#to boldly flee

[typebarmagazine]

No Country for Cringe Men: Remembering the Channel Awesome Anniversary Trilogy

By Christopher Sloce

From bedroom pop to Tommy Wiseau, amateurism in pop culture carries its own charm. If there’s any reason the amateurism of Doug Walker invites so much fascination, it’s because of how much Walker curdled that natural charm by creating some of the worst, most uniquely nasty films ever made. Films so infamous they turned a popular internet reviewer into a reviled piece of internet lore–Grendel wearing a red tie and a white t-shirt.

Despite Walker’s inability to write a joke, he initially rose to fame for a web comedy series called The Nostalgia Critic he created in 2007. Walker, as adept at acting as he was at all things comical, starred as the titular character. The series, however, had one thing going for it: late aughts internet video consumers needed an angry guy who screeched at cartoons to go along with their angry guys who yelled at video games.

Walker settled into a then-fertile niche, simultaneously pushing 80s & 90s nostalgia, faux-outrage, and jokes so Reddit-y they’d make even the surliest narwhal bacon at midnight. Doug Walker was our Nostalgia Critic not because he was uniquely charismatic or insightful, but because his nostalgia was our nostalgia. He remembered it so we didn’t have to. 

What kept Doug from falling by the cultural wayside, compared to other angry Internet reviewers, was ambition. A hit web series wasn’t enough. 

Walker founded a video hub of internet reviewers called That Guy With the Glasses (which eventually became Channel Awesome). The site hosted reviewers of various media formats, but mostly promoted The Nostalgia Critic and Doug Walker’s other projects like Bum Reviews and Ask That Guy With the Glasses.

Walker celebrated the site’s first anniversary innocently enough, with a crossover episode featuring his kayfabe rival, the Angry Video Game Nerd. The battle between the Nostalgia Critic and the Nerd became pitched as a battle between Gamers and Critics. This sort of small-fry fanservice internet video is cringey, but over in twenty minutes. 

The next year, Walker rang in the site’s anniversary with a full-length movie, Kickassia (2010) . Two more, Suburban Knights (2011) and To Boldly Flee (2012), would follow. It was this trilogy that would lead to Doug’s legend, a legend that includes his fall from such great heights, when his former collaborators released an open letter called “Not So Awesome”, detailing the alleged incompetence and horrible business culture of Channel Awesome. Suddenly, the movies weren’t just cringe. They were evidence. 

Read more...

[mararhodus]

Letterboxd Pull List #8: The Review Must Go On, I Guess

[mwphisto]

I’m not sensitive!

Pairings include: Xavier x Reader | Rafayel x Reader | Zayne x Reader | Sylus x Reader | Caleb x Reader

Warning, this post includes: breast play, nipple play, breast kissing, nipple kissing / licking / and biting

A/N: as a girlie that was convinced her boobs we’re not sensitive, I present you this lmao. Of course, it is totally normal for your breasts to not be sensitive and for you to not be into breast play!!!! I am just writing based on my own experiences, and even then, it can be a 50/50 for me lol. Bigger chest = less sensitivity from what I've heard, but it's different for everyone! Much love!!

Moving Banners from @cafekitsune | LaDs men banner by me!

Xavier

A lazy weekend afternoon, comfy clothes, lots of snacks, and some cheesy horror movies playing on Xavier's TV screen. You were more engulfed in each other than anything else, the conversation flowing naturally as you lounged against the armrest of his couch.

"I'm serious, they're not sensitive." Your feet rest on his lap, his long fingers gently stroking up and down the skin of your calf. "I highly doubt it." Xavier countered with ease, blue eyes sparkling as a smirk curled his lips. "I just think you haven't met the right person."

Some way, somehow, the conversation had turned towards intimacy. What parts of you were sensitive, what parts weren't, the whole nine. Tension had been growing, but neither of you were willing to bite just yet. Even as you fought the urge to squeeze your thighs.

"The right person, huh? You're saying you can prove me wrong?"

You boldly proclaimed your breasts were not sensitive, your nipples not all that appealing to yourself when you had time alone. You didn't really touch them, like ever, even when masturbating.

"I believe I can give it my best shot..." Xavier started, using one finger to trail up towards your knee. "... that way, we can be positive that it's not... user error." He grins, something boyish and full of mischief and dammit you're a goner. "Well, you have my permission, Xavi."

Just like that, he's tugging your legs as he lunges. Crushing his lips to yours in a bruising kiss. The hand that had been playing with your ankles and calves now splayed over your exposed thigh. Sneaking under your lounge shorts and reaching up towards your underwear.

His other hand snuck under your hoodie - one you had stolen from him - and didn't stop until he cupped one bare breast. "No bra?" a murmur against your lips, he didn't give you a chance to answer before his tongue was slipping into your mouth.

You arched into his touch, the warmth of his hand against your skin making your lips tremble as you tried to keep up with Xavier's needy kisses. He squeezes, not hard enough to hurt but enough to elicit a gasp, a triumphant smirk already curling his lips.

"See... you needed the right person." Saliva keeps you connected as he pulls away, blue irises nearly devoured by his dilated pupils. "The right person with the best touch..." His thumb and pointer finger find your nipple, squeezing it a few times experimentally.

A gasp flees you, body jerking away from the shock of pleasure that zapped up your spine. You'd tried this before, when you had been so convinced that playing with a woman's chest was a key part of her arousal, and you had been so disappointed when nothing really... happened.

Now, Xavier was doing all the things you had tried and quickly given up on, and he was getting the reactions you craved. "Xavier h-how... oh!" You're panting as he rolls the bud between his fingers, adding more stimulation by sucking along your jaw. "You just needed the right person to prove you wrong." it's muffled against your skin, a sigh of annoyance leaving him a second later.

"Take this off." All at once, he leaves you. Just long enough to yank the hoodie up and over your head.

“Let’s try this…” Xavier wasted no time, not bothering to tease you by lingering his kisses. The cool air of his apartment caused your nipples to harden, and Xavier was quick to pull one of the buds into his awaiting mouth.

Your head fell back, hands shooting to grab his head as a feeble cry of his name fled your lips. Heat pooled deep in your belly, leaking slowly and ruining your underwear. You didn’t think it was possible for your breasts to feel this way, never mind for it to cause such a reaction to the rest of you.

“X-Xavier, fuck me, please.”

“Someone’s eager.” He lets go of your nipple with a slick pop, a cocky grin now sneaking up his lips. “I’ve barely got to have my fun, you need to be patient Ms. I’m not sensitive.” You want to punch him and kiss him all at once.

Rafayel

A study of anatomy, sketching various bodies in various shapes, colors, and sizes. You couldn't even pinpoint how or when the conversation switched to personal weak spots, but... "What about your chest? Most people list their chest as a sensitive spot."

"Not me." You pout a bit, hands coming up to cup your chest before meeting Rafayel's eyes. "Maybe I'm just broken."

Your chest had never been all that sensitive from what you could tell. You'd tried a handful of times to make it feel as good as it looks, books, movies, and even porn videos put so much focus on stimulating a woman's breast that you assumed it had to feel good.

And when it fell flat? You had concluded your breasts were simply less sensitive than others. "You're certainly not broken." Rafayel sets his sketchpad down, pushing up from his seat on the floor to stalk towards where you had been lounging on his bed.

"Your body is way more responsive to someone else's touch opposed to your own." You feel your eyebrows raise, glancing between where he towered above you and where his hand was heading. "Can I show you? Or perhaps, prove my theory?" Your tongue darts out to wet your bottom lip, nodding a little to fast for your liking.

Rafayel sits himself down on the edge of his bed, a hand sliding over the thin material of your tank top. "You get too lost in your own head, of course, you won't be able to focus on how good it can feel." And your breathing stutters as his hand gingerly cups your right breast.

"Just relax, I've got you." As Rafayel speaks, he gently kneads the pliant flesh, silently noting that your nipples harden under his touch. "I-I just see these girls that can't go braless because their nipples are so sensitive and it just doesn't ma-oh!" Rafayel cuts you off by using his pointer and middle finger to squish the prominent bud.

"Ah-ah, what did I say about relaxing? Just enjoy..." Heat is starting to seep into your cheeks, your hand coming up instinctively to clutch Rafayel's wrist as he toys with your breast.

"They're so pretty, can I lift this up?" he's using his free hand to tug at the elastic material of your tank top, smirking when you nod your approval. "Atta girl, let me see these beauties...shit." His cheeks are turning pink, pupils dilating wide as he uses his other hand to cup your neglected left breast. "Fuck, they're so perfect."

You want to open your mouth and retaliate, but you think they are far from perfect. But you swallow it, knowing better than to dare contradict him when it comes to statements about your beauty. "And so responsive, see what happens when you listen to me?"

He seals the deal with a pinch, tugging both of your perked nipples between his thumb and pointer fingers before leaning down to kiss your sternum. "So damn beautiful." Another kiss, one closer to your right breast. "And so not broken, don't ever say that again."

This time, the kiss lands on your nipple, and you're mewling, cheeks burning hot as you clutch his wrist just a little tighter. Rafayel doesn't pull away this time, instead he removes his hand completely so he can suck the now-sensitive bud between his lips.

You're not sure how long he stays on you like that, but you know your panties are drenched and your nipple is swollen by the time Rafayel finally eases up. "Can I?" he swallows, chest heaving as he looks at your chest. He needs to mark them first and then sketch them.

"Can I fuck these after I show you how sensitive they can be?"

Zayne

You loved watching him type his reports, finding his meticulous typing to be both adorable and hot. Maybe it was just because you were so deeply in love with him, but dammit you could watch Zayne work all day. So, when he dragged over a human anatomy chart while typing on a patient file, you felt the need to pop the question.

"Zayne?" You sounded hesitant uttering it, so naturally, Zayne's attention was immediately focused on you. "Is something wrong?" Immediately, you wanted to swallow your words. "I-Uh, no, but I just kinda... had a question." You feel like you're going to die.

"Go on." He relaxed a bit, a telling sign that he could see your anxiety and wanted you to feel comfortable. "Ah, well." You look away, swallowing the lump in your throat before trying again. "I was just wondering if it was normal for... for breasts to not be sensitive."

The surgeon's eyebrow twitches upwards at that, and now you really want to melt into the chair you had been lounging in.

"Well, medically speaking, yes. It depends on the person. Sometimes chest size factors into sensitivity; sometimes it really doesn't. But, overall, it's pretty normal and fairly common...why?" Concluding his answer, Zayne seemed to really process what you were asking.

You felt a tad relieved upon hearing that it wasn't a one-in-a-million chance that you deemed your chest to be lacking sensitivity. "Oh, well, my breasts aren't all that sensitive, I kind of worried it wasn't normal, you know?" Zayne nodded, ears turning a shade of red. "Many forms of media have set unrealistic expectations."

"Tell me about it. I really felt self-conscious." You were ready to resume your lounging, but Zayne was still eyeing you.

"Would you like me to perform an exam?"

You swallow, eyes widening in surprise, but your head is moving faster. A nod escapes you before you can stop it, clearing your throat, you add, "That would be great, actually. I'd appreciate it."

Somehow, you're shirtless and braless on Zayne's exam table. The cool air of his office makes your nipples pebble. "They look perfect." He states it plainly, leaving no room for debate, even as your cheeks begin to burn. With skilled hands, the surgeon cups both of your bare breasts in his hands, kneading and squeezing meticulously.

The sensation sends a shrill of arousal straight to your tummy, and you find yourself gripping the edge of the exam table. "It's also quite common for your brain to pick a side. If you squeeze your own breast, your brain may focus more on what your hand is feeling rather than your chest." He squeezes them both to send the point home.

"And..." Zayne's head lowers, a gentle kiss placed on the top of each breast before he squeezes your nipples. "... different forms of stimulation can really shake things up."

In the blink of an eye, your back is against the cool leather of his exam table. The same table is now creaking as Zayne climbs up on it with you. "Z-zayne, what are you-" But his mouth descends on your breasts again, and suddenly all words die on your tongue.

His nose drags along your skin, inhaling your scent before suckling on one of your nipples. His hand comes up to toy with your other breast, determined to not let it go neglected during his exam.

"Some women find breast stimulation to be more effective when..." he swallows, angling himself so his free hand can slide down your stomach and towards the waistband of your pants. "...vaginal stimulation is provided at the same time."

Sylus

"Your chest is pretty sensitive, huh, Sy?" Your fingers dance lazily across his pecs, watching his expression for any signs. Sure enough, his brows pinch together briefly before relaxing again. "I guess you could say that." A gentle murmur, one that is full of exhaustion despite his eyes scanning over the pages of a book.

You were both supposed to be sleeping, but some days this was the only time you two could really spend time together. Snuggled into the crook of his arm, you found your brain wandering.

"Why are you asking, anyway?" his finger marks the spot he left off on, carmine eyes sliding to look down at where you peered up at him. "I just wish my chest was as sensitive as yours." You said it almost dreamily, as if you didn't realize what that statement did to him.

"Your breasts aren't sensitive?" Sylus countered, the book in his hand being tossed onto the nightstand so he could focus everything on you. "No, not really. I've tried but... nothing really works. I don't get how girls get so worked up when their breasts are touched."

He seemed to think it over for a moment, a small smirk curling his lips. "Do you care if I try something before you come to such a conclusion?" He turns towards you, his free hand resting on your shoulder and pushing you to your back. “You know what? Sure, go ahead. I doubt the outcome will change what I said.”

A little bit of defiance, sure. But Sylus caught the hint of sadness too. Now, he was even more determined.

"Don't be so quick..." His hand cups your breast through the silk of your nightgown, eliciting a small gasp. "...to doubt me, kitten." He's warm, hands that are honed to kill are now gentle as they massage your breast tenderly. "Just relax, let me take care of you."

Your lips are wobbling as he tugs the silky material down, letting both of your breasts spill out for his viewing pleasure. "If it doesn't work, if this doesn't feel good..." he pushed upwards, hovering above you slightly so he could lower his head and begin kissing your chest. "...I'll make it up to you in a way I know you love."

He tugs a nipple into his mouth, and you're arching off the mattress, the sudden sensation making your eyes water. The idea of not being sensitive has simply given Sylus the green light to be rougher.

"Sylus!" Your fingers curl into his hair, tugging as he bites down on the pebbled bud. His tongue lathers your nipple a moment later, soothing any pain from his bite. He lets go a second later, saliva connecting him to your breast even with the new distance.

"Let me..." he's tugging at your nightgown again, instead of your neckline, he's shoving the bottom hem up towards your stomach. "...fuck you while I do this. Nothing but the best, right?" Fuck, your head was spinning, legs parting as you welcomed his offer.

"I'll make you feel so good, promise." Sylus' lips are back on your breasts, kneading and sucking as he fishes his cock out with his free hand. "Sylus, I need you, now." dammit, maybe he was right. Your mind was going fuzzy from the attention he was giving you.

"I know, and you have me. Just..." he's nudging your entrance, sending you into a spiral as he bites down on your nipple and pushes himself inside. A shrill cry leaves your lips, hands gripping his biceps in a feeble attempt to remain grounded.

"Stick with me, Kitten. We've got a long night ahead, I need to be thorough with my research."

Caleb

You were lying on Caleb's bed, phone held high as you scrolled mindlessly. Caleb lies beside you, reading through some pilot magazine you had picked up at the convenience store earlier. A video on your feed has your mind going, chewing on on your inner cheek as you ponder your question out loud.

"I wonder what it's like to have a sensitive chest?"

"You uh... You asking me that, pip?" Caleb was caught off guard, one eyebrow twitching upwards as he turned his head just enough to look at you. Realizing your mistake, you can't help but laugh out of embarrassment. "More so talking to myself."

"Your chest isn't... sensitive?" Caleb jumps right to the point, suddenly more intrigued with your answer now that the initial surprise has worn off. "No, not really. I mean, I've tried like everything and it just doesn't... do all that much."

"Like doesn't feel good at all? Or just not what you expected?" The magazine is long forgotten, Caleb is rolling onto his side to really study you. "I guess... not as good as I hoped? I just feel like they're not as sensitive as they could be." You attempt to shrug it off, but Caleb doesn't seem to want to let it go.

"Can I... give it a shot, pip?" And suddenly it all clicked into place. You click your phone off, tossing it to the side and sighing. "By all means, Caleb. Have your fun." Like a dog who just got praised, Caleb is quick to get to work. Not bothering with touching you over your shirt. In one motion, he has tugged the clothing up and over your bare chest.

"Let's see..." calloused fingers are running up your stomach, his eyes focused on the way your nipples harden due to the exposed air. "...it's not odd for breasts to lack sensitivity." Even as he speaks, goosebumps erupt over your skin. "But sometimes, you just need the right touch to prove you wrong."

Gingerly, your right breast is cupped in his warm embrace, earning a sharp inhale as you flicker between his hand and face. "And hands aren't always what is needed." His head is descending on your chest before you can process it, a shrill cry of his name leaving your lips as he nips at the fat of your chest.

"Different sensations invoke different responses." A lick to soothe the bruise he had made. His tongue is wet and warm as it trails up to your nipple. "Some prefer ice..." a lick "...some prefer heat or wax" a kiss directly on top of the pebbling bud. "Others like tickling." His nose nuzzles it before pulling back. "And others like pain."

Caleb's teeth sink into your nipple, and your back arches off the mattress. "It's all up to you, whatever you deem best." You're seeing stars, a whimper leaving your lips as you guide his hand over to your neglected breast. "Just make me feel good, please."

"At your service, pip."

[robertreich]

Friends, After Trump and Vance’s disgraceful treatment of President Zelensky last Friday, some of you might feel ashamed of America. You might even feel ashamed to be an American. The proper locus of shame is Trump and Vance. I’m ashamed that they, along with Elon Musk, are now leading our nation. I’m also ashamed that their Republican lackeys in Congress are enabling and encouraging them. I’m ashamed that Democrats in Congress are so supine. Yet I urge you not to give in to the sort of resignation or cynicism that believes nothing can be done — that we are powerless and have no choice but to watch our nation and everything it has stood for be hijacked by Trump, Vance, and Musk. We have enormous power and many choices. When the American people understand what is happening — as they are beginning to — no Republican in Congress will be safe. Even now, majorities of independents and Democrats, and even some 30 percent of Republican voters, believe we must stand with Ukraine. The fundamental choice has not been as stark since World War II: democracy and freedom, or dictatorship and tyranny. Trump and his sycophants are siding with the latter. The rest of us must loudly, proudly, and boldly proclaim our allegiance to the former. Trump is emboldening the dark forces of dictatorship everywhere. Taiwan is reporting more Chinese military drills around the island. Europe and all free people around the world must rally at this time of American emergency. If the United States won’t seize Russia’s frozen assets and put them into an account for Ukraine to pay for further arms, Europeans must do this and let Ukraine buy from European defense contractors. A final thought. What we are witnessing from Trump and Vance and Musk — their bellicose bullying, their outright lies, their fear-mongering, their disrespect and disdain for others, their emboldening of dictators around the world — is not all bad if it awakens America. The more Americans see and absorb the horrors of this regime, the greater the likelihood we will mobilize against it. Not all of us, of course, but the great majority. As bad as this regime gets, it will clarify for Americans what is happening to this country, and what we must do to get it back on the track toward social justice, democracy, and widespread prosperity. Yes, the regime is harming many innocent people. Its lawless cruelty is sickening. But there will be a reckoning. I have always believed America is not a nation of bullies. We have protected the vulnerable, comforted the afflicted, granted refuge to those fleeing violence and persecution, and given voice to those who otherwise would not be heard. These ideals are found in the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, Emma Lazarus’s poem affixed to the Statue of Liberty, FDR’s second inaugural address, and Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” sermon at the 1963 March on Washington. They connect us with previous generations of Americans who risked everything —some of whom sacrificed their lives — to preserve democracy and achieve a greater good. Do not feel shame in America. Feel pride in the ideals we share. Feel honored that you are an activist warrior on the right side of history. Feel strength in our conviction. Feel power in our cause. We will prevail against Trump — against his bullying, his brutality, and his barbarity. What are your thoughts?

[lay-z]

Nikto headcanons! Indulge me beloved ❤️❤️

BABY! ANYTHING FOR YOU! 🤍 I'll make them extra indulgent for youuuuu

принцесса - printsessa/princess

Nikto headcanons, strangers to lovers

He's basically feral when you first meet.

Barely talks unless his teammates, especially Krüger, somehow manage to make him engage in conversation with you.

When he finally does approach you willingly after a long while (and because his most trusted circle does seem to trust you), it's like someone else is speaking for him, and that's how you figure out that he suffers from DID.

He dissociates a lot, but you don't mind, and you get to know his many different alters.

One is downright mean, one is childish and almost playful, one is very sweet and introduces herself as 'mat'' (mother), and another one is so very clingy and charming that you sometimes don't know how to handle it.

Most times, Nikto doesn't know nor remember the interactions. He's not mentally present after all, but eventually, his alters confess to him that they're all drawn to you in their own ways.

Nikto realizes that you actually want to be around him, even though he sees himself as a monster; someone who isn't good enough for you.

One evening, he seeks you out, asking downright boldly: "принцесса, you do like me, da?"

When you confess that you do, in fact, like him a lot, that you care about him, flaws, scars, and all... he pushes you backward into your room, towering as he gazes at you with sharp blue eyes, like a shark ready to attack.

And when you're about ready to either beg for mercy or flee like a little rodent, he suddenly pulls his mask off for the first time; baring his face to you.

It's not as bad as you'd imagined it to be. Sure, he has lots of nasty scars and burn marks, but his nose is still there and so are his lips which means Krüger, the motherfucker, has lied to you with his silly horror stories about Nikto.

"You're not scared of me, принцесса."

You shake your head and it looks like his broad shoulders slump with a ragged sigh of relief.

Bold as ever, he steps closer until his arm can snake around your waist, and he tugs. His eyes flicker down to your lips and you nearly squeak in fear or excitement? Perhaps both.

"I will kiss you now, принцесса. Don't want any one of them to kiss you first, da?"

You know he's talking about his alters and you nod obediently, hands fisting into his black tac shirt tentatively as your head dips back to welcome his chapped lips.

[greatcheshire]

just watched your new video about channel awesome, loved it!

why is tvtropes so obsessed with doug walker/channel awesome?

Thank you!

I think it’s a thing where during Channel Awesome’s heyday, it attracted the same sort of pop culture obsessives that TV Tropes appeals to, like me. And because TV Tropes is a site that doesn’t get updated that much, a lot of the stuff that got posted there 10+ years ago by Channel Awesome diehard fans is still there, and stands out more because nobody is actively editing any of these pages because who out there cares enough to moderate and remove things from the YMMV pages to Pop Quiz Hotshot or To Boldly Flee.

[pilotingdreammsss]

┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈

Mystic Flour Cookie x Loyal servant reader.

Warnings: Depictions of violence, jam (blood) mention, murder mention, angst, post corruption Mystic Flour Cookie, Angst.

Your Master had fallen to apathy long ago.

Her servants had fallen away, dead leaves in the wind, but you'd painfully remained. Though she no longer answered to you with the same love.

Her tone was too flat, too devoid of emotion. You wished to hear warmth from her once again, though you knew it was a distant placid fantasy. The warmth was long gone. Though you diligently remained by her side, with that little Haetae...

"You continue into the Ivory Pagoda, my master's territory."

You had, boldly, placed yourself between the pagoda's entrance and the outdoors. Murmurs spread through the crowd of brave adventurers. Too brave. No-one would find your master's coocoon. Never again would she be treated the way she was in the bygone past.

If that meant you were to fight, so be it. Your hands linger over your dagger, branded with Mystic Flour Cookie's sigil. It's a meager dagger; it's not so capable of doing much damage. Though your will would will it to do so.

The head adventurer, a loud, boisterous man, unseaths a sword. It's a gleaming, pointed object, heavy. Certainly not light, however nonetheless, deadly. His hold holds all his intent. He, too, would cut through you to gain access to your master. It's a painful cycle of irony, almost laughable if it was not blaringly harmful.

His will was obvious, so you move first, pushing yourself forward. You catch the adventurer's cheek with your dagger - crumbs fall from his head, and jam splatters onto your dagger. It's desperately violent and catches him off guard, so much so that he forgets his sword, pulling his hands in front of his face, fear painting his features.

Anger. So much anger, your grip on the dagger is unbearably tight even for your hand. Never again! The foolish selfishness of cookies had taken your true love away. They will not be allowed to even gaze upon her.

Even if that means slaughter, even if that means you leave with jam stained hands.

Your attack is enough for the group to scatter, to flee with tails between their legs. Never had they thought that you, a peaceful guardian and loyal servant, could prove to be so crude! You had come to expect nothing less or more from them. You no longer felt guilty using brutish force to repel unwelcome visitors.

You turn on your heel, hands soaked in jam, to gaze upon the Pagoda. It's a long way up, though the trek was something you'd acclimated to long ago. It's lengthy, too, but it's nothing you're incapable of doing. Winding... long... you fill the silence with thoughts of her past benevolence. How she'd dearly granted your wish - if you knew how things would turn, you would've never proclaimed your wish in the first place.

Her lackluster love in the present was not enough to fill the void.

┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈

"Y/N cookie."

You kneel - you cannot fathom what she feels from voice alone.

"My lord - I have cast away them."

She approaches, hands finding your face. Even now, you flinch and cinch your eyes shut.

"They will find that it is futile to return here."

You barely nod. Her hands hold some warmth, though you fear you're simply projecting your desires. Ones she'd insited you exile, as desire kept you bound to Earthbread. Alas, you were not as strong as her.

Your hands hover over hers, gently grabbing onto them.

"I may have given nothing for your loyalty..."

Something compels you to meet her eyes, despite your weakness. Why do you weaken under her gaze?

"Earthly rewards are fleeting. But you, too, are fleeting. I give you no rewards for keeping this Ivory Pagoda untouched by selfish hands."

You nod, for it is true. She sparsely gave you even a compliment.

"My lord, that was my wish. To ensure you, and this place, was kept pristine, divine."

A smile tinges at the end of her lips. Though maybe you are imagining things. You find her to only come closer - unusual. She was usually not one for close proximity.

Then, a feather-light peck on your forehead. Pulling away any hair that may have been in her way - her lips meet your forehead.

It is almost divine.

"... You are my loyal servant. Your servitude to the world of white is not meaningless. I, too, wish you find peace within it."

[goatgoesmbe]

tw : stalking, borderline crime attempted, abrupt ending, assault, shitty ex, SA, DEAD DOVE : DO NOT EAT

Soap x reader

You were being followed.

At first, you thought you were just paranoid, but you're sure of it now.

This was supposed to be your night, partying to your heart's content at the club, celebrating your promotion at work with your girlfriends.

The thumping of your heart climbed up your throat. You regretted denying one of your friends who offered a ride home before. You felt stupid, thinking that it would be okay since your apartment wasn't far anyway.

Looking back, your held your breath at the sight of a man in a hoodie who tried to act casual, standing by the bus stop.

You couldn't really see his face, but then his eyes locked with yours and you froze.

It's your ex.

He seemed to realize that his cover was blown, since he now starting to approach you boldly.

You should run. But your feet were frozen at the spot.

And when you finally snapped out of your fear, it was too late. His hand gripped one of your wrists when you tried to flee.

"Calm down, it's just me" He grumbled, still not letting go of his hold.

"What do you want?" You snapped back at him, looking up with a glare.

He sighed, sounding like he genuinely regretted everything. But you knew better "I miss you..".

The hair on the back of your neck stood up.

"I already have someone" You then hissed without thinking. And after you managed to get his grip off you, you stomped away.

His footsteps followed behind.

"Oh please, who else would want to tolerate you?" He said mockingly. "Come on.. while I'm still nice" He then added in a purr as his hand reached out to purposefully brush against your ass.

You jumped and let out a squeal which made him panic. His hand claimed your mouth shut and you continued to struggle.

Trashing around, punching and kicking at him as much as you could. But you were losing, feet digging onto the pavement as he tried to drag you to some dark alley.

As your movement became more frantic, you started to tear up and lose hope until suddenly- your ex let go of you to hold his cheek which was now red, a cut forming at the side of his lips.

Your ex glared at the direction from where the punch came "Who the fuck-".

A man loomed over you two, bright blue eyes pinning your ex on the spot, highlighted by the contrast of the night shadowing his figure.

"This is that someone I'm talking about-" You suddenly said without thinking and immediately stood beside this savior of yours. With your hands circling his arm, you pressed against his side. And you felt relieved when he didn't seem to mind.

You didn't know why you said that, desperation maybe, and the fact that he just saved you.

He didn't look bad after all, despite the glare directed at your ex, he seemed like a nice guy.

"My boyfriend um- John.." you said, saying the first basic name that came to mind.

You sensed your savior glanced at you for a split second before returning to glare at your ex.

"Aye, back aff" 'John' growled and pulled you closer by your hip.

His voice was deeper than you expected, giving you a different kind of shiver down your spine. A pleasant one.

You shook that thought of your head immediately. Not the time.

Your ex snickered, but was smart enough to know that he wouldn't be able to take this guy. "Really?" He asked to no one in particular.

None of you responded.

"Listen here, buddy" Your ex started. "A bitch that dressed like that, act like that.. is only want one thing," He said mockingly.

"Dinnae think it's any o' yer business." 'John' rumbled.

And before your ex could say anything in response, your savior got in his face. "Back. Aff. If she e’er feels unsafe aroond ye again, ye’ll learn firsthand whit it’s like tae be truly afraid"

The color in your ex's face drained at that. You watched him hesitating before finally stomping away after sending another glare your way.

The grip on your hip loosened when the piece of shit had gone far enough.

"Are ye alrigh', lass?" He turned to you, the rumble in his voice turning into something softer.

You could only nod in response, your heart was still racing in your chest as you tried to calm down now the threat was gone.

"..Thank you" You murmured after a moment.

"Let me walk ye hame, aye? It’s no safe for a bonnie lass like you tae be oot at nicht alane" He offered with a smile that made you blush.

"O-oh, alright then.. thanks.." You answered, thinking that it would be best to accept since you didn't know if your ex was truly gone for good or not.

His smile widened in response and he wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you two started walking.

Oh you.

Sweet yet foolish birdie that you are.

Falling into his palm just like that.

You should've thought twice before guiding some random man to your address.

You just said it yourself. He's your boyfriend now.

And he definitely won't let his new girlfriend out of his sight.

Or do you really need a lesson on how not to trust a man? Because he would show you why.

...

im ashamed to say this is inspired by one of those ridiculous novel ad, BUTTT I CAME UP WITH MY OWN PLOT

[someonegoood]

THE CORPORATE EQUATION drabble #1 ✫ jeon jungkook

CONTAINS: corporate!au, ceo!jk, headofhr!reader, grumpy x sunshine, slow burn, teasing, accidental vulnerability, mutual pining, emotionally unavailable jk, bickering turned bonding, fluff & angst :)

NOTE: this will be a mini series. thanks so much for reading!! this work is not revised and english is not my first language :)

my main masterlist! ❀ the corporate equation masterlist!

miiini taglist @haru-jiminn @parapiop7 <3

drabble #1: paper trails

The elevator opened its doors, while you were clutching the stack of papers against your chest like a lifeline. Yesterday night, after arriving to your apartment, you wondered if Mr. Jeon had eaten the matcha cream puff... The HR department recieved you, and in the chaos of handling last-minute requests, you’d volunteered to deliver an important report to Jungkook’s office.

You told yourself it was no big deal. After all, how hard could it be to drop off a folder? But as you were approaching his office, revealing the vast, modern expanse of the room , your confidence faltered. The quiet here felt oppressive, the polished floors reflecting the harsh fluorescent lights.

Taking a deep breath, the sound of your heels echoing in the empty hallway. When you reached the door, you knocked twice before pushing it open.

Jungkook was seated at his desk, his sleeves rolled up to reveal his tattooed forearm as he flipped through a stack of documents. He didn’t look up immediately, but his voice was sharp as ever.

“Come in,” he said, though it sounded more like an order than an invitation.

You stepped inside, carefully placing the folder on his desk. “Here are the reports you requested,” you said, your voice steady despite the fluttering nerves in your stomach.

Jungkook finally looked up, his dark eyes locking onto yours. He reached for the folder without a word, flipping it open and scanning the contents. The silence stretched on, growing heavier with each passing second.

Then, he stopped. His gaze snapped back to you, and his brow furrowed.

“These aren’t the reports I asked for,” he said flatly, his tone laced with irritation.

Your stomach dropped. “What? They’re not?”

He closed the folder with a sharp snap, his expression unreadable but undoubtedly unimpressed. “No, Miss Y/N, they’re not. Unless, of course, you thought my request for the quarterly budget analysis actually meant bringing me HR’s internal team-building schedules.”

Heat flushed your face as you stammered, “I—I’m so sorry! There must have been a mix-up. I’ll go back and—”

He cut you off with a sigh, leaning back in his chair as he ran a hand through his dark hair. “Do you know what’s worse than inefficiency, Miss?”

His tattooed hand run through his dark locks, making you flutter. You blinked, unsure if the question was rhetorical. “…No?”

“Confidence in inefficiency,” he replied, his lips curving into a faint smirk. “It’s truly impressive how boldly you delivered the wrong documents.”

Your jaw tightened, both embarrassed and frustrated by his sarcasm. “I’ll fix it right away, Mr. Jeon.”

“Alright,” he said, picking up his coffee mug and gesturing toward the door.

You turned on your heel, ready to flee, but just as you reached the door, his voice stopped you.

“Wait.”

You froze, glancing over your shoulder. Jungkook had set the folder aside and was eyeing the empty mug in his hand. He sighed again, though this time it seemed more resigned than annoyed.

“Bring me the correct reports,” he said, standing and heading toward the coffee machine in the corner of his office. “And while you’re at it, grab some coffee.”

The jab stung, but you couldn’t help noticing the faintest hint of amusement in his voice. You hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Yes, sir.”

When you returned twenty minutes later, armed with the correct folder and a hastily brewed cup of coffee, Jungkook was seated on the couch by the window, his laptop balanced on his knees.

You set the folder on the coffee table in front of him. “Here are the right reports,” you said, your tone a little firmer this time.

He glanced up, one eyebrow raised. “And the coffee?”

You set the mug beside the folder, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. “Freshly brewed, as requested.”

Jungkook reached for the mug, taking a sip before finally nodding his approval. “Better.”

You sat in the chair opposite him, unsure if you were dismissed or expected to stay. The tension in the room was palpable, but there was also something oddly... relaxed about the moment.

“So,” Jungkook said after a beat, setting the mug down. “Tell me, Miss, how does someone as ‘efficient’ as you end up in HR?”

His tone was teasing, but the glint in his eyes made your heart skip a beat. You folded your arms, leaning back in your chair. “I like helping people, Mr. Jeon. Even grumpy CEOs who don’t appreciate my efforts.”

Jungkook actually chuckled at that, the sound low and unexpected. He leaned back slightly, cradling the mug in his hands, his dark eyes glinting with something unreadable.

“Oh,” he said, his voice taking on a teasing edge. “So you’re a tease, Miss Y/N?”

Your breath hitched, and your eyes widened in surprise at his sudden shift in tone. There was a teasing lilt in his voice, and the way he leaned back in his chair, exuding an effortless confidence, sent a shiver down your spine.

You could feel a flush creeping up your neck, not just from embarrassment but from something else entirely—a strange, unwelcome thrill that stirred in the pit of your stomach. Was he joking? He had to be joking—right?

“I—what?” you stammered, completely caught off guard.

He raised a brow, clearly amused by your flustered reaction. “You just implied I’m grumpy and ungrateful. Sounds like teasing to me.”

You opened your mouth to reply, but no words came out. The way he was looking at you—half amused, half... something else—had your brain short-circuiting.

Finally, you managed to recover enough to say, “Well, maybe if you weren’t so grumpy and ungrateful, there wouldn’t be anything to tease you about.”

The words tumbled out before you could stop them, and the moment they did, you wanted to smack yourself. But instead of looking annoyed, Jungkook tilted his head, his smirk deepening.

“Touché,” he murmured, taking another sip of his coffee.

The air in the room shifted, the tension crackling like static electricity. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks again, but this time, it wasn’t just from embarrassment.

“Well,” you said quickly, standing up and smoothing down your skirt. “I should get back to work. Let me know if you need anything else, Mr. Jeon.”

He watched you for a moment, his gaze lingering a second too long before he nodded. “Noted. But be careful, Miss Y/N.”

You paused, glancing back at him. “Careful of what?”

His smirk softened, but his eyes remained intense. “Teasing the CEO is a dangerous game.”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, shaking your head as you made your way to the door. “I’ll keep that in mind, Mr. Jeon.”

As the door clicked shut behind you, your heart was pounding in your chest. You weren’t sure what had just happened, but one thing was certain: Jeon Jungkook was full of surprises.

previous / next

[typebarmagazine]

Doug Walker Was Right: How To Boldly Flee Predicted the Modern Internet

By Sean Dillon

The problem with talking about To Boldly Flee–one of the most infamous movies ever made–is that it is an absolute mess. Sadly, the cinematic farrago of To Boldly Flee is not kin to a film like Southland Tales, the 2006 alternate future dystopian black comedy, where the mess ultimately reveals an order evident through historical hindsight.

Rather, To Boldly Flee is the kind of byzantine trainwreck that has five different main characters, seven plots interposing themselves over three and a half hours (that feels more like eight due to the languid pacing ), and a genuine sense that everything was being micromanaged to hell. 

Despite all this, To Boldly Flee–the last in a trilogy of movies created by Doug Walker, better known by his internet movie reviewer persona the Nostalgia Critic–is prescient in a way countless snarky YouTube reviews of the film frequently miss. A truly horrific thesis, nay a prediction, lies at the heart of the film: The crux of all criticism is cruelty.  

To Boldly Flee represents a vision of what the media landscape would become. Not so much a prediction of the internet’s future, but the ugly, blood and cervical mucus-soaked birth.

Read more...

[adailytea]

Yet Wolborg lay utterly motionless, serene, almost like she had decided he was no longer worth even scaring. A small part of him bristled indignantly at the thought. But then, a defiant, almost mischievous streak, long buried under layers of bitterness and seriousness, sparked in his chest and pushed him to test the limits of the beast’s patience. "Getting comfortable, are we?" The words escaped him like a wisp of playful challenge. Yuriy approached her slowly until just inches separated him from his sacred beast. He removed his glove and his now naked hand hesitated just above her flank. A shiver ran deeply down his spine, warning him of this recklessness. He smirked, half daring, half mocking his own fear. Then, boldly, he pressed his palm slowly down. A powerful sensation surged through him as soon as his fingers sank over her immaterial fur. It was like plunging his fist into mildly electrified waters. Her surface wasn’t solid, but it wasn’t vapor either. His eyes shot wide and he drew a startled breath as sparking currents coursed through every nerve in his hand, crawling up his arm, shoulder, reaching his chest, then gripping muscles and bones. He couldn’t describe let alone recognize the sensation, physical and emotional. Then, as shimmering fur danced like ghostly flames amidst his fingers, Wolborg’s golden eyes rolled open in one calm motion, locking directly, almost lazily, onto him. Yuriy froze, pupils shrinking to pinpricks in his eyes. His scowl deepened, expression challenging and arrogant, but every muscle poised to defend or flee. He waited for the teeth, the bite, the thrashing, the icicles, his back to hit the ground again under the crushing strength of her paw and claws. He did not remove his hand, did not look away. Dared her to reject him again. Wolborg stared at him. Unblinking, unreadable, holding him captive. Then closed her eyes again. Returned to “sleep” as if she had merely brushed aside a fly, a harmless disturbance. Yuriy stared down at his hand, stunned, fingers still resting upon her flank, the energy humming against his skin. A wave of something warm and unfamiliar surged inside his chest, a feeling he hadn’t known for so long that it took him several seconds to identify it.  Relief. Acceptance. The sacred beast hadn’t attacked. Hadn’t interacted, but hadn’t pushed him away either. She had simply… allowed it. Allowed him. He withdrew his hand slowly, flexing his fingers and observing them until the tingling sensation faded. A faint smile - a rare, honest thing - crept across his lips, sly yet warm, victorious yet almost... humble. “Alright then,” he murmured quietly, voice sharp-edged as always but almost gentle. “I get the picture. You’re making me earn this the slow way, huh?” The sacred beast didn't react or respond. Which was a victory in itself.

[sorsaky]

Mae x Noa → Carnival of Rust |Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes| MV

You are stronger and smarter than you think

Please do not steal or claim this edit as your own! I've just completed another Noa x Mae edit that I’ve been working on for a few weeks. This might be my last Noa x Mae video for now since I’m out of ideas, haha XD.

Here’s the story behind the video: In this AU, Noa meets Mae by accident near his village. Intrigued by her, they quickly become friends. However, Noa’s father notices something strange, asking him why his blanket smells like an echo. Ignoring his father’s concerns, Noa seeks out Mae, and the two begin traveling together, growing closer as time goes on.

Meanwhile, Proximus and his apes are on the hunt for Mae. When they discover she’s traveling with an ape, both Mae and Noa are eventually captured. During their time in captivity, Mae confesses to Noa that she’s on a mission to save the humans. Noa feels betrayed and lashes out, but ultimately forgives her because of his love for her. In a confrontation with Proximus, Mae boldly declares she’ll kill him, though she’s unable to follow through. Amused by Mae’s determination and her relationship with Noa, Proximus underestimates them.

Mae and Noa manage to escape the prison. Mae finds the humans’ key in the vault and takes it to fulfill her mission, leaving Noa behind without explanation. Heartbroken and angry, Noa is left wondering why Mae didn’t trust him enough to share her plans. Months later, they reunite around a campfire. As they share stories of their time apart, Mae savors the moment, knowing they can’t stay together. The humans are preparing to attack the apes, and Mae’s frustration boils over as she shouts at Noa and runs off.

The day of the battle arrives. During the chaos, Noa is captured, but Mae rescues him. Despite saving him, Noa is deeply disappointed in her choices. As they flee together, Noa grapples with the loss of his entire clan, while Mae insists they are too different to be together. However, Noa, desperate to hold onto their connection, argues that the bond they’ve formed transcends those differences.

The rest of their story is up to you to imagine! 😊

Just to clarify, I don't support bestiality or zoophilia in real life. This edit is purely for fun and creative expression, celebrating the fantasy world these characters belong to. Shipping fictional characters is a common and enjoyable part of fandoms, and if it's acceptable for movies like "Beauty and the Beast," then it's also fine for Noa x Mae!

Program: Sony Vegas Pro 17 Song: Poets of the Fall - Carnival of Rust https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKk1u5RMTn4 Time Taken: 1 month Media: Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdr5oedn7q8 Dawn of the Planet of the Apes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpSaTrW4leg BAGHEAD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOsZq_5s-ak

planetoftheapes #kingdomoftheplanetoftheapes #noaxmae #nomae #beautyandthebeast

You can contact me here:

instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sorsaky/

"Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use."

[moonwateraura]

“Clay and Craving”

Adult Van x reader.

—————————————————————————

The front door creaked open with a soft jingle of the bell Van insisted on hanging above it—said it gave her “cozy small-town store vibes,” even though they lived in a cramped apartment above the VHS shop. Van stepped in, a little grease on her biceps from fixing the tape rewinder again, the faint scent of old plastic and lavender soap clinging to her. She kicked off her boots and looked up to see you on the living room floor, cross-legged in front of the couch, a half-formed ceramic bowl spinning between your wet fingers.

You had a movie playing-Ghost, of course. Van grinned. Of course.

“There’s my girl,” she murmured, crossing the room to plant a slow, affectionate kiss on top of your head. Her hand dragged lazily across your back before she plopped down onto the couch behind you, wide-legged, thighs spreading like she owned the entire piece of furniture and everything in front of it—including you.

Van rested her arm casually across the back of the couch, watching you with a smirk. “That for me?” she asked, nodding at the lopsided pottery you were shaping.

“Yeah,” you said without looking up, a little shy but proud. “It’s… gonna be a mug. Maybe. Kinda.”

Van chuckled low in her throat. “Come here, sweetheart.”

The way she said it—soft, smug, warm—made your body pulse like it had its own heartbeat. You looked back, only to catch the sight of her sprawled comfortably, t-shirt riding up just slightly, her thighs relaxed and open like an invitation she knew you couldn’t refuse.

Still keeping your damp, clay-covered hands behind your back, you stood and climbed onto her lap, knees pressing on either side of her hips, careful not to ruin her clothes.

“Hands?” she asked.

“Wet,” you mumbled, mouth just a breath away from hers.

Van didn’t care.

She kissed you immediately-hot, deep, and hungry. Her hands slid under your shirt like she was trying to learn you all over again, groping boldly through your clothes while your clay-streaked fingers stayed suspended awkwardly behind your back.

“I should go wash—” you tried to say against her mouth, but Van was already kissing you again, swallowing your words like they didn’t matter.

“Mhm,” she hummed, barely letting you speak.

You leaned back, just a little, trying to end it with a soft kiss, but Van wasn’t finished. Her hand slid up the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair as she pulled you in again, her lips slanting over yours in a slow, messy, possessive kiss that left you gasping.

Then she finally let go, her lips brushing your cheek as she said, low and smug:

“Go ahead, baby. Wash up. I’ll finish what I started when you get back.”

You stumbled off her lap, flushed and breathless, practically fleeing to the kitchen with clay-covered fingers and trembling legs.

Van leaned back and watched you go, grinning like she already knew you wouldn’t last five minutes without her touch again.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Overtime 15

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: your boss, Mr. Hansen, runs you ragged but you find solace in an unexpected friend.

Characters: Lloyd Hansen, Jake Jensen.

Author’s Note: This one is dedicated to my dearest @thezombieprostitute

Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

You keep your head down as you hurry through the office. You have a bag in hand, along with a tremor. You just want this day to be over. 

Before you can flee down the hallway to your fate, your name draws you back. You hide a cringe then turn to Jake. He smiles as he approaches in his Mario tie and striped button up. You push the bag behind you and chew your lip. 

“Hey, uh, I’m just...” 

“How’d it go?” He interrupts your half-baked lie. 

You sniff. Is he genuinely asking? You thought he’d hear by now. 

“Heard Hansen had a conniption but that’s to be expected. G’s not really the guy to put up with all that,” he bounces in his high-tops and tucks his hands into his khaki pockets. “So?” 

“Well, er, you know, there are other candidates so I’ll wait and hear,” you glance around evasively. “I doubt... I don’t know, I don’t really have the right experience and... Mr. Hansen--” 

“Is a jackass,” he puffs. “Don’t you want to get from him already?” 

You purse your lips and sway, “yeah, I do, but--” 

He sighs and tilts his head, “if you get it, you’re gonna take it, right? You should.” 

You inhale and let it out slowly. “I know I should--” 

“But? You’d be closer to me. Oh, and you wouldn’t miss out on all the breakroom treats anymore. Not to mention, you wouldn’t be treated like dirt--” 

“I get it, Jensen.” You snap and immediately regret it. His face pales. “Alright, I know how shitty my life is and I don’t need you to remind me. Thanks, alright, for getting me an interview. It’s much appreciated but I don’t want to be your pity project.” 

His brows knit and he frowns, “it’s not pity.” He searches your face and shakes his head. “What is it? Is it me? Hm? You think I’m lame or is it you? You get off on being like this? On being a constant victim? Is that it?” 

You blink as his words sink deep into your chest. When you think of him, you never thought of lame or weak or whatever. He is boldly and unabashedly himself. You are the lame one. 

Your nose flares and tingles, your cheeks pinching with hurt, “it’s definitely not you, Jensen.” You slump and put your chin down, “I have to get back to my desk.” 

You step around him and he says your name. He tries to grab you but you slip right through his grasp. You can’t break. Not yet. The last thing you need is to cry in front of Hansen. 

You march past your desk and down to the restroom near the conference rooms. You change quickly. Your thighs speckle at the bareness and you shove the old skirt in the bag. You come back out and toss it under your desk and sit. You rest your fists next to your keyboard and grit your teeth. You want to smash everything. 

Why are men? Why can’t you win? Hansen hates you but loves to torment you. And Jensen, he’s one of the rare men who ever took an interest, who was ever nice, and you spat in his face. You deserve his hate and you’re certain now you got it. 

Your phone beeps. It’s him. You hit the button without looking. 

“Critter. I hear you skittering around out there. Time for your performance review. Now.” 

You close your eyes as the line clicks. You tap the button again and stand slowly. You blow out between your lips and force your hands opens, your arms straight, legs stiff. You cross to his office and lightly rap your knuckles across the door. 

“In.” He demands from inside. 

You enter, nearly tripping as your thighs chafe together. You bite down on your cheeks as you swallow down your embarrassment. He can probably see every dimple, every stretch mark, and every flaw you try to hide. 

He clucks and your eyes narrow on him. He comes into focus as you seethe silently. He’s reminding you of who and what you are. 

“Not bad,” he comments on the short black tube you found to constrain your hips and ass. “Turn.” 

He swirls his fingers. You obey rigidly. Your panties are too close to peeking out. He snickers. 

“Stop,” he directs as you put your back to him, “now touch your toes.” 

You waver and crane to see him over your shoulder. 

“I didn’t tell you to look at me. Do it.” 

You put your head straight and press your hands to your thighs. Slowly, you slide your palms down and bend. You quiver at the exposure of your high-cut briefs. He laughs again. 

“No way, crit. That’s a full-blow parachute. What’re you afraid of falling up there?” His jibe at your height makes you wince. You stand up and face him. “Take ‘em off.” 

You blink and shake your head, “sir, I don’t--” 

“I said take them off.” 

You stare at him, waiting for him to chuckle again. To tell you it’s just another gag. His face is stone sober. You shudder and lower your gaze to the floor. 

You tug on the elastic around your thighs, trying not to reveal too much, and carefully roll down your panties. He purrs as you do. You recede into yourself as you bend to step out of the cotton. You straighten with the cloth bunched in your fist. 

“Bin’s right there.” 

He nods at the garbage beside his desk. You falter before you can set your feet. You cross to his desk and drop your underwear into the metal container. 

“I don’t know how I didn’t see it before,” he leans forward, leering at you. “Critter, you’re as thick as syrup.” 

You recoil and step back on your heel. Your lip curls in derision. He’s mocking you. 

“Sir--” 

“I’m just tryna imagine the sound--” He leans back and closes his eyes, a grin curving his lips as he touches his temples, “the clap that ass would make as I’m balls deep--” 

“Stop!” You exclaim. “Alright! I got it. I’m disgusting. I get it.” You snarl. “Mr. Hansen, you’ve made your point.” 

His eyes open and he snickers again. He drops his hands as he pokes his tongue into his cheek. His brows rise and he glances down at his lap. 

“You think that’s what I’m doing?” He says. “Crit, I need you to lean over this desk and have a look at the point I’m making.” 

You grimace, “what are you--” 

“I’m about to bust out my jockeys. Just as much as you’re busting out of that skirt,” he reaches to his lap and rubs, letting out a groan. “And it’s not just because I own you. Uh uh, this is all you.” 

You back away. Mr. Hansen’s always been crass. Always been nasty. You prefer his loathing to whatever this is. You’d rather be humiliated than this. You suspect you will be either way. 

“I... I need to go,” you stagger back and hurry for the door. 

You grab the handle as you hear his chair squeak. He’s fast. He catches the door and pushes it back into the frame as he pens you in from behind. 

“I didn’t dismiss you,” he breathes against your ear. “So be a good little critter and get down on your knees.” 

You push back into him with your elbow, a nudge that begs him to get away. He grabs your arm and wrenches you away from the door. He hauls you back and tosses you so you stumble. 

“Critter, you get down and crawl for me. Now.” He sneers as he blocks the door with his figure. “Don’t stop until I say so.” 

[almostwisegalaxy]

My insecure boy

Cha hyun su x reader

The night grenn home was demolished by the army and hyun su lost his memory, you chose to flee, abandoning your friends and HIM. It wasn't your choice. He advised you to leave because he believed that if you stayed with the others you'd be killed. So he packed you a bag, all the food he could find and some weapons.

"I don't know who you are anymore, but I feel you're dear to me. I promise I'll find you later, but right now you've got to get away from here.

"But what about the others? I can't leave them like this, they're waiting for us."

"If we all stay together, do you really think we'll survive? We're running out of time. Leave before the building is demolished"

So you ran away at his request, really hoping to find him later.

D+345 after monsterserification

Pov de hyun su

after yi-kyeong transformed

Eun-yoo followed her friend's monster. He had told her he was there to find the person for whom hyun su refused to succumb to monsterserification.

"If hyun su knew where she was all the time, why didn't he go and meet her sooner?"

"She's fragile right now. He thinks that by protecting her from afar, she'll be safer and more at peace".

They continued forward, chatting. Arriving in a valley far from "the city", Eun-yoo wanted to know more about this mysterious person, and frankly, the monster was getting fed up.

He raised his head to eunyoo's level and spoke to her about the spell that had created such tension when they were both in the building.

"Why are you taking so long to find out who this person is? Does knowing that he cherishes and protects this girl more than you does make your miserable human blood boil inside you? "

"No, I don't know what you're talking about." she said defensively.

"Oh, so I'm wrong. Am I also wrong that you wanted to cuddle him from the moment you saw him, that if he'd really been talking so boldly to you in that room, you'd have jumped on him? "

An argument broke out between the two. But the instant his gaze fell on her, hyun su's eyes changed from blue to their original color. It only took one look to regain possession of her body.

"She's... She gave birth..."

He knew she was carrying their children, but not that she'd given birth yet.

At that moment he hadn't listened to eun-yoo for a while. With his heart pounding, he ran to her and embraced her. But when she met the sound of his footsteps on the grass, he stopped dead in his tracks. All kinds of ideas came to mind

Will she be angry with me for leaving her all this time?

What if she doesn't want me anymore?

What if she rejected me?

What if she didn't want me around the baby? OUR child

I listened to her call me so many times, but I didn't come.

It was her voice that snapped me out of my reverie

"Hyun su? Is that you? "

Without missing a beat, he hugged her warmly, and she hugged him back. His doubts evolved.

"I'm sorry I didn't come earlier. I don't have any. I left you alone for so long to fend for yourself, I thought it was for the best but-"

"Chute, it's okay. Better late than never, right? "

They exchange a soft, passionate, loving kiss. Only the baby's chirping on his beloved's breast could stop them. Together they enter the little hut that serves as y/n's roof. The hut soon becomes their home

Yes, eun-yoo was forgotten.

[roncheg]

Part 1 Part2 Part3 Part4

Plot-bunny under cut (remember, it's just for fun!)))

thank you, dearest @rhysiana, for reading it through♥️

So,

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship DESTINY. Its never ending mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before!

A FEW SELECTIVE EPISODES:

EP#

Family drama! Mingi's parents are on board the ship by accident! The rich heir part comes to light! The marriage part comes to light too! Woo wins the betting pool!

Everything ends up alright, Mingi's parents are completely charmed by the goodest boy™ Yunho.

EP# 

Obligatory pon farr episode - with little to no drama whatsoever - Yeosang quite logically chooses the most respectable, reliable candidate with a very promising future, interplanetary diplomat Jongho, and offers to fuck nasty. They do.

Woo is devastated!! He thought they were friends! He and San would have HELPED!!! WHAT IF Jongho DIDN'T TREAT YEOSANG RIGHT?! (San is nodding his head in accord).

Yeosang calmly answers that their concerns were unfounded and Jongho is a far better marriage partner with more prospects, giving his occupation.

Jongho: MARRIAGE?!

NEXT EP

Jongho and Yeosang come to an understanding after a calm, mature discussion.

Shovel talk from Woo during the next shore leave results in another (minor) interplanetary conflict due to a broken Holy Watermelon. The crew are forced to flee for their lives from the Holy Watermelon planet, San's quick reflexes saving them at the last minute. The Captain promises to throw everyone out the airlock IF EVER AGAIN.

EP# MIRROR, MIRROR

While exploring a new planet the crew comes into contact with a strange artifact, as a result during beaming up The Captain, Mingi, Woo and Yeosang change places with their counterparts in a parallel universe (STRICTFLEET XD), where the halateez crew is on a brink of starting The Revolution (but not yet! just their crew’s dissatisfaction is on the rise)^^

In the mirrorverse:

The Captain is immediately floored by hala-Seonghwa (because he has a goateeXDD) but he keeps his cool somehow. Not for long because it so happens that hala-Captain and hala-Seonghwa are, in fact, in an long-term loving relationship.

Hala-woosan are not together though! So hala-San is brought to tears by Woo's loud demands: “Where is your ring&! where is our wedding photo&! what do you MEAN SEPARATE QUARTERS?!!!!!” (at first hala-San thinks that Woo found out about his Secret Feelings and it’s a cruel jokeTT_TT).

But thanks to LOGICAL Yeosang and level-headed hala-Jongho everything becomes clear and the mixed universe crew begins to work on a solution. With a minor hiccup - The Captain kick-starts The Revolution and hala-NCC Destiny is now on the run.

Meanwhile, in our universe:

Hala-Captain is so belligerent that Seonghwa hyposprayes him on sight.

Hala-Woo is so distressed by an overly-affectionate San and his strange insider jokes about interrogation that he barricades himself in the engineering and calms down a little only when he finds his trusty multi-hammer:3

Hala-Mingi behaves very impudently, pulling Yunho on his lap, demanding whisky right on the bridge; Seonghwa hyposprays him just as a precaution.

But thanks to LOGICAL hala-Yeosang and level-headed Jongho everything becomes clear and the mixed universe crew begins to work on a solution (minus sleeping hala-Captain and hala-Mingi))).

Both crews' efforts are fruitful - first they find a way to multiverse-Skype and then to return to their respective timelines (there was some unauthorized multiverse phone sex first, of course))).

Right after returning, The Captain very politely asks Seonghwa to never grow any facial hairXD

EP#

Seonghwa turns into a lizard.

Woo suggests true love's kiss as a remedy. The Captain, red in the face, insists that Woo likes fairy tales too much for an engineer (San wanted to suggest true love's kiss too but now is secretly glad that he didn't).

After a whole episode of careful research, experimental DNA manipulation, and a tense negotiation with unfriendly aliens (and one true love's kiss from The Captain) Seonghwa is back to his original state.

He is.so.well.rested❤️

EP#

The Captain is lost!

Due to a transporter malfunction™, a shore leave party, including The Captain, is stuck on a wild, inhospitable planet; the only way to transport everyone back is an old model of transporter in an abandoned weather station; it is operated manually (via pressing The Button). The Captain sacrifices himself and presses The Button, everyone safely materializes on the ship sans The Captain.

It's impossible to reach the planetary surface on a shuttle - there is an obligatory and convenient magnetic storm in the planet's atmosphere. 

The crew somehow finds a way to retrieve The Captain after a month of desperate attempts. He is alive and a little bit unwell; he ate bugs and drank dew drops for a month, after all.

Dirty, thin, and wild-haired, he immediately proposes marriage to Seonghwa right in front of the whole crew.

He is coldly rejected (for a week, Seonghwa is furious with him)!

After a week they are reconciled and hold a giant wedding.

San and Woo decide that they want a wedding night renewal of their own and accidentally fall on some lever in engineering. The ship goes off course but everyone is too busy celebrating to notice.

NEXT EP

The ship is in unknown space, everyone works hard to get back home; The Captain is threatening to throw everyone out the airlock.

The last scene: The ship is flying away into deep space, to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before!

There is a flag tied to the end part of the ship's hull, it reads "JUST MARRIED"!

(They are back to a known galaxy in a week; every regular member of the crew, beyond the main cast, resigns at the first stop on the next Federation planet).