#to be soooo nervous and quick to flinch around her juuuuust in case

[mr-nicegirl]

people always harp on about the effects of growing up with a 'narcissistic' mother or 'bpd mom' and how it's soooo damaging and life ruinous but even if those parents did indeed have those personality disorders at all.... i don't think they'd survive in the asylum where my mother raised me.... being raised by a single mother with ocpd is so insane and intense bc i have such a crazy respect for my mother at all times but that woman gave me the most intense form of hyper empathy/vigilance known to mankind it was not by choice or even force it was out of survival to ensure i didn't manage to fuck up royally by not tight rope walking around my extreme and neurotically intense mother at all times just in case that she snaps says something scathing and cruel and makes me cry. and proceeds to criticize me for crying bc why r u so sensitive i didn't do anything wronggg as if i haven't been under the stress of constantly toeing the line of my.mothers unbearably intense 'not at all sensitive' emotional outbursts my entire life. idk mom idk at all why im like this at all ever