#to be fair the first year I didn't end up going but it was cancelled very last minute

[writingwithciara]

blinking lights -quinn hughes-

summary: with planes grounded for the holiday due the snow storm, y/n & quinn are forced to spend christmas together. but oddly enough, neither of them seem to mind much

word count: 3.4k

pairing: quinn hughes x roommate!reader

note: i LOVE writing roommate quinn honestly

"i'm sorry mom. i won't be able to make it home this year. all flights out of vancouver are cancelled." y/n looked at the website opened on her laptop. her mom was sighing on the other end of the line. "i know. i'm sorry. but i should be able to visit in the new year. i promise."

"it's okay honey. i'm just glad that you'll be safe." her mom sighed again. "are your roommates stranded too?"

"i'm not sure. quinn left earlier to catch a flight so it's a possibility."

"well for you sake, i hope you're not alone for the holidays."

"i hope so too, mom." y/n looked up when the door opened. "gotta go, mom. quinn's home."

"okay sweetie. i'll call you tomorrow."

"alright. sounds good. love you."

as y/n hung up, quinn sat next to her on the couch.

"no luck?"

"unfortunately." y/n sighed and closed her laptop. "i'm guessing the same goes for you?"

"yeah. it kinda sucks. it's the first christmas i won't be able to see my family."

"at least neither of us will be alone this year."

"fair point." quinn chuckled and turned on the tv. "what should we watch?"

"frosty the snowman. always makes me feel better."

"got it." quinn smiled and put the movie on. he glanced around the bare apartment. "since we'll both be here for christmas, why don't we decorate? we can also combine traditions and do them together."

"i guess it beats sitting in an empty apartment. we definitely need some christmas spirit in this place."

"strongly agree. we'll go out tomorrow to get some decorations and we'll make a day of decorating and traditions."

"alright." y/n turned her attention to the tv screen. "my mom is supposed to call me tomorrow and she may want to talk to you."

"why?"

"i don't know. i suppose it's because i talk about you a lot but i think she's not sure if you're a guy or a girl. never really specified, honestly." she smiled. "i'm only telling you now so you're not completely shocked when she calls."

"alright." he smiled. "should i expect any questions?"

"she'll probably asked why i'm living with you and stuff like that."

"okay. i think i can handle it." quinn smiled.

after the movie, they both went to their rooms to get some sleep. decorating their apartment was going to be a huge task but if anyone could do it, it's y/n & quinn.

the next morning, y/n woke up early and sent her mom a text.

hey mom. i'm going shopping with quinn today and we're gonna be decorating our apartment after. i'll call you later, alright? love you <3

the second she heard quinn moving around in his room, she smiled and put on a pot of coffee. y/n watched him walk into the kitchen slowly. he smiled at her and sat at the counter.

"ready to shop for decorations today?"

"you bet." y/n smiled and poured them each a cup of coffee. she was excited to spend more time with quinn than she was used to. for the past 3 years, she had been harboring a crush on her roommate but the timing to tell him was never right. he was almost always in a relationship and his girlfriends barely liked her. they tolerated her, at best. and that was why she didn't spend a whole lot of time with him.

when the time came, quinn drove them to the seasonal store downtown. they went their separate ways once inside so they could get the decorations faster and have more time putting everything up.

while walking down the 'gifts for her' aisle, quinn saw something on the shelf that he knew y/n would love. it was so perfectly her that he just couldn't pass it up. he couldn't help the way his heart beat faster just thinking of what her reaction would be. he was so far gone for her but didn't want to risk pushing her away. especially not when she was finally spending time with him again.

it took 20 minutes to get everything and quinn insisted on paying for everything. he didn't y/n to see the gift he was getting her.

when they got home, quinn quickly hid the gift in his room, deciding he would wrap it tonight and give it to her in the morning. by the time he made it back to the living room, y/n had all the decorations sorted out in piles based on each room they were going to work on.

"so i figured you could get started in the kitchen while i worked out here. fair warning, i may need your help after."

"then why don't we work together?" he chuckled. "wouldn't that make more sense?"

"well i was going to play christmas music and when i dance, it looks weird."

"i highly doubt that." he smiled. "i've seen you dance before."

"that was always choreographed or because i was drunk. but i'm sober and don't want to make a fool of myself."

"y/n, i don't think you're capable of doing such a thing. just let me help you out here."

"alright, fine. but no judging me on my dance moves, hughes."

"i would never." quinn smiled and grabbed a box of lights. he grabbed the necessary items to get started while y/n put some music on the speaker. "wanna start on opposite ends and meet in the middle?"

"yes sir." y/n grabbed the other decorations and went across the room. halfway through the 3rd song, quinn was done hanging lights. he turned to look at y/n. she was dancing and in her own little world and quinn couldn't help but admire her more. how could she think she'd look like a fool? he thought she was beautiful and one day, he was going to get the courage to tell her.

when y/n turned around to grab something, she noticed quinn staring at her. it suddenly made her self conscious. "what?"

"nothing. i was just watching you dance."

"oh. i'm sorry about that. i told you i looked like a fool when i dance sober."

"quite the opposite actually. it was pretty cute." he chuckled and headed to the kitchen to start decorating, leaving y/n to stare with red cheeks.

it took her a minute to follow but when she finally got to the kitchen, quinn was already halfway through decorating.

"wow. you work fast." y/n smiled and instead of offering to help, she just leaned against the counter and watched him.

"yeah. sorry about that. i just couldn't help myself. i know you wanted to help with the decorating."

"no. it's perfectly fine. i like observing." y/n smirked and pulled out a mug. she poured herself some hot chocolate and sipped it while quinn went back to work. while he worked, y/n climbed onto the counter and smiled. this was the perfect way to admire quinn without feeling too guilty.

by the time quinn was finished, y/n had a mug of hot chocolate made for him. when she handed it to him, their fingers brushed against each other, causing y/n to draw her hand back quickly. the moment was interrupted when y/n's phone was ringing. she glanced down at the caller id.

"it's my mom." y/n showed him the phone and hit the 'accept' button. her moms face filled the screen in seconds. "hey mom."

"hey sweetie. how's your day?"

"it's good. quinn and i have been decorating for an hour. the place looks amazing. wanna see it?"

"in a minute. i want to meet your roommate."

y/n looked up and held the phone out to quinn. he took it and moved to stand beside y/n so they'd both be on the screen.

"hi. it's nice to finally meet you."

"oh my. you're certainly not what i was expecting."

"y/n informed me that you would say something like that." he smiled.

"how's it going, living with my baby?"

"mom!" y/n turned her face into quinn's shoulder while he chuckled.

"it's great. we're having the best time." he couldn't stop smiling. y/n's head fit perfectly in his shoulder. it was like a dream come true to have her this close. "she's amazing and probably my best friend."

"i'm glad she has such a good friend, honestly. i was so worried about her."

"you don't have to worry about her now. she's in good hands." he chuckled and threw his arm around y/n's shoulder. she grabbed the phone from him and smiled.

"alright. we gotta finish decorating. i'll talk to you later. bye mom. i love you."

"bye you guys. love you too."

after she hung up, y/n turned to quinn. "i'm your best friend, huh?"

"yeah, actually." he turned to stand across from her. "and it kind of hurt when you distanced yourself a little bit over the last 2 years. thought it was something i did. but i'm really glad you're coming back around."

"yeah i'm sorry about that. but none of your girlfriends liked me so i thought it'd be easier for your relationships if i wasn't around a whole lot."

"why didn't they like you?"

"i don't know." y/n shrugged and turned to refill her mug. "but for the record, you're my best friend too."

"glad to hear it." quinn smiled slightly before walking out to the living room. although he had just called her his best friend, he didn't like hearing the word come from her mouth.

"quinn," y/n called out after him as she followed him into the living room. "i'm never going to distance myself from you again, okay? it was hurting me too."

"i'm sorry you felt like you had to give me space. and i'm really sorry they didn't like you. i don't understand why they didn't. you're one of the most likeable people i know."

"i try to be. and i don't understand why they didn't. but it's all in the past and i've learned from my mistakes." y/n sat and looked at him. "i can never stay away from you, quinn. it'll probably kill me."

"well i'm glad you're sticking around because it would probably kill me too, if i'm being honest." he turned to face her and smiled. "so, are there any traditions you have with your family that we can do tonight?"

"my mom and i usually bake cookies and eat some random take-out while watching home alone or how the grinch stole christmas. but we don't have to do that."

"why not? it sounds like fun."

"you'd really want to bake cookies with me?" y/n's eyes widened and she couldn't help the way her smile grew.

"of course. if it makes you happy, then i'll do anything."

y/n tried to ignore the way her heart wanted to beat out of her chest. never in her life had she met a guy so willing to do anything she had asked. it took everything in her not to launch herself across the couch and kiss him. she had to keep reminding herself that they were just friends.

while they baked cookies, both of them enjoyed the closeness of the other. side by side and covered in flour. usually, quinn hated messes but with y/n, he didn't care.

when they put the cookies in the oven, quinn wiped his hands on a towel.

"i'm gonna go take a shower. you order dinner and pick out the movie. i'll be out in a bit." quinn didn't wait for her to reply. he just headed into the bathroom to shower. he spent half an hour in their and when he got out to get dressed, he realized that with his quick exit, he forgot to grab a new shirt from his room. the one he was wearing was covered in flour but luckily the rest of his clothes were fine. he put on his shorts and walked out into the hallway.

y/n looked up from the couch and watched quinn walk into his room. she only got a brief look at him but she was still speechless, regardless of having seen him without a shirt many times. she quickly turned her attention to the tv when he came walking back out to join her on the couch.

"food should be here in 10 minutes and i decided to go with home alone this year. is that okay?"

"it's perfect." quinn smiled and threw his arm around the back of the couch. the couch was big enough for at least 7 people but they were sitting on the same cushion. not close enough to be touching but close enough to feel the heat radiating off of each other. and every few seconds, quinn's thumb would rub against y/n's shoulder. but neither of them seemed to care.

when the food arrived, quinn went to grab it. and when he sat back down, he was closer to y/n than before. as they ate, y/n tried not to focus on the closeness of her best friend. it was hard but she was able to do it.

until he swung his arm back over the couch. he may as well have just placed it across her shoulder with the way his hand was resting there. as they watched the movie, quinn had moved his arm down to where it was actually resting across y/n. she looked at him with an innocent smile, which he adored, then went back to watching the rest of the movie.

when the movie was finally over, y/n stood up and stretched. "well i'm gonna get ready for bed."

"before you do, i was wondering if you wanted to take part in one of my family's traditions."

"it's not going to be something weird, is it?"

"no." he smiled. "unless you count wearing matching pajamas to bed on christmas eve."

"oh my gosh. my family does the same thing." y/n giggled. "wait, do we have matching pajamas?"

"yeah. i bought them a few days ago and was intending to give you a pair before i left for the holidays but i guess it was just meant to happen this way. be right back." quinn smiled and ran to his room. he returned seconds later with the pjs. "i hope you like them."

"they're a gift from you, quinn. i always like those." y/n smiled and headed into her room to change. quinn did the same and they managed to come out at the same time. all he could so was admire the way the clothes fit y/n perfectly. "how did you know my size?"

"because i know you." quinn chuckled, not wanting to admit it was because he stared at her so long that he memorized everything.

"you're the most perfect roommate, quinn." she smiled and threw her arms around him. "thank you."

he immediately hugged her back. "you're welcome."

"okay. well it's bed time now. i'll see you in the morning. good night quinn." y/n ran off the her room to try to get some sleep. but she knew that would be impossible, due to the overwhelming attraction she was feeling. if she didn't tell quinn soon, her emotions were going to shut her down.

as quinn sat at the desk in his room, he couldn't stop thinking about how excited y/n had been when she came out in the pjs. he had seen her happy many times but there was just something different this time.

he wrapped her gift neatly and set it down beside his bed. it was going to be the first thing he grabbed in the morning and he hoped she would love it as much as he loved her.

when the sun rose the next morning, quinn grabbed the box and headed out to the kitchen. y/n was normally a morning person so he was surprised that she hadn't woken up yet. he set the box on the counter and began making coffee. just as he was adding the finishing touches to y/n's coffee, she walked out of her room.

"good morning, quinn."

"good morning, y/n" he smiled and handed her the coffee. when she took a sip, her whole body instantly warmed up.

"this is the best coffee i've ever tasted. thank you." she grinned and continued to drink it as they both made their way onto the couch.

"so what else does your family do for christmas?"

"we stay in our pjs all day and spend time together. it's pretty boring but if you're around the right people, you can have the best time."

"well then that's exactly what we will do today." quinn smiled. "oh, before i forget, i have a present for you. close your eyes." he got off the couch and grabbed the gift from the kitchen before returning. "i hope you like it."

y/n unwrapped it carefully and opened the box. she pulled out a teddy bear with a canucks jersey on. and not just any jersey. a demko jersey. he even came with mini goalie pads and a helmet.

"i know how much you love thatcher so when i saw this, i just knew i had to get it for you."

"i love it so much. thank you, quinn." y/n set the bear down and hugged quinn. "i didn't get you anything. i'm sorry."

"it's alright. you being here is enough of a present for me." he rubbed her back and smiled. when y/n pulled back a little, her whole expression had changed. she was still happy but there were tears in her eyes.

"i appreciate that, quinn. but i feel like it's just not enough to make you truly happy."

"y/n, you're more than enough. you are the perfect gift."

y/n smiled and placed her lips on his. he was shocked at first and just as y/n was about to break the kiss, quinn pulled her closer and kissed her back. they stayed in that position for a few minutes before either one of them wanted to let go. when they separated, quinn rested his forehead against y/n's and smiled.

"if i had known that would be the outcome, i would've told you those words a long time ago." he smiled and held her face. "i've been wanting to say it for as long as i've known you but the timing was never right. you had steven and i had my own relationships. but i guess that's kind of a cowards excuse, huh?"

"nothing about you says 'coward', quinn." y/n smiled and closed her eyes. "you're the most kind, patient and sweetest man i've ever known in my life. these last 3 years of random relationships and hook-ups have all brought us to this exact moment. the moment where i can finally tell you that i've had the biggest crush on you for the past 3 years. i know it sounds insane but i like you a lot quinn. and maybe that's why your girlfriends were always jealous. they could probably tell how i felt and they didn't want me around to screw up their chances with you. that's why i had to keep a distance from you. i didn't want to have to make you choose between me and them because it would've been a losing battle for me."

"if that had ever happened, you would've won every single time. i never really cared about all those other girls. the only one that matters to me, is you. and i hope i conveyed that well enough in that kiss."

"seems pretty evident now." y/n smiled and finally opened her eyes. "guess that was kind of stupid of me, wasn't it?"

"not at all." quinn smiled. "like you said, the last 3 years of random relationships have brought us to this moment right here. the most perfect moment." he placed a kiss on her lips again but didn't give her enough time to reciprocate. "i love you, y/n. everything about you is so perfect and it's been driving me crazy for 3 years."

"i can't believe that the planes being grounded are the reason we're here together."

"me either. but i wouldn't change it for anything."

"i wouldn't either." y/n leaned up to kiss him again. "for the record, i love you too."

[natreads]

planning a trip to london for june for the third year in a row lmaaaooo

[qqueenofhades]

I don’t have any words right now for what’s happened. Where in the fuck do we go from here?

I don't know. I really, truly don't know. We can't sugarcoat how bad things are going to get, and we can't pre-emptively give into it anyway. This is going to be an unprecedented time in American history (if, sadly, not world history) and the forces conspiring to make you obey will gain much of their power from you doing so in advance, without a struggle. It seems fair to say that America as it has always been historically constituted is over, and may not return in our lifetimes, but we also do not know that for a fact. If nothing else, the fascists will find it very hard to cancel competitive elections, and we cannot sit back, throw up our hands, conclude that voting is clearly meaningless, and let them do that. There are a lot of other things that we need to do, but that's one.

There are various postmortems to be written and nits to pick, but Harris was thrown into an impossible situation and did the best she could in 100 days. Even her critics agree she ran a pretty much flawless campaign. But this country simply decided that a well-qualified black woman could not be preferred over the most manifestly and flagrantly unfit degenerate to ever occupy the office. They decided this for many reasons, not least because large swathes of the country now live in curated misinformation bubbles that, under Government Czar Musk, will only get much, much worse. They were helped by the cowardice and complicity of the "mainstream media" that could have ended Trump's career exactly like they did to Biden after the first debate, but chose to preserve the profits of their billionaire oligarch owners and did not do so, giving Trump the benefit of the doubt and normalization at every turn. They also hounded Biden relentlessly over the four years of his presidency, never reported on the good things he did, and drove him to the historically bad approval ratings lows for a president who was by any metric, quite successful (and will quite possibly be our last ordinary American president for a very long time). Along with the searingly ingrained racism and misogyny and misinformation, Harris could not overcome that.

Democrats clearly had a messaging problem, but it's also true that the country, quite simply, does not care about "democracy" when the economy is perceived to be at stake. Not to over-egg the Hitler parallels, but yeah. This is how Hitler returned to power in 1933 -- on the backs of widespread economic collapse of the Weimar Republic; voters decided they just didn't care about the overtly fascist stuff, which he then proceeded to you know, do with genocidal vigor. Except the American economy in this case was actually doing well, which makes it even more baffling and indefensible. Enough people simply memory-holed Trump's crimes (aided at every turn by SCOTUS, Mitch McConnell not convicting him after January 6, Merrick Garland being far too slow and timid, the corporate media), liked the racist fascist behavior or felt that it wasn't a dealbreaker, and decided that in this election, he was the "change" candidate. It's insane by any metric, but that's what happened.

The country is deeply sick. We do not know what will happen. It's going to get bad. Barring a miracle, we will not have federalized abortion rights again in my lifetime, and there will be widespread attacks on public health, women's rights, immigrants, transgender people, and other vulnerable people. Even and especially the ones who voted for Trump. Never Thought Leopard Would Eat My Face, etc. Alito and Thomas will swiftly step down and allow their seats to be replaced by 40-year old wingnuts hand-selected from the worst the Federalist Society has to offer. SCOTUS is gone for the next generation at least. There is very little prospect of it being ever fixed in the foreseeable future.

Trump will never face a scintilla of consequences for his previous crimes; all the open federal cases will be closed as soon as he takes office and fires Jack Smith. The best we can hope for is that he dies in office, but then we get Vance and the cadre of alt-right techno billionaires ruled directly from the Kremlin. Putin is celebrating this morning and with good reason; he's gotten everything he wants. Trump will egg on Netanyahu in Gaza and abandon Ukraine. Democracy across the world will remain even more fragile and badly under threat. Authoritarians will be empowered and American withdrawal from international systems will percolate in very dangerous ways that cannot and will not be fixed in the short run. I really hope all the leftists who celebrate this as the "defeat of the genocide candidate" will enjoy all the genocide and suffering that's about to come. And yes, I do think the Israel-Palestine war fucked us in a large way. Jewish voters perceived the Democrats as insufficiently pro-Israel due to the presence of far-left antisemitism, even as the far left attacked the Democrats relentlessly and never targeted the Republicans. Arab voters abandoned them, possibly deservedly. What would have happened without the war? We don't know. You get the historical period that you get. Netanyahu and Trump can now do anything they want. Hope it was worth it.

As I said, I can't sugarcoat it. We are going to be paying for this in some form for the next decade, and probably longer. I'm not as absolutely shattered as I was in 2016, but I am much, much angrier. We all thought, we all hoped, America was better than this. It isn't. That, however, is something that has also happened before. What we decide to do next will shape how the next chapter unfolds.

This would be a great time to stock up on needed medicines, renew your passport online, and anything else you need to do in preparation for next year. Many of us simply do not have the wherewithal, whether financial or otherwise, to leave the country. I don't know what will happen with me. I don't know what will happen to any of us. This was utterly avoidable and yet, America didn't want to avoid it. At some point, there's nothing else you can do. You can point to media cronyism, Russian influence, etc etc., but the fact that two of the most qualified presidential candidates who happened to be women have now lost to Trump twice makes it unavoidable. The virulent rightward shift of young men (of all races) in particular paints a grim picture as to how the reactionary misogyny of the 21st century is going to essentially undo most of the progress for social and gender equality in the 20th. The patriarchy has been a problem for most of human history. Doesn't really seem like it's going to change.

The end result of this, however grim: we're still here. We are still living within our communities. If (and this is a big if) Democrats can retake the House, they can put some checks on the process for the next two years. At this point, we are in full-out buying-time, trying-to-prevent-the worst mode. We could have continued fixing things, but we won't be doing that. We will only be trying to preserve ourselves and our friends and our smaller spheres of influence. It sounds very trite to say that we have to have courage, but we do. There's not much else.

It's going to be an awful winter. We have two and a half months to see this coming and know how bad it's going to be, and... yeah. I don't know how soon the buyer's remorse will inevitably set in, but it will. Tough luck, people. You voted for him. You get the country that you decide to have. But the rest of us are also here, and what Gandalf says is still true. We wish the Ring had never come to us, we wish none of this had happened, but we still have to decide what to do with the time that is given to us.

I don't have a lot more. I'll probably be logging off for a while. I don't need to look at the internet for.... yeah, a long time. (Will I do it anyway? Probably.) I don't know what else to leave you with, aside from again:

Do not obey in advance. Do not act as if everything is foreordained and set in stone. Fascist regimes end. They always do. We are going to have to figure out how, and it will suck shit, but the alternative is worse.

Take care of yourselves. I love you.

[oneforthemunny]

don't go away mad |dom!eddie x brat!reader|

prompt: your built up frustrations mixed with eddie cancelling date night leads to an issue- for the both of you.

contains: language, drinking, reader is a little mean and hateful, brat tamer! eddie, everything they do is pre-consented promise, little bit of angst/fighting, spanking with hand, fingering, hair pulling, mean!dom!eddie, rough mean sex, squirting, a little cum play maybe??? aftercare!!! MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY

You huffed, slamming the phone down on the receiver. You know it wasn't fair, that you should've tried to hear him out at least, but you were furious, fuming.

Eddie hated to not be doing something at any and all times. He was hyper, had been since he was a child, and had yet to slow down. Days where the two of you took it slow were rare, and even then, it usually ended with you tied to his bed while he fucked you relentlessly.

Eddie hated to not be doing something at any and all times. He was hyper, had been since he was a child, and had yet to slow down. Days where the two of you took it slow were rare, and even then, it usually ended with you tied to his bed while he fucked you relentlessly.

You had never minded, especially at the beginning of your relationship. Eddie was always taking you places, doing things with you, content to be by your side twenty-four-seven. Now, since you and Eddie had been together a little over two years, it felt like more of a fight for his attention. If you didn't get to him first, he was gone doing a million other things- band practice with Jeff and Gareth, going to this slasher film with Robin, helping Steve with his broken window.

There was always an invitation for you. Eddie wasn't mean, he always wanted you with him still, but sometimes you just wanted him- just him.

You'd had plans to go out, some bar in the next town over was playing a show. A new 90's type grunge, metal that you thought Eddie would enjoy. Plus, it would be just the two of you.

Until he called.

You knew instantly, from the lilt in his voice, soft and careful like he was approaching a roaring beast. He was cancelling.

"Baby, I got a gig at the Hideout." Eddie said softly. "Can't we go another night to see the band? You know how rare it is for us to get the Saturday night slot. Joey isn't even making us pay more, he just needs someone to fill in."

You were clenching the phone receiver, halfway through your hair for the night. Your lips pressed together, fuming. "Sweetheart, please? I'll make it up to you. Don't be mad at me, please?" Eddie's tone was pleading, nearly pitiful. It would've won you over if you weren't so angry.

It was when he said the phrase, "You can come too, if you want." that sent you over the edge.

You slammed your hand down on the coffee table where your phone rested. "Oh no, I don't want to crash your night, Eddie." You snapped, sarcastically.

Eddie sighed. "Babe-"

"No, Eddie. I forgot it's always what you want to fuckin' do." You hissed. "Don't worry about me. I'll figure tonight out on my own."

You slammed the phone before you could hear his response, livid. Your blood was boiling, not only at the cancellation, but so close to when you were supposed to leave. You bristled, thinking for a moment before picking up your phone, dialing your friend's number.

You ignored the busy signal, knowing it was Eddie trying to get through. "Hey," You greeted, as lightly and kind as you could when she answered. "Wanna go out tonight?"

***

You stumbled back into your apartment close to four am. Your dress was slipping off your shoulders, shoes in hand, and hair and makeup messed from the sweat of dancing all night.

You struggled to put your key in the door, swaying and fumbling until you finally turned the lock, practically falling into your entryway. "Whoopsies." You mumbled, drunk and giggly.

You crawled towards the door, shutting it and locking it, before leaning your head against the cool wood, trying to stop your spinning head.

"Are you fuckin' serious?" The voice behind you made you jump, stomach lurching in fear until you turned.

Eddie stood over you, forehead creased and angry, eyes wild and bulged. The light from the hallway illuminated his frizzy curls, finally drying from the sweat of the show.

You giggled, nasally and low. "Well, hello there, stranger." You winked, still leaning against the door. Your head lolled to the side, drunkenly, cheeks flushed and eyes glassy.

Eddie didn't smile back, eyes rolling down your figure and hardening. "You're serious?" He growled. You blinked. "You wore that fuckin' dress out? Without me around?"

You looked down at your outfit, a tight leather dress that was a bit too short and hugged every curve and slope just right. It drove Eddie wild when you wore it, but not tonight.

You shrugged, blowing air out of your lips dramatically. "I was gonna wear it with you around." You slurred, mocking him. "I wore this dress for you, but-but you didn't even show up, Eddie." You pouted at him, brows creasing comically.

Eddie's jaw grit. "Yeah, I had a show, baby, I told you." He snapped. "You coulda came tonight too instead of going and seeing some other band. Or at least called and let me know you went."

You smirked, lazy. "Yeah? Why would I do that, huh?" You snipped, teeth baring. You'd had bourbon, he could tell. Anytime you drank dark liquor, you got a touch too sloppy, too mean.

"Who'd you go with tonight?" Eddie asked, arms crossing. You shrugged dramatically, giggling when he crouched in front of you. "Hey, 'm not kidding' around with you anymore, alright? Who'd you go with?"

You smirked, giggling as you leaned in towards him, your lips practically brushing. "Just my friends." You purred, swaying so your nose bumped into his. "You know I have my own friends, right? I never get to see them 'cause-hic!-'cause I'm always doin' whatever you want. Isn't that right?" You glared at him, challenging even through your starry eyes. "Always what you fuckin' want."

Eddie felt his chest squeeze with guilt, mixing with the anger and the fear he'd felt through the night. He'd played like shit when he didn't see you in the crowd, head swirling with 'what ifs' and horrible scenarios. It only worsened when he left the Hideout, immediately after the set, not even bothering for the usually after set drink with the guys. He'd sped through the backroads of Hawkins towards your apartment, body vibrating. His heart sunk when he got to your apartment and you weren't there. Your car was, but you were nowhere to be found.

"That's not true." Eddie said defensively, your snarl and angry eyes starting to make him fluster.

"Oh?" You challenged. Even on the brink of a blackout you were quick, witty- like a lurking predator about to strike. "When was the last time we did something I wanted? Not with your little friends. When's the last time we had a date? A real date and not just a night where you order food and fuck me, huh?"

Weeks of pent up frustration was spilling out with the help of the countless Old Fashioned's you drank tonight. Eddie felt his chest constrict, trying to steel himself. You were drunk, and apart of him knew you were telling the truth, no matter how harsh the delivery.

"I ask for one night, and you can't give that to me." You snapped. "So I went out, and I had fun on my own. Me and all my friends. Just like old times."

"Hey, that's enough." Eddie snapped, pointing a finger at you. His heart was hammering, hands shaking and itching for his Camels. His head was swimming with the worst possibilities of what you did tonight.

You raised your brows, snickering at him. "Oh, tough guy, huh?" You cackled. "What're you gonna do to me, huh? Spank me and tell me I'm a bad girl." You purred, leaning forward to bite at his lip.

Eddie moved back, hands on your shoulder lightly to keep you in place. He wasn't in the mood, and he'd never play or do anything with you drunk like this. "I think you'd like that too much." Eddie muttered, standing and hoisting you up.

He helped you into your bedroom, laying you on your bed while you giggled, fighting him while he tried to get you changed, wipe your makeup off. Eddie came back from the shower, finding you asleep, on your stomach like he'd left you, out cold. You looked angelic, lips puffed out and snoring, cheeks flushed. It made Eddie's heart ache.

Eddie slid his boxers on, climbing in behind you. He knew you'd be sick in the morning. He ran a hand down your back, watching as you squirmed slightly into his touch, before turning towards the wall. Normally, he'd be clinging to you, spooning you until he was practically covering you to be so close. But not tonight.

***

You woke with a lurch, flinging the duvet and scampering clumsily towards the bathroom. You heaved into the porcelain, eyes swimming with tears and throat burning. Your head spun, pounded, and eyes blinked blearily into the mirror, cupping cool water from the faucet to rinse your mouth out.

You gripped the counter, squinting in the light of the morning- or well, afternoon. Your hair was sticky with sweat and hairspray, but your makeup had been taken off- Eddie had been there.

You had a brief, hazy memory of seeing Eddie last night, but you were too far gone to really register it. You opened your mirror, finding your Tylenol and downing two, desperate to stop the ringing in your head.

You shuffled into the living room, the sound of MTV filling the apartment. Eddie sat on the couch, remote in hand, watching the screen. He looked at you, hesitant. "Mornin'." He muttered. No 'how'd you sleep, baby?' or giggly good morning kisses.

You felt your irritation with him from the night before creep back into your bones. "Morning." You grumbled, shuffling towards the coffee pot.

Eddie watched you like he was studying you. Your little grunts, the way your brows furrowed, your lips pursed and downturned even after you drank from your steaming cup. The way you looked at him. The way you didn't look at him.

You sat in your arm chair by the window, legs curled underneath you, hand massaging your temples. Eddie's heart sank. You always sat next to him. Sometimes right next to him, head on his chest. Other times on the other end, back against the arm of the chair, toes in his lap wiggling and tracing over him.

"Um, you feel ok?" Eddie asked, fingers tapping nervously on the remote.

You looked at him with an unamused glare. "Wonderful." You said, sarcastically, eyes rolling so hard you winced. "When did you come over?" You muttered.

Eddie's jaw tightened. "Last night." He said, eyes looking at the TV and avoiding you. "You didn't answer my calls."

"Didn't want to talk to you." You snapped.

Eddie huffed. "Yeah? How 'bout now?" He asked, eyes flicking to yours. "Wanna talk to me now? Because we need to talk."

You rolled your eyes, again. Eddie ground his jaw. Normally he'd give you a look of warning and you'd straighten up, the lingering threat of what would happen if you didn't between you two. Not now.

"About what?" You sighed, annoyed.

Eddie blinked at you. "You can't just..." He shook his head. "Baby, you can't just ignore me all night and not tell me where you're going or-"

"You knew where I was going." You snapped, venom dripping in your tone. "You're just mad I didn't cancel my plans for you. I don't do that, Eddie. When I say I'm going to do something, I actually do it."

"Oh?" Eddie's eyes shot up in feigned surprise. "Really? Because I remember you saying you would always call me before you went somewhere, so I would know where you were if something happened, right?" Eddie challenged. You shrunk slightly under his gaze, cheeks flaming. "Told me that... what? Almost two years ago?"

Your chest bubbled in anger, setting your coffee mug down so hard you were surprised it didn't shatter. "Like I said," You snarled. "You knew where I was going, when I was going, because you were supposed to go." You bit, watching his face fall slightly. "Before you got a better offer." You added.

Eddie's knee bounced. "Baby, I told you I was sorry-"

"Yeah, yeah." You rolled your eyes again. "You always say you're sorry, and you'll make it up to me. Guess what, Eddie? Sex isn't always making it up to me. Sometimes I want to go out and just be us."

Eddie sighed. "Why haven't you said anything?" He asked, throwing his hands out.

"Why do I have to?" You shrilled, ignoring the throbbing in your head. "Why do I have to tell you I want to spend time with you?"

"I thought we were spending time together-"

"No, Eddie, God-" You huff, irritated. "All you ever do is hang out with your friends, and I have to tag along."

"What?" Eddie asked, defensively. "You don't like my friends? I thought you liked them!"

You gaped at him, blinking in disbelief. "You're such a fuckin' idiot, sometimes." You snapped, standing and stomping towards your room.

Eddie winced, heart sinking at your words. You were never mean like this, ever. Especially not to him.

"Hey," Eddie called, following you down the hall. You slammed the door in his face, satisfied with the way it rattled the walls. Eddie took a deep breath through his nose, opening the door. "You can't just walk away-"

"The fuck I can't." You hissed.

"Can you just talk to me like a normal person for a second?" Eddie huffed.

"I don't wanna talk to you." You spat, though it came out more petulant and pouty than you meant it to.

"Real mature." Eddie's eyes narrowed. "I'm trying to fix this, babydoll, and you actin' like a child isn't helping it."

"'M not actin' like a child." You muttered, blushing furiously down at your duvet.

You were so overwhelmed, angry, hurt from the night before. You didn't want to talk, especially when Eddie was talking to you like that. Chastising you like a baby, you hated it. You hated how it made you throb even more.

"You're not?" Eddie challenged, stepping closer to you. You shook your head, refusing to look at him. "Really? Because adults don't pout and throw a fit when they don't get their way. They talk and are civil."

"Oh, fuck off." You huffed, pushing his hand that was moving to grab your chin away. "You're such an asshole."

Eddie looked at you, scoffing slightly. "Fine, you know what, I can tell you're not gonna cooperate." He huffed, sitting on the bed beside you. "You don't want to talk like adults? Tell me your feelings without being mean and bratty? Fine." His large hands wrapped over your wrists.

Your eyes widened for a second, pulling back just slightly. "Wait-"

Eddie pulled you in one swift movement, face first over his lap, legs trapping yours. You gasped, your nose brushing with the duvet. "You wanna act like a child? I'll treat you like one." He pushed your t-shirt up, revealing your panties you'd slept in. Cheeky and high cut, pink cotton that had him drooling.

"Eddie, wait-"

You felt his palm crack down on your left cheek, stinging and hard. You yelped, back arching up, and hands pushing against the mattress when the second one hit.

"Don't you dare." Eddie growled, pulling you by your waist back onto his lap. He landed each searing swat onto your wriggling bottom, eyes trained on the way the flesh reddened, jiggling even as you clenched.

"Stop," You cried through grit teeth. You weren't going to give him the satisfaction of making you cry so easily. You wiggled against his lap, his legs trapping yours, and you knew if you reached back he'd find something to tie your hands with.

"Eddie, stop!" You huffed, face pinching as the burn on your backside built, hotter and hotter, more uncomfortable. You could feel yourself getting wetter, too, and you hoped he wouldn't see.

Then again, his erection had been building on your tummy since the first spank.

"You ready to talk now, huh?" Eddie snapped, two thundering swats to the curve of your ass making you cry out. "Ready to stop being such a little brat? Stop being so mean?"

"Yes." You whined, hips wiggling when he hit close to your center. Your thighs clenched, cry strangled in your throat. He hit the same spot two more times, tears beginning to leak out of your eyes.

"You've been awfully mean today." Eddie tutted, yanking your panties up to expose your cheeks more. He saw the wet patch in your center. "Mean to me yesterday. And I still took care of you. Didn't I?"

Your lip wobbled, sniffling. Eddie pushed your arch of your back down, making your ass raise. He alternated his hand in quick successions that left you gasping, tears running down you cheeks.

"Ungrateful, little brat. Spoiled brat." Eddie snapped. You cried out, lurching forward, propped on your forearms on the duvet. "So spoiled, aren't you? Just a little spoiled brat."

You sobbed, face falling into your arms, rubbing your nose against them to soothe the burn. Eddie smirked, he got you where he wanted now. Now that you were crying and releasing your emotions in a way that wasn't hurling insults at him.

Eddie resorted to softer and softer smacks while you cried, deep sobs that left you limp across his lap. He stopped when you calmed, your hand lifting to meet his soft smacks against your ass, wiggling your hips so they were directed towards your center.

"Feel better now, don't you baby?" Eddie cooed mockingly. "Now that you've gotten it all out, aw."

You wanted to snap at him, but you were too far gone to care, grinding down onto his zipper for friction.

Eddie tsked, finger hooking around your panties and pulling them to the side. "Now, look at this." He hummed in feigned disappointment. His fingers ran through your sopping folds, little clicks filling the room. "I don't think you learned your lesson, baby."

You sniffled, eyes still watery, but you tilted your head back when he worked through your folds, fingertips barely grazing your clit. "I did..." You said breathlessly, voice high and whiny. "I promise."

"Hm," Eddie hummed, calloused fingers, still rough from playing the night before, sinking into your sopping hole. You moaned, arching in his lap. "I hope so." His hand soothed the hot skin of your abused ass, relishing in the little bruises and handprint marks that were raised.

"Otherwise, I'll have to do this," He smacked your ass hard, sharp, leaving you gasping. "Again."

You whimpered, hips grinding into his hand. Eddie smirked. "But I don't think that'll stop you, will it?" He asked, leaning towards your ear. "Think you like it too much, don't ya?"

You nodded, eyes fluttering shut at his pace. He could feel you clench, mewls and whines getting louder until you were clamping around him, shaking and gasping.

Eddie didn't give you time to recover, pushing you off his lap. He pulled down his jeans furiously, tossing his shirt over his head. "All fours, now." Eddie barked.

You scrambled in front of him, easing onto your hands and knees on shaky limbs. Eddie slapped your ass hard, reigniting the fire on your skin. "Ass up, baby, you know how I like it."

You dropped, presenting yourself to him the way he liked, back curving and arching in just the right way that made him crazy.

Eddie didn't warn you, pushing himself in all at once. You gasped, clawing the sheets at the stretch. Eddie didn't't give you time to adjust, pulling out and slamming into you, making you gasp, lurching forward into the sheets.

Eddie fucked you with an animalistic vigor, hands gripping your waist so hard you knew he'd leave bruises. Your breath was caught in your throat, every harsh stroke of him inside you was painfully pleasurable. He was abusing your g-spot, the squelches from your pussy mixed with the smacking of his balls against you filled the room.

"This all you needed, huh, brat?" Eddie grit, teeth ground as he drilled into you at the same punishing pace. "Needed me to- ah shit- fuck you to get you to be a good girl?"

You groaned, breathlessly and stuttering, eyes rolling back and legs shaking. You felt the pressure build deep in your belly, so close from your first orgasm.

Eddie thrusted in particularly hard, upwards in an angle that had you crying out, gripping the sheets. If he wouldn't have been holding you, you were sure you would've fallen over, legs wobbly and weak.

"You gonna cum?" Eddie asked, wrapping his hand around your hair. You moaned out in response. Eddie yanked your hair up, pulling you so you were flat against his chest, arm wrapping around your torso to keep you in place. "I asked you a question."

"Please, 'm gonna- oh!- 'm gonna cum..." You rambled, eyes rolling back as you teetered closer and closer.

Eddie snaked his hand down, thumb pressing into your throbbing clit. You cried out, legs shaking and giving out as you clenched around him, leaving a puddle underneath you.

Eddie sucked a deep breath in, jagged and controlled as you came down, letting you go so you fell into the soaked sheets. He put a hand on your back, other fisting himself furiously. "Stay right there," He groaned, head rolling back. "Fuck, gonna paint your little ass with my load. Fuck."

Hot spurts fell onto your abused ass, long ropes of cum landing on the two globes, even some shooting onto your lower back. Eddie groaned, muttering non-sense to himself while he released, toes curling and skin slapping with pleasure.

You could feel his labored breathing behind you, still trying to catch your own breath, thighs trebling and shaking. Eddie's chest heaved, reaching over to smear his cum into your reddened ass, delivering a final slap that had you yelping when he connected with the sensitive skin.

You could feel the wetness of the sheets under you, but you couldn't move, too far gone to care. Eddie ran a hand down your back, your hair, comforting even after such a rough scene. You heard him pad away to the bathroom, your face half in the duvet, mind a million miles away.

You weren't sure how long Eddie was gone before he returned, pulling you up gently, walking against him towards the bathroom, one hand protectively on your hip, the other rubbing your shoulder lightly.

He got into the bath first, helping you in after him. You hisses when the warm water touched your flaming ass, Eddie whispering apologies when you sank down in front of him. He pulled you into his chest, gently rubbing your muscles until you were more aware, eyes less glazed and distant.

"Hi, pretty baby," Eddie muttered into your sweat soaked hair, feeling you melt into his touch.

"Hi," You croaked, eyes closing when you nuzzled back into him, head on his shoulder.

He tilted your chin so you'd look back at him, wet hands stroking your cheek. Then he kissed you, long and deep and loving. The kind of kiss that left you feeling gooey and warm, heart spilling over.

"You feelin' ok?" Eddie asked, stroking a hand down your arm. "I didn't... I didn't go to hard did I?"

You shook your head. "No, baby, I promise." You muttered, tucking yourself into the crook of his neck. There was a moment, a pause that passed between the two of you. Guilt from this morning and last night flooded back into your chest. "'M really sorry." You muttered, eyes rounding when you looked up at him.

Eddie looked down at you. "For what?" He pressed.

You pouted slightly, nervously trailing your hands down his inked chest, tracing the tattoo on his pec with your finger. "For... For throwin' a fit last night and today." You admitted. "For being mean and-and not telling you how I felt."

Eddie's arms tightened around your waist, pulling you closer to him in the tiny bath tub. "I just was worried about you, baby." Eddie admitted. "I don't want you to feel like I don't care about you or I don't want to spend time with you. I would be with you all the time if I could." He pressed his nose to yours, a small giggle falling from your lips.

You stayed close to him, looking up at him through half lidded eyes, hearing his heart beat in your ear, his hands on your waist. "Next time, just tell me, baby." Eddie said. "Tell me if you just want it to be us." He paused. "And I am sorry for cancelling on you. I-I should've-"

"Eddie, you couldn't turn that down. That was a big deal." You said softly. "I was just... I was frustrated and upset." You sighed. "I went with Nadia and Jordie anyways last night. They took care of me, but I should've let you know. I'm really sorry."

Eddie pressed a kiss into you, wet hand cupping the back of your head, you could feel water droplets falling down your back. "We're good, sweet girl, we're alright." Eddie said, and you felt yourself melt against him. "We'll do both better. I know we will."

You smiled, pressing soft, sweet kisses into his neck, nuzzling into his flushed skin. "And I'm gonna take you out tomorrow." Eddie muttered into your hair. "A real date. Me and you."

You hummed. "That'd be nice."

"Not just ordering food and fucking." Eddie smirked, looking down at you.

You cringed slightly, laughing against him. "I mean, I just said that in the moment." You grinned. "I would still like to go out, but... we should definitely fuck afterwards. I won't be opposed to that. If you wine and dine me properly beforehand. That's the only way I'll give it up." You teased with a little wink.

Eddie blushed, twisting his lips dramatically. "Hm, so I'll take you to the arcade and get you pizza there, and you'll let me fuck you in the van?" He said playfully. You laughed, vibrating against his chest making him grin. "Sounds like a date."

[dizzyduck44]

Good in a Crisis or just in Crisis?

Right, this may be the hardest of the post I wanted to write post-Monza. In fact I've been trying to think for two weeks how to word this without getting cancelled. I think though by using the events of the last two weekends I can give examples that can support my thoughts.

I'm going to start by being clear, if from my previous posts you think this is going to be an Oscar take down, it's not. Fair warning.

So really this starts with a story Nicole Piastri told in the Red Flag podcast. How when out with Oscar on a bike ride she ended up going over the handle bars of the bike. According to her, Oscar calmly and almost emotionlessly asked if she was ok? They get back home and find that the heart monitor he was wearing registered his heart rate through the roof and he had clearly been worried and panicing. But that was not what came across.

And there was the first lightbulb, Oscar doesn't seem to know how to convey his emotions or react in the way you would expect. There also seemed to be an obliviousness of anything beyond him and his immediate surroundings. (I’m not developing that any further, drawn your own conclusions).

Suddenly the myth of his mental strength, Kimi-esque cool doesn't read the same way. And as my brain can literally make me the foreshadowing, pessimistic prophet of doom at a kids birthday party, my gut feeling was, this won't end well.

Little did I know, I'd have to wait less than two weeks to be proven right.

McLaren arrived in Zandvoort with a Lando determined to make it clear he was going for the World Championship. We know what happened next. Lando takes pole and the win. Oscar finishes 4th. Fast forwarded to a Lando the media fell over itself for and a clearly unhappy Oscar in the media pen.

Thing is, this has been a regular situation this year. Lando has taken 4 poles and stood on the podium 10 out of 16 races. Oscar has been up there 5 times and his maiden win was questionable at best.

And then something seemingly insignificant to McLaren happened. Williams ditches Logan due to poor results. The team seemingly deciding he wasn't good enough and ended his F1 career.

Last weekend in Italy, we discovered how much all this is weighing on Oscar’s mind.

At the end of qualifying, Lando once again is on pole and as Oscar walked to the podium for personal effects he threw his gloves down. Lando had to go to him, he didn't go to congratulate Lando. Oscar was annoyed at missing pole again in his interview. You could see the frustration was simmering.

And then Sunday. Anyone who knows anything about racing knows what was in the best interest of McLaren. Finish lap 1 leading the field, build a gap, control the pace, use DRS to race each other.

No. Lando fully trusting Oscar to do the team thing and made no defence into turn 3 thinking he wouldn’t need to. Oscar, by his own later admission believed it was "his only way to win the race" and went for the lunge.

Was it a brilliant overtake? Yes though there was no defence put up.

Was it necessary? I think the only person who thought so was Oscar.

Did McLaren finish lap 1 first and second and go on to control the race? Nope.

Oscar had not reacted in the way anyone expected him to.

After the race the team and Lando called the move "aggressive", "risky" and "unexpected". Zak even had to concede it nearly resulted in Lando spinning. Oscar meanwhile didn’t seem to see anything wrong with what he had done.

They should have left Monza leading the Constructors Championship. Instead they still trail Red Bull by 8 points.

Ultimately with Max so far down the field it didn't really matter what order they finished 1-2. What mattered was finishing 1-2.

Post-race Oscar seemed annoyed and frustrated he hadn't made this win stick. He has risked so much and come away with slim pickings. The press afterwards didn’t get any better, taking swipes at Lance and refusing to address the question of team orders.

Ultimately we now know from the tyre data Oscar was never going to be able to make a 1 stop work, but Lando might have. The only person who was a safe bet was Lewis, but Mercedes were having their own WTF problems further down the pitlane. However from lap 1, Charles was chasing Oscar and Lando was having to keep up with them trying to salvage McLaren’s strategy.

The root of the problem was created on a sunny day in July, just outside of Budapest. By gifting Oscar the win in Hungary, McLaren have created a double headed monster.

You have Oscar who on reflection sees that having a teammate slow down for you (because you admit you can't catch them up) is a poor way to win a race when a championship isn't on the line. He wants to banish that hanging over his head as quickly as possible. Team orders are not going to help that. Chances are they will result in no real possibility of another win till 2025!

However, on that day your team promised you and they would help Lando to win a championship in exchange for said win.

And where does that leave Oscar. Frustrated. Unhappy and pegged as "mentally strong". What Oscar really needs right now is a Lando/Charles/Max esque rant and brutal critic of himself. You can see its all beginning to get to him.

In Hungary he took himself off the track a couple of times unprovoked. In Spa he went long in his pitbox. In Monza destroying the tyres to try and build a lead and then being too aggressive into the pitbox again. Because he doesn't let emotions out, they are beginning to effect what he could potentially achieve.

So how do we go forward. Firstly, for his sake, lets drop the mentally strong tag. Lando is mentally strong. He went through lockdown alone. He has driven through grief, tonsilitis, and a broken rib (yes really) on top of the nerves he freely admits. If he has a rant in the cockpit or berates himself after the race so be it. It’s better than carrying it round with you like luggage from race to race.

That's what I hope Oscar learns. Emotion in this sport is a good thing. The team is not going to dump you for admitting you fear being labelled as a contested one race winner. He may find they turn round and say we are sorry, in hindsight that wasn't fair for us to do to you. Tell them you want the qualifying stats to be more equal, they will help you improve. Apologise to the team that your actions in turn 3 were selfish, you thought they would work but you admit they cost the team. They will have more respect for you.

Secondly as fans, lets stop bigging up Oscar to a level he isn't at yet. Is he doing brilliantly for a second year driver? Yes, but his inexperience and immaturity is beginning to show. Lets embrace that as perfectly normal.

Oscar is very active on social media. He will have seen all the posts claiming he is better than Lando, he will win a championship before Lando. Yet the stats don't reflect that and I don't think Oscar feels that way right now. But he feels the pressure to be what the fans preach.

Oscar needs at least another year to be fully ready. It may take even more. There is no doubt he is a future world champion, but he’s still developing the arsenal of things he will need to do that. He just wants it’s all now, last week, last August was probably later than he wanted, but how he learns to emote and react to the highs and lows of F1 is going to be crucial.

After-all, his mechanics have only got so many toes between them.

[kangaracha]

QUEENMAKER | CHAPTER 4

---

pairing chan x reader

genre ninth member au, enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, coming of age, social media, cancel culture, anxiety, depression, forbidden love,

summary To JYPE, the solution is simple; take the sole trainee that will not debut with your brand new girl group, and use her to replace the missing vocalist in your male group that insisted on starting as nine.

Unfortunately, to the fans and the members themselves, it isn't that simple.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

previous | masterlist | next

---

By sheer coincidence, or maybe just rampant bad luck, you do see I.N on the way to your second dance practise of the day, lurking around by the vocal rooms at the same time as you finish a lesson.

You almost walk away, truth be told, when his back remains turned to you, busy talking to someone you don't recognise. You've barely met, apart from scattered exchanges of words (which is still more than you've exchanged with Han, who only ever seems focused on the dance or on doing something silly in another corner of the room), and it seems...awkward, to go over and grab him and not let go, as Lee Know had so eloquently put it. Rude, too, when he is still a sunbaenim, in public and in the group that you're now a part of, two years your senior even though he is younger-

It's a weird situation to be in. That reality hadn't left your mind since Taerin had pointed it out on the day you'd first received the offer; and it's only the safety of that knowledge bolstered by the...unease of turning up to dance practise and admitting that you saw him and didn't bring him that propels you down the hall, trying to catch his attention without interrupting his conversation. 

He glances over the moment that you pass by his peripheral vision, pausing midsentence to give you a small wave in greeting and then resuming what he was saying, half-turned as if you are part of the conversation. You hang back anyway, trying not to listen in as he finishes up and his friend departs, leaving you alone in the hallway.

"What's up?" he asks when the other boy is out of earshot.

A sheepish smile sets itself upon your face. "This might sound weird, but I was instructed to...drag you to dance practise, basically."

He stares at you for a second, uncomprehending, and then blanches, pulling several faces in a row. "I nearly forgot about that," he says, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, and then frowns. "Wait, is that what Lee Know hyung said?"

"Basically," you answer, and pull out your phone to show him. One eyebrow raises, a look of disdain crossing his face even as he struggles not to laugh.

"He makes it sound like I'm always late or something," he complains as you start down the hall together, shifting his bag on his shoulder for better comfort. "For the record, I've never been late."

Unbidden, a smile plays on your lips. "Never?" you dare to ask, testing the waters just a bit. 

You're pleased when he cracks a smile and a breathy laugh, unable to hide it under a straight face. "Maybe sometimes. Not as much as he wants you to think, though."

You're inclined to believe I.N, despite not knowing much of either side. While you've missed some of the boys in the first week of practise, never ending up close to each other by pure circumstance, you've spent the great majority of that time trying to follow along with Lee Know as he picks at details and mistakes and runs choreography back past the other boys - and toys with them as he pleases, straightfaced enough to make anything that comes out of his mouth sound believeable. 

And anything could come out of his mouth, any bald-faced lie he feels like telling in the moment. In practise times, he is a serious and trustworthy teacher, but as soon as the music turns off, anyone is fair game and any topic that will cause havoc amongst the people gathered in the room is preferable.

It's kind of funny, when you're standing nearby and innocently listening in. You have a feeling it's funny when it happens to you as well, but his particular kind of wit hasn't turned towards you yet. 

Lee Know is already waiting when you make it to the dance room, the music playing while he lazily marks choreography to the mirror. God's Menu, the track that's beginning to play in your dreams and your nightmares, when you find the time to have them. The bane of your existance, almost, except that the tune is horrifically catchy and the choreo is starting to make its way into your bones and at that point, it is hard to resent any of the track. 

He turns as you enter, watching the door swing open in the reflection of the mirror, and then strides across the room to pause the music. "You brought him," he says to you, pleased, as Jeongin trails in behind you, closing the door with the bump of his shoulder.

"Hyung," he says before you can say anything. "Why am I being escorted to practice now?"

"No reason," Lee Know replies, deadpan; but there's an impish look in his eyes that says otherwise, the ghost of the smile that he's hiding curving in the lines of his face. You have a feeling you've both just been the butt of some joke he's only told himself, especially when the look that Jeongin gives you behind his back is long-suffering. Perhaps you hadn't been so right about him not toying with you yet.

Dance practise runs smoothly, as it always does, although there is far less goofing around at the beginning than there is when all eight boys are here together. This is a sombre duo, you notice; Minho is sharp-eyed and precise in what he wants, but gentle in his teaching - I.N is studious in response, trying to press every little detail into his limbs in the short time given. 

You are serious about practise too, determined to get it right and trying to emulate the attitude that I.N puts forward as best you can, but...it is hard. Not the choreography so much, although it isn't easy, but the detail, the finer points that they have spent years honing while you were still scrapping for survival in the trainee rooms. They work with a practised ease, falling into a rhythm that molds to the other members that they've beaten into their bodies in the two long years they've danced with each other, but your body won't follow along so easily no matter how hard you try - always a little stiff, or a fraction slow, or too reserved when the rest are opening up. Always sticking out like a sore thumb, no matter the placement or the move.

Dancing was already a sticking point for you, an achilles heel you've worked and worked and worked to overcome, but this is...this is another thing. It's daunting, to come into this room every day and play yourself back on a video and notice the fractions of a second that pass by, the way everyone else moves around each other and you stand like a rock in the centre of their ocean, unable to follow an underwater current you weren't even made to feel.

"Bigger movements," Minho says as Chan's voice plays over the speakers, the nod of his head marking the choreography as he turns his back to the mirror and watches intently. Your kick is good, sky-high and bursting with energy, but the movement after it is quick, and then the throw-

"Bigger," Minho says again, arms reaching and pulling in example even as the music moves on. "Keep going."

You pick it back up at the prechorus, stretching for that extra movement he wants to see, trying to embed the feeling of it right down into your bones. It's hard, and it's tiring - your mind slips to something else, or your breath hitches funny in your throat, and your body wants to slip back into its old way of dancing, rather than stretching to its limits. You've always found details hard, to spot and to correct, your confidence in your own judgement lacking; unlike singing, where you were sure you knew what you were capable of and when you strayed from your goals.

The music ends with a final bow to the mirror, your mouth open and your chest heaving, the dance burning like liquid fire in your veins. You have to remind yourself to hold the pose and hide the weakness of your limbs for several seconds, a small moment you hadn't really thought to practise in the past - your eyes stray to Jeongin, taking up the spot just in front and to your right, waiting for him to break first before you relax too, shaking out your arms.

"It was good," Minho says, his voice lifting upwards in what you think is a hopeful tone. "Better than the other day."

"Still not good enough though," you reply, though you store the compliment away in the corner of your mind, pleased that he isn't saying you haven't learnt anything. Debut or not, you've always taken pride in being an excellent student, and you need that one thing to hold on to right now, when everything else is so up in the air.

"Not yet," Minho agrees readily, leaning back against the counter at the back of the room. His eyes meet yours in the mirror, the expression unreadable. "Not that it's an easy dance. Keep working on the details, and it will keep getting better."

You feel like there's an or else attached to that sentence that he isn't saying, a black cloud that hangs over you as his voice peters out and his gaze watches you thoughtfully, though what he's searching for, you don't know. All you can do is nod in response and push down the cold fear, letting his eyes drop away as he turns to say something to Jeongin that sounds much more positive than your review.

"Can we run through Top today too?" Jeongin questions when he is done, one sleeve wiping the sweat from his brow. "We're going back to that this week, aren't we?"

"Yeah," Minho confirms. "One week before we go."

"Top?" you question with a frown; the name sounds familiar, maybe from the extensive list of tracks sitting in a folder on your phone waiting to be listened to, but you can't summon any memory of the track itself off the top of your head. 

"Our Japan promotion next week," Jeongin says. "You haven't heard it yet?"

"I think I have it somewhere, but I've been focusing on the album," you reply. "You're going to Japan next week?"

"You don't have the new schedule?" Minho questions.

"No?" you reply tentatively. "Not one with Japan on it, anyway. The only thing on my schedule is dance and vocal. No one's told me anything else." Not even Chan, though he'd been...busier this week. More distant, only around for group practise and then gone again. You've seen most of the boys around by themselves, practising one thing or another, but not Chan, who seems quite happy to leave you with Minho and focus on whatever duties he had that were drawing him away. Not that you could blame him, when you were just an additional problem thrown on him right before a comeback. If you were him, you'd probably find someone else to deal with it too.

Jeongin reaches out, patting you on the shoulder sympathetically. "No one tells me anything either," he says, so serious that somehow, he circles right back around to funny. It surprises you, so much that a smile cracks across your face unbidden; which in turn makes him laugh, a short breath that swallows itself back down before it can become a proper giggle.

Minho is immune to the humor, arms crossed over his chest. He looks like he has something to say, his brow furrowed in a particular way, but all he says is, "Lets do Top," and turns to the computer again, scrolling through the tracklist. 

Jeongin turns towards the mirror, flashing you a smile as he picks a spot on the floor to begin. You shuffle out of the way before the music starts, dropping onto the couch in time with the first note and reaching for water. Minho wanders across the room in no real hurry, watching Jeongin pick up the first beats of the choreography on his own, the spaces where the other members are supposed to be around him gaping wide.

"Are you at the front for the chorus?" Minho asks over the sound of Hyunjin's voice playing through the speakers, Jeongin joining him at the side of the room as the verse plays out. 

"Yes," Jeongin replies.

"Oh, I.N-ah!" Minho crows, and then picks up the dance as Hyunjin's part ends and Seungmin begins, his voice clear and crisp as the beat behind it drops out. "Main dancer I.N-ah!"

Laughing, Jeongin follows, joining in time with the music. You watch, mesmerised as they work their way through the chorus and then back into another verse; this is obviously choreography made for a whole group, not to be done on its own, but even with the obvious gaps in the timing, it looks...cool. Fun, you're surprised to think, even though the fast, sharp movements never seem to stop and I.N obviously tires the longer it goes on, his action softening and his body starting to forget the movement that comes next, limbs hesitating a fraction too long. 

Minho oscillates between dancing and watching, eagle-eyes following every small shift in the other boy's body from start to finish. It's impressive, how much he can see at once, how there are so many timings missing with the other members and yet he knows where and when everything is supposed to hit, his brow furrowing or his head cocking to the side when something isn't quite right.

"You know what to work on for that," he says when the music ends, shrugging when Jeongin's eyes find him in the mirror. You move for him, leaning over to the computer to pause the music before the next song can start playing. 

"Everything?" Jeongin guesses wryly, pushing his hair back out of his eyes. 

"We haven't done it for a while," Minho says. "Wait until we all do it. You're going to be the only one in time."

"Because I'm at the front," Jeongin says, but he manages to smile anyway, turning away from the mirror in search of his water bottle. 

Minho is unsympathetic, following him across the room. "Well if we put you at the back, how will anyone see how cute you are?"

Jeongin twists sharply. "That's true," he says, masking the laugh that threatens to spread across his face. "You're smart, hyung."

"I know," Minho replies, and then he turns away, picking up his jacket. "Are you going home now?"

"No, I have a lesson."

"I.N-ah, are you practising everything today?" Minho's voice rises with each word, the grin on his face growing wider and wider. You lean back against the counter as you watch, amused at the way they bounce off each other as Minho pokes at his ribs and I.N laughs, skittering away out of reach. "You're so cool. You're going to be a rockstar."

"Get out of here," Jeongin says, shoving him away. 

Minho laughs, stepping towards the door, and then turning to you. "You were good today," he says; his voice light, but not uncaring. "You're going to sing next time."

"Thankyou," you say, your head dropping, unable to accept the compliment face-to-face. Someone outside catches Minho's attention in the next moment, drawing him towards the door. 

"Hey," Jeongin says before you can follow, drawing up beside you. "Give me your number, and I'll tell you when I'm in here practising."

You blink at him, your hand automatically reaching for your phone before stalling again. So far, only Minho has asked for your number, to organise times for these practises. "Are you sure?" you question. "You don't have to do that."

I.N nods, his phone already in his hand. "As your sunbae, I have to make sure Minho's teaching doesn't kill you," he says, a smile tucking itself away behind his cheek as he pretends to be completely serious. "As my elder, you should be here to make sure he doesn't kill me."

You're the first to laugh again, the sound bursting out of you unbidden at the face he makes, the specific way he intones each word. He looks pleased at your reaction, a smile lighting up his face. "Deal," you say, and you pull out your phone, tapping his number into a new contact.

TAGLIST

@kokinu09 @rainfallingfromthesky @lixie-phoria @mysweethannie @chlodavids @hanniemylovelyquokka @tfshouldidohere @lauraliisa @puppysmileseungmin @kalopsian-thoughts @puppy-minnie @readerofallthingss @dvbkie099 @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @acker-night @d-chagi @lynlyndoll @borahae-reads @ihrtlix @yienmarkk @minhwa @i2innie @jinnie-ret @conwunder

[sirfrogsworth]

Froggie's (Almost) Very Productive Day

I try to fit as many out-and-about chores as possible into a single day so I only have one set of post-exertional malaise consequences instead of consequences after each day of doing a thing. So any time I decide to drive, I try to find several tasks to accomplish all at once.

My first stop was the Family Services Division in the hopes of getting some help with grocery bills. I am making ends meet, but it seems to be getting harder each month. And maybe I could have skipped my trip to Florida and saved that money, but if I don't do something drastic for my mental health, I fear this first holiday season without a parent could send me into the darkness.

I needed to do an interview to finish applying for SNAP. I wanted to do a phone interview, but the next appointment was in January. So I went to social services where they allow walk-in appointments. I waited in a tiny plastic chair for several hours until they called my name. She yelled out "Benjamin" because when most people see "Grelle" they aren't really sure how to say it. (Rhymes with belly.)

She started my interview and it was going swimmingly at first. But then she started asking questions about the house and my inheritance and my trust. I had no idea what to tell her. It feels like a mistake now, but I have had pretty much no involvement in that process. I have no idea how it works. And I started to panic because she was acting like I was committing fraud or something by not mentioning the trust. But the entire point of the trust was to protect my benefits. Nothing is mine. I own nothing. I have no access. But I had no idea how to explain that.

Maybe my lawyer can help me apply, but I did not want them investigating everything and screwing things up before we even have the estate through probate. We specifically hired a lawyer and went through this convoluted process to make sure everything was on the up and up. But she really made me feel like I was doing something wrong. And that made me panic, which probably made me look even more guilty of something. So I just canceled everything and left.

After a few hours in a crowded government office, I decided to head to a different crowded government office.

I know I didn't need it until 2025, but I decided to go ahead and get my Real ID thingie before my first flight. I was kind of hoping they'd retake my picture because my current driver's license is... well...

And I'm so glad they took my big terrible picture and made it into a smaller, more terrible picture.

People complain about the DMV, but the one near me runs like a machine. It was filled with people and I still only had a 10 minute wait time.

I'm starting to wonder if all of those 80s comedians who were all, "What's the deal with the DMV?" were exaggerating.

Good stuff, Jerry.

I head up to the counter and ask for a Real ID. She asks for two pieces of mail and my birth certificate.

And this disappointed me a little bit.

I did my research. I went to the Real ID website and used their interactive guide to figure out exactly which documents I would need. They gave me this entire checklist and I printed it out and went through all my records and mail trying to find everything.

I had to wait a week for my internet bill to come because it's the only thing I forgot to change to paperless. This took a lot of effort and I was ready to be validated for being so prepared.

And she asks for two pieces of mail.

Any mail.

So I was off to get new tires.

Driving around on 8 year old bald tires was giving me anxiety. I didn't have the money for new tires, but I remember the guy saying they had financing. Recently several of my past debts went past the statute of limitations, and so my credit score lifted itself out of the pits of "poor" and into the realm of "fair." So I decided to take a chance and apply for a Discount Tire credit card. It's a 6 month payment plan with no interest, so that didn't feel as predatory as all the credit card offers I get in the mail with 8000% interest.

We started going through the approval process and I was answering all of the questions and then I saw the name of the bank offering the credit. It was the same bank that tried to sue me and also the bank that can longer collect due to the statute. I was worried they put me on some sort of list and would deny me. But, to my surprise, they approved me instantly. And wouldn't you know it, they gave me almost exactly the amount needed for a new set of tires.

I'm hoping we'll be doing another auction of the house stuff soon, so I plan to pay off the card and then cancel it, but this was the only solution I could come up with to drive safely until then.

I was having a weird day where photos of crusty rich wide dudes followed me everywhere I went. Here is my good ol' boy governor at the entrance to social services.

And at the tire place, I noticed this fella...

Why does every rich CEO think they are a font of wisdom capable of creating compelling quotes?

Does he think no one has ever said "work hard" and "have fun"? And after he said this was he like...

"That's gold, put that in *every* store."

"Oh, and use that picture of me where it looks like a handsome gal just grabbed my undercarriage."

He probably thinks, "Well, no one has put these specific generic platitudes together into a single mega-platitude. I am a genius."

"Be honest, work hard, have fun, be grateful, pay it forward" sounds like he had a bunch of motivational posters on his wall and started reading them all at once.

Like, every line could have a picture of an eagle above it.

In any case, the guy at the tire store, Dakota, was really nice. He made the experience very low anxiety. And he really liked my Thor's Hammer keychain with built in fidget spinner.

He went around showing it to all his coworkers. "Look, it even spins!" And they were like, "Dude, where did you get that??" And I was like, "Amazon." Now I'm just imagining 10 dudes at a tire store all fidgeting their hammers.

As nice as he was, Dakota was still a salesman and had a job to do. He gave me two tire options and tried to upsell me. The cheapest tires had a "1" rating for winter. He said they get "super hard" in the cold... I tried not to giggle. But I explained I drive about twice a month and mostly to the grocery store. If it is a bad winter day, I'll just wait or get delivery. He understood and set me up with the cheaper tires.

He then checked out my car and noticed my tire pressure sensors were dying. I keep getting a warning light on my dash. Apparently they all have tiny batteries in them that die after 7 years. And you can't just replace the batteries so you have to install brand new sensors.

And this is where my social anxiety got me into trouble.

I don't actually need these sensors. They are usually inaccurate. I prefer to test my tires with an actual gauge. But I got so caught up in his sales pitch that I agreed to replace them... at $60 each. For that I could have gotten the fancier tires. I really don't care if an orange light shows up on my dash. And I looked up the price online and a pack of 4 is $30. Though that is without installation.

But still... I wasn't thinking and he was so nice that I was just like, "I want to please Dakota. Saying no might make Dakota sad." Dakota's job is selling me but that doesn't mean I have to buy anything. He would live if I had said "no thanks."

To make my blunder more blunderous, when they finished the tires he asked for my key fob. And it decided that was the time for the battery to die. And in order to reset the system for the new tire pressure sensors, you have to press two buttons on the fob for 7 seconds. Thankfully I had a spare fob at home, but if I want my fancy new $240 sensors to work, I have to return to Dakota and have him initialize them.

I really hope these are the Cadillac of sensors.

Or, like, the ones they use on Cadillacs?

They better be accurate, is what I'm saying.

I do feel safer with new tires. So I am glad I did that. And I gave them a good obligatory kick and felt the tread. They seem nice enough even if they get boners in the winter. It's crazy how bald my other tires were in comparison. Like, I can fit half my finger down into the tread on the new ones—which did not get them super hard.

The way I drive, I probably won't wear them down. They'll probably start to rot before I do.

Before I do, meaning before I wear them down.

Not before I rot.

I am not in a rotting competition with my tires.

I was then off to Sam's. I decided all of my hard work accomplishing 2 out of 3 goals deserved some sushi. So I grabbed some California Rolls and headed home. On my way out, a Hummer and a Porsche nearly collided in the parking lot. And they sort of got stuck facing each other. One of them needed to back up and they both signaled at each other like "You back up, I'm not backing up." And it was just this weird standoff between the two douchiest looking cars you could imagine.

I mean, you have to be a douche to drive a Hummer.

I still remember the mystery Hummer dialysis patient from when my dad was going 3 time per week. We could never figure out who owned the Hummer, but we knew it was not the underpaid nurses and techs. So it had to be one of the patients. And none of them seemed the type. We never solved that mystery.

That hummer started off a delightful safety yellow. (Elon would cry.)

They decided this wasn't extra enough... so they did this...

Katrina and I could never decide... are these cow spots or the world's least effective camoflauge?

There was another patient who drove this old beater...

And I loved seeing this car because we had the same one when I was a little kid. I'm afraid the aesthetics of the 1980s Caprice Classic did not stand the test of time, but it had great sentimental appeal for me.

But this maroon beast that squeaked and sputtered its way from here to there belonged to a very sweet older gentleman. Sometimes he and my dad would be dialysis buddies—sitting next to each other in the recliners. And the worst thing about dialysis was the boredom. All you have to do is watch broadcast TV with 4 channels.

All of the TVs require headphones. They give you your own set of super cheap headphones in the dialysis welcome bag. They were very uncomfortable so I ordered my dad better ones with cushioned ear cups.

His dialysis buddy noticed them and thought they looked nice. And then he revealed that his free headphones broke and he didn't know how to get new ones. He had been watching TV with no sound for weeks. So, I bought another pair with the soft ear cups and my dad gave them to his friend. And it just made me happy imagining the two of them watching The Price is Right in matching headphones.

I do have to make fun of this sweet old man a little bit. When I walked passed his car I noticed he implemented the world's most effective anti-theft device ever created.

That's right... The Club™.

If someone decides they have to have a 40 year old car with an engine that sounds like a dying hyena and a hubcap missing... they are out of luck.

But hey, you gotta protect what is important to you. And if I needed a getaway car and my choices were between his beater and the Cow Hummer, I'd take his ride for sure.

Well, I'd try... and then get arrested because The Club™ is undefeatable.

Do NOT look that up on YouTube. It's 100% true. (And the Lock Picking Lawyer doesn't count due to him being able to break into Fort Knox with a paperclip and then doing it again to make sure it isn't a fluke.)

The dialysis center is in the same complex as my local Tolerable Schnucks and I still see that maroon boat of a car every once in a while. I always smile whenever it is there because it lets me know he is hanging in there and hopefully still has sound for his TV.

Wow, I went off on a mega-tangent.

I didn't even finish talking about my day. Where was I? Oh, the douche standoff finally ended. The Porsche Douche capitulated and backed up. Probably due to the fact the Hummer Douche has 0 visibility behind him.

When I got home I started devouring my sushi. I finally heard back from my lawyer. He submitted the last of the evidence for my appeal. And I was finally able to confirm he got the records of my ECT treatments from 20 years ago. I worked so hard to get those. At first, they forgot to send all records before 2011. I had to call back and figure that out. They shipped them and they didn't arrive until a week before we had to file. Everything was so last minute and my anxiety has been... palpable. It felt like when I did my science fair project on Sunday night.

He's hoping to get a decision at the beginning of next year. He warned me that these appeals are usually rejected. And that the most effective method of approval was a hearing in front of an administrative law judge. But that could be delayed by up to a year. So I might need to figure out how to survive until 2025. As long as my brother does what he is legally required to do, I should be okay. But counting on that also gives me palpable anxiety.

And that was my day.

Every time I go out is always an adventure.

But remember...

BE NICE. EAT YOUR VEGGIES. PET CUTE DOGS. DREAM BIG. KEEP YOUR TIRES WARM... FOR REASONS. 5 LIFE LESSONS -Froggie, Mildly Famous Internet Person

[beenbaanbuun]

Its You and Me (‘Til the End of Time)

words - 3.8k

genre - fluff

warnings - Mingyu is a cutie

To be fair, you’d been meaning to visit the place for a while. Ever since you first moved to Seoul a month ago, you and Mingyu had been trying to make plans to see each other, but for one reason or another, they always ended up getting cancelled. Usually, it was due to Mingyu having to practice late, or being called into the studio to re-record some lines, but you never minded. Mingyu was a busy guy, and it’s not like you hadn’t waited for literal years to see him; a few more days couldn’t hurt.

The two of you had still yet to set up a new time and date, and yet there you were. A mixture of excitement and anxiety bubbled within you, making the stress inside of you build to an almost unbearable level. It was impossible to stay calm in such a situation, but you were trying your hardest. You could only hope that the thread you were hanging in by stayed intact for just a little longer.

You lifted your hand up to the door once more, letting your fingers wrap against the wood before you could think about it twice. ‘Fuck,’ you thought as the sound finally reached your ears; there was no turning back now.

It was hard to hear much above the rain that hammered down against every surface surrounding you, but it was difficult to mistake the jingle of keys for anything else. You thought you’d have more than just a few seconds to gather your thoughts and decide what you were going to say, but as the door swung open, your mind went blank.

“Hello…” the man standing before you looked wary. It was understandable, you supposed. It’s not every day a stranger shows up at your home at such a time, especially not when you’re a K-pop idol. You were surprised honestly that he opened the door at such a late hour.

“Is Mingyu in?” You replied, voice wavering a little as your body shivered. The longer you stood there, the colder you felt. Especially with the door to the Seventeen dorm now wide open, almost teasing you with how homely it looked inside. Well, as homely as 13 grown men could make a place look.

The man, who you assumed to be Seungcheol, just watched you with worried eyes. With the way you stood there, tears streaming down your face and wet clothes clinging to your quaking body, he felt it was almost cruel to have this conversation on his doorstep. He could invite you in, and offer you a nice warm cup of tea and some clean clothes before continuing to interrogate you about your intentions with his member. It seemed like the humane thing to do.

But for the safety of himself and his members, he kept the conversation on the doorstep. If anything happened to his boys, he’d never stop feeling guilty. Protecting them came first, even if it meant he had to put his instincts to be a gentleman aside for a moment or two.

“Why?” He asked.

“Please,” you replied, “I just need to see him.”

“Who are you?” He countered.

“I’m a friend.” You could tell you didn't have him convinced.

“Can I have a name?” You nodded.

“Y/N.”

A sudden look of realisation fell over his face as you answered his question. Knowing that Mingyu must’ve told his group about you almost filled you with a sense of pride, and if you weren't on the verge of what seemed to be the fifth breakdown that night, you probably would’ve smiled at the thought. But with a huge ball of anxiety growing bigger and bigger in your chest, you could think of little more than getting some much-needed comfort.

“You’re Y/N?” Again, you nodded, only this time it was more desperate, “The Y/N? The one Gyu never shuts up about? I didn't even realise you were real!”

“Huh?” For just a second you were shocked out of your sadness, but Seungcheol took no notice. He ushered you into the building, closing the door once the two of you were safely inside. You were barely standing there for a second before he mumbled something about finding Mingyu and rushed off into a room that you assumed some of the other boys were sitting in. Given the way the place erupted into a mass of noise almost immediately as Seungcheol made his presence known, you guessed you were correct.

You tried not to listen to the conversation going on in the other room, simply focussing on taking off your shoes. You placed them neatly by the door alongside a pair of the biggest boots you’d ever seen in your life. It was easier said than done though; the boys were loud and even though they spoke on top of one another, the conversation was surprisingly easy to understand. Multiple questions were thrown at Seungcheol, most of which he replied to with a simple ‘later,’ before moving on to the next.

You wondered if Mingyu was in there with them, sitting amongst all his friends, having a good time. The guilt of taking him away from them, even if just for a few hours, ate at you. You almost regretted knocking on their front door, and you definitely regretted disturbing the peace at such an hour. Maybe if you hadn’t panicked like you did, you would’ve come up with a better solution than bothering your childhood friend who you hadn’t seen in years. You doubted he even cared enough about you to help you of his own accord, and you certainly didn't want to pressure him into anything. Maybe the best thing for you to do would be to put your sodden shoes back on your feet and leave quietly. You could see Mingyu another time; a time when he actually wanted to see you. Of course, you’d ask him to apologise to his members for you. It’d be the least you could do.

You bent down to grab your shoes again, wincing as you felt the cold material touch your fingertips. The thought of putting them back onto your feet - your feet that were only just starting to warm up - made you want to cry. Thinking about stepping out into the cold, rainy night was even worse. With a sigh, you blinked back the tears that threatened to fall and reached out to grab the door handle.

“Y/N?” You stopped in your tracks as your name was called. The voice was one that you recognised, and just hearing it again brought you an immeasurable amount of comfort. It was like going home after a long time and shoving your face into your favourite childhood blanket, or holding a forgotten teddy in your arms for the first time in years. It was something so distant, and yet so familiar. “Is that really you?”

Mingyu didn’t attempt to hide the worry on his face as you turned to him. He didn't see the point. Why pretend that everything was okay when it was obvious that it wasn't? After all, why else would you be standing in his home so late, dripping a puddle onto the wooden floor in the foyer? Why else would your eyes be red from all the tears you’d cried?

“Mingyu,” you whispered.

“I couldn't sleep and then I heard hyung say your name,” he explained as he closed the distance between the both of you. As he wrapped himself around you, sharing his body heat with you, you felt the thread inside of you getting weaker. “Are you okay?”

It felt like home to have him in your arms again, even if the circumstances were less than ideal.

“I don’t think I am,” you admitted, letting yourself turn to jelly in his arms. You tried desperately to hold back the fresh wave of tears that burned the back of your eyes, but as Mingyu rubbed soothing circles into your spine, it felt more and more impossible. “I’m so sorry.”

As your voice cracked, his arms tightened around you. You were thankful for that, in a way. You’d almost certainly fall to the floor if you didn't have at least some form of support to hold you in place. It was just ironic that that support came in the form of the very same man that had supported you for almost all of your childhood. Even after you spent so long apart, the two of you seemed to slip right back into the childish, unconditional love you once felt for one another and nothing felt even a centimetre out of place.

The two of you held onto one another for a while. The loud conversation from the other room soon turned into background noise as Mingyu hummed a tune into your ear. It wasn't one you recognised; perhaps it was something he was working on. And even the thought that he would share something so private with you after so many years made you feel a whole lot better.

Nothing seemed to have changed, not really anyway. Sure, the two of you were a little older but Mingyu was still the same Mingyu as before, and you were the same you.

“I won’t let you tell me you’re sorry, okay?” His lips moved against your ear as he whispered to you, “There is nothing to be sorry for.”

You hiccuped out a sob.

“I shouldn’t be here, Mingyu,” you said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. The way Mingyu’s arms held you against him with a vice-like grip let you know that he disagreed. Still, you argued your case. “We haven't seen each other in so long and you shouldn’t have to deal with this. You’re busy!”

“Not right now, I’m not.”

“But you will be tomorrow,” you argued, “and this is so stupid! I should just go.”

You tried to pull away from him, but his grip on you only tightened. It wasn’t painful, but it was firm enough to let you know that you weren't going to get away from him that easily. Not until he’d made sure you were okay, at least.

Because to say he was worried would be an understatement. It would be one thing to show up at his dorms unannounced, but to show up in the middle of the night with tears streaming down your face and your hair and clothes dripping with rain? There had to be something bigger going on and Mingyu was going to get to the bottom of it, even if it killed him.

It killed him more not to know.

Because he cared for you. Even if you hadn't seen each other in years, he still loved you. He still thought about you every single day and dreamed about you each and every night. His lockscreen was a photo that you’d sent him of you at the beach, and his favourite playlist was one that you’d made for him. You consumed his life and he wouldn’t let you leave now. Not when he knew you needed him.

It wasn't long until you gave up trying to pull away and rested your tired head on his shoulder. Your wet hair left a cold patch on his t-shirt, but he didn't even blink. If he even felt the tiniest bit cold, he knew you felt a hundred times worse.

That reminded him, you were still in your wet clothes.

“You’re going to catch a cold, you know,” he said, “and while I’d be more than happy to take care of you, I don't even want to think about how miserable you’d be. Let's get you changed, hm?”

You didn't argue as he pulled you along, up the stairs and to his bedroom that he shared with God knows who. It was obvious which side belonged to Mingyu and which side didn't. The clothes that were sprawled across the floor reminded you of his bedroom as a teenager and you couldn't help but giggle when he shot you an embarrassed smile.

You sent one back, the corners of your eyes crinkling as you followed him over to his wardrobe.

He dug through his clothing collection, occasionally stopping on the odd piece before deciding that it wasn't right and moving on. Of course, you were in no position to turn down warm, dry clothes so you would’ve taken anything Mingyu offered to you. Knowing him, though, he was searching for the softest, fluffiest pieces he owned, just like he always did when he lent you clothes.

There was a small sound of affirmation when he tugged a large brown hoodie from its hanger and placed it in your arms. It was swiftly followed by a pair of matching sweatpants and some fluffy socks that had little dogs on them. They were cute, and so utterly Mingyu that you almost wanted to tease him for them.

But before you got the chance he scurried off, mentioning something getting you something warm to drink. You called out a thank you after him and got to work taking your sodden items of clothing off.

Each of them made an unappealing schlopp sound as they hit the floor. It sent a shiver down your spine (or perhaps that was just how cold you felt) the sound entirely unappealing. Once you were changed you'd have to hang them up to dry and grab a mop to get rid of the rather large wet patch on Mingyu’s bedroom floor. There would be nothing worse than leaving him to deal with it after all of his hospitality.

Speaking of which the clothes he gave you were possibly some of the cosiest you’d ever worn. The inside of the matching sweat suit was fluffy and got to work with drying your skin a little. The coolness of your skin was soon starting to seep away into nothingness and you wrapped your arms around yourself to snuggle against the soft material. You hated to think about the cost of something like this. Probably more than you’d earn in a month and there you were, wearing it like it meant nothing.

But it did mean something. It meant a lot.

To you, at least.

“You look so cute,” Mingyu laughed as he stepped back into the room, a laptop stuck under his arm and a steaming mug in either hand. “Look at you. The sleeves are so long on you, it's adorable. I wish I could grab my phone to take a photo.”

You blushed as his soft voice rang through the room, offering compliment after compliment.

“It's not my fault your arms are freakishly long,” you shot back at him. He laughed a little more as he placed the mugs on the nightstand and his laptop on the bed. His body soon followed, flopping unceremoniously onto his mattress. He patted the spot next to him as if to invite you over.

You hesitated.

“Come on,” he said, “get your cute little self over here and into my freakishly long arms. It's been way too long since we’ve had a BFF movie night!” Your face was probably shining red right now, the effects of Mingyu’s words really hitting home.

Because as far as you could recall, your BFF movie nights had never involved cuddling on his bed. Instead, the two of you would sit together on a sofa, one blanket covering the two of you with a popcorn bowl in the middle. If Mingyu occasionally slipped his arm over your shoulder, that was his business, just like it was yours when you pretended to fall asleep with your head leaned against him.

Althoguh, the more you thought about it, the less this differed from the movie nights of the past. Instead of a sofa, it was a bed and instead of popcorn, it was hot chocolate. Mingyu was still very much the same tall, clingy teddy bear as he was back then, and you were still the same old you.

One deep breath was all it took for you to make your way over to the bed and crawl on. You sat down, a little more gracefully, next to Mingyu and peered over at the screen of the laptop. Quite frankly, you didn't care what he was putting on. You figured that being next to him was enough to bring back the nostalgia of when the two of you were young. So when he gave you a suggestion, you just hummed and waited for Mingyu to lean back against his pillows.

He did, putting an arm out to the side for you to lean on. You smiled as you rested your head against it and shuffled your body until it was flush against his. As if it were an instinct, Mingyu’s other arm snaked around your waist, pulling you even closer in. It was cosy and you were happy.

The film ticked by, neither of you paying much attention to it as you watched one another instead. There was the occasion comment passed between the two of you, although it was nothing significant. Just small talk, really. Something that you never cared for but with Mingyu it felt nice. Telling him how your life had been didn't feel forced, and you more than loved listening to him tell you about his members. By the time the film was finished, you felt as though only minutes had passed by, not a whole two hours.

But Mingyu made no move to put on another film, and you thought that perhaps the comfort and safety of the night was all coming to an end. He’d send you home, letting you know that he had to go into the studio tomorrow or something, and he’d already lost too much sleep with you there. He’d send you on your way and let you know that you’ll see each other soon, but how soon was a question that the two of you couldn't possibly know the answer to.

As sad as you were about the inevitable, you couldn't be angry, nor could you claim it was unexpected. Honestly, you were more surprised that you even got to spend these fleeting few hours with Mingyu in the first place. He opened his mouth to talk, and you waited for the words that you really did not want to hear.

“I want to ask you what happened,” he whispered, “What was bad enough that the only place you could think to come was here? To me.” He stopped for a few seconds to gather his thoughts. There were a brief couple of seconds where you could've responded to his question, but part of you knew that he didn't want you to. Not yet at least. “I'm grateful, of course. I’ve missed having you around and even if the circumstances are, well, less than favourable, I still like having you by my side.”

It was still dark in the room, even though the sun had just begun to peak over the horizon. You could just make out Mingyu’s features as he gazed at you. He was even prettier now that he’d grown into a man, even though he hadn't changed that much. His big doe eye remained, as did the permanent pout on his lips. He’d just grown into them, you supposed.

“I like being by your side.” You replied.

“That's good to know,” he said, leaning in a little closer, “because now I have you back with me, seeing you walk out that door again just feels wrong. I need to know that you’ll be coming back and I need to know when. I can't just sit and wait for the day to finally roll around, anymore.” You could feel his breath brush against your lips. His own were parted, glistening in the golden light of the dawn. “I want to know that you’re mine, Y/N.”

The words struck you like lightning.

His.

You hadn't seen him in years but somehow, all the feelings that you’d pushed deep down came shooting back, hitting you like a wrecking ball. The way your skin seemed to tingle whenever he lay a hand on you, or the way your face heated up whenever he shot a nonchalent compliment in your direction. You always doubted he knew that he was driving you crazy on a daily basis, but now you weren't so sure. He may have seemed the type to jump into things head first and face the consequences layer, but you’d never known the man to do anything without a mental pros and cons list.

“Do you ask every girl who comes to your doorstep crying to be yours?” You joked, not sure what else to say. You wanted to scream yes, but the thought of making him wait for an answer from you was a little too funny.

“Only the pretty ones,” he replied, not phased by your comment.

His, of course, had done the world of damage to you. You giggled, shying away from his gaze. It's not like he hadn't called you pretty before, but this time it had meaning behind it. No longer was it just an off-the-cuff comment that Mingyu made to boost your confidence when you were feeling a little shy.

It took you a moment to regain composure, and even longer to look him in the eyes. He wore a confident look on his face as if he already knew the answer. You cursed your lack of subtlety for making it so obvious that you wanted to be his just as badly.

“I guess I’ll have to say yes,” you whispered, “even if your timing is impeccably off.”

“Sorry about that,” he chuckled. You could tell he wasn't actually sorry at all. “I couldn't hold back now that I’d seen you again.”

You knew how he felt. The pull you felt towards him was almost unbearable.

“I’ve missed you Mingyu.”

“I’ve missed you more.”

[allyricas]

a loosely inspired imagine me & you steddie/ronance au

where steve and nancy are high school sweethearts finally tying the knot because well, it's expected. it's what you are supposed to do. get married, have some children, etc. it feels a little like the end of the world and less like the start of the rest of their lives, but hey, they'll take that secret to the grave, even from each other.

eddie and his band are playing the reception, and he's playing the music for the ceremony. he's witty, tall, handsome, a bit alternative with tattoos and has the loveliest long, curly brown hair. though, it's his big, brown doe eyes that first entrance steve.

robin is steve's best man in the wedding and best friend in life, but has been in love with nancy for years. she would never make a move on her best friend's girl, but watching nancy marry steve is heart wrenching. she wants them to be happy, but neither seem very happy at all. she hates this.

nancy and steve are comfortable and misinterpreting friendship love for romantic love. sure, there's never been a spark but that's not a real thing. they care about each other and that's enough, at least they think it is.

so when steve and eddie first lock eyes as the bridesmaids start their march down the aisle, steve has to force himself to look away from eddie. he can barely keep his gaze on nancy as the soft piano plays. she looks lovely as always, but he can tell she's uncomfortable. her mother picked out the dress.

he wants to run, he wants to stop this whole thing, has a moment of pure panic because what is he doing? why are he and nancy going through with this? why didn't he tell his parents to fuck off when they insisted he needed to ask nancy to marry him.

but their families and friends, and the money, the expectations. what was he to say, "sorry, i just saw the hottest guy i've ever seen and i think i fell in love at first glance so cancel the wedding"...yeah that is not real life. and he's not...that way. he can't be. he's marrying nancy afterall.

steve doesn't know that nancy has the same panic. that she threw up several times before finally managing to put on the wedding dress she'd have never chosen for herself. that she was tempted to make a break for it, runaway bride julia roberts style. that she can't imagine a life with steve because there's no lust, no passion, no romance- just a familial, soft affection that doesn't feel strong enough to build the life they both deserve. she loves him so much, but she's never been in love with him the way she is supposed to be.

he wants a family. she wants her career. she wants soft curves instead of hard lines and no, she has to stop thinking that way.

she sees robin and yearns for something she thinks she can never have. she knows it isn't fair to make steve into her unwitting beard, but stopping the ceremony and admitting the why of it all would be too much. if only she knew steve has the same fear. if only they'd communicated honestly for one moment in their entire sham of a relationship.

steve who foolishly thinks he can befriend eddie and that will be enough. of course, they fall madly in love. the spark he thought a fairytale thing only in movies is real. it's fireworks and butterflies and can't eat-can't sleep every single cliche possible because all he can think about his edde's eyes when he smiles or the way he smells and the way their hands fit together perfectly.

nancy and robin who spend more and more time together, but refuse to come to terms with how they feel for one another. nancy will not think about the soft brush of robin's hand against hers as they walk through the park. she will not think of robin's adorable rambling and how she squeaks whenever she's surprised or nervous. she will ignore the way she wants to lean and press her lips against hers.

cue a lot of yearning and angst and misunderstandings, but one hell of a gay happily ever after when steve and nancy eventually annul their marriage and come out of the closet.

steve who has to promise both robin and nancy that he wants them to be happy, that he's sees them together and it brings him joy not pain. nancy who has to promise steve that she's not mad he fell in love with someone else, because eddie is steve's soulmate. it's so clear that they are meant for one another. she is the one to finally admit out loud that she and steve were never in love, but that it doesn't mean they love each other any less!

just imagine the potential angst of closeted steve AND nancy both trying to fight the truth about themselves and their feelings. and then how guilty robin and eddie would feel thinking they are just a pair of homewreckers.

someone should write it.

[dazed--xx]

🌅Someone You Loved🌅

Summary: Now the day bleeds, Into nightfall; And you're not here, To get me through it all. I let my guard down; And then you pulled the rug…..I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Member: Changbin x Reader

T/W: Friend Break Up(cause romantic break ups ain't the only type that is heartbreaking), arguments, crying, heartbreak, ANGST…, swearing, yelling, sad ending, ghosting, problem avoidance, flirty behavior, mentions of one night stand, mentions of friend with benefits relationships, innuendos, brutal honesty

Word Count: 3.2K

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me. This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy. I need somebody to heal, Somebody to know, Somebody to have, Somebody to hold; It's easy to say, But it's never the same…..

“You sure you don't want me to just kick his ass?” Changing questions with a frustrated groan. You sat on your bed, shaking your head as you chuckled. “For canceling a date? Bin, that's pretty irrational….” Changing sucked his teeth as he caressed your cheek softly, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip “He canceled 10 minutes before he was supposed to pick you up. You're hotter than him and he basically stood you up. Why am I more upset about this than you are?” Changing questions in disbelief. You roll your eyes, your hand wrapping around his wrist pulling his hand from your cheek. Changing takes your hand in his, and you feel your heart race at his action.

As you look into your best friend's eyes you let out a heavy sigh “Cause I didn't expect too much from him in to begin with. We were only going on this stupid date because our parents set it up in the first place. I'm not worried about it.” Changing scoffs in response “Doesn't mean you weren't excited….” you smirk at him and wink “Is that jealousy I'm hearing?” you lean into his frame so your chests are almost touching. Changbin counters by brushing his nose over yours his hand wrapping around your waist as he pulls you into him. “You wish…” He states with a wink as he pulls away from you.

You try to fight the blush that creeps in your cheeks as you lean across your bed grabbing a throw pillow and tossing it at Changbin. “Not fair! You caught me off guard!” you whine as he catches the pillow just before it hits him in the face “Hey! Weapons is cheating! And it's not my fault you're an easy target…” Changbin smirks.

“You're an ass, why do I hang out with you?”

“Because you love me.” Changbin chides as he kisses your cheek softly. He pats your shoulder as he pulls on his jacket “But I gotta go so I'll see you later, brat. Since you were stood up go to Yaris party tonight. She won't shut up about it” You nod at his words giving him a side hug before he makes his way out of your room closing the door behind him.

As soon as you're alone you hold your cheek with a shy smile. Your face grows a bright shade of scarlet as you place your hand on your chest. Your heart races as that familiar giddy feeling fills you. Changbin had been your best friend for years now and in that time you’d grown to adore and enjoy every part of his flirtatious and kind personality. He'd always known how to make you feel special and understood; it was no surprise when you realized your feelings for him, two years ago. Not wanting to ruin your friendship you opted to crush on him silently and love him from afar. But recently, he's been way more…..excited? Forward? Interested? You weren't sure but what you did know, was he seemed brighter recently. He walked with his head held higher and his eyes shined brighter, and you felt selfish hoping you were the reason for that.

For so long, Changbin had been your rock, your support system, and your laughter; you hoped eventually things would progress into something more one day. You had been with him through relationships and hobbies, the changing of the seasons, and family events. You prayed that your involvement in his lift cemented your place in his heart. If things continued to go this well, hopefully you'd confess soon.

I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain. Now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug…….

The music blared through the speakers. A sea of sweaty bodies dancing and shoving each other as you danced with your friend, Yari. She gripped your hand as she pulled you away from the crowd and made her way toward the kitchen. You laugh enthusiastically as you shuffle around the sea of people making out or talking until you finally make it into the kitchen. Yari smiled brightly at two handsome guys, giving them bright smiles as she pulled them into tight hugs. One stood with an awkward smile as Yari kept her arms wrapped around his neck. His tall stature making her stand on her toes, the other guy chuckled as he shook his head. His plump lips wrapped around the rim of the red solo cup as he takes a sip of what you could only assume was beer. “Oh my god! You came!” Yari beams cheerfully. “Y/N this is Soobin…” she gestures to the guy she was currently clinging to then extends her left hand to the other guy “and that's Yeonjun” you smile at both the boys kindly.

Your interest is peaked when the one Yari introduced as Yeonjun blushes slightly as his plump lips curl into a charming smile. “Hey…” He greets his voice oozing confidence and charisma. Your cheeks heat up “H-hey…” you stammer shyly. You reach over to the fridge pulling out a bottle of beer. Your irritation grows when you feel someone shove into you from behind; a soft feminine voice calls from behind you “Binnie, be careful…” I turn around with confusion etched onto my features as I'm greeted by the sight of my best friend. I laugh in realization “You know I almost killed you right?” you joke. Changbin scoffs as he crosses his arms over his chest “You'd have to catch me first”

“Is that a challenge?”

“For someone that spends negative twenty minutes exercising all her life?” He prods his eyebrow raised when the same petite voice calls from beside Changbin. Only then did you notice the pixie-like girl who stood beside your best friend. She stood at what looked like a firm 5 foot 3, with a curvy build. Her cheeks were full and prominent. Her brown hair laid beautifully straight down her back. Her most distinguishable feature was the clear Heterochromia she had. Her left eye sat with a chocolate brown color but her right eye was a vibrant sapphire blue. She looked almost like something out of a video game. “You must be Y/N, Binnie talks about you all the time” She giggles as she extends her hand toward you cheerfully “I'm Im Ae-Ra” She introduces, you stare at her hand dumbfounded for a moment before taking hold of it and greeting her “Y-Yeah…I'm Y/N” you laugh awkwardly. “It's nice to meet you, though a little heads up would have been nice…” you grit as you glare at Changbin who mouths an apology. Ae-ra smiles brightly as she wraps her arm around Changbin’s waist. You stare at her in confusion.

Who was she?

Why is she all over Changbin?

Why is she calling him Binnie?

Your heart sinks as Changbin wraps his arm around her waist pulling her close as he kisses her cheek “So, Babe, this is my best friend, and Y/N this is my girl” Changbin introduces haphazardly as he grabs two beers out of the fridge behind you. You shuffle so that you're leaning on the counter; feeling jealousy bubble in your gut as you notice the hint of scarlet decorating Ae-ra’s cheeks.

His girl? What type of fuckboy—you think to yourself—when the hell?

You can't help the confused scowl on your expression as Changbin hands Ae-ra a beer; whispering something in her ear which makes her giggle. You felt your blood boil as the pair continued to flirt in front of you. Your attention is pulled away from the pair when you feel someone's arm resting on your back as their hand sits on the counter behind you. You look to the right following the arm only to come face-to-face with Yeonjun. Your eyes widen slightly as you notice his proximity. A blush forms in your cheeks as you take in his devilishly handsome looks. “Sorry, my phone is next to you..” He smirks, his voice is sultry as he leans in a little closer and your heart pounds in your chest. He gives you a flirty smile as he removes his hand from behind your back, revealing his phone now in his grasp “Yeonjun…” He introduces again “In case you didn't catch my name…” he explains with a seductive smirk.

“Y-Y/N…” you stammer.

“I know…” Your heart almost races out of your chest as he takes his thick bottom lip in between his teeth. “Yari’s friend, she disappeared with my friend Soobin shortly after introducing us” He states. You couldn't put your finger on it but something about the tone of his voice has you completely entranced. The pain you had felt previously slowly subsided as you continued to talk with Yeonjun. You couldn't feel how time moved as you and Yeonjun made your way toward the backyard through the sliding door in the kitchen. Your heart beat against your ribcage like a drum when you felt Yeonjun’s large hand encase your waist as a crowd shoves their way inside. Your hand rests on Yeonjun’s chest as he holds you against his tall slender frame. His blue hair cascading over his face as he glared at the crowd. Your mind filled with lustful sin filled thoughts as you stared up at him.

You sit on the patio bench beside Yeonjun, his left arm laying on the back of the couch around you as you two continue to talk about everything under the sun. You quickly established a connection with Yeonjun as you two laughed about the most recent drama you had both watched. Suddenly you heard the sound of the sliding glass door open and Changbin comes barreling out with Ae-ra’s hand firmly grasped in his. “There you are, brat.” Changbin cheers as he makes his way over to you “you ready to go? I can give you a ride I'm about to head out..” you stare at Changbin bewildered as you struggle to find words. “Aww, you're leaving?” Yeonjun whines with a pout. “I won't have a ride otherwise” you give him a sad smile. “I can bring you home” Yeonjun suggests as he lifts his left hand from behind you using it to play with your hair as he tilts his head flirtatiously. You bite your lip as you contemplate his offer.

“Y/N? You coming?” Changbin asks. “You can go ahead Ill make sure she gets home safe” Yeonjun states kindly to Changbin trying to wave him off. You nod enthusiastically “yeah Junnie will bring me home so you can go ahead.”

“Y/N, you've been drinking i don't think that's a good idea” Changbin argues as he glares at you and Yeonjun. “Bin, I had one drink way over an hour ago I'll be fine” you protest. Changbin’s face contorts to an expression you don't recognize as he goes to speak “But—Babe, she said she'll be fine. Let her have some fun, you said she's always cooped up at home” Ae-ra cuts Changbin’s protests off. You smile at Yeonjun as Changbin stammers to Ae-ra, Yeonjun takes your hand “Wanna get out of here?” you nod allowing him to lead you out of the party.

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to. This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you. Now, I need somebody to know, Somebody to heal, Somebody to have, Just to know how it feels. It's easy to say but it's never the same; I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape….

It had been one week since the party.

The morning after you had woken up in Yeonjun’s bed, feeling utterly embarrassed you tried to escape unnoticed. But thanks to your graceful nature you stumble while you were putting your pants on, waking the sleeping boy in the process. “Running away from potential problems is like your superpower. You know that?” Yeonjun jokes behind tired eyes recalling one of your previous conversations you had about your feelings for Changbin. If only he knew how right he truly was…. You thought to yourself as you took a sip of your coffee. You had cut off all contact with Changbin after the night of the party. You weren't exactly sure how to handle the news, especially when you had walked out of your door that Sunday and found the pair making out on Changbin’s porch. Your heart ached with pain and jealousy. How you longed to know that feeling…..to experience that kiss. The taste of those lips.

How could he?

How could he play with your heart like that?

How could he do that to you? So suddenly?

No matter how long you thought about it; it just didn't make sense to you. Hours before the party Changbin was in your room, flirting with you like he always did then, all of a sudden, he has a girlfriend? How could you have been so stupid?

A quick succession of snaps in front of your eyes pull you out of your thoughts. “Earth to Y/N?” Yeonjun pouts “I understand that you don't actually like me…but this was supposed to be a date.” His voice is filled with whines as he lays his head on your shoulder. You roll your eyes at him “We're in the school cafeteria. If that's your idea of a date then I can see why your crush doesn't notice you” you jest as you take a bite of your pizza. Yeonjun shakes his head with an amused smile “rather have her not notice me than have her dangle some boyfriend she doesn't care about in front of me” You stick your tongue out at him “Swallow your food before you act like a child” Yeonjun scolds. You swallow the food in your mouth as you roll your eyes “yes dad”

“Anyway, so what are you saying? I'm good as a Changbin placeholder in your bed but not your heart?” Yeonjun raises his eyebrow as he grips your thigh possessively. You grasp his wrist halting his movements and placing his hand back on the table. “Behave…” You warn “And you're my friend not some placeholder for Changbin. You like someone else too don't make me feel guilty about it” Yeonjun rolls his eyes as he crosses his arms over his chest “I was joking, god. You're always so serious.” He whines as the bell rings “Want me to walk you?” he asks, you decline as you gather your stuff waving him off.

You slowly trudge your way to class when you see Changbin barreling over to you. Your heart races as he gets closer and closer making your chances for escape almost zero to none. You bite the inside of your cheek as he stands in front of you. “Where the hell were you this week?” He growls, you look away from him feeling embarrassment grow in your stomach. “I was busy, sorry” you apologize half-heartedly. Changbin’s jaw clenches at your nonchalance. “Busy?! Too busy to respond to my texts?! It takes two minutes max!” He scolds. You feel yourself growing angry at his words “Yeah, I was busy. I'll text you next time, I wanted a break” You lie. Changbin’s eyebrows raise “A break? Do you think I'm stupid? You've posted literally every day! Is it because you're dating Choi Yeonjun now? Does he not want you to talk to me?”

“I'm not dating Yeonjun. There honestly doesn't need to be a reason for me to want a break, Changbin.”

“I'm your best friend! What do you mean there doesn't have to be a reason? We've spent literally every single day together since we were in kindergarten; and now all of a sudden, you just ghosted me…for a week! And you have the nerve to say you don't need a fucking reason?!” Changbin fumes. Guilt fills your stomach.

And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes; I fall into your arms. I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around. For now, the day bleeds into nightfall and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug….

You stared at him with a pitiful pout. “Bin, I'm sorry. You're right; I should explain…” you apologize. He stares you down, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes narrowed into slits as he waits for you to explain. You sigh as you stare up at him hopefully “I-I…When…Well…” you stammer, struggling to find the words. Changbin’s anger grows more and more evident as the seconds tick on. You struggled to find an explanation that doesn't put your feelings out there. “Well?” Changbin growls “I'm getting more and more pissed the longer you just stare at me with that stupid look on your face.” You look at the ground as you bite your lip “I've been avoiding you…b-because I like you, but you have Ae-ra so, I wanted to take some time to process that…” you explain breathlessly.

Changbin sat silently for a moment, his cheeks were blushed but his disapproving scowl remained. “If you would have fucking talked to me, you'd know that me and Ae-ra are nothing serious” Your eyes light up as he continues “You'd also know that I have feelings for you” Your heart pounds in your chest as butterflies fill your stomach as he speaks “But I won't do shit about it” He comments harshly. A look of horror fills your expression “Bin—No, Y/N.” he cuts you off, his tone full of a firm determination “Instead of fucking growing up and communicating with me; you avoided me and did whatever with Yeonjun. Which is so fucking petty and childish that I want nothing to do with you” You froze, you weren't prepared for him to say that.

He had never said anything like that to you before, you weren't sure how to respond. You felt tears well up in your eyes “Bin, you can't be serious…” your voice cracks as you step toward him. He takes a step back “But I am, you're ridiculously childish and I'm so tired of dealing with it. You say you like me, if you liked me then you wouldn't have just disappeared on me like that. You would have talked to me.”

“I'm sorry, you're not being fair right now” you cry.

“Were you being fair when you just abandoned me? I don't fucking care about being fair! Tell me how you feel toward me in a week and see if I'm being fucking fair or not!” He sneers as he walks away from you in frustration. You're left to stand there stunned. You laugh at the irony as tears stream down your cheeks.

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug………I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.

⏪|⏸️|⏩

Taglist: @yangbbokari @havenwithleeknow

[spiritualweapons]

Miss Missing You

Sonny Carisi x Reader WC: 974 AO3

This is my first time writing a reader fic in literally several years but this man is ruining my life and I’m here to make it everyone’s problem. This was actually going to be smut but then feelings happened and I didn't get there (lol), if anyone’s interested there will probably be a part two. Very unbeta’d and very rough don’t judge me I’m literally just a girl.

It had been nearly two weeks since you’d seen Sonny and you’d decided enough was enough.

You weren’t blameless, you’d unfortunately had your fair share of your own shit come up recently that meant you’d had to apologise on your way out of a date just a few nights ago. A sour ball of disappointment settled heavy in the pit of your stomach carrying you through the next few days and it seemed like no matter what you both did your schedules just wouldn’t line up. Sonny himself had ended up cancelling your third attempt to reschedule, voice thick with regret as he called and let you know he’d had a case come up that needed his immediate attention and instead had to spend the foreseeable future chained to his desk and whatever relevant case law he could get his hands on.

You’d only been dating for a few months, and while things had been casual for the most part you felt that the time apart was only making you realise how much you actually liked the man, leaving you with two thoughts as you set your phone down. One, you didn’t want to spend another two weeks chasing each other's voicemails and existing only on goodmorning and goodnight texts no matter how sweet they were and two, from the tone of Sonny’s voice you were sure he felt the same way.

It was with that in mind that you now found yourself standing outside of 1 Hogan Place, biting your lip as you tried to remember if Sonny had ever mentioned which floor he was on. Thankfully the security guard allowed you to fumble your way through your explanation, bag of takeout helping your cause as you mentioned you were just innocently bringing one of the ADA’s dinner. You found your way to Sonny’s office, sighing when you saw that his was the only light on this late on a Friday night. Dating someone who cared so deeply about their work was a blessing ultimately but obviously came with its drawbacks.

You took a deep breath trying to push down the panic that suddenly gripped you, that you were intruding or being a fucking weirdo just turning up out of the blue. What if he thought this was weird? What if he actually didn't want to see you at all and was just using work as a handy excuse to let things fizzle out between you both. You shifted your weight in front of his door, weighing up your options before biting your lip and knocking quietly on his door.

'Yeah?' came an uncertain reply and you pushed it open, all of the apprehension you felt melting away at the look on Sonny's face.

Shock and surprise quickly turned into a wide disarming smile, the same one that had made you very quickly fall for him in the first place and had you relaxing against the doorway now, relieved at finally being able to see each other after a monumentally shitty week.

"Oh man, are you a sight for sore eyes?" he said, sitting back in his chair and looking at you for a moment before jumping up and hurrying over to you, placing hands on either side of your face to kiss you softly. You felt a telltale swoop low in your stomach as you pulled away feeling pleased. ‘Not that I’m not happy as hell to see you but what are you doing here?’ He led you into the room, closing the door behind you.

You held out the plastic bag in his direction, ‘I know you’re too busy to leave the office but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have dinner together?’ You watched nervously as he looked at the bag and back to you, feeling that unease spread again, your face feeling suddenly very warm, ‘Uh but if you are too busy I can just leave this here and go I don’t want to get in the way it’s just-‘ you stopped at his raised hand, watching warily as he grabbed the bag from you and placed it gently on his desk.

When he turned back to you his eyes looked so bright and happy it near knocked the breath out of your chest. He moved in front of you, grabbing your face again and kissing you so tenderly you felt yourself sigh into his mouth, the tense part of you that was desperately missing him uncurling slowly with every brush of his lips and tongue. He pulled back, huffing a laugh and rubbing your cheek with his thumb, ‘I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately.’

You shook your head, ‘Hey I’ve had my own stuff to deal with, I just missed seeing you’ you said by way of explanation, ‘I’m not above taking the subway for you.’

‘Wow how lucky am I?' Sonny looked at you for a moment and you could swear his eyes actually twinkled, 'You didn’t have to come all this way but I’m not gonna pretend like I’m not happy about it.’

Leaning up on your tippy toes you pressed another brief kiss to his lips before turning to the desk, pulling containers out of the plastic bag, ‘Well I don’t know about you but I’m starving, I got a little bit of everything’ you took a seat at his desk, grinning as he sat down in front of you, ��And I’ve been dying to tell you about my week, you’ll never guess what happened at work.’

‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.’ He muttered, taking a bite of food with a satisfied sigh.

‘Don’t make promises your ass can’t keep Counselor.’ you said, sending him a quick smirk.

The look he gave you in return was a promise that while you'd bought dinner he was definitely going to bring dessert.

[agrlsname]

FIVE FAVE FICS

Thank you for the tag, @khorazir! It was weird that I got this notification from you the literal moment I was creating an AO3 draft for the fic I'm gifting you... Anyway, nearly impossible task, but here we go!

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

The Sky is Full of Fiddles (25k, T)

It's 1895 in the heart of Swedish folk music and dance. During certain weekends, boys are allowed to visit girls at night, wooing them with fantastical poems. If a girl lets a boy into her room they can share a bed all night, fully clothed, to talk and eat caramels together.

John is seventeen and looking for a girl to marry like everyone else. He's very surprised when another boy suddenly stands outside his door, wanting to share his bed…

THE SEQUEL'S FIRST CHAPTER WAS POSTED TODAY!! I give you A Fair-Weather-Night as a bonus

Who I Really Am (13k, T)

You don't tend to give up your heterosexual privilege without a fight.

John's journey to discovering and accepting his bisexuality.

Your Daughter (9k, G)

Five times Sherlock held John's baby and one time he held John.

John didn't forgive Mary for shooting Sherlock, so the end of HLV didn't happen. When the baby comes John lives with Sherlock at Baker Street, and they take care of the newborn together. Sherlock adores her more than he's prepared for. Oh, and he might have something important to confess to John...

The Zebra Sheets (13k, M)

Sherlock is back from the dead and he's exhausted. So is John. They go on a holiday to a faraway cottage and unexpected truths are revealed.

Coldness/Heat (3k, E)

The inn is booked up on New Year's Eve. The train home is cancelled because of the snow. The only option is to sleep in the non-heated guest room of a client, and John and Sherlock are freezing.

You know where this is going.

Surprised myself by throwing my first PWP in there, and not the fic that made my name... suppose my personal top five-list changes constantly.

And since I'm barely ever on tumblr I have no clue who's already done this, so... feel free to copy this if you haven't!

[ladykailitha]

Fair warning this isn't my usual sandbox (giggles at the pun, sorry), but I feel the need to address something that has been getting on my nerves about the new series on Netflix Dead Boy Detectives.

That everyone is comparing it to Lockwood & Co.

Similar gets tossed around. A LOT.

And I think that comes from the fact that people are only familiar with one or the other and not both.

They see ghosts in England with trio of young teenagers, two boys and a girl and think "they're the same!"

Only that's where similarities end.

Lockwood & Co. is about a trio of ghost hunters operating illegally because they don't have an adult supervisor. They are all mediums of a sort (from what I gathered watching the show) and they can all see ghosts. Only the girl, Lucy can hear ghosts. Anthony and Georgie have only had the agency for about a year and are struggling.

Dead Boy Detectives is about two ghosts Edwin and Charles and their psychic friend, Crystal. The two boys have been together since Charles died in 1989 and are currently avoiding Death, Dream's (The Sandman) sister. Their goal is help ghosts move on, to solve their deaths so that they can be at peace.

Like Lockwood & Co. would hunt the Dead Boy Detectives, because that's what they do. Edwin and Charles would find them barbaric.

The Dead Boy Detectives actually like each other. Granted they have been together far longer then Lockwood & Co, thirty years to Anthony and Georgie's single year. Lockwood & Co. spend the entire first season (which adapted two books) lying to each other, talking bad about each other behind their backs and to their faces, and wouldn't trust the others as far as they can throw them.

But we keep being told in the series that they are the best agency because of the power of friendship. You're also basically shown any adult who tries to befriend any of them is the bad guy. And yes, I'm including Inspector Barnes in that.

While there are a couple of adults in DBD who aren't as they seem, but they do have two adults they can rely on on, Tragic Mick and Jenny the butcher.

Lockwood & Co. was canceled on Jan. 27th 2023 and Netflix picked up The Dead Boy Detectives (which was picked up originally by Max in April 2020 but they ultimately passed on it) on Feb. 24th 2023. Almost a whole month after the previous series was cancelled.

Plus anyone saying Netflix cancelled something because it was like something else, has never watched Netflix.

Their favorite thing to do is "Oh this popular? Here's twenty copies of that thing!"

I don't know what kind of numbers Lockwood & Co. got but in my opinion, the show wasn't that great. Plus as someone with photosensitive epilepsy let me tell you the bad lighting plus the ultra bright ghosts caused more than one headache.

They didn't set up the characters well, we got told more than we were shown, and there didn't seem to be any chemistry between the leads.

One thing in particular I wasn't a fan of was having the series backstory play out in the opening credits and if you blinked or looked away or even skipped them the plot doesn't make any sense.

But with DBD you have characters talking out their problems. You have their backstories told through clever flashbacks and even some spectacular animation. You have a moment between the two boys (which I won't spoil) that not only cements how much they care about each other. That despite everything they've been through, the jealousy of the other's interactions with the new people they meet, the fights, the terrifying cases they take, the people out to separate them, they are 100% it for each other (at the moment platonically though that could change).

This show has heart and charm and properly well-thought out villains and villainous characters.

They aren't the same and they really shouldn't be compared. Also... go watch Dead Boy Detectives. I really REALLY want to see Desire make an appearance!

[kookies2000]

Ok, let's get caught up on Disney stuff and how their 100th year has been doing.

• Strange World loses money.

• Lightyear loses money.

• They cancel the Owl House, one of their most popular shows and biggest money maker.

• The let James Gunn go. The same guy that created GOTG. One of the biggest hero films in Marvel.

• Ant Man 3 under performs. Needed 560 million to make a profit.

• The Little Mermaid under performs. Needed 560 million to make a profit.

• Elemental under performs. Didn't deserve to, by the way. Marketing just sucked.

• Indiana Jones under performs, loses money. Literally needs 600 million to break even.

• Nimona gets released and reveals Disney's homophobic side.

• Haunted Mansion is going against the Barbie Movie. So good luck.

• And now the strike is going on. Bob Iger is refusing to compromise with them.

Man, "Wish" better be one hell of a movie to restart the Disney company on a good role. And even then, Wish has competition with Trolls 3. Which seems silly to some, but take a look at how big the Trolls fandom is. How many fan fics do we have on AO3? It's a pretty fair amount, bigger than Puss in Boots. And most of us are adults. That's not counting the kids who watched the first Trolls film on Netflix so much it's on the top 10. As for the 2nd film being released when theaters were closed due to Covid.

The 2nd film did well enough during a pandemic to gain a 3rd film.

So it is genuine competition since Trolls has a fandom behind them. Am I expecting Trolls to destroy Wish. Hell no! If anything, I'm expecting both films to do average. 200 to 300 million each. What I'm saying is "Wish" needs to be this grand finally in order to let Disney rest easy for a while. But Trolls 3 will be an obstacle.

The two golden moments Disney had were The Owl House season 3 finally. And Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3, ending with a bang.

[bi-bard]

Taylor Swift Songs That Would Describe a Relationship with Evan "Buck" Buckley - Evan "Buck" Buckley Imagine [9-1-1]

Title: Taylor Swift Songs That Would Describe a Relationship with Evan "Buck" Buckley

Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley X Reader

Word Count: 1,556 words

Warning(s): mention of bad parents/past heartbreak

Author's Note: I had a chunk of this written before I decided to write this in the format that it's currently in. You can find that under 'Lover'.

**Not intentionally written in chronological order**

-------------------

Lover

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January This is our place, we make the rules And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

Buck and I moving in together was a big move.

A move that he and I had both spent our fair share of time worrying about.

However, it seemed like every person seemed convinced that it was always a question of when and not if.

I only truly agreed when I placed the last of our stuff down on the floor of our new place. I looked over at Buck, standing in the kitchen area, surrounded by a variety of boxes and it all clicked.

This was it.

This was exactly what I wanted. What I needed.

Almost as soon as we were unpacked, there were plans for a housewarming party. I spent the whole day before making sure that everything was ready while Buck was on his shift.

And then, that morning happened.

I woke up after Buck.

He had his arm wrapped around my torso. He was almost laying on me when I woke up enough to properly look at him.

"Morning," I said, grinning at how he was already staring at me.

"Morning," he replied, leaning forward to press his lips to mine. "Ready for today?"

"Doesn't feel like it," I admitted. "It all still feels a little surreal."

He nodded as he leaned closer to me. "Tell me about it."

"I have an idea," I muttered as Buck hid his face in my neck.

"What is that," he asked.

"We cancel..."

He started chuckling immediately. I started chuckling too, but I tried to keep talking.

"Hear me out! We cancel the party and spend the day in bed," I explained. "I am prepared to make it worth your while."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Is that right?"

The tone in his voice immediately let me know that I had made a very poor choice in my wording. "I have made a mistake... I didn't mean... I meant that I was going to make those pancakes that you like."

"Oh," he mumbled. "Yeah, I completely misread that."

"I kinda figured that one out," I replied.

There was a long pause before Buck spoke up again, "We can't just cancel-"

"Why not," I whined, tilting my head back like a grumpy child.

"Because you went through all that work yesterday," he leaned to peck my lips between every few words, "with the cooking... and cleaning... and unpacking... what kind of partner... would I be... if I let you... not see the result of efforts?"

"You can't just kiss me as a distraction so you get your way," I muttered.

"Oh, it's not me getting my way," he chuckled. "I would never choose a party over spending all day in bed with you. I am saving us the consequences of us canceling last minute."

"Is there someone that would be angry?"

"There are many people who would never let me hear the end of it."

I slowly nodded. "Fine."

"Good."

"You're making the bed this morning. I earned the first shower."

"Deal," he leaned down and kissed me gently. "God, I love you."

"I love you too," I said as my fingers found their place in the hair on the back of his head.

I could imagine spending forever just like this.

long story short

Pushed from the precipice Clung to the nearest lips Long story short, it was the wrong guy Now I'm all about you

I had never been in a place as tense as my car when I pulled up to Buck's place.

Neither one of us made an effort to move or speak or anything. We both sat in silence, existing uncomfortably.

It had been that way through the whole drive.

Buck's parents had insisted on meeting me. I knew about them. I knew everything about them. Buck had told me everything in a hushed voice as we laid in bed together. I don't think I had held him as tightly as I did on the first night that he started to truly open up to me.

When they had made their "offer", which was more like a demand than anything else, I told Buck that I would take his lead. If he didn't want to meet with them, then that would be fine with me. I had no interest in forcing anything.

He decided to try. In the end, we all want our parents to accept and love us. Even when we know that they aren't capable of it.

It took me a while to finally take a deep breath and speak up, "We don't need to talk about it if you don't want to. But, I need you to know-"

"I get it," he cut me off. I furrowed my eyebrows. He looked at me. "After hearing it all from them, you're realizing that all of this was a mistake. I get it."

"That's not what I was going to say at all," I replied. "I was going to say that we don't have to talk about it, but I need you to know that I am here. I... I don't care about what those people had to say. At all. Because I trust you."

He looked away again, jaw clenched.

I reached over and turned his face back to mine. My heart broke at the sight of tears filling his eyes. "You have never given me one reason to not completely trust you. I think you're amazing, Buck. I can see who you became despite those people and whatever else has happened in your past. I see a man who is so unbelievably kind and loving and has made me feel more special than I ever thought that I deserved."

I caught one of his tears with my thumb.

I took another deep breath, "I love you, Buck. I really fucking love you and I will continue repeating it as many times as you want to hear it."

I hadn't said it out loud yet. But I thought about it every day. Every time I woke up next to him or when he texted me or when he would look at me with that smug grin on his face. I had known that I loved him long before I could force the words off of my tongue.

He reached up and grabbed my hand, moving to kiss my palm. I grinned at him.

"I love you too," he muttered.

I leaned over the center console and pressed my lips to his.

He was truly everything to me. And I had no plans to let him go. No matter what.

Begin Again

And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did I've been spending the last eight months Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end But on a Wednesday in a café, I watched it begin again

I had met Buck a few times before we ended up going to dinner together.

I wish I knew who encouraged him to ask me out. I really wanted to thank them.

I expected it to be awkward when we first sat down, but it wasn't. It was like our conversation was on autopilot. Talking with Buck was just so natural.

We laughed and told stories like we had done it a million times before.

It was a connection that I had longed for throughout so much of my life. It all felt like a Disney movie. It may not have been love at first sight, but it was close.

In the middle of our conversation, I caught Buck seeming kind of lost in thought. He was just kind of staring at me.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Are you okay?"

Buck blinked a few times. "Uh, yeah, yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, sorry," he chuckled, looking down for a moment.

We continued our conversation like the moment hadn't happened. I couldn't stop thinking about it. The look alone had made me nervous. Not in an uncomfortable way, but in a way that made me realize that this date may have been a bigger moment than I would ever fully know.

I didn't see that same look on Buck's face until much later that night. We were walking back to my car. I had started rambling about something that my parents used to do all the time.

I noticed the look when I turned to look at him as we made it to my car.

My words stopped as I felt my face warming up. "Sorry, I... I kind of started rambling there."

He blinked a few times just like he had earlier. "No, no... it's... it's fine."

"Okay," I mumbled. "Um, well, this is my car. Maybe we could do this again?"

"Yeah, I'd... I'd like that," he replied.

"Good," I replied.

There was a small pause before I leaned over and kissed Buck's cheek.

"Goodnight, Buck," I grinned before going around to get in my car.

"Goodnight," I heard him say as I stepped away.

I would have given anything to understand how important that night was going to be in the long run.

-------------------

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[ironh3artstark]

Request tony and peter having one year anniversary sex of dating and being official couple. Tony proposed to Peter! Pls write that 😍

Hey! Hope this is okay, I’ve been pretty busy lol! <3 enjoy!!!!

Today officially marks one year since Peter and Tony became boyfriends.

Tony had decided, earlier that week to cancel all of the plans he had and made sure his lover was available as well. He wanted to make sure it was somewhere special to both of them, because of course, he had something more up his sleeve.

He’s Tony Stark, what did you expect?

He was going to propose to the younger boy, and legally make him his.

It may seem early in the relationship but as far as they’re both concerned, they’ve been in love since they both saw each other the first time, in that small apartment in Queens.

Peter was ecstatic, Tony had offered to take them to see the beauty of Leipzig, Germany when there are no battles or disagreements to be fought over. To be fair, Peter didn't care where Tony wanted to take them. As long as they were together.

When they're in the hotel, Peter can't stop looking everywhere. He's holding onto Tony's hand while he observes the settings. Turning everywhere with his jaw dropped, Tony smiles at how joyful he looks.

Peter grins, "Tony! This is like the most perfect place ever! Besides the lab. It's beautiful." He says and smiles widely at his lover.

Tony smiles, brown eyes filled with love and adoration. He stares down at Peter, "Mm. It is, isn't it?" Peter blushes and looks down to the glossy floor with a huge smile on his face.

"The rooms are already ready. Let's get dressed. I have a surprise for you." Tony says, lifting the hand that is entwined in his, and placing a kiss on Peter's hand.

As they walk to their room, Peter keeps rambling and says stuff along the lines of ‘A suprise? This is great’ and ‘OhmygodOhmygod.’

As Peter and Tony enter their hotel room, Peter's eyes widen in awe at the sight before him. The room is bathed in soft, golden light streaming in from the large windows, casting a warm glow over the elegant furnishings. "Wow," Peter breathes, his voice filled with wonder as he takes in the luxurious surroundings. "Tony, this is incredible." Tony smiles, watching Peter's reaction with fondness.

"I'm glad you like it, Pete. I wanted our anniversary to be special."

Peter walks further into the room, his gaze moving from the plush king-sized bed to the sparkling chandelier overhead. He runs his fingers lightly over the silky duvet, marveling at the attention to detail. "It's like something out of a dream," Peter says, turning to face Tony with a wide grin. "Thank you."Tony steps closer, wrapping his arms around Peter from behind. "You deserve the world, Peter. And I'll do everything in my power to give it to you."Peter leans back into Tony's embrace, “Now, we should get ready. We have a reservation at Schaarschmidts.” Tony winks.

Peter tilts his head at the name and looks confused at the man, wondering if he just spoke English or not.

Tony leans down to press a kiss on Peter’s forehead before walking away to head to one of the two bathrooms in their room.

Peter quickly follows suit and heads to the other bathroom, finding his designer suit hanging up, that fits him in all the right places. He was grateful for Tony’s credit card. Just not as much as he was grateful for the wonderful man he can say he’s happily in love with.

Stepping into the shower to wash himself off from the flight, he gets an idea. He can tell this night is going to end in the sheets, so he wants to surprise Tony.

Peter opens himself thoroughly in the shower, angling away from that pleasurable spot in his ass to wait for his lover later.

He thrusts two fingers in his ass, scissoring and spreading himself so Tony can slide in easily.

Feeling that he’s open enough, he finishes washing his body and hair, turning off the warm water and stepping out.

Peter dries off, wrapping a towel around his waist as he locates a blow dryer.

Quickly styling his hair, he gets dressed in his dark green suit that looks perfect on him. Fixing his sleeves in the mirror, he observes himself as he thinks.

He locates his toiletries bag and pulls out some very smoothing chapstick and sprays on some perfume.

Peter smiles at his appearance and runs his hands through his hair once more, walking out of the bathroom, to find Tony on the bed putting on a watch.

Tony looks amazing. As he always does, but tonight he's everything and more. Tony obviously thinks the same when he looks up from his wrist and observes the younger. Tony quickly stands up.

"God, Peter." "You look amazing, Tony." They both say at the same time and Peter blushes while Tony grins.

Tony steps forward to place a palm against Peter's cheek. He guides him to look from the ground, into his eyes. Tony speaks, "You are gorgeous, honey,"

Peter smiles and tries to tilt his head back down but Tony still wants him to look at the older.

Tony leans down slowly, tipping Peter's head up as his lips press against the thinner ones of Peter.

Peter kisses back, slowly moving his lips with Tony. Tony kisses once more before moving back.

He grins at how pink Peter has gotten. “We’re gonna be late. Let’s continue this later?” Tony asks hopefully.

Peter nods quickly.

They walk out of the room, side by side as Tony guides Peter with a hand on his lower back, gently rubbing his thumb to ease his nerves.

As Tony and Peter arrive at Schaarschmidts, the elegant facade of the restaurant bathed in soft golden light greets them. Tony offers Peter his arm, and they walk together, their steps synchronized with a shared sense of anticipation.

The waiter greets them warmly as they enter, leading them to a secluded table adorned with flickering candlelight and a bouquet of roses. Peter's eyes widen in awe at the romantic setting, his heart pounding with excitement.

"This is amazing, Tony," Peter whispers, his voice filled with wonder. Tony smiles, his gaze filled with affection as he pulls out a chair for Peter.

"Only the best for you, Pete."

As they settle into their seats, their conversation flows effortlessly, laughter punctuating the air as they reminisce about the past year and dream about the future.

Midway through their meal, Tony's demeanor shifts slightly, his expression becoming more serious. He reaches into his pocket, fingers closing around the small velvet box hidden within. "Peter," Tony begins, his voice soft but determined.

Peter can hear how his heartbeat increases. Peter furrows his brows and tenses up.

“I’m so glad to have you in my life. You’ve changed me for the better, seriously. You’re incredibly special, kind and generous, so different from me, but I see myself in you in so many different ways, kid. I told you a year ago, you were it for me, and I’m serious. I don’t want anyone else but you, and I hope the feelings mutual.” Tony laughs out.

Peter’s eyes widen in surprise as Tony stands and gets down on one knee beside the table. The almost empty restaurant going quiet as they observe the display of love.

Tony takes the ring out his pocket and opens the box. If you looked closely, it had the same blue glow that Tony’s arc reactor gave off. Peter had stated one day that if he could carry that technology with him everywhere, he would.

Holding the ring up, Tony speaks as Peter is already tearing up.

“I know you might want to wait until you graduate college next year, but I’ll wait. As long as you want. So, Peter Parker, will you do me the honor of putting up with me for as long as you can handle?” Tony breathes out, feeling tears threaten his eyes. Peter’s just a waterfall at this point.

Peter covers his mouth with his palm for a second before nodding so fast he might get whiplash.

“T-Tony, Oh my g-god. Yes! Yes!” Peter replies loudly, perhaps too loud.

Tony sniffles and shoots up, tackling his boy into a kiss. Peter presses his lips back tenderly. It’s a soft and lingering kiss, filled with passion and most likely, the promise of forever.

His arms wrap around Peter’s waist, pulling him closer. Their lips seem to move at the right pace, enveloping each other.

Peter leans back from the kiss first, gazing into Tony’s eyes with a goofy smile, “I want to be with you forever. I love you so much, Tony.”

Tony tilts his head as he feels a tear drop. Tony smiles softly, filled with nothing but love as he responds, “I love you so much more.”

“Let’s get out of here, please?” Peter asks.

When they arrive back to the hotel room, Tony doesn’t have time to shut the door behind him, because as soon as they enter, Peter is pressing him against it and taking his lips into a deep kiss.

Tony moans into the kiss and kisses back, slipping his tongue through the passage. Tony slides a free hand to Peter’s curls, holding the back of his head as he devours his mouth.

Peter is quickly removing his clothes as he kisses back with intent. Tony steps back from the kiss, not without a protest from Peter and removes his shoes and suit jacket. He drags Peter over to the bed, instantly attacking his neck with sucks and kisses, helping Peter undress with unbuttoning his shirt.

Laying Peter down on the bed, he kisses his way down his body, sucking a hickey above his waistline. Peter moans at the sensation of Tony’s goatee against his skin and hitches up his hips to get more.

Tony pushes his hips down gently and grins, “Calm down, baby. I’ll take care of you.” Tony says and unzips Peter’s trousers, wasting no time.

Peter helps Tony by kicking his pants off, and slightly lifting his legs.

“I opened myself up for you.” Peter says while blushing. Tony groans at imagining the sight of his boy preparing himself just for him.

Tony kisses Peter’s smooth thigh that’s next to his head, trailing them up to the place Peter wants his mouth the most. Tony places a ghosting kiss to his length and Peter whimpers at the very light touch.

He doesn't waste anymore time, taking the tip into his mouth. Peter gasps at the feeling of the wet heat that he loves so much and moves his hips up. Tony moans, moving his head down slowly, swallowing Peter inch by inch.

Peter moans in pleasure and reaches a hand out to Tony's head, threading his fingers through his soft, short hair.

"Oh- T-Tony!" He whimpers.

Tony bobs his head faster, and Peter moans louder, feeling himself come close almost immediately.

Tony continues with his movements, rubbing his thumb against Peter’s thigh in a soothing manner, removing it and running his hand over Peter’s tight balls. Making him tipple over to the edge.

“Oh-Fuck! Tony, I-I’m gonna—“ Peter doesn’t get to finish his sentence, he’s seeing stars behind his closed eyes and cumming into his lovers mouth.

Peter breathes heavily while Tony continues to suck him through his orgasm.

Tony swallows it all, sucking his length clean and pulling up. Tony leans up and observes Peter who already looks fucked out. He hasn’t even put his dick in him yet.

Tony leans over Peter and gives him a deep kiss to his slightly parted lips, Peter almost instantly kissing back.

Tony pulls back to lie his head close to Peter’s ear. He speaks huskily, “You taste so good. Still ok?” Peter quickly nods. He bites his lip and spreads his legs for easy access.

“Please, fuck me.” Peter says, his voice low and soft, wanting his lover to completely fill him up.

Tony smiles and kisses his flushed cheek. He reaches over and grabs the bottle of lube he put out before they left and coats his length with the substance.

He positions his tip for the pink hole, gently pushing in. Even with prep, Peter is always tight. He pauses, waiting for him to adjust, then slowly pushes in the rest of the way, bottoming out inside the tight and warm heat.

"Tony..." Peter moans softly, his eyelids fluttering as he adjusts to the stretch, loving the feeling. He could never get enough of this.

Tony begins to slightly move his hips. “How does it feel, baby?”

“It’s so good…please move.” Peter whimpers, tangling a hand into the bed comforter.

Tony smiles and begins moving his hips, thrusting in and out slowly. Peter wraps his legs around Tony's waist, pulling him closer.

Tony's movements grow more confident, and his thrusts become harder and deeper.

Peter moans, his fingers grasping at the sheets.

"Fuck, you feel amazing." Tony groans, his voice husky with desire.

Peter gasps, his eyes wide with arousal and pleasure.

"F-faster, Tony, please." He whimpers.

Tony quickens his pace, his movements becoming more erratic as his release builds.

Peter's back arches as Tony hits his prostate, his body shuddering with pleasure.

"Right there!"

Tony aims for that spot again and again, hitting it every time. Peter cries out, his eyes screwed shut as he writhes in pleasure.

"Oh god, I'm so close." Peter moans, his body trembling as his orgasm builds. Tony increases the pace, his hips slapping against Peter's ass.

Peter clenches around Tony's cock, and his body shakes with the intensity of his release, releasing short spurts of cum out of his again-hardened cock.

“Tony!”

Tony groans, feeling his own release take over. He cums into the tight warmth and slows his thrusts as he pushes himself through it.

He collapses beside Peter, both of them breathing heavily.

Tony looks over to Peter, who’s sliding over to lay on his fiancés chest. Tony leans, to lay a kiss on his slightly sweaty forehead. “I love you. You’re the best person I’ve ever known, Pete.” Tony whispers into his curls, never thinking his love for his protege would take off. And now look where they are.

Peter lifts his head up and smiles softly, “You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Tony. I love you too.”

If they spent the rest of their night fucking and making love like animals in mating season, that was entirely up to them.