#to be fair I don't have a writer's block so much as just very little time or energy to write atm

[musette22]

Omg Minnie, I feel like this is a "first world problem" but there a so maaaany fics and so LITTLE time to read them 🥺🥺🥺

Oh my gosh nonnie, I KNOW 🥺 It's definitely a luxury problem and I'm so happy that this fandom is thriving and the people in it are so incredibly talented and creative, but I'm really struggling to keep up with all the new fic that's being posted these days too 🙈

Not that I'd have it any other way, and I'm not complaining, trust me! The new content is all absolutely wonderful and the quality is incredibly high, but that does mean that I want to read it ALL, and I just can't seem to find the time to do so and that makes me 😫 you know what I mean? Especially because I want to leave comments on everything too to let people know that their hard work is being appreciated, and because I don't want to accidentally miss anyone out!!

Fortunately I seem to have timed my own writer's block well so that at least I'm not also writing while trying to read all the new content 😅 I don't know how everyone else does it, kudos to them!! But please keep it coming, guys! You're all amazing and brilliant 🙌🏼💖

[joequiinn]

The Dos & Don'ts of Fake Dating | E.M. x reader | pt. 15

[chap fourteen] | [all chapters here] | [chap sixteen]

Story Summary: You propose a crazy idea to the resident freak of Hawkins, Eddie Munson. But maybe he was even crazier for agreeing to it…

notes & tropes: fem reader, slooow burn, faking dating, opposites attract, bratty rich bitch reader, super minor revenge plot, dysfunctional family dynamics, idiots-to-lovers, smut & nsfw themes

a/n: Yes it has been nearly 2 months since I've posted, this chapter was giving me a hard time 😭 But I finally fought off the writer's block, and now we're only a few more chapters away from the end!

wc: 5.9k

Chapter Fifteen

“I can’t believe I let you drag me into this.” You grumbled as Eddie guided you through the school hallways, to which he gave you a dazzlingly mocking smile. That self-satisfied grin was practically ear-to-ear as he looked down at you, his face alight with such glee that you briefly felt the temptation to smack the look away in retaliation.

“You didn’t have to come along.” Eddie answered with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and you pulled a face at him; you were always amused by Eddie’s antics, even the ones that annoyed you, such as this.

“You say that, but I didn’t really have a choice, did I?” You countered smartly. Eddie’s grip on your hand tightened a little just to torment you.

“One night of D&D for one night at a Halloween party, I think that sounds fair enough. And I came up with a very special campaign just for you, princess, it would be a shame if you missed it.”

He gave you a taunting, perhaps even flirtatious look, and you couldn’t help your surprise - was he just saying that, or had he actually created a campaign simply because he was counting on you being there? Regardless, he made a good point, although you abhorred to admit it.

Yesterday afternoon, you’d overheard some of your peers excitedly talking about a Halloween party coming up next week, and it caught your attention - you loved parties and you loved Halloween too much not to become curious.

So, you eavesdropped, getting what details you could. The party was hosted by Chance Hunter, whose family was very well known for their parties - it started with his oldest brother back when he was still in school, and the tradition continued with the middle brother and finally Chance. For the past ten years, everyone at Hawkins High knew a party at the Hunter house meant getting absolutely trashed and totally fucked up.

You’d had your own share of wild memories from past parties hosted by Chance - not good memories necessarily, but undeniably chaotic ones. Getting into spats with people after drinking too much, trying coke for the first time - parties hosted by the Hunters were total mayhem, and yet you all kept going back for more like a bunch of sadists.

So, having heard all the details about the party coming up next week, you insisted to Eddie that the two of you had to go, that he had to experience at least one party at the Hunters’ before he graduated. And he was not wholly eager to go to a high school party, although you insisted it wasn’t like any shit he’d probably seen before. It took some back-and-forth for you to get him to agree, but only if you came to a session with the Hellfire Club; you had laughed at the idea before you realized that he was being deathly serious. You were half-tempted to say the party wasn’t worth it, but then Eddie seemed to look actually disappointed, so you begrudgingly agreed so that you didn't hurt his feelings too much.

This god damn crush was going to be the death of you.

Thus, here you were, entering the drama room to the sight of everyone else already sitting around a table, a bit of a sneer on your face as they looked back at you with surprised confusion. You could practically feel how large Eddie’s smile was as he dragged you across the room, eagerly pulling up a chair for you, although the seat was dwarfed in comparison to the stupid throne at the head of the table; if this weren’t the theatre room, you’d wonder why the fuck Eddie had a throne in the first place.

“How’d you convince her to come here?” Grant asked with a laugh, to which you glared; the group of boys was starting to grow accustomed to your presence and, unfortunately, that meant they also weren’t quite as scared of you as they once were. Nor were you quite as annoyed by them as you used to be.

“Much persuasion.” Eddie responded in a comedic, low voice, as if he were already getting into character as Dungeon Master; the title made you burst out laughing when he first said it, to which you received a sharp glare.

Really, Eddie didn’t think you’d agree to come along when he first mentioned this - he threw out the Dungeons and Dragons suggestion because he figured you’d say “no,” that you’d rather skip a good party than be even a spectator to his hobby. Considering what happened at the last party you two attended together, Eddie was initially anxious about what could happen should you go to another; he enjoyed kissing you far too much, and he worried that if given another opportunity to do so, he’d have a much harder time keeping himself together.

Prior to that party at Rick’s place, Eddie already knew he was royally screwed - his crush on you had developed so damn quickly that it nearly gave him whiplash. Despite the fact that you were mean just for the sake of it, that you were frigid half the time, that you were stubborn and willing to fight with him… Eddie had still managed to fall for you like a total sap.

From that first “date” when you two actually found things to laugh about together, Eddie was already growing charmed by you, and even at the time he knew that was a dangerous thing. And as the weeks carried on, it only became easier for Eddie to see you as his - you actually went to his band’s gigs, you were open to trying new things with him, you willingly apologized to him despite it clearly being a near impossible task for you. Eddie knew better than to catch feelings for you, but in the span of only a few short weeks he was head over heels.

And really, he’d always thought you were gorgeous, which didn’t help the situation any - Eddie shouldn’t have let your pretty face get to him, but he just couldn’t help himself. 

He noticed you from the first moment you sat down at the desk in front of him in history class back in ‘82; you collapsed into the seat with an annoyed huff at something, flipping your hair so that it fell onto the notebook that he was doodling in. Your carelessness had irked Eddie, especially because you always seemed to be invading his space - an irony, considering that he learned later of your disdain for being touched. Your hair or your elbow were always on his desk. Sure, he could’ve said something to you about it, but he had found enjoyment in the scent of your shampoo and the way your elbow would accidentally nudge his hand, prompting you to jump a little and quickly yank your arm to your side.

Hell, the one time Eddie walked into the classroom to find you sitting on his desk while caught up in conversation, it made him nervous; although he’d built this reputation for himself of being a freak willing to say and do anything, he couldn’t find it in his power to ask you to simply move. You were so cold, hence the nickname bestowed upon you by peers, and he found that quality to be both terrifying and hypnotizing at the same time.

Then there was that day when you accidentally knocked over your bag when the bell rang, and Eddie immediately jumped to help collect your scattered belongings without a second thought. While others stepped around the two of you, you watched in surprise as the resident freak picked up pens and erasers, a stray tube of lipstick in a color that was now discontinued. It was the first time Eddie got to see your genuine smile, and he was riding that high for the rest of the week. It had only lasted for a split second because your friends were calling you to hurry up, but you gave him that dazzling smile, not even saying a word as you then breezed past him and out the door.

Back then, Eddie had enough wherewithal to avoid ever developing feelings for you - you were bitchy, you had an attitude problem, and you were prone to rudeness constantly. You made it easy for him, in that respect - he could look at your pretty face all he wanted, but feel no desire to get to know you any better. So what if you had an amazing smile and he loved the smell of your hair? Eddie didn’t need to get hung up on a popular girl with seemingly no redeeming qualities.

Following that school year, Eddie figured it was just a crush-by-proximity - you two hadn’t had a class together after that, so he never saw you and, therefore, never really thought about you. And so it stayed that way, until this year - when he saw you sitting in math class on that first day of school, he was briefly reminded of the sweet smell of your shampoo, of that smile that he’d never seen on your face again. But that was that, or so Eddie thought.

Seeing you, the ice princess, waiting for him at the picnic table on that fateful day was nearly startling to him; he’d already guessed that the note in his locker was from some preppy chick if the handwriting was any indicator, but for whatever damn reason you hadn’t even crossed his mind. You made him feel nervous immediately, although he was never going to let that on. No, he played up his confidence and his antics, keeping you on your toes so that he wouldn’t feel so damn anxious around you and your cruel stare.

Hell, before that meeting at the picnic tables, he’d never really taken notice of the charming sound of your voice or the pretty color of your eyes, but then those things immediately became all he could think about. Eddie knew he shouldn’t have agreed to your crazy idea, but for whatever damn reason, he couldn’t turn you down; even then, a part of him wanted to give you everything he possibly could, as crazy as that was.

Like an idiot, he tried to set out rules for himself, much like your attempts to create rules for the fake relationship:

Don’t let all the pretend dating get to his head

Keep his distance whenever possible

No spending time with you unnecessarily

Don’t get stupidly jealous of your ex

Follow your lead

It seemed simple enough, and yet Eddie managed to break all of his rules in rapid succession, one right after the other. He should’ve known things wouldn’t go according to plan, that his feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated and that he was just a means to an end.

But then Rick’s party happened, and you threw Eddie and his entire perspective for a goddamn loop. Leading up to that, he already knew things were different between you two, but he couldn’t have predicted that you’d drunkenly kiss him, let alone with the fervor in which you did it. Shit, that night made his head spin, and foolishly he thought maybe that kiss had meant something, that maybe you’d admit that you were secretly harboring feelings for him, too.

Considering the kind of whirlwind that life had been since then, Eddie couldn’t even venture to guess if there was actually something going on between the two of you or not. Clearly you were friends, clearly you’d come to depend on his companionship, but he couldn’t possibly fathom that you actually liked him in the same way he liked you.

Yet you'd get nervous when he looked at you a certain way, or you’d avert your gaze when he said something suggestive; you’d get a particular look on your face when Eddie was being serious about a subject, or you’d bite your lip if you two locked eyes for too long. How was he supposed to interpret it when you’d grow tense at his touch, or when he’d lean in too close and your eyes would go wide?

And, fuck, Eddie hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that day when you looked as if you were going to drool over the goddamn ketchup on his fingers. That look on your face had taken up permanent residence in his head, making his alone time all the more torturous when he tried in vain not to think about you.

Eddie couldn’t resist laying it on extra trick following that, flirting with you more blatantly just to see how you’d react. Clearly, he made you nervous, but he couldn’t quite tell why - was the flirting a good thing or a bad thing, did you love it or loathe it?

Could he have just asked you directly what you were feeling? Yes, Eddie supposed he could, but he wasn’t particularly brave enough for that potentially cruel rejection.

Sure, whatever may or may not be going on between the two of you was odd, ridiculous even, but Eddie would much rather deal with that than risk losing it by asking you the all too simple question. He could handle a whole year of this tension so long as it meant spending time with you, so Eddie chose not to have that potentially fatal discussion.

And so, you two were in something of a limbo, stuck in a way that the both of you had come to accept, silly as it may be.

Once Eddie was settled into his throne (which you still rolled your eyes at), he reminded everyone of where they left off in their adventure, the recap confusing you as an unwilling spectator.

 “Now, gentlemen, if you remember our last meeting, you were all left penniless following a camp raid, and the party is in desperate need of funds in order to continue this quest.” Eddie looked eagerly around the group, a wicked smile on his lips as he settled his gaze on you; you gave him a suspicious look, suddenly nervous about why exactly he was staring at you like that.

He returned his animated face to the group around the table, “Luckily, you're only about a day’s trek from the Ten Towns Valley of Icewind Dale; you have enough supplies to make that journey, but you won’t make it any further without funds and the proper equipment. It might be in your best interest to visit the tyrannical Ice King who rules this realm - there’s rumor he’s willing to pay a handsome fee for those daring enough to accept the quest he has in store.”

As the group began to excitedly talk amongst themselves about what this side quest may be, you stared at Eddie with intrigue, to which he simply gave you a giddy look. He leaned over to whisper in your ear.

“Excited yet?”

“For what?” You questioned, although you already knew this had something to do with the “special” campaign he claimed to have come up with. But instead of answering you, Eddie winked with a charming smile, looking back at the club with faux seriousness.

“Well, what’s the party’s decision?”

The group all exclaimed, voices overlapping as they agreed to visit this Ice King character.

At that moment, you realized what Eddie may be implying with that title, and you quickly shot him a look; as if he could read your mind, his smile grew larger with anticipation. As you two stared at one another, you narrowed your eyes even as you resisted an amused grin, challenging him to explain to you what was going on, but Eddie wouldn’t budge.

It felt like a whirlwind trying to keep up with all the chatter and excitement amongst the boys, your eyes bouncing around the room as they talked over each other, asked Eddie questions, and laughed at jokes that went over your head. Within only a few minutes, you were growing more confused and, thus, more annoyed, and so you tried to find something to keep you preoccupied - you fussed with your nails, flipped through a book, anything to distract you while you were stuck sitting here in the middle of this silly game.

The boys hollered and howled together as they speculated what the quest might be, as they debated how the story might unfold. On occasion, your ears would perk up when Eddie would put on some voice while the group went on their “journey,” but you’d just as quickly become disengaged again.

Eventually something significant must have happened, because abruptly Eddie grabbed the fold-out chair you sat in and dragged it closer to him, causing you to yelp in surprise; the sharp sound of the chair legs whining against the floor made the entire room yell in annoyance and frustration. You gave Eddie a glare, your face knotted as if your ears were ringing, but he seemed entirely unphased as he threw his arm around you; for good measure, you half-heartedly smacked him in the chest as you continued glowering.

“Brave explorers,” Eddie began in a deeper voice, going so far as to change his cadence, clearly becoming a different character, “I, the Ice King, ask but a simple task of you - rescue my daughter, the Ice Princess, who has been kidnapped by my rival. Bring her home safe and sound, and I will pay you a hefty fee.”

Eddie squeezed your shoulder eagerly as the boys once again began to talk amongst themselves, meanwhile you gave him a charmed look, leaning into his side, “Really, the Ice Princess? How creative.”

He leaned in close, his face so close that you could feel his breath against your skin, making your heart skip, “Hey, I’ve got something up my sleeve, don’t worry your pretty little head over the details.”

Luckily, Eddie looked back at the group before he could see the embarrassment that washed across your face at his indirect compliment.

Dustin resolutely spoke for the party, “We will gladly save the Ice Princess from your enemy’s clutches, sire.”

Eddie nodded at him, “Very well. The last known location of Princess…”

When he trailed off, everyone looked at you, causing you to pull a face and glance at Eddie; he, too, had an expectant look in his eyes, “What?”

“Well, the princess needs a name.”

“Then give her my name.” You said it as if that were obvious, your tone biting albeit confused; but everyone simply snickered at the suggestion.

Eddie shook his head teasingly, ��Not in D&D; you pick something.”

You rolled your eyes with a huff, “Gladys.”

The group laughed again, although this time clearly in amusement at your humor. Eddie, however, narrowed his eyes at you challengingly, perhaps a little disappointed that you weren’t playing along, “Come on, something more interesting than that.”

You sighed again while glaring at him smally; it’s not that you were wholly averse to being here during their game, but you hadn’t realized you were expected to participate. You bit the inside of your cheek, knowing that there was no point in being stubborn just for the sake of it. And the look on Eddie’s face didn’t help the matter, as despite his own obstinate expression, his eyes seemed all too hopeful that you’d engage with this game. So, you mulled it over for a moment, Eddie watching your face far too attentively in anticipation.

“Fine. Elvira.” You smiled proudly, feeling all too pleased with yourself when Eddie’s eyes lit up at your answer.

“Elvira?” He leaned towards you flirtatiously, “So, you’re the Ice Princess and the Mistress of the Dark?”

“As if you didn’t already know.” You countered playfully, forgetting the rest of the group for a moment.

Eddie gave you one more teasing wink before looking you up and down, then returned his attention to the group. His eyes practically made you melt, and you quickly had to pull yourself together, “So, Princess Elvira was seen being escorted through Luskan by a known hand of the Rebel Prince, so it is believed that he’s taken her prisoner. Do whatever it takes to return the princess back home.”

And so, the game commenced, although you were quickly left in a state of semi-interested confusion yet again - clearly, Princess Elvira wasn’t too significant for the time being, as you were left to entertain yourself as the group engaged with their quest.

Eventually, you huffed, growing antsy as if in need of something - anything - to keep you occupied as you simply sat here. Beside you, Eddie shot you a glance, feeling your languor radiating outward; teasingly, he pinched at your arm, promptly receiving another small smack from you in retaliation.

“Am I supposed to do anything?” You asked smally while leaning towards him, causing Eddie to smirk.

“What, don’t tell me you’re suddenly interested in playing.” He teased as Lucas paused to debate some move he was going to make, though you had no context for what exactly the party was meant to be doing at this moment.

“No, but I’m just sitting here doing nothing.” You answered in a bratty tone. Foolishly, you hadn’t counted on Eddie being so engaged with the group that he couldn’t keep you entertained - you should have figured as much, and yet, you’d grown so accustomed to his attention that it was suddenly strange to not have it.

That was one more thing for you to not read into.

“Darn.” Eddie mocked, and your expression deadpanned, causing him to grin widely. The group drew his attention back just as he looked like he was about to say something more; you watched as his face shifted, getting back into character, and you couldn’t help but smile at it despite your annoyance.

As Eddie narrated whatever scenario the group had just found themselves in, you tried to pay a little more attention, at least in an effort to satiate your boredom - there was something about a snowy mountain pass and an encounter with soldiers of the Rebel Prince.

While the story continued on, you slowly found yourself becoming gripped by it, watching as Eddie verbally guided the group through treacherous landscapes and harrowing enemy encounters; you were beginning to understand, at least to some extent, what Dungeons & Dragons was about.

Sure, the skill checks and abilities and dice rolls were still confusing as ever to you, but the basics were becoming clear - everyone had a character and a role, and they had to rely on Eddie to reveal the story and information to them. That must have been part of the fun, you figured.

And although you weren’t participating, you found that you were also coming to enjoy this - watching Eddie speak in a variety of voices, jumping out of his seat with excitement and histrionically throwing his arms around. Much like when he played guitar, you could see that he was in his element, that his passion and focus had a way of bringing a smile to your face despite a part of you still finding this game to be completely dorky. Yet again, Eddie found a way to charm you, but at the moment you were far too amused to be annoyed by that.

Eventually, Eddie’s narration brought the group to what must have been the climax of the journey - the party had burst into the Keep of the Rebel Prince, prepared to confront him regarding the kidnapping of Princess Elvira. For this, Eddie sunk down into his seat, his posture taking on one of snarky confidence - this must have been for the prince’s characterization. With a smirk, he began in a voice not quite his own.

“So, you’ve found me, gentlemen.” Eddie’s eyes shined eagerly, as if this is what he’d been waiting for the entire time, “I suspected the Ice King would send someone soon enough.”

“We know that you’ve taken the princess prisoner.” Dustin spoke up eagerly, equally as excited as Eddie for whatever was to come next, “And we plan to kill you and take her back!”

Eddie laughed theatrically, and although it was ridiculous that he was doing all this for a simple tabletop game, you couldn’t help but watch him in anticipation, “You will not be killing me nor will you be taking her back, not unless she has anything to say about it.”

Collectively, you all looked at Eddie with expressions full of confusion and curiosity, wondering what he could possibly mean by that. And, clearly, he was absolutely eating this up - you could see just how much Eddie thrilled in the suspense and tension that was building.

“Your dear Ice Princess is going nowhere, you see, because she’s fallen in love with me.”

All at once, the boys began to eagerly talk over one another, delight and surprise amplifying their volume as they tried to make sense of this plot twist. As they conferred with one another, Eddie returned his gaze to you, his eyes alight at the surprise that had crossed your face as you stared back at him, although there was something within his expression that almost seemed to be assessing you.

“How do we know you’re telling the truth?” Mike spoke up, everyone giving Eddie suspicious looks, “How do we know that you haven’t cast some spell on her.”

In a near threatening manner, Eddie leaned forward with an over the top look of menace, daring the group to doubt him, “From the moment I first laid eyes upon her, I was captivated by the princess. I was drawn to her like a magnet, and by some stroke of luck, she was drawn to me as well.”

“Or so you say.” Jeff challenged rousingly.

Eddie looked at you from the corner of his eye, and perhaps you were misreading it, but there was something uncharacteristically guarded about his expression; he quickly looked back to the boys before you could read further into it, “The princess asked that I help her run away from the cruelty of her father, and how could I refuse her all that she asked for? As the Ice King’s rival, she and I both knew he’d never approve of what had grown between us, so we staged the princess’s kidnapping, despite knowing he’d still come after us.”

The corner of your mouth turned up at the obvious parallel, Eddie drawing inspiration from the secret that this entire relationship between you two was a sham. But just as quickly as it amused you, it also made you tense, silly as that may be - sure, he was in character, but something about the Rebel Prince’s confession of love for the princess spiked your nerves.

You realized amidst your reverie that Eddie was looking at you once more, although the moment you made eye contact he looked away. That avoidance only added to your nerves, another wave of anxiety fluttered inside you, but you simply watched on as he, and the rest of the group, continued.

“For the princess, I’d do anything.” Eddie continued, his tone serious enough that you’d believe him if this wasn’t just a game, “Kill for her, die for her - and I’m willing to take on each and every one of you if that’s what it comes to.”

The group quickly conferred, deciding what their course of action should be now that this shocking information was revealed. All the while, you continued staring at Eddie with wonder, wishing that his fictional little story hadn’t made you feel something, that it hadn’t made you begin to question and wonder at things. He refrained from gazing back at you, furthering your curiosity.

“We want to hear from the princess.” Gareth finally spoke up for everyone; Eddie tilted his head playfully in response, “If what you say is true, we want her to confirm it. And then we’ll decide whether or not we fight you.”

An eager smile spread wide across Eddie’s lips as he went on to describe the way a set of doors opened to reveal Princess Elvira, detailing how she entered the room with a calm, graceful, hypnotic demeanor. Eventually, he and the boys all looked back at you expectantly, and you realized with a start that you were now expected to finally participate, to speak for this character that barely existed within the scope of the story.

You looked between them all with trepidation, eyes practically imploring Eddie to help you figure out what the hell you were supposed to do. Now that you were on the spot, all pondering about Eddie had come to a halt, your mind immediately drawing a blank.

“Oh, come on, don’t chicken out now just when things are getting good.” Dustin lambasted excitedly, drawing a glare out of you as everyone shared a small laugh, “Well? Is the princess being manipulated, or does she actually have feelings for the Rebel Prince?”

You pulled a bit of a hesitant face before sighing, returning your eyes to Eddie as if seeking assistance, as if you needed help forming whatever sentences he wanted to keep the narrative rolling. He was finally able to actually look you in the eye again, simply nod before falling back into character.

“Well, princess, what do you say?”

For another moment you chewed the inside of your cheek before starting tentatively, voice unsure and plain; you held Eddie’s gaze hesitantly, “It’s… true. The Rebel Prince and I are… in love?”

You couldn’t help but huff out a confused laugh at how strange it felt to now be involved in the boys’ dorky little game. And it felt even stranger to allude to love between you and Eddie, even if it were through your characters; you nearly felt a chill on the nerves it made you feel.

“I don’t find that very convincing.” Grant teased as if he were trying to rally the party against the Rebel Prince’s supposed lie. Your jaw tightened a little at the challenge, and so you continued while looking from Eddie to him, growing nervous as if you - not Princess Elvira - were the one being interrogated.

“Everything he said is the truth,” You tried again, hoping that by looking away from Eddie you would somehow keep your cool. Why were you feeling butterflies in your stomach? It’s not as if you were admitting your feelings for Eddie, you reminded yourself. You attempted to swallow your nerves while figuring out what to say next, trying to find this character within yourself, “My father is heartless and hateful, it was suffocating. The Prince is kind and caring and a far cry from all the bad things people have called him… how could I not fall for him?”

There was a shared look of approval from the group - clearly, they were now pleased with this surprise narrative that Eddie had put together and pleased with your participation. As they huddled together once again, you glanced over at Eddie nervously; there was a faint smile on his lips and a light in his eyes that you couldn’t place, that made you anxious in combination with the not-confession you just made.

“As you boys can see, all your efforts were for nothing.” Eddie said to the group condescendingly, which once more seemed to rally them to argue, “So, either you leave us in peace, or I’ll be forced to strike you down.”

And so commenced another bout of debate and dice rolls, the boys deciding to fight in an effort to get their reward rather than show sympathy to the prince and princess. By their skills and luck, the characters eventually defeated the Rebel Prince, choosing to take him prisoner, intent on dragging both he and the princess back to the Ice King.

But then Eddie called it a night, deciding that the Hellfire Club would pick this narrative back up next week considering how long they’d already been at it. You were simultaneously glad and disappointed - you’d just begun to understand the game, to be a part of it, but you’d also been growing tired as the evening wore on.

So, once everything was wrapped up and put back in its place, you all exited the school together, the night air colder than you’d expected, which made you shiver. Being late October, you knew that you had to start dressing more appropriately for the weather, but you weren’t quite ready to give up your short skirts and thin shirts quite yet. You were willing to freeze your ass off just a little for the sake of fashion, shallow as that may sound; and, you simply hated wearing pants and layers.

Seeing the way you shivered and tightened your arms at your side, Eddie slipped off his jacket without hesitation, draping it over your shoulders. Nervously, you gave him a thankful look, hoping he didn’t catch the way you inhaled the scent of leather and cigarettes and musk. 

Eventually, everyone had parted ways, and you were comfortably situated in Eddie’s passenger seat with your knees tucked under you. As had become habit, you watched Eddie as he drove, studying the way the streetlights hit the planes of his face, smiling at the way his hands drummed along to the music against the steering wheel.

“So, what you think?” He asked with a quick glance at you.

“Pretty dorky.” You responded, although you quickly added, “But… fun.”

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that for me?” Eddie teased with a mischievous grin pointing at his ear in emphasis; you rolled your eyes, “Did the ice princess just say she had fun playing D&D with a bunch of nerds?”

“Shut up.” You countered half-heartedly, sharing a smile with him.

“Does that mean you want to come next week?”

Your brow furrowed a little, “We’ll be at the Halloween party.”

Eddie waved a hand, “We’ll go after, I’ll make it short.”

You sighed through your nose in consideration; if you went to more Hellfire Club sessions, would you just be sitting there idly as much as you were tonight? How could you participate? Would they even want you to? Did you actually want to?

“Fine… but don’t get used to it.” The simple response brought another bright smile to Eddie’s face.

“Oh, you’ll be begging to go in no time, I guarantee it.”

“I’m sure you’d love to see me beg.” You didn’t think the words through until they’d already spilled out of your mouth, causing your eyes to immediately widen and your shoulders to tense. Beside you, you could see the way Eddie’s own expression faltered, clearly catching the accidental innuendo, too. Fumbling over yourself for a moment, you tried to put on your best disinterested tone, as if you were none the wiser of the implications in your previous statement, “As if that would ever happen, though.”

Eddie blew air between his lips, also trying to play off that brief instance of tension, laughing falsely, “Yeah, yeah, that’s not happening.”

You could feel a shiver of anxiety all throughout your body, wondering what Eddie thought of what you just said, wondering why D&D felt a little too candid when you finally had the chance to speak. You had to have been blowing this out of proportion, your nerves simply getting the better of you - yeah, it was just this stupid crush of yours making you second guess things, making you overreact. There was no way Eddie was confessing anything to you back there, and you weren’t exactly confessing anything to him either.

Shit, you really had to keep yourself in check, because this crush was seriously getting out of hand.

.

.

@3rd-conchord @a-queen-blr @adelalaaa @adversary713 @avalon-wolf

@costellation-hunter @daisy-munson @daisyridleyss @damon-loves-pie @damp4eddie

@delilaaahhh @dreamerjj @eddiernunson @em0220 @feralgoblinbabe

@frogtape @fromasgardandback @fckyeahlames @graciehams @kellsck

@kthomps914 @littlexdeaths @lotrefcp @love-anonymous-writer @marrowfrog00

@maskofmirrors @mewchiili @miaajaade @miss-celestial-being @mmmunson

@moonisu @munsonssweets @no-bueno-writer @nxrdamp @rach5ive

@rcailleachcola @sapphire4082 @sav12321 @seatbacksandtraytables @sheneedsrocknroll92

@steeldaisies @stormgrl19 @swiftsgirlfriend @teethvenom @tvserie-s-world

@twihard28 @welcometohellsock @whats-my-question @xxsxdghxstxx

[alicerosejensen]

What about uhh Leon with a playful gf? Like in a childish endearing way. A child at heart and likes adventure :D

So, I’m slowly clearing out my inbox and answering old requests. In this case, I decided to make headcanons (I have writer's block).

There are no special warnings. Any version of Leon you want (for me it’s most likely Leon!Re4).

💙 Perhaps sometimes he will be annoyed by your behavior but rarely. His negative attitude will only manifest itself in moments when he is emotionally vulnerable (especially after a mission).

💙 Loves to fall asleep with you under these plush bedspreads but in a dream, he will involuntarily pull it over himself.

💙However, you will not stay without warmth. Leon loves hugging you very much, although you can already sleep, sleep won't come to Leon for a long time, so he will just hug you and look at all these plush toys and various little things that he gave you or that you bought yourself.

💙 I don't think Leon will fall in love with someone who behaves just like a child, but some mischief would give him hope that in this world he has something worth fighting for.

💙 He will buy all these cute stockings to please you.

💙 Leon doesn't really like different adventures because of his job, but if it's something harmless, then no problem. Sometimes he also wants to make a joke and cheer himself up by remembering that he is still a man and not just a slave to the government.

💙 He may sometimes feel uncomfortable in your apartment because of the abundance of toys, but again this is a temporary phenomenon. I'm more than sure that later he will buy you these giant stuffed animals himself.

💙 Leon will always be ready to go to fairs and various festivals with you (provided that he does not eliminate another threat in the form of bioweapons).

💙 If you have a little dog, Leon will even try to get along with him. Maybe he doesn't really like dogs, but from this little miracle he will also be touched and ask you to take him for a romantic walk together.

💙 Without any problems, he will allow you to make all these masks, scrubs, peels on it as a joke and even make some funny photos with you, but on condition that they are stored in personal archives.

💙 Leon will even help you realize your childhood dreams that you did not have time to realize at that time. It may be a small thing in the form of some kind of trip to a place that you have always dreamed of, or a thing that may no longer have any value and usefulness, but you still want to get it since you did not have it in childhood.

💙 He wouldn't have a problem shooting for you in a regular air rifle range, but if you really want to win on your own, then go ahead, baby. At least if you screw up completely, then Leon can save the day.

💙 You may even ask him to let you shoot with his gun (under his supervision, of course)

💙 He doesn't mind when you throw an arm or leg over him in a dream. Over time, Leon will get used to it so much that he will feel uncomfortable sleeping without your body parts on him.

💙 Leon S Kennedy are constantly teasing. This will often lead to him being hit on the head with a pillow, which can eventually turn into a soft battle.

💙 He likes quiet or slightly noisy evenings with you. He likes these old movies with delicious food or some sweets while the movie is on and you're sitting or lying next to him and gently fingering strands of his hair laughing or at least smiling at his ridiculous comments or jokes.

💙However, sometimes while watching, you can seriously start a dispute with him on any topic and take offense at not agreeing with him in opinions.

💙 Although these quarrels never last long.

💙 In any case, he loves you anyway and will most likely be the first to reconcile. Even if you act like a real kid sometimes.

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

My Work on Archive Of Our Own

Please ignore if me gushing about the reception of my fics is irritating. I understand there are some people who genuinely hate when fanfic writers do this, so I'm putting it under the cut so you don't have to see it!

(And fair warning; if this irritates you and you still decide to click 'keep reading' and you then decide that I am obviously up myself so I deserve a hate anon or several, I need to preemptively remind you that I gave you the choice not to engage. You will be blocked and I shall call you a silly little guy if you do this.)

I also would like to make this an invitation to anyone who wants to share their proudest stats, or a nice comment they got, or even just something they are really really happy about in having written their fic. (No need to click read more, just go for it and use this as your excuse to show some pride.) On any platform!

Gonna tag the following: @lya-dustin @ewanmitchellcrumbs @the-common-cowgirl @the-wonderland-madnesss @marthawrites

@vampire-exgirlfriend @exitpursuedbyavulcan @emilykaldwen @ripdragonbeans @aegonx

Feel free to turn this into a pass-on game, if you like! We should celebrate the things that make us happy, too. ❤️

I've not ever really posted about this because, IDK, I worry about being considered a conceited asshole. I figure, though, that this is my blog and my safe space and if I want to celebrate something I'm proud of then I should be able to do so. Nor am I implying that I believe this is any sort of metric of popularity or superiority, OR that I write for the sole purpose of validation through clicks and numbers. I have very little interest in engaging with any of that rhetoric. NO. It's just a convenient bonus, kinda like how I love my job and the fact I get paid is awesome but not my primary reason for doing it.

Okay, I think I've got the disclaimers out the way? (Can never be too sure with fandom.)

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads my stuff. Not only on here, but on Archive Of Our Own, which is more or less a place I consider the Ultimate Fanfiction Site (TM). It used to be fanfiction.net for me, but then their ads got annoying and their content ban gross, so AO3 it is! I've read fanfiction on AO3 since I was like 13, and I still find it crazy beyond belief that my work is not only on there, but that it gets any sort of traction at all.

As a little acknowledgement of something I'm proud of, I wanted to document my stats on my big series, terms of endearment, as of June 2024. It is by and large the biggest project I have ever done, and I've poured countless hours of researching, writing and editing into it.

darilaros (princess)

Words: 48,843 Comments: 254 Kudos: 801 Bookmarks: 111 Hits: 21,971

gevivys (beauty)

Words: 52,147  Comments: 578  Kudos: 2,965  Bookmarks: 490  Hits: 106,019

dōnus riñus (sweet girl)

Words: 58,775 Comments: 660 Kudos: 3,414 Bookmarks: 635 Hits: 141,339

ilībītsos (little slut)

Words: 62,725 Comments: 556 Kudos: 1,880 Bookmarks: 289 Hits: 99,939

ñuhus prūmȳs (my heart)

Words: 104,063 Comments: 1,188 Kudos: 2,274 Bookmarks: 368 Hits: 110,356

jorrāeliarzus (beloved) (ongoing)

Words: 38,451 Comments: 234 Kudos: 454 Bookmarks: 86 Hits: 16,208

That makes for a total of 365,004 words; 3,470 comments; 11,788 kudos; 1979 bookmarks; and 495,832 hits. Jesus Christ.

To everyone who kudos'ed, commented, bookmarked, subscribed or even just clicked on the link to the fic, thank you very much. This series has grown and grown, not just in my head but also in audience. It's given me so much encouragement and support in my writing, and a feeling like maybe I am decent at this? I don't know. I used to write when I was a kid, but I stopped during high school. Rediscovering the joy of it hasn't just been rewarding in terms of having fun with it, but also in discovering that there are people who genuinely want to read what I'm putting out. I've spent a lot of my life feeling powerless and silenced, so this really means so much to me.

I am going to keep on writing for as long as I possibly can, because I genuinely haven't found a hobby as long-lived and fulfilling as this.

Thank you. I'm so very lucky. I'm so grateful. I love you all!

[agentoffangirling]

I have a bone to pick with characters who cause problems then run off and use their backstories as an excuse for everything they do. HOWEVER, there is a difference between well-written ones and badly-written ones. Let's examine Grant Ward and Sylvie Laufeydottir (this is gonna be long, bear with me)

Ward, in case you're not familiar with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., is a character who had a difficult upbringing. His parents adored his youngest brother and turned a blind eye to the abuse Ward faced under his older brother. He also was hurt by his parents, so safe to say he had a tragic backstory

Later on in his life, he was picked up by John Garrett, an undercover HYDRA agent. Garrett groomed Ward and manipulated him, and it wasn't long before Ward joined HYDRA as well

Now I am not defending Ward. He is an absolutely despicable character, he's literally a Nazi, he threw two characters into the ocean, became overally obsessed with one of the mcs when it was clear she didn't want him, and killed and kidnapped multiple people with little to no remorse. He also uses his backstory as an excuse for all this stuff, claiming he does it for "Skye", "Kara", "us". Grant Ward gets no sympathy from me

There's a notable moment in s2 where the S.H.I.E.L.D. team is forced to work with him again, and upon getting death stares from all of them, this conversation takes place:

Ward: "And I could stand here and explain again how my parents and brother left me vulnerable..."

May: "We all had our traumas, Ward. Didn't turn any of us into psychopaths."

...

Ward: "I mean, for a while there, we were a good team. Weren't we?"

Skye: "I'm still happy I shot you.

Simmons: "Yeah, me too."

Fitz: "Should've aimed for the face."

And the writers don't ever try to make it so Ward is justified in doing these things. Not just his actions, but also the claim that his backstory excuses it, because as you can see above, other characters point out that they had all been through their fair share of troubles, and they didn't turn out like him. They don't justify the shit they did because their life was hard. The writers do make it so that a watcher can sympathize with Ward, and they also make it very clear he is not correct in doing these things

He's also a very complex person in general. He has so many traits, some of them downright conflicting, but that's who he is. Tancheroen and the others show that very well, and almost everything he does is in-character. Ward is a very well-written bad character

Now we turn to Sylvie. Sylvie also had a difficult upbringing, but I'm not gonna be the one to compare whether or not hers was worse than Ward's. However, where we reach our first road block is that Sylvie has much less character traits than Ward. She's a lot simpler than him in terms of writing, but the creators act as though she's complex and conflicted when she's really not. That doesn't necessarily mean that she's a worse character. There's a lot the writers could do to improve on her or write her well. But they don't even try

Sylvie is not given anything new to do in season 2. Zilch. Nada. A big old goose egg. She could've been dealing with her conflicting feelings on killing He Who Remains, she could've picked up a new hobby or given a personal stake in all this Loom stuff. The writers could've written her so that she didn't know what she wanted since getting rid of HWO was her only task, and now that he's gone, she could go do what actually makes her happy. They had so many opportunities to expand upon her, but nope. She's just given a McDonald's uniform and ends up being the exact same person she was at the beginning of season 1. That's not growth. That's not anything

But hey, if they're not going to do anything with her, maybe they could try for a different angle in how others perceive her. Instead of always being seen as right, she could be seen as wrong in some instances. Fine, make her bitchy, but make it so that the characters call her out on it. Have the creator perception frame her as selfish and and rude. For example, instead of trying to justify her yelling at Mobius in episode 4, have Loki fire back. Say she held them up and only cares about herself in that fight. Say that for once, she should listen to others. Say that everyone has problems, yet they don't do her destructive actions and claim they're right. They didn't need to do the Grant Ward route on everything, but having a couple times where she is framed as him in AoS wouldn't be that bad

Sylvie is a badly-written bad character. Her lack of traits and staticness of arc make her come short compared to Ward, and the continued stubbornness of the creative team to always frame her as justified and right adds to this. I am not against tragic backstories, I am not against characters being bitchy, but I will always have a problem if they use said backstory as an excuse for everything they do

And if they do, then at least have the courtesy to write them well and for other characters to call them out

[666writingcafe]

An Interview With Simeon

Part Six

Question One: How do you feel right now?

A little tired, but otherwise okay.

Question Two: Would you rather live in the city or in the woods?

I find a lot more inspiration in the woods, plus there aren't nearly as many people. MC says that I'm an introvert because I get my energy from being alone, and I think they might be right. Not that there's anything wrong with groups of people; they just can be draining at times.

Question Three: Do you believe in soulmates?

Absolutely. But I don't believe in exclusivity. There are many types of soulmates, not just the romantic kind. Like, Luke and I are familial soulmates. I was meant to be his guardian, and he was meant to be my kid. *pauses* Don't tell Luke I said that. He hates it when I call him that.

Question Four: Who is the first person you call when you are happy or sad?

When I want to express good news, I call Raphael. He and I have grown fairly close since the war. But he's what I would call a fair-weather friend. He's made it clear that he doesn't want to hear about my struggles, and I've made peace with that. (So who do you call when you need to vent about something?) It depends on what it is. If I just want to gossip, then I reach out to Solomon, but if it's deeper and more existential, I call either MC or Mammon. MC is a great listener, and Mammon's been through a lot of the same things I have. Plus, he's actually willing to share his emotions with me, unlike a certain dark-haired demon I know.

Question Five: What makes you smile on bad days?

Luke and MC doing something together. They're quite cute.

Question Six: How would you feel if your daydreams became real?

In some ways, they already have. Unfortunately, I can't reveal much more than that, or I'd be in a lot of trouble.

Question Seven: What are you proud of right now?

I recently overcame a really bad case of writer's block.

Question Eight: What are you scared about not accomplishing in life?

Contentment.

Question Nine: What do you think about casual relationships and long-term relationships?

I think it's important to communicate those kind of boundaries upfront and check back in frequently to see if they need to change. Otherwise, the relationship isn't going to last, and one or both parties are going to be unhappy.

Question Ten: What do people say about you that you like?

Do you mind if I go on a bit of a tangent? (Does it pertain to the question?) Yes. (Then go ahead.) So, MC gives the best compliments. They have a way of looking deep inside someone's soul and saying what they need to hear. It can get very specific. (Give me an example.) MC once told me that the words I write rival the greatest pieces of art in the human world. They were reading a short story I wrote about nature, except nature was a metaphor for something--or rather, someone else. *pauses* Just thinking about it is making it hard for me to focus on this interview, and I'm sure you have more questions to ask, so we should move on.

Question Eleven: How would you define love?

What an...interesting question. *clears throat* I'd say love consumes you. You can feel it from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet, but its pull is strongest inside your heart. (Have you felt that way about someone before?) I feel that way about someone now, but to reveal who it is would cause an uproar. (Do they at least know how you feel?) Yes, and they've agreed to keep it private.

Question Twelve: How much value do you place on other people’s appreciation?

A lot more than I should. I'm not supposed to care too much about people's opinion of me, because my relationship with Father is suppose to supersede all of that.

Question Thirteen: Have you broken someone’s heart?

Yes.

Question Fourteen: What do you think about “love at first sight?”

I've seen it happen once. A bunch of us did, actually. (Was it during the initial exchange program?) *smiles* It was.

Question Fifteen: If you woke up tomorrow as a person of the opposite gender, what would you do?

The same stuff that I do now. I know, not very exciting. Technically, I could change my physical form to a person of the opposite gender if I wanted to. We only look this way as to not scare off humans. But I like my current appearance. I feel it matches how I feel on the inside.

Question Sixteen: What is the most ridiculous thing you have ever bought for yourself?

A 200 pack of glitter gel pens.

Question Seventeen: What was your last Doogle search?

As soon as I say it, you'll know exactly why I searched for it: "how to put out a magically-induced fire".

Question Eighteen: What do you think attracts people to you?

I'm able to appear calm and peaceful. It doesn't always reflect what I'm feeling, but that's a whole other story.

Question Nineteen: What color is your aura?

A light shade of baby blue.

Question Twenty: If the world ended tomorrow, would you survive?

With help, yes. If I was by myself, however...I don't think I'd last very long.

Question Twenty-One: If your house was on fire, what is the first thing you're grabbing?

Luke. Objects can be replaced. He can't.

Question Twenty-Two: If you could take your favorite celebrity on a date, where would you go?

They enjoy late-night picnics at the park. (You say that as though you've already been on a date with your favorite celebrity.) That's because I have. Several times, as a matter of fact. Although, their fame is subjective. They're not nearly as famous where they come from as they are here in the Devildom.

Question Twenty-Three: If you could shapeshift into an animal, which one would you be?

A human world Arctic fox.

Question Twenty-Four: If you could do anything without any judgment, what would you do right now?

It would require a hotel room with a magical lock on it, soundproof walls, and lots of...shall we say, supplies.

Question Twenty-Five: Do you easily get scared?

Not anymore. I used to, and then the war happened.

Question Twenty-Six: Can you keep a secret?

Can you? *awkward silence* (We should wrap this up.) Good idea.

Question Twenty-Seven: Have you ever felt tongue-tied on a date?

Yes.

Question Twenty-Eight: Can you spend a whole night awake?

I have many times before, and I probably will do many more times in the future.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch, @budbuddnbuddy

[asherthehimbo]

Sea sick (not the motion kind)

Jongho x Impliedmale! reader

notes: This is for @yourfatherlucifer . I hope you get better soon bro, sorry this isn't that long, I'm struggling with a bit of a writers block, but I hope this lives up to ur Jongho fluff standards🫶

Listen, you knew you should've listened to your boyfriend when he told you it was getting cold, but in your defense, the moment was just too beautiful to leave.

You and Jongho watching the sunset after a long day at the sea, feet buried under the sand, it would be a bitch to wash off later but at the time you were just enjoying yourself too much to care.

Light breeze on your face, the smell of the sea mixing with your boyfriend's cologne, the sound of waves calming you as your head lay on his chest, the sound of his breathing and heartbeat making you feel at home.

His hand tangled in your hair as he scratched your head in a soothing motion. "We're gonna get sick if we stay here any longer babe", he told you for about the 3rd time, you didn't care. "Just a few more minutes, Jjong. I like staying with you like this," you replied.

You were naive and stupid, now you're bedridden with a cold, and your boyfriend is laughing at you from across the room. "I told you, you were gonna get sick. But do you ever listen to me??? nooooo, now look at you, can't even stand up, " He said, fake pouting at the end as if mocking you.

He was right. You couldn't stand up without getting dizzy, but you could throw your pillow at him, which is exactly what you did, hitting him square in the face. "I may not be able to stand, but I can still hurt you"

Picking up the pillow that fell on the ground, he rubbed his nose before walking closer to you, helping to lift you up as he placed the pillow back underneath your head, making sure you were comfortable. "Sure babe, you're so strong even when you're sick, that definitely hurt very much, I totally learned my lesson" he chuckles as he tucks you back into bed, making sure you're rolled up like a baby in a blanket.

You could hear the playful sarcasm in his tone, but honestly didn't have the power to bite back, only responding with a groan and a mumble of "good" before closing your eyes.

"no, no sorry babe, You gotta open your eyes, can't sleep yet, you still need to eat something and drink your medicine" Jongho looks at you like a stern mother would her child, and honestly fair cause you were totally acting like one right now "But I'm tireeeeeed" you slur out looking up at him while pouting, if you weren't so sick this would be totally embarrassing. "I know, babe, but sleeping won't help if you don't get the necessary nutrients, I'll be back in a minute, okay?" he bends down to place a kiss on your forehead before quickly walking out of the room, returning with a tray that held a bowl of soup and your medicine.

He placed the tray down at your bedside table before helping you up just enough so that you could swallow things without choking "Come on, you only need to eat a little bit to be able to drink your medicine then you can sleep" he talked to you as if you were a child needing to be convinced to eat his vegetables.

He blew on the spoon to cool it down. Before bringing it to your mouth, you didn't protest. Your boyfriend was already taking care of you, and you didn't need to add more stress. The bowl had been about halfway done when you stopped him. Eating too much when you were sick made you nauseous, and Jongho understood that. He helped you drink your medicine before tucking you in again, standing up to put away the tray.

You hand shot out, grabbing the back of his shirt, stopping him from moving too far from the bed. "Can you stay with me? at least until I fall asleep? Pleass?" Jongho could never say no to you, not when you looked at him with those pleading eyes of yours. "I'm just gonna get the tray away, then I'll be right back, okay?" Your weak grip on his shirt faded as you retracted your hand, nodding your head as you struggled to keep your eyes open.

When he came back, he laid down next to you as you cuddled into him, head on his chest just like the night before at the beach, he kissed your head as his fingers trail patterns on your back, trying to distract you from the pain of your sickness. As you fall asleep, you think that you wouldn't have changed anything of the former night that led to this moment.

Because now you have a chance to lay in the arms of your beloved once again. His heartbeat lulling you to sleep with a melody that was uniquely his own.

bonus*

When you woke up the next morning, you had already felt better, of course you still weren't healthy, but you were getting better, although looking at the face of your sleeping boyfriend, cheeks red and feverish, you guessed this sickness is not leaving this household anytime soon.

Ateez masterlist | Home page

notes: everybody go show Felix all your support so that he gets better quickly! also, go read his works cause he's a great writer

[madcatlad]

I doubt Jesson intended it but... why do I keep running into this really heavy theme throughout mcd.

Hear me out:

Children turning out to be monsters despite their parents efforts.

Let's start of with the obvious red flags

Zenix.

It is implied that he was very young when he was taken in by Garroth. It is also said outright that he was a shadowknight even before that. The dark implication of this is that Zenix became a shadowknight at a young age (children becoming shadowknights is rarely mentioned within mcd, it notably is only implied with Zenix, and Alexis.) Garroth took Zenix under his wing, so much so the kid was literally described as like a son to Garroth. But despite his efforts Zenix betrayed Phoenix Drop. The way they address this issue stands out to me as multiple characters seem to describe Zenix as "already gone" from his arrival to Phoenix Drop. Even Laurence. Now one could chalk this up to Jess being unable or unwilling to truly address Zenix as a tragic character, and simply paint him as the conniving villain the series needed at the time (before Zane). And i think there is some truth to that. However the fact that Zenix' motives have remained notably undefined and his actions seem to contradict from what we are told about him so insistently. Even for Jessica this is a clear sign that something is up. "Already gone"... because my writer brain loves parallels I automatically connected it to (again) the only place that this idea is brought up in the series: Zane.

Zane.

Zane in mcd is evil, his motives also seem a little unclear at times, but this is because he characterized to be power hungry, unpredictable, and- undeniably evil. But was it always this way? Zane would prefer to watch the world burn than rule it. He seems to just hate people, so what terrible event caused such a terrible person? Nothing apparently. As said by Zianna, he was "always that way".

Zenix' "Already Gone" hits far too close to Zane's "Always That Way" for me. And the parallels don't end there, Zenix and Zane mirror one another in interesting ways. Both have familial-like attachment to Garroth, and their nature/motivation seems to torment and confuse him endlessly. They both became shadowknights (both were chosen by the shadow lord despite being outside of his usual "type" - Zane:At twink, Zenix:A child.) And they both seem to be obsessed with power, yet both have some kind of trauma surrounding people in power (Zane:Garte, Zenix:Implied to have been wronged by a lord in some way.) All this being said I have to point out Zenix and Zane both start with Z. They are the only ones aside from Zoey with a Z starting name, and since they already share so many qualities I can see this being a way for Jess to foreshadow this.

Garroth, like he did with Zenix, he questions what led Zane on his path but Zianna seems to put this idea to rest entirely, and her word is taken as fact. Which is fair the idea isn't too shocking, considering the kind of person Zane was. But the fact that even Garroth thought to question the cause of Zane's nature and is immediately shut down by Zianna, and then it is never mentioned again. It's just to reminiscent to how Garroth compartmentalized Zenix' downfall and never mentioned it again. It's just too close.

Zianna at the end of the day is Zane's mother, which one could argue that she knows him best, however parents can be blind to the trauma that young children might face and the results that this may cause. Important to note is that Zianna is likely a victim. A constant state of fight or flight could absolutely block her from realizing or addressing the effects of prolonged trauma in her children. In her mind she was taking the blunt of the rather, a shield between harm and her children, but as in most cases, and as shown in both Garroth and Vylad this was not the reality, so it would be easy to connected that this would be the same with the middle son, Zane.

But in the misfortune of her situation Zianna did the best that she possibly could. But Zane ended up the way he did anyway. The way that Zianna is characterized in her short time on screen really encapsulates the backbone of this concept. Her guilt, and her grief are so compelling, and the manner in which she rationalize her traumatic experience is very believable... but identifying a child who was raised in a household that actively encouraged cruelty as just "always like that" is very suspicious to me. And the strong thematic intersections aligning between Zenix and Zane makes me believe that there is something going on here.

Brian

Last but not least.

This reveal was unexpected but impactful. It was shocking because of this concept. Despite Molly's best efforts Brian became a traitor anyway.

It came alongside Zenix' in a way which I think is interesting. It was implied that they had some kind of relationship. And they both ended up betraying Phoenix Drop.

I wonder where this guy is now...

But some honorable mentions since this concept is interesting to me. (Most of the arcs were put aside so it is interesting to think where they could have gone considering the circumstances, so I'm connecting it to this mini-theory.)

Season 1, when Baby Alexis was turned into an adult SHADOWKNIGHT! She was returned to normal of course but still... is that a possible destiny for her to be weary of?

Leona. Kiki is so sweet, and a great mom, bit... there is too much mystery and unanswered questions surrounding this child of her's. (Why did Zane even do this?) She is somewhat implied to kinda-but-not-really be Zane's? Regardless of the reality one way or another she is a result of Zane, a pawn in his plot, maybe one that died with him, maybe one that returned with him, we don't know.

Considering this thematic presence throughout MCD I wonder where this would have led in season three. It would be interesting if this heavier side to the series continued. Especially since Aphmau is raising the heir to a destroyer's relic. If this theme is to be believed then where would that lead to in Alina's destiny?

"Minecraft Diaries: Son and Daughters"

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46724815

[hells-sirenqueen]

roleplayer name: Xixi

roleplayer pronouns: She/Her

muse name(s): @hells-sirenqueen:

Hazbin Lilith -Lilith Morningstar (og/ show canon) -Albedo as alt fc -Sinner Snake Queen Lilith ( Unholy Crusade verse) -Queen Lilith Aradat Demonica (Dark Lilith - Failed Cycle Lilith/ Vampire UC Verse) ------ @baphomet-slumber-queen Belphegor - fc Gaap (Umineko)

-Frequent side muse Bethany ( paralysis demon) - fc Demon form Catherine. --- @cannibalxroses Overlord Rosie (Hartfelt. Married in UC verse to @/radioiaci and has taken his last name.) ----- @fxiled-fxithful Angela Blanc/ Ash Landers -Versed in Black Butler / Obey Me! / Hellverse -Primary focus is the Unholy Crusade Event/Verse & Aus associated

--------- @forgottenxsoldier Marie Hellverse OC (Former) Exorcist Angel

preferred communication: Honestly? Discord. I jump from one blog to another frequently depending on the muse I am feeling. So discord is the way to go. If you would like my discord and we are mutuals, please feel free to ask for it.

experience: Oh boy. So far as writing online, I've been rping since 2012. Started on Facebook, then slowly moved onto here and then to Twitter and then discord. Lately I've been mostly on here and discord though.

preferred roleplay type: I'm a hopeless romantic. I mean, I draft poems and romantic shit all the time. There is a writing partner of mine, whom I have a server with. We leave each other IC poetry for our characters and honestly it gives me life. I actually wrote a fic with them this past summer with our characters leaving love letters for one another. It was super sweet. (It was for Lucian x Shauntal. You can find it here if you're interested in reading it. I wrote for Shauntal.) But I am usually found writing some sort of angst or flirty/romantic scene. I'm..not the best at fight scenes, but with the UC verse, I've had to step out of that comfort zone a lot. It can get OP and Godmodding very quickly. I honestly hate it. There are some exceptions though. Like, if I am actively talking to my writing partner about the fight and what would seem fair, I'm down with the fight. Overall though? I just really don't see much appeal to being aggressive in writing.

pet peeves & dealbreakers:Lack of communication between replies for threads. If there isn't an ideal goal or direction that a thread is meant to steer towards or enough ooc conversation to keep all parties involved for the thread, things can get messy or even cause a bit of a writer's block for other parties involved. I know I offer to change my replies often if it doesn't work out well for my partner, but I'm well aware that there are writers out there who won't. Just keeping an open mind and open line of communication out of character goes a long way. It irks me when I have to deal with those who aren't. Thankfully I haven't had to deal with that in this RPC, but I have had to deal with it before.

best time to write: Late in the evening. Usually around 9-11pm EST. I'm usually mobile but if I have a thread that is important enough to be concerned about, I will relocate to my laptop if needs be.

are you like your muse?: I'd like to think I see a little bit of myself in each of my muses.

I'm always prejudged without anyone getting a chance to know me like Lilith, I have a terrible love/hate relationship with sleep like Belphie and I can be snarky like Bethany. I do love to gossip like Rosie and I have a bestie I talk to every so often to share the tea with. ( Lookin' at you @alteregozowie) I can be a devout friend like Angela and at times, I tend to have a similar temper that Ash has. But most of the time I feel like Marie. A clueless person who has no idea what the hell is going on and feeling like an absolute airhead 85% of the time.

Tagged by : @hells-greatestdad

Tagging: @mages-pandoras-box, @radioiaci, @radi0activesmile, @primordialruin, @sirserpentine, and anyone else who wants to

[sullina]

hey

are you someone who would like to write but can't seem to get started? Despite being at no loss of ideas?

Here's a tip. Especially for your first work and especially the first draft.

forget originality

that sounds mean now, but listen: every concept imaginable has been done by someone before. There will always be unoriginal concepts in every single work.

But that doesn't make these concepts bad

Because what actually matters is how you use them.

So if you're trying to write something, one of the best first steps you can take is probably just getting laid out what you want to write. Like, what concepts do you want in your work? What things did you like from other works? What characters from other works do you like, and why?

For your very first draft, when you're just starting out, it's perfectly fine to borrow building blocks from others.

Because here's a little secret: unless you're copying one single media word for word, those building blocks will rarely look the same after you've written down your idea and trying to fit everything together.

it's 100% fair to take concepts from other works and use them in your own writing. Because over the course of actually writing your own story, you will also make those borrowed concepts your own.

Sure, it's been done before...

but no one's done it like you yet.

And here's a second tip: if an idea you had or concept you like doesn't work for the thing you're writing anymore, it's okay to let go.

You don't have to throw it out completely, but maybe put it on the shelf for now. Once you're further along with your writing, you might just see the perfect opportunity to reintroduce it in a new way.

I wouldn't call myself an experienced writer just yet, but if there's one thing I've learned already, it's that crafting a story is NOT a straight line. There's bumps and sometimes you go in circles, and then there might be a point where you have an absolute genius idea or you realize that something you already wrote is an amazing setup for this next thing.

So it's not linear. At all. But you have to keep going.

Not everything you write is gonna make it into the final work, but it's still important that you write it. Because you can't make a thing without going through the process of making it. Fails and dropped ideas are as much part of this process as every success and genius idea.

And one final tip for you. Choose a medium to write in that you actively like doing, and doing a lot. By this i mean: writing on your computer is convenient for sure, but it's not the only way to write.

I've found that I fucking love writing by hand with a fountain pen, and it's something that I can do for hours at a time. And don't get me wrong, I do like typing on a computer and I'm not half bad at it, but going back to fix typos? Super annoying. it's fine if I'm making a short tumblr post like this (though i probably have a different definition of "short" than most people), but the outline of my current work in progress is almost 80 pages now. if that were digital, it would probably be more like... 40 pages or something, depending on the font and size, but my point is that digital typing, while convenient, is also annoying to me, personally.

And, ironically, also too quick. I like to think as I write and with digital typing, i have to focus too much on actually typing, but when I'm handwriting, i don't have that problem. I can go relatively quick and it's not like I don't make typos while handwriting, but crossing out one letter and putting the correct one over it is much faster than having to backspace and re-write an entire word (I could use the arrow keys but like. who has the damn time. too fiddly.)

My point here is not that digital writing is terrible and sucks, my point is that if you're gonna write, then you're gonna be doing the action of writing a whole damn lot, so make sure you can do it as comfortably as possible. For me, that's handwriting, for you, it might not be.

...if there's anyone who WILL spring for handwriting though, let me give you one final piece of advice: it might be wise to not go for pretty notebooks, for fear of "ruining" them. I knew this from myself already, so i instead went for regular notebooks, the kind that i used to use for school. The paper is good quality and the fountain pen that I have feels so nice when writing on it. You might think "but that's just small stuff!" and yeah it is, but small stuff can quickly become very very big stuff if it's building up over months or years.

[coffeetailor]

GTober Day Three: Candle

(A/N: Took some time off for my birthday. So that's why this is posting late.)

Sure, opposite day wasn't really a thing in Ancient China. Wasn't even really a thing in modern China unless you counted on the internet, but sometimes an author got bored or ran into writer's block and started researching random shit, okay? It kept the words going and that meant it kept his rent paid and food on the desk. (Because be realistic, he never actually ate at the sad excuse for a table he'd shoved into the corner of the 'kitchen' part of his apartment.) He'd had the idea of a silly little spell that could flip things around for a limited period of time, good for a rare reverse harem scene where Binghe had gotten a little taste of his own talents for once until the cursed necklace broke and the orgy reversed course. Not really a fan favorite, but there'd been a lot of fanart drawn of the scene.

Shang Qinghua hadn't counted on running into it while looking for an entirely different cursed necklace that his king wanted for some reason. And to be fair, nothing had happened when he'd picked it up and hauled it back to the northern palace. The one he'd been looking for was supposed to drink your blood if you wore it on the full moons, but in return would direct you to a treasure trove. Pretty light in terms of curse territory, really. And surprisingly non-sexy. And who would have guessed that... he might have re-used the same design on at least a dozen magical pieces of jewelry over the years he'd been writing the book.

His king had put on the necklace, Shang Qinghua ready to jump if it drank too much blood. But nothing happened.

At least, not until his king vanished between one heartbeat and the next, his empty clothes dropping to the ground without a body to support them.

He stared in horror at the place Mobei-Jun had stood. Had he just killed his king?! A curl of smoke rose up as if to drive in the point, and the author followed it down to the pile of royal silks and furs... Which had started to burn.

"No no no..." Shang Qinghua whimpered, diving forward. He slapped at the flames to put them out before they could engulf Mobei's clothes, but every time he put one part out it seemed like another would start to burn as he panicked. And then he felt a burning on his hand itself and jerked back with a yelp, tears coming to his eyes. "Noo..."

"Qinghua!"

He froze, still clutching his injured hand. "My king?" Did he become a ghost right away? Was he trapped in an alternate world? "Where are you?"

"Down. Here."

Shang Qinghua looked down, but all he saw were the still burning clothes.

"I don't see you, my king," he said with a hiccup, shaking his head. "Are you haunting me?"

A sudden flare of heat to his kneecap made the author let out another yelp and swat at his knees to put out what had to be the flames moving to his clothes. He didn't want to die too!

But when his hand landed, there was something small and solid between his palm and clothed knee. Small, solid, and moving. And strong, shoving his hand up before Shang Qinghua lifted it himself to face the angry blue eyes of his king.

"My- my king?" he whispered, forgetting the pain as disbelief and relief fought over his nervous system.

Mobei-Jun had been changed. Where the demon had been large and cold... he was now small and hot. So very small, and very hot. Standing in the middle of a little flame that burned around him kind of hot. Staring at him, the realization of what he'd just been trying to do sunk in and his eyes flew wide.

"Please, I beg your forgiveness my king! I didn't know it was you setting the fires! The necklace must have been switched with the cursed charm of opposites at some point, or I never would have presented it without warning. Please forgive your worthless servant for this oversite. I do happen to know that the effects should only be temporary and will wear off after a day or two."

"A day or two?" the demon repeated with a growl, staring up at him. Being surrounded by fire was... terrifying. No matter that he would never put such a thought to words. He was an ice demon. There were reasons why his servant's deception had worked so well against his uncle before. And then being so small on top of it. How was he going to rule his kingdom or protect his cultivator and future spouse like this?

"Yes, I'm sorry my lord, but of the ways to break the curse of opposites, that's the only one I can think of as viable! You'd burn anyone who tried to cure it physically," Shang Qinghua said. He started to wring his hands before flinching as he was reminded of the burn.

Seeing the flinch made Mobei feel a little guilty, even though the wound had been made trying to survive. He'd promised not to hurt him again. Taking a deep breath (that made the little flame flicker larger for a moment), he reached for the calm that usually served him well. "What do we need to do?"

"Well, you're a flame demon until it wears off it looks, so we have to keep your flames fed. Bigger the fire, bigger you. But if it wears off early, it wouldn't be safe to make a bonfire and have you return to your ice demon self in the middle!" Shang Qinghua said, talking them both through it at the same time. It kept him from panicking, which would not be useful for his king. "But rest assured, I have an idea that should keep you going for hours at a time."

A candle. His idea was a candle, bringing it to the little flame demon and tilting it down so the wick could be reached. Mobei-Jun studied it wearily before grabbing the wax-stiffened wick to pull himself up. The little flame around him flared as Shang Qinghua brought it back upright before settling into what would have been a normal, if maybe somewhat large, candle flame. Except for the demon in the middle of it, that was.

"I'll find you a better candle as soon as I can, my king," the author promised, cupping his hand around back of the candle as he climbed up to his feet, protecting it from any stray breezes that could risk blowing it out. He didn't want to find out how quickly a flame demon died when put out when said demon was Mobei-Jun! "This was just the first one I saw when I was looking, and this servant didn't want to make you wait too long."

Mobei scowled up at him. Which... wasn't quite as intimidating as it normally was. His king was smaller around than his fingers after all! And now that he had enough focus to actually study him... completely naked.

The realization made him blush and look away, telling himself the excuse that staring at fire too long was obviously bad for your eyes, and he had to watch where he was going as he slipped out of Mobei's study and headed right for his rooms. One of the few places in the northern palace that actually was built for heat and had a good supply of lamps and candles! And some of the best locks in the palace, which had been for his safety originally, but now Shang Qinghua activated them once they were inside to keep anyone from coming in and seeing his king in a vulnerable position.

Setting the candle down carefully, he hurried to start digging into his chest of supplies. "One moment, my king. This servant should have something with a longer burn time. Or even multiple wicks! Those have bigger flames so you won't have to stay so small. Though you're kind of cute like that..." The last part, of course, he muttered to himself as he continued to dig. "And a prettier holder!"

"Qinghua."

It was just too bad that he couldn't touch him without getting burnt, because he just bet that Mobei's skin would feel all soft like this, and he could poke and prod him without fear of being turned into a popsicle.

"Qinghua."

On the other hand, he couldn't give him any clothes either, because he didn't have anything fireproof and anything else would just burn off as soon as it was given over.

"Shang Qinghua!"

He jumped, hissing when the lid was jostled enough to bring it down on his head. Shang Qinghua turned around, rubbing what was sure to be a lump soon. "Yes, my king?"

The demon pointed across the room towards the bed piled high in furs. Or, more precisely, at the glass lantern that sat on the table beside it, a deep blue candle sitting inside. "That one."

Shang Qinghua blinked, looking between them. "That one, my king? But it's an old lantern and not even a fresh candle. Surely this servant can find something better for you."

Mobei-Jun shook his head. "It's the most suitable. I will rest on that candle. And no other. Will you deny this king?"

The author sighed. He'd liked that little lantern! It'd been one of the things he'd actually brought from his leisure house when Mobei had given him a room in the northern palace. Even if he didn't quite remember where he'd gotten it from. It wasn't exactly shiny and new, but there was a pretty frost and flower pattern in the metal and etched into the glass. And the glass sides had meant he didn't worry so much about falling asleep reading to its light. "Of course, my king."

He fetched the lantern from his side table and brought it over, opening the little glass door so Mobei could move from one candle to the other, watching to make sure he was settled before putting out the first candle. "Where would you like this servant to place you for the night, my king? Some privacy can be arranged if you'd like."

"Back where it was," Mobei-Jun said after a moment. He wouldn't say it, but he wanted the cultivator close. Even if he couldn't touch him without hurting him at the moment. And he'd promised himself he wouldn't hurt him again. "You should remain close until I return to my correct form."

Shang Qinghua felt a warmth climbing up into his cheeks, nodding his head as he picked up the lantern, king and all, to bring back to his bedside table. "Can this servant get you anything else, my king?"

"No. This king will meditate for now. You may rest."

"Thank you, my king." Permission given, he gathered together his sleeping robes, stepping behind a privacy curtain to change. Obviously he wouldn't be returning to his office to do any more work that night. Perhaps tomorrow he could carry Mobei with him? Or bring his paperwork in to work at his personal desk. Wrapping his hand before taking down his hair to comb out for bed, he felt eyes on him from across the room with the kind of intensity that made him squirm even without needing to look over his shoulder. Shang Qinghua quickly braided his hair and returned to the bed. "If you feel yourself growing, please wake this servant. I would hate for you to have to break out of the lantern. It's my favorite."

Mobei-Jun nodded his head, eyes closed as if he'd never been watching him. Ha. You aren't that subtle, my king. "This king will do so."

"And if you need anything else too! Especially if the candle gets low," he pressed on, pulling back the thick layer of furs so he could slid under. "Anything my king needs."

The small demon huffed, his flame flaring. "Sleep, Qinghua."

"Right, right, of course," the author said quickly. He automatically started to reach to blow the lantern out, jerking his hand back as his brain caught up. Right, can't do that. Instead, he laid down and turned his back to Mobei-Jun, closing his eyes to further block out the light. "Goodnight, my king."

Mobei didn't answer, watching the back of his servant's head, the only part he could see, until Shang Qinghua's breathing finally evened out. Despite the situation, he once again felt a little smugness. Clearly, he'd been wise in his choice. Both in giving the gift, and choosing his place to rest for the night. While it was a pity that he couldn't touch the human, the chance to watched him so close, and see him so unguarded...

Perhaps he would have to become cursed more often.

[daisyssousa]

Hi. I hope you don't mind me asking your opinion, as a disabled person, about comments I've seen about Sousa's new prosthetic. I realize no group is a monolith, so you won't provide THE difinitive answer, but I would like hear from someone who actually lives through it.

So, why is Sousa's new prosthetic considered ableist but his old prosthetic was not? Is it because his disability is no longer obvious? But if the new prosthetic works better, why is that a bad thing? Sorry, I guess that's three questions. I really hope this didn't come off offensive, I genuinely just want to understand.

I hope your having a great day and have fun blocking the anti-Dousy trolls😊

Hi there! <333 Thank you very much for the question! It's not offensive at all!

As you pointed out, we're not a monolith, so I definitely can't speak for every disabled person out there, nor am I trying to! If someone is legitimately offended, they completely have a right to their feelings. I'm also not an amputee, so I can't speak to that either.

I think there are some people who feel that because his new prosthetic made it so that he can walk completely normally, they feel like it's erasing his disability. There are a few reasons I heavily disagree with this mindset:

It doesn't erase his disability at all: He will still have to care for his leg the same way he would with any other prosthetic. He will still have to keep it clean and take care of the skin to keep from getting it irritated, injured, or infected. He will have to keep up care of his remaining leg muscles too to be able to use it. It's mechnical and electronic, so the prosthetic itself will require maintinence and upkeep as most tech does. It's not going to be like poof! His leg is magically healed! When you get down to it: his new leg is still not his real leg.

I do think there is room for criticism in the sense that Agents of Shield didn't show this on screen. In fairness, perhaps they thought in showing Coulson and Yoyo previously struggling with their prosthetics, they thought maybe it would be enough since season 7 was already crammed. I do think they should've given us at least a little something though. But still: it didn't erase Coulson or Yoyo's disabilities, so it wouldn't erase Sousa's either.

Technological advances: With all the technological advances of the Marvel world and all of Fitzsimmons' inventions, giving Sousa a high tech prosthetic is completely within reason. It isn't like the Agents of Shield writers magically pulled special technology out of nowhere to specifically "erase" his disability, there was already a precendent set with Coulson and Yoyo (and Bucky Barnes). And also LMDs. Even Daisy's gaunlets are prosthetics in a way, since they keep her bones from breaking when she quakes.

If they'd retconned his missing leg or used some kind of hand-wavy magic to get it back, then yeah I could see the argument. But that's not what happened.

Real world technological advancements are catching up too: there are already prosthetics in development that use the electrical impulses of the brain to move the prosthetic limb and allow the person to feel sensations! There are also battery powered mechnical ones. Should real amputees be barred from using these because it "erases" their struggle? No. (btw I am not aiming this at you anon, this is me speaking in general! <3)

Sousa's wish to walk again is in character: Sousa expressed in episode 2x08 of Agent Carter: "I know desperation. You know what I'd give to be able to walk again? A lot." He even uses the word "desperate." This is fulfilling a character trait he had in Agent Carter. It didn't come from Agents of Shield. He wants to be able to walk and is accepting of the prosthetic.

It grants him more freedom of movement and less pain: Especially considering they were in the middle of a dangerous mission, giving him more movement and less pain to hinder him is extremely helpful. And in general, why shouldn't he be able to use something that helps him be in less pain and do more every day? No one should be forced to struggle just to prove they're disabled! (Again not directed at you anon, in general <3)

Anyway, my brain is turning a bit mushy, but I hope this helps you anon! <333

[caspersickfanfics]

sad writer rambles under the cut, feel free to ignore !!

it really messes with my head that i used to get so many more interactions on my old blog(s). not just likes, but reblogs and asks were much easier to come by.

and look— i know, logically, that there are so many explanations for this that have nothing to do with the quality of my writing.

i had more followers then, so i'd established myself and managed to find my audience. rationally, i think this explains a good part of it!!!

i was writing for different fandoms, too, so audience demographics were different - maybe people in those fandoms had more time, back then, maybe there were simply more fans to cater to, maybe the culture of those fandoms was more interactive generally.

this website was very different then! that was over 5 years ago, of course things have changed. internet culture as a whole has changed drastically!

probably other things that haven't even crossed my mind!

i'm writing this list out to try to persuade myself - because it feels like no amount of reason can actually convince my brain. my brain thinks it's all because my writing has gotten worse. it's sooooo frustrating. and it's not like people haven't expressed that they like my writing recently!!! they have!!!!!!! and i always hold those kind words so close to my heart, and i go back to them frequently.

but there's always this little voice in my head that wants me to think even those very, very kind people could be lying to me, just saying things to be nice, whatever. and then i feel awful for doubting anyone!!! i know it isn't productive or fair!!! but i don't know what to do about it, and i need to do something about it because this is the exact kind of thinking that gives me writer's block, and i'll do a lot to avoid that.

i know this comes from my own insecurities about writing, at least. they're not new, exactly, but they didn't used to be so intense or constant. so i'm not sure how to stop feeling insecure about my work all the time. i didn't used to care about interactions so much, either, because i'd write stuff that i liked to read - so even if other people didn't like it, i did. i keep trying to do that; i'm writing fandoms i love, fics i want to read, etc., but it just never seems to work. i'm always disappointed with what i end up with. maybe, rather than getting worse at writing, my expectations for myself have risen, but my abilities haven't.

i've ended up in this weird headspace of - i could crank out low-quality fics so quickly if i didn't care about them and they'd probably get similar interactions and i'd be less disappointed with myself because i'd have lower expectations at least 😂 or maybe i should take more time with my fics in the hopes that i actually improve to the point that i can be even a little bit happy with what i create.

if anyone does have thoughts/suggestions, please feel free to share! i really am looking for solutions here - i've mulled this over myself for so long and come up empty, so new input is definitely welcome!! if anyone reads this and has nothing to say, that's also absolutely okay. it was helpful for me to write this, already, just to get some thoughts out, and tomorrow i'll look it over again and see if reflecting on it after some rest can help me figure things out.

[wheels-of-despair]

Hands to Yourself Pairing: Michael (Hoard) x You Summary: Michael can't keep his hands to himself... so you're gonna teach him how, whether he likes it or not. Contains: Domme reader who is well above the age of consent, Michael being handsy and annoying, bondage, teasing, begging, kink-related threats, learning lessons the hard way. Words: 1.3k Youths and ageless blogs, DNI. Writer will block your ass.

"Fuck off, I've gotta get to work."

You're at the bathroom mirror, trying to finish your make-up so you can hit the road. But large hands knead at your breasts from behind, and a warm mouth attaches itself to the side of your neck. You don't have time for distractions today.

You put down your compact and smack one of his hands. He's made you forget the next step in your morning routine. He kneads harder and nips at your neck in retaliation.

"Get off, I've gotta go."

"Get me off, and I'll let you go."

You laugh. That's not how this works.

"You had your chance, hot shot, and you blew it. Now quit pawing at me, I've got shit to do."

"S'not fair," he whines, somehow finding your nipples through a shirt and a padded bra.

"Then I guess you should've stopped drinking last night before the whiskey dick set in, huh?"

"Shut up," he mumbles into your neck, pressing you against edge of the sink and rocking his hips into you so you can feel his erection.

"Excuse me?"

His big brown eyes finally meet yours in the mirror. Even through the lust clouding them, you can see that your tone has scared him. He's stopped moving. Good.

You spin around. He drops his hands and looks sheepish.

"Tell you what, pretty boy," he perks up at this. You hold his chin between your thumb and forefinger and make him look at you. "When I get home tonight, I'll think about giving you what you want." His eyes light up. "After I teach you a lesson about keeping your hands to yourself." He bites his lip.

You lurch forward for a quick kiss while his brain swirls, then side-step him and continue getting ready for work.

"Please," he begs later that night. "Please stop torturing me."

"Aw, poor baby," you laugh. "I haven't even started torturing you yet."

He flails the best he can, for being tied spread-eagled to the bed. You haven't even touched him since you put the cock ring on. You're sitting between his spread legs, fully clothed, watching him squirm under your gaze. He looks positively miserable.

You were 3 minutes late for work this morning, and had to put on mascara in the car. He earned it.

"Please," he whines again.

"Please what?"

"Please just fucking touch me!"

"Is that how we ask for things? That didn't sound very polite."

He throw his head back and groans, and you try not to let your face show how much you're loving this.

"Please, will you touch me?"

"Touch you where?"

He huffs out an angry breath.

"Please, will you touch my cock?"

"Must you be so vulgar in my presence? I am a lady, you know."

He lifts his head and slams it back against the pillow, letting out an agonized groan. You laugh at him, and decide you're ready to play. You slowly crawl over him, careful not to touch his throbbing cock, and kiss a light trail up his stomach. He squirms, but knows better than to try to rut up into you.

"You know your little distraction made me late this morning?" you ask, before giving his nipple a gentle tug with your teeth. He hisses.

"M'sorry."

"Really? Doesn't sound like it." You roll his nipple between your teeth, and he quivers.

"I'm gonna…"

"No, you're not." You sit back up on your knees and watch him leak.

"Baby, please."

"Don't you 'baby, please' me. What did I say I was gonna do to you tonight?"

"Teach me a lesson," he hisses through clenched teeth.

"About what?"

"Keeping my hands to myself."

"That's right. I guess I should probably lead by example. I'll be keeping my hands to myself tonight, too."

He thrusts his rigid cock into nothing in another pathetic flail.

When he stops moving, you stand and slowly strip to your underwear. He gives you his full attention as you unhook your bra and let it fall to the floor.

Clad in nothing but panties, you crawl between his spread legs again. Sitting on your knees, you cover your tits with your hands and knead like he had earlier that morning.

He whines.

"What's the matter?" you ask patronizingly, not stopping your movements.

He glares at you and jerks at his restraints.

"Careful, or you'll bruise."

"I need you."

"I need you to behave."

"I ammm," he whines, drawing the word out.

"Whining is not behaving, Michael."

You place your palms on the mattress on either side of his hips and lean over him. He could rut up into you and make contact right now, and probably cum instantly. But he knows better.

You crawl up him slowly, letting your heavy breasts graze his glistening skin occasionally. When you look down into his eyes, his desperation nearly breaks your resolve.

And then he lifts his head and takes your nipple in his mouth. You let him suck hungrily for a moment before pulling away and looking down at him in disappointment.

"Did I say you could do that?"

His bottom lip juts out in a pout.

"And you were so close to getting what you wanted," you say regretfully, lifting yourself off him. He wasn't, but he didn't need to know that.

"Nooo," he whines, trying to reach for you even though he's still tied.

The phone rings, providing a perfect excuse to let him stew a little longer. You walk toward the door, then turn back to him. "Don't go anywhere," you wink.

You can hear the bed creaking from his angry flailing as you go to answer it with a grin.

It's a telemarketer, but you decide to make him wait anyway.

When you return, he's nearly in tears. You'd planned on taking your time with him tonight and making him suffer, but you're starting to feel the need for release too. Might as well.

"Alright," you sigh. "You're just so pathetic, I can't stand watching you beg anymore."

His eyes sparkle, thinking you're finally going to get him off. It's like he doesn't know you at all.

You untie one of his hands, then make yourself comfortable in a chair beside the bed.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"What was today's lesson?"

His brow furrows as he thinks about it. "Keeping my hands to myself?"

"Good boy. Go on, then."

"I can…?"

"Go on."

He reaches down hesitantly, eyes on you, like it's a trick. He pauses when his hand gets close, still unsure. You glance at the clock.

"You have two minutes."

His fist closes around his aching member and begins pumping as though his life depends on it. You know he won't need a full two minutes, so you tease him while you can.

"Does that feel good?"

He grunts.

"Don't you wish that was my hand? Or my mouth? Or my warm, wet cunt? Too bad you fucked up and made me late this morning, huh?"

His breath grows more ragged. Sweat beads on his forehead.

"Clock's ticking. Do you want to know what's gonna happen if you don't finish in time?"

He whines. You lean forward, purposely pressing your tits together with your arms. He stares at them and licks his lips as he jerks away.

"I'm gonna tie your hand back up," you purr, "and you're gonna lay there all night like a worthless little whore. Hard and alone. Nobody to touch you, or listen to you beg, or…"

His body tenses, and he sprays the sheets that he'll be changing as soon as you untie him.

You sit back and watch him come down with a smirk on your face. You wonder if you should tie his hand back up before you slide your panties off and take care of yourself. Maybe you'd stuff them in his mouth to drown out his whining. Or perhaps, if he asked nicely, you'd leave his hand free and let him get off again while he watched you.

For this, you've got all the time in the world.

[ladyluscinia]

Ok one last dip into "the Izcourse" before I take my own advice and pivot to rewatching S1 in prep and posting about what I love!

We get a lot of trolls, and harassers, and staunch antis looking to pick a fight with the "bad fans" who either drop bait or jump on people's posts to be annoying. That's the flame war part of all this mess. But we also get a fair number of posts from "neutral" people that I want to gripe about for a moment because at least the antis are misrepresenting "what Izzy fans believe / discuss" because they are actively against my take on the show for whatever reason. But it's more annoying to me personally when it's just... a lack of effort.

(And I've mentioned this before)

Like... a "neutral" observer weighing in on "The Izcourse" is a member of the general fandom who doesn't care enough about Izzy to really be an anti. Their perspective on the matter is coming from directly or indirectly following people in the antis' main meta circle. We know this, because just about every neutral person who was not from this background got classified as an Izzy apologist / problematic Edward thoughtcrimer and they are counted as in "the Canyon" now. We watched it happen a lot over the past year and a half. So the observer is not neutral, not really, but they probably aren't heavily blocking / blocked if they don't care and don't talk about Izzy.

Which makes it so frustrating when they feel the need to bring up "concerning" trends among Izzy fans and their interpretations and then they don't know what those interpretations are.

Like - in the most patient tone I can possibly manage - scrolling a bit of the Izzy Hands tag and taking fans squeeing about their blorbo as evidence there is no nuance in meta and too much babygirlifying here is dumb as fuck. Hell, even isolating a recent meta post and going "well I don't agree with this because XYZ" is still very much a "so what?" situation because that one person is not representing all Izzy fans? And also you still have a huge blind spot.

Because meta is - at its core - a collaborative structure.

You can't experience a particular branch of meta primarily through people vaguing or screenshotting and dunking on whatever looks the worst, then skim a little bit of a tag and be able to confidently call out what the "problematic trends" are. You can't even understand where the random meta you singled out is coming from, because you don't know which posts they've been looking at for over a year. And this is all really highlighted by the fact when you go to dissect that post you disagree with, you'll do it by just saying things that you understand to be established, well-defended facts from your own circle of meta and not back them up at all. Because in your mind you don't need to! And yet the post you're disagreeing with won't make sense because they are just assuming things and talking about this fanon version of Izzy you don't recognize. 🤷‍♀️

(This is why my typical meta post is linking to three separate discussions, lol. I'm building off of things said before like basically every meta writer, but I want those things referenced.)

If you aren't going to actually put in the effort to identify which blogs are the "major players" and then go back through tags or their popular posts or whatever to get an actual idea of what the meta structure Izzy Canyon has spent over a year discussing contains, then at least don't disparagingly comment on those people and discussions while lumping them into one "problematic" hive mind??? You don't know what you're talking about because you didn't care, and that's whatever. Just please stop confidently conflating random blog #7's generally happy post about how "i can't wait for my fave little guy to have friends 💕" with a concerning lack of discussions on Izzy's relationship with the crew.

My "#ofmd meta" tag - among others - is full of almost exclusively Izzy Canyon blogs writing complex posts about all sorts of things from romcom genre conventions to POC fans' takes on Edward's cptsd, and it's beyond annoying to see them repeatedly insinuated to have the depth of a puddle because the antis prefer to pile on a headcanon about Izzy reading and turn it into an insult to Edward's intelligence, and all the "neutral" blogs take it as gospel.

[practically-an-x-man]

🎭 😍 🗺 🔨 🙈

Thank you so much!! <3333

You didn't specify an OC, so I'll answer this for Jasper!

A Sort of Whumpy Writer's Block Ask Game

🎭 Can you envision your OC in an alternate universe? What au would you choose and what role would they be in that world?

I think Jasper as a character could fit into pretty much any universe I decided to place them in - they don't have any attributes that are a hundred percent stuck on AHS Coven, and while I may have to change details here and there depending on which world I put them in, I don't see any real hitches in putting them in another universe.

On the one hand, this makes them very versatile! But on the other hand... I don't really have a particular idea for what alternate universe to fit them into

😍 What made you truly fall in love with your OC and made you want to continue their story?

Right from the beginning, I just really fell in love with Jasper's view on the world. I always have so much fun writing their empathic sense, but even from a more mundane perspective, their traits and personality are so incredibly dynamic to me and I think they have such a unique view on the world. The more I wrote for Jasper, the more I wanted to explore their view on the world!

🗺 Is there some place your OC would love to go or something your OC would love to do but likely could never happen within the boundaries of your story?

I think they'd definitely want to go on some romantic overseas vacation with Kyle, but given their financial constraints and the fact that Kyle is legally dead (not as much a problem in day-to-day work, but much more of an issue once passports and international travel come into play), that's probably not going to happen any time soon.

🔨 Are there any whump tropes that you'd love to see your OC's reactions to even though you couldn't or wouldn't put it into your actual story for whatever reason?

Jasper's story is going to be very emotionally-heavy, but it's really Kyle that will go through the more whumpy themes - Jasper is placed in reaction to it, which is also very powerful, but they rarely end up in particular physical danger themself. I do think that putting Jasper through some physical whump of their own would be interesting, especially in a way that might relate to or subvert the things that happened to Kyle.

🙈 What, if any, aspect of your OC is a little slice of you put down on paper? A little quirk, personality trait, mannerism, view of the world, etc.?

Honestly, there's a fair bit of myself reflected in Jasper! We're both very much punk/alt and aren't afraid to show that off. I'm genderqueer and there's some fluidity in that for me, and Jasper's genderfluid. I have a strong interest in anatomy and medicine and would have wound up in a medicine-related field if I'd continued with college, and Jasper is a trauma nurse. I've always been interested in roller derby, but haven't yet had the chance to try it out myself, so Jasper reflects that for me.

There's even a little piece of Jasper that reflects me on a more emotional level: they're an outwardly punk, outwardly queer person, who normally ends up attracted to dorky cis guys- who may or may not be understanding about their being queer or the other intricacies of their identity. I've gone through that a lot with my personal romantic life, and Jasper finding such an unshakably loving, understanding partner in Kyle is a bit of escapism/hopefulness for me. I really, really hope I can find someone who I can bond with the way Jasper bonds with Kyle - where I don't have to shave down who I am for the sake of a romantic partner, where I can be fully comfortable and genuine and know that those aspects of my identity won't chase them away.