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coffeetailor · 2 months ago
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"Small Matters Extras" Chapter 4: The Superior Father
Summary: What do you do when someone who turns out to be the creator god of the universe calls you his son?
More importantly, what do you do when you pick up on how much they're actually a lot like you?
Luo Binghe wasn't sure he remembered the An Ding disciples being nearly so bold when he'd been a student. They might have done their share of glaring, but typically behind someone's back. And typically not directly at someone they knew to be a demon lord. That didn't mean they were particularly eager to actually approach, of course, just that they didn't bother hiding the fact that they drew straws to pick who had to approach him. "What do you want?" a yellow robed outer disciple asked after losing the draw. "Shen-shibo isn't here." "This lord is looking for Shang-shishu, actually," he said, doing his best to remain polite. No matter the way it was impossible to ignore the sudden spike in hostility. "Might someone direct me to his office?" "Why do you need to talk to him?" the disciple demanded. If they'd been a cat, they'd have puffed up and hissed, Binghe was sure. It was almost cute, seeing them stand up for their shizun like a bunch of wild kittens protecting their mother. But just almost, because that protectiveness was getting in his way.
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coffeetailor · 1 year ago
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Many times vet here.
If you know there will be days that you can’t write, consider readjusting your daily goal. If you can do 2000 more today, that gives you five days off for the month. 1852 a day gives you three days off.
You don’t have to do all your daily writing in one big chunk. Break it up You might find it’s easier to write 600 words three times a day. Or to write whatever comes out in half an hour a couple times today.
Delete nothing. You started a scene and hate it? Mark it in someway whether through a strike through, a funny font, whatever, but don’t forget that you earned those words. They still count.
Find your fellow writers. Whether there is a good in person group in your area or people online you can chat with, it makes it a lot easier than doing it alone. The best year I ever did with NaNo was when I was living in a house with two other writers, and we were always racing to make par each day before the others.
who is doing nanowrimo this year? how prepared are we feeling?
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coffeetailor · 2 months ago
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Am I being good and working on the "Small Matter" extras? Yes.
Am I writing them out of order? Also yes.
I've got about ten planned (unless I shove a few together), including the one I've already got posted. So far.
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coffeetailor · 2 months ago
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Small Matter Extras Update
Got the newest addition to the Small Matter extras up on AO3!
Title: Discovering the Divine - Wei Qingwei Summary: When his soon-to-be-married shidi stops by the forges to have a wedding present made, Wei Qingwei is only too glad to help. Shang-shidi, where did you get a chunk of metal that is literally divine, and why are you giving it to a demon?
Read it here on AO3!
Haven't seen the first one, "The Marriage Pool"? It's here!
Next up will be Mu Qingfang's turn, because who knows more about a man than his doctor?
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coffeetailor · 7 months ago
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It's all about that parrot life sometimes. Here's chapter eight!
Title: The Small Matter of Divinity Chapter Eight: Northern Colors
Series: Scum Villain's Self Saving System
Rating: E (eventually)
Main relationships: Mobei/Shang Qinghua with background established Binghe/Shen Qingqiu
Tags: Established Luo Binghe/Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Identity Reveal, Deity Shang Qinghua, Macro/Micro, Size Difference, Mild Gore, Post-Canon, Shrinking, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Weird Sex, Shang Qinghua's inability to realize people like him
Summary: The story was done. Binghe and Shen-bro were off on their honeymoon, Mobei-Jun was finally the actual king of the Northern Desert, they'd had their big fight and actually made some progress, and Shang Qinghua had even been allowed back into the sect. So happily ever after, right? At least, if survival and paperwork counted as happy. Then what was this shit?! Being in some rip-off 'Honey I shrunk the Cultivator' fanfiction wasn't part of the deal!
In other words, Shang Qinghua, the great master Airplane Shooting Into the Sky, overworked and underappreciated god of this universe, accidentally accepts an optional quest with no cancel option and ends up even shorter than usual. Wasn't his life dangerous enough as it was?
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coffeetailor · 4 years ago
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I love it!
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Inspired by Touched by the Stars by @coffeetailor
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coffeetailor · 2 months ago
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Small Matters Extras - Update Ch 3
"Small Matters Extras" Chapter 3: Discovering The Divine - Mu Qingfang
Summary: When giving a medical exam to one's shixiong, take care that they haven't ascended since your last appointment.
It was a heavy weight to carry as a healer whenever he failed to cure a patient. Mu Qingfang remembered the feeling of grief he’d felt when Shen Qingqiu had been stricken with Without a Cure and he’d only barely been able to halt the poison from killing his martial brother, leaving him suffering from its effects for years. He’d blamed his own lack of skill. The feeling was much worse when the thing he failed to cure was caused by his own carelessness in the first place.
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coffeetailor · 8 months ago
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Finally finished writing my new fic, "The Small Matter of Divinity." It's being posted on AO3 (linked below). Title: The Small Matter of Divinity Rating: Explicit Fandom: Scum Villain's Self Saving System Summary:
The story was done. Binghe and Shen-bro were off on their honeymoon, Mobei-Jun was finally the actual king of the Northern Desert, they'd had their big fight and actually made some progress, and Shang Qinghua had even been allowed back into the sect. So happily ever after, right? At least, if survival and paperwork counted as happy. Then what was this shit?! Being in some rip-off 'Honey I shrunk the Cultivator' fanfiction wasn't part of the deal!
In other words, Shang Qinghua, the great master Airplane Shooting Into the Sky, overworked and underappreciated god of this universe, accidentally accepts an optional quest with no cancel option and ends up even shorter than usual. Wasn't his life dangerous enough as it was?
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coffeetailor · 4 months ago
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The Small Matter of Divinity: Chapter 19
Update, and things are getting more dangerous~
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coffeetailor · 4 months ago
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Small Matter of Divinity - Chapter 18
Thanks for your patience, everyone! My original beta's been unavailable so I had to find a new one (plus Pride month's super busy whee!). Enjoy!
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coffeetailor · 3 months ago
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Dang rabbits
How'd I go from writing and finishing one fic, to now writing two (which could be considered three because I'm working on two parts of one that very well might be posted as fic and sequel), poking at extras for the first, all the while brainstorming a project for NaNo.
Wangji, come get your bunnies. They're leaving plots everywhere.
For those curious, the two new fics are both for MDZS, one being a crossover with SVSSS.
"From the Lotus Flower" - Another G/t fic because that's how I roll, where Lan Wangji goes to the burial mounds to investigate a suspicious figure lurking around and instead finds Wei Wuxian. Tiny, alive, and sleeping inside a lotus flower.
"Son of a Servant No More" - The crossover, where Wei Wuxian finds himself very quickly reborn as the new northern prince, with an ice demon and an immortal cultivator as parents. The first half, "Thirteen Years," details his growing up again in this very new life. The second half, which I'm loosely calling the placeholder name of "Reunion," of course starts off with a somewhat different summoning by one Mo Xuanyu who absolutely wasn't expecting a demon to appear. Whoops.
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coffeetailor · 7 months ago
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Fic Update
Got up to chapter five posted on "The Small Matter of Divinity!"
The story was done. Binghe and Shen-bro were off on their honeymoon, Mobei-Jun was finally the actual king of the Northern Desert, they'd had their big fight and actually made some progress, and Shang Qinghua had even been allowed back into the sect. So happily ever after, right? At least, if survival and paperwork counted as happy. Then what was this shit?! Being in some rip-off 'Honey I shrunk the Cultivator' fanfiction wasn't part of the deal!
In other words, Shang Qinghua, the great master Airplane Shooting Into the Sky, overworked and underappreciated god of this universe, accidentally accepts an optional quest with no cancel option and ends up even shorter than usual. Wasn't his life dangerous enough as it was?
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coffeetailor · 7 months ago
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Chapter Six of Small Matter is live! Title: The Small Matter of Divinity Series: Scum Villain's Self Saving System Rating: E (eventually) Main relationships: Mobei/Shang Qinghua with background established Binghe/Shen Qingqiu Tags: Established Luo Binghe/Shen Yuan | Shen QingqiuIdentity RevealDeity Shang QinghuaMacro/MicroSize DifferenceMild GorePost-CanonShrinkingAnal SexOral SexWeird SexShang Qinghua's inability to realize people like him
Summary: The story was done. Binghe and Shen-bro were off on their honeymoon, Mobei-Jun was finally the actual king of the Northern Desert, they'd had their big fight and actually made some progress, and Shang Qinghua had even been allowed back into the sect. So happily ever after, right? At least, if survival and paperwork counted as happy. Then what was this shit?! Being in some rip-off 'Honey I shrunk the Cultivator' fanfiction wasn't part of the deal!
In other words, Shang Qinghua, the great master Airplane Shooting Into the Sky, overworked and underappreciated god of this universe, accidentally accepts an optional quest with no cancel option and ends up even shorter than usual. Wasn't his life dangerous enough as it was?
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coffeetailor · 1 year ago
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GTober - Day 8: Vintage
(A/N: Is it late? Yes. Do I care at this point? No. Enjoy.)
Deep in the inner-most parts of the Northern Palace, where the king could allow himself to let down his guard, in the room that would have housed his queen had he shown inclination to marry, there was a shrine. If anyone but the king were to lay eyes on it, they might find it odd. curious, or rare. But the only one allowed through the doors was a single servant who had raised the king and was above suspicion. But not execution, should they betray his trust.
It wasn't strictly forbidden for a demon to worship a god if they pleased, but they so rarely did that it was more unheard of. And if they were to choose one to pay tribute to, surely it would be a god of destruction, war, or conquest.
But the little shrine hidden away in the palace of the Mobei clan of ice demons was dedicated to a single god of creation. A god that very few ever knew about from the start, and even fewer remembered. A near powerless god.
But the only one that Mobei-Jun considered worth giving his worship to.
He pulled the door open quietly, only his composure keeping him from making a face at the warm radiating from one of the only fireplaces in the palace. Ice demons and those they kept around them tended to thrive in the cold. But his favored god liked the warmth, and there was little that the little god could ask for that he would deny, except to leave him.
Mobei had set the shrine up where the vanity had once been, close enough to the fire for warmth, but far enough away that he didn't have to worry about something catching while he had to be away from the room. It was a simple little set-up, but had everything that he could get his god to accept. A silver bowl for his offerings, a small hand mirror for him to use when combing out his hair. Small little scrolls, brushes, and ink sticks by the dozens, because even here, the creator god wanted to keep creating. (How often had he had to bring him a bath after he got ink all over his hands?) Places to store all the small treasures that Mobei brought him. And in the center, a curious antique of a writing chest, once plated in gold and encrusted in jewels. So much of both was long gone before Mobei had found the unassuming treasure.
And it'd been a treasure. At least, its contents were. However much he'd stuffed the lidless box with soft furs and silks since, sleeping in the chest now as then was his little god.
Looking down at him, he couldn't completely hide his smile, even as his heart clenched at the reminder of that day. At how frightened the little god had been when he awoke in Mobei's hands upon his removal from the chest. It'd taken time to convince him that Mobei would never bring harm to him, knowing so quickly that he couldn't bear to see that fear, and couldn't bear to think of him leaving. Neither were acceptable.
"Qinghua," he whispered, sliding a finger under one soft and tiny cheek to nudge him awake. He kept his claws trimmed carefully short to remove the risk of hurting him, and kept his voice gentle to ease him awake. His god had nightmares when sleeping unaided, the remains of the spell that'd kept him asleep helping him sleep dreamlessly now. A hidden blessing for them. But one that also meant that the god would sleep until he was woken up again as long as he laid in the writing chest.
His little god's face scrunched up with displeasure as he curled away from the finger, grumbling in soft protest and clearly intending to go back to sleep.
Mobei snorted, giving him another nudge before simply scooping him out of the bed to hold in one hand, bringing him over to the table. There was a second, much smaller one that he'd ordered made just for his god, set up on the surface so they could eat their meals together. Without making his god eat from the edge of his dishes like a mouse stealing scraps.
He deposited the sleepy god down onto his cushion, moving the similarly tiny dishes from his tray over to Qinghua's table, kept warm by a stasis spell he'd had to ask the emperor's permission to be taught by the empress. The latter man had been curious, but didn't ask questions. The spell came in handy for keeping the small pieces of food that his god could eat from cooling immediately. Likewise for the cup of tea he liked to have in the morning.
Once he could open his eyes, that was.
The tip of a finger was carefully employed in keeping his god from falling back asleep where he sat and faceplanting into his bowl, another rubbing little circles on his back.
After Mobei's discovery of the god, even before he'd truly known what he was, it'd been a delicate process to calm Shang Qinghua's initial fear of him, and it'd taken time still after that before he was truly comfortable with being touched and handled. They'd started with a box. Not the one he slept in, just an emptied jewelry box that was about the right size. His god could sit inside it, and Mobei could move it where needed. Without direct contact. The nightmares, in that aspect, had been a blessing in disguise, if only because they'd sent Qinghua into his hands for comfort before either of them truly realized. They'd progressed from there, and later still figured out that the magic on the writing chest could be useful.
The only thing about that discovery that Mobei regretted was it meant that his god could no longer sleep on his pillow beside him. (The matter of sleeping temperature tolerances could have been dealt with. But furs didn't keep away the dreams of lightning.)
"I'm awake, my king," Shang Qinghua finally murmured, still not pushing away the finger giving him a soothing back rub. It made a very nice start to the day, and Mobei continued until the god was finally actually awake enough to reach for his breakfast and start eating. "What's the schedule today?"
"Breakfast, morning court, then training," Mobei said, watching him a little longer before picking up his spoon to eat. He had never asked his god to help with his duties over the kingdom, but Qinghua got twitchy when he had nothing to do, as much as a part of him would like to see him simply lounging in luxury all day. "Lunch and time to work. The emperor and his consort will be coming to sit for evening court and dinner."
"Hm, good. I have a new draft I want to show my bro," the little god said, half to himself. Which was part a confusing mystery, the way he referred to some people. The empress was given a litany of nicknames, some of them familiar enough to make the emperor twitch, some of them just... odd. The most confusing of them often being 'son-in-law,' which Shen Qingqiu always denied vehemently. It was a nickname that the emperor would have (and had gotten) been upset over, if it weren't his own occasional nickname of 'my son.'
Mobei could only assume that it had to do with his creation of the world, even though he was very selective over those he claimed. It was something of a relief that the ice demon had never heard it being directed at him. He wanted a close relationship with the little god, yes. But he didn't want to be his child.
Perhaps he'd get to call Luo Binghe his son-in-law some day. If just to see how he responded. Secretly of course. Never let it be said that Mobei-Jun could have a petty sense of humor.
Mobei did, however, believe in returning slights. And the empress tended to yell at his favored god, and wave those fans of his a little too close to the tiny deity.
Said god put down his empty bowl, finishing the rest of his tea before getting to his feet with a stretch. Perhaps not the picture of dignity and propriety, but Mobei didn't care. As far as he was concerned, he was a handful of perfection. And rather literally a handful as he stepped up onto the hand that the demon offered, allowing himself to be carried back to his 'room.' As he settled in front of the mirror and began to take out his hair to comb through, Mobei found himself wishing he trusted himself enough to comb it for him. Or that they were the same size, just for the mornings, so he could dress him.
Given the choice, he would even put himself in the vulnerable position of being as small as his god. But the only methods that he'd found in his research tended to be much more permanent, or needed a heavenly demon to cure. There was one available, yes, but not in that way. And a permanent shrinking would take away much of his ability to protect his god.
"My king, maybe I'll be big enough to do your hair someday," Shang Qinghua said, looking up at him. Mobei realized that he'd been staring. Already, the god had his hair tied up into a tidy bun, stuck through with a jeweled pin that the demon had insisted he accept as an offering. It was, admittedly, one of many. There wasn't much use in giving him the large jewels he deserved, but small, rare, and precious ones would have to stand in for them. Another gem sat on the hint of the sword that'd been specially craft for him, and some of his furniture pieces before he'd said enough. "Then I can spoil you."
Mobei raised an eyebrow. "Shang Qinghua will still be my god, regardless of size."
"Right, meaning that you should let me do as I want, right?" the god asked, waiting for the nod. "Including spoiling my favorite creation utterly rotten."
The tips of Mobei's ears flushed blue, a kind of heat swelling up in his chest.
Emperor Luo Binghe might be thought of as the god's son, but he was his favorite.
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coffeetailor · 1 year ago
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GTober Day 2: Acorn
"Nuts in a Tree"
To die and be reborn in the world of his own novel, Proud Immortal Demon Way, was bad enough luck as it was. To be sent into the frozen northern wastes by his ever uncaring system was even worse. Add that all to the steaming dung heap that was the fact that he'd been reborn tiny, and Shang Hua was having a very bad time!
[Mission: Retrieve northern frozen acorn. Time limit: twenty-nine minutes.]
"I know!" he whispered angrily under his breath, waving a hand at the floating blue square that'd been counting down since he'd been given the stupid quest. The screen flickered before growing brighter out of spite. "Don't you give me attitude."
[Host is running out of time.]
"Only because you took off two days for 'punishment,'" Shang Hua hissed. "I'll get the acorn. Just give me a moment. If I go out now, I'll get seen!"
[...]
[Twenty-eight minutes.]
If he ever got his hands on a keyboard and computer, he was going to find a way to uninstall that stupid system. Or give it a virus! He'd invented this world, so why couldn't he have been born into a good position?! Like some lofty immortal cultivator, or a wealthy lord who could have tearfully sent his beautiful sister off to join Binghe's harem and gained his benevolence in return. But no! He'd been born as some kind of demon borrower, with a tail even!
He'd thought about writing about tiny people once or twice in the story, but it'd never won the polls. Readers couldn't imagine a proper papapa scene with a woman smaller than the heavenly pillar, so they weren't interested. (Unimaginative rocks, all of them.) But other than one or two silly scribbles, he'd never even drafted them, so why were they in his story?!
Trouble with needing to get specially a northern frozen acorn was that they only grew in a few places. The trees were very slow to grow, because they only grew in the northern desert. Shang Hua only knew of three places they could be found. One, the top of a mountain even further north, which was probably full of monsters who'd love a snack, and was even colder. Second, in Huan Huan Palace, growing in sealed container of never-ending winter in the Old Palace Master's lab. Third, within the walls of the Northern Palace of the Mobei clan.
Somehow, because he'd pissed off the fates at some point, the third was the most accessible. Especially after he'd asked for a scenario pusher to help and nearly been eaten by a demon hawk before it'd dropped him inside the walls. And into the tree he was now clinging to, holding as still as he could.
Because he wasn't the only one in the small courtyard he'd fallen into.
Pale skin, dark eyes, long, blue-black hair twisted into braids, and a face to stop anyone with fear or desire, the demon didn't need an introduction. Shang Hua knew his own favorite creation. None of the fan artists had been able to do him justice. He was beautiful.
And he was excruciatingly deadly, especially when you were six inches tall and intruding into his personal garden.
Still, Shang Hua couldn't resist the urge to learn forward, trying to get a better look at him as the leaves of the tree he hid in blocked part of the view. Arguably the best part, as his king walked beneath the tree, his chest out and exposed.
He heard the twig he'd put his weight onto snap a moment too late. His eyes flew wide and as if in an old cartoon, he felt weightless for just long enough to realize what'd happened before he plummeted down towards the ground. Nooo, he was too young to die, spattered on the stones below!
The tiny demon's scream was abruptly cut off when he hit something. It felt about as hard as the ground, but was a whole lot closer, leaving Shang Hua to bounce off and land in a softly, spongy surface and lay back, dazed. The tree wavered far above, looking so harmless considering it'd just dropped him to his probable death. When a face leaned in to block his view of the traitorous branches, he smiled. "Pretty..."
The curious expression abruptly vanished, the tips of pointed ears darkening blue. If he'd died, maybe this was actually heaven, if he got to look at such a pretty face all day.
[Twenty-five minutes.]
Shang Hua jerked at the sudden count down reminder blaring in his ear, brought back to sharp reality in an instant. Which brought his attention to some very, very dangerous facts. He'd landed on Mobei-Jun's chest. He'd bounced off that chest. And he'd been caught in the demon prince's hands. The very hands that were olding him now as Mobei stared down at him.
The author scrambled to his feet, ready to try and jump the rest of the way. If he died, oh well. Better than being killed by a pissed off ice demon who'd been violated in his own garden!
Or, at least, he tried to get to his feet. The moment he tried to sit up, a claw tipped thumb stretched across his chest and pushed him back down to lay across that palm.
"Who are you?" Mobei-Jun demanded, studying him with narrowing eyes that Shang Hua felt with every sweep over his tiny body.
"I'm no one!" Shang Hua sputtered, his heart pounding under the trapping finger. "No one important at least, worth spending any of your attention on. If you let me go, I'll go and you'll never have to lay eyes on me again!"
[Host must still attain the acorn.]
You think I don't know that?! I can't retrieve anything if he decides to pop my head off as easy as picking a grape!
Somehow, that face was still handsome as Mobei's frown deepened into a scowl, his fingers curling around Shang Hua's whole torso, holding him tightly. Tight enough to make him gasp before those fingers relaxed just enough to keep his ribs from creaking.
"Please be more gentle, my king! I'm small and fragile, and my bones break easily," he begged, arms trapped at his sides. "I'm sorry for breaking into your garden. I didn't take any of the magical herbs, I promise!"
System, if I can have another pusher to let me survive this, I promise to talk nice to you. For... a week!
[...]
[...]
[...]
[Scenario pusher activated. Punishment for not upholding payment will be a loss of 10,000 B-points.]
One handsome eyebrow arched as Mobei continued to look down at him, and Shang Hua could feel a cold sweat running down the back of his neck. Of course it was cold. Everything was cold here.
"What were you doing here?" the ice demon asked at last, apparently willing to listen to his excuses before deciding whether or not to kill him.
His brain spun as he tried to figure out a plausible reason that wouldn't sound like the bullshit it was. Because not having written these tiny demons, he'd already figured out that no one, practically no one knew anything about them!
"It's for a courtship ritual!" he blurted out at last, before Mobei ran out of patience. "My people, we gift little items for the home when we want to court someone! Dishes, tools, that kind of thing. And we make bowls out of acorns! The rarer and harder to find ones the better! I don't have anyone, but that doesn't mean I can't be ready! And your garden is one of the only places where the northern frozen acorns grow! The other places, I'd get eaten or used in some cultivator's magic potions! Please forgive his lowly one for intruding without asking!"
Squeezing his eyes closed, Shang Hua waited for the inevitable decision that'd determine just how much longer he lived.
And waited.
And waited some more.
When there was a rustle of branches, he peeked his eyes open cautiously. Mobei-jun brought his free hand down from the low hanging branches with something held in his hand. The demon relaxed his grip a little more, which allowed Shang Hua to free his arms carefully. When that other hand came near, however, he felt a flash of worry that he was going to get slapped between them, right up until the point where Mobei-Jun opened his other hand.
He was holding an acorn. Specifically, a large northern frozen acorn, and one of the clearest one's he'd ever seen.
"Will this do?" Mobei-Jun asked when his tiny handful didn't respond.
"Will- what- Oh! Yes, it's a very nice one!" Shang Hua sputtered as his brain caught up. He reached for it, missing the satisfied smile and nod from the demon looming above as he took it. "Thank you, my king!"
"Then you accept this lord's courtship."
"Well of course I- wait, what?!" If he hadn't still been being held in place, he would have dropped the acorn and fallen on his ass. As it was, he turned a bright red as Mobei's words sunk in. "You don't mean- you can't-"
"This lord has presented you with your people's gift of courtship. My father's court has been bothering me to line up a mate. You will do nicely. Unless you find this lord ugly?"
"Of course not! Anyone with eyes can see you stand far above the rest in looks, and I'm not just talking literally! But we only just met and I'm not nearly important enough for someone like you!"
System!!!
[Mission: retrieve northern frozen acorn is complete. Reward: chance an easy life.
Good luck, host!]
You're not helping!
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coffeetailor · 6 months ago
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Title: The Small Matter of Divinity Chapter Ten: Learning to Knock
Series: Scum Villain's Self Saving System
Rating: E (eventually)
Main relationships: Mobei/Shang Qinghua with background established Binghe/Shen Qingqiu
Tags: Established Luo Binghe/Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Identity Reveal, Deity Shang Qinghua, Macro/Micro, Size Difference, Mild Gore, Post-Canon, Shrinking, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Weird Sex, Shang Qinghua's inability to realize people like him
Summary: The story was done. Binghe and Shen-bro were off on their honeymoon, Mobei-Jun was finally the actual king of the Northern Desert, they'd had their big fight and actually made some progress, and Shang Qinghua had even been allowed back into the sect. So happily ever after, right? At least, if survival and paperwork counted as happy. Then what was this shit?! Being in some rip-off 'Honey I shrunk the Cultivator' fanfiction wasn't part of the deal!
In other words, Shang Qinghua, the great master Airplane Shooting Into the Sky, overworked and underappreciated god of this universe, accidentally accepts an optional quest with no cancel option and ends up even shorter than usual. Wasn't his life dangerous enough as it was?
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