#to be clear: the views expressed in this fic toward obi-wan kenobi are not the views shared by the author

[giggles-and-freckles]

febuwhump 4: coma

//I chose an alternative (3) prompt for today!//

He looked dead.

Anakin was positive he wasn’t because he’d had the Healers check his vitals every fifteen minutes and eventually took to doing it himself when they were being incompetent or insisting they had other patients, as if anyone could be as important as Obi-Wan. But he looked dead.

His closed eyes were sunken deep into his already thinned out skull. Anakin told himself it was all part of the transformation back. Nothing to do with him. 

He hated that a part of him still wanted to be the cause of such pain and discomfort for Obi-Wan. Hated that he would take that over being left out, excluded, and blocked from areas of Obi-Wan’s life.

“You need to wake up,” Anakin said quietly, embarrassed at the prospect of a Healer walking by and hearing him. “They’re...they’re starting to say ‘coma’ and they won’t listen to me when I tell them that’s not what’s happening here.”

They’d told Anakin yesterday that Obi-Wan hadn’t made any improvement. Like Anakin didn’t know. He didn’t like the sorrowful look she had given him afterward as she encouraged him to seek guidance from the Force on what the next actions should be. He especially didn’t like the way she squeezed his shoulder and said, “think of what’s best for Obi-Wan.”

“I know you like to be dramatic. And I’m normally the first to encourage that, but...Master, it’s time for you to wake up.” Anakin swallowed. “Snips is...well, she’s getting worried about you and I don’t know how long I can keep saying you’ll be okay.”

He paused, watching the monitor not falter in it’s slow, steady beeps.

“I don’t know how long I can pretend that I’m not worried, too.” He laughed breathily. “She’s a smart kid, so...so she probably already knows.”

Too smart for her own good, in fact. Anakin knew she was disappointed in him. That a part of her wondered if he was to blame for what had happened. But she was wrong.

He knew he was to blame for what had happened.

“I didn’t mean it. What I said when you–when you passed out. I was angry and frustrated with the Council and–” He stopped, frowning to himself. “No. No, that’s not true.”

He stood from the chair and walked the length of the room. “I wasn’t angry with the Council.” He turned on his heels toward Obi-Wan’s unconscious form. “I was angry with you. Because you said it was your choice to leave me out. To lie to me.” His voice escalated, even as it shook. “Do you know how much of my life is a lie, Obi-Wan?! Do you?”

His teeth chattered against each other. “All of it. All of my life is one fucking lie...except for you. I know I’m not the Jedi I should be. I don’t mind my emotions, I lose control, I’m reckless, I’m–”

Married. But that felt too strange to say aloud after all this time. Even to an empty room.

“And you lied to me. I thought you were dead, Obi-Wan. DEAD!” He clenched his fists at his side, feeling the head pulse behind his eyes.

“I’m not like you. I can’t just turn my feelings off and on and you know that. But you still...when you came to my quarters and you tried to bring it up, I–what did you expect? Understanding? Forgiveness?”

He slammed a hand against the wall and watched the pitcher of water on the corner table rattle, the liquid sloshing up and over the sides onto the floor below.

“And you...you never feel anything. Or you never talk about it anyway, so for you to...to out of nowhere say I’m your brother and that you love me in the...in the midst of all this shit. Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear any semblance of that from you, Master? How many times I laid awake waiting for you to go to sleep so I could sneak out to the dojo to go practice in the hope that I could be good enough? How often I look to you as soon as I complete some meddling task with even moderate success to see if maybe this one will be the one? Maybe now Obi-Wan will value me as a person and not just someone that got dumped on him.”

Obi-Wan laid still and silent. Anakin grew angrier. He wanted a fight, not silence. The quiet was louder than any argument they could have. 

“You caught me off guard. All the deception and lies and you not trusting me and you...you decide that’s the moment. The moment. To tell me you love me. That’s bullshit and emotional manipulation and I’m mad at you!” He choked on the last words and his own tears. Sunk back into the chair.

“I’m mad now and I was mad, then, too because I was hurt. You hurt me, Master. But what I said...after when I...I don’t know why I said it. I don’t know why I do these things, Obi-Wan. When you’re not there to tell me to choose light and peace, sometimes it’s just...it’s so much easier to choose anger and darkness.”

He heard the door slide open behind him, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care because his Master was in a coma and, if he died, the last words he will have heard on this side of the Force would be, “I hate you.” Screamed and thrown in his face.

“I knew you were sick. I knew you came to me to...to I don’t know, seek penance. But you–gods, when you showed up that night, I couldn’t look at you without seeing red and I just wanted you out, but then we fought and you...Obi-Wan,” his voice broke off, “I saw you turning purple. I knew you were falling and I–I kicked you over the edge and…” A ragged sob as he hung his head in his hands. “I’m so sorry.”

“Master,” a voice behind him whispered. Light footsteps. And tight arms wrapping around his shoulders and clasping on his chest. “The Healers want to talk to you. They…” And Anakin realised she was crying, too. “They said there are some decisions you need to make.”

febuwhump 2021 prompt list

[the-lost-kenobi]

Possibly (Obi-Wan x Reader)

Rated: T

Word Count: 1,526

Summary: This fic was my response to the following request: "could you please write for obi-wan where he and the reader refuse to tell each other how they feel but padme and anakin set them up? i feel like this would be cute! thank you <3" (from anon)

Warnings: None!

You strolled down the temple hallway, making your way back to your chambers after an extraordinarily long day. Despite your years of training as a Padawan, you’d discovered that there was an extra layer of exhaustion which came along with becoming a Knight.

You passed by a half-open door when a familiar silhouette caught your eye. Pausing outside the doorway, you studied Master Kenobi as he stood with his back to you, analyzing a datapad closely.

Your eyes scanned around the room, never having seen his chambers before. The shades were half-drawn, allowing the faint glow of Coruscant’s night life to illuminate the otherwise dark room.

It was sparsely furnished, as was the Jedi way, but Obi-Wan’s distinct personality was reflected in the bookshelves lining the walls and the freshly brewed teacup sitting patiently on his desk.

“You know I can sense you standing there,” he spoke quietly, surprising you out of your thoughts.

Looking up through the half-opened door, he seemed pleased at having caught you off guard, “well, come in then.”

You strolled confidently into the room, leaning against his desk as if you’d planned on doing it all along, “you looked like you could use some help,” you smirked up at him.

“I’d sincerely love to hear your thoughts,” he feigned a look of disappointment, “but unfortunately this datapad is restricted to JediMasters only.”

“Forgive me,” you stood dangerously close to him, “sometimes I forget my place.”

He gazed down at you, neither of you willing to move away or break the tension.

“Am I interrupting,” Anakin teased, arms crossed, in the doorway.

Obi-Wan cleared his throat, “she was just helping me with the datapad.”

“I’m sure she was,” Anakin walked forward, taking the tablet from him, “all brand-new Knights are experts in…The Cultural Expressions and Political Tactics of the Zabrak Species.”

“What can I say, I’ve spent a lot of time in the archives,” you grinned before turning toward the door, “hope I was helpful!”

Obi-Wan caught your eye as you glanced back, blushing, before hurrying away to your room.

———

“I’d be more than happy to accompany you, I’m just surprised you didn’t ask Anakin,” you spoke curiously to Senator Amidala.

She smiled warmly, “I’m afraid he and Obi-Wan were called away on their own mission. Besides, I thought it might be nice to have a friend come along.”

You laughed, “you do deserve a break from those boys every now and again.”

The next morning you were on your way to Naboo with Padmé. The Senator was set to host a series of meetings with the newly elected Queen, updating her on the latest political activity.

After arriving, you were excited to attend each meeting, as Naboo had always been your favorite planet. The entire system was beautiful, filled with lush, dream-like landscapes and incredibly welcoming and friendly people.

As night fell, you traveled into the Lake Country to spend the night at Padmé’s villa there. Varykino, the large lakefront home, came into view and you couldn’t help but admire how heavenly your surroundings were.

You followed Senator Amidala through the ancient structure until she opened the door to a large, circular room. Thin curtains billowed as a breeze wafted through the open windows. An enormous cushioned bed was tucked away at one side of the room while an archway to your right led to a balcony where a table filled with food sat overlooking the water.

You turned to Padmé, “all of this, just for me?”

“You’re our honored guest,” she smiled brightly, “I’ll see you in the morning!”

The senator shut the heavy door behind her, leaving you alone in the large room. You stepped out on the balcony, closed your eyes and smiled, enjoying the soft sound of gentle waves.

“This is entirely unnecessary,” the sound of Obi-Wan’s voice coming from inside caused you to spin around.

“I would have been more than happy to stay in the capital,” you heard him say politely as you walked in from the balcony.

“Trust me, Master,” Anakin grinned devilishly as you entered the room, “you’ll be much happier here.”

Obi-Wan followed Anakin’s gaze, turning to see you standing in the archway. The two of you locked eyes and before you looked away, a blush spread across your cheeks.

“Absolutely not,” Obi-Wan spoke as the reality of the situation dawned on him, “I’m returning to the Royal Palace.”

“I’m afraid you can’t,” Anakin shrugged, “I’m the lead on this mission and I have a feeling that Senator Amidala could be in danger. She’ll need all three of us to keep watch tonight.”

Anakin stepped backwards into the hallway, directing his wicked smile in your direction, “perhaps she can continue to educate you while I’m gone.”

The door closed behind him, leaving you alone with Master Kenobi. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you tried to think of something, anything to say.

You and Obi-Wan had spent months dancing around one another with witty remarks and playful banter, neither willing to admit the very real emotions hiding beneath the surface. Now as fate, or rather Anakin, would have it, you were alone with nothing but the truth to hide behind.

“It could be worse,” Obi-Wan spoke flatly, turning to face you, “at least they gave us food.”

You laughed, so grateful to him for interrupting the silence, “I suppose there’s nothing wrong with eating. Wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

He stepped toward you, placing his hand against your lower back as you walked outside. As you took your seats across from one another, the skin underneath where his palm had been felt as if it were on fire.

Obi-Wan kept up a small conversation as you made your way through dinner, both of you choosing to ignore the obvious predicament you found yourselves in. The sun continued to set until there was little more than the moonlight reflecting off the water to illuminate your faces. A chill swept over the lake, urging you both to retreat back into the room.

Something about the darkness made the chamber feel smaller, as if you were gradually drawing closer to one another. The haze of exhaustion began to fill your mind, leading your thoughts back to the large bed waiting in the corner.

As if he could read your thoughts, Obi-Wan spoke quietly, “I’m willing to sleep on the floor. It would be easier than trying to persuade Anakin to give me my own room.”

You laughed, “Obi-Wan, I would never ask you to do that,” your eyes met his, “there’s plenty of room for us both.”

His cerulean eyes glinted in the shadowed light, his voice suddenly sounding lower, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

Unsure if it was the wine at dinner or simply the prolonged seclusion, something gave you the courage to reach out and rest your hand against his chest.

You looked up at him, feeling his heart beat heavily beneath your palm, “I’d like for you to join me.”

Your voice had been barely above a whisper, but you were certain that he’d heard you. His eyes seemed to burn into you as you both stood unmoving, reveling in the intoxicating anticipation of what would happen next.

And then, finally, Obi-Wan yawned.

You couldn’t help but laugh, leaning into him, as the weight of the tension that had surrounded you evaporated. He wrapped  his arms around you, resting his chin lightly on top of your head.

“Let’s get you to bed,” you mumbled, pressed against his chest.

“Gladly,” he smiled fully, looking down at you.

Not wanting to add any unnecessary pressure to the situation, you simply kicked off your boots and removed your leather vest before crawling to the middle of the bed, still wrapped in your light tunic. You leaned against the pile of pillows as Obi-Wan followed suit, coming to sit next to you.

You tried to ward off the awkward tension by keeping a playful smile on your face as you looked up at him from the plush pillows. His posture was perfect as always as he sat, legs crossed, observing you. Your breath hitched for a moment when you caught him looking you over.

“Do you sleep like that,” you asked with a grin.

He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, “possibly.”

You laughed again, grabbing his arm, “just come here.”

He allowed you to draw him down to the bed, laying mere inches away from you. You looked into his crystal blue eyes, just enjoying the fact that this was happening at all.

You bit your lip and looked away. He reached out, holding the palm of his hand against your cheek. His touch grounded you and you looked back to him.

“I’ve wished for this for a very long time,” he spoke softly, his eyes never leaving your own.

Your heart soared. His words held no wit or humor, only solid, sincere, truth.

Obi-Wan traced his thumb down your cheek and then slowly, lightly, across the fullness of your mouth. Your eyes closed, savoring the moment, as he finally pressed his lips against yours.

[cluelessgurl]

Hey guys, this is like my first fic ever so I hope you like it. I’d love any feedback as it always helps. Enjoy :)

This was requested by the lovely @jedicatt

You and Him

Pairing- Anakin Skywalker X Female Reader

Summary- You are the outspoken representative of Alderaan and the sister of Bail Organa. When you are under threat, you are put under Jedi protection by no other than Anakin.

Warnings- None :)

Words- 2.7K

The luscious green, peaceful world of Alderaan had been your home since birth. Growing up under the success of your brother Bail meant you always wanted to follow his footsteps, and as you grew older your passion for politics was apparent. You were well-spoken but people would always describe you as fiery, you knew you had to stand up for what you believed in and sometimes that got you in trouble. Like the time, when you as a representative of Alderaan beside your brother Bail spoke out against malicious ways of the Trade federation quite blatantly, so much so, your brother swore he heard hundreds of gasps echoing through the senate. This was definitely one of the times you caused yourself trouble, but this time you swore you'd never take it back because this time, you met him.

‘I don't understand why there's any need for this!’ you gasped out you as scurried to catch up to Bail who was currently huffing down the corridors of the senate, ‘Of course you don't, you never understand when I tell you anything, like when I told you to not associate politics and your rather explicit personal view of the Trade federation together yet here we are’ he exclaimed. Smiling up at him ‘Uh yes, however, they deserved everything I suggested about them and you know it Bail and so do hundreds of other delegates. But Jedi protection? That's highly unnecessary and hyperbolic’, he looked down at you sternly but you could see the amusement in his eyes ‘ Well your suggestions have now got us on the tracks of bounty hunters and assassins,we are in danger, and by ‘we’ I mean you specifically. So I suggest this be the time you do listen’ you sighed in defeat, your brother had always been protective of you, he claimed it was due to your ‘outlandish’ ways but you knew it was because he cared for you. As you made it to the docking bay stepping into your yellow speeder, Bail spoke out ‘We’re heading back to the quarters and there we’ll meet our Jedi representative, please try and be polite or say nothing at all, both are fine’ he chucked, you looked up at him with an unamused expression as he turned the speeder around mid-air , why must he always treat you as if you were a child you thought frustratedly,but then proceeded to smirk the way you always did ‘Of course brother, when have I ever disappointed you’ he managed to give you smile before you sped off.

This is my mission, why must Obi-Wan escort me there as if I am a mere youngling, my master is a wise man, but his misunderstandings about my abilities are frustrating to say the least, Anakin’s mind rushed with thoughts as the elevator bolted up towards the quarters when his thread was broken by Obi- Wan ‘You seem a little on edge, nervous for your first mission?’ Anakin turned swifty ‘Not at all’ he replied a little unconvincingly ‘Are you sure? I haven’t felt you this tense since we fell into that nest of Gundarks’ Obi -Wan chipped amused, “Of course” thought Anakin, rolling his eyes, ‘You fell into that nightmare Master, and I rescued you remember?’ Obi-Wan pondered ‘Oh, yes’ followed by a hearty chuckle, this made Anakin smile. He did appreciate all that he and his master had been through, and after all he did care for him, as this thought passed the padawan’s mind,the elevator came to a halt, and the doors opened. Obi-Wan strode into the quarters, Anakin at his heel, if he was being completely honest, this was not the most thrilling first assignment , Aayla told him that she went ventured into the the notorious streets of Corellia as her first mission without Master Tholme, that all changed though, it all changed when he set his eyes on you. You stood there tall, confident with the most mesmerising smile he had ever seen on any species, it made his heart soar even though he’d never met you, though your eyes said different, they shone bright like the suns on Tatooine, like they’d known him for a thousand cycles with a sense of mischief clear, your hair framed your face perfectly like everything about you, perfect that’s what you were to him, perfect. Anakin was lost in you, so much so that he didn’t hear any of the conversation that was taking place, he only came to his senses when Obi-Wan gave him a rather harsh nudge ‘Anakin!’ he muttered. You chuckled softly looking up Bail.Anakin blinked ‘My apologise Senator Organa, and -uh..’ ‘Y/N, Y/N Organa representative of Alderaan’ you replied gleefully ‘Pleasure to meet you Master Kenobi and Anakin’, you must admit to yourself, when you thought you were going to be under Jedi protection, your imagination took you to the likes of Master Yoda,you did not expect men like Obi-Wan and Anakin who were quite frankly, far too dashing. Maybe this would be fun after all.

After brief discussion, it was decided that you were to be escorted back to Alderaan to the family country house under Anakin’ protection. Following a small , private bicker with Bail about sending you away from the Senate, you gave in and said your goodbyes to him and Master Kenobi and waited for Anakin to do the same. ‘I have faith in you Anakin, keep Y/N safe and don’t do anything without discussing with me or the council first’ Obi-Wan spoke somewhat tense himself ‘I assure you, I will master’ Anakin replied with a strange determination in his eyes, ‘Well then,you best hurry’.

As you two settled down in the surroundings of your passenger starship, covered by unknown faces, Anakin took it upon himself to get to know you. ‘So, what is a lady like you doing as a representative in the senate?’ he quipped, the smile you gave him yet again brought warmth to his heart, ‘Well, I have a tendency to speak my mind, so I thought why not put it to good use?’ you noticed how Anakin’s face sweetly scrunched up as he let out a most sincere chuckle ‘How about you? What is a flyboy like you doing at the Jedi temple’ you asked out of genuine curiosity ‘I was found in Tatooine at a very young age, the temple is all I’ve known since then.’he replied plainly ‘Must be difficult, having sworn your life to the Jedi, not being able to visit the places you like or do things you like’ ‘Or be with the people that I like’ he interrupted with a expression you couldn’t quite decipher, he was proving to be more and more alluring, you decided to let it pass. Changing the topic, you spoke mischievously ‘What do you like to do , apart from being the mighty defenders of the Republic?’ Anakin grinned he found you rather humorous, it lifted his spirits ‘We don’t have much time for hobbies but I'm good at fixing things I always have been , I used to pod race back in Tatooine’ he observed that you seemed to perk up that ‘What?’ Anakin inquired smiling with curiosity, you replied with a proud smirk ‘I pod race too actually, I have since I was little’ Anakin was pleasantly surprised, his earlier interpretation of you being perfect was only proving itself to be true ‘Really? I’m impressed, your talents only add to your ravishing beauty’ Anakin replied with the same mischievous grin that adorned your face earlier. You replied with a quaint smile, trying to disregard the heat rushing to your cheeks, nobody had ever spoken to like that, not in the way he spoke to you.

As the starship was just about to land, you stared out of the window you couldn't lie, you did miss home. Anakin stared at you whilst you peered out the window with a smile reaching high up to your cheeks. He must admit, Alderaan was an exquisite planet but to him, nothing compared to your bewitching beauty. Anakin knew he shouldn’t let his mind wander to thoughts such as these, he was a Jedi, he was supposed to be void of attachments. Y/N turned around, her hair gliding across her back ‘Come Anakin, I’ve got lots to show you’ stripping Anakin of his thoughts ‘ Of course Milady’ he smirked through his reply.

Y/N and Anakin spent most of the morning discussing, and jesting around about their strict lives back in Coruscant. Y/N showed Anakin her pod racer that she had previously built, Anakin seemed more and more invested in her life, slowing getting lost in the way she talked, smooth and resilient, like she believed in everything she said, even if she did say some questionable things which only made him laugh like he hadn’t in years. Currently, they were sat down at the table, feasting on some Starblossom fruit, an Alderaan speciality. Just as Anakin made the fruit float your mind also floated to a thought ‘Are you allowed to love?’ I sputtered out, Blast! What was that Y/N?, this was the first time you regretted being so vocal, this was sure to make things awkward ‘I mean, isn’t it forbidden for a jedi?’. You were surprised when he simply just smiled at you, his eyes looking straight into your own, they were blue and deep like the oceans of Mon Calamari, completely mesmerised ,you sighed softly, ‘Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life’ he smirked ‘So you might say that we are encouraged to love’ if you weren’t already completely lost in him, you were now, nobody had ever left you speechless like he had now, silent at his fingertips. Just by using a number of words, there was something so special about him.

The next morning Anakin was woken with the bright sun rays shining upon his eyes and by the roar of your pod racer, pod racer? Anakin quickly changed and jogged out towards the sound, it seemed to be taking him in the direction of the Alderaanian flame-rose fields you had shown him yesterday. There he saw you, standing under the warm sun, you looked ethereal. Your skin glowing, your lips appeared so soft, so comforting, he swore he had never seen anything more beautiful. He noticed it wasn’t just one pod racer that was stagnant by your side, but a second one, now he matched the smirk jeweled on your face. ‘You said you used to pod race so I thought, why not test your skills?’ he smiled so fully, his face felt tight as a tied rope ‘Oh really? I wouldn’t want to undermine your abilities, Milady' ‘Don’t you worry about that Anakin, you don’t want to underestimate me’ ‘Of course, I wouldn’t dare’ he laughed content. Ah that laugh, it made your heart want to jump out and fly away, it made your day already. You both buckled up into your pods, making sure all the dials are at the correct calibration, gave each other one last glance and a signature smirk and sped off, you both doing unnatural speeds to the passing eye, dipping under trees and spinning to reach higher altitudes. Anakin was staying right beside you, almost harmlessly mocking you, you recalibrated the ignition switch and sped off, Anakin raised his eyebrows in surprise, he was genuinely impressed but his competitive side got the best of him, soon he met your speed. The finishing line by the trees was dangerously close you both looked at each other, eyes locked with determination and lips spilling with playful laughter, however, as you and Anakin were lost in each other,you failed to notice the flock of Nerfs herding around grass, you spotted them at the last second and tilted your racer up towards the sky. The finishing line was right ahead, Anakin was mere inches away and you were adamant on winning so, you jumped out of your pod. You steered towards the line and crossed it seconds before Anakin, landing on a patch of flame roses. Anakin’s eyes widened, he abandoned the pod and dashed towards you figure, laying face front ‘Y/N!, Y/N’ he rolled you over, only to hear you burst out laughing, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in ‘You should have seen your face! Your soul left your body, I swear’ you let out holding your stomach ‘Of course I was! Obi-Wan would have killed me if I let anything happen to you’ Anakin spoke out between chuckles, trying to hide his anxiety ‘Hmm I think not,I think you're terrified at the thought of anything happening to me’ you smirked. Anakin started into your eyes, shook his head and said nothing, but he started tickling your sides which only made you giggle further, you both rolled down the field, roaring with laughter. Anakin had never felt this happy and untroubled before in his life, as you both laid on the grass, the scent of roses brimming in the air, basking under the sun, you and him both letting out sighs of contentment, hands intertwined.

It was late at night, you were restlessly tossing and turning in your bed, your mind was whirling with thoughts of him, his smile, the way he spoke to you and only you, his golden hair glowing in the heat of the sun, his Padawan braid that you’d twirl between your fingers, you giggled yourself; you never had feelings like these sitting in the center of your heart, but it didn’t feel wrong. Your heart took you to the place it always took you when your mind was wandering like this.

Anakin felt your restlessness, his concern grew and grew until he had to come find you, you were right, he was terrified at the thought of anything happening to you. He gave in and, walked timidly towards your room, when you didn't answer to his knock, his anxiety took control. He composed himself and searched his feelings like his master had taught him, he let the force be his guide in search for your signature he’d progressed to love. Anakin's legs finally led him to the roof, where he saw you lying there on the ground under the lights of the stars ‘Y/N, are you okay? I couldn’t find you’, you replied with a simple ‘Join me’, Anakin didn’t hesitate and laid down beside you, he looked up at the glittering stars scattered in the sky of Alderaan, there was a gentle breeze, the scent of roses still following the both of you, then he turned to face you, he watched your chest rise and fall, his anxiety disappearing slowly just at the sight of you, you radiated beauty, charm and confidence, everything he had grown to love about you ‘I come here when my mind runs wild with thoughts’ you spoke out gently, you turned to look at him only to find him already looking at you. ‘What are you thinking about?’ Anakin inquired softly, you stared into his eyes, still bright and blue even in the shadow of dusk, you uttered timidly ‘You' he gave you a wide smile, ‘You’re all I think about Y/N, I love you’ he spoke barely above a whisper, so much so, that you wouldn’t have heard him if your faces weren’t so close and they only got closer when you replied with ‘I love you, with all of my heart’, the small gap between you and him started to close ever so slowly, shaky breaths falling from the both of your lips until they met with a chaste kiss.

You’d never regret the trouble you’d caused yourself that day at the senate, because you‘d always remember his deep eyes staring back at your own all those times, you’d never regret it because you met him. Anakin knew he’d never let you go, his other half he’d met on his first assignment, he’d never forget your face illuminated by the stars, the pure beauty of your face and mind. And for you both, it’d always be you and him.

[anghraine]

“waking up in a minefield” - fic (2/4)

Yes, the first section said 1 / 2. Yet again, I am betrayed by my own poor judgment of how long these things are going to be >_>

(Not helped by perpetual dissatisfaction with this section. I keep poking at it and adding/deleting things, so I decided to just post it and actually work on finishing it.)

fandom: Star Wars

characters: Leia Organa, Bail Organa, Jyn Erso, Cassian Andor; Jyn/Cassian, hints of Han/Leia

verse: script AU (follows from threshold of a dream and part of the past, but now you’re the future, and overlaps with in tongues and quiet sighs)

length: 3k

stuff that happens: picking up from part 1/in tongues and quiet sighs, Jyn meets Leia.

It always felt strange to live undercover as herself. It felt stranger to know that she never would again.

Leia had done her work as Senator Organa of Alderaan—exploited her diplomatic immunity, picked up whispers and more among other politicians, periodically acted as courier. Now, the Senate was gone. Alderaan was gone.

She would be the daughter of Alderaan for the rest of her life. Princess Leia, interminably.

Leia supposed she’d leave the intelligence division. The opportunity created by the Senate seat was what had made her such a valuable agent. She knew her strengths, and wouldn’t be challenged by those who lacked them, but she knew her weaknesses, too; she could better serve the Rebellion in almost any other capacity. Besides, her face would be instantly recognizable throughout much of the galaxy, after this. And her father had always involved her in High Command. She would just have to take up his place now.

No time for sorrows, she reminded herself. The analysis must be nearly finished. She’d check on it herself if Draven hadn’t pulled rank and ordered her to medbay after the debrief. Ridiculous, at this point. If Vader—if the Imperials had done any serious harm, she would know.

Sure enough, the fussy droids milling about her just clicked and tsked about minor nerve damage. Of course she had that. It didn’t require the tank; they fixed her up with bacta patches, and ordered her to wait half an hour for a second test.

Bored within seconds of their departure, Leia poked her head out of the door, wondering if she could make her escape. But droids stalked up and down the hall, a team of them passing in and out of the room next to Leia’s. She felt a vague curiosity about that. Maybe one of the survivors of Scarif, though she doubted many of the wounded had made it out at all.

The entrance to the medbay itself was completely obstructed, but the hall did clear enough for her to slip out. With nothing better to do, Leia wandered out to see who else rated a private room.

As she surreptitiously pushed the other patient’s door from “ajar” to “open,” Leia saw a room identical to her own, but for the man and woman sleeping in it. The woman had curled her entire body into a chair; though not tall, she still looked uncomfortable, with one of her arms about her drawn-up knees and the other supporting her head on the armrest. She might well have been better-off on the floor. The man simply slept in the bed, face turned into his pillow, away from Leia and towards the woman.

Even across the room, at a difficult angle, he reminded her of—no, not—that couldn’t—

He stirred and turned his head to peer at her. “¿Infanta?”

Cassian Andor?

Once, Leia knew Andor only as the the most orthodox and unyielding of her handlers, for all that he was also the youngest. Throughout her year of training and three in active intelligence work, her opinion of him evolved from disdain to respect for the qualities she respected in herself: efficiency, determination, dedication to the cause above any personal inclinations. But she never respected him more than when her father caught her in a hall of the base, and said Andor went rogue.

Well, it took a few moments.

“Andor?” Leia had asked, incredulous. “Captain Andor? Went over to the Empire? I don’t believe it.”

It wasn’t that she couldn’t believe it of anyone. Andor, though? No. Her instincts always led her right, and she’d never picked up anything contrary to what he seemed: a man not precisely likable, but every bit as devoted to resistance and liberation as she herself could be. She had little impression of much else, except simmering fury whenever someone mentioned stormtroopers.

“No, no, not the Empire,” said Bail, looking horrified. Naturally, given that he’d entrusted her to Andor’s oversight for months on end. But his expression immediately warmed again, the comfortable weight of his hand settling on Leia’s shoulder. “He has an informant of sorts, the daughter of an Imperial scientist, who passed on the location of the plans to the Death Star. Her father told her that he’d sabotaged the whole project.” He shook his head, even as he kept his voice low. “It’s our only hope.”

His grim face would have told her High Command’s reaction, even if her own knowledge of them hadn’t.

“The council refused to do anything, didn’t they?” By strength of will, she kept herself from grinding her teeth. “I guess we’re the only ones allowed to take risks.”

“Captain Andor seems to have shared that view,” Bail said dryly. “It looks like he gathered a strike team while the girl distracted everyone, and they slipped away almost immediately afterwards.”

Leia could never have imagined Andor defying the Alliance—but if she had, that was exactly how she would expect him to do it. She rather regretted that she hadn’t gotten here in time to join the mission herself.

“So now we’re going to do something?” she asked.

“Raddus is ordering the fleet to back them,” said Bail. “That’s where you come in, Leia.”

She brightened, so obvious that her father grinned down at her, as he’d done so many times before.

“I’m meeting up with the fleet.”

“Yes,” he said unexpectedly. “The plans are on Scarif, in the Outer Rim. It’s practically next door to Tatooine, where I need you to go.”

“Tatooine?” Leia almost laughed. “What’s on Tatooine?”

“Obi-Wan Kenobi,” said Bail.

Only long practice kept her eyes from widening. Her parents had regaled her with the old stories from the time that she was old enough to keep her mouth shut about them. General Kenobi?

He went on, “It’s better if you don’t fly directly to the planet. If anyone were to realize that something specific drew you there …” A different sort of horror, deeper, shadowed him. “We can’t risk it. And now the plans have to take precedence. The Tantive IV is ready to fly you to Scarif. You’ll need to receive any transmissions from Andor’s team, find General Kenobi, and bring both to Alderaan.”

Easier said than done, but Leia didn’t hesitate.

“I’ll find a way.”

Her father’s hand tightened. Leaning down to kiss her forehead, he replied, “I know you will.”

That was the last time she saw him.

Even Andor, as far as she knew, died on that unauthorized mission. She saw the Death Star attack the station, irradiating everything for miles around. These days, the shock of that seemed … never trivial, certainly, but almost innocent. A single Imperial station! But a Rebel team fought down there, and none of them could have made it out alive. She carried the memory of the dead with her into the Death Star itself, tucked them into her mind for a different sort of fight.

Today, she carried—Force, she couldn’t think of it. But infanta rattled around her head, her chest, a piercing shard that tore at her everywhere it went. Worse than princess by far.

Leia didn’t flinch. She was the daughter of the Queen of Alderaan, and though neither Breha nor Alderaan lived, she remained her mother’s daughter. If infanta meant nothing else, it meant that. And she knew perfectly well that it would mean something else. An image to raise sympathy and force remembrance and—she felt sick. Yet she might achieve more for the Rebellion as la Infanta de Alderán than she ever could with her blaster.

The Rebellion came first, always. She’d do anything, everything. She always would, but now there was no turning back.

“Infanta,” Andor said again, more certain. Appallingly weak, he pushed himself upright with the heels of his hands, looking surprised as he did so.

Leia set aside the wave of indulgent misery and strode over to the chair on his other side.

“Capitán,” she returned. “No estás muerto.”

Andor managed to seem amused without moving a muscle. “Estoy tan sorprendido como usted.”

Too dignified to wrinkle her nose, she flung herself into the chair and let her aching body slump. Andor didn’t look much better than she felt. Maybe worse. She’d never seen him so visibly fatigued, eyes heavy and skin drawn tight and pale. Narrowly escaping a Death Star blast could probably do that to you, though. Leia wouldn’t know. She’d only been on the other end.

“You look terrible,” she said. “What did you do?”

“Many things,” said Andor, dry as usual, though in the circumstances she doubted it was anything less than the truth. At her frown, he shook his head. “I only injured my spine.”

Leia barked a short laugh. “Only your spine?”

It was utterly characteristic, and utterly asinine. Andor himself would have lectured her for hours if she’d ever said anything remotely like it. Then again, the Rebellion needed her far more than him. Intelligence had many good agents, if few equal to Andor. His loss would be a blow, but not a devastating one. However, Leia had somehow turned into an icon of the Rebellion when she wasn’t looking. Even then, before she symbolized anything in particular, before she’d achieved much of anything in particular. Before—

“I am alive,” Andor reminded her. “Not many can say the same.”

Again, Leia’s stomach turned. She crossed her arms and glanced around for something else to latch onto. Anything else.

Her gaze landed on the woman in the chair, ragged and weary. Not a Rebel. Though she wore half an Alliance uniform, it fit poorly, the oversized trousers hacked off at the ankles. And her dark leather jacket had nothing to do with any uniform. Leia was pretty sure she’d seen it before: on Andor, in the field.

Huh. She was attractive enough, but not what Leia would have supposed to be his type. Though she had no way of knowing his preferences, if he had any, this woman �� well, she distinctly reminded Leia of Captain Solo. Asleep and all. The scruffy hair, battered boots, carelessly tucked shirt, mediocre blaster in plain sight, the leather jacket—it combined into a familiar picture. More familiar than Leia wanted it to be, anyway.

She found herself saying, “No sabía que tenías novia.”

“¿Qué?” Andor seemed genuinely puzzled until she nodded at the woman.

Whatever answer Leia might have anticipated, she certainly didn’t expect to see his face light up as he turned his eyes to the stranger. In four years, she’d never seen him so human.

“Ah. No es mi novia.”

Though she couldn’t have said why, she felt vaguely disappointed. “¿Tu amiga?”

Leia didn’t know he had any of those, either. Sure enough, Andor paused to consider it.

“Quizás.”

Enlightening. “Bueno, ¿quién es ella?”

“Jyn Erso,” he said proudly, as if the name should mean something to her. As if it should mean something extraordinary, at that.

If she’d said compañera, Leia suspected she might have received a different answer. Who was this woman, if not a Rebel? And how had she gotten access to the base?

Jyn woke to a cramp in her neck and legs, and low murmurs not far away. The latter must have pulled her out of sleep, but gently; her mind drifted towards consciousness, unconcerned with danger or vulnerability. Even those times when she’d slipped into Cassian’s quarters and caught a few hours of rest in an actual bed, she always jolted awake into urgency, scarcely less exhausted than before. Here, contorted into a miserable medbay chair, she felt more refreshed than in days.

Their tones quiet and careful, the unknown others continued to talk. Not completely unknown, though: she’d recognize Cassian anywhere. He definitely sounded stronger. The other, a woman, spoke in a low but smooth voice, confidence in every syllable.

In that haze between sleep and alertness, it took Jyn a few moments to realize that she didn’t understand the syllables. Odd.

“Ya veo. ¿La hija del científico?”

Cassian said, “Sí. ¿Ha oído hablar de ella?”

She held herself still, not tense, just letting mind and body pass into their proper strength. Alderaanian, Jyn thought. You couldn’t go far in the galaxy without running into it here and there, though she’d never learned. She wasn’t good with language, and Basic got her anywhere that Alderaanian would. But she remembered that Cassian spoke it, as she remembered every word on that hellish voyage from Scarif. Whatever the subject of the conversation, and whomever the other participant might be, they talked in his native language.

“—líder de nuestra misión.”

“Pensé que eras el líder,” said the woman.

He paused, then said, “Somos compañeros.”

It sounded nice, Jyn thought, opening her eyes. Maybe she would learn, someday. As for now, she took advantage of Cassian’s focus on the other woman to study him through her eyelashes.

He did look better. Sort of. Tired and pale to be sure, but his eyes were alert, his skin had recovered its usual warm tones, and most promising of all, he sat upright without the support of the bed. No signs of extraordinary discomfort.

The doctor, she thought wryly, could live.

Jyn turned her attention on the woman opposite her. To her surprise, she was young—younger than them, even. The voice had sounded older. With still-round cheeks, thin brows, wide dark eyes beneath them, and brown hair in a floppy plait over her shoulder, she looked twenty at most. And she ought to have seemed soft, forgettable; instead, something fierce and hard in her face lent as strong a presence as Mothma or Draven.

Though Jyn didn’t move a muscle beyond the twitch of her lids, she somehow caught the girl’s attention.

“Oh, she’s awake,” she said.

Cassian immediately turned to Jyn, sober manner brightening into his usual intensity. “Are you—”

“Alive,” mumbled Jyn, stirring and blinking blearily around. She dared a small yawn for effect, since it was only half-pretense anyway. She’d had a very long two weeks.

“You could have slept in my quarters,” he said, plainly unconcerned with what this unknown Rebel might think of it. “You’ve already stolen my clothes.”

Jyn rather enjoyed the girl’s raised brows. Cassian’s frown, not so much.

“I have slept in your quarters,” she told him. “I didn’t feel like it today.”

The frown only deepened.

So he didn’t remember. Not everything, anyway. She felt a touch of relief at that. A touch of bemusement, too, that he not only didn’t realize he’d wanted her to stay, but didn’t seem to realize that he wanted it.

“You should at least have been given a bunk,” said Cassian. “How long has it been since we arrived? About a week?”

“The Rebellion’s had bigger concerns,” Jyn said. “Anyway, I don’t trust these people. They tried to get you to sign things when you were drugged out of your mind.”

“Who did?” said the girl sharply.

Jyn shrugged as she unwound herself from the chair and stretched. In a moment, her back gave a satisfying crack, while the girl sprang up, scowling. Much like Cassian, she held herself straight-backed and proud, maintaining every millimeter of her full height. Unlike him, however, that full height was … well, Jyn did not often need to drop her gaze to meet someone’s eyes. But this girl had to be at least a couple of inches shorter than Jyn, her diminutive figure not helped by the white tunic and trousers hanging loosely about her body.

Before Jyn could be questioned by a tiny, teenaged stranger, Cassian interceded.

“Infanta,” he said, “this is Jyn Erso, as I told you, who led our mission and transferred the plans. Jyn, this is Princess Leia Organa, of—”

“—Rebel Intelligence,” said Princess Leia firmly, sticking her hand out over the bed. Awkwardly, Jyn reached over and shook it, since she could think of no way to refuse. But she extricated herself as soon as possible and sat back down.

There were few people in the galaxy whom Jyn felt less desire to know than Leia Organa. With deliberate effort, she relaxed her jaw.

Cassian, meanwhile, managed to look both expressionless and startled. Clearly, he hadn’t expected the interruption, or at least its contents. Of course not: as far as she could tell, he hadn’t heard.

“Intelligence? Do you work together?” Jyn asked. She neither knew nor cared, but felt ready to grasp at anything that might redirect him.

“Not directly,” said Cassian. “Not any more, that is.”

He didn’t know why Leia was here, she realized. Here at the base, not just in this private room. The latter was a mystery to Jyn, too. Another angle from Mothma?

“General Draven felt I needed someone to hold my hand at first,” Princess Leia said. As stern as Draven himself could be, she added, “Captain Andor was the lucky victim.”

“Your work is important,” he said simply.

Fuck.

“Was,” corrected Princess Leia, before Jyn could think of a new detour. “Haven’t you heard?”

Jyn tensed. Cassian seemed to notice; while he didn’t return her gave, his attention drifted her way, to go by an infinitesimal shift towards her. Only then did she realize that she’d wrapped her fingers around his wrist again, tightly enough that even her short nails bit into his skin. It must hurt, if nothing to everything they’d been through lately, and Jyn thought about releasing her grip. She didn’t want to, though, so she didn’t.

“The Emperor dissolved the Senate,” said the princess. Her face gave nothing away, nor anything else—not a blink, not a twitch. Alderaan made them tough, apparently. 

Or had.

Forgot to add notes:

1) Infanta/la Infanta de Alderán: princess/princess of Alderaan; more explanation under the notes on the fic this sprawled out of.

2) Capitán. No estás muerto: Captain. You’re not dead. (Leia is truly a miracle of warmth and charm.)

3) Estoy tan sorprendido como usted: I’m as surprised as you [formal—more on that under the parent fic, too].

4) No sabía que tenías novia: I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.

5) ¿Qué?: What?

6) Ah, no es mi novia: Ah, she isn’t my girlfriend.

7) ¿Tu amiga?: Your friend?

8) Quizás: Perhaps.

9) Bueno, ¿quién es ella?: Well, who is she?

10) compañero/a: broader in usage than English companion—it can be friend/companion, but also partner, colleague, comrade, significant other, etc. Leia realizes that Cassian does have a significant relationship with Jyn; she just phrased the question too precisely.

11) Ya veo. ¿La hija del científico?: I see. The daughter of the scientist? (When Jyn is going, well, whatever they’re talking about—they’re talking about her.)

12) Sí. ¿Ha oído hablar de ella?: Yes. Have you[formal] heard of her?

13) —líder de nuestra misión: —leader of our mission.

14) Pensé que eras el líder: I thought that you were the leader.

15) Somos compañeros: We’re partners/companions. (As Leia suspected, he does accept the more ambiguous term—and while theoretically talking about their position in the mission, he says ‘we are partners’ rather than ‘we were.’)