#to all of the compliments tho thank u i really appreciate them i am just too scared to answer them all :')

[slugfishh]

what art software and brushes doyou use,,,,,,ur art is so chewy i loave it

I used to use clip studio paint but 6 months ago I got an ipad and started using procreate instead and now its my go-to art program. I only really have a few imported brushes I use but the big one I use for mostly everything is the knucklehead brush from @zzztlk on tumblr (and @samzalong on twitter, where I got the brush links from) I use it especially for lineart, while for blending I just use the default procreate blend brushes. here's the individual download links below

procreate: https://t.co/DPTRMBlCEc

clip studio paint: https://t.co/Ou6OVtqGtF

Also, the reason my art looks sorta crunchy is that I tend to draw pretty small, for 4-7 drawings on one page I usually use 1000x1000 tho it varies a lot, I personally just really like the rough pixel-like feel of it (this technique i uh, also stole from samzalong/sleeptlk lol, love their stuff)

[yandereshingeki]

omggg so i was in the middle of making a pizza and i realized that im now able to come and say hi :> hiii forest ! thank u sm for all of ur compliments on my drawings on aleks' prev blog <3 ive just checked ur art tag and omgggg ure amazing at drawing im speechless ! for how long have u been drawing ? and which are ur fav and least fav things to draw? im v curious but u can answer those questions only if u feel like it <3 just wanted to thank u for being nice overall !

HI CANNIBAL ANON!! I am so sorry this took so long to respond to, you sent it just as I was heading out for work and I wanted to wait to answer it so here i am!!

You’re absolutely welcome, all of your drawings are absolutely adorable!! You’re so talented, I love seeing all the little doodles you do!! And you and lunita are so cute 😭😭 I could cry

And thank YOU for enjoying my art!! :,) I’m comfy with answering anything so dw!!!

I’ve been drawing for as long as I can remember, but if we’re being specific I’m pretty sure I started taking art more “seriously” around the age of 5 (that was when I looked at tutorials and started drawing a lot more! I actually still have the first notebook I started to draw in, and i have almost every sketchbook I’ve drawn in saved so I could probably go back and watch myself progress if i wanted to ejdhwkehka)

personally I also really love to draw bodies!! I love drawing all the lines and details in the skin & figuring out the way that the body looks when it bends and twists certain ways! I love studying muscles & bones to try and improve too, its my favorite part about drawing agahsjshea (if we’re taking about a favorite thing to draw tho, I absolutely love drawing my blorbos… especially eren, hes so easy for me to draw)

i’d say my least favorite thing would be clothes, because even though i enjoy it sometimes, clothing is sooo hard for me to figure out ;; not just for drawing, but also figuring out what to make a character wear?? I’d rather just keep them naked tbh but thats not always possible 😭😭

And let me say thank you to you again!! I was honestly so surprised seeing you follow me sjegajveksje im honored 😭😭 🫶 Appreciate you sm cannibal!!

[here2bbtstrash]

Ugh the choice was realistic even if it was so heartbreaking for me. The whole ch was nice and realistic. The dialogue is good. I loved the funny, soft, and sexy parts. I wanted to join in on the anti-mc train, but it is realistic that she is struggling to process her emotions with Yoongi and love. esp since she had a cheating ex. (its min fucking yoongi tho huh?? i got so jealous in this ch lol) How could she think he had some bad intentions for letting her sleep on the bed tho?? That's such a romance cliche. She's so dense that it's annoying even if it's part of enemies to lovers ugh. Morning sex with Yoongi where he whispers in her ear omg! Yoongi being a simp especially with the dress. The lil piano moment aww. As a poc and asian in the US, fuck racists. Love that mc and yoongi defend each other aww. The karaoke part was so funny! Cat and dog with cat ears. imagining yoongi doing that is so funny lol. I'm a lil sad that they didn't indulge in pet play and got cockblocked tho lol. Ahh the drunk confession!! Mc realize your feelings and accept them omg! Jimin push her! Also music artist Yoongi in the fic??! If yes, please say what type of songs he makes. esp to manifest for his solo album. As a Yoongi stan, I am torn between wanting his album and promotions to arrive faster or not.

eeeee anon !!! thank u for taking the time to share your thoughts with me, i love long feedback like this it really means the world 🥺

realistic is my FAVORITE compliment so i'm very honored you feel that way 🫠 i was going for realism in the grammy results too obv, and it absolutely broke my heart to write it ❤️‍🩹 SORRY YOONGI we all know he deserved to win 😩

ahhhh i really appreciate you picking up on that piece of backstory we got out of reader! she talks about it pretty flippantly but infidelity in a relationship can really leave a wound and definitely make it hard to trust people or assume good intentions! i cannot deny that she is also dense tho lmaooooo like.... you're not wrong 🤣

yoongi was SUUUUUCH a simp this chapter and i had so much fun writing him as one 🤭 the asshole exterior is melting!!!! the slow burn is burning 😩

fuck racists enough saiddddd 💜

HAHAHA NOT INDULGING IN PETPLAY IN THE NORAEBANG 💀 they have to save that for the office ofc 🤪

lmaoooo jimin tried too 😭 it's all up to reader now, we gotta see how it goes in the morning when they both wake up with raging hangovers 🥴 what could possibly go wrong

and ooooop you caught that lil mention didn't ya 👀 let's just say that's not the last we'll hear about yoongi's music - or should i say agust d 🥵

THANK YOU for reading and sharing your thoughts with me!!! can't wait to drop chapter 10 on you sooooon 😘💜

[openupforme]

hi :) 🥰🥰🥰 tehehe this might be a very silly ask, a really horny ask, or both! idk i’m on my period rn so it could be both bc damn my emotions are allllllll over the place. one second i’m horny. the next i’m sad lmao??? okay so i know u probably won’t mind (bc u seem like a well adjusted person), but hmmm idk when that masturbation ask is gonna be finished. last week was testing tf out of me. i think it was because my period was about to start?? but yeah i felt like shit and everytime i tried to finish it, i just couldn’t?? even tho i wanted to? and had the time? like 🙄🙄🙄 very annoying. you might get it, you might not. or i could just write something else that’s equally as horny who knows!!!! the possibilities are endless for silly dykes like me 😤😌

this morning tho i was soooooo worked up omfg. i woke up so needy and just salivating at having my mouth filled by a butch like woah!!! what happened to hello? how are you? my name is? but it’s okay i’ve accepted that anytime butches are involved my brain forgets to think and all my dignity leaves me. i’m thinking of three specific butches in mind rn hmmmm. yeah god bless butches fr!!!! YOU JUST HAVE NO IDEA HOW FINE ALL THREE OF THEM ARE UGHHHG. all them are so beautiful and smart and charming 🥹🥹🥹 wait where was this going lmao. horny in the morning! right! idk dude, i just need butch cock in my mouth 😭😭 butch pussy too. idgaf i’m not picky!! ohhh butch fingers as well!!!! OHHH HAIRY BUTCHES!!! woah! hairy butches <3 butch laughter <3 butch joy <3 butch giggles <3 BUTCH SMILEEEEEEEEE AHHHHH. okay damn i’m done dyking out. the lesbianism is really strong today, what are they putting in my water.

MOVING ONNNN!! i finally finished Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg!! i have complex thoughts n feelings but the book was so hard to finish. like the second half specifically was rough bc of the loneliness Jess experiences is so fucking profound. it just radiates thru every word on the page and i just felt so much for her. i’m so proud of her tho and her growth towards the end. and i kind of dislike Theresa! like i respect her but i also dislike her and ugh!! complex feelings like i said!! have u read SBB??? ohhh or what about that novel u were reading while drinking that juice? (i don’t remember what kind of juice it was) is the novel good? idk lemme know if u wanna. stay safe cutie 🥰 (and everyone else ofc!! ohh and esp u cow anon. ur so fucking cute!!!)

- kneeling femme

Been a busy boy but here I am. Hi kneeling femme 🦦 Never silly (even when it is, it’s still cute), and was it all for me? Nothing wrong with your pussy throbbing for me, even during this time. That’s sweet of you to say, and I think I’m well adjusted as well. Huge compliment, my cheeks are PLUMP FROM SMILING. THATS COMPLETELY OKAY AND THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME. Life happens and there is such thing as wrong time yeah? So it’s okay and it’s very thoughtful of you to tell me you reasoning as to why you didn’t. WANT TO GIVE YOU A KISS I like that the possibilities are endless but I’m sure what you wrote is absolutely divine. No need for changing what’s already perfect.

Your brain was fuzzy from the thought of my cock and your mouth was ready for it. (get it?) Sounds like you had a good start to the day. 🦦Would love to have you worship me, you seem very passionate about it. Want you to put that mouth to use. Your need for butches is turning me on. Not weirdly no. I mean every word. I love reading your butch appreciation ramble, if the goal was to make me prideful it worked. Maybe it’s not water but it’s my cum? You always seem be thirsty for it. (HOPE THIS COMMENT DOESNT CROSS A LIMIT AND IF SO LET ME KNOW, ALWAYS WANT TO RESPECT YOU)

You experienced a lot of heart-wrenching emotions but despite that it sounds like a good read. I couldn’t imagine the porches of switching/interchanging those emotions? I’m assuming these characters have WILD BACKSTORIES. I haven’t read it yet but I think I need to now. NERDY BOY ME IS JUMPING WITH JOY LOVE A GOOD BOOK. I’m always drinking some kind of fruit nectar, so tasty. I don’t remember myself if I’m honest. But I was reading the Hunting Eve series, it’s absolutely insane and I think you should look into it if you have time or wanna. And I promise to be safe. You’re so sweet, MY CHEEKS HURT. YOU be safe yeah? Know you will be, you’re a good girl. Sleep well tonight and have LOTSSSS OF WATER.

P.S. ~ ALSO SIDE NOTE IM SLEEPY BOY BUT I DID SEE YOUR ASK AND I WILL RESPOND TOMORROW. Eyes are closing.

- 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐦 🦭

[liamgallaghermpreg]

ngl, I am... honestly unsure why I followed you in the first place. Definitely related to dmc (it's my main fandom), but I have no idea what was the root incident that made me think "oooh, cool, I'll follow this person", I just know I found you on my tl again and again and it was an enriching experience, so I sought to follow your endeavours on tungle dot com as well. So far have not regretted it once, all I know about the non dmc fandoms you post is from you posting about them (besides ff because that is all over dmctwt so ive learned quite a bit through osmosis despite having never Played A Final Fantasy) but I really like the takes and the vibes. very cool would recommend

Haha tyvm anon!! I still post abt DMC a fair amount on twt though I haven’t much here (tho I RB art every so often) but yea back in the day when I had a public twt my DMCposting used to go around sometimes…the attention freaked me out a little and I locked down LOL. Enriching is such a nice compliment!! Thank you!! I v appreciate it <3

I highkey recommend Playing the Final Fantasy btw it’s very fun and will make u crazy 10/10😵‍💫

[sungbeam]

HEY HEY HEYYYYY

I’m back only to be blessed by 2 (TWOOOOOOOO) FICS PHEW WHAT HAVE I DONE TO BE BLESSED LIKE THIS

Also omg all the concert vids have me going INSANE esp with Saviour like LORD CHRIST ALMIGHTY THAT WAS THE ONE SONG THAT I HAD TO HAVE ON THE SETLIST OR I WOULD’VE DIED FR

I really hope that they come to my area for the tour esp since Sunwoo said that they weren’t sure if they’re going to do a tour next year 😭 and then Sangyeon will be enlisting soon too (not SOON soon ik but still somewhat soon 😭) so I really hope I can see an OT11 concert before then 🥹

And hopefully you’ll be able to see them too! So we can scream abt the concerts together hehehe 🤭

Also! The Hyunjae fic was TOOOOOOOOO GOOD PHEW had me tugging at my heartstrings and screaming at Hyunjae to stop being oblivious but it *is* a bad habit for us virgos 😔💔 and the confession scene AHHHHHHHH the whole fic kinda felt like an early 2000s romcom aka the BEST era for romcoms and I ate it up SCRUMPTIOUSLY such a sweet ending the the main/bigger fic section of the series and I really can’t wait to see the rest but please take your time and there’s no rush as I also saw that you’ve been feeling stressed irl so please take a break if you need to! I’m sure we’ll all be waiting patiently for your return to writing and your mental health is top priority so please always take care of yourself first! 🥺🫶

THE MOST RECENT CHANGMIN FIC THO WOAH. So what if I was giggling and kicking my legs 🙄 Changmin’s duality is what has me going insane man 😤 and I always appreciate the love-hate banter hehe e2l is my guilty pleasure what can I say 😵‍💫

All in all, I’m always happy to log back into tumblr and go straight to your blog to check for any updates and just your regular posts bc I find you to be v funny and just like me fr 😭💖 but please take care of yourself and do what you have to do! You got this! *virtual kiss and hug hehe*

P.s. I did the quiz and I got Chanhee! I did cry cause he’s just saur… saur sweetie I love him sm TT

- Love, 🌷 anon

OMG TULIP HI LOVEY !!!

PLS IM SO KSNFKD i've been hard avoiding concert clips bc i get fomo low-key 😔 i will watch them soon tho trust !! BUT ALSP THE FACT THAT THEY PERFORMED SAVIOR SKFNSKFN KILL ME NOW IM NOT READY I AM NOT PREPARED RED ALERT RED ALERT—

DKCNKE PLS SANGYEON ENLISTING I CANT EVEN IMAGINE like i just realized how many of the groups i stan haven't gone to the military yet and that's gonna be so odd, but i do hope i get to see them before they go (_ _;) if they come to my city/cities and if i can afford it and find people to go with too :') OMG BUT I HOPE U GET TO GO SKCNKDFN CUZ IF I DONT U CAN TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT :'))))

AHAHHAHAAH IM CRYING NOT THE US VIRGOS BIT 😭😭😭 waiiiiit a min—thats such a big compliment that it feels like a 2000s romcom 😭😭😭 i actually am so stoked that u think that ahhhhhsjjcjd yeah im taking my time w them :') writing's been slow for me lately, and mental health has not been at its best but im tryna pull thru!! the past couple of days have def been a lot better which is why i've been so active, but im def always feeling like im just waiting for the ball to drop ;-;

ANYWAYS yes the uh,,, haha changmin fic 🤡 i had the beginning of it just sitting in my docs and i finally got to finishing it on the plane, so there it is 🤡 PLS HIS DUALITY MAKES ME SWERVE TO HIM SO HARD ITS RIDICULOUS and honestly i LOOOOOVE writing banter like that for him and his character(s) like that's what brings me absolute delight in writing 🤌🏻

PLS U FLATTER ME SO (ﾉ´∀｀*) im not often told that im funny so thank u :')) ig we just vibe like that then !! HUGS AND KISSES AND GOLD STARS FOR U MWAH MWAH

(omg chanhee 🥺 congrats !!! thanks for taking the quiz teehee)

[valkyrayn]

breeding kink anon here 👉🏻👈🏻🥴 just came out of my shell to say aaah tysm for answering my ask and also if im a lil too blunt excuse me as i am recovering from a crazy night out so i may just speak my horny thoughts openly 🤭

I really liked the wholesome twist you gave to each of the men's answers and lowk marius' one almost had me feeling tears bc i feel for this man TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT PLS. Luke was spicy and Artem and Vyn were cute, all were *chef's kiss* thank you for the brainrot. i've tired myself out of most of the good smuts so this was a delicious treat 😩 been reading you for a bit of time basically ever since you started the blog on here and I always look forward to your posts whether it be answering anons or writing <3 I think i read that you've been having a rough few weeks so I hope you feel better soon and have been taking care 🥺

on a side note tho, marius is totally nasty like that- and if ppl tell me he hasn't at least tried to draw you nude or in debauched positions/clothing, dress u up in cute custom lingerie designed by himself, or fucked you in his art studio imma think they lying (on top of office sex ofc), or basically tried to on every surface in the von Hagen estate. i almost feel bad for his butler and vincent. 🥵 bet he would make it a challenge for you to keep his cum inside you as you go about your day when ur hanging around his home on both your days off, wearing one of his shirts and if he notices any leaking down your legs or panties he will not hesitate to either push it back in with his fingers or pump you full again~ despite whatever you may have been pre-occupied with at that current moment, just you being filled with his seed makes him feral.

p.s. I plan on sticking around for some time and idk if you give out anons emojis bc my brain fuzzy rn and i can't quite recall 💀 but if you do I don't mind being assigned one related to alcohol or your choice hehe.

anon you’re so sweet!! i had to take a while just to think of how to respond to such a nice message 🥺 i appreciate you so much! my week is better this time around! i hope you’ll have great weeks ahead too anon, you deserve it 💜

now back to horny. what if i tell you (cn server spoiler) that that is canon now 👀 they implied it 👀 maybe not as filthy as we’d think but i mean, i’d like to believe so lmfao. but also yes! he’s the kind of man who will definitely fuck you everywhere and anywhere — as long as there’s a flat surface, he’ll definitely fuck you on it 🧎🏻‍♀️

and omghdhshshhs not that making me crazy horny. after a whole night of just sex over and over again, you can barely feel your legs but you get up from bed anyway to go make yourself a cup of coffee. he comes up behind you and hugs you from the back before slowly, sliding his hand down to your cunt. he pulls your folds open with his fingers and shoves his middle finger inside your hole. it’s hot, wet and laced with his cum from last night. he pushes in deeper, letting the semen leak and slide down his finger. you arch your back at the sensation, a soft moan leaving your lips.

“jiejie, you’re so full—look at you, dripping all over my fingers.” he then pulls out and shows you his fingers, coated with both your combined fluids. he slowly pushes them past your lips and you lick them clean. you’re so turned on, it hurts. you need him inside you. and he knows this. “i wanna fill you up again…”

he pulls down his briefs and shoves his hardened cock inside you. and fuck does he stretch you full, you’ll never get used to his size. you’re always just so tight around him and it takes all of him not to cum right away. he fucks you against the counter, grabbing onto your hips and ass. wrapping his fingers around your neck and pulling you against him as he fucks your rough and fast. you swear you can feel the fluids sloshing inside you from how wet everything is. and it’s only going to get messier.

“marius—please! want more…”

“i know baby. i’ll give you what you want. i know you want me to pump another load inside you…fill you up again…so you can feel all hot and full inside…”

your walls tighten at his words and soon you’re gushing around him. you coat his cock with your fluids, your body trembling against him as you orgasm over and over again. he moans your name and slams harder inside you, and he’s so deep you can almost feel your heart stop. “oh fuck such a good girl—i’m gonna—ah”

nothing will ever beat the sensation of having marius shoot his cum inside you. it’s so hot and the load is almost always huge, thanks to him being young and full of testosterone. he fills you up so full and now you’re left with a messier cunt than it was just minutes ago. he holds you against him and despite still being plugged inside you, you can still feel his semen overflow and leak out of you and onto the floor. you make a mental note to clean that mess before he gets poor vincent to do it.

i feel like i still have a lot of horny in my system after that omg this man will be the death of me. also thank you for such a delicious spicy brainrot anon. and i’m giving you the 🍷 emoji cus i love wine!

[sleepysnk]

i fell in LOVE with the ideas you gave me about streamer!eren so here we go! thank you again and i hope you enjoy <3

Jaegerbomb is Streaming

Pairings: Streamer!Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None

Jaegerbomb is now streaming

Eren adjusted his mic as the stream began, it was a Friday night and he was doing his usual nightly stream. He talked about it on Twitter so he expected a lot of people to be tuning in tonight, as well as it was a Friday night and not many people had school the next day.

"What's up guys?" Eren said as he watched the views begin to go up and the viewers tuned in.

He watched people type in the chat sending the usual 'hi eren!' or the 'hey eren!' he was used to the these messages, a smile forming onto his face.

"Good to see you guys here again! I honestly have no idea what I'm gonna play tonight but we'll go with it," he said, looking at the different chats.

He began to read the different messages that were being sent, some people complimented him or asked how his day was to which he responded with 'thank you' or 'my night has been great'.

Eren was a popular streamer.

He gained popularity within a few months after he streamed with some pretty well known streamers, his raging and yelling is what got him noticed by people, as well as his appearance. People got a kick out of him all the time and he was definitely going places.

Eren was cute, he had emerald-like eyes, brown hair, a sly sexy smile, and he always looked amazing no matter what. It attracted female attention as well as some males, Eren didn't mind it though, he loved interacting with fans on a daily basis; he also had a pretty big fanbase with 400k followers on Twitter and 90k Instagram followers. They were all amazing people and Eren couldn't ask for better.

His rage was something people found to be hilarious, there were compilations of him yelling at Call of Duty or screaming when playing the popular horror games. There was also this one time Eren's mom walked in and yelled at him when he was being too loud, and people found it to be hilarious.

He called his fans the 'Jaegerists', his fanbase was very sweet and there was rarely any toxicity in it. Which in Eren's opinion, was very relieving.

When Eren got popular he was very nervous of the issues that came with it, sometimes people would recognize him on the street or people in his classes would bring up his streams. It was something Eren enjoyed, but he tended to keep his streaming life out of his personal life. It was also a request by Carla, his mother. She told Eren to be careful and always be wary of the internet.

He did exactly that and here he was now, sitting with 7k people watching him.

"What should I play tonight? I was thinking we could do Cold War or Minecraft, but being honest Cold War is a bit boring right now; so let me know guys!" Eren said, scrolling through his chat.

Within seconds people began replying saying either Cold War or Minecraft.

Suddenly, a few notifications started popping in from a few of his viewers.

jaegerbombfan10 donated 30 coins!

iloveeren_ donated 10 coins!

erenjaeger21 donated 5 coins!

Eren smiled as he got the donations, it was common for his viewers to donate to him and he was very thankful for it. He never begged his fans for donations or any of that and that's what people liked about Eren, he never asked for anything other than love and kindness.

"Thank you to those who donated! You're all amazing!" he said with a smile.

The usual kudos came into chat and people sent in hearts to the chat which made Eren feel 10x more happier, he enjoyed what his fans were doing for him and he was so thankful.

"Alright I think Minecraft won.. so today we're gonna do that," Eren added, narrowing his eyes a bit at the different chats which suggested the game.

Eren skimmed through his computer and began to load the game, it took a few moments but the main screen popped up and Eren put on his headset.

His eyes averted to the chat's people were sending in.

jaegerbombswife: eren u look so good

ereniloveyou_: minecraft is so cool eren

jaegerbombsbiggestfan: omg eren u look so cute right now ❤

jaegerist21: ooo minecraft? sounds fun eren!

"I feel like a mess right now but thank you guys, really. What music should I play tonight? Let me know in the chat," he said before turning back to the screen and entering his world.

It was pretty common for Eren to stream during the night, he doesn't really have the time during the day to stream since he has school and other important personal things to deal with.

He scrolled through the chats with different artists and songs, "You guys want Pop Smoke? I played him last time.. how about some The Kid Laroi? He has some good songs," he said, clicking through to find his spotify.

Eren clicked on a random song and went back to Minecraft, he started by running around and organizing his items because a few people in the chat were complaining about his inventory.

"Oh shush! Not everyone is perfect! My house is dope okay?" Eren said before chuckling a bit.

Suddenly, a few notifications came through which caught Eren's attention.

y/nloveseren donated 500 coins!

y/nloveseren donated 1000 coins!

y/nloveseren donated 800 coins!

That was surprising.. not many people donate three times in a row, and with that many coins either.

Eren watched as the user moved from the bottom of the donation list to the very top, whoever it was, they were donating a lot of coins to him.

"Yo! Y/nloveseren! Thank you for your donations!" he said, smiling to himself.

A few chats suddenly bubbled in.

jaegerist45: damn whoever that is they donated a lot.

jaegerbombsbiggestfan407: omg fr!

iloveueren77: eren i can donate later!

y/nloveseren: of course! ♡ you're one of my favorite streamers <3

Eren smiled at the message, "Nah thank YOU for donating! It's appreciated," he replied.

As Eren continued playing Minecraft throughout the night y/nloveseren continued to donate to him, they ended up donating about five or six times after and it was surprising for him. He hadn't ever seen this person in his streams before, he tends to remember usernames, but theirs didn't ring much of a bell. They must have been a silent viewer.

"You guys can ask some questions by the way! It's only midnight and I really wanna hear from you guys," he said, taking a sip of his water bottle.

Questions began to fill into the chat.

jaegerbombbbb21: eren will you ever play outlast?

erensimp34: how tall are you eren?

jaegerist0123: does ur mom know about u streaming?

erensbiggestfan31: are u single?

Eren skimmed through the different questions, some were the usual and some were odd. "Well to answer, I will play Outlast at some point. I am 6'1, my mom does know I stream, and yes I am single." he replied.

Many reactions came from the chat, people saying how sexy his height was or talking about how he was single.

y/nloveseren: ur single!? holy shit

Eren chuckled a bit, "Yeah I am single.. it's mainly 'cause I never really found anyone who was going to stick around you know?" he said.

y/nloveseren: can i place my minecraft bed next to yours then? ;)

Eren's eyes widened a bit from the message, his cheeks growing a light shade of pink; nobody has ever flirted with him on a stream before. Yeah people have called him sexy or said he was hot, but a flirt was never thrown.

"Y/nloveseren you definitely caught my attention with that.. but sure! I'll let you," he smirked.

The chat suddenly went wild with people sending in messages about what he said, others pointed out his blush or the way he was smirking right now.

jaegerist45: eren a simp? ooop

iloveyoueren_: what? :/ eren what about me 🙄?

erensimp34: SIMPPPP

erenishot386: did u guys see him blush? I GOT IT ON CAMERA

jaegerist219: omg he blushed? y/nloveseren keep talking!!

Eren smiled to himself, "Alright settle down guys! What they said was nice, okay? Nothing serious."

y/nloveseren: aw :( i was serious tho! you are quite the cutie <3 i deadass can't believe you noticed that message 😭!

y/nloveseren donated 400 coins!

"Thank you y/nloveseren! Seriously, you are kicking ass tonight," he said. "I'm definitely not the cutest but thank you, really!"

Within the next few hours, Eren and a few other viewers chatted about new games and a few embarrassing stories Eren told them. The one person who stood out to him though, was y/nloveseren. They donated a lot that night and Eren even chatted with them.

"Alright guys! I'll see you all soon! Goodnight," Eren said, waving at the camera.

jaegerist45: night eren!

iloveeren716: goodnight Eren! ♡

y/nloveseren: night Eren! sleep well <3

Eren stopped the stream and leaned back in his chair, who was y/nloveseren? And why couldn't he stop thinking about them?

-

The next few weeks of streaming were exciting for Eren, a few new games were released and he started playing them for his fans. He gained more popularity from the games as well and he was happy to see new people trickling in.

Though, Eren had another thing to look forward to when streaming.

(Y/N).

He actually ended up finding out her name, yes she was a girl.

During one of his streams he asked a few questions about her, of course she was happy to respond to Eren and he always looked forward to seeing her in his streams. She was his top donater and he was always excited to see her pop in, it was odd; Eren never felt this way before.

She was a fan, someone who looked up to him, yet Eren felt... excited to see her? He would get nervous if he didn't see her join a stream or he'd be disappointed if she left early, it was odd. He wasn't sure why he felt this way.

His fans pointed it out as well, they noticed Eren would smile a lot whenever he spoke to her or he would laugh at her jokes.

Eren never did that, not even with a fan.

He was sitting in his chair, the stream had just started and people began to fill in, he was going to play a bit of Call of Duty and then he would chill.

"What's up guys? How are we doing today?" Eren asked, looking at the screen.

erenfan21: hey Eren! i'm good

jaegerist45: yoo hey!

iloveeren1827: hi eren! how are you?

y/nloveseren: hi eren!! <3

Eren smiled seeing her pop into the chat, "I'm good guys, hi (Y/N). Good to see you," he replied.

As Eren played the game he couldn't help but look over to see if (Y/N) ever talked, he didn't want to miss a message from her. Sometimes he got so distracted he would end up dying or losing a round, a lot of people took notice.

"Bro Call of Duty makes me so mad," Eren said, his brows pinching together as he focused on the screen. "Maybe I should uh.." he trailed off as he looked at the chat.

Suddenly, his controller vibrated and it showed his character dying.

"Fuck!" Eren yelled, rolling his eyes. He then turned off the game and leaned back in his chair, he was clearly mad; his rage was something that entertained people and this was no different.

erensbiggestfan31: damn Eren you're mad again?

jaegerist187: shit guys he might rage

jaegerbomb1782: ah shit, u good eren?

y/nloveseren: eren? are you okay?

His eyes flickered towards the chat, "Yeah I'm good guys! That shit pissed me off, but I'll head back in." he said, pressing a few buttons to head into the game again.

y/nloveseren: yay!! 🥰 happy Eren is the best Eren!

y/nloveseren donated 700 coins!

He smiled to himself again. She always made him smile.. it was something she did to him, she had this effect no other fan could put on him.

"Say (Y/N).. you donate a lot and I always see you here.. yet, I don't think you've ever followed me before," he said, looking at the screen.

The chat began to blow up.

jaegerist45: OOOOO 👀

iloveeren167: oh shit? eren?

y/nloveseren: i'm just shy 😭 plus i doubt you respond to dms

He ran his fingers through his brunette locks, twirling one of the strands in his fingers. "I do actually respond to dms, but you're shy? That's cute lowkey.. I actually have an idea," he smirked.

y/nloveseren: and that is? 👀

erensimp34: A CHALLENGE? y/n omg

jaegerist45: oh shit.. IM INTERESTED

jaegerbombfan20: SHE GETTING BOLD 😩

"If I win this next round of COD you gotta give me your Instagram," he said, leaning back on his chair.

The chat began to blow up with messages of people hyping (Y/N) up, a grin formed onto Eren's face seeing what people were saying. He hoped that she wasn't uncomfortable with what he said, that's the last thing Eren would ever want.

y/nloveseren: bet, deal.

His eyes widened a bit, "Shit for real? Just know I'm not forcing you, but I'm curious about you."

y/nloveseren: nah! you're fine ;) let's see if you win though

Eren smirked when his eyes scanned over the message, "Alright.. say less," he said.

He entered the game and started playing the round, he made sure to keep extra focused so he wouldn't lose. That was the last thing he wanted, he was interested in what (Y/N) was like; she was definitely intriguing.

Eren pressed his thumbs and fingers into the controller, his grip tight enough that his knuckles were white; his fans even noticed and told him it wasn't that serious, but Eren didn't care. He wanted to win and losing is something Eren hated.

Suddenly the screen flashed the victory and Eren put his hands in the air. "Hell yeah! You guys see that? Jaegerbomb is the winner!" he yelled with a smile on his face.

His chat was going crazy.

jaegerist45: YO GOOD JOB EREN

erensimp13: omg nice job eren!

jaegerbombfan20: dude u did so good!!

Eren's smile widened looking at the chat, he always enjoyed his fans telling him he was doing great.

y/nloveseren: you actually won, damn. i didn't think you would have 😭, but since you did.. you want my instagram?

Eren leaned back in his chair, "Hell yeah! Hand it over," he replied.

y/nloveseren: it's y/n.l/n!

He grabbed his phone and went to Instagram, the chat was blowing up yet again when people saw her actually put her Instagram in. They hyped her up and even told Eren that he was a lucky guy for that.

Eren found her profile instantly, he scrolled through her photos and his eyes went wide; she was gorgeous. Eren was used to pretty girls talking or messaging with him, but she.. she was different and he felt it; he couldn't help but stare at the different photos of her in the mirror or the selfies she had with a pretty smile.

He looked at the chat and moved his headset to the side, "Yo.. guys.." he said, staring at the screen.

Instantly people began asking questions. "Guys.. she is fucking gorgeous, (Y/N) you're so cute holy shit," he said, smiling to himself.

jaegerist45: YOOO EREN IS A SIMP

iloveeren3827: awe 🥺

erensimp13: SHOW USSSS

jaegerbombfan20: is she pretty? y/n omg ur so lucky

erensbiggestfan928: simpppp

jaegerist2827: DID YOU GUYS SEE HIS SMILE?

His smile turned into a frown when he saw that (Y/N) wasn't talking in the chat anymore. Did he make her uncomfortable? He didn't force her into sending it, maybe she was uncomfortable and she just didn't want to say anything.

"Yo.. (Y/N) are you there? Shit did I make you uncomfortable? I'm sorry," Eren said, putting his phone on his desk.

He shook his leg watching the different people responding to what was going on, a few people apologized to her; they said that they didn't mean to make her feel weird or force her into telling Eren her Instagram.

His eyes flickered when he saw her name.

y/nloveseren: omg no! you didn't make me uncomfortable at all :) thank you for your comments tho! 💗 you made me smile

Eren felt relief wash over him, "Ugh thank god! I thought I made you feel grossed out! But it's my pleasure.. you are beautiful," he said.

People started to leave messages like 'awe <3' or 'omg guys Eren is so simping right now'. All in all, he found (Y/N) extremely attractive and he decided to follow her, he silently prayed that maybe just maybe.. they would talk outside of the stream.

Eren noticed how late it was, it was currently 2:31 A.M. and he usually went to sleep earlier on Sunday's because of his classes.

"Alright guys! I'm gonna end it here, it is really late where I live so I'm probably gonna head to sleep. Goodnight everyone! Thank you for tuning in!" he said while waving at the camera.

Everyone wished Eren a good night and he ended the stream. He rubbed his tired eyes and went to shut off the light in his room, all he wanted was to relax and get a good night's rest.

He placed his phone onto the nightstand and rolled over to the other side of his bed, his body relaxing into the sheets and comfort of his mattress.

A sudden ping woke him up.

It was odd, nobody usually texted Eren this late except for maybe Armin who reminded him to keep quiet while he studied but Armin was out that night with Annie.

Reaching for his phone, the screen lit up; he had a notification from Instagram. More specifically, a direct message.

He unlocked his phone and noticed he had a dm from (Y/N), she actually texted him; a smile grew onto his face as he opened it up.

(Y/N): hey! i doubt you're awake, but i wanted to message you and say hey <3!

He instantly began typing back.

Eren: hey! i was about to go to bed but i wanted to respond to your message, so you're y/nloveseren right?

Within seconds she viewed the message and began typing again.

(Y/N): haha, yeah that's me! i've been watching you stream for a really long time, but i was a silent fan. i got a job recently and i decided to donate since you have always put a smile on my face lol.

Eren: wow really? that's sick! it's so cool to meet you, i always look forward to seeing your name in my streams 😭. how old are you btw?

(Y/N): it's cool speaking with you too! i'm 19 btw!

Eren was surprised, she was around his age? Some of his fans were under 18 or around 20+, but he was surprised to see someone the same age as him around. Most of the girls around his age weren't interested in streamers or gaming in general.

Eren: say uh.. do you mind maybe, getting to know one another? only if you're cool with it of course

He chewed his bottom lip waiting for a reply back, he wasn't sure what she would say. He didn't want to come off as the creepy streamer who talks to fans and does weird shit with them.

(Y/N): really? sure! i'm down :)!!

He smiled seeing the message, maybe this girl was worth losing sleep over.

-

Eren spent the last few days talking to (Y/N), he would stay up past 3 A.M. texting with her about life and getting to know her deeper.

The two connected instantly that night, (Y/N) was an university student studying psychology and she had a job at a local cafe near her apartment outside campus. She was interested in gaming and she told Eren that she had been watching his streams for a few months, she found him to be entertaining and he was one of the few streamers that weren't weird.

They shared a lot of the same experiences on a lot of things. Eren told her about the many relationships he had and how the girls instantly thought he was weird or boring for wanting to stream instead of having a career. (Y/N) had just gotten out of a really bad relationship and she told him that her ex found it weird that she watched him.

As much as Eren really liked the vibes he got from (Y/N), he was scared to get close with her. Armin warned him many times about how some 'fans' aren't actually fans, they con people and gain their trust to expose them later. Eren didn't want to be used for money or any of that, that would be the end of him.

Still though, Eren wanted to talk to her more. He hadn't ever gotten like this with a fan before, but maybe.. this could be different?

Eren was laying in bed that night, he decided not to stream because he was tired and he just felt really lazy. He was doing the usual, texting (Y/N) and listening to music.

(Y/N): what are you up to?

Eren: i'm just laying down, listening to music. wbu?

(Y/N): i was wondering if you maybe wanted to.. facetime? of course we don't have to but i feel like it could be cool?

Eren looked up for a second, maybe a facetime would be good; it could help him get to know her more and maybe he could find out if she was looking to fuck around with him.

Eren: sure! here's my number

He sent her his number and sat up, he wanted to look decent for her anyway. He fixed his messy hair and tied it back into a bun, then he zipped up his sweater.

His heart began to race, why was he feeling this way? It was just a fan nothing he couldn't handle, he silently hoped that she wouldn't think he was weird or anything.

His phone suddenly began to ring, he rushed over to his bed and grabbed his phone. It was an unsaved number so he assumed it was (Y/N). He fixed his hair and clicked the green answer button.

"Hey!" Eren said, his smile showing as he saw (Y/N) behind the screen.

She giggled, "Oh my God hi! You're so much cuter behind the screen," she replied.

Eren chuckled, "Thank you.. you're very beautiful yourself."

Her cheeks grew hot, "You're sweet but.. what's up? How are you doing tonight?" she asked with a smile on her face.

Eren leaned back in his chair, "I'm doing good, what about you? Do you work tonight?" he asked.

"No I don't actually.. that's why I decided to call you since I had some free time. Are you streaming today?" she asked.

He shook his head, "Nah.. I uh.. I decided not to since I was tired and I honestly was too lazy to get on," he chuckled.

"Oh Jaegerbomb is lazy huh? That's odd, you usually have so much energy." she giggled.

Eren smiled at her words, "Yeah I'm pretty lazy sometimes.. but y/nloveseren just insisted we facetime," he said in a dramatic tone.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh shush! I was being sweet and plus I was bored, so be thankful I asked." she said, giggling a bit.

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Oh I see.. but I am thankful! You're a pretty sweet girl (Y/N), I love talking to you."

She felt bashful around him, Eren had this impact on her and she always had butterflies whenever his name popped up into her phone. He was sweet, attractive, exciting, and most of all he was an amazing listener; something (Y/N) never had.

"Thank you, Eren. You're a really sweet guy yourself," she replied, nodding her head to the side.

He propped his phone up on his bed, he adjusted himself so he was a bit comfortable. "Of course! You deserve it (Y/N)," he smiled.

The two talked for hours that night about so many things. They told each other different stories from their childhood, they talked about weird experiences they had, and they even got a bit personal with one another. Eren felt like that was a huge plus, he could never get this personal with anyone.

He loved the vibes he got from (Y/N), she was easy to talk to, funny, sweet, she matched his vibe and the two got along so well.

Eren had his mind made up.

She was worth losing sleep over.

-

A month or two had gone by since (Y/N) and Eren started talking. They were still very close and they talked pretty much all day everyday, that was something that rarely ever happened with a fan. Most of the time Eren wouldn't speak to fans long.

He considered her a friend, but he knew inside he wanted to be more than friends with her.

He was currently streaming at the moment, he was a bored; not much was going on and he was playing some Minecraft to pass the time. (Y/N) told him earlier in the day that she wouldn't be joining the stream till later because she was working late. It slightly disappointed him, but he knew that her personal life was important.

He sighed, "What do you guys wanna talk about? Ask me anything," he said, looking towards the chat.

A few questions bubbled into his chat, some were questions that he's answered before. But one question actually caught his eye..

jaegerist3452: what do you think about y/n?

He furrowed his brows for a second, why would they be asking about her? Sure, he told people that he was speaking to her and they talked outside of the streams, but nobody really asked.

"What do I think about (Y/N)? Oh, she's dope as hell. I love talking to her, there's a lot more I can say but I dunno.. she might not like it," he replied, leaning back in his chair.

His eyes scanned back over to the chat where everyone was spamming telling him to say it and that she probably wouldn't judge him.

"You guys really want to know?" he asked, sitting up a bit.

erensimp43: yes!! i wanna know!

jaegerist45: i'm down to listen

erensbiggestfan2928: tell us!

iloveeren1010: i wanna hear!

Eren let out air through his nose. "Well (Y/N) is a really really sweet girl, she's so nice and easy to talk to. Not to mention how great of a listener she is, her personality is something I value the most about her; she always makes me laugh and talking to her is my favorite part of the day. Most of all, she's beautiful. She's such a pretty girl and.. damn, I'd love to make her mine."

The chat began to blow up with messages.

jaegerist45: that's so cute man

jaegerbombfan20: awe 🥺

iloveeren_: that's adorable holy shit

erensbiggestfan1083: simppppp but that's so nice

He smiled at the thought of her. "Yeah call me a simp but... she's really amazing," he said.

y/nloveseren: wow 🥺..

His eyes bulged out of his head when he saw her name in the chat, a blush crept onto his cheeks feeling embarrassment washing over him.

"O-Oh shit.."

Everyone began to flood messages about how Eren just got caught, he felt embarrassed and really bashful. She most likely heard everything he just said, what if she was uncomfortable?

"Shit I'm sorry (Y/N).. I shouldn't have said that shit.. we barely know one another and you're probably really upset," Eren said, rubbing his temples.

y/nloveseren: no Eren ur fine! what u said was actually really sweet 🥺💗.. thank you <3

He sat up, "Really? Wait.. so you're not mad?"

y/nloveseren: no not at all! :) i can say the same about you.. you've definitely been really sweet and i really like you

His jaw dropped and a smile formed onto his features. "Wow.. I have no words. Can we text? Please?" he asked, raising his brows.

y/nloveseren: of course <3!

Eren reached for his phone and saw her typing in their dms, his eyes flickered upwards at the chat which was now going crazy over what they both said to each other.

jaegerist45: dude that's so cute

jaegerbombfan20: I'M GONNA CRY OMG

The vibration of his phone broke him out of his thoughts, he went to Instagram to view the message from her.

(Y/N): hey :), i heard what you said and it really made my day. i was having a shitty day at work and hearing what you said made me so happy, so thank you for that. i like you, eren. i know you may not feel the same but talking to you has been so amazing and i would love to talk to you more ♡.

He smiled before sending a reply.

Eren: i would love to! talking to you has made me so much happier and i'm glad we met. everything i said was true and i want to keep talking, you're amazing.

(Y/N): sounds like a plan ❤.

Eren smiled and looked up to see his chat spamming his name, many people took the hint that he was talking to her.

"I got her guys.." he said with a smile.

[calumthoodshands]

aria!! hi!! hope all is well!! may I ask u for a ranking of Calum's tour outfits 👀 sending u positive vibes <3

myle!!!! beloved. ok i know i told you i needed time but i am finally forcing myself to do this. unfair as we all know i can only put 10 images in here, so here comes my ranking of calum's top ten outfits of the tour so far!

Starting off, in first place:

1. Milan (May 8th).There’s just something about suits — black suits — that just does it for me. It’s classy, if you do it the usual way, but because he’s Calum Hood and he’s insane, he wore a mesh shirt with it! Gracing us all with nice sneak-peeks of his tattoos. The docs with it really make the look for me, making it edgy. 10/10.

2. Ljubljana (May 6th). Listen. You might not expect this one to be so high up, but hear me out — this outfit is good. He tucked the shirt in, wore a nice grey to let the blue shine, the shirt itself is just one of my absolute personal favourites of his. It has such a pretty colour, the collar is cool with its v-shape, and the necklace really makes it, giving it all a nice finish. The thing about some of his tour outfits so far is that they’re not always… complete. Like there’s a nice shirt okay, and pants, but that’s where the list ends. This outfit is different. It’s fucking good. Almost perfect. 9.5/10.

3. Zurich (May 2nd). Another rather simple outfit, but i really love it. I like the short sleeves on the shirt, the choker/necklace with it, the cut of the pants. The whole dark colour (black i’m pretty sure although it looked green somewhere) really compliments his skin tone. It works so well for him over all! 9/10.

4. Hamburg (April 25th). My show hehe. I LOVE this shirt. What the fuck! It’s so cool, I love the stark contrasts and the motive. Besides, he paired it with shorts (sorry not to show them but i couldn’t not show that grin), and higher socks, and it was just hot. 9/10.

5. Prague (April 29th). Look. The orange sleeves are an eyecatcher. They lift the whole look up to another level! (I’m also an advocate for orange.) i really like it even tho it was otherwise simple. Also, again, the short sleeved button up and shorts with the socks, I am a fan! 8/10.

6. London (April 6th). I think we can all agree that we went a little insane over this. Right? Like… that shirt… had no business being that tight…. Also i really liked the pants! Green on Calum Hood is always a yes from me. And he’s smiling so cute. Apart from that: arm. Thank you! 7/10.

7. Plymouth (April 11th). This outfit has one fault. It is just a little too boring. I love the button up! It’s flowey and of thin material and an interesting pale colour, the cut is really nice, and he makes the wide pants with it work. But. It doesn’t go much further than that unfortunately. Great potential, but not perfectly executed. 7/10.

8. Vienna (May 3rd). Vienna! Vienna. If you missed my reblog spree of this photo you missed out. I reblogged that photo 20 times for a reason. I like this outfit! More every day than stage maybe, but I like that it puts black on the sideline for once, and the grey pants look great on him. The shirt is obviously also very nice. Also necklace. He knows what he’s doing with that and i don’t like it. 6.89/10.

9. Banquet Show (1) in London (April 1st)/Liverpool (April 9th). I’m putting these two together because he wore the same pants and only a different shirt in Liverpool with it. I like the pants, they’re fun! And especially in this case i like the long sleeve bc of the flames on the sleeve. He also wore the necklace with it. Even tho this is also a cosier outfit, the pants do make it and allow this one to be a 6/10.

10. Budapest (April 30th). The thing about this outfit is that while, Arm, that’s also it. I do appreciate arm but i also appreciate fitted clothes, sorry. It’s over all also very… normal. In comparison to the others. So that’s while it only gets a 4/10. Sorry!

Thank you so much for making me do this Myle, it was more fun than I expected!! I hope whoever read it enjoyed it and let me know where you disagree. I’m open to all opinions. Love you Myle!! 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

end of the year sap post

so another year has come and gone, and it has been....quite a lot, to say the least. and im not going to get into a god-awful amount of detail, but lets just say that it was very stressful when it was stressful, and sometimes enjoying really fun things was hard to do. i wrote a lot this year, now that i think about it. i started writing for different fandoms, i picked up several hyperfixations (and some havent dropped off yet) i created two wonderful brand new characters, who i love very much. and im really proud of myself for it. 

 im usually really bad at keeping up with stuff, and being consistent, but i really think that i did really well this year in writing, and creating new things and such. i go through hobbies like candy, but writing has stuck like glue lol. i went through a lot of really Not Good stuff this year, both in and out of fandom, and i just think that me being able to say “im still me” and stick to my values is really good. im really happy with what i created though. i dont compliment myself a lot, but im giving myself a pat on the back, and a big fat hug for everything that i’ve been through, and that i still have the courage to be here. and still loving my friends and family, and loving my hobbies. im really proud of myself, truly.

i couldnt have done a lot of that with my mutuals, both ones i talk to, and the ones that i dont anymore. theyre exceptionally kind, and funny, and keep me going. i couldnt be more thankful for their presence in my life.

(yes i will be complimenting my closer mutuals, they all deserve it)

@super-unpredictable98  she’s literally amazing. writes so much good stuff for so many medias!! flor has super good anime recommendations, and she never fails to make me fall in love with a character. i love screaming about all might with her lol. i love her OC’s. (JJ would love to be friends with Alma). i can be found rereading her fics close to daily bc theyre literally so good, and when i have brainrot for a character that she’s written, i go straight to her masterlist.

@bisexualnathanyoung ry is super sweet :). i love talking to them (even if it’s just me screaming in the tags most of the time) i like hearing about their thoughts on stuff, and even tho i wanna punch him, their love for nathan young is incredible and unmatched. me 🤝 ry *tired of people in our respective states being rude about COVID stuff*

@badsext i love her so much :). somehow a lot of our conversations end up being about food (and make each other hungry). i love hearing about different stuff thats been going on in her life, and she also has really good show and movie recommendations. her short stories are phenomenal btw. very funny and nice :)

@magic-multicolored-miracle we dont talk much, BUT i really appreciate shye’s presence. she has really good taste in music, and works very hard. she made me fall in love with derek sandoval, and every chapter “idiot affectionate” has a deathgrip on me, as well as any updates about olive and jess’ livelihood. i love her posts about mass effect too (even tho im lost half the time lol) extremely talented.

@joz-stankovich got me hooked on bakugou and he has a fucking chokehold on me. (if u dont call him off, im gonna log him off of the earth permanently/j). they’re super talented. i was very excited (and still am) when they started having brainrot for BNHA stuff bc i was like “ah, another pal to share class 1-a thoughts with”. theyre also super duper talented and their writing is g r e a t. i love talking about country! kirishima with them, and art student! bakugou. brainrot hours? brainrot hours. also really good at art like keep some talent for the rest of us/lh.

@the-freckled-luba  we dont talk very much, but from june to mid september, the loki series was our braincell (as well as mobius), and our braincell ONLY. i love seeing the stuff you tag me in, and i really appreciate your good vibes! very sweet individual :)

@hucklebunny very talented human being right here! their art is super impressive!! also i love their text posts about their dogs and cool things. it’s very neat! we mostly talk through tags, and through the server, but i love said interactions lol. i love hearing them talk about sean falco, and as of late, the red riding trilogy :). its super cool.

@maerenee930 such a sweetheart! mae is really sweet! she always has nice stuff to say about people! also their earrings are super cool (i want the kool-aid burst ones pls). gives very good advice!! i would give them a hug given the opportunity. has the voice of a literal angel, audition for the voice right now bestie.

@firstpersonnarrator we do not talk much, but i quite literally love her writing so much. simon x billy is a great series, and ive loved reading it so far! i like the comedic and honest feel her writing has to it! its very unique, and is super SUPER good. i enjoy her love for simon lewis as well! very funny individual!

@catsnathan anna is so sweet! we don’t talk very often, it’s mostly in the server, but you always have something nice to say! i admire your love for cats btw, and i hope that you can get one soon! you deserve all the kitties!

@santacarlahorrorshow​ i love seeing ur gifs! they’re always really nice and crisp! and i know that if i ever need something, you’re there :). also i love your stranger things fics and the sirius fic! so much delitches plot, and just mm yes.

@candyclaw literally super cool! we dont talk super often, but i always enjoy it when we do :). they have super cool cosplays, and are a very talented painter! her “shinji in the frog chair” painting is fucking iconic, i laughed, i cried, Y E S. i enjoy seeing them post about evangelion stuff (bc that show genuinely fucked me up, same with the movies, i cant look thru the evangelion tag) it means i get free evangelion related stuff to think and talk about. also deltarune chapter 2 came out this year, and seeing them reblog stuff about it made my brain go brrrr bc i am shaking hands with them in solidarity for that game series.

@salvador-daley we dont talk very often, however its always fun when we do! very talented writer. salv is also very very funny! i remember seeing a new chapter of a fic, then i realized i hadnt read the previous ones in depth and went ham over on ao3. 

@frogs--are--bitches we also dont talk very often, but mickey is a very cool individual! they have a really good sense of not only style, but also humor! no but for real, hand over entire closet.

@forenschik loki brainrot pals. we dont talk very often, but its always really pleasant! very talented painter as well (i think about the shoes you did and im baffled at how good they are) also being a chemist is such a good job! its super cool to me!

@seancekitsch we also dont talk alot, but her fashion sense is also super duper cool! i still have not watched the lost boys, but i do enjoy seeing you post about the witcher. (i also have not watched that show). very talented writer!!! glad to chat with her whenever i get the chance :)

@neuroticpuppy we dont speak very often. its just me leaving tags on stuff lol. very cool person tho!! i enjoy seeing her reblog stuff whenever it pops up, and it’s very nice vibes.

dont feel bad if i left u out, i promise it wasnt on purpose (unless it was in which, i hope you’re doing well and drinking water. also i never stopped caring, contrary to what you may think.). but i did some good things. and also some really bad things that i’ll never forgive myself for. i cant say im a better person or anything bc i dont know if i experienced much mental growth, really. i learned more things, sure. but idk if too terribly much has changed. 

im forever grateful for my mutuals’ presence. and im extremely thankful for the time ive spent with all of yall so far. you make everything a lot better for me. and im sure you do the same for other individuals in your lives. im very proud of each and every one of you. for what you all have done this year, and every other year you’ve spent alive and breathing. i love yall. and you all matter to me more than you can ever imagine. So here’s to next year, and whatever it may bring!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            ~Ellie

[movedbl0g]

stray kids - reacting to you being an artist

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

🖤requested by @tayatubby

-> I hope you like it!!

(Gifs also belong to their original owners)

————————————————————

Bang Chan:

Chan finally got a day off, he was spending the last days in his studio, busy with working on new music. So when you finally could meet again, you decided to go on a picnic date, bringing cinnamonrolls and a lot of other stuff with you.

After you ate, Chan laud down, his head pointing up while resting on your thigh, slowly drifting to sleep. You softly stroked his hair, when u had an idea. You grabbed your sketchbook from the bag besides you and you started to draw the peacefully sleeping man in front of you.

You were almost finished, just a few little details missed, so you were looking at Chan, appreciating his features in order to draw them right. All of the sudden, a little “hey! You’re staring!”, brought you back to earth, as you were completely zoning out. “Oh- I I’m sorry I just-“ , you stumbled nervously, but after your eyes met Chans , you both laughed it off.

Then, Chans eyes fell into your sketchbook. “What are you drawing?”, he curiously asked trying to peak on the page. You tried the close the sketchbook as fast as possible, but Chans fast reflexes already kicked in and he grabbed the book before you could close it.

As he saw your drawing, he immediately blushed and let out a small chuckle. “I didn’t know that you can draw that well y/n! This looks really amazing!! Why am I only seeing this now?? Please,,can tou draw something for me??”

Lee Know:

You were sitting on the couch in the large dance practice room,the room filled with the sound of music and Minho’s steps. He has been practicing for a while now, while you carefully watch every movement he makes.

After a while you decided to draw a little, you always had a sketchbook and a pencil with you (just in case), so you pulled it out of your beg and opened a free page.You started to sketch the different movements Minho did, analyzing his anatomy and emotions, trying to include them in your sketches.

Once you had the base of several movements and poses in the paper, you started working on the little details. You were so caught up in drawing, that you didn’t notice that the music suddenly stopped and that Minho walked up to you.

“I didn’t know that you could draw that well, y/n!”, he said and you clearly heard the amazement in his voice. “Thank you”, you said while your cheeks flushed red. “But no matter how good my drawing skills are”, you continued,” the drawings will never look as handsome as you do in real life”.

Changbin:

Finals week were coming up soon, but you just couldn’t concentrate on the school stuff in front of you. You tried listening to calm music and asmr, but nothing seemed to help. Your mind just kept swaying to other things or well...Changbin.

You started to mindlessly scribble on your notes,but after a while you started to draw an actual portrait from Changbin on your notes, trying to bring in all the details, like the sparkle in his eyes and cute dimples.

“I thought you wanted to study”, a voice behind you said, causing you to jump. You blushed and tried to cover the drawing on your notes but Changbin already laud his eyes on it. “Is- is that me??”, he asked,you were not able to tell if he liked it or if he thought that it looked horrible.

You hid your face in your hands, trying to hide the embarrassed look an your face. “Yes...maybe....”, you said slowly, waiting for a clear reaction. Changbin started to giggle, blushing from your cuteness “it really looks amazing, you could definitely sell this!”

You both started to giggle. “Well, maybe you should draw another one tho, because these math equations kinda kill the vibe”, he added,giving you a small peck before walking into the bathroom.

Hyunjin:

“You really think that you can draw better than me?”, Hyunjin asked teasingly. “I mean we could do a drawing contest and let the other members decide who won”, you answered confidently,raising an eyebrow at him.

What Hyunjin didn’t know,is that you always were good in arts and you even studied it for a while, before you decided to concentrate on other things. After you both agreed on a theme you both started drawing, a wall of arts supplies blocking you both from looking at the other’s artwork.

Time flew by quickly, you were both silent for the most time, concentrating on the drawing in front of you. “I’m finished!”, Hyunjin suddenly screamed, confidence written in his face and you can’t help but let out a small giggle.

Hyunjin eyed you offended “so you’re thinking your winning, huh”, he stated in a teasing voice, “then show me your drawing fir-“. He stopped in the middle of his sentence, as you turned around your artwork to him, causing him to gasp out loud. “Nooooo”, he whined dramatically,” how was I supposed to know that you’re THAT good at drawing....this is not fairrrrr”

Jisung:

It was the first time that you two went to your apartment. You had been together for a few months now, but you always met at different places and mostly the dorm.

The two of you had bags filled with groceries in your hand,since you were planning on cooking together this evening.After a little bit of struggle you opened your apartment door and held the door open for Jisung, letting him walk in, while his eyes explored your apartment.

As you put down the groceries in your kitchen, Jisungs eyes fell on the colorful wall in your apartment, it was filled with little drawing, landscapes, forms and a lit of different things, but somehow it all harmonized to one big picture.

As you catched your boyfriend staring at the wall, you walked up to him, wrapping your arms around his chest while pulling him close “Do you like it?”, you asked. “Are you kidding me??”, he answered, his voice excited while his eyes were still lingering on the wall, “this is one of the most amazing and beautiful things I’ve ever seen...I can really be happy to have such an talented partner like you, y/n”

Felix:

“Do you want to help me decorate this cake??”, Felix yelled from the kitchen,while you were busy scrolling on your phone in the living room. “Sure,,I’m on my way!!”, you screamed back, putting your phone down and making your way into the kitchen.

“The cake smells totally amazing!!”, you complimented as you pulled Felix into a tight back hug. The boy giggled,putting both of his hands on yours.”what theme do we want to go for?”, he asked while turning around, so that he can face you. “what about if we try to recreate the latest album cover and draw a group photo on it?”, you suggested.

“But isn’t that kinda complicated?”, Felix asked worried, but you gave him a reassuring smile. “ I mean yeah, it’s not very easy, but if we mess up we just have to eat the cake as quick as possible, so no one sees it” you said jokingly, turning to the cake to star decorating it.

After some time you were finished with decorating, the kitchen was a really big mess, but the cake turned better out than you expected. “Woahhhhh”, Felix let out as he saw the cake. “You’re talent is crazy...like wowww look at that.....”, he immediately pulled out his phone to take a picture of the beautiful decorated cake. “Now i really don’t want to eat that cake, because this artwork of yours is more than amazing”

Seungmin:

You were sick today, so you stayed at home to rest and get healthy again as soon as possible.But as time went by,you started to get really bored, so you decided to look up pictures from your boyfriend and decided to draw him.

Your bed was quickly filled with art supplies, your sketchbook on your thighs as you started to draw. You started with a simple sketch, but it soon turned into a detailed fanart and you even incorporated colors (what you usually don’t do).

After the piece was finally finished, you had to go to the toilet, so you put down the drawing on your bed and rushed into the bathroom. While you were away, Seungmin returned home, bringing your favorite take out food with him.

As he entered your bedroom, he saw the drawing of him on your bed and looked at it for a while. “Why did you print out a picture from me?”, Seungmin asked as you came back. “Huh...what?” You asked confused, until he pointed out your drawing. Your cheeks turned red and you started to giggle. “Minnie, that’s a drawing...”

Jeongin:

You came home from work and found your boyfriend in the living room drawing while talking to his fans in vlive. You gave him a small smile as a greeting and he immediately smiled back at you.

“Do you wanna draw with me?”, he asked while holding up a blank paper. You hesitated at first, but after he gave you a pouting-puppy-stare you gave in and took the paper from his hand, sitting dien behind the camera, facing Jeongin.

He continued to talk with his fans, peeking over to your drawing a few times, but he couldn’t really see what you were doing. Your mind was totally focused on drawing, you haven’t done that in a while,but now that you are drawing again, you remembered how much you loved it and how stress relieving it was.

“I’m done!”,you shout out after a while, holding your paper up to Jeongin, so that he can finally see your drawing,while waiting for his reaction. His jaw dropped open as he looked at the drawing. “Omg look guys!”, he stated while taking the paper from your hands and showing it to the fans,”I didn’t know that you could draw that well!!”. His eyes lingered over the drawing, appreciating every single detail in your drawing,while you were blushing at the cute reaction of your boyfriend.

🖤masterlist

[here2bbtstrash]

GOD ivi i just have to say i've been like, staring in awe at this review and re-reading it over and over since you posted it, like i hope you understand reviews like this are something an author DREAMS of receiving 😭 so so thoughtful, so validating, SO encouraging, i just aaaaaaaaa i can never thank you enough for taking the time to put something like this together 🫠 i seriously CHERISH this, ugh, okay!

as soon as you left that comment for the first time i was like OH SHE GETS IT 🤭 but i was waiting patiently for you to get here hahaha - but now i can say! yes! you are so right! she hated the 2D "asshole genius producer" suga, but as soon as she started to realize there were layers and complications and.... just more to him, that hate could no longer hold water the way she was counting on it to 👀

"he'll probably get hurt really soon" - you were not lying lmfao 🤣

UGH YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON (i think, sorry if someone else did and i forgot lmao) TO CALL OUT BABY STAR CANDY GOING TO SIT BY HIMSELF AND hefiusgrdkdjg idk why that mental image in particular just crushed me 🥺 HE JUST WANTED A FRIEND TO SIT WITH...... JUSTICE FOR BABY GOTH....

and i love that you picked up on EVERY LITTLE CRUMB of jk starting to get suspicious (even in the last chapter!) - my boy's not a dummy, he was putting those pieces together!!

eeeeee the cheering on of them starting to get sweet with each other (or just show like, basic human kindness, lmfao) was absolutely me writing all these scenes. it IS so backwards but it's so funny how we can all collectively cheer when two people who've fucked each other's brains out, like, share a smile or get each other food LMFAO 🥴

i too am in love with this yoongi, and the real yoongi 😭

ugh them opening up to each other 🫠 and ahhhhh the compliment on my vulnerable conversation writing i am SOFT 🥺 thank u thank u, that means so much. i really love writing dialogue where characters share their thoughts and feelings and feel heard and understood. if this becomes a trope in my writing i will be glad for it!!!! 🫶

"I wonder if they'll get scared and revert back to the old ways." 👀 I'M NOT SAYING NOTHING..... LMAOOOO

and god it's so true, the vulnerability from that conversation absolutely bleeds into the sex and makes it WILDLY different from all the sex they've had up to this point..... and sdkjfdkfgj i love this sex scene thank you so much for being so nice about it eeeeep 🙈 i actually went back and took a look at it bc of your comments and i was like wow @ past me, you really popped off 😂

LOL YES yoongi trying to be a wingman and then.... well.... 💀

i appreciate that you see both sides of the baby star candy confrontation 🥺 it's true, reader is in a very vulnerable state and clearly, as we see when she leaves yoongi's apartment, feeling conflicted about a lot of things!!! so to have jk stick his nose in her business really set her off. definitely could've done better on the approach tho, but i'm glad that you get why she got so defensive

EEEEEP I'M SO EXCITED for you to keep going!!!! and the good news is, you still have chapter 9 🥰 before you get to chapter 10 😭 and maybe by the time you get to chapter 10, chapter 11 will be up, so you can trudge right on to the happy ending hahaha!!

thank you as always for reading and for your lovely reviews, i really REALLY love hearing your in-depth thoughts on this story bc i could (clearly) talk about it for one million years hfeuisrdgjkfg 💜💜💜

look down on me like that - 8 (explicit)

genre: slow burn enemies to lovers hatefucking coworkers au, smut (w some eventual angst that is no longer eventual 👀)

pairing: yoongi x reader

summary: your asshole coworker min yoongi has made it his personal mission to ruin your life.

word count: *deep breath in* 15.3k

contains: explicit sexual content and discussion of some dark themes .....yyyyyep 🤐 includes past-tense discussions of the d3ath of a parent (reader's) and su1c1dal ideation (yoongi's) so please tread carefully loves 💜 some references to alcohol per usual, and plenty of confusing feelings and piss-poor communication..... i'll leave the rest as a surprise 👀 but here are your smut-specific warnings: kissing (‼️), nipple play, clit stim, a single pussy slap lol, fingering, cunnilingus, squirting (🤭), unprotected sex and pulling out (💀), orgasm denial of sorts, but it's cool bc reader has multiple orgasms, ok byeeeee~

A/N: welp..... i'm off to enter witness protection in case you all decide you hate this chapter 💀 not really but heuhjkghkfjgdsf dear god am i nervous to post this lmfao. hope you're ready for some ~answers to questions~ and a whole lotta callbacks to earlier chapters idk why i shoved them all in ch8 specifically but here you go. the scene at yoongi's apartment was one of the very first things i dreamt up in regards to this story and it's nuts to me that we're all the way here now 💜 hope you're ready for a little more insight into these two! also baby goth fans don't come for me..... i promise we'll get a better resolution there..... reader and yoongi just have to survive LA first 😩

an eternal thank you to @haliiimede and @monimonimoon for being wonderful betas, and to @nabiolive for the dead parent sensitivity read lmfao I LOVE Y'ALL

read on AO3!

chapter seven | masterlist | chapter nine

~*~

In the morning, you wake up well before your alarm with an inexplicable uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. When it’s clear sleep is a lost cause, you decide to just get up, and you move through your routine slowly. Everything feels distant, not quite real, like it’s happening to someone else.

On the bus ride to the office, you let your eyes drop closed and try desperately not to replay the events of last night back. You should feel bad about the sex on the conference room table, and you do, a little. But your mind is stuck somewhere else.

Rain streaking down Yoongi’s windshield. The silence as he drove, disturbed only by the low rumble of his voice. The way he’d looked at you, and the heavy pause that hung in the air between you, for just a moment, until you’d fumbled open the door of his car and had practically ran back to the safety of your apartment. And his story— he’d told you something personal, with no malice or hidden agenda that you can manage to find, no matter how much you search for one. Something from when he was just a kid, growing up in Daegu.

You’re embarrassed to admit that it never even occurred to you that Min Yoongi might be a person with a past and a hometown and stories to tell. As long as you’ve known him, he’s always just felt like… a menace. A life-ruiner. An inescapable force.

The thoughts follow you as you step off the bus and make your way into the building and onto the elevator. You can’t figure it out. Yoongi could’ve easily left you to suffer in the rain, but instead he did something nice for you, without asking for anything in return. He’d related to you. He’d let you in, barely, but it’s something.

And you have no idea what to make of it.

Polite small talk with Jungkook as you unlock the front doors is a decent distraction, but you wonder if he can tell that you’re not all the way there today. You set your bag on your desk, then circle around to take a seat, only half-listening as he continues to talk.

“Did you stay late last night?”

You swear your heart stops beating. “What?”

He shrugs, like it’s an obvious question. “There’s the big overseas thing today. I’m sure you had a bunch of stuff to prep. Hopefully it wasn’t too late of a night?”

“No.” The word comes out harsher than you mean it to. You’re not quite sure why your body is suddenly doing emotional alchemy, taking your fear of being caught and somehow turning it into anger. “It wasn’t,” you say firmly.

Jungkook makes a face, like he knows he’s touched a nerve but can’t figure out why. “Okay. That’s good.”

You don’t respond— you just try to control your breathing, try to will your heart to quit racing as you start up your laptop and pretend to suddenly be engrossed in it.

“Well,” he tries again after a moment’s pause. “I guess I’ll see you at the presentation thing.”

“Okay,” you answer, your voice a little softer this time, but you’re still too scared to look away from your screen. When you do eventually work up the courage, he’s already gone.

Before you even have the chance to glance back down, like some universal joke at your expense, the front door of the office is pushed open, and Yoongi steps through. Annoyed as you are, you can only be grateful that his entrance didn’t overlap with Jungkook’s question. You probably would have died of embarrassment on the spot.

Yoongi’s usual dark sunglasses are nowhere to be found today, and he’s in nice clothes for the presentation, a button-down and dress pants, his hair styled. He does still have a death grip on a large iced coffee, but that’s to be expected, especially given the fact that he’s in a lot earlier than is typical for him.

It’s only when his eyes snap over to you for the briefest of seconds that you see the dark shadows sunken deep beneath them, weighing heavy on his face.

Yoongi’s gaze moves back to the hallway in front of him as quickly as it alighted on you. You open your mouth before you even understand why you’re doing it.

“Yoongi?”

He stops dead in his tracks and blinks at you a few times, clearly tired, clearly not expecting the interruption. “Yeah?”

“Did you sleep at all last night?”

His mouth pulls into a flat line as he shakes his head. “Nerves. It’s why I don’t do stuff like this. Unless forced.”

You nod, unsure of what to say— or why you even asked. “Oh. Well, uh. Good luck.”

Yoongi lifts his coffee in a parting gesture, then disappears toward his lab without another word.

You try to focus on your work, to shove the interaction to the back of your mind with everything else you’re avoiding, but the screen seems to blur in front of you, until you finally push back from your desk with an exasperated sigh. The emails can wait.

Maybe, you consider, it would be good to stretch your legs. You can head into the presentation room early to set up before everyone arrives, and make sure everything is working for the several hours of agenda lined up for the morning.

Setting your shoulders back, you grab your things and make your way down the hallway. The thought feels like a good idea until you push the door open and encounter a severe case of deja vu.

Yoongi glances up from his laptop at the front of the room, blearily rubbing at one eye with the heel of his hand. “Is it time already?”

You hover in the threshold, unsure. “Uh— I mean, not quite. I’m early. I can go, if you want.”

He shrugs, busying himself with something on his computer screen. “You’ll have to hear it anyway. Can I just run through it one more time?”

You take a few tentative steps forward, dropping your bag and laptop on the table, right where you sat to watch him the night before. The energy in the room feels entirely different now, and your stomach is twisted into knots that you can’t manage to breathe deep enough to untangle.

“Yeah, fine.” You pause, unable to help yourself. “Just… don’t expect the same treatment as last night.”

Yoongi huffs a dark laugh. “I wasn’t.”

Taking a seat at the table, you set about your admin duties and try to ignore the way Yoongi mumbles over his presentation as he taps through his slides at the front of the room. There’s only so much you can do without bothering him, and you fly through those tasks all-too quickly. You drag your bottom lip between your teeth as you glance back up at Yoongi, and then you inhale to steady yourself before you speak.

“Can you turn on the mic?”

His head snaps up, caught off guard. “Hmm?”

“I need to make sure the mic is working.” Yoongi’s gaze flits to the podium’s built in-microphone, then back to you as he presses the switch to turn it on. “Say something into it,” you instruct. “It doesn’t matter what.”

Yoongi’s eyes move back to the microphone, and it’s like you can see the delay in his brain from lack of sleep. You don’t know what you were expecting— maybe a half-assed ‘check, check’, at worst some sexual or smart-ass remark. Instead, he leans in far closer than is necessary, until his mouth is nearly touching the microphone as he whispers into it.

“Sugaaaaa.”

The live demo of the notorious producer tag that intros all of his tracks is so ridiculous, so unexpected, that you can’t help it. You burst out laughing, clapping a hand over your mouth a few seconds too late. “What the fuck was that?!” The question is only muffled slightly by your palm.

Yoongi’s head drops forward, his dark hair falling in his face, and you can see his shoulders shaking with laughter, too. “Sorry,” he manages with a gasp for breath, tilting back up to speak into the microphone, which you can now actually tell is working properly. “I’m so fucking tired, I think I’m going insane.”

You uncover your mouth as you shake your head in disbelief.

The sudden loud buzz of your phone against the conference room table makes you jump, and you quickly reach for it, for fear it might be an emergency text from your boss that needs immediate attention. Your eyes widen in surprise when you see it’s actually from Jungkook.

Presentation thing? Wanna sit together?

You read the words again and again, and a strange feeling rises up in your chest that you can’t quite name. As you stare down at your phone, you hear the distinct sound of Yoongi’s laptop shutting, and then his voice, no longer amplified by the microphone when he mutters to himself, “Fuck it. It’s as good as it’s gonna get.”

Feeling suddenly overwhelmed, you glance up at Yoongi again, then back down at the text. With a final hard swallow, you turn your phone on silent and flip it over on the table, leaving Jungkook’s question unanswered.

The time is close enough now that you get to your feet to prop open the presentation room door, and then your colleagues quickly start to file into the space, filling in the seats around the large U-shaped arrangement of tables. It’s everything you can do to keep your expression neutral as your brain unhelpfully reminds you that Yoongi fucked you on one of these tables last night.

You try to manage something close to a smile when your boss enters with the team from the American office in tow, and you proceed to exchange pleasantries with them and fake laugh at their jokes when he introduces you.

As you’re listening diplomatically to one of them drone on about the flight to Seoul, you spot Jungkook slip in the door out of the corner of your eye, and it takes extra effort to keep the smile plastered on your face. The seats on either side of yours have long since been taken, and you glance over to see his eyes sweep the room before he moves to take an open spot at the far end. 

You watch unabashedly now as he leans back in his chair, tilting to one side to pull his phone out of his pocket, and you can only pray he’s watching TikToks with the sound off rather than checking for a text that’s never coming.

When your manager repeats a question meant for you, your attention snaps back to the group. Sure your smile is nearly a grimace now, you apologize and blame the distraction on needing more coffee, which is enough to earn you a polite chuckle.

Eventually the room takes their seats as your manager moves to the front to start the presentation. You stay focused on copying down minutes as various speakers go through the company’s financials for the previous four quarters, the roadmap for the coming years, and a summary of top-level talent that the label has signed or directly worked with.

The discussion of talent leads smoothly into a quick review of achievements and nominations, and then Yoongi steps to the front of the room.

As he launches in, you can’t get over the stark difference between the Yoongi you’re used to and the one standing behind the podium in front of you. The man with the easy, confident, cocky demeanor is nowhere to be found, replaced with someone who barely looks up from his slides and speaks at a rushed pace, like he’s trying to get the words out as fast as possible. You bite down firmly on your bottom lip and try not to react at all.

He’s nearly halfway done now, and just as you’re thinking he might make it through the whole thing unscathed, Yoongi stumbles slightly over his words. It’s not a lot, a little slip-up that the rest of the room probably didn’t even notice, but you see a momentary flash of panic in his dark eyes. And then those eyes snap up to meet yours, and your stomach drops.

The memory of the two of you in this room, the thought of what you’d be doing to him if you were alone again, the way you could so easily make his voice shake and his knees threaten to buckle with just your mouth— it’s all too much.

You can’t help yourself as the smile you’ve been desperately trying to hide starts to spread across your face, equal parts supportive and indecent.

There’s a beat of silence, not long enough for anyone to think anything of it, and then Yoongi drops your gaze as quickly as he found it. He squints back down at his computer screen, and though he leans away from the microphone, you don’t miss the unmistakable sound of him clearing his throat.

“Excuse me,” he murmurs, and then he picks up where he left off, managing to get back on track without further issue.

You desperately try to ignore the warm flush of heat that creeps up your neck as Yoongi goes through the rest of his slides.

Time seems to speed by in a rush after his presentation, and you barely manage to keep up with the barrage of content. You’re more than grateful when your manager inevitably wraps up the session, reminding everyone to head to a nearby restaurant for a team lunch immediately following.

As the room begins to empty, you take your time finishing up the notes and firing them off to the broader audience. When you finally close your laptop and look up, you realize nearly everyone has left now, though as fate would have it, Yoongi has also lagged behind. He’s standing hunched over the conference room table as he types something into his own laptop.

You try not to overthink it as you hug your computer to your chest and take a few steps toward him. “Yoongi?”

He hums a response, and when he glances up at you, the bags under his eyes are just as prominent as before.

“Are you, uh— coming to lunch?”

He rolls his eyes, like the question is ridiculous. “I can’t. I’m drowning in shit I put off for the last two days.”

His words make you take a step back, and you immediately feel stupid for asking. Why do you even care what he does? “Right. Got it.”

You don’t wait around for him to say anything else, you just shove your laptop into your purse and pull the strap over your shoulder as you head for the exit.

Largely preoccupied with getting away from Yoongi, you don’t pay much attention to your surroundings as you slip out of the room, and you only get a few steps down the hall before a voice behind you nearly makes you jump out of your skin. “There you are.”

“Jesus!” you gasp, whipping around to find Jungkook leaning up against the glass wall of the conference room, his arms crossed over his chest. “You fucking scared me, Baby Goth.”

“Sorry.” He gives a shy smile, nose scrunching slightly like he’s embarrassed. “I wasn’t gonna let you ditch me again. Lunch?”

You do your best to match his smile. “Let’s go. I’m starving.” 

The two of you meet up with the rest of the team at a restaurant well out of your price range, and Jungkook babbles freely as he stuffs his face, seemingly unbothered by how little you have to say in return. The chatter of so many people at the long table is a white noise that you can’t focus on any part of, and Jungkook’s usual comforting presence feels overwhelming today, nearly stifling. You push food back and forth on your plate but barely eat, your stomach uneasy for reasons you don’t want to dwell on.

“Min Suga seemed like he didn’t even want to be up there.” The mention of Yoongi’s pseudonym is enough to snap you out of your haze.

“Huh?” You glance up at Jungkook, your eyes widening slightly, and you force yourself to eat another bite of pasta as he continues.

“I don’t know, he went through it so fast. Guess it makes sense. He hates anything that drags him out of his lab, right?”

You aimlessly twirl your fork against your plate, around and around. When you first started this job, you would have agreed with Jungkook without a second thought. Laughed about it, even. Now you’re not so sure. You don’t want to add to this growing sense of friction, the weird energy in the air, but the words come out anyway.

“He was nervous, Jungkook.”

When you meet his gaze again, Jungkook looks confused, and you instantly regret saying anything at all.

“What, did he tell you that?”

You nod as you take another bite of food to avoid having to explain yourself.

Jungkook’s eyes drift down to the table between you, distant, his brow furrowed like he’s suddenly doing some complex mental math. “When?”

“Last night,” you murmur through your mouthful. “We both worked late. I helped him practice a little.” The explanation was meant to make the situation sound less incriminating, but somehow you feel like it only makes it worse. You hope Jungkook can’t tell how warm your face is starting to get.

When he finally speaks, his voice is low, his gaze still not meeting yours. “I thought you said you didn’t stay late. When I asked you this morning.”

A rush of adrenaline hits your bloodstream so hard it makes you dizzy. “I—I didn’t. It wasn’t that late. Like an hour max. Didn’t seem worth mentioning.” You set your fork down, quickly hiding your hands in your lap so Jungkook can’t see the way they’ve started to tremble.

His only response is a slow nod, and then he goes quiet in a way that’s rare for him. It feels like an eternity of sitting and eating in silence before either of you says another word.

The conversation eventually picks back up again, and when it does, you try to tell yourself you’re just imagining that it’s slightly more stilted than before.

As you and Jungkook trail after the rest of your coworkers on the walk back to the office, you trade a few more polite questions about work-related projects, and then you fall quiet again, seemingly out of things to say. It’s a few stretches of city blocks, and then you see Jungkook’s head tip up, and he outright sniffs the air.

You can’t help but laugh a little, mostly because he looks like a dog, and then you smell it too. The unmistakable aroma coming from the street cart up ahead. You smile softly to yourself as you both slow to pass it, ogling rice cakes and fish cakes simmering in a pan of spicy sauce.

“God,” Jungkook groans appreciatively. “I would absolutely destroy some tteokbokki right now if I didn’t think I’d literally explode.”

“This is what happens when you help yourself to thirds every time you eat,” you chide him with a giggle, and the two of you nod to the vendor before you continue on toward the office. You only take a few more steps before you falter, and Jungkook turns back when he notices you’ve stopped.

“What’s up? Did you want to get some?”

You don’t know what makes you lie. “Uh, no. I, uh— I just realized, I think I left my scarf back at the restaurant. I’m gonna run back, but don’t worry about waiting for me. You’ve got work stuff.”

Jungkook shrugs, like it’s not a big deal. “It’s cool, I can go with you.”

“No, that’s okay,” you say, firmly enough to make it very obvious you don’t want company. Maybe a little too firm, because Jungkook blinks, like he’s taken aback. Your stomach twists with a feeling that you imagine must be similar to having just kicked a puppy.

“Oh. Alright, well. I’ll see you later, then.” He pauses for a moment, tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek, and then he turns on his heel and keeps walking in the direction of the office. You worry your bottom lip between your teeth as you watch Jungkook’s retreating form until he disappears down the city block.

You try not to overthink the interaction as you retrace your steps to the cart, then head back to the office with a takeout bag gripped in one hand. Thankfully you don’t have to fumble for another lie of an excuse, because you don’t run into Jungkook or anyone else in your straight shot from the entrance to the door of Yoongi’s lab. Quick as you can, you punch in the lock code, then push the handle down and slip inside.

It takes you a minute to process what you’re seeing as you shut the door behind you. Yoongi’s arms are folded on the desk in front of him, and he’s slumped forward, head buried in the crook of his elbow. For a brief moment your heart drops, and then you take a tentative step closer and realize there’s no shake or shudder to his shoulders, only the smooth rise and fall of deep, steady breathing.

He’s asleep.

You close the remaining distance until you can reach out and gently place a hand on his back. “Yoongi?”

He inhales sharply, and you quickly pull your hand away like you’ve just been burned. Tilting his head to one side, he cracks an eye open, mumbling something that sounds like a question but is otherwise fully incoherent.

“You fell asleep,” you say dumbly, and Yoongi slowly sits up with a grunt, his eyes squinting, clearly readjusting to the room around him. He leans back to stretch, and several places in his back and shoulders crack impressively loudly.

“Fuck,” he sighs, voice strained, one hand rubbing at the back of his neck. “Why are you in here?”

“I brought you lunch,” you murmur, lifting the takeout bag for him to witness. He frowns at it, then up at you, like he can’t quite figure out what’s happening.

“Thanks,” he eventually manages. “You can just leave it. I’m nowhere near done with all my—”

You cut him off before he can finish. “Go home, Yoongi.”

The look of slack-jawed confusion on his face is enough to nearly make you laugh. “What?”

“I said go home.”

His brow furrows. “You’re not my boss.”

“I’m not saying it as your boss,” you sigh. “But you need to eat, and sleep. This isn’t healthy.”

Yoongi huffs a little, exasperated. “That’s easy for you to say, but I have so much stupid admin stuff to get caught up on.” He gestures halfheartedly to a massive to-do list pulled up on his monitor, one he’s barely a quarter of the way through.

Suppressing the urge to roll your eyes, you hum, feigning thought. “If only you had someone who could help with that. Some kind of… Admin Bitch.”

The comment must catch him off-guard, because he outright laughs. “You know, I still haven’t changed your contact name.”

You quirk an eyebrow. “Then you should go before I question why I’m being nice to you. I’ll leave a note for tomorrow with anything I can’t figure out for myself. Assuming you trust my ability to do my job.” As if to indicate that you are no longer open to discussing the subject, you shove the takeout bag into Yoongi’s chest, and he wraps both arms around it, still looking entirely dazed.

But to your surprise, he doesn’t fight you, just slowly rolls his desk chair back and gets to his feet. You watch carefully as he shifts the bag of food to one arm, then grabs his work bag and slings it over his shoulder. “I, uh— thanks.”

You wave a hand as if to tell him not to mention it, and then you plop down into his chair and get to work, barely phased by the sound of the door clicking shut when he leaves.

~*~

As you settle in at your desk the next morning, it dawns on you how close the Grammys have started to loom, made abundantly clear by the overwhelming amount of prep you find yourself launched into. You don’t think you look up from your screen once, not even bothering to greet coworkers as they push through the doors, until the muted tap of something being placed on your desk startles you.

You see the cup of coffee first, and when you glance up expecting a pair of Baby Star Candy eyes, you instead find Yoongi hovering at the edge of your desk, like he’s not sure what he’s doing there. You make zero attempts to hide your total shock at whatever the fuck is going on in this moment.

He looks— good. Fresh-faced, like he managed to actually get some sleep, a little less gaunt. Even his expression seems weirdly pleasant, something you might mistake for happiness if you thought that he was capable of such an emotion.

There’s a crinkling sound, and when he gently sets a small wax paper pastry bag on your desk next to the coffee, you’re sure that you’ve overslept your alarm and are in the depths of a wild, ridiculous dream. It’s the only way any of this can be happening.

You blink up at him as you hesitantly reach for the bag, like you’re scared it might bite you.

“It’s maple,” he says as you slowly pick it up and investigate the contents. It’s still warm. “I asked for the most disgustingly sweet thing they had.”

Too overwhelmed, you set the pastry bag back down wordlessly. As you do, it’s only now that your eyes focus on the letters “AB” sketched in black marker on the side of the coffee cup, where a barista would typically write your name.

Yoongi’s eyes must be watching yours carefully, because he huffs a laugh as he sees realization dawn over your face. “Making them actually write Admin Bitch seemed a bit much.”

You can’t manage to find a laugh to match his, can only sit there, shell-shocked. When you look up again, he’s already walking backwards in the direction of his lab, but his eyes are still on you. “I’d tell you not to tell anyone, but I don’t think they’d believe you even if you did.”

And just like that, he’s gone again.

You remain unconvinced that both of his gifts aren’t secretly poisoned, but your desperate need for a fresh hit of caffeine overwhelms any other emotion. Carefully, you lift the cup to your lips and take a sip— it’s not scalding, but still perfectly hot, and your eyes widen as the flavor hits your tongue.

Two cream, three sugar. Exactly how you like it.

Before you’ve even had time to swallow, Jungkook is suddenly rounding the corner from the opposite direction, and you have to make a conscious effort not to choke.

He slows to a stop, and you watch him take in the coffee cup clutched between your hands like a lifeline. “Hey! You seriously snuck out for coffee without me?” His tone is mock-hurt, but you can’t help wondering whether it’s entirely put on.

Your gaze drops back down to the cup. “Sorry, JK. Someone else picked this up for me.”

Jungkook doesn’t pry into your vague statement, but a sinking feeling in your stomach tells you that maybe he doesn’t have to.

~*~

It’s Saturday night by the time your schedule aligns with Jimin’s for a night out, and given that it’s the last time you’ll see him before you leave for Los Angeles, you manage to guilt him into driving. The bar you choose is a shitty dive nowhere near your office, where you’re certain you won’t have to worry about any accidental encounters.

Or any encounters at all, as it turns out. The place is dead.

“I think we’re single-handedly keeping them open tonight,” Jimin murmurs with a grimace as you grab a pair of stools.

The bartender pours you each two shots and two beers, then returns to their side work at the far end of the bar in an apparent attempt to give the two of you some privacy.

It’s only once you’ve had your first shot and are halfway through the accompanying beer that you’re able to speak the words aloud: “I had sex in the office again.”

Jimin glances up at the ceiling, as if asking for strength, and you recount the full story mostly to the wood grain in front of you, unable to look your best friend in the face while you catch him up on everything.

When you fill in the final details, Jimin nearly spits his drink out. “Suga really hatefucked you on a conference table?! I need to go buy some lottery tickets.” He throws back his second shot, and there’s a smug smile on his face as he swallows it down. “God, I love being psychic.”

You shove an elbow into his ribs. “Listen. I don’t know what’s fucking happening anymore, Mochi. Sometimes he’s insufferable but now sometimes we apparently mildly tolerate and are even nice to each other. Like, coffee and a pastry nice.” You smack your hand on the bar for emphasis as you repeat the words. “Coffee. And. A. Pastry.”

“So,” Jimin clasps his hands together as he surveys you. There’s a look on his face like he’s clearly expecting you to draw some conclusion from all of this, but it seems to have entirely escaped you. “What have we learned?”

You drop your head down on the bar with a resounding thud. “We’ve learned that Min Yoongi is ruining my life.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Voice muffled slightly, you groan. “Don’t make me say it louder.”

“No, what did you just say?” You lift your head up to look at him, and his expression is deadly serious, his eyes sharp and focused. “Min Yoongi? I know Min Yoongi.”

You give him the same look right back. “You what?”

“We were trainees together. I— wait, Min Yoongi is Suga the producer? Really?!” He scrambles for his phone and you just sit there, dumbfounded.

“How are you only now telling me that you know him?”

Jimin glances up, incredulous. “Um, hi, because you literally never fucking told me Suga is Min Yoongi?”

You roll your eyes. “Please, surely I have said his name to you at least once.”

It’s Jimin’s turn to smack the bar, and he does so loudly. “Run those tapes back, ma’am! We have always called him Suga.”

“You’re telling me you’ve never even Googled him?!”

He makes a face like the mere suggestion is ridiculous. “I am an adult, with a job and a very needy boyfriend. Your chaos already monopolizes too much of my time.”

The search on his phone loads, and you watch Jimin tap and scroll slowly, mouth dropping open in disbelief. “Min Yoongi is Suga. Wow. I think I need a minute.”

Jimin’s earlier words finally catch up to you, and you finish the last of your first beer before you dare ask the question. “Yoongi was really a trainee?”

“He was,” Jimin confirms, gaze still locked on his phone. “Obviously he didn’t debut either. He left a few months before I did. I always wondered what happened to him.”

“What was he like?” Your voice comes out soft, a little unsure.

His eyes widen, staring off unfocused as he searches through his memory. “I mean, we weren’t super close, he’s a few years older than me. But it doesn’t sound like that much has changed if I think about what you’ve told me. He was quiet, not too personable. Worked hard. Didn’t really seem that close to anybody. I think maybe he had a difficult home life?”

Your stomach drops a little as Jimin pauses, choosing his words. “Like I guess his parents weren’t very supportive. So I think he felt like he had a lot to prove, and had really high standards for himself. But he obviously loved music. Makes sense that he ended up a producer. It’s like me and dance, right?” He picks up his beer with a shrug, staring thoughtfully down at the amber liquid. “Man. Those years were tough.”

As Jimin takes a sip of his drink and then continues on about his trainee days, your head starts to spin. You throw back your second shot in hopes that it might help.

You wish you could go back and unlearn this information, unsay the name Min Yoongi. Because you don’t want to think about him. You don’t want to know that Min Yoongi gets nervous about public speaking, that he likes his coffee iced, that he can’t say no to street cart tteokbokki, that he used to be a trainee, that he worked an unpaid job in Daegu, that he had a disapproving family and never felt good enough and maybe still doesn’t.

Min Yoongi was so simple when you first met him, back when he was a two-dimensional character, the antagonist of your TV show life, your enemy. But now he’s none of those things. He’s a real, flawed, complicated person, and your feelings for him are confusing and overwhelming. And you deeply do not want to think about your feelings. You don’t want to examine them, don’t want to hold them up to the light for fear of what you might find. It occurs to you in this moment that you don’t want to think about anything at all.

With a sigh, you scoot your chair back from the bar, then get to your feet.

“What are you doing?” Jimin interrupts himself to ask as you dig your phone out of your purse.

You’re doing the only thing that makes sense. “I’m gonna go fuck him,” you say, resigned, and then you make your way out the front door of the bar as you pull up Yoongi’s contact in your phone.

It’s only as the line starts to ring that you realize you don’t exactly have a location in mind. Sex in a bar bathroom is an experience you have no desire to repeat, and the thought of Yoongi seeing your shithole apartment makes your drinks threaten a return appearance.

You’re starting to consider that maybe you should just hang up and forget the idea entirely when Yoongi’s voice startles you.

“Uh, hi?”

“Hi.”

There’s a pause as you realize you didn’t actually plan how to have this conversation, and then you and Yoongi speak in tandem.

“I was just wondering—”

“Is there a reason you—”

“Shut up,” you snap, agitated by your own awkwardness. “What are you doing right now?”

Yoongi laughs darkly into the phone. “I’m sorry, is this a booty call?”

“Answer the question, asshole.”

There’s a slight shifting sound, like he’s making himself comfortable. “Nothing. Drinking.”

“Great, same here.”

Another pause, and you swear you can hear Yoongi slow blinking, can see the stupid smirk on his face when you close your eyes. “Would you like to come over, then?”

“Yes,” you answer, trying to sound more confident than you feel, and then you falter slightly. You’re not about to ask Jimin to drive you— you don’t trust him enough to stay in the car and behave, not when he’s been drinking. “Uh, are you by any chance near a bus stop?”

Yoongi doesn’t even try to suppress his snort of laughter. “I’m not. But I can send a car.”

“You don’t have to do that,” you say quickly, trying to think. “I can figure something—”

“Please,” Yoongi cuts you off. “If you’re really calling me begging to get fucked, the least I can do is provide the transportation. Just send me your location.”

“Fine,” you concede, and your voice comes out harsh. “But to be clear, I am not begging.”

He hums a low note, like he’s thinking it over. “Not yet,” he ultimately responds. “See you soon.”

You swallow hard as the call disconnects.

The time it takes for the car to arrive is just enough for you to slip back inside and finish your beer, and Jimin’s eyes narrow with frustration when you’re unable to explain yourself.

“Didn’t you just complain that this man was ruining your life?”

“Yes,” you retort. “And then I thought it over, and I decided that’s my job.” Your phone buzzes with the notification that the car is outside, and you quickly swig the last of your drink. “Bye.”

Jimin’s face twists like he’s holding further commentary back, which you didn’t think he was capable of doing without combusting. “Alright, babygirl,” he finally sighs, defeated. “Call me if you need saving.”

“I always do,” you deadpan as you lean in to press a kiss to his cheek.

~*~

Yoongi doesn’t say anything when he opens the door for you, just nods his head to the interior of his apartment to gesture you inside, letting the door swing wider so you can step past him. He shuts it again as you slip your heels off, and it takes you a second to adjust to your true height difference, the fact that you have to look a little further up to meet his gaze now.

“Want a drink?” is his delayed greeting, and you shrug.

“Yeah, okay. Just whatever you’re having.”

Without another word, he turns and heads down the hallway, and you follow after him, taking in your surroundings as you move further inside. It’s only now that it occurs to you how rich he must be. His place is identical to any one of the swanky, million-dollar Hannam apartments of which you’ve spent thousands of hours watching YouTube tours. You try to keep your expression neutral as you follow him into the living room, but it’s hard not to be impressed.

Yoongi crosses the room to a mini-bar, built into the far wall and softly backlit with inset LEDs. You pull your bottom lip into your mouth as you hover nervously for a second, then finally choose to drop down onto the large, L-shaped couch, setting your purse on the floor next to you.

“Thoughts—” When Yoongi’s voice breaks the silence, you start a little, not expecting it. “—on single malt whiskey?” He turns over his shoulder, and you shrug back at him.

“Never met one I didn’t like.”

The corner of his mouth pulls up, just barely. “Alright.” You watch as he grabs a dark green bottle off the shelf, coating the bottom of a glass with the amber liquid inside, then just barely topping up what must be his own drink. He crosses back to the couch, hands you yours, then drops down a respectable distance away from you with a sigh of effort.

The atmosphere is certainly different from what you’d expected, and Yoongi must be able to tell you’re a little on edge, not sure what to do or why you thought coming here was a good idea.

He glances over at you as he swirls the contents of his glass. “Not feeling up for much small talk tonight. Sorry.”

“That’s fine,” you say quickly. “We don’t have to talk.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you grit your teeth in anticipation of the smug smile, the cocky smirk at your unintended double meaning, but it never comes. Yoongi stays just as he is, slouched forward, his eyes unfocused, like he’s got a thousand thoughts running through his mind at once.

You turn sideways on the couch so you can look over the back of it and out of the large picture window behind you, where the city is alive in a blur of light and color, bracketed by the dark swath of the Han River.

Yoongi’s whiskey is strong but smooth, tastes like the bottle probably cost more than the entire bar-tab you and Jimin rang up tonight, and you sip it slowly. The thought of your best friend sparks something in your mind— you find yourself speaking again in spite of your previous statement.

“I just found out that you know my best friend. Park Jimin.”

At this, Yoongi looks up, clearly stunned. “No shit?” You nod, taking another pull from your drink, and he shakes his head. “I haven’t heard that name in years. How is he?”

“He’s good,” you murmur, the sharp taste of alcohol lingering on the back of your tongue. “He’s really good. He actually just performed in the concert I took Jungkook to.”

Yoongi pauses, glass halfway to his lips. “What group is he in? For someone in the industry I am atrocious at keeping up with this shit.”

“Oh, he’s not, he’s just a back-up dancer now. He never debuted.” 

Yoongi nods slowly. “Well. Makes two of us.”

Your chest starts to tighten a little— you’re weirdly nervous to talk to him about this. It feels like uncharted territory. “I can’t believe you were a trainee.”

He leans back, resting his free arm over the back of the couch, fingers tapping idly. “I can’t either, most days. It was a long time ago. Feels like it happened to somebody else.”

Torn between deep curiosity and not wanting to pry, you stare down at the liquid swirling in your glass and leave it up to Yoongi. To your surprise, he keeps talking.

“So what did Jimin tell you about me?”

The unexpected question makes you laugh a little. “Uh… I don’t know. Said you sound like you’re still the same as you were back then. Keeping to yourself and working a lot.”

You don’t know if you should repeat everything, but the liquor loosens your tongue. “He said your parents weren’t very supportive.”

You glance up to see Yoongi shake his head, matter-of-fact. “They were not. So you can imagine how well they took it when I quit.” Your heart sinks at the thought. “Probably put a chip on my shoulder, if I want to be introspective about it. Explains the workaholic tendencies, maybe.”

He takes a longer sip of his drink this time, chasing his swallow with a grimace as he stares at the floor. “It’s funny. I always feel like I have to do better, even now. I get obsessed with work because it’s better than being depressed. And most of the time it feels like there’s nothing else to do anyway. I just work myself to death because it’s my only reason to stay alive.”

Your stomach drops sharply, and you can’t help but look over at him as he continues, feeling thoroughly unprepared for this sudden insight into the inner workings of Min Yoongi.

“It doesn’t even matter what milestones I hit, the fame, the fortune, whatever. I’m going to the fucking Grammys next week and it still doesn’t feel good enough.” His eyes flicker up to find yours, and his voice is quieter now. “Even if I win, I know it won’t. How sad is that?”

“You sound like my dad,” you mutter into your glass, and then your gaze snaps back to Yoongi as you realize what you’ve just said.

He looks as surprised as you feel, and you steady yourself as you take a swig of your drink and swallow it down. Fuck it. If he can overshare, so can you. “Work always came first, before family, before everything. And you know what happened? He dropped dead in his office before he even turned fifty. They said it was probably stress.”

There’s a flash of something in Yoongi’s eyes, but he doesn’t try to interrupt you.

“It makes me so mad,” you say, and you will yourself not to get emotional, your grip on your drink tightening slightly. “Because he worked so fucking hard thinking that once he got to a certain place, he’d be happy. Just a little more, then he could relax. But he never got there. He worked non-stop his whole life and then he fucking died. That’s it.

“And you know what’s really fucked up?” You don’t wait for Yoongi to respond— you can’t stop it all from coming out now, like a tap turned on high.

“People say grief makes you resilient, that it makes you stronger, or kinder, that we go through these things and they’re hard but you learn from them and grow or whatever the fuck. And I don’t feel like any of that shit is true for me. My dad died, and I just got worse.” A self-deprecating laugh flutters out around your words. “I’m selfish. I’m lazy. I make terrible choices. I deeply cannot fucking stand myself, if I’m honest with you. Jimin is like the one friend I still keep in touch with who knew me when my dad was alive, because everyone else just… didn’t know what to do with me. And I don’t blame them.

“And it makes me feel like such a fucking asshole, because he died, and I’m sitting here complaining about me. It’s like I don’t even miss him as much as I just miss… the way things used to be. The person I used to be.” You let yourself take a breath, but the final thought, the part you don’t usually say out loud, slips out with it. “It’s like she died, too.”

There’s a long pause that feels like an eternity, and you realize your heart is racing in your chest. You lean back against the couch with a sigh of frustration, too embarrassed at your own word vomit to do anything but stare at the stupidly high ceiling. You’re so wrapped up in the rush of saying it all— it’s been a while since you’ve gone this deep with anyone— that it takes you a second to notice that Yoongi is laughing softly.

“Wow. And here I thought you were just a slacker.”

The words make you glance over at him. You haven’t divulged these feelings to many people, but nearly everyone you’ve told has responded the same: awkward apologies, shitty words of affirmation you didn’t ask for, waxing poetic bullshit lies about how you’re not a bad person. A road paved with good intentions, things meant to console you that only make you want to scream. 

But Yoongi gives you none of that. He just nods, like he understands.

“Well,” you counter, trying not to let the shock read on your face. “I thought you were just an asshole.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. I am an asshole. I’ll own that.” He smirks into his glass as he takes another sip of his drink. “Do you want to know something?”

“What?”

He suddenly pauses, like he’s not sure how to word it, like he maybe regrets asking the question at all. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so hesitant before. “You have to not make a big deal about it.”

“Okay,” you say simply. You’re willing to return the favor.

“The night I left the studio door unlocked, and there was the break-in,” Yoongi starts, his thumb fiddling with the ring on his index finger. Something twists in your stomach, an intuition you can’t explain that makes it immediately clear to you what he’s about to say. “I wasn’t thinking about locking up that night because I... was planning to kill myself.”

It’s like all the air is sucked out of the room, and you will yourself not to react, gripping your glass until your knuckles blanch. Your eyes drop to the floor as you try to process the weight of his words.

“But you didn’t,” you reply dumbly.

“No, I didn’t. I walked up and down the bridge over the river for a long time. Probably an hour, maybe more, I don’t know.” You look up to the window again, tracing the inkblot snake of the river in the distance.

“I thought about it, and then I decided to go home. I thought that maybe I could give it just one more day and see what happened. And then when I got to work the next day, I was in such deep shit about the break-in, I felt like everyone would blame themselves if I did it after that. Like they’d think they were too hard on me.” He laughs bitterly to himself. “Like I’m not always the one who is hardest on myself.”

“Yoongi,” you breathe. “I don’t know what to say.”

He shrugs. “You don’t have to say anything. It just feels nice to tell someone.”

There’s a heavy silence between you, and heat rushes to your face as the words leave your mouth before you can stop them. “I’m glad you didn’t do it.”

He glances over at you, brows pinched together like he doesn’t believe you. “You hate me.”

“I do not!” The insistence in your voice surprises even you. In an attempt to ground yourself, you press your palm to the side of your drink and try to focus on the feeling, the cool surface against your flushed skin. “I mean, I definitely did. But now, I don’t know. Would I really be wasting my Saturday night here if I hated you?”

Yoongi pauses with his glass halfway to his mouth, and you can see him fighting to keep a smile off his face. “Look at me, you came over here to fuck and I turned it into a therapy session. Christ.”

With a final shake of his head, he downs the last of his drink in one swallow. “You want a tour?”

You follow Yoongi as he takes a winding path through the various rooms of his apartment, and you continue to sip at your drink, barely processing any of what he shows you. Your mind is still spinning from the conversation, and that paired with the cotton fuzz of strong liquor makes everything feel muted and far away.

As anticipated, the tour ends in his bedroom, which matches the rest of the place: sleek, minimally decorated, and bathed in the soft glow of inset strip lighting that runs the length of the ceiling.

When Yoongi sets his empty glass down on the dresser, you mirror him, then watch as he steps in to close the distance between you. As your eyes search his, you realize you’re once again caught between conflicting versions of Min Yoongi, still trying to reconcile the one you thought you knew with the person who just spilled his guts all over the living room floor. It feels impossible to hold the two of them together in your mind.

Up close, his smirk seems to soften. “You’re a lot shorter without those heels.”

Before you even understand what you’re doing, or why, you take his face in your hands and kiss him. It’s only a split second, your lips barely brushing over his, and then you quickly pull away, struck by the reality of what you’ve just done.

“Shit,” you breathe, dropping your hands and taking a step back. You stumble slightly as a hot wave of shame rushes up in your chest. “Sorry, I just—”

You don’t get to finish the thought, because Yoongi’s touch is sliding over the curve of your waist, and then he’s dragging you back toward him until his mouth finds yours again. The taste of whiskey lingers on his soft lips as they move against yours— you can’t help but whimper a little at how hungrily he kisses you. Like he’s wanted to do it for a long time.

The idea overwhelms you, and you pull away from him again, your lips still ghosting over his. “Yoongi.” You try your best to sound firm when you say his name, pressing one hand against his chest as you look up at him. “This… can’t mean anything.”

You can feel the heat of his breath when he laughs softly. “It doesn’t have to. I’ve been trying to tell you that.”

Too desperate for his mouth to want to argue, you decide to let him win. “Okay,” you sigh. Your hand is already tangled in his long, dark hair by the time his lips meet yours again.

“Get on the bed,” Yoongi murmurs between kisses, and you do as he says.

Moving backwards, you crawl up toward the pillows while Yoongi crosses the room to hit a panel on the wall, dimming the soft lights overhead until they’re barely there. He comes back to join you, strong hands wordlessly guiding you to lay down beneath him.

It’s weird to not be rushing through this: to feel like you can take your time as he kisses you again, as you lick into his mouth to roll your tongue over his, as one of his hands starts to creep under your skirt to gently rub up and down the length of your thigh.

The motions of his hand push the fabric higher and higher, until it’s as far up as it can go, and he leans back, clearly not satisfied.

“Can I take this off?” he asks, and you nod, sitting up to help as he pulls your dress up over your head.

It occurs to you a beat too late that you’ve never been this naked in front of him before, and your heartbeat flutters. “You too,” you murmur, pinching gently at the hem of Yoongi’s t-shirt, and he smirks as he reaches one hand between his shoulder blades to tug it off entirely.

You take him in as he drops the shirt to his bedroom floor: he’s broad-shouldered in a way you’ve never noticed under all his baggy clothes, with firm definition in the muscles of his chest and arms, and there’s a flush of warm glow to his pale skin.

As you blink up at Yoongi, more than dazed, you realize his eyes are roaming over your body, too. “Fuck,” he swears under his breath, and you resist the sudden urge to hide from his surveying gaze. “You have great tits.”

You’re not sure what you were expecting, but it wasn’t that, and the surprise of it makes you laugh.

“Just for that, I’ll let you see them,” you say, unable to keep the teasing edge out of your voice as you lean forward to reach behind your back. Your hands shake a little more than you’d like as you fumble to undo your bra and toss it off the side of the bed to join everything else.

Your nipples stiffen quickly in the cool air of his room, and when you lay back again, Yoongi covers your body with his, the movement paired with a groan that’s nearly a growl. You can’t hold back your own soft sounds as his lips and tongue move down your neck, and it occurs to you now that there’s so much that the two of you have never done before. So many steps you skipped.

Like the way Yoongi cups one of your breasts in his hand, rolling his thumb over your nipple to earn a louder whine from you. “Shit,” you gasp as he does it again, his mouth still trailing kisses between the valley of your breasts.

“God,” Yoongi hisses against your skin. “You drive me fuckin’ crazy.”

With his thumb continuing to work at one nipple, he takes the other into his mouth, and you can feel the way your arousal is starting to soak through your panties as he sucks firmly at the stiff peak. You arch up into him, and then he’s shifting to roll your nipple between his teeth and tug, and you can’t help it— you flinch and yelp beneath him, overwhelmed.

He quickly pulls his mouth off of you, eyes flashing up to find yours. “Sensitive?”

You nod, face flushing, embarrassed. “A little bit of teeth is okay. Too much hurts.”

“Okay,” Yoongi answers softly. He licks up the underside of your breast to pull the bud of it back into his mouth, and the swirl of his tongue there soothes like an apology. When he just barely grazes his teeth across the sensitive peak, it’s enough to make you keen, your eyes rolling back as they flutter closed.

“Oh, fuck, just like that.”

With a wet noise, he pulls off to switch sides, repeating the firm suction, the drag of his tongue, the slightest brush of teeth. His fingers pinch gently at your other nipple, made slick with his spit, and he keeps working you lazily, unhurried, until your body writhes underneath his.

“Yoongi—” You try to catch your breath, and you run a hand through his hair to pull his mouth off of you. His jaw is still dropped open slightly when he meets your gaze. “Touch me.”

His lips pull into a smug smile. “Told you you’d beg.”

Your grip on his hair tightens in response. “Not begging. Ordering.”

Yoongi tuts gently, like he’s disappointed. “I don’t follow orders, sweetheart.”

As much as his teasing irritates you, a twin smile to his spreads across your face. “I’ll kill you,” you murmur, releasing your grip as he shifts back onto his knees.

It gets harder to focus on your bloodlust when his palms run over the curve of your hips, then press between your legs to part your thighs. “Don’t threaten me with a good time,” he deadpans as his fingers slip under the waistband of your panties and he starts to drag the lace down your legs.

“That’s fucking dark,” you can’t help but laugh as you kick your underwear the rest of the way off.

Yoongi licks his lips, clearly distracted, and you spread yourself wider for him. “This pussy,” he grunts hoarsely, like he’s talking to himself more than you. “Gets so puffy when you want it. All tight inside, too.” He unexpectedly slaps the whole of his hand over your center, and you gasp, your hips jolting up.

You don’t even have time to respond before he’s pressing a finger into you, your cunt squeezing tight enough to reward him with an audible noise as he fucks it in and out. “Fuck,” you groan.

“You get this wet just from having your tits played with, huh?”

The thorough analysis makes you huff a laugh, because he’s not wrong, and it stutters into a moan when his thumb gently starts to circle your clit.

“God,” you manage to choke out, “you’re fucking chatty tonight.”

Yoongi smirks, and you’re not sure why until he speaks again, his voice now pinched in a clear imitation as he withdraws his hand. “I’m sorry, is there somewhere you’d rather I put my mouth?”

Your jaw drops in disbelief as he repeats your own stupid tease from weeks ago back to you. “I’ve changed my mind,” you snap, sitting up a little, and Yoongi glances at you, already in the midst of settling between your spread thighs. “I do still hate you.”

“That’s fine,” he says with a shrug, and then he leans in to lick a thick, wet stripe up your slit. His mouth is immediately dizzying, and you drop your head back against the pillow, overwhelmed.

It’s another thing you’ve never done before, at least not with Min Yoongi. As he repeats the motion over and over, lazy long strokes where he drags his tongue from your entrance all the way up to circle your clit, you mentally kick yourself for every missed chance, every opportunity to have his mouth that you didn’t take.

“What the fuck,” you breathe.

Yoongi just barely pulls off of you, close enough that a string of your arousal is still joined to his lower lip when he speaks. “You’re not the only one with good head game here.”

He dives in again like he’s determined to immediately prove his point, and you shove your legs open wider as he sucks your clit into his mouth.

As much as you’d like to bruise his ego, it’s impossible to keep yourself from moaning when he pairs the firm suction with the press of his index finger back into your tight heat. As wet as he’s made you, he’s easily able to slide a second in beside it now, and your nails scratch helplessly over the sheets beneath you.

“Yoongi,” you gasp as he curls his digits to beckon inside you, stroking over your front wall and easily finding the spot that makes you gush. He does it again and again, like a button press, working up more and more arousal until you’re dripping down his wrist.

Even the way he hums against your pussy sounds like a smirk, but you’re too far gone to care. Yoongi starts to flick his tongue steadily over your clit, matching the rhythm of his fingers pumping into your g-spot, and you can feel the pressure in your core building, a band pulled tight enough to snap.

Your hips buck up toward his mouth in an overwhelmed reflex, and Yoongi’s free hand is immediately there like he was expecting it. His palm presses firmly to your lower abdomen to hold you down and keep you there, and even that feels good too, renders you entirely helpless to his mouth and his hands as he takes you apart.

“Fuck,” you moan, loud and unabashed now. “Fuck, yes, I’m—”

The feeling overtakes you before you can get another word out, and you nearly sob as your orgasm rips through you, your whole body straining hard against Yoongi’s strong hand as he pins you to the bed. The extra pressure on your core pushes a rush of fluid out of your cunt, enough to soak the sheets beneath you as your muscles contract around Yoongi’s fingers.

“Oh my god,” he doesn’t even pull away to groan, and the low vibration of the words against your throbbing clit makes your thighs tremble.

There’s a wet smack of his lips and tongue as he finally relents, the pace of his fingers slowing as he continues to work you through the aftershocks. You desperately try to remember how to breathe as you start to come down.

Yoongi is a fucking sight when he leans back to look up at you: long hair falling in his face, eyes dark with lust, lips and chin slick with your arousal. “Did you seriously just squirt?”

It’s been a long time since anyone has managed to make it happen, and you suddenly feel overwhelmed in a different way. Still recovering, you can barely get the words out. “Shut up.”

“What the fuck do you mean, ‘shut up’? It was hot,” Yoongi grunts, and you’re at least grateful that you don’t have to have the ‘it’s not pee’ conversation right now. He ducks his head down again as he withdraws his fingers, and his tongue drags up the crux of your thighs to chase a few stray droplets. You squirm, oversensitive, your legs nearly snapping shut around his neck, and he takes the cue to back off with a soft laugh.

You’re too spent to fight it when he starts to manhandle you a little, palms slipping under your ass to drag you further down the bed until your hips are flush with his, then encouraging your knees to pull up toward your chest. “Think you can do that on my cock?”

The question sparks something in your core, the first lick of a freshly lit flame, and you prop yourself up on your forearms to better meet his gaze. “Make me.”

Yoongi’s appreciative smile is nearly a snarl, and he shifts lower on the bed to quickly strip out of his pants and boxers. You watch as he starts to crawl back up your body, anticipation tightening in your core, and then a flash of realization crosses his face and he freezes.

“Fuck,” he swears, and your stomach drops.

“What’s wrong?”

“I forgot I’m out of condoms.” Your eyes widen as his gaze meets yours. “Do you have any?”

You shake your head. “Not with me.”

A muscle in his jaw works as he exhales a resigned sigh, and you reach out, one hand finding his bicep to stop him before he leaves. You want it too much, bad idea or not. “Just… fuck me anyway.”

His expression goes deadly serious, and there’s a long moment before he responds. “You’re sure?”

You swallow hard as you nod, your eyes searching his. “Just pull out, okay?” You hate yourself for saying the final word before it even leaves your lips. “Please.”

“Okay,” Yoongi repeats back to you, and his hands press to your thighs again to encourage your knees up as he positions himself between your legs. There’s a feeling humming in the space between your bodies, like the reality of the situation has settled over the both of you. The reckless abandon of the previous moment is gone, replaced with something slower, more hesitant. Heavier.

With your eyes fixed on his face, you feel it first: the weight and warmth of his cock grinding over your slit, sliding easily with how soaked you are. You look down to see it for yourself, flushed dark and hard enough to leak precum, trailing a glossy sheen over your folds as Yoongi guides it against you, one hand gripped firmly to the base. He teases the head of his dick over your clit and keeps it there, and you’re still sensitive enough to whimper at the feeling.

“Please,” you repeat, and he’s too focused to be smug about it. He just nods as he drags his cock back down to your entrance, then braces one hand against your thigh and starts to push in.

You exhale softly at the welcome stretch, familiar made new at the lack of anything between you. You can feel it all: the thick swell of the head of his cock as he eases you open, how he throbs gently as your walls squeeze around him, so tight that you can even feel the prominent veins that trace down his shaft.

You’re still wet and getting wetter from the way he fills you up entirely, your arousal drenching the length of him when he bottoms out with an audible slick sound. His cock twitches, buried to the hilt, and even that barely-there motion is enough to coax a breathy moan from you.

“Shit,” Yoongi laughs softly, and the tinge of humility to his voice makes you glance up at him again. “Not gonna be able to go that fast. Feels too good.”

“It’s okay,” you murmur. “Just…”

The words won’t come. It would mean too much to say what you want, and this isn’t supposed to mean anything at all.

So you don’t say them: you just hook your arms over his shoulders and pull his mouth down to yours. “Just fuck me,” you murmur against his lips. He grunts a low note of appreciation as he kisses you, as he starts to drag his cock out of you just to fuck it back in again.

It’s shallow, it’s slow, it’s nothing like what you’re used to with Yoongi, but it’s good. Good enough to make your kisses sloppy when you trade open-mouthed breaths, good enough to make you tilt your head and slide the flat of your tongue over Yoongi’s unabashedly, like an earned reward.

He pushes your knees up a little more, thrusting deeper this time, and the new angle drags the head of his cock right over your g-spot. You whine at the heavy weight of him, the shudder that ripples through you in response, and he stays there, stroking steadily to rub that spot again and again until your eyes roll back in your head.

“Oh my god, Yoongi,” you gasp into his mouth.

“Shit,” he groans shakily, reaching one hand up to brush his hair out of his eyes. A few dark strands stick to the sheen of sweat on his forehead. “Squeezing me so fucking tight.”

Your arousal coils hot and fast inside of you as he keeps thrusting, and you have to break away from kissing him to tip your head back on the pillow and moan. “Fuck, please don’t stop, I’m—”

It feels like the final second before your climax when Yoongi pulls out, sitting back on his knees between your spread legs with a low groan. The sudden loss of his cock makes your walls clench at nothing, and you whine, petulant. “Yoongi!”

“Sorry,” he mutters, breathless. “Almost came.” You glance up to see him squeezing at the base of his cock with one hand, his chest heaving with effort. Your hips tilt up toward him, jealous.

“I miss your cock,” you whine, fucked close enough to be shameless.

“You’ll get it,” he retorts, and then you feel three of his fingers press in to fill the space he left behind inside of you. “Want to make you come again first.”

You keen as he starts to pump them, wrist angled just right to meet your g-spot each time. “Oh fuck, Yoongi.” The arousal in your core aches as he fucks you open on his fingers, and you can hear how wet you are in the soaked squelch of your needy pussy, can feel it leaking down your thighs.

His thumb brushes over your clit with every upstroke of his hand, and it makes you gasp, your moans starting to pitch higher. “Harder, baby, please, I’m so close.”

Too lost in the feeling, you barely notice when Yoongi laughs a little, but he does as you ask, and the way he pounds into you is just enough to work you over the edge. Waves of pleasure rip through your body as you come for a second time, squirting a little on his sheets again, your thighs shaking violently.

“That’s it, there you go, fuck,” Yoongi groans appreciatively at the sight.

You’ve just barely made it past your peak, still shuddering all over, when Yoongi withdraws his fingers to shove his cock back in again, and you keen.

He thrusts like a man close to his own end, fast and hard, his breath coming in ragged pants of effort and pleasure. Your pussy pulses around him, squeezing like a vice, so swollen with sensitivity that it really does feel like he’s splitting you open every time he fucks into you.

You moan unabashedly now and cling to him all over, legs bracketing his snapping hips, nails of one hand digging into his shoulder, the other hand tangled in his hair. Your cunt throbs and gushes around him as he strokes, and it still feels like you’re coming: you can’t tell if it’s an intensely drawn-out second orgasm or if the hot stretch of his cock worked you seamlessly into a third.

When he finally pulls out, you drop back against the bed with an exhausted groan, every inch of you fucked into oblivion. You can barely focus your eyes to watch as Yoongi shoves his hips up to straddle yours, one hand working his cock until his release overtakes him.

He flattens both palms to the mattress as he starts to come, groaning softly and rocking his hips so that his cock grinds against your stomach. The head of his dick twitches visibly, leaking pulse after pulse of sticky gloss over your skin, and he smears his cock through it as he ruts against you. He keeps going, rolling his hips and rubbing the mess across your stomach until he’s thoroughly spent, until you’re both flushed and sticky all over.

“Holy fucking shit,” is all he can manage when he finally collapses down on the bed next to you.

You glance over at him and nod, trying to imply without speaking that the feeling is mutual. He meets your gaze, and you lay like that for several long minutes of silence as your breathing slows, eyes fixed on each other as your heartbeats race through the comedown.

It’s hard to believe that any part of tonight has been real, and you can’t help but wonder if he’s thinking the same thing.

As the post-orgasm glow starts to settle, exhaustion hits you like a train. You groan, breaking the prolonged eye contact to throw an arm over your face, blocking out Yoongi’s bedroom with the crook of your elbow.

You’re not expecting it when he softly says your name, and something in your gut tells you that whatever’s coming isn’t good. You will yourself not to look back again, to stay as still as a statue when you answer him. “Hmm?”

“You know Jungkook is in love with you, right?”

The plan to not move goes out the window at his words. Your pulse spikes, and you drop your arm to look at him, your face twisted in confusion. “What?!”

Yoongi studies your expression for a second, then makes a small hum of surprise. “Interesting. I figured you were just trying to let him down easy.”

“I— what?”

“You really didn’t know?” He scoffs, and his tone is enough to instantly make you set your jaw. “It’s pretty obvious. It’s funny, I guess he’s sort of inadvertently responsible for all of this.”

That takes a second to sink in, and you blink. “How?”

Yoongi stares up at the ceiling, seemingly nonplussed. “Well, when he asked me for the code to my office, I figured he wanted to take you in there and fuck you.”

Hot blood rushes to your chest, and you sit up a little. “You talked to Jungkook about fucking me?”

“No.” Yoongi blinks. “This was before anything happened. I haven’t told him anything. It was just clear he liked you, even back then, because I have eyes. So I was trying to do him a favor. He’s a good kid.”

You squint, still trying to catch up. “Why would Jungkook fuck me in your office?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know, it’s the only door that locks. Sometimes you get desperate.” You swallow the immediate urge to argue when your brain unhelpfully reminds you that you have in fact fucked Yoongi at the office. Twice.

“But you know, I figured he’d wine you, dine you, all that romantic crap first. I’m sure he’s a very respectable sex on the third date kind of guy.” That all-too-familiar smirk is back when he glances over at you again. “I guess neither of us realized who we were dealing with.”

You open and close your mouth a few times before you can remember how to speak. “I’m not having this conversation with you. Particularly not with your cum still on my stomach.”

Yoongi nods toward the en-suite. “There’s towels in there. Or you can shower if you want.”

Your head spins as you silently slip out of his bed, and you shut the bathroom door firmly behind you, wishing you could leave that entire conversation on the other side of it. Maybe his fancy shower will get hot enough to blast all the thoughts out of your brain, you reason, and it only takes a bit of fumbling with the knobs before you figure it out.

The water pressure is so much better than what you’re used to that you groan a little when you step under the spray. You turn in a semicircle, letting it beat down on your neck and shoulders as you close your eyes, willing the tension to melt out of your body. You really are exhausted, practically asleep on your feet, despite the way your mind is still racing.

You don’t know why you came here tonight. You don’t know what you thought would happen. You don’t know what makes you keep coming back to Yoongi, over and over, like a moth to a flame, like the definition of insanity. You don’t know why he opened up to you tonight, or why you decided to do the same— or what the fuck compelled him to say that Jungkook is in love with you. You don’t know if things are supposed to stay the same after tonight, or if they will be irrevocably different, and you don’t know which you’d even want.

You have no idea what you want, actually. Another drink would be nice.

The sound of the shower door opening startles you, pulling you up from your thought spiral, and your eyes snap open to see Yoongi shutting the door behind him. Without a word, he steps in to crowd you under the water, and you hate the way your heartbeat flutters when he’s close to you.

“What are you—” you try to ask, but you don’t get to finish the sentence before his hand cups your jaw and his mouth finds yours.

His kiss blots everything else from your brain, and in this moment, you’re grateful for it. You lean into him, letting him in deeper when his tongue traces your bottom lip, whimpering softly as his other hand presses to the small of your back to pull you closer.

You don’t know what he wants, either. Why he came in here. But you have a guess.

“Yoongi,” you murmur against his lips. “I can’t again. I’m so tired.”

“It’s okay,” he answers softly, and then his mouth drags you back in like a riptide.

You don’t know how long you stay there like that, kissing him under the steam and the spray, but you’re breathless when you finally pull away to look up at him. Water droplets are twined through his long, dark hair, collecting delicately on his eyelashes, trailing down his neck and over the muscles of his chest.

“You can sleep here tonight, if you want,” Yoongi offers, and before you can even process the words, he’s stepping back to push the shower door open behind him, and then he’s gone.

With the glass fogged over completely from the heat of the water, and the white noise of the fan overhead, you have no concept of when he leaves the bathroom, or what else he might be doing. You just know you feel entirely alone.

After scrubbing yourself thoroughly with a washcloth that you lather in Yoongi’s soap, you emerge from the shower, grabbing a towel from the linen cabinet to wrap up in. It’s weird to smell like him, sandalwood and musk, somehow both comforting and alienating.

When you nudge open the door to his room again, it’s empty, and the inset lighting has been turned off entirely, the room bathed only in the glow of the bedside lamp that’s been switched on.

He’s left out one of his t-shirts for you, and you recognize it as one you’ve seen him in often at work. You remember Googling the label once out of curiosity and nearly passing out at your desk when you saw the three hundred dollar price tag. You pull it on over your head, then return to the bathroom to hang your towel up.

As you slip back into the bedroom, you can’t help but wonder where Yoongi’s disappeared off to, but you’re too exhausted to go looking for him.

Though you figure he’ll be in eventually, your heart still sinks a little as you pull back the covers and crawl into his bed. It feels so much bigger when you’re the only one in it. You decide to leave the lamp on, then turn over to press your cheek to the pillow, and the waves of sleep almost immediately pull you under.

You’re still alone when you wake up in the morning, the other side of the bed entirely undisturbed. 

Blinking slowly, it takes you a moment to remember where you are, and then the night comes back to you piece by piece. The lamp on the nightstand is still on when you sit up and swing your legs over the edge of the bed.

Yawning and rubbing sleep from your eyes, you push open Yoongi’s bedroom door and pad down the hallway, trying to make sense of things. You have to retrace your steps all the way back to the living room before you find him, curled up on his side on the couch with one arm tucked under his head, still sleeping soundly.

He looks smaller like this. More vulnerable, maybe.

You wonder if you should’ve asked him to join you in his bed, and you wonder why he didn’t. Worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, you decide to let him rest.

You move through his apartment aimlessly, like a patron in a museum. Something cracks open inside of you as you allow yourself to take in his place undisturbed, and with it, what could be. The idea that a night spent here could feel normal. The two of you in the clearly well-used kitchen, how you might sit on the counter with a glass of wine while he cooks dinner. Talking about your days, about the past and the future. Sharing a life. Fucking and showering and falling asleep in his bed, tangled up together.

For something so close, it feels impossibly far away in the harsh light of morning. It feels like something meant for a much better person than you.

When you make it all the way back to his room, you peel your borrowed shirt off and drape it across his bed like you found it. You retrieve your clothes from last night off the floor and pull them back on.

Thankfully Yoongi chose to fall asleep on the far side of the couch, so when you re-enter the living room, you’re easily able to grab your purse where you set it down the night before without waking him. You slip your heels on in his entryway, then open the front door and shut it as quietly as you can behind you.

You fish your phone out of your bag and scroll until you find Jimin’s contact, then press it to your ear as the line starts to ring.

~*~

You don’t hear from Yoongi at all on Sunday, and you barely see him at work the next few days. You don’t know why it surprises you. It makes sense. You said that night had to mean nothing, you left in the morning without another word, and it’s not like you’ve made any effort to reach out since.

But nevertheless, hurt feelings sit heavy in the pit of your stomach, stinging like salt in an open wound. You’re angry that Yoongi seems to be acting like nothing even happened. You’re annoyed that you have to spend an entire weekend alone with him in Los Angeles. And you’re pissed off that you have so much fucking work to do in preparation for a trip that’s all about him.

You keep your head down and just try to fucking survive. You stay silent in your meetings unless directly asked a question. You type furiously at your desk, forever behind on emails and late on promised deliverables.

The week passes by in a blur, and it doesn’t even occur to you what day it is until you find Jungkook waiting for you at your desk when you return from an afternoon meeting.

“Hi, Jungkook.” You try to say it gently, to not take your frustrations out on someone who didn’t even do anything. While you’ve made polite small talk all week, things certainly haven’t felt normal, and you can’t tell if he senses it too, or if you’re just letting Yoongi’s cryptic words plant imaginary strange vibes in your head.

To his credit, Jungkook seems unfazed. “It’s the last day before your trip!” he says brightly, and your eyes widen as you realize he’s right. “What’s the rest of your day look like?”

You take a seat at your desk and pull up your calendar to check, and he circles around to look with you. “That was thankfully my last meeting,” you respond. “Just getting back to my never-ending to-do list now.”

“Or…” Jungkook prompts, and you glance up to see him leaning forward to rest his elbows on the back of your desk chair, his chin propped cutely in his hands. “You could not do that.”

You blink up at him. “And what would I be doing instead?”

“I was thinking, it’s been a while since we’ve had a walking meeting. Plus it’s actually nice out. So you should take a break.”

Glancing back at your to-do list sends a fresh wave of dread through you, and then you snap your laptop shut with a resigned sigh. “You’re right. Let’s go.”

Not only could you use the break, but you want things with Jungkook to feel normal again, even if the weirdness is only in your head. Maybe this is what you need.

Down in the lobby, Jungkook holds the door for you, and when you step outside, you realize he’s right. It’s one of those clear-sky early spring days, warm enough out that it feels like the world is starting over, like everything is coming back to life. You can’t help but feel like you could use a fresh start, too.

Though you expect to be led somewhere with food, Jungkook takes a different route instead, and you follow him a few blocks over to the entrance of a nearby park. You end up side by side on a paved pedestrian path, the length of which is lined with trees that have only just begun to bud.

It’s quiet, save for the distant noise of the city, the rustle of nature, and the rush of the occasional cyclist whizzing past. You walk slowly as you chat about nothing of importance: work, music, his dogs.

Jungkook glances over at you during a moment’s pause, with a look on his face like there’s a question he’s been waiting to ask. “So how are you feeling about your trip?”

You can’t quite manage to keep your expression neutral, your eyes rolling like a reflex. “Whatever. I just want to get it over with.”

“Ah.” Jungkook nods, and you can see he’s biting back some reaction. “For some reason I thought you might be excited.”

“What do you mean?”

He just shrugs. “I don’t know. You’ve been… different lately. About Suga. I thought maybe something was going on.” An uneasy feeling starts to wash over you.

“Nothing is going on with me and Yoongi,” you say, far too quickly. Jungkook glances at you, his brows pinched together slightly as if he’s unsure what to believe.

“Okay,” he says simply. You hope that’s the end of it, but then he keeps going. “That’s good. I’m glad I don’t have to tell you to raise your standards.”

Heat rushes into your face, caught somewhere between shame and anger. “Um, what does that mean?”

You grit your teeth when he just shrugs again. “I don’t know. He was such a jerk to you, and then suddenly it’s like you guys are hanging out and getting close and stuff—”

“We are not close,” you interject, and you hate how unsteady your voice sounds when you say it.

“Good,” Jungkook responds. “Because I thought maybe you might be, and it didn’t make any sense to me.”

Overwhelmed by his words, you come to a standstill on the pavement, and he makes it a few steps further before he realizes. As he turns back to face you, the words rush out before you can stop them. “I mean, I don’t see how it’s any of your business either way.”

Jungkook’s brow furrows again. “It’s my business because I care about you. He made you so miserable when you first started, so I don’t see how you could just forget about that and be into him, especially when you could…” He trails off and looks down, unwilling to finish the sentence.

“When I could what?” Another fucking shrug, and you can feel the rage inside you simmering now, threatening to boil over. Yoongi’s question comes back to haunt you— you know Jungkook is in love with you, right?— and the pieces start to slot together in front of you.

“When I could be into you?” you press him, taking an accusatory step closer. “Is that what you want to say?”

His gaze flits up to the trees above you, like he’s willing to look anywhere but your face. “No. I don’t know.”

The birdsong in the air has suddenly started to sound a lot more like screaming, and you have to suppress the urge to do the same. Instead, your voice comes out low and deadly serious. “You and I are friends, Jungkook. Just friends.”

“I know we are,” he says softly.

“Do you?” you snap back, vicious now. “Because it sounds to me like you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous,” he responds automatically, in the same tone, and you scoff.

“Look me in my face and say it.” You take another step toward him, and his eyes meet yours. He’s silent long enough for you to understand the truth, and all at once, you feel like a fucking idiot.

“Let me make this clear to you,” you hiss. “I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and making my own decisions. And I do not have to explain or justify them to anyone, including you, because you are not my fucking boyfriend.”

When you spit the final word, Jungkook flinches like you’ve slapped him, but you can’t stop now. You’re so angry, it feels like it’s eating you alive. “When I want your opinion, as my friend, I’ll ask for it. Understood?”

You’ve never seen him look at you the way he does now, his eyes dark, his face twisted into a near grimace. There’s a long pause, and his voice is stilted when he finally speaks. “Yeah. Sorry I brought it up.”

The two of you walk back to the office in total silence, and Jungkook doesn’t try to talk to you again.

~*~

It’s early enough to still be pitch black outside when Jimin pulls up to the curb of your terminal at Incheon Airport.

“Thanks again for driving.” You yawn around the words as you reach down to unbuckle your seatbelt. When Jimin suddenly pulls you in for a hug, you groan at the affection, but he pays it no mind, dotting kisses over your hair that make you squirm.

“Love you, have fun. And be a slut!”

You roll your eyes as you manage to peel him off of you. “Bye, Baby Mochi.”

Slipping on a face mask, you push the door of his car open and climb out of the passenger seat. You swing open the trunk to grab your suitcase, then slam it shut again and step up onto the curb.

Making your way into the terminal, you dig your phone out of your bag to double-check the text from Yoongi, and then you glance up at the sign overhead to confirm you’re right where he said he’d be.

It takes a second for you to realize the person walking in your direction is Min Yoongi. The black baseball cap pulled low over his eyes is certainly not a bad look, but when paired with his black face mask, it makes him almost impossible to identify, or get a good read on. Rolling your suitcase ahead of you, you move toward him, and the two of you meet in the middle.

You wore sneakers today, so he still seems tall.

“Hi,” you say simply, a thousand different emotions swirling in your gut. You do your best to ignore them all.

Yoongi hums a wordless grunt back in response, then turns to face the already bustling security line. You mirror him, and for a moment the two of you just stay like that, like you’re standing firmly in the present and unsure of what might be waiting on the other side.

He gives a tired sigh. “Ready?” You’re surprised to learn he can speak this early in the morning. 

“I guess so,” you answer.

Perfectly in sync, you both push your bags forward, stepping carefully toward a weekend that feels impossible to imagine.

chapter seven | masterlist | chapter nine

[barb-l]

Ohh! You might be right about Wednesday wearing dark blue in Fam Values but I swear I can only recall her bathing suit, one Morticia dress and Debbie's fits at the moment haha. I'm gonna probably rewatch both movies before Halloween though. Wbu? Are u planning any spooky movie marathon maybe? Also oof I'm so sorry abt your experience with the school for g00d and and evil. I haven't seen it.. yet(?).. but I read the book ages ago and um yeah. 😐😑😒

GOSH THANK U SO MUCH for posting your draft, you made my night!! Like I'm sitting here with a huge, dumb smile on my face cause it's so sweet and wholesome! Enid knew she was gonna miss Wednesday even before parting for the summer so she gave her her number but didn't have much hope she would even keep it. But Wednesday did keep it and bought a phone so just she could text her because she missed her too! OH BE STILL MY HEART 😳 That's also what Enid must have told herself after receiving that msg and realizing that ''Wednesday Addams actually missed me'' 😳

That bit about Enid thinking of Wesnesday and her smile? I SWOONED

And how Wednesday keeps making HER smile effortlessly with just being her weird as shit gothic ass self? The one Enid grew to LO- LIKE so much? OH MY HEART

This is such a fantastic draft you have here and I'm so grateful and honored you shared it with us. 💛 I'm no way asking or bugging you to finish it before the show drops cause I understand you prefer to post canon compliant content. All I'm gonna say is if inspiration strikes and you find your head full of ideas for this fic don't let anything stop you from writing it. You're genuinely amazing in expressing yourself in both writing and drawing so sometimes you can have a little non-canon stuff too as a treat 😄 I for one am gonna love love love it either way among many others. Of course it's up to you and only you, like I said I understood your reasoning perfectly. It's just.. this is waaaay to good to be scrapped. Really. Alright I will shut up now. Thanks again 💛

Ah not really. Whatever time i have when im not working, id rather spend drawing either for fun or my commissions. Although i do love creepy and macabre stuff, im not a big fan of horror movies. A lot of them are more about either shocking viewers and being as gorey and torture porn-y as possible, which isn't really my thing. Tho there are some horror movies out there i quite liked, I prefer to watch compilation videos of ghosts caught on camera and stuff if im in the mood for something spooky.

The SGE movie's pretty good for someone like me who hasn't read the books. My brother and I actually had tons of fun until all the confusing qb(and the whole thing with Rafal and Sophie. Barf). Like, if the filmmakers knew Agatha and Sophie were sisters then why have them kiss on the lips?? Unless they plan on retconning that since i hear that was only revealed at a later book...

Omg thank you! Ive mentioned it before but I'm not as confident with my writing as i am with my art, so compliments regarding my fics are always super appreciated. I'll consider continuing to write it, if there's still more i can squeeze out of me.

[anotherhellchild]

Okay so Idk if u are busy cause as we all know the world is hell right now and school is a fucking nightmare but. I have a prompt for A BakuJirou Friendship Fic. It's pretty much a fleshed out Idea that I can't put into words cause I can't write for shit anyway here it is

Baku and Jirou chilling on Jirou's room (Brotp 4 life)-  she metions that she has a written song- Kids Again by Artist and Poet

She thinks it's missing something from the verses- it only has the girl's parts cause jirous a girl obvs

She thinks it needs more backing instruments

Asks Bakugou fpr help with drums cause we know he can play drums

Once he hears the song he says it needs piano (he can totally play piano, it would probs be good for the nerves in his fingers after all of the explosions) and another vocal/more verses

They write and brainstorm for a few hours or days

Thet don't know who to ask to sing the male parts

Jirou asks Baku to do them- he refuses a lot but gives- either through bribery or because he respects Jirou

Jirou shocked and personally betrayed that she didn't know Baku could sing this well (jokingly betrayed, not like this is gonna lead to an arguement)

The class finds them out- maybe Denki or Kiri could hear them.

They are all in shock that Baku can sing.

Could lead into a relationship fic- one of the class is in panic at how well Baku can sing (preferebly Kiri or Todo cause Kiribaku and Todobaku are my otps)

oooohhhh yesss!! u had me at BakuJirou!! (also quick disclaimer here: i know absolutely nothing about music or the process of making it or singing or anything even remotely close :D i sure as fuck am pretending that i do tho!)

(and yeah,, ive been gone for a bit now... sorry to everyone for that. just been really tired and drained lately,, schools kinda been kicking my ass and yeahh i wont start about it,, just sorry.  thanks for the ask tho! i appreciate people still coming here to talk even tho i haven’t rly been around )

ANYWAY

I love this idea! first off, i love the hc that baku can sing and that plus the bakujirou friendship is already great! 

i kinda imagine that the both of them are just chilling in jirou’s room and she casually mentions she’s been working on a song. so then baku obviously wants to hear it, jirou is kinda shy but eventually shows him what she’s got so far. 

now, baku being baku and all, keeps a poker face throughout the whole thing. (which makes jirou really anxious on the inside cause she cant tell what he’s thinking) But once he’s heard what she’s got so far he says its actually pretty decent (which is bakugou-speak for he likes it) 

they start discussing what could be added/ what could make it better or whatever 

baku adds drums and together they figure out the piano

after a day or two jirou suggests adding another voice and baku thinks thatll be good

the problem: who’s gonna do it?

after debating it for a bit- (mostly just them wondering if any of the boy’s in class even have the ability to sing and THEN wondering if jirou even has the nerve to ask them to help out)

-jirou eventually says something along the lines of: “well,we dont even know if it’d sound good in the first place so maybe you could just sing to test it out, then we’ll see after that.” 

bakugou does not agree

jirou offers him a free meal in exchange

bakugou finds that such an offer would be too wasteful to reject so he reluctantly agrees

now, jirou isnt expecting much at all. her goal here is not to find the voice for her song, its just to see if a male voice fits nicely. she’s kinda expecting some off key pitches and false notes, she figures she can just fix it up a bit with auto tune later. this is just a test after all.

but then. ohhohoo THEN.

bakugou sings, he fucking s i n g s

jirou is lucky she’s already sitting on the floor because she’d have been floored

she really was not expecting this, so much so that she’s literally frozen to the ground.

bakugou, who cannot handle compliments, kinda stares at her suspiciously when she tells him he’s amazing.

after the initial shock, a lot of grumbling, a lot of convincing (on jirou’s part), more grumbling and eventually another bribe; bakugou agrees to sing the other part of the song.

they work on it the rest of the day

that evening, jirou’s kinda humming the song out loud in the common area. people notice.

naturally, chaos ensues 

at least half of the class is around (baku included) they convince jirou to let them listen to the song (baku excluded, not that he minds tho. its her song)

theyre all very impressed and excited etc etc

someone wonders who the other voice was? it’s amazing just like jirou’s own!

jirou tells them its bakugou 

theyre all floored

literally frozen to the ground

literally frozen to the ground

seriously, there is ice at their feet.

Is.. todoroki.... blushing?!

[gayerthantheewrites]

Hi hi i sent a request earlier but tmblr said it didnt send so im doing this again,,I saw ur post about 3 things smth and I wanted to request if its still open 😅

I tend to ignore people during morning(particularlly when i dont feel like talkin), I close my eyes when Im upset/trouble(particularlly when I feel like crying) and I like cute plushies + bokuto + puppies.

Sorry for this if its too detailed or smth and if your not accepting request anymore, ignore this JSKDKSKSKSKS I look forward to your future contents btw💕💕

𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐨𝐰𝐞;

➽ 3 things + 𝐁𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐊𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 + puppies

a/n: hello nonnie!! don't worry ur pretty little head, your request was fine!! i'm sorry this took so long tho,, thank you for waiting!! baby boy bokuto is onuv my comfort characters and writing this was like a relieving breath of air :') enjoy!

!!: ambiguous au, implied college, gn reader

w: self-consciousness in beginning, awful judgement over people, it's brief and not the focus tho, just kinda so 's all good :'))

requests: open <3

They say Bokuto Koutarou was many things: assuming, barbaric, shallow and maybe self-satisfied. Everyone had an opinion over the campus’ golden boy, but these, and more were what struck him harder than the compliments that reached his ears. It put a stain on his mind. He became more aware of his actions and thinking. If the slight change in his posture was obvious, no one had given him away.

Bokuto Koutarou had become conscious.

And today, if he was any younger, he’d be quick to voice his denial. He’d disagree and prove himself, say it was simple misconception. But like everyone else, he grows. Which is why today, he is well past that; Bokuto Koutarou had better things to do than correct shallow judgement said to define who he is.

So what if they thought he was assuming?

If keeping his words to himself as he got to class, because he sensed your mood that morning was assuming, maybe he really was. As he sat there, a few spaces beside you, quiet and content, maybe it was true. Already knowing how you feel without you needing to communicate, to tell him you didn’t feel like socializing early in the day, Bokuto could say he was assuming.

And if Bokuto was barbaric, perhaps he could agree to that. As he frowned at the sight of you scrunching your eyes closed, your eyebrows heavy, unspeaking, and the shine of brine in the corner of your eyes maybe he was barbaric. Barbaric for wanting the reason you’re upset to be taught a lesson, a lesson he’d personally give. Barbaric as he shook his head disapprovingly, yet as he invites you in his arms that you accept, he looks anything but. Big, barbaric Bokuto whose arms were massive, whose touches were as delicate as a petal, he pulls you to him and engulfs you like a safety net. Maybe he really was barbaric, as he thought of how to speak to that person to not upset you any further.

But he thinks he’d most agree to being shallow. Shallow, shallow Bokuto as he scanned the many items on the specific isle. Skimming the pads of his fingers on the fabric, trying to find the one he liked that you’d like too. Shallow as he pedalled to the till, smiling up at the cashier who seemed a bit amused over the adorable stuffed toy Bokuto laid on their counter, and a few snacks and beverages he knew you’d like. If shallow meant putting a smile to your face with gifts he laced his heart with, price be damned, then shallow is he.

And as Bokuto sits over the mattress with you, whose form was enveloped by the comforter, he agrees. He can finally feel the apples of his cheeks climb up further to his eyes when he finally saw the loose curl of your lips. He can feel his eyes shine as you lay a gentle gaze on him. He could burst with accomplishment any second now, but you postpone his combustion once you lay both your palms over the sides of his face to pull him closer, to lay a soft kiss on his temple. All your love, emotion, appreciation and acknowledgement secreted by the touch of your lips to his skin, and he felt everything swelling in his chest. His eyes water as he clutches on the hands you placed on his face. He hiccups and you chuckle, on the verge of sobbing too.

He whole-heartedly agrees. Maybe Bokuto Koutarou truly was self-satisfied, if the feeling of achieving your love was his greatest accomplishment of all.

“Wouldn’t if be cool if.. we get something that looks like this,” he points at the newest addition to your collection of stuffed animals. “ but it moves?”

“...you mean a puppy?”

“Puppies, actually but yeah,”

Yet to be completely honest? He could care less about being portrayed as assuming, barbaric, shallow and self-satisfied. He knows what defines him, and he doesn’t owe them an explanation, let alone change. Bokuto Koutarou knows his worth, and he could thank the both of you for it.

It’s time to begin, isn’t it?

I get a little bit bigger, but then I’ll admit

I’m just the same as I was

Now don’t you understand

That I’m never changing who I am

— It’s Time, Imagine Dragons

; anon u're lovely!! i look forward too!! so sweet u r,,

; i just,, rlly love bokuto and i hope i did him justice,, now back to calculus!! part of the warm-up/match-up event <33 requests are open!

tagging: @neoheros ilysm how r u

[lavendersuh]

what a feeling

johnny x fem!reader | badboy!au, too much fluff | 2.4k words

warnings: mentions of nicotine addition, alcohol

based off of this moodboard and au idea created by @neo-cult-ure!! thank you luv for allowing me to play around with this au idea! I originally wrote this bc i loved the idea and just wanted to self indulge in some writing a few nights ago. I probably could’ve fleshed this out more, but i’m in the middle of exams so i probably shouldn’t even be writing fic rn haha (fair warning tho there is so much fluff help) hope u enjoy!!

~~~

“I need your help.”

Haechan looks up to see an unexpected face peering over him. It wasn’t every day that resident bad boy Johnny Suh was asking a drama student for something. While the two of them ran around in slightly similar circles due to their mutual acquaintances, Haechan can’t remember the last time he spoke one-on-one with Johnny.

“What do you need my help with?” he asks curiously, as he shuts his locker. 

“There’s this girl.” Johnny says, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, “She’s different, Haechan, I need your help.” 

Johnny has always been the most confident person Haechan knows. He always admired him for that, but now it appears that the tall boy has a rosy tiny covering his cheeks, along with a sheepish smile. 

“My help? I can’t imagine being much help compared to Jaehyun… isn’t he your wing man?” Haechan responds.

He begins walking away, heading for his next class. He didn’t hate Johnny, nothing even close to that, but he was a bit suspicious of why he was coming to a self-proclaimed nerdy, drama student for help. 

“This is different…” Johnny mumbles as he catches up with Haechan, “Do you know that diner a few blocks from here? The Neo Zone?” 

Haechan looks over at him, “That neon, throwback place? Yeah, the theater kids go there after practice sometimes.”

“There’s a waitress there.” The older boy says, “She’s pretty, her laugh is like a song, Haechan, she’s perfect.”

“The problem, then?” Haechan asks. Johnny didn’t seem like the kind of person to have trouble with the ladies.

“She wants nothing to do with me.”

Haechan can’t help the laugh he lets out, “Did your usual flirting not work out for you?”

Johnny wasn’t a terrible guy, in fact, he could be very respectful (despite the cheesy pick-up lines sometimes), with a nice sense of humor and friendly smile to go along with it. But he had some bad habits. He refused to buy a helmet for his precious motorcycle. He smoked more than he should. He wasn’t always present during school hours. But underneath the leather jacket and torn up jeans, the boy wasn’t all that bad. He loved to flirt and fool around, but he never took things farther than someone wanted.

Johnny frowns at Haechan’s laughter, “I was hoping you could help me. She’s interested in 80s films, and I know you’re into stuff like that. You have a huge collection, don’t you? Could I borrow The Breakfast Club? Sixteen Candles?”

“Yeah, I can lend you some of them this weekend.” Haechan stops in front of the door to his next class, turning around to look back at Johnny, who’s grinning with appreciation.

“But Johnny?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s gonna take more than just flirting and watching her favorite movies. You gotta get to know her.” 

Johnny throws him a classic smirk, his confidence returning to his face, “Will do, Haechan.”

~~~

“Hey, Y/N!”

You turn around without Johnny seeing the roll of your eyes. After his shameless flirting last weekend you knew he would probably be back. 

His flirting wasn’t creepy; it was actually a little bit flattering. You couldn’t count on your hand the number of men that had spoken their fair share of sleezy comments to you. Johnny’s flirting was refreshing (but maybe that was just because he seemed to be your age instead of thirty years your senior). He asked about your favorite movies when you had mentioned liking 80s films. He complimented the sneakers you painted yourself. 

But alas, he was also a walking stereotype, with the leather jackets and motorcycle parked just out front. When you waited on his table last time, you nearly coughed over the smell of nicotine that followed him around.

“Hi, Johnny,” you say, leading him to a booth in the corner, laying out the menu on the table.

“I watched some of the movies you told me about,” he says, smiling brightly at you, “Got any more recommendations?”

You can’t help but feel a bit flustered at the fact that he watched some of the stuff you recommended. He was paying you a lot more attention than you had previously thought. 

While you take his order and bring out his food, Johnny flirts and makes jokes. You can’t help but smile at some of the things he says, despite yourself. By the end of his meal, you bring out his receipt, showing him the list of movies you wrote on the back in black pen. 

“Thanks! Maybe I could take you out and we could talk about them sometime?” he asks, a hopeful gleam in his eye. 

You roll your eyes at him, “You’re gonna have to do more than just watch my favorite movies for me to change my mind about you.” 

“Am I really that bad?”

“You aren’t bad, Johnny. I just feel like I deserve more than just someone who smokes and rides a motorcycle without protection.” You say, walking off to ring up his order and get his change. 

He huffs as you walk off. What was he to do? 

~~~

‘This is stupid,’ Johnny thinks to himself as he pulls up to the diner, a week and a half later. He was driving Haechan’s car, but that wasn’t the only thing he had borrowed.

When Johnny had reconvened with the boy, Haechan told him he needed to change up his act in order to impress you. 

And somehow this is how Johnny ended up walking into the diner with a dorky sweater and his hair neatly combed on a Friday evening. The neon sign of the diner glowed into the car, casting shadows on the funny pattern of the sweater.

He felt so stupid, but he was also kind of desperate. It was Haechan that had come up with the plan after suggesting he dress a bit nicer. 

“I don’t know if I have any ‘nice’ clothes, Haechan,” Johnny had told the other boy.

“Then you can borrow some of mine!” Haechan looked up at how tall his friend was, “Or maybe my brother’s…”

Johnny knows he went overboard but he also really wants to see your smile again. He supposes it’s worth it. 

“Welcome in,” you say, but as you turn around, you pause, “...Johnny?” 

He smiles, reminding himself that he can be confident without the bad boy clothes and aesthetic. “Does your shift end soon? Could I take you out for ice cream?”

Somehow you can’t help but find the outfit change endearing, so you find yourself nodding. The boy was clearly trying to impress you, so you should at least give him a chance. And ice cream sounded excellent after a long shift. It couldn’t be all that bad, could it?

~~~

It ended up being quite nice, actually. 

Johnny took you to an ice cream shop on the edge of town, leading you to a picnic bench after getting two cones of ice cream. As the sun fully slipped away and the stars started to come out along the purple sky, you both discussed movies, the future, your favorite foods, everything.

He was a good listener, holding eye contact and asking questions, full of attention. He told lovely stories when he wanted to, as well. You couldn’t help but find yourself to be a bit drawn to him when you finally gave him the time of day. His humor, his soft smiles, his contagious laugh. It was clear to see it would be easy to fall for someone like him.

It was hard though, knowing the reputation he held. He did risky things, a cigarette in one hand, his motorcycle keys in the other. From his stories, you knew he cut class. He never wore a helmet, either.

Just because he wore a nice sweater and borrowed a friend’s car didn’t change these things.

“I hope we can do this again, sometime.” 

Johnny lightly holds your hand as he stands outside of your front door while dropping you off.

You looked up at him, his face soft under your front porch light. There was so much hope in his eyes, hope for the idea that you would give him more of your time, more of your smiles.

“Oh, Johnny,” you say, slowly, “This is really sweet, but this isn’t you.”

He looks confused for a moment, protesting, “Of course, this is me. I just cleaned up my act, like you said.”

You frown, “Sure, I did say that, but you changed all the outside pieces of yourself.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” he asks.

“What? Johnny, no, of course not!” you exclaim, “I don’t care if you have this ‘bad boy’ act, and drink, and ride motorcycles. I just hate that you are so careless with yourself. You smelled like smoke every time I saw you. You never wear a helmet. You refuse to go to class sometimes. It hurts me seeing someone so bright, someone I’m enjoying getting to know, do nothing but hurt themselves.” 

You squeeze his hand, hoping to offer some form of comfort while you speak your truths. “Just cause you changed your clothes doesn’t mean you are changed for the better.”

“What are you saying?”

“I like you, Johnny. You.” you say, taking his hand in yours, “Not this dressed up, masked version of you. I just want you to care about yourself. So I can care about you, too.” 

Things are quiet for a moment, as Johnny stares at the ground. Finally, he looks up at you, an unknown flicker in his eyes. 

You let go of his hand, “You have some stuff to work through. You’re sweet, Johnny, and I’m happy that we’ve gotten to know each other. Please call me when you figure things out.”

You go inside, leaving him frozen in place. 

~~~

“Has Johnny come in lately?” 

You are startled out of wiping down tables at the diner when you hear someone speak to you. You look up to see a honey-haired boy, who you recognize as Haechan, one of the drama club kids from school. 

“You know him?” you ask, your eyes narrowed.

“Yeah,” Haechan rubs the back of his neck, “We’ve become friends recently. He told me he liked you. Asked to borrow some movies and stuff.” 

Realization dawns on you that Johnny had probably gone to Haechan to get some guidance. The thought makes your heart squeeze. You’d been curious about where Johnny was getting the knowledge from. You recall Haechan being in the after school film club as well. 

“He stopped coming in a while ago,” you say, “I gave him my number after we went out once, but I didn’t hear from him.”

You try to keep the feeling of sadness from washing over you, but you’re surprised at how affected you are by Johnny’s absence in the past few weeks. While his flirting could be a bit relentless sometimes, there was no doubt that he respected you through all of his charming antics.

“Hm..” Haechan seems to be deep in thought at your words. 

You ask him if he wants to order anything, but he declines, thanking you for the offer before leaving nearly as soon as he had entered. 

~~~

“Hey.”

You look up on your way out of the diner after your shift, startled by a voice. Johnny stands in the parking lot, next to his motorcycle, a soft smile across his face. He has his leather jacket back on, but surprisingly, you notice he has a helmet tucked under his arm, too.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, walking up to him, “You haven’t come in for a while.”

“Thought I’d come stop by,” he grins. “I heard you missed me.”

You look down shyly at the pavement, “I never said that… but yeah, I guess.”

It was a surprising feeling as you confessed that small truth to Johnny. It was boring around the diner without his conversations and flirting words. It felt nice to let those words out.

Johnny leans behind him, grabbing another, smaller helmet, “Wanna take a ride? I wanna take you out for another date. I even bought you a helmet. Hope you’re not scared to go a little fast.” 

You nod, unable to keep the smile off of your face. It was nice hearing Johnny’s bluntness again. He seemed more relaxed, more comfortable with himself.

You run over to your car quickly, shoving your bag into the backseat before walking back over to Johnny. You climb on to the bike behind him, feeling him place the extra helmet on your head. While he adjusts it, his fingers brush across your face, sending chills down your spine. 

Once he’s back in position, you boldly wrap your arms around his torso, letting your head rest across his jacket. You take a deep breath, expecting to smell the nicotine that follows him around, but his leather jacket smells fresh.

“Did you quit smoking?” you ask, as he turns on the motorcycle.

“Yeah, I quit after our date,” he explains, “I was kinda unbearable for a while there… That's why I didn’t come into the diner. After a while, I figured you woulda forgot about me.”

You let out a laugh as he pulls out of the parking lot, “How could I ever?” 

You both ride along in silence, aside from your nervous laughs as the motorcycle speeds through traffic. You notice the elevation getting higher as he rides outside of the city.

Finally, he pulls off next to a scenic outlook overlooking the metropolis. The sun is starting to set, casting shadows along the buildings, along Johnny’s face. You can’t tell which you find more beautiful.

“I want to thank you.” he says, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you to look at him. 

“For what?” 

“For caring about me. I didn’t even care about me.” he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek.

You smile up at him, his soft words making you bold. You lean in, kissing his lips in response. After you pull back, Johnny wraps his arms around you, pulling you into the warmest hug of your life. 

It seemed simple, really. As the sun set with an orange glow, marking the end of a day, it also marked a new beginning. It left you both with a warm feeling. And what a feeling it was.