#to a stern silent leader of the later seasons

[jaspxr]

I catch killers, I save lives, I am a hero until my key hits my front door and then I am just the father and the husband who is never there. Here's the thing: when I am home, I am in this silent panic because I know that I have to be as good as I can, as fast as I can, because any minute the phone is gonna ring and my time is up.                  

          ↬ Aaron Hotchner ‘Ashes and Dust’ 2x19

@hotchappreciationweek  ↬ Favourite (heart breaking) quote

[dreamkidddream]

So far of reading your writing, I really love it! :)) May I request Kunikida, Dazai and Ranpo having an younger member of the agency being a sort of subordinate of them but acts a lot like a younger sibling to them? She's just really pure hearted and soft and really looks up to them so she likes helping them out a lot. Just some fluff because my boys deserve all love and affection

Awww thank you so much for the compliment!! This request is so cute, and yes, all the boys deserve all the love and affection that is possible cause they go through too much 😭 Anon requested this as platonic, and reader is gender neutral. Also, I wasn’t too sure what the age should be, so I went with Kyoka’s age, which is 14. Hope you enjoy!

TW: Mentions of suicide in Dazai’s part, but nothing too heavy or specific is mentioned. It does get kinda sad though, but it has a happy ending. Also, slight spoiler for season 2/Dark Era Arc, but nothing too major

Young ADA Member Acting like a Younger Sibling to: Kunikida, Dazai, and Ranpo

Kunikida

Okay, so when you first started at the office, people (specifically Naomi and Junichiro) were nervous when you got paired up with Kunikida. And Kunikida isn’t a bad man by any means, but he can be very, very, very strict

And how well do rules stick with kids/younger people? Exactly. It just sounded like a bomb waiting to explode

And you look so soft and so sweet! What if he made you cry?!

Which Naomi threatened to draw blood if he did

Even Kunikida himself was nervous. This was not written in his notebook to be a glorified babysitter!

But the President insisted, putting faith into you that you’ll be a great addition to the team and that he can lead you on the right path and not into trouble like some people he won’t mention (Dazai)

That was all that he needed to hear, and he took those words very serious. He won’t let the President down, and he wasn’t going to let you down either. You guys were gonna give it your all, whether you were ready to or not

But, to everyone’s surprise (really his) you both adapted well. You treated him with respect, said yes sir, no sir, tidied up both of your desks (which were right next to each other), you even tried to abide by his stern schedule without any complaints

You were a great help on missions too, you didn’t recklessly throw yourself into danger, and you made sure to look out for citizens to keep them safe and out of danger

And that wasn’t it, oh no

You made sure to bring him snacks (atleast the ones that he said were ideal), made sure that he was keeping hydrated and not tensed up all the time (working in this office will do that to you), and to make his workload as light as possible

After seeing him go off on Dazai for the 1000th time and getting wound up over a case that wasn’t getting any leads, you saw how stressed and frustrated he was getting. Mumbling to himself about how could he “replace the President if he couldn’t do this right”So you tapped on your shoulder, with one goal in mind: To comfort him

When you tapped his shoulder, he turned and yelled, “WHAT NOW?!”, right into your face

Time stood still as everyone froze, shocked. Even Kunikida himself after he saw it was you.

He felt immediately guilty, about to apologize for losing his cool when you began speaking

“Mr. Kunikida, please don’t stress too much. It’s not good for your heart! And don’t let this one thing stop you! You’re a great leader, and someone that I look up to. I wouldn’t be where I was at now without you! So please don’t doubt yourself, because we don’t, especially me! You’re my role model, Mr. Kunikida. Please, don’t ever forget that.”

After that, it was like a flip switched in him

“(Y/N), come here and walk very slowly.”

You did so with no hesitation, but you were curious

“Your shoe is untied. Here, let me tie it for you. It wouldn’t be ideal if you get injured because of a lousy shoelace. It wouldn’t be ideal if you got injured at all.”

“(Y/N), we have lunch scheduled at exactly 12:15. They’re also serving your favorite today, so we can’t be late, understand?”

“Yes sir!”, you said with a smile

“(Y/N), let’s go. It’s getting dark and if you still want to see that dreaded light show, we have to leave in 20 seconds to make it! I don’t want to see you sad or hear you complain if we miss it.”

“Coming sir! Just finishing up some work for tomorrow-“

“I already have it written in my notebook on when it will be done, so we can go.”

“Here you go Mr. Kunikida, I already typed up and printed out the reports for later on!”

“Thanks kid. And you don’t have to keep calling me Mister okay? Kunikida is fine.”

Dead silent in the office

KUNIKIDA is letting someone way younger than him just call him KUNIKIDA? Not MR.KUNIKIDA???

Everyone is, realistically, shook

But as time went on, they understood why

He came to look after you as his own

The entire ADA would have never thought the day would come (it wasn’t even in the notebook!) where he would care for a kid like his little sibling but here it was, right in front of their faces

But they weren’t complaining at all. You seemed to make his day a little brighter, and he wasn’t as uptight as much (but don’t be mistaken he was still Kunikida, just at an 8 instead of a whole 10)

After that mini pep talk that fateful day, he made it his duty to be a good role model for you. To always set a good example, both in and out the office.

He wouldn’t fail you, and he would be damned if he let anything happen to you

You’re a good kid, and you only deserve the best. And he was gonna be the best role model (and brother) for you

Dazai

Aw man, he was..conflicted to say the least

Listen, it’s not like he hates kids or teens, but it’s just extra responsibilities to watch over them. And he already slacks off enough to begin with, so is this really a good idea sticking a 14 year-old with him?

And lowkey, the way that he treated Akutagawa is still heavy on his mind, and he doesn’t want a repeat

But the President made it so, and Kunikida was ready to attack if he even thought about denying the order. Plus, it could be like another Atsushi around (another person to pass work off too) so that was a win!

And another person to annoy Kunikida too

You looked so pure and innocent. Are you sure that you’re in the right place? 

He genuinely thought you were a lost kid when you came up to him the first time lmao

Geez, you even sound sweet too! How has this world not damage or corrupt you yet?

“Hi Mr. Dazai! It’s nice to meet you. I hope that we can make a great team, and that I’m here to help if you need anything!”

“Nice to meet you too. And now that you mention it, these reports have been giving me a hard time...”

Not gonna lie, he did take advantage of your help. You offered, so why not? He thought you were gonna get sick of it soon and start complaining, but nope

You took his reports and did it with no hesitation every time. And you always handed it to him with a bright smile. On top of that, you always cleaned up his area and behind him, you did any leftover work that he ignored forgot to do so that he wouldn’t get yelled at, and tried to bring him small snacks and even packed a whole lunch for him when you noticed that he didn’t eat a lot

He even started to feel pretty bad and he was getting disapproving looks from his fellow detectives (even Kenji, and he never frowns)

So he started to take back and *GASP* actually do his work?!

But you stopped him, and told him that he should, “Take it easy! You work hard enough as it is saving the city. It’s no problem doing these reports, and I want to help you in any way I can, Mr. Dazai.”

“(Y/N), don’t worry, I can do them. And remember it’s just Dazai, calling me Mister makes me feel old like Kunikida-”

“I HEARD THAT!” 

And it seemed like you really cared for his wellbeing, especially when you had to accompany him on missions

Well, it just so happen that while you were going with Atsushi to find Dazai to start a mission, you both found him

Hanging upside down, sinking to the bottom of the lake

You rushed into the water immediately, pulling him out and onto the ground while Atsushi was just standing there in disbelief

Atsushi is so done with his shit

“Dazai, can you hear me?! Dazai?! Atsushi, I gotta give him CPR I don’t think he’s-”

“(Y/N) don’t worry he’s okay! This isn’t his first time he’s done this, and probably not the last.”

“W-what do you mean?”

Oh

Oh

You didn’t know about Dazai’s suicide methods? Did he not tell you or talk about it in front of you? Atsushi would have been somewhat proud of him if this whole situation didn’t happen, but here we are

“Geez, guess this method isn’t for me. It seems like someone is bound to always inter- hm, (Y/N)? What are doing out of the office? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

You hugged his chest tightly, not caring that he was practically soaked down to the bone

“Please stop, Dazai! Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to leave everyone?! Why are you trying to leave ME?!”

That got his attention

“Your life is important, Dazai, too important to try and end it on your own terms! You’re special to me, I look up to you. You’re smart, funny, and you help everyone out in your own special way. If you weren’t here anymore, everyone would be so lost...I would be so lost..,I-I-I wouldn’t know what to do-”

“(Y/N)-”

You looked up, eyes red and puffy with tears rolling down your cheeks, but filled with determination

“I promise you that I will make sure you know how much you matter to everyone. I swear on my life that I will.”

Okay, so you know how you were helpful/adorable before? On a scale of 1-10, you were definitely at an 11. But Dazai felt like you were at a 20

At first, he thought that you weren’t being genuine. You were just a young kid who didn’t know any better and was just trying to do your job, in sickeningly, oversweet way. I mean, who would really care about him with his horrid past? He was convinced that you were just naïve, and that the world would swallow you whole when it gets the chance. And it made him feel pity for you

But you proved him wrong

You weren’t just some ignorant child. You were in this agency working alongside him for a reason. And you reminded him of that everyday when he saw you working, handling the cases, taking actions on missions, all the while being kindhearted through and through 

You especially went out of way for him, and it was both a warm and scary feeling. People that he ended up caring for shared an undeserving fate, and he blamed himself for it constantly. So he tried to keep his distance, for your safety. You still had a life to live, and he didn’t want to ruin that for you.

But it was kinda hard to when you work together, and with you constantly being under his wing trying to show him the good in life and the difference that he made, he couldn’t help but admit it

You proved him wrong, and not a lot of people can say that. 

You went out of your way to make sure that everyone was okay, mentally and physically. He didn’t want to admit it, but you made the office (and his life) a little bit more bearable when you were around. You’re a good kid. And it was so fun to rope you and sometimes Atsushi into his schemes lmao y’all can be so gullible sometimes

Unfortunately, he still planned to leave this world, but he tried not to talk about it in front of or around you, and his number of attempts did dwindle, so that was a good thing

“Hey (Y/N), let’s grab something to eat, I would be a terrible person if I let my dear little baby assistant go hungry.”

“Dazai, if you’re hungry, you can just say that. I don’t mind finishing this later. It’s good to eat when you need to, and your health is #1 priority!”

He couldn’t take back his past and the way he abused Akutagawa, but he could certainly make sure that he doesn’t make the same mistakes

And that would start with being a decent role model for you. He won’t exactly be a “model citizen”, but he will always do the right thing. He’s turned over a new leaf by turning to the light, and while his methods aren’t always legal, he won’t stray from it again

And he won’t let you stray either

Ranpo

He was not a happy camper at all, let me tell you

Hello, do you know who he is?? He’s the greatest detective in the world! Why would the President think he need a sidekick?! He saw you working under him as an insult. Were they trying to say that he wasn’t good enough on his own?!

You weren’t exactly welcome with open arms, but that was okay! You were a complete stranger to him, but you were hoping that would change overtime

And Fukuzawa offered to praise him if he took you in so he stopped pouting momentarily

“Hi Mr. Ranpo! I’ve heard great things about you, and I hope that we can get along!”

“Well, of course you’ve heard great things about me, I’m the greatest detective in the world! It would be a crime if you didn’t hear about me.”

It was a rocky start between you guys to say the least. Not only was he lazy with the work he already had (I mean, it was too easy for him), but you were always willing to complete it (which you did, when you realized that maybe he was too tired or had other important things to worry about)

Who are you trying to fool, this man was just being lazy 

But you either didn’t realize it or you just purposely ignored it to get it done for the sake of the agency. Bless your pure heart for putting up with that poutyface 

Despite that, you handled everything with positivity and pride. When discussing cases (even though he would solve it in under a minute), you already had the reports ready to go, took notes for him, and you even tidied up his desk (which really consisted of his snack pile)

And you were starting to grow on him. You were like his mini cheerleader/#1 fan. His ego was going through the roof

On missions, it was a piece of cake for him, duh! With his ability, Super Deduction, it was always easy. And you were in the background, in awe with everything going on. He wanted to say he was surprised, but he would be lying. It would be a downright lie if you said you weren’t impressed with his ability and with him in general.

You repeatedly praised him, and he always gave you the same response: 

“World’s greatest detective, remember?”

The one thing that would cause him to see you in a new light, was when he got lost. You remembered Kunikida mentioning that he wasn’t the best at navigating the train system

He really said that Ranpo didn’t even know how to read the schedule, and that someone had to always walk with him to make sure he was going to the right places. 

He just wanted to go back to the office to his beloved snacks, when this happened. He wasn’t stupid by any means, but it was a waste to use his ability on something trivial as this-

“Mr. Ranpo! Wait for me!”

Just as he knew, you were running late meeting him

“Hey (Y/N) what took you so long?! My beloved snacks are calling for me back at the agency, and I need to answer-”

“Don’t worry, I packed you some!”

“Yeah, I already knew that since that’s the reason you’re late. And before you ask, you look out of breath, the receipt is still crumpled in your hand, and I see some crumbs from something you already ate on your clothes.”

Huh. Was it that obvious? You guess so...

Or maybe Ranpo really is the world’s greatest detective!

“I know, I know. I’m the best, no need to tell-”‘

“Mr. Ranpo, you deserve all the praise that you get. You’re someone I want to be like when I get older.”

“Hm?”, there you go praising him again, but you were crying

“I feel like people don’t take you seriously like they should, Just because you don't fight like the others doesn’t mean that you’re not a valuable asset to the group! And I wish people saw you like how I do! You’re my inspiration to do my best everyday. And I know that I can’t be the best detective, but I want to be as strong and intelligent and brave just like you so I can save people and be a motivating hero like you!”

He’s silent, and your words are sinking in. You’re wiping away your tears, the start of an apology on the tip of your tongue, when he suddenly put his hand on top of your head

He’s staring right at you, glasses on and green eyes open for you to see

“You’re already on your way there (Y/N). That I know. And I’m never wrong with my deductions, let alone when using my ability.”

The flood gates have OPENED 

You know that he doesn’t technically have an ability, but that doesn’t stop you from accepting his words and finding them as the truth. If Ranpo said it, he meant it. He was the world’s greatest detective, and you didn’t have any doubt in him

“Now let’s go, it’s going to start raining and I don’t want us to be hungry and drenched. Plus, Kunikida is totally freaking out and thinking that we’re both lost and in some criminal’s hideout right now.”

After that fateful day, the dynamic shifted between you two. Instead of you just doing the work, he pushed it off on someone else so he could explain to you about the different cases he had to solve, and other detective matters

Really he was just bragging and having you both slack off, but it didn’t matter you guys were still having fun

It even got to a point where he shared some snacks with you from his sacred snack pile

BOY WAS THAT THE TALK OF THE OFFICE 

All in all, while he knew that you couldn’t be the greatest detective (that was his title after all), he would help you get to your goal regardless. Not that you would need a lot of extra help, he was watching over you after all, and you already have a good head on your shoulders along with the heart of a hero

Every Sherlock needs a Watson, and he deducted that it wasn’t too bad having you by his side

[kojinnie]

The Impossible Request | Levi Ackerman

Based on the request by a lovely anon here. As always, I apologize for putting a little bit of angst into what was supposed to be a full-on fluff :(

levi ackerman x reader; fluff/angst; 2032 words

Captain Levi Ackerman left you with an impossible request during your last ride to the forest with him.

Throughout the whole journey Levi kept looking at you, throwing worried glances frequently at the strange way you rode your horse through the forest. A moment ago, you were about to ride yourself and your horse to a certain death offered by a cliff by the side of the trail. If it wasn’t for your horse’s trained instinct, you’d be a tragic story of a silly death by now.

Admittedly, your focus was not on the trail of the forest hill, nor was it on the hurdles of vines and fallen branches splayed all over your pathway. Levi had to keep screaming at you to keep you from bringing your horse to an accident. Your focus was somewhere else, a distant place that a soldier must not dwell within too long. The unfamiliarity of this place caught you off-guard and as evident by the harrowing way you ride the horse, it has come to ensnare you.

As the thickness of the forest started to dissipate to an open field that overlooked the castle where Survey Corps was stationed at, Levi abruptly changed his direction and stopped your way. Your horse squealed in shock and reared up in effect, almost throwing you to the ground.

The Captain immediately jumped off the horse and darted a piercing stare at you, “Get off. Now.” The way he commanded you sent a shiver down your spine, that tone – his battlefield sternness returned, something far different than the somewhat casual Levi that you have grown to be close with during your off-duty season in the castle with him and the Corps.

It was a scarce occurrence to hear him used that tone far from the warfare. You knew he was enraged. You whimpered almost inaudibly, trying to calm your own racing heartbeat as well as to calm your horse down by patting her cheek, before climbing off of her. The Captain immediately yanked your arms and brought you to the side, under the aid of a huge willow tree whose leaves were yellowing with the arrival of Autumn.

The anger was palpable on his pale face, “Are you—” he was immediately dismayed by the surprising hike in his own tone, something that was almost unprecedented of him. The captain knew that he couldn’t let his rage overcome him. He sighed out of annoyance as he came to maintain his composure, “Are you trying to kill yourself?”

“I’m sorry, Captain.”

“You were riding like you’ve got a stick up your ass.”

“I know. Sorry—I—”

“If you want to die, then just tell me. Hange can use you up for experiments.”

“Captain, I—”

There was a momentary silence looming over the two of you. Levi waited for your response but he scoffed and walked away to the edge of the hill when another second passed with your inability to bring any form of coherence in your words. Your heart sunk in disappointment.

Levi squatted and looked afar to the castle. You could see his torso heaved; it was obvious that he was trying to pace his breath from the suppressed anger. You couldn’t bring yourself to admit of what made you so distraught. The idea that a mere emotional disappointment had led you, a trained soldier, to almost kill yourself for not being able to ride your horse right, is of something preposterous. You were ashamed and girded by guilt. As a soldier, you had let emotion distraught your aptitude.

“Tell me or don’t tell me – whatever,” Levi finally broke the silence without looking at you. Your only view of him was his heaving back, “I already knew.”

You knew of it already, but his reiteration shriveled the last hope you had that the Deployment Letter you received this morning was still bound to change, “You can’t do anything to change it?”

“No. I’m a soldier, and it’s my duty to obey,” Levi spoke. You wished you could feel even the tiniest bit of an upset in his words, but there was little to none, “you have been asked for the Garrison. Effective tomorrow. You shall no longer be here when Eren Jaeger arrives. Erwin’s decision, signed by Commander Pyxis.”

It had been three years since you were assigned to the elite Levi Squad by his own choice. Within those years as well, you had seen yourself grown seasoned by the battles alongside your entrusted Captain, as you fought the mouth of deaths countless times together. Naturally, parting apart alive would be hard for you.

People of the Walls knew him as the humanity’s strongest soldier, would they gape in knowing that humanity’s hope needed to stay humane in order to be their beacon of strength? And that was your duty for him – keeping him humane. Even if it was just to learn his meticulous way of brewing his own tea, so when he was injured and bed-ridden, he would still be aided with the warmth of his favorite drink. Even if it was just helping him tying his cravat when his hand was occupied with paper works. Even if it’s just a sleepless night with him at the library as he learned the offense strategy for the upcoming expedition. You’d done all that with no words spoken of how fond you were of him. Even when your smile arose when he finally let you massaged his strained back, or when your fingers touched the bare skin on his back when you were tending his battle scars, you were adamant to let the feelings simmer in painful silence.

In keeping him humane, you must set aside what you want of him. Your childish imagination and desire to settle with him. After all, Levi was a man unbounded, and in certain liberty shall he thrive for humanity. So, you never spoke how much your heart fluttered when he rode in full-speed to save you from the monstrous titan holding you in their grasp. The way he stayed awake, sitting by your bedside all night after a near-death incident that left you barely conscious for a week. You had sworn to bring this truth to death, but you were conscious when, out of desperation, he ran his calloused fingers through the mess of your hair, stroking your temple soft with the coarseness of his fingers as he whispered in prayer, “Please stay alive, please stay alive…” and then Levi spoke of your name, calling out to what was left of you after a bloody expedition. He called for you, not in the stern command the Captain would utter in the battlefield, but with tenderness of a man bound by grievance.

Had you grown a space in your heart to love me? Was the question that hung in your throat when you finally gained consciousness after the injury, where Petra shrieked in relief and happiness, calling out for the others, and then she said, “Welcome back. We miss you terribly. The Captain has been gaunt without you.”

The question throbbed again with simple little things he did. When he shoved more mashed potato to your empty plate, “Eat more,” he would say with more of a grunt rather than a warm suggestion; The tender pat on the back when you successfully cleared your final task; The palpable look of agitation when you returned from an impromptu hunting trip with Eld in the forest that led him wary of your whereabout for two nights – in all those moments, you wished you had the courage to ask him the question: Had you grown a space in your heart to love me? Or were you just being a good leader to your comrades?

The sun was beginning to set on the horizon. The wind breezed through the forest, blowing the yellowed leaves off of its branches, drenching the two of you in the solemn noise of Autumn. Couple of hours ago, Levi had taken you to ride to the forest to collect firewood for supplies, but even then you knew that wasn’t what you rode here for. Levi sat on the dirty ground and sighed, “Come here.” He looked at you, and softly pat the ground by his side.

Levi knew that he assumed a great deal of obligation. He wasn’t daft, he’d grown aware of the murmurs that people left on his path, ‘Look, it’s the humanity’s strongest soldier – Captain Levi Ackerman!’ then when he wasn’t so well-guarded, he’d catch the way those children look up to him with earnest amazement. Those wondrous eyes. The innocence of faultless children is the thing he had sworn to protect when he braced another expedition beyond the wall, at the expense of everything that made him humane – delicacy, tenderness, warmth, and love. But then Levi met you, and since then he began to wonder: ‘What if? What if? What if?’

Levi knew the feeling he had grown to have for you was starting to cloud his judgment when he almost broke the formation to save you from the mouth of a titan. He remembered the awful feeling of riding back to the camp, with your bloodied form on his lap, to be greeted by the discerning look of disappointment from his own comrades. Later that night, as much as the expedition was a success with minimum casualty, Erwin sat him down and bludgeoned him with the fact that negated every virtue Levi had ever stood for, “You compromised the whole formation with your rash action.”

Compromised. Rash action.

The words that had brought Levi to a prolonged regret. Who he was with you, was not the person Levi devoted his heart for. Levi knew he needed to stop. His allegiance was to humanity, to Commander Erwin Smith – and not to you.

As you sat down by his side, he finally looked at you, and smiled. So scarce of the captain, but when he did, you could feel it was genuine.

“I am going to ask you a question,” Levi said, his grey eyes darkened underneath the warm dusk, “and you don’t have to answer it right now.”

You nodded obediently.

“Do you think all this will end? To live in constant fear of death, and,” there was a momentary pause in his sentence. Uncharacteristic of him, as if he was trying to fight his own fright that was starting to nestle deep in his mind, “have ourselves carrying the last bits of humanity’s hope?”

You remained silent as he carried on, “If no, then understand that your re-assignment is a necessity. For the greater good. But if yes, that you believe that this monstrosity will all end eventually, then, I hope…”

“Yes, Captain?”

Levi looked down at the soil where your hands and his were laying side by side. There was a somber smile beginning to rise from his face. He dragged his finger to tangle with yours rather cautiously. You greeted the awkward gesture with open heart, as you slithered your fingers into his grip.

“I hope, you will have the heart to welcome me home…”

“…to you.”

The words drowned you into a deafening silence, no matter that the Autumn breeze was starting to grow stronger as the sun succumbed into the night, no matter that your heart was thumping in all kinds of inexplicable agony – all you could hear was the void of nothingness, in which no matter how close you were to him, you could feel Levi drifting away from you.

Deep down, you knew that none of this walking nightmare they called life was ever going to end. You knew that each one of you was cursed to live the life in wretched reality. You always thought that he had known of it all along, out of so many people, you thought Levi would be the one to never look forward to a future of peace, for peace was an absurd concept as long as humanity was still trapped within the Walls.

And it broke your heart to gain understanding that Levi still had hopes for it. For the unattainable peace. With you.

He had believed in a future that you thought was impossible, and with it you realized that so would be your future with him.

As the sun finally slid to its resting peace, you brought your body closer to his embrace. He brought your face closer to him, he smiled before landing a kiss on your forehead. The genuine kind, of innocence that was so strange in the world of horrors. The kind of warmth he had longed for so many nights with the thought of you. And finally, you smiled at his words, “Yes, I will.” nodding at the impossible request.

[2dmenenthusiast]

Grounded - Levi Ackerman x Reader

I had this whole thing typed out but it all got deleted cuz im an idiot so all I’ll say is that writing for Levi is hella difficicult, I hate the ending, and I hope you all enjoy. also yes there is a line from TWD in here but it fit so perfectly and it was too good to pass up okay? and I gave Hange they/them pronouns btw

(also one of my favorite fanfic writers @phen0l​ followed me and uhh I just wanna say that I’m honored?? They write amazing Levi fics and fics for other fandoms, so make sure to go check them out)

Summary: The Scouts are getting ready for the 57th expedition outside the walls, and you can’t help but let Levi know how worried you feel about the possible outcome of the mission

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings/other info: swearing, angst, death, spoilers for AOT season 1, reader has possible anxiety, reader is kept gender nuetral

No matter how many times you face them, no matter how many times you find yourself suspended in mid-air right over their gaping mouths, ready to swallow you whole, you will always have nightmares about that one fateful day in Shiganshina. The day the Colossal Titan kicked in Wall Maria and let his friends feast on the people in your district. Your friends, family, all destined to be one thing at that moment. Titan fodder. You still wonder how you made it out sometimes. How through all the commotion, a titan didn’t target you and scoop you into its mouth, effectively sealing your fate just like everyone around you. You chalked it up to luck at first before telling yourself that was bullshit. Luck didn’t have anything to do with it. Shit just happens, and there’s nothing you can do about it besides roll with the punches and try your best to survive.

The sight of your sister and father being eaten by those beasts was permanently engraved behind your eyelids, seeing flashes of their thrashing, screaming bodies whenever you close your eyes to go to sleep. In those moments, you always wondered why you survived rather than them. Your sister… she was the sweetest little thing, lighting up a room whenever she smiled and constantly greeting you at the door with a hug whenever you came back from shopping in town. You swore her laugh was all you needed to take you right out of a bad mood, reminding you that things weren’t so bad if you had someone so full of joy in your life. And your father, while he was stubborn, he made sure to take care of his family the best he could, and you were forever grateful for that. He raised you to be strong and rely on yourself because in the end, the only person you truly had on your side was you.

No one really knew about your past. Well, besides your superiors who needed to know, but other than them, your fellow cadets knew the bare minimum about your private life. Although, when they found out you were from Shiganshina, they all just automatically assumed you suffered a great loss of some kind, whether it be your family or your home. In your case, it was both. Of course, you were close with some of the other soldiers. Eld and Petra were people you considered to be good friends with, along with the rest of your captain’s squad. Though, that didn’t stop you from wanting to deck Oluo in the face whenever he got too cocky, throwing his arm around your shoulders during lunch before immediately removing it when you would elbow him in the ribs.

“Jeez, Oluo. You think you’d learn by now. What is this, the fifth, sixth time?” Petra asked, pushing a stray hand of hair behind her ear.

“Seventh,” you chimed as you brought a spoonful of soup up to your mouth.

“Aw, you’ve been keeping count. That must mean you actually like me.”

You raised an eyebrow as you looked over at him, placing the spoon back in your bowl before licking the remaining soup off of your lips. “You know this food is still steaming. Don’t make me throw it at your old ass face.”

He let out a noise of protest while the rest of the table laughed, and you snickered to yourself before shifting your gaze to meet Levi’s, his steely eyes almost piercing through you before he looked down into his cup and tuned back into the conversation his commander and squad leader Hange were having, watching as the dark liquid swirled around.

You always knew Levi to be a man of few words, but a strong sense of purpose. He wasn’t one to waste time on trivial things, always wanting to get straight to the point. He didn’t seem to be the type to waste time on feelings either, but you guessed it wasn’t any of your business. You knew he felt things. Experienced emotions and all that. You’d be stupid to think he didn’t. During training, when he’d survey your group to see how things were going, there would always be gossip when he left, your peers saying how he was cold and emotionless, but you disagreed. You had already heard the rumors of the captain being some type of underground gangster at that point, so when you really thought about it, it wasn’t unusual or weird for him to act the way he did. Something, someone, had made him that way, and that was okay. Something had affected all of you too. The world you all lived in didn’t have the time to spare you from grief or trauma.

“Cadet l/n.”

You jumped slightly at the sudden mention of your name, lifting your head to see your captain entering the mess hall with a signature cup of tea in his hand, and you gave him a lazy smile before looking back down at your own cup, the liquid having gone cold over the time you had been sitting there. Levi didn’t reprimand you for not saluting him, just silently walked over and occupied the seat across from you, looking at you with that stern gaze of his.

“You should be asleep. I won’t make training any easier for you tomorrow just because you’re tired.”

“This isn’t unusual for me, captain. Just needed something else to look at that wasn’t my bedroom wall,” you said, your voice quiet.

He slightly tilted his head as he studied you, lifting his hand to gesture around the room. “And you thought an empty mess hall would be better?”

You let out a scoff, meeting his eyes for a moment before sipping at your drink and immediately grimacing at the taste of it. “It’s better than the alternative. For now, at least.”

He didn’t respond at first, simply staring off into the distance as he let your words sink in before setting down his cup with a soft ‘clink.’ You thought that maybe if you weren’t so over everything at the moment, you wouldn’t be acting so casual with your superior, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by it. Hopefully this wouldn’t bite you in the ass later

“You’re not the first one here to experience nightmares, you know.”

“Oh, so you have this talk with all of the cadets in the middle of the night?”

“No,” he answered simply, taking another sip of his drink.

You didn’t know why, but that simple interaction had been the best one you had with another person in months. Sure, you loved the company of your friends, but talking to Levi was just so… different. Almost liberating in a way. There were things you had told him that you never told anyone else during your late-night meetings, and it got to the point where you had found yourself looking forward to talking with him. Because you knew that behind his gaze was a man that felt so much, and you knew what that was like.

“You know… I only really made it out because they were too busy eating my family.”

Levi paused at that, eyebrows slightly raised as he looked at you over his cup that was pressed to his lips. He didn’t speak at first, taking his time as he leisurely drank his tea, and you could practically feel the depth of the silence looming over the both of you like it was its own presence.

“Shit, maybe I should’ve just kept my mouth shut,” you thought, teeth digging into your bottom lip as you anxiously waited for Levi’s response.

You didn’t want him to pity you. That was never your intention. You guessed you just.... wanted someone to know what you were thinking and feeling, tired of constantly keeping it to yourself. If you got eaten by a titan one day, you’d at least want someone to know who you were. Who you really were.

“Sorry, I um…” you looked around at everything besides the man sitting in front of you, trying to find a way to fill the silence. “You probably don’t wanna hear some sob story from some cadet, I-”

“‘Some cadet?’”

Your eyes snapped over to his, mouth slightly agape before swallowing thickly. “I… Well I mean-”

“Talking like that about yourself isn’t going to change anything or make anything better. You’re not just some cadet, and I’m even willing to say that you’re not as bad as some of the shit-for-brains we have here. You came here to do the same thing everyone else is here to do. Fight for humanity. Whether your end goal is selfish or to try and relieve yourself of some guilt from the past, it doesn’t matter.” He leaned closer to you, elbows placed on the table as he pinned you with his gaze. “Every life sacrificed out there matters. So does yours, even if you don’t think it does. And it’s our job to make sure those soldiers don’t die in vain. 

You didn’t know what to say. No one had ever really talked to you like this, so how could you know how to respond? Luckily, he started speaking again so that you didn’t have to.

“Your family…  it’s a shame what happened to them. What you had to go through. But, their deaths will be avenged, and I will make damn sure of it.”

That night was the first time you cried in probably months. You thought Levi would think of you as some pathetic little soldier, trying to gain the sympathy of their captain, but he didn’t. He just placed a hand over yours and let you cry, and you remembered how you were sort of surprised by how warm he was. You remember that talk like it was only yesterday when in reality it was years ago. You and Levi didn’t talk as much as you used to, considering the fact that he was constantly busy with helping the titan shifter cadet, Eren Jaeger, and you had been recruited to squad leader, so you had your own people to deal with. But that didn’t mean you two never spoke. Whenever your paths crossed, you’d make sure to give him a little greeting, whether it was a simple wave or a “hello.” And occasionally, when you couldn’t sleep and you’d come down to the mess hall, he was there, a steaming cup of tea in front of him, and you’d talk for a few hours until you both agreed it was time to try and catch some sleep.

Now, the soldiers were getting ready for the 57th expedition, and you couldn’t shake off the bad feeling you got whenever you thought about it. Of course, every expedition was dangerous. More often than not, the scouts would come back from outside the walls with more than a few dead, and on bad days, their numbers would be cut in half. Eren was making progress, and you hoped he would be useful, but a part of you was still doubtful.

“I’m worried,” you stated, arms crossed over your chest as you stood next to Levi, watching the cadets train vigorously.

“You always worry.”

You glanced over at the man and huffed, seeing him completely focused on the soldiers before you lightly kicked your boot into the dirt. “I guess that’s kinda my thing, isn’t it? Can you blame me though? We’ve seen what Eren can do, but… he hardly has it under control. And this isn’t exactly a normal expedition.”

“Things will turn out the way they turn out. There’s nothing we can do except make sure things go the best way they can.”

You sighed. Levi was able to reassure you most of the time, but other times he did nothing to calm your nerves. It wasn’t his job to, though. His responses were straightforward, and if you didn’t like it then that was just something you had to deal with.

“Ever the optimist, Levi,” you said, a sarcastic lilt to your voice, and you smiled when he glanced at you before shaking his head.

“Hey! You’re not here to slack off. Pick up the pace before I make you all train through dinner.”

You were used to Levi giving out orders. Hell, he gave them to you all the time, but his commanding voice sent shivers down your spine at that moment.

“He’s a freaking tiny tyrant, I swear,” you heard one of the cadets mutter, and you couldn’t help but snicker as you turned your head away from your captain, covering your mouth to conceal your smile.

“Find something funny?”

You cleared your throat as you shook your head, turning to Levi with a grin and shrugging your shoulders. “Not at all, captain. Just have a little cough is all.”

“Mhm. Maybe I should make you run it off then.”

“Aw c’mon, Levi. Have a little laugh. We all need one once in a while, especially considering the day you’re all going to have tomorrow.”

He just let out a hum, and your smile slowly dropped as you looked out at the horizon, the sky painted in beautiful strokes of orange and pink. Yes, you were right, you all needed those small moments of joy in this fucked up world you lived in, but you weren’t stupid enough to believe that those moments could last forever. Sometimes you just had to face the reality of the situation you were all in, and you couldn’t help the feeling of dread that filled you as you thought about tomorrow.

“You’re overthinking. Stop it,” Levi said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You shook your head and gave him a smile that felt bittersweet. “I can’t help it sometimes. I wish I could go with you.”

“We have enough force and skill in the recruits we have for the expedition. It would be a waste to put you and your squad into it and leave you hanging with no real job to do.”

“No real job? We’d be doing what everyone else would be; killing titans and keeping Eren safe! How would we not be useful? You know for a fact that my squad and I are plenty skilled and-”

“We can’t risk more sacrifices by putting you out there. We have enough people to hopefully accomplish what we need to.”

“Then why wasn’t my squad a first choice to go beyond the walls this time? We’re more capable than most of the people here and you know it. Maybe if I talk to Erwin he’ll-”

“This wasn’t just Erwin’s decision, it was mine. And your insubordination is starting to get irritating, so I suggest you take a walk.”

You looked at Levi with widened eyes, disbelief clear on your face, and you swallowed down what you actually wanted to say before letting out a deep breath.

“Levi, I-”

“Take a walk, l/n. I don’t wanna hear about it.”

You simply blinked at him a few times, clearly upset by the way he addressed you, before letting out a scoff and walking away, your jaw and fists clenched tightly. Yes, maybe you were being a bit childish, but you refused to acknowledge that when you felt so pissed at the moment.

“I mean, how can he just treat me like that?! Just completely dismiss me and not even give me a reasonable answer! He’s so… He’s just so… Ugh!”

You groaned and rested your head in your hands as you sat across from Hange, your friend looking at you with raised brows as they idly tapped their fingers against the table.

“I mean, he is your superior, y/n.”

“But that’s not the point! Like, yeah okay, I know he’s my captain and all that, but… We’ve always just been casual with each other. We’ve never seen each other as our ranks. I still respect him and follow his orders when he gives them but…” You let out a noise of frustration and slammed your fists down on the table. “That doesn’t give him the right to just pull out the superiority card whenever it benefits him!”

Hange blinked a few times before letting out a sigh, brushing a piece of stray hair out of their face as they leaned back in their chair, shrugging their shoulders. “I mean, he said it was also his decision, right? So maybe… he’s trying to keep you safe?”

Your eyes widened almost comically, feeling heat travel up the back of your neck at the mention of the possibility that Levi was concerned about your safety. “I-I… I mean he- um.”

“Oh my, are you getting flustered, y/n? Does the thought of Levi caring about you make your heart race?” Hange asked, a playful smirk on their face.

“Stop! For the love of everything, please stop,” you whined, waving your hands in front of you as you tried to ignore how embarrassed you felt. 

Hange just laughed at you, continuing to poke fun until you threatened to not be a part of their crazy experiments anymore, to which they quickly backed off. You thought talking with Hange might make you feel better, but hours later when you were pacing in front of the door to Levi’s office, you still wanted to rip your hair out as you thought of what to say to him. Letting out a huff and straightening your posture, trying to gain some nerve, you raised your hand to knock on the door, only for it to suddenly open and reveal your captain, his cravat having come off and the first few buttons of his shirt undone.

“Your incessant pacing is driving me up the wall. What do you want?”

Oh, so he had heard you. You avoided eye-contact, reaching a hand up to rub at the back of your neck before clearing your throat to try and relieve some of the awkwardness you felt.

“Um… can I come in?”

You both stood there for a moment, Levi’s gaze traveling up and down your body before stepping aside to let you in, and you gave him a small, appreciative nod as you walked inside his office. The tension in your shoulders was almost painful, your whole body almost stiff as Levi walked in front of you to sit on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms over his chest. You didn’t know why you felt so nervous. It was only Levi, a man you had come to know for years. And while you didn’t know everything about him, you still considered you both to be somewhat close. So why were you feeling so weird right now?

“Uh… I wanted to talk about this afternoon,” you said, mindlessly fidgeting with your fingers.

Levi raised a curious brow, letting you linger in silence for a moment before letting out a soft hum. “Not sure it’s something worth talking about.”

Lips curving into a small frown, you mimicked his posture and crossed your arms, shifting your weight onto one foot. “Well, I think we left some things… unaddressed back there, and I wanna talk about it.”

He didn’t say anything, and you were starting to get pissed, your fuse short enough as it is. Your frustration finally hit its peak when he grabbed the cup of tea next to him and wordlessly took a sip, and you swore at that moment you wanted to take the cup and smash it against his head.

“Goddammit, would you stop drinking your stupid fucking tea and listen to me?!” you yelled, and you could see a flash of shock in his eyes at your outburst before he glared at you, setting his cup down.

“You wanna repeat that?”

“Oh, don’t get all fucking ‘Captain Levi’ on me. You know exactly what all of this is about. You didn’t even try to give me a reasonable explanation earlier, and I feel like I deserve one.”

“Do you? You think you deserve something for acting like this?”

“I’m not a child!”

“But I am your superior, which you seem to forget quite a lot.”

“That is such bullshit! Since when have you given two fucks about ranks when it comes to us? I follow your orders when I have to, not when you use your superiority when it’s most convenient for you.” 

Levi clicked his tongue as he got off of his desk, rounding it to sit in his chair, and your fists were clenched so tightly it was becoming almost painful, your nails digging into your palms.

“You know, you say you’re not a child, yet you constantly act like one. Throwing a fit when you don’t get your way. Sometimes I wonder why Erwin made the decision to promote you.”

Your eyes widened as you softly gasped, questioning if you heard Levi correctly, but you know you did. There was no mistaking it. You always believed that Levi knew that you were capable, that you could protect yourself. But now he made you question if he really thought those things. Did he even respect you as a soldier? After countless nights of spilling your guts to him and him reassuring you… did he think of you as just some simple-minded cadet? You felt like your heart was in your throat and tears were threatening to spill, but you just swallowed everything down and turned your head away.

“Good luck on the expedition tomorrow,” you muttered, and you were quick to leave his office and rush back to your room, tears spilling down your cheeks.

______________

When it came time for your fellow scouts to leave for the expedition in the morning, you were a bit reluctant to watch them, knowing that you’d end up automatically spotting Levi in the crowd, and the petty side of you wanted to ignore him at all costs. However, the rational side of you remembered that it wasn’t just Levi going out there, it was other soldiers as well, most of them you knew personally, and you’d be damned if you didn’t give them a proper send-off, knowing the likelihood of some of them not making it back. So, you dragged yourself out of bed and made yourself presentable, slipping on your jacket as you stepped out of your room.

“Y/n!”

You turned at the shout of your name, seeing Hange waving excitedly at you as they jogged down the hall, slowing down to walk with you.

“So? How did it go with Captain Shorty?”

You groaned and rolled your eyes, bringing your fingers up to rub at your temples to try and cease the headache you already felt coming. “I don’t even wanna talk about it.”

“Dang, that bad, huh?” Hange grimaced.

“You have no idea. I just wanna forget about it”

Hange didn’t say anything more on the topic after that, simply talking about random things with you as you walked outside to the stables. You had a bad feeling settled in your stomach ever since you woke up, but as more time passed it just got worse.

“Hange,” you muttered, the squad leader turning towards you with raised eyebrows as they held the reins to their horse.

“Uh… Please be careful out there, okay?”

Hange looked shocked for a moment before their mouth split into a wide grin, and they quickly pulled you into a tight hug, which you immediately reciprocated.

“Aw, y/n! Don’t worry about me, I’m always careful!”

“That is such a lie, but I’ll believe you anyway,” you chuckled.

Pulling away from each other, Hange mounted their horse and joined the rest of the scouts at the gate, and you went to stand at the sidelines with the rest of your peers to watch them. Your eyes immediately caught sight of a head of familiar black hair, and you felt your heart grow heavy and your chest tighten, almost wishing he would feel your gaze and look over at you. But he didn’t and with Erwin’s war-cry, they charged through the open gate, the horses kicking up dirt and dust, and you only got a glance at their retreating figures before the gate was closed again.

______________

Every minute that ticked by felt like hours. You didn’t know how long they would be gone, the time usually spent outside the walls ranging from a few hours to a few days. You hoped it was the former, knowing that the longer they were out there, the more likely they were to get killed. You knew your comrades were skilled, having been outside the walls with them and seen their skills up close, but that didn’t stop you from worrying. Now with the Eren being a titan shifter and a traitor in your midst, anything could happen.

You almost didn’t acknowledge the shouting of your fellow soldiers that afternoon, too focused on taking care of some of the horses in the stables. But when you finally heard it, you quickly stopped what you were doing and ran to the gate. They were back. Adrenaline coursed through you as your heart pounded like a drum against your chest, and when you finally caught sight of the returning scouts, you immediately stopped in your tracks. The look on their faces was one of defeat, and you could already tell just by looking at them that not all of them made it back. When you spotted Hange, you felt some relief wash over you and you quickly made your way over to them, walking beside their horse.

“Hange, what happened? Was the mission successful?”

Hange didn’t answer, a blank look on their face, which was identical to the expressions on all of the other soldier’s faces. It was a bad day, that much you could tell, and you made brief eye-contact with Levi before looking for your friends. Only… you couldn’t see them. Turning around frantically, you spotted Eren laying in a cart and ran over, jumping in beside him as you glanced at his hand clutching Mikasa’s. He looked even worse than everyone else did. No, loss was never easy, but Eren was just a kid, and experiencing so much of it at his age must have been devastating for him, especially when he was so passionate about saving humanity.

“Eren, tell me what happened. Who… Who did we lose?” you asked.

You didn’t even know if you wanted to know the answer, seeing Eren so broken and torn up already told you that what happened out there wasn’t good, but when was it ever? The boy had tears falling down his cheeks, trying to keep his sobs quiet, and Mikasa just looked at you with narrowed eyes.

“Y/n, I don’t think right now’s a good time-”

“Please!” You gripped the cape that was laid over top of Eren, eyes focussed on the blue and white wings embroidered on the back and you sniffled as you tried to hold back the tears that were desperately trying to come out. “I… I need to know. Please, Eren…”

He stared at you with wide eyes, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed before letting out a shuddered breath. “They… We were after the female titan and she… I couldn’t save them, y/n. They died protecting me!”

Your face seemed void of any emotion as Eren’s words sunk in, piercing your heart like a million knives, and all you did was nod silently before jumping out of the cart, your mind going on autopilot as you walked. You didn’t need him to explain who he was talking about for you to already put the pieces together. Levi had told you that Eren was going to be a part of his squad so that he could keep an eye on him, and his squad was in charge of protecting him. He had become humanity’s number one asset after all. Civilians were shouting at all of you, cursing at you and hurling insults at your face. You weren’t even one of the scouts on the expedition, but that didn’t matter. As long as you wore the wings of freedom on your back, you were a bastard like the rest of them. No more, no less.

You had stumbled too close to the crowd, too preoccupied with your thoughts to even notice, until a large man gripped your shoulders and pushed you in front of the horses, your body landing harshly in the dirt as some of the people laughed at you. You heard someone shout your name, but it sounded distant to you, everyone’s drowned out underneath the roaring of your thoughts. You shifted yourself onto your hands and knees, only to look up and see Hange crouched down in front of you, a concerned expression on their face.

“Y/n, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

There was a ringing in your ears as you looked at them, trying desperately to just get a grip.

The dirt under my hands, the dryness in my mouth, the shouts of the citizens, the musty smell of the horses… Hange right in front of me.

“I’m fine. I… I’m fine.”

The single tear slipping down your cheek went unnoticed by you, but it was one of the things that let Hange know that you were lying. That you weren’t fine. Reaching out to wipe the tear away Hange shook their head.

“Y/n-”

“I’ll see you later, okay?”

Giving Hange a tight-lipped smile, you picked yourself up off the ground and made your way back to the Scout’s headquarters, feeling everyone’s eyes on your back, and you couldn’t help but wonder if Levi was watching you too.

______________

You didn’t keep track of how long you cried that day, keeping yourself locked in your room and sobbing until your body physically couldn’t produce any more tears. The last time you cried this much was when your family died, same thing could be said when you thought about the last time you felt this way. Like all hope was lost. You found yourself questioning what the point of all of this was for a moment before you quickly slapped yourself out of that thought. You knew why you had to do this, why the Survey Corps was important. But shit, all this loss? You didn’t know how much more you could take. Especially if days like today became more frequent.

Then you got to thinking about Levi and the stupid argument you had yesterday. At the time, you felt like your feelings were justified, and maybe they were, but now you felt like a complete idiot for arguing with him, especially the day before an expedition where it was one hundred percent possible that he could’ve died out there. The thought of your last interaction being some petty argument made more tears fall, and you gripped the sheets of your bed so tightly that you thought they might rip. Did he even want to speak to you now? Maybe he realized that you were just some immature little soldier and wanted nothing to do with you.

No, you couldn’t accept that. You wouldn’t. Standing from your bed, you harshly wiped at your eyes and sniffled, trying to look like you weren’t crying for hours on end - even though it was pointless, you knew Levi would be able to tell immediately - and exited your room to start making your way to Levi’s office. Your nerves were kicked into high gear, but you refused to let this man intimidate you. You were going to let him know how you felt and he was going to listen. Of course, your confidence immediately deflated when you found yourself standing in front of his door, but you swallowed down your nerves and knocked, taking a deep breath.

Levi’s muffled voice came from the other side of the door, telling you to come in, and you let out a small huff as you gripped the doorknob and let yourself in. He didn’t even look up from the paperwork in front of him when you walked in, and as the door closed behind you and you moved to stand in front of his desk with your hands held behind your back, you lightly cleared your throat to get his attention. His eyes flickered up to meet yours, and you could feel yourself shrink under his gaze. There was no doubt he saw what happened earlier today when they came back, and from the way he was examining you, you knew he could easily tell that you had been crying.

“Did you need me?” he asked, and you sharply inhaled at the sound of his voice. It felt like forever since he talked to you last, and hearing him speak made your stomach do flips.

“Uh… I don’t know, honestly. I didn’t really practice what I was going to say before I came in here.”

He raised a brow at you. “‘Practice?’”

“I mean, it’s kinda hard to talk to you. Not that that’s a bad thing, it’s just… Ah shit, I don’t know. It might just be me. I’m not the best at articulating, you know?”

He hummed and grabbed his cup as you let out a sigh, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk and leaning your elbows on your knees, bouncing your leg. Taking your bottom lip between your teeth, you wordlessly gazed at him for a moment, a made-up image of his death flashing in your mind before you shook your head and ran your hand down your face.

“Look, um… I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for yesterday. For questioning your judgment when I should’ve just dealt with it. You’re my superior and I disrespected you so… Again, I’m sorry.”

Silence fell between you for a moment before he let out a sigh, setting down his cup before leaning his chin against his propped up hand. “Don’t apologize. You were right.”

Your eyes widened. Did you hear that correctly? “Uh, I’m sorry?”

Getting up from his seat, he rounded his desk to stand in front of you, and you were even more confused. You swore he would’ve been done with you by now.

“You said you and your squad were more than capable of handling the mission. You were right. Or at least, you were right at the time. The female titan would’ve wiped us all out if she wanted to, just like she did my squad. I don’t doubt that if you went after her, you’d be dead right now too.”

You stiffened slightly at his words, fingers gripping your knees as you let out the breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in. “Oh.”

“As captain, I’m supposed to remain unbiased. My decisions should be based on the greater good of humanity and my comrades. If my judgment is wrong, then that’s something I have to live with. Making my squad protect Eren was my decision, and they died.” He let out a long breath. “When Erwin decided to not bring you on the expedition, I was opposed to it at first. I knew that you and your squad would be able to aid us greatly, but I couldn’t sway him. However, now that I think about it, I’m glad you weren’t there.”

You were at a loss for words. When Hange had joked the other day about Levi caring about you, you didn’t take it seriously. But now that you were hearing all of this… Did he care for you? Or was it just your wishful thinking that was causing you to interpret things wrong? Slowly standing up, you briefly met his gaze before walking over to the window and looking out at the night sky, the sun having gone down a while ago, and you wrapped your arms around yourself as you tried to piece together what you wanted to say to him.

“Even if you think I was right, I’m still sorry. I don’t like arguing, especially with you. And the fact that you had to go on an expedition the next day…” You swallowed thickly. “I was scared. I know you say that there’s no use regretting the decisions we’ve made, but if you died out there today and a stupid argument was the last interaction we ever had, I would’ve regretted it every day of my life.” You turned to face him, eyes glossing over. “I would’ve beat myself up when I know you’d want me to continue to be strong. But I feel like I can’t do that without you, and I feel so weak and stupid for saying that. For feeling like the only thing that gives me hope in this godforsaken world is you.”

Levi remained silent, not that you expected him to say anything, and you sniffled as you reached up to wipe at your teary eyes before sighing and giving him a sad smile.

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t wanna hear some silly confession. I’ll let you get back to your business,” you said, walking past Levi to get to the door, but you didn’t make it that far when his hand suddenly shot out and gripped your arm, causing you to turn back and look at him.

“Why do you always do that?”

Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“You never take yourself seriously and act like the people around you don’t either. You’re self-deprecating. You did the same thing when I found you in the mess hall years ago. Why?”

“I… I don’t know, I guess I just get nervous around you.”

“Why?”

Your mouth felt dry suddenly, and your heart was racing as Levi’s grip on your arm tightened and he pulled you closer. “Because… I want to be strong in front of you. I don’t want you to see me as someone immature and incapable, and I’m scared of embarrassing myself in front of you.”

“Did you find your confession embarrassing? Do you want me to forget about it?”

“If you want to.”

“Mm. And what if I don’t?”

You let out a shuddered breath, eyes flitting down to his lips for a moment. “Then what will you do about it?”

Neither of you moved at first, your gaze not leaving one another, and you felt like your heart was about to beat out of your chest, it was going so fast. You wondered if Levi was experiencing the same feeling. Wondered if underneath that stoic, calm expression, his blood was pumping in his ears and his pulse was going crazy. You were waiting for him to do something, anything, as he stared at you with an almost challenging look. It made anger flare up in you for some reason, and you clenched your jaw as you narrowed your eyes. 

No, I won’t let this get away from me.

Reaching up, your hand grabbed at his cravat, yanking him forward into an almost desperate kiss that had your mind reeling. His brows were scrunched up, body tense, before finally relaxing, and you could feel him almost melt into you as he brought both of his hands up to hold your face, eagerly responding. Your frustration had been building up ever since your fight, and you felt like you were both letting it all out now, each kiss hungry and rushed, barely able to pull your faces away before one of you was pulling the other one in again.

“Fuck, I can’t stand you sometimes,” you breathed out between kisses, fingers weaving into Levi’s dark locks and lightly tugging, causing him to let out a soft groan against your lips.

“Stop talking.”

You don’t know when the anxiety started bubbling in your stomach or why your heart felt like it was about to jump out of your throat, all you knew was that every sensation was suddenly overwhelming. Levi’s hands, his lips, his breath against your face, it was all too much. You were suddenly pushing him away, tears quickly building up behind your eyes as you panted for breath. Whether it be from the desperateness of your kisses, or the constricting of your chest, you didn’t know. You just knew that everything was suddenly hitting you at once, and you couldn't get a grasp on how to deal with it.

“Y/n…”

Right, Levi was still here, and he looked at you with a hand slightly reached out, waiting for you to meet him halfway. You hesitated, staring at his hand like you were trying to see through it, before eventually grabbing it, and he slowly pulled you into his chest. Your arms were limp at your sides, silent tears streaming down your face as Levi held you.

“They’d be proud of you, y/n. You know that.”

You felt like you had been falling all of your life, nothing to stop you, nothing to hold onto as you plummeted through an endless abyss. But now, as you brought your hands up to grip the back of Levi’s jacket and sobbed into his shoulder, for once, you felt like your feet had finally found the ground.

[sasarahsunshine]

Criminal Obsession | Prologue

Warnings: Rated M for Mature. Murder, drugs, alcohol, sex, swearing, the whole shebang. 

A/N: I’m finally getting around to my mafia!AU for Criminal Minds! I’m very excited, because unlike my other fics where I write whatever comes to mind, this one is actually planned out. I’m already almost done with chapter 3, and I hope to have an upload schedule for this one. We’ll see! This is a HotchReid fic.

You can also read this on AO3.

----------

The leader of America’s largest Crime Ring is lonely. He’s surrounded by his friends; people who he trusts with his life. He has his son. But he's lacking something more meaningful in his life. He’s lacking companionship. After the death of his wife a year ago, maybe it’s time to find someone new?

How did he end up there? Standing at the top of a marble staircase, blood splattered across his face as he watched his first kill tumble and roll to a stop on the red carpet below, eyes vacant of life. Nothing but the echoes of their dying breaths in his ears, a memory he won’t ever forget. Their blood drips from the knife in his shaking hand, his grip tightening. He’s only 14 years old. Only 14.

A pat on his shoulder, a glint in his father’s eye, a pearly white smile. “You did well, son.”

You did well. 

He did well. 

He didn’t feel well.

He spun around, vomiting over the railing to the floor below. Just another mess for the Help to clean, he thought glumly. That wasn’t his intention. 

The cold hand on his shoulder gripped him tighter, malice in the voice which only seconds before was praising him, “You’re weak! I am so ashamed to have you as a son! You can’t even handle a little blood on your hands- how do you expect to survive in this world if you can’t even defend yourself in a fight? Pathetic.”

Ten years later, he thought over those words as he twisted the knife in his father’s gut, making sure to watch the light fade from his eyes. His father coughed, blood seeping from his blue lips, “Why?” He asked, his voice a whisper. He leaned closer, humming into the old man’s ear, “Not so pathetic now, am I, father?”

Twenty years later, on the anniversary of his father’s untimely death, he sits at his desk, his throne, and nurses a glass of the finest whiskey. It tastes like shit. Like every other alcohol that’s touched his tongue throughout his life. But it gets him drunk, and it burns his throat in the way he needs. 

His suit is black, form-fitted, custom-made. His fingers tap an unknown beat on aged oak, his eyes set on the door. His office is enormous. Practically a library. But as he stares, it begins to feel smaller. The walls close in on him, his lungs aching for the oxygen he is being deprived of. He could open the window. But that would require him to turn around. So instead, he sits, he drinks, and he stares. 

He’s very aware of who is on the other side. He knows what they want. He waits for them.

And, eventually, the door opens, creaking on old hinges as it’s pushed open with little care. The man who saunters in is not who he was expecting, and he finds himself allowing the smallest twitch of a smile to grace his lips. 

He is thankful, for this man is his friend. He is thankful, for this man is his left-hand. He is charismatic. Charming. A breath of fresh air after the week he’s had. 

There’s a twinkle in his eyes as he takes a seat in the chair opposite of the desk, one leg going over the other as he leans back. He chuckles, running his hand over his shaved head. There’s dried blood speckled on his knuckles, on his disheveled button-up. The top two buttons are undone, and his tie is nowhere to be seen. There’s a brief moment where he wonders where the tie and jacket had gone to, seeing as his friend was wearing them both earlier in the day. 

“You don’t need to worry about the threat anymore,” his left-hand says, flashing his white teeth in a smile that reveals small dimples. He pulls out a pocketknife, flipping it once in his hand before setting it on the desk, offering it as a gift. It’s covered in blood. The blood is going to stain the old oak of the desk.

“You’re sure?” He asks, finally setting his now empty whiskey glass down on a coaster. He can’t help as his eyes flitted behind his friend, taking in the large hallway behind him. A dead man is being dragged away by someone in a black suit, blood smearing on the floor behind him. “There was only one?”

“There were two,” he replies, holding up two fingers, “The first was in the kitchen. But don’t worry, I made sure they were the only ones. You’re safe. Jack’s safe.”

He allowed a sigh to escape. He didn’t need to be as stoic, as stern, in front of the left-hand; he knew that. He could finally relax. The room didn’t feel so small anymore. He could breathe again.

Sitting up a little, the vertebrae in his back cracking as he did, he nodded his head once, “Thank you, Morgan.”

“No problem, Hotch,” Morgan replied with a grin, “I had fun doing it.”

I’m sure, Hotch thought to himself. If anyone liked beating people to death, it was Morgan. That was probably why he discarded his jacket. Beating was messier than just shooting someone. He could never understand the so-called thrill of being covered in blood. He’d rather stand further away and just shoot someone between the eyes. Cleaner. Colder. Easier.

“Feel free to take the rest of the day off,” he replied, finally turning his chair around to look out the window at his expansive property, “But I want two men posted with Jack for the rest of the day. Just in case.”

“Right, boss,” Morgan said. Hotch could hear him stand and leave, not closing the door behind him. How irritating. Typically he would have called after him, but instead, he stayed silent, watching the soft breeze blow fallen leaves around in the yard. There weren’t that many yet, as it was only September, but the colder months were fast approaching. It wouldn’t be long before the auction season starts again. 

“Door’s open,” he said as footsteps approached. He hated when people knocked. Turning his chair around, he found himself looking at the last person he wanted to see. He sighed, running his hand through his hair, “What?”

“What do you mean, ‘what?’” The older man scoffed, walking into the office with an air of confidence. His hair was greying, salt and pepper sprinkled in his beard. He arched an eyebrow, “I was just told that there were only two assassins in here this year. Are you sure that’s the end of it? It’s only 2pm, you know.”

Hotch drummed his fingers on his desk, scowling, “Morgan said that was it. He double-checked the property. But if you’re so concerned, Dave, why don’t you just make yourself at home here in my office? Be my babysitter?”

Dave smirked, sitting down in the authentic leather seat with a chuckle, “Why, thank you, Aaron. I think I will.” 

Hotch rolled his eyes, pulled the bottle of whiskey from his cabinet, and poured it into his glass. Dave procured another glass from somewhere, holding it out for Hotch to fill. He did so, but not without shooting his oldest and dearest friend a glare of disapproval. Dave was the only person who could get away with such blatant disrespect. And he knew it, too. That was why he did what he did so regularly: getting on Hotch’s nerves. 

The two allowed silence to fall over them as they sipped on their alcohol, Dave smirking at the furrowed brow of Hotch when he tasted the burn. They shared several minutes like this, enjoying the quiet. Their lives weren’t often slow, so when it was, it was nice. 

Perhaps ten minutes passed, maybe a little more, before Dave spoke, his eyes studying the swaying oak tree outside the window, “Have you gone to see Sean and Haley yet?”

Hotch peered over the rim of his glass at him, frowning, “No. My priority was making sure Jack was safe.”

“Yes, I know that. But normally, you would have gone by now. What is really keeping you locked in your office?”

Hotch scoffed. Damn Dave and his ability to read people. He shrugged his shoulders, his fingers once again drumming along the table. He chose not to dignify his friend with an answer. He decided to stay silent. 

David sighed, leaning forward a little, “Is it because today isn’t just your father’s death-versary?” The use of that word was one only the two of them shared. 

Hotch’s frown deepened as he stared at the whiskey in his glass. Thirty years ago, he killed someone for the first time. Twenty years ago, he killed his father. Ten years ago, his brother was murdered in retaliation. One year ago, his wife was murdered. He was not going to allow this year to be the year his son was taken from him too.

He didn’t need to say anything. David nodded in understanding, a thoughtful look to his eyes. He let a beat of silence fall between them before he spoke again, “It’s been a year since Haley. And longer since you two were intimate-”

“Dave,” Hotch warned, his eyes growing dark as he glanced at his right-hand man. David shrugged, choosing to continue speaking anyhow. He could get away with it. He was the only one who could. “All I’m saying, is that you can’t hide your loneliness from me. It was there before she died, and it’s there now.”

“I won’t bring anyone else into my life who can be ripped away just as quickly,” Hotch responded, setting his glass down. He no longer wanted alcohol. He wanted to punch someone. Probably Dave. 

“Since last year, your empire has doubled!” Dave argued, leaning forward with interest, “And with that, so has your personal guard! Nobody is going to touch you, Jack, or anyone else you might find love with. Aaron, please, I’m begging you, you’re a miserable old man who is letting your emotions control your business sense.”

“My business sense? Old man? Watch it, Dave, you’re older than me,” Hotch scoffed, rolling his eyes, “And since when has my empire growing been a bad thing?”

“I’m not saying it is,” Dave countered, “But don’t you want someone to share your wealth with?”

Hotch let his shoulders slump a little as he leaned back, swiveling his chair from right to left, “I’ve had plenty of women to spoil in the last year-”

“Not escorts,” Dave scolded, “someone more permanent. Someone you can have hanging off your every word when you speak. Someone to take with you to the galas and the auctions. Someone like Haley used to be for you.”

Hotch was about to retort, but the echoing of little feet running down the marble-laid hallway broke his concentration. He smiled as his son came barreling into the office, dark hair wild and unkempt, giggles and squeals coming from him as his nanny was on his heels. Her face was that of exasperation, but she smiled at her boss upon seeing him, “Sorry, sir,” she said as Jack climbed into his father’s lap, wrapping his little arms around his neck and shouting, “Daddy! For Halloween this year, I want to be Spiderman!”

Dave chuckled. Hotch widened his eyes, “Oh yeah, buddy? Why do you want to be Spiderman?” Jack leaned in and whispered into his father’s ear, “‘Cause we just watched Spiderman, and he can swing from webs in the air. Kinda like when we’re in the ‘copter ‘cept he doesn’t need a ‘copter! He can just do that!”

Hotch smiled, planting a kiss on his son’s forehead, “Wow, that sounds super cool, buddy. Halloween is still almost two months away, though, so you have time to think about it if you want to change your mind.”

“Nope!” Jack shook his head proudly, “I’m going to be Spiderman!” He then turned and smiled wide at Dave, his front two teeth missing, “Uncle Dave! What are you going to be for Halloween?”

David laughed, setting his glass down and leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, “I don’t know yet, kiddo. Maybe I’ll be Superman.”

“You can’t be Superman,” Jack scrunched up his nose. 

“Oh? Why’s that?” David asked, peering from him to Hotch then back. 

“Cause daddy’s Superman,” Jack said matter-of-factly. His nanny gave a tight-lipped smile at that, “That’s right, Jack,” she said. Hotch just smiled warmly at his son before picking him up and setting him down on the floor, “Well, Superman is still very busy right now,” he said, “so why don’t you go with Miss Clara and finish up your schoolwork, okay? I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Okay,” Jack nodded, smiling back at Miss Clara, “I only have some coloring left!” He declared. Miss Clara nodded, “Yep, so let’s go back to that, okay?” She looked up at Hotch, “Sorry again. He was just so excited to tell you.”

“It’s fine,” Hotch waved her off, watching her and his son hurry back down the hall. Thank goodness the Help was quick at cleaning up the bloody mess Morgan has left behind. He didn’t need Jack seeing that. He was only five. 

Dave chuckled to himself, shaking his head a little, “Don’t think our conversation is over, Aaron,” he warned, “I’m not done trying to convince you to find a good woman to love.” 

Hotch frowned. Of course, Dave wouldn’t drop it. He sighed and rolled his eyes, standing from his chair for the first time all day. His knees protested. “I don’t really have time to date, if you haven’t noticed.”

“Then pay for a girlfriend.”

“But you said no escorts,” Hotch knitted his eyebrows in confusion. 

“Not escorts,” David used his hands for emphasis, “But what about a Sugar Baby?”

“A what?”

It was Dave’s turn to roll his eyes, “Oi, you’re younger than me, and you don’t know what a Sugar Baby is? Jesus Aaron, you haven’t been out of the game that long, have you?”

Hotch made a pointed look at Dave, expecting an explanation, not a taunting tone. Dave sighed, “Sugar Babies are girls who are paid for sex, but long-term. And not always with cash, although some take a certain amount upfront. They get spoiled by their Sugar Daddies with gifts, dinners, money, cars, whatever it is they want. A girlfriend you pay for. Someone to be your arm-candy at events. Someone to keep you company and to get your rocks off so you’ll stop being such an ass.”

Hotch scowled a little, leaning against his desk, his hands folded in his lap, “How is that different than an escort?” He was tense.

“Escorts are temporary. You fuck ‘em and dump ‘em,” Dave shrugged. Hotch furrowed his brow at his friend’s language. After a beat of silence, he exhaled, “That isn’t exactly a true girlfriend, either,” he pointed out. 

Dave stood up, pulling a cigar out of the pocket on the inside of his suit jacket, “But it’s a step closer. Plus, you can shop around until you find one you like. You got money, Aaron. Might as well spend it.” He lit the cigar before inhaling on it deeply, blowing the expensive spice-scented smoke into the air. Hotch hated when he smoked inside. 

He waved his hand in a motion to tell Dave to leave. Dave shrugged again, “Think about it, Aaron. I bet Penelope could put her feelers out there for you.”

“I can’t bring anyone in here,” Hotch warned, “With the business and all.”

“That’s why you have Penelope check them all out first. I’m sure there’s plenty of bad girls out there who have been Babies for other Crime Lords.”

Hotch flinched. He didn’t like being compared to other “Crime Lords.” He wasn’t like them. He didn’t deal in people. He didn’t murder for fun. He did what he needed to survive. This was survival, nothing more. Even though it was illegal. 

Dave started walking out, waving his hand in farewell, “Think about it,” he said again, his smoke following him.

Hotch scoffed, going back to his desk and pulling out a file. He glanced it over, sitting down slowly. Financial reports from the last year. Boring. 

He couldn’t help his mind from wandering a little, debating on the idea of a ‘Sugar Baby.’ A girl that had to be interested in what he said, what he did. Someone to wear extravagant dresses that he bought for them, custom-made, tailored to their body perfectly. Someone to hang off his arm at every event of the year. Many were coming up. The amount, he wasn’t sure, but he would have to ask Penelope. She would know. 

Maybe it would be nice to have someone pay attention to him again. Someone to have in his bed for longer than one night, even if it was a paid arrangement. 

His eyes flickered to the phone on his desk. 

He hadn’t wanted a girlfriend before now because he couldn’t fathom the idea of even finding one. His life was too busy. If he wasn’t at an event in New York, he was in D.C. or Vegas. He just didn’t have the time. The only eligible woman on the property was his son’s nanny, and even though she was pretty, she was not his type. 

But, if he could skip the formalities? If he could just have someone there for him without needing to date them first?

He picked up the receiver and dialed. After a beat, Penelope answered on the other end, “Yes, sir?”

“Garcia,” he started, “I need you to look into something for me.”

[that-one-jasper]

Optimus Prime X Ignored! Reader

(Takes place during season 3.)

Regular P.o.V (At the Base)

You sat quietly in the base, reading a book and minding your own business. Miko, Raf, and Jack were all watching T.V on the human loft along with Bee, who had joined them not too long ago. You didn't want to watch the T.V show, however, and just decided to read. Everyone seemed to be busy as, Ratchet and Smokescreen were doing their own thing, Wheeljack was out doing patrol, while Bulkhead, Arcee, Ultra Magnus and Optimus were all out on a mission. You'd be lying if you say you didn't have a small crush on the Prime, and it was more than easy to keep it hidden from everyone.    That was because from how quiet you were and with the fact that you may have accidentally helped Megatron locate the old base, they'd usually forget you were there, which you assumed was happening now, as Smokescreen almost accidentally stepped on you.      "Could you please watch where you step? You almost squished me." You spoke, though your words fell on def ears. Smokescreen had just continued walking, not even noticing you were there. You frowned and crossed your arms, then decided to just go watch T.V with the others. Nothing was really the same after being rescued from the Decepticons, everyone just seemed to hold a grudge against you except for Optimus and Ratchet, but even they have been a little distant.

      Walking up the stairs, you smiled a small bit and sat down on the couch. "What're we watching?" You asked, looking over to Miko who didn't even glance at you. Your smile faltered, and you looked over at Jack, who was fixated on his phone. "Jack?" You questioned, but still not getting a response. Frowning, you looked over at Raf and Bee who were looking at whatever was on Raf's computer. "Guys?" You spoke, looking over at them. No one gave you a response, which ticked you off. You were apart of this team too, but if no one bothered to even glance at you, maybe they thought differently.  You walked back down the stairs, and towards one of the exits. If they didn't want to even acknowledge you, than they wouldn't notice you leaving.      However, just as you were about to leave, the ground bridge had opened up, signaling that Optimus and the others have returned.     You didn't care though and kept on walking towards the door, already fed up with the other's behavior. You didn't even bother moving out of the way when Wheeljack came into the base, barely missing you. "Hey! Watch where you're walkin' kid!" He shouted, swerving so he wouldn't hit you. You didn't react, and just kept on walking, not even bothered by the shocked looks everyone was giving you and kept on walking until you were out of the base.

---With the Others---        "What's her problem?" Smokescreen asked, looking off in the direction you left in. "Who're you talking about?" Miko asked, turning her attention away from the T.V. "I'm talking about Y/n, of course! Who else would I be talking about?" Miko just shrugged her shoulders and gave him a bored look. "Did anything happen while we were gone?" Arcee spoke, looking over at the three humans. "I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention." Jack replied, looking back down to his phone. Optimus looked over at Ratchet, and was about to say something when the medic stopped him before he could. "Don't look at me, I wasn't aware she was in a bad mood." He defended, before turning around again and getting back to work. The Prime sighed, and looked at the group.     "I have noticed some tensions between us, and Y/n." He began, everyone giving him their attention. "I would like to know why, and how we can solve it." He ended, speaking calmly. "It's because she helped Magatron! How do you think he located the old base?" Miko answered, crossing her arms and flopping back onto the couch. "Are we all still upset about that?" Ratchet asked in a stern voice. "It's done and over with." The Prime nodded. "We should not hold grudges, especially against one who has lost too much." Everyone gave him confused glances. " What do you mean Optimus?" Bulkhead questioned, looking up at the leader. "I do not believe it is in my place to tell, and I think it best if we let Y/n tell us herself, when she comes back to the Base." "How long will that be?" Wheeljack asked, still a little annoyed about almost hitting you.  "It might be awhile, so we'll have to be patient." Prime replied, looking towards the exit.

----Time Skip (3 Hours later)----

     It had been a few hours since you left, and you have not went back yet. Unknown to you, everyone was starting to get a little worried about where you were, though, you didn't think they'd care. You just decided that it'd be best off if you avoided all the bots and humans for awhile, so you had gone to a secret place that only you were aware of.      The place was a nice little cave, and at the back of it was a small waterfall, which you enjoyed. It was calm and peaceful, and, no one could ignore you if there wasn't anyone else there. There was a small hole where you could climb in and end up behind the waterfall, which was usually where you stayed while you where in the cave.    As you crawled in behind the waterfall, you sat with your knees up to your chest. 'It's not fair how they treat me..' You thought, a blank expression on your face. You wanted to go back to the Base, you really did, but what good would it do you if you were just ignored again? You were pretty sure that the only bots that would miss or notice your absence was Ratchet or Optimus, seeing as they were the only two who were seemingly concerned about your well-being.   "And you are certain you saw the human come in here?" A loud voice echoed. Your head shot up, and behind the waterfall, you could make out the figures of Megatron, along with Starscream. "I am certain, my Lord." You froze in fear, and backed up as much as you could without making any noise. "Then where is it?" The warlord demanded, a scowl across his faceplate.  The seeker just smirked, walked closer to the waterfall and reached a large servo through the hole you had entered through, and snatched you out of your tiny hiding spot. "Good. We can leave her with Knockout. I'm sure he can handle that without screwing up." Megatron began walking the way out of the cave, Starscream carrying you close behind the former gladiator.

---Back at Base--

   You still haven't returned and Optimus was getting a little bit concerned. "Optimus, have you heard anything from Y/n?" Ratchet asked, looking away from one of his current tools. "No, not yet. I have a grave feeling, however." The Prime answered. "Maybe we should look for her, y'now, just in case the Decepticons have her." Jack suggested, looking up from the video game he was playing with Raf.     "I still don't think we can trust her!" Miko argued. "Miko, you need to understand that the Decepticons  locating the old Base wasn't Y/n's fault." Bulkhead spoke, looking down at the human. "And like Optimus said, she's been through a lot and we shouldn't hold grudges." Raf added on, also looking up from the video game. "Yeah, yeah," Miko grumbled sarcastically. "Do you really think it was Y/n's fault that the Decepticons forced her to say where it was?" Arcee added, walking up to the small group. "They would've found out anyway, with their 'fortress' being right next to us and all." Miko still shook her head. "Miko, I think maybe just you're stressed. Why don't you go for a ride with Bulkhead?" Raf suggested, putting the game controller down.   The girl sighed, and nodded her head. "Fine. But I don't think a drive could help." She replied, walking down the stairs of the Human loft and getting into Bulkhead's Alt mode and driving out of the Base.

A few minutes later, the Autobots got a message. "Who is it?" Wheeljack questioned, walking up to the Medic who was intently staring at the screen. "Megatron.." The medic replied, a scowl clear on his features. Everyone in the room seemed to stop what they were doing and listened in on what the Warlord had to say.   "What do you want, Megatron?" Optimus questioned, in his usual calm voice. "Well, I believe I have something that you may want." He smirked, and showed you up to the screen. "Y/n!?" The bots shout in disbelief.

----On the Nemisis, Your P.O.V (Idk if I spelt that right.)---

    Megatron held me up to the screen, and I waved sheepishly. "Hi.." I say quietly, terrified of the warlord. "Why do you have her?" Prime asked, seemingly glaring daggers at the gray bot. "Oh, well she wasn't with you. And, she's seemed to have warmed up to Knockout." He told, pulling up security footage of you and Knockout talking and laughing after you were dropped off.   All the Autobots had shocked faces, and no one said anything until Wheeljack piped up.                     "Maybe we shouldn't of trusted her." It was dead silent. You were holding back tears, not believing what was happening. "Y/n?..." Prime's voice was soft, but still a little stern. "It's not my fault.." You start, gaining confidence. "it's not my fault everyone ignored me there. You all treated me like I was some outcast-a monster! I have done nothing wrong to deserve that! No one wanted to hear me, my opinions or thoughts! You all thought I was a traitor! You guys were everything that I had left! I had no one else!" You screamed, tears running down you cheeks.   Megatron merely chuckled, and looked at Optimus directly in the optics. "Maybe you should've cared more for your pet, Optimus. Too bad she won't live long enough for you to do so." He sneered, his red optics glowing intently. "If you want her, come to these coordinates and come alone." Was all he said and closed the call, and setting you back in the servos of Knockout, who was sitting quietly behind the Warlord.   "It's not fair.." You whimpered, wiping your eyes. Knockout sighed, and began walking towards the Med bay. "Nothing truly is fair, dear."

---Back at Base---

"She's with the Decepticons now.."     "We just lost a great member.."    "We need to go after her."     Comments from everyone filled in the dense silence, but the Autobot Leader never spoke a word. "What are we gonna do Optimus?" Smokescreen asked, his voice full of concern. "I'm not entirely sure, Smokescreen." The Prime replied, getting more concerned by the second.   Why would you willingly warm up to a Decepticon so easily? Has he really treated you like you were an outcast? "But I hope you all do see the consequences of your actions." The Prime said, looking down on his team. "However I will not deny, that I too, have been ignoring Y/n these past few days." He admitted, as a little twinge of sadness and guilt hit him. "Ratchet, please activate the ground bridge to the coordinates." He looked over to the medic, who was hesitantly typing in the coordinates. "You can't go alone Optimus, it's too dangerous." Arcee spoke, concerned for their leader. "I know. But we need Y/n back safe at the base. If anything does happen, I will call for a ground bridge and back up." He told, looking at the other bots in the base.

     The ground bridge started up, and Optimus walked through, blasters activated in case. The Autobot leader walked through the portal as it closed, and saw Megatron, you, and Knockout. "Ah, Optimus. Glad you could make it." Megatron chuckled, and looked over at Knockout. "I suppose you would like to give Prime back his pet?"    Knockout looked up from talking to you, and smirked. "Well, no not really my leige. I have grown rather fond of her." Came the medic's reply. "And how does the human feel?" Megatron questioned, staring at you.

  You shuffled nervously, and looked back over at Optimus, then back at Knockout. "I'd..I-uh, I would like to go back, please." You replied nervously, turning your attention to the ground.      Knockout looked a little hurt by your choice, but didn't say anything. "I'm sorry." You whispered quietly to Knockout. "You heard the human, Knockout. Give it to Prime." Megatron ordered, making the Decepticon medic angrily walk over to Prime and shove you into his servo, careful not to hurt you. "You're a piece of scrap metal for treating her like you did." Knockout growled, and walked back over to Megatron's side.

  "Megatron. What're you up to?" Optimus glared at the warlord, who in turn just smirked. "Is that honestly what you're worried about? I would've assumed the giant Predacon would've been more concerning.

     Suddenly, a giant metal like dragon appeared behind you and Optimus, scaring you senseless. "Have fun." Megatron chuckled before flying off, while Knockout was getting into a ground bridge.

"Optimus, what's that?" you asked, fear taking over your system. "A Predacon, it's almost as the creatures from your history-dragons, as you call them." you nodded. "Let's go, can you get a ground bridge?" You question, as Optimus and the Predacon have a stare down. The Autobot Leader nodded, and commed ratchet.     'We need an immediate ground bridge.' He spoke into the comm, and in less than a minute a ground bridge was opened.   Just as you and Optimus turned around, the predacon started charging towards you, making Optimus transform around you and speed into the portal, just escaping the flames that flew out of the predacon's throat.

    You stepped out of Optimus's vehicle form, and went back into your small little corner of the base where you had been reading earlier, as you assumed everything was just going to be like before.

  "Thank Primus you both are okay." Ratchet sighed, looking at Optimus then at you. "She only just got back, and she's already acting like she didn't just get rescued." Smokescreen said, walking over to Ratchet and Optimus. "Give her time, Smokescreen. She's probably tired." Optimus said, looking over at you.   You looked up at the Prime, hearing his last comment. "I'm not tired, I'm just waiting." The Prime looked over and gave you a confused look. "Waiting? What're you waiting for?"      Optimus began walking over to you, leaving Ratchet and Smokescreen to talk. "For things to go back to normal. It'll only be a matter of time before everyone starts ignoring me again." You sighed, and ran a hand through your hair.     Optimus frowned, and gently picked you up and set you down in his servo. "Y/n, if there is one thing I am absolutely certain of, it is that this team will no longer ignore you. You're apart of this team, and deserve to be treated that way. We all will make sure you no longer feel isolated, alright?" You felt tears blur your vision and you smiled. "Are you sure?" You asked for confirmation, to which he nodded his head. That was the moment that you started crying and motioned for him to come closer.     As Optimus moved close enough, you stood up and gave his faceplate a hug, making the Prime a little surprised by the action. "Thank you, Optimus. It really means a lot to me." You wiped your eyes, and you could faintly see a smile on his faceplate.

---Time Skip To A Week Later---

It had been a week since Optimus had rescued you, and everyone has been actually treating you like you were apart of the team. Of course, it did take a few days, but on the day you were rescued Optimus called a meeting for everyone to discuss why they'd been ignoring you, and why you had gotten so fond of Knockout. But, it was mostly the first one. Even Miko started treating you like a member of the team, which made you really happy.

   Of course, over the course of the week your feelings for the Prime grew, until you'd get too nervous to even say anything to him without stuttering. You'd also had been noticing him acting more, uh, protective of you then anyone else, though he also seemed a lot less strict towards you-it was very complicated.     However it didn't stop the team from noticing your interests with each other, and without you two noticing, setting you to 'up,' as Miko would say. The others would always send you guys on patrol with each other, or look after your's and Optimus's responsibilities so the two of you could hang out. You both were still oblivious to the others' feelings though, so not a lot of progress was made.

 Today, however, as you and Optimus were going out on patrol, you were going to admit your feelings to him, and hope that he feels the same.

 "Y/n, you ready to go?" Optimus asked, walking up to the human space were you sat. You nodded, and stood up, and quickly walked over to Optimus, him transforming into his vehicle mode. The two of you drove out of the base and into the seemingly endless desert of  Jasper Nevada. You two sat in comfortable silence, until you started speaking.   "Optimus?" You started but waited for a response. "Yes Y/n?" He replied, wanting to hear what you had to say. "I need to uh, tell you something." You said, your face heating up from embarrassment. "Oh? what is it?" You sighed, and tried to contain your blush. "I..I have a crush on you! I really like you a lot!" You exclaim,  startling the Prime as he swerved a little off the road. It was a small time of silence, you waiting to hear his reply- when finally, "I am relieved to hear that." You let out a sigh of relief, before giggling a little. "It seems that I, too have found affections for you, though I was under the impression it was one sided." The Prime explained, making you smile. "Naw, silly. I really like you too. Though, what would the others think?" You asked, unable to hide the large grin on your face. "I'm not sure, but we won't know until we tell them." "Does this mean we're dating now?" You swear if Optimus  was in his regular form he'd be smiling like crazy. "I think it does."   After that, the two of you started talking about random things for the rest of the patrol. ----Time Skip to three weeks later/bonus----

      After learning what the team had done to try to set you up,  you and Optimus were way more affectionate towards each other when the others weren't around. Both of you thought that it would've been awkward telling them, the two of you under the impression that they had nothing to do with the sudden tries and attempts to admit to each other.   Looking back, you'd laugh at how oblivious the two of you were, and the amount of time it took you to confess.     Currently, you were snuggled up to Optimus who was testing out the new holoforms that Ratchet created. Both of you were watching The Princess And The Frog on the T.V while talking to each other once in awhile before turning the attention back to the movie.   All in all, you loved your relationship with Optimus, even if it did get a little hectic at times. The others were pretty happy that you two got together, as you both seem to distract and take off stress that the war had been causing you both.

  Yawning, you rested your head on Optimus's shoulder, and quietly drifted off to sleep, as he rested his head on yours and also started falling asleep.

~End

---------------------------------------------

    This was written a few months ago, Most of what I post will be older writings from my other accounts on Quotev/Wattpad since I’ve become more active on here. Newer ones will of course be posted and added to the masterlist.

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[rivers-children]

Chapter 4

    It had been a few moons now, and Speckledpaw was getting into the rhythm of  training. She got along well enough with the older apprentices, Finchpaw and Thrushpaw, though the latter made her more uncomfortable as time went on. Palepelt had been working alongside Milkmoon to help Speckledpaw with her fear of the water. She would never be a great swimmer, but she had started to love diving, often ducking into the small tunnels to the nursery to make sure they were stable. It also gave her an excuse to check up on her aunt, who was expecting another litter, albeit not a planned one.

    “Hey Auntie, how are you holding up? Leafpaw says he thinks you’re expecting another kinda big litter. Also I brought you something to eat.” The apprentice set the fish in front of her aunt, who was splayed on her side, practically engulfed in the soft moss Snailpatch kept bringing in.

    “Oh, thank you! I’m doing wonderful. Just occupying myself with thinking of potential names and trying to not sink too far into this moss.” She joked slightly, rolling onto her stomach to eat, not quite showing her pregnancy obviously. “When you leave, please tell your uncle that I’m fine and I’d rather he snuggle with me if he’s so worried. At this rate there won’t be any moss for the medicine den.”

    Speckledpaw snorted. “I’ll try my best. He’s been running around like a quail without its head. I think everyone’s started being more worried about his health over yours.” She nuzzled her aunt gently. “I gotta go, Auntie Spruce wants me and Palepelt to do a border patrol, with the big meeting coming up and all. Briarpaw says he’s gonna check on you later, do you need me to pass on any messages or anything?” All the grown cats had been weirdly concerned about Riverback’s pregnancy, apparently she’d had two other kits that didn’t make it because she got ill suddenly or something.

    “No, No, I’m fine, but if you see any Cloudclan cats, give them hell for me, alright?” Riverback nudged her niece playfully with a paw, grinning. Speckledpaw just snorted, shaking her head a little before padding out. Camp had been getting quieter lately, everyone focused on preparing for Leaf-Bare. She watched Elderbark slowly make her way to the medicine den, carrying a fresh bundle of herbs. For a brief second, worry struck the apprentice that the elderly cat wouldn’t make it through the season. She had been the medicine cat before her grandfather had been born, and the thought of losing her constant presence was concerning.

    “Speckledpaw, are you ready?” The sound of her mentor approaching snapped her out of it and she looked over. The white molly practically Reeked of Redwind, Speckledpaw suppressing a slight gag at the memory of the two cats constantly courting each other. Gross.

    “Yeah, I’m ready. Which side are we starting on?” She followed her mentor out of camp, easily keeping pace with her mentor, and she suddenly felt a bit weird as she realized they were nearly the same height now. “We’ll be starting at the barn, to see how they’re doing and if they’d be willing to trade for herbs this coming season. I’d like to leave Cloudclan for last. With any luck we’ll avoid one of their patrols and a fight.”

    They quickly crossed the stones, the river much too cold to swim across now. “Auntie’s new litter are gonna be lucky. Learnin how to swim during Green-Leaf and all.” Speckledpaw mumbled absent-mindedly, following the slowly-familiarizing path to the barn. She liked the barn, the cats there were kind and willing to help, even if they were a little strange. Especially the leader of the group, Damascus. He was pretty old and some of the warriors thought he’d kinda lost it already. His daughter was super nice though, she had told Speckledpaw all sorts of stories when they had to stay the night because of a storm.

    The apprentice nearly bumped into the fence because of her daydreaming, worming her way underneath as Palepelt lept over it. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to jump like her mentor, but it sure was a pretty sight to see.

    “Howdy Miss Palepelt! Ya here to talk business or just see my pretty face again?” “Hello Daffodil. It’s business. I’d love to stay and chat but we still have a patrol to finish.” “Darn shame. I’ll go get Damascus. Be back faster than a lamb shake!” The soft golden molly who had greeted them hurried off as quickly as she had arrived, leaving the two clan cats to look over the farm. Cats were hard at work, either tending to kits, or to the weird patches of ground they called The Field. They had figured out how to grow herbs in the ground, so they were really good friends with Marshclan.

    Elderbark had apparently also tried to start growing herbs, but the soil in camp wasn’t the right kind, and anything out of camp would be too much of a hassle to regularly tend to like The Field. So instead every Leaf-Bare, and other times through the year, they’d trade. Fish for herbs, each getting something they wanted. Speckledpaw wasn’t quite sure why they wanted fish, they seemed to have so much already, but apparently they really liked the fish from Marshclan territory.

    “Palepelt, good to see you again. I suppose you’re here to talk about trading this winter?” Damascus, an old tom who was probably pure black in his youth but now heavily greying, hobbled over. “And how is Miss Elderbark? Is she well?” Palepelt nodded a greeting. “Yes, we are here to discuss trade. And Elderbark is well.”

    The tom seemed pleased to hear that. “Ah, wonderful. And of course we can trade. The harvest has been wonderful this season, and some of the young’uns are moving young sprouts of them more important herbs into the barn so they’ll stay warm even if it snows.”

    “That’s wonderful. In the next few days Sprucestar will be over then to discuss in more detail.” Palepelt smiled slightly. “Now if you’ll excuse our sudden exit, we must go.” She hopped up on top of the fence.

    “Course. Don’t be shy now! Come as often as ya’ll need!” The elderly tom called after the two mollies as they left.

    “Ok so… now we’re going towards Pineclan, right?” Speckledpaw tried to map their path out in her head. She wondered if they’d see any of them when they passed. She had yet to meet any, but she’d heard stories of cats that melted into the shadows and ran with the wind.

    “That we are. Don’t expect much though. They won’t really be patrolling our edge of the border. They have no reason to, and we don’t have much of one either, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.” Palepelt’s voice was quieter now, and she didn’t turn to look at her apprentice either. Speckledpaw had to wonder if her mentor had someone close there.

    The empty path of land stretching the boundary between the two clans unsettled her. She had always been told their ancestors had split it apart from their territories so cats unrelated to the war could pass in peace, but the packed dirt still carried the scent of death, at least to Speckledpaw. So instead, she tried to focus on the slight crunch of the grass under her paws, and watching the unfamiliar trees packed on the other border.

    “...Palepelt? How do they ever get anywhere through all those trees?” She could barely see any way through, any opening seemed to just be filled with more tree. “I mean, I don’t think anyone but you and Springpaw could fit through there.”

    The white molly stopped for a second, before snorting a little, her sullen mood apparently broken. “Speckledpaw, Pineclan cats tend to look different than Marshclan ones. They’re more built for weaving through those trees, like how you’re more built for diving.” She lightly nudged her apprentice as she made a noise of realization.

    “Most of us. I still struggled.” A sudden new voice sent both mollies on edge for a second, Palepelt whipping her head to look across the border. A huge brown and white molly stood on the other end of the border, though for a split second Speckledpaw thought the fellow cat had been some kind of beast. Scars were littered all across her pelt, and her eyes looked to be set in a permanent stern expression.

    “B-Bearstar, it’s an honor to see yo-” ‘Easy, easy. No need to be so formal.” The two older cats quietly greeted each other. “But why are you out on patrol alone?”

    As they spoke, Speckledpaw’s ears perked as she spotted something approaching through the trees. “Oh, I’m not patrolling alone. My mate and kit are with me, we were taking them out to tour the territory, as well as make sure Cloudclan isn’t pushing borders again.” The large leader looked back into the tree line, silently giving a go ahead for whoever was in there to step forwards. There was a silent gasp of amazement from the Marshclan apprentice as two sleek cats emerged. She could swear they were slimmer than the shadows.

    “Hello there, I’m Nightsong, and this is our kit, Snakepaw.” The large cat spoke, her dark pelt accented by the three light spots and her deep grey eyes. Speckledpaw had to look away for a second, her face flushing. So pretty… When she finally looked back up, the mollies had been joined by a scrawny, trembling apprentice, shorter than her. Their slim tail was wrapped tightly around their leg, nearly giving Speckledpaw a heart attack thinking there was a snake instead, due to its patterning.

    “So Cloudclan has been pushing again lately?” Palepelt spoke up again, bringing everyone back to attention. “I had been hoping the treaty would be upheld for more than 4 seasons… Well, I can certainly speak on the whole clan’s behalf that we will still continue to honor it.” Bearstar nodded slightly. “I appreciate that heavily. I can promise we will do the same. And be safe on the rest of your patrol.”

    The three Pineclan cats vanished back into the trees, Snakepaw glancing once back at Speckledpaw, a hint of that same amazement she had reflected in their eyes. They shared eye contact for a brief second before going their separate ways.

    “Let’s keep going, if we move fast we’ll be back before sundown. Ideally I want to be as far from the Cloudclan border as possible by then. If they’re willing to break a treaty so soon, I don’t doubt they’d be willing to attack us as soon as it gets harder to tell exactly who is who.” Palepelt quickened her pace towards the mountain in the distance.

[satonthelotuspier]

❄️ Untamed Winter Fest 2019 ❄️

Day 18 - Sweet - 1.9k

This piece follows on from my Day 1 and Day 11.

The oranges were perfectly in season and particularly sweet and juicy at that time of year, which was why for every segment Jingyi had succeeded in peeling free he only managed to eat half for himself.

The other half was subject to an oppressive tax levied by the Jin Clan Sect Leader. Oddly though, the reason for the tax changed with every segment he extracted.

The first was a Jin Sect tithe, the second a future cultivational partner dowry, the third a most accomplished archer in the room tax and so forth.

As Jin Ling had taken some minor wounds in their latest night hunt however, Jingyi was in the mood to pamper and spoil him. Which was how they’d finished up with Jingyi sat on Jin Ling’s bed, with Jin Ling’s head in his lap, feeding him half the oranges he was currently peeling.

Lan Jingyi felt that this was probably the most relaxed and carefree Jin Ling had been in a long time so he continued to feed him oranges and they continued to talk about nothing of any great importance.

Some time later, heralded by a knock on the door, the other juniors came to visit to check up on Jin Ling.

They’d shared their relationship with their friends a few weeks ago, and as expected they’d been on the receiving end of teasing ever since.

It didn’t really bother either of them though; Sizhui, Zizhen and the rest didn’t do it out of malice and they were genuinely happy for them.

Although Jingyi and Sizhui had had a heart to heart on the subject afterwards and Sizhui had good naturedly reproached him for not trusting Sizhui enough to talk about his feelings for Jin Ling, even before they’d started a relationship.

It was something he’d had no excuse for except he had been far too embarrassed about having feelings for the grumpy boy who apparently hated him.

Jin Ling sat up as they were joined by everyone else, assuming a lotus position next to Jingyi.

He was fussed and cooed over by the others and honestly he looked a little overwhelmed by the attention.

He proudly showed off his injuries, however, and they all swapped excited stories of their own adventures and near brushes with disaster during the recent night hunt.

As was quite usual for them they chatted into the night, pausing only to order the evening meal.

The Lan disciples conveniently forgot their clan rule of silent mealtimes when they were out on night hunts together with their friends, and they joined in all the laughter and talking over dinner.

The one thing they couldn’t control however was their bodies’ conditioned adherence to the schedule of sleep by nine wake by five as there weren’t any adrenaline filled adventures occurring to counteract it. Yawns began to spawn around the room and the merriment wound down.

Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi were soon the last two left thanks to the not so subtle manoeuvring of the rest.

“So obvious” Jin Ling groused but he still moved over to wrap his arms around Jingyi and hug him close. Jingyi had noticed he’d still paused briefly before making his way over; it took effort for Jin Ling to overcome his natural temperament but he was trying.

“I don’t mind” Jingyi laughed and leaned in slightly to rub his nose against Jin Ling’s.

There was a flash of disappointment cross Jin Ling’s face but it vanished quickly, and Jingyi didn’t question it.

“I don’t mind either, but they’re still obvious” Jin Ling told him with a mocking curl to his lips. “You should go, you’ll be falling asleep on your feet soon if not, and if you do I’ll leave you on the floor”

“I believe you” Jingyi responded, squeezing him once, half in censure half in comfort, “Get some rest” and he went to join Sizhui in their inn room.

***

As was to be expected the Lan disciples were the first up the next morning, they had woken, breakfasted and were practising sword drills in the inn garden before any of the others began to put in their morning appearances.

As the night hunt was over everyone would start making the journeys back to their own sects later that day, but obviously no one wanted to leave without saying goodbye to the others. Their group had been through quite a lot together ever since Yi City when Hanguang-jun and Senior Wei had saved them, and it had made for close bonds between those juniors who’d been involved. Especially once they had become more used to Jin Ling’s personality quirks (the temper) and stopped taking his words at face value so much.

The fact everyone would be leaving shortly was why it was a huge surprise to Lan Jingyi that when Jin Ling joined them in the garden so did Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-jun. From Jin Ling’s look of surprise their arrival at the same time hadn’t been planned.

The Lan Sect disciples all stopped their sword drills to salute the new arrivals.

Wei Wuxian had an unusually stern look on his face and he didn’t wait long for the niceties to be over before he asked Jingyi and Jin Ling to come with him.

Jingyi could see Jin Ling wanted to argue but Wei Wuxian didn’t pause long enough to let him.

“Which are your rooms?” Wei Wuxian asked as they climbed the stairs and they pointed out either door. Wei Wuxian entered the first room.

***

Jin Ling was prepared for a battle. It didn’t take a genius to work out what Wei Wuxian wanted to talk about having demanded both his and Jingyi’s presence.

Subconsciously they’d moved to stand shoulder to shoulder in front of Wei Wuxian, almost close enough that their fingers brushed.

“You were wounded in the night hunt?” Jin Ling started, honestly he hadn’t expected that  to be Wei Wuxian’s opening gambit.

“A little. It’s fine” Jin Ling dismissed, “I’m almost fully healed already”

Wei Wuxian looked at him for a few more seconds as if judging whether he was speaking the truth or not before deflating and letting out a sigh of relief.

“Good” he nodded, folding his arms across his chest. Then, just as Jin Ling thought he hadn’t had any ulterior motive in demanding both of them be there, “So, you’ve finally told people?”

Jin Ling straightened defensively, “So what? It’s not your business” and his chin went up in defiance.

“Jin Ling, I’m your double uncle, I gave you your courtesy name, show me some respect” Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes.

“You can’t just make up types of relatives, double uncle” Jingyi mocked with a snort.

“I am too” Wei Wuxian poked Jingyi in the chest with the end of Chenqing, “I’m his mother’s adopted brother on one side, and this body is half brother to his father. I’m his double uncle. The best kind of uncle I might add” he folded his arms again, Chenqing’s tassel swaying in the air. “Anyway, I don’t need to tell you what will happen if you hurt my nephew” he threatened Jingyi good humouredly, not that Jin Ling didn’t think for a second he wouldn’t lose all good humour if Jingyi did hurt him.

It was odd really, whilst he resented his so-called double uncle sticking his oar into his business it was also quite nice to have someone express concern over his welfare like that. He didn’t doubt his jiujiu was also concerned about him, but Jiang Cheng was so  abrasive about it his concern was like a double edged sword.

Ironically it was his surly uncle he most took after in temperament. He was lucky Jingyi was willing to even entertain a relationship with him if he was half as difficult to deal with the Jiang Sect head.

“Oh, I should probably have told you this first, but Jiang Cheng is on his way to give you the same talks. Probably with a lot more broken bones though” Wei Wuxian said cheerfully as he headed for the door.

***

Logically Lan Jingyi had known he’d have to deal with the uncles from hell sooner or later; they were Jin Ling’s family and cared deeply for him. What he hadn’t expected was it to be so soon, before he’d even had chance to discuss strategy with Jin Ling, and for them to be lining up outside the door taking turns one after the other.

As the door shut behind Wei Wuxian he turned to Jin Ling with a look of panic.

“I’m dead” he exclaimed.

Jin Ling took his hand and squeezed, “This changes nothing, does it? He was always going to hear about it sooner or later. Might as well deal with it all together and get it out of the way”

There was pure sense in what Jin Ling said. It didn’t make Lan Jingyi feel any less apprehensive.

Really, he had to fall for the boy with the scariest uncles in the world. One was the Yiling Patriarch, once thought of as the most evil villain of his generation, and the other the extremely bad tempered Sandu Shengshou, a fierce sect leader with a reputation for cruelty.

Then Jingyi looked at Jin Ling, who was looking back at him worriedly.

Sad he might have to mourn a boyfriend when his uncle killed Jingyi dead?

But no, that was uncharitable and he was glad he hadn’t voiced it; none of this was Jin Ling’s fault. He couldn’t help who his family were, and they’d managed to ruin enough of his life between them so far.

Jingyi smiled at him and returned the squeeze of the hand in his.

***

Jin Ling could taste the sour tone of panic on his tongue, almost sure Lan Jingyi was reconsidering their relationship; who wouldn’t with a set of crazy uncles like his? Running around making threats and acting like a gang of thugs.

He was going to have some strong things to say to them both if they spoiled this for him. Finding out Jingyi loved him in return was the best thing that had ever happened to Jin Ling and despite the fact they’d had to take advantage of every second they could eke out to spend together, it had been the happiest time of his life.

Jingyi managed to make him feel safe and loved at a time in his life when he had very little of either available to him.

And he’d actually thought Jingyi was going to kiss him last night and his heart had nearly stopped beating in his chest; sadly he’d been mistaken.

And now his uncles managed to stomp in and trample all over his feelings and the boy he loved, and the boy he loved was probably having second, third and fourth thoughts over whether a Jin Ling who was going to be very hard work without any external influences was even worth it.

He could feel the need to beg Jingyi to just stay with him rising up his throat.

And then Jingyi smiled into his eyes, and Jin Ling’s world stopped.

“I don’t care who your stupid uncles are Jin Ling, they aren’t you, and you are worth it. I like you so much it doesn’t even matter, let every uncle in the world come, we’ll deal with them together”

Jin Ling thought his heart would explode in his chest at the surge of emotion Jingyi’s words caused. He launched himself at the other, arms around his neck and pressed his lips against Jingyi’s in an awkward, clumsy but heartfelt first kiss, sparked by the sweetest words he’d ever heard.

[magicalsalamander]

Aurelius Part 4

Pairing: BTS Namjoon  ⇆ Reader

Genre: Werewolf | Fluff | Angst | Smut [later] |

Summary: When the daughter of the secretary for the Minister for Wolf and Canine relations is the last living member of her clan, she must find a way to avenge her family. She must find a way to put an end to the hunters whose sole purpose is to cleanse the world of werewolves. The golden one hasn’t forgotten. Will she be able to get the revenge she needs?

Words:7.5 K

Warnings: Rated Mature; Explicit themes.

A/N:  Orig post: 08|02| 2018; Updated intro 12|12|19. Part of the KLF Universe.

⇽ Prev | Masterlist | Next ⇾

My head whipped to the presences in the doorway. My rose-golden eyes glowing intensely as the blue moonlight silhouetted Namjoon and I. The tightly wound gauze slipped through my fingers bouncing twice, rolling across the room until it tapped against Alpha Kim’s slipper. The deep voice commanding my attention resonated through my bones. The room fell silent waiting for me to answer; all eyes were on me.

Alpha Kim repeated himself unmoved from the doorway, his broad shoulders nearly took up the whole expanse of the entryway, “Who are you?”

Namjoon felt his stomach-churning, but it wasn’t from his blood loss or wound, it was my intense distress. His eyes flickered red at unsettling nausea, his wolf whining at the tangible anxiousness filtering in the air. He reached out to me resting his large hand on my shoulder, “Aure?”

My heart pounded in my chest as if the beats of my own the heart was thumping the question in echo: Who are you?

I blinked back into reality, the weight of Namjoon’s hand bringing me back from the dark. I answered with more confidence than I was sure I had, “Aure, I’m Aure. Its…what I mean is,” I shyly gestured with my eyes staring at everyone, holding Namjoon’s gaze for a moment longer before I stepped away and his hand dropped, ” —all this? All this is just a bit overwhelming. I’m not—I just don’t know how to rely on others. All of you, you immediately came to Namjoon’s side. Back in the forest, when that rogue attacked Joon I felt helpless.” I turned away from Namjoon’s intense gaze, “I just don’t belong…here. I’m too dangerous to have around.”

I wasn’t strong enough to protect my family and I couldn’t protect Namjoon. Who is Aure? Is she the person I’ve become fully and left Y/N behind? I don’t like this weak person I’ve become; the roots haven’t been severed and burnt soil was growing weeds. I don’t want to feel that way.

I looked away from everyone in the room, feeling claustrophobic at the sudden attention on me.

A small growl rolled up Namjoon’s throat, his wolf angry at me for rejecting him emotionally. Although he knew it was my insecurities seeping up, it hurt to know I felt that way, that I looked at myself as being less than. His wolf upset at himself for letting me feel so hopeless.

The scrunch in Alpha Kim’s brows settled as his eyes softened, his fatherly instincts prevailing. He pushed off the doorway and stepped into the infirmary, “You belong here Aure. You don’t notice it, but members of the pack have started to look up to you, especially Aviva. Aure, you healed Namjoon on your own and was able commanding others like a leader. You stitched him up without any formal training. Things happen and you stepped up when you were needed…like a Luna. It’s scary, I’ll admit even I find myself afraid at times, but you did it. Aure, you belong here...with us.”

I wanted to scoff or laugh, but my inner wolf still knew respect at times like this, “With all due respect Alpha Kim, I’m not—.”

His voice grew deeper and stern, “Aure, a Luna is not to speak so lowly of herself. I don’t want to hear that from you again that you are not enough.” Alpha Kim turned towards his mother, “is Joon’s treatment finished for him to move back to his room?”

Mama Luna’s eyes were soft as she picked up the band-aid wrap and moved proudly towards me. She rubbed my arm gently, bringing me into a tight hug, “You did so well.”

I went rigor in the hug, Mama Luna’s has never shown this much open affection towards me. This was the first compliment I’ve received from her. I felt the match strike within me, flipping the switch, warmth blossoming like spring, a season I haven’t felt in years. The same safety and comfort I felt only from having the warmth of…a family. I warily wrapped my arms around her reciprocating the best I could.

Living at Nana’s and Papa’s, I was always on edge, and that intuition proved to be right. I could stop running away, they were letting me know that I can stop pushing them away. I was, and have been, accepted as one of them for a while now. I was just so caught up in my own cloud of anxiety and uncertainty to notice the hands reaching out to me.

If they were trying, I could try too.

She rubbed my back before she let go to attend to her grandson. “Joonie, let me see. Are you in—,” her murmuring to Namjoon faded out as Alpha Kim approached me.

He reached up and scratched off drying blood on my cheek and smiled at me for the first time genuinely. My heart skipped a beat, “You did good kid.” He patted my shoulder watching as his mother confirmed my procedure and methodology, a faint proud smile on his face.

Namjoon was able to slide himself off the table, but he wasn’t stable on his feet. His legs went numb for sitting for so long, instinctually I slipped in and under his uninjured side stabilizing him. Alpha Kim attempted to take on his weight, but I assured him I could carry Namjoon. Mama Luna smirked cleaning up the dirty instruments, “Take him to his room Aure, we’ll see you in the morning. Get some rest.”

I attempted my best bow before I was waddling down the hall to his room. I caught on to subtle murmuring from Alpha Kim before I was out of earshot, “she’s so much like him.” I tuned out feeling rude for listening into a conversation I had no right being in.

I leaned Namjoon on the wall as I shoved his door open and carefully waddled with him to side of his bed. I was completely aware of his bare chest pressing into me. I untucked and pulled back his black sheets the best I could while still holding him. I wrapped my arm behind him maintaining my best neutral face as I settled him into bed, he stared at me as I adjusted the blanket over him, “Is this fine? Does it hurt?” Namjoon nodded assuring me he was fine, he was soaking in all the attention from his mate. The look he was giving me reminded me of only hours ago, when he hovered over me with that same look of adoration…right before—.

I stood there for a moment unsure of what to do next fiddling with the hem my shirt. I took a step back nodding one last time and began turning away towards my own room. He caught my wrist and I gasped tumbling back around eyes wide at the dimpled man. His eyes were half-lidded as exhaustion was setting in, “Thank you, Aure.” He shifted our hands around until our pinkies were holding onto eachother tightly. “I will always keep my promise to protect you. Always.”

Tears were brimming in my eyes, but I bit them back before they streamed, swallowing them down, “You idiot, you’re not supposed to get hurt.”

He managed to chuckle softly, catching the near whisper of a jab at his ego.

I found it hard to leave his side, leave the warmth, the gentle comfort Namjoon offered. I didn’t want to be alone tonight. I sat down on the bed, smoothing my thumb over the back of his hand and kept up the gestured as he fell asleep. I began humming the song my mother taught me so long ago, “…moon spirt be guided through this night, so you can meet the morning light.” Content rumbles escaped his lacked lips as he breathed steadily, falling deeper into sleep. The adrenaline was flushing from my system and my eyes began to droop and body heavy with the need for sleep. I kept watching him and humming until eventually the lullaby put me to sleep.

I woke up to soft rhythmic beat pounding in my ear accompanied by calidity. The heat was unfamiliar, the feeling of the thin blankets draped over me and the sensation of flesh was unfamiliar. My cheek against skin was unlike the divot of my face squished into my lackluster pillow I’m accustom to. Despite the strange feelings, I didn’t want to move away, so instead I nuzzled closer into the heat. The scent emitting from the personal fireplace was a blend of lavender and honey, so narcoleptically calming and soothing I hummed as my wolf rolled in tranquil happiness.

My eyes shot open in late realization, I was pressed against a bare chest—Namjoon’s naked chest. I looked around the room the curtain was flowing as fresh morning air breezed in through the open window. Peeking through the curtain as it blew about the sky was crystal blue with cotton clouds littered about. The birds were chirping over the distant sound of tress rustling in delight. I followed the toned arm supporting my neck to his exposed thick neck, then looked up slowly to a sharp jaw the held a sculpted canvas of plush, pink lips and eyes covered by bands of a splayed fringe. Namjoon looked at peace, slightly smiling in his sleep as his chest rose and fell softly. I must’ve fallen asleep next to him and somehow found my way under the covers…and in his arms.

He grumbled as he turned away from the sunlight pouring in. A subconscious purr of content rumbled in Namjoon’s chest as he wrapped his arm around me bringing me tighter into his side. He lazily blinked awake, angling his face towards mine resting on his shoulder until our noses grazed. His breath fanning over my lips was intimate as we locked eyes, the morning sunlight couldn’t compare to the glimmer in his. A soft smile pulled his dimples into sight, “Hmm—‘mornin.” He tried tucking me into his side even further, but I pulled away and shimmed out of his grasp. I was afraid of putting pressure on his wounds, even werewolves needed a day to recuperate, I knew that very well. His thick lips pinched together in a pout and whined, “Why are you moving away? Come back.”

“Does it hurt?” I looked at him first for a go ahead to check up on his wound. He grinned at me, mischief sparkling behind that smile, and lifted the sheets off us. I turned away blushing like crazy despite already having seen his toned chest, “Namjoon!”

He laughed softly, “Why are you getting shy all the sudden?” I turned back looking through my fingers with a slight scowl. I reached out to press around the area over the wound observing his features for any sign of pain, but his dimples were still prominent. “I’m a strong man Aure, don’t underestimate my wolf. I’m sure its nothing more than a cat scratch now.” He pulled me back into his side tangling our legs together and adjusting me so I rested my head on his shoulder, “Five more minutes, just five more minutes.” I couldn’t protest, because that’s exactly where I wanted to be: by his side.

In fact, I couldn’t protest the rest of the week. Namjoon persuaded his father to give him time off from his apprenticeship with the argument “I need to focus on getting better so when I go back I’m in perfect shape”. I knew better, he was milking it, the wound looked good as new two days later. Honestly speaking at first It was odd having him around all day, but I never realized how much I liked him being next to me through the day; it settled my wolf. I found myself laughing and giggling like a school girl whenever I’d catch him getting scolded by Mama Luna for being clumsy and breaking something. I’d nearly double over in laughter when I’d catch him “dancing” with his headphones in none the wiser I was watching. However, I couldn’t really complain, I was getting to know him better. I found out the little ticks about him I never noticed like how he used his hands to express things, or how he blushes after he shows me affection in front of everyone. Past the surface, I found out his adoration for philosophy, music—oh music—when I got the chance to ask him about he was like an overgrown puppy.

I found myself falling…for the clumsy wolf.

On the sixth day, I decided to take advantage of the mid-afternoon breeze. I was sitting on the back porch reading and Namjoon sat across from me reading his own book. He grunted and sighed loudly occasionally that became more frequent. I looked over the edge of my book and the whining stopped. I rolled my eyes and went back to reading. The sounds started up again, I looked up with a raised brow but like the times before the sounds stopped. I adjusted in my spot, resting my temple on my propped fist to get comfortable indefinitely, but only a minute later the sigh reached its loudest and most obnoxious decibel. I didn’t look up from my line, “What’s wrong Namjoon?”

He bit his lips and placed a thumb at the bottom of his page looking over to me with his tantalizing puppy eyes. “I’m just not comfortable, I’m cold too.”

I raised both brows at him, how could he be cold when we both were basking in sunlight?

He rolled his eyes frustrated that I couldn’t take a hint and grabbed my ankles and yanked me towards him. With a yelp I fell abstractly onto his chest. I pressed against his chest trying to pull away but he flipped me over so I was sitting in between his legs and my back was flat against his chest. I felt like a child leaning up against her oversized teddy bear. I wasn’t sure who was more childish about affection, but I was thankful he moved me this way because my face was burning up.

I melted into him, maybe he was right it was chilly all the sudden. He nuzzled into my neck rubbing his nose and cheek along the column before moving up to my hair. Once he was satisfied scenting me he then tucked his chin on my shoulder like an anchor and brought his arms around me before he declared, “Much better.” He opened his book back up and continued reading as if nothing happened.

I found myself laughing at how fast it all happened, “You know you could’ve just asked, right?”

He pecked my shoulder with a swift kiss, “But I like seeing you blush.”

If I was burning up before, I was sure I was a puddle of molten iron.

 That night, I was looking out the window, the crickets were chirping loudly in the distance. I pushed Namjoon out of the room to go to sleep and shower, he had to go back tomorrow. However, ever since I feel asleep next to him he’s made an excuse up (and a good one) in order to sleep next to eachother. The first time I fell asleep on the couch and he just carried me to his bed, I woke up to reasoning, “It was too much trouble going left instead of right.” The butterflies still rumble in their cage in my chest at the memory.

I looked back out the window, it’s funny to think when I first arrived I wanted to jump out this window. Now I wanted nothing more than to stay, stay within arm’s reach of those within this house. I didn’t want to leave.

I sat by the window because I couldn’t sleep, my mind was racing in an infinite loop egged on by this lingering itch crawling up my throat. The way Namjoon held me today, the pace of his heart syncing with mine as we just…sat together. The more time I spent here I was really swallowing Alpha Kim’s words, this was my pack. I was a part of the pack. The sense of guilt bubbling up in my throat as I repeated the words to myself. I needed to settle my inner self if I truly wanted to be accepted by the Kim’s, by Namjoon.

I slipped off the edge of my bed my feet barely made a sound against the wooden floor. I don’t know why I felt the need to be inconspicuous as I snuck into the hallway. The soft hallway lights made Namjoon’s door seem wider and taller than it actually was. I bit on my thumb, clicking my thumbnail against my front teeth. I closed my eyes and pictured Namjoon’s dimples, his lips mouthing, “It’s okay, trust me.” I asked him to repeat it a few times before I pulled out my thumb and clenched my hand into a fist and knocked.  

Not even a minute later he opened the door, he stood there in comfortable sleep wear, but his pupils dilated taking in my presence. The reaction really coming from the ridiculously audible heartbeat of mine in his ear. He immediately went into protective, instincts flaring up, mode sensing anxiety leaking from me. I stop him from questioning why I was standing at his door so late, “I want to show you something.”

He nodded, questions hanging on the tip of his tongue but refrained sensing this what I wanted to show him was important to me, “Okay.”

He silently followed me out to the edge of the woods, “I need you to trust me Joon. Will you follow me?”

He searched my eyes bringing me in close, his embrace calming my nerves slightly, “Is everything okay? I just need to know that.”

I smiled at him, “Yes, everything is actually more than okay… you’re here with me. Just trust me okay? I need to show you this.”

He nodded, that beautiful smile gracing his lips gave me all the assurance in the world.  

With a pattern already established, I shifted then waited for Namjoon to follow up. The shift itself satisfied that itch to a degree. I felt so in tuned with the world, crisp clarity of my surrounding. When the near Olympus-descent-creature of a wolf rounded the tree, my tail wagged behind me. It will always be a bit surrealistic seeing Namjoon in his wolf form, the beast of the night standing tall. He trotted towards me and nuzzled against my head giving me a small lick at my ear in assurance I had his full trust.

I appreciated that he was being patient, but still affirmative. I reached up using his side as a step and licked his ear back. I climbed down nearly as soon as I reciprocated the affection and bashfully scampered towards a clearing. I could hear huffs of what would be human laughing, before his paws scrunched on mulch upon the same path I took. With a small nod back to him a small gesture that I was going for it, I lunged forth and ran. My heart was working overtime from the anxiety and pure adrenaline of running. I kept running, Namjoon stayed right by my side.

Namjoon wanted to howl in happiness, happy that I was letting him in and asking for trust. Happy that his Luna was leading him. Content with who destined picked out for him, because he couldn’t have asked for a better mate.

We ran for miles, however, my pace was still consistent despite the burn of exhausting setting in. Namjoon seemed unaffected, his breathing steady as he ran next to me. Namjoon was on high alert, he and the pack rarely ventured out this far to the border of the Park’s clan. The trees were becoming denser and thicker and the mulch was soft and moist under his paws. The night air was cool as the dew hanging in the air stuck to his pelt in the soft fog setting in.

I began to slow when the trees felt familiar, and the stench of car oil was within a half-mile. I slowed into a crawl, my ears flat against my head and caution on high when I saw flickering light through the leaves. Namjoon sticking close to my side following my body language until we stopped behind dense bushes. He could smell it, humans.

I nuzzled through leaves creating a secluded break to look at the cabin just ahead. I scooched over to let Namjoon see what I wanted him to see. He peered through the bushes taking in the welcoming looking cabin. Smoke rose from the chimney and copper light filtered out the frosting windows.

I stopped searching for familiarity when I caught Nana sitting on the worn couch knitting as per usual.  

Namjoon glanced over to me and saw my eyes glimmering with something. His wolf wanted to whine, the vicarious pain and anxiety was tangible in his heart. He sat closer to me hoping that the physical contact would calm me down. When he made contact he felt me trembling, so he leaned down and peppered gentle nose kisses on the side of my face.

It was starting to click in his head, the way I was reacting so harshly to what I was showing him. This must’ve been the place I ran away from the night he found me. This was the place where I was betrayed by people I considered family. The ones who shot me. His eyes glazed over a sickly burgundy.

Our ears perked up towards the rumbling of tires over the gravel driveway. The dust cloud diluted the headlights as it skimmed over the foliage we were behind. We both ducked flat against the floor as the light passed over us holding our breaths unnecessarily. Namjoon’s foot came to rest over my back protectively keeping me as low as possible until it was safe again.

Nana shakily rose up from her chair when she heard the car pull up. Their son, the one I’ve only seen in pictures, stepped out of the car with his wife and child following. The rickety mesh security door creaked open as Nana was putting on her fading green shawl. The little girl darted out of her booster seat, with cookie crumbs falling off her shirt as she ran to the door yelling, “Grandma!”

Nana’s voice was just as sweet as I remembered, “Oh Pumpkin, how’ve you been? Boy, you’ve grown up so much!” She smooched her about a thousand times the little girl giggling and squealed in her arms.

Papa gurgled then spit the tobacco he’d been chewing, swallowing the excess saliva down his throat, old habits die hard, pulling up his already high waisted pants further up as he stepped outside. Watching the smile on his face hurt, he used to smile at me like that. It was like the bullet wound never sealed, as I felt a phantom ache in my thigh, but I remain still for Namjoon’s sake.

Grandma escorted her daughter in law and granddaughter inside. Nana looked at her daughter-in-law sympathetically at the chatterbox on their hands. Papa put a hand up stopping his son at the porch. The son leaned in giving his dad a hug with solid pats on the back, “Encounter any of them wolves out here Pops?”

Papa sighed, “No...son, let’s not talk—.”

His son chuckled bitterly pulling a pack of cigarettes out his shirt pocket, sticking one in his mouth but took it out resting between his fingers to speak, “Out in the city it’s been busy with all the ruckus with them damn canines and their heathen ministry and what not. Politics my ass, those damn wolves are just delaying the right to our land. Same old bullshit Dad, nothing’s changed. One day…one day I swear I’m going to wipe them all out.”

Something crosses over Papa’s eyes that I’ve never seen before disgust, shame, sympathy…maybe? He took the cigarette from his son hand and cracked it in half, “Don’t smoke when you have the kid inside.”

Namjoon was tense and tight as his arm still draped over me, the alpha felt challenged by that scumbag…but he knew better. Think before you act. His thoughts were distracted at the creaking sound of the door opening again, “Bill, Jared, come inside, it’s too cold to be out tonight.” Their son stepped up to his dad with a smirk on his face, throwing an arm over his dad’s shoulder as they went inside.

Nana stood outside the door pulling her shawl further up around her shoulders, her eyes searched the perimeter…as if she’s searching for something. For someone. When she came up empty she sighed heavily mouthed something without voice and turned back around to go inside, the door bouncing on its hinges a few times before it shut.

Inside the sound of childish laughter echoed out through the windows. The amount of body heat inside frosted the windows up almost completely. Namjoon watched on as the little girl sat on her grandfather’s lap while they talked to eachother fondly.

I nudged Namjoon, dropping his arm from my back and my tail wisped around him like a feather as I begin my slow trek back to the pack house. It was time to go home.

The trees thinned out as we approached our territory, but I took a detour from the house. I didn’t want to go back just yet. Namjoon didn’t question it instead following along quietly. I followed the sound of running water until we reached the small river. The transition of earth went from solid to baby soft sand as my paws sunk in the closer I got to the water. The crickets were loud here, but the air was fresh and I felt like I could breathe again. The sound of water was calming as much as it was to look at the clear emerald view. I sat down at the shoreline staring into the water, the colorful fish swirling like watercolor marbling. However, I ignored the life and stared at the reflection of the moon. I didn’t realize how much I missed Nana...how terrifying it was being on guard everyday living there. The words of their son, Jared, echoing in my mind, “One day I swear I’m wiping them all out.” I wanted to protect Namjoon from them, but he had to know. I had to show him. It’s easy to forget the hate of the world when I was surrounded by people who loved me.

Namjoon sat next to me and we sat in silence except for the undertones of our pants still catching our breath from the miles of trails. He could feel the weight of my burdens floating in the air.

Namjoon’s ears perked up when something small caught his eyes. He stepped closer to the little critter, his tail wags happily behind him as he found a crab. I watched him as he carefully approached. The little brown crab with white spots stopped in its track, both claws raised in the air at him as if shouting “on guard!” It eye stalks were narrowly pointed towards him, but Joon was patient with it showing it he meant no harm.

Namjoon slowly inched forward, the crab was like a statue on its rock. I swear it was as if Namjoon was whispering to it on some telepathic level as it lowered it claws in some sort of understanding. Slowly Namjoon dipped his snout and booped the crabs shell in a gentle greeting. When he pulled back and the crab was still there Namjoon bounced up proudly, his tail wagging happily that the crab didn’t resist and accepted him. He jumped around, flicking up dirt on every spring, like a puppy. He bowed back to the crab, hunching down his muzzle flat on the floor to speak to the little guy again.

I huffed laughter as I watch the interaction between the two. Namjoon looked over to me calling me over with small whines. I shaked my head, I was more than fine where I was, but he continued to stare at me with pleading eyes. I slowly stepped closer, afraid to scare off his newest friend, and laid flat on my stomach next to him. The little crab clapped his claws, but someone Namjoon assured the little guy I was a friend. His little eye stalks shifting between the two of us. Namjoon pointed his snout towards the crab, wanting me to mimic him earlier greeting. Hesitantly I leaned forward trusting Namjoon and booped our newest friend with my nose as well. His claws tap at my snout and I pulled back looking at Namjoon smiling my tail wagging behind me that it actually worked. The little guy cracked his claws before diving back into the water and into his hole.

Namjoon fully laid down on the sand with a huff, tail still wagging happily as he watched his friend. If wolves could smile, he’d be grinning like a fool.

I loved that Namjoon always cherished the little things, he never took anything for granted. Past the connection of us being mates, I knew that he was someone I’ve grown to…love. I felt the innate need to cuddle into him, lick him clean, and make him feel just as safe as he made me; so for once, I gave in to my selfish desires. I army crawled over to the furry Olympus mountain fitting perfectly into his side. I checked Namjoon’s body language, but he was complacent with his tail resting between his legs. I began licking at his pelt around his ear, then jaw, and around his temple. The gentle giant rumbled contently allowing me to spoil him.

He yawned, settling down further into the cool, damp soil to fall asleep, however, I knew if we fell asleep here we’d both regret it, more so because he had to go back to the Ministry to work. I nudged him awake and jutted my head back to the pack house. He stretched before following me back to the edge of the forest.

I fished out my clothing and hid behind a tree before shifting back into my human form. I threw on my clothes haphazardly, but I waited for an okay signal from Namjoon indicating he’s changed as well.

“Aure?” He called out in a loud whisper.

I fiddled with the hem of my shirt, cold fingers trembling. Namjoon hadn’t pushed me to reveal more, but I pulled of the band-aid halfway already, I was already putting off enough by taking that detour. I needed to yank the band-aid off completely to rid myself of the guilt and bear my truth.

I stepped from behind the tree stepping towards him with my head down to keep the burning acid down. Namjoon walked up to me and cupped my cheek, his eyes filled with worry at my sudden timid nature, his large warm hands nearly engulfing my face fully. I hummed and lean into his touch.

He started first, “Was that—that was the place you ran away from, right?”

I nodded into his hand, “I lived there for a few years. Those old people took care of me…until…they found out what I was.”

His eyes flickered bouts of ambivalence red, but never shifting his gaze from me. The earlier words echoing in his ears, the angry simmering in his stomach.

I looked away, I had to, his eyes were searching for something that made me feel too raw. “I-I didn’t live there. They aren’t or weren’t my family…my real family. Who I am…” I bit my lip, feeling tears brim in my eyes. I wasn’t this scared of uncertainty when I turned and ran for my life as I knew Hunters were after me, or when I turned around and I knew a gun was pointed square blank at me.

Namjoon embraced me tightly cutting off my wild thoughts as he cupped my head and my waist. Although, internally he was just as on edge and nervous. This question wasn’t the first time its been asked, who was the one he called his mate?

“Namjoon, my name isn’t Aure. It’s a nickname my father gave me. My father…my family…they’re all gone. I’m the only one left.” I swallowed pushing away from him as I squared back my shoulders to look him in his swirling burgundy eyes. “My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I’m the daughter of the late Secretary of Ministry of Canidae.”

The world stilled, not even the crickets chirped. Namjoon’s head was hanging low, eyes wide as he heard...the truth? No, this couldn’t be true. Aure…no Y/N is the daughter of his father’s late secretary. The Y/L/N family who disappeared all those years ago. She was alive?

Namjoon lifted his head, eyes glowing but unfocused. I stepped back, truly afraid of those eyes for the first time. I clutched at my chest attempting to protect myself in some way. “Namjoon, please, say something.”

.

.

He was truly in shock. It was always a burden lingering over the Kim family, a burden his father passed down to him to figure out what happened to the Y/L/N’s. All the suppressed emotions he’s held in from the taunting from the meetings, the blatant moves they make to stir him up and the sadness. It was boiling over. He panted heavily, seething through his teeth he had to know, “What happened to you...them? Why are you the only one?”

.

.

The tears were blurring my vision, “they—,” I swallowed the name instilling the beginnings of a panic attack, “the Hunters.” I didn’t need to continue or elaborate he knew what I meant; every wolf knew what happened when a Hunter would get a hold of one of our kind.

.

.

It flooded back to him, the night he sat at the table with Mama Luna and his father. His grandmother’s words rang in his ear as the memory took life, “Her scars run deep. Her back, neck to behind is covered with scars from burns…it won’t be easy love. We don’t know how deep they go, but you’re going to have to help her mend it somehow…next to the bullet wound, I couldn’t make it out well, but I’m sure there’s an engraved H.”

He remembered the jolt up his spine at even just the implication of the branding of those savages. His wolf squirming along with him. He echoed the past, “You mean the mark of the hunters?” The scars, patchy fur from the burns, even the branding on Aure’s leg he’s seen it but never focused on it. How come he didn’t see it—this—her sooner?

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.

A growl rumbled through the forest, something deadly viscous that I’ve never imagined could’ve come from Namjoon. His fangs, the length and girth of them, that were reserved for his wolf grew past his lips. Trails of blood from the sudden growth cutting his lip trickled down his chin and dripped onto the dry ground. The darkness was casting a silhouette over him, no longer was the gentle giant before me, he was replaced with a seething beast. His aura was tangible, seeping like boiling tar on a hot summers day; the alpha wolf within him begging for release. For revenge.

.

.

Although on hierarchy we were the same, alpha, but the wolf within me wanted to roll over and submit, but I stayed glued in my spot. I began panting, my ears ringing, as another sick rumble pulled his lips back. This…this was exactly my biggest fear…rejection.

.

.

He was so upset, how dare those Hunters do that to Aure, his mate, his mate’s family! How dare they tear a part his kind, mess with his pack and act like nothing! How dare they! He rolled his head back and howled anger, let even the Sun hear him. As he lowered his head back down the biting cold of night shifted him into a dragon, steam escaping his gaping mouth and nostrils expelling the internal hysteria. He wanted to tear into those men and women that caused all this pain. Tears streamed down his cheeks in thick globs of saline mixing in with the blood, the scars Aure had, physically and mentally he could never truly fathom.

They had to pay.

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.

I backed away, dead leaves and twigs crunched under my bare feet. I could only focus on the dark energy rippling from him, I could feel it as my hands trembled from the emotion. He was angry at me because I lied, I kept a huge secret from him and this was the price to pay. I knew this was a bad idea, the idea of a being a part of a pack was silly…I should have known better—I should have known better that once I revealed myself I wouldn’t be accepted.

I’m the moon that never knows when to rest. Blatantly reflecting in the day, sharing a sky I didn’t deserve, not knowing when it’s my time to fade.

What did I expect, I’m too dangerous, I’m no good.

.

.

I stepped back stumbling over my shuffling feet, the broken twigs and crushed leaves were sharp on the flesh of my palm. I scrambled up before I turned around and ran. The tears stung, blurring my vision, but I continued to run as fast as my feet could carry me. I opened my mouth to sob, my throat tight from holding back a sob, but the crisp air burnt my throat. I kept my mouth shut.

The spell broke when his wolf howled in distress, but it was because of my wolf crying out to his. His teeth retracted, eyes oxidizing back to its comforting brown. Namjoon called out, “Aure!” When I don’t turn around he called on stronger, using his Alpha prowess, ”Aure! Aure! Come back!” It didn’t work I keep running. His voice weakened when he realized I didn’t intend on coming back to him,” A-Aure.” Panic set in, he knew he messed up, messed up big time. He shouldn’t have gotten angry or let his emotions get the best of him. He shouldn’t have acted out when I was in such a vulnerable state.

I knew my human pace could only get me so far, my callus we’re building back up as my feet pounded against the uneven soil. I grew impatient with my limitations and began shifting, but it didn’t slow me down. I wailed that turned into a slurred groan, it was painful shifting with clothing on and running; it put pressure on joints that were manipulating and bones that were extending. The pain was over in a blink of an eye when all my four paws hit the ground, my clothing hung in odd clumps of fringes around my wolf form concealing the patches of missing fur…my scars. I picked up pace into a full-blown sprint, the forest around me blurring, Namjoon’s calling out to me was muffled.

My pace was clumsy as branches were scratching against me, thorns snagging in my pelt, but I kept running forward. I had to get away, run away.

My wolf was chaotically roaring at me, her instincts were telling me that he was getting close, but not close enough, I had to keep going.

I didn’t realize how far I got until I was running along the stream that turned into a rapid river. The thrashing white water crashed against the darkened rocks jutting out the water. I ran through trees, my paws shifting from packed soil to softened sand as the river came to a sudden bend. I couldn’t stop, my momentum was too great, and I dived into the water submerging myself into it full body. The cold sting of the freezing water was worse than the pins and needles of the trees. The current was strong and unforgiving pulling me under its clutches, dragging me to its darkest depths. I couldn’t see as the waves tosses me around like a pathetic piece of clothing in the wash machine. I pushed up, padding my way to the surface but another wave drug me under and then up again teasingly. I tried paddling up again, I didn’t want to die there, but it was getting harder to fight. My throat was closing up, I was holding onto something I wasn’t sure I had. The last bits of oxygen my blood was hanging onto for mercy. It was so dark, the fleeting bits of sky I saw above offered no end.

Over the roaring water, I heard a faint voice in the back of my mind, “It’s going to be okay, just relax.” I wanted to listen, I felt the need to listen, her voice felt comforting and familiar. I relaxed my body and let the current take control.

Soon I thudded against an algae covered boulder, the bubbles of oxygen I was saving escaped my muzzle at the harsh impact. I used the solid ground where the algae didn’t grow to scratch onto and find a grip. I swam and climbed upwards finding a break in the current. I had to keep going, even though my muscles and lungs were burning. I kept moving until I hit solid land and crawled onto shore. I laid there panting, regaining my breath. The world was so quiet, it was as if the river and the wind calmed. I whined feeling heavy, unwilling to move. As twisted as it was I was already missing Namjoon, but I couldn’t forget the anger on his face. Anger towards me, towards who I am.

I heard crunching of leaves just a few feet away breaking my lucid pants. I held my exhausted breath hoping whatever it was didn’t see me. Lucky wasn’t on my side. The river water cleared my senses and I smelled them before they reached me: tobacco and iron. Combat boots stomped on the soft soil, “Well, well, well, look what we have ‘ere? If it isn’t a lost pup isn’t it.” The masculine voice was menacing, no trace of sympathy or concern.

My vision was still faulty, but I flipped over trying to find my footing. My wet, tattered clothes weighed me down as I propped myself up on my wobbly arms, growling at the stranger my with gums exposed. I knew whoever this was wasn’t a good person. “Ho’, Ho’ aren’t you a snappy one! I like that.”

He took a step closer smiling from ear to ear and I pulled my lips back further, my voice dipping deeper. The man ignored my warnings and kept approaching me, “Play nice now.”

“Your choice,” he pulled out a hunter’s knife from his pocket and I finally looked when the reflection of the moon bounced off the knife at his face, fully looking at the stranger. It was Papa’s son Jared. The sickening disgust boiled in my stomach, my adrenaline renewed like I took a shot of epinephrine to the heart.

I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt me again.

He lunged for me and I snapped back. He grabbed onto my fur and brought around his knife in a swing attempting to jam it in my neck. I opened my mouth wide taking advantage of his unilateral advantage and engulfed his wrist sinking my teeth in. He screamed and punched at my head right by my eye, the neck punching landing directly on it. I whimpered releasing his hand, backed away off him. I couldn’t open my eye well, but he stood up gripping on his hand, “you son of a bitch!” I circled around him the water slowing down our pace, but I never shifted my view. I looked for an opening to run through the forest and forget this all. He switched the blade to his good hand and roared lunging for me again. Water flew in the air as it crashed on the boulder, as well as fringes of my clothing, fur and flesh. It all happened so fast, I was sure I had the upper hand again, but my adrenaline was running on its last fuse. With a last snarl I lunged for flesh, but he slashed the knife right across my chest. I howled as I stumbled backwards sloshing in the shore, but I still tried to make way to the forest. I needed to get away.  

He picked me up by the spine, his bloody hand staining my fur, stumbling on his feet bringing me above his head. Water from my pelt was trickling down, I tried wiggling, but I couldn’t move more than that. He pulled back and threw me. I felt the zero-gravity effect for what felt like a minute, but it was only a second before my body slammed against the boulder that saved me.

Everything went black.

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Copyright 2018  © by magicalsalamander. All rights reserved.

[cecil-mudokon-defunct]

💔 - A heartbreak (anyone you want lol)

The way the day started was so ordinary. Bruno and I woke up to the sounds of nature. Light shining through the trees, and the chirping of nearby birds, all promising signs it was going to be a good one. It had become warmer. The freezing tundras being little more than a distant memory.

The two of us had been traveling together for what Bruno explained to be an entire season. The intricacies of the passing of time still perplexed me. But I trusted he knew more about it than I did. We spent most of our time walking from one destination to the next, what that destination was, neither of us were sure of. We didn’t stay in the same place for long. Not wanting to deplete an area of its resources we’d move regularly.

During one of such travels, we were walking through the lush forest looking for something to eat. As Bruno explained the differences between what he defined as mushrooms his words suddenly went silent. I can’t even begin to try wrapping my head around his sensing capabilities. But it’s clear something was getting closer, and by his expression alone I could tell it wasn’t someone friendly.

Before I could even ask what was wrong, he had grabbed my hand tightly and launched us onto a branch right above us. I tried asking again but got cut-off mid-sentence by a harsh hush.

Then I heard something. The humming sound of engines. It’s a sound I was more than familiar with, but these didn’t sound like any machine I had ever seen. Pushing me further back towards the trunk, Bruno made an attempt to shield me from whatever was approaching. The sounds becoming louder and closer, it soon mixed with the sound of voices yelling back and forth. I was told to stay quiet and to not move.

Not understanding what was going on and the lack of information scared and frustrated me at the same time. As the racket came closer, I looked in the direction it came from. Suddenly, the source showed itself, or rather themselves. A small group of outlaws on what I now know are motorcycles drove past by us. The one in the front shouting at the others to keep their eyes open. Whoever these guys were, they’re bad news.

After they passed, Bruno took the both of us down and started running in the opposite direction; his hand tightly clutching mine. I tried to ask what we were running from, if he knew those people, and why they were dangerous enough to get this kind of reaction of out of him. But none of the questions ever got answered.

I did my best to keep up, but I soon was exhausted and couldn’t handle being dragged along any longer.

I begged for Bruno to slow down, but he didn’t listen. One bad step on a stone that slid away under my foot sent me falling downward. Feeling a sharp stinging pain in my leg I looked down; seeing a rather long cut running from my thigh to past my knee. Panting heavily, Bruno told me they probably were far enough now, and that he was sorry for what he had caused. He was already talking about how he would treat the wound in detail, but I simply shook my head, saying he shouldn’t worry about a scratch. Letting his guard down, he helped me get up and let me pull him into an embrace. Catching my breath, I suddenly felt a shot of pain in my back. As a numbing sensation spread through my body, I gradually lost my strength and straddled to the ground.

Dizzy and weak I tried to ask what was happening as Bruno pulled something that looked like a syringe with a feather on the end of it out of my skin. Before he could tell me what this weird object was, he too, soon collapsed. I panicked, but I was too dazed to do anything about it.

I’m not sure of what happened then, but next thing I knew, I woke up laying on the grass with my wrists and ankles tied together by some sort of metal wire cable. Fighting to stay conscious, I strugglingly opened my eyes. Seeing little more than a collection of blurs, I could hear people talking.

“Best catch we’ve had in weeks.” “Don’t get too excited just yet. The big one’s missin’ some parts.” I then realized they were talking about me. Groaning, I tried lifting my head to look at who these captors were. “Well, good mornin’ sunshine.” I heard someone say to me before violently getting pulled up by my hair. My vision became clearer, and I was able to make out that the man holding me was the outlaw leader we saw earlier. “Where… Where is-” “Boss! Lookie here!” Before I could even finish my thought, I was cut off by the other one. A deep chuckle followed. “Son’ bitch has an id number… Betcha whoever owned this mutt would pay good moolah for gettin’ their lost pupper back.”

My tattoo… The barcode that was etched into my neck. They knew what it was and wanted to send me back! In fear, I started to struggle;  hoping to get out of their grip. The thought alone made me fear for my life. If I was returned to Lights-out, I’d be executed for sure. A strong sense of hopelessness came over me. Where was Bruno? Without making a sound I started praying that I would get out of there.

As if by magic, I then heard his voice. “Take your hands off of him…” All this time Bruno had been playing dead while freeing himself from his bondages. His eyes glowing with intense anger, he stared the two down although they were not impressed at first. “Looks like we’ve got ourselves an escape artist.” Waiting for them to let go of me, he stood there unmoved. “I will give you one last warning… Let. Him. Go.” The leader shrugged. “As you wish.” Opening his hand, I fell down, hard. Not wasting any time, Bruno lunged at them; grabbing their throats and releasing a powerful electric jolt into their bodies. I, to this day, have no idea if he killed them or not as neither of us were gonna wait around long enough to find out. Bruno picked me up and quickly made an escape by floating far away from this place.

Later we found ourselves in a denser part of the woods. By then I was fully awake but still shaken up by what happened. Bruno said nothing… He looked into the distance with that stern look he got when thinking up a plan. I sat there in silence. The rustling of leaves being the only sound there. I was getting nervous from this. I stood up and reached for Bruno’s shoulder. The reaction I got was a quick jerking motion to get away from my touch. “Bruno… What’s-” “This was too close.” He said as he interrupted me. “If they did a better job of tying me up, you’d be on the first train back to Lights-out right now!” I didn’t know what he was so mad over… “But we got away, didn’t we?” I said with a naive smile. Hoping to charm him into improving his mood. But it wasn’t working. “Barely… I-” Bruno took a deep breath as I tried to suppress the sinking feeling I had in my stomach. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this, Cecil…”

My heart sank. “Wh- what are you saying? You’re not leaving me are you?” Tears wetted my eyes, this could not be happening. I attempted to make eye contact, but he kept looking away. “Bruno?!” He sighed and nodded once. “I am…” I could feel my heart shatter. Didn’t he love me anymore? Was I really too much? Whatever made him come to this conclusion, I knew it was my fault.

“You can’t be serious… You’re lying!” I shouted in desperation. “I promise I’ll do better! I’m sorry I keep getting us into trouble. I’ll do anything! Please! you can’t leave me here!” I begged and pleaded. But Bruno gave little response. As I started crying I wrapped my arms around him. My world was falling apart. The only person who ever genuinely cared… Suddenly didn’t care anymore. Didn’t love me anymore…

He took my hands and moved them away from his neck using his powers to push me away without having to touch me. “Bruno…”

“Keep following this path… You’ll find a village of other native mudokons. It’s small, but I’m sure they’ll take you in…” I couldn’t believe my ears. He was actually instructing me to leave. I knew he wouldn’t or couldn’t come with me. But I didn’t want to go. “I promise I won’t let us get captured again! Please… Don’t do this to me… Let me stay with you.”

Bruno took some steps back. Looking at the ground he hid every emotion he might have had in that moment. “I’m sorry… I can’t!” This was the last thing I heard him say before he sped off.

I sank to my knees and bawled. Not even caring if anyone heard me or not. I might as well have been dead at that point. I rather would have stayed a victim to the slave catchers and dragged back, never knowing what happened to Bruno at all, than getting rejected like this. By the time the sun had started to set, I still hadn’t left. A tree behind me supporting my back. My puffy bloodshot eyes hurt by the tears, my throat felt sore and raw, even my nostrils stung.

For hours I kept wishing for him to come back. But he never did. I had sat there waiting like an idiot for hours. Cried for hours. Until I ran out of tears. Slowly I began winding down. I closed my eyes and went back into my memories. Back to the cave of snow I took shelter in after I was banished. I tried to reconnect with how I felt then. Lonely, scared, cold. But not only that, there was also a great sense of hope and determination. I had to figure out to do now what I did then. This wasn’t the end, it shouldn’t be the end. A setback, maybe. Tragic and heartbreaking for sure. But not the end. I got back to my feet and glanced at the path Bruno had taken before staring in the direction I would go. With wonky feet and fighting my own body to make it move, I began walking away. “Goodbye, Bruno…”

[exoduspuppies]

ADOPTED BY GYL!

Parents: Aksel x Nanna Name: Holly Hyacinth Holt Sex: Female Birth Season: Late Spring Height: Small Weight: Average Build: Average Health: Healthy Pack: Rogue (Currently Undecided) / Brotherhood x Vanguard Personality: The polar opposite of her brother, Holly is not as open to the world as he is. Stern; Opinionated; Resilient; Straight-forward; Honest; Can be judgmental; Apathetic; Strongly Independent; Pessimistic; Silently Affectionate/Sentimental; Suffers from internal conflict. Thinks before taking action. Exemplifies both leader and follower qualities. Holly doesn’t know what’s wrong with her, surrounded on a constant basis by others who are openly warm-hearted. She, however, seems to lack the easy-going nature of her family and comrades. Although it will be easy for her to decipher the emotions of others, she will struggle with her inability to connect to them. While she is strongly opinionated, she doesn’t speak from a place of emotion. She deeply cares about her family and friends, although this can be known through subtle or considerate actions of hers rather than by word of mouth. Appearance Description: Holly will be born with a mostly black coat with brown hues, but as she ages, her coat will fade into the same salt-and-pepper look of her paternal grandfather. The opposite of her brother, her markings are black, and as she grows, the richer the color will grow. The marking on her face is also the polar opposite of her brother’s, where the marking will line the central points of her face and trace the opposite sides of her cheek bones. This marking reaches up all the way to her ears and then down her backside, making one long black stripe that ends at the base of her tail. Holly was given the heterochromatic trait passed down through her maternal grandparents, as well as her mother: both pale/pastel in color, her left eye is a light blue, while her right eye is a light green. Her eyes will be vibrant and noticeably different as a child, but as she ages, the colors will grow softer and her heterochromia will become more subtle. Broad shouldered and wide-set hips, but lean in the face, flanks, and limbs. Extras: Both of Holly’s parents are heavily involved in their packs and enjoy being apart of them. She would be coparented and cohabiting between both environments! This may change later pending how this situation plays out, and Holly may choose one pack or the other, to float between both, or neither!

[miracleonicefanfiction]

Love and Miracle- Jack O'Callahan Fanfiction

CHAPTER 1: WHAT TO EXPECT? 

~KIMBERLY’S POV~

Beeep! Beeep! Beeep! Beeep!

I dig my hand from underneath my blanket and smash the alarm clock mercilessly.

Beeep! Beeep! Beeep! Beeep!

Groaning in annoyance, I repeat my action and expect the annoying sound to be over.

BEEEP! BEEEP! BEEEP! BEEEP! BEEEEEEEEEP!

“ Oh for fucks sake!” I jolt up and grab my alarm clock with one intention only. To throw it to the ground and break it. Just before I smash it against the wooden floor of my dorm room, I realize it was not my alarm clock that woke me up. Well, first ringing it was, but not the following two.

“Come on, sleepy head. We are late!” my room-and teammate Alice shakes me. I bury my head in a pillow and mumble: “I hate you, Alice Rose Roy.”

The mattress squeaks as she jumps on my bed and starts bouncing up and down: “I won’t stop until you are awake!” “I am awake, I am awake. Jeeesh, you are so annoying!”

“Nope. I just don’t want to skate extra laps for being late.”

Now I am really awake: “Extra laps for being late? On a morning practice? Oh, shitshitshit!”

I jump off the bed and the change of pressure sends Ali fly off my bed as well and on the floor.

“How long do we have?” “Twenty minutes.”

“Fucking shit! Are you ready to go? Your gear in a bag? Stick ready?”

“Calm down. You are the one who can never get up, not me. With an attitude like that you have zero chances of being the new captain.”

Twenty minutes later Alice and I are on the ice, panting hard from all that running from our dorm room to the ice hall. I lean my head on the end of my stick and breath out a cloud of air.

“You are not in your last season shape, now are you?” Alice laughs, leaning her hands on her knees, her stick laying flat on the ice.

“You think you are?”

“Okay, girls, gather up!” our coach yells and we pile around him.

“Welcome back again, girls, I hope you haven’t forgotten to exercise during the break….” “Yeah,’ I mumble to Alice, making her suppress a laugh, which comes out of her mouth like a snort. Our coach turns to the two of us and his gaze stops on our red faces: “You two don’t seem in a good condition though.” “We ran all the way from our dorm. And running with a hockey bag is not fun,” I answer with an innocent smile. Ali next to me huffs again, apparently trying her best not to start laughing. Coach O'Connell furrows his eyebrows before he looks at Alice with a stern look on her face, making her stop laughing immediately.

“Roy and Mayfield…” I close my eyes when he says Alice’s and mine surname, knowing this will not be good. Damn, I should really learn not to speak my mind all the time.

“Goal line. The rest of you,” he looks at our teammates and continues “ off the ice. You two… sprints.”

Alice behind me starts gasping for air. She has never been punished and I feel kinda bad for dragging her into this. I know how much playing for coach O'Connell means to her… As for me, I look up at his eyes and spit out: “How many, coach?”

“Let’s make it five,” coach has never seemed more entertained. I swallow few profanities and get on the goal line, however, silently cursing him. And my tongue.

The whistle blows and I barely have time for another sigh before speeding down the ice.

Four sprints later and I am out of breath. This is an absolute torture and I don’t know if I can handle the entire practice. I quickly glance over Ali, who is in the same condition as I am. Breathless, red-cheeked, exhausted and with sore legs. We lean on a goal post and I whisper to her: “Just once more. Just once more.”

“I hate you, you know?” “STOP TALKING AND START SKATING!”

I close my eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. I will never talk back to any coach. Ever.

Just once more. Once more and this is over, Kim.

Trying to keep my legs going, I speed up once again. But my muscles don’t agree. One moment I am skating and in another moment my helmet meets the icy surface after my legs give up.

“KIM! Kimberly, are you alright?”

“I am fine, I am fine.” I stand up and look at coach: “We done enough skating?”

A small smile draws on his face as he nods: “Yes. Drink some water and get back here.”

Ali and I skate to the bench, our legs barely functioning properly. Alice looks at me while I am drinking that water like someone who hasn’t drank in a while: “Why didn’t you keep your mouth shut?” “I know, I know, I am sorry,” I mumble and pour some water on my face to cool down a bit.

“I promise I will try harder, okay?” I hug my friend before we skate back to have another two hours of practice.

Two hours fly by quickly and while changing out of my gear, coach assistant knocks. You should’ve seen the speed all of us grabbed our sweatpants, jerseys or those girls who were just getting into a shower, the nearest towel.

“May I come in?”

“Uh, sure!” Lauren, alternate captain of the last two years yells in response while quickly glancing around the locker room.

Thomas Moore, young and nervous-looking coach assistant walks in. It’s obvious how uncomfortable is for him to just waltz into a locker room, full of girls.

“Coach asked me to bring Kimberly over to his office.” “Can’t he wait?” I sigh and start unlacing my skates again.

“I am still in my gear.”

“Now. He needs to talk to you right now. It’s urgent.”

I sigh and roll my eyes: “Fine. Give me five minutes to get…” “Now. Even if you are in your gear, now.”

When I catch Lauren’s gaze and her shaking her head, I shut my mouth and get up from the bench. Pulling down my chest protector and pulling a hoodie on, I say to Thomas: “What’s so important coach can’t wait?” “Just follow me, please.”

Okay, I admit. His tone makes me concerned. Will my talking back bring bigger consequences than I could’ve ever imagined?

With a lump in my throat I wait after Thomas knocks on the door of coach’s office for coach O'Connell to call me in. Waiting doesn’t take long, but before I make a step into his office, I am a nervous wreck.

“Come on in!”

“You sent for me, coach?” I ask quietly when I enter. He looks up from a pile of papers and I see my name written on the top one.

“Ah, miss Mayfield. Take a seat, please.”

I gulp hard when I sit down on the other side of his desk. My hands are clammy and shaky from fear what could happen.

“Firstly…” “Sir, I would like to apologize for my behavior. I-I…” “Can you please shut your mouth and listen to what I have to say?” he asks calmly, but his eyes are stern. My mouth instantly zips and I nod my head in agreement.

“Great. Listen, I know our team needs a new captain. But…that’s not why I called you in. You know the Winter Olympics are coming soon, right?” “In February. But right now it’s only…” “In twelve months. I know this are our off-season practices and those girls shortened their vacations to be back here, but that’s not the point. The point is, this is men’s team…” I nod slowly, still wondering where all this is going. I mean, what does the men’s team has to do with me? I am only a twenty-year-old student of Brown University with only wish to succeed as a hockey player.

“Kimberly, even though it’s men’s team…would you like to try your luck out there?” “Out where? In the NHL?”

“No. As a part of the Olympic Team.”

“Excuse me? Are we talking about US National Olympic Hockey team?” “Yes. I’ve seen you handle a puck better then many guys. You have a great vision on the ice and with few girls you’ve had the chemistry on the ice since the day one.” “But, coach. I am a girl.”

“I am aware of that, but the way you play…you deserve something bigger. So, you want me to keep you informed?”

“Yes. Yes, please, coach. I would love that.”

“Great. And my intention is to get you to the tryouts in August. That means you will not get rid of playing during holidays. So you better cancel all your plans.”

I stand up and smile at our coach: “Thank you, coach O'Connell. Thank you for believing in me. And not throwing me off the team for my attitude.” “Oh, and about that. I hope you know I won’t give you the captain title. I know how much you wanted that, but you’ve proved you are not ripe for becoming a team leader.”

“I know, coach. I think Lauren should be the captain. Not only she wants that more than anything, she is capable of leading us. And we respect her.”

“I will remember your words, Kimberly. And you remember mine. You can make it at the tryouts.”

As soon as the door close, I throw up my fists in the air, silently celebrating the praise I’ve just been given. Finally, someone saw what a girl from a dysfunctional family could do, if only she believes.

“Yes!” I silently squeal and run to our locker room to finally get out of this sweaty gear. When the door open, I realize Alice is still there, waiting for me, apparently.

“Ali?” “Kim, is everything all right? Did he throw you out? What happened?”

“Everything’s just fine. He…uh, he just needed to talk to me about my behavior. And I had to promise I’d try to work on it. I am still on the team, you are not getting rid of me this early.”

She laughs and pulls me into a hug. And she also quickly pushes me away: “Ew, you are all sweaty! Get out of your gear and take a shower, I can wait.”

“I’ll be ready in ten, okay? What do you think about post-practice milkshake?”

“You can really read my mind. Just hurry up!”

While rinsing sweat off my body and off my hair, only one thing crosses my mind. How would anyone expect that a loud girl with sharp tongue would be good enough to be asked to try her luck as one of the players for the Team USA at the Winter Olympics in Lake Placid in 1980? 

[gukkle]

Fifth Season

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Characters: Taehyung x Sae Ron

Part 1

Eight years have passed since I’ve seen him. My life revolved around him, my day had began with him and ended with him. I would call him the love of my life, but he left for a better life, opportunities he could never get with me. Now he’s on top of his game and I ended up right underneath him again, in more ways than another. In your life, he was your fifth season.

2009

“Taehyung, put me down I swear to god I will destroy your little action figure collection that you think I don’t know about,” I started banging on his back. Taehyung had grabbed me in the middle of an important conversation about prom and just decided to man handle me. I was now on his shoulder being carried away as my friends continued to laugh as their one true leader was being taken away.

“Ah ah ah, that’s not nice, Saeron. I wanted your attention and you weren’t giving it to me. So I had to revert to these methods,” Taehyung smirked at you from besides your hip. My skirt was beginning to ride up more than it already had.

“I was talking to my friends, I was busy. Also Tae, my skirt is riding up my thighs. Unless you want to give everyone a show, please put me down,” I was still bouncing on his shoulder. The view from up here wasn’t that bad either. Taehyung had a nice butt and long legs. My boyfriend was pretty hot if you were to ask me. We’ve been dating since sophomore year, he had asked me out in the cutest way ever, it was in front of all his friends because he wanted to prove that he wasn’t a pussy. After he asked me, he had shouted to his friends, “Who’s a pussy now?” Fifteen year old Taehyung was shy and insecure around girls, he had trouble talking to girls he liked. But he got there after 2 years of pining. I knew he had liked me for a while, I was going to ask him out myself if he didn’t make a move himself.

“You should never be too busy for me, and we should give them a show,” Taehyung reached up and started pulling my skirt down. As much as he joked, he always would comply to my little commands. He was a pretty obedient boyfriend, he doesn’t listen only when he’s turned on which is pretty much all the time. He finally put me down on bench and he plopped down right besides me. I had to fix my hair that got messed up during that little journey. My hair had turned into a fluffy mess due to my body being upside down. Taehyung just stared at me as I tried to fix the mess on top of my hair. His eyes were so piercing it gave me chills down my spine.

“You look perfectly fine, stop doing that. I just wanted to ask you how your day was going,” He quirked his head to the side and gave you a cute and endearing smile. He looked like a puppy.

I couldn’t help but soften. Taehyung was a sweetheart to his bones. He was the boyfriend that every girl wished they had. I just managed to snag him before everyone else had. He reached out and laced his long fingers in between my smaller ones.

“My day is going fine, I feel like I have the most intense case of senioritis. Tae, I can’t believe that we’re almost out of here. We’re going to be freshmen in college in four months. We just have graduation left and we’re out of here to the next passage of our lives. Also we’re even going to colleges that are so close to each other. What couple can say that?,” I started rambling. I was just really excited about that fact that I was going to Columbia and Taehyung has been accepted into NYU Stern. We’ve been together for three years and hopefully we will go on for many years more.

I love Taehyung more than anything. Anything time he was even in the same room as me, my heart wouldn’t calm down. He’s been with me for so long. I don’t know what I would honestly do without him. During midterm weeks, he always called me and asked me if I was studying because I got distracted easily. If I wasn’t studying, he would make me go to the library and studying right in front of him. College meant everything to me, my parents always had told me that it is really important for my future to what college I would go to. My parents are slaving away at their horrible jobs to provide me with the education that would set me up for life. They saved and barely made enough for me to go to Phillip Exeter, and a chunk of my tuition came from my soccer scholarship, All my life I have been working towards getting into the most prestigious schools. I knew I wasn’t especially smart or special, but I had to try my hardest. Taehyung knew that and he understood. When we had gotten into a relationship together he had said to me,“I know that you want to focus on your studies and you might think relationships are a waste of your time, but just give us a chance and I promise it won’t be bad.”

He had told me that in with his whole sincerity. He never broke that promise. In fact, he was the one who gave me ambition and drive when I had none. When I was completely done with the amount of papers and work, Taehyung would hold my head in his hands, smile and say, “You can do this Saeron. Think of everything you have done that has lead up to this. Don’t stop now.” My favorite part of his little inspiration talks would be when he bought me my favorite croissant. He never failed to put a smile on my face and he drove me crazy with everything he does.

“I know, we’re so close. But Saeron, I want to talk to you about something,” The atmosphere in the courtyard seemed to turn grey. Taehyung was known to joke around, and that was one of the reasons I loved him. He never failed to retch a laugh, giggle, or chuckle no matter what mood I was in.

“Hm? What would that be,” I was curious, he was rarely seriously. Taehyung just looked too formal. A piece of his hair had been blown into his eye. I moved forward a little to push the hair out of his face. His eyes looked right through me as I flicked the little hair out of the way. The way he looked at me just sent a warm feeling through my body. I could see all his emotions bared out in his eyes. He was wearing our dark blue school uniform, with just his tie a little out of place. He was nervously fiddling with his fingers and it gave away that he was nervous.

“I know you’re excited and ecstatic about college, but I really don’t know how to tell you this. I want to let you know from me, rather than someone else,” Taehyung started, but he never got to finish because his name was being blasted through the PA system. The guidance office was summoning him.

“I’ll finish telling you when I come back, don’t go anywhere I’ll be quick,” He planted a kiss on your forehead and quickly got up and ran towards the main yellow school building that dominated the field, his long legs eating up the distance. I couldn’t help but stare. He was too perfect.

I was left alone once again. I should wait for him but he might take a while so I decided to stroll through the courtyard. It was May, which meant it was spring here. Rows of delicately planted flora surrounded a large thick oak tree. Our school sure had a mean gardening club, they put in the time and the money to make our school’s only courtyard look amazing. I guess that’s what our parents money went to. It was a while until I heard someone’s approach the bench I was taking a nap on.

“Tae, what did you want to tell me,” I didn’t open my eyes, the sun was too bright.

“Oh it’s not Taehyung, it’s me, Jimin,” a voice spoke. Jimin and Taehyung weren’t the greatest of friends. In fact, they were enemies in the disguise of friends. He was going to Columbia, the same as me. Taehyung always ranted about him to me, saying that he was a try hard and that he obviously had a crush on me.

“Hey Jimin, what do you need?” I still didn’t open my eyes. It wasn’t odd that Jimin was here, he always seemed to appear when Taehyung wasn’t near you. I knew that Jimin did have a small crush on me, I wasn’t oblivious. He did try to flirt with me sometimes, but I always turned him down because I only had eyes for Taehyung.

“I wanted to tell you something,” Jimin’s shadow blocked the sunlight. I finally opened my eyes, and he was standing right there. I guess it was time to get up from my little nap and entertain Jimin and whatever he had to say.

“Go for it. I’m all ears.”

Jimin huffed and fixed his uniform and tie. I lazily smiled up at him, as much as Taehyung hated Jimin, he was still a good guy.

“You know how you constantly bragged about how you and Taehyung are going to schools that were in the same city?”

“Yeah, he’s going to Stern and I’m going to Columbia,” Everyone knew already because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

“Well I just overheard from the guidance office, Taehyung talking to his counselor about how he’s going to a school in Korea instead,” Jimin boasted.

I couldn’t help but laugh a little, “Taehyung did get an offer from Yonsei University but he didn’t take it. He rejected in, Stern is where he wants to go.”

“No Saeron, he’s going to Yonsei, he already accepted it. He’s leaving right after graduation,” Jimin insisted. Ah, Jimin was so wrongly informed.

“Jimin, he’s not going to go abroad to study. He loves New York,” I patted Jimin on the head. He was so wrongly informed. Jimin huffed at your gesture and swatted your hands away.

“I’m telling you, he is leaving you for Yonsei. He’s not staying with you in the states. Don’t say I didn’t tell you later on when you’re heartbroken,” Jimin pushed even more. He smoothed his hand over his shiny hair, and looked me straight in the eye. The look in them unnerved me. It didn’t seem like he was lying, but no way did Taehyung make that decision without telling you. He told you everything, this shouldn’t be an exception. Jimin stared at you for ten more seconds before leaving with a silent question in the air.

I looked up at the sky, blue fluffy clouds floating in the sky. Taehyung wasn’t going to Korea, he wanted to go to New York City and Stern; where I would be. Was this what Taehyung wanted to tell you about? A gnawing sensation was burning it’s way through your chest. Taehyung had said that I was the only future for him. I closed my eyes and soaked in the sweet scent of the tulips and roses in the air. It was spring, the season of life and growing. It was the time of the year where everything was alive and reborn. There was no way that he was leaving.

Taehyung never got to say what he wanted to say to me. A couple of weeks have passed and he didn’t bring it up. It hung over my days like a dark cloud. I wanted the truth to come out of his mouth and not Jimin’s. I wanted, no needed, reassurance that he wasn’t about to leave me in a month.

“Hey Saeron, I brought you your favorite pasta from Mario,” Taehyung slid a brown paper bag towards you with a sly smile. Today he had his hair sweeped to the side and it had made you and all the girls swoon. He was so handsome.

“You’re honestly the best boyfriend I have ever had,” I greedily grabbed at the bag. The scent of tomatoes and basils wafted through the air

“I’ll take your thanks in the form of a kiss,” Taehyung pointed out his chin. I couldn’t help but giggle at his cuteness. I gave him a short kiss on his lips but drew back as fast as it had started. He pouted at me, I gave him a little pat on his cheek and ate the food he had bought me.

“That was barely a kiss, I’ll take another one later,” he stole a piece of pasta from my plate. I couldn’t let him take my pasta, we wrestled for it. I poked at him with my fork and he just didn’t care. I finally let up and started to feed him. He was eating with a sated smile on his face.

“That was a great kiss excuse me. Just be happy I’m willing to share today. I’m in a good mood,” I shoved a meatball down his throat. He swallowed it and stuck out his tongue to show me that he had eaten it all. I never felt more in love with him in that moment.

Graduation had quickly come upon us and I slowly forgot about what Jimin had told me. Taehyung didn’t show any suspicious signs that he was hiding something from me. I shouldn’t let Jimin’s words break into my thoughts and trust.

“I can’t believe that we finally graduated high school,” My friend, Amelia screeched as she threw her cap up in the air. I rushed over to hug her, we spun around. We were actually done with this place. No more high school, no more being stuck in this horrid place.

I spotted Taehyung from across the room and couldn’t help but run up to him. He held out his arms for you to jump into.

“I’m sorry your parents couldn’t make it to your graduation. At least they’ll come to your college graduation. But we made it Saeron, we finally made it,” Taehyung buried his face in your neck. I wore the scent he loved, which was a light april cotton.

“I love you Tae, we’re onto the next step of our lives. Imagine our lives in the city when we go to college. I’m already imagining late night takeout and delivery. But of course those nights of slaving over textbooks for upcoming exams. I can already see the New York skyline at night with those mesmerizing blinking lights. We also have to visit Times Square many times, I can’t wait to ride the giant ferris wheel in that giant toy store,” I would have continued if Taehyung hadn’t pulled away. The look on his face was didn’t reflect your excitement and happiness.

“I really didn’t want to tell you, but I have to. Saeron, I’m so sorry but I’m not going to be in New York with you,” Taehyung took a step back, distancing himself.

“Wait what do you mean? Did you accept the Duke offer?”

“I love you so much, but I have to do this. I committed to Yonsei University just two weeks ago. They’re giving me a full ride. I have to take it. It’s near where my grandma is, and she’s dying. I have to be with her before she passes away. I love you so fucking much I don’t know what I would do without you. But I have to do this, never forget I love you more than anything and that is why we have to part ways. I’m leaving in two days,” his eyes never left yours. They followed the tears that fell across my face. He tried to whip them away but I couldn’t have him touch me cause I know they would scorch my skin hotter than the summer sun.

I never really knew what it feels like to have your future ripped apart until that day. Taehyung was suppose to go to the city and live out the life you guys have planned for years. He was suppose to stay with you forever. Jimin was right. Taehyung was leaving for Korea. Today was completely planned out, we were suppose to celebrate our future and how many children we were going to have. Everything I imagined came crumbling apart before my eyes. The cheers from the joyous crowd turned sour in my ears. What were they so happy for? None of them knew that your world had just turned into an ice age.

Words couldn’t escape my mouth as hard as I tried. I wanted to yell at him for keeping this from me. I wanted to slap him. I wanted to hug him so he would never leave me. I stumbled back and ran. I ran faster than I ever had before. I could hear Taehyung yelling my name. I wanted to fight for him, for us. But I couldn’t. I knew he loved his grandmother more than anything in the whole world, including me. He may say that he loved me more than anything but I knew the truth. He wasn’t leaving me because he wanted to. If I told him to stay, it would be incredibly selfish. I couldn’t do that to him. Tears streaked rivers down my face. In the corner of my foggy vision, I saw Jimin looking at me. He had an unreadable expression on his face. Graduation day was over, and so was my future plans. I never knew how fleeting could be. The years I spent planning my whole life, wiped away in one day.

I didn’t see Taehyung after that day. I heard from his friend,Jungkook, that he had left quickly and sadly. He wanted to see me but I didn’t answer any of his calls. Taehyung even came to my parents home, but my dad had chased him off the property. I watched him from my window. He had written a letter for you and he sent Jungkook to deliver it. I never opened it. I couldn’t see his handwriting, if I saw it I would break down in tears. I already cried my heart out, I didn’t want to cry anymore.

“Saeron, I know you don’t want to face Taehyung, but please don’t be too sad. He wouldn’t want you to be like this. He loves you so much, he has to do this,” Jungkook tried to comfort me, but it didn’t work.

That summer I barely left my room in my parents house. They didn’t know what to do to help. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that my boyfriend broke up with me. The sun always came up in the morning, never wavering. I could never stand the heat, so that was my excuse to stay inside. The children laughing outside just depressed me even more. I thought of the talks about how many children we wanted. Taehyung had wanted four. He loves children, I always thought he would be a great kindergarten teacher.

August eventually arrived and left. My parents were so proud that I was going to Columbia, a school they have always admired from afar. Now their daughter was going to fulfill their dreams that they could never even have thought about achieving. College was going to be the start of something new. Taehyung was settled in Korea and spending his time taking care of his ailing grandmother. Jungkook would often bring up Taehyung and updates about his life. It was something he knew I needed. Jungkook would tell me what he was up to, and he always never failed to remind me that he loved me, and I never asked.

Autumn on the Columbia campus never failed to make me happy. Leaves seem to be everywhere on the ground and the orange, red, and yellow colors gave me inner peace. People say that fall is a bad season because all the leaves are falling. I loved it.

Strolling through New York City during autumn was an amazing experience. Pumpkin spice scents leaked from coffee shops. I walked along the outer edge of Columbia. I had class later, but I wanted to breath in the October air before it left. Everywhere I would see him. I’d see him in class sitting across from me, sending me a mischievous smile filled with the promise of trouble and adventure. I would see him sitting across from me in the library, urging me onto study, handing me my favorite baked good. I would see him at parties, looking straight at me with a dark look in his eyes, while lights flashed over us.

But my life was the complete opposite of summer. My mood matched winter, I felt like I was dying everyday. But winter was far away and so was Taehyung.   

[silverxblade]

Lassie x Ellyyy!

send me a ship and i’ll tell you || Meme (Accepting)

「 Elesis 」

((Under read more because it’s LONG xD))

who hogs the duvet : Likely Elesis, because she can’t stand the cold and Lass is more than happy to wrap her up nice and warm. He doesn’t mind the cold, rather he loves the cold, Wintry season. He’ll pamper the woman of his love interest as much as he could.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going:Elesis; because Lass is a workaholic and often buries himself in work and often too absorbed to watch the time. Although there’s the other fifty percent he will check up on her too, so she wouldn’t do anything reckless, if she did he wants her to be okay… and if neede dhe’ll be there to address her wounds and take care of her needs.

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts:Elesis is probably the one with creative and unique gifts to surprise Lass or make his day, whilst Lass is more focus on thoughtful and essential gift, like better weaponry or armor for Elesis to protect her in her field as the leader of the Knights. Polishing her to shine the best.

who gets up first in the morning:Lass, this is definitely Lass, he’s an early bird and a light sleeper, who often sleeps less or an insomnia who is too restless to sleep. But he also wants to get up early and watches as Elesis’ peaceful face as she sleeps. OR Up early to prepare a hearty breakfast, he knows Elesis likes her food.

who suggests new things in bed:Lass; hands down…. but she’ll have to be really convince him she’s ready for new things, otherwise they’ll keep it innocent as possible… that is, if Lass is willingly to touch her. He fears deflowering her virtue would… be a sin.. he’s probably the only one in a marriage relationship that doesn’t want to consummate afterward. xD

who cries at movies:Elesis…. her favorite action hero in the film dies or her favorite leading cast, and she’s teary and yelling at unfairness. Lass doesn’t really care about the movies at all, yet, he’ll humor her and keeping her accompanied.

who gives unprompted massages:Both… Elesis trying to get Lass to relax and take time off from his mountains and piles of paperwork. Lass on the other hand would give Elesis massages after a hard battle, win or lose, he would comfort and relaxes Elesis until she stress free.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick:Likely Elesis xD, because Lass rarely gets sick, he only gets injured in battles if its challenging. She’ll just try to make him soup… and likely causes him to get even more sicker. Lass is more calm of the two and would take care of her in a calm and attentive manner, unless someone specifically hurts Elesis, he’ll get his vendetta against those who hurt her.

who gets jealous easiest:Lass, having issues to express his feelings for Elesis, and he’s possessive to some degree. But his jealousy is rather silent, silent fury, silent freezing coldness, silent jealous… and usually shuts down when he does, and not want Elesis to think less of him. Any problems he have, he usually doesn’t really be vocal about it.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music:Probably Elesis, because Lass doesn’t waste his time listening to music, unless Amy prompts him to… or maybe Lass when he’s being forced to listen cheesy music by Amy and Elesis catches him one day.

who collects something unusual:This would points to Elesis, probably collecting strange things either out of pure interest or to gain Lass’ attention away from his work. The only things in Lass’ collections are the essentials…. or counting the over a hundred pets in his pet section.

who takes the longest to get ready:No one, both of them gets relatively ready fast, Elesis being a tomboy that is. But Lass who would fuss over her and makes her sit down so he can brush her hair, and groom her to shine. Lass refuses to let Elesis go without looking at her best presentation.

who is the most tidy and organised:Lass; he’s essentially a clean freak and would clean any dirt, filth and organizing everything in place. Elesis is the opposite of him. The only thing that is acceptable in filth, is being covered in his enemies’ blood. If Elesis is looking for something, she’ll ask Lass, and he’ll know where it is.

who gets most excited about the holidays:Elesis. Fun outting and away from work, she’ll seize this opportunity to grab Lass and drag him off for some fun. Dates, more honeymoon or just having fun and party. Lass will concede to her demand and goes with, no questions asks. He’s just content in keeping her dandy and happy, because a happy wife is a happy life.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:Obviously Lass is the big spoon and Elesis is a little spoon. Although, he doesn’t mind if she clings onto his back whilst sleeping or hugging in general. Lass isn’t strict or stern with her, he’s very lenient and patient with what she wants.

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports:Elesis, she’s a hothead who has to be number one. Lass is competitive too, just not at fun and games, mostly at something that is important, failure is not an option. But for Elesis or any one of his friends, he’ll attempt to try his best, before letting them win and praising them. He’s more the encouragement type, or support ing them morally.

who starts the most arguments:Er… both? Elesis wants attention and Lass away from his overtime working hours, and Lass trying to keep Elesis out from doing reckless things. Elesis is the type to action first talk later, Lass is more careful type, they are almost opposite in their personalities, clashes would happen it isn’t a surprise.

who suggests that they buy a pet:Elesis…. since she would dump a kitten onto Lass and compared Lass to it. Lass just complies to what she wanted, as long as she knows how to care for the animal… but her life style often scares him.

what couple traditions they have:Do they have that? The routine is normally, Lass the househusband pampering and caring for his wife, and Elesis would want cuddles, sparring, fun and partying. It’s more mutual understanding what role their have, even if Lass often have issues conveying his feelings out to her… or in general.

what tv shows they watch together:Lass watches anything Elesis wants… but he isn’t fond of brain cell killing lame television shows, or eye sight destroying screen. But knowing Elesis, she’d rather go out and get some action than being couch potatoes. SO both of them likely to leave the TV left abandoned in their living room to catch dusts. (If any dusts dare to come in with Lass there).

what other couple they hang out with:That’s a good questions. Maybe Jin and Amy? Or Lire and Ryan? Lass doesn’t dare to hang around Arme or Ronan. He knows Arme has an unrequited affection for him and Ronan… he’s just bitter the fact he loves Elesis and she’s with Lass. Lass isn’t an outgoing or socially interacting person, it is likely that he’ll be awkward around large grouping.

how they spend time together as a couple:Cuddling, talking about in common interest, sparring, Lass likes to brush Elesis’ hair and often encourages her to wear more ‘dress’ and take her shopping so she can try out clothing for him. Or Ice skating, or any sports club, gym… or just ends up falling asleep together on the sofa finishing their reports.

who made the first move:Lass, because Elesis is innocent and she’s more shy than Lass is when it comes to intimacy. They’ll just be awkward, and Lass is already awkward and painfully self-conscious. Questioning his worth, if he’s worthy of her. Likely, Lass will just kiss her and walks away with his dignity (read; runaway). Until Elesis is more confident in initating kisses, Lass will reciprocate without a hitch.

who brings flowers home:Lass:, for Elesis on special days, or brighten the house so it doesn’t look gloomy. More flowers to showers Elesis with, or draw her a flower petal scent bath. Or just spring flowers onto Elesis’ bed as she wakes up. Flowers are his form of appreciation for her and love too.

who is the best cook:Lass obviously, considering Elesis’ insanely crazy cookies baked by Satan’s spawn. She’ll kill everyone, the roaches are smarter than to touch her stuff. Cooking is left to Lass and he wouldn’t tolerate his kitchen being burnt, destroyed or wrecked. For the sake of them not getting killed and keeping her innocent, he’ll cook. No questions asked.