#tldr we continue to ball

[swagginmun]

Hello!! Hope you’re doing well- I just want to let you know that someone posted practically the entirety of your LMK Forged Faith comic on Pinterest (if you want I can give you the name just let me know). So yeah if this isn’t you or you didn’t give permission then that sucks (if you did give permission then my bad lol), on the bright side it was what led me to find your amazing art on tumblr so that’s pretty cool. Hope you have a good rest of your day :)

First of all, welcome in! I'm glad you were able to find the OG Source! :D In all honesty, I don't have the time to go after all reposters/art stealers (had a store steal my art for their hoodie designs a while back and they claimed to remove the design, but I'll never know for sure </3) but I'll add where I post my comic in my master post for the comic.

But just right off the bat: I post here, my twitter, (which is also where pages would most likely be posted earliest in the day), and comicfury recently has been slowly catching up since I've been worried twitter/tumblr were dying earlier this year. Anywhere else (outside of reposts noted on the comic masterpost) are reposts that haven't notified me of their existence

[aotaku12]

@mimimi2d asked for the sinners playing D&D with Dante as DM The sinners chosen were based on me and my friend's top 2 sinners! I finished the sketch the moment I got the notif but I only finished it today sorry that it took so long and I hope you don't mind them looking goofy hehe...

(Limbus Art Requests open in my Ask Box!!!)

[pangolin-404]

The Don Thacker QnA

Continuation of this post; tldr: I emailed Don Thacker and he was kind enough to answer some questions about Jazzpunk's live action trailers. :) everyone say thank you don thacker

This includes his words about working with Necrophone Games, the production of Project Pigeon and Project Switchhook, and their scripts. Here's the full thing (it's quite long!):

How did you start working with Necrophone Games, and what was it like? Did you work more with Luis Hernandez or Jess Brouse more?

Jazzpunk was originally brought to Imagos through Adult Swim Games. We had done several live action spots for ASG and I think the Necrophone Games guys may have seen something they liked? Most publishers we work with regularly basically lay out a marketing strategy and we're on the menu. "Do you want something from these guys," kind of thing.

At the time, we were an agency of record for ASG, and they put us together. To ASG's credit, they mostly stepped out of it once NG and Imagos were working together, though. It was an incredibly cool deal from them.

All of our work with ASG was like that; they would come to us with a project or a nugget of an idea and say, "go wild!" and we would, of course, go our particular brand of wild.

The Jazzpunk IP moved away from ASG, or at least the marketing side of it did, between the first spot, "Johnny," and the the second spot, "300-1200 Baud Buyman."

To both ASG's credit and NG's credit, the process was prettuch the same both times: awesome.

Did you work with Hernandez to compose the soundtracks?

Not at all. All in-game music was done without any influence from Imagos, and Imagos commanded the entirety of the music side for live action. Obviously, NG had notes/ input, but the two worlds remained mostly separate. 

This is actually intentional most of the time that Imagos does a live action spot. We need to keep the game proper and the hyper-splatter of crazy images in the marketing close enough to be causally related, but distant enough to neither give away the experience you would get from playing a game or try to express in 90 seconds what a game takes 90hrs to say.

How much free reign did you have over the creative direction? 

This is an awesome question for this project in particular. NG was the most hands-off absolute dictatorship we have ever worked with IN THE VERY BEST POSSIBLE WAY.

Essentially, they hit us with a hundred thousand little details and asked us to go ham and cheese on them. They were open to almost every one of my wild pitches, but the details were fine tuned by them to an incredible degree.

Imagos's process, when asked to pitch a story for a spot, is to put together a deck of several ideas that we feel would best serve the project and present them as a menu from which a client can choose ideas from; even mix and match elements from all of the presented ides (which happens). We do this to limit the infinity of choice. It helps with clients who don't know exactly what they want, but know things they DO want, and know very clearly what they don't want.

The NG pitch wasn't like this at all. I had a few lightning strikes and we hopped onto a video conference and I just ranted a bunch at them about my weird concepts and they rolled with them almost immediately. It was in the details that they really pushed hard to make sure what we were doing was going to live in the world of Jazzpunk. 

Looking into our archives, I see the notes we came up with during those meetings. Here they are, pasted:

Pitch 1

Noir detective enters office/closet

Pulls out briefcase

Gun, parabolic mic, bluebox

Banana, lobster, blender, ping pong ball

Dumps a pile of cardboard hands

"I'll be there in 10 minutes."

Pitch 2

Keanu reeves enters facility

"I've got to check my email"

puts on helmet, gloves, puts bit into his mouth

"hit me"

seizure

cut into: checking email, facebook, etc

Pitch 3

[Look Around You - but 1960s]

1960s style educational video

"the computer, invented in 1932 by James Bromely--"

"robots are used in many homes for--"

As you can see, we used a lot of bits from those. As I've said, this is 0% how we usually ptch. Usually there's a whole proposal with notes on tones and imagery and stuff.

Do you still have the storyboards? 

We didn't board Johnny - we listed. The time and money didn't really allow for it.

I worked with the same Cinematographer on both Johnny and 300/1200 Baud Buyman, one with whom I had collaborated on several commercial projects as well as a feature film before this point, so we had a bit of a shorthand going. We made shotlists and went into the day with a clear vision once we saw the set.

The set took seven days from concept to film ready. It was built in front of a greenscreen cyclorama, so the outer windows could show through to the city, TOKYO DUO. It was an incredible endeavor from a production designer I had worked with on some other ASG spots (and more), and it benefited heavily from his understanding of the Imagos look. It was entirely built, with wild walls (we could move any wall at any point) and an incredible level of set dec.

Once the DP and I stepped in, we knew the lists would work and we just went wild.

For 300/1200 Baud Buyman, we used a practical location (the interior of a grocery store) and boarded some of the action for clarity. Not as much as we'd board normally, but, again, the budgets for both of those spots was limited, and the timelines so short, that boards were a luxury we didn't get to play with widely.

Here is a set from 300/1200 Baud Buyman:

Was there anything planned that didn't make the final cut?

For Johnny, only one beat; a comedy beat where the agent gets all geared up to CYBERJACK INTO THE NETRIX and then we hit a cold drop. He's forgotten to push the button. Then he pushes the button and it's ON LIKE TRON.

I think we cut this beat as redundant. Once we got to filming, it felt a lot like cyberjacking into the netrix was going to be enough. Watching him unwrap the thing and follow all but one instruction felt like it might be dead space. 

That, or we just ran out of time. That's always an option in production.

Otherwise, it was all 1:1 the script.

For 300/1200 Baud Buyman, nope. Nothing. We shot what we wrote :) Well, we didn't do the tongue quarter gag.

Interesting note for 300/1200 Baud Buyman: The split-screen section, with The Director talking to the Cashier in one frame, was entirely a practical, in-camera effect!

What happened to the props and spoof items used? 

For Johnny:

The CRANIAL REFRACTION HELMET was destroyed. Several of the parts that made it into that beast were either rental bits or owned by one of the crew/creatives. The rest was auto butyl and bits of rubber and piping and stuff.

The set was struck and, as with the helmet, the bits went to their respective owners or the trash. Even the wall flats.

The stuff in the attache' case:

The prop pistol was returned to the armorer.

The POLYBLANK POINTING HANDS hands 

The parabolic microphone lives in a storage unit with select props from other projects.

Sadly, the pigeon is likely dead. It was a well taken care of racing bird, fully trained and treated like royalty, but they don't live very long and it's been more than a decade :/

The 2600htz whistle was kindly donated to the project by an unnamed source whose possession of it I will neither confirm nor deny. If you wonder what this means, look up 2600hz cap'n crunch whistle on the intertron.

We're especially curious about the fate of the Director prop(s).

For 300/1200 Baud Buyman, The Director was made out of foam board, and, unfortunately, didn't survive the transition into present time.

The rest of the set dress and props are, as well, all disposed of. Except for a giant cereal box front, that lives in storage.

I'm also curious about any remnants of old PAX East 2014 props and merchandise, but that might've been more in Necrophone Games' hands than Imagos Films'.

All of that is with NG. The only thing we had to do with their presence at PAX was a few pictures of us stopping by their booth and bumming around with them.

The 2014 trailer is called Project Pigeon in the Flickr album documenting the set. In the 2016 trailer's behind-the-scenes video, the composer Ryan Ike refers to it as Project Switchhook. Who named them and how were the names chosen? 

Imagos has a tiered naming structure for commercial projects:

CLIENT  -> PRODUCT -> PROJECT -> TITLE

CLIENT = Client (obviously) PRODUCT = Thing the spot is about PROJECT = The specific spot. We may do several spots for one product, so this is how we differentiate. TITLE = The actual spot title.

For the FIRST Jazzpunk spot, the breakdown is like this:

CLIENT = Adult Swim Games / Necrophone Games PRODUCT = Jazzpunk PROJECT = #projectpigeon TITLE = Johnny

For the SECOND Jazzpunk spot:

CLIENT = Necrophone Games PRODUCT = Jazzpunk PROJECT = #projectswitchhook TITLE = 300/1200 Baud Buyman

Who named them and how were the names chosen? 

Anything you see with a "#project" prefix is the PROJECT name. These project names tend to be silly or abstract. This is mostly because some of our projects need to be secret as we shoot them.

I write all of our work, and, as such, name the projects. Much to the confusion and frustration of my business partners :)

In the 2016 trailer's behind-the-scenes video, the composer Ryan Ike refers to it as Project Switchhook. 

A switchhook is an old phone term. It was a physical switch set into a hook for hanging your receiver on. It was an analogue electrical circuit, and could be manipulated by phone phreaks to, you know, DO TEH HACKINGZ. 

Similarly, where did the other title for the 2016 trailer, "300-1200 Baud Buyman," come from?

A baud rate is the rate at which a modem transfers data. Analogue modems used to use these baud rates as indicators of speed or bandwidth, in marketing, much as modern broadband connections use megabit or gigabit ratings.

Without getting too technical, analogue modems transfer data as 1s and 0s by flipping signal frequencies to represent state changes. This is the dumbest way to say this, but a baud rate of 300 means that 300 signal changes can take place per second of connected time. 1200 baud is 1200 signal changes per second.

A top of the line phone modem in the late 80s/early 90s could band between 300 and 1200 baud. Kingmakers and 1337 h4x0rz might have been able to convince their parents to get into a 1440 baud modem. If they were lucky.

This is all pre-millenium phone phreak/hacker stuff. I was exactly the right age, in exactly the right place to have been swept up into all of that as my form of teenage rebellion.

The Jazzpunk world is a cyberpunk inspired pre-digital hackerverse, and I grew up in the height of that, and leaned on those things for the scripts.

The Director is jumping though time, buying goods at a low price and selling them at a high price in the future. In the spot's narrative, that's how the entire endeavor is being funded. He is, however, causing massive inflation in the process.

And he's using a 300/1200 baud modem to transfer himself back into the past, because that is the technology that existed.

#projectpigeon is named such because the pigeon. In the spot. The spot has a pigeon in it.

The 2016 trailer's IMDB page lists someone named Chris Morson as the voice actor for the Director. Is this true? Additionally, do you happen to know who voiced the Editor in the game, or any other voice actors?

Chris is an INCREDIBLE actor. I've worked with him several times, and every one of them has been incredible. Yes, he plays the voice of The Director in the spot, but has nothing to do with the game. 

As well, I also have/had nothing to do with the VO in the game. A shame, because I would be super proud if I had!

Did you/Imagos Films make anything else for Jazzpunk?

Unfortunately, no. I would love to, of course. That series of spots is truly a wonderful time.

I have attached the script for both Johnny and 300/1200 Baud Buyman as a little gift. Enjoy.

[transfem-breeder]

How do you feel about trans guys who are into Detrans/misgendering

TLDR: I love you. Read on if you want the long version.

I have mixed feelings about the whole detrans kink. I have seen a lot of detrans and fakeboy blogs. I understand kink, I’ve got some not pretty kinks too. I used to be a submissive femboy who would get off having sex with men who would degrade me and a as tell me I would never be a woman. The sex was fucking amazing. And sometimes I still want that.

I also thing that transmasc femboys are fucking hot. It is 💯 ok to feel gender dysphoria about being female and still like feminine things. I know it’s not the same, but it is in the same ball park.

The problem is that a lot of the general public sees being trans as a sickness. They think we can be cured and returned to being normal. When in fact only about 13% of people detrans and less than 1% of trans ppl who get gender affirming surgery regret the decision.

I guess I’m saying that in someways the detrans kink plays into that stereotype. It is also a kink that is solely within ourcommunity and as such it is something we own. It’s one thing if a transmasc talks about being fucked female. It’s another thing if a straight cis guy talks about r@ping a tboy back to being a woman.

It’s a complicated subject. This is a nsft blog and I write sexy things. I write about fucking tboys. I sometimes write about fucking fem tboys, but I’m going to continue to refer to transmascs as boys even when I talk about sex. I won’t misgender you or do detrans content, but mommy will adopt and adore uou.

[carrythatwayt]

Before The Beginning ✨️Color Theory✨️

Okay, this will be pretty long, tldr: everything is a mirror of everything. All opinions are my own after I was caught between the twin forces of memories from my art and film theory classes. All screenshots thanks to the great folks at cap-that.com

I'm going to start after "Let there be light" for obvious reasons, up until that point the lighting is bright but cold and white. The nebula gives us a diegetic (in scene) reason for the shifting and intense colors but I think it's really interesting to see how it was used to reinforce this universe-changing conversation.

"Look at you, you're gorgeous!"

The nebula is only beginning to throw off color, and what's the first thing that happens? Makes it appear like Aziraphale's wings are blushing when he realizes the compliment was not meant for him (and seriously, how adorable is he).

As the conversation winds on and Crowley excitedly decribes the nebula, colorful light is increasingly projected onto the angels, but not the background. This visually ties them together and the intensity of colors seems purposeful as well, since they immediately begins to cool and dim as Aziraphale explains the less-than-stellar purpose behind the star factory.

"What's the point in creating an infinite universe.... if you're only going to let it run a few thousand years?"

Two really interesting things happen here. A star-burst reminiscent of a halo explodes and dissipates behind Angel Crowley's head, and when his wings droop in disappointment, a small cloud of red can be seen appearing behind his left wing.

As Aziraphale attempts to explain the ineffable but all-important Earth and humans, he begins to gather an aura of gold, baby pink, and baby blue. Crowley's red cloud of confusion also continues to intensify as he listens.

"But that's idiocy!"

The reddish clouds of confusion and doubt really begin to pick up speed now as Angel Crowley vents his frustration and beats his wings hard in agitation (also, shout out to how ruffled his feathers become because it's a whole mood in itself).

Here's where things get dangerous.

"Someone has to say "Look Boss, this is a really terrible idea..."

The red cloud has become a roiling crimson storm filling half the frame beyond Crowley and casting dark red light on his face. Meanwhile Aziraphale's background stubbornly hangs onto its cool colors, now opal and turquoise.

"I don't suppose anyone could object to me putting a note in the suggestion box..."

The nebula's red gas has now completely filled Crowley's frames, surrounding him on all sides. The next interesting thing occurs behind Aziraphale.

"I don't think it's our place to start suggesting...!"

In contrast to Crowley's red cloud of doubt, I've been calling this Aziraphale's red ball of anxiety (hello my old friend). He is deeply perturbed by this line of conversation and as he is explaining that the Almighty doesn't have, and likely wouldnt appreciate a suggestion box, this red light floats from behind his wing to behind his head (again, mood).

"If I was the one running it all..."

The saturation of Crowley's red background has lessened a bit, but Aziraphale's Red Ball of Anxiety reaches its peak intensity at this statement as Aziraphale nervously casts his gaze around to see if any other angels heard this borderline blasphemy.

"How much trouble could I get into just for asking a few questions?"

While Angel Crowley is still firmly framed by the red cloud, its disrupted by pale light cast by baby stars or proto-planets, as if it was being leavened by his irrepressible optimism.

For his part, we leave Aziraphale in a riot of both warm and cool colors: golds, greens, pinks, purples... This makes absolute sense to me, seing as it highlights the riot of emotions Aziraphale goes through, beginning with raw concern for Crowley's safety but resolving to a frankly breathtaking amount of affection and admiration. Seriously, zoom in and become unwell with me.

Well, that's all folks! Cheers to you if you stuck it out this far, hope literally any of my rambling and possible derangement was interesting to literally any one else 😅

[hiddenwashington]

with the last year being potentially the bloodiest yet for all those entrapped within the city, the cheer of the new year, a fresh start and some hope for improvement is exactly what everyone needs. though it's certainly hard to put any stock in hope for a peaceful year in this city. and while the galas held at the white house have a mixed history of success, and an unfortunate history of tragedy, the ones that go over well tend to be incredible mood lifters. a masquerade ball is always a hit, and they will be going all out to help everyone forget the horrors the last year has held, and to wipe away the stain of last valentine's day's bloody nightmare. to change it up a bit, those in charge have decided that, rather than hosting the event at the white house, they are going to be hosting a fundraiser for the smithsonian museum. invitations are sent out to the entire city, beautiful pale pink and silver cards detailing the location and date of the masked ball being held. bring your beloved, your best friend, or sign up for a blind date if you're feeling a bit adventurous! the museum is decked out, lit entirely by strings of lights and candles, the entire place turned into a hall of mirrors decorated in pinks and reds, with roses falling from the ceiling and and covering the tables. to entertain the guests, there's a photo booth with various props and backdrops, professional photographers roaming the area, live music, and plenty of food and drink for everyone. hopefully this will be a suitable close to an otherwise disastrous year, and a way for everyone to forget their troubles for a while.

tldr ; almost as a thank you for those who have stuck through the nightmares that have come with living in washington, those in charge have put together another gala, an evening of nothing but dancing and fun to try and lighten the spirits of the citizens as we continue on in this new year. those who have signed up for a blind date will be finding out their partner from their invitation and we hope to see everyone there in their valentine's day best!

OOC INFORMATION

hi friends !!! welcome to another hidden mini event !!! we've somehow already had 5 of them and we are so excited to bring you our 6th one !! we wanted to mix things up a bit, bring you guys a different element to a classic rp ball event with these blind dates so we hope you all took advantage of that if you wanted to participate! we are so excited to get this moving and see how all the drama unfolds from inside the museum walls! we hope you all enjoy this as much as we did putting it together ♥

DATES

it will run from feb 10th - feb 21st

this event will last eleven days ooc , but one night in character

WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THE BALL

a basic layout of the smithsonian : we will be using the museum of natural history for this event! the main gala will be held on the first floor, the rotunda being used as the dance floor, the rest of the museum is still open to those in attendance, your characters are free to explore all that it has to offer, from the dinosaurs, to the live butterflies, to the night sky exhibit-- please feel free to use this map to help you navigate the setting! there is also a ton of information on the smithsonian website about each exhibit!

food and drink : free food, an open bar, candy bowls and sweets available to everyone! any valentine's treat you can think of has been sourced and provided for all to enjoy!

dancing : of course this is a gala, so go wild during a faster number, or finally extend an invitation to someone special to dance to one of the slower songs. request songs from the band and enjoy in every way you can!

outfits : dress to impress, wear that gown you’ve been eyeing for far too long, don your best masquerade mask, find your best suit, whatever fits your style best. and feel free to post outfits and looks now if you so please!! we'd love to see what everyone wears!!

get creative : this is just a new setting, with something new to work with! you do not have to adhere to any real guidelines, beyond 'remember the rules of the rp'. so if you wanna do something really off the wall, maybe dm an admin. otherwise, there's more guests than agents and security, if you wanna try to ride that t-rex skeleton, just make sure your date is keeping watch!

most of all, have fun : we want this to be a creative outlet, so please, if there is something that you think could be at this ball, be it a game, food, etc, we’re open to it !! also, feel free to have your characters make up their own drama, to go a little wild, cut loose !! just keep it within the realm of possibilities, we don’t want anyone escorted out before the party has really begun!

BLIND DATES

if you submitted your character for the blind dates , please follow this link to find your matches!

please review your pairings and let us know if we missed you, or if you've been matched up with the same writer too many times, or for any reason that you may need a new match!

be sure that you reach out to your blind date partner so that you can both plot together and get on the same page about the vibe between characters, and how it will go! we want this to be a chance for you to mix up who you usually write with, so please be sure to branch out with these new pairings!

QUICK HOUSEKEEPING :

one stop shop for all your plotting, posting and tagging questions !!

feel free to begin plotting now! you can post plotting calls, starter calls, outfit edits or anything of the like !! just remember to keep any in character posts saved for the 10th!

we usually start the events around 10-11 am est / 2-3pm gmt , so please keep that in mind when queuing any starters !! you’re probably best off queuing for around 12pm est/4pm gmt!

unlike our full events, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PUT OTHER THREADS ON HOLD! you are more than welcome to continue to write outside of the event !!

feel free to have your characters begin talking about the invitations, the excitement, or asking people to go with them if they are not going on a blind date! so, feel free to begin plotting and getting everything sorted for when the event begins!

please tag all posts (in character , out of character , para , etc ) with hwminievent6, or with "valentine's ball", "valentine's gala", something to indicate that those threads are taking place in the mini event, since people will be doing both event and regular threads!

please please remember to still tag all triggers that may apply!!

again, this is a MINI EVENT and therefore NOT MANDATORY

as always, please make sure to have fun & feel free to really cut loose besties!! we hope that you and your characters find something to enjoy at the ball! we cannot wait to see what different ideas you all come up with and cannot wait to see your threads on the dash! please do not hesitate to ask any questions that may arise & let us know if you have any suggestions or need help! with that all said, as always, PLEASE LIKE THIS WHEN YOU HAVE READ IT ALL! ♥

[spopsalt]

Rewrote spop's ending!

This is a long post! Rewrite under the cut, if you want the TLDR 1. Glimmadora becomes canon. 2. Adora saved the world as Adora with the help of the princesses. 3. Catra is in the crimson waste with a girlfriend 4. Changed a bunch of dialogue 5. Made Horde Prime have more depth than just evilllllll 6. Bow and Swiftwind help Adora as well 7. Glimmer's confession, her other friends support and Angella's last words are what caused Adora to fight against Horde Prime's influence and absorb the failsafe

Glimmer was walking for what seemed like hours, she was trying to find Adora, and she wouldn't let her face this on her own. She finally found Adora. She ran over "Adora!" She was on the ground and Glimmer held onto her "Adora...?" Adora looked at her with teary eyes and spoke in what was barely above a whisper "I'm sorry..." Glimmer's eyes widened "Adora! Please transfer into She-Ra! That's the only way you can survive!" Adora said "I...can't....Horde Prime's virus is stopping me from transforming into She-Ra..." Tears formed in Glimmer's eyes "No. No. No. No! It can't....you're going to make it through this Adora..." Adora shook her head "Glimmer...you need to go...I need to do this on my own..."

Glimmer shook her head "No. I'm not going to leave you. I told you I would stay by your side no matter what, and that's I'm going to do." Tears formed in Adora's eyes "Glimmer..." Adora tried to reach Glimmer with shaky hands, but they just fell back to the ground. Glimmer held back her tears and held onto Adora tightly. "I got you Adora...no matter what." Adora's eyes closed and Glimmer said "Adora...? Adora?!"

Adora imagined herself in a white gown. Glimmer walked over to her in a pink dress that faded into purple with sparkle designs. "Hi Adora! Are you done getting ready? We're about to be late to Scropia's ball!" Adora smiled "I'm ready." She reached out for Glimmer's hand but Glimmer turned into Horde Prime, he smiled "Awww Adora, what a sweet dream. You are so confused, I'm here to save Etheria." Adora began walking back "No...no! You're evil! Your idea of saving Etheria is making everyone just like you!" Horde Prime walked closer to her, Adora tried to walk back but bumped into a wall while Horde Prime laughed "Why of course, I am perfect after all. Don't worry, your future will be happier this way." The background behind Adora shattered revealing just a black void while Adora cried.

She could hear Glimmer's voice "Adora, you are so strong and you will get through this!" Bow ran in on Swiftwind and Adora could hear Bow's voice "Adora you have to do this!" She could hear Swiftwind's voice "Adora, you're our friend! We know you can do this! Please fight it!" Adora said, "You guys...you have to leave...." Adora begged. Glimmer's grip on her tightened "No, we're not leaving you! Everyone's here for you!" Swiftwind said "We are never giving up on you! You're our friend! You don't give up on friends!" Bow continued "Exactly! We'll never give up on you Adora! All of us believe in you! You can do this! All of your friends are here for you! You have to fight it!" Adora cried "Please...leave...you're going to get hurt." Glimmer said "No, please Adora! You can do this! We need you!" The tears Glimmer had been holding back were starting to fall "I need you..."

Adora groaned "Glimmer..." Glimmer said "Adora please..." Bow chimed in "You have to fight!" Glimmer said "Adora, please...I was never able to tell you that I...I..." She held Adora close "I love you...Adora...I love you more than anyone else..." Adora's eyes widened. She remembered Angella's last request "Take care of each other...Glimmer....I...I won't give up on you..." Memories of Bow, Glimmer, Swiftwind, and Angella flew through Adora's mind with all of their support, she attempted to resist the Horde Prime's influence, and try to absorb the failsafe without dying "Not on Bow...not on Swiftwind...not on Etheria...Not. On. Myself!" Adora thrashed and struggled "Adora?!" Glimmer asked. Adora was breathing heavily "I can do this...I can do this!" All of the green scars on Adora's face vanished, she absorbed the power of the failsafe, and her eyes fluttered open. She took out her sword and stabbed the ground, waves of life and light covered the world.

Glimmer was smiling so wide her cheeks were hurting "Adora!" Glimmer said, hugging Adora, crying tears of joy. Bow hugged Adora as well while Swiftwind gave her a nose bump. "You're ok!" Adora smiled, hugging them back. "Thanks, Bow...Glimmer...Swiftwind...thank you guys so much...for supporting me...for not giving up on me..." She looked at Glimmer and smiled "You love me...?" Glimmer blushed and looked to the side, rubbing her neck "Well...uhm...I..." Adora smiled "Glimmer...I love you too..." Glimmer looked at Adora, with her eyes wide. Adora placed her hand on Glimmer's cheek and kissed her. Glimmer held onto Adora, and kissed her back. Adora smiled "I love you so much Glimmer...but there's one more thing I must do." She stood up, walked, found the princesses, and told everyone else the plan and she walked over to Horde Prime, everyone following her close behind.

Adora walked over to Horde Prime. while Glimmer followed. She looked at Horde Prime, took a deep breath, and said "I surrender myself to you." She got on her knees and put her hands up. Horde Prime smiled, "Looks like you finally came to your senses. With She-Ra, Prime will easily rise again." Horde Prime walked over to her and Adora held onto his arms. "Glimmer, Mermista, Perfuma, Sea Hawk, Scropia Bow, Swiftwind, everyone go!" Perfuma restrained him with vines, while Mermista threw water on him, Bow shot him while everyone else, including Adora, with her newfound powers due to the failsafe, attacked him. After a while, he fell to the ground. brutally beaten and bruised. He looked up at Adora. "You're making a huge mistake! I make everyone's lives better! I'm saving them!" Adora stared at him coldly and took out her sword.

After that, Horde Prime was gone. Catra, somewhere in the crimson waste felt her chip go off, and save the crimson waste around her, restored to how it was before. She looked up at the sky, smiled, and said "I knew you could do it. Adora." Catra's girlfriend ran behind Catra and hugged her, while Catra smiled and held onto her hand.

Adora smiled and hugged Glimmer, and Bow. "Thank you guys so much. Bow you are the best friend anyone can ask for, and Glimmer, I couldn't be prouder to be your girlfriend." Bow smiled, while Glimmer blushed. Adora went to Swiftwind and pet him "Swiftwind, you are an amazing stead, thank you all." Bow smiled "Of course Adora! You're our friend." Adora hugged them all, with a big smile on her face.

[miki-13]

Continueing on from this- Hopeless with Technology (Yet here I am for some reason) (Will I (tumblr.com)

Beware, there are spoilers below from leaks for Indigo Disk/Disc!

So for Dokutaro aka Pokemon!Peach Boy expe, I noticed that on the signboards it shows a trainer beside them (and the ogre looks like Ogerpon and her companion used together) I’ll bet anything Dokutaro influenced/possessed that trainer and acted as retainer to the toxic trio/lousy three.

Hell, the small orb beside the trainer’s hand could very well be Dokutaro rather than a poke-ball.

It makes sense for Dokutaro to influence a trainer, considering how humans have always brought out the potential of Pokemon and allowed them to grow stronger than if they were in the wild. It would be the quickest way to grow in strength, smarts, looks and prestige.

Add onto the various achievements of the human race and how they live in general comfort, it would look very tempting to Dokutaro

Momotaro peach Pokemon attaches itself onto strong humans to carry out it’s desires.

It’s last host was the human trainer beside the Toxic Trio.

It’s current host is Kieran.

And once we beat Kieran again…

We could become it’s next host.

Scary shit right???

Buuuuut all may not be lost because another idea hit me.

The player offers themselves to Kokutaro to save Kieran. The poor kid is getting more and more poisoned over time by their fusion/deal/unknown possession, and will eventually leave Dokutaro exposed.

So the player pulls a Yoh.

Yoh specifically as in Yoh Asakura from Shaman King.

TLDR: Shakan King’s power system uses ghosts, fairies, undead and the like to fight alongside the living and help commune between both planes.

A rogue ghost- Tokagero, who was killed by Yoh’s ghost partner, the samurai Amidamaru- possesses a delinquent named Wooden Sword Ryu and tries to get revenge on Amidamaru.

However the longer he possesses a non-shaman, the quicker that Ryu’s body dies and will expel Tokagero.

To save Ryu and quell Tokagero's grudge, Yoh offers his body to him to be possessed. Even with the chance that Tokagero would use Yoh’s body to hurt and kill, Yoh still offered it.

Tokagero exits Ryu’s body and enters Yoh…

and for a moment, Tokagero is full prepared to kill and maim with Yoh’s body, as he gave Tokagero full control to everyone’s horror.

But then…

Despite everything that happened, the player risked their life to save Kieran.

Despite everything, they brought Dokutaro into their body with complete trust.

I don't know why Dokutaro gave their power to the Lousy Three, or why they possessed Kieran. All I can do is speculate.

But the fact that Dokutaro can "grant wishes" means that it tries to make others' desires come true. Giving them what they want... but not what they need.

Strength, wisdom and beauty for the Toxic Trio.

The power to defeat a rival for Kieran.

All surface level-wants that don't do anything to address their deeper issues and/or trauma.

But the player is the first human to welcome Dokutaro into themselves without a wish, with only the sincere desire to help their friend and even the Pokemon who hurt him to give them.

Instead of granting a wish, Dokutaro gets their wish granted by the player.

And Kieran is given the chance to heal and contemplate the realization that the player's heart was what made Ogerpon want to be beside them, and what guided them to victory.

And he and Carmine can finally start to heal together.

[theshifterofrealms]

OKAY. So I was just listening to Ivycomb's "Suspend My Belief" (which is an amazing song btw go listen to it if you haven't already) and one particular part caught my eye.

It's all a lie

Why should I even try

If I'm just an A.I

Tryna play the bad guy

And while this is in-character for Gummigoo, somehow, it got me thinking about a certain theory about our favorite bastard bunny, Jax. One that says he could be an A.I. And I thought on it a bit more, and remembered something. In the first episode, when they find Kaufmo abstracted (rip) Jax grabs a bowling ball and says something along the lines of "Oh, hey, I was looking for this, thanks for keeping it safe, Kaufy." And then teleports. And who else do we know for a fact can teleport? Caine! We see Caine teleport to pluck Pomni out of the void.

Not to mention, Gooseworx did at one point mention "seeing something incredibly close to something that happens in the show" which could be literally anything, but the evidence so far lines up. And if the theory is true, it'll only continue to do so.

TLDR: Listened to Gummigoo song and thought about the likelihood of Jax being and A.I which is pretty good so far

[paula-dot-jpg]

hand over the tpot 15 thoughts...naowwwww!!!!

Okay where to begin I have. A LOT

TPOT 15 spoilers ahead for those who have not seen

ONEONEONEONEONEONEONEONEONEONEONEONEONEONE. so creature. so fascinating. so conniving. still so full of mystery. Like. she can do all of that, what does she want with Two/their show/their powers exactly????? I need to study her brain. what do we not know....

PENCIL. She's so fascinating to me I need to put her in a bottle and shake her around. I have found her conflict with Golf Ball to be very fun, I love when two of my faves are at war. This episode, I find her desperation for a sense of control, purpose, normalcy, another chance, to be VERY compelling. I think it is very easy for people to think that she might see the other people that she is/was once friends with as tools, but I think she genuinely does care, she just seems to have a sort of disconnect. While Book has been able to reflect on how her actions have negatively affected others and that she can move on, Pencil can't, or is at least unwilling to. She's hung up with the past while Book can accept change. Last night I sketched out a storyboard for an animation/animatic to a song that likely won't see the light of day but I needed to pour it out of my brain.

CHEESE ORB MENTION????????????

PROTOTYPE BFB HOST MENTION??????????

Literally nobody I've seen online has talked about these things yet which I don't understand why because I'm OBSESSED WITH THEM. THE CRITTERS

FANNY'S SO HAPPY TO SEE BUBBLE FOR THAT SPLIT SECOND YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY that moment was really sweet.

This episode has given me a lot to think about in regard to lore and timelines. I was not expecting Total Firey Island or BFDI mini to be mentioned and seem to be part of the main timeline? To me the timeline shenanigans this episode could also explain some of the details, like the amount of times Gelatin and Spongy were mentioned to have been eliminated (or for Gelatin's case a lack thereof) before the continuation of BFDIA. At first I had considered "what if they don't consider BFDIA to be a true season/game so they don't consider that to be a proper elimination. Like it was all void because of the sort of haphazardous way it was put together in canon, like the constant changing of hosts or the farm Dream Island." Those COULD now be considered blips in the timeline from time meddling shenanigans. Much to consider

Also obligitory OHHHHHH MY GOD PUFFBALL AND FRIES WERE NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN LIKE 2 FRAMES EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PLOT

TLDR I had a lot of fun with TPOT 15 and also my brain exploded. It's very likely I will have more to say later just because so much happened.

[brofightiscancelled]

mr rice can u please share your thoughts on ososan s1 and 2 vs s3 differences , like the direction they went that was less meta referencing the reboot nature of the show, and more on the mundanity and sisyphean nature of being directionless young adults (who are also virgins). Personally the bits focused more on the mundane were rlly good I think. U dont wanna see the matsus do chores? Play hide and seek? i personally enjoyed it. also, your omusubi thoughts if u have any?

i could probably write a thesis paper on this, and idk how having watched all 3 seasons back to back in the year of our lord 2024 affects my opinions, but ill try to keep it brief (1029 word stream of consciousness )

tldr: S3 lost sight of The Bit

dont get it twisted i LOVE slice of life stuff. i like characters. season 3 had some of my all-time favorite segments (pizza, the way home, mt takao). however to me what felt off about the season was moreso like… the Ratios. the Overall Season Balance, Ebb and Flow, it was all wrong. s3's skits were as a whole longer, fewer, and less funny. i did tier lists of every single segment from each season and i was shocked how fewer segments s3 had compared to s1. theyre too freaking long. and not even funny!!!

i didn't realize how.. idk stale? s3 was getting until cosplaymatsu and then i was fucking gulping for fresh air like FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING OUT-OF-CONTINUITY BITS!!!!!!!!!!! 

the thing is to me i think the Bit should trump all. s1 finale took this very literally, trampling all over the emotional cliffhanger for the Bit, but i think s2 finale also valued the bit of "well s2 is over so all that's left to do is die" while also retaining the emotional flow of facing mortality. i think s2 had the best finale for this reason btw. but ask me aboit that separately

to me osomatsu-san's Core Bit, at least that it started out with in s1, is "-kun is about these sextuplets being identical, so it's funny that they're all different as adults". the differences between them was in and of itself a punchline!! six same face!! to me as soon as you lose sight of this you lose my interest. no -kun flashback for s3e1 was a death keel. also, fuck you inumatsu

s2 took this core bit and ran with it a little further, now a little more confident in their characterizations they used the differing personalities as new comedy material. it's probably the platonic ideal of how ososan can combine its identities of "60's anime remake" and "jyushimatsu cordyceps"

i think s3's bit is, if there is one, at best, "there is no joke. we deadass just haven't done anything of value". which i just don't think is a good bit. it's one note, it's not versatile, and it gets dangerously close to being at the audience's expense- i think you can convey the lethargy and sisyphean existence without also making the audience feel like they wasted their time (i.e. the absolute worst sin a piece of media could commit). So the bit isn't good and they're not even dedicated to it in a way that matters. 

"does there have to be a bit" well yes! I think so. it's a gag anime. i guess that's the crux of my argument. if you dont have the balls to commit to character development you MUST commit to the bit. i think s3 fell flat for me bc it couldnt commit to anything

i watched osomatsu-san with a dear friend of mine who, bless their heart, still can't tell the sextuplets apart 3 seasons 2 mini serieses every bonus episode and 4 movies later. but they could still enjoy s1 and s2 because the matsus and their personalities were vehicles for the punchline- not the focus. as soon as they started writing about the matsus themselves and losing sight of the Bigger Picture (the bit) they got very lost. and im aware theyre an outliar viewer but i don't think it's unrelated. 

i think mt takao is a good summary of this issue. there's no bit- we're just slice of life moments with the brothers. but then tbey feel like they need to make a joke, lest people start expecting them to actually let these boys find happiness, so they just do a "and then we all died, jk, we can't actually accomplish anything of value" punchline at the end. it's a disservice to people who are invested in the characters, and for people who aren't, it's just not funny!

omusubi thoughts: theyre cutes. i could tell watching them that they were probably quite disliked for derailing the season so i immediately became like, fans in a hater way. lol 

i think their core bit is good: showa anime meets modern robots who don't Get It. but their storyline doesn't tie into their Bit, and its attempted tie-ins with the sextuplets never emotionally resonated. episode 12 was, affectionately, a huge waste of time (though the sheeh payoff made me woop and holler) considering i couldnt even get over my suspension of disbelief that the sextuplets would actually give a shit enough about them as People to bust their asses saving them (which, after their self actualization, they clearly still were treating them like machines. so it's like yeah i knew that shit was fake)

but like yeah after that they weren't their Bit anymore. they just became characters. maybe that's the summary of my issue w s3? no one is their Bit anymore. everyone's so attached to the Characters now that no one values the Bit anymore. we've gone so far into gap moe that ichimatsu isnt even scary anymore. if rental girlfriends had happened in s3 it'd be totty with the tiger cage 

but anyways. omusubi are interesting to me because i said earlier how s3 doesnt want to commit to anything, but it does seem like they wanted to commit to telling full character arcs, but had trapped the sextuplets into a Popularity-Induced Personality Prison where they've become too popular to meaningfully change, so they tried to do it with new characters and side charas (nyaa single mother arc peak). so like… i enjoyed the omusubi character arc bc it was at least something solid to grasp onto in this season with writing more fleeting than sand 

(but again, it still got invalidated and didn't matter in the end!)

in the end it is hard to cheer for characters if you know fucking nothing will matter in the end (very similar to my aggretsuko review i wrote in my head and didn't post anywhere), so if they're not at least funny about it i'm like What's the point.

a faustian tale, etc  

[hopelessrromantix]

where i've been

TLDR: Life sucks and so does the government. Half my family got hit with some pricey medical bills plus our normal rent, so donating or sharing this would be beyond appreciated.

I know you’re all thinking “Roman! You haven’t written anything in a month, what’s going on?” First, valid question. Second, dear GOD where do I start.

Let’s keep things simple. This past month has been the literal definition of hell for me. Everything started off fairly normal, until my two remaining grandparents started having frequent hospital trips. My father spent most of his time caring for them, living mostly at their house. Given that he works most in our house, he wasn’t having an easy time. He ended up developing what his doctor said was “stress tremors”, to the point that he went on disability.

Well, even after my grandparents were a bit more stable (though still on close watch)... they continued anyway. Eventually it got so bad my mother drove him to the hospital one night and what do you know, brain tumor.

Queue several days of our family wondering what the everloving fuck we’d do without my Dad. It was several days of my dear mother (note the sarcasm) trying to control everything, my brother trying to continue school, and me taking care of the house and our pets.

We got the scans back not long after and, cue sigh of relief, the tumor was benign. It still seemed to be draining the life out of my father, though. The nurses and doctors were absolutely floored because his tumor was absolutely huge but he had no headaches. Imagine a baseball in your head. Yeah, exactly. He did however stare at the wall for hours and had a hard time getting out more than a few words. It’s probably one of my most heartbreaking memories to watch the strongest person I’ve ever known reduced to a husk on a hospital bed.

Brain surgery came soon after. He made it through and is currently in recovery. He’s speaking actual sentences, though he’s still got tremors and needs a lot of help. Still, I’m just happy to have my father.

That same week, we noticed my cat acting off. We have two of them and my cat, Gallifrey, is a talkative sweetheart who’s attached to me at the hip. But he was meowing differently and acting weird and all around not normal. One vet visit later and we find out he has kidney disease and pancreatitis. He’s being treated for it (new food, possible meds, regular fluid injections, etc.), but he’s still not himself yet. Talk about my life falling apart. This on its own my family couldn’t even begin to afford. The government seems to hate disabled people and paying for numerous doctor’s visits wasn’t remotely in our paper thin budget, much less the meds and treatment.

It was a lot all at once, and not even close to what we expected. Gallifrey is only 7 and my father didn’t show the typical signs of a brain tumor. So, I guess the universe thought “Y’know, this is a perfect time to kick Roman in the fucking balls”.

Routine testosterone blood test, just monitoring… until I got a call from the doctor. Turns out I have some untreated issues that none of my previous doctors caught. In fact, the only reason she caught it was because it was so severe. According to her she was shocked I’m still up and kicking and not in the hospital for a blood transfusion. Apparently my red blood cell count and oxygen level is insanely low, and she asked me to take a Covid test (negative), so it turns out it’s a completely different issue. I’m still in the process of diagnosing it, so that was a fun little addition. With my chronic pain and my mother in denial, I sleep most of the day and am in constant pain the entire time.

I’ll be real, I’m not a fan of asking for money. It’s not something I like, but it’s something I have to do. The amount of treatment we need, my dad, Gallifrey, and me, is more than we can hope to afford on our salaries (thank you, American healthcare!). The medical process in this country is a joke.

I’m asking y’all to help me out. Sharing, donating, whatever. Everyone around me has been kind and supportive, and I'm beyond thankful for that. If you can’t donate, please send it, share it, do whatever, I'll take absolutely anything. If I’m honest? The number I’m asking still won’t cover it, but anything is helpful.

Thank you for reading this far, thank you for sharing, for donating, for being kind, for absolutely everything.

I also understand that the internet is a horrible, despicable place, so I can give any breakdowns of what the money would be used for and give any medical info (not releasing family names or locations) to provide proof. The page includes a lovely little x-ray of my father’s head so you get to see the absolute insanity. If this isn’t enough please let me know and I can link anything else needed to confirm that yes, I am actually having the worst time of my life.

All in all? Thank you.

Donate here if you can <3

[serpentinesheldonserpentine]

While you were busy either rejoicing or lamenting two recent sad, unnecessary prosecutions and convictions, the real news has proceeded as scheduled .

1. The prosecution of Senator Robert “Gold Bar Bob” Menendez (Democrat, The Jerz) continues.

His pathetic 'blame the wife' tactic is destined to fail. Bobby’s a Democrat. So much for a weaponized DOJ.

2. Lemme tug on your coat for one more sec, wouldya?

While you were either burning your flag or flying it upside down, the Deep State suspended funding to EcoHealthAlliance as a result of continuing investigation into the origins of the COVID-19 virus that killed so may of our loved ones.

I have determined that the immediate suspension of EHA is necessary to protect the public interest,” wrote Henrietta K. Brisbon, a health department official, referring to EcoHealth Alliance She cited problems in EcoHealth’s monitoring of work done at the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

Are we breaking a butterfly upon a wheel here? You can make a persuasive argument that it’s easier to discipline a USA based lab than to punish China. And you’d be right.

TLDR: Yep, a lab leak. Just as the FBI determined a year ago. Any other theory is batshit crazy. Sorry tender types.

3. Bonus, ripped from today’s headlines:

F.A.A. Investigating How Counterfeit Titanium Got Into Boeing and Airbus Jets

The material, which was purchased from a little-known Chinese company, was sold with falsified documents and used in parts that went into jets from both manufacturers.

Slow Joe’s China tariff plan will successfully raise prices but will not stop fraud. By the way Mr. President, didn't your predecessor initiate these tariffs? You remember him, the’ Xenophobe'?

Day after day I’m more confused.

[lazyvase]

@purplekoop

One of the role swaps in your tier quickly caught my curiosity: Widowmaker as a tank. She would have not been one of my first picks for tank. She’s a sniper. She’s rather skinny. She’s not well padded in the slightest. Making her a tank would be impossible. Which is exactly what makes this so fun. I quickly began brainstorming. Trying to wrap my head around how someone with her body type and play style could be a tank. Then, I had the idea of continuing her spider motif in a brand new exciting way.

First of all, there’s no reason for Widowmaker to be a sniper. The name Widowmaker came from having killed her husband in his sleep. I doubt she used a sniper rifle for that. So instead of being genetically altered to become a better sniper, she is modified in a different way.

Amelie Lacroix is given giant robotic spider legs.

They would attach around her torso. Completely enveloping her normal legs. She would have eight legs, not six. I hate it when they do that. (Although if we're being realistic Blizzard would only give her four). She would also have a rectangular, almost coffin-shaped, abdomen. The normal parts of her body could still be her usual outfit. She absolutely must keep her helmet. Her right arm is a gun, like Megaman. He left arm has a shining purple blade attached to it.

Her primary fire is still kinda a sniper shot. It's a hitscan with a very thin area, and you can't headshot with it. However, you can charge it (akin to Winston, Illari, or Symmetra), and once fully charged it afflicts poison on the hero hit. It's unleashed from the gun on her arm. It's called Bite.

To fully capture her spider side, Widowmaker is more focused on disruption than protection. Her secondary fire is Web Wall. Two pairs of her legs lift up and create a spiderweb wall right in front of Widowmaker. There's a little animation of her creating the web, so it doesn't create instantly. However, she has two charges of it. I don't the size of it, but I imagine it to be taller than Sigma's shield but not longer. More of a square shape. The properties of the web wall are my favorite. The web wall does not stop any projectiles or bullets. All damage thrown at the wall passes straight through it. However, enemies cannot pass through it. In fact, touching an enemy web wall applies the hindered status effect. The webs will have a timer for how long they stay up (similar to Ramattra). I'm also considering the walls ending early based on how many people touch them. Putting them on flank routes can be really effective. Tracer might be able to blink through them (to fuel the rivalry). Allies are not affected by the web wall. They can pass through as they please.

Widowmaker's primary ability is rather simple. Lunge has you dash forward a set distance. If you collide with an enemy, Widowmaker slashes them with her blade, inflicting poison.

Widowmaker's secondary ability is Web Swing. It functions similarly to Wrecking Ball's grappling hook. However, it deals much less damage and you don't really gain momentum. Any enemy you collide with does get afflicted with hindered.

Ensnare is her ultimate ability. A circular web bursts from her and covers the floor. All enemies in the circle are afflicted with poison and hindered as long as they remain inside the circle. The effect also briefly lasts after the enemy leaves.

Also, if we want to be funny, she can have a passive similar to Genji, Hanzo, and [third hero i don't like]'s wall climb. Widowmaker could very well have Wall Crawl as a passive.

I don't know how much health she should have or what type. But I would like her to have a faster walking speed than most tanks.

TLDR:

Let's really make Widowmaker a spider.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3510

joel is out right now. he's been koala-ing on me all week. the heat is down lower now.

today at work mer and i were bored. not very much happened but we got ahead of a situation before it was a big deal.

and then we spent the rest of the day applying for jobs, meredith watching tv, and me crocheting. i gotta grab a new ball of dark blue for this blanket. it needs more blue. i like it so far.

[tldr: trauma sucks. tw trauma discussion, religious, childhood, and otherwise. also disordered eating.]

when the security supervisor, gil, stopped by, the three of us (gil and mer, really) talked about shit that happened in college and before now, basically. about going to clubs and parties and generally going out with friends and having a good time. i called myself Captain Boring, because honestly i haven't done a single goddamn fun thing in my life. gil pointed out it didn't help that i was raised mormon, and that got me thinking.

which kept me thinking. which made me cry.

i already lost 26 years of my life to the "church" by being in it, and so many more trying to recover from it through therapy. how much more of my life will it take before it's enough?

how much more of my existence will be haunted by control and guilt and trauma?

when will it be done?

and now here i am, 31 years old, having never been to a club or to a bar with friends just to drink and shoot the shit, afraid for my goddamn life that if i make a single stupid decision it'll ruin the rest of my life. desperately wanting to be a stupid kid for one night and being ruthlessly clawed apart by the guilt it would bring.

i usually go to bed around 9pm. i crochet. i call people "sweetie" and give them candy. i am in my grandma era. that's not really suitable for going out and partying.

and as an additional side note: in addition to the trauma of church shit, i also have trauma about money. my immediate response to things is "no, i can't, i don't have the money for it," despite how much i want to do something. i have missed out because of my upbringing and i continue to miss out because of different aspects of my upbringing, which have left me destitute and panicked for money at all times.

i don't eat lunch to save money. are you shitting me? what kind of mental disorder do i need to have to have this shitty if a relationship with both money and food???

it's a trauma response. budgeting is a good trauma response. not eating is not.

i hate all of this. i feel so insecure and like i'm too old to do things that are activities traditionally done by college students in the early 20s. and like i'm too old for junior position jobs because my 20s were taken by religious trauma and mental illnesses and disabilities.

i'm so fucking tired.

[dellcartwrights]

Setting: District Thirteen Kitchen, Night of Peeta's interview Trigger Warnings: death mention, anxiety, bombing, nightmares, vomit mention (no actual vomiting) TLDR: Delly is horrified to watch Peeta's interview.

Delly had a few more things to do in the kitchen before she was able to finish up for the day and go back to her quarters. She was exhausted but knew that sleep wouldn’t come. Between her own insomnia and Dirk’s nightmares, she was not sleeping well. She felt bad for Cora, who never complained to her, but she knew that it must be hard, rooming with them. Delly was glad that she was so busy during the day it barely left her time to think about how tired she was. But then at night after she crashed she still couldn’t sleep. She kept telling herself that it had only been two weeks. It would get better. Things would get easier.

Carrying a few plates that had been left in the dining hall, Delly glanced at the screen and saw a close up of Caesar Flickerman. She rolled her eyes. They were still using him? She looked away and walked towards the sink, ready to put the stack of plates down when she heard his voice.

“I bet you’re as surprised to see me as I am you.” 

Delly would know that voice anywhere. Peeta. It was Peeta. She whirled around, the plates dropping from her hands and shattering the moment that they hit the floor but she didn’t wince from the noise. She didn’t even register it as she moved closer to the screen.

Peeta. Peeta. He was alive. She had never doubted it even when people tried to tell her that he was probably dead somewhere. Delly could immediately tell that something was wrong, his hands were shaking and his smile looked fake. He didn’t sound like Peeta. What were they doing to him? Tears burned in her eyes and she felt her heart start to race as she watched the interview. He wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right. She could tell that much. His words sounded hollow, and he looked strained. 

She had never felt so helpless. Not even when she had learned of the bombing, because it had been over by the time that District Thirteen had learned what had happened. She could hear the desperation in Peeta’s voice as he insisted that he and Katniss had nothing to do with what happened, and she so desperately wished that she could go to the Capitol and bring him home. Why hadn’t they tried to bring him home yet? Why were they just letting Peeta stay there while the Capitol did whatever they wanted to him? 

Delly didn’t move as the interview continued and she felt like she had forgotten how to breathe. Peeta was growing frustrated and Delly could see it. “Peeta, please,” she whispered. What would they do to him if they didn’t like what he had to say? He was angry and Caesar was trying to calm him down, and Delly felt like she was going to throw up. She wasn’t dumb, she knew that Peeta’s words were probably not his own, but he kept defending Katniss and she just wished that he would play along. She was so scared that the interview would end with them hurting him for his words, and she just needed Peeta to be okay. 

“Thank you Peeta. I hope your words get to the right people, and I hope the next time we meet...the circumstance will be kinder. Panem, this has been Caesar Flickerman interviewing Peeta Mellark. Goodnight."

Delly wanted to throw up. Was that a warning that they hadn’t liked what he said? Were they going to hurt him? Delly didn’t know if she should scream or cry or throw up or curl up into a little ball. That was her best friend. The Capitol had him and she couldn’t help him. Delly had always tried so hard to help Peeta, to protect him, to take care of him, the way that he did for her, but she was helpless here. Nobody seemed to be doing anything to save Peeta. Would that change now that they knew that he was alive? It had to, right? They would go in there and get him. They had to. 

In the silence of the kitchen, she wished that it had been longer. At least if Peeta was on the screen she knew that he was okay. But now? Now it was going back to the agony of not knowing what was happening to him. The momentary relief of seeing him had disappeared and now she felt like she was spiraling downwards. She didn’t know if she wanted to be with someone or go find somewhere to hide.

She came out of her shock to see the broken plates around her. Had she done that? Delly knew she had to clean them up, and the higher-ups of Thirteen would probably sue her for breaking them, but she didn't care. Somehow she was both devastated and relieved to see Peeta. He was alive. But the Capitol had him.