#tldr that cringe story is never seeing the light of the day

[atempause-art]

I was thinking first part of my writing is done after native english speaker looked over it and gave me edits and I could maybe now start posting the early chapters

my brain: how about you give it illustrations me: shit ur right

[interstellix]

to those who made my 2020 a little better,

i just wanted to let each one of you know that you mean tons to me and that you truly have, in one way or another, made this year better. i’ll be honest, 2020 was just not it for me, a whole lot of shit happened and i’ve had countless of days where i’ve been too tired in ways i can’t explain. at the same time though, good things have happened as well, one of them being the people i’ve met on tumblr; some of you i’ve been friends with since before, some of you i got to know this year and some of you even very very recently. still, i can’t thank these people enough because they’ve all been part of making this year less shitty than it would’ve been otherwise. thus, i wanted to at least let the mentioned ones know that they’re the ones part of that

now, i’m really not good with words, and i absolutely Hate being sappy, yet that’s exactly what i’m being here fjkdfk. i’m deadass out here cringing at my own words but please bear with me this one time LMAOO.

tldr; ily and u’re all v v precious people to me

@ohmyhao i don't think i'll ever be able to explain just how precious you are to me, no joke :( i'm almost 100% you're the one who's been sticking around my blog(s) since the very start and i want you to know that, even if we don't talk as often, i'm grateful for each and every day knowing i deadass have someoone like you around. i mean, i'll be honest, i still question your choice of favorite haikyuu characters because oi🤮kawa bUT!! i'll forgive you bc!! you're literally among the cutest people i've ever come across (don't even think of arguing with me this time), you're no joke one of the reasons i continued staying on tumblr and getting to know you is something i'll always feel blessed over 🥰

@kachulein LOL OK i could go on for hours and hours here, mostly because of how many and all the different things we talk about stuff that just shouldn't see the light of the world included. talking to you is something that never fails to make me feel happy but also incredibly at ease; i really, really want you to know that something i’m incredibly grateful for is how i’m comfortable enough with you to be able to talk about things i otherwise just can’t :( aside from that, listen, 99% of our conversation have me wheezing my throat off, like it can get weird af but it still has me laughing. something else i’m really happy is when you put in your two cents in our conversation, i’ve said it before but as someone who struggles with seeing things from more than one perspective, i really admire hearing about your own! all in all, i love you tons and tons, you’re an incredible person through and through and i truly appreciate the time i get to talk to you!

@starryarles i don’t think i tell you this enough but?? mae?? i literally love you so much, legit l-o-mae-l??? i still laugh my ass of looking back at the time you found my other blog and i had to guess which one of my mutuals you were LMAOO listen the panic fjijfkjk. anyway, i absolutely adore every message, ask and comment i receive from you, no joke i always get really happy from each one of them and tbh?? during that long period of time we didn’t talk i genuinely thought you hated me or something HAHAH. turns out that that was not true at all or so i hope and not to sound like a sap but i’m deadass overjoyed that we started talking again. and really, you’re way, way too supportive, i literally don’t deserve how much love i’ve received from you even but please know that i’m grateful for every bit of it and that i love you stupid much and hope we can have another good year together :’)

@milkteandhan you?? are also?? one of the few who have been dealing with my ass literally from the very start?? because i seriously can’t remember having been on tumblr without you around?? BUT ALSO YOU LITTLE SHIT IDGI you bully me to the ends of the fucking world but for some reason?? i still love you?? >:(( ok but jokes aside, i really do love you a lot, i mean i love you as much as you make me suffer and that? that’s a lot :) you drop by my inbox with either the cutest/funniest message or pictures that make me wanna dig my grave but either way, they always make me smile like a fucking moron and listen LISTEN. i really wanna explain to you how much you mean to me but idk where to start bc i can’t. literally just can’t. find the words for that. but all i can say is that meeting you is something i’ll thank any and every damn god out there for and i’m not even religious, like at all fjkdjfkd so yeah. mwah

@astronomlns my god you bitch you bully me almost on the daily and then you?? have the audacity to deny it?? but! that said, i don’t mind lol. one of my biggest regret what goes my “”online-life”” is the awfully long time we didn’t talk but that’s also why i’m mad happy that we actually do now, almost every day even. i’ve already said this before but have the friendly reminder that you’re among the few that i feel really safe when talking. we’ve also pointed out this before but it’s almost been two whole years since we became friends and i hope you can stick with my shit for another whole year. again, you bully me a lot, but i still love you a whole damn lot, never forget that

@lixchannie i’ll be flat out honest, idk what the hell i’m supposed to say here. despite all bullshit that has happened you’ve been there with me this entire, entire time ever since we became friends and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to explain how thankful i am for that. we don’t talk every day and imy when we don’t lmao but tbh i’m fine with that because i’m genuinely glad knowing that i even get to have someone like you in my life. so yeah don’t leave me bc i’ll deadass hunt you to the end of the world

the rest of the “”kin-gang”” like some like to call it @bubbleskz @berryyyyyy @skzbbie we don’t talk as often, v v rarely actually but i want y’all to know that i don’t appreciate and love you any less than i did before we started somewhat losing touch. i don’t like sounding cheesy and shit fjkfkds but let it slide this time, the times we do talk are times i treasure more than i can explain, deadass. i feel like i don’t tell you this enough but you guys are better friends than i could ever ask for. again, we don’t talk as much, but 2020 would’ve sucked a thousand times more if we didn’t talk a lot, so thank you tons for being part of it and i hope you’ll be there for 2021 too :’)

@soulkhunscompass LISTEN. listen. i’ll say it, i’ll just fucking say it: i don’t deserve you at fucking all :///// you’re way too sweet to me, talking to you always makes me smile and laugh, esp when you promise making me food one day ffjdkfjkds. but somehow?? at the same time, and idk how you do it, but somehow SOMEHOW you never fail to make me feel appreciated whenever you tell me sweet ass things. ‘in return’, never forget that both that and you are something i appreciate way way more k >:( and also >:(( never forget that i love you so much, literally more than i love how the corner of felix’s eyes crinkle up whenever he smiles and that’s,,, that’s a damn lot tbh 👉👈

@chwe-yeeun honestly i’m lowkey sobbing while writing this. you’re one of those i only got to know this year, in fact just a few months ago but nonetheless, you’re still one of those i treasure a whole damn lot. like you said, you love making me suffer with pretty boys, it hurts but it’s still funny lmao, i appreciate but also feel bad whenever you have to deal with my bullshit whenever i come crying to you over eric those pretty boys, aNd ThE tImEs yOu SeNd ThAt CuTe HuG?? i return them all, like fr take my heart i don’t need it, it’s your for the taking like literally fuck it. moral of the story, i love you tons and thank you for being there with and for me :’)

@riskyrenjun i might as well start off and say that i fucking screeched when i saw you in my notifs and mention my content on your blog bc?? the queen herself?? noticed me?? wtf?? and i’ll be honest, i’ve been following you for a good while and for the longest time ever i wanted to hit you up bc you’ve literally always seemed so precious sO?? dO YOU EVEN KNOW??? hoW hAPPY i am?? that we actually?? are friends?? i’ve done nothing to deserve that but here we are fjkflkd. i saw your end-of-the-year post, i’m sorry i haven’t responded to it and that i’ve been so shit at talking lately, but i promise i’ll try to get better at it lmao so!!! i hope you’ll still stick around with me at that point because i can be really fucking damn annoying 🥺 long story short pray for a good 2021 bc you’ll probably regret ever even wanting to talk to me once we’ve become closer lol <3

there are a few other friends and mutuals i wanna include here; i don’t talk as much with some of y’all, others are people i’m still getting to know but nevertheless, i want you to know that meeting each one of you here on this hellsite is a blessing in itself and that it’s one of the things i’m happy 2020 has actually given me :’)

@0325-4419 @marculees @jwisungchan @stealerz @ciiikb @zoey-angel-istaeminsbitchnow @yangles @violethhj @littlefallenrebel  

alllso to dear dc servers: @planteii @joey-yellow-county @sakura-writes-stuff @bound-writings @koukounuts @classicalsylph  the rest of the server bc i’m struggling really hard to find them // @crimsoncitrus @everythingsinred and the rest of that server because again i’m struggling to find the url to the rest fjdkfkd; i’m not particularly active in neither but i still want you to know that i’m very grateful for being able to be part of two v v warm and welcoming servers, so thank you for that 🥺

[wehavethoughts]

Kiki’s Delivery Service Review!

Kiki's Delivery Service By: Hayao Miyazaki Fantasy/Coming-of-age Movie Studio Ghibli, 1989

Rating: 4.5/5 Waves

Content warning for Kiki's Delivery Service: Depression

This review does NOT contain spoilers for Kiki's Delivery Service.

Summary: Kiki, a thirteen-year-old witch, and Jiji, her black cat familiar, leave home for a traditional training year wherein young witches find a new town and develop their own individual magic. Overwhelmed in the big city, Kiki needs to figure out what she is good at, what she likes and who she wants to be. A story of adventure, friendship and growing up.

In times like these the best thing you can do for your soul is to find a Studio Ghibli movie you’ve never seen and dig in. As a Miyazaki fan it was odd that I had never seen Kiki's Delivery Service and now seemed like the perfect time for something light and beautiful and boy did this movie deliver ;D

The list of reasons I loved this movie is too long to include here, so I will highlight the best of the best. First and foremost, the art and music are spectacular. The 2D animation is smooth and soothing (as you would expect from Studio Ghibli animation) and the character designs are cute and comforting across the board from Kiki’s adorable self to the kindly old dog, Jeff, we only see for a few scenes.

The animation style also allowed for another one of my favorite parts of this movie, the physical comedy. So often with live-action physical comedy I am left with the lingering guilt of ‘are they ok?’, but the physical comedy in this movie won’t leave you cringing. They way the artists clearly convey the limitations of flying on a broomstick in silly whimsical ways had me laughing out loud many many times.

Aside from the art, the story and how the characters are written also impressed me. Kiki is thirteen years old and you never forget that. In some stories, especially coming-of-age stories it can feel like the children change so drastically that they go from the maturity of a teen to that of an adult over the course of a few days or weeks. I am not sure how they did it, but they gave me a thirteen-year-old protagonist who is clearly and accurately written as her age, the entire story and still vastly relatable to a wider audience. She learns, she grows, but this isn’t a story about lost innocence, which was a relief.

In fact, most of the themes and messages were realistic and hopeful in a way that left me inspired and motivated. Kiki’s struggles resonated with me and seeing her tackle those problems with the help and wisdom of those around her was a delight to watch.

Finally, something I was so happy to see was the world’s acceptance of witches. It was refreshing to see a witch story that is not about keeping secrets and slowly destroying yourself to save the world. Rather, her powers were something that people found impressive, handy and, in Tombo’s case, awe-inspiring. She was different from other people, yes, but those differences were celebrated much more than they were looked down upon and I absolutely loved it.

The reasons this movie did not get full marks are limited, but this is a review so I’ll explain. For me the issues were the pacing, the inexplicable magical training program, and my own personal cognitive dissonance regarding how nice everyone was to Kiki. The pacing was a bit too slow for my tastes and for people who are used to animation having a Disney style pace (action, song, conflict, song, resolution, song). Since the art and scenery were beautiful I didn’t always mind the excessive wide shots and slow pans, but some scenes were just a little too slow for me.

Another minor issue I had with this movie (as an American) was the lack of logic in how young witches are supposed to be trained. At the very beginning of the movie we learn that at thirteen years old all witches leave home for one year to train, but they do not seek out a mentor, rather they are meant to just go get a job. I understand this seems to be a trial by fire situation, but it seems like a terrible way to learn magic. I also didn’t like how her mother, who was also a witch and went through the same thing at thirteen could leave Kiki so unprepared for her training year. There were several trials Kiki encountered that could have been avoided if her mother had sat her down and taught her about the world and how to be a witch. Even a basic “Here is how I did it” conversation probably could have saved Kiki a lot of trouble. If every witch goes on this training year, then it seems like it would be pretty easy to prepare your own child for this kind of adventure. It didn’t sit well with me that this mother, who was shown to clearly love her daughter, would drop the ball so thoroughly on Kiki’s early training.

And finally, one thing that I loved and that also didn’t sit well with me was how nice everyone was to Kiki. I found myself wishing at many points throughout the movie that people in real life were that kind to strangers and people they didn’t understand. Kiki’s world is stunningly beautiful in its abundance of kindness, but I kept pulling myself out of the story with worry wondering when the other shoe was going to drop. Surely people couldn’t be this nice, of course this is too good to be true. This speaks more to the world I grew up in: that in a fantasy movie the hardest part for me to wrap my head around was that a thirteen-year-old girl from a small town could move to the city and meet wonderful people and the problems she faces aren’t of the predator/poverty/“you shouldn’t have talked to strangers” variety. Like sure, she can fly on a broom and her cat talks, but how in the world did she get an apartment that nice? It’s jarring, but in a wonderful way. It left me wishing the world was truly like that, but it also reminded me that a little kindness can go a long way.

Tldr; At the end of the day, this movie left me with a sense of joy and contentment that I don’t get from movies so much these days. It is a fun, beautiful story that I highly recommend to anyone in need of a little happiness.

~TideMod

[player-1]

Dandelions are pretty persistent, am I right?

[Scala ad Caelum] Young Xehanort: You know what? When I become a Master, I want to uncover the mysteries of the Keyblade War.

Young Eraqus: Being a historian sounds boring...What are going to do the rest of your life?

(In the distance, Blaine spits out his coffee)

Blaine: ...Excuse me? You want to know about the War? Spoiler alert for you, everyone DIED!

[Keyblade Graveyard, the prequel] Xehanort: Now that my body is frail, I need a new vessel...Someone who is strong of both heart and body to support me.

Ven (Is babey): Stranger danger?

Xehanort: Perfect.

Ven: (+1 Angsty child) (Status: Vegetable)

Xehanort: (Well, that didn't work...Time to dump him on an island.)

Ephemer (Possibly angry ghost-boy): I'M GONNA HAUNT THE F**** OUT OF YOU, OLD MAN!

Xehanort: What was that?

Vanitas: Maybe the wind...(Why must you make me suffer? Why am I alive?)

[Radiant Garden] Terranort: Now then, Subject X...Do you remember anything else?

Subject X (aka Skuld): (It's not like I'm gonna tell you my life story, you albino freak.) ...

Terranort: Unsatisfying response, as usual...There must be something lacking in the tests...

Braig (Eavesdropping like the pirate uncle he is): (Don't worry kid, I feel your pain. That old fart doesn't know when to quit, amnesia or not...Maybe a little prank will do the trick.)

And that's how Braig staged the most infuriating "prank" in existence and caused Radiant Garden to fall into Darkness. It's just a prank dude, no hard feelings!

[The Castle That Never Was] Xemnas: And with the completion of Kingdom Hearts, we will be complete...No longer will we be cast-off shells, blah blah blah...

Marluxia: (God, this man is beyond idiocy...I'll teach him a few manners when I get my Keyblade back...And my sister...😢)

Larxene: (God, if he wasn't so hot I would've kicked his face in already...)

Luxord: (Redemption always has its cost...If he's so sure about summoning such a construct, he should be wary of the hand he's dealt...)

Demyx: ("Country Roads" playing on repeat the moment Xemnas even opened his mouth.)

[Keyblade Graveyard: Round Two]

Marluxia: Why are we back? 

Larxene: Not sure, but who wants to be a stupid vessel? So~, want to start another coup?

Ephemer (Paranormal Sasstivity): Lauriam, you TRAITOR! How dare you betray us like this! I’ll curse you till the day you DIE!!!

Larxene: Did you hear somethin’?

Marluxia: Must’ve been the wind...

[The Final World]

Sora: Who did this to you? Heartless steal hearts, so...A Nobody?

Nameless Star (aka Strelitzia): A...somebody... (What do you mean a Nobody? I barely know my crush’s name but now I have this to worry about? I just hope Lauriam comes here sooner than later...)

~~~

Chirithy: Really, you are a Keyblade wielder, right?

Sora: Yeah, I suppose...I just learned it on the fly. By the way, mind telling me how to get back to my friends?

Chirithy: (I’m so glad Ven didn’t get his stupidity from him...He’s just so dim...) Don’t you already know how to do that?

Sora: I guess so...So it’s like the Power of Waking?

Chirithy: (Yep, no wonder I keep seeing him here...This kid’s worse than Ven...)

[Keyblade Graveyard: When Stupidity Strikes]

The Tempest: (Being its bad and terrifying Heartless self, capable of commiting mass genocide to both Heartless and people)

Sora: I’ll stop it! 

(Runs straight into the storm, ON HIS OWN, as if the first time didn’t count)

Ephemer and the entire Graveyard: (Facepalm so hard the world vibrates)

Ephemer (Not angry, just disappointed...): So this is why Ava chose the worthy ones...Glad I got to see it the second time. 😑

~~~

TLDR; Wherever Xehanort turns (or Sora), the light of the past will silently judge everything they do, whether or not they even remember anything. (Though in this case, it’s just so deeply ingrained into their minds that one could only cringe at their attempts. Am I just overthinking this? Who knows. )

[lavieenjones]

July 31st, 2017

The most difficult moments in life are rare opportunities to transform. –the internet and maybe Kabbalists

The night of my one year anniversary was spent in a fire station kissing boys, dancing my heart out, and clinking bottles full of bub like I was 50Cent- and perhaps in reverse order. Vive la France.. like I’m 20 years old. With the one year mark looming ahead of me, I’d been a complete crazy person feeling like I needed to make a decision to stay or leave, to put a blessed end to this limbo and semi-commitment I’ve made to being here. So this night of reckless abandon was exactly what was called for.. or exactly what a crazy person would do. Tomato, tomato.

My last real update was in March, and I regret not capturing more of it here, because as I reflect on this past year - to quote Eugenia​ - it is with complete wonder, amazement, unconstrained gratitude, and longing to share with everyone. And since it’s been five months, and a lot has or hasn’t happened depending on your POV, I’ll either tell you way too much about not a lot or not enough about everything. So, fair warning, #TLDR. But before I get into all of that I just want to thank everyone in my life who has been supportive and with me this whole time in thoughts, facetimes, and visits, and everyone here that have opened up their lives to me with such beautiful immediacy and acceptance. All of you overwhelm me.

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” As an unabashed pusher of the book, The Alchemist, I have loaned, given, quoted, and cherished the story for a very long time and I think it’s, in part, what’s driven me and kept me grounded when I made the snap decisions that led me to: go to college in CO, quit my job in FL without a plan, move to Chicago with two weeks’ notice, and ultimately move to a country wherein I knew no one and didn’t speak the language. I remember so completely the fear and pure, crazed anxiety as I sat atop a pile of luggage waiting for an uber to take me to O’Hare last year. If the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, getting to my feet that day to help the driver load the trunk was one of the shakiest steps I’ve ever taken (I was afraid, yes, and had inhuman amounts of adrenaline coursing through me, but I also had just carried four very heavy suitcases down three flights of stairs so every muscle I didn’t know I had was spasm-ing). I’m still not sure what I’m doing here to be honest. I’m beyond the point of trying France on for size and am now trying to decide if I want to sink in a little and let my roots grow, or go home to Chicago/SF/Denver/USA (clearly another decision to be made.. lately Madrid and Amsterdam have sounded interesting too.. 😳). And if the decision is to go home then when? And if it’s soon, shouldn’t I stop wasting time with French lessons and dating apps? There are only so many times I can say: Je suis désolée, je ne parle pas bien le français. J'ai besoin que vous parliez en anglais s'il vous plaît 😘☺️. Anyway you see the rabbit hole I end up going down. This week I am convinced I'll regret returning now so we'll see if that sticks for a while. At any rate, for now, I’ll forget about these life altering decisions, trust in the alchemy of my life, and instead tell you about the fireman’s ball, spring travel adventures and visits, my birthday abroad, and Parisian observations.

In short, since March, I went to Prague for #saintpraguiesday with Jack, visited (and was overly emotional at) Normandy with Hillary and Mike (and apparently earned a hefty speeding ticket yet to be seen on the way home), drank wine out of a baby bottle, visited the Champagne region and WWII-decimated Reims, circled Stonehenge and cut through Bath on my way home (cringing at the thought of fat, rich men bobbing like rotten apples in the tepid waters, but then enjoying a little shopping in the square and one of the best meat pies I’ve ever had), took a last minute train to Holland to revel in the tulip fields (sorry about the Snap story, I was freaking out), had a birthday and an insanely sweet surprise party (dancing til dawn included), lounged/guzzled rose seaside in Corsica and le Cote d’Azur, ping ponged from Paris to SF back to Paris to Minneapolis to Tampa and back to Paris again in the span of two weeks to kiss some babies and celebrate Kara and Anna’s graduations, proved all American stereotypes right by driving the French countryside in a convertible blaring Kanye and Led Zeppelin, ascended Mont Saint Michele and Eze Village, drank with a league of twenty golfing Brits inside the fortress walls of St. Malo, partied on the other side of the tracks in London, saw a concert at the Philharmonie, watched the Fête Nationale (Bastille Day to you) Eiffel Tower fireworks to close out my 365 days in France, and went to Lollapalooza Paris with some sweet Chicago and CO friends and a pack of glitter-crazed (beatifically so) South Africans to kick off the next 365.

Hillary​ and Mike​ visited in April, lots to say about their visit, but first I think their being here was a blissful reminder of what it was like to have good friends around. The lack of such in tangible proximity was starting to weigh on me. And I think I just sometimes need the connection with people who might care that I booked a vacation to Murder Island or that I received yet another “this is not me” email response from a co-worker- which translates to “not my job” in the American workplace. I thought cultural annoyance was a thing, but Google says non. At the very least, the weeks preceding their visit had been a test in cultural tolerance. Mostly I think I was just dealing with a real bout of homesickness and it had begun to bleed into everything. For example, I went to a burger and fries place to have a taste of home and someone bumped my arm and fries went flying. I went up to the counter to, I don’t know really, presumably order new ones, but instead when I got to the order counter my eyes welled up and I asked for a broom to clean up my mess. Everyone was really uncomfortable. I’m a hair-trigger crier, but that was extreme. Coincidentally, shortly following this public outburst was my birthday. My dear friend Lize​ threw a surprise party to celebrate and I ended up dancing in my eleventh month in Paris with the sweetest people ever. I’d fled Paris the weekend before because I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday alone. And while my island escape was complete paradise, that Friday night surpassed it tenfold. It was a wake up for me that I am building a life here and I’m really happy about it. I’m trying to carry this joy with me; though invariably I forget this sentiment while slogging through the work weeks, but for the moment, I recall the elation perfectly and cherish it.

What helps in moments of wavering conviction that being here is really a dream come true are realizations like my birthday party night, island escapes, and that Paris has been unbelievably beautiful lately. When Hill and Mike were here the weather was crisp and sunny and lovely. There was a moment when we walked from the Shakespeare and Co. bookstore, across the bridge behind Notre Dame, through the back gardens and all the while cherry blossoms were blowing past us on a light breeze. I mean if I wasn’t on cloud nine just having them in town, I was after that movie-quality stroll across the Seine. The whole week they were here, in fact, I was undone/overcome/overwhelmed by bursts of pure happiness. Our itinerary was pretty perfect: Parisian highlights, road trip to Normandy, Honfleur, Versailles, Champagne, and the 3 F’s of France: fondue, fromage, et .. fermented grapes?

Normandy was the biggest surprise. I was awash with gratitude and appreciation like I've never felt before. It’s likely very late in life to have had this experience, but I was filled with awe-inspired respect for the bravery of the nearly 10,000 soldiers buried in that coastal cemetery. Next up was Honfleur. This crazy old fishing town captured all three of us instantly. It was everything that was sweetly prosaic, weathered, and charming. We also had a really nice dinner along the port that I will remember for a long time. The food was actually not that great, but the conversation and laughter leaves me smiling even now.

The rest of the time they were here we spent hitting up Parisian must-see attractions, and some perhaps better left unseen things as well. Namely, Le Refuge de Fondue, wherein you are served wine in baby bottles. The novelty is quite lethal as you don’t really know how much you’re sucking down and we each had 3-4 baby bottles which is what? 6-8 glasses of wine? The next morning we were heading out to the Champagne region at dawn with our heads hung a little lower than we might’ve wished. I had a hard time finishing any of our tasters. Reims and the rest of the region were beautiful and I think worth going back to when I’m not wishing to lay down, just for a little while, the whole time. Let’s get our weekend booked Daniel y Gra-ham.

All in all though, a really great visit. And going to Normandy and Honfleur whet my appetite to explore more of this country I now call home. We now know I went to Corsica to avoid being solo on my birthday, but it was also a way to have a whole new French experience. From the way they speak to the food and vistas. One doesn’t immediately think of amazing seafood, crystal clear cut-glass water, and Mediterranean cave exploration when they think of France. Or at least I didn’t. This was also the longest trip I’ve taken by myself to date- 5 days. It was actually really nice to just be for a few days and soak up the sun and sea sounds. I spent most of the time on, by, or in the water, or driving around in my manual rental car. I forgot how much fun it is! And add in the adrenaline rush of navigating cliff-side, narrow roads.. I was in heaven. Then on day three, in a state of pure euphoria from laying, reading, and snoozing, I flash-fried my entire backside. The day after that I went on a pretty intense boating trip that basically was the same thing as riding a horse bareback based on the choppy waves we cut through. For a day when I could barely wear clothes due to the heat pumping off my back and the skin being too sensitive for any contact, this sea excursion nearly killed me.

In other travel news, Jack​ and I continued our EU/best friends mayhem tour this Spring and went to Prague. First impression: feels old AF, especially when you go to a strings concert in a church probably built before 1400. The timelines of these places start to chip away at the illusion I know anything about world history, and also continually remind me how young America is. (Side note for perspective, I was at a French flea market recently and asked the age of a teacup, the sellers response? “Very modern, 1930s.” Only not in America is that concerned modern.) Anyway, we basically walked the entire city on repeat, upping our stein ozs with each stop, checking out historical graffiti, and fulfilling everyone’s personal Czech checklist: absinthe, igloo bars, river boat tours, and the best Thai food two nights in a row. Last thing I’ll mention about this trip, which has little to do with Prague and everything to do with the experience is that here is where I listened to the bulk of Born to Run and I will forever associate this special place with the time I became best friends with Bruce Springsteen.

I also went to London a couple months ago to 1) fulfill my and Jack’s ultimate London must-do activity: go to the giant ball pit bar in Dalston before he finished his program, 2) celebrate sweet Lauren​'s birthday and see Becca​ this side of the Atlantic, and 3) explore a little more of England.

First, the ball pit was awesome if a little disgusting. I mainly tried to block out that I’m in my 20+10s and diving deep into a pit probably covered with countless germs.. namely 💩.. idk what that kept trying to push its way into my thoughts while submerged in the glowing plastic balls, but even now I am making Grinch lips thinking about it. Germs aside, it was a blast. Around midnight we went to see London Bridge and watch the city sparkle on the water. Was a nice send off for Jack.

The next day I set out for some tourist-ing and went to Stonehenge and Bath. Both were pretty cool. Stonehenge is both incredible and annoying. Legit tourist trap, but because it’s in the middle of absolutely nowhere you kind of feel like you’re experiencing it with these people and it makes it feel a little un-special. That is to say, it still feels special even though you’re surrounded by people all trying to take pictures of the same thing at the same time. I took some snaps myself but then just sat and looked at the stones for a little while. I don’t know about aliens, etc. but it does seem like an incredible feat for the average human.

After this, I went to Bath and while I love all things ancient it was a little hard to imagine away all the tourists and really see the Roman baths in their day and time. And as mentioned above, had a really nice steak pie in the town square, so that was good.

I’m going to have to leave Mont Saint Michele, meeting the darling Chloe​ in Nice, and my other French countryside ramblings for another post. Because this has gotten entirely too long, and I want to tell you about the Bal des Pompiers and some quick- and acutely accurate- reflection on my time in France to date.

Bal des Pompiers – or the Fireman’s Ball- is a night when all the firehouses in Paris open their doors, accept donations and lewd looks, put on strip teases, and sell garbage champagne for 35€ a bottle. Mix it all up and it was one of the most hilarious, reckless, balls out nights I’ve had in Paris. Such a weird tradition and one I am so, so happy to have been brought into. I have no photos from the night because, well I doubt I could focus enough to take any, but also I was too busy dancing and smooching strangers. #onelove?

Now the year one wrap up. You’ve been with me along the way for the more immediate observations: the cheese is great, work is isolating and awkward, the women don’t dye their hair, and the men are rocking man buns and GQ suits. But here are some broader puzzlements that continue to haunt me:

1. The postal mail system is alive and well in France. Need to create a subway/metro account? Fill out a form, mail it in, wait 8-10 weeks for a reply (make that 8-10 months as I still don’t have my pass). Recently buy tickets online to a concert? These will be mailed out to you in 3-4 weeks, please be home for delivery within that timeframe. Urgent immigration documents to be signed? Check your mail in 2 weeks, if nothing is there request said forms again. Lather, rinse, repeat. What year is this? 2. Check books. E’rybody using them. 3. Vous form is a thing. Get over it you pompous jackasses. Not only do I need to learn formal and informal, I have to learn noun gender as well. I’m out. 4. “La bise” is real and takes forever. Never mind that you might not even know the people which for me, let’s be honest, is always. Also, if you get la bise after a date, dude’s gay. 5. I fall in love with every man that sells me cheese. They seem to genuinely care that I enjoy the cheese and get excited about making recommendations about other cheeses I might enjoy. It’s a complete trip and I fall head over heels at least twice a month. There is a particular father/son duo for which I am fully prepared to destroy their family dynamic over because choosing would be impossible. 6. No one gets pedicures because it's too expensive, and as a result do not cut their nails as often as they should. So many women out there with talons- bleh. 7. One day I saw a girl, maybe 12, walking probably home with a baguette that her mom probably sent her out to get before dinner. No other reason a pre-teen would be carrying around fresh baked bread. The idea that there are French families living this imaginary version of reality is still mind boggling. “It is the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” I still can’t believe I’m living that dream along with the countless people walking home with fresh baked bread each night. 8. Some people have showers larger than a small refrigerator, some people have refrigerators larger than ten shoe boxes taped together.. those people just aren’t me. 9. French women slap on lipstick and call it makeup. They legit could have not brushed their hair for a week and still this is the only measure they take each morning. Makes things easier anyway. 10. And a direct quote from a lifelong Parisian, "I’d rather my purse go in the river than my cigarettes”—this exactly expresses the devotion to cigs out here. They are an extension of self. .. and keep them away from the river.

Ok, je m'en vais. Thanks again for being a part of this life experiment.