#tldr i saw pianist five and i went ham with it

[candiliam328]

So um… pianist Five, huh?

Hey, @kakakuroo? Remember that playlist? The one with the classical pieces I think Five should play?

Um, I made it... 

and um, it’s about 40 minutes long (sorry). Highkey, it was originally longer, but then, I decided to focus on pieces that I think would resonate with our current Five as the pianist playing them.

But... oops I made myself sad.

Note: I said “our current” Five and yes, that means our post-season 2 Five.

(….. interestingly enough, I do have a few pieces in mind for pre-apocalypse, actually 13-year-old Five and some pieces for apocalypse Five....)

These aren’t even pieces that I think would actually play in the context of the show (yes, I have pieces for that too), but really, just pieces that I think Five would vibe with *as the pianist playing them.*

Now, a warning: I’m about to go on a whole thing about why I think this is the case, so if you don’t want to be bothered with me blabbing in depth about music and unnecessarily projecting onto a fictional character, don’t click keep reading…..  

OK, HERE WE GO

(Special shoutout goes to @disco-tea​ for letting me ramble about this with her for literal weeks)

Full disclaimer: I am NOT a music major nor do I claim to be super knowledgeable in music theory. This is just my personal take and experience and LOL I’m just a (barely) pianist with enough knowledge of music theory and composers to shitpost about them occasionally and apparently a lot of emotions about pianist!five (lol).

So, yeah, UM ANY ACTUAL MUSICIANS PLEASE DISREGARD THIS ENTIRE POST OMG – I’M ASHAMED.

ANYWAY --

Most of the pieces I included are by Chopin.

Bit of background: Frederic Chopin was a Polish composer of the Romantic era and a virtuosic pianist. At the core of his artistic process was improvisation and his pieces are known for their lyrical quality. The way his pieces are written allows for a lot of interpretation from the pianist performing the pieces.

But what do we mean by interpretation?

… oof um, where do I even start…

Okay, so each musician and in fact, each performance of a musician has a different interpretation, a different feeling if you will. There’s a certain level of flexibility in how you perform any piece and there’s a fine line each performer has to walk between being respectful to the source material and adding your own kind of flavor.

But what does that sound like? For pianists in particular, we’ll play around with articulation, phrasing, dynamics, pedaling, and (most importantly for this post) rubato.

Chopin pieces tend to be played with a lot of rubato.

Now, what’s that? Well, to be honest with you, in my head, rubato has always been a fancy term for “messing around with the rhythm of the piece.” There are some pieces for which you absolutely cannot do this (like a march, where you need to keep constant time), but remember, Chopin was a fan of improvisation, so he always had a “go with the flow” kind of thing going.

Rubato means you can stretch some beats and speed through others – it allows you to build suspense and breathe some life into your piece. That way, it’s not boring for the audience and it gets you invested as the pianist. 

Speaking from experience, some pieces require you to be vulnerable as the pianist playing them. These pieces that utilize tons of rubato? They practically demand it. You have to pour a little bit of yourself into them and allow yourself to feel the piece and get in your head a little to do justice to the notes the composer wrote. Inherently, each time you play the piece, your performance will be different and will sound different. You know the journey the piece is going to take you on, but not even you know exactly how your piece is going to sound -- it’s all about how you feel in the moment.

(And yeah, that’s why all the videos in the playlist show you the actual pianist playing the pieces -- sorry, I tried to find versions that had the least amount of coughing and clapping, but… live performances *shrugs*. It’s important for the sake of this (long-ass) analysis that you realize there is an actual person behind the music, feeling the notes and sharing themselves with you through the music.)

Now, I’m here to tell you that it can be incredibly therapeutic to play these pieces alone. For no one else. Just you and the piano. You can be feeling all these emotions and you can pour them into these gorgeous pieces and you can hear the emotions as well. Yeah, and remember that fine line I talked about for interpretation? That’s out the window. You’re just playing for you. You can stretch out this measure for as long as you want or you can rush through this run as much as you feel. You are completely free to manipulate this piece to how you feel in that moment and just play your feelings out. And it’s amazing.

 ...

And yup, all that brings us to our favorite time-traveling assassin.

Post-season 2 Five... um… he’s had a rough few days to say the least.

He was so close to getting his siblings safe back in their timeline, but he just… can’t… seem… to… do… it… right.

He’s been on edge for so long now that he seems kind of... weary?

What was it the old man said?

“I’m too tired.”

Anyway, there’s… emotions. He’s got a lot of them.

But he’s shit at being able to express himself non-violently, especially when the emotion isn’t anger. (and whenever he has tried to be vulnerable, it hasn't necessarily ended well...)

He needs another outlet. One that forces him to be vulnerable and honest with himself.

Enter: The piano. And these beautiful pieces with tons of room for rubato and self-expression.

(Let the man feel his feelings and play his heart out gdi.)

Now, if all I cared about was room for rubato, I could have chosen from a billion other pieces. So why would Five vibe with these ones in particular?

Well, I’m not going to use any musical terminology, because that’s not what matters here. I’m talking about the journey the pieces take you on as a pianist and as a listener. Give it a real close listen. 

None of these pieces feel like they’ve “arrived.” 

None of them feel “grounded” or “settled.” 

They’re all kind of wandering… yearning for something possibly beyond their reach. 

(Perhaps a desire to relive the past. Perhaps an unattainable dream.)

So, yeah, if I had to name the vibe, I would call it “longing”… but maybe with a twinge of “resignation.”

For 45 years, Five was wandering about in the apocalypse, longing to return home. His primary motivator became to return to his family and to go home. To keep them safe. Maybe even settle down.

And this hasn’t changed for the entirety of the series.

…

But what can he even call his home now?

And will he ever be able to rest?