#tis just a drabble my good sers

[chugging-antiseptic-dye]

[inspired by this post by @synthetickitsune. i love it so much <3]

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

“Hey, are you even listening?”

“S-sorry, I just zoned out.” You muttered out the apology as you glanced away from the commotion across the plaza.

Waving a breadstick in front of your face, Jieun continued, “ I know the hero’s party is mesmerizing. But, Y/N, we are at the bottom of the pecking order here. You can’t get distracted by them! No matter what happens, do you think Jeonghan will notice us? Or, god forbid, Joshua?

“He won’t?” You reply distractingly as your eyes kept moving by itself towards the boy sitting at the center of the table. A shadow of a smile constant on his lips.

Slamming one hand on the table, Jieun said with a kind of desperate urgency in her voice, “ No! He! Won’t! He is a big shot hero. He saved the world! What are you not getting here? Please don’t let the first friend I make be braindead. I will so start crying.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t cry please.” You take both of her hands into your own and look right into her eyes, trying to convey your sincerity. Because you can’t let your new friend cry. Not when she was the only human connection you had left in the world. Trying to capture the right words from the cloudy sea of thoughts in your head, you say, “I will listen to you, don’t worry. We only have each other here.”

At this Jieun let out a small relieved smile and went on about the guild rules. The afternoon passed away swiftly with the warmth of the soft winter sun, delicious teacakes, and comforting company. Yet, when you lay down at night, you can’t help unfurl the tightly bound thoughts in your head. You can’t help recalling Joshua’s smile when he was with his friends. There he was, looking so fondly at them,as always. “My family”, he called them as you two laid side by side under the dim glow of the sun. He would whisper things in the vein of “there is nothing I would not sacrifice for them”. You wanted to ask then, “Even me? Will you even sacrifice me?” Well, now you know your answer considering he slit your throat for them for everyone.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

a/n: almost everyday i think about the 'svt + who would sacrifice you to save the world vs sacrifice the world to save you' post and i think about why joshua wants to be happy about his choice. what actually happened that made him do it? What if he didn't give the person he sacrificed a choice to save the world or die? What if he made the choice for them? What if they came back and saw him mourning them? Would they forgive him for the betrayal? Or would Joshua have to live knowing that he has the everyone's adoration for saving him but your loathing for dooming you? delicious, delicious angst hehe