#tired quark problems

[quixoticquark]

This fucking fandom is gonna make me write isn't it... Literally no one wants that. I've not written any kinda fiction since *highschool* But here I am with a blank document open...

[justmeinadaze]

Aftercare (Steddie Ask)

A/N: This an ask by @corrodedcorpses <3. She wanted something where the reader didn't know what aftercare was so the boys showed her after an instance with her boyfriend or a partner. It intrigued me! You always give me interesting ones, mama, that I can connect with! Lol I seriously didn't know what aftercare was until I started reading smut. All my exes never did it and I always felt like ugh after they would leave.

I hope I did you proud!

Warnings: Light smut (she said I could :D ), more so Steddie looking after her, there are mentions of the aftermath when her boyfriend leaves (bruised wrists, welts from a belt), Steve mentions her bleeding and Eddie gets protective, reader is stuck in a little/submissive headspace

Word Count: 2555

Steve tossed Eddie some movies on the couch as he shuffles off his Family Video vest and slams his body exhaustedly onto the adjacent sofa.

“You’re films you requested, my liege.”

“Cool, man. Thank you.”

“No problem. Where is Y/N?”

Eddie’s eyes shift towards the closed door of your bedroom. “With her idiot.”

“I thought they broke up.”

“Yeah, well, I guess not.”

The door suddenly opens, your boyfriend adorning a huge grin. “I’ll see you later, Y/N! Have a good night, boys.”

They both respond with an aggressive hm as Steve gets up to follow him out and lock the door behind him. “Fucking prick.”

“I can hear you; you know!”

“Good because I wasn’t hiding it!” 

“Hey, sweetheart. You want to watch a movie?!”

“Not tonight, Eds! I don’t… feel so hot.”

They glance at each other at your change of tone. They had known you since high school and since you guys had agreed to move in together, you all had learned each other’s little quarks. You always seemed to have a smile on your face especially around them but in every one of your relationships, you appeared to become more and more lethargic. 

You confided in them once that you felt like there was something wrong with you. 

“Maybe I’m not meant to be happy in a relationship.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course, you are, honey.” Steve couldn’t believe what he had heard. 

“Any man would be lucky to have you, princess.”

“Please, you have to say that because you’re my friends.”, you giggle.

Eddie rose from the couch as both boys headed to your room. It was oddly darker than normal and Steve flipped the switch to turn on your white Christmas lights you usually had on above your bed. Your clothes they remembered you wearing that day were tossed around on the floor but you appeared to be clothed insomething since they could see the light reflecting off the silk against your skin. You were laying on your side as the blanket covered you up to your waist. You seemed incredibly small and it scared them a bit. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N? You’re feeling sick?”

“No, Stevie. Just… tired.”

“Y/N, did that fucking asshole hurt you?” You both turned to look at Eddie as Steve followed his eyeline. Your wrists were starting to swell where you had pulled at the handcuffs that were currently hidden in your dresser. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

“No! No, no, no.” You quickly got up, running after him as he started heading for the front door. “No. It’s… it’s not what you think.”

“Honey, you’re bleeding.” 

You try to look at your behind, wincing as you sigh. “He hit me a bit too hard. NO!” Eddie starts to head for the door again as you grab his arm. “I…I wanted this. Fuck.” The metalhead’s arms shoot out to catch you as your knees buckle. “I feel really heavy and…”

“A little clingy?” As you found yourself still stuck in your little girl headspace, Eddie’s protective grasp around you had you feeling safe. You couldn’t help but nuzzle your face into his chest as you nodded. Both men look at each other with a mutual understanding of what’s going on.

“What fucking prick doesn’t do aftercare after something like this?”, Steve asks.

“What’s that? After care?”

Both sets of eyes widen at your question. “Y/N, you’re telling us, you want to do things like this but no one has ever taken care of you after?”

“Well, that stops today.” Eddie lifted you into his arms and carried you towards your bathroom. “Harrington, take over really quick, I have some first aid stuff in my room. I’ll be right back.”

Steve sits on the edge of your tub as he looks up at you with admiration. “Do you think you can stand for a shower or do you want to take a bath?” He sees something flash through your eyes that seems like trepidation. “Hey. You’re still in that headspace?” You gently nod your head. 

“That’s ok, sweet girl. That’s perfectly alright. Did you want to ask me something?”

“If…if I take a bath, will you sit with me?”

He tenderly smiles as he pulls you into his embrace. “Yeah, honey, I can do that. You can ask me and Eddie anything you want to, okay? We love you.” You grin with giddy pride at his last sentence. “This is gorgeous by the way. Did you buy it?”

Your hands fly down to run along the silk nightie you had forgotten you were wearing. “I did. It came with these cute panties and stockings. I don’t like those though. The mesh feels weird on my feet.”

“Hm, I bet. What do you like?”

You shrug as he lifts the garment over your head. “What do you like?”

“Honestly, I’m not a big fan of extras like stockings.” The pads of his fingers glid up your leg to the middle of your thigh. “I like to be able to feel my girl’s skin.” He grinned as you blushed. 

After turning off the water, he held your hand as he guided you into the tub. You flinched as you slowly lowered your behind into the warmth, your eyes darting to his after you were seated, waiting patiently for him to join. 

A pleasure filled sigh left your lips as he gradually removed every item of clothing he was wearing. You had seen both of them without a shirt numerous times but seeing him now was sending a different kind of electricity through your body. When he removed his boxers, your breath caught in your throat. He was much bigger than you expected him to be.

“Wow. Didn’t take you long to get naked, huh, Harrington?”, Eddie grinned as he entered the bathroom. Steve made a face at the boy before climbing in behind you, pulling your shoulders back so you could lean against his chest. “I got my first aid kit laid out on your bed with some comfy clothes. I was thinking after we take care of you here, if you’re feeling up to it, we could order a pizza and watch a movie.”

You smile up at him as he takes a seat on the corner of the tub so he can face you both. 

“Is it ok if I ask you some questions?” You nod your head to the metalhead’s question as Steve delicately runs his palms over your arms. 

“You said you wanted this. Wanted what exactly?”

“I like…being controlled.”, your eyes look down in shame.

“Princess, look at me. There’s no judgement here. You’re safe with us, ok? Can you repeat my last sentence back to me?”

“I’m safe with you.”

“Good. Good girl, baby.” His words with the proceeding smile made your body shiver. 

“Now you like to be controlled but it seems like the idiots you’ve been with haven’t been doing it right if you don’t know what aftercare is. It’s extremely important after playing like that.”

Your eyes meet his as your bottom lip trembles. “I just thought there was something wrong with me. That’s why…I feel like this after…like I’m broken or something.” 

Steve’s arms wrap around you as he pulls you closer to him, kissing the top of your head. Your gaze shifts between them as you feel the love they have for you radiating off them. You ARE safe.

“He hits me too hard sometimes. It makes me feel like trash especially when he just leaves after.”

“You’re not trash and you’re NOT broken.”, Eddie growls. “I fucking hate that guy. Fucking every guy you date is a fucking imbecile. I swear—”

“Can I kiss you?” His head straightens up as his brown eyes look at yours in confusion. “I’m sorry. Was that…to much? I just… seeing and hearing you both be so protective and caring���watching your lips move…I just wanted to kiss you.”

The metalhead smiles as he all but jumps into the bath making you laugh as he carefully straddles his knees on either side of both your legs. His palms grip your cheeks as he brings his lips to yours. It was a delicate kiss; careful to not cross a line but you desperately wanted more as soon as he pulled away. 

“How are you feeling now, Y/N? Starting to feel a little better?”, Steve asks, smiling as you nod your head. You were feeling so much better in fact that you grew bolder, leaning back to place your lips on his. When you pulled away, his kisses trailed up your jawline and down to your shoulder.

“How…how do you guys know about this stuff?”

“Aftercare? Because we’re fucking gentlemen.” You laughed at Eddie’s statement making them both grin seeing the personality they were used to slowly pushing through. “Sweetheart, even if you weren’t into the rougher stuff, who wouldn’t want to hold you and spend time with you after?”

He kisses your forehead before rising to his feet, water cascading from his now soaked attire. 

“Really? At least take off your clothes before stepping out so you don’t trench her floor.”

“I think you just want to see me naked, Harrington.” Eddie winks as he slides his shirt over his head and yanks down his shorts with his boxers, tossing them to the far corner of your tub. 

Jesus. How could both your friends be so well endowed and you have no idea. The metalhead reaches for your hands but pauses before you can reach up for them. 

“Is this okay? Do you feel comfortable touching me while I’m naked? I can go grab boxers or here! Maybe Steve’s will fit—”

Your palms grip his as you pull yourself up. “Eddie, it’s fine. I trust you.”

The man smiles as he reaches for a towel and dries you first before himself, tossing it to his friend to utilize as he guided you back to your bedroom. He sat on the bed as he placed you in front of him, turning you around so he can see the wounds on your behind.

You hear his breathing stutter as you feel the pads of his fingers trace down your sides. “I’m sorry. I just…you’re really fucking beautiful. I mean…I always thought you were…gorgeous…I just—”

Turning back to face him, you kiss his lips again, this time with much more vigor than before. 

“Wait, wait. F-fuck.” Eddie pants as his tongue runs along his lips. “I can’t…we can’t…not right now, Y/N. Let us…let us look after you tonight and then tomorrow…we’ll see how you feel.”

You nod as you adjust your body back to the way he had set it, finding Steve leaning against the bathroom doorframe. 

“What do you think, Ed? Maybe, we can at least reward her for being so honest with us.”

“I don’t see how that would be a problem. Just don’t move her to much so I can finish cleaning and bandaging these cuts here. Baby, what did he hit you with?”

“Belt.”

Eddie grumbled under his breath as Steve fell to his knees in front of you. You hiss as the man behind you starts his task, your hands promptly shooting out to grip the other boy’s shoulders. 

“Hey, whoa. It’s ok. I got you.”, he coos as his own palms grip your waist. “I got you, honey. Is it alright if I touch you while Munson does his thing? I can wait if you want me to.”

You adamantly shake your head as you run your hands through his hair. “Please, touch me.” Grabbing one of his huge palms off your hip, you take his fingers and guide them through your folds. “Here.”

Steve sucks in his bottom lip as he feels how wet you are, bringing his fingers to his mouth.

“Fuck me…you taste so fucking good. Eddie, you have to taste her.”

They gently shuffle you forward so the metalhead can kneel down behind you, opening your legs a bit wider as his face presses between you to push his tongue into your entrance.

“Eddie…”, you moan before the other boy follows his lead; mouth wrapping around your clit. 

The metalhead leans back as reaches for the bandages to cover your cuts on your ass. “Y/N, princess, seriously… fuck those other guys. Fuck… I’ve never tasted anything so sweet before.” He hurriedly finished what he was doing before sliding his own fingers between your puffy lips into your entrance. 

His forehead leans against your back as you whimper at the feeling of his massive digits stretching you open. You turned to look down at him when you heard him spit, wetting his hand as he stroked his length. 

“Is…is this ok?” Eddie slightly smiles when you nod, your fingers tangling in Steve’s hair as tongue flicks against your much more aggressively. “You’re so fucking tight, pretty girl. Jesus.”

Steve’s head suddenly leans against your tummy as you watch him fold into himself.

“Fuck me…”, he pants as you notice the sheen of his cum on his belly. 

He glances up at you for a brief moment before diving back into your cunt with much more determination. You groan their names, your legs giving in as you cum. Steve catches you, slowly guiding you to your knees as Eddie keeps fingering you through your orgasm. The man reaches for tissue on your bedside table, cleaning himself as the metalhead grunts and spirts of his seed land on his thigh. 

He thanks him as his friend hands him the extra tissue he pulled for him. It takes them a few moments before they realize you’re lying on your side against the floor. You feel your body lightly jostle as panties are slide up your legs. Steve lifts you by your arms to a sitting position so Eddie can throw his shirt over your head. 

“How are you feeling now, sweetheart?”, he whispers as you lean your cheek against his shoulder. 

“Safe…calm…” You nuzzle your nose into his neck. “Loved.”

Steve grins, his eyes shifting between you both as he leans up on his elbow. “Good. Because we love you. Now…you can tell that prick that he needs to do this with you every time.”

“What? What prick?”, you ask genuinely confused. 

“Your boyfriend.”, Eddie answers in sullen tone.

“Oh. I… I thought that… was this just a one-time thing? I don’t want it to be.”

“Honey, I don’t want it to be either.”

“Me either and, baby, trust me. We can give you want you want without making you feel the way you’ve been feeling.” You giggle at him as he winks, pulling your head to his lips. “Now, again, I know Harrington just wanted to see me naked but I would like to at least put on some pants so we can watch some spooky movies and eat some food.”

Steve whines as he rises to his feet and lifts you off the floor as Eddie follows. “Does it have to be scary? Can’t we watch like Sixteen Candles or some shit?”

“I like how you asked that like you didn’t bring me those movies from your store.”

“Stevie brought me Fatal Attraction a few days ago. I still haven’t watched it.”, you grin.

“Oooo… sex mixed in with a thriller. Everyone wins!”

[yourlocalmerchgirl]

Your Person

Bobby Goren X neurodivergent F!reader

Summary: Bobby has spent most if his life feeling like he didn't belong, that it wasn't possible for him to connect with someone the way everyone else does, that is until me meets you, his person.

Warnings: Cannon level violence and language. So much fluff, love and acceptance. mentions of Panic, anxiety and death/dying. Minimal use of Y/N. Very little physical description of reader

Authors note: This is story was a labor of love and my love letter to Bobby Goren and the way Vincent D'Onofrio played him. I've never connected with or seen myself represented in a character the way I do with Bobby Goren. I dont think you need to of seen Law and Order: Criminal Intent to enjoy this story.

The midsummer sun shinned down on Bobby’s face as he walked to the coffee shop. The sun feels similar to warmth that spreads throughout his chest whenever he sees you. The smile you always give him. God that smile. It’s different than the smile you give everyone else around you.

He can’t help but smile thinking about the day you met. How flustered and embarrassed you were when you’d run into him causing his coffee to spill everywhere. How he felt something tug In his chest when your big hazel eyes looked into his when you realized it spilled on him. He wanted to wrap his arms around you and tell you it was ok when it was clear you were prepared to be yelled at.

Bobby knew the moment he started falling for you. He tried to fight it at first because it scared the shit out of him. Pretty much resigning to the fact that he’d always be alone. His job was demanding, which was hard for a lot people to deal with. So he had stopped entraining anything that wasn’t serious. He wanted someone to share a life with, someone that would accept him, quarks and all. So he didn’t want to waste what little free time he had with someone who only wanted sex.

As he dips into the cafe the cashier greets him with a tired smile.

“Welcome in, just to let you know we close in 10 minutes”

“No problem, I’ll have a large coffee cream and sugar”

“Oh, Ah is (y/n) in today?”

“Umm I’m going to grab the owner” she replies eyeing him suspiciously.

Bobby doesn’t blame her, she doesn’t know him, he hasn’t been in, in about a month. She’s doing the safe thing by getting someone.

“Hey, theres this guy out front that I’ve never seen before asking for Y/N”

“Ok, I’ll go up and check it out. Why don’t you start your end of day tasks”

Stacey makes her way to the front to see who’s asking for you. She’s very happy to see it’s Bobby, the one person you’ve really taking a liking too since he started coming in.

“Hey Bobby, sorry about that”

“It’s no problem, I know she was just being safe, doing the right thing”

“She’s here, back in her usual spot doing some ordering on her laptop” Stacey says as she hands him his coffee.

“I wont stay long, I know your trying to close up”

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want. She’ll be really happy to see you, but you didn’t hear that from me” Stacey chuckles.

She’ll be happy to see me?

Bobby is rounding the corner into the seating area at the exact moment you happen to look up from your laptop.

The way you light up sends a sea of warmth crashing against his chest. He waves awkwardly and you return the wave.

“Hi” he say unable to contain the smile dancing across his face.

“Bobby! Hi. You’re alright?” The smile creeps across your face.

“What do you mean I’m alright?” He asks tilting his head to the side to watch your expression as he sits.

Fuck. You can feel your skin heating up as you pull your eyes down too your laptop.

He realizes by your reaction that he sounded accusatory when he didn’t mean too.

“I didn’t mean for that to sound that way”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just been a while since I’d seen you in…uh not that I expect you to come in. I know you’re busy. I um just was worried when it had been a while.” At this point youre face is on fire, you’re making an absolute fool of yourself with your word vomit.

She worries about me

“We’ve had several intense cases back to back. We pretty much were working around the clock. Only went home to sleep. Not that I was really sleeping either.” He says studying you intently, trying desperately to figure out if you feel the palpable connection that’s between the two of you.

“I wish I’d know, I would have brought some stuff from the cafe down for you and your partner.”

“That’s really very sweet of you”

“It’s not like you come in everyday, but regularly enough that I just thought something might of happened to you in the line of duty” you say without thinking, almost like you’d forgotten you were talking to him.

Bobby tilts his head trying to look at your face.

“You really were worried about me. I didn’t mean to worry you”

The realization crashing down on you like a brick. Fuck. I really said that out loud.

“I ah. Man I’m saying a lot of things. I’m sorry I’m trying not to be weird. Didn’t really mean to say that out loud” you say dragging your hands down your face as you pull your eyes up to find him already looking at you.

His deep brown eyes are soft, his smile kind as he watches you.

“No it’s not like that. It’s nice to know someone’s worried about me.”

“I’m sure lots of people are worried about you, you’re pretty awesome.”

OH MY GOD. I need to stop talking. What the hell am I doing. This man is not interested in my flattery. Where is literally anyone to cut into this conversation to save me from myself.

Just then as if you materialized her yourself you notice Stacey over Bobby’s shoulder coming towards the two of you.

“Did our girl over here tell you she’s testing out some new recipes for the bakery case? And that she’s knocking it out of park?”

“No she didn’t, she must of forgotten to tell me how much of a badass she is.”

Your face is beat read at that point, meanwhile the both of them are smiling ear to ear talking about you.

“Yea she’s like that, she’s too modest really. I tell her all the time she needs to brag about her pastries more often”

“Man you two are quiet the pair today” you laugh

“Besides, why brag about myself, I’m just an average baker. I’m no Gordon Ramsay”

“I don’t see Gordon Ramsay making apple danishes and apple bread. I bet you could kick his ass” Stacey adds as you all begin to laugh.

Bobby relishes bring included in this moment of banter. Seeing how light and free you are when your wall is completely down and there’s no anxiety in sight.

“I’d love to try them, can I?” Bobby cuts in.

He doesn’t miss the way your face lights up at his comment.

“Sure, I think there’s still some left from my test batch this morning let me go check”

You say before going out back to check.

“Can I ask you something about her?” Bobby asks, his voice soft with a hint of hesitation.

“Of corse you can, though I might not give you a answer”

Bobby can’t help but smile at Stacey’s direct protectiveness of you. He’s happy you have a friend like her.

“Does she have a boyfriend?”

“No she doesn’t” Stacey says arching your eyebrow in curiosity.

“Do you think she’d want to go to dinner with me?”

Stacey looks over her shoulder to see if you were coming before answering.

“I’m going to be real honest for a second. Yes, honestly I think she would love to go to dinner with you. She really enjoys when you come in and truly was worried something had happened to you when you didn’t for a while. But with that being said don’t ask her if you’re not serious about going actually. Don’t ask her just to blow her off or to only get what you want when it’s convenient for you.”

“I get where your coming from”

“I’m not trying to say you’re the type to do that. She just-she has a big heart and people love to take advantage of that. She doesn’t trust or open up easy. At times she has crippling anxiety. So just be patient with her. Your smart and perspective, I’m sure you’ve noticed that her anxiety eases when she sees that you’re here”

Bobby knows exactly what Stacey’s talking about. He picked up on your anxiety immediately, notcing that over time when he’d come in at peak times you’d sometimes be drowning in your anxiety. But he swore you’d look up and connect eyes with you and he’d see your expression soften, your body become less tense. He always thought it was his eyes playing tricks on him, letting himself see what he wanted to see. But Stacey confirming it was real made the fire in his chest burn hotter.

As they can hear you coming back Stacey leans in quickly to Bobby so you don’t hear.

“She finds comfort in you, please don’t take that for granted”

Bobby nods, you’re too close now to respond. He appreciates the serious heart to heart with Stacey.

“Hey sorry it took so long, I think they taste better heated up so I was waiting for the little oven to heat up so I could warm them up for you”

“Well I’ll leave you guys to it, I’ll be in the office for a bit doing payroll. Welcome back Bobby, it was nice to see you” Stacey offers before leaving the two of you alone.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to go through all that trouble for me”

“Oh no it’s no worries, really. Oh I ah should have asked do you need it packed up? You probably need to get back to work.”

“Im actually all done for the day. But I can go, I’m sure you want to go home.” Bobby says as he starts to stand, worried he’s over stayed his welcome.

“Oh ok, here let me pack these up for you”

You’re disappointed, Bobby can tell by your tone. He feels clueless navigating stuff like this sometimes. He never wants to come off as over baring or clingy, he’s been sold so many times that needy guys aren’t attractive.

“It was nice to see you today, hope you like the pastries” you offer unable to tamp down your smile. There was just something about Bobby that drew you too him, that made you feel like there’s this electricity between the two of you.

Bobby’s half way through the doorway when he doubles back. His hearts pounding but he just has to do it.

“Sorry, one more thing. Would you like to go to dinner with me sometime?”

“Like…on a date?” You ask shifting on your feet nervously. It couldn’t be could it?

“Yes, If you’d want that. If not id still like to go as friends.” Bobby wonders if you can see if his heart pounding in is chest because, fuck- he was nervous.

“I’d really like that…to go on a date with you”

A genuine smile rolls so quickly over both of your faces as both of you look at each other in awe.

You go around the counter to get a piece of paper and a pen.

“Here, this is my number just let me know when it works with your schedule and I can make it work with mine”

“Heres mine as well”

The way your fingers graze his when you take his card send electricity shooting through his whole body.

“I’m off the whole week because of all the over time I’ve worked, are you free tomorrow or is that to short notice?”

“No, that works for me I can do that”

Your smile makes Goren feel like he’s the only person in the world.

“Does 5 o’clock work?”

“Works for me”

“Where can I pick you up?”

“You can pick me up here”

“Oh ah I don’t want to rush you, making you get ready here”

“Oh” you let out a little laugh. “I just live upstairs. Stacey and I both do”

“Just ring the buzzer for Apartment 1 next to the graffiti covered door and I’ll come right down”

——————————————————————

The buzzer sounds as you quickly pad across your apartment to the call box.

“Hello”

“Hey it’s Bobby, sorry I’m a little early”

“It’s ok, let me grab my shoes and I’ll be right down”

Bobby fidgets with his hands, rubbing his thumb into the palm of the opposite hand while he waits.

He can’t help the smile that comes at just hearing the door click open and it only grows as you open the door and step out on to the sidewalk. The way the early evening sun hits you makes you look ethereal.

“You look beautiful, I like your dress” Bobby beams.

“Thank you so much, I had to get it when I saw it, but never had a reason to wear it” you smile.

“You look very handsome” you try to turn away but he catches a glimpse of you blushing. Bobby thinks it’s so cute when to get shy like this.

“I really like your suite, it’s a nice color on you” you say reaching over and rubbing the fabric between your index finger and thumb. “It’s soft too” you say with a smile.

Bobby lets out a content hum, the sound makes you painfully aware that you actually did in-fact feel the fabric of his suite coat.

“Oh god I’m sorry” you say pulling your focus to the ground. “I have this bad habit of feeling the texture of things”

“It’s ok, I get it. You’re a tactile person. Please don’t feel bad. I also have a bad habit of touching things. Picking things up and checking them out or playing with them. And most people really don’t like it when you touch their stuff. I try not to but I just can’t help myself.”

“You can feel my dress if you want”

Bobby can’t help but smile at the gesture and the meaning behind it.

His finger tips lightly graze the bare skin of your arm as he takes the fabric of your sleeve between his fingers.

The little giggle that bubbles out of you when the sensation of his touch tickles you leaves him breathless.

To any just passerby this scene unfolding must look awkward. And it is, but it is the must beautiful kind of awkward. The both of you showing vulnerable glimpses of yourselves to one another and being met with nothing but acceptance.

“Do you like Italian food? There’s a great place near here I thought I could take you too, if you’d like”

“I love Italian, that sounds great”

The two of you fall into comfortable small talk as you walk to the restaurant.

The two of you are met with a warm happy welcome when you walk into a quaint restaurant.

“Welcome back, Bobby! Your usual table and meal tonight?” The hostess says with a smile.

He comes here often

“I…ah actually would like table for two tonight” Bobby responds as he turns to smile at you.

“Wonderful, right this way” the waitress beams

“Their food is very good here. The veal parmesan is my favorite but you really can’t go wrong with anything here”

“Can I get anything else to drink besides water for the two of you?”

“I’ll have a glass of red wine please”

“And for you miss?”

“Oh, just water is ok for me”

“I’ll ah I’ll just stick with water too”

“No, no it’s ok, please have the wine”

“Sorry I should have asked if you were ok with alcohol.”

“Really it’s ok. It’s not like that. I just… I’m admittedly very nervous about tonight so if I mix that with alcohol, I’ll just talk your ear off” you laugh.

“I think I’d like that” he smiles. He could listen to you talk all night long.

It’s at this point you’re painfully aware that the restaurant is getting very busy. A huge party arrived taking over one whole side of the tiny space. You’re trying to ignore it, to just focus on the sound of Bobby’s soothing voice. You so badly want tonight to go well, and certainly having a panic attack within the middle of the restaurant would not help in that.

The two of you order dinner, as the loud drone of conversations are crashing together. Your heart starts pounding as all the chatter becomes impossible to sort through. You squirming around in your seat as you try to sooth yourself doesn’t go unnoticed by Bobby. He sees your pulse quickening in the glow of the restaurant, as your eyes squeeze shut. He knows right away you’re having a panic attack without you having to say anything as he springs into action.

Quietly he goes up to the hostess, explaining that you’re not feeling well and asks to pay for dinner and for it to-go.

When he turns back you’re gripping the table so tightly your knuckles are white.

Bobby kneels down next to you,smoothing his hand up and down your back. The way you relax into his touch fills his chest with that familiar warm sensation.

“Why don’t we go” he softly says into your ear.

I really fucking did it now

Letting out a pained sigh you slowly stand. You can’t even bring yourself to look at him as he guides the two of you out of the restaurant, his hand never leaving your lower back.

“Are you ok?” He tilts his head trying to look at your face.

You can feel yourself retreated further and further inward, embarrassed and upset with yourself.

“I should go, I’m sorry I ruined your night. Thank you for taking me out, or atleast trying too”

You turn to walk away but Bobby reaches out for your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

“Please wait. I’ll take you home if you’d like. But you need to know you’d your not ruining my night.”

“That’s very nice of you but…” you start but Bobby cuts you off when he sees tears in your eyes.

“Hey, do you like ice cream? What if we got ice cream and walked around the park?

“Wait you want to continue our date by getting ice cream when we couldn’t even get though dinner”

“I won’t tell if you won’t” Bobby smirks

“Ok” you smile

“Maybe there will be a lot of ducks at the pound” you say smiling up at him as the two of you exit the ice cream parlor.

“You like animals” it’s less of a question and more of making a mental note out loud.

“I do. I love animals. I like them more than most people because all they want is to give and receive unconditional love. They don’t judge you. They’re just there for you.”

“I never thought about it that way, but you’re right. It really is unfair that some of us have to feel that way.”

“It is because I don’t think you ever fully get used to being an acquired for most people. I just wish It hadn’t taken me so long to realize most people were just using me.”

Bobby’s both saddened and surprised by your comment. On one hand it hurts him that you’ve ever had to feel this way, that you’ve had to experience that same kind of loneliness. And on the other hand he’s never had someone pull the thoughts right out of his own head, to be able put to words to what that exact feeling is like.

A thought occurred to Bobby- Would she let me hold her hand. Before he can stop himself hes sliding his hand softly down your fore arm to lace his fingers with yours.

“Is this ok?��� Bobby asks bashfully asks as the two of you enter the park.

The way you lock eyes with him when you answer, the way you’re filled with pure happiness radiating off of you makes the breath catch in his throat. He’s never felt this free before with anyone and he’s prepared to make sure you feel that you’ll always feel that way too.

—————————————————————-

That one date turned into the two of you seeing eachother every day that week that Bobby was off.

That week turned into months, 4 months to be exact and as you burst onto the street below, your arms full of bags Bobby cant remember a time he was happier.

“What’s all this?” He laughs as he takes the bags as you two wait for a cab to his place.

“We havnt gotten to see each other in a couple weeks, I though I could cook dinner for us and we could just relax, watch some movies or read.”

“You don’t have to go through all that trouble”

“Well I want too, besides I got a new cookbook with some of the gift cards you gave me for the bookstore. So there’s some stuff I’ve been dying to make.

“ you know.. you didn’t have to do that you know. You didn’t have to send that gift card over”

“I know. But I was upset I couldn’t take you to the book store to get that new book you’ve been excited about. Were you able to get it?”

“Yes! I was able to get the last signed edition they had” you beam up at him, unable to contain your excitement.

“I havnt finished it yet, but it’s so good Bobby! I brought it so you could see it, can I show you?”

“Of course” he smiles as he leans against you, looking on as you show him the book.

“Do you mind if shower quickly?”

“Of course, no rush. I’ll get started on dinner. Take your time, don’t worry about me” you coo, wrapping your arms around his neck as you push yourself up on your tippy toes to kiss him.

As Bobby wipes the steam covered mirror with his towel he can’t help but stare at his own reflection, desperate to see himself the way you see him. Everything about being around you feels like a dream, still In disbelief that a girl like you would choose to spend time with him. That a girl like you who’s so kind, patient and loving wants him in her world.

Bobby knew he wasn’t for everyone, that most people thought he was to weird, obsessive and by the book. He had a short fuse when it came to other peoples bullshit and could be somewhat of a loose cannon but the moment someone made comments about him he would shrink back into himself because deep down he always believed their hateful words.

But when you look at him, your eyes are always filled with a level of love and empathy that he’s never received from anyone before. Bobby knows he’s weird, that there’s a lot about himself and his personality that he can’t help. When it comes to you though he feels free, he never feels out of place or like he doesn’t fit into society when he’s with you.

The sight of you swaying to the music you have on as you cook makes his heart thunder in his chest.

I love this women

“Dance with me for a moment while dinner cooks” Bobby whispers, his breath fanning your neck as he wraps his arms around you nuzzling into you.

“I don’t know how too” you giggle, never getting enough when he’s like this- clingy and playfully romantic.

“It’s ok, follow my lead. I’ll teach you.” Bobby relishes moments like this. He loved teaching you things.

“There, that’s it, just like that” he coos as the two of you glide around the kitchen.

You let out the cutest content hum as you buried your face in his chest. He gradually slows the two of you to a stop as he holds you In the middle of the kitchen.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks kissing the crown of your head.

You tilt your head up to find his deep brown eyes watching you intently.

“I’m thinking about how happy you make me”

Just as he’s about to reply Bobby’s work phone starts ringing. He lets out a gravely growl.

“I’m sorry, that’s work I have to get it”

“It’s ok” you whisper stepping back to busy yourself taking dinner out of the oven. You try to hide the fact that you’re sad, but it’s useless, Bobby knows he can feel it, he knows your micro-expressions like the back of his hand.

“This is Goren” he answers the phone as he steps into the living room.

The rest of the phone call is in a quick hushed tone. You can tell Bobby’s frustrated by the call.

“I-I have to go. I’m really sorry. There’s a huge development in our case and they need me”

“It’s ok. I’ll just put this in the fridge and go too”

“No no. It’s ok please stay. Make yourself at home. I will be back I just don’t know when.”

“O-okay”

This couldn’t have come at a worse time is all Bobby can think as he makes his way to the station. You’re always so good about his schedule but this is the first time he’s had to leave abruptly like that for work and while you were at his place no less. A place you havnt been many times and he knows your probably anxious right now about being there alone.

“What’s the update?”

“The manager of a motel in the Catskills called the tip line saying a father and two children matching Nathan and his kids checked into his motel a couple of hours ago. Chef wants us to go out there and stake it out.”

“Alright let’s head out then”

——————————————————————

“Sorry to have to call you in Bobby” Eames says finally breaking the silence in the back of the stake out van.

“It’s fine, wasn’t trying to be short on the phone” Bobby waves his hand as he’s looking out the window.

“Eames I think I got something” he says handing her the binoculars.

“Over there at the vending machine, I think that’s Lilly, Nathan’s daughter”

“She was pretty glued to you when we were there for questioning drew you that picture, maybe she remembers you. If she does she could get us access to Nathan.”

Eames and Bobby cautiously approach the little girl at the vending machine.

“Hi Lily, do you remember me and my partner Alex? We came to your house a few times.”

“Yes, policeman Bobby. Did you hang my picture up?”

“Of course I did, right next to my desk just like I said.” Bobby says kneeling next to Lily.

“You did! I hope everyone likes it!” Lily’s eyes light up as she scoots closer to Bobby.

“Can you tell us where you dad and brother are?” Eames asks

“They are in the room. Dad and bothers hair is turning blonde but the room is really stinky so I came out here. Dad said mine would change too.”

“He’s bleaching their hair” Bobby says locking eyes with Eames.

“Sweetheart, do you think you could take us to the room, we’d like our hair blonde too.”

“Ok, but could I have some more chips? I’m hungry”

“Yes, let’s get you some more chips” Bobby says pulling a dollar from his pocket and slipping it into the machine and handing the chips to the girl.

“Can you show us the way? we don’t know where to go?”

“Mmhmm” Lily hums happily as her little hand grabs Bobby’s.

Bobby and Eames hang back a moment as Lily enters the room.

“Daddy! My friend are here and they got me some chips!”

Nathan looks up to unexpectedly to find the pair starring back at him, scrambling he draws his gun.

“Hey..hey point your gun at me not my partner.” Bobby’s voice booms

“We’re just here to talk Nathan, we walk to help you.”

“Bull shit you don’t want to help me. You don’t give a shit about me. You just want to take my family away.” Nathan gestures angrily, turning his attention back towards Eames.

“Hey what did I tell you focus on me, not my partner.”

“We do want to help you, and we will. We will make sure that you have access to therapy and meds on the inside.”

“Fuck you man I’m not going away, you’re not putting my kids with strangers” Nathan reaches for Lilly while waving his gun at Bobby.

“Daddy please stop shouting at my friends”

“Shut up, they’re not your friends, they want to take you away from me just like they did with mommy”

“Why don’t you let my partner take the kids to the diner to get some food and you and I will have a talk.”

“Give her your gun and phone, put them on the floor and slid them over to her, no funny business” Nathan motions his gun towards Eames.

Bobby does what he’s told. He knows it’s risky but he needs to get Eames and the kids out of here.

“Lily can you draw me some new pictures to hang up at work?”

“Ok I can do that” she says as she takes Eames and her brother’s hand and they all leave.

“You know she looks up to you, ever since the two of you came poking around the house asking question she’s talked about you guys nonstop. It’s pretty cruel to tell a child you care just to get what you want.”

“I’m not lying. I hung the picture up next to my desk.”

“You’re the one lying to her about us taking her mother away.”

“If you hadn’t of been hanging around asking questions….” Bobby cuts Nathan off mid sentence.

“Nathan. Your embezzling money, stealing from your clients. We’re doing our jobs asking questions.”

“If you didn’t come around asking questions that made my wife suspicious she’d still be alive.”

“Don’t put that on me. You killed your wife not me.” Bobby shouts unable to keep his cool any longer.

“You don’t get it do you? This is a eye for a eye situation”

“So what, you want to hurt me? You want hit me? Go ahead, give me the best you’ve got.” Goren snarls.

Nathan laughs

“Only one of us is leaving this room and it’s not going to be you Bobby”

“You’re really stooping to a new low threatening a detective.”

“It’s not a threat. Your not leaving this room alive”

Bobby’s starting to panic, his heart pounding against his chest as he try’s to figure a way out.

“If you kill me youll never see your kids again, you’ll loose everything.”

“I already lost everything when you forced me to kill my wife. My only choice is to take you out.” Nathan says as he takes a step closer

“And what are you going do when your daughter comes in here and sees you’ve killed her friend.”

“Do not talk about my daughter. She needs to learn that the world is cruel and that not everyone is what they seem” Nathan spits as he digs the gun into Bobby’s chest.

Bobby’s mind races as he try’s to slow his breathing. He knows Nathan wants to see him panicking, he’s desperately trying to ease his mind. In all of his career he’s never felt this close to death, he can’t do that to Eames or to you.

“Hope you told the person you have at home that you love them because you’ll never see them again”

In an instant all Bobby sees is your face, the way you looked into his eyes as he lead you around his kitchen in a dance. Everything about it was so simple and romantic and then you told him how happy he makes you. And then he never got to tell you how happy you make him, how he’s never loved anyone the way he loves you. The idea of never getting to see what life would be like with you makes him see red and he snaps.

“Well come on, do it if you’re going to do it” Bobby Growls. The pain of his thoughts being flooded with moments that would never be with you, hurts worse than death it’s self he’s sure of it.

A rapid secession of bangs rings out from the other side of the door rendering Nathan distracted for a slipt second. Bobby lunges forward grabbing ahold of the gun and kicking his knee trying to knock him down.

He pushes against Bobby causing him to stumble back, he attempts to take a shot at Bobby but when does he pushes hard back into him. The bullet lodges into the wall as Nathan regains his footing holding the gun on Bobby.

Eames bursts through the door in this moment.

“Nathan drop your weapon” she shouts holding her gun on him.

“Your going to have to shoot me or I’m going to shoot your partner”

Nathan lunges torwards Bobby and with out hesitation Eames shoots him in the b chest in self defense.

Bobby sits there in the back of the van, his head in his hands as they make the couple hour drive back to the city.

“Are you alright, Bobby?” Eames asks needing to check on her partner.

“Am I am ok? No I’m not ok. I almost died. Almost never saw her again.” He grits out, frazzled and shaken by the whole ordeal.

“Ugh sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, I’m just shaken up”

“I heard what he said to you. You love her don’t you?”

Bobby nods in response, afraid to say it out loud.

“Does she know?”

“No” Bobby shakes his head with a low voice. He lets out a long breathy sigh as he leans his head back against the wall of the van before closing his eyes.

“I feel loved too” Bobby breaths out into the dark quietness of the van as they pull back into the station garage.

Bobby never talks like this, so Eames knows he’s being genuine and vulnerable with her.

“You go, I’ll go up and do our paperwork before I go home.”

“No it’s ok”

“You’ve had a long night, you deserve some rest. Take a few paid days off. If the captain has an issue with it he can take it up with me”

“Thank you, Eames” Bobby gives her a tight lipped smile before heading to his car.

You’re all he can think about on you his drive home. He’s so distraught and disheveled over tonight’s events. All he wants right now is for you to crowd his senses, to be in your arms with your hands messaging through his hair as you tell him everything going to be alright.

As Bobby pulls up to his places he hope that some luck is on his side, that you’ll still be there but he fears it’s unlikely. After a few minutes he drags himself inside. You left the light on above the sink for him, there’s a note telling him that dinner is in the fridge for him. He takes this as a sign that you’ve left and his shoulders sag a little.

He just stairs at the small plate of food on the counter. His nerves are still through the roof from work but he knows he needs to eat, not really remembering the last time he did. He’s aimlessly pacing around the kitchen picking at the plate of food when he notices warm dim light coming from his bedroom.

Maybe she did stay.

Bobby stops in his tracks at the sight of you sound asleep in his bed with a your book laid across your chest. He can’t help but tear up as he sinks down on the bed next to you, leaning over you to grab your bookmark off the bedside table. As he gently takes the book off your chest and places the bookmark inside he notices your wearing one of his undershirts as a bed shirt.

Softly he lets his body fall onto yours, his head nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

“Mmhmm Bobby” you hum sleepily as you wrap your arms around him tightly, one hand instinctually messaging through his short greying curls.

Bobby lets out a ragged breath as he melts further into you.

“What time is it? I should go and let you get some rest.”

“Please…don’t go. Don’t leave me alone” Bobby chokes out.

“I-I I’m not going anywhere Bobby”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not tonight, not right now. I’m just to-I was just to scared I’d never see you again. I just want to be near you”

“Why don’t we take a shower, that will help sooth you.

Bobby watches you in complete awe of the way you move around the bathroom getting the shower ready, at how caring and loving you are with him. It’s hard for him to believe that all of this is real. That someone like you would truthfully care for him, would want to spend time with him. It’s hard for him to trust people because of his line of work and the life hes had, but opening up to and trusting you was the best decision he ever made.

Taglist: @malindacath @aselys @jupiteress @yesalwayswelles @samfromstardewsgf23 @pixiehex1985 @celticwitchofsorrow @capondi @thatsjustdandy @storywriter12 @namesirrelevant @lzrdonaleash @thegirlthatwillstealurman @modestlyabsurd @cheyanne-chan @darkangelforever333 @gertieisayellowjeep @shuilian @elefrog25-blog @nightsore @dumbasswalkinghere @liviadrusilla44 @musicalwayshelp0193-blog @malevolent-muse @mandy426 @missingfromthephotographs

[walkingstackofbooks]

"Come on, tell me what's up."

Jadzia was supposedly sitting with Julian in Quark's to have a long-overdue gossip with her friend, but after a few minutes of pleasant chatter, Julian had gone silent, and Jadzia was tired of waiting for him to volunteer what had happened.

Julian blinked, peering up at her over his screen as though he'd entirely forgotten she was there. "Sorry... what?" he asked slowly.

"You've been staring at your PADD, biting your lip, ever since you got that message? What was it?"

Julian's answering sigh was decidedly world-weary for someone who had yet to turn thirty. "Oh, nothing," he said, waving her off. "Just... Well. The commander's invited me to dinner on Thursday."

In Jadzia's books, being cooked for by Benjamin did not deserve Julian's despondency. "And that's bad because...?"

"It's not bad! Of course it isn't, it's nice to be asked, I'm- I'm looking forward to it--"

"You're an awful liar, Julian."

He grimaced at her. "Okay, I was looking forward to it. But then he sent me this and, I don't know, Jadzia - okay, he means well, but I'm not sure I can face it."

Jadzia looked at the message displayed on the PADD. >>I'm deciding what to cook for Thursday. I know you're not a fan of beets, are there any other foods you don't like?<< it said, giving her no clue at all as to why Julian was suddenly so anxious.

"Seems normal enough to me," she remarked. "What's the problem?"

That clearly had been the wrong question to ask. Looking away from her, Julian leant back against the chair, almost seeming to shrink as he pulled his shoulders into himself.

"I know it's stupid, and I should be more grown-up about it, but I just, I don't..." He reached over to take the PADD back, and started to stare at it again, as if the message contained some secret code that Jadzia was unaware of. His fingers were tapping a rapid pattern against the metal, and Jadzia's brain was working overtime to try and figure out what her friend was so anxious about.

"Come on, Julian, I can't help if you don't tell me what's bothering you."

Taking a deep breath, Julian looked up at Jadzia seriously. "Should I lie to him?" he asked in one quick breath, so earnestly that Jadzia had to lean over and reread the message, certain she must have missed something.

"Lie to him about what?" she asked, having assured herself that yes, Benjamin's question had been completely innocuous. "About what you don't like to eat?"

"Well, yeah..." Julian said quietly, shrugging. "Would that be so wrong?"

Understanding filtered through Jadzia's mind, and she reached out to squeeze Julian's arm. "You don't need to be embarrassed that you don't like some foods," she said, smiling gently. "Benjamin's not going to judge you for it."

"Even when I can't eat the dinner he cooks?" Julian responded sourly, snatching his arm away. "It won't matter what he does with them, I can't eat beets, Jadzia, I just can't."

Her eyes narrowed, and she looked at him coldly. "Hold up, are you saying that you think Benjamin wants to make you a dinner that you don't like?"

Julian frowned at her. "Well... no... He wants to make me like it, right? That whole dad-thing of changing my mind about beets and stuff, like that's never been tried before."

For a few seconds, words deserted Jadzia; all she could do was shaker her head at Julian in confused disdain. "Why would you think Benjamin would be so deliberately cruel?" she asked eventually. "It's not like he forced them on you at the staff dinner, we all saw your reaction. Why would you assume he's not simply asking you so that he can avoid cooking something you dislike?"

Now it was Julian's turn to stare wordlessly at Jadzia, his shoulders slackening as he processed what she had said. A few moments later, and his eyes had returned to the PADD once more, running over those few lines of text more times than Jadzia thought was really necessary.

"You really think that's what he meant?" he asked, scowling at the screen. "I guess... I guess that would make sense..."

Jadzia rolled her eyes. "Of course that's what he meant," she said. "Although if you really need confirmation I can always ask him."

"No!" Julian's head shot up to look at her, his eyes wide. "No, you don't need to do that, Jadzia - I'm just tired, I just read it wrong, that's all... You- you don't need to tell him about this. Please?"

"There's really nothing to be worried about, Julian," she scoffed. "You know he'd probably laugh it off--" Julian sent her a look of sheer panic, and she held her hands up placatingly. "...but no, I won't tell him anything, okay?" she continued quickly. "How much sleep did you get last night, anyway? You're really not acting like yourself."

Julian shrugged. "Not enough, evidently," he muttered, packing his PADD away in his bag and standing up. "Thanks, anyway, Jadzia," he said, smiling at her in that awkward, uncertain way of his. "I'm going to head back to my quarters now, I think."

"That's probably for the best," Jadzia agreed. "Get some rest. Tomorrow it's my turn to be the tired one."

"Funny," replied Julian dryly. He fiddled with his bag strap, seemingly reluctant to leave.

"Are you going?"

"Yeah, I just... Jadzia, you know I didn't mean anything- I mean, I wasn't trying to imply that I thought Sisko is, you know, cruel, or whatever, right? It was only that... Well, I thought- Well, no, I wasn't thinking--"

"Go to bed," Jadzia laughed, cutting him off. "You are thinking way too much right now. I'm still not sure how that idea crossed your mind, but clearly you're too tired to be coherent right now. I'm sorry I was cross, okay?"

"It's okay," said Julian quickly. "I was being stupid anyway."

"Just a bit," she replied, smiling at him fondly. "But then, I guess that's just you."

"Yeah. Just silly old me."

As he walked away, Jadzia felt a prickle of unease reach across her chest; Julian's smile had still not reached his eyes, and she wondered if her joke had been in good taste, given how anxious Julian apparently became when sleep-deprived. But she shrugged it off, reaching for her surprisingly untouched drink. If Julian was still in low spirits tomorrow, she'd apologise, but most likely a decent night's sleep would restore his normal good mood. There was no reason to worry.

[cdr2002]

The prime and mirror DS9 crews have to team up to deal with some kind of crisis. The Prophets resurrected Mirror Sisko and Mirror Kira has reluctantly been granted Federation asylum. Prime Odo and Ben are back from the Great Link and wormhole respectively. Mirror Jadzia didn’t actually die and has recently escaped Alliance custody.

But there’s just one problem

They need to sort out nicknames to avoid confusion.

The Leetas and up assigning them

Prime universe:

Dad (they decided this was his most distinguishing trait from Mirror Sisko. Jake inspired this choice)

Colonel (kinda tired of this shit but trying to make the best out of it)

Dax (has a lot to talk about with Rom later)

Chief (way too chipper and positive for Smiley’s comfort but doesn’t realize it)

Doctor (thinks it makes him sound distinguished)

Ambassador (Worf doesn’t like it)

Garak (intrigued)

Quark (not excited to be seeing these people again)

Rom (has a lot to talk about with Dax later)

First Lady (Fancy, Leeta digs it)

Nog (“where’s the other me?”)

Jake (misses his mirror mom, avoiding the Intendant. Not sure what to make of his mirror dad)

Odo (hmmph)

Kasidy (very weirded out)

Mirror universe:

Pirate (he digs the swashbuckling vibes)

Intendant (she volunteered to go by this)

Smiley (*exasperated O’Brien sigh* cannot shake this nickname)

Jules (hates it, hasn’t been called that since he was a kid)

Zee (Mirror Leeta calls her this already)

Tuvok (kinda wants to meet his prime self but isn’t too fussed about it)

Dabo Girl (Mirror Leeta’s trying to make it punk)

Jadzia (keeping it simple)

Regent (prisoner, does not want to be here)

alternatively: J-Dax and E-Dax

[thegeminisage]

ok! it's time for a ds9 update. last night we squeezed in "move along home" and "the nagus."

move along home (ds9):

i am Informed this is a divisive episode but honestly i had fun w it!!

nice 2 see jake always. every time jake is on screen w his dad sisko my best friend sisko get to exude good dad energy. love that.

like. please. he's gonna give jake the talk? at 14??? 14 is too late. he knows everything. also lmao the fact that nog there ferengi where women don't wear clothes told him everything. i'm choosing to ignore my annoyance with ferengis as a whole and find that funny because of sisko's reaction

reasonably funny antics between quark and odo here. i am getting a little tired of odo not getting anything to do besides flirt with quark, but then i have to remind myself that odo had an episode all to himself quite literally six episodes ago, it's just our insane watch order + bad batch and natla coming out that makes it feel longer to me

quark like screaming on his knees begging not to have to put someone to death when nbody was gonna die anyway was actually really funny, but i do like the nuance in his kneejerk reaction when he found out the pieces were people, which was to forsake pride and ask odo to play for him. he could have gotten defensive for the bit, which he did do later, but his first reaction was to be scared which is like completely normal and went a long way towards humanizing him in an otherwise VERY silly episode

my favorite moment of this episode, besides the part where they hotboxed the shap, was when those little balls of light were coming towards them and sisko was like FIND COVER and julian bashir, instead of finding cover, stood directly aainst the wall they were aiming at, ass first. and then died. i want that twink obliterated.png

the nagus (ds9):

thank you to whomstever warned me about this episode

it was not good and it did suck bad. i think this was the first real dud ds9 gave us (i'm not counting the q one cuz that was basically a tng episode in disguise). i feel like it would be sooo easy to walk back some of the really awful elements of the ferengi but instead of doing that we have chosen to crank them up to 11. sexism, antisemitism, etc etc...

my other problem is that. and before anyone gets mad i have a touch of faceblindness. I CANNOT TELL THOSE FERENGI APART. they gave two of the ferengi the same nose and i was totally lost trying to follow the plot.

quark holding the idiot ball. he's dumb in his own way because everyone on that space station is using their last brain cell but he's also very shrewd. so it just felt off. and again odo had nothing to do except flirt with him but that's a me problem

BUGS FOR DINNER. i hated this episode in more ways than one

THAT SAID. we finally got to see o'brien again! and shockingly i really really really really liked the b plot

i did go blind with rage when nog got pulled out of school. yes. but the rest of it.

first of all it's really funny that jake is running around with nog all the time and their families are both going DON'T!!! and sisko is like Oh No My Son Has Discovered Girls when there is every evidence he is even now discovering boys

SECONDLY sisko reminding o'brien that one day his adorable little three year old will be 14 and the light leaving o'brien's eyes

but my favorite part is that jake wasn't being late to curfew because he's a bad kid or falling under a bad influence. he's a GOOD kid doing an AWESOME thing. idk, it was really sweet that like, even when sisko was like "yeah racism's bad but with ferengi it's different" jake was like "is it? :/" and then went right on teaching his buddy how to read. and now he's earned dad's permission to hang out with nog finally. it was a fun little subplot that i didn't realize was going anywhere and then it did. a very pleasant surprise and kept the episode from being a complete drag.

also, dax coming it and daintily sampling sisko's soup or whatever, then deftly getting rid of sisko so she could help herself to a giant heap lmao. queen

anyway, even though that's definitely been the worst ds9 ep so far, it wasn't NEARLY as bad as some of tng's duds. i'm thinking specifically of "code of honor," "violations," etc. like it could have been so much worse. i'm not going to delude myself into thinking we're past all the clunkers just yet, but i was still expecting a solid hour of agony and what i got was not that. not good by any means but not tng. whew!

TONIGHT: "starship mine" and "lessons" from tng. thots and prayers🙏

[episodicnostalgia]

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, 106 (February 7, 1993) - "Q-Less"

The Breakdown

Jadzia returns from a trip to the Gamma Quadrant with a human woman named Vash, who claims to have been there for a couple years.  Regularly that wouldn’t make sense (the Gamma quadrant is very far away, and the wormhole was only just discovered a few episodes ago), but fans of TNG will recognize her as Picard’s old flame who became pet-travel-buddy to Q, a guy notable for being able to do literally anything he wants. We find out that Vash has parted ways with Q because she grew tired of dealing with his narcissistic bullshit, and she’s ready to retire on the profits of all the treasures she collected with her omnipotent sponsor.  But Q is pretty choked about Vash leaving him, and so he decides to hang around DS9 and see if he can’t change her mind.

While Quark sets up an auction for Vash’s Gamma treasures, Q sets about giving Sisko grief over the station’s latest technical troubles. It turns out one of Vash’s items-for-sale (a fancy glowing orb) is actually some kind of unhatched stingray-space-baby that’s dragging the entire station towards the wormhole (and destruction) in an attempt to return home.  Thanks to a few helpful hints from Q, along with a healthy dose of technobabble, Sisko and Co. figure out what's going on in time to beam the Stingray-baby back into space.  The Station is safe, and Q agrees to leave Vash alone.

The Verdict

The problem with this episode is that it kind of expects that you to know what Q’s deal is. The writers do their best to bring the audience up to speed on Q and Vash’s backstory, but it feels like we’re getting the sloppy seconds to a TNG story arc. At the end of the day I think Q’s dynamic is just better tailored to Picard’s more rigid demeanour; besides Sisko already has his own nonlinear space-deities to contend with.

2 Stars (out of 5)

Additional Observations

(Future) Hetero-Boyfriends: It’s hard to like Julian Bashir in these early episodes. He’s fairly sexist, and trying way too hard to be a Fuck boi, but thankfully his friendship with Miles O’Brien will become a saving grace for the character. That’s still a ways off as O’Brien’s disdain over witnessing Bashir’s conduct on a date is all too apparent, and it’s fun to watch.

Q notes that Sisko is easier to provoke than Picard, but afterward the commander and his entire crew are pretty good at keeping their cool while mostly ignoring him. Maybe that’s why he never came back.

[karlyanalora]

Brainstorm was supposed to be happy.

He got the happy ending, questing forever aboard the Lost Light. Endless adventures and no goodbyes. Perceptor liked him! They were simpatico, friends, equals and partners in the lab.

So why did he feel empty?

The first two weeks had been great. They’d done it! They were home free. Brainstorm and Perceptor practically lived in the lab, and Perceptor was eager to hear everything Brainstorm had to say. He even hardly got after Brainstorm.

It didn’t feel real.

And then it did.

They were safe. Things were quiet. The parties died down. Things started to fall into a rhythm.

And Brainstorm didn’t feel like getting out of his berth in the mornings.

He’d roll out of berth and head to the lab. But gone was the spark of joy he felt from inventing. His responses to Perceptor became monosyllabic. He was tired all the time. To tired to accept Perceptor’s invitations to Swerve’s or Nautica’s to movie night. But when he tried to recharge, he spent most of the night staring at his ceiling.

“You should let Lotty look you over,” Nautica told him. 

They were sitting at Swerve’s. Brainstorm was resting his head on his arms on the table, staring at the bubbles rising in his drink.

“You sound like Perceptor,” Brainstorm said.

“And you ignored him?”

“First Aid says I’m fine.”

“Did you tell him what the problem is?”

“I’m just tired, Nautica.”

Nautica frowned. “You can talk to me, you know. About anything.”

Not anything. Not about grief. Not about Skids. Not about how much it hurt to watch Nautica throw Skids away.

Velocity had explained what happened. About what Nautica had been trying to do. Brainstorm understood. Didn’t mean the consequences didn’t suck.

“I know,” Brainstorm said.

Rewind got plastered the fourth week.

He came into Swerve’s alone and drank a Chromedome-sized glass of Engex. Brainstorm knew from Chromedome it only took Rewind three sips to start giggling and making up words. A glass that big sounded downright dangerous.

Needless to say, the little bot was wasted. Wasted and sobbing so hard his fans had stalled. Swerve only called Chromedome when Rewind started screaming.

Rewind wouldn’t let Chromedome touch him. It was probably the first time Chromedome had called Brainstorm for anything since the first time he turned his needles on himself. The little bot was a mess, his screaming incomprehensible. 

Brainstorm picked him up and carried him to med bay. He would have left the couple there, except Velocity stopped Chromedome at the door.

“I think it’s best if you stay outside,” she said.

Chromedome had looked pleadingly at Brainstorm.

“I’ll stay,” Brainstorm said.

First Aid was trying hard to calm Rewind down.

“I let him die!” Rewind sobbed. “He was so good. Why didn’t he get to come with us? Didn’t Dominus deserve a happy ending?”

The next day found Minimus staring at the bubbly drinks behind the bar. Megatron had sat beside him.

“He’s right, you know,” Minimus had said. “Dominus did deserve a happy ending. All those millions of years of faithful service…”

Megatron had placed a giant hand on his tiny shoulder, and they’d just sat there for a long time.

“I wish I had found a way to bring Soundwave,” Megatron admitted.

Brainstorm heard this all second-hand, of course. It was strange; Perceptor wasn’t much for gossip.

The fifth week, Roller came to the lab. Brainstorm walked out. He’d invented time travel. He was the reason Roller was saved (and needed rescuing.) Time travel had saved a lot of people, actually.

But not Quark.

There was no saving Quark. Brainstorm had spent a long time ignoring that fact. Not thinking about how he had let Quark die. He didn’t even know what Quark would have wanted him to do. It didn’t matter. Brainstorm was too weak to have respected those wishes either way. It doesn’t count as choosing not to do something when you couldn’t have gone through with it anyway.

Ever since Quark had died, Brainstorm had spent his whole life trying to bring the microscope back. And then he’d spent it trying to keep up with life on the Life Light and life trying to get back to the Lost Light.

But now it was quiet.

Brainstorm felt a lot of empathy for Rewind. But he’d get over it. He had Chromedome.

Brainstorm would be a lot more worried if Chromedome hadn’t had his needles removed their first week on Quest Two: Electric Boogaloo.

The sixth week, they found a planet.

Perceptor signed himself and Brainstorm up for part of the exploration crew.

“We’re picking up lots of organic material,” Perceptor explained. “See? It’s a green and blue world like Earth. Probably covered in plants and animals. Maybe you’ll find some new explosives.”

“Maybe,” Brainstorm said, continuing to stare out the viewport.

The planet was covered in plants. Flowers mostly. Hound was rambling that these were Earth flowers, and it was impossible to see roses and birds of paradise growing side by side in a humid jungle. Brainstorm wasn’t paying to much attention, too busy trying to keep the vines from catching on his wings.

“I’m too big for this,” he grumbled.

“I thought you’d be excited to explore a new planet,” Perceptor said.

Brainstorm shrugged. He broke free from a vine, some of it sticking to his turret. As he pushed through the growth, more and more of it got stuck in the grooves of his armor.

“These are some very tall hyacinths and black dahlias,” Perceptor muttered behind him.

Brainstorm tripped, the vines (ivy his processor supplied) tangled around his feet and now bits of them cut off at his knees. He struggled to his feet and caught sight of Perceptor, purple hyacinth, and black dahlia flowers cut off along with stem bits on all his grooves. It made him smile.

They trudged on. Each step felt heavier than the last. Brainstorm tripped again, falling to his knees with a thud. He was so tired. Something cool was whipping around his plating like a cocoon. It was comfortable.

Brainstorm heard a yell as he lay down, surrendering to the ivy wrapping around him. His HUD warned him that his vents were filling with vines and overheating was a real danger. He ignored them. Just out of reach was a single red spider lily. He watched it as his eyelids slipped closed. He was so tired. So, so tired…

---------------------------------------------

Brainstorm was sitting in front of Skids plinth.

Someone sat next to him. “You know, this isn’t what I wanted.”

Brainstorm turned to look at Skids. “Yeah, well, I didn’t want you to kill yourself by crawling off the operating table.”

Skids nodded sadly. “I know. Quark didn’t want me to die over him either.”

Brainstorm straightened. “Quark…?”

“He’s not here,” Skids said. “He was worried if he came, you’d be okay with this.”

“Okay with what?”

“Dying,” Skids said. “Which Quark and I are not okay with.”

Brainstorm lay back among the spark flowers. “At least rent in the Pit is cheap.”

“Don’t say that,” Skids pleaded. “Thinking like that is what killed me. We want you to be happy. I died so you could live and be happy.”

“You’d have lived if I just went through with it-”

“Stop it!” Skids shouted. “Stop living in the past. Let go! You are surrounded by people who want you around, and you’re stuck pining over a dead bot who didn’t even know your name!”

“But he could have,” Brainstorm said. “He will.”

“So I suppose Nautica should have just followed me to the grave then,” Skids said. “Just rolled over and died the next time something tried to kill.”

Brainstorm sat up, engine revving. “No!”

“That’s what you’re doing-”

“She tried to save you!”

“And she didn’t for the good of the living,” Skids said. 

Brainstorm got to his feet and began to pace, arms waving wildly. “Everyone says I made the right choice. I didn’t make a choice. I couldn’t do it. That’s not a choice.”

“Alright,” Skids said. “But if Quark asked you to do something now, would you do it?”

“Yes-” Brainstorm turned around and came face-to-face with Quark.

“Live,” the microscope said.

“What?” Brainstorm said.

“I’ve been watching you,” Quark said. “You have people who care about you. You have more inventions to make. Watching you down there gives me joy. I’m tired of people dying in my name; once was enough, thank you. I want you to live.”

“But I miss you,” Brainstorm said. He reached out, and Quark stepped back awkwardly.

Brainstorm drew his arm back.

“I see,” he said. “I still would have wanted you to live.”

“I could see you doing the same thing for any of your friends,” Quark said. “Of which, I hope to someday be one.”

“I never got to say goodbye,” Brainstorm said.

“You never got to say hello,” Quark chuckled.

Brainstorm looked at Skids. “I miss you.”

Tears were glistening in Skids eyes. “I do, too. Look out for Nautica.”

Brainstorm rushed forward and pulled Skids into a hug. He glanced back at Quark.

“I look forward to saying hello again,” he said to Quark. “And wooing you properly,” he added with a wink. “I can be quite charming.”

Quark rolled his eyes with a smile. “But…?”

“You might have missed out on the chance of a lifetime,” Brainstorm admitted.

He turned back to Skids and squeezed him tighter. “I miss you so much. It’s not fair; I didn’t expect it to hurt so much.”

“Me neither,” Skids admitted. “Promise me to learn to live for yourself?”

“Promise.”

“Goodbye,” Skids whispered.

Brainstorm woke up with ivy vines sliding off him and the spider lily in his hand, Perceptor hovering above him.

One apology and scientific hypothesis later, it was determined that the planet was magic. (“Rodimus will never let us live it down,” Perceptor muttered.) The plants were manifestations of a bot’s inner issues and what they needed to do to begin to overcome them. Ivy for not letting go and unshaking devotion. Spider lily for final goodbyes. Black dahlias for betrayal and purple hyacinths for guilt. Yellow daffodil for apologies and hope for forgiveness. Whirl had found a small orange and white bot buried under a mound of forget-me-nots.

That night, Brainstorm placed the spider lily in a glass of water and resolved to check in on Rung. And let Perceptor know his apology had been accepted, and he was forgiven for being a mutineer and temporarily the ship’s greatest scientist. And hang out with Nautica and get them both in trouble with Magnus. And have Perceptor start getting after him again. And talk to him and Nautica about how he was feeling, even if it was all illogical and depressing. And tell Rung he remembered him. And…well, start living again.

hedera helix + lycoris radiata

spider lily: final goodbyes

ivy: not letting go, unshaking devotion

[galactic-magick]

Observant: Odo x Reader

Summary: Odo has not stopped watching you and you start to figure out why.

Words: 1.1k+

Author’s Notes: Another Odo fic cuz I love the goo man :)

-

-

-

Every since you’ve come to Deep Space Nine, the Chief Security Officer has had his eyes on you.

He must think you don’t notice. You can feel him staring at you wherever you go, and it’s making you a little nervous. Does he suspect you of something? Have you committed a crime without realizing it?

To be fair, it didn’t start out being creepy. It started with just a few simple looks now and then, like he does with everyone. But then he began to frequent the places you go everyday at the same times, even more so than he does with Quark. His gaze is always on you during meetings regardless if you’re the one talking or not, and he goes out of his way to chat with you and ask questions about you. You don’t know him very well, and you’ve certainly never met anyone else of his species, but this behavior seems weird for anyone.

One afternoon you’re grabbing a drink at the bar, chatting with a few officers, when Quark motions for you to look behind you.

“Would you look at that, right on schedule,” he chuckles as Odo walks in.

You swiftly turn back around, “Do you know what his deal is?”

“No one ever knows what his deal is. And he certainly wouldn’t tell me,” Quark shrugs.

“I think I know,” Rom nods vigorously. “He probably likes-”

Quark pushes him away, “Shut it, Rom. If Odo liked someone like that, I’d know. I know much more about romance than you,”

“But I heard Jadzia and Kira talking about it yesterday-”

“Rom!”

“I’m sorry, what are you talking about?” you butt back into the conversation.

“Don’t listen to my brother. He doesn’t know anything,”

“Yes I do! I heard them say they think-”

You roll your eyes and start walking away. You’ve witnessed plenty of their bickerings, and you’re a bit too tired to listen to another one. Truthfully, you are a bit interested in what they have to say about Odo, but not enough to make you stay.

Funnily enough, though, that’s only the first time the topic comes up.

A week later, you’re playing darts with Miles and Julian, when you see Odo walk in out of the corner of your eye.

“He seems to always be here when we’re playing, doesn’t he?” Julian says.

“Who?” Miles doesn’t look up.

“The Constable. He’s always watching our games from afar,”

“He’s just making his rounds like he always does,” he puts the next set of darts in your hand. “Your turn, Y/N,”

You start throwing, trying not to let the conversation and the feeling of you being watched distract you.

“It’s just...strange. He wasn’t here this much before Y/N started playing with us,”

Your last dart completely misses and lands on the floor.

“Sorry,” you mumble.

“No problem at all! You were in the zone, I was starting to think you might beat me this time,” Miles laughs.

“Miles, don’t you get it? He obviously-”

“Julian, you’re breaking everyone’s focus. Now take your turn,”

The next time your hear the crew gossiping about Odo, it’s in the Replimat. Jadzia and Kira are sitting a few tables away from you, and they seem to not know you’re there.

“You know, I did ask him about it, and you know what he said? ‘They’re just very intriguing’,” you overhear Kira.

“He’s been watching them for months now, literally everyone notices it,”

Maybe it really is about you.

You’ve tried to brush off all these conversations about Odo’s behavior, but your gut seems to be right: he’s definitely targeting you specifically. He’s not watching anyone else like this, and you want to know why.

You take your last bite of food and head back to your quarters. As interested as you are in what else they have to say, you don’t want to eavesdrop too much on a private conversation about a friend they’ve known much longer than you have.

The corridors are pretty crowded at the moment, and you approach your door a little too quickly, running straight into someone accidentally.

“Oof, sorry,”

You look up, and it’s none other than Odo himself.

Oh no.

“My apologies, Constable,”

You put your passcode in and open the door, Odo still watching.

“Actually, how about you come inside for a minute? I want to talk to you,”

“What about?” he asks as the door closes behind him.

Finally, all your composure leaves you and all the conversations you’ve overheard become too loud in your head to ignore.

“Look, Odo, I don’t know what your problem with me is, but you need to explain yourself. Why do you follow me everywhere? Why are you always watching me? Everyone around thinks you’re obsessed with me like I’m some sort of criminal!”

A vague expression of surprise at your outburst washes over his face, “Y/N, you misunderstand. I am the Chief of Security, it’s my duty to observe everyone on this station,”

“It’s more than that, though, don’t act like it isn’t!” your voice raises. “I haven’t done anything wrong! So why am I the only one you’re constantly watching and interrogating? Why have you memorized my entire schedule so you’re always where I am? Why can’t you explain yourself Odo?”

“I don’t know!” he yells.

There’s silence between the two of you as you continue to glare at him.

“I don’t…” he starts. “I don’t know why I’m so drawn to you, Y/N. I really don’t know,”

Your glare fades, and you see the pain in his eyes.

“I don’t understand it myself, that’s why I can’t explain it. There’s just something about you that intrigues me, it makes me want to know you better. So I’ve been watching you and following you, trying to figure out what it is. I never meant to scare you or make you feel paranoid, I apologize,”

“Are you serious?” you’re not sure whether to gasp or laugh. “If you wanted to get to know me why didn’t you just ask me to lunch or something?”

“Because you’ve been avoiding me!”

“I’ve only been avoiding you because you’ve been acting like a creep!” you retaliate.

Another beat of silence.

“Well,” he grunts. “It seems we had a severe miscommunication,”

“Clearly,” you sigh, taking a seat on your couch and leaning back into the cushion.

He sits down across from you, “I think I understand the problem,”

“Do you now?”

“My job is my life, Y/N. The security officer part of me never fully turns off. I’m very good at my job, and my methods usually work well for their purposes. But they do not work for others,”

You nod for him to continue.

“I treated you like an investigation--like a case--because that’s what I’m good at. But now I realize that I should not pursue people I’m interested in personally the same way I pursue a criminal. I hope you can forgive me,”

You smile, “Of course I forgive you, Odo. How about we just start over, okay?”

“I would like that.”

-

Requests Status: I am currently not taking requests right now because it’s finals week for me, I’m just writing a couple short fics when I can. Once my semester is done and I’m on winter break I’ll probably start taking Star Trek requests though! Stay tuned :)

[netheritenugget]

hi id love to hear your opinion on something: i don't like automated farms . yes it makes getting resources easy and its great but it makes things boring very fast because when someone have farms for everything it cut down so much of the exploring /mining part of the game

I have heard this brought up about Minecraft before. Once you have the means to survive and thrive, what more is there to do? Of course, some of Minecraft's core communities are the redstone engineers and farm tutorial makers. The developers can't nerf them without losing the parts of the game that people actually like. So, what to do with the late game? Dunno.

I'm not really a redstoner so I still have to explore for things I need, but it's a good point. I think keeping the excitement of the world is key, which is partly why I personally don't tryhard too many farms, because even if resource gathering isn't especially exciting, it's still interesting. I think the grind of farming is also probably why Technoblade got tired of Hypixel Skyblock, which seems to try to solve this problem by making people grind more, somehow.

"(Minions) as such represent the only way to achieve the dream that all Skyblock players share; which is to not have to play anymore." –Technoblade

I think this lack of a challenge later on in the normal game mode is also why builders like Philza enjoy Hardcore Mode so much. Even if you have the best stuff, all the farms, everything you do has a risk not present in the other modes. It keeps things exciting. And for the modders, if the late game is boring? Just add something new and unfamiliar you have to adapt to all by yourself, which is especially challenging if the mod doesn't have a wiki.

As for me, I don't really tend to progress in my worlds enough to reach that stage, so I don't have my own opinion. So we'll see in my Quark Brew world how that turns out.

[quixoticquark]

I have literally 7 book projects sitting on my work bench and open on my laptop and somehow I have decision paralysis on all of them…

[gaulemtypefemale-dm-l-016]

3d, 5d and 5n? :)

3d. Rank the endings (for one game of your choice or the true endings of the 3 games)

In terms of all games, I think I would rank 999 ending > VLR ending > ZTD ending.

However, each one of them gave me a different experience so I really enjoy them as a whole package. For example, when I finished VLR, I felt I needed more. The experience had been so intense that I wanted to play ZTD right away. On the other hand, ZTD's true ending made me feel very introspective, even if the writting felt lacking sometimes.

I ranked 999's ending higher because I feel like 999, in general, felt more concise and it had my favourite cast. I loved the epilogue and how the game could simply end there and not even have a sequel. It felt like a complete game by itself. Of course I was a bit desperate with the situation between Akane and Junpei, and how they ended up in separate ways, but it felt fitting.

As for VLR I really enjoyed the plot twist. I felt the true ending was a bit too long, like a never ending ride, but, despite the confusion, I enjoyed the general explanation of it. I also enjoyed the sad tone of the story, and I absolutely loved some of the reflections from the another time (even if not considered as canon).

However, the game asked for more.

And there's where ZTD enters. I had some problems getting used to the cinematics of the game and the characters, and, at the time I played, some things felt weird, like how suddenly it seemed so simple to just shift. As for the ending, I really like how it was put as a moral dilemma, a ZERO TIME DILEMMA, in fact, the situation of shifting (not sure if to think that the shifting until then had been made too easy, or it was purposedly used so that only later they had to face the fact that they doomed their other selves). The ending made me think a lot about how, despite them being alive at the end, despite this seemingly good turn of events, it still felt all like a gamble, as the begining of the game. In the end we didnt' even know the identity of the terrorist, and they still doomed their first ending iteration, for their last iteration (which has the trauma from playing the decision game).

Delta's character is generally a source of memes due to his quotes, but his words still left some marks. His whole plan was convoluted. It's almost like the second nonary game, but here the multiple timelines had to happen in order for this future to come true, and for him and Phi to exist.

I also love the ending theme and it plays very well, complementing this interminable dilemma mood the characters live through. I also love how, in the end, we can interpret Delta as a character portraying the player: "One of Delta's motivations for creating the Decision Game: he can't shift himself, but can read the minds of those who experienced other timelines, and was interested in learning about them. Given that Delta is technically the Player Character, this is probably a meta-narrative commentary on player curiosity" (taken from ZTD TV tropes).

So in the end this was all to say that, despite liking 999's ending better for how solid it seemed to me, the other games' endings also deserve a lot of credit for their worth.

(I didn't know the ranking was for the endings of all games or one in specific so I went with this, but I may try to rank for a specific game later).

5d. Do you consider Another Time to be canon? If so, do you have any theories on ?'s identity

I think at the time I finished ZTD I found that Another Time was not considered canon. Nevertheless I really liked its contents so I like to pick elements from it and incorporate in canon. One of my favourite part of it is Tenmyouji’s thoughts on this plan of jumping to the past and change it. The bikers’ story is one of my favourites there and I felt it was a message about how, despite losing Akane, he found Quark along his journey in this doomed timeline, and how, even if their plan works, this timeline still exists. There is also a possibility that the transporter was hinted with Alice and Clover’s conversation, but not sure if that was the alternative or not.

About ?’s identity, I think my favourite take is the player. Because the player is an irregular identity in the game. To get the Another Time, the player has to achieve certain goals, such as collecting the golden files. The player can play with timelines as much as they want since they can jump through the flowchart freely and they even command Sigma’s action through the game (which can explain the way sometimes he was surprised with his vote during the Nonary Game). And I believe it refers to the player coming from the true ending of ZTD, but this is merely speculation...

Since Delta could be meta commentary about the player, I also liked to think he could be involved in this, but since he can’t shift , it’s much improbable. However I like how there is a link with how the end of ZTD is Carlos pointing the gun at him, which represents a situation of danger that could trigger a shift.

Other than this, I think I haven’t thought much about it. I may have read some theories some time ago, but I don’t remember them now...

5n. Do you have any fanart/fanfic/fangame recommendations?

Fanart is probably what I consume the most. I really love @/keycrash’s works, @/kisschasey’s portraits of Snake, @/caelytrix, the way @/aestheticcannibal portrays Kyle and Dio, @/i0n4 and much more artists. I always try to reblog the amazing works I find from the fandom and sorry for not listing more, nor any work in specific.

Twitter is also a very good media to find a lot of good ZE fanarts. Not all of them are tagged, but generally searching the ZeroEscape tag allows you to find very cool works, along with other tweets and memes.

Now, on fanfiction I can’t really give much recommendations because I haven’t read many. I mainly read some from Zecret Santa event. I remember enjoying the one I got about Tenmyouji and Quark because I really love their wholesome relationship. Link here

There’s also one I once started to read but didn’t finish due to lack of time, but which was VLR’s story told from Phi’s POV and I found the idea extremely interesting although I still haven’t read it. It’s pretty long too. Link here

Now for an idea which concept I feel it’s funny and interesting: I once found one that was a Nonary game in the IKEA. I actually haven’t read it but at the time I thought it was a really funny idea. Link here

I’ve only read the first recommendation, but thought I should leave the other two, as they seem interesting and funny.

Sorry for the long post and the delay in replying. I also apologize for any mistake I made. I’m a bit tired but I really wanted to finish this post.

And thank you for the asks. I really enjoyed the question about Another Time and, although I’m pretty bad at ranking things, I like discussing and going through the games’ content again.

[goose-books]

goose-books content: a maxterpost

ahahaha get it because... ha...

anyway! i’ve had this blog for two years (!!) and so it’s about time for a masterpost. this post assumes some degree of familiarity with my projects; if you’re new here, i would start with my mobile projects post here and my desktop projects page over here! you can also find my published fiction here!

this masterpost contains any and all important posts i’ve made about my WIPs - ex. character intros, worldbuilding info, or excerpts! however, my tags also contain answers to ask games, doodles, and other shitposts/informal posts i’ve made about characters or stories. i won’t link these here, as not to clutter this page, but if you want more content, i encourage you to explore the tags! i also plan to update this post periodically as i produce more content.

enjoy your stay at goose-books productions!

(post last updated 12/2/21)

misc/standalone

the beast sonnet (with commentary!) and the sequel (prequel?)

bodyghost (4-page trans-and-mental-illness-play)

duodecimal (~20k novella about a neurodivergent high school theater kid, his inconvenient crush, and his lesbian nemesis; loosely retells a subplot of twelfth night)

2020 year in review

The Mortal Realm

intro post / reintro post / page

nano announcement post with a fancy edit

bad powerpoint

character intros

aurum (boy king finding it harder and harder to maintain his disbelief in magic)

winter (plucky farm-girl-turned-heroine ready to outsmile the childhood trauma)

viridi (mysterious fellow from the woods. physically can’t lie but that doesn’t always stop him)

argentate (aurum’s late brother. let the dead rest.)

jada (bitter lesbian with a plant problem)

moon (genderfluid anarchist vigilante. also aurum’s best friend! oops.)

patch (viridi’s partner; castle court jester and local resident orphan)

rowan (viridi’s other partner; blacksmith’s apprentice and local force of chaos) (post coming soon)

lily (the author of the journals. oooooooo) (post coming soon)

excerpts/drabbles

"lies" (a short viridi excerpt)

an untitled argentate drabble

"be careful with words." (a jada & viridi drabble)

prompttober 2018

nanowrimo 2018 excerpts

"foolish" (a short story about patch gosling)

"the valley" (a short story that is literally just unrestrained summer fun)

and finally... aurum & argentate have a canonical plot-relevant birth date. so i celebrate it. every year

QUARK

intro post / page

character intros

character roster posts (three of them!)

caelum finch (death-obsessed prophet who spent 14 years in isolation)

dawn andrews (college kid who refuses to be the chosen one)

marble lavinia robespierre (gay anarchocommunist who grew up in a magical cult)

shade jupiter joyeuse (would-be magical-cult-politician with a lot of bitter anxiety)

excerpts

worldbuilding: dimensions, new york’s secret sister city, and milkshakes

nanowrimo 2019 excerpts

A Modern Tragedy (the podcast)

intro post / page

bad powerpoint

the opening monologue

a post about the process!

character intros

rahma (scattered little wlw lovecore romeo)

avery (anxious theater kid transbian juliet)

isaac (trans emo hamlet who’s Going Through It)

indrajit (feral theater kid macbeth with some kind of complex)

bitty (mercutio on roller skates with a can of monster energy)

reuben (very tired benvolio with the world’s ugliest cat)

amanda (punky OCD lady macbeth)

hawk (a quiet horatio who’s an english professor in the making)

ginger (soft little lesbian ophelia)

and finally, a uquiz! so you can find out who you are :)

darkling

intro post / page

character roster

scenes by act: one / two / three / four / interlude / five / six / seven

excerpts

the city of dovermorry

the greenwood brothers siblings

the stayer sisters

ruby stayer & danielle caldwell

the missing mothers (and again)

rory and cressida hold hands gay rights

jasper and vee go stargazing

gracen has a gender, how about that

worldbuilding

magic in darklingverse (and a follow up)

on witches

valentine van velt is dead

(aka: holden caulfield goes to exposure therapy)

“intro” post / page

valentine fast facts

you can read THE ENTIRE BOOK RIGHT HERE FOR FREE

love, h

(aka: butch4butch hamlet)

the basics

page

godsong

(aka: lesbian aeneid x julius caesar x game of thrones)

intro post / page

spadesplot aesthetic post

[pastelgrungewrecker]

Even Morning Glories Fade

Fall upon your knees, Sing, "This is my body and soul here!”

He spoke in springbuds and sunshine petals- he wooed and cooed like the turtledoves in old terran stories; like the grinning and coy demigods of love and faith and lust and hope in all the stories Perceptor so often brushed away with the nervous insistence of a skeptic’s skeptic.

And oh, for shame! He fell in love with the sky’s scuffed colors and a crooked smile.

When Brainstorm began coughing so hoarse- a death rattle concerto done in a zephyrwhistle and the wheeze of the great northern gusts Perceptor wrapped the jet in arms too small to fit around the flier’s chest but warm all the same.

So many things, all the same- one frets, one flicks it away with a brush of servos and a shrug of wings so used to being folded it was silently feared they’d never open.

When Brainstorm gagged and choked on coiled.. masses, indiscernible at first but gaining shape and color and recognizability; Perceptor held him close to a twice broken once locked spark and rocked him from side to side- carefully thumping his curled digits against Brainstorm’s chest when the coughs would fizzle and break and go silent like the hum of glass after a lightning strike.

“PLEASE, HURRY, IT SOUNDS LIKE HES DYING!”

And oh, for shame! He was falling in love with the sky’s scuffed colors and a crooked smile.

And then Brainstorm lay on his side, with his optics dim and dull and tired and his smile waning like a forgotten mood as Perceptor let servos brush along cheekcabling that looked so like a death’s-head in the low light.

“You... You don’t believe that. N-Nonsense superstition, do you?”, laughed Brainstorm weakly, shifting slowly and wheezing a weak hack from the bottom of his respirators- the flutter of crystalline petals flickering free of him to scatter like starlight on old water.

“I was badly made, badly built- bad mechanics and blueprints all the way down, Percy. I was never meant to last, not really. Not with any kinda MEANING.”

“Don’t say that, hush.”, murmured Perceptor, soothing him or the jet he didn’t know anymore, “I don’t care about superstition or fairfolk warnings- I care about making you well, no matter what.”

“We both know there’s a flaw in my code, Percy.”

“Nonsense, it’s just a. A system glitch, Ratchet can fix it no problem.”

“Percy.”, whispered Brainstorm his words broken up by a coughing fit that leaked liquid life and glorypetals into his lap as he sat up slowly, clutching his aching chestplate, “Percy, I’m gonna die. Stories or not, processor reboot or not, I’m not gonna make it.”

“Liar.”

“I’m a lot’ve things Perce, but sadly I was always a terrible one of those.”

Perceptor sighed, leaning his helm forward to rest on Brainstorm’s shoulder, “Even.. Even suppose those old stories were true- who is it, Brainstorm? Who? If it’s not that... Pegheaded bastard, and not myself... Is it Whirl, perhaps? Cyclonus, or Tailgate? Hell, the Captain?”

Brainstorm couldn’t help that bitter winterwind laughter that tumbled out of him, the wheezing frigid winds carrying death and silence that shattered apart once again with coughs like prairie storm thunderclaps.

“Honestly, I couldn’t tell you Percy.”, whispered Brainstorm once his coughs had settled, no longer bothering to brush away the crystalline petals sprinkled over him and the mediberth where he knew he’d come to die, “I can’t think of anyone I’ve loved that I didn’t... Find closure with.”

“Is... Is it because of me? Because I took so long?”

“No- this didn’t start until well after we got together. Well, it didn’t start getting bad.”

“...Brainstorm, when DID it start?”

A beat of silence, and then so softly; so quietly Perceptor’s audials barely caught it... Brainstorm spoke.

“It started the day they sent you away. And it got worse when Quark disappeared, and when the first timecase plans failed...”

Perceptor moved up onto the mediberth to settle close to Brainstorm- to allow him to hold tight and tighter and tightest to the reinforced scope frame; to take comfort from a modified tank grade engine rumbling beneath plating that wouldn’t (or perhaps couldn’t) open again.

“It... got better, for a while- once the case worked, once I almost did something right for once...!”

The coughing rattled Brainstorm again, spitting up and out the petals and blooms that filled his steelstrut ribcage like so many funeral sprays and made him choke on words he so desperately needed yet denied.

“Oh Stormy- raincloud, stormcell you ninny and absolute fool...”

“Wh-what?”

“All this love for the Things and Thems and Thats and Thoses in the world and never spared a drop for yourself-”, whispered Perceptor, bundling the jet close to him, “All this love and glee and manic joy and you never EVER once spared a SINGLE bit for yourself!”

Brainstorm couldn’t help the broken laughter that rang from him like a funeral bell- like the hymns in dead churches sung by priests who remember only sounds and sensation and never the true honest words.

“Brainstorm- Brainstorm, how can I...”

“You can’t, Percy.”, rasped Brainstorm feeling his sparkrate rocket high and drop, “No matter how mu-ch you s-say it; no matter how many times y-you try to prove it, I-”

Perceptor felt panic rise behind his chestplate, yowling for help at the door as Brainstorm’s coughs pulled forth more than just petals, more than just thorns.

“I a-am. A scientist. And I have seen no concrete evidence to the contrary.”

“Brainst- Brainstorm PLEASE! Please, I love you, Whirl loves you, so many people care so much for you-”

A gentle hand against Perceptor’s cheek, and he shrieked for assistance again as he heard the heavy thud of pedesteps as he looked back to the jet still nestled against him and covered in slivers of vine and leaf and thorn and shimmer.

“I love you too, Perce. But I suppose we’ll have to agree to disagree.”

“Brainstorm, please, just hold on, keep your vents cycling Ratchet’s almost here- you deserve to survive, to be loved just please PLEASE listen to me-”

“I’m sorry, Percy... But- I can’t believe you.”

His coughs rattled him from top to tip- wingpanels cracking with the force of his frame tensing as he coughs and hacked and choked in a mockery of gaudiness- As morning glory pale petals rained down and glinting bluegreengrey vines seemed to reach out as though Primus had planted funeral flowers over the spot the MTO’s heart had been until it broke one day-

Never to seal back together, only ever to grind itself on its own edges into gravesoil for the glories to grow.

And oh, for shame! He had fallen in love with the sky’s scuffed colors and a crooked smile.

[randomnessunicorn-imagine]

☀️ STAR TREK DEEP SPACE 9: FANFICTION ☀️

This is the second chapter of the Long Fiction I'm writing of DS9.

Hope you can enjoy this chapter too.

Support me with likes and reblogs, please! Especially if you want to read more about it.

📜 DS9 FANFICTION: ODO X FEM! READER X QUARK 📜

FIRST CHAPTER : Swapped out ~

SECOND CHAPTER: Identity Issues ~

There was no scientific explanation to this mysterious phenomenon, since anything like this had happened before. Even the brilliant doctor Bashir was confused but also incredulous because this was an interesting case to study.

"It looks like you two had swapped your bodies." the doctor said, smiling and joking, because he found it all very funny, it was absurd but very ironic.

"We’ve understood it by ourselves, doctor. What can we do to get back into our bodies? Do you have a solution?" Quark said, annoyed and he didn't find this situation hilarious and he wouldn't laugh. Indeed, he was walking across the infirmary in a frenetic manner, his behavior was annoying you, even if he was you now, but you got nervous anyway.

It was as if you were looking at some parallel world through a mirror. Perhaps in an alternative dimension you were a Ferengi. You were Quark. This thought made you more anxious than before.

Then you looked at Julian with a worried expression but your tone of voice was low, you wanted to appear calm and diligent as always despite the difficult situation. You didn't want to lose your mind.

"Isn't there a scientific explanation for this?" you asked looking in Julian's eyes, with a sort of devotion as if he was your last hope. Maybe he actually was.

"Not for now. It could be a sort of split between space and time, it may have happened. Or maybe a split of existences. There are millions of timelines, millions of ourselves, so maybe there could have been a sort of break down, a sort of explosion that caused this. But for now we can't be sure." Julian explained in a professional tone and you took a deep breath. You trusted him, you knew he was the greatest doctor alive and he would be able to solve the problem.

For now, you had to get used to be a Ferengi, and Quark should have gotten used to be a human, maybe it would have been more difficult for him than for you since Quark didn’t have a good opinion of human beings.

"And what do we do in the meantime? My bar! What will happen to my bar? I can't leave it to that idiot of Rom." Quark said hysterically as if his problems were not enough, he had to explain this little situation to his brother and you had to explain it to your friends, too. Life was never easy for a Starfleet Officer. Life was never easy for anybody.

"I don't think you can work like this. As long as the problem is not solved, I grant you some break from your work. Use this time to learn more about yourself and make new experiences with your new bodies." Julian said with sarcasm, it was his way to lighten the mood.

"What are you talking about, Doctor? You're crazy. People are all crazy in this station!" Quark screamed.

"It could get worse, you could end up into a Klingon's body or who knows who." Julian said.

"Come on, everything will be solved. And then it's not bad to be me. Your brother Rom will take care of the bar." Maybe this was what scared Quark the most.

Speak of the Devil, Rom appeared, running in the sickbay and hopping like a ping-pong ball.

"Brother, what happened to you? Are you sick? Are you going to die?" asked Rom to the person who looked like his brother, namely you.

"No, stupid idiot. But I'll kill you if you don't stop telling nonsense." said Quark and Rom didn't understand why you were talking to him like that. Like his brother Quark. Then Rom realized the truth before anyone could explain the circumstances to him. Because he was smarter than he seemed. Alternatively, he was just a boy with a vivid imagination.

"Oh, no! Quark, what happened to you? You've changed. Oh, my god!" he paused and then looked at you, namely Quark, and then again at Quark, "You two have swapped yourselves. And now you are trapped in each other's bodies. Oh golly!" Rom seemed scared and then you and Quark looked at each other, incredulous.

"Yes, it’s like that, Rom. It happened suddenly. We don't know how or for how long this situation will last. We only know that it’s absurd and very discouraging." You said, sighing.

“Yes, so don’t make things worse, Rom!” said Quark, snorting.

"It could get worse. You could become a Klingon. Or you could die." Rom said to his brother, giggling in his usual naive and tender way.

"Yes, of course. The worst thing is that while we're here talking, there are customers out there waiting to be served. Who's serving them, Rom? Who? You surely are not and not even I. I go anyway, I’m already too stressed to listen to you idiots any longer. I can take care of my bar by myself, because my brain is still Ferengi’s!”  Quark said, determined not to leave his precious bar unattended, you hoped he would not cause trouble with your body. You couldn't leave him alone, so you decided to follow him.

With his new body, Quark ran like the wind and it was hard for you to catch up to him.

Quark intended to work and did not want to leave his business, perhaps this was the biggest trauma for the Ferengi man: to abandon the profit for an indefinite time. This was a nightmare. You could understand him because for you it was a catastrophe to leave your job like this, and this could not be considered as a vacation.

You walked briskly, ignoring the confused looks of the people, maybe they were clients of Quark who wondered why he hadn't greeted them but you didn't care about it now.

You finally came to the bar and was taken by surprise the instant you saw Quark talking to Odo. At least, the poor Odo believed he was talking to you.

"What are you doing behind Quark's counter, Lieutenant Y/N?" Odo asked suspiciously.

"But this is my bar - Ah, nothing at all, security officer." Quark said and he seemed nervous.

"It doesn't look like you're doing anything. It's unusual. Shouldn't you be on the bridge by now?" Odo asked.

Odo knew all your schedules, you and he were great friends, so he understood before anyone else if something was wrong with you, even thanks to his infallible police intuition and skills.

"The doctor gave some break time." Quark was sweating and he avoided looking into Odo's eyes.

"She’s helping me, don’t you know, Odo? Lieutenant Y/N is doing an apprenticeship. She has realized that the career in the Starfleet doesn’t give profit; you risk to die every single day and for what? To become a hero? To die with honour like a crazy Klingon? Then you can’t even enjoy the glory of the victory that you’re already underground. Such a nonsense!” you just said the first thing that crossed your mind and you felt like an idiot because you weren't able to Imitate Quark but you tried, you were not sure if Odo had believed in this farce.

"Oh, look who's here. I don't think Lieutenant Y/N is interested in profit and I hope she hasn’t put herself into some filthy business with this filthy Ferengi." Odo said, looking at the person who looked like his friend Y/N. You had to explain the truth to Odo but you didn't know how. You didn't want to hide it from him, you didn't want to lie to him again.

It was all so complicated and you didn't know how to start the conversation until someone did it for you.

"Brother, are you here? You ran away like crazy." and Rom came again, the sweet and naive Ferengi appeared from nowhere, ready to reveal the truth.

Odo was still there enjoying the scene and his eyes became incredulous when he saw that Rom started talking with you, Lieutenant Y/N, and not with the one who looked like his brother.

Odo turned to Rom who seemed worried about you, "You shouldn't work. The doctor said you have to rest yourself and wait for him to find a cure.”

"A cure for what?" Odo asked and you started to cold sweat because you were supposed to explain to him the story since you were his friend but maybe it was not important anymore.

"Don't you know, Odo? Quark and Lieutenant Y/N swapped their bodies. Or did their minds move? But the doctor is looking for a solution and I'm sure he'll find it because he's a good doctor." Rom started talking until his brother stopped him. "Enough Rom. We get it! There’s no need for you to be so invading! Look, they haven't heard you on Bajor, shout it louder!" said Quark, annoyed and tired.

From his way of speaking, Odo could understand that the person behind the counter was not you, because you would never have used such gross language and you would never have shouted at anyone.

"Yes, Rom is right. It is a mystery and we don't know how it happened." You said, looking down while Odo was watching you and he realized that even though you resembled the Ferengi that he hated, you were always you.

"Well. It is a hard story to believe but you two are certainly not behaving normally. No, there is nothing normal about you." Odo answered, still trying to figure out this situation.

"Yes, I know." you didn't know what to say and sighed hoping Odo was not mad at you.

“So haven’t you decided to leave the Starfleet and start a new career as barmaid, um?" asked Odo, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No, of course not. I had no idea how to explain the situation to you, I didn't want to hide it and I wanted to find the right moment and words. I just said the first nonsense that had crossed my mind." You felt guilty even though there was no reason to be and Odo didn't seem angry.

"Well, I don't know what I would have done if I had found myself in Quark's body. I think you're suffering enough." Odo smiled, the way he always did when he made fun of Quark.

"And me, don’t anybody think of me? I'm traumatized, too." said Quark.

“Ah, you’ll survive, Quark. You always do!” Odo answered, chuckling.

You were glad that Odo had understood, you knew how much he cared of the truth, and you didn't want to hide anything to him because you cared a lot about him. For you, he was not only a friend but something more. He was special to you, you didn't want to disappoint him and his opinion was the most important to you.

Ironic that among all the people, you found yourseld in Quark’s body, Odo's rival. His sworn “frienemy”. It was an absurd and hilarious fact.

Perhaps the doctor was right. Thanks to this bizarre experience, you would have discovered something more about yourself and your friends.

[ To be continued...]

[scientific-tricorder]

[Image description: The first picture shows Quark leaning over and saying something to Benjamin Sisko, who looks tired and exasperated. Sisko is labelled 'TNG fans' and Quark is labelled 'me talking about how DS9 dismantles the federation's socialist utopia by exposing its colonialist tendencies and neoliberal obsession with status quo.

The second picture shows Data and Julian Bashir walking down a hallway. Bashir is labelled 'me talking about how DS9 showcases how we do not live in a utopia and never will and real problems always need to be confronted and solved' and Data is labelled 'me talking about how TNG is aspirational in showing a world where inequality and bigotry have been overcome and how we can make the world better through compassion and cooperation'.]