#timmie in the rain in that fit are you joking

[box5intern]

As someone who maintains that Luciana thought Erik was going to look like Timothée Chalamet, who treasures Luciana and has two AUs where she prospers in the works, as someone who BELIEVES in the potential they had, upon seeing this image I--

[pallasperilous]

Boneless Wings

 {AO3 version}

So, blah blah blah, it’s their standard-issue disaster: pack of dumbass witches (always with the dumbass witches. Where do they find the time for this shit? Somebody get these women signed up for a Peloton subscription or a macramé class or a vibrator of the month club, seriously, whatever it takes—), ancient curse, Castiel being the actual angel of stepping in it, nobody cares. 

The point is, two hundred and forty-one hours of binge-worthy drama later, Dean and Cas are living in a semi-detached just a short thirty-minute commute to somewhere equally lame, Castiel has two literal-ass wings, and yes, Susan, they kiss now. 

The neighbors are weirdly cool with it. 

For those of you perving along at home, Dean could absolutely provide a list of the hundred or so ways that having a boyfriend* with giant fucking actual wings is super hot and/or awesome.

This is not that list.

(*you can just shut right the fuck up , Sam, because it’s either this or Dean will start saying lover. And nobody needs that. Nobody wants that.)

1.  Bird mites. Holy shit. 

 2.  Sharing a bathroom. The shower curtain rod, and consequently the security deposit, are early casualties. The medicine cabinet follows swiftly behind. Shower hijinks are not even an option.

 3.  Dean comes home one day from a gig and there is a giant plastic green turtle in the backyard. A closer inspection reveals that the turtle is actually a mule for about half a truck bed of industrial dust ‘n grit. It is, in fact, a kiddie sandbox. Dean points out that they do not, in fact, have a small child (FINGERS CROSSED), so...?

Cas then earnestly shows him an entire playlist of exotic birdy dust bath videos on Youtube. 

Dean then earnestly shows him the garden hose. 

4.  The down just gets, like...everywhere. EVERYWHERE. How many times have Sam and Dean practically sold their kidneys for a single angel feather for some dumb spell to solve some pointless Occult McProblem? And now Dean is picking them out of his damn teeth every morning. (No, gross, not because of... Jesus, no, that is not a thing.)

On the upside of this one, Dean finally has an excuse to buy a Dyson, which he’s secretly always thought looked awesome. It is. 

 5.  When Dean is scraping out the umpteenth canister of fluff he jokingly suggests they use some of it to supplement the tragically flaccid down comforter currently shaming their bed, and Castiel pitches an existential fucking sulk. Dean wants to experience happiness again, so he does not point out that it get ass-bitingly cold here this time of year, and decent bedding is not exactly inexpensive, and the Dyson kind of maxed them out on household purchases.

But whatever.

 6.  Castiel is indulging in what Dean thinks of as a sky pout when he flies right into a head-on with li’l Timmy NextDoor’s new Christmas surveillance drone. It dings the shit out of one of Cas’s left primary feathers (the scientific term is “those big motherfuckers”), which apparently hurts like a bitch. Cas is grounded for a few weeks after that and is cutely pathetic about it and at first Dean is absolutely down to kiss it better. By the end, Dean is almost ready to strangle Cas with his own necktie, but he has learned a lot of surprisingly interesting stuff about ancient Mesopotamia, like that it was super horny.

 7.  After the snow melts, Dean starts finding shit on the front step with the morning paper. It’s not even a good newspaper; Cas signed them up for the local fish-wrapper (or maybe it was Sam, before he fled for the hills— he occasionally breaks out in a  “support local journalism” rash). The crossword puzzle is insulting, but the paper does at least syndicate Carolyn Hax, whom Dean secretly suspects of being an absolute wildcat in the sack, so he grudgingly expends the calories to bring it in every morning. 

Anyway, at first the stuff he discovers crapping up the welcome mat is just shiny bits of trash — couple granola wrappers, some MGD pull-tabs, a few field-stripped twisty-ties. Probably just windblown, and he tosses it in the garbage can. 

Then a couple weeks in, things start getting...grisly? It escalates real slowly, from a variety platter of mouse bits to squirrel à la power line and then half of a dry-aged raccoon and an opossum that has recently graduated from playing dead to professional dead-being. The neighborhood crows obviously love that their front step is now a roadkill café; Dean has to bat increasing numbers of them away with the kitchen broom in order to relocate their horrible snack to the edge of the nearest storm drain.

Then one morning there are like twenty crows and they’re in just the cutest little football huddle-up around what turns out to be a human fucking finger with a retro-fun mood ring still on the knuckle (it’s feeling: Sad) and Dean fully loses his shit. 

Cas hears him freaking out and comes whomping out of the garage ready to, whatever, flap somebody to death maybe, but as soon as he establishes that Dean doesn’t need anything more than a fresh pair of boxers, he de-poofs a bit and assesses the whole human finger/crows situation in his usual infuriatingly unrushed way. The crows had mostly bounced up to the cable line over the house, safely out of brooming range, but one by one they start to drop down and hippity-hop back towards the world’s tiniest crime scene.

If Dean were five percent less freaked he’d be tempted to go inside and find out how much of a dent he can make in a six-pack before Castiel finally dings and spits out his results, but he isn’t, so he just stands there in silence clutching the broom like it’s a shotgun.

Eventually Cas says “hm,” and then he looks at the crows and makes some noises that sound like a spoon caught in a garbage disposal, and the crows make some scrawps and chuks back, and then one of them delicately noodges the tip of dead finger with its beak and then hippity hops back a foot or two, bows, and then they all fly away over the shitty little beige duplex across the street like they’re running ten minutes late to an important bird appointment.

Castiel stands up (Dean reflexively backs up into the doorway, as this involves Cas bomfing out his wings a bit for ballast and Dean has caught a blow to the nuts on more than one occasion), dusts off his goddamn slacks, pulls a plastic evidence baggie out of thin goddamn air or maybe his socks, and casually bags the finger like they’re doing a standard FBI wheeze. “So what,” Dean says, as Cas diligently zips the baggie, “the fuck?”

“Oh,” Cas says, blinking in surprise that Dean is still there and interested, “they think I’m their god.”

Dean kind of stares back at him, the six feet of dude and like sixteen feet of bird, and thinks sure, okay, but his face must still be stuck on “Tippi Hedren attic scene” because Cas puts a reassuring hand on Dean’s shoulder and adds “Don’t worry. I’ve told them I don’t require further offerings, and I reassured them that you’re my consort and were simply jealous of other potential mates.”

It takes Dean two weeks to come up with a response to that, but by then it’s become evident that no bird is ever going to shit on the Impala again, so he decides to just chalk it up in the win column and move on.

You know. The family business.

8.  No matter how tightly he folds them, Cas can’t fit his wings through the definitely-not-up-to-code doorway of the wood-paneled family rec room in the basement, so Dean claims it as his man cave and dubs it the “No Fly Zone.” 

Castiel doesn’t find this funny, but Dean really only uses it to fold laundry. 

 9.  Transpo is an obvious issue. Cas can almost stuff himself into the Impala if he sort of reverse-cowgirls the back seat, but then the wingtips smoosh up against the windshield and Dean’s visibility is approximately zip. And, sure, Cas could fly himself anywhere they really needed to go, he’s basically a Chevy Of The Air, but sometimes it’s raining, and the seraph Castiel — Shield of God, Heavenly Soldier of the Lord, multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent, will smell like a wet fucking chicken for days afterward. Febreze does not help.

Dean spends a few nauseating weeks contemplating the purchase of — and here he learns that the human gag reflex can be conditioned, but never truly eradicated — a convertible. Once Cas brings up the possibility of a minivan or perhaps a station wagon (he’s taken to studying family motor vehicles with all the intensity of a birder with a life list) and Dean makes him sleep on the couch.

Dean gets his own living room rotation after he shows Cas a Craigslist posting for a very reasonably priced horse trailer. Castiel points out that it’s used and Dean notes that neither of them is exactly mint in original packaging either. Castiel points out that he’s not a horse, and after a few necessary but admittedly unoriginal jokes, Dean pulls up a website with an exhaustive photographic tutorial on how to convert a horse trailer “for the safe and sanitary transport of ostriches, emus, and/or cassowaries.” Cas points out that he’s not an ostrich, emu, and/or cassowary, and Dean counters that he clearly isn’t, because an emu would probably show a little more gratitude, and that’s how Dean learns that the couch has a broken spring under the left cushion. The transpo issue remains unresolved.

 10.  Dean keeps a pair of shop-grade safety goggles by his side of the bed. It’s not the sexiest look, but it turns out feathers are stabby as hell when encountered at a particular angle. Cas can do the healy thing, of course, but they learn the hard way that cornea perforation is not really a mood enhancer. On the bright side, Castiel accidentally corrects Dean’s incipient presbyopia, which means Dean doesn’t have to hold the newspaper at arm’s length anymore when he’s idly speculating what Carolyn Hax looks like below the neck. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

 11.  You’d think that, when you’re coming down from a time-limited but incurable curse that makes you feel like every cell of your body has its own cute little individual headcold — because you missed a hex bag due to the fact that you were preparing your legal response to Sam turning up to the hunt wearing a goddamn hair scrunchy, as if he were fresh off the set of a very special episode of Clarissa Explains It All — anyway, you’d think that being wrapped in the warm embrace of an angel’s wings would be nice. 

But you would be wrong, because apparently your boyfriend has been out communing with the bees again, and those feathers pick up ragweed pollen like it’s their goddamn job, and guess what else angels can’t cure? Dean will take Motherfucking Seasonal Allergies for 600, Alex. 

12a.  One of the neighbors has that homesteading hippie brain disease that drives an otherwise normal-seeming person to brew their own beer and raise a bunch of chickens despite living within five hundred yards of a fully functioning Hy-Vee. There’s a week where one of the wee little velociraptors seems to be processing some kind of trauma because it starts yelling at dawn and keeps going until well past the hour that swearing is allowed on network TV. 

When Dean finally hammers on the front door the next afternoon the neighbor apologizes with some extremely nasty home-brew (HIPPIES) and some absolutely devastating weed (HIPPIES!) and explains that “Ginger is going through a rough molt” and then he kind of nods his head towards Dean’s side of the fence where Cas is futzing around in the squash plants and stage whispers (this is a direct quote) “You know how they get.”

Dean is about to rip the dude a new one for comparing his immortal space-kaiju lover to a fucking Australorp yard pullet when Castiel pops his head up over the white pickets and breezily contributes “Bad molt, yes, those are terrible, Dean can tell you all about how insufferable I am those weeks,” and sometimes Dean just doesn’t know why he even tries.

 12b.  The less said about angel molt, the better. 

Seriously, the freakin’ eyes-on-his-hands naked mole rat dude from, whatsit, Pan’s Labyrinth of Subtitles, would run screaming from this shit. 

 13.  There’s a 4th of July BBQ Potluck Block Party and Dean’s inability to stand idly by while good meat is abused ( shut up Sam ) means he winds up manning the grill and dismissing the pretenders to set some strictly inedible things on fire. Cas hangs out next to him and uses his flappers to kinda whupf the smoke away from Dean’s eyes now and then, which rules. It’s actually a pretty chill event until Sharon and Don From Number 4267, The Green House With The White Trim, turn up with a giant Pyrex full of naked, still-marinating teriyaki wings. 

Sharon And Don look down at their wings and then up at Castiel and then down at the wings and then up at Castiel and they are clearly teetering on the edge of a Midwestern politeness failure-based nervous breakdown. But then Cas, smooth as a margarine commercial, gently takes the dish from Sharon’s frozen hands, examines the contents for a silent moment, and says “it’s alright. They weren’t personal friends.”

He gets an extra burger for that one.

 14.  Cas keeps absent-mindedly trying to groom Dean — who, in case it still needs to be said at this point, possesses zero-point-zero feathers of his own — so he goes after Dean’s hair, instead. Dean has to stop him after his second hour of trying to straighten out a cowlick. “I don’t understand how you can steer properly with this deformity,” Cas says, as if it’s a genuine miracle that Dean isn’t constantly careening over ottomans like Dick Van Dyke. He’s even more horrified by Dean’s (frankly minimal) use of hair gel. “Jesus, Cas, it’s not like I’m drinking it,” he says, but then one time they have an epic make-out session shortly after Dean performs his masculine beauty rituals and there’s some smearage of various types of Product (tm) on the flappy areas. 

And, sonuvabitch, for the next six hours Cas is spirographing around the house like he has a heavenly inner ear infection, and he only stops veering into the doorframes after Dean wipes down every. Single. Feather. With mineral oil and about eighteen clean shop cloths. Dean switches to something called hair wax, which costs thirty zillion times more per ounce and makes him smell vaguely like church, but is a lot less gloppy. The things we do for love.

 15.  Seating inside the house is a bit of a conundrum, too. Cas can kind of flop his wings out to the sides if he sits in the middle of the couch, but then Dean’s stuck on the recliner, which is basically in the next county. Bar stools are disastrously tippy, Dean’s lower back and hips have not endured mumble-mumble years of hunting just to be subjected to a damn beanbag chair, and, after a brief flurry of optimistic excitement, Dean determines that they’d have to take the front door off to get a massage chair in. He finds a swing online that if, he can get the hardware properly installed in the crossbeam, is rated for up to 500 pounds, so he texts Cas the URL so he can check out the specs. After half an hour he writes back —

CASTIEL: Dean

CASTIEL: I believe this swing is intended for sexual congress.

DEAN: ...

CASTIEL: I can infer from the ellipsis that you have spent several minutes attempting to draft a response.

DEAN: ...

CASTIEL: Dean

DEAN: it’s multipurpose

  16 . On the plus side, though, big-ass wings make for a pretty good drying rack. He can get every sock in the house laid out on those suckers in a single round and, one episode of Dr. Sexy later, they’re perfectly dry and toasty warm, without any of the pair-busting casualties Dean has learned to expect from the apparently socknivorous dryer in the basement. 

Dean assumes it’s just the product of good air circulation and body heat until he realizes that he hasn’t had to toss a pair for being too worn out in...maybe six months? So he asks Cas “Are your wings... healing the socks” and after an entire Abbott and Costello routine centering around heal versus heel, Dean determines that the answer is: yes, his boyfriend’s wings are channeling the almighty power of Heaven to magically repair the socks Dean buys at Target in twelve-pack bags. On sale.

This is actually kind of sexy, if Dean is being perfectly honest, so, you know what? It doesn’t belong on this list.

 16.  So nobody really freaks out or bursts into tears or calls the news or the FBI or anything when Cas goes out in public with him, which Dean is secretly a little disappointed about, because come on. (Maybe giant wings just reads as a gay thing? Was there an episode of Will and Grace about this that Dean missed back when he was ass deep in wendigos or something?)

But no. Dudes tend to just glance at them across the Home Depot parking lot, throw them the Mutual Dude Acknowledgement Nod, and say some shit like “Comic-con,” or “nice anime” in a knowing tone. Then they go back to rolling their carts full of gaskets or hammers or whatever back to their mom’s station wagon. 

Little girls tend to go googly-eyed — Castiel seems to fall into the same category as a Disney princess, despite the stubble and the drabcore wardrobe, and Dean can’t count the number of times some mom has approached Dean at the grocery store (like he’s Castiel’s manager?? Which, okay...yeah, actually) and asked if they do birthday parties. The money would actually be pretty tempting if Dean weren’t five thousand percent sure that Cas would get them both arrested by launching into an anatomy lesson about duck sex or how God is a loser who favors relaxed fit jeans and Wild Turkey.

The worst is white ladies of a Certain Age, and it always seems to happen in the pudding aisle, for some reason. They either go cross-eyed with horniness and become indiscriminately handsy (Dean can’t blame them for the impulse, but also back off, Karen), or ask Cas for prayers for their cat’s chronic asshole problems (which Castiel WILL take seriously). 

Worst of all is when some hippie spinster clocks them. This woman inevitably reaches right for the feathers and asks in a willowy voice if they’d ever consider turning some of them into dreamcatchers to sell at her studio, which is literally always named The Faerie’s Glen. Then Cas gets confused about why, exactly, a sixty year-old WASP in a peasant skirt would need to call on the infant-protection powers of an Ojibwe spider goddess, while Dean just wants to bite the lady’s fingers off. 

Either way, it’s always a bad scene, and many fully loaded grocery carts have been lost to the fallout.

17.  For some metaphysical reason Dean is too dumb to suss out but also too smart to question, lugging a pair of Cessna-sized flappers around this mortal dimension actually seems to tucker Cas out. He doesn’t need to zonk out every night, but he semi-regularly throws in the towel and actually crawls in with Dean for the duration. 

This would be swell in theory, but the guy absolutely cannot settle the fuck down in less than three (3) human hours, which is the exact amount of sleep Dean requires to maintain his famously sunny demeanor. It’s not just ye olde tossing and turning — Dean can handle that, sharing a bed with Sam is like sleeping next to a kangaroo with restless leg syndrome — no, it’s a nonstop parade of little flippy-flappies and shiffle-shuffles and spontaneous outbursts of preening. 

So Dean makes him a Baby Sleep Sack. 

This is something Dean knows about due solely to one super dumb hunt involving a banishing sigil that had to be drawn in — he still feels like this had to be a misprint — human breastmilk, and that was obviously not happening. But the monster of the week wasn’t going to banish itself, so they wound up at the nearest Walmart, at 4am, picking up what turned about to be an unnecessarily generous supply of baby formula, along with a fresh box of shotgun shells because God bless America*. It doesn’t work, although “lots of stabbing” turns out to be a solid fallback plan, but the point is that while Sam was debating between Digestion Support or Neurological Development, Dean acquired an unprecedented familiarity with some of the products currently available to the sleep-deprived parent. So Dean finds some DIY Baby Sleep Sack knockoff patterns online and determines he can replicate and scale up the concept with some beach towels and duct tape, and the next morning he presents the lumpy but totally functional prototype to Castiel. 

Initially Cas thinks it’s a sex thing (reasonable, it probably is), but once they clear up that misunderstanding, he’s obviously a little peeved by the concept of being swaddled as if he were a gassy baby instead of a deathless sky monster in a sexy dude-shaped can. But Dean must be giving off some serious man on the edge vibes because Cas grudgingly agrees to let Dean tape him up the next time he’s feeling dozy. 

It’s real awkward and takes forever to get Cas bundled up right, and then he’s just kind of lying there on top of the sheets, like an enormous, grumpy baked potato. 

“I could easily break out of these restraints,” he says in a pissy tone after Dean has crawled in and turned off the light, and Dean rolls over to tell him “no shit”, but then he has to stop himself because the guy is already asleep.

Eventually they upgrade to a version made out of some of those trendy weighted blanket things, a few yards of parachute silk, and a whole lot of velcro. The dude looks so damn peaceful that Dean is honestly a little jealous.

*he doesn’t, actually. 

 18.  There’s a sunny afternoon that isn’t the usual Kansas is trying to murder you level of humid so Dean rolls the Impala out into the street for a wash. Cas helps him out a bit initially, although tragically not in a way that involves removing any unnecessary articles of clothing, but Deans sends him to grab a new tub of wax from the shed and he never comes back. After half an hour Dean needs a beer break and goes looking for him, expecting to find Cas lost in thought over whether Turtle Wax is made of actual turtles, or is made to put on actual turtles. Instead he finds Cas crouched on the shimmering pavement at the back of the driveway, sun beating down on him like it has a personal vendetta, and he’s got both wings stretched out real low above the ground. Dean kind of flips out because it’s the type of pose that just screams “stabbed in gut by angel blade” or “migraine from Hell, literally.”

Then Cas looks up, which pulls his wings up a smidge too, which in turn reveals that fully half a dozen neighborhood cats are lounging in the shady patch beneath his wings, spread out on the concrete like blobs of furry peanut butter. No, it’s actually eight cats. There are eight cats.

“Ling-Ling was feeling a little overheated,” Cas says, as if this explains everything. 

And, you know what, at this point, it does.

 19.  Dean has faith that eventually Sam or Cas or the third demon from the left in the second row will turn up a solution for the whole business. Castiel will get to tuck those bad boys back into the secret wing-closet dimension and he won’t have to worry about getting stuck in stairwells anymore, or being reported to the FAA (again). Then they can finally pack up the house, plaster over the more egregious spots of drywall damage, and go back to killing things outside of the tri-county area. The whole thing has been a pretty embarrassing interlude for a couple of dudes who’ve kicked Satan’s ass multiple times — Sam is probably telling other hunters that they’ve been deep undercover to take out a nest of suburban vampires, or a pack of ghouls with mortgages, instead of vacuuming angel down out of the AC unit and considering a Costco membership. 

And sure, there have been some...serious pluses to the situation (see: the other list), but, in his weaker moments, Dean has to admit that he’s kind of going to miss some of the goofy, irritating shit, too — like finding a six-inch feather in the veggie crisper (how? why?), or watching Cas fwap his wings out just in time to accidentally clothesline a jogger, or even the strangely compelling, sorta cheesy smell that starts to float around the house if Cas goes a little too long between hosedowns. 

He has actually grown fond of this shit. Which is 100% the least sexy thing on earth, it’s some genuinely, seriously pathetic goo goo crap, and that’s why nobody will ever hear a fucking word about it. People will ask “so what’s it like, with the wings” and Dean will waggle his eyebrows suggestively and review the highlight reel over an inadvisable amount of rail whiskey. His secret’s safe with, well. Him.

 20.  Seriously though, the bird mites. 

Gross.

[abirdonalilactree]

First gay ship I watched that actually became canon. (kinda toxic tho-)

Y'all remember the first time you saw your gay ship become canon? I suppose for many of you it was Supernatural. 

For me it was back in 2013 when the series finale of Rules of Engagement came out, which is pretty early if you are talking about gay stuff. Not only did we get a slowburn spanning over several seasons, it also ended in a gay wedding.

In this essay I will talk about why this ship is so important to me and why it also was toxic as feck.

The show is about two couples and their single friend, all at different stages in their relationships, deal with the complications of dating, commitment, and marriage. From season three on, there kinda is a slow burn until season seven ends with the two unmarried couples getting married as well.

What started as a horrible boss messing with his assistant turned into a surprising love story.

 I'm not sure why I came back to this series after so many years in the first place. Some of the jokes are quite offensive so here is a warning for that. But on the other hand, all episodes are up on YouTube for free soo… Right now, in the September of 2021 we have exactly 20 fics on Ao3 by amazing authors. We are a really small fandom. The show ended in 2013 but like three or four people are still here.

Let me introduce the main characters:

The married couple consists of Jeff and Audrey Bingham. Jeff has been a financial manager and husband of Audrey since 1995. He has a rather deadpan, cold and sardonic personality and sense of self, particularly when dealing with Russell and Adam, but he is not sadistic or unkind, thereby rendering these traits as merely ironic and biting humor. He loves sports, shuns anything that might resemble sensitivity and often views his marriage as a competition or war, refusing to let Audrey "win" the upper hand at anything.

Audrey is an editor at Indoor Living magazine before later resigning and the assertive, modern wife of Jeff. She tolerates her husband's insensitivity because she knows he is not malicious and will do whatever it takes to make the situation right once he realizes his mistake. As a couple, they both can be very condescending and manipulative towards each other, in order to gain the upper hand, and typically don't like to concede to the other that they were wrong.

Adam Rhodes, a sensitive and well-meaning, but extremely naive and super extremely stupid, co-worker of Russell and Timmy, and Jennifer's fiancé throughout the series until they are married in the series finale. He is a neighbor of Jeff and Audrey, looks up to Jeff, and often acts on Jeff's relationship advice -This usually results in making the situation worse for himself. Jennifer Morgan is the fiancée and eventual wife of Adam, who endures his faults because of his good looks. She is very self-conscious of him, and will often try to spare him from embarrassment.

Timir "Timmy" Patel was introduced in season 3 and became a season regular from season 4-7. He first appears when Russell hires him as his assistant.  Although he is fluent in seven languages and holds an MBA, Timmy is often forced to do menial work or to solve Russell's trivial problems which often annoys Timmy. While many of Russell's schemes disgust him, Timmy will often see them through so that he can enjoy Russell's deserved penalty. 

Russell Dunbar on the other hand is wealthy, only due to his trust fund, which he uses to impress and seduce women. He is presented as a seedy and sleazy man who only cares about how many women he can get. However, it is shown that he has a softer side. His relationships within the group are seemingly conflicted, many of the group dislike his behaviour and mock him, as they do everyone else, but it seems that he expresses just as much distaste for them as he does not choose to invite them places unless he needs them to. Through Timmy, he is analysed by a psychiatrist to have sociopathic tendencies which explains his destructive behaviour.

He is also self absorbed and immature.

...But the thing is sometimes he isn’t.

While all three relationships show a lot of signs of toxicity, Timmy and Russell’s relationship is certainly the most destructive one. Which is mostly Russell’s fault.

But let me show you.

From a psychological point of view, their relationship ticks most of the boxes of a toxic relationship.

Toxic communication

Instead of treating each other with kindness, most of their conversations are filled with sarcasm, criticism, or overt hostility. Yet sometimes kindness is in fact seeking through.

Jealousy

There is so, so much jealousy going on. Russell really does everything to not allow Timmy to get together with a woman. Although only as the show goes on, it becomes clear that Russell is jealous because he has fallen for Timmy.

Controlling behaviors

Russell is questioning where Timmy is all the time or becoming overly upset when he doesn’t immediately answer texts are both signs of controlling behavior, which can contribute to toxicity in a relationship. And it gets so much worse than that. But more to that later.

Resentment

Yes.

Dishonesty

Yes. ALL the time.

Patterns of disrespect

Being chronically late, casually “forgetting” events, and other behaviors that show disrespect for each other's time are a red flag. This makes it red flag number six. 

Constant stress

A normal amount of tension runs through every relationship, but finding oneself constantly on edge is an indicator that something’s off. Yet another red flag.

This ongoing stress can take a toll on the physical and emotional health of a person. Which is one hundred percent happening.

Ignoring needs

Going along with whatever one partner wants to do, even when it goes against the wishes or comfort level of the other one. From his first episode in the show on, Timmy is forced to do absurd stuff he doesn’t want to do and honestly no one should do for their boss.

Lost relationships

Stopping to spend time with friends and family, either to avoid conflict with a partner or to get around having to explain what’s happening in the relationship.

Hoping for change

One might stay in a relationship because they see the other person’s potential or think that if they just change themselves and their actions, their partner will change as well. And it’s the little moments when Russell shows for only moments the tiniest bit of being a good person that make Timmy stay with him.

Walking on eggshells

One worries that by bringing up problems, they’ll provoke extreme tension, so they become conflict avoidant and keep any issues to themselves.

Lack of support however is arguably not always one of their problems. But we’ll come back to that.

And still, they share their sweet moments.

The following clip, made by CBS itself shows really well how it is for them to work with each other.

https://youtu.be/GfPI3HgMYoI

And then there is character development. Here the group of friends talks about Jeff lying to his wife about another friends bachelor party because he doesn’t want to spend time with her aunt.

https://youtu.be/LQPIFcrBltQ

Russell doesn't want to get married, clearly. This clip also conveys pretty well how horrible those people are. 

There is this tension and the gay jokes. This clip also shows really well how manipulative Russell -tries- to be.

https://youtu.be/XkdycXzX4ag

And then there are moments like these: In season 6 Timmy wanted to impress a woman who only wants to date singers so Russell teaches him how to play the guitar with the ulterior motive of Timmy embarrassing himself in front of the whole company. This idea backfires when Russell realises that he can’t watch Timmy suffer like that and he joins on stage and they start this duet that’s like super gay.

https://youtu.be/UH3P_LfBBQo

To be with you by Mr Big is an interesting choice of song. -Not only because it’s quite romantic but also because the lyrics seem to be surprisingly fitting at second glance.

Let’s analyze it because Music is an important aspect.

“One of the great unrequited love songs, "To Be With You" has a true story behind it. Mr. Big lead singer Eric Martin wrote the song when he was still a teenager - 16 or 17 in his estimation. The girl was Patricia Reynolds, and he had it bad for her.

"We were really, really good friends," Martin said in a Songfacts interview. "I was totally enamored with this woman. She was beautiful. Smart. I mean, brains, beauty, break down the walls, made me crawl on my belly like a reptile!

I just loved this woman, but she just wanted to be my friend. She'd have tons of boyfriends, and maybe she misconstrued promiscuity for love. But I wanted to be the knight in shining armor. That's what I was, a knight in shining armor. But basically, I didn't get my feet wet. I wrote it about how I would have done anything to just be more than a friend and a confidante."”

-https://www.songfacts.com/facts/mr-big/to-be-with-you

So much to the history of the song. Do you see the parallels? Do you see them? Do you?

Anyway. When Russell joins Timmy on the stage, he starts with the lines:

Build up your confidence

So you can be on top for once

Wake up, who cares about

Little boys that talk too much

I think this has to be taken literally. Not sure how much I should go into detail here. 

This however brings us back to the point of support from our list earlier.

I've seen it all go down

The game of love was all rained out

So come on baby, come on over

Let me be the one to hold you

I'm the one who wants to be with you (I'm the one, yeah)

Deep inside I hope you feel it too (feel it too)

Waited on a line of greens and blues (waited on a line yeah)

Just to be the next to be with you

That’s kinda Gay.

There are jokes all over the seasons that Timmy and Russell are gay but it becomes most clear that Russell is in love with Timmy, in the last season, when Timmy leaves to go on vacation and Russell misses him so much that he gets a girlfriend and turns her into a copy of Timmy.

Things get worse when Timmy finds out that Russell completely lost his marbles and chipped him to always know his whereabouts. This finally makes Timmy leave the company and get a new job where he finally gets treated with respect. It is shown how they miss each other despite everything. But then Timmy loses his work Visa which turns out to be completely Russell’s fault.

Right after Jenn and Adam marry in the last episode, Russell proposes to Timmy so he can stay in America but it becomes clear that there is more than his conscience that made him do this.

Russell turning his girlfriend into Timmy. (There is no heterosexual explanation for this):

https://youtu.be/sX1xTybc6vI

Timmy finding out how much Russell really stalks him. (like. he is totally in love with him):

https://youtu.be/jPWKdwpXCLU

Their Wedding (seems pretty gay to me):

https://youtu.be/Ymp-zaTmnD8

 You need to see the whole show as it is. A bunch of horrible people that are made fun of.

Furthermore you could argue that they don’t actually kiss. But maybe marriage is even more meaningful. 

I suppose that since we get so little representation, we like to clasp onto everything we can get. Because when I watched this I was too young to understand how offensive the shit they talk about really is. But after all it meant a lot to my gay little heart.

So many years later I gotta say that it needs to be said that it’s a toxic relationship after all. Don’t try it at home. Don’t try it with your boss or assisstant.

In the end it’s a green card marriage. But there is this whole arch of Russell falling in love with Timmy. Most clearly in the last three episodes but also starting a lot earlier. It’s a slow burn after all. It’s never said out loud but we got two bisexual characters right there.

Now I’m asking around my friends what their first gay ship was that became canon. The results really show that we don’t get enough representation in series. Just wow.

Hannigram became canon. kinda. They jumped off a cliff together instead of kissing. That one dude from supernatural you guys keep talking about got sent to super gay hell after confessing.

What I want to say is I just wanna see a healthy gay ship become canon some day.

Thanks for reading!

...So what was your first gay ship that became canon? 

[t-o-m-hollands]

Warning: Ever so slightly smutty at two parts, but only slightly. However if that’s not you thing at all or if you are too young then do not read.

Summary: You and Timmy were once an item. After a painful breakup you meet each other again at an award show.

Here’s how it goes. For being an actress you’re awfully shy. While in front of the cameras when you’re immersed in a role you can turn it all off, all of your doubts and insecurities dissipates, and you can turn all your focus on the performance at hand and forget about all the people in the studio or the camera catching your every expression.  

Award ceremonies however are a special form of hell. The probing questions from the journalists, the flashing lights of the cameras, the noise of reporters all screaming at you to look their way. The constant watching and judging eyes, ready to tear you apart piece by piece on the internet.

It is not for you. Despite wearing a couture dress from a fashionable designer, you do not feel like you belong in this room, with these people, who all seem to know exactly what do to and say, who seem like they were born to be here. You feel like a fraud.

The afterparty is in full swing when you arrive at the venue. Loud music echoing across the room from the DJ booth, people clinking their glasses while wearing the finest clothes money can buy, and a never-ending stream of cold champagne being served by waiters in black. A few guests are dancing, some on the floor, some on tables.

You’re hiding. Out on the balcony, out of sight. If only just for a moment. Giving in to a temptation you’ve struggled to resist all night you try to lit a cigarette, but the damn lighter just flickers.

“Need a light?” he asks and the effect that voice has on you seem ridiculously disproportionate. You can however not deny that it’s happening to you. Your knees feels unsteady and your hands are shaking and surely the world is spinning too fast around you and surely you have a fever, and you want to blame it on the champagne, you want to blame it on the cold, you want to blame it on the hunger. But it’s him. It has always been him. Whatever it is about him, whatever magic quality that he possesses, that only he possesses, is entirely his own.  And no champagne in the world has ever made you feel as light headed as he has. As he still does.

As he walks up to you the world seems to be spinning and you try not to breath. The scent of him is surrounding you and you don’t want to breath him in. Because he’s not here to stay and he’s not yours to keep and soon he will leave, and you can already feel the wound in your heart pulling at its seams.  

He leans closer, over you, and he holds up a lighter and so you lean closer still with your cigarette. He then lights one for himself and for a while all you do is stand there, your back pressed against the wall and his body still leaning slightly over yours. You can hear the voices and the music from inside, the chaotic roars of celebration and delight. The pounding music. Down on the street the soft noise of never-ending traffic as cars drive by. And yet, you swear you can hear both of your hearts beat, even thought that must be impossible.  

It’s cold up on the rooftop but you can feel the heat of his body, so close to yours. Then he bows his head, almost as if in defeat, and he rests his forehead against yours and he takes a shaky breath.  

“Sorry” he mumbles against your forehead, but what he wants to say is – I’m sorry for the times I left without saying goodbye. I’m sorry I never stayed long enough to talk things out. I’m sorry I never told you how I felt, the way I still feel when you’re around. I’m sorry I was a coward when we met, I’m sorry I stayed when I thought it wouldn’t last. I’m sorry I left. God I’m so sorry I left. I’m sorry for the tear in your heart, but if you want to compare war wounds mine is yet to stop bleeding.  

He wants to say – I kept having this reoccurring dream where I was lost at sea, unable to set ashore and unable to sail away and all I could see was the light of the lighthouse and it blinded me. I couldn’t turn away from it. The rest of the world didn’t exist anymore and everything else paled against the blinding light. There was no sun, no moon, no stars. I couldn’t feel the rain or the cold or hear the screams of the sea. But the point of a lighthouse is to warn sailors of dangerous and traitorous paths ahead. In the end, there was nothing but the blinding light and I had to get closer still, I just had to, no matter the cost. And so, I crash against the rocks and every night I drown, mon ange, every night I drown.  

He wants to say – you are a force of nature and the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. the first time I saw you I didn’t know what to do with myself. It seemed impossible, you seemed impossible, like taken out of dreams I hadn’t realized I was having. And when you walked up to me I wanted to sound clever, make you laugh, impress you but I didn’t know, I still don’t know, what to do with myself when you’re around. So, I offered my hand for you to shake. And you took it in yours and you smiled up at me and I swear you’ve had my heart ever since. Like I’d handed it over to you in that handshake.  

He wants to say – and when you told me you loved me back I got scared, because you were beautiful and clever and funny and bright as the sun and I was half a world away for weeks and months on end and I didn’t understand how that could be enough for you. How you could settle for that. How could I let you? And I thought that surely you would meet someone else, someone better and they’d sweep you off your feet and that there would be nothing for me to do but to watch it happen and wish you the best. So, I thought of it as ripping of a band-aid and I left. Before you could leave me and I’m sorry. I was young and dumb and in love and didn’t know what to do with myself and I’m sorry.  

“Sorry for all of it” he adds, even though is seems heartbreakingly inadequate even to his own ears.  

You look up at him, really taking in the sight of him for the first time that evening. Hair’s a mess, like he’s dragged his hand through it a million times tonight. Dark circles under his eyes so prominent you feel worried for him and his lips pressed tightly shut together, as if he’s trying to keep a stream of words back from entering the world.  

“Let’s leave” your voice a soft whisper.  

He blinks, “wha- really?”, and you almost want to laugh at his puzzled expression.  

“I haven’t eaten all day in order to fit into this dress, I’m starving. Let’s go someplace where I can eat my body weight in fries, and then we’ll talk. Alright?”  

“Alright” he repeats, eyes full of stars as he looks down at you. And then, as if he’s unable to stop himself, he plants the gentles of kisses on your forehead. You smile up at him before reaching out your hand for him to take, and he does. It feels right.  

In silence you walk out of the hotel. In silence you stroll the streets before walking into a 24/7 open diner. It is nearly empty, but the few guests and the waitress inside all notice you when you walk in. The difference between the posh party you’ve just left and this rather dirty old diner makes you smile. You don’t know if they recognise either you or Timmy but you guess that your fine clothes give you away. Timmy leads you to the booth at the far back, away from the windows and from the staring eyes of the other diners. He then waits for you to sit down before sliding in beside you. It feels familiar. In the back of your mind there’s a nagging thought that this isn’t how it should be. Seeing each other again after nearly a year apart should surely be painful, be awkward, be difficult. This is anything but. This is the familiarity of coming home and sleeping in your own bed after having been gone for too long. This is re-watching your favourite movie from childhood. This is the smell of birthday parties as a child, cupcakes with vanilla frosting and strawberries and coffee in the air. This is a shower after a long day. Your favourite meal. A photo album from when you were young. Your most beloved song. It is bliss.  

On the stereo you can hear “I want hold your hand” by The Beatles over the faint sound of chatter. The whole place smells of fried food, yet his scent is so clear to you and you want to just cuddle up beside him, breath in the familiarity of him. So, you move closer and he wraps an arm around you, a big smile on his face. He kisses your forehead again and you smile.  

“And what are you ordering?” A waitress asks you both, tapping a notepad with her pen.  

“Do you have champagne?” you ask, only half joking. You might not have felt like celebrating all evening, but you do now.  

“No” is her answered, not amused.  

“Oh, well, fries? And a milkshake, strawberry, please” You smile at her, but she doesn’t melt, just writes down your order.  

“And you?” She turns to Timmy.  

“Oh, I’ll have fries too, and a coke, thank you”. He smiles too but the waitress still refuses to be charmed. She does however jot down his order too before dutifully rushing off to the kitchen.  

Timmy looks down at you, and the smile he gives you, you swear it is radiant. You swear you see stars in his eyes. You swear he looks at you so fondly you’re more than half in love with him again. But then you think, did you ever stop. Because sure, without him you were still breathing, you still functioned as you should. You still walked your dog, went to work, cooked dinner, showered. You still went out with friends. Still laughed. You went on the business of living. All the while you missing him. It was with you like a constant ache between your ribs. Sure, the first week after he left had been almost insufferable, like something vital had, without grace or ceremony, been ripped out of your body. But you had picked up the pieces of your life and you had dusted yourself off and you had gotten on with it. And here he was, smiling down at you with stars in his eyes. You don’t feel angry, but you wonder if maybe you should. For although he felt as familiar as a cuddly toy from childhood you needed answers.  

“Why did you leave?”  

His smile fades, he takes a shaky breath and leans his forehead against yours, as if to collect himself. Then, with an apparent effort he pulls himself together and sits up straight again, one arm still draped around you.  

“I just” a long paus. “I just thought you deserved better, I suppose”. You sit quietly and think this over. “Was that not up for me to decide?” you ask, gently. He lets out a shaky laugh. “Yeah” he agrees sounding bitter, and then, sounding almost embarrassed, “I got scared”. The way he says it sounds like a confession, and a fleeting though strikes you. He wants you to repent him for his sins. “What scared you?” Your voice is gentle and soft as a whisper. While you wait for his answer you find yourself absentmindedly painting little patterns over his hand. It seems to settle him.  

“The intensity of it all, I guess” and again, he sounds embarrassed, almost shy, as he confesses this to you. He nuzzles up closer to you, seeking comfort. Leaning his head against yours as you both observe your intertwined hands. “It never happened to me, not like that” and then adding, sensing your confusion “love, I mean. It never happened to me in that way, like I’d been struck by lightning or something. When it happened before, if that even was love, it grew slowly and then slowly faded. But this felt like, like” he seems at a loss for words for a second “like being thrown out of my orbit and it scared me. Being with you scared me, like I’d do fucking anything for you, be anyone for you. It just got really intense, really quick.”  

You don’t know what to say to that. Before the silence can drag out too long the waitress returns with your food which she places it in front of you before scurrying off. You untangle your hand from his grasp to grab a hold of your milkshake.

“Timmy” you start but he interrupts you, “no mon ange, please, let me explain properly first”. You can tell that the endearment slipped out without him having meant to use it, for it startles you both, and you can feel the wound in your heart pulling at its seams again. You then know that without realizing it a big part of you had just assumed that he was back in your life again, and back to stay. And hearing him call you his angel again in that familiar way, as if he had never gone made you question if he really was yours to keep. He realizes that he has made you tense up and he hurriedly tries to fix it, “shit, I’m sorry babe” and there’s the other one.

And a river of memories flows over you.  

A white room, with white curtains flowing in the wind as sunshine streams through them. Laying on white sheets on the hotel bed as he moves above you. You are laughing and moaning and touching. Then, a shaky whisper that might as well have been a praying in your ear as he comes, dragged out in all its glory, “babe”.

In a cinema at a movie premiere and on the screen your boyfriend having sex with another woman. You know it’s all pretend but it doesn’t stop the sinking feeling in your gut as you watch them. Then, his warm hand grasping yours, leaning in to whisper in your ear, “it’s all pretend, mon ange, I love you”.  

Fighting over a game of scrabble in your apartment “Babe, I really can’t help it if ‘squeeze’ is spelled with a Z and not an S!” “Alright, then you shouldn’t be allowed to spell ‘quickly’ with a CK!” Silence. Then “but that’s the correct spelling, that’s what it should be spelled like!”

“Fuck babe, you look amazing” his admiring eyes from across the room, and then his hands in your hair as he kisses you and you laughing into that kiss. “No, where going to be late!” “Fuck them”. Laughter again and then “No, fuck me”.

A telephone call in the middle of the night. Unexpected. You’re out on the balcony, hoping the cold air will make you feel less numb. “I’m sorry, mon ange, I just can’t do it anymore”.  

And then you’re back to reality again. “Babe, are you all right?” Timmy’s worried voice in your ear as he leans over you, trying to pull you back from the memories. “Look at me, please look at me, babe”. You do. He has tears in his eyes, you can tell he’s not far from shedding them. “Let me explain, I didn’t mean for it to sound like that, all I meant was that, that” and he looks so frustrated at not being able to put words on his own feelings. “All I mean is that, is that it felt like, that I felt like I loved you so much that I” he stops again and you wish you could help him formulate whatever it is he’s struggling with. “It felt so intense and it scared me. I wasn’t ready for it to happen to me like that, love I mean. I wasn’t ready for you. It scared me. I was a coward and I’m sorry”.  

You kiss him. Not passionately or fervently but gently and deliberately.

“Alright” you say before finally taking a sip of your now somewhat melted strawberry milkshake. It tastes heavenly, although kissing Timmy might just taste better. You look up at him, and he seems almost frozen in place, staring back at you with stars in his eyes again. “Wanna taste?” you ask, referring to the milkshake in your hand. He nods but doesn’t place his lips around the straw, instead he places them on your lips again. It’s still slow and gentle, but this time there’s a fever behind it. Like he wants to make up for all the time spent apart.  

Eventually you move away, smiling. He’s smiling too. You both tuck into your food and suddenly you feel starving. He’s still got one arm draped around you and he’s playing with your hair. And your chatting with one another. About all the small but important things that has happened in the others absence. You talk movies and music and travel too.  

Before you know its early morning.  

And here is how it goes. You leave the diner, still arm in arm, and make your way out into the morning. The glitter on your couture dress sheen in the sun and your limbs feel heavy with sleep deprivation. He manages to get you both a taxi and you make your way across New York City. His hand is warm in yours. You nearly fall asleep against his shoulder. The sky is a clear blue outside and the sun is beaming, and the taxi driver is humming along to the radio. It is Sunday and outside people are eating breakfast alfresco, enjoying time with their loved ones. The whole world seems to be smiling with you today.

And then you are at his apartment. He helps you out of your dress and you help him with the many buttons in his dress shirt. Body’s exhausted you both lay down in his bed, naked naked as the day you were born.

And this is how it goes. He holds you. He says softly, voice hardly more than a whisper “I won’t be a coward this time, promise. Promise I won’t leave again. Not unless you ask me to”. You turn around and you kiss him. And you trust him. And you fall asleep holding each other.  

***

This is a repost from my previous blog.

[littleindigochildx]

16 (task)

1.) Detail one secret shame that your muse feels.

Timothy feels an immense amount of guilt over the fact that he likes DC more than his own father. He still cares very deeply about David, and he will always love his dad because it’s his dad, but he has been gravitating towards Declan the way Savvy has and he genuinely enjoys spending time with DC more than David.

2.) What is your muse's idea of perfect happiness?

Timmy is the type of child who thrives when others thrive, so seeing his parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins happy is what makes him happy. Their smiling faces and genuine laughter is his idea of pure happiness.

3.) If your muse saw someone drop a large sum of money and knew they could probably take it without getting caught, what would they do?

Like his little sister, if Timothy saw someone drop money he would give it back because it’s not his to keep and he would want to do the right thing.

4.) Is your muse a leader or a follower?

Timothy’s timid nature makes him more of a follower than a leader. He’s never been very good at taking control of a situation or standing up for himself. He prefers to be given directions and to follow someone else’s lead. In most cases it’s his siblings (even his little sister) who step up. He doesn’t mind standing in their wake.

5.) What are a few common phrases that your muse says often? Where did they pick them up from?

“You’ve got’a be kiddin’ me” is probably a phrase he says most often, usually when he’s waiting for Savanna to finish getting ready. Timmy also says “Yer killin’ me smalls!” Both sayings he picked up from television.

6.) What makes your muse laugh out loud?

His parents (DC included), his siblings, and his cousins. Savvy probably makes him laugh the most because they spend the most time together. She always has the best jokes and she tries extra hard to cheer him up when he’s Upset.

7.) How would your muse prefer to die?

Quickly and painlessly.

8.) Who is your muse's first true love?

Aurora Valance. Timmy has had a crush on his babysitter for as long as he can remember. He still thinks that some day, when he’s older, they’ll get married.

9.) What are some outside influences on your muse? Could be a person, or not.

Ransom Deschaine. There is no one Timothy idolizes more than his big brother. Not even David.

10.) What is your muse's spirit animal? Why?

A chameleon. The chameleon symbolizes sensitivity and clairvoyance. It encourages patience, to gain insight, to always be curious, and to be resourceful. There is no need to go through life in a hurry because you should live it at your own pace. This sums Timothy up very well.

11.) Do they like to be outdoors or indoors?

It depends on the day. Victoria usually encourages the kids to put down their electronics and play outside, but there are days where Timmy would rather sit in his room and play video games. Especially when it’s hot or raining.

12.) Does your muse have any pet peeves? If so, what are they?

Timmy doesn’t like it when people chew with their mouths open. He thinks its a sign of poor table manners (not that his are the best) and it distracts him from his own meal. He also doesn’t like when people clap for food.

13.) Has anyone ever saved your muse's life? How?

On their last family vacation, before David and Victoria split up, Timmy and Savanna were playing on a frozen lake. The ice gave way and Timmy fell through. His sister Dottie risked her own life to pull him out of the water. To this day he calls her his guardian angel.

14.) What is your muse's most frequently used password?

Limbo14 after the town he lives in and his date of birth.

15.) What is your muse's favorite day of the week? Why?

Even though he still has school, Timmy’s favorite day of the week is Friday because he knows Victoria will let him stay up past his normal bedtime, and he has two full days of relaxation ahead of him. Weekends with his family are very important to the eight year old.

16.) What is your muse's zodiac sign and do you think it fits them?

This Valentine’s Day baby is an Aquarius. Personality traits associated with an Aquarius are, free-spirited and eccentric, they can often be identified by their offbeat fashion sensibilities, unusual hobbies, and nonconformist attitude. I don’t think this applies to Timothy  because his personality is the complete opposite.

17.) What would your muse do if they won the lottery?

Like any eight year old, he would want to use some of the money on new toys, but Timmy has a generous heart and he would also want to share the wealth with his family or donate to a charity to help others in need.

18.) If your muse had to call one person for help, who would it be? Why?

He would call his big brother, Ransom. The two of them have a special bond despite the age gap. Guys gotta stick together.

19.) Who is their hero?

Declan Deschaine. Timmy knows he’s not a perfect person, but he can see that DC has been making an honest effort to be a better person. He treats Timmy and Savvy like they’re his flesh in blood despite his feelings towards David.

20.) What is your muse's favorite holiday? Why?

Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. It’s too hard for him to choose just one. He loves them all for different reasons. Trick-or-treating is reason enough to be a fan of Halloween, plus Timothy loves bonding with his aunt Clara over horror movies. Thanksgiving will always be a favorite because of the food and family time. Christmas is a favorite because of the movies, baked goods, and holiday music. Nothing brings the family together quite like the holidays.

[lysitheaioandeuropa]

1-100 cute questions

:~)

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?- more cereal than milk! it has to be crunchy and milk is fucking gross, even though i use almond milk instead

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?- FUCK yeah, especially if it's also sunny outside

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?- grocery receipts are the usual culprit. maybe i should make my own bookmarks!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?- rn i'm having sugar free white chocolate w half & half and 3 splenda

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?- i'm self conscious of my entire existence my friend

6: do you keep plants?- yes! she gave me and orchid and a bamboo plant a while back, and i have ian my aloe/succulent

7: do you name your plants?- lmfao yes, ian! she named the bamboo melman, and i never named the orchid. zack and sabrina are no longer w us unfortunately

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?- i used to write and draw a lot. i don't get a chance to do it as often now but i rly am trying more. i'll even try my hand at inktober this year but yikes scared bc i can't actually draw

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?- hell yeah bitch if i am in the mood for it

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?- all of the above? lmao. my back is most cozy but sleep paralysis, so a mix of side stomach like its a specific diagonal ass position on my bed lol

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?- "coming this soon"

12: what's your favorite planet?- FUCKING JUPITER BRO OMFG MY URL ARE TWO OF MY FAVE MOONS OF JUPITER TEST ME BITCH

13: what's something that made you smile today?- i don't think i've smiled today? maybe something michelle said earlier when we went to lowe's

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?- *takes pics of my current place*might have a little more aesthetic to it just bc location though. and if i live in a bigger city than orlando that means i have more money to REALLY fulfill my aesthetic wishes

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!- Recent work by planetary scientists has indicated that the deep atmospheres of Jupiter and Saturn may contain chunks of diamond floating in a liquid hydrogen-helium fluid. MEANING, it rains diamonds on jupiter

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?- permission crusted chicken, w angel hair in a lemon butter sauce

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?- i was going for a magenta over the summer and was p successful but my mom paid for me to not keep lightening and shit, that wasn't my money so idc lol rn its auburn-ish. i rly do still want a light blond/almost gray though

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.- the time i got incredibly drunk, like, throwing up and dying can't even walk drunk like wow i'm not like that lmao so when that happens it's wild

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?- i have multiple journals and a sketch book. the sketch book is whatever i feel inspired to draw atm and bc thats so rare i just be picking it up and going lmao. i hardly write anymore, these questions kinda keep me going

20: what's your favorite eye color?- light brown is vastly underrated tbh, like yeah green is cool but i have always been a sucker for hazel or just noticeably lighter brown eyes. i remember this one boy in the 8th grade had me swooning w that alone lmao and ofc my gf now its soo nice

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.- i no longer have it, but i had the same jansport since the seventh grade. i used to customize it and sew on letters or iron on, change it up ever so often, and got rid of it senior year of high school

22: are you a morning person?- i really am not, but everyone thinks i am since i'm up at 6am even the days i ain't got shit to do

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?- PLAY VIDEO GAMES. draw, do these questions, sometimes even brainstorm ideas about books i'll never write

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?- shit every single one of them? well nvm, yeah there is. jordan. that's my ride or die forreal and honestly i think she does know ABSOLUTELY everything there is to know about me. timmy too actually!

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?- hmm idk if it counts but this one "abandoned house" in the gables to smoke, and the rooftop of merrick park late at night

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?- bro i had these low top black and white converse that i got for christmas one year from this boy that rly liked me lmao i kept them for a hotttt minute, through college i think but had to throw them away when the sole finally gave out

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?- just mint is fine

28: sunrise or sunset?- sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?- just how she remembers and notices absolutely everything. i moved a pin in my room once and after not having been over for a week she asked me where it was as soon as she walked in

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?- yeah last night when i was home alone and i swear i thought i heard knocks on my bedroom door which would be impossible. fuck no i didn't open it

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.- i think socks are cool, they make my feet soft if i put them on immediately after showering & moisturizing. they protect your heels from getting too cracked as well. i don't care for white socks, but am a slut for black no show ones. i sometimes have to buy kids socks bc my feet are so fucking small that no show, still show. i like aesthetic socks! like the ones w cartoons and stuff like that. and knee high socks can be sexy, just maybe not on me?

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.- i don't be w friends like that? OH but this one night we went to see Laidback Luke at Space and then we went to Nikki beach to drink some more and watch the sun rise and we all rly bonded and i learned some shit about my friends i def ain't know before it was rly nice. there was a dog we met there named molly LMFAO

33: what's your fave pastry?- i like lemon and red velvet stuff. guava and cheese pastries are good too i miss them

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?- okay i didn't rly have any stuffed animals as a kid, but that boy i was obsessed with, omar, he gave me a plush lil puppy one year for christmas and omg i cherished it lmao. but then my dog got it and i was so sad :(

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?- FUCK YEAH I DO. i use them often, though not as often as before like i need to get back on track w being organized

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?- arctic monkeys, always

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?- clean!!!! i finished cleaning it completely today and wow i feel like a brand new person

38: tell us about your pet peeves!- messes stress me outtttttt, like gross unhygienic messes omfg

39: what color do you wear the most?- black bitch, next

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?- i have these 1/4 carat diamond earrings that i received as a christmas gift last year from one of my kids and it was just so sweet and i rly love them, they're the only earrings i wear now

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?- the zodiac series! and lord of shadows!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!- no i don't, not yet at least. i would like to find a rly rly nice one, maybe we'll go hunting for one next weekend. there are two rly good boba places i like though!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?- michelle maybe? and no gaze, we just noticed the starts were nice during that hurricane lmao

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?- july 8, 2017 it was short lived limited to just that day lmao but it was nice

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?- some times? my instincts don't be telling me a lot tbh

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.- "what did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot? Mitosis"

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?- sea food? fucking pickles!! mustard too

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?- roaches, and possibly hell yeah

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?- i do! but i have apple music now so i do not buy music or anything any more

50: what's an odd thing you collect?- tickets. plane tickets, parking tickets, concert tickets, admission tickets, sometimes even receipts, if it has a nice enough memory attached to it i collect it

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?- nothing i can think of at the moment

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?- salt bae, all the "it" memes, the neo yokio memes, "i had to do it to em," x-files memes

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?- i'm familiar w rocky horror & the heathers, love beattle juice, haven't watched pulp fiction

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?- myself whenever i look in the mirror

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?- i don't rly be doing shit "just to prove a point" thats rly petty

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?- love when their faces light up talking about some shit that gets them hype

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?- i rly don't fucking care for bohemian rhapsody like why is that a thing

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?- i am vodka aunt

59: what's your favorite myth?- I LOVE ALL GREEK MYTHOLOGY EQUALLY. norse mythology is cool too, as is celtic but i think greek is my fave

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?- poetry is hard to get into bc so much of it doesn't resonate w me or comes off as fake deep tumblr posts (i'm looking @ you milk and honey). howl by allen ginsberg is still my fave

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?- i'm always surprised to be getting any gifts at all, i don't think i have ever received anything "stupid." my gf used to love giving me food and candy though but like i'm fat so no. and i don't give gifts without putting any thought into it so i have never given a "stupid" gift either.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?- no, i drink ice cold water and coffee. sometimes crystal light which isn't rly juice to me i think its just flavored water

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?- nigga YES! i just reorganized my entire bookshelf and my itunes is not as neat bc i'm behind but i also keep that rly meticulously done

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?- blue-ish gray

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?- my gf, lmao. thuy!!!! nick and andres too omg!!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?- not roses, it'd be an assortment of a ton of flowers, lots of pink and green and white

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?- i fucking THRIVE it's nice, scary movie and reading weather

68: what's winter like where you live?- it's FAKE AS HELL. i wish it just a tad cooler, like ten or fifteen degrees

69: what are your favorite board games?- i like scategories and the game of life. candyland!

70: have you ever used a ouija board?- those are caucasian activities no thank you

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?- great tea or tazo passion tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?- HELL YEAH and i'll note it down multiple times like written, typed, phone agenda, etc it's hard and i hate my shit memory

73: what are some of your worst habits?- procrastination is the worst i think

75: tell us about your pets!- i don't have any :( i would count zeus but i'm also deathly allergic to him

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?- yeah!!!!! smh

77: pink or yellow lemonade?- "why not both?" probably pink more

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?- hate that shit they're so ugly and annoying and gross and hate how they talk like bro

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?- i never thought my mom cared about me tbh but she threw me a huge graduation/birthday party i cried.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?- they're a nude/beige, i didn't pick it but i'm also not painting over. its nice though

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.- this sounds nice in theory but i dont rly have the energy for it rn lol

82: are/were you good in school?- i was but i coasted, had i tried a lot harder and dedicated more time to it i could have been better

83: what's some of your favorite album art?-i can't think of any rly  

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?- i have to add to what i have on my back, and have a few more i would like but am not sure about

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?- i do! i'm actually reading one now on tumblr, its called countdown to countdown and its rather interesting. i like twd comics, and am also reading the OoT manga. i rly love manga too actually, inuyasha was the first one i read that got me into it

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?- BECAUSE THE INTERNET, CHILDISH GAMBINO

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?- i've seen a ton of movies dude. i think spirited away or kiki's delivery service, or princess mononoke. ghibli movies w strong female leads. howl's moving castle too but it does focus more on romance. i should reread the book

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?- i'm not familiar enough w art to tell you! i think art is rly interesting though, and don't particularly care for modern art

89: are you close to your parents?- not rly, but am more so as an adult. i don't tell them my business or anything like that though

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.- seattle just really resonates w me and the more i talk about it the stupider it sounds. but i have been to quite a few cities, DC, atlanta, Tallahassee, miami, san diego, vegas, the list goes on. none of them made me feel the way seattle does. maybe bc i went alone? maybe the time period that i went? some of the memories attached to the city kind of suck now, lol, but still rly important to me

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?- nowhere in particular this year, but i'm def going back to seattle next year guaranteed, maybe doing paradiso

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?- if its my own sauce then no cheese at all, otherwise olive garden def hates me

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?- i just wash it and wear it down

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?- today is felisha's bday apparently

95: what are your plans for this weekend?- uh idk, ig see my gf. i'm avoiding a baby shower but idk what we'll do instead

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?- i procrastinate on them a ton lmfao "remind me later" yeah bitch in like a century

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?- INTP, gemini, ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?- i don't think i ever have gone hiking

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.- i'm sure there are a few but nothing i can think of off the top of my head. reflection by 5h actually lol

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?- FIVE YEARS INTO THE PAST and five years ago is a rly good time to go back to!!! i was 20 and going through suchhhhh a bad break up but i wish i could have gotten up and been a bad bitch sooner lol i love the stuff i experienced that year, went to my first edc and whatnot. 2013 was rough on me but i pushed through it! 2014 i made some bad choices that i would change, 2015 wan alright but i can do it better and i'm not even sure what 2016 was. i would have started teaching sooner had i known it was something i could do i think. i would have worked harder and been more responsible especially financially, though tbh i did pretty well. i'd just do adulthood a lot better and start off a lot stronger. I WOULD REDO THAT LOCKHEED INTERVIEW AND ROCK THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

[nightwingswing]

“The family’s girl” (Batfam x reader) Part5

Hi there!

Sorry for the short hiatus. College was murder! But here I am again!

Have you heard the news??? A Nightwing movie!!!! i’m so used to give and now..

A FREAKING NIGHTWING MOVIE!!!!!!!!!

i’m scared they’ll mess up .

Nonetheless! Thanks for you support, ask and coments. Really, I love reading them. So, i’ve found a pattern. @hamsterforlive seems to coment in almost all the chapters and! reads them repeatedly. Their last comment in the part 4 made me laught, so... you got a little something in the story. ;) Probably this Sunday or Monday will come the part 6, as this one is a bit shorter than the others.

Love you, little wings!

(Promps open!)

Part1 Part2  Part3 Part4 Part5 (here you are!) Part6  [Interlude] Part7  Part8  Part9  Part10

Until-

A wild hamster appeared between the two of you, hitting Dick straight in his face, you grabbed the pet before it hit the ground as Dick sweared and grabbed his nose. 

Following the wild hamster came someone who was wearing a hamster hoodie and a mask. They apologized profusely to the two of you, you smiled at them and said that it was alright and then ran away, blushing and hamster in hand... Then Dick looked at you, and realization got to him and blushed he then said,

“Well, I have to go. Tomorrow I gotta go to work early” Dick smiled, but if you looked deep in his eyes, the frustration was there. Because, God, what does a guy gotta do to get laid with the girl he likes, dammit!

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then. Good night Dick.”

“Good nigh-“You pecked him in the lips before blush hard and run inside your house. As the door closed you leaned on the door.

Dick had frozen, fingers touching his lips. Realization seemed to get to him and suddenly he was yelling happily, dancing and giggling. After his little happiness dance and act like a crazy person, Dick entered his flat.

You smiled as you saw everything through the peephole.

God, he was such a dork!

////*\\\\

The next day.

As you were walking home you remembered you had to go shopping…aaand you had forgot the money back home.

“S*ht” You facepalmed.

“What troubles the most beautiful girl in the universe?” A guy dressed in red and blacks, medium black hair and what seemed like wing as a cape landed in front of you, smiling at you as he flipped his hair out of the way.

“Who are you? I thought Nightwing was the only superhero in the ‘Haven.”

“I’m Red Robin, achanté m’lady” He kissed your hand sweetly. You blushed at the same time your stomach decided to be a b*ch and roared like a tyrannosaurus rex.

“…sorry” You smiled awkwardly.

“You hungry? I know a pretty fine place not to far” Red robin suggested.

“I-I don’t have money on me…” Red robin smiled at you before messing your hair.

“Don’t worry about it. Is on me”

////*\\\\

OH MY GOOOOD

THIS PLACE REALLY EXIST!!!!!

I THOUGHT IT WAS A MYTH!!!

OMG

That were the thought that were battling in your head as Red Robin had bought you..

To a batman themed McDonald’s.

Oh my f*cking god

“This isn’t as classy as you deserve, but I-I didn’t bought to much cash. This suit is really tight you know?” Tim-I mean Red Robin rambled, a soft blush on his cheeks.

“Red, don’t worry. I love it” You touched his cheek sweetly as his face broke in the cutes smile and the reddest blush.

“C’mon lets go inside! “ You grabbed Red’s arm and dragged him towards the door.

He got a cheeseburger and you got a Batmeal, It’s like a happy meal but batman themed.

 You two were sitting in one of the ‘Haves highed rooftops eating you food, joking and laughing. He told you embarrasing stories about Nightwing and some about his other partners. He asked what you were doing and if there was someone for you.

You blushed as you said no, Red smirked flirtatiously.

“I don’t understand, how someone so beautiful is single” You laughed embarrased at his flirtaious coments.

“Thanks, red. But I don’t think I’m that beautiful” Your smile became strained and sad. 

“You’re kidding right? I’ve meet aliens, superheroines, amazons and you are the most beautiful of them all. With that adorable face, those sparkling (e/c) eyes that silky (h/c) hair....gosh” Red sighed dreamily.

“heh” You said as his declaration leave you speechless, realization got to his brain and his face matched the red of his uniform.

“OH GOD! I--I DIDN’T WANT TO MAKE YOU UMCOMFORTABLE! I’M NOT LIKE THAT, I-I JUST FIND YOU INCREDIBLY APPEALING AND INTELLIGENT AND I-I HATE WHEN YOU SAY THOSE LIES TO YOURSELF AND I’M SORRY I’M RAMBLING BUT I CAN’T STOP WHEN I’M WITH YOU BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO LIKE ME- OH I-I DIND’T WANT TO SAY THAT, THE LIKE ME THING- WE CAN BE FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW ME AND ALL SO YEAH SORRY, BUT PLEASE DON’T HATE ME, I’M OFTEN MORE SERIOUS THAN THIS. BUT YOU MAKE ME SO OOC”

You broke in a laughing fits and after a few seconds Red started laughing with you, his fit was more out of nerves than of finding this funny.

After the two of you calmed down, you found yourself sitting close to Red with his hand around yours.

“What toy did you get?” Red asked you, whishing it was his toy and not his brothers.

“Look! I got a …..”

“RED-“

Tim smiled

“HOOD”

Tim smile disappeared.

He frowned as you started playing with the toy.

“pew pew! Hahahahaha”

“How about we do this every Wednesday? Just you and me” Red asked, his warm hand wrapping around yours.

“I-I don’t want to be a burden”

“NO! YOU NEVER WILL BE A BURDEN TO MEEE”

“…”

“Y’know, you remind me of my best friend. His name is Tim.” You smiled sweetly and Tim felt cold sweat run through his back.

“TIM? NO, I DON’T KNOW HIM!!!!!1 WHATEVER IS A TIM???!! HAHAHAHAHA TIM DRAKE???! WHAT? I’M CUTER THAN HIM! HAHAHAHA-Sorry, normalyi’mmore seriusandintelligent,youjustaresobeautiful,idon’tknowhowtoact.” Tim rambled, blushing.

“Hey, it’s alright. I-I think you’re handsome to.” Tim face sparkled happiness all over.

YESSSS, SUCK IT ,DICK!!! SHE THINKS IM HANDSOME!!!

Tim thought while smiling softly at you and kissing your cheek, then your nose and then your hand.

“I have to go now, but I can’t wait to meet again”

Tim grabbed you bride style and flied out of there.. He bought you back to your place, entering through the windows.

“Well, goodbye (Y/N). I hope to see you soon.”

“Likewise, Red!” You kissed him European style and Red Robin jumped out, his silhouette disappearing in the sky.

Your phone started ringing.

Tim Drake said:

(y/n)!!! Are you home? I bought movies and popcorn!

You said:

Timmy! Yea come up! I’ll prepare the couch and the blankets.

Tim Drake said:

‘kay

Meanwhile you got everything done, a nervous Tim Drake was changing in the alley next to your flat. He tried to change at Flash speed, but no. He fell to the ground trying to get out of the stupid tights.

STUPID PANTS! WHY U GOT TO BE SO TIGHT

He fought his pants a bit more before successfully changing to his civvies.

“I’m ready. (y/n) get ready to be sweep out of your feet!”

/////*\\\\\

The doorbell rang as you finished preparing everything. You got the blankets ready, you had your comfy pajama and (f/d).

You smiled and went to get the door.

“Hey Timmy!” You smiled at the young man, dressed in a red hoodie and black pants. His hair was a mess and he looked out of breath.

“Hey, (y/n). bought the popcorn!” He said dangling the popcorn in the air.

“Great!” You grabbed it and went to your kitchen. Tim took a deep breath and looked in the mirror, arranging his hair and encouraging himself to confess.

“Timmy! Come in, don’t stand there.”

“oh right! What do you want to see? Tim sat in the conch

“What did you bought?” You sat next to him, covered the two of you in your favorite blanket and put the bowl between the two of you.

“W-Well, we got “Bridget Jones” “The conjuring” “Lego” and “Noah’s diary”. So which one?”

“hmm I feel like seeing a scary movie, so… “The conjuring” I know I’ll regret it but… YOLO”

“hahaha.” Tim laughed at your funny face.

You got up and put the movie in the DVD player. Then sat again next to Tim, but this time your head was tucked in his shoulder, he smiled and put his arm around you. In his head he was high fiving himself and doing a little victory dance.

////*\\\\

In the most scary parts, you and Tim sat closer and closer until you were in his lap and Tim was caressing you shoulder absentmindedly. The two of you made a cocoon of the blankets. Tim mussed up the courage to kiss you.

“C’MON TIM! YOU CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU’VE FIGHT ALIENS, JOKERS AND PSYCHOS”

Tim kissed you cheek first then his kisses trailed down to your neck. Sweet little kisses draw a map on your skin. Soft moans escaped you and Tim’s courage increased exponentially.

The movie played in the background as Tim kisses distracted you, playfully you kissed his neck, making him the moaning mess. Most when you found his sweet spot, wich you used against him when you felt like it or he did moved under you, breaking your concentration.

As the movie was almost finished, it had started raining. Loud thunder and lightning painted the sky.

As you were sitting in Tim’s lap and your head was hiding in his neck, your kisses had stopped as the first loud thunder broke the peace of the night. Tim was hugging you his face tucked in your hair, he had stopped kissing you and now was trying to calm you down, when suddenly the light went out.

“AHHHHHHHHH” You and Tim screamed.

BAMP BAMP BAMP!

Someone was hitting the door.

“OH MAI GAT, TIMMY PROTECT MEEEH” You screamed as hugged Tim tighter, your legs came around his waist.

BAMP BAMP BAMP!!!

“AHHHHH-”

“SSHHHHH” Tim shushed you.

You went towards the door, your phone’s flashlight illuminated your way. You looked at Tim for reassurance, he gave you a thumps up as he grabbed a frying pan and came next to you, ready to hit the monster.

“1…2….3” You whispered before opening the door.

“AAAHHHHHHIYAAA” Tim tried to hit the shadow in the door but it stopped the pan before it hit it. It growled menacingly and Tim grabbed you and put you behind him, you used the distraction to go get a weapon, that turned out to be a vase, with flowers and everything.

“WHO ARE YOOUU?” You screamed as Tim thought of ways of fighting the shadow without blowing his secret identity.

Lighting and thunder decided to appear now as the shadow of a man entered your flat, it smirked at your despair.

Tim grabbed your phone and illuminated the intruder’s face.

“YOU” Tim said outraged.

“me” It smirked evilly

It was-

To be continued….

Who do you think is the shadow??

[starspatter]

TimSteph & *inhales* 1, 3, 6, 7, 9, 11, 17, 19, 20, 25, 26, 27 aaand 29

ilu thank you for asking Again, this is DCAU only (i.e. for Timmy Todd).  Spoilered for length.

1. Who is the most affectionate?Stephanie, since Tim still has an ingrained fear of physical contact/intimacy.  While he rarely initiates, he feels comfortable enough around her that he appreciates the constant cuddling.3. Most common argument?Anytime one keep secrets from the other, and over the safety of their kids/how much freedom they should have, since Tim tends to be really strict + (understandably) overprotective with them.

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?Gonna borrow a canon quote from the mainstream comics (Batman 12-Cent Adventure) and say for Steph it’s “his warm, shy laugh” (especially since it’s rare for Timmy Todd) and “clean-smelling hair”.  I imagine the same holds true in reverse for Tim, since Steph’s million-watt smile and fluffy hair are my favorite things about her. ;P *shot* (Normally I’m not one for bubbly blondes, but goshdurnit she’s just too cute. 7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Ahh Steph’s cheerful energy is totally infectious so the more time Tim spends around her the more he starts to smile/crack jokes again.  I pretty much picture her enthusiastically dragging him around to social events to have fun instead of staying cooped up in his room all the time with his computer (much like Ayano and Shintaro with the Culture Festival, although Tim is much more receptive/respectful towards her).

9. Who worries the most?

Tim, definitely.  The anxiety and paranoia never does fully go away, and it often takes a lot of patient coaxing and consoling from Steph to calm him down from a panic attack.11. Who tops?

asdlkfjdl Steph would (at least at first to teach Timmy the Boy Virgin *shot*)17. Who says I love you first?Stephanie.  It takes a long time before Tim can say it aloud without being embarrassed.19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?Stephanie totally boasts about their relationship the first chance she gets lol.  Tim is much more reserved about it, although everyone could already tell he liked her anyway (Dick and Barb totally tease him relentlessly about it).  …Although no one bothers to directly contact Bruce until the wedding (Tim does send him an invitation, but ofc he doesn’t respond), he still keeps tabs on his son’s affairs from afar, in his secretive Batdad way.20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?Dick and Barbara are obviously happy for their little bro finding someone who can help him to smile and be more outgoing again.  (Dick might actually secretly be a bit jealous, since watching the two together reminds him a lot of when he and Barbara used to date.)  Stephanie’s mom also approves of Tim, since he’s smart and polite and seems like a “very nice boy” (a marked improvement over other guys her daughter has dated in the past) - even if he seemingly has some… “difficulties” (although she might be able to sympathize with him/offer assistance and advice based on her own experiences battling depression and drug addiction).  He looks to her like the loving mother he never had growing up, although he’s extremely nervous about her finding out his past.  (Eventually they do tell her the truth, and she hugs and dotingly spoils him even more as her own son.)25. Who needs more assurance?Tim, although Stephanie has a tendency to get jealous.  (Actually her first assumption when he started working longer nights and making strange/suspicious phone calls in RotJ was that he might be having an affair. *shot*)26. What would be their theme song?Ahh I have so many at this point so Imma just gonna dump a bunch (well, the first few are basically ones I couldn’t fit into my fic somehow ^^; ):“Alive” by Adelitas Way“What if I told you that I think you’re perfect?Beautiful sky in your eyes, it’s so worth it.I know you make me feel alive.‘Cause you make meLaugh a little louder,Love a little harder.”“Science and Faith” by The Script“Tried to break love to a scienceIn an act of pure defianceI broke her heartOf all of the things that she’s ever saidShe goes and says something that just knocks me dead:You won’t find faith or hope down a telescopeYou won’t find heart and soul in the starsYou can break everything down to chemicalsBut you can’t explain a love like ours”“We’ll Be the Stars” by Sabrina Carpenter“We are young, we are goldTrying things we didn’t knowLooking at the sky, see it come aliveAll our fears became our hopesClimbed out every locked windowLet me in, hold me closeFill my heart with simple notesSo when it’s hard to see,They are there, reminding meTake my breath, and hold me highSo I can feel the city lightsGlowing under me”(This one might actually apply more to their comics counterparts, but let’s just say it’s a happy AU where they met as Robin and Spoiler and neither of them dies/gets tortured mmkay.)“Landslide” by Oh Wonder“I know it hurts sometimes butYou’ll get over itYou’ll find another life to liveI know you’ll get over itI know you’re sad and tiredYou’ve got nothing left to giveSo when you’re caught in a landslideI’ll be there for you, I’ll be there for youAnd in the rain, give you sunshineI’ll be there for you, I’ll be there for youAnd every time that you’re lonelyEvery time that you’re feeling low, you should knowI’ll be there for you, I’ll be there for youI know your hope is heavy butYou’ll get over itAnd I know you feel like everythingIs falling to the windBut don’t you let the thunder in”“Superheroes” by The Script“All her life she has seenAll the meaner side of meThey took away the prophet’s dreamFor a profit on the streetAll his life he’s been toldHe’ll be nothing when he’s oldAll the kicks and all the blowsHe won’t ever let it showShe’s got lions in her heart, a fire in her soulHe’s a got a beast in his belly that’s so hard to controlCause they’ve taken too much hits, taking blow by blowNow light a match, stand back, watch them explode” “Second Chances” by Gregory Alan Isakov”All of my heroes sit up straightThey stare at the groundThey radiateI’m running from nothing, no thoughts in my mindOh my heart was all black, but I saw something shineThought that part was yours, but it might just be mineI could share it with you, if you gave me the timeI’m all bloody knuckles, longing for homeIf it weren’t for second chances, we’d all be aloneI’m a shot through the dark, I’m a black sinkholeIf it weren’t for second chances, we’d all be alone”“Rush Together” by Quietdrive“They grew up in the same old townNever knowing the other was aroundRead from the same damn booksNever gave each other looksBut one day the sun will shineI know, for their eyes have told me soChasing advice from those who say ‘I’ve lost my mind’Rush together to find each otherNow it’s too late, you can never wait for luckForever bound by the same instrumentWe all adhereThat’s guilt”“Start the Machine” by Angels and Airwaves“I grew so close to all the thoughts I had to leave forever I left the chill and voice of screams and kids and ran for shelterThe pain has a bad reaction A blend of fear and passionYou know what it’s like to believeIt makes me wanna screamI see the stars, they’re in your eyesA playful kiss, can you tell I’m excited?A fast escape in the nick of timeIf you lost your wish, can I help you find it?I’m on my knee, just one to startA fresh new start, don’t be undecided”(Bit of a starry theme here, eh? XP I feel it works for them, whether they’re nighttime vigilantes or not.)“Heroes and Thieves” by Vanessa Carlton“Well, disaster it strikes on a daily basisI’m looking for wisdom in all the wrong placesBut still want to laugh in disappointed facesHeroes and thieves at my doorI can’t seem to tell them apart anymoreJust when I’ve figured it outWell darlin’ it’s you I’m withoutWell I’m stubborn and wrongBut at least I know itKeep moving along until I can get through thisBut maybe this song is the best I can do itWell, it seems like I’m getting closer somehowA flicker of peace that I’ve finally foundThank you for believing in me now‘Cause I do need it” “Come to Me” by Goo Goo Dolls“I’ll be kind, if you’ll be faithful You be sweet and I’ll be grateful Cover me with kisses dear Lighten up the atmosphereCome to me with secrets bare I’ll love you more so don’t be scaredI caught you burnin’ photographs Like that could save you from your past History is like gravity It holds you down away from me You and me, we’ve both got sins I don’t care about where you’ve been Don’t be sad and don’t explain This is where we start again”(This is so cheesy but the couple in the video resembles these two so much it makes me want to cry.  Even the lyrics video has some striking parallels to my upcoming fic, which I swear was just a coincidence.)“Diary” by Ken Kamikita“I forget all painful things, those blue words spilling out, the end of a distant spring The city in sunset, as if oblivious of the crimes committed today, rings out sounds of the bell signalling the end.Back alleys, laughing voices, at the other side of the window, sight of a happy familyMy heart ached as I looked up, the first star was shining brightlyThe moment I realized, there was nothing left, I spent today in regrets and threw everything away, What’s left behind, all the time, is the me, unable to changeI recoil from love, the wind still blew, throughout the city I left behind, the end of a hot summer Burdens piling up, memories of the days we could laugh together, I desert them all and begin walking Even though I can’t see what’s ahead, even though you’re not thereI take a detour, a swing in the park, water garden, vanishing lives Citizen hall, piano sounds, you flashed a fleeting smile As I laugh, ‘since it’s you, everything’s going to be fine’”(Translated lyrics from here.)”A Page Is Turned” by Bebo Norman”A page is turned by the wind to a boy in curly grin With a world to conquer at the age of ten But as history unfolds and the storybook is told He finds salvation but not at the hands of manThe God of second chance Will pick them up and he’ll let them dance Through a world that is not kind And all this time, they’re sharing with the one That holds them up when they come undone Beneath the storm, beneath the sun And once again, here you standYour day has come” 27. Who would sing to their child back to sleep?Stephanie, being the more musically inclined of the two thanks to her piano lessons.  Tim might join in if he’s feeling particularly at ease though (however his real specialty is telling the kids bedtime stories, based on his Adventures as Robin).  I can actually picture them singing the “Dango Daikazoku” song together.  (Incidentally, I have a headcanon of Ayano singing the song to the Meka Trio, since she and Nagisa share the same voice actress. ;O)

29. One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heartSteph blames herself for not noticing her husband was being possessed by the Joker (although she sensed something was clearly off), and wasn’t able to prevent RotJ from happening.  Tim of course feels even more guilty about it, but she helps keep him from falling too deep into despair by still accepting him despite it all.

[speakenglish]

expressions from the Chanzy conversation group....... follow the link for more details http://www.englishcurrent.com/idioms/esl-idioms-intermediate-advanced/

ring a bell

A: Do you know April O’Neil?

B: Hmm. Maybe. That name rings a bell.

 on the one hand / on the other hand

On the one hand, Peter’s roommate is kind. On the  other hand, he’s quite messy.

have/keep an open mind

I tried to keep an open mind about Allan even though  I’d heard some bad things about him.

on the tip of your tongue

His name was on the tip of my tongue… but I couldn’t  remember it.

a hangover (noun) / hung-over (adj)

Tyler was too hung-over from last night’s party to go  to work.

~ish

Let’s meet around 4ish.

fed up

I’m fed up with my neighbour’s dog.

Big deal!

It takes you 15 minutes to walk to school? Big deal!

Give sb a hand

My dad gave me a hand with my homework.

let the cat out of the bag

It was going to be a surprise party, until Todd let  the cat out of the bag.

give it a shot

If you think you can make the team, then give it a  shot.

No way!

A: George, I’m pregnant.

B: No way!

 The more the merrier.

A: Can I invite my brother?

B: Sure. The more the merrier.

 give it your all

Even though I lost the race, I gave it my all.

first-hand

I saw the accident happen, first-hand.

a dead end

Let’s not take this path. It leads to a dead end.

time flies

Time flies when you’re having fun.

pull sb’s leg

“You have 6 brothers? You’re pulling my leg!”

have sth on your mind

When Dana has something on her mind, she likes to go  for a long walk by herself.

keep track

I use my watch to keep track of time.

from scratch

My aunt made the cake from scratch.

off the top of your head

He asked me to tell him a joke, but I couldn’t think  of one off the top of my head.

learn your lesson

The boy learned his lesson. He’ll never play with fire  again.

keep/bear in mind

The professor told his students to keep in mind that  they only have 50 minutes to complete the test.

speak your mind

Timmy was afraid to speak his mind in front of his  schoolmates.  

Just my luck!

It rained on my only day off. Just my luck!

There’s nothing to it.

Why don’t you make a simple website for your business?  There’s nothing to it.

get out of hand

 The house party got out of hand, so we had to call the  police.

cut a long story short

To cut a long story short, Lisa and I have had some  interesting experiences together.

a piece of cake

The test was a piece of cake. I finished it in 20  minutes.

go out of your way to do sth

 I went out of my way to help Jenny find an apartment,  and she didn’t even say thanks!

cross your mind

The thought never even crossed my mind.

road rage

I don’t like being in the car with Gary. He has difficulty  controlling his road rage.

go on about

The old man went on about his school days for nearly  an hour.

slip your mind

I was going to return the library books today after  work, but the thought slipped my mind.

have/throw a fit

The baby threw a fit when I took his toy away.

The ball is in your court

 The ball is in their court now. Let’s wait for their  decision.

make your day

Finding a fifty-dollar bill on the ground made my day.

a rip off / to rip sb off

 Six dollars for a cup of coffee?! What a rip off!

 get a kick out of sth

I get a kick out of reading science fiction novels.

catch sb’s eye

The bright advertisement caught my eye.

jump the gun

I jumped the gun and asked Gail to marry me.  

give sb a piece of your mind

The angry worker gave his boss a piece of his mind.

cross your fingers

Kate crossed her fingers and hoped it wouldn’t rain on  her wedding day.

cost (sb) an arm and a leg

The designer handbag cost her an arm and a leg.

be in hot water

Ken was in hot water about forgetting his wedding  anniversary.

an eye-opener

The film on global warming was a real eye-opener for  Tom.

let off steam

Ted plays squash when he needs to let off steam.

read between the lines

You can figure out the author’s opinion by reading  between the lines.

go all out

We went all out and booked a five-star hotel for our  trip.

out of line

Mark’s comment was out of line. He shouldn’t have said  that to a client.

be on sb’s back

My manager is on my back about being at work on time.

would not be seen/caught dead

I wouldn’t be seen dead wearing an ugly dress like  that.

have mixed feelings

Larry has mixed feelings about his new job.

draw a blank

When asked for her postal code, Amy drew a blank.

You name it.

A: Daddy, can I have anything on the menu?

B: Sure. You name it, you got it.

 know your stuff

Jim has been a mechanic for 20 years. He really knows  his stuff.

 left, right and centre

Businesses were closing in town left, right and  centre.

a change of heart

After seeing a mouse on the floor, I had a change of  heart about eating at the restaurant.

a long haul

 Peter told his boss that he wouldn’t quit. He’s in it  for the long haul.

be man enough

George was the only one man enough to admit he had  made a mistake.

be second to none

The apple pie at this restaurant is second to none.

know/learn the ropes

It took me a month to learn the ropes at my new job.

a breath of fresh air

The new employee, Gail, is a breath of fresh air in  the office.

get your act together

The coach told me that if I didn’t get my act  together, I’d be kicked off the team.

set your heart on sth

Eric has his heart set on participating in the  Olympics.

take sb/sth for granted

Keith took it for granted that his girlfriend would  always stay with him. Then, one day, she was gone.  

play it by ear

A: How long will you stay in Australia?

B: I’m not sure. I’m just going to play it by ear.

 put all your eggs in one basket

Greg invested his money in a few different areas. He  didn’t want to put all his eggs in one basket.

Birds of a feather (flock together)

A: It’s funny that all of Kate’s friends are  attractive.

B: So is she. I guess birds of a feather flock  together.

 have second thoughts

I’m starting to have second thoughts about my new  apartment.

pay the price for

Don’t touch my stuff. If you do, you’ll pay the price.  

a basket case

Darryl’s ex-wife is a total basket case.

on the dot

We arrived at 8 o’clock on the dot.

not have a clue

I don’t have a clue where Nunavut is.

have a shot at

Our team has a shot at winning the championship.

the word spread

It took only an hour for word to spread around the  office that John had been fired.  

safe and sound

I arrived home from my trip safe and sound.

be a pain (in the neck)

My brother is a real pain in the neck sometimes.

be in the same boat

The governments of Portugal and Greece are in the same  boat. They both need financial assistance.

be/feel at home

After two years, James felt at home in Prague.

be in sb’s good books

Ryan is not in his father’s good books right now  because he scratched his car.

get out of bed on the wrong side

I’d avoid talking with Bob today. He must’ve got out  of bed on the wrong side.

up-and-coming

Roger is an up-and-coming hockey player from Toronto.

get into gear

You’d better get into gear or you’ll be late.

out of the blue

One day, out of the blue, I received a letter from my  former schoolmate.

set the record straight

In a TV interview, the politician set the record  straight about his experiences in the military.

keep an eye on

The security guard kept an eye on the suspicious man.

a grey area

Because of a grey area in his job description, Peter  was not exactly sure what all of his responsibilities were.

get/let sb off the hook

Luckily for her, the policeman let Jane off the hook  for parking her car in a no-parking zone.

out of sight, out of mind.

Jim was happy when his ex-girlfriend moved out of his  apartment -- out of sight, out of mind.

give sb the cold shoulder

Ted gave his ex-girlfriend the cold shoulder when he  saw her at the party.

The ins and outs

It took Alan a year to learn all the ins and outs of  his job.

line of work

The fireman said that injuries were common in his line  of work.

make do

 I forgot to buy groceries so I had to make do with  what was left in the fridge.

get sth off your chest

 A: Keith, there’s something I need to get off my  chest.

B: What’s bothering you? Tell me.

know sth like the back of your hand

Takeshi knows the streets of Kyoto like the back of  his hand.

in the bag

After scoring their fourth goal, the victory was in  the bag.

be on the ball

Greg isn’t on the ball today. He keeps making silly  mistakes.

 off and on / on and off

 Tara and Mike have been seeing each other off and on  for a year now.

for the time being

I plan to move into my own apartment in September. For  the time being, I’m staying with friend Doug.

burn your bridges

Jack tried to be kind to his boss when he quit in job  because he didn’t want to burn his bridges.

get/be given the sack / sack (verb)

Alan got the sack for repeatedly coming into work  late.

on the back burner

The project was put on the back burner while the  company focused on a more immediate problem.

get cold feet

It’s normal to get cold feet before your wedding day.

hit rock bottom

After being fired and then kicked out of his apartment,  Jake really hit rock bottom.

talk shop

Everyone agreed not to talk shop at the staff party.

start/get the ball rolling

It’s time we start the ball rolling on the new  project.

get your foot in the door

Janice took a position as an administrative assistant  to get her foot in the door at the famous fashion company.

well-off / well-to-do

Lloyd comes from a well-to-do family. His friends  often ask to borrow money from him.

pull your weight

Lisa had to work extra hard because a few members of  the team weren’t pulling their weight.

a gut feeling

I have a gut feeling that something bad is going to  happen today.

if need be

If need be, we can take a taxi home.

in the middle of nowhere

Their car broke down in the middle of nowhere.

go with the flow

Jake didn’t want to go to another bar, but everyone  else did, so he went with the flow.

play your cards right

If Linda plays her cards right, she could be the  department manager by next year.

follow in sb’s footsteps

Bill chose to follow in his father’s footsteps and  become a dentist.

have your heart set on sth

 Alan has his heart set on participating in the 2020  Olympics.

You can say that again!

A: I met your boss today. He’s a real jerk.

B: You can say that again!

 I’m all ears

A: Doug, I’ve discovered the meaning of life.

B: Really? I’m all ears.

 small talk

After some small talk, the interview began.

put sth on hold

Greg had to put his weekend plans on hold and go into  the office on Saturday for a few hours.

 common ground

The two boys had some common ground: they both loved  football.

 politically (in)correct

Marcel told a politically incorrect joke at the  company party. No one laughed.

 have had it up to here

“I’ve had it up to here with this mess! Clean your  room now!”

 have your work cut out

If we want to finish this by Friday, then we’ve really  got our work cut out for us.

 get the picture

 A: The fight was horrible. One man kept punching the  other again and again and again--

B: OK. That’s enough. I get the picture.

see eye to eye

Mike and his father don’t see eye to eye on the issue  of abortion.

 call it a day

It’s already 6 pm. Let’s call it a day.

twist sb’s arm

I really had to twist my sister’s arm to get her to  pick me up from the airport.

 bring sth to light

The report brought some previously unknown facts to  light about the causes of cancer.

 be in the dark / keep sb in the dark

Most of the employees were kept in the dark about the  merger until the last minute.

go up in smoke

After breaking his leg, Darryl’s dream to play  professional hockey went up in smoke.

 go downhill

After his wife divorced him, Victor’s life really went  downhill.

 at your fingertips

With the World Wide Web, people have a vast amount of  information at their fingertips.

poke fun at

The kids poked fun at George because he was wearing  his t-shirt backwards.

 Easier said than done.

A: You should get a girlfriend who’s beautiful AND  kind.  B: Easier said than done.

 the bottom line

A: Doctor, what’s the bottom line?  B: If you don’t quit smoking, you’ll die within a year.

 call the shots

The boss told Janet to call the shots while he was  away.

know/learn sth by heart

Hank knows every Elvis song by heart.

get a move on

If we don’t get a move on, we’ll miss the bus.

miss the point

“You missed the point. The book was about the problems  of capitalism, not how to make money.”

 hold/stand your ground

Although their enemy outnumbered them, the soldiers  stood their ground.

 be child’s play

The tennis match was child’s play for Ben.

be only a matter of time

The scientist said it’s only a matter of time before a  big earthquake hits California.

 push your luck

A: Dad, can I have another ice cream cone?

B: Don’t push your luck, kid.

 raise (a few) eyebrows

Francine’s short skirt raised a few eyebrows.

a matter of opinion

The best restaurant in Europe is, of course, a matter  of opinion.

 be that as it may

A: Tyler is such a selfish guy.

B: Be that as it may, he’s your brother. You have to  love him.

 if/when push comes to shove

If push comes to shove, I’ll be here to support you.

against your better judgement

Against his better judgement, Jim let his friend drive  home drunk.

 add insult to injury

To add insult to injury, Greg’s wife left him for his  best friend.

 the last straw

When the boss told me to come in to work on Saturday,  that was the last straw.

 be up in the air

Jim’s vacation plans were still up in the air.

not have the faintest/foggiest idea

I don’t have the faintest idea where Wollongong is.

the icing on the cake

Paula enjoyed the concert, and getting to meet the  artist backstage after the show was the icing on the cake.

get/jump/leap on the bandwagon

 Janet doesn’t normally watch hockey but she jumped on  the bandwagon because her city’s team was in the playoffs.

the fine/small print

My father reads the fine print on every contract he  signs.

stuck/be in a rut

The singer was stuck in a rut. All of her recent songs  sounded the same.

 run-of-the-mill

Kate is a waitress at a run-of-the-mill bar and  restaurant in London.

 face the music

Tina knew that one day her parents would see her  tattoo and then she’d have to face the music.

 to keep sth/sb at bay

 Bodyguards kept the reporters at bay while the movie  stars entered the theatre.

be up in arms

People were up in arms [about/over] the government’s  plan to raise the retirement age.

bite your tongue

Jack bit his tongue while his manager criticized his  performance.

leave a lot to be desired

The design of our office building leaves a lot to be  desired.

off the beaten track

Mike and Mary had dinner a quiet restaurant off the  beaten track in Paris.

pick sb’s brains

Mike is a marketing genius. People often invite him to  lunch or dinner so they can pick his brains.

whet your appetite

The 30-second trailer was designed to whet people’s appetites.  

sour grapes

A: People with nice cars just want attention.

B: That sounds like sour grapes because you can’t  afford one.

 a blessing in disguise

Losing his job turned out to be a blessing in  disguise. Afterwards, Roger found his dream job.

give sb the benefit of the doubt

I told the teacher that it wasn’t me who broke the  window. Thankfully, he gave me the benefit of the doubt.

jog sb’s memory

Jeff said he couldn’t remember the song’s lyrics, but  hearing the first few words jogged his memory.

foot the bill

George agreed to foot the bill for dinner.

have it in for sb

A: Why are you hiding from your brother?  B: He has it in for me. He knows I lost his football.

be in the red

The company has been in the red since September.

get/catch wind of sth

Once the school principal caught wind of the problem,  she called a teachers’ meeting.

a rule of thumb

As a rule of thumb, I don’t eat food that smells bad.

be on the same wavelength

The group members were all on the same wavelength, so  they were able to finish their project quickly.

up to speed

After her holiday, it took Kate a few hours to get  back up to speed on the recent developments in her company.

play devil’s advocate

Although Jim is against the death penalty, he told his  friend he was for it just to play devil’s advocate.

bend/lean over backwards

Lisa bent over backwards to get her brother a job in  her company, so she was surprised to learn he quit today.

pass the buck

The politician passed the buck onto someone else  instead of accepting responsibility for the problem.

call sb’s bluff

When Mike heard his friend say she knew all of the  world’s capitals, he called her bluff and asked her to name the capital of  Mozambique.

have a chip on your shoulder

 Tim has had a chip on his shoulder about businesswomen  since he lost his job to a woman three years ago.

breathe down sb’s neck

Jim found it hard to focus on his work with his boss  breathing down his neck.

climb to the top of the career/corporate ladder

Having children can be an obstacle for women who want  to climb (to the top of) the corporate ladder.

red tape

 Mark’s visa application was held up for six months  because of red tape.

Give sb free rein

When his father died, Mark was given free rein to do  whatever he liked with the family business.

the be-all-and-end-all

 Getting into Harvard Law School became the  be-all-and-end-all of Tony’s existence.

blow sth out of proportion

The media blew the story out of proportion.

take the plunge

Jerry has finally decided to take the plunge. Tomorrow  he’ll start looking for a full-time office job.

in a bind

Susan is really in a bind. She has two essays due  tomorrow and she hasn't started either of them.

break the ice

At the start of the meeting, Mike tried to break the  ice by telling a joke.

bury the hatchet

Susan and Mike agreed that it was time to bury the  hatchet. They apologized and decided to be friends.