#times like these make me wanna self harm but I keep strong still one of these days man I swear

[futuristicallyshadowyface]

Can't even tell these bitches not to drink they just "you're just mad because he isn't the way you want him to be!"

Wow, close! It's actually because I'm always the target.

[sc0rpi0suntaurusm00n]

Astro Observations

Venus Sign Obs Edition💫

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for 1k 🥹🫶🫶 here is an appreciation post 💖

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Aries Venus - these people are always doing it how they mean it or just active personality or they can have really strong values but open to new experiences. These natives are very open about how they feel about their relationships, they have a lot of passion for relations and friends, but it comes with a lot of issues being that they could have friends not reciprocate or people they love might not like them back in their younger years causing them to have low self worth. These natives have a big heart though! Aries is very big hearted but sometimes they don't act like it because they can be tough on those they care about but always to help them become better and they never mean true harm even when they try to be rude it usually just ends up funny or sassy to me (Aries mars too) 😭🤍

Taurus Venus - ooo LUV ❤ I am so biased lol as a Taurus moon because you guys are always super safe for me, like even the toxic ones can be super lovable ugh 😭 besides the toxic ones... The females are so kind and have some strong values/morals. Taurus Venus wants stable relationship with give and take and they want to have their partner to themselves and can become very jealous easily but don't like to admit it and they can be so shmexy about it like "I wanna leave a bite mark so everyone knows you are mine" ugh as scorpio Venus I eat that shiz up 😭💫💫

Gemini Venus - most likely to be besties before lovers, totally the most positive and funny in the room and so smart about random things. It's so much fun to hang out with these natives and they have a great sense of who they are and will take nothing less in relationships than what they deserve. They can have a lot of problems in the dating aspect because they are more comfortable with friends rather than being intimate and giving themselves fully to someone. Geminis and Gemini venuses can be quite open with their friends and people around them but with their loved ones closest to them it can be kind of hard for me to understand them because they can be a bit detached but it's for safety which I get and honestly I think they keep secrets just as good as ppl say Scorpios do, when they want to.

Cancer Venus - they get a lot of their values from their mothers. They have a lot of kind energy but sometimes they can be covert narcissists if aspecting asteroid narcissus or in the 12th house, because 12th house can make one have a hard time with boundaries in life. Cancer Venus is very kindhearted and want to care for their friends. However, they often seem great in the beginning but soon emotions become the forefront of the relationship often I see these placements being very sensitive people in close relationships and for me I just don't like that, sometimes it makes me feel like I have to walk on eggshells and I cannot speak my mind, but that is not Always the case for everyone and every cancer Venus if they have other good placements like earth placements to balance out emotions and grounded logic they can be very kindhearted and loyal and stable. In bed cancer Venus would want to get closer to the person and to create a nurturing environment definitely a cuddle buddy, the men might very comforting to their partner and protective which is just so heartwarming. Types to get turned on by cuddling literally. I love Cancer Venus peeps not super enjoyed as friends tho (8th house synastry😭) still tho ~🩵🩵🩵

Leo Venus - they are class clown guys or the baddie girlies, and they always have a pretty good sized friend group. Not necessarily famous but they have a lot of light and this can show up as getting a lot of attention from people. They are so IT ppl 💅 Always on trends and know how to dress UP 💃 these natives have a lot of passion for exploring and learning, always ready to go on an adventure with friends or family. They have a lot of fancy styles and elegance they dress to impress lol. (They also imo would be very good at dress to impress😭) Leo Venus in relationships want to be treated Right and nothing lessbut they have had low self esteem at some point in they're younger years but they grow into themselves later in life. Leo Venus in bed is passionate and looking to have fun, want to be praised or the opposite 🫣. . . Such loyal friends and family members, the types to give random gifts because they have a lot of nice things and might want to get rid of them and just gift to family and friends, really lovely souls and fun to be around.

Virgo Venus - most I have known were either really short or really tall no in between... They usually wear glasses if Venus/mercury is afflicted. Virgo Venus are very caring and they are very much the type to treat you as a patient whom they care about the health of same with 6th house Venus. Very concerned about the health of their loved ones and they want to take good care of them. Virgo Venus men in bed is always careful of your safety and wants to make sure you are comfortable and wants to know what you like/dislike and does so in a very attractive way. They are also very smart and/or smart looking people like dark academia aesthetic clothing. 🤍🫰also - of in good house - love for animals and care for them a lot

Libra Venus - these natives I have not seen in a good light and I have only met few, but I know that there are some lovely Libras out there somewhere - the ones I have known enjoy gossiping, mental stimulation, and often have a lot of conventional beauty. These people in some cases may be the type to run from arguments when less mature... In relationships they are really kind and compliment their loved ones a lot. Often they have pretty good skincare routines or they know a lot about make-up things, from my experience.

Scorpio Venus - these natives are super strong & powerful physically and/or emotionally. These natives in relationships are very loyal and passionate, might have issues with obsession in relationships and tend to like bad boys who are mysterious and this is usually what causes they're pain arc, and they end up staying by themselves especially if in the 12th house, so that they can rebuild and be more independent and learn about who they are. Scorpio Venus in bed are very maddening 🙈and intense, they may want connection and closeness with their partner sooner in the relationship rather than later. Scorpio Venus with friends are really loyal and sometimes may hold onto relationships a bit longer than necessary because they are comfortable even if it may be toxic... 👀

Sagittarius Venus - These natives are really fun, charismatic, and can often be jokesters. They do oftentimes like to party and have a wanderlust that cannot be beat. I see say men especially get a lot of flack for things like being flighty and having commitment issues and basically portray them as flirts and f boys which is so far from how I usually see it. From what I have seen, they are very outgoing and like to be friends with many, sometimes they are also the opposite too though, finding it hard to talk to ppl much, and sticking more to themselves... Either way, say venusians do in many cases think pretty highly of themselves though in my experience. Honestly they are, in my humble opinion, pretty fun and cool ppl. ❤️‍🔥

Capricorn Venus - often pretty serious but still fun and loyal ppl. They have a lot of sass sometimes in females and are girl bosses or they hold more traditional beliefs as males. The females I know are super strong and beautiful. As friends, they are giving with their time and energy with the relationships that they really care about. These natives are very hardworking or the opposite if afflicted. I don't know much about these natives because I know very few but I can say that they can be clingy when young, alao they often try to act mature sooner in turn some end up in relationships at a younger age, from what I have seen (male and female.)

Aquarius Venus - oh boy these natives are very different but they also are quite familiar to me, they have a need for a lot of mental stimulation and often they have like 2 really close ppl who they don't ghost but they often ghost ppl randomly and then come back like a few months later. Aqua Venus love to be sociable and have a lot of connections same with Venus 11th house, they are super fun and often come from a religious background but change their beliefs as they get older and have strong morals and values. They get really clingy with the ppl they love sometimes when younger and they can have rejection which causes them to be more detached and they end up being a bit flighty from one group to another, but overall when mature they are very interesting and smart ppl.

Pisces Venus - they're really kind and have a lot of love to give to the world, and are very artsy and have the ability to be very intelligent emotionally. Often Pisces Venus ppl are the kind of lover to paint for you or draw for you as a gift and love to just be freely very creative with their partners. Pisces Venus truly need to be protected they are very kind souls as long as they are kept away from the harmful things of the world in their homes. If they are not kept safe they may go down a bad path and those kinds of Pisces end up having insatiable loneliness which creates a perfect mentality for addiction. Pisces are amazing friends who can give great advice and they may often be the type to be friends with ppl who might hurt them or who they attempt to fix, or those who encourage their vices. Pisces ppl are super wise... and they love deeply when they fall for someone.

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『 Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed, please leave a comment if I missed anything ~~ 💓🤍💓 ~~ 』

© 2024 sc0rpi0suntaurusm00n

[blackdollette]

i wanna see plus size gf reader and euro. like one of his band mates r hanging out at a small get together (it's basically like an after party. so everyones high and/or drunk) and euros very much into pda when hes under the influence so he makes a little motion at his girlfriend for her to sit in his lap. and one of the guys is like "oo.. careful, euro. dont want her to break you." and euro can see she gets a little upset and moves back to her spot on the floor and euro is NOT having that. he isnt the most affectionate lover but he doesnt want her to ever feel bad about her having some extra cushion. so hes just like "you wouldn't know what to do with all that woman anyways, fucking virgin."

and if ur in a smutty mood maybe when they get home and he sees shes still upset he has her staring into the mirror and its pretty rare for him to do this.. but he eats her out and has her stare at her body in the mirror. and then when it hits the main course hes praising her body non stop. "fuck, baby. love the way your tits bounce like that" "yeah let that ass jiggle on me, slut" "thats a good fucking girl, nobody could handle these fucking thighs like i can" etc 🤭

yall are too good with there requests 😩

"the shape of my body." | euronymous

a&w. - lana del rey

female!reader x euronymous

word count: 1213

contents: bodyshaming, self harm (a little), oral (f receiving), p in v, unprotected sex

after his show, you and the rest of his band made your way to the den, getting ready for the afterparty of his biggest show yet. as soon as you arrived, the drinking and partying began. euronymous and his bandmates were drinking, smoking and having a good time, but you were just hanging out in a corner trying not to be seen.

he noticed this as he sat down on the couch, a beer bottle in his hand. you catch his stare as he looks you in the eyes from a far. then he gestures for you to come sit with him, or rather on him. you couldn’t help but smile as you made your way to him. you liked it when he was affectionate, and it seemed like you were going to get a lot of affection tonight.

you perched yourself on his lap, him instantly pulling you into him with a big smile on his face. then your heard laughter from two of his bandmates. you didn’t think anything of it until you saw one making a circular shape with his hands. it was happening again. one whispered something into the other ear, making him bark out a laugh.

then he walked up to euronymous, sitting on the couch beside him. he had an annyoing little smirk on his face. “careful there, big girl. you wouldn’t wanna break our guitarist’s lap, would you?” the rest of the members burst into laughter. you felt tears pricking your eyes as you slipped off of his lap and pulled your skirt over your thighs.

euronymous shot them all a glare so strong that it could sear off skin. “you’re saying that like you’ve ever felt the touch of a woman. other than your mother, that is. and even she won’t let you suck on her tits anymore.” the room went silent, apart from a few more laughs from a few other guys.

euronymous tried reaching out to touch you, but you pushed him away. you were silent for the rest of the night, keeping your head down and not looking up for even a second. you looked at your thighs, cursing every cell in your body for making you look this way. euronymous couldn’t help but look at you as your eyes filled with tears. he wanted to get you out of there.

so you and him walked out, driving back home. you didn’t say a single word the whole drive. one little comment had completely ruined the night for you, and all you wanted to do was disappear. you rushed into the washroom, turning on the tap to cover the sound of you crying. you undressed, looking at your body in the mirror.

you poked and pressed different parts of yourself, feeling more miserable by the second. you wondered why euronymous was even dating you anyway. you heard everything that his “friends” said behind his back about you, and it made your heart ache. you filled the bathtub with boiling hot water before getting in, wincing as the temperature made your skin burn.

after a long bath, you stepped out of the bathroom, your eyes red from crying for so long. you walked into the bedroom, meeting euronymous who was sat down on the edge of the bed. as you entered, he stood up and grabbed the towel that you were wrapped in, throwing it to the ground. you were about to protest when he suddenly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a much needed hug.

you felt your eyes welling up once again. you didn’t think he’d care this much about how much that comment had hurt you, but he surprised you everyday. then he pushed you to the bed, right by the mirror and made you lay down. you followed his order, not really knowing what to expect. then he spread your legs apart, seeing your little pussy right there.

you gasped quietly, the mood changing in an instant. he buried his face in between your legs as he started hungrily sucking on your clit, rubbing your thighs as they started to shake. your moans quickly became uncontrollable as he licked every inch of your sweet little pussy. he began tongue fucking you, reaching a hand up to start playing with your tits.

he moaned into your pussy as he sucked it, telling you how beautiful you were and how you were the only person he would ever truly love. he felt your pussy throbbing on his tongue, signalling your climax. he inserted two fingers, quickly moving them in and out of your tight hole. you screamed as the pleasure in your body grew.

you saw him moving his hips a little, trying to get some movement against his painfully hard cock. you started gripping the bedsheets as he sucked on every single part of your pussy. you put your hand in his hair as you came all over is tongue. he licked up every last drop of it, wiping his mouth after and smiling at you.

he pulled you off of the bed as he laid down, taking your place. he unbuckled his belt and pulled out his aching cock. you already got the message. you crawled on top of him, your legs on either side of his. he grabbed your hips and lowered you onto his cock, feeling your tight walls clenching around him.

a long groan emerged from him as you started moving up and down. he sat up, not being able to resist seeing your beautiful tits bouncing in front of him like that. he took one in his mouth, sucking on it like his life depended on it. “such perfect tits, baby… so fucking pretty…” he used his other hand to pinch your nipple, making you squirm.

your eyes filled with tears as you felt yourself reaching a second orgasm. you felt his cock throbbing inside of you. it was taking all his willpower not to cum right there. then he pulled out of you for a moment, needing to catch his breath. he gave you a soft kiss before speaking in a breathless voice. “turn around for me, baby. wanna watch that ass bounce on my cock.”

you spun around and started riding him in reverse cowgirl, and his noises quickly filled the room. his hand grabbed your ass as it moved on him. the sight was irresistible to him and he couldn’t old back any longer. “just wanna cum all over your perfect ass…” he started pushing his hips into you, wanting to make you cum once more before he did.

you threw your head back as you felt an orgasm nearing once again. your milky liquid flooded down his cock, the sound of your wetness becoming louder and louder. he quickly pulled out of you and stroked himself quickly, cumming all over your ass with a low groan. he painted you with his cum, loving the piece of artwork that was in front of him.

he watched as your pussy dripped with your cum. he turned you back around and pulled you onto him, capturing you in a long kiss. then he looked deep into your eyes, looking kind for the first time in his life. “you’re perfect, darling. absolutely beautiful.”

author's note: i didnt mean for this to be so long, but i rlly loved writing it :)) im literally shaking i cant believe im starting university tomorrow :(( wish me luck, yall!

[idle-daydreams]

Uhm, can I request a story of Yandere Demon King Chuuya X Reader. The reader had mental health issues like she was always wanting to die. The illness got worse when he was kidnapped by Chuuya. She tried to kill herself multiple times but Chuuya managed to save her. Maybe now, she was restrained in bed and Chuuya said that she needed bed rest but she knows he was lying. Also she is a crybaby.

Tw: Self harm, kidnapping, mentions of suicide

Chuuya gazed at you, at your red-rimmed eyes as you tried to get comfortable while chained to the bed. The spell he’d cast was taking its toll on you, making you drowsy, but consciously or subconsciously, you were still fighting it.

Even in your miserable state, he still found you beautiful. Desperately, dangerously, so. It disgusted him just how much your vulnerability turned him on, and yet he couldn’t help himself. He wanted you, he wanted you in his arms, he wanted to hold you and hug you and tell it you it was all going to be all right.

“Everything is fine,” he said thickly. “Just rest for a little while.”

“Please let me go,” you said. “Please, I promise I won’t try to hurt myself again. I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but I don’t like it.”

“I know,” he lied. “I know you won’t hurt yourself. But you really need to rest.”

It was laughable, really. Utterly pathetic for a being as strong as him. You were a human, as delicate as a gossamer web, as fragile as spun glass, as soft and weak and inconsequential as the dew at dawn. It shouldn’t have been this hard to keep you safe and happy. And yet he couldn’t. He was a demon, one the strongest demons in Japan; he could fight armies without breaking a sweat, lay ruin to entire cities if he wanted to. But he didn’t know how to protect you from yourself, didn’t know how to fight the demons living in your head.

And looking at you, at the marks littering your arms and legs, it hurt.

You’d started crying, sobbing softly to yourself again. Chuuya sighed and moved towards you, only for you to flinch violently and try to pull away. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I’m sorry, [Y/N], for everything. But I promise you’re safe with me. You know who I am? I’m the Shutendoji. I promise you, I’ll keep you safe.”

You didn’t answer, only looked at him with those wide eyes glimmering with tears. Wet with tears, but with a spark of curiosity within.

“Listen to me, [Y/N],” he said. “You’re gonna have to live now, all right? I don’t care what kind of lifestyle you want, what you wanna do, where you wanna go. I’ll give it all to you, so long as you live. You can’t hurt yourself again, okay? I won’t have it.”

You blinked and gave a shaky nod. He could see the questions dancing at the tip of your tongue, confusion and even a smidgen of fear in your eyes. Good. It meant that you were still there, that there was still some spark in you.

It was going to take some time, but he was going to bring you back from the edge. He didn’t know what he would have to do, who he would have to hurt, but he was going to make you happy. Planting a gentle kiss to the top of your head, Chuuya laughed softly as you trembled.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Just don’t hurt yourself. I promise you, everything will be all right.”

[softxsuki]

hi!! id like to make an urgent request please :)

tw !! mention of self harm / new sh wounds , mention of a blade

if you’re alright with it, id like to request a (romantic) hawks x gn!reader where hawks walks in on reader relapsing.

ive recently grown more and more stressed and tired lately, like my energy is constantly being drained and no matter how hard i try im not enough to stop it. and i wanna reach out for help cause i know i have friends who care about me but i just cant for some reason—i dont feel the need to ask for help cause i just dont think i deserve it. no matter how many times ill comfort others i was never strong enough to ask for the same comfort, and instead of going to someone and talking about it i turn to my blade.

hawks is a big comfort character of mine and my current hyperfix, and as embarassing as it is—reading comfort fanfics of him is a way of coping with it all. so id gladly appreciate if you could write this for me :) ++ if possible, id love if youd be able to include hawks cleaning reader’s cuts, cleaning them bringd me a sense of comfort and id love to see that in the fic.

but if you’re uncomfy about anything at all, no worries ! you dont have to write this if you dont wanna :) have a lovely day<3

Hawks Comforting Reader After They Self-Harm

please do not read if any kind of mentions of self-harm will do you more harm than good!

Pairing: Hawks x Gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of self harm, blade, blood, scars

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Drabble

Word Count: 750

Summary: In which your BF Hawks catches you self harming and cleans up your fresh cuts

[A/N: Hey hey, so sorry for taking so long to write this, I know it was urgent. I just happened to get sick randomly and couldn't focus to write. But I finally got this done for you! I hope you're still around to read it </3. Hopefully it provides you with some comfort. Always go to others for help before taking matters into your own hands. Even if you feel like you can't, I'm sure the people in your life would love to help you out <3 I'm here too if you ever need anything! Enjoy!]

You look back and forth between the bloody mess in front of you to the panicked face of Keigo who had walked in on you. 

He was supposed to be gone for the whole day, patrolling his designated area until later that evening. Who knew he’d stop by to check in on you, hoping to have lunch together before continuing his patrol duties. Yet, coming home to you hovering over the bathroom sink with blood dripping from your delicate skin was not what he expected at all.

Of course he knew about your history with self-harm and could very clearly see all your past scars on your body, but he never expected to see you actively harm yourself in front of him. 

“Y/N…” He starts cautiously, eyeing the blade in your hands as you shake with regret.

“I’m sorry,” you cry, dropping the blade in the sink and moving your bleeding wrists away from his view, but he quickly closes the space between you.

Gentle hands grab your own and inspect the damage done. He rolls up the sleeves of his hero suit and gets to work on cleaning you up. With a clean towel he dabs the blood away, applying slight pressure to help stop the bleeding a little, whispering an apology whenever you flinch from the pain. 

He’s silent; contemplating how he let it get this far. He was a hero for crying out loud and the one person he wanted to keep safe the most out of everyone else in the world, managed to get harmed while he was away. He was angry and frustrated at himself that he couldn’t prevent the fresh cuts on your arms. All those nights he kissed your scars and whispered sweet promises of love and protection were all for nothing. Why couldn’t he be more useful to you?

“Keigo, I didn’t mea-” you start, but he quickly cuts you off as he finishes applying the bandage wrap to your wrist.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I should have known something was off, I should have paid more attention and been around to help instead of being out. I’m sorry.”

He presses kisses to your bandaged wrist, just wishing that he could have the magical healing power that Recovery Girl’s kisses had. He wished he could kiss all your pain away and face it all himself in your stead. 

“No, no, this is all on me. You’re always there for me, telling me how much you love me and trying your best to encourage me and lift me up, but I always hold back,” you confess, snatching your arms away from him in guilt, “You’re so busy as it is saving everyone. I don’t want to add to your burdens with my own problems as well. I thought I could deal with it all alone, but I failed. I turned back to my blade because it was too much to bear on my own.”

He sighs, and this time brings you into his arms in an embrace, “That’s because we’re not meant to go through these things alone, babe. Even as a hero I don’t do things on my own either. I have a whole agency backing me up along with my other fellow heroes. No one can accomplish anything on their own without hurting themselves. So please let me be there for you to help you as much as you’ve helped me.”

Silent sobs escape your lips as he continues to hold you and speak.

“All those days when you held me after I failed to save someone. All those nights you patched me up after a mission and I stubbornly refused to go to a hospital; let me be there for you for all your tough times as well. Let me be the one to gather you up again and listen to all your worries, don’t fight your battles alone anymore. I promise you’re not a bother to me at all. I want to be there for you. It’s my job,” he reassures you. 

“All right,” you sniffle, finally wrapping your own arms around him, accepting his comfort.

He calls the agency afterwards, letting them know that he can’t come in for the rest of the day and instead spends his time with you. Listening intently to everything that’s been bubbling up in your heart, right by your side, wiping your tears away and giving you his unconditional support and love. He’s definitely making sure you don’t deal with things on your own anymore :)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted 3/5/2023

[catscidr]

natural remedy

cw: written in the third person, childe being slightly obsessive and weird, fluff and comfort to an extent. allusions to previous self-harm but nothing graphic, nonsexual intimacy  includes: gn!reader, childe  wc: 2,7k a/n: i wrote this a couple of months ago when i was sick and delirious and was just craving a strong russian bf (childe) to take care of me(༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ) ssoooo if this reads weird it's because i couldn't rly process my own thoughts when i wrote it out LOL. i fixed it up as best as i could but i dont wanna spend my time rewriting 5 whole pages...... posting this and then going through my inbox and Not answering asks in third person

Equipped with a backpack full of various sized logs, some berries he had managed to scavenge and a dead hare that he held by the scruff of its neck, the young man tossed his blade away, the weapon dissipating in the air as mist. Though the wind nipped at the small bits of skin he left exposed through his winter garbs, it was still enough to leave him shivering- even if he was used to the harsh winters of his homeland. The redhead had the misfortune to get caught in a scuffle with a wandering man and, though he usually reveled in any opportunity to get his hands bloody, this time he couldn’t allow himself to enjoy the bloodshed.  

With his breath creating small clouds of air in front of his face and droplets of blood drying on his coat, Tartaglia had only one thing on his mind; to get back to the cabin as soon as he could. The sun was setting at a rapid pace- he looked up at the beautiful, hazy orange and pink sky and scoffed. He was still about half a mile away from the secluded cabin. He couldn’t spare any more time away from it and, with a determined scowl, picked up the pace of his strides. 

Murmuring under his breath, the young man keeps on trudging through the thick snow as light began to grow sparser. All he could see was snow, dead trees and old, dried blood on top of the crystal white sheet covering the ground. Tartaglia readjusts the backpack on his back, making the straps around his torso tighter and continues his journey with an empty, quiet mind. Usually, he would walk the other way and seek out some more poor souls to fight in the tundra forest and even hunt for some more animals to bring back to his abode like a trophy, but the knowledge that his beloved was alone, ill and hungry wouldn’t let him rest and enjoy the joys of his crazed mind for even a moment. 

He leaves a trail of prickles of blood behind him as he walks sluggishly through the snow. It would soon be covered by even more snow, as the snowstorm went on. Clutching onto the dead hare tightly, Tartaglia holds back the urge to mutilate the animal out of anger. Or was it frustration, or even maybe desperation? Bitterness?  

No, nothing of the sort. All Tartaglia felt was a mix of disheartenment, defeat, and in some way even failure. It had been three days and his beloved’s physical state wasn’t getting any better- what was there left to do? He tried all of his mother’s home remedies that he remembered and yet they would stay bedridden, struggling to even lift their spoon up to their face to drink the warm, soothing broth. He felt powerless, like all there was left to do was to watch them wither away. It felt like the forest was closing in on him, the trees seeming taller and thicker the more he made his way through the storm. He shuddered, a shaky sigh leaving his chapped lips.  

With a trembling hand he lifted his red scarf high enough to cover his nose, and tried to focus on getting home. 

✧✧✧ 

“I’m back!” he shouts as soon as he opens the door of the cabin, doorknob hitting the wall roughly from the harsh winds whipping into the abode. Using his foot, he swiftly closes it and takes off his thick hat, soft snow falling on the wooden floorboards of the entrance. After a few moments of tinkering with the straps of the backpack, it drops to the floor with a thud and Tartaglia takes off his large boots, tossing them aside. He heads into the small kitchen area, placing the- now practically frozen- dead hare on the counter and then heads into the doorway, grabbing the backpack with a huff. 

“Darling?” Tartaglia calls out, glancing at the closed door at the end of the hallway. He pauses, awaiting an answer. A million thoughts were floating in his head- was his beloved alright? Did they try to get out of bed and accidentally hit their head? They were most likely just asleep... but what if they got out and he didn’t notice because their footprints got covered by the snowfall? Were they stuck outside, cold and hungry, slowly dying as life faded from their frail body- 

“Welcome back,” he hears a quiet voice say after a few seconds, right when he was about to shout again and make a beeline for the bedroom. Sighing from relief, the ginger runs a hand through his hair and grabs a handful of logs from the backpack and tosses them near the fireplace to fuel later. 

He opens the bedroom door softly, peeking in at first before opening it fully, revealing the huddled form of his beloved in the blankets of their shared bed. 

“How are you feeling?” the ginger asks softly, crouching to their level to brush away a few strands of hair that had fallen over their forehead. They groan, shifting to uncover their mouth from the large duvet- even just a motion as small and insignificant as moving their head was strenuous. 

“Gross,” they say, voice hoarse. Tartaglia frowns but doesn’t move from his crouched position as he takes off one of his gloves, placing the back of his hand on their forehead. His brows furrow, displeasure clear on his face. 

“You’re still burning up,” the ginger murmurs back. “And you’re sweating now. Have you taken your medication?” he asks. 

He had been gone since early in the morning, having left to gather materials to sustain them for a bit longer while they both recuperated in the cabin. Although he wasn’t gone too long, Tartaglia had developed a habit of being overly protective of his beloved in the past few weeks. If they weren’t going to take care of themselves then he would do it for them- the fact that they got sick only further drove him to being as overbearing as he was now, so he wasn’t in the wrong for it. 

“I’m too tired,” they slur, whining as they bury their face in the plush blanket once more. The fabric touching them made their skin crawl but as the uncomfortable feeling passed, they sighed contentedly. 

Tartaglia clicks his tongue, displeased that they were being so uncooperative. But that wasn’t exactly unexpected- so he stands up and holds onto the corner of the blanket coddling the body in the bed below him and rips it off harshly. A startled whimper leaves their lips, and they immediately curl into themselves to preserve their (unregulated) body heat. 

“You need to shower,” the ginger says with an unreadable gaze, his cerulean eyes scanning his darling’s body like a security camera would an intruder. “You sweat through the bed sheets and your shirt is sticking to your skin. Have you even gotten out of the room since I left?” he asks with a tilt of his head, seemingly not paying attention to the way his darling shivered and squirmed. They respond with a meek shake of their head, face buried in the pillow as they quiver uncomfortably because of how cold the air is in the cabin. The man says nothing in response, instead deciding to toss the duvet to the edge of the bed as he slips his arms beneath his lover’s shivering form, picking them up off the bed. 

“It's good that you’re sweating your sickness away, but you still need to be clean.” he says tenderly, bringing them to the bathroom in a bridal carry. They tuck their face into the crook of Tartaglia’s neck, desperately trying to regulate their body heat- to no avail. The movement of the redhead walking was enough to bring his darling discomfort, making their skin tingle unpleasantly. Dazed and lightheaded, they don’t notice him shutting the door with his foot as he steps through the threshold of the bathroom. 

Tartaglia carefully sets them down on the edge of the sink’s counter, his hands lingering against their skin for a moment. 

“Strip. Your cold is gonna get worse if you stay in those sweaty clothes,” he says, bringing one hand up to stroke their hair. With a huff, they shake their head slowly, eyes cast downwards. Tartaglia frowns, sliding the hand that was in their hair down to their chin to lift their head up. The movement makes them grunt in discomfort, skin prickling unpleasantly. He sighs, heart clenching at the sight of his beloved in such a sorry state. 

“I’ll run a bath for you, it’ll be nice and warm. You’ll feel much better when you get out, so just cooperate for me, yeah?” he says softly, though his brows crease in frustration that only ignited within him because he was just so worried for them. Reluctantly, they give in and nod, earning a kiss on the cheek from Tartaglia. He smiles, soft lips lingering on their skin for a second too long before turning around, crouching to turn on the bath’s tap.  

The sound echoes in the bathroom, loud and overwhelming for the poor sick individual, shaky hands coming up to cover their ears. Tartaglia, still focused on trying to get the bath to be warm enough to be comforting but not too much that it’ll burn his lover, stays oblivious to the distress they were silently enduring.  

When finally satisfied, he swivels around to pay attention to his darling, his calloused hands coming up to take their smaller ones away from their ears. “C’mon,” he murmured. “I’ll help you out of your clothes.” 

Too weak to argue they simply nod, raising their arms as best as they could while Tartaglia grabs the hem of their shirt and lifts it up over their head. The fabric catches onto their arms, inducing in a sharp hiss from the sick individual, and Tartaglia mumbles a soft apology as he frees them from their sweaty top. The redhead notices them shivering ever so slightly; he wraps an arm around their shoulder, gently bringing them down off the counter to slip their shorts off. 

“Step out of them for me,” he says quietly. Taking a wobbly step, they do just that while holding onto Tartaglia for support. He smiles, satisfied, and carefully guides them to the bath. 

“I’m going to take off your underwear now, that alright?” Tartaglia asks for courtesy’s sake, holding their hand tenderly. They squeak out a quiet yeah and, without wanting to keep them out of the comfort of the bath, he rids them of their undergarments and helps them into the warm water as quickly as he can without putting too much strain on their body. 

Now sat in the small porcelain tub, his beloved sighs contentedly, head leaning back to relax the strain on their weak muscles, comforting warmth engulfing their tired body. Tartaglia smiles at the sight; he quietly gets up to grab a wash rag and a bar of soap to help get his darling clean. Sitting on the floor next to the bath, he gazes at his lover’s closed eyes, love pouring out of his being. A few minutes pass of this- of Tartaglia carefully observing the peaceful expression on their face- before he speaks up again. 

“Sit up, I’m going to start washing you now.” he says sternly, voice laced with concern. They shake their head stubbornly, too comfortable to move. “Baby...” he drawls, raising a brow at the attitude. “C’mon. Work with me here? Please?” he asks, lip jutting out in a pout as he watches his dear begrudgingly sit up, wincing at their muscles working overtime to do so. He smiles at that and gets the rag wet, lathering it with soap. “Thank you,” he murmurs softly, massaging their shoulders, suds beginning to form on their arm. 

The redhead brings the rag down, down until he reaches their forearm which, thankfully, was out of the water without him having to ask. He sighs quietly, carefully running the washrag over the textured skin, thumb brushing over it in soothing motions. 

“Feeling better?” he asks, peeling his eyes away from their arm back to their face. His eyes meet theirs, and he notices an almost disconnected expression on his lover’s face. But they nod slowly, exhaustion clear on their face though still lucid and aware enough of their surroundings. His smile falters slightly at their tired face, his hand coming down to hold theirs. Tartaglia rubs his thumb along their skin, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to their temple. 

“That’s good,” he murmurs. “Can you turn around for me? I need to wash your other side,” he asks gently. Without answering verbally, they do as he asks and painstakingly turn their body, water sloshing lightly in the bathtub. The sight almost reminded Tartaglia of a newborn deer wobbling over constantly, except this time his darling was the doe. Grabbing the washcloth again, he scrubs away at their skin to get them clean and comfortable again, cloth washing away the bad bacteria. He carefully scrubs their chest, not letting his hands linger for longer than they need to. 

“All done with your upper body. Could you sit on the edge of the bath, sweetheart?” Tartaglia asks just as patiently as before. 

He scrubs their lower body clean, mindful of where he touched as he finally got their body clean of sweat. 

“All clean, baby. Want to wash your hair too?” he asks gently, his hand lightly pushing any hair that had fallen over his beloved’s forehead. They lean into his touch, brows furrowing ever so slightly. 

“No,” they respond quietly. “Can I just go back to bed?” they ask meekly, voice hoarse. Tartaglia disapproves but doesn’t argue, understanding how draining it must have been to take a bath. He leaves their side to grab a plush towel, helping them up as he wraps it around their tired body. A sigh escapes their lips as their arms hold onto the towel as best as they could to preserve warmth. Tartaglia chuckles at the cute sight, patting their head fondly. 

“You can stand now, that’s good. Let’s go to the bedroom and I’ll help you get dressed, then you can sleep some more.” he says, wrapping an arm around their shoulders to help them walk should the need arise. Thankfully, they both make it to the bedroom in one piece, however Tartaglia’s beloved almost collapses on the bed, strength leaving them from walking and straining their tired muscles. Tartaglia helps them sit down, pulling the towel away as he dries them properly. 

He comes back shortly after, holding a pair of underwear and one of his tee shirts. “Lift up your arms,” he says gently, pulling the shirt over their head, a shudder wracking their body as they feel the texture of the fabric brush against their bare skin. He pays no mind to it, instead helping them put on their underwear as casually and quickly as he could. When that’s done, he tosses the towel to the side and places his hands on their arms, looking down at his lover with a tender gaze. 

Tartaglia doesn’t speak for a while, lost in his thoughts. 

“Sure you don’t want to eat something? You must be hungry,” he says, trying to subtly persuade them to eat. They shake their head, declining, and he has to hold back the urge to sigh. He was just so damn worried- why couldn’t they let him do this for them? But he shakes those thoughts away, focusing on making them comfortable. 

His beloved lays down on the bed with a quiet oof, curling in on themselves to warm themselves up. Tartaglia notices and quickly lays down in front of them, manhandling them just enough to move their position so he can hold them on the side while still able to look at them. They curl themselves against him, nuzzling themselves under his neck for warmth. He chuckles, light and airy, before pulling the sheets up over their body and tangling his legs with theirs, bringing his free hand down to caress their arm. Slowly and carefully, the redhead brings their inner wrist up to his face, kissing it softly. He hums, content, and closes his eyes. 

“Goodnight love,” he says quietly, lowering their arm to a comfortable position between them and leaning forward to kiss their forehead gently as they both drift off. 

[ga-yuu]

----Part 1----

Sueharu: "Let's make a deal, Yoshino."

Yoshino: "Sueharu..."

He quickly closed the distance between him and me and placed his large palm on my cheek.

That alone makes my heart beat faster.

Sueharu: "You and I will be very good friends while we are in this temple. During this time, let's not harm each other...how about that?"

(Well...)

Yoshino: "Does that mean Sueharu-san doesn't want to cause a disturbance in the presence of children....?"

Sueharu: "You can think like that if you want."

Yoshino: "......Okay."

After thinking for a moment, I slowly nodded.

Yoshino: "I accept your deal."

(Morinaga-san won't come for me until evening and even if something happens, I can't resist Sueharu-san on my own)

(So it's best to accept the deal)

And the look on Sueharu-san's face just now was something that completely changed my impression about him.

(Even if he still remains a dangerous black merchant...)

(I should know more about Sueharu-san, who is going to be my enemy)

Sueharu: "Even so, you must had your hands full just defending yourself on the battlefield."

Sueharu: "You're such a softie."

Yoshino: "....I know I'm naive to want to help orphans when I'm indebted to the Shogunate."

(But I still couldn't let go of his hand)

Sueharu: "I get it. Still..."

Yoshino: "Eh..."

There was no sound of mockery in Sueharu-san's tone.

Sueharu:"If you can risk your life to be good-natured, then it's a kind belief."

Sueharu: "If you saved one child's life, as you hoped, then it was a worthwhile act."

(He's acknowledging me...)

I blinked in surprised.

Yoshino: "I didn't realize that Sueharu-san is into charity work. To be honest, I was surprised."

Sueharu: "I hate looking at dirty, miserable children. Just looking at them makes me wanna puke."

Though I frown at his harsh words.

Sueharu-san's eyes weren't smiling.

When I saw this, I bite back the objection that was about to come out from my mouth.

Sueharu: "They have no power to win. They don't even know where tomorrow's meal would come from. All they can do is look up at the sky while laying on the cold ground."

----Part 2----

Sueharu: "They have no power to win. They don't even know where tomorrow's meal would come from. All they can do is look up at the sky while laying on the cold ground."

Sueharu: "So as soon as I find them, I keep them close and feed them until they are better."

Yoshino: ".....Why are you saying it like that?"

Sueharu: "Just accept what I say."

Sueharu: "If you think I'm acting on good faith, you're mistaken."

Sueharu: "Saving these children, you can see, doesn't change anything in this world. It's just self-satisfaction."

(What Sueharu-san is saying is frustratingly right, but...)

Yoshino: "Still, I respect Sueharu-san."

Sueharu: "Ha?"

Yoshino: "No matter how great the cause, there will always be tragedy"

Yoshino: "I didn't know about it until I stood on the battlefield. I was ashamed of my ignorance."

Lying and embellishing yourself won't work with Sueharu-san anyway.

So I thought I'd take this opportunity to express my true feelings to my best of the ability.

Yoshino: "It's not superficial kindness or comfort that saves tragedy, but concrete action."

Sueharu: "What are you..."

I took a step forward towards Sueharu-san who was frowning.

Yoshino: "Sueharu-san is taking action and helping orphans on his own."

Yoshino: "To be as strong as you are..."

Yoshino: "It isn't enough to do nothing and hope that my friends would 'believe' in me."

Sueharu: "............"

Yoshino: "So, can you tell me about yourself?"

Sueharu: "What's in it for me?"

I said this as if I were challenging him, and without a pause, Sueharu-san replied.

Sueharu: "A merchant is a being that needs profit to operate."

Yoshino: "Really?"

Yoshino: "But I still couldn't see any merchant-like benefit in Sueharu-san's actions in saving the children."

Sueharu: "I knew you'd say that. Why did you have to see this..."

----Part 3----

Yoshino: "But I still couldn't see any merchant-like benefit in Sueharu-san's actions in saving the children."

Sueharu: "I knew you'd say that. Why did you have to see this..."

After letting out a sigh....

Sueharu-san lifted one end of his lip.

Sueharu: "Then how about this?"

Sueharu: "I'll tell you one thing, anything about me, if you give me a kiss."

Yoshino: "....T-That's...."

I can't do that.....I think.

(Sueharu-san is trying to make me do things that I can't do)

(But leaving this place without getting any info is...)

(Or should I just simply wait only for my position in the Shogunate to deteriorate?)

If I report to everyone in the Shogunate, they will be ask for a detailed info.

At that time, I would like to have even the slightest material to make my claim that I met Sueharu-san by chance more convincing.

(Besides I want to become strong enough to outwit Sueharu-san in the future)

(For this reason, I should know what kind of person Sueharu-san is, no matter how trivial it may seem)

After hesitating, I came up with a decision.

What I am about to do, is going to look wrong...

(But still)

I took a step forward and put my arms around his neck and pulled him closer...

Sueharu: "....Mm..."

While on my tip toes, I gently placed my lips on his.

Sueharu: "..........."

The kiss was just a gentle peck successfully dispelling Sueharu-san's prediction.

(My cheeks feel hot)

Even though, I was burning with shame, I kept looking into Sueharu-san's eyes...

Then I took out a towel from my sleeve and wiped my lips gently.

Sueharu: "Yoshino."

Yoshino: *blushing* "W-What...?"

The tone of his voice that called me, sounded lecherous that it made my heart skip a beat.

Sueharu: "It's the first time, I've ever been treated so coldly by a girl who kissed me."

Yoshino: "....Well..there is a first time for everything. I guess."

A dangerous fire flickered in his one eye.

He then lets out a low chuckle.

Sueharu: "This is lot more exciting than I thought."

Yoshino: "Hm....?"

When I instinctively sensed danger, I stepped back but----

Sueharu-san silently approached me like a cat cornering its prey.,,

Sueharu: "Being unexpected is a sign that you're interesting. I'm starting to like you a lot."

----Options-----

I don't like it.

It's too late to realise.

Please stop joking.

-------

Yoshino: "....Don't you know? All good women are unexpected. You're too late to realize that."

Sueharu: "Did you also know? Lovely pursuit like this also stirs a man's heart?"

Sueharu: "Let's sit down and talk. That's would be great."

-----Part 4----

Sueharu: "Let's sit down and talk. That's would be great."

Sueharu-san sat down as if nothing happened and gestured me to sit next to him.

I sat down cautiously as well.

Sueharu: "Still, I thought you were the kind of girl who wasn't someone that would sell herself cheaply."

(You're talking about the kiss, right?)

Yoshino: "I didn't mean to be under-estimated."

Yoshino: "I did it because I thought it was the price I needed to pay for my growth."

Yoshino: "My lips are valuable to me, but I'm sure they are not to Sueharu-san."

Yoshino: "If Sueharu-san loses money on this deal, I win."

Sueharu: "That's right. It will be my loss."

Sueharu: "But remember, I hate losing more than dying."

Sueharu: "I will definitely repay you for this."

(I don't regret my decision though....)

(As long as I've made Sueharu-san take me seriously...)

My heart was pounding as if I had a premonition of something bad going to happen soon.

I didn't know why there was a sweet atmosphere and I look down feeling embarrassed.

Sueharu: "So what do you wanna know?"

(What questions can I ask to get a person open his heart?)

Yoshino: "Earlier you said that, you hate looking at dirty and miserable children."

Yoshino: "If that's true, why?"

Sueharu: "..........."

Sueharu: "When I was kid, I was always hungry."

(Eh?)

My eyes widened when I hear his quiet voice.

Sueharu: "I've been alone for as long as I can remember."

Sueharu: "I have been told by adults around me that my parents died in a war, so probably its true."

Yoshino: "So Sueharu-san....was an orphan..."

(I cannot imagine that this is the past of Sueharu-san, a very rich black merchant)

He nods.

Sueharu: "But now, I have rose to the top and can buy anything with money."

----Part 5----

Sueharu: "Still."

I was captivated by Sueharu's single glowing eye and I gasped.

Sueharu: "When I see the crying face of an unhappy kid, I get so angry."

Sueharu: "Sympathy is not a noble emotion. It just makes it even more unforgivable."

Sueharu: "It will just make me want to mess of everything up."

(Maybe it's because you're reminded of your old self....)

Sueharu: "But such an unsightly imitation doesn't suit me now, does it? That's why."

The words stop there.

In Sueharu-san's place, I quietly spoke.

Yoshino: "....That's why you're saving orphans and giving them a future where they don't have to cry."

Sueharu: "What a boring story."

Yoshino: "That's not true!"

I denied it in a strong tone.

Sueharu: "...Yoshino."

Yoshino: "Thank you....for sharing such an important story."

Sueharu: "You're strange. Talking to you feels nice."

(What do you mean....?)

When I was curiously looking at him----

Sueharu: "By the way."

Sueharu-san returned to his aloof demeanor.

Sueharu: "How are you going to explain this to your Shogunate friends, about us meeting again like this?"

Sueharu: "I, of all the people, knows best that you are not informing the Shogunate."

Sueharu: "It's too good to be a coincidence, and just reporting that you met me, only heightens suspicions on you. You poor thing."

Yoshino: "I know that...."

I was a little frightened, because his words hit me where it hurt the most.

Sueharu-san stares at me intently waiting for an answer.

Then playfully, he extended his hand...

Sueharu: "Yoshino."

(Ah...)

His long fingers starts to twirl with my hair.

Then a kiss was dropped and my shoulders tremble.

Sueharu: "Do you want to keep what happened today between us?"

Playboy's trick - Premium Story

[rxadkills]

regarding wilbur. (TW: sh, suicide, abuse)

it was all fucking fake.

the personality. the stage persona. the want to support his friends. it was all an act.

it was all some sick, fucking act to hide the fact that wilbur is actually just an fucking lunatic and shitstain excuse for a human who deserves to be locked up and put somewhere way deeper than hell. he never gave a flying fuck about shelby or anyone, just himself.

they had a fucking safeword, and yet this fuckwit weaponized it and BRAGGED about biting her so hard that it made her bruise.

not only that, but he only feels bad now that he got caught, and wrote some half-assed chat gpt "apology" where he doesn't even apologize. a better term for it would be "lame ass excuses for why i put Shelby and so many others through horrible shit."

more of a personal take on this, but literally almost every aspect of my life has been somewhat affected by him before this. he kept me from k*lling myself and he helped me through the worst time of my life when i was dealing with severe self harm. but now even the thought of his name makes me want to throw up.

and hell, i am in NO place to talk. i didn't even know the bastard, so i can only imagine how everyone who had the displeasure of knowing him feels. my heart goes out to shelby, tommy, philza, techno, quackity, leandra, zoe, charlie, tubbo, aimsey, billzo, ranboo, and everyone else who had to put up with wilbur's creepy fucking behavior for way too long.

if you still support that wretched fucking psychopathic god awful manwhore, get the FUCK off my page. you are not welcome here and never will be.

if you're hurt over this shit, you have every right to be. i know most of ya'll loved him. i did too. he was one of the few people i could look to for some kind of comfort. but now, our main priority is making sure this fucking bastard isn't given the fame and support he once leeched off of us for.

however, i would just like to say do NOT dox or threaten wilbur. sure, he's a fucking pathetic piece of shit, but doxxing and threatening to kill him make you no better than him.

shelby probably will not see this post, but i just wanna say i am so proud of you. i was a victim of abuse for some time and it's one of the hardest fucking things to open up about. you are so brave and strong for finally bringing this up and we all are by your side during this. we love you /p, keep your chin up so your crown doesn't fall :)

and to wilbur. william patrick spencer gold. fuck you. you've been putting on this fake ass little persona of being a sweet, caring person for way too long. we don't want anything to do with you anymore. if i were you, i would get your pathetic bitch ass off the internet and never come back.

sure, people can change. if you do manage to better yourself, good for you! congrats on bettering yourself. but nobody's forgiving you. you're still just a sick twisted excuse for a person and you deserve to ROT for everything you put Shelby through.

-Ezra

[consumed-by-fandom]

The Dudes and comforting you when you’re upset

I know I’m not the first to do this one, but a lot of you really liked the last headcanon post??? So why not!

P1: The most emotionally aware out of all of them I’d say, so instantly knows if something is wrong and you’re upset. Will drop anything and come to your aid, panicking but trying to help, “What’s wrong? Oh God, can I do anything? Do you need anything? I’m here for you.” His worried ass will do anything to make you feel better. May not be the best at saying the right words, but will make sure you know that you’re safe with him and that he won’t let anyone or anything harm you. Expect lots of hugs that last a long time and offers of food and comfort like blankets or stuffed animals if you like them.

P2: Doesn’t understand what’s going on at first, may be a bit rude about it, “the fuck’s wrong with you? You sick or something?” Once he realises how upset you are he feels a little guilty about how he acted before and tries to be a little more considerate. Will most likely try to get you to talk it out, try and understand the issue and see how to solve it, he’s very much a ‘let’s deal with the thing that’s upsetting you first’ kinda guy. Since he’s terrible with his own emotions he’ll struggle to actually comfort you, may just resort to buying you something you like to try and make you feel better or trying to give you somewhat decent advice? If all else fails he might resort to just asking you what he can do, “Look, just tell me what to do here, I don’t want you to be upset anymore.” Lord knows he’s trying, and that’s the main thing.

P3: While he might not understand why you’re upset, he sure as hell knows how to make you feel better. Really good at being gentle and considerate, his words are his strong point, “Hey there honey, let’s dry those eyes and you can tell me what’s gotten you so upset, hm? You’re gonna be alright.” (Southern accent hghgghejfh) Will offer embraces or just an arm over your shoulder, if you wanna be close to him he’s more than happy to oblige. Gives decent advice, focuses a lot on being able to have a hard shell and take things in stride, while being allowed to feel the way you do. He may not be able to relate or empathise due to his inability to feel emotions much, but he’d rather you feel better than stay upset.

BD: Far better emotionally than the last three, so the instant he sees you’re upset he knows what to do. Is very gentle, may seem like he doesn’t care but that’s just his stoic nature. Will reassure you that you’re in safe hands, “I know it seems like too much to handle, but you’re stronger than you think.” He’s been in the same boat many times, he knows how it feels, and he’ll make sure he does what he can to make you feel better. Even if at the end of the day you still feel bad, he’s okay with just sitting with you or talking to you if it keeps your mind off it.

OD: Hoooo boy. This is not his strong suit, he’s probably the worst out of all of them at comforting someone. Would take a shit ton of self-control not to snap at you, and he’d feel guilty if he made things worse. Would just want you to tell him the deal, if it anyone he can punch the snot out of, it’s on sight. If anyone has hurt you, he’ll be pissed off, otherwise the most he can do is just tell you to be strong, “This isn’t the end of the world, you’ve survived far worse, and you’ll survive far worse.” Not exactly good at comfort, but he’ll swallow his pride if there’s something he can do that’ll make you feel better.

P4: Possibly the best out of everyone simply due to the experience and emotional growth he’s done. Evokes the most warmth and comforting presence out of all of them, he’ll talk with you about it, he’ll try to solve whatever issue is bothering you, he’ll comfort you in any way that he can, he’ll do literally anything you ask him to. Will go out of his way to make the rest of the day something you’ll enjoy, no matter the cost. If you’re not smiling by the end of the day, he won’t be satisfied, but he’s also okay if all you want to do is curl up in a blanket and watch movies all day. He’ll be right by your side, “If there’s anything I can do for you, just let me know. I just want you to be okay.”

Lemme know if there’s other ideas you want me to cover I’m sure I can scoop more headcanons outta my brain for this bozos in between my fic writing :3

[riddle-me-ri]

can you do somethin smutty with Gotham! Jervis? Like him falling in love with a police officer and finding out she kinda reciprocates his feelings? Ending with a sweet love confession and some love making? You don’t have to if you don’t wanna… <3

A/N: Oh, but, but I wanna anon…I wanna. Sorry if the pacing is weird, it was getting a tad longer than usual so there were some awkward cuts. I hope it reads well but this is some of the softest shit I have ever written…I hope you enjoy it!

Also heeeyyy new header, who dis? This is stupid basic until I figure out what look I’m going for, still wanna rock with the book/paper/tears/rips kinda thing but I definitely wanna keep it simple so I don’t get lost in making this like I almost did this one lol

Trigger Warnings: Explicit sexual content (making out, love bites, cunnilingus, piv intercourse, unprotected sex), mentions of crime, and strong language.

Word Count: 2.2 k

Gotham Mad Hatter x F!Reader - Down the Rabbit Hole

You gasped when you thought you saw something out of the corner of your eye…

Damnit quit being paranoid it's nothing! 

You could have sworn you saw a top hat and long black trench coat.

You were hot on the trail of Jervis Tetch and his latest crime spree. Handfuls of Gotham's Elite randomly committing suicide with no records of self harm, suicidal thoughts, or mental health issues. 

It confused you…he confused you. That's what it was confusion after all…not like you were actually intrigued by the hypnotist and wanted to…

No. No nothing like that. 

Witnesses say they've seen the Hatter wandering the Narrows. Likely to take cover after having the heat on him for the past few weeks. You seemed to be the only one closing in on him. Tetch eluded everyone else, yet for you, he seemed to put in the extra effort to make an appearance. 

"Will you, won't you, will you join the dance?" He chuckled gleefully last time you saw him. 

"You won't be dancing when I put you away, Tetch!" You responded sternly. Trying to not let his stunning grin and rich voice lull you to compliance. 

He gasped in faux hurt. "You'd put me away? Tsk tsk tsk no no that just won't do…" 

He appeared behind you,  leaned in to whisper in your ear. "I'll show you one day, my dear. Your world is black and white…right and wrong…but you see it's so much more…it could be so much more…if you'd let me show you…" 

It did sound…extremely tempting. You felt like you've been trekking along on a looping railroad track. A track that made the same stops, the same turns…and despite doing your best…it occasionally broke down time and time again. 

You shook your head again. Trying to shake the intruding fantasy out of your mind. You were a cop, you sought justice even in a city where justice was often thought a joke if not a myth. 

You weren't going to let some handsome highly wanted criminal mastermind get in the wa- 

You just referred to him as handsome. Goddamnit. 

Maybe it was time to call it a night. You decided to head out of the club you were scoping out from and began the walk back to the main street to grab a taxi.

You were walking down a quiet alleyway, a shortcut out of the Narrows when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

You immediately spun around on your heel. "Hey! Who the hell?" 

"Good evening, my dear.." 

"T-Tetch?" You stuttered, certain you weren't going to see him tonight. 

"Come now, I think we're past formalities…you can call me Jervis or yours fine are both by me." He grinned. 

"I…I don't understand…" which was true. You didn't understand this case, this man, or just what was going on inside your head anymore. 

You didn't even stop him from resting a hand along the side of your face. He leaned your face up, bringing your eyes to look at his. 

"It's because you're afraid, it's all right to be afraid. Your mind has shifted, for the better I may add." He chuckled satisfied. 

"I thought I knew…I knew what was right and wrong…I do know but it does nothing for me anymore like it used to…" 

You were rambling now, no longer able to keep the troubling and questioning thoughts inside your head anymore. Maybe if you spoke them into existence they wouldn't be so damn loud. 

You were almost to the point of tears. You know you shouldn't feel this way…not towards him…a murderer, a thief, a master manipulator. Yet you feel like he'd be the only one to finally pull you out of this mental fog. 

You felt a leather textured thumb run along your cheek, and Jervis softly shushed you. 

"It's all right, my dear. It will all be all right…again, if you just let me. Let me love you, and show you a world that can be quite the Wonderland." He smiled softly. 

"Y-You love me?" He was always somewhat flirtatious but you never thought to the point of an actual romance. 

"Madly, darling." He smiled sincerely at you. "I've been smitten with you since the start. While this chase has been thrilling…I'm afraid the fun has passed. I just want you by my side."

All of a sudden something clicked in your brain. Like a light switch turned on or a puzzle piece snapping into place. 

Your emotions drove your movements from then on out as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his surprised lips. 

You adored him. You loved him. You didn't care. He woke up with something inside that has been wanting to get out. To be who you always wanted to be, not who you were supposed to be. 

Jervis was taken aback, clumsily but quickly wrapping his arms around your waist to catch you as you nearly knocked him back. He was able to recover quickly, and eagerly returned your kiss. 

Before you knew it your back hit brick as he caged you against the wall of a building. His hands came up to your face, almost cradled it. Reluctantly he pulled away, to look into your eyes, he grinned giddily at you. 

“At last, at long last. My darling…" He delicately tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear. 

You couldn't help but smile back in pure glee. How foolish you were to deny this unadulterated elation for so long. For some weak stance on right and wrong or justice and injustice. 

You began combing your fingers through his soft curling locks. "What should we do now?" 

"The night is ours, darling…now that we are together, anything is possible."

—---------------------------------------------

It was also highly possible that you two just ended up back at your apartment. 

If you told yourself before you headed out for the night you would bring Jervis Tetch back to your home. You would have laughed at yourself.

As soon as the door closed you two began quickly swiping off each other's clothes. Jervis had an absurd amount of layers, but you carefully hung his signature top hat on a high shelf. 

Jervis snuck up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You squealed in surprise as he pulled you towards him, he grinned as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. You spun around to where you were leading him to your bed. 

Once the back of your legs hit the edge of the mattress, you fell back effortlessly. You dragged Jervis with you in tow by his dark dress shirt you were still working the buttons off of. 

Many heated kisses were exchanged as you two were finally free from the confines of your clothes. Your hands roamed from his shoulders, to his chest, to his abdomen. 

Jervis' shaky breath tickled your face which caused your hands to stop so you could look back up at him. 

"Are you okay?" You whispered softly. 

"M-More than okay, darling." He reassured, as he took one of your hands and brought it up to his lips.

You brought your face forward, gently meeting his lips again with yours. It was his turn for his hands to roam your body.

Long slightly rough fingers cradled your jaw, all he had to do was tighten his grip and he could kill you. Yet, he didn't as his hands slowly traveled downward. 

You moaned into his mouth, where your tongues ran circles around each other. He began softly kneading your chest, occasionally pinching your nipples. 

When you gasped at a particularly sharper pinch, Jervis took the chance from the broken kiss to nestle his head into the crook of your neck and began to pepper kisses there. While simultaneously leaning you back softly to where you laid flat on the bed. 

You giggled every so often where his beard slightly tickled you, but giggles soon melded into moans whenever he nibbled a little harder on your skin. His hands still remained on your chest, even as he kept kissing down from your neck, to your collarbone, and down the valley between your breasts. 

"J-Jervis…" 

He shushed you softly as he kissed the top of your stomach, again causing you to slightly giggle. Jervis smiled up at you, he always wanted to hear you laugh. Whenever he sees you, you always seem troubled and upset about something. 

He was grateful he was finally able to take it all away. 

He slowly retracted his hands away, to put them on the top of your thighs. You tensed at first out of instinct, he smiled again reassuringly, as he kissed the middle of each of your thighs to get them to relax. 

"Y-You don't have–oh!" 

Jervis kissed along your inner thigh until he reached the apex between your legs. Sweetly, he pecked your lower, slightly damp lips. 

"I know, but I want to, darling…" he assured in a hushed whisper, as if he could break you if he spoke at full volume.

You were panting now, on the edge of your seat waiting for what he would do next. You gasped as you felt a warm wet appendage split your lower lips apart. 

"Jervis!" You hissed as his tongue began lapping up your juices that steadily flowed out from you. 

You knocked your head back when you felt slight pressure on the hood above your clit. As his deft fingers went under it and began rolling slow circles around your clit. 

You moaned out his name, as he continued to eat you out like a last meal. Like a man on the verge of death from starvation and you held the rejuvenating sustenance between your legs. 

You could feel your orgasm bubbling just below your gut. Your moans becoming louder and breather signaled to Jervis you were close. 

"No, n-n-no…please.." You begged.

Jervis slowly let up on his assault, slowing his motions to a stop as he pulled back from between your legs. 

"I'm sorry, dear. I can't have you finishing, just yet. I promise…" He brought himself back up to face you, his body caging you in, you were surrounded by him. 

"...it will all be worth it." He whispered into your ear before kissing you hard. You could taste yourself on his tongue and it made you moan deeply. 

You felt the head of his cock slowly work its way between your cunt lips. You breathed hard through your nose as he slowly began entering you. 

You cried out his name, breaking the kiss as he was fully inside. What he somewhat lacked in girth he made up in length, him practically hitting your cervix. 

Time and your bodies stood still while you adjusted to his length and he took in the tight grip of your walls choking him. 

Jervis began steadily pulling out of you, but leaving the head in before he rocked himself back into you. After a moment of taking it slow he began gradually picking up speed. 

Wanton cries of his name and moans was all the speech you were capable of as he continued thrusting into you. Along with his groans and pants as he shakingly called out your name…you both made quite the cacophony of passion. 

Your hands clinged to his back, slowly scratching away at the skin on his back in irritated red streaks. He gasped slightly at the stinging sensation. You were about to apologize until he leaned forward and bit down at the skin between your neck and shoulder. 

You groaned more from the pleasure than the pain. You felt the familiar tightening in your lower abdomen. Your nerves were about to erupt in sensational vibrations. 

"J-Jervis…I-I'm.." 

He nodded. "I know, darling, I know." He leaned forward to kiss you again once more as he pounded into you fast and hard. 

Your panting high pitched moans were swallowed up by his kiss as your body lit up in pleasurable electricity. The tip of your fingers to the tip of your toes were tingling. 

Jervis soon followed soon after. Your walls' vice grip on his cock milking him for everything he's got and more than willing to give to you. 

Albeit reluctantly, Jervis slowly pulled out from you. You felt your combined fluids slowly dripping out of you. 

Completely dazed, you didn't even notice Jervis got up and got a cloth until you felt the textured rag in between your legs. 

A comfortable silence filled the room, as you and Jervis properly got under the covers. You instinctively cuddled up into his side with your head on his chest. His arms instantly wrapped around you, to somehow pull you in closer than you already are. 

Somehow you found a way to break the silence. 

"I love you, Jervis…I'm sorry it took me so long to come to it. I always knew…just kept trying to ignore it."

He hummed as he kissed your head before saying, "I love you too, darling. No need to worry about the past. You're here with me now and that is all that matters." 

You leaned up briefly to meet his lips once more with yours in a sweet good night kiss. 

In the end, you were grateful to finally trip and fall down the inevitable rabbit hole.

[lunaekalenda]

Hi An I hope you’re doing well and I’ve been feeling hurt, sad, depressed, and wished I could disappear due to losing my new job after two weeks and no longer want to find work anymore especially with the repeated rejections in the past year. Can I request a hurt/comfort/fluff one-shot of Eren x Fem!Reader where Y/N shuts herself in hers and Erens dark shared bedroom with the door locked sobbing uncontrollably in bed wrapped in a blanket covering her figure and head/face and wishing she could be erased from the world after repeated rejections from getting a job she wanted. Then, Eren tries to get Y/N to open the door and begging her to let him in despite her refusal causing him to worry more for her safety, well-being, and making sure she’s not hurting herself until Eren finds a spare key in his pocket to let himself in before he stripped out of his clothes and underwear before climbing into bed to comfort Y/N and cradle her in his naked body. As Eren lifted a part of the blanket off Y/Ns face, he tearfully begs Y/N not to harm herself, how he doesn’t want to be alone without her, and reminds her how much he loves her especially reassuring her there are places for her where she can work before showering her with kisses and rocking her to help her feel better. Finally after Eren calms Y/N down, he laid Y/n down on his bare chest and tells her that even if she was let go, there’s still hope she’ll find work again and he doesn’t want her to kill herself before comforting her with her favorite lullaby to help her rest? Thank you -🌼

hey!! i'm sorry you're going such tough times, and i hope it gets better for you soon! i'm sure you'll be able to recover and keep going, and you're strong to do so! never lose hope, i'm sure a lot of people (including me) are cheering for you!! you're very loved and very much capable and talented! i hope this helps even a little bit <3

warnings: non-sexual nudity, mentions of self harm, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, panic attack. be careful with reading the first paragraphs, as they have strong self-consciousness and negative thoughts that could affect anyone on a crisis. if you wanna read the comfort directly, jump to the red dot.

Your house was silent. Maybe that was the trigger.

Eren had the blinds down, as he usually does when he leaves, and the darkness of the room made you sadder. Alone, silent and dark. Your home was exactly how you felt. You really wanted that job, and still, you were unable to get it. Taking the big grey blanket that Eren bought for you some time ago, and getting changed into your sleeping clothes, you let your fluffy bed hug your body sweetly, covered by the soft fabric, but still it wasn't enough. You still felt the cold on the inside.

You felt how the rejection took root on your heart, and a tree of thoughts started to grow from it. What if you were not enough? If they didn't see you capable? If they didn't trust your works? If they didn't like you? Is anybody going to accept you anywhere?

You take the blanket above your head, covering your shining cheeks, where tears run down quickly. Getting rejected more than once isn't easy to assimilate. Your head hurts from crying and you close your eyes. The world feels way too heavy for you right now, and you wish that burden was taken off your shoulders. You don't know how many time you've been crying, and you don't know when you fell asleep during it.

.

You hear knocks, followed by your name, in Eren's voice. He knocks again, but you don't feel strong enough to stand up and open the door. Your muscles feel tired and your head feels dizzy. Your eyes start to close again, but your hear a key against the door, Eren's steps inside the room, the light from the corridor filling the bedroom. Eren walks quickly towards you, kneeling by your side. He takes a bit of the blanket away, checking your face. Your eyes are swollen from crying and they search his slowly. He smiles softly when your eyes meet his.

"What happened, love?" he asks in low voice, no more than a whisper. You take your body to your side of the bed, and he understands what you mean. Undressing quickly, Eren takes the blanket and slides next to you, taking your body on a hug, his warm skin calming your muscles. You sigh against his body. His hands run over your thighs, your arms ad your back. He caresses you as he lets you speak.

"I got rejected for that work. Again." just remembering it makes you feel miserable again, but you feel his lips pressed on top of your head. His hug gets tighter as his caresses are still sweet on your skin. "I don't know what fails... I have a nice portfolio, I have nice reviews from my past jobs, I always try to answer correctly at all the interview questions for what? To get rejected again and again and again and cry and see someone get the job I've been fighting so hard for." Tears are unstoppable again when he kisses your head again.

"Love. If they didn't get you, it's not your fault. You're incredible, and all your past bosses say the same about you. I'm sure there are a hundred jobs made for you. I know you really wanted this job, but they're the ones losing. Show them who you are. Make them search you. Make them beg you to join. Andm, if that isn't the case, I'm sure you'll enjoy your new work so much you wont' have time to think about the one that rejected you." he takes a tear away with his thumb, feeling how your erratic breath starts to follow his, and he sighs. "You're amazing, and no one, specially an interviewer. should tell you otherwise."

Then, he takes his time to kiss every one of your tears until they stop falling, to rock your body slowly until your breath calms down, to hear every single one of your thoughts and reassure you that there's a lot of people who loves you, who enjoy being by your side, and who feel lucky to have you in their lives.

"And I'm the first one of that list." he whispers. "I don't know where I would be without you, and I'm sure I wouldn't be the man I am today without you. That's your magic. You make people better. You make people happy, loved, cherished. And you should get the same back."

Your eyes feel quite heavy from all the tiredness of crying, and you let your body meet his, more comfortable and more warm. You whisper against his chest. "Thank you. For everything."

As a response, he sings your favorite lullaby for you, keeping the rhythm with soft caresses on your back, until you feel asleep on his arms.

[vicewiccanblog]

.: My Spirit Protector/Guardian :.

Ok, I don't remember the exact term used for these entities. So if someone can correct me, feel free to do so.

Around the time I met my deity, I also met my protector. They morphed from the darkness of the grove I saw in my vision, forming into an owl-like shape with these 'shadow flames' of sorts coming off their form. And when they appeared, I felt...calm. Protected. As if by just them being there, nothing would harm me. I actually felt like someone genuinely cared about me, but it was also coming from myself. A part of me that I had denied for so long, finally finding its way back home to rest and be comforted. And I did cry, because it felt like that part of me was starting to heal.

And I believe that, ever since that day, I've seen them in my dreams. But not as an owl, instead seeing them take form of whatever I am 'comforted' by at the time. And I started to realize this when they started appearing as Katsuki Bakugo, because he's the one character I've ever felt that deep of a connection with (aside from Dabi and Deku of course but they haven't shown up as either of them yet). And ever since, they've basically tried to 'become' him. I feel like they're doing this so I trust them more, so I'm comforted by their presence and we can actually talk.

Every time I have met my protector, they have talked in this sweet tone - like a doting parent. Or even a loving pet. But their voice is always 'off', I guess like how one would explain a mimic trying to copy a voice. Just this distortion to it, their voice fluctuates in tone/pitch where they sometimes sound like Soft!Bakugo but them suddenly it sounds like a mouse and then flips between that and the voice it's trying to copy. It doesn't scare me, far from it. I know they're trying to appeal to me, so I feel safer around them. But, sometimes, I do wish I'd see their shadowy owl form again.

As I've been re-visiting these memories lately, I've been looking up Owls and what they mean symbolically. I've found they mean not only wisdom and mystery, but also things like change and truth/shadows. And to me, this means that my protector taking the form of an owl simply means I need to face the darkness - I had started being more 'open' after my mom's death, and she was the one thing keeping me mentally blocked off from this side of myself. So it makes sense, I am one who prefers the truth even if I have a hard time accepting it. And I feel like my protector is trying to help me with that, including in my dreams and visions.

I find it fascinating that, in my first time calling out to deities who may want to work with me, all this happened right away. I felt no fear at all, only peace and connection to things I felt were blocked off from me for so long. And I know that, even if I stumble and fall (i.e. my mental/physical issues making it hard for me to function), at least I have those two on my side. I have my diety, and my protector...and possibly an incubus, I'm still trying to figure that part out. But it seems like I have a lot of spiritual guides on my side, I just need to apply their guidance into my real life. Because I am largely doing all this for self-healing, I have always had a connection to the occult and grew up being told my dad was a Wiccan.

I know that my protector is smiling at me, seeing how strong I really am. And I just wanna cry, they feel so proud of me and no one has ever made me feel that way. Not even myself. So thank you, protector. I'll do all I can to make you proud of me, though I know you already are.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Complementary: Two Halves

So I know you *just* wrote Complementary, but it was so good and I’m already thinking about more, like how do the other sides react/apologize to Remus? Especially Roman and Janus! - stealing babies

HELLO YOU *POINTS* YOU ARE SO COOL AND ALL YOUR WRITING MAKES ME WANNA BITE DOWN ON MY TEETH CAUSE IM SMILING SO MUCH YOU HAVE AN AMAZING WRITING STYLE AND FUCKING BRILLIANT SENSES CAUSE YOUR WORDS EVOKE EMOTION AND ITS SO SO COMFY AND IM INSPIRED BY YOU *inhale exhale* im sorry if that comes off too strong, your writing makes me Feel Good Things(TM), please keep doing your thing :D i also have a sander sides request *jazz hands* that is entirely optional, if you happen to stumble upon an opportunity to do more with roman and remus together bonding and playing with each other as reconciled adults cause they didn't get to do that often when they were kids (like shenanigans yk tattling on each other, tickle fights and rough housing all in good fun, and *whispers with faux conspiracy* brotherly affection) then that would be dope as fuck!!! BONUS points if all the other sides or even c!thomas watch and shake their heads fondly like "what sillies they are, can't take our boys anywhere" - anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: body dysphoria, not taking good care of yourself, borderline self-harm I guess?? meltdowns

Pairings: none

Word Count: 2911

    Some days he can't put on all the masks and disguises and armors. Some days he just needs to be messy.

He shoves food into his mouth just so if someone asks if he ate, he doesn't have to lie, shoveling bread and cut-up vegetables into himself over the sink, pausing to breathe until he's had enough to constitute dinner.

Off with his clothes. They itch and rasp against his skin like sandpaper because how dare he feel sensations, how dare he try to exist in the world without protection from it, and so off they come in the bathroom as he turns the shower on high. He gives himself time to run a brush roughly through his hair before he jumps in.

The water hisses and crackles and he's somehow still cold.

He shoves shampoo along his scalp with all the finesse and tenderness of a push broom. How dare his body express its own needs and require maintenance when all it does is betray him? He squeezes his eyes shut in punishment as the suds run down his wretched face.

Sharp nails scratch against his scalp and the zing of the suds against the hot water tears through the boiling haze in his brain.

So he does it again.

And again.

And again.

When all the shampoo is gone he keeps going, moving down his neck, his chest, his arms, his legs, his back, anywhere and everywhere he can reach as dead skin starts to peel off of him in waves and waves of little gray pill-shaped balls.

He doesn't stop until he has to pick them free from his nails.

He shoves a brush roughly under them to scrub away the bits that got stuck there and turns off the shower. He towels off brusquely and rakes his hair back from his face.

Scrub your face like you can rub it off if you try hard enough.

Scrape the toothbrush along your mouth as though it can clean your words too.

Drag a comb through your hair and shove it back so you don't have to look at it anymore.

Hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt.

No one is here and he can be as messy as he wants.

He slaps the wall to turn out the lights and drags sleeping clothes on and flops gracelessly onto the bed. The sheets are cold and rough against tender and scratched skin and he rolls around like a guilty pig in the mud, horrific in his tangibility. Manic energy that fizzles and strains like rope keeps him moving as he gets dizzy and sore and still he keeps moving.

Don't you see, part of him screams, don't you see how hard I have to work to keep this hidden? Don't you see how much effort I put into not being so horrible and disgusting?

Don't you understand how awful it is to be trapped in this wretched body? Do you honestly think I do all of this on purpose, that I would choose to be this thing?

His mouth opens and his jaw aches to bite.

But bite marks are obvious. Bite marks can be noticed. Bite marks can be pointed at and asked about and scratches can be anonymous.

So he doesn't bite.

But oh, god does he want to.

When he's finished, when the worst of the energy is gone and he's given up completely, he can pant against his sheets and crawl under the covers to bury his face in a pillow.

There is freedom in being a mess.

And none more so in realizing that no one could ever grow to care for such a wretched thing and perhaps that is the greatest freedom of all.

I am weak, my love, and I am wanting.

A line from a song he'd heard in passing that crawled through his brain like a livewire. Weak because he was too fragile and breakable to ask for what he wants, and wanting because he was shamefully weak and unable to pass through the world by himself.

In these shameful moments during weak and wanting times, he allows himself to dream.

Dream that someone would notice his hands were hurting and reach out to take one in theirs, pulling it into their lap and helping to coax sensation back into it.

Dream that someone would come to him and just hold him without first lecturing him on how foolish and arrogant he'd been.

Dream that someone, somewhere, somehow would be capable of loving a mess.

But he is too much ashamed and too much ruin to allow such dreams to become hopes. That's not his job.

He clutches pillows instead, cuddles into something that can't shy away under the covers of fabric and darkness. He tries in vain to fight off the voices that remind him how little anyone touches him; tensing, flinching, pushing him away, or cursory shoulder pats that feel like ash on his skin.

Too loud, too brash, too messy.

He really does try not to take it so personally but sometimes…sometimes his hands have other plans and he drops whatever it was that he'd been holding.

Which only makes a bigger mess.

He closes his eyes tighter and hugs the pillow.

Tonight is already shameful enough, he can let himself dream too.

A dream that maybe would come and just think to check on him. A dream that wouldn't lead with accusations and disappointment. A dream that would ask if he ate out of concern and not worried skepticism.

Yes. Yes, he can dream about this dream.

The dream would come in and softly ask if he's okay. If no answer came, they would come closer, close enough to sit on the edge of the bed. Maybe they would reach down and feel around a bit to find his head before lifting up the blankets.

The dream might see his face, upset and weak and messy, and let out a sympathetic noise. Maybe they would ask if there was anything they could do to help and mean it, not just use it to start another lecture.

Maybe…maybe the dream would want to touch him.

Maybe the dream would lie down too, carefully situating themselves under the covers and reaching out to cup his face. The dream's hands would be warm and gentle as they moved closer so the pillow was in between them. They might smile and tease softly about how they were a much better cuddler than the pillow.

He clutches the pillow a bit tighter out of reflex.

But the dream would coax it away. But lightly, as if they were taking a blanket from a frightened pup so it could be wrapped around them properly. The dream would settle it near the headboard and smile softly to say there, that's better, and—and—

A horrible strangled half-sound leaves his throat and his teeth sink into the pillow before he can stop it.

Oh, he is awful, truly, he can't bite the dream, he can't be such a mess—even the dream would be affronted and pull away from him at that—he can't—he can't—

But maybe…maybe it would be okay? If—if he just bit their clothes or something and not—not them?

They might say it's just clothing, it's nothing so bad. The dream might say that he can bite if he needs to but it might be better to chew on something soft.

…what would it be like to have someone who…who cared like that?

To have it be okay to be a mess and not have to stop it?

This dream is going to make him cry, isn't it? All over its metaphysical self.

That's okay too, the dream would say, you can cry. There's nothing wrong with crying, crying is alright.

They would take him gently into their arms and—and just hold him and that would be okay and—and—

Shh, shh, it's alright. Don't hurt yourself trying to stop it.

He bites again. Harder.

Breathe, I need you to breathe. You're hurting yourself, that's it, just hold onto me.

His grip tightens on the pillow until it groans in protest.

I'm right here. You're alright. It's alright, I'm not leaving. You have me, see? It's alright, it's alright.

It's not alright.

It is, Re, I promise it is.

Dreams can't promise.

No, maybe not, but I can.

You're a dream.

I'm not, Re.

Yes, you are.

Open your eyes, then, look at me.

That is cruel. To give him hope like that and then rip it away and make it seem like his fault.

Open them, Re, I promise.

He shakes his head. He won't do it. He can't.

…why does his pillow smell like that?

"Re?"

…no.

"Re, come on, I'm right here."

No.

"Shh, shh, Re, come on, I got you."

But—but—

"It's not a dream, Re, it's not. Just open your eyes, Re, look at me."

And because he is weak and he is wanting, he opens them.

"Re," Roman murmurs, looking far too tender and far too real, leaning down to brush the tip of his nose against his forehead, "oh, Remus, I'm so sorry."

Roman is here. Roman is here and Roman is holding him and Remus is crying, sobbing, shaking in his brother's arms.

"I'm right here," Roman keeps murmuring, "I'm right here, okay? I'm right here and I'm not letting go of you. I've got you."

"R-Ro—Roro—"

"Yes, it's me, it's Roro, I'm right here. I'm so sorry, Remus, I'm so sorry for everything, I've been so awful to you—"

"Ro-bro."

And because Roman is still his other half, even when they haven't been whole in years, he knows exactly what to do. He rolls over so he's squishing Remus into the bed with their chests pressed together so Remus can feel him breathe, grounding him against the cold sheets and he feels warm, warm, warm.

"Right here," Roman says again, "right here, Remus, I'm right here."

"Roman," Remus can't stop chanting, "Ro, Ro, Ro, Roro, Roman, Ro-bro, Roro—"

"It's okay. It's okay, Re, it's okay."

Remus collapses into a mess of crying and clawing and biting, attacking Roman's clothes with a borderline desperation, trying to shove himself into Roman's chest, drunk and high off the realization that Roman is here.

Roman lets him. Doesn't pull away, doesn't shy back, doesn't even flinch.

Just stays.

It's the greatest gift anyone could ever have given him.

"I'm sorry," Roman murmurs again when he finally sags into the bed, exhausted, "I'm sorry I left."

"You left," Remus parrots, still swimming in the pressure of Roman holding him like he's something precious, "you left me."

"I know. It was wrong and cruel and I wish I could take it back. I wish I'd never let them separate us. I wish—I wish I'd been there for you."

"You left…but you came back."

"You're my brother, Re," Roman mumbles and his voice feels thick, "you're my brother and I love you."

The words punch a hole clean through Remus's chest and he sobs again. "You left me. You left me and—and it's so cold, Roro."

Without letting Remus go, Roman reaches down and tugs the blankets over them. It grows hot and unbearable in no time and there's nowhere Remus would rather be. He turns his head, almost in disbelief, and presses his teeth lightly to Roman's shoulder again.

"Did…did I hurt you?"

"No."

"But I…I was so messy."

Roman's quiet for a moment, then his grip tightens even as he leans up and away, just so he can peer down at him. Roman's eyes are red and swollen too, he's been crying into Remus's shoulder too? "You're messy and you're still my brother. I don't care if you're messy. I don't care, you hear me? You're Remus and your mess is great because it's yours."

"But you—you hate my mess. You said it's everything you don't want to be."

"I am not you. I don't hate your mess. I love your mess because it's yours and I could never hate you." Something pained crosses Roman's face. "I…I tried. It didn't work. I still loved you even when I hated it."

"You did?"

"I did. And then—then I realized that I didn't give a fuck about what they thought of you because you were Remus and you were—messy. I like it when you're messy because that means you're being you."

Something thick and heavy rises to the back of his throat. "You…you like my mess?"

Roman's expression softens and he sniffles too. "Yeah, Re. I like your mess. I don't—I won't lie and say I get it all the time or that I want to be messy too, but I like your mess."

His teeth sink into the fabric over Roman's shoulder before he can stop it.

"Is that—is that good? Is that okay?"

He nods as best he can without letting go and he knows he doesn't imagine the way Roman sags on top of him.

"Good," he pants, "good, I…I really miss you, Re."

A pained whimper leaves Remus's throat and he clutches Roman tighter. Roman lets him, lets him pull him as close as he wants, gently murmuring into the curve of his neck. It's okay. I'm here. You got me. I love you.

Roman is hopes and dreams and Remus is weak and wanting. And so when Roman quietly offers to spend the night, just so Remus knows next morning that this can't have been a dream, Remus tells him that he'd better get comfortable because he's not allowed to leave until breakfast.

Maybe not even after that.

Things are better now.

He still has to put on all the stuff to go and interact with the others for long periods of time, but he can stand next to Roman and play with his stimtoys when things get too much. He can go out into the Imagination and not have to worry about hiding things because Roman is there too, spurring him on and making sure he knows that he can make whatever he wants because this is their domain, no one else's. He can curl up in the safety that Roman gives him and not have to worry about being ostracized for being a mess.

It's more than he ever dared hope for.

And Roman loves him for it.

He tackles Roman for the first time when Roman shows him the kraken lake he's been working on for Remus and Roman lights up at the idea that he can show Remus affection like that. He playfights with Remus in the Imagination and they both end up covered in grass stains and dirt more times than he can count. Roman tackles him into the lake once and they spend the day tearing up old kelp so that the babies have enough free space to swim. He curls up around Roman on the beach as they laze in the sun like overgrown housecats and Roman sings him stupid songs they came up with when they were younger.

And when he needs to be messy and have someone else just be there, Roman conjures a massive nest of blankets and soft things for them to roll around in so they don't hurt themselves. He wraps Remus up in blankets until he's a little Side burrito and they watch kid's shows that make them feel like they're still Creativity. He lays his head on Roman's shoulder and chews on his necklace that Roman gave him and it's okay that he's a mess.

He's Roman's mess and Roman's his brother again.

And that's all okay.

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[mur-art]

Smiles big and evil. Talk to me about Nevada ooo i know u wanna ooo heehoo △ ϟ ✔ [also ✘ and 웃, but those are pretty obvious]

Under the cut, 'cause Nevada in general is NSFW.

△- Name one thing from their past that they regret.

He regrets NOTHING.

I would say on a general level, he regrets being so careless with his physical wellbeing over the years. He's tried every drug known to man, battled addictions, engaged in self-harming activities, and generally has a devil-may-care philosophy about his own health. Turns out that even immortality doesn't mean immunity from consequences. And when he comes down off his high, everything hurts.

That doesn't mean he's going to stop. Just means that he knows he shouldn't keep doing the things that are hurting him.

ϟ- Have they ever gotten pleasure from causing others pain?

Outside of a BDSM sense which he's definitely into... He HATES when people are assholes for no reason and takes great pleasure in taking them down. I have a really strong headcanon that he absolutely does NOT tolerate any kind of harassment or sexual violence in his presence. This mostly applies to humans who dare try to start shit around him. They will very quickly learn what it's like to get an eye gouged out by a stiletto heel. What happens in Vegas DOESN'T stay in Vegas if he has any say in it. And maybe he's still a bit influenced by his mobster days; if a few people go "missing" afterward; who's to judge?

✔-Are they holding a grudge against anyone?

He holds grudges (mostly against other states) super easily over real or perceived wrongs and simmers with anger for a long time. The worst part is he'll still act in public like everything is fine. But after awhile, you'll know. He can get really passive-aggressive and catty and make your life a living hell before you fully realize what's happening. Most of the time he's holding a grudge against California for whatever reason but honestly, who isn't?

As for the bonus question/s, he can and WILL help aliens commit murder...

don't ask questions.

[lovclies]

[ halle bailey, cis woman , she/her ] - it looks like zuri morgan is late to class once again . how do they expect to get their degree in dance by skipping class ? it’s a wonder that the twenty year old made it to their sophomore year . then again , i heard that they were + reliable which may give them a pass with professors , but they are also - self centered so maybe not . i heard they were blasting lilith by halsey before class . all i know is that they remind me of muffled screams into a pillow, unread text messages, watching the sun rise through her window after an all nighter.

           STATISTCS   |   WANTED  CONNECTIONS   |   PINTEREST

background  :

     tw  death   the  youngest  of  two , zuri  was  born  as  the  second  child  of  a  loving  and  hardworking  couple  who didn’t  have  much  money  but  still  tried  their  hardest  to  provide  for  their  children  the  best  life  they  could  get . the  father , however , suffered  an  accident  during  his  job  as  a  fireman  that  he  didn’t  survive . zuri  was  a  young  kid  when  this  very  unfortunate  event  happened  to  the  morgan’s , leaving  her  with  only  a  few  memories  of  times  when  her  family  was  complete , due  to  her  young  age .

     their  mother  was  left  to  raise  the  children  on  her  own , it  wasn’t  an  easy  job , to  be  working  as  nurse  and  give  a  good  life  to  her  kids . she  did  it  anyway , being  the  strong  woman  she  was . it  wasn’t  a  secret  for  zuri  and  her  brother  how  much  their  mother  had  to  handle , it  doesn’t  need  a  lot  to realize  that  conciliate  grief , work , motherhood , bills , etc , requires  too  much  from  one  person  to  handle  on  her  own . zuri  understood  that  from  an  early  age , which  helped  to  build  the  good  relationship  she  always  had  with  the  family .

personality  :

     basically , zuri  is  very  straightforward  and  blunt , can’t  keep  her  mouth  shut  even  when  she  should . taking  one  second  to  think  before  speaking  ?   not  possible  for  her . she’s  that  person  that  once  you  know  her , will  try  to  have  an  impact  in  your  life  unconsciously . she  has  a  big  personality , is  very  stubborn , opinionated  and  fiery , but  also  a  humble  person , spontaneous , vivacious  and  free - spirited . and  when  someone  gets  in  her  life ,  won’t  ever  want  to  let  them  go .      owns  an  explosive  temper  but  her  outbursts  never  last  long . unless  something  severe  happened , she’ll  soon  forget  it  and  won’t  hold  a  grudge .      zuri  doesn’t  have  any  patience  for  when  people  make  situations  unnecessarily  complicated , she’s  direct  and  practical , every  time  the  girl  has  something  on  her  mind  she’ll  just  spill  it  out , if  there’s  something  bothering  her  with  someone , she’ll  go  to  the  person  and  deal  with  it . hates  games , overly  dramatic  situations , manipulation , etc .      very  independent , likes  to  think  she  doesn’t  need  anyone  for  anything . and  absolutely  hates  to  be  restricted  in  any  way .      tends  to  avoid  anything  that  seems  like  a  waste  of  time  for  her , which  can  go  from  simple  things  such  as  a  night  out  to  relationships . spending  time  and  energy  with  meaningless  things  is  an  actual  fear  of  her .       the  type  of  person  that  will  be  down  for  whatever ! you  wanna  go  to  a  party ? that’s  your  girl . you  wanna  skinny  dip  3am  in  the  winter ? call  her . wanna  go  to  a  road  trip  in  the  middle  of  the  night  having  work  in  the  morning ? she’ll  do  it . generally  a  fun  person  to  be  around .       zuri’s  bad  with  serious  talks  especially  if  they’re  difficult  and  involve  feelings / emotions , she  prefers  to  just  avoid  it .

      she’s  a  pretty  trustworthy  person , would  never  go  around  spilling  secrets  or  talking  behind  someone’s  back , but  since  she’s  someone  who , most  of  the  time , doesn’t  really  think  before  doing  something , she  can  hurt  people  around  her  without  realizing  it .  and  she’ll  only  later  see  that  her  actions  may  have  caused  harm  to  someone , because  that’s  genuinely  not  her  intention .      also  tends  to  avoid  thinking  about  the  consequences  of  her  actions  because  it’s  just  easier  to  not  deal  with  it  at  the moment  and  leave  the  problems  for  her  future  self , in  fact , most   problems  she  gets  herself  into , could  probably  be  avoided  if  she  started  to  think  before  taking  actions .

[zerobaseonefics]

tw: rape, attempt and idk what else??

so basically my depression worsened and i had an attempt on wednesday, this week. school is too much already and it barely started, my whole family is a problem and my friends(?) are making jokes about me which i find somehow funny but it also hurts me

my family is talking about how my breasts grow so fast and how they are bigger than most of the women in my family and even men are saying this which makes me uncomfortable… my parents also keep telling me if i keep misbehaving (sleeping when its daytime) i will be sent to my family in vietnam (im not that close with them because theyre pretty much aggressive and i’m bad at speaking vietnamese, they can’t speak polish, so it’s hard to communicate)

the jokes my friends(?) make are about how a guy almost raped me but i managed to push him off of me.. the jokes are like “omg youre like literally our hulk” etc. // i do find the jokes funny sometimes but then i think about the time it happened and i feel grossed out by myself and feel like crying

also all the panic attacks i had in the recent weeks are all too much.. and it’s too much pressure thinking about everything at once, i just can’t sort it out in my head

even tho my problems may not be that serious, i still can’t handle them anymore. thank you for “listening”to me, i’m really thankful for you<33

~🤍

first of all, i know it's hard to keep that in mind sometimes, and that's why i want to remind you that you should never make a hierarchy of problems. your problems ARE serious, and you should not delegitimize them like that. your feelings are valid no matter what your issue is, if it makes you feel that way then there is a reason and it's your right to be hurt.

i'm genuinely pissed off hearing about the comments on your body from your family 💀 as i hit puberty very young, i also had that problem of adults making inappropriate remarks on it, and i know how it hurts and can mess with your self esteem and the way you feel in your body. avoid the people who make this kind of comments as much as you can. depending on the links you have with your family, try and tell them that it makes you uncomfortable. tell the women in your family especially that it's even worse when it's men and hopefully they will stand up for you if they ever tell you something about it in front of them. this is so annoying why do they care about your body like that 💀

about your friends and their jokes!! even if it can make you laugh sometimes, it's better to tell them straight that you don't like it. if you let them get away with it for too long, they might not understand why you're against it when you used to laught about it. maybe they don't mean any harm, but if they're actual good friends they'll respect you and stop with these jokes. if they are not, i guarantee you that you'll be better off without them. you're very strong, okay? what happened to you when you got assaulted is in no way your fault and it is not taking away your value. don't forget i call you pure >:(

as for the panick attacks, do you have any methods to calm them down?? as someone who suffers from it as well, i had a time when i was younger where they were very frequent. i have less now because i found some methods that help me calm down easier. if you can, press your back against something cold, a wall for example. if you're not alone, try to put your hand on a friend's chest to feel the way they are breathing and try to match your breathing with their. also, i have a friend who put their face in a huge bowl of water. try these next time you have a panick attack, and if doesn't work, look for other ones! there is surely one that will work for you.

i assume you're much younger than me so i will treat you as a little sibling and talk to you according to my experiences as someone who went through similar things as you. if you ever wanna talk about anything, i will always take my time to answer to you and try to give you advices. take care of you, you're valuable, and you should never hurt yourself <3 better days are surely waiting for you in the future, and it would be a shame to miss them, right?

please come back to me at least once a week so i can make sure you're doing good >:( take care, pure 🩶