#time to trap more friends into knowing about a core aspect of my identity

[awesomephd]

oh this is a new level of special interest

[hulloitsdani]

Um. So. I may have gotten stressed and started transcribing FEH’s story mode. Might currently have all of book 1 written down. Perhaps a third of the way into book 2.

This started as a way to have the preface chapters handy since they’re not replayable. But then I looked on the FE wiki and saw that they only have a small fraction of the chapters written down. And that scared me, because means that my hyperfixation has a nonzero chance of becoming lost media if the app were to go down one day. So now I have all of book 1 in my back pocket, including the preface, two intermissions, and the two relevant xenologues. Once I’m further along and have a few more books accounted for, I have no problem making the document public. But until then I encourage others to also write some of its content down. Just in case, you know? Especially those prologues and Tempest Trials.

With that PSA out of the way, omg book 1 hi!!!! It’s been forever!!!!

Apparently, I haven’t reread book 1 in its entirety since I first played Heroes! I’ve gone back to look for specific scenes and replayed the levels on harder difficulties (self inflicted or otherwise), but I haven’t done a thorough second pass before. Which was news to me, because that meant I was consistently blindsided by scenes and characterization that I completely forgot about! Did any of you remember that Zacharias was apparently Alfonse and Sharena’s childhood friend? I didn’t! But there it is, chapter 7 part 5 after battle cutscene, Anna specifies that aspect of their relationship. That’s crazy! How does the timeline even line up on that??? If he spent his childhood in Askr, how did he manage to have a strong relationship with his significantly younger sister? How did he find himself rubbing shoulders with enemy royalty? Could he have inadvertently met Peony? I’m not changing my takes on his character, but I would love to know.

Speaking of character, apparently seven years spent writing a character naturally changes how they sound! Who would have thought. It made seeing the book 1 versions of our Askr trio a little jarring, but in an oddly nostalgic way! This was a phase of the game where the story, its characters, and its world existed with the singular purpose of introducing new players to what Heroes was trying to do. Which was, at the time, being a cute yet unobtrusive gacha app tie in with simplified FE mechanics to give you that gameplay fix on the go. And to its credit, it does do a good job of this! It ain’t a masterpiece, but I was charmed by its emphasis on showing off all these cool characters you could go summon. Ryoma gets to talk for a few lines and you are going to look at his very pretty art! But that meant that the world and characters of Zenith take a bit of a backseat. They’re not here to be too complicated. The Order of Heroes are the friendly faces that go on adventures and meet these heroes that you can summon for only $19.99. But we all know where the game and its story is going to go from here. That emphasis is going to wane as FEH grows into its own identity (and also earn IntSys over $1 billion worldwide).

But that’s a later development. Before that fundamental shift is where book 1 sits. It’s in this fascinating position where these characters have yet to solidify into their recognizable forms. And if you don’t believe me, chapter 9 part 4 has a scene where Sharena and Alfonse’s roles have reversed. For once, Sharena is posing the cautionary “what if the information we are getting from this total stranger is a trap?”, to which Alfonse responds “nah I’m getting a vibe that it’s fine and that we should believe him whole heartedly.” Like??? Huh???? It’s Bruno, but still, that’s hilarious! Alfonse’s pragmatism bordering on paranoia hasn’t established itself as a massive driver of his character yet. Nor has Sharena’s role as trusting emotional core and moral compass of the group. It was very easy to borderline Mandela Effect it into being there, but it isn’t. Not quite. There are hints, sure, but once again these characters were initially made to be simple at the time. The depth doesn’t quite exist yet.

It wasn’t until I was writing this very paragraph that it finally dawned on me why the Askr trio voice lines, especially Alfonse’s lines, are such a big deal. That's where Alfonse’s character arc with trusting Kiran resides. There's the pragmatism we know and love! It’s not super present in the text of book 1, but the depth of these characters can be found in the voice lines you unlock from building them and earning the crown jewel level 40 conversation. That’s where Alfonse’s arc with his self isolating behaviors crumbles at that sight of one silly tactician. That’s where Sharena finally wins a fight against her own loneliness by forming genuine friendship with this stranger form a strange land, who is appreciative of her loud eccentricities. That’s where Anna apologizes about her initial underestimation of Kiran, thanks them for being more reliable than she could have ever hoped for, and swears that whatever hell may come their way, they’re in this together. The books themselves don’t seem to reflect this characterization until book 2, where they overall act more in accordance with the rest of the narrative. It’s as if they're taking from the voiced lines’ example and extrapolating more on the story they imply.

The one standing in slight contrast to all this is Bruno, as he's the most interesting character in book 1. It's blaringly obvious he's Zacharias, but it's genuinely amusing how deep he is in his own gaslighting. He can't manipulate, mansplain, manwhore his way out of this one folks, but he's certainly going to try! His lies aren't even that good, but it honestly contributes to how at wits end he is. Like, sure honey, I totally believe you that you just killed Zacharias. I bet he has an eight-pack too. Just take a nap for two minutes. But then everyone believes him because our protagonists have yet meld their group braincell. Overall, an amusing time.

I don't have a particular point I'm trying to make with this one. Just having a fun and pointing out the things I've noticed. Might give a little update for every book I complete. However many that will be.

[atiyasnake]

just finished crawling through your master post, got any wips trapped in your head or what was your favorite to write?

That, my friend, is a dangerous question to ask... mostly due to the fact that if given the chance, I could go on for a concerningly long time about what wips I have stuck in my head.

So favorites (that at this moment I am typing right now can remember):

Accidental crime boss au :' Wait, I'm a what? Fic

The concussion and mistaken identities au

Hit the deck au

Visitors? (old document au where Jack used to work at Wayne industries)

Stolen core au

But honestly really like all of them because there were so many different kinds of prompts that caught my attention and made me just wanna start writing. Different aspects that call my attention ya know. A little hard to keep track of here on tumblr (for example, this ask that I thought I somehow lost and just found).

With so many, it sucks that I haven't been able to fully write out full fics for most of them :( . I STILL haven't finished part two of the 'What Protects from the Shadows', and that was one of my first ones I did I think. Like legit, I have an outline but now I wanna add things and make some changes and just ajdjskdjakdjs stuff. It's mocking me in my Google docs.

Recently the Stole core au has been rattling around in my head, I've written basically a third chapter and with the point that it's one the fic Bare is probably gonna be longer than just three chapters. 5 if I'm lucky to be honest at the max. BUT THEN I still have plans/ideas for a third part of that series Epmty Soaces on ao3 (which is the Stolen core au from here on tumblr).

Concussions and Mistaken Identities!! I have another unreleased part to that as well, it's ridiculous and every once in a while I wanna add more. It's probably gonna become it's own fic on ao3.

(Once I post a fic on ao3 though, it's another WIP that I KNOW I can't abandon. So I worry about posting if I don't have majority or a good portion of it planned out. Dont wanna leave yall hanging.)

Hit the decks au by @omnicrafts and @ailithnight is another one two that I keep working on in my Google docs as well and that I would love eventually post on ao3 as well. Just the soft angst of it had me in a chokehold. (Please check out the other branches of the prompt!)

A Successful Sacrifice as well is another one that I could potentially write a part 2 for a series. I literally have another 3,000 something words worth of it that I could post (and maybe I will). I find myself going back to it rereading and then working on the draft I have.

Honestly I'm always going back to my docs to work on MANY of the wips and prompt fills that you have seen AND not seen that came from tumblr. Everyone has such awesome ideas that spark inspiration and then I just wanna write a whole ass story for it.

It's a lovely feeling but damn, I do not have nearly enough time for all of them.

And this is me holding back on fully getting into a bunch of other wips and prompts😅

[addierose444]

Reflections on Being a Lifelong Learner

What I miss most about college is my friends and how easy it was to spend time with them. But believe it or not, I also genuinely miss taking classes. What I don’t miss is the homework, exams, and resulting stress. Well before graduating college, I determined that being a lifelong learner was a core part of my identity. And while I’m constantly learning new things at work and just through navigating adult life, I’ve come to realize that I miss learning for learning's sake. 

Maybe not the best example as this is a practical skill, but this weekend I had so much fun working on my finance spreadsheet in part because I got the opportunity to learn several new-to-me functions in Google Sheets. Also, I’m just nerdy like that and love spreadsheets and personal finance. You can read more about the expense tracking part of my spreadsheet in the linked blog post. 

While I’ve been careful to avoid falling into the trap of needing to “be productive” outside of work, the reality is that since graduating college I feel like I spend too much time mindlessly on my computer and could direct some of this time/energy to more fulfilling things like learning. Bouldering three to four times a week has been incredible and does have mental aspects to it, but I’d also like to challenge my brain in new ways on the days I don’t climb. I don’t yet know what it is I want to learn next, but this is something I plan to actively think about and reflect on in the coming weeks. 

[ghostly-shenanigans-in-progress]

BNHA X DP Crossover HCs

After the long wait and finals, here are my ideas for all the quirks/occupations and other concepts I devised for the DP characters in the BNHA universe. This was just for fun and for inspiration towards others interested in this crossover au in general. 

Tagging the people that were looking forward to this post based on the replies: @qoinq-qhost, @floralflowerpower, @tgfangirl4eva @goodfish-bowl, @whitehairglowinggreeneyedcrush and more. 

Anyways, happy reading, folks!

Mr. Lancer

Hero name: Mr. Scholastic

Quirk: Bookworm

Involves his iconic usage of literature titles & quotes for swears to become abilities corresponding to the novel’s contents/themes. Course, he is limited to only books he has read and can quote accurately. Additionally, his voice gets very raspy past two or three quotes as well.

Occupation: Homeroom Teacher for Class 1- A; He’s very dedicated to his new students and teaching the fundamentals of being a pro hero and more! Course, I don’t think his chamomile tea with a wedge of lemon is enough to help him relax from his students (*cough* Danny, Tucker and Poindexter) from their antics at times. 

Danny

Hero name: Phantom 

Quirk: Ghost core (Ok, @coffeecakecafe had the best name for this one gotta give credit here)

Able to do anything a ghost is perceived to do. Go through walls, disappear and fly. This is a one of a kind quirk as it was obtained from Danny’s old quirk being altered by a machine his parents made that would repurpose/alter an individual’s quirk based on their past family members' own metahuman genetics.

Danny is doing his best and trying to understand his new quirk without causing too much attention to himself while doing so but it seems like its been doing the opposite as of late. Thankfully, he won’t be doing it alone with all his classmates around to help him!

Sam

Hero Name: Black Dahlia 

Quirk: Overgrown 

Able to create any plant that she knows the biological makeup and content of in almost any environment. However, it is important for her to drink lots of nutrient rich water and take in enough sun if she plans to create larger versions of these plants.

Tucker

Hero name: Tech Master

Quirk: Tech Core

Located on his chest/heart area is a special energy core capable of powering electronics at a rate faster than anything made-man could ever hope to achieve. As a kid, Tucker would tinker away in his family’s garage on a suit that would harness his power to the fullest extent and lead a new era of support tech in the hero world.

Valerie

Hero name: Red Huntress

Quirk: Electromagnetism (Someone I’ve been trying to find their post on my blog had posted this idea and I fell in love with it ever since)

She’s like Static Shock but with a dash of magenta/ruby lasers she can create through focusing her electromagnetism through her finger tips. She is an expert with her quirk and has the best handle of her quirk than most of her peers. She is the most frequent visitor in the support equipment workshop next to Tucker, Poindexter and Danny. It’s how she built the hoverboard she has in the show that utilizes her electromagnetic abilities for both offensive and defensive maneuvers. (Also, I enjoy the idea that Bullet is Val’s uncle on her mom’s side and is her biggest supporter alongside her dad, Damien Gray).

Jazz 

Quirk: Serenity 

Helps calm individuals and give them a sense of safety/security when they’re around her in a 10 feet radius. Though, anyone out of range cannot be affected by her quirk and she needs to be conscious in order to use it.

She planned on becoming a pro hero but felt her powers were best suited for her dream profession as a psychologist. She has used her quirk a lot when Danny was overwhelmed with his studies prior to UA. Course, a phone call and sibling chat over the phone certainly does the job for Danny now when it comes to preparing material for exams. (Course, its up to you guys to decide)

Dash

Hero name: Rager

Quirk: Strength Magnification

Improves his physique and stamina by a large percentage for a set amount of time. Needs to be careful of how much/long he magnifies his body or else his body will become immensely sore. 

Kwan

Hero name: Rallier 

Quirk: Team Rally (50/50)

Able to duplicate himself 3-4 times while being able to power-up allies’ quirks or stamina with a rally chant to help the team. The more duplicates there are the rally effect multiplies/stacks on the individual but it can lead to dangerous outcomes for their quirk output. 

Kwan is the class representative for 1-A, he’s the best at the job and was more than thrilled to be the one leading his class in more ways than one.  

Paulina

Hero name: Enchantress

Quirk: Charm

If the opponent is flustered by her taunts or flirting, their vision will become altered and start seeing things that are not there. It works better on men than women and the opponent can snap out of it with enough willpower or if they’re not interested in her.

Star

Hero name: Ms. Meteorite

Quirk: Comet

Similar to Gran Torino’s Jet quirk except faster and she can create an explosive impact on where she lands. Similar to a meteorite landing on earth, she also learns to use this as a long distance move by punching fast enough as she descends to create wind pressure punches.

Poindexter

Hero name: Tex (like in Tex Avery; Danny gave him the idea!) 

Quirk: Slapstick

His appearance is black and white just like an old timey cartoon character as well as having the durability and cartoon powers of one. However, his quirk can only work as long as what he does with it is funny in the circumstance it’s used for. Sort of like “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” rules in a sense. 

Sidney is part of Class 1-A just saying, I don’t care, this is Poindexter’s time to shine here to be the coolest/funniest person in the class. Also, Tucker’s most loyal friend/tester for new support items. 

Wes Weston

Hero name: Vigilance

Quirk: Deduction

He is able to deduct people’s identities to flaws/weak points for him to use against them and  exploit against problems. 

Class 1-B Representative and the most annoying/terrifying person that Danny has dealt with in his life. He was able to figure out that Danny’s quirk is not his own or more so that it's not natural and takes every opportunity to state this regardless if anyone is listening or not. 

Amber Mclain

Hero Name: Ember

Quirk: Fiery voice (50/50)

Her quirk uses the vibrations in her sining voice to conduct intense heat waves onto opponents or utilize to rumble the structures around here and even put out the flames from her quirk. Its like a combination of Present Mic and Endevours quirk but it leaves her with a strained or inflamed vocal cords with overuse. 

Third year student or an upcoming rock star that has certainly gain huge popularity after her song “Remember” was a nationwide hit amongst the younger generation. She’s striving to be the top hero while making her next hit to become the 1# song on the listings. 

Dani

Hero name: Phantwo (lol jk; unsure what her name would be)

Quirk: Poltergeist 

Similar to Danny’s quirk “Ghost”, except she has the additional ability to melt herself to a slimy puddle and use her ectoplasmic slime to trap or surprise opponents.

Clockwork

Hero Name: Clockwork

Quirk: Time Keeper

Clockwork’s quirk allows him to stop time for 5 to 15 minutes and be able to rewind it in the same amount of time. It can be one to multiple objects as long as he touches them in order to interact with them.

Principle of UA in this au. He’s quite a reserved man but still manages to visit and congregate with students throughout the school during lunch period. 

Flynn Fenton/Flynn Walker

Hero Name: The Green Knight

Quirk: Mineralization 

His quirk allows him to manipulate the minerals and inorganic materials in the atmosphere to create into crystalized constructs that are almost stronger than diamond. Luckily, the crystals have no value so he doesn’t have to worry about that aspect of his quirk. He does have to worry about his skin becoming dried out as a result of his quirk usage. 

Flynn is a third year student that loves to check up on his cousin, Danny, any chance he gets bc of the amount of work he does with his internships.

James Walker (or James W. Hausermann)

Hero name: Warden Wraith

Quirk: Plasma Apparatus

His quirk ionizes the electrolytes in the blood system into plasma. His entire body is composed of plasma giving him his skeletal appearance. He can create plasma chains, teleport from point A to B and more as long as he focuses and has enough energy at use. Course, he can have minor to severe dehydration and imbalance in his electrolyte levels from overuse. 

Occupation: CEO of an infrastructure security company/Provisional License Examiner just like Gang Orca.The ghost prison guards become his backup/helpers for the exam phases. (They’re just trained stuntmen with combat or military experience for the occasion).

Also, I like to think Walker has kids in this au who are in the Class 1-A group; they’re not hard to spot they take after their father with their skeletal complexion. 

Skulker

Villain name: Quirk Hunter

Quirk: Tracker

The moment Skulker makes eye contact with his target he will be able to hunt them down and find them anywhere no matter how good they are at covering their tracks. He can lock on to only one target, but he will be able to know their heart beat, quirk, be able to place a tracking/scent line that only he can see and will lead him to his target’s location. It lasts for over a day or a half.

Occupation: Skulker is known for capturing, info-detailing or “retiring” newcomer pros or specific quirk users for his clients that pay him handsomely for their targets, dead or alive. Thanks to Vlad, Danny was strictly intended to be captured alive by Skulker but sometimes he gets too thrilled by the hunt to not have a memento. Trust me, it's more of a dangerous 

Nicolai Technus 

Villain Name: Technus 

Quirk: Technopathy

A genius in his own right, even if he’s a little crazy, with the best ability possible for a man of science and innovation. As long as he knows the makeup and attributes of the machine, Technus is able to completely repurpose or change a machine’s qualities for offensive and defensive qualities. Whenever that be for a mech suit or hacking a high tech system for entry, he’s able to do it as long as he knows what it is and how it functions. An example is repurposing a slot machine into a submachine gun that shoots coins at the target. 

Vlad Masters

Name: Vlad Plasmius

Quirk: Vampire

Can do anything a vampire can supposedly do. However, he was able to manifest an additional aspect of this quirk which is the ability to copy any quirk users ability. Based on the type of blood he ingests decides the amount of time he can use the copied quirk for.

Occupation: CEO of his own hero firm, he is extremely selective with the interns he has that there is a major waitlist to be even consider for Masters Inc. Course, imagine the surprise Danny must of felt when he received an offer from Vlad right off the bat after the Sports festival. 

Bruce Guiles (Bullet)

Hero Name: Bullet 

Quirk: Sphyraena or Chimera Fish

Able to do anything a barracuda can do or the quirk is a 50/50 mutant quirk in which he has both the traits of a barracuda, Chimaeras and a touch of piranha from his parents being of one of these fish species hence Chimera. Bullet can do anything those fish can do overall but he can’t go too long without hydration from water. Water quality and its oxygen content also affect his abilities by a noticeable percentage but he still remains quite formidable as a quirk user.

Occupation: Captain of a coast guard team, he’s a strict military man with an amazing record of saving people from any disasters both on land and sea. Him and Walker are best buddies ever since they went to school together. 

Vortex

Hero Name: Vortex

Quirk: Storm Warning

Vortex can utilize any variation of a natural disaster depending on the environment he’s in. Hurricanes, tornadoes, thunderstorms, you name it he can create it for his use. However, despite his amazing control over his quirk it is still possible for him to create these disasters if he lost control or magnify another pre-existing one if he loses focus. 

Occupation: Storm-chaser/Forecaster; His control and knowledge in combating/predicting these natural disasters has led to him to be part of a storm chasing crew and they’re the best in helping disaster prevention teams evacuate citizens as a result.

Petra Eris

Hero name: Pandora

Quirk: Butterfly Effect

Can manipulate or prevent a chaotic event to happen if she was in proximity and present to prevent it to happen. Or even give a little chaos to the opponent to deal with during battle. 

One of the top ten heroes and most beloved heroes in the country. She is the best strategist in any team and has a way to predict any event before they happen given the necessity of it for her quirk to work in her favor. 

Johnny 

Vigilante name: Johnny 13

Quirk: Unlucky

Johnny manifests his bad luck into a shadow that will latch onto opponents and cause unfortunate events to occur more for that individual as a result. However, the shadow cannot exist in complete sunlight; it can only remain if there are already shadows in his general area or it’s nighttime and its effects are strongest at that time obviously.

Occupation: Johnny is the leader of a biker gang or de-facto leader of said biker gang who loves to raise hell and helping folks that need saving whenever he’s around or is up to the task. Kitty tags along with him to help him out of jams and bc she loves him. :3

Kitty

Vigilante name: Kitty

Quirk: Lovesick

Kitty sends a smooch towards her opponent which if it makes contact causes the individual to have nausea or become disoriented for around 10 minutes. It can also have a chance of lasting longer if the individual was sort of infatuated with her regardless of gender. 

Pariah Dark

Villain name: King Pariah

Quirk: Ultimate Adaptation 

Similar to all for one except with the unpredictability for both the user and opponents. Pariah can manifest any type of quirk needed to defeat anyone that stands in his way both one-on-one and in groups. Course, drawbacks are the learning curve to some of the quirks and that multiple adaptions he utilizes at once will destroy his cells in the process. 

Pariah is a former follower of all for one who had unique quirk that All for one augmented to help him succeed if both Shigaraki and Tomura failed in their own conquest for the world. But now Pariah has his own plans to succeed where they failed and become the leader who shapes a new world order with an iron fist. 

Frederick Kingsmen

Villain/vigilante name: Fright Knight

Quirk: Burning Energy Infusion

Able to form/infuse objects with his own burning energy life force that is capable of burning or slicing through any in his sight. The sweat he gives off is what provides the material needed to ignite his unnatural flames despite it causing his body to overheat still. 

Fright Knight is Pariah’s second-in-command with a loyalty to him as strong as his control over his power. Fright Knight has faced many pro-heros as he carried out the smaller phases of Pariah’s plans and most of them barely came close towards defeating or leaving as much as  scratch on the knight. 

Rodolfo Gonzalo  

Hero name: Wulf

Quirk: Werewolf + Portal creation (50/50?)

Can do anything a werewolf can supposedly do; somehow it allows him to create portals with his claws to locations he has marked with them or visited in the past. 

Wulf was abducted on by Pariah’s forces and sent into the Nomu labs for experimentation to force on another quirk and instill complete allegiance to their cause. Course, Wulf broke free as a result of that new additional quirk allowing him to escape their clutches and his previous one helping him survive the endeavor. However, he lost his memories in the process and could only remember his native language, Spanish, and his hero name Wulf. 

Overgrown

Villain/vigilante Name: Overgrown

Quirk: Plant Manipulation

Can manipulate any pre-existing plant matter or create new vegetation if water and soil is present for the process or he understand the biological makeup of the plant in question. 

Occupation: Pro-hero or eco-terrorist who is tired of humanity from abusing the environment from quirk battles to industries using the land for their own benefits and none others.

That’s all I have for now! I hope this was worth the wait, guys. As well as, inspire ideas for your takes with a DP x BNHA Crossover! 

[hageny]

Succession Thoughts: Gerri x Roman

1. Like a normo.

While on the phone with Gerri in Safe Room, Roman tells her he’s going to stick it out in training and “...become a real boy...” and “...have phone sex with my girlfriend like a normo.”. This last bit is interesting because it is a foreshadowing of what happens later in the episode, where Roman calls Tabitha and attempts to talk dirty with her on the phone and ultimately realizes he is unable to connect with her sexually in anyway, which culminates in him simply hanging up on her and realizing the effort was futile. Immediately afterward, he calls Gerri and begins sparring with her and ultimately pleasures himself while she is on the phone with him. Did the earlier mention of “phone sex” only serve to hint at what was to come, or could this be taken apart as well? Firstly, one could consider that Roman mentions being capable of having phone sex with a girlfriend--which would tie into his enjoyment of “wrong” sex--and sees this as something pleasurable, to be enjoyed with the right woman. Tabitha obviously is not that woman, and as mentioned in my previous post, is seen by Roman as nothing more than an object, something he does not connect to. Secondly, one can deduce that Roman and Gerri are already slated to become lovers later in the series, and this season hints heavily at this happening. Roman mentions the ability to have phone sex with a girlfriend, and then does so with Gerri with ease while she happily engages him. As much as Gerri is molding Roman into the man she needs him to be so they can secure their positions at Waystar, Roman is also molding Gerri into the woman he desires. He pushes and prods her and takes her into darker, sexually charged territory to see if she can fulfill his needs. Is Gerri only going along with this to screw Roman later once she achieves her ends, or does she too desire him equally? I hope the latter is true. 

2. True essences. 

While at the retreat in Argestes, Roman visits Gerri’s room late at night and they discuss their union and how assisting each other will ultimately help them both obtain what they want. Roman refers to them as “Rockstar and Mole Woman”, then quickly dismisses this personification of themselves as being, “our public profiles, not our true essences”. This is interesting because it suggests that this idea of ‘public self and private self’ is part of the core of their relationship. Roman and Gerri both project a facade to those around them: Roman as the womanizing playboy uninterested in power, and Gerri as the indifferent lackey willing to go along with whatever transpires around her. Secretly, however, Roman becomes increasingly interested in obtaining power, and Gerri slowly reveals her discomfort with simply going along with Logan’s ideas. The ease with which Roman both constructs an identity for them and then tears it apart suggests that Roman knows full well that they are playing a game with those around them and that within their relationship there exists a truth of who they individually are that is not seen by others. As the ancient Japanese proverb says: 

“The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends, and your family. The third face, you never show anyone.”

How honest will Gerri and Roman ultimately become with one another?

3. CEO & Chair.

Another point of interest is what Roman mentions to Gerri while discussing the idea of a takeover headed by the two of them. He mentions to her that she would be the executive chair and he the CEO, then quickly reverses the scenario placing her in the position of CEO and himself in the position of chair. This is interesting because of how easily Roman is willing to relinquish power to her and play with the idea of himself as CEO or chair and is seemingly fine with both. This serves to highlight that Roman’s need for Gerri on the surface is solely business related, but in reality his interest in her is deep enough that he is willing to accept whichever position she does not want because his ultimate desire is to keep her close to him. What Gerri thinks about all this is hard to say, but it is worth pointing out that she is the one who pushed him to go into management training, and last season went to him immediately after the disastrous shuttle launch, which she knew could potentially have gotten him into serious legal trouble. This is different from how she approaches Tom in Sad Sack Wasp Trap about the issue with the cruises when she realizes he wants to publicly own up to their deceptive practices. She relates the story of the Sin Cake Eater and essentially tells him to “eat the sins” of the corpse and be content with the riches that come along with sin. Later, she passes Greg and tells him “Good kid. Smart move. Keep talking.”, highlighting her ability to manipulate both of them into doing what she wants. This essentially highlights Gerri’s tenacity and willingness to discard those she views as disinteresting to her. It hints at a darker aspect to her character, which equals Roman’s feelings of disgust toward his own family. This loops back around to the CEO and chair mention because it serves to showcase that like those positions in a company, Roman and Gerri operate in tandem with one another and their need for one another is equal. 

4. Cellphones at dinner. 

I should preface this next analyses by saying that I could be wrong in what I’ve perceived but I’ll mention it anyway in the hopes of sparking some discussion in the comments. 

During the dinner in Hunting, Logan demands that all the members of the dinner party place their cellphones on the table in hopes of sussing out who ruined his move to take over PGM. As they are placing their phones on the table, Gerri uncharacteristically challenges Logan, questioning whether such a demand is even legal and why it’s necessary. The fact that this angers her is interesting, because, as we see later on in the season, Gerri and Roman spend quite a bit of time on the phone together. Gerri has nothing else to hide, presumably, so can we deduce that her nervousness is related to her relationship with Roman? Were anyone to look at her phone, it may be difficult for her to explain the frequent contact with him while her contact with the other members of the Roy family is almost always in person in the office. While most of their talks are shown post-Hunting, this could indicate that what we see later on is simply a continuation of something that has been going on for longer than the audience is aware of. This could explain their intimate scene the next morning as she buttons his shirt, and could also relate to their working the proxy deal in Vaulter together. While the audience doesn’t see what all went on during that time, we can assume that their increasing intimacy in later episodes suggests that something inappropriate was happening already. 

The screenshot above is crucial, because it contains a detail that I may have misinterpreted, but will touch on now. While the others relinquish their cellphones, we see Roman slide a cellphone off the table to his left and hide it in his lap while he hands over the one located in his back pocket. Logan insists on both company and personal phones, meaning all the characters have two. Roman’s of course is later taken from him by Kendall, and this is where it is revealed that Roman was talking to Naomi Pierce and unintentionally destroyed his father’s business deal. However, which phone did Kendall take from Roman? The one he is filming the boar on the floor game with is a silver phone, the one he is usually seen with in the show, most likely his company phone. Roman hides his (probable) personal phone. If wishing to keep it concealed, it would stand to reason that the phone he used to film the game--which Kendall ultimately snatched from him--is the one he placed on the table, which is where all the phones were left anyway. So is it possible that Roman was more willing to get in trouble for his dealings with Naomi Pierce than relinquish his personal cellphone, which could’ve contained damning evidence of his relationship with Gerri? It’s worth noting that of all the characters at the table, only the two of them protest handing over their phones. If the scene the next morning is any indicator, the intimacy between them was already growing to a point that would make it hard to explain to anyone around them. Gerri was also the only one to slip away from the breakfast room to check on Roman, who once again was forgotten by his family, his absence likely unnoticed by them in the first place. Being unnoticed by those around them is another point of similarity; both Roman and Gerri aren’t referred to or called on unless needed by the others to fulfill their subservient positions, then ultimately discarded until they are needed again. Both of them are underappreciated, underestimated, and presumably bitter. Is what we see all there is to their relationship, or is the truth in the details, hidden in the stitching of the clothing that is the show? As I stated earlier, I could always be wrong.

Thank you to all who have commented and engaged with my posts so far. I hope that I will have material enough to continue to do these, although presumably I’ll run out at some point. Regardless, it’s a pleasure so far. 

[lichbarry]

A host’s perspective on Molly, Lucien, and approaching identity (spoilers for c2e117)

This is NOT going to be as eloquent as I want it to be and I can only speak for myself and my own opinions, but this is for @creativside and anyone else who wants to hear this particular perspective. Again, I’m speaking only for myself, not for every single system, especially not for Molly or Lucien fictives. I’m also referring only to DID systems here but OSDD systems, I see you. 

I don’t really advertise it on this blog (or anywhere), but I’m the host of a DID system. My relationship with the system is not quite the same as other systems we’ve gotten to talk to but nevertheless communication has greatly improved since our diagnosis and I dare say that I feel “valid” enough to try to sludge through how I’m feeling about the whole situation with Molly/Lucien. Put under a cut b/c it’s long 

For anyone who might not understand the connection I’m trying to draw: a situation where there is one body that has been inhabited by two different consciousnesses who are not otherwise aware of each other and who have different personalities, abilities, and ambitions is a situation that directly parallels the textbook DID experience. Having people call you by a different name, talk about things you supposedly did with them but have no recollection of, and having people ask or expect that they will be able to talk to this other person in your body whenever they want are all things that pretty much every system goes through. I’m not saying that Lucien has DID, but there are a lot of identical and/or incredibly similar terms and concepts being thrown around regarding him, so for the sake of this thinkpiece I’m essentially going to be acting like he does.

I’m going to make some bullet points and just try to give my two cents on how everyone is approaching this situation:

Molly was a real person, just as much as Lucien. This was discussed by some of the characters, but I’m just validating it. Lucien called Molly a “fragment” of himself-- fragment is a term systems use to describe a certain “type” of alter. DID fragments are alters who typically aren’t as “developed” as some of the others in the system, meaning that they may only exist to feel a particular emotion, store a certain memory, or carry out one very specific function. In my experience, fragments do have names just like any other system member, but likely don’t have much distinguishing personality beyond that. From what we know about Molly when he first “woke up”, calling him a fragment would be accurate. He was, originally, a consciousness who only knew a singular feeling-- emptiness. That’s all he was. But he was still his own consciousness, his own unique person, and as we all saw, he was able to grow beyond his emptiness and develop into a fully realized creation (to borrow a term). His being a fragment wouldn’t have invalidated him as being his own separate person in the first place, but the Molly we knew was no longer a fragment; he was just... a person! By the time we parted ways with him, he was just as complex and unique of an identity as Lucien is. He is not as simple as Lucien is making him out to be, we know this. 

Lucien implied that Molly integrated into him and is not dormant. What do these terms mean? Dormancy (or becoming dormant) is experienced a little bit differently for each system, but generally an alter becoming dormant means they no longer appear in the headspace/inner world, cannot communicate or interact with any system members, and will not be able to front/switch out (take control of the body). In our system, becoming dormant is equivalent to becoming comatose. Due to the way our inner world is constructed, we do know where the “body” of our dormant alter is, but we cannot interact with her in any way, nor does she interact with us or appear anywhere else in the headspace.  Integration, on the other hand, is better explained in the context of fusion from Steven Universe. A few years ago, I (the current host) integrated with our gatekeeper & primary protector (basically the one who managed the functioning of the system). Where once we were two separate consciousnesses who inhabited the same headspace, we are now joined together into someone who is a little bit of both of us, just like when two gems fuse in SU. I also happen to be the core (the consciousness who was in the body when we were born), so it could be seen as her simply “returning” to me, or fusing back with me after having broken off during her formation. Complete system integration is the end goal of some therapies, but there are some alters who view integration to be the same as dying, since the alter as a singular unique consciousness no longer exists but is instead “merged” into the consciousness of another system member.  Lucien said something along the lines of his soul having been fragmented but now fused back together. He appears to believe that he is the only consciousness currently in his body. This means that Molly is not “trapped” inside somewhere waiting to be set free. It also implies that it would not be possible to “get Molly back” as we remember him without finding a way to fracture Lucien’s soul again. Depending on your view of integration, you can view this two ways: 

Molly is Lucien, and/or Molly is dead. Matt’s slips of the tongue in continuously calling him Mollymauk further supports the idea that Molly is integrated, not dormant, and therefore is Lucien in one way or another. Molly was, after all, a part of Lucien all along, and despite having developed into his own personality in the wild 2 years he was fronting for, all that he was are now part of what Lucien is. That being said, it is clear that Lucien, just like Mollymauk, is his own person with his own goals, quirks, abilities, and personality traits. Aspects of Mollymauk do live in him, but being fused does not mean that we’re going to recognize all parts of who Molly was in who Lucien is now. Lucien (we’re assuming) is the core, the original consciousness of the body, and is thus far more developed than Molly ever had the chance to be. They’re the same person in the sense that Molly is no longer a separate entity, but not the same person in that Lucien has any of Molly’s memories or would suddenly feel compelled to start acting more like him just because they integrated. 

Mollymauk is not back; Lucien is. The Mollymauk we knew is not there anymore, and it’s a good time to mourn him. I don’t know what kind of DND fuckery Matt or the cast might be able to do, but from my perspective of what’s going on, Molly isn’t going to suddenly pop out or break free or anything like that. Mollymauk as an individual died when we saw him die, and I think the Mighty Nein are at least starting to realize that. Lucien even genuinely offered his condolences. Again, it’s DND, there’s always some chance that they might find a way to talk to their friend again, but by this point the idea is making me uncomfortable. Trying to separate Molly from Lucien again at this point feels... unnatural and disrespectful. No one has ever sought to de-integrate the alter that I integrated with, but I would be very disturbed if they did, and the idea of doing that even in this context unsettles me. Find hope in the possibility if you want to, but I’m probably never going to support it. Molly is a part of Lucien now and I think both we and the Nein need to accept that. Lucien may be evil, but he has just as much right to be in control of his own body as Molly did (arguably more, but I’m not getting into that debate). Whether you like Lucien or not, it’s his body, now only his, and no one has any right to take that away from him.  I know it’s not exactly the same and it’s probably not how people mean to come off, but I can’t help imagining me in this position. If someone was very close with the alter I integrated with and did everything in their power to try to make her split off again, even if it meant harming me or making me lose autonomy over my mind & body... you can see how that’s a very uncomfortable thought, at the least. Again, I’m not saying anyone is inherently bad for wanting Molly back or missing him, I’m just saying that the situation we’re being presented with is that it’s only Lucien now and we & the m9 should respect that. If you want to mourn Molly, now’s as good a time as any. You even have Lucien’s blessing. That being said...

Lucien doesn’t want to know about Molly, and that’s fine. As someone pointed out (I think Jester?), Molly didn’t want to know about Lucien either. As is the case with a lot of systems who don’t have well-developed communication, they’re practically strangers to each other. All they knew about each other is what was on their body when they woke up and what other people (also strangers) told them they supposedly did once. Again, parts of Molly exist in Lucien, and I’m sure aspects of Lucien existed in Molly, and even now there are some similarities to draw. But neither Lucien nor Molly have any obligation to feel kinship towards each other. In their eyes, they are two completely different people who have never interacted. Systems only start to feel like families after a long time of having good communication, of developing relationships, of working through trauma or the complications that come with having DID. From what we’ve been told, Molly and Lucien likely never even developed a headspace or been in a situation where they would’ve had the possibility of actually meeting. People are just talking to them about someone they didn’t know and honestly the typical response is to just nod along in the moment and decide if you really want to unpack that later. And not wanting to explore who this stranger who inhabited your body was is a completely valid response! Especially given that Lucien doesn’t explicitly have DID-- he doesn’t have the goal of trauma recovery, nor does he have any reason to find out more about who Molly was given that he’s now supposedly fully integrated.  Again, it’s more a matter of autonomy. Lucien is his own person, and to him Molly might as well have been something he called himself when he spent 2 years blackout drunk (which, let’s be real, is a pretty accurate comparison). Sometimes it’s fun to hear accounts of what other system members got up to when they fronted, but that’s only after years of therapy and working through my own feelings about having DID. Before that, there were times when it felt like a frustrating invasion of privacy, or an unnerving sense of losing control of not only what I did, but what it meant to be me. I don’t really see Lucien struggling with these things, but I’m just saying that there’s only so much he can be expected to care about who Molly was given his circumstances. 

This got super long and I’m never sure how to conclude these things, or if that’s even all my thoughts on the matter. Send me asks if you want to I guess, just please be respectful. I’m not trying to start any arguments, I’m just giving my perspective/how I feel about this situation as a system host. 

tldr; Molly integrated with Lucien and it’s more respectful/probable to assume that he’s not coming back the way people wanted him to. Getting Molly back the way people expected is incredibly unsettling to me because it takes away Lucien’s autonomy and basically says that Molly is more important than Lucien’s control over his own body because we like Molly more.  Their situation does resemble the experience of being part of a system in a lot of ways and I don’t know how to feel about it besides just kind of awkwardly going “ahaha” and looking around to see how singlets are approaching this. 

Again, not saying there’s a right or wrong way to feel about this, nor am I “diagnosing” Lucien with DID. Just talking about connections I’ve made and the things that I relate to/make me uncomfortable. Whether Matt is aware of how much this situation resembles DID or not, I think that he’s handling it incredibly well and have no complaints about Lucien or Molly’s characterizations. 

[spiffyspuffy]

My Mystic Messenger Opinions

(That no one asked for)

Zen

Character: 8/10 I know a lot of people think Zens annoying but I find him endearing. One of the best things about this game is the complexity of the characters and I love that Zen’s cockiness is actually how he hides his insecurities. Even though he’s egotistical about himself, he’s never shallow with MC. He says multiple times that he doesn’t care about MC’s looks. He loves her for who she is and shows this in how he makes an effort to get to know her and be her cheerleader everyday. An underrated thing about Zen is how emotionally intelligent he is. He’s great at helping the RFA members when they need emotional support (Yoosung’s grief over loosing Rika, Jaehee crying from the stress of her job and MC’s shock at almost being kidnapped). 

Route: 2/10 Zen is a great character and he deserves a better route. The false rape accusation plot is horrible and offensive. Also, his route functions as an introduction to the game’s plot, so it’s exposition heavy and lacks action. The creators said that the lesson of his route is that when our insecurities are handled in a healthy way, they can push us to be better people. I love this message and I wish it had been highlighted more in his route.

Romantic Potential: 9/10 Zen is arguably the most dateable of all the characters. He’s a bad boy without being sketchy. He’s protective without being possessive. He’s kind without being a pushover and he’s smart without being pretentious. His biggest drawbacks are his overconfidence and and how busy he is with working. There aren’t any glaring red flags. 

~ More under the cut ~ 

Jeahee

Character: 7/10 I love this adorable theater nerd! She comes across as formal and stuffy at first, but reveals herself to be passionate and funny the more you get to know her. I gave her a lower score because she does have a strong personality that rubs me the wrong way sometimes (her jealousy of MC in Zen’s route, her lack of sympathy towards Jumin in her own route and her general rudeness towards Yoosung). She is the most mature of the RFA though, so her exasperation is warranted. Being mature and grounded also makes Jaehee the least complex Mysme character. I’ve got a lot of respect for her though!

Route: 5/10 Getting to engage in discourse about capitalism and the patriarchy? Amazing and hands down the best part of her route. It’s really inspiring to see Jaehee stand up for herself and choose to follow her dreams. I think it’s important for every young person to hear that they should have a positive work/life balance and demand that their employer supports that. Other highlights are Seven helping Jaehee by making the Power Point presentation for Jumin’s cat project, getting to fangirl with Jaehee over Zen and the creepy stalker plot. I thoroughly enjoy her route and the only reason the score is so low is because some of the other routes are seriously incredible.

Romantic Potential: 8/10 Jeahee doesn’t have any red flags either. I think she’s perfectly capable of having a healthy, romantic relationship with MC. The biggest issue standing in their way is Korea’s bias against lesbian relationships. As a fellow coffee lover and theater enthusiast though, I could definitely see myself or someone similar having a happy life with her, even if it might have to be in secret.

Yoosung

Character: 6/10 I can’t stand people who aren’t competent. Yoosung is a terrible cook, he barely cleans and he doesn’t pay attention to his studies. On top of that, 80% of his personality is that he’s a gamer AND he’s in love with his “dead” adopted cousin. Yuck. ~ But ~ I understand that he’s depressed and depression can seriously effect someone’s executive functioning. Taking all of those negatives away, we’re left with a young man who’s trying to his best to be taken seriously, which is something I can relate to. It’s nice to see imposter syndrome represented and I admire his loyalty to his friends. 

Route: 8/10 This route is sooo good! Who can forget the night when the RFA starts being aggressively stalked by Minty Eye? And the pic Zen takes of a believer looking at him through his apartment window...chills. His route only gets better from there when he infiltrates Mint Eye with Seven. This is the first time we get to see the twins interact and damn, is it confusing. But in a good way!!   The biggest drawback is that MC is stuck in Rika’s apartment and doesn’t play much of an active role in the story. 

Romantic Potential: 7/10 Despite all the negatives I listed about Yoosung, I do think he’s capable of have a healthy, romantic relationship with MC. Yoosung is also the only true sub of the RFA men, which is a definite plus for some players. Yoosung’s yandere side is a huge red flag though. MC better watch out if she doesn’t dote on him as much as he wants. Once he falls for her, he’s all in. 

Jumin

Character: 5/10 Unpopular opinion, but I hate Jumin. I understand that he’s some people’s guilty pleasure though. Jumin’s good aspects are that he’s intensely loyal, an animal lover and has a dry sense of humor. I appreciate how devoted he is to the RFA and it’s members. He offers to help Zen multiple times (albeit rejected), sends everyone body guards in his route and pays the hospital in the SE to keep Saeran’s identity top secret. What I’m not a fan of is the way he obsesses over MC and traps her in his house. This isn’t the first time he’s shown obsessive tendencies either. Seven explicitly states that Jumin acted this way with Rika in the past. Huuuge red flag.  

Route: 3/10 His entire route is fraught with rich people problems. I’m supposed to sympathize with him for an arranged marriage? All he had to do was say no. His father couldn’t force him. He’s possessive of MC because women have only ever wanted to be with him for his money? Not an excuse. Elizabeth going missing was a vaguely interesting story line, but Jumin’s relationship with his cat was cringey enough to overshadow the drama of it for me.

Romantic Potential: 3/10 Jumin has some serious issues. He’s never had a good female role model which has given him a deep seeded hatred of women. Remember when he tells MC that respecting women goes against his core beliefs? Yikes. Then, after meeting a woman who respects him and he actually likes, he locks her up and tries to change everything about her (cutting her hair, buying her a new wardrobe, teaching her the ‘proper’ way to walk, etc). We’re supposed to believe Jumin learns to be better by the end of his route, but he still proposes to MC after only a week of knowing her! I’m having a hard time picturing Jumin in a healthy relationship. 

Saeyoung

Character: 10/10 I’m not saying Saeyoung is a good person. Far from it actually. But he IS very well written and extremely interesting. In the other routes, Saeyoung is energetic and funny, bringing much needed humor to heavy moments. It’s always a joy being in a chatroom with him. Then you have the reveal that he actually hates his job and that he was faking his personality, all to a sad and slowed down version of his theme song. This plot twist shook me to my core. What makes him so well written is that the devs did a good job dropping hints to his real personality in the other routes that players might not notice during their first play through. 

Route: 9/10 This route is a wild ride from start to finish. This is when the plot threads from the other routes come together and start make sense. This route has secret agents, assassins, a deadly bomb, kidnapping, an evil twin, a powerful cult... It’s action heavy while still carrying enough emotional weight to make me cry every time. Saeyoung’s route is heavy and emotional and sooo worth playing. 

Romantic Potential: 6/10 Saeyoung has a shady job and a complicated past. Choosing to be with him means putting your life in danger every day. If you’re okay with that, he’d be a decent romantic partner. He’s a little rough around the edges, but I do think he has potential to become more like his ideal self (God Seven) after reading his AE. He’ll always have that mean and serious side to him, but I don’t think he’s hopeless. 

V

Character: 4/10 He’s low-key the worst. I sympathize with his trauma from being abused by Rika, but I don’t understand why he feels the need to fix everything by himself. Rika might be the source of most problems in this game, but V is partially responsible for standing by and letting her get away with everything. 

My first issue with him comes from encouraging Saeyoung to join the agency. I know Saeyoung didn’t have many options, but how was encouraging him to train to become a hacker and assassin the best option?! On top of that, he stalked Zen per Rika’s request and took creeper photos of him, failed miserably at protecting Saeran and don’t get me started on how he loves Rika unconditionally. V has some good characteristics but I really don’t care about those when he’s so terrible otherwise. 

Route: 10/10 This route is *chef’s kiss* the BEST. I wouldn’t call it a romance since Vs barely in it but damn is it riveting. Saeran is the perfect amount of loving and unhinged, MC get’s to know Rika on a personal level and V finally gets to be active instead of just reactive like he is in all the other routes. It’s also  satisfying to find out how much V has been keeping secret and to get a glimpse into Rika’s psyche. But what really makes V’s route stand out among the rest is that there are spy action scenes like in Saeyoung’s route, but the player also gets to spend time in Mint Eye.

Romantic Potential: 7/10 I’ll be honest. I don’t think V will ever be able to move on from Rika. He’ll always love her, as evidence in his AE. Besides that drawback, I do think he’d be a good romantic partner for MC. V was never the issue in his past relationship with Rika. She was the abusive one and he was 100% the victim. I think he would treat MC just as well in their relationship as he treated Rika. 

Saeran

Character: 7/10 I know I’m not the only one who loved the suave and cunning Saeran of the main routes who, after getting the therapy he needed, became an adorably shy and awkward man. Sadly, that’s not the character we got in AS. Instead, we met Ray, the split personality of Saeran’s psyche. Ray is charming and sweet as well as possessive and manipulative...which is something I’m into. But it’s not for everyone. Saeran’s real personality in AS is revealed to be angry and abusive and not at all similar to who he was in the main routes. I’ll give Cheritz props for writing a fairly accurate portrayal of disassociative identity disorder, but I think Saeran’s characterization is inconsistent. I get the impression Ray was an afterthought when creating AS. 

Route: 7/10 A mixed bag for me. I really enjoy any chatroom/scene with Ray. He’s undeniably creepy, but those scenes were entertaining in a dark romance kind of way. On the other hand, the Saeran scenes had a lot of unrealized potential. Abuse is never cool. All his route needed to fix this was a scene where Saeran explained to MC that he was pretending to hate her to appease Rika and the other believers. While this fake hatred is implied, I think it needed to be outright stated. It’s also hard to believe that Saeran overcame his DID in the course of one night. I know all routes are limited to 11 days, but this one needed more. Highlights of this route are Saeyoung being kidnapped by his father and of course, dark Yoosung with Elizabun. 

Romantic Potential: 7/10 I truly do believe that Saeran could go on and live a happy life in any of the endings where he escapes Mint Eye and receives therapy. While we only get a glimpse of what an emotionally stable Searan looks like, we know that he was kind and attentive with MC. Saeran is a giver and would do anything to make MC happy. Red flags are that Searan is still clingy at the end of his route. Yoosung makes a comment that he’s always holding MC’s hand when he sees them together. Also, his DID is something that will occasionally return and that’s something MC has to go into their relationship knowing. 

[liskantope]

A few tired thoughts on impeachment and Trump

So, impeachment. Or, to back up a bit, Georgia solidifying its new identity as blue-leaning background state, immediately juxtaposed with a violent insurrection, a public falling-out between the president and vice president (for the first time I think since 1832, and now extreme MAGA people want the VP’s head on a stick, final proof that they are truly part of a cult rather than just passionate about policy), calls to invoke the 25th amendment, and an impeachment, in barely more than a week.

I already wanted to write a post like a week ago putting some scattered thoughts into words, but more and more kept happening, and I got sort of burned out thinking about it all, and I’m actually quite tired now so I think this will come out fairly short (edit: as usual, it didn’t really).

I’ve had a lot of mixed feelings on impeachment and what the impeachment process is really about. Managed to express some of them on Facebook and have a helpful and enlightening dialog, amazingly enough. I’m still sticking with my resolution to mostly quit social media and certain YouTube channels once immediate political situations died down (which I had thought would be after the run-off elections but clearly the day-by-day developments are continuing until Inauguration Day), but at least that kind of exchange has been a decent enough note to go out on.

I think one of the main potential traps in this whole thing is assuming that what happened last Wednesday was a direct result of the speech Trump had immediately just made (although this Twitter thread I just saw makes some very good arguments that it was, so the epistemic status of this point is not very high-confidence). The case for impeachment was largely being framed as “speech on January 6th was a direct incitement of breaking into the Capitol building and threatening the lives of congresspersons and the VP -- look, he even used words like ‘fight’!”, and the NYT for instance put phrases like “Trump speech incites riot” in its headlines and news articles. This seems like a fairly easy argument for the other side to knock down. Trump never told anyone to be violent; he even used the phrase “peacefully and patriotically” at one point (though not the part everyone quotes); and phrases like “we fight like hell” are used with a non-physical meaning by politicians all the time (and particularly often by The Young Turks, who highlighted the phrase as “proof” of incitement!).

And at the same time, Trump was absolutely, devastatingly responsible for the travesty that happened, just not through the particular speech immediately preceding the event, but through weeks and months and years of meticulously (inasmuch as he does anything “meticulously”) grooming a cult following and weaving an alternate-reality narrative with an anti-democratic twist to it regarding the election, fanning flames and riling up the hardest inner core of his supporters to such an extent that now in retrospect it seems like something like Wednesday’s event was bound to happen. The post-election tantrum has actually disgusted me to my core in a rawer way than almost anything else he’s ever done (I know things like kids ripped from their parents and kept in detention camps is worse on a direct level, and this all speaks to my privilege, but I have a Thing about the meta-level sin of trying to mess with our self-correction and bring the presidency closer to a dictatorship), and as far as I’m concerned, a second impeachment is well deserved.

But to actually argue this requires invoking psychology and “social sense” or social intuition, and that catch with Trump -- one of the most fundamental themes of his behavior as a campaigner and president, in fact -- is that to effectively argue that anything he says is reprehensible requires analyzing these more subtle psychological effects and connections, while both sides tend to stick to interpreting his literal words which almost always can be interpreted on their face as meaning something much more innocuous. In these case there’s often a nudge-nudge-wink-wink or dog-whistling layer to what he says which both sides often refuse to actually investigate in arguments: anti-Trump people just insist that it’s sitting out there so starkly that no justification of its existence is needed, while Trump defenders entirely refuse to engage by saying to just look at the words he said in the most literal way possible. This has played out again and again and again for over five years; the incitement issue even just feels like the climactic final culmination of it. I’d like to see just for once a national debate over Trump’s recklessness where the two sides weren’t just talking past each other in this way.

But maybe I shouldn’t be thinking at all about what a substantive debate would look like, or seeing Trump punished on a basis of rhetoric that fully exposes how exquisitely and subtly profound his negligence as a leader and human being has been rather than arguing back and forth about a particular speech: as my friends have reminded me, impeachment proceedings are a purely political endeavor. For whatever reasons (tradition and propriety?) the congresspersons stand at podiums and give arguments but they aren’t particularly meant or expected to persuade. (Okay a lot of it is about the people watching and each of their political futures, I guess.) Maybe it doesn’t matter if none of the arguments are particularly strong ones. I’m biased against the idea of the proceedings being entirely political because it disgusts me and seems to betray the ideal vision of how Congress is supposed to work, but I imagine it’s reality (and certainly not the most disgusting or distressing aspect of reality right now).

I didn’t get a chance to catch much of the House debate this time around but I did listen to a lot of it during Impeachment Take 1 in December 2019. At the time I wanted to write a lengthy post detailing how pointless it all ways but it coincided with a sudden rush to grade my students’ exams in time for the holidays and so the post never happened. But it was really striking how almost interchangeable the Democrats’ speeches and the Republicans’ speeches were (it was almost perfectly divided along party lines as I recall), how often the same particular handfuls of phrases came out of almost every single congressperson in each sides’ arguments (I can’t remember the phrases now). It was almost as if each politician had cobbled together their speech by copying off the same model and rearranging a few paragraphs and orders of phrases. The little I saw of the speeches for Impeachment Take 2 in the House suggests that they were a little less uniform, but I doubt they were much more substantive.

Anyway, at this point all that really matters to me is for the Senate to vote to convict. I’m not too optimistic that this will happen and hope that the House politicians put enough emphasis on analyzing the likelihood of this when deciding to impeach, because the first impeachment didn’t actually seem to do much good and a second one might do more harm than good without actual concrete punishments coming Trump’s way as a result. But if they do, it will be as satisfying as possible a postscript to the whole humiliating debacle of the past four years as I can really ask for, outside of non-government actions like arrest and imprisonment.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Lucifer Morningstar is an introvert.  A very awkward and unusual introvert.

In an attempt to not create a bunch of random side-blogs, I’m just going to drop this here.  Sorry Doctor Who/Torchwood fans.

With the whole covid-19 thing, I’ve been trapped at home more than I had anticipated recently and I was looking for something a bit more fun and frivolous to watch so I finally gave Lucifer a go.

I honestly don’t know why it took me so long to get to this, my brother had watched it when it was on tv and had mentioned it in passing several times.  Suffice to say, once I finally gave into Netflix, I found it to be quite an enjoyable watch.

What really struck me in the serious is how it becomes obvious that Lucifer is an introverted character who is hurt.  Wait - what you are thinking?  He’s an introvert?  Oh man, he’s totally a huge introvert.

Let me walk you through why he’s clearly an introvert despite a quick glance at his outward actions.

1.) Hiding in plain sight. 

An interesting aspect to his personality is how he hides in plain sight.  When he moves to LA, he rents the building that houses Lux and his penthouse suite.  Lux is a place where he is surrounded by people, if he wants to partake in revelry all he needs to do is go downstairs and party with people in the club.  However, he can also retreat to his place easily which is surprisingly well stocked with books and another piano for him to play in private.  I doubt all of his books are for show, he frequently denies thinking deeply about things, but he always seems to be one step ahead of others which has always implied to me he plays the “I’m smarter than I look/act” card.  Early on in the show, he occasionally invited people up to his place to party but it wasn’t a common experience.  Think of the pizza delivery guy being invited to stay and party.

Despite his love of drinking, drug use and sex, he makes it quite clear that drinking and drug use rarely have an effect on him for long.  He is rarely hung over or wasted since his metabolism clears the alcohol too quickly for him to feel it and on multiple occasions he states he mainly drinks as he likes the taste.  One of the few times he was high was after he smoked a massive amount of pot at the teenage delinquent recovery farm as indicated by him sitting at the detective’s desk eating potato chips and dipping them in nutella realizing it was an amazing flavor combination.  For him, drugs seem to simply be something that is fun and a way to amuse himself and based on his drinking, it is mainly a way to meet and socialize with people.

As far as the sex, it is clear that he uses his casual hook-ups as a fun distraction.  To avoid any possible intimacy with others, he hides behind the fact that sex is a pleasurable act and by keeping his sex life 100% casual, no person in his or her right mind would even consider dating him.  He has made himself impossible to be seen as possible long term boyfriend in a steady relationship.  He likely struggles with his own angelic power to pull out people’s desires and his ability to seduce them.  Since his default is to have people literally throw themselves at him, he likely sees most of them acting in response to his powers and necessarily to him as a person.  As he wants people to follow their desires and free-will (as he simply removed the inhibitions that were present and did not create them) he gladly indulges them as well as himself.  If I were him, I’d be like “well why not?” an attractive person wants to sleep with me, sure do it, no harm, no foul.

I found it most telling based on how sensitive he is to his sexual reputation as well as his ability to meet his current sexual partner’s needs.  First off, when a random kid pretended to be him, he was incredibly upset that his imposter lacked his skills.  He’s Lucifer Morningstar, he has skills and a reputation associated with them.  Secondly, when the detective decided to interview his previous partners for the past 8 weeks (all 92 of them) two things were very obvious i.) he went to great lengths to make sure no matter what he did, that person had the most amazing sex of his or her life ii.) not a single person he slept with saw it as anything more than an amazing night of no strings attracted sex.  His actions did not inspire them to want more of a relationship from him.  How his facial expression become quite sad as all 92 of them stated it was just empty sex showed how alone he is. Another unusual trait is that he has been the most sexually responsible angel ever.  Granted, the vast majority of angels were never going to have sex in the first place, yet he has a much more responsible track record than Amenadiel.  It is clear that he has had sex with thousands upon thousands of humans over the years and he never once resulted in a human-angel pregnancy.  This may also be linked to the fact that Amenadiel by default, desires a ‘normal’ regular relationship while Lucifer has been avoiding having a “normal” relationship.  It would imply that if he found someone to have a kid with, he would be in a “normal” long term relationship with that person.

Overall, his first career on earth was to make sure he had an establishment that represented what he felt others perceived as his core personality, that as the devil, he would have to surround himself by partying and temptations.  Owning Lux is a way for him to keep up appearances and maintain his public persona as well as his persona that is seen by celestial beings.  Lucifer is a classic example of a character who is totally alone in a crowd.

2.) Few close friends

Another true introvert trait is to have a small tight knit group of friends.  Lucifer fits to this exactly.  He has excellent social skills, and again due to his former job and his nature, yet does many actions by smooth, polite and calculated actions - from a distance.  His job of granting favors is based on how he knows someone, who knows someone, forming a vast network he has to draw upon to make sure that the favors work out the way the person would like them to.  He doesn’t do the favors though because he cares for the person, more than he seems to do it to pass the time until he finds a job with more meaning.

It is starting his second job as a civilian consultant for the LAPD that his preference and need for a small friend group becomes obvious.  The most obvious one is his relationship with Chloe. 

Chloe Decker: He is first intrigued at why his powers do not work on her, his immediate physical attraction to her as well as seeing her as a kindred spirit also drew him to her. She is the outcast of the department and he knows all too well what it feels like to be the literal outcast.  As a result of their common situation and the fact he can’t sway her, the two of them can speak openly and honestly.  Granted, the biggest issue with his relationship with Chloe is the fact that she denies the obvious truth that he tells her even though she has seen enough evidence that he likely is not some random British guy living in LA running a high end nightclub.

As their relationship deepens he begins to find comfort in the fact that despite his inability to influence her, she still appreciates his company and values him as a friend and a work partner.  Even though he panics and holds her miracle status against her at first, he comes to realize she can’t be held responsible for something she has no control of and is unaware of.  Linda time and time again tries to get him to realize that he keeps her away due to his absolute fear that she would reject him.  Since she’s the only person who could accept him as is, it means her acceptance of him is the biggest risk to his own heart in regards to her. 

In part, his complicated relationship is tied to his fear that she would reject him, so him loving and caring for a single person as he does for her is too risky.  He’s a seriously hurt dude, he’s terrified of being hurt anymore by someone he cares for.  Chloe really takes a long time to realize how deeply he is hurt.  I get that she’s his opposite but I do felt out of all of the characters, she got short end of the stick in regards to character development.  Everyone else has had major changes and realizations yet she only sort of struggled with Lucifer’s identity in the first half of season 4 and she was off her “mark” when she was a bit preachy with him.  Thankfully, she stopped that bit and realized that he more needed her to listen to him and to support him.  It really got that concept that sometimes you need to just be there for someone and not try to fix it - since Chloe is a fixer. 

Mazikeen:  She is his right-hand woman.  The only demon to leave hell to follow him to earth, she first acted as his personal assistant, running the day to day operations of Lux and also working as a bartender.  Despite all of their conflicts, they care deeply for each other and have each other’s back.

The hardest part of growth in their relationship is when it went from master-servant/boss-assistant to more that of peers.  Even as he began to change in how he worked with humans, he keep their relationship as their default from hell.  He really hurt her feelings since she developed feelings and both of them are terrible at expressing them to others.  They have a relationship and work dynamic that they had for thousands and thousands of years - it is pretty impressive that they are learning and growing in a relatively short time period to respect each other and mature.

I found the most emotionally moving parts between them to be in season 3 when Chloe begins to get involved with Cain/Pierce and he expresses his worry that at least he has her and she’ll never leave him.  Maze interprets this as him being selfish and treating her as his number 2.  She lashes out at him and all he does is look back at her in return is hurt as he almost quivers.  Since she was his right hand woman in hell, she is the person with whom he has had the longest and most trusting relationship with since being cast into hell.  Did he phrase things in a way that helped in the situation - no.  But was he telling her his honest feelings that he really does feel like she is someone who is always there for him and supports him - yes.   When she goes behind his back to work with Cain/Pierce, he’s hurt and feels betrayed.  Sure, some of it is karmic payback for the times he’s hurt her, but after his failed experiment with Abel, he has every right to not just pop willy-nilly between earth and hell.

I have the vibe that they will eventually settle into a sibling like relationship treating each other the same way he interacts with his angel siblings like Amenadiel and Azrael.

Ella Lopez: So far Ella has been the only human friend that he has worked with with whom he hasn’t used his angelic charms on.  He was uncomfortable around her at first; she’s religious, she’s outwardly friendly and very much into giving hugs.  Ella “wastes” her time on what he would see as pointless pleasantries in the office.  Yes, Lucifer will lay on the pleasantries, but his always have a purpose - Ella’s are just her being nice.  He did like her opinion that the devil got a bad rap, but then she kept thinking he was a method actor in addition to being a nightclub owner.

Despite their obvious differences the two of them are both very straightforward people who have a strong sense of personal justice and are dedicated to solving the crimes.  He quickly begins to joke around with her and with her four older brothers, she finds no issue with dealing with his antics - it is more like par for the course. 

The fact that Azrael also couldn’t help but become friends with her seems to indicate she has some sort of personality that celestial beings really like, especially those who have the shittier jobs e.g. Lucifer running hell and punishing and Azrael being the angel of death dealing with, well, death.  The fact that she made sure Ella would become friends with Lucifer was really sweet and even though he was at first upset since he doesn’t like people trying to manipulate with him, he realized that Azrael’s action was in right place. She got her favorite brother and favorite human to become friends since she knew they would get along even if she couldn’t be with them - you know, having the whole angel of death as her day job.

His love of Ella as a friend though came out when her older brother Jay was in town and mixed up in the illegal diamond cleaning.  Yes, he brought his own feelings with his older brother into the mix, but he was correct.  Jay is not the absolutely perfect brother, he was involved in shady stuff.  I think when he confronted Jay was one of the best scenes in regards to him standing up for and protecting his friends.  He made it very clear that if Jay ever hurt Ella again he’d be in trouble as he knew how important it was to her to continue to see her brother in her own most positive light.

I really get the vibe that they feed off of each other being goofballs - Ella was a nerd and picked on as kid and had a lot of issues to deal with.  He’s the cast out son, they are both outcasts on the rebound and they like to have fun with each other.  This really comes to a head in season 4 when Lucifer, Chloe and Ella go to the nudist colony.   Chloe is a complete stick in the mud and by the time she turns around the two of them are naked and ready to go.  As adults on their own and away from their family and their former “teenage” issues they finally get to be who they want to be and I just think their dynamic duo antics are adorable.  She is the friend that will do silly things with him while Chloe remains too, well stoic. When Ella has her crisis of faith, Lucifer doesn’t fan the flames instead, he’s confused how to react so he doesn’t tell her what to think.

Trixie:   She immediately loved Lucifer from the moment she met him.  He is incredibly awkward with her.  He’s not sure to do with her little kid hugs, he tries to not hold her hand when they investigate the elite private school.  Yet, no matter how frequently he calls her a little urchin and doesn’t understand why she likes him, she grows on him.

I personally loved her bedroom sign in the first season - “Trixie’s room - no boys allowed - except for Lucifer.”

Trixie is a classic example of kid radar seeing people for who they are; she accepts Lucifer and Maze with no judgement, she just sees them as these rad adults whom she can play with. 

I really liked when he tried to buy her the new doll since she destroyed her old one - in a way he respected her kid logic - did it teach her a lesson - no.  But it was a logical extension as a means to an end.  He came from a background of illogical parenting so to speak.  He dealt with rules that didn’t always make sense it is clear he spent too much time pondering them thus leading to his current situation.

Does he like other children still? Not really, he still didn’t know what to do when he touched a kid’s head with a little pat as his backyard picnic with Cain as he wiped his hand on his sweater.   Yet, since he has gotten to know Trixie through his interactions with her it is clear that he likes her.

Dr. Linda Martin: Dr. Martin is my fav female character on the entire show as she is a compassionate, caring and intelligent individual and a secret badass.  Her relationship with Lucifer started how all of his interactions with people who desire him do - with her wanting to sleep with him.  Over time, she realizes that she can’t and shouldn’t be sleeping with him and he also begins to realize that he can work with her without having to pay her with his body and pay her the normal way - with money.  He learns to treat himself with more respect and not just give away himself to her.  Showing a bit of a shift in how he sees himself with those he actually knows.

I think she really was his first example of how to have a normal human transaction with well, a human.  She is incredibly patient with him and even when he reveals his true self to her, she is able to accept him with a little nudge from Maze.  Despite being overwhelmed due to his families odd demands on her and almost killed by his very upset and stressed out mother, she protects him as a client and as a friend. 

Sure, he always interprets her advice in interesting ways and she knows him well enough to realize that he avoids things and is in denial but she always still cares for him.  He also does frequently figure out what she wants him to realize - he just likes to make it more difficult for himself.  I wonder if the more that they got to know each other, his ability to influence her waned as she saw him as more than a playboy and he saw her as a doctor who could help him and later as a good and trusted friend.

Most importantly, she never gives up on him and truly believes in him despite all of his detours and distractions.  When he has his identity crisis in season 4, she is the first person he shows his devil wings to.  This comes from a place of deep trust in her and even though she can’t help him, she is there for him as a friend. 

I don’t think he’d ever admit it to her directly, but Lucifer likely understands that Linda’s friendship with Maze has helped Maze grow as a person - er demon - and her advice has helped him in how he interacts with her learning how to change his relationship with her from boss-assistant to more that of peers and friends.

Dan Espinoza: Oh yes, despite all of their stupid male ego headbutting, Lucifer is friends with Dan and he does care for the man.  When they first met, Dan was definitely a being a bit of a dick to Chloe; mainly by keeping his own secrets to protect her even though it drove her nuts.  If anything bothers Lucifer more it is people lying and hiding things from him.  Lucifer is almost pathological with telling the truth and not lying; and well Dan was not the most honest at the beginning.

So of course, he received full on Lucifer hazing; once the police admin punished him by demoting him for messing with evidence he slowly became more sympathetic to Dan.  He did use his skills to get Dan to admit that he wanted to correct his mistakes and when Dan started to lose it with Azrael’s blade, he saw that Dan was a stronger and more complicated man than he wanted him to be.  If Dan were a simple man, driven by simple desires and actions, Lucifer could write him off.  But Dan isn’t, his biggest change is when he realized he needed to stop calling him Detective Douche and actually call him Dan, in part due to Dan standing up to his teasing.  

Was it right for Lucifer to keep up his petty antics for so long?  Likely not, but Lucifer learned that some of Dan’s actions and personality traits are actually good things and his day shadowing Dan was annoying for poor Dan, but at least allowed him to realize that not everyone is the same.

Lucifer also has been more honest about his feelings in front of Dan than many others - when they went to get a favor from the Russian mob boss, he freely admitted his own hatred for himself and how he hurts everyone he cares about. If he said that in front of Chloe or Ella, both of them would rush to tell him it isn’t true and he’s being too hard on himself.  Instead, Dan kept his distance and realized that both of them think the grass is greener on their side of the fence.  Lucifer is secretly jealous of Dan’s more simple approach to things and Dan thinks Lucifer truly is careless and wishes he could be a flippant as he appears to be.

Dan really is a reminder how how Lucifer is unable to open up to others and make himself more vulnerable.  Unfortunately, this results in Dan frequently getting hurt and he makes epic bad decisions in season 4 out of grief over Charlotte’s death, blaming Lucifer for all of his pain.  But no matter what happens, it is clear that Lucifer would not wish for bad things to happen to Dan as he is a good guy and a capable detective.

Is their friendship a perfect one?  Far from it, but both of them really do try to care and support the other guy as long as they aren’t pissed off at each other.  It likely doesn’t help that Lucifer’s friendship with Dan is pretty much his only one with a normal human guy.  He’s got plenty of angelic brothers and Cain really isn’t normal by a long shot so it makes Dan even more important to have him in his circle of close friends.  As a 100% totally normal dude, Dan acts frequently as the ‘in’ to understanding (or really lack of understanding) what is happening.

Eve:  I just finished re-watching season 4.  I’m still not sure where I’d place Eve in all of this.  She’s only in season 4 so far and based on her actions, I’m not sure I’d call her one of his close friends. If anything she was pretty much an impediment to all of his relationships - albeit maybe not quite on purpose . . .  she’s a woman who still hasn’t figured out who she is despite realizing she needs to not define herself in the context of a relationship. 

Sorry for not having more thoughts on this, I need to ponder it more. 

What I will say is that their relationship issues stem from the fact that he is an introvert and she’s an extrovert.  He realized that Eve was a “bad” influence on him and he struggled to express his feelings to her.  The fact that it takes him shouting out at her that he “doesn’t like who he is when he’s with her” was painfully difficult for him to say.  It is clear that he cares about her deeply and he wants her to be happy.  Yet, he can’t and really doesn’t want to deliver on her actions or feelings.  The worst part is that it tears him up inside since in a way he saw her as a possible long term partner which was a big deal for him.

3.) Works either alone or in small groups. 

When it comes to his role with the LAPD, Lucifer’s modes of action are not that of a typical extrovert.  He is either working closely with his partner Chloe, or occasionally with Ella or Dan.  He is never part of a large group nor is he taking a typical leadership role.  Due to his need to protect others and his need to get answers as quickly and directly as possible, he frequently goes off on his own.  In part, this is so that he can take full advantage of his angelic powers and immortality, but also to protect those he cares about.  Sure, he walks into a Korean gang headquarters and tells them to come out, but he doesn’t try to chit chat or smooth things over with them.  He goes in, finds the head boss and pretty much strikes a deal with him that he can’t refuse.  When he wants an answer his methods are far too direct.  Find suspect/target/person and just question them or threaten them and then question them.  There is no charming and social games.  He can’t be bothered with banal pleasantries when he wants to know something.  If Lucifer were a true extrovert he would want to talk to others and feed off of the energy he gets from being with them - yet - he never has shown this.  He sees getting information as a task he needs to complete as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Even though he is hurt when Chloe and Cain become closer and begin to hang out or work cases without him, he still shows up and does work to help out with cases.  He also is good at working by himself and is able to work things out when he applies himself.

He also has an excellent sense of intuition when reading people.  Of course, one of the major aspects of the show is that he projects his own issues onto others.  This leads him off of what they are doing sometimes, so his read isn’t quite right.  But he is perceptive when he sees odd behaviors and is able to connect things without full information.  This is both what he did with Ella’s brother Jay and more importantly with Pierce/Cain.  He invites him for a drink and then stabs him with the knife.  He looks incredibly nervous after he kills him as he can’t kill a human as an angel - he keeps switching between trying to be calm and have a drink while he waits for him to wake up with a nervous sweat.  Did he know for sure Pierce was Cain?  No, hence the nervousness until his intuition was proven correct was his true feelings on his gamble.

Furthermore, when he does work with Chloe or others, he always has their back and will go to any length to work with them.  This to me indicates that he finds working with a select few people with whom he can trust is how he is most comfortable and he doesn’t need to be the center of attention and the one in charge like how he was in charge of hell. It is clear that by the end of season 4 even though he returned to hell it wasn’t because he enjoyed to or wanted to - it was because he had to protect everyone he cared about.  He also has a natural chemistry and ease working with Chloe where even in tough situations they instinctively know what to do and how to act.

4.) He expresses himself through actions. 

Lucifer is an incredibly hurt individual.  He was punished by having to take a job that he didn’t even want or even desire and most of his family abandoned him.  He’s terrified to open up and show his true feelings and pain to others as they would take advantage of it as a weakness to hurt him further. Honestly, I think he still doesn’t quite understand how his actions landed him in hell.  He was questioning the establishment and it is clear he thinks deeply about rules and how they influence others.  Anything he thinks is illogical he ignores as he can’t be bothered to care to follow those rules and conventions.  I think about how he made Chloe rethink the “swear jar” for Trixie - he pointed out rules without a clear basis don’t make sense.

Since he struggles to express his feelings in a way to help others. e.g. mainly in his denial/fear to tell Chloe he truth does two things; i.) he makes it about him or ii.) he tries to demonstrate through his actions.

The making it about him method, is a subtle way where he wants to know how to solve his own problem to help him understand or interact with others.  But since he doesn’t want to say for example “I need to figure out how Cain can die since I promised him and I am true to my word.” he instead hides behind the idea of “I need to find the author’s killer so I can read how she got over her writers block.”  By extension, since the manuscript is an instruction guide, he thinks he’ll learn something so that he can follow through on his promise.  It is a very obtuse way to act, but since he hides behind his narcissistic facade no one will understand he’s not doing it for himself.

As far as his actions, he really shows it when he reorganizes Chloe’s desk; he realizes that she deals with all the paperwork and since she is capable she gets even more paperwork piled on to her workload.  He cleans up her mess and anal retentively arranges her pencils and makes sure the right angles on the files are all lined up.  He also found a method of filing that makes more sense to him and it inadvertently helps her find the missing piece of evidence for their most recent case.  I liked how he color coded everything.  Did he need to add the picture of him in his underwear as her backdrop?  Hell no, but he figures out that since she likes him, what’s wrong with her seeing a part of him that she likely will never see.

This also gets him into trouble; again, buying the doll for Trixie, trying to out perform Cain in gifts for Chloe and always seeing things as a competition.  He wants to give people physical proof of his care for people without actually saying it.  Specifically he wants to express his care through a tangible amount of some sort of physical object.

5.) He hides behind his narcissistic behaviors. 

As Lucifer struggles to come to terms with himself and expressing his feelings he has hid behind his narcissism.  What is a great way to keep people away from you and keeping your distance from them?  Being completely self-absorbed with yourself that no one would ever want to be friends with you.  His narcissism is a HUGE turnoff for the vast majority of the population.

It is so clear that he wants to develop close relationships but he’s so afraid of hurting others and even more so hurting himself. He’s hid behind his hedonistic behaviors and his self-absorbed actions for thousands of years.  He really is a very particular person; he is constantly adjusting his sleeves under his suit coat, his shoes are always perfect, he moisturizes and his hair is styled elegantly.  He likes things arranged elegantly and it shows how important control is to him.  If he is 100% in control of everything, again he’s protected from being hurt.

As he works at the LAPD and forms his important friendships, his appearance changes.  In the first season, he wears black or dark grey suits, his shirts are white, black, dark purple, dark blue and grey, if I recall correctly.  He keeps his look simple and professional, almost cold.  His matching pocket squares are also basic and mainly a single solid color with few patterns.

Yet overtime, he becomes more adventurous in his appearance, he starts wearing more light blue shirts, he begins to add in more color with burgundy, forest green, and even a caramel colored suit.  His pocket squares become more interesting with patterns and more color combinations.  With the increase in color and variety he appears much more approachable and has more of an air of friendliness even though he still only cares for his small group of friends.

A case that was a real struggle for him was with the online dating app for “fabulous” people - Top Meet.  He wanted to continue to judge people based on superficial appearances, as it has been his own wall and it has served him well.  When they ultimately confront the killer, his own knowledge of nature and narcissists allows him to save the day by tossing the head sculpture at him and the detective can apprehend him.

His car serves as both another front and also shows how he longs for few intimate friendships or relationships.  He’s got that lovely little Corvette and it is a two-seater.  He doesn’t drive a giant, flashy car that can fit lots of people.  Instead, he has a small almost cute (I personally think it is cute) car that only another person can sit in.  He only wants to ride with one person at a time as he values his close relationships.  Yet, having a car that only can fit one other passenger shows a part of his narcissistic front - that only a person who he’d see as worthy would be able to ride with him.

Overall, by looking at how Lucifer chose to have a job on earth in a nightclub where he could simply hide was the first indication he’s an introverted character.  The longer he has been in LA, the more close friendships he has formed and they are very important to him as well as his oldest friendship with Maze.  When he realized that Maze was attracted to Eve, he noticed it, but hasn’t made mention of it yet (likely that will happen in season 5).  The fact that he noticed it meant he really has stopped seeing her as his right hand woman and more just as an individual with feelings.  His close friendships really show that he’s an introvert not an extrovert.  It is obvious that he gains meaning and connection from these close relationships in a way he never experienced before.  His preference for working either alone or in a small team also shows that he is much more comfortable as well as his preference to express himself through actions as opposed to using words since that is much harder and more uncomfortable.  Lastly, by hiding himself from all others behind a self-absorbed image he has been able to keep others away from him for thousands of years.

The major point about his character growth is learning that having a small support group of real friends and family he can find what he’s been looking for.  A place to belong and be accepted.

[anniesarthistoryblog]

A Review of three works from the ‘Shape and Form’ Exhibition at @heartofthetribe Gallery, Glastonbury

As our final assignment for our Art History module for @strodefad​ we were required to write an essay discussing eithere an art history movement or a recent exhibition visited. Always up for a challenge i chose to write about the brief opportunity I got to see an art gallery between lockdowns in the new gallery that i am fortunate to have just a few minutes walk from my home here in Glastonbury.

What made it a really special experience was that i managed to contact two of the three artist I chose to include in the essay and they very generously answered my questions about their exhibit pieces to give me some context and process insights as first-hand accounts and it was wonderful to be able to ask the creators quesitons about their work and how they made it. The exhibition had high quality contributions from over 30 Somerset artists, so it was hard to select just 3 works, but  I managed and got the essay completed in time.

This is an analysis of three selected works from the ‘Shape and Form’ exhibition at the Heart of the Tribe Gallery in Glastonbury. The gallery only opened in September 2020 and despite the restrictions caused by the COVID pandemic, this was the third exhibition that the gallery has managed to stage since then.

Following a core artist group launch exhibition ‘Diversity’, and solo exhibition ‘Beauty and Truth’ by John Minshull, this exhibition was a collation of works submitted by 30 Somerset artists following an open call for contributions from the gallery core artists and online directory members.

Curated by gallery manager Kim von Coels (aka artist ‘The Krumble Empire’), the aim of the exhibition was ‘to explore the fundamental building blocks of visual art, both geometric and organic’. The exhibition was open from 3rd December -26th January and I managed to see it twice before lockdown restrictions came into force. A virtual tour (1) is also available here

1. Millie Gleeson: ‘All We’ll Know’

The Painting was displayed in a prominent position on the last wall as you exit the exhibition, directly opposite a canvas featuring an abstract female form in greyscale graphite, and the scale of this canvas (60 x 48 inches) made it really stand out.

I saw Millie’s solo show also entitled ‘All We’ll Know’ at the Red Brick Building in June 2019. She uses reference photographs to help with composition and is heavily influenced by her time in Berlin and Mexico.

Many of her works feature masks painted on the (mostly nude) female subjects, so what I found fascinating about this piece was that the face was illuminated and prominent and she is swathed in billowing robes.

I contacted the artist for more information on the context and process of the painting.

She told me this is a self-portrait, painted from a 'still' of the artist performing in a music video her friends (the Hics) produced, also called "All We'll Know"( 2 )

Gleeson started began painting this in 2014, but it was put into storage until she revisited to complete it in 2019.

She commented ‘it was a huge time of transformation and the end of an era and perhaps I had to return to the painting when I felt I'd fully transformed.’

The Painting has lots of movement, which is representative of the video it is sourced from, the performers are in an industrial setting and are either submerged under water, or as captured in this image, rising up and breaking free. The robes are flowing and there is a sense of movement in the arms and legs. Her website (3) describes how the work was developed as part of a series developed during an Artist Residency at Arquetopia in Mexico.“The residency applied Levanasian ethics to the artistic process, teaching to respect the integrity of differences and question the desire for totalisation. Questioning whether you can truly know the other and if you only know the self, how can you respect the space between?” “Any creative project I have embarked on at the core has revolved around the topic of identity or identification. Following the residency lectures my project became entirely introspective, leading me on a journey of self-discovery. I began to look at my own shadow, distortions, fractions, mirror images, deep and dark aspects of myself. Using the vibrant colours that surrounded me I began to explore my own conflicts and duality through a series of self-portraits, in an exploration to “All we’ll know.”I really resonated with this piece as it reminded me of the Salvador Dali painting ' Christ of St John of the Cross’ I saw at the Glasgow Kelvingrove museum. Light comes from above and the arms are widely placed. The pale blue colour palette and rich drapery in the dress against the dark background is similar to that shown in ‘The Countess of Southampton’ ( 4) (Anthony Van Dyck 1599-1641), seen at the Cambridge Fitzwilliam museum.

Ruary is an Edinburgh-born artist who has lived and worked all over the world and is a gallery core artist working in an attic studio above.

He is inspired by nature and psychedelic culture (6) and another of his works ‘Sacred Chaos’ was chosen as the exhibition feature image.

I interviewed the artist to learn more about the context and process behind these works. Ruary explained that “Trap Dance was a process-oriented piece, created as an experiment using masking tape to create random abstract geometric forms”.

The piece depicts two females and a male dancing, with Cubist and Italian futurists-influenced segmentation and distortion of the figures. The artist noted that the title ‘Trap Dance’ is a pun, as the two female figures appear to be being pressed together by the male dancer (Allen quipped it should have been called ‘Tape Dance’). The experimental process with repeated randomly placed masking tape and paint until the forms emerged, resulted in an abstract image.

The artist saw the forms of the dancers appearing and added them at late stages of development. It is more narrative in comparison with the cover piece ‘Sacred Chaos’; which was another process oriented, straight-edged construction using platonic forms, mathematical constructions, intersecting circles and combining them to make a striking abstract image. The artist has a lifelong interest in Alchemy in art and alchemical symbolism, and this is evident in the works presented here (7).

The colour palette is cooler at top and has more vibrant and darker tones at bottom, with a spotlight in the top left corner, which the artist suggests is reminiscent of a stage or nightclub scene. There is lots of movement as the figures are interweaved amongst the abstract shapes.  

This painting is hung in a long narrow corridoor directly opposite the toilets (another ‘trap’ reference?) and adjacent to the exit door to the garden space. The works surrounding the piece are smaller in scale and have less visual impact, and I think that having to stand so close to it makes it more of an experience as the viewer is drawn into the movement and abstract forms on the canvas. There is no opportunity to stand back and see the work in a wider context so one is trapped like the dancers in the image.

3. ‘Lost Toys’ by Julie Ackerman .

This is an installation assemblage sculpture piece selected from a collection of 10 museum themed boxes. (8). The work is inspired by the ‘cabinets of curiosities’ or ‘Wunderkammer’ (as described by Anastasiya Gutnic from the Metropolitan museum of art here with an example from the German artist Nicolaus I Kolb) (9).

The cabinet is displayed with a second piece called and ‘Science Lab’ and both are relatively small in scale requiring the viewer to lean in close to see the details.

Key elements of a Wunderkammer are:

·       Naturalia (natural, found objects),

·       Artificialia/Artifacta (mand-made, abstract objects), and

·       Scientifica (scientific instruments and technological items)

The cabinet contents are carefully considered to reflect the message that the artist is trying to express, and fits the categories described above.

I chose this piece as the lockdown period has made many of us question what is important to us and question our consumerism and its’ environmental impact.Using upcycled packaging and materials has been a theme of my own creative practice this year.

The artist states on her biography (8)

“I was compelled to take on the challenge of using unwanted objects and materials as an art medium. Raising awareness of a world in crisis through art is paramount in my work. By transforming waste into beautiful works of art, I hope to inspire and encourage the 'Art of Recycling' turning a negative situation into a positive one.”

The artist goes on to state “The impact of overpopulation means greater demand on natural resources and an escalating waste problem. We need nature to thrive by reducing our demand for new materials, leaving nature intact.”

In the ‘Lost Toys’ cabinet a collection of sticks and a pine-cone (Naturalia) are surrounded by a plastic ‘monster’ (Artificialia) and assorted toy animals. A green butterfly rests on a branch with a wooden ’tribal style’ peg and a ‘protective’ dragon flying overhead and a lurking toy hairbrush in the background.

The second cabinet has scientific paraphernalia (Scientifica) and a skull with glasses, references to the impact of sanitary waste and plastic pollution on marine life. There are also humorous touches, like the small creature and drawing pin on top of the skull.

This fits with the exhibition theme as it invites the viewer to examine how the items relate to each other and to our own experiences. Viewers will respond to the individual elements and interpret their relationships differently.

The placing of the cabinets in a transition space between two rooms containing large paintings is also an interesting variation in form and requires a different type of interaction by the viewer.

Summary

The aim of the exhibition was to explore the fundamental building blocks of visual art, both geometric and organic, and the curator has selected a broad range of 2D, and 3D exhibits to really allow this theme to be represented. I found it quite difficult to select only three works for this essay as there was such a high quality to choose from.

These three selected artists have interpreted the theme in quite different ways, but one gets a sense of shape and form from all of their works shown.

References  

1.       Shape and Form Exhibition Virtual tour: https://www.infohost360.com/heart12/

2.       Millie Gleeson – The Hics reference video "All We'll Know" https://youtu.be/RB2MweTwfQY.

3.       Millie Gleeson website: https://milliegleeson.co.uk/all-well-know

4.       Van Dyck Image reference found in Fitzwilliam Museum Cambridge guide, p37. 2016 ISBN: 978-0-9574434-9-5

5.       Image sourced from https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/rachel-de-ruvigny-countess-of-southampton-as-fortune-5613

6.       Ruary Allen Artist Bio:  https://heartofthetribe.com/portfolio_page/ruary-allan/

7.       Ruary Allen Artist website:  https://artalchemist.com/

8.       Julie Ackerman Artist Bio: https://heartofthetribe.com/artist-directory-view-by-artist/user/77/

9.       Cabinet of Curiosities reference video: https://youtu.be/j6q10euArks Nicolaus I Kolb (German, 1582–1621). Apothecary Cart, 1617–18. Veneer: ebonized pearwood (Pyrus communis), ebony, partially gilded silver; carcass: conifer; interior: protective quilted cushion covered in red silk, drawers and chest lined with red silk velvet; gold, trimming; mounts and fittings: brass, partially gilded; thirty-two (32) vessels and utensils: glass, partially gilded silver, low carbon steel, leather, 11 x 11 x 9 1/16 in. (28 x 28 x 23 cm). The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, Purchase, Anna-Maria, and Stephen Kellen Acquisitions Fund, 2019 (2019.229.1a–c–.32a, b)

10.  Cabinet of Curiosities reference description: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabinet_of_curiosities

11.   Dr. Beth Harris and Dr. Steven Zucker, "How to do visual (formal) analysis," in Smarthistory, September 18, 2017, accessed January 28, 2021, https://smarthistory.org/visual-analysis/.

[flightfoot]

Many of the side character’s stories and development in Trials of Apollo mirror and support Apollo’s own development

One of the things I love about ToA is how many of the other characters’ stories, their situations, their development, mirrors and compliments Apollo’s own development, reinforcing the story of how Apollo changes from being a selfish, arrogant, shallow, apathetic person, to one of the most selfless, humble, aware, and empathetic people in the Riordanverse.

Meg Mccaffrey

Obviously Meg’s story is the one that mirrors Apollo’s the most. I’ve already talked about this in past analyses however, and it’s so blatantly obvious I don’t want to waste time making a point that I’m sure all my readers already know. Maybe I’ll make another analysis focusing on Meg later, but I’ll skip over her for now.

Calypso

Fairly superficial similarities here. Calypso is also a former immortal who’s learning to deal with the loss of her powers (though not TOTAL loss) and being thrown into the demigod world headfirst. The emotional core of their experiences is different though, since Calypso’s whole thing was that she was trapped on an island (albeit a nice one) under house arrest for thousands of years. Apollo wasn’t really trapped like that. Even saying he was METAPHORICALLY trapped is a bit of a stretch, Zeus doesn’t seem to have been to involved in the day-to-day business of what Apollo got up to.

Lityerses

This one IS fairly similar actually. Lityerses is controlled and manipulated by his father, and it sounds like he’s okay with that - like he’s as bloodthirsty as his father is.

“Right.” He regarded Calypso. “I think I’ll keep you alive long enough to kill you in front of Valdez’s face. That’ll be fun. But this former god here...” Lit shrugged. “I’ll just have to tell the emperor that he resisted arrest.” (TDP 152)

But there are hints that maybe there’s more going on there. His muttering of “I hate that” when Midas casually mentions accidentally turning Lit to gold in The Lost Hero, him being glad that Apollo gave his father donkey ears, his casual mistreatment by Commodus - all of it gives the clues that maybe there’s a REASON for his attitude, for his behavior.

What it does NOT do, however, is hint that Lit could be a better person. None of any of the heroes’ encounters with Lit actually suggests that. That’s a leap of faith that Apollo makes, hoping that MAYBE, just maybe, Lit will be a better person if someone gives him a chance. If someone shows him kindness, helps him when they have no good reason too. He identifies with Lit. The hidden depths that Apollo’s shown as a mortal... they wouldn’t be apparent to a casual observer of him as a god. Heck, APOLLO didn’t know they were there! He’s constantly surprised at himself, at the kind of person he is now, at the sort of things he’ll do. Apollo gives Lit the chance he wants people to give himself, the sort of chance that he didn’t even really realize he needed. Showing him - showing Apollo - showing Lit - that level of kindness, mercy, and concern, when there’s no ulterior motive, showing it just because this is another person, and they haven’t really done anything to ‘earn’ compassion beyond that simple fact - that threw both of them for a loop.

In Apollo’s case, he really started appreciating others compassion in THO, when his children took him in, treated him as family, cared for him, said they’d protect him against anyone who gave him trouble.

“If anyone gives you trouble, Kayla will shoot them. Then I’ll curse them so bad they’ll be speaking rhyming couplets for weeks.”

My eyes watered. Not so long ago - like this morning, for instance - the idea of these young demigods being able to help me would have been ridiculous. Now their kindness moved me more than a hundred sacrificial bulls. I couldn’t recall the last time someone had cared about me enough to curse my enemies with rhyming couplets.

“Thank you.” I managed. I could not add “my children”. These demigods were my protectors and my family, but for the present I could not think of myself as their father. A father should do more - a father should give more to his children than he takes. I have to admit this was a novel idea for me. It made me feel even worse than before. (115)

It makes a difference here that his kids are helping him when he couldn’t offer anything back. If he’d still been a god, he wouldn’t have given their help much thought. He would’ve just thought that he was entitled to it, and that it’s not like he’d REALLY need them anyway. But this? This is different. They’re helping him just because they care - it’s not anything transactional. Apollo isn’t used to thinking about relationships this way - not for the most part anyway. His relationships with Artemis and Leto are solid, and he seems to have genuinely cared for Hyacinthus, genuinely loved him as a person, and cared for Asclepius quite a bit, but aside from that? Not so much. Certainly not caring about someone who’s practically a stranger.

This set an example for Apollo, one that he carries forwards to Lit. Lit also has never been shown this sort of kindness before, kindness when he’s at his most vulnerable, compassion without an expectation of a return, and most especially, compassion when he’s given Apollo and the Waystation residents every reason to reject him. And that compassion is enough to cause him to break down, to rethink his whole stance on life. Seemingly overnight, he changes from being the brutal, cruel killer who would murder Calypso in front of Leo just to hurt him that much more, to being a lost person just looking for something or someone to live for, to fight for. And having found it, he suddenly softens, becoming kinder, more balanced. 

But it’s not really an overnight change, is it? This other side has always existed, it’s just been hidden under layers of bravado and cruelty. That’s why both Lit and Apollo are able to change their mindsets so quickly - not all the aspects of what they’ve learned is truly “new”, they just haven’t applied them like this before, or not for a long time. Apollo’s experienced these sorts of caring relationships with Leto and Artemis at least, so they’re not totally a foreign concept. I’m betting in Lit’s case that he and his sister, at least at one point in time, did truly care about each other. The difference is seeing it applied more broadly to themselves by people who don’t already know them well, and then applying it to others that same way in turn.

Piper

Piper’s whole identity crisis has similarities to Apollo’s own. She was thrown into a situation where people expected certain things of her, and she just kinda... conformed to them. Which isn’t to say that she might not have chosen them herself on her own, but she didn’t really get that choice. Now that she has the time and has had a chance to think, she’s trying to find herself, figure out who she is. Her dad being financially ruined throws a wrench into it, but both of them returning to their roots, her father seemingly having more time to spend with her - those aspects are familiar. Apollo’s now figuring out who he is, now that he doesn’t have “being a god” to define him, along with everything else associated with that. His having his godhood stolen, and only now spending time really getting to know his kids and his demigod half-siblings, along with many, many others, is like how Piper’s dad now has time to spend with her, time he didn’t have before - a silver lining in this whole mess. 

Apollo’s advice to Piper seems to be talking about himself nearly as much as it’s talking about Piper.

“It’s been my observation,” I said, “that you humans are more than the sum of your history. You can choose how much of your ancestry to embrace. You can overcome the expectations of your family and your society. What you cannot do, and should never do, is try to be someone other than yourself - Piper McLean.” (265)

With how Apollo’s grown throughout the series and ESPECIALLY in TTT, this fits him as well. Apollo is more than the sum of his history, of what he has done, of what has been established by the older gods. He can choose how much of his past - and his family - to embrace, and overcome the expectations of his family, both godly and mortal, and of godly society. And he will do it by being himself, his WHOLE self, including the parts of his being that he’s been nurturing as a mortal, the compassionate, empathetic parts of himself.

Jason

Jason is a little different, because I don’t think his development, his situation parallels Apollo’s CURRENT situation, so much as Apollo’s future development. His willingness to sacrifice himself, to be the one who dies so that his friends can survive, wanting to keep secret about the prophecy so that Piper doesn’t try to stop him, so that hopefully he can keep her safe, even if it means merrily walking to his own death.... I’m expecting Apollo to get into a similar situation in TON. Though there are elements of that he’s already lived through, since he ALREADY chose Meg’s life over his own in TDP, and in TTT, he tried to conceal and downplay just how badly he was hurt to try to stop Meg from worrying as much.

Frank

Frank carries his mortality - the stick that’s attached to his life force - around with him. He’s decided that in order to lead the Legion effectively, he has to put one hundred percent of himself on the line. He can’t let fear hold him back. 

Apollo’s mortality is also on the line all the time. Originally he wanted to hide away, to cower behind others so as not to die (not that he actually tended to go THROUGH with it, either because he couldn’t or he wasn’t willing to abandon them) but now? Now he doesn’t even try. He wants to live, that’s true. But he values his companion’s lives more. He won’t hesitate to put himself on the line, to commit himself completely if he believes that it gives them a greater chance of survival.

The greater parallel however comes later, with Apollo’s hypothesis for how Frank survived his stick burning up. He believes that maybe since Frank took charge of his own destiny by willingly sacrificing himself, that he was freed from his old destiny and forged a new one:

“It’s just a guess,” I admitted. “Frank went into that tunnel knowing he might die. He willingly sacrificed himself for a noble cause. In doing so, he broke free of his fate. By burning his own tinder, he kind of… I don’t know, started a new fire with it. He’s in charge of his own destiny now. Well, as much as any of us are. The only other explanation I can think of is that Juno somehow released him from the Fates’ decree.” (393)

I don’t know how plausible this explanation is. Honestly, it kinda sounds like BS to me, especially since Jason did the same thing and HE died. But what’s important here is what APOLLO thinks happened. His explanation says as much about him as it does about what he thinks happened with Frank.

Breaking free of your fate by accepting, by EMBRACING your own mortality, putting everything on the line, sacrificing yourself completely in order to have a shot of stopping your friends from being hurt or killed... it’s similar to what happened with Jason, but with the added twist that Frank survived and started a new story, free of his previous destiny.

The destiny thing is really important. As a god, Apollo’s not ‘supposed’ to be able to change or mature. The gods seem to believe that their nature is more set in stone than mortals are. But Apollo has disproven that. He’s changed a lot, and has continued to change. He’s forging his own destiny, one different than he ever imagined it could be. And maybe, just maybe, one that Zeus won’t have control over. One that’s truly his own.

Don the Faun

Don has only a small role, but what Apollo says about him - what he thinks about him - says a lot.

“Hey, Apollo, you- you know the difference between a faun and a satyr…?”

[…]

A moment later, his body collapsed with a noise like a relieved sigh, crumbling into fresh loam. In the spot where his heart had been, a tiny sapling emerged from the soil. I immediately recognized the shape of those miniature leaves. Not a hemlock. A laurel - the tree I had created from poor Daphne, and whose leaves I had decided to make into wreaths. The laurel, the tree of victory.

One of the dryads glanced at me. “Did you do that…?”

I shook my head. I swallowed the bitter taste from my mouth.

“The only difference between a satyr and a faun,” I said, “is what we see in them. And what they see in themselves. Plant this tree somewhere special.: I looked up at the dryads. “Tend it and make it grow healthy and tall. This was Don the faun, a hero.” (398-399)

Here, Apollo’s noting that the difference between satyrs and fauns are purely societal. That there’s no inherent difference between them. Like the difference between gods and mortals, mentally, isn’t that different. Gods may be more powerful, but they’re still people, like mortals are. The differences between them, psychologically, have more to do with how society sees them, and how they see themselves. Having had his godhood stripped away, this is very apparent to Apollo. Because he’s still himself. A better version of himself, in fact, but that has nothing to do with him being mortal - not in and of itself. But with the things he’s learned as a mortal. He can be a hero, truly. Because he is just as capable of such things as any mortal.

Reyna

And lastly, there’s Reyna. She too, like Frank and Don previously, broke free from expectations to forge her own path. 

“My whole life, I’ve been living with other people’s expectations of what I’m supposed to be. Be this. Be that. You know?”

[…]

“But you showed me. When you proposed dating…” She took a deep breath, her body shaking with silent giggles. “Oh, gods. I saw how ridiculous I’d been. How ridiculous the whole situation was. That’s what healed my heart - being able to laugh at myself again, at my stupid ideas about destiny. That allowed me to break free - just like Frank broke free of his firewood. I don’t need another person to heal my heart. I don’t need a partner… at least, not until and unless I’m ready on my own terms. I don’t need to be force-shipped with anyone or wear anybody else’s label. For the first time in a long time, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. So thank you.” (405-406)

Reyna thought that she was supposed to find a partner. Everyone else thought she needed a partner - needed romantic healing. Until Lester asked her out. Until she saw how ridiculous it was to let others expectations - or curses, or whatever you’d call Venus’s little prophecy - control her life.

Apollo has a similar thing going on with letting expectations about what he’s supposed to do, about who he’s supposed to be, control what he does - or did, at least. I’ve gone over that already, so I’ll skip past that.

But the romantic angle? About thinking - or having others think - that she needs to be healed romantically? That also falls in line with Apollo’s development. Apollo’s had a LOT of romantic relationships, and a decent number of them have ended in disaster. He seems to be convincing himself that some romance will “fix” things, like with how he convinced himself that getting together with the Cumaean Sibyl would fix things:

But that wasn’t enough for me. I was smitten. I convinced myself it was love - the one true romance that would wash away all my past missteps. I wanted the Sibyl to be my partner throughout eternity. As the afternoon went on, I coaxed and pleaded. (131)

But he wasn’t in love with her, not truly, or his love wouldn’t have turned to hate so fast when she refused him. He just really WANTED it to be a shining romance, one that would finally fix things.

He actually does seem to be finding this sort of fulfillment now, but not with romantic relationships - with more platonic, familial relationships instead, such as with Meg.

I’d always wondered what it would be like to have a younger sibling. Sometimes I’d treated Artemis as my baby sister, since I’d been born a few minutes earlier, but that had been mostly to annoy her. With Meg, I felt as if it was actually true. I had someone who depended on me, who needed me around no matter how much we irritated each other. I thought about Hazel and Frank and the washing away of curses. I supposed that kind of love could come from many different types of relationships. (192)

I don’t think he’s realized it yet, but in a way, Meg seems to be “washing away” his curse of loneliness, of feeling empty. Taking care of her, connecting with her, bantering with her - this is what he needed. To be a protector. To be a friend. Romance is fine, but they’re not the only fulfilling sorts of relationships. 

Honestly with Reyna and Piper both taking a break from romance in order to find themselves, I think that Apollo may lay off the romance for a bit after ToA’s over, work on his more platonic relationships instead. I don’t think he’d swear it off, but maybe look for something more steady than he was before. And with the experiences he’s had as a mortal, I think he could better recognize truly serious love versus a temporary infatuation.

Final Thoughts

I really love how focused this series is on developing Apollo! A lot of aspects of this series seem geared to do that, from who the antagonists are and how they act, to the storylines of the side characters. It allows a level of development for Apollo that’s deeper and more nuanced than with any of Rick’s previous protagonists, even Percy. I look forward to seeing how Rick will conclude his development. If his writing for Apollo in TON is as solid as for previous entries, I’m sure it will be worth the wait.

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, SCAR! You’ve been accepted for the role of CRESSIDA. Admin Julie: Scar, your app for Celeste was phenomenal. You had us hooked from the first plot in a way that we loved. You demonstrated through both your prose and plots that Celeste is a multifaceted woman with many masks, capable of cruelty and kindness in one without even knowing it -- something we often look for in portrayals but don't always find. Your emphasis on her own personal selfishness was a cherry on top of the cake, too, a breath of fresh air, a reminder that not everyone in Verona is for the greater good. Some people, like Celeste, are only trying to survive; you demonstrated that beautifully. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Alias | Scar.

Age | 22.

Preferred Pronouns | She/her.

Activity Level | I should be good to hop on two-four times a week for replies and I’m generally available for chatting on Discord.

Timezone | MST.

IN CHARACTER

Character | Celeste Duval / Cressida

What drew you to this character? | Celeste is wholly representative of her name. She’s made of stars and moonshine, of infinitely growing forces trapped by bone and flesh. We romanticize the stars and gaze upon them in all their glory but fail to acknowledge the birth of one is one of the most violent things that can happen in the universe. And that’s the same story with Celeste. We can fall in love with her and her starry eyes and dazzling personality but we’re blind to the annihilation that’s tucked behind her molars and the poison that laces her honeyed words. She’s a representation of all our strongest feelings— love and anger, fear and confidence, lust and disgust— intertwined and mangled to the point of not knowing where one emotion ends and the next begins. Characters who are cold and detached are the ones perceived as the biggest threats but really, what is more dangerous than hot-blooded emotion?

Celeste has always been too much, too curious for her own good, rising above her place, her gender, demanding in the way that was only accustomed to the boy kings, slamming their tiny fists on the table and asserting their power, their wealth, their gender. No one knew what to do when it came from Celeste. Her father gave up on her the moment he realized he couldn’t control her, and her mother quickly followed suit. But she wouldn’t be so easily spurned. She’s brilliant, was the thing. Power has surged through her veins from the moment she realized she was a woman in a man’s world. She’s learned to compensate for her delicate features and by being so lethal that she couldn’t be ignored. Her intelligence has been sharpened to a point, carefully tucked away beneath girlish laughs and an effervescent smile. She’s as cunning as her father and twice as subtle and this is perhaps where his resentment of her lay: he had condemned her to a life of mediocracy and she had looked him in the eye to be anything but.

Her bones are made of diamond — made of wrath and jealousy and spite and scorn — but her heart is soft and that is perhaps her greatest strength and her greatest weakness. She’s been groomed to be cynical through the environment she was raised in but her heart is untouched. There are moments when she wishes to let the cruelest parts of her take hold but her heart will deny that pleasure, favouring to neatly fold that pain and tuck it away in the back of her head— a momento. The beating organ works as a filter, combing through the pain to find slivers of humanity to ground her. She allows tears to freely cascade over soft cheeks and laughs so loud that the room shakes. She dances naked under the moonlight without a care in the world and smashes fine china against marble countertops at the slightest inconvenience. Her heart is a wild and unstable organ and that is why she’s akin to the stars.

God truly is a woman and she comes in the form of Celeste Duval.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character?

I AM THE KNIFE THAT WILL SLAUGHTER HEAVEN | At twenty-three years old, does anyone really know who they are or what they’re doing with their life? Celeste, I believe, is no exception to this. She’s twenty-three years old and her whole life has been laid out for her. Yet somehow, she’s managed to spit in the face of everyone and everything and walk away with a cherry-sweet smile. She’s had a childhood that calcified her bones into diamond and walked into a position that sharpened her teeth into daggers. She’s filled with a childish, bullish swagger that really only twenty-three years olds can possess and she’s made it work for her.  In her rise to power, she’s made enemies, and she’s stepped over corpses to get where she is. She’s manipulated people and hurt them and she has never paid such cruelty much mind. In her head, she’s had to endure it her whole life, so why shouldn’t they? And then it all came to bite her in the ass.

I think this journey is going to be the most interesting part of Celeste’s story to explore. A girl who had nothing but her own mind to keep her warm; she built herself into a skyscraper only to be the reason she herself lost everything. I think she so desperately clings to the structure she’s created for herself that when the beams start to break and the foundation starts to crack, she sticks bandaids on it and prays it away. Blurring the lines of this strong, powerful woman that she’s scripted into her bones contrasting the scared, little girl that rests at her core is going to be something that bleeds together and becomes nothing more than a mess of a woman. Is she on a slow descent to which rock bottom is the destination or will she scrounge together the ambition akin to her name and slip her way out of life’s razor-sharp hold? Will she snap after being used and abused for so much of her life or continue living with a noose around her neck?

This plot is centred around Celeste finding her own identity through both who she is at her core and the persona that she’s created for herself. It’s about navigating through her crashing waves of emotion in a tiny sailboat and solidifying who she is in this world. Celeste has done an exceptional job of sweeping things under the rug. Her parents— deal with it later. Her marriage — deal with it later. Yet now, it is later and I’d like to explore her actually having to come to terms with all of it.

ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY | Despite unwillingly joining the mob, Celeste has manifested what she wants: power and influence. Perhaps she doesn’t have the same commanding presence as some of her peers, especially given her whimsical nature, but she stands in the ranks with a sure-footedness that comes from knowing how to wield her weapons. She holds the title of emissary and she takes pride in what she does. She’s spent her life yielding to men and their desires that it only made sense to spin it into gold. This plot is focussed on Celeste reclaiming her power and has two central ideas: deciding how much of it she gives to the mob and how much of it she gives to Easton.

I don’t believe Celeste has any true loyalty to the Montagues. She is truly only loyal to herself, a selfish trait she’s sure must have been passed down by her father. Living a life of obligation has fitted her into her role in the mob but like she had done in the role of daughter, of wife, she broke free of the box she had been slotted in and it’s only a matter of time before she breaks her role in the mob. Like her namesake, Cressida is synonymous with betrayal so I believe loyalty is an integral aspect of her character that I’d like to explore. Whether it be at the hands of Easton or of her own volatile will, I believe Celeste will eventually tug too hard at the strings that bind her to the Montagues and fall from the heavens straight to the pits of hell. Celeste herself, has always stood confidently in the morally grey area– having to choose to remain loyal to the Montagues versus willingly double-crossing them is something I’d like to explore in time. Because to openly betray them means to free herself of Easton’s chains but also means to subject herself to purgatory for the rest of her life.

Specifically in regards to Easton, the villain of her story, I’d like to see her fight back. Perhaps not directly but in the form of getting close to him without getting close to him. Befriending his friends, finding his weakness so she can rip out his heart and consume it whole. Her ambition is perhaps her greatest strength, so I’d like to see her really in the weeds with this one; making under-the-table deals, initiating secret arrangements, holding out bribes, the works. She’s got a knack for fluttering her lashes and playing the naive little girl so if it means burrowing her way between the ribcage of a couple Capulets to weasel her way into Easton’s life, so be it. In addition, I’d like to see her potentially reaching out to someone in the Montague ranks as a “mentor” under the guise of wanting to expand her repertoire of deadly skills to figure out how she can finally put an end to Easton’s story.

I RIP APART THE INSTRUMENTS OF MY IMPRISONMENT | Celeste looked up to her father from the day she was born and with every fibre of her being, craved his love. Never once did she receive it, and she watched on bitterly as he ignored her and berated her. All these years later, she claims she’s over it, but has Celeste really ever gotten over anything in her whole life? No. Even if she can’t admit it, she needs approval with a desperation she finds sickening and if she was able to cut out that piece of her soul, she would. I think this would translate into her position in the mob— craving the approval from superiors and peers. Breaking free is a recurring theme in Celeste’s life and it was born in removing herself from her father’s stifling hold.

There are two elements of this plot— the first is exploring her stepping out from her father’s shadow and reclaiming the Duval name. What did she have to do to achieve that? How has it changed people’s perceptions of her and her family name? Do people look past her doe eyes and bouncy curls to see the venom underneath her tongue? Part of this journey includes her position as an emissary in the Montague ranks. I believe this goes above just using her sexuality for her own benefit and touches on the idea of sexual extortion— which is something to explore her own feelings about. Was it something that she naturally saw fit for herself or something that was coaxed upon her, whispers to play to her strengths echoing in her ear? Her sexuality was something she used to break free from the chains of her childhood and the journey of weaponizing it is something I think is integral to her character.

The second element ties into her destruction arc from the previous two plots, and her own made-up feeling of being rejected from the Montagues because of her silent betrayal. The desperation to be accepted and praised is what inspired her rise to power and it’s what keeps her fueled. I believe Celeste has the potential to be obsessed with trying to overcompensate for Easton’s blackmail because of the yearn of approval from her peers. This is inspired by her connection to Lawrence and the tension between them but I think while she’s contemplating her own loyalties to the mob, this doubt she has of Lawrence and his reciprocated distrust, I believe it would sow the seed of paranoia in her. While her internal struggle of loyalty plays out, this paranoia would take over everything and anyone who disagreed with her or tried to stop her, she would wonder if they knew of her deceit.

IN AGONY, IN LOVE, IN WORRY | Celeste has a healthy amount of tenderness for Tomas. It’s not love but maybe in another timeline it could be. He allows her to be whoever she desires to be and makes no attempt to change her, accepts every part of her without hesitation, and asks for nothing in return. Both of them are so full of feeling, two sides of the same coin that perhaps, if the circumstances were different, they could have been soulmates. But in this reality, she wields his affection like a sword, aimed directly at his own heart to keep him at bay. It’s only when she has the upperhand that she feels at ease and she knows as long as she holds his affections under lock and key, she will always have the upperhand. I think she can feign the love he craves, give into his desires just enough to satiate him and over times, playing the part has worn a hole in her ribcage just large enough for a trickle of softness to spill through.

But then there’s Isabella. Oh Isabella. All wildfire and passion, who truly brought meaning to the word love. I believe what Celeste has with them is an all-consuming love. Celeste’s whole heart belongs to Isabella and the strain of her marriage, of the mob, of Easton, has cast a shadow on the purest love, dimming it’s shine to a faint glow. But more than that, I believe a lot of Celeste’s personal choices will put a strain on her relationship with Isabella and they will put Celeste in a place where she’s forced to make the decision of how far she’ll go for this relationship. This potentially comes down to Celeste having to choose between the reputation and image she’s fashioned for herself and the true desires of her heart.

Ahh, both of these relationships I’m so invested in already but the destruction of both is so close I can almost taste it. I’d like to explore both of these relationships, Tomas and Isabella, and the rise and fall of it. The growing suspicion in her marriage and her attempts to smooth it over with Tomas while navigating the yearn for Isabella without allowing herself to fall completely head-over-heels.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes. :(

IN-DEPTH

001. | She didn’t quite know why she returned as often as she did. Perhaps it was the obligation that was sewn into her skin, tugging and pulling and reminding her whenever she moved. Perhaps it was the sheer pleasure she got out of seeing them grow old, the life slowly dwindling out of them until they would collapse in a pile of bones that she would use to feed her dogs.

“Shouldn’t you be in your own house?”

“I’m here for you, Papa.” The reply is curt and she doesn’t need to turn away from the stove to see the flare of his nostrils, the inability to accept help from anyone, let alone his worthless daughter.

“You think you’ll get this house?” A barking laughter falls from his lips, “Your favourite place in Verona, hm? Or is that the whorehouse?” The comment tries to grip onto her but her armour has been sanded to a perfectly smooth metal so it slides off, forming a puddle beneath her feet. Stupid man.

“Actually,” she replies airily, a sickly sweet smile painted on her face as she places the boiling cup in front of him, “It’s wherever they plan to bury you.” She offers him a glance and this time she relishes the flare of his nostrils.

002. | Morning light forces its way through the french windows, dark lashes fluttering as she roused from her sleep, amber curls tousled from a night of turning fitfully on a silk pillow. With a deep sigh, she turns in the satin sheets, an attempt to reclaim a couple moments of sleep. Before her lashes can press together, her gaze settles on Isabella laying next to her, eyes sparkling as their lips stretch into a smile.

“Good morning, mon chou.”

“So, I get you all to myself today, hm? Do I get to live through a typical day of Celeste Duval?” The other’s teasing smile reflects Celeste’s as she draws herself closer.

She let out a breathy laugh, closing it off with a firm kiss on the other’s lips. “A typical day, hm? So you want to spend the day with little ol’ moi? ” A manicured hand moves up to cup Isabella’s cheek, a kittenish smile pulling at her lips. “Well then we’ll spend the morning in bed.” A kiss on the cheek. “Order more than we can eat from the pâtisserie on main street…” A kiss on the temple. “Then get all done up for a day on the town. Maybe indulge in a bit of shopping.” Her fingers trail along the other’s lithe form, following the dips and curves of their body. “Then we’ll take a bath together— a bubble bath, of course, complete with the finest wine Italy has to offer.”

She leaves out the bloodbaths and the cheating and the blackmailing and the copious amounts of self-pity.

“Sounds nice, oui?”

003. | Velvet gloves press against the mahogany door, pushing it open to reveal the hundred saints staring down at her with accusatory glances, demanding to know why they died for her sins. She walked down the pews, one step at time, head never bowed, gaze never faltering. It had occurred to Celeste that perhaps her confession didn’t do her much good if she bore no remorse in committing. Yet the click of her heels echoed as she made her way to the confessional booth.

Her confession was a silent one. Not for a priest or clergy, but for her and God alone. Her eyes closed and her head finally lowered. What was her sin that she should confess to— her biggest mistake thus far in life? Was it breaking her promise to her husband or offering false hope to her lover? Was it praying each night the man who raised her would choke on his dinner just once and just die? Was it the way she wore the title of whore with a kittenish smile and a too-short hemline, or the way she relished the feeling of hot blood on her hands?

“Forgive me Father for I have sinned.”

Yet that was as far as she got before she was interrupted. Though it was not the glorious bells of the cathedral but rather the chiming that came from the Chanel bag at her feet. With that, she stood up and shrugged her bag back over her shoulder. The confession was still perched on the tip of her tongue and yet she no longer felt the weight of her sins on her shoulders.

004. | Her eyes are shining and wet. Her back straightens, and she fingers the fabric of her skirt, looking down at her shoes as he stands there in silence. There is nothing but silence as she tries to fathom what he is saying, and she nearly stumbles back, almost ashamed by his honesty. Why was he doing this? She was too bold, too brilliant, too breathtaking for a life of dim characters and colours. She was too good for this shit city and yet here he was, trying to cut her off at the knees.

He, on the other hand, is nothing special. If men were skyscrapers then he would be a faint grey building, flickering in the corner of the taller, angry rectangles dusting the clouds with their hats. If she were riding in an airplane down, she probably wouldn’t even be able to spot his shape. But he was hers and she was his and they were bound by an eternal string, fraying more and more by the minute.

I’ve never asked much of you, my love. His words echo in her ear, the one thing: to stay faithful to me. Surely that can’t have been the hardest task you’ve been asked of… Or is it?

“I don’t know who’s putting these vile thoughts in your head, my darling,” she coos, a reassuring hand, cupping his cheek. Her words are soft, but the slight undertone of frustration is simmering below the surface, threatening to spill over. “We’re married, aren’t we? Til death do we part.” And with that, she seals her vow with a saccharine kiss, the knot unclenching from her stomach as she felt him relax into her. A honeyed lie was better than a poisoned truth, wasn’t it?

005. | She was fixing herself tea in the parlour when the doorbell rang. She smoothed out her skirt — a silk dress hand-stitched with Egyptian cotton hugging her figure (custom-made for her by Saint Laurent), pearls decorating her décolletage (a wedding gift), and diamonds piercing her ears (well, those were just an indulgence). Even at home, she dressed for any occasion.

Standing before her is a man she’s come to hate, a man she’d go to bed every night praying he would drop dead. Easton Craven. Her cheeks are ruddy with the colour of shame, and as she lengthens herself, spitting at him in hushed tones.

“What the fuck are you doing here? I told you not to come to my house.”

He only smiles in return, pushing his way through the entrance and into the foyer of the manor. “Visiting a friend, of course. I’m rather upset you haven’t invited me over before.” He speaks with his back to her, stopping to gaze up at a painting decorating the wall. “Did Tomas pick this out?” The question mocks her and she has to bite her tongue.

She could kill him. The thought flits through her mind and solidifies itself at the front of her skull. She could kill him and claim self-defense; a home invasion turned on its head. Before the thought can even fully form itself, his lips curl upward into a cruel smirk. He knows she won’t do it. Not because she can’t but because they’re similar in this way. He wouldn’t have come here without a back-up, something to hold over her head even if he was lying dead, bleeding out on her Persian rug. So she smothers the thought and clears her throat expectantly.

“Now tell me, Celeste, what are your thoughts on this war? The Montagues, the Capulets— does any of it even mean anything to you? You’re so quick to betray that I really am curious what you think.”

“Go to hell,” she snarls back. He’s right though, it really doesn’t mean anything to her, and perhaps that’s the worst thing of all.

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

What is one aspect of Quackerjack’s character that you feel should be/have been expanded upon?

This is a bit of a tricky question to answer and narrow down to one specific aspect. QuackerJack himself is a relatively mysterious character outside of what we've been shown, and is probably the only member of the Fearsome Five to not have any origin story episode at all throughout the original series. Yes, even Liquidator, a character who doesn't have even half the screen time as a majority of minor recurring characters (a crime, really, I feel like Liquidator is one of the most underutilized characters of the franchise, especially when his powers have the most devastating potential), has an origin episode.

Liquidator fell in a vat of chemicals while trying to poison the water supply, Megavolt got fried with electricity because of a school bully, Bushroot conducted experiments on himself to impress a colleague he was smitten with, and Negaduck is an alternate form of Darkwing who has almost no inhibitions whatsoever.

QuackerJack... supposedly lost his mind after a bad chain of events and stress that he blames on the encroachment of the then growing video game industry, but we also know that QuackerJack has a tendency to be contradictory and is also a genius lunatic who doesn't experience the world the way its presented. Can we trust all the information we've gotten from him? The franchise overall hints that recalls could have played a part in his business going under, but it also makes it clear that he went absolutely bonkers with quality control and continues to push products that are clearly hazardous and are a safety regulations nightmare. Explosive, unreasonably sticky, sharp edges, bear trap mechanisms, built in flamethrowers, animatronic toys with retractable claws, bone crunching, even nuclear components. QuackerJack is like Willy Wonka with toys. He's a mad genius, emphasis on "mad".

But we never got a concrete backstory to how and why he is as he is.

Also, other things I'd liked to have seen expanded upon would be, but not limited to:

Where was and what happened to the old QuackerJack Toys™ Factory, and if the salvaged bits were what QuackerJack used to create his Toy Kingdom in "Toys Czar Us", like, there's assembly lines and factory machines there, but that's all underground, so did he rescue what he could before the city condemned the building or what??

Did he always wear that hat, or did that become a thing after his descent into madness? Like, did he run the company as a plain clothes civilian once upon a time, and then just showed up to a meeting one day dressed as a jester and his staff just noped out of there or what?

For that matter, does he ever actually take that hat off willingly, or is this a Jervis Tetch situation where he becomes completely unresponsive and overestimulated the longer that hat is off his head?

Really, who was he before he took on the persona of QuackerJack? I don't mean like if that's really his name or not, I mean who was he, and how much of that personality remains intact at his core.

Does he not have any relatives that have filed a missing persons report on his civilian identity, or is he the only one of his kin in Calisota? Has his family completely disowned him, or are they not aware of what he's become? If his parents aren't around (based on my estimates, they could be somewhere in thier 60s or above), then surely he has siblings or cousins or something. A lifelong family friend? A parental figure? A mentor? Did anyone who was familial with him at all know what happened to him?

Does everyone in St. Canard over the age of 20 just happen to know who he really is because of his prior life, or is his identity really as mysterious as his profile reports claim? Is he not a St. Canard native, like, did he spend his youth in St. Canard or did he just show up to town one day as a young entrepreneur and built his toy business from the ground up, or did he inherit it as a family business thing? He's gotta be at least 40ish by the time the series starts, since Megavolt and Darkwing are confirmed to be age 38 by the end of the series, so that's an entire chunk of lifetime that could be factors in what made him what he is today

Really, what's the real reason his company tanked? He says he was the greatest Toy Maker in the world, he insists on it, he's even made himself a mug and makes that his defining trait, but he somehow cracked because something new came around? Either there was more to the whole Whiffle Boy thing, or he messed up somewhere in his products that caused a massive disaster with casualties, and he can't rationalize that he had something to do with his failure. He's a canonical hypocrite and will lie on the fly to save his own butt while in a pinch, so I don't think we can 100% take his own explanation as gospel truth. I feel like video games are only part of the reason he went bankrupt, but he just won't admit that he made a mistake on his part.

His time while employed at QuackWerks, specifically the gradual decline as when he began to realize that he was assigned to be a cog in the machine.

Also, his relationship with Claire. I really am intrigued to see how that specific time chunk went, because it's interesting to think that he had a period of time where he was genuinely trying to turn over a new leaf and was relatively functioning for a specific amount of time before falling back on his old ways. The only real hint we got was, quote Claire: "He can be really sweet when he wants to be." which can either be interpreted as him being at his most vulnerable around her, or, more darkly, could have been a precursor warning sign that he was resurfacing his old traits and putting on a facade.

Where the heck was he during "Crisis on Infinite Darkwings", and did he or did he not witness the towering behemoth that was an amalgamation of Negaduck and Paddywhack rising up out of the ground at any point? I know he broke out of prison and left a freaky doll replica in his cot, but he could have been out at the time Negawhack was a thing, and how did he respond to that visual, since this is a fusion of two individuals who have tainted Mr. Banana Brain for him? Did he just nope all the way to Duckburg until everything blow over, or what, because the streets are crawling with a lot of Darkwings too, did no one see QuackerJack at all, his jester costume is very colorful, and if he was in prison garb, I'd say an orange jumpsuit is very noticeable in such a drab city in ruins.

That whole thing about that last sighting of him in the Joe Books Revival comics, where the entire layout of the lair strongly hints that he was prepping to launch an attack on the St. Canard Toy Expo the following week, and the schematics and disjointed notes and the strong implications that he was singing to himself while prepping was really making me feel like this was going to be like a Toy With Me 2.0 scenario and it would take to long for me to explain that entirely, but I just... Imagine like the feel of the tail end of "The Killing Joke", and just... Hrmph, we were robbed, yo.

Overall, I really wish more was expanded on with who he was, not who he is now.

Granted, the mysterious nature makes for good fodder for fan content that allows a lot of us to create interesting ideas and all are equally valid theories... But I'm very much interested in QuackerJack Pre-QuackerJacked.

[recentanimenews]

Sympathy for the Devilman: The Legacy of Go Nagai's Magnum Opus

I've always had a thing for villains. Unlike my brothers, as a kid I'd always choose the "bad guy" action figures. If they went for the ninja turtle Leonardo, then I'd go for the uber-buff Super Shredder. I personally identified with villainy because of how it connected to the idea of "evil." I personally see evil as a generalized concept that expresses antagonism toward violent and dominant societal structures. Due to a coercive religious upbringing, I now see how my younger self unconsciously found ideologically-oppositional comfort in "evil" art. This eventually led me to one of my most cherished pieces of fiction: Devilman.

Devilman has left an indelible mark on manga and anime creators over the last few decades, inspiring major industry heavyweights such as Hideaki Anno, Kentaro Miura, and Kazuki Nakashima. The series was created by Go Nagai, a manga auteur also responsible for Mazinger Z, Cutie Honey, and Violence Jack (which is a Devilman sequel). Although Devilman retains much of the explicitness native to Go Nagai's usual fare, it uses these graphic elements uniquely to deliver a haunting, unforgettable, and compassionate message.

Let's explore the surprisingly relevant political and social significance of Devilman, along with a few of its animated offshoots. Read on but be forewarned, this article contains major spoilers!

  Devilman (original manga, 1972) 

via Seven Seas Entertainment

  The Devilman manga is a dark antiwar narrative in deep contrast to the standard monster-of-the-day, "evil fights evil" set-up of the anime (which ran at the same time as the manga). Ryo Asuka — who turns out to be Satan, the leader of all demons — helps convince the world that anyone dissatisfied with the status quo could turn into a demon and needs to be killed. Every nation starts a war with each other, and Japan creates the "Demon Busters" to murder anyone suspected of being a demon. This plot twist is the most explicitly political angle in Devilman and a clear critique against the genocide of marginalized peoples. One page features a taste of the global hate brewing around the world: a collective white desire to murder Black communities, the renewal of German anti-Semitism, and hatred for any protestor. There are also many moments that display the horrors of historical genocide when Akira and Ryo travel through time.

Devilman builds additional nuance around this theme with Ryo's character. In the manga's final scene, Ryo describes how demons were once oppressed by God, and that they in turn preyed upon humans in the same way that God preyed upon demons. Ryo recognizes that he continued the same cycle of genocidal hate and marginalization he once suffered. This is a striking moment that functions as a cautionary warning against abusing imbalanced power dynamics, and how even once marginalized groups are still capable of enacting horrors against those with less power. 

via Seven Seas Entertainment

  Ryo's character also made a groundbreaking stride in the representation of marginalized gender and sexual identities. His true form as Satan is easy to interpret as trans, possessing emotional, mental, and physical traits that defy the standard gender binary. The manga also makes it clear that Ryo considers Akira more than a friend, and is actually in love with him. Amazingly, Go Nagai does not use Ryo's trans-coded self or his queer love for Akira as fodder for insulting or disrespectful commentary from other characters. Ryo's gender-variant form is certainly mentioned, but it's never negatively framed or conflated with his murderous attitude toward humanity. Additionally, the manga never suggests Ryo is evil because of his romantic feelings for Akira (a simple, yet important distinction). It feels all the more impressive when you remember that this was made in 1972. Devilman's subversive portrayal of non-normative gender and sexual identity could still be considered groundbreaking even by today's standards.

Devilman OVAs

  The first OVA, The Birth, covers Ryo and Akira's discovery of demon existence, with a very brutal early sequence that shows the bloody survival-of-the-fittest origins of life on Earth (which beautifully expands upon and mirrors the same sequence from the manga). It concludes with a gore-soaked finale where we see Akira's fateful transformation into Devilman. The sequence is filled with face stabs, top-notch body horror, and decapitations galore as Devilman rips apart demon after demon in a nightclub setting.

  The second OVA, The Demon Bird, had the same crew that worked on the first OVA and contains a very similar feel. This OVA is more action-oriented than the first since it doesn't spend time on the build-up and exposition leading to Devilman's initial appearance. The animation and art design is probably even better than the first episode, which is most notable during the fight with Sirene. On a side note, the Manga Entertainment dubs for these first two OVAs are absolutely essential if you're seeking a fun evening with fellow anime nerds with a decent sense of humor. Their typically sleazy dubs — where Manga Entertainment excessively hyped up the seedier, more "adult" side of anime in order to market their products as wildly different from cartoons for kids — contain an assortment of unnecessary profanity and generally crude dialogue compared to the Japanese source material, to great comedic effect.

The third OVA, Amon: The Apocalypse of Devilman, is based on Amon: The Darkside of Devilman manga, an alternate-universe offshoot by Yu Kinutani. This OVA contains a reworked version of the end of Devilman and has a much darker edge compared to the first two OVAs. This entry in the series has an ugly, grim quality to it – such as the horrific depiction of Miki and her brother getting slaughtered by an angry mob — that initially felt off-putting to me. I started to enjoy it more on subsequent viewings however, when I remembered that, well, the entire Devilman mythos is pretty damned bleak in general. I think the desolate mood would have been more bearable had Akira felt like the compassionate, tragic hero of the manga.

Actually, overall I'd say that Akira's portrayal is one of my biggest complaints about these OVAs. He displays a cold lack of care for human life — like in the Demon Bird when he unconcernedly tears through an airplane while fighting Sirene and allows its passengers to presumably plummet to their deaths — that for me, offsets one of the biggest strengths of Devilman's core: that although Akira has the body of a demon, he never loses the tender heart of a human. With that in mind, let's explore Devilman Crybaby. 

  Devilman Crybaby

Devilman Crybaby is my favorite animated incarnation of Devilman, period. I might be in the minority with that opinion, but I think there's a lot to love. Masaaki Yuasa is already one of my favorite recent anime directors — Kaiba, Mind Game, and Lu Over the Wall are highlights  — so it's no surprise I'd be head over heels for his take on a classic Go Nagai story.

Yuasa impressively shifts the '70s setting of the original into modern-day Japan: The group of surly highschoolers from the manga are replaced with rappers and smartphones are everywhere. In the hands of a lesser writer, a modern setting would be no more than a cosmetic, surface-level change of scenery to an already-written narrative. In contrast, Yuasa avoids this trap by using the modern setting to make incisive social commentary relevant to our times: social media is the means for both horrendous and beautiful moments in the show. It leads to Miki's murder when she posts on Instagram to defend Akira, but also serves as the online catalyst that unites Devilmen across the globe (in contrast to the original manga, where a set of demon-possessed psychic monks unite the Devilmen). Yuasa explained this in a 2018 Japan Times article:

"Today's situation is a lot closer to 'Devilman' than it was when Nagai wrote it in the '70s," he says. "The popularity of social media means people are a lot more connected, for good and bad – like someone getting shot over a video game. We learn about unarmed black people being killed by police, people being tortured and the rise of nationalism in politics. In Japan, too, where a lot of problems are openly blamed on foreigners.

"But it can also help spread good that we wouldn't otherwise know about. We see people coming out as gay or trans on social media, and there's a greater opening up and acceptance of different opinions and lifestyles."

  Another beautiful aspect of the show is how Yuasa amplifies the queer elements present in the manga. Ryo and Akira's relationship feels even more loaded with romantic undertones, and Yuasa also introduces two queer characters unseen in the original manga. One of the characters is named Miki Kuroda, initially portrayed as a jealous antagonistic foil to the Miki we all know and love. Miki Kuroda changes as the episodes progress and she becomes a Devilman, and we eventually see her sacrifice herself in an attempt to save Miki Makimura, who she confesses her love to before dying. It's refreshing to see a queer woman represented in a story that previously had none, and incorporated in a way that feels organic and thoughtfully integrated within the larger narrative.

  In contrast to the Akira of the OVAs, I absolutely adore this incarnation. Yuasa did a stellar job showing not only Akira's horny goth-jock side but also his compassionate traits. As the name implies, there's a lot of crying in Devilman Crybaby, and Akira is responsible for at least half the tears throughout the brief 10-episode series. Akira evokes such intense compassion and cares for people around him, which is a noticeable deviation from his cold demeanor in the OVAs. The human heart at the core of Devilman is on full display here, taking the emotional elements from the original and turning the volume up to 11. Though the art style and setting might be drastically different from what you'd typically expect of a Devilman remake, Yuasa did a masterful job honoring the source material while injecting it with fresh life and even fresher modern resonance. 

What other aspects of Devilman  — or its many incarnations  — did you find important or interesting? Let me know in the comments below!

Do you love anime? Do you love writing? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[avengerscompound]

Felicity 1

Felicity 1:  A Valkyrie Fanfic

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Brunnhilde x F!Reader

Word Count:  1506

Warnings:  PTSD, Life as on Sakaar as a slave, Reader is a kind of sex worker/slave but also not, but you know, keep that in mind before plunging in. Powered reader, smut (F|F, vaginal fingering)

Synopsis:  Everyone has their role on Sakaar, if they like it or not.

Felicity 1

You had known drinking with Brunnhilde was a mistake.  You’d seen her in action.  She drank most days after all.  She didn’t let you in on much, but no one comes to Sakaar without loss and hers seem to run deep to her core.  Her life was a series of distractions filled with ways to pay for those distractions.  She trained, she collected the scrap, she bet on the fights, she drank.  She drank a lot.  More than most men five times her size.  Nothing numbed pain like booze.

When that failed there was you.

Brunnhilde didn’t use her real name very often.  On Sakaar the only names that were important were the ones given to you by the Grandmaster.  If he favored you, you might get to use your own.  It was rare but it happened from time to time.   He took them from you, because names had power.  That didn’t stop other people from using them with each other though.  He could try and take your identity.  Break you down so you were nothing but Courtesan 087 or Fighter 698 or junker 043.  He couldn’t stop other’s calling you by your real name though, and many in private used them.  It was the only time you had an identity.

Not for Brunnhilde.  She used Scrapper 142.  She wore it like she wore her armor.  It protected her from being hurt in a way no blade ever could.

She allowed the Hulk to call her Angry girl.  He was probably the closest thing she had to a friend, so his pet name snuck in.  Giving her a little more personality.  Something new she could lose.  It still wasn’t her exactly.   Just a small aspect.  No one here got all of her.

No one except you.

When Brunnhilde came to you it was at her most raw.  It was when her old life started to bleed through.

Today had been one of those days.  She’d come in distressed and already halfway to being extremely drunk.

“I need you,”  She said as she’d almost fallen through your door.

Just that and it was enough.  Brunnhilde had come to see you and you wouldn’t let her be alone on Sakaar when she was so vulnerable.

Only now you were plastered.  She was holding you up as you staggered along with her.  “Wait… wait… I’ll carry you.”  She said.

“No… no… you can’t…”   You slurred.  It was in vain.  By the time you said can’t, you were cradled in her arms and giggling uncontrollably.

She carried you to your chambers.  Hers were stark and often littered with garbage.  Yours, on the other hand, were warm and welcoming.  She had her role on Sakaar.  You had yours and yours meant that people needed to feel comfortable when they came to see you.

“Let’s take a bath.”  She said as the doors slid closed behind you.

“Let me down and I’ll start it up, Brunnhilde.”  You said, cradling her jaw and kissing her cheek.

She closed her eyes and something in her softened.  Scrapper 142 was slipping away and Brunnhilde was taking over again.

She set you to your feet and you went to you large gold tub and began running the water.   You added some scented oils to it, to help her relax more.   She needed that most of all.

“How often does he come here?”  Brunnhilde asked as he fingers brushed over the sheer curtains that hang around your bed.

“He who?”  You asked, beginning to undress.

“You know who I’m talking about.”  She snapped.

You recoiled a little.  The role you played on Sakaar made people react in different ways.  Some remained detached during the process.  Not wanting to connect just wanting to let go.  Others wanted the connection most but it made them jealous that they weren't the only ones who got it.  Brunnhilde only cared that you had a lack of agency.  That you saw who you were told to see and your own feelings didn’t come into the decision making process.  Her fury about it only bubbled out when it was Brunhilde you were talking to, but it was a fury.  Not just about your slavery.  It was about everyone’s and her life now and the things she had lost.

“Less now he has the shapeshifter.  He’s definitely into his new plaything.”  You said, coming over to her.  “I’m sure when his interest wanes he’ll start returning.”

She grimaced and as you started helping her off with her armor she cupped your jaw and caressed your cheek with your thumb.  “I hate thinking about his hands on you.”

“Then don’t think about it.”  You said.  “Let’s bathe.  I am so drunk that I’m not even sure I can do this properly.  It might have to wait until the morning.”

She frowned and let you undress her.  You carefully laid out her armor and led her into the tub.   Brunnhilde liked to be the big spoon, so you lay against her, listening to the sound of her heartbeat.

“You remind me of her,”  She said as she started relaxing in the tub.

“Of who?”  You asked.

“My … she and I… before…”  She stuttered.

You reached behind you and stroked your fingers over her cheek.  “Do you want to remember or forget?”

She shook her head.  “She was so strong and so selfless.  It was always about other people over herself.  It should have been me that died.  It should have been me.”

You turned and sat up on your knees.  “She sounds amazing.”  You said, leaning in and ghosting your lips up her neck.  “Why do you say she’s like me?”

“It’s never about you.”  She said.  “Just about having other people cope with this hellscape.  Even the man who has trapped us in it.  What about you?  Who takes care of you?”

“We all have our roles to play.”  You said and kissed her.

She pulled you down against her and pushed her thigh up against your pussy.  You rocked against it, the water splashing up the side of the tub.  You ran your hands down her form, cupping her breasts and squeezing them gently.  She pushed up against your hands and rocked against your thigh.

“Please.  Please. I can’t do this.”  She pleaded with you.

You kissed her throat.  The pain was radiating from her.  Drunk as you both were and as badly as she felt, it was going to hurt.  “Okay,”  You said, running your hands through her hair.  “Okay, Brunnhilde.  Relax and let it happen.”

You brought your fingers to her clit and began rubbing it in small circles as you rocked against her leg.  You could feel her release coming and your eyes began to glow a deep purple as you fed of it.   Like the coil that was winding inside her was pulling on something in you.  You moved your hand faster and pulled a nipple into your mouth.  “Please,”  She moaned as she bucked up against you.

“Relax, let it happen,”  You purred.  “It’ll be over soon.”

You kept moving your hand and letting her grind against your thigh.  The water splashed in the bath as she bucked under you.  Her body seized up suddenly and she came and with her orgasm came a rush of emotions and memories and the feeling of trying to dull them with alcohol.  It was like being hit.  You reeled back from her and scrambled out of the tub, running to the sink and throwing up.

“I’m sorry,”  She said, her voice sounding numb and slightly hollow, even as she panted.

You wiped your mouth and shook your head.  “It is my role.”

“It isn’t fair to you.  You are so good, and I am weak.”  She stepped out of the water and wrapped herself in a towel.  You turned to face her, but your legs were weak and they gave out under you.

She wrapped you in a towel and carried you to bed.

“Don’t feel guilty.  This place crushes you.  We have to survive somehow.”  You said.  “I am just honored that you let me help you.  To see that part of you.  When you were leader of the Valkyrie.  Most here are nothing.”

She shook her head.  “Please don’t, I’ll remember sooner and then I’ll need to do this again.”

You caressed her jaw and leaned up and kissed her.  She did not return it.  Why would she?  She was no longer Brunnhilde.  Just Scrapper 142.  People came to you to get what they needed.  For many it was hope.  Or their memories of their family.  Some it was just the rush of pleasure that with you was amped up like a hit with powerful drugs.  Brunnhilde liked to forget.  She used alcohol to do it most of the time, but you were stronger.

“Goodbye, Felicity 1,”  She said, kissing your forehead and going to redress.

You smiled sadly.  Felicity 1 was your role.  You had now filled it.  “Goodbye, Scrapper 142.  I hope your pleasure sustains you.”