#time to see what having an ear slime does to a mf

[dolyx]

(hmhmm maybe i'll change my mind after i read the schism i just need to jot this thought down before i do but—a pc who has met the bishop. a pc whose first purge is a success, who considers the experience exhilarating not for the sake of purging corruption, but only for the feeling of pride that comes from finally knowing what to do with a penitent's confession. a pc who does not believe in the temple's beliefs, really, and is only there to spend more time with a loved one. a pc whose faith was long gone. perhaps, at a time, they wished to believe in a higher diety, that a higher being exists and dictates the right from wrong. but the moment they step foot outside the orphanage—this belief shatters. their hope snuffed out by their experiences inside and outside the town. a pc who has given up on making things better for themself and for the people around them and instead opts to cling to the first person who expressed disdain in the town, hoping for them to be their ticket to get out of this hellhole of a place.

then came along the bishop. of their lengthy explanations about the taint of the dark elk. about the children of auriga. about their purpose as the few faithful who have discovered the truth. about jordan's purpose. about sydney's—or what was supposed to be theirs if not for pc who has corrupted them. the bishop thanks pc. they send them their gratitude for helping sydney pass the trial of anguish. pc couldn't have known the consequences of their actions, they said. they have already made it up to them, they said. but it doesn't diminish the guilt that begins to rise in their throat at their realization. pc is not a religious person, no, and they could barely give a shit of what the temple's scriptures say but—fuck. fuck. knowing they have just doomed the person—and the whole town, in extension—to the taint the bishop speaks of fills them with sickening guilt, pc can't consider the bishop's acts cruel when they have just made life worse for the people residing in this town. they now see the logic behind jordan's innocence being a shield. they now see the importance of the temple—of the bishop, of the few faithful clergies who dedicated their lives to purging sin out of this town. a pc who becomes overriden with guilt and a sense of responsibility that they begin to take their duties to the temple more seriously. tend the garden. clean the quarters. practice on their weapon of choice. attend mass if their schedule allows it. act as a confessor as much as they can and purge sin out of this town.

but despite it all, it's not enough. what they do is not enough. pc knows several other people whose souls must be cleansed yet have no desire to step foot into the temple.

so they resort to other methods. the end justifies the means, as they all say. corruption is spread through sexual acts. consequently, it is also released from the corrupted if done at the right place. however, not all people are willing. not all desire to be cleansed, not all wish to rid of the corruption that flourishes in this town. if this is the case, then surely pc should be allowed to other methods, right? if not to purge sinners of their sins, then at least to prevent corruption from spreading. the temple's teachings will definitely frown on pc's choice of action. the scriptures advise them to respect life, after all. to respect one another. but at least—at least, pc can protect the town in their own way to truly make it up for defiling the one person who could've been the beacon of hope and innocence they (would) need.

tldr; pc who's overriden with guilt of knowing the consequences of corrupting sydney in the long run that they (1) become more dedicated to serving the temple in their own way and (2) become someone who (secretly?) eliminates those tainted with auriga's corruption but with no intention of cleansing their souls via murder lol.)

[ecotone99]

[MF] Depression

I suddenly become aware of myself, I don’t remember going to sleep? All I know now is that I am awake. I open my eyes, and sit up. I am in an empty room, a very large, very white room. Taking a second glance, I notice that in the distance, something is on the wall almost at the top. Some sort of a silver structure jutting out? I look to my right, a small trickle of water is flowing a few feet away from me. I stand up, and walk in the direction of the water. I gasp with sudden realization of pain. My chest aches as if from a fresh injury, but I seem to be unharmed upon inspection. I reach the small amount of water trickling by, a stream maybe a foot wide, but it appears to grow as it travels towards the other end of the room, the strange white room. A shadowed, hooded figure appears suddenly before me, as if out thin air. His garments are dirty, and torn, very out of place in this pristine room. I jump backwards startled, almost tripping over my own feet. I gaze at the stranger, the aura around him is very odd, almost like a wizard of sorts? Which is strange, because I have never met a wizard. He looks directly at me, and for the first time I see his face. Twisted, and wrinkled, but there was a sort of wisdom in his piercing stare. His eyes are pure white no other color at all, a stark contrast to dirt on his face. He looks at me as if looking on an old friend, someone I have met many times, but I did not know him. In one swift motion he was by my side, staring as if into my very soul, staring through my soul. “Follow the water” he said, his voice was dry and raspy, like nails on a chalkboard. I shivered slightly, but the stranger didn’t seem to notice or care. “Follow the water and you will see your destiny” he croaked. I stared at the stream flowing down and across the floor, there was no stream bed, just whiteness for as far as I could see. I took a step forwards, toward the far end of the room. “Good choice” I hear from behind me, I whirl around but the old man has gone, vanished impossibly in an empty environment. Confused, scared, and a little bit hungry to be honest, I start walking next to the water. As I walk, I notice the stream does indeed begin to grow in width, spreading out across the floor, branching into multiple different streams. On the horizon I see some objects come into view, on the floor, underneath the silver structure, on the wall. I continue walking towards them, the water is running faster now and wider than ever. I can hear a sound as well, almost like a whirlpool or a waterfall? I pick up my pace, going into a half jog, fearful, but excited of what I might find. The closer I get the louder the noises become, until suddenly before me is indeed a whirlpool. The water is swirling and dancing before disappearing into to a large drain or grate? I look around, across, on the other side of the drain, I see a large mirror. I look closer, edging as close as I dare to the rushing water. In the mirror,or window, or whatever it is, I see a women. A beautiful women, absolutely perfection, standing in front of a perfect house. I see myself in the mirror, well is it me? It’s like a perfect version of me muscular, attractive, and I’m playing catch with my son while holding my daughter in my other arm. There’s flowers blooming and the weather looks perfect, like a vision of perfection. “Looks nice doesn’t it?” Rasps a voice in my ear. I jump startled, the hooded old man is back staring at me. “Just walk over to them and it all becomes your reality” he says with a half smile on his lips. “What about the water?” I say, my voice cracks with fear. The old man smiles, “there’s no water son, that’s just your fear, go ahead, trust me” I take another look at the mirror, the women is waving to me, with an almost pleading look in her eyes, begging me to take the step,to rescue them from this perfection hell they are trapped inside. I take a step forward, cautiously towards the water that supposedly isn’t there. I take one more look at the old man, “don’t hesitate” he says. I turn and leap towards the other side with every bit of power I can muster. The water hits me such force the air is knocked from my lungs. I struggle to breath as I am forced round and round, and then suddenly down into darkness. I land with a plop, air rushing back into my lungs and I am screaming as loud as I can. I can see nothing only darkness, there appears to be a sort of slime that I have landed in. My eyes slowly adjust to the darkness, I appear to be in another room this one circular, almost like a tube. To the one side I see movement, the old man is back sitting on a giant ball of hair? Surely not my eyes must be playing tricks on me. I approach him, it is indeed a ball of hair, fashioned into a sort of chair, that he is perched on, like a of king of the underworld. “Who are you?” I scream. “What is this place? Why am I here?” He simply stares back at me, a huge smile splitting his face. “I am called many things” he finally says, “but most call me Life.” As to where you are and why you are here, you allowed fear to grab you and you are now down the drain.” “Why?” I ask pleadingly. “Why what?” He says smirking. “Why me, what is it about me that caused that to happen?” “Nothing about you caused it to happen” he says the smirk is now gone replaced by a twisted frown. “We simply needed a human to feed on.” “We?” I ask. “Yes, we,” he gestures across the room into the darkest corner. As I turn a creature I can only describe as beast stands, and idles towards me. It is pure blackness almost seeming to suck up the what little light filters into the room from the grate above. It stopped right in front of me, I tremble with trepidation of what will happen next. Black drool comes from where a mouth should be and it’s wispy body seems to float. It moves closer to me there is no body heat at all, in fact the air around it seems to be colder. It comes closer and closer, then suddenly everything goes both hot and cold at the same time, I struggle to breath my mind goes into hyper drive and starts to race out of control. A sudden burning deep inside my chest like somebody ripped out my heart, and lungs, and stomach, and replaced them with hot burning tar. It was a pain that cannot be put into words, it simply was the feeling of darkness inside me. I stand up as straight as I can, struggling to breathe. The monster has vanished from my vision, I turn around and yell at the old man, who is giggling like a school girl. “What was that, and where did it go?” He looks at me and stops laughing, “that, that was a demon we call depression and he is inside you now, that’s where he needs to live.” I stutter, unable to get words out, “what,why,why why wh w” My body goes weak, my legs unable to support me. I stumble and fall, the world goes starts to disappear, “see you tomorrow” the old man crackles. This is the last thing I hear. Then there is nothing, blissful unadulterated nothing. Suddenly I become aware of myself, I don’t remember going to sleep? All I know now is that I am awake......

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