#tim barrus no words

[timbarrus]

Take notes. Grief, too, comes for everyone. I worked with adolescent boys who had HIV. Those were the days when nothing and no one was safe. Two thirds of them had lost one parent. Many had concomitant issues (various cancers). When someone from the group died, the boys insisted they would go to the funeral. I had vowed to never go to another funeral. Whenever I go to a funeral, it rains. Every time. It used to be annoying, but rain is now my friend. We were always the last to leave. No one could tell if you were crying or just soaked.

Or both.

Some of them fell completely apart. Some plunged back into addiction. Some were frozen and needed help. Some were in the trenches fighting for their lives. AIDS is not over. It's changed. Some went over the edge and returned to sex work. They swore they had never bonded with anyone. It hurt too much. I know this: They had bonded to one another. There was such a thing as suicide watch.

Grief was rock and roll.

PTS is grief as well. The only way I can handle it is to literally shut up. I listen. My focus is the kid, not the grief. The boys wanted to fight. To punch someone (anyone) in the face. Then, there were young men who wanted you to punch them in the face. Punch and punch back. But it was the wrestling on the floor and the intensity of that conflict a reciprocity where the entire room was weeping their guts out. I brought a tissue box to every funeral. The tissues were a rained sloppy mess. We laughed at that one.

[timbarrus]

I did not give the Interview circulating that has me saying (in print) garbage.

[timbarrus]

Tim Barrus

Take notes. Reform. The NYT has no radical voice. I am reading the middle of the road columnists who all deny they are the middle of anything. Nowhere in this thing did I read the word resistance. There is a resistance, but no one at NYT can crack that story. This is a success. Journalism treading water. These people are all talking about institutional response. Resistance exists. You just can't find it. The stories you publish do not require blood. First, you go off the grid. "But no one can disconnect." I assume that upper middle class writers believe this. Reformed institutions are always the upper middle class status quo solution. You cannot afford to admit that your institutions are irrelevant. Ephemeral. To say nothing of political institutions. Democrats flounder.

Break the country down to tribes. MAGA can move to Waco, Texas. Do not let them out. Build a wall. A big beautiful Democratic wall all the way around Waco. Conservatives get Manitoba. Democrats get the Museum of Natural History. There is nothing in your mean-spirited country worth reforming. Your focus on reform and reform and reform is patently absurd and beneath contempt. There are no institutions that work. Only for the government of the rich. By the rich. And for the rich. Democrats only move the furniture around. Four score and seven years ago, America was still a racist culture. No resistance is allowed a voice. Why can't we have a voice that says break the country up. The center will not hold.

[timbarrus]

tim barrus

Take notes. We need more babies on this planet like we need global warming. I am anti-baby all the way. Hope and famine. There is no hope for the planet when there are so many people on it that must be fed. As a teacher, I am perhaps supposed to be in favor of education. Education has failed us. Who would want to bring an innocent child into a world that will devour them. Let's have a good time with poverty. Let's have a good time with the loss of any kind of economic stability. Upper middle class parents compare their babies with what. My baby is best. Mommies need to grow up.

Having kids is not a competition. It is a curse. How many jobs will this kid have to survive. I put my kids on a flight out of here the day after Trump won. How can anyone bring a child into a culture controlled by a rapist. I am not allowed to use the word rapist in the New York Times. Or I get kicked off again. But if they can't allow that word, how is it that women tolerate a structure for a rapist to even have a bully pulpit. He will do it again. I am not going to parent a child who is going to learn the ways of a Rape Culture as institutional indifference. You have options. Wow. You can choose not to rape. How visionary. The idea of choosing to not have kids feels like a betrayal. The idea of choosing to not have kids is Radical. Anyone who does this will confront hostility from family, friends, and the community will shun you. It is unethical to bring anyone into the rot we have become.

[timbarrus]

What does the word autistic mean to me. It means barricades. Places where you are not allowed to go. I did not ask for this. I'm either writing, or taking photos on a road trip, I am allowed to be just me -- on a road, any road trip, to any fucking where. I am not unlike that shadow dance with light, photos, and I'm sweating bullets. I get to eat potato chips. -- tim barrus

[timbarrus]

tim barrus

Take notes. Elon Musk is a wildcard. Reminds me of a guy running down the street as fast as he can being chased by a dog. Soon enough Musk asks the dog: Do you know who I am. The dog replies: I surely do. Musk reminds me of parts of myself. People see Aspergers as a diagnosis. Asperger was a Nazi doctor who was in charge of experimenting on children. Even the name is offensive. You can be tortured for who you are. We already know that. Elon Musk -- just like the rest of us -- a kid daydreaming from his little desk brooding at stupid us. Wants to move to Mars.

I want somewhere to live. A hurricane took our homes. We are homeless. We live at Walmart in the parking lot. We couldn't find Mars on a map. I move out of this car in five days. A 1985 Ford. My neighbor's car) held together with duck tape. Musk reminds me of people who repair a lot of things together with wires and duck tape. Only one word drives Elon Musk. Greed. Say it out loud. Sing it. Greed. Mars as smokescreen. He emerges from the rocket ship. "That’s one small step for billionaires. One giant leap for me.” The rest us Asperger Birds are left with smaller, less righteous dreams. We, too, have executive functions, but to varying degrees on a spectrum, a work in progress. Is Musk Aspergers. Maybe. It matters because he gives the rest of us with Aspergers a stereotype people want to believe in. That is not us. I believe what people say literally. Our focus is not Mars. Our focus is not greed. It is simply to be heard.

[timbarrus]

Tim Barrus

Incendiary Comments is a book that examines my relationship with the New York Times. It’s been a long one. I am publishing my stuff there in terms of following patterns. Themes: Politics. Resistance. Medical. Autism, Neurodivergence (I’m Aspergers).  Economics. Democracy. Homelessness. Work-At-Home. Education. Tech. Suits. Parenting. HIV/AIDS. The whole nine yards. I am reporting. The work belongs to me. No one else there can say that in terms of the diversity that gives my voice a drive. I am driven. Reporting on what I said. What I see even if it’s not the same stance of the New York Times that has many moderates but no radical thinking, the focus is on my work. Not their stuff. I have picked my own graphics. I am also a professional photographer. I do not use NYT graphics. I do not intend to publish graphics. Just the text. Below is an example of the writing. I have published nine books. PEN awards. Columbia Journalism Review. Esquire Magazine, Booksellers Awards. Best books of the year awards. Most Notable Book NYT. I have sold over 200,000 books. Including film rights on all my books. Publishing has branded me as provocative and controversial. My books are all controversial. If you or your company cannot handle controversy, let’s avoid wasting one another’s time. My work is not like the work of anyone you know. I call suits suits. My work is an attempt to make the New York Times human. I am a radical. I have been publishing a long time. This one has taken years because I only make one submission a day. You do not know me. Even if you know my name (and you probably don��t) that is different from knowing or reading my work. I will include just a few samples. The New York Times knows I am publishing this book. In fact, I have mentioned it on their pages many times. If such a collection interests you, there is more content on my website. Thank you. — Tim Barrus

Take notes. I am living in a car. I am working in this car. I have published nine books. And I am living and working in a car. I am not alone. Hurricane survivors and these other mountain folks who all worked somewhere else. None of the people here have any experience at being homeless. Now, all of that is over. Big families are in tents. I can work anywhere. It's winter and people are cold. Some people have disappeared. Because they had a chance to get off the grid. Work means chopping firewood. I have worked on picnic tables in parks. I have worked in bus stations toilets. I have worked in schools where when it rained, there would be a deluge from a very bad roof. I have worked in coffee shops where it was warm. So, when you say the word -- work -- no one I have ever met would consider writing a job. At work. Nobody writes about how what's really going on is a sea of sadomasochism perpetuated by Mr. Boss Man, a suit, who gets off on abusing other people who put up with it because. I have no idea why. When suits tell you to jump. You comply. Last year, I wrote books in a treehouse. I am the boss. You suits just shrug indifferently. Everyone is supposed to be like you. Suits watching screens. Robots. The suits call the shots. For you. Not for me. I am not a part of your rotting culture. If I was rich, why would I be working in a car in a parking lot. I have always know that work at home paradigms were expendable because no suit could abuse you beyond the piling on of work. https://tim-barrus.format.com/   TimotheeBarrus@Gmail.com

[timbarrus]

Tim Barrus Teaching Deaf Children to Read and Write

Take notes. I worked in special education (SPED) in a hearing and speech center, clinical environment. Mostly, we had very young children. My class was five deaf four-year-olds who were also mute. There are teachers who would smile at the mute part. My kids were from Chinatown. Let me skip to the part where it's the end of the school year. No one was mute. The room was noisy (I love that). But the proof is in the pudding. I do not believe in printing, and I will not teach it. I teach cursive where the auditory sounding of words are connected. Now, they all had hearing aids. By June, they could talk, have relationships, have friends, and (when they are ready) attend public school. They could read. They could verbalize what they could read. They took to cursive right away.

They could write their own stories.

Parents were shocked. Usually, I'm wasting my time with parents. But with only five kids, I could talk with parents who never thought their child would speak, let alone write stories. Speech therapy every single day. I know lots of men who do that kind of work. No one blinks an eye. I encourage men to take a look at becoming speech therapists. You are needed. You will make good money. And you will meet very cool kids. I give them books that are tough to read. You've got to keep cranking it up. A little harder than they want. Keep reaching. Mothers wept because they never thought that they would hear the voices of their children. A voice is far more than a voice.