#tillie Walden I know you did it for a check but you didn’t have to do all of that

[donerunning]

“Tillie made a self insert to ship with clementine”

Baseless, misogynistic, Predatory lesbian stereotype, unproductive

“Tillie and skybound are using Clems name for money and don’t actually care about the source material or the fans of the game series”

Based in reality, can easily pull examples from the comic, brings up valid criticisms, not incel lingo

[canonicallyanxious]

sarah’s top 10 wlw media [that i consumed] in 2020

i noticed i read/watched a lot of really stellar wlw media this year so i wanted to make a list shouting out some of the amazing stories I found bc seriously this was a good year to be a wlw

note: these aren’t necessarily 2020 releases, just stories I happened to read or watch this year

1. Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)

Brilliant. Showstopping. Spectacular.

In all seriousness anyone who knows me will not be surprised at all to discover this ranks at the top of my list. It checks every box on the list of “Things Sarah is an absolute hoe for”: period romance, tender angst, references to Orpheus and Eurydice, GAYS IN WATER, a beautiful reconsideration on the relationship b/w the artist and the muse, “did you dream of me?” “no, i thought of you”, H A N D S... listen. i don’t have anything to say for myself this is just one of the most beautiful movies i’ve ever seen.

2. The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily Danforth

If I’m going to be totally honest I have a lot of trouble finding wlw YA novels I really vibe with. Nina Lacour’s books are pretty up there on my list, I loved Leah on the Offbeat when it came out, but for the most part i just find wlw ya stories hard to connect to. Reading this book changed that for me. Its portrayal of a tomboyish girl growing up in a really conservative area resonated with me so deeply, as well as her queer friends she was able to find and connect with even in the most traumatic environment. Cameron goes through some really heavy shit but the book ends on such a beautiful and poignant note of hope. This really is a book that made me feel seen.

3. The Half of it (2020)

Alice Wu said “I’m going to make a movie about a vaguely gnc Asian American protagonist who is a literary hoe and passionate about writing and music so basically Sarah as a coming of age teen movie protagonist” and you know what it gave me rights! This movie has no business being this fucking good for a teen coming of age “romcom”, for real. the absolutely phenomenal character work... the LAYERS in the writing... the cinematography... “gravity is matter’s response to loneliness” who said that” “I don’t know” “then you said it” I’M GONNA LOSE MY DAMN MIND!

4. She-Ra - season 5

The build-up to the series finale was just so incredibly well thought out and beautifully crafted months later i’m STILL shook about it. Catra and Adora’s relationship has been the driving force of the entire show, literally the nexus the whole story revolves around, and to know that all of it was intentionally building up to a romance is one of the most satisfying things narratively speaking I’ve ever experienced in real time. Also this entire season was just so beautifully written. Catra’s redemption arc, Adora’s arc and learning to harness her power without the sword, Spinnerella/Netossa’s heartrending side story, the final showdown with Horde Prime, just absolutely chef’s kiss.

5. The Last True Poets of the Sea by Julia Drake

This truly was the year of “Sarah finally gets all the quality wlw YA they have been needing and craving”! I just think the writing in this book is so brilliant, i love all the things Drake does with style and pov, and as a coming of age romance it’s just so charming and i love the aesthetic of it so much! Also i think this story is a brilliant adaptation of Twelfth Night, I mean frankly it didn’t even register for me that this was a twelfth night adaptation until after i finished it skdjnfsdknfs but as soon as I realized it it all made stunning sense. as well i just adore that the protagonist is allowed to be so complex and messy bc i feel like that’s actually pretty rare for female protagonists. it makes her all the more compelling as a main character!

6. On A Sunbeam by Tillie Walden

Gorgeous art, spell-binding world building [soft and dreamy space sci fi aesthetic!!!!!!!!!], there’s basically not a single man in this story, and all the characters are absolutely to die for. And the story is just so achingly tender, i love it so much. 10/10 would reread over and over and over again.

7. The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

The fantasy wlw story of my absolute dreams!!! This book is over 800 pages but it doesn’t feel like it, seriously, i inhaled it all in one day bc the story moves along at such a good pace and everything feels so naturally laid out. i absolutely adore the world building in this, i mean really how can you go wrong with DRAGONS??? and also the love story b/w Ead and Sabran in this story is insanely fucking good. nothing makes me more tender than the bodyguard/royal trope ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

8. This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

The writing in this is so, so breathtaking. I don’t even have the words to describe, it’s just such a beautiful book. it’s so beautiful that it made me, a known epistolary hater, into an epistolary lover. ITS POWER.

9. The Owl House - season 1

This one is only not as high as the others on the list bc I’ve had less time to get invested in it than shows like She Ra. But it is an insanely cute watch, i love the characters so much especially Luz, I love her relationship with Eda, I LOVE EDA, i love the way her friendships with the other characters evolve so naturally over the course of the show, and really it’s just such a fun and sweet show I adore it so much. [and fine okay amity’s crush on luz is the cutest damn thing i’ve ever seen are you happy]

10. Druck - season 6

ABSOLUTELY DO NOT @ ME also if i’m going to be 100% honest the only reason why this isn’t higher on the list is because at the time of writing this only two and a half episodes have aired sdkjfndksjfnsdkjfnskdnfskjn but really if you thought i wasn’t going to put a story about a black lesbian falling in love with a vietnamese bi girl on this list you are out of your damn mind

[honorary mention: @boxesfullofthoughts​‘ and my cyberpunk OCs Charlie Tang and Harper St. Clair I mean i am extremely up my own ass at all times but i can’t put my own characters for a story i haven’t even written yet on this list skjnfskj STILL I LOVE THEM AND WOULD DIE FOR THEM AND I HOPE THEY BOTH KNOW THAT]

[theseerasures]

Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2020

it’s that time of year again! *saddest toot from the party horn*

for those of you just joining us: it’s a “consume a different content every week for 48 weeks of the year” challenge. for a longer explanation, check out last year’s write-up here, and as always, feel free to pop in and ask questions about any and all of this content.

(same disclaimer as last year too: content for this project ONLY here, and not certain...*looks at my billion Sad Cop Lady posts*...hyperfixations.)

(man remember when i was big into X-Men comics earlier this year? better times than these, if only because no one's discoursing about Emma Frost’s woobie/war criminal ratio anymore--her w/w, if you will)

(...i swear at one point i didn’t exclusively like platinum blondes but alas)

Bitter Root (comic, 1 issue finished 1/1/2020): still very cool on a basic concept level, but runs into the Image Comics problem of just not having enough content to keep my interest beyond that. part of that is on me, for picking it up again BEFORE the second arc rolled out, but the first five issues didn’t really follow (or resolve) any cohesive story either, so...meh.

Immortal Hulk (comic, 3 trades finished 1/17/2020): still not gonna be something i care deeply about (maybe one of Bruce’s Hulksonas dyed his hair???), but i do want to give kudos to Al Ewing for sheer consistency in terms of sustaining this level of quality storytelling month by month for more than two years now. working with the dense archive of the Hulk mythos and managing to make it interesting and thoughtful is impressive even if i personally would not expend the same effort.

Disco Elysium (game, finished 1/18/2020): honestly i should have twigged onto what this year was gonna be like when the third thing i drew from the barrel was pure uncut Eastern European flavored depression. i faintly recall people ragging on it for being pretentiously cynical, but i actually thought its core slid more towards idealism than people give it credit for. also gratified that i haven’t heard anything about Robert Kurvitz using slave labor to finish it, which is a thing we have to say about our video games now!!! fun.

Watchmen (TV, 7 episodes finished 1/27/2020): i am a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof and I WAS RIGHT!!! honestly still cannot believe that he pulled off this highwire act with such deft aplomb. might be my favorite TV this year, which is a pretty high bar given how much TV i ended up watching.

On a Sunbeam (comic, finished 2/1/2020): Tillie Walden rightly deserves all the praise for inventive queer storytelling, but i will say that on reread--since i first read this as a webcomic--there ARE some issues with pacing here that clearly come from the foibles of its original intended medium. still just excellent, even if after some plot significant haircuts i was having trouble telling a few folks apart.

Lazarus (comic, 1 trade finished 2/8/2020): it’s so good and i want moooooorrrreee--though obviously Rucka and Lark have the right to take all the time they need. the newer longer issues work really well with the epic prestige drama vibes of the story! i’m into it.

The Good Place (TV, 4 seasons finished 2/18/2020): i’m gonna be super honest: i actually wasn’t a big fan of the finale, nor the last season as a whole. it felt like all of Eleanor’s flaws vanished for a majority of the season, and the Chidi-centric episode where they tried to give a legible justification for why he’s Like This was...i didn’t care for it. still, it’s so good and unique on the WHOLE that we’ll literally never get anything like this ever again, and that counts for a lot.

The Old Republic (game, finished 2/21/2020): it’s an MMO so it will never actually Be Finished so long as the servers aren’t shut down, but i caught up on the content i’d missed in the intervening months. Onslaught thus far has mostly been...kinda bland tbh; going back to Imps vs. Rebs after all the shakeups in the previous expansions feels like a waste.

High Road (album, finished 2/22/2020): someone should tell Kesha not to say that word!! otherwise i was very happy with this album, and happy FOR her even though we don’t know each other. being able to find joy again in the same genre of music you made while you were being horrifically exploited is very cool.

Young Justice (TV, 13 episodes finished 2/28/2020): given how much the middle stuff dragged--STOP KILLING YOUR HIJABI CHARACTER IN HORRIFIC WAYS--i was...actually kinda mad by how the end managed to stick the landing anyway. the day being saved by Vic’s self-acceptance and Violet’s sublime compassion was A+, and even the Brion/Tara switchup was a pleasant surprise, though it relied on me caring about Brion MUCH MORE than i actually did.

Manic (album, finished 2/29/2020): do people still care for/about Halsey? i feel like even That One Song that was on every tumblr gifset ever has kinda faded into obscurity at this point. this album was...okay. i feel like people give Halsey a pass for extremely obvious lyrical turns that they wouldn’t for other folks because of her subject material--which is fine. not really my cup of tea, but i also listened to lots of Relient K this year, so that’s probably a good thing.

Jade Empire (game, 3/10/2020): the only 3D-era Bioware game that didn’t franchise out, and for good fucking reason!!! the Orientalism and appropriation really haven’t aged well, and even beyond that the story was...standard Bioware faire. even my usual “my wife’s a bitch i love her” Bioware type didn’t do it for me, and i just ended up romancing no one. it did make me think a lot about what level of cultural borrowing is accepted nowadays, and why: people still look fondly at Avatar and talk about how ~accurate and respectful it was, for example, despite it being staffed almost entirely by white folks, and the Orientalism ALL OVER the monk class in DND is still fine for some reason.

Alif the Unseen (book, finished 3/31/2020): interesting to have read this AFTER reading The Bird King last year, because it highlights how the intervening years have shifted G. Willow Wilson’s thematic interest and improved her craft. i’m actually quite fond of how her characterization work is rougher here--Alif is extremely flawed to the point of being insufferable, but it makes his development by the end more satisfying. Dina is also just good and i love her

Baldur’s Gate (2 games, finished 5/31/2020): well, having finally finished the series i’m happy to say that it...still doesn’t really do it for me, sorry. any awesome story moments were overshadowed by the EXCRUCIATING inventory management system and the combat (i still don’t know what a THAC0 is and at this point i’m afraid to find out). these games crucially lack the Home Base that later Bioware games were so good about, and that (coupled with the huge cast of characters you can drop off and never see again) really hurts the intimacy for me. by the time we finally did get one it was the Hell Dimension in Throne of Bhaal, and i was just...trying to get through it. (yes, i did just say that about one of the most beloved expansions ever to one of the most beloved games ever.) THIS particular iteration of “my wife’s a bitch i love her” was very good, but the game wouldn’t let me romance her :(

The Underground Railroad (book, finished 6/19/2020): honestly what is there even left to say at this point! it was exactly as good as every critic on the planet said it was, even with my usual aversion to hype. draining and horrifying in turns but still insistent upon a future for Black folks.

Steven Universe (6 seasons and a mooooooviiieeee, finished 7/11/2020): yes, i DID finish the show and almost immediately begin a rewatch. this series is now one of my top five most formative things, and the amount of love and respect i have for it is incalculable. that said: i once again did not love how the central conflict of Future was resolved (just the resolution--i loved the finale just fine). for all of Steven’s breakdown was built up, resolving it with “EVERYONE HUG HIM UNTIL HE CRIES” felt...cheap, especially since up until this point the show had been so good about treating trauma and mental illness with the respect and nuance it deserves. it made me wish some of the earlier, less substantial episodes had been cut so we could spend more time at the end.

What It Is (comic, finished 8/19/2020): y’all i love Lynda Barry SO MUCH. for the longest time i was worried that One Hundred Demons was more a lightning in a bottle situation but every book of hers i pick up makes me feel obscure emotions i didn’t even realize existed. the compassionate way she’s able to describe her child self and how weird and fucked up she was (and still is) is honestly aspirational.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (TV, 5 seasons finished 9/26/2020): so here’s a reversal of what i’ve been complaining about with other shows: i was mostly lukewarm-to-warm about She-Ra, but the later seasons and the finale made me much more into it as a whole. more shows should improve in stakes and overall quality as they age tbh!! i still don’t actively love Catradora (my sole quibble with season 5 actually has to do with the way Adora kept backsliding as a character to make certain Plot/Relationship things happen), but i’m very happy for them nonetheless. i can certainly appreciate a show that will go for High Feeling over tight plot. dark horse standout moments: trees growing everywhere proving that Perfuma Was Right, and Hordak and Adora seeing each other--that weirdly intimate moment of recognition.

Fetch the Bolt Cutters (album, finished 10/7/2020): again i find myself not having much to say that no one else has said. it’s good! once again love it when an artist reclaims something they’d attached with negative affect (anxiety, depression, disordered eating) for better and brighter things.

Solutions and Other Problems (comic, finished 10/25/2020): i was very into Allie Brosh’s ambition with this book, which feels weird to say but i stand by it. it’s cool to see an artist try to make a new medium work for them instead of just sticking to what already works. not all the experimentation was 100% effective, but it was still delightful and occasionally devastating to read, so.

Legend of Zelda (3 games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Link Between Worlds, finished 11/1/2020): this was the third time i’d played Ocarina of Time, which made it the nice, comforting groove i settled into before Majora’s Mask blatted me in the face. i’m not usually a completionist Zelda person because...the gameplay in Zelda is bad, do not at me it just is, but i really felt like i HAD to be one for Majora’s Mask since the whole point is to get attached to the banalities of the town. i’m sure nobody’s surprised that i loved it, even if it gave me an existential crisis about how life goes on in the game for NPCs when you’re not there to save them from it, and there’s not enough time to save them all all the time (also not a surprise to anyone: Romani and Cremia gave Personal Feelings). Link Between Worlds...bad. not like in a “this is a bad story by every measurable gauge” way, but i was already struggling with the 2D playstyle shift enough that for the whole story to end with some “yes it’s v sad that Lorule is Like This but trying to steal Hyrule’s privilege is Even Worse Actually” noblesse oblige bullshit left a VERY poor taste in my mouth, this year of all years. i did audibly gasp when Ravio took off his mask, though. i’m currently playing Breath of the Wild in cautious increments; it’s the first time i’ve enjoyed early Zelda gameplay, but if they wanted fully voiced cutscenes i wish they got voice actors who...knew what words sound like.

folklore (album, finished 11/6/2020): my belief that Taylor Swift is Just Fine continues, i’m afraid. i LIKED this album, don’t get me wrong, and respect her constant drive to innovate, but i didn’t love it substantially more or less than any other Taylor Swift album. mostly i’m just tickled by how she thinks leaning into the indie aesthetic means borrowing Vita Sackville-West’s entire wardrobe, though i will admit to feeling Something when she swore in a song. i think it was like. savage vindication?? you go ahead and swear, Taylor Swift. you deserve it.

Shore (album, finished 11/19/2020): do people still care about the Fleet Foxes? i think there was some Drama with Josh Tillman a while back but i don’t remember where the discourse landed with who was being more problematic. it was nostalgic for me to listen to their new album--made me remember being an undergrad who exclusively listened to men who mumbled and played acoustic guitar all over again.

Star Wars (3 movies: original trilogy, finished 11/27/2020): there is So Much bad Star Wars these days that every time i rewatch the original trilogy i’m afraid that they will suddenly be bad, but guess what! they’re not. i love these children and their hot mess stories, i love that Lando doesn’t know how to say his best friend’s name. what stood out to me this time was the way Obi-Wan described the Force in A New Hope, which strongly implied that ANYONE can be Force Sensitive; that obviously faded with each subsequent movie, but part of me does wish they’d kept it.

X of Swords (comics, 22 issues finished 12/5/2020): i am enjoying Hickman’s X-lines!!! not so much here for the Grand Conspiracy or whatever, but the character work and highkey weirdness is fabulous--they FEEL like X-Men, despite all the shakeups in-universe. this crossover is a nice microcosm of all that: grandiloquently all over the place, but still full of cool standout moments and genuine hilarity. ILLYANA DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MAGIC.

Fire Emblem (4 games: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, finished 12/14/2020): this was the thing that i was closest to giving up early on, but i ended up hyperfixating on it instead. that’s a credit to what the gameplay does to my lizard brain more than anything else, because the story and character writing is...insipid. it was very bizarre to witness this franchise blunder around with its animal-people racism allegory around the same time i was getting back into RWBY, and ITS animal-people racism allegory blunders. Awakening was the first time i felt anything for the franchise beyond “teehee red units disappear make exp bar go up and brain go ding,” so i’m excited for more mature storytelling in subsequent games (they MUST get better. they MUST). the child husbandry thing is...very bad tho, and Apotheosis being “challenging” entirely through the game changing all the rules is also bad.

once again no vidya games that came out this year--i’ll probably pick up Spiritfarer or Hades after the New Year, though (or maybe TLOU II! but probably not. sry Laura and Ashley). more TV and franchises this year, which made me feel In Touch with the Children but was also kinda exhausting. nothing was so egregiously terrible i dropped it without finishing! in a year like this that feels almost like an accomplishment

[lexpistachio]

Hi lex, i had a question. Are there lgbtq books/comics that you enjoyed that you think are more representative and are narratively better than cp? If you do i would love to check more out and get a feel for the differences.

Not gonna lie, I’ve been hemming and hawing about how to answer this ask haha. But thank you for your q!!!

Yes, there are a lot of lgbt books/comics that I have enjoyed better than CP and that I think are narratively better and which treatment of LGBT issues I did find more satisfying.

But I’ve also read (and critiqued) CP by itself, like how I read any other works, and try to come up with things that are objectively enjoyable about it and things I don’t like about it in a vacuum.  I wanted to shy away from making any comparisons, lest it be incongruous or void. I didn’t want to be unfair in comparing it to a work of a different medium or genre, or make hierarchies on works that tackle LGBT issues based on their treatment of it. And anyway, I feel like the brunt of my criticisms about CP has something to do with its abandonment of some of its storylines and its uncompelling character arcs and story. That is to say, I think… maybe any other well-structured, well-written story will do? 

For instance, I just recently finished Andre Aciman’s Call Me By Your Name, and it’s a coming-of-age love story between two guys with a sizeable age difference, and further, it’s a story where there are no extrinsic deterrents to their relationship and what drives the story are just their feelings, how they act on it and don’t act on it, and y’all it doesn’t even tackle coming out, or homophobia; in those aspects, you can compare it to CP, and it just does a better job of addressing the issue of age difference or in general, just expressing the nature of desire and physicality and confusion that comes with First Love. The younger guy’s insecurity, while it was assuaged, never really went away, but at least it was addressed. Are the two works really comparable? No. But did I enjoy it better? Absolutely. And it’s the same for like, I guess 90% of LGBT works I’ve read vis a vis CP.

And I have read a lot of stuff. In the interest of full disclosure, I did grow up reading shonen-ai and yaoi?? If you know what those are, you won’t be surprised at how fluffy comics with “queer” characters has existed long before CP (or, while at it, how reminiscent zim*its is of a traditional yaoi pairing with the Hunky Seme and blushing virginal Uke; might be also why i hate the pairing for how i’ve seen that dynamics a million times before). Though I make no value judgments about yaoi, I guess what I’m trying to say is that there are a LOT of romance (and even scifi and fantasy) LGBT works that don’t focus on queer issues, and they aren’t less enjoyable for that fact. The key is deciding early on if queer issues such as  homophobia is something to be dealt with in the comic’s universe, and not flip flop midway and ending lacklustre and lacking like how CP did it. I guess I wanted to address the point that our criticisms of its lack of discussion about stuff is waived because CP is “supposed to be fluffy”; I maintain that it’s worthy of criticism because it wasn’t consistent on its discussion. Shhh this stays as a secret lol but one of the earliest yaoi novel I remember reading was this pulp trashy novel Only The Ring Finger Knows and it’s about two guys falling for each other and navigating their relationship and living together and they don’t really face scrutiny for being gay. But all their insecurities and all the misunderstandings were addressed properly, and it’s not Man Booker material but I remember feeling satisfied.

In addition, I do believe that the Coming Out story where the protagonist comes out stronger™ for it is as cliche as they come. 

One of the most nonchalant mention of sexuality that I can remember is from one of my favorite webcomics ever– The Less Than Epic Adventures of TJ and Amal--when TJ gets asked if he’s gay and he replies, “I ping all I am ninja.” But it’s also a story about a POC who’s gay and trapped in an arranged marriage, but it doesn’t dwell on that and the story keeps moving. At the heart of that comic is just two guys finding themselves and falling in love while on a roadtrip. That’s as tropey as you get, and yet the character development is to die for.

There’s a lot of LGBT stories where the queerness aren’t used solely as a device to drive a larger story. There is A LOT.

Off the top of my head, Sarah Waters has historical novels like Fingersmith and Tipping the Velvet that are more plot-driven, doesn’t deal with the queer issues, but have women falling in love and being happy together. Fingersmith is also where the movie The Handmaiden is based from, which if you haven’t watched, should. Some of David Levithan’s stories deal with homophobia, but most are just guys falling in love and being happy and cute.  Hanya Yanagihara’s A Little Life–a read I don’t recommend to anyone dear to me– has its protagonist fall in love with his Hollywood celebrity best friend (though I think the takeaway from this novel is that love doesn’t cure trauma, though people suffering from it can be happy) and there is no fuss about their queerness at all, and the book is actually nominated for a Man Booker.

There are also works like Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (POC, LGBT), or Perry Moore’s Hero, or  Tillie Walden’s autobiographical graphic novel Spinning (LGBT, sports) that are about coming-of-age and aren’t afraid to tackle the warping effect of homophobia, the feelings of shame and fear that comes with being queer in a realistic world, and yet did not demure to end on a hopeful note.

I know the webcomic Tripping Over You is but a fluffy slice-of-life that’s just two guys who are in a relationship, talking it out and that’s it?? And it’s satisfying, and I can’t help but highlight how the coming out story of one of its characters, Liam, to his father was nothing but his decision to make, despite all the hiding he did was affecting his relationship with his partner as well. That coming out arc was a blip in the larger story arcs that are… their relationship and about being adults. 

And I mean you even have fanfics that include that feature its characters coming out, and I have read a disturbing amount of fics you guys, even hockey rpf featuring different pairings, that discuss the issues that CP seemed to present (but didn’t follow through on) in a better way. I remember this lowkey one about a beat reporter starting a relationship with a professional hockey player, and the difference in their status is addressed, financially and in other terms, and that both of them are fully cognizant about these things as they proceed with the relationship. And the hopeful coming out scenario is a product of playing out the consequences of it and the alternative. I also remember this moment in that fic where the main POV character deals with a panic attack with his partner present, and it’s so much powerful to me than anything CP has shown about mental health. 

In terms of mental health, I remember reading Tobias and Guy which is as light and fluffy as you get when a guy (literally named Guy) falls in love with a demon guy, and has this arc when Guy dealt with depression while in that relationship, and it was short and succinct but dared one of its characters to at least ask “but his family are loving and are supportive of him. how can he think like that?” for the sake of expounding the topic. I think it’s an okay portrayal of how partners in a relationship might deal in a situation where on suffers from mental health illness. I feel like the show You’re The Worst has also been exemplary in that regard. SKAM’s season 3  deals with internal homophobia and mental health illness while in a relationship and coming out (with none of the backlash of homophobia like CP) but doesn’t deal with cliches, and remains as a compelling and moving story.

In terms of insight into sports, a notable read for me is Nina Revoyr’s The Necessary Hunger (LGBT, POC, Sports), as it treated the sport the characters are in as integral part of who they are, which, I think is an effective use of the sports as a genre. As a manga-reader though, I’ve been spoiled by sports manga which are the best! sports! comics! (Slam Dunk! Hajime no Ippo! Hikaru no Go!) because they deal with their respective sport with so much insight, aplomb and passion, viewed in the eyes of the hero who’s in a journey to triumph. In manga, even baking bread can be a sport haha. To be honest these sports comics don’t need to have an athlete’s insider info on the world it’s set in. They just have to be believable. CP, I think, lacks both believability and insight, and more importantly, a deep tangible way the sports affects its protagonist. I find that so unsatisfying. I’m looking forward to how well C.S. Pacat’s Fence does.

My favorite college slice-of-life comic isn’t LGBT however, but it’s about a group of occasionally-starved college students in an art school. I read/saw the anime when I was in high school and has since stuck with me. I was equally invested in each of the characters’ storylines, not much like how I lost interest in CP after Rans and Holster and Shitty and Lardo were relegated to the fawning supportive straight friends stereotypes. The main romance doesn’t detract from the characters having their own stories and careers they want to fulfill. Even the POV character, who wasn’t my fave, had an endearing and compelling story.

As a bottomline: I don’t think there is a holy grail of lgbt works insomuch as they subjectively appeals to us. These are just some works that stand out to my memory and there are various takeaways from each for our purpose of comparison, but there are tons of material out there, LGBT and otherwise. SERIOUSLY. And I think there’s nothing wrong with trying it out one work at a time, see if it pings you. Trust your judgment friend!

[annasellheim]

What art/artists do you think have influenced you and your work?

A lot of manga artists- whoever drew the mega of Tenchi Muyo, Ramika Takahashi and Akira Toriyama (all the spelling of these names are wrong sorry). I learned how to draw feet from studying Dragon Ball Z manga obsessively. I drew in an anime style from  5th-8th grade when all of a sudden I was like, “FUCK ANIME I HATE THIS!!!” and I literally didn’t watch it again with very few exceptions (like, I would check out new Tezuka books that came out) until LITERALLY last week when I was like, “Man, this ONE guy seems real cool what is his work about?” And I watched Mob Psycho 100 and One Punch Man and they were great.

Jhonen Vasquez and Roman Dirge were big influencers in late middle school/ early high school. I also went through a phase where I copied Jeffrey Brown and Ripple by Dave Cooper. And then there was the whole overdrawing phase because I copied the hell out of early HATE! by Peter Bagge (Peter Bagge rules by the way. His art is outdated but his comics are still some of my faves). But it was always fused with huge eyes because of my anime roots.

Then I stopped copying people as much, but I’ve stolen aspects from a lot of art I’ve seen on here.

In grad school I started experimenting with style really consciously. I needed to draw a comic that took place in a car at night (Petty) so I ripped off @charlesforsman for that. I then wanted to try something new with my mini thesis so I tried aping @lucyknisley . And then I was like, “Dude I’m not really digging these dot eyes,” and I was doing a comic about a party full of punks that was heavily influenced by @lizsuburbia and @racheldukes ‘s thesis (she’s a CCS alum too) so I changed the eyes and that’s the current style I’ve got going. Or at least, the current non realistic fiction style. Theres’ also the abstract autobio style, which came out of fucking no where, and my more realistic like somber emo style (so Fractured and But You Were Beautiful) which came out of me learning how to draw in a cast. 

 And then there’s artists I actually know. Tillie Walden was the one who taught me color theory (my instinct is to use ALL of the bright colors, but no people want limited pallets like fools). @stephaniezuppo was like “Hey! Did you know spot blacks exist???” 

That’s the art part. Writing wise, Lynda Barry, Jeffrey Brown, and Chris Ware were PROBABLY my big influences. Lynda Barry’s comics specifically have deep and real emotions, mostly sadness, that exude from them and I think they really influenced me. I’ve been told my early comics look like her early comics and I kind of see it, but she’s really an amazing cartoonist.

[cadencekismet]

Top ten of 2018

I haven’t read as much as I usually do this year, but I should still have read ten books good enough for my top ten list.

We’re going to start with movies/tv though. I’ve only got three here.

1. Black Panther. If you’ve somehow been sleeping on this one, wake up and watch it. I’m not a big superhero movie person and even I loved it.

2. Casablanca. Took me long enough. But it’s a really good movie, with the sort of queer subtext that even my dad can pick up on (seriously, you have no idea how weird it was to me when they walked off together at the end and he gave me the old person equivalent of “I ship it”. Super strange.) Plus the morals about fighting back against the nazis. The history of this movie. Worth watching.

3. V for Vendetta. I know. Believe me, I know! I wouldn’t have watched it at all if not for a tumblr post about how V isn’t actually the main character, but I’m really glad I did. It’s super interested in queerness and it has Stephen Fry and (honestly, this was the thing that amused me the most) the entire ending of “The Empty Hearse” from Sherlock was lifted practically wholesale from this movie. If you want to be annoyed about s4 of Sherlock all over again or if you want fuel for your tinhatting, watch/rewatch this movie.

Books

1. They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us by Hanif Abdurraqib. This book is my favorite thing I read all year and I wasn’t even expecting to like it. It’s a series of essays about music, and I don’t really listen to much music like that. It’s not about the music, guys. Like Maggie Nelson’s The Argonauts, this book is a sort of political theoretical memoir. He’s a poet, and you can tell from the way he uses language. It’s fucking miraculous. This book is published by a small press too, which means you can read it and not support Penguin Random House holding 4/5 of the publishing industry. Everyone should read this.

2. On Canaan Side by Sebastian Barry. Listen, Barry is another one who just... his command of language can take my breath away. I read this one because I had read Days Without End. This one is very different but also lovely. An old woman decides to kill herself and writes her life story to explain why. It’s bittersweet and tender.

3. Swimmer Among the Stars by Kanishk Tharoor. This is a book of short stories. I particularly recommend the very first (titular) story, mostly because it is about languages and how they evolve and I’m so excited about that. All the stories were great, I can’t honestly think of one I disliked. It was an excellent book that everyone should read.

4. On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden. Um, guys, Walden wrote a masterpiece here. This is a graphic novel with an all female (and queer) cast taking place somewhere in space. It’s gorgeous, the writing is beautiful, I’m in love with every single character... I wasn’t too excited about her last book (probably wouldn’t have bought this one if I’d figured out why her name looked so familiar) but this book. Y’all, I’m so grateful that I didn’t miss out on this book.

5. Winter by Ali Smith. (I can’t remember if I included How to be Both in last year’s list or not, but if I didn’t, this item counts for both.) The second of an eventual quartet named after the seasons, (they don’t share characters so far so no need to read Autumn first) this is a story about hope and redemption. It’s... I don’t think I actually like any of the characters? They’re all a little bit conservative except for Ire. But the whole book is so compassionate and the characters mature and you get the idea that maybe they can learn to do better. Autumn was supposed to be the first post-brexit novel and you can see a lot of that same wrestling with the unexpected conservatism of an entire country here, but it feels hopeful too, like spring is coming.

6. Dactyl Hill Squad by Daniel Jose Older. Full disclosure, this is a kids book. It’s written for ten-year-olds. But. It’s a kickass story about prejudice and dinosaurs and kids being bullied over the color of their skin. It’s really stunning and I 100% recommend it to anyone who likes adventure. Older also wrote Shadowshaper and it’s sequel for YA audiences and Half-Resurrection Blues and its sequel(s?) for grownups. I cannot tell you how much I admire this author. He’s fantastic. I don’t use twitter, but when I do I always check up on his. He’s my hero.

7. Invisible Planets by Ken Liu. This is a collection of short Chinese sci-fi stories translated by the guy who translates the Three-Body Problem books. It’s so damn good, guys. I don’t know that anyone would like all of it, because he made a real effort to include a wide variety of stories but everyone should find something. My favorite premise is from “Folding Beijing” where the whole city folds and unfolds every day. The titular story is a spoof on Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino with more interest in the impact of colonialism. There was an excellent story on censorship whose name I can’t remember... Totally worth reading if you’re interested in sci-fi or even just willing to give it a try.

8. Measure for Measure by William Shakespeare. Yeah, look, I know. It’s not that if you hate Shakespeare you’ll magically love this one. It’s just that, as someone who loves Shakespeare, this was a wonderful nuanced portrait of many terrible terrible people. (tw for rape, attempted rape, attempted gaslighting, and acephobic language, among other things. Also, there’s an ace character but he’s a dick.) I loved this play so much, I can’t even tell you, and if you’re ever looking for a super awful play about super awful people, this is the play for you. It’s fantastic.

9. The Gift Horse and Other Stories by Kate Cruise O’Brien. This book of interconnected short stories is about the after affects of trauma, both of the personal familial sort and the larger national type. O’Brien is an Irish author and this book deals with the troubles, among other things. I loved it so much that I finished it and went out and bought her next collection, even though I would be flying internationally and couldn’t carry too many books.

10. The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri. I’ve been recommended Lahiri’s work for years but I’ve never gotten around to reading her before. I shouldn’t have waited so long. This was a great story about names and culture clash between generations. It was about assimilation and about making connections. If you get a chance, definitely pick this up.

[theseerasures]

Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2019

i mean, everyone's doing these write-ups, right? might as well hop onto the bandwagon

towards the end of last year i had one of my typical existential crises about my media consumption: am i slowly disappearing up my own ass because i no longer care about most of the pop culture people like to discuss ad nauseam? but on the other hand, isn’t it more responsible to find the niche items made by non-mainstream and marginalized creators? on the third hand, wouldn’t i be much happier if i just watched FMA Brotherhood over and over again, preferably while starting a new Mass Effect playthrough at the same time?

the answer to all these questions is probably “yes,” but i decided to try something different going into 2019. for every week of the year, i would try to get through a year’s worth of content for some kind of media, be it comics, video games, TV, etc--they didn’t all have to be recent, or even new to me, but once i was done with that week i’d be done, even if i didn’t finish the content, and i’d make a judgement based what i’d seen on whether i want to continue. mostly, i was trying to avoid what happened to me with video games in 2018, when i was hating every second of playing Uncharted but still felt obligated to finish because everyone and their houseplant liked Uncharted or listlessly doing the Master Hunter achievement in RDR2 because the main quest made me miserable.

the actual outcomes of this Project(tm) are a little more complicated than anticipated--some media i could finish in a day, while trying to play through ALL THE CONTENT OF AN MMO understandably took much longer than a week--but it all kind of evened out. in the end i did 48 weeks of this, and used December as my catch-ups month to follow up on some things i didn’t get to finish. i thought i’d give my thoughts on each of the things i consumed this year as part of this project below in a concise manner--and yes, i know the people who’ve read even one (1) thing i’ve written are probably laughing right now, particularly given how long i took in this introduction just to get to me point, but i really am going to try!! it’s all an exercise in shameless self-indulgence, basically, but hey: if any of you want to chat at length about any of this stuff below, hit me up.

(quick note: you’ll only find media that i chose for this particular project below, so things i watched socially with friends--like certain film properties slorping me back into Disney’s gelatinous monolith--are not included)

Devilman Crybaby (anime, finished 1/5/2019): honestly i should have twigged onto what the year was going to be like when the first thing i drew from the metaphorical barrel was demon tiddies and apocalyptic existentialism. i was determined to dislike it for most of the year due to fundamentally disagreeing with its main thematic thrust, but i kept THINKING about it even months after. at this point i’ve kinda mellowed out. it’s definitely not a must love, but there’s enough queer metaphor and philosophical richness in it to make it worth checking out.

Attack on Titan (manga, 3 volumes finished 1/12/2019): this is the second time i’ve tried to get into this franchise and...yeah, no. i still don’t see the appeal. the fascistic overtones juxtaposed with absolutely no one having a sense of humor wigs me out to no end.

Young Justice (TV, 2.5 seasons finished 1/31/2019): honestly, what even is there to say? they’re my kids. they’re back and grown up and making even more terrible decisions. i screamed when i saw Babs in her wheelchair.

Black Leopard, Red Wolf (book, finished 2/10/2019): i tried VERY HARD to like this book, given how much i liked Brief History of Seven Killings, but it just...didn’t click for me. which honestly is fine, since i don’t think it was made for me either.

Dragon Age (3 games, finished 2/28/2019): i feel like there’s always a part of me that’s going to think of this series as “the other one,” but y’know. it’s good. it’s my second playthrough (as a mage for all three) and it’s good! i even went around killing all the dragons in Inquisition because Knight Enchanter was a blast. appreciate the higher queer content vis-a-vis Mass Effect, even though i couldn’t care less about any of the plot. Dragon Age II is the best one, do not @ me

Bitter Root (comic, 4 issues finished 3/1/2019): i love intergenerational dramas and i love stories about vampire slayers, so this was aces. my only complaint is the pacing was a little slow for a story that was going on hiatus after five issues.

Pearl (comic, 6 issues finished 3/3/2019): i know that he’s done great things and grudgingly admit that he’s probably a net positive in the industry but Brian Michael Bendis can suck my entire dick

Lazarus (comic, 5 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i really thought this was going to clench the position for comic of the year. it’s Rucka doing Highly Relevant Dystopia! it’s a corporate Lannisters AU! it’s a highly personal story about a woman with high privilege and little agency! what more could you want

Immortal Hulk (comic, 2 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i vibed with the horror feel, but i don’t honestly think it’s THAT exceptional. being set in 616-verse means there was still ton of baggage i didn’t know or care about, since i’ve now swung more to the DC side of things

thank u, next (album, finished 3/5/2019): didn’t Ariana Grande get canceled this year for some reason? oh well, i liked her album

When I Get Home (album, finished 3/13/2019): i vividly remember listening to this for the first time and feeling vaguely disappointed that it wasn’t more like Seat at the Table until i realized that i was covered in goosebumps. still don’t understand the magic but it is Good

The Bird King (book, finished 3/23/2019): pretty much everything you’d expect from a G. Willow Wilson book--spirituality, the female lead finding Themselves and the Answer and learning they’re the same thing, etc etc. i’m slightly resentful that her Wonder Woman was so lackluster while this was so good, but whatevs

Psychodrama (album, finished 3/29/2019): possibly my favorite album of the year? dense and emotionally raw in a way i really appreciate. Dave has a Mercury and he’s younger than me

Mass Effect (4 games, finished 4/7/2019): wow guys did you know that Mass Effect is good! it is. all of it is actually, even the Mass Effect 3 ending, another controversial finale to a big franchise that i will obstinately defend. even Andromeda, which isn’t AS good as the trilogy but still has a lot of heart. all its bugs have been exhaustively patched since launch anyway

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV, 4 seasons finished 5/13/2019): i’m...still kind of mad about this finale, but can’t exactly deny that this show is one of the best things to ever happen to me, or television probably. i didn’t even mind new!Greg that much! tho he was probably the nail on the coffin of me jumping onto the Nathaniel train.

Knights of the Old Republic/The Old Republic (3 games, finished 7/4/2019): did you guys know that KOTOR II was my first ever video game? i feel like that...explains a lot about me. anyway, the first game is a classic and the second is a deconstructive classic and playing either of them is basically a fun way for me to turn off my brain these days. even the MMO wasn’t as much of slog as i worried it would be. the Imperial Agent storyline had some nice surprises and i dig the general atmosphere of ruthless pragmatism and crushing loneliness.

Wanderers (book, finished 7/13/2019): Chuck Wendig is a very well-intentioned man in dire need of a strict editor. still good tho! some VERY punchy emotional bits and an ending that still leaves me with vague existential terror.

Code Geass (anime, 2 seasons finished 7/20/2019): i feel like this is on the polar opposite of the spectrum as Devilman Crybaby, because i don’t think Geass is GOOD on like, any basis, and i actually find its central moral message kind of abhorrent? but some part of my lizard brain LOVED the High Imperial Family Drama (it’s been a good year for me and Lannister types, hasn’t it? well, with the obvious exception of--never mind), so...yeah. have i discovered the true meaning of guilty pleasure

The Farewell (movie, finished 7/23/2019): how could i not a) watch this and b) love this and c) feel emotionally cold towards this at the same time because the situations depicted were so similar to mine that i ended up feeling kind of alienated

The Nickel Boys (book, finished 8/8/2019): i STILL haven’t read Underground Railroad, but here i am a book late and a dollar short to appreciate Whitehead’s new book. the man’s stylistic versatility is jaw-dropping and i appreciate the plotting in contrast to like, 90% of the litfic out there that’s just “protagonist sad in different milieu”

Durarara (anime, 2 seasons finished 8/31/2019): it’s fucking bonkers and i loved pretty much every second of it? even the second season, where i finally got the BruceNat AU i deserved??? the first anime i’ve seen where everyone was relatively soberly dressed. the answer was love and having feelings and asking your middle school best friend to hurl you like a projectile so you can chop your girlfriend’s head off with a demon katana

Lover (album, finished 9/1/2019): i feel like with all the Discourse surrounding Taylor Swift re: she’s the devil incarnate or re: she’s good, actually the fact that she makes fucking bops gets kind of lost in the conversation. i have no vested interest in her as a person but i liked Lover, even though London Boy was “what if Style but stupid”

Are You Listening (comic, finished 10/2/2019): my actual choice for best comic of the year if i were giving out awards like that. it’s coming of age! it’s grief! it’s queers! it’s trauma! it’s magical realism! it’s cats! it’s expressive gorgeous art! Tillie Walden has an Eisner and she’s younger than me

High School DxD (manga, 2 volumes finished 10/10/2019): i don’t even know how to talk about this series?? i actually kind of came around to the whole “main character is a perv but goes hard for consent” by the end of the second volume, but it’s still...bad. i only can have lingering conflicted feelings about one Japanese adaptation of Christian mythology per year

Ghosteen (album, finished 10/18/2019): much like Immortal Hulk i thought it was fine but over-hyped. it’s Nick Cave doing his Nick Cave ethereal music thing. i still can’t tell what any of the lyrics mean, except Jesus is there sometimes

Watchmen (TV, 2 episodes finished 10/29/2019): i am nOT FUCKING CAUGHT UP so please watch out for spoilers. it is on my high priority list of things to be caught up on tho--i appreciate that the plot is blatantly unsubtle but still manages to give me aneurysms and i appreciate the political overtones just kinda...balances on a razor thin wire and also gives me aneurysms. i wanna say i have no expectations and would be fine if it does a full dive into the horrible bland depths of the both-sides porridge, but i’m sadly a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof

Syllabus/Making Comics (2 comics, finished 12/24/2019): it’s funny--even before Making Comics came out i was like “man i miss Lynda Barry” and then BAM. it’s incredible how her work just makes me feel taken care of, even when we’re wrestling with tough topics or she’s demanding that i draw a Batman in 30 seconds. kudos for immediately shooting to the top of my gift list for my sister also

Allegiance/Choices of One (2 books, finished 12/24/2019): fun and largely inoffensive, but i was honestly hoping for more. the level of Empire apologia going on was too much for me, someone who thinks Mara Jade is the best Star Wars character of all time (still?????? still). it reeked a little of Zahn believing his own hype as the only valid guy in Star Wars Legends of whatever

Aldnoah.Zero (anime, 1 season finished 12/24/2019): turns out i also can only have “trash but my trash” feelings about one Japanese mecha show with higher art pretensions and patriotism verging into jingoism per year, and this one ain’t it. it’s not as good as Code Geass and Code Geass ISN’T GOOD. at least Geass attempted character complexity and moved at enough of a breakneck pace to distract me from its questionable bits. Aldnoah is just...bland, and nothing gets accomplished or revealed in 12 episodes, except the baffling and contradictory motivations of the main bad guy.

Baldur’s Gate (game, unfinished): yet again something i really wanted to like, given *gestures at all the BioWare above*. i think it’s mainly the Seinfeld issue, where it actually predates my own experience with video games and was so formative for the Western RPG genre that what was innovative just comes across as kind of staid now. i didn’t DISLIKE it, and will probably play the sequel since it’s supposed to be more character-driven, but by the time i finished the vanilla campaign i just didn’t have it in me to squint at more tiny avatars on the screen, so the expansions ended up a no-go.

most prominent thing i noticed about this list is that only one 2019 movie made it on the list and ZERO 2019 video games did so. the former i’m okay with because i currently live with two film people with whom i’m happy to tag along to the cinema. the latter bums me out a little more, because there WERE a few things i wanted to play this year, but all of them came out just as my semester was reaching its catastrophic boil, so i had no time. maybe i’ll use my free time after the New Year festivities to catch up on those.

to conclude: this worked out pretty well! i ended up finishing all but one of the things, and only a few were bad enough that i have no interest in seeking out more content. i’ll probably do this again in 2020--we’ll see if the scheduling can withstand a full year of grad school hell