#tiktok is genuinely better than tumblr when it comes to politics

[shaneyunfiltered]

I think I might stop trusting Tumblr when it comes to politics. Remember the old days of the internet when Tumblr was widely mocked for its irrationally liberal leaning? The same Tumblr that was dumb enough to think it could take on 4chan and win?

Yeah, Tumblr is really starting to regress to that same point now. It might be even worse now, due to the absolutely violent lack of decorum and decency this recent infestation of whiny, unhinged liberal fucknuts have for anyone who dared to vote third party instead of an establishment Zionist who has practically the exact same platform as Trump, and may or may not have even proven that the Democrats have observably failed to convince the American people that they have any convincing plan worth a damn other than the extremely vague, uncertain, fearmongering suggestion that they might be less oppressive than Trump. Keyword being might.

It's just fucking weird and disturbing that these liberals are calling for literal death threats towards anyone who didn't vote for Harris, I shit you not. I'm getting a very strong feeling that this all might be a highly elaborate Zionist psyop, because you know which exact voter demographic Kamala Harris ended up alienating the most?

Muslim Americans.

Just look at any fucking interview with any American citizen of the Muslim faith, many of these people who actually come from Palestine themselves, and how personally they express that they don't feel represented sufficiently enough by either the Republicans or the Democrats, that they only felt heard by third-party candidates such as Jill Stein, who actually had their best interests in mind instead of exploiting them for their vote just so they can continue to be ignored and oppressed in this already godforsaken country. Look at any of those and then TRY to tell them to their faces that they're somehow terrible people for not voting for the politicians who very clearly do not give a single, solitary fuck about them. I fucking dare you.

On that note, does anyone else find it absolutely sad and pathetic that these dumbfuck liberals honestly believe that things would've been even slightly better under Harris than under Trump? Did they not witness the absolute incompetence of the Democrats as they didn't do a goddamn thing to stop the Republicans from getting more of what they wanted under Biden than they ever did under Trump? What in the actual ass makes you idiots think Harris would have done any better? Because she's not a bumbling geezer like Biden? No, her policies are literally the same as Biden's, as the rest of the inherently inept, castrated state of the Democratic Party. She wouldn't have done jackshit, she'd just quietly allow those ruthlessly bigoted Republicans to continue getting what they want and wouldn't do a damn thing to stop them. You're a fucking idiot if you genuinely believe otherwise.

I am not kidding or exaggerating in the slightest when I say that I have heard exponentially more informed, balanced, rational, and most importantly, properly researched takes on this current election on motherfucking LeftTok than I ever heard from any of these insufferably whiny, disturbingly vicious Tumblr liberals. For as much as Tumblr loves to constantly dunk on TikTok for being Gen Z/Alpha brainrot, they sure aren't doing anything to prove that they're actually better at any of the legitimate research and thought that goes into LeftTok's political coverage. Congratulations, Tumblr liberals, you're the new boomers. And you have exactly the same violent disdain for anyone who believes differently from you to match.

Whatever the outcome of the election, I'm not any more worried than I reasonably have to be. Innocent people in marginalized groups are going to suffer tremendously no matter who wins the election, because they already face systemic oppression in this godforsaken country on a regular basis to begin with, no matter how much help they receive to improve their situation. Neither party gives a fuck about them, the Democrats just lie about caring about them, like they always have. Malcolm X was right; Republicans are wolves, and Democrats are foxes. The point is, we can't rely on anyone in this neoliberal late-stage capitalist establishment to actually do anything to improve any of the problems we face. It's been made abundantly clear over the last several years that our "representatives" don't actually represent us. We can only rely on ourselves to represent ourselves. That means putting actual pressure on the oligarchs in power, force them to meet our demands one way or another, by any and all means necessary.

As much as I've recently shat on the repulsive liberal cowardice and naivete of Charles Xavier, there is one quote of his that exhibits far greater character, nobility, and pragmatism than any of these fucking Tumblr liberals could ever hope to even think of:

"Those with the greatest power... protect those without."

That's exactly what I'm going to do. Real political action does not begin and end at the ballot, and election results, subsequently, do not automatically determine the fate of the country and the people within it. That is up to us, and only us. We, collectively, have far more power than we realize.

Donate. Volunteer. Organize. Protest. Strike. Hell, maybe even riot, if you have absolutely no other choice. But don't think for even a microsecond that viciously attacking people out of pure emotional incontinence without any further elaboration or action is going to do jack-fucking-shit.

And yes, I am addressing some of my mutuals here. Block me if you must, that's your prerogative. We all know Tumblr was never a popularity contest to begin with anyway.

[wannabe-enigmatic]

Hi typology Tumblr 😮‍💨

It has gotten to the very sad point to where I genuinely can not type myself in any typology system so I wrote a little paragraph about me I apologize as it is all over the place but I did the best I could 🫠 if anyone is willing to help type me I’ll be more than appreciative- unfortunately I can’t offer much in return, maybe a follow and like spam? But thank you for reading this fair anyway and feel free to use anything I said in this intro to type me as well

Me: Okay so when I first meet someone- I’m very shy but polite. I give compliments if I’m trying to make friends with the person I’m talking to. Normally I like to be approached first

With acquaintances I’m myself but I dial down just a tad bit. My personality also adjust to the people I’m around with acquaintances.

With close friends I can be kinda loud but I’m very friendly.

Across all three scenarios I’m very sarcastic but I remain polite depending on how close we are.

When I’m by myself I enjoy listening to music while scrolling on Pinterest or TikTok. I do have an eye for aesthetics. I occasionally write poetry. I also can daydream when I’m alone. When I’m with others I am very practical and grounded and in the moment. When I’m with myself in in my mind. I am EXTREMELY passionate and it can sometimes come off as rudeness. I am also very sensitive and don’t take well to criticism of any kind Real life scenarios I have been in relating to me being passionate to my values- I value respecting teachers not only because they want the best for the class but because it helps the class flow better and acting out is honestly annoying so when push comes to shove I will say something like “Respectfully, shut the fuck up” but I just want the class to flow slowly

Also- I highly value respecting boundaries and my ex friend did cross one of my boundaries before so I did cuss her out on her birthday and then ghosted her but like it’s not rlly even my fault fr

Also I can get to work and be extremely serious when need be but I often procrastinate. I also really like material things. I have a fear of fatal accidents and things like getting kidnapped but I’m not a skeptical person. I also have a very playful personality with my friends. I’m also learning a foreign language and enjoy it. I also get emotional sometimes. I could see a video of a new singer living paycheck to paycheck and their video only has one like and it breaks my heart. I could see an overweight dog and my heart breaks because obesity in dogs is fatal and that poor baby wasn’t even trying to get fat. In response I get enraged with the owner/ who’s responsible. Sometimes I get mad at the person who’s also the victim because you know that artistic careers barely make anything but you chose it anyway now I’m sad for you but you brought the life upon yourself Stress- under stress I get extremely nervous however I try my best to rise to the occasion

Fear- painful / undesirable death, experiencing any traumatic event, poor quality of life

Desire- to be happy , be everyone’s favorite

1) I’m focused on defending myself more than I’m focusing on defending others but I’ll say something if I see something 🤷‍♀️

2) I value my autonomy but I will not hesitate to get other options. Following their advice tho might be a little diff

Authority- I to be in those positions. Loathe rude, stuck up, money centered , greedy, selfish authoritarians

Morals- very important. Would die on a hill for my morals. I keep an open mind to everything but my values and morals and truly do believe that they are correct

Success- in the sense of e3s I think fame, riches , etc but for me success is not living paycheck to paycheck, good social group, good career

Anger- I tend to be ready to express it but u funny way to get myself in trouble so I hold back sometimes. BIG BIG BIG EMPHASIS ON SOMETIMES

Opinions on certain things - Philosophy- very overrated. It’s glamorized thought process

Politics - the vast majority of politicians running shouldn’t be

Practicality- good to have

Intellectual- also good to have

Physically- keep yourself in shape ig 🤷‍♀️

Home and school life - Home- very tense, poverty stricken, argumentative, very chaotic

School- more relaxed, pressure on self , feeling not wanted by peers and feeling like I’m annoying

Songs I relate to - groan by daisy and the scouts, ride by Lana Del Rey, watercolor eyes by Lana Del Rey

[feral-radfem]

I swear, when tras make asses out of themselves, I sometimes sit back and think

Does this person forget how to blink? To breathe? To tie their own shoes? Like, they make themselves out to be the dumbest people alive

Lol, I do actually have to put in an effort to stop myself from thinking this way though I still tend to fall into the same thought patterns.

However, I know that while I do called them stupid a lot, a lot of the times it's not genuine stupidity. It's knowing that they don't have to form an answer because their opinion is already the default "correct" opinion.

It's just laziness rather than actual stupidity.

Making themselves look dumb serves two purposes, it protects them from accountability because no one ever assumes they should have known something or known better. The second is they believe that someone arguing with someone who purposely makes themselves look dumb makes the person wasting their time arguing with them dumb as well. That comes from the assumption that when we argue with people we're trying to convince the other person to change their mind not instead giving our opinions a larger platform through interacting with them.

As someone who it's grown up intimately with two trans people right there in their home: they don't even put up the efforts to see if science supports their opinions first. Everything they know is usually based off of social media like Tumblr or tiktok. They don't actually care about this political movement because it's a attention grab and self-serving platform for themselves so they don't put in the effort of making sure the facts actually defend the premise. They just need to make sure everyone thinks it does and they do that through some rather impressive Mass propaganda and historical revisionism. So they obviously can't be too stupid.

They are much more likely to be simple conformist who don't think it's a big deal to not think about things critically. That is long as you have generally all the "right" opinions then you don't need a know why those are the "right" opinions. Poser shit tbh, and because we're not the people they're trying to impress and pose for they don't care that we think they're stupid.

[its0046rightnow]

no. 1

I have not been on tumblr in years, but returning here to write what will essentially be diary entries feels appropriately melodramatic.

Almost a year ago I got with somebody for the first time. Not just a first time "getting with" - I had never so much as kissed anyone before that (I can't remember if he knows that). At first I was so naively happy. I thought he was cool. As much as it pains me to admit it, I genuinely did like him. And I thought he liked me.

As such, we fooled around a few more times before officially going all the way. It was at that point that everything went downhill, though it should have been much sooner. The sex was bad. Even though I convinced myself in the moment that it was worth going through with (and doing once more...), it was just so bad. Objectively. I was definitely not any good for him, but honestly it was horrific for me. I have a high pain tolerance and do not cry, but I cried just a little then. I don't think he noticed, or if he did, he pretended not to. It hurt in a way that I later learned is not normal. In retrospect I've come to believe those women on tiktok that proclaim that your body tries to reject a partner that isn't good for you; mine certainly did then.

The physical pain was one thing, but you can just lay there and take that. Without exaggeration I can say that that night was the start of the lowest I have ever felt mentally (if not the lowest, certainly the lowest I have been made to feel by another person). He had been so polite in asking if every little thing was alright, and then out of nowhere (that's how it felt) there was a hand gripping my neck and then slapping me. I was in shock. I didn't say anything or try to move because it was such a shock to my system (you could say... a slap in the face... :P). When it was over he told me to go to the bathroom and I had to stay in there for ages, both to collect myself and because I thought I was bleeding out. It looked like a crime scene. I came back, he fell asleep turned away from me, and I have never felt more lonely. Tried to go at it again the next morning and had to stop because my body couldn't take it. He would never fully walk me out of his place and that always pissed me off. Went home on the bus and felt numb. Felt numb for the rest of the day until he messaged with an unfunny joke about how there were bloodstains. The numbness was gone and I wanted to throw up. A month of painfully dry messages sent once a day (and then once every 2 days, then every few), and I did it again. God knows why. I think I believed that it would be better, having gotten the first time out of the way. It wasn't.

I saw him less than 48 hours later at an event, and the first thing he said to me was that he forgot I was coming. I would shoot myself in the foot before saying that to another person. "I do not listen to what you say because you are insignificant to me, and I am going to announce that so you know you are insignificant to me." The hell.

I guess in a way he got what he wanted: he has a fetish and I checked the right boxes, apparently. I was able to figure out that he did on my own, but recently I've been told that his fetish is apparently infamous. Since my hypothesis was proved there, I feel that I can also say he watches too much (any) porn: the out-of-the-blue choking and slapping and general disregard for my wellbeing make me think that at a very essential level he sees women only as objects, and ones for his pleasure at that. I really picked a winner.

In conclusion, this experience is the biggest shame and embarrassment of my life (according to google they are two different things but both apply). I am so horrified that that man can say he's been with me. I hate that it took me a few whole months to be able to decisively say that I never want to touch that man again. I hate that I still think about it to this day. I hate that all the dates I have since went on have gone so poorly that I cannot say from personal experience that not all men are like that. And I know logically that they're not. But the experience has sort of made me asexual.

Will maybe post again on another night where I am overthinking this (lots of nights). Part of me doesn't want anyone to ever read this. Part of me is somehow hoping that he'll read this (I don't think he has tumblr) and realize why I can't respect him (I don't think he has the maturity to self-reflect like that). I have moved on obviously but would still like for it to become a very distant memory. <3

[sophiemi]

A Response to Hate + Wisdom, I Suggest Everyone Reads.

This is a pretty long post replying to some hate I got from a recent post I made about Mirajane Strauss and Laxus Dreyar, I linked it at the bottom of this if you would like to read it. I think everyone should read this post not only because its some piping hot tea, but there’s also a lot of other things I talk about in this that I feel like everyone should hear. Totally understand if you don’t want to read it though. Let me know what you think!  

First here is what they/you said (in order):

Hi I just liked to start with I blocked you from send me anymore ask, but I’m letting you know if you change devices you can still ask me things or messages, if you DM (off anon) ill take your request seriously, but since you’re on anon I’m not gonna take you seriously, sorry. Especially after you were actually mean to me when I did nothing wrong, which is why I’m making this post even though I’d normally ignore it.

Lets start with the general Miraxus stuff, that post WAS NOT hate. You have to be delusional and overly obsessed to believe that was a hate post, or that I was spreading “false information.” In the post I literally said they had good development and linked a master list of ALL their interactions. The entire post was about how even though I don’t ACTIVELY ship them (meaning they are cute and I agree they would be a good couple, but I just don’t get that feeling where I’m like “oh okay yes them” and I feel the need to stalk them, ((not everyone hates what threatens their ships)), and I’m not denying they are very cute, and have a lot of cute art and moments, it just doesn’t hype me up the same way other ships do.) So, this post was pro-miraxus, I’m literally saying they honestly deserved to become canon/canon-ish like a lot of the other ships did, so it was not “cross tagged” the post was about mira and laxus and thats what I tagged it, if you are talking about the part where i tagged “#I feel sorry for anyone who ships miraxus” that is literally me validating anyone hurt over the ending.  Again, I’m not following the Miraxus tag or any account solely dedicated to that ship so I didn’t even know he drew a kid or them, that’s super cool, good for you. I wasn’t being “biased” because I’m not neck deep in any ship for Laxus or Mira, yes i think CanaJane is cute but I know its very unrealistic, this is why I was able to form this opinion that they deserved better. The post was about how Mashima baited Miraxus the entire series, then said “Never!!!!” even if it was Lucy’s inner thoughts, Mashima knew what he was doing. I was saying, “wow that probably sucked if you really liked them! I’m sorry!” If you believe my post was to degrade Mira x Laxus and hype Cana x Mira, then you need to take a step back and re-evaluate yourself, I understand you are probably like 13-14 but that’s still not okay to attack people because they don’t agree with you, and if you are older that 13 or 14 that’s just embarrassing. I also believe that Freed x Laxus deserved a better ending and I also don’t actively ship that either, Freed spent the whole series wanting to protect and be by the side of Laxus and they had no interaction in the finale.

 Next, lets go to the part about you saying I’m a “slash fetishizer shipper” (also i literally had to look up what this meant) I can only assume you canajane because i said they “hit different” right? Let me just re insert what you said to make sure I reply correctly

Yes I think Cana and Mira are very attractive, and I think they are hot together too. Hi i’m into girls. I am the woke points. I agree people make lgbt people into a fetish and don’t actually respect them, but that’s mostly males thinking lesbians are hot while being gross out by gay men, I may be naive but you don’t often see that on anime tumblr where half the people are gay anyway, not to mention most are female. This next part may be controversial I’m not sure, but people don’t need a reason to ship characters and no one can tell them who they can and can’t ship (this does not apply to shipping a child with an adult), so you can’t say only gay people can ship to people of the same gender, sorry that’s not how it works, i understand you’re trying to get those “woke points” but you just look like a fool. But then next you said this:

Actual author content? Oh you mean like the post I linked that showed EVERY SINGLE interaction/moment/hints that Miraxus had? Like I said, they had good development, and my post was about how the AUTHOR should’ve given them a better ending. I’d just like to add there are many moments that the AUTHOR wrote between Cana and Mira that made me ship them, if the AUTHOR never wrote anything to where they interacted, I wouldn’t ship them?  This post is not about that though so I’m not gonna go anymore into them. 

“false information” girl what? where? I’m genuinely curious, I used screenshots of the manga to present to idea that Miraxus deserved better and that’s all I talked about so I’m confused what you been by this:

So I can tell you took the one line where i said I like CanaJane more than Miraxus and in your mind twisted my entire PRO-miraxus argument into and anti post, this kind of behavior is toxic, and “its not a good look sir” 

Let also clarify something, cross tagging is posting about something and tagging things completely unrelated, this post was about mira and laxus and thats what it was tagged about. Cross tagging is often used in shipping wars, but my post was pro-miraxus so it makes no sense for you to repeatedly say I was cross tagging and that’s why you were mad, it’s very clear you were just mad because I said I shipped CanaJane and that clouded your judgement when reading everything else. If you wanna see real cross tagging look up any naruto ship and scroll for about 3 seconds. So, no I won’t be removing the tags because that makes no sense, but if it’s important enough for you to message me off anon then we’ll talk.

My final section of this response is how hypocritical you were. Like with he part, “I don’t hate you” To quote tiktok and nicki minaj, “don’t be tryna double back, I already despise you” 

As you can see you repeatedly said I was mean, but no where in my post did I say anything like “Mira x Laxus is gross, its toxic, its dumb, its...idk...forced!”, i literally never said anything like that because like I’ve said in this post and in that one, they’re cute and they had good development. You were the mean one in your response telling me i had “no reading skills whatsoever”, that i had a “lack of respect”,  said I’m “more than pitiful” and this isn’t mentioning all of your back handed pettiness throughout every single message you sent, you think you “look cool” but “hun”...”sweetie”...you just look dumb, but at least you are on anon!

Educate myself? girl this isn’t politics, you’re pressed over a post saying your ship deserved better than it got??? What am I supposed to do watch the anime, read the manga, well good thing I did. GUESS WHAT THEY HAD GOOD DEVELOPMENT i can see why you ship them. 

The only rude person here is you, you came into my asks and attacked me because you were blinded for reasons I can’t figure out, and you hid behind the anonymous setting which clearly means you don’t care that much about Miraxus, you just wanted to be mean. 

If you’re reading this, and you sent me the messages, message me off anonymous, then we can realistically talk about me taking off my so called cross tagging, I really don’t care that much, I’m just baffled you had to audacity to come for me so hard then “nicely” ask me to remove the tags. 

If you’re reading this and you didn’t send me these messages, thanks for reading, maybe share this so people understand that this behavior is not okay. I know what I got was mostly just petty ranting, but there are people who send way worse to others and its just not okay. Just because these aren’t are real accounts like these are fandom accounts doesn’t make it okay. Thanks! 

Here is the post in reference:

https://emillyjacksonn.tumblr.com/post/617804123843280896/miraxus-shippers-really-got-played

[piilokarsastus]

End of the year ask game - 2019

1. Favorite book you discovered this year? Not sure if I’ve started any new books this year

2. Favorite movie that was released this year? It seems I also didn’t go to the movies this year apart from one time but the movie wasn’t that good

3. Favorite TV show you discovered this year? Fargo

4. Favorite artist you discovered this year? I don’t really do “artists”

5. Favorite music album that was released this year? The kind of music I listen to doesn’t come in albums but Veli Kujala’s Violin Concerto “Auseil” has got to be one of the greatest modern pieces of music I’ve heard.

6. If you are using a music streaming platform that provides you with stats about this year, post them! I’m not

7. Favorite memory of this year? Maybe the time I went biking with a good friend in July

8. Favorite song this year? It’s so hard to pick favourites, but Grieg’s Jeg elsker dig always has a special place in my heart

9. Post a selfie from January of this year and one from today. I literally haven’t changed at all so no

10. Favorite travel destination of this year? I didn’t really travel much but our short excursion to Lappeenranta was fun

11. Did you make new friends this year? How? Yeah, I’ve made a lot of new friends in university, and also one of the students I hung out with during my work period at OUAS in 2018-2019 has since become a close friend. I got many other friends of varying levels there but she’s the only one I still see and talk to regularly.

12. Did you lose a friend? Why? Well not really, but kind of. We’re still officially friends and we recently even texted each other for the first time in months but I just can’t bring myself to connect with her more since I have this feeling that she isn’t really interested in seeing me because I had a crush on her a year ago. The fact that she never texts first doesn’t help either.

13. Any deaths in your social environment this year? My grandpa passed away in September at 83

14. Any newborns in your social environment this year? no, although my cousin and his wife have a baby under way

15. Favorite concert you´ve been to this year? This one concert of new music in Oulu, in October

16. Favorite festival (music or other) you attended this year? Uuden musiikin lokakuu (see previous question)

17. Did you quit a job/an education this year? I didn’t exactly quit, my work period just ended as scheduled

18. Did you start a new job/education this year? Yeah, I started university

19. Did your relationship status change during the year? If it stayed the same, did your perception of this status change? nope, still single

20. Any new piercings this year? no

21. Any new tattoos this year? no

22. Any other body modifications this year? no

23. Favorite clothing item of this year? I just got a really cute shirt for Christmas, so I’m choosing that even though it’s only been in my life for a few days :D

24. Favorite person this year? that would be a certain HK. Funnily enough those initials can refer to two people, both of whom played an important part in my life at different parts of the year: one in December-February and the other especially from May onwards. 

25. Favorite place to be this year? (can be a city or just a place like a library, home, a certain forest and so on…) Ever since I moved out, my old home (at my mum’s) has been my favourite place since I come there on holidays to do nothing except relax and enjoy life.

26. Any dreams you fulfilled this year? Started studying in the university I wanted to study in and now I finally have a genuine friend squad who actually do fun stuff together outside of school and we just have a really great group spirit. It’s something I’ve always wanted to have but never had. I’ve mostly just had singular close friends and all the friend groups I’ve been in before rarely did anything outside of school or just weren’t very close friends to begin with. I did have a small group completely separate from school in 2014-2016 but we hung out quite rarely and have since lost touch completely even though I really enjoyed my time with them.

27. Which was your happiest month? Why? I can’t decide on one favourite but the happiest times for me were January (when I had recently met someone special and was heavily crushing on her and life seemed great for a while), July (when I spent a lot of time with an aforementioned friend) and then October (or any month in autumn because I’ve had a great time in uni)

28. Which was this years worst month? Why? On Feb 27 the preceding period of happiness ended and my dreams were crushed, and that sadness was present for the entirety of March and for some time after that as well.

29. Anything you started this year? (sports, drawing, tarot…) university, as I’ve already mentioned more than once.

30. Did you move this year? If not, did you change anything about your place of residence? Yes

31. Did you change anything about your look or your style during this year? Not exactly, but I can feel that change is in progress in a way I can’t yet describe. And last winter (starting already in late 2018) I did start preferring sweaters to button-ups

32. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the best: how would you rate this year? a solid 8,5

33. Any political scandal in your country this year? yeah our government fell after barely six months in office, but as a result we got an even better one with the worlds youngest (and female!) prime minister. 

34. Any global event that happened this year that had a strong impact on you or your way of thinking? I can’t remember whether it was this year or the year before but the IPCC reports have certainly made me more aware of how doomed capitalism is

35. Anything you did for the first time this year? (Bungee jumping, drinking alcohol, traveling by plane ….) nothing I can think of

36. Any big mistake you made this year? yyyeah about that Feb 27th thing... I confessed my feelings to someone I was really really interested in but nothing good ever came out of that decision and my self-esteem hasn’t been the same since

37. Favorite Youtuber this year? muyskerm probably

38. Favorite music artist this year? didn’t we go over this already?

39. Favorite hobby this year? making music, same as always

40. Relfect on the year: what are the strongest memories? In the first half of the year, I had a great time at OUAS and there were many memorable moments in that job. My favourites were maybe when I was teaching aural skills classes and when I worked as an accompanist for the opera ensemble class. In May, a large-scale piece of mine was finally performed after I worked on it for the entirety of 2018, which was a big milestone for me as a composer. And finally, in August, we had a super fun orientation day at uni and it was the first time I spent some true quality time with my new squad, sitting in a dark corner talking about music :D

41. Which goals that you had for this year did you reach? Come to think of it, I’m not really a goal-setter.

42. Which goals that you had for this year did you not reach? it would’ve been nice to get into a relationship or even just have sex at least once

43. Any injuries or major diseases you had this year? no

44. Did you have to go to the hospital this year? yeah, but just for a root canal treatment

45. How much/how often did you travel this year? not very often, mostly just between Oulu and Helsinki

46. Did you spend most of your time alone or with others? If with others, who was/were this persons(s)? Well I lived at home until August so my parents, I guess

47. Any new blogs you made on tumblr? yeah, just a private place for a new kind of aesthetic

48. Any blogs you deleted on tumblr? no

49. Any social media that you started with that year? Well I finally got into tiktok but I don’t make content there

50. Favorite food this year? pizza, as always

51. Favorite sweets this year? chocolate, as always

52. Favorite drink/beverage this year? water, as always

53. Any celebrity you really looked up to this year? nah

54. Tell us a quote that inspired you during this year. I’m not a quote person

55. Any new device you bought this year? no

56. If you are wearing makeup: Did your makeup style change during this year? makeup isn’t part of my current style

57. Are you looking forward to next year? I kind of am actually, not really for anything specific but I just have a good feeling about things

58. What are your goals for next year? to learn a lot of new things, discover a lot of good art and basically just continue rebuilding my identity and self-esteem and make myself into the best person I can be. And yeah that girlfriend would be nice too :(

59. What would your biggest dream for next year be? To have a private lesson with my favourite musicologist who will be a visiting professor at my university next year

60. What do you hope will change on this world withing the next year? can we like finally eat the rich, please?

61. Any changes within your own life you have planned for next year? I’ve considered starting working out again since I haven’t done much since school started

62. What are your fears about the next year? that school’s going to be even more stressful since I have more classes

63. How and with whom are you going to spend new years eve? alone and with my mum, currently am

64. Any song that is connected for you to new years eve? no

65. Any new years eve traditions you practise? no

66. Any travels planned for next year? no

67. What do you want to focus on more during the next year? I’d like to make more art but we’ll see how much time I have

68. Any release you are looking forward to next year? a number of tv shows are set to release a new season

69. Any behaviour you want to get rid of during next year? I wish I could stop dwelling on the past

70. Do you think this year changed you? Why? Definitely, I can’t really put it to words but I’m on my way to feeling a lot happier being who I am

71. Do you think next year will change you? Why? hopefully for the better

72. Any changes planned for next year already? (moving, job change etc.) no

73. What major changes happened for you during this decade? In the beginning of 2010 I was year 4 in primary school and now I’m first year in university, so there were a lot :D Biggest ones were maybe starting puberty and my parents splitting up in 2013, starting to compose music seriously in 2014, getting my first girlfriend in 2015 and my second, longest-to-date relationship in 2017, as well as said relationship ending in 2018. And yeah, in 2019 I moved away from home.

74. Post a picture of you from 2009 and one from 2019. lol not going to happen

75. New people that came in this decade into your life? pretty much all of my friends except for like 3

76. People you lost during this decade? Grandpa I lost literally although we weren’t that close, and there are several friends who are still friends but who I’ve lost in a way since we just don’t stay in touch anymore and we just aren’t as close as we used to.

77. Dreams you fulfilled during this decade? When I downloaded musescore in late 2013 and typed in my first, cringey attempts at composition, I could only dream of being able to write music like Mozart. And here I am now, pursuing a career as a composer. 

78. Favorite music artist of the decade? I still don’t do artists

79. Favorite movie of the decade? there are so many

80. Favorite TV series of the decade? you could just ask me my favourite tv series altogether, it’s equally impossible to decide 

81. Favorite book of the decade? Does this mean books published in or books I just read this decade? I’m picking the latter: while they’re perhaps not the best books of all time (although still really good), nothing has impacted my adolescent years more than the Harry Potter series.

82. Favorite music album of the decade? I’m just going to say Mozart, okay?

83. Favorite celebrity of the decade? The idolisation of celebrities is a phenomenon I don’t really endorse but the Justimusfilms guys are a precious bunch of idiots I’m always happy to see whatever they do

84. Favorite author of the decade? I haven’t read nearly enough and diversely to consider this a valid assessment but of the few authors I have read, Herman Koch seems like a really interesting one

85. Celebrities you admired that died this decade? Christopher Lee, Einojuhani Rautavaara, Nikolaus Harnoncourt, Alan Rickman

86. Favorite actor/actress of the decade? I find it hard to name a favourite, I don’t really enjoy a particular actor but rather the roles they play if they’re written well and played convincingly

87. Favorite travel desitnation of the decade? Italy (2011) and St. Petersburg (2017)

88. Any changes in believe this decade? no

89. Did your main occupation (student, working fulltime etc.) change during this decade? it did for one year but now I’m a student again

90. Favorite memory of this decade? I’m happy my life has been meaningful enough that this question is entirely impossible to answer. Besides, there are two very distinct periods in this decade, late childhood and teenage years, which are hard to compare

91. Hobbies you gave up upon during this decade? violin and badminton

92. Hobbies you started during this decade? piano, writing, composing... and violin and badminton

93. What new did you learn during this decade? (Languages, arts, crafts…) basically anything I’ve ever learned after 4th grade, including, but not limited to, the Swedish language, music theory and composition, and how to boil potatoes 

94. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, how would you rate this decade? Since I’ve only lived through two, I don’t really have much to compare it with but I’d say 9. Overall I’ve had a really nice and happy youth but there are things I wish went differently especially in middle school.

95. Favorite quote during this decade? “yolo swag” -Albert Einstein

96. Which body modifications did you get during this decade? none

97. New dreams you gained during this decade? all of them

98. Dreams you gave upon during this decade? I once thought of becoming an author but music took me in the end

99. Worst year of this decade? Why? 2012. the end of sixth grade was pretty okay but seventh grade sucked tbh + atmosphere at home wasn’t the best. Meanwhile I was still a kid so everything was hard and I didn’t control anything that happened in my life. I did start writing that year, which was nice.

100. Best year of this decade? Why? I’ve thought about this a lot. I remember 2010-2011 being nice with many lovely memories of playing with my best friend of the time. Many of those adventures are the basis of my eternal WIP novel and I have a special nostalgia for those years but they were so long ago and I was so young that I can’t really tell them apart as distinct years and I still think I can’t compare them with the other years since I’m a very different person now.

2012 sucked ass as I’ve already discussed. 2013 wasn’t as bad but not great either. Some of the shit from the previous year carried over, along with my parents separating, but on the other hand, I had my first date ever with my crush (even though she rejected me) and it was the beginning of my teenage years with many nice moments.

2014 is a strong contender: I met some new friends at confirmation camp, started gradually enjoying middle school and started hanging out with the girl I would eventually start dating. There’s not much bad to say about 2014 but overall nothing very big happened.

2015 was both the end of 9th grade (where I had a lot of fun at school since our group spirit was amazing) and the beginning of high school. I was doing well in life, got new friends and I also got into my first-ever relationship and that, along with the events leading to that, was a time of great happiness for me. Although our breakup in November kind of ruined the end of the year for me, 2015 has got to be one of the best years of the decade.

For some reason, my mental image of 2016 isn’t very distinct. I spent the better half of the year feeling a bit depressed because of the breakup, but there were happy times especially from May onward when I started growing closer with a good friend. That summer we texted literally every day, we basically just became best friends and I also eventually fell in love with her. From August to the end of the year I have nothing but good memories and I’m very nostalgic for that time.

Which leads us to 2017. I went to prom with my crush (which itself was really fun) and we started dating in March. I was so so happy, especially in the summer. I also had some early break-throughs as a composer and made some of the best pieces I’ve conceived to date. School was fun too, and generally I just enjoyed high school a lot.

2018 is a year I’m very divided about. I was still in a relationship and had some of the happiest times with that person in April-June. Then again, we had some communication issues and I had a recurring paranoia that she just doesn’t want to be with me anymore, which was a constant source of anxiety in January-March and July. The breakup did come in August and of course for the rest of the year it weighed me down quite a bit. However, generally speaking I was somewhat more fine than with my first breakup since I had new exciting things going on in my life such as my work at OUAS which helped keep my thoughts away from the loneliness and also introduced new friends into my life. And in December, I had what was probably the best date of my life with a new, interesting person, which ended 2018 on a positive remark.

2019 was a year of change, even more so than the previous one. A lot of things changed for the positive, although there is also a certain sadness to leaving old things behind. I was happy at work and now I’m happy at school, but I’ve also felt lonely and unattractive, especially after getting rejected in February by someone I had such high hopes for. Suddenly I was back to the preceding sadness and my self-esteem dropped drastically while I was left wondering why I wasn’t enough. Still, I’ve had so much fun with friends and so much personal and professional growth that 2019 is still up there in the top 5.

As you’ve probably noticed already, I suck at picking favourites. Every year had its moments, some of them more than the others. Overall, I’ve been very happy especially in 2014-2019, but of all those years, 2017 was maybe the coolest and had some of the best memes as well.