#throwing this here from my twitter because I feel like tumblr would appreciate this lol

[kleptoyade]

Hey casual Sora cosplayers from YouTube in the mid 2000s, it took almost 20 years but your Hot Topic pants are actually canon now

[rollercoasterwords]

i am once again asking people not to share my writing if u aren't going to credit me!

this is gonna be a bit of a rant i think. sorry but also i'm just fed up at this point lol

i've already. mentioned this or talked about it a few times on my blog but like. here's the ~official post~ i guess because over the past year i have lost count of the amount of times i have come across a post--usually on twitter or tiktok--that is quite literally just a direct quote from one of my stories copied and pasted without a single reference to where it came from or who wrote it.

so like, quick reminder:

this is not a quote.

"adding quotation marks to it does not make a quote."

"a quote is only a quote if you QUOTE THE PERSON WHO IT CAME FROM." - rae, @rollercoasterwords tumblr blog

does that make sense???? PLEASE tell me that makes sense. to make it even clearer:

if you are going to quote my writing in a tweet, please include AT LEAST my ao3 username (rollercoasterwords) and also, ideally, the fic title that you are quoting from. if you want to throw a link to whatever ur quoting from, great! but like. at the very least, all i am asking is that you add "quote" - @rollercoasterwords on ao3

if you are going to quote my writing in a tiktok, please include AT LEAST my ao3 username either clearly in the video itself or clearly at the very beginning of the caption, where anyone looking at the video will be able to see it immediately. please don't just put credit in a tag at the very end of a long caption where it isn't clear which tag is the fic title the quote is coming from; please don't just put it in a comment that not everyone will open and find; please don't just put it in a response to someone else's comment asking you what fic the quote is from. and please don't put no credit at all--i've seen tiktoks of my own writing without even quotation marks to let people know that it's a quote! like...at that point you're just plagiarizing my writing for...what? tiktok views? like. ok.

other writers might feel differently about how you credit them when quoting them, but for me--this is what i'm asking. just. at the very least, clearly include my ao3 username, so that people know who wrote the thing that you're sharing.

and like. i think there's this idea that you're doing me a favor by sharing my writing, in any capacity, on the internet. and at the risk of sounding harsh, i want to be very clear: that isn't true. if you are sharing my writing without any indication that it is even mine, then you are not doing me a favor. you are taking something that i worked very hard on and using it to get a few likes for yourself. i know that it's fanfiction, and i know that once i post something on the internet it is, to a certain extent, outside of my control. but like...this isn't something i'm profiting off of. it's not something i'm trying to get the most views possible on. the only reason i'm sharing it on ao3 is so that people who appreciate it can find it, and so that i can connect with those people who take the time out of their day to leave a comment or send a message saying "hey, i loved this, thanks for sharing it!" i would rather have only 5 people see my writing and like it and genuinely connect with me over it than have 5000 people see my writing and like it and never have a single one of them know who actually wrote it.

anyway. i'm not trying to sound ungrateful, y'know? i do truly, sincerely appreciate that there are people out there who have been moved enough by my writing to want to share it with others. but this isn't a numbers thing for me, ok? the amount of people looking at a thing i wrote is not what makes writing worth it to me, and i would truly, genuinely, just rather not have a single person share my writing on twitter or tiktok than have like. fifty people share it without crediting me.

[blimpixels]

I agree with you when it comes to the points and angles you brought up about piracy. I am sorry if I came across as somehow antagonizing, that really wasn't my intention. I also have a very specific way of typing in order to try and come across as clear to avoid misunderstandings which includes messages sometimes being long-winded, but I'm sorry if I came across as rude instead. I would like to mention to you and others who thought I was disagreeing with you on what you meant, that you had simply written "This might be a hot take but I think there’s too much piracy", which is a very broad statement. It didn't really dawn on me that you specifically had that angle in mind when I responded and assumed you meant piracy as a whole. You're right that it's just a little tweet and I didn't mean to make it seem like it was a bigger statement than it actually was, I just happened to read what I read and tried to add to the topic. Me doing so on anon has more to do with me being very shy and not really having public accounts. I'm sorry if this seemed intimidating as well. As a final little thing to end this on which isn't related to the topic necessarily, I hope some of your followers who didn't know this was a misunderstanding either will refrain from throwing words like "delusional" around to negatively describe someone being rude. I never meant harm though I realise my tone came across as rude (which again, I'm sorry about that). I don't know what prompted them to use ableist language, if it mightve been the ask you received after you had answered mine that aggravated that. To clarify that wasn't sent by me, I only saw your response just now. I didn't mean to bother you or imply anything about you, and I'm sincerely sorry.

sorry this is so late but I appreciate this. And you’re good dw. You’re on the right side of history in the end. It was just a crazy ask to wake up to lol. I apologize if I stressed you out or made you feel bad. It was pretty obvious that the second ask wasn’t you but receiving that was pretty annoying.

I think this is a very nuanced topic and I wish I both understood more about it and what we could do to fix it besides continuing to support things like the internet archive and also small-time creators financially. But it’s why I’ll always prefer tumblr over twitter for actual discussion (since posts can be longer than 240 characters here and there are no blue checks to derail shit) Because it's very important! companies are repeatedly screwing us over and sometimes it feels like no matter how much we protest their money talks louder. it super sucks.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

  °˖✧◝(￣▿￣)◜✧˖°

[resslawx]

So, i wrote this for my Instagram page since it’s where it all started. But since I posted my edits here as well, I felt like sharing it here too.

Blacklist has been a part of my life ever since it aired 8 years ago. Back then, I was a child and I grew up with it by my side.

I’ve always been invested in this show, especially the last 4 years were really intensive. This show, most of all the relationship between Liz and Red + the Keenler bond became a big part of my life - in every meaning. And everyone who knows me personally, or is simply an active follower of my page, knows how dedicated I’ve been for the shipping I’ve grown to love so much.

To see how the show lost its path over the years was sad, of course, but for me it was bearable. It was still okay, even tho it wasn’t the blacklist I fell in love with anymore. But to see it completely destroyed in like 2 minutes, to see 8 YEARS completely destroyed in the blink of an eye? I didn’t see that coming. I didn’t want to see it coming.

When we knew Megan would leave the show after s8, I was already crushed (I won’t talk more about my opinion of how things went with her/the network/the producers/writers because I’m tired of that. We all have our own views. I’m simply talking about the show and its storyline here because that’s what my page is about) but I still hoped they’d give her character a… 'decent' ending?

As a keenler, I sure hoped for her to simply disappear, to leave a door open for their deserved happy ending. But most of all I hoped that the character of Elizabeth Keen would get the answers she deserved, the answers this whole damn show was built on finding!

I’ve read many things awesome people wrote, things I can fully relate to. I share your anger, pain, frustration and questions.

Reddington and Liz were the core of the show and to me, everyone who disagrees (or says that red was the only important main character) simply didn’t understand the show and its concept. Save your time and don’t try to argue with me about that.

Their relationship has been the show’s heart.

Liz’ questions and her try to find the answers to them.

And in the end, she died without them.

If you’re saying, she got the answer who red is by realizing he’s her mother - it wasn’t really confirmed. Besides, even if this should be the solution, then Reddington didn’t even bother to TELL her while she was DYING.

But oh, don’t get me started on how I started to dislike Reddington more and more this whole season because in my eyes he became selfish, his actions not about “keeping Liz safe” anymore - honestly, the Liz and red bond was thrown into the 🗑 for a long time already and even tho I hoped it would become better again, I had set my piece that it wouldn’t happen. I guess that’s another reason why keenler started to be my only reason for watching.

I’ve never been a fan of the rederina thingy theory but tbh at this point I don’t even care about it anymore. As many of you already said: What’s the point of us learning his real identity (if we ever would lol) if Liz isn’t there to learn about it anymore? Yeah, none. She was the one who should’ve gotten those answers, it’s not important anymore.

Liz may have annoyed me at times, made me angry or disappointed. But I still loved her and not just as "a character to throw into a ship I want to exist" as I heard some people say. She didn’t deserve this ending, nobody did.

[and if I see one more person blaming ressler for her death — for gods sake.]

Back to the heart of my page: keenler.

Who truly knows me knows that I had no problem with people who didn’t ship them because it didn’t stop me from doing so.

I like to say that it has been my once in a lifetime ship. I strongly believe that people like us, who find comfort in fictional characters of books, movies, shows, games and so on have that one special show / character / ship / relationship or whatever which keeps them sane like no other. That’s what keenler has been for me, no matter what might come in the future. I’ll never be as invested as I was with them.

The last few years had some p r e t t y rough times but I always found comfort with them. Over the time I published my edits here, many of you told me they could see how much heart I put into them (what made me really happy btw). And yes, I did. Because they made me feel like nothing else ever did and comforted me in times where nothing and nobody was able to do so.

Y’all know donald ressler will always be my favorite character of this show (✌🏻) but i grew to love this ship which had such a big influence on his character just as much. The way they ended them is more than hard for me. And with them, everyone lost.

Reds whole dedication to keep Liz safe failed.

Well, Liz lost.. everything.

Ressler lost the woman he loves for the second time. At this point I believe the writers simply never wanted him to have a happy ending.

The task force doesn’t exist as one anymore, their relationships are torn apart.

I don’t want to go into more detail, I just wanted to post something because people kept asking me about some things here.

Will I keep editing? Honestly I don’t know.

This page was dedicated to something that’s now dead. Yes, I want to do at least one last edit for them. They deserve it, I need it. But I’m not able to do so at the moment.

For now, I’m mourning. Mourning the death of a fictional character, mourning the death of the ship that was a part of myself, mourning a show that once brought me so much joy and is now destroyed.

I’m honest here, I’m not doing well but I’m trying. It’ll get better, at some point it will. But I know i need time. What feels like the loss of 8 years isn’t grieved in 4 days.

I’m still around, feel free to talk to me whenever you want (Instagram, Twitter, tumblr, wherever).

To those close to me, my friends, no matter in “real life” or those I met in this fandom: thank you. Thank you for being here, helping me through something (some of) you might not even understand. You know who you are and you are appreciated.

Let’s mourn together ? It’s all we can do.

Also: a big thank you to everyone who has always been such a supporter of the work I’ve done here ❤️ for me, posting your edits, is like posting a part of yourself and I’m truly grateful that you accepted it - and that it brought you so much joy!

[just-calamity]

check-in-tag

Thank you @inapolaroidpicture , i’m glad i’m your mootsie, love

1. why did you choose your url?

Honestly, i ask myself that all the time, that’s mix of „just”(??? wtf Wiktoria what was in your mind then????) and „calamity” – Zayn’s song, which is absolutely amazing masterpiece and i love it with my whole heart.

2. did you have any side-blogs? if you do, name them and why you have them.

I have, but if it’s alright i wouldn’t mention it. It’s one, from the time i had ED, and i just don’t know how to delete it (or maybe i don’t want to) so i abandoned it.

3. how long have you been on Tumblr?

So long… like a few years, but know how to use it like a few months lol

4. do you have a queue tag?

I’m not sure what is this, even if i read something about it on internet, but i think i haven’t. But could someone write me somewhere exactly what are those?🙏🏻

5. why did you start your blog on first place?

Because sometimes i had something like „come on! everyone see it, why no one write about it?!” And when i wrote on Twitter, they just, i don’t know… don’t like it? don’t appreciate it? or don’t seen it?

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Last time i just changing my blog look(?) and i fell for that photo, like literally, i have it saved in milion copies in my gallery…

7. why did you choose your header?

If i would have showing my header you would see purple-and-blue-rock-guitar-Louis, cause i love purple and blue, i love rock, i fuckin love Louis, and i’m not even started with rock-guitar-Louis…

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

Actually, it’s that 70’s-disco-Louis edit, which i do for otb project, and don’t ever thought that people could like shit like that (but secretly i like it too)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I wouldn’t mention them here, but it’s like… 10? Yeah, i count you guys, hah, and with my new mootsie who made me do it it’s 11 :)

10. how many followers do you have?

26. Nothing more, nothing less, and i never believed more in reblog supremacy, then here, bc of my moots, who rebloged my posts they had that many notes, love you my bees!

11. how many people do you follow?

Oh god… i don’t know, it’s like a… whole Tumblr? I follow every sweetheart who follow me, i follow every larry or 1D or rock/indie/retro/heavy metal music user, which posts i like, i follow litteraly every fuckin person, who give me that good vibe, i even follow anime blogs, and i don’t like anime, so you need to trust me if you read it, bc i probably follow you, love.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Yeah, but ppl doesn’t catch my humour🤷🏼‍♀️

13. how often do you use Tumblr each day?

Like a… milion times?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Nah, i’m just watching💅

15. how do you feel about „you need to reblog this” posts?

I totally agree with a @inapolaroidpicture , if ppl want to reblog, if post is good, they do it anyway. The only thing that change with me when i see post like that is that i always read them, no matter how long it is.

16. do you like tag games?

Oh god, i love it! But unfortunately i always can’t find them.

17. do you like ask games?

Who don’t like them? I never done any (that’s my first time tbh🤭) but i love to read them

18. which one of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

Like… every single one? Every. Fuckin. Single. One. I feel like a peasant, when i throw some shit into my dash and notifications just beep-ed from messages like „omg” „beautiful” „love it” or „xxx rebloged” „yyy liked”. That moment i’m like „guys, don’t waste your life on me, go to another 5,790421 talented moots. But then i’m like „you would just killed yourself if they did that, why’d you say it?!?”

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

I don’t think so. I mean, i could, cause you’re all amazing and i love you all so fuckin much, but i think i need to got to know you better first.

20. tags?

I think i just tag my few mutuals, if i missed someone, i’m sorry! Just hope you have a nice day, and won’t do it if you don’t want to❤️

@filthyrichdreamboat @twoghostsonehallway @thetriangletattoo @stormy-poet @hes91s @feellikehome28 @herefortommo @thehornoftheunicorn @cockytommo @fearlessmind28

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Hello, I read your post from yesterday with interest . I’ve contacted a number of cc shippers and have always been polite and always limit myself to one basic question when I do ask, so I don’t think I could possible cause offence.

My question always is: why do you believe it so much? Or is it because you want to believe it. You were a teenager when the show aired - do you not understand more now about the dynamics involved?

This fandom is obsessed with shipping, is your fascination with the actors being together not similar to people’s fascination with pezberry or Kurtbastian?

You say they must have dated during the show. Darren has always said he is straight. In questioning this, are you not questioning his integrity and honesty? He has numerous gay friends, do you not think they would call him out for maintaining he’s straight? Or that there is no reason why he needs to lie? He has a wife , who seems to be trashed daily by certain cc shippers - is that not just a horrible thing to do?

I have seen every scene, every kiss, every look, every movement over analysed to try and prove something was going on. Likewise, every event they attended , and still even on zoom meet ups, people try to read into what each of them says to try and say they’re together. It’s all a bit silly. They had great onscreen chemistry definitely seasons 2-4, but Darren did with Chord too for example, and Chris with Adam Lambert, but it doesn’t mean these were offscreen relationships.

Sorry this is a bit long, but I’d be grateful for your views.

*sigh*

Aight I’m gonna be real with you. As I recently saw someone say: you can be right and still be annoying. Similarly, you can be polite and still carry a hugely condescending and high and mighty tone.

Also, i know the topic is a bit (for some fucking reason) taboo, but if you really thought you were being polite, I doubt you’d hide behind an anon button and message me directly instead.

first of all, I would like to point out that this isn’t “one simple question” as you claim it is lmao, it’s actually kind of several. but I’m happy to answer your questions if itll make you a more tolerant person :)

I never said I believed in it with absolute faith, so I would appreciate you not putting words in my mouth. I did say I think they might have dated during filming, and this varies from person to person for sure! There were definitely days where I was like “lmao, I’m a lunatic, there’s no way this can be true.” Truly everything is just on things that felt off or hunches I’ve had. I don’t KNOW anything for sure, although some people may be more certain than me, and they are entitled to do so! It’s literally just a hunch, just an opinion, but I’m allowed it and so is everyone else

Yeah, I was a teenager when this aired, and I feel like you’re a teenager now?? (I may be wrong, but I feel like I’ve seen you around on Twitter because I’ve seen threads like this that give you clout for asking “sincere” questions for cc shippers come from the same person/group) And I’m not sure what you meant by “do you not understand more now about the dynamics involved?” which dynamics? Involved in what? Be specific. Show your work.

I would say my interested in cc is different than kurtbastian or pezberry because both of those ships are based on fictional characters so I really don’t understand what the comparison is there? but if you meant that it’s not “canon” then ummm idek where to start there. The real world and fictional worlds work differently! Just thought to throw that out there :)

Again, i never said they MUST have dated. I said I think they dated. Pleeeeeaaase stop putting words in my mouth, I would SUPER appreciate it! I don’t think I’m questioning Darren’s integrity or honesty at all in my belief that he may have possibly had a relationship with a man!

I’m gay. I’ve told people I’m straight because either I’m 1) not ready to come out to family 2) afraid of losing my job or 3) none of your damn business! My numerous gay friends don’t call me out for “maintaining I’m straight” because it’s not their place to push me out of the closet. If anything, they understand my situation more than anyone else law possibly could. Also, this is just me personally, but I highkey think the implication that those staying in the closet (for whatever reasons) are being dishonest is super gross and disrespectful. Closeted people exist, and while I’m not saying that’s definitively the case here, I would take it into consideration before saying something like that

As for mia, people are allowed to have opinions about her. Just as certain people don’t like Heather or Darren or literally any other public figures, they are allowed to dislike her. And I think if they aren’t sending her hate tweets... why the fuck would she care? she’s not crying over it every day like “oh no a group of maybe twenty people on tumblr with anonymous pseudonyms hate me woe is me” nah she has a life to get on with. And if it upsets you so much I would recommend blocking them or unfollowing them.

That last part wasn’t a question, so I’m not sure if you wanted me to respond? It was kind of just you stating your view, which, cool, but you did say you had “one simple question” for me lol but thanks for sharing!

If you’re wondering why I answered with the tone I did, I would reread your ask and reevaluate yours. You might think you were being polite, but honest to god it felt like a poor attempt at a “gotcha!” ask. Your wording, your condescending tone, saying things like “do you not understand so and so? do you believe it because you WANT to? Is that not just a horrible thing to do?” REALLY came off as patronizing so. Just an FYI. But you might have known that.

Send whatever asks you want, but if you’re gonna be a dick, don’t hide behind the farce of diplomacy and objectivity

[jmkitsune]

1-50 of the "be nosy asks" 😂

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

Im a demisexual

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

well I jsut finished stargate atlantis so let's go with that cause I did SG1/SGA in like a few months

TEMPTED to do universe buut we'll see

3. Ever done any drugs?

nope- not a huge fan (by that i mean I actually can't stand drugs)

4. What piercings do you want?

I'd like to redo my ears at some point

5. How many people have you kissed?

uhhh we'll say (in sexual/romantic way)

10 people

6. Describe your dream home.

clock tower penthouse overlooking the bay near the ocean or something

7. Who are you jealous of?

those who are successful

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

simpsons futurama or daria

9. Do you watch porn?

nope

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

nah I have this blog, a star wars one I kinda forgot about/let die, and one for my first book trilogy I may wipe at some point cause I /have never gotten what I wanted to do with it/

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

beach

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

to never work again and enjoy comfort

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

nah

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

pay off debt

get my own place

not worry about bills for a while

15. Are you in a relationship?

I am not that being said if someone wants me- they gotta earn me cause I'm expensive AS FUCK

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

nah like I follow sex workers but that is cause either friends/acquaintances and I support their hard work but thats bout it

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

nah

18. What tattoos do you want?

omg too many lol I always want new tattoos

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I probably would just legally change my name to JM instead of using it as a preferred name

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

Star Wars, Star Gate, streaming, writing, gaming, uhhh *shrugs*

21. Describe your best friend.

stubborn, funny, pain in the ass, smart, irritating, dependable, makes me wanna throw things at them, protective, short etc

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Insert every person I know who is attractive cause hi everyone is attractive in someway shape or form

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Skillet, Linkin Park, Protomen, MCR, Fall out Boy

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Pacific North West

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

relaxing

26. What’s your favorite season?

actual spring where its not too hot/too cold and enjoyable

27. What’s your pet peeve?

people who willfully want to be ignorant because they think its better than being educated since they think ALL educated people are elitist

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

myself

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

and here is where I catch SO MUCH FLACK

scott pilgrim

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

uhh I actually message a lot of people so like I dont think I need to do that here

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

digital baby

we're in 2021 - save the trees and give me more books to carry in a smaller lighter device :D

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

the ones I've written

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

Jedi meets Grisha, meets Cloud Strife, Loki and Scarlet Witch

34. What’s your coffee order?

I have not had coffee since high school

and my order then was a medium decaf extra extra from dunks

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Im demi, crushes= confused friendship lines lol

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

of course, im human thats kinda the side effect of loving someone for a long time, there is always a shred of you that lingers for them

37. Have any tattoos?

I have SIX tattoos yes :D

two constellations (Orion/Pisces) on my wrists, my son of hades/twitch tattoo on my right forearm, my KH tattoos on my upper biceps, and my USB/IO Keyhole tattoo on the back of my neck

38. Do you drink?

not anymore, im a depressed drunk and I am very VERY uncomfortable around people who drink/are drunk

39. Are you a virgin?

NOPE

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

go sub to my patreon for a year and I'll tell ya ;D

41. How many followers do you have?

go follow all my places get me boosted so you guys follow me everywhere and you can actually see all the shit I put out online content wise besides what I reblog on here

tumblr - 1660

twitch- 416

twitter 337

instagram- 175

tiktok-1877

youtube- 116

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Have you seen 1990s Brendan Fraser

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

im a shopaholic when depressed

44. Do you read erotica?

I have, and I'll be honest, there is a part of me that thinks it has quality of writing people should not overlook BUT its not for me I think

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

fun fact- I've only been on

46. How many people do you follow?

here- 275, tiktok 545, instagram- 392, twitter 442

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

none, I don't have celebrity crushes and shit (and before you say fraser- I can appreciate someone's attractiveness without having a crush, I'm demi, not blind)

48. Describe your ideal partner.

from two friends who know me best

- witty, witchy, nerdy, someone who I can idealize their flaws into quirks -pretty eyed, dark haired nerdy girl with curves (esp. bangin tiddies) ((I can't believe adrienne SERIOUSLY SAID THAT PART)) who is empathetic and intelligent and willing to work with you and communicate with you to build something solid and long lasting

49. Who do you text the most?

I text Icarus, Britt, and Adrienne the most

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

“That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25th, because it’s not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket!”

[horrorsummerromance]

FAIZA I'M SCREAMING THEY HAVE THE BOOKS!!

- BIS! BRIGHTS STORY OMG HOW R U FEELING!? IM SCREAMING

- THE BOOK!

- FANBOOK BRIGHT IG OMGMGGJNGJGJAAJSAKDJSKF!!!!!!

- Faiza! Please check Bright's latest ig story!!

- FAIZA! BRIGHT POSTED ON HIS STORY! I collapsed seeing ur book on his story, u really did that queeen 💅🏽

- JAJSJDHFGH OMG FAIZA THEY GOT THE BOOKS

- Holy shit faiza! Check Instagram ASAP! Bright got the book. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

- FAIZA IM SCREAMIND I JUST SAW BRIGHTS IG STORY AND DJSNSKSNS

- Fcfykjwwejbfrh QUEEN! check Bright story

- FAIZA! BRIGHT POSTED THE BOOK!

- Hiiiii bright just posted a picture of the book you made!!!

- AHHHHHH FAIZA I JUST SAW BRIGHT’S INSTA STORY!! He got the bookkkkkkk❤️❤️(I hope I’m correct that it is the book)!! I’m so happy for you all and thank you for all the hard work you and everyone else put on this project!! Bright and win deserve all the love

- FAIZA BRIGHT JUST POSTED THE BOOK ON HIS STORY THEY GOT THE THINGS

- OMG! Faiza! Bright got the fanbook! I didn't even contribute to it yet it made me so glad to see that he received it! So happy for you and every one who put a bit of their heart into that book.

- FAIZA !!!! THE BOOKS !!! I saw Bright’s story and camr running!!!! Is this what you were being cryptic about tho 👀 ONG IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!

- FAIZAAAAA!!!! go check Bright's instagram stories RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! 😭

- IM SURE YOU'LL GET A MILLION MESSAGES FOR THIS BUT BRIGHT POSTED A STORY WITH THE FANBOOK 😭😭♥️

- BRIGHT HAS THE BOOK! WIN PROBABLY DOES TOO! THEY RECEIVED THE LOVE 🥺

- Faiza I don't know if you've seen yet but I think Bright got the fanbook! He put something in his Insa stories about an hour ago.

- omg the book is in his ig story! 🤍

- it looks like brightwin got your books! they look lovely, thank you and best wishes to u!

- Hi faiza did u happen to see bright’s latest insta story👀👀👀 because I think u should!!

- omg it happened

- FAIZA, THEY GOT YOUR BOOKS!!!!

- FAIZA THEY GOT THE BOOKS !!!!

- MISS FAIZA THEY GOT THE BOOKS -1ovebound

- OMG FAIZAAAAAA!!! THEY GOT THE BOOKS!! BRIGHT POSTED ON HIS INSTA STORY OMGGGGGG

- Faiza they got the book look bright igs

- faiza!!!! faiza!!!!!!!!! FAIZA!!!!!!!!

- good morning my dear, i know it's 6am there and you probably have thousands of messages in your inbox but i want to reiterate: thank you so much for organising this. you have put your life and soul and heart into this and being able to see it in their hands is overwhelming enough for the rest of us, but even more tremendous for you. i just wanted to make my appreciation and love for you known again, this was such an amazing and kind undertaking and i know we all appreciate it. thank you, ily!

- so busy these days... BUT NEVER NOT PROUD OMGG SO PROUD, FAIZAAAA! LOOK AT BRIGHT'S INSTA OMGG YOU DESERVE IT SM! ILY ❤️

- FAIZAAA!!! OMG THANK FOR DOING THIS PROJECT I AM SURE BRIGHT AND WIN HAVE THE BIGGEST SMILES ON THEIR FACES RIGHT NOW I AM ACTUALLY CRYING *SOBS*

- im on the verge of tears on your behalf seeing bright's story.... i am so happy for you :(((( also i know this is gonna blow up on twitter you're a celebrity now

- The law of equivalent exchange. Brightwin get the books however you get twitter people coming into your anons

- let them link u Faiza! U deserve the praise 🥳💕

- I didn't write anything for the book cuz I'm really bad at writing this kind of things (I never know what to write even if I have so much to say, and writing this is causing me stress) but I'm really happy that they received something so special, done entirely because you and many people love them. Anyways, thanks for coming with this project to make them know how much they're loved❤️ you're such a good person.

- FAIZA!! i saw brights ig story and immediately rushed here! so happy for them and for you, i know they will love it so much

- I see the tweets about u in my timeline!! I feel like a proud friend even though I’m just an anon! I’m like “I KNOW HER! I LIKE HER CONTENT ALL THE TIME!” 🤣

- Seeing ppl not know about the fan project is kinda hilarious and strange lol, the tumblr community feels so tight knit so it’s like unexpected! You and Rahul are like our leaders 🤍

- I'm really happy for you!!! ❤❤❤ you did such a good job and the books got there safely *throws all the hearts*

- SO HAPPY FOR YOU❤️

- Hi, Faiza! Tysm for putting together the project idk if I actually got my letter on time but regardless seeing in bright's ig made me feel like floating, he has the words of people who love him and his work on his hands, and he gets to cherish that forever. 👌🏽💕 Tysm

- faiza u really r the beating heart of this fandom. i love u so much thank u for existing

- Hi Faiza!! i just saw bright’s ig story and seeing him hold the book is making me so emotional i can’t even form words right now but i just wanted to tell u THANK U. this wouldn’t have happened without u. ur so .. ur such a .. AAAAAAAAA I DONT HAVE A GOOD ENOUGH WORD TO DESCRIBE U !!! JUST !!! pls know my love, respect and gratitude for u is endless !!!! thank u so much for everything that u do !!! ❤️❤️

- The way that I got like super emotional when I saw Bright’s post with the book and then my first though was I wonder how Faiza feels rn. I can’t stop smiling, I’m so happy that I participated on the books! Thank you again 💕

HELLOOOOO EVERYONE!!!!

oh wow thats. yeah. yall really are the absolute GREATEST people. i was up until 1am last night thinking and stressing out over when the boys would get the books. and amidst that stress, i fell asleep???

and i woke up at 6am to go watch wyel but i thought ill come on here first .... and i got FLOODED with messages!!! so to answer that one anon, yes, THIS is what i was being cryptic about!!

and i still cant bring myself to go and physically see brights ig story yet. im too too nervous to do that hsjhd but yall have sent me screenshots, so thank you sm sm sm for it!!!!

i hope win can post something soon too, so i know he's got his aswell and put my mind at ease!!

but urm. yeah. its been a Wild 2 months making this. thank you EVERYONE for contributing and providing so much support and motivation. it truly goes to show the power we can have as people when we come together for a good cause! and they have a piece of you now! to cherish and hold!!! and read and gain strength from! as i said, we sowed the seeds, and here are the fruits of our labour!! and im so happy i could be a messenger in some way to carry all those words of affection yall have and your own personal stories and experiences and hand them over to them. thank you all for trusting me to do so. i was so scared bc i didnt wanna let you guys down!

i love you all SO SO much!!! yall are truly the greatest friends!! 🧡🧡🧡

[purplesurveys]

1122

survey by lets-make-surveys

1 - Would you describe yourself as neat, messy or somewhere in-between? Hardcore in-between. I tend to make a slight mess everywhere I go but I remember where everything is; which is exactly why it drives me crazy whenever my much-neater mom moves my stuff around in an attempt to help me.

2 - What do you have planned for tomorrow? Is that typical for you for that day of the week? Again, it’s a weekday so it’s just another typical work day for me. It’s a Friday though, so I’ll be looking forward to close out the week. I am reeeeally crossing my fingers that it won’t be hectic tomorrow, but of course that’s going to be a lie.

3 - If you have pets, when was the last time one of them needed to go the vets? Cooper was scheduled to go the vet late January, so I took him then. He needed to take a shot but I don’t quite remember what it had been for anymore.

4 - Would you freak out if you found a cockroach or other kind of bug in your home? Bugs are a normal sight so I wouldn’t freak out over them. Cockroaches are a different story, though.

5 - What’s your favourite kind of milk to drink (if you drink it)? I don’t drink milk by itself.

6 - Do you find that your skin has gotten worse since the beginning of the pandemic with having to wear a mask? It definitely has gotten worse. I have a pimple in between my eyebrows that’s been hanging out for a few months now and I can never seem to get rid of it. I think it’s because I’ve been staying at home where there are two dogs that aren’t always the cleanest, though, and not because of masks.

7 - Aside from Tumblr, what was the last website you visited and what were you doing on there? Twitter. I just checked for any new tweets on my timeline and if I’ve gotten notifications since I last visited.

8 - Do you use streaming services to watch TV? Which one is your favourite and what do you like to watch on there? I use Netflix and a free version of Viu, which really just gives me ads in between my shows which doesn’t bother me too much. On Netflix I mostly rewatch Friends whenever I need pick-me-ups; on Viu, I watch 2 Days 1 Night.

9 - Are you a fan of garlic bread? Only if it’s a side meal to pasta. I don’t seek it out on its own as I hate the strong taste of garlic.

10 - Have you had a good day so far? What have you been up to? If it’s first thing in the morning, what did you get up to yesterday? It was fine. It’s a holiday so I was looking forward to today all week hahah. I just caught up on rest and watched an episode of 2D1N; and I actually just got home from the local coffee shop since I desperately needed me time. It can get exhausting staying at home all week and seeing the same 4 people and not having a place where I can be entirely alone. After the coffee shop, I also stayed in the parking lot for an hour and a half so I could vape in the car, and also because the place was starting to become crowded.

11 - What’s your favourite way to eat your eggs? Poached, scrambled, or an omelette with a lot of fillings in it.

12 - When the pandemic is over, what is one thing you can’t wait to do again? Going back to the bar/club scene, traveling, and seeing all my college friends.

13 - Do you know anyone who could be described as a hoarder? How would you feel going into a house like that? I’m a bit of a hoarder but I stuff all the crap in my drawers. I’ve never been into a hoarder’s home where the situation could be considered extremely serious.

14 - What’s one thing (aside from essentials) that you spend the most money on each month? Has anyone ever told you you’re obsessed or addicted with it? Taking myself out to get nice food, which isn’t an essential in this case lol. It’s my favorite way of spoiling myself since I love food. I’ve definitely been told I’m obsessed, but it’s true so it doesn’t bother me.

15 - What’s your favourite way to get exercise? Is this something you do regularly or not? I just walk my dogs. Yeah, I try to do it a few times weekly.

16 - What’s your favourite genre of TV show to watch? What’s your favourite show that’s not from that genre? Dramas and sitcoms, mostly. I never expected to enjoy The Walking Dead but I did, at least until the 6th or 7th season.

17 - Would you rather be employed or self-employed? Why? Employed. I don’t think I’d ever be capable of running my own business.

18 - When was the last time you threw away food that had gone off before you got around to using it? Is that something that happens often? This doesn’t happen to me since I don’t cook, but the last time I had to throw out food was last month. I had ordered a Croque Madame at La Creperie and had my leftovers for takeout since I wasn’t able to finish it...then I forgot about it until a week later, lmao. It did not look and smell nice, obviously. But anyway, to answer the second question, I had a bad tendency to similarly forget about my packed food especially back in my college days; but since I just stay at home these days, this doesn’t happen a lot anymore.

19 - Do you do a job that requires you to wear a uniform? If not, what do you typically wear to work each day? No but we have a dress code, at least for the physical office. Business casual, then we have casual Fridays.

20 - Is your hair naturally curly, straight or somewhere in between? Do you wish it was different? Somewhere in between. Not really. I don’t feel too conscious about my hair, except for the fact that I wish it were less frizzy.

21 - If someone were to buy you flowers, what kind of flowers would you like them to buy you? I love flowers and would adore any kind.

22 - Are any of your electronics on charge right now? Nope but I know I have to charge my phone since it was at 6% the last time I checked. I’ll plug it in before I head to bed.

23 - Have you had to take a COVID test yet? Was it positive or negative? No, never had to. I deliberately avoid going to places where a swab test is required.

24 - Do you leave your house everyday? Is this for work, exercise, socialising or something else? Nah. Usually just on weekends, when I need time by myself. I use the time outside to recharge and see people other than family, even if the people I see are complete strangers.

25 - If an unknown number calls you, do you google the number to see who it was? I dunno if that kind of technology exists here, but I’ve never tried it and I doubt it would give me leads either.

26 - Given the choice, would you rather deal with a problem in person, over the phone or via e-mail? Depends on the gravity of the issue.

27 - Do you find it awkward when strangers try and make small talk with you? No. I appreciate it a lot, actually. If it seems as though they genuinely just want to make conversation I’d happily dive right into it.

28 - Have you ever fallen for a scam? Did you ever get your money back? Fortunately I never have.

29 - Who was the last person you argued with? What was the argument about and have you solved the problem yet? My mom; money issues. Yup.

30 - What colour are your bedsheets right now? When was the last time you changed them? I feel like I always answer this with my blue and yellow bedsheets, but I swear I change them every now and then. I just never encounter this question when I have another bedsheet in use lmao.

[madzilla84]

update

Did anyone ask for one? No. Does anyone want it? Probably not … I guess there’s still some small part of me that misses having a Livejournal.

In general, things have been - better. I started going outside a bit more from late-ish July, but honestly I don’t know if I started feeling better because I started going out, or if I started going out because I was feeling better…? A mystery. But mood tracking app - surely a reliable source of mental health info lmao - seems to agree:

(woohoo, only ‘significant burden’! i think that’s about the best you could hope for in 2020. and this was a few weeks ago, and I feel better now than I did then, so.)

I’ve been off work for the last 3 weeks - nothing wrong, just 2 weeks of scheduled annual leave, which I needed very much (I think part of why I was feeling bad was because I hadn’t had a break since February), and last week I had a week of jury duty. The break was much needed and I can feel the difference.

I started exercising again in July, and ugggggggh ok fine I admit I do feel better because of it. I’m never gonna be a gym bunny, I’ll probably never *love* it but I can’t deny the benefits. I go 3 times a week which is enough for me. (Though I only went twice last week and this week - last week I was pretty wrecked after court each day and this week I am focussing on being lazy.) Going outside again was strange at first, like the previous 4 months hadn’t happened, but it didn’t take long to feel (mostly) normal again.

I’ve also had a couple of social things, which has been nice - one lunch out at an outdoor restaurant, and one bbq at a friend’s house. (She moved in recently at the end of my street; while I was sitting in her living room I could look out of the window at my own flat. Weird!) I’ve been thinking a lot about Dan’s tweet about who he realised he wants in his life after lockdown, and it’s just. Interesting.

I’m DELIGHTED it’s September and the start of the best months, the -embers and -obers; it’s still pretty warm and mostly sunny here but it’s really nice, the bite’s gone out of the warmth. Not long now until it Gs the FO entirely. \o/ I’m still playing Animal Crossing every day, (unlike some people, smh poor abandoned Pickle). 

Jury duty last week was fascinating. I didn’t even know if I’d get picked - they call more than twice as many people as they need in case anyone can’t do it for whatever reason (if one of the lawyers is a family friend or something), but I did end up being chosen. (No. 12!!) We were the first post-covid jury, and the first socially distanced one. 

I *can* talk about the case now it’s over, but I don’t think I will, because the subject matter could be pretty triggering, but it was often a tough week given the nature of it. Having said that, something about it was very satisfying. It was fascinating to see how the courts and lawyers worked, and the whole process, and it was good to work with the other jurors. (Days on end of talking to actual humans was actually pretty good, for the most part.) We were all just thrown together, and we had differences of opinion of course, but it was still a good experience to work with them. It felt good to be part of something like that, something that mattered, and to feel like a part of the community in such a real way. I can be quite good at putting aside emotion to look at the letter of the law, which in a case like this can be very challenging; some of the other jurors struggled with it a great deal. (This isn’t to blow my own trumpet or anything; many would argue it was *me* who had the problem, in much the same way they often say lawyers are heartless, which isn’t true most of the time)

The case ended up being dismissed as the jury couldn’t reach a consensus - we got slated on social media (which of course I didn’t look at during the case, I caught up after), but we all stuck to our convictions and I know it was right; there’s a lot the public didn’t know or understand. As tough a case as it was, I’m glad I got to do it, it was a privilege in many ways. (But, I wouldn’t mind if it was a long time until I had to do it again, you know? lol.)

We had our phones taken from 9-5 while we were working - it’s the law - and I thought it was gonna be the worst after being glued to it constantly, but it was actually quite nice lmao. Not that I didn’t end up glued to it again once the case was over.

Fandom-wise, I have - finally - ended up taking a step back from the phandom a little bit in the last month or two. I want to talk about that a bit because it’s a complicated topic, and I see a lot of concerning posts - mainly on Twitter - that if you don’t maintain a certain level of dedication, if you join another fandom or get into something else or aren’t sufficiently devoted and supportive you - aren’t a true fan? Or something? Lots of posts along the lines of, ‘all these people getting into kpop/tv show/whatever, smh, don’t think we won’t remember when dan’s project drops and you all come running back’. It’s just a bit - weird? Like, it’s *perfectly normal* if people get into other stuff while dnp are cooking whatever they’re cooking (or not cooking, or whatever)? Or just move on, but still enjoy D&P? 

I’m not, like, dramatically leaving the fandom or anything. Hell, I haven’t *left* the fandom at all, I’m still here every day, it’s - more of a mental shift. Because prior to July/August-ish this year I really wasn’t in a good place with it. I wrote a thing earlier this year about struggling with writing, and belonging while not being a content creator, and other things … the issue is that, as I tend to do with my fandoms, I get too overinvested. And sometimes, that’s okay - whatever gets you through the night and all that - but in this case, I wasn’t enjoying it any more. Some parts I was - I’ve made the best friends I’ve ever had in a fandom here, and I really like seeing everyone on here - but in general, I was spending a lot of my time feeling anxious, resentful, worried, angry and frustrated. I spent a lot of last year and almost all of this one waiting for Godot; hating the “new normal” and desperately waiting for - something that’s never going to come. I just couldn’t deal with it; probably for reasons bigger than just D&P but that’s how it manifested. I got more and more frustrated by the content we were getting because it wasn’t what I’d hoped, and I hated feeling like that. It took up way too much of my thoughts and every day was just waiting, and wondering, and worrying. And I got so, so sick of it.

So, where am I now? Well, it was inevitable really, but I just started to - let go, a bit. I didn’t throw my hands up and go, ’bah, screw these guys!’, my mental focus just shifted (for my own good), and I started focussing on other things. Other fandoms. Games and hobbies I can distract myself with. I’ll admit it wouldn’t necessarily have been my *choice*, you know? But reality is what it is and I’m - relieved, really, that I’m not unnecessarily tormenting myself about it any more. It took me a long time to reach this place - too long, really - and, for now at least, it’s kind of nice. I can just enjoy things if/when they pop up without the accompanying sadness and anger about how everything is changed, about what has ended and what I’ve “lost”. (And it’s not 100%, by the way; it’s still there, just - quiet, now.) I can look at, I dunno, someone’s gifs of Dan or whatever, and just smile about it rather than feeling that grief. (Or, feel it, but not to the exclusion of everything else.) It’s - nicer.

And it isn’t at *all* that I don’t care any more, I still love them, of course I do, and will continue to follow them and watch everything they do. I’m not going anywhere. I still have notifs on, though they don’t quite send my heart into my throat like they did. ;) In a way it’s helping me love them more, because now when I watch them I enjoy it more, appreciating the fun and the bants without laser-focussing on my own anger and sadness. I’m still attending our little daily phannie watch-alongs, where we watch a couple of eps of DAPG and an anime. I’m still on phandom tumblr/twitter on the daily. It just - has a slightly smaller portion of my brain and mental energy now.

It was a step I needed to take, but also one I’m not sure I could have *chosen* to take, not without deliberately leaving and cutting it all off completely? And I didn’t want to do that. I’d hoped I’d get to this place earlier than this - some 20 months after the fact - but better late than never, I suppose.

(Also, disclaimer - fandom and the human heart are funny things, and I fully accept I can and probably will be sucked completely back in at any time.)

Anyway! SEE YOU AT THE QUIZ :D

[witchylittlefox]

My Thoughts and Feelings About Star Wars as of 2019

I held off sharing my complete feelings on this franchise/fandom because I wanted to wait for TROS to be out. since I have seen it now I’m ready to share how I feel about disney owned Star Wars, the fandom war, reylo, and TROS. Heads up these are my opinions and if we disagree that’s okay! But I would appreciate some respect when it comes to nasty comments because some of the things I’m going to say can be..... controversial in the reylo community.

Preface: I have been a Star Wars fan since I was 4 years old. I somehow figured out how to used a VHS machine and I would insert Return of the Jedi and rewind to watch it over and over again. To this day that movie is my favorite out of all of them. Star Wars was something my brother and I shared together and he would lend me all the EU books. I loved all the stories about Jacen and Jaina Solo at Luke’s jedi academy. I grew up with the prequels and yes, I am a prequel defender but they were corny as hell. So not to toot my own horn but I was very much invested in the lore and commited to the series before Disney bought it.

Disney Star Wars: Disney had absolutely no idea what they were doing with the movies (atleast when it comes to the Skywalkers + everyone related to the OT trio). They spat on the OT character’s legacy. They turn Luke into a character who seems to care nothing about helping his sister. No way in the world would Luke just throw a lightsaber off a cliff. Han and Leia are treated a little better (more so Leia), but Disney is passive agressive with them and make them out to be these horrible parents that decide to send away their son because they’re scared of him. No wonder Ben turned out the way he did. Rey, well......they could of written her better and don’t get me wrong I love aspects of her but this should of been Ben’s time to shine. HE should of been the main character of all the movies. Finn? Would of been cool seeing more perspective from an ex stormtrooper but nahhhh let’s just make him fawn over rey in the first one and then in the second give him this whole arc making us think he’s getting somewhere and then another badly written character ruins it. Poe? Well he atleast got more of an arc than Finn but he’s still so flat.

The Fandom Menace And the Fandom War: I decided after TLJ came out that I was not going to label myself in this fight. It seemed like (or atleast on Tumblr) that you couldn’t be a Reylo if you hated Rian Johnson. Rian was made out to be this “savior” of some sorts, just because he focused the movie to be more Reylo centered. YES he is talented. YES I’m thankful he gave us more of a Reylo plot, But jeez that guy is an ass (I didn’t want to cuss in this but oh well lol). Calling out fans on Twitter? Calling them names? Ridiculing Mike Zeroh? Which say what you will about Mike (not a huge fan of him tbh) but god he’s a fan of the series why are you making fun of him? But those people who are apart of the Fandom Menace are not innocent. A lot of them (NOT ALL, but most) only make videos on Youtube hating on Star Wars because it’s cool. They use the hate to get attention. I’m just not all about that. I agree with them on a lot...but seriously at what cost do we have to allow this. Both sides are annoying and immature and I choose not to take a side. I will like what I want about Star Wars and dislike what I want about Star Wars. I am not going to be a sheep. So yes... I am a Reylo, hardcore since TFA came out in 2015 and yes, I think Rian Johnson is a crappy person and I won’t be seeing any of his movies ever again (besides rewatching TLJ) because I don’t want to give money to someone who fuels the fan war. That being said, I dont support (whether that be my viewership or money) anyone who is in the “Fandom Menace” and does the same for the other side.

Reylo: The only thing I really cared about in this sequel trilogy was Reylo. I honestly started to care less about the other characters like Finn and Poe, which in my opinion is sad and just goes to show how bad Disney was at writing these characters. What got me so choked up about their relationship was how raw it was. It wasn’t some unrealistic clean romance. There was no love at first sight (at least on Rey’s end.. can’t say for Ben). It felt so real to me. They reached a level of intimacy that honestly in my opinion reached higher than sexual intercourse. Unconditional love is something that I hold close to my heart, it may be because of my faith, but the fact that Rey saw through Kylo and could see that at his core he was just Ben, emotionally hurt and lost, just wanting someone to believe in him. And she did! she believed in him when his uncle and mother easily gave up hope for him (again horrible character writing bc uhhh sry but isn’t hope supposed to be a theme with them???). And Ben loved her in return!! He protected her and not this stupid patronizing crap that Finn does (Which side note: THAT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH LOL. John Boyega was wasted with this stupid character). Ben knew her strength and worth and only did what a man should do in a relationship, not overstep, not take control but add his part to the relationship, creating symbiosis. If you look up the meaning of “Dyad”, this comes up:

specifically, sociology : two individuals (such as husband and wife) maintaining a sociologically significant relationship

They are equal. No one is better than the other. They are two sides of the same coin and they complete each other.

And at last....

TROS: Well crap. This movie was...... not amazing. I will have to say that I have only seen it once at this point and may make an edit to it if I change my mind. Honestly though... I can’t see myself changing my opinion but it may happen after a second viewing. I had been following the leaks and yup pretty much all true. And yep... Ben dies. Not only does he die but he barely gets any time to shine when he is redeemed. I am grateful we finally got the Reylo kiss we all waiting for but did he really have to die??? I know lots are saying he didn’t die because we didn’t see him show up as a force ghost in the end but obviously there is no confirmation from Disney on this. The fact that he died for her to live just supports everything I have said above. But where was her emotion? I expected her to be crying? it seemed to appear like she couldn’t care less, yet she was the one who went in for the kiss first and then she seems to be fine when everyone is rejoicing and hugging in celebration? Why didn’t they add him in as a voice in her head or something (ooh fanfic idea! :) ) Why did Rey call herself Rey Skywalker?! I’m sorry but she DOES NOT desserve that title plus she is still a Palpatine! That does not change anything. Don’t get me started on Palpatine.... bringing him back was the dumbest decision ever and undid everything that Anakin did. Now I would of been slightly okay with it if they got Anakin in to help to defeat him but we only got his voice and a bunch of other jedi’s voices sharing words of guidance (which ngl it was nice hearing Ahsoka) but holy heck you could of atleast added ben to the mix. They could of both heard the voices and ended Palpatine together? Also what happened to Rey and Kylo fighting through the various scenes of the past movies? I thought that was a leak? They did absolutely NOTHING to tie up the OT and PT. It has no ties to PT, besides Anakin’s voice and some of the other jedi in the mix (Mace Windu, Ayala Secura, Yoda, Ahsoka Tano, etc..). I know I’m nitpicking but I am atleast grateful we got their voices I just wish we actually got to see their faces. That’s a lot of negatives though so here is what I did like:

Babu Frik.

Rey’s kind heart ( you see that when she greets the little girl on Pasaana, helps D.O. and the snake creature)

The banter between Finn, Poe, and Rey

C-3PO ( they really did him justice)

Ben (just all of him everything about him)

Lando was pretty good

Seeing Wicket at the end with his child ( I think that’s his child?)

Wedge Antilles showing up for like one second ( although that could be a negative because I thought he was going to be in it more because of the book Resistance Reborn. WHICH OH YEAH..... this movie retconned that book btw! So not only was it a horrible book but everything in it doesnt matter)

Conclusion: So yeah, I am not happy. But in the end I will always love Star Wars no matter what. This franchise has taught me so much about hope, love, and even redemption. It was such a fun ride on here. There were ups and downs ( anyone remember that Reylo discourse a while back lol) but we made it. Even though as Reylos, it didn’t end the way we wanted it... we still were proved right. We fought hard against the antis when they kept trying to tell us Reylo wasn’t a thing and boy were they wrong..... they were very wrong. I don’t know what the future holds in store for Reylo’s story or even Star Wars but all we have to do is look forward and have hope for Ben because just as the great Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker once said:

"No one is ever really gone."

May the Force be with you all.

[maggieisalarrie]

Hiiii! 2,4,8,13,16,19,25,63,68,70,113,119,127,150! Sorry if it’s a lot, I’m just curious!!

Hiiiii! Lol, thank you for sending all of these! 💕

2. Are you outgoing or shy? 

Definitely more on the shy side. I’m an introvert to my core and I can be outgoing with people I know or in certain situations or moods, but typically I’m the quiet person with the resting bitch face who gives off “leave me alone” vibes because #SocialAnxiety 

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I chuckled reading this one because I want to say yes because I try really hard to be as nice and welcoming as possible, but I actually think I’m not too easy to get along with in real life. Like I said, I have a mean resting bitch face and my anxiety gets the best of me a lot of times so I throw walls up every chance I get and sometimes it comes across the wrong way. So. I try to be but I don’t think I am lol

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Sam Smith (even though he(?) recently came out as non-binary, I’m still counting it. In a non-offensive kind of way, obviously). His album comes out tomorrow and I’ve been listening to his music for weeks to get myself pumped for it. I love that precious little baby so much AND I GET TO SEE HIM IN CONCERT IN JUNE! 

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? 

Mmmmmm. Tricky, this. Yes and no. When someone I know very well asks to play with my hair, I’ll say yes if I want it. I have a weird thing about touching, like I don’t really enjoy people touching me in general. Weird, I know. So when someone I don’t know comes up and just starts touching me my whole body goes into Red Alert mode, like I tense up and alarms start going off in my head. I do like how it feels to have my hair played with, but I only like it when someone asks permission first. 

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed? 

Nope. Partly because I don’t think I actually remember who it was (it’s been a while, although I have a pretty good guess) and partly because, if I’m thinking of the right person, I don’t want to even talk to them again. Ended badly and all that. 

19. Do you like bubble baths?

I think so. I’m not much of a bath person because we don’t have a tub deep enough for a true soak, but I think I would enjoy a bubble bath if I ever end up in a home with a nice, giant, soaker tub. (Plus, bath bombs fascinate me)

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

I have a hard time with this question because I’m all about body positivity and loving yourself and feeling comfortable with what you’ve been given in this life, but at the same time I’m honestly terrible at practicing what I preach sometimes. I have trouble accepting myself and appreciating my body, so I’m uncomfortable with pretty much all of it. Even though I’m the first to tell other people how beautiful they are, how they should try to see it from a different perspective, and that sort of thing. So. Yep.

63. Ever been in love?

Nope. I thought I was a couple times but I was young(er) and stupid(er). I fall fast and hard, as much as I try not to, and I’m not good at identifying and labeling my emotions.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr, right now. It used to be Twitter but I’ve kind of separated myself from it because of everything going on in the world and it just brings me more anxiety and stress. Tumblr is my happy place.

70. Names of your best friends? 

Sorry to disappoint, but I’m a freak about security and I obsess over staying anonymous here, so I won’t give their names but their initials are L, K, M, S, and C. (also, I use “best friends” loosely. Those people are like my only friends anyway lol)

113. What was your childhood nickname?

I guess Mags. Nicknames are hard with a name like Maggie. 

119. Favorite book? 

I really like The Picture of Dorian Gray. I spend pretty much all of my reading time on fanfics rather than books or published novels. 

127. What makes you happy?

The first thing that popped into my head was cats lol. I love cats, they’re so funny and cute and their bean toes give me life! Um, the cliche/normal things make me happy, I guess. Like reading, writing, music and going to concerts… yeah lol 

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 

So the closest “book” is actually my journal/planner because I’m “working” and page 42 is my notes about the UN Women’s HeForShe initiative lol. So the first line reads “UN Women - HeForShe” and then some bullet points under that. That might be cheating but oh well *shrugs* :) 

Send me one of these!

[b0ne-marrow]

Valorverse - Learning The Truth

Pippin stared blankly at the smaller Yak in front of him, blinking. He stepped back a few steps in surprise. Did he follow him here? The Yak nearly froze when he saw Pippin at the door, shaking his head and wiping his eyes to make sure he was seeing things right. "Oh... Yak not know that this is where you live!" Red Velvet spoke nervously. "Yak knew that one of my mother's friend used to live here! That's why Yak came here, I didn't mean to startle you, Mr. Pippin." "Please..." Pippin Clear's his throat. "You can just say Pippin or Pip; No need for formalities! Come right on in!" He walks to the side of the door and gestures a hoof towards the chair he fell in earlier. Velvet daintily walks over to it and sits down, watching Pippin as he closes the door, flicks the light on, and goes to find a chair he can fit in. He continues their conversation, yelling from the room he's looking for a chair in.  "So, you think that your mother's friend lived here on the apple farm? Well, I sure don't know who'd that be if I'm gonna be right honest."   He enters the room, pushing a chair with his head and sets it catercorner from Velvet's. He sits in it, giving Velvet a tender but somber gaze. "My Momma is the only one in my family to have ever even met a Yak, and I think I would've known if she would've had a Yak friend. Could you maybe give me a name or maybe the colors you remember of who you think your mom knew, or maybe even the name of your mom, Sugarcube?" Celestia alive, Pippin HATES it when he says Sugarcube. He always feels embarrassed afterwards.  Velvet looked toward the ground. He fiddled with his hooves, a clinking sound coming from them as he clopped them together. "You See... Yak have a secret. Can you keep secret, Pippin?" Pippin tilted his head in confusion. "Well, uh, sure Prince Re-" "Red Velvet or just Velvet will do, Pippin. Like you said before; No need for formalities... You are a pony, right? You're awfully big for one." Velvet smiled for a moment and chuckled, Pippin chuckling with him. He then had a dejected look on his face, staring at the ground again.  "My mother isn't a yak. My mother is a pony like you."  He sighs. "This is no secret to the other Yaks, but my dad wants it to be secret to the ponies. Well, at least until I find my mom."  Pippin's eyes go wide, he gasping, partially in surprise of the sudden articulation from him, but mainly out of realization. "I... Are you...?" He looked at the Yak up and down. He had a heart shaped mark on his muzzle. There were balloons and streamer decorations on the decorative bands and shoes he was wearing. His hair, though way more dark, was a pink-ish color. Even his braided beard looked like hearts.... it clicked. "Well I'LL be! You must be Pinkie's baby."  Velvet shot up, walking over to Pippin and bouncing excitedly. "Oh, Yak should go buy lotto ticket because he is so lucky! Do you know Pinkie and where she is?"   "I'm afraid your luck's ran out, friend." Pippin said as his ears flopped over, a stern look on his face. "I can tell you where your mom is, or at least my Ma can cuz I don't know, but I'm afraid she won't be anything like you probably remember her." Velvet stopped bouncing and looked at Pippin with a worried expression, extending one of his hooves out to touch him on the leg. "... Is Yak's mother okay?" "She's... Alive. She's okay in that sense, but she's not like she used to be." Pippin reaches one of his arms over and pulls Velvet close to him, hugging him. "She was throwing a birthday party for Sugar Rush... Oh..." He pulled back for a moment, looking at Velvet in the eyes. "You have some siblings, by the way. Sugar Rush is one, and the other is Nimbostratus. Both of them are real nice." Velvet was in pure awe. He had no idea that his mom not only moved on from Rutherford, but had other kids as well. "...Anyways, she was throwing a party, and a decoration or somethin' she made wasn't built right and toppled over... It hit a few buildings on the way down, and..." "...And?" Velvet pleaded with him to continue.  "There were poor unfortunate souls trapped under it. While they were able to rescue some, ...most of them didn't make it. Bless them all." He saw that Velvet started to shake, his lip quivering.  "It got to her, ya know? She was devastated. She took it so hard she wasn't herself and she had to do therapy for years." He walked toward Velvet again and gave him another hug. "She's doing a LOT better though, don't worry! She just doesn't throw parties anymore, and she is a lot more... tired? Exhausted? Crabby? Not really crabby... It's hard to explain." Silence filled the room as Pippin kept an arm over Velvet. Velvet sniffled a few times like he was going to cry but didn't.  "She'd love to see you, Velvet. She never stopped talking about you and missed you every day."  He blushed, looking at Velvet. "I just never knew your name. Plus, she said she had a daughter, not a son, and I never knew you were a Yak of course either..." More silence. Pippin eventually stopped hugging him and just watched him, willing to give a support if he needed to.  After a painfully long amount of time, Velvet finally responds. "I guess, being Trans would be Yaks second secret out." He chuckled, his voice strained and cracking with pain. He sounded like he could start sobbing at any time.   "A.. Are you okay, Velvet? Ah... I know I just met you, but I'm here for you if you need any help or anything."  Pippin blushed and looked away, sitting his hind quarters on the ground. Velvet walked towards him and rested his head against his chest, lifting a hoof and trying to give him a hug. Pippin wrapped his arms around him, his face going bright red as Velvet started to tear up.  "You ponies are way too nice, especially since we're at war." He smiled weakly. "Yak appreciates it deeply, friend." Pippin smiled. "That's just how I do things, Velvet. Or rather I should say, that's how Apples do things." Pippin's voice was wavy and fluttery.  Velvet sat there for a moment, leaning onto him and thinking as he heard Pippin's heart beat. Which... wow... Was really fast. Did his heart need to pump faster because of his size?  He broke the hug and stepped away from him. "Do you mind if we go try and find your mom so we could find Pinkie?" Velvet asked. "Sure thing, I don't mind at all, Sugarcube." Previous: https://www.deviantart.com/musical-medic/art/Valorverse-At-First-Sight-795313320 the plot CHICKENS wait.. This got WAYY longer than I wanted it too cuz I was originally just gonna post it by it's self, but I thought I'd make a quick drawing to go with it lol I used the same apple farm background that I did last time https://www.deviantart.com/boneswolbach/art/Apple-Family-Den-310654865 Sorry for all the Pippin and Velvet spam, tbh I don't really have much on the Valorverse besides what I've already written about and it's hard to draw it, and while I know what's going on in the Mediverse it's also HARD to draw, so doing these has been fun as I can explore their relationship. Now to figure out where to go from there, lol. Characters:  https://www.deviantart.com/musical-medic/art/Valorverse-Pippin-Lil-Mac-787115604 https://www.deviantart.com/musical-medic/art/Valorverse-Prince-Red-Velvet-Truffle-790652283 If you like what I do on here, please consider supporting me on patreon as well as the other websites I'm on, as well as commissioning me or donating! I'd really like to do art professionally.  Commission Information: (Will be posted soon!)  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Musicalmedic DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/musical-medic Instagram: @ musical_mediic or https://www.instagram.com/musical_mediic/ Furaffinity: https://furaffinity.net/user/musicalmedic/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/Musical_mediic Tumblr: https://Musical-mediic.tumblr.com Posted using PostyBirb

[wereikonics]

Love Scenario - iKON analysis

@/bianxstan on Twitter - 7:51 PM - 29 Jan 2019

PS: Comment, RT or even re-post but I would appreciate it if you guys credit where credit is due. Thank you! 

PSS: I don't claim to be an expert. I just share what I know and my interpretation of things.

Please find @/bianxstan on Twitter. This Tumblr is an archive and @/bianxstan is only reachable via Twitter.

Before you go on, I want you to focus on these lyrics as you read through: "...a pretty decent ending. That's enough for me."

~

When composers, imho, create music as simple as this one, the intention becomes clearer: the composer intended it to be SIMPLE. It is either because the musician wants to bring light into the lyrics or the musician wants the instrumentals to be focused on.

~

In Love Scenario, #Hanbin did both. And so, you have to find the beauty in that simplicity because the intention of the composer lies in it.

~

Take note that not all simple things are created with beauty in mind. Like the idea of minimalism, the purpose of it is to maintain a lifestyle centered on necessity with minimal regard for aesthetics. However, not all minimalist approaches are created without complexity.

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#Hanbin created a complex minimalist approach to this song without compromising the beauty of it. I knew the song will be a sleeper hit. Why? Because the first thought that will come to mind is that it is SIMPLE.

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However, it sounds weird from a musically inclined person's perspective. I won't get into the whys but to me that weirdness became the charm of the song. It was a hit because we didn't realize that a simple song like this can leave us feeling relieved until we hear it.

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#Hanbin's usage of staccato (when notes are played as if each note is detached to one another i.e. Metronome and piano melody) and sustain (when notes are prolonged i.e. bass and synths) were executed with such sophistication. It NEVER got too much, just ENOUGH.

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Staccatos tend to make compositions bare and empty. It usually creates discord between notes. But as I've said before, #Hanbin have always had his own way of creating fluidity in music so effortlessly like it's child's play.

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#Hanbin compensated that feeling of emptiness with three main different things: another staccato melody from the piano, a syncopated but sustained bass, and the usage of vocal harmony to fill the void.

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Sidenote 1.0: When I say staccato melody from the piano, the keys played from the left hand are not played in sync with the R. hand. So the piano melody is played like this: RLRL for the most part. Although notes are not sustained, no sec/beat was left empty in the piano melody.

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Sidenote 2.0: I'm not sure if I'm using the right technical term here but from what I remember, syncopation is when the drop of the beat falls awkwardly than expected. It's like a delay of drop. It makes melodies really groovy. This is why the bass of this song is GOLD.

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Sidenote 3.0: That metronome has a weird beat structure. It's as if it's confused b/w two different time signatures. This is why it's so hard to copy its beat. Even to this day, I can't figure it out. However, I love it because it actually makes the song into something else. LOL

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Now, notice how even if the only predominant sound is the metronome (the tapping sound), you don't feel as if the bg is empty. For example (timestamp on vid), there's only 3 main things at play here: DK's vocal, vocal harmony at the bg, & the metronome.

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But as you listen to it, you'll never think that the production is lacking. This is because the vocal harmony in the background grabs your attention away from the singularity of the instrumentation. The vocal harmony was used as the main instrumentation instead.

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When #June's part enters, a whole different vibe is executed by the mere addition of claps, bass and the piano melody. The re-introduction of the metronome at the latter part of June's part was a perfect transition to #Jinhwan's part. It made the two sections cohesive.

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But as you listen to Jinhwan's part, the vibe changes. Which may be surprising since it has the same accompaniments w/ June's part. However, listen to the electric piano (synth) that seems to sing along. That ALONE changes the ENTIRE feel of the section.

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This is why I've always said that #Hanbin knows when to give & when to take. He knows the balance of things being too much and too less. Even their transitions per music section is done so effortlessly without breaking flow. The entire song just screams, "ENOUGH is ENOUGH."

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#Hanbin created simple lines of bass, piano, & metronome. The musical composition was simple & 1+1=2. You would think that simple+simple=simple. But Hanbin managed to create a musical bg that is so charming that it rings in your ears once you hear it and that is no simple feat.

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I don't know if you guys have noticed this but there are a lot of KPOP music out there that seems to be three different songs stitched together with a similarly over-layered MV. Imho, this is done to overstimulate the listener to keep them listening and watching.

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However, what #iKON did with this song was that they took influences from different genres, crushed it, and blended it all together with such class and sophistication. This is why although the song have different musical influences, it still sounds cohesive and STIMULATING.

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This is why the song sounds so familiar yet some can't exactly determine why it is so. In a saturated industry dominated by fast-paced & over-produced songs, Love Scenario came at the right time to give the industry a much needed breather. Love Scenario is refreshing.

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#Hanbin's insistence to make the vocals the driving force of this song was ingenious. This is bec Hanbin didn't do it to show off their vocal capabilities. He made the vocals at the forefront to 1) bring focus to the lyrics and 2) to balance out the simple background.

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Since the bg is simple, he tried to compensate it as well through vocal tones and the style of singing. Remember when #Hanbin said that he wants the members to sing as if they were just throwing words? That's one of the reasons why this song became a hit.

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Singing is different from talking because you sustain notes & pitches. Sometimes, that idea becomes intimidating to those who don't know how to sing. Hanbin's persistent urge to the members to sing in a way of emulating the idea of speaking made song even more approachable.

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The vocals are the main attraction but they’re not executed to show-off vocal prowess. It’s made to complete the simple background and express lyrics of contentment. The song was never sang in a way that it wasn't meant to be. There were no belting. There were no runs.

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It was just sang as simple as all the other components in the song. However, the execution really is impressive. The song never tried to be anything it's not. It didn't try to be overly hip hop, ballad, or pop. It's just LOVE SCENARIO. That simplicity became it's identity.

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"...a pretty decent ending. That's enough for me."

*Please manually search for Love Scenario on YT to help with streaming views.

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Simplicity in music compositions can be the fruit of the most complex process of creation. In order to create a simple sound that works, you almost have to try to break the limit of the process of elimination. Or just be a musical genius like Hanbin. You guys decide.

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That's it guys! Sorry it took so long. I know it's quite long but I felt like if I didn't include everything I wanted to say, I would've given it injustice. Thank you for reading!

Also, I would love it if you guys provide me some feedback. What do you want me to do better? Should I add anything? I would really appreciate it. Thank you again!

*Please reach Paula on Twitter to provide feedback.

[patriciaselina]

[VNT 60] TO THE TOP!

Komatsu: During the drinking party of the first anime I'd starred in, the one who'd kindly talked to me, who didn't know his right from his left, was Terashima-san. Terashima: Actually, at that time, Hamano-kun was also there. Hamano: Ee, I didn't know that! Terashima: That we'd have ended up in the same unit in the future seems awfully fated, doesn't it.

Voice Newtype 60 interview featuring Terashima Junta, Komatsu Shohei, and Hamano Daiki of the Idolm@ster Side M unit THE Kogadou! This is crossposted onto Wordpress for archiving purposes but the entire interview can also be found under the cut!

Interview: THE Kogadou (Terashima Junta x Komatsu Shohei x Hamano Daiki) THE Male Friendship nurtured by ramen!

THE Kogadou, a unit of physical martial artists. Introducing these three men, passionate rivals from the same generation, into the world of “Idolm@ster Side M”!

What impressions did your roles leave on you?

Terashima: With Takeru, there wasn't any of the hesitation I felt during the roles I'd previously auditioned for, so I got to portray him easily. Personally, from the beginning I was a person who gets tongue-tied easily, not the kind of cheerful, chatty person at all, so the shy parts of ourselves resemble each other. And since he's a former boxer, I tried to get into the mental state of an athlete, from his mindset to the way you'd expect him to move. Hamano: Did you go meditate under a waterfall or something (lol) Terashima-kun does things at his own pace, but he's a guy who's got stuff bottled up inside, like Takeru. Komatsu: During the drinking party of the first anime I'd starred in, the one who'd kindly talked to me, who didn't know his right from his left, was Terashima-san. Terashima: Actually, at that time, Hamano-kun was also there. Hamano: Ee, I didn't know that! Terashima: That we'd have ended up in the same unit in the future seems awfully fated, doesn't it. Komatsu: Ren, the former martial artist, has speech and conduct unbecoming of an idol, I think he lacks common sense, thinks of life as a game, seems to just have a big mouth but also has real strength to him, and I really, personally think he's an honest kid. He's a completely different type of guy from me, but I'm also quite a sore loser myself, so I think that's the part of him I understand. Hamano: Komatsu-kun is a diligent person, so without a doubt he doesn't like losing, does he.  Terashima: I've been wondering why everyone just lets Ren off the hook. But when Komatsu-kun voices him I think isn't that the charm of this brat, perfectly taking on Takeru like this (lol) Komatsu: Ren also has times when he encourages Takeru when he's feeling down, so I also think he's a cute brat sometimes, and there's a lot of mysterious things about him that I want to know about. Hamano: My first impression of Michiru was “Eh? He makes ramen!?” (lol) Terashima: He was a judoka before he became a ramen shop chef, wasn't he. Hamano: I'm harsh on myself, but I've been told that I deal with people kindly [like Michiru does]. He's tolerant, and is the kind of guy one would get hooked on like [they would] his “Otoko Michi Ramen”. Terashima: Hamano-kun's the same age as me and a year older than Komatsu-kun, but you wouldn't think that, because he's the calm one. Hamano: Nope, nope, that's just my voice. Komatsu: Within THE Kogadou, Michiru's always making them large, heavy [meals], so Takeru and Ren let him do whatever he wants. Hamano: You'd pretty much see it from the first time they talk, but Michiru doesn't see it as him being saddled with those two, they're his friends and good rivals so he thinks of them as equals. The team's bonds are strong. Komatsu: I think the fact that they mutually acknowledge each other is an important point about THE Kogadou. Terashima: It's not weird that they became friends; the part where they encourage each other is good. And it ends up in Michiru-san making ramen for them. Hamano: There's an image of “Settle this in one blow! And if you end up being defeated, get along [with the winner].” Terashima: THE Male Camaraderie, isn't it.

Komatsu-san has experience as a stunt man, doesn't he.

Komatsu: In a local show, I'd engaged in battle as a hero role. Terashima: He's the reliable action leader. Komatsu: Eeh. The three of us are leaders in our own ways. Terashima: With [our own] specialties? I'm always smiling, so I wonder if I'm the smile leader. Hamano: All that I can do is at about the amount needed for rugby, yanno. Komatsu: Action, smile, rugby leader... Hamano: That last one has nothing to do with being an idol! Komatsu: Baritone leader, then!

Give us a bit about your unit songs.

Hamano: I wonder how (lol) One song is up-tempo and pitched like rock music, and within the various kinds of tones, the image of three people diligently striving with the music joins in. Terashima: You'd feel their relationship in the lyrics “We're not so soft as to have pity on those fallen brats”. They're aiming for the top together, so they think, “wouldn't we be infallible, then?” Hamano: It reminds you a bit of those nostalgic shounen manga and passionate battle anime series, doesn't it. Terashima: Like a tiger's aura would emerge from behind 'em. As for the second song, it feels like what one might expect from an idol song of yore. Hamano: THE Kogadou's music is somehow nostalgic, isn't it. Komatsu: There's some kind of dialogue-like bargaining, and it colors this with passion. If one were to dance to this while singing it would definitely be cool.

Was there anything you kept in mind while singing DRIVE A LIVE?

Komatsu: Ren is the type who doesn't wait for what the other party would say, so I sung as if he kept finishing his sentences [quickly]. Terashima: For me, more than singing well, I thought it'd be better if I took great care with [portraying] Takeru's stoic, awkward parts. Hamano: With Michiru, it feels as if he's throwing out power with all his might, so he sings earnestly. He's the kind who'd say “let's do this over again!”, trying again no matter how many times, treating [singing] as a sport.

Your unit is under 315 Productions, so what are the “best” moments of everyday life for you?

Terashima: The moment when you and your costars make a toast at a cast party for work. I wanna taste that for THE Kogadou soon! Komatsu: I've just entered this world [of seiyuu], and thanks to SideM, I've had lots of new encounters and I think that's the best part of it.  Hamano: Within SideM, there are members close to me in age, as well as friends I've known for a while, and within this industry, I think [working with] people the same age as you is exciting, and the fact that we're all able to do our best together as part of the same production is the best!

Passionate, aren't we. The three of you, what kinds of things would you want to make?

Komatsu: I want to try hosting a radio show. Hamano: It would be good to call out the other manly guys and make a radio show with a rowdy feel to it. Terashima: I want us to become the kind of unit that even outsiders talk about, like “There's some kind of unit called THE Kogadou or something,” Hamano: As we get to do new things one by one, the potential that one of those might be beneficial to us in the future increases. If we keep on aiming for the highest point, as the days pass, we'll get to reach even higher up. Komatsu: [Ren voice] “You guys, let's go at it together 'til we reach the top!” Hamano: Ooh!!! Komatsu-kun, your face is all red though (lol) Komatsu: I'm still so lost as to if it's alright to call everyone “you guys”...but, if it's during a live, I'll hype everyone up fast! Terashima: I'll also enjoy lives in Takeru's way - I'll lock eyes with you all one after another! Hamano: When we'd get to spar with you, Teacher, forget everything else in the face of Michiru's resilience and have fun with us during our live!

(Left) Hamano Daiki／Born March 30／Hometown: Tokyo／Arts Vision／Known roles are Dante Mogro (Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans), Gohonmatsu Masaru (ACTORS), etc.

(Middle) Terashima Junta／Born August 11／Hometown: Nagano／Kenyuu Office／Known roles are Ichijou Shin (KING OF PRISM by PrettyRhythm), Yukimura Hyouga (Inazuma Eleven GO), etc.

(Right) Komatsu Shohei／Born April 14／Hometown: Fukuoka／Ken Productions／Known roles in My Hero Academia, Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress, etc.

Omake: Talk theme: 60

Komatsu: Every night before I go to sleep, I train for 60 minutes. I can't miss out on at least flexibility and weight training. Terashima: You're way too conscious about that! I can't lose to Komatsu-kun: every night, I eat pudding. I'd like to eat around 60 of 'em! Hamano: If you [Terashima] wanna discipline yourself like Takeru, first off, stop doing that (lol) I think that if I got more than 60 jobs in a month, I'd be happy.

my translation index

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The siren song of “Kogadou photoshoot and joint interview” was way too strong, so I ended up buying the magazine (I am a bad influence to myself) - all text and pictures in here are from my copy of Voice Newtype 60! I ended up translating it to practice reading Japanese but ended up using my phone camera to take pics of kanji so I can zoom in on them more LMAO

I have. Really. REALLY bad eyesight...

Please don't redistribute or otherwise reuse this translation, and/or its attached media (pictures)!

Speaking of pictures - yes! This is the article I get both my current Tumblr and Twitter headers from!

I wanna cry - in Daiki's "And if you get defeated, get along" line, there's the phrase 寝転んで, which is the te form of 寝転ぶ, "nekorobu". Daiki hosts a cat cafe show named "Nekorobi Danshi". Junta has guested in it. I'm,

The second question refers to Shohei's time as part of HIROZ, an action/stunt/idol group that used to do daily hero shows for a local theme park. For this alone, he arguably has the most experience with lives amongst the newer seiyuu.

[Junta voice, Cho Ongakusai 2017] "I'm here for NicoNico [Douga's event], but even in daily living I'm always niconico {grinning}"

Daiki used to play rugby! He's the sporty one of the three (Shohei is plenty athletic but bad with ball games, and Junta is...Junta) and tends to invite the other two out to play games with him.

The first song they refer to ("we're not so soft as to have pity on those fallen brats") is Tsuyoku Totoki Kemono-tachi (Strong, Noble Beasts); the second song (with "dialogue-like bargaining") is Jounetsu (Passionate)...FIGHTER.

The dialogue in question:

Ren (Shohei): I want to be strong, stronger than just about anyone! And I'll only knock you dead...

Michiru(Daiki): Now, now, calm down!

AND THE BEST THING IS THAT MICHIRU'S "Now, now, calm down!" IS ACTUALLY THE HIGHEST KEY HE SINGS.

Their characters' company name is a pun - in Japanese you can pronounce 315 as "sa-i-kou", "the best", hence that question "what are the 'best' moments"

The specific word Junta uses for "cast party" can either be used for a party before the start or after the end of a project. I am assuming he means 'after Kogadou release event is done', but he could also mean 'before Kogadou's major debut'.

Talk about self-fulfilling prophecy - this magazine was originally released June 2016. Come January 2017, the three of them co-hosted 315Pro Night, Side M's radio show, for the first quarter of 2017. Junta's cohosted radio before, this is Daiki's second radio as co-host (the first one being Voyage Wave), and also Shohei's first time co-hosting a radio show.

"You guys" doesn't have the same pizzazz as Ren's "omaera!!" but we'll have to make do...

"I'll lock eyes with you all one after another" - Per the in-game manga, some fans in-story have noticed that Takeru tends to look everyone in the audience straight in the eyes - he became an idol in the hopes of being found by his siblings, and thus always looks for them in a crowd.

What I translated in Daiki's last line from the main interview as "Teacher" is 師匠 ("Shishou"), a respectful term for a martial arts teacher, usually, more specifically, a judo teacher! Not surprising, considering Michiru's judo background. Michiru only refers to the player's producer character with this, and Daiki follows suit, only ever referring to Side M fans as 師匠 as well.

If you've noticed something with their cast profiles at the very end - yes, Ren is actually Shohei's first named character role, hence why his bit, at the time the interview was printed, only has series titles listed. (Shh I am not emo)

Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!