#throwin a couple axes with the boys

[pattimalaise]

📍The Axe Hole — Orange Beach, Alabama

[foreverandalwayshttyd]

HTTYD to me

Hey httyd fandom!! I’m leaving tumblr for a long while, for a whole bunch of stuff not just spoilers, (even tho idc i love spoilers so much hehe). So here’s my httyd to me @hello-em75!! I’ll probably be back after httyd 3 releases for me, idk. My account will be up for one more week if ya wanna talk (I’m doing a couple of appreciation posts before i go) Soooo enjoy my httyd appreciation rant lol.

Oh boy....here we go.

Ok sooo my httyd story is actually all over the place cause.....i watched everything backwards XD

Don’t ask me why, cause idk honestly. I do things differently lol.

But, 2015 i think?? Yeah let’s go with that. My brother had gotten httyd 2 for his birthday on dvd and i had no clue what this movie was.

We watched it as a family and i was SHOOK. I didn’t know animation could be that convincing, storytelling could be that creative, and characters could be so relatable and lovable. I absolutely loved everything about it. (Also, when stoick died i started crying. And i never cry in movies. It was that emotional)

So, of course, i had to know more. One day i see on the screen of my brothers iPad astrid and Heather axe throwin and boy talkin. Yup, first scene of rtte i ever saw. Watched up to season 3 (cuz those were the only seasons out) and was very confused on why hiccup and Astrid weren’t together and snotlout was hitting on her (cuz I️ hadn’t have seen the first movie yet oof lol) finished the rest *cough* binged it all in one night *cough* and cried when it was over, rtte was so special to me.

Watched the first movie, and just.....this movie hit me hard. So many lessons were portrayed brilliantly in it, and the twins literally made me roll over in laughter.

But the one character that stuck out to me most was astrid. Talk about character development. She was so edgy and just wouldn’t open up to anyone. Obviously i could tell she viewed hiccup differently than everyone else which I️ loved. But my favorite part was watching her go from this edgy goth girl, to this sweet, light hearted, fierce girl throughout the series. HICCUP AND ASTRID ARE THE CUTEST COUPLE EVER. MY FOREVER OTP IF THEY DONT GET MARRIED IN HTTYD 3 IM SUEING DREAMWORKS *sorry sorry, back to the gushy stuff*

And then there’s my boys. My sons. Hiccup and Toothless. These two stole my heart. They’re relationship is so special because toothless cant talk to hiccup which means hiccup can literally tell him anything because toothless can’t expose him😂 (I️ need a toothless). They’re so playful, supportive, and care about each other so much. They are both strong leaders, and lift each other up so much. Whenever they’re on screen together they make me smile:)))) My boys sure do know how to lighten up my day.

Overall, this series has been such an impact on me, and it will forever be in my heart. These characters are so real and I’ve enjoyed watching them all grow up over the past years. They’ll forever be my favs❤️

Going to see them one final time in February will absolutely break my heart, but also bring so much joy. They’re finally getting the epic conclusion they deserve (even if it means hiccup and toothless leaving each other WHY DW?!?!) But just a huge thank you to the producers, Dean, John Powell, and the amazing cast for putting on such amazing films through the past decade. It was a good one.

It will take awhile for me to get over this series being over. But let’s celebrate this awesome series!!! Forever and always in my heart httyd❤️

[the-short-stouts-tavern]

Dweit & Pals: Holly-er than Thou Part 2

“So you’re telling me that you were once married...to her?” Ace asked.

“That’s the gist of what I’m sayin’, yea.” Dweit replied.

“No offense, Bossman,” Tendorel began, standing up from the table. “But you don’t really seem the lovey-dovey type.”

“Hah!” Dweit spat at the ground. “Holly there ain’t someone you CAN lovey or dovey. She’s a bitch in every sense of the word.” The goblin moved his hand to the brim of his hat, tipping it upward to see his two subordinates in the eyes. His eyes were unnaturally intense.

“I....take it the breakup didn’t go well?” Ace spoke carefully, watching her boss as if she had never actually known him.

“Oh, no, it was mutual.” Dweit smirked. “Most people don’t know about this lil’ fact, so allow me to help you comprehend. The Trade Princes passed a ruling a few decades back, see.” He moved his hand to his nose, scratching it after a sniff in the air. “Inheritance an’ divorce don’t work the same way as, say, humie or elven society.”

He looked over at a couple of young goblin mages, a female remarking at the way the male’s coin purse swung heavy in the wind or something along those lines. “See those two?”

The two elves nodded, watching the two strangers.

“See, goblins ain’t nothin’ without cash, an’ for a while, goblins had the same kinda inheritance rules as yours.” Dweit began, as the two goblins chuckled at each other. “Ya die, ya money gets sent to ya loved ones, aside from a heavy taxation as is natural. Death, taxes, an’ all that. Turns out, though, that money was enough for some couples ta go ‘Hey, I don’t wanna be with this putz anymore.’ The feelin’ becomes mutual an’ it becomes domestic bomb-throwin’ and poison sales goin’ through the roof.”

“Ah, so it’s like you’re overthrowing a kingdom by murdering a king.” Tendorel pondered aloud.

“Yeah, but the ‘kingdom’ is a nice condo surrounded by rich oil pools an’ a buncha big bags of cash.” Dweit replied. “Anyway, the Trade Princes noticed that their capital gains were losing fast, since even with taxation, money ain’t comin’ in. So they changed it. If a goblin dies, their money is owned by their corresponding trade prince. So in mine an’ Holly’s case, that’d be...”

He motioned to the two elves, grasping in the air lightly, then waving it towards himself, as if he were wanting them to answer him.

“Gallywix.” The two elves replied slowly, unfortunately giving him what he wants.

“Yeeeeup. Quite a scheme, if I do say so myself.” Dweit smirked. “However, the Trade Princes ain’t as smart as some of us poor underlings. The rules stipulate that their possessions an’ things on their estate becomes the property of their respective prince, but that got nothin’ on things outside-a their estate. We call it the ‘Buried Treasure’ clause, which the princes can’t do anything about.”

The goblin nodded towards the couple again. “That guy has a tiny build but charisma, so probably has a trove of cash in a cave somewhere, probably with assistance of some poor mook who is now forced to comply. The girl, she has muscle and looks ‘worldly’. I’m thinkin’ her claim is on a mountaintop. Maybe even Pandaria now that they’re around. Anyway, they both have treasure somewhere, but they don’t know where the other’s is.”

“So you prevent attempts at each other’s lives by keeping a bunch of secrets?” Ace considered, tilting her head. “Sounds like a marriage.”

She moved her hand up to receive Tendorel’s high-five, which he was already in the process of giving.

After that sweet high-five, Tendorel looked thoughtful. “So...in terms of divorce...”

“Oh yeah, it’s just like normal humie culture at that point. If you don’t like each other anymore, ya break it off. Holly an’ I broke it off because she’s a straight-up bitch....”

“So anyway, Dweit an’ me, we broke it off because he’s a straight-up weasel of a goblin, tha worst kindsa goblins, get me?”

Holly rocked herself gently in Denarye’s arms, her arm draped over the demon hunter’s shoulder as he flew above the streets.

“Hnn...” Denarye grunted.

“Right? Worst kinda goblin. Normal goblins are shrewd, conniving, but Dweit?  Just the worst kinda bastid. An’ don’t get me started on his old assistant. Paradin’ around in her short-cuffed shirt actin’ like she was gonna steal him from me for his money. Pff...whadda bitch. Went an’ chopped her head clean off. Stupid girl had her money in her own backyard, can ya believe that?”

“Hnnnnn...”

“And after killin’ MY first assistant an’ threatenin’ Sassy after, I decided ta break off with the crazy.”

Ace’s eyebrow twitched. “Wait, she murdered someone?”

“Oh yeah. Even took the money from her estate.” Dweit replied, nodding. “Still can’t believe she hid her money in the backyard like a putz, may she rest in peace.”

“I’ll never get over how your people tend to gloss over murder.” Tendorel commented, resting his hand on his sword hilt as he stood leaning.

“Hey, sappers are some a’ our greatest workers. They blow up for a livin’. Kinda.” Dweit smirked. “Regardless, I decided to break it off with her. She took it as well as ya would expect.”

“Ohhhhh, I never spun my axe around the room faster than that day. I almost cut off all of his limbs an’ boy was it a relief after the rage went down.” Holly giggled softly, enjoying the wind in her face. “Have you ever gone into a blood rage for someone?”

....

“If you don’t talk, then how the hell am I supposed to enjoy your company, huuuh?” Holly smiled, leaning her head up to the elf’s face. “It’s not nice to leave a girl with questions.”

Denarye’s teeth began to show as he grunted out a sigh. “....Lord Illidan was my source for passion. My call for the skewering of demonic filth was for his benefit. His own pleasure.”

“...hehehe...” Holly giggled. “Oh, Denny...I want you to look at me like you do Illidan.”

“That is unlikely for multiple reasons.”

“So where’s the treasure?” Tendorel asked, leaning forward.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Dweit stepped back, waving his finger at him. “Can’t tell you two clods that! Then you would kill me in my sleep!”

“As tempting as that can be sometimes...” Ace sighed. “It’s not likely we’d do that.”

“Nope, nope, nope.” Dweit shook his head. “That’s the whole point of the law. If you two knew, then that’s someone else who has the knowledge! If Holly found out, she’d be a-okay with chopping off my head! Then she’d be harrassin’ yous until one or both of you die.” He smiled, moving his finger to his scalp as he scratched it.

Ace narrowed her eyes as she watched her boss. She seemed to be studying him very closely.

She looked at the goblin couple, then at Tendorel, and then back at Dweit. After a few years of being around these two, she knew how they presented themselves. More importantly, she knew their nervous ticks.

“..........you’ve told someone already, haven’t you.”

“W-W-w-w-w-wha...WHAT?” Dweit gulped, then tackled Ace immediately, moving his hand to the priest’s mouth. “You moron! You don’t say stuff like that on the streets wit’ other goblins around!”

Ace’s eyes narrowed as her voice tried to sound out more, but was muffled from the goblin’s hand over her mouth.

“Sorry, Ace, can’t hear ya!” Dweit laughed jovially. “Can’t hear...silly things you’ve said!!” He said with a loud voice.

This brought more attention to them, which caused Tendorel to grab the two of them, mostly effortlessly, and walked away.

Soon after...

“....look...”

The trio of goofballs stood in an alleyway behind the market, away from prying ears. Ace was huffy, looking away with an annoyed look on her face.

“....yes...okay...maybe I have, in a heat of stress, mentioned a location to...like...one person.”

Tendorel nodded. “I see. That doesn’t sound like something you should have done!” He’s getting the goblin law down pat.

“Yes...AND...it’s something that cannot EVER be said in a way that Holly might hear, you get me?” Dweit stared at the two of them with intensity in his eyes. “If she finds out that someone else has the location of my gold, she won’t even wait to find out who knows it. She will kill me. And you two for protectin’ me.”

“That sounds possible, yeah.” Ace replied, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

“So who did you tell?” Tendorel asked.

“That’s....if I tell yous who knows, then that’s a higher risk of Holly findin’ out!”

“You just said she wouldn’t care about who, so long as she knows she can kill you and still know.” Tendorel replied. “Maybe we’ll need to know so we can protect them if you die.”

“She won’t need prot-....h...th...they won’t need protec-”

“She.” Tendorel replied, his face glowing as if he were in the middle of a high-stakes investigation.

“Oh for the love of...stop trying to be sleuthy, you jackass!” Dweit poked the warrior’s chest hard. “I’m not tellin’ you!”

“I’m just thinking we could take her.  Holly, I mean.” Tendorel said. “She can’t be that bad, right?”

Dweit shook his head. “No, Tender...she IS all that bad. In all my life of seein’ some crazy broads, she’s her own tier. She’s a deadly monster.”

“Pff...I took Saurfang’s cleave to the shield. I think I’ll be fine.” Tendorel said, smirking confidently. This seemed to upset Dweit moreso.

“Don’t be stupid, pal.” Dweit moved forward, poking him again. “The easiest way to stay alive is for us to forget this conversation ever happened.”

“Come on, Bossman.” Tendorel smiled. “I don’t think we have to worry. Now we know it’s a woman...”

“Tender, I am warning you...”

“Is it someone I’ve met before? I’ve seen you mingle with a looooot of girls.”

“Tender, I am going to shock you with a stray bolt of lightning if you don’t shut up right now.” Dweit was looking pissed.

“Hrm....I’m not sure...”

Dweit’s hands began to electrify as he showed Tendorel that he was, indeed, not playing around.

“Tendorel, it’s okay.” Ace smiled, scribbling in her notepad. She was standing beside them, making her usual notes. “Dweit can keep his secrets as long as he wants, no matter how thinly-veiled they are..”

“I mean...really, It’s not like it’s anyone else but Momma Dw-”

Ace was soundly interrupted by Dweit’s bolt of lightning, which shocked her and sent her back a couple of feet in the alley, landing on her butt with a thud.

“NO NO NO NO” He spoke repeatedly, panic struck in his voice. His hand was shaking.

“....”

“....”

“....”

The trio looked at each other, then the two elves looked right at Dweit, who moved his hand over his hat and over his eyes.

“Son of a bitch, Ace.”

“IT WASN’T THAT HARD, YOU IDIOT!” Ace spat out, tossing her book at Dweit’s head.

“Ohhh...yeah, I guess it is pretty easy to narrow down.” Tendorel nodded, frowning as he pondered.

“Uuuuuuuugh you guys are the worst.” Dweit replied, moving both of his hands onto his hat and lowering it even further down, below his eyes, to hide his shame.

TO BE CONTINUED