#through to the road at this point and no i couldn't keep up with her Tumblr posts
digestionmachine · 2 years ago
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snow mesa, colorado trail, july 2022
#the final stretch on my horrible starvation mode sprint to lake city#ive fucked up on food before but never like this and im never letting it happen again (lying)#i met a lady in the morning on the mesa and kind of hiked out with her and she offered me fritos but i was like no im just gonna see it#through to the road at this point and no i couldn't keep up with her#oh her name was pom pom!! and she had a son in like a phd program she told me abt his work but i cant remember.#anyways just for the record i had a lil afternoon meal and no dinner and then a little handful of trail mix for breakfast and then NOTHING#until the next morning where i had a single pack of lifesaving cold soaked quaker oatmeal. and i got to town that afternoon#and idk how that sounds to you but i honest to god felt like i got hit by a fucking truck#EVERYTHING hurt#the second morning i got out of breath just from packing up my tent#its the closest i have ever gotten to quitting a trail. there was a side trail i almost dipped out on that would have gotten me to town#sooner but long story short i thought it was gonna get me too far off schedule to finish on time#so i stuck it out!!! and im proud of that!!#i really cannot overstate the suffering my muscles were ripping up and eating themselves and i couldnt get enough AIR#THE TORTURES!!!!! BUT I HAD A BAG SALAD AND A PINT OF CHUNKY MONKEY BEN AND JERRY'S WHEN I GOT TO TOWN!!!!!#tag journal#trail posting#colorado trail#CT#oh you can see pom pom if you zoom in on the first pic. she was actually doing the whole CDT in sections#she told me a whole lot of drama abt her journey and some other girls she was hiking with#middle aged and old women dirtbags on long distance trails youre the coolest#i wanna be just like you when i grow up. freaks (honorific)
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simjaexy · 1 month ago
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𝘾𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨 𝙈𝙮 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 | 𝙇.𝙃.
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Pairing ⇀ Popular Bad Boy! Lee Heeseung x (F) Nerd! Reader
Synopsis ⇀ You were a nerd, always with your nose in a book, acing every test, and keeping a low profile. What comes as a normal life of yours soon takes a turn when your mom finally gets married to a man that you soon found out was Lee Heeseung dad, the school bad boy. Even though Heeseung doesn’t know you, he can’t help but want to corrupt you in every possible way. So what happens when new things start to unfold between you two that he’s never felt before with someone?
Genre ⇀ Smut, Angst
Warnings ⇀ MINORS DNI!!!, Cheating, Karina is Heeseung’s girlfriend, Cursing, Crying, Minor character death, Family issues (on Heeseungs side), Heeseung is mean and toxic to reader a lot of times, Partying, Drinking, Bullying, Jealousy, Kissing, Making out, Biting, Hickeys, Receiving (m&f), Blowjobs, Eating out, Dom! Heeseung x Sub! Reader, Name calling (nerd, princess, etc.), Grinding, Semi public sex, Overstimulation (f), Fingering, Jealous sex, Rough sex, Breeding kink
W.c ⇀ 12.4k (oops)
A/n ⇀ Hi guys :), this fic honestly was fun and long to make. I was gonna make it longer but since I’m making a Sunghoon fic soon Kndecided to just keep it simple (somewhat). If you guys want a request of another fic/drabble I would not mind at all! This fic is based off of this song so take a listen to it! None of these characters act like this in real life! Like, Comment, Reblog, etc.. Not proofread!
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Second marriages were a bitch. As much as you loved seeing your mom feeling happy again, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of something missing. Your Happiness. You wouldn’t say you were exactly happy when your mom sat you down at the dining table and saying she was getting married.
You remember how nervous she sounded, her fingers fidgeting in stress. You didn’t know you could make her feel that way over marriage. You’ve always been close to your dad until he died. It was a hard time coping, which is why you bury yourself with books and studies. You were called a nerd by other people though, but that’s not the whole point why you were moving.
Moving into a new house was supposed to be a fresh start for you and your mom. After years of living alone, your mom finally found happiness with a man you didn’t know at all, and their marriage meant a new family dynamic.
You weren’t sure if the mysterious man however had a kid. You were hoping he didn’t, it would mean less problems to you and babysitting when they go out. Only if you knew who would be the person that would be with you and your happy little life from that day on.
“Is he rich?” You asked your mom who was driving you guys to the house. You noticed she was less nervous now, but still had her fidgeting habit going on.
“I didn’t marry him because he is rich sweetie. I married him because I loved him.” You mom replied.
You shrugged your shoulders, “So he is rich.” You mumbled. Your mom didn’t say anything and continued driving with the music low. You didn’t mention anything else after that.
You and your mom drove through the winding roads, the scenery gradually changing from modest homes to grand estates. Your heart raced with anticipation and curiosity.
Once your mom finally came to a stop at a big house, your mouth went agape. The mansion loomed ahead, an architectural masterpiece that seemed to stretch endlessly. The sprawling gardens were meticulously maintained, with fountains and statues dotting the landscape. You couldn't help but gape at the sheer size and opulence of it all.
"Wow," You whispered, more to yourself than anyone else.
Your mom glanced over at you with a knowing smile, "Impressive, isn't it? Mr. Lee has done very well for himself."
As you pulled up to the grand entrance, you couldn’t help but think of the last name. Lee? It’s sounded somewhat familiar to you, but you couldn’t put a finger on it.
As you guys got out the car, Mr. Lee stepped out to greet you, his smile as warm and welcoming as ever, "Welcome! I hope the drive wasn't too tiring," He said. He went over to your mom and gave her a quick peck to the lips. You mentally gag at the way they were already being loved dovey.
He then went towards you, giving you a quick handshake that you appreciated before he ushered you both inside.
The interior was just as breathtaking as the exterior, with high ceilings, elegant chandeliers, and art pieces that looked like they belonged in a museum. You tried to take it all in, but it was almost too much.
“This place is amazing," you said, still in awe. He chuckled softly, a hint of pride in his eyes.
"I'm glad you like it. Come on, let me show you around." He insisted. As you followed him through the grand halls and lavish rooms, you couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed. It wasn’t something you were used too.
You were used to your cozy house that had a tiny garden on one side of your front yard, the claustrophobic hallway you used to run in when you were little. The small living room that only fitted up to five people. Thinking about your old house already felt nostalgic. Walking through this though, you didn’t know if you were gonna get used to it.
Mr. Lee finally came to a halt at the stairs and stared over at you, “The maid can show you your room. She knows where it’s at.”
You noticed a middle aged woman next to Mr. Lee smiling at you. You gave him a curt nod before following the maid upstairs. As you walked in the halls with the maid you couldn’t help but stare at the photos hung up.
You didn’t see any photos of a women or a kid anywhere with Mr. Lee, so maybe you really were gonna be the only child. Some part of that made you feel giddy. The maid finally stops at a door and opens it. You went inside in awe. Your room was beautiful to say the least.
The room was spacious, with high ceilings and large windows that let in streams of natural light. The walls were painted a soft pastel color, giving the room a serene and welcoming feel. A plush, king-sized bed sat in the center, adorned with fluffy pillows and a cozy duvet.
To one side of the room, there was a stylish desk with a comfortable chair, perfect for studying or writing. Shelves lined the walls, ready to be filled with your favorite books and trinkets. A beautiful vanity stood in one corner, complete with a large mirror and ample storage for all your beauty essentials.
The best part, however, was the view. Walking over to the windows, you pulled back the curtains and gasped. The room overlooked a stunning garden, filled with vibrant flowers and lush greenery. You could already imagine spending hours sitting by the window, enjoying the peaceful scenery.
You couldn't help but smile as you took it all in. This room was everything you had ever dreamed of and more. It was your own little sanctuary, a place where you could relax, unwind, and be yourself.
You turned to look over at the maid who was still smiling, “Beautiful isn’t it? It was my idea since I’m the only women in this house.” The maid chimed.
“It’s very beautiful. Thank you.” You responded. She gave you chuckle and a nod before slowly shutting the door, leaving you alone in the room.
As you started to unpack your belongings and make the room your own, you felt a sense of contentment wash over you. This was your new home, and you couldn't wait to create beautiful memories here.
The sun was setting when you finally finished unpacking a few boxes. You let out a sigh and wiped your sweat off your forehead. You checked the time and saw that it was almost time for you to head to sleep.
As you were about to move a box, you suddenly felt the random urge to use the restroom, “Now that I thought about it I haven’t you used the restroom all day.” You murmured to yourself. You opened your bedroom door and stepped out.
You wandered through the unfamiliar hallways of Mr. Lee’s mansion, trying to remember the directions he had given you to the bathroom. Every door looked the same, and you were starting to feel a bit lost.
Pushing open yet another door, you suddenly froze. There, in the middle of the room, stood a boy you knew all too well. Lee Heeseung, shirtless with only a towel wrapped around him. It seemed like he just got out of the shower since his hair was still wet. His eyes locked onto yours, and you felt your face heat up in embarrassment.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" You blurted out, quickly averting your gaze, "I was just looking for the bathroom.”
Heeseung's expression shifted to one of annoyance, "Do you always barge into rooms without knocking?" He snapped, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
"I-I didn't mean to," You stammered, feeling even more flustered. "I just got lost."
He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, making his muscles even more prominent, "Typical. Can't even follow simple directions from my dad."
You felt a mix of embarrassment and irritation at his rude comments, "Look, I said I was sorry. It was an accident. A-And your dad didn’t give me any directions!”
Heeseung scoffed, a scowl on his lips, "Whatever. Just get out of here."
You quickly backed out of the room, closing the door behind you. As you walked away, you couldn't help but feel a strange mix of emotions. Angry, embarrassed, upset, and flustered? You groaned as you entered your room again and slammed it shut. You plopped on your bed.
The thought suddenly came to you. Lee Heeseung owns this house too, and you don’t think he’s gonna be nice to you anytime soon. You sighed and rolled on your bed. You were just hoping tomorrow won’t go bad. And ignoring the fact that you still had to use the restroom.
The next morning, you groggily made your way down to the kitchen, still rubbing the sleep from your eyes. As you rounded the corner, you froze. There, standing by the kitchen island, was Heeseung, chatting casually with your mom and his dad. Your mom noticed you first and smiled warmly.
"Good morning, sweetie! Come here, I want you to meet someone," She said, beckoning you over. You walked over, feeling a bit nervous under Heeseung's gaze.
"This is Heeseung," Your mom introduced, "Mr. Lee son."
Heeseung smirked, looking you up and down. "Oh, so you're the one who lives here? I was wondering why the house felt so... ordinary."
You felt your face heat up with anger. He met you yesterday and now he’s gonna act like he doesn’t know you? The audacity! You forced a smile and replied, "Nice to meet you too, Heeseung."
Your mom looked between the two of you, clearly sensing the tension. "Well, I'm sure you'll get along just fine once you get to know each other," She said, trying to lighten the mood.
You shot Heeseung one last glare before turning on your heel and heading back to your room. You rather eat breakfast at school than in front of him.
You adjusted your glasses and gave yourself one last look in the mirror before grabbing your backpack. Today was going to be another long day at school, but you were ready for it. As you reached for the doorknob, the door swung open, and you found yourself face to face with Heeseung.
Heeseung leaned against the doorframe with a smirk playing on his lips, "Hey, nerd," He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
You sighed, already feeling the tension, "What do you want, Heeseung?"
He stepped closer, his eyes narrowing. "Just a little reminder," He said, his tone turning serious, "When we're at school, don't act like we live together. In fact, don't act like you even know me."
You felt a pang of hurt but masked it with a cool expression, "Don't worry, Heeseung. I have no intention of ruining your reputation."
Heeseung's smirk returned, "Good. Just keep to yourself, and we'll be fine."
With that, he stepped aside, letting you pass. You walked down the hallway, feeling a mix of emotions. Living with Heeseung was already challenging, but pretending like you didn't know each other at school was going to be even harder.
As you walked out the door, you couldn't help but wonder why he cared so much about what others thought. But one thing was clear: you were determined to survive this, no matter how difficult Heeseung made it.
Classes slowly came along, you hated how tired you already were. But one thing for sure is that it was the walking this morning. You had to walk to school while Heeseung just drove right past you with his expensive car, not even offering to ask if you wanted a ride to the same damn school.
When it finally came to lunch you decided to go to the library, a place where you could immerse yourself in books and escape the chaos of high school life.
You were hunched over a thick biology textbook, diligently taking notes when you heard the familiar sound of giggles and whispers. You tried to ignore it, but the voices grew louder until they were impossible to tune out.
"Look at her, always with her nose in a book," One of the girls sneered. "Does she think she’s better than us?"
You kept your eyes on your notes, hoping they would get bored and leave. But they didn’t.
"Hey, nerd," Another girl said, leaning over your table and blocking your view, "Do you even have a life outside of studying?"
You swallowed hard, trying to keep your composure, “I’m just trying to study. Can you please leave me alone?"
The girls laughed, and one of them snatched your notebook, “Oh, look at this! She’s taking notes like a good little student."
You reached out to grab your notebook back, but they held it out of reach, teasing you. Just then, you saw Heeseung walk past the library entrance. Your heart leaped with a strange mix of hope and anxiety. Surely, he would help you. After all, you shared a house, even if he pretended you didn’t exist at school.
"Heeseung!" you called out, your voice wavering slightly.
Heeseung paused for a moment, his eyes meeting yours. But instead of coming to your aid, he simply looked away and continued walking, as if you were invisible.
The girls burst into laughter again, "Even Heeseung doesn’t care about you. How pathetic."
You felt a lump form in your throat, but you refused to cry in front of them. Summoning all your strength, you snatched your notebook back and gathered your things, leaving the library as quickly as you could.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. You couldn’t focus in class, your mind replaying the humiliating scene over and over. When the final bell rang, you headed home, determined to confront Heeseung.
You found him in the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge. "Heeseung, we need to talk," You said, your voice firm.
He glanced at you, raising an eyebrow, “What’s up, nerd?"
You took a deep breath, "Why didn’t you help me today? You saw those girls making fun of me, and you just walked away."
Heeseung shrugged, closing the fridge door, "Not my problem."
Your frustration boiled over, "How can you say that? We live together, Heeseung. You could have at least said something to them."
Heeseung leaned against the counter, crossing his arms, "Look, what happens at school stays at school. I’m not your babysitter. Deal with your own problems."
You stared at him, disbelief and hurt washing over you, "Is that really how you feel? That I’m just a problem?"
Heeseung’s expression softened for a brief moment, but he quickly masked it with indifference, "Yeah, pretty much."
You felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall, "Fine. If that’s how it is, then don’t expect anything from me either."
With that, you turned and walked away, leaving Heeseung standing in the kitchen. As you retreated to your room, you couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal.
You had always known Heeseung was a popular person but also bad at the same time, for his rebellious nature, skipping classes, and getting into trouble, but you had hoped there was more to him. Today, he had shown you exactly who he was, and it hurt more than you wanted to admit.
You were glad tomorrow was the weekend which meant you can just sleep all the embarrassment away from today. You quickly changed and went right to sleep, not even bothering to take off your glasses.
The morning sunlight gently filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room. You stirred awake, feeling unusually refreshed. As you reached for your glasses, you noticed they were perfectly set on the nightstand. Confused, you distinctly remembered falling asleep with them on.
You slipped on your glasses and made your way downstairs, the aroma of breakfast guiding you. Entering the kitchen, you saw your mom chatting with Mr. Lee, but there was no sign of Heeseung.
“Good morning, sweetheart," Your mom greeted you with a smile.
“Morning, Mom," You replied, still puzzled, "Did you take off my glasses last night?"
She shook her head, looking just as confused, “No, I didn't. Maybe Heeseung did before he left with his friends?"
Your eyebrows furrowed more. Heeseung came into my room? You shook your head and gave your mom a tight smile. Whatever she was thinking had to be wrong. Not after what happened last night.
Your mom then got up and exscused herself to the restroom. You sat at the kitchen table, enjoying the breakfast your mom had prepared. Mr. Lee joined you, sipping his coffee and looking thoughtful.
"Did Heeseung ever get a chance to talk to you?" he asked casually.
You hesitated for a moment, the best you could do is lie after anything that’s happening between you, "No, we didn't have time to talk."
Heeseung's dad sighed, shaking his head. "That boy... He never wants to talk to anyone aside from me and his close friends. It's like he's in his own world sometimes."
Hearing this, you felt a pang of guilt for lying. You knew Heeseung was reserved, but it hurt seeing that his father noticed that too.
“I-I mean we say our hi’s and byes. We just don’t really have a full conversation.” You spoke.
His father nodded, “I’m just hoping you talk to him soon. I’m not trying to put any pressure on the two of you, but Heeseung has always done bad things after my divorce with my ex wife. He’d always go out doing bad stuff and getting in deep trouble. Then he’d go partying and drinking and come back home late. I feel like if you guys talked he’d understand on your side that it’s not just about messing up your life for the worse.”
You stared at him pitful. Maybe if you could try to talk to Heeseung about everything with his dad it could help, but then again it’s not your problem to fix.
“I understand where your coming from Mr. Lee. I’ll try to talk to Heeseung more often.” You smiled softly. Mr. Lee smiled back grateful. Your mom soon came back as you all continued eating your food.
The sun began setting when you decided to finally leave your room after studying for so long. You tiptoed downstairs and headed to the living room. There you saw Heeseung playing video games on the big TV yelling at his friends.
“Dude what the fuck? I said left dumbass!” He shouted. You rolled your eyes and went to the kitchen and grabbed a snack. You took a piece of candy bar and chewed on it while heading back upstairs while hearing Heeseung cuss out his friends.
You shut the door and grabbed your phone as you sat on your bed. You scrolled through social media for a while when all of a sudden your door slammed open. Your eyes widened when you saw Heeseung looking angrily at you.
His eyes widened when he saw you holding something, “Hey! Did you just steal my candy bar?"
You looked up, then looked down at the candy that was already almost gone. Feeling a bit guilty but also defiant, “I was hungry and it was just sitting there."
Heeseung frowned, clearly upset, "That was mine! I was saving it for later."
"I'm sorry, Heeseung. I didn't think you'd mind. I'll get you another one." You reasoned, but Heeseungs ant having any of it.
Before he was gonna rant, he suddenly stopped himself, “I don’t want another one.” He suddenly said.
Your eyebrows furrowed, “T-Then what do you want?” You stuttered. You mentally slapped yourself from how nervous you sounded. Heeseung didn’t say anything and suddenly walked to you, pushing you on your bed. You let out a gasp and stared up at him on top of you.
“Heeseung what are you-“
“Shut up.” He cut you off. You felt his breath on your face. You lay frozen underneath him, waiting for his next move. He took one of his hands and rubbed along your leg making you jolt.
“Hee-“
“I said shut up.” He snapped. You immediately shut your mouth. He then lowered his head on your neck. You felt his hot breath hitting your cold neck. Your eyes shot wide when you felt him lay a soft kiss on it.
“What if I wanna taste something sweeter?” He mumbled in your neck. You let out a whimper when he suddenly squeezed your leg tight. You shut your eyes closed when he finally lifted his head back up, staring right at you.
You waited, but nothing came. Instead you felt his weight get off of you making you slowly open your eyes. You saw him on the side of your bed, with his half eaten candy bar in his hand.
“Next time ask.” Was all he said before leaving your room, slamming it shut. You finally let go of the breath you were holding on to and held your chest.
What the fuck just happen.
After that incident you decided to stay in your room for the rest of the night. You didn’t wanna see Heeseung after what happened. You were deep into your late-night study session when a faint noise downstairs caught your attention.
Curious and a bit concerned, you quietly made your way down the stairs. The sight of Heeseung, dressed in his usual bad boy attire and slipping on his leather jacket, stopped you in your tracks.
"Heeseung, where are you going?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Heeseung glanced at you, his expression unreadable, "It's none of your business," He replied curtly.
You frowned, sensing something was off. "I know you're going to a party. You shouldn't go. What if your dad finds out?"
Heeseung scoffed, shaking his head, “I don't care what he thinks. I need to get out of here."
You stepped closer, your concern growing, "Please, Heeseung. It's not worth the trouble. You know how much your dad worries about you."
Heeseung paused, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment. For a second, you thought he might reconsider. But then he turned away, determination in his stride, "I'll deal with it," he muttered before heading out the door.
You stood there, feeling a mix of worry and helplessness, hoping that Heeseung would stay safe and that one day he might understand how much people cared about him.
You didn’t get how he turns so fast from you. The mix emotions he gives you that leaves you a mess. Has he always had that impact on someone? You went back upstairs deciding to just leave it alone. Besides, he’ll never listen to you.
After few hours of thinking and worrying for Heeseung you finally were able to go to sleep. The house was silent and dark, when you heard the creak of your bedroom door. Groggily, you opened your eyes to see Heeseung stumbling into your room. He reeked of alcohol, and his eyes were unfocused.
"Heeseung? What are you doing here?" You asked, sitting up in bed.
Without a word, he collapsed onto the bed beside you, his head resting on your pillow, "I just... I needed to see you," He slurred, his voice thick with alcohol.
You frowned, worried about his state, "You shouldn't be here. You need to sleep it off."
Heeseung ignored your concern, his eyes half-closed, "You know, you're always so... so smart. I wish I could be like you. Those fuckers.. don’t know what their talking about," He mumbled, his words tumbling out in a disjointed stream.
Before you could respond, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. Shocked, you froze for a moment before instinctively slapping him.
Heeseung pulled back, a hurt look in his eyes. "I... I'm sorry," he muttered, getting up and stumbling out of the room.
You sat there, your heart racing, trying to process what had just happened. You didn’t know what came over you to slap him. You then touch your lips. His faint soft lips printed on yours. It then hit you, he was your first kiss.
The next morning, you woke up feeling groggy and disoriented. The events of the previous night played on a loop in your mind, making it hard to focus on anything else. As you walked down the hallway, you saw Heeseung approaching from the other end. Your heart raced, and you felt a wave of panic wash over you.
Heeseung walked past you without a second glance, as if nothing had happened. Confused and hurt, you turned to confront him, "Heeseung, about last night..."
Heeseung stopped and looked at you, his expression blank, “What about last night?" he asked, genuinely puzzled.
“You- don’t you remember?" you said, your voice trembling slightly.
Heeseung frowned, shaking his head, "I don't remember anything from last night. I was pretty out of it."
His words felt like a punch to the gut. You had been so affected by what happened, but to him, it was just a forgotten moment in a drunken haze. Feeling a mix of frustration and sadness, you walked away to the restroom, trying to push the memory to the back of your mind.
How could he forget that? Now you're the only one to remember the mess he had made. You did your usual in the bathroom and came out. You didn’t Heeseung anywhere and went back to your room. Maybe going on a walk would be fine to clear the head. As you finished getting dressed, you opened your door and headed downstairs.
You didn’t noticed Heeseung anywhere and put on your shoes before heading out the door. As you stepped outside, you saw him playing basketball in the driveway.
Heeseung glanced up, noticing you, "Where are you going?" he asked, pausing his game.
"For a walk," You replied, trying to keep your voice steady.
He simply nodded and went back to his game, the sound of the ball bouncing echoing in the quiet morning. You continued walking, but your mind kept drifting back to the way he had kissed you. The memory was vivid, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't shake it off.
Each step you took seemed to bring back a fragment of that moment, making it harder to move on. You felt a pang of longing mixed with the hurt of knowing he didn't remember. The walk, meant to be a distraction, only made you more aware of the emotions you were trying to escape.
You came back a few minutes later, it was just a walk around the neighborhood anyways. Heeseung was still playing, not paying any mind to you. You walked past him and went inside. You decided to do your studies in the kitchen.
You went upstairs to grab your essentials before coming back down and sitting at the kitchen table, buried in a pile of homework. Heeseung soon came inside and sauntered in the kitchen. He grabbed an apple, and sat across from you. He watched you intently, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
"Why do you always have your head in a book? Don't you ever do anything fun?" he asked, taking a bite of the apple.
"Studying is fun for me," you replied curtly, not looking up.
Heeseung laughed, "You really are something else."
You rolled your eyes, “At least I don’t go out partying and getting drunk and coming back and doing the unthinkable.”
Heeseung stopped chewing and stared at you with an unreadable expression. It was silent for a few minutes and that’s when you were gonna apologize but he beat you to it.
“Did I bring my girlfriend over yesterday?” He whispered. You paused and looked at him. He has a girlfriend? You felt your mouth go completely dry.
Heeseung has a girlfriend. When the hell did he had a girlfriend? That’s when it finally came to you. Heeseung has a girlfriend, and he kissed you. Heeseung noticed your shocked face and waved his hand in front of your face, “Nerd? You there?” He said.
“Y-You have a girlfriend?” You questioned.
Heeseung frowned before nodding, “Haven’t told my dad though since he would freak out, but now that I’ve brung her over it’s fine.”
He thinks he brung her over last night. He really doesn’t remember anything, you thought.
“No you didn’t bring her over Heeseung, “ You didn’t know if it was even okay to say anything at this point, “I-I was talking about what you did with me-“
“Y/n sweetie were heading out can you lock the door?” You mom yells from the living room. You gasped, completely forgetting that your mom and Mr. Lee were even home.
“Coming!” You yelled back. You ignored Heeseungs look and went to your mom in the living room. She kissed your cheek before shutting the door. You locked it and headed back to the kitchen.
You noticed Heesueng looked deep in thought. You slowly walked over to him, “Heeseung-“
"Forget about last night," He said abruptly, his voice lacking its usual edge.
You blinked, taken aback, "What do you mean?"
Heeseung's eyes shifted away from yours, "Just forget it happened," he repeated, more firmly this time. Without waiting for a response, he got up from his seat and walked away, leaving you alone with a whirlwind of emotions.
You decided to shake it off and bury yourself in your homework, but his words kept coming back. Each time you tried to focus on a math problem or a history chapter, your mind wandered back to the way he said it so causally. It was impossible to concentrate, and your frustration grew with each passing minute.
As night fell, you heard the familiar sound of Heeseung's laughter outside. You looked out the window and saw him heading out with his friends, the streetlights casting long shadows on the pavement. You didn’t even hear him leave. The sight of him leaving made your heart sink. A mix of anger and sadness welled up inside you, he really doesn’t learn.
The next morning, something felt off. You woke up and immediately went to Heeseungs room. You knocked on the door about five times before opening it, that’s when you noticed that Heeseung's bed was untouched. Panic started to creep in as you realized he hadn't come home. You tried to rationalize it, telling yourself that he might have crashed at a friend's place. But the nagging worry wouldn't go away.
As you made your way downstairs, you were greeted by Mr. Lee. His eyes were filled with concern, and you could tell he had noticed Heeseung's absence as well. "Did Heeseung mention anything to you last night? He didn’t come home last night or today." he asked, his voice tinged with worry.
You hesitated for a moment, your mind racing. You knew you should tell him the truth, that Heeseung had gone out and hadn't come back. But something held you back. Maybe it was a sense of loyalty to Heeseung you didn’t know of, or perhaps a fear of getting him into trouble, "No, nothing happened," You lied, forcing a smile, “He probably just stayed over at a friend's place."
Heeseung's dad didn't look convinced, but he nodded, seemingly accepting your explanation. You quickly grabbed your bag and headed out the door, eager to escape the tense atmosphere.
School felt like a blur. You couldn't focus on your classes, your mind constantly drifting back to Heeseung. You scanned the hallways, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, but he was nowhere in sight. Each passing hour only intensified your worry.
By lunchtime, you were a bundle of nerves. You sat alone at your usual spot in the cafeteria, poking at your food without any real appetite. The absence of Heeseung was worrying you like crazy, and you couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.
As the day dragged on, you found yourself checking your phone repeatedly, hoping for a message or a call from him. But there was nothing. The silence was deafening, and the worry gnawed at you like a relentless beast.
You knew you had to find him, to make sure he was okay. But where to start? Heeseung was a master at keeping his whereabouts a mystery, and you had no idea where he could be. The uncertainty was suffocating, and you felt utterly helpless.
As you walked home that evening, the weight of the situation settled heavily on your shoulders. You couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened, something that had kept Heeseung from coming home.
Heeseung finally stumbled through the front door late at night, his usual nonchalant demeanor firmly in place. You had been sitting on the couch, unable to focus on anything but the worry gnawing at your insides. The moment you saw him, relief flooded through you, but it was quickly replaced by a mix of frustration and concern.
"Heeseung, where have you been?" You asked, your voice trembling slightly.
He shrugged, kicking off his shoes and heading towards the stairs, "Out with friends. I'm going to bed," He said casually.
Before he could take another step, Mr. Lee appeared, blocking his path. "Heeseung, we need to talk," Mr. Lee said sternly.
Heeseung rolled his eyes, "Not now, Dad. I'm tired."
But his dad wasn't having it, "No, we're talking now. You can't just come and go as you please without any explanation."
The tension in the room was palpable as the argument escalated, “And who are you to stop me?” Heeseung snapped. You gasped at the way Heeseung said that to Me. Lee.
Me. Lee let out a deep breath through his nose, “I am your father Heeseung.”
Heeseung scoffed, “You lost that status the second you told mom you wanted a divorce.”
Everything else just felt faint to you. Voices were raised, accusations were thrown, and you could see the hurt and anger in Heeseung's eyes. Finally, he stormed off to his room, slamming the door behind him.
You hesitated for a moment, watching as Mr. Lee went to sit on the kitchen table. You decided to follow Heesueng. You found him sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. Without a word, you sat down next to him and gently placed a hand on his back. Heeseung looked up, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking.
You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a comforting embrace, “It's okay, Heeseung. I'm here for you," you murmured.
Heeseung finally let the tears fall, his body shaking with silent sobs. You held him close, offering what comfort you could. Gradually, the tension began to ease, and the exhaustion of the day caught up with both of you.
Eventually, you both lay down on his bed, still holding each other. As the night wore on, the steady rhythm of his breathing lulled you into a peaceful sleep, the worries of the day fading away in the warmth of both of your presence.
The next morning, you woke up early, the events of the previous night still fresh in your mind. You got ready for school, the house unusually quiet. As you walked into the kitchen, you were surprised to see Mr. Lee and your mom sitting at the table, sipping coffee and chatting.
"Good morning," you greeted them, trying to keep your voice steady.
"Good morning, dear," your mom replied with a warm smile, "Heeseung's in the shower. He'll be out soon."
You nodded, feeling a mix of relief and apprehension. You quickly got dressed and gathered your things for school. Just as you were finishing up, Heeseung emerged from the bathroom, his hair still damp and a towel slung over his shoulders.
"Hey," he said, his voice softer than usual.
"Hey," you replied, trying to read his expression.
Heeseung hesitated for a moment before speaking again, "Do you want a ride to school?"
You blinked in surprise. Heeseung offering to drive you to school was unexpected, especially after the tense night before. "Uh, sure. That'd be great."
As you walked to his car, you couldn't help but notice how different he seemed. The usual edge in his demeanor was softened, and he seemed genuine. The ride to school was quiet, but it wasn't the uncomfortable silence you had feared. Instead, it felt comforting.
When you arrived at school, Heeseung turned to you, "Thanks for being there last night."
You smiled back, feeling a warmth spread through you. "Anytime, Heeseung. Anytime."
Students watched as you and Heeseung got out of his cars. Whispers and chatters were heard around you, but you didn’t seem to care. Heeseung walked you to your class and bid you goodbye.
You didn’t know why Heeseung decided to change like this, but at the same time you weren’t complaining.
The school day went by fast to you. You didn’t see Heeseung at lunch, but decided to ignore it. You stepped out of the school gates and saw Heeseung. He made eye contact with you. You slowly walked over to him confused.
“Are you waiting for someone?” You asked him. He nodded his head and tilted it.
“I was waiting for you.” He spoke. Your eyes widened.
“Me? Why?” You mumbled. It was more like a question to yourself than him.
“Cause I can? Come on I’m getting tired. Feels like I’ve been standing here for ages.” He said. You guilty got into the car.
The car ride was silent when you guys got back. You and Heeseung both got out of his car, shutting it with slam. As you were gonna go to the door Heeseung suddenly grabbed your wrist. Your eyebrows furrowed as you look at him.
"I need your help," he said, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "My dad owes me an apology, and I think you can help me get it."
You were taken aback. Was that why he was being nice to you? You didn’t know what to feel.
“Is that why you were nice to me today?” You mumbled, feeling somewhat offended.
Heeseung shook his head confused, “Of course not. I was being nice because of what you did yesterday. No one has ever done that before.”
You hummed in acknowledgment, you began to think that maybe, just maybe, Heeseung was more than his bad boy facade.
“Okay, I’ll help you.” You said. Heeseung gave you a sweet smile that made your feel some type of way. Nonetheless, you gave him a smile back.
Over the next few days, Heeseung's behavior changed. He started doing small, nice things for you—making you coffee in the morning, helping you with your chores, and even engaging in conversations about your interests.
You couldn’t help but notice how when he listened to you, he had a look in his eyes that made your heart race. How he listened to every last detail you’d tell about anything. How he makes comments about little things about you that you’ve never mentioned to him or anyone else. You felt like Heeseung was actually making a change towards you.
On the other hand, you gave out advice for him to follow to make his dad apologize, like suggesting he have an honest conversation about his feelings. Surprisingly, Heeseung took your advice to heart.
Finally, the day came when Heeseung confronted his dad about everything. It didn’t come as easy though.
“Heeseung, I want you to understand the importance of this family. I know we all don’t understand you the way your mom did, but I’m willing to make an effort to show you to see the good side of life.” Mr. Lee said. You noticed Heeseung was a lot calmer than the last time. While on your end, you were praying to god nothing breaks out into fits of anger.
“I know, I just couldn’t stop thinking about how our family used to be. I miss how we we used to be.” Heeseung whispered the last part under his death.
You watched how Mr. Lee's face went from upset to sad. You felt bad that you couldn’t step in and comfort. The moment those two words fell out, Mr. Lee lips, for the first time you saw a glimmer of vulnerability in Heeseung's eyes. They hugged and departed from each other. Mr. Lee gave you a knowing nod with you smiling back.
Heeseung looked over at you and gave you a small smile. That was the first time he ever smiled at you. You gave a him a big smile back with a thumbs up. Just as you thought everything will finally get better, you soon found out how wrong you were.
Later that night, Heeseung, having achieved his goal, didn't stick around to celebrate with you. Instead, he grabbed his jacket and headed out to a party, leaving you standing alone in the house, feeling used and betrayed.
You sat on the couch, staring at the door he had just walked out of, wondering if any of the kindness he had shown you was real or just a means to an end. The realization stung, but it also made you stronger.
Instead of letting him leave like that, your only thought was to follow him. You knew where he was going after hearing a phone call with his friend about a party that was happening later today. You grabbed your moms keys and left the house. You knew the address since you also overheard when his friend was on speaker.
You had never been to a party before, and tonight, you decided to see for yourself what drew him away so often. The party was at a house a few blocks away, already throbbing with loud music and laughter. You hesitated at the doorway, but your determination pushed you inside.
The atmosphere was overwhelming, a stark contrast to your usual quiet evenings. You scanned the room for Heeseung, hoping to catch a glimpse of him amidst the chaos.
As you navigated through the crowd, you accidentally bumped into someone. You groaned and looked up. Your eyes widened when you saw it was one of Heeseung's friends, Park Sunghoon. He was tall, with a smug smile that made you instantly freeze, "Hey, aren't you that nerd that was with Heeseung that one day? What are you doing here?" he questioned.
You straightened your posture, trying to muster some confidence, "It's none of your business why I'm here," you replied, your voice steady despite the knot in your stomach.
Sunghoon let out a deep chuckle before leaning on the wall. You weren’t gonna lie and say he didn’t look attractive doing that, “Right. None of my business. So did you just come here to get a quick fuck?”
You gasped at his sentence, “W-What? No! I-I was here just because I can!” You stuttered. Sunghoon smug smile never left when he suddenly leaned towards you. Both of your face close to each other.
“You know, if you ever wanna have fun, you know where I’m at. Heeseung doesn’t need to know.” Sunghoon whispered. Even though the music was booming loudly, you could still hear him from how close he was to you. His breath smelling like alcohol and somewhat of a minty smell.
Just as you were about to walk away, Heeseung suddenly appeared beside him. His eyes locked onto yours, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of recognition. But then, his expression turned cold.
“What are you doing Sunghoon?" He coolly asked, acting like you aren’t there. Sunghoon backed away from you and gave Heeseung a pat.
“Nothing man. Just talking to this nerd. You know her right?” Sunghoon teased. He knew the answer, but to your confusion he still asked.
Heeseung shrugged nonchalantly, "No idea who she is," he said, his voice devoid of any warmth. The words hit you like a punch to the gut.
Feeling a mix of embarrassment and hurt, you turned on your heel and pushed your way through the crowd, desperate to escape.
Thats when the tears stung your eyes as you made your way back to the apartment. The night air was cool against your flushed cheeks, but it did little to soothe the ache in your chest.
You reached your car, fumbling with the keys. You finally managed to unlock the door and slid into the driver's seat, resting your head on the steering wheel. The sound of the passenger door opening startled you. You looked up, eyes widening as Heeseung climbed in beside you.
"What are you doing?" You asked, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and confusion.
Heeseung leaned back in the seat, his expression unreadable, "Why were you at the party?" He asked, ignoring your question.
You looked away, not wanting to admit the truth, "I just wanted to see what it was like," You muttered.
Heeseung sighed, running a hand through his hair, "You don't belong in places like that," He said firmly, "Why didn't you just stay home?"
You clenched your fists, frustration boiling over, "Because I wanted to see you," You blurted out before you could stop yourself, "I wanted to understand why you always leave. How parties can make your worries disappear! Why you always switch out on me.” You voice cracking at the end.
Heeseung's eyes softened, and he reached out to gently cup your cheek, "You don't always need to know everything about me," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Before you could respond, Heeseung leaned in, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. Your heart raced as you melted into the kiss, feeling the barriers between your worlds begin to crumble. When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, a small smirk playing on his lips.
You suddenly remembered about his girlfriend and pushed him away, “Heeseung your girlfriend-“
“I don’t wanna think about her right now.” He said. You gulped hard. You knew what you did was wrong, but seeing Heeseung so calm made you relax a bit.
He then looked at you again, “Let's go home," He said softly. You slowly nodded and started the car, exiting the driveway and leaving the loud house. The car ride was silent, with Heeseung staring out the window.
You averted your gaze to him from time to time, however not saying anything. When you guys finally got back you got out the car and headed to the door. You unlocked it, letting yourself in before Heeseung came in.
Just as you were about to say something Heeseung suddenly pinned you on the door, “Heeseung what are you-“
He cut you off and kissed you harshly. You let out a gasp when he nibbled on your bottom lip. He then entered his tongue in your mouth. You squirmed feeling his hot tongue swirling with yours. It all felt too hot. You moaned when he roughly gripped your hips.
The thought of his girlfriend completely washed away when he broke the kiss with both of your salivas connecting at your lips. He didn’t waste a second, grabbing your wrist and taking you to his room. Heeseung's eyes glinted with mischief as he led you to his room, his grip firm yet oddly gentle.
It was the second time going to his room, this time with him with you. The contrast between his tough exterior and the care he took in guiding you made your heart race. As you stepped inside, you couldn't help but notice how surprisingly neat his room was.
Your eyes wandered over the shelves lined with books, some of which you recognized from your own collection. A small, framed photo of a younger Heeseung with a genuine smile caught your eye, and you felt a pang of curiosity about the story behind it. The room was filled with little details that contradicted his bad boy image – a neatly made bed, a few potted plants, and a desk organized with precision.
Heeseung caught you staring and smirked, "Surprised?" He asked, leaning casually against the doorframe. You nodded, unable to hide your amazement. "There's more to me than meets the eye," He said, his voice softer than you'd ever heard it before.
You sat on his bed with him still standing in front of you. He then leaned down and pecked your lips before going on top of you as you lay on the sheets. He started trailing kisses along your neck. You let out a quiet moan when you felt him starting to suck on your neck.
Heeseung grinned at your sensitivity and playfully bit your neck, making you squeak. You wrapped your arms instinctively around his neck. You mewled when you felt him grind on your cloth core. Everything felt too unreal to you.
“Fuck. I can practically feel your wetness.” He groaned. He took his hand and rubbed against your leg like the last time, but this time he slowly crept towards you core.
“H-Hee.” You whimpered. Hearing you already making a nickname for him made him hard. You let out a relief sigh when he finally rubbed against your heat. The pressure of pleasure floating in your body.
Heeseung bit his lip, suppressing a groan when he finally felt your wet shorts.
“Hee please.” You groaned. Heeseung smirked and stared at your facial expression. Mouth agape, eyes rolled back, hair messy, Heeseung knew he was gonna be a goner.
“What do you want princess?” He whispered. His voice husky and filled with lust. You felt yourself already creating a pool with the way he sounded.
“I-It feels weird Hee! Please do something.” You weakly stated. Something inside lit up in Heeseung hearing you say that.
A virgin is probably his most favorite thing when it comes to sex. He didn’t waste any time taking off your shorts. He let out a breath when he saw the wet patch on your underwear and lowered his body down.
Before you could ask what he was doing you suddenly felt a wet sensation on your underwear, “Oh god Heeseung!” You let out a cry and arched your back. Heeseung hummed and licked up and down on your slit. The feeling of pleasure was too much for you.
He stopped and looked up at you, “I wanna see you begging.” He breathed out. He slid off your underwear effortlessly revealing your glistening pussy. You tried covering yourself up but Heeseungs wasn’t having none of that. He pulled your legs apart roughly making you whine. You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. The way his hard stare was on you.
“If I would’ve know your pussy looked this good I would’ve fucked you sooner.” He said. Your eyes went wide. Now your cheeks were definitely a crimson red. He lowered once again and didn’t give you a chance to say anything before he dipped his tongue inside.
You gripped the sheets at his sudden urgency and let out a loud moan. You didn’t know if your guys parents were home, but it was too late now. He licked your folds up and down, swirling his tongue around your bud. You gripped his locks and wrapped your leg around his head.
“Hee! Oh fuck!” You squealed. He cursed in your pussy and finally dipped his tongue in your hole. You couldn’t control any of your moans anymore. The sound of slurping and moaning bounced around his room.
You felt a weird pit in your stomach and thrashed around, “H-Hee I think I’m gonna- ah!” You moaned and jerked forward. Your orgasm coming quickly and hard. Your mouth went agape as you let out hard breaths feeling Heeseung lick everything up.
You squeezed his locks, feeling overstimulated. You tapped his head weakly, “H-Heeseung no more.” You rasped out. Heeseung finally stopped and licked his lips. Your cum on his chin, his eyes hazy and unfocused.
“How am I gonna fit?” He asked you. Your eyes widened. Shit, he really wanted to have sex with you. You started stammering random words while Heeseung stared at you. If he was gonna fuck you, you have to enjoy it too.
He cut off your rant by kissing you again. You immediately kissed him back, not feeling his fingers near your hole. You let out a scream when you felt his finger slowly enter you.
“Shh it’s okay. It’ll hurt for a quick second.” He muttered. You tried to get used to it, however the pressure was too much.
“H-Heeseung I can’t! It hurts!” You sniffled. Heeseung pampered you with kisses, trying to distract you. You looked so pretty when you cry.
“I know princess. It’ll feel good. I promise.” He reasoned. You panted hard when you suddenly felt your hole slowly getting used to it. Soon enough you were a moaning mess all over again.
“Another one. P-Please.” You dictated. Heeseung grinned and added his other finger. You let out a moan in pleasure feeling his long thick fingers stretching you out.
You felt another orgasm coming again, but Heeseung took his fingers out making you whine. He ignored you, his grin never coming off his face.
He took off his shirt revealing his body. You bit your lip seeing his toned body. You felt something poking you and looked down. There was his hard dick poking out of his pants. You whimpered when he moved it towards your pussy.
“You like what you see?” He teased. You slowly nodded, unsure what to say at that moment. He chuckled at your cuteness and kissed your temple.
You reached your hand unsure if you could touch him. He didn’t seem to mind and leaned in more. You rubbed his cloth dick slowly causing him to hiss. You felt a sudden confidence coming over you and stroked his dick faster. At this point you were practically jerking him off and he seemed to like it, or even loved it.
He pulled away suddenly making you furrow your eyebrows, “Is something wrong?” You mumbled, your brain in a haze.
“I don’t wanna cum like this.” He said. You blushed when he started unbuckling his pants and taking off his pants and boxers at the same time. Your mouth went dry seeing his dick for the first time. It was big.
Is that even gonna fit?
He groaned when he touched it and stroked it slowly. You watched him stroke his dick slowly, blushing and panting. He looked down at you, “Are you ready?”
You impatiently nodded, making him chuckle darkly. He lined his dick at your entrance before slowly pushing in. You felt the air knock out your lungs and gripped him tightly on his arms. He moaned at your tightness. Your whimpers and sniffles made him want to go right at it and fuck you hard.
“Fuck, can I move now princess?” He hissed. You shut your eyes and slowly nodded. He started at a slow pace, watching your every expression to make sure you're not hurting anywhere. Once he sees your face turning from pain to pleasure he picked up his pace faster.
The sound of hard skin slapping heard in his room. You felt dizzy with pleasure with the way he pounded in your pussy, “Oh fuck.” You whimpered.
“Feel good princess?” He asked. You frantically nodded your head. He sighed feeling you clench around him.
“M’gonna cum Heeseung.” You panted out. Heeseung hummed and buried his face in your neck, the feeling making you ticklish. You felt your orgasm coming and scratched onto his back. You bit Heeseung neck feeling your orgasm hitting you. Heeseung let out a pained moan and came after you.
You both panted unevenly and hard. Heeseung slowly pulled out and fell right next to you. You stared up at the ceiling rethinking everything. You had sex with Lee Heeseung, the schools bad boy. The one who made you feel like you were worthless.
Your thoughts were cut off when you felt a strong arm wrap around you. You looked up at Heeseung and saw him also in thought. The silence was somewhat comforting while also heavy. Heeseung nuzzled against the top of your head and sighed.
You slowly felt your eyes get heavy feeling his warmth accompanying you into slumber.
Heeseung looked down when he suddenly heard little snores coming out of you. He stared at your lips and leaned down, giving them a soft peck. Besides, it was gonna be the last time he would feel them.
You woke up to the soft morning light filtering through the curtains, feeling disoriented. As you slowly sat up, you realized you were in an unfamiliar bed. Panic surged through you until you recognized the room – Heeseung's room. The events of last night hit you like a truck, but you distinctly remembered the heated moment that had led you here.
Looking around, you noticed Heeseung was nowhere in sight. Your heart pounded as you spotted a neatly folded note on the pillow beside you. With trembling hands, you picked it up and read:
Had to head to school early. See you there. - Heeseung.
You sighed, a mix of relief and frustration washing over you. Gathering your things, you quickly got ready and made your way to school, your mind racing with thoughts of what had transpired.
As you entered the school grounds, you spotted Heeseung almost immediately. He was leaning against a locker, surrounded by his usual group of friends, exuding his typical bad boy aura. His laughter echoed down the hallway, and you felt an inexplicable pang in your chest.
But what shocked you the most was the girl under his arms, giggling as she whispered something in his ear making him smile. You stood there watching the scene unfold. Your eyes met his for a fleeting moment. His expression shifted from amusement to something unreadable as he watched you.
Suddenly, the memories of last night came flooding back – the new side he shown you yesterday, the intimate moment you guys had together.
Feeling overwhelmed, you quickly looked away and walked past him, determined to ignore him. You could feel his gaze burning into your back, but you kept your head down, focusing on getting to your locker.
Throughout the day, you couldn't shake the feeling of Heeseung's eyes on you. Every time you glanced his way, he was watching, a mix of amusement and something else in his eyes. It was as if he was silently pleading for you to acknowledge him, but you couldn't bring yourself to face him.
During lunch, you found a quiet corner in the library to gather your thoughts. The events of last night played over and over in your mind. Heeseung had been so different – so real. But now, in the harsh light of day, it was easier to retreat behind your walls and pretend it hadn't happened.
As the final bell rang, you gathered your things and headed out, hoping to avoid any further encounters. But as you stepped outside, you saw Heeseung waiting by the gate, his expression serious.
"Nerd," he called out, his voice coming out more firm than usual, "We need to talk."
You hesitated, torn between your instinct to flee and the curiosity gnawing at you. Finally, you took a deep breath and walked over to him, bracing yourself for whatever came next.
“what do you wanna talk about?” You questioned, knowing full well what he wanted to talk about. He knew you weren’t stupid.
"Do you regret it?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
You took a deep breath, your heart pounding in your chest. You wanted to tell him that you didn’t and that you would do it again if you could. To tell him that you feel something for him that you’ve never felt with anyone else, but reality came to you that he still has a girlfriend, and that your parents are getting married soon, "Yes," You replied, your voice trembling, "I regret it."
Heeseung's face fell, and he looked away, running a hand through his hair, "I figured," He muttered, "I agree... I just needed to know from your point of you. No hard feelings?”
You nodded your head, holding your tears in, “Agreed.”
After that conversation, you made a conscious effort to avoid him. It wasn't easy, especially when you saw him with his girlfriend, laughing and holding hands. Each time, it felt like a knife to your heart, but you kept your distance, knowing it was for the best.
Despite your efforts, you couldn't help but notice the change in Heeseung. He seemed more distant, more withdrawn. His usual bravado was gone, replaced by a quiet facade that you couldn't ignore. He stopped speaking to you for once, walking right past you whenever you’d see him anywhere in the house. He wouldn’t add sarcastic comments towards your way anymore. He still went to parties and hang outs as usual, but he was a lot more aggressive than usual when he came home drunk.
Days turned into weeks, and you tried your best to avoid him. You buried yourself in your studies, hoping the memory would fade. But every time you saw Heeseung with his girlfriend, a pang of guilt and regret twisted in your chest.
Or when you would hang out with your mom and Mr. Lee it reminded you exactly why you’re there. Because they were getting married. How would they react when they would’ve found out there kids fucked each other? You didn’t wanna know.
It was like any other day with you reading in the living room. You were almost done with a chapter when you suddenly heard a knock at the door. You didn't think much of it until you heard voices—familiar voices. Curiosity got the better of you, and you opened the door revealing Heeseung's girlfriend, Karina, and his friends Sunghoon, Jake, and Jay.
"Hey, can we come in?" Jake asked, though it seemed more like a statement than a question. You nodded, stepping aside to let them in.
You heard footsteps coming downstairs and was greeted by Heeseung, “Baby!” Karina smiled and went to hug Heeseung. He hugged her back just as tightly.
“Hey baby, I didn’t know you were coming too.” Heeseung chuckled. Karina gave him a teasing smile in return.
“Well I haven’t seen you since yesterday so I decided to come over!” She chimed. Heeseung seemed to be ignoring you completely, his attention focused on his girlfriend.
You were cut off with your thoughts when Heeseungs friends all greeted you with a mix of politeness and indifference, but Sunghoon gave you a knowing smirk.
They made their way upstairs, laughing and chatting amongst themselves. Heeseung didn't even glance your way, and you felt a pang of something—was it disappointment? You shook it off, returning to the living room with your book.
A little while later, there was a knock on the wall. You looked up to see Sunghoon standing there, leaning casually against the wall like he did the last time at the party.
"Hey," He said, his voice smooth and friendly, "Got a minute?"
You didn’t like where this was going. You nodded, putting down your book, “What's up?"
"There's this party later tonight," Sunghoon began, stepping closer to the couch you were sitting at. "It's gonna be pretty cool. I was wondering if you'd like to come with us."
You blinked, taken aback. A party? You remembered the last time and gulped. You hesitated, unsure of how to respond.
"I don't know," you said finally, "Parties aren't really my thing, especially from last time.”
Sunghoon smiled, his eyes twinkling with mischief, "Come on, it'll be fun. You might even enjoy yourself."
You bit your lip, still uncertain, "I'll think about it.”
"Fair enough," Sunghoon said, giving you a nod, "Just let me know."
He left, and you were alone with your thoughts. A party? With Heeseung and his friends? It seemed like a bad idea, but a part of you was curious. What would it be like to step out of your comfort zone again, even just for one more night?
As the hours passed, you found yourself thinking more and more about Sunghoon's invitation. Finally, you made up your mind.
You rifled through your closet, looking for something to wear. You settled on an outfit that was a little out of the ordinary for you—something that made you feel confident and a bit daring.
When you were ready, you took a deep breath and headed downstairs. it seemed as if Sunghoon was waiting for you, his eyes widening in surprise and admiration when he saw you.
"Wow," He said, a grin spreading across his face, "You look amazing."
You felt a blush creep up your cheeks. "Thanks."
He offered you his arm, and you took it, feeling a strange mix of excitement and nervousness. As you walked out the door, you didn’t notice a certain someone watching the scene unfold in front him.
You decided to drive with Sunghoon since he insisted and made your way to the party.
The night was electric with the buzz of excitement as you stepped into the party, your heart pounding with a mix of anticipation and nerves. You adjusted your glasses and smoothed down your dress, feeling slightly out of place among the throngs of people. Sunghoon was by your side, his easy smile putting you at ease.
"Come on, let's dance," He said, taking your hand and leading you to the dance floor. The music was loud, the bass thumping through your body as you moved to the rhythm. Sunghoon's presence was comforting, his laughter infectious as he twirled you around.
As you danced, you couldn't help but notice Heeseung across the room. He was leaning against the wall, his arm draped around Karina’s shoulder. His eyes, however, were fixed on you and Sunghoon. There was a dark intensity in his gaze that sent shivers down your spine. You tried to ignore it, focusing on the fun you were having with Sunghoon.
But the more you danced, the more you felt Heeseung's eyes on you. It was unsettling, and you found yourself glancing his way more often than you intended. Karina seemed oblivious, chatting animatedly with her friends, but Heeseung's attention never wavered.
"Hey, you okay?" Sunghoon asked, noticing your distraction.
"Yeah, I'm fine," You lied, giving him a reassuring smile. "Just a bit hot in here."
"Let's get some air," He suggested, leading you outside to the patio. The cool night air was a welcome relief, and you took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart.
Sunghoon leaned against the railing, looking at you with concern, "You sure you're okay?"
You nodded, but your mind was elsewhere. You couldn't stop thinking about Heeseung. The way he looked at you, the way he seemed to be watching your every move. It was driving you crazy.
Before you knew it, you found yourself leaning in and kissing Sunghoon. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, a desperate attempt to get Heeseung out of your mind. Sunghoon was surprised but didn't pull away, his lips soft and warm against yours.
But the kiss didn't have the desired effect. Instead of forgetting about Heeseung, you felt his gaze burning into you even more intensely. You pulled away from Sunghoon, feeling a mix of guilt and confusion.
"Sorry," you mumbled, not sure what else to say.
Sunghoon looked at you with a mix of surprise and concern, "It's okay. Are you sure you're alright?"
Before you could answer, you felt a strong hand grab your arm. You turned to see Heeseung, his expression dark and angry, “We need to talk," he said, his voice low and dangerous.
He didn't give you a chance to respond, pulling you away from Sunghoon and into the house. You stumbled after him, your heart pounding in your chest. He led you upstairs to a quiet room, closing the door behind him.
"What the hell was that?" He demanded, his eyes blazing with anger.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, "What are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about," He said, stepping closer, “You and Sunghoon."
You looked away, unable to meet his intense gaze, "It's none of your business."
Heeseung grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him, "It is my business," he said, his voice low and dangerous, “You think you can just kiss him and I'll be okay with it?"
You felt a surge of defiance. "Why do you care? You have a girlfriend."
Heeseung's grip tightened, his eyes flashing with anger, “You think I care about her? The only reason I'm with her is because I can't have you."
His words took you by surprise, and you felt a mix of emotions swirling inside you. Anger, confusion, and something else you couldn't quite identify, "Then why didn't you ever say anything?"
Heeseung let go of your chin, running a hand through his hair in frustration, "Because I'm an idiot. All these fucking feelings I’ve been feeling pisses me off. Were too different for each other. Which is why I also thought you'd never be interested in someone like me."
You took a step back, trying to process everything, "And now?"
Heeseung looked at you, his expression softening, "Now I can't stand the thought of you with someone else."
You felt your resolve melting, the anger and confusion giving way to something else. You couldn’t hold it in anymore. Fuck it. "Then show me," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
Heeseung didn't need any more encouragement. He closed the distance between you, his lips crashing against yours with a desperate intensity. You melted into the kiss, all the pent-up emotions finally finding release.
You moaned into the kiss, letting his tongue entering your mouth. You didn’t know how much you missed this when he finally lay you on the bed. He didn’t waste time stripping off his clothes, still leaving you cloth. Before he could take your clothes off you stop him, “Wait a minute.”
Heeseung frowned. Did you wanted to stop already? He didn’t have time to think before you suddenly got up and kneel down. Oh shit. Heeseung stared at you in shock.
“Are you, doing what I think you’re doing?” He said, unsure if you were actually gonna do it. You nodded and bit your lip. His hard dick leaking precum. You slowly grabbed it and stroked it slow. Heeseung threw his head back feeling you squeeze around the tip and went faster.
“Shit! Wait.” He muttered. You ignored him and put the just the tip in your mouth. You hummed finally being able to taste him. Heeseung let out a drawn moan feeling your hot wet tongue.
He grabbed your head and gently pushed your head deeper down. You obliged obediently and went back and forth. You felt his dick tense slightly, letting it rest on your tongue.
“Ah hell. Why are you so good at this?” He questioned. You took his dick out your mouth and stroked it.
“Google.” You simply said. Heeseung couldn’t help but let out a breathy chuckle. You smiled and went back to sucking his dick. He soon felt his climax coming and made you deep throat him.
You gagged a little but recomposed yourself and let him use you. You moaned when you felt his hot spurts of cum going down your throat. You made sure you swallowed every last drop before letting go with a pop.
You got back up and kissed him. He sighed into the kiss and pushed you back on the bed. He helped you take off your clothes and kissed along your chest. You whimpered when you felt him suck on one of your breast while fondling with the other.
You grabbed his hand and lead it down to your wet pussy, he rubbed it in circular motion.
“Please Heeseung put it in now. I can’t wait.” You ranted. Heeseung chuckled and slowly lined his dick at your entrance. He rubbed his dick alongside your folds making you mewl.
He finally entered inside you making you both moan in unison. He didn’t wait a second to let you get used to his size and went full speed. You moaned uncontrollably, not being able to hold back. Heeseung kissed you to make you a bit quiet.
“You’re so tight princess. Fuck, gonna breed this pussy dry.” He moaned. You nodded your head, long gone to even cooperate what he was saying. He grabbed both your legs and pushed them against you shoulders, having better access to fuck your hole.
You let out a cry when he hit your spot and arched your back. Heeseung smirked, not stopping his brutal pace on you. You felt your orgasm coming and bit your finger to stop yourself from being loud. Your orgasm came out long and drawn while Heeseung watched you unfold.
He gave out a few more thrust before cumming deep inside you. You let out pants and watched Heeseung take out his dick. He got up from the bed to the restroom and came back with a wash cloth.
He wiped the both of you off and helped you get dress. As you guys finished you finally looked at him.
“Heeseung, what are we?” You finally asked. Heeseung stared at you before giving you a small smile.
“Whatever you want us to be.” He replied. You bit your lip uncertain. He still had a girlfriend.
“Your girlfriend. What about her-“
“I broke up with her. Right when I saw you and Sunghoon leave to the balcony I knew you were the one.” He admitted. You felt your heart swell up and smiled.
“Then I want us to be together then Hee.” You whispered. Heeseung nodded and cupped your face.
“Whatever you want princess.” He said before giving you a peck. You then went back downstairs to the party and walked towards the exit. Before you left you saw Sunghoon talking to one of his friends.
You both made brief eye contact, but what surprise you was when Sunghoon gave you a smile and wink. You quickly felt yourself smiling back at him and waving bye.
You went inside Heeseungs car and buckled your seatbelt. Heeseung started the car while having his other hand on yours. You didn’t know what you guys were gonna do when you get home, but you knew you will sort things out tomorrow.
For now, you’ll enjoy this moment with his comfort surrounding you. And the love that was finally growing that you guys held out for so long.
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eyesxxyou · 2 months ago
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sweet revenge
・・・l. howlett x fem!reader
rating. m
word count. 1.3k
synopsis. after catching your boyfriend cheating, you and his father, Logan, go on a road trip to confront him, though, you don't make it far
warnings. p-in-v, tummy bulging, cheating (but as payback), DILF Logan, car sex, van sex, sex with boyfriend's father, cunilingus, kinda rushed :((
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If someone told you you’d be trapped in a car with your neglectful boyfriend’s father for an entire weekend as you drive to meet him in Mexico a week ago, you would have stared at them blankly then told them that didn't sound so out of the ordinary for a life like yours.
It wasn't your idea, it was Logan's, your boyfriend's father. He insisted that you two would have to drive across the US together to confront your disgusting, cheating, asshole boyfriend who flew to Mexico to spend time with his mistress. He was almost as disgusted as you were, apologizing to you with explanations of how “he hadn't raised his boy like this”. How funny life is.
Logan, you always thought, was a good man. He had always been kind to you since you’ve known him, sometimes to the point where you thought he was flirting with you. Not that you minded, he was quite handsome, even for being in his 50s. With his salt and pepper beard and slight wrinkles that made him look mature and wise. You never minded his slight touches on your arm or your lower back but you never pursued the idea beyond a lingering thought.
“I’m slightly surprised you’re not crying.” Logan said about an hour into your ride together. You had been entirely silent, letting the radio play while you gazed longingly out of the window, your feet up on the dashboard. You rolled your head to the side to look at him. “I’m more angry than sad.” Or were you? You searched within the cavity of your chest for emotion and found nothing. You were so apathetic to the whole thing. Maybe it simply hasn't hit you yet, that your boyfriend of 3 years has been cheating on you for 2 of them with some girl he decided to vacation with in Mexico.
Logan stroked his fingers through his beard. “He’s a fucking idiot. His mother was a cheater too, I say he got it from her.” Your boyfriend was raised primarily by his mother after they had gotten divorced he had told you. He wasn't actually all that close with Logan. You had sussed out that it was because he didn't give special treatment between him and his sister, Laura. They were treated the same in every way by Logan while his mother always seemed to favor him.
“Thank you, Mr. Howlett for offering to bring me down here…really. It’s too kind of you.” You couldn't have possibly scrounge up enough money to haphazardly buy a plane ticket down to Cancun last minute. You would have had to wait for him to come back from his “business trip” to confront him. Logan thought it a better idea to do it as soon as possible.
He shrugged, a single hand on the wheel as his eyes flicked lightly from the road to you. “It’s nothing. He doesn't deserve a pretty girl like you.” Logan shook his head lightly. “Back in my day, I would have been all over a girl like you. Hell, I’d be all over you now if I’d met you at the right time.”
There's something deadly serious in his voice that suggests he was far from joking. All your delusional thoughts that maybe, just maybe, he was flirting with you turned out to not be delusions at all. He’s been dropping hints and you’d been turning a blind eye to them so willingly.
You’ve never been with a man his age. Something about it seemed so taboo. He was old enough to be your father. Yet the distinct feel of forbiddenness, both because of his age and because he was your boyfriend's father, excited you.
“Who says you can't be all over me now?” You’re being more bold than you’d have liked. You crossed your ankles on the dash. It would be the perfect revenge. When he goes low, you go lower—you go to Hell.
You let your hand wander to his thigh, your eyes lingering on him as he keeps glancing between you and the road. Logan chuckled lowly at you, your forward attempts at coming onto him were rather cute. “Oh baby, you don't know what you’re tryna get yourself into.” He’s trying to warn you but you like the edge to his tone.
You unbuckle your seatbelt and sit up in your seat to lean over and whisper into his ear. “Let me find out.” Maybe older men do it better, maybe they value things a little more. You were in the mood to find out.
You could see his jaw tighten as he slowed the car off the side of the road, gravel crunching under the tires. His fingers curled around the wheel, taut, knuckles white. “Why don't you get in the back?”
If someone told you you’d be in the back of a van, on you way to confront your cheating, sleazebag boyfriend, fucking his dad. That…that you’d bat an eye at.
It was a fast-paced endeavor. Logan had you in a mating press, pushed up against the back seats. Your pants and underwear at your knees, his pants just below his ass. He’s pounding you out in the back of a van, with thrust so hard and deep that it makes your eyes go cross. You beg, “please, please, puh-please!” like that will save you from the brutalization of your poor cunt.
Logan grunts above you, his hands gripping your thighs hard enough to leave bruises as he spreads them wide and keeps you still. “You wanted this, princess. Don’t back out now.” His strokes leave you winded, clawing at the cracked leather seat of his van, squealing like you have no damn sense in the world. “I can’t,” you gasp.
“Yes you can, doll. You can take it.” Fuck– he was using his father voice. Stern, authoritative, the kind of voice you can’t say no to. You could have come right then and there from his voice alone, cooing at your pretty pussy like a cat. He pressed his hips sharply into yours and watched your back arch away from the seats and your eyes prick with tears. “Logan!”
“You act like you’ve never been fucked before. Does my son not do a good job?”
You shook your head feverishly. “Never– ” you swallowed, “–like this.” Never made you cum for that matter. If you knew fucking your boyfriend's father would have been like this, you would have done this a whole lot sooner.
You could feel him in your stomach. You pressed your hand to your belly and felt the bulge of his cock under your skin. You whimpered at the feeling, tracing where his cock head poked through. You could feel him pressing against your tender womb.
You let Logan cum in you. It was easy to with a face like his. You let him sink himself deep inside, a guttural groan rattling out from his throat, satisfied as he emptied his balls inside you. You could help but giggle as he came in you. The thought of possibly having his baby didn't bother you as much as you thought it would. Logan was a good man, well, as good as one can be while fucking his son’s girlfriend.
Logan didn't want to leave you unsatisfied though you were more than used to it. He grabbed your hips and pulled you up, back arching as he dipped down and kissed your cum-soaked pussy. His tongue found your clit with ease, licking tenderly at the bud between your legs, eyes peering over your pelvis, looking down at you.
Your legs trembled over his shoulder, toes pointing with each rough lick against your puffy pussy. “‘s too much, too much.” His lips were latched to your lips, suckling.
Cumming on his tongue was an easy job. He made it so simple yet so powerful. You quivered under every lick, your body rolling with the waves of your orgasm. It was sweet, savory, like tender peaches on a warm, summer evening.
Who knew revenge could taste so sweet?
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hobicakess · 5 months ago
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Wonderful World — JJK One-Shot Series
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SUMMARY: The world had gone to shit just like many had theorized. The living was not only fighting the dead, but they were also fighting against themselves and each other. Jeon Jungkook has been in the field by himself for months, living off of scraps, his own rules of survival, and barely enough water. Along the way, he finds a ditzy girl spoiled girl ironically Princess and her crusty white dog. He understood they'd be a handful, but he was Jeon Jungkook, and he could handle anything.
RATING: 18+ (im not the momma you are in control of what you consume.)
PAIRING: Jeon Jungkook x Bimbo!reader
CONTENT WARNING: apocalypse!au, gore, blood, ditzy!reader, angst, slow burn, eventual established relationship, jungkook is sighing every three seconds, eventual smut, crusty white dog (yes that's a warning), minor character death, named reader, corrupt dystopian society, meanie jungkook, princess is just a girl, more to be added AUTHORS NOTE: i am back in my zombie apocolyse era!!!! this is heavily inspired by zombie land because i love it sososo much. the post for this story will be in shorts pushing 1k- 3k? words and my ask box is always open to request and thoughts for this series. If you are new to my blog welcome hottie! be sure to check out my other works, you"ll love it over here xxx
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Jungkook had strict rules.
Four sips of water a day, only eat when his stomach is cramped to the point of when he couldn't walk, never sleep over an hour, don't let anyone in. He didn't need extra weight slowing him down from his destination. Was he being hard on himself? Maybe. Since losing his group in an unexpected ambush all those months ago he couldn't bring himself to be softer on his habits even if he had more than enough resources to keep him alive and breathing for the year. He was guilty, and angry. Angry at himself and angry at the world for what it had come too. Despite his personal angst Jungkook refused to die holding onto the hope he would finally reunite with his six soulmates.
Another unspoken rule of his was to never walk upon the main roads. Stay away from those maniacs dressed in military clothes and those who drove military trucks. So he stuck to the shadows, camouflage into the trees with stealthy movements. Quick and quiet, never stay in one place longer than two days. He's been in here for at least a day spending that time securing the area and everything around it before he could properly set up his base in the abandoned thrift store he found. Hopefully he could get as much rest as a person could during the end of the world. As he tracked back to his base swiftly moving through the tree-line with the new finds he managed to scavenge. He stopped when he heard a squeal that didn't sound like the parasites that took over the world. Peeking through the green he saw a woman. A frown taking over his handsome features as his eyes rake her clothing.
A tiny pink cropped tank top, tight denim shorts that had jeweled pockets, ripped black fishnets and wedged heels that threw him off more than the unethical outfit. On her back was a clear backpack and inside was a tiny sleeping dog who was unaware of the life or death circumstances their owner happened to be in. Surrounding her were geeks groaning and growling, taking swipes at her. Their only objective is to eat,eat, eat.
Jungkook didn’t deal with other people, for obvious reasons but he was still the selfless Jeon Jungkook who couldn’t turn his back on anyone, especially a woman clearly in need of his help. So he quickly jumped from the trees, holding onto his crow bar tightly and as he approached the woman and the group of zombies.
Until she screeched, "You broke my nail" pulling out a knife from her thigh garter taking down all four of the dead. Breathing heavily she blew a curl from her face as she turned, jumping at the sight of Jungkook's large frame looming over her with his crowbar up as if he was ready to attack her. She squeaks gathering herself into a tiny fighting position as she points her knife at him and he notices the handle was decorated with a dark skinned hello kitty print.
“You’re literally so sexy. I’d let you kill me as long as I’m in a chokehold.” Her big brown eyes trailed to his beefy tattooed and tanned arms causing his eyebrows to shoot up in surprise. Clearing his throat he put his weapon down turning on his thick soled heels back into the ditch disappearing into the greenery. She wasn’t in any danger anymore so he wasn’t needed.
“You know it’s not very nice to leave a lady unattended in the middle of a road especially during an apco-" he was quick to grab her, shoving her down against the tree trunk. He smacked against her mouth, as a group of military men began to drive along the side of the road closest to them. His eyes met her wide ones as she blinked her wispy lashes at him. His gaze trails over the freckles that danced over her button nose, and cheeks, slight blood splatter caked there along with her forehead. She giggles quickly as he removes his hand from her mouth revealing a bright and pearly smile.
"Kinky." his lip curls in annoyance as he turns his back on her again.
“You can’t just leave us! Me and Minnie are great company.” He stopped walking when he heard the name of her dog minnie. Who's been surprisingly quiet through the whole ordeal. Looking over his shoulder at her, he then shaking his head, he continued on taking longer steps.
“Okay I get it silent and boarding, dark and mysterious, tall, tanned, and handsome.She rambled on scurrying behind him.
“Whew you know what hulk- ACK!” a thud echoed through the trees making him turn seeing her fallen to her knees in mud. She sniffles as she tries to stand on her feet, failing miserably only getting her hands dirty in the process.
"They leave me all alone, take my stuff, then I break a freaking nail because of those nasty freaks, now I'm covered in mud following around an avenger who doesn't even. . ."
She's fully sobbing now, fat tears falling down her chubby cheeks as she gives up moving. "Just strike me downnnn"
Again his selfless heart was aching as he winced. He grumbles as he stomps towards her reaching his own hand out for her to take, after all this he couldn't find it in himself to just leave her not now. She sniffles as she looks up at him, then stares at his hand. With another pretty smile she takes it, letting him pull her upright, allowing her to rub her muddy hands on his black tank top with a defeated sigh.
“Thanks Thor.”
Huffing he began walking again this time slower so she wouldn't lose him. As he gets to the brick wall that seperates the forest from the store. She stares up at it and swallows hard. “How are we gonna get up there?”
Rolling his eyes Jungkook pulls his backpack off of his back, throwing it over the wall. He reaches towards her and she gasp, “You are not throwing my precious Minnie over that wall!” Stepping back from him a pout set on her lips. He shrugs and begins to climb up, leaving her there to watch as he disappears over the wall. Pouting and huffing, she removes her backpack from her back, strapping it in the front just in case she falls on her ass. “I'm way too pretty for this”
Scaling the wall she walked along it ignoring Hulks loud huffs and tapping of his boots. That's when she found a hole there big enough for her to fit through happily making her way through.
Jungkook might just leave her there on the other side of the wall. Hopefully she'll use whatever's there in her brain to find her way over the wall with her crusty white dog who he wished he could sleep like. He jumps at the tap on his shoulder turning to her standing behind him hands behind her back as she gave him a closed lip smile puffing the apples of her cheeks rocking back and forth on her wedges. “Guess what hulky.”
He raises a pierced eyebrow as she points in the direction she came from. “Found a hole in the wall!! You didn't even have to climb over silly.”
The happiness in her face fell as Jungkooks face hardened. Storming over to the said hold, cursing. He could have sworn he sweep the whole perimeter. How could this have gotten under his nose? He turns back to you standing pouty and confused. Since the first time meeting him Jungkook opens his mouth to speak.
“Good job princess” his voice deep and hoarse from not using it for months.
"OMG how'd you know my name" She smiles practically bouncing on her feet from the praise and his attention, twirling on a piece of her hair like a school girl with a crush. Shaking his head he turned back to fix the wall.
Inside of the thrift store, Jungkook listened quietly to her ramble about her love for thrifting and how she would rather thrift than online shop. Then he watched her get teary eyed again over not being able to online shop anymore. “It's just not fair!!! Like I was living the most barbie dream girl life, ya know?”
Accepting the tissue he handed to her staring at the sleeping dog in her lap. “Then bam the Internet shuts off, then boom my freaking neighbor tries to eat me.”
“Like I'm just a girl! I'm not fit for this at all.” Blowing her nose into the tissues finishing her tantrum while Jungkook debated on what to say. “I watched you knife four geeks by yourself, I think you're doing pretty good.”
“ Really?”
“Really?”
She giggles sniffing, as she held out her hand. “I’m Princess Marie sorry for the late introduction ‘s very rude.
Clasping his hand into hers, “Jeon Jungkook. Don't worry about it too much.”
His gaze drifted to her bloody broken nail.
“Let's clean this up, kay?”
Eagerly she nodded dark curls bouncing.
“Mmkay kookie”
Jungkook wouldn't admit it out loud but being in the presence of another human being that wasn't trying to kill him was nice. He knew that princess and her crusty dog would be a handful but he was willing to deal with it. Plus he missed being called by his favorite nickname.
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- © hobicakess ! do not steal, modify, copy, plagiarize, nor repost any of the works on this blog without given permission!
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mapis-putellas · 6 days ago
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𝑫𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆
Pairing: Alexia Putellas x reader
Words: 1568
Warnings: absolutely none
Summary: Alexia loves you, and when she’s intoxicated, she can’t help but tell you every opportunity she gets.
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It was close to one in the morning when your phone buzzed on the coffee table, the sound pulling you out of a light sleep on the couch. You squinted at the screen, surprised to see Aitana's name lighting up. You sat up, concern prickling at the edge of your sleepiness as you answered.
"Hey, Aitana, what's up?"
Aitana's voice, tinged with amusement, came through, accompanied by the muffled sounds of a busy night out. "Hey, Y/N, sorry for calling so late, but... you might want to come pick up your girl."
You couldn't help but laugh a little, picturing Alexia out on the town. Going out wasn't really her thing—she usually preferred a quiet night at home with you or just relaxing on her own. But tonight had been different. After a big win, Mapi had convinced her to celebrate, and you'd encouraged her too, thinking she deserved to unwind with her friends.
"Is she okay?" you asked, standing up and grabbing your keys as you spoke.
"Oh, she is fine," Aitana replied, chuckling. "But she refuse to leave with anyone but you. Keeps saying, 'No, Y/N only,' over and over again."
You grinned, warmth filling your chest. "Alright, I'm on my way. Thanks for keeping an eye on her."
"No problem," Aitana said with a laugh. "She is adorable right now, by the way. Just... very clingy."
You ended the call and headed out, smiling to yourself as you drove to the bar. You could picture Alexia, slightly tipsy, clutching her phone and refusing to go with anyone but you. Even tipsy, her loyalty was unwavering.
When you pulled up outside the bar, you spotted Aitana and Mapi by the entrance, standing with Alexia. She was leaning heavily on Mapi's shoulder, eyes slightly glazed but lighting up the second she saw you. Her whole face brightened, and she stumbled forward, hands reaching out for you with an excited grin.
"Y/N!" she slurred, her accent even thicker in her drunken state. She immediately threw her arms around you, clinging tightly and nuzzling her face into your shoulder. "I missed you."
You wrapped your arms around her, chuckling as you steadied her. "I missed you too, Ale. Sounds like you had a fun night?"
She nodded, still holding you close as if she hadn't seen you in months. "Sí, but... not as good as... being with you," she mumbled, her voice muffled against your shoulder.
Mapi and Aitana exchanged amused glances, both of them grinning. "Good luck getting her home," Mapi teased, crossing her arms with a knowing smirk.
You laughed, gently guiding Alexia toward the car. "Thanks for calling me," you said to Aitana as Alexia stumbled along beside you, her arm tightly wrapped around you.
"Anytime," Aitana replied with a wink. "Take care of her. She's all yours."
With Alexia still clinging to you, you helped her into the passenger seat, buckling her in as she watched you with a goofy, love-struck smile.
"You're so... so pretty," she said, reaching up to touch your cheek, her fingers soft and slightly clumsy.
You grinned, warmth blooming in your chest. "Thanks, babe. You're not so bad yourself."
As you started the car, Alexia's attention shifted to the road, her eyes lighting up as you passed by a familiar fast-food place. She perked up, practically bouncing in her seat as she pointed out the window.
"Chicken nuggets!" she exclaimed, her tone full of excitement. "Please, can we get some? Just... just a few?"
You laughed, unable to resist her plea. Normally, Alexia was meticulous about her diet, rarely indulging in things like fast food. But the pleading look on her face, combined with her slightly slurred words, made it impossible to say no
"Alright, let's get you some nuggets," you agreed, pulling into the drive-thru.
Alexia's face lit up, and she practically squealed with delight. When the food arrived, she wasted no time, diving into the nuggets with a look of pure joy on her face. She took bites that were far too big, stuffing her mouth and somehow managing to get sauce on her chin. It was so unlike her usual composed self that you couldn't help but stare, utterly endeared by her messy enthusiasm.
"These are... so good," she mumbled through a mouthful of food, holding out a nugget to you with an earnest expression. "You... you want one?"
You chuckled, shaking your head. "No, babe, those are all for you.
She beamed, continuing to munch on the nuggets as you drove, every so often glancing at you with a happy, slightly dazed expression that made your heart swell.
Once she finished her food, she settled back in her seat, her head leaning against the window as she watched the streetlights pass by. A comfortable silence filled the car, but then Alexia turned to you, her eyes soft and curious.
"Y/N..." she started, her voice quiet, almost vulnerable. "Do you... love me?"
You glanced at her, surprised by the question, though the earnest look on her face melted your heart. "Of course I do, Ale. You know that."
She nodded, seeming satisfied with your answer, but she wasn't done yet. "And... do you think... I am pretty?"
You smiled, reaching over to squeeze her hand. "You're more than pretty, Alexia. You're beautiful."
She blushed, a shy smile tugging at her lips as she looked out the window. But a few seconds later, she turned back to you, her expression serious.
"And... am I good at football?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, as if the question held a deep significance.
You gave her hand another squeeze, your voice gentle. "Ale, you're amazing at football. You're one of the best players out there, and you're an incredible captain. Your team is lucky to have you, and I'm lucky to have you too."
Her face softened, her eyes shining with emotion as she gazed at you, clearly touched by your words. "Gracias, mi amor," she whispered, leaning over to rest her head on your shoulder as you continued driving, her breathing slowing as she relaxed.
When you finally pulled up to your place, you parked the car and gently nudged her awake. She blinked, looking slightly disoriented before grinning sleepily at you, reaching out for your hand.
"Home?" she murmured, leaning heavily against you as you helped her out of the car.
"Yeah, let's get you inside," you replied, guiding her toward the front door as she stumbled along beside you, her arm draped over your shoulders.
Once inside, you led her to the bedroom, easing her down onto the edge of the bed. She let out a contented sigh, her eyes half-closed as she watched you with a soft smile.
"Wait," she mumbled, reaching out to grab your hand as you moved to get her some pajamas. "Stay... don't leave."
You chuckled, squeezing her hand reassuringly. "I'm just grabbing you some pajamas, Ale. I'm not going anywhere."
She nodded, her hand slipping away as she leaned back, looking up at you with a sleepy but adoring gaze. You quickly grabbed a t-shirt and some soft shorts, helping her change as she clumsily lifted her arms, barely able to keep her balance. Once she was finally in her pajamas, you pulled back the covers, helping her slide into bed.
You climbed in beside her, expecting her to drift off quickly, but to your surprise, she scooted closer, resting her head on your shoulder as she looked up at you with a sleepy smile.
"Y/N?" she whispered, her voice barely audible. "Will you stay... here?"
You smiled, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close. "Of course, Ale. I'm not going anywhere."
She snuggled against you, her head resting on your chest as she sighed happily. But even though she was lying down, sleep didn't seem to come easily. Instead, she kept fidgeting, her fingers tracing small patterns on your arm as she looked up at you, her eyes filled with questions.
"Y/N, do you think... we can get nuggets again tomorrow?"
You chuckled softly, nodding as you brushed a strand of hair from her face. "Sure, Ale. We can get nuggets whenever you want."
She smiled, her eyes beginning to close as she relaxed. But just when you thought she was finally drifting off, she stirred again, looking up at you with a sleepy but earnest expression.
"Y/N... you really... really love me, right?"
You wrapped your arms around her, holding her close as you pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Yes, Ale. I really, really love you. Now get some rest, okay?"
She nodded, finally settling down as she snuggled closer, her breathing gradually evening out as she drifted off to sleep, secure in your arms.
And as you held her close, a smile tugging at your lips, you knew that no matter how many times she asked, you'd be there to remind her just how much you loved her, tonight and every night.
**
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juletheghoul · 4 months ago
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JULES! It's currently 12:30am and I can't stop thinking about your Marcus gladiator fic. I need to scream this at you.
Picture this:
They are back in Rome. They are in the baths, public or private. I personally picture public ignoring the fact he would definitely get his own bathing area being a successful General but I digress. Someone has had a bit too much wine and gets a little too handsy and rough with his girl. That pisses him off so now he has to take a statement right? You can't touch what's his!
So he calls her into the water with him and has her continue the bathing while sitting on his cock before just eventually destroying her. Bonus points if he makes stoic eye contact with the offending party that started it all.
I cannot get this idea out of my head and I just had to share this with you.
Take care~! ❤️
Nonny - you really came for my fucking throat with this one... 😍😍😍 like... I stared at this with my jaw on the floor - what a mind you have... okay lets get into it
smut under the cut - 18+ and don't read more if you aren't into exhibitionism (not beta'ed and barely proofread lmao)
Series masterlist
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The campaign was finally over, for now.
He'd marched into the city with his legions behind him, and the streets of Rome roared to herald their victor, the famous, brutal, but efficient, General Marcus Acacius.
He waved, and made the appropriate salutes to the city, but he was sparing with his smiles, his eyes scanning even here in the safety of Rome's breast, for anything that might threaten his safety. You watched him from your place behind him, along with the other slaves that had followed him and his soldiers off to war, invisible in his shadow to anyone but him, and a few brazen few who had decided to test his boundaries. They had been forgotten however, the only thing that occupied your mind, was him.
His first stop had been his villa, to settle his household. It was all very cut and dry, his staff knew to keep his house in order in his absence and they did so, enough that he hadn't even spoken more than a few words while he made his way through. While he set about getting settled in, you did the same, moving silently through his halls towards your modest quarters. The road had been long, and you thought that you could probably get away with bathing, and taking a few moments to yourself, trusting that now he would be well attended to.
You barely got your bearings when he cleared his throat at your door.
"Apologies Dominus, did you want for something?"
"Gather your things, we go to the baths."
-
The baths, strictly speaking, were for everyone. There were certain ones however, like the one you were in now, that were privately owned. This one, was owned by a member of the Senate and friend to the Roman army, and as such, was populated by a few other soldiers, and their attendants.
Marcus spoke very little by nature, he was a man who kept his words as close as he did his coin. He said even less when confronted with raucous laughter, and men who couldn't seem to keep their dignity when taking a cup of wine.
His jaw clenched as you both settled into the warm waters of the baths and you set about washing the march and the war and the violence off of his skin, sitting behind him to rub the knots from his shoulders while ignoring the ever increasingly loud soldiers around you. One of them, was the same that had tested his patience in his tent, and by the way he kept eyeing Marcus in front of you, had forgotten the lesson.
"The oil, girl." He spoke low over his shoulder, and you belatedly realized you'd left the oil he liked with the robes when you'd undressed.
"Yes Dominus." WIth haste, and not an ounce of shame, you rose up out of the water and went to grab the vial, finding it quickly, but before you could make it back to him you were cut off.
"I can see why you like this one General, I can see why you're so greedy with her." The same soldier stands in your way, his hands grabbing at your waist. The wine in his cup spills onto your naked skin and for a moment you're afraid he'll paw at you further but within a moment he's as still as a statue. That's when you notice, the deathly hush that falls over the whole place.
You look up into the soldiers face and his eyes are as big as plates, a small dagger pressed to the apple of his throat, the point just deep enough to draw blood. You hadn't heard him come out of the water.
"This is the last warning I give you, the next time you put your hands on what's mine, you will die." His voice was a whisper, but it echoed through the room. "Have I made myself perfectly clear?"
"Ye-yes, Yes General." all humor had gone from the man, and when Marcus had pulled away, all taste for wine had as well.
Wordlessly you followed Marcus back into the water, but instead of sitting in front of you, he pulled you to sit in his lap, keeping his eyes on the spurned soldier.
"I want you sitting like this." His hands settled on your hips and you felt the way he hardened beneath you, "Continue." He spoke low, but clear and kept his eyes focused, daring anyone to question him.
You did your best to focus on washing his hair, on rubbing the oil into the skin of his shoulders and his chest, but his hands wandered, grabbing at your ass and fitting his cock between the lips of your sex, drawing out your arousal and making your pulse quicken. His lips descended next, pressing softly to your shoulder while his eyes remained fixed. WIth a move, he slid his cock inside, pulling a moan from your lips, it only served to bolster him, making no move to conceal what he was doing and you knew it was part frustration from being at war, and driving home his point.
He said nothing, but he didn't need to.
People watched him take you there, in the water, and they said nothing. Any modesty you had, and shame had been worked out of you long ago and now, all you felt was pleasure. Both at him bouncing you on his cock, and at him having taught the soldier a lesson on your behalf. You ignored the part that sang the sweet song of ownership. You were his, and he relished the fact.
"Dominus-" You all but moaned into his ear, "May I have your gift?" You bounced on your own now, holding onto his neck, pressing yourself tightly to him.
"Yes Girl, it's yours, take it." He grit out the words, his eyes finally finding yours. You sped up, using your buoyancy to your advantage, clenching around him on the downstroke and when you felt his hands tighten around your hips you knew you had him.
"May I have your mouth, Dominus?" You watched his lips as you bounced, and he smiled a tiny smile before claiming your kiss with the same ardor that burned in your veins.
His tongue licked into your mouth and within a moment you felt the first spurt of him, deep inside where he liked it to be.
After a few minutes you made to move but his hands held you tightly. You took a look around, but unbeknownst to you, the baths had emptied and you were alone.
"I did not feel you flutter, and I am not yet clean."
---
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joker-and-a-fool · 6 months ago
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disabled people who can't drive no one understands us
abled people don't understand the idea that you just...can't drive! that we have to rely on public transit or other people just to leave our houses! it's an isolating feeling, especially when you have to go through applications just to use the disabled transit programs.
my mom's been trying to convince me to drive again, I was practicing around covid time and ended up giving up because we couldn't find time and I was tired of it. but now she keeps going "oh but you drove in the past!!" and blocking my explanations of why I don't want to.
but this isn't meant to be a vent, it's to support my point.
I told her I'm photosensitive and her response was that she is too but it's "gotten better with age" which sure, but if I can't keep my eyes open as a passenger, do we really want me on the road? if I have a neurological condition that makes my feet freeze up, do we want me to use the pedals? and don't even suggest hand controls, my hands are even worse. and god forbid I learn to drive and then don't get medically approved to drive.
but for some reason, these are seen as excuses.
so if you've ever gone through this, i completely understand and get it. i don't enjoy relying on others but it's what we have to do.
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chaengluva · 6 months ago
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hiii what about a regina x reader where they were childhood best friends but reader moves away. but reader moves back and goes to north shore and unfortunately sees regina acting like a bitch to someone and feels disgusted that regina turned out that way. happy ending though if that’s possible😭 idk if that makes sense😭
Childhood
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Regina x Fem!Reader
I published this on wattpad ages ago and completely forgot about the request, IM SO SORRY.
I don’t know if i wrote this the exact way you wanted, so i tried my best, let me know if you want a part two.
Warnings: Mention of bullying, slight angst, nothing much more
You stare out your bedroom window, looking at the driveway of the house across the road. You begin to get bored as you have been waiting for the past hour for your best friend to come back. She had been gone for weeks, and you miss her so much. You spend every day together, talking, playing, and walking to school together (with your parents, of course).
That wasn't the point; the point was that you missed your best friend and were sick of waiting. "Mommy!" You whine, crawling downstairs to see your mom, cleaning up the kitchen. "Mommy, when is she coming back?" You ask, tugging at your mom's shirt. "I'm sorry, sweetheart; I don't know. But I'm sure she'll be back soon," your mom replies, giving you a reassuring smile. You sigh, feeling a mixture of impatience and excitement at the thought of finally reuniting with your best friend after what felt like an eternity. 
You decide to go back to your room and continue waiting, hoping that she'll come back any minute now.
Regina's family had left for a road trip a few weeks ago, and when you called her on your mom's phone last night, she said she would be back for your birthday, but it was 11 a.m. and she wasn't there, and your party is at 1 p.m. 
You start to feel a pang of worry creep up inside you. What if something had happened on their trip? What if Regina couldn't make it back in time for your birthday party? You try to push these negative thoughts out of your mind, reminding yourself that Regina is a reliable and responsible person.
As the minutes tick by, you can't help but keep checking the clock, hoping to see her familiar face walk through the front door any moment now.
Meanwhile, Regina and her family are in the car.
"Mom! Are we there yet?" Regina whined, asking the same question for the hundredth time. Regina reserved the same answer: "Not yet, baby." Her mom said it with a frown. Regina's heart sank as she glanced at the time on her phone, realising just how late they were running.
She couldn't shake the guilt of potentially missing her friend's birthday party. Her mom exchanged a worried glance with her dad, silently hoping they would make it in time. Regina tried to distract herself by imagining the smile on her friend's face when she finally arrived, but the sinking feeling in her stomach wouldn't go away.
Regina rolled her eyes. "Mom! It's Y/N's birthday! She was there for my 8th birthday." Regina pleaded with tears falling down her eyes; she then felt the car come to a stop and say, "We are here." Regina's mom said. Regina happily jumped out of the car, running up to your house and knocking on the door. She didn't stop knocking until the door was opened.
"Regina!" An equally happy you on the other side of the door said excitedly, bringing the blonde inside and giving her a hug. The two of you stayed in the hug for a while; you missed each other so much. Your mom walked in when she heard the two of you planning to talk with Regina's mom. When she walked past Regina, her eyes went wide.
"Regina? Have you gotten taller again?" The young girl's face went red, and her eyes looked at the floor. "Mom! Don't say that!" you exclaimed. "It's okay, Y/N. I mean, you are short, and you will always be short, so I will always protect you." Regina reminds me, with a smile on her face.
The two of you rush up to your room. You jump on the bed, and Regina does the same after you. "Happy birthday," Regina said, pulling out a gift bag. You gasp, grabbing the bag and opening it. Inside was a jelly cat bunny and a matching necklace to the one Regina was wearing. "Put it on me!" you say, and she smiles, putting it on you.
The people at the party started to come over. You had an amazing time, opened a lot of gifts, and ate a lot of cake. It was now 6 p.m., and everyone had left except for Regina and her mom. You and Regina were currently sitting on the couch, your heads in her lap, watching for Nemo.
"Regina! Y/n, Can you two come here?" You heard your mom's voice yell from the kitchen. You and Regina raced to the kitchen, smiling when they saw both your moms talking, but they didn't look happy.
"Can you please sit down?" Your mom asks, and you cluelessly both sit down next to each other, facing them. There was a small moment of silence before your mom spoke up, "Y/n, baby, I have some news." Your mom said quietly, and you listened closely, waiting for her to say something.
"We are moving tomorrow," she says.
You feel your heart break; you didn't want to be away from Regina; she was your best friend, and you couldn't survive without seeing her every day. "Houses? Schools? Or": You ask, tears starting to form. "Both, and states," your mom says. You look down and play with your figures, so annoyed with how she didn't tell you earlier.
The whole move happened so fast, and before you knew it, you were standing outside your house with your things backed away, holding the stuffed animal that Regina got you, and wearing the necklace.
She pulled you in for a hug. You stayed in her arms and cried. You didn't stop holding her until your mom said it was time to go. "We will see each other one day." Regina recalled, You nodded, walking into the car and saying goodbye, which could be for the last time.
~
Present Time
And you were moving back to your old state. The move to New York was good but your dad lost his job, he got a new one back where you used to live. You were slightly nervous that you would bump into people that you used to be friends with, mainly Regina.
You were nervous as you looked at your new school, moving into a new school in senior year was interesting but you couldn't really do anything about it. You walk inside the school and immediately feel out of place, like you don't belong.
You walk inside into a classroom that you think is your home room and the first thing you see is a girl dressed in all black, sitting on a table, with her feet up on an empty table beside her, you look at her for a second and you gasp when you realise who it is.
You walk up to her with a smile on your face, "Regina! Oh my god! It's been so long!" You exclaim, moving to sit next to her, she rolls her eyes at you, not moving her feet from the desk you were sitting at.
"Do I know you?" She asks, voice bitter, not sweet and caring like you remembered, "Yeah, we used to be friends-" you start but she cuts you off, "First off all, It was a rhetorical question, dumbass, second of all, I would never be friends with you." You frown at her words and get up and move from the desk, you were worried that you had mistaken her for someone else.
You later found out that it was Regina, you found out that she was a bitch, she was a bully and treated the whole school like shit.
But that was your old best friend and you were going to prove it to her, and you knew exactly how to do it.
It was lunch time and you walked into the cafeteria, you walked past everyone and they stared at you as you walked to the plastics table.
Regina started up at you as she felt your presence, she was about to tell you to fuck off but you beat her to it, you throw the necklace that she got you 9 years ago, for your birthday and she looked at it for a few seconds before she finally realised who you were. She stood up and grabbed your hand.
"Y/n." She whispered. 
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leascorner · 7 months ago
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j.s. | Welcome home
Summary: After a mission, Jake gets some well deserved break at home. However the week might not turn out how he had planned.
Pairing:  Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x childhood bff!f!reader
Warnings: Angst, mention of death and near death experience, mention of break-up, probably inexact american army facts, ever most likely inexact description of Texas, mention of food, two idiots in love, happy ending
Word Count: 9.2k
A/N: I've said it before, I will say it again. The only trope that I can write/read about Jake is a childhood/best friends to lovers, don't fight me. I also see Jake as an older brother to two half-sisters his mother had with a very good man, after his father abandonned them. This is my canon.
Anyway, this is way too long and way too chaotic but I just couldn't stop writting so enjoy!
Masterlist
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Y/N was literally hopping up and down with impatience - or perhaps was it the three cups of coffees she had drunk to be able to keep up with the 2-hour-long drive to the airport in the middle of the night. She was standing on the arrival floors, on her tiptoes, trying to locate the person she was picking up. The flow of travellers coming through the arrival doors was continuous, so many blond heads coming through and none of them was his.
Her childhood best friend’s flight had landed a dozen of minutes prior; 3:28 a.m. was the time she received a “be right there, see you soon” text. Ever since then, the seconds had been going past very - very - slowly and with every second passing, Y/N chest had got narrower from anticipation to the point she felt like she couldn’t breathe. It hadn’t been more than a year and a half now that they had seen each other in the flesh. Of course, there were the texts, the emails and the FaceTime calls, but it was never the same.
“Jake!”
The sea of people in front of them seemed to split in half to let them collide in one another. The said Jake let his bag fall to his feet to catch a flying Y/N, lifting her from the ground as if she weighted nothing. Her hands found the back of his neck and her head found the crook of his neck, reuniting their bodies as if they were only one mind.
“Hey sweetheart,” he sniffed her hair, intoxicating himself from her perfume.
Jake let her down reluctantly when he realized they were in the way of other people reunions. After swinging his bag over his shoulder and dragging her near a row of seats, he finally took a good look at her, dark circles under puffy red eyes and hair all other the place. He dried her tears softly and kissed the top of her head, something he was sure he hadn’t done since they were in high school and that fucker of Chad had broken up her heart - thinking of it now, it seemed like it was a lifetime away. However, he knew that in this moment there was no sadness in her tears. She was crying probably a little happiness to seeing him again, but most certainly a lot of relief to have him alive in front of her.
He took another step back to have an even greater look at her. Y/N was exactly how he last saw her one year or so ago, and exactly how she looked like even all the other times he had to leave. She did not seem to age, and he was sure that the fine smile lines she was now wearing had always been there. It brought comfort to his heart to know that whatever would happen, she would always be waiting for him. He knew it was also selfish, but he had made peace with those thoughts a long time ago. These were moments that he was collecting in his mind for when he was somewhere overseas, fighting for his life.
“My my, did you grow up a few inches?”
“Oh, shut up!” Y/N laughed and tried to nudge him in the ribs. Jake easily grabbed her right elbow to bring her closer in another embrace, so very glad to be home, even only for a little while.
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Ventilation was swinging litters of hot air into the car's cabin as it was a rather chilly night for October in Texas. The full moon was lighting up all the roads in front of them, just as if it was making sure they would get home safely.
During the drive, the main discussion turned around how excited everyone would be to have him there. Y/N and her parents were the only ones to know about Jake’s surprise visit; they had only known for about three days before his flight landed that he unexpectedly got a week of leave. They would surprise his family later that day for lunch - only after they both had a rather long nap to make up for the sleepless night.
Jake had seen his family a couple more times than Y/N this past year and a half. Even if he considered Y/N to be family, this wasn’t exactly the rule of the administration. Blood family had some more privileges, like sometimes visiting for the holidays. His mother and one of his little sisters also visited him in Singapore when he was stationed there for an exercise in the Taiwan Strait; they had booked a vacation to be able to see him there. Y/N, at that time, had been unavailable - she had her own life after all.
It was what Jake found the more difficult; to keep up with her life. Most of her friends were common friends from high school. With her going to a different university and later with her different jobs, some of her friends were total strangers to him. However, they all seemed to come and go into her life, leaving more or less damage.
“I am sorry about you and Nick.”
Y/N finished getting back to the right line of the highway and removing the blinker, before glancing quickly in Jake’s direction. He was looking at her, with an expression she couldn’t quite read, but that she understood as some kind of gladness. She sighed while turning her focus back on the road.
“You can lie better than that, Jake.”
“Well, didn’t like the guy so…”
It had been a couple of months now than her longtime boyfriend Nick and she had broken up. What confused Jake the most was how this was not a topic for discussion. She hadn’t called crying; she did not seem to be angry. She just announced it to him like it was nothing and directly switched subject. He hadn’t found a way to bring it back on the table, so he asked their friends and family. They all had the same answer; she was doing fine. She seemed to have continued her life just like nothing had happened.
“Was it him-”
“It was me,” Y/N cut him off quickly abruptly, leaving Jake with an uneasy feeling. She sighed again, probably realizing how harsh her tone had been. “This wasn’t working out anyway.”
Though she could not see him, Jake nodded back acknowledging her response. He still felt like there were more to it, but he understood that now wasn’t the time to discuss it. Ever since they had known each other - and it went back to kindergarten, they hadn’t had many secrets for one another. And if they had, it was never anything major.
So, he shook off this feeling and gently grabbed her hand resting on the gearshift to squeeze it softly.
“I do am sorry, though.”
“I know.”
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It was nearly six in the morning when Y/N pulled up in her parents’ driveway.
The porch light was on, welcoming them, making sure Jake knew he was expected, and it made him smile fondly. It still felt surreal somehow; after everything, he was home. Getting out of the car, he breathed the fresh air of Texas like he hadn’t breathed in years.
Y/N was already opening her trunk, getting out a duffel bag that seemed to contain some clothes for today. Jake jogged toward her before she was able to get his own khaki bag out. She rolled her eyes, smiling, when he gently slapped her hands away to take care of it.
“Mom set up a spare bed in my room,” Y/N informed him while walking to the front door. “Just like the old days.”
And nothing in the house had changed either.
The hallway was still a drive along memories with all sorts of pictures hanged upon the wall. Y/N’s parents wedding portrait. Y/N’s baby pictures. Y/N on the day of the start of her first kindergarten year - just before they met each other. A couple more of first day of school pictures - this time with him in it as well. A couple of family vacation pictures. And along with them, a couple of pictures of events he wasn’t even there to attend. Y/N’s university graduation, her parents’ thirty-year anniversary celebration party, her first promotion celebration dinner…
The kitchen was still on the right, the living room on the left and straight ahead the stairs to the bedrooms. Y/N’s bedroom still had Justin Timberlake poster hung up on the walls along with some pictures of friends and family. The teddy bear he won for her at the funfair when they were not even ten stood on her bed. Jake swore that if he opened the dresser, he would still find the shelf that was for his stuff back then.
Without many words, both of them got ready for bed. Y/N took the en-suite bathroom first and when Jake got back in his sweatpants, she was already in bed, cuddling Mister B the teddy bear. His chuckle made her look up to him with sleepy eyes and quickly look away when she realized he didn’t wear a shirt. He kissed her on her forehead before tugging her more tightly in her sheets and turning off the bedside lamp.
“Do you remember when I couldn’t sleep unless someone was holding my hand?”
Jake only hummed in answer, and even in the darkness of her room, his hand found hers instinctively. Their fingers intertwining immediately, he did just as he had promised when he was only just a kid; he never let it go.
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“Son,” Y/N’s father spoke from the other side of the kitchen, “don’t worry about it.”
Jake shook his head, smiling, before proceeding with what he was already doing: loading the cup he had used to drink coffee in the dishwasher. Ever since he had been up earlier that morning, Y/N’s parents had pampered him with all their attention while also being busy preparing lunch. Every time he asked if they needed help, they would assure him he just needed to stay put in his seat.
It had always been like this, for as long as he had remembered. Whenever he had gone over when Y/N and he were still in middle school, her parents had always taken good care of him, making sure the crust of his PB&J sandwiches were cut off, putting on his favourite beddings when they were having a sleepover, drying his clothes in the air dryer when they came home soaking wet from the park. He felt loved in a different way than he did at home, where he had a hard time adjusting to his new family dynamics with his two younger step-sitters. Growing up, they continued on listening to him and caring for him. Y/N’s father was the one he went to for advice before he enrolled. Ever since, and with the little time he had with them every time he came home, it still hit him in the face how much they loved him like he was their own son.
“Do you need help with anything?” He asked once more.
This time, they did not have time to answer. Y/N appeared on the doorstep, changed out of her pyjamas, hair still wet. “The shower is all yours, Jake.”
She watched him go as if she had to make sure he remembered the way to her room. She hadn’t really realized yet that he was really here, with them, and feared that he would just disappear at any minute or that she would just wake up from whatever dream she was having. Somehow this also seemed to be all too familiar, like a play they had rehearsed a hundred time before. It broke her heart a little to know this was most likely not going to happen again before a very long time, that it could actually never happen again.
Y/N got this thought out of her head as soon as it came. She didn’t need to think about this. Not now. Not ever. She just needed to enjoy whatever time she had with him at home.
“He looks good,” her mum stated once Jake had made it to the top of the stairs.
“Yeah, he does,” Y/N spoke softly, eyes lingering to where Jake had been only a couple of seconds before, suddenly wondering if he was really as good as they thought.
When Jake got back to the kitchen the entrance clock had just struck eleven. Only sixty minutes until he would be reunited with his family. It never felt more real, but he couldn’t quite realize it. He was so used of being far away from them, totally disconnected from their realities, hearing their news after everyone else. Yet, he had always found them as he had left them, eyes watering to see him home or gone.
He joined Y/N on the vegetable preparation. Washing, peeling, cutting kept him busy while the anticipation started to build up. All while Y/N’s father asked him about what new manoeuvres he had learned. Being an aviator himself, they could talk about flying for hours to Y/N’s greatest damn; she had the biggest fear of flying - and perhaps the fact that Jake nearly crashed them while flying an old aircraft he had restored with her father when they were teenagers had something to do with it.
“These boys,” Y/N’s mother sighed playfully as Jake and Y/F/N were debating whatever solar planes were the future of aviation. Y/N smiled as she shared a knowing look with her mother, who was getting ready to lay the table in the dining room.
“Mom, hold on,” Y/N called before reaching inside the cupboard next to her, “you are missing a plate.”
“Why? Is Mark coming after all?”
Y/M/N’s face went white in only a second as she realized what she had just said. Not knowing what to do else, Y/N handed her the white plate. Looking sideways to Jake, she hoped he hadn’t heard - she didn’t want him to find out like this, when his whole family was going to be here in the next thirty minutes.
It was already too late though; Jake’s attention had of course switched to their awkward interaction. Her father was quick to step in, wiping his hands on a cloth and moving towards his wife.
“Of course he is, darling. Let me help you bring those into the dining room.”
Y/N watched them disappear before quickly turning back to the carrots she was now cutting in a Julienne, praying Jake would just drop the subject. Ever since she had learned that Jake was having a leave, she had planned their reunion to be perfect. She had purposely lied to his family, pretending to have a very big news to share with them so they all agreed to gather even if the atmosphere was not good. She had made them promise to bury the hatchet, for “her” and most absolutely for Jack. Whatever touchy topics they would have to talk about, they could do it after.
“Why wouldn’t he come?” Jake still asked and, at that moment, she knew that whatever she would tell him would never be sufficient to not draw his suspicion any further. She couldn’t lie to him even if she tried.
“Just been busing with work lately, you know how it is.”
Without letting him time to ask more questions, Y/N went for the stoves to make sure the sauce was still reducing as it should have. She could feel Jake’s eyes burning holes on her back and could only hope he would drop the subject.
“Jake, son,” Y/F/N had just gotten back from the dining room, “would you mind giving me a hand with the roast?”
After taking a last look at Y/N, still very focused on stirring the sauce, Jake turned to her father. It wasn’t until she didn’t feel his eyes on her that she turned to look at him. She watched as her father made him took out the turkey so he could put some more butter on it. Out of the corner of his eye his father gives him a reassuring wink signalling her he had got this.
The bell rang at the exact same moment Y/N put the last plate of hors d’oeuvres at the centre of the table. Shooting a look across the piece, she saw her father squeezing Jake’s shoulder in what seemed to comfort him. She smiled shyly, trying to hide her own nervousness. Thanks to her father, Jake had nearly forgotten about the earlier incident about Mark and the reason he wouldn’t have been able to make it. He hadn’t asked any other questions, and they hadn’t given away other secrets. All was well in the best of all words, or so she still tried to convince herself. It was all that mattered.
“Just like we said, you both stay here, and we’ll bring them for you.”
Y/N watched as her parents disappeared in the hall. She turned to Jake who she now realized he was close at her side - she knew from the way his lips were set in a tight smile that he was somehow nervous. When noises started coming from the hall, Y/N grabbed Jake’s hand without thinking. She needed him to know she was there, that she would always be there, just like they promised when they were younger. It would take much more than a thousand of miles and a few hiccups to take them apart. As if he was thinking the exact same thing, Jake squeezed her hand back.
Jake’s step-dad was the first to enter the dining room. Y/N saw his eyes go from herself to Jake right next to her side, his eyes lighting up in realization. Yet, he didn’t say anything, holding a finger to his lips to let them know he would stay silent while moving further into the room as if nothing had happened. He and Jake had never been particularly close; he was a good man, a good husband, and a good father to his daughters, but Jake’s fatherly figure had always been Y/N’s father.
Next to enter the room was Jake’s youngest step-sister, Sophia. She immediately spotted him, letting out a cry and running into his arms. He crushed his sister in one of those same hugs he gave Y/N when she picked him up from the airport. It warmed her heart to see them like that. Sophia was still very young when Jake had enrolled; she was only just a kid and had grown up with the lack of his older brother. She was looking up to him so much that Y/N had sometimes to remind her that he didn’t have only qualities. He was her hero in so many ways…
Sophia’s reaction got the rest of the family - his mother, Olivia, his other step-sister, and his step-brother, Mark - in the dining room quite quickly. There were a lot of “Jake!” shouted from across the room and loads of tears, happy smiles, and hugs.
“I can’t believe he is here.” Sophia cried again; this time she was in Y/N’s arms. “And I can’t believe you lied to us.”
“Sorry not sorry,” Y/N smiled, tugging a string of her hair behind her ears before bringing her in an even closer hug if it was possible. She wasn’t sure she had seen her this happy in her life, she realized.
Y/N was an only child with a very little family. Over the years, Jake’s family had grown to be her own as well. As children first, as they were always all together at either one’s house or the others. As teenagers when his step-sisters weren’t babies anymore and they had started to be able to play more with them. She remembered helping his mom getting both of his sisters ready for school, all of them celebrating Christmas at her parents or going dress shopping for Olivia’s first prom.
Ever since Jake had been deployed on the West Coast and later overseas, they had grown even closer. There were brunches on Sundays, just the three of them, where Sophia would file them up on her latest dating adventures. There were lunches at Olivia’s office after they had taken a midday yoga class. There were breakfasts with Sophia before her classes began. Y/N had always made sure they were alright, as if she had to do it for Jake.
So far, the lunch had turned out great.
Jake had told them all about his last position and this group of pilots he had been joining overseas. Everyone had started feeding him bits and pieces of what had occurred ever since the last time he’s been home. Olivia and Mark had managed not to fight, which was a miracle in itself, per Y/N’s opinion. Jake’s mom had finally stopped crying. And Sophia seemed to have forgotten about those hard choices she would have to make once she graduated from college at the end of the year.
At least, that was the case until Jake asked about it.
“So, any thoughts yet about what you’ll do next year?”
“No, not really.”
Y/N had already seen that look on Sophia’s face. It was the same one she made when she was hesitating between an avocado toast and pancakes at the place they were used to going to brunch; every time she had been making this face, she had ended up with ordering both. Sophia eyed her tentatively and Y/N immediately shook her head no, silently pleading her not to do whatever she was thinking.
Today was not the day. Jake had only gotten back from abroad hours ago, they would have enough time to discuss it in the next couple of days.
“I am thinking of enrolling,” Sophia stated abruptly.
Boom.
The bomb had landed.
Y/N sighed, mentally cursing Sophia for needing whatever validation from him. They all had talked about this extensively for months on now. Decide to enrol was one thing, accept that one of your relative would do the same was another. She knew how Jake was; he didn’t look like it at first sight, but his family was his everything. He had made the selfish decision that could result in them losing him forever, yet he wouldn’t accept that she’d do the same.
From the deathly silence that came after Sophia’s statement, Y/N rested the cutlery on the side of her plate, bracing herself for whatever had to come. Her attitude made Jake immediately turned to her. She had never seen the wrinkle between his eyebrows this deep before. She didn’t know if it was from dread, disappointment, or anger.
“You knew?”
Jaw tight, Y/N didn’t answer, and Jake huffed - of course, she knew. How could she not? She was here, with his own family, when he was thousands of miles away fighting for his country. She was here, only a ride away, when he couldn’t even remember the last time he had enough telephone network to FaceTime them. She was there, physically with them, when he was just a ghost, present for a few days a year before disappearing for months on hand.
Y/N tried to reach out for his left arm to try and calm the whole situation down, but he moved ever so slightly she couldn’t touch him. The fire in Jake’s green eyes was incandescent. He was angry, with Sophia, with her, with everyone. And to know he didn’t even know half of it…
“Let’s not start now,” his older step-sister stepped in to try and reason him.
“Why?” Jake retorted immediately. “Wanna updates me on what is going on with Mark as well?”
Olivia opened her mouth to answer and as she couldn’t seem to find something to say, she then closed it and lowered her head. She and Mark had officially announced a few weeks before Jake returned that they were going to take some time apart. They had been married for nearly three years and they were having a rough path. They had started couple therapy, trying to make things work. Y/N couldn’t count the hours Olivia had spent on her couch, crying and eating ice-creams.
Y/N knew exactly how she felt like. The deception of thinking she had found the love of her life only to realize it was more complex than this. The sadness of loving someone and it still not being enough for the two of them to be happy. The paralyzing fear of being alone, of never being well enough.
She needed a shoulder to cry onto and a lot of love, and not to be reminded of what a failure she thought she was.
“I am sorry,” Sophia mumbled. Y/N wasn’t sure to whom she was apologizing. Jake? Them?
“You can’t seriously be thinking about it?” Jake half-shouted, pointing her finger at her like he was accusing her of the worst betrayal.
“Don’t say anything you’d regret, son.”
Y/N’s father word seemed to put some sense into him as he leaned his back against his chair, folding his arms against his chest. The distress on Sophia’s face was now palpable and she was on the verge of crying from Jake’s quite violent reaction. Though she didn’t expect Jake to be totally supportive, Y/N had not expected him to reject the idea that much either. She had thought that he would’ve still listen to her reasons, maybe try to talk her out of it, but finally make peace with the idea. Just like they had. Just like they all had when he was in her shoes.
Olivia had regained her composure and wrapped an arm around her sister’ shoulders. The look she sent Jake probably refrained him from attacking again his little sister. Instead, he chose another target for his anger.
“How can anybody be cool with this?”
Before Jake’s mom could speak, Y/N called him out. “Why could you do it and not her, Jake, huh?” She wants to be like you so bad, don’t you see?
“That’s not the same thing.”
Y/N huffed and rolled her eyes.
It made her even bitter. For all the things he hadn’t told her when he had no reason to hide it from her. For him being hurt that they didn’t want to discuss as such important topics over the phone. She would have liked to be sorry to hide all this from him, yet his reaction had only comfort her on her choice.
“You’re being unfair.”
“Am I now?” he laughed. “Excuse me for putting my life at sake and not wishing for me sister to do the same.”
“Did anybody ask you to? If anything, we would all have loved to keep you by our side.”
“Oh, I see. So, this is all my fault, right?”
The daring look he offered her made her heart jump in her chest. Her stomach was in fire; consuming her from the inside. She was tired from the sleepless nights she had for the last few months. And sad about the outcome of this lunch. And disappointed in him. And quite frankly done with his attitude.
Sighing, she gave in and looked away, throwing her napkin on her plate at the same time. Whatever this was, it was too much for her to handle. “If you’d excuse me,” she announced as she moved her chair back. “I am not hungry anymore.”
“Y/N-” he called after her, grabbing her arm to make her stay. She gave him a pained look before abruptly pulling away from his grip.
“Welcome home, Jake.”
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Jake’s face appeared once again on her phone screen.
Big bright smile, sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, forehead sun-kissed by the first rays of sunshine of spring. The picture had been taken one of the few times she had fly out to California to visit him. They had such a good time that Y/N used to hold all those memories close to her heart. Now, she couldn’t even look at it.
She couldn’t count the number of texts Jake had sent nor the number of messages he had left on her voice mail. She hadn’t read nor listened to any of them and had even decided to turn off her phone at some point during the night. She needed some time alone to take a breath and to swallow the disappointment that was forming a lump in her throat.
Despite the emotional roller coaster this day had been, she hadn't fallen asleep until late in the night, turning over in the sheet nonstop while thinking of all the comebacks she could have said to his face. And like every other night for months now, when she had finally managed to get some sleep, her worst nightmare had woken her up a couple of hours later.
It only made her feel worse and she cried all the tears in her body. It was like whatever emotion she had retained in the last year had come back to her like a wrecking ball. She was angry for all sorts of reasons all linked to Jake one way or another. She was also very sad of the situation she found herself into, of Jake having spoiled their reunion, of the spectacle she had given in front of her loved ones.
So, when she turned on her phone a few hours later, eyes still puffy and red from the lack of sleep and the crying, she didn’t hesitate to turn down his call when his smiley face appeared on her phone screen. At that time, she discovered the multiple texts and missed calls of her parents and Jake’s sisters. She sent them a quick group message, letting them know she was fine and that she would catch up later. Leaving her phone on the kitchen counter, she got ready for her day.
Her phone rang four more times while she was getting ready. She was now determined to let him know to leave her alone. She was still pissed, and she needed to compose herself. This was without counting on the doorbell ringing when she was about to answer her phone.
Stopping whatever she was doing, she made the few steps from the kitchen counter to her apartment door, opening it without even thinking who she would find behind. Much to her surprise it was the only person she didn’t want to see. Jake. Standing there, phone in his hand.
“Oh, come on!” he exclaimed when she nearly shut the door in his face.
He stopped it before it was fully closed and after a deep sigh, Y/N let him in without even giving him a look. She closed the door behind him, passing him - still without looking at him - and went to the living room. She leaned against the kitchen counter, crossing her arms on her chest much like he had done during lunch just the day before.
Jake stood in the middle of the room, watching around him. It was the first time he was in her new place, the one she started rented after she broke up with her long-term boyfriend. It wasn’t much, only a one-bedroom apartment with a sanitized decor - she hadn’t had the heart to make it her own. It was close to her work and not a too long drive from her parents; it was all she really needed.
Y/N studied him in silence. He must not have had the memo about the Texas weather at that time of the year as he was only wearing a beige sweater, sleeves rolled up. It wasn’t much of a surprise he had forgotten how it was; he had spent so little time home in the last ten years.
When her eyes finally got to his face, she realized he was now staring at her. She tried reading him like she could before, but what she found in his eyes, she couldn’t interpret. Perhaps something had been broken between them. Perhaps there were only so much absence someone could handle. Perhaps they had let the miles come in between them for real this time.
She couldn’t tell how long they stayed like this before he finally spoke.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Long gone was the hope she had that he would apologize.
Jake had never been one to be wrong; he was probably even the most stubborn person she had ever met. Though she liked this confidence in him, she also knew it was hiding something much deeper. His trauma of being abandoned by his father when he was still a toddler. The fear of his loved ones realizing what a failure he was, despite everything he had already accomplished. The fear of never being enough.
He had assured her it wasn’t one of the reasons he had enrolled, and she knew he was lying to her just as much he was lying to himself. But she wasn’t her twenty-something-self; she wasn’t going to protect his feelings anymore. Now that they didn’t have an audience, she could lay her cards on the table.
“Do you mean, just like you didn’t tell us about the ejection seat accident that you had six months ago?”
She saw his face drop ever so slightly before he regained his composure back. She wasn’t the only one keeping things from him, yet contrary to him, the things she was keeping a secret weren’t really hers anyway.
“How would you know?”
“Javy called me that time,” she stated dryly, memories of the call she got in the middle of the night flowing to her head. She still had nightmares about it most nights. “He wanted me to know in case your brain injury worsened, and they had to call your family.”
This secret, she had never told anyone and had carried the weight of it on her own until now. She had smiled and assured everyone that all was fine for the days - sixteen in total - they didn’t hear from him; how could he, he had been literally in a 24h surveillance at the hospital. She had had Javy on the phone to report every little detail he had of Jake’s evolution. She hadn’t had sleep for weeks straight and had nearly cried when Jake had called him after a very busy and unexpected mission he took part in - another way for putting he had just got cleared from the hospital.
“It was nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing, Jake! You got banned from flying for six weeks. Six fucking weeks!”
“And yet, it wasn’t the first time I ended up in the hospital, nor was it the last time. You know that’s part of the job.”
Y/N snorted.
Like hell she knew. The job description went with never being in the same time zone as your loved ones, missing every single milestone in their life, putting his very own safety at risk so they could all be free and safe, and omitting all details of the national security missions to which he was taking part. She was pretty sure though there was no line in his contract about lying about his health, especially when he could have died, to his family.
For some reason, this whole situation had made his absence even worse. She realized he didn’t feel safe to let them know when things had gone bad; if this time she had known, she couldn’t even imagine all those other times Javy hadn’t been there to inform her. It had awakened a visceral (and most likely also irrational) fear in her. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing him and she still wasn’t ready to accept it.
“Why is this such a big deal when you knew what was going in here and didn’t even tell me?”
If she hadn’t been this tired, Y/N would have probably walked to him to slap him. How could he compare his near-death experience to his sisters’ decisions? How could any of it be equivalent?
“This was not my truth to tell,” she only replied blankly.
Yes, she wasn’t very proud of hiding things from Jake and lying on purpose. But she wasn’t thirteen any longer and when people confided in her - when she promised she wouldn’t tell him anything - she wasn’t going to go running to her best friend to spill all the tea.
“Will you then tell me the truth about what really happened between you and the other dickhead?”
“I already told you everything,” she answered dryly, a little bit too quickly for it not to be suspicious.
“I don’t believe you.”
Y/N knew from the sound of his voice it was pure provocation. He gave her the same daring look she had just seen the day before - the same consuming flame was in his eyes - and she could see his infamous smirk dawning on his lips. She wondered why he wanted to prove just how right he was - how he was always right - so bad. It made her skin scramble how infuriating he was.
She didn’t answer right away and stared at him, arms crossed on her chest a little bit tighter to protect herself. Everything that was happening was only making her angrier towards him. He had ruined everything, and he had just decided to continue on doing so.
She had dreamt about him coming home for months and months, to have him by her side and now, she could only wish for him to go away. The anger, the pain, the animosity; it was all too much. She couldn’t keep up anymore.
“What do you want me to tell you, huh? How much of a great boyfriend and man he was, but that it still wasn’t enough? How much a horrible person I am for not being able to fall in love with a person that would devote his own life to try and make me happy?”
Jake opened his mouth to respond, but closed it as the words sank in. It all made sense to him suddenly. Why she seemed to be relieved it was all over. Why she didn’t call him after he broke her heart. Why, on the rare occasion he had discussed the break-up with his sisters, they had never talked badly about her ex-boyfriend. He didn’t break her heart. He never did.
She was the one breaking his.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he asked, this time his voice much softer.
How could she? When it all started with his accident - that she wasn’t even supposed to know of. When it took her five years of a stable relationship to realize her longtime boyfriend had never have been the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. When it took her half of her adult life to understand she had been lying to herself for almost all her life and that even now, she didn’t know her truth from her lies any more.
Knowing the truth, Jake didn’t know what to say. He wanted to feel sorry, he wanted to tell her he was. But was he really? It would be lying to say he didn’t exult when he had heard of the break-up... On the day she introduced him to Nick, they he had discussed - quite vividly - about the country actions in Afghanistan - one of the campaigns he had just come home from - and from that day, Jake had just decided he wouldn’t like the man. He hadn’t been very subtle about disliking him, but in his opinion, Nick had paid him back in his own coin: monopolizing Y/N whenever Jake had her on the phone, making her choose between the two of them when he had had the opportunity to fly her oversea. He still felt nauseous to recall how Y/N had seemed to only look at him every time Nick was in the room with them.
He made a few steps in her direction, going to comfort her, but Y/N only shook her head. She wouldn’t let any of this go so easily. It wasn’t because she had confided in him, that he now knew all the truth from her part, that everything else would be forgotten. There were still a lot of unspoken truth to uncover.
“Why are you really here, Jake?”
“What do you mean?”
“The reason you got this leave, what is it?”
They stood less than a metre away, eyes in eyes. Jake never felt so vulnerable as every time she looked at him as if she could read his soul. He knew she was looking for something. Something he couldn’t give her.
Looking away, he answered, “It’s nothing.”
“That’s what I thought.”
Y/N slipped away before he could even react. He watched as she turned back towards the front door. She opened it without a word and looked into his eyes as she stood leaned against it.
“Goodbye, Jake.”
And this time, he didn’t even try to fight.
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Javy: Hey, got Hangman on the phone today. You okay?
Y/N: Did he vent at you for calling me that one time?
Javy: Almost.
Javy: He wasn’t really angry though. Just frustrated I guess.
Y/N: I bet. Wasn’t really the nice little break he must have planned.
Javy: If there is anything to learn from all this it is that truth is better spoken from the person they apply to.
Javy: You should talk to him.
Y/N: Yeah well I’ll see about that.
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Jake was very nervous, and he wasn’t very nervous a lot.
In fact, he was pretty sure the last time he was that nervous was when he had picked Y/N up for their senior prom. Just like every year since starting high school, she had been his date - though Chad nearly had taken her away from him, but this dumbass had broken up with her only a couple of weeks before prom. That year, for some reason, everything felt different. High school years were coming to an end, they were both going to different universities. Everything was about to change, and it would never be the same. Jake had dreaded taking their relationship to the next level. If only he had known that despite going to different universities, Jake enrolling and basically the two of them living their life in parallel, their relationship had made it.
More or less so... It had been three days now since the lunch at her parents, two since their other discussion - if he would call this an argument, he was still unsure - and today was the first time he was seeing her since then.
After spending time with his family, he was on his way to meet with some of their childhood friends. Normally, Y/N was one of them and she had been invited. But with the recent events, he didn’t know if she would be here. He had had time to reflect on what had been said and finally had apologized to her voice mail as she wouldn’t let his calls through. He had given her plenty of time and space, sending in only a couple of good mornings and good nights texts, just like he was used to. Yet he didn’t know what to expect.
When he spotted her already sat at the table he had booked, his heart started pounding furiously. It gave him hope not everything between them had been broken.
“Hey,” Jake greeted Y/N softly when he had gotten at her level.
Y/N only nodded, barely looking at him, before continuing her discussion with their friend, Monica, like nothing had happened. Jake swallowed the lump in his throat before continuing to greet everyone around the table.
In all those diners they had had with their friends when he had been home, she would have been sat next to him, so close but merely touching. He would have had his arm resting nonchalantly on the back of her chair. He would have whispered all sorts of things in her ears, and she would have laughed open light-heartedly at every single one of his jokes.
That night, she was sat as far as possible from him and he had difficulty focusing on the group discussion, his mind going back to her every time. He probably went the whole evening looking at her not so subtly in the hope she would like to give him a look. She did not.
“You good?” Matt, sat at his side, asked him after the main course.
“Yeah,” Jake answered though the little tremor in his voice didn’t reflect confidence.
“Just give her a little time. It’s just a lot, y’know.”
Jake only nodded.
The problem was indeed just that: time. His flight back was in two days now and she was supposed to be his ride. He knew she would be able to drop him off without speaking a word, while he sat there in the agonizing silence. He was sure he was not able to do it for a couple of hours, he couldn’t imagine what it would be to not have her speak to him every again. He couldn’t get back to combat with Y/N still mad at him. He needed to fix things. He had been able to do it with his sisters; he had to do it with Y/N.
Indeed, the lunch had finished soon after Y/N’s dramatic departure. His sisters hadn’t spoken another word to him, and Y/N’s parents had tried to maintain some semblance of a conversation. Jake had taken a quick walk to clear his mind before going to his parents.
He had sat down with Olivia first and then Sophia, so they could tell him everything that had been going on. He sat there listening to what they had to say until they were done. There had been a lot of crying on their side (only a tiny little bit on his side - most likely because he had a dust in the eye, he would say). In the end, they had hugged and laughed and remembered that they loved each other and that nothing could be more important than that.
He had realized Olivia seemed much more at peace, somehow differently but also similarly to Y/N’s. She had so many plans on her side - buying a house, planning a trip to Europe, getting a puppy – as if she had just discovered she could be a unique person outside her marriage and she genuinely was happier.
The talk with Sophia had been a little bit more sensitive. The idea of her enrolling made his blood boiling, but he had remained calm – or at least tried to - and listened to her reasons. If he was afraid to see himself in her, her reasons were solely different than his. She didn’t want this only to do like him; it was more that he had paved the way for her. He had made her promise to think some more about it - at least, graduate from college before deciding anything - and he had promised to be supportive. He would have some work on himself, but he would cross that bridge when he’d get there.
They had of course talked about Y/N and how she was carrying the whole family on her shoulders. She always made sure everyone was alright, answering her phone at 3 a.m. to pick up Sophia from a frat party gone wild, welcoming Olivia in her tiny apartment - giving her the only bed to sleep on the couch, despite her protest - the time she turned things round after Mark and she had decided to take some time apart. She even made sure their mother was alright when his step-dad was away for business, bringing her homemade meals that she only had to heat up and keeping her company.
If he always knew what an amazingly caring person she was, it only proved him right. He would be forever grateful she was the first person to have talked to him on his first day of kindergarten. He would be forever grateful for the woman she was. If he was honest with himself, it all made him love her even more.
He wasn’t ready to watch her from afar - well, from much far away than his current position - but he would do it (or at least try), should she ask him to…
After what seemed to be an eternity, the evening finally came to an end.
Jake didn’t get the opportunity to speak to Y/N though he hesitated multiple times to just call her out or walk to her and demand that they had a chat. She was currently bidding goodbye to everyone in front of the restaurant, and Jake was watching her attentively to ambush her just as soon as she was finished. He didn’t care if he would be rude to anyone by not saying thank you for coming and goodbye; he needed to talk to her.
After she hugged Monica and promised to let her know when she got home safely, she reached for her car key in her bag and made her way to her car without even looking at him. Jake took his luck and followed her. He called after her, but she refused to acknowledge him.
“Can we not?”
“Why?” she turned around suddenly. “Want me to tell you anything else?”
“Y/N, please.”
She only raised an eyebrow before turning back and continuing walking. Too bad for her, Jake wasn’t one to give up this easily. He followed her lead up to her car that she started to unlock to get in. A wave of panic got through him as he could feel her slip away from his fingers and he didn’t want that. If they didn’t have this talk now, he was not sure they would have it at all.
“I only have two days left,” he said, interposing himself between the closed door and her. “Please.”
Y/N froze at only a few centimetres away from him. She seemed to think about what options she had. Unfortunately for her, there just wasn’t much as she couldn’t make Jake move even if she wanted to. So, she chose the reasonable choice. She crossed her arms over her chest and listened.
“I-” he sighed, passing a hand on his face, frustration clearly visible on his face now. “There has been an incident. We lost two men.”
Y/N’s arms immediately dropped to her side; the mask she wore on her face cracked. She could have been angry he lied to her, yet again, but this time, it was too serious. People died. The command had given them time off because of it. It only reminded her it could end at any time. She really could lose him.
“Jake,” she sighed.
“I-”
His voice broke and Y/N didn’t hesitate to go in for a hug. Out of habits, his arms found her waist and he buried his face in her hair. He breathed her perfume in, trying to ground himself and not totally lose it. She was his rock. There were no ways he would still be here if it wasn’t for her waiting for him at home.
He couldn’t lose her.
“I can only imagine the worry I cause you all,” he muttered in her hair. “I didn’t want to add anything to it.”
Y/N grabbed his face with both her hands and forced him to look at her. She wore a small frown on her eyebrows and determination in her eyes. While she was touched he wanted to spare their feelings, not knowing what was going on was even worse. She couldn’t count the number of times she had thought he was dead when an unknown number had called her phone. In order to support him the best way they could, they needed to know.
“Getting you back in one piece is our priority,” she started, voice bold as if she wanted him to engrave her words in his head. “That’s why we are keeping things to ourselves. We don’t want you to worry about us when you should be solely focused on staying alive.”
Jake half-smiled in return, which made Y/N relax a bit. Her hands fall on his shoulder as he kept her close to him, so close that there was no space between their two bodies. They had realized they wanted the exact same thing for one another: for them to be safe and sound.
“I worry about you all, all the time. I worry about you, all the time,” he confessed, his voice still low.
Jake reached out to tuck a loose string of hair behind her ear and Y/N instinctively leaned in his touch. It was like this between them, easy and pure. It always had. Sometimes - like these last past days, they were so caught up in life they seemed to forget what they had was so unique. Every time they had found their way back to each other.
“I left you alone while I am off, living my dream.”
“Don’t say it like you could have made any other choice, Jake.”
“I don’t regret it,” he answered right back. “Yet if I had to do it all over again, there are a lot of things about you that I would do a whole lot differently.”
Y/N nodded slowly, her heart rate slightly going up. If they often shared I-love-you’s more out of habits than anything else - though they were always genuine, Jake had never really expressed out loud how he felt about her, and from the electricity in the air - totally different from the explosive tension that had built up until now, she could feel there were more to it.
“It’s never too late, they say,” he smiled softly, his hand making it to the back of her neck.
Y/N hold her breath, searching in his eyes if he was being serious and if he was really wanting to finish the conversation they had started the night of their senior prom. If he wanted to do it right here, right now in a parking lot. It was a conversation that could have totally changed their life if they had it. A conversation for which they every so often imagined what they would have said if fear hadn’t stopped them.
If there were much younger back then, nothing now had changed at all.
“I’ve always been yours,” Y/N whispered. It would be lying if relief hadn’t wash over Jake. Of course he had known - he had always known - yet, hearing it was another thing.
“I know.”
Y/N’s bright eyes saw his eyes dove down to her lips, only a dozen of centimetres away she realized now, then back to her eyes. Her cheeks were burning up from the anticipation of what was to come. Yet, lost in each other’s eyes, none of them moved.
At that moment, the world could have stopped that they wouldn’t have noticed. Nothing else but them mattered.
“Well, kiss me then.”
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vivwritesfics · 7 months ago
Text
Hungry Like The Wolf
Chapter Two
She hadn't seen her best friend, Lando, in years. She didn't run into him the last time she was visiting her father and she doubted she'd see him this time. Things were different now. She wasn't aware of his furry little problem. Just like she wasn't aware of the vampires plaguing the town.
1.4K
Vampire!Oscar x Reader x Werewolf!Lando
Series Masterlist
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It came as no surprise that Jack didn't recognise his big sister. It was heart breaking, sure, and Toto wanted to do something about it.
"Jack really likes that cafe in town," he said as he sat on the end of his daughters bed. She had spent the previous evening rearranging her desk to better allow her to get on with work. "You could take him and get some work done at the same time," he suggested.
She gave a small nod. "Yeah, if Susie is okay with me taking him," she said.
"It was Susie's idea."
Before she knew it she was out of the house, holding Jack's hand with her laptop bag over her shoulder. She waved at her dad as she started down the driveway, heading further into the town.
That was until she collided with a firm chest. She let go of Jack to not drag him with her, as strong arms wrapped around her keeping her up. "You okay the- Y/N?"
She looked into the strangers lovely eyes, taking a moment before she recognised him. "Lando? Lando Norris?"
He once again wrapped his arms around her, this time in a friendly manner. But she pushed away from him, got a better look at him and felt his chest. Lando went slightly red at that, but he didn't pull away. "You've really grown," she said with a grin, once again reaching for Jack's hand.
"So have you, uhh..." he began. She didn't know that he had been watching over her from the moment she arrived, that he had orchestrated this meeting from the moment she arrived. But, now that he was here, he didn't know what to say.
"So, uh, Jack and I are heading to Renee's Cafe. Do you wanna come with?"
Renee's cafe. That was on the other side of town. The vampire side of town. Even if he wanted to, Lando couldn't go, not without breaking a multitude of laws. He shook his head. "I can't, but we could exchange phone numbers? That way we could plan to meet," he said.
"Love it," she called as she pulled her phone from her bag. She passed it over to Lando, letting him punch in his number before they went their separate ways.
Well, she thought they went their separate ways. She and Jack headed to the cafe, Lando retreated back down the road. He kept turning around though, waiting until she and Jack were out of sight. As soon as they were out of sight, he dove into the woods and followed her scent until he got to the vampire side of town.
There he paced, thick paws crushing the twigs on his path.
Holding Jack's hand, she walked him into the cafe. They sat at the very back, she left Jack there with her bag while she got them both something to eat and drink.
As soon as it had been ordered she sat back down opposite her half brother. Jack looked around the cafe, but he wouldn't look at her. She sucked in a breath and leaned back in her chair. "You have no idea who I am," she said, and Jack shook his head. "That's okay. I haven't been around very much. Their drinks were placed in front of them, along with pastries.
She tried to ask Jack as many questions as she could, but he wasn't very willing to answer. It was okay, though. She understood. She was nothing more than a stranger to him at that point.
"Wanna head home?" She asked him once they'd finished eating.
Jack nodded his head. He hopped out of his chair as she grabbed her bag and took him out of the cafe. "What're you gonna do when we get home?" She asked as she led him out of the cafe.
Jack shrugged his shoulders.
"Has dad taught you any German yet?"
He nodded his head. "Polish, too," he said and she gave him a small smile.
But she was too concentrated on her little brother. She wasn't looking where she was going as they wandered through the parking lot and smacked right into something.
Just like she had with Lando, she let go of Jack's hand as a pair of strong arms wrapped around her, holding her up. This time, when she looked up at the owner of the arms, she didn't recognise him.
His skin was pale and a few moles were dotted around on his face. His eyes were a lovely shade of brown and his hair fell over his forehead, parted down the middle. He was gorgeous, that was undeniable.
“I'm so sorry about that,” he said in an Australian accent, a polite smile on his face as he released his hold on her, his fingertips brushing against the exposed skin of her arm. He was cold to the touch.
She shook her head and readjusted her bag on her shoulder. “No, no,” she began. “It was my fault, I wasn't looking where I was going.”
The kind stranger kept staring at her. “Are you new in town? I haven't seen you before,” she said.
“Uh, yeah. Sort of,” she answered. “I'm here visiting my dad.”
Suddenly Jack was in front of her, waving up at the pale stranger. “Hi, Oscar,” he said.
Oscar. She looked at his face as the name played in her head. It suited him. He certainly looked like an Oscar. “Hey Jack,” he said as he mussed up his hair. “Who're you with today?”
“This is my sister,” he answered.
Oscar snapped his eyes towards her. “I didn't know Toto and Susie had a daughter,” he said.
“That's because they don't,” she answered, somewhat lightheartedly. “Toto is my dad, yeah, but Susie is my stepmother. I'm visiting for a few weeks.” She held her hand towards him. “I'm Y/N.”
He took her hand, skin so cold against her own it sent a shiver down her spine. “Oscar. It's nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you too,” she replied, finally letting go of his hand. She placed her hands on Jack's shoulders. “Well I’m gonna get this guy home. It really was nice to meet you, Oscar.”
He waved as she walked away, unable to look away from her. She had smelled so sweet, the fragrance overtaking Oscars senses. That was how he had bumped into her, because of her scent and the sound of her heart thumping in her chest. Desperately he wanted to chase after her, but he hung back, restraining himself.
Hie smell, the smell of vampire clung to her as she walked back to the werewolf side of town. Lando couldn't help but growl as the smells mixed together. He knew exactly which vampire she had come into contact with, as well.
Oscar. He was the vampire who loved to provoke Lando. He was the one who nearly had Lando breaking the treaty the vampires and the werewolves had created all those hundreds of years ago.
Oscar had touched his girl. And he was pissed about it.
Lando watched from the bushes as she and Jack entered the house. As soon as they were inside he turned away and ran back to his pack. He skillfully moved around the trees at the high speeds he was travelling to get back to them.
When he got there Daniel and Sergio were outside, wresting. It wasn't an uncommon sight to see two members of the back trying to push one another out of the circle. “DR,” Lando called and the two of them split apart.
Sweaty and out of breath, his tattoos on show, Daniel approached his much younger pack mate. He was the friendliest in the pack and had accidentally become friends with one of the vampires, Max.
“Talk to your boy for me,” he said, biting back a growl. “Tell him to tell the other blood suckers to stay away from the Wolff family.”
Daniel watched him for a minute. Lando was the youngest of all of them. He had little control over his emotions and Daniel could tell he was ready to burst. “Shirt off, jump in the ring with us,” he said,gesturing back to Checo.
Sucking in a breath, Lando did just that.
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timeforaneclipse · 14 days ago
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Falling Apart (Lilia Calderu x reader)
Chapter Two
Available on AO3
Warnings? - Angst hehe
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  "Right, Mins, Time... to do your thing!" Agatha urged as she waved you on. A sigh left your lips as the coven looked at your with expectance. Feeling like an idiot you stared back. An awkwardness in the air. Your thing? Right... your thing. Forcing your shoulder's to relax, you turned away from the coven and faced the road ahead. Closing your eyes, you stood for a moment before reopening them to discover a trail of.... bright green smoke? Agatha smirked like the devil when she noticed your eyes change from it's normal hue to a gentle golden. "You see it don't you?" She leaned in close and whispered. Then, without another word, you began to walk. Agatha and the boy by her side, Teen, wasted no time in following. The others lingered slightly behind but followed all the same. 
As you walked, you jumped as the woman at the back spoke out. Breaking your focus. "You know what this is?" You raised an eyebrow at her raised voice as you turned back to look at her. "This is a kidnapping, And I think it is about high time we involve the local authorities." She announced as she rummaged through her bag. A frown left your lips, confusion laced in your eyes. A kidnapping? Then it hit you. Your mouth became thin as you glanced to Agatha. She looked at you as if to say 'what?' before shrugging off your silent conversation. Not that it surprised you. It was Agatha after all. Yet, you felt a little bit of pity for the poor woman Agatha had tricked into coming. 
Jennifer, seeming having enough of holding her tongue, looked around in slight annoyance. "Are we gonna ignore the fact that something chased us down here?" You couldn't find it in yourself to disagree with her. She had a point. The Salem Seven weren't something to just be.. ignored. Sharing a subtle glance with Agatha, you hid your concern. You still remembered the time that your sister, brightest transformation witch that had ever dared to be, was once approached by them. She had barely escaped with her life. Alice turned her body weight to Agatha, gesturing to her as she corrected that they had chased Agatha. Mrs hart, who was messing with her phone, frowned and slightly panicked when she discovered there was no cell service.  
"Well, Whatever chased Agatha down here, it's our problem now." Lilia's tone was sombre with a slight hint of annoyance as she sent a side glance towards Agatha. You held your tongue as you continued to take the lead in the walk.  Debating whether or not you should say something about the Salem Seven and who- No, what they really were. You decided to keep walking. Following the path lay out before you. Zoning out, you didn't bother to listen to the present conversation. As you walked, you kept your eyes on the trees around you while the group continued to bicker amongst each other. Jennifer caught your ear as she was complaining about not knowing what the group was up against. You paused. She had a point. No one, besides maybe Agatha, had an idea on what you all intended on facing. Lilia, deep in thought, looked down for a moment. "Tame your fears." she said, her eyes dawning with realisation.  You looked back to her. "That's what we're up against." she frowned. "Our worst nightmares."
You felt yourself grow nervous. Our worst nightmares? Swallowing, you tried to hide your feelings and remain unnerved. Agatha seemed to catch on, however. blue eyes scanned your frame. Yet the older witch seemed to share your... feelings. Alice then asked Agatha what the trials were like. "The... road will test us." She began. "And our knowledge of the craft." Everyone seemed to share a look. A silent conversation. "One trial for each skill." Agatha finalised, studying the group. Jennifer looked absolutely appalled as she questioned how they were to pass with no magic. You frowned and gave a side ways glance to Agatha. 
Teen, who seemed to be ever full surprises, stepped forward. There was a wide grin on his face as he spoke. "Well, there's always analog magic. You know, labour-intensive, manual acts of magic." He said like it was obvious. "Witchcraft!" he practically sang once her realised he had lost the group. "Emphases on the 'craft'." He forced a smile. Jennifer then asked the question that had been scratching your head since you met the boy. Who was he? "I'm-" Silence. You noticed the Sigil run across the boys mouth after he spoke. 
Your eyes narrowed. How... Unusual. "Well, Ill be." Lilia smirked. "Someone's put a sigil on that boy." Then everyone, yourself included, looked to Agatha. You knew her well. It wasn't unlike her to do something like this. But the looks from the group only made her scoff. 
"Don't look at me. I didn't put that clumsy glamour on him." She shrugged. "Sigils are beneath me."
As Teen looked confused, he asked what a sigil was. You were done observing the group and decided to let your own mouth loose. "A sigil is a type of spell, yes." You forced a smile to the boy. "In your case, the sigil appears to be a redaction spell." You began, adjusting your glasses. "Which means to... remove words or information." Your explanation was rather simple. "So... for better or for worse, you are hidden from witch folk. it's rather interesting." You summarised. "the only question is... why?" You hummed, your clawed nails drumming against your arm. 
 Jennifer watched you as you finished. "Looks like Agatha brought a sparkly little mystery with her." She sassed, ignoring Agatha's slight glare of annoyance. 
"She was probably trying to keep him all to herself." Lilia hummed, with slight false amusement in her tone.
Agatha pulled Teen behind her as he asked why someone would want to hide him. But the question went unanswered. "Look," Agatha began, looking toward the group. "I have no idea what's under that sigil. He could be something special or he could be a pest that some cranky witch stashed under a rock. We can crack him open later." you smirked slightly, only slightly, at her words. "The real value lies at the end of the road." She smiled. she then gestured to Jennifer. "So, if you want to unbind," you noticed the potions witch take in a breath. "And you want to reverse your fortune" Agatha went on to Lilia as the older woman looked slightly uncomfortable. "And you," She continued to Alice. "Want to find out what happened to mummy. And you...." Agatha paused. Mrs hart was gone? Agatha scoffed, unamused. "I mean, you take your eyes off of her for two seconds..." She rolled her eyes. 
You looked around. Scanning the area for the woman. "Can't you just sniff her out." Jennifer asked as she turned to you. Looking down at you like you were dirt beneath her feet. "That's the whole reason you're here, right?" she spat out as if blaming you for the situation. 
Staring gob-smacked, you glared. The gold in your eyes becoming more prominent "Do I look like a blood hound to you, potions witch?" you hissed. "I'm your guide. I am not some glorified baby sitter."  Just then, there was a scream.  You looked up towards the sound then to the path. At least she went the right way. "This way." You urged the group. Alice was hot on your tail as you followed the path. Speeding ahead of you, Alice got to Mrs Hart just in the nick of time. The poor woman was nearly earth food. Sinking deep into the mud. Teen went to help as Alice pulled her out of the sinking mud. You stared for a moment. Well, that.. could have gone worse. 
Mrs Hart attempted to wipe the mud off but it was mostly unsuccessful. Not that you were surprised. "You can't just walk off the road like that." Alice scolded lightly at the older woman. The older woman in her shock complained about it being a horrible party and you felt your lips form a tight line. Glaring at Agatha out of the corner of your eye. 
Agatha sighed and tried to keep a level head. "Well, I thought this was pretty obvious." She hummed. "But for the uninitiated, rule number one - Do not step off the road." Agatha announced clearly. "So if we just follow the instructions of the balled, We'll be as safe as kittens." She smiled widely and winked at you. You rolled your eyes. "Okay?" she smiled but Mrs Hart, and understandably so, was slightly upset with the whole affair. You noticed Jennifer walk off slightly and kept your eyes on her. She called everyone to look. There was something different about her voice. Something light.... hopeful. Following her gaze, you noticed a large beach house. Where-? You found yourself taken back. How did such a thing... just appear? 
Taking Agatha's lead, you followed the older witch onwards. The change of ground made you shiver slightly. sand had never been your favourite thing to walk in. especially when it got in between your toes. Staring in wonder, the group approached the door. Lilia traced the markings on the door and you caught yourself accidently staring at her hands. You cleared your throat and looked away, ignoring your slightly flustered face. "The phases of the moon." Lilia's words hung through the air. 
Teen looked in interest. "Its full... the water phase." he smiled brightly. Lilia looked at him, her brown eyes bore how impressed she was with his comment. It only made him smile wider. "So... what do we do?" He asked curiously. Mrs hart went ahead and rung the doorbell, claiming that we didn't want to surprise anyone. But that was short lived as Agatha just opened the door anyways. 
Once inside, you were caught off guard. You looked down to your clothing. Your red tartan coat was gone and was replaced with something... plainer. A grey blazer hugged your form. The black trousers you were wearing were tight and the t-shirt match with silver markings. The heels were grey and matched the blazer. You hair was loose and you ran your clawed fingers through it. It was new... You noticed Lilia looked noticeably different. Her tight curls were gone and she was dressed in mostly white.  She was wearing a silk scarf though. Having a look around, everyone took in the new surroundings. It was a fancy place. You looked to a few of the paintings and tilted your head. Just then, Mrs Hart exclaimed her love for the kitchen. Scaring everyone in the process. You took in some deep breaths. Trying to relax yourself. This was fine. It was calm. 
Teen then called from the dining area of the house. It didn't take long for the group to gather into the room like a bunch of rushing hens. "What is this?" Agatha asked as she snatched the card from his hands. "A wedding? Please God, not a baby shower." She groaned before Jennifer snatched it from her. Frustrated, Agatha threw her hands up. Wondering where she got the audacity. 
"The witches' road cordially invites you to the first trail." The potions witch read clearly before flipping the card over. Her eyes lighting in wonder. "It's a riddle." She spoke softly before beginning to read the riddle. "My age has value. I'm no fun alone. I mess with your mind, my tricks are well known." She then looked to the group. You were no luck in riddles, unfortunately. Your sister used to be so good at them. She could've made the mighty sphinx run for her money. Jennifer then passed the card on to Mrs Hart. You smiled softly when the woman examined the card. 
"What does it mean?" Teen asked, curious.
"That it's really expensive." Mrs hart hummed out. There was something in the way she said it that made you laugh. Agatha's eyes were immediately drawn to your face when the laugh left your lips. It had been years... beyond years since she had heard that sound come from you. It made her a little relieved that after all this time you still had that same humour about you. Even if was buried deep deep within you. 
Alice, who now held the card, repeated it's contents. "It sounds like a witch." Agatha said as she rolled her fingers. Jennifer made a snarky comment about it sounding like Agatha and Agatha paid in due by mimicking the potions witch.
Mrs hart, who had turned around, sang the word wine and Alice's eyes lit up. "That's it, ten points for Mrs Hart." She smiled. Turning around too, you saw the wine on the dining table. Accompanied by six glasses. Immediately, you didn't trust the liquid and it would seem you weren't alone on that train of thought. "Wait, we don't know what will happen if we drink it." Alice said, worried, as Mrs Hart grabbed the wine bottle. It made the blonde woman hesitate and she went to set down the bottle. 
Agatha looked to Alice. "Oh, sure we do. Something terrible." She said with a straight face. "But if we don't follow these obvious breadcrumbs, we cant move forward and we wont get to the big prize." Everyone shared a nervous and unsure look. "So, does anybody have a cork screw?" She asked and grabbed the wine bottle herself. Teen offered to go get one from the built in bar and Jennifer accompanied him. When they returned, you noticed a slight change in the boy. You adjusted your glasses wondering what had gone on between the two. Once the bottle was opened, Agatha poured everyone a glass. You stared at the glass. Unsure whether you really wanted to drink it or not. "If you're waiting for a charcuterie, I don't think its coming." she smiled widely. With that, Mrs hart wasted no time getting the red liquid down her. You stared at her as she chugged it down before telling everyone not to judge her. 
Just then, the timer beeped. Thirty minutes. You swallowed as Agatha raised her glass. You copied and the group followed suit. Toasting. After clinking your glasses together, teen approached and asked if he could have some. An echo of 'No's filled the room. "Should we take the girl talk to the sofa?" Mrs Hart asked. You all followed suit. There was tension in the air. Swishing the liquid in your glass, you frowned. It didn't smell right. But then again, what type of alcohol ever did smell lovely? Ignoring your instincts, you took a sip. Agatha sat down beside you as Mrs Hart began to talk. You noticed her wine glass was not in sight but decided not to question it. "Okay. So, a witch is really just another name for a bad girl? Is that right?" She asked and for a moment, you smiled gently. 
"That is extremely reductive." Lilia began, her legs crossed on the arm chair. she sat like a queen. "We are not a Monolith." She hummed. "And, you know, I blame Halloween. Do you see any pointy hats in here? any green skin? any brooms? No, sir." She ranted before taking a sip. You smiled. A genuine smile. You took the second to admire her. Agatha eyed you, a look in her eyes told you that wheels in her head were turning. You decided not to look in her direction. Agatha didn't back down, giving you a knowing look. 
Mrs hart stood and walked off slightly. "Well I am not saying that I wanna join the club or anything, but I would drink the blood of a virgin if it would smooth out some of these wrinkles." Mrs Hart said as she wondered. When she turned back to face the group, a sharp gasp left your lips. Staring like you had been slapped, you looked over the blonde's face. It was swollen. A mummer of 'oh my god's uttered through the room. "Oh, you are so sweet." Mrs Hart gushed. "I don't really think I need it either." She laughed, seemingly oblivious to what had happened. Alice tried to gently approach Mrs Hart, or rather Sharon as she called herself, about the swelling. "Is it bad?" She asked lowly. Bad!? It was horrendous! 
A light glare graced your face when you looked at Agatha as she said that Mrs hart looked fantastic. Jennifer stood up suddenly and looked beyond terrified. "We've been poisoned." she said in a panic. You felt yourself crumble. Everyone ran to a mirror. You traced over your skin. No no no... no way. You looked like a grape. You hated how swollen you looked. Like too much Botox gone wrong. "Mrs Hart, you are so pretty." Jennifer forced out to Mrs Hart. "But since you were the first one to drink, you're our canary in the coal mine." Jennifer explained. However, Mrs Hart took another sip of the wine in her panic. 
"Oh for crying out loud, she's lost her wits." you groaned as teen snatched the glass off of her. Reminding her it was poisoned. 
Agatha, who was on the other side of the room, shouted across. "Why don't we just let her drink it all!" The group looked at Agatha with slight disgust. "uh.." You tilted your head as she began to fiddle with her hair. "It just... serves our best interest is all." she said trying to keep her hair out of her face. 
Jennifer went back to questioning Mrs hart about the symptoms. You watched nervously but your attention was soon drawn to Lilia. She looked dazed out. "I love you guys." Your eyes widened slightly. What? Your lips became thin as you watched the older witch. Unsure where that had just come from. But then you noticed how her eyes began to adjust once more. As if they were coming back to the present reality. "What?" She asked when she noticed everyone was staring at her like she had three heads. Did she not remember what she said? Just then, Mrs hart said that she felt better. Immediately, you went to check your face. It was seemingly back to normal. You sighed, relieved.
However, Jennifer was quick to burst your bubble. "Not yay... very much not yay..." She said into herself, thinking. "The fact that the face swelling decreased so quickly mean it can only be one time of poison." You felt your palms grow sweaty. this was bad. this was very bad. "Alewife's revenge." She spoke, the concern clear in her voice. "Face Swelling is just the beginning. Next is dizziness, delirium, loss of motor function." You shared a nervous glance with Agatha. A silent conversation of panic. "Also hallucinations and eventually..." She hesitated. "Death." 
The blue eyed witch wasn't having it. You noticed a change in Agatha's eyes. A change you had seen too many times. "Agatha." You scowled, slightly nervous as the older woman raced over to the window. "Agatha, wait!" You panicked. Agatha picked up an onement and began to bash it against the window. You rapidly approached the older witch as the group yelled at Agatha. "Stop it!" You hissed and tried to claw the object out of her hands but her desperate grip was tight. During your tug of war, Alice grabbed Agatha from behind and pulled her away. 
With Alice's aid, you yanked the object off the older witch's hands. Ignoring her yell.... roar? of frustration. You held the object close to your chest. Keeping it far from Agatha. Jennifer told Agatha that she couldn't run from the poison. Then, Teen held a full wine glass. You stared at it then to Agatha. "She didn't drink the poison... " The boy said as he approached slowly. "You can't cheat, Agatha." He frowned. 
"Why?! who says!?" Agatha demanded. You scoffed. Nothing had changed. You were a fool for thinking other wise. God, you were an utter idiot for doing this. 
"The road." Lilia said, her voice strong, clearly frustrated with Agatha. 
Agatha rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Oh that's ridiculous!" She hissed at Lilia. You scoffed. No, her behaviour was ridiculous.  "We don't all have to suffer!" You felt yourself lose a few braincells. How, after all this time, was she still acting like a child throwing a tantrum. "Teen didn't drink!" Agatha argued. You rolled your eyes.
Jennifer was quick to argue back. "He's not in the coven and he's underage." She gestured to teen. It was clear everyone in the room was seething with  anger. 
"I'm gonna shove it down your gullet, so help me-" Lilia snapped.
Agatha snatched the glass out of Teen's hand. "Oh, you know what!" She grunted and threw the glass to the floor with a force. Smashing it. The red liquid stained the white sofa and carpet. Well, well done Agatha. Jennifer yelled as it it the ground. Alice told Agatha that she had to drink but the older witch was having none of it. "Well, I would but there's no more wine." She smirked at them. "So?" She shrugged. The noticed your disapproving look. Alice picked up her own wine glass and and stared at it. Just then the empty glass began to fill out of of nothing. Red liquid filling half way. As Alice held the glass out for Agatha, the brunette twitched. Clearly uncomfortable. "So cute." She muttered. Teen stepped forward. He held eye-contact with Agatha his eyes stern as he told her to drink. He scoffed then threated to drink it himself. "No!" Agatha yelled then grabbed him back. You watched interested by the desperate changed in Agatha. 
Agatha scoffed as she took the drink, she forced it to her lips and drank. Twitching as she did. Once she finished, she held back a cough. Agatha muttered something about it being so cheap. Just then, You turned to face Mrs Hart as she began to mutter pleas to herself and someone called Wanda. You stared, Utterly confused. "Oh, god." You gasp when she fell. Alice caught the woman and sit her on the sofa. 
"Hey, Potions witch." Agatha called, her face now as bloated as yours was a few moments ago. "it's time to brew an antidote." Agatha hummed. You kept your eyes on the older witch. This was going to be interesting. 
--I_I<-)0(->I_I--
"All right," Jennifer began as she set the timer on the counter. The kitchen lights were dimmed. "Let's see what we're working with here." she said, deep in thought. "I need frankincense and the gut of a eusocial insect." She hummed as she thought about the ingredients. Alice and teen took off quickly to find the frankincense and honey. She then looked between Agatha, you and Lilia. You stared at her, waiting for her next few ingredients. "I need a corpse that's been decaying for at least 30 million years." Your eyes widened. A what? Where would one even require that!?
Agatha seemed to share your train of thought as she threw her hands in the air. "Oh, is that just something that's available cause I don't know what you're talking about!" She exclaimed as she looked Jennifer up and down. 
You looked between the two. The tension was insufferable. "Why do I have to translate?" She asked, frustrated. "It's zooplankton. It's in petroleum products." she explained and looked to Lilia for support. 
Lilia nodded, taking the potion witch's words into account. Agatha took your arm as she looked to the Divination witch. "Lilia, come on." Agatha urged the older woman who was already walking at a fast pace. "After you. Let's go. Andale!" Agatha rushed out as she kept you by her side. Chasing after Lilia. As you walked by Agatha's side, you paused.
"Minerva." A voice hissed through the air. Ghosting across your skin. Making the hairs the back of your neck stand up. You knew that voice better then anyone else. "Minerva." The voice called out again. You stilled, staring wide-eyed. Agatha shook your arm, causing you to look at her. She was... speaking? yelling? yet you could not hear. Her face was smothered in concern. "Minerva." Your head snapped in the direction of soft voice. When you turned to look back for Agatha, she wasn't there. You swallowed thickly and adjusted your glasses. Nerves running through you. The voice called your name again. You licked your unusually dry lips and with a deep breath, you took a step toward the voice. Michelle's voice.
With each step you took, the walls seemed to... grow smaller. Placing your hand against the wall in attempt to steady yourself, you noticed how it changed from lavished wallpaper to dark hard wood. At the end of the corridor stood a door. You tilted your head. It looked familiar. Reaching for the handle, you hesitated. Closing your eyes, you opened the door. A gasp left you as fresh air entered your lungs. "Your late, lass." Your sister glared gently. Her accent was as thick as you remembered. You stared wide eyed, shrinking slightly under her green gaze. Tearing up, You looked upon your sister slim form. You suddenly felt much smaller. "Come now, it won't be long till Agatha comes back." She scowled. "If only Ma could see you now." She shook her head and turned her back on you while she continued to clean. 
Deciding to approach with caution, you called for her but she didn't seem to hear you. "I didn't ask for any of this, you know." She scowled. "Don't you think I wanted a normal childhood? Instead.... of taken care of you. I never wanted to leave home. To leave home for this... clatty country! But Da found out. And what was I to do, Minerva? Ma had already been put to death by the local church." She hissed under her breath, the weight and build up of all her hidden thought coming to surface. You took a step back. You felt like a silly little girl all over again. You hadn't even felt the tears run down your cheeks until you touched your cheek. "I gave you everything and what did I get? I worked.... And I worked. I suffered!" She cried out. 
You could take it anymore, you reached for your sister. "Michelle... stop it..." You whispered and tried to touch your sister. "Please, I'd never... I'm sorry, Michelle." She turned to face you, causing you to stumble back slightly. She... her skin... gods. You couldn't look. It was rotting. Your sister's once perfect and pristine face was crumbling, cracking and collapsing. 
"I should have let father killed you then... Had I known.... " She sobbed, screaming. Your heart was racing. Michelle's skin was decaying. Worm eaten. "Look at me! Look at what you caused!" She screamed, spitting at you in the process. She grabbed both your arms and shook you. "I should've let Da throw you in the loch!" You sobbed. Her words hitting a cord within you. 
Michelle continued to shake you. You closed your eyes. Why wouldn't it just stop! "Minerva!" Agatha's voice rang through your head. You eyes snapped open. Where Michelle had once been, Agatha was now in her place. "Snap out of it!" She hissed as she continued to shake you. You sobbed and launched yourself into her arms. 
Agatha froze as you sobbed into her neck. "Aggie..." You cried. "Michelle... she..." You didn't dare to continue. Agatha was frozen for a moment before she stroked your hair and sighed. Nodding to herself. You calmed down quickly, suddenly feeling very embarrassed and vulnerable. You noticed Lilia's eyes were stuck on your form. Concern laced into those soft eyes. You cleared your throat and pulled away from Agatha.  Your cheek's darkened as an awkward tension was left in the air. "Let's just continue, shall we?" You whispered and hugged yourself in an effort to keep yourself steady. Lilia nodded to herself and led the way. Agatha stared at you for a moment but you shook her off. Not wanting any questions. 
Making your way to the garage, Agatha turned on the light. You panicked. There was no car. Lilia's lips became thin as her brows furrowed. "No car. No Gas." She frowned in worry.
You looked between the two. "What else had petroleum in it?" You asked, confused. 
Agatha thought for a moment before running off with the word 'Jelly' leaving her lips. Finding yourself with no other choice, You shared a quick look with Lillia before following Agatha. Agatha led you both to a bathroom area. On the shelves was full of Jennifer's skin care. You raised an eyebrow. Really? "Ugh." Agatha groaned. "Of course, Jen's skin care made it to the road." She complained as she looked over the products. 
Lilia looked confused as she held one of the tubs. "But it's all... organic. There's no petroleum in there?" she said as she eyed the product. Agatha shrugged and said about calling her bluff. You nodded to yourself and began to pick up some of the products. "Try to save Agatha." You were taken back at Lilia's sudden words. What did she mean? It was quite similar to how she reacted earlier on. The same dazed out eyes.
You blinked a few times. It felt like a staring test between the three of you. No one knowing what exactly to say. "um... Yes, I love this plan but.. I just think we should find the ingredients first." Agatha forced an awkward smile. You eyed them as Lilia slowly turned her back and picked up a few products. Once you had gathered some, You all went back through the halls. Trying to reach the kitchen.
 As you walked, you noticed that Lilia was no longer behind the two of you. "Agatha..." You paused and she looked behind her to look at you. She looked at you expectantly. "Lilia's gone. We can't just leave her."  You said like it was obvious as you eyed the corridor for the older witch. 
"Can't we?" Agatha snarked with a smirk. However, when she saw your glare she frowned and shrugged. "You're no longer any fun, Mins."
You ignored her and retraced your steps. As you did, you felt a body clash with yours. Lilia yelped in surprise. You steadied her for a moment, Your eyes wide with worry. But she only pulled away from you and landed with her back against the wall. Trying to get away. Her chest was rising up and down. Whatever she had seen had clearly scared her. She looked like an injured animal and you didn't dare approach. When she spoke, it wasn't in English. It was foreign something you hadn't heard before. She closed her eyes. You shared a glance with Agatha. Even she looked concerned for the older witch, surprise in her eyes. When you looked back at Lilia you saw the utter pain in her eyes. She was still not looking the two of you. Perhaps expecting to be mocked. 
For a while there was only silence. You let her calm down a little on her own. As you did, Her eyes slowly turned to look at you and Agatha. Both of you stood unmoving. Faces soft with gentle silent comfort. "Lilia..." You whispered softly. "It's okay..." You hummed and took a little step forward towards her. Her breathing was still uneven but you didn't dare push the woman. She swallowed and closed her eyes for another moment. When she was calm again, she looked to you and nodded. Agatha wasted no time in the leading the two of you back. You lingered behind a bit to keep an eye on Lilia. 
Returning to the living room, you suddenly felt very loose. Agatha wasted no time in announcing that You three had successfully gotten the ingredients. "What's next!" Agatha barked. But as she did glass cracked. You tensed as looked towards the large windows. Agatha stepped forwards, her eyes narrowed as she tried to make out the cause. "What.. is that?" She asked and very slowly approached. Following her lead, your eyes widened as you got closer. Lilia wasted no time in staying by your side. Her expression mirroring your own. Your head was reeling as you came to terms with what you saw. The house appeared to be deep under water. 
The water was leaking into the room through the crack. The crack Agatha had made earlier. Jennifer confirmed it was salt water. Alice glanced at the group momentarily. "How long is that going to hold." she asked with a slight twinge of fear to her voice. 
You tensed. "I'd rather not find out." You hummed and glanced to the protection witch. 
"No, thank you." Agatha rushed. The group, bar Lilia, ran to lift Mrs Hart. You held the woman's upper body, careful with her head. As you carried her into the kitchen, Agatha looked to Lilia. "Move those pears out of the way." She said like an order as you approached the table. Lilia nodded and acted quickly, rushing to move the decorative pears out of the way. Setting the woman on the table, Alice glanced your way. Seemingly thankful for your aid. 
As you gathered around the sink, Jennifer took lead. "The elements need to be added in a certain order in a specific time." She clarified, You felt hot. Really hot. Like the sun had blasted you with it's flames. Your breathing became heavier. You noticed that Lilia, who stood beside you, seemed to be in a similar state. "Starting with gut and eye." Jennifer said as she dumped the ingredients in. Alice tried to aid Jennifer but the other woman waved her off. "No, no, no, no, get out of here." She quickly said. She then looked to Agatha. "Where's the zooplankton?" She asked.
Lilia wobbled slightly, loosing her balance before she fully leaned on the table. Agatha, in her poisoned state, smirked. "All natural or not, Jen?" You glanced to Agatha as she teased her while waving the skin care products. Jennifer looked conflicted for a short moment before telling Agatha to throw it in. "Knew it." Agatha said smugly as she and Lilia dumped the skin care into the sink. Lilia, who seemed to be completely... out of it, leaned against you when she looked her balance once more. You tensed but did not remove her. Alice struggled with the frankincense, so much so that she could not open the small tub. Just as Jen was Complaining about it, Teen offered his help. Then, after a few seconds, the water began to turn a shade of pink. "Its... working? it working, right?" Agatha asked desperately.
"What? What's wrong?" Lilia questioned, her brows furrowed. Her eyes full of uncertainty and fear.
"Any bright ideas on how to set this thing to boil?" Jen frowned nervously. 
Agatha freaked. "You didn't think of this before!?" She snapped at the potions witch. 
You stared wide eyed. Was Jennifer serious? "While I was in the middle of a traumatic hallucination?" Jen glared Agatha down. "No, Agatha, I did not." Hissed the tall woman.
For a moment, you found yourself twitching. Your jaw clenched and you stood to your full height. "We all had traumatic hallucinations." You gritted. Lilia glanced to you. Most of this time you had been quiet. She couldn't help but wonder what went on in your mind. So closed off, yet there were hints.. moments of vulnerably... frustration. 
Teen, in an attempt to stop the tension, put himself forward. "Uh, is there a sous vide?" He asked as he began to rummage in the cupboards. Agatha cringed as she asked Lilia what it was. But Lilia looked just as lost. "It's a super fancy cooking tool. it heats water to a specific temperature so that you can cook your meat evenly." He explained as he found the object. Plugging it in the sink. "My dad loves his." He smiled briefly. 
Jennifer called his name as she struggled. Now losing control of her body Like Lilia had. Teen grabbed the wooden spoon before returning to the sink. Waiting for Jennifer's instruction. "I need you to stir with your right dominant hand, counter clock wise." She said, out of breath while she came to his side. Hovering near the sink to keep an eye on him. Teen looked clueless and Jennifer raised an eyebrow. "To the left." She elaborated and he took in her words while stirring. "Everyone, pull a strand of hair out of your head now." She hummed. "A single hair only!" She hummed. 
You winced as you yanked a strand out of your head. You were waiting for the next instruction from Jennifer when you noticed Agatha's change in demeanour. You called her name but she didn't seem to hear. Frowning you called again as she began to walk away. Jennifer shared a look with Alice. Suddenly, Agatha was kneeling her back turned to you. With a gasp, she sobbed and fell back on herself. Her hand covering her mouth. It looked as if she were trying to get away from something. You stared at the older witch. Worried beyond measure. "Agatha!" Jennifer snapped, drawing Agatha out of her vision. Agatha scrambled to stand up. She looked around her. Terrified. "Agatha, we need your hair." Agatha approached and yanked a strand out of her head. "Now." Jennifer told the group. You dropped your hair into the sink, watching as the others did the same. "Stop stirring." Teen stilled. "We need to clasp hands and clear your minds." You took Lilia's hand in one and Teen's in the other. Lilia was shaking. "Once our intentions our aligned, it will glow a bright cerulean." She said.
You closed your eyes and tried to focus. Shouldn't be too hard... right? "Wait, what our intentions again?" Agatha asked cringing hard, still taken back by her vision. 
"To not die." Jennifer forced out. 
Keeping your eyes close for a few moments. You tried to think of how nice it would be not to drop dead in a few minutes. You opened your eyes when you heard Alice speak. "I get cerulean and chartreuse confused..." She admitted sheepishly. "Is cerulean the green one?" Teen shook his head with a frown. Correcting her by telling her it was blue. "Then it's not working." Your body tensed. Great. this was how you died?! Absolutely fabulous. Teen panicked slightly and tried to explain it was like... a teal. You felt your heart jump in your chest. This was a disaster.
Lilia's hold on your hand tightened. You weren't too sure she realised she was still holding it. "It's green, teen!" she exclaimed.
"We only have a minute left! What have you forgotten?" You demanded, staring daggers at Jennifer. Your eyes held the fear lingering all over your body. 
Her eyes mirrored your own. "I Don't know!" She cried. "I've never made this potion before!" You felt the heat rising. You took off your blazer and through it to the side. "I make retinol serums for Christ's sake!" She hissed. "There was once a time where I would be able to solve this a wave of my hand, but now? I'm bound!" She shouted, the panic and built up energy finally getting to her. "He stole my magic! We're all gonna die here! I do not want to die here!" Jennifer hissed and took a step back. "This is not where I die!" she yelled, as her breathing became even more uneven. 
Agatha grabbed her by the shoulders in attempt to get through to her in some way. "I have always hated you." She admitted, keeping her grip tight on Jennifer's arms. "But I left you alone because what you were doing was important." She continued, the honesty dripping from her tongue. "Not this kale care crap. the real work. you can be that witch again. they can take your power, Jen, but they cant take your knowledge." Agatha finished. You stared at the interaction. Jennifer remained unresponsive for a moment. As if she wasn't fully processing Agatha's words or the meaning behind them. "Jen?" Agatha urged. 
"Blood." 
Smirking, Agatha's eyes filled with glee when Jennifer gave her an answer. "Who's and how much?" she questioned. When Jennifer mentioned the blood of the unpoisoned the weight of the room shifted. Agatha side glanced towards teen and you didn't know what to think.  The boy swallowed nervously as Agatha went towards the knives. Grabbing one she stormed over to Teen and grabbed his hand. "Thanks for being underage." She said as she sliced his hand open, ignoring the short protests from Lilia.
Then, with the blood in the sink, the potion colour began to change. Bubbling like wild as it did. You grinned like the Cheshire cat as it settled into a bright blue colour. Perfect. With Jennifer's okay, You wasted no time in getting yourself some of the antidote. Chugging it down, You winced as it attacked your throat. The taste leaving a surprisingly bitter after affect as it scratched down your throat. However, once it hit your depths, you relaxed. Sharing a look with the group. You laughed in relief as you felt yourself return to normal. The victory was short lived. Jennifer noticed the timer was still ticking. "Mrs Hart!" Alice realised. In a flash, a small bit of Anti-dote was passed down the line to Alice as she carefully forced the liquid down Mrs Hart. 
"DUMP IT IN HER MOUTH!" Agatha yelled desperately, hints of frustration in her tone. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. Your head snapped in the direction of the timer beeping. "Did it work?" Agatha asked. Suddenly the oven door slammed open. Jumping, you stared at the open door. Clearly that was your way out of this hell hole of a trial. Slowly approaching, you stayed a little behind Lilia as she lowered herself to look in.
Lilia's face became a scowl. "I am NOT climbing in an oven." she grumped slightly. You raised an eyebrow at her out right denial. "That happened to a friend of mine once," She stood straight to look at the group. "She had a lovely house too, and she ended up-" Lilia was interrupted by the crashing of waves. The glass from the windows had smashed right through. You stared at the water, completely gobsmacked. No. You hated water! Lilia and the others screamed. Jennifer was not taking any chances as the water slowly began to fill the kitchen. She was quick to harshly push Lilia out of the way, sending her stumbling backwards, toward you. Luckily enough, you caught her without fault. You glared daggers towards Jennifer as she slid down the oven and disappeared. You guided Lilia towards the oven, despite her resistance. She out right refused. "Nope! NO!" She cried out. 
You bit the inside of your cheeks and your lips became thin. "If we stay, we'll be worse off!" You yelled over the overwhelming noise from the water. "I promise it'll be okay but we need to go now!" You urged her forwards. She stared at you, horror woven into her gaze. She looked back at the sea water filling the room then bit her lip. Braving it, she knelt and climbed into the oven. Once she was in, You turned to look for Agatha. You wouldn't leave her. Lilia stared at you, waiting for you to join her. Walking through the water, carrying Mrs Hart, was Alice, Agatha and teen. You moved out of their way so they could put her in the oven. 
"Just shove her in there! just shove her! Shove her in there!" Agatha yapped. Lilia helped take Mrs Hart before hesitantly sliding down with a terrified scream. Alice told teen to go and he did. Agatha rolled her eyes and shoved you forward after Teen had slid down. Forcing you to go after the teenager. You didn't dare protest and followed suit. As you slid down, a scream echoed through the tunnel. Agatha cringed when she saw more and more water flooding the kitchen. she pushed herself in front of Alice. "ME NEXT!" she yelled and slid down after you. 
At the end of the... tunnel slide? You yelped as you bumped into Teen. Having domino effect on the ones in front. You groaned and coughed out. "Bloody gods above..." You muttered. However, Your peaceful moment it didn't last long as Agatha came sliding down at full speed, tumbling as she did, hitting you in the back. You hissed out in pain but the older witch didn't seem to care. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed that Lilia seemed... alight. Agatha stood and pushed past you, you rolled your eyes as you watched her struggle to get through the tangled bodies. In her effort to get out of the mess, She pushed teen and Lilia to the side. You sighed. Typical. When Agatha passed Jennifer she kicked her rather hard. But what else were you really expecting?
Taking in a deep breath, you stood fully and gave yourself a once over. You were drenched like a wet dog. Lilia leaned against the wall as she tried to come to terms with what just happened. The near death experience hitting her deep. You took off your red tartan coat. The bloody thing was dripping with water. Agatha flicked some hair out of her face. "A little rusty there, Jen?" She snarked as she eyed the potions witch. 
Jennifer glared at the blue eyed witch. "A little traitorous there, Agatha?" Jennifer sassed back. 
You held back a bitter smirk and lowered your head. Before the two could continue to bicker Lilia hushed them. "Stop." She looked them up and down. "We're alive..." Her tone dropped... she was relieved... shocked... "We made it through the first test." Lilia turned to scan the group. Her eyes scanning for your face. "Everyone is safe." She nodded to herself when she saw you staring at her. 
Teen voice interrupted the still moment. "Not everyone." He corrected, sorrow in his tone. "Sharon's dead." He closed the blonde woman's eyes. You stepped a little closer, your breath caught in your throat. 
Agatha glanced around the group. "Who's Sharon?" She asked, confused. You felt yourself shrink at the older witch's words. Your hand came to your face. Oh god. 
--I_I<-)0(->I_I--
Pacing in your other form, the wheels in your head were turning. Alice had suggested taking a break for a while... to adjust to recent advents. You had found a round patch for the group to rest for now. The leaves felt soft... almost pleasant under your small paws. As you paced, Your pointed ears flicked in the direction of the group. You couldn't believe that a woman was dead already. How? She drank the antidote, didn't she? Walking away from the group, you decided you needed some time alone. Properly alone. However, You didn't dare stray too far from them. To your surprise, it would seem your thought of privacy was shared. There, a short distance away, on a fallen log sat Lilia. She seemed deep in thought. You debated whether to approach or not. But with one first step, your mind was made up. 
Approaching slowly, you waited for her to noticed you. With luck, she did. If she was surprised she didn't show it. The older witch simply stared at you, blinking occasionally. With a few more steps, You slowly transformed back into your original state. You frown and adjust your glasses. "May I sit?" You asked and gestured to the spot next to her. The older witch thought for a moment then nodded with a small weak smile. It was thin and you would have missed it if you hadn't been looking at her properly. She looked... Beyond stressed. Her curly hair was slightly dishevelled. As you sat down, you sighed. The weight of the day laying heavy over the two of you. "You shouldn't stray to far from the group..." You whisper gently hoping she wouldn't take it the wrong way.
Lilia scoffed faintly but it only made you smirk. "I needed some time away." She admitted. You tilted your head when she said that. Your eyes softened. Of course, it was understandable why. The day had been... too much. You thought to your sister and frowned. "So... A tabby cat?" Lilia forced a smile trying to change the subject to something lighter. She didn't want to bring her problems onto you. You fondly shake your head as she spoke. "I had a friend once that was like you... a transformation witch, I mean. She could transform into a large grey wolf." Lilia's eyes became distant. Almost as if she were watching the memories right there and then. "She was a sweet woman despite it. She... was murdered during the trails. Saving my life actually. She lost control of it and... well, I'm sure you can guess the rest." She frowned, her fond memories turning sombre. You wondered what it must have been like. To live as long as Lilia had. To experience so much pain and loss. It would kill you. 
"It must have been hard." you whispered and moved a little closer to her in silent comfort. "I'm sorry for it." 
The older witch waved you off, not wanting your apologies. She'd rather hide that pain. "What I was trying to say was.. It must be nice to shed your skin and forget about.." Lilia hummed with a soft smile.  "Well, I'm sure you know what I mean." She whispered. "I always did like cats. It must be exciting to have an ability like yours." She continued, still deep in thought.
You laughed and her attention fully snapped to you as if she were confused on what exactly was so funny. "Yeah." You chuckled. "It's all fun and games until your throwing up hairballs early in the morning." A wide grin appeared on the older witch's face. She laughed of to the side slightly. As if embarrassed that she was laughing in the first placed. You joined her and for a moment. The air felt lighter. You relaxed slightly and noticed how her posture mirrored your own. Despite being on such a risk filled journey you felt safe. If only for a moment. Brown eyes met your green. You swallowed. The two of you continued to stare for a moment until Lilia seemed to remember herself and looked away, turning her gaze to the sky.
Lilia, nervous, Fiddled with her rings. "You trust Agatha." She brought up after the moment had gone. The fact hung in the air. You glance at her before looked at your clawed hands. Yeah, you trusted Agatha. Many would call you a fool for doing such a thing but... After everything that had happened. "Why is that?" The grey haired witch asked curiously. Her eyes running over you with a little suspicion. 
Taking a moment, you were quiet. Debating on what to say, you sighed. "Do you know the tales? Of my sister and I coming to America? The Smith sisters." You questioned. Lilia hesitated for a moment before nodding. She knew little of the tale and she doubted what she heard was accurate. "When Michelle and I fled from Scotland in 1710, I was only four. Our Ma had been killed a month before that. Michelle watched it happen. She saw our Ma strangled before they threw her into the flames." You clarified and continued to look a head, not wanting to face the older witch. "My sister was only sixteen. The only reason she had not married at thirteen was because she was rebellious and Da didn't want to give away an improper woman. She was scheduled to marry the priest's brother's Lad." you frowned. Lilia eyed you, Her eyed held an interest. In all honesty, this information wasn't entirely relevant but perhaps it gave some context. However, you were mainly telling it to talk about your sister. Her struggles deserved to be known. "But That never happened. After we fled, We spent four years traveling. Looking for a safe place to live. But with Michelle being a young woman with no money and an eight year old... Well, I'm sure you can imagine how hard things where." Your eyes became dark as you thought about it. You could still remember your sister being an utter mess as she would steal food and let herself starve so that she could feed you. 
"Over time, Michelle became desperate for some kind of salvation. She stole money off some... lord of England." you continued with your tone lowered. "She'd never tell me how she managed to pull off such a feat but I still remember the ugly red bruises on her neck. With that money she bought us ticket to America. To start fresh.  Took us two and a half months over sea but we made it. So many lower class had died on that ship. When we got there, we had stolen from the wrong pocket. Agatha's. She recognised the magic in us immediately. Well, more the magic in Michelle." Surprised laced in Lilia's deep brown eyes. The more she heard, The more she disliked. You held your coat closer. "I don't know how it all happened.. There was a connection between them, I guess. Michelle took to Agatha like a moth to the flame and before I knew it, our group of two became three." You smiled with hints of fondness. "Agatha would teach Michelle and help her with care of me and in return, Michelle would help with any tasks Agatha would need down. I'm positive there was more to their deal but I don't know what." You shrugged. Lilia looked conflicted as she heard about this.. side of Agatha. "I suppose, I trust Agatha because she was the one that aided us. Because she helped Michelle raise me. We probably would have died without her." You whispered, turning your gaze to Lilia. She looked... unsure. Her brows were furrowed and her eyes held a concern. Her lips were thin. You sighed. "I'm not saying you should trust her. But there's more to her then what meets the eye. If there wasn't. I wouldn't be here." You sighed.
Lilia shuffled a little closer. It was a small movement. One you would have missed if you weren't paying attention. "And where's Michelle now?" She questioned curiously. 
A bitterness played in your eyes as you turned to look at the sky. "Dead." The word left a thickness between you. "She went on a... mission some years ago with Agatha and... " You frowned when you remembered Rio. You cleared your throat. "Well, she never came home. Agatha won't talk about. At least not properly. Whatever happened on that day still haunts her." You finalised deep in thought as the older witch nodded along.
The curly haired woman eyed you with slight you worry. "Do you think that Agatha might have..." She paused. Eyeing your body language before deciding to go through with her words. "Drained her?" The words hit a nerve in you. 
It was a fair question. One you thought about everyday. It was the reason you stopped talking to Agatha and cut her off in the first place. Yet, you thought back to Agatha and Michelle's... friendship. Agatha would never mean to hurt Michelle. But what if they were in a situation where only one could make it out alive? You bit the inside of your cheeks. "Until it is proven that she did. I will remain by her side." You explained lightly. You sigh and stand. Taking in a deep breath. You turned back to look at the seated woman. "Come on, we shou-"
"Stop it!" you jumped slightly at Lilia's sudden change in demeanour. Your eyes went wide as you stared at the woman who was now looking very dazed. Tilting your head, you inched a little bit towards the older witch. She looked as if she couldn't even see you. Her eyes were so out of focus. 
Debating on how progress, you very gently called her name. "Lilia?" She didn't respond still in her.. lucid state. Cautious, you kneeled in front of her. You didn't want to scare how when she was in this state of mind. Being slow, you very carefully took her hand. "Lilia? Can you hear me? What do you see, Lilia?" The woman blinked rapidly when she heard your voice and felt your touch. Her brows furrowed and she looked to the spot beside her, where you had once been. The older woman looked confused on why you had suddenly 'teleported' spots. She looked down to your hand in hers. Her mind catching up with what happened. You gave a supportive smile and pull away. Leaving her hand slightly reaching for yours. "Come on, it's about high time we return to the others. Lilia nodded to herself and stood, brushing down as she did. 
The walk back was quiet, but not uncomfortable. As you returned to the group, Agatha watched you like a hawk. Her gaze questioning. You ignored it but that was short lived as the blue eyed witch approached you. "What was that about?" She hummed with her arms crossed. You said nothing and watched as Lilia said down on a rock near Jennifer and Alice. 
"Nothing... Nothing at all."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This one is such a long chapter I was soo worried about it being too long and boring, so hopefully you've found it enjoyable. Thank you so much for reading this chapter!
I really hope you guys like it so far and I really cannot wait to get into the next chapter and to show you all what is to come. This is currently my favourite project. Also did anyone else panic for nothing over this weeks episode cause I was shitting myself thinking it was going to be Lilia's trial. 😭 I'm terrified for next weeks
I would like to point out that I'm dyslexic so I'm sorry for any mistakes and I'm assuming there will be a good few in this chapter because of the length. Please let me know what you think! I'm always reading the comments and looking for your thoughts and taking them into account and they help a lot with motivation.
Lot's of love and I hope to see you in the next chapter! 💜
(Remember to continue to thank and praise Patti Lupone in our prayers)
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Shanks with a Female Marine S/O (Imagine)
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Author's Note: I made a post mentioning this idea and it got a lot of attention. Hopefully it'll be talked about more down the road.
Links: {Masterlist}
When it comes to a marine reader, I can't picture them as this shy, weak little thing. I like to imagine reader as a well respected vice admiral, known for their heroism and determination.
I can see you meeting Shanks when he was a rookie. Just entered the grand line and is starting to get attention, but he isn't quite as big as he is now. You weren't new to the marines by the time you met Shanks, probably a captain, and it actually took a little bit for Shanks to truly see your potential.
You met him in some random bar him and his crew were drinking at. You were given orders to keep an eye on him, since the marines wanted to know just how much of a threat he was at the time. You decided fo go undercover while keeping a few lower ranked marines you were in charge of outside to keep post.
Shanks, being the flirt and charmer he is, immediately started conversation with you the moment you sat down next to him. You couldn't deny the fact he was friendly, offering to pay for your drink and even making you laugh a couple times, but you never once allowed yourself to be blinded by his antics. He was a pirate, and a possibility dangerous at best, you couldn't let yourself be blinded by his good looks and charm.
Despite Shanks being drunk when he first met you, he could see right through your duguise. The look in your eyes told him everything he need to know. However, he continued to act as if he was oblivious to that fact.
However, despite your better judgement, you ended up falling for his charm. The two of you ended up sleeping together in one of the island's many inns. You can't deny that he was probably the best fuck you've ever had, but the moral turmoil he threw in did not make it worth it.
You knew he was going to be trouble later down the road, and in all honesty, you wanted to see just how far he'd go, especially since the two of you were so close in age.
Not only did he leave an impression on you, but you left an impression on him. After meeting you, he was talking about you to Beckman.
"A beauty that woman was, Benn. A real beauty, a fierce one too," Shanks said as he poured him and Beckman a glass of whatever alcohol they stole from the island.
"You say that about every woman you've been with," Beckman said as he picked up the glass, blowing out a puff of smoke as he looked out into the ocean. "But you think she'd different, don't you?"
"She’s gonna be a fun one, Benn."
"What makes you so sure?"
"She’s a marine! A captain no less."
Beckman sent Shanks a glare as he drank his glass. "And you still slept with her? Captain, we're still rookies, I wouldn't be taking a thing like this as a game."
"She ain't going to do anything yet."
"...How'd you even know she was a marine?"
"The look in her eyes, and the fact that marines were scattered all over the island," Shanks replied confidently before chugging down the bottle. "I want to see where she ends up."
The two of you wouldn't interact again until a few years later. You've risen in ranks and have now became a Vice Admiral, and Shanks is now considered a major threat to the government.
Both of ships had crossed paths while at sea, and you decided to see if you stood a chance. You didn't have a devil fruit, but you were starting to master haki during this point in time.
"Long time no see, Shanks," You said as the two of you stood in front of each other. "I see you've made it big."
"I can say the same to you," Shanks responded, a smirk on his face as he checked you out. "Damn, still as beautiful as the day I met you."
"And you're charming as ever. Let's see what you got, don't go easy on me."
"Oh don't worry baby," Shanks reassured as he pulled out his sword, "I won't. "
Its safe to say that Shanks won that fight, but that wasn't the last time you guys would meet.
After that the two of you would constantly cross paths, and Shanks would never fail to make you blush. Constantly throwing flirtations your way as the two of you fought.
"You sure you don't want to join me?" Shanks asked, dodging your punch.
"Yes I'm sure, I don't think I wanna be couped up with smelling pirated all day, especially you."
"Well, this smelly pirate was the best dick you've ever had," Shanks teased, laughing as your face became one of embarrement.
The tension between you two was thick. And you wanted to beat him more than anyone. You wanted to wipe that smug look off his face, but anytime you'd get close, he'd knock you down faster than you could blink.
"What is this, 51-0?" Shanks asked as he pinned you down on the floor, the tip of his sword grazing your neck as he looked down at you.
"Shut up."
"Come on Baby, you're better than that."
The way Shanks asked you out was oddly romantic for a playboy like him. He has caught you while your ship was stationed at one of the islands in the Grand Line. You were in the woods, admiring the night sky as you came up with possible ways for your crew to get stronger. While you were thinking, you heard footsteps approaching.
When you turned around your gun was already out, and standing in front of you was Shanks, holding a bouquet of you favorite flowers. You were immediately caught off guard, just what the hell was going on.
"Shanks? What are you doing here?" You asked, lowering your gun slowly but still keeping your guard up.
"Hey, I'm not here to fight," Shanks declared. "Y/N, we've known each other for years, and the longer I've known you the more you've won over my heart. Everytime we part I keep finding myself longing for your return, waiting for our paths to cross again, even if it's for a fight I'll know I'll win."
The last sentence was a purpose jab at you, which helped in lifting up both his and your nervousness.
"I realize now that you're what I want," Shanks said as he handed you the bouquet of flowers.
"Shanks," You whispered, taking the bouquet as you tried to concele your excitement.
"Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?"
For the first time, Shanks saw you break your strong, cold marine persona. Before he could react you were hugging him, kissing his face more times than he can count.
"YES YES YES! FINALLY, I'VE BEEN WAITING YEARS FOR THIS!"
The two of your guys relationship is kept secret from the government, nobody outside of Shanks' crew knows about your little relationship.
Whenever you're on the battle field the two of you act far more cold towards each other than before, just to keep appearances. But, after the fights, the two of you are cutest couple to the point it's sickening, and everytime the two of you guys meet, you always end up in Shanks' Cabin.
I'd say Shanks with a Marine/Vice Admiral S/O is by far the cutest thing ever. Two strong people who constantly fight each other secretly dating, how scandalous.
Oh, and don't get me started on what your marriage would be like. That's when word gets out.
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thelightsandtheroses · 5 months ago
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everywhere, everything | jm x female reader [au]
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Summary: In recent months, the bar your family has owned for generations has changed. Now it can't keep a bouncer beyond one shift, attracts the 'wrong' crowd, and is an albatross around you and your cousin's neck. Your cousin's latest hire, Joel Miller, seems like he might just survive the shift and as time passes, you can't help but want to know him more. AKA the Bouncer!Joel fic Word Count: 8.2k Warnings: 18+ MDNI, mentions of canon typical violence, RoadHouseBouncer!Joel AU, no outbreak, no specified age but reader has a cousin and inferred (not detailed) family deaths in the past, flirting, smut (p in v), Joel Miller is his chaotic self, mentions of death of a child (canon), many scenes set in a bar and mentions of alcohol or drinking, your standard lolabee flangst and introspection, reader mentions music, singing and playing guitar. Notes: So much appreciation for encouraging me to write this fic goes to @trulybetty for listening toand supporting my ideas and @rhoorl. Watching the new Road House movie at the same time as starting TLOU games led to this idea I couldn't let go of. Fic title isfrom the Noah Kahan song of the same name.
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It’s starting to weigh on you.
You see it in your cousin more though; the weariness in her eyes as the local gangs come in and inevitably cause trouble. Both of you know where it comes from, the reasons behind it, why it’s so much worse for your roadhouse than anywhere else in the town.
Most days, you want to leave and sell up. Sometimes a fight is too much, it isn’t worth the cost, there’s too high a loss, too tiresome a battle. Everything your cousin possesses is tied up in the bar though. It’s not that simple for her and you won’t walk away from your family. You can’t.
The two of you cannot be the ones who let decades of your family’s legacy just wash away to nothing.
That was why your cousin had started with the bouncers in the first place. The two of you can only afford one, but it’s a small building, a small town.
“This one will be different,” your cousin says with a firm nod and smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “I just know he will. He’s new in town, he starts tonight and he - when you meet him, you’ll see what I mean.”
You don’t say that she said the same thing about the last bouncer - what was his name? Dave, or Frankie, or something like that. You’ve stopped learning their names now - it’s pointless when they never last longer than a few days.
The bar is still quiet; tinny music coming through the speakers as you finish unloading the clean glasses from the dishwasher.
“Are you playin’ tonight?” she asks.
“Might do. If the crowd let me,” you say, smiling at your cousin gently. It’s a joke now; the bar hasn’t been safe enough in months for that.
It used to be your favourite thing about this place; the music, the ability to perform songs and transport yourself to what could have been, what could be. It might not be Nashville, or the Sofi stadium, but it’s the closest you think you’ll ever get to feeling like a real musician. And now you don’t even have that.
“Good, they will. It’s going to be a good one tonight, you’ll see.”
The new bouncer is called Joel but your cousin calls him by his surname: Miller.
He’s quiet, not like the other one. Instead of stalking around and flexing, Miller sits in the corner of the bar, perched on a stool and staring into a cup of coffee as though it would answer all his queries about the universe.
You feel bad about the coffee; you should have warned him that it’s truly awful, pointed him in the direction of the small diner ten minutes away that serves some of the best coffee in the whole state. You think your own coffee isn’t too bad either; perfected and tweaked over years to figure out the perfect combination of beans and grind to bring the best out of your worn moka pot.
“Next time, I’d go for water,” you say lightly as you approach his side of the bar. It’s still quiet for this time of the evening but the trouble doesn’t usually start until after ten anyway.
“Oh, yeah?”
“I’m not sure we can even legally call this coffee. I think there’s more caffeine in the Kahlua.”
“You have Kahlua?” Miller asks.
“It’s a very old bottle, I really wouldn’t risk it.” You try and remember the last time someone ordered a drink with it here but it’s hazy. The Bar doesn’t exactly attract people for its cocktail list anymore.
“Pity.”
“I can get you a water if you’d prefer. Or something else?”
“It’s fine.” You notice Miller has pushed the cup slightly away from him though. He eyes it with mild disgust and you feel suddenly even more worried for him. If he can’t handle the coffee, he surely won’t be able to handle the patrons.
“You’re Joe, right?”
“Joel,” he corrects instantly.
“Joel, right. Sorry.”
“Are there that many of us passin’ through, that you don’t learn the names properly now? Is that why your boss calling me Miller?” He doesn’t know who you are, that’s clear. He doesn’t know it’s your family’s legacy here too and you’re not just a bartender. This place matters to you.
“It’s only your first shift.”
Joel sighs and meets your gaze. His eyes are deep brown and you take in the slight salt and pepper to his stubble, the surprisingly comfortable looking plaid flannel he’s wearing. At the same time, you notice the stoniness in his posture, the wariness in his eyes.
He isn’t spoiling for a fight because he lives for them, not like the other bouncers your cousin has hired.
You’ve already realised that Joel Miller fights in an entirely differently way to his predecessors. You can tell his biggest battles aren’t the ones in a bar like this. Without projecting too much, you think they’re probably inside his mind. No one has haunted eyes like that without a story. You’re a bartender, you can just tell.
“What have you have been told about this gig? Do you know what you’re getting into?”
“I know this place has some troubles,” he says carefully.
“I’ll say.”
You remember when things were different in the town, in the bar. It wasn’t like this back then. It used to be for families. Your aunt once joked that your dad’s cooking could bring the entire town together. It’s been a long time since the place was known for a family meal though.
You grew up with laughter and joy inside these walls. Now, it feels like it must have happened somewhere else entirely. This bar is still where you ran in after being asked on your first date ever, where you opened your SAT results, studied while the bar was closed, had every family significant gathering or event you can remember.
This isn’t just a job for you.
“How long have you been here? No offence, but you don’t seem the type -”
“It’s my family’s bar. Your boss you mentioned, she’s my cousin. The two of us run it these days, well I mean, I only help out. It’s her bar now more than mine but it’s been our family’s place for generations. We’re what’s left.” All that’s left.
“I didn’t know. I wasn’t - I didn’t mean anything by that.”
“Of course, Miller.” His words weren’t meant with offence but he had still managed to pick at your vulnerability that you don’t truly belong and cut at your soul.
Your family never thought you’d keep up with the bar, your cousin was the clear front runner to inherit it and you supported that. You wanted to leave your hometown, that had never been a secret and your childhood bedroom had been covered in posters and postcards for exciting and different places.
Once, you dreamt of Nashville, of music venues and guitar calloused hands playing idle melodies as a tour bus drove you to your next city across a starlit sky.
Life had different plans for you thought.
“This town didn’t used to be like this,” you add, “We’ve had a lot of bad luck and - the whole town is suffering. You wouldn’t have recognised this place if you passed through even just a few years ago.”
”I’m -“
The door to the bar crashes open before Joel can finish his sentence. You notice the first of the regular troublemakers walking in and warily look around the bar. You can tell by their posture, the look on their face exactly what type of night it’s going to be.
“Looks like your work will be getting started soon, Miller. I’d drink up.”
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He might just survive his first shift. That’s annoying - you have five bucks counting on him either walking out or be stretchered out like any of the bouncers by the end of the night.
You try and pay attention to your surroundings. It’s sensible in your line of work. For so many people that line between a good night and becoming the worst version of themselves is wafer thin and you’re often the first line of defence, you’re the one who has to say when someone’s not being served anymore.
Your cousin is in the back office, trying to sort out the multitude of paperwork that comes with owning a bar or business that nobody ever thinks about.
He’s calm, polite even for the most part.
He doesn’t escalate the situation, not like some of the bouncers who have spent a shift here recently. Mostly he sits and observes. His calmness is almost disconcerting and contrasts sharply with the danger in his posture, the readiness to move he’s concealing.
There hasn’t been too much trouble so far tonight; a mild fight which was easily taken outside but you can feel the tension in the air.
“Can I get ‘nother whiskey?” Robert slurs. He’s a regular to the bar now and has a particular penchant for not being able to handle his alcohol, being very resentful at being cut off, and worse of all never has enough money to cover his bill or damages.
“I think you’re done for tonight,” you say lightly.
“Nah, I say when I’m done.”
“Not according to the liquor licence,” you snark back.
“Look, just pour me -”
“You’re done.”
“You’re such a fucking bitch.” Robert slams his fist down on the bar.
“I think it’s time to go,” Joel says politely, suddenly standing next to Robert in the bar. You’re not sure if he’ll last as a bouncer here but you’ll give him points for stealthiness. You hadn’t even heard him approaching.
“I think -“ Robert starts before pulling a sloppy punch. Joel easily dodges it, raising his eyebrow incredulously at Robert.
“C’mon, now, it’s time to go.”
He places a hand on Robert’s shoulder and guides him out. You’re struck that he didn’t escalate the situation - that was the last bouncer’s mistake. What he hadn’t counted on was what Robert is a mean drunk and often gets a second wind of energy.
Joel walks back up to you at the bar. “The way people talk about this place. That wasn’t so -“
“That, Miller, that was nothing.”
You watch as another troublemaker, Owen, walks in, all biker vest and swagger. It’s never a good night when he’s here. Usually his presence signals a full moon style night of fights, shouting and misery. He hasn’t been in for weeks to your joy; you’d heard a rumour he was in jail. Not any more though.
“Miller you see now the trouble’s really going to start. That wasn’t even your warmup.”
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Sunlight streams through the window as you finish wiping over the table. It’s your favourite time of day in the bar. Your cousin is catching up on admin, sleep and supplier deliveries, the bar is empty and it’s just you, the stereo and sunlight.
You can’t help but lose yourself in the music just for a moment. You love this song, the beat, the lyrics, the way it ebbs and flows in all the right places. Music is magic.
You’re not in a rundown bar, not weighed down by obligation and memories and self-doubt. You’re not here, you’re somewhere else. In a city, in a crowd, on a stage or even just dancing around somewhere else. You’re lighter and freer and desperate for the song to continue just a little more as you spin around, humming along with the lyrics.
You hear the door open and turn around quickly. You heard about the diner getting robbed a couple of weeks ago. You should have locked the door.
Miller’s there, some light discolouration to his jaw from the one punch he didn’t dodge, but otherwise intact.
“You seem surprised to see me,” he says.
“You’ve cost me five bucks,” you reply simply.
He raises an eyebrow, “Didn’t think I could hack it*?*”
“The odds are the odds.”
“Well, I’m sorry about your money.”
“Yep, that five bucks was my ticket out of this town,” you joke.
“Not sure that would even cover a bus ticket,” he replies dryly.
“Maybe the coffee for on the bus?”
“Maybe.”
“So, day two,” you say awkwardly, swinging your arms around you and then immediately wondering why on earth you did that. You busy yourself by turning down the speakers.
“Yep,” Miller says casually, sitting on a bar stool.
“Have - are you hungry?” you ask, suddenly conscious that it’s lunchtime and Joel not doubt has another difficult day ahead.
“I could eat.”
”It’s nothing fancy, because the kitchen’s not open, but it is homemade - well, it was. I froze it but it’s defrosted and it’s really good. Also, frozen food still retains its nutrients well, and in the case of cake, freezing it makes it even better.”
“I see.” Miller pauses, “It’s not cake, is it? I don’t think I can eat frozen cake before a shift. ”
“No,” you argue, “it’s Tuesday, that’s what we’d do on a Wednesday! Today it’s lasagne.”
Miller smiles then. It’s a good smile. Slightly crooked and his eyes crease a little, the way you always associate someone smiling when they mean it. His deep eyes are momentarily lighter, there’s a change in him.
You want to tease more smiles out of this man, want to identify each and every changed in his face or the way his hands tap against the old bar. You want to keep him like this, bask in the glow that you’ve bought that expression to his face.
“Lasagne sounds great,” he says after a moment.
“Sure, okay, Miller. Coming right up.”
“Call me Joel. Please.”
“Okay, Joel.”
You like how his name sounds against your teeth, the way he smiles once more when you say his name.
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It becomes a habit. Joel survives shift after shift and inevitably turns up to the bar early the following day when you’re there.
He’s lasted longer than fourteen bouncers now. He might just make it. He’s quiet, yes, but you’ve seen the violence in his movements when needed, the way he tries to be polite and then it’s over, then it’s a line. There’s something that compels and terrifies you about the violence he holds, its contradiction because he speaks to you so softly and how can a man be capable of both?
“You need a second bouncer,” he says one morning as you’re trying and failing to sort the back door out.
The employee room in the bar is a barely functioning space. Cliche after cliche with the cheap red IKEA futon, mismatching furniture and chairs and elderly microwave and kettle. The air conditioning has never worked in the room and now the back door is jammed too.
The place is falling apart.
“Can’t afford it,” you reply nonchalantly. “We’re doing our best.”
“I know. But then someone could try and watch at the door, stop some of these people coming in.”
“I know. But no one’s coming in because they’re there so we can’t afford a bouncer. It’s uh, a catch 22. Can’t even afford to replace the damn -” You shove your weight against the door to no avail.
“I can fix that,” Joel says softly as you kick the door one more time.
“The gangs? That’s ambitious.”
“The door.”
“Oh, it’s just the weather and it always gets stuck now. Replacing it would cost-”
“I can fix it. I uh, used to be a contractor.”
“A contractor?” Joel hasn’t talked about his past much before. You know he has a brother, he’s the oldest and that he’s from Texas. Joel carries that
“Did you have to say that with the air of a cowboy in an old movie?”
“I wasn’t aware I did,” he replies, cocking his eyebrow in a way.
“What sort of contractor were you?”
“Building, just the general type.”
“Oh, okay. So you could actually fix the door?”
“I said so, didn’t I?”
“How do you get from contractor to bouncer?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’d expect so.”
Joel squirms awkwardly. You’ve watched him easily apprehend aggressive gang members shouting the vilest things to Joel and move them outside. You’ve seen him barely blink over ill drunks spilling their souls on his shoes. You’ve seen him so strong and resolute.
He looks at his watch which, for the first time, you notice is broken and then at the ground.
“It’s fine, Joel,” you say, “you don’t need to tell me anymore.”
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He keeps coming back, night after night and things start to change. It’s small, a fixed door and then a window catch replaced, the fact the gangs start coming around less. It’s change but the quiet type of change you only discover through previously entrenched routines.
You’ve spent time cataloguing his details, each scar or line, the way he takes his coffee (black, but a two to one ratio of sugar that makes you wince a little). Joel Miller has a sweet tooth.
You’re used to Joel now, you like talking to him in quiet moments in the bar, before or after shifts as he hangs around just a little longer. You tell him about the town, about how it was growing up, he lets it slip he’s from Texas, mentions a brother, Tommy, and you want to unpeel his secrets more and more.
You proudly place the slab of cake in front of him. Rain hammers against the windows and roof, creating great echoes as it sounds like the bar will come down around you. It’s unseasonal, the rain, an omen of quiet days. Today you don’t mind.
“What’s the occasion?” Joel asks, looking at the cake curiously.
“It’s a Wednesday.” You take a bite of your own slice, savouring the flavours, the delicate balance of sponge and icing. If you can say so, it’s a pretty great cake. You really have improved over recent months and while this was experimental, you’re happy with the result.
“Ah. Say no more.”
“Also, congrats, you’ve officially been here for eight and half weeks.”
“I pass probation then?” Joel looks around dubiously, clearly concerned your cousin or others will suddenly pop out in some surprise party or sense of occasion.
“Pretty much passed that by coming back on day two, but that’s my cousin’s domain. I just pour drinks.”
“And provide frozen food to the bouncers.”
“Only the ones who come back. Besides, it’s defrosted. I can take that cake back you know.”
“No, don’t you dare.” Joel takes a large forkful of the cake. “So why the cake though, sweetheart?”
“You, Joel Miller, are officially our longest standing bouncer.” You clap lightly in mock celebration as he cocks an eyebrow in response.
“What an honour,” he replies sardonically.
”You’re welcome.”
“Do I need to make a speech?”
“I think it was the speech that bought the previous record holder down.” Clint had lasted forty-five minutes after that speech. It was a bad night - a particularly nasty gang fight.
“Hubris,” Joel says lightly.
“Exactly.”
“Not bad for a contractor turned bouncer though.”
Joel laughs. “You going to tell me that story one day?” you ask, hoping your teasing expression hides how genuine your question is.
“Maybe,” he says. “You’ve not hit my records yet.”
“That a challenge?”
He shrugs and walks towards the door to ready the bar for opening.
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You hand Joel the frozen peas wrapped in an old cloth. After the commotion, your cousin’s closed the bar early. It’s hard to recover the night from a scene like that and you’re pretty sure the broken table and glass amount to some sort of safety violation at the least.
“Thanks,” Joel says gruffly.
“You could have a concussion.”
“I'm fine.”
“You’re bleeding.”
Joel looks at his cracked knuckles and raises a finger to the cut on his head, lightly touching it and observing the blood that comes away on his hand. “’m fine.”
“You hit the bar.”
“Standard night on the job.”
“You hit it with your head.”
Joel shrugs, nonchalance and mischief at once.
“How’s the idiot?” Owen had come in with the intention of causing trouble; something about the rival gang, or his girlfriend, or something that would never justify his trail of destruction. Joel had maintained his usual rules; polite, carefully moving Owen outside the bar, even as he tried to fight back. You’re not sure how it went so wrong, how instead of getting Owen outside suddenly there were more of the gang, broken tables and chaos.
It’s been weeks since a night like that. It makes it feel brand new, the hurt starker somehow.
“He needs to go to hospital,” you say, wrapping your jacket around you after you lock the bar door, keys heavy in your hand.
“Oh.”
“He’ll be fine. His friends are taking him. You probably need the hospital too, I’ll drive you.”
“’m fine.”
“You’re not. Get in the damn car, Joel.”
“I’m -”
“The car, Joel. Don’t make me start calling you Miller again.”
Joel holds his hands up and shakes his head. “Fine, I’ll go.”
“Excellent,” you say with a sweet smile.
You drive in near silence but once you’re both in the hospital waiting room, he talks. He talks more than he ever usually does.
“I didn't need to come here,” he grumbles.
“Are you on the lam?”
“What?” He asks incredulously.
“You seem reluctant to be in a hospital that takes down personal information. It’s a reasonable question.”
He sighs, pinches between his eyebrows. “No, I’m not on the damn lam. I just - I just don’t like hospitals.”
“I don’t think a lot of people do. I guess it’s an occupational habit with your work.”
“I patch myself up usually. Last time I was in one of these places, it was … I was …”
“Joel, it’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” You reach for his bloody hand and squeeze, unsure if the blood on it is from his own split knuckles or the fight. The violence of his body contrasts so much with the man you talk to, the friend you’ve made.
“When I told you it was a long story, how I went from a contractor to this … it’s, I don’t know.”
You shift so you can face Joel and try and model your best supportive expression. Joel and you talk about everything now, but he’s guarded and this is the first time he’s volunteered this story to you.
“We can talk about it later.”
“I had a daughter,” he says so quietly that you can barely hear him. “And then I had a chance, a second chance to - but it’s been a mess. I’ve been a mess. I’ve got a lot wrong.”
So much of Joel Miller makes sense to you know and you can understand the sadness that crosses his eyes sometimes, the reluctance to talk about his past.
“Haven’t we all?” You pause. “I’m really sorry about your daughter, Joel.“
“I don’t know how to make it right now though.”
“I think,” you say gently, “all you can do is try. For what it’s worth, you’re making a difference here, you’re making a difference with me.”
“Really?” He glances up at you, suddenly years younger and as you nod a slight smile light up his face briefly.
“Why don’t you tell me about her? If you want to.”
He smiles. “I do, but not tonight, but I will.”
“Joel Miller,” a doctor calls.
“C’mon, you’re up.” You squeeze Joel’s arm before standing up.
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The balance has shifted and something’s changed.
The bar changes gradually like the way spring teases itself for weeks. It’s all subtle shifts, blossoms of hope and shoots of a future you didn’t dare think of too much. The bar might survive, your cousin is smiling again.
And then there’s you and Joel. Joel, who still pops in to talk to you even on his days off. Joel, who you sit out with after the bar closes and drink beer and play guitar to the stars.
“You should play here,” he says, taking a sip of his beer, “you’re good.” “You’re better. I can’t play guitar like you.” “Nah. Just had more practice at best. Your voice is pretty, so pretty.” “Oh, I’m not so good at playing. I’m better at singing,” you say. “Four basic chords are about my limit on the guitar.” “Don’t do yourself down.” “Trust me, I’m not.” You pause. ”Joel, you could - you could play with me. If I ever played here. it’s probably stupid.” There’s something unreadable in his eyes, a soft smile on his lips. “No, I’d like that.”
You’re accustomed to his presence, his low but grounding voice, his calm demeanour throughout all chaos.
He’s told you more about his past now. About Sarah and how her loss tore him apart for years, and also about the foster daughter he took in, Ellie. He won’t tell you much about Ellie though, except they stopped talking around about the time he became a bouncer. He once asked you if you would do anything to save the life of someone you love and you said yes. He nodded and moved on. You think it’s connected, you’re not sure.
You’ve worked at a bar long enough to know when it’ll be a bad night. There’s an electricity in the air, a tension that is so tight anything could snap it. You look over at Joel to see if he’s picked up on the same energy.
He’s sitting on the stool, observing quietly, but you notice the slight furrow in his brows. He looks at you and his mouth twitches into the smallest of smiles, but there’s anxiety in his eyes.
“I heard that Owen’s gang declared war on the Rattlers,” you say in a low voice. You don’t like Owen, or his friends, but the Rattlers are worst. Owen’s gang is the typical cliched grouping of a small town that’s become lost. They drink too much, throw punches without thinking and cause trouble. They’re not evil though.
The Rattlers are.
“Didn’t hear the Rattlers came through here,” Joel says in a low voice. “I heard of their reputation at a previous gig.”
“Their uh, second in command, is that the term? Anyway, he’s had a thing with someone in town for years. On and off. Guess it’s on again.”
“They cause trouble when they’re here?”
You scoff. “This was starting to feel like -”
“It still is, it still will. Let me do my job,” Joel says firmly.
You want to trust him; you do trust him. It’s the Rattlers that worry you, the feeling in your gut that this hard sought over peace is threatened, the deep and terrifying fear that this bar can never change. Not now. Not even with Joel.
Joel smiles at you, the picture of reassurance. “Owen might not come in here. This is hardly a welcome environment for his group anymore.”
“Joel,” you say nervously, “I just … I have a feeling.”
Joel doesn’t laugh or dismiss you; he straightens up and nods.
You’re not sure how things fall apart so quickly. One moment the bar was quiet, then Owen was there and before Joel could get him to leave, the Rattlers were here too. Maybe it was planned, maybe it was what they all wanted.
“Evening, unfortunately I need to ask you all to leave tonight,” Joel says politely, standing from his barstool. “I’m afraid the business is at capacity and we have a private function on.”
“Well,” Owen begins.
“Leave.”
“Look, Miller, it’s not -”
“I’m not asking, Owen.” Joel’s voice is low, deadly, the tone he uses when polite words fall flat, when it’s time to not be nice. “That goes to all of you.”
Owen falters slightly at the sound of that, you wonder if he remembers how things went the last time Joel used that voice.
“Y’all got a function on?” one of the Rattlers asks you. He’s covered in tattoos and is wearing a leather vest with numerous patches with no other top underneath. You wonder if he based his outfit on the existing tropes, if he’s intentionally as cliched as possible or if it truly is just an unspoken truth now. His hair is slicked back into a ponytail that highlights his receding hairline and a puckered scar that runs from his brow to his nose.
“I’m afraid so, gentlemen. While we, uh appreciate the desire to visit, I’m afraid Mr Miller is correct.”
“Really?”
“Uh huh. It doesn’t look so-”
“Please,” you say quietly.
For a moment you wonder if it will work, you’re on bated breath as the Rattler steps back and moves to say something to his gang. However, that’s the very moment Owen smashes a chair on his back and hell breaks loose.
“Oh, thank you so fucking much for that,” Joel says in an irritated voice, immediately pulled into action to try and get the situation outside, away from the patrons, from you.
You step backwards, hoping the protection of the bar will be enough.
People are running out of the bar as the chaos unfolds. It’s a flood of sound,
Someone pushes Owen onto the bar, pummelling him as you try and back away. “Please stop,” you say.
Then a flash and searing heat.
That’s when you hear Joel swear, you notice his eyes have darkened, his entire demeanour has changed.
Your vision is blurred by something and you can feel a sharp pain on your face along with something sticky and hot when you touch it.
You shut your eyes, willing the events away and allowing yourself to crouch under the bar and wait for the noises to stop.
It’s fine. It’s fine.
You’re fine.
“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay,” a soothing voice says. “Ladies and gentlemen, I apologise but we do have to close early today.”
There’s a pause, noise around you and then something cool on your face. “I need to see the damage, okay? It’s me, it’s Joel, you’re going to be okay. I’ve got you.”
You open your eyes to see Joel crouched in front of you. He’s holding a damp cloth that is already soaked in red.
“You’ll need stitches, I’ll drive you.” Joel moves your head gently and nods. “Your eye looks okay; can you see normally?”
“Yeah. What happened?”
”Fucking - it was Owen, he grabbed a glass from the bar and instead of hitting the rattler - ”
“Got me.”
“Yeah. It’s deep but um ‘”
“I’ll live. I’m okay. Don’t need hospital.”
“Huh, you trying to prove a point here? How annoyin’ it is when someone who needs hospital won’t go?”
”It’s fine, Joel.”
“You’re hurt,” he says and he looks disappointed.
You feel a burst of shame, you should have defended yourself better.
“I’m going to call your cousin and tell her what happened and then I’m driving you to hospital. No arguments, okay?”
You try and smile weakly in acquiescence which seems to only make Joel frown more.
His hand lingers on your shoulder slightly as he hands you the seatbelt after bundling you into his truck. He moved quickly, closing the bar, making a hushed call in the corner to your cousin and then immediately guiding you out, a clean cloth placed in your hands to hold against your cut.
There’s a nodding dog ornament on the dash, something that doesn’t seem like Joel at all.
“Ellie,” he says quietly as he notices you looking at it. “Keep the pressure on that wound, okay?”
He turns out of the bar.
“Didn’t seem your sort of ornament,” you reply placidly.
“She called it Ernie, I - that kid.” Joel sighs heavily.
“You could call her,” you say, braver in the wake of your injury.
“I would. But she doesn’t want to hear from me, trust me.” He mumbles something else you can’t make out.
“You’re a good person, Joel. She -”
“I’m not.”
“You are,” you say, “trust me, I know bad men, but you aren’t one of them. Owen? The Rattlers?”
“The bar’s pretty damn low there.”
“You know the town I live in.”
Joel chuckles mirthlessly.
“I was going to play tonight,” you say quietly, “I thought it was time. That’ll teach me.”
“You could still play, maybe tomorrow though.”
“It would be harder with the blood right now.”
“Just a tad.”
“Thanks for driving me.”
“Of course.”
You wonder if he’s trying to return a favour, whether he’s the sort of person who just can’t feel indebted to someone else. Now you’ve bled on his car too, now you’re even?
He looked worried though. You think about the way he sounded too, the forced calmness when he checked on you.
You’re friends.
That’s normal, right?
“I’m sorry,” he says suddenly. “You shouldn’t have got hurt.”
“Joel, it’s … you can’t be everywhere at once. It’s not on you.”
“I should have -”
“Miller,” you say sharply, “it’s not on you. Not one bit. Do you think I can bar Owen for good now?”
Joel chuckles. “Yeah, I reckon so.
“Good, well that’s something, isn’t it? Almost makes it worth it. Do you think it will scar?”
“I don’t know, sweetheart.”
You pause. It’s vanity, you know, but the idea of this leaving a permanent scar on your face hurts worse than the injury itself.
“That’s not ideal. I-it’s stupid.” It feels so foolish to be worried about a scar when things could be so much worse, for your own vanity to say ‘well, now, you’ll never make it as a musician or star’ or to focus on your looks. It’s normal, it’s human, but it makes you feel guilty.
Joel looks at you carefully and he places a warm, solid hand on your hand that is not holding a compress to your face. “You’re so beautiful, you know that, right?” he says in a low voice. “This won’t change that. It couldn’t, okay?”
No-one calls you beautiful. There’s been half-hearted claims of your ‘hotness’ with exes, of your friends’ encouragement when you make a particular effort in your appearance, but nothing like this. Nothing that feels this sincere either.
He takes his hand away as the doctor joins you. You can feel the heat lingering like butterflies as the doctor attends to your wound.
Joel stays with you the whole time.
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You hear the guitar before you can see him. Soft, melodic chords that reach a crescendo as you walk closer to the small cabin style house he’s renting. You’re not sure if it’s a complete betrayal of the trust from when you dropped him off after his hospital trip weeks ago, but you need to see him outside of the bar.
“Hey,” he says in surprise when he sees you. He places the guitar carefully down before standing up to greet you.
“I’m sorry to just turn up, I hope it’s okay.” You awkwardly clasp your hands and wring them together. “I was passing through and I thought - I thought I’d say hi.”
This is a complete lie; you are not passing through at all.
You’re wearing your favourite outfit and you sprayed an extra two spritzes of your best perfume on this morning. In fact, you have made considerable effort when you think about all of this.
“No, it’s great. I’m happy you stopped by.”
“You’re good. The guitar, it was … really good. I’ve not heard you play that before.”
“Oh, it’s just something I’ve been working on.”
“It’s really good.”
“Nah, not really.”
You frown, hands on your hips and he raises his own hands in defence.
“Can I - do you want a drink?” Joel indicates inside the cabin and you nod enthusiastically.
“That would be great, thanks Joel.”
There are three cabins in the area that a local businessman rents out. Joel’s cabin is the closest to the woods, the one that’s slightly hidden away. Inside it looks like a typical rental; the slightly shabby furniture and neutral demeanour that feels void of any character, the aged kitchen stove and units, an abundance of wood furniture.
There are touches of Joel too though. There’s a vinyl player and box of records on the coffee table, a plaid blanket over the sofa and a couple of photos on the fireplace mantle. You think they might be Sarah, maybe Ellie, but you don’t want to pry.
This changes things. It’s not the bar, neither of you are at work, or hanging out outside after a shift. This feels more personal, more intimate. This is Joel Miller, the real Joel, the one you can’t hide your feelings for now.
You do have feelings for Joel.
It’s funny, when he started you wanted to keep him at a distance because you expected him to leave like everyone else, you thought the bar was beyond help. You wondered if you were beyond your dreams. He’s helping bring you back though.
It’s his calm demeanour, the wry expressions and dry humour, his plaid shirts and the way when he smiles, which is rare but you’ve seen it, his whole face softens and lightens up. It’s electric.
You think about him all the time; reading articles you try and remember to bring up at the bar, when you hear a song he’d like. Joel’s found his way into your life and you don’t want to let him go.
He’ll leave though. The bouncers inevitably do, most people in your life do. You just don’t want that with him. You want him to stay.
“Are you okay?” Joel asks.
“Why?”
“You have that serious thought face on.”
“I have a serious thought face?”
Joel scoffs. “So, what’s up?”
“I just - I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here.”
Joel frowns then. “Why not?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay, c’mon I said I’d get you a drink, right?” Joel indicates the sturdy wooden table and you sit obligingly. “So I’ve got a choice of tea, well It says it’s tea anyway. Uh, some whiskey, beer, water …. I’m out of coffee.”
“That should be illegal.”
“Shouldn’t it?”
“I might just leave now.”
“Wouldn’t blame ya.”
He’s close to you now and you feel emboldened by the fact you’re here, you’re with him and he’s not pushing you away or looking like he wants to leave. Maybe, just maybe this is a great idea.
“Now I think about it though, I’m not sure that I’m thirsty after all,” you say boldly.
“Oh no?” He leans in closer, hands hovering just over your waist. “Look, you don’t want -”
“I do. I do want.”
Joel swallows. “Really?” He’s looking at you as though you’re something mythical, something intangible he could lose at any second. There’s reverence in his eyes and it’s overwhelming and beautiful at once.
You nod. “I’m not the only one here who - I’m not though, right?” There’s a hint of nervousness in your voice now, a sense that perhaps this isn’t the great idea you thought it was just seconds ago. It’s like whiplash. This is why you should just focus on music instead.
“No,” Joel says softly, “you’re not.”
His hands, hands you’ve seen both acts of violence and hold your injured face so gently, skim your body. Joel’s hands, like him, are contradictions. He steps minutely closer, a little more into your space and oh so welcome.
He smells like soap and coffee, with the faint hints of autumn you noticed around the cabin and there’s something magic in this Joel Miller. Something in every sense of him, the way he touches you, the sound of his voice, the feel of his skin and sound of his voice that instantly draws you closer, that makes heat pool in your stomach.
He kisses you and you reach for his hands, entwines them together. He stops, concern mounting over his face. “You’re injured, I should have -”
“Doesn’t hurt,” you say softly, drawing him close again.
You’re a mess of hands and lips, a clash of sensations and finally, finally this is happening you think as h guides you further into the cabin. Towards his bedroom.
He guides you past the kitchenette, down the narrow corridor to his room.
You want to drink him in, absorb every detail of his body and commit it to memory.
There’s a ragged scar on his abdomen, a light scattering of stories across his body from other bars, other jobs, other Joels.
There are other details you want to remember though, especially the look in his eyes right now, heavy with desire.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says. You’ve heard the words before in similar settings but it’s been clear to you it’s the lust, it’s the ‘right’ thing to say. You know when isn’t meant, the lack sincerity signalling a paint by the numbers dalliance at best.
Joel’s voice is fervent though. Honest. He means this.
The majority of your clothes are soon discarded, both yours and his in a combined mess on the floor.
Your hands are running through his hair as he guides you onto the bed, as his fingers hover over the edge of your underwear.
He pauses, just for a moment. You wonder if it’s recognition of the line you’re both about to cross, if it’s to give you the space to confirm that yes, you still want him, to offer an out just in case.
You reach for his face, run your hand down his stubbly cheek. You’re trying to sum up your thoughts, to bring everything you want to say together into a neat sentence.
You smile and gently say, “I want you, want this. I thought you knew.”
“I didn’t, I didn’t think you’d want me. Been driving myself crazy thinkin’ about you lately.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Why don’t you show me what you thought about?” you ask.
He smiles as his fingers finally reach beneath your underwear, carefully pulling them down and then gently gliding his finger.
You’re wet, almost embarrassingly so, you think, for just making out.
“This all for me?” He asks with a devilishly teasing tone.
You don’t immediately answer, just smirk as he teases up to your clit and traces circles around it, smiling as you finally make a groan of contentment.
He slides a finger inside you, lazily moving it within you, finding that spot that makes you moan, adding another finger.
You feel close already, but he withdraws his fingers and then, looking at you, brings them to his mouth one at a time in a move that makes your cheeks heat up.
He moves to his bedside drawer, fumbling for a box of condoms you suppose. You’re still lost in catching your breath, in replaying the last few moments, in anticipating what’s about to happen.
He kisses you before positioning himself and you ready yourself for him.
You’re entwined, adjusting yourself for the feel of him, the weight of him. Hands interlocked with his as he finally moves, as he meets your kiss once again.
He adapts quickly, noticing micro=movements or sounds and changing his rhythm to draw every one of them out, to bring you to the edge once more.
You’re both a mess of rushed breaths, a chorus of names and gasps, ebbing and flowing to tease each other apart.
He’s everything and nothing like you expected. Hoped for even.
The feeling builds in your stomach, the rush of pleasure building almost unbearably.
Finally, finally you get your release. The ripples of pleasure ride through your body as the two of you lie together, boneless, catching your breath.
You usually feel a need to say something, to fill a silence, but it’s comfortable. You roll over, daringly placing an arm over Joel’s chest and leaning close. He pulls you towards you, kissing your brow lazily
You can feel his heartbeat, the warmth of his skin.
You feel like you could stay here forever.
Instead though, you’re practical. You excuse yourself to his bathroom to clean up.
You take in your reflection; the telltale signs of your exploits feel so visible to you as you freshen up.
He’s not in bed when you return. You pull your clothes on and head back into the main room of the cabin.
Joel’s wearing his jeans and not much else, humming as he concentrates on something by the stove.
“I promised tea, didn’t I?”
“We did get sidetracked.”
“Well, that was welcome,” Joel says. His voice is so much softer than you’ve heard it in the bar. There’s a vulnerability leaking through with each moment you stay here. It’s two sided, you can feel your own edges softening, a desire to open yourself even more to the man in front of you.
“I agree.”
The kettle boils and you watch Joel making the tea, try and not lose yourself in the broadness of his shoulders.
“So …” you break off, swinging your arms nervously and then wrapping them around yourself.
Joel hands you a steaming mug. “So,” he says. His voice is calm though, relaxed and somehow that helps.
“That wasn’t exactly what I thought was - I didn’t turn up for this specifically, you know? It wasn’t intentional.” Not that intentional.
“Would you have been wearing a trench coat if it was? Seduce me properly?” There’s mischief in his eyes as you meet his gaze.
“That a fantasy or something, Joel?”
He laughs. “Maybe, maybe it is.”
“Okay then. Logging that for another day.”
“Oh really?” Joel’s smile warms his entire face, it softens each feature and it’s something you never want to stop seeing.
It feels like you’ve known him so much longer. You feel comfortable in his house, you feel comfortable around him.
“So we’re opening back up at the weekend,” you say, “Got any plans for this time off?”
“Nope. You?”
You shake your head. “How about that?”
“Hmm, that’s not right. We should do something about that. Let me take you to dinner?”
“Dinner?“
“People still do that, right?”
“Yes, but - I’d love to.”
“Great. I’ll uh, defer to your recommendation, seeing as you know this area more.” It hits you then. Joel doesn’t have roots here and the bar, except for the Rattlers, has improved. What does this town, what do you have to offer?
“Are you going to leave?” you ask suddenly, the anxious thought you’ve tried to suppress bubbling to the surface.
“Leave?”
“When the bar’s open, when there’s no trouble.”
“There’s always some trouble.”
“Don’t. You know what I mean.”
Joel sighs and takes a sip of his drink. “Usually, I would.”
“But this isn’t usual?”
He points his hand at you and adds, “I don’t make a habit of this. I don’t …. Usually, yes I go in and out of places and I don’t stay long.”
Your heart sinks. “I understand,” you lie.
“I think, I think maybe there are some reasons to stick around here though?” It’s a question, not a confirmation. It strikes you then that maybe Joel feels just as exposed as you do.
“I think there could be,” you say.
“Good. I’m glad.“
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The bar looks like the Rattlers never came through here. Everything is neat, clean and in its place. There are no broken chairs or tables. It seems almost impossible for how short a time ago it was.
Joel helped, you realise, he helped your cousin bring this place back.
“Are you okay?” she asks, “I can cover the bar if you need -”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re sure.”
You pause and run your hand over the smooth, clean bar surface. You think of Joel, of the conversations over so many nights about music, about what makes you happy. “Can you still cover the bar for a bit?”
“Sure.” Your cousin pauses and hesitantly puts down the crate of soda bottles. “Is everything -”
“I want to play tonight.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, I’ve got to stop waiting right for the right moment, right? Just do it,” you say.
“And this has nothing to do with a certain bouncer?”
“No,” you say, thinking of the scar on your face, the battles you’ve won and will win in the future. “It’s for me.”
You can feel his eyes on you. It doesn’t make you feel nervous or under a spotlight though as you carefully sit on the stool.
It’s almost as though it’s just the two of you. Another night after work under the stars and messing around with a guitar. Or outside his cabin, thick flannel wrapped around you as you both play.
The bar feels safer somehow. It’s funny considering the recent Rattlers attack. Maybe that’s why - they came in and they tried to wreck the place, you were caught in that crossfire, but you survived. The bar survived. And the locals are back, the locals you wanted back. If you shut your eyes, it almost feels like before when your family ran the place.
It’s different though, because it’s your cousins. Because even though it might not be on paper, it’s yours too. Your legacy. You don’t want to fight it anymore. You don’t want to feel cynical about this town.
You look at Joel and smile and then you start playing.
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Everything Pedro tag-list: @harriedandharassed@pedrostories@hiroikegawa @pedrosaidsheispunk @pastelnap
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ceilidho · 10 months ago
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oh i just know bear latches onto the single pregnant woman working at the diner closest to his place, he sees her as a way of saving her from gods wrath if he married her and adopts her unborn child and he gets the family he always wanted with Lena (who idk she rubbed me the wrong way in the show, maybe its due to the shows inability to write woman but i digress) but like that god complex sort of mentality that has been building in him with the loss of his navy brothers, the divorce and the loss of his own child idk man youre the one with the amazing brain and ability for these concepts god i love your work sm its not funny.
oh you've got something insane cooking here........
divorce has been finalized, Lena's long moved out and maybe even left the state altogether (I'm not touching what actually happens in the last ep)......only his work is really keeping Bear upright at this point, otherwise he would've just gone on a year long bender. he still has his bad days though, weekends where he just disappears. passing out in the bushes outside his house, waking up with a kink in his neck and a headache that threatens to split his forehead open. spends his days questioning why God has allowed everything else in his life to fall apart, has allowed countless other people to die, but just won't kill him.
and then one day he stops at the diner for a quick meal before heading to the bar and notices the new waitress. pregnant, obviously so. not terribly far along, but noticeable. his first thought, the most immediate thing that jumps into his mind is what she's doing working at this crummy diner on a friday night. just his luck that he's seated in her section and remembers how to turn on the charm, smiles and asks for her name and peppers her with compliments and she just rolls her eyes and smiles bashfully like she's used to grumpy old men melting around her.
when he finds out that the guy that got her pregnant has long since skipped town, told her in no uncertain terms that he has no interest in becoming a father, Bear's eyes go cold and hard for a bit. after what he's been through, the thought of someone having everything that he's always desperately wanted handed to them on a silver platter and then...sending it back...has him feeling just a little off-kilter. not quite right. it doesn't last long and he apologizes when she seems unnerved, but the rage still sizzles under his fingertips. makes his hands shake, old nerve damage and anger problems.
but as he sits there, drinking his coffee and lingering, the hour slipping by into the next, it starts to come together in his mind. why he's been forced down this long road alone, why God hasn't struck him down yet despite every terrible thing he's done. he was supposed to be in this diner with this sweet girl and save her. make her an honest woman, give her baby a father. bring her into the lord's house and do for them what he couldn't do for his daughter and fallen brothers.
so he sips his coffee and waits for her to come back to his table. and plots.
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ennn · 6 days ago
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Lilia and Agatha: The Comfort of Fate and Death
I've been pondering Lilia's arc in Episode 7 and what it might say about Agatha's arc and the show's exploration of fate, choices, and death, because they all seem intertwined.
Let's take a walk through my thinky thoughts, shall we?
Fate and Agency
Lilia hid from her power because all she saw was death, and she couldn't stop or change it. She had been chased away for trying to warn others of disaster. And because MCU witches can apparently live a damn long time, all this death and loss and sense of helplessness crippled her.
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So she forgot herself, forgot her power. And just like Agatha, Lilia also gave up on having a coven because it didn't work out the first time.
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But despite everything, Lilia did still try to make a difference in helping Billy using the sigil. She saw the boy needing help and decided to try.
And she realises she did make a difference. He's standing with her now. Despite running away from it for years, her power enabled her to do something that mattered.
And when confronted with a vision of her own death, Lilia decides not to leave the road but to go to her coven who need her. She embraces her fate (her death) and saves her coven.
It's interesting because it feels like Lilia's destiny coming true but it also feels like Lilia is making her decisions and driving her story. Because we're with Lilia as she goes through this journey.
But is it all ultimately a matter of fate? Can fate be changed or are these points fixed regardless of what we do? Because divination means they can be perceived in advance? I don't think the show will give us any definite answers. And maybe there aren't any.
Maybe it doesn't matter if it's fated or not, but what we decide to do with the information and power that we're given in a moment. I like to go back to that quote from the Angel TV series, because it sums it up so nicely:
If nothing we do matters, all that matters is what we do.
The fate and commonality of Death
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It is what we all have in common.
Lilia's story also makes an important point about death: Yes, death can be frightening, and lead to pain and grief and sorrow, but it's part of being alive, part of the common human experience.
Death can tear a person apart but it can also bring people together, if you let it. It can be a comfort.
And every living thing's fate will be death, one way or another. We don’t need divination powers to know what awaits us at the end. But what will you do, knowing this fate? Not just for you but for the ones you love?
This issue is further compounded for these witches, who seem capable of living for centuries or longer. They can experience the pain of deaths across many human lifetimes and they also deal with death more often as a persecuted or misunderstood community.
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Lilia tries to escape the pain of death by isolating herself from other witches and hiding away as a hermit. She doesn’t want to see, to keep futilely trying, so she runs from her power.
Agatha, on the other hand, is a creature of ego and hubris. She believes that rules can bend to her power. She refuses death, refutes it. To Agatha, death is a challenge, and perhaps the ultimate mystery – and she’s big ol' nerd who loves a mystery – so she's fascinated by it.
Complicating things is how Agatha ends up falling for Death and vice versa. And in so doing, she gets emboldened about bending the rules. She's not above manipulating Death to keep herself just a bit more safe.
But the end result for Agatha is still isolation, like Lilia, because Agatha removes herself from that common experience.
There's no one to grieve with her, to comfort her, when Nicky dies. Especially if Agatha's first instinct is to hate and blame Rio for not bending the rules for Nicky (especially if Rio did bend them a little for her).
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It's actually a similar message to the Death tarot card: Change will happen. Resisting the change, not letting go, will only make the transition more painful.
Agatha clings to control but there's only so much one can control, and it's ultimately harming her. Lilia struggles with this before she is reminded that her role is only to see.
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To see and ask her question to the cards, and in so doing remember herself. What she's missing, what she actually wanted to find walking the Road.
For Agatha, I think she has to come to terms with fate being bigger than her, and with having less control than she wants, than is healthy. And in so doing, open herself to a coven she deeply wants.
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johnnie-guilberts-eyeliner · 10 months ago
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Pls I love this idea sm thank you anon!
[I probably won't be answering asks in order, I'll most likely just do them as the ideas come to me, but I'll try to get them all done!]
Johnnie X Fem!reader (she/her pronouns used) (and jake and tara are still dating here!)
Context you and johnnie have been dating a little over two years. You live w him and Jake webber.
Today you wake up in your shared bed with johnnie, him still sleeping. You turn over and watch him sleep peacefully, not trying to be creepy. He's just genuinely so beautiful in his sleep and he looks so peaceful. You tuck a strand of his hair behind his pierced up ear and kiss him. This wakes him and he kisses back sweetly and passionately. "Good morning sweetheart" you greet him as he groggily tells you "good morning y/n" before smiling at you and kissing you again. Just then your closest friend in LA, tara yummy (also a fellow youtuber) Burst through the door yelling "ITS NEW YEARS EVE BITCHES, WERE GOING TO A PARTY AND YOU WHORES NEED TO GET READY" she laugh yells at johnnie and you before blowing yall a kiss and leaving the room to get yourself ready. Leaving you and johnnie to laugh for a moment before getting up and starting to get ready. You decide on matching outfits. Johnnie is wearing a white dress shirt, his pinned black leather jacket, black pants with white designs, leather boots and chain for his pants and his normal black eyeliner and eyeshadow. You are wearing a cropped white band shirt, with a short black leather skirt w a chain, fishnets, heeled leather boots, and a black leather jacket with studs and spikes on it. You both have your normal rings and other jewelry on. You straightened your hair and curled a couple pieces before doing your normal makeup/eyeliner with glitter. You snap a picture of your matching new years outfits and post it to your Instagram story. You both walk out of your shared room to find jake and tara ready to go and sitting on the couch. "OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS LOOK SO GOOD AAAH IM OBSESSED" tara squeals as she snaps a picture of you two sends it to you. You laugh before telling her "thank you boo, you look mighty fine today as well i should add" you look at tara as she does a little spin and laughs. Jake watched the interaction and says to johnnie "what's the point of having girlfriends if they just flirt w each other" they both laugh before starting to walk out the door. The girls following suite. Jake's driving, Tara's in the passenger seat with you behind her and johnnie behind jake. "So who's hosting the party this year" you ask jake as he drives. "Sam and colbys this year, since we went to kian and jcs last year" jake says keeping his eyes on the road, then hooking his phone up to the aux and playing a random playlist.
*timeskip a while later*
Everyone is enjoying themselves at the party drinking, smoking, vaping and generally just vibing. Johnnie is by your side the whole night with his fingers intertwined into your fishnets and a drink in the other hand. You and johnnie get many comments and compliments on your matching outfits which makes your heart flutter.
*another timeskip*
Your now sitting on the couch with johnnie next to you. Your leg swung over his, one of his hands on your thigh and the other holding his jack and coke. You take your hand and pull his face to meet yours, pecking his lips. He responded by pecking yours again. Just then you get a text message notification from tara and it's a picture of you and johnnie, literally 2 second ago, kissing. You look up from where you are and see her smiling directly at you two before flashing a thumbs up and continuing doing what she was doing.
As midnight approaches you and johnnie observe everyone getting drunker and drunker, like jake and Kian are currently fighting over a cupcake. Couldn't explain how or why that's happening but it is. You watch the time and see that it's 5 minutes away from midnight. Everyone gathers in the living room with their drinks and/or smoking / vaping device and start counting down. By this Point you and johnnie are now stood up, side by side, hand in hand in the crowd of people.
"5..." they start counting down
"4..." as each second goes by johnnie inches closer to you, his drank sat down somewhere he'll probably forget.
"3..." his arms creep up your thighs to sit comfortably on your waist and he holds eye contact with you
"2...." his gaze is so intense as you snake your hand to hold his face and the other to lay comfortably on his shoulder
"1..." you kiss each other with such passion and love as the countdown ends and all the drunk and high people are cheering and throwing confetti and glitter everywhere. You and johnnie stay kissing for a while longer than you intended. Allowing tara to snap yet other picture of you two, sending it to you again.
After the countdown, people almost immediately start leaving and piling into their cars and ubers. You took Jake's keys hours ago because he's way to drunk to drive and so is tara. Johnnie helps lead the drunk jake out the door and to the backseat of his car, a drunken tara following who is just mumbling and rambling on sits next to jake in the back, laying on his shoulder when she gets in. Johnnie then joins you up front in the passenger seat, pecking your lips before buckling his seat belt.
*yet another timeskip. Youre now at you, Jake's, and Johnnie's. *
You decided tara is spending the night bc she's too drunk to function on her own. After taking care of the drunk couple and making sure they get to bed, you and johnnie resign to your shared room where you both quickly change clothes and crawl into bed together. You laying on Johnnie's chest.
"Happy new year my love" you tell him as you kiss him "happy new year pretty girl" he responds before kissing you again and cuddling into you. This is the way you both end up falling asleep. Which you couldn't be more happy about.
(Lmk if you enjoyed and happy new year everyone!)
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