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shadowsingerdraco · 5 months ago

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sjmU modern university fic

PART TWO

(part one linked at the bottom)

summary: cassian deals with his hangover and the lingering affects of nesta… more on azriel and lidia’s history

pairings: rhys/feyre, azriel/elain, azriel/lydia, cassian/nesta (these are all insinuated or hinted at but nothing explicit happens… thats for later hehe)

warnings: this fic contains sjm multiverse characters so there may be spoilers regarding characters. this is a modern au so i wont stay close to cannon most likely. but i just wanted to put that in here. also, drinking and smoking mentioned, partial nudity mentioned

notes: i want this to be a multi part series. i hope to include many smjU characters so stay tuned!

words: 2.5k

—

Cassian felt like a right asshole as he nursed his hangover. Azriel sat across from him, sipping his own cup of coffee while Cassian’s remained untouched. He was afraid if he ate or drank anything, he’d puke it up.

“I need to apologize,” Cassian rasped, and rubbed his fingers into his temples.

Azriel raised a brow at him. “And how do you plan on doing that? You’ll likely never see them again.”

Cassian let out a groan. A wordless agreement to Azriel’s claim.

The day passed by in a haze. Beer bottles and sticky red solo cups that none of them had bothered to pick up were scattered around the apartment. Azriel usually took care of it, but he had locked himself up in his room all day with Lydia. She had stayed over last night—though that wasnt unusual. After Cassian and Az’s chat this morning, Azriel had silently made another mug of coffee with two sugars and some milk and brought it into his room. They haven’t come back out.

It was aproaching three o’clock and Cassian was begining to get hungry. He went over to Az’s door and thumped his fist against it a few times before saying, “I’m going to get lunch, do you guys want anything?”

There was some rustling before the door creaked open to reveal Lydia, who was wearing Azriel’s hoodie and her hair tossed into a bun. The fabric fell to her knees, but Cassian had a hunch she wasn’t wearing any pants. He was going to tease her about it but she spoke before he could.

“Where are you going for lunch?”

“The deli,” Cass replied.

Lydia pursed her lips with a small nod. “Alright, get me and Az regulars. One with no pickles, the other with no onion.”

Cassian gave her a mock salute and she shut the door. On his way to his truck he dialed Rhys, asking him to come to lunch with him. He responded with a quick sure.

When the boys were sitting down at their table, Rhys was looking down at his phone with a schoolboy grin on his face.

“What the fuck are you so giddy about?” Cassian said with a mouthful of bread and salami.

Rhysand looked up, the smile still on his lips. “This girl, man. She’s funny.”

Cassian almost choked on his sandwich at the statement. The sisters. Nesta. Her name clanged through his head, ringing and ringing and ringing.

“You got her number?” Cassian asked, unable to school his wide eyes.

Rhys scoffed. “Of course I did. Best shag I’ve ever had in a bathroom.”

Damn. Nesta might have been a bitch about it, but she was right about her sister and Rhys.

Cassian let out a low whistle at Rhys’s confession. He was going to start giving his brother hell about it, but Rhysand was already looking back down at his phone, tapping away and chuckling to himself. Rhys never kept contact with his one night stands. Damn, these girls were turning their worlds upside down it seemed.

A few more moments passed, and Cassian coughed out, “So, uh, do you think you could see if Feyre and her sisters wanted to meet up tonight?”

Rhysand looked up from his phone, brow raised. “I don’t see why not.”

Cassian just nodded his head in acknowledgement and dove back into his lunch, not wanting to face Rhys’s knowing gaze. Bastard.

Back at the apartment, Cass sent Azriel a text letting him know that their sandwiches were on the counter and went into his bedroom. He definitely didn’t spend the remainder of the afternoon playing video games to ignore the five hour countdown until he saw Nesta again. Definitely not.

Meanwhile Lidia and Az sat on Azriel’s bed with their lunches spread across their laps, Lidia’s computer propped between them, Home Hounds playing on the screen.

“That house is so ugly,” Lidia said through a mouthful of turkey, lettuce, and pickles. “They should pick the first house instead.”

“No way,” Azriel responded, mouth just as full. “The husband likes this one better. He definitely will win her over to this one. She seems like a pushover.”

Lidia hummed in agreement. The show continued to play and they continued to make idle commentary. This was how the two usually spent their nights: Lidia and him lounging around, eating and watching casual T.V. They would occasionally smoke a blunt of murthroot, but that wasn’t usual and typically reserved for parties. Azriel only liked to do it when he was feeling particularly anxious, and Lidia did it so he wasn’t doing it alone.

The pair had been best friends since they were kids, growing up next door to one another. Azriel used to sneak into her room, climbing up the large oak tree that sat between their windows. The first time it happened, Azriel’s step brothers were banging on his bedroom door trying to get in. Those boys terrorized him any chance they got. They would put tacks in his shoes, steal his lunch at school so he wouldn’t have anything to eat, and beat him up whenever Azriel did so much as breathe wrong. Not that his parents cared all that much. His dear mother worked nights at the hospital so she never really saw him, whereas his step-father thought his demon children could do no wrong. Everything was Azriel’s fault and would turn a blind eye to his bruises.

Azriel felt panic sliding up his spine at the constant banging on his door, his step-brothers shouting threats at him. Then, there was sudden quiet. A stillness. Azriel calmed, thinking the boys must have given up or gotten bored. His hopes were shot down quickly as his door handle began to rattle. Not a harsh, insistent jostling, but a gentle wobble. Azriel felt his blood run cold. They were picking the lock. His one place of solace was about to be destroyed, ripped away on its hinges.

Azriel darted his eyes around, trying to think think think. He had nowhere to go, nowhere to run except—except the window.

They were still working on the doorknob as he hurried to the window on the farside of his room, undoing the latch with shaking hands and slid up the glass pane. The gods must be real and giving him a wink as he looked at the large oak tree that seemed to be reaching out to him with it’s sturdy branches. Azriel sent a quick thank you to the Mother and climbed out of his room and into the chilled night.

Once he was sure of his footing, he turned back and slid the window closed, not wanting to leave any evidence behind. He didn’t know what his step-brothers would think about his empty room, but he just hoped they didn’t follow his footsteps. Azriel continued to make his way across the expansive oak, hiding himself in its leaves. He kept going, looking back periodically to make sure he was alone.

He took his eyes off his path and towards where he assumed his window was one time too many as his foot met air. Azriel had nearly fallen to his death, or at least to a broken arm, but he was able to catch himself. With his heart thumping in his chest, he looked up to find not only the end of the branches, but another window. And a girl. She stared at him with wide eyes, her hair dripping wet from what Azriel assumed was her shower.

Azriel gave her an awkward smile and a wave. She let out what seemed to be a laugh. They both stared at each other for what felt like hours to Azriel, but then she snapped her head to her door, smile now gone. Azriel’s stomach dropped. She was going to get in trouble for this, he thought. But then she looked back at him, face set in what could have been determination, walked over to her window and slid it open.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi.”

“I’m Lidia. Do you live next door?”

Azriel debated lying but then that would be weird for him to be in this tree. So he said, “Yeah. I’m Azriel.”

Lidia smiled at him. She was missing her front left big-tooth. Azriel had just lost one on the bottom himself.

“That’s a cool name,” she said. “What does it mean?”

Azriel hated the blush that he felt bloom on his cheeks. “Uh, thanks. And I don’t know. Does it have to mean anything?”

Lidia nodded, as if she knew the answer to all his questions. “It has to. It’s a word, after all. And all words have meaning.” Her eyes got big then and she snapped her fingers together. “Oh! I have a book for this!” She quickly turned around and disappeared into a corner that Azriel wasn’t privy to.

She came back into view with a large orange book in her hands. Azriel furrowed his brows in question. When Lidia noticed, she explained, “It’s a baby name book. My mom kept it from when she was naming me.”

She began flitting through the first couple of pages before asking, “How do you spell it?”

Azriel told her and she continued to frown at the book, pink blossoming on her own cheeks this time.

“What’s wrong?” Azriel asked. She had been quiet for a minute now.

She looked up, lips pulled tight and eyes hard. “I can’t read the stupid thing.”

“Oh,” was Azriel’s response.

“My teacher says I’m not reading on the expected level for a second grader,” Lidia confessed quietly.

“Well if it makes you feel any better, I’m really bad at math,” Azriel said. A burst of wind rippled through the tree then, making him shudder. Lidia gave him a funny look then and asked why he was in the tree in the first place. He almost blurted the truth, but second guessed it. He didn’t know this girl, why should he trust her? People haven’t proved themselves to be kind to him.

“I like to climb trees,” he said with a shrug.

“At night? In the cold?”

“I like the night time,” Az said. This wasn’t a lie. He did like the night time. It was the only part of the day where he had come to peace. Well, usually.

They continued to chat for some time before Azriel heard a distant voice call Lidia’s name. She looked to the door again before turning to him, frowning.

“That’s my mom. She’s calling for me to turn out my lights and go to bed.”

Azriel felt like a stone dropped in his stomach. Don’t go, he found himself thinking. Don’t make me go back.

But she smiled at him and said, “Do you want to play after school tomorrow?”

He opened his mouth to say yes, but then he remembered, “I can’t. I have chores and I won’t be done in time to play before dinner.”

Now it was Lidia’s turn to seem disappointed. But she seemed to be full of solutions because she said, “Well what if you came back to my window? I have some chalk and we could play tic-tac-toe on my window seal!”

She seemed really excited about this, so Azriel agreed. And he did show up the next night. And the next. And the one after that for the rest of their adolescent lives before they packed up their things to move away for college.

Somewhere in there, they shared kisses for spin-the-bottle or smoking games, but they never passed this threshold. They were of the same breath by the time they reached teenage years and there was nothing embarrassing or too much for the other. As for them falling asleep in the same bed with Lidia in nothing but her underwear and his t-shirt was something they had done for the first time on their senior trip to Avallen..

Lidia’s piece of shit boyfriend (per Azriel’s assessment as soon as he met the guy) cheated on her with best friend. Lidia had no interest in sharing a room with her that night and went straight to Azriel, who went straight to her ex and gave him a busted lip. Lidia wasn’t sad at first, but instead dove into deep anger and had no patience as she snapped at Azriel by telling him that she would not be sleeping in her jeans and would not be wearing a bra and that he would just have to get over it if it was weird. He had simply chuckled and raised his hands in mock-innocence and laid on the floor, resolving to only his boxers and a t-shirt himself. It wasn’t until he heard her soft sobs in the middle of the night and couldn’t stand the sound of it and crawled in with her, holding her tight to his chest.

They never really went back to modesty after that.

So here they were, eating a Cassian bought lunch in bed without a care in the world but one another. That is until Azriel’s phone buzzed with a text inviting him to a small pub with the boys and the three sisters from the party last night.

“You wanna go?” He asked her, his dark hair falling above his golden eyes.

Lidia shrugged with a nod of acceptance. He told her that they would need to leave in the next hour. So they watched another Home Hounds episode before they got up and Lidia dug around in her drawer of clothes that Azriel kept for her. She threw on a light blue v-neck tee and jeans, her hair in a pony-tail. Azriel settled for one of his many black shirts and black jeans and they walked out into the living room to see Cassian picking up the aftermath of last night. Lidia thought she must be dreaming.

“Cass, are you okay?” she asked, half teasing.

He paused in his movement of putting a red solo cup in the open trash bag he was carrying. “Yeah, why?” His voice was labored, as if he had paused his run instead of a clean-up.

“Because you never clean. And here you are doing just that. Not to mention you’re doing it right before a night out.”

Azriel leaned as if to whisper in her ear, but said it loud enough for Cassian to hear, “He’s antsy because he is nervous about seeing Nesta again tonight.”

Lidia made a silent, overdramatic oh.

“Fuck off, Az.” Cassian snapped, but just chucked the cup into the trash before picking up another one.

The pair just laughed at him as Rhys walked out of his own room, looking impeccable in his black denim jacket and styled hair. “Let's go,” he said, throwing his keys up in the air and catching them.

Cassian just dropped the trash bag onto the floor and followed Rhys out the door.

Lidia and Azriel just shook their heads and headed out the door.

—

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gyutopia · 5 months ago

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world of sinners i | sim jaeyun

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: your parents are the head of one of the nation’s most lucrative syndicates and your older brother is heir to the throne which leaves you free to leave this world of evil behind. you’ve been waiting for this day for twenty years of your life, you can practically taste the freedom. what will you do, however, when your parents arrange a marriage for you to bind together their empire with the Lee’s to stop a full on gang war?

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: sim jaeyun x f!reader ft brother!sungchan

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: mafia!au, arranged marriage!au

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 9.0k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: dark themes, mentions of prostitution, drugs, mentions of violence, mentions of guns, vulgar language, mentions of death, forced marriage, corruption, consumption of alcohol.

— T E R M I N O L O G Y: abeonim ; father

➵ 𝑎/𝑛: this is the revamped version of my fic! the original can be found on @vintagejaemin, this was originally meant to be for ateez but i’ve decided to turn it into an enha fic ! :)

masterlist | next

“I’m stepping down.”

The dining room is silent. You stop cutting your steak to look up from your plate into your father's eyes. He returns your gaze and waits for you to question him, but you don’t. Instead, you turn your attention to your glass of Sauvignon blanc.

You hear your older brother clear his throat before placing down his utensils and addresses your father. “If you don’t mind me asking, what brought this about?”

You pick up your wine glass and swirl it around before bringing it up to your lips to finish it off. Your father's eyes flicker to you but you’re too busy trying to get drunk to notice.

Dinner with your family is something you’ve always dreaded. The atmosphere was always stuffy: elbows off the table, sit up straight, chew with your mouth shut, take small bites, make pleasant conversation, don't talk with your mouth full, finish your plate, use your napkin, ask for permission to leave the table. It felt like a chore rather than a meal.

Often, you could get out of family dinners by giving your father some bullshit excuse but tonight he wasn’t buying any of them. He claimed he and your mother needed to discuss something important with you and your brother. You guess this is pretty important news.

Your father clears his throat and swirls the whisky in his glass, the sound of ice clinking against the glass reverberates within the room.

“Well, Sungchan, I figured it was time you took over. The transition might be a long one, I have things I need to take care of but once everything is settled, the throne is yours.”

You place your glass back onto the table and sit straighter in your seat. You look at your mother but she makes a point to avoid your eyes. You pull your gaze away from her and turn to look at Sungchan who’s sat by your side, “congratulations.”

You knew this day would come, you just didn’t think it would come so soon. To your knowledge, your father’s in perfect health and things within the Empire have been running smoothly; you don’t see the need for Sungchan to take over just yet. Sungchan spares you a smile and a small nod of his head.

“As you two know, things are getting tense with the Lee’s,” the situation your father is referring to is the gang war that’s on the verge of starting with the Lee family, another mafia that rules the other half of town. Things are starting to heat up at the border, your dealers keep roaming into the Lee’s territory and their dealers are doing the same to you.

It’s causing you both to lose money and it’s led to a rise in gun violence. Men are dropping dead left and right in the streets, you tried telling your father to redraw the borders and give some land to the Lee’s but he quickly dismissed you saying you didn’t know what you were talking about.

“Your mother and I sat down with Lee Jaehee and his wife, and after much discussion we came to an agreement.”

“What are the terms of your agreement, Father?” You ask, your interest peaked.

Your father glances at you but doesn’t answer, refusing to fully meet your eyes and so your mother does. “We’ve arranged a marriage between you and their heir.”

Your parents register the shock on your face before you can hide it. You do your best to reel in your emotions before an argument breaks out though. Sungchan, sensing your shock that’s slowly beginning to morph into anger, reaches a hand out to place it on top of yours under the table to help calm you down.

“What about our agreement, Father?” You ask, steadying your tone so he doesn’t scold you for being disrespectful. The agreement you’re referring to is the one you made with your parents months ago. Seeing as Sungchan is heir to your father’s Empire, you saw no need to stay in this world you’ve come to despise and convinced your father to allow you to walk away once you graduate college.

You’ve always ranked number one at school, never once have you gotten a mark below a 90 in any of your classes. With perseverance and determination, fueled by your desire to leave this lifestyle behind, you graduated early and began taking classes at Sungkyunkwan University your junior year.

You major in both fine arts and business administration. You’re in your final year and college life has been a dream. You’re now twenty years old and set to graduate within four months. You have plans to leave South Korea and migrate to Paris with Haru and Anton, your two best friends and college roommate, following your graduation.

“You’re allowed to continue your studies but following your graduation, you’ll be getting married.”

Every word stings, only fueling the fire that burns inside of you. Your fists begin to clench and your jaw roots. Knuckles hurting from clenching your fists too hard, and gritted teeth from an effort to remain silent, your now hunched form exudes an animosity that’s like acid.

“No.” You say, leaving no room for discussion.

Your father looks at you in surprise, you’ve never talked back before. “No?”

You stand abruptly, the force knocking over your chair. “No. I won’t be a pawn in your ridiculous scheme. You know how I feel about your line of work, I played my part for the last twenty years and paid my dues. I refuse to enter a marriage agreement and get roped back into this mess!”

“____⏤” Sungchan gives a warning call of your name only to be cut off by your father who raises a hand in his direction.

“In case you’ve forgotten who I am and your place in this family, let me remind you. I am your father and as my daughter you’re to do as I say. As long as you have my blood running through your veins, you will never be able to leave.”

That is the breaking point of your patience. At that moment, your rage is so intense that it leaves you seething and with a bitter taste in your mouth.

“The Lee family will be here on Sunday for you to meet their son. Don’t be late.”

You glare at your father, “go to hell.”

He smirks and raises his whiskey glass in your direction, “Sweetheart, I’m the king.”

“I’m sure you’re both wondering why I’ve called you here.” Jake and Heeseung take their respective seats in front of their fathers desk, anticipating his next words.

For the past year, their father and his men have been keeping a close eye on the two brothers to see who is more fit to take on the role as head of the Lee Empire. At first, Heeseung was set to take over due to being the oldest and legitimate son. Knowing this, Heeseung took advantage of his position and began abusing the power he had yet to inherit.

He became a wild child. He spent his nights in Hongdae strip clubs and would often blow all his money on prostitutes. It was pathetic really, it also wasn’t a good image for the Lee’s, so their father stepped in and declared the throne was up for grabs.

Jake was never really interested in taking over, he grew up knowing that no matter what, Heeseung would ultimately rule over the underworld. Being the bastard child born from the product of his fathers affair, he was often kept hidden in the shadows. The sudden declaration came as a total shock to him and although he hadn’t been keen on taking over before, he knew he would be a fool to pass this up.

A rivalry sparked between the two brothers as they went head to head vying for the same position. While Heeseung was out getting high and drunk off of their father’s riches, Jake was at home studying his father's tactics and memorizing the names and faces of every associate of the Lee Ring.

Because Heeseung had been unfocused for so long, it had taken him longer to submerge himself back into the game. Once he had gotten his groove back, however, it was clear he would make a ruthless and good leader. Although he had his moments where he would slip up, who their father would choose was really up in the air.

“After careful evaluation I’ve decided to hand over the empire to Jaeyun.”

Jake lets out a relieved sigh and bows his head respectfully. “Thank you, Abeonim. It’s an honor to be given this ti⏤”

“You can’t be serious?” A low growl escapes Heeseung’s parted lips as he cuts off Jake and looks at his father in shock, “I deserve that title! It’s my birthright!”

Their father sends a sharp glare his way, “you lost that right when you chose to focus your attention on booze and hookers.”

Heeseung scoffs, “I can rule better than he can and you know it! You’re choosing to punish me because your ego is in the way!”

The two brothers watch as the whites of their father's eyes turn to pure black, his icy stare lethal and piercing. In that moment, Jake feels grateful that he isn't the one on the receiving end of their father's anger.

“Watch your tone, Heeseung. And must you know, this has nothing to do with my ego. You’re simply not fit to take over.”

Although Heeseung knows this could end very badly for him, it doesn’t stop him from continuing. “Everything you’ve built will turn to ash if you hand it over to Jaeyun. Be smart for once and give me the rights to the Lee Empire!”

Jaehee slams his fist on the desk, vexed at his oldest son's actions. “Enough! I will not be made a fool by my own son. You say you would make a better leader and yet your actions fail to line up with your words. Over the past year Jaeyun has proved himself to be the better man,” he pauses to take a breath, “he’s kept up with his studies while simultaneously helping me run the empire while you were too busy being pussy whipped.”

Heeseung’s cheeks heat up in both shame and embarrassment but his father doesn’t stop just yet, “tell me Heeseung, do you know why we had to switch suppliers? Do you know what’s going on with the Feds? Most of all do you even know what’s happening at the border?”

The room falls silent as Heeseung fails to answer. When it’s obvious he won’t be giving an answer anytime soon Jaehee turns to Jake and sighs, “inform your incompetent brother of what’s been going on while he was off getting head.”

Jake clears his throat and sits up in his seat, “we had to switch suppliers because some of the men were stealing baggies and selling them for their own profit. As for the Feds, they’ve caught wind of the donation of thirty million won to the Korean government, they suspect corruption and launched an official investigation two days ago. And regarding the border, we’re on the verge of a gang war with the Jung’s.”

Taken aback by the sudden onslaught of new information, Heeseung briefly forgets why he was mad in the first place. “The Feds launched an investigation? What are we going to do?”

Jaehee scoffs, “what do you think? We’re going to comply with their requests. The president is on our payroll, we’ll be cleared of all charges in no time. Until then, I’m going to need you both to lay low.”

The two brothers nod their head in understanding, “yes sir.”

Jaehee nods in satisfaction. “Good, now onto the last thing I would like to discuss with you. As you now know Heeseung, we’re on the verge of war. Any good leader will do everything in their power to avoid war which is why your mother and I sat down with the Jung’s to try and come to an agreement.”

“In order to secure things at the border, we came to the agreement that Jaeyun shall enter a marriage with their youngest daughter, that way we can bind together our families and show that we’re a united front to the public. Having them as allies will help us greatly, we’ll be having dinner with them on Sunday so you two can meet. Any objections?”

Jake has millions of objections, an arranged marriage? He knew if he obtained the position of head of Lee Empire this day would come but it feels too sudden. He hasn’t even fully assimilated to his new role and he’s now being thrust into a marriage with a girl he doesn’t even know.

Although he has his objections he doesn’t voice them, he knows better. With a small shake of his head he says, “no sir.”

His father smiles, looking proud of his youngest while Heeseung only glares at the hourglass sat on a glass shelf above his father's head.

“Good, you’re dismissed.”

It’s Sunday afternoon and in a last attempt to get yourself out of this outrageous marriage agreement, you’ve woken up early and dressed yourself in Jung Empire colors. Your body is adorned in an extravagant emerald green v-neck tie blouse with skin tight black jeans.

Your hair is tied up in a ponytail and your feet are encased in a pair of six inch red soled Louboutins that Sungchan had gifted you for your birthday. The Rolls Royce that you're riding in pulls up in front of your fathers warehouse for bagging, you thank the driver before exiting. You stare up at the daunting building and tuck your Bottega Veneta clutch under your arm, although your relationship with your father is rocky, you were once close and a daddy’s girl. You never had to ask twice for something, he was always willing to do anything for you. You can only pray he’s willing to do the same now. If he doesn’t budge however, begging isn’t beneath you, you’ll get on your knees if you have to.

You enter the building and find your father smoking while circling around the tables where his men are bagging a new batch of cocaine. You slide your eyes over to Sungchan who’s standing in the corner of the room talking to his security detail. You take a deep breath before marching over to your father.

“Can I steal you for a moment?”

Some workers look up to stare at you in confusion momentarily forgetting the task at hand but the man you called for doesn’t even spare you a glance. He stops to slap the side of a man’s head to pull his attention away from you, “careful. She’s an engaged woman.”

You scoff at your father's words, “Father, can we please speak?”

He continues to ignore you and moves down the row of tables filled with men weighing out the bags. “I’m listening, darling.”

You don’t want to have this conversation this way but you know that once your father is focused on his Empire, nothing else matters until he’s done. “I don’t want to marry him, please don’t do this.”

Your father slowly inhales his cigarette, still not looking at you. “I thought I was clear when I said no the first time you asked me this, ____.”

You sigh, “I won’t be happy if you make me do this!” You stop walking but he continues, your frustration builds and you stomp your foot, “will you pay attention to me for once damnit!”

He stops in his steps and takes one last drag of his cigarette before dropping it on the floor and snubbing it out with his shoe. He carefully turns to look at you and shoves his hands into the pocket of his suit pants. “Tell me, ____, how are things looking for the Empire, business wise?”

You frown, what does that have to do with dissolving your arranged marriage? “Sales are up ten percent from quarter one due to expanding on the south side and spending has decreased by fifteen percent after cutting ties with the Byun’s. I went to meet with the Chief of Police and made a settlement of two billion won, you now have complete jurisdiction over the Gwangju district. Business is running smoothly, you should expect an increase of twelve percent revenue wise by the end of the new quarter.”

Your father smiles and steps closer to you to take your face into his hands. “You’ve always been a bright girl, ____. It would be wasted potential to let you walk away from this lifestyle. While your brother makes for a great leader, you make one hell of a business woman. Such a shame I can’t keep you here to continue working for our Empire.”

You remove his hands from your face and clutch them desperately in your hands before shaking your head, “you know I hate everything about business management and this lifestyle. Whether I stay here with you or get married to the Lee heir, I will always be unhappy and you know that!”

Your father sighs and turns on his heel, “happiness is an illusion, my dear. Now, I believe you have an engagement dinner to go prepare for.”

He walks away and orders for one of his men to drive you back home to get ready for tonight. You dejectedly stare at your father’s retreating back, completely at a loss. What now? Do you go through with this unwanted marriage or do you make a run for it after you walk the stage for your graduation? You follow the buff man ordered to take you home and get in the back of the all black SUV parked out front. He drives you home in silence, leaving you to drown in your thoughts.

It doesn't take long for you to arrive, you’re home in under thirty minutes leaving you with plenty of time to get yourself ready for tonight.

You exit the vehicle and trudge up the polished steps of your two story mansion. You breeze past the kitchen, where your mother is informing the chef of tonight's menu. You head to your room and gently close your bedroom door moving on auto pilot. Sitting on your bed, you allow the news to fully sink in. Your fate has been decided and there’s no way out.

Left with no choice, you begin assembling an outfit for tonight. You skim your closet in search of your dusty blue frill hem lace dress you had gotten from Chanel. Once you find the dress you move to place it on your king sized bed and move back to your walk in closet to get your crystal open toed Jimmy Choo pumps that you gifted yourself during finals week sophomore year.

You walk leisurely to your bathroom, strip down, then step into the shower. You turn the water on high; the steam thickens and warms, rising up to your face. You bathe your skin lightly, taking care to not rub yourself raw. You make sure to wash your face and hair thoroughly before getting out of the shower. You then dry off and head back to your room to get ready.

You hydrate your body and slip into your undergarments before getting to work on your makeup. You shape and draw your brows before working on your eyeshadow—you go for a neutral eye look with an undertone of baby blue to go with your dress. Once satisfied, you go in with your mascara and apply one layer for both eyelashes.

Now that your makeup is finished, you move to your bed and pick up your outfit for the night and give it one last glance before slipping on the dress. The mini length dress has an a-line neckline, short sleeves, and a trumpet skirt. The bodice is fitted and fits your figure easily. You look stunning, if it weren’t for what awaits you downstairs, you would be excited but you know better.

There’s a light knock on your door that pulls you out of your trance. You sadly turn to look at your door just as Sungchan walks in. He offers you a smile and gently shuts the door behind him. “You look beautiful.”

You play with the lace of your dress, “thanks.”

A heavy silence soon settles over the two of you, thicker than the uneasy tension you’re sure sits in the dining room where your guests await you. You glance around your room to try to avoid catching your brother's gaze. Things have never been this tense between the two of you, the atmosphere is usually light and fun.

Sungchan has always looked out for you and made sure you’re comfortable. You have no doubt that he tried to talk your father out of signing away your freedom. It’s what Sungchan does. He always looks out for you.

“We should probably go greet our guests.”

Sungchan turns to walk away but you reach a hand out and grab onto the back of his suit jacket, “W-wait.”

He turns to look at you. He takes one good look at you and his shoulders drop. He envelopes you in a hug and soothingly rubs your back.

You bite down on your lip to prevent yourself from crying. You refuse to shed any tears over this situation, you need to be strong. “I know this isn’t what you wanted and it’s not fair that it’s happened to you but please continue to be the strong woman I know you are.” Sungchan whispers into your hair.

You sigh, “it’s not fair! I don’t want to marry him. Why do I always get the short end of the stick? Hm? Why is it always me?”

Sungchan chokes back a sob, it physically hurts him seeing you so sad, it’s a contrast from your usual behavior. You’re always a bright and bubbly person who tries to be optimistic no matter what.

“I know, don’t worry. I’ll fix things, just be patient for now. I’ll fix it.” He then whispers under his breath, “I promise,” but it’s too low for you to pick up on what he said.

You two spend a few more minutes enjoying the embrace before Sungchan reluctantly pulls back. “We should attend to our guests. I’ll head down first, you should fix your makeup before coming down.”

You nod and let him exit your room before making quick work of reapplying your mascara and fixing your eyeshadow that had smudged.

You apply a neutral tone lipstick from your fifty piece Tom Ford Boys and Girls II collection and go over it with a clear lip gloss to make your lips shine.

When you’re done you take a deep breath to calm your nerves before exiting your room. You walk down the hallway and stop at the top of the stairs to collect yourself one last time. Once you feel ready, you descend the large staircase and walk towards the dining hall where you hear chatter and laughter floating through the area.

You stop in the doorway and scan the table. Your father is sat at the head with your mother to his left and Sungchan to his right. Next to Sungchan is a red haired male with multiple piercings, from months of studying books filled with all Jung Empire’s associates, you know he’s Lee Heeseung, the eldest Lee son. A lady is seated beside him, you assume that’s his mother. At the end of the table sits Lee Jaehee and to his right sits a buff black haired male who’s engaged in a conversation with your father. The seat beside him is empty, you presume it’s meant for you. He must be your suitor, the bastard child⏤ Sim Jaeyun or Jake.

You continue to stare at the long black haired male and make an assessment. He’s a sight to behold, no doubt about that. But looks aren’t everything, what if he’s a monster? Was he the type to get violent if he didn’t get his way? Would you fear for your life once you signed the marriage license?

As if he can feel your stare, he looks up and locks eyes with you. A forced smile takes over his lips as he raises his glass in your direction, all parties present at the table turn to the doorway to stare at you as well. You fidget under their stares but you don’t cower away.

You walk over to the seat beside Jaeyun with your head held high, you greet everyone before taking a seat. “It’s about time you joined us.” Your father jokes.

You give him a forced smile and bow your head, “forgive me, I wanted to take extra care to make sure my looks were above par.”

Jaehee chuckles, “it’s alright dear,” he picks up his glass of whiskey and raises it, “shall we make a toast?”

Your father hums and raises his glass as well. Everyone soon follows. A server, noticing you don’t have any alcohol to toast with, quickly steps up and fills your flute glass with champagne.

You raise the flute and clink it against the other seven glasses, “to the engagement of Jaeyun and ____ and the binding of two powerful families!”

You mumble a small cheers under your breath before peeling back the glass and taking a small sip. It goes down easily and slightly burns your throat, there’s a bitter taste at the end that has you shivering in your seat. You take a few more sips before placing it back down. While it’s not strong enough to get you drunk, it could still give you a pleasant buzz and you need to be fully sober for tonight.

You look across the table to find Heeseung throwing back his glass of whiskey. He gulps it down and raises the empty glass in the air for a server to take and refill. You study the older male and notice there’s something off about him. By the way he’s sitting you can tell he has no interest in being here and with the way he’s throwing back alcohol without a care in the world, completely disregarding the glares his father sends his way you just know he’s the problem child.

He has a certain air about him, he almost seems angry. You cock a brow as you continue to study his actions, he swaps out his whiskey for a glass of champagne. He downs it in one go and huffs in annoyance when the server is a beat late in refilling his glass.

As he’s waiting for his fix, he looks up and sends a harsh glare in Jaeyun’s direction. You frown and follow his line of vision to find your soon to be fiancé smiling brightly at Sungchan while they converse about stocks.

You drum your fingers against your flute of champagne as you silently hum in understanding. There seems to be some sort of animosity between the two brothers. You wonder what happened.

Before you get to dwell on the situation, more servers file into the dining hall with your meals. You’re first served a bowl of soup but you only get three spoonfuls before it’s being taken away and replaced with a butternut squash ravioli topped with rosemary browned butter.

You’re able to get in a few more bites before it’s taken. You don’t mind it though, the taste of the squash was too strong for you. A kale salad with Asian grapes, candied walnuts, gorgonzola cheese, honey and vinaigrette is what’s next on the menu.

You push your food around, not at all interested in eating the salad. You would have preferred a Cesar instead. Not much is said, your parents discuss business but the four of you (Heeseung, Jaeyun, Sungchan, and you) stay silent, not bothering to get to know each other.

The main course comes soon and you’re glad it’s a bit bigger than the last three meals you’ve been served. It’s balsamic covered lamb chops drizzled with a white bean purée. Once the main course is served, conversation begins to flow between Jaeyun and you.

“Your father tells me you’re a student? What do you study?”

You finish chewing your lamb and clear your throat, “I study business management and fine arts.”

Jaeyun nods, impressed, “fine arts? Is that a passion of yours?”

You smile and nod eagerly. Talking about anything art related always fills you with joy. Art has always been your escape, you had hoped to become an art director once you had graduated and migrated to France with Haru and Anton. Your mood slightly crumples, just a week ago that dream was plausible but now it’ll remain nothing more than a dream.

“It is, art is a very beautiful form of communication and expression. It’s helped me through some dark times”

Jaeyun smiles at your words and looks at you thoughtfully. He had his own doubts coming into this dinner but you’re not as bad as he had assumed.

Dessert is soon served, it’s a pear tart with almond cream. You take your time enjoying the sweet treat but it’s gone too fast for your liking. The adults soon wrap up eating and conclude their business talk.

You think the dinners over and get ready to excuse yourself but your mother starts a new conversation. The topic being your wedding.

“Oh I can’t wait to see you in a wedding gown, ____! I just know you’ll look lovely.”

You inwardly cringe at her comment but don’t speak on it.

“Why don’t you two go for a walk in the garden? Take some time to converse and get to know each other, you barely talked during dinner and the whole point was for you two to get to know each other.” Your father suggests.

You're ready to claim you’re too tired to go walking around the garden so late at night but Jaeyun stands before you get the chance. “That sounds lovely. Care to join me, ____?”

He holds a hand out for you to take. You stare at it wearily but take his hand regardless and allow him to help you up. You both excuse yourselves and head for the back door that leads to the garden in your backyard.

The air is pungent with the fragrance of jasmine. The two of you walk along the path lined with fallen petals from the bonsai trees that line the perfect lawn in their wooden boxes. In the center of the garden sits a pond as large as a small lake with flowering lily pads and a wooden bridge that crosses the middle so you can look down at the koi. The flower beds are a riot of spring colors and under close inspection you would be able to see they’re weed-free.

“How old are you, Jaeyun?” You ask.

He crosses his arms behind him, “twenty-two. And you?”

“Twenty.”

A semi-awkward silence soon settles over the two of you as you take a stroll around the extravagant garden. “Let’s not beat around the bush, ____.” Jaeyun says as he comes to a stop. You stop walking as well and turn to face him, “I’m well aware this marriage isn’t something you want, it’s not something I wanted either but there’s no way out of it.”

You cross your arms and nod allowing him to continue. “While I may not be the man you intended to marry, I want you to know I have no ill intentions. I won’t force myself on you and I won’t stop you from pursuing other men. This is a marriage of convenience and I don’t want you to feel obliged to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“Are you mad?” You ask, he cocks his head to the side in confusion, not quite understanding your question. “Are you mad about this arrangement? You seem too calm about this, doesn’t it make you feel enraged to know your parents signed away your freedom?”

He shrugs, “it’s the price we have to pay for being their children.”

You scoff, “it’s a pretty crappy exchange.”

Jaeyun chuckles at your response, “I take it you feel wronged?”

You scowl, what type of question is that? Of course you feel wronged. “Of course I do. This isn’t the life I pictured for myself.”

“What was the life you pictured for yourself then?”

You take a deep breath and turn to continue walking. Jaeyun follows closely behind you as you both climb the bridge. “I wanted to leave Korea with my best friends and move to France, I’ve always had the dream of becoming an art director. I would probably fall in love and have a romance you only find in movies, have a lowkey beach wedding and try for kids later on down the line.”

You don’t know why you’re spilling your wants and dreams to Jaeyun, it’s not like he can give you the life you desire. Telling him this won’t change a thing but you suppose it’s nice to express your wants to another person who could possibly relate.

“I can’t give you the whirlwind romance you want but I can open a creative department and make you head of all creative art projects. I know it’s a longshot from the life you want but it’s a start.” He offers while gazing into your eyes.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You curiously wonder out loud. Jaeyun softly chuckles at your question and comes to a halt in the middle of the bridge.

“Would you rather me be rude?”

You shake your head, “it’s not that. It’s just,” you pause to try and find the right words, “you've made it clear you don’t want to marry me either so why are you going out of your way to make sure I’m comfortable? Shouldn’t you hate me for ruining your life?”

“But you didn’t ruin my life? This marriage wasn’t your idea and I won’t take my anger out on you. You’re just as much of a victim as I am.”

You stay silent and just study Jaeyun. Your biggest fear entering this dinner was that he would be a complete jerk but he’s the absolute opposite. Conversation seems to flow easily between the two of you and he’s made it clear there’s no animosity between the two of you. You wish you could be as open to this as he is but a part of you will always despise him for taking away your freedom. He may have not done it directly and it may not be fair to him but you can’t help the way you feel.

“I understand.”

He nods and takes a few steps ahead of you and turns back to face you. “I had always hoped that when I proposed it was to a woman I knew and loved but as we both know, that isn’t the case. While this isn’t ideal, I still want to do it properly.” You watch as he gets down on one knee and pulls a ring box out of his back pocket. “Will you marry me, Jung ____?”

You try to smile at the sweet gesture but you’re sure it comes out more like a grimace. You slowly nod your head and give him your left hand. “Yes.” He smiles up at you and gingerly slips a 14k white gold engagement ring with a cushion cut diamond that illuminates the center of the sophisticated design with sparkling round diamonds in a halo motif on your ring finger. It fits snuggly, shimmering in the moonlight and mocking you as you rotate your hand.

Jaeyun gets up and dusts off his knees. “Let’s go back inside?”

Two weeks have passed since your formal engagement to Jaeyun and the press has been going crazy. The night after the dinner, your parents had the two of you go on a date for publicity and leaked the news of your engagement to the press. Pictures soon spread like wildfire and your name has been in the news ever since.

You didn’t expect anything less, while your family is notoriously known for ruling over the underworld, it’s not all you do. To avoid the law and jail time, your father owns his own conglomerate to stand as a front for the illegal acts that go on behind closed doors. Your father has done a fantastic job of separating the empire from the conglomerate. He’s thorough with his work and makes sure nothing can be traced back to the empire. To the public, Nexa-Corp has made great accomplishments within Korea and has been a global leader bringing innovation for a happier future. No one would expect that your family owns and runs its own mafia.

Because you’re the only daughter of such a prominent figure in Korean society, as well as Jaeyun who’s the youngest son of the CEO of Veridian Global, you’re sure the news of your engagement will continue to circulate for months and you have no doubt that the wedding itself will be broadcasted for all of Korea to see.

Tonight is your engagement party. You didn’t want one but it wasn’t up to you. Both your parents and Jaeyun’s claim it’s important your relationship seem as real as can be and that you show the public you’re a united front.

“____? Are you dressed?”

You pull your gaze away from the mirror to the door just as your mother walks in. She gasps and closes the door behind her. “Oh sweetheart, you look stunning!”

Your hair is slicked back and your makeup was done by a makeup artist. She went for a bold look to match your dress, your lips are painted a bright red and you have a smokey eyeshadow look. You’re dressed in a burgundy lace sweetheart ball gown that has a v-shaped bust. The dress glimmers and fits your waist tightly. The bodice is hand-beaded and also forms a sequined layer beneath the airy tulle ball gown skirt. You feel like an absolute princess, while it wasn’t the dress you had in mind you still feel beautiful.

“I’ve gotten so used to seeing you wearing green but red is a nice fit for you.” Your mother says.

You smooth out the lace of your dress and shrug, “green will always be my color.” To a normal person, it may seem as if you’re simply discussing colors with your mother but there’s a double meaning. Emerald green is the Jung Empire’s color and Burgundy is the Lee Empire’s color. While you may be marrying a Lee and will now have to rep the color red, you will forever be a Jung at heart.

Your mother gingerly smiles at you and reaches a hand out to grasp yours. “I know this isn’t what you wanted but I hope you can find the happiness you’ve always wanted with Jaeyun. He seems like a lovely boy.”

You inhale deeply and shake your head. You give your mother a small smile and pull your hands out of her grasp. “Happiness is an illusion.” You don’t give her time to refute your claim and step aside. “I believe we have guests to attend to?”

┕━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━━┙

The Ballroom is 7,600 square feet with a dramatic ceiling. It’s beautifully appointed with crystal chandeliers and decked out in silver and burgundy decor. The hall is filled with cocktail tables and waiters who are stationed around the room waiting to be called upon. You’ve made your rounds and you’re now settled in the back of the hall nursing a glass of champagne while Jaeyun is currently having a conversation with his buddies who you briefly met.

“Jung ____?”

You try to reel in your annoyance at being called upon yet again. You down your champagne in one go and place it on the tray of a waiter who skims past you before whirling around to come face to face with a man dressed in an all black suit. You try and wrack your mind to see if you can recognize him, but you come up empty handed.

“I’m sorry, have we met before?” You ask.

He shakes his head and reaches into the inside of his suit pocket to pull out a wallet, he opens it up and allows you to see the contents. He’s from the FBI. You feel your heart rate pick up but you manage to keep a poker face.

You stare into the detective's eyes, determined not to look away first. You contort your lips into a toothy saccharine smile relaxing your face. You had mastered your fake smile, right down to the wrinkles around your eyes at the young age of six. It’s key to have complete control over your facial features in your line of work. One wrong look and you could end up dead or in prison. “May I help you?”

He folds up his wallet and places it back into his pocket. “Congratulations on your engagement, Ms. Jung. While I hate to put a damper on the mood, I have a few questions regarding the ongoing case we have against your fiancé.”

You clutch your dress as the sentence leaves the male's mouth. The FBI has an ongoing case against the Lee’s? You wonder why it wasn’t mentioned to your family during the arrangement of your engagement.

You want to know the details of the charges but you know you can’t entertain this conversation. If any of your father's associates or allies of the Lee’s see you it could be disastrous. “Korean Civil Code, Article 826, The duties of Husband and Wife⏤ the confidential marital communications privilege allows a spouse to refuse to testify about, or produce documents evidencing, any confidential communication made during a marriage and allows the other spouse to prevent that testimony or document production. I have nothing to say to you, detective.”

He scoffs and picks up a champagne glass from the tray of a waiter who walks past you. “In case you’ve forgotten, you haven’t married him yet Ms. Jung. Don’t make me subpoena you.”

You cross your arms against your chest and nod, “am I a suspect, detective?” He shakes his head, “a person of interest then?”

“Not at the moment but if you continue on I will charge you with obstruction of justice.”

You scoff, “you can’t charge me for a crime I didn’t commit.”

“Don’t make this difficult. When we convict your fiancé we can have you arrested as well for aiding and abetting. You wouldn’t want to go to prison for your fiancé’s mistakes would you?”

You cluck your tongue, “article 200, South Korean Constitution⏤ I have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. I am now invoking that right.”

“You seem to be well versed with the law, I guess it’s good to know your rights if you’re running a syndicate.”

You roll your eyes, “if you have any further questions or concerns feel free to contact my lawyer.”

He chuckles, “why lawyer up if you have nothing to hide?”

You pluck the champagne glass from his hand and point it in the direction of the exit. “Please see yourself out before I have security escort you out.”

He smirks at you. “The next time we meet I’ll have a warrant for your arrest.”

You smile and raise the glass up to your lips before knocking it back and chugging down the champagne. “It was nice meeting you, detective.” You place the glass down on a cocktail table before you turn to walk away and find Jaeyun.

You spot him easily, he’s still conversing with Park Jonseong, his long time best friend. You slide up to Jaeyun and lean into his ear. “Behind me, near the back of the hall is a man in an all black suit. He’s with the FBI.”

You pull back but Jaeyun places a hand on your waist and pulls you closer into his side. People near you coo at the affection but the two of you pay no attention to them. Jaeyun picks up a flute glass and raises it in the direction of the detective, a smug look on his face. The male scowls and shakes his head before making a b-line for the exit.

Your heart has been pounding all morning.

The four months came way too soon for your liking. Following the engagement party, you chose to submerge yourself in your school work and spend as much time as possible with Anton and Haru. You absolutely refused to have a say in the wedding itself, it wasn’t something you wanted and would always send you into a panicked state just thinking about it.

A week after announcing your engagement, you went wedding dress shopping with both your mother and Jaeyun’s. Your dress was the one thing you absolutely refused to compromise on. A month before your graduation a date plus venue was picked and invitations were sent out.

An hour has passed since lunch and you feel as if you’re going to vomit all the contents of your stomach. Preparations for the wedding have already started and you’re currently getting your hair and makeup done while Haru runs around making sure your other bridesmaids are dressed and ready to go.

Your bridal court is made up of the daughters of other powerful mafia heads to show that you’re a united front. You’ve never spoken a word to the six females and yet they’re the ones who’ll be standing by you on one of the biggest days of your life. Haru was made your maid of honor due to the relationship you two have and her father being Kim Dongwook, a good associate of your father.

“I’m done with your makeup dear, let’s get you in that dress.”

You nod and stand on shaky legs. You usually pride yourself on always being confident but you seem to be lacking it today. Haru ushers the other girls into the hallway so you can get dressed in peace. You slip off your robe and slide into your hand sewn custom made fit and flare gown. You shimmy into the form fitting dress taking care to not force it on and rip it.

The skirt of your dress has geometrical lace to match the bodice. When designing your dress, you wanted something simple yet dramatic and sophisticated⏤you wanted it to represent you. The train just might be your favorite part of the dress, it’s a cathedral length train that flows behind you. Your makeup artist holds back your hair while you slip your hands into the quarter length sleeves and Haru buttons you into the dress.

Once Haru fixes the last button, your makeup artist lets your hair down and steps away. You move to stand in front of the floor length mirror and examine yourself. You’re absolutely stunning. You wish you were marrying a man you actually loved so you could feel the joy every bride describes when talking about their wedding day.

Haru brings over your veil and attempts to secure it in your hair with various pins. Once it’s situated she steps aside and lets you see the final product. You twiddle your fingers as you daze off thinking back to simpler times. A knock pulls you out of your trance however. “Come in.” You say

The door opens and in waltzes your mother and your soon to be mother-in-law. They coo at your dress and make a fuss about how Jaeyun’s going to love it but you don’t have it in you to pretend to be happy. You’re too tired and having to act as if you’re okay with what’s about to happen is too draining.

Before you know it, you’re being transported to the La Luce Myeong-dong Wedding Hall in an all white Rolls Royce with your father and Haru. Everything goes by in a blurr, your mind doesn’t even register pulling up. Just as you had predicted, your wedding is being broadcasted for all of Korea to see. There are multiple cameramen stationed outside the hall live streaming your entrance and some are taking pictures. Along with paparazzi, there's a crowd of spectators surrounding the building being held off by the police.

Your father steps out first before turning to offer you his hand. You take it and allow him to help you out of the car. Haru quickly comes to your aid to fix your train before swiftly entering the building to start the procession. Your bridesmaids follow behind Haru and gracefully walk up the steps and into the main hall where your guest and groom await.

Your father fixes your veil and allows you to hook your arm with his. You tightly grip onto your bouquet and count down the seconds. The spectators who’ve gathered for your wedding begin cheering as the doors to the hall open and the sound of canon in d arranged by the Stuttgart Orchestra wafts down into the streets of Seoul.

Your guest turn their attention to the door as you walk in and down the aisle on your father's arm. You force a smile on your face and try to play your role of the blushing bride. The aisle is lined with a white carpet and babies breath flowers fill the empty spaces on the ground with candles. Jaeyun is stood at the front of the altar with his groomsmen right behind him.

You look into his eyes and for the first time since you’ve met him you can see the fear that’s clearly in his eyes. Just like you, Jaeyun has been good at concealing his true emotions but you guess he doesn’t have it in him to pretend today either.

Walking down the aisle with your father is just as terrifying as you thought it would be. All eyes are on you, not only are you being scrutinized by the two hundred guests in the hall but you’re also being watched by the thousands tuning in live.

The remaining steps to get to the altar seem to take an eternity. When your father finally hands you over to Jaeyun and takes his seat at the table reserved for your family, Haru steps up to take your bouquet so you can give Jaeyun your hands. A cold terror washes over your body as you stare into your groom's eyes.

Before, you thought Jaeyun was put together, the more mature one out of the two of you but you now realize he’s just one hell of an actor. He’s not put together nor is he mature. He’s a small boy playing dress up. Your hands tremble under his own and despite your fear, you don’t look away, you continue to stare into his panic filled eyes and try to find comfort in the fact that you’re not in this alone. He shares your fear.

You hear words being spoken to you, the voice echoes through your eardrums but you refuse to focus your attention on anyone else. You don’t register anything in your mind beside Jaeyun’s “I do” and the feeling of him slipping your wedding band onto your ring finger. You exhale at the weight that now sits on your hand. This ring will forever bind you to Sim Jaeyun.

You hear the priest say a few words before turning to you to ask, “do you Jung ____ take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

Sucking in a shaky breath you whisper the two words that seal your fate. “I do.” Your hand trembles as you reach out for Jaeyun’s ring from your ring bearer. Your throat constricts making it hard to breathe. You slide the silver band onto his fourth finger, it’s a simple band yet still eye catching.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride.”

A round of applause fills the hall but it falls upon deaf ears as Jaeyun lifts your veil and slowly leans in, bringing one hand up to gently caress the apple of your cheek. You feel your chest rise in panic as he comes closer to your face. His eyes sliding shut is the last thing you see before your own flutter close.

Jaeyun’s lips are soft and warm. The kiss is gentle, no malice behind it but it’s lacking in emotion and passion. All the panic that has built up within you then bursts and tears begin to roll down your cheeks. As much as you tried to hold it in, the pain came out. The beads of water start falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. To anyone watching, it may seem like you’re crying tears of joy but in reality you’re nowhere near being happy or content with the direction your life is going.

Your life has just ended.

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