#throam!vicky

[playitandmakeitsincere]

Ryan: Vicky, wait, is there no way we can get rid of Shane? Vicky: Not without cause, Ryan! Ryan: I have cause! Ryan: It is beCAUSE I hate him.

[evrywhre-evrythng]

since no one else was gonna do it I will

[jackiemeandthispod]

Rights or No Rights #17

[the-melting-point-of-silver]

if there’s one thing about me it’s that i will defend the women of throam until i die

[x-on-the-calendar-business]

ryan ross iceberg (tier 2)

tier 1, tier 3, tier 4, tier 5, tier 6, tier 7, tier 8

the tip of the iceberg:

the young veins:

this is the band that ryan and jon started after they split from panic! it included a few other members, and often times ryan’s good friends z berg and alex greenwald (of phantom planet), who will be mentioned more later on. they only released one album in 2010, called take a vacation! they played some live shows, but at the end of that same year, they went on an indefinite hiatus. HOWEVER, they made an official instagram account and have been active this year!! it’s likely that it's because there will be vinyl repress (further supported by a comment jon left on their only post) but it’s super cool nonetheless [i].

this is a personal aside, but i honestly like this band more than anything panic! released post split, with the exception of new perspective and the calendar. like god this was such a good fucking band.

dottie, elwood, and hobo:

these were all ryan’s dogs.

hobo was the dog he got in 2006. however, when he and keltie (we will discuss her soon) broke up, she took her with her [ii].

dottie was a dog he got circa 2015.

elwood is the dog he got in 2017.

i’m not sure if ryan still has dottie and elwood since he has pretty much disappeared from the internet.

eta: i misspelled elwood's name as elmwood in the iceberg image. sorry about that!

z berg:

this is one of ryan’s exes and his bestie. they dated around 2009/2010. they still hang out today and he’s made appearances at these events she does called proms. she gives us the majority of ryan content that we’ve gotten in the past few years.

he featured on one of her songs, “the bad list,” and she featured of the young veins cover of “nothing matters but you.” she will come up more in other entries as well, which is why i'm not going super in depth here.

throam:

whew.

this is a ryden fic – probably the most iconic after the milk fic – called the heart rate of a mouse, written by anna green. it was originally posted on livejournal, and it’s LONG, coming in at 3 volumes and over 500k words.

the plot summary is that in the 1970s, ryan is the lead singer/guitarist of a famous band called the followers, and brendon is a roadie on their tour. brendon is openly gay, and ryan and brendon start hooking up, even though ryan is “straight.” from there, the series becomes 3 volumes of angst and pining. of course, there’s so much more that happens, but i won’t say too much for the sake of spoilers.

despite it being a ryden fic, it’s incredibly well written (if you’re able to get past the explicit smut), so i do recommend reading it at least once in your life. i’m gonna keep it 100, i’ve read this series at least 10 times with a yearly reread and have physical copies of it.

anna also wrote some ficlets to go along with it, such as one from brendon’s pov and just some extra stuff that didn’t end up in the final cut. she also wrote a lot of other iconic fics (all of which i also recommend), like the black rose season, how a resurrection really feels, posing in a ballroom, miguel sanchez’s grand slam of love, amongst many, many others. sadly, she purged her entire livejournal account, so you would have to turn to internet archives to read anything other than throam [iii].

unfortunately, this fic also reached the icon status that the milk fic did so multiple people from the bandom sphere know about it and have acknowledged it. for example, keltie, ryan’s ex-girlfriend, has read it and mentioned it on twitter multiple times (embarrassing for her but whatever) [iv]. jon tweeted about it once [v]. also, i swear that vicky t from cobra starship mentioned it (i wanna say it was on instagram, but i could be wrong); however, i can’t find the comment she made anymore.

link to throam for those who are curious

jac and keltie:

these are two of ryan’s exes from the panic! days.

jac vanek was a scene queen in the early 2000s, and they dated from november 2005 until feburary 2006 [vi]. it was a pretty cringey teenage relationship that was overly (grossly) chronicled on livejournal, and if you’re interested to read more, there will be a link in a later tier.

an interesting tidbit is that while ryan was dating jac, brendon was dating another scene queen named audrey kitching, which will also come up later in this iceberg.

keltie knight (née colleen) and ryan started their relationship in august 2006 after meeting at the vmas, where panic! was performing and keltie was a backup dancer (she was a rockette). he was 19 and she was 24, which may not seem like a big deal, but it definitely played into some power dynamics in their relationship. for example, in keltie’s book, she says she often had pay ryan's bills for him. also in her book, she stated that he didn't take their relationship seriously, leading him to propose to her and asking her to move in (maybe he wasn't taking it as seriously as you because he was barely in his 20s keltie just a thought). they broke up in 2009 right before the split. we’ll touch on that again later. there is honestly so much more that i could say about this relationship/keltie, but some of it will be covered in this iceberg and the rest will be linked along with the jac info.

sun and moon:

another ryden entry. this refers to a theory about ryan and brendon about which one is considered the moon, and the other is the sun; it’s based on their personalities, like who embodies which more. polar opposites and all that. when ryden was still relevant, who is the moon vs who is the sun was a hotly debated topic (ryan is the moon, while brendon is the sun is the only correct answer).

this also loosely tied into some lyrics from panic and their solo music. for example, when the day met the night is often referenced in relation to this theory, although this song is definitely about keltie [vii]. also, in 2014 ryan wrote lonely moonlight, which also could refer back to this theory and kind of calls back to the lyrics in when the day met the night [viii]. however, this song is most likely about keltie too, if not another past relationship (not brendon).

dead end kids club:

this is a band/touring project that ryan was part of, including z berg, dan keyes, and the band palm springsteen. it was first announced in july, 2019. later that same year, they went on tour, hitting 8 cities for fall balls. this was referred to as the “1st annual” but….[ix]

in 2020, they released a song called lonesome town that featured a lot of videos from fans [x]. also that year, palm springsteen was accused of assault, which dekc posted a couple of statements about on twitter, here and here, stating that they had been removed from the project “a long time ago” [xi]. they pretty much disbanded after that and haven’t been active since october 2020.

livejournal:

iconic. livejournal (aka lj) was basically tumblr before tumblr existed. similarly, it could be used as a personal blog, a place to post rpf fic, an emo poetry hub, a photo album, etc. it’s on this iceberg because ryan was very prolific on livejournal, under the username i_amclandestine, and it’s essentially where panic! got its start. ryan made contact with pete wentz through lj, sending him the early demos, which lead to pete signing them and then cue domino effect to a taylor swift song.

anyway, ryan made many iconic posts on there, some of which will be addressed directly in this iceberg, but i will leave a link to an archive of his lj account for further viewing. he made his last post in june of 2006, but he deleted the account in july of that year after receiving a spam of hate. at the same time, brendon changed his (part_time_lovah) to friends only [xii].

along with the links to ryan’s old lj, i’m also going to link a youtube video by one of my favorite channels, the cozy representative, in which julian goes through ryan’s posts.

this is the web archive for ryan’s lj (does not include his last post):

this is a tumblr masterpost of all of his entries, including the last one missing from the above link:

and finally, julian’s video:

ryan and spencer childhood besties:

ryan and spencer became friends when they were around 5 or so years old, which was always the saddest part of the 2009 split to me. ryan and spencer were in the og band before panic!, which will be discussed later.

in 2016, spencer’s wife tweeted that ryan and spencer were still friends. however, ryan did not attend spencer’s wedding, which could have been for a number of reasons, one of which we will also discuss more heavily later on [xiii]. of course, there is no way for us to know whether ryan wasn’t invited or if he just decided not to go.

mcr makes me dance:

in 2004, ryan went to the chemicalromance livejournal community and posted, “hey im ryan im new i live in las vegas my chemical romance makes me dance” and history was made [xiv]. this became a "meme" amongst panic! fans, and they started bringing signs with that phrase written on them for ryan told in pics. this has continued even in recent times.

newsboy cap:

this is another iconic piece of ryan ross fashion. he wore it a lot in 2004-2006 cause he’s a little fruity. like seriously, this hat had him in the biggest chokehold.

now, we move onto some of the deeper stuff and into the waters.

tier 3

references:

[i] https://www.instagram.com/theyoungveinsmusic/

[ii] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/171475122211/did-keltie-knight-ever-steal-ryans-dog-or

[iii] https://web.archive.org/web/20170606154418/http:/beggarsnotes.livejournal.com/

[iv] https://youngveins.tumblr.com/post/141384273691/keltie-has-read-throam-this-is-not-the-twitter

[v] https://twitter.com/iamjonwalker/status/958805938227433472

[vi] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/170958104996/the-tragic-love-life-of-ryan-ross-part-2

[vii] https://genius.com/Panic-at-the-disco-when-the-day-met-the-night-lyrics

[viii] https://genius.com/Ryan-ross-lonely-moonlight-lyrics

[ix]https://www.instagram.com/thedeadendkidsclub/?hl=en

[x] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzcWGQQiFDU

[xi] https://twitter.com/DeadEndKidsClub/status/1275849828459823105, https://twitter.com/DeadEndKidsClub/status/1283511345330049026

[xii] https://prettyoddfever.tumblr.com/post/629056560433446912/why-ryan-ross-deleted-his-livejournal-and-brendon

[xiii] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/171901498176/so-i-saw-your-ryanspencer-post-and-i-was-just

[xiv] https://chemicalromance.livejournal.com/96360.html?page=1

[throamguide]

hi!! do u know why anna decided not to rewrite and publish throam as an original work?

Hi! First off, some background: even in 2017-2018, when Anna was posting about the rewrite and talking about publishing it, she was open about the fact that it might never happen: "A rewritten version might never get published, anyway, so don't freak out." (X)

It also wouldn't be easy to rid it of its fanfiction past, as with something like 50 Shades of Gray (Twilight AU fic) because of THROAM's relative internet fame.

Anna also disliked when bandom people IRL (people she wrote about) would find out about THROAM because of fans bringing it up to them. Which is completely understandable. Because it happened quite a bit. She sums it up well in a heated post from 2019: Choice. And it had to be said because a lot of people ended up referencing, asking about, or even reading THROAM, presumably because of fans: Dallon, Jon, Vicky, Keltie, Z Berg...

Anna also moved away from bandom in general and started writing about K-pop groups (she's still at it!) and hinted at some original fiction. Finleighsaid, her URL towards the end of her Tumblr days, was some sort of reference to an original character of her's (I think?).

While writing this I had a look at the THROAM Fanlore page (which I helped write because my teenage self had no life) and found Anna's explanation as to why she stopped rewriting it:

March 25, 2019

Monday confessionals - I haven’t even had wine or anything. Some juice, though. Is sugar a drug?

Anyway, it is yet again that I have not posted anything here for a good while, and in the interest of Managing Expectations (whose? idk) I thought I’d give an update. Or, nay, a nopedate. (I’m sorry, I’m trying.) When last summer I decided that perhaps I ought to work the trilogy towards publication, I was working part-time and was kind of weighing my options as to what to do in life. (I still am. Is anyone out there a career counsellor? Please send me some help, thanks.) Anyway, I had time to work on the rewrite in cafés after or before work, and I was quite into it! Then I swapped for a full-time job and all of my rewrite efforts, essentially, ceased. I realise now why I wrote the story when I was a student: I had sooooo much time. From 2009 to 2019, I suddenly don’t have that luxury anymore.

So what I am saying is that, from my end, and for now, the project is definitely on hiatus. You know, like one of your favourite emo bands. I don’t want to mislead people into thinking I am actively working on the project when I haven’t touched it in weeks or even months. I don’t know if my situation will change in the future, or if this is the universe telling me to let it go. I know some people definitely want me to just let the story be! And I know some really want to see it published, too. And you know what, if I ever did publish it, people would always just shrug it off as bandom fic, and it’s hard for me to deal with the reality of people constantly looking down at something I love very dearly. So I have my hesitations and reservations, and I have Dean stood at Venice Beach in 1969, staring at the waves and a decade of stardom.

I have always been my most successful in producing and finishing stories when I have selfishly written whatever makes me happy. I suppose the rewrite is not that for me right now.

Thank you for your patience. Soul searching is hard. xx

[sword-swallower-pin]

In news that is not important to anyone but me, I've just found out that Peter Asher is Vicky T from fucking Cobra Starship's dad. My 2015 self is having a meltdown, she was in throam what the fuck

[c0rrect-bands]

Modern Throam

Gabe, looking at Snapchat: Ryan and Brendon stopped sharing their locations.

⠀⠀

Vicky: They’re fucking each other again, aren’t they?

⠀⠀

Gabe, sighing: Probably.

[sharpbutterfly]

send in your submissions and spread the word!! (submissions can be sent to this account too)

[emotionallyits2009]

i'm on the fanlore article bc i didn't know what throam is and im naturally gossipy, but my heart SANK reading this: "Vicky T and Keltie (Ryan's ex-girlfriend, a significant character in V2) are said to have read the fic. In December 2015, a fan tweeted to Dallon Weekes, "have you ever read The Heart Rate of a Mouse". Dallon replied: "No. I hear throam Dallon is a real A-hole though."[13] (THROAM readers have noted that Dallon is actually portrayed sympathetically in the fic)"

HORRIBLE. also i googled “throam” to find the fanlore page and the third result was the redbubble search results for throam people are selling stickers of quotes and posters of the fake bands this is giving me a headache

[roscoe-me-and-this-fuckin-kid]

You: GABE IN THROAM DESERVED BETTER!!!

Me, an intellectual: What Ryan did to Gabe in THROAM was unfair and bordering on cruel, but Ryan and Gabe reconcile in the end. They become friends, and Gabe loses any romantic feelings he had before. Gabe, ultimately, gets a happy end. He marries Vicky, and they stay together for the rest of their days. One William Beckett, on the other hand, enters a loveless, toxic, and unhappy relationship after the end of Volume I with his unfaithful partner Carl. He bemoans how miserable he is to Brendon in Volume II, and is forced to watch as his friend falls victim once again to the boy who broke his heart the first time. After THROAM's end, Bill hops from toxic relationship to toxic relationship, eventually contracts AIDS in the 1980's, and then later dies a slow and painful death. William doesn't get a happy ending. His end is pained infidelity and hospital beds. Bill Beckett deserved better.

[playitandmakeitsincere]

Somewhere on the Pearls tour:

Gabe, groaning, waking up: ...Vicky? Vicky, screaming, falling off the bed: Gabe! Vicky: What are you doing in my room?! Gabe, scoffs: What are you talking about, this is my room! Vicky: Well, what the fuck are you doing in your room? Gabe: Well I was trying to sleep until you starting pounding on the door. Vicky, visibly horrified: Gabe: I finally let you in and you flaked out on the bed. Vicky: Oh my god. Vicky: Are you naked under there? Gabe, laughing: Honey, what I do in the privacy of my sheets is my own business. Vicky, praying: Oh, no. No. God, no!

[ohgreatonw]

Scenes in THROAM that made me cry

Note: These are things that made me cry when I was reading throam the first time, and I didn’t know what was going to happen next

Also, this is my personal list of things that made ME cry, not the saddest moments. Feel free to comment your own

When Ryan explains the meaning behind the tour name

When Spencer tells Ryan that they are no longer friends

When Brendon says “and to think I was falling in love with you (or something like that) at the end of volume 1

When Ryan apologizes to Brendon after he yelled at him in the restaurant

When Brendon goes to bed with Shane when they are in the cabins

Ok, I can explain myself here. It was 3:56 am and I was reading the part where Ryan told Brendon he loved him for the first time, and I thought Brendon had the same feeling, (remember that this was my first time reading it) I was so giddy and happy and sleep deprived that I ran around my room with a big smile on my face, ate chocolate, and had a happy heart. That scene is so fluffy and cute, and still to this day is my favorite scene in throam. And to learn it meant nothing later BrOkE mY hEaRt

Brendon’s “what did you do Ryan?” After Ryan’s fucks Shane and they’re both in tears

And then, literally 2 paragraphs later, I have another breakdown when Ryan hands the necklace to Vicky

Really any of the breakdown scenes Ryan has in Maine

“I could be happy in a thousand different versions of my life. But this is the one I have. This is the one I cannot change”

When Ryan encourages Dallon to ask out Brendon

The ending (but a happy cry)

[tears-for-throam]

Zodiac signs as THROAM characters 💫

Aries - Brendon

Taurus - Dallon

Gemini - Patrick

Cancer - Vicky

Leo - Joe

Virgo - William

Libra - Keltie

Scorpio - Sisky

Sagittarius - Gabe

Capricorn - Jon

Aquarius - Ryan

Pisces - Spencer

[incorrectthroam]

If THROAM characters were in high school in 2019

Ryan: the popular guy who secretly hates all of his friends

Brendon: the gay choir kid

Joe: the popular fuckboy who always posts videos of him vaping on Snapchat

Vicky: the teacher’s pet

Cassie: the girl that’s always super nice to everyone for no reason

Jon: the guy that everyone knows

Shane: the quiet kid nobody knows the name of

Pete: the tired smart guy

Brent: the popular guy that lies about hooking up with a bunch of girls but is probably still a virgin

Dallon: the nice quiet kid on the school newspaper

Sisky: the annoying kid who probably runs a meme page

William: the guy that complains about failing a test when he actually got 79%

Nate: the guy who’s always in detention for being a nuisance

Gabe: the nice kid that falls into the wrong crowd

Zack: the troll in the halls that never lets you pass when you’re late to class

Patrick: the guy you do a group project with once and then never talk to ever again

Keltie: the girl who always posts about how much she loves her boyfriend on social media

Jac: the girl that’s obsessed with slime videos

[correctthroam]

Hey fuck marry kill your top 3 favourite THROAM characters

fuck brendon kill sisky marry vicky.