#three guys. chilling. dying a lot. joking weird old jokes i know too good

[jestroer]

Mother Beef joke is back and thriving, what a win for the Team Canada community

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 304: The Council of OFA

Previously on BnHA: Hawks and Best Jeanist were all, “what up Todofam, we are here to apply for the positions of ‘son #4’ and ‘weird uncle’, respectively,” and then proceeded to insert themselves into the family drama without waiting for an answer. Hawks briefed Endeavor on the nation’s current status of “totally fucked”, promised to help him sort that out, and then asked him about OFA. Endeavor was all, “oh do you mean One For All, the mysterious thing that my intern Deku was apparently being targeted for?” and then we cut away, presumably before Endeavor could clarify that it never occurred to him to follow up on that, and Hawks was all “no of course not, why would it occur to anyone other than me to follow up on any of this super weird and ominously important shit.” Anyway so meanwhile Bakugou was all “LET ME SCREAM AT DEKU UNTIL HE WAKES UP” and the other kids were all “NO”, and then the chapter ended with All Might being all “I wonder what the vestige!me is currently chatting with Deku about.”

Today on BnHA: Deku drops in on the Vestiges, who are all “sup Deku, how do you like our fancy chairs.” OFA II and III are all “if you need us we’ll just be standing here silently in the corner pretending to be invisible and sparking endless discourse with our mere existence.” OFA IV is all “and now I will explain to you in a very convoluted way that you being quirkless was actually a good thing, since it means that you are probably not going to suddenly drop dead at the age of twenty. But also you’re probably going to be the last user of OFA for that very same reason.” Deku is all “that is wild. I’m just gonna stand here and stare at my hand.” Nana is all “so now that that’s settled could you please do me a small favor and kill my grandson for me”, because having just one topic to discourse about this week WASN’T ENOUGH, apparently. Thanks so much Horikoshi.

(ETA: okay so just a note before I start, this week’s RHA translation was a huge mess, so I followed up this chapter by reading a couple of other translations. the main one I’m using for reference is the one by @hanashimas​, whose weekly posts I highly recommend. anyway so you’ll see a couple of ETAs in this post in places where the initial translation was off.)

how many layers of bandages did they wrap this poor kid’s fucking hand in omg

jesus Deku. are you holding onto a bouquet of flowers under that thing?? or a tennis racket??

omg yes, finally

is he reading these names off a teleprompter lol. and if so, what has Jeanist ever done to slight you, Deku? “god bless Kacchan and Aizawa-sensei and Todoroki-kun and everyone else in the whole wide world... except for Best Jeanist. fuck that guy.” actually this joke would be funnier if half of tumblr didn’t legit feel that way lol but anyway

OH MY GOD

I NEED TO HAVE A TALK TOO. ABOUT, OH, EVERYTHING

I got immediate KHR vibes from ALL OF THIS. this is seriously such a Vongola aesthetic. “let’s use the luxuriously cushioned chairs with the seat backs that are ten feet high, and arrange all of the handsome ghost people in a big circle” like come on

that said there are also some slight LoTR vibes as well. “bring forth the ring, Deku”

I like how Six is sitting there with his feet drawn up all casual, but with his arms inexplicably sticking STRAIGHT OUT IN FRONT OF HIM and dangling over his knees like he’s doing some sort of zombie walk

apparently the Fourth wasn’t a big fan of shoes huh

interesting that All Might is the only one who’s still faint/indistinct, and and that Two and Three are fully visible

(ETA: the rest of my speculation about Two and Three has been moved into a separate post, the better to focus on the shit that’s actually happening in this chapter lol.)

and lastly, interesting that all of them are talking now, except for All Might (and I guess the Second and Third as well). to the best of my knowledge Deku hasn’t unlocked the Sixth’s quirk yet, so I guess the quirks don’t really have anything to do with it

oh and it looks like Deku’s mouth is still covered. I guess that’s convenient for the vestiges since we all know it’s hard to stop Deku once he gets going. but on the other hand it’s very inconvenient for people like me who wanted to see some interaction. alas

so First says that OFA’s power has grown a lot in the last four months (i.e. since Deku unlocked Blackwhip), and now the vestiges can communicate with each other as well as Deku

so even when Deku’s not around they can all just chill with each other. this is such a weird thing to me lol. like it’s cool, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also strange as hell to know that you’ve got eight other people hanging out in your head spying on everything you do and having conversations with each other about it. it would be like if Dark Shadow had someone to hang out with other than Tokoyami. good thing you weren’t triplets, Tokoyami

First says that it’s become easier for the vestiges to interact with Deku ever since TomurAFO barged into the OFA Domain back at Jakku. huh

(ETA: apparently this is because AFO forcibly pulled out OFA’s power when he was trying to steal the quirk, so I guess that makes sense.)

okay thank you Banjou for addressing this concern which I initially brought up as a joke, but which was apparently real enough for you to reassure Deku about

“don’t worry, even though we’re awake and hanging out inside of you at all times, we’re definitely not secretly watching and making fun of every single thing you do” hmmmmm

(ETA: “not that you could do anything about it even if we were, since you’re probably going to be the last OFA holder ever!” I don’t trust anything this asshole says lmao.)

OH SHIT??

YESSS DEKU now you can hold them accountable for all of their bullshit! because I do not doubt that there will be bullshit lol but let’s see how that goes

oh damn

well okay then. you didn’t have to stand up and walk over to him and loom all threateningly like that but okay sir

this guy has kind of a Kimimaro vibe to him. remember? that bone-growing guy from Naruto? except I’m pretty sure he had eyebrows. and wasn’t twenty feet tall. speaking of which, that explains the chairs

why are you wearing only 3/5ths of a shirt

lol what

someone’s gonna have to explain this to me. is he just redundant or something lol, or is he strangely poetical or what

(ETA: apparently HE’S MAKING A PUN omg. I immediately gained +10 love for him lol. also it flows a lot better in Japanese. this is one of the things Caleb is usually good at, so we’ll see what he does with the wordplay.)

omg the hermit theory is true!!

“I’M NOT WEIRD, IT’S SOCIETY WHICH IS WEIRD.” lol whatever you say buddy. also love how Banjou tried to give him a big hearty slap on the back but Hermit Boy was not having it lmao

IS HE TRYING TO CAPTURE HIM WITH BLACKWHIP

AND ACTUALLY, NO, SIR, AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE ARE NOT AWARE. SO SPILL!!

?!!?

okay my first response was LOL ARE YOU SERIOUS, THAT’S THE BIG SECRET!? -- and then it hit me what the significance of “died from old age... AT AGE FORTY” meant. at which point it was like “!!!!!” and then “OH, SHIT”

(ETA: there’s also an Iida joke here somewhere but I’m just too tired to make it.)

oh my god oh my god

did he somehow get a copy of the coroner’s report or something? like how does he even know that he died from “old age” as opposed to any number of other natural causes? ??

but anyway. so this is the quirk singularity coming into play then I guess. but then how come All Might is still alive and ticking?

(ETA: so this is one example of where this week’s translation is a mess lol. apparently the Fourth explains here that he didn’t know what the fuck he died from until All Might researched it. and it turns out there actually was an autopsy lol so there you go.)

so Fourth says he held OFA for eighteen years, and since he knew he would never be strong enough to defeat AFO on his own he basically just spent all his time punching rocks in the woods and training to power the quirk up

oh shit

is he implying that his body literally fell apart?? like that’s how he got the scars on his face? -- IS THAT WHAT KEEPS HAPPENING TO TOMURA, THEN. oh shit

DUDE

so you’re telling me that this quirk actively shortens the lifespan of anyone who uses it?? and my little boy here has had it now for a year already?? fuck me, I have immediately have a TON of thoughts about all this but let me save it until he’s done with his explanation

THANK YOU, DEKU

right?? how come All Might didn’t die then. even after he got injured. please don’t tell me he actually is dying still and is just being slow about it because I SWEAR TO GOD

what does this mean??

so what you’re trying to say is you all have NO FUCKING IDEA how long Deku’s gonna be able to hold this quirk before he SUDDENLY DROPS DEAD?! five generations ago this dude was able to hold it for eighteen years, and then four generations later All Might was able to hold it for thirty-odd years or so, and now Deku has it and you all have no clue which way it’s gonna go? actually this makes it sound like it really wasn’t OFA that killed the Fourth at all and you guys are just really bad at forming hypotheses. but since you’re making a big plot point out of it I guess it must be true

and don’t think I didn’t notice the part where you said you didn’t have OFA very long and then “died while fighting”, Firsto. I want to hear more about that. specifically who you passed the quirk onto before your death

and yes, if we are agreeing that OFA was the cause of the Fourth’s death, then the conclusion on this next page is the natural one to draw

so that’s a bit of a relief then, because Deku is quirkless too. so it means he won’t be able to hold OFA forever (and will probably have to find another quirkless person to pass it on to), but at least he won’t be randomly dying out of the blue next Tuesday or something

oh my god now he’s talking about OFA and AFO and user consciousnesses and all sorts of good theory stuff but it’s so much exposition. you’re really gonna make me read all this lol

wait what. why would All Might being quirkless have anything to do with the presence of his vestige in OFA Outer Space Party Land

but Deku is also quirkless and he’s clearly visible and chatting with you guys. so what gives. like how much of this is verified fact and how much of it is you guys just shrugging and making stuff up lol

SERIOUSLY, GUYS

BUT DEKU IS ALSO -- you know what, never mind sob. none of this shit makes any sense but whatever

(ETA: seriously, this all seems like an awful lot of speculation on their part. for Deku’s sake I sure hope they’re right.)

FSSKDJFLSKLKJLKJL ALL MIGHT IS FIFTY-FIVE?!

lol that’s a full ten years past my closest estimate, wow. but this pretty much confirms his age now at last! or at least confirms it within a couple of years, because we know All Might and Nana met when he was in middle school, and he presumably had the quirk by the time he took the U.A. entrance exam. so yeah. gonna go with fifty-five

so they think that because All Might was quirkless, OFA was better able to adapt to his body and became his true quirk, as opposed to being an extra quirk that stacked on top of the one he already had and overwhelmed him. ties in back to the whole “AFO used to bend people to his will by forcing quirks on them” thing, as well as the “Noumus are all mindless because of the strain of having multiple quirks”

Two and Three are really ruining the serious vibe of this scene here lol

they look like they’re doing the counting for hide and seek

and is this Deku talking now? I was about to get mad at First for implying that quirkless people are somehow freaks, as opposed to “normal” people jdslk

so in other words, don’t go giving it to your best friend all casually for shits and giggles, Deku. even if it would make a really cool climax for a movie. well shit. maybe that’s why they were so quick to nope back into Deku’s body afterward

so First says that because quirkless people are becoming rarer and rarer, the fact that All Might just happened to stumble upon Deku is “nothing short of a miracle.” which, yeah, that was definitely a stroke of luck there. being quirkless saved his life. but being quirkless is also part of why he was chosen in the first place, and we’ve always known that much

“in other words, kiddo...”

looks like there was some hurried clone stamp usage going on here lol. but props to RHA as always for putting this scan out so fast, especially given how exposition-heavy this week’s chapter has been

“anyways, that was the main topic” ARE YOU SERIOUS. there are like ten other topics imma need you all to get to here, people

(ETA: seems like this is a mistranslation; the line should actually read something more along the lines of “and now for the main topic.”)

FFFFFFFFF

“ENJOY YOUR CLIFFHANGER THIS WEEK.” dskfalkjlkjwlgkjl you really went and dumped this discourse on us yet again. fucking...

(ETA: forgot to mention, but as several people mentioned, this seems to be another mistranslation -- rather than asking Deku to kill Tomura as though it’s doing her a personal favor, Nana is asking “will you be able to do it.” in other words more of an “are you capable of doing it” type of thing. which is a very reasonable question to ask given that Deku is, well, Deku.)

anyways, and the answer is obviously going to be “no” of course. this isn’t going to end any differently than when the previous Avatars all told Aang to kill Ozai. but I guess it means we’re in for a fun conversation next week

so Nana looks pretty grim here though (nothing at all like the person who once taught All Might the importance of saving people with a smile), and I’m wondering if this means she believes that her grandson is already beyond saving. as in killing him would be a mercy, as opposed to him continuing to live with AFO bending his mind and body to his will. except if that is the case, I think she’s underestimating Tomura’s own will. and definitely underestimating Deku’s will to save

and also, just... I’m so fucking sick of AFO screwing the Shimura family over, honestly. this is exactly what he wanted. well fuck you, guy. you don’t get to have what you want. go out there and save Tomura, Deku. for his sake and for Nana’s. give them some hope. do your thing, boy. can’t wait for your big speech all about it next chapter lol

[neo-culture-mafia]

SOS Marriage (l.mrk)

— Warnings: Just prepare your uwus, freaked out Mark all over

— Words: 2.2k

— Genre: fluffy, soft and chaotic dreamies.

— Summary: “After Mark texted an “S.O.S” to his friends on their chat group, all of them came in a hurry, hoping that it wasn’t as bad as Mark made it sound like.”

“Guys, I’m screwed.” Mark stated as he was the last one to sit on the table looking like he had seen a ghost. 

He was looking awfully weird, but when he took off his cap and threw it off on the table, rubbing his face helplessly, his friends knew it was bad, they just didn't know how bad. Yet.

“Mark, what the hell? Don’t tell me you called us here just to rant about having to deal with that reckless group inside of the Junior Forces all over again.” Hyuck said in an offended, but joking tone as he stared at his agonizing friend.

“It’s worse.” Mark cautioned with an empty look on his face.

“What can be worse than that?” Jisung asked, even though he was the one with the smallest age gap with those punks.

“Marriage.”

Everyone but Mark smiled.

“What?! You proposed to Y/N?! Wow, congrats, man!” Jeno rushed to congratulate his friend, as the others on the table began to do the same.

“No, you idiots.” Mark cut off the happiness, rolling his eyes at his friends’ reaction. “She gave me the “I think we’re ready to take another step” talk last night when we were cuddling.” He motioned the quotation marks with his fingers.

“And what did you say?” Chenle asked in antecipation.

“Nothing, I panicked and pretended I was asleep before she would look at me.” Mark let his hands go to his head, messing his black hair and almost pulling hair by hair out to stop him from going crazy over the situation.

All that it could be heard inside of the room was a bunch of whines and disapproving screams as some of the boys throw no harmful things at Mark.

“Oh Mark, you are a shame! What are we supposed to do with you?” Donghyuck barked as he slapped his hand to his forehead in pure disappointment.

“I can’t even find enough words to scold you right now.” Jaemin complained, looking offended at Mark’s words. Deeply offended. “Who on earth would react like that?”

“I would.” Jisung quietly admitted, looking at the ceiling as he tried to pretend like he hadn't said that.

“You don’t count, you’re still a baby, but Mark?" Renjun quickly reassured his friend with now rose cheeks before pointing back to Mark. 

"Man, you’ve been living with this girl for the past three years! You see her every day, you talk to her about everything, you two share the same bed and...” Renjun stopped his sentence when he heard all the giggling from his friends, burning them his death stare before he could continue. “NOT sexually speaking, you dirty minds, just sleeping together…” He tried to make it better, only to hear the giggling all over again. “Okay, are you guys what? 10 years old?” He rolled his eyes in irritation.

“Anyway, MY POINT IS: How is that any different from marriage?” He continued. You’ve been through so much together here in Neo Culture and you two undoubtedly trust each other with your lives. I don’t see how marriage would be a bad idea.”

“He’s got a good point, dude.” Jeno said, shrugging when Mark cocked an eyebrow at him with wild open eyes.

“Yeah, I’m with him on this too.” Chenle backed his friend up, receiving the same shocked stare from Mark.

“Same.” Hyuck agreed in crossing arms.

“Tell me, you guys were dying to team up against me in something like this, weren’t you?” Mark questioned, trying to speak his way out of how serious he talk had turned to be. 

Unfortunately for him, he had no other choice but to sigh right after when his friends didn't express any reaction, all waiting for his answer. “It wouldn't be a bad idea man, I just feel like I’m too young for it.”

“Do you love her?” Jaemin asked, dead serious. He adored Y/N since forever and if he ever dreamed about Mark not being honest about his feelings towards you, Jaemin would be the first one to give him the biggest lecture of his life.

“I do! I can’t live without her anymore, it’s just…” He took a deep breath, shaking his head at his own puzzled state. 

“I don’t feel like I can be everything she needs her husband to be right now. I have the Junior Forces to take care of and day after day more kids come around looking for help, my help. And there’s this…” he stopped himself, not sure if it was the moment to bring that up. He wasn't even sure if he should bring that up.

“Rumor that Taeyong might pick you up to be his successor if he dies?” Jisung completed the unfinished Mark’s sentence.

Mark wasn't shocked. It actually made a lot of sense that his friends knew about it since no one pushed him to keep talking as it would usually happen whenever he stopped himself from spitting something out.

“You knew this already.” Mark affirmed in realization as all the puzzle pieces came together.

He had no idea his friends knew. This had been silently eating himself alive for the past few weeks, and he thought he couldn’t talk about it with anyone since it was just a rumor.

“We've heard of it, but man you can’t let future maybes command your life.” Chenle addressed in a serious tone that didn’t match his bright personality.

It was unusual to see all of his friends acting so serious about something. Every time the seven of them sat on that specific table next to the window, it meant they were going to spend some quality time chilling together during their rare mission-breaks, but since the matter was serious, Mark appreciated the lecture.

“Taeyong won’t die any soon, not under our watch.” Jaemin pointed at all the men sitting on the table, a few positive nods backing his words up. “So if you don’t think you’re ready to get married, you need to talk to her about it, but don’t use this whole speculation as an excuse not to do so.” Jaemin advised, staring right at Mark’s eyes as he handed his friend one of the random phones lying on the table. “Call her.”

“But...”

“Mark, man up! I’m sure she will understand.” Hyuck stopped his friend to continue. “Besides, if you dare to ruin this relationship, I’ll ruin you for murdering my dreams of being your best man.”

“And who said I trust you enough to make me a decent bachelor party?” Mark snapped at his best friend whose he was sitting next to.

“If by “decent” you mean no Vegas, then I’m really not your guy… yet.” Hyuck teased him with a sly smile on his face. “I’ll have some years to change your mind.”

“Please, don’t ever get married. I can’t even cope with the idea of Hyuck planning your bachelor party without thinking about how he would put us all in jail.” Renjun begged, bringing his hands together as everyone but Hyuck laughed in agreetment.

“Thank God we know how to break out of those, but I might consider leaving Renjun there as your marriage gift.” Donghyuck snapped. Renjun jokingly closed his fist before Mark started to calm things down.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough.” Mark interfered with a smile on his face as his motioned to both of them to just chill. “You guys never fail to make me feel better, thank you.”

“Quit the sentimentalism and just call her! That will be only the start of our payment.” Renjun stared at his friends’ eyes, telling them everything they needed to do.

“Payment?” Mark frowned.

“How do you think us, the mafia psychologists, keep on affording those?” Jeno pointed out to Chenle’s watch. “Oh wait, we don’t, Chenle is the only billionaire present here.”

“Here we go, we’re not having this conversation again.” Chenle rolled his eyes as he comfortably leaned his back to his chair.

                                                            …

“Hey babe.” You automatically smiled when you saw your boyfriend, you ran till him to hug him, only to stop yourself from doing it when you realized Mark’s serious facial expression. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I mean, no, I mean… we need to talk.” Mark stuttered as he pulled the chair for you to sit.

For the first time in years, Mark was nervous around you. When the two of you met he was your superior in Junior Forces, so he didn’t let any nervousness show around you, not even in your first kiss — even if he did admit to you months later that his hands were trembling before he pulled you close that night —.

“Look, I don’t want you to be upset with me, okay? At least hear me out first.” His hands were shaking, making you finally worried.

“Mark, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?” You questioned, gently holding both of his hands, trying to calm him down a bit. “I hardly get upset with you, don’t worry.”

“It’s about something I know you’ve been thinking lately, something I don’t feel ready to do yet.” He started and you nodded for him to keep going. “I know you must think that we are strong enough to go through with it, but I wouldn’t be honest to you if I proposed something this important to you when I don’t feel 100% confident about it. Marrying you is such a big call, one that I don’t want to rush. I don’t want to risk all the good we have accomplished together in a rushed marriage that…” He started, rubbing the back of your hand while he tried to read your face that was holding a blank expression.

“What makes you think I wanna marry you?” You cut him off in a serious voice tone, realizing seconds later that maybe you sounded rude.

“You don’t?” Mark asked with a smile on his face. 

He had never sounded so relieved before, but that only lasted until it dawned on him that you DIDN’T want to marry him, maybe you wanted to break up or stop living together... “Wait… you don’t?!” he almost shouted in wide-open eyes, letting go of your hands.

“No…” You started only to see Mark’s face twist like never before which freaked you out about how your “No” sounded like to him. “I mean, yes! I do want to marry you someday, but why would you think I want to marry you now?” You held his hands again, trying to calm him down all over again.

You and Mark were very alike, so two easily freaked out people in the same conversation wasn't exactly the best idea. Especially when the matter in question was related to something as big as marriage.

“What you said last night kind of tipped me off, I guess.” He shrugged, still scared about what you actually tried to say last night and the suspense wasn’t helping his anxiety to go away.

“That?” You questioned as you remembered the words you’d spoken. “Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that! I meant that we should adopt a dog together.”

Ten seconds. That’s the time it took for both of you to stare at each other’s eyes and burst laughing out loud.

“False alarm, you guys. No marriage at sight.” Mark announced in a louder tone of voice, knowing his friends were hiding somewhere in that room.

“THANK GOD!” Jisung screamed before he felt his arm receiving a flick from Jaemin, not believing the youngest reaction 

“Ouch! What?” he stared at his older friend with a small pouting on his lips. “I’m relieved for him. Don’t get me wrong, Y/N, I do love you, but Mark can’t even be a good father for his plants, now imagine him with a real baby.”

“Please, do not imagine a real baby, you two are still too young for that.” Chenle emphasized the last part with a worried look on his face.

“I’m disappointed; however, I think the world is not ready to see my best man skills yet.” Hyuck boasted himself as he came out to the light, followed by the others.

“I can’t believe you guys are involved in this absurd. How am I supposed to get married when I have 6 other children to take care of? Impossible.” You reasoned in an ironic voice tone.

“He was the one who came to us talking all of this nonsense, we had nothing to do with it.” Renjun answered in a defensive tone.

“You indirectly encouraged him by going along with it, you’re guilty.” You snapped, giggling at your friends' faces automatically going down. “I love Mark, but I know you guys better than this to understand that there’s no way I get to marry Mark before asking for your blessing.”

“Wise woman, that’s why we love you.” Hyuck calmly agreed with a sly smile on his face.

“I wouldn’t mind giving you guys my blessing, but at least give it some good three years ahead of us before it actually happens.” Jaemin hopelessly looked at you with a jokingly pouting on his lips.

“Noted. I promise you that we won't have any marriage in a good time.” You reassured your friend, receiving a nodding and a sighting as a response.

“At least, we won’t have a mini Mark running around any soon, I can drink to that.” Jeno laughed at the smile on your face that literally vanished at the moment Jeno finished his sentence. The idea of having a baby at such a young age haunted you.

“I can freaking party to that! We should celebrate later. It’s been a time since we’ve been all the eight of us together. What do you think, Mark?” Renjun looked at his friends, finally noticing how quiet Mark was... and also how big and sincere was the smile on the oldest face.

Mark went from freaking out and fearing that he would lose the love of his life to smiling and laughing with all of his loved ones around him on the same day. The reason for his smile was reasoning so loud and so clear on his mind that he had no other choice but to voice it out:

“I think I don’t deserve you guys.”

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

animaniacs - s3e6: hercules unwound

yeah it’s season three now. sorry. season 1 had sixty five episodes in it and season 2 had..... four. i don’t understand it either. but none of those episodes had mice, so i guess we’re here now!! (if i’m wrong, and they did have mice, feel free to get back to me, but i definitely didn’t see any mice on the wikipedia page.)

episode summary: inexplicably existing in ancient greece, the boys plan to steal zeus’ lightning bolt. which is the source of his powers, i guess? i don’t know. this episode makes no sense.

the rundown:

so here’s the thing.

they introduce ancient greece.

they introduce hercules.

they establish he’s a crybaby who has twelve (12) chores to do today, which... seems like an excessive amount of chores, sure, but he’s literally just rolling around on the floor and having a tantrum about it.

zeus gets pissed off and electrocutes him.

and then the warners show up. “i’m lost,” says wakko, “is that our cue?” they have no idea. they’re confused. i’m confused. this short has gone in like eight different directions since it started.

still, they potter down to where hercules is crying, introduce themselves (left; yakkoles, right; wakkonemnon)

(above, the goddess of cuteness, aphrodottie.)

and then dot goes and lays on the floor and decides she doesn’t want to do it.

“you wanna just skip this cartoon?”

“yeah.”

“alright, see ya, pal.”

and off they go, i guess.

that’s.... as accurately as i can summarise it. none of what happens there has anything to do with the mice or the future plot, so i’m just gonna skip past it, if that’s okay.

poor hercules. having to clean out the stables all by his lonesome.

meanwhile, after a sudden jumpcut, we see aristotle desperately trying to teach his class the source of zeus’ powers. it’s the lightning bolt, you goofs! the lightning bolt equals unlimited power!

none of them care.

good thing someone does! so we can get the review started already, christ. this is how they’re arranged at first, but it’s only for a couple of frames, so i’m highlighting it because it’s very funny! and also very easy to miss.

“we, pinkus, shall steal zeus’ lightning bolt, overthrow the kingdom, and

TAKE OVER THE WORLD.” good thing they managed to squeeze another closeup in there, huh. just can’t have an episode without them.

“but how do we get to the tippy-top of mount olympus, where zeus lives?”

“i have that figured out, pinkus. behold, across the street, the agean stables, where legendary, famed and godlike horse pegasus spends the day.”

calm down, brain. jesus. i thought pinky was the one with the Horse Thing. brain goes onto explain that every night, pegasus flies back to mount olympus,

okay.

and they’re just gonna hitch a ride. climb on his back without him noticing. steal the minivan, except the minivan is a flying horse.

so off they go to do that, i guess!

it immediately cuts to them being chased by cerberus, with a “run, pinky, run!” from brain, which is cute. his name is pinkus, in this interation, but brain calls him pinky for short. did the writers intend that to be cute? probably not. do i find it cute? absolutely.

it’s very peatb-esque. still, they outrun it eventually.

“in future, pinkus, let sleeping guard dogs lie. especially when one has three heads.”

“funny. the middle head seemed so friendly.”

honestly? the animation here is cute. and it kind of sucks that they gave the good animators whatever this episode is. is there something i’m not understanding? it’s just been completely threadbare random throughout. they always seem to give the good episodes to the guys who draw them weird. it’s upsetting.

but the stables are there, so off they go.

so while hercules cleans out the stable and whines about it,

medusa gives pegasus a makeover. she is just dying to braid his tail, for no extra charge. this would probably be a lot funnier if i knew who they were trying to make fun of, here? but it’s all good. (that’s one of the problems i have with this show, sadly. all these celebrities stopped being quite so famous literally before i was born. hoo hoo. i’m sure there are like, 30-40 year olds who appreciate the humour far more than i do.)

the mice have found their target. soon, they will strike.

“there he is, pinkus. in all his wing-ed glory.” he puts the stress on the “ed” and it’s uncomfortable. nobody says words like that, brain! or i guess he does? whatever.

so they climb this conveniently placed shovel, ready to jump right on! because, yknow, it’s right there.

except hercules decides that, yknow, he needs a bigger shovel to... clean out the stables with, and--

look. guys?

i have so much anxiety, okay? real talk for a sec. you see my head? nothing up there makes sense. this is why i run a cartoon mouse blog. one of the ways that manifests is in incredibly nervous coprophobia. i don’t like to talk about it. it makes things difficult for me. this episode makes things difficult for me. i barely made it through the stupid... garden of mindy. you don’t want to see this, i don’t want to see this, i do not want my comfort characters to have to deal with this, and i do not want to put myself through the heart attack of trying to transcribe it like the... bad children’s tv jokes bible. okay? i’m skipping this section because it doesn’t add anything and i’ve had enough.

hercules uses the shovel. the mice get dirty. presumably, between scenes, they go take a bath. let’s just say that happens. whatever. cartoon logic.

but nobody takes a bath without hercules’ sayso, so he decides to beat them to death. this is just the first frame i skipped to. i assume this is what’s happening.

i’m not enjoying this episode.

homeboy decimates a wheelbarrow. it has good faces, i’ll give it that. this episode has good faces. is it wang? why on earth would they give wang this bollocks.

“be gone, manure sprites!”

yeet.

thankfully there’s nothing weird in this barrel. it’s whatever medusa was doing pegasus’ pedicure with. dish washing liquid, i think? whatever that means. i’ll be honest, too many gross things have happened in this episode and i’m not sure i could handle anything e--

ah.

what.

thankfully, pegasus decides this is a good time to get the fuck out of dodge.

the mice agree.

hercules grabs bucket girl and also gets out of dodge.

that was weird and random and not needed.

but like, it’s fine. it’s good. they’re on the horse. the horse is flying directly towards mount olympus. yknow. it worked out.

conclusion:

as zeus mopes about his son’s work ethic, the mice get on with their own, tiny mouse jobs.

“upon that table, pinkus, is zeus’ mighty lightning bolt.”

“gee, i hope he has it charged up.”

with a LIGHTNING CABLE!! hoo hoo. hee. those were definitely not a thing when this came out.

brain doesn’t find it quite so funny, sadly, but he chooses to ignore it in favour of hustling his little mouse ass onto the table.

“all power is ours, pinkus. now to-- take over the world...”

bonk.

this is not the first time this has happened. (or maybe it is? chronologically? who knows.)

but oh no! zeus looks through his big old zeus telescope that he has and works out that the stables are worse than ever, actually, and hercules has no intention of cleaning them.

he’s off having a coffee break with medusa! typical. time to electrocute him.

so zeus reaches for his trusty lightning bolt.

pinky’s so chill about this. he’s just vibin.

yeet.

he just straight up throws the whole thing. does it respawn? y’all. i don’t get it.

“i sense the pivotal moment of failure quickly approaches.”

unfortunately - or perhaps it is forunate, depending on how you look at it - zeus just straight up misses.

the mice rebound.

aaaaand that can’t be good.

sploosh.

of course, whether or not this was zeus’ intention, the upshot is that the stables are nice and clean, finally.

so hopefully we never ever have to go through that again.

on the downside, the mice did drown, so i guess that’s the end of this blog.

brain: 3 ½ pinky: 5 ½ outside influence: 8

“as your reward, you get to marry a goddess.”

“the goddess of love? the goddess of beauty?”

“no!”

“the goddess of cuteness, aphrodottie.”

(so we iris out on child marriage. goodnight, everybody.)

[chrryjin]

sᴋᴢ ᴍʏsᴛɪᴄ ᴍᴇssᴇɴɢᴇʀ ᴀᴜ

Name: Kim Woojin

Birthdate: April 8, 1997

Occupation: Vocal trainer

Username: Teddybearwoojin, having a common name sucked so he had to be creative

Texting style: Usually uses proper grammar, but still will use acronyms and slang. Will leave it up to auto-capitalization.

Text bubble color: Mustard, basically a matte gold

Fun fact: He’s the eldest so he gets made fun of for being old a lot by the others. Everyone’s secretly terrified of him. Rarely posts selfies. Usually pretty chill.

Bad end: You end up kidnapped to Mint-Eye and get brainwashed into the cult, he didn’t make it in time to save you.

Good end: Woojin became your vocal trainer. He saw potential in you to become a singer, so he nurtured you. You both toured the world, and he proposed in one of your concerts.

Quote: “Whoa, it’s kind of weird to hear your voice instead of texting. Hm? You want me to sing you to sleep? Fine, but just this once.”

Name: Bang Christopher/Chan

Birthdate: October 3, 1997

Occupation: Actor

Username: CB97, his initials and birthyear

Texting style: Varied, usually proper grammer too. May type in all lowercase just for the aesthetic.

Text bubble color: Grey, since he couldn’t do black.

Fun facts: 1/3 of the ‘leader group’ 3racha (how everything started), the offical leader leader of the groupchat. Has you listen to song snippets that he produced as a hobby.

Bad end: You get into a scandal with him, his agency forcing him to denounce you. You end up harrassed by fans until you commit suicide.

Good end: You date in secret for a while, before he proposes to you on live national television. You accpet. The two of you overcome the hate and he retires to live a peaceful life.

Quote: “Me? Talented? Not really, but thank you! No, seriously I’m not! I think you’re the amazing one, organizing the party and everything.”

Name: Lee Minho

Birthdate: October 25, 1998

Occupation: Dance instructor

Username: Leeknow. He gets a lot of clowning for this.

Texting style: Lots of emojis, decent grammar. uses 🥴 a lot

Text bubble color: A turquoise/aquamarine

Fun facts: He has three cats that no one cares to remember. Those cats are his life clown them and die. Threatens to kill someone on a daily basis, also a flirter.

Bad end: On the way to his dance studio at night, you get robbed and eventually murdered for trying to fight back.

Good end: You encouraged and gave him confidence to follow his old dream of being an idol. With your support, he debuted in a group, and revealed your relationship before he retired.

Quote: “Hey beautiful, want to grab a drink sometime? Just kidding, but I’m always up for it. Drinks, or eliminating someone annoying for you.”

Name: Seo Changbin

Birthdate: August 11, 1999

Occupation: Producer

Username: SpearB, his ‘producer’ name.

Texting style: Uses a surprisingly cute style, lots of kao emojis (〃ω〃) and normal emojis despite his ‘darkness’

Text bubble color: Light pink. Edge lord sure.

Fun facts: 1/3 of 3racha. He’s a pretty well known producer, he’s made songs for multiple dramas and idols. He insists that he’s ‘edgy’ but he’s really not. Gets clowned for his height.

Bad end: You accidentally leak one of his works in progress and his music gets plagiarized. You get kicked out for betraying him.

Good end: You urged him to go into the spotlight rather than hide behind his music. He becomes known for his speed and spit-fire style, with you as his biggest supporter.

Quote: “What? Did you just call me short?! Binnie’s not short! He’s really mad now, hmph! It’s not funny! I’m seriously not short, hey!”

Name: Hwang Hyunjin

Birthdate: March 20, 2000

Occupation: Travel blogger

Username: Princejinnie, his nickname.

Texting style: He texts pretty normally. The occasional spell-check mess up, he uses emojis and slang too.

Text bubble color: Light blue, periwinkle.

Fun facts: He models part-time, but he’d rather have the places he visits become popular rather than his face. Super sensitive, a crybaby. Hated Jisung when he was younger.

Bad end: The bomb in the apartment malfunctions and goes off just as Hyunjin enters, the explosion killing you both.

Quote: “Hello? Hm? No, I’m not crying *sniffle*. Okay, maybe I am. The last episode of the drama got to me, okay? Maybe I can cry on your shoulder soon.”

E̸̡͔̲͇̦̙͙̗̳̣̹̤̩͇̣̥̫̩̜͙͗͗͊̽̓̈́͑̇̆̔̀̔̈͊̿͐̃͂͒̔́̅̀̏͜͝ͅR̸̥͈̱̪̪̳̞̙̍̌̀͆̃̐̽͌̏̚͜͠Ṛ̸̡̤̞̗͈̜̱̫̖̫͉̤̂̽̓̍̏̾͋͆̃̃̈̑͘Ǒ̶̘̮͍̙̱̌͛̀́͂̉͒͊̈̈́́̑͛͑̈́̆̈́̄͑̚͠R̵̝̦̝̰͎̾̓͛͐̌̈̈́̕ A̸̢̛͉̱̙͙͇̟̻̲̻̮̦̝͛͑͋̂̂̿̂̋̄̀͒͊̌͌͘͝͠ľ̵̢͚̞̠̭̺̣͖̈́̆͛̀̍̽̂͋͜ţ̷̢̛̱̤̥̗͎̪̭̮̳͚̗̔̅͗̈́̆̈́̉͋̑̅͊̒͂̈́̽̄̕͘͝e̵͓̤͐̇̉̊̃͂͐͐̈́̃̐̐̏̉̀̏̃̀̈́͝͝ŕ̴̢̹̤̬̯̗̪̜̫͍͓̍͆͊̏͘n̴̺͕̪̮̮̰̔̎͂̂́̏͗̈́͂͝a̸͔̭̣̲̤͈̯̘͈͖̤̹̖̒̅̑̽͐͑̓͘͘͝ͅt̵̖̣̭͈͙́͌̾̎̆̆̈́̍̂́̆̈́́̓̒̈̀̀̀ȩ̶̧̱̥͈̫͓͖̦͓̳̜̼̻͓͇̑̂͊̈́̀͑̂̑͘͘͜ͅͅ ̷͔̮̫̋̋̏̅̊͗̈́Ȓ̶͍̼̅̄̅͒̈́͠o̷̪͓͔͉̖̥͚̗͈̎͌ų̷̹̦̱̬̪͍̖̭̱͇̬̼͂̔̿̌̉̔̍̉̿̄́̑͋̑͛̕͠t̴̢̛͙̭͍̮͍̝̝͕̬̺͚̲̙͙͒̐̂̐̀̒͑́͐͒̍̑̕ẹ̶̩̗̪̞̘̥͈̩͎̤̬͓̰̲̑̇̿̌̀͌͆̃͂̈̕͝

Occupation: Mint Eye’s hacker

Username: Unknown

Texting style: Super creepy, mysterious. Seems to know everything about you.

Text bubble color: Pure white

Fun facts: He was brainwashed at a young age, a devout follower of Mint Eye. The travel blog is a coverup, he usually scouts potential followers in those areas.

Bad end: He kidnaps you, and you end up brainwashed and suffer from stockholm syndrome, loving your kidnapper and willing to die for him.

Good end: You end up becoming his light, and you help him into the process of recovery. He makes up with Jisung, and his ‘coverup’ becomes his true self. He’s happy again, with you.

Quote: “Mint Eye is the only place where I matter. Everything else is always Jisung, Jisung, Jisung! Yoh liar! I don’t matter to you, how can I?”

Name: Han Jisung

Birthdate: September 14, 2000

Occupation: Producer

Username: J-One, his producer name.

Texting style: Sporadic, it can vary immensely. You can’t predict it. Has sporadic moments of deep thoughts.

Text bubble color: Light purple, lavendar

Fun Facts: 1/3 of 3racha. Famous producer, collabs with Changbin a lot. Usually ignored whenever he acts cute or makes a joke. Knows how to hack from his olden days.

Bad end: You get kidnapped and used as a hostage, Hyunjin betraying Stray Kids. Jisung sacrifices himself over to Mint Eye, but you die anyway.

Good end: You help him defeat and recover Hyunjin. They end up being closer than ever, and you a true companion for Jisung. You saw through his mask and saw who he truly was.

Quote: “Heyo! It’s your neighborhood squirrel~ Hehe, you’re the only one who laughs at my jokes, the only one who loves me in this forsaken world~”

Name: Lee Felix Yongbok

Birthdate: September 15, 2000

Occupation: Song writer

Username: Fortniteguy4419

Texting style: Lots of memes and slang, it’s a miracle if you understand what he texts. Similar to Jisung, has his moments.

Text bubble color: Bright yellow, a bit harsh on the eyes

Fun facts: He’s relatively new, similar to you. He’s not super famous yet, but he’s trying. He’s the one opening up chatrooms at horrible hours, preventing you from sleeping.

Bad end: He gets tricked into Mint Eye, and you decide to go solo to save him. You both end up becoming brainwashed followers.

Good end: Felix ends up making it big, he writes songs for you to sing together. The fans supported you the whole way, excited that you were together. You both move back to Australia.

Quote: “Eyy, let’s get it. Dare me to drink five Redbulls? Anway, it’s 3am and I’m probably going to die. You better save me with a kiss okay?”

Name: Kim Seungmin

Birthdate: September 22, 2000

Occupation: Prosecutor

Username: #1myday

Texting style: Proper grammar, but will use emojis like :3 occasionally. Will text in all caps a lot, especially when about Day6.

Text bubble color: Mint green, on the lighter side

Fun facts: Huge Day6 fan, will never shut up about them. You’d think he was the normal member but nope. Regularly threatens to kill someone, like Minho. Soft spots for Hyunjin and Jeongin.

Bad end: You end up becoming the target of a serial killer, the one Seungmin was investigating into. You end up murdered, even though the killer was caught.

Good end: The serial killer is caught, and Seungmin becomes a well-respected prosecutor. The both of you go after the criminals that no one wants, becoming an unstoppable duo.

Quote: “You listen to Day6 too?! Oh, that’s my favorite song as well! We should go to a concert together sometime! You’re my favorite, stan kings.”

Name: Yang Jeongin

Birthdate: February 8, 2001

Occupation: 3rd grade teacher

Username: Babyshark

Texting style: Relatively normal, probably the most normal out of everyone. Uses emojis and slang but not too much or too little.

Text bubble color: Hot pink, looks nearly like red.

Fun facts: The youngest, he gets babied. He’s kind of evil, and he could probably get away with murder in the groupchat. Hates aegyo, hates being babied. Kind of hates the members.

Bad end: You visit his school one day, but then a terrorist showed up. You and Jeongin end up dying from protecting his students.

Good end: You end up in a cute and wholesome relationship. You baby him a lot, and he could tolerate it since it was you. His students helped him propose, it was really cute.

Quote: “I think you’re the only normal one in the groupchat—What? I’m not a baby, I’m a man! I teach babies! Baby teaching babies—It’s not like thaaat!”

Bonus

Name: Y/N

Birthdate: XXXXX XX XXXX

Occupation: XXXXXX

Username: Readerinsert

Texting style: It varies from time to time, but usually lowercase due to laziness. Emojis are used a lot too, and so are abbreviations.

Text bubble color: Your favorite color

Fun facts: You were lured and basically trapped into a groupchat named Stray Kids, and you had to organize a party on their behalf. Sketchy, but the guys were all sweet so you couldn’t help it —

Quote: “Wait, did you say that this apartment could explode? Great! Give me the sweet release of death, escape from the capitalist world of depression and letdowns—”

[jeongfm-blog]

               hello  everyone  !  my  name’s 𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒂 (  pronouns  they  /  them  )  and  i’m  super  excited  to  be  here  !   it’s  been  a  while  since  my  last  city  rp ,  but  since  it’s  one  of  my  fave  kinds  of  rp ,  i  figured  i  would  give  it  a  whirl  once  again  !   some  boring  facts  about  myself  is  that  i’m  a  sucker  for  golden  hour  despite  not  even  having  an  instagram ,  i  spend  too  much  time  watching  youtube  videos  (  i  recently  got  back  into  watching  my  girl  jenn  im  and  now  i  remember  why  i’m  so  obsessed  with  her  ) ,  and  i  have  books  on  my  shelf  that  i  got  for  christmas  and  haven’t  read  a  single  one  !  i’m  super  excited  to  introduce  you  guys  to  my  pride  and  joy  𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒊𝒂  𝒋𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈  as  well  as  to  plot  and  interact  with  everyone  !

full name : sofia jeong.

nickname(s): sof and posy by her dad only !

birthday : february 9th, 1997.

zodiac : aquarius.

moral alignment : neutral good.

gender : cisfemale.

pronouns: she/her/hers.

sexual orientation : bisexual.

romantic orientation : biromantic.

height : 5′6″ ( five foot, six inches ).

hometown : ascot, brisbane, australia.

nationality : australian.

ethnicity : korean.

language(s) spoken : english, korean, and conversational portuguese.

occupation : social media influencer.

aesthetics : bright computer screens at two am, a pristine instagram theme, morning dew, perfect lighting, clear lip gloss, glass skin, selfies in small circular mirrors, freshly dyed rose gold hair, oversized tees and denim shorts, soft skin on white sheets, foreign languages, bright early mornings, staring in awe into someone’s eyes, honeyed laughter, music playing in the background, late night drives, early morning hikes, iced coffee on cold mornings, vanilla scented body lotion, the sound of pencil on paper, highlighter gleaming in the sunlight, perfectly styled hair, and soft pink on crisp white shirts.

i. background.

taemin jeong was a freshman at the university of queensland, studying computer science, when he met his future girlfriend grace kim, who was studying architecture. he was awkward and bumbling while she was sociable and graceful ( no pun intended ), but somehow the couple was a perfect match from the moment they met in freshman algebra. they made their friends sick with their love and moved through the challenges of college with one another. 

the summer before their senior year, they moved into their own off-campus apartment. this same summer, grace discovered that she was pregnant with their first and only child, who the couple later named sofia. when the couple graduated, sofia was three months old and featured in a lot of their graduation photos. 

after their graduation, though, things for the couple began to fall apart. while taemin wanted to marry grace and have a family, grace was feeling trapped as she wasn’t expecting to have a child so soon. so, one day when taemin took sofia to visit his parents, grace packed her things and one picture of their daughter before leaving a note for taemin.

to put it lightly, taemin was heartbroken upon discovery that grace was gone, but he couldn’t sulk for long as he had a wide eyed seven month old to care for. so from that point on, taemin focused on his career and sofia. he thankfully had the help of his parents while he worked long hours to save money, but after two years they moved into their forever home.

growing up, sofia’s life was pretty normal, despite the fact that her mom wasn’t around. there were times where things were tight in the one parent household, but for the most part sofia has no complaints about her childhood. much like a lot of people, sofia was a kid who liked filming weird videos with her friends and doing absolutely nothing with them other than leaving them on the computer for her dad to find.

the very first beauty youtuber that sofia ever watched ( like a lot of people ) was michelle phan ! she absolutely fell in love with michelle and began wanting to do her own makeup videos as well. she made a really crappy channel when she was like ... twelve and let’s just say that the video she made was horrific ! like most youtubers, her channel’s name was like like sofiaposybeauty60 or something ugly like that.

a few years later, when she was about fifteen, sofia tried her hand at youtube once again. this time she made a twitter and instagram to correspond with it, hoping that she could build something of a platform. her videos were of terrible quality and her makeup was probably really bad, but she did it anyways. she’d post her makeup looks on instagram and when that grew, so did her channel.

skipping along because i talk too damn much, now at twenty two, sofia has five million subscribers on youtube and 1.6 million followers on her instagram. if i were to compare her to an actual youtuber, i’d say she’s a mix between jenn im and sophia chang. she’s very much into staying in her own lane and her videos are pretty ~aesthetic and chill. she has her own online clothing store as well called ( something, idk yet ).

anyways, sofia made the move to barcelona from brisbane about a year and a half ago because she wanted a change of scenery. she came to barcelona previously on a trip with some girlfriends and after a while of planning, she made the move ! she currently lives in a cozy little apartment with her eight month old goldendoodle named rockie !

ii. appearance.

sofia’s appearance is pretty much canon to rosé’s ! her hair is currently strawberry blonde and is always a variety of such. she likes to change her hair color every so often, but this is the one that’s been around for a while. sofia hasn’t had dark hair since she was about thirteen years old, which is when she first dyed her hair from black to brown. since then, she slowly began to lighten it to where it is now.

when it comes to her sense of style, it’s very much inspired by model off duty. it includes a lot of denim, a lot of black, ankle boots, and sneakers. she’s a big fan of tote bags and is usually always seen with one ( since she’s always carrying around a camera, her laptop, and other little things ). it’s no surprise that she has a container in her closet full of them, but she of course, has her more luxury ones in her collection as well.

for the most part though, when she’s just lounging around her apartment, sofia is super casual. it’s fuzzy socks. it’s oversized tees that swallow her physique. there’s no makeup on her face. she has on her glasses and her hair is piled onto her head in the messiest of messy buns. she’s a huge fan of jewelry though and is hardly ever seen without rings on her fingers and her favorite necklace around her neck.

iii. personality.

vociferous, precisian, and beguiling : when it comes to her positive traits, most of it entails from her career on social media. prior to being on youtube, sofia was more on the quiet side and kept to herself, but since then especially with doing vlogs, she’s more comfortable being the one to start a conversation. she’s a big perfectionist, also stemming from her career, but it’s trickled into behind the camera as well. she doesn’t like to half ass anything, no matter what it may be. and finally, sofia is as charming as ever. she can charm the pants off of anything with a little eye glimmer and a hair flip, she’s got them in the bag.

advantageous, negligible, and censorious : as for her negative traits, sofia is advantageous in regard that she knows how to work people into believing that she’s the best choice for them. it’s how she’s gotten most of her sponsorships -- sometimes her manager jokes with her that she doesn’t really need him. sofia is super petty as well, which is actually bad -- she’s the girl who doesn’t let ignorant comments slip on her instagram or twitter, but sometimes all it does is get her into trouble with her public relations team. finally, sofia can be critical of people at times, even if she doesn’t mean it in a malicious way. maybe it stems from being analyzed constantly herself, but she can sometimes immediately regret it after it’s been said unless it’s someone that she doesn’t get along with.

iv. wanted plots.

i’ll have a wanted connections page up every soon with a couple of detailed plots that i’d like to have, but i’m always down for ( but not limited to ) enemies with benefits, ex friends, best friends, flirtationship, failed relationship, best friends, squad, almost relationship, good/bad influence, family friends, someone who appears on her channel, slow burn ( !!! ), workout buddies, neighbors, confidants, and above all else, chemistry !  

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Summary: Logan convinces Max to get a new catsuit, figuring the Familiars and public know her look too well. What neither of them realized was that this outfit was a trap from the Breeding Cult, meant to get rid of Max's immunity to the comet. And when they storm White's base, this becomes apparent when the suit is triggered and Max nearly dies. But then Logan comes and absorbs the effects.

Author’s Note: This plot is... weird. I'm not even going to deny it. But I had another account where I wrote LoMax fanfiction, but have deleted it. And even though you don't see it on this account, I feel like I exhausted every LoMax idea I could think of on that one. Which means I sort of have to think out of the box now to get inspired for them. And I want to be inspired for them. But despite the weirdness, I hope you'll all find a pretty good tragic piece here.

Speaking of which... I didn't want to kill Logan (and yes, this fic kills Logan. Warning you now), because I love love love him and he and Max are the OTP to rule all OTPs. But this is what the muse hit me with. -shrugs- I blame it on me just watching Wesley's death in Illyria's arms on Angel the Series.

Anyway, happy Dark Angel year! Which was really why I wanted to finally post something for Lomax/the fandom again!

“I don’t wanna hear it, Alec. I don’t wanna hear how it was apparently always wrong for me to love Logan… Because he was just looking out for me again, in trying to find a way for me to stay off the Breeding Cult’s radar—…and for me to stay away from him, if that’s what I really wanted—and he died for it! So save your ‘I told you sos!’”

Max wasn’t sure if she was actually being fair with this. Because maybe in having lost Rachel, Alec would understand what she was going through and know not to go there. When she’d told him about Ben, he’d been silent… Hadn’t he?

Well, even if that was true, Max was too livid to give him the benefit of the doubt right now—or to give him with anything for that matter. She wished they weren’t friends, and that they’d never met. Because maybe if they hadn’t, none of this would have ever happened.

All Max wanted to do was curl up on Logan’s couch and die herself. And she did do the former.

Hours Earlier

“So… Why do you think I need a blue catsuit again?” Max asked, as she slid into said outfit in Logan’s bathroom: somewhat remining her of the night she met Mia. But Max refused to think on that now, since she and Logan had actually been good then—all things considered—and now they weren’t.

Logan sighed—Max could hear this with her cat-like ears—before he rolled closer to the door in his wheelchair, presumably so she could hear him even better.

“Because, Max… The Familiars know too much about you now. And what you look like. The public, too, for that matter. This way, you can hopefully change your look enough that people won’t necessarily notice you on missions. I also bet White and his crew think you’d be too arrogant to alter your suit at all. So they probably won’t even think it’s you in this blue suit for a long time.”

There were a lot of holes in this logic, Max knew. But she wasn’t willing to argue with Logan about it today: not when he was being nice and trying to do something to protect her.

But Max wondered if that was all it was. She got the sense, that—despite everything—he preferred the woman she’d been a year ago. And that by even moreso taking her away from that image, he’d be more okay with their breakup.

And if that was the case, Max wanted to kill him… It wasn’t his fault, of course. He still had no idea that she’d lied about wanting it to be over and being with Alec. But there was a selfish part of Max that had to know how he’d ever believed any of those things from her.

But none of this mattered right now, her inner-soldier chastised her. Breaking into White’s new facility was what was on the agenda… And keeping Logan far, far away from her as she did so.

But still… as Max came out of the bathroom and gave Logan a look, she found she couldn’t help poking fun at him like she’d used to.

“Next you’ll say that you expect me to wear red, white, and blue?”

Past Logan would have responded to that negatively, Max knew, in thinking that she was mocking his patriotism and desire to return America to its former glory… whatever that was. But the Logan who had been more chill this year than he had any right to be, just raised an eyebrow and asked, “What?”

Max laughed… and instantly hated herself for it, as she fell back into the bad routine of sitting on his computer desk while he typed away. “Nothing. You can mostly forget about it, Logan… It’s just that one of the few times I managed to go to school as a kid, we got quizzed about police officers. And one of the questions was if they wore red, white, and blue or not… for some reason. Wearing blue just makes me think of that now. Like, social justice warriors should wear some of our flag or somethin’.”

And while Logan didn’t quite chortle at this himself, he did smile at her as he looked at her the way he had when she’d first told him about OC and Diamond at Crash. “Becoming my field commander more and more, I see.”

Really, Max should have seen Logan bringing back that old joke from a mile away… but she hadn’t. And she was glad that she hadn’t, so she could again feel the kind of warmth she’d been craving ever since she left Hannah’s house.

“…Anyway, Logan… What can you tell me about this place that’s trying to manufacture the comet?” Max asked, once again reminding herself to get back to business. The fates of Logan, OC, Sketchy, Kendra, Herbal, Bling, and even Normal—God help her—depended on it.

And for that reason, Max figured there was a good chance she was going to die on this quest: for all that “a life for a life”, and “the universe needs to stay in balance” mentality. And since those muscle brutes wanted a world to themselves and were willing to die for it. But Max still wanted to be alive and kicking, damn it! There was still so much she wanted to do with her home girl, Joshua, her friends…even Alec, the transgenics, and Logan. Most of all Logan.

Logan’s lips formed into a thin line at her question, and Max could tell he was just as concerned as she was—but she tried not to let it show: deciding to adopt Zack’s sense of phony sentimentality, for just a moment—and it told her that as much as he’d been talking with certainty earlier, about how she would be working for Eyes Only again after this… he wasn’t so sure.

“…What’s there to tell? It’s an abandoned airstrip again. And the articles they’re using to try and manufacture the meteor are nasty. Some of these items were used to try and destroy the world before—via water, of all things—and I really wish you didn’t have to be around them. Bring Alec, if you have to. Joshua too, maybe… and whoever else. You guys should probably enter through a weak spot in the roof, land on the scaffolding and jump down to the operation’s center… There will be a few Familiar guards there I’m sure, but hopefully you can take them. Then destroy everything and get the hell out of there.”

Max didn’t have to be told twice. She nodded once, taking it all in that fast, and walked out on the man she loved once again.

But somehow, Max found herself stopping at the threshold this time and turning around. She didn’t really know why she was saying this now, but she was speaking the words: “Not kissing you the night we took down Manticore was the biggest mistake of my life.”

And then she was riding away from Fogle Towers on her Ninja: Logan’s gasp of breath at her news still greatly on her mind, as she headed the way of his savior. The way of Joshua.

…

Everything went to Hell in record time once the transgenics got to their enemies’ lair: Max, Alec, and Joshua had barely made it down from the ceiling before the water of the device had somehow sprung free and been drawn to Max. And at once, it had her seizing in a way she never had before and made her completely useless.

She tried to fight on—and to ignore the pain and the fear—in focusing on the sort of grim determination Jondy had had during their live ordinance drills from back in the day, but it was mostly to no avail. Joshua and Alec ended up kicking a lot of ass for Max… but all the ass kicking was on normal guards, not Snake Cult. Which told Max that this was a setup from the get-go, but then them outing their location so easily couldn’t have been anything else.

Ames White—the only bastard they were looking for who actually was here—just laughed and scurried away, before any of the three of them could catch him. No doubt he thought she was dead and that they’d won: since no one had extracted her blood yet, and nothing could pass on that cure for the real meteor now.

And wasn’t it her end? Even though Max wanted to punch the sky and say “no”, she was starting to doubt that it wasn’t…

And that was why Alec—via Joshua’s command—called Logan over, so he could come say goodbye to her… Her brothers told Max that they were too afraid to try and move her, in case they made her suffer anymore or so that didn’t kill her if leaving her untouched for a moment meant she would have been fine.

When Logan got there, that was when the strangest and worst thing of all happened.

If Max had thought anything would kill Logan, that was from some sort of allergic reaction… it would have been through the Virus. Of course…

Not through his sucking out whatever was in her new outfit into himself.

If Max wouldn’t have been dyingherselfthis instance—while holding Logan in her arms, and not even caring about the damned Virus because now this illness had somehow been passed to him and he needed to know she loved him—she might have ribbed him, for the fact that it had been hisidea for her to get these clothes…

But Max wouldn’t blame Logan for his own death—she never would—and this ensemble would have possibly helped her in two ways, if things had been different, but that didn’t matter now.

Right now? The catsuit she was wearing was disappearing from Max more and more, and leaving her in some sort of red outfit as what was rest of the blue (that was becoming less and less) seemed to rest against Logan in Max’s eyes

One of the Familiars had gotten the idiotic notion, that if they couldn’t beat her then to join her, Max was realizing now: which was how they’d made this… hoping Max would buy the new uniform—and rather foolishly, she had—and that when she’d put it on, it would render her no longer immune to the comet and cripple her? Surely in looking at her genetic code, and the remains of the last time this harbinger had been on the Earth, they had finally figured out what made her immune to it… and how to change that. They’d just needed one chance to infect her, and they’d found it.

…But they hadn’t been counting on the fact that someone who couldn’tbe healed by her immunity would be right by her side, and touch her, and negate it: since the immunity negater thought that if this person couldn’t be saved—and they couldn’t be—it had already done its job.

The furious part of Max—who hated that the love of her life was dying—wanted to despise him for this: that even in his last moments, Logan was still somehow being too big a person and leaving her behind… almost choosing the world over her. Again. But she knew that was ridiculous and shoved the idea down.

Logan hadn’t consciously decided this, after all, and in his last moments he didn’t need to hear these kinds of thoughts.

No.

Max just focused her attention on kissing every available piece of skin on him that she could find—something that she should have done a long time ago—as she held Logan’s hand.

And she would have even been content to die with him—and maybe she still would—if she didn’t already hear Alec begging her to leave since the police were here, and the anti-transgenic cry was already loud enough… And if she knew Logan wouldn’t come back and haunt her, if she didn’t get away now so she could save everyone.

“Logan… I love you,” Max said, with a tingle tear that landed on his cheek: It reminded her of the one she’d cried at Bennett and Marianne’s wedding, that Logan had seen… how she should have married him even back then! And Max chose to believe that his red face right now wasn’t from the sickness, but in blushing in thinking the exact same thing.

“Don’t ever doubt that for a minute… wherever you go, though I’m sure it’s Heaven. I- God, I never thought I’d say these words. It’s so embarrassing and cliché, but… I love you more than I thought it possible to love anything. And you’re the one who showed me how to love… I only pushed you away this last year because I was afraid of losing you. And I can’t believe it’s happening now!”

Logan squeezed Max’s hand here with a surprising strength. And even that took her aback, since she knew he didn’t have much of it left… as he was now turning purple. If only she knew what was even happening to him!

“I love you, too, Max,” Logan whispered, as tears streamed down his own face… that broke Max’s heart into a million pieces to see.

But at the same time… at least it meant he was taking this seriously. And he wouldn’t get to the Pearly Gates, knocking on God’s door, and only then stop to realize all he’d selflessly given up.

“I always have. Always will. And I’m sorry—But I’ll wait for you.”

And it was at this point that Max began openly sobbing like she had with Ben (because hadn’t the “I’m sorry” part been the exact words she’d said to Logan as she died? But unlike what had happened with her, she knew he wouldn’t come back). Logan reached out a hand to put on her face, but didn’t quite make it as he winced in pain.

“Little Fella, we need to go now!” Even Joshua was urging Max at this point, as he tried to pull her along—was Alec doing so too?—even as he stopped for a moment, stammered a few words, and let out a sad and lonely howl.

“…Max, I’m sorry. I really am. I liked the guy too, but I see White coming back now with a red version of his water thing. And if that’s the real comet they’ve manufactured, we’ve got to get plans to share your blood STAT, and-“

But Max paid the two of them no mind—fighting them both and breaking away just once, like she needed to.

“…Logan, if you—the great and powerful Eyes Only—are going to Heaven, then I don’t know how it will ever take me… But if I’ve ever believed in anything, it’s you. So I’ll have faith in you and wait for the moment we can be together again.”

And like she’d been wanting to do for solong—she leaned down and kissed his lips—enjoying it much more than she should have, since they’d been denied it for so long.

But the moment they’d come alive in this way, for the first time in a long time—perhaps even moreso than they ever had been before. And why did Max have visions of dancing behind her eyelids?—was exactly when life left Logan’s body.

And then all Max was aware of, was numbness.

…

The next thing Max knew after she slept—had she slept? When was the last time she’d ever done that?—was her laying around in Logan’s apartment like she owned the place, and really… she should have. God, why hadn’t she married him again?!—and Alec trying to reason with her… about something. But the subconscious part of her mind had blocked it from there, that was for sure.

That was when the conscious part of her mind snapped at Alec, and Max found herself heading back to Logan’s couch: the only place where comfortableness and truths lied.

And then Alec’s words in her ears from far away: “…I wouldn’t have said any of those things, Max.”

Then after Alec went away, Max heard the closing of the door to an Aztec and she cried.

[classic-cherryberry]

For the *cough cough* self-harm reactions post (because, as someone who's gone through it before, it breaks my heart), assuming Red is the one who did it (of course, who else?... poor guy...) ‼️⭕️ Blue, ❗️♨️ Classic

This little drabble ran a bit long. Heh- w o o p s . That’s why it took way longer than both you and I expected- so sorry for the wait. In this story, Undertale Sans shall be referred to as Comic and Underfell Sans will be referred to as Red. I didn’t incorporate Blue’s piece here since this bit took long enough to write on its own.

Ugh… it is HOT today. Red sighs as he flops onto the couch, feeling sweat drip down his skull. Weather on the surface is so fuckin’ weird… he doubts he’ll ever get used to it. He sub-consciously wipes his forehead, feeling another heat pulse run through his covered arms. Must.. take… off… jacket…

He grumbles and slips his arms out of the cursed thick, black sleeves and carelessly tosses the black mass across the room, watching with slight amusement as it lands on the stairs and falls down a step. Serves the sun-soaker right… he groans as the heat stops pulsing through him, his now bare arms relieved from the pain of that winter jacket.

In the kitchen Comic is sitting on the counter, lazily swinging his legs a wooden spoon magically stirs a pitcher to his right. Of course, stirring it himself is just too much of a bother. He hears the set of groans from the other room and opens his eyes, his curiosity and slight concern sparked. “hey, everything going alright in there red? you good?”

“Yeah, I’m about as chill as I can get in this heat.” Comic snickers a bit at that, and can practically feel Red smile in return. “Izzat cold shit done yet? Been waitin’ for AGES…”

“it’s literally been three minutes, bud.”

“Time is an illusion.”

Comic rolls his eyes. “you need to stop watching so many cartoons, you dork.”

“Yeah, that certainly means a lot coming from you- it’s no secret you binge sit-coms.”

“well, at least neither of us have watched the same documentary about bees seven bajillion times in the last week.”

“Good point.”

Ah, nothing like a good old conversation ending in poking fun at Blue’s weird obsession over cheezy documentaries to pass the time. Comic glances over at the pitcher, which is now a nice steady shade of pink. Looks wonderful for this dreaded weather.

Summer is truly a hoodie-lover’s nightmare.

Comic takes the pitcher, letting his left eye flicker out, as it is not in use anymore, and brings his normal white pupils back into existence before pulling two tall glasses from the cupboard. “you gonna come over here, you lazy butt, or do i have to come serve ya?” Comic calls. He hears Red snicker.

“As if I’M the lazy butt here, Comic.”

“well, i’m not wrong.”

“Just come over here with the fucking gay sugar water, eh?”

“it is not ‘gay sugar water’, it is pink lemonade. i’ll have you know that pink is a very mascul-”

Comic was in the process of crossing from the kitchen to the other room, eyes half-lidded and the lemonade literally only not spilling all over the place due to sheer magic, when his little response got cut short.

Oh.

Fuck.

His gaze is immediately drawn to Red’s bare arms. He had never actually seen him without a hoodie or long-sleeved shirt, and now he thinks he knows why.

“…ine…. color.”

Red just rolls his eyes, oblivious. “Are ya just gonna stand there all day? Get the fuck over here, I’m DYING.” he complains, throwing an arm over his forehead dramatically to emphasize his point. His arm… Comic’s smile tightens a little as he resumes his walk over, deciding not to ask questions… yet.

He can’t bring himself to say anything witty, his soul feels like it’s being weighed down and his metaphorical throat is suddenly dry. He makes no comment as he sits down on the couch, pours Red’s glass, his mouth is shut as Red keeps snickering over his own stupid(ly hilarious) jokes.

It takes Red a few minutes to even realize Comic is being unusually quiet and still. He playfully rams into his shoulder, amusement glimmering in his red pupil. “Whazza mattah wit’chu? Heat melt your tongue off?”

Comic jolts a little, pink lemonade sloshing onto his lap and making his cheeks heat up with a light blue glow. “u-uh-”

Red snickers and leans his head against Comic’s shoulder, an eyebrow raised. “Ay, common- I ain’t stupid. Tell me what’s goin’ on in your weird mind.”

Is Red completely clueless? Does he even realize that his slitted arms are exposed? A chill runs down Comic’s spine, sweat beginning to gather on his brow. “oh, it’s just that it’s weird that you don’t have your hoodie on. i know you don’t take it off much.”

Red shrugs. “So? You’ve seen that shit before, didn’t bother you then. Just fucking spill the beans.” He reaches over with his empty hand to boop Comic on the nose when he sees i t. O h . His joking demeanor suddenly deflates, his arm freezes and his pupil disappears.

Comic tenses as well. “red-! fuck- don’t leave me buddy- come on, i ain’t mad-” oh no, oh no- Comic quickly places the pitcher on the floor, as well as the two glasses, and Red doesn’t even twitch as the cup is plucked from his hand. SHIT.

Comic gently cups Red’s face in his hands. “buddy, red- stay with me- listen ‘ere, i’m not mad at you for- f-for- t h a t- but i need you t’talk to me- please, red-” Red is being unresponsive. This isn’t good. Steeling himself, Coming takes a deep breath, trying to convince his voice to stop shaking.

“red. you’re checkin’ out again, bud. c’mon, wake up.” He uses the loudest, deepest voice he can without yelling in Red’s metaphorical ear. As he hopes- the volume shakes Red back to reality.

“Wha- huh? C-c-” Red jolts a little and gasps, his red pupil returning to his right eyesocket.

“yeah, bud. i’m right here, kay? nobody hurtcha. it’s only been about twenty seconds. you got nothin’ to freak out about. just… here.” Comic bends down and takes up Red’s cup of lemonade again, gently guiding Red’s still frozen fingers around the glass. “drink some of that. it’ll help ya ‘chill’ a bit.”

That definitely helps Red back to the present, his shoulders relax and he lets out a single, distant sounding, “Heh.” He then shakily brings the glass to his teeth, his eyes closing as the cold liquid splashes past the barrier under his skull. Comic breathes a sigh of relief, wiping a bit of the sweat off of his brow.

Once Red swallows Comic decides that he needs to press now. He just… has to know. “you uh… remember why you blanked out there?”

Red hesitates before nodding slowly, his expression darkening a bit. “Yeah.”

“you… think you can talk about it?”

Red looks uncertain. “I-I dunno, man- it- it ain’t somethin’ I enjoy thinkin’ about…”

Comic feels himself losing patience. Some small part of him fears that he was the one to cause Red to do this to himself. The rest of him just needs to know if he’s okay. “red, please… talk to me. i- i just wanna know what’s wrong. wazzit something i did? i mean- some of those look pretty recent- are blue and i doing something wrong?” Well… that all came spilling out quickly.

Red looks a bit shell-shocked. “Wh- Comic- n-no- it- it’s not you, it’s all just… me. It’s… stupid.” He looks away, trying to distance himself from the concerned body pressing up against him.

“…it’s not stupid, red. it’s hurting you. it can’t be stupid if it’s bringing you to such drastic measures.”

Red still looks uncomfortable, but he looks back for a brief moment, long enough for Comic to give him a gentle smile. Red sighs, suddenly itching to disappear into his embrace… though, at the same time, he wants to disappear into the oblivion so that all his lovers could forget about him. About this moment. He’s been dreading it for as long as he’s known Comic and Blue… he knew it was only a matter of time before they found out, and the anxiety of just WHEN had been crushing.

“I’ve just… been worried, I guess.”

Red goes quiet for a few moments, and Comic feels a mighty need to wrap his arms around his anxious doppleganger and envelope him in a hug that never ends. But… he doesn’t know how Red would react to the contact. He’ll… play it safe. As much as it kills him to do so.

“I… some part of me thinks that this is all fake, yanno…?”

Comic bites down on his metaphorical tongue. If he intervenes, Red may never open up about this again. He wants to tell Red that it isn’t- all of this is real and genuine, those thoughts are just old habits-

“I’m scared that yer just puttn’ up with me for the hell of it. Maybe to get some sick laugh from it. I… I’m scared that I’m not doing enough for the two of you. All I do is laze around while Blue works his ass off- and you’ve been takin’ care of the house… I-I’m useless- aren’t I- just a pathetic l-lump-”

Red’s voice begins to break and crack and Comic can’t hold himself back anymore.

Sleeved arms wrap around bare ones, and a smooth skull buries itself into the nook of the neck of the scarred one.

“that isn’t true. none of it. red, i am not acting. blue isn’t just putting up with you- i’ve seen how he looks at you. you aren’t useless. we both love you being here- our lives wouldn’t be complete without you tellin’ jokes, helpin’ out with the laundry… just… being here. you don’t mean less than blue or me in this relationship, red… you just can’t see yourself in the same light as blue and i do. there’s nothing wrong with that… you’re doing your best. that’s all blue and i care about. We’re just so, so happy you’re here, red…”

Red lets out a tiny sob, nearly transparent globs of wet magic pooling in his eyes and blurring his vision.

“That’s why it’s so stupid… I can’t bring myself to believe that.”

Comic can understand that. Sometimes he gets little spells in which everything feels fake as well… is that what Red feels all the time? That’s a lot of pressure on one guy.

“hey, it’s okay. i get that. just try and remind yourself that blue and i are here for you, okay? just… talk to us if it gets bad enough for you to… do that.”

Comic feels Red nod in response. Good… maybe he can prevent this happening in the future. A few quiet moments pass before Red finds his voice again. “Couldja get offa me now? Yer hot as hell…”

This only makes Comic grin. “i don’t need you to tell me that, hun.”

“Oh- come on- I didn’t mean it like that- yer makin’ me overheat here!” Red’s cheeks are flushed. Damnit- as much as he loves Comic nestled up to the crook of his neck like this, his body is considerably warm, especially since he hasn’t taken off his jacket. How he manages in this fucking summer heat is beyond Red. “but you’re so comfy, red…”

“Fuck you.”

Comic is glad that Red doesn’t feel too horrible after that conversation. He’s well enough to make a scene… Comic decides to take that as a good sign.

They’d be okay.

[49scribes-a]

Time for Dick Shots.

Kit just is a butt. He's a butt.

wE AREN'T DOING THIS HERE.

Are you two talking smack about me just cuz I can't understand Tibetan?

What else are foreign languages good for? Just ask Lavi.

A lot of shit happened.

A LOT of shit.

Its bookman. A much happier bookman. Also a much taller bookman.

LAUGHS. RIP BOOKMAN. Wait. I better not say that.

As soon as that tank pops up I'm just gonna be "Nope, not gonna do this guys, not today."

NOT TODAY.

Not in the stars.

I love this area... up until Furry McFuckGoat.

Who is furry mcfuckgoat?

You'll find out who Furry..... mcfuckgoat is.

Ur in for a good time.

WOw this ice water is so pretty just... ROLL IN IT. Its just so pretty.

*sighs* I'm the reason Nathan dies guys cuz I gave him hypothermia.

How the fuck--

OH JESUS.

Y'know its a good thing none of these icicles have come off and fallen cuz otherwise you'd get skewered to hell.

*gasps* I DIED. THere it is I KNEW it.

Across. Across? ITS NOT ACROSS.

I Tarzan'd my ass right down the chasm.

Was that Furry McFuckgoat?

They're coming. Soon.

o h g o d.

*sings* More water that's cold as Hell~ HYPOTHERMIA~!!

HEEEEY. THERE THEY ARE.

Nope. Stay away from me. I don't wanna get hit. *SQUEELS*

OH GOD NO JESUS--

*sings* Get the Hell away from meee--*squeals* NO.

Oh dear lord-- I GOT STUCK.

DIE. PLEASE DIE.

MEMO TO ME. MEMO TO ME. DO NOT GO INTO THAT CORNER.

AH--

SWEET JESUS CHRIST

*gasps* you'RE A DIIICK.

ANGERY GOAT MAN.

OOoooh my god. My chest hurts. From the panicking.

SO ANGERY GOAT PEOPLE.

We can look at how weird they are-- okay I'm gonna look at how weird they are by myself then.

Guess we're gonna meet the whitewalkers guys.

"Its so pretty" til you died to dead.

What if the bookmen had like secret vault or whatever that were insanely complicated to get into like this?

That or just Bookman gracefully jumps around shit and Lavi struggles with it.

Nah he got them magnificent rabbit legs. He Jomp.

Bookman, shoving Lavi into a training course: Oops.

Lavi its time for you to learn an important lesson on being a bookman: Hardcore Parkour.

I get a bridge and its just like: No your bridge breaks.

(bookman voice) today is the day you learn to fly, boi. Go.

"Learn how to fly boi" wow is this Lord of the Rings?

WOOOW okay I don't know how that happened but I'm gonna take it.

RIP Nate. May he forever grace the afterlife with his vibrating.

Yeah there's the fun way out of here.

Furry McFuckgoat brought his friends.

Yank that motherfucker.

JEEESUS WHERE THE SHIT-- WHERE DID THAT EVEN COME FROM.

I-- somehow avoided that.

Theeey'rre heeerrreee. Angery goat people.

Death by Dickshot

You missed Furry McFuckGoat, but not the tank.

Tanks for the headsup~ *wink wink*

Wanna know what I did all day today? Too bad bc Imma tell you anyway.

HQ to Bianca -- HQ to Bianca -- we have lost contact.

You're not fancy.

Fucking twirl. Exactly.

Took that like a champ!

FuCK. I dropped the gun that I didn't want to drop.

Wow you had to throw the gun that way?

Are you dead?

Peek your head out. I'm pretty sure you're still alive.

FUCKING EAT IT SHITHEAD.

Wow that was a fucking wake-up call.

NO, BYE, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ALIVE. Thanks for the grenade, I need it a lot more than you.

Oh my god did you hear them? They're like "OH MY GOD".

Is that it? Yyeeeaaa no its not.

OVERSHOT IT, but whatever, so long as you die. Byye.

Are those bullets? yeeeah. Are those grenades? YEEEAAAAH.

WHO-- WHAT--

LOOK AT THAT. ITS THE TANK. GUESS WHO'S GONNA PLAY KINGDOM HEARTS? IT ME. BECAUSE NOPE. NOT TODAY.

NO YOU SEE THIS SHIT THROUGH TO THE END.

ZIG ZAG.

Oh... I don't like that metal on metal sound.

I think that was a kidney shot I'm not 100% sure.

Oblivion. You're going to oblivion.

Wrong game.

ROLL. ROLL A LOT-- damn it.

God damn I do not appreciate being shot at.

Come on I would think RPG is fucking universal language do you have an RPG?!

Watching Bianca shoot people is like watching her play duck hunt. (Insert annoying dog laughter at every miss).

Was that overkill? Maybe. Do I care? No.

*high pitched* AAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

ZIG ZAG TIME.

FHAAAK MY LIFE YOU ASSHLE.

Its a tank, how scary can a cow on wheels be?

Hijack it. Hijack it and conquer your fears.

He went places.

RPG? PLEASE? RPG. GUYS.

RPG! NOPE. Its mine now.

Yoink.

Dramatic ass death. Clutching his chest as if he just got dumped by his baby blue.

Noice shooting Tex.

Okay he died. That's great.

Gottarun gottarun gottarun gottarun gottarun.

Its only death, Bianca, walk it off.

Oh wanna know what I learned about myself yesterday? Too bad again bc Imma tell you anyway -- again.

How to kill an edgyboi trying to be an asshole in less than 3 seconds -- not take his insult as an insult.

OO-- AA--

We were beginning to think the 8 year old went feral and ate you.

Hey you never know. He might just do it one day.

Anyway-- they kept passively trying to get me to fuck off and I just... I just didn't and they eventually just chilled out and let me play without being dicks about it.

Children are statistically more likely to eat you than an adult.

Children are scary things.

I can believe it.

The entire time they were eating your fucking organs everyone else would be saying "AWWWW SO CUTE".

C A R N A G E.

Married people are wild, man.

I DON'T KNOW IF I WANNA DO THIS TODAY, I mean... first the tank, and then the cars, although the cars... I just... fucked them up. Just fucked them up, right off a cliff.

The couch is trying to eat me.

Oops-- YOU DIDN'T SEE /SHIT/.

Just threw Nate off the side of the cliff.

Took him out Achilles style.

WHAT WWOoooooooo.

Dodged that by the hair of your balls.

Let me see if I can... shove you... BYYYEEE. I'm a vindictive bitch.

Bury him in the abyss.

Sounds like an old lady farting.

Goodbye to your legs.

Peek a boo with guns.

I would really appreciate it if someone would give me a grenade.

Man, he's rolling over there trying to be fancy. You're not fancy.

WOOOO MAN SHIT FUCK.

You tryin to gunslinger me? Heeellno.

Fancy feet.

Don't be like fancy feet, be an elite.

WHY ARE YOU ALL SO CLOSE TO ME.

No, stay your asses on that side of the bridge.

Stop giving me heart attacks over here I don't need them.

*whispering tensely* I don't need them, I said I don't need them.

Man, let me tell you, I would'a ended up throwing that up and I would've ended up throwing it behind me.

Did we say rope? We meant hope, as in an intangible thing that doesn't exist.

That went dark.

Not nearly as dark as my outlook on life :3c

Or as dark as my prospects of a future. But who needs tomorrow?

I DIDN'T MEAN TO THROW MY GRENADE, WHAT.

There it go. Nyoom.

The void appreciates your contribution.

*laughs* I'M SO MAD STILL ABOUT THE FUCKING GRENADE.

Look at them flappy flags -- how they so flappy? It cold as fuck.

Subtle? What's that. I don't know what that is. Sorry, I don't know what subtle is, its not gonna happen. Not now, not ever.

The only thing subtle here is your ability to shoot everyone in the goddamn dick without even trying.

LISTEN, leave-- *laughs* Leave my aim out of this.

I will leave our aim out of this when you stop handing out dick shots like halloween candy.

(nathan voice) I believe I can flyyyyy.

Launch backwards.

Come here guy. Come hereee. Bye. Jackass.

Maybe I should keep the SAS.

"Bianca you were supposed to be subtle." There was nothing subtle about this shit.

There was no reason for the yoink.

Drop down Nate, Jesus, why did you have to be ExTRA.

Unfortunate. My jokes will be less appreciated due to ill timing now. Truly a tragedy in three parts. 

Everyone named Nathan is Extra.

Today you taught that man an important lesson... a lesson in flight and physics. And that lesson is that people can't fly.

Well I shot him in the dick and it might've been just a little too on-point.

Long Time No Fuck My Life.

hSSSSSSSSSS

It didn't let me-- crap that time.

SHOVE THEIR CORPSES INTO THE ABYSS. AS VENGEANCE. THEIR SOULS CANNOT ASCEND. LET THE VOID CONSUME THEM.

You jinxed it.

I hate you for having that fucking good aim.

If I heard that in my last seconds of life, I would resurrect just long enough to kick them in the balls so goddamn hard they'd invert into a Y and never return to normal.

Mmmm gratuitous ass shot.

Where is the dragon sniper because I really, really, really would like to have it right now.

I wouldn't mind getting shot by you in rl as long as I got to hear some of this quality commentary before dying.

I think Nate's just a lil bitch and died of a splinter. Can take a hole in the liver but not a splinter. Anything but a splinter.

You said no -- but mommy said yes.

Better not-- Better fucking not!! ...Okay.

WHY IS THE BRIDGE JUST NOW BREAKING.

PLOT INCONVENIENCE.

Come on Nate, squirrel your fucking way up there.

The amount of splinters...

Them pants are tighter than they are thicc.

YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING YOU NEED A GRENADE, BUT WHEN THEY OFFER IT YOU'RE LIKE "Naaaaah".

(blu q. kazoo voice) SUSPICIOUUUUUSSS.

Hey Elena... what brings you here... behind this crate?

That gasp of realization was the best.

No, that "FRUCK" was the best.

Heeeey did you drop your gun? No you didn't, you're an asshooole.

The eight year old ate them.

They got V O R E D.

Get outta here with that.

Gonna replace the word bored with vored now just for the fuck of it.

DICKSHOOOT. It was on purpose.

I need a word for dick that rhymes with shot.

Why not just cock shot.

Because that's average. Everyone expects cock shot but who's gonna see shlort shot coming?

I'm shlort sighted.

You killed me the last time and I did not appreciate that one bit.

If you're going to be launching nades, you gotta expect to get shot in the nads by the one and only vibrating Nate.

I'd be vibrating too if I was being shot at all day too, my fucking nerves would be fried.

I did not like that-- that-- that was not cool.

I DIDN'T SEE THE ROPE AND I THOUGHT YOU FINALLY LAUNCHED YOURSELF. I WAS PROUD BUT ALSO UPSET BECAUSE THAT SEEMED LIKE THE MOST DISAPPOINTING LAUNCH.

YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY, RIGHT ROUND, LIKE A RECORD BABY--

Twirl hunny twiirl.

Can't believe I wanted to hang with someone who can't even appreciate Skyrim Shuffle. What a disappointment of a stoner.

Just dies and flips into the void.

New test on anyone who wants to be my friend -- has to appreciate the skyrim shuffle.

I WANNA DIE THAT WAY. JUST BE STARING INTO THE VOID DEBATING MY LIFE, THEN SUDDENLY "B Y E BITCH". I'D START LAUGHING. I'D DIE LAUGHING BEFORE I HIT THE GROUND.

I'd die laughing on a roller coaster if my organs weren't shoved into my throat.

Prepare to be Swiss'd.

Are you firing stink bombs.

Shot his ass off. Literally.

NOPE. Get shredded. I don't want it. I don't want what you're selling.

BABY BELL IN THE HOUSE BITCH.

A WHITE PERSON WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE CHEESE. DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT BABYBEL IS.

Have you ever had double cream brie with black truffles? THEN GET OUT OF MY FACE CHEESE HEATHEN.

That wasn't the crow sound. That was the Furry McFuckgoat sound.

That's a god damn butt plug. A very sharp one.

Smooth things over with him via a shot in the back of his goddamn skull.

I slipped and it fell into the void. That's what you tell them.

I don't think they can use the void as an excuse.

IS THAT A PIG ON FIRE.

We've established that he likes me better than you.

God that'd be a great way to go...  direct hit with an RPG. Just... feel something whack me in the back then KABOOSH.

Your bullet count was 69 there for a moment and that was pretty rad.

I'll boost you. Off the side of a fucking cliff.

Oh look -- its a life-sized statue of your ego.

Prepare yourself. You're about to get one of your many wishes.

Vore?

Are you sure its not vore? That's a lot of mouths.

No its Furry McFuckgoat and his friends.

I'd SCREAM OF JOY IF MY THROAT WASN'T FUCKED.

You just got pounded by a furry. How you feel about that?

And again.

Just getting straight up gangbanged here.

I'd kill him so he didn't get the satisfaction of seeing it all. DIE CURIOUS HOE. But I am a far bigger dick than the Russian.

Good aim for being stiff.

They're fucking dead and still better at aiming than you.

Shambala WAS beautiful, til Nate ruined it.

There's always time to sight see you stupid slut.

Catch me enjoying the scenery outside the vehicle of my killer's vehicle. Catch me asking if we can stop and get a slushie at this nice slushie stand before I die.

He's a Russian -- he's already immortal.

[chrishoulihan]

FYF ADVENTCHEA

So this shit turned into a fucking novel, I’m putting it under a cut and it’s just as much for my own recollection as it is for anyone who wants to hear about my festival weekend. Get into it

So I arrived in LA on Thursday morning after my flight was delayed by an hour and ended up getting there at the exact same time as Anna A @yourveryeyes which was fortuitous! We took a Lyft to Exposition Park to pick up her wristband for the festival, wandered around a little bit, and ended up taking the Metro downtown to meet up with Kylie @electric-candyman who was GREAT TO MEET and was also going to the festival, and her friend Chris who doesn’t have a Tumblr afaik and was going to both FYF and the Planetarium show that night. We went to MOCA which was pretty sweet, they had a Rothko room and a few Rauschenberg pieces that were really cool to see in person. After that Anna and I split off to go to Hollywood and check out Amoeba on our way to Sufjan and that was obviously amazing, I didn’t have enough space in the bags I packed to buy any records (which was by design, my broke ass can’t afford to drop a lot of money on vacation and you can’t waste money on stuff if you don’t have room to carry it home *tapping head guy meme*) but I bought a little heart-eyed cat emoji pin as a souvenir and I definitely wanted to buy 5000 things I couldn’t have.

From there we went to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery for Planetarium and met up with Anna L @louisdebumhole ANN- SQUAD REUNITED HELL YEAH. We got to the cemetery and went in all together like over an hour after the doors opened but since it was a lawn show there was still barely anyone lined up at the stage by the time we got there and we got just behind the rail?? AMAZING. I haven’t had the opportunity for rail at a Sufjan show since the Christmas pageant in 2012. Chris showed up not too long after us and joined us right by the stage and Anna L’s friend was there on the rail too so it was a party.

OBVIOUSLY PLANETARIUM WAS INCREDIBLE. My dumb ass forgot to save my Instagram story so I don’t have any of my own videos but it was so great. Sufjan wore his stupid beautiful clashing pajama suit and some fuckin moon boots and he looked fabulous and sang like an angel and said a lot of nonsensical inspirational stuff (like this which is the only video I managed to salvage.) The whole record sounds even richer and fuller live; Jupiter, Moon, and Venus sounded especially amazing. AND fun fact, Matt Berninger was there and watched the entire show from the left side of the stage! My indie dad Matty B supporting his homies!! I also got a setlist after the show ended, which was exciting even though of course it’s literally just a list of planets and in the exact same order as the record lmao. But it’s my first Sufjan-related setlist and I will cherish it forever.

So we got back to Anna L’s house I think around midnight that night and by then I had been awake for like 21 hours so I was exhausted and basically passed out as soon as I could. Next day was the START OF FYF and Anna A/Kylie/Chris and I decided that we wanted to go for Bjork rail, since she was the first act on the main stage on Friday and there weren’t really any other bands playing before her elsewhere that we were dying to see. Before we went to the festival Anna A and I hung out with her friend Jen who was great, we got boba and then went downtown to The Last Bookstore, which was bomb, and had lunch at Grand Central Market. Got to the festival about half an hour before the gates opened, made it through the long ass queue, and went immediately to the main stage where we got basically center-right just behind the rail!! For fucking Bjork!!! Commence freaking out for the next three hours. Chris and Kylie showed up later right behind us and it was such a fun and easy queueing experience for me, everyone around us was super chill and everyone was so hype to see Bjork that we pretty much just looked out for each other and bonded over our mutual fandom. Anna and I had intended to see Bjork together in NYC back in 2015 but it got cancelled so this was a LONG TIME COMING and I’m so glad that we were able to make it happen.

So Bjork was the first set of my whole festival weekend and honestly it was one of the best performances I’ve ever seen?? SHE WAS AMAZING and I knew I was gonna be emotional but I wasn’t fucking prepared for how surreal and incredible it felt to hear THAT VOICE in person and to be that close to her while it happened. Unreal. She had Arca with her as her DJ and a whole string ensemble, and she came out wearing a glow in the dark lime green headdress mask thing and a huge puffy dress that made her look like a beautiful pinata. Everything about it was fucking perfect; she did at least one song from every record except Vespertine. Multiples from Vulnicura/Homogenic/Post, Come to Me, Mouth’s Cradle, Wanderlust, Mutual Core. Fucking awesome. Favorites for me were probably Joga (CRIED), Mouth’s Cradle (fuckin bomb arrangement and a huge surprise), Isobel & Bachelorette (two of my all time faves), Notget and Hyperballad which had LITERAL FIREWORKS AND FIREBALLS going off onstage behind her?? What the fuck?? Amazing. And it was the most fun and loving group of people on the rail I’ve ever been part of; everyone around me was so genuinely excited and emotional and singing along and I could FEEL THE LOVE.

So that was an amazing start to the festival obviously and after Bjork we met up with Anna L and went straight to go see Anderson Paak who I missed BOTH TIMES he was here in Portland last year because I’m an idiot, and WOW he is so great live!! I’m actively offended that he is not my boyfriend tbh, he has the most beautiful and infectious smile I’ve ever seen on a human being. Big ol dance party up in the lawn stage. After that we went back to the main stage to watch Missy Elliott for a while and that was a lot of fun; found out after the fact that Bjork and fucking BEYONCE were watching off stage, so like, now I can say I have been in the presence of Beyonce. Went to Flying Lotus early which was the last set of the night to get a good view, with our sweet Flylo-branded 3D glasses obv. Flylo was amazing as always and the 3D show was awesome, I hope he takes it on the road cause that shit was fire. I’m also really into the mystical shaman look he seems to be cultivating lately lmao, and he looks cute as hell with the longer hair!! One of the biggest highlights of the whole weekend for me was when he started the Captain Murphy stuff, got one verse through The Killing Joke, and then was like “you know what fuck this I changed my mind, I want to do this song cause I never get the chance to do it” and fucking busted out with COSPLAY, which is only my favorite Captain Murphy track ever!!! I wasn’t expecting it cause it’s pretty obscure even for the Captain Murphy stuff and I lost my goddamn mind it was so much fun. (Gotta say though that the longer he keeps riding out Murphy tracks from 2012 at his live shows, the more egregious it is that he still hasn’t fuckin dropped a Murphy album or any substantial Murphy release since then. Come on bro. I’ve been waiting 5 years) ANYWAY so that was great of course. Day One = big success.

Day Two! Before we went to the festival that day we met up and had lunch with Anna L’s bf Jesus, who had a Saturday/Sunday festival pass and is a lovely man with great taste in music and cat photos and baseball caps. First set of the day for me was Thundercat and it was my SIXTH time seeing him live, which is hilarious (gonna be 7 times in September.) One of the first things he said to the crowd after getting on stage was “you guys look like you smell weird,” which was accurate. Obviously he’s always great live and I loved getting to hear more of the Drunk songs since the last time I saw him. He’s also rocking some pretty sweet neon pink dreads right now. Caught the end of Noname’s set with Anna A and Chris afterwards and really enjoyed it! I want to check out her album now cause she was great. Grabbed some food and then the whole crew met up together again to see Perfume Genius – GORGEOUS. I’d never seen him live before and he’s so captivating to watch. His performance of Slip Away to close the set was one of my favorites of the whole weekend.

After that I ended up splitting up with everyone, watched some of Arca’s set but ended up leaving to go hang out on the lawn before Erykah Badu because my feet were killing me and I really needed to sit down and recharge. Erykah was supposed to go on at 9:50; cut to 10:15 and she still hasn’t gone on and I was already planning on cutting out of her set at 10:30 to try and snag a semi decent spot for Frank Ocean, so I said fuck it and bailed to go do that. BUMMED I DIDN’T GET TO SEE HER TBH I was really looking forward to it. But it’s kinda good that I left sooner rather than later because the main stage was already pretty packed by 10:30 for Frank. I got an okay spot to the right of the stage probably about 10+ rows back from his platform catwalk thing, and it was easily the most crowded audience I was in all weekend. Talk about being packed like sardines it was madness, if I had showed up like 10 minutes later than I did I would have had an absolutely shit view.

So like…..FRANK FUCKING OCEAN. Never ever thought the day would come that I’d see him live, and the whole experience was so incredibly special to me. I DEFINITELY cried buckets when he sang Lens, which has weirdly become one of my all time favorite tracks in the last few months, and Ivy really really got to me out of nowhere too. Literally everyone around me within earshot sang along to every single word of every song and it was amazing. He played an unreleased cover of some old school funk track that was absolute straight fucking fire, me and the girl next to me danced our asses off together. That shit better get an official release on his radio show like he said he was planning!! Also Brad Pitt was on stage at one point and that was HILARIOUS tbh I wish I had gotten any sort of video of that myself, but the way the wasted dude behind me shouted “WHAT THE FUUUCK” when he popped up on screen will remain fresh in my memory forever. The whole show was gorgeous and I just LOVE FRANK OCEAN!!! I want him to tour so bad so I can actually plan out a scenario where I can get rail for his show and have a better view.

Aaaand Day Three. Got to the festival kinda lateish because the first act the Ann- Squad wanted to see wasn’t till after 6 (Little Dragon), so once we got there we took some photos and wandered around a bit, met back up with Chris and Kylie and took these majestic photobooth pictures, and then Anna A and I went to Little Dragon early for a good spot. I had never seen them before and it was a blast, just a total dance party. They mostly played stuff from Season High which was fine by me cause that album fuckin bangs. Then mood whiplash when we went straight from Little Dragon to Moses Sumney lmao. We got to Moses’ set right when he started our mutual fave Lonely World, serendipitous tbh!! He is beautiful and I loooove the lighting setup he’s got going for his show, it felt really unique to me among the loud dancey festival fare.

After that we went back to the main stage for Solange, which was great; I’m not as familiar with her music as I could be tbh but I really enjoyed how conceptual and dance-oriented her show was. At one point a whole massive brass section streamed in out of nowhere just for one song and it was fuckin awesome. Towards the end of Solange’s set Kylie texted me to say that if we hurried there was still a little bit of rail space left for Run the Jewels in fifteen minutes, to which we were immediately like UHH YES WTF and hustled our way the fuck over – made it in time, got just behind the rail for motherfucking Run the Jewels right before they went on somehow, *Killer Mike voice* goddammit it’s a motherfucking miracle. Give Kylie 5000 gold medals tbh. And RTJ ended up being probably my favorite non-headlining set of the weekend, SO MUCH FUN. The crowd was fucking nuts, everyone around me was going stupidly hard, and I discovered that I know pretty much every word of RTJ3 lmao. The only thing that could have made it more perfect would have been if they’d done Panther Like A Panther, WHICH THEY DIDN’T and was greatly missed by me. But it was amazing. I’m kind of in love with El-P’s ridiculous ass tbh.

Last show of the weekend – Nine Inch Nails!! Who I love!!!!! And hadn’t seen live in almost four years!!!!!! I’m always fucking trash for Nine Inch Nails honestly, their live shows just turn me into a raging dancing idiot and this was no exception. ‘Wish’ will always be one of my favorite songs to hear live from any band ever. Also got to hear Something I Can Never Have and Reptile for the first time ever for me which was awesome!! Bold move of Trent to throw in Something I Can Never Have as the fourth song in a festival set but I was loving it. Like I said yesterday I randomly lost my fucking mind to The Hand That Feeds lmao, I was actually jumping around like a moron. The newer songs were great too, Field On Fire FUCKING BANGS live holy shit. Basically it was just so great to cap off the weekend with band that I’ve loved for ten years and are always fucking immaculate live. And then when it was all over I got chicken strips and fries and walked out of the festival with the fam eating my delicious food. Perfection.

So that was my weekend and I honestly could not have dreamed of having a better time. I’m so so glad that I was able to do this, see some of my favorite bands with an awesome group of people who love music just as much as I do, get out of town and clear my head, and find some healing at a time when I really needed it. I feel very lucky.

[coolpolarbear123]

BAND CAMP DAY 1

August 7th, 2017

I’m beginning to realize that they probably don’t call it “band camp” here

For those of you who don’t know what I’m doing, every year (since my sophomore year) I’ve made (what originally started as rant) posts about my days of NSBC. What is NSBC? New School Band Camp. I made that name when I was new to the school, if you can’t tell.

10TH GRADE BC POSTS (2015) | 11TH GRADE BC POSTS (2016) 12TH GRADE BC POSTS (2017) | COLLEGE: FIRST YEAR BC POSTS (2018) | COLLEGE: SECOND YEAR BC POSTS (2019) | ALL

Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7

My sophomore year, I began this with a “What You Need to Know.” I’m bringing that back:

This is, in fact, my senior (12th grade) year

I’m a drum major

I main flute

I’m technically head drum major? I think? I’d assume?

MY BROTHER IS IN THE BAND

HERE WE GO ONE LAST TIME:

So, I’ll begin a bit before I actually get to the school

I’m freaking out. I have way more responsibilities than previous years, and even though it’s the first practice I’m still freaking out

My brother’s probably also freaking out, since he’s a freshman (9th grade), but he doesn’t show it (unlike me, who is ranting to everyone over Skype)

So, I’m dying. I don’t know what’s going on

Even thought I do

We get there, and I’m almost about to cry from worrying

I really shouldn’t have been worrying; it’s the first day.

I get to the door of the band room

And I just--gods. I remember completely breaking down in front of that door my sophomore year

More on that if you’d like to hear it, but I did mention in it previous band camp posts (There are two different links there)

Okay, so I go in

Now, some of my band friends have graduated, the others aren’t there

Do you remember how excited I was that I had friends last year?

(I was very excited)

I was like that this year, too, except with my incoming freshman friends

I have a lot of incoming freshman friends

Fast forward, the band directors are doing intros. (There are three of them. I’ve finally gotten used to that.)

So, I’m there, and one other drum major (we’ll call him X) is there. 

Yeah, no, we don’t get introduced

I point this out to X. We start joking about it.

A lot.

“Yeah, who are those weirdos over there? Are they even in band? What are they doing? Where are their instruments?”

I like X. He’s fun to talk to. I miss the old drum majors, though

Did I mention that? I’m the only drum major from last year who is drum major-ing again.

I believe I called them Drum Major #1 and Other Drum Major last year

Something like that

Anyway, I hope this year goes well without them

It will, right?

I barely survived last year

EDIT: IT WAS HDM AND ODM. THAT’S WHAT I CALLED THEM. Okay, from last year there was HDM and ODM. From this year, there is X and Y.

Anyway anyway anyway

X and I are joking around, having fun, half-conducting stuff

It’s not like we have to be up on the podium--it’s the first day

We get to the Star Spangled Banner, and X leans over and says, “I want to play on the percussion.” “[HDM] did it. Go for it.” *X shuffles on over to the percussion* *I follow* X says, “I don’t remember how to put [the cymbals] on *a trombonist helps* I say, “I’m going to go half-conduct. Have fun”

Yeah, so X isn’t a percussion player, but it’s okay, he did his best.

One of the band directors conducts in a way that I don’t quite understand sometimes when standing behind him

I still miss my Tennessee friends

Speaking of which, should out to @the-noose-around-your-mind for encouraging me when I was freaking out. I tried very hard not to smile and make a fool of myself at your text. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

No seriously that helped so much

At some point, Other Drum Major comes in (ODM from last year), and he sits down with his instrument and smiles at me

I’m!!!! People!! Are smiling!!!!! At me!!!!

ASLKJKLASDJ

I talked to Other Drum Major (ODM) during our break.

I also talked to a few others

They didn’t seem bothered by me existence!!!!!

X and I made many, many jokes

“So, do you have good upper body strength?” “It’s okay” “Good because the podiums are a pain to push around, and I’m not going to die on my own.”

X and I finally got introduced at one point

“This is [X], [My name], and *points at door* [third drum major] isn’t here today, but we have three.”

Third Drum Major shall be called Y for future reference (meaning future posts)

We played most of the marching songs

Or half? I think it was just half

I Just Can’t Wait to be King from The Lion King and Phantom of the Opera from I bet you can’t guess

It’s kinda weird? Like, flashbacks to last year and my sophomore year

Talk about nostalgia

Freshman friends!!!!!! ♥

X and I make more jokes

I highfive my brother at one point

It was super chill, so I don’t have much else to say

One of my freshman friends is begging me to listen to the Be More Chill soundtrack, by the way

*During I Just Can’t Wait to be King* “There’s a percussion solo-thing here” Me, leaning over to X: “Can the drum majors improvise it, for now?” *The two of us simultaneously pantomime playing the drums* *My freshmen friends give me weird looks*

That’s all I can remember? I’ll edit if I remember more

At the very end, one of the band directors was like, “We’ll definitely have you guys be doing more tomorrow. Conducting and handing out music. You should have been handing out music today, but I guess we forgot.”

Except he was a little harsh about it

Oh! One more thing: I played a bit of flute

Like, during Magnificent 7--I like that song, so I played my flute.

And Seven Nation Army

One of the band directors almost played my flute at one point

One of the band directors brought his children and they’re cute

One of them liked to wave at me

I liked waving at her

Okay okay okay, that’s it

I think

My brother also liked it

Oh! Other songs we’re playing include: I Dreamed a Dream from Les Misérables and possibly Seasons of Love from RENT

Last year it was said that there was a chance we were going to play some Wicked, but I guess not

That makes me sad

I like Wicked

I still miss my old band. A lot. I miss my old friends. I’m getting used to these guys, though, or maybe I am used to them. I seem to have trouble walking into the band room still, but that’s okay. Anyway, I might still get salty at some points, but I think this year will be more nostalgic and happy-ish at points

Maybe

Me, leaning over to X: “I feel as if I should be taking all of this in--it’s our last time.” Me: “But nah. I’ll keep joking.” X: “Yeahhh.”

OKAY OKAY OKAY I’M DONE I SWEAR

Next BC is tomorrow! Thanks for reading!

[dreamgrl]

VOLTRON COLLEGE AU

Forewarning, this is going to be really long, sorry. Also, this isn’t poetry, as you can probably gather. In this au they’re all in college, Shiro and Allura are seniors, Hunk Keith and Lance are sophmores, pidge is a freshman, and Coran is an English teacher. 

Also, I don’t go to college sooo, sorry for any inaccuracies. 

Everything is under the cut. Enjoy!

Shiro

- he's totally that person that can wear nothing but joggers and tank tops ever and get away with it. like even though they're sloppy clothes he looks so orderly and put together 24/7

- even though he dresses like a total douche he's classy and kind and will always lend you his hoodies

- he has had this one girlfriend (who may or may not be Allura) since like tenth grade and he loves her lots and talks about her all of the time. like he carries extra toiletries for her just in case of an emergency and he is always there for her when she needs him

- he's the kind of guy who's down for spontaneous adventures 24/7 but will also push you to work harder in sports or school or anything else

- he was a great football player in high school, but had to quit after he got in a car accident with a drunk driver freshman year, causing him to lose his arm

- he's really sweet and encouraging and just an overall great guy. your typical all-American boy next door

- he needs glasses bc his eyes are really really bad but he only ever wears contacts. (even though everyone tells him he looks like a cutie with them on)

- he's very modest and also very passionate

- he's an aspiring artist, but he really wants to go into therapy and grief counseling

- definitely a dog person

- not one single pimple in his entire life. what??? the heck???

- nobody ever wants to disappoint Shiro like even if they don't know him they'll just try to keep him happy because hot damn this kid has had enough bad stuff in his life

- rarely sees the rest of The Crew™ but when they all get together (Allura included, sorry Coran) they have a great time and watch Lance embarrass himself

- drinks at parties, but only ever beer and not heavily

- literally his sense of humor is so sarcastic and discreet nobody can ever tell when he's joking

- constantly jokes about dying but will actually fight you if you do the same

Lance

- he wears a watch. it's just a little simple one with a leather strap but it's really nice and he's never seen without it

- he wears his book bag over one shoulder

- he wears pullover hoodies and blue jeans but he will only wear them if he rolls the cuffs

- he owns a lot of flat brims and wears them backwards simply because someone once told him that he looked good

- he has this NASA bomber jacket and nobody knows where he got it from but it's always been there and he wears it all the time

- Lance has a lot of freckles. like. a fuck ton. they're really dark on his arms and back and belly but you can't see them on his face until you're like .02 inches away from him

- he has this party boy kind of attitude, and while he's always that guy that is smirking and laughing and making sarcastic comments under his breath

- he's actually very kind and nerdy. he always turns his papers in on time and he doesn't really have to work to stay at the top of the class. school comes pretty easily to him

- never drinks at parties and is always the designated driver

- majoring in aerospace engineering bc he’s a smart bb.

- whenever he talks he uses his hands a lot, and slips into Spanish whenever he's not paying much attention

- he calls people nicknames in Spanish too. (Hermano, amigo, ese, etc etc)

- as much as he puts up a cocky and arrogant persona he is a family boy and is nostalgic and homesick 24/7

- he's always kind of flirting with everyone but as soon as he's in a relationship he's 1000% committed and respectful and if he sees anyone in an unhealthy relationship he immediately goes !!!!!!!! and helps them out

- he's the # 1 friend and also an amazing cook. (he learned bc he shares a dorm with hunk)

- he has spontaneous karaoke sessions with anyone who's willing to join in, and is wickedly good at the bottle flipping trick

- he's shockingly anxious and depressed and the only people who can help him are Hunk and Keith. (mostly Keith)

- Repressed Gay Thoughts™ is his middle name

- he saw Keith for the first time and immediately developed a crush and he doesn't really know how to deal with that. that's why he's always kind of hostile and subconsciously trying to get Keith's attention

- he lives in an apartment off campus with Hunk and Pidge

- his clothes always smell like his lavender laundry detergent

- he's very disorganized

- "creative minds almost always have a messy workspace!!"

- curses a lot

- says he's chill

- is probably the least chill person on planet earth

- his phone never dies somehow

- he is carrying gum with him 24/7 and if you ask him for a piece he'll probably just give you the entire pack

- steals hunks sweaters

- his favorite song is jar of hearts

- Shakira hips

- annoyingly talented at everything

- art? amazing. singing? he's a god. dancing? no problemo, he can move his body in a way that is both fun and chill

- perfect teeth, that fucker

- always talking about his mama and he makes calls to her every night and sends her gifts each semester

Pidge

- definitely the person to wear jackets and have pins on their backpack

- they kind of give everyone the side eye. it's not meant to be mean, it's just their face??

- they read in the middle of class, but somehow take notes at the same time?? and also turn every paper in three days early and more than 2 pages longer than necessary?? all of their visual projects are super organized, and they have color coded binders, and have never lost a pen or pencil in their life

- they probably haven't gotten anything below an A since third grade

- though they look like they do it naturally, they actually try really hard and study every night

- they have mental breakdowns like 8 times a month

- probably hasn’t slept in like 7 years which is why they’re so dependant on coffee. 

- “give me, the bean juice.”

- no, but actually they never sleep and keith or hunk will wake up at 4 am and pidge is just, awake, in the kitchen, on their computer. what are they doing? reading fanfiction? watching old vines? hacking government databases?? literally, nobody knows. 

- majoring in computer engineering.

- skipped seventh grade and still graduated early

- they don't hang out with many people, but they're super funny and fiercely protective

- they've always had a bit of trouble with gender identity, but they've learned to love and accept themselves

- Pidges' wardrobe switches between dresses and button downs and everything in between. and they rock all. of. it.

- they're super confident in themselves and not afraid to speak their mind but also just a polite and quiet person who tends to keep to themselves

- they have this really cool denim jacket with lots of pins and buttons and rips and it's just overall really cool and they wear it all the time and it has quickly become their signature item of clothing, much like Lances jacket

- they are closest to Hunk because he's the first person who knew about their gender fluid identity

- they used to have long hair but then they cut it short soon after they moved into the college dorm

- literally the biggest asexual in the world they’ll fight you on it.

- owns a sweater that says “space ace” in big letters. 

- they live in an apartment off campus with Lance and Hunk

- matt goes to a different school which, thank god, because he and pidge are the ultimate team. they both never sleep, hardly remember to eat, and can take over the world with a laptop. they know the best pranks, tell the best jokes, and the existential humor is unbearable between the two of them. if they’re ever in the same room together, get ready. 

- steals hunks sweaters most often

- loves. aliens.

- has earbuds in like 24/7 don't talk to them if they do

- youngest of the group

- they act like they hate life and they think the future is going to be really bad but in reality they get super excited over every little thing and they have so many plans for when they get out of college.

- straight teeth (except for one in the back of their mouth that they never bothered to get fixed) their teeth are a little discolored though because they've been drinking so much coffee for so long

- leader of the college Computer Nerd clique

- likes to show people how much they know

- huge nerd like oh my so big

- participated in a dungeons and dragons tournament

- won easily

- once went 96 consecutive hours without sleeping to study for a final

- slept like the dead for two days straight

- doesn't drink ever

Coran

- that quirky English teacher that everyone lowkey loves

- all of his students have his phone number

- he always extends the due dates on projects

- he looks like he's goofy and doesn't know what he's doing but in reality he is the most perceptive and intelligent teacher in the entire school

- he talks about books in ways you'll both be fascinated by and also easily understand

- he makes those profound statements that you kind of always hang onto and you remember them at weird times and strange things remind you of them

- like you'll be watching a scary movie with your kid at age 40 and you'll remember some weird saying he always had about how life is like a haunted house or some shit

- he's just that cool teacher that always makes finger guns and bad puns a and kinds disregards school policies 24/7 but you have never learned more in any class ever

- he wears glasses with big frames

- funny European accent that nobody can really place

- is the best and knows he's the best

- buys his students coffee on his way to school

- literally gives 0 fucks about rules like sure you can eat you can text you can work in groups as long as you're passing my class I don't care

- never cheat on his tests. you'll sing in front of the class.

Allura

- that person that's just really hard to place.

- like one day you'll find her making out with Shiro behind the science building and the next day she's studying for a med exam in a coffee shop.

- she's on the soccer team or something and she gets really intense and she's the best player on the field and leaves every game sweaty and muddy and smiling.

- but she also is the most comforting and kind person who would never hurt a fly.

- there's like that rumor going around that she's a black belt in karate (and it's definitely true) but then she'll tell you that she's been a dancer since she was four and was asked to go to the Olympics for gymnastics but she turned it down for an education.

- she probably buys all of her clothes at thrift shops

- she’ll probably rule the world one day and nobody will be surprised. 

- she has a lot of money and she donates it to charities and spends every free Saturday morning at the homeless shelter or studying

- Saturday night she's in wicked black eyeliner and combat boots chugging an entire bottle of vodka just because someone said she couldn't

- she'd probably slap you with her perfectly manicured hand if you tell her that girls are weak

- clothing switches between killer dresses and leggings and big sweaters

- this cool silver hair that she's always had

- both of her parents are from India, but she was born in America

- huge social justice warrior

- feminist af

- doesn't take any shit

- studies a lot

- writes down all of her notes into a notebook, and the copies it onto note cards, and then studies the note cards

- speaks like, 7 languages including (but not limited to) french german spanish italian and hindi

- double majoring in liberal arts and psychology and regretting every second of it. 

- she’s going to go back to school after she graduates. she’ll wait though. she’s taking her time. wants more than anything to figure herself out. 

- has a really hard time admitting her mistakes. she beats herself up about a lot of things, and she holds herself to an almost unreachable standard, but her friends are there to make sure she doesn’t work herself to death.

Keith

- that kid that has a resting bitch face and looks weird and rude and unapproachable

- but he's kind and volunteers on weekends

- he listens to hardcore punk music and he tells himself he's intimidating

- but he'll find himself dancing to the Beatles or Elvis in his underwear at 3 am

- he never really understood relationships bc he grew up without any parents to explain love to him

- he sees Lance and feels all happy and bubbly and he's never felt this before so he gets sassy and snarky all the while subconsciously becoming great friends with him

- Keith wears ripped skinny jeans in hundred degree heat and tends to put his hair up in a bun

- even though he says he doesn't worry about what other people think he once wore nothing but yellow for a month bc someone said that it was a nice color on him (he wore it in small ways like a hat or a pin)

- Keith doesn't have many friends and doesn't really talk to people because he's a shy little ball of angst and anxiety

- he has a great laugh and will always try to make you happy if you're sad

- he's just a sweet and bubbly little kid who tries to act all punk rock and intimidating

- he probably wears a lot of flannels and those small little leather bracelets

- he's had his ears pierced forever but only started wearing earrings as a junior

- he talks to all of the lower class men and shows them where their classes are

- he lives in his own little flat on campus. he couldn't room with anyone else because his anxiety was too bad, but it's fine, he's always liked living on his own

- he has a nice little job working at a successful coffee shop downtown. (their most constant customer is Lance)

- studies a lot

- likes to look at stars, but has a real affinity towards history

- drinks a ton of coffee and tea, but would rather jump through fire than drink hot chocolate

- vanilla guy

- doesn't really like animals, unless they're super tiny dogs

- writes poetry and it's scary good

- he's a very good listener

- he tries to give hunk his sweaters back

- coNsPiRAcY tHeOriEs

- his life goal is to prove the multiverse theory

- a sad, starving history major

- no matter how many hours he works he always spends all of his money on paints and pencils

- only survives on meals from his friends

- has sleepovers w lance (in different beds because lance is a ball of repression)

- they always have fun and there's this rumor that they're dating in secret and he goes to Keith's house to like make out or smthn and once lance came home with a bruise on his chin and everybody thought it was a hickey but really keith just threw a monopoly piece at his face.

- *something minorly inconvenient happens* “wow god why don’t you just kill me already.”

- speaks in vines.

- “kiss me” “what?” “well man I like getting KISSED when I'm FUCKED”

- great at ping pong somehow

- speaks japanese

- insomnia is a bitch but when he does sleep you’d probably have to literally stab him to wake him up. 

- doesn't talk to many people in person but is literally facetiming lance and texting shiro 24/7

- hates. apples.

- will never in 3000 years eat one

Hunk

- such a warm guy

- he's always kind of under appreciated and people don't talk about him as much as they should

- he doesn't mind, he just loves being there for his friends

- super duper smart

- he's been friends with Lance since forever

- born in Hawaii but moved to the 48 states when he was 4

- loves. swimming.

- he's the mom friend

- he wears all of the jumpers and hoodies and is always super kind and lends them to his friends but they never give them back

- that's ok, he secretly gets really happy when he sees someone wearing his clothes

- he's a big guy who everybody loves and would protect at all costs

- blushes a lot. like. a lot

- super great cook!! nobody knows how or why, but he's The Best™

- always has on fancy shoes

- he gives the gREATEST HUGS IN THE UNIVERSE

- he always smells like cologne. but it's not the very strong cologne just a wonderful little scent

- he can find the most constellations

- surprisingly athletic for his size

- he cried during big hero six

- binge watches everything on Netflix

- has a mischievous streak

- seriously super duper smart like he could've gotten into any school ever but came to this college to save money.

- meticulously organized

- he's really into healthy eating but he's definitely been known to indulge once in a while

- culinary arts major. he was originally in the biomedical field freshman year but he realized his dream was to open a restaurant so he took a chance a switched majors.

- always the friend that quietly pays the bill before anybody even notices

- works at the shelter and is the best at caring for the animals and finding them homes

- even though he's the nicest he's also done with your shit 24/7

- most of the time he's nice but when he's tired from a long night he's unconsciously the snarkiest and most sarcastic piece of shit but he never remembers it when he wakes up more

[themadlostgirl]

Not Dead Yet (Part 20)

*What am I even doing that I have this much free time? Even then I’m not sure it’s enough.*

Pairing: Reader x Peter Pan

Warning: language

A few more days went by of Peter and I trapped in the Enchanted Forest. We made the best of it. Had some laughs, only tried to kill each other a handful of times, terrorized a town or two, basic things you do when you’re trying to find a magic bean or realm jumper. You would think for a land filled with magic there would be some more of these things!

“Y/N!” Peter burst into the inn room we had rented.

“What do you look so giddy about?” I set the book I was reading down. “Did you find a way back home?”

“No, but I do have a pretty nice surprise waiting outside.”

I followed him out of the room with a shrug. He pulled me along to the side of the inn to the stables. “Say hello to our recently commandeered horses.”

“Oh…”

“Something wrong? I would have thought you’d be happy. When we leave this village we can ride them instead of walking. We’ll get around faster and our feet won’t hurt so much.”

“I know, it’s smart and all it’s just, I’ve never ridden a horse before.” I pet the muzzle of the black and white horse next to me.

“It’s not hard.” he opened the stall and saddled the horse up with ease before leading it out. “Put your one foot in the stirrup there, pull yourself up, swing your leg across and adjust yourself accordingly from there.”

“You seem to know a lot. Drawing, horse riding, just full of surprises recently aren’t ya?”

“Something you seem to forget is that I am indeed a lot older than I look. Is it such a surprise I do know such skills?”

“How old are you exactly?”

He shrugged. “Lost count a couple decades ago.”

“Give me a reasonable guess.”

“I don’t know, maybe three hundred.”

“Three hundred!”

“Look good don’t I?”

“Three hundred years old and you still act like a teenage prat.” I put my foot in the stirrup and tried in vain to pull myself up. This was trickier than I thought.

“Here,” Peter knelt down indicating for me to use his knee as a step, “It’s not like age really affects me. I’ve just always been young, I’ve never had any conventional responsibilities or jobs. The years just go by in a blur and I’m stuck just the same as I was a decade ago. You should know, how old are you now?”

“I’m uh…” I did some quick calculations in my head, “Oh wow, I should be nearing my thirties shouldn’t I?”

“And do you feel any more mature or sagely from when you first came to Neverland?”

“I suppose not.”

“Exactly. That’s my entire life. Just years of the same youthful bliss.” he sighed content.

I was now upright in the saddle a little apprehensive about what to do now. “Don’t look so lost.” Peter had saddled up the other horse, “Let’s get you used to it.” He took the reins from me and led the horses, with me on one, out of the stables.

We walked back out to this dale a little ways from the village. After I had gotten used to being in the saddle Peter got on his and we trotted along the open valley. On a horse Peter was even more in his element. Just that smiling expression as he raced through across the landscape made wanting to return to Neverland harder.

“Y’know,” I pulled up alongside him, “I’m gonna miss doing stuff like this when we get back home.”

“Me too. I haven’t felt this free in a long time.”

“How’s that?”

“Wind in my hair, ground rushing under me, speeding toward that horizon wondering if I’ll ever reach the crest...it’s a feeling you can’t recreate. You’re just racing along and you feel like...like…”

“Like you’re flying.” I finished. “Something tells me you used to fly a lot when you were younger.”

“Oh you couldn’t keep me on the ground.” he laughed. “But that was a long time ago…” his face darkened, “There’s barely any pixie dust left, I have to use it sparingly nowadays.”

Our good time was quickly turning south. “Hey, race you to the village?”

He gave me a half-hearted smirk, “You know you stand no chance.”

“Which is why you can’t resist.” I reaffirmed my grip in the reins, “So?”

He let out a small snort. “I’ll even give you a five second head-start.”

“H’yah!” I kicked the horse’s flank and we took off across the dale. Even with my head start Peter overtook me with ease. When we got back to the village we settled back in the inn for some dinner and plans to leave for the next town in the morning.

This time the room we shared had two beds so we didn’t need to cram into one like before which was a relief. Whilst trying to fall asleep I kept thinking back to earlier when Peter and I were riding horses. I meant it when I said I was going to miss doing stuff like that. There was much to be had on Neverland with the all the boys but there were little adventures like this you couldn’t recreate in a jungle, even if it was the land of make believe.

Perhaps when we got back home and things returned to normal I could convince Peter to take some time away from Neverland. We could go riding again. Do the things we couldn’t do on Neverland. In the morning Peter and I left the village on our borrowed horses. According to the villagers the next town was almost half a day's ride from here, two days on foot. Joy.

We were passing the time in any way we can. At first we had tried playing ‘I spy’ but that died as soon as it started. Now we were asking ‘would you rather’ questions. Started out simple enough then things got weird.

“Okay, I got one.” I thought of a new one, “Would you rather be constantly itchy or constantly sticky?”

“Sticky.”

“Yeah, I get that. Your turn.”

“Would you rather have sex with someone sickeningly ugly or a beautiful, fresh corpse?”

“Peter!”

“Answer the question!”

“Hm? So basically would I rather have sex with a corpse or you?” I joked and he let out a short laugh. “In all honesty I would rather have sex with a living person. Necrophilia is a taboo that shall remain just that.”

“I’m flattered.”

“Why are you flattered?”

“You said me or a corpse--”

“Shut up.” I smirked back at him. As I was thinking of what to ask for my turn a question came to my mind that made me laugh.

“What? The thought of sleeping with me really that amusing?”

“No, well yes, but that’s not what I was laughing at. I was going to ask would you rather know when you’re going to die or meet it blissfully unaware.”

“Ass.” he muttered. “What about you? Would you want to know when you’re going to die?”

I shook my head. “I’ve had too many near death experiences. When I die I would rather go into it without knowing it was the end.”

“If you die.” Peter said.

“I’m not immortal. I am gonna die one day.”

“Not yet though.” we continued riding down the trail when someone ran out in front of us.

“Whoa!” I pulled back on the reins so I didn’t trample the idiot. “Watch it! Trying to get yourself killed?”

“Shut your trap you--” the boy stopped and my jaw dropped. “Y/N?”

“Devin!” I dismounted my horse and ran up to hug him. “Oh my god, how are you here? Why are you here? I’m so happy to see you!”

“Well when you and Pan disappeared everyone started getting antsy. Couple days passed by and we decided to go looking for you.” Devin answered. By this time Peter had dismounted too and was standing next to me listening to Devin. “Sorry to say but we had to have Felix loot the magic beans so we could head out. We’ve been to as many realms as we could think of for three days looking for you guys.”

“Does that mean you have a bean to get us home?” Peter asked.

“Of course.” Devin handed him the sack at his belt. Inside was a pile of sparkling beans.

“You did well.” Peter patted his shoulder. “Now how about we go home?”

“What about the horses?” I looked back at them.

“This is a well traveled trail, someone will find them. Do you really want to waste another moment here?”

“No. Let’s go home.” When Peter dropped the bean on the ground I felt bittersweet about our return. I was overjoyed to see Devin and glad to have a way back home but just one more day riding horses and stealing food from the town vendors would have been nice.

The portal opened up and the three of us stepped through finally on our way back home. The swirling tunnel we fell through ended and we were back in the familiar humidity of the jungle. I hadn’t realized how bundled up I was and shrugged off the cloak I was wearing. Peter immediately called his shadow and sent it off to find the Lost Boys in the other realms and order them back. In the meantime Devin and I rushed back to camp. The boys left behind were glad to see we were safe and sound.

I saw Felix on the sidelines and the look he sent me was chilling. Last time I saw him he had left me at the top of a cliff to await my inevitable death. Now I was waltzing back into camp alive as ever with his leader and best friend at my hip. I think it hit me then exactly how much had changed in the short time Peter and I were gone.

To the boys it was just a week without either of us. Nothing had changed for them. They had no idea about anything. No one knew that Peter was dying. That our entire life on this island was as limited as his. No one knew Peter’s past, how he ended up here. I don’t even think Felix knows the whole truth or if he knows that Peter is dying. Knowing Peter he probably wouldn’t have mentioned this to anyone, not even Felix. I am now the one who knows Peter Pan the most. That was a scary, yet elating, thought.

One by one the missing Lost Boys returned and a celebration began in honor of our safe return. I cut at the dress I was wearing so my legs were free to move without being cumbersome. Many of the boys came up asking for what happened and where we had gone. I gave a slightly altered version of Peter and I’s misadventures back in the Enchanted Forest. Mainly that we had accidentally dropped a bean and fallen through the portal to the Enchanted Forest. With no way back we wandered around the land looking for someone home when Devin stumbled across us. Peter made no move to correct me during the telling. It was better the boys think us getting stuck in the other realm was an accident and not me trying to run away and Peter following after me.

Speaking of which. I looked across the camp where Peter stood with Felix. What looked like a spirited conversation was quickly turning into a heated argument. Felix pointed an accusing finger in my direction and made eye contact with me. Peter smacked his arm down and was stressing through clenched teeth in an effort to stay calm.

Felix stormed off into the jungle. Peter looked back at me before leaving in the other direction.

“Y/N? Y/N!” Ben was trying to get my attention. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” I assured him, “I need to take care of something, be right back.”

I rushed out into the jungle. When I didn’t catch up with Peter immediately I knew there was one place he had to have gone. Following the faint melody dancing through the trees I found Peter’s Thinking Tree. I climbed up until I could see Peter sitting in the boughs.

“Haven’t we spent enough time together?” he snarled down at me.

“I saw things with Felix. What’d you tell him?”

“The truth, what else? Can’t exactly lie to him like the others.” I pulled myself up so I was sitting on the same branch as him. He didn’t look my way but I could see the distaste.

“He’s pissed I’m back, isn’t he?”

“Felix is my most trusted friend, loyal to a tee. Then you come along and break the one rule we have and upset the balance of the island. Of course he’s pissed.” he twisted his dagger round in his hand. “Trying to explain why I brought you back without actually divulging anything that happened is frustrating to say the least.”

I swung my feet aimlessly back and forth the question I was scared to ask resting on my tongue. “Are you wishing you left me back in the other realm yet?”

“Not yet.”

I sighed and started to climb back down. I made it more than half way before Peter called after me. “Wait.” he jumped down to my level, apprehension in his eyes. “Remember what we agreed?”

“What happens in the forest stays in the forest. I know.” I nodded.

“That means everything.”

“I understand.” He continued to stare at me until it got uncomfortable. “Was there something else you wanted to tell me or do you just delight in my unease?”

“Why yes I do. Your anguish sustains me.” he gave me crooked grin, “Which is why back in the forest I lied to you. I just wanted to see you get angry. Helps pass the boredom.”

“What’d you lie to me about?” I swear if turned out everything he had told me that first night was a lie I was going to slit his neck here and now and not give one damn if I died with him and the island.

“Fish head.” The silence pervading between us grew stagnant. Just when I thought he wouldn’t say anything he had to speak the two words that would have meant nothing to anyone else.

“I guess that makes us both liars.” I mumbled back.

His eyes widened and I swallowed my tongue. Without another word I maneuvered back down the tree stumbling a bit in my haste. When I reached the ground I took off back for camp the wind the only thing keeping my burning face cool. I didn’t think I’d miss the Enchanted Forest already.

(First) (Previous) (Next)

[delta-roseblr]

30 Day OC Challenge: Day 28

Today’s prompt is through a lover’s eyes.

For this I thought I would touch on Day 16′s story from Felix’ POV. This is before Dean and Felix start dating but I thought it was interesting all the same.

Warning for language (there is a lot of cursing)

Felix had stormed the fuck out of dinner because apparently, he was a sixteen-year-old girl now. But really it was his fucking dad’s fault, they are sitting there eating dinner when his dad just starting going off about how they should talk. Fuck that! What was wrong with eating in relative fucking silence like they had the last sixteen years of Felix’s fucking life? He was not going to sit there so he dad could try to have some sort of fucking bonding moment, no thank you.

At least his dad didn’t have the nerve to try to follow him, he let Felix storm off and lock himself in his room. Back in Vermont, Felix would have left the house, but that was when he had a car. Now he had no car, no real friends, no damned escape, and nothing to fucking do.

First, Felix had the bright idea to get online and see what his friends from Vermont were up to. Huge fucking mistake. Turns out his ex-girlfriend was now dating one of his former teammates which was utter bullshit because that guy was a complete dick but whatever he hoped they were happy. Either way, that discovery pretty much killed his interest in social media for the foreseeable future.

He tried playing video games but was just too annoyed so he kept dying which just made him more annoyed. Then he tried watching television but that was even worse, trying to sit there and just watch something just made him feel antsy.

Felix even considered reading something but wasn’t in the mood. He was never a big reader, but back home he always had things going on between soccer in the winter, lacrosse in the spring, and just socializing he never really made time. The only reason he had even picked up a few books was because of the people he had met since he moved, mainly Dean.

If there was one good thing about moving to Tennessee it was meeting Dean Solace. The guy was probably the coolest person Felix had ever met. Dean wasn’t like any of the friends Felix had back in Vermont, in that he didn’t seem to give a damn about the things most people deemed important in high school.

Back home, none of Felix’ friends would have given the new kid the time of day until it was determined if they met some weird criteria that meant they were cool but Dean had been nice to Felix immediately. He seemed like he should have been one of the social elite but Dean just seemed to do his own thing without much thought to his social status. Plus, the dude was fucking smart, like to an intimidating extent.

Felix didn’t really get why Dean seemed to be friendly to him right off the bat, but he had been extremely grateful. If it wasn’t for Dean Felix doubted he would have made the soccer team which would have been the worst possible thing to happen. He was no longer the center forward but he was on the fucking team.

During spring tryouts, they had actually gotten along well. They liked a lot of the same stuff and shared the same sense of humor. Felix was genuinely shocked, and half convinced that Dean was going to realize he was a fucking idiot so he had got a few books he had seen Dean reading frequently (the guy seriously always had like three books with him) just in case. Because apparently Felix was expecting a fucking test or something.

As he completely ran out of things to do he considered calling Dean, the guy had given him his number after all. He didn’t want to come across like a loser who was trying too fucking hard or even just the loser that didn’t have anything better to do (even if that was true). He debated it for maybe a minute before deciding fuck it, because he really didn’t have anything to lose.

Instead of calling, because that just seemed desperate, he sent a text.

To Dean: I might literally be bored out of my god-damned mind.

He didn’t get an immediate response, which of course he didn’t. It wasn’t like Felix was watching his phone or something but he felt like a fucking idiot. Dean was a cool guy, he was probably out with friends or like his girlfriend or something. Actually, Felix didn’t know if Dean had a girlfriend but he couldn’t see a reason why he wouldn’t. And it wasn’t like it mattered to Felix if the guy had a girlfriend or not and he definitely hadn’t spent time thinking about it.

Dean’s reply came maybe five minutes later, or at least that was what the clock said, Felix would have sworn it had been at least fifteen.

From Dean: Bored enough to hang out?

To Dean: Fuck yeah! Wish I had a fucking car.

Felix had typed out the reply and hit the send button before really thinking it out. Too late he realized he should have at least waited a few minutes before replying so he didn’t seem desperate. Why had moving to Tennessee turned him into a fucking dork, he wondered frustratedly.

Felix tried to think of something that he could add that would make himself seem even mildly less pathetic but couldn’t really think of anything that wouldn’t just make it worse. Of course, as time stretched out and he got no reply Felix wondered if it was actually possible to make things worse.

Busying himself became even hard than it had been before, as he contemplated just how fucked his social life now was. At some point, he heard his dad move passed his room on his way down the stairs and out the door. Who the fuck knew where he was going, and at least in Felix’ opinion it was a real show of how little his father actually gave a damn about being an available parent, he couldn’t even bother to tell Felix he was leaving.

The sounds of his father’s car pulling out of the driveway was followed by the distinctive but unexpected sound of his cell phone issuing an alert. He looked to see a new text from Dean:

From Dean: Your dad would be cool with you going where ever at this time of night?

The question was almost funny considering its timing. With anyone else, Felix would have worried it was somehow mocking but that just didn’t seem like Dean’s style. Felix typed out a quick reply keeping it vague, he didn’t really want to tell people about his shitty home life.

To Dean: He would have to be home to notice.

From Dean: Cool, ‘cause I may be outside

Felix read the text at least half a dozen times before really processing the words. He knew that Dean knew where he lived, he had given him a ride a few times from soccer tryouts but he would have never in a million years thought Dean would show up. Felix hadn’t heard a car pull in, and a peek out his bedroom window showed that the driveway was still empty. His room did have a pretty shitty view of the street so Felix figured he should at least peek his head out and check before he disregarded the text as some sort of joke.  

He cut through the garage to take a look out the window because the seemed it little less desperate than actually going outside. Sure enough, he saw Dean’s ancient Honda parked by the curb of his house.

Felix didn’t pay the millions of questions that wanted to run through his mind, mainly centering around why a guy as cool as Dean would legitimately want to hang out with him, much thought. He threw on the first pair of shoes he could find and rushed out the garage’s side door.

He came at the car from behind which he really didn’t think about until he knocked on the window and caused Dean to visible jump with surprise. The shock appeared to wear off quickly as Dean rolled down the passenger window.

“Dude, you just scared the shit out of me!” Dean exclaimed not seeming all that bothered, at least he was wearing an easy smile. That was another thing that was great about Dean, nothing ever seemed to genuinely bother he just had this chill personality. Felix found it almost contagious, being around Dean made him want to not get so worked up about things.

“Sorry,” Felix apologized as he leaned down and rested his elbows on the car’s passenger door. Dean was obviously sitting in the driver’s seat, how he fit behind the steering wheel in the tiny car Felix didn’t really understand. He was the first guy Felix had met that was taller than him and Felix didn’t feel bothered by that. Dean still looked ridiculous in such a small car, or he should have. Felix didn’t think Dean couldn’t look anything but good which seemed whole unfair. Dean could have been in magazines or movies as the California surfer dude that all the girls were after or maybe the hot soccer player selling the high-end soccer gear. The only thing that stopped Dean from being an unapproachable kind attractive was the light spray of freckles that ran across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose.

Why did people think freckles were unattractive? Dean’s freckles were light enough that that just seemed to highlight his strong cheekbones and deep blue eyes, it didn’t detract from Dean’s good looks. Not that Felix found Dean attractive because that would be fucking weird, he just was aware that he was good looking because he was competition (Yes, that was totally it).

“You are my absolute favorite person right now,” Felix admitted not caring if he came across a bit desperate at this time.

“I can’t say my motives are at least partially selfish,” Dean stated with a shrug. And there Dean went adding a layer of mystery to himself like he really needed that added appeal. Not that Felix found Dean appealing it was just…. The dude had layers, there were a lot of things Felix didn’t know about the guy that’s all.

“Do you want to hang out?” Dean questioned sounding uncertain about it.

Felix thought he had been pretty clear about being up to hang out was surprised that it was even still a question. “Yeah.”

“Then get in already,” Dean declared with a wide smile as he waved his hand at Felix to get in. Felix didn’t question it or even give much thought to how pissed his dad would be when he got home and Felix was gone, he just climbed into the passenger seat.