#thread. celine lowell.

[svndowning]

𐐪 a closed starter for @strongxsurvivors featuring celine lowell.

“you love me too much. i know how that sounds but— fucking hell. you shouldn’t care that much about someone like me.”

[svndowning]

at first, celine wasn’t entirely sure if she had heard the other correctly, the words replaying in her head like a broken record. her mouth fell agape as stared down at marcus, mind briefly taking note of how cute (for lack of a better descriptor) he looked on his knees. despite all the offers that had been thrown her way over the years, none ever sounded as enticing or as genuine as his. “i would never ask you to do something like that for me, but your dedication is duly noted.” a smirk curled onto her lips, deciding to take the route of faux confidence. “you should be careful when it comes to making offers like that, marcus. there are women out there far more selfish than i am that would take advantage of an offer like that.” she couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and pushing his hair out of his face. “i, on the other hand, am not worth all that.”

closed starter for @drnkdazed // ft. celine lowell and marcus jost, a dogmatic and stressed assistant.

"i’d cut my heart out and place it in your hands if it would prove my devotion to you." it was late and the two of them were the only ones left in the quiet office. he'd knelt on the ground to pick up some fallen papers, eyes looking up at the other through his lashes. he's always admired celine, gave everything for her. she was the most powerful, most beautiful woman he'd ever met -- how could he not want to give her everything? she was leagues above him and he could only wish that she could continue to find some use out of him.

[svndowning]

as much as celine found her envisioned that very mentioned day, she wasn’t entirely sure what she would do once she was fully in control. her entire life had been dictated by others and she would’ve been lying if she said that it didn’t at least take some pressure off of her. “i can’t even imagine how i will feel once that day finally comes…” her words trailed off, reflecting the thoughts that ran through her head. while she didn’t necessarily think that she was worth zehra settling for, the other woman’s words brought a sad smile to her lips. “of course, it gives me something to look forward to, but i don’t want to possibly keep you away from something more fulfilling.” she confessed, her features softening slightly as she stared into zehra’s eyes. “i’ve never been in a relationship with someone i genuinely been in love with, but you would be the first. that alone is worth holding out for, but i feel awful asking you to hold out for me in return. what if in the end, it’s not all you’ve hoped for?”

a slow breath left zehra as her shoulders fell slightly. “it’s because you are all of those things that you’ve allowed yourself to be so used. gold does not dictate who pulls it from the ground and how it’s molded, celine. soon, you will have all the power over your life. soon, you will be free,” she insisted. and, while it hurt knowing that she would have to share the woman with another who didn’t deserve her in the slightest, zehra was willing to try anything for celine. she was in love, and that was something she thought was impossible for her. “if i must settle for half, i will gladly take it. i will wait patiently for the day that you are fully allowed to be yourself, and it will be like the very first day i met you – falling in love all over again. it gives me something to look forward to. doesn’t it do the same for you? can you hold out for me?”

[svndowning]

any amount of love would’ve been too much for celine. from being constantly belittled by her father to being trapped in a marriage to a man out of convenience and power, every major figure in her life made her feel unlovable. that’s why she had been so quick to cling to zehra initially, quickly uncovering what an amazing well-rounded individual the other was. she inhaled sharply as she ran her fingers through her hair, “if i was all of those things why do i allow everyone in my life to walk all over me? instead, i remain a background character in my own life while pretending that i’m in control.” her agitation and frustration were evident in her voice. “i so desperately want to be cared for by you… but i also don’t think it’s fair. i can only ever give you half of me.” that was until her husband finally passed, an unavoidable fate shortly but still one that required a wait nonetheless.

"too much?" zehra repeated, not wanting to believe what she was hearing. "what do you mean someone like you? someone who is beautiful? smart? suffering? you're not the scum of the earth, celine, so don't act like you are," she protested, hands taking the woman's into her own. "just because he doesn't give a shit about you doesn't mean everyone else has to."