#thoughts and prayers for the next chapter haha ha.

[bidonica]

Me: I love this part of the map!

This part of the map:

(Previous adventures in pizza delivery: a Death Stranding playthrough blog)

Speaking of, today I went on a light hike with my father who's the actual mountaineer in the family and completely unprompted he asked me to explain Death Stranding to him. I am becoming afraid of my own influencing powers

Incredible insights about Neanderthals from acclaimed director Nicolas Winding Refn

Man it feels good to do these missions... look at the breathtaking scenery

What the FUCK

"If it's not too late" well it is! The Mountaineer is an npc I'm fond of but I wish he had better timing (btw it's ironic that Die Hardman warns you that preppers in the mountain area might be hard to convince to join the UCA while they're generally very nice and eager to enter the network)

Oh wow well

I guess I'll ignore that and the lightning and the loud cracks and go do other allegedly story-advancing missions. This is productive procrastination

Like this rookie porter needed saving (and for some reason was nearly impossible to find despite being a darker silhouette on a white background... first time I had to look up the solution to something in this game I kid you not) (yes I had skipped this one in my first playthrough) (I'm realizing I cut A LOT of corners the first time around)

A still untested hot spring?!? NOT on MY watch

Oh, so unlike Mama and the Chiral Artist this guy doesn't join you for a health restoring bath? Mh. I wonder why

Me: Deadman, you better not be in a chiral vortex when I get there to retrieve my beloved BB

Deadman:

The FUCK are you saying man (you read this in Norman Reedus' voice)

siiiiigh

[aishangotome]

Elbert Greetia: Chapter 1

The sound of lapping waves fills the quiet room where I pierce a butterfly's back with a needle.

––Another beautiful thing acquired.

I gaze, as if in prayer, at the vivid scales of the butterfly, its wings spread wide within a frame.

With this, surely, the "two of us" can be happy.

Surely, surely––

-

One night and then another has passed since I witnessed a sight I shouldn't have in midnight London.

Though I escaped death by fulfilling my duty as a "Fairytale Keeper," time has passed without any sense of reality, and once again, I find myself in the darkness of night.

––I am about to accompany Crown on a mission for the first time.

-

Roger: Is the inn around the next corner the one in question?

Alfons: According to the information we received beforehand, yes.

Elbert: .......

Roger, Alfons, and Lord Elbert---

I was walking through London, shrouded in night, with my three companions.

Kate: A certain inn is being used as a temporary storage for stolen art... right?

As a "Fairytale Keeper," my role is to closely observe the actions of Crown, who is "cursed," and record their sins.

(I want to fulfill my duties properly, gain their trust, and be released.)

(My heart hasn't caught up yet... but I have to try.)

Roger: Lil lady, don't be so stiff.

Alfons: We're just going to investigate the situation, so there won't be any bloodshed.

... I'm sure of it.

Elbert: ..........

Kate: Thank you for your concern, Roger, Alfons.

(That's right... if my job is to record the sins of the "cursed," I need to know about their "curse.")

Kate: May I ask what kind of "curse" you all have...?

Alfons: Hehe, Miss Robin is quite the eager learner.

Alfons: Lord Elbert is the "Greedy Queen," Roger is the "Betrayer's Huntsman," and I am cursed by the "Mirror."

Kate: Queen, Huntsman, Mirror...

Alfons: Is it fate that those who appear in the same fairy tale should meet?

Roger: Haha. Team Snow White, eh?

Alfons: I find it very unpleasant to be lumped in with you.

Roger: Don't say that. Right, lil lady?

Kate: A-ahaha. Yes...

The two of them speak to me in a friendly manner.

I'm grateful for their kindness, but I can't help but force a smile.

(It's a fact that these people commit sins on a daily basis...)

(No matter what, I'm scared to look them in the eye and talk)

Elbert: ...What's wrong?

Kate: ...Huh?

Elbert: You stopped walking.

Lord Elbert's words made me realize that I had unknowingly created distance between myself and the others.

Except for Lord Elbert, who stopped for me, the other two kept walking ahead.

Elbert: ...Are you alright?

Kate: I'm sorry, I was spacing out...! I was lost in thought.

Elbert: I see. ...Be careful not to get lost.

Just as I was about to start walking again--

Elbert: ....!

A passerby bumped into Elbert.

Drunk Man: Hmm? What's this? A pretty boy, huh?

The man, barely able to stand upright, was clearly drunk.

Elbert: ........

Drunk Man: Let's have a drink, pretty boy. Your treat. Hahahaha!

Elbert: ...I'm sorry. I'm in a hurry.

Drunk Man: Oh? What's this? You wanna get that pretty face messed up?

Elbert was surprisingly unresisting as the drunk man clung to him.

(Something seems rather ominous...should I call Roger and Alfons back?)

Kate: U-Um...!

The next moment, anxiety and questions swirled in my head.

Drunk Man: Ugh...sob...why did you leave me...Eliza...sob...

Kate: ...Huh?

The man who was clinging to Elbert suddenly collapsed on the spot, crying.

(Why all of a sudden...?)

Alfons: What a ridiculous ability, as always.

Alfons, who had somehow turned back, approached Elbert and laughed, looking highly amused.

Kate: A ridiculous ability...you mean, Lord Elbert's?

Alfons: Yes. It awakens the saddest memories of the person whose shadow he steps on.

Alfons: In other words, it makes the person incredibly depressed and downcast.

Roger: The ability works better on people with painful experiences, but the difficulty lies in choosing the right target.

Kate: Downcast...

I stared at the man who still couldn't stand up, just crying on the roadside like a child.

(This is Lord Elbert's power.)

Having just witnessed William's devastating power that could force people to commit suicide, it seemed like a very small power.

But--.

Elbert: ...I'm in a hurry. ...I'm sorry.

Elbert, who had used that seemingly trivial power on the drunk man, looked sad, as if he had committed some cruel sin.

(...That's a bit unexpected.)

(I wonder if the cursed people aren't used to using their powers either.)

Elbert: ...Let's go.

As we passed each other, Elbert's hair gleamed under the streetlights.

I was unconsciously captivated by his golden hair flowing in the night breeze and his melancholic profile.

(...What a beautiful person.)

His beauty was so overwhelming that I momentarily forgot the fear I had for the upcoming mission.

Alfons: Now, it was the alley ahead, wasn't it? The inn we were aiming for.

Elbert: Yes.

It was Roger who tilted his head, looking at the dimly lit alley.

Roger: Something's strange. It should have been a cheap inn with quite a few guests.

Roger: ...There's only one heartbeat.

Kate: A heartbeat...?

Even if I strain my ears, all I can hear is the faint sound of the wind.

Alfons: Exceptional hearing is this man's ability.

Roger: Within a distance of about 100 yards, I can accurately tell who is where without even looking.

Kate: That's amazing... But does that mean there's only one person at the inn?

Roger: Well, that's what it comes down to.

Kate: How could that be...?

Alfons: There's only one way to find out.

As we turned the corner into the alley where the back entrance of the inn was located--

(...!!)

--a gruesome scene unfolded before us.

Several blood-soaked people were lying in the alley.

A vast expanse of blood stretched across the hallway, visible through the open back door of the inn.

Kate: ...Ah--

My instincts were screaming at me to run away.

But my feet were frozen in place, as if glued to the ground.

At that moment--

I was pulled back forcefully, and the blood-stained scene vanished.

Kate: ...!?

My cheek was pressed against a soft, high-quality fabric.

(A blue cravat.)

Kate: Lord Elbert...?

I finally realized Elbert was holding me and tried to look up, but his hand was stronger, restraining my movement.

Elbert: ––You don't need to see.

(Huh...?)

Elbert: ...Sad memories can easily kill you.

Elbert: You don't need to see.

A terribly sad voice whispered in my ear.

Elbert: You...have nothing to do with what's happening here.

Elbert: ...You don't have to carry burdens that you don't need to.

(Elbert...)

His voice was almost like a prayer.

I should be feeling protected by his arms, holding my head tightly, but for some reason, I felt like I was being clung to, and I hesitated to resist.

(Elbert...it's as if he's afraid of something.)

Roger: This is...the inn's employee and a guest.

Alfons: Judging by their clothes, there's no mistake.

As I listened to the two of them surveying the scene, still held in Elbert's embrace--

???: ...Ugh...sob...

(! A voice just now...!)

Roger's words, "There's only one heartbeat," came back to me.

Kate: E-Excuse me...!

Elbert: ....!

I instinctively pushed back against Elbert's chest and looked up.

As I glanced around, I could see a woman collapsed at the corner of the alley, faintly moving.

(It's her...!)

Kate: Are you alright...!?

Roger: She's not dead yet, but she's in danger.

Roger, who had rushed to her before me, frowned and coughed.

Roger: She needs immediate treatment. We need to get her to a nearby hospital--

Roger: .....!

Kate: Roger? What's wrong?

Roger: The police are coming. Two...no, three of them.

(Police...?)

Alfons: Then, there's no point in staying here. Let's get out of here.

(What!? )

Kate: What about this woman--?

Roger: Our mission is confidential. We have no choice but to hide for now.

Seeing his frustrated profile, I knew Roger didn't want this either, and I swallowed my protest.

(But what if the police don't notice her...?)

I quickly took out my handkerchief and hooked it onto the lamp directly above her.

(This shouldn't be enough to identify me. I hope they notice her soon...)

Praying for her safety, I followed the three of them into hiding.

-

After observing from a short distance for a while--

We saw the woman from earlier being quickly taken away by the police who had arrived.

Kate: ...Thank goodness...

(...I hope she's alright.)

Elbert: ..............

-

--That day's investigation had to be cut short, and we returned to the castle.

But I couldn't eat the food brought to my room, nor could I sleep...

To change my mood, I was walking alone in the vast garden.

(Tonight, I only witnessed the aftermath of someone committing a crime.)

(But someday, I might see such a scene created by the hands of Crown.)

(To write about that... Can I do it?)

While thinking about such things, I was walking along the path--

(...Elbert?)

I found Elbert, gazing absentmindedly at the flowers.

Bathed in the faint moonlight like a veil, his figure was like a painting, and I was once again captivated.

Elbert: Hmm...oh...it's you. Good evening.

Kate: Good evening, Lord Elbert...

Elbert seemed to sense something from my face and tilted his head melancholically.

Elbert: ...Can't sleep?

Kate: ...Yes. So I'm taking a walk to change my mood.

Elbert: I see...

Kate: What are you doing here, Lord Elbert?

Elbert: Me too...something like that. I'm a light sleeper by nature.

Kate: I see...

Elbert: So...I can at least keep you company while you can't sleep.

Kate: .......!

His gentle, comforting words eased my mind.

(If it were last night, I might have been wary of this kindness and declined...)

Kate: ...Thank you.

Aware of my fading wariness, I took a step closer to Elbert.

(That's right...I haven't properly thanked him for earlier.)

Kate: Thank you for protecting me earlier.

Elbert: ...No. ...In the end, I showed you a cruel sight.

Kate: I wanted to see it. Don't worry about it.

I tried to sound cheerful, but Elbert looked at me and narrowed his eyes as if in pain.

Elbert: If you hadn't been taken to that place...you wouldn't have tried to see it.

Elbert: You're different from us. ...You shouldn't have come here.

Elbert: ...Sin doesn't suit you.

Elbert's emotions don't show much on the surface. Even so...

In his eyes, like the depths of a deep sea, I could see pure compassion, without a trace of cloudiness.

(You are the one who doesn't suit sin.)

At that time--

Even though there were no knives or bullets pointed at me, and there was no danger to my life, he tried to protect me.

(Surely...so that my heart wouldn't be hurt by the cruel sight.)

(The strength of his arms at that time.)

(It was as if he was afraid of me getting hurt.)

(If he were someone who felt nothing about that scene, he surely wouldn't have done that.)

I realized again the obvious fact that the people of Crown, just like me, feel fear, anxiety, and sadness.

Kate: You're kind, Lord Elbert.

Elbert: ...That's not true.

To value people's feelings. That was my goal in life.

(I chose the job of a mail carrier for that reason.)

(No matter what sins Elbert and the others may commit, I want to understand their feelings and--)

Kate: ...Thank you for your concern.

Kate: But this time, you don't have to protect me.

Elbert: ...Why?

Kate: I may learn many things that I'd be happier not knowing.

Kate: But I want to know...what you all are thinking, as you face those things.

I smiled, wanting to respond to Elbert's kindness in some way--

Elbert: .............

Elbert stared at me without blinking.

(...?)

His gaze was unusually intense, and I suddenly felt uneasy.

(Oh...was it rude of me to say "you don't have to protect me" when he's worried about me?)

His already overwhelming beauty seemed to become even more intimidating when he fell silent, and I unconsciously held my breath.

Kate: Um...

Elbert: ...Stay still.

Suddenly closing the distance between us, Elbert gently stroked my hair.

Elbert: ...There was a flower petal in your hair.

Kate: ...Oh.

Kate: Thank you...

(...I see. He was just looking at the flower petal.)

(That's good...)

Calming my racing heart, I quietly moved away from Elbert.

Kate: Well then, excuse me. I should get some sleep for tomorrow.

Elbert: .........Can you sleep?

Kate: Yes, thanks to you, Lord Elbert.

Elbert: I see...that's good.

Elbert: ...Good night, Kate.

Kate: Good night, Lord Elbert.

(...I wonder why.)

(I can't get Elbert's gaze from earlier out of my head...)

His deep blue eyes were burned into the back of my eyelids.

Even after I turned away, it felt like his gaze was following me from behind--

My chest felt strangely uneasy.

-

The next morning, my steps towards the dining hall were lighter than yesterday.

Kate: Good morning.

William: Good morning. ...You look well this morning.

Roger: See? She came, didn't she?

Alfons: I guess I lost the bet.

Kate: W-Were you betting on that...?

Alfons: Yes. I bet that you would be tearing up curtains and tying them together to escape through the window by now.

(He thought I'd be escaping...)

Liam: This morning, we have Victor's special extra buttery scones! Kate, are you hungry?

Kate: Yes! I missed dinner yesterday, so I'm starving.

Alfons: Hehe, you're surprisingly resilient.

(I'm still a little nervous...but I think I can manage.)

This morning, after deciding to face their feelings, I was able to look at everyone's faces more directly than yesterday.

As I started eating, talking with everyone, Elbert stared at me intently.

Elbert: ...Al, is she beautiful?

Alfons: No, not at all?

Elbert: ..............Is that so?

Alfons: ...........

Alfons: This could be a bit...troublesome.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 2

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[myownwholewildworld]

wherever you go (a joel miller’s ff) - chapter 5 snippet

chapter 1: lifeless chapter 2: too far gone chapter 3: a sight to see chapter 4: headlights

pairing: outbreak!2003!joel x f!reader.

a/n: hiya! i thought i'd leave here a sneak peek of the next chapter, "lighthouse" 👀 let me tell you, there was a lot to unpack on this one, because the w/c has reached the 6.3k mark. i would apologise, but i won't lmao. expect a lot of smut because i do not know any better haha i'm debating whether to post this on tuesday or wednesday, what do you guys think would be best? it's all written up, so just waiting a few days so you don't get too tired of this fic lol. i'd lie if i told you i haven't started writing chapter 6 already 🤠 somebody please stop me. ANYHOO, hope you enjoy! <3

warnings (not all as to not spoil anything): 18+, mdni. internal and verbal discussions of feelings, trauma and past relationships. some jealousy (if you squint very hard). again, absolutely filthy smut because i don’t know any better (sorry not sorry). oral (f and m receiving). soft!dom!joel. and many more that i won't give out just yet :D

“Are you sure you wanna do this, sweetheart?”, he asked, you could hear the uncertainty in his voice. You nodded vehemently. “Yes, please, Joel, I really need to feel you, to have you fuck me senseless”, you emphasized, short-breathed. He seemed to consider your words for longer than what was acceptable. You saw his eyes flying between yours and your lips. “Please?”, you begged. Your prayers might have been heard, because he leaned forward, brushing your mouth with his. “Then go down on your knees, darlin’”, he whispered against your lips. You silently gasped as your clit pulsed at his words. You were delighted to follow his command, and so you kneeled compliantly. When your knees touched the grass, his cock was at eye level. You couldn’t help but marvel at the sight. His dick was as big as you remembered, the memory of it filling you up still haunted you. It was so erected now that the tip touched his belly button. Joel looked so strained you thought he had to be in pain. And you were more than willing to help him alleviate it. You moved your hand forward, but before you could try to wrap your fingers around him, Joel stopped you. “No, with your mouth”, was his order.

[hikennosabo]

trimax vol 14 random thoughts (ch 5-8)

okay enough stalling... let's get this done... HOO BOY

chapter 5:

i love how vash is drawn in these panels... and vash waking up from hearing meryl's words... WAAHHHHH...

GET UP COWARD (<- lyric from my chemical romance's 2022 single 'the foundations of decay' which i may or may not be considering for a vash playlist)

oh, i LOVE this image of knives covering his face...

hmhmhm... the way knives addresses the other plants is... gentle, almost?

"sorrow and grief," huh... over the humans trying to communicate with them? those are the kinds of emotions this scenario is bringing out? there is something there but... i don't quite know what it is...

uwahhh... i do love this image...

"we were united in hatred" -> "i feel a murmur of fear"... hmmm. sounds like knives himself, who buried his fear underneath hatred... am i connecting any dots???

but fear in communicating with humans... fear because communication is scary in general? fear because of the abuse humans have put plants through? fear of uncertainty of what this communication will result in?

the tiniest merylmilly u can imagine...

they ask if it's safe, but it's not like vash cares if it's safe, he's been prepared to die for several volumes now, so... he's probably thinking "if i die i die," lol. (<- in pain)

this is a cute expression...

"don't touch me," he says...

knives trying to incorporate himself with the fused plants - now it's HIS turn to go "if i die i die" i guess LJSDKLFDS... both him and vash risking it all for their ideals. they really are brothers...

vash's "grant me that ticket"... it doesn't directly address god, but it feels like a prayer nonetheless.

chapter 6:

wah... meryl's strength gives vash strength... wahhh... is this the first time they've... well, "talked about it" isn't the right phrase, but is this the first time vash understands what meryl was going through that time when she flinched away from him?

"what matters is that you communicate. that you understand the person next to you is breathing and existing." ugh, fuck, i can feel myself getting weepy again.

the people getting good AND bad memories from the plants.. good! good! they said a few volumes ago that most(?) of the population has gathered in this city, so this really is everyone?! individual normal people couldn't do much about plant abuse, but now that EVERYONE understands, things can change! they can acknowledge what's happened, and they can change, and move forward!!

and vash being the bridge, the point of commonality between humans and plants... uaaghgh it's so interesting because for a long time vash's reputation among the humans was one of destruction. but in this moment everyone understands who he really is and what he wants. ueueeueueue....

also. this pattern of receiving traumatic memories via feathers, and to come out the other side not with fear and hatred but with increased compassion and understanding... sounds like what happened between vash and meryl, doesn't it?

"i've never made a promise like this before, but today i'd like to try" UAAGHGHHG.G U AHGHGHGHG.

haha. hey. why does it look like he's been crying. i'm going to throw up.

i don't know if the rest of this post will be comprehensible.

chapter 7:

what do i even say here.

hey remember the chapter title "king of loneliness." i'm gonna go eat rocks now.

even now, he's stubbornly clinging to his ideals, thinking he's in too deep, that he's gone too far to turn back...

oh, this is getting to me, the way it's worded. "caught up in something too big" and the panel of them as kids. they were just kids when this all started. this was too big for them. knives was a kid, a traumatized, scared kid who made a very bad, very destructive decision, and he has lived his life up until this point digging his heels in, growing more and more twisted, more controlling and violent, trying to justify his own actions to himself because how do you carry something like that.

"kill me, vash, there's nowhere else for me to go." literally two chapters ago vash said "where am i going? what's there left to see?" i'm fucking eating rocks.

"even though we were apart for so long, we were still brothers. but i was the one who broke away..." knives looks so pained when he thinks this. now, after all this, he's finally feeling regret, or letting himself feel regret. in the last possible moment.

...or so he thinks. vash has a clear shot, the opportunity to kill knives, and knives wants vash to kill him, he expects it - but vash protects him instead. with his last bullet. despite knives's blade going through his torso. despite everything. despite EVERYTHING!!!!! vash has EVERY REASON to hate knives, to KILL knives, and he STILL chooses not to!!!! i'm not okay i'm crying again

in 98, rem tells vash "take care of knives"... this is pretty much the same thing... i don't want to say this is necessarily another thing nightow took from 98 because of course this is what she said, what else would she have said at that time?

the beginning of the chapter had vash struggling to remember what rem said, but the preceding pages imply it's knives remembering her words... or maybe they both are...

this is fucking getting to me, fuck, i'm crying again!!! fuck!!!!

also, oh, chronica IS still alive... honestly i was (and still am) so caught up in the twins that that information just immediately left my brain the first time around LMAO...

i am so. fucking. unwell. about knives's expressions in this scene. he's feeling so many things at once. i just... the fact that vash protects knives and picks him up to haul him away... he ISN'T leaving knives on his own, even in the end, even after everything that's happened... and knives is just. what IS he feeling? shock, disbelief, regret... love, can i say love?? love for his brother?? the love between them that never went away, despite everything?? i am gonna fucking throw up

i don't know where to put this in the post because it occurred to me while i was proofreading, but knives stabbed vash, felt shock and regret, and then acted to save him... which sounds awfully similar to what happened between rem and vash, huh?

this, with knives's hair turning black... new hair, new outlook, right?

will you drive me back, can you take me home... (<- lyrics from gerard way's 'brother' from his 2014 solo album 'hesitant alien')

oh, the fact that they sprouted wings like this in the stampede s1 finale is gonna make it hit SOOOO MUCH HARDER once THIS scene gets adapted. this is such a beautiful spread, a beautiful moment... i'm gonna cry again...

LIVIO!!!! TO THE RESCUE!!!! also... that's not a double fang, whose gun is that?

WOLFWOOD!!!!! WWWAHHHHGHGHGHH!!!!! the "turn around and he's gone" scene is SUCH a cliche but FUCK!!!!!! IT'S GETTING TO ME!!!!!!

chapter 8:

i feel so normal i feel so normal (affirmations) (lying)

i can't. i can't type. i'm crying too much. this is love. it's just love.

his last act, knowing that it will kill him, is an act of love. love for his brother. so vash can eat. so the doctor and his kid can eat. and as time goes on it'll grow bigger and be able to feed more people. food as a love language. i'm crying and sobbing.

knives understands he has no place in this world, especially after everything he's done, and the world needs vash more than him... that vash can't live in the world as long as they're together... he doesn't even tell vash himself that he intended to disappear... it's his choice, he walks his path with pride... but i'd like to believe they were able to spend some time together before this. just being brothers. TALKING. eating together. sleeping next to each other. hugging?? apologizing?? knives finally being a good brother after so long and taking care of vash?? making up for lost time. i'd like to imagine it. let me imagine it.

i've been thinking this for a while but i actually do think that vash would forgive knives if knives expressed regret and asked for forgiveness. because vash is jesus and all, and that's how sin and forgiveness work in christianity, if you believe and repent you will be forgiven, etc... i don't know if vash would forgive knives right away - he is very, very human after all - but i definitely think he could. and maybe he did. maybe they had that talk.

phew. okay, i'm finished crying now, and BOY was it a big cry. not any easier the second time around. anyway.

does he really need a wig? if he doesn't spike up his hair, that would be effective by itself, since it's one of his identifiers according to the earth forces...

DOES THIS CONFIRM THAT VASH CAN'T GROW A BEARD WITHOUT EFFORT? like since his plant powers are completely drained he can no longer grow a beard???

AHHHH... VASH'S BIG SMILE!!!!! and everyone's wearing their old clothes, and with a bunch of guys comically chasing vash around, yeah, this is really all for callback's sake... we've come so far, and full circle.

meryl's lecture to him is so typically meryl LOL... he DID NOT keep his promise LMAO

the fucking jojo sound effects are cracking me up HDSFKSFJDFS

also everyone who complained about stampede """changing""" meryl into a reporter owes me $100 right fucking now. that was a complaint i saw SO MUCH. i thought it was a bit strange myself, but i figured orange had a reason, and now i know. those complainers know NOTHING!!! NOTHING!!!!!!

meryl frantically reading from her script and milly's big smile... cute... also WHAT DO YOU MEAN WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS LMAO?? are they planning on stripping him?? vash the stampede nip slip???

AAHHHHH LIVIO GREW HIS HAIR OUT AGAIN!!!!! and he's at wolfwood's grave... oh fuck i said i was done crying GODDAMMIT!!!!

okay. okay i'm done for real now. man. man. what do i say. what can i say.

"the same song of humanity still sang." and what a beautiful song it is.

i don't really know how to conclude this post... just. wow. what a journey this was. i don't think i've ever cried this much over a manga, lol... i... had a really good time!

[srovtl]

Offering A Prayer to the Wandering God Chapter 6

Figaro: We can't confirm or solve the strange phenomenon without investigating Verla.

Figaro: You allowed me to meet her a long time ago. Is there a reason why you can't let me meet her now?

Elijah: …no…

He hesitated and his thin lips dropped a little.

For just a moment, the corners of his crescent-shaped mouth seemed to twitch unnaturally.

Akira: ...Elijah?

Elijah: No, no such thing.

The voice sounded as if he was spitting his words out.

His white hair, cut short at his shoulders, swayed as he shook his head, casting a shadow over his handsome face.

His eyes, with a faint smile that looked forced, seemed to shine eerily.

Elijah: Verla is at the altar. Please follow me.

With a creaking sound, the large doors slowly slid open.

The place Elijah had guided us to was built just like a church. Towering before us was a magnificent altar.

Illuminated by the flickering candlelight, what emerges is...

Sacrificium: …….

Akira: (A large, human-shaped... sculpture...?)

I felt a chill.

It sits in the center of the altar, bathed in the light that pours in from the skylight.

Shino, Riquet, Rutile: ………

Long-lived Wizards: ………

Arthur: This is Verla...?

Tall, with a disproportionately thin torso and exposed ribs peeking out from under the cloth she's wearing.

She has large, misshapen wings growing from half of her face, and multiple arms of varying lengths and thickness growing from her back.

Nero: ...The altar and offering table are warped and cracked.

Nero: There are also traces of ceramic rubbing on the floor, like she's been coming and going many times.

Bradley: This statue must be what the humans call a wandering, strange shadow.

Bradley: Gives me the creeps. This thing must be the source of the disturbance in the mansion.

Mithra: ...I thought so, what a terrible taste.

While the long-lived wizards and Arthur frowned, Shino, Riquet and Rutile looked around and exclaimed.

Shino: Isn't that arm on top the same as the one that was discarded on the floor there?

Riquet: The horns growing out of its temple are also identical to those on the statue next to the altar.

Rutile: And the large wings are similar to the ones in the hallway. Only one pair had come off...

Akira: There are tools and files under the altar... Could they have used those?

Figaro: ...I see. So not only this statue, but all the sculptures collected throughout the mansion were materials.

Figaro: The statue of Verla, like the other sculptures, has been remodeled in every way. Some cursed objects and cursed things were used.

Mithra: It looks like a monster that Oz transformed into. No... that was nicer.

Mithra: That one may not look cool, but it was remade to be convenient. But that's not the case with this one.

Mithra: It may look good at first glance, but it's a mix of a lot of things and all logic is broken.

Figaro: Elijah. Did you do this?

Figaro: The Verla I saw before wasn't like this.

Elijah: ...... Haha…

Akira: Elijah...?

Nero: Why are you laughing....?

With unsteady steps, Elijah stepped forward in front of the altar.

He pushed back his long bangs, covered his face with both hands, and laughed loudly.

Elijah: What do you think of my Verla? Isn't she beautiful?

With his back to us, we don't know what his expression was.

He continued, with a voice tinged with ecstasy.

Elijah: Yes... I am the one who did this.

Elijah: I tore off the thin limbs, and was trying out what to do with the torso... I couldn't decide, so I stuck a few parts together.

Elijah: I repainted the scraped skin, white like snow…

Figaro: How Uncouth...

Arthur: Faith in the statue of Verla was what you truly desired. So why…

Elijah: Why? Of course. This is necessary.

Elijah: This is the only Offering I can give to Verla...

Akira: What do you mean by Offering...?

Rutile: Is there some kind of custom that you give to God?

Elijah: ……

Riquet: Elijah, if you keep quiet, we won't know anything.

Riquet: I find it hard to believe but… Is that how you worship your God?

Shino: But it's all gaudy and looks like it was made out of sheer desperation. I'd put more thought into it and make something that looks better.

Nero: I don't really get it… What do you want to do with this statue?

Nero: Are you satisfied with the remodeling? You're just trying all sorts of things and you're losing sight of something.

Elijah looked back, his head bowed and his face covered.

The same innocent eyes of a lost child I had seen earlier peeked out from between his hair.

He shook his head gently and hung his head, as if in repentance.

Elijah: ...I know. I did something unforgivable.

Elijah: But that's exactly why, I had no choice but to do this...

There was certainly something strange about his words and actions. But I couldn't really believe he was a bad person.

Arthur: ...Even if you acknowledged what you had done, there was a reason you couldn't stop.

Arthur: Even though you knew it wasn't going to work, something made you continue...

Arthur carefully chose his words as he looked into Elijah's eyes, who were at the same height as him.

He looked away, but Arthur carried on regardless.

Arthur: Elijah, thank you for letting me meet Verla.

Arthur: You've been repairing Verla by yourself for a long time.

Elijah: Ye….yes……

Arthur: As I said before, we have no intention of blaming you.

Arthur: I simply can't blame you. Not when you are making that face.

Riquet: …….

Bradley: I don't know what you're thinking but. Act like a villain or act like a victim, choose one.

Elijah: …..hah?

Bradley : If you can't become a complete villain, it's better not to get involved halfway.

Bradley: The moment you fled from the north, you're obviously not cut out for that shit.

Nero: Brad...

At that moment, a chill creeps up my spine, and I rub my shoulders.

Rutile: It's cold...

Mithra:  …..?

Rutile, standing nearby, also shivered.

Mithra looked at each of us in turn, blinking curiously.

Mithra: Are you two already being affected?

Mithra: You have Figaro's magic, how are you still so weak? 《Arthim》

Akira, Rutile: Mmgh!?

Mithra shoves the sugar he made into our mouths. It was a rough gesture, but like the receding tides, the chill subsided.

Besides us, Figaro looks up at Verla.

Figaro: The sun is starting to set. We shouldn't stay here for too long.

As we leave the altar room, the air feels a little lighter.

Saku-chan, whose fur had been standing on end the whole time, calms down.

Figaro: You did a foolish thing, Elijah.

We return to the place where we had treated Elijah earlier and look back down the hallway that Figaro had walked down.

The light coming in through the window was a deep orange. Night was approaching, and the sculptures were about to start moving.

Figaro: Simply put, Verla is just a sculpture.

Figaro: She may have the power to cast a spell, having received the thoughts of people in the village where you were born for many years.

Figaro: But even so, with your twisted mind, you kept attaching and detaching bodies, and combining bad things...

Figaro: The power of the disaster has transformed and twisted them, and Verla is on the verge of becoming a monster.

Figaro stopped talking for a moment, sighing.

He didn't seem angry, but after a suggestive pause, he lightly shrugged his shoulders.

Figaro: You wanted to continue believing, so Verla returned to you.

Figaro: It's cruel to take away her form, remake her, and treat her however you like.

Elijah: …It's my fault...

Mithra: Yes that's right. Now that we know the cause, let's get it over with quickly.

Mithra: Maybe it would be solved if we destroyed the whole mansion with that big sculpture.

Arthur: Wait... Mithra.

Arthur: Even if we solve it by force, Elijah's heart won't be saved. And Verla still wont get her body back.

Arthur: There must be some complicated circumstances between them. It would be unbearable if there was any lingering resentment.

Mithra: Circumstances? What excuses is he going to make now after he tried to completely remake everything?

Elijah: …….

I'm sure Mithra just asked honestly. But Elijah bit his lip again in frustration.

Elijah: I also... at first I tried to fix her the way she was.

Elijah: When I picked Verla up from the sea, she was in a terrible state.

Shaking his hair lightly, Elijah stared at his own palm.

His voice was squeezed out, like rubbing smudged ink.

Its limbs are crumbling, its beautiful porcelain skin is peeling off in places, and its wings are broken.

Elijah: Every single day, I gathered materials, scraped them, polished them, corrected any distortions, reattached them over and over again, and prayed.

Elijah: But... it didn't work out the way I wanted it to. The more I tried, the further it got from my ideal form.

Shino: That's what happens when an amateur tries to fix stuff.

Shino: I heard the materials were rare to begin with. If you can't get them, it won't be that easy to repair, even with magic.

Nero: That's true, but... once something is broken, it can't be restored to its original state.

Nero: Even if you manage to put it back together with magic, it feels like there's something different about it compared to the original.

Nero: The more sentimental it is, the worse it gets.

Elijah: ...I agree. But I couldn't just leave it like that.

Elijah: I don't know how many hundreds of years I continued like that, but…

Elijah: One day, I suddenly came to my senses. I saw Verla looking completely different, and I realized.

Elijah: I committed a taboo.

Elijah: I've already reached a point of no return...

Riquet: …….

Elijah held his own shoulders, as if to protect himself from the terrible memories.

His white skin turned even paler, and his beautiful face was distorted in anguish.

previous chapter - directory - next chapter

[ashtraythief]

Hi. I’m dying. I had a dream last night where you posted the end of Underneath, which should be a good dream, right? Nope. My dream gave it the worst ending possible. Jensen cheated, of all things, with someone he knows in his real life, and someone sends pictures to Jared. In a shocking twist, Jensen comes clean about everything, the cheating but also being Jensen Ackles and Jared just forgives him. I remember being so confused in my dream that you would take the story in this direction. I didn’t think Jensen would ever cheat, but if he did, I can’t imagine Jared just forgiving him. He’d burn their house to the ground he’d be so mad. I wouldn’t want to be the man that cheats on him, that’s for sure, haha. I’m still so relieved it was a dream. I checked your a03 the second I woke up, really happy there was no chapters of Underneath posted, haha. First time that’s happened. Like lying about your identity because your an FBI officer is forgivable to me, and we support it because Jared is a mob boss after all, but cheating is just not, haha. My dream self fully believed and accepted that was the ending. But anyway, ok, I don’t say this to make you stress about the ending. Whatever it is, it’s going to be great because you wrote it. I just thought this was funny and totally bizarre, so I’m sharing lol. Have you ever had underneath related dreams?

Omg nonnie, now I'm dying 😅 I'm both flattered and horrified that you dreamed about underneath and your brain came up with that. Because you're right, Jensen would never cheat and Jared would never forgive that if he did lol. There'd be murder, definitely. (tho now I'm having dark thoughts about Jensen going home trying to find his equilibrium, getting drunk with Steve and Chris, and there's this guy he used to hook up with in college and it's just--easy and Jensen needs to feel in control, not like with Jared who takes him apart every time, where Jensen doesn't have any defenses but with this guy, Jensen doesn't feel like that and it's. yeah. A way to step back, to focus. Nevermind that after he feels hollow and even worse and he stumbles to the bathroom and throws up and he's not sure whether it's the booze or the guy he fucked, and well, after, he rinses his mouth and stares in the mirror and he just wants to turn back time only he doesn't know how far, only knows that this was. wrong. But. We're not thinking about that! Because Jensen would never.)

Anyways, hopefully, if we're lucky I'll be able to wrap up the Meet Cute prequel this month (prayer circle my beta has the time to clean up the very wonky next installment) and then maybe the Pied Piper prequel next month and I don't want to jinx it, but I have been working on a fun, porny J2 timestamp so there's hope for more fic this summer. And yeah, it's inconsequential stuff, but I swear they actively resist the End, so I have to approach it covertly lol.

Thanks for your message, nonnie ❤️

[mickimomo]

Hi, just bothering you again for the next time you're bored: Any thoughts on what happens when the The Talokanil in your sun/sky AU find out what twerking is/means? 😂😂😂 Wakandans don't really seem the type to exalt 'twerking' in their dance moves ofc but that don't mean anything when you got troublemakers like Aneka around. Because also, would Oni be throwing it in a circle if she maybe gets drunk enough? She spent enough time outside of Wakanda to know a lil something-something too didn't she?

Haha. Well, I'm bored, and I'm low-key using these to get me back into writing. So, thank you for asking.

Ok. So, my thing about twerking is that I feel that every POC culture in the world has their own style for it that isn't referred to as twerking. Kinda like how in parts of the carribbean you wine your waist.

Nakia kinda did something that was slightly reminiscent when they were heading to Warrior Falls. Although, it wasn't full blown throwing it back like the people or the Lost Tribe. 🤣

So, with that in mind, I would find it hard to believe that the people of Talokan didn't have something of their own style as well. Especially since they sing and play instruments. (I am a strong believer in where there is music, there has to be dancing.)

I actually wrote out a little something for the book with Oni x Namora (Tipsy Chronicles) a couple of weeks ago (for their book) where they have a parade celebrating Bast and everyone is dancing and singing. (No, I didn't publish it yet. Haha.) And I kinda imagined that everyone in Talokan was fascinated by their ways and seeing another avenue of their culture. Maybe I'll drop a snippet on Tumblr later today.

I think maybe they'd dance and show how they get down too. You can't tell me that Attuma wouldn't know how to dance if Okoye started getting down like Nakia. Hands would be on those hips IMMEDIATELY! *presses boom sound on the soundboard*

Now, to directly incorporate dance exclusively from the Lost Tribe. Aneka would definitely be busting moves with Shuri (and RiRi) at the party. I feel like they'd probably even make a blend between the two cultures in terms of dancing.

Deep in my soul, I feel like Aneka would have Attuma watching movies and maybe there'd be a Bachelorette party somewhere in one of the films where they hire a male stripper and he would ask Aneka a million and one questions. And leave with the talent of Magic Mike ×10. And Okoye would be like-

As for Oni. Knowing her, she'd definitely tease tf out of Namora sober. Like dancing from afar while watching her. Perhaps dancing against her discreetly, so she doesn't get chewed out by Cebisa.

Cebisa and Oni at every celebration:

"That is not what good vessels of Bast do."

(Meanwhile, Bast is completely indifferent to her vessel's shenanigans 🤣💀)

Drunk Oni on the other hand.

It's going two ways.

She's either about to give us a performance that's about to get her dragged to Talokan (or probably the river if Namora is impatient) and get absolutely ruined by Namora.

Or

She's going to give us a performance that's going to get her dragged home and tucked into bed with a prayer to Bast and Chaac to help her drunkness go away.

In her time outside of Wakanda, she was actually isolated to some degree. (The next chapter of Storm will discuss that a little, so I won't say too much.) T'Challa had her placed somewhere that would not attract too much attention because even though she was in exile, she is still the vessel of Bast. It is Wakanda's duty to protect her and prevent further "desecration", even in punishment.

I mean, imagine what would happen if Val got her hands on Oni. 🙃 They'd be trying to use her blood to make super soldiers and experimenting on her.

Hopefully, that answers your questions. 💓

[littleapocalypsekitten]

I had the same thought. If I wake up tomorrow and my long awaited Trump is Dead news arrives, I'm just gonna be "Haha, Internet, nice of you to try to pull a fast one on me!" Maybe if it's on CNN I'll believe it, but maybe not even then. I plan to spend my time tomorrow trying to avoid the April Tomfoolery by playing video games or doing art while awaiting a scheduled phone call for a very important thing in my life that I know is not a hoax because it was pre-assigned and Monday just happens to be a business day. I will wait and see if the news of the Orange Shitgibbon's demise is actually the truth until the next day, and maybe even the next day. Please show us a corpse. Yes, America, we can have that traitor laying in state, an honor he does not deserve - but is common for former Presidents - merely to show that he's actually stone-cold dead. We need to keep the Evangelical Fundamentalist loonies who literally have adopted him as the new Christ from thinking that he has risen from the dead, after all. We also need the expert zombie and vampire hunters at the ready just in case he tries it. Someone should be stationed at the coffin with a stake. Guards should have silver bullets. Anyway, there will be many conspiracy theories to come out of it. OF COURSE the MAGAts witll think the "Biden Crime Family" pulled a hit. They may think that all of Trumps Republican rivals were in on it, like DeSantis and Haley and Cheney conspired to bump him off in order to stop their movement and have a place. Or that they're possessed by Demons and somehow successfully thwarted God's Great Chosen Messiah of America. They will spiral in on themselves until most fling off and come to their senses and what is left at the black hole core are a tiny, hyperviolent ball that gets found out / countered / controlled by the National Guard and other agencies, because Trump isn't in charge and there to stop them anymore. I do predict that there will be attempts at bombings and mass-shootings around various government properties, hopefully thwarted, but there will probably be some loss of life. But, overall, the greater power of MAGA will be gone. It'll dwindle away over the years and decades. And in the history books, the story of the douchebag who was such a douche he died on April 1 will become one of the funniest chapters of American history. Edit: Carter will have a wonderful excuse not to attend: "I'm old, I'm sick, I just lost my wife. I barely made her funeral because I'm in hospice. I'll give him my prayers, leave me be." - Basically. And we will all understand and admire him for this.

It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.

Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real

There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations

Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that

The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.

Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.

Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.

[demoonlady]

Chapter 207: Stars and Oil, Part 3

// SPOILER WARNING!!! DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE CHAPTER YET.

Opening words: “Choso reappears in Tsukumo’s critical moment! His plan is...?!”

》 Kenjaku: "So heavy!!"

》 Choso: "Are you watching... my little brothers? I'm going to kill our faaaaather!!"

》 Yuki: "This is getting interesting, fallen warrior!!"

*fallen samurai — the kanji is 落ち武者 (ochimusha), which means "fallen warrior". I personally prefer "fallen warrior".

》 Yuki: "You've been a great help, big brother."

The term used here wasn't just a mere thank you like "arigatou" or even "domo". Yuki said 助かる (tasukaru), which is spoken when a person is "saved" by someone else — in the sense that the rescuer helped that person escape from an undesirable/troublesome situation. 助かる (tasukaru) is used to give respect and it also conveys a deeper gratitude to the person/people who helped you out.

》 Yuki: "He got out [of Garuda's hold] during the time when 「Bom-Ba-Ye」 was weakened 'cause I was using Reverse Cursed Technique."

》 Yuki: "...he crushes everything with Cursed Spirit Manipulation!"

John Werry, have you forgotten what Geto's CT is? 🥹

This is just me nitpicking but I think "mini Uzumaki" sounds much better.

》 Kenjaku: "Your weight does not change when you use 「Bom-Ba-Ye」... That must mean even if your density increases, your durability remains the same."

When I read "tensile strength", my eyes hurt. I do believe the kanji in this context meant durability, or toughness. (And guess what? I asked my friend and she told me that the kanji 強度 means "tensile strength" in chinese 💀)

Closing words: “Direct hit!!”

–

My thoughts:

Good chapter! The battle was so intense that it could pass off as one of the close-to-end-of-series fights, y’know? All three of them are Special-Grade sorcerers and I believe Gege is trying to reiterate to us with this battle.. that if one cannot use RCT or if they run out of cursed energy, then it's basically endgame. And ultimately, it also boils down to who has the highest durability to tank the physical blows once their CE runs out. Hats off to Yuki and Choso for their strategy to try and deplete Kenjaku's CE as well as tire him out physically since right now we can assume that Kenjaku isn't like Gojo who doesn't run out of CE, or like Yuuta who has abundant amounts of CE. But with that ending, things don't seem to look real good so what's gonna happen next?

Kenny using Rasengan on Yuki was purely intentional, I bet. Especially after he has confirmed that she’s capable of using RCT. Since CE has been said to originate from the belly, it’s not surprising he pulled that move against her. But ayo, I was definitely taken aback by the mini Uzumaki, it’s so smollllllllll. With that hole in the stomach, I'm not sure if she’d be able to channel CE to perform RCT on herself, but maybe she still can do it since Hakari did it too haha. Nevertheless, being the gutsy woman that she is, chances are Yuki will gamble everything she’s got and finish this fight strong. Reminder that she's a Special-Grade who's said to be able to overthrow a nation, so I don't believe she's gonna get offed in the next chapter, as such please don't worry, Yuki stans! Perhaps, like everyone's been hoping for, we might get to see her expand her domain - though, the effectiveness might be significantly weaker.

Choso isn’t in good shape either and will need time to recover from “Gravity” technique. But even if he plunges in to help Yuki, he’s not gonna be able to keep up. Between him and Yuki, IF one were to die, I’d say it’s most likely Choso. Just continue to say our prayers, alright, guys? :’) Meanwhile, Tengen.... isn’t going to do anything much, is she?

If you ask me, the best conclusion to this battle is... Uraume showing up to grab Kenjaku's arse outta there, and they'll cop Tengen on the way too. Maybe Uraume's gonna announce that the preparations are now ready..? A popular take right now is that Tengen will merge with Yuki, which is plausible, but I think it’d be better if the merger doesn’t work in the way they wanted it to. Seriously if it does happen and the both of them think that Kenjaku’s plans will be hindered, please tell me that they're ded wrong. I can't see him being stopped right now, not yet. Kenjaku's gonna remain as the final boss until Sukuna has properly reincarnated in a body of his own.

Meanwhile, I’m still waiting on the secret that Tengen’s hiding from us all. Yeah, no problem, just keep us waiting some more, Gege-chan. You enjoy doing that to us anyway lmaooooo.

[lisutarid-a]

[Gakuen K] Yata Misaki Route Translation

A visit

LIST OF CHAPTERS

[Translation under the cut]

Saya: (The third semester starts today. I need to get over the New Year as soon as possible...)

Kukuri: Good morning! Hey,Hey...I heard you're going out with Yata-kun? Is it true?

Saya: Eh!

Kukuri: That reaction! So it’s true. Wow, it's the springtime of your life, isn't it?~

Saya: Who told you that?

Kukuri: It's called "a rumor of the wind". Because girls information network is the most powerful!  

Kukuri: I never expected that Yata-kun, who's never been good with girls, would have a girlfriend~

Kukuri: Have you had your first date yet?

Saya: Um, yeah. To the fist shrine visit...

Kukuri: Oh, old-fashioned! After all, did you drew a vovit table (a wooden board dedicated to shrines for the purpose of prayers and thanks) together?

Saya: Kukuri-chan, you're biting off too much.

Kukuri: Haha, after all? Sorry-sorry!

Kukuri: I hope your love and relationship with Yata-kun will last forever!

Saya: Yeah!

Saya: Huh...Yata-kun is absent?

Anna: Yes. He called in sick.

Fushimi: Heeeh...Seems like even an idiot can catch a cold.

Anna: Yes. Be careful too, Saruhiko.

Fushimi: ...Are you mocking me?

Anna: No. I'm just worried about my students.

Fushimi: Tsk...

Saya: (Yata-kun has a cold...)

Saya: (Even the always healthy Yata-kun can get sick)

Saya: (I'm worried...I think I'll make him a visit)

Yata: What the hell, I was asleep...Who is this?

Saya: It's Konohana. I came to visit you.

Yata: Eh? A visit!?

Saya: Do you mind if I come in?

Yata: Eh, oh...Wait a minute! NO, two minutes!!

Saya: I'm sorry to bother you.

Yata: Oh, Uhm...It's dirty, but don't worry about it.

Choice: [It suits you] ♥

Saya: No, it's not. It's more beautiful than I thought it'd be.

Yata: What do you mean "More than I thought"!?

Choice: [Under the bed...] 

Saya: Are you hiding something under the bed?

Yata: I'm not! I wouldn't do something like that.

Saya: Oh, I'm sorry. ...Can I take a look, just in case?

Yata: No! What do you mean "Just in case"?...Damn.

Saya: Anna-sensei told me about your cold. Are you feeling okay?

Yata: Ahh, I'm fine now. Kusanagi-san taught me how to cure a cold.

Saya: How to cure a cold?

Yata: If you take a cold medicine and a sports drink together, you'll sweat all out and be cured in a day.

Yata: I was worried it was serious, but since I'm alive and well now, it must have worked. Kusanagi-san is amazing!

Saya: I see...That means, you can come to school tomorrow, right?

Yata: Uhm! Sorry I made you worry.

Saya: Nah. I'm glad you're okay.

Saya: I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Get some rest today, okay?

Yata: I know. Thank you for coming to visit me.

[Prev chapter] [Next chapter]

[whatifxwereyou]

The Oncoming Storm Part 25: Home

Liu Kang x Reader and Kung Lao x Reader (gonna do both, two paths!)

Oh no. That's all I have to say. Also, Chen is a delight.

A/N: This chapter was so long that I actually cut it in half to post it over two separate days instead. It was 12 pages and I figured that was a bit much. Though, 8-12 is what I average when I'm writing fiction for publishing so... haha <3 love you guys! hope you are all doing wonderful!! Also please, please make dick jokes in the comments. PLEASE lol.

Part 24 Part 26 Chapter Index

It was a struggle to open your eyes even if you were awake. You had rolled onto your side and were facing the window. You could see the light of the morning peeking in from along the seams of the dark curtains of the hotel room. Somewhere throughout the night, you’d readjusted and now you were the little spoon. You could feel his soft, even breath on your shoulder, warm and comforting. His arm was tucked beneath you, the other wrapped tightly over yours that rested over your chest.

You didn’t want to get up, so you closed your eyes again and sunk into his arms, clearly not thinking. Your back was pressed against his chest, your hips pressed square against his too. He tightened his arm around you, and nuzzled into the side of your neck, a hot sigh tickling your sensitive bruised flesh. More importantly, you could feel him pressed right against your backside in all his glory. There he was. Liu Kang. You snapped your eyes open and were as stiff, well, as he was, afraid that you would make it worse if you moved even if you were incredibly curious.

Just what kind of good dreams was he having?

Then you had to try not to laugh. You carefully turned to bury your face in the pillows, and it was so hot that you swore you might be burning alive. Liu Kang and his inherent warmth against every single part of your body was killing you.

You were going to suffocate. Or catch fire.

Deep breaths. Breathe through his hand gently clutching yours. You could do this.

Okay.

No big deal.

Liu Kang was wrapped around you, pressed against you, and you were trapped in his arms and trying desperately to think about anything other than that. The impure thoughts were rampant.

Chen would have been screaming your victory throughout the temple. She also would have told you to just go for it. Make that complicated ride that much more complicated. Poor choice of words, brain. Chen had gotten into your head. And all the tension you’d built up with Kung Lao and Liu Kang had no release to speak of.

“Liu?” You decided the best thing to do would be to wake him up. Sneaking out of his arms would have made things both awkward and worse.

He stirred at the sound of your voice and pulled you tighter. It took everything inside of you not make a sound of surprised delight at the impressive mental picture he had very clearly painted. Oh, god there were so many jokes popping into your head. Sarcastic defense mechanism, go away! You had to keep it together. No laughing. No moaning. No jokes.

Your face had never been redder. He was waking up. Thank god. His lips brushed against your shoulder, and he nuzzled right against the side of your neck, nose pressing just behind your ear. This was hard. Ah, damnit brain. No jokes! With a soft moan just against your neck, he shifted.

Then, very suddenly, Liu pulled his arm out from beneath you, let you go and rolled onto his back, knees bent so that the blankets didn’t reveal any secrets. Yeah, the secret had more than been revealed already. You appreciated his modesty anyway. You carefully scooted onto your back, careful not to brush against him in any way and fanned your face. There was no talking down the redness in your cheeks, no hiding what had happened.

“Sorry,” he managed, his voice still gruff and sleepy. He stared at the ceiling and seemed to be coaching himself through his own deep breaths. You sat up and adjusted your shirt that had become unbelievably crooked. Some of the buttons had even come undone. Jeez, you’d certainly been busy while you’d slept. “You… sleep alright?” He pinched the bridge of his nose and the fact that he was trying to have a totally normal conversation like that hadn’t happened was hilarious.

No laughing.

“Yeah, it took a while to get to sleep but I basically blacked out when I did. Feels like I could sleep for another year though.” You somehow managed to act normal. As normal as you could with your face as red as it was and your eyes as wide as they were. You could barely have a conversation about where you were relationship-wise, so you were pretty sure that you weren’t ready to discuss his morning wood.

You needed Chen in that moment. You needed Chen to help you uncomplicate this yarn ball of chaos in your head. Then again, Chen would have just told you to go for it. To reach around and give it a go. You had to close your eyes and try not to laugh again. “What about you?”

You didn’t laugh. Kudos to you.

“Tired this morning.” It was the first time that you had ever seen Liu Kang looking like he could have slept longer than you did. In fact, he was a little pale. Not terribly so, but then again, all the blood in his body was busy somewhere else. It took every ounce of your strength not to ask him if he was okay. He would tell you if he wasn’t. “I need a shower. Will you be okay alone?”

“Yeah. Go ahead.” You purposely turned toward your own bed to offer him modesty, but you might never be your normal color again. Red forever. You waited for the sound of the bathroom door closing before you flopped back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. You’d changed your mind. “I can never ever tell Chen this happened.” The teasing would have gone on forever.

While he was in the shower, you changed into some of your new clothes and then cleaned yourself up. In the mirror your cheeks were finally turning back to a normal rosy color. You checked on the jade to make sure that nothing had changed during the night, and then you packed up, opened the curtains to the hotel room, and straightened up while you waited for Liu, doing anything in your power to stop your renegade thoughts.

“Do you need to stop anywhere before we go back to the temple?” Liu joined you moments after you were dressed, clothed in his familiar black and white gi, and back to his old self. Still a little pale though.

“Hmm?” You had just finished tucking the jade into your bag.

“You didn’t really get the chance to pack up your things to stay with us. I figured you might need to do some shopping.”

He was so damn thoughtful. “I actually went shopping before I met with you yesterday morning.” You patted the bag. “So, I’m okay. Thank you for offering though. I really did need a few things, especially since I keep destroying everything I wear with ink.” You patted his shoulder as you walked past him to sneak into the bathroom now that he was finished. You had to make yourself presentable and enjoy these modern amenities one last time before you returned to the temple.

Afterward, you stopped at a food stall on the road and grabbed breakfast. Then you hiked up the mountain just far enough so that Liu could summon Raiden to bring you back. You still weren’t quite sure how they did that. Was it a prayer? It looked like a prayer. He was a God, after all. Liu had used a flourish of fire, but Kung Lao had just closed his eyes and then boom. Lightning.

You were back in the temple in a flash. You pulled the bundle of jade out of your bag and offered it to Raiden while Liu Kang updated him on what you’d gone through. It felt weird to be back but not in a bad way, necessarily. This was your home now, you guessed. You hadn’t really talked about it. Everything had happened naturally and without question.

Raiden peered into the shirt and then allowed the jade to fall onto a second pedestal that had been placed a few feet away from the first one which was currently encased in glass. “Good.” Raiden seemed impressed, and you beamed. He really did have a fatherly presence about him. “I need time to examine these artifacts and attempt to unravel their purpose. The wickedness and power that has been infused within them continues to elude me.” You had expected him to need time, but you had also expected him to be able to figure it out. Again. He was a god. These things took time, you figured but you also had no idea how to process what you were up against. It was still way above your head. “From what I’ve devised from the dotaku, it was used in a dark ritual. It is tainted beyond my sight with dark energy. You two will check into the infirmary on and off for the next few days. Kung Lao has come down with a terrible fever since his return. I suspect it’s the curse on these objects causing it.”

Liu gave you an accusatory look as if to ask if you were hiding something from him. You shrugged and shook your head to his silent request. “I’m bruised all over but other than that? I feel fine. And that bell was all over me. We were much more careful about the jade. Trust me, if I had a high fever then you would know it. I’m a big baby about fevers.”

“Even if it turns out that you are immune to the impact of these objects, I would like you both to make certain that you keep a watchful eye on your health and report all symptoms to those in the infirmary.”

“Yes, of course Lord Raiden.” Liu Kang bowed respectfully before him.

“When I’ve uncovered anything of note then I will call upon you.” Raiden spoke more to you than to Liu and you bowed your head as you had learned to do. You were grateful to him for trying to help you at all. Raiden very well could have just let you die and had someone else take the mark from you. This was still beyond your understanding. Gods, curses, magic. You’d jumped into it all headfirst and had embraced the chaos, but there were moments where your logic-brain said ‘excuse me’ and you had to sort out the nonsense there.

You were trying your best, but it always came back to thought that you were very likely going to die because of this. Raiden turned away from you, dismissing you without a word. Liu nodded toward the doorway and you walked with him, dragging your bag behind you. Being out in the world for a few days had been nice. You weren’t sure how long it would take to acclimate to life in Raiden’s Temple. Right now, you were just hoping that you’d have the time to figure that out.

You made your way into the infirmary and Chen practically ran to you and gave you a hug. You were a little surprised by it but returned the affection. “Welcome back!” Chen smiled brightly and then bowed to Liu Kang respectfully. “Raiden has orders for us to keep an eye on the two of you. Please take a seat.” Chen led you to one of the empty benches, so you sat down there together.

Chen examined Liu first, taking his vitals and writing them down in a notebook she had nearby. You sat awkwardly, tapping your forefinger against your knee. Chen sat back up after she was done and then rested her hands on her knees.

“You have a fever, Liu Kang.” She tapped the paper and he blinked in surprise.

“I feel fine.” He insisted, looking to you as if he had to justify it after all his accusatory glances. He’d worried about you so much that he seemed to think that the tables were about to be turned.

“Just over 100. But if Kung Lao is anything to judge by then this isn’t the worst of it yet. I recommend rest and fluids.” Chen then frowned and narrowed her eyes. “Not that I can force you to rest, of course. I suggested the same to Kung Lao and he said, and I quote ‘I will take it into consideration’ except that his fever was spiking up to 104.”

“That sounds right.” Liu sighed but you felt suddenly on high alert. That was one hell of a fever! You’d have to check in on him. “I’ll rest and if I feel worse then I’ll check back in. If not, then I will be here in the morning just in case.”

“Thank you.” Chen slumped her shoulders as if this were a relief in comparison to having dealt with Kung Lao.

“Y/N?” Chen looked to you disapprovingly as if you were about to be just as stubborn.

“I feel fine! Why doesn’t anyone believe me?”

“You often say that you’re feeling fine when you are not, in fact, fine,” Liu whispered, and Chen snorted with laughter while taking your vitals.

“Well, I am legitimately fine right now. Honestly! And I don’t mean to lie about that stuff. The last few weeks have been weird so my definition of fine has kind of changed.” You pouted. You hadn’t meant to give anyone a false sense of how you’d been feeling but fine one day had meant that you could use your arms again and fine another meant that you’d had a vision but were still functioning. Chen glared at you, trying to discern if you were hiding something. Then she made a little note in her book. You craned your neck to try and read it and so did Liu. You gave him a look to silently scold him, and he returned it. You tightened your lips not to laugh but couldn’t hide your grin.

“She’s not lying. No fever. In fact, your temperature is even a little low. This is the most normal checkup you’ve had since you’ve been here, Y/N. I want you to come in for bloodwork later but for now… you’re okay.” Chen still seemed suspicious and Liu did too.

“Wow, you just can’t believe I’m the finest in the land right now.” You teased and Liu laughed and then shook his head as if embarrassed that he’d laughed at it. It had been a terrible joke, to be fair.

“Thank you.” Liu stood and bowed politely to Chen. You joined him and waved at Chen.

“Y/N? Could I talk to you for a second?” Chen called you back just as you’d made it outside the infirmary and back to your bag.

“I’ll be two seconds.” You told Liu who leaned against the wall of the doorway. Now that you knew he had a fever, his pale face made sense. Your hurried over to Chen. “What’s up?”

“So…?” Chen nodded toward Liu Kang and then gestured to you. You stared in disbelief.

“Are you kidding me? Right now?”

“Umm, yeah right now.”

“It’s complicated.” You rubbed your temples in annoyance. “And I obviously don’t have time to talk about it right now.”

“Oh, thank god that it’s finally complicated!”

“It has always been complicated, Chen. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“I can’t. But this is disappointing news.” Chen sighed in obvious frustration. Why was she frustrated? You were the one surrounded by a sea of hormones all damn day! “Come chat with me when you get the chance. I want to know how it went and also what complicated means.”

“Can I please go now, Chen? Please? He’s just standing behind me waiting for me while you gossip.”

“Yeah, he is, isn’t he? He hasn’t taken his eyes off you once by the way.” Chen sighed dreamily but her expression quickly shifted. “On a more serious note… I’m worried that you aren’t having symptoms the way that they are. I have a bad feeling again. Keep checking in with me, okay?”

“You are a surprise every time I talk to you.” You gently grasped Chen’s shoulder. “I’m going now.”

“You better find me later!”

“You’re a terrible monk,” You whispered and then pointed at another monk who had been very obviously listening in, silently nodding your head as if to add in that he, too, was a terrible monk.

[cheesy09]

What are your top 5 Kiro dates? No pressure, my dear friend😆😘

@keliosyfan You cannot send me something like this and expect me to keep quiet 😆 Thank you so much for this delicious, finger-licking ask, friend!! But do I really got to choose??? 🥺 I LOVE ALL HIS DATES!! 

Keeping my thoughts/analysis under the cut because this one's going to be a long one. Also, am not ranking them because they're each special to me in their own way. Plus, am only going to concentrate on the dates in EN so far.

Anyway, without further ado, Kiro Date spoilers ahead!

✨Light Pursuit Date

There’s a simple reason why I love this date so so much. It literally contains EVERYTHING I love about their relationship, plus it’s in line with the main story.

“You’re the light I’ve spent my whole life chasing” is such a strong and powerful message to use for a couple, especially since it aligns perfectly with message that this game’s story is trying to deliver. The imagery of light pursuing being used to represent their relationship puts it on an almost spiritual/cosmic level which is just so powerful to me.  

The mutual pining: Both MC and Kiro long for each other so strongly throughout this whole date and it’s so obvious to see. MC gets desperate enough to see him that she even starts dreaming about him. And no matter what Helios said on that date, we know why he really invited her to that party.

The undeniable chemistry: The attraction, the thick innuendo, the electricity that is just crackling between them; it’s so tangible, you can cut it with a knife. Talk about delectable... yum!  

The angst: As heartbreaking as the angst is, the drama involved between Kiro and MC is juicy as heck, which is another reason why I love their relationship so much. It makes their relationship feel very very real. The angst is what gives birth to the high strung emotions and passion between them. Realities they’re trying to fight, and the feelings they can’t possibly deny.

TWIN-FLAME ENERGY EVERYWHERE: As I said before, Kiro and MC just cannot deny the way they are drawn to each other, and this plays big in the twin-flame theme they have going for them. This is especially obvious in MC’s case. She knows Helios is supposed to be close to a stranger to her, and yet her body can’t help but react to him the way it would react to Kiro despite the danger that radiates from him; like her very soul knows exactly who it is behind the silver hair and cold eyes. I mean we even get this scene:

MC: Aren’t you a member of Black Swan? Why did you approach me?

I closed my eyes and finally asked the question.

Helios quivered inconspicuously under my palm, and soon he spoke in a low and sneering voice.  

Helios: Why are you under that misconception?

MC: Because...

Because I thought you were familiar, because my soul quivered involuntarily when being close to you, and because... of a ridiculous assumption.

These words are just so powerful in so many ways because what MC is saying is that she finds Helios familiar because her soul resonates with him, like it happened with someone else before...

In relation to the twin flame concept, this date is a huge representation of stage five and six in the relationship; “the test” and “the chase.” By this point, Kiro and MC’s relationship is being put the test and MC’s chase for Kiro finally begins.  

✨Stardust Date

Another date that goes hand in hand with Light Pursuit Date, except with Kiro this time instead of Helios. Plus points that this too is in line with the main story.

MORE YEARNING. And what’s so great about this is that you can actually feel what MC feels. That’s how strongly Kiro can make you pine after him.  

That steamy confession of love: It wasn’t just the passionate words that Kiro kept whispering to her, but also the tremendous amount of longing and desire in his voice that belied those very words.

Kiro’s sexiness: Please, you cannot tell me you didn’t find Kiro downright seductive in that outfit. I absolutely love his fashion sense and this one really showed off the lean yet firm build of his body, and that scorching blue-eyed gaze was just- pheeew!!

The danger he radiates: After MC catches him on that phone call, the feeling of oppression that Kiro gives off does intimidate you, but also excites and thrills you at the same time. The duality with this man is just so well-written.  

The build up: From the fiery confession, to the obvious yearning and attraction, to the flirting and teasing, and the angst, I’d say this date had one of the best buildups to a kiss overall.

THE KISS: After all that glorious build-up, the execution of the kiss was absolutely brilliant, with Kiro’s statement of “the reward I want more right now... is you” being the breaking point. All the yearning and desire that had built up over the course of the date had been let loose in that one sexy kiss. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED, LOVED the way the desire went both ways. MC pulling him closer and demanding for more from him and him responding just as passionately, was HOT.

Extra thoughts: The necklace that he gives to her on this date is an item that hasn’t been brought up on other dates, which I find a bit weird since they mentioned how important it seemed to Kiro. Another reason why I need this date to be referenced in the future. 

What I find interesting about him giving her a necklace is that even though it’s a symbol of love and affection, it’s not as powerful as a ring would be, showing that he wasn’t ready to take the next stage in the relationship. This is important foreshadowing because he knew what exactly could happen to them in the future.      

✨Treasure Date

A personal favourite of mine because it shows just how stubborn, delicate and insecure Kiro can actually be.

MC’s unexpected confession of love: Kiro’s not the only whose been pouring out his heart to her. (I’m assuming) Before the events of Chapter 14, MC has done her own fair share of confessing to him on a number of dates; the one in Treasure Date being the most notable. I held my breath when she said “I will... always be crazily in love with you” to him, because it had been the first time I’d seen her outright declare her love to a love interest so earnestly.

The supportiveness: MC just being there for him and comforting him when he was at his weakest is just so heartwarming and satisfying to see.

THE TENDERNESS AND LOVE THEY RADIATE FOR EACH OTHER :’D

BLUSHY KIRO: (Can you tell why I chose to put in that CG?) I don’t know about you, but I feel my soul ascend to heaven every time I see Kiro blush. It’s the most adorable thing on the planet!

THE BIG BABY VIBES HE RADIATES ON THIS DATE MAKE ME WANT TO CUDDLE WITH HIM FOREVER UGH!!!

The pirate and treasure theme: This is a theme that is brought up often in Kiro and MC’s story. Dates as well as the main story. It also goes hand in hand with the light pursuit theme. MC’s determination to turn into a pirate in search of her treasure (Kiro) exactly mirrors the way Kiro referred to himself as a pirate in search of his hidden treasure (MC) before his reunion with her at the convenience store, in his 3rd Anniversary Interview. It really goes to show just how much they desire and treasure each other.   

✨Prayer Date

Another hot, steamy date? Yes, ma’am! Kiro’s got a whole arsenal full of these kind of dates.

It is seriously cute how the two of them are always wishing for a “forever” with each other, and how they’re willing to go as far as to rely on superstitions for it HAHA.

Ahem. That visually appealing shower scene. Need I say more?

The date offered me another reason to label Kiro a hopeless romantic. Hello? A candlelit beach??? SWOON~!

The dash of angst: The foreshadowing. Over the course of the date, MC’s numerous failed attempts at doing something to ensure their “forever” had accumulated, and this was the first date we got to see her insecurity in regards to her relationship with Kiro. Again, these high strung emotions is what evoked some passionate desire for him in her.

This date was full of firsts. Not only was it the first time we got to see MC’s insecurity in regards to her relationship with Kiro, but it was also the first time we got to see just how... intense Kiro can be in showing his affection. Also, am I wrong in assuming that this was the first time they got so... physical with each other?

Another excellent date with excellent build-up to the end: From the pleasant start to the date, with MC being full of hope, to the unexpected encounter in the showers just to wet your appetite for this boy (pun intended haha), to the consecutive disappointments and emotional buildup made for a fabulous recipe for the delicious result we were served by the end of the date. Mmm, a spicy one at that.   

✨Flowers Date

Honestly, this was the date that made me fall for him super-super hard. It was just full of innocence and the purest of love, no questions asked. 

Kiro’s charm is on full blast in this date.

The symbolism brought out by flowers in showing how similar Kiro and MC are, is really strong on this date. They both decide to each get a gift for the other that is supposed to remind them of each other and then split up. When they came back to reveal what they each had gotten each other, they both ended up getting the same thing: a bouquet of daisies (a symbol of purity and innocence).

Kiro’s wholesome love for the simplest things in life (like flower fields) is once again brought out.

THIS DATE WAS SO ROMANTIC. He takes her to the flower field on a bicycle! And they even take off running down the hill together, hand-in-hand, and he spins her around like some kind of princess in the middle of it!

MC did daisy divination, and what was the result she got? *whispers loudly* HE LOVES ME.

Kiro being a parallel to sleeping beauty is ingenious as well as romantic in so many ways. (Plus MC being tempted enough by his sleeping appearance, that she kissed his eyelids had me grinning like a mad fool). 

Kiro says some of the most romantic things on this date in the most affectionate and tender of voices:

Notable line 1:

Kiro: Well, MC, maybe you really are my “prince charming.” Because only you can awaken me from darkness, no matter when.

Notable line 2:

Kiro: There was only you in my eyes, wasn’t there? 

Notable line 3:

Kiro: Because... You are the whole world in my eyes. Nothing else can compare. My spring... is you.   

✨Honorable mention: Miracle Date

This is another fun and wholesome date that always seems to put a smile on my face, but also comes with some strong and sad foreshadowing.

Kiro and MC are just so uplifting of each other in this date and you just love to see it.

THE INTIMACY WHEN HE WRAPPED HER IN HIS ARMS FROM BEHIND AND LACED THEIR FINGERS TOGETHER!!!

Dude, they’re so in sync with each other, it’s not even funny!

I really loved how this date works in a bit of self-introspection for the both of them (actually, a lot of his dates do). We know that Kiro and MC both push each other to become better, and this date really showcased that.

Another date with another strong message.

I melted at the way he says that her very existence is a miracle to him. Like, just the fact that she exists in this world is enough of a blessing for him.

THE LONGING IN HIS VOICE: Kiro so fervently wishing that their time together would slow down because he knew what was to come, was just so heartachingly beautiful, it made me tear up a bit.

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Witcher of the Night (Chapter 15)

THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER.

UPDATES FOR WITCHER OF THE NIGHT WILL BE PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY NOW IN MY TIME (GMT +8)

CHAPTER 14 (Link)

WITCHER OF THE NIGHT MASTERLIST

Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader

Summary: Mornings with Geralt especially after a night full of bliss can keep your face burning hot from the discernment that he'd finally bed you. He was insatiable and also salty from dodging his subtle gestures---which can be quite entertaining to experience and also upsetting when it took him three days of keeping his distance. But, the witcher made up his absence by giving a gift that surely warmed your heart.

Warnings: Mention of Bucky, X-men and the Avengers. (Weird, I know. HAHA!) Suggestive content. Cheeky Geralt. Nudity. Salty Geralt. (LMAO XD) Shy reader. Kinda sweet Geralt? There's floof in this! Geralt unfamiliar with the feeling of holding hands. Heehee! Mention of bulge, nipples and punani? Also, a cunning reader. HA!

Words: 8.9k (It's a lot. I know. Sorry. The next chapter is actually smut again. Damn. It's also 10k words. I AM UTTERLY SHOOKTH. XD)

A/N: Chapter 15.1 will be smut. No plot shift for the rest 2-3 chapters. (Just relationship development for the reader and our white wolf) Let's just be happy with these type of chapters before I drop bombs, bb's! Also, let's just appreciate that Geralt is feeling happy (still being how he is tho) before shit goes down again and he's all brooding. XD Geralt deserves this! XD I don’t want the characters to just revolve around the idea and pleasure of lust because I know it is more than that. 

TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE! Sorry for the grammatical errors and such because English isn’t my mother tongue!

Disclaimer: PNG’s used in edits are not mine even the GIF’s too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi (GIF credits: witches-ground, white-wolf-of-rivia, demivampirew)

MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

ONE HABIT OF YOURS THAT YOU WERE USED TO DOING IN THE MORNING IS TO STRETCH ALL THOSE KNOTS THAT HAPPENED TO BE ACHING WHILE YOU'VE SLEPT LIKE A BABY. The ravens that tweeted on the window side never seem to wake you up, but your body clock did.

No blinding sunlight has woken you up from your slumber this time. A lazy whine gurgled at the back of your throat; shifting on your side of the bed as you've turned sideways to sluggishly haul your arm on an expected empty space to surprisingly feel solid, chiseled, warm, valley of muscles that laid upon your palms.

You've swallowed your saliva, your throat feeling scratchy and drier than usual. A subtle clearing of your throat as you narrowed your eyes to presume that the white wolf was already out and about before you even were.

Well-knit arms and sturdy shoulders that were precisely sized like your thighs, crinite chest that you somehow managed to goggle once your half-lidded eyes blinked to straighten the blurry gaze of yours, eyesight now sharp as a cheetah. Perspective concentrated on the beefy man who had his blankets treacherously meeting the ends of his torso, mantling the parts he needed to cover for the sake of your stability.

You didn't even know your palms were already caressing Geralt's prominent abs when you've raked his body at a snail's time. Glowing, soft and amused amber eyes already focusing on your groggy state of mind.

"Good morning," the scarred hunk of a man huskily greeted, his timbre lacing with an unused pliant tone that certainly left your thoughts unprocessed as your hand cease its freedom from feeling his abs brushing beneath your fingers.

You've taken a dry gulp, impulsively carrying your weight with the help of your elbow, gaping at the witcher who had a stoic face but with unfathomable emotions filled within his eyes.

"I wasn't fondling with your abs, I swear! I was...caring and caressing your scars!" an arm was raised, like you've been caught by the police for creating a crime. The other supporting your weight against the mattress as Geralt seemed to be in a sustained position. Back wholly laying down with his face turned to your looming ones as he rested below you.

He sluggishly blinked, eyes slightly seeing something more worth to admire at as he looked down on your wonderful unclad chest before cocking a brow to skeptically admit with his eyes now focused on you, "That...didn't felt like there were any scars on that part,"

You could tell his mind was preoccupied as he licked his lips, taking a glance of what he was been looking at when you've seen breasts out in the open that made you emit a tiny shriek which got the witcher grinning a little. The blankets on you were hurriedly raised till your chest was covered; though, it probably had no use already from how you've seen the hickeys that were left all around you chest; convincing you that having a nipple slip wasn't the only thing uncouth.

A mortified look on your face had Geralt entertained first thing in the morning. A weird expression you pull whenever you're in the midst of feeling petrified for every new stuff that you experience in their world; never having to experience it back in your earth.

For all one knows, you were probably a reserved child or simply a staid that you haven't gotten a real man throughout your lifetime.

Geralt kept his mouth shut; as he always does and waited for you to vent and clear out your horrified burst of emotions. He knew you would calm down a little after saying what you needed to honestly tell, and so; he silently listened.

"Please tell me you've taken my clothes off because I needed a bath and because of whatever I was feeling last night---because, because---I'm so freaking redundant, I apologize--- Also, I gotta' say and ask you an intriguing question that you surely don't mind based on how you are lacking clothes right now---but, are you NAKED UNDER THE COVERS, Geralt?"

You couldn't believe you've taken drastic measures last night.

Face began to twist in embarrassment, it was like the morning wanted you to take the recording device and press the playback button. The horrible thread of wanton moans and utterances in the middle of being riled chimed in your head like your dignity was laughing at how you promised never to give in to the witcher because he was a fuck boy in their dimension.

Who's cackling now?

Right. Your strength of character was, because you didn't seem to be quite strong for lewdly moaning out his name like a prayer in the middle of the night. Those raunchy ugh's and oh's will continue to haunt you down.

Geralt's expressions seemed to be unreadable still, until you've seen his lips pucker a little, slightly tilting his head as he tried to sit up, "I'm taking the blankets off."

You tried to stop him and held onto his shoulders, softly clawing at the back of his disheveled, chalky white hair as the touch wasn't making you feel any discomfort for the first time; would you even feel uncomfortable after being bonked all night? you probably hugged him when he had rode you off to wonderland for a couple of times already.

"Wait---no!"

His unkempt head fell on his pillow with a soft thud, vaguely turning his head till you were within an ace of breathing each other's oxygen.

The witcher kept still and hushed. His gaze falling on your semi-dry lips as he quietly listened to all your questions; ceasing from saying anything less than his breathing, "It happened, didn't it?" he became more blasè when you've thrown your queries at him in a hurried pace, not giving him a chance to answer, "---I didn't have a wet dream or something?"

As more as you talk, letting the panic rise to your head because of the shame you felt that maybe he would feel used after being so in need for such a passionate impaling; the sex being done out of help or because there was no other choice for the pain to stop, those sly fidgety fingers of yours topped off his thatch of hair that laid upon his chest, tracing the notch of his medallion as you heard him lowly hum in delight.

Geralt only answered you with a lazy blink of his eyes, heedful of your fingers mindlessly caressing his skin because you were anxiety-filled as of the moment. He let you, always will; with eyebrows tightly furrowed together as he was trying to retain the image of your sweet, seraph face, scruffy hair and painted skin that was filled by witcher bites.

You pouted. Your lightly swollen, grouchy morning face go on about how your core felt sore from how it has been penetrated hours after hours end, "I'm sore. You sure I didn't just got prank by Jaskier and somehow stupidly sat on a pole that stabbed my reproductive organ?"

The sexy, hot, and stark naked white wolf subtly shook his head, his palm retracting from behind his head as he moved his thick arm, slipping beneath the white covers. Determined for his listless touches; strong fingers gliding behind to rest his palm against the small of your back.

His touchy-feely gestures made you swallow the collywobbles, rapidly blinking back as you hardly believed he was actually touching you back. Far as you remembered, when you hugged him while his hair was being braided, Geralt went stiff and still, never knowing what to do with your sudden, impulsive actions.

Your words stumbled after each other, slightly stuttering at the perfervid gaze he opted to give out of his wits, "Great! No...no more sacrifices of virgin women to witches now?"

Geralt was still voiceless as he remained speechless. Your image in the morning placing him in a trance. You awkwardly cleared your dry throat, wincing because of how stupefied he appeared to be. Your hand quickly came to cover your mouth, stifling the embarrassment because of how he seemed to be blown away by particular things you didn't know about. One of your guesses was that he was dumbfounded by your morning breath, "Oh, my morning breath. Explains why you're not talking, Rivia."

You've warily stuck your head in between the crook of Geralt's neck and clavicle after being forthright. The touch of your skin against his knocking him out of his reverie as he tried to turn his head to see your face, but failed to do so; your face thoroughly hidden in his peripheral vision.

"No. That's never happening." he hoarsely murmured; answering your 'sacrificing a virgin' question. His timbre awfully deeper and rougher than most of the time. This was his morning voice then, and you were sure your heart began to wildly flutter because of his fingers behind the small of your back; absentmindedly brushing his calloused palms against your delicate skin.

You mumbled against his shoulder, speaking tone more sotto voce and inaudible. But, the white wolf heard everything. Your tone turning pocket-sized because of how scandalous the question have been.

"I'm not a virgin anymore then?"

He granted your question with an affirmative hum, his answer felt like you were tickled under your palm as you were still being a scatterbrain.

"We'd really...?" you trailed off dubiously. The train of thought left like a scattered path that had an arrow as to what you really wanted to mean. You've felt his chest exhale a sigh before he lowly spoke and frankly continued the sentence for you, "Bed you?" the witcher grouched like he wanted to scoff from how beyond belief you sounded, "---Yes, midget. I did. We did."

Geralt felt your shoulders shaking, your mouth exhaling stifled, mirthful giggles as your face went flushed from the reality of your virginity being taken by the witcher.

A dashing mutated human who came from a different world. He was like a character that existed in a game or movie. The type of television series that you would love to watch despite of having many seasons for it based on how interesting his world have been. Less frightening through a gadget rather than experiencing it in real life though.

Your first experience with sex and it had to thankfully be with Geralt of Rivia.

"Oh..Ohohoho," you expressed your faint simpers, feeling Geralt's fingers turned still as he waited for you to continue like he always does, "---You're not serious."

He sensed the slight snigger in your tone, the disbelief somewhat dripping in strong because of the thought. Though, there was also a bit of worry to it because you were probably agitated of what would happen after this; like it was just the start of something bigger and you knew it wasn't just the girth that has piped you in like a broken faucet which is needed to be fixed all night.

"Geralt of...Mmmhia and me," you mused before feeling his fingers brush up your sides; the butterflies in your stomach tickling your insides making you partly squirm from his touch. Your body oblivious of the modest shiver of your body that has automatically responded to the witcher's touches.

A pair of soft, pillowy lips rested upon your shoulder, pecking your silky skin that somehow had a purplish bite and the witcher tried soothing it with a kiss.

"It happened. Even more than once."

You've tried hard to suppress your exhilaration from how the witcher has been acting. Staying in bed with you, saying good morning and most of all, boldly kissing you or in every parts of your body whenever you're together. It was an obvious notification that he was a lot more brazen with you alone, by preference; Geralt appeared to be like a person who lets his walls down when you're the only person he's with.

A deep, baritone chuckle was heard after your toned down squealing. You swiftly lifted your head to meet the diablerie eyes of the white wolf, his mouth in a tight-thin line before winding his long fingers around your nape, pulling your face close until his lips met yours, his vermillion avid to give you a passionate one when he planned to only give you a soft peck that would make his gluttonous cravings contented.

Nevertheless, he knew it wouldn't based on how he wanted to rile you up again, all day. Just those naive, coy innocence of yours was enough reason to continue his corrupting.

You've held a hand on his chest when he tried to deepen the kiss, lifting himself up with an elbow while he continued to connect your lips to his; smoothly molding as one before you've felt his hoary hair frame your face, paving the way till you were laid flat upon your back; Geralt's heavy, muscular weight starting to crush you. His soft kisses that turned choleric had a hidden agenda when he tried placing you under him, and you knew what strategy he was playing.

Your warm palms stopped his ministrations with a hand on his bewhiskered, chiseled chest. The look in your eyes savvy for what he was planning for; feebly doing it so as you were puny with just one aflamed kiss from the witcher. His spirited kisses were cut-short, a coquettish look within those glowing amber eyes that gave you the tingles when you were trying to grasp how you've fantasized to have his weight crushing you as he laid on top; then now it wasn't just a fantasy of yours as it turned into a reality.

"We actually did the birds and the bees then, if you're that comfortable with kissing me, Geralt."

His features appeared to be like he couldn't-care-less, until such time his taciturn self had slipped a small smile or two making you raise a skeptical brow. Geralt tried to put his lips back to where it came from before you've tutted with frisk.

The latter deeply groaned to himself, cocking his head to the side when you've received an unusual balk from a man who rarely expresses himself. He dejectedly rolled off you, seeing him raise a skeptical brow. Geralt's cynicism catching you off guard like he was an adult who has never been given what he wanted.

"I had you all night," he claimed, sounding totally point-blank as he sat his ripped back against the wooden headboard. The covers just below his torso as a trail of trimmed hair was hiking down a path that had your fingers cursory signing the cross like you were being whispered by the devil on your shoulders.

He didn't seem to mind showing you his sculpted body that was carved by the gods, after screwing with him, he became pretty much as bold as brass unlike you who was still sheepish about your naked self hidden beneath the covers. Well, if you had a chiseled body like Geralt of Rivia; you wouldn't be shy of it at all.

Geralt's lips were slightly curled up in a sneer as he sat beside your laying, timid form. You shifted across the bed, rolling off to the other side till you weren't facing the goading, ghost-voiced witcher---who sounded so hot nevertheless---and you saucily concluded, "It was just...a wet dream of me being one horny woman. Not real."

You can sense that he wanted to scoff, feeling his eyes tickling your back because you knew he was still staring.

"You begged for it," he spoke as a matter of fact.

Oh, he's wanting a debate in this one. You thought in the back of your mind. Discomfited by the truth that was set free. Much to your chagrin, his frank discussion made you jump on the bed, sitting upright with the blankets covering your chest as you let out an incredulous gasp, feigning the whole act that you didn't know the veracity held within his facts.

His gaze was entirely pooling with mischief and a little bit of pride as well. He was close-lipped when his features began to endearingly soften, ushering your heart to turn mushy from how evocative his gaze held; tinting your face with a blush that certainly couldn't be seen through the naked eye.

"It--It was the scar's fault! You didn't need to be so blunt about it!---also stop looking at me like that!"

Your heart was on edge like it was standing on the ends of the cliff, waiting for the catapult to just be done with Geralt probably standing below you with open arms. You've given him a faltering glare that consists of ambivalent emotions soaring high.

You didn't know where to look, eyes shun away from the man. Briefly shifting from the windows behind him; lately realizing that his wide ranging built actually had him covering the sunlight for you as you slept. A hand clutched the blankets tightly in front of your chest while the other hand had you fidgeting over the disarranged bed covers; tapping and tapping till it ceased when you've felt Geralt's fingers grazing along your chin, turning to look him in the eye and you swore breakfast was already served before you even know it.

"That wasn't the issue when you've left me alone in my chambers---trying to upset me when you've braided my hair,"

He deeply mocked as you feigned another gasp. It galled you that he was accusing you that you've left him upset yesterday. He wasn't just the only one who was aggrieved from the whole situation.

"Excuse me---?! What are you actually trying to point out here? Now, you think of me like I'm some...some woman who planned this all along and--and---!!" your train of thought was cut off midway, forbearing what you wanted to say as the witcher raised a brow in understanding; knowing what you meant.

A promiscuous woman. Geralt never thought of you that way last night when you were caught in the heat of the moment especially experiencing the effects of the Cicatrix. He found it definitely onerous mostly that he also could feel what you felt; happiness, sadness, fear, anxiety, vexation and a lot more that could vary. Though, the witcher would know what you felt when the emotions were already clouding up your mind; filling them until it was the only thing that runs in your heart before sensing it.

The whole intuition about sensing each other's feelings still had no answer. Though, both of you knew it was also because of that bizarre mark that was carved in between your breast; knowing full well that the hunger you had for each other causes it at the same damn time.

Geralt's lips curled into a faint, kindly beam that had his eyes glowing in odd compassion.

"I don't. You're still my midget,"

You tightly blinked, words jumbled all together with a disbelieving stammer, "Your---midget? Yours?" and subtly pointing a finger at him as you were entirely gobsmacked from his sudden admission and roundabout claiming towards the whole midget thing.

Does this mean he was your witcher then?

He averted his beautiful cat-eyes away, lowly humming beneath his chest and fleetingly shut his peepers, the isolation of being with you overwhelming him a lot. The solitude of being alone as much as possible; away from people except for Jaskier and Cirilla sounded calming. But, when you came along; your happy-go-lucky and naivity of yours swept himself off his feet no matter how emotionless he appeared to be.

Your sweet, bashful and intriguing presence was beyond overwhelming to his withdrawn behavior.

After hearing a hum from the witcher himself, you've hardly scooted away---thinking better to have breakfast in bed, no kidding---but chose to be practical and avoid a slip of your flushing face, turning your bare back away from Geralt; feet falling flat on the wooden floors as you straightened your back, lazily stretching as you softly mewled---that got the witcher burning holes on your back and also feeling himself twitch under the covers because he heard it so well.

You've felt his thick, long, calloused fingers brush against the small of your back, gliding along like he was insinuating at something.

"Another?"

He actually didn't mean...that, right? you silently talked to yourself, clearing your throat, ceasing your actions; gaze fixated at Geralt's used black buttoned tunic that was tossed to the floor.

"What do you mean, another?!"

Your tiny squeaks echoed around his chambers, chary of what he was hinting at that made your eyeballs pop out of your eye sockets from how he still wanted sex after having at least just two hours of nap. You were blissfully spent last night, utterly drained and here he was, the witcher was wanting more.

Was this one of his perks in being mutated?

His fingers gave you a slight tickle, rough voice turning velvety like silk, trying to scrub that determined but utmost wobbly state of mind when it came to your witcher. Geralt's fingers brushed along your spine, languidly tracing till the periphery of your shoulder blades that emitted a breathless exhale of your breath from his mere touch, "When I told you I would indulge your curiosity all night long and days thereafter, I wasn't lying."

Your skin felt so supple and satiny; the way he coveted all night wasn't enough to keep him sated. Satisfied. No. If it was possible to have you in a week of constant ravishing; he would delightfully do so. But, no. You didn't have his stamina nor do you probably feel comfortable by the sensitive feeling you were experiencing as of this morning.

Yes, you were sore. Very. But, the soreness was worth it in your perspective.

You hastily grabbed onto the used tunic, slipping your arms over the huge shirt in which Geralt loved seeing on you but he definitely wouldn't admit, "Oh! As much as I remembered, you never wanted this coochie in the first place! Telling me it was the Djinn effects or some sort!"

"---Midget," you've began your mockery, parodying his baritone timbre like a loser, trying hard type and Geralt couldn't help but place you under his scrutiny, his succulent lips curling into an amused smile as he silently watched you make a fool out of yourself, "---I don't deserve it. I'm guessing it's the Djinn's work that is talking---who's the liar now, huh?"

The witcher exhaled a long sigh, drowsily blinking as he added nonchalantly, "A shame." he stifled the amusement in his tone as you turned to see him slightly imploring to persuade that dead set decision of yours. Your reactions were priceless, even so; he kept his bulge twitching in anticipation for another wave of bliss because every breath he hears surprisingly makes him go gaga over you.

"---Spare me five minutes."

You looked at him like he has grown three heads. Unblinking from his risquè intimations of having your fantasies ticked down. It only needed a 'yes' from you and breakfast will immediately be served right thing in the morning.

Geralt of Mmmhia licked his lips, gaze narrowed as he was seeing the unwavering look within your eyes.

"Ten." he bluntly proposed, stifling a chuckle that made you want to just throw yourself at the witcher but you were a strong woman---though, your eyes have been a huge traitor against the strong will; raking along Geralt's body maybe more than once to admire him in the flesh. Yet, also the tragic experiences that his scars held.

You would ask him about it someday; deciding that you wouldn't want to ruin this rare mood of his.

"Must it be half an hour?" skeptically, he mumbled and blurted out in the open with a hum that snapped you out of your reverie.

"A liar indeed. You don't just take five minutes. Your five minutes consists of six hours or more! Probably even days!" you shook your head knowingly, subtly pointing down below as you sheepishly batted your eyelashes back to the staring witcher who was intensely doing it; with you who was gesturing to what he wanted, "---You're not having this,"

With a simple wiggle of your fingers he knew you wouldn't budge, nor was the white wolf even serious. Geralt was just sending a jest or maybe it also held a little bit of real talk if you would allow him for his wishes.

He'd feast ones eyes as you slid your feet off the bed, with bewilderment in his golden peepers. He opened both palms on either side, gesturing with his hands in astonishment  from how you've curved him away, giving the morning bonking a miss. Geralt raked you from head to foot, having a thing about wearing his gigantic clothes that obviously didn't fit like a glove.

With the tousled hair, abnormally painted skin and body ache you were feeling, it was enough to get his agitating hunger firing up.

You heard him grouch as the bed squeaked, warning you that the witcher has stood up on his feet; unintentionally giving his exposed body a once over as the bare-assed witcher grabbed onto his leather pants, fumbling with the hem of it; looking out of the window as the sunshine hit his body in a staggering way. His derriere was phenomenal, the swell of his ass was remarkable; out of this world and you couldn't believe that he'd actually...finally...let you have him.

Pulling out an all nighter didn't kept your curiosity still; even then, you planned and wanted to have another soon when you weren't sore enough, if he'd let you.

"Yeah," he stated in point of fact, receiving a panicking yelp from you when he'd turn around; his disrobed nature never disturbing him despite with you in the room, a daring gesture that he certainly didn't mind if you would stare because you were free to do so. Your reaction got his lips curled into a small grin, the sun making your bruised skin glow in ways that got him complimenting his work of art.

"---Until that weird Cicatrix of yours starts giving effects, the domineering lady would waver,"

Alas, the cicatrix was not giving you effects. But, just seeing him standing buck naked; had your will shaking from the time out you opted to happen. It was probably a bad idea to even suggest a short suspension of the activities he wanted to receive.

Three days have passed. After your nightly penetrating with the witcher and the morning after when you've hushed his off-colored ideas, you didn't know he would be so salty about it.

Geralt was still Geralt; silent, unobtrusive and basking in his own solitude with his horse at all times. Regardless of his normal behavior for wanting to be alone, you understood that it was already a part of his personality that you've known since the day you've arrived.

When you meant that you wanted a timeout, three days wasn't what you tried to point out. The burning coil stirring and pooling below your stomach calmed down in some way or another when you've given in to the desires it wanted. Hence, after that carnal desires it controlled; it wanted another thing as well. Though, this time around; no Cicatrix was controlling you to feel this way.

You wanted Geralt's attention after spending most of his time with Roach rather than his midget.

He wasn't entirely avoiding you at all costs, pushing you off the side or something like that but his gestures were minimal especially with Jaskier and Cirilla hanging around. No hugs, no kisses or no touches when you both were surrounded with his family's presence especially that they had guesses about what happened that night.

Jaskier knew it all and heard what happened. With all the grunts and hushed moans in the middle of that particular night, he blamed himself for telling Geralt to just give in when he would've realized that his room was beside his. The constant whump of Geralt's headboard hitting the adjoined walls that he had with his made the bard grab all his pillows, deciding that it was better to sleep on the hallways instead.

Geralt's withdrawn behavior was a run-of-the-mill habits of him. You were beginning to ask yourself if it has ever been a dream; the nightly ravish and torrid kisses that has happened, but you were wrong because you've woken up one time in the middle of the night with the witcher behind you as you slept on his bed, feeling his burly arm surround your waist, and unexpectedly spooning you to sleep.

You knew it was him because you've jerked from his sudden touch; in the midst of a nightmare that got your heart palpitating as you turned in your sleep. He heard your troubled whimper, taking a peek from behind your back to see if you were deep in your slumber. You were, but he'd heard your heart beat abnormally thumping louder like you were being chased and the latter knew you were caught up in a nightmare.

He gently pulled you around, turning you to face him as you've unconsciously flutter your eyes open, seeing burnt out glowing amber eyes which made you thoughtlessly cuddle closer to his neck. Humane, baritone shushes rocked you to sleep, feeling more protected that you wouldn't have a nightmare of being chased by monsters anymore now that Geralt was beside you.

Be that as it may, his actions were baffling you because after that nightly cuddle session, he was out of doors; never telling you where he went as he came back home at around nightfall without anyone telling you where he went; not that Jaskier and Cirilla knew because they also had no idea where the he went.

Here you thought, witchers can't be petty over such a little thing.

Surprisingly, Geralt was going to be the living proof that they knew how to act like one. It was like he was having a manly period and acting complicated was one of the effects; would chocolates simmer his pettiness down? you doubt.

"Hmm." The witcher was crouched beside his horse; giving her a look before scanning through a half ripped parchment paper that had an awful sketch of his face and yours; one he had retrieved from the guards that tried to forcefully take him when he was away to hunt a Bruxa.

He heard your soft padded footsteps coming down the stairs. Geralt knew it was yours because you had your own pattern; like it was a pebble being thrown in the water. Faint, gentle patters that only you can do in the perimeters of his household. Thusly, he kept the paper close to him, slipping it through the band of his pants as he rose to his feet; the sound of your feet taking a hesitant step close once he'd felt you nearby. You were hesitating, shy or probably thinking too deeply again.

Hence, your bashful company has lifted a suppressed smile on the witcher's face before it fell in just a hot second.

"My...sweetheart of a witcher," You coyly poked through his silence, taking heedful steps close. Your boots lightly scraping along the pastureland, trudging to where you could see Geralt and his broad shoulders.

The endearment you had for him struck an involuntary cringe. He swiftly turned on his heel, facing you with his eyebrows tightly scrunched together like he didn't know what to truthfully feel about the whole pet name. You gave him an unimpressed fall of your forced smile, completely nonplussed that he seemed to be peeved.

"What's with that face? You don't like it? Is it that too cringey? you looked like you've seen Barney and realized he was an awful, scary dinosaur for the children!"

Geralt exhaled a breath out of his mouth before peering down at you; disregarding your modern references for now because he knew it was a banter, his eyes doing that beautiful narrowed smolder that made you want to smack his face...with your lips.

"You're doing it too."

You snobbishly crossed your arms across your chest, shrugging off the timidness as you held your head up high. Literally. The compelling sarcasm drizzling out of your mouth as you declared, drawling out your words like it sounded seething and with emphasis as Geralt couldn't help but tilt his head to the side, considering the snark that you wanted him to be aware of.

"Fine. I'm ticking that out. Honey, then? Cause you're as sweet as honey then became too salty and tried spending more time with Roach rather than your midget."

Who was petty about being subtly ignored now?

Y-O-U.

Geralt shifted his weight on both feet, the glint in his eyes telling you that he was finding the topic rather amusing when you're all riled up for being out of his reach. He'd done that for you. Isn't that what you wanted? space? a timeout? yet, why were you being mad about it then?

"My darling witcher," you started again with a pinch of sugar; the endearment sounding like a threat when you've seen his eyes subtly scanning your clothes. He'd given you a scowl. His gaze felt heavily dragging as he bore in mind at the image of your taut, hardening nipples that was poking through the tube part of your dress.

The crisp breeze of the wind passed through the air, licking up your spine that ignited a reflex from your perky breasts, your dress more see-through as Geralt inspected such a modest outfit which you never worn ever.

Nevertheless, its effects that you wanted to portray through the outfit got him eager for what plans you hold; appearing to be so innocent, demure and sweet with that princess-like sleeveless dress. You had plans. Cunning plans for the witcher, indeed. Sometimes, that naivity running in your veins contradicts with the threatening tone that somehow slips through your mouth; like a bane from a baby snake because of how innocuous you wanted it to be told.

Your innocence somehow had ulterior motives and dark shadows behind your cherub face and small height.

"Stop it." Geralt lowly grumbled in protest, the sight of your nipples stirring the heat inside his pants. You've caught a glimpse of his eyes rolling in disbelief, making you exclaim out loud, "I'm squeezing so hard for your sweetness to come out, Geralt. Pay heed for my effort, will ya'?"

The latter loudly sighed, turning on his booted heel to brush through Roach's mane; he tried to ignore your get-up. But, the dress was doing magnificent effects to your whole being. You were as pretty as a picture, captivating on its finest because of how effeminate its design was decorating your body.

Geralt gave you another once over, probably staring a little bit too long for his 'self-control' to shake.

"You're wearing a dress." he uttered a little bit dull for you to accept. Words frothing with lethargy as he continued to give his attention more to his horse that made you withhold a huff because of how you were feeling disregarded.

You went all the way out; wearing a pretty dress just for the witcher and here he was, brushing off your presence like he didn't like what he was seeing. You were sure you were dolled up from head to foot; even had Cirilla helping you tie the strings behind your back to keep your stomach in tact.

Jaskier even had a good start of the day to send compliments when all you've receive from him was insults; his words noting that you were looking rather feminine and pretty with the dress you've bought back in the marketplace and the witcher here couldn't even look straight into your eyes nor give you the attention you've been hoping for?

Your face fell from his lackadaisical response, eyeing Geralt in dismay who still had his back face-front. You were thoroughly disheartened, shoulders slumping while you stood beside the towering white wolf; voice sounding nasally from how dispirited you've felt.

"You sound like you're telling me I look like a whale in this pretty cute dress with that scowl on your face---Thank you for your kind honesty, my lord."

Geralt sauntered around Roach where his bag has been strapped to his horse, you've tailed behind him like a puppy. He rummaged through his leather bag, mumbling his reply in his most sluggish tone like a wiseacre.

"You want something from me. Obviously." he bluntly commented, digging in his bag for a thing he bought from Babeth.

You cocked your head to the side, shrugging your shoulders when you've heard Roach neigh through your honest confession induced with sheer sarcasm.

"Your attention.It’s what I only need! What else? It's like begging to a rock, I swear. You don't even hold my hand, give me back hugs, kiss me on my forehead like in the movies or those sweet gestures that men usually do. Roses! Daisies! Love letters! But, does your world have roses though?---What? you screw me all night in one day---wrecking my punani then ignore me the next? excuse me, Mr. Casanova---"

He briefly ceased his ransack, sparing you a glimpse of his impervious amber eyes; silently asking if you were actually serious with this complaining of yours before quickly revoking the admission with a snort.

"---Pfft. Okay. I'm shutting up."

Geralt went back on digging through his bag pockets, his thick fingers seeming to give him a difficult time as he couldn't help but deeply groan to himself, the scowl etching on his face growing tighter when he couldn't seem to find it. In the midst of searching through his bag, he could hear your toes softly tapping on the ground alongside with your fingers lacing behind your back and tapping against each other while you get a hold of what you were about to actually ask; like a child asking permission from her guardian.

"Jaskier and Cirilla will be visiting Cuthbert," you quietly started, uncertain of what his answer would because the last time you've tried jumping out of their household, he came home entirely maddened over the fact that you were wandering around the woods at night. However, today you would dawdle through the woods in the morning.

"---Can I come with?"

He talked under his breath, "No. Stay."

You slightly turned your head, jutting your ear his way because it sounded like an incoherent rumble of his voice that you didn't quite believed to hear and so, you repeated; much clearer and with emphasis.

"Jaskier told me they'll be bringing Kolby with them so he could wander around a little bit. If a Hirikka can come with them. Then, I suppose I can---"

Geralt cut you off in a curt manner, "Stay." he repeated his word more gruffly than the rest.

You instantly pouted from the dismissal of your request, glowering back at the witcher who was turning a deaf ear; still going through his stuff as he kept silent which caused you to sulk because of how he couldn't seem to get the bottom of why you were being petty like him.

"I thought you needed to do some monster hunting again?"

A strand of silvery hair fell from the side of Geralt's temple as he simply turned to give you an indescribable look in his eyes, tight-lipped but not much of a scowl and close enough towards a frown as he gruffly asked.

"Do you want me to leave?"

An immediate answer was sent to him; a hasty shake of your head as your features turned rigid while you quickly didn't hesitate to answer, "N-No! Of course, not!"

"Then, no. I'm not leaving you." he nonchalantly aforementioned. Finger brushing off a metal string he was finding for.

Geralt decided to stay a little longer before he went out and about to search for the Bloedzuiger he needed to annihilate for the town. He'd given Durriken a two week deadline before he finds the beast in the swamps. Though, the witcher didn't expect to actually take him a week before going on his way to kill this monster because he'd estimated his hunt to only be four days tops. Howbeit, he was stalling and chose to hunt for the bruxa that Jaskier lately mentioned near the ruins and close enough for him to go home when he wants to.

The white haired witcher never puts a brake with his job because he knew that this was the lives of people they were talking about. Yet, when he has encountered the chevaliers of Kaedwen, hunting for the Bloedzuiger that his old friend has requested somehow took him more than a week before actually starting his pursuit.

The day after tomorrow. Geralt would start to find this monster in the south swamps.

"You're not really going to let me go?" you utter so suddenly, huffing out a frustrated breath because you felt like you were being quarantined after the whole incident. It was fine if Geralt was thoughtful enough to entertain you; giving you a little slip of what was running inside his mind, talking to you instead of his horse and a lot more that could serve as entertainment for you.

There were no television, wifi, computers or places you know that were safe to jog in without being eaten by their monsters.

He clipped his bag shut, his fist closed as you tried peeking to what he was holding but his big hands made it difficult to snoop around. Geralt was tightly clutching onto the thing he was holding that made you cross your arms for the second time around, your eyes giving him a glare that didn't move him because he knew you weren't actually mad; just annoyed.

"Fine! I've wasted using a dress then. You know I never like wearing this type of clothes!"

"You're also wearing that because you have other things in your mind,"

Yes, it was to keep Geralt's eyes only on you and not his horse; trying to stir whatever you could for him to never leave your sight.

You rolled your eyes; trying not to appear like you were caught like a deer in headlights, "Great, now you're wanting to be adopted by the x-men or avengers," pause. "---You read minds now too?"

The latter softly exhaled a breath out of his nose. His muscles straining against the black under tunic he wore; sleeves folded till the ends of his elbows that accentuated those protruding veins in his forearms that looked so powerful and strong. You cleared your throat when he'd crossed his arms, the ends of his lips faintly curling when he'd lean his head to the side, quietly watching you fret.

You gave him a nod, misunderstanding his silence that he was trying to shoo you away, anxiously biting the insides of your cheeks, looking straight into his eyes as you thought out loud, "Alright, I'm not going to leave the house. I'll...try and find ways to spend the time,"

Turning around your heel, you were ceased from doing so as strong, thick and warm fingers held onto your shoulder; halting you from leaving him alone. Your heart skipped a beat as he did, his touch sending a bolt towards your stomach, electrifying the butterflies living inside to wake up.

"Wait." Geralt suddenly rasped.

"Did you change your mind now---"

You've tried to turn around, eyes hopeful that he wanted you to stay. His strong hand held you still. Silver met silver as it chimed from behind, a tiny grinding of metals faintly crashing against each other before you heard another grumble of curse words from the witcher who towered from behind.

As blasphemy left his lips, a string of metal looped around your neck followed after. His incoherent babbles quite fathomable as you could hear and comprehend that he doesn't do this kind of shit, complaining why did he even bought such a thing. Another low rumble of the word 'fuck' was all it took for Geralt to impatiently clasp onto the lock with his patience running low, taking him five tries before successfully connecting the hook; his thick fingers awfully difficult for the small jewelry to hold onto.

"Geralt," you were stunned, looking down to see the necklace that has caught your eye back at the marketplace.

It was still glowing like it used to, the coral green color beautifully twinkling against the sunlight. With an excited turn of your heel, you were feet close with the witcher; peering down with a compassionate haze in his eyes that made you grab onto the stone that lay before the valley of your breasts. His fingers still clasped on your shoulder, "This is---this was the fae necklace from Babeth. How did you know?"

Geralt avoided the question with a lick of his lips, taking a glimpse down at the necklace before staring back onto your face. The stone complimenting your glow that only you could radiate, "It'll suit you." Pause. "---The necklace also serves as an amulet to keep you out of harms way,"

"How did you know I liked this?"

You were dumbfounded; peepers quizzical and gaping at the colossal hunk of a witcher. He looked around the field as he breathed, trying to form words that he wanted to say but chose the savory answer of what he actually meant.

"I....just know," he trailed off, warmth trying to embrace you in solace when he let his words flow like a boat sailing in the ocean, smooth and steady; also direct to the point.

"---Your wishes for a man who could offer you a lavish life will never be granted. I can never be the man in your fantasies, midget. I'm not what you think I am; a prince or some nobleman in this world. I’m the least you expect or hope for,"

His jaw ticked as he continued to speak, amber eyes downcast as his face turned impassive; words turning slower than the usual, "I try not to be what they say I am after years end," pause. "---I am not entirely evil nor am I good. I've done things far more worse than any kind person would wail about. People have considered me as a monster for relevant reasons because I've killed their kind with my sword---specifically, fiendish people as I see fit,"

"---But, If I could choose one evil or another, I prefer not to choose at all."

Geralt never broke his gaze away, nor did you find any lies beneath the windows of his soul. Every word he say was the truth as he tries to truly explain what he was in their world, sending a message that he was the boogeyman living inside your closet or a monster haunting you under your bed. The horrible type of personification of what he actually was. Yet, you never see him as one.

With all words that has been said, you couldn't learn to despise him because you knew he was beyond more than that. Important. Valuable and also needed to be shown that ill will and animosity aren't the only sarcastic good that every world can offer. There was kindness; in which he shows no matter how he didn't seem to be aware of. Care. Love. Hope. Eternal happiness.

You knew your heart was screaming it; silently shouting back at the witcher that there was more to the world that it can ever offer and you aspire to be that person to show him what it is he seem to be rejecting.

The latter was heedful of how gentle you were gazing up at him. Thus, he continued, mindless that he was lost in his dismal thoughts of the life that was given to him, "The whole continent, they despise my kind and where ever I go, shit happens all the time,"

Geralt seemed to grit his teeth, humming in displeasure when his features curved into a wince for whatever he had to say next, "---It's the fucking destiny that was bound for me,"

A sudden heavy feeling crept inside your chest; crawling towards your throat and triggering you into throwing a hissy fit of sobs that pushed the tears falling right before your eyes. The abrupt shift from feeling sympathy turned into a mournful midget. Tears being an answer that you were with Geralt in this for whatever he was fighting for; having no idea that his fight could be total carnage and here you thought he was just like Bucky in the Marvel Universe.

People calling him that he's a villain when he certainly isn't because he was brainwashed or had no other choice.

Perhaps, Geralt could be like it. He'd done some kind of evil because he had no other choice too. 

He could be a monster but also a hero. 

"Why...are you crying?" the white wolf didn't know what to do. Should he hug you? wipe your tears? do men in your world do that when a woman cries? Geralt just stood tall and stiff beside Roach who had stepped back till she had her head close to him.

For anything Geralt can ever look for a horse, she'd somehow neighed and nudged his face; promptly hitting the witcher on the side of his face which caught him off-guard; quickly glaring at his horse as she offered another clear whinny which got another piercing glare from the man himself.

"I don't even know! I think it's because you're also feeling this way but you're not the one crying!"

You were in the midst of expressing your feelings. Your impulsive self hastily grabbing onto Geralt's hand that had him raising a quizzical brow. He momentarily took a glimpse of your fingers lacing in between the spaces of his. He'd never remembered that he had done such a thing before; holding hands while standing in the middle of the meadow, his hand that has tasted blood from different kinds of living creatures or people.

Those sensitive, delicate and sinless fingers of yours gripping his; connecting and enveloping against each other as one. He'd never expected for it to feel this way.

It was quite satisfying and calming; making him feel like he was protecting you in some ways because of how his palms were rather large against yours.

You sniffed your cries away, roughly wiping them with the back of your free hand. Stepping more to his side; his height towering beside your small form as you have given Geralt a look of query, "Why are you holding my hand, Geralt?"

It was a ridiculous joke that laced with sarcasm. He didn't seem to decipher what you meant and heard him sigh with a suppressed smile on his face; fighting off the beam.

"I didn't. You held onto it in the first place,"

"Oh, right. Heehee!" you simply shrugged your shoulders and puckered your lips, giggling after seeing the smile rising those tight-lips. You've waved the awkwardness off as the witcher didn't seem to know what holding hands meant. Add the fact that his hold didn't seem tight and comfortable.

"Isn't holding hands a thing in this world of yours?"

"No." He simply answered, wondering if he needed to clasp his hands tighter. Geralt was about to when you've patted his fingers to relax and grope yours, eventually slackening.

"Oh. Okay. Then, hold me like you're scared to let go, Geralt."

The white wolf mutely complied to your satisfaction; warmth that his hand could provide felt so secure as his grip turned firm like he never did wanted to let go if possible. He tipped his head to the side, watching your face contort into a felicitous image that he had already seen; recognizing the smile that he has seen in the dream that the Djinn wanted him to see.

A dream where he was also smiling the same way as you did.

You were definitely in a more jovial mood after receiving such an adorable gift from the witcher; gifts that he certainly wasn't used to giving, gestures that make him uncomfortable but he tries his best to show that he wasn't what people think he really is and that mindset was enough for your heart to jump in felicity. You've tightened your intertwined fingers.

"There. Better!"

Geralt heard the faint rustle of the winds; hitting you both in a chilling phantasm of the air hugging you in the cold. He heard a twig break from the far distance, it was imperceptible to the ears of a normal human; but not to him.

This wasn't the only time he'd heard things out of the ordinary, some were harmless animals but mostly were beasts that could harm people when hungry. The sound was faint and stealthy; sounding like this beast didn't want to be seen nor caught.

His head snap to where the sound came from, seeing nothing but an extensive lineage of trees swaying from left to right. You've given Geralt a look of doubt, seeing him narrowing his eyes at the far end of the meadow. A simple shake of your hands interlaced together interfered his perusal of something or someone lurking from behind the woods.

"Geralt, come on! I need to show you something and it's about Kolby! He's acting weird!" you tugged onto his hand, walking forward as you tried your hardest to pull his weight; he knew you couldn't and so his concern flew right above his head when you've looked back with those pleading doe-eyes of yours, receiving not anything less than a hum from Geralt as he'd fully had his attention diverted because of you.

"Hmm."

ANOTHER SMUT WILL BE ON CHAPTER 15.1 WHICH WILL BE UPDATED NEXT WEEK, OF COURSE! HEHEHEHEHE. FEEDBACKS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED! CAN I JUST SAY THAT I WANT TO BE THE READER SO BAD? 

Taglist for WOTN: @alyxkbrl​ @himarisolace​ @barkingbullfrog​ @ayamenimthiriel​ @hellodevilslittlesister​ @vania-marie​ @spookypeachx​ @grungelovebug @fangirl-inthe-us​ @nympeth​ @amirahiddleston​ @gabethelobster​ @dreaming-about-starfleet​ @uncoolcloudyhead​ @melaninstylezz​ @psychosupernatural​ @missjenniferblog @dance-dreamer @marvelousell​ @kingniazx @angelias134 @tapismyforte @chook007 @covid-donotenter @winter-moons @cheesecakeisapie @silverkitten547 @angelofthor @carrieannewaywardson, @plantingmum, @stuckupstucky, @shesthelastjedi, @a–1–1–3 @gutfucks​ 

Overall witcher taglist: @pizza-eater-i-ate-the-pizza

[origami10]

Ajin ch 86 thoughts

Okay, it’s been a little bit! Thoughts and spoilers under the cut! (Warning, this is very long)

Writing this in a word doc because a) I don’t want to risk going on tumblr and b) I don’t want to risk the post getting deleted in the middle  [note from the end: this ended up being four pages long in a Word document, so I’m sorry]

Ahhhh, last time buying the digital magazine ><    Until... if... Sakurai starts publishing something new...

It seems kind of unfair not to have Ajin be the cover feature if it’s ending DX I guess they’re just starting with a new series, though. Is that how that works? (It has a main character with white hair so I might be interested...) It’s at the beginning of the mag.

Okay, yeah, pages 111-175.  Aggghhhh I’ve always put off reading the end of series, but I think this is the first one I’ve been up to date with when it actually ended. Promised Neverland was close.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ooh completely new characters...?????? whoops overshot the starting page by a few ughhhh it’s definitely the last one... I mean we knew that, but still..... OMG NO IT’S IZUMI AND TANAKA ISN’T IT??    jeez woah  I can’t wait to hear other readers’ reactions    [edit: yes this was about clover, and she recorded her reaction, which was beautiful ;u;] also omg they’re at least appearing together

omg Sakurai’s author’s note: “It’s very cold, isn’t it. Everyone, I hope you don’t catch a cold.”       YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT’S ENDING?

okay, so at least some time skip Tanaka: New identity, who dis Ooh, Izumi called Tanaka “anta” – the rude/familiar version of ‘you’, rather than the polite one. Honestly I don’t remember but it’s probably what she called him previously. And then turns around and called him anata the next page X’D  Okay, I’m glad that not being consistent is okay in Japanese, I always worry/wonder about that ooooh so Tanaka doesn’t have a new identity YET. I wonder how long it’s been?? omg Tosaki prepared it??    Was he thinking that far ahead? Or is he not dead....   ???  okay so he made it ahead of time     oh, and Izumi was the one who asked him for it??? Oh wow, Izumi has yet another change of identity. I wonder if she’s back to (omggg I forget D: her original name... Tainaka [hah]) Also another great shot emphasizing their height difference X’) lmaoooo I always love when there manages to be some humor oh, they’re only about three years apart! I wonder if that helps pin down the timeline at all??

Aw, Izumi still respects Tosaki lmao  “I’m going home.” “You really have places to be?”  Oh I guess that wasn’t quite it- she really was wondering if he was had a living location... so he has been kinda on the run ><    [Sakurai. Sakurai, happy ending. There is, right? Right?]

Oh dude I really didn’t think we’d get any resolution on that ship and like, idk if this counts as resolution but it sure looks like it does right now okay I’m really sorry but part of me is like ///we’re using so many of the remaining pages on this///  although oh I guess it’s only been 10 pages... it feels like so many since the chapters have been so short lately...

heyyyyy  I mean we kinda knew the U.S. ajin would be back or else what was the point of introducing them Ogura not being dead at the end of the series is extremely impressive (also hopefully Kai :prayer hands:  as in I think he survived) so Ogura didn’t tell them he was coming back huh ... with the crew??? :eyes emoji: lmao AND they thought he was dead, I’m cackling oh okay so they had heard he wasn’t dead the close up of Jim’s face reminds of Kai somehow I guess this manga isn’t so long (and the U.S. ajin left enough of an impression) that at least we’re not like WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE “I’ll kill you!!” “Go ahead!!”  HA Winnn I think the people in this series need to get their idea of ‘fun’ checked I don’t really understand what he says in the bubble after that... I’ll have to check the English did he like, metaphorically die because he’s out of FKs? I’m not up on my cigarette brands enough to know if that’s an FK or not... I think it’s what the brand turned into...? oh no what’s this omg    is it gonna be Kai? Are they all gonna be in there? Kotobuki??   also this is already super sad that not everyone got out of jail free... unless they did and I’ll see... but also it’s realistic so all for the best I guess?  i have no idea OH HA I thought it was the juvenile detention center but it’s Takahashi !  o_o not entirely sure I understand what Takahashi says to the guard either at least everyone’s having... fun??? KAI KAI KAI    gahhhh this looks exactly like how ch 69 started and agh they’re both in juvie but ahhhhh they’re together??         I’m already scared to read and actually find out –o- oh wait they have dates to get out!  and they said plural ‘we’ “That was fast”  I feel like that panel represents what this chapter means to me somehow lmao they just want them to be not their problem anymore... that really wraps it up nicely, hilariously, and realistically I’m glad I’m not translating this because there are really a couple lines where I don’t completely understand them “something happened that day”  um, yeah WOW I did NOT think we were going to get an answer to whether Kai was an ajin now or not, but I feel like that definitively answers that question?????     also that’s terribly funny HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW KEI REVIVED HIM??       -punches a wall-  Kai’s whole personality is  ‘I don’t really remember that happening’  >_____________________________> Kei... gave Kai a reason to live... because he almost died...?      I still kinda have faith in this wrapping up well but GOD Kai is not a character to invest all your emotion into, laughs cryingly Kotobuki: “You literally never make any sense, man.” oh no “ano natsu” GAH

I just realized that this almost certainly means Kai and Kou never met. There isn’t enough keysmashing in the world to express my desire to throw my laptop at a wall right now

In no way shape or form did I ever expect to get closure on Akiyama, even on him getting out of the barrel

Manabe definitely stole whatever it is he’s holding but it was probably some kind of personal effects...?  [my powers of prediction suck most of the time] he really looks beat up now ;u; Izukyū-Shimoda... Win, that’s not where you traveled, is it?  Maybe I saw it on the Sunday NHK travel program... but it’s also the end of the train line and has ferries going out into the ocean islands.  Is he getting away, or going home.......? or to Hirasawa or something...?

well that was an extremely abrupt shift are they really shooting Satou up into space they’re not using him as a test subject are they that sounds like an even more awful idea than I ever could have come up with okay... oh jeez can we please please not have Satou be Captain America you just KNOW he’s going to make trouble again, ,, , , ,!!

oh jeez Eriko! I didn’t expect to see her but it’s nice! it’s really sinking in that that’s all the closure we’re going to get on Kai isn’t it Eriko tsundere as if that needed confirmed okay cool, so she’s out of the hospital (for now)

It does seem appropriate? Likely? That Kei didn’t go home. WE BETTER SEE KOU THIS CHAPTER oh, it’s fall   (or winter? Izumi said it was cold...) oh phew

Sakurai said RIP KeiKai shippers I guess....  but they still influenced each other so that’s still shippable even though they’re not together?  sigh not everything is so straightforward and I guess it’s good it reflects that

Kei looks happy enough was Kei working a blue collar job with Kou or something? That’s 100% unexpected Kou adorable omg what is his new name gonna be Also ;-; so they’ve giving ajin rights but everyone’s still staying undercover...? or Kou isn’t I guess, that’s sweet oh wow we admit Tosaki’s great     I guess last chapter’s statement that they found his remains must have settled whether he’s alive or not ‘iroiro atta na’  YOU THINK    also pretty sure that’s Kai’s line from the drama CD what’s with that Kei face??? OMG PERF       also that is scarily close to what I wrote in a fic, but also pretty much to be expected crap I guess at least Tanaka and Izumi are with each other? KAI’S MOON JACKET   WITH THE SMILIE       we really messed up characterizing Kai as the sun haha he’s out he’s out he’s out is he going to meet someone literally zooming out on everyone (like at the end of last chapter too) is kinda messing with me Like they’re still around and doing stuff but we aren’t (don’t get to) watch them anymore Kou saying ‘let’s all meet again’... my heart is warm ;0; LMAO

we can at least rest assured that everyone stayed in character

I can’t I can’t I can’t  [note, this was when I thought Kei saying ‘nah’ was the last page]

O MM FRICKING GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

omg Sakurai you’ve done it again bwahahaah a coworker hit him and is like ‘oh cool fine nevermind’ this is WAY more hilarious than I was expecting for this chapter How do I always forget that Ajin has so much comedy not remembering what page number the chapter ends on is nice

Tankobon releases May 7th in Japan Elizaaaaaa Kei’s got a Shion coat

alright uh well I guess that’s good, in a way, we still get to imagine whatever we want

Finishing it hasn’t sunk in yet, I’ve have to get back to you on that one.

[kylorengarbagedump]

Little Bird: Chapter 27 (NSFW)

Read on AO3. Part 26 here. Part 28 here.

Summary: You were having such a good time before you were reminded of what you needed to be doing for the Resistance.

Words: 5000

Warnings: glove kink 

Characters: Kylo Ren x Handmaid!Reader 

A/N: >tfw you have your husband wear the shoes of your other husband bc you're a slut for a silver-tipped boot

Hello! I just wanted to say I was kind of blown away by the feedback I got for last chapter? Thank you guys so much? If you're unaware, my life has been sort of crazy, lately--if you google Kylo Ren, an article about Fix Your Attitude is currently the first result, haha.

I've deeply appreciated all the support, engagement, and love I've received for my writing. This fic is the apple of my eye, and being lucky enough to have people connect with it and enjoy it is truly THE gift for any writer, at all. I can't thank y'all enough, some of whom have been reading the garbage I crank out for like, 4 years. It's absolutely humbling and baffling, to me.Anyway, enough of my rambling. 

Hope you enjoyed the fucking, because, to quote my true love, we're not done yet.

The sun had set. The party had begun hours ago.

You’d remained upstairs during the opening service, the three-course meal, folding and flipping the hem on your dress. The fabric was slippery, soft, a cold creek on your skin--refreshing, liquid relief, filling your lungs with air that had never known enslavement. It was enough to trick you for seconds into thinking that you could slink down the steps without hesitation, find your Commander’s eyes in the crowd, and sidle up to him. Like his partner.

But the lightless loneliness of your room crushed that dream.

A knock on the door, a hammerfist. “The Commander requests you.”

You blushed--your cheeks were tight. “All right.”

Greeting the Knight at your door, you followed him into the hall, down the steps. He didn’t even pay you a second glance, but you’d kept your bonnet and your boots, not brave enough yet to let your hair hang free in front of anyone but Kylo Ren. Descending into the home, the tinkle of  piano keys floated through your ears, joined by the babbling of strangers. The reality of it smacked you--you were about to reveal yourself to a crowd in a champagne-pink gown, with your wrists peeking out and your ankles kissed by chiffon. Your heart thumped--thank God you weren’t in space, or you might have confused the heavy pain with an alien ready to burst through your chest.

Following dinner, light in the home was supplied only by strategic white candles placed on hall tables; you felt like a concubine, being led through a castle passage to the king, scurrying with your black-clad escort aided only by tiny flames. He guided you to the piano room, stopping at the threshold, but you were frozen. Just beyond the Knight you spied a few dozen people congregated together, some chatting, a few couples dancing to the music. You couldn’t stand the thought of moving, of entering that room as if you belonged.

But you were a survivor. You did belong. After all, this was Ren’s idea--not yours.

You swallowed, stuck your chin out, the click of your boots resonating up your calves as you crossed into the piano room. At first, you were invisible, an observer--you spied Armitage and Dolpheld chatting with an older, silver-haired man. The rest were faces you didn’t recognize, except for two: Finn and Rey, swaying in rhythm, murmuring to each other under the melody. And then, at the back of the room, almost hidden by the crowd, you glimpsed him--your Commander, staring off into the wall while Johana, serene and smitten, guided him through a reluctant waltz. Something speared your gut. No dress in the world would afford you the ability to earn the space she occupied.

So strange you could envy her position under a man who was the very enforcer of your conflict.

The first people to spot you were Rey and Finn, pausing in confusion as they reconciled your appearance with their knowledge of your role. The next couple noticed them noticing you--and it spread. As if in a recording, each new person glimpsed you and stopped, a slow-pause of shock rippling from the epicenter of your dress. The final pairs of eyes belonged to Johana and Kylo Ren, their gazes searing you simultaneously. Her expression collapsed to something strange, muscles twitching with disbelief, a wave of horror spilling over her face. She blinked, an apparent impulse to tear herself away, but despite it, kept staring.

It was then that finally, crowd parted, you saw him--and the ground opened, a pit of lust swallowing you whole.

Commander Kylo Ren, in leather gloves, tugged at his sleeve, a black velvet jacket cut tight to his frame, open to a brocade waistcoat. A shift of his feet, wrapped in pointed, silver-toed boots, a tapered end to the trousers that were slim against his long, powerful legs. At his breast pocket, a sterling chain hung loose from his lapel, glinting in the candlelight, highlighting the absence of a tie. And his hair, full and thick, brushed his shoulders in raven waves, the crown swept into a loose, soft bun at the back of his head. He captured you in his gaze, paralyzing you, desire dripping from his eyes.

Despite being fully concealed, you’d never felt more naked, more exposed. And you’d never wanted a man more than you wanted him, in this moment, in your entire life.

The tension in the room ballooned, every person looking between you and Ren, and Johana squeezed her husband’s hands.

“So!” The insincerity of her smile bled through her teeth. “I suppose the Commander would like to make his announcement… regarding, uh…” She blinked. “This, uh…”

“The existence of Handmaids is an unfortunate necessity.” Ren’s gaze traveled over you in millimeters, cementing your image to his mind. “Recent rashes of disappearances and suicides threaten this necessity. Experimenting with small allowances--increasing satisfaction with Gilead--may provide us with greater compliance.” His lids fell in a slow blink, his stare met yours again; the glittering ache inside it failed to match his words. “And who better to advise me in this venture than a Handmaid herself.”

“Yes, that’s right.” Johana patted Ren’s hand, like she’d been part of the plan all along. Her attention kept dancing over the details of your dress, as if there was something familiar there. “It’s important that our Handmaid feels loved in our home. A part of our family. We’re so proud of what she’ll be helping to bring other Handmaids in Gilead.” She grinned at you, opening her arm, inviting you into this new family portrait. “Isn’t that right, Ofkylo?”

Every gaze in the room rested on you. You looked to Ren, then to her. “Yes, it is.” Nodding, you crossed the room, face hot as you allowed her to coil an arm around your shoulders and squeeze you just slightly too tight. The guests gawked, murmuring between themselves as Johana’s nails dug like talons into your flesh.

“He’s really so brilliant,” Johana said, gazing up at her husband. He was impassive. “That reminds me!”

She shoved you off, and you stumbled forward into the crowd, catching the twitch of concern under Ren’s lid. Affection and excitement tickled your skin, a buzz at the back of your brain. Being acknowledged as his advisor to the public was somehow thrilling, despite it marking you as complicit in Gilead’s clutches. It wasn’t the position--you had no intention of advising him--more so that for a moment, in his eyes, you’d been someone. You clung like a leech to these hints of his affection, of his acknowledgement of your personhood.

An arm tugged you around, a whisper in your ear. “Meet us in the downstairs washroom in twenty minutes.” Rey’s voice.

You cleared your throat and nodded, disappearing further through the guests, toward the entrance, hoping to escape the attention that swarmed you. At some point, you’d need to find an opportunity to slip away.

“As many of you know, Commander Snoke’s Wife, Christine, is now a Widow.” Johana was ushering some of the Wives forward, their husbands watching them with suspicion. “Many of you also know how my late husband, Moden Canady, died in service of founding Gilead. What I found helpful…”

“Ren lets her talk far too much.” In front of you was the silver-haired man, leaning in to mutter to Armitage. “What’s this Handmaid nonsense he’s going on about?”

Armitage peered over his shoulder at you, annoyingly smug smirk plastered on his lips--you were beginning to wonder if it was a permanent fixture. “Ren’s young and inexperienced. He won’t be around for long. Neither will his plans.”

You frowned, crossing your arms. “One might think you’d be the one person supportive of his allowances for Handmaids.”

A flicker of fear crossed his face. “What?”

Johana clapped her hands. “So what I’ve devised is a prayer circle. Here’s how it will work…”

The crowd was shifting, gathering toward Johana, the bustle and music swallowing the cadence of her voice. Behind you, the Knight Templar stood at the threshold, a silent sentinel. Part of you wanted to continue sniping at Armitage. The other part realized that with murmurs of dissent already apparent, you couldn’t guarantee who the Knight was there to protect. ‘

Ren--or you?

You set your jaw, offering Armitage a brief curtsy.

“Excuse me.” The distraction created a serendipitous opportunity to escape. You went to pass the Knight, who blockaded your exit. “The washroom, sir.”

He glanced beyond you, and you followed his gaze. There, you saw your Commander, and heat rushed you again, a tangible longing that whirled like wildfire across the crowd, stoked the both of you, two flittering moths, in its flame. God, he looked incredible--you could devour him, like this, and you knew he’d stormed with that same need since he’d raked you over in your dress.  

Ren nodded at his Knight, and the spell broke. Right. You were meeting with the Resistance. Shaking the hunger from your eyes, you realized he had stepped aside, allowing you to pass. With your head bowed, you shuffled into the hall, quick steps taking you to the washroom around the corner, and you escaped beyond the door.

Incandescent mirror lights gleamed on shiny subway tile, stark along the black accents in the floor trim and the polished clawfoot tub at the far wall. You stared at your reflection in the mirror, resting on the sleek ceramic sink, cheeks still glowing. The dress looked better on you under this lighting, the chiffon almost lustrous against your skin. No wonder Ren had been so entranced. The idea pressed your thighs together.

Focus. Thoughts flurried as you anticipated Rey and Finn’s arrival, what they’d want from you, what you’d say. It was true--you’d been a pitiable spy, so far. All you’d managed to do in your tenure for the Resistance was get fucked by and cum on your Commander’s cock (oh, and get bathed in blood and call him Daddy--you shuddered). Something told you that wasn’t the type of subversive action they’d been counting on. At the same time, you felt at a loss for what to do, regardless. He’d destroyed his information cache, and he’d spent the past couple of weeks recovering from injury.

It was frustrating, to feel more hope for your future with Kylo Ren than your future with the Resistance. You seemed perfectly capable urging him toward minor change, but when it came to taking action for the group that actually had your freedom in mind, you floundered, a hapless child.

The door opened, you spun--it’d only been about 30 seconds since you’d entered--and in slid your Commander, eyes trained on you while he locked it behind him. You blinked.

“Comman--”

Ren snatched your hips, spinning you over and shoving you onto the sink as his lips smothered yours. That flame from the piano room roared, drenched in the fuel of your connection, your skin flickering to life. Your fingers dove into his hair, wringing around his luscious waves, and he groaned, slipping his tongue into your mouth, a large hand coming to cup your head, to trap you there, the other coasting up and down your side.

Your legs spread for him, welcoming him, cunt already throbbing in anticipation. For a brief second, you pushed away, running your hands over his velvet chest, taking a moment to admire him, to soak in how absolutely fucking beautiful he looked. Ren did the same, seeming new, somehow, a reverent awe in his gaze, not just feral, but tormented, needing to have you in his arms. His lip twitched, and he kissed you again, jerking you closer, sucking in air through his nose while his tongue swirled over yours.

Whimpering, you caressed his shoulders, up his neck, finding his hair once more, fingers teasing the warm, hidden shell of his ears. At this, his back crested, and he moaned, pitching forward, nearly shoving you into the basin as he trembled.

“Fuck,” he breathed. “You’re fucking beautiful.” He flipped up your dress, warm leather smoothing over your skin. “I need to make you cum.”

A shiver shook you from the base of your spine, and you curled your legs around him, core clenching hard. Your hips rolled forward, seeking his touch, and he grazed your pussy over your underwear, thumb ghosting your clit through the fabric. You squeaked, and he silenced you with his mouth, tugging at the fabric until he’d fit his thick fingers under the hem. The spark of leather-on-skin earned a groan from your throat, and you combed through his hair, meeting the fervor of his kiss.

Ren peeled away, gasping, watching you as he slid a digit through your hot slit, his breath hitching. “So wet for me,” he murmured. “And all mine...” He dragged a slickened gloved finger over your clit, the sensation new and delicious--you quivered, biting your lip. “Only for me…”

You nodded, inching forward, the only articulate words escaping as please, please, please.

“I’ll make you cum here,” he said, “and I’ll make you cum again before the party’s over.” He leaned close, his middle and fourth finger teasing your entrance, lips hovering over your ear. “And by the end of the night, the only thing this pretty mouth will be able to say is my name.”

“Oh--” you began, and he plunged into you. “God!”

He snickered. “Wrong name.”

Ren crooked his fingers in your cunt, focused on your flushing face, the tempo of your intermittent gasps, his breath shallow as you clenched and pulsed around him. A leather thumb traced rapid little lines around your swollen clit, the seams tripping over the nub, and you snuffed a whimper in your chest, staring at him. He wet his lips, pressing his mouth to yours in a brief kiss as he snapped his wrist, curling and scissoring inside of you. His hips rocked with his rhythm, and you saw the outline of his impressive erection straining at his pants. Your hand burned to stroke it, to feel it.

Chewing your cheek, you reached for him, grasping at his trousers, unzipping them and tugging everything down his thighs, length springing free, smacking his clothed stomach. He barely seemed to notice, so lost in the heat of your cunt in his hand. You scooted closer and wrapped your fingers around his warm, heavy cock--he choked, jabbing you deep, forcing a quaky breath from your lungs. Swallowing, you tightened your fist and stroked him, watching him from half-lidded eyes.

He throbbed, twitched under your grip, blood biting his cheeks when you coated his head with the bead of his pre-cum, and his breath was uneven, tattered from the weight of lust--but so was yours. Ren circled your stiff nub, pumping his fingers into your pussy, and pleasure wracked you, pouring into your pulse like perfect poison--a feeling you should never have wanted, but would now die without.

“Christ,” you mumbled, “Commander--”

“We’re alone.”

“I’m your advisor now, though.” You managed a half-smirk. “If we’re caught--I wouldn’t want anyone thinking this was anything more than an official handjob.”

Ren tilted his head, something devilish and dark and amused in his gaze--and then he kissed you again, shoving his tongue past your teeth, canting his hips in pace with your hand. He was smooth and silky and so big--in the back of your head, you couldn’t believe you’d taken all of him--the memory had you clench and groan into him, and his cock throbbed in your palm. The air was humid, thick with sex, dizzying you, shooting static through your skin.

“Fuck,” he muttered against your mouth, “you’re so tight…”

You hummed in delight. “And you’re so hard…”

He eased back, meeting your eyes, both of you slowing to stop as something slammed you in succession, a chasm of greed opening between your bodies. A snap, an ignition--in one smooth movement, you’d released him while his fingers left your core and yanked your underwear to the side, cock thrusting into you with a sweet sting. Ren hissed in bliss, sheathing himself in your heat.

“Yes…” He grappled your hips, encasing them in leather, fucking into you, watching his dick disappear into your pussy. “This is what you wanted all along, isn’t it?” he muttered. “To be my little whore?”

You nodded, mouth dropped in ecstasy, head fighting not to fall back onto your shoulders. “Yes, Commander…”

“I knew it the moment I saw you in this dress, staring at me, pleading to get fucked.” Shuddering at his own words, he groaned, shifting closer, murmuring into your ear. “I want to fill this cunt up with my cum...” He strangled a moan in his throat, pounding you, pinning your hips against his. “I want it to drip down your legs when you walk out of this room…”

“Please...”

To your intoxicated mind, nothing sounded better than dripping with the cum of the most beautiful man on the planet. Desire had consumed you both, his pace embodying complete desperation, a frenzied, urgent need to bring you both to orgasm. Ren’s strokes were rough, painful, incredible, your breath catching up with your brain, the euphoric fullness of his cock ready to fling you to another plane. And then his gloved thumb slid over your clit, beating it in time with his thrusts--you cracked, crying out.

“Yes!”

“That’s right,” Ren growled, “that’s right--you’re mine, you’re mine...” He pressed his lips to yours, short and sharp. “I can cum inside you whenever I want. I can make you cum whenever I want...” He was slamming you deep, panting with every snap of his hips, your pussy hot and slick and pulsing with your oncoming climax. “Cum for me.” He kissed you again, mouth millimeters from yours. “Cum on my cock, little bird. Let me make you whole…”

Rapture numbed you, at the edge of your skin, a typhoon ready to wreck you witless. “Commander,” you whispered, “I’m--”

A knock on the door. Both of you froze, fear puncturing the pulsating swell of pleasure with a wheeze. Your skin crackled, oxygen returning to your blood, and you felt him seated inside you, throbbing at the base, a furious demand to cum. The denial of release snipped your nerves to stubs--and judging by the tension in his jaw, Ren was doing no better. He looked to you expectantly.

You swallowed, cleared the hunger from your throat. “Oc-occupied.”

“Oh.” It was Rey again. Dammit. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “We’ll wait for you out here!”

Ren raised a brow. In a way, it was good that in this moment, he was still half-hard, stuck inside you--he wouldn’t get to know who the members of the Resistance were that had dared to show to his installation celebration. You shifted away, but he gripped you, held you there, waiting for you to respond, his stare inspiring sweat at the back of your neck. Unfraid, you held his gaze. He’d said himself that your association with the Resistance didn’t concern him. Even though that had been before he’d taken over.

“Meet me by the annex stairs.” You took a long breath, clenching around the girth of his dick--but he was already slipping free. “There’s too much going on here.”

“Got it,” she said. “See you in five.”

After a silent, awkward moment had passed, Ren tugged you against him, stuffing his softening cock into you, and you squealed. “You’re still meeting with the Resistance.”

“I am.” You wouldn’t let your chin tremble. “I thought you weren’t concerned.”

He considered you, muscle fluttering under his eye. “I’m not,” he said. “You’re fortunate that I’ve spent too much time already away from my guests. Any other occasion would see me hanging them tomorrow.” Pushing off of the sink, he tucked himself away. “Another day, then.”

His brow drawn low, Ren ran his gloved hands underneath the water before wiping them clean. He said nothing, spearing you with a glare before he unlocked the door and stalked into the hall. A slow sigh escaped you, and you wrung the guilt from your heart. His small concessions hadn’t changed your position--he must have known that. So why did he have to seem so hurt?

And your body was still wondering why it hadn’t gotten the orgasm it had been wanting since you’d drank him in. You eased yourself onto the ground, wincing at how swollen your pussy still felt between your thighs, and shook it off, making your way to the stairs.

You found Finn and Rey, posted near the landing rails, and you snuck up to them, head on a swivel.

“I just scouted,” Finn said. “Ren’s in the piano room. We’re clear for the next few minutes.”

“Got it.” You blushed, realizing that they had no idea that just moments ago, he’d been in you. “What’s going on?”

“What’s going on?” Rey said, a sly grin on her face. She gestured to your outfit. “What’s going here?”

A tornado in your mind, words you wanted to say: I can’t stop fucking my Commander. I think about him constantly. Together, we drew vines, and when he held my hand, I didn’t hate him. Since Gilead, I’m lost, but in his eyes, I feel found. He wants to own me. Sometimes I want that, too.

Instead, you said, “I’ve ingratiated myself. He thinks I’m so eager to change Gilead.” You snorted. “It’s a perfect opportunity to do whatever you guys need.”

“That’s great!” Rey said. “I knew you had it in you.”

You’d had something in you, all right. “Thanks,” you said. “It was… nothing.”

“There’s rumblings already in the lower ranks,” Finn said. “Some are thinking that Ren staged a coup and got the Knights to cover it up.”

For some reason, your heart sank.

“With how quickly he took over, the changes he plans to make…” He looked between you and Rey. “There’s heavy suspicion. But with Christine’s testimony, the lack of evidence, they can’t prove anything.” Now he stared at you. “You were there. Do you know what happened?”

More words at your tongue: We killed Commander Snoke together. He saved my life. I saved his. We fucked in the blood of Snoke’s men. The water ran red while Ren filled me with cum. The air was soaked with death. I’d never felt so alive.

But instead: “It’s like Christine says. A guard killed Snoke.”

It confused you when it left your mouth.

“Damn.” Rey frowned, crossing her arms, and glanced at Finn. “Do you think he set it up, somehow? Maybe he was working with the guard? There has to be some proof, somewhere that he orchestrated this. He couldn’t have done it alone.”

Just upstairs, in your room, you had the knife--the switchblade Ren had given you, still crusty with Snoke’s blood. It was physical proof that you’d been there, that you’d stabbed him, that you and Ren had lit the match together. You could, in this moment, hand it over, tell them the entire sordid story, begin your own journey toward emancipation. You could watch Ren crumble, and let him take Gilead down as he fell.

A simple choice. It should’ve been a simple choice.

Yet all you could remember was kneeling at Snoke’s feet, Ren’s gaze meeting yours, and the incontestable truth you’d felt there--that against any of the impossible odds in that home, he was choosing you. And that in that moment, for reasons you still couldn’t know or understand, you’d chosen him, too.

“I’ll see if I can find anything,” you said, knowing you wouldn’t even begin to look.

Poe’s words, you’re a survivor, floated through your mind. He was right--you were surviving. But maybe you didn’t really deserve to.

“Great.” Rey patted your shoulder in camaraderie. “This is tough work you’re doing.”

“But look where you’ve gotten yourself so far!” Finn made a motion along his body, as if he’d put on a dress, too. “You’re obviously doing something right. Just keep it up. You’ll crack it.”

You were doing something right, if that something was getting fucked by your Commander in the washroom during his own party celebrating his installation as the leader of a totalitarian government. You’d been doing a great job at that, actually, until the group meant to unshackle you from slavery interrupted you. A shame, that.

“We should get back to the party,” Rey said. “Being gone too long looks suspicious. You head in first. We’ll catch up in a bit.”

You nodded.

The sensitivity between your legs still needed time to disappear, but you were able to make your way back to the piano room without waddling. The piano’s autoplayer was now running through a raucous, jaunty tune--it sounded like Largo al factotum. Not that you were a music expert, but you’d learned enough to know that. Either way, you were thankful for the noise that muffled the sound of your boots as you breezed past the Knight Templar and back into the music room. You tried to weave your way through to crowd toward Ren--even with the Knight here, you felt like every pair of eyes had pinned a target to your back.

You found him in the corner of the room, far from the piano, in conversation (debate?) with Armitage. Johana was at his side, her arms crossed.

“There’s plenty of ways we could be utilizing these precious resources,” Armitage said. “You insist on wasting them on something as fickle as reconditioning.”

“Fickle.”

“Yes, fickle.” He scoffed. “When we already have a fully-trained infantry. What we should be focusing on is building our navy. The biggest threats come from--”

Ren flicked his wrist in dismissal. “The biggest threats come from the West coast,” he said. “California, in particular, has made overt threats toward the Republic of Gilead.”

The chatter of the crowd was dying as the two men traded barbs, focus being drawn to the little corner where you’d hoped to disappear. Largo al factotum entered its second chorus. You’d remained silent, but Johana still managed to spot you. Her gaze darted over your dress again, and she narrowed her eyes.

“What is your goal, then, Ren?” Armitage still looked smug, even in challenge. “England has already made threats to assist the West if we push forward with any sort of idiotic manifest destiny--”

“The goal is to sanctify the rest of the continent.” Ren regarded Armitage as if he were, by any measure, the dumbest person on Earth. “Reconditioning our forces will make it possible for us to expand our reach to the West coast. To crush any opposition.”

“Crush.” The lilt in Armitage’s voice didn’t make sense until you realized, in horror, his attention was on you. The melody soared. It was only after he’d noticed you that Ren finally turned to see you, too. “An interesting word to use, Ren.” He paused, making sure he had the attention of the other guests. The piano pounded a rapid repetition of notes. “What exactly are you crushing by giving yourself a second Wife?”

He’d said it loud enough that the back of the crowd could hear. The piano had paused, a full rest in the music. If you’d been wearing your Handmaid uniform, you imagined your face would have been redder than your dress. Ren’s nostrils flared. And the piano picked up without irony.

Johana shrugged, a tiny smirk on her face. “Don’t be silly, Commander Hux,” Johana said. “Of course, we love our Handmaid… but a Handmaid could never hope to be a Wife.” She looked to Ren. “They earn those positions, don’t they? By going against the Bible?” Now back to you. “Who, for heaven’s sake, would ever want to be married to someone like that?”

Your fingers trembled, and you glanced at your Commander. He hadn’t said a word, but hardly seemed passive. Instead, there was a hint of intrigue in his gaze. Curiosity. Observing you, waiting to see what you’d do. Another rest in the music. You took it as permission.

“Interesting assumption the both of you have made,” you said, a model advisor. “After all, I don’t believe most Handmaids are asking for marriage.” This time you met Armitage’s stare again. “Unless wearing a new dress means you secretly want a life partnership.”

He frowned, jaw tight. “So, will we all be afforded advisors, then, Ren?” he said. “Or is this how you reward yourself?”

“Why would a man who makes no decisions of value require an advisor?” Ren replied.

He raised a hand, beckoning you forward with two leather fingers. The memory of where those fingers had been just minutes ago made you shiver--you obeyed, taking a space next to him, opposite of Johana. Largo al factotum entered its third chorus. Her face trembled with scorn.

“Roles are essential, but not permanent. We see shifting all the time--Angels to Commanders, Econowives to Handmaids, Wives to Widows. A Handmaid as an advisor is no different.” He aimed an empty, solemn gaze at Armitage. You felt tall and safe and disgustingly special. “It should come as no surprise that roles can form by necessity.”

Armitage sneered. “You parade your necessity around like a prized pet.”

“No,” Ren replied. The final patter of piano sailed through the air. “I assumed that you’d have difficulty grasping a new concept. It appears I was correct.”

The concluding chords rumbled, and Johana pulled her lips in over her teeth in what you guessed was unexpected, reluctant amusement. Armitage said nothing, and the other guests muttered to each other--you couldn’t tell if it was in admiration or disdain.

“Further questions about my decision can be directed to me at the next Council meeting.” The auto-player began a sweeter, softer tune. This one you didn’t recognize. The mumbling in the crowd grew to full chatter, and Ren looked to the Knight at the entry. “Ruk. Escort her.”

Before you could move, Ren snatched your wrist, so quick and subtle you weren’t even sure Johana noticed. What she <did notice was him leaning to your ear, whispering over it like sable silk.

“I’m not done with you, yet. Wait in your room. Keep the dress on.”

It took every bit of strength you had to prevent your cheeks from glowing. “Yes, Commander.” You cleared your throat, nodding to him and Johana. “Goodnight.”

Her gaze followed you, studied your dress as crossed to the Knight, her arms folded, eyes shiny. The melody in the room rolled into a slow, flooding crescendo. And as you disappeared around the corner, she broke the stare and turned away, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

[gay-otlc]

Monsters- Chapter ב

Previous chapter

Summary (changed from last time btw): Eyphah has monsters in hir head. How much do the monsters have to control hir life before ze becomes the monster?

Content warnings: OCD/intrusive thoughts/trich, religion, cursing, low self esteem, violence, lmk if I need to add anything.

Playlist (if anyone’s curious)

Word count: 1762

“Monster,” ze whispered to hirself again, as ze walked through hir door. Ze swallowed and put on a fake smile. “Shoshanah! I’m home!”

No response.

Heart thundering, Eyphah rushed across the hallway and up the stairs, footsteps echoing loudly. “Shoshanah!” ze yelled again, ripping the door open. The lights were off, bed empty, sheets slightly ruffled. Hir eyes flicked around wildly until they fell upon a sheet of paper resting on the nightstand.

Eyphah exhaled, grabbing it.

Eyphah-

I know you get worried when I’m not here, so sorry to worry you, but I had to fill in for Yakov at the hospital. I won’t be home until late, so you can have dinner without me. I’m alright and I love you!

Love,

Shoshanah.

“Fucking idiot,” Eyphah muttered, setting the note down and rubbing hir temples. Why did ze have to freak out every time Shoshanah didn’t answer immediately? Why did the monsters in hir head have to fill it with images of Shoshanah lying in her bed, unable to move, dying before hir eyes- or already dead.

And ze was still fucking anxious. “She’s okay,” ze muttered again, shaking hir head. Hir eyebrows itched. A lot, like the fear of stabbing someone with hir sword and finding Shoshanah dead had all physically manifested in hir left eyebrow, needing to be extracted from hir body.

Ze pulled.

And pulled again.

And pulled again.

And then wrapped hir hands behind hir back and sat on them, determined not to pull again.

And pulled again.

“I fucking hate you!” ze yelled at hirself. Frustrated, ze stood up and grabbed hir notebook, opening it to the most recent page.

Reasons I don’t want to die:

I want to learn the new sword move.

I love Shoshanah

Shoshanah loves me

Maybe I’ll find a new ahav

No babka when you’re dead

NO RUGELACH WHEN YOU’RE DEAD!

The thought makes me feel sick

I don’t want to die

I don’t want to die

I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die

Eyphah remembered writing that. Ze’d been baking; latkes, was it? It was Tammuz; last month, and one of the summer ones, but ze hadn’t wanted to let the wrong season stop hir from enjoying latkes. The rest of the memory was a bit blurry. Ze opened up hir drawer to get a spatula and flatten the latkes, but hir gaze fell upon a knife.

Ze imagined grabbing the knife instead of the spoon.

Ze imagined quickly thrusting the knife into hir chest.

Ze imagined bleeding out on the floor, Shoshanah coming to discover hir body and screaming.

Eyphah hadn’t opened that drawer since, nor had ze baked.

It was sad. Ze used to love baking.

Baking and sword fighting; those were hir favorite things to do for fun, but the monsters in hir head made hir terrified of that. What would happen next? Would ze have to avoid Shoshanah, someone she liked to do for fun as well?

Do you even love Shoshanah? Or are you just her ahav out of pity?

“SHUT UP!” ze screamed, and wrote down ten reasons ze loved Shoshanah.

The way she bites her lip and looks down when she finds a joke funny but doesn’t want to admit it’s funny.

Her kisses. She tastes like strawberries.

The way her eyes light up when someone calls her a girl.

The little twirl she does when she wears a dress.

Her singing voice for Havdalah prayers.

Her determination to help others.

When she talks about picking her name and has this sweet little smile on her face.

The way she flaps her hands when she’s happy.

How her hand fits in mine perfectly.

Her laugh, like sunlight.

When Eyphah was thoroughly convinced ze actually loved hir ahav, and wasn’t just faking it and toying with her feelings out of some sick sadism, ze threw the notebook down and paced across the room, trying to release the nervous energy bubbling up inside hir.

Normally, when ze had this buzz of energy, ze tried to get it out by practicing with hir sword. But that wouldn’t work now, would it?

Convenient.

Until hir stomach rumbled, ze had no idea ze was hungry, but ze gratefully accepted the distraction of going to get food. Ze was good at baking, but terrible at cooking, and ze hated using the stove anyway- too big a risk ze’d set something on fire. Bagels, maybe? Shoshanah bought bagels yesterday, and they should have at least a few left. No cream cheese, though; ze’d have to use a knife for that.

Eyphah focused on the motion of hir legs, lifting one up and swinging in front of the other, over and over again, until ze reached the kitchen, because otherwise ze’d get too lost in hir own head to move.

Even without cream cheese, the bagels tasted pretty good, and ze ate them quickly. After reciting the birkat hamazon, the sound of hir voice stopped echoing through the house, and it fell silent. Ze was just alone in here, and it was dark out, and there was nothing stopping the monster in hir from taking over.

Maybe ze should go out into town? Ze hated being around people, always had, and ze was probably a danger to them, but maybe it would be better than being alone in this empty house. Eyphah shifted hir weight on the chair as ze thought, and even the creaking seemed to whisper monster at hir.

It was official, ze had gone insane, and Eyphah needed to get out of this fucking house.

After pausing just long enough to leave a note for Shoshanah- Shoshana didn’t worry like ze did, she probably wouldn’t need it, but maybe it would be nice- ze changed into a cleaner shirt, short sleeved and white like before, but not covered in imaginary blood stains. Then, ze left the house and decided to walk to the jewelry store, hoping to get hirself a new magen david necklace.

It was raining lightly outside, the sky clouded over with grey so ze couldn’t see any stars. Disappointing. Other than that, Eyphah didn’t mind the rain much; sure, hir hair was getting wet, and hir scalp where ze had a bald spot, but it felt kind of nice. Calm. Ze could almost imagine that the rain was washing away all the evil that lived inside hir.

Almost.

Slowly, ze breathed and focused on the noise of hir shoes clicking against the pavement, of the rain gently pattering on the windows of the stores surrounding hir. It had been such a long time since ze just focused on what was going on in the world around hir. Most of the time, ze was too caught up in hir own head, obsessed with the past or dreading with the future. Eyphah let hir eyes linger behind hir a little too long, or narrowed hir vision on the world ze was hurtling into, and and never took the time to look around.

It wasn’t so bad.

Ze ran a finger through hir damp hair, making it look a little more presentable, before walking into the jewelry store. Was it even open this late? Maybe ze should have checked that first. But the lights were on, and loud voices flooded the building, and there were people in there. It felt much warmer than hir empty house.

“Eyphah! Shalom!” someone called, and ze started a little, not having expected to be welcomed. It was easy to forget people liked hir, when ze struggled with liking hirself so much.

Ze waved, responding with “Hey, how’s it going?” Hopefully, if ze initiated a conversation, whoever called hir name would come closer to hir and ze would figure out who it was. Their voice wasn’t instantly recognizable.

They did, in fact, come closer; Chaim, Eyphah remembered. They had been extremely close as children; he had done an aliyah at hir B’nai Mitzvah a few years ago, and while they hadn’t spent as much time together recently, they were still good friends. Eyphah smiled a bit.

“Pretty good,” Chaim said, grinning. He was usually grinning, his slightly crooked teeth showing and dark eyes lighting up. His hair had gotten longer since the last time ze saw him, dark and curling around his warm, copper colored face. “I’m getting a boat soon, finally. I’ve been saving up for years.”

“That’s great! I’m really happy for you!”

“Yeah, I leave in a few weeks, but I’ll be sure to write. How about you, anything interesting going on?”

Eyphah tugged at hir hair, a few strands coming loose. Chaim must have noticed the bald spots, wider and more obvious than the last time they’d spoken a few months ago, but he was nice enough not to comment on it. Nothing very noteworthy had gone on in hir life recently, especially not something ze’d want to share with people.

“I’ve been working on sword fighting more often,” ze said finally, omitting how terrified ze was of hurting anyone. “Gotten pretty good at it.”

“Nice! Please don’t stab me though.”

That’s what I’m worried about. “Haha, I won’t,” Eyphah said weakly, clawing at the skin where hir neck sloped into hir shoulder and tearing it off.

Chaim took a step forward in line as whoever was at the front left. Eyphah followed. “A lot of people here, huh? I thought there’d be hardly anyone.”

“Tu B’av is coming up soon, I guess. A lot of people buying their ahavs jewelry.” Eyphah usually made Shoshanah a cake for Tu B’av; ze supposed ze’d have to come up with something else this year. Hopefully ze didn’t disappoint her.

“Right. Forgot about that.”

Eyphah nodded, shoving thoughts of disappointing Shoshanah out of hir head. “Are you here buying anything for your ahav?” ze asked, the corners of hir mouth turning up.

Chaim snorted. Eyphah had thought he would find that funny, considering he had never and would never love people like ahavs, the mere thought that he would was ridiculous. “I was hoping to get earrings, actually,” he said once he stopped laughing. “Lost my old ones.”

“Disaster,” ze teased.

“You’re one to talk, Mx. I got my hair cut because I burnt it cooking.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“You love me, bitch.”

“I do.” Eyphah smiled again- a real genuine smile!- and leaned against Chaim’s wide frame. He made hir feel like a person. That was nice. Ze had forgotten what it was like to feel like a person, not a monster.