#thoughts and feelings are being had on this sunday afternoon i guess

[bisexualvampires]

one thing about endverse cas is that he talks so much like dean. all no dice and i went mortal and god damn i can’t believe we were once again robbed of cas learning how to be human through dean

[powderpinkandsweeet]

Loser Ellie haunts my thoughts

-kinda creepy Ellie, a little nsfw but not so much, apartment living, you live in the apartment above her, she loves some wiggle and jiggle

You crossed her path once in a while since you lived in the same apartment complex. You would smile at her as you passed by, a quiet “good morning” or “hello” exchanged between you two. Your smile was so warm, and your voice sweet. To and from your homes, she savored the smell of your shampoo as you passed in the narrow stairwell.

You lived directly above her one-bedroom apartment. Ellie only knew your name because a package of yours had been delivered to her by mistake. The return address was for a cosmetics company, so it was definitely delivered to her by mistake. She guessed that C233 was close enough to C333 to be a mistake, or maybe the mailman just didn’t feel like climbing to the third floor. Either way, she took great pleasure in learning more about you and standing on your doorstep. You didn’t answer when she knocked, so she left a sticky note atop the box and left it on your welcome mat.

“The mailman left this for me but I think it’s yours.

-Ellie, C233”

Ellie loved how predictable you became. She had practically memorized your routine by the sound of your footsteps or the water running through the drain of your shower and through the building’s pipes. She knew you did laundry on Sunday afternoons because of the dryer rumbling from above. You moved from room to room with soft steps, and she could tell when you’d have company over by pairs of footsteps clomping overhead. She almost thanked the landlord for how shittily the apartments were built. She was fortunate that sound traveled so well across the poorly insulated walls.

Ellie loved how predictable you became. On weekdays she knew you got up to shower at 6:30 and left at 7:30. One day she had trailed behind you as you drove to work, wearing a baseball cap with the brim pulled low and dark sunglasses, hoping you hadn’t recognized her having seen her climbing in and out of her truck in the parking lot.

You usually left work around five, but occasionally you would surprise her by sneaking out a few minutes early. If she stayed a few car lengths and timed it right, she could park and get to the stairwell so she could walk up behind you. Days you wore a skirt were Ellie’s favorite—especially the windy ones. Three steps behind she could see up your skirt, watching your ass bounce and your panties ride up as you made your way up to your apartment. One time she was lucky enough to have her phone out and take a picture. A video would be even better, but she could never get the angle right without being too obvious. She still liked when you wore pants, though. Tight jeans clung to your ass and leggings could ride up between your ass cheeks and your pussy lips if they were thin enough.

The apartment complex had a pool, and in the warm seasons on Sunday mornings you would swim laps. Since Ellie’s balcony was close enough to view the pool, sitting outside and watching you swim became part of her morning routine too.

She would roll and light a joint as you shed your cover-up, putting your hair into a bun and slowly stepping in. If it were quiet enough and she listened closely, she could hear you gasp as you dipped into the cold water. When you were tired enough from swimming, Ellie would perk up as you stepped out. The water dripping down your body, between your breasts, down your spine, between your legs… When you climbed out fast enough she could see your tits bounce in the cups of your swimsuit top.

When sun was down and the nights drew to a close, your apartment was quiet. No more footsteps, water running, or the hum of the TV. Tonight was an exception to the usual peaceful silence.

Drifting to sleep late at night, Ellie’s eyes snapped open as she heard buzzing. It was quiet, so for a second she thought maybe she’d gotten a text, or someone was calling her. She had no messages and the buzzing was going on for far too long to be a phone call. Sitting up, Ellie looked at the ceiling. Your bedroom would be above hers, right? Your bed could even be directly above hers. With how small it was there weren’t many places to put it without blocking the door to the closet or the hallway, so it would just make sense.

Ellie stumbled to her feet on the mattress, and the buzz was a little closer as she was closer to the ceiling. She flinched as she heard the springs of your mattress squeak. Were you alone? Ellie thought she only heard your footsteps, and there were no humming voices at any point throughout the evening. You must be all alone up there.

Ellie could almost picture it, you clutching a vibrating wand in your shaking hands as you writhe on the mattress. She wished she were there to see it. You would tremble under her hands as they gripped your legs and held the vibrator to your clit. You would squeal and beg as she clicked the button on the wand up one setting higher. Ellie would press the head of the wand harder on your clit, your wet pussy obscenely squelching and buzzing as your eyes rolled back in your head and your jaw dropped.

All too soon, the buzzing coming from upstairs stopped. Ellie was pulled from her reverie by the silence, unsure if the cries she heard were real or imagined. Ellie repeated them in her mind as her hand remained stuck in her boxers, coming with your name on her tongue. That night she fell asleep quickly, hoping that the buzzing sound would come back soon.

…

Pt two if you want it 👉👈

[whiskeyghoul]

Pt2. || She blinded me with science || [Spencer Reid x Goth!Reader]

Read part 1 here

Read part 3 here

A/N: OMG I can’t believe how much people enjoyed part 1? Seriously, as I am finishing this part up it has reached over 500 notes, I am shocked and so very thankful for the love. I didn’t expect it. A silly little fic not proof read, totally self indulgent, really this is so wonderful and I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read it and reblog, like or comment on it. I hope part 2 doesn’t disappoint. Part 3 is going to be here soon too, which will be the unofficial date.

WC: 1,9K ~

Tags: Fluff, just fluff, Spencer is a flustered mess, Alt!Reader, Goth!Reader, 2 idiots flirting, Reader and Penelope are besties, use of Y/N, Penelope has been playing matchmaker, alluding to a date, crushes.

Warnings: None. 

Your pov.

It was a late Sunday afternoon. You were sitting on Penelope Garcia’s couch, cup of hot tea in hand. Legs curled up on the couch with a colorful blanket over your lap. It clashed just ever so slightly with your dark outfit. The two of you are in complete contrast to each other. Penelope was a ball of color in a bright purple dress with a lemon pattern, large yellow earrings and a blue bolero sweater. Compared to your all black ensemble she was a ray of sunshine. An array of snacks spread out over the coffee table. The aforementioned peppy blonde was sitting next to you on the couch. Deeply engrossed with the romance show playing on the TV. You watched it together every Sunday, when a new episode would come out. Today your mind was somewhere else completely.

“He hasn’t called yet.” You spoke up. Penelope eyed you curiously, “Who?” She asked, her focus gone from the show. Her eyes peered at you with interest from behind the cat eye glasses she had picked out that day. “Doctor Reid.” You turned your head back to the TV casually, trying to not seem bothered. You could hear Penelope hold back a small squeal. It sounded more like a gasp that way. “Oh my god! Are you interested in him? What did he do to impress you? I have been trying to set you up for ages! You have shot down any person I have discussed with you. Always something wrong.” She started rambling, hearing the clink of her glass being put on the coffee table. Her hands grabbed yours, making you look back at her and rolling your eyes. “Firstly: I am not ‘interested’ in him. Secondly: I just thought he would have called by now. Or stopped by at least.” You shrugged noncommittally. You were just a little interested. Thinking back to that meeting.

When Spencer had stepped into the lab earlier that week, courtesy of Penelope, you had found his awkward demeanor endearing. He was hot, that was for sure, and tall, you remembered having to look up at him, Those dark brown eyes pinning you in place. Especially when you had stood so close together. You had wanted to tease him after watching him stumble over his sentences. See him even more flustered. It made you somewhat excited. When you had given him your number you could feel his pulse racing under his skin. He had shown many signs of being interested yet he hadn’t even texted you. It made you rethink the interaction. 

“Well, he couldn’t have stopped by. They got called on a case in Utah so he’s not really in the area right now.” Penelope clarified. Those words put your mind at ease more than you expected them to. “Oh, I guess he can’t really get to the lab then.” You shrugged. Just a little disappointed but feeling relieved that apparently he hadn’t meant to not visit you. Or maybe he had done so on purpose if he would be close. Your earlier relief was replaced by a mild panic again. Trying to convince yourself you weren’t interested in Dr. Reid. Although, he could have texted.

You could practically feel Penelope smirk as you turned your attention back on the TV. Unable to focus but pretending to. “Spence is not one for texting. He probably has been getting to the hotel at ungodly hours and hasn’t had time to call.” it was like she could read your mind. “Don’t do that.” You said with a shudder. “Do what?” Penelope questioned innocently. “Read my mind like that. It’s weird.” You answered, making her laugh. “Just goes to show how well I know you.” She answered with a smile. It was true. She knew you too well you would even argue. The fact both of you were women in a male dominated field, both dressed eccentricly, and both with a passion for cheesy movies and tv shows. It was only a matter of time until you were best friends after your first run in.

Your phone, which was placed on the table, lit up at that moment. The ringtone played at a high volume, making the cure blast through the room. Your eyes quickly flickered to the screen. Caller ID unknown. You picked up the phone, hesitant of the unknown caller, deciding to hang up instead. You had been plagued by telemarketers for the past month and really didn’t want to deal with that right now. If it was important they would call again. And they did, you still had your phone in your hands when it went off again. “Just pick it up! I will keep watch over our show, fill you in later.” Penelope said, motioning her hands for you to get up. You got off the couch, soft blanket falling to the ground as you picked up the phone. Softly padding away to the kitchen to be out of earshot of Penelope. “Y/n speaking.” you answered, waiting to hear from the other end of the line.

“Hey… ehm… is this not the right time? Are you busy?” The voice on the other end of the line made you straighten up slightly in surprise. “Doctor Reid.” You breathe out his name quietly, adding a “Now is a perfectly good time.” to your sentence. Wondering how hearing his voice through the slightly tin-like phone speaker made you feel a little flutter in your stomach. “Good… I didn’t want to bother you. You can just call me Spencer by the way. Doctor sounds too formal. I just introduce myself like that. It’s a habit. I don’t call you Doctor L/n either. So call me Spencer.” He started rambling. A smile spread across your lips, this rambly version was different from how speechless he had been in the lab. You held back a giggle. Apparently you had rendered him speechless in the lab. “Alright, Spencer.” You answered, the humor in your voice apparent. His breath hitched a little on the other side of the line. 

“Why did you call?” You asked, trying to continue on without dawdling. “Oh eh, the report, I ehm…” He was quiet for a moment. It crossed your mind that maybe he didn’t need to speak with you, but he wanted to. “Yes?” You urged after a silence had fallen on the other side of the phone line. There was an intake of breath from Spencer, a moment that signaled he might be trying to raise some courage. “I didn’t want to talk about the report.” He finally spoke. It made you smile, your cheeks flushing ever so slightly. “Oh, well then what did you want to talk about?” You added a bit of playfulness in your tone. You pictured him, holding the phone to his ears that were tipped red. His face was probably just as flushed as it had been in the lab. 

“I ehm- I haven’t been able to focus, on the case that is. Because I keep thinking about the lab. How I probably came off as a mess, I just didn’t know what to say because you looked so… Not that you look bad because you don’t, you looked really nice. Emily says my IQ gets slashed down to 68 when I am around pretty girls. I wanted to make a good impression. I couldn’t find the words though. I usually don’t make great first impressions, because I tend to ramble. Just- I really really hope I didn’t make a bad first impression.” His sentences flowed into each other like word vomit. Nervous, quick, and hardly understandable. Luckily, you were trained in the art of understanding nervous rambles when Penelope would spiral into one from time to time. However he had called you pretty. “Spencer.” You said his name almost like a question. There was a beat of silence. “Yes?” He asked softly, he sounded so nervous.

“You didn’t make a bad impression. I gave you my number for a reason.” You told him with a smile, a little giddy as the words ‘he called me pretty’ kept bouncing around your head. “And I am sorry I called without any real reason to… I know it was for talking about the report. Though Morgan tried to convince me it wasn’t.” Spencer answered. You rolled your eyes at that. Ofcourse, this hyper intelligent man would mix up what you were trying to do. “I gave you my number because I wanted you to call me. Not about the report. I just wanted you to call me. About anything.” There was apparently a need to clear up that confusion. It was silent for another moment. “Oh.” It was like realization dawned on him. “So I should have called sooner, right?” His question made you laugh softly, trying not to clue in Penelope on your call.  “Yes, you should have. Or could have at least. I was waiting.” You answered back, smiling at the ground. You fidgeted with one of the large rings on your free hand, twisting the cool metal round with your thumb.

“I’m sorry I didn’t.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice. The slight uptick in his pitch. You imagined he was still fiddling with the sleeve of his sweater, or was perhaps looking at his shoes with a grin. “You can make it up to me by buying me a coffee when you get back.” The suggestion came naturally, you didn’t even have to think about it. The words left your lips before you could, really. “What do you like?” Spencer asked without hesitation. “Cinnamon latte.” You answered it softly, a little surprised he agreed so readily. A giddy feeling in your stomach. “Alright, cinnamon latte, I’ll remember.” Spencer sounded a little breathy, like he too was feeling giddy at the prospects of having coffee together. Like the idea of taking time to get to know each other at work over a warm beverage was the perfect first date. “What do you like?” You asked in turn, wanting to know what he would usually get. Knowing more about him would feel so domestic and sweet. “Black coffee, usually with tons of sugar.” He had a hint of embarrassment in your voice. A little muffled like he had covered his mouth to hold in the confession of drinking it so sweet. You smiled at his answer. Of course he had a sweet tooth. “Tons of sugar, I’ll remember.” You mirrored his words. 

“Oh! My! God!” You heard Penelope gasp from the living room. Knocking you out of your little phone call bubble with Spencer. “I think I have to go. You better call me tomorrow.” You said it lightheartedly. Just wanting to hear from him again soon. “I will. I’ll call you.” Spencer answered. “Bye Spencer.” “Bye Y/n.” You hung up with a smile, already turning and walking back into the living room. Penelope turned around on the couch to look at you, “They shot Richard!” She looked absolutely shocked as she gave you the news of your favorite character being hurt. You couldn’t wipe the smile from your face though. “Spencer called.” You saw her face form from a shocked to surprise expression, “Oh! My! God!” She sounded a lot happier that time, and you knew you wouldn't hear the end of it.

[obsessedwithhotmen]

⋆⁎✿ John ⇢ *- You And I -* ⇠ Shelby ✿⁎⋆

⇾ (Peaky Blinders) John Shelby x reader

⇾ Summary: you and John have only just started dating, although John has yet to tell you about his kids.

⇾ Warnings: slight angst, but a happy ending.

Before the handsome blonde had entered your life, you found it to be boring, having nothing to look forward to, just a miserable life with no sense of fun, but after meeting the man in question, he completely flipped your life around.

John made you feel alive, like you had a purpose to live again, and not to mention the adrenaline rush you got whenever you were out and about with him, knowing that no one would dare say anything or even look harshly in your direction, all because of the reputation of not only a Shelby man, but a Peaky blinder too.

You watched as he tapped impatiently against the bar, waiting for the both of your drinks to be poured. It was a Thursday night, but a night that the two of you would get drunk together nonetheless.

It was his decision to hang out tonight, and that always made you feel good about yourself, knowing that he was happy to be seen around with you on his side.

He returned back to your table, a scowl settled on his face after the unpleasant encounter with the barman. “I should’ve taken you to the Garrison, sorry love.” He said, placing down your drink in front of you.

“It’s fine, John. Nothing to worry about.” You brushed it off, waving him off as if to say that it was not a problem. “We won’t let him stop our night, eh?” You smiled up at him.

He slumped down in the seat across from you, a smirk gracing his lips whilst nodding his head. “Nothing could ruin my night, so long as I have you around.” He winked, smiling cheekily as he waited for your response.

You rolled your eyes, mentioning how cheesy he was as you took a sip of your, finally, correct drink. “Got anything planned for the weekend?” He asked.

You thought for a moment before shaking your head. “I’ve got work in the afternoon on Sunday, but aside from that, no.” You answered.

“That works out, my k- uhm. My schedule clear for the weekend. Stay the weekend at mine?” He appeared flustered as he started, before quickly returning back to his usual confident ways.

“Like I could ever say no to you.”

-

You walked out of the pub, smiling ear to ear as you and John swung eachothers hands back and forth, happily chatting away about anything that you could think of. “Sometimes I wish that I could spend every hour of everyday with you.” You sighed, thinking about how great live would be if that were the case.

He hummed, chuckling at your words. “Think you’d get sick of me quick.” He replied.

“Maybe…” you trailed off.

“You weren’t supposed to agree.” He disconnected your hands, placing his arm around your shoulder instead and holding you close.

You giggled at him.

Shortly, you arrived at his home, he entered in first. It was quiet at first, but the second you guys entered and closed the door, kids came running in shouting ‘daddy!’

You frowned, watching as they ran up to him and hugged him. There were four kids, evidently all being Johns, although you were unaware of him having any kids at all. This led you to believe that maybe John wasn’t being as honest as you thought, he never mentioned any kids so maybe he never mentioned any wife.

John glanced back at you, his facial expression showing concern and worry. “Why are you all here? You’re supposed to be with the nanny.” He asked his kids.

The oldest girl stepped forward. “She said that there was an emergency, so she had to bring us back home.” She answered, softly.

“Shit.” He cursed under his breath. “Alright, all of you into the living room. I’ll be down soon.” He ushered them all out and into the other room, before grabbing your wrist and guiding you upstairs.

He pulled you into a room, his bedroom if you had to guess. “You have kids.” You stated quietly, watching him throw his cap down onto the bed and run a hand through his hair.

“I do, I have those four.” He nodded his head.

“Why didn’t you tell me about them?” You asked him.

He sat down on the bed. “Because I thought that it would scare you away if you found out I had four kids, it did every other person.” He explained.

“So, were you planning on hiding them from me for the rest of this relationship then?” You replied.

“No, I don’t know. Look, I don’t know what the plan was. All I know, is that I fucking like you, alright. And I didn’t want anything to stand in between us.” He stood up, approaching you and grabbing your hands, holding them tightly in his own, “I’m sorry that I never said anything about them.”

“I don’t know the first thing about raising children, John.” You said, looking up at him with tired eyes.

“Neither did I, and to be frank, I still don’t.” He responded, “I’m still learning, I still make mistakes, but we can do that together now.” He added, “just you and I.”

“No… no other people?” You wondered.

He quickly shook his head, hands meeting your cheeks. “No, bloody hell, no. Like I said, just you and I.” He leaned in, placing his lips on yours and waited for a reaction.

He smiled into the kiss as you reciprocated it. “Their mother died after the youngest was born. I was still in the war when she passed. There hasn’t been anyone important to me since, but that’s changed now. I’ve got you.”

You couldn’t help but match his own smile. “Just you and I, then?”

“Just you and I.” He repeated.

“Daddy!”

“You and I, and the kids.”

[schemmentigfs]

Future Milf, part one.

paring: melissa schemmenti x fem reader.

summary: what was supposed to be a normal monday morning at Abbott, ends up being a chaotic one after you lend Melissa one especific t-shirt.

warnings: sexual themes? The rest is just pure crack.

author notes: I got this idea after listening to M.I.L.F $ by Fergie? Anyways, it's finally here, I'm must say that I'm pretty proud of this one. Stay tuned for part two! And yes, I watched heartstrooper and thought the drum scene was cute, so I added here.

English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes.

When you arrived at Abbott in that morning, one curious feeling of both happiness and anxiety coursed through your body. And even though you found it completely strange, you decided to ignore it.

“Good morning, Y/n!” Janine said waving to you in the hallway. “How was your weekend?”

You smiled noticing her presence, as much as everyone else always said that Janine's way of acting was a bit annoying. The other teachers had to addmit that she was a good person who was always willing to help when needed.

“Morning!” you replied, unlocking the door to your classroom, ready to start another day at school. “It was good! On Saturday, I went to my parents to visit them for a family dinner. And on Sunday I spent the afternoon at Melissa's place.” You let out a passionate sigh remembering the day in the company of your favorite redhead.

It was a lovely afternoon, you cooked together, talked about different things and at the end, you watched a movie together, with Mel's hands gently stroking your hair while you were lying on her lap. “Hon, you are so cute,” she whispered softly, leaving her famous bravado aside, and showing her sweet and loving side instead.

To be honest, you loved these moments with the older woman, it made you feel protected, relaxed and loved. Something you hadn't felt in a long time. Melissa Schemmenti was your safe place. That same tough second grade teacher who took almost three months to have a friendly conversation with you was now one of your best friends. Yeah, fate was something that was really fucking powerful.

After listening to your last words, Janine let a huge smile escape her lips, before she started to celebrate. “I knew it! I knew it!” The youngest said, jumping up and down excitedly.

“Knew what?” you questioned with a confused expression.

“It was a date, wasn't it?” she asked with hope in her eyes.

“No!”

“Wait what? I thought you and Melissa were dating. Guess I was wrong. Again.” The second grade teacher revealed, completely disappointed looking at you.

After seeing your friend's reaction, you widen your eyes in shock. Was she really serious?

“Janine, why did you think we were dating?”

“It’s kind of obvious, she calls you by cute Italian nicknames, brings you coffee every morning. Share her lunch with you, let you hug her, and she always laughs at your jokes! You two are practically married in the eyes of everyone who works here at Abbott!” She talked non-stop.

Janine could only be out of her mind, a relationship between you and Melissa was impossible to happen. You were co-workers for god's sake, and also the redhead was known for being completely closed off when it came to relationships. Since her divorce with Joe was a traumatic experience.

Deep down, you were completely in love with Melissa. But tried to suppresses your feelings, knowing it would never be reciprocated. After all, what would a beautiful woman like her want with someone like you?

It was painful, but you couldn't do anything about it.

Turning your head to the sides to make sure there was no one else in the hallway, you started talking. “What I have with Melissa is just a normal friendship between two women. Something platonic and not romantic! Okay?”

“But—” she insisted.

“Let's just forget about this.” You sighed and Janine finally gave up, nodding and giving you a sad smile saying goodbye and returning to her classroom.

“You can’t keep lying to yourself.” Mr Johnson’s voice caught your attention.

“Huh?”

“You like Melissa, and you know that,” the janitor says as he sweeps the floor, eliminating any sign of dirt. “You may not have noticed yet, but she likes you too. Act while you have the chance, otherwise you will regret it if she finds someone else.” He said, before leaving.

Now alone in the hallway, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, thinking about his words and Janine's. Were they right? No. They were insane.

“Why did everyone suddenly decide to give their opinion on my love life?” You grumbled, looking at the watch on your wrist. There were twenty minutes until the kids arrived, so you decided to stop by the staff room for some coffee and also to refresh your mind.

—

When you entered the teachers' lounge, you saw a curious scene. Jacob was completely nervous while Melissa was furious. Gregory and Barbara were there watching everything and trying to calm her down but without success.

“JACOB!” the redhead shouted angrily pointing to her pink sweater and looking at the young boy with a deadly glare. “LOOK WHAT YOU DID!”

“I'm sorry! It wasn't my intention, I ended up getting distracted and—” the history teacher stuttered nervously.

“JUST—” She almost started to argue again but stopped when she felt Barb's gaze and yours on her. “be more careful next time, we don’t want any accidents like this happening again,”

Jacob nodded, apologizing once more, returning to sit on the small sofa, next to Gregory. Focusing on the news that played on Channel 6.

“Dear, are you okay?” Barb asked worriedly, putting a hand on her best friend's shoulder.

“Yeah, the only problem is that I don’t have any spare clothes to wear.” Melissa responds.

Seeing the older woman's frustration, you decided to quickly help her, knowing that she was starting to get uncomfortable with her favorite sweater's situation.

“Don't worry, I can lend you one. I always keep one in case something like this happens.” You replied with a small smile.

Melissa sighed in relief, it was as if a miracle had fallen from the earth when she needed it most.

“Thanks, Stellina. You are an angel.”

You blush at the nickname she gives you. Maybe Janine wasn't so wrong. Just maybe.

“Let’s go.” you pulled her by the arm heading to your classroom.

—

You guided Melissa to sit in one of the chairs and closed the door, heading towards your drawer looking for the shirt. It took a long time to find it, as everything was slightly messed up. The redhead rolled her eyes, pretending to be impatient.

“Apparently it looks like youse need to learn how organize your things better.” The older woman mocks you.

“Shut up, Schemmenti. I’m trying to help ya,” after a lot of effort, you finally found it, “here, it’s a little wrinkled but I think it should be fine for you to use for the rest of the day,”

Melissa let out a soft smile, taking the shirt you handed her. “Thanks again for helping me. I appreciate this.”

“No problem, I’ll always give you a hand whenever you need it,” you replied with a shrug.

In the three years that you had known each other, She had done so many things for you. So it was only fair that you pay her back, right?

“Uh, I’ll turn around now so you can have more privacy to change,” you said and she nodded, giving you a thumbs up.

You turned around, facing the classroom door, letting out a muffled laugh when she mumbled, “Thank God I won't have soup on my body anymore.”

Everything was going normally, until you heard something else that made your heartbeat increase with each passing second.

“Future Milf, hm?” Melissa said inspecting the shirt, reading the print with a confused expression. “It’s probably a term that those of you who are young use. I liked it.”

Hearing that made you freeze, it was as if the whole world had stopped at that moment. It couldn't be. No. It could only be a completely ridiculous nightmare or dream of yours. She was a natural joker, always picking on you with some prank or something else. She was joking, right?

Fuck, had you really given her that shirt by accident? Oh shit, you were so screwed. The only good thing about this situation was that she didn't know what the word milf meant.

If she knew, you'd probably be dead by now.

Melissa snapped her fingers, a sign that you could turn around again. The action brought you back to reality, but you were too embarrassed to look at your friend in the eyes again.

“What do you think?” she asked, adjusting the t-shirt on her body, waiting for your answer anxiously. Melissa wouldn't never admit it, but your opinion was something very important to her.

You kept quiet, nervous about what had just happened. It felt like a nightmare, for some reason. After school, you would probably go to the supermarket to buy a giant bottle of wine to drink while watching some horrible Netflix TV show trying to forget all of this.

When you focused your gaze on her figure, your mouth opened into a big 'o'. She looked stunning, with her signature black leather pants, boots and well.. that t-shirt had made Melissa look so hot, that you couldn't look at anything else in the room. It definitely suited her.

“Y/n? What do you think?” She repeats.

“You look amazing, Lissa,” you say playing with the rings in your fingers. A common habit that occurred when anxiety took over.

Melissa, who was always perceptive, studied you carefully. “Hon, are you alright?” she asked with a bit of concern in her tone.

“Yeah, I'm fine, just was thinking about...” you stop trying to think of an excuse to explain why you were distracted, “a funny thing Janine told me earlier, that's it.”

“What would it be?” She asks.

“I—It's a very stupid thing, I mean you know how she is,” you let out a nervous laugh, “I think you better ask her at lunch, Mel.”

The redhead raises her eyebrows, a little suspicious. Just as Melissa was about to speak, the voices of the children in the hallway interrupted her, making you two realize how much time had passed.

“Oh! Our students.”

“Yeah, they arrived,” Melissa says, “Well, I think I have to go now, your little devils will be here at any moment. See ya at lunch?”

“Of course, and Mel?”

“What, hon?”

“You look beautiful.” It accidentally slips out of your mouth, leaving you pale and afraid of her reaction. Of course, you had already said that Melissa was beautiful several times, but this time something different was in the air.

You didn't notice the way her cheeks flushed.

“Thanks gorgeous,” the eldest grins and wink at you. Was she flirting?

When Melissa was no longer there, you covered your face with your hands to stifle a scream that threatened to escape your throat. What was supposed to be a calm Monday, turned into a chaotic one due to a slight mistake of yours.

—

Ava was passing in the hallway when she saw Melissa walking calmly to her classroom. The principal's eyes widened when she saw the redhead wearing a t-shirt with the words “Future Milf” printed on it.

“Why the hell is she wearing that? That's not something Schemmenti would wear. Especially at school grounds.” she whispered to herself.

By coincidence, Gregory was also in the hallway and was surprised by her pulling him by his coat.

“Huh?” the man said, confused. “Ava? What are you doing?”

“Relax handsome, I just need you to answer something,” she said, looking at him,“do you know why Melissa is wearing that thing? the woman pointed to the teacher.

“Y/n lent it to her after Jacob accidentally spilled food on her sweater earlier,” he explained. “Why?”

“Did you saw the damn print on it?” Ava asked, rolling her eyes and Gregory shook his head with a puzzled expression.

“Then wait and see at lunchtime. I'm telling ya, this is going to be more fun than any episode of The Kardashians!” she laughed looking towards one of the cameras.

—

Meanwhile, you tried to focus on teaching your students. But it was practically impossible. Every time you closed your eyes or tried to explain something. Your mind thought of Melissa wearing the damn shirt.

“Ms. Y/n? Are you feeling alright?” Leah, one of your students asked, snapping you out of your trance.

“Yes, sweetheart. Don't need to worry about me.” you replied with a calm voice. She smiled and returned to pay attention to her activity.

The hours passed quickly after that, much to your dismay. It was good on the one hand: in a while you would be home soon. But the bad thing was that you would have to lunch next to Melissa Ann Schemmenti wearing that fucking milf shirt of yours.

You thought of some solutions to avoid her presence, but gave up. Knowing it wasn't fair to do so. Defeated, you went to the staff room.

—

Barbara was looking for the redhead you wanted to avoid at that moment. The eldest knocked on Melissa's classroom door, waiting to be welcomed by the teacher herself or her aide, Ashely. But that didn't happen.

Determined, she decided to enter anyway, raising her brows when she saw a curious scene.

Her best friend was pacing the room while mumbling something. “Y/n, do you want to go on a date with me? We could go to a restaurant and—” Melissa said to herself, “No, too formal that doesn’t suit me. And I would prefer a date at home, where we could...”

The brunette now leaning against the wall let out a soft chuckle that scared the redhead.

“Jesus Christ!” Melissa gasped with her hand on her chest. The kindergarten teacher rolled her eyes, “Barb, you scared me to death.”

“Haven’t you asked her out yet?” her friend got straight to the point, “Oh Lord, you've already been faster than that. Tell me sweetheart, what's stopping you?”

The green-eyed woman looked away, feeling a little embarrassed, “I'm just scared. Y/n is only in her twenties, she has her whole life ahead of her and I'm already at a certain age. What will she want with me?”

Barb saw how her voice immediately sounded small and trembling, falling in love was a delicate thing in Melissa Schemmenti's life, her marriage was a totally traumatic experience. And after that, she completely closed herself off, thinking that being in a relationship wasn't something for her. That she simply didn't deserve to be loved.

But that started to change when you arrived in her life. It took Melissa a while to figure out the many confusing feelings she had for you. After several sleepless nights, questioning the butterflies in her stomach that always appeared when you were around, she understood that it was love.

But this realization scared her.

“I know it may seem scary but you have to try. Besides, don't you realize? That girl is crazy about you, just like you are about her,” Barb says trying to calm her, “Believe me, this time you will discover that love doesn't hurt.”

Her words made the redhead remember the moment she realized she was in love with you.

[...]

It was New Year's Eve and Melissa was speeding the night at your house. That same afternoon, she had attended lunch with her family and as much as she loved how festive the other Schemmentis were, but it seemed like something was missing from that environment, and that was you. And this feeling of longing made her run to your place immediately.

Now she was in your bedroom trying to practice on your drum kit, while you were laying down on an improvised pillow fort that both of you built together a couple of days ago. Honestly, playing the drums wasn't something Melissa knew how to do, so she played in a completely clumsy way without being able to find a certain rhythm.

“Schemmenti, you're so fucking terrible at this,” you joked. “It's so easy to learn.”

Pretending to be irritated by your words, the redhead reached for a pillow and threw it in your direction. Prepared to start a pillow fight if challenged.

“Hey!” you grumbled, raising your hands in the air in redemption. “Mel, I’m kidding!”

“Then show me instead of standing there, idiot.”

You slowly approached, sitting next to her on the small bench. “Alright, let me teach you a little.”

You held Melissa's hands in yours, first teaching her how to properly hold the drumsticks. “Hold them tight. And don’t let them slip out of your hands,” you whispered. “Good job, Mel,” you praised her, feeling her hold the drumsticks tighter. She blushed hearing that.

While you were extremely focused, showing her how to play the instrument. Her green eyes watched you with love and adoration, at that moment, she realized how lucky she was to have you by her side.

Her gaze fell to your lips and Melissa wondered if they were as soft as they appeared to be. She also wondered what it would be like to wake up every day next to you, with her arms wrapped around your small waist and with her placing small kisses into your hair. Or what it would be like to kiss and touch your whole body listening to your soft coos while she showed how much she loved you.

She bites her lips with all of those images in her mind.

After hearing the sounds of fireworks, you turn away from the older woman and open your bedroom window and climb up to a small outcropping of the roof. While Melissa watches you curiously, still sitting in front of the drums. "What are you doing? I wouldn’t want you to have an accident in the middle of the New Year.”

“I’m not going to have an accident,” you rolled your eyes, “I just want to see the fireworks!”

Melissa shook her head, finding your excitement adorable, deciding to join you. Carefully sitting by your side, she rested her head on your shoulder and closed her eyes, wanting to enjoy this moment with you forever.

“You know...I kind of missed you at my family's lunch today,” the redhead admitted in a shy tone, feeling her cheeks burn.

That was a surprise for both of you, since you knew that she wasn't very used to physical touches or showing her vulnerable side.

Noticing her nervousness, you said something that made Melissa feel more relaxed again,“I missed you too. Staying with you is so much more fun than being here alone.”

She hummed and snuggled into you even more, making a smile escape your lips. The two of you enjoyed the comfortable silence that settled in. Wishing more good moments like this would happen.

Returning from her memory, Melissa stood up and ignored Barbara's malicious look and headed towards the door ready to go to lunch.

—

You were already in the teachers' lounge, and every time you heard a step, you felt your heart stop. The plan to try to avoid Melissa was still going through your head, but neither option was good, suddenly an idea came.

You threw yourself on the floor and quickly crawled to a table near the windows, hiding under it, the cameras filmed your movements and your friends' confused reactions.

“Y/N! What are you doing?” Janine asks.

“Nothing,” you grumbled, praying to eat in peace, “I'm just having lunch, like a normal person does.”

“You are literally eating under the table. That’s definitely not something you would do and everyone knows that. And it's kind of weird.” Gregory notes.

You were surprised by Ava, who ran in. Not wanting to miss anything she knew was going to happen. The principal loved an entertainment and the whole school knew. “I don’t think Melissa would mind if you said you consider her a milf. She would probably love it, saying it's hot and all of that shit,” she shrugged.

“What?” Jacob questioned.

“AVA!” you scolded her, “You aren't helping! And by the way, how do you know about this?”

“Girl, I know everything. And I must say, it's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.”

“What’s going on?” Janine alternates her gaze between the two of you.

You explained everything in detail to all of them who to be honest found it all a bit comical, but seeing the way you were nervous made them take it back.

After hearing Melissa and Barbara's voices, you got scared and shrank even more under the table. Hoping they wouldn't notice you. But that didn't happen. When the redhead entered, all attention quickly went straight to her. The cameras zoomed in on what she was using and everyone was shocked.

“What are you looking at?” She growls in a threatening tone and the teachers return to focusing on their activities, afraid of her. You laughed, that was so Melissa. And that's what ruined the chance to avoid her.

“Dear? What are you doing under the table?” Barbara asks.

“I was just seeing if...the tables were in a good condition! That's it, actually, I have to go now,” you walk towards the door, but a firm hand on your wrist stops you.

“Where are you going? I thought we agreed to have lunch together,” Melissa spoke.

“It’s not a good idea for us to do that,” you pull away from her touch. Waiting for her to give in, but something unexpected happened.

She took the lunch bag from your hands, standing on her tiptoes so as not to let you reach and looking straight into your eyes.

“Give me that back now!” You complain and she shakes her head.

“Tell me, what’s really going on? Why can you barely look at me?” she whispers that last part.

“It doesn't matter.” You respond, feeling your blood rise and your breathing slowly fail.

“Can you stop acting like a child and act like an adult, for once?” She retorts, making you roll your eyes.

“FUCK YOU MELISSA,” you yelled and everyone gasped. In years of working at Abbott, you had never raised your voice to anyone, especially the redhead, “JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Melissa's eyes widened, surprised to see you facing her and saying that stuff. A feeling of pain settled in her body, but obviously she didn't show it.

Impatient and without thinking twice. You threw yourself at the older woman, who got scared, losing her balance. Because of this, both fell to the icy ground.

Melissa hit her back, letting out a groan of pain, seeing what you had caused, you quickly stood up, getting off of her.

“I’m sorry, Lissa. I’m so fucking stupid,” you tremble, feeling tears come out of your eyes.

Feeling overwhelmed, you ran out of the lounge, leaving a bewildered redhead.

“Y/N, PLEASE COME BACK HERE!” Melissa's voice echoed throughout the school, now she was going to worry about trying to fix what the hell had happened between you two. And it wouldn't be easy.

[aestheticaltcow]

Just a Kiss

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader

Both you and Bradley want to take your friendship to the next level.

Top Gun: Maverick Masterlist

“I’m not makin’ fun of you. I just think it’s-” Bradley chuckled, “It’s funny because you’re fuckin’ gorgeous, and you’re telling me you haven’t been with anyone in a year?”  you rolled your eyes in response and threw a handful of popcorn at him from the other side of the couch. “Shut up Bradshaw.” you challenged, snuggling deeper into the plush couch he’d helped you lug into your apartment four years ago when you met. 

Bradley was definitely your favorite neighbor; you’d water his plant and feed his cat while he was deployed. In return, he’d open jars and help you carry heavy stuff upstairs. As the two of you got to know each other better, you’d be lying if you said you’d never thought about what his mustache would feel like against your skin. He was tall, tan, and handsome, but he’d never go for a girl like you- you’d seen the girls leaving his apartment on Saturday and Sunday mornings; they were all petite blonds with perfect tits and plush lips… i.e., not you.

“I’m just being honest, Y/N. You’re gorgeous and funny and kind… you’re a good person. You could get any guy you want.” Bradley said, reaching for his beer sitting on the coffee table. “I guess.” you sighed, turning your attention back to the shitty reality tv show the two of you had been watching. 

“Come out with me and the guys tomorrow. It’ll be fun.” Bradley suggested as he left that night. “I don’t know Bradshaw… I have plans on Saturday morning, and last time we went out, Nat drank me under the table and-” You began trying to wiggle your way out of this invite. Bradley shook his head, “You’re comin’ out with us, Y/N, not takin’ no for an answer.”

~

Bradley regretted inviting you to the bar that weekend. You stood by the jukebox talking with Phoenix about god knows what, and he scanned the room, noticing how many drunken sailors were looking you up and down. He wasn’t lying when he complimented your appearance and character the other night. When you moved into the apartment across the hall, he thought you’d be one of his conquests. The afternoon you’d asked him to help move that ugly oversized gingham couch up three flights of stairs because it didn’t fit in the elevator, he realized that his attraction to you wasn’t just skin deep. Then, as the months went by, the casual conversations the two of you shared in the hallway or the mail room turned into less casual conversations and exchanging phone numbers. You’d melded into his life seamlessly, and Bradley knew he needed you in a more intimate way, but he didn’t want to screw up your friendship if the two of you ended up having no chemistry.

“You don’t come here a lot, do you, sugar?” a man asked you as he walked up to where you and Phoenix had been hanging out. Phoenix looked the man up and down, “She’s here with Rooster.” she warned. “I don’t see Bradshaw around here- never hurts to make another friend, right?” he challenged, glancing at Phoenix before turning his attention fully toward you. “Lemme buy you a drink.” his voice dripped with a sickly sweet affect. You stepped backward and shook your head, “I’m okay.” you put a hand up defensively, hoping he’d get the message and back off- oh, but of course, he didn’t.

Bradley heard the commotion when he came out of the bathroom. He turned the corner and saw some bottom-of-the-barrel seaman cornering you and Phoenix. Bradley strode toward the jukebox with clenched fists and chuckled. “Seaman, clearly, these ladies aren’t interested. I suggest you walk away before I have to take matters into my own hands.” 

The man froze as Bradley spoke. He swallowed awkwardly and offered a pitiful apology before walking in the other direction. You felt the air leave your lungs. Bradley was basically a knight in shining armor. “Wanna leave?” he asked you.

You nodded and followed Bradley to the bar. He closed out his tab before the two of you walked out of the bar toward his car in the parking lot. When the two of you were in the car, you turned to stare at Bradley, “What do I have something on my face?” he laughed as he swiped the back of his hand against his mouth. “No, but I- I need to do something before we leave.” you quivered as your confidence began to run dry; before you could chicken out, you leaned across the center console and pressed your lips against Bradley’s. After the initial shock of what was happening washed away, Bradley deepened the kiss by bringing his hand to your cheek. 

You ended the kiss, leaving Bradley breathless, “Sorry, I’ve really wanted to do that for a while.” you swallowed, hoping you hadn’t ruined your friendship. “I’m glad you did; I’ve wanted to for a while now, too.” he managed to say before reaching for your cheek again.

[munson-blurbs]

Living After Midnight (Failed Rockstar!Eddie x Motel Worker!Reader)

♫ Summary: Running an errand together brings out even more sides of Eddie Munson, including one that you wish you'd never seen (5.2k words)

♫ CW: slowburn, strangers-to-lovers, angst, parental conflict, poverty, jealousy, eventual smut (18+ only, minors DNI)

♫ Divider credit to @hellfire--cult

chapter six: the eye of the tiger

Guilt fit like the shoes your mom forced you to wear as a kid, the dressy ones reserved for special occasions. It pinched at you, dug into you, a constant reminder of its unwelcome presence.

And so you did everything you could to alleviate the discomfort. On Wednesday, Dad mosied into the lobby for his shift to find the floor meticulously swept; there was not a speck of dust in sight. If he had any suspicions, he didn’t bother to show them. He was probably just grateful for the help regardless of its cause.

Mom, as usual, was more skeptical of your intentions, raising a disbelieving brow when you presented her with the bills you’d reorganized by their due dates. You’d offered up the excuse of being bored with nothing better to do. Did she buy it? Unlikely. But she also didn’t pose further questions, choreographing another step in your dance.

And when Dad hung up the phone Friday afternoon, thumb and forefinger massaging the bridge of his nose, you jumped at the chance to fix the situation.

“Everything okay?”

He looked up with a start, too wrapped up in his own thoughts to realize you’d been standing in the doorway. 

“That was Uncle Mo,” he said with an elongated sigh. “The delivery truck won’t start; something’s busted, I guess, so we won’t get our wallpaper until it’s out of the shop.”

“I can go after class,” you volunteered. The shop was a twenty minute bus ride from school, no transfers required. Lugging it on the subway back home might prove more challenging, but you could manage it. 

He dashed your dreams with a swift shake of his head. “They close early for the Sabbath.” Which meant they’d be closed all day tomorrow, too. 

Dad glanced around at the walls, lip scraping over his bottom lip. Their barrenness unsettled him; his pride and joy left empty and exposed.  

Imagine how he’ll feel once this place is boarded up for good. Bet he won’t care about some ugly walls then. 

“I’ll go on Sunday.” The promise practically made itself before you could stop it. Your final paper was due on Tuesday, and you had planned to spend your weekend finishing it, but that would need to take a backseat until the wallpaper crisis was resolved.

You could be part of that solution. For now, at least.

Sunlight teased summer’s beginning and warmed your skin. The walk to the subway station required you to cross paths with the mailbox you’d fought with—and humbly lost to—a few days prior. Dejection shot through your chest as you paused in front of it, focusing on a spot of rusted metal where the paint had flaked off. Short of intercepting the United States Postal Service, there was nothing you could do. Besides, your acceptance was probably already locked inside NYU’s admissions office, sitting among a pile of identical envelopes. Most of them, you suspected, were mailed with exuberance and not with the trepidation you carried. 

The station’s stuffiness engulfed you as you descended the stairs, fingertips brushing the railing to ensure your balance. Your return trip would be short of torture, sweat prickling beneath your arms at the mere thought of dragging wallpaper through the thick humidity. You might have to splurge for a cab to avoid melting completely.

Frantic, impassioned guitar strumming grabbed your attention just before you approached the turnstile, echoing off of the concrete and infiltrating all of your senses. Your breath caught in your throat when you saw that Eddie was the source of the noise. He leaned against the wall as he played an electric guitar—the same one he had clutched so dearly when sleeping at the bus stop. There was no microphone, no amplifier; just him and his instrument. The case was open in front of him, now holding a few scattered dollar bills and some loose change. 

He didn’t notice you, not at first, so you took that opportunity to silently watch him. His head nodded along with the beat, his voice a low timbre as he sang. 

Trust I seek and I find in you 

Every day for us something new 

Open mind for a different view 

And nothing else matters

The chords were nearly drowned out by his vocals, and the softer strumming should have clashed with the harsh lyrics, but he made it work. 

It was somehow even sadder than when Metallica played it, though not from a lack of power. Eddie’s version intertwined anger with desperation, a somber reprise of the gritty original. 

Deft fingers pressed into the frets, the pick pinched between the other hand’s thumb and forefinger. He took a step forward to launch himself into the chorus with a combination of focus and ease. This is what he was meant to do, what he was born to do. Whether he was in front of a captivated audience of thousands or a smattering of indifferent commuters, he was a rockstar. 

Never cared for what they say

Never cared for games they play

Never cared for what they do

Never cared for what they know

And I know, yeah, yeah

Heat blossomed in your belly at his gravelly voice, the way he pulled the notes from the depths of his diaphragm and belted them out. The E train came and went as it screeched along the tracks, but you remained as though the soles of your feet were glued to the ground. 

So close, no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart 

Forever trusting who we are 

No, nothing else matters

For a brief moment after finishing the song, Eddie’s chest puffed out with pride. It quickly faltered in the absence of applause, but before he could play another song, his gaze landed on you. He grinned and shook a stray lock of hair out of his eyes. Part of you wanted to fix it for him, to tuck it behind his ear or sweep it all back into a ponytail, but you refrained. Instead, you dug into your purse and tossed a dollar into the case. 

“Was that the one I gave you for the cab?” Eddie asked, fingers absently brushing over the strings in a series of random chords. 

“Nah, this was from the other asshole guest who made me late for class.”

Your jibe caught him off-guard and he actually laughed with such force that he had to stop playing. “And here I thought I was the only one.” He ran a hand through his hair, wincing as it snagged on a knot. “Are you going to the library or something?”

You lacked the energy to explain that the library was in the opposite direction, opting instead to cut to the chase. “Picking up the wallpaper.”

Eddie’s brow furrowed and he cocked his head. “I thought it was being delivered.” As you relayed the whole broken-truck saga, he started sliding the guitar strap up off of his back and crouched down, stuffing the money from the case into his pockets. “Cool. I’ll go with.”

“Oh, I wasn’t–” You paused mid-sentence to consider your words. “I mean, you don’t have to. I can do it on my own.”

“S’fine.” Eddie laid the guitar down with the fragility that one would handle a newborn baby and snapped the case shut. “Didn’t realize this station is basically dead on Sundays. I normally just play here during the week, but I’ve been out of commission.” He held up his bandaged finger and pouted impishly.

The familiar playfulness settled back into the conversation, breaking up any lingering awkwardness, and you snatched up the opportunity to tease him. “Ah, right. Your man stuff.”

“Very manly. Burly, some might say.” He extended one hand in front of him, palm up, to gesture towards the turnstiles. “Shall we?”

You led and he followed behind so closely that his chest smacked into your back when you stopped in your tracks. The uneven weight distribution, courtesy of the guitar case lolling at his side, thrusted him forward, the metal buckle on his belt digging into your skin through your shirt. 

It set off a domino effect, one that had you falling face-first to the ground. Before you could even brace for impact, you felt Eddie’s fingers digging into your hip and tugging you upright. The way he caught you was almost reflexive, his grasp controlled enough to avoid bruising your skin, but strong enough that you realized he could if he wanted to. 

“What happened?” His tone was mixed with both concern and amusement; a crackle of laughter broke up his question. 

An embarrassing adrenaline surge shot through you, bringing with it a chill that immediately preceded a heatwave of perspiration. “The, um…” You lamely pointed at the card swipe machines that had replaced the token receptacles. “I forgot that we need those MetroCard things.” 

Eddie let go of your hip and you felt his absence almost immediately. “No, we don’t.” He left no time for questioning, hoisting the case to the other side and pushing himself up and over the bar, landing on his feet with cat-like dexterity. 

You stared at him in disbelief. Sure, you’d jumped the turnstile a time or two, but that was back in high school, under the influence of friends you hadn’t talked to since. 

“What’re you waiting for?” He called out. A Cheshire-cat grin graced his lips. 

What were you waiting for? It’s not like the transit police were scouring the station. The poor schmuck stuck at the now-defunct token booth was exasperatedly trying to explain the new system to an older gentleman; he probably wouldn’t have noticed a wildebeest stampede. And you certainly weren’t eager to contribute to the politicians who lined their pockets with taxpayer money. 

Fuck it. 

In one swift motion—much more graceful than your earlier stumble—you mimicked his actions. One foot, then the other, your biceps supporting your body weight. 

“You little rebel.” Eddie tutted, his smirk showing off his teeth. You never noticed the way one canine is slightly sharper than the other, and it digs into his lower lip. “This is how it starts, y’know. One day, you’re skipping out on train fare; the next, you’re committing armed robbery.”

If he kept rubbing your nerves raw, you might be more tempted to commit homicide. 

Another E train arrived not long after. You were an expert at scouting empty seats, and you made a beeline for the first one you found. There was another one across the way, just vacated by a woman pushing a stroller, and you assumed Eddie would take it. 

Instead, he shoved his guitar case towards you, parting your legs between the knees, and grabbed onto one of the overhead handles. 

“Can you hold this?” Eddie asked belatedly. He rocked forward onto his toes as the train moved to keep his balance. A guitar pick necklace swung out from beneath the vee of his shirt and swayed above you. 

You drank in the way he towered over you, so close that he was all you could see. The mingled scents of the motel’s soap and a musky deodorant wafted off of him and enveloped your senses. For a second, there was only him, and whatever the outside world had to offer was just shy of meaningless. 

“There’s a seat down there.” You peered around him and gestured to the one you’d spotted earlier, careful not to point at anyone. 

Eddie looked but declined with a shrug. “Nah, I’m good. I like standing.”

“See, that’s the kind of thing that separates the natives from the transplants.” You smiled up at him. “You didn’t even want to sit down after a gig? Or a long rehearsal?”

“I didn’t really ever take the subway,” he admitted. “Maybe, like, once or twice.”

You huffed out an incredulous laugh. “How did you get around?” 

“Taxis, car service.” He ticked off the items on his free hand. “One time we rented a helicopter, but then the label threatened to revoke the company card.” He chuckled forlornly, like the memory was heavier than an impromptu helicopter ride. 

“Sounds like you were living the life.”

Eddie shook off his wistfulness with a cheeky grin. “Hell yeah. Expensive restaurants, swanky hotels…did I ever tell you about the time we trashed our room?”

“You did not.” You’re not sure you want to know, considering he’s currently staying in one of yours. 

He laughed. “Get this: we come back to the hotel after a gig. We’re all fuckin’ exhausted. As soon as we walk into the lobby, the night manager is on us like a hawk. I mean, the guy gave a stink eye like you wouldn’t believe.” He tried mimicking him, but he was too upbeat to embody the manager’s full ire. “Anyway, we’re not in the room for five minutes when there’s a knock on the door. Of course it’s that schmuck, warning us about the noise policy.”

You looked at him incredulously. “That’s why you destroyed a hotel room?” 

“Mhm.” Eddie proudly nodded, not missing the way concern furrowed your brow. “Don’t worry, Heiress. I’d never trash your place.”

“I’d have to get Phyllis after you.” Laughter bubbled out of you at his visible cringe, probably thinking of being on the other end of her baseball bat. “Okay, so what’s the dumbest thing you guys bought with the company card?”

People pushed through the aisle as the train pulled up to the stop, elbows nudging Eddie until he was practically on top of you. Every hair on your body stood up at the sudden change in proximity. “Probably one of those stuffed tiger things for our apartment,” he admitted.

“You and your band bought a taxidermied tiger?” You scoffed. 

His face flushed, and he scratched at his jaw like he’d been caught red-handed. “N-No, not the whole band. Just me and the drummer. We, um, she was my girlfriend, I guess.”

Puzzle pieces started falling into place and interlocking curves. His ex-girlfriend was also in the band, which was probably why they broke up once Eddie quit. “How long were you two together?” You instantly regret not asking about the tiger instead, for his sake and yours. 

“Hard to say; we were pretty on-and-off.” Eddie tried to play it off casually but terse laughter gave him away. The subway lurched and Eddie swayed forward again, his knee grazing yours. “But it was about a year from start to finish.”

You let the information sink in. He had a girlfriend in Death’s Echo, but he seemed to be unattached at the moment. Made sense, considering he was living in your motel rather than with a partner.

“That’s what no one tells you about money: it runs out.” Eddie continued. “It’s like, common sense or whatever. But when you have no money and then you get a shit-ton of it, it’s hard to imagine ever going back.” 

His eyes found yours like he had been searching for them, and you held his gaze until a monotone voice crackled over the speaker, announcing that the train was approaching the Forest Hills-71st Avenue station. 

“We have to transfer here.”

Eddie wrinkled his nose, clearly not thrilled by this extra step, but he followed your lead without any audible protest.

“Y’know,” he said as the doors opened, the two of you joining the swarm of people pushing their way out, “my neighborhood back home was also called Forest Hills.”

“Seems fancy,” you quipped. 

He laughed, head thrown back. “Oh, yeah. It’s the most glamorous trailer park in all of Indiana.”

The faux pas curdled in your stomach. What were you thinking? He had just confessed that he was broke before Death’s Echo. 

“Sorry, that was stupid.”

He shrugged off your comment, seemingly unbothered. “How many stops is this next one?”

“Just two.”

He hummed his acknowledgment, and with the R train less crowded than the E, you found seats adjacent to one another.

You did your best to ignore the way his right leg brushed your left, the worn denim against your bare skin as the train jostled him. He murmured a barely-audible “sorry.”

There was no reason for him to apologize, and you almost told him this, but you substituted a tight smile for words. Truthfully, you were glad he confirmed that the touch was accidental. You’d nearly nudged him back, a secret handshake of sorts, and your body burned with the mere prospect of embarrassment.

The train screeched to a stop in front of a sign that barely read 63rd Drive-Rego Park, most of the letters covered in colorful graffiti tags. 

“This is us,” you said, handing him back his guitar so you could stand up. 

Eddie stepped aside with a small bow, equal parts awkward and endearing. “So, uh, where are we going, exactly?” He stayed close enough so you could hear him over the cacophony of commuters. 

“S’just a few blocks.” You maintained your fast-paced stride so as to not get bowled over. 

He kept up with you surprisingly well for someone unused to navigating the city’s public transit. The fresh air welcomed you as you ascended the stairs, leaving behind the station’s mugginess. Conversations and traffic replaced metallic clunking while you weaved in and out of a sea of pedestrians, checking every so often to ensure you hadn’t left Eddie behind. 

Bold white letters on a maroon awning proudly proclaimed Eisen’s Paint and Supply, and the faint sound of bell chimed when you opened the door. A middle-aged man stood behind the counter, eyes lighting up when you walked in. 

“Uncle Mo!” You exclaimed, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. Uncle Mo wasn’t your father’s brother, but their bond went beyond blood relation. He was part of nearly all of Dad’s stories since they’d met in high school: the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

There was more gray in his hair and in his beard than the last time you’d seen him, the lines from his lips to his jaw more pronounced, but he still wore the same cologne that you’d remembered. The familiar scent was like home, a reminder of all of the Thanksgivings your families had spent together before the motel engulfed your life. 

He beamed, his hands bracing your upper arms as he got a better look at you. “Look at you; so grown up!” His eyes misted over for a second before he blinked the moisture away. “How long has it been?”

“Too long.” You turned back to Eddie, waving him over and introducing him. Uncle Mo politely extended a hand that Eddie shook quickly before shoving his fingers back in his pocket. 

“Before I get your paper,” Uncle Mo said to you with a mischievous smile, “I have a bit of a surprise.” The stockroom door swung open on cue and a young man stepped out from behind it. 

Your hand flew to your mouth in shock, every bone in your body vibrating. “Ben?” The name was muffled but still audible, and Ben opened his arms just in time for you to tackle him in an embrace.

His gangly teenage limbs had been replaced with hard muscle, his chest straining through his t-shirt. There was no trace of the wispy excuse for a mustache he’d once proudly sported; his face was freshly shaven, only the slightest evidence of his stubble scratched against your cheek when he pulled you to him. 

“I couldn’t believe it when my dad told me you were stopping by,” Ben said, finally letting go after a few moments. He looked at Eddie as if noticing him for the first time. “Ben. Nice to meet you.”

Eddie said nothing in response, his jaw set and his arms crossed over his chest. Whatever friendliness he’d shown Uncle Mo was clearly not being granted to his son. 

“Ben, this is Eddie,” you hurried to explain before the tension became unbearably dense. “He works for the motel, doing different repairs and odd jobs. Whatever we need, really.”

Your old friend nodded and brought his attention back to you. “Do you guys need help bringing the wallpaper back? I don’t have anything to–”

“We’ve got it.” Eddie cut him off curtly, clipping the conversation’s wings. His eyes narrowed in judgmental assessment and their milk chocolate hue turned dark.

Ben had evidently stepped on his toes; you thought back to the wasp’s nest and his adamance to clobber it with a baseball bat despite your insistence to wait until you bought the spray. You shot Eddie a look that he either disregarded or didn’t notice, because his clenched jaw never loosened. 

“Right, yeah.” A blush crept into Ben’s cheeks, the other man’s brusqueness catching him off-guard. “But we should catch up soon,” he said to you, “maybe grab a cup of coffee?”

It was an effort to ignore the way Eddie tensed up; even more so to pretend like his reaction hadn’t stirred something inside of you. Everything between you and him, and you and Ben, was strictly platonic. Whatever melodrama he’d conjured up was his problem, not yours. 

Your relationship with Eddie teetered between acquaintances and friends; he was in no position to get bent out of shape over you going for coffee with Ben or any other man.

You pushed the intrusive thought away long enough to answer Ben’s question. “Yeah, of course! You’re home for the whole summer?”

“Actually…” Ben’s grin widened, harboring a secret he was eager to spill. “I’m back for good. You’re looking at Dr. Benjamin Eisen, D.D.S.”

“That’s amazing!”

He nodded happily, enthusiasm unrestrained. “Thanks. I’m hoping to open up a practice nearby, so I’ll be sticking around for a while.”

That was the best news you’d heard in a while. The pair of you were once inseparable, always devising plans to convince your parents to extend their visits. When you were six, you’d almost started a fire trying to put on a pot of coffee, hoping that it would coax the Eisens into staying longer. 

Too bad you’d forgotten to add the water. 

Uncle Mo returned from the stock room with rolls of wallpaper, and his son shuffled towards him to take one from his grasp. 

“Are you sure I can’t help out?” Ben tried again. He only looked at you when he spoke. 

You almost took him up on his offer, the reply sitting on the tip of your tongue, but Eddie answered for you. 

“We’re good,” he said flatly, taking the rolls from the other men. “I used to lug around amps all the time. This is nothing.”

He’d uttered the same phrase before taking a bat to a wasp’s nest, and he’d ended up hurt. Still, inviting Ben along would almost certainly guarantee an awkward commute home. At best, you’d force stilted small talk; at worst, Eddie might shove Ben onto the tracks. 

“Thanks anyway,” you said politely, trying to temper your irritation. 

Ben gave a tight smile, brows shooting up when remembered something. “Let me give you my new phone number so we can set up a time to meet up.” He plucked a business card from the little plastic container on the desk, flipping it over and scrawling his number on the back. 

“Sounds great.” It truly did, save for Eddie’s glare that made you grateful looks couldn’t actually kill. 

Tucking the card into your purse, you held him in one last hug before bidding them goodbye. 

Eddie said nothing the entire walk back to the subway station. He strode there despite heaving around a guitar case and cylinders of wallpaper. You suspected he could have flown there if he wasn’t so bogged down. The closest he came to acknowledging your presence was the scoff he let out when you veered off-course to buy a MetroCard. 

You ignored him, still fuming over his behavior towards Ben. With trembling fingers, you dropped your change into the coin slot, acutely aware of his presence as he stood beside you. He was close enough that you could hear his tense sigh, as though his frustration was justified.

Yanking the card out from behind the swinging Plexiglass, you silently stalked over to the turnstile, Eddie begrudgingly hot on your heels. The tiny diagram showed the magnetic strip facing downwards and you did your best to emulate it. After two failed swipes, the machine relented and gave an approving beep.

“Go,” you told Eddie, and when he stared at you blankly, you repeated yourself with considerably less patience. “Go.”

“Okay, okay.” There was no hiding his surprise at your insistence, the sharpness of your tongue. He obviously wasn't accustomed to taking the attitude he dished out. His eyebrows crashed into his hairline as he maneuvered through, wallpaper bumping up against the metal gates. 

There wasn’t enough money left on the card for you, so after a brief glance at your surroundings, you once again lift yourself up and over to the other side. The metal barrier seemed laughably obsolete beneath you.

Eddie blinked twice in rapid succession but composed himself before you reached him again. A peculiar expression graced his face; not so much amusement as much as admiration. If you weren’t so annoyed with him, with his antics back at Eisen’s, you might have cracked a joke about his bad influence rubbing off on you. 

The first leg of the trip—the shortest part, as it were, went smoothly. It was once the E train departed from Forest Hills that it almost immediately halted, the exasperated conductor announcing that extensive track work was causing delays. 

“Fucking great,” you muttered. Experience told you that the remainder of the ride would be stop-and-go, which meant more time spent with Eddie. 

He’d exhaled an exasperated sigh of his own, eyes flickering over the subway car and foot tapping to a beat only he could hear. When he finally spoke, it was the last thing you’d expected him to say. 

“Wanna play I Spy?”

“Um, what?”

“Y’know, I spy with my little eye…” he explained, as though you were confused about the game concept.

It took every last ounce of energy not to burst out laughing at his odd request, though it helped that annoyance still tarnished your mood. “All right. Sure.” 

“Cool.” He glanced around again, rubbing his palms over his thighs in concentration. “Okay, I spy with my little eye, something purple.”

Squinting, you searched for shades of lilac and violet. “That woman’s shirt?” You jutted your chin towards an older woman sitting across the car. 

“Nope.”

“That little girl’s shoes?”

Eddie just shook his head, his dimples gradually deepening with each wrong answer you gave. 

Your next three guesses were also incorrect, and Eddie triumphantly pumped his fist when you admitted defeat. 

“It’s the words on that sign,” he said, pointing to an advertisement for psychic readings. 

It was your turn, and it didn’t take you long to find your target. 

“I spy with my little eye, something…douchey.” Your gaze never left his face, watching the skin crease between his brows as he connected your implication. 

Eddie threw his head back and cackled, drawing the ire of your fellow commuters. You shushed him with a hiss, his apathy only fueling your anger. 

“Fine, I guess I deserved that.” He leaned back in his seat and stretched his arms upwards. For a second, you thought he might drape one over your shoulders, but he brought them right back to his lap. 

“You guess?” You gawped, and he laughed even louder. “You were a total asshole to Ben for no reason.”

Eddie’s voice got feather-soft; you had to lean in to hear him. “Trust me; I had a reason.”

You snorted. “What, him offering to help carry the wallpaper threatened your ‘man stuff?’”

“Something like that.” 

Crossing your arms, you shot him a bemused grimace. Whatever testosterone-laden excuse he concocted would just strengthen your irritation, so you saved yourself the headache and  plundered on. 

“Ben and I have been friends since I was born.” That wasn’t an exaggeration; a photo of one-year-old Ben holding newborn you was tucked away in one of Mom’s albums. Dad had snapped the photo while Uncle Mo sat next to his son, helping cradle your head. You were only a few hours old. “Whatever your problem is, don’t make it mine. Or his,” you add.

Eddie had no response to that, and you preferred it that way. Maybe he was learning not to argue with you, especially when he was so obviously wrong.

Your response halted all conversation for the rest of the extended ride and continued during the short trek back to the motel. The quiet was necessary, but not peaceful, and you refused to buckle when an invisible pull urged you to talk again, to push past the discomfort. If you couldn’t outright tell him that he’d upset you, the least he could do was feel that anger.

“Where do these go?” Eddie asked once the motel’s doors closed behind you. You pointed to the supply closet and he ambled over, wincing as the hinges squeaked in a plea for lubrication. “All right, so, I can get started on this tonight if you want.”

You considered this for a moment before shaking your head. The lobby could survive another night with bare walls, but you needed a break. A break not just from Eddie, but from his naivety to his actions having consequences. 

“Tomorrow’s fine.”

He stilled, his hands halfway in his pockets. “I mean, I was going to stop by anyway; I might as well—”

“I think I just need some quiet tonight.” It was the nicest response you could muster, though the way the words passed through your clenched teeth gave away your annoyance. 

“Oh.” His cheeks puffed out as he exhaled a breath of air, his eyes refusing to meet yours. Confusion tied his tongue, but if he didn’t realize the mistake he’d made, you were in no mood to spell it out. He waited a beat for you to follow up, to iron out the creases with an explanation that had nothing to do with his earlier behavior, but that never happened.

The lack of reassurance pained you, too. You despised leaving matters unfinished; part of you wanted to apologize—for what, you weren’t sure—just to have some resolution. 

Eddie raked his fingers through his curls. “Well, I’m sorry for pissing you off, or whatever.”

Or whatever. Those two words almost had you smacking him upside the head with the wallpaper tubes. Maybe sealing his lips with the glue, too. 

The worst part was the shock on his face when you’d wordlessly stormed out of the supply closet towards your room. Like he had no idea what he’d done wrong or why his non-apology fell flat. 

No, that was a lie. The worst part was actually the pang of disappointment in your chest when there were no footsteps pounding down the hall, no knock on your door, no attempt to talk through the situation. As much as you wanted to be left alone, you’d clutched to an optimistic sliver that he would follow you. It was a pathetic need for proof that he cared about you as more than just his employer. As his friend.

But there was nothing.

That silence hurt most of all. 

--

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[padfootagain]

Only An Almost (VI)

Chapter 6: Hiding

Hello!! Here is a new chapter!

I hope you’ll like this chapter! Please, tell me what you think!

*************************************

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU

Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!

Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.

Word Count : 2387

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

Andrew needed to talk to you.

After his conversation with Sam, there was no doubt left in his mind that he needed to tell you how he truly felt. This… situation, this… arrangement… it couldn’t go on. It was hurting him too much. Having you for a moment, and then being back to square one, holding himself back all the time, and this fool’s hope that you could feel the same if he waited…

He couldn’t keep on doing this. Another week and two nights with you had passed, and Andrew was now resolute. As he was knocking on your front door and then digging his hands in his pockets, he kept on repeating the words he had prepared beforehand. It was so much easier to write things down, he had sketched his speech this morning.

I know you don’t want a relationship at the moment, I understand that.

He knocked a second time as you weren’t opening the door.

But I’m not sure this… arrangement of ours is a good idea. I see you as more than just a friend. Way more than that. And I don’t think that I can keep on being casual with you.

At long last, the keys turned in the lock, and he stood a little straighter, taking a deep breath.

I get it that this is not the right time for you, and that’s alright. I’ll wait. I’ll wait all the time you need to have a proper date and a proper relationship with you. I’ll wait for you.

You opened the door.

I’ll wait for you, Y/N, if you want to give me a chance…

“Andy? Were we… had we something planned for today?”

“Hi! Erm… not exactly, but like… I haven’t seen you in a few days, I was getting worried you might have been eaten by some roaming spirit or the monster under your bed or something…”

He mentally slapped himself for such a weird and stupid joke.

You granted him an amused smile nonetheless, he was even ready to believe that you were struggling not to laugh.

“I’m alright, I’m just super busy with work.”

“You look tired.”

You looked exhausted, actually, with bags under your eyes, dishevelled hair…

“Thanks, I guess…”

He rolled his eyes.

“It’s not what I meant. You are always stunning. But you do look like you haven’t had a proper rest in a few days.”

“I have so many things to do…”

You heaved a sigh, and it was easy to see that you were buzzing with anxiety.

“Can I come in?” Andrew finally asked, but he was surprised when you hesitated.

“I have some work to do…”

“It’s Sunday afternoon, you’re not supposed to be working on Sunday.”

“Andy…”

“Do I really need to beg?”

He gave you a crooked smile, the ones he thought were almost cocky but behind which he badly hid that he was worried. You heaved a sigh and let him in.

“Tea?” you asked, although you were already grabbing the kettle by the time Andrew had rid himself of his coat.

“Thanks,” he smiled as he sat down by your table.

He waited until you were sitting with him before speaking again. He reckoned that you needed to be eased into the conversation he was aiming for, so he started with niceties.

“What has you so busy then?”

“Work. Important projects.”

“What kind?”

“Look, Andy… I appreciate the thought, but I don’t have time for this…”

“You can’t keep on working without taking a break… it’s Sunday.”

“Like you’re never working on Sundays.”

“I’m a musician, not an office employee. If I want to, I can decide not to work for an entire month, and no one is going to say a thing about it.”

“Touché…”

“Seriously, though… I’m just worried. Why don’t you take a small break with me, huh?”

“Andy, if you came to get laid, I’m not in the mood…”

“I didn’t…”

He frowned as he stared at you, offended by the thought. Your expression softened.

“Sorry. I’m a little on edge.”

“I haven’t heard from you in several days, I was just stopping by to check up on you.”

“I know… I’m sorry, that’s very nice of you, actually. I’m just so…”

“Stressed? Tired? On the verge of a nervous breakdown?”

“All of the above…”

Andrew drank a gulp of tea or two, before standing up in a jolt.

“Come on, go get changed.”

“What?”

“You need some fresh air. Some fresh air, and a nice walk. Come on. Get properly dressed, we’re leaving.”

“Andy…”

“You look like a zombie, you need a break.”

“I thought I was still stunning.”

“You are. Don’t ask me how you do it. Come on!”

You smiled, and seemed to hesitate one last time before getting up as well. You went to your tiptoes to kiss his cheek, and he bent to meet you halfway.

“Thank you, Andy. Where are we going?”

“I’ll find a nice spot, I promise.”

How could Andrew bring up this conversation?

He kept his words light and playful during the short drive to the spot he knew you would like. Some quiet path winding through the Wicklow hills, one that you knew already, but didn’t go there often. It was an easy, peaceful walk. Perfect to focus on nature, and get out of your head. It would do you good.

You were finally starting to relax, and Andrew didn’t dare to bring up the subject he so desperately needed to discuss. Partly because he didn’t want to stress you out again, partly because he was too afraid.

You joked around and spoke of unimportant but lovely things while you walked, his fingers brushing yours every once in a while, blaming the uneven terrain for the ghostly touch. But he didn’t reach out, didn’t hold onto you. He didn’t dare to.

You had brought some snacks with you, prepared while Andrew was pestering you to hurry. He decided that he would talk to you while you took a break to eat them. Yes, that sounded good…

“How often do you come here?” you asked him after a short silence.

“To this spot you mean? I don’t know… Haven’t come in a few weeks, that’s for sure.”

You giggled, and he slowed down to walk next to you again.

“You and your long legs. Wait for us mortals, would you?”

“Only if you’re nice to me.”

“I’ll give you a snack.”

“Hmm… that could work.”

“Or actually, never mind that. Go ahead and play the lure. So the beasts will attack you and spare me.”

“The beasts? What beasts? The squirrels? A bird?”

“There are badgers everywhere around here.”

“True, but I’m too skinny for their taste, I’m sure.”

“A bite-size ankle.”

“Nothing but bone, I’m afraid. Not enough sustenance. They’ll have to get to you, eventually.”

“Naughty.”

You walked further along the quiet path, laughing and joking and talking nonsense. And this was nice, unbelievably nice. There was just something about you that made Andrew’s shoulders lighter, his world brighter.

Love. It’s love.

You took a turn, came to particularly nice spot, breaking free from the trees of the forest trail. There was a clear view of the hills from there, and the valleys below.

“This is so nice. You were right, I was cooked up at home, and then at the office… I needed this. I needed some time outside, to clear my head.”

The Wicklow hills rolled before you, in various shades of green, the bluish grey of a stream running between them. You sat down together on an old stone wall, and you shared your snack with him: some slices of apple and a few biscuits.

“It’s so nice out here. We had not done that in a while, had we?” you went on, before taking a bite at the piece of apple in your hand.

The fruits were sweet and sticky with juice and sugar. The flesh had turned a little brown, oxidized by the air. Andrew hummed in agreement as he took another piece.

“Yeah, a few months, I’d say.”

“Longer than that. I don’t think we’ve done this since you’ve been back.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

He saw your gaze softening with sadness, something close to melancholy.

“How do you do it?”

Andrew frowned in response, silently asking what you meant. You looked at the landscape again as you answered.

“The touring. The constant travelling. Always being away from home. How do you do it?”

Andrew shrugged.

“It’s not as bad as it sounds. I get to do what I love, I can’t complain about it, I reckon. I’m so lucky people across the world love my music, that… total strangers on another continent can find something to relate to in my songs… It’s more than I’ve ever hoped for concerning my career. I’m very grateful for that.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

He couldn’t refrain a small smile at that. You were always so stubborn, never letting him get away with things. He loved that about you, it was endearing.

He set his gaze on the landscape too, tracked some clouds drifting in the blue sky. The weather was so lovely this afternoon… he wondered when it would turn to rain.

“It’s tough,” he admitted. “On one hand I’m unbearably lucky. I love travelling, I’m going to places I would never have dreamt of visiting. I meet amazing people. I get to perform my songs, and people come to see me. And I would lie if I pretended that I don’t love touring. But it’s… it’s hard to be away for so long. You live out of a suitcase. You don’t have a proper bed, not to mention your own. You never sleep twice in the same place, you’re always busy, always torn in a thousand directions at once… you’re never on your own, there are constantly at least five people in the same room as you. Sleeping in a bus is hell. You’re… exhausted, all the time. Stressed because of all the things to do, stressed about the schedule, the interviews, the nerves before a show… And I miss home. I miss my parents, and my brother. I miss my friends. I miss my house, and my dog, and my bees, and just… this. I miss this place. And I miss you…”

He heaved a sigh, forcing himself to look at you again, feeling your stare upon him.

“But in the end, I love it. There’s nothing as rewarding as hearing someone else singing something I have written. There’s nothing as exhilarating as being on stage, and performing and… It feels like I was born to do that. It just feels so right. It’s the same when I write music. It just feels right.”

Slowly, you nodded, a gentle smile on your lips.

“I understand. But it sounds lonely.”

“I’m literally never on my own, that’s an issue, actually… to me it is, at least.”

“But you’re not with your family. Can you say that you’re with the people who matter most to you?”

“Some of them are.”

“What about most of us?”

He granted you a sad smile.

“Yeah… yeah, I miss all of you.”

You looked away again, and he was surprised to catch a glimpse at tears in your eyes.

“I don’t think I could do it. Not just travelling but… just… how can you be with someone if you’re never here?”

It was his turn to look away to hide rising tears. His throat tightened, his heart dropped, his chest was collapsing…

Was that why you didn’t want to be with him? Why you kept him at arm’s length?

“It can be difficult,” he nodded.

“Is that why you broke up with your ex?”

“There were a bunch of reasons. But it was one of them, yeah.”

“I… I don’t think I could handle it. Waiting for you to come back…”

“I understand.”

“Don’t get me wrong, when I proposed our… arrangement… it wasn’t because it was you. I… I genuinely don’t want to date anyone at the moment. My job is a lot. And I… I’m a little lost these days. What I’m trying to say is that… I feel lonely, sometimes. But I can’t be in a relationship right now. But if I proposed for us to remain friends, it wasn’t because I was rejecting you specifically. Do you see what I mean?”

“I think so… but I… I mean like… my career means that… if you were in a position that allowed you time and space for a relationship, you would still not choose me, right? That’s what it means.”

“I…”

But you grew quiet, and he wasn’t stupid. His vision was blurred with tears: a mix of several shades of green, a splash of blue and some grey and white. A cloud was passing.

He had come all the way here with you to talk, and he had his answer.

“You’re… you’re still okay with what we agreed on, right?”

What could he answer?

No… no, it hurts more than anything I’ve ever experienced. But I can’t lose you for good. I’m not strong enough to survive it…

“Had I been anything else but a touring musician… would you have wanted to date me?” he asked, voice deeper than usual, unbearably fragile.

You didn’t say anything; he took your answer for a no.

He was being a fool…

“I can’t think like that, Andy.”

“Why not?”

“For the same reason you can’t stay for the entire night. That we can’t have pet names. That you can’t kiss me now.”

He blinked his tears away to look at you, frowning, silently encouraging you to keep going.

“I can’t let you break my heart, Andrew.”

His lips parted at your words, he tried to wrap his mind around their meaning, blinked a few times.

It was… It was him. He was the problem. Him, and his job. The same pattern it had always been, all over again, but with you this time around.

You cleared your throat, stood up in a hurry.

“Come on, let’s finish this hike!”

He looked at you as you started to walk away, but didn’t move a muscle.

You could have loved him, and he would still stand no chance at all…

[sscieloz]

Sunday afternoon shenanigans

Aeri Uchinaga x aespa5thmember! reader

Synopsis: you were having a Sunday off at the dorm and you were bored out of your mind when you remember Ningning’s vibrator hidden in one of her drawers. you’ve decided to have some fun, after all, but of course Giselle never knocks.

Warnings: smut? I guess. dom!giselle x sub!reader.

Word count: 3.3k

Notes: I HAVE RETURNED MY BELOVEDS. this is my first time ever writing/posting something like this… I was so embarrassed I swear to God. but I did have fun, too! I hope you like it and if there’s anything wrong pls tell me so I can fix it. I won’t check for any errors or mistakes or else I’ll just be too embarrassed and delete it all so enjoy!! luv u kisses. also i wrote vibrator bc I didn’t want to write dildo. so imagine what you will.

Pt. 1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3

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It was a slow Sunday at the dorm. Karina and Winter had gone out shopping and Ningning was in China on one of her solo schedules, which left you and Giselle alone, all bored and tedious. You’ve been staring at your room’s ceiling (which you shared with Minjeong), for quite a while now, wondering what to do to kill off the boredom. Your mind wandered to something you remembered spotting in Ning’s room, once, when you were looking for a shirt she had borrowed ages ago. Remembering the big, bright-green toy in Ning’s drawers, you’ve impulsively decided you were done waiting for someone gross to finally fuck you; you’d do it yourself, instead.

That thought left you staring at the thing, still eyeing the vibrator suspiciously after wondering if you weren’t just too bored, and all. Surely, Ningning wouldn’t mind (or she would, but you’d by her another weird dildo if she fussed too much about you using it).

However, you had no idea of how that whole sex thing worked in practice. Sure, you’ve watched porn and listened to your bandmates ramble about their escapades, but it simply wasn’t the same. You huffed, frustrated but determined to but an end to it, after all.

“Hey, the girls were wondering if you’d like them to bring something to eat when they get ba-”Giselle stopped herself mid-sentence as she barged into your room, no doubt surprised by the sight of you with your hands down your shorts and the neon green vibrator one of your hands.

You jumped on your bed, pushing Giselle out of the bedroom as you cursed her out.

“What the fuck, unnie? Don’t you ever fucking knock? Doors are closed for reasons.”

You seriously wanted to die. And kill her. Then die and kill her again. You felt your face getting flushed with bright red as you hit your head on the door, hearing your friend’s laugh through the wood.

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll just let the girls know you’re not… hungry. For food.” Another laugh echoed, and you knocked your head stronger. “I’m sorry, ok Yn? Let me in… please?”

Giselle was met with silence, as you were still trying to figure out how to flush your head down the toilet after being caught in such a scene by one of your bandmates and best friends.

“Listen, there’s nothing wrong with getting yourself off, ok? It’s like, super natural. It’s not like we don’t masturbate, either.” She kept on talking, and you could picture her looking at her nails with her bored expression, tiny nose and monotonous voice, “In fact, I really should get a new vibrator for myself too. I feel like mine’s fucked up with the batteries or something. Although, of course I won’t get one in that hideous color like yours and-“

“Ugh, it’s not mine!” You said, giving up on ignoring the shorter girl and deleting yourself from earth. With an exasperated sigh, you pulled her by the arms, making sure to close the door well enough this time. “Just shut your fucking mouth, unnie God.” You muttered, preparing yourself to explain the whole situation to her.

(…)

“Why is it so green, though?” You questioned Giselle, turning the vibrator upside down with 2 of your fingers, almost unsure of how to manage it.

The two of you were sitting in your bed after you explained the entire idea to your friend, hoping she wouldn’t find you too pathetic. Thankfully, the only thing that truly made Giselle wrinkle her nose at was the color of the thing.

“How would I know? Ning’s weird as fuck. Maybe it’s a kink of hers or something.” Giselle scoffed, also looking a bit disgusted by the device’s bright color, and you hummed in approval.

It was very Ningning coded, indeed.

The silence after your conclusion was awkward, and you intended to give your friend an excuse to exit your room when she uttered, out of nowhere, “I could help you out, you know.”

“E-excuse me?” You gagged. This afternoon just kept getting odder and odder.

You mean, it’s not like you and Giselle weren’t close, which you were. You’ve changed, bathed and shared more intimate moments together than you could ever remember. It’s just… this was different. Very different.

“I could help you with what you… want.” She sounded almost unsure, even though she nudged you playfully. “Come on, it’s not like you know anything in practice.”

“No need to flatter yourself, huh.”

“I’m just saying,” she continued, ignoring your bitter tone, “that I could make you feel good. And that’s what you want, right? I mean, that’s what sex is about anyway.”

You were still not fully convinced, but you were eyeing her more attentively now. Sensing you were almost giving in, she plucked one of your locks out of your face. “It’s really not the big of a deal you think it is, Yn. It’s just sex, and we’re friends. Right?”

“...Yeah, right.”

This was obviously a stupid, impulsive, brainless idea, to have sex for the first time with one of your bandmates. While your other bandmates weren’t home.

You took a deep breath, nudging Giselle back and laughing as she looses balance and almost falls from your bed.

“Fine. Let’s do it, then.”

(…)

“So... should I just put it in?”

“What? No!” Giselle looks at you with big eyes, giggling a little. She stopped when you kept on staring at her, now realizing you were serious about not knowing how to do this. She took the toy from your hands before frowning at it, then sizing you up. “Well, not at first, at least. You’re not even wet. This way it won’t fit, and it will be too painful.”

“It’ll be painful anyway.” you grumbled, allowing her to spread your legs to place herself between them. Aeri massages your thighs before giving them a gentle squeeze.

“Not really, no.” she can tell you’re nervous by the way your eyes never meet hers, and you keep twitching as if to fight the urge to close your legs and dress yourself. “It might be uncomfortable at first, but then it’s like... a nice kind of discomfort.” her fingers tease the hem of your shorts, lightly brushing your abdomen. Ever since she’s caught you in your room and offered to help, Giselle has been nothing but patient. “You don’t have to do it, though.” she reminds you, still caressing your body. “There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin and-“

“I-“ you took a deep breath, finally gathering enough courage to stand on your elbows and look at her, although you still sounded unsure. “I do want to do it. I’m just ashamed, I guess. You can admit that it’s a bit pathetic, no problem.”

Giselle giggled again, this time with her fingers accompanying her light posture are they ran through your body, picking on your waist and poking your ribs in the places she knows you feel ticklish the most. You laugh and try to squirm under her touch — you’re taller, much taller, but she is stronger, so she quickly strands you entirely, hands locking your wrists up in your head so you couldn’t move or try to get on top of her.

“Hey, no fair! Let me go!” you plead, but your laughter and the weak way you try to run from her is all Giselle needs to know her mission has succeeded: you’re way less tense now.

“You’re so cute, Yn. it’s adorable, really.” she says, kissing each of your cheeks repeatedly. You try your best not to blush.

Even though you were the group’s maknae, you weren’t often reckoned as such, with your height making you impose and usually not the cute girl type. You didn’t mind it, either; you’d rather jump off a bridge than do aegyo anyway.

One of Giselle’s hands let go of your wrists to make its way down your abdomen again, though the other one kept holding you in place. Her featherlight touches still made you squirm, but she held you with such care, you couldn’t help but to feel safe.

“Is it ok if I take this off?” she asked, gripping at your panties as she scanned you for any reservations. You tensed again, but as you opened your mouth to say it was ok, she cut you, “it’s ok, then. We’ll just push it to the sides.”

Giselle knew how insecure you were about your body. The girls were always teasing you and karina for wearing the clothes with most fabric, and you often laughed about it. It was only now, in your newest comeback, that you were beginning to try new things and riskier, revealing outfits. She never understood it, though. You were praised by numerous knetz about your body; how toned, and athletic you were, with your long legs and gracious arms, fit for a supermodel. Which you have been since your teens, for a fact. The company had recently signed you off with Valentino and you were absolutely outstanding walking in Paris Fashion Week, which Karina had also attended, though not as a model. She did try her best to always praise how beautiful you were, though, to make sure you knew it.

True to her word, Aeri tapped your hips, and you raised them as she slipped your shorts past your legs and threw them on your bedroom floor. Your panties were pushed to the sides, as promised, but before her fingers could reach your pussy, the older girl lifted herself up from between your thighs, a slight frown on her face.

“What’s wrong, Unnie?” You asked her, looking for any signs of trouble in her yourself. Did you do anything wrong? Should you touch her, too? Does she even want to be touched? Fuck, you were so bad at this. Perhaps if you were any bolder, you would’ve gotten laid already and wouldn’t be in this pathetic situati-

“It’s all ok, Yn-,” Giselle reassured you, squeezing your hips to snap yourself away from your thoughts and back to her, to this. Now that you noticed it, she was gripping each of your thighs with her hands, and her face was too close to your core. Too fucking close. You felt your face get hot and a familiar sensation build up on your lower abdomen. (You weren’t a total prude, of course you’ve touched yourself before, even if it wasn’t often.). “I think my fingers will hurt you if we do them now, though. But don’t worry, I’ll prep you up.”

“What do you mean with prepping me u-oh fuck,” you drop your head on the bedside as she finally gave your pussy a long lick, delighting herself as she saw how responsive you were. Smaller, quieter ones followed, and soon the older girl was nearly making out with her dripping cunt.

You bit your lip, trying not to make any noise, but soon your bandmate’s fingers brushed your lips, forcing their way in.

“Don’t silence yourself,” she told you, watching you suck on her thumb so prettily. It made her so aroused to see how good you were at this. At following commands—her commands. It made Giselle want to rip the rest of your clothes and take you until you were crying for her to let go of you. “It will feel better if you let the sounds out, trust me.” She cupped your jaw before going back to eating you out, so you did as told, not bothering to hide how good this was making you feel at all.

“Ok...” you mumbled, moaning loudly as she teased you with her mouth. You arched your back whenever Aeri slipped her tongue into your dripping cunt, her nose brushing against your clit. The friction it made was out of this world, and you felt the waves of pleasure building up slowly but deliciously to create an entirely new feeling.

“Is it good?” She asked, her hot breath on clit before she gave it a light suck. You nodded, “Tell me.”

“S’too good, oh fuck.” You managed to answer her, breathless. One of your hands grabbed her hair, and you tried to shove her face even deeper into your pussy, but it made Giselle stop instead. You rolled your eyes at her. She was too bossy. “Sorry, unnie. More, please?” You were rewarded, then, as Giselle’s attention went back to your clit, circling it hard and fast as her hands pulled on your panties with enough strength to rip it off.

She grabbed your thighs and gave your clit a hard suck, making you almost scream. You cried loudly as you were hit by a hard wave of pleasure, with Giselle still licking you through your high, her eyes trained on your frame.

She got up and made her way up to you, promptly kissing you with her lips smeared with your juices. “Next time, tell me when you’re close, ok?” She asked, brushing some strands of hair out of your face. You nodded, still brushing her lips.

You could feel her hands in the hem of your hoodie and your shirt, and she stopped the kiss to gesture for you to get your arms up, which you did. Soon you were bare to her, a bit shy from the way her eyes were darkened and she stared at your chest with such lust. You tried to cover yourself, but Giselle was quick to replace your hands with hers instead, cupping your breasts eagerly.

“So pretty, Yn...” she said, and soon you two were making out again, with you on her lap. Your brain had long been reduced to mush and your sole focus was on Giselle: the way her hair was perfectly in place, hands running through all your body.

She was painfully clothed, though, you noticed. A clear contrast to your exposure. You told her just that, trying to get off of her so she’d undress too, but you weren’t allowed.

“Of course I am, silly.” She smiled at you, “This isn’t about me anyways.” And as she reached for you once again, you couldn’t find much strength to be bothered enough to argue, too busy with her kisses and touches. You couldn’t muster how long the two of you spent like that, just exploring each other’s bodies, but it was long enough for you to feel the heat building up on your core a second time, making you worry you were making a mess on Giselle’s thigh.

You tensed when you felt her fingers brushing your entrance, not quite entering but teasing, gathering your slick before going up on your clit, circling it for a few times then presenting themselves again on your pussy.

“Shh, it’s ok,” she cooed, placing wet kisses on your neck. She gently sucked on your pulse point, making you drop your head and moan embarrassingly loud. Thank God the girls were out. “It’s just one finger. You’ve taken fingers before, right?”

You shook your head, whining when you felt it enter you. It burned a little, and it was clearly too tight, but you already felt your entire body burning up. It was too good to stop. She stopped the work on your neck to stare at you, and you saw her eyes darken.

“No fingers? Not even yours?” She gripped your thighs harder, urging you to answer, but you were too busy rocking yourself against her hand to create more friction, anything to deepen this feeling that was already so, so good, “Answer me when I talk to you, yn.” Giselle’s tone was harsh, and you flinched a little. She curled another finger inside you, making you rock yourself onto her faster.

“It d-didn’t do anything when I did it by myself before, so I would just p-play with my clit until I came-oh God.” You squeezed your eyes as she added a second finger, increasing her rhythm.

She was breathless, too, you noticed as she kissed your chest, pinching your nipples and sucking on your breasts without caring if it was messy.

“Fuck, yn. You’ll drive me fucking insane” she murmured. You couldn’t even answer, reduced into a pool of cries and whimpers, but it just felt so good it made you want to cry. How could you have gone so long without it?

Giselle’s grip on you was strong, whether it was in your arms, hips, or thighs, and it would surely bruise later, but you didn’t care a single bit. All you wanted was for her to go harder and faster, not stopping.

“Unnie, please.” You pleaded, searching for her lips as you kissed her sloppily. “More, please, please, ah...” now you were deeply thankful that jimin and minjeong were out. There was no way your moans weren’t being echoed through the entire dorm.

It didn’t matter, though, because your cries rewarded you with an even faster pace, and the pain of being stretched as now only a reminder of the combo of sensations you were feeling.

“You’re such a mess right now, yn.” Giselle told you, her hands on your hips to keep you grinding on her without losing the fast pace. “So, so pretty.” She praised, pecking your lips.

You got shy, hiding your face in the crook of her neck to keep her from noticing how much that aroused you, feeling the familiar heat gathering in your belly.

“Aeri stop, I-I’m gonna,” you motioned to stop, but she only gripped you tighter.

“It’s ok, baby, don’t stop. Come for me.” She commanded, working her fingers even faster as she added her thumb to your clit and circled it fast. With a few strokes, you came.

Your vision went black, and you felt your body go numb, almost as though there were a million fireworks exploding inside of you. You felt Giselle’s hand on your back, tracing light circles as she held you close, still snuggled to her. You took your time evening your breaths, and a few minutes passed until you felt strong enough to get out of her lap and lay in bed, staring at her attentively.

“That was...” you didn’t even know what to say. “Amazing. I’ve never felt anything like it before.” You told Aeri, meeting her gaze.

She licked her fingers clean, the ones who were buried deep inside you just a few moments ago, letting them go with an audible ‘pop’.

“You did very good, baby.” She said, hugging you gently. “I’m glad you liked it. I told you it was good.”

“I guess.” You murmured, closing your eyes for a few seconds. It had been intense, but now you felt like a big-ass truck had run over you multiple times.

The sound of the shower being turned on made you open your eyes again, seeing Aeri besides you, a glass of cold water in your hands.

“Here, take it,” she motioned to you, who complied immediately, drinking it all pretty fast. “How about you take a bath now, huh? The girls might be back anytime.” You nodded, not wanting them to see you like that, and you took the hand Giselle offered to get up and go to the bathroom.

You did see something green displayed on the ground when you’ve reached your bathroom door, though, and you laughed a little to yourself.

“Unnie?”

“Yeah, Yn?”

“We didn’t even use the vibrator.” You pointed it out, seeing Aeri’s big smirk. The girl’s mouth opened in a fake motion as she grabbed it, taking it out of the room with her.

“I guess we forgot. We’ll have to save it for next time, then.” She winked at you, leaving you to shower alone.

Giselle would be caught dead if she wasn’t going to corrupt you all to herself.

[nicestgirlonline]

sneaky

Pairing: Bucky x Reader 

Warnings: None! Just fluff!

Summary: You and Bucky decide to keep your new relationship a secret with somewhat disastrous results…

Word Count: 3.7k 

A/N: Here’s my entry for @the-slumberparty week 2 challenge blast from the past! I don’t really have an old WIPs, I was trying to jumpstart my writing again with this sleepover. So here’s a little sequel to dumb dumb, since you guys really really seemed to like that one! Hope you enjoy! Feedback is always welcome! <3 

part 1

That Valentine's Day was possibly the best night of Bucky’s life. He had finally gotten to express everything he had been feeling for you. Friday night bled into Saturday morning, neither of you getting much sleep. The months of yearning and pining all finally erupted into passion, lust and love.

Saturday morning quickly became Saturday afternoon, with lots of pillow talk, telling each other little secrets about yourselves, sharing childhood stories. A simple Postmates order and quick text to Steve meant no one to bother you, and no reason for you to leave his bed. 

Saturday night, or what Bucky was calling round two became Sunday morning and that brought about a little thing called the Sunday Scaries.  

Amidst the bliss and happiness there was a lingering thought that kept bothering you. The two of you lounged in his bed, enjoying each other's quiet company, the moonlight of the early morning making the room glow blue. 

You bit your lip. Time to rip the bandaid off. Real life was going to be starting too soon again. 

“Bucky I’ve been thinking…about us.”  

“Really? Me too.” He started to pepper your face with kisses. “I’ve been thinking about all the ways I can have fun with my girlfriend.” You giggled as he started to tickle your sides. You wiggled your way out of his grasp. You propped yourself up on your forearms and did your best to put on your serious face. Which was very hard when Bucky was being so cute. 

“I mean it! I’ve been thinking, maybe we should keep this private? For a while?” You tried your best to keep your voice soft, the face Bucky made broke your heart, which was what you were afraid of. He looked extremely scared. 

“What’s wrong, what’d I do? Was girlfriend too soon? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, ” He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close against him. 

“No, no, you’re my boyfriend now.” You assured him. You took his face in your hands and he leaned into your palm in relief.  “I am really excited to be with you but we do work together. And there’s HR and office gossip and I don’t want that to affect us when we are still figuring out us. I guess I’ve never really thought about the power imbalance between us.” 

Bucky nodded albeit a bit reluctantly.  He untangled his arms around you so you were both lying on your side looking at each other. 

“I mean…I understand. You know I don’t really think of myself as a big superhero or something, but it is a ‘power imbalance’. Does it…bother you?” He asked scratching his face to avoid eye contact. You sat up, suddenly very confused. 

“What are you talking about, I’m the scientist who’s studying you? I’m the one abusing my authority here. It's all very unethical!” You exclaimed. 

“I don’t feel taken advantage of here, Doll. If anything, people are going to think I’m taking advantage of you.” Bucky chuckled. 

“Why?”

“I’m a bit older than you. I’m sort of famous for not so great reasons. I’m also literally more powerful than you?” He held up his left arm as if to show you proof. You dismissed it with a hand wave. 

“You don’t know that you’re more famous than me. I’ve been published in many academic journals.” You pointed out. Bucky shook his head. Gosh he liked you so much. He couldn’t even believe this was really happening to him half the time.  

“There were weeks of press coverage for my trial.”  You just rolled your eyes at that. Bucky was always so afraid that everyone saw him as a villain, but you’d never once felt any sort of danger from this sweet man. 

“Well, agree to disagree. But I still think maybe for the first two months we should just keep it quiet. So we don’t have to worry about anyone but each other. Just lowkey.” He pressed a kiss on the top of your head. 

“Yeah. You’re right, you’re totally right. We will keep things low key.” 

X

“Hey Steve, uhhh we’ve got a problem.” Bucky rushed into the breakfast room, thankful that Steve was the only one there. Steve queried his eyebrow at his panic stricken best friend. 

“What’s up Buck?” He asked. Bucky, seemingly slightly out of breath grabbed the side of the cabinets, he closed his eyes to try and get his 

“So you know how I told you about…on Valentines Day…and then we…so the weekend was…” He waved his hand to emphasis his pauses and Steve nodded along.  

“Of course,  I’m happy for you two, Bucky!” He said brightly, of course this must be some sort of post confession bliss the two of them were in making his friend act so strange.

“Well that's just the thing. Did you…tell anybody else about it?” He asked, his voice a bit strangled and his tone grim. 

“Uhhh was I not supposed to?” Steve asked, his face falling immediately. 

“Can you answer my question?”

“I told Sam about it. The two of you have been dancing around it for so long that we’re all just a little excited for you.” Steve started to explain but he could practically see the fury radiating off of Bucky in waves. His signature death stare was fixed on him. 

“Look, I really appreciate the um, support for my relationship. But here’s the thing, she doesn’t want anyone to know we’re dating.” He ground out, his teeth still clenched. “So we are going to be low. key.” 

“Look who it is. We were about to put out a missing person alert .” Natasha had slunk her way into the breakfast room, her voice dripping with self satisfied condescension.  “Getting provisions for the love nest?”

“God damn it, you told her too?”  He cried out. She shrugged, innocently looking away. Bucky grabbed his head, he was going to throttle Steve. 

“Oh come on, Y/N loves Nat. I figured she already knew.” Steve held his hands up in surrender, the captain certainly hadn't thought this was how his morning was going to go. Bucky turned his attention back to the super spy who was a bit too pleased with the unfolding drama. 

“Nat, did you tell anyone about this?” 

“Please, I’m a spy. I don’t just go around giving out important gossip with nothing to gain.”

“That doesn’t really answer my question, Romanoff!” He snapped back. 

“I’m still a bit confused why she doesn’t want anybody to know? Is that a modern dating thing, not telling people you’re dating?” Steve asked. It didn’t make much sense to him, what exactly did she think was going to happen if people found out? 

“She just doesn’t want the gossip and the pressure of everyone knowing about us to color the beginning of our relationship.” Bucky explained but his tone belated his true feelings. He absolutely did not want to keep this a secret. “So I told her I wasn’t going to tell anybody but I forgot I already told the biggest blabbermouth on the team.”  He quickly turned back to anger at his teammates. 

“I’m not the biggest blabbermouth…hm crap wait I forgot, Clint knows too.” Steve closed his eyes, wincing, ready for the smack upside the head he sorely deserved. 

“Loose lips sink ships asshole! ” Bucky was exasperated. 

“I didn’t know this was top secret information!” Steve countered. 

Nat stayed at the breakfast bar watching the two super soldiers argue, it was amusing but she had her limits. She had to intervene before Bucky had an aneurysm. 

“It's not so bad, we can do damage control. Tell Sam and Clint to keep quiet about it.” Nat said before taking a sip of her coffee. “And Wanda.”

“AND WANDA--” Steve looped an arm around Bucky’s waist before he could lunge at Natasha. 

x

Bucky Barnes: Hello Sam,  I am texting to inform you that Y/N and I are NOT DATING and please disbelieve the rumors to the contrary. Yours, Bucky Barnes

Sam Wilson: please learn to text like a normal person

Sam Wilson: You know I saw you making out with her in the elevator on Friday right? 

Bucky Barnes is typing…

Bucky Barnes: Sam, please disregard my previous message and meet me in the training gym on level 5 ASAP. Yours, Bucky Barnes

Sam Wilson: You don't have to sign your name I know it's you 

Sam Wilson: forget it

Sam Wilson: yeah I’ll be there

X Something wasn’t quite right. Your love life had never been better, Bucky was an amazing boyfriend, it was all you could do to not spend all of your time with him. The two of you would meet up after work hours and spend blissful hours back in Bucky’s apartment. But the rest of your work life, well it was starting to feel like people were avoiding you. 

Like the other day at lunch, you were sitting across from Bucky which wasn’t too unusual, you had been friends before you were seeing each other. The very tips of your shoes were touching, a special little secret way of holding hands. The two of you were discussing movies that were coming out, a totally neutral non flirty conversation. But then Steve walked in, looked at you then immediately spun on his heel and walked away. You furrowed your brow. That was a bit weird.

Or when you had bumped into Bucky at the gym on level 5. It had actually been a happy coincidence, you decided to do some yoga as you sorely needed to stretch your body out after being hunched over a microscope all day.  Bucky had been working out with Sam, Bucky lifting weights with Sam on the treadmill. You waved to the two of them and made your way over to say hi and Sam without saying a word jumped off the treadmill and started to jog out of the gym. 

Even Nat, which hurt the most, flaked on the movie night you’d wanted to have in the TV room. Then it was the domino effect, Steve dropped out then  Wanda and Vis dropped out too and soon it was just You and Bucky. 

“Oh nooo. What are we gonna do, watch the movie by ourselves? Just the two of us?” Bucky whispered in your ear as you were pouring popcorn into a large bowl. He grabbed you by the hips and waggled his eyebrows at you. You let out a little sigh and snatched the bowl before heading to the TV room.  You weren’t in the mood to flirt with him. The tv room was ready for what you had thought would be a big group. The lights were already dimmed and there were plenty of blankets and pillows around. 

You and Bucky settled next to each other on the couch. He grabbed a big fuzzy blue blanket and draped it over the two of your legs. He gave your leg a little squeeze beneath the blanket and winked. You just let out a sigh and grabbed the remote to fire up the Roku. Bucky frowned, this was certainly not what he thought their movie night would be like!

“What’s wrong Bambi? You seem down.” He asked, concerned. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his body. You let him cuddle you, resting your head on his chest 

“It just feels like all of our friends are avoiding me. I mean I thought we were friends. Co-workers I guess, you know I’m not great at reading people.” You sighed and buried your face in his chest. Had you grown more annoying these past few weeks ? He grabbed your chin and tilted your head up so you were looking up at him. 

“Honey, you’re great at reading people, don’t let your insecurity tell you otherwise. I’m not really a people person anyway so I was excited that it was going to be just us. Nobody’s avoiding you I promise. Want to just reschedule this night?” He offered. 

You shook your head. Rescheduling wouldn’t make you feel any better. Besides it was nice to be able to spend time with Bucky out in the open like this.  You still felt like your friends were all acting weird, but you trusted Bucky enough that you decided to let it go. 

“Well since it’s just you and me, we still have to watch The Princess Bride.” You relaxed into the couch, already pulling it up on the screen. 

“Sounds perfect.” 

X

You were working away in the lab, it was a little past lunch time but you simply couldn’t stop in the middle of your project. You could push yourself just a little bit and finish this in time to actually leave at a normal time tonight. You had a date tonight. You smiled to yourself. A secret date.

You were deep in the process, so much so that you didn’t even notice the secret date, arriving hours early in the lab. He gave your sides a squeeze making you yelp. You spun around to see your smirking boyfriend. 

“Bucky! Um, what are you doing here!” you asked, trying not to sound too excited. 

“I'm here to help you out with those samples you had requested from me.” He projected his voice around the lab. But it was for the benefit of no one, you were the only two there. You smiled, happily playing along. 

“Oh right! Those samples I requested.” 

“Those spit samples.” He grabbed the back of your head and crushed his lips to yours in a sloppy wet kiss. You slapped his chest as you pulled away from him giggling.

“Ew! Bucky, that's so gross, why would you say it like that!” But you couldn’t stop giggling. He smiled, clearly feeding off the laughter. 

“You’re the one who wants us to have this clandestine affair, I’m just trying to keep up appearances.” 

“"Why are you even here? You’re a little early.”

“It's my lunch break and I wanted to say hi and give you a kiss.” He took  one of your hands in his. You reached out and grabbed his vibranium hand as well so you were holding both. It made his heart flutter, how unperturbed by his arm you were. When he was with you it was like he was just a normal guy.

“Hi.” He murmured, rubbing his nose against yours. 

“Hi.” you breathed back. This time when your lips met it was sweet and soft. He slowly moved his lips against yours, you opened your mouth just slightly enough that his tongue could slip inside and ---

“So I’m pretty sure the Erskine notes were in here.” It was Bruce! Bucky felt a sudden rush of fear. Bruce wasn’t one of the inner circle who would just pretend not to notice their closeness. They could actually get caught!  

You quickly as hard as you could pushed Bucky away and he clamored backwards. You wiped your mouth, hoping somehow that would disguise yourself. Bruce poked his head in.

“Just looking for the Erskine notes. Uh, everything ok in here?” He took stock of each of you, freshly shoved apart. 

“Yeah, just leaving!” Bucky cried as he raced out of the lab. 

“I’m indifferent to him leaving! I’ll go grab the notes for you Dr. Banner!” You raced to the file cabinet not looking at anything but the ground. 

Bruce cocked his head at the strange interaction he just encountered. 

X

“Good morning Bucky!” You greeted cheerfully as he entered the breakfast room in the morning, Steve and Sam in tow. “Morning Steve! Morning Sam!” You quickly added as they filed in. As not to raise suspicion. 

“I get a good morning? Wow. Don’t I feel special.” Sam said with a smirk. 

“I say good morning to everyone. I’m just a morning person like that. How are you doing Sam? I feel like you’ve been so busy, I barely even see you these days.” You asked, trying to sound casual. You still felt like everyone was acting so weird around you. 

“Oh you know, mission after mission. None of them were in Hawaii either, it's all been Nepal, Siberia, whatever frozen wasteland they can dump me in.” He sat down next to you. You nodded along as he continued talking about his missions, eager to connect with your friend again. 

“Good morning troops. Ah and good morning Beaker. Didn’t think I’d see you this early on a Monday.” Tony Stark, sunglasses still on, his closes wrinkled like he’d just come in off a jet. It had been awhile since he was on at the Compound.  

You hoped you weren’t blushing at the comment. Bucky had talked you into another Sunday night sleepover, you were trying to be subtle about it but you were a morning person, it didn't make sense to pretend to show up later.

‘I didn’t think I’d see you at all Mr. Stark. It's been awhile, since you’ve hunkered down with us mole people in the lab.” You always had a professional but good natured relationship with Tony. He was your boss after all, which is why you found it a little weird to call him Tony. 

Tony let out a chuckle and started to make science small talk, about the lab and the projects you’d been working on. 

Bucky and Tony were not great friends. They had buried the hatchet, sure, but it wasn’t like the two drank beer and watched the game together. Cordial coworkers are best. 

Except Bucky didn't feel very cordial with Tony right now. Considering he had taken the only open seat next to you. He gruffly sat down at the table next to them with his coffee. 

You wanted to invite Bucky to come sit with you, or go over to his table, but that would probably be a bit too much for just friends. You peered over Tony’s shoulder to your grumpy boyfriend darkly having breakfast. You tried not to make it too obvious and still listen to his anecdote about building a mini laser. 

The two of your eyes would catch more often than not. Quickly turning back to whatever they were doing. Tony picked up on this immediately, he looked over his shoulder

“What do you keep looking at?” He spun around to look directly at Bucky who was frozen in place.  “What’s going on here? Are you two fucking or something?”

It was like everything happened all at once.

“Tony -- out of line.” “Uh HR?” “No no no you misunderstand.” “Which one of you told Tony?”

Everyone burst into action, all speaking over each other.  Wait what? You swung your head from pleading with Tony to your secret boyfriend.  The three soldiers froze. Sam took a deep breath. 

“I’ve had enough of this! Nobody told Tony. You two idiots are just so obvious that anyone could see it.” Sam said. As soon as he did Steve let out a huge sigh of relief, his shoulders rolling forward like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders.  

“I won’t have this, no way, not on my watch. Y/N. My beloved employee. With Mancurian Candidate? Under my nose, in my own lab?” Tony said indignantly,  putting his hand over his heart as if he was scandalized. 

“Tony! That’s really not very funny. You shouldn’t call him that.” You said your face a hard frown. and Bucky felt his heart burst with happiness. But then your gaze turned to him and he felt your icy stare.

“I--I can explain. You see I had actually texted Steve before we decided to be lowkey. It was before so really if you think about it. I didn’t do anything wrong. And Steve and his big mouth told a few people. But it’s just the people in this room. And Nat. And Clint. And Wanda. But that’s all.”  Bucky tried to explain to you as best he could. His eyes were pleading, he felt weak in the knees. You remained silent, your arms crossed. 

“Yikes, you’re in troooouble.” Tony taunted. 

“So basically everyone! Everyone I see on a daily basis. I can’t believe this. So they’ve all known the whole time?” You looked at Sam and Steve who both sheepishly nodded. You turned back to Bucky, you let out a shaky breath. People knew, and nothing bad had happened. Your friends had actually gone out of their way so you two could have some privacy.  “Well I guess there's no point in keeping this up then.”

“Hm?”

“I'm having breakfast with my boyfriend now, so if you don’t mind gentlemen.” You grabbed your breakfast bowl and moved your chair so you were sitting next to Bucky. You grabbed his hand and placed it on your lap. 

“Ugh, I'm nauseous you two are so fucking cute. Guess that’s my cue.  Come on, Commandos, take a hint.” Tony got up signaling to the other two who also rushed out of the room, more than happy to get out of the tense atmosphere. Once you were completely alone, you finally spoke. 

“I can’t believe everyone knows. Why didn’t you just tell me?” 

 Bucky let out a deep sigh. 

“I mean I kept it a secret from some people. Tony being one of them. I just…I wanted to give you what you wanted. But I mean to be completely honest I did want to tell everyone. I’m all in.”  

“I’m all in too!” You cried clutching his hand and kissing his knuckles. “That's why I wanted to try and slow things down so I couldn’t mess anything up. Now it just all seems so silly. I tried so hard to be sneaky too!” 

He took his hand off yours and gave your thigh a squeeze. 

“I mean…we can still sneak around sometimes. If you want. ” He had a playful glint in his eyes. “I mean, I had plans, Doll, a lot of plans. I was fully prepared to take you on every inch of that lab table.” 

“Sergeant Barnes! ” You gasped. “I think we may be a bit too loud for that level of sneakiness.” He took your chin in his hand and rubbed his thumb down your lip.

“I’m sure we can find a way to keep you quiet.”

[shitsndgiggs]

Hiii!!! How about reader who’s very scared of dentists and she has a dentist appointment and is super scared and nervous the whole week, maybe with Fermin? I think I remember you said you wanted too write for him but if not then perhaps Cubarsi or arda?🥰🥰🥰

FEAR OF DENTISTS - FERMÍN LÓPEZ

Fermín helping you with your fear of dentists

Fermín López x fem! reader

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

The anticipation of having my wisdom teeth removed was almost unbearable. The thought of the procedure—the extraction, the numbness, the discomfort—filled me with a growing sense of dread.

I’d spent the week in a state of anxiety, imagining every possible scenario and worrying about how I would handle the pain and recovery.

Fermín noticed my increasing anxiety, though I tried to keep it to myself. It was a Sunday afternoon, and we were curled up on the couch together.

I had been unusually quiet, my mind racing as I stared blankly at the TV. Fermín turned to me, his eyes full of concern.

“You’ve been really on edge lately,” he said gently, brushing a strand of hair from my face. “What’s going on?”

I swallowed hard, trying to keep my composure, but the fear was overwhelming. “It’s… it’s my dentist appointment tomorrow. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m so scared.”

Fermín’s eyes softened with understanding. “I get it. I had my wisdom teeth removed a few years ago, so I know how you’re feeling.”

I looked at him, surprised. “You did?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “It was definitely not fun, but I got through it. And you will, too. Do you want me to tell you what to expect?”

I nodded, hoping his experience might help ease some of my fears.

“Well,” he began, his tone soothing and reassuring, “the process itself is usually pretty quick. They’ll numb the area, so you won’t feel anything during the extraction. You might hear some sounds, but that’s normal. Once it’s done, you’ll be in a bit of discomfort, but they’ll give you medication to help with the pain.”

His words were calming, but I still felt a flutter of anxiety. “And what about the recovery? How long did it take you to feel better?”

“It took a few days,” Fermín said, his voice gentle.

“The first day or two can be the most uncomfortable, but after that, it gets better pretty quickly. I remember eating soft foods, like mashed potatoes and yogurt, and keeping ice packs on my cheeks to help with the swelling.”

I took a deep breath, feeling a bit reassured by his description. “That doesn’t sound too bad, I guess. It helps to know that it’s something you’ve been through and survived.”

Fermín smiled warmly, squeezing my hand gently. “Absolutely. And I’ll be here with you through it all. I’ll help you with whatever you need—whether it’s picking up soft foods, changing ice packs, or just being there to distract you with bad movies.”

“Thank you. It means a lot.”

The next morning, Fermín drove me to the dentist’s office, his presence a steady comfort. He kept up a light conversation. His easy demeanor helped keep my mind off the impending procedure.

When they finally called my name, he gave me a reassuring smile and a gentle hug. “You’ve got this. Remember, it’s just a short procedure, and then we’ll be on the other side of it. I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

I nodded, feeling a bit more at ease as I walked into the room. The procedure itself was quick and uneventful, just as he had described.

When I woke up in the recovery room, I found him waiting with a concerned yet supportive smile.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” he asked softly, helping me settle into the car.

“A little groggy, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought,” I replied, leaning against him for support.

He helped me get settled at home, providing everything I needed—soft foods, ice packs, and the occasional funny movie to keep me entertained.

As the days went by, his care and companionship made the recovery process much easier.

[stormysunday9]

I couldn't resist Tee's sweet face anymore...

Some 18+ smut, mostly fun and fluff.

Nine to Five

Things had been challenging with Joe since the season started. Being able to come back after his injury had set him into a level of locked in focus that I was not previously familiar with. Despite being together for the last year, the last couple months had taken a toll. Most days I felt like an accessory in his life. He'd let me know when he needed me for something, but I knew better than to bother him without invitation. I admit, I wasn't at my happiest. But I hoped once he got comfortable being back in his groove, he'd turn back into the charming guy who had made great effort to win me over a year ago.

One thing we still did together were the bi-weekly O-Line dinners. Whoever was available from the Bengals offensive line would get together every other week for dinner and drinks and some social time where football wasn't the prime focus. It was good for the guys, and it was one of the few things that wives and girlfriends were included in during the season. If the guys were winning, we'd sometimes take it to a restaurant and rent out their party room. If they weren't, it was often better to avoid a public setting, and one of the players would host at their home. This week we were heading to Andrei's, and I was looking forward to it because his girlfriend Logan was the WAG I was closest to. She was super down to earth, and had her own vibe that wasn't just "girlfriend of football player". Her and Andrei had an amazingly strong and healthy relationship.

Joe came down the stairs right on time and asked if I was ready to go. I think those may have been the first words he'd said to me all day. We got in his car and headed to Andrei's. He told me about some of the tape he'd been watching that afternoon, and the way he thought it would be useful for Sunday's game. I could tell he wasn't really looking for me to participate in the conversation. He did look over at me and smile when we stopped at a red light. That was nice, I thought. Then immediately thought: wow the bar sure has lowered! as I internally rolled my eyes at myself.

The gang was already laughing and chatting when we arrived. It was a smaller group tonight. We took the empty chairs across from Tee and Ja'marr, and I quickly joined in the conversations. It was nice to have people to talk to. Supper was fantastic and I helped Logan serve dessert. "You good, babe?" She asked me when we were alone in the kitchen. "Ya, why?" I asked, confused by her sudden question. "I just haven't seen you and Joe say two words to each other all night." she clarified. "Oh that. Ya, that's just kind of how it is now, you know, football and all."

She gave me a questioning eyebrow raise. "No, I don't know I guess. Andrei plays football too. But he still talks to me during the season."

I laughed. "That's fair. I dunno, I guess Joe's just wired differently...". 

Andrei walked into the kitchen then, ending our conversation. "Where's my pie, mama?!" He asked Logan, wrapping his arms around her waist. She rolled her eyes, "it's coooming, and it'll be so much quicker if you grab some plates and help!"

I carried a few plates of pie back into the room and handed them out. I sat back down and let my eyes drift around the table at the cuddly couples, the happy faces, and started to think about how strange it felt to be feeling so lonely when I wasn't alone.

Joe's voice interrupted my thoughts. "I think I'm gonna head out." What? No! I'd been looking forward to this all week. 

"My guy," Ja'marr pleaded, "take a damn break, have a drink, relax. We will still play football on Sunday, I promise you." 

I took that as my opportunity to have an opinion. "I'm not ready to go yet, and Logan said we're gonna play Hey, Robot later..."

"You can stay." He said, like that should have been obvious.

"Well how am I gonna get home?" I asked, feeling my embarrassment rising with this very public display of Ways Your Relationship is Imploding. I panicked when I met Joe's eyes because I could tell he was on the verge of telling me he really didn't care.

"I'll get her home, Shiesty," Tee Higgins spoke up. Thank god for Tee. He was by far my favourite guy on the team. He'd been so kind to me since day one, and he and I shared the same sarcastic sense of humor. He was such an optimist, and just a constant ray of sunshine. He was one of those people who made you a better person just by being around him. We always seemed to be on the same page. 

Joe nodded in agreement, gave me a quick peck on the temple, waved goodbye to everyone else, and was gone.

I mouthed a thank you to Tee across the table and he gave me a wink in response. Logan slammed a drink down in front of me because I'm sure anyone within 10 miles could see I needed one, and no one said another thing about it for the rest of the evening. I finally relaxed and had some fun.

By the time Tee and I headed out to his blacked out Suburban, I had a bit of a buzz and a happily distracted mind. 

"Geezuz! Have you got a step stool?" I jokingly asked in reference to my 5'5 frame trying to climb into his massive truck. 

"No but i got these!" He bent down and laced his fingers together for me to step into.

I laughed. "Can you imagine telling Taylor you broke your hand lifting me into your vehicle?" 

"Girl you weigh a hundred pounds. I'd be impressed if you broke my nail." He chided. 

He opened the door for me and I managed the scale the vehicle on my own while he went around to the drivers side. Once buckled in, he asked what I wanted to listen to.

"I'm easy," I told him, "whatever you've already got on!"

He turned the volume up and Kane Brown's voice filled the air. I knew Tee was a closet country fan, I'm sure it was his southern boy roots. He put the truck in gear and started driving while belting out the lyrics. His joy was so infectious that I couldn't help but join in. Halfway through the song when I knew Kane was about to hit the high note, I held an imaginary microphone in Tee's face and he gave it everything he had, and missed the note by a mile.

I burst out laughing til I had tears in my eyes. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I had laughed that hard. Or felt free enough to do so. I breathed out a huge sigh of relief, until I noticed we were about to get on the interchange toward home. I put my hand on Tee's bicep and he looked over at me. I looked into those kind eyes and just told him exactly what I was thinking: "I don't want to go home yet."

Tee looked a bit fearful at first. "But I told the boss I'd bring ya home safe. You know I don't wanna piss off the boss."

"You will bring me home safe! Just not yet? I swear Tee, he hasn't even checked in with me since he left. He's probably been asleep for two hours already. He literally won't even care. Just one more stop?" I pleaded.

"Well that, that makes me sad. So I guess I must fix that by giving in to your demands. Where ya wanna go?" 

I had no idea, and my face must have said so.

"Arcade?" He suggested.

My face lit up. "YES!!" 

Tee smiled, "here we go!" And cranked the wheel away from the on ramp.

"But wait!", my thoughts interrupted, "is that a good idea? With so many people?"

He chuckled, " a) it's Wednesday so it probably won't be that busy and b) I don't attract a crowd like your boy Shiesty does. We good, girl!"

Ten minutes later we were in a chaotically loud game arcade, inundated with flashing lights and dinging games and loud music being played on shitty speakers. We started at the basketball game, and as we both sunk ball after ball, Tee finally spoke up.

"Soooo why's Joe being a dickhead?"

The little bit of alcohol still buzzing through my system all but evaporated.

I groaned, "can we not? I'm having fun for once."

"Nah, it's good if you don't wanna get into it. I was just trying to understand. You're like the best thing that ever happened to him, and now it seems like he's just shutting you out. Did something happen?"

I stopped taking shots and tucked the ball I was holding under my arm. "Ya Tee, something happened. Football happened." I turned and flicked the ball toward the hoop and it slid through effortlessly. I turned back to Tee, "and if you ask Joe, transferring from Ohio State to LSU was the best thing that ever happened to him. Not me."

I felt the happiness from the last few hours wash away, reality setting in heavily.

"You better get me home." 

Tee frowned. He bent down and grabbed the long string of tickets we'd been accumulating, then tapped a 15 year old looking kid on the shoulder and handed them all to him. I watched the kid look at the tickets, then look up at Tee, and his face fill with shock when he realized who he was looking at.

Tee jogged to catch up to me and put his hands on my shoulders as he followed me back to his truck. 

"That kid knew who you are," I informed him.

"And who am I?" He asked with a glint in his eye.

I spun around to face him, letting a mischievous grin spread across my face, and said "you're Tee fucking Higgins!!!!"

He let out a sound that was a mix between a laugh and a yeehaw and galloped back to the truck.

---------------

I slipped into the house quietly and was greeted at the door by my black cat, Sir Purr. Joe hated that I had named him that. I tried to explain that he's a black cat, and I didn't have the foresight to know I would one day be dating a Cincinnati Bengal while Sir Purr still lived. And I stand by the fact that it's a great name, regardless of its mascot implications. I went up the stairs to the bedroom to grab some pajamas before heading down the hall to wash up. Joe was sleeping soundly, as expected. He looked so perfect, and so peaceful, and I suddenly had a big pang of guilt in my stomach for having so much fun without him tonight. I promised myself to try harder tomorrow to be what he needed me to be. I laid down on the couch and grabbed the big snuggly blanket off the back of it and tucked myself in. I didn't want to wake him, I know he takes his sleep seriously. I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep, the noise of the arcade still ringing in my ears. 

I woke up with a start to the unmistakable feeling of someone standing over me.

"Sorry," Joe said, realizing he'd startled me, "morning."

I sat up a bit and stretched. "Good morning, did you have a good sleep?"

"I did. How come you slept down here?"

"It was late, I didn't want to disturb you. You ready for Yoga later?"

The practice facility was hosting a yoga class for players and their families and Logan and Andrei had asked us to go with them. I could immediately tell by the look on Joe's face that he'd forgotten. He started apologizing, saying that coach had sent him some new tape. I told him it was fine. It was the norm at this point. I texted Logan to let her know Joe was bailing but to still come pick me up. 

When we got to the facility, Tee was waiting. 

"Fifth wheel reporting for duty!" He joked with a big smile on his face.

"oh is that why you're number five?!" I playfully elbowed him in tthe ribs.

"Ha ha." 

"Not a fifth wheel today," Logan jumped in, "Joe bailed!" She added like it was the least surprising thing that could have happened.

Tee gave me a look of pity. 

I was happy to be pulled from the hot seat when Andrei walked up with a worried look.

"Sooo I guess I wasn't super clear on the details when I read about this and it tuuuuurns out," he paused, looking nervously at me, "that this is couples yoga....." He grimaced, waiting for the backlash.

I rolled my eyes, "you can't be serious!" I groaned.

"We're good, bestie!" Tee chimed in, "I got you."

"You literally don't have to do this," I assured him, "this clearly just was not meant to be."

"You're absolutely not getting out of this," he told me, "besides, ain't no way I'm missing Yoshi lose his yoga virginity."

I begrudgingly agreed, and the next 45 minutes made up the least serious yoga class that ever was. For a professional football player, Andrei was wildly uncoordinated. And Tee, well Tee was just too damn tall. 

Logan and I got changed in the girls locker room and met the boys in the players locker room. Before anyone could say anything, Logan said her and Andrei had to figure out some paper work with the front office and asked if Tee could drive me home. I was really starting to think Logan was up to something and she was definitely gonna hear from me about it later.

Tee was unphased by the request, "of course, my Passenger Princess," he said dramatically, while bowing to me like a goof. 

"Perfect!" Logan squealed a bit too excitedly, and then vanished out the door, leaving the two of us in the now empty room.

I leaned against the lockers while Tee tied his shoes. "I'm really so sorry you had to endure that. As soon as Yosh learns to read, man, swear he's gonna be unstoppable!"

Tee laughed. "Nah, I had fun. I had no idea you were so damn flexible!" 

"Twelve years of ballet!" I said proudly, "I felt like I was rock climbing out there though. Apparently zero percent of your body is soft and squishy!"

I had meant to be funny, but realized the underlying innuendos as soon as it was out of my mouth. And so did Tee. In any other situation I feel like the whole thing would have gone unnoticed. But instead it seemed to catch on something already hanging in the air. Something that might be a result of our bodies bending with and against each other for the last 45 minutes...

"Well you're soft and squishy in all the right places.", he grinned, standing up so he was looking down on me,  "Ain't no way any part of me wouldn't be hard with that body all over mine."

I could see the fire brewing in his eyes, and felt my own heat growing in a flush through my body. Alarm bells were ringing in every inch of my brain. I ignored them.

Tee grabbed me under my thighs, lifted me up effortlessly, pinning me between him and the wall

"Tell me to stop," he breathed into my ear.

I didn't.

Instead I crashed my lips into his, my legs wrapped around him, hands desperately grasping his scalp and the back of his neck. I let out a moan as he moved his lips to my neck, soft and playful. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this level of need, and desire. Feeling his strong hands gripping my ass, his muscular body pressed so tightly to mine...

Suddenly, there were voices in the hall and reality came crashing back down around us. He immediately set me down on the floor and I slid the rest of the way down the wall into a crouch with my face in my hands. Tee was breathing heavily above me. 

"We better go", he advised. I nodded, grabbed my bag and followed him wordlessly to his car. Neither of us spoke until we were safely inside it, behind the shroud of his heavily tinted windows.

"I'm so sorry." He spoke first. "I don't know what the fuck I was thinking." He was shaking his head back and forth, scolding himself. He looked genuinely distraught.

"Its not all on you, Tee. I was there too. But obviously it can't happen," I said firmly, even tho in my heart it felt like there was nothing I wanted more. I could barely look at him without  desperately wanting to finish what we had just started. 

I took a few deep breaths, aggressively rubbing my hands on my temples, trying to pull myself together. "I'm just not looking to be solely responsible for the downfall of the Cincinnati Bengals, ya know?"

Tee turned back into Tee for a split second, allowing himself to smile and said "well we know the defence already got that on lock!"

I laughed in spite of myself. 

I reached across and challenged my self control by taking one of his hands in mine, I used my other to turn his face toward me. "I love everything about you, Tee fucking Higgins. But there couldn't be a more obvious case of wrong place, wrong time. I'm so sorry."

His beautiful brown eyes looked so sad, but understanding. We were both adults, and neither of us were particularly keen to blow up our whole lives right now.

Tee held my hand the rest of the drive home. It felt like these were the last minutes of our lives that either of us were going to be able to live in this delusional bubble of what could have been. He gave my hand an extra squeeze as he pulled in the drive. I gave him a smile, and tried not to think about the fact this could very possibly be the last time I see him, knowing clearly for the first time exactly what I needed to do when I got inside. 

"Bye Tee, thank you."

As soon as I was in the house, I called Joe out of his office and ended things with him. I knew I wasn't leaving him because of Tee, more because Tee showed me how little I'm feeling in this relationship, and how much more there could be. I wasn't happy, and I couldn't keep pretending to be. I wanted more for myself. And deserved to one day find someone I really connected with, who I could share friendship, passion, and life with. It went smoother than I expected. Joe admitted that when we met, and he was injured, he needed a distraction, and now that he's playing again he doesn't feel like he's in the right place to have a relationship because he can't share his focus. He almost seemed a bit relieved, which was kind of heartbreaking, but also a reminder of how I had always done all of the work in the relationship, I even had to initiate the break up. 

I told him I'd be out of his hair as soon as I found a place. He apologized for being a shitty boyfriend. I said I was sorry that we didn't become what we thought we might. It was all very amicable, and he talked more in that hour then I'd talked to him all week. I didn't mention Tee, of course, because that wasn't going to be helpful to anyone. And it also wasn't going to go anywhere.

But I knew that breaking up with Joe meant breaking up with the Bengals. That was the hardest part. I missed going to the games, the team, the girls. Logan kept in touch but it wasn't the same. Sir Purr and I found a condo downtown and I buried myself in work and found love for some new hobbies. One of those hobbies, ironically, being yoga. Joe checked in a couple times, which was sweet. He was still 120 percent locked in on the game, he told me he appreciated my friendship, and for putting up with him as long as I did. He wished me nothing but happiness, and I absolutely wished the same for him. 

TWO MONTHS LATER

My phone lit up with a text from Logan. I hadn't heard from her in a bit, so was curious to see what she had to say.

They let Tee's tag expire. Detroit picked him up immediately. Now's the time babe!

Oh no!! Poor Tee. He must be heartbroken... And now's the time for what?!

🙄 To go after him, obvs! He's not under Joe's thumb anymore. You know you two were like two peas in a pod. You're also the two funniest people I've ever met. And I saw how he looked at you when Joe wasn't looking...

I gasped. She was up to something. I knew it.

You're wild. There's no way. Thanks for telling me tho. I'll send him a text to say congrats. Miss you chick!

Miss you more, lemme know how your chat goes 😉😉😉

I sat with my thoughts for a minute. I hadn't talked to Tee. He hadn't reached out, and I was too scared to. I didn't know what was said or who knew what, after everyone would have found out Joe and I had split. It was just a text though, and this was such a big deal for him. He had been one of my best friends, I had to acknowledge it, offer my congratulations. Cincinnati had a tough season, I know he loves it here, but Detroit would honestly be a promotion for him.

I typed and re-typed ten times before deciding to keep it short and simple. 

Heard about your transfer. Cincy's loss 💯, you're gonna do amazing things in Detroit. They're so lucky to have you.

I set my phone face down beside me, too scared to watch for a response. Five minutes passed before I heard the familiar ring of a FaceTime call. I knew exactly who it would be. Tee hates texting. I sat up straighter and gave the messy pile of hair on my head a little tug and straighten before pressing accept.

A beaming Tee Higgins lit up phone screen. "Hey bestie!!" He grinned

"Hey you," I replied. I was overwhelmed by the degree of feelings I was having finally seeing and hearing him again. Love, pride, joy, giddiness, and most definitely a bit of desire.... "How are you doing? I'm so sorry they didn't fight for you."

"It's all good, mama," the ever optimistic Tee assured me, "I'm excited. My time in Cincy will never be replaced, but onward and upward, right?!"

"Of course! And Detroit! Wow! They're THE team right now, you're gonna be so amazing there. When do you have to leave?" I was dreading the answer to this question...

"Two weeks." Two weeks?! I wanted to cry. But before I could try and put on a happy face and tell him how proud I was of him, he followed up with two words that made my heart skip a beat. "Come over."

"Huh? Right now??"

"Pleeeeease," he begged. God he was adorable. "I miss you. I want to see you, in person. Hear that laugh, touch those lips, hold that body..."

"Tee..." I started, feeling both hesitant and ready to jump in my car and run every red light at the same time.

"Nah, don't gimme that. I heard your 'wrong place, wrong time', so now let me show you right place, right time. I know Burrow could have ended my career in an instant, and I know if he had even a hint that I had anything to do with you leaving he also would have messed up this beautiful face. But not now, now it's Tee time, and I want that to be me and you time."

I blushed, unable to disguise the goofy grin spreading across my face. I bit my lower lip. "it is a reeeeally nice face....give me 20 minutes."

"It'll be the longest 20 minutes of my life." 

--------------

Tee swung the door open wearing that thousand watt smile before I could even knock and wrapped me in the biggest bear hug. He seemed to squeeze every bit of hesitation and uncertainty right out of me. It was Tee, after all, and he felt like home. "Hi," I smiled up at him, completely overcome with just how much I had missed him and how happy I was to see him. 

“Come, sit,” he waved me toward his expansive sectional couch. I made myself comfortable. Tee sat down beside me. He looked into my eyes and smiled warmly. I had missed that smile so damn much. As if reading my mind, he spoke up. “I've missed you so much. And I don't wanna miss you anymore. I want you to come to Detroit with me.”

I was stunned. I couldn't speak. So Tee continued, “I know you think I'm crazy, but I'm just crazy about you. And this is a fresh start, for both of us, to be together away from here.” As he was talking, his fingers were tracing a path on my leg, as I sat cross-legged facing him. It was getting difficult to focus on what he was saying. He could see me losing focus, and I could tell he was loving the effect his touch was having. “Do you ever think about that time” he leaned in and kissed my neck, “in the locker room?” he whispered, his mouth right beside my ear. Every. Damn. Day. I thought to myself. Tee kept going, “sometimes I like to think about what would have happened next…” The heat between my legs was intensifying, I could feel my center beginning to throb with desire. I bit my bottom lip, trying to retain some self control. “Can I show you?” his voice was so smooth and sexy. 

I nodded, I'd been waiting two months to finish what we'd started. “C’mere then”, he pulled me off the couch and walked me to his bedroom. I laid down on his plush bed and he crawled in beside me. His long fingers traced circles around my belly button before he let them slip inside the waist of my panties. He quickly discovered how wet my entrance was, he looked up at me with a sly smile on his face, “so you have thought about it,” he smirked. His fingers slid inside me, and we both moaned. “You're even more perfect than I imagined,” he purred.

I kept my eyes on his gorgeous face as he watched his fingers go in and out of me. He used his thumb to massage my most sensitive spot, making me squirm. “Oh my god, Tee,” I moaned. He increased the depth of his fingers and the pressure of his thumb. I could feel my release getting closer, and it made me want him closer to me. “Kiss me”, I pleaded. He did, passionately, with his tongue exploring my mouth and his fingers exploring my insides, I felt myself give in to the ecstasy of the moment and released all over his hand. “Oh fuck ya baby,” he hummed against my lips. I pushed his shoulder toward the bed, directing him to lay on his back, slipped out of my clothes. Tee followed suit and slid his track pants off. I climbed on top of his strong body. I rubbed by soaking slit over his thick, hard shaft and watched him shift desperately underneath me. When I took him inside me, I could feel the pressure all the way in my belly. “Fuck, Tee!” I cried out in a very arousing mix of pain and pleasure. “That's all for you, baby,” he said as he dug his fingers into my hips, rocking me back and forth to the rhythm he was setting. The sex was slow, and sensual at first. We'd both been waiting so long for this moment that neither of us wanted to rush it. As the desire began to hit it's peak, he pulled out of me, making me gasp. “Get on your knees for me baby, I wanna do this together”. I obeyed, and took position on my hands and knees as he settled in behind me. As he slipped back inside me, this new position filled me with all new sensations as his tip slammed into my g-spot. He used his tattooed arm to pull me back against his chest as he continued to drive into me. Reaching around with his other arm to firmly press circles onto my slippery clit. “oh god Tee, you're gonna make me come again.” I panted. “I wanna feel it all over me baby, it's gonna make me fill you all up.” His words in my ear, his dick buried deep inside me, his fingers pinching my nipples, his thumb on my clit, I couldn't hold back any longer and felt the euphoria wash over me. He let go with the arm that was wrapped around me, causing me to collapse back onto my hands on the bed, as he slammed into me with intense force, his heavy balls slapping into me. He let out a feral cry as he did exactly what he'd promised and filled up every inch of me. 

I slumped onto my side, our collective mess dripping out of me, every inch of my body tingling. He collapsed beside me, breathing heavily. Neither of us said anything, just staring at each other with satisfied smiles plastered across our sweaty faces.

I was tracing lines of his chest tattoo while he was gently stroking my cheek, and tracing my lips with his finger when he said, "Come with me.", a pleading look on his face.

"I just did!" I joked, responding quicker than he expected. "My GOD!" He flung himself onto his back, feigning exasperation, while I giggled beside him. He rolled back to me when he had gathered himself. "All serious now? God you're trouble." He laughed. "I don't want to do this without you. I don't want to do anything without you ever again. You're my bestie, my passenger Princess, my half sized sidekick, and I want you to be my girl," he almost begged. He was so sincere, even emotional.

I turned on my back and closed my eyes, trying to think clearly. I loved him in every way a person could love somebody. And more than anything, I loved how I felt and who I was when I was with him. The best and truest version of myself.

I opened my eyes to him hovering over me, he looked like a kid waiting to look under the tree on Christmas morning. I laughed, and finally said "I mean, I guess I would look pretty good in Honolulu blue..."

Tee jumped up onto his knees and threw his hands up in the air. "Yeeeessssss babyyyy!! You'll be a straight stunna!!!! Oh my god!!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me outta bed and scooped me into his arms and swung me around the room.  I tapped my finger on his nose and  started singing Kane Brown’s Miles On It, the same song from our night at the arcade. I was dancing around the room while Tee was rolling through every single touchdown celly in his repertoire. I stopped to take in the scene playing out before me: this gorgeous, talented, funny, sexy, perfect man dancing around his bedroom in his boxers with the biggest smile on his face. I couldn't believe this was going to be my life. All the joy. All the fun. All the love. It was absolutely worth the wait. 

Playlist:

[aheckinmess]

Heroism [Tamaki] (Angst)

(One-Shot 2/? in a collection of My Hero Academia Reader one-shots posted regularly on Saturdays - and sometimes Sundays.)

Read on AO3.

Tags: Tamaki x Reader, Amajiki x Reader, Tamaki Amajiki, Suneater, Boyfriend Tamaki, Female Reader, Reader Insert, Reader Is at UA, Reader is a Third Year with Tamaki, Reader Isn't Sure She Wants to Be a Hero, Worries Tamaki Will Leave if She Changes Courses, Of Course Tamaki Is a Supportive Boyfriend, He is Adorable and We Love Him, Being a Hero Isn't For Everyone, Just Because You Aren't a Pro Doesn't Mean You Aren't a Hero

Word Count: 977 words

Summary: After being at UA for two years feeling like you don’t belong, you confess to your boyfriend that you’re not so sure you want to be a hero.

Some days, the sunshine is easier to see than others. There are no clouds to shield the warmth of the sun from your skin. No obstacles to keep the dopamine from settling deep in your bones and allowing you peace.

Other days, the bad voices crawl into your head and shackle you with their lies, telling you that you should have never come to UA. Today, it seems like your only enemy is yourself.

“Good afternoon, (Name).” Tamaki beams at you as he meets you at the sakura tree outside of school. Self-doubt makes the security of his arms seem pale and fake today. You feel like he only tolerates you. “How was your day?”

“I lost a fight in a battle where I had the upper hand.” You state in a flat tone. “I’m not feeling  like a hero today. What’s wrong with me?”

When Tamaki abruptly lifts you into the air, you gasp and throw your arms around his neck. He grips you firmly as he manifests some vines to pull you both up into the branches of the trees. Soon enough, a sea of pink petals forms an umbrella around you both.

“Nothing is wrong with you, love.” He whispers in your ear, trailing his hand into your hair and twirling a lock between his fingers.

Logically, you know his words have some merit. But the loud, intrusive thoughts convince you not to accept such reassurance wholesale. If you were a real hero, shouldn’t you have been able to win that mock battle against Mineta? Especially when you had the advantage? 

“I just want to feel like a hero.” You choke out, wrapping your arms around him and tucking your face in his neck. “I feel like I don’t know why I’m here anymore…”

It was a dilemma you’d been facing for a while now. A dilemma that, if you really thought about it, you knew was because you didn’t want to be a pro hero anyway. Sure, it would be nice to prove to your parents that you weren’t the worthless scum they thought you were, but in reality? You’d much rather find a job doing something you enjoyed. And while you enjoyed helping others, you’d figured out since your first year at UA that you just weren’t cut out for being a pro. 

But how could you tell that to Tamaki? What would become of the two of you if you transferred to another course? Would he still love you? More importantly, wouldn’t that just prove to him and everyone else that you were never hero material to begin with?

Quitting seemed to cause more hassle than just forcing yourself to finish your final year with him. Not to mention, you’d convinced yourself if you did quit, everyone would glower at you every day thereafter. 

Tamaki cradles you for a bit as the sound of students filing out of the school echoes through the courtyard. He kisses your cheek.

“Do you mean you don’t know why you’re here because you don’t want to be here anymore? Or because you’re not feeling confident as a hero?” He asks.

“I…I don’t…” Your jaw tightens as you take a deep breath. “I don’t think I want to be here anymore. I want to be a hero but…I don’t want to do this. I guess I was never meant to be a hero.”

You wait for the disappointment to color his face. You wait for apologies and the suggestion that both of you should break up because it’ll be harder to keep contact when you choose another course. So, you’re utterly surprised when he does none of those things.

Instead, Tamaki takes your face in both of his hands, looking at you with those dazzling eyes of his.

“(Name),” He begins. “I’m so proud of you for having the courage to tell me that.”

How does he know you so well? Those words sink deep into your skin, drawing fresh tears and making you plant your face in his chest. An anchor in your turbulent sea of emotions, he grounds you and lets you ride the waves.

Once your tears subside, you sniff and ask the question burning in your chest.

“You aren’t disappointed in me, Maki-kun?” 

“Why would I be disappointed in you?” He smiles, and tilts his head. “You just saved yourself years of misery for the future. Being a pro isn’t for everyone.”

“But…I can’t be a hero anymore. I’ve proven that I’m incapable of being worth anything to anyone.”

Tamaki shakes his head and taps your nose.

“Just because you don’t want to be a pro hero, doesn’t mean you’re incapable of being a hero. It just means you have different honorable pursuits that you’re better suited for.” He hums for a moment and then continues. “Remember when you told me you’d like to travel the world and start a blog about your journeys? You can be a hero for other people who don’t have the ability to make those trips themselves. There’s an endless amount of opportunities to be heroic in other capacities.” 

His words hit you in a way you haven’t considered before. You turn them over in your mind and squeeze him as tight as you can, like it might help squeeze the broken pieces of you back together.

“And…and you won’t leave me?”

“Of course not. I didn’t fall in love with you just because you were a hero. I fell in love with you because you’re heroic.”

As you both sit under the falling cherry blossom petals, his lips find yours and remind you that you both belong together. And even though you still worry about the disappointed looks of your peers once you put in for a course change, it feels far more endurable knowing that Tamaki will still be by your side through it all.

[uneditedidiot]

london boy - jamie tartt x reader

london boy

jamie tartt x gn!reader

Summary: series of moments where you and your boyfriend jamie share a love for the song ‘london boy’ by taylor swift. may include some fun karaoke moments. also, phoebe makes an adorable appearance in an ice cream shop.

word count: 1.5k

warnings: language (cause duh - it’s Jamie Tartt), fluff, Phoebe being adorable, karaoke dorkiness

A/N: Idk why, but for some reason, the thought of someone singing this song AT Jamie just kept sticking in my head and yes, yes, I know he’s from Manchester, but it sounded so cute. Also if it wasn’t clear, I’m a massive Taylor Swift fan so I had to throw in some love for Taylor, too. 

The first time Jamie heard you singing along to London Boy by Taylor Swift, he couldn’t help but smile. 

It was a sunny Sunday afternoon and you were dancing around in his living room, the tv blasting the song from the spotify app. He had gone off to grab his phone from another room in between board games and came back to find you singing this song at the top of your lungs and dancing enthusiastically.

He grinned and leant against the doorway with his arms crossed as you sang loudly,

“And now I love high tea, stories from uni, and the West End.

You can find me in the pub, we are watching rugby with his school friends.”

You spotted him just watching you and pointed at him as you continued your serenade, slowly dancing your way over to him. 

“Show me a gray sky, a rainy cab ride,

Babe, don't threaten me with a good time!”

You slung your arms around his neck, still singing, pretending to act out the lyrics. His hands found the small of your back.

“They say home is where the heart is,

But God, I love the English!”

You pretended to swoon in his arms, making him laugh wholeheartedly. He spun you around as you continued to sing the lyrics. You both made your way to the middle of the room to have more space to dance and goof off.

“You know I love a London boy

I enjoy nights in Brixton, Shoreditch in the afternoon

He likes my American smile

Like a child when our eyes meet, darling, I fancy you

Took me back to Highgate, met all of his best mates

So I guess all the rumors are true

You know I love a London boy

Boy, I fancy you!”

You kept pointing at Jamie throughout the rest of the song whenever the words ‘London Boy’ continued repeating. 

When the song was over, he wrapped you in a giant bear hug and kissed your cheek repeatedly.

“I like to think that song is from me to you, Jamie,” you told him softly as the next song began.

He pulled back a little with a slightly amused smirk on his face. “Babe, you know I’m from Manchester, right? I ain’t from London.”

You rolled your eyes, your tone deadpan. “Wow, really? How would I ever know?”

Jamie laughed. “Alright, alright. It’s very sweet of you to want to sing that song to me.”

“I just feel like it fits us well,” you replied. “You know, when I met you, we were in London. You lived here and I was new from the States.”

His smile grew. “Like I said – very sweet. But not accurate.”

You smacked his chest playfully. “Whatever. Let’s do another game. Uno? 7-Up? Ooh – how about I crush you at Mario Kart?”

The second time Jamie heard you singing along to London Boy was at an ice cream shop while the two of you were babysitting Phoebe.

“What do you think sounds best, Pheebs?” you asked as the three of you peered into the glass case if ice creams on display.

The little girl was thoughtful. “Hmm…well I think strawberry sounds awfully good, but that straciatella does, too. What do you think, Jamie?”

“You’re right, those do sound good, but I’m a bit of a cookies and cream man, meself,” he said.

Phoebe gasped. “That sounds delicious! Can we all get matching ice creams?”

You laughed. “Three cookies and creams on cones? Or do we want bowls?”

“Only fuckin’ losers get ice cream in bowls,” retorted Jamie. “Waffle cones, obviously.”

Phoebe cleared her throat, smirked, and held out her hand. You nodded your head at him towards her outstretched palm.

“Pay up, Tartt,” you giggled.

He begrudgingly took out a pound note from his pocket. “Well what I said is true. No denyin’ it.”

Phoebe shrugged and she folded the money gingerly and placed it in her little plastic purse. “But Jamie’s right – waffle cones are the only acceptable way to eat ice cream.”

The employee made their way over to the three of you. “What can I get you?”

“Three cookies and cream ice creams on waffle cones, please,” ordered Jamie. “And can we get rainbow sprinkles?”

“You got it,” confirmed the employee.

Jamie stood patiently and waited for your order as you led Phoebe over to a table by the window. In the background, he heard the faint lyricism of Taylor Swift and recognized the song immediately.

“So please show me Hackney,

Doesn't have to be Louis V up on Bond Street,

Just wanna be with you

Wanna be with you.

Stick with me, I'm your queen,

Like a Tennessee Stella McCartney on the Heath

Just wanna be with you.

Wanna be with you

Wanna be with you…”

He turned to see you singing the song quietly to Phoebe, who was shimmying in her seat with you. He chuckled lightly at the sight, knowing how much you loved the song and, of course, how much you had liked singing it at him.

He had to admit – it was a good song and quite catchy.

At the table by the window, you were explaining to Phoebe why you loved Taylor Swift so much. “And now she’s re-recording her first seven albums and re-releasing them.”

“That’s amazing!” exclaimed Phoebe. “Does Jamie like Taylor Swift, too?”

You turned your head to smile at Jamie as he paid for the ice creams. You admired his profile, cheeks going slightly red.

“He’s not as familiar with her songs as I am, but yeah, he likes Taylor.”

“Can I have some help with the ice creams?” he called over to the two of you.

“I can do it!” cried Phoebe. She raced over to Jamie, grabbing two of the cones from him. Walking carefully and keeping her eyes on the frozen treats in her hands, she brought you your serving. “Here you go.”

“Thank you, Pheebs,” you smiled. She smiled back.

As Jamie took his seat next to you, Phoebe couldn’t help but ask him, “Do you like that Taylor Swift song that was just playing?”

He eyed you with a warm fondness, then turned back to the little girl. “Course I do. Especially when this one sings it to me.” He nudged you playfully with his shoulder.

“I wonder if Uncle Roy likes that song, too,” Phoebe speculated aloud. She licked her ice cream with a thoughtful expression, smearing sprinkles across her nose.

The third time Jamie heard you singing along to London Boy was when the whole team was out doing private karaoke in a club after a winning match.

He wasn’t much of a singer himself, preferring to be in the limelight on the pitch and not on the stage, but that didn’t stop him from signing up for a solo.

Bumbercatch had just finished a gut-wrenching performance of My Heart Will Go On, which moved many to tears…from laughing at his dramatic rendition. The whole team burst into thunderous cheers, applauding and screaming.

Isaac, who had deemed himself the host for the night, took his duties very seriously. “Thank you, Bumbercatch, for that incredibly beautiful song. And now, please welcome to the stage, the king of the pricks…Jamie Tartt!”

Your eyes widened in surprise as Jamie turned to you, grinned, patted your thigh, and stood as the rest of the room yelled in encouragement. He bounded onstage and took the microphone from Isaac.

“Thank you, thank you,” he said. “Now this number goes out to my favorite person. Enjoy the song, babe!”

He pointed at the DJ and you gasped in recognition.

Jamie smirked at you as he said the opening lines of the song in his Mancunian accent.

“We can go drivin' in, on my scooter.

Uh, you know, just riding in London.”

“You’re fucking JOKING!” you laughed. Your mouth still agape, Jamie began to sing.

“I love my hometown as much as Motown, I love SoCal.

And you know I love Springsteen, faded blue jeans, Tennessee whiskey.

But something happened, I heard him laughing,

I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent.

They say home is where the heart is,

But that's not where mine lives…”

The rest of the room began singing along, but your voice was the loudest. You and Jamie never took your eyes off each other. You knew he had learned it just for you.

It was quite an impressive show. Jamie certainly knew how to work a crowd. He’d gotten every single person in the room to wave along with him during the last chorus.

When the song was over, there was an absolute uproar. He’d smashed it.

Isaac took the mic back and Jamie rushed over to you, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. The rest of the team whistled and cheered. 

Neither of you listened as Isaac called up the next performer.

“You learned that just for me,” you grinned.

“Duh,” Jamie grinned back.

“My London boy,” you laughed.

“Yours,” he agreed.

And then you danced together as Rebecca absolutely SMASHED a rendition of Love on Top by Beyonce, both of you screaming the lyrics and singing to each other.

But London Boy would always be your song.

[phantomrose96]

It's been a really messed up week at work.

I learned on Monday that 3 of my coworkers were being laid off. Two were under different managers, but one was a guy I've known since I started and he's been with the company almost 25 years. The layoffs were unexpected, and came right after a huge crunch-time for product launch, and I've been crazy upset for Ulli. Like how do you give 25 years to a company and then someone who's never seen your face just decides to let you go. Since it's a layoff, the decision came from outside our org and our managers/skip-level had no say in it happening.

One of the other guys, Jason, I didn't know well but he's been here 17 years and he was about to close on a house. Now he's out of a job and the bank won't give him a mortgage so just. Fuck you, no house. And this is after putting down the earnest money which is like, a deposit proving you're serious. If it was the 5% earnest money, that was probably like $30,000-$50,000 he won't get back.

The third person didn't reveal themselves, but like on Monday afternoon we had our usual weekly team watercooler chat and like... I made it known how upset I was and how scummy I found this. And I'm an easy crier (I've gotten better in adulthood, but the last couple months have been hard so my ability to not cry has dipped a lot I guess). But like, there was no one in the room with any power here. Layoffs are a faceless corporate decision.

And it was all extra scummy to me because the company is doing well. And they're projecting all this optimism about the future. But the stock price isn't making shitty wallstreet bros happy enough, so corporate decided to layoff 10,000 people--and that was a slow-drip of layoffs between January and March, which were going to be complete by end of March, and they waited for like practically March 31st to hit us.

So that was all... Monday... Tuesday morning I overslept (cuz I didn't sleep well Monday night) and woke up late so I like, kinda just jumped to my work computer. And there was an email from my skip level titled "Sad news about Alexei".

Since the third person to get laid off hadn't identified themselves, it sounded like Alexei was the third layoff. That didn't sit right with me because Alexei was a super super prolific engineer. Like I cannot overstate how prolific. He had a hand in everything. Even if you hadn't worked with him, you knew him. So I could just feel like something was wrong.

So I clicked the email. He died on Sunday evening. My skip-level only just found out and was informing everyone. I literally have an email in my inbox rescheduling a meeting that Alexei sent Sunday morning.

I didn't personally know Alexei all that well, but so many of my coworkers did, some for 24 years, and it's really really obvious how much this has rattled everyone. My project lead Ransom has been out most of the week, in part for the funeral and in part just taking bereavement time. Ransom is the main person I'm coordinating with, and we were just kicking off planning for next steps, so it feels like everything's in this artificial standstill.

And like... maybe I shouldn't phrase it like that. I did know Alexei. But I didn't "24 years" know him.

And now like, all the activity on Teams is either stuff beyond our org happening in the peripheral, or people within our org contributing thoughts and stories about Alexei.

For the last couple days I've been getting up intending to do work. But then I just kinda aimlessly stare at my remote desktop like it might do something. If I had some mindless tasks, I could do those, but my tasks right now are more like deep investigations and my brain won't turn on enough for those, and Ransom's not around to coordinate with. So I've mostly ended up just like... going and taking a nap and logging a sick day. I've also been so extremely tired.

It's been messed up...

[charmante-mp3]

The Death of Me

Yeosang x m!reader (feat. Yunho, Mingi, and Wooyoung) A bit angsty/lil sprinkle of fluff/suggestive/non-idle au This took me forever to write but here it is, lowkey one of my favorite stupid little pieces I've written.

TW; SUGGESTIVE/CURSING

18+ MINORS DNI 3.0k

---

The rain fell, mixing with the tears flowing from my eyes. After all these years of being by his side, why couldn’t he choose me? He chose her, of course he did. She’s everything I’m not. She’s extravagant, and I am only his best friend. A side character never chosen to be the romantic interest. Then again, I’m nothing like her, I’ve never been a woman and I never will be. 

~

I don’t remember when we met, I just know we’ve always been attached to the hip. Every Sunday was dedicated to dinners with the Kang’s. Which meant Mrs. Kang would come over in the afternoon with Yeosang, we’d run around the house constantly being scolded. Until we got in middle school, those Sundays we now sat in mine or his room now glued to stupid multiplayer video games. Finally, high school when everything changed. I saw things differently, I saw my childhood best friend as something more. A dirty secret I’ve kept for years. Now it’s our final summer break before our last year of high school. 

“Y/N!” I heard the deep voice yell from down stairs. I was barely awake when Yeosang barged in my room, a normal occurrence. 

“Yeosang what are you doing, it’s 9am?” I sat up trying to shrug off the sleep.

“You do remember that even if it’s summer we still have practice,” He stated. I flung myself out of bed.

“Shit,” I muttered rustling around my room to find my gear. I met Yeosang downstairs, and we booked it to school. 

After many drills and a practice game I slumped myself on the ground. Grabbing my water, my eyes flung over to an approaching Yeosang. Who was in the process of wiping his face with his shirt, causing his abs to be shown off to the world. Averting my eyes quickly, I chugged down most of the water in the bottle. I tried to shove every thought I just had to the back of my brain when he sat beside me.

“How’s it feel to finally be captain?” He said while propping his elbow on my shoulder. My heartbeat had begun pounding in my ears.

“A little weird,” I said, my voice raspy. I saw Yeosang’s eyes widen a bit, yet I had no idea why.

“Remember when you swore up and down you would be soccer captain one day? Guess you weren’t lying,” His deep chuckle rang in my ears.

“Yeah I do,” I shrugged his arm off as subtly as possible, which didn’t work at the slight offense glazed over his face.

“I think I’m gonna head home this shirt is sticking to my back,”

~

My brain had been playing tricks on me the past few days leading up to school starting once more. I thought I would see Yeosang’s gaze linger a little longer and softer. It definitely changed my mind when he started talking to this girl.

“She said yes, I’m taking her on a date!” He exclaimed. I could feel the emotional pain rip through my body. Her name was Rose, Yeosang had spoken so highly of her for two weeks.

“That’s great, Sang. But do you mind I have a bit to do,” I trailed off trying to make an excuse.

“Like what?” He said, confused. I was trying to find a lie and didn’t notice him come lean over my shoulder. 

“I don’t feel well!” I blurted out as I noticed his presence lean over me, trying to glance at my laptop. Which I abruptly closed soon after. 

“Y/n?” 

“Don’t ask Yeosang, go about your day,” This was not how you planned to come out to your lifelong best friend.

“Are you helping Mingi?” He asked dead serious. I couldn’t help the overwhelming urge to facepalm.

“God Yeosang, your density will forever be my favorite thing about you,” I chuckled, “Why would I help Mingi when everyone already knows?” I continued glancing over just to see his eyes widen. 

“Is it Hongjoong?” 

“Christ Yeosang, it’s me!” 

“Oh,” It suddenly got really quiet, which made anxiety creep up my veins. He began to speak again but I didn’t let him.

“Alright Yeosang, go enjoy your date I’m sure Hongjoong would absolutely love to dress you up! Bye,” I said, shoving him out of my room just to slam the door in his face. I pushed my weight against it, feeling the tears prick my eyes. It was time to call Wooyoung.

~

“He literally only said ‘oh’,” Wooyoung’s face dropped in annoyance. 

“Yup! Right after exclaiming his date with a girl. I didn’t even know he liked anyone,” I explained the situation that happened just half an hour ago. 

“I didn’t either,” He trailed off.

“I don’t believe it, you two have been pining at each other since the beginning of the semester,” San pitched in, walking up behind Wooyoung.

“San where the fuck did you come from?” I questioned more at Wooyoung. 

“He’s been here the entire time,” Wooyoung admitted and my eyes flew open to glare at my gossip buddy. 

“Literally everyone knows about your crush, you make it so painfully obvious,” San says, retreating away from the camera.

“Except for Yeosang apparently,” Wooyoung added.

“You’re an ass,” 

~

Graduation had come and gone and with that college started. By some curse or straight luck, Yeosang and myself had gotten a soccer scholarship to the same school. This meant you also roomed with him in a college dorm and with that he became aware of the growing distance between you two. However, you did obtain two new friends that were undeniably flirty as fuck, Mingi and Yunho.

“Yeosang for the millionth time you’ve done nothing I’m just busy,” You said walking away from the blonde headed man. 

“Too busy to go to Wooyoung’s party tomorrow?” I stopped in my tracks. Wooyoung’s parties were something I did really enjoy, simply because you never knew what it would consist of. 

“We’ll see,” I said before stepping into my class, leaving him in the halls.

~

Part of me didn’t want to go knowing Rose and Yeosang would be attached to the hip, but I ended up at Wooyoung’s house, seated in between Mingi and Yunho. 

“I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her hookup with someone at my university,” Mingi said. Both of them had their eyes trained on Yeosang and his girlfriend as I tried my best to ignore it by taking a drink of the cheap shit in my hand. 

“You should hook up with us to get your mind off of it,” Yunho stated, causing all of what I drank to be spit right back out. I expected them to laugh and shrug it off while I was coughing up my lungs, but they didn’t.

“You’re not being serious,”

“He’s being dead serious,” Mingi said to my left. 

“What the fuck,” I muttered.

“What you’re hot! Most of us would fuck you given the chance,” Gesturing to literally everyone in the room.

“Except for Yeosang apparently,” Wooyoung said, coming up just to plop himself into my lap.

“Oh fuck off you three,” I threw my head into Wooyoungs’ shoulder.

“I don’t understand why Yeosang has all your attention,” Yunho said, shoving his head in your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. As he said that my eyes flicked over to Yeosang who was already looking this way. His eyes widened along with mine as Wooyoung turned himself around in my lap. 

“I have a really funny plan,” Wooyoung said, his face inches from mine.

“We’ve already had this plan,” Mingi said, following Yunho steps in shoving himself in my neck.

“What fucking plan,” I said. I could feel the heat of embarrassment grow up my neck.

“We’re just gonna give Yeosang a little push,” Wooyoung cackled out. He draped his arms over my shoulder. I could tell they were a little tipsy.

“Just let us kiss and feel you up and you’ll see what we see,” Mingi said in my ear.

“We won’t actually fuck you, unless you want it of course,” Yunho said. 

“You three are going to give me a heart attack. Honestly whatever, I do need a little distraction,” I said, tilting my head on Yunho. Apparently that was enough from all three of them. I could feel Mingis’ hand wandering to my thigh, Yunhos’ teeth scraping my neck, and Wooyoung slightly move around in my lap. The sensations caused a grunt to rip through my vocals. My eyes couldn’t help but wander to Yeosang over Wooyoungs’ shoulder. I thought I saw a glint of anger in his eyes, but I wasn’t able to look long enough as Wooyoung gripped my chin.

“Come on Y/n, play with us,” He said before clashing his lips with mine. Wooyoung continued to wiggle around slightly in my lap and I could feel the blood rush below me.

“Fuck,” was the first thing that left my mouth as he detached himself from me. My hands quickly found Wooyoungs’ hips to actually ground myself. 

“You know, Yeosangs’ got heavy eyes on us,” Mingi said.

“He’s gripping his cup so hard I’m surprised it hasn’t broken,” Yunho added.

“Along with the hundred eyes that are around, I think Yeosang is the last person on his mind,” Wooyoung said, still breathless.

“It’s unfortunate for him really. Y/n’s lips are the greatest thing I’ve ever tasted,” Wooyoung flirted sitting up straight now.

“I want a taste,” I heard Yunho grumble to my right, soon followed by hands gripping my chin. Yunho’s teeth clashed with mine and I gripped Wooyoungs’ hips harder as Mingi attacked my neck. I could feel the harsh bites and sucks that he littered from my jaw to my shoulder. I ripped myself away from Yunho as Wooyoung grinded harsher in my lap.

“Holy shit,” I said loudly, almost forgetting the crowd of others. 

“As much as I think Yeosang’s enjoying the show, I’m not much of an exhibitionist,” Mingi said, pulling himself away from me. I caught a glimpse of Yeosang approaching us, my heart started to pound in my chest.

“Oh? Are we getting company?” Yunho stated eyes subtly looking at the scene in front of him. Yeosang was a few steps away when his girlfriend ran over engulfing him in her arms. 

“That’s enough for me,” I said, grabbing Wooyoung and lifting him up. 

“You coming?” Wooyoung asked Mingi and Yunho over my shoulder.

“Hell yeah we are,” However, we didn’t get very far as a hand roughly grabbed my wrist.

“I wanna go home,”

~

It was 4am when I arrived back at my shared apartment with Yeosang.

“You enjoyed the party huh?” Was the first thing he said after closing the door. 

“Yeah, could’ve been more interesting,” I said with my eyebrow raised.

“Is that why you’ve been ignoring me? Didn’t want those three to think I was fucking you too?” That caught me off guard.

“Yeosang what the hell?” He started ranting about who knows what as I drowned him out. “Yeosang! There’s no reason for you to be this pissed about it!” I interrupted his rant. He did nothing but stare at me with a harsh glaze. After a few seconds of silence he walked off towards his room, followed by a slight slam of his door. 

The past few days consisted of Yeosang and I completely avoiding each other, which was surprisingly easier than I thought it would be. Walking along the street, towards one of my favorite cafes, my mood was soured by the sight in the window. It was Rose and Yeosang, chatting and looking as happy as ever. 

‘He’d be perfectly fine without me in his life’ the thought crossed my mind more than once these past weeks. I could feel the familiar sting of tears as the words replayed in my head. A drop of cold water hit my head making everything ten times better. The rain fell harder and so did my tears, I started walking away oblivious to the eyes trained on my figure.

~

“So you’re gonna change schools just because of a boy?” Seonghwa, my older friend asked. 

“Why not, I’ve got others dying to have a pro soccer player,” I muttered out, my laptop displaying my options.

“He hasn’t even contacted me Seonghwa, it would be easier on both of us if I just dwindled out of his life,” I said, slamming the device shut. 

“So, you’re gonna find a whole new roommate too?” That was one question I hadn’t thought about just yet. 

“Don’t go to Wooyoung, that'd be a horrible idea,” Seonghwa said before I could even get the suggestion out of my mouth. My next suggestion got cut short as my phone rang through the air. Speaking of the devil Wooyoung was calling me, I couldn’t even say hello when I answered.

“I told Yeosang where you were hiding out,” 

“Wooyoung you dick,” My mind raced trying to find out why he even wanted to know.

“Are you an idiot or did you mute his messages,” Wooyoung asked, knowing I swore up and down he hasn’t contacted me. My face fell as I checked any messages from Yeosang. I had at least twenty messages asking where I was, if I was okay, he was sorry, and we needed to talk. If your heart could fall to your toes, that’s where mine would be. A loud knock echoed through the house and Wooyoung abruptly hung up.

“You can handle this, I'm out,” Seonghwa said as he opened the door.

“Seonghwa you bitch,” I muttered out as he walked to a different room. Yeosang slowly rounded the corner, he looked as if he’d been through hell and back.

“Fuck Yeosang what happened?” I jumped up to his side, completely forgetting my dilemma.

“Why are you hiding here? I know what I said was out of line but running isn’t your thing,” His voice was hoarse. 

“Let’s not have this conversation in Seonghwa’s living room,” I said. I gathered my stuff, told Seonghwa we’re out, and led Yeosang back to our shared apartment.

~

“You’re not getting that answer,” I told him as he kept asking why I was avoiding him.

“Rose cheated, and you weren’t here. I think I deserve to know why,” I heard his voice crack along with my heart. I felt horrible even if I was in love with him, but I was still his best friend and I left him in a hard spot.

“Yeosang, that’s even more reason not to tell you. I’ll make you tea and once you get over her, I’ll tell you about it,” I said getting up from my spot.

“What if I was already over her?” I barely heard behind me as well as slight movement. I turned and noticed he was following him to the kitchen and I let him.

“Crying over a girl doesn’t make you weak Sangie,” I heard a sigh of relief as he sat at our kitchen island.

“I was more upset at the fact you weren’t here,” He said words that only made me grow softer for him.

“Yeosang you don’t realize how much you’re killing me,” I said out loud, I didn’t mean to it just flew out before I could think.

“What do you mean?” I could hear his voice crack again. I swung my head around and could see tears beginning to cloud his eyes. I muttered out a curse and decided to throw all dignity out the window. Wrapping my hands around him I pulled him into my chest as he shook with silent sobs.

“Sangie, I’ve been in love with you since high school. These stupid feelings are hurting both of us, so I needed to distance myself or drop out of your life completely,” I finally confessed. His hands around my waist crumbled up my shirt and I let my own tears flow out. However, his sobs came to an abrupt stop.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I almost didn’t hear him as he pulled me closer into him. I stayed silent for a while as the inner panic got worse. Suddenly, he stood up pushing me back a little as his head was still tucked into my chest. I would be surprised if he couldn’t hear the rapid beating of my heart. Making it worse, he softly shoved me back at arm's length. His eyes dead set on mine and I could see the remnants of tears all over his face. His push didn’t do much as he got closer, our faces just inches apart

“Yeosang, whatcha doing?” I whispered. We stood there for what felt like hours, in reality it was probably only a few seconds. 

“I wasn’t lying when I said I was already over her,” He said. I was about to ask why that was when the most unexpected thing happened. My eyes widened as Yeosang pulled me in for a rough kiss. I tensed up and he began pulling away when I realized what was happening. Pulling him back in, I kissed him as if it was the last thing I’d ever do. I heard a slight moan come from him, which went straight to my groin. 

“Can you choose me over Wooyoung now?” 

“I already have,”

~

I was blasted awake by the loud ringing of my phone. Wooyoung was once again calling me.

“Why do you call me at the stupidest fucking times?” I asked, thoughts of last night ran through my head and I had convinced myself it was a dream.

“Did you finally fess up to Yeosang?” I rolled my eyes at him. I was about to respond when hands slowly wrapped around my waist. 

“Yeah he did, now shut the fuck up so we can sleep,” I heard the unmistakable deep voice close in my ears. 

“Holy shit it wasn’t a dream,” I heard Wooyoung’s hyena cackle mixed with Yeosang’s low chuckle. With that Wooyoung left us and I turned over to face my best friend of so many years. He definitely wasn’t fully awake, I wasn’t really either until I took notice of the state we were in.

“You really will be the death of me,”