#thought i'd end up with chris and we love chris but he's too cheerful

[immortalsins]

GOT MY FIRST CHOICE 3RD YEAR PROJECT SUPERVISOR

[perplexedflower]

Night Thoughts

Fandom: Resident Evil.

Category: F/M.

Relationship: Chris Redfield x Female Reader.

Type: Mini one shot.

Words: 979.

Summary: A tranquil, lonely night is all [Y/N] needs to arrange her thoughts, until Chris tells her the words she needed to hear all along.

Chronology: Post-Resident Evil 8.

~~~~~~~~~~

"May I come in?"

A reassuring, although slightly concerned voice was heard from inside the apartment.

"Or should I say 'come out'..." He whispered under his breath, asking himself a genuine question.

Instead of answering with words, I let out a faint sound; even though I had kept quiet, Chris knew me well enough to recognize the noise I had made as one of consent. The sound of the sliding door opening and closing joined the outdoor noise surrounding me, although the night was mostly quiet. Chris slowly walked toward me and sat beside me on the couch on which I was seated, without saying a single word. I did not really focus on him, still lost in thoughts, sitting there in silence and staring blankly at the sky: but the sudden sight of his hands appeared in the corner of my eyes, and I turned to him. Chris was holding a cup of hot chocolate in one hand, and one of coffee in the other.

He made me hot chocolate because he knows I love it and that it always helps me cheer up... How sweet.

I grabbed the mug and it warmed my hands instantly; as he set his own mug on the table in front of us, Chris sat more comfortably on the couch.

"So, what's wrong?"

"How do you know something's wrong?" I replied as I took small sips.

"Well, I'd say I started understanding something was troubling you when you told me you didn't want to spend the night at HQ but at the apartment instead."

I looked down at my cup and fell into thoughts once more; despite having the HQ of the BSAA at our disposal whenever we needed it, Chris and I had always appreciated having our own personal space. And since we were partners, we thought it would only be natural for us to rent an apartment to the side, and live as roommates. That one night I had decided to go find solitude on our apartment's large balcony; with its plants, table, and couch, it was always the one place that brought me comfort.

"Besides, I know you." Chris suddenly added. "I know when something's up."

I could see him smile from the corner of my eye: he was trying to cheer me up, but it was to no avail. His expression gently shifted and he put a caring hand on my arm, which made me look at him.

"Talk to me, [Y/N]. You can tell me what the matter is."

I stared into his eyes and sighed in somewhat of a sad tone. Still holding my mug in both hands, I looked back at the sky and horizon below us.

"Do you ever feel like... you don't know why you're here? That your life is a mess, and that all you want is for it to have somewhat of a sense?"

As I finished talking, I took a sip from my mug, expecting silence; but instead, Chris replied immediately.

"All the time, for both of these questions."

I turned back to him and saw his face bearing an expression not as sad as I had imagined.

"I've struggled to find meaning in my life countless times in the past." He started, leaving his eyes to wander. "And I've gone through so much that it's nearly impossible for me to really describe my life."

I took all of this in and looked down once more, finding his experience to be sadly relatable.

"But I do know why I'm here, now." He added. "I've thought about it before, and I've decided to put some of my past behind me."

Pulling me out of my thoughts, I looked at him while drinking one last sip from my mug.

"What's in the past stays in the past. You're the one deciding when your life starts and when it ends. And it's never too late to... start anew, in a way."

Chris' cheeks promptly reddened as he diverted his eyes from mine.

"Ever since I've started partnering up with you, I've refound motivation I had lost for my job. You make it all worth it."

I felt taken aback and did not know what to say. Looking at my empty cup, I put it on the table next to his.

"Chris..."

"So, yeah, I used to ask myself these questions a lot." He continued, still blushing. "But I don't anymore."

His blue eyes met with mine and my breath sharpened: it felt to me like he was moving closer to me, but I was too emotionally compromised to truly be sure of it.

"I mean all of this, [Y/N], I really do."

The sincerity transpiring through his voice was enough to convince me of his honesty.

"I believe you, Chris..."

I felt my murmured words bouncing off his skin and onto mine and noticed his face was indeed closer to mine; so close that our lips met. With warmth and love, his mouth embraced mine, and so did his body. We both lay down on the couch as we cuddled while kissing. His kiss felt so soft and the setting was so romantic that it almost felt too good to be true: but I knew it was real when Chris pulled away and gave me a passionate smile.

"Your lips taste of chocolate." He whispered affectionately.

"Well, you're one to talk, you made yourself coffee but didn't even drink it." I teased him back.

He chuckled softly before kissing my lips once more. I saw a spark in his eyes as he pulled me up against him, still smiling.

"C'mon, let's get ourselves inside, we'll be warmer."

[walkingstackofbooks]

Picard thoughts, now I've finished it:

Season 1 and 2 were really fun, actually! A few things that felt a bit flat, but idk, they did feel very Trek to me at heart. I was gripped throughout, couldn't stop clicking "next epsiode" XD

Season 3.... I got into it by the end, and I was far more okay with the reason for Jack being special than I assumed I was going to be, but still... 🤷‍♀️ definitely not my fav. The first few dragged most definitely.

I was NOT expecting Worf to be my favourite character, like, ever, but I was cheering every time he was on screen tbh, he was fantastic XD

I really like what they did with Seven, though I feel like they could have done more. But seeing that she'd grown into the warmest, most caring human... that was super special 💖💖

(LOVED that even though s2 was highlighting how fucked-up we are in 2024, they never brought in homophobia. Like, it would have been so easy and I'd have understood why they might have, but having that scene where they were pretending to have just got engaged and that just feel so normal, even in the "past" - idk, it was just nice that Raffi and Seven never felt any different from any other couple.)

All the new characters from s1 I really, really loved. Chris, Raffi, Agnes, Soji - ❤️❤️❤️❤️ they were all fantastic.

Most of the time, the callbacks to classic Trek worked very well - possibly a bit much in s3, but only in parts. Overall, there was a hell of a lot of love for Old Trek. Honourable mention to the music cues, cause man, whatever you think about New Trek, they use the themes of TOS, Voy, DS9 etc so well and it's beautiful. The Fleet museum scene - yeaaaa, shivers <3 <3 <3

I do feel like they went a bit too far down the rabbit-hole of "this isn't really a utopia". Idk, I think some of it felt a bit more grimdark-for-the-sake-of-it rather than the DS9 vibe of yes-it's-dark-in-here-but-there's-still-hope

Speaking of DS9 - the changelings and Dominion war legacy.... I honestly *don't* know what to make of that. It was interesting, seeing more of them, and I think some of the new lore might even have some... fun(?) implications to retcon onto what happened in DS9. But also... idk. The fact that Worf was the only DS9 character? I mean I'm sure the Enterprise crew fought in the Dominion war, but it was kind of rough seeing that plot without my guys from DS9.

Not a fan of the continued found-family-is-fine-(but-actually-biological-family-is-Everything) vibes. I had a problem with this in Voyager, wasn't expecting it to show up here ngl :/

Also what the hell was the whole Laris thing?? I mean I liked her as a character, but the romance was absolutely pointless. But also, even though I hated the romance, it felt super disrepectful to not even mention her at the end, given how 'important' she'd been previously?? Like, why was it even needed if they weren't going to do anything with it? (not that i wanted them to do anythign with it but yeah. gahhh)

**Q** however???? Omg, was not expecting it to be quite that gay 😅😅 I was SOBBING at the end of s2 and I've never been /that/ invested in Qcard but it is so real actually. Yeah, that rocked.

I'm sure there's more but overall: FAR better than I expected! I'd heard bad things about it, and TNG is not my favourite Trek at all, so I wasn't looking forward to watching it, but it was, genuinely, quite good. Definitely more than a few bits to be frustrated by, but I guess that's every Trek to be honest, so... yeah. Pleasantly surprised. Thanks, Picard.

[archerincombat]

*continuing with the long ask trend, I'm so sorry but I see we agree on a lot and I have many rants in me*

Yeah, I love their relationship, but I hated that scene. The lack of trust, plus him all but saying he didn't even care about Buck's health, more that he could be a danger to others. That hurt, even if ultimately it wasn't what he really meant. And I hated how dismissive he was afterwards too. Like he had granted Buck a favor by taking him back when, again, he was posed to WIN that lawsuit, and it was the higher ups' choice to reinstate him, not Bobby's.

The lack of welcome back party, or even welcome back wishes is even sadder after the Red episode. They're seen doing all these little celebrations (to cheer Hen up and then to congratulate her for the "surgery", for example), and yet the only one who actually welcomed him back was Hen, and even then she basically did it on the down low. And nobody congratulated him on making it back even after they all made up!

OMG, I hadn't even thought of connecting the Lena thing this way, but you're absolutely right! I'd call that karma.

And yeah, I love Eddie and especially his evolution in s4 and how supportive he becomes of Buck and his emotional needs, but in s3 he was pretty dismissive. Yeah, I get it was something he grew up hearing and internalizing, but again, I feel like when Buck makes mistakes there's a whole production of people being disappointed but not surprised (typical reactions when he makes bitchy comments) and he always ends up apologizing or being made to look bad, but when it's others acting like dicks (all the comments about his intelligence for example) we never see the reverse, or anyone watching the interaction even looking troubled about it.

Have we actually seen anyone apologize to him? (Honest question, I can't remember if we have). Cause even Abby during 3x18 and his parents in 4x05 never even hint at the words "I'm sorry", and in fact he often is the one who ends up apologizing over his reaction. Now, again, we don't know if those apologies happened off screen (doubtful, the only one I see plausibly happening is Eddie's), but it would have been nice if the show has at least hinted that the characters had talked about it.

You are right, Eddie hit the nail on the head when he said he's not "expendable" as opposed to the others telling him he's not "invincible". But now you wrote the word "reckless" and I have another complaint:

When has Buck been reckless? Impulsive, absolutely. Self-sacrificing, maybe. A daredevil, yes. But (excluding s1 bc I don't remember it that well) his actions have always been either sanctioned by or on Bobby's order except for two occasions (the train derailment and the crane thing in 4x14). Am I remembering wrong? Did he disobey orders any other time? (Yeah, stealing the truck for sex excluded). Others, on the other hand, have disobeyed direct orders/protocol without anybody giving them much grief, or even being congratulated for it (Eddie climbing the house on fire during the blackout, Hen operating on the guy in the ambulance, the well rescue).

I feel like they sometimes still see the impulsive kid from s1, and think they are right because he "always gets hurt", when the three times it happened it was 1, because of a bomber and so not his fault; 2, because of a natural disaster he found himself in and so not his fault; 3, because he had hardware in his leg that reacted with his body in an unexpected way he didn't know he had to look out for, and so, arguably, still not his fault.

That said, I absolutely love how the buddie relationship evolved, and that he now has at least Eddie (and Chris) in his corner. Again no character bashing, and I may be biased bc I love the character, but it's a bit mean to have all these dismissive and disparaging comments towards a character who has been shown to have a lot of insecurities, even if it's for comedic relief.

*that's all for now, I swear. Sorry again!*

Stop apologizing. No one in my family wants to rant about the details with me. Most aren’t even buddie shippers, so you see my dilemma (and my tendency to analyze the shit out of everything gets tiresome) but I’m SO glad for your asks, don’t think otherwise.

You keep hitting the key word on the head. Dismissal, dismissive, whatever you want to call it. Rarely, if ever, do they take Buck seriously. In my opinion, Bobby seems to be the worst at it, and I would say that’s just a generational thing except look at the free reign he gives Eddie. Honestly, though, it might be a caring too much thing, because he treats Athena in a similar way in that fight in 4x13. I just thought of this, so give me a minute to develop that concept, lol.

Maybe it’s because I relate too much to Buck, but it stings a little (a lot) when those disparaging comments are made. And they’re made constantly. Like when Chim asks, “Why don’t you ask Maddie what she wrote for your college essay?”. I know it’s a joke. You know it’s a joke. Buck knows it’s a joke. But Buck’s not dumb. He’s a golden retreiver in literally every aspect, but he’s not dumb.

In my recollection, Maddie and Chim apologize for the Daniel thing. Though I have bone to pick with Chimney’s apology and I’ll elaborate if you want me to. But yeah, no apologies made about the lawsuit come to mind which is anger-inducing.

This is a bit of a tangent, but your “disappointed, but not surprised” comment for some reason made me think of Athena and Buck’s relationship. Athena’s never surprised, but apart from Eddie and Maddie, I feel like she understands Buck the best. Maybe to do with her strained relationship with her own mother.

Because, I mean, we see Buck get in trouble with Athena more times than we can count: the pilot, hospital jail, the call center, when Sue got run over. But she’s never...mean about it. At least, not in a way that I’ve noticed. There’s a fundamental difference between how Athena mothers Buck and how Bobby fathers him that I can’t put into words, but I thought I’d put it out there.

And you drove everything home with your argument about Buck’s ‘recklessness’. I want to clarify that I don’t think Buck is reckless – a daredevil, maybe, when the stakes aren’t high. But that’s the point. When the stakes aren’t high, who cares if he wants to show off? Unless it’s a stupid legal thing, Buck always follows orders. Unless, someone’s life is at stake. Which is exactly how Eddie reacted during the blackout or Hen in the ambulance. Like you said, the only difference is that they get commended for it, and Buck gets reprimanded.

So no, Buck’s not reckless. And looking at the crane scene, I don’t see how anyone could think he is. The adjective that first comes to mind when I think of Buck is tragic. “Characterized by extreme sorrow.” How unimportant do you have to think yourself to make yourself an active target for a sniper because you think you’re the most expendable? How much do you have to hate yourself to take the blame in every single one of your relationships regardless of whose fault it was? There’s something so heartbreaking about Evan Buckley. I feel like though the 118 (mostly Eddie) have evolved enough to look a bit deeper behind the fake smiles and comedic relief, Buck’s insecurities could last for seasons without being resolved.

Hopefully this made sense because it’s late and I did not proof-read, but keep ranting because there’s nothing that can make me type out 500 words in 15 minutes like Evan Buckley can.

[randomsevans]

Pain of being in love part 3

Original apart of @jtargaryen18 #30daysofchris2020

Two weeks had dragged by as you felt like an empty shell going day by day . You hadn't spoken to anyone apart form Scott ,you haven't left the house unless it was for a good reason. You would constantly forget to eat so Scott became like your own personal chief.

And all this because the time had finally arrived where your love for chris was outshone by his own love for someone else .

Scott had told you that Lisa and Minka have been planning a engagement party much to chris dislike as he sees the announcement as an engagement party .

Chris had tried to call you but you always let it go to voice mail as it was probably an invitation to the party next Saturday. You really didnt want to go . The pain in your heart was begaing you not to as it cant take anymore hurt . But you knew as being the brothers best friend and a family friend you need to go . Because as much as it hurt you . You know that this will make Chris happy and you need to be happy for him even tho you are dying inside .

++++++++++++

It was the day before the party so the Friday and some how Scott had managed to get you out of your bed and house only to be in his house on his couch . Currently eating too much mint chocolate chip ice cream along with this stuiped movie Scott forced you to watch

Love Rosie .

"How fuckin ironic "

You knew that Scott put picked this movie on purpose . Whether it was for the both of you to make fun or the movie like you usual do or let you watch it because it was so fuckin relatable. Either way you too had ended up watching the movie in silence with a few mumbles about food or if one was getting up or not and even a giggle or two when Rosie was struggling with a new born .

It had got to the part of the wedding and oh by god how you related to it . Rosie speech on how she loves him no matter where he is or who hes with .. your heart was yelling someone gets it . You were stuck in your own your head focusing on Rosie words until Scott spoke up.

"How ?" He ask

"What ? " you were confused and faced him as he faced you turning his body as the movie played in the back ground .

"How , when, why ?" He stared directly into your eyes with the soft blue shade he shares with his brother

"What ? " you asked again

"When did you begin to have feeling for my brother and why ... and how much because not to be mean but iv never seen you like this not ever so his engagement clear has affected you " he said softly

You hadn't yet actually spoken the words I love your brother to Scott or I'm in love with him to be more exact but Scott had guest it never asked about it until now .

You were silent for a moment thinking ... well more like your head was empty of thoughts you just liked the silence.

"Who said I have feeling.... "

"Y/n " Scott cut you off

You shift in your seat turning to face Scott legs cross over each other and hands in your lap looking down .

"I .. I had always had a crush on him you know ... who didnt " scott hummed in agreement

"But do you remember that day when I...was ment to have my first date but he never showed up "

Once again Scott hummed

"Well Chris picked me up... and he tried cheering me up .. and it worked "

You glanced up a Scott who looked softly at you as your eyes hot glassy . You looked back down to your hands as there stared nervously fiddling with the ends of the blanket that was wrapped around you.

"Well we were at a dinner ... and do you know in movies it like you have loved someone and you always new . Well it wasnt like that ... "

You took a deep breath.

"I hit me .. like a truck ... he was sitting at the other side of the table... and it hit me everything flooded I... love him but not just that . Because I love you ."

That caused Scott to scoffed as if ' I know you do who doesnt '

"It was more ... well more like a different type of love ... or more like . I was in love in love with him ."

You glance up at the ceiling letting the tears sink back into your eyes as you shake your head .

"I AM in love with him "

You looked at Scott who now had tears in his eyes ..and red showing he was trying to hold them back .

"And I think I always will . "

You were both silent for a seconde

"No matter where he is ... or who hes with a will always love him "

That caused you both to giggle as you made your way into Scotts open arms

"Quoting are we " he chuckled as your head landed on his chest as his arms wrapped around you .

"Well you know me "

You heard him sniff as you felt a tear drop into your hair .

"Oh .. god ... how have you kept it in for so long... that was like ... .... we were 14 or 15 fuck how ? Why ?" He said softly as tears clouded his voice .

"I didnt say anything or do anything because he will never and has never felt the same I'm... im like a sister to him ...in a weird way... and I'd never deserve him ....."

You left your head and looked at Scott .

"And at the same time I realised iam in love with him I also knew nothing would become of it because... " tears bow fell down your eyes .

"Because it was better to have both of you in my life then not to have neither of you ... and I wasnt willing to risk it ..... and I knew ... I knew this time would come .... but it dosnt stop .... it doesn't stop it hurting " you couldn't help but let it all out as you tucked your self back into Scott

He placed a kiss in your hair

"Your a silly one ain't ya ..... I will always be here you know that " he said softly

"You do know that right ?"

You just nodded as your tears drained his shirt .

++++++++++

You stood at Lisa front door with Scott by your side much like that dreaded day three weeks ago . You were in a blue floral dress in small pumps waiting patiently as you heard the party already up and ready with in .

"Its not late to turn back " Scott whisper in your ear just before the door swang open. To reveal Minka at the door with a giant smile and an even bigger diamond on her left hand . That had somehow made your heat beat pain through out your veins.

"It is now " you whisper back before putting a wide fake smile on

"Minka .... contagralations " you tired your best not to sound bitter you really did .

"Y/n right ? " she asked looking you up and down . You just nodded your head

She was about to speak again when Chris practically ripped the door hinges off as he opened the door wider . As his eyes landed on you there grew and his month hung open as he let out a deep sigh . Making your heat beat fast instead of the numb feeling it has had over the last three weeks .

"Y/n " was all he said a small whisper .

You and Chris eyes were locked missing the fallen smile of Minka as she looked between the two of you here eyebrows knitting . While Scott had a small smirked placed on his lips due to Minka reaction

"Chris I thought we agreed I'd do the door " Minka snapped at chris . Breaking his eye contact with you . To glance at Minka for a split seconde

"Um yeah sorry " he said quickly and looked back deep into your eyes , with the softest blue shade "I... I just heard her name ..." he sighed and he said it slowly and softly . He tilted his head almost like a child went there feelings are hurt . "I haven't..... I havnt see you ... heard form you ... I tried calling but ..I always ... "

"I was busy " you cut him off

Before chris could answer or even process what you said , Lisa pops her head at the other side of the door

"What are you all doing out here ! ... come on come in "she took at step back with a wide smile , as you stepped in .

She pulled you in to a tight high as she always does "isn't this amazing.... finally get to celebrate my boy with hes wife to be "

You closed your eyes as your rested your chin on her shoulder and sighed "it sure is "

You took a step back and put on the widest smile .

What you didnt know was as you were facing momma Evan's. Two blue eyed boys looked at you with soften eyes but both for different reasons .

"Come on let's join the others " lisa said to all of us.

"I couldn't agree more Mrs Evan's " minka replied

"How many times Lisa or even better mom " lisa laught her and Minka walked side by side to the garden

"Ma! " chris said .

"What she will be my daughter in law soon so she better get use it " both lisa and Minka laught and diserperared into the garden . Leaving you , Scott and Chris still in the hall way of the front door .

"How soon exactly ?" Scott asked the fill the uneasy silence .

"Um its gonna be a fall wedding " chris replied

"Oh " was all you said as you felt the pit in your stomach grow and your heart beating fast

"Like .... next year or two ?" Scott said slowly shrugging with his hands in his pockets .

"Uh no " Chris paused and took at quick glance at you and looked at the floor . "This year .... in 3 months " he sighed.

And as if it wasnt possible you felt your heart crack more .

Scott only let out a deep sigh and grab your arm " come on y/n let's get a drink " you nod you head and began to walk to the garden . But you turned your head over your should and with a deep sigh , you dry throat and stinging eyes .

"Contraglation Chris " you sighted, eys watery " I'm... happy for yo... you ... sh ...Minka is a lucky girl " you choked out as Scott pulled you futher away as he tried to save you from futher heart break or for you to continue lying .

"I'm...not " Chris mumbled silently as you were out of earshot .. and took a deep sigh and then finally followed your direction and headed for the back yard.

The never ending growing pit in your soul and tears in your heart was growing more painful as you chuged down your first of many drinks of the night. But what do you expect it's the pain of being in love

Ps I didnt realise that the actress (lily colin)that play Rosie in the movie love Rosie actual dated chris

[robinrunsfiction]

Know how I'm always crawling to you for Ryan Ross fanfic? Now I'm here for the other Ryan, (the Seaman one xD). if you ever have time or the spirit for it, I'd love to read a friends to lovers /angst to fluff story with him. I haven't thought about anything else these past days xD love you ^^

One Love

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x ReaderRating: GeneralRequested By: @x-whyareyoureadingthis-xWord Count: ~2,300Author’s Note: I love Ryan, he’s so smiley and was so nice when I got to meet him a couple months ago (and no I will never stop bringing that up lol), I hope you like this! The story was inspired by the song One Love by Marianas Trench

It was a quiet Saturday afternoon and (YN) was sitting around trying think of something to do with her day off. Household chores didn’t sound interesting, going for a walk could be an option, but being a little lazy seemed like a solid choice too. Before she could settle on anything, her phone started to go off beside her. Checking it, her heart skipped a beat as she saw it was from her friend Ryan.

From: Ryan 💙Are you free?

Yea what’s up?

From: Ryan 💙I’m at the cafe on 5th street if you can meet me here?

On my way 😊

When (YN) arrived, she found Ryan already sitting in the back corner of the café. He looked forlorn as he stared at the coffee swirling in the mug in front of him.

“Ryan, what’s going on?” She asked as she sat down across from him. She knew him well enough to know something was definitely wrong.

“Kaley broke up with me,” he said barely looking up.

“What? I’m so sorry! Are you ok? What can I do?” She replied, reaching across the table and squeezing his hand. As soon as her hand connected with his and she realized what she had done, she started to pull back, but Ryan held on so she relented.

“I just don’t understand. I thought it might be love, that maybe she would be the one. But she said I wasn’t giving her the attention she needed, that I seemed distracted by…” he trailed off as he glanced up at (YN).

“Your music?” (YN) offered, eyebrows raised. There was no way the next thinghe was about to say was her name. Sure, they were friends, they texted eachother a lot and hung out together, but that’s what friends did. More thananything she hoped that she hadn’t come between Ryan and happiness.

“Yea, and getting ready for tour,” he replied almost too quickly. “But (YN), what if one love is all you get?“

“Then what you had with Kaley wasn’t really love,” (YN) replied. “Then there is someone else out there who is going to understand you, and you’ll be able to work through your problems with them, and you’ll make time for each other and understand when you just can’t. But at the end of the day all that will matter is that you love each other. And then that’s your love.“

Ryan looked up at (YN), her eyes were trained on the table between them. He didn’t know what to say, not because he didn’t believe it, but because of how she said it. Her voice wavered like she was nervous but she spoke with a conviction that made him believe every word.

“Thanks,” he said softly, and she looked up.

“I’m gonna go get a coffee, I’ll be right back,” she said, finally letting go of his hand and giving him a quick smile as she got up. When she returned, she also bought a plate of chocolate chip cookies to share. “Nothing helps a broken heart like chocolate,” she said with a smile.

“You sure know how to take care of a broken heart,” he said with a smile as he reached for a cookie.

“Oh, well, sometimes you just know these things,” she said with an awkward laugh. What she wanted to say was ‘I’ve been walking around with a broken heart for months while you were with Kaley, and every girl before her since we met. I figured out how to deal with it.’ But she couldn’t say that, not today at least. Today wasn’t about her, it was about making the person she loved most of all feel better.

~

A couple months later, Ryan had finally returned home from tour with Dallon. After taking a few days to sleep and recover from the exhausting travel schedule, he headed out to a party his friend was throwing. As he was hanging out in the kitchen, catching up with some friends, a familiar voice caught his attention. Then (YN) walked into the kitchen.

“(YN)!” Ryan called.

“You are here!” she grinned and hurried over to give him a hug. It had been too long since she had felt his arms around her, and she didn’t realize how much she missed it. “Tell me all about your tour!”

“I already told you almost everything along the way,” Ryan laughed, the enthusiasm and joy on her face made his heart race. Something had changed when he was away on tour. He and (YN) had always been close, but afterKaley had dumped him, (YN) had been there for him more than he had expected. She was supportive and kind and understood when he was late to hang out because practice ran long. He realized how she was always glad to hear from him and listen to how tour was going. He found that his favorite notification had become when she posted a random selfie or sent him a goofy text out of the blue. He had decided that the next time he saw her, he would ask her out, and tonight was going to be that night.

(YN) hopped up on a counter and they started chatting about the last few days of the tour. As they talked, Ryan found himself leaning against the counter next to her and he started to work up his courage for what he wanted to do. After a few more minutes, more people had come into the kitchen and they could barely hear their conversation even though they were only inches apart.

“You wanna go someplace quieter?” Ryan asked, leaning in to her ear. When he pulled back, he had a shy smile that made (YN)’s heart flip.

(YN) had just opened her mouth to respond when someone was calling her name. “Hey! Where have you been all night?”

“Oh, sorry, I ran into my friend Ryan, I’ve talked about him to you before. He just got back to town. Umm, Ryan, this is Chad, we’re going out.” She ended the sentence with an upward inflection, as if she wasn’t sure how to describe the relationship. Ryan could see that she was blushing and averting her gaze from both men.

“Oh yea, Ryan, (YN) never shuts up about you,” Chad laughed, extending his hand for Ryan to shake.

Ryan wanted to say ‘(YN) hasn’t mentioned you once,’ but instead he shook Chad’s hand and smiled politely. “Nice to meet you.”

“We’re gonna go over to Chris’ place, you coming along?” Chad asked.

“Oh, umm,” (YN) looked between Chad and Ryan. The blush in her cheeks started to burn hotter as she berated herself for even taking this long to decide. This shouldn’t be a hard choice; she should go with Chad because she was dating Chad.

“If you wanna stay and catch up with Ryan, that’s fine, I’ll see you later,” Chad said, but the annoyance was evident in his tone. (YN) gave him a tight-lipped smile, and he leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips. (YN) didn’t even have a chance to close her eyes before she saw Ryan look away dejectedly. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“So, umm, still wanna go someplace quieter?” (YN) asked awkwardly once Chad had walked away.

“It’s up to you,” Ryan replied trying to hide the disappointment he felt.

“Yea, lets go outside, there’s too many people in here, I need fresh air,” she said hopping off the counter, leading the way out the back door.

“How long have you and Chad been going out?” Ryan asked when they sat down on the swinging bench in a corner of the patio.

“Umm, like a month,” she said, staring at the ground in front of them.

“Do you like him?”

“What kind of question is that?” she asked, looking up at Ryan like he was crazy.

“You never mentioned him or anything,” he replied.

“Well you were gone, and he asked me out and it was nice, so we went out some more and here we are,” (YN) shrugged.

“What does me being gone have to do with it?” he pressed.

“Nothing, just that’s when it happened,” she replied, looking back at the ground.

“Are you happy?”

She paused. ‘No because he isn’t you,’ screamed in her head. “Sure.”

Ryan looked at her with his brow furrowed, knowing she wasn’t giving him the whole truth. “Ok. Wanna grab something to drink?”

“Good idea!” She replied quickly, getting up and following him back inside to the party.

~

The next day, (YN) woke up and saw she had a message from Chad.

Can I come over today? We need to talk

(YN)’s stomach flipped as she typed out her response.

Yea, whenever

A few hours later, there was a knock at her front door. “Hey Chad,” she greeted him, trying to keep her tone light and cheerful, but she knew deep down that it was not going to be a good conversation.

“Hey,” he responded much more somberly as he walked in. “We need to talk.”

“Yea, you said that. What do you want to talk about?” She asked leading him over to the couch where she sat down, but he remained standing.

“Us, you, Ryan.”

“Ryan? What does he have to do with anything?”

“Apparently everything. I saw the way you were looking at him when you apparently forgot who you were at the party with. You didn’t kiss me back when I left. You chose to stay with him so you could catch up like you haven’t been texting non-stop everyday the whole time he’s been gone. Did you ever mention me to him? This supposed friend that you talk to all the time, why would you not mention me? Because you don’t want me in your life (YN). You want him, admit it.”

(YN) sat back, stunned. She floundered for the right words to say, but she didn’t want to lie either. “I… I’m sorry, its not like that,” she finally stammered.

“It is, just admit it. If you can’t admit it to me, admit it to yourself so you can stop hurting other people who don’t deserve it. I’m done.”

“I’m sorry,” (YN) squeaked out as Chad slammed the door shut behind him.

~

Ryan had just gotten home from a meeting with Dallon and had barely set his things down when he heard a knock at his door.

“Chad? What are you doing here?” Ryan asked, surprised to see him at his door.

“I just broke up with (YN).”

“What? Why?”

“Because she’s totally in love with you, Ryan. I can tell because last night she looked at you in a way she’s never looked at me. Hell, you didn’t even know I existed until last night and when I said she never shuts up about you, I wasn’t kidding. And I don’t know if you have any feelings for her, but if you do, I think you should go to her now because she’s probably reeling,” Chad said before turning to go.

Ryan watched him leave in stunned silence as raindrops started to fall. The words that were echoing through his head started to register and his heart started racing. He grabbed his jacket and keys and hurried out the door.

~

(YN) was still sitting on the spot on the couch where she had been when Chad left. Her mind was spinning. She felt a little relieved, no longer having to pretend, but now she was alone. What if Ryan didn’t feel the same way about her and she was just going to be alone forever? What if she could have tried harder with Chad, at least she wouldn’t be alone. No. That wasn’t fair to him, he deserved someone who loved him.

She was startled by her doorbell ringing. She didn’t know how long she had been staring into space, lost in her thoughts, but noticing that it had started to rain, she hurried to open the door for the poor person getting soaked outside.

“Ryan,” she gasped when she saw him. Her heart jumped into her throat and she felt her hands start to shake. “What are you doing here? Come in.”

“Chad came to my place and he told me what happened,” he said as he stepped through the doorway, shutting the door behind him. He had gotten soaked just from the time it took him to get from his car to her door.

(YN)’s cheeks started to burn red. “Wha-what did he say happened?”

“That he ended things with you, because he thinks you have feelings for…” he trailed off, looking down. “For me.”

(YN) felt tears welling up in her eyes and nodded silently, not trusting her voice. He looked up; eyes wide.

“It’s true?”

“Yea,” (YN) whispered. “It’s true. I could never love Chad because I’ve always loved you. I have for years!” The tears started to spill down her cheeks. He reached up and tried to brush them away, but his hands were still wet from the rain and just left her cheek wetter than before. They both laughed lightly, but he left his hand lingering against her cheek. Then Ryan leaned down, his lips capturing hers as she reached up and ran her fingers through his wet hair. His other hand slid around to her lower back and he held her against him. When they pulled back for air, he rested his forehead against hers.

“I came here because I love you too, (YN). Back when Kaley broke up with me, you told me that there would be someone else who loved me more, that they would be my one love and I want it to be you (YN). I want you to be my one love.”

“It will always be me,” she replied softly before their lips met again.