#thought about my prospects in life and the fact that i'm doing fuck all about it because i'm just paralyzed and useless and scared

[underestimated-heroine]

The fact that radfems spread this post around is actually really interesting--infuriating, but interesting. Because what they've really done here is tell on themselves.

This is the shrimp guy story:

From an anonymous green text called "shrimp saved my life" [emphasis mine]:

>be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before >he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG >throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die >realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on >eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade >the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up >a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp >l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending >start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out >relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp >for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake >it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs >cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic >they actually think my shrimp are really cool >they start inviting me to their social events >start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew >We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you.

He did address his relationship with women. By finding a hobby and passion and working on himself--"touching grass"--he stepped away from the echo chamber that filled him with all this rage and convinced him women were to blame for all of his problems. As someone once wisely observed, "the cure is going offline and realizing it's just. really not that big a deal."

And that is what radfems have not done, so of course they didn't spot the quiet flashpoint of shrimp guy's personal development within his story.

Edit: it's been brought to my attention that the version of the greentext post I lifted the text from was censored by someone else. My bad for not realizing that, tbh it was done so well I thought shrimp guy had done it himself, but that's an important part of the post. I've gone back through and un-censored it. The reply which was spread around with the original post addressed the words themselves well, I think; however distasteful and fucked up the incel rabbit hole is, it doesn't diminish his growth.

[feyd-meowtha]

@middlingmay's Fic Rec Questions

I saw this list and thought it would be fun to give it a go!!

1) Fic that's made you laugh the most

He May Be The Reason by @c-goldthorn. It's a Clegan Notting Hill au and it makes me squeal with delight. So cute that I got distracted while reading it and missed my stop on the train.

2) A fic that made you cry

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder by pillar of our community @swifty-fox. I'm sure most ppl have probably read this one but it's such an amazing post-show continuation that really doesn't pull it's punches when it comes to both PTSD and the realities of being gay in the 40s

3) Fave comfort, silly fic

It's a little rogue but I'm gonna say Awake, Alive by the wonderful @whirlpool-blogs. It's a pet sematary au so not exactly what you would call traditionally comforting but the ending makes me so happy and the whole thing is just a joy. The fact that this came to mind when I thought 'comfort fic' is probably pretty telling about me as a person....

4) The fic that made you try a genre or trope that you don't usually read

This is also a bit rogue but it was tricky since I'll read anything, so I'll go with Strings of the Strings of Life by the lovely @weimarweekly, not because of any of the content but because I don't, as a general rule, read Dune fic that was written after Dune 2 released. I've bored everyone to tears with my complaints about that version of Feyd but it is what it is so I tend not to like any fics written about that version of the character BUT the prospect of a feydpaul Berlin techno au was too delicious to resist and the whole fic is so fun. It makes me miss Germany sooo bad.

5) An author who has inspired your own fic writing

This one has got to go to the anonymous author of both Close And Yet Closer and The Replacement. Both of these fics are god tier and their character psychology and willingness to allow their versions of the characters and relationships to be ugly and messy are so inspiring to me. They were also the first person in the John/Hausman tag on ao3 which is currently just me and them. I think about the replacement all the time and it was a HUGE influence on 3am Eternal. If I can ever write half as well as them I will die happy.

6) What are your fave underdog authors? Those that you feel are underappreciated and deserve a bit more love

Hmmm, this is kinda hard cus the MOTA fandom is pretty small so I feel like a lot of stuff gets decent buzz. Imma shout out @whirlpool-blogs again and especially their fucked up clegans fics, I have read and reread all of their works and they're always so so good. I will also add @steeseman for Up In Our Bedroom. It's another great post-canon fic and while it has a lot of hits, I don't think I've seen anyone talking about it on here.

7) What's one thing you wish writers/readers did more of when it comes to fanfiction.

The obvious one is comment, it really does make my day when I get a nice comment, even just a couple words or an emoji mean a lot. The other thing I would say is writing curt/Kenny fic, there's not much out there and I want more please. Also more fics where characters relationships are like genuinely kind of fucked up and toxic. I love that shit.

8) What's one thing you wish writers/readers did less of when it comes to fanfiction.

Oh man, I really do not know. The only thing I can think of is that I hate the word 'yap' or 'yapping' so if I see it in a fic I shudder. Hmmmm, I guess I also wish that there was a little more consideration when writing Gale's dad as an alcoholic because it's often treated as the basis for him being a shitty person. Addicts aren't automatically bad people and I sometimes feel like it's portrayed that way. @blixabargelds wrote an excellent post on this

9) I'm adding an extra one and that is current WIPs I am reading

Sympathy For The Devil by @blixabargelds, it's a modern ghost hunting AU and the set up is AMAZING. I will also throw Superstar in here even though it's not releasing main story chapters yet, everything Frankie writes is so tailored to my personal tastes it's crazy and I am so excited to read @mildharm's John POV chapters too. Literally foaming at the mouth thinking about it rn. When it starts being released fully, I fear it may kill me.

Love Song From A Dog and The Heart Is A Muscle by @swifty-fox. I've only just started THIAM but I'm so hyped for their take on the tattoo shop/flower shop au.

Hit Me Where The Heart Is by @london-cowboy makes me legitimately insane. I jump for joy whenever there is a new update, these versions of the characters and their stories are, as Paris Hilton would say, beyond. I do not have the words to say how much I am loving this fic. The characters and setting feel so real and it's just so creative. AMAZING.

I need to get around to starting let us not desert one another; we are an injured body and also the time skip fic whose name escapes me by @irregularcollapse and also catching up with @weimarweekly's rodeo fic, Looking For Eight

Writing this was very fun and I encourage anyone reading to give it a go if they fancy it!!

[lolasimms]

a lots gonna change pt.7

Summary: Married life isn’t great, infidelity ensues, and things change

next chapter

"I'm sorry... what?" You laugh, surely she couldn't be serious, you were starting to believe that delusion and craziness was following you around now.

"I'm not lying y/n, she and I have been seeing each other for a while now" Amelia mutters, unceremoniously as she takes peeks into your home. You immediately become protective and stand closer to the door, in case she suddenly went into rampage and tried harming you or even worse, harming Lila.

"Amelia I have to ask, do you really expect me to believe you?" She sighs aloud and then crosses her arms over her chest in defence at your words.

"Why wouldn't you, y/n... maybe you don't know Ellie as much as you think you do."

"She's my wife, I'd like to think I know her quite well" you defend, you were starting to get irritated, just who did she think she was to be coming into your home and questioning you.

"Y/n we need to sit down and talk about this, I'm coming to you as a woman. I realised what she and I have done is wrong and the only way I can repay you is to confess" her eyes were pleading, her brown orbs staring deep into you and you had to try your hardest not to crack.

"Amelia I can't do thi-" you're cut off when she begins rambling.

"Y/n I have photos, texts and call logs, I can prove it to you please just let me show you!" Her voice was now raising, and you couldn't bare the thought of any of your neighbours coming out and seeing any of this commotion.

"Fine, come in"

-

Ellie was having a great morning, the two of you had made love, she and Lila had taken a walk to the park and then she was off to the golf course with Vic and Page. With Amelia off of her back, she and y/n's relationship strengthening and her time off at work, she had never felt better. Not to mention the fact that she had absolutely smashed Vic and Paige at golf today.

"We getting drinks or heading to your place?" Paige questions, as she places her club back into the trolley.

"We can have drinks at my place, I'm pretty sure y/n opened up a bottle of moscato" Ellie says, placing the trolley into the golf cart.

"Honestly I'm down to get tipsy, moscato sounds nice" Vic laughs and gets into the cart, as the two women follow suit.

-

"This was one of the hotels we frequently stayed at, she was strict about phones but once in a while it was dominating to be able to capture such sweet moments between us" Amelia reminisces on the intimate times she had spent with your wife . Tears were now flowing freely down your face, and you felt like your world had stood still. At first you had no reason to believe her, she was probably some weirdo that go a kick out of ruining lives you thought, but what would she benefit from lying? You asked yourself, but these photos... these photos of your wife, the woman you so strongly loved, the woman who you shared a child with, laid in bed with a stranger who wasn't you had solidified it. Ellie had been cheating on you, and it had finally started to make sense. The next photo however had done it for you, the both of them stood in-front of a mirror as she held Amelia in her arms, a faint smile on her face, that's when a sob broke out of you and all prospects of self dignity had broken.

"Look Amelia, if you think I'm blaming you I'm not, sure I hold a small level of resentment because you fucked my wife, but she's the one who made a vow to me, this ring symbolises... well it symbolised monogamy and she couldn't even uphold that" you say as you stand in front of her, as she awkwardly sits on the sofa. Amelia wasn't expecting this, in fact she expected a slap to the face. She knew for a fact that if this ever happened when her and Ellie got married she would've killed the bitch so for you to show such empathy towards her made her feel somewhat guilty.

"Y/n, I'm sorry" Amelia trails off, as her eyes fixate on the fireplace in-front of her, you hold your breath, not sure if you could handle another blow to the heart right now but nod, an urge for her to keep going.

"I- I really don't even know what to say I should've stopped once Ellie told me she had a family but I was too selfish and-" the sound of the front door opening and the faint murmurs of what you assumed were the voices of Ellie, Paige and Vic catch your ear and you are left feeling like you could throw up. Amelia too, looks frightened as she shifts worriedly from her chair and looks at you in fear. The sound of their voices grow closer, and then subside as soon as they reach the living room, and are met with the unexpected guest. Ellie frantically looks from Amelia to you, as Vic and Paige stand their silently and uncomfortably. You were assuming they knew about Ellie's affair, making you heart break all the more.

"I should probably go, bye y/n" Amelia mumbles as she stands up and looks at you, you nod in acknowledgment and she walks past Ellie who is frozen in the entryway and gives her one last look before she makes her exit. You don't bother looking at your wife, the thought of even having to communicate with her makes you want to drop dead.

"Y/n what did she say?" Ellie walks towards you, kneeling in front of the couch you are sat on, she tries to touch you but you retract your hands from her arm.

"What do you think she said... huh?" You mutter as the waterworks return.

"Vic, Paige you guys should go, I'll catch you later" Ellie looks behind her as she orders her friends to leave. You scoff at the level of pathetic that she is, she could freely engage in an affair and have her friends know about it but when it came time to face confrontation they had to be gone?

"No! They can stay, they knew anyways so let them stay" Vic looks to Paige and shakes his head.

"Y/n, we'll go you guys ca-" you cut him off

"Shut the fuck up Vic, the past five months the two of you have come into my house and had the audacity to play nice when you knew she was cheating on me?"

"Y/n it's not their fault just let them go" Ellie pleads as she tries her best to get you to look at her, you refuse to comply.

"No! Its fucking disgusting, especially you Vic. I trusted you, I chose you to be my daughters God father, I fucking trusted you... and you- you knew this whole time" you were now uncontrollably sobbing, struggling to catch your breath as you pointed your finger at them. Ellie tried desperately to touch you, console you but all you would do was swat her hands and pull away.

"Vic and Paige get the fuck out, I'll talk to you later" Ellie calls over her shoulder and they quickly scramble.

"Y/n please, baby I neeed you to listen to me" Ellie begs as tears begin to fall down her face.

"You cheat on me and you're fucking crying? You betray me and you get to shed tears?" you yell, not caring if it wakes up your daughter, you were too riled up and you couldn't stop now.

"Y/n I don't... I don't know what I can do to make this better I- I tried to stop it bu-"

"But what Ellie? You're too selfish... you're too much of a self centred cunt who can't appreciate everything she has?" You stare into her tearful eyes, awaiting a response that seemed would never come.

Tell me, where did I go wrong... huh? Was I not good enough for you? Did you not feel loved by me?" The words fall out of your mouth in a sputter, as saliva bubbles from your heavy breaths. Your nose was running and the tears wouldn't stop, the lump in your throat was beginning to physically pain you.

Her silence was angering you, she just sat there, refusing to say anything, refusing to acknowledge her faults and mistakes. And to be quite honest you didn't even think an apology would fix anything, you just wanted to be left alone. You lift yourself off the sofa, removing the wedding ring that had once been a symbol of love. It was a symbol of monogamy, a symbol of togetherness and a symbol of your future, a future that was now tainted in infidelity and betrayal. You drop it on the floor in front of her and she immediately begins to panic. As you walk up the stairs, she follows you and frantically begins begging ; "I'll change", "I'll do better", "I love you", "I don't deserve you", "We'll keep going to therapy" but you tune her out, as best as you can and head for the bedroom.

Once you've made it to the bedroom, you're standing on your toes, reaching for your suitcase.

"Put the fucking suitcase down, what are you doing?" Ellie yells as she tries taking the heavy object from your hands. You try your best to pull it back but her grip is deathly tight. You resort to grabbing necessities instead. You start with your pyjamas, underwear, some work clothes and your jeans and throw them on the bed. As soon as you turn to gather your shoes, Ellie is snatching the clothes and putting them back in the closet.

"Stop fucking touching my shit, STOP!" You yell as you get all up in her face, your patience was wearing thin.

"No! You're not leaving me, please baby I promise we'll work it out" for the person who had done the cheating, she seemed to be way more emotional than you and you can't help but roll your eyes at her.

"Shut the fuck up, we're not working anything out, Ellie. Go fuck with Amelia for all I care" you angrily grab your clothing and stuff it into a duffel bag as she continues to sob. Your next action however surprises Ellie, as she watches you exit the room and make your way to Lila's. She follows you inside and her heart jumps when she sees you opening the child's dresser and pulling out items of clothing.

"What the fuck are you doing, are you trying to take my daughter away from me?" She yells, and Lila immediately begins to awaken from her sleep.

"She's my daughter, you don't even fucking care about her" you spit as you pull out rows of dresses and onesies from the closet.

"Yes the fuck I do, don't accuse me of shit like that" she booms angrily as she forcefully, pulls you away from the closet. She drags you to the outside of the room and you've finally had enough. Without much thought to it, you land a hard slap to her face. The action leaves a tingling sensation on the tips of your fingers and depths of your palm and Ellie is stood their taken aback. A red mark on the spot your palm had landed beginning to form.

"I'm leaving, and I'm taking my daughter with me, and you are not stopping us" you spit and return to the child's bedroom.

-

Ellie stays far away from you for the remainder of the afternoon and you complete the minimal packing and get Lila ready to go. You descend down the arched staircase with the toddler in your arms and a heavy duffle bag in your hands. As soon as Ellie hears you she's rushing to the staircase and your daughter finally acknowledges her presence.

"Momma!" She squeals in delight and you quickly grab your keys and unlock the front door. Ellie follows behind you and have to try your best not to scold your daughter who's hands are out trying to reach for her mother.

"Let me at-least say bye to my kid y/n" Ellie begs as you settle Lila into the booster seat and place the duffel bags on the car floor next to her. You ignore her and shut the car door, as you journey to the drivers seat.

"Will you fucking talk to me, hear me out?" She pleads for a final time and your response is to simply slam your car door shut in her face. Tears start pouring again as you drive away from your home, the place that had once been a temple of happy memories and domestic bliss, now ruined with thoughts of Ellie's infidelity.

"I want momma!" Lila whines from the backseat and you tune her out.

"Mommy I want momma!" She's whining and you feel like your head was about to burst, the headache in addition to her sulking was going to be the death of you. "We're going to see Aunt Dina, baby, don't you want to play with JJ?" You force the addition of enthusiasm into your words to sell her, but she simply frowns, only wanting her mother. You locate your phone with one hand on the wheel, planning on calling your only friend.

You didn't know what was going to happen, would it always be like this? A constant battle between Lila choosing you or Ellie. Would she pick her over you? Would you have to go to court over this? How would you explain this to everyone... Joel, Your mom, Nara? You hated her, you hated Ellie so much and you hated that she had destroyed you so easily, why did she have to cheat on you? What had you done? Where did you go wrong?

taglist;

@moonlightdivine @maybe-cece @macaroni676 @sawaagyapong @katiemars @ellieseater @dakota-dream @joliettes @hebrokeimup @bratydoll @wakasaaa @catostrophiclesbian

[nellielsss]

ƈɧąʂıŋɠąŋɠɛƖʂ.ƈơɱ ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

Summary: where lonely hearts can congregate & explore new, exciting taboos! what do you get when you pair a lonely divorcée with an equally lonely girl? find out here, at chasingangels.com! Note: I saw a janitor AI bot that was like a dating app and was inspired to write this, I also just wanted to write about the issues of finding a good match as a trans girl! y'know, since a lot of us tend to fuck w DL men 💀 reader is also kinda Gyaru-coded in terms of appearance but she's not fully immersed in Gyaru culture. Warnings: website is implied to be for chasers (men who go after trans women specifically), protected sex, rough sex, kinda angst + comfort Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x mtf!reader WC: 14.5k words... yeah I'm not proofreading this ☠️ if it has bad grammar or cringy dialogue anywhere my apologies!!! this fic took me like 5 days so I'm glad to be done w it

╰┈➤ "And... still nobody worth it," you sighed, clicking off from the website that you'd spent weeks surfing through. You put your laptop back in your Hello Kitty computer sleeve, put it in your purse, and went on your way.

The website you'd decided to put your love life line on the line for, chasingangels.com, was proving to be a hopeless endeavor. Every single day, the thought about abandoning that stupid, niche website and going back to your past days of Grindr seemed more enticing the longer you spent your time alone. The website that promised trans girls like you with a promising love life was turning out to be a gimmick, probably made to steal your data so that it could be sold to some third party buyer. It's not like it mattered to you--you didn't have nuclear codes saved on your device--but it was just so tiring.

All of it was so tiring.

All your life, you'd been quite lonely, a fact that your headstrong nature refused to admit. You grew up with everything a girl like you could've possibly hoped for: you had a loving family who accepted you for your transgender identity, plenty of friends who also accepted you, and all the money needed to buy you your expensive makeup & hormones that you'd need to become the woman you always wanted to be. Truth be told, you were quite blessed in every facet of life--you were beautiful enough before starting the hormones to pass for a cisgender woman!

But, sadly, the only facet you lacked in was love.

A curse was bestowed upon you at birth: the curse of a male body, and that same curse was the reason you never had any prospects.

The moment you told a guy about your condition, he'd run away without a second thought. Either they blocked you or did a 180 and asked you if they could play with your... male genitalia.

The few who chose to stay only ever did so by texting you after 11 PM, and the most they did was ask you for sexual favors instead. Not once did a guy hold you while wept; not once did a guy want to bring you home to mama; not once did a guy talk to you for more than a month. And what was most humiliating was you'd only ever talked to three guys--a low, single-digit number!

By the time you graduated college and entered the workforce, nothing changed, absolutely nothing. If anything, your prospects shrank, and you weren't even talking to a single guy over the phone. You were hopeless, utterly hopeless in the romantic department.

"Don't worry about it, you're too good for any man's attention!"

Said the girl with a loving boyfriend of a year.

"You already have a high paying job and a pretty face to boot, what more could you possibly want?"

Maybe the touch of a loving partner?

You were hopeless. Hopeless enough to put your trust in some shady website that one of your friends told you about, which led you to the website known as chasingangels.com. You were beginning to believe that this was all some elaborate emotional ponzi scheme, set up by people who took pleasure in breaking trans girls' hearts.

"Is it my profile?" you thought to yourself on the train. You were currently on the train to Omotesando, meeting up with said girlfriend who recommended you the site. You went under the guise of trying out a new restaurant, but in actuality you were gonna chew her out for getting your hopes up, get a beverage on the way home, and then watch some Shōjo before going to bed.

And all in a day's time... truth be told, these were what your days consisted of outside of work: drinks, meetups, and romance anime. Though most people would've looked down upon you for living such a monotonous life, you found solace in it.

There wasn't much a girl like you could do except spend her hard-earned money on snacks & clothes. Perhaps you'd get lucky and stop by a Hello Kitty store along the way? Maybe you could even adopt another cat just to be less lonely.

The loud ding! of a notification in your airpods made you jerk up in surprise, and you immediately grabbed your phone. Most apps weren't important enough to have a sound notification on, so you wondered what it could possibly be.

Wait, why were you so surprised? It was probably just an SMS message from your friend. You calmed yourself down, unlocked your phone, and swiped through your notifications until you saw it.

That godforsaken website--you made a mental note to delete it later.

👼 chasingangels.com

ミ☆ You have 1 New Message!

Tojifushiguro1: Hey there, saw your profile and thought you looked cute. Wanna get a drink & get to know each other better?

A guy who used punctuation and capitalization? He must've been old, definitely not your-

You let out an audible gasp on the train when you clicked on his profile, and you also had to turn down the brightness on your phone as well, because the profile that you just tapped on?

The profile was enough for you to make your cross your legs together.

This guy--Toji Fushiguro--was a fucking wet dream.

With shaky hands and a pounding heart, you sifted through the seven photos that he'd put up on his profile. They were all a bit shitty with bad lighting or they were taken by other people, but goddamn was that a man!

For starters, his face must've been crafted by Narcissus himself. A strong bone structure, green eyes that pierced into an onlooker's soul, and that delicious scar on his lip that only added to his appeal. He had some wrinkles underneath his eyes, no doubt indicating that he was a bit older than you.

The next photo almost made you choke on your own spit in the train. It was a full body shot of him standing up with a guy (whose face he made sure to blur out), and by god was he the definition of an adonis even with clothes on. Just by standing still w/ a straight face without doing anything extra, you could make out some broad shoulders, arms that were probably bigger than your head, traps that tapered into a thin, toned waist, and a thick, muscular chest that you just wanted to lay your head on!

When you got to the shirtless photos you had to put your phone away for a good second before looking at the rest of his profile. His body was a marble statue straight out of the Roman Empire, complete with shredded abs, intense vasculature, and everything else that a girl could want in a man's body.

You knew that where you lived, the ideal male standard was more feminine than masculine, therefore you knew that finding a man like him was like finding a tiny shard of a diamond deep inside of a coal mine. Coincidentally, he was also exactly your type, so every atom in your body screamed at you to get on it and reply!

But you were rational; you didn't think with your pussy. You looked at all the photos in detail to get a better idea of what he was like, and you also examined his bio for any red flags. So far, the only ones that stuck out to you were his single father status & the fact that he was on a dating site designed for connecting men with trans women--the name literally had the verb "chase" in it!

°•. ★ .•° Tojifushiguro1's FAQ:

Age: 35

Sexuality: straight

Marital status: divorced w/ 1 kid

Likes: UFC fights, fishing, 90s rock, a good beer

Looking for: a girl who knows how to have fun & also get serious, someone mature.

Yeah, he totally fit the image he portrayed. He might've only been 35 but he typed like a boomer with the lack of description in his bio & the message that was chalked full of grammar and proper spelling. The images he'd included in his profile were also so very different from the design and aesthetic of this website, it almost made you laugh.

This man could also be catfishing you, so you made sure to do a quick reverse search...

... and nothing. Wow, so this guy really existed, and he also really wanted you.

Wait a damn minute. He, an adonis, with probably more prospects than a computer science student's job offers, wanted you: a girl who couldn't get dick to save her life?!

What kind of an idiot were you--get on with it already!!

With shaky fingers, you opened his message and looked at it over & over again. If you didn't reply, then you'd be safe, but you'd also potentially miss out on something exciting; however, if you did reply, then the trajectory of your life could possibly change forever.

With even shakier fingers, you typed out a response to his dm:

automaticprincess7: Hi! I'm so glad you clicked on my profile out of all the others--I would love to meet up with you somewhere! Although, I gotta warn you: I don't drink much... maybe a coffee shop would be nicer?

tojifushiguro1 is typing...

Oh god, he was already typing that out?! He did send the initial message two minutes ago...

tojifushiguro1: I'll go anywhere if it means I get to see that pretty face in person ;)

Just in the second message alone, he was laying on the charm, you could see that much. He didn't seem like the type of guy to hold out on what he wanted or beat around the bush--just your type. You hated guys your age for playing games and stringing you along for no reason, so you welcomed the change of pace.

automaticprincess7: Fushiguro!! Ur already making me blush while I'm on the train... >///<

tojifushiguro1: I can't wait to make you blush even harder in person, doll. Why don't we meet up tomorrow? I ain't got work, so I'm free all day long.

Tomorrow--he wanted to meet with you tomorrow?! But... but that was so quick, you haven't had enough time to even mentally prepare yourself for this hunk of a man!! Then again, what difference does it make if all you're looking for is a guy who'll give you some attention & pipe? Still, you had to play coy--you can't be so forward just yet.

automaticprincess7: but that's so early...

tojifushiguro1: why, you got work tomorrow?

automaticprincess7: no, I'm also free; honestly, truth be told, I've never met up with anyone online like this, especially not from this website.

tojifushiguro1: really? I'd imagined a girl as gorgeous as you would've had plenty of men lining up to take her out for dinner--I was just hoping to be next in line haha.

automaticprincess7: well, not exactly...!

tojifushiguro1: so this means I'll be the one to pop your internet cherry, huh? Well then, ain't I a lucky guy?"

automaticprincess7: ewww, don't call it that!!

tojifushiguro1: I'm just messin' with ya, doll. Anyway, does tomorrow work? I'll need to find a babysitter for the kid soon, so I need a yes or no.

Right, he was a single father... still, he was just so enigmatic, so attractive, you'd be a fool to let it go to waste over him having a child.

automaticprincess7: yeah, tomorrow's fine. I guess I was just nervous ( ๑´⌓ `๑ )

tojifushiguro1: it's no biggie, cutie. Since it's your first time meeting with a stranger online, I can imagine you'd be scared. So, let's say 6? And what place works best for you? We can even grab dinner after if you're up for it.

automaticprincess7: there's this one coffee place I like in Harajuku. It's secluded enough for this kinda stuff, and it's close enough to any activities that might be fun: (insert coffee shop name).

tojifushiguro1: overpriced coffee with an angel like you? Heh, sign me up!

automaticprincess7: hey, don't insult them, they have my fav drinks!!

tojifushiguro1: messing with you over text is so fun. Anyway, 6 PM tomorrow at that place? Sounds like a plan. I can't wait to see you in person, gorgeous ;) You & I are gonna have so much fun, doll, just you wait.

automaticprincess7: see you tomorrow, Toji!! (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*)

tojifushiguro1: those lil' emojis you send are so adorable, just like the rest of ya.

You had to put your phone down because of how red your face was. If anyone saw you in this state, they'd probably think that you were deathly feverish and needed to go to the hospital, but if you spent the night with him, you probably would need to.

Your mind was reeling with everything that had just happened. The prospect of meeting a guy for the first time; the prospect of going on a date with an insanely hot guy; the prospect of going home & having sex with said insanely hot guy; and the prospect of it leading to something better. You knew your prayers of this working out would fall on deaf ears and that this guy was probably in it for just the sex, but there was this feeling, this voice in your head telling you to go for it.

Normally, you'd ignore that said voice, but maybe following that voice would bring some color back into your life.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ Enter Toji Fushiguro

╰┈➤ "Fuckin' christ is that girl adorable," Toji muttered to himself when he put his phone down. "I could just eat her for breakfast, lunch & dinner."

After hopeless hours of surfing through this website "Chasingangels.com" with all of its annoyingly bright colors and cutesy aesthetics, Toji had finally settled on a girl who he felt was worth the trouble of reaching out to. All these other profiles he'd swiped on were either not his type or were looking for a good time, not a long time, so when he finally found you, he felt like he'd just won big at the horse races he quit going to. Seriously, you were such a stroke of luck that he considered going out to gamble.

But, after his late wife had died, and after he'd made that promise to quit all his vices, he wasn't actually gonna go gamble his savings away.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand: your profile.

Even after he put his phone down to clear his mind, he reached for it & continued looking at your profile, his green eyes scrutinizing every single detail and just taking it all in. You were gorgeous, that much was true, but there was also something so yummy, so saccharinely sweet about the way you looked at the camera with your raspberry lip gloss and your big brown eyes and your long lashes and your everything that compelled him to DM you.

You... you were just a walking wet dream, you were perfect in every single way. Not only were you insanely attractive, but you also had the right criteria in your bio: your frontal lobe had developed (you were 25) & you were looking for something serious.

Bingo.

But, at the same time, Toji knew good and well that a girl like you was hard to come by, so he sent that DM without any hope of getting one in return. Surely a gorgeous gal like you had plenty of offers, right? He also knew that using a website like this was quite unsavory, even for him. This website, chasingangels.com, was supposed to be a "dating website" for transgender women, but he knew good and well that this site housed some... off individuals.

It was all in the name of the website. Chasing angels? Seriously? The developers couldn't have come up with a better website name that wasn't so fetishizing? Part of him wondered what the hell a girl like you was doing on this site--a site that was meant to give men direct access to trans women. Part of him also wondered why he, himself, was on this website to begin with. Was he seriously turning into one of them, one of those "chasers" that were known to use trans women? And would you categorize him as such?

Those little thoughts of self-doubt were quickly wiped away when you replied within two minutes of him sending that message.

Was fortune finally smiling upon him? Were the lonely nights he spent in the company of prostitutes and random flings coming to a close with you?

Were you the angel he's been chasing all this time? And did he finally catch you?

The conversation with you went smoother than expected, if he was being honest. You talked just how you looked: like an angel, with your bashful replies & those cute little emoticons that you used. He made sure to lay on the charm thick, since it was all he knew how to do when he was flirting with a girl he liked, and it paid off because now he had a date with the girl of his dreams tomorrow.

All he had to do now was find a babysitter for little 8 year old Megumi, and he'd be golden.

He promptly exited out of the website and called up his go-to babysitter, Satoru Gojo, to see if he was available for the evening & night. He swore he heard trumpets from heaven when the white-haired man said he'd be available.

He practically got on his knees and looked up at the ceiling. "Whoever you are... thank you."

Next on the agenda would be to prepare for said date tomorrow.

There was no way that this was the same man you talked to online (and no, he didn't catfish you). How could a man be so.... large?!

Flashback to a few hours ago when you were first getting ready for your little date. "I'm going on a date, on a date, on a date~! Oooh, I may be getting some dick tonight~!!" You sang to yourself as you got ready for your date. You were busy putting in your hot rollers, trying to snap them into place so that they wouldn't fall out and potentially burn you.

You didn't sleep a wink during the entire night. The images of that guy, that hunky dilf who you somehow managed to snag before anyone else did. You were honestly pretty surprised that you accomplished such a feat--any girl would be lucky to be underneath that fine specimen! Then again, maybe the people who used the website didn't like big, strong men with a face so rideable that you could probably cum 5 times just by grinding against his nose... either way, you were a lucky, lucky girl!

Once the rollers were in place, you pulled out all the stops to make sure that your makeup was in tip-top shape. A matte, blurring primer (which could be classified as industrial grade); pink cherry blossom setting powder just so that you could look extra pink and girly; a touch of eyelid glitter just to make your eyes sparkle... you even followed an elaborate tutorial on Youtube just so that you could charm him with your eyes.

Everything was coming together perfectly. There were no stray streaks of eyeliner, nor was your makeup crusty or cakey; it was simply perfect.

Taking out your hot rollers, you grabbed a hairbrush and styled it to your liking with a headband, then you spritzed on some perfume and went to pick out the perfect outfit to charm him. Clearly, he had a thing for girly girls, so a pink outfit would do just the trick. Your outfit for the date consisted of a pink puff-sleeve top along with a pleated denim mini-skirt, your signature Tiffany & Co. initial necklace, a charm bracelet, a cute little rhinestone belt and some strappy sandals to complete the look.

You took a good, long look in the mirror and smiled to yourself. It sure was a shame that you being transgender got in the way of a lot of your relationships, and the fact that this was probably just to meet up for sex... but it was still nice to get dolled up.

"What do you think, Cupcake?" you asked your fluffy black cat who had a pink collar around her neck. You scratched your little cat's chin and gave her a few butt pats before standing up again.

You made your way over to the front door of your apartment, put all your belongings in your pink Chanel, and made sure to remember your keys. "Wish me luck," you said to your cat as you left. You locked the door behind you, and set out for the nearest train station.

Which was how you ended up standing outside of the coffee shop that the two of you agreed to meet at. It was an odd time to go to a coffee shop, since most people went in the morning, but not everybody met up with strangers on the internet for sexual favors. You texted Toji that you were here and pushed open the glass doors of the shop.

"He shouldn't be too hard to miss-" you stopped dead in your tracks when you caught sight of the man. To say that he was hot was an understatement, because this man was just delectable.

Oh... my... god." He wasn't, in fact, too hard to miss, since he was A. one of the only patrons there, and B. huge. As in, he took up the entirety of his chair & had to spread his legs around the table so that he wouldn't be uncomfortable. And the best part?

He looked even better in person!!

The simple white sweater that he donned was stretched around his frame, and you could see the outline of his broad shoulders & his traps. The sleeves were rolled up around his forearms, giving you a delicious sight of his thick, veiny forearms, and his big hands that were clutching the menu like it was a little sheet of paper only made you wanna rub your thighs together. His legs were a whole other story: his muscular thighs were stretching his black pants (but not to the extent to where he looked goofy), and all you wanted to do was just sit on his lap!!

Your little rambling was interrupted when he looked up from the menu and right at you. He had a little look of shock on his face for a split second before he cracked a smile, and you felt like butter melting on a hot day from the way he looked at you.

"U-Um, hi," was the first thing you squeaked out to him. Normally, you were a confident girl; but right now, you were reduced to mere prey under the gaze of this man.

"Hey, sweetheart. Please, have a seat." He made the effort to get up and pull your seat out for you, and you offered him a bashful smile.

"Thank you," you all but whispered, letting him push you in. He then took his seat from across the table, and the two of you sat in silence for a few seconds. You could hear the intense, almost unbearable beat of your heart pounding in your ears, and you looked down at the table out of nervousness. Every time you looked up at Toji, your eyes immediately darted back to their original position, and your cheeks got even redder.

"My god, are you pretty," his deliciously raspy voice remarked when he decided to break the silence. "I mean, I bet you get that a lot, but... damn."

You squeaked in response and retreated into yourself further. "I don't get that a lot, but... T-Thank you, F-Fushiguro," you stammered. You were fumbling this date by the second, but it was practically impossible to even talk to this Adonis that was right in front of you.

A few more moments of silence until he decided to speak up again. "Doll, I gotta ask you something: am I really that scary?"

The question made you look at him out of confusion rather than fluster. "Huh? Um... no? Why do you ask?"

He relaxed a little further into his seat and folded his arms over his chest. "Because the entire time we've been on this little date, you've been starin' at the damn table. C'mon, you've gotta give me somethin' to work with here. I wanna get to know you a little bit, pretty!" He said.

You almost felt bad for the guy right about now. Here he was, going on this date that he went out of his way to ask you out on, and you were staring at the table like an idiot.

"I'm sorry," you laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck, "I'm not really experienced at going on dates... this is the first one I've been on in a while." For whatever reason, this guy made you feel more & more comfortable the longer you were around him.

"Well that makes two of us," he chortled. "I haven't been on one in months, myself. That little website was probably my last resort. If I gave up on it, I would've given up on going on dates altogether."

"Oh, right, you're divorced..." you trailed off, feeling bad for the guy.

He shrugged. "'s nothin'. Haven't seen my ex-wife in ages, anyway; my son and I get along just fine."

"Well, that's good to hear," you smiled at him. "Yeah, I see a lot of single fathers and divorcées passing through that site. Most of them are just ex-pats."

"Really, now?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow. "I would've thought that being a single father makes me more unappealing."

You shrugged. "It doesn't make a difference to me, or the rest of the girls on that site at that. Most people just use that website for hookups, anyway."

His other eyebrow raised, and he looked at you with more curiosity. "Really, now? Huh... I never would've guessed. This whole time, I thought that everyone on there was just an asshole; I didn't think that the site was made for hookups."

"It's not advertised for hookups, but people treat it as such. Most dating sites like that just end up getting used for hookups."

"Hm," he said, looking off to the side. "So what the hell were you doing on that site to begin with?"

This made you look at him with more confusion. "Huh?"

He leaned forward, now putting his forearms on the table. "I mean: what the hell was a pretty girl like you doing on a hookup website?"

"I-I don't use it for hookups!" you said defensively, putting your hands up. "I just... look, it was the only available site for women like me, and I was sick of people on regular dating apps blocking me after I told them that I was trans. I sure as shit didn't wanna use Grindr, so that website was also my last resort. Speaking of, what were you doing on that website if you were looking for more than just hookups?"

Toji shrugged again. "I dunno, honestly. I just went on it without a second thought. I tried other websites out, but none of 'em gave me any results."

You furrowed your brow in confusion. "So you went on a website that was specifically for men who liked trans women...?"

He was a bit caught off guard by your observation, and he rubbed the back of his neck. "The way you're saying it makes me sound like some sorta creep... But, you're not entirely wrong. When I first saw an advertisement for that website, I was intrigued, to say the least. I thought that, since I had so much bad luck on the normal sites, why not try somethin' different? I've always been kinda curious about trans women, too. Part of me wondered what it'd be like to date one, and so I was led to that website."

Your expression slightly fell, and you realized what this guy's deal was. "Oh, so you're... you're one of those guys," you said quite bitterly.

Toji picked up on this and freaked out a little bit. "N-No, I'm not like that! I'm not some fetishizing prick who wants a hookup; I'm just a lonely guy who's looking for something, alright? I've been lonely for so long that I'm willing to try anything with any type of girl. It doesn't matter if she's cis or trans; I just want something--anything, any kind of connection." He took a deep breath, feeling like he was digging himself into a hole the more he spoke. "Fuck... I'm making this worse for myself, aren't I?"

You were now feeling sorry for the guy for a whole different reason. "No, Fushiguro, I get it... dating as a single father must be tough for you. And, I can see the appeal of trying out dating with a different type of woman, expanding your horizons. Even though you might be using a site that hosts a lot of creeps, you're using it with good intentions." Your frown relaxed into a smile, and he felt his heart skip a beat when you smiled at him. "So I guess I won't be getting my hopes down."

Toji gave you another look of shock, and he felt his cheeks heat up just a little--that smile of yours was just so beautiful. His look of shock changed into a smile, and he intertwined one of his fingers with yours. "Well, ain't I a lucky bastard," he chuckled, already easing back into the date. "So, gorgeous, why don't we start over?"

You nodded and smiled brighter at him. "I think we should."

"Good," he hummed, reaching out to shake your hand. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Toji Fushiguro. Mind telling me about yourself, beautiful?"

You giggled at all the pet names and the compliments he was throwing your way. "My name's (Y/N), (L/N), and I don't mind at all."

Maybe... maybe this wouldn't just be a sex thing.

"I've gotta say, doll: meeting up with you has got to be one of the best decisions I've ever made," Toji said as the two of you walked out of the coffee shop together. Naturally, a guy as big as him dwarfed you, and so he had to crane his head just a lil' to look down at you. It's not like you were one of those "I'm so small and fragile!" girls--but next to him, you might as well have been.

'He's so handsome... I'm surprised I could even have a full on conversation with him. Props to myself for not screwing it up!'

He reached out to sling his big arm around your shoulders, and he pulled you into his embrace slightly. "You don't mind if I do this, right?" he purred suavely into your ear. "Sorry if I'm being a lil' too touchy, doll--I'm just not sure what girls like you are into. A lot of people don't like to be touched by people they don't know all that well."

If you were being honest, you were probably one of those people who didn't like physical contact; but with him, you were too into it to say no. "Well, I don't usually touch people like this, but I feel comfortable around you, so do as you please."

"Do as I please?" he repeated, leaning down to tickle your ear with his breath. "I'll make sure to keep that in mind for later."

Your first instinct was to worm your way out of his grasp and away from his seductive tongue, but his grip was so strong that you couldn't even budge. "T-Toji..." this was the first time you used his given name.

He felt his heart skip a beat when you used his name, but he masked it well. "What, doll? Ah, you're so cute when you're nervous... You can't exactly blame a guy for trying, right?" He let his grip loosen just a tad in case you were uncomfortable. "Anyway, where do you think we should head off to next?"

"Hm?" you asked, looking up at him. "You wanna go somewhere now? I thought that we were just going for coffee?"

"You've gotta be kiddin' me, doll... what, you thought that it was just a coffee thing? I ain't letting go of you that quickly," he snorted. "Besides, I've got someone watchin' over my kid for the rest of today & tonight, so my schedule's completely free."

"O-Oh, well I guess that's nice to hear!" you replied, trying to muster up the most confident smile you could. "Well, we are in Harajuku, so there's plenty to do around here."

Toji thought about it for a second. "Hm... to be honest, I'm thinking that we should just head back to my place--if you're up for it, at least. We could also head back to yours, or go to a love hotel. Preferably one that isn't shitty or full of diseases."

You immediately tensed up again when he brought up the idea of taking your date to somewhere more intimate or private. "Y-You don't wanna, like, go to the park or anything?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I don't; too many little shits and dogs running around to stay focused on my pretty date."

And there it was: that skip of the heartbeat when he buttered you up with his nicknames.

"We could also pick up some food on the way there. Y'know, make it more romantic? A full-on date, full of snacks and drinks before we get to the good part?"

You mulled over the different ideas that he proposed. You might've been completely into the guy; however, you weren't stupid. If you went back to his place, then you could be kidnapped or killed. There was also the possibility of his apartment being shitty (you've had your fair share of guys with garbage lining their rooms & mattresses on the floor). If you went back to your place, then there was also the possibility of him being a creep, and if he were a creep, then you wouldn't want him to know where you lived. A love hotel was probably the safest bet for a hookup, but there was also the possibility of the love hotel being shitty.

Did you even want to hookup with the guy? Well, he was very hot, and the chemistry between the two of you was off the charts, but this was a guy who wanted to get to know you better, and that rarely happened! Most guys were only ever into hookups, and hookup culture was draining. On one hand, you were a hopeless romantic; on the other hand, you were horny and in desperate need of some good pipe. What to do, what to do...

"What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours?" Toji asked you, breaking you out of the prison that was your thoughts. "It's all up to you, doll. I mean, it's not like we're never gonna see each other again, right?"

"I guess you have a point," you remarked with a bashful smile.

"But why not have a little bit of fun while we're at it?" For whatever reason, his lips were right up against your ear again.

"Gah!" you yelped. He couldn't help but chuckle in response.

"C'mon, baby, don't you wanna have some fun tonight? I'm told I'm very good in bed--I know plenty of tricks that'll make your head spin. But what we do tonight is all up to you," he reminded you, letting go of you for a sec. "If you're not comfortable with it, then I'm not gonna force you. I ain't that type of guy."

His reassurance that it was all up to you was enough to make you make up your mind. It didn't seem like his words were laced with malice or manipulation; you genuinely felt like he was telling you the truth. He was an older guy, yes, and older guys could be creepy...

... but he wasn't that type of older guy. He wasn't one to play games or sleep around, nor was he the type to coerce naive young girls into his bed. If he did, he wouldn't have gone after someone whose frontal lobe was fully developed. He liked his girls girly, yes, but he also liked them with a brain and common sense.

And so, with a determined smile, you said: "No, Toji, I want to... I wanna spend the night with you. Preferably in a love hotel."

His face turned in your direction, and the smirk on his face turned into a toothy grin... which was more creepy than handsome, if you were being honest.

"That's more like it, sweetheart," he said, pulling you into the crook of his arm. "I'll make it 100% worth your while, don't even worry about it. Just leave it to Toji."

Was this a mistake? Or was this a good idea? Only time could tell. The sound of your pink Chanel heels clicking on the pavement & each step the two of you took towards the love hotel he already had picked out was a sign of what was to come.

"Thank you very much, sir! Please enjoy your stay. Don't hesitate to let us know if you need anything!" the welcoming receptionist of the love hotel said while handing Toji the keycard.

"Will do," Toji nodded, taking the card happily. He may not have been showing it, but he was more than eager to get on with this night. His fingers were fidgeting slightly, and the only thing that could quell his nerves would be a taste of you. He couldn't resist the urge to throw his arm around your waist and pull you in. 'She's so soft and squishy, I can't help but wonder how she'll feel underneath me. But, why's she so nervous? Aren't I a charming fellow?' Toji thought as he led the two of you to the elevator. "What's got you so nervous, sweetheart? I can feel all that tension that's built up inside of ya." You squeaked a little when he tightened his arm around your waist. "God, you're adorable... you're like a little marshmallow I can't wait to sink my teeth into."

"W-Well it's kinda hard to be calm when you're saying all that stuff," you said, the nervousness in your voice evident.

He listened to what you were saying and let out a sigh. "I get it, I get it. I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous, too. Well, more antsy than anything. You're just so fuckin' pretty that I just can't sit still! God, could this elevator be any slower?" he asked, tapping his foot on the linoleum floor.

"Just hold your horses, T-Toji," you said, trying to quell the nerves of the guy you were about to have sex with. "I wanna psyche myself up, okay?"

He offered you a remorseful smile and loosened his grip on your waist. "Alright, alright, I'll cool it down just for your sake, pretty. We've got all night long, anyway."

The rest of the elevator ride was quite silent with the ding of the elevator being the only sound made. Once you made it onto your guys' floor, the other sounds filling up the hallway were the sounds of couples having sex. Though you were no stranger to sex, you still had some sense of decency, so the sounds being made were quite embarrassing to listen to.

Toji took note of your discomfort, and he couldn't resist the urge to tease you just a little bit. "Soon, we'll be joining them with our own sounds," he croaked into your ear, making you jolt.

"D-Don't tease me like that! At least not until we're in the room itself..."

"It's just a little bit of teasing, doll--y'know I don't mean it like that."

Once you made it in front of your door, Toji grabbed the keycard and slid it into the lock, then promptly opened the door. "After you, m'lady," Toji said courteously.

"Thank you," you hummed with Toji following after you. The love hotel was Parisian-themed, and it was evident from the Eiffel tower decoration behind the bed as well as the faux-balcony that led to the outside. The bathroom had a large jacuzzi with gilded faucets, and if this wasn't a love hotel then you would've thought that you were in Versailles. "Well, this is something," you remarked as you set your bag down.

"Only the best for my gorgeous girl," Toji hummed, walking towards you. His first instinct was to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you in for a kiss, but you put your hands and stopped him. "What's wrong? Did I do somethin' wrong?"

He truly was a gentleman.

"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong, Toji," you reassured him. "Remember when I said I was nervous?"

He sighed, letting his hands fall to his side. "Doll, c'mon--you've gotta give me space to work with. How am I supposed to make you feel good if you don't let me?"

You tried to calm yourself down, but it didn't do anything. "'m sorry, Toji... I'm the worst possible girl to take out."

"You're not the 'worst possible'; you're just a little nervous, and that's understandable. But the way you keep refusing my advances and offers to help you calm down is starting to get on my nerves a little." He thought about what he could do to help you unwind, and he finally came up with an idea. "I know: why don't we start off with a little bit of foreplay? Y'know, some making out followed by taking these pesky clothes off? I really, really wanna make this work between us, baby... but you've gotta trust me. It won't feel good if there's no mutual trust."

You thought over everything you said, and it all sounded good--quite appealing, at that. While you were nervous of getting down to it, you still wanted it. You wanted Toji to make you feel good because you trusted & were attracted to him.

"Yeah, that sounds good," you finally said at last. Toji released the breath he was holding and smiled at you.

"Thank you... thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," he murmured into your ear. He pulled you close and gave you a light kiss on the cheek, putting his hands on your waist to steady you. "I'm gonna make you feel so good, baby, you're not even gonna remember why you were nervous to begin with."

"I trust you-" he cut you off by moving his lips to yours, and he captured them in a featherlight kiss. "Toji..." you whispered into the kiss.

"Yeah, that's it--say my name," he murmured, pressing an even deeper kiss to your lips. "God, you taste so fuckin' sweet, baby," he whispered, "lemme kiss you some more, 'kay?"

He sat down on the bed and pulled you in by the waist, his big hands keeping a firm grip on your body so that you wouldn't go anywhere. Even his hands dwarfed your body, that was how big he was!

The more he kissed you, the more you relaxed and let him do what he thought felt right. Before you knew it, the two of you were engaged in a heated make-out session, the sounds of your sighs & lips smacking providing a soundtrack to the night. While it may have just been foreplay, you were already melting into it. "More... I want more, Toji~" you whined into his mouth.

"You want more already, pretty thing?" he rasped, his hands exploring your body like an untouched treasure, "use your words, baby. Tell Toji what you want--clearly."

"I want you... to keep kissin' me... touch me some more..." you grabbed his hand and guided it up your shirt, and you squeezed your breast with his hand. "I want you to touch me right there- oh~!"

He didn't need any direction, already squeezing your tit through your bra. "You like it when I squeeze your tits, baby? How about I squeeze this other one, hm? Wouldn't want it to get lonely, now, would you?" His little questions, sweet-talking and his big hands were turning your knees into wobbly jelly.

"Yeah~ yeah~ gimme more, Toji, fuck--I want all of that!" you exclaimed into his lips.

"Just as I thought: underneath that nervous little exterior of 'yers, you're a little slut, ain't ya?" he gave you a smirk and bit down on your bottom lip, making you yelp into the kiss. "Fuck, just listen to all of those sweet noises, baby--my dick's so fuckin' hard for ya. Can't you feel it, baby?" he even grabbed your hand and made you palm his erection, and he let out a deep sigh once you did so. "Those little hands of yours... fuck, I can't wait to feel 'em wrapped around my cock."

Your hands used to be a source of discontent for you, given how... manly they looked, but compared to Toji's hands? Well, they were dwarfed entirely.

"J-Just how big are you?" you asked out of nervousness once you felt the full weight and size of his erection.

"Wait and see, baby girl," he purred, offering you a cocky smirk. He knew he was well-endowed, and he knew that he was good at using those inches. "Or would you rather skip all the foreplay and get to the good stuff?"

You shook your head, still palming his erection. "No, I still wanna ease into it," you said.

"Have it your way, then. This night's all about you, sweet stuff." He resumed his kissing, this time latching his lips onto your jawline & trailing his lips down to your chest. You had an affinity for low-cut tops, so it gave him the perfect amount of space to pepper kisses on. "Mmmm... yeah, you are definitely some sweet stuff," he murmured, pressing kisses to your chest.

"Mn~" you moaned softly, biting your lips as if you were embarrassed of the way this man made you feel.

"Oh? You like it when I kiss you there?" he asked, peppering more kisses to your cleavage.

"Yeah, I do, Toji~" you murmured, letting out a bigger moan.

"What about... here?" he pressed one right in between the valley of your tits, and it was enough to elicit a nice, loud moan. "Fuck... you're really enjoying this, huh," he drawled in between chest kisses.

"I am, Toji, I am," you managed to breathe out. The more you moaned, the tighter his grip became on your waist.

"Yeah, you really are, princess. But, isn't that what we came here to do?" You nodded, and he chuckled. "Fuck, yeah, it is. Gonna make you feel so good... you're gonna forget 'yer own name."

Chest kisses weren't enough for the guy; he wanted--needed more of you. He needed to see you in the heat of the moment, to see how you reacted to getting the wind taken from your lungs, to see the way your ass would bounce against his powerful pelvis.

"Why don't we take this thing off, hm?" he was already in the middle of sliding your top off when he asked you that, so all you could do was let him. Once he did, his eyes lit up at the sight of your chest in that pretty pink bra. "Such pretty tits, held up by this pretty bra of yours," he rasped, hooking his finger underneath the pink fabric. "You wore this nice of lingerie just for me? Just for ol' Toji?"

You nodded vigorously, no longer shy or bashful. "Yeah, I wore it for you, Toji," you affirmed. "Wore it so you could tear it off of me."

His eyebrows shot up when you started voicing your fantasies, and he shook his head. "Yeah, you really are turning into a big ol' slut. None of that cute, shy shit anymore, huh?"

"I can't help it; your fingers just make me feel too good!"

"Oh, my fingers are making you feel good?" he repeated, a hint of mocking in his voice. "Well, in that case..." his big hands yanked the shorts underneath your mini skirt and his two fingers started caressing your hole. "Does that feel good, doll?"

You gasped and arched into his body, your perfect tits pressed against his clothed chest. "Fuck... feels so good~!"

"Oh, really? But I ain't even stick anything into ya? Are you really that touch-starved?" he asked mockingly, his green eyes leering at your blushing, moaning expression. One of his hands spanked your plump cheek, making you yelp. "Answer the question, doll."

"Y-Yes, fuck--I'm so fucking touch starved," you said through a moan, yelping when he spanked you again.

"Damn right, you are. Can't wait to see how tight you are--I can already imagine the way you're gonna suffocate my cock." The hand that was caressing your hole pushed past your panties and he stuck those two fingers into your hole, fingering you through your panties.

These ministrations of his fingers were making you lose your mind, and you let out the loudest moan yet. "F-Fuck! Oh, fuck- fuck, such thick fingers!!" You gasped, your voice reaching a new pitch you didn't think was possible.

"Yeah? You like my thick fingers inside o' that hole of 'yers? If I didn't know any better, I woulda assumed that you were a virgin, but how could I when you're such. A. Fucking. Slut?" he punctuated his question with spanks, his two fingers still fingering you. "C'mon, doll, lemme hear s'more of those moans. You know you wanna moan for Toji," he coaxed you, now stretching your cheek open with the hand that was spanking you.

And so, you moaned. You moaned as loud as you wanted to & possibly could, no longer worrying about how embarrassingly loud they'd be. Toji wasn't judging your moans; he savored them, worshiped them like they were holy scripture. "Fuck~! Fuck~! Oh, fuck, T-Toji--your fingers, they're so fucking good, keep curling them, please!! I'm gonna c-cum on your fingers if you k-k-keep this up!!" You were a babbling, incoherent mess while he worked his fingers into your tight hole. He pushed another finger in, essentially slutting you out on his hand alone. He licked his fingers again and started pumping them in & out harder, the feral grin on his face widening in size.

"Yeah, yeaah, that's what I'm fuckin' talking about, baby!" He exclaimed, fucking you vigorously on his fingers. "You're gonna cum, aren't ya? You're gonna cum from my fingers alone? You little whore, I can't wait to turn your brain to mush with my cock, just you wait!" If you weren't such a touch-starved whore for this man, the look in his eyes would've sent you running...

.... but you were a touch-starved whore. You were sucking his fingers in like you needed them to survive, like you'd die if you didn't get fingered by the older man. When his fingers hit that spongy spot inside of your tender hole, your eyes shot open and you felt an ache building up in your tummy. "Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck~!!" you squealed, "Fuck, Toji, k-keep fingerin' me right there, you're touching all of my sweet spots!!" You were no better or quieter than any of those other people in the next door rooms.

He realized that he'd hit your soft spot, and the grin on his face only intensified. "Oh, you want it there?" he dug his fingers in as deep as he possibly could, hitting your prostate yet again.

"Yes, fuck yes, Toji!!" You screamed at the top of your lungs.

"Oh, you little fucking slut, you're getting your brains fucked out just by my fingers, eh? I don't even need a cock to make you lose your mind, because you've already lost it!!" He continued savagely finger-fucking you, pushing you that much closer to the edge.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" you babbled, your eyes half-lidded as he jackhammered his hand into your hole, "I'm gonna- I'm gonna c-cum- haven't came in so-"

Just like that, you felt the cord snap in your belly, and you let the dam break. You didn't know what you said to him, only that you felt a gush of cum go through your penis & stain your panties. Your milky fluid soaked your panties entirely, some of it even landing on his pants and staining the black fabric. You let out a "Tojiii~!!" when you came, and you slumped over into the crook of his neck. He caught you before you could fall, and he couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips.

"Now, that's what I'm fucking talking about, doll," he said into your ear, patting your back and planting a kiss on your neck. Once you sat up and looked at him again, he captured your plump lips into a soft yet firm kiss, craning your head just right so he could kiss you perfectly.

"Toji... fuck, I didn't think I could cum that hard on a couple of fingers alone," you giggled, your mind still reeling from the intense pleasure.

"That's because you've been messing around with little boys who don't know what they're doing, doll. Can't even please a woman regardless if they've got a pussy or a dick," he chuckled, letting you catch your breath. "But I hope you know that that was just the appetizer, baby; there's plenty more where that came from."

"W-What?" before you knew it, you'd been flipped onto your back with Toji hovering over you.

"Hey there, pretty," he hummed, giving you a smile.

"Hey, Toji," you replied, the intensity of his gaze making you blush again.

"Blushin' already?" he moved one of his hands to your cheek and rubbed it as if you were a kitten. "Sweet girl," he cooed. Once he was done rubbing your cheek, he reached around your back and unclasped your bra. "Don't mind if I do," he gruffed, taking your bra off and letting the treasures that were your tits free. When the bra wasn't holding them up anymore, he could finally appreciate and marvel at them. "Fuck, doll... those are some sweet tits you've got there," he said, licking his lips and practically salivating at the sight. "May I?"

"May you what?" you asked, already embarrassed at how he was ogling you.

"May I suck your breasts, baby? They're such works of art that I wanna make sure I'm not tainting 'em," he murmured, already drooling over them.

"Toji, they're just my breasts," you giggled. "Nothing to be proud of..."

"Nothing to be proud of?! Baby, you've got the most amazing tits I've ever seen--and I've seen plenty. They're so perfectly round, so perky, 'n those nipples are just the perfect size to suck on."

You couldn't help but blush and giggle as he went on & on about your chest and how much he loved it. "If it gets you to stop... gushing about them, then you can suck-"

You didn't have to tell the man twice. He already had one of your nipples in his mouth and was holding the other in his hand, and you couldn't stop the beautiful moan that left your raspberry lips. "Fuck, Toji, you really know how to make a girl f-feel good," you whimpered, the intensity of his tit-sucking making your nipples extra sensitive.

"It's in my DNA," he said against your nipple. "I'm good at making pretty girls feel good." He shot you a cocky smirk before sucking on the other, practically losing his mind at the taste. If your nipples tasted this good, he wondered what it'd be like to eat your ass, maybe even suck your cock... if you let him, of course.

Once he'd had enough of your tits in his mouth, he retracted his lips & kissed yours. "Now those are some sweet tits," he chuckled, finally giving you some room to breathe.

"Toji... now they're all puffy and swollen," you pouted at the extra-sensitivity that came as a result of his voracious tit worship.

He shrugged at your little gripe. "Can you blame a guy?" he even flicked your nipple and watched you squirm in discomfort, shooting you a shit-eating grin. "Making you lose your mind's part of the deal, doll, and I can't do that if you're not a moaning mess. Now, spread those legs for me, baby girl, because I'm gonna show you how it feels to get devoured by a guy who knows what he's doin'."

"What are you..." you trailed off when he pulled your skirt down entirely and exposed your drenched panties. He could make out the outline of your soft penis, and he hooked his fingers under the fabric of your panties & slid them down your smooth thighs. Once he was finally able to see all of you, the little smile that was on his face grew into a wide grin.

"Fuck, doll... you're just..." he sat up to get a good look at your naked form, and you shyly covered your crotch in embarrassment. "Nah, don't hide this gorgeous sight from me, doll, lemme see you." He pried your hands off with one of his and once he was able to see you fully, he took in your naked form with his eyes. "You're a work of fucking art, baby."

"You're just sayin' shit, Toji," you mumbled, a little embarrassed by his praising.

"I'm saying shit from the heart, doll," he corrected you, making you crack a little smile. "I just... wow, you're just amazing." He shook his head in disbelief at how such a perfect specimen could be wandering earth without his knowledge. "I definitely found an angel," he jested, making you crack another smile.

"Can you just get on with what you're doing?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Slowly but surely, he planted kisses on your belly & made his way down to where the goodies were. "Spread those legs f'me, doll. I need to see every inch of you."

You parted your legs gingerly, letting him see what he wanted to see. He lowered his head to where your hole was & grabbed your legs, spreading them further for his liking. He then pushed them back up gently, giving him a full view of your puckered anus. "Look at that shit... so delicious, so perfect, so sweet-lookin'," he muttered, pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh. "You're just perfect in every single way... fucking fuck," he chuckled, shaking his head once again.

You stayed silent, far too vulnerable or nervous to give him one of your usually sassy quips. "Cat got 'yer tongue, doll?"

"You've got my tongue," you muttered, making him chuckle again.

"I'm gonna feast on this perfect hole of 'yers, baby, and then I'm gonna impale you on this dick & make you see stars," he promised, sitting up again. "Lemme just... take this damn sweater off," he grumbled, sliding the white cotton over his head.

It was your turn to marvel at him now. You knew that he was a big guy with some big muscles, but now that you were seeing the real deal for yourself, you couldn't help the squeak of nervousness that left your lips. He truly was an adonis in every sense of the word: his meaty pecs that were thicker than some peoples' boobs, a shredded 8-pack that could quite literally grind cheese on it, that thin, tapered waist that expanded to a set of broad shoulders, not to mention the biceps that could crush your head. "Oh, wow," you said involuntarily, the intrusive thoughts escaping your mind.

"Like what you see, doll?" he asked cockily, flexing one of his huge biceps for you.

"Yeah... I do like, me likey," you said, still entranced by his frame.

"I told you I wasn't one of those little boys you've been hanging around, doll--I know what I'm doin'." He put his bicep down and then dipped his head back to your puckered hole, and you couldn't help but tense up a little. You tried to close your thighs out of embarrassment, but he easily pried them open with his two big hands. "Enough hidin' baby, enough of that coy shit. I already made you cum on my fingers, right? Now, I'm gonna make you cum on my tongue."

Before you could say anything, he latched his mouth to your hole, the sensation immediately making you squeak. "Fuck~!" You gasped, the wet muscle licking a stripe up your anus.

"It's time to enjoy my meal," he gruffed before diving in fully, his face disappearing into your anal cavity.

Toji wasn't lying--he really wasn't, because when he said he'd make you lose your mind, you were doing just that. "Fuck... oh, fuck, T-Toji~" you sighed, relaxing into his ministrations. You've had your ass eaten before, but the skill and tenacity with which he ate you out was 10 times more pleasurable than those other times.

The more he licked and flicked, the more moans you moaned. You were writhing about, your hands gripping both the sheets and his hair in delicious agony. It was like you were a virgin, touched for the very first time by this experienced, older man. "Fuck~!" You squealed, not knowing what else to do but enjoy it. Every time your gaze would wander back to Toji, the sight of his biceps curled and his broad shoulders supporting your legs made your stomach flutter. He was just so incredibly attractive in every way, and his oral skills were just that: incredibly attractive.

"I'm gonna- I'm gonna c-cum soon, fuck--I've never been pushed to the edge so quickly!" You admitted between breathy moans, still grinding your ass against his face.

"Yeah? You're gonna cum already?" he asked in between licks and slurps, "hah, you're already such a whore for ol' Toji, and he hasn't even fucked you with his cock." He gave your thigh a firm slap before diving back in again. You could see the enjoyment in his verdant eyes, and it only made you lose your mind that much quicker.

Soon enough, the words and quips escaping your mouth lessened in favor of the moans & whimpers that took their rightful places. He was loving every second of this--both your heavenly moans and taste on his tongue were just perfect. He could feel himself losing it, his tongue devouring you like a feral animal that needed taming.

"Fuck... so fucking delicious, baby... you've been keeping this taste from me for how long?" he asked in between sucks. "I'm never lettin' go of ya now, not when you taste so perfect."

You were mindlessly moaning and nodding your head to everything he said, no longer able to resist the sweet temptation of losing yourself in his mouth. "Yeah~ yeah, Toji, f-fuck yeah~!" the man could've asked to marry you right then and there and you wouldn't have registered it, that was how insane he drove you.

If he could use his tongue on you so expertly, how would you fare taking his cock?

He chuckled into your sweet, plush ass, now stroking your cock gently. "Jus' keep those pretty moans comin', baby, and I'll give you everything you want."

By then, you didn't know how long it had been since he'd started eating your ass. It could've been 10 minutes, an hour or ten hours--numbers were no longer a thing in your mind. You knew he had an experience with pleasuring women, but you didn't know he'd be such an eater! It was like the more he ate, the more he craved. His appetite simply couldn't be quenched. Toji, himself, also took note of how he was losing himself in you, but he just couldn't stop. You were too sweet for your own good, and someone would have to enjoy it. He noticed how your thighs were trembling like an earthquake from the intensity of it all, and he gave you an apologetic stare & retracted his lips temporarily (still fingering you).

"'m sorry, doll, but you're just too sweet... I've gotta have more of this," he panted before diving in again.

All you could give in response was a pathetic whine and a moan.

"Losin' your mind so quickly?" he jested in between swipes of your hole. "Like a cute lil' virgin," he hummed before diving in again, burying his face in your engorged hole. "Fuck.. need more... gotta have some more of you... you don't mind, do you?" Before you could even make a sound, he grabbed your hips and held them up with his strong hands, dipping his tongue even deeper if that was even humanly possible.

You let out a loud, high-pitched moan when he did this. How could it be that his tongue was already reaching your sweet spot?! "F-F-Fuck, Toji, please!!" You gasped, writhing about when he mounted your hips in the air.

"Please what, doll?" he taunted you in between sucks.

"P-Please, just make me cum already--I c-can't take this pleasure anymore!!"

"The little princess wants to cum, eh?" he chuckled lowly, making your cheeks heat up out of embarrassment. "Alright, alright... I guess I'll stop torturin' ya." He shifted the weight of your body to one of his hands & his strong arm, and he moved the other hand to start stroking your cock.

When his hand made contact around your cock, that was when all hell broke loose inside of your body. "Tojiii~!!" You squealed, bucking your hips while being held in mid-air, "Toji, Toji, Toji, T-Toji- I can't- I'm fucking c-cum-"

It was laughably cute how you desperately, needly jerked your hips into his hand, practically doing all the work for him. Your cum shot out in spurts, the milky-white substance landing on your tits, the perfect decoration for a pretty girl like you.

"That's it, there you go--thereee you go, pretty," he encouraged you, removing his mouth from your abused anus. "Cumming so much for me... fuck, you're just precious, baby. So fuckin' precious." He cooed and coaxed you with his words, guiding you through your second orgasm & its aftershocks.

When you finally came to and opened your eyes to look at him, his face was a few inches from yours, and he was carefully watching your reactions. "There you are, doll," he crooned, cupping your cheek gently. "Now, how was that for being eaten?" he asked with a cocky chuckle. One of his hands moved closer to your lips, and he stuck his thumb inside just to see what would happen. "Look at you," he rasped. "Even when you're reelin' from an orgasm, you're still so eager to please." He stuck his thumb further into your mouth just for the fun of it before retracting.

"Never been eaten like that before," you admitted with flushed cheeks.

"That's because you've never been with a real man before," he chuckled, patting your cheek before sitting up again. "Speaking of real men, I believe you've got a little present waitin' for ya." His hands moved to the hem of his pants, and he undid the buckle of his belt. "You're in for a real doozy if you came that hard on my fingers," he warned you, watching as your brows furrowed in confusion and fear.

"What're you..." you quickly realized just what he meant when he unbuckled his pants and shimmied out of them. The tent in his boxers was...

Massive.

You wondered what kind of monster he was hiding in there. Sure, you weren't a virgin--but you might as well have been one to Toji. He grabbed the waistband of his boxers and looked at you intently, watching your every reaction: "you ready, doll?"

Before you could answer that, he pulled his boxers down and let the Goliath of his cock spring free. And what you saw only confirmed your suspicions.

"Oh my god," was all you said.

His cock was massive, just like the rest of him. It was a good 9-inches, girthy, and was leaking precum like crazy onto the sheets. "Sorry 'bout that," he said in mock apology when his precum made a mess on the sheets. His cock had an angry red tip and one big vein up the side, and the sheer thickness of it was a doozy.

"How the fuck is that supposed to fit inside of me?" you asked out of panic. You were eager to have sex with the man, sure, but you weren't eager to be sent to the hospital.

"With plenty of lube and preparation, of course." He reached over to the nightstand and saw what kind of stuff they had in there. Luckily for your poor little hole, they had different bottles of lubricant as well as condoms for all shapes & sizes (including Magnum XXL). He took out the biggest size option and ripped open the plastic. He rolled it onto his cock before looking at you, and the fear in your eyes made him soften up for a moment. "What's the matter, doll? Are you scared of me or somethin'?"

"I'm not scared of you; I'm scared of your cock," you clarified, still eyeing the huge meat that he was packing.

He let out a chuckle before slicking some lube onto his cock. "Doll, don't worry; I've done this plenty of times before. My ex-wife was actually a virgin when we first got together, and we had a son together."

"I guess you're right..."

He set the jokes aside and cupped your chin again. "What I'm saying is that you don't gotta worry about anything, doll. I'm good at making women feel good, and that includes women like you. We'll ease into it as slowly as you want and you can take as much time as you need. All I want is for the two of us to enjoy ourselves." He leaned in to press a kiss to your lips, quelling any further worries. "I really, really like you, (Y/N). I'd never do anything to hurt you. You trust me, right?"

You nodded shakily once you parted lips.

"Good, because that's all I want," he added with a comforting smile. "I want this to lead somewhere, y'know? And what good would it do me to hurt you?" He trailed kisses down your neck and gave your breast a reaffirming squeeze. "Just you wait, baby. Once the initial stretch is out of the way, you're gonna feel so fuckin' amazing."

You smiled softly at Toji, still nervous but confident that you were gonna have a great time with him. "I trust you, Toji. I trust your abilities."

"That's a good girl," he rumbled in response. He coated his fingers in lubricant and stuck them inside of you, the cold feeling making you yelp and squirm. "Sorry 'bout that, doll, I just wanted to make sure you were all slippery and ready f'me." After wiping the excess on his thigh, he grabbed ahold of his lubed up cock & started moving it towards your entrance. "Spread those legs, baby... yeah, that's it. You follow orders so well," he praised, grabbing your thigh and pinning it back with his hand. "Okay, here it goes... just hold onto me, pretty girl, hold onto my back."

You were nervous, oh-so nervous about what was to come. You knew it was gonna hurt, you knew it'd be uncomfortable at first, but yet you were still determined to take it because you knew you could. After all, surely it wouldn't hurt that bad, right?

Wrong.

When you felt the head of his cock pierce your hole, your eyes immediately shot open and you felt a pain in your butt. "Ah~!" your initial moan of pain was quite high-pitched, and he winced at the thought of the initial stretch. Slowly but surely, Toji slid more & more of his cock into your ass, gritting his teeth the entire time. You, meanwhile, were whimpering in pain, whining from how bad it hurt. "Toji, Toji, p-please--I can't take it-"

"C'mon, baby, you've got this. Just breathe 'n hold onto me, okay? You're doing so well, sooo fuckin' well," he crooned into your ear, kissing away the tears of pain that flowed down your cheeks.

"Please, Toji, it hurts!"

"I know it hurts, I know--but you're almost there, see? We're past the halfway point already. C'mon, you're a big girl, you can handle it. Just... just lemme slide... oh, fuck-" the feeling of your tight ass around his cock was just heavenly. It was unlike anything he's ever felt before. Any mouth that sucked him, any pussy that took him couldn't even compare to this overflow of sensation that he was feeling. It was like angels were caressing him, like the softest pillow in existence. "Oh, fucking fuck," he panted, desperately resisting the urge to just shove it all in there and take your pleasure for himself. "Just... just a little bit more... hah- are you tryin' to choke me or somethin'?"

"No, I swear! It's just, it hurts so good, god you're so fucking big, Toji!!" And there it was: that spongy spot that drove the two of you wild. Once the tip of his cock pierced it, all those whines and pained cries were replaced by sheer, unabashed pleasure. The combination of the fading pain & the incoming waves of pleasure and heaven were enough to make you scream out his name: "Tojiii, fuuuck!!"

"Jesus christ... oh my god," he rasped, throwing his head back at the delicious constriction. "You feel so, so, so amazing." He moved his head back to look at you, and his eyes widened by how deliciously erotic the scene was. You, underneath him, your face the unbridled image of pleasure, and that yummy belly bulge that showed where his cock was hitting you. "Fuck, I'm hitting you that deep? Hahh, if there was any chance of me letting you go, that chance was just wiped away! Just lemme... fuck," he gasped when he retracted his cock slowly but surely, dragging every inch against your anal walls.

When he plunged his cock back inside of you, you could see stars painted on the ceiling above you. "I... can't... it feels too good... m-making me lose my mind-" you said in between gasps.

"Too good? Too good?" he was slowly starting to pick up steam, rocking his hips back and forth. "Just wait 'til you get adjusted to me, because I'm gonna make you see the whole fucking galaxy."

As Toji gradually began to pick up speed, your nails dug into his muscular back, raking it down, making his back all but red. "Fuck~ fuck~ fuck~ fuck~" you whimpered in between thrusts, your eyes going half-lidded and your jaw going slack.

"Yeahhhh, there you go, doll," he panted, "just keep tellin' me how amazing you're feeling, and I'll make you feel even better."

The more he thrusted into you, the dirtier your moans became. You were now reduced to nothing but a moany, whiny puddle with your hands going to his back and holding on for dear life. Toji was also in a similar state to you, thrusting into you like a madman who needed you to survive.

"Fuck... shit, doll, you're so fuckin' warm n' heavenly--are you trying to make me addicted to you? Because it's workin, baby girl," he rasped, dipping his head to where yours laid and whispering dirty nothings into your ear.

After you let out a few whiny, incoherent moans, you were able to babble: "W-Want you, Toji--want you to keep fucking me like this!"

"Yeah? You want me to fuck you like this? Or, maybe," he grabbed your legs, threw them over his shoulders & folded you like a pretzel, "like this?" This change in position allowed the tip of his meaty cock to pierce your spongy spot, making you moan like an idiot with each ministration. Each stroke was designed to ruin you, each word was spoken to make your knees like jelly, and each look he casted you was filled with his love.

"C'mon, baby, look at me, talk to me," he crooned, trying to get your attention again. He gently grabbed your cheeks and turned your head to face him, his jade eyes seeking the affirmations within yours. "Look at me... I wanna see those pretty eyes of 'yers."

When you refused to look at him out of sheer embarrassment from the moans & whimpers you let out, he grabbed your chin with his hand and forced you to look at him. "Look at me, angel, look at me while I fuck you like this."

"I'm l-looking- I'm looking!!"

"Good... god, angel do you know how fucking gorgeous you look right now? All vulnerable and splayed out for ol' Toji here? God, it's been ages since I've had pussy like this--I didn't even know it could feel so fucking good!" he exclaimed, a light snarl making its way out of his mouth.

"Never had dick like yours, d-daddy!" you squealed, somehow still able to talk, even after the man just started making your insides mush.

'Daddy?' he asked himself. Did you really just call him daddy?

"W-What was that?" he asked, his eyes blown wide from the term.

"I said... fuck~ I've never had dick like yours, daddy!!" you said with more vigor. "Never had such a long, g-girthy dick like yours--it's so fucking incredible, I'm drooling n' making such a big fucking mess on this bed!!"

He felt something snap inside of him when you called him daddy for the second time. It was like the tightrope that he was walking on snapped finally, and all the pent-up frustration and lust inside of him was going haywire.

"Daddy? Daddy?" he repeated, this time in a mocking tone of voice. "Oh, ohhh, so I'm your daddy now, huh?" the sudden change of demeanor made your belly churn in equal parts fear & excitement. You could see the beast inside of him slowly coming out, his green eyes becoming a jaded, darker color. "Answer me, you slut: am I your daddy? Yes or no!" he slapped the inside of your thigh harshly, making you yelp in pain.

"Yeah, y-you're m'daddy-"

"That's more like it, that's what I wanna hear. I bet you have a nice, big kink for letting older men like me have their way with you, fucking your brains out n' stuffing you like a creampie--or am I the only one who's churned you like butter?" with each thrust, each question posed, he let out another snarl, almost like a feral wolf in heat.

"Oh, I am sooo gonna destroy you now, you little slut. I mean, just look at the way you're lookin' at me right now, I bet you wore that slutty lil' lingerie set of yours earlier so you could get the ever-loving shit fucked out of you, huh? Huh?" he slapped your thigh again & again, his large red hand leaving a print on the fat. "Answer me when I ask you questions!!"

"Y-Yes!" you admitted finally, "I wore that lingerie set so I could get the shit... fucked out of me!! God, I've been waiting for this day for ages, the day when I'd finally find someone who could ruin me!!"

He let out a dark laugh, stuffing two fingers down your throat & making you gag. "You fucking whore, you're a fucking whore, aren't ya? A whore for big dicks, eh? I bet I've already turned you into my whore, haven't I, angel?"

You nodded while gagging on his fingers, the tears of pleasure and pain falling down your cheeks. Here you were, getting completely slutted out, drilled into this mattress by a guy who was 10 years your senior, and you were in heaven. You had no idea that meeting up with someone you met online could lead to the most mind-numbing, toe-curling sex imaginable, but you were so fucking glad to have taken the leap.

"Enough talking from you, whore," he sneered, adding a third finger to your mouth & making you drool. "I'm gonna show you how good it feels to be turned into a fleshlight."

By the time the words registered inside of your head, you were already long gone. The combination of his fingers down your throat, the dirty degradation & praise he was spewing into your ear, and the feeling of his cock piercing your spongy spot relentlessly made your mind break, and you were only one round in. With Toji's endless, stallion-like stamina, you were no doubt gonna be fucked in all sorts of positions & ways.

A week ago, you wouldn't have recognized the girl who you'd been turned into. You probably would've been embarrassed of yourself at that. But any girl or guy would've been jealous of you if they saw how good the pipe was.

"Fuck~! Fuck~! Fuck~!" was all that you were able to say as the man demolished you (with your approval, of course). You'd never cum so fast in your life, but you could feel that familiar bubble building up in you--only it was a good 10 times more intense than the last time you had sex with a guy. Maybe it was the deep dish dick that he gave you, or maybe it was the insane chemistry that you and him had, but it was coming to you like a freight train.

He could feel your tight little anus clenching down on his cock repeatedly, and he knew that you were gonna cum quickly. "Awww, is my lil' angel gonna cum?" he asked mockingly, to which you nodded. "I shouldn't even let ya cum after seeing how much of a whore you are, but you've been sooo good to my dick that I just have to reward you."

He leaned down to kiss the side of your face & whispered: "go ahead, princess, cum for me. Cum on daddy's dick, n' I'll stuff ya full of his seed." He even rubbed your cock just so you could cum sooner.

And just like that, you came all over yourself & his hand. It was a pretty sight to see, the milky white fluid shooting out of your tip like an uncontrollable, unstable geyser, and you couldn't stop the "Toji~!"s and "daddy~!"s from leaving your lips--not that either of you wanted that to stop.

Toji just chuckled & watched you ride out your orgasm on his dick. "Fuck... just look at you, baby, you're a work of art. If we weren't strangers, I woulda snapped a pic o' this view and made it my lockscreen, but we aren't there yet?"

As you came down from your high, you looked at him hazily in confusion. "Wha...? Whaddya mean?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow. "I'm keeping ya around, pet. What, you thought that this was some one-time, one-night stand?" he scoffed, shaking his head.

"I'm not letting go of your sweet ass until my hands can't physically do so anymore."

Toji promptly fucked you in every single position imaginable, orgasm after orgasm spewing from the tip of your overstimulated penis. Missionary, doggy, cowgirl, spooning, reverse cowgirl, the spread-eagle--the mating press was your personal favorite because you got to feel every ounce of that man on top of you.

By the time you were able to register what was happening, you'd already came... however many times you came, and you were currently getting pistoned into in the full nelson. He had your ankles next to your head, your soft, squishy body propped up against his shredded & muscular frame, and his huge cock lodged deep inside of you.

"Fuck... fuck... fuck," he panted, still thrusting after all this time. "You can take another load, right, doll? Well, it don't matter anyway; you're taking my seed until my balls empty out."

"Toji... p-please," you whimpered, so overstimulated that you could barely keep conscious. "Had enough..."

"Oh, you can take another. You're a big girl, right?" he patted your thigh mockingly and went back to holding your ankle up, making sure that you were at his mercy. "So overstuffed you might just burst, hm?" he cooed, kissing next to your ear. "I just love making pretty girls like you into total sluts."

You went back to lolling your head to the side, your jaw open as the moans escaped your lips.

"Fuck... think 'm gonna-" before he could finish that sentence, he dumped yet another thick & heavy load into your hole. You let out a weak whimper and curled your toes, the feeling stimulating you yet again. Your eye trailed over to him when you realized that he wasn't thrusting anymore, and you could see that he was panting heavily.

"Toji...?"

"I think I've dumped every ounce of seed into ya, doll," he chuckled breathlessly, throwing his head back in victory. "N' you managed to do it without tapping out, too. I'm proud of ya for taking all of this--most girls can't even manage a fourth round before tapping out."

You didn't say anything, instead falling back onto his body weakly. "So tired," you mumbled against his meaty pec.

"I know you are," he crooned, running a hand through your hair and smiling at your fucked-out form. "You really took it all like a champ, angel. I'm truly proud of you."

Taking all of his pipe & his seed should've earn you a trophy.

"Thankyou," you slurred, still resting your head on his chest. "Think I'm gonna... rest here for a little while."

"Me, too, doll," he sighed, stretching his arm out to wrap around your shoulders. He leaned in, pressing a few kisses to your sweaty forehead, looking at you with every ounce of love he had in his body. "You know I didn't mean any of that shit about you being a slut, right?"

"Mm..."

"That's how I get when I'm caught up in the moment," he chuckled, now nuzzling his lips there. "You're just the most beautiful girl in the world," he remarked, still gazing at you fondly. "It's a wonder you're still available. Then again, not many can handle a girl like you, can they?"

You were slowly drifting off to sleep in his arms, the love hotel's bed surprisingly comfy for your weak form. "Hey... you're not gonna... run off in the morning, right? Like all the rest?"

"Are you kiddin' me?" he scoffed, the notion of him being a guy like that ridiculous to him. "I'm not an asshole, doll. I've got the most beautiful girl in the world resting in my arms. Ain't no way I'm gonna make the mistake of letting you go so quickly, no ma'am. When I meant I wasn't gonna leave you alone, I meant it."

By then, he realized that you had fallen asleep, and he gave you a soft smile. "So fuckin' pretty when you're relaxed, doll..." he whispered, pressing more soft kisses to your forehead. He moved his arm from your shoulder to your waist and was now cradling your petite frame to his burly one.

"You're not like the others on that website, are you?" he asked both you and himself. "You're an angel amongst men... you don't belong there. You deserve the world, n' I hope you'll let me give it to you. Hell, I hope I can even give you what you deserve." He, too, felt a little weary, but he stayed awake just to watch your sleeping form.

"You deserve heaven, angel."

I'M PART OF THE SOFT!TOJI AGENDA!!! I wanted to give the reader a comforting ending, just in case someone was stuck in a bad situation w/ an asshole 🥹 I also kinda went overboard on the smut but I made the ending as fluffy as possible! I'm not proofreading this btw.

© ʙʀᴜɴᴇᴛᴛᴇ-ʙɪᴛᴄʜ77 on tumblr - get your own shit bitches | ca. 7/2/2024

[andy-wm]

Jungkook's GOLDEN moment

Or, the media journey of our Golden Boy's debut album, and what it all means.

This post grew out of a question that popped into my head a couple of days ago.... "what are we really getting on 3 November?"

Sometimes ADHD is a blessing. Other times it's a curse. It all depends on your perspective.

I was going to write a few words - just share an idea - but part of my day job is getting the facts right (and doing the research and validating information) so what started as a quick idea has grown into a long, long story.

As I said, ADHD can be a blessing. I may have resorted to cutting my own hair yesterday because I keep forgetting to make an appointment with the barber, but I can go without food or sleep if something sparks my curiosity. And this has. And the good news is, I'm sharing all that with whoever wants to read it. The other good news is that fortunately, hair grows back.

So I suggest you either grab a snack and get comfortable, or skip to the end to read my conclusion. Because in Tumblr, as in life, my ability to talk nonstop for hours about random shite is unmatched.

Where did all this begin?

When did we first hear about Jungkook's debut solo album? I believe the original announcement came from the annual forecast/investment report documents, which I found out about via tw in May this year.

Jungkook's album was officially forecast for release in the fourth quarter according to the HYBE and Hanwha Investment report.

We were all thrilled and excited! I certainly was.

JK's voice is the aural equivalent of an ice cream sundae - refreshingly cool and softly warm, and multi-layered with all the fancy toppings. He can do pop-sugar sprinkles, he can do fancy slivered almonds, he can do spicy peaches in brandy, lit on fire.

His voice flows into your ears, sweet and hot, just like him.

It was good news but not surprising. Because by the time that report came out we had already had albums (or news of albums) from Hobi, Namjoon, Jiminie and Yoongles. We had figured out they were all going release something. It would have been odd if Jungkook DIDN'T join his bandmates in this. ARMY knows he's a prolific and talented songwriter from way back. He's been writing and producing songs for BTS's albums from as far back as 2015. With instant ARMY favourites like Still With You, Decalcomania, and Your Eyes Tell to his name, Jungkook's album was an exciting prospect.

In June and July, rumours about the album surfaced:

On 4 June, Korean news website Sports Chosun, released an article about Jungkook's debut album - claiming the release date as 14 July. The article toted an English song on the album as 'a huge hit'.

BigHit responded, slapping the news website on the wrist and stating that THEY would make announcement when the release date was confirmed.

ARMYs and everyone else lit up the ether with chatter about the announcement, but where many news sites were simply regurgitating the Sports Chosun article, we were wondering where they got that information, and why they were talking about this English song being a hit as though that would be something new for a BTS song.

Um... do you know BTS?

Fast forward to 14th July... and the release of SEVEN (ft Letto).

A single, not an album, but it was HUGE.

Most ARMYs loved it but some were shocked... at the revelation that their darling Jungkookie is in fact a horny young man who enjoys pleasures of the flesh. And thank god he does, honestly, because the thought of his youth and beauty being wasted on abstinence is devastating to me. He works too hard not to enjoy a good fuck - hopefully seven days a week.

We all know the explicit version had a few people clutching their pearls and petticoats, but on the whole the reception was good. SEVEN (ft Letto!) sailed majestically to the top of the charts all across the globe and settled in alongside Like Crazy as a long term resident on the Billboard Hot 100.

Jungkook travelled abroad for the promos (with Jimin) and sang his song everywhere from New York to London.

But he also visited us, often.

He made time to chat for hours with ARMY, telling us how much we mean to him, and how he has decided to trust himself, and how he hopes WE would trust him too. He told us over and over that he has decided to do what he wants. That this is what he wants. That he hopes we love it.

It was clear he was having a lot of fun with SEVEN.

The MV, and the making of the MV, were a hit in themselves, and we got to see JK's acting chops (clearly SO MUCH better than Yoongi's he told us).

And then came more news about the album...

It wasn't long after that, only three days in fact, before another article about his upcoming album surfaced. This time it was on the (apparently very factually reliable) music news site, Hits Daily Double.

The article sat strangely askew for many ARMYs. For OT7 fans of BTS it felt more than a little off.

From the opening sentence...

Jung Kook's "Seven" f/Latto (HYBE/Geffen) set records in its first 24 hours on Spotify.

...to the brazenly competitive comparisons with BTS and the other members achievements, the tone of the article was smug and divisive and frankly not very Bangtan.

For a short puff piece, it managed to put a good half of the fandom's nose out of joint. I have no doubt that was the intention, that it aimed to sow dissent and push JK ahead of his members in ARMY's - and the world's - eyes. We weren't mad at JK - far from it - we could see right through the writer's intent. And we knew who was behind it...

Enter stage left: The Villain, Scrotum Balls

"HYBE Chairman Bang Si-Hyuk's trust in HYBE America CEO Scooter Braun is continuing to pay off. Braun found the song and connected Jung Kook with the Grammy-winning Producer of the Year he reps, Andrew Watt."

Did SB write this bollocks himself?? What a twat, seriously.

But wait, there's more...

"Those involved with Jung Kook's forthcoming debut album, which will be an all-English effort, are very bullish on the project and see it as a pivotal moment in the BTS solo campaign. Jung Kook's embrace of sexuality and profanity is giving new life to BTS fans..."

This is where it all starts going a little pear shaped. I can almost see the smile melting off Jungkook's face as he read this article.

Not a word about the themes this album would explore, or the music itself, or even a word from the artist. Just SB crowing about the 'project' that those involved were so bullish about.

In other articles on this site from the same time, Jungkook is referred to as an alumnus of BTS, and the erstwhile bandmate of V. Both of these terms insinuate that he has left BTS, which is very misleading.

At that point, some of us were very worried. It was starting to look like Jungkook himself was the project - a little project for SB to use as a self promotion tool. The sacrificial lamb he was going to offer to the gods of commercial radio and the plastic world of pop stardom to redeem himself for the absolute fucking mess he made when he tied up his label's artists with red tape and held them hostage.

Did anyone watch the movie TAR?

Spoiler alert, but the main character Lydia's attempts to regain her influence after she destroyed her own empire, are not dissimilar to SB's. The only way she could rise from the ashes after figuratively burning her house to the ground, was to reinvent herself in a new environment. She started over, with her trademark ego-driven confidence not dented in the least, believing herself the ultimate maestro as she took on a new project to mould into her image of success.

The parallels are uncanny.

Moving on...

Suchwita with Jungkook was revealing, in that it revealed nothing...

Specifically the nothing that had happened with the mini album!

Jungkook said he hadn't started working on the album, he was still searching single #2. He said after the second single he would release a mini album in November.

"Are the songs for the album ready?" Yoongi asked.

"No" replied Jungkook, "I have to start working on them now."

At the time Suchwita was filmed, Jungkook had yet to start working on the songs for the mini album he was due to release in November.

In a previous Weverse live he also said he hadn't started working yet. He had no songs. The extended break was so good that he would have been happy to keep resting, until SEVEN came along.

Confirmed in the AUDACY interview in NY:

In his interview with Audacy (recorded around 14 July in NY) Jungkook's message was consistent with what he said to Yoongi.

There were 'no specifics set yet' when asked about an upcoming album... certainly no mention of ALL ENGLISH SONGS.

When asked "How do you want to make your solo work special and unique to you?" Jungkook responded that he didn't want to chase anything. That he 'wants everything to become special naturally, because he does his best.' He says SEVEN wasn't released because he had specific plans, it just happened. He wants the next song to come along naturally too.

That's a very different message from the brash, aggressively confident stance taken in the Hits Daily Double article - I think we we can safely assume they were SB's words - and it's also not shining a light on SB as the hero of the moment the way the article tried to do.

Jungkook had either not been briefed on SB's vision for the album, or he wasn't on board with it. Either way, the album was not mentioned again until early October.

Let's return to Suchwita and to Tae's interview.

*this is focused on the conversation about JK's album, no disrespect to our smooth operator.

"This album is the last solo album," says Yoongi.

When I watched this episode I first thought Yoongi was talking about the order that the Suchwita episodes were filmed, when he said Tae's album was the last. He clarified in the next sentence that he was talking about the release date.

"You're the last one," says Yoongi.

&lt;<Wait... so what happened to JK's album?>>

"That's right. I feel so much pressure," continues Tae.

"Everyone was like, I don't want to be last," laughs Yoongi.

What Tae says next is pivotal:

"But if I didn't like it, I wouldn't have released it. I would have said I'm sorry, but I can't."

Oh really?

So THAT'S AN OPTION? He could say "No, I don't like it so I'm not releasing it."?!

They go on to talk about promotions for all the members and how they differed, as though everyone else has done all the promotions they have lined up, but all I can think about is...

Did Jungkook say NO to SB?

Maybe he hadn't agreed to anything when that Hits Daily Double article was published. Maybe SB shot his mouth off before JK had even listened to the songs he was proposing. Jungkook told us he's doing what he wants to do.

Maybe Jungkook didn't like the songs, or the direction the album was taking. Our Jungkook can be stubborn and he knows his worth. Maybe he said he didn't want to be SB's little project?

That would explain why we heard nothing else about his *All English*mini album. Between July and the announcement of the release date in early October, there wasn't even a whisper.

On 3 October, Hits Double Daily released a second article:

The tone of this release couldn't be more different from the first article.

No mention of SB

No mention of ALL ENGLISH

Jungkook is suddenly back in the BigHit stable, whereas before he was being associated with Hybe/Geffen

The source is clearly stated as BH

The forceful language of the first article is notably absent. This piece is purely factual, short and to the point.

Tags for this article are: JungKook, BTS, GOLDEN, BIGHIT. Compared to the first article which was additionally tagged with HYBE, Geffen, Scooter Braun, Bang Si-Hyuk, Andrew Watt.

This sentence: Jung is known as the “golden maknae” (“golden youngest”) of BTS. Suddenly Jungkook is back in BTS (as opposed to an alumnus of BTS). His status as the maknae also firmly grounds him in his Korean roots, a fact which was hardly mentioned in other articles. (and they got his name wrong ffs...)

There's also the MAJOR fact that unlike SEVEN, Jungkook is performing the debut of this album in Korea, not in the USA. That also says to me that SB is not involved (or less involved).

Other evidence of Jungkook's autonomy in this, is his unexpected performance of Still With You at the GCL concert. You could tell he was nervous, he lost his performance presence a little - standing awkwardly with his hand on his hip - and I think it was because there was something more at stake with that performance. All my fingers and toes are crossed for it's inclusion on the album.

Where does that leave us with GOLDEN?

My conclusion is that there has been some level of disagreement between SB and Jungkook about the album. And that Jungkook has stood his creative ground (YES!) and put some distance between himself and SB.

I fervently hope this is true.

Remember that Yoongi said Jungkook is the most talented musician he's ever met.

Yoongi, who I would trust with my soul even if he had horns and called himself the prince of darkness.

well that picture's kinda hot!

...

...

...

(I lost my train of thought thinking about Yoongi with horns)

Yes, Yoongi said that.

Yoongi who works with dozens and dozens of musicians including 6 of the most successful artists in the world...oh, and PSY.

The suggestion in the first article - that Jungkook's debut album was being designed with strategic market-oriented goals in mind - was so disturbing, when we know what a brilliant artist he is.

Sure it would be advantageous if Jungkook could access the networks and opportunities that come with an association with SB.

But if having an introduction to SB's circle means he's handcuffed to the strategic vision of a person who sees music as a corporate commodity, and Jungkook as a project, I truly hope he said 'I'll pass thanks.'

And let's not forget the album went from being a mini album (2-6 songs) to ELEVEN songs. In my minds eye I see Jungkook saying 'you think I can't come up with a whole album in two months? Hold my beer.'

Jungkook doesn't need SB to be successful...

He is after all...

THE GOLDEN MAKNAE

Here are the sources, if you want to see where this info came from...

[faiseuse-d-histoires]

Penelope as LW NEVER RUINED AYONE`S LIVE!!! marina end up very well thansk to stupid daphne. Eloise is safe in her rich well looking shit family. its so funny that you are so moral about pen writting gossip about people but you are so in love with a couple WHO CHEAT ON THE WOMANS SISTER FOR GODS SAKE!!!! poor edwina find out in the wedding her sister ans groom were fucking. Kate actng all angsty about her sister but they go ans kiss and fuck that man. They are cheaters and you love them.

Keep telling yourself that. I feel you've been sending that ask to others as well, and perhaps others in my box. Sad, so very sad. In fact, like the show version of your favorite.

Once again, it was something that wasn't in the book. In the book, there is not that kind of love triangle, Edwina is all for Kanthony.

If i have to defend the show, I'd say Edwina and Anthony were not engaged because of love, they chose each other because they thought they'd be a good match. Feelings weren't truly involved. Edwina feeling betrayed is legitimate, but her feelings are more based on a fairy tale she wants to live and that could go with any other gentle man than love for Anthony.

Love can happen, and well, Kate and Anthony kissed and made love, and that was something they could not control. It was never to hurt Edwina, and they wanted to keep her happy with what she wanted. But sometimes, feelings are stronger than duty, and Edwina saw with that look they shared both were in love. I think she was angrier at not knowing it and being kept blind, and not because she was in love with Anthony.

Cheating before a wedding of convenience and spreading secrets for what is convenient for one's gains are absolutely not on the same level. The first is private, the latter is public, and has thus more important consequences.

Kate was ready to leave if Edwina could have that fairy tale, even when she knew she loved Anthony. She wanted the best for her sister..Did Penelope step back so that Marina could have a life with a man of her choosing? No, she went all "I've raised you high, but now I'm going to dig your grave so that you won't have Colin".

But I see you wanted Marina to be miserable, as you added "thanks to stupid Daphne". Like "how dare she try to take Colin, when Penelope has a crush on him!" News flash, just because Penelope wants Colin doesn't mean he's hers and should be ashamed for not wanting her.

As for Eloise, Penelope revealed something she knew could make her be excluded, punished by authorities, she and her family. AND had the audacity to say Eloise talks, but never tries to do something about it (Girl, you totally stopped her from actually trying to do something, don't be a hypocrite). Far worse than Penelope overhearing Colin saying to à group of gentlemen he wouldn't court her, which only dims her marriage prospects, but not her status as a priviledged one (because yes, she is. Also, it doesn't happen like that in the books).

Penelope is no moral compass. She shouldn't be. She points fingers and yes, does ruin lives by writing her little anonymous articles, but for the moment, that's all she does.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "gossiping" about a coworker?

I (27m) work in a liquor store and am quite genuinely the most competent employee despite having been until very recently the newest. Other than the owner, there are 2 who've worked there longer than me and both of them (I'll call em C (31m) and M(39f) have made much less effort to learn about liquor or even, quite frankly, people skills than I have. And lemme tell you, I started out very socially anxious. I'm a regular socialite now.

So C, at least, has a really good work ethic. He's not super socially adept with customers but he makes up for it by going above and beyond, like taking initiative to do a lot of the relatively "shit" work that the rest of us don't wanna do. I'd also say I get along with him very well bc he's pretty intelligent and open-minded.

M, meanwhile, is genuinely the most simple-minded person I've ever known in my life. The good thing is that she seems to be kind of self-aware of not being very smart and able to be a good sport about it (ngl it helps that I'm gay and she's the type to want a sassy gbf so i can kinda get away with being mean as a joke) - and she is also often just as self-aware about the fact that she doesn't do shit at work. Like she'll literally pause deliveries just bc she doesn't feel like driving, she never takes out trash, she's basically always late, she mentally shuts down at the prospect of any math despite working with money, she has little to no decision-making skills either, she spends half her shift in the bathroom and the other half literally playing solitaire, she isn't able to help customers with shit bc she's never made an effort to learn about anything we sell, etc. But she's nice, and we really don't need her help that much with anything other than just having people behind the counter.

And that's more or less what I told the newest hire, S(25F). It was in the context of explaining exactly how incredibly easy this job is - that basically almost nothing was gonna be expected of her. As examples I told her how M does the least here by far after being here for over 2 years and is at no risk of being fired. I really didn't think much of it bc my intentions were purely to point out that this is a chill job.

But a few weeks later, seemingly at random, M kinda blew up at me for being "disrespectful" about something entirely unrelated. In short it was a matter of me getting a little too comfortable joking about her incompetence in front of a customer, and I hadn't realized in this particular instance it would be upsetting but I understood after the fact and I apologized. She responded literally ONLY by saying "you're not gonna disrespect me, I'm grown" and went on to literally just leave for the day. I was baffled, but when I saw her next I basically immediately gave another apology. She explained then that the reason she was upset was that the new girl S told her that I said she was the laziest one here, saying "I thought we were friends."

I obviously tried to apologize profusely, promising her that it wasn't a "talking shit" sort of thing and trying to explain the context of that, etc. But also I think it's pretty fucking rich and kinda insane of her to be so upset that I said she was lazy. She says so herself, all the time. Also the fact that S would tell M about this conversation and clearly either leave out the context or just do nothing to dissuade M from being upset about it.... Basically idk if I should feel bad about this. In the future I won't be talking shit to S just pragmatically speaking but WAS i wrong to do it at all? AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[funficwriter]

A Wolf and A Snake - Letters' Interlude #4

Taglist: @yue-caelum, @reyy-chanx, @mis-disaster, @ladyarchiviste, @keigo-hawks-takami-simp

Warnings: Cursing, sexism, corruption, mention of violence, some yandere shit but you know that by now. Moral dilemma? Lol.

From: Lady Y/N Balthazar - Balthazar Manor, Court Region, Fontaine

To: Duke Wriothesley of Meropide, Fortress of Meropide, Liffey Region, Fontaine

Wriothesley,

I know I risk sounding like a broken record saying this, but I really do wear each day. I'm just happy that I can still write to you because I feel that it's one of the few pleasures I have left. Between my piano lessons and reading time being interrupted by meeting with Archandelle, my parents' constant nagging, and the fact that I constantly have to sneak around their backs even for things unrelated to my marriage prospects... I'm exhausted, my love. And troubled. That's why I'm writing this.

When our last meeting ended abruptly, there was so much more I wanted to say to you. I was barely scraping the bottom of the barrel and our day lives tore us apart again. At least Frosty is good company and patiently waiting for me to finish this letter and send it to you.

Yesterday, I snuck out to the police station under the pretense of 'shopping'. Do you remember that young officer I once mentioned? Jacques? He looked scared when they let me in his office, even though everyone else seemed excited for him. I guess the visit of a noble does that.

I'm a terrible person, Wriothesley.

The first time I came here, I picked him specifically because he was young and new and a little naive, as all new cops are. He was so ready to help me, even more so when I said: "An injustice is being done upon me. I need evidence to counter it.". He almost jumped out of his seat until he understood what I meant: The 'injustice' is merely procedure. What woman says this, only for it to be her engagement that she, her parents, and the suitor agreed to? What sort of injustice was noble tradition that was carried out for centuries?

And I shoved the cash on the table, and it increased in volume. And I invoked his poor family that he was trying to feed, the girl he wanted to marry... "Do you really want to wait forever on your shitty wage, when you could propose in an hour? All you have to do is give me what I asked for. It's not that hard.". He couldn't. I was corrupting him, and by Focalors, what sort of noble am I - a Balthazar no less - if I use the very enemy of justice for my own selfish gains? All of this to not get married?

It was lengthy. It was uncomfortable and I could feel the fibers of my being twisting to accommodate this act that I would never have dreamed of committing. It was like exerting a muscle I didn't use, but way more intense. In the end, he gave me the pile you saw last time.

I did it again this evening. Wriothesley, last time, I was ridden with guilt. I think you'd understand why better than most. But this time? I started justifying it. With each reason I gave as to why this was fine, good even, my guilt washed away. After all, there would be no need to resort to such extreme measures if I could just be with you from the start. And then I thought: "I've never justified my father's deed until I started committing it. I am more like him and less just than I thought.". I wanted to cry. Who is this new person - no, these new people and this new logic? Why am I less like what I used to be?

Fuck my life, why do I have to be less like what I used to be just so I can marry the one I love? A privilege that many girls today have?

I'm sorry for the plaintive note today. I'm just... So torn. Yes, I think 'torn' comes closest to it. I am turning into what I was warned about my entire life, but it's not like I'm doing it to embezzle money or get someone wrongfully convicted. I just want to be with you, but even that's too much to ask in this stupid class and family...

Total truth? There are times where I want do more. Once, my father was talking to his friends about how excited he was for my prospects. Do you know what my brother said? "I was worried she wouldn't get her eyes off of that Meropide mutt. At least she's probably forgotten about him, as she should.". They laughed a lot and later joked about Father's lack of control during my first social. They said that they couldn't tell who needed a leash more: You for being "a dog", or me for giving you "loving eyes" back then, as if I wanted you for a bit. Father dismissed them by talking about another man's daughter and her bad marriage. He was embarrassed, but I wanted to go over there and scratch his eyes out. Maybe my brother's too, and the other men who were joking. I wanted to wrench my hand into Lord Carmichael's back and make his wife a widow to be judged. Maybe then he'd enjoy it down in hell. Or have some emotional intelligence.

I'm thinking of you, and hoping we can see each other soon. Maybe my spirits will be lifted....

---------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Duke Wriothesley of Meropide - Fortress of Meropide, Liffey Region, Fontaine

To: Lady Y/N Balthazar - Balthazar Manor, Court Region, Fontaine

Y/N dear,

It was only a matter of time until you sent me such a letter. For one, during our latest meeting, you looked like you had way more to say. I can only look forward to a life where the dawn doesn't shut us up and away.

First of all, please don't apologize for the sadness that you feel. Unlike that idiot suitor and father, I don't expect you to be happy 24/7, even if at your own inconvenience. I may call you 'my doll', but I know you've got a far wider emotional range than that.

I don't know how effective saying this would be, but your message reads a lot like my younger self. How it saddens me that you had to realize the double-faced quality of Fontainian justice like this... Even if you knew it deep down, as you grew up and understood how so many noblemen get away with their crimes, engaging with it is a whole greater beast. Sometimes I wonder whether there are judges, prosecutors, lawyers and other potential lawful agents who have lost faith in our judicial systems. Many of our current judges are indeed doing their best to combat it (I know Neuvillette will never rest as long as this issue remains), but it doesn't change the fact that many are still being failed today. Orphans. Young noble ladies. Poor people. Us. By Focalors, us.

As Meropide's administrator and a noble, I'm certain that you would think of me as a man of justice, just like many others. I think of myself that way, too. I know I have the power to end the laws and traditions that are screwing us over (and sometimes I wonder: How many other couples like us?). It sounds hypocritical, doesn't it? I am hiring back-alley investigators and threatening data out of whoever knows what I need. And you, a lady raised in the hearth of justice, you're lying to your parents and corrupting police officers. How could we possibly be good, you may ask?

After these few months, I came to a conclusion: A man of justice should not mean being a doormat, especially if the injustice will cost him his love.

For one, the change that could benefit us is nowhere near as fast as needed. What does this result in? Potentially happy couples are being torn apart. The point behind justice is to protect one's right to a life that he desires, that his loved ones desire and that harms no one. Is our union based on economic exploitation, power dynamics, sexism or leveraging? No. How is it that most noble couples stand on these crimes, while the only one with ours is that I am not fully human and that you want me? I am not going around slaughtering people or terrorizing the city. You, an angel sent by Focalors herself, have never commissioned your husband to kill, silence or bribe. Archons, what did you do to deserve this fate when I can think of women far more rotten than you?

Now you may counter me and say that you have engaged in bribery yourself, and that's bad. But you know what? It doesn't matter to me. I couldn't care less about it. This may sound worrisome to hear from a man of justice. But as a man, without fancy titles and more emotions and feelings, I'm getting real sick of this. I don't bring myself to care about judicial principles if an obvious double standard is taking place, one that is taking you away from me. I know what makes me get up and do my best everyday. I know what I'd turn savage for, who I'd risk a life sentence and a downfall for, and it's not justice. Justice can't enjoy brownies with me on a star-lit night. Justice can't lie in my bed. Justice can't wake me up with a good morning kiss and take me to go swim in Belleau. All of that is you, and it will always be you.

I care about justice. I really do. But justice, along with your father, money and Fontaine, can go fuck itself if it compromises my wife.

I look forward to the day that the noble class is held accountable, and choice unions are the norm. Until then, I'm just going to have to fight tooth and nail for my own. It's actually a must, my dear. We need to set a new precedent for the upcoming generation. Backing down is not going to challenge what your parents and their fellow nobles have always done.

I know your schedule is getting more hectic by the day. When you can, though, please let me know if a free window opens up. Perhaps we can see and update each other on our findings.

Always yours, and you're always mine,

Wriothesley.

[onwesterlywinds]

Livvy's #FFXIVWrite2024 Wrap-Up Post

Hi all - we did it! Whether you wrote all thirty days, are still catching up, won't be writing all the prompts or were just spectating this year... we made it through September!

As always, I have to kick things off with a massive thanks to @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast for creating this incredible event and keeping it running every year. This is by far my favorite XIV event because it's such an incredible showcase of the talent and love we all pour into our own (and each other's!) work, and it couldn't be possible with Moen's absolutely massive investment of time and energy.

This was my SIXTH consecutive year completing #FFXIVWrite! Last year, I learned my lesson about not tempting fate by invoking all the previous life crises I had weathered each September that absolutely would not inhibit me from writing (and I lied in last year's recap, everything was absolutely not fine). This year, in lieu of breaking out the thirty pieces I posted across twenty different characters, I'm going to share some things I've learned this year about myself, my writing, and/or my characters:

I wrote some of my absolute favorite bits with five or fewer minutes until the deadline. Whatever lesson I learn from this will be the wrong one.

Ashe and Rosenheim tied for the highest number of prompts: they each came in at four this year. Rosenheim has historically been a really tricky character to write, because he's so stoic and introspective... but I think I was feeling the sad man hours this year. Ahtyn came in just below them at three prompts.

Ashe and Ilberd canonically fucked during 2.1 (before she and Edge got serious). (I already knew they had canonically fucked pre-2.0, but this new information is extremely important to me. I love my favorite war criminal.)

Ahtyn canonically crossfades.

Ahtyn is also working through some intense and complicated feelings about her legacy post-Endwalker. Getting to develop a new side of her character has been an incredible and unexpected gift.

I try not to track collective word counts for this challenge because I tend to put myself under way too much pressure when I do, and because I like the freedom of going back and editing some pieces after the fact, but I can tell regardless that I've written way more this year than in any year before: I've had more pieces with 1k+ words this time around than any other year previously!

My #FFXIVWrite pieces for this year can be found here! I'm thinking of posting some of them on AO3, so stay tuned for more info!

Thank you to all the wonderful friends who cheered me on, read my stuff religiously, offered thoughts or inspiration, and/or were even more excited about the prospect of an Ashe/Edge/Hien threesome than I was. It made a massive difference, this year and all years. ✨

I'm hoping to use this blog more often outside of September - stay tuned!

And if you're still reading this, if you participated this year, this is a direct invitation for you to send me a piece you've written this year that you're especially proud of. Yes, you!

[fandomwe1rd0]

Wrote about Rick's guilt and the aftermath of the heist episode babyyy

TW FOR SLIGHT SELF HARM AND MENTION OF SUICIDE

I drove and my gaze kept falling to Morty, he was looking down at the floor with a frown on his face, now that little shit knows how I feel on a daily basis"The difference is that you deserve it. But you just traumatized this poor kid because you are an insecure fucker." The voice in my head sneered at me. God does it ever shut up? Another one chimed in "You should just kill him right here and now, he's Prime's grandson, you can stop him from continuing the Prime bloodline." I shook my head, jesus they never shut up. I tried my best to ignore them, it didn't really work, but I need to focus! I have a role to play "You know buddy...you miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Morty shrugged, his expression unchanging "I guess...thanks for staying positive about my prospects Rick..." I nodded "Of course! Y'know gotta help my grandson follow his dreams!" Morty shrugged again "Eh, who needs dreams? I'll just go on adventures with you and do whatever you wanna do y'know...forever." I couldn't stop the twisted smile that formed on my face, Rick and Morty 100 years. I wasn't going to let that go. I can't let the only thing keeping me from sprialing down a bottomless pit go. I wasn't going to let him go just so he could make a dumbass heist movie for 7 movie critics that have no life. I rubbed the back of my head, not forgetting the role I had to play "Oh well I mean sure...if that's what you want." Everything went according to plan. I'm not about to fucking lose him to Netflix, how pathetic would that be?This was fucked up, I knew it, I'm not a fucking idiot, but what was I supposed to do, just stand by and lose him? Let myself sink deeper because I don't have him by my side? Reminding me of why I don't just kill myself already? Watching him go away from me just like how Unity did? My grip on the steering wheel tighten at the thought. No. I wasn't about to fucking lose Morty. I need him.

We got home quickly and I was about to talk to Morty but he quickly walked away that little shit! I grabbed onto his arm "Hey, what's the rush?" Morty looked down with a sigh "C-Can I just leave?" He asked, his voice slightly cracking. I didn't realize that my grip on him tighten at the sound of his voice cracking. "Morty-" "Please?" I looked down at my hand on his arm, I was almost gripping it tight enough to leave a mark, I sighed and let him go.He left and I couldn't help but feel him difting away. No. Fuck no.

I ran to his room, already forming a plan to get him to stay, I tried to open the door but it was locked. I lifted my hand up, ready to bang on the door and demand him to let me in. But then I heard him sniffling. I stopped and continued listening in, pressing my ear against the door, I heard sobs rattle from his chest, I dug my fingernails into my hands, hoping to distract myself from the fact that I was upset by hearing that fucker, Prime's grandson, crying. I should be happy! So why the fuck was I not? "W-what was I thinking?" I heard his voice squeak between sobs. "I-I can't hold onto a single dream"

...

Fuck.

What was wrong with me? I felt my legs grow weak as I fell to the floor, my ear still pressed to a door "I-I can't be excited about anything anymore..."

I looked at my portal gun, I didn't realize my grip on it was so tight that it had a crack. I was such a piece of shit. Listening to my grandson cry after I ruined his dreams."You dumb piece of shit, this isn't your grandson, remember? It's Prime's. Remember him? The fucker that killed your wife? That made you into the monster you are now?

You can't even be happy to see you broke your worst enemy's grandson down to tears, pathetic."

I traumatized him. But I had to. If I didn't he would've left me. I need him. He's all I have.

"God you need a 14-year-old? You realize how pathetic you sound right? You can just get another Morty, why are you so irrationally attached to this one?"

I didn't have a reason for that. God must hate me. Out of everyone in the multiverse, in infinite dimensions, I just had to be attached to Prime's grandson. And hearing him cry wasn't helping my self-esteem get any better, but it's hard for it to get lower.

I took my portal gun and shoot a portal to Morty's room, I walked through it and saw Morty hugging his knees, sobbing into them. His sobbing was so loud that he didn't even notice that I came in "You can kill him right now. Do it. Do it. Don't be a fucking pussy."SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm not going to kill Morty okay!? For chirst's sake."Why not? You can always just get another one. Why let Prime's relative live, you can always just get another Morty."

I can't. I fucking can't. I need this one in particular. I don't fucking know why but the thought of replacing him was out of the question. I need him. I don't fucking know why. I don't know why the universe played this sick joke and made me need my worst enemy's grandson instead of just being able to kill him, but I do. If God is real (which I seriously doubt) he's the biggest dick to ever exist. Next to maybe me."Who are you kidding? You know you're a bigger dick. At least God doesn't manipulate little kids so they'll stay with him. Fucking creep."SHUT UP! WILL IT EVER SHUT UP?! I ALREADY KNOW I'M A PIECE OF SHIT! I DON'T NEED A THOUSAND REMINDERS OF IT EVERY SECOND!I stomped on my foot, the pain makes the voices a little quieter and I sat on the foot of Morty's bed, I reached my hand out to him but before I could do anything, he looked up at me, and dove in my chest with very little hesitation. God this kid was like a puppy. So desprate for affection. "He wouldn't be doing this if he knew what you did. He would hate you. He probably does!"My body tensed up. I knew the voice was right but...I wanted to let myself have this.I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled into those dumb soft brown curls, cursing myself for being weak hating how much it comforted me. As the word weak echoed echoed echoed through my head.Morty sniffled "Rick..I-I'm sorry for being so weak..." I couldn't answer. Couldn't let him know that I was the one that did this. That it had to be done so I couldn't lose him. The sick satisfaction I felt at pulling it off. "Th-thanks for being here to comfort me..." I fely my grip around him tighten as my stomach churned. He sniffed "I..I lov-" "Shut up." I spat out, voice gruffer than I intended. Morty flinched and looked up at me. I couldn't hear him say it. I didn't deserve it."The kid's lying. You're unlovable. Everyone knows it. He's a master manipulator, just like his grandpa. It runs in the family, why are you keeping him alive again? Because you 'need' him? You can't even keep yourself stable without pushing the responsibility on a teenager who's not even old enough to drive? God you're pathetic."Mortys dumb squeaky voice spoke again "I was just going to say that I-" "You never know when to shut the fuck up do you!? God you're so annoying!" I flinched when I realized what I said. Fuck. It happened again. I became an asshole without even consciously doing it."You're just an asshole. That's why you were such a dick. Why do you have to fuck up everything you touch? You fucking scum, infecting anytiing around you like a fucking virus."Goddamit it was right.

I was having a perfectly fine moment, and I fucked it up because I'm a fucking asshole. I fuck everything up. I quickly saw his eyes become wet again. I couldn't see this."What can't deal with the conquences of your actions? So you're not only a piece of shit..but a coward as well. Of course, that's why Diane died. Because you just stood there as the bomb fell to her feet like the pussy you are."It was right.I opened a portal to my bedroom, and just laid in my bed. I was too exhausted to sleep but when the sun came out, I couldn't find a reason to get off my mattress.

[tehnakki]

I just wanted to thank you for posting that selfie. I’ve been nervous about my career prospects since I’m going into engineering and dress a lot more eccentric (for lack of a better term) than like 90% of the people in my classes. It’s nice to see that someone who dresses fun and colorful doesn’t have to tone it down to do a major presentation (and to NASA at that, holy fuck)

Awwww, don't be nervous! Wanna know a ridiculous thing that happened to me as a intern/new hire?

So I worked in a human testing lab at university, and usually would run tests whenever I could get human subjects, so sometimes that was the middle of the night because college students. So I got pretty comfortable wandering about campus in my pajamas.

So I was napping in the human centrifuge between tests (like you do), when the light suddenly turned on and there was a whole horde of people in suits and polo shirts gathered around me.

My professor had forgotten to tell me that NASA Johnson was visiting for the day to see our progress.

I ended up having to give a presentation on the lab and then demonstrate the test campaign (with no bra to hold my giant bazangas). Also, my hair was pink at the time.

Fast forward 8 months and I'm working in the NASA Johnson Exercise Lab on an extension of the project I was on and on my first day multiple people said hi and called me "pajama intern", people who I am SURE were not at the lab test. That ended up being my nickname until their was a classic Houston downpour and I got soaked on my way to building 6 to give a presentation to a different team (I truly am cursed when it comes to presentations). So I stopped in the locker room and tossed all my clothes in a dryer, and sat around in a towel for a bit, but the dryer was taking forever. So I grabbed a lab coat, put it on OVER the towel (to try to disguise that I was just wearing a towel??? I still don't know what I thought would happen). And headed to the conference room.

Where I pretended to be completely oblivious to the fact that everyone was dying of laughter as I got setup and gave a very good presentation on lunar regolith.

Then I was "Labcoat [First Name]" till I left to go to industry, where I immediately died my hair blue and started wearing a Lemur onesie to the office everyday.

Anyways, for as shallow as most people are, I've found that it takes very little time for me to establish my credibility regardless of what I'm wearing. And the people who don't treat my experience and skills with respect were never going to anyways, regardless of what I was wearing. I'm a nonbinary black queer person in an industry still dominated by cis white men. If they are going to hate me for things I can't change, I may as well ignore all social mores and conventions and just have a good time being the most "myself" I can be.

And by being "myself" and not trying to mask all the time, I free up so much of my brain from anxiety about meeting some arbitrary requirements and tend to make better connections with people. So I end up with really good friendships with people who never interact with queer weirdos like me but find me fascinating. Like my buddy, a high ranking officer in The Space Force (LOL) who sends me the stupidest emoji text messages every time I snicker in a call with them. And loves that I mock the military usage of "sir/ma'aming" every sentence by calling people 20years older than me "my bud".

I have no idea where I was going with this.... But fuck the haters, have fun with your life. YOLO!

[girlbossblackbeard]

s2 brain thoughts: the squeakuel (ep 2)

as a reminder, if u see me posting any of these points as their own posts mind ur business:

-i'm sending my hospital bills to david jenkins for weaponizing thef cuking "you wear fine things well" scene WITHOUT ANY KIND OF WARNING i literally almost choked to death from shock

-hey so what the whole actual fuck is up with transitioning directly from the very painful "you wear fine things well" scene which, as we've already established, has REAL HUMAN CASUALTIES DUE TO THIS USE-CASE, into the "run from me darling" lyric overlayed on top of the god damn shot of ed pAINTING THE BRIDE CAKE TOPPER TO LOOK LIKE HIM AND BASICALLY PLAYING OUT HIS FANTASY OF MARRYING STEDE. david jenkins you have committed crimes

-also!!!!!!!!!! that cake topper has kohl smudged all over it so you KNOW our boy ed has been caressing it against his cheek and sighing longingly

-i know we've all talked about how insane the "ed plays with the wedding cake toppers pretending they're him and stede" scene is but i don't think we've really comprehended how GENUINELY INSANE it is like??? edward teach, blackbeard, the kraken, the scourge of the seven seas, the most fearsome pirate the caribbean has ever known that has recently been on a non-stop slaughtering spree, painted a bride wedding cake topper to look like himself which he then scoots next to a wedding cake topper that looks like stede so he can imagine that he's marrying him. this man carefully rubbed kohl on a cake topper to give it darker skin and darker hair and a BEARD. to make it look more like himself. so he could then. put it next to a cake topper that looked like stede. and pretend. they were getting married. i've written that 3 times now and my brain STILL refuses to fully process those sentences.

-i said it in my first brain thoughts post for ep 1 and i'll say it again: every time im reminded that ed has been crying NON-STOP. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. for MONTHS. over stede. my wall gains another hole

-the way ed is so delirious in his sadness as he pushes the cake toppers out the window. i don't even have any thoughts on that i feel like all i can do is just note it and let y'all deal with the rest

>>actually I lied, he literally watches them sink into the sea after he pushes them out the window that's so fucked up whomever made that decision to make him do that is so fucked up

-"the sea is restorative isn't it" "YYYYEEESSS QUEEN!!!!!!!!!! I'VE ALWAYS SAID SO!!!!!!!!!!!!" "ohh that guy knows" IS THE MOST UNDERRATED EXCHANGE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES IT LITERALLY HAD ME SHAKING WITH LAUGHTER

-would looooooooooooooove to know what went through stede's head as soon as roach mentioned "some place called China??" like did he immediately think of the kiss or getting sent to the naval academy or the kiss or ed's excitement at the prospect of running away together or the kiss or getting kidnapped by chauncey or the kiss or watching chauncey shoot himself in the dome or the kiss or his flop behavior of running back to his family that doesn't even want him or the kiss or

-the crew of the red flag being so immediately kind and welcoming to stede and his crew <3

-i genuinely cannot wait to watch buttons fully immerse himself in the red flag traditions like he was made to be on that crew

-"how should I put this, your energy is..." can't believe they got hatecrimed like that

-RAT BOY

-HE'S HERE

-OUR BOY IS HERE

-fun fact: i recorded my live reaction to episodes 1 - 3 and posted the clip of my friends and i reacting to lucius coming back because we were quite literally jumping for joy and crying over the reunion and THE illustrious Nathan Foad himself told me it was literally the cutest thing he's ever seen (his words, not mine!!) so we're basically best friends forever now and the rest of my life will be spent chasing the high of the happiness i felt during that interaction

-i am also crying once again over his reappearance and i think that's just gonna happen every time i watch this scene :')

-roach's shocked face when lucius appears is something that can actually be so personal

-the way they all dogpile on top of him because they're so happy to see him bitch what the FCUK

-also stede's STUPID LITTLE "huh!" LIKE??????????? THAT WAS YOUR SCRIBE AND RELATIONSHIP GURU YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER WHERE IS THE ENERGY AND EXCITEMENT AT KNOWING HE ISN'T FUCKING DEAD??????????????

-"i love it" *BIG SMOOCH* "i love all of it" *BIGGER SMOOCH* oh so they're trying to kill me by smothering me in the syrupy sweetness of their love. okay

-okay sorry but lucius's absolutely microscopic furrowing of his brow right before black pete kisses him again. for a split second he had a slight look of sadness which lines up with the very real trauma he's endured and how even in extremely happy moments they can be tinged with sadness - maybe a sadness for the past and the way things could've been if he hadn't been pushed off the boat - and all i can say is nathan foad. ur big powerful acting mind

-we gotta talk about lucius choosing not to reveal that ed had pushed him off the ship in front of the whole crew. i'm still trying to figure out if that was him trying to spare stede's feelings (unlikely considering he lets it all out later), spare black pete's feelings (possible, since he knows black pete idolizes blackbeard), prevent himself from having to relive that trauma in front of his friends when he's not prepared to confront those memories, or a combination of all of the above

-"i fell. off the ship." "that doesn't sound like you. you have impeccable balance, babe" i literally love black pete so much i may legally have to change my name to lucius spriggs

-"toouwelss? what is this? are these jobs?" stede i love you so very much to the moon and back but for the love of god you gotta shut it my guy

-I AM LITERALLY SO EXCITED FOR THE BUTTONS SEA WITCH STORY ARC LIKE IT MAY ACTUALLY BE ON PAR WITH MY EXCITEMENT TO SEE ED AND STEDE PROPERLY REUNITE AND OPENLY LOVE EACH OTHER AGAIN

-ed just. washing the door handle. i dont have any other thoughts

-GODDDDDDD HE'S SERVING SOOOOOO MUCH GENDER WITH HIS LIL HAIR BUN AND MOSTLY CLEANED UP WAR PAINT AND DANGLY EARRINGS AKEFJAPWHFA OPERGJAER

-the way frenchie looks genuinely happy for ed when he says he thinks he got all the poison out of his system and it's a new day :((

-idk much about piracy but i really don't think there's a rule about the new first mate traditionally having to kill the old first mate, i think ed just made that up so someone else would have to kill izzy instead of him. despite everything, despite how low he's sunken into the very dark parts of his mind due to the heartbreak, ed still can't bring himself to deal the killing blow

-"i expect great things from you" might be one of the more chilling lines in that interaction because for THE blackbeard to have not just any expectations from you, but GREAT expectations? that's not a compliment, that's a threat. measure up to what blackbeard thinks you should be or else

-can't comment on the amputation scene too yucky sorry

-stede trying to triangulate ed's coordinates based off of his string of crimes on a map HE drew is me trying to triangulate where tf this season is going based off of buckwild theories i've made up and used as the foundation for even more buckwild theories

-yeah idk what the mushy ass lyrics stede wrote on that map mean but i know they're frighteningly homosexual

-"FUCK YOU. that's how i am" I am SO glad lucius gets to be openly bitchy towards stede it feels like a cathartic release for me personally

-ed's fuckin "heyyyy" to frenchie in the kitchen is both hilarious and unbelievably unsettling

-absolutely obsessed with the writers for once again showing just how scarily observant and intelligent ed is when he calls frenchie out for using his right hand to mime killing izzy even though he's actually left handed

-i really admire how david chose to use a low camera angle that looks up at ed as he reveals to frenchie that he's well aware he hasn't killed izzy yet because taika's performance was already unsettling enough but that specific angle adds so much to his overall menacing presence in that scene

-joel fry's performance in the kitchen scene with ed literally makes me want to bite something he's so good at acting quietly terrified

-this is almost certainly an unpopular opinion but i really would've loved to see more buildup to jim and archie kissing. i just feel like we know NOTHING about her let alone her relationship with jim prior to the two days we've seen them interacting and i feel like that kiss would've felt like a much more satisfying payoff if we had seen more interactions between them before they got to that point. i would've taken delaying that kiss by a few episodes if it meant feeling fully invested in it once it did happen, but i also know the show already has so much material to get through (which is why we should've gotten 10 eps but i digress)

-"hey no one told me this room existed" is giving "i didn't even realize there was piracy happening"

-"take the fuckin leg" is such a perfect line delivery

-love the foreshadowing of olu explaining how the little ships on the war table were all over the place and "some of them were over land"

-roach waxing poetic about the noodles is so relatable

-"jesus christ stede keep your pants on" hands down one of the funniest fucking lucius moments of all time

-sorry but we gotta give a shout out to lucius modifying the chinese fleet uniform so it's sleeveless. the edges are cleanly done so either he was put on tailoring duty at some point and picked it up there or someone on the ship wanted to enable the slayage

-there's something to be said about the fact that the only other man who has lasted being on board the red flag ship is another member of the revenge who was picked up and welcomed into the fold well before stede and the rest of the crew wound up there. something about how stede attracts and retains other people who he can tell are gentle at heart, even if they're putting up a tough front. something about how lucius had bounced from ship to ship until he finally wound up on Zheng Yi Sao's ship where he was allowed to be himself

-"ya don't know............if ya picked up....smokin....." nathaniel buttons my beloved

-OOOOF stede's guilty face after lucius talks about how he must've picked up smoking somewhere. after the crushing guilt he already feels about the ed situation this definitely would've weighed extremely heavy on him

-MY SPICY LIL RAT BOY IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME

-"what the hell is going on in towels" wee john my beloved

-look i know izzy is on the brink of death but he genuinely looks kinda beautiful before ed wakes him up from his shock induced coma and i won't apologize for that

-"my leg" izzy is so fred rechid coded

-"it's up in leg heaven now" i need to know if ed said that as a way of metaphorically digging the knife into izzy and getting back at him for trying to force ed to send stede to doggy heaven in season 1

-i dont have the emotional capacity to dive into the ed and izzy shooting scene rn but just know it destroyed me on a metaphysical level

-"too scared to do it yourself" no because unfortunately now im thinking about ed thinking through taking his own life but coming to the realization that he can't do it. whether it's because of childhood christianity trauma and thinking he'll be sent to hell for doing so or because he knows he can't follow through with it himself if there's still a tiny shred of hope that he'll reunite with stede and everything will be okay again, he always has to outsource the big job

-also, very interesting choice to have almost jovial classical music playing in the background of the ed/izzy scene. it definitely undercut a lot of the tension compared to how supremely uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing the scene would've been if it were dead silent behind the dialogue

-"i loved you...best i could"

-"i've got an ex-wife, two messed up kids probably" LMAO stede acknowledging he would have no way of knowing how fucked up his kids are because of him

-"sounds like you're quite the fuck-up pal" "yeah, i am! and im alone! talk to pete. don't be like me" ohhhhh my god stede is in just as much agony as ed is over this breakup he's just been using his polite society social skills of saving face and never showing how truly devastated you are to others to cover up how supremely messed up he is over all of it. he is BEGGING lucius to talk to pete and NOT make the same mistakes he did because maybe if he can prevent lucius from bottling it up and actually deal with this in a healthy way he can make up for a fraction of all the hurt he's caused not only ed but lucius as well. maybe if he can get lucius to talk to pete he can absolve himself of some of the soul-crushing guilt he feels over how his actions have irreparably damaged the people he cares about the most. maybe if lucius and pete are able to work through this trauma and still come out the other side loving each other just as much or even more than they did before, he can believe that there's still hope for him and ed.

-ed choosing to put on the cravat for what he believes is going to be his last action on earth before dying because he's resigned himself to his fate but is still scared shitless by it and wants that modicum of comfort that stede will always be able to provide him no matter how badly he hurt ed is giving me the urge to find the nearest cast iron skillet and loony toons my skull

-"some people are just broken no matter what you do" noooo why do i feel like lucius was talking about himself when he said that to stede about ed ://

-oof i know they were an unnamed character but fang tried to save someone who went overboard during the storm and wasn't able to :(

-GGGOOOODDDDDDD izzy looks so fucking hot and badass all soaking wet and leaning up against the rigging after shooting ed jesus christ

-"finally" ed was so relieved to have his pain finally end. even after his journey of self discovery in the next episode im really curious how he's going to deal with having to confront the pain he thought he escaped in addition to the pain he inflicted on others while failing to cope with that pain and stopping at nothing, including nearly killing the rest of the crew, to end it

[askultimatedirk]

if not heart, what other aspect would you like to have been assigned

Really making me crack open a few textbooks, aren't you? Buckle the fuckle up, chucklefucks, this one's going to be a dissertation. I'll even be so kind as to split it off so as not to disturb your precious tumblr feed.

First of all, let's get something out of the way. I'm answering this question more in the context of what I think would fit me, not what I think would be the most useful or conducive to the grand scheme. If I were going with that idea, the answer would be Space, full stop. That's a rather undramatic and not very interesting answer, though, so instead I'm taking the initiative as usual to do what I want to do.

The first step is to eliminate some obvious choices. While Void matches my creativity and skepticism, most of it completely undermines my lust to know literally everything at all times. Life would imply that I am anything but destructive to other people, intentionally or not. Hope is laughable. I've given some thought to Blood and Breath, the prophet and the protagonist, but neither holds much weight when the rest of the aspect is considered. I'm sure a case could be made for each of these, but I will not be doing so.

Rage would be among those immediately discarded, except for the fact that inherently, the core of the aspect is destruction. While I have devoted myself now to the prospect of creation and new life, it's not a forgotten fact that destruction runs in my veins as a Prince. I would implore that you simply imagine an Ultimate Prince of Rage. Kurloz could never. However, I eventually settled on this being an impossibility due to the connection Rage shares with madness, because fuck knows I would never get anywhere if my head was full of stupid clown shit.

Another that I likely would have discarded is Light, though it holds more weight than Rage. It's the opposite of Void, the hunger of knowing all and seeing all, to understand the very fabric of the universe. Of course, a Seer of Light would be an extremely handy player to have in their Ultimate form. This ended up not going further after some speculation and pontification, mostly because Light players are heavily associated with water and absolutely fuck the ocean.

I'm sure you expected Doom to be on this list, and it is. Fate's chosen sufferers and all that. A Prince would turn this notion inside out, the essence of self-destruction and fatalistic overwhelming. It's funny, really, the fact that I could just as easily been assigned as a Doom player if one were needed. Sacrifice and judgement are also two words reminiscent of myself, of course. In actuality, though, I don't have the social skills or empathy to stick it out as a Doom player. It wouldn't come off right.

I've already mentioned Space, of course, so let me get a little further into that. Without defaulting to the obvious point of Space players pulling the strings for extremely long periods of time without needing to make this information known, I find the power and responsibility to be something that not only would I be able to handle, but I would most likely be given in any session spawning a Space player. It's all about delayed gratification and understanding that while the little things may not be important to others, and they may not even be important now, they will absolutely be important later and should go correctly the first time. Unfortunately, Space players have a strong connection with life and I don't see that fitting in with me, or a Prince at all for that matter.

So now we get down to my two choices - surprise, I won't be making a concrete decision between these two.

Let's go with the obvious first, Mind. While it might seem counterintuitive to even consider the counterpart of my current aspect, given that each pair are generally complete opposites, I've come to the conclusion that Mind is something I've already quite often affiliated myself with. It may speak to my nature that I have done my best to conquer the shortcomings that being a Heart player naturally gifted me with, but I am a planner, a thinker, and a decision maker. Logic is core to my person. The only reason I'm not entirely certain about this one is because of the sense of justice that Terezi has bled all over the understanding of the aspect itself, but that's not concrete and may in fact not be an issue.

Lastly, of course we have to consider Time. I respect Dave, but if I were to borrow his aspect, I don't doubt for a second I wouldn't give it back. While I believe Space powers are more helpful for what I'm currently looking to do, Time powers would be my personal choice. It's true that time-hopping takes a toll and briefly causes chaos, but with the proper setup and someone who actually understands the fabric of time from the get-go, it's extremely powerful. Not only that, but the aspect itself suits me as well. Goal-focused and a problem-solver, struggling because everything needs to be just the way I want it to be. The issue is again the empathy, but that's not a core part of being a Time player.

So to conclude, I think either Mind or Time would fit me quite well. Not as well as Heart, of course, which is why I believe I'll stick with that, but this hypothetical scenario was fun and interesting to write a little essay for. Have fun analyzing it.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Hiiiii!!!

The Hindi songs guy again (salaamat recommendation, if "Hindi songs guy" is too vague)! Firstly, thanks for telling the name of the song, I listened to it and *sighs* it was them!

Secondly, i didn't know you were from India too! Got to know some days ago from your posts, and then just read your post when you were drunk and telling about India. And I fully agree, it was accurate (and as a North Indian, I'm sorry for the racism🙊). And I'm also sorry about the transphobia and every other awfulness you might've experienced. I love youuuu (sorry if this is too weird🙆🏻‍♂️). Also, the career prospects thing was 100% true: I was 'supposed' to become a doctor, but I had taken science just coz i liked it, and then there was a three years long tragic battle against doctor as a career, and then finally after a failed suicide attempt, I was able to choose English Literature, and things are only now (5 years after the fact) looking better....sooooo I guess your fears about college are totally valid but it will be better, you'll meet great people and learn so much beautiful stuff and create sooo many brilliant thingss! Again, I love youuu (and again, sorry if all of it is too much info, too weird, I'm just...weirdly emotional, idk why)

Thirdly, I really like your name! Asmi is a beautifullll nameee!

Fourthly, sorryy for the long and weird ask, just... I'm glad to know someone else from India here, who's also a Good Omens fan and evidently a lovely person. Sooo lots of long tight hugss!

Lastly, sorry for all the sorrys, and you can totally ignore this if it's uncomfortable or anything (if you couldn't tell by the sorrys, I'm super self-conscious, so thanks for the anonymous option)

Love and hugss, and best of luck for college, for your art, and life in general!❤️

Hey anon maggot! I'm so happy you listened to the song and loved it.

And thank you so much for sharing this with me. It's awful that you had to go through all of that, and I'm so proud of you for surviving. I spent three years preparing for medicine too (11th and 12th year, which caused me to fall sick and miss the NEET test, so I took a gap year etc) and I really did want it. Well, I thought I did. It was more that I didn't think I had any other choice.

TW: explicit mentions of transphobia and disregard and discrimination on the basis of mental health below. Skip the below paragraph if you need to.

I'm glad you're doing better. Yeah, I am not looking forward to college. I know there will be fun parts and all. But I had a go at college for three months back in August, and despite it being very liberal and open and stuff in theory, I had to drop out because the entire student body was isolating me because of my mental health and things my ex-roommate had said about me, and a lot of transphobia from the admin too. When I went to the dean and told her I felt unsafe and the environment was horrible, she told me to stop being so self-absorbed (and then denied she said that the next day to my parents). Luckily after the whole medical ordeal my parents had learned to listen to me and they helped me leave.

I will try again. It's just that it's... disheartening. That was design school, too, just like my next college will be. And I really did try my best. It's weird thinking about all that stuff because Tumblr and you maggots have kind of, well, healed it in a way, and given me such a safe space here that it feels unbelievable that the real world could be so, so fucking shite. Apologies for the vent here, but I do want to be honest, and I want everyone who's faced the same thing to know that they're not alone. Because I know so many people, too many, who've been there.

Thank god for Good Omens and you all. For the ridiculous amount of support and love and joy I've got here. It's easier to forget about all of it for a while when I focus on Crowley's pouts and Aziraphale smiling and making you all laugh.

And hey, you have nothing to feel sorry for. I'm so grateful to you for taking the time to write this. I love you too, anon maggot, so very much. Take all the tight hugs right back. I'm so proud of you for fighting for the future you wanted and deserved. I know it's not easy, both to fight with your internalised doubt and the others.

I'm so proud.

Good luck.

All the love, Asmi

[saraminia]

Hereunder I express some bitchy opinions about our beloved Schitt's Creek so take that as your "dead dove do not open" if negativity is not something you wish to see.

@njwoman (I dare to tag you cause I'm sure you can handle opinions even if they don't align with yours.) You brought up the concept of SC supposedly being "sexually progressive" and I didn't want to hijack your post. So these are my thoughts on SC being "sexually progressive".

Yeah pfft it was never sexually progressive. We never once even saw David and Patrick shirtless together or doing anything sexually suggestive either. It was progressive in a way that Dan made it very sex positive in a sense that David was very open to having sex with anybody basically. In fact, and I have said this before, and it is basically my only beef with sc, the three times we see David shirtless and/or having or just having had sex is with someone other than Patrick. Also the fact that he fucks his pos ex and thus basically gives him exactly what he wanted, is somehow supposed to be a win for David. Yeah I don't know. Sure, if that's sexually progressive, then yeah, but we were left wondering if David and Patrick even ever had any sex at all. The one sex joke between them is also David jokingly declining sex. But sure, they were ready and eager to fuck Jake. Wish we'd seen that kind of enthusiasm from them for having sex with each other. I mean their love is very soft and supportive and accepting and all the fluffy things, but would it have hurt to give it some passion as well. Surely they could have fit in a few scenes or jokes about their sex life. Hell, they didn't even cuddle while sleeping smh. And I don't mean they should have had a full on sex scene. That's not the expectation here. But they clearly could and did make sex references and jokes and suggestive scenes so are we supposed to believe there was no opportunity to bring that into David and Patrick's relationship. Sure, in the beginning of season four which was right at the beginning of their relationship, there was that one suggested make out at the store, but after that nothing. Idk maybe their first night together was such a disaster that they just decided to never have sex again with each other. Maybe that's why they were so excited about the prospect of bringing Jake into their bed. Cause they needed a third to be able to stand each other in bed. Okay, obviously I'm not serious about this, but it does make you wonder. Also none of this is that deep anyway. It's just a tv show that I do love with all my heart.... well mostly....

[thebarefootking]

I know I just sent you an ask about despe/hiromu, but if you're still taking requests can I get your thoughts on douki too? I too adore this little gremlin man, and I adore the way you write about wrestling.

I have been beating my head against the wall for DAYS, trying to figure out how to answer this ask. I got so stressed out over my own inequality to the task that I had an unsatisfactory dream about meeting Douki (in full ring gear) on public transportation, where we had a painfully awkward and brief social encounter. None of this is your fault, nonny. I appreciate being made to think. Douki is just fucking confusing, I have lots of feelings about him, he's my Favorite of Favorites, and I genuinely just don't know what to write or where to start. I'm going to give it a solid try, though. Please forgive my tardiness, and enjoy these three songs that inevitably give me Douki feels.

----------------------------------- Sometimes in life, there is no sensible avenue to your destination. Sometimes, the most reasonable route between point A and point B is a freefall. Although I am no longer practicing, I spent my entire childhood and youth in an environment that prioritised, over and above everything else, religious faith and the mystical experience thereof. I am also in possession of a brain with both bipolar and adhd. These facts combine to form a person deeply prone to perceiving meaning, intention, and importance in places where others do not -- and, sometimes, to acting impulsively on these perceptions. Is it any surprise that such a person would find resonance in a character like Douki? Douki, who attests that everything has meaning? Douki, who responded to rejection by hauling ass to a different continent, with no prospects, no money, and no ability to speak the local language. Douki, who returned to Japan with the intention of kicking Jun Kasai's ass -- by showing up to a deathmatch entirely unarmed, even his teeth covered by his mask. Douki, with the anger of a martyr and the patience of a thief. Until suddenly... that's not quite right at all. Douki, whose greatest wrestling strength is -- not his unique and experimental moveset, not his stylised presentation, not even his commitment, but -- his absolute gameness. His readiness to, at the drop of a hat (even, I have my suspicions from watching him closely, when he is working injured -- though I wish he had both the ability and willingness to not fucking do that; this Moose's heart can't take that shit), to 'yes-and' the hell out of whatever he is given.

Oh? You beefed it on your finisher? You're gonna do something batshit off the top rope to distract everyone? Sure, I'll catch you with my smaller, wobbling, clearly injured body which is currently incapable of performing even my most familiar moves with any amount of grace. We'll make it look cool as hell! Nobody will even notice that you botched the most important move of the match -- and if they do, now they can't say a fucking word about it without sounding like an asshole. Oh? My old training buddy from Mexico just returned from his second major injury in three years? He needs to look badass to prove he's recovered and like his old self for now so that people question it less when he gradually changes his style to something that will keep him in the business longer? Bet. We know each other in the ring like butter knows toast. We can both bring it. ... 'Barricade'? What's that? And so on. Every damn time. If you give him something to work with, he will spin it into gold. This has the unfortunate downside of making his matches a little hit-or-miss; if his chemistry with his opponent or partner is bad or if they give him little to work with, he frequently fails to deliver -- creativity and impulsivity are traits of his, but pure initiative in the ring is something he seems to struggle with, at times (though I note he's getting better, and some of this deficit is apparent only, and due to questionable booking). (Jesus, that sentence got away from me.) Of course Douki appeals to me. He has an unassailable faith. Perhaps it's Minoru Suzuki's 'faith in the future' he once ascribed to the man who would become El Desperado -- perhaps something more enigmatic. I have a hard time sussing out exactly what is going on in Douki's head at any given moment, and he often does things that surprise me, in a way that someone like Despe usually does not. (Example: 07/01/2023 in CMLL when Douki let his teammate Zandokan Jr. shake him around by the skull, and his response appeared to be utter delight. What even was that? I think Zando's the best thing since sliced bread, and even I'd probably be pretty damn unsettled if he grabbed me from behind by the cranium and started shaking. And afaik, that was their first time working together. Fucking weird vibes that whole match.) (I need more of that shit, actually.) Douki's a hard read for me in general, so I'm not confident in my assessment, on this one. But it feels like he has faith in the process. Probably not in the future, maybe not in himself, and certainly not in the system. He has faith in the process of life, in the journey, in the getting-there. And that's why there's no one better at throwing himself into a freefall when necessary than Douki. He knows how to build his wings on the way down, and he's done it a thousand times before. (Tbh, I think Hiromu learned more than just the physics of the Douki Bomb from him. I think he might have gleaned enough of the philosophy to greatly ease his path.)