#thought I'd barely get 1000 words and give up

[alphabetboyluvr]

LANDSLIDES - 002 | GUILTY AS SIN - JJK

part title credit: guilty as sin - taylor swift

these fatal fantasies giving way to laboured breath... they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly... without ever touching his skin how can i be guilty as sin?

pairing: officeworker!jungkook x female reader (coworkers)

premise: jungkook asks you to dog sit over chuseok. he doesn’t ask you to steal the empty spaces in his head, the dreams he’s yet to have, nor the idea of you always just being ‘you’ to him - and yet, like a thief in the night (with his own damn dog as your accomplice), you do. (part one link)

warnings: slow burn (emphasis on slow, emphasis on burn), miscommunication, missed opportunities, missing jungkook, inappropriate mentions of masturbation between friends, frustration (sexually and emotionally!)

wordcount: 18K

note from holly: this was supposed to be a 30k chunk but the 1000 paragraph limit told me no </3 so instead, this is part 1 - part 2 will come tomorrow :)

minors dni // cross posted to wattpad

When Jungkook comes to stand by your desk, his freshly pressed suit unspoiled from his morning commute and with a coffee in either hand, you know he must be up to something.

"Let me guess," you hum. "You dipped your nib in the company ink again and need me to do damage control?"

It wouldn't be the first time, and the new secretary has been ogling him ever since she started just before the Chuseok break. You've joked about it a few times, but you really wouldn't put it past him.

Popping your coffee on your desk, Jungkook toys with his tie a little, smoothing it down. "Why do you always think so little of me, you little gremlin?"

His pouty whine would be believable if you didn't know him as well as you do. Glancing up from your screen, you're greeted with a smirk. Even he can't keep up his pretence of innocence. "You know exactly why."

"I'm a good boy," he promises. "Got you coffee and everything this morning!"

"Because you want something," you laugh. "I wasn't born yesterday, Jungkook."

"Can a friend not get a friend a coffee just because?"

"Yes—but you don't."

In fact, Jungkook normally waits until midday for his first coffee. Treats it like a reward for getting through the morning without any caffeine. He's gone out of his way today—or just ordered coffee to the office to make it look like he has. Regardless, an effort has been made.

He takes a second. Purses his lips. Narrows his eyes.And then he smiles. "Fine. I need a favour."

"See, I knew it was too good to be true!"

"Oh, c'mon!" He laughs. "I'd get you coffee if you asked."

"I asked last week when I was running late, and you told me to wake up earlier and get it myself!"

"Well, it was your own fault for being out until arse o'clock in the morning!"

Your fault, you think but don't vocalise. It's not like you'd been out with him. You'd been on a date. Another with Mingyu. Hadn't stuck to your word of cooling things off. Spooked yourself with those dreams about Jungkook. Needed to bring yourself back to reality.

If he hadn't asked you to dogsit, you never would have gotten so caught in the domestication of it all. It's your biggest weakness and he damn well knows it. If anything, he should be thanking you for choosing to realign your focus instead of leaning into silly little thoughts about him. It also helps that in the cold, harsh light of Monday mornings, the thoughts just make you cringe more than anything.

"Sorry, Dad," you roll your eyes. "Didn't realise I had to ask your permission."

Jungkook's lips purse in the gentlest of ways, corners upturning ever so slightly. He shakes his head. "You're cranky this morning."

"And you're up to something," you reply. Have barely even had a chance to look over your weekend emails yet, let alone prepare yourself for Jungkook being a nuisance. His department is two floors up. There's no need for him to be here.

In the corner of your screen, an email pings through. Though your glance is quick, it connects a flurry of dots together.

Subject: International Food Expo - we're in!

The company you work at is the head office of a chain restaurant. Jungkook works in franchising—negotiations, specifically. Gets the restaurant placed in the best locations. Recently landed a spot in Starfield Mall. Got himself a nice little bonus.

You're over in the interior design team. It's a small cohort, just three of you, but you're responsible for ensuring cohesion amongst all the spaces. It's up to you that customers get the same feel whether they're in Seoul or Sokcho.

Both starting the job at the same time, directly after graduation, Jungkook had approached you with a strategy in mind. Roped you into creating the interior mood boards and mapping out the spaces before they'd even been acquired. Gave life to them that made it so much easier for investors to imagine.

It had been seen by management as a waste of resources before then—why waste time creating hypotheticals?

They just hadn't yet experienced Jungkook, and all of his charm, pitching for them, using your content to tip negotiations in his favour. It's a partnership that works. Is a practice now adopted by the company across the board, thanks to the pair of you. It's why you work together so often, even if you're on completely different floors and dealing with such vastly different tasks.

"I've been asked to go along," he says, nodding towards the screen. "Little old me is our brand ambassador for the week."

"Congrats," you beam, knowing that Jungkook is the best man for the job. He loves the company. Really believes in the restaurant. Clicking into the email, you scan the details. "A week of schmoozing, huh? However will you cope?"

He's about to joke about how tiresome it'll be, but then you hum in confusion.

"Jeju?" You question, looking at the location. You scroll, just to check you aren't imagining things—but there it is, clear as day. Location: International Conference Center, Jeju. "All the way in bloody Jeju?!"

"It's for international markets," he says, putting his best guess out there. "Seoul's been done a hundred times over for different Expos. Busan, too. I think they're trying to attract more foreign companies—and would the CEO's rather send themselves on city breaks or island getaways? Anyway, that's actually the favour I wanted to ask you..."

It all sort of clicks into place, now. "Bam?"

With a sweet nod, Jungkook offers a gentle smile. "You know there's no one I'd rather look after him. The trip is four days, Tuesday to Friday. If it's too much, I can book him into a kennel, but—"

"No," you shake your head. "Don't do that. You know I'm happy to look after him."

"Sure?"

Jungkook would rather die than leave Bam at a Kennel for the week. He doesn't trust anyone with his baby unless they've proved themselves, but the way you happily cuddle up with Bam on the floor of Jungkook's apartment on any given day of the week is proof enough to him that you love him, too.

If he's gonna trust anyone with his most prized possession, it'd be you.

"One condition," you bargain, 'cause you know that you can. Jungkook'll do anything to have you agree.

"Go on..."

"Have you replaced all the cheese I ate last time I looked after him?"

He narrows his eyes. "Yes."

"Good," you beam. "And could you be a babe and make me some of your pad kee mao? The sauce at least? I can do the rest."

If there's one thing Jungkook will never fail to impress you with, it's his cooking—but your favourite of all of his dishes is his Thai drunken chicken noodles. He imports the special basil needed for it. Goes an extra mile to make sure it's just right. You haven't been to your favourite Thai place since you learned just how well he makes the dish. Will just send him a text when you fancy it, and end up at his place an hour or so later with beers from the convenience store and ice cream sandwiches to chuck in his freezer for dessert.

"That it?" He laughs. "Cheese and noodles? God, you are easily pleased."

"I'm a woman of refined tastes," you say, pompously poised.

Jungkook knows you well enough to know you're no such thing, but he needs this favour, so he doesn't bite. Just says, "And you're sure?"

"I'm sure," you promise. "Now leave me alone. I've got work to do—and thanks for the coffee."

He nods, that little smile of his affecting you far more than it really should. You can't help it. The lighting in your office is far nicer than the rest of the establishment. Makes him look... well, makes him look like himself. Like 'home' Jungkook. The same one who hangs out with you in sweats and messy hair on Sunday mornings, not the suited and clean-shaven Jungkook who swaggers through the corridors of your workplace.

Three of you work in your specific office, and you're all interior designers. Changing the bulbs was one of the first things you did. Lea, your manager, is the most senior in your team. Below you is Jiwon. A fresh graduate, she's still learning the ropes, and as much as you like her, you really wish she wouldn't go all heart-eyed over Jungkook every time he enters the room.

It's not her fault. The warm bulbs just bring out all of those terrible, intrusive little stars in his chocolatey brown eyes. They're terrible, 'cause they're stolen from other people; intrusive, 'cause as he walks away and your gaze follows him, it seems like they've landed in your eyes, too. A secret shared that neither of you even realises exists.

"How do you do it?" Jiwon sighs once Jungkook is out of earshot. "I'd melt if he looked at me like that."

"He looks at everyone like that," you deflect. "And trust me, he's just as disgusting as he is charming. Don't let the tailored suits fool you."

It's been a little while since Jungkook last used the copier room for indecent affairs that would have gotten anyone else into a meeting with HR. Workplace violations are far easier to get away with when you're doing them with someone from the HR department, after all.

Jiwon joined the team just as Jungkook was curbing his bad behaviour. Granted, you know about more of it than most, but everyone who was lucky enough to grab his attention for more than five seconds used it as bragging rights for months.

One thing that you did enjoy about Jungkook's slut era was the lack of women he ever took home. Didn't want to introduce new people to Bam, if they were only going to be fleeting endeavours.

But you're his friend, not a casual fuck. He knew that bringing you into the fold wouldn't be fast nor fleeting. It'd be a lifetime kinda thing.

Which is what makes you feel so guilty as you stand by the water cooler a little later that morning, daydreaming about being back in his space again. Silly little thoughts about facetime calls when you were wrapped up in his sheets, and he was back at his parents' place in Busan. Memories of lazing the days away with Bam, and the look on Jungkook's face as he finally arrived home after a few days away.

You've seen him at home a million times over, but there was something different about him then. Serene. At peace. You know that he was probably just happy to be back with his baby, and tired from driving, but the lazy smile that had hung off his lips, round glasses framing his equally round eyes, just seemed... new.

Your thoughts are cut off by your boss—not Lea, but your actual boss, Mr Seo—calling you into his office. A little flustered, you realise that you've been running the water for too long. Your bottle has overfilled, and the excess tray is almost full, too.

"Hi," you greet him all rather pleasantly, waiting to be told to sit before you actually do so. "What can I help you with?"

A burly man in his late 50s, he built the brand from the ground up. It's been his life's work, and so he's selective with his staff. If you aren't pulling your weight to make the company a success, then he doesn't want you tying your name to it.

When you and Jungkook started going rogue in the early days, he hadn't been happy—but Jungkook had blagged a probation extension for the pair of you. Had told Mr Seo he'd work for free, if he could just prove his strategy would work.

In the version of events Jungkook tells you, he pretends that Mr Seo agreed without docking his pay. Filed away in the back of his cabinet which houses his contracts, past and present, Jungkook has a written agreement with Mr Seo, and a month's worth of missing wages in his salary from that year.

Your pay was never docked, though. Jungkook's a damn good negotiator, and was just as competent back then, too. He was the one that got you into that damn mess in the first place, so it was only fair that he keep you as clean as he could.

What you do know is that you both cut it incredibly fine to losing your jobs before they ever really began. While Mr Seo respects you both for what you've done for the company since then, it still scares you a little bit.

"I trust you've seen the email regarding the Expo, yes?" He says, nodding towards the chair on the opposite side of his desk.

You take it in a hurried fashion, quickly sitting down because, quite frankly, it feels like your legs are jelly. "Yes, yes. Very exciting! I'm sure Jungkook will bring the company great results."

He nods. Agrees. "And I also trust you've been making plans for our stand?"

You learned of the expo approximately fifty minutes prior. Like fuck have you made any plans.

"Oh, of course!" You bullshit. "As long as we can work out the logistics with shipping our materials to the island in time, it should be brilliant."

How the fuck you're supposed to plan a stand at an Expo for a week's time on a different bloody island is beyond you.

You'll get it done. You always do. You'll just be incredibly stressed about it until the event begins.

"Naturally," he nods. I know the turnaround is tight, so we'd like you to go with Jungkook to oversee the preparations. He arrives on Tuesday, but the event doesn't start until Wednesday evening, so you'll have a day to finalise things."

"Oh," you say, unable to hide your surprise.

"Flight and accommodation will be covered by us, and Jungkook's getting a healthy bonus for any deals signed at the Expo—I'm sure we can make a cut for you, too. After all, you two are our very own dream team."

You take a moment to gather your thoughts. You want to go. Of course you want to. A trip to Jeju with one of your closest friends? Under the guise of work? All expenses paid? Who wouldn't want to go?!

But without you in the city, there's no one to look after Bam. Sure, Jungkook could take him to a kennel, but you know what he's like. He'll spend the entire time stressed. Won't be able to relax and engage with people in such a way that deals will be cut. Punters usually like him for his carefree nature. Without it? Well, you're sure they'd like him all the same, but you don't want to tempt fate.

"Mr Seo," you awkwardly begin, uncertain which answer will slip out of your mouth. "I'm afraid I already have commitments in the city that I can't cancel. I'm not available."

Silence lingers for a moment. Just a second. It feels like an eternity.

"Very well," he accepts.

"I'm sorry," you quickly apologise, knowing that you probably look like an ungrateful employee. If there's one thing you are, it's a fixer, and so before you can even comprehend what you're saying, you're throwing solutions into the void. "But I know Jiwon is just itching to get more involved with different sides of the business. I can get her on board with my planning this week and coach her on Jungkook's strategies. I'm sure she'd be eager to work hard, if she were given the opportunity."

Mr Seo mulls over your proposition—one of you which you already regret—then nods. "Alright. I'll trust your judgement. Can you send her down to my office?"

"Sure!" You say with a little too much glee, before you retreat back to your office with your tail between your legs. Lea is at a meeting, so once Jiwon has been sent on her way, it's just you, your water bottle, and a whole lot of regret.

Laying your head on your desk, you let out a little whimper.

It's for the best. For the company, for Jungkook, for you. For the sanctity of your friendship. For your sanity.

A message dinging through on your work chat interrupts your self-pity party. Glancing up, head still on the desk, you see Jungkook's name in the corner of your screen.

Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: oi you little gremlin

Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: i could have booked him into a kennel

"Shut up," you groan at your screen.

Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: it would have been fun :(

Sitting up with a sigh, you poise yourself to send a message back. Find that nothing wants to come out. Your fingers hover above your keyboard with uncertainty. Takes a full minute before you can muster anything up.

Two floors above you, Jungkook is slumped in his desk chair. Has an office of his own, 'cause it's easier for the amount of meetings he has.

In the background of his screen, an email thread with Mr Seo details how Jungkook was the one to ask Mr Seo if you could join him. Explained how it just made sense. Offered part of his bonus package up with it. Said he'd cover the extra expenses if necessary, but that he thought it would be beneficial to the company to have you there, too.

While you're the person Jungkook trusts the most with Bam, you're not the only one. He could always ask Jimin or Taehyung before resorting to a kennel.

As your reply comes through, another email from Mr Seo is delivered, too.

RE: IFE JEJU, Interior Des. Department

Jungkook—

Have spoken with Jiwon. She will accompany you.

Any problems, let me know.

Mr Seo

With a sigh, Jungkook shakes his head. This isn't what he wanted at all.

And when he checks your message, he only frowns even deeper. Unlike you, he's renamed your contact details on his list. Everyone else still has their work-focused username.

Gremlin: It's your lucky day

Gremlin: You get a hot young thing to keep you company instead, wooo

Gremlin: HR if you're reading this, ignore it

Gremlin: Try not to be too miserable without me

He sinks down a little further into his chair. Purses his lips. Would far rather be alone than with anyone that isn't you.

Chewing on his bottom lip, he decides that maybe this is for the best. While he does think it would be good for the company, he knows that isn't why he suggested it. He just remembers what happened last time he spent more than a weekend away from you. Is scared it'll happen again.

Or maybe it's the opposite. Maybe he wants it to happen again. Just you and him, away from the confines of life as you know it.

Thing is, you'd have to return home at some point. If anything ever happened between you both, it'd change the very fabric of your friendship. He doesn't want that.

So instead, he decides to reply in the same way he would have done maybe a year or so prior.

Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: She'll fall in love with me

Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: They always do

Jeon Jungkook, Franchising: Don't say I didn't warn you.

In the warm lighting of Jungkook's living room, the main light is off, lamps providing you with just enough clarity to go over the files on his coffee table.

Over by the sink, Jungkook is washing up your plates from dinner, while Bam leans against his legs. Your overnight bag is still by the door, and Jungkook's glasses are in your hair, keeping it out of your eyes. Highlighter in hand, you're picking out key markets for Jungkook to make contact with over in Jeju.

"Avoid Babiyeo," you tell him, switching over to a thin red pen, putting a star next to their name.

"As in the leisure centres?" Jungkook hums, familiar with the company but not well-versed. The soft melody of his playlist carries a tune around you both, keeping your thoughts connected and in sync.

"Mhmm," you say, flicking over to the next paper. "The CEO's son is in legal trouble at the moment. They're keeping it fairly well covered up, but to do that they're making huge expansions they can't afford. Keeping the news positive, things like that. I reckon they'll go bust before the end of the year."

"Shit," Jungkook lets a breathy laugh escape his lips. Had no idea—but you've both got friends working in various industries. Have your arms dipped into numerous grapevines. Drying up the last of his bowls, he turns to face you and is unable to continue on with his words.

He gets it. Understands why domestication is your biggest vice when it comes to feeling things you shouldn't.

"Acorn Limited are also bad news," you add, putting a little star next to their name.

"Yeah?"

Jungkook puts the now-dry bowl on the counter and walks towards where you're sitting on his living room floor. He joins. Sits on the opposite side of the table. Lets Bam clamber over his legs, and encourages him to sit, too.

"Yeah," you nod, then look across at Jungkook. "They're a hot-shot protein company. Are trying to get themselves partnerships with different restaurants. The guy running it is some twat from Singles Inferno. Company'll be done by the next quarter."

"Some of them do alright, y'know. Reality stars are raking it in—"

"He's besties with the Babiyeo CEO's son," you tell him with a knowing smile. "Kept getting pictured together outside clubs. Whatever baby Babiyeo has been up to, I'm willing to bet the acorn guy has been, too."

Jungkook presses his lips together. Accepts your expertise. Nods, then sighs, "You should be coming on the trip. I can't do this without you."

Yes, he can. He's more than capable. Has closed more deals than most people have had hot dinners.

What he means is that he doesn't want to do it without you, but admitting such a thing verges on territory that Jungkook doesn't feel comfortable entering.

In the house he likes to call his mind, he's bolted the door of the annexe. Occasionally, he will sit and stare at the locks. Wonder if maybe he made a mistake locking you—or more specifically, the idea of you—away in there.

But then he watches Bam choose to shuffle around to your side of the coffee table, and watches as he rests his head on your leg. His snout is by your knee, sniffing at your bare skin with his wet nose. There's something familiar about you. Safe. You don't smell like Jungkook, but you still manage to smell like home, in a way.

"Bam would be even more lost without me," you softly say, scratching behind his ear, and it does admittedly give Jungkook a little solace.

"True," Jungkook accepts, then sighs.

It's getting late and he's got to be up early for his flight. Is leaving for his flight at just gone 3AM, so you're staying over. Crashing on the couch, 'cause having a home gym was more important than setting up a spare room. Thankfully you've never known a couch to be so cosy. Have fallen asleep on it a dozen times over, and it's yet to make you ache in the mornings.

It's all very normal, how you set into a routine. He lets you wash up first. Sorts out Bam while you sort out yourself. Doesn't need to, but writes you out a list of feeding times and emergency numbers. Grabs a spare blanket—one Bam hasn't slept on, but by the morning definitely will have—and turns the sofa into something that really does resemble a bed.

"Sure you're gonna be alright out here?" He asks when you come back through.

He ignores the teeny tiny shirt and even tinier shorts you like to call pyjamas. Or at least he does as much as he can. Doesn't mean to look at your ass. Does it regardless. Four times.

"Yeah," you promise, grabbing a bottle of water from his fridge. There are containers full of his speciality noodle sauce and enough cheese to keep you very happy for the next few days. He got an extra block of the one he knows you like the most as a thank you. "Go to bed. Get your beauty sleep, uggers."

"Hey, you need it just as much as I do," he assures you, then tips his head and makes a small click with his tongue. "C'mon, Bammie, bedtime."

The sound of his paws tapping across Jungkook's hardwood floors is ever-so-soothing. It's hard to be in a house with a pet and not inherently feel like home, you think.

"Night night, Bammie," you coo after him. He turns back. Tilts his head, just like his daddy. Trots on over to you for a few more scratches behind his ears. Doesn't leave until you tell him, "Go find your daddy."

Glancing up to Jungkook with a sweet little scrunch of your nose, you hadn't called him that name to take the piss for a change. The scrunch of your nose is actually an outward display of your inward cringe. Jungkook just scrunches his up right back.

"Gross," he whispers, then holds his hand out for Bam to sniff. "Night, Gremlin."

"Night, Kook."

The sharp sound of Bam's bark snaps you awake. The room is dark, but enough light bleeds in through the blinds for you to see Jungkook awkwardly trying to shush him. Rucksack slung over one shoulder, he's holding a bag with his other hand.

"Leaving without saying bye?" You sleepily mumble, rubbing at your eyes with a yawn.

"Didn't wanna wake you," he whispers. Bam, apparently, had different ideas. "He knows I'm leaving."

"What time is it?" you ask, still totally out of it.

"Just gone three," Jungkook says. It'll take him an hour to get across to Incheon, and even though he knows it won't take him much time to get through security, he still likes to be on time. Would have been easier if he was flying from Gimpo, but he's guessing Incheon must have been cheaper.

Nodding, you adjust your body to sit up, and reach out for one of the files on the coffee table. Hold it across for him.

Popping down his bags, Jungkook takes it with great interest.

"Here. I was having a think before bed. Did a little research on an American company that's gonna be at the Expo. Their head marketer has shares in a bunch of baseball-related companies. Get pally with him," you mumble, thoughts not really cognitive, but you've written it all down for him regardless. "Talk to him about the K-league, or something, I dunno. I reckon Mr Seo would shit his pants if we expanded into stadiums and sports venues."

Jungkook flicks over the notes. Nods. Doesn't know how the fuck you manage to find out half the shit you do, but knows you're wasted on the interior design department.

"See," he softly whines. "This is why you should be coming with me."

"You'll be fine," you promise him, then yawn a little bit all over again. You woke up at the worst possible time.

"You can take my bed, y'know," Jungkook offers. "I'll be gone in a minute or so. It's all yours."

Would be weird getting into his bed while it's still warm, you think.

Shaking your head, terribly covering a yawn, you insist it's fine. He begs to differ, so you double down—until all very suddenly, your notes are tossed onto the sofa beside you, and Jungkook is pulling you over his shoulder. Yelping from the surprise, you don't have time to cognitively respond, let alone demand to be put down.

He wouldn't listen anyways. Instead, he walks you across to his room, and tosses you down on his half-made bed. It's a little haphazard, he finds himself leaning a little too far forward. Almost ends up on there with you. Finds that his blood pumps just a little faster through his veins for a nanosecond.

God, he wishes he wasn't leaving.

Or that you were coming with him, at least.

Can't bear to tear himself away from you when you're all sleepy and sweet and—Oh get a grip, man.

"There," he says triumphantly, pushing his thoughts well out of reach. "Now, go back to sleep, alright? I'll let you know when I fly."

Sitting up on your heels, you find yourself unsure of how to say goodbye—and so you don't really say much at all. Just mumble, "Fly safe."

"Will do," he nods, then exits his room to give Bam a farewell that is just as rough and tumble as yours had been. "Be good for the gremlin, Bammie."

"Fuck off!" You call through, knowing that you'll forever be known as a gremlin, even on your deathbed, you're sure. Tucking yourself under his duvet, you're secretly comforted by how warm his bed still is. Smells just like him, too. "Bye Kook."

"Sleep tight!"

With that, the door slams shut, and everything feels a little colder. Bam whines by the door. Scratches at it a little. Begs for Jungkook to come home.

"Bammie," you call through. "C'mere!"

The way he excitedly bounds through Jungkook's apartment and jumps up onto the bed is borderline comical. He's not used to people being in the house after Jungkook goes out. Thought he was alone—but now he knows he's not, he's quite content. Nuzzles his snout into the duvet and flops his body down on yours. Doesn't realise he's not still a puppy, but you don't mind.

Moments like these make you realise that you definitely did make the right decision.

But moments that come a little later fill you with regret—like the picture that is sent to the office by Jungkook on the work messenger. Working hard or hardly working? He captions it.

The photo is of the booth that's been set up to look like a beach house version of the restaurant. The intention was for it to look like a 'Jeju' branch, of which you're yet to open— but it looks bloody fantastic. How you were able to wrangle contractors and suppliers in such a last-minute rush was nothing short of a miracle.

And yet—

Good work guys!

Wow, looks great!

Jungkook and Jiwon, doing us proud!

Dream team! Good luck!

It's that last one that really bothers you. Dream team. Exactly what you and Jungkook have always been called in the office—but you're easily replaced, apparently. It's your own fault. You're the one who said she should go instead.

It doesn't stop you from walking around with a face of thunder for the whole day. Not a scrap of work gets done. All you can do is lament your choices.

Still, you get to go home to Bam, and that does admittedly soften the blow.

"Show me him," Jungkook immediately whines when he calls later that evening.

You shake your head. "Tell me about the day first."

"That's so not fair."

"Quicker you tell me, quicker I show–"

"Fine," he scowls at you, but softens his expression almost immediately. Yawns. His shoulders press up to his ears as the rest of his face scrunches up. He's lying down on his hotel bed, the crisp white sheets not too dissimilar from his ones back home that you'll be curled up in later that night. "The set up was fine. Most of the vendors are here already. I'm so mad we didn't manage to snag a slot in the catering tent, yanno? Give people a chance to try our menu, but whatever. There's always next year, right?"

"Right," you nod. Yawn, too—and then adorably so does Bam. "It's our first year there. We're just making our presence known. Bigger and better things next year."

"Exactly. Now show me Bam."

His impatience makes you smile. You're just about to tap the switch camera icon, when a sweet, feminine voice echoes through your speaker.

"Did you say something, Jungkook?"

He glances over the sound of the voice, and then flicks his eyes back to you. Gets a read on your face as quickly as he can before you flip the camera, 'cause you're not really sure how much your face is giving away, but you know your surprise wasn't hidden.

"Er, no," he says to the girl. "Just checking in back home—"

"Oh, is that your puppy?" the voice, of which you know all too well, squeals. There's a slight ruffle of sheets as Jiwon tucks herself beside Jungkook. Hair a little damp, the straps of her top are loose against her skin. "Oh my gosh, isn't he the sweetest."

"Isn't he just?" you reply with a smile so fucking fake that it's a good job the camera isn't on you. There's a look on Jungkook's face that you don't really understand. He almost looks guilty—but there's nothing to feel guilty about. He can do what he likes. "Gonna take him for a walk in a bit, then I'm just gonna pop out for half an hour to see Mingyu."

"Are you taking Bam with you?" Jungkook asks, brows a little hard, the ridge between them nicely defined.

"Hadn't planned on it," you chirp, your face just as hard as his. "But I can take him to meet Mingyu, if you like?"

Jungkook swallows. Tries to pretend as if his jaw isn't tense. Is incredibly stern when he says, "Rather him not meet new people when I'm not around."

"Sure," you say, then flick the camera back to you. Are pleased to see nonchalance sitting prettily on your features, no matter how perplexed you might feel."I should be off, though! Call me if you need anything."

"Wait!" Jiwon says quickly, clearly unaware of the weirdness between you and Jungkook. She sees you bickering all the time, so must just figure this is what you're like when you're not ripping each other's heads off. "Just wanted to say thank you—I'm so glad I'm here."

Jungkook's eyes focus on your face as Jiwon gives even more thanks. He doesn't understand the sudden attitude you've developed. All he wanted was to see Bam, but you've a face like a slapped arsed and are trying to hang up. It's fuckin' rude, and if Jiwon wasn't there, he'd tell you so.

He lets you hang up. Doesn't ask you to stay.

"She alright?" Jiwon innocent chirps after you go. "She seems a little..."

"Just tired," Jungkook dismisses. "I woke her up at like, three this morning when I was leaving."

"Oh? She was at your place?"

It's really none of Jiwon's business, but Jungkook chalks it up to her being young, and unaware of when to keep her mouth shut.

"Yeah," he states definitively and plainly, ending the conversation. Heads to the bathroom to clear his head. Turns the shower up to just as hot as the one at his house has been ever since you left his apartment the last time.

'Cause Jungkook's been lying to himself.

There's no lock on the damn annexe. Or at least not from the outside.

The annexe has everything he needs. He's been sitting there, inside, quite comfortably with you for a little while now.

He really did think you were gonna call things off with Mingyu.

Is unaware that Mingyu got left on read four days ago after another dull, fruitless 'how was your day', 'fine thanks, and you?' conversation. As hot as he may be, he doesn't challenge you. Excite you. Anger you. Make you feel any kind of passion.

Which is funny, 'cause you find yourself reaching for a bottle of wine that you know is far too expensive for a Tuesday night glass, just to piss Jungkook off from afar and well in advance of him ever realising what you've done.

Just like you mentioned going to see Mingyu just to get a reaction out of Jungkook.

Childish as it may be, you feel threatened. People praising Jiwon in your place already made you feel insecure at work, and now she's in his hotel room in a state of near undress? Something about it just irks you.

It shouldn't.

It shouldn't, it shouldn't, it shouldn't.

But it does.

And so you spend your evening on Jungkook's couch with cheese, wine and Bam. Put Love, Rosie on, 'cause it's your favourite guilty pleasure film and you think it'll cheer you up.

Instead, you end up silently sobbing by the halfway point, Bam only snuggling into you even further. Can understand that you're upset. Comforts in the only way he knows how.

Sleep is hard to come by that evening. You're full of wine and cheese, so it should be easy. Lights out as soon as you close your eyes—but you toss and turn, and with every move, the scent of him wafts even deeper into your senses. Any further and it might just enter your bloodstream. Seep down into your heart.

By the time morning comes, you feel even more rotten than you did the night before. Have slept on it all. Know that he hasn't done anything wrong, which only makes you feel even more stupid for being so annoyed.

You've also slept on the idea he might have slept with Jiwon. It wouldn't be out of character, but it would be the first person in your department he's shagged. It's always been out of bounds. He knows this. For the same reason you wouldn't shag anyone he works closely with. It'd just be weird. Make meetings uncomfortable.

When you call on your walk that morning, you half hope he won't pick up.

But he does. He always will.

"Hey," he says a little breathlessly. A towel is whipped over his shoulder, sweat dappling his skin. There's something so devastatingly beautiful about mid-workout Jungkook. "Sorry, didn't think you'd call."

Almost as if you're looking for reasons to be annoyed, you take offence to this.

"I always call?"

"Well, yeah, but you were so fuckin' weird last night," he laughs, heading out of the gym and into an empty corridor of the hotel.

"I wasn't anything," you reply back with a scowl—and realise how terribly you're hiding your annoyance. Flick the camera over so it focuses on Bam as he trots along the path. "Just tired."

It's the same excuse he bullshitted to Jiwon. Knows you're talking bollocks.

"Even Jiwon asked what was wrong with you—"

"Oh, well I'm terribly sorry to have inconvenienced you, Jungkook," you snap, completely unjustified. It's too late, though. You've started. Have to see it through. "But if you don't mind, I'm responsible for your pet right now and I'd rather not be having this conversation when I need to be focusing on a million other things at once."

"Fine," Jungkook snaps right back. All he wants is to see Bam, but he doesn't want to be having this conversation either. "But you know what? Don't bother calling back until you've taken that stick out from up your arse."

You shouldn't be surprised when Jungkook hangs up.

But you are.

For the second time in as many days, you find yourself crying. 

Oh, it's all so pathetic! And stupid! There's no need for it, you think.

Thankfully you're not too far from home—Jungkook's home, that is—so you can cut the walk a little short as long as you come home at lunch to check on Bam, too.

You don't even really understand why you're fighting with him. Wish you weren't.

When Jungkook zips open his suit bag as he's getting ready for the Expo opening ceremony, he finds himself wishing just the same.

Tucked on top of his blazer is a brand new tie; one of which he most definitely did not put there. 

An incredibly muted bronze and black paisley pattern swirls over the material, and on top rests a note.

Jungkook rubs his face with a flat palm. Rakes it through his hair. Swallows back the awkward heat prickling at his eyes and the tickle in his throat. Doesn't wanna bawl.

But then he reads the note, and he just can't stop himself.

Dad!!!

You're gonna do great!!!!

Come home soon tho :(((((

Woof woof!!!!!!!

Your Bammie <333

P.S. I'm colour blind but the gremlin said this one is the same colour as me!!! Do you miss me??? I miss you!!!!!

The first time you had ever learned of Jungkook's tattoos was in a dive bar a few blocks over from work. It was just after you'd pulled off your first deal together—the one that set your working relationship in stone—and you'd both been blowing off steam.

The walls were red, and so were your cheeks, blushed from the heat of what it felt like to sit beside him in a tatty booth.

So used to sitting across from him at meeting tables, something about it changed your dynamic. Any threats of being on opposing teams were whittled down to nothing more than a life that could have been.

He had your back. You had his.

Blazer off, his sleeves were rolled up. You didn't ask him about a single one of the tattoos, like he half thought you might. 

Instead, you just accepted him as he was. Didn't stroke your index finger up his arm, tracing the lines, like most girls do as an excuse to get better acquainted with him.

That night he made a promise to himself to never ruin the working relationship you have together.

You work too well to jeopardise it. He has goals. Knew, even back then, that you'd help him achieve his aspirations, like some sort of twin flame type of shit he didn't believe in.

Didn't. Past tense.

These days, when you think of Jungkook and his tattoos, you always think of the snake. It's the one you see most frequently for it's so close to his wrist. Have always understood snakes to represent change.

Jungkook is yet to shed his skin. He's still just the same as he always was, you think, as you get in the lift and head up towards your office floor.

Just 'cause he hadn't hooked up with anyone from the office in a while didn't mean that he'd changed his ways. More fool you for thinking that he might've.

And it's not like it even matters at all. Who he lays down with is none of your concern. You've never cared before. Not really.

It's just that you've been going to sleep in his sheets. Eating dinner he prepared in advance for you. Waking up to his pup excitedly doing zoomies around the room, 'cause he's ready for his walk.

When you get home, you put Bam's leash up next to your coat, which is hung on top of Jungkook's. Kick your shoes off by a pair of his. Use his shower gel when you get washed, and wistfully tuck yourself up into the armchair you helped him pick out for his bedroom. It's tucked in the corner. Is perfect for watching the world roll by.

You know you should have just called him this morning. Spent the entire walk stubbornly hoping that he would instead, but he's just as childish as you are.

You've bickered with him a hundred times over since you first met him, but never like this.

The elevator dings to a stop, pulling you from your tiresome thoughts of Jungkook. Pulling your body from its slumped leaning stature against the mirrored walls, you trudge into a place that endlessly reminds you of him.

Impossible to escape, is Jungkook. Perhaps that's it. Maybe you've just had enough of each other. Need a little time to breathe.

Everyone else who started at the company around the same time as you has already left. It's just you and Jungkook still here from the small pool of fresh graduates that had been taken under Mr Seo's wing.

But you like it here. Like your job. The salary you earn is great—far more than you would get anywhere else.

Again, you don't know this, but Jungkook's always negotiated on your behalf behind closed doors. He makes the company far more money, and does admittedly get a pretty huge bonus every year according to the amount of deals closed.

That being said, he also stomps down to Mr Seo's office in the fourth quarter when news of the next fiscal year's raises are shared. Will demand that your base salary is matched to his. Has threatened, on numerous occasions, to call for a pay disparity audit from external forces if your wage isn't boosted up, even if it means his is cut down to make up for it.

You went out on a limb trusting him in the early days. This is how he repays you.

That's just friendship, though, he thinks. You help him, he helps you.

He also knows you'd probably be annoyed if you ever found out he meddled with things like that.

The girls in the accounting office always think it's so lovely whenever they see the pay increases. Yours and Jungkook's are never quite what they should be, and they know exactly why. It's why they always ask you how he is whenever you go to drop off inventory reports and materials lists with the lead accountant.

You think they just fancy the pants off him.

Which is also true.

And it's also why a couple of them are curiously standing outside your office space, giggling like school girls as you approach it.

"Morning," you smile, then laugh a little too at their giddy excitement—but when you turn the corner and realise what they're so smitten over, you're a little lost for words.

Sitting on your desk is quite possibly the largest bouquet of flowers you've ever seen. Peonies, you think from afar. Pretty and pale pink, they're in a glass vase. Two dozen easily, if not more, blooming just for you.

"Oh," you hum, because it's hardly what you expect to walk into on a Thursday morning.

Mingyu flashes through your head, but you haven't heard a peep from him since you last let your conversation dissolve over the weekend. He has no reason to send you flowers.

But nor does anyone else.

"We tried working out the message," one of them admits. "But whoever your secret admirer is, they're hell-bent on keeping it secret!"

Shameless, you think, suppressing a well-natured laugh. They've got balls to admit that they've read the note.

Walking to your desk, you see it sitting atop of the flowers, and read it for yourself.

Anyone reading the note who knows a single non-superficial thing about the mystery sender would know who it is in a heartbeat. All it takes for you to know is to see the name of who it's addressed to.

Bammie—

She's right. It does match you. When I get home we can dress you up in my new tie.

Tell the gremlin that you deserve head scratches.

And extra treats.

And that I miss her.

Glancing over to the girls, who desperately want gossip, you simply shrug. If they've never heard Jungkook talk about Bam before, then they clearly don't know him at all. If he wanted his name on the note, he'd have put it there.

He could have gotten them sent to his apartment. He chose here. But he also chose anonymity.

And so you give him a little grace.

"Your guess is as good as mine," you bullshit with an apologetic smile that no one believes.

Lea just looks at you from across the room with a raised brow. Waits until the girls leave, then says, "That's not the kind of bouquet you send a colleague."

She already knows you're looking after Bam. That being said, she hasn't read the card. Has no idea what it says. Just knows that there's only one man you ever talk about with such warmth to be deserving of those flowers from.

"Apparently it is," you shrug, all but confirming who sent them with a coy smile.

"I hope he lets Jiwon down gently," Lea sighs, knowing just as well as you do that she's got a bit of a thing for Jungkook.

What she doesn't know is that it's the exact reason you're fighting with him.

Hell, even he doesn't know that!

So deep in your denial, neither do you.

"Why would he need to?" You downplay it all. Lea doesn't know about the awkward call Jiwon inserted herself into, or the fact you've already decided that he must have fucked her. "Like I said, apparently these are the kind of flowers sent by just a colleague."

Lea shakes her head. Has been observing you and Jungkook for years. Was waiting for a Christmas party, or one of those nightmarish summer tennis tournaments for the pair of you to finally figure it out. You're just as thick as two wooden planks when it comes to all of this, or so it would seem. A little push might be needed.

"Colleagues don't send flowers just because," she tells you with an air of authority. "And if I know anything about the stories you've told me, Jungkook doesn't send flowers full stop."

Just like that, you're thinking of those damn tattoos again. The snake, specifically.

Maybe, just maybe, he is changing.

And if you weren't confused before, then you sure as hell are now.

During the summer months, Jungkook often goes home to see Bam at lunchtime. It's not uncommon for you to go with him. In the winter, when the temperature of his apartment is less of a worry, Jungkook probably only goes home for lunch once a week or so.

Walking up to Jungkook's apartment in the middle of the day without him feels a little bit wrong. In one hand, you're holding a peony by its stem. In the other, you're clutching your phone just in case he calls.

In all honesty, you had planned on taking the entire vase back, but it was bloody heavy. You'll wait until he's back in the office.

It might just be paranoia, or the misplaced assumption that everyone is obsessed with what Jungkook does, but you swear there have been far more people passing your office today than usual. People you've seen maybe once or twice in your entire lifetime.

Lea was right. Jungkook doesn't send flowers. 

Has a repeat order going monthly for his mother, but that's it. And even then, he's kind of forgotten about it.

You've debated it with him before; flowers and their presence in relationships. 

He thinks a potted plant would be far more practical, but if he was really going to get someone something, it'd be herbs. Maybe a potted mint bush. Something useful that they could enjoy together.

A few weeks ago, you had told him he'd make an awful sugar daddy.

"Well, yeah!" He'd just laughed. "I save my money for myself. Me alone. If someone wants nice shit, they can get their own job."

"Oh, so you'd never treat a girlfriend?" You'd scoffed, forgetting the fact he never really has girlfriends. Just flings. "Never get her nice shit?"

"Well, that's different," he'd said. "It's not transactional."

"Everything in life is transactional, whether people like to kid themselves it is or not."

Jungkook looked affronted when you said this. You'd had differing perceptions of life for as long as he'd known you, but you'd always been a romantic. Always believed in the prevailing nature of love.

Bam had adjusted in his sleepy position. Curled up a little tighter, then stretched right out. Rested his hind paws on your thighs and tucked his nose into his chest.

"Bam disagrees," Jungkook assured you.

"You trained him using transactions," you reminded him regardless. "Rewarded him with a treat every time he did as you asked. Transactional."

"Okay, but this?" He gestured to where Bam was curled between the pair of you on his sofa. That's always been a rule of his. No sofa for Bam—he's got all the beds he could ever want! But when Jungkook is on the sofa, it's the only place he wants to be, too. "He knows he's not supposed to be on here. He knows he won't get a reward, so why is he up here? It isn't transactional. He just—"

"Is playing you for a fool," you had laughed. "He wants to be on the sofa, so he lets us pet him in return for us not shooing him off. He's the one setting the transaction up. You're the one getting the reward. He's playing you at your own game. Aren't you, baby?"

You'd cooed a little, scratching at Bam's thigh. He shook it ever so gently and readjusted, but didn't stop resting against you.

It was a curious thought; the way that nothing in life ever comes for free. Even the favours you do for Jungkook by dog-sitting are transactional. You get just as much out of those days as he does.

The conversation had mellowed into something else, 'cause Jungkook didn't want to get into a debate. Knows that you can defend your point until the cows come home—has been in enough meetings with you to know as such. Likes being on your side 'cause you always win—and with a negotiator like him to seal the deal, it's always so much sweeter.

As the calling screen of Jungkook's contact details takes over your screen, phone resting against a wine bottle on the coffee table, you wonder how transactional this is.

He gave you flowers, and now you're giving him a call.

Anyone with a rational mind would surely ask: is this not how romance works?

But when he accepts your call, and you're met with a stern face that's desperately trying not to smile, you're reminded of what he really is: your best friend.

Neither of you wants to be the first one who cracks and gives in first, even if you both know this is all so stupid.

You reach over to pick up the peony. Hold it in front of your face. The petals have bloomed so spectacularly that it almost eclipses you.

Jungkook's face scrunches up a little, his terribly hidden smile slightly distorted but ever so hard to hide.

"Will you stop hating me now?" Is all he says.

"Never hated you," you grumble, bringing the flower a little lower, but still in frame. Sitting on the floor, your back is to the sofa and Bam is behind you, right where he's not supposed to be.

If Jungkook is bothered by it, he doesn't mention it. "I missed him this morning."

The guilt that crawls into your stomach and makes itself at home is rancid. Anguish is her name, and she loves nothing more than ruining a good thing.

The frown that steals the pretty smile from your face isn't one that Jungkook enjoys seeing on you, no matter how cute it is when your eyebrows pinch together.

"I should have called," you acknowledge, knowing that it was cruel of you not to, even if you were fighting. "I'm sorry."

Jungkook just smiles. "I assumed the stick was still up your arse."

Narrowing your eyes, you're pleased that he's joking with you; that things feel normal.

"It's fine," he dismisses regardless. "Last night was the opening event so I was a little worse for wear this morning, and then Jiwon was rummaging about at fuckin' six in the morning. Took her fuckin' hours to get ready."

And there it is; confirmation that she's been sharing his bed.

Though you don't frown, there's a stupor to the muscles in your face. The brightness you were looking at him with fades—and very quickly, Jungkook becomes the one who looks unhappy, now.

"What?" He says, genuinely a little confused.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

You just shake your head. Dismiss it. Flick the camera around and lift your phone to focus it on Bam as you give him a little scratch behind the ear.

"He's been good as gold," you begin to waffle on. The ridge between Jungkook's brows deepens. "Best boy in the doggie park, aren't you? There's a new couple who have just started walking a Yorkie. Yappy little bugger. I don't think Bam's a fan."

"No," Jungkook supposes. "He doesn't like yappy dogs—and I don't like it when you deflect. Show me your face, gremlin. What's going on?"

"Nothing!" You insist, but don't flick the camera back. Just get a little more boisterous with Bam, and while it does make Jungkook smile, he can't shake the horrible feeling that's building in his diaphragm.

Your Anguish has a cousin who goes by the name of Confusion, and she adores wrapping herself up in men who fail to communicate in a way that is healthy.

"C'mon," he softly says. Flicks his camera around. Shows you an empty hallway of the convention centre. Says, "I've left Jiwon in charge at the height of the day just so I can answer your call. Talk to me. What's wrong?"

"You didn't have to answer," you grumble.

Jungkook is smarter than most. Will have clocked the time of day and knew it was lunch. Definitely assumed you must be with Bam. It must be why he picked up.

Flicking the camera back on himself, Jungkook is almost at a loss for what else he can say to get you to open up.

A little honesty is needed.

And so you pout. Mumble, "They're calling you and Jiwon a dream team in the office."

Jungkook's frown intensifies as his dewy pink lips rest ajar. You'd say he looks distressed, but that's far too intense of an emotion for such a childish qualm.

He just knows that if he heard your partnership with another colleague—especially one in his department—being referred to like that, he'd take offence. It's you and him. You're the dream team. Always have been.

Shaking his head, Jungkook doesn't hide his contempt. Scoffs. "Fuck off. Dream team? She's using your strategies at a booth you designed, and even then, she's barely doing that—you know Acorn guy? The one you said to steer clear of? She's gunning for him—"

"Oh, you're kidding me," you gasp in disbelief. You warned her that he's bad news, multiple times. "Him?!"

"She's young," Jungkook says with a little judgement. Is scared of turning thirty, but definitely doesn't understand people who are closer to twenty. "He's just some hot guy on TV, to her. Doesn't realise his business is gonna tank. She isn't thinking about it long-term."

Which is funny, 'cause Jungkook never really used to think about things long term, either.

Sure, with investments and saving his money, he's always been a little cautious. When it comes to the business, though, it's someone else's money he's playing with. He takes risks. Does dumb shit and it gets rewards.

He really is incredibly good at his job, though. It's part of the reason the women love him, you always think.

It's not.

They like him because he's kind and also so bloody hot he should be on billboards, not in boardrooms.

You like him because he's competent.

In fact, you think there's nothing hotter than a competent man who just knows how to get shit done. And when said competent man can cook like Jungkook? Cares for his dog in the way he does? Looks like he does?

Sigh.

You ignore the way he looks a lot of the time, but you've a pair of eyes and a part of your brain that recognises attractive men. It's hard to ignore all of the time.

"Anyway," he shakes his head. "Not important. She's perfectly fine if not a little misguided—but she isn't you. So, stop worrying about it."

You take a second before you reply. Flick the camera back to you.

It surprises Jungkook, how Confusion has travelled through his bloodstream. Her bony fingers toy with his heart, and he's taken aback by just how sharp her nails are.

Looking at you never used to feel like this. He's not sure why it does now.

You muster up a little courage, even if you can't bring yourself to look at him properly. Let out a deep sigh. Now or never. You run the risk of causing another fight, but if you don't come clean, it'll only dirty everything.

"I just thought we kind of had an agreement, Kook," you eventually whine with an ever-so childish pout.

The hands that have been tearing at his heart migrate through his bloodstream. Get into his brain. Get into his house. Opens doors. Begins moving the furniture.

Stay out of the annexe, his thoughts hiss at Confusion.

Still he seems perfectly calm when he asks, "Watcha mean?"

He's not making this easy for you.

In fact, you'd say he's making it difficult. It would be far easier for you if he just acknowledged what he's already done.

"Well, just..." you take a moment or so to think about how it can be phrased with any dignity—and then you think fuck it. "She's in my department, Kook. I always thought you wouldn't fuck anyone I have to directly work with. It just makes it awkwa—"

"Woah, woah woah," he interrupts. Confusion sits on his shoulder, now, with a twisted smirk on her greyed-out face. "Wouldn't fuck anyone? What the hell do you think I've been doing?!"

"Well, I mean, it's less what and more... who," you joke a little too flippantly.

You don't think he's ever looked so offended in the entire time you've known him.

"You've got to be kidding me."

If anything, you're a bit surprised by just how offended he is. Jiwon is an incredibly pretty girl. A little young for him, granted, but not abhorrently so.

"What?!" You reply, equally confused, then relay everything back to him. "She woke you up this morning getting ready? Was in your room when I called you? Fucking got on your bed right in front of my face and cosied up with you to look at Bam."

Admittedly, that last one was said with a little venom. It annoys you the most.

"She woke me up this morning from across the room," he counters. "Was in our room because we were a last-minute addition to the convention, and it was the only room left within a ten-mile radius—twin beds, may I add! If I don't even share my bed with you when I'm at home, then what the hell makes you think I'd share one with her?! Yeah, the call thing was weird. I'm not gonna lie, it was, but I answered when she was around because I didn't want either of you to get the wrong impression."

A smile wobbles on your lips, as you try to remain stoic. Either of you. You know that you apparently got the wrong end of the stick—but you're not entirely sure what he means by either of you. You wonder what impression he's trying to give her, then decide it's not important.

You clasp your hands together. Lean forward. Put on your best noble old man voice, and say, "Well, it appears that it might have just happened, regardless."

Confusion's perch on Jungkook's shoulder is knocked loose when he laughs, though those sharp nails do claw onto his back. Leave scratch marks that will take a little while to heal—what's important is that they will.

One day, this awkward misstep will be something you laugh about. Kind of like he is, now. You'll forget your tears, but you won't ever forget the strange feeling of weight lifting off your shoulders, mind eased by Jungkook.

"You're a fucking idiot," he laughs with such fondness it almost doesn't feel like an insult. "Seriously? You thought I fucked her? And was then, what? Trying to brag about it? C'mon, you little gremlin! Give me some credit."

Never before has 'gremlin' ever sounded so kind. So warm. So much like 'darling', or 'mon amour'. Secret code for unspoken words.

"I don't know," you whine. Bam shuffles a little bit on the sofa behind you, turning his face away from the noise. You reach back to scratch his head as an apology. Jungkook smiles. Your care for his baby is so innate that you don't even realise you're doing it. "Her hair was damp, and she was practically falling out of her top—"

"Oh, but what I am supposed to do?" He laughs. "I can't tell her to cover up in her own damn room, and even then I just ignore it. I didn't sleep with her. I'm not going to sleep with her. Okay?"

He's not even thought about it. Feels nothing when he looks at her. No excitement. Even if she is attractive, he doesn't think his body would work properly.

Hasn't been working as it should do for the best part of a year now.

Or maybe it would better be referred to as 'malfunctioning'.

'Cause it seems to work okay when he thinks about you.

He 'malfunctioned' earlier on that day, as a matter of fact. Was just showering. And he missed you. And was thinking about those damn pyjama shorts. How smooth your legs had been when he'd hoisted you over his shoulder. How pliant you'd been as he chucked you down into his sheets. Your sleepy eyes and the 3AM husk to your voice. Fuck.

Even thinking about it in a dingy hallway of a convention centre, with your pretty face smiling at him through his phone, is making his heart race. If he doesn't get a hold on it, he'll go into cardiac. Might just flatline.

"Look, I gotta get back, okay?" He softly says. It's not a lie, but it is more sensible than he wants to be. "Have to make sure Jiwon hasn't sold the company to the acorn guy. There's a networking event tonight, so I can't call during Bammie's walk, but I'll check in at some point."

"Alright," you nod, a little sad to see him go, but understanding of it. "Hurry up and come home. Bam misses you."

"I miss him, too," Jungkook pouts. "Show me my baby before I go."

Phone angled to fully capture Bam, you indulge Jungkook for a few moments before he really does have to go. He lingers for a second or so after you say goodbye. Can't muster up anything good to say to make you stay.

Holding the stem of the single peony you'd taken home with you, you roll it between your thumb and fingers. Watch the petals twirl.

"What should I do, hey, Bam?" You wistfully sigh, eventually getting up to pop it in a glass of water. Jungkook has no vases, for he's never had any need for flowers.

The peony isn't the only thing blooming in his kitchen these days, though. It hasn't been for a while.

Work passes slowly that afternoon. You want to get home. See Bam. Finish off the wine you opened so that Jungkook doesn't scold you for letting it turn into vinegar when he gets back. And then you wanna sleep—just so you can wake up the next morning and take Bam on his walk.

It's not like that isn't part of your agenda tonight, too. It's just that Jungkook won't be around for that one.

Instead, his evening is spent in fancy rooms with men in even fancier suits and women who take a fancy to him, too. A whisky is in his hands at all times, his pretty lips embroiled in conversation. He talks so much he barely has any time to drink.

People gravitate towards him; those who feel threatened by his charm gravitate towards Jiwon. Mistake her for a prize he's trying to keep. Don't realise his unbothered facade is anything but a facade.

It's gone midnight by the time he's kicking off his shoes with a little wobble as he gets to his hotel room.

"I'm being serious," he almost giggles, phone between his shoulder and his ear as he loosens his cufflinks. "It's a wig. I'm positive."

280 miles away, phone on your tummy, loudspeaker on as you gaze up at Jungkook's bedroom ceiling, you're laughing too.

"It can't be," you protest the current topic of conversation—Mr Acorn (as he's now affectionately known between you both) and whether or not his hair is real. Jungkook had left Jiwon to continue her poorly judged perusal of him, in favour of checking in with you instead. There was no one else at that party he wanted to talk to more than he wanted to talk to you. Laughing and joking about stupid shit, he's glad you answered. "He went swimming on Singles Inferno!"

"So?!" Jungkook snorts, tapping his phone over to loudspeaker too and tossing it down onto his sheets. A little haphazard, he's unbuttoning his shirt. Is a little tipsy, but not enough to warrant any huge issues. "Maybe he used industrial strength glue."

"Surely he'd rather people just know he was bald? Start a trend?"

"Maybe he's got a terrible head tattoo," Jungkook theorises, tossing his shirt across to a chair, before finally discarding his pants, too. Is just in his boxers now as he clambers into the sheets. "Bald eagle. An ex's name. I dunno. But I'd take chemical burns over that."

"You'd never get a girl's name tattooed on you," you laugh in response. Legs tucked up, heels to your ass, you let your knees gently sway. Bam is curled up in his own bed by the foot of Jungkook's. You're not on facetime, mainly 'cause Jungkook clicked the wrong button, but it's also nice not using poor Bam as an excuse to talk to you.

"And I'm also not balding, so we don't have to worry about that."

"Are you not?" You hum, just to wind him up. "I swear there's a patch of missing hair—"

"Shut up," he cuts you off, voice just as fond as it is stern. "I will swim all the way back to the mainland and speed run up to Seoul just to shut you up. Don't speak it into existence. I have great hair."

"Mmm," you hum. Sinking a little further into his sheet, you turn on your side. Take him off speaker. Hold your phone to your ear. Look at the empty side of his bed and wonder what it'd be like if he were here. Know better than to indulge it. "And you are just so modest, too. Absolutely no ego whatsoever."

"It's why the ladies love me," he jokes, not realising just how true it is. Jungkook takes a moment before he says anything else. Is comforted by the silence you leave for him, totally unaware it's because you're not sure how to respond. "Not that it matters."

Though his delivery is soft and airy, like feathers falling from a well established nest, it lands in your chest with a heavy thud, like a stone from a bridge. You couldn't swerve in time. It shattered your windshield; plummeted straight into your heart. 'Causes a pile up on the freeway, all your thoughts held behind a tongue that cannot speak.

"You tired?" Jungkook hums down the speaker when a response never comes. "I'm sorry, I can let you go?"

"No," you say incredibly quickly considering you've been leaving your side of the conversation empty. "No, sorry. Just can't believe you're actually behaving yourself. Who are you, and what have you done with Cassanova that normally takes a hold of you after a few drinks?"

He's right here, Jungkook laments, knowing better than to act on the way he's been feeling lately. Just says, "Maybe I'm maturing."

"I find that hard to believe," you tell him. If the tiktok psychology gurus who have taught you everything you know about modern men are anything to go by, his brain should have finished fully developing about a year ago.

And while Jungkook would tell you to get fucked and that his brain was already fully developed, he knows that if he sat down and really thought about it, maybe it'd hold some merit. Afterall, it's been about a year since those first thoughts about you started creeping into his mind house.

It's only recently that he's been flirting with that damn annexe door, but he's been aware of someone in there for a while, now.

"What?" He smiles down the phone, resting an arm on his bare abdomen, looking up at the dark ceiling of his hotel room. "Maybe I am. Maybe shagging random girls doesn't excite me anymore."

"You're lying."

"Am I?"

"Yes," you insist, but there's a smile on your face.

There's something about his denial you enjoy.

It's why you're arguing against him. You wanna hear him deny it again. Tell you he doesn't care about other girls. You don't necessarily want him to care about you beyond what he already does. Or at least that's what you tell yourself.

"No," he simply replies back. "I'm not."

"So if Jiwon—"

"Why are you bringing her up again?" He's smirking, now. You can hear it in his tone. "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous?!"

"Yeah," He insists, just like you had been earlier. "You don't like the idea of her sleeping with me."

Incorrect. You don't like the idea of him sleeping with her.

"Well, no," you admit. "But because I work with her—"

"That's not it," he fights against you. Knows that you didn't go and see Mingyu when you said you would, and also now knows you said you would after you thought he'd slept with Jiwon. He might not be able to read women's minds, but he's learnt your M.O. pretty well over the years.

"You're drunk," you whisper, trying to hide behind the alcohol that both of you have in your systems. Neither of you are in any position to make sensible choices.

"Tipsy," he corrects. "And so are you. Go on. Be honest. Tell me."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Yeah, there is," he whispers, his words far braver in sentiment than they are in sound.

You swallow. Can't work out if he's just teasing you or not. "There's nothing."

The silence in the room around you is deafening. It's like all you can focus on is Jungkook, and the way you imagine his lips pouting together at the end of each sentence he speaks. Pretty and pink and—

"So you've never thought about it?" He interrupts your thoughts with a question you're unprepared for. 

"What?" You reply a little dismissively, as if it's an outlandish think to consider.

But Jungkook doesn't buy it.

Has been driving himself insane.

Knows he can't be the only one—and if he is, then maybe he really is insane.

"Us," he replies as if it's water off a duck's back. Simple. Easy. "You've never wondered what it would be like?"

"Kook..."

It's like playing chicken. Both too scared to cross a line for fear of it changing the entire fabric of your lives.

But you can acknowledge something without acting on it. Confirmation means nothing; it's the choices that follow which really mean something,

"Yeah?" He husks. His sleepy eyes are pressed shut, his voice a slow drawl. "What is it, huh? You want me to admit it first?"

You almost laugh at how dumb this whole conversation is. You're friends. Have been for years. Colleagues. Just... Well, just you and Jungkook. He's never thought about you like that. You're certain of it.

Yet still, you ask, "Well, have you?"

He doesn't reply immediately. You half think he's drifted off to sleep, proof that he'd had too much to drink to be having a conversation like this.

But then you hear his breathy little laugh through the speaker. You know he must be nibbling down on his bottom lip as he smirks. The sound is so familiar you can picture it. You wish he was here. Want to see it. Feel it.

Fuck, you curse yourself out. This is not good.

And Jungkook's only gonna make it a whole lot worse.

"Yeah," he quietly admits, keys in one hand and padlock in the other as he stares at the annexe door in his mind. Wide open, there's no going back now. Only forward. "I think about it all the time."

Bam nuzzles the side of his head against your tummy as he adjusts into a slightly more comfortable position on Jungkook's bed. The sheets are a mess from all your tossing and turning, your body plonked right in the middle of his mattress. There's no his side or your side anymore. You've made it yours, and Bam has joined in.

He shouldn't be on the bed. You know this, he knows this. You're both disobeying Jungkook. Are in this perfectly innocent sin together, and will face the wrath of Jungkook as a unit.

There's never really much wrath that comes from Jungkook. He's the type to smirk and laugh in the face of the people who've wronged him. Believes in karma. Fate. He draws the lines at horoscopes, though. Thinks they're bollocks. Smiles, still, when you blame shitty things on Mercury.

The only time you've ever seen him angry—nostrils flaring, jaw tense, agitated beyond compare—was when some guy wouldn't stop hitting on you in a bar. You'd told him no a dozen times over and he just wouldn't listen.

It still pisses you off that he listened to Jungkook without hesitation, but you also know it looked like Jungkook was gonna break his nose. You're far less intimidating when you're annoyed. Jungkook laughs at you whenever you get frustrated. Says you're cute—or at least as cute as a Gremlin can be.

You've got a similar look on your face now, all perplexed and bereft. If he were here, he'd be teasing you, trying to make you crack a smile.

Annoyingly, you know he'd be able to.

You're staring up at his ceiling, early morning light seeping in through the gaps in the curtains. The world you wish to ignore today rudely intrudes on you regardless.

It's his karma, you think.

You disobey Jungkook, the world disobeys you.

With one hand resting on Bam, the other is tightly clutching your phone. For the past five minutes, you've been locking and unlocking it like a wind-up toy drummer.

To call, or not to call, or whatever Shakespeare said.

The faint hum of a wine-induced hangover buzzes between your ears, but it isn't so bad. Probably because you didn't really have that much to drink.

If anyone asks, you'll say you had a bottle.

And by anyone, you mean Jungkook.

If Jungkook asks, you'll laugh— We had a call? Are you sure? —and he'll laugh too— Yeah, we were both pretty drunk —and you'll both pretend like he didn't say the words that he did.

Pulling the pillow he usually sleeps on across to your face, you press it down. Scream into the padding. It's not loud enough to alarm Bam, but it is enough to make him cock his head.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it had only been Jungkook's lips that were loose last night.

The issue is that yours were, too.

You wish you didn't remember all the words you'd said. The way you'd told him to shut up.

The way he'd hummed, "Oh, come on. You know you think about it, too."

The way you'd said, "I do no such thing."

He had laughed. Said you were a liar.

You'd protested. Said it didn't matter anyways, 'cause you both know it'd never work.

"So you have thought about it," he'd teased.

"Briefly."

"How briefly?"

"Like a matter of minutes—"

"Okay, rude," he'd pouted through the receiver. "I last way longer than a couple of minutes."

"You're disgusting," you'd laughed at the way he'd made it all about sex.

For all he knew, you could have been talking about a relationship—but you're right. You both know it'd never work, so of course this is about sex.

"You the one who's thought about it, though," he'd flirted through the phone. Biting down on his bottom lip, the darkness of his hotel room had slipped him into a fatal state of hedonism.

There was a beat of his heart. One. Two. Still no response from you.

He knew you were thinking about it. Thinking about him. Decided to push his luck. Had almost whispered, his fingertips trailing down his torso, as he chanced, "Do you ever think about me when you touch yourself?"

Silence continued to linger for longer than it should have, until you finally just whispered, "Kook."

"Yeah?" He'd smirked.

"You can't ask things like that."

But he can, and he did, and your lack of an answer was an answer in and of itself.

He wasn't even really after the truth. He just wanted to get under your skin; burrow himself down into the deepest, darkest, most depraved corner of your brain. Revenge, he thinks, for that damn annexe you've assigned squatters rights to.

You set up home in him? Fine . He'll do it right back.

"So this is what I am, huh?" You'd replied, with a little faux chip on your shoulder, trying to deflect from yourself. "Just another office girl for you to fantasize about?"

There's always been a challenge to you that Jungkook has liked. You're sparring partners. Will bicker and argue and end up laughing over it all. It makes for excellent brainstorming meetings, 'cause you're always trying to win. You bring out the best in each other, even if it is in a bid to do the opposite.

Jungkook had sighed. Weighed up his options. Rested his hands over his boxers, only to find himself far too entertained by the conversation. It wasn't a surprise, nor was it unwelcome.

The frequency of his thoughts about you had been doubling, tripling, quadrupling ever since Chuseok.

His bed has become a pit of sin in recent weeks; nobody but him in the shrouded decay of a mind-house he's been neglecting in favour of the annexe shared with you.

He already knows just how bad it's gonna be for him when he returns home, and the pillows are dented by your crown, the lingering scent of your perfume wrapping around him just like he knows his hand will be around his cock. Tight. Strong. Firm. It's your name he'll whine, just like it was when he was in the shower earlier that morning.

God, it's gotten so bad.

He needs to stop before he ruins everything.

It's not like sex is an uncommon topic of conversation between you both. Casual vulgarity had been a tool used to bond with; a taboo way to tease one another. It's always been casual. Uncalculated.

It's different, now.

In the darkness of midnight, the stakes were raised almost as high as your heart rate.

"You think so poorly of me," he'd whined, a teasing smile on his lips. It wasn't rare to hear Jungkook address you so playfully. In fact, it was a common occurrence—yet it felt strange, this time. "You know you're not just another office girl."

"Do I?"

"You should."

"I don't," you'd shrugged into his sheets. "Tell me, how am I different?"

The distance between you made a flirt like this safe. Immediate consequences were null and void, and the alcohol in your system didn't seem to care for it either.

"I can't tell you."

"Sure you can."

"You don't wanna hear it," he'd promised.

"Try me," you'd challenged.

And then Jungkook admitted something he knew far better than to confess, but couldn't seem to help himself. He just wanted you to know that you were special. That you were different.

That you are different. Are special.

"None of the office girls have ever made me cum in my own bed."

It came out far less sweet than his brain had told him it would, but it was still a compliment, he thought.

"Jungkook!"

"What?!"

The way you both kind of shrieked at each other only amplified the shock of the confession, but also did well to hide the way it excited you, too. Got you hot beneath his sheets. Aroused.

"Don't say things like that," you'd scolded him with a laugh, playing it off as a joke. "I'll report you to HR."

"You'd do no such thing," he'd smirked down the line. Matched your energy. Played it off as an incredibly obscene, vulgar joke. Will turn his nose up if you ever ask him if he was telling the truth. "And anyways, the HR girls love me. You'd be fighting a losing battle."

"You're awful," you'd told him with such a tenderness that suggested you really didn't think that at all.

And so he smiled. Decided to cut his losses. Agreed. "Yeah. That's me."

The conversation dissolved into casual chatter until you both made excuses about being tired, or needing to sleep off the alcohol.

Yet both of you would spend the next hour awake, staring at your respective ceilings. Occasionally, you'd look to the space reserved for him in his bed. He'd do just the same. Would look at Jiwon's empty bed and lament the fact that it wasn't you on the trip with him.

He never should have asked you to watch over Bam—but there really isn't anyone else he'd rather have in his apartment.

Then he's thinking about you all over again, in his home, hair claw-clipped like it so often is, and how cute those little pyjama shorts of yours would look peeking out from the hemline of one of his shirts. He wonders what you're wearing; if it's your bare skin against his sheets. Wonders if he sleeps naked after he gets home, if it'd feel like your arms are wrapped around him; if the scent of your perfume would sink into his skin.

It doesn't take long for the thoughts to become lewd. He thinks of your lips, and how they'd part with a gasp if he were to stroke your skin with his fingertips. Thinks of your waist, and what it would feel like to hold. Thinks of your body in a way that really ought to get him fired.

How his lips could drag across your skin; the wet pink of his tongue learning where you liked to be touched. How he'd guide your hands. The words of approval he'd use— Yeah, like that. Oh, fuck. Yeah, just like that, baby. You're so good at that aren't you, huh? You know how many times I've imagined this? You're so much better. G'na make me cum, babe. Keep going. You want my cum, yeah? Yeah, you do. Oh, fuck—

"No," he sharply scolds himself, tearing his thoughts from you and his hand from his thick, impatient cock. "Fucks sake, man. Get a grip."

Wanting you like this is selfish, he thinks. Selfish and stupid and— God —so fuckin' dumb.

He also thinks it's your fault. You're an interior designer, after all. Have made that stupid annexe feel more like a home than the rest of his head ever has. Added candles and cushions. Hung pictures on the wall; turned off the main light in favour of warm lamps that just make him wanna curl up and fall asleep with you on the sofa.

It's so different, this little annexe in his brain, to the apartment that he actually lives in.

If he were to assess it thoroughly, he'd realise that the annexe looks just like your apartment.

But he hates your place. Has never been shy about telling you so. Hates all your nicknacks. Hates the clothing rails you use instead of a proper wardrobe, and the way your beside table is actually just a stack of books you're yet to read. Hates how there's always a cosy blanket within touching distance, and how it always smells like black cherry candles. Hates how firm your mattress is, even if he's only ever slept on it once, fully clothed after you'd both had way too much to drink after a tight work deadline.

He also hated how he didn't wake up with an aching back like he usually does. Hated how sleeping in his own damn bed began to feel wrong, and how nowadays it only feels right during those first few days after he returns from trips; when it still smells like you and the rings you take off your fingers in the night are still tucked beneath his pillows.

Kind of like they are now, as you finally decide to stop being a miserable cow and just get up. You're normally the one who calls him, and it's typically always when you're walking Bam. Last night had been an anomaly. There's no reason for him to call you, now.

It's when you're showering that your phone lights up. Only briefly. Messages, not calls.

JK: can't call this morning, gotta head to the exhibition hall early

JK: give my baby a head scratch from me

JK: send me pics!!

JK: of bam

JK: none of you

While the vomit emoji he adds onto the end of the final message is a little uncalled for, it's actually kind of a relief that he doesn't want to call. Having to face him right now, when you're in such a sorry state of confusion, would have only made the situation far worse for you.

At least that's what you tell yourself.

Your face when you walk into the office, and the state of despair Lea seems to find you in, would suggest otherwise.

By half past ten, you've managed to wrangle Jungkook into conversation eight times.

It's not until you mention him in relation to Jiwon that Lea seems to notice.

"Okay, so?" She laughs. "Everyone knows you and Jungkook are like a package deal. She isn't taking your spot—plus, you're her senior . If she tried to undercut you, do you think anyone would want to work with her?"

It's a good point, but you don't really care to listen to reason right now.

"But it's not undercutting," you pout. "You saw everyone in the group chat. Dream team. "

The way your voice heightens in pitch and nose turns up as you utter the phrase is nothing short of hilarious, and Lea makes sure to let you know.

"You're being a big old baby about this," she laughs again. "Jungkook's gonna come back, relay all of the deals he's set up, and then he's gonna whisk you up to his office to spend the next two weeks drawing up plans. I doubt I'll even see you!"

Admittedly, in the busy periods, you'll work at his desk. In the big chair. The special one he got after his first bonus. The one on his side of the desk. He'll work on the opposite side—the client side—with his laptop.

It's caused a fair amount of confusion before, whenever people have come to his office. Your nonchalance about it all makes it seem totally normal. Most people don't question it anymore—and if they do, you just say the programme you have to use runs better on his computer than it does on a laptop.

Which isn't a lie.

But you could always just work at your own desk.

The issues is that Jungkook likes to keep you close when he's working. Makes it easier for the random questions he blurts out that you're always ready to answer. Annoys him to no end when you're not there and he has to go off and find you.

By the time he finds you, the question is always half gone or you start blathering on about something completely irrelevant and he forgets it anyway. It makes him antsy not having you close.

Neither of you seem to realise it's not normal.

"Look," Lea sighs, minimising her tab so that she can give you her full attention. "You're the one who suggested Jiwon should go. It's just work! You're acting like a jealous girlfriend—"

"No, I'm not!" You gasp. "Don't be absurd!"

"Well, whose apartment did you wake up in?"

"That's hardly—"

"Whose?"

"I mean— Well— His, but —"

"Who was the first person you spoke to this morning?"

"Okay, that's not fair. I'm looking after his—"

"Who was the last person you spoke to last night?"

You pause. Narrow your eyes.

Lea just smiles.

"At least tell me you're in the spare room and not his bed," she jokes—but when she notices the look on your face, her smile drops. "Oh, you're kidding me! You know what you're like when it comes to domestication ! You're bloody nesting , aren't you?!"

"Oh c'mon," you scoff. "I'm not an animal!"

"Uh, yeah," she says, dumbfounded. "You are. That's the issue with humans. Too many bloody primal desires—"

"I do not have a primal desire for Jungkook!"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you've never thought about it."

"I haven't!" You assert, eyes locked on hers. It's almost believable. Or at least it is until your lips begin to twitch. The look of shock on her face is borderline offensive. "Oh my God, shut up!"

Lea's face scrunches up in revulsion. Shoulders to her ears, she whispers, "He's a whore !"

"Okay, that's not nice."

"But it's true!"

Sighing, you slump into your chair. Push your pout up to your nose, and then sigh even deeper than before.

Looking across at Lea with such perplexity anyone would think she's just asked you to design interiors for a rocket ship, you decide you absolutely cannot let this confusion get the better of you.

"It's fine," you assure her. "He's coming home tomorrow evening. Once I'm out of his house, I'll be way more rationable about things."

"You sure?"

No.

"I'm sure."

As Jungkook places his rucksack down beside a bar stool in an airport lounge, he can't help but feel like he's doing something wrong.

It's dark outside, and the dim lights of the bar give way to a seedy intimacy that he's always loved about places like this—how fleeting they are. The casual embrace of a stranger's stare can linger for hours afterwards, consuming his thoughts for an entire flight.

Yet the only people he's even looked in the eyes of tonight have been the airport staff checking him through. Even as he asks for a whisky, he barely registers the woman behind the bar.

Placing his phone down, he also discards the lanyard that's been around his neck. He forgot to take it off before heading to their airport, and just popped it back on after going through the scanners.

It's not like he needs it now. The conference centre is miles away.

He's still in his business suit. Left quickly. Just confirmed with Jiwon that she didn't mind him catching an earlier flight and in all honesty, it suited her better. Jungkook had been so annoying about Acorn guy the entire time. Kept telling her it was a waste of energy, and no business would come from her pursuit of him. She wanted the chance to prove him wrong; to achieve something by herself.

"Are you Leaving early, too?" An American accent drawls from beside him, immediately grabbing Jungkook's attention.

A burly man with greying hair takes a perch on the stool beside Jungkook. Nodding towards the lanyard, he holds up his own. Mitch Ellis his tag reads, and instantly Jungkook is reminded of the folder you had handed to him before his departure.

"Did a little research on an American company that's gonna be at the Expo. Their head marketer has shares in a bunch of baseball-related companies. Get pally with him."

The opportunity hadn't arisen. Jungkook barely even had time to breathe, let alone seek out some elusive American businessman—yet here he is, in the flesh, approaching Jungkook.

Sucking a little air between his teeth, Jungkook nods. Laughs. Says, "Got a family to get back to."

What. The. Fuck.

He doesn't know why on earth he said that, he just knows he can't take it back. A family. For Christ's sake! It's not just the abandoned house in his brain that's rotting—it's the whole damn thing. Stupid .

Pursing his lips in approval, Mitch nods. Lends an expression that Jungkook can only assume means he respects the answer.

"Family man," he says. "Don't see many of them in the industry these days."

Jungkook shrugs. Continues on with his bullshit. "I love my job, but home's where the heart is." Or at least, it's where his dog is. Of course, he loves Bam more than he cares to articulate—but a man and his dog surely don't constitute to a 'family'. "You off early, too?"

"Wife and kids tagged along for the trip," he nods, then quickly asks the barmaid for a whisky, too. "Promised I'd take them to Lotte World tomorrow."

Jungkook grimaces. "Ooft, on a Saturday?"

"The crowds that bad, huh?"

Gritting his teeth, Jungkook tips his head from side to side, then says, "Get magic passes for the family. It's worth the extra price. Trust me."

He'd never dream of going to Lotte World on a Saturday.

In fact, he doesn't dream of it full stop. Grew up going to the Busan franchise, and would opt for it any day of the week. Everland would be his second choice if couldn't be bothered for the drive. But never the Jamsil Lotte World. It's always rammed .

"I swear, kids—" Mitch shakes his head "—All they do is bleed you dry."

Jungkook smiles. "I'm yet to reach that stage, but I can imagine."

Mitch looks appropriately confused. Did Jungkook not just make up a bullshit imaginary family? Surely he hasn't faltered already?

Jungkook clarifies, "Going home to my girl and my dog. No kids—or at least if I've acquired one over the last couple of days, it'll be a surprise."

He doesn't know why he said that.

My girl.

Oh, God. He's going insane. He must be. This is ridiculous.

Those stupid dreams of his had already started migrating into daydreams. Now, they're being spoken into reality. This is terrible. Really, truly, awful.

Mitch has an easy ten, maybe twenty years on Jungkook.

His hair is greying, and there are lines embedded into his skin that tell stories of the life he's lived.

While it's his career Jungkook would typically be envious of, he finds himself jealous of Mitch's personal life. Wife. Kids. God, he hates the conformity of it all, but there's an ache in his chest when he thinks about all that he doesn't have.

And it only worsens when he thinks of you and Bam.

"Ah, young love," Mitch nods, again seemingly in approval of Jungkook and his 'choices'—which is bizarre, because Jungkook wants to punch himself in the face. "Make the most of it. You'll be longing for the good old days once the kids come."

It's too late for Jungkook to correct himself. Too late to admit to the truth. To say 'lol, jk, im single, just fancy the pants off my coworker.'

The thought of it all makes him want to hurl. Fancy.

He's never admitted his crush before, not even to himself. Oh, this is all so awful.

And so Jungkook panics. Says, "Hopefully we've got a couple years before then. We're both at the same company, so we're trying to figure it all out before doing anything we can't take back."

What is wrong with you?!

"Oh?" Mitch chirps, encouraging Jungkook to continue.

"Were interns at the same time," Jungkook begins to overexplain, as if it makes it any better. He's speaking a crush into existence that he isn't even sure exists, and declaring it as love of some sorts? Oh, this is really barbaric. He might throw up. Maybe if he pretends to faint, he can get out of this situation. He thinks it would be less mortifying. Yet, still, he continues! "Have gone up through the ranks together, but are different departments."

Why is he still talking about you?!

Oh God, his head is gonna explode. It's like you're building an extension on the annexe. He never gave you planning permission, and yet there you are, concrete trowel in one hand, a brick in the other. You're so pretty, he thinks.

Get a grip!

"HR nightmare," Mitch laughs, then leans a little closer. "Truth be told, it's how me and the missus met—I worked for her Daddy's company. Thought I'd be fired on the spot when we told him."

"But I'm guessing...?"

Mitch nods. "I'm now their longest-serving employee and am set to take over in the next five years," he laughs. Thankfully, it all worked out. Hopefully, the same'll be said for you and your missus."

Jungkook's lips curve into a tight-lipped smile. Decides he has to change topic, or otherwise he might just self-implode. "Yeah. Fingers crossed—anyway, I don't think we had a chance to speak at the conference, did we? What's your company?"

As if Jungkook has earned a gold seal of approval, Mitch nods his head over towards a couple of chairs that overlook the runways. Picks up his whisky. Begins to walk away. Says, "I was about to ask you the exact same thing. What did you say your name was again? Let's talk."

"Jeon Jungkook," he grins, picking up his whisky, finally forcing you out of his brain. "Yeah. Let's chat."

"Bammie," you whine into Jungkook's pillows when the sound of his paws excitedly clattering across the floorboards wakes you. You can't have been asleep for very long. A couple hours, tops. "It's not time for walkies yet."

Burrowing yourself deeper into Jungkook's sheets, you try and drown out the noise–but it's fruitless. Not only is Bam too cute to ignore, you worry that there's something wrong.

Sitting up, eyes all beary, the dark nothingness around you clues you in on the fact it's definitely the middle of the night. Pushing the duvet off your body, you swing your legs over the side of the bed as your phone begins to vibrate. Jungkook's face takes over your screen, and a frown takes over yours.

Part of you wants to ignore it. Wonder if maybe you've already slept through it ringing out, and that's what woke Bam up.

At this time of the evening, Jungkook should be at the afterparty. It's unofficial, and not endorsed by the convention, which only means one thing: people are getting legless.

He'd sent you a message earlier on in the day saying that Jiwon was still trying her absolute hardest to bag the Acorn man, after an unsuccessful attempt the night before. You wonder if he's wing-manning her.

Bitterly, you wonder if she's cut her losses. Turned her attention to Jungkook, instead.

He's probably shitfaced by now.

Part of you worries he'll want to continue the conversation from the night before. You're too sober to even consider flirting.

Sliding across to answer, you hold the phone to your ear and you begin to walk in the direction of wherever Bam may be.

"Yeah?" You croak down the phone, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand.

"You sound chirpy," he teases.

Bizarrely, you think he sounds sober. "Fuck off."

"Charming. Undo the bolt on the door," Jungkook demands down the line, but there's almost an echo, as if he's just in the other room or something like that.

Your feet softly pad into the living room, the darkness not much of a hindrance. You know his apartment like the back of your hand; the veins, the freckles, the grooves dappled in your skin below your knuckles. All it takes is a couple of steps for you to reach the light switch, and absolutely zero thought for you to flick it on.

"Hm?" You mumble a confused sound as light bursts into the room. Your eyes squeeze together, a groan catching in your throat. Blinking once, twice, you adjust quickly. Spot Bam by the entryway, looking up at the door expectantly. One of his paws taps at the steel, a soft whine trembling on his lips. Turning your attention back to Jungkook, you say, "What?"

"'I'm home, gremlin," Jungkook softly smiles down the phone. "Let me in."

"But it-" You begin to protest, knowing that his flight isn't until tomorrow.

Jungkook doesn't care to explain himself. Is just as tired as you sound.

"Let me in."

You don't need to be told twice.

He's home.

It shouldn't make you feel the way that it does, all warm and content.

But it does, and for a moment, you let yourself indulge in the sensation of welcoming Jungkook right back to where he belongs.

Hanging up, you place your phone on the kitchen counter, reaching out to scratch Bam's head when you get to the door.

"Is it daddy, huh?" You ask him as he continues to paw at the door. There's a small metallic click as you unthread the bolt, which is quickly replaced by a robotic beep as you press the easy-release button for the latch.

Before you can even properly open the door, the handle is being pressed down from the outside. The sound of Jungkook's hushed voice echoes into the hallway instantly as he coos over Bam just to wind him up a little before he can see him.

"Who is it, Bammie?" He asks through the door, and you already know exactly what he looks like—smile so large it takes over his entire face.

You help to push the door open, and find that there's sunshine in the middle of the night in Jungkook's hallway.

"You're home," you sleepily smile as you watch Jungkook crouch, arms wide and all-encompassing as he greets Bam in the most boisterous of ways. He's not making any sense. Isn't saying any words. Just lets noises rumble from his throat, of which Bam somehow seems to understand.

In a way, you understand it too. The mental translation is a bit patchy, but you know it's something along the lines of, I've missed you so much Bammie, Daddy's home now, let's never spend time apart ever again.

Glancing up to you, that daylight smile hanging off his lips, Jungkook's got a glisten in his tired eyes.

Maybe you haven't adjusted to the light as well as you think you have, but there's something different about Jungkook. Something that's making your weary heart work overtime. It's all a bit strange. All a bit lovely. All a bit terrifying.

"Yeah," he tenderly agrees, hands scratching behind Bam's floppy ears as his eyes fondly meet yours. How could he ever stay away? "Home."

part three to be uploaded tomorrow <3

[ar0acejay]

hiya, here's the link to alastor not being explicitly aromantic being discussed on another blog: https://onesidedradiostatic.tumblr.com/post/743154763842093056/apparently-alastor-is-not-canonically-aromantic

tbh, I agree very much with what that blog said -- amir talai said "him being aroace is not explicitly known" which is true. the word "aro" hasn't been said explicitly in the way "ace" has. it's been stated as word of god and discussed and hinted, but it's not been said BY any character/s (yet 👀👀👀)

I think a VA of the character saying "my way of reading things is if it's in the script it's explicit, and if it's not, it's not" makes a lot of sense. that being said, it's not to say it won't be made explicit down the line, in the way "ace in the hole" was a way of making the aceness a Statement That This Is The Character

amir talai strikes me as the kind of guy who's been consistently very deliberate in only discussing what's on the page about his character, so not wanting to discuss his being aroace until/if it's on the page is very fair -- with "ace in the hole" he did also speak about how that was a way of making something explicit, while still being true to the character not knowing the terminology or the identity. until that moment, "ace" was not explicit either

(I don't btw personally totally agree on reading characters this way, considering the long history of queercoding being that one Couldn't make something explicit + that's still a very deliberate method of writing show-don't-tell today, But that's coming from my side as someone who's well-versed in that history, rather than a "I am the random person voicing a character and I do what's on the page in front of me, because that is my job and I talk about what is on the page in front of me" -- but he's clearly also trying to learn, which is awesome)

also he DID do some learning/hyping on aro-identity during this week of aro awareness, so it's also nice that he definitely understands that ace and aro aren't interchangeable and is putting in that work to open his horizons on that front

Thank you for linking the post!!

I totally agree with what the post said. Alastor got 1000% confirmed as ace by that joke and personally I also think that it included him being aromantic. A lot of people still think that ace and aro go hand in hand the same way that they assume that (for example) bisexual and biromantic go hand in hand (which they don't but a lot of people think that) so maybe the writers are part of that group. Also, like the other blog said, Rosie said the "ace in the hole" joke in relation to him dating Charlie and it basically went "she's too young for you lololol jkjk ik you're ace" (which doesn't stop people from being in an alloromantic relationship, people just think aro and ace means the same thing) so I do think they included aro into that scene. However aro actually being in the script is only my own interpretation so I get it if people think otherwise.

I completely support your point about stating things explicitly and queer coding. I think Alastor is extremely aro-coded apart from the fact that his VA didn't actually un-confirm it - he just said that it's not explicitly in the script. Personally, it's super duper implied that Alastor is aromantic but again, I get it if people don't see it. So yeah, despite what anybody says, as long as Alastor isn't confirmed to be not-aromantic I'll headcanon him on the arospec

Also, even if Alastor turned out to be not-aro, I don't think anything would change because about 95% of this fandom doesn't give a shit about aros or aces and just continued erasing Alastors aroace identity that we thought he had at that point so yeah.

(also amir talai doing research and posting about ASAW is so important to me AHSHSAHAHAJJWJFJS) (I never thought I'd be hyping up a man for doing the bare minimum but here we are)

[yummynomnomyummy]

I Know There's a Smoker Inside of Me Somewhere

I just got to 1000 words on this fic I'm writing. It's based in a hc I saw on tiktok. It's not very interesting atm but I figured I'd share it anyway.

Lawrence couldn’t stop thinking about him. His face, his voice, his name. Adam.

With how much he thought about Adam, Lawrence always figured he should know more about him, but he knew next to nothing. 

The blackmail photographer had been learning about him for days before they met. So he had already known so much about the doctor, but Adam didn’t talk much about himself, at all.

The blonde wished he had, then there would be more of Adam to hang on to. More that Lawrence could carry with him through life.

After he got out of that bathroom and to a hospital to recover, he and Allison knew they needed a divorce. They didn’t want to make things harder for their daughter, Diana, who had also just survived one of Jigsaw's traps. But they mutually agreed that staying together would just damage her - and them - more.

Lawrence wished that Adam could be here with him through the divorce, he could have been such a good stepdad and supporting figure.

The doctor was driving his daughter and soon-to-be ex-wife over to the house she had found for herself, (they still only had one car though.)

“Mommy, Daddy?” Diana’s voice spoke up above the radio. Gordon turned down the volume and spoke in a sweet voice, despite his thoughts dripping with grief.

“Yes Diana? What do you need, sweetie?”

“Are you two getting a divorce because of what that man did?” They knew immediately what ‘that man’ was referring to. Jigsaw.

“No, honey.” Allison spoke up, “We knew that a divorce was necessary long before that man was a part of our lives. He just..” Allison paused not really knowing how to explain the whole thing.

Lawrence stepped in for Allison, “When that man did what he did, we figured that it was better to do this now than put it off any longer.” He left out the part that he no longer wanted to be with Allison after he had fallen for another man, even if that man was probably dead now.

Allison explained to Diana that they both still loved her very much, and that would never change.

Lawrence dropped the two of them off at their house and started driving back to his own. He looked at the gas meter and groaned as he realized he would need to fill up his gas tank.

Pulling into the gas station he got out of the car so he could walk in the building to buy the amount of gas he needed.

“Yeah. Thanks.” He muttered to the cashier after giving him the money. The doctor looked up and spotted the cigarettes on the wall behind the counter.

He chuckled to himself, using the laughter to cover up his want to cry. Adam had smoked. Lawrence never understood why anyone would smoke, it was so bad for you. 

Having a medical degree, he knew how many diseases were caused by smoking. Spoiler alert: nearly all of them.

At the same time, he considered buying some. He knew Adam had smoked, and he wanted- no, needed some of Adam with him. He had barely anything to remember him by.

Lawrence had a blue flannel shirt, like the one Adam was wearing when they first met. He was saving up money for a camera, but he had no idea the kind that Adam used.

Maybe he could buy some. Not smoke them, just to kind of have.

"Hey, could I have some Marlboro Reds?" He asked the cashier. He didn't even know if that was the kind that Adam smoked. When they were in the bathroom together he just seemed happy that there were cigarettes there.

"Sure man." He turned around to grab a pack and threw them on the counter between them. "$3.75."

Lawrence pulled the money out of his wallet and handed it over before he grabbed the pack. Back in the parking lot he threw the pack in the cupholder before he filled up his car and left.

He glanced at the pack in the cup holder occasionally. He hated that he had no idea whether or not Adam smoked that kind. He hated how little he knew about this man that obviously had such a big impact on him.

It was like he was missing a piece of himself. And the knowledge he could never get was the only thing that could fill the Adam-shaped hole in his heart.

He was never going to smoke them He told himself. He just needed a little bit of Adam with him.

When he got back to his house he debated leaving the pack in the car, but ultimately decided to take them with him, maybe keep them in his nightstand.

Lawrence grabbed his cane, put the cigarettes in his pocket, and got out of his car, wincing as he accidentally put weight on the leg without a foot.

Back in the house, Lawrence sighed and took his coat off. Now that Allison no longer lived there, and Diana was at her house that week, the house seemed incredibly empty. Like it was missing something.

Lawrence knew having Adam there would make it seem so much less empty. He would greet Lawrence every time he came home, and be there to listen to his struggles with the divorce. 

He would have loved to have Adam living with him. It might’ve taken some getting used to on Adams part, given that it seemed like he was used to much more run down, minimalistic living. Lawrence remembered Adam saying something about his "shithole appartment" when they were locked in the bathroom.

Lawrence walked by his daughters empty room, his cane clacking against the hardwood, and tried not to look in. When he reached his own doorway he leaned against the doorway. He still wasn't used to having a prosthetic foot.

"Stupid prosthetic." He muttered. "Stupid Jigsaw. Stupid bathroom. Supid…" He paused and sighed, "Stupid Adam."

He didn't really mean it, but he tried to convince himself he did. He wanted to forget all about the trap he was in, so he didn't have to feel the ache of missing Adam, of not fulfilling his promise.

But he felt the pack of cigarettes in his pocket and knew he would never be able to. He walked over to his bed with moderate difficulty and sat on top of the covers.

[kamyru]

Not a Demon (Daimon Togo x MC) (Scenario)

Summary: People are afraid of Togo "The Demon" Daimon and he knows it. He also knows for sure that no one is going to ask, but if someone does ask him when he has fallen in love with his wife, he has the perfect answer.

Word counting: 1000

Togo was sitting alone at the bar with a glass of orange juice in front of him. He let out a long sigh and continued to tell himself that he was putting up with all the drunkards from his company in such a perfect state of mind only because he was driving. He was already too old for a blackout in front of the people he would see for years ahead and too experienced to have the naivety to think that alcohol would make him forget his worries. Nuh-uh, that wasn't going to happen. Togo Daimon knew that the early 30s was too much to cure anxiety and overthinking with a wild night. Alcohol would make him even more anxious and show him new fields full of undiscovered thoughts.

The architect looked at the liquid and drank it in one gulp as if it wasn't simple orange juice. He exchanged a few glances with the barman.

"Your acidity will rise if you continue drinking plain orange juice," the young man said while pouring water into another glass. Togo rolled his eyes and pointed his thumb at his back without turning to his colleagues, who definitely wouldn't remember the night. At least, it was easier to imagine something alcoholic while looking at the water instead of the orange juice. So, the loop of convincing himself why he didn't touch anything alcoholic continued for the tenth time. However, it wasn't meant to get to the eleventh because a person appeared out of nowhere to bother his peace.

"You know, I think people are wrong," the person finally said in a very soft voice. For a second, the architect doubted that it was addressed to him. There was no way someone would voluntarily talk with him like this. However, when he turned towards the speaker, their eyes met. It was one of the newbies of the company that worked under him. What could he say about her aside from the fact that she was a hard-working newbie with big dreams? She irritated him from time to time with her rookie mistakes, but he tried his best not to show it, afraid to scare her naivety away. "I respect people from our company," she continued when she understood that she got his attention, "and those who named you," MC added barely audible, "but I still think they are wrong."

Togo Daimon turned his entire body towards the speaker. He couldn't smell any alcohol from her, but there was no way someone sober would talk to him like this. There was no way a sober subordinate would be talking willingly to him. So, his interest peaked.

"You're not a demon," the girl continued.

And for a second, Togo Daimon thought that the barman had poured pure alcohol into his glass. However, he checked the liquid and remembered that he hadn't touched it. Was there something in the orange juice?

"You're so kind, understanding, smart, and inspirational that at the beginning, you were the only reason I didn't give up. I cried every night, even if it was my dream to work here, but when I woke up, I knew that I'd see you at work, and it made me keep going. So, I don't understand why you got the nickname."

A tilt of pink colored MC's cheeks. Yet, she was smiling with the purest smile The Demon had seen in years. It made him want to protect this newbie. And right next to her cheek, something peaked Togo's attention. It was a strand of hair that tickled MC's temple. He wanted to put it away and clear his view of the girl's profile. But Togo Daimon couldn't do it. He knew her words triggered something inside him that wanted to make it. And Togo Daimon knew if he did it, the strand would trigger the will to kiss her. But he couldn't. What if she was drunk? He couldn't get so soft only because of a compliment, even if the woman in front of him was extremely pretty.

"You're not a demon. You're just Togo Daimon," the girl continued in such a whisper that the man felt the urge to get a reality check. His name was spoken in such a way by someone like her? There was no way, no way. Togo Daimon felt how all the alcohol the people around him had drank that night hit him. His face was burning, and he couldn't think straight. Moreover, he was sure he wouldn't walk straight either.

"Thank you for everything," MC continued and gave Togo something new - her brightest smile. Now he didn't want to kiss her lips: it would crush the priceless view. He wanted to hug her or kiss her forehead, to give her something as pure as her smile.

"MC!" another voice appeared out of nowhere and put Togo's thoughts in order. "Let's go home!"

The Demon was sure that the woman who yelled after the angel in front of him was drunk enough not to remember anything the next day.

"I'm sorry, I'm the destignated driver today," MC gave Daimon another of her smiles, but it looked more like her professional one. Togo clenched his teeth. He didn't want to be alone again. He didn't want to be without MC. So, he played on his impulses and caught her fragile wrist. When the girl looked at him as if they were at work and he asked her to make something the university didn't teach them, he had to think fast.

"You can't drive under the influence," The Demon mumbled.

"I have never touched anything stronger than a Cola today," the newbie chuckled and showed him the keys to her friend's car.

So, Togo Daimon let go of MC's hand, but that was when he understood that there was no way he would let go of her. Her smile and pure soul had to be protected. And if she trusted him enough to show them, it meant it was his duty.

[enhaheeseung]

or maybe i'm just getting carried away 😂 idek if i can handle writing on top of my 2 jobs and making fanart, esp if i somehow manage to build an audience.

not that that's required! it'd just be nice to interact with people about smut and kinks and stuff outside of anon asks 🤷‍♀️

anyway, sorry for dumping this on you! (though i'd honestly still like to know about starting a fic blog... just in case)

- 🐋

So I’ll tell you how I started first and then I’ll throw in a few tips (but I’m definitely not who you should be asking about this lol)

When I first started I had no idea what I was even doing I didn’t know how to put links I didn’t know about proper warnings or how to add tags and images so I basically started from scratch with no knowledge

Which was highly frustrating at first but when my first fic reached 100 notes all of it seemed worth it

So I used that as motivation to continue writing fics and I slowly starting building an audience however just cause i got followers doesn’t mean my writing got better if anything it kinda got worse but I didn’t ponder on it any longer cause I knew I was capable of writing better than that

That being said it’s basically trial and error so don’t get discouraged when some works get more notes than the others sometimes it’s just cause it doesn’t show up in the tags (for whatever reason)

Bestie an audience is definitely a requirement (for me) I literally almost deactivated because of the lack of interaction I had cause basically if no one is reading what I post there was no point to even create a account and post it

As of late my notes and followers have decreased like crazy which is very discouraging to me and I haven’t had motivation to write for a long time and it’s hard to look past and keep writing but I’m trying

I know I’m getting ahead of myself when I say that seeings how you haven’t even started yet but I just want you to know some of the things that can happen after you start posting.

At first I thought it was fun just posting story’s for your bias and interacting with people however it’s not that cut and dry.

You might possibly have droughts where you don’t know what to write or how to write it which is was also very discouraging for me

In the beginning I didn’t realize how much effort you really had to put into writing even if it is something as unserious as smut is you still have to do research

Since I’ve been writing I’ve searched all kinds of things such as mental illness pregnancy sex positions you name it

So if you have an idea for a fic it’s not as easy to write it down on paper as it is to imagine it sometimes the wording is the hardest part of writing

Another big problem I faced was when I would read others work and compare myself to them wondering how they were getting so many likes and had so many followers yet I didn’t

That was just me being stupid though cause not everything I write is for everyone and look at me now 2300 followers and multiple fics with 1000+ notes

Not sure if I’m the only one who experienced this but it did effect my mental health in a way I was constantly trying to think of plots and I’d bang out 10k words in a day without rest and after awhile that had taken a toll on me especially with working and barely sleeping

And of course if any of this ever happens and you get discouraged you could always quit writing (I should have but I’m way too hard headed for that) but if something is causing you more harm than good I’d say drop it

I know I said way more than I should have but I’d just like to give you a little idea of how I started my journey

So now for a few tips I’d suggest starting with shorter fics to get comfortable with people seeing your content

Oh that’s another thing I was (and still am nervous about people seeing what my mind conjures up lol) but everyone that I’ve encountered has always been nice except a few hateful anons every now and then which I think every writer has atleast three hate anons so don’t sweat it

Second I’d find a plot that’s easier to write about that you don’t have to do so much research on to make it a better first experience for your first post

I’d find something that’s unique to you as well rather that be a nickname or saying.

So for me at the end of my post I’ll say have a good day / night and that quickly caught on with my followers as well something else was every time I changed my theme I’d change my heart color emoji so if I used blue my followers would use blue and if I used brown they would use brown etc so I think that’s a cute way to interact and have your own unique little signature

Before any of this though make sure you have a good understanding on how the app works (which I’m sure you do cause you post fanart) just learn as much as possible before posting it’s not like it’s the end of the world if you make a mistake but it’s a lot better knowing how to avoid those mistakes (also look at the structure of other blogs that helped me a lot)

So now I’ll break it down to some key points that I’ve covered throughout this post and things that I think a lot of us writer’s experience at some point

1 learn as much as you can before posting so you don’t hit a sang along the way and get caught up

2 don’t get discouraged if all your works do not do good everytime you post cause we’ve all been there no matter how many followers you have

3 don’t let numbers get to you they will come eventually just don’t give up

4 don’t compare yourself to other writers you’re good enough in your own way

5 do your research

6 you get a few haters but that’s just life

7 make something unique for your blog something that people will remember you by

8 be careful and don’t think too much while writing it’s supposed to be fun and if you ever don’t enjoy it take a break/ stop

9 if your first fic isn’t good don’t worry you get better with time and I’m living proof of that (let’s not mention my first fics lol)

10 if you have a plot but you’re not sure about it just post it it’s normal to feel nervous but just know most of the time it’ll be received well

I know I sound like a hypocrite cause I still even face some of these problems now but I just wanted to give you insight of what can happen along the way and that there’s more to fic writing than meets the eye

However this is just speaking from my personal experience you may never run into have of these problems but still

Anyways I hope I’ve helped in some way and I’m not just rambling on and on

And don’t apologize bestie there’s no need I love helping people if you have anymore questions feel free to ask🤍

One more thing I hope this didn’t scare you away from writing cause like I said this is just my personal experience

[rigelmejo]

glossika japanese app course: 2000 sentences so far, still A1 level category

Okay well. I'm 2000 sentences into glossika japanese app course, it's still A1 level. My guess is... 2500 sentences in A1, 2500 in A2, 1000 sentences in B1, 600 sentences in B2, 100 sentences in C1. Since glossika has 6700+ sentences supposedly. This is me totally guessing with no actual idea, so keep in mind they might actually distribute the sentences in a more 'even' way. But I heard some glossika app courses had barely any sentences in the upper levels, and that makes me guess glossika's japanese course may be similar. Based on the vocabulary taught... I very much am predicting I'll mostly only be learning the basics.

I'll be happily surprised if it ends up covering MORE than the (free) Japanese core 2k anki deck. I'll be incredibly surprised if it covers most of what's in the free Japanese core 6k anki deck. In fact I'll congratulate glossika for making a japanese course that Actually teaches some intermediate level stuff, because if I can bridge from this into reading I would be THRILLED.

However, from what I've seen so far, all 2000 sentences so far, they are indeed 'A1' sentences and vocabulary. From what I've learned so far, I could not pass a N5 test. And I'd say I'm aiming for like an N3 level ish area of knowledge if I'd like to read/listen more comfortably than I currently do (although still with difficulty).

The two praises I'll give glossika: I like the listening mode structure and deeply wish more resources had this option, and I think despite being BRUTAL on true beginners - the random grammar in every sentence is making me (an upper beginner/mixed bag self learner) much better at interpreting the meaning of sentences more quickly and intuitively. The flip side of this is: free japanese core 2/6k anki deck would also have this benefit eventually (once you see ENOUGH varied grammar), clozemaster app has this benefit immediately just like glossika (and their sentences are around the same quality as glossika), reading a lot would give you enough grammar exposure to help with this (if you prefer reading), just listening a LOT would give you enough grammar exposure to help with this, and of course OLD glossika cd lessons you can get from a library for free or find mp3s of online has this same benefit. So the listening mode structure of lessons is glossika's... only unique plus.... and even then, many audio-only options are available, I am just so fucking lazy I don't want to figure out my review times and stuff, so glossika is just that Bit more convenient with it's app figuring out scheduling for me... versus japaneseaudiolessons.com (free) or old glossika cd course (easy to find free) which have the same audio benefit you just have to schedule when to study new/review yourself.

So yeah. In short, do I recommend glossika? Not for japanese. Unless the listening lesson structure is 1. really really worth using to you, and helps get you to study more since you don't have to plan as much. 2. you're not a true beginner, so you can figure out the sentence grammar yourself. 3. you're still enough of a beginner that learning the first few thousand frequent words is useful. 4. the price point doesn't deter you. (because there are free alternatives).

Now, the longer thoughts?

I'm a stubborn fucking person. And now that I'm 2000 sentences in I want to force my way through all 6,700 so I can give a full review. But if things go how I am guessing they will, glossika probably will not be of use to intermediate learners... but hey, maybe I'll be happily surprised. I'll try to be moderately optimistic.

Mostly, I like that I am making myself do it. I can see how many hours I've done it on glossika, and seeing my hours of study time is motivating. It has gotten me into studying chinese listening skills too (on my own with audiobooks and audio dramas) so that's been a nice side perk of motivation. I'm also bitter that there's no glossika FULL app japanese course reviews... so no one can warn people like me if it's too slow, or too mistake ridden, or too little material taught etc.

It's also kind of a fun 'experiment.' In that I can see: if I brute force expose myself to 5000 new words, 6700 sentences of varied grammar, will those 5000 words push my comprehension UP enough to feel it's easier to read/listen to japanese? My bet is on yes. Even if I half ass it, even if glossika might only truly teach 3000 unique words. (since that's what their old cd course taught so I know for sure they at least should have 3000 unique words in this new app course if they took the old sentences and added them to the new course, and if they inflated the 'new' app course word count with stuff like 'Mike' 'London' 'New York' and each verb conjugation as a separate word). Even if I'm only half paying attention. Because to be real... I've studied 2000 words before, so even if doing all of the glossika course only improves my listening skills, quicker comprehension of words I know and kanji pronunciations, that's still enough benefit to noticeably make listening to japanese easier to a significant degree. Not super easy lol, but noticeably easier than where I currently am.

I mean, I can already see how it's improved my listening comprehension speed. When I practiced by listening to a few audios in japanese earlier this week. (that said - you can get the same benefits with tools other than glossika).

So yeah... I'll keep trying to brute force get through the glossika sentences for another month. We'll see if at a certain point I give up, or if I get through all 6,700 sentences.

Also, regarding glossika chinese: I'm not going to try it out. I can confirm, from the japanese course, that glossika's course is a Little too slow for me. Too few words introduced at a time. I can handle a faster pace. Free chinese options go through words at a faster pace, while still providing repetition of words in multiple sentences: like Chinese Spoonfed anki audio (which I KNOW has more words than glossika), and just regular audiobooks. I'm at the point where I can follow the main idea of at least SOME scenes in any audiobook I press play on, on bilibili, and can follow the main idea of MOST scenes in the audio dramas I click in, so I'd rather keep listening to the much more entertaining audiobooks and dramas. Also, audiobooks introduce much more new words for me on a regular basis, which helps me learn.

Some suggestions for total beginners: Comprehensible Japanese youtube channel is a good intro to japanese if you want to listen to a lot of japanese (much more beginner friendly and correct japanese compared to glossika), Comprehensible Chinese is a good youtube channel for beginner chinese learners if you'd like a listening heavy approach. Nihongo Con Teppei (on youtube and spotify etc) is a good listening option for upper beginner japanese learners, if you know enough vocabulary or kanji (with the japanese captions turned on) to follow what the guy is saying.

[six-of-ravens]

NANO UPDATE: 18,578 WORDS!!!!

WENT FROM 4505 WORDS BEHIND TO LIKE 200 WORDS AHEAD WOO!!

very proud of myself for not giving up when faced with the first real obstacle! instead I wrote myself out of a corner and came up with some good shit!!

bought pho and salad rolls to celebrate (and bc I completed a skip the dishes "challenge" or something and got enough reward points to get $5 off??) and now I'm just gonna chill and watch twin peaks!!!!

[jerry-hornes-foot]

😵‍💫😵‍💫 fucking kurt against the wall somewhere public but he wont shut tf up . uhm uhm bonus points for eating him out after reader finishes until he c*mes 😖 p.s i love ur stuff sm

Omg aaaa thank you you're very sweet! Sorry this took a squillion years I never got round to it and once I did it ended up nearly 1000 words longer than I had planned hahaha oops! Hope you enjoy!!

Please read the tags on this one friends!

1557 words

18+ only

Smut

Kurt Kunkle x Gender Neutral Reader

Tags: dom/sub; dom!reader; sub!kurt; dub!con; threat; murder reference; implication of violence; knifeplay; public sex; anonymous sex; unsafe sex; oral sex; rimming; danger of getting caught; spanking

The car rocks as it comes to a harsh stop. Kurt's knuckles are white against the steering wheel, he's hunched over it, his body totally still. You're sitting in the back watching over his shoulder. For the first time tonight you're starting to feel the nerves fluttering in your stomach, a tiny voice inside you wonders if this might have been a bad idea. But it's too late for that now. Kurt's door opens suddenly and he climbs out, running round the outside of the car to your passenger door. He tugs it open roughly and stares in at you.

"Get out." He instructs.

The slight wobble in his voice as he nervously looks around reminds you why you're here. You do as he says, giving a quick wink to one of the cameras as you duck your head out. Kurt is standing by the car, eyes still darting around in case any one lurking along the back road he's stopped on. You get the sense doesn't know this part of the city as well as he thinks. A block of apartments backs onto the street right where he's parked, and a little way up the road a flimsy wooden fence separates the alley from a beer garden, even from where you're standing you can hear the music in the distance, but Kurt doesn't seem to take it in. Maybe he's just getting sloppy.

Kurt gets you to stand with your back up against the wall of the apartment block. He slips something out of his pocket and holds it behind his back, then fumbles trying to get his phone out and unlock in his other hand. Holding it up in front of his face he grins into the camera,

"Hey guys, fourth ride of the night, but we're only just getting started so don't forget to share this, hashtag the lesson."

He looks up at you, a wild smile on his face. He pulls his hand out from behind his back, revealing the switchblade that's squeezed tightly in his fist.

"Oh, this one's gonna be good." He says, laughing brightly as he does so.

He takes a step towards you, you spot a slight flash of uncertainty on his face as you stand, unphased, staring steadily back at him.

"A knife? Really? I'd expected something a little more creative." You say, cocking your head slightly.

Kurt stops in his tracks.

"I- wha-?"

"It's just not very on brand, that's all. And I'd have thought that a cohesive brand would be a key part of the lesson."

"H- how do you-?"

"And this location, bit risky for this early in the night isn't it? I mean you can literally hear the people outside that bar talking from here. Maybe start risk taking a little later on, sure, but you've got to work up to it right?"

Kurt stands in stunned silence, his eyes flash down at his phone for a second before he locks the screen and shoves it back in his pocket. His face crumples into a scowl as he looks back up at you.

"Well I'm- I'm still going to- Hey!" He cries as you snatch the knife from his hand.

You're a little surprised how easy it is to get it away from him, he barely even struggles against you when you grab his wrist. You're taken aback somewhat by how excited that makes you. Kurt whines, grabbing for the knife. You lean back, holding it high above your head so that he can't reach it. His chest presses against yours as he tries to reach up the length of your arm to grab it. You can feel is cock pressing hard against his jeans as he unintentionally grinds against your thigh.

"Oh my god." You say with a wide grin. "You like this, don't you?"

Kurt pulls away from you immediately, his face flushing a deep red colour.

"No!" He protests, unconvincingly.

"Well, you can have this back then."

Kurt stares at you, cheeks still burning, as you fold the knife over and hold it out for him to take from you. His eyes flash back and forth between your face and the knife in your hand.

Kurt's back is pressed up against the cold stone wall. He moans as your hand pumps steadily over his dick. You go to slip the knife into your pocket but you feel Kurt's hand softly wrap around your wrist. You raise an eyebrow at him and push the button on the handle, flicking out the blade. You hold it against his throat, pressing just enough to let him feel the pressure of the blade. Kurt whines and you feel his cock kick in your hand. His groans are so loud you're fairly certain they'll be audible in the flats a few stories above you. How he thought this would be a good place for a murder is beyond you. He cries out again as you carefully press the knife a little harder, turning the blade a little so it's almost flat against his skin.

"God, you're even more of a little slut than I thought you'd be." You hiss, earning another loud whine. "You want me to make you cum?"

Kurt nods frantically.

"Well then." You slide the blade upwards, holding it so its pressed just under his jawline. "You'd better get on your knees and earn it."

The palms of your hands push forward into the stone wall. Kurt is kneeling between your feet and the wall, his hands resting gently on the back of your thighs. It feels like only moments ago you were standing in the car park of the supermarket, ordering and cancelling spree after spree until you saw his name pop up. The events since then had all seemed to blur into one, it feels as though you're in a dream. The memories of how you got here swirl and melt away in your head as the intense feeling of Kurt's tongue against your skin makes your head swim. You'd thought about this a lot before you came out. A lot. But even then, you really hadn't expected him to be so good with his mouth. His movements are careful, steady, and confident. Its a little hard to believe that the same man, who mere minutes ago was desperately grabbing at you to get back the knife you had snatched from him, was now making your thighs tremble with nothing but his mouth. You grunt heavily, trying your best to keep quiet. You're certainly better at staying quiet than Kurt was, but he's not making it easy. Kurt's tongue moves suddenly in a way you couldn't even describe, all you know is it makes your whole body twitch. Your hips buck into his face and a noisy groan slips out from between your gritted teeth. Feeling your reaction, Kurt does it again, and almost without warning you cum. Its so sudden it overwhelms you a little, your whole body shaking as you twitch under Kurt's lips. Your head drops, wiped out by the force of your orgasm, and you stare down at him. Kurt beams up at you, mouth glistening, obviously pleased with his work.

"Now that's just not fair." You pant, voice still wobbling slightly. "I didn't even gey close to that tight little hole of yours."

Kurt's voice echoes off the walls of the alleyway as your tongue rolls inside him. You firmly smack his ass in the vein hope he'll get the message to shut up, but it has the opposite effect. Kurt howls, his thighs trembling as your tongue dips into his hole again. As much as you know Kurt can't afford to get caught (the lesson getting cut short by an indecent exposure charge would be more than you could bear), but you can't help yourself. His moans are loud, sure, but it's so fucking hot. You spank him again, harder this time, earning a whimpered plea for more. You let the movements of your tongue get messy, lapping hungrily at his hole and savouring the sound of his moans. Kurt's whole body is twitching, every muscle convulsing uncontrollably as your tongue works over him. With one final sudden shout, Kurt tenses and sprays the cold stone wall with cum. Pulling your head away, you look up at him, his back rises and falls rapidly as he tries to catch his breath.

"Good boy."

Kurt offers you a ride home but you think it's probably best that you walk, you don't want to waste any more of his time. Before he sets off you lean in the window of the car and hold your phone up to him. His face lights up as he looks to see your twitter, with a link to his stream hashtagged "TheLesson". You don't bother to tell him how few followers you have, the gesture by itself seems to be enough. You wait until the car's out of sight before you start walking home. Despite everything its probably still better he doesn't know where you live. Slipping your headphones into your ears you pull out your phone and open livefly. He's already live again, a big goofy smile spread over his face which fills up the entire screen. A warm heat creeps into your cheeks when you catch yourself smiling back.

[kokokulto]

hi ! long time fan of your work Koko :) i wanted to ask you what your experience has been like delving into each social media platform, trying to get a feel for each, and now settling on tumblr ? how would you compare each of them, and why do you feel that tumblr has been your best experience so far? thank you for your time <3

[really long post lol]

There are so many things going on in my mind that I want to be able to articulate into words as I read this question lmaooo.

To have a fuller understanding I've talked about quality over quantity of social media interaction here and here. To summarize, I did some reflecting after attempting to 'reboot my art accounts' earlier this year. I realized that attempting to spread myself thin doesn't make me happy and I should only focus on a platform that encourages meaningful feedback and thoughts from other people. To me, Twitter and Instagram was not a place for it due to the nature of its design and algorithm.

I prefer comments over numbers. Something that in my experience isn't super common on Twitter or Insta (unless you're a really big account, or your post blown up to a massive audience). Most interactions there start and end with a like, and perhaps if they are generous enough, maybe a Insta Story share or retweet. The stories are just plain, and it's not often one get's a quote retweet (if you have more qrts, then you are being ratio'd LOL). It's a numbers game. The only parameters you base your "success" on these platforms is through the amount of likes or retweets you have. I am not saying it is impossible to have a good experience on these platforms, nor saying it's impossible to get mutuals there. However, I personally did not feel that people are actively encouraged to actually say something about the artwork if the person isn't a mutual or someone they already know. One experience that put it into perspective was when an old FNAF painting I did got around 1,500 likes despite the account being new and bare. Flopped on Insta but blew up on twitter; it dawned on me how meaningless and based on luck these large numbers were.

Now, here is where tumblr kicked in! Tumblr was part of the social media 'i tried to reboot'. I know that the growth here can be long (the ban, and people left blah blah yeah), and honestly did not expect much from it. But, I channeled my familiarity with tumblr from 2014 and remembered: "hey! In the tags, guys". Posting and reblogging made me enjoy the "tag culture" of this hellsite—even WAY more than before! The "comments via tags" thing is almost a way to give your thoughts and prayers remarks without the expectation for direct social interaction. Some people prefer this over the actual comment section, and it makes them more comfortable to say something about the work! I value every reblog that has comments and tags. Being able to hear your thoughts about the piece, why you like it is 1000% better than tons of likes. I get to actually see why people interact with the post; I'd describe it as having a touch of humanity in the interaction. Actual quality!

This is inherent to Tumblr's design from the beginning. There were no likes on this site before. At its core, people must reblog. And with the whole craze back then on this site with fandoms and such, people just started blurting out comments via tags. Even when likes were first introduced, the number reblogs often out weighed the likes. Because tapping a singular button and ending it there doesn't actually show much appreciation! Being on a platform where the community is encourage to use the tags beyond blog organization is amazing. Input and thoughts, are valued here and I think that's pretty cool. I look at the type of interaction the platform can give, not its quantity. I had fun time here at 40 followers, am still having that same fun at 200+. Probably will be the same throughout! (hopefully)

At the end, this place is still social media and one's relationship with it should be monitored. All comments (good and bad) shouldn't go to your head too much. But, at the very least, Tumblr's design and community allows a bit more of a humane touch when interacting with someone's work.

In terms of design though, I like that tumblr allows for different types of media (videos, audio, image sizes, long posts, asks + answers). Its archival system and the ability to open different blogs is also cool. Customization and markups are really nice! I love how personalized this place can be.

Hopefully this answers your question, and is comprehensive enough LOL . Again, this is my experience, and my journey. It may be different from yours. Just remember to go where you grow while having fun!

[redroom-rainbowguts]

Morning Routine

Grey x gender neutral mc, ~1000 words, tw: implied drugging?

***

"I don't love you." The words burst from their lips the second Grey sat down. 

It was risky saying such a thing to him. Despite insisting he was a benevolent, caring boyfriend, Grey seemed all too happy to dole out punishments like candy. They couldn't leave, of course, but beyond that the rules seemed arbitrary and random. Having too little enthusiasm when they saw him, showing too much enthusiasm (and therefore lying), not trusting the food he so lovingly prepared, mentioning their actual partner (ex, as he demanded they be called), and even just being too standoffish when he wanted to be close. 

It would be easier to follow his rules if they were consistent, but he was regularly changing his mind. What would be called still adjusting one day might be petulance the next. Beyond keeping them trapped, Grey couldn't seem to decide exactly what he expected from them. 

When he plopped himself onto their bed, as he did every morning to coo over them like a prized pet, the grogginess of waking allowed stress to control their tongue. 

"What?" He frowned.

"I. do not. love you. In fact I... I hate you." Doubling down seemed no worse than lying; they knew he'd heard them the first time. Grey's leg bounced frantically, shaking the entire bed. Sharp nails clicked together as he thought for a moment. 

"I'm well aware, hun."

Now it was their turn to ask, "What?" After all this time insisting they were made for each other, that one day they'd realize they loved him, he already knew just how unhappy they were?

Delusion was a sign of hope. Break through his belief that they were lovers and maybe they could buy a way out, whether that be through freedom or the ground, but if he was aware that they resented the situation? Their blood ran cold. Suddenly the bed, even without the usual restraints, felt like a cage.

"I can't imagine many people fall for the captors naturally, and that's only if you count Stockholm Syndrome. But I'm not picky, love; I'd accept even that! Besides," Grey eased himself closer, his weight pulling the blanket off of them. "There's no doubt we define love differently. Everyone does. It's... intangible. But you know what isn't? What I'm doing for you."

They shivered. More like what he was doing to them. Grey ran a bony hand over their arm, eliciting even more goosebumps than the cold air had already. He readjusted, allowing enough slack in the blanket to cover them up again. The warmth was barely a comfort with him this close, but still they offered an appreciative grunt. 

"You may define love as a feeling, but those change. Sometimes faster than you could ever anticipate." He paused, getting stuck in his own head for a moment. "To me, though, it's care. I'm keeping you safe and, when I figure out how, I'm going to make you happy."

"That sounds like a threat." Despite their flat tone, Grey laughed- an unnerving thing. It didn't sound genuine, but he wasn't exactly forcing it either. 

"Maybe it is. But is that such a bad thing?" He made sure not to give them a chance to answer. "In a way, there isn't any stopping my main goal as of now, which actually isn't your love. That's on the list, of course, but it doesn't happen overnight. Don't get me wrong, I do dream of the day you greet me with a smile, maybe a little kiss. You'll ask me to stay, and we'll hold each other and-"

"If you don't expect me to love you, then what exactly do you want?" They interjected. 

"Familiarity."

"Familiarity?"

"It's not exactly comfort, but it leads to it. I want you to get used to being here with me. I'm not perfect with it, but I try to keep something of a daily routine with you. Like now, coming in every morning, bringing you breakfast after we talk, then, since you're always still so sleepy, you lay back down and I get to cuddle you while you rest, whisper sweet nothings in your ear, you know the drill. 

Think about it, if you're used to me being here, then like it or not it's going to feel a little weird when I'm not. Even compared to just a few weeks ago, you're so much more tolerant of my presence. You're being so calm right now despite me being just a couple feet away. And my love," 

Grey leaned in, pressing his lips against their forehead before cupping their face with one hand. His thumb gently stroked their cheek in time with his words. "You're familiar with my touch, my affection. It might not feel good yet, but it's becoming something you're used to. We'll work our way up from there, and I'm more than happy to go as slowly as you need." 

They stared at him for a second, wanting nothing more than to knock the hopeful smile off his face. But their stomach growled suddenly, reminding them that acting out would result in missing breakfast, even in the best case scenario. Grey patted his lap before standing. 

"Someone sounds hungry! I'll be right back with some food, okay? This talk was kind of heavy, so I think today I'll bring something extra special, just for you." 

As he bound up the basement steps, their hands curled into fists. They'd show him how they felt about his plan. With a full stomach, they'd be able to think clearly about escaping- it would be easy now that he wasn't regularly drugging them into oblivious compliance. As much as Grey was studying them, they were studying him; they should have no problem catching him off guard. Before leaving once and for all maybe they'd even give him a taste of his own medicine. Literally.

A sense of deja vu washed over them, but they pushed it down. That's what he wanted them to feel. Of course it all felt familiar, but today was the day they broke away from routine and proved his logic was flawed. Sure they were still tired, but it wasn't anything they weren't used to. They'd only pretend to sleep after breakfast this time, then when the time was right... 

Grey reentered the basement carrying a tray that admittedly smelled amazing. They mustered up a smile. Today for sure they'd make him pay... after breakfast. 

[antimonyandthyme]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written, then pass it to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Thank you Anney <33 Also @kritischetheologie and @warriorbarnes for leaving this in my inbox too!

Down in the Depths We Make Our Home

Well, I think I've gone on and on about my love for giant robots and such and I have a massive soft spot for this fic and it always amazes me just how much it was enjoyed I really thought I would be writing this to the void! I love the world-building I did here, I love the backstories, I love the relationships and characters here, I love the action. I'm really proud of how it came across as cohesive and understandable even for people who didn't know anything about Pacific Rim.

Then Be Not Coy, but Use Your Time

I'm changing things up and including a fic I wrote in the Tenet fandom! Prior to this, I've never dared touch Nolan fandoms before because I thought everyone in it was SO BIG BRAINED and gosh I could barely comprehend the movie how am I supposed to write in the universe? But then Tenet came about and it was literally a love story between the Protagonist and Neil and I had to, and I dedicated it to an author whom I really respected and it was so well received that I just. It made me very happy! I like how I jumped back and forth timelines in this fic. I think I pulled it off well!

Statement

I'm actually really, really happy with this 1000 word fic. I like the cadence of it. I like the rhythm of my words. I like that it's set in the aftermath of an argument. I like that there's forgiveness! I generally write shorter fics and sometimes I worry that nothing comes across by the end, but readers have told me that I do manage to fit a good deal in them. It's very encouraging!

Treading Softly in My Head

I said I would never do it, but I went through the entire 2013 season to write this fic and make the races as accurate as possible, and I'm really proud of it! I never thought I'd be able to with my limited capacity to stay focussed on a subject. I took a trope I really enjoyed (soulbonds) and kinda flipped it on its head, and it changed the dynamics of Martian in a way that really worked, somehow, and resonated with people.

5 Sentence Fics - Secret

I enjoyed writing all the 5 sentence fics from all the lovely prompts I got, and this one was one of my favourites. It's short but I think it packs a punch. And it gives me confidence that lots of things can be accomplished with very few words!

[the-moon-loves-the-sea]

Hey Lid honey @a-liddle-bit-of-tenda sorry I’m late with the good stuff but I have GOOD stuff. I’m still reeling from the show and barely starting to sample what’s out there so this is just a smattering. 1000% agree that you and Darcy @forineffablereasons are must reads. Also please have:

Four times Crowley called Aziraphale “sweetheart” without noticing (and One time he did) (3k, NR, love confession) by @theladyzephyr, aka the absolute loveliest petname headcanon ever, or how many times can the famous cold open get mercilessly improved by more semiaccidental flirting?

Blank Cards and Infinite Stakes (currently 4k, G, mixed) by @zingiber, an ongoing series of ineffable husbands prompted ficlets that has me by the heartstrings. Delicious.

Even Without Looking (17k, G, book!verse, heavenly court case, love confessions) by @maniacalmole. This one had me yelling at the screen AZIRAPHALE GET IT TOGETHER but of course he does in the best way, because the angel’s slow but perfectly sure.

Everybody Knows but You (4k, T, getting together). Romcom style, deftly written. Anathema tells an idiot demon to get his shit together. I’ll never forget Crowley slamming back espresso shots to stop himself sleeping and dreaming about one perfect angel.

Ineffable Husbands (3k, G, nobody wants a divorce but will they just SAY so, nope, good god). Aziraphale and Crowley get drunk-married in the 17th century and forget all about it for four hundred years. Remembering proves awkward mostly because they’re both so secretly thrilled.

The Cupid (9k, G, outside pov, pining, happy ending) by @maniacalmole. Heaven has cupids! Who are not chubby babies but full-grown angels who start to actually believe in love, because how couldn’t they. Even when it’s love between a poor pining demon and an oblivious angels–the ineffable moves in mysterious ways.

Lol B) (2k, G, love confession, Az can’t do technology) by @maniacalmole. Crowley is too good in this, Aziraphale is trying so hard, and all’s well that ends well, even if he does think “lol” means “lots of love.”

NOUN IN THE FLAT (2k, T, moving in together). Clearly the only thing Crowley’s flat is really missing is Aziraphale. Also, the demon is much sweeter than the angel.

Like Fire and Water (3k, T, if an angel and a demon quote Song of Songs while they body-swap is that considered getting together, or maybe getting married) by @sussexbound. Crowley gives up the last of his protections, and Aziraphale more than makes it worthwhile. The missing scene between the bus and the next morning.

Salinity (And Other Measurements of Brackish Water) (3k, T, love expressed by cooking, kisses and metaphors) by @drawlight. Absolute poetry. The inside of Crowley’s mind, particularly out on the Downs, is full of seas and fears and hopes and mostly Aziraphale.

Running to Catch Up (2k, T, good god this is so soft, moving in together). Another take on the bus ride home and the missing night at Crowley’s, which mostly consists of Aziraphale taking every bit of tenderness he’s offered and being shocked to find more waiting.

get religion quick (cause you’re looking divine) (4k, G, first kisses are miraculous). Everyone and their mom has recced this, rightly. Crowley always thought Aziraphale knew. Aziraphale hadn’t, because he hadn’t realized there was anything to know.

Do Angels Dream of Electronic Catalogues? (1k, T, Crowley is a secret softie, Aziraphale dreams of serpents actually). The final nap before the apocalypse upturns some buried feelings.

i'd like for you and i to go romancing (6k, T, they do get there and it’s unexpectedly wholly charming on the way, Lord Byron is used as a curse word) by @dollsome-does-tumblr​. Crowley did know first. Six thousand years of knowing could wear on a serpent, but Aziraphale is a pleasure to pine for.

such surpassing brightness (7k, G, ace!angel, who knows what Crowley is but he loves that angel, awkward revelations). Crowley could have gone without ever mentioning love to Aziraphale if the whole world hadn’t persisted in bringing it up for him. Or, the one in which queer artists throughout history make art of an angel and a serpent in love.

a name for earth (1k, G, a question of names, and the difficulties therein). Crowley discovers that he can’t say heavenly names any more. Aziraphael of the Eastern Gate decides he could be just Aziraphale, on earth.

Old Habits (1k, T, retirement, sofas and sleepy snakes). A slice of a slower life on the Downs.

Morning Has Broken (3k, T, grief, queer turn-of-the-century London and its devastations and the comfort of mourning with someone who listens) by @dwarven-beard-spores. While Crowley’d slept, Aziraphale alone had found some mortal friends. And then he’d lost them.

Is That All There Is? (Saint Paul’s Surviv es) (1k, T, the blitz, mourning and slow dancing and confessions) by @azfellandco. Aziraphale has thought he’d needed Crowley more, but war broke the serpent down with the city.

There are so many more fics that deserve attention—that’s a start. This fandom is fantastic. @thegoodomensdumpster I believe you asked to be tagged in recs so here you go! 💛

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [okay so we said that JJ have gone to get the PE shit and are casually having a 🚬 and the teacher is like go see what the hold up is and Ella volunteers cos 1000% that bitch and she of course starts a vague rumour about them being saucy with it] Janis: are the boys saying shit Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: fuck's sake Janis: right, how do you wanna deal from your end Janis: 'cos you can say shit or you can slag me off like you'd never, either way, your move, new boy Jimmy: how do you want me to? Jimmy: I could give a shit what gets said about me Janis: alright, just say nothing then Janis: I'll deck her Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hardly Jimmy: nowt close to a challenge my end Jimmy: and it ain't like you'll have one flooring her Janis: still can't get her to take it back Janis: have to force feed her or some shit for that Jimmy: and what? you've got a missus waiting at home that'll be 💔 you were at it with someone else in the sport's cupboard? Janis: Fuck off Janis: if I've got to explain sexism to you then cba Janis: no one's chatting shit on your name like they are mine Jimmy: I bet lasses are, 'cause I shouldn't have touched you with a barge pole or some bollocks Jimmy: hang on, I'll check Jimmy: [DMs] Janis: and what? Janis: I didn't start it, take it up with Blondie Jimmy: I don't care what any dickhead in this shithole reckons, it's your problem if you do Jimmy: that's what Janis: Don't need your groundbreaking hot take to know that, tah Jimmy: stop whinging at me then, tah Janis: I ain't, do one Janis: I was checking you weren't making it worse for me, that's it Jimmy: job done Jimmy: and there'll be a new #scandal tomorrow so no need to check in with me again Janis: you reckon, new boy? Janis: you'll be lucky if another kid joins before you leave yourself Jimmy: I'll be leaving myself soon as Jimmy: you'll be lucky if it ain't you and 👑💀 stuck doing the project Janis: mistaking me for the bitch that cares about her A Jimmy: nah, I weren't Jimmy: the 😎 ain't prescription Janis: i'd get her to spread that it is Janis: don't wanna shout about how that look is a choice Jimmy: you ain't that bad that I feel the need, looks wise at least Janis: great Jimmy: any road, my brother's deaf, if I start spreading that shit about they'll be asking my sister if she's got a fake leg or some bollocks Jimmy: be a bit rude to her Janis: I'm not gonna chat shit on your unfortunate genetics, don't worry Janis: can't rival mine anyway Jimmy: @iantaylor8 if you wanna have a go Janis: unless he has his own law firm, I'm not bothered Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: obviously, we had a great time amongst the unwashed bibs and muddy footballs Jimmy: surprised she could get the door open Jimmy: 💀💪 Janis: got that burst of adrenaline knowing she'd get extra treats from her master for it Janis: could've been in there alone, obviously helps other people give more of a fuck that it was you Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: so yeah, it is your fault, cheers Jimmy: didn't send myself or force you to have that 🚬 off me, mate Janis: not my go-to defense story Janis: crying rape might seem kinda cute but I'm alright Jimmy: funny Jimmy: you ain't that cute I NEED to fuck you mid P.E Janis: oh no Janis: let me go cry into the nearest 🏀 Jimmy: the mats would be a better shout, they've managed all that 💦 Janis: oh yeah, bring up the mats Janis: not heard enough about what a romantic setting they are Jimmy: soz, next time I'll assault you in the 🚽 Janis: even better Janis: I'll just stay in there and set up shop Jimmy: 💕 Janis: should've picked an option with a racket Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: work too, fair heft behind that Jimmy: bit of class an' all Jimmy: rich girl won't have nowt to whinge about Janis: 'cos I've proved well classy Jimmy: will do with a full orchestra behind your rampage Janis: I'll find a music nerd in these DMs Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: beats Mia suing me 'cos I killed her girlfriend Jimmy: another'd spawn from Mia's rib or some bollocks Jimmy: she'd be alright Jimmy: if she don't regurgitate one like a 🐍 jaw unhinged Janis: 🐑 don't baa on the way out, new boy Janis: ask my sister Jimmy: You're alright, I'd rather not talk to her Janis: wow Janis: same Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMG Jimmy: no wonder every dickhead thinks we're love's young dream Janis: yeah, she's SUCH a delight, everyone else 💘s her Jimmy: obvs Janis: you're new, so I'll let you off for not being up enough on the gossip this once Jimmy: tah Jimmy: so generous, you Janis: apparently so Jimmy: go on, what do you want me to do Janis: ? Jimmy: you're that 💔 Janis: you can't do fuck all Janis: even if I were Jimmy: Why can't I? Janis: what's to do Janis: they chat shit 'cos they got none of their own Janis: none as interesting as what they wanna gob off about anyway Jimmy: I dunno, that's why I asked Jimmy: but alright Janis: just forget about it 'til they do, like you said Jimmy: nowt to bother remembering Janis: not a diss, just factual so Janis: yeah Jimmy: bet Ella counts her 🚬 Janis: easier habit to hide when you have to brush your teeth at least ten times a day Jimmy: got something else to blame when they go yellow and fall out an' all Janis: set of falsies is the way to go Janis: off and on again whenever you need to purge Janis: I'll float it Jimmy: shame she don't do lads Jimmy: that's a kink right there Janis: she definitely does Janis: that's why this is bullshit Janis: does whatever 💀👑 needs her to Jimmy: I'll live without hearing about them threesomes Janis: grim Jimmy: they still ain't welcome up north Janis: 💔 how will they cope Jimmy: idk idc obvs babes Janis: 🤮🤮🤮 Jimmy: go ahead and spread that about as your official ™ reaction to my 😘 Janis: no one cares if you were good, new boy Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that'll be why my inbox is full Janis: your inbox is full because a. people think you're good as is b. they wanna know if I am Jimmy: if they reckon I'm good they care enough to have thought about it Janis: alright, they're well concerned Janis: if you need 'em to be Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you ain't concerned about what I do or don't need Janis: nah, I'm not Janis: just a weird hill to live and die on Jimmy: would be if it were the one I were on Janis: 👍 Janis: just saying, no one is concerning themselves if I had a good time or not Jimmy: I heard you Janis: alright Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: later Janis: [actually later, like a lesson or so whatever] Janis: do you know George Daley? Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos I wanna know if he's telling the truth or not Jimmy: about what? Janis: apparently you told him loads of extra details he was loudly telling his mates Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: new boy, remember Janis: he's not also saying you're best friends Jimmy: I'm saying I've said nowt Jimmy: piss off Janis: okay Janis: you're marginally more plausible than him so take your word Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 soon as you've engraved it Janis: don't get ahead of yourself Janis: either your imagination is lacking or it's his Janis: and I know you're WELL artistic so Jimmy: alright, stop flirting with me Janis: how many more girls need to tell you that's disgusting Jimmy: how many lasses are in this school? Janis: ha Janis: know they don't do royalty in the north, even they ain't that thick Janis: come up with a new bit probably Jimmy: 👌 Janis: send you his socials if you wanna smack him down Jimmy: go on then Janis: [does] Janis: he's the least attractive one in the groupshot, go figure Jimmy: the 🦐 looking twat? Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: good shout Janis: fits with your fish kink Jimmy: What lesson you in? Janis: Physics Jimmy: that's [a classroom/ lab number situ, don't get lost boy] ? Janis: next one along Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [shows up and decks this boy so that all kicks off] Janis: [dramaaaaaaa] Jimmy: [enjoy the show bitches] Janis: [what are you gonna make of that, ladies, when it looks like you're defending her honour instead of your own] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are though, we see you boy] Janis: [we all do, not her though so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally been here no time Jimothy, casual crush at first sight okay then] Janis: [we know you're both hot no hiding from that] Janis: how much trouble you get in? Jimmy: You've been here longer than me, have a guess Janis: 🤔🤔 Janis: depends how much of a good mood the head was in 🥴 Jimmy: ☕ were half full Jimmy: might be 🥃🥃 or 🥃🥃🥃 depending on his measures Janis: either way, bet you have to write him an apology Janis: always make you do that Jimmy: [shows her his 🦐 doodles all over said apology] Jimmy: ✔ Janis: 😏 sincere Jimmy: Am I supposed to invite him out for a 🦐🍛 or what? Janis: no Janis: he'll 😢 and with his eye how it is now, might explode from the pressure Jimmy: can either handle a #ladsnightout or you can't Janis: poor shrimpy Janis: he looks better for the swelling, honestly Jimmy: might write me a thank you note Jimmy: been after a pen pal Jimmy: 💕 Janis: figures Jimmy: ? Janis: artistic Janis: prefer 🖋 over 🗣 Jimmy: nah, just northern Jimmy: can barely write and I need the practice Janis: tell the head that, she can tell her bosses, and they'll get you out of detention Jimmy: 👍 Janis: success story ⭐ Jimmy: my dad will be dead proud Janis: buzzing Jimmy: what am I missing then? Janis: a sense of purpose? Janis: your keys? Janis: what? Jimmy: what 🗨 dickhead Janis: oh, what shrimpdick said? Janis: just more bollocks than I'd heard already Janis: if it were bad before, it's ��� now Jimmy: you could've said 💀👑 were in there Janis: how was I supposed to know you'd show up Jimmy: what did you think I were gonna do? Janis: well, see him after school sounds a bit gay but Janis: not barge in to a lesson, obviously Jimmy: yeah I asked you for directions I weren't gonna use Janis: I thought you were bullshitting Jimmy: you're alright, there's nobody about to see me 😭 Janis: probably work in our favour once everyone else calms down Janis: reckons we're both gay so Janis: let her do the work with the 🗨 Jimmy: what were it you said? buzzing Jimmy: that'll be me Janis: 👍 Janis: you didn't get in proper shit, did you Jimmy: What's proper shit? Janis: like excluded level Janis: anything below that, not saying sorry for your 😭 Jimmy: weren't after a sorry off you any road Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and I never hit him that hard Janis: I know Janis: but he's being a right tart about it Janis: make more sense if he was good looking to start with Jimmy: 🦐💔 Jimmy: you a vegetarian or what? Janis: hilarious 🙄 Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: it were you who said it Janis: 'cos my taste borders outside aquatic, I'm gay now, alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: literally Janis: you asked Jimmy: nah Janis: you just curious about my dietary needs Jimmy: if that's a crime, give Mia's dad a bell Janis: 🤞💘 Janis: they're well pissed off rn, nothing else Jimmy: sod catholic school, don't even need it Jimmy: about to get into heaven off the back of that Janis: told 'em it weren't me that was getting #saved Jimmy: you wanna piss 'em off a bit more? Janis: obviously? Jimmy: Alright, what would? Jimmy: I'm here, you're there and we're 💕 Janis: you said no one's about? Jimmy: I did do Janis: a teachers showed? Jimmy: nah but that means they could in a bit Janis: fuck it Janis: hang on then Jimmy: 🤞💘 Janis: [ask for a pissbreak, go to whatever room this is and take a #goals selfie for the first time] Jimmy: [love that because it makes the fake dating less out of the blue as a request so well done lads] Janis: [you're welcome] Janis: get more ❤s than her she'll 💥 Jimmy: I'd say challenge accepted but it ain't one Janis: 🥺 when your boyfriend isn't as fit as you thought Jimmy: if you're doing that face since you've been back, you'll really sell the starcrossed lovers angle Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😒 translate just as well Jimmy: I get it, there's no oscar in your future Janis: fuck off Janis: it ain't hard Jimmy: couldn't hack the proposition of being in my ad, you Janis: that's different Janis: besides, tell me it won't be funnier to make her do it Jimmy: might be for the first 10 takes Janis: she gets to roleplay with daddy to rehearse she'll be 🏆 Jimmy: SUCH a romantic, you Janis: just want her to be happy, like Jimmy: fuck her, I'm giving you the 🏆 Janis: #blessed Jimmy: that's me, obvs Janis: no, you're #saved Janis: don't hog them all Jimmy: one #'s worth fuck all Jimmy: every dickhead knows you need to flood it Jimmy: bit biblical an' all, that Janis: you get sent her to get turned? Janis: hardcore conversion therapy Janis: here* Jimmy: not gay, just fit and mysterious Janis: 👌 Jimmy: gone right off 🐙🦑🦐🦞🦀🐡🐠🐟 but I don't reckon we can call that hardcore Jimmy: or much of a turn Janis: aren't supposed to eat shellfish actually, so God should be made up Jimmy: success story ⭐ Jimmy: like you said Janis: can go back to where you came from now Janis: in the nicest, non-racist way possible Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙏* Jimmy: tah my dear Janis: not 👠👠 but you get what you pay for Jimmy: ain't my fault the tip jar's got nowt in Jimmy: @💀👑 Janis: I remember Jimmy: she ain't changed her ways or owt recently, funny that Janis: she needs the #bornagain Janis: thank fuck she ain't got a dog Jimmy: Oi, what's El if not a service 🐕? Janis: she walks herself enough though Jimmy: she does do laps round the table before she gets her ☕ Janis: not surprised Janis: beyond surprised she can still manage it without the heart attack, obvs Jimmy: 🙏* Janis: deal with the 😈 Janis: gotcha Jimmy: if you can say fuck it today, why not, like? Janis: decent tagline Janis: I'll put it on the site Jimmy: good shout Jimmy: I were gonna say if you need 📸 for it, give me a shout an' all Janis: like IOU one 💘 selfie? Jimmy: sir ain't getting my nudes that easy Janis: gutted Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: call it another deal with the 😈 if you want, mate, but I were being serious Jimmy: bagsied the 🎨 ages ago Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: was thinking, how do we piss her off more with this project Janis: without it being dead obvious that that's what we're doing Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: do you mean us or the #content? Janis: both Jimmy: what thoughts did you have? Janis: well, obviously we can't put in anything that she can run to sir with Janis: but, like the ad, you can edit it to be like one of those no win no fee things like you said Janis: shit like that Jimmy: Do you know what her dad actually looks like? Janis: hold on Janis: [finds his linkedin or whatever 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you reckon we could use his shit Janis: he has a website as well, can take bits of that as #inspiration Jimmy: few edits so it ain't LITERALLY his, bit of a parody, OMG she'll be fuming Janis: right, that's the VIBE Janis: could use his face but distort it, shadow it, put a bag over Janis: you know she'd know still Jimmy: I've been pissing about with hers an' all Jimmy: [shows her what he's been up to because he didn't have her father's deets] Janis: that's good Janis: on the same page on this one Janis: make 'em victims of medical negligence or something Janis: botched hair transplant Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: dickheads sometimes put a 👍 review of their website, happy clients that sort of bollocks Janis: right Janis: and if we make her the lawyer she wants to be Janis: can't really complain Jimmy: she can't but not to sir Jimmy: can* Janis: that's all I care about Janis: she ain't gonna stop COMING for me 😭 Jimmy: or her man for me 😱😱 Janis: soz I don't know what classes he takes so you can smack him and all Jimmy: he'll find me, unless they're both all mouth Janis: ��� Jimmy: *🤞 Janis: least the muscles are purely for show Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: mhmm Jimmy: so complimentary, you Jimmy: I get why your inbox is full Janis: don't need to be Janis: I'm the 🏆 Jimmy: I'm taking back the one I gave you a bit ago for generosity or whatever bollocks it were Janis: I'll survive, mate Jimmy: 👌 dry your eyes and crack on Janis: enjoy your DMs Jimmy: Oi I'm illiterate remember, and there's no need to rub it in, Janet Janis: there'll be lots of pictures for you, no doubt Janis: get the gist real easy Jimmy: 🤤🤤😍😍 Jimmy: might be right about me being saved Janis: 😷 GROSS Jimmy: we'll both live Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: real tragedy that Jimmy: give it a few years to get on the English curriculum Janis: not that you'll ever know Jimmy: might still be trying to pass it Janis: awh Jimmy: *🤷 Janis: i'm well concerned about your education Jimmy: HANG ON, is this NERD FLIRTING?!! 💕🤓 Jimmy: I'd heard loads about it Janis: have to see what 💀👑 reckons Jimmy: I'll @ her Janis: she'll love that Jimmy: [does obviously and sends her whatever response] Janis: good to know she's SO on board with this 💘 Janis: have to keep it up if she's gonna be so 😭 😤 Jimmy: if she can't have us, next best, obvs Janis: now she knows how poor Ella feels Jimmy: what the fuck is going on there? Janis: if she ain't in love with her idk Janis: she don't need her to buy her shit Jimmy: I'll have to @ her an' all Janis: fill your boots sherlock Janis: 🤞 it's a death cult naturally, so they take my sister with 'em Jimmy: sounds like a bit of me, that Jimmy: gutted I pissed off their leader Janis: well, you want a new 👜 she'll take you in and make you pay with  🩸🥵😭 Jimmy: if it can start a gay teletubby scandal, might do something for me Janis: better rep than 💫💘 Janis: probably Jimmy: what ain't? Janis: cheer Janis: s Janis: not the only one with an inbox full of hilarious 'better' offers Jimmy: you wanna go from 😍😍 to 💀💀💀 in 3 days that's your shout Jimmy: be a record around here at any rate Janis: I'll just do one when you get mixed messages and top yourself Jimmy: take it up with the 'better' offers, more of 'em you can take out, the 'better' this shithole would be Janis: no shit, like Janis: not that much of a slag, sadly Jimmy: you called me Sherlock, pointing out the bloody obvious is my job done Janis: go shoot up and go to your mind palace, like Jimmy: not that much of a druggie, sadly Janis: letdown Janis: said you were 😎 Jimmy: 😎 by 💀👑 standards is bound to be a letdown by yours, Jules Janis: understatement Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: coming from you, that's almost a compliment Jimmy: I know Jimmy: you can stop fishing now Janis: piss off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 🖕🖕🖕 NEW BOY Jimmy: 💕 Janis: anything that reminds you of our glorious leader 😍 Jimmy: this teacher's ☕ breath is really doing it for me Janis: cruel and unusual punishment that Janis: tell socials you're being tortured Jimmy: start me a # Janis: #justiceforjimmy is catchy but you don't have a name so won't help Jimmy: @ Mia's dad for legal words beginning with n Jimmy: 🤞 he's got that far in the alphabet or you're on your own, girl Janis: I'll have to go for the cryptic #whereisnewboy Janis: not having 👀 on you must be well distressing for them anyway Jimmy: steady on though, sounds a bit like I've already ghosted you Jimmy: not very #goals that Janis: oh yeah Janis: 🐇🐇🐇 Jimmy: 🐇 on the boil or nowt Jimmy: 💀👑 rule 1 Janis: I'll think on it then 👻 boy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: #getghostboyout Janis: how long did you actually get in there? Jimmy: #bustoutghostboy Janis: lowkey suggestive Jimmy: 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻 Jimmy: right, they'll LOVE that Janis: [pisstakey socials] Jimmy: [replies that are lowkey suggestive because we know we've started something] Janis: [when you don't even know what you're doing but you're doing IT] Jimmy: [god bless you both]

[whitewoodbosca]

For the MC Ask meme I made, could you maybe talk about 5, 11, 12, 22, and 23? I'd love to hear more about her, hope that isn't too many!!! 💙💙💙

No no no that’s okay!!!! I’m just glad that you ask me about my MC OwO sorry if this is a little late, a lot of things came up, hope you enjoy this ;)))

5. What electives do they take throughout their time at Hogwarts?

Ash didn’t handle complex subjects and learn-by-heart information well; that was why she decided to give a try in Care of Magical Creatures. It was quite hard at first as every creature (except for her Thestral) always ran away from her (bad aura perhaps (；・∀・) ?). They eventually bonded over time.

Ash also went to Apparition class because she thought it was be extra useful as she traveled around.

11. How does their career path differ from what they thought they’d be doing?  Or does it differ at all?

Ash’s parents had always expected her to take over the family winery business and get married to a good guy, probably not what she had in mind. In the early years, White thought about being a typist and settling in among Muggles. Most people encouraged her to become an Auror or a Curse-breaker, though after looked at her O.W.L results, people would think twice; it wasn’t that bad, just average, barely enough to get a place among other brilliant future Aurors and Curse-breakers.

In 6th year, Ash discovered her passion for death and complex structures of the universe, which led her to the Department of Mysteries. With her twisted mind knowledge and attraction to death bravery, White became an Unspeakable. Alongside doing research in the Death Room, she also went around the world to collect Cursed objects for the Department.

12. Do they have any hobbies? What about any talents or aptitudes?

Ash had always read since she was small; apparently it became both a hobby and a talent: she could read up to 1000 words per minute. White was also able to type around 90 words per minute; her fourth birthday gift was a typewriter from her aunt Morgai, who also taught her how to use it.

She also collected matchboxes and books.

22. What's the thing they like least about themselves?

Probably the way Ash had too much trust in people, like Rakepick. She wanted to grasp at the straw, at her ridiculous belief. It had costed her a great deal, including some scars that couldn't be healed.

23. What's the thing they like most about themselves?

Her height and strength! White loves being taller than other people. Ash was 5'11 when she was full grown. Also it is easier to carry her girlfriend in style, or make Penny try hard to kiss her.

You guys can check out the fantastic ask meme from @badeeaswife herself here

[aquaminwrites]

sndfdhsdkjl i relate to #81 on a spiritual level, that is 1000% something i'd do. with fluffy hobihobi please! [also hi hello ily lots ♥]

Downpour

Pairing: Hoseok x ReaderGenre: FluffWarnings: NoneWord Count: 1.7k

Prompt: 81. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?”

A/N: FOR MY DARLING LIA! I hope you enjoy love

Pitter patter. Pitter patter.

Raindrops smack against the large glass façade of the coffee shop as you stare out the window wistfully, the palms of your hands pressed to your cheeks. Your elbows are propped up on the counter as you watch the puddles grow on the sidewalk, wondering how unlucky you have to be to forget to bring an umbrella to the café, even though your roommate had warned you about the weather when you were heading out the door.

You had gone to the coffee shop in the hopes that the cute barista, Hoseok, would be working today. Well, that was partially the reason. In reality, you have a paper due next week for one of your political science classes (an elective you chose on a whim that you only partially regret), and could have just written it in the library.

But as a regular, Hoseok often checks up on you and gives you cookies or muffins if you’ve been cooped up working all day. And you had hoped he would be there to offer up his heart-stopping beautiful smile and a sympathetic ear. Instead, it had rained all day, you barely got through a quarter of your essay, and Hoseok isn’t even working.

You pull out your phone to check the time, and realize that it’s later than you thought. It’s dark out, the moon snuffed out by the clouds overhead. You debate texting your roommate to come bring you a spare umbrella, but then remember that she has a meeting with one of her study groups this evening and is probably on the other side of campus already.

You weigh your options and are just in the process of calculating just how soaked you would be if you were to run home right this second, when the bell above the door chimes, signalling the entrance of another customer.

“Oh, hey, Y/N!” A familiar voice chirps. Your eyes widen and you spin around to see Hoseok shaking off his umbrella, looking sharp in a well-tailored coat and his hair pushed back from his forehead. “Fancy seeing you here.”

You try to suppress the blush that blooms across your face, but you know that you probably resemble a cherry tomato by now. “We only ever see each other here, Hoseok.”

“And whose fault is that?” He winks with a grin. You try not to read into it too much—Hoseok is flirtatious by nature, and you just happen to be the only girl in the cafe whose name he actually knows. “Were you here all day again? Paper due soon or something?”

You sigh, remembering the mountain of work you still have remaining. “Unfortunately, yes. Poli-sci with Professor Lee, due next week. Barely made a dent, though.”

“Ah,” Hoseok commiserates. “I took that class in second year. I don’t envy you.” He gestures to the counter with a jerk of his thumb. “I just came by to pick up my pay check. Do you need anything? I can try to swipe a croissant for you if you’re hungry.”

You shake your head with a bashful smile. “No, it’s alright. I was actually going to head out, but I forgot my umbrella and I’m trying to see if the rain is going to let up anytime soon.”

Hoseok frowns slightly. “Well, it’s supposed to start thunder storming soon—”

Just as he makes the statement, a flash of light bursts from the clouds and a loud rumble shakes the sky. You groan, your shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Maybe I’ll just call a cab,” you mutter, pulling your phone from your pocket. Hoseok sees this and gently places his hand atop yours to lower your device from your line of vision, and you can’t help but shiver slightly at the feeling of his skin against yours, no matter how brief the contact.

“No need. I can walk you home.” He gestures to his umbrella with a smile that makes his cheeks dimple slightly. “My umbrella has room for two.”

You open your mouth to protest. “Hoseok, I—”

But then he lifts his hand, gesturing for you to stop. “I insist. You don’t live very far, right? Let me just go pick up my pay check and we can head out.”

He doesn’t let you get a word in edgewise before he’s heading for the counter and disappearing into the back. Hoseok emerges five minutes later with a grin and his elbow extended towards you.

“M’lady. Ready to go?”

You manage to nod and place your hand in the bend of his arm, and the two of you venture off into the storm.

It doesn’t rain often where you live, but whenever it does, it always seems like a torrential downpour. This storm is no exception—the raindrops are heavy, splattering against the material of the umbrella and pummelling against the pavement. The battering overhead is so loud that you have to raise your voice in order to speak, and you have to strain to listen whenever Hoseok replies.

The streets are pretty much abandoned, the only light coming from the street lamps that cast their illuminated reflections along the puddled concrete. There aren’t many cars on the road either. You figure that most people are already holed up at home, waiting out the storm and hoping that the power doesn’t cut out and leave them stranded.

You hope that, too. But at least, for a little while, you have Hoseok as a companion.

You’re still holding onto his arm, not that he’s protested at all or shifted in any way that would make you believe that he wants you to let go. The two of you have been dancing around each other for months, now. You were in that limbo between being friends and him just being your barista. But with this offer to walk you home, to actually be alone with him outside of the café, your heart and head can’t help but soar to so many different possibilities.

Your other arm swings idly at your side, and you feel a few drops of rain against the back of your hand. You glance down for a second, enjoying the cooling sensation on your skin, and it reminds you of when you were young and used to splash around in the rain in your parents’ backyard. You stop walking and Hoseok jerks back, regarding you curiously.

“You okay?”

You nod, biting the inside of your cheek. “Yeah, I just…” You pause, shaking your head. “It’s silly. Never mind.”

Hoseok nudges you with his elbow, a faint smile growing on his face. “I’m sure it isn’t silly. What’s on your mind?”

“I just…” You glance past him at the heavy rainfall that slaps against the street. “I want to feel the rain.”

Hoseok’s expression turns to one of surprise. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?”

You blush, tugging lightly on his arm to get him to start walking again. “It’s dumb, never mind.”

He doesn’t budge. “It’s not dumb,” Hoseok replies quietly, and there’s something in his eyes you can’t quite place. “Not for too long though, okay? I don’t want you to get sick.”

Hoseok then takes his umbrella and closes it, allowing the rain to fall down on you, drenching you both in a matter of seconds.

You tilt your chin up to the sky and close your eyes, basking in the sensation of the droplets on your cheeks, against your eyelids, and dampening your hair. It instantly brings you back to when you were six years old, when life was simple, and you can’t help but smile. The rain brings the smells that cement you in your childhood—fields of wet grass that you would race through in your sneakers (to your parents’ dismay), and the driveway of your childhood home where you would watch the rivulets filter down into the storm drain where your property would align with the street.

You recall all of it behind closed eyelids, and the memories have you instantly smiling with fond nostalgia.

Your eyes are still shut as a giggle escapes your lips, and then suddenly, you feel a pair of hands gripping your waist and gentle pressure against your mouth. It takes you a beat to realize it’s Hoseok, that his arms are around you, and that he’s kissing you in the middle of the sidewalk in the pouring rain.

As soon as your brain resumes functioning, you tug him closer by the soaked lapels of his coat, angling yourself slightly to deepen the kiss. Your hands rise to cup his sharp jawline, and you feel him smile slightly against your lips. The raindrops that fall against your face help to cool your skin as you feel yourself growing warmer and warmer on the inside, and you wonder if the racing heartbeat you feel belongs to you, or belongs to him.

Hoseok’s lips are slick from the droplets but neither of you seem to mind, totally wrapped up in your own little world. Reluctantly, you both pull away, your eyes glazed over slightly as breath returns to your lungs in tiny puffs.

“W-what was that for?” You have to ask, though you’re smiling so wide that you’re afraid it will split your face clean in half.

Hoseok licks his lips, a subconscious action that has your mind reeling and heat pooling between your legs. “I don’t know,” he shrugs, his arms still holding you close. “You just looked so…beautiful. And ethereal. And perfect.” He then adds, with a shy grin, “Plus, I’ve never kissed a girl in the rain before, and it’s always something I wanted to try.”

You nibble at your lower lip and move a lock of wet hair away from your face. “Worth it?”

He beams at you, eyes soft with affection. “Worth it.”

Thunder claps overhead again, and it catches you off guard. You jump just slightly in his grasp, and he chuckles, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly.

“Do you want to come over to mine?” He asks, sounding a little bashful. “I have an en-suite washer-dryer combo and I would feel really terrible if you caught a cold being out in the rain like this.”

You don’t even have to think twice. Grasping his hand in yours, you answer, “Lead the way.”

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[godblessthischild]

My grandparents raised me after my parents died from smallpox. I was barely 3 months old when my grandmother and grandfather took me in. My mother's siblings had families of their own and couldn't afford another child to feed. According to my aunt, I was spoiled to death by my grandparents. I ate better than my cousins and had good quality coats in the winter. My grandparents were well liked by everyone in the village, including b the white folk for unspoken reasons. As a result, I was able to get away a lot of things that would get other black children in trouble.

I wish could remember those days. I wish I could remember my grandparents' faces.

All I remember is a big, two-story white house, surrounded by trees. A long driveway that was lined by big oak trees on both sides led up to the front of the house.

However, something happened when I was 10. My older cousins would tell me that there was a fire at the big house (which is what they called the white house I lived near). Everyone would whisper how I was found in the back of the 1000 acre property in snow, covered in ash and blood staring at the blaze. I did not speak a word as the neighbors picked me up and rushed me to my aunt's home a few miles down the road. But when I they tried to clean me up, I screamed as if I was being burnt. One of the local medicine men gave me something to sleep, which allowed my cousins to clean me up. They saw I had no cuts or burns. When I woke up a few days later, I couldn't remember who I was or what had happened. My grandparents were found in the rubble along with their masters huddled in the cellar with guns and swords surrounding them.

I was the only survivor. According to everyone in the village of Wetipquin, I was either the demon who sentenced the whole family to death or a blessed child protected by an angel. My aunts, uncles and cousins were split into these two factions. Those who thought was a cursed child would claim that I feigned my memory loss to avoid suspicion. They would not belive a 10 year old would escape a fire with no injuries. Those who thought I was child protected by heavenly beings refused to belive that someone brought up by my respected grandparents would commit such a crime.

To this day, at the age of 25, I don't remember a damn thing. I remember my grandparents' burial when I was 10 years old. My uncle was the undertaker and preacher. I remember the damp cold sneaking through my shoes and my uncle covering my grandparents bodies with dirt. I remember my aunt holding a rosary, and giving me a cold stare as she counted each bead and muttered something in French under her breath.

Sometimes I think that my grandparents would appear in my dreams; I think I could see their faces clearly then. But when I wake up, all I could remember is a dark small women with long straight black hair. She may have been my grandmother. She may not have been. But I'd like to think that she was. Otherwise, I'd have nothing else to hold on to from that part of my life.