#though this is definitely a look NGL but don't think i didn't see that gun they're carrying. NO GUNS BARTONNN

[mad-hunts]

[spinji]

I NEED TO YAP ABOUT THIS MOVIE MY GOD-

YOU'RE NEXT SPOILERS UNDER CUT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaokayokay-

Can I just say I DO NOT recommend seeing this the same day as watching the new episode because I have had a DAY-

Unfortunately, the theater I went to didn't have the booklets or promotional cups but not a huge loss. It's the price I pay to have my boyfriend by my side; worth it. ♡

As with all my other MHA theater outings the screening was packed with delightful weirdos (dubbed, if you happen to care). One guy had an extensive set of custom MHA lego guys (very cool) and two very enthusiastic Toga cosplayers were so kind and kept me from feeling like a dork going out in public in a Deku wig. All the love to them, fr.

The movie itself though ohhhhh MY~

If I'm being honest this one didn't surpass World Heroes Mission or Heroes Rising for me, but also I don't know what you could do to beat out the movies that gave me such extreme brainrot it got me to be a part of this fandom in the first place. Personal rankings for the movies, best to "worst" is 3, 2, 4, 1.

Maybe it's because I had higher expectations instead of being given the best character in the franchise suddenly with no warning but I did still really REALLY love it. The highest point I can give it is easily the animation. Absolutely zero scenes in this movie feel like they fell to the standard of the anime. Everything was fluid and detailed and so fun to look at. And yes, of course it made every attack flashy as fuck. I was giddy every time Bakugou let out an explosion.

The premise did sound insane going in, and it is, but it's an anime side movie. Caring about the plot is a bonus, not a requirement. I guess my only real gripe is that it felt a little too fast? Very few scenes had time to breathe and unlike the other movies there wasn't really any slow establishing opening. If you come to MHA exclusively for the action, I think this one will be your new favorite.

Okay- I'm gonna just bullet point my highlights because I'm barely restrained enough to sit down and type.

First of all GIULIO!!!

Listen- I knew I would love this guy but oh my god babygirl~

He responds to literally everyone approaching him by pointing a gun at them. No comment this is just great

When Deku tells him to stop shooting at someone, he just pulls out a SECOND GUN and points it at him too

His motorcycle also has guns. Ngl I have expected his eye implant to also have a gun for a moment there.

He is SUCH an asshole to Deku in the first half and I love it. Their dialogue exchanges were so funny.

And in the second half he just,,,,cracks under the pressure so hard,, Man is having the WORST day of his life fr. It's really nice to know he and Anna are safe at UA rn. Poor things deserve it.

Anna and Giulio are really cute romantically, Giulio is definitely adult but he's going in the Deku harem anyway. You can't stop me, I am capable of worse.

Anna herself unfortunately doesn't get much time since she spends most of the movie mind controlled but she's harmlessly sweet and adorable. Anna they could never make me hate you.

I want to smear Dark Might across the side of a wall and given how much they overanimated his expressions, I believe this is the intended effect.

Am I the only one that hopes he sees the Mech Might livestream just to rub salt in the wound? Don't you dare let All Might's name fall from your mouth again, you bag of scum.

I really REALLY wanted Izuku to get pissed off and start naming off inconsistencies between how All Might and Dark Might look: "His eyes are SKY blue, not ocean blue, and while his broad features don't make it obvious, his chin was actually much slimmer, also you got the silver age colors wrong-!" alas... you know he was thinking it though-

Big tiddy mind control gf Deborah my beloved- she has pretty privileges for everything

Actually a lot of the lesser goons of the family were kind of dorky and odd. I loved the energy! Why was one of them literally a D&D nerd that put on a wizard robe OVER HIS SUIT. Most entertaining movie villian group for sure.

The personal dreams everyone had under the mind control? Kill me. Kill me right the fuck now!

Shoto literally just wants a happy childhood with his family??? Where Touya wants to play with him????? And Rei was still happy????? UUGAHWAAAAAAAA

Tenya and Tensei being heroes together STOP-

Shoji with the little girl he saaaaaaved,,,and he didn't have his face scars anymoooooore,,,

So glad they didn't show Ochako's because you know they would have just animated that what if pixel animation of her and Toga being childhood friends and I would have vomited in sorrow.

Absolutely infuriating they broke continuity to have Katsuki call Izuku "Deku" and not "De-Izuku". Never forget what they took from us.

"Beat it, cool side character!" is the best line in the movie. Katsuki does not forget what happened with Rody and he does NOT forgive.

Followed closely by "I'm falling down crotch-first!" And you wonder why I write the fics I do about you, Deku-

Deku being a legend as a jailbreaker hunter is so amazing?? Yes baby, they're so scared of you! You're doing amazing sweetie!

I might think of more but tldr: YOU'RE NEXT IS A REALLY FUN TIME AND YOU SHOULD WATCH IT!

[haysaca]

Argus and her recurrent toxic yuris

Finished 2.1, was a fun ride, I think I have a few thoughts in mind but rn the most prevalent one is: Damn, I did NOT expect argus and tuesday to be more toxic than valenweis. So have a compilation of my reactions I guess.

Sheesh girlie is actually just taunting her to the extreme and I didn't even include her whole jab at her candy reliance. This is legit the perfect pair for the hatesex trope.

Like for a moment, I even thought tuesday was implying she banged and stole kayla here lmao

(its canon, poor argus got ntr'd, source is me I swear I'm not just delusional)

She just insulted her outta nowhere lmao. Though a delusional mind (not me) can interpret this as tuesday wanting to break argus down to tears.

Girl was actually rendered speechless 😭😭 Sorry tuesday she does not match your freak at all!!

She cannot be tamed at all and she's so real for that ngl. I'm so glad they went all out on her lack of fear/fear is her kink because I just absolutely adore unapologetic villains and she's definitely one, or rather a pretty good psychopath since she doesn't really care much for people, only their fears (I think, I haven't seen her story yet). Anyways argus made the right decision to dip, she CANNOT handle her freak.

That's about it for this toxic pair but I wanna talk about kayla too since I feel like she ain't a much better option for argus considering yknow, her identity and affiliations 😭

I know this is just an illusion by the motel but it'd be so fucked up if their relationship was actually this toxic, like the motel digs up stuff from their memories so this insecurity or perception of kayla had to come somewhere from deep inside argus' mind.

What's worse is, she could be right, considering kayla is a top tier of manus fucking vindictae 😭. Poor girl has insecurities of being wielded like a mindless tool, tries to assure herself that the woman shes pining and looking for is not that, only for said woman to be avoiding her because shes already served her purpose for her (I think, we'll see in argus' story I guess).

Though it could be a more mutual angsty case if we interpret kayla's smile as a sign she considers argus as more than that, maybe a pet instead :P (have high doubts she actually reciprocates her feelings the same way).

Poor argus cannot escape scummy women, hope she'll find happiness in vertin's suitcase because let's be fr she's joining us.

Also I absolutely love this particular quote because it's not just a jab at argus' trust issues but also an indirect one at her insecurity in her own image, her fear of hesitating, failing and being seen as incompetent (I think she has them? otherwise i don't really know what the townspeople in her hallucination are meant to signify).

Ok one last thought: I think argus' best shot for a happy yuri out of the entire 2.1 cast is legit with Ms. Karen Kimberly over here.

Because as hostile as their interactions are, their dynamic was pretty funny and nice compared to tuesday's harassment.

They radiate big bully x dumb bimbo energy, a pretty classic and tame rivalry dynamic. Kimberly's also the one with the least malicious/mean intentions towards argus, she doesn't want to harm or even use her, she just wants to eat!

So long as they take the time to talk it out and not point lethal weapons at each other, I'm sure they could get along in some way (looking at you argus, put that gun down and listen to your heart more, you big softie).

Alright that's about it for my ramble on argus and her misfortune with women, shoutout to @jeremy_exe on twitter for cooking up the only anjoargus art I've seen so far.

[redundantz]

What are your thoughts on how the characters were written for stampede? You sounded kind of :/ about Meryl at one point.

Hello! Yeah it was a bit of a rollercoaster for me personally. ⚠ STAMPEDE SPOILERS ⚠ BUT they really pulled it together in the end i think (for the most part) Since we now know for sure this is a prequel and where its now going after the finale it puts more perspective on things. I have OG Trigun brain so take my own opinions with a grain of salt. I think if people enjoy this new series on its own merits thats wonderful. HOWEVER I still think the series has severe pacing issues and we miss a ton of important character moments imo. And I wish we got to see more interaction with uhh actual humans. After the first 3 eps and then the one with Rollo we basically dont interact with any other humans who live on the planet and its so weird. (also my god we need more fun time in this show was a depression speedrun istg) Have a graph of my emotional journey:

Vash: oh man haha this one is tough. now that the season is over and we got a HUGE payoff with him so I am very happy now but yeahhh. Some parts I was like wow this is Vash he's perfect. But then as the episodes went on I was getting so frustrated. Because he just would stand there giving everyone UwU eyes and not do anything. Especially for his flashback with Knives. Which I understand it was "shock" but he basically stood there with a blank expression the whole time and it was so...??? Being a pacifist didn't mean he is a limp noodle and doesn't take action. Like don't get me wrong he did have a few moments where he fought Livio and the Badlads but that was about it. I think a lot of my frustration might be because he kept using hand to hand combat compared to using his gun which I am used to. again though, they really brought it back in the end 10000% and brought it into perspective so I can forgive some of the previous stuff. Meryl: She was made more cutesy and naïve. Which definitely got on my nerves here and there. But I was okay with it for the most part ( im not immune to cute lol) They got the most important part of her character where she is touched by Vash's convictions, and his love for humanity. She didn't start off jaded and roughened by the planet this time so I think it has a bit less impact in that regard. But I think the best thing they did for her is she is basically the stand in ambassador for humanity and its strength of character. Wolfwood: I don't have to much to say for him personally. but dude needs to have some fun. First ep with him was pretty great but after that was just a lot of angry yelling and nasty looks. Like...for awhile I couldnt even see how him and Vash are friends besides the fact that Vash is nice to him. Him and Meryl almost had more nice moments than both of them. I LOVED finally getting to see more of his backstory though esp with Livio that was so great. But I really wish we got to see how much he cares about kids and him interacting with them. All we would get is NOT THE ORPHANAGE!! but we never get to see it in action really. Besides him giving Zazie a lollypop that one time and the flashbacks but those only included Livio for the most part. Roberto: NGL I loved him he was cynical and grumpy LOL I was pretty offput at first because it felt like he was replacing Milly. I dont think he wasnt really utilized to his full potential though. Especially because he dies later. I feel like we didnt get enough time with him or character moments. I think it could have made his death hit harder. Also just a shame that he was just there to further Meryls arc. But i think he was meant to mirror Meryls drive to help against his pessimism. Milly: millyseason2millyseason2millyseason2!! That's the main group anyway. Thank you for the ask!

[vanmarkus]

just to throw a slightly different perspective out there, since everyone's fandom experience is not universal and people keep acting like everything was so anti-bucktommy right from the start. my experience was completely different. my dash after 7x04-7x05 was almost universally pro-bucktommy and in fact i had a bunch of mutuals kind of shaming people if they weren't into it (stuff like what's wrong with you multishipping is fun). i also had a few people throw some shade at me for joking about tommy maybe being into eddie too. so it kind of soured me on fandom for a bit though i've refound my love for it now :)

mm yeah i suppose hate and shade came from all angles and ngl it still does, but i personally mostly saw people acting like they were told that if they don't ship X then they're queerphobic which i did not see anything about, mainly just posts about how acting straight up hateful towards the ship and the character didn't sit right with others — which in most cases were right on the money imo (though i gotta mention i always curated my own dash pretty well bc people were showing their real colours even before all this, so what i saw and what you saw might've differed somewhat)

no one's gotta like eveything, be it canon or not, but dedicating a large portion of your time (most of it, by the looks of it in some cases) to bang on about what you don't like is just unnecessary, annoying and a generally miserable behaviour... like, where is that post about love's opposite being disinterest and not hate?

anyway, a lot of people are gunning for their ships way too hard, like it can only be one thing or another — regardless of multishipping, that's just not how it works and i frankly find the obsession over what others like almost as weird as bigots being against gay marriage as if we are marrying them...

and not to advocate for echo chambers, but unless people come knocking at your door with it, i think it's pretty easy to ignore other people's takes of your fictional, non-existent blorbos yk? yeah, sometimes you gotta mute and unfollow and block people you used to like, but if you're like me, then you're here to have fun and unfortunately it comes with the territory to clear out the bad apples even if they seemed shiny and ripe a few days ago...

tbh aside from people cherry picking what they accept and disregard from interviews and the show itself and calling each other names for having different opinions, my main qualm is just the actual homophobia and racism that goes unchecked under the guise of ship wars.

but to circle back around, i'm glad that you managed to find your love for the fandom again, it definitely takes more work than it used to 💛

[evacado3]

His princess ❣︎

joongooxreader pt1 pt2 pt3/3

Word count: 1393

When the chairman asked to see you personally, the first thought was definitely, I'm getting promoted.

This is it, after working full-time with that dimwit, I'm getting promoted~ And I might finally get a chance to work with Gun! You squealed at the thought, skipping through the hallways in delight, faintly humming a song.

In front of his door, you smoothed out your suit, a brand new one just for this exact event. Taking a deep breath, you pushed open the door. But what awaited you was a little, no, a lot different to what you expected. A smug-looking man, manspreading on the couch, and the chairman sitting straightly.

"Princess, I missed you!" Goo exclaimed, not too surprised when you shot him a glare. Ngl, after working with him for nearly two weeks, it's shocking how much he grew onto you. Is this his manipulative side everyone talks about?

Maybe the gut feelings were mistaken, maybe the butterflies that erupted in your stomach when the nickname 'princess' was used, were simply all an illusion.

Oh, but he noticed, how that glare was far softer than before. How your eyes would linger on him a bit longer every time he treats you after work. How you wouldn't protest about his sickly sweet nicknames anymore, how you'd enjoy his company.

The chairman snapped you out of your trance, "Take a seat." You plopped down on the place besides Goo where his hands patted. Honestly a little confused as to why you complied without complaint. You might not catch it, but his smirk widened more seeing you so obedient.

"I don't think you've heard, but you've made quite a name for yourself, miss y/n."

You tilted your head in perplex, and why on earth was Goo gawking at you like that. Creep.

"Goo's princess."

"Pardon me?" your neck snapped towards the strict man. you couldn't find an ounce of insincerity on his emotionless face. Dead silence rang through the room till Goo's laughter burst out in amusement.

Oh lord how you were wrong, let's never underestimate your gut feeling. The butterflies are going insane upon his laughter, wait, why are my cheeks burning?

"Princess! This is unexpected, but what we're trying to say is ..."

The sentence echoed throughout the room.

"What did you say?"

"I said, what we're trying to say is, you'll stay working with me, sweet pea!"

Hold on, haha I'm so tired I'm hallucinating. Right?

Your face was blank, well more like restrained.

All you were thinking about was should you risk it by yelling in the chairman's face. Though in the end, you'd rather not lose your job. So you took a big breath, "What's the meaning of this?" you said exasperated.

Goo brushed his hair back, standing up with hands behind his back. "Well, I suggested to the chairman, since more people will be targeting you now, there's no need to change and put other people into danger! Right? Miss y/n." he announced proudly.

The first use of your name to ever fall out of his lips.

"Do you have a fever princess? You're a bit red." Goo mentioned. This man needs to stop examining you like that, with those tempting eyes. You didn't even notice he took off his glasses until you finally looked him in the eye.

"I-I'm fine, just recovering from the shock." you blurted out. "But president, does that mean I have to stick with this moro- I meant Goo, until the rumors are resolved? And without increasing my salary?" you sulked.

The man cut off Goo before he could speak, "If a raise is what you're looking for, that's already done. But about the rumors, they won't go out after a day."

To be honest, your face is more green than red. Hold on, didn't I come here just to work with my beloved jonggun, time out, what's going on.

"Please just tell me what's gonna happen." sighing loudly, you lean forwards, massaging your forehead with one hand.

"I'm going to make you collect debts with joongoo instead of jonggun."

Ok, that's it. You blew up. "Wait! Chairman please, you cannot be serious about this!" Man did your dreams just wash down the drain in front of you, yeah it did.

"Buttercup, you don't have to worry about working with me! I'm reliable you know?" Goo grinned, seeing you speechless gave him another level of refreshment.

A fly might have gotten into your mouth, but that's all nothing compared to the bullshit you've just heard. Your mouth wide open, trying to digest the info you were given.

"Hold on, so you're telling me, to work every day plus night, full-time, no rest while dealing with a fool AND putting my life on the line?"

"You're pay is increased by 50 percent."

"Deal."

----------------------------------------------⌫

"Hey boss, it's them! Goo and his woman!"

You rolled your eyes hearing those words, crossing your arms, "Gosh could people stop saying that?"

Goo turned around to smirk at you, "I could get used to this, in fact, I think this is fantastic!" He turned back only to meet the eyes of the gang's boss. Oh how he terrified him with his menacing smile, a signature one of course.

"Jackass," you muttered under your breath.

"Hey, you give me a new nickname every time don't ya. What about hubby, or even prince char-"

"No way! There's no charming thing about you, I'll stick with my nicknames thank you. But anyway, why is the leader quivering like that?"

Something's not right.

"You've got to be kidding me.” you groaned.

The head only chuckled tensely, “M-mister Goo, you certainly are early, would you like something to drink? Or..." he scratched the back of his head. I wish I could tell him to drop that fake ass smile.

Goo checks his watch with a grimaced face, "No, we're just on time. Now if you would kindly show us what you've prepared?" he leaned towards the boss.

The leader avoided eye contact with the towering man, mumbling a few words. "Huh? I can't hear you man, hold on, you do have the money right? My schedule was delayed and I've given you guys three extra days!" he made a pissed-off face, "I was gonna grab dinner after this, so let's clear up this misunderstanding. Fast."

This doesn't usually happen frequently, the sum isn't even that difficult to make. Unless if you're not good with money, but then why would you make a gang?

Do I just have bad luck, still I'm glad I'm not wearing anything too expensive. The crew didn't look too pleased with Goo's statement, one by one they begin taking out their weapons.

"Princess, behind you~"

You sighed while murmuring some curses, lifting your arm and slamming back your clenched fist, whacking the guy's nose. Why am I always the option for a hostage? Sighing even more, you asked, "You want help?"

"Yes please cutie, but if you keep sighing like that, you'll get shorter!" The audacity of this man to insult you while fighting off people like it's such a daily thing.

Upon his mockery, you decided to just not help, walking away from the scene and ignoring his whining apologies. Instead, approaching the boss on the side, flinching when he felt your firm grip on his shoulders. What a pussy, you thought, is he shorter than me?

"Don't come near me! Guards, hey!" he shrieks, earning a loud snicker from you. "You call yourself the boss? Hey, look at me. Your guards aren't coming ok? You'll have to deal with me."

You grinned, one that sends chills down his spine, making him back off into a corner. Goo should be done soon, even if he isn't, he's gonna rush. Just to see the daunting expression on your face when you finished your job.

Then at the end of the day, he'll award you for your hard work. Even taking a nice short stroll with you, treating you some ice cream. Things like this are what makes work tolerable, it's not far-fetched to even say enjoyable. Though you'd never admit.

And he won't stop spoiling you, not until he loses interest. But maybe, just maybe those little butterflies are also fluttering in his tummy. Somethings telling him this isn't just about interest, it's a lot more.

After all, you are his princess.

[loracarol]

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant

NGL I think this might be one of the worst books I've ever read. I mean, come on, the main bulk of the book takes place in 2022, and yet there's no mention of the COVID pandemic? No one wearing masks? No mention of testing before they get on the boat? The fact that this book was written in 2017 is irrelevant; the author should have predicted the pandemic and written the book accordingly. Okay, in all seriousness, the book was fine. It was fine. I think that 'Mira Grant' is someone where I enjoy her novellas more than her full novels - Kingdom of Needle and Bone messed me up, but this was okay. It was marketed to me as a horror story, but tbh I didn't find it all that scary? Though maybe that's just me.

My main issues with the book:

Pacing

It felt too long to me, or rather there were parts that were too long and then the ending was cut short. For example, there's a whole chapter from the POV of some dolphins that kind of didn't add anything to the plot? It would have been fun as a side story, or a bonus, but as a chapter in the book, it felt kind of 'meh', especially when you look at the book and realize that that chapter was left in, but the ending still feels rushed.

The characterization, as can be broken down into a couple of different points:

Jacque and Michi didn't feel like real people at all. Maybe I'm just naive, but they felt more like caricatures of real people than anything else. We get it, they think about killing, they get horny, they have sex in the little amount of space on their bed that's not covered with guns/weaponry. Did we really need to know that about that I think three(?) times? (Also Michi being the only Japanese person and also being super duper into whaling felt off to me, but I'm not Japanese, or any sort of Asian, so maybe I'm being oversensitive IDK.)

A lot of the characters were given more backstory then was maybe needed, and it was filled with 'as you knows' and info dumping. Even the dolphins get a backstory!

The info-dumping: With one of the characters, it made sense. She's autistic, and info-dumping is her Thing. But at one point she tells a total stranger [to her] her whole deal, and the stranger responds with, "Oh, speaking of assumptions, I'm super tall and super hot and people assume I'm a model. A lot of people even picture me naked the first time they see me." Um. Maybe I'm the one who's weird, but this was just super offputting, and I just didn't read this and go "yes!! Character development!!" I read it and went: "..............okay." And I don't even think that it was an impossible way to have the characters meet! Just like, IDK, have them both be a little tipsy, and thus more likely to spill - canonically this happened on the night that everyone was having a party and getting drunk. Or have Hallie consciously think that maybe Olivia overshared, so she's going to overshare in return. IDK, maybe it's me, but I just read this conversation and it didn't feel realistic.

For full transparency, her comments actually go like this:

"Well, I don't know if you noticed, since I Was standing way back on the stage, but I'm almost six feet tall."

"I did notice that," said Olivia. "It sort of stood out."

"Exactly. I'm tall, I'm curvy, I'm a natural redhead - I know people who assume I should have been a lingerie model or a centerfold. Not that there's anything wrong with nudity, if that's what you want to do for a living. It's just weird sometimes to realize how many people start out their first conversation with me imagining what my tits look like under my clothes."

Maybe the author meant it differently to how I read it, but I was definitely raising my eyebrow; the character came off, to me, as if she was humblebragging about how hot she was instead of making a genuine connection, which would be fine if that was supposed to something her character grows from, but it doesn't end up mattering.

People tend to have a rather... Muted reaction to the deaths. Seriously, several people are murdered, and I never felt like the deaths actually mattered. There's this homogeneous blob of "scientists" that just do not care when people die because science! Look, ignore the deaths, there's science!! And it's like... Did the people who set up this whole trip really hire a bunch of sociopaths? Intentionally? No one cares that people are dying? (Okay, some of the POV characters care, but seriously, is that all?)

~~~

Some quotes that I thought were neat:

"Humanity had chosen the land over the sea millennia ago, and sometimes - when she was letting her mind wander, when she was romanticizing what she did and how she did it - she thought the sea still held a grudge. Breakups were never easy, and while humanity was hot and fast and had had plenty of time to get over it, the oceans were deep and slow, and for them all change happened only yesterday. The seas did not forgive, and they dd not welcome their wayward children home."

~

"Sometimes science was the closest thing to the sword of an avenging angel humanity was ever going to get."

~~~

tl;dr Anyway, 3 stars because the book had some neat information but it ended up falling flat to me in the execution. In my pretentious, non-published-author opinion, the book would have been better if the first half had been tightened up, and the second half was given more time to breathe. The mermaids should have felt scary, but because of the muted reactions from the people on board, I had a hard time fearing them. After all, if the characters in the book tended not to care about the deaths, why should I?

[forcebook]

Helloo, back from my very short break. It was calm while it lasted, now time for more brainrot. Honestly though, I couldn't help myself because there's nothing better to do during the winter holidays and I definitely don't want to talk politics with my dad, so back to dramas it was! On the bright side, I did read a book and picked up 2 others as well!!

Ngl, I had watched bb by the time I sent you that last ask, but I needed time to process the mess that was that episode. I still don't understand where they're going with all of this but all I can say is that I'm disappointed. Extremely. There were cute moments and a lot of usual bl tropes grappled with really well, but overall...*shrugs* I mean come on, a gun?? Whatever happened to holding people responsible for being shitheads. I felt there was a drastic change in screenwriting compared to the past episodes, all of this felt chaotic like they pulled it out of nowhere. Maybe they wanted to put an end to the wai conflict as soon as possible so they can focus on the parents in the last few episodes but it still didn't sit right with me. I'm glad there's no new episode this friday because I need another week to forget ep 9 ever happened anfsjfjsk

I am, on the other hand, quite sad about not having not me on sunday, because it's been consistently delivering so far and I'm here for it all. Very intrigued about dan's character, I've heard people say he's a former cop, which adds more depth to the character because he'll know of the flaws in the system seeing that he's fighting back in his own way. And todd, very sus guy in my eyes. Wasn't phased by his friend being beaten up (at least that's how it looked to me), somehow knew that white returned (I'm sure no one was aware except white's dad's acquaintances since pretty much everyone else lost touch or were cut off, that's saying something here 👀), strikes me as a guy up to no good (watch me be proved wrong later).

And I'd love to talk about something that's not dramas too! My taste in things is pretty lackluster tbh, but I've got a lot of useless interests. I love dabbling in whatever I find amusing for the day and never see it through till the end, tryna fix that habit though but we'll see. That said, I've got a song rec for you, it's called 'apartment' by hikaru arata, hope you like it!

- awa :)

WELCOME BACK DEAREST 🥰🥰🥰

i feel you. i don’t have much else to do either 🤣🤣🤣 but i’m glad you read a book and started others! very productive of you! i wish i knew how to read :(

completely understandable. i myself am still processing the episode. and am starting to think that i’ll never fully process it. it’s the curse of being me 😭😭😭

i don’t know if you remember but a couple of asks ago i told you that whatever you had to say to me i completely agreed and YEAH, that still stands. i completely agree with you.

“whatever happened to holding people responsible for being shitheads” god exactly. i wish i knew 😭😭😭

while i’ve always felt small divergences here and there in the show, nothing was as chaotic and bad as the gun thing. which is just Beyond me. i fail to understand the thought process behind it. like my brain legit cannot register it’s a thing that actually happened.

i understand wanting this plot point to be over but there are better ways to do it. like for example, having wai overhear pat and pran but never expose them, let the boys share their relationship with everyone else when they’re ready to as it should be, and okay FINE let wai sulk and avoid pran at first but eventually remember pran’s words about not choosing who you fall for and how hard it is to hide a relationship and have wai eventually realize that he cares about pran way more than he cares about the stupid rivalry and pat.

and you know what?? if they wanted a shooting scene That bad then have wai get shot while defending pat instead of the other way around! have wai tell pat that he didn’t do it for him but for pran (cuz he’s mad at pran but he still cares about him). at least it’s ONE thing wai would be doing for pran, in the whole show. this would bring them closer anyways because pat and pran would take care of wai like it’s their own son and this would give him the chance to really have a heartfelt conversation with pran and they would apologize to each other for all the hiding and sulking.

and doesn’t pran’s mom LoVe wai? so she goes to visit him and finds pat and pran in the room being quite friendly. there you go, they’re still somewhat caught like in the end of ep 9.

this is just a silly example, really. but STILL. i would’ve liked it much better.

and once again i’m with you. i need another week to try and get over ep 9, so it’s a good thing for me that there’s no new episode this week.

saaaame. i’m also heartbroken that we don’t get a new not me episode 😭😭😭 legit think we deserved an exception for this one.

yes. i’ve only recently learned that dan is or was a c*p which kinda sad tbh cuz acab but i’m willing to give them a chance to elaborate on his character and how he’s fighting back in his own way!!

i also think todd is Very sus!!! i’m quite sure he’s hiding Something and is most likely behind some of this. i just feel very sad for white if he ever finds out that todd betrayed him. poor guy :(

“my taste in things is pretty lackluster” same lmaooo whenever my dad wants to talk to me about movies and music i’m there like “uhhh i liked the ying yang master? and i’ve only listened to the same three songs for two months now? which are pretty much just dramas osts” and he’s like?????? what does any of that even mean???

naaah it’s perfectly okay to enjoy things just for the day or for how you feel at the moment. + your interests are Yours so even if other people don’t like it, as long as you do it’s not a waste of time!!!

apartment is such a chill song omg!! i closed my eyes and kept imagining me driving around in the middle of the morning, windows down, wind in my hair, the ocean ahead, just vibing 🥰🥰🥰

thank you so much for stopping by, for making me feel understood and for the song rec!!! ❤️💙

[spencers-dria]

Blood, So Much Blood

Someone To Stay Ch. 19

Spencer x fem reader

Content/Trigger Warnings: Gun, knife, blood, violence, sexual assault, NGL it get's pretty dark and twisty

You dance around your living room, slipping and sliding across the floor in your mismatched Christmas socks. You just got back from visiting your family for Thanksgiving. As much as you wanted to bring Spencer along, he had been called away on yet another case. Neither of you were thrilled, but you understood. You still bragged endlessly to your family about how wonderful he was and how much he cared about helping others. They understood as well. You seemed to win them over just with your stories of how the relationship got started.

But now you're back in your apartment, quickly cleaning up and putting out your decorations as you dance to the Christmas music station. Spencer had sent a quick text letting you know he would be back from the case tonight. You prepared for the fact that he might be too tired to spend time together, but you were not about to be caught unprepared, just in case.

The last month with Spencer has been magical. It was difficult to make time for dates with your schedules, but somehow he made it work. He always makes time for you, whether it means stopping by on his way home after his flight lands, just to kiss you goodnight, or a quick phone call after he gets to his hotel room before he promptly passes out. He had definitely fallen asleep on the phone once or twice. It was adorable and you didn't mind one bit.

A knock on the door sends your heart racing. Call it the honeymoon phase or whatever you like, but you were sure that he would never stop making you feel this way. You take a deep breath before swinging open the door, and you find yourself utterly speechless.

All you can do is stare, mouth gaping open as your eyes lock on Spencer. You don't even consider that you have yet to give any kind of opinion on his new look. You're snapped out of your daze as he stares down at his feet, nervously rubbing his hand along the back of his neck.

"Um 'M sorry...probably should have told you first. Or not cut it at all. I can put on a hat if it's that bad?" He mumbles toward the ground.

He looks up, watching you with doe eyes, waiting for any kind of reaction. You finally move, your hands reach up to feel the freshly shaven sides of his head before running through the fluffy locks on top.

"Don't you dare", you mutter under your breath before pulling at his neck until he meets your lips. He's too stunned, forgetting to move for a moment before you feel him return the kiss with equal enthusiasm, hands sliding to wrap around your waist, pulling you impossibly close.

You aren't sure when you made your way to the couch, but you find yourself sitting in his lap, running your fingers through his hair as you bite at his perfectly plump bottom lip. Your tongues tease one another with each kiss as your skin ignites underneath the touch of his hands as he runs them through your hair, over your back and down to your hips.

The two of you finally come up for air. You look into his eyes, tracing his jaw with your fingertips before speaking up, "we should probably..."

"Yeah" he nods in agreement.

You slip off his lap and cuddle up into his side as he wraps his arms around you. You both sigh in contentment. You had talked about your boundaries together, and had agreed to take it slow. It was difficult. It was an outdated notion, but it's what was best for you and he respected that completely.

"Look at us making out on the couch, we're like two overly hormonal teenagers," you can't hold in a giggle as you awkwardly hide your face in your hands.

You feel him tug at your wrists as he tries to look you in the eyes.

"Yeah about that, what got into you huh?" He bites his lip as he tries to hide a smirk, showing just how much he enjoyed it.

Your gaze drifts back to his hair. "Don't laugh at me okay?"

He puts on a serious expression but you can see he's already trying to hide a smile behind it.

"You know I loved your long hair right? It looked so good. And you've always been attractive to me. Never doubt that. But this..." You slip your fingers back into the longer hair on top, biting down on your lip to keep your smile form growing too big. "This is so incredibly hot! You are officially way out of my league Spencer Reid. I mean, more so than before. You're like...male model material!"

You can see the disbelief in his eyes but he still smiles and blushes at your gushing.

"Cut it out! Be serious, do you really like it?"

You hold his face in your hand, turning it towards you as you lean impossibly close, never once breaking eye contact.

"I am being deadly serious. I already showed you how I feel about it. But if you've forgotten I might have to remind you."

His blush deepened by about ten shades of red as he looked up with you with his classic boyish smile. Same old adorable Spencer. You opt for leaving a small kiss on his nose, and he looks at you with all the admiration in the world before leaning back over to nuzzle his nose against yours. He knows you love this. You're not sure why you enjoy it so much, but something about it feel so incredibly intimate.

You hum contently, enjoying the feeling as you take in the comforting smell of winter spices and pine. He had started picking out cologne that he knew you would enjoy. You had even sprayed some of it on his sweaters that you had stolen.

He wraps the two of you up in a blanket. The only sound in the room is the crackling of the fire you had lit not long before he came over. You stay nuzzled up together, not speaking, not kissing, just enjoying being with one another.

You open your eyes to look at him, and his eyes are closed as a smile of pure bliss graces his features.

“Y/N I..."

His eyes shoot open and he looks as though something has just startled him, despite there being no other sound than that of his own voice. He stands up, walking across the room before grabbing the remote and returning to your side.

"I-I...think we should watch a movie or something. Ya know? First Christmas movie of the season." He sounds so nervous and it breaks your heart. You wish he could read his mind, and make everything better. But you know not to push him. He always opens up when he's ready. You smile and nod. It's not a bad idea after all.

You convinced him to watch one of your family's favorites "A Christmas Story". He found himself laughing along with you at some of the funny but ridiculous moments: Flick getting his tongue stuck to the pole, the father receiving his leg lamp award, the duck for Christmas dinner.

You find your mind drifting to how much you want a family of your own. You hadn't discussed it with Spencer. He may not even want kids. You had purposefully avoided more serious topics in hopes that Spencer would stay. You couldn't risk losing him. But if he was going to be around for the long haul, shouldn't you make sure the two of you want the same things? You've seen how good he is with Henry, and it melts your heart every time. He really would be a wonderful father.

You're staring at him as the thoughts run through your head. For some reason, your mouth decided to speak without asking your brain for permission.

"Do you want kids?" The words are out before you can stop them. Your hand covers your mouth in hopes of shoving them back in, but its too late. You feel absolutely humiliated and terrified. You've done it. You've ruined this. He's going to run for the hills.

Except he doesn't. Instead he turns to look at you, a bright smile on his face. "Of course! Without a doubt. "

You feel yourself let go of the breath you hadn't realized you were holding as relief washes over you like a warm shower. He reaches over, intertwining his fingers with yours and slowly rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand.

"Do you?"

"Yeah. I didn't know if it was too early to talk about but I do... I really really do."

He places a kiss on top of your head before pulling you in closer as both of you turn your attention back to the movie. You knew that was all that needed to be said, for now. It was enough to know he wanted a family as much as you do. And you hoped that he could see that future with you in it.

_____________________________________________________________

It's your last day of work before your long awaited trip to Orlando with Spencer. You can't wait to finally take him to one of your favorite places. He loves Harry Potter almost as much as you do. And you already know he would appreciate all the small details that had been placed amongst the stores and rides. You look forward to hearing every single fact he can possibly share about each ride as you wait in the lines. You know you won't be bored for a single moment as long as he is by your side.

After putting on a clean pair of scrubs, you get in the car and begin your drive to work, soft Christmas music playing in the background as you hum along.

You make it all the way to 2PM before finding the time to take a lunch break. You decide to wander down to the cafeteria in the basement of the hospital, putting in your ear buds while the elevator makes its way down.

You hear your work phone make the familiar sound, letting you know it's out of range. This is always a relief, seeing as you won't be constantly bothered while you wait in line to order your food. It's always short lived, the beeps and calls returning the second you return to the floor with lunch, but you'll take any kind of break you can get.

While waiting in line, your mind wanders to the conversation between you and Spencer the night before. It was short, but the look in his eyes told you more than his words ever could. He truly cared about you. And you really believe he saw a long future with you.

As you make your way through the empty back halls leading to the elevator, you can hear an announcement being made over the speaks, though you can't make it out over the sound of your music. Another code blue in the CCU most likely.

You walk over to your spot at the nursing desk to pick up your water bottle. It isn't until you take out your ear buds that you realize how eerily quiet the floor is. Quiet. It's like a curse word in hospitals. Saying it will certainly bring on immediate doom.

You make your way around the floor. All of the patient doors are closed, as are the doors separating A and B side. The announcement must have been for another fire drill. It's just protocol. You continue to make your way down the hall looking for any other the nurses. The doctors. Therapists. Techs? It's a weekday. The floor should be like rush hour. Instead it feels like a ghost town, aside from the patients lying in bed in their rooms.

You get an unsettling feeling in your stomach. Your pace picks up as your search for anyone else turns into more of a panic.

Before you can enter into the staff breakroom, a chill runs up the back of your neck.

"Nurse Y/L/N."

You turn to see a family member of one of your former patients.

"Mr. Gray what are you doing here? Is everything okay? Do you need help finding someone?"

"I was looking for someone. But I just found her."

His voice is stone cold. Your eyes are locked on the movement of his hand has he raises it, revealing a gun that is now pointed directly at your head. He's only a few feet away. He's not close enough for you to hurt him in anyway or surprise him enough to run away. He's not so far that he could possibly miss if he pulled the trigger.

You work to slow your breathing and you feel your emotions switch off, allowing you to focus on sharpening your thoughts in the moment.

"If you need to talk to me, we can do that. Let's just sit down and talk ok?"

"NO! You've talked enough. My wife is dead because of you. You watched her die. You didn't help her. I lost the love of my life and it's all your fault."

He steps forward, leaning so close that you can feel his breath against your ear before he whispers "and now you're going to pay."

Your mind is racing as he grabs your wrist shoving you forward. You feel the steel of the gun on the back of your head as he orders you where to turn, leading you through several doors and hallways.

They would have called the police by now right? That must have been what that announcement was, some kind of lock down. They have to know. That's why you couldn't find anyone. That means help is on the way. But what if they don't find him in time? Find you in time?

In time for what you don't even know. He probably wanted to kill you. But if he only wanted to kill you on site he would have done it already. It's the way he's ordering you around, leading you to a second location that makes your stomach turn. What could he possibly do that's worse than death? You don't want to think about it. Poor Spencer has to. He deals with this every day at work. Spencer...Spencer!

You need him here. Silently in your mind you pray that he would find you and save you before you could be in any real danger.

Mr. Gray opens a door to a patient room, and pulls the blinds shut, keeping the gun trained on you the entire time. You look for something, anything that can help you. Spencer would know what to do. He would know how to get out of this. But you. You're just a nurse, with no FBI training. And you feel truly helpless.

"Get on the bed!" He yells. You feel like you could be sick. Tears threaten to break through, but you're determined not to show any signs of fear to this psycho.

"Now!" He raises his voice even louder as he presses the gun against your forehead.

You reluctantly lay down on the hospital bed, refusing to look anything but incredibly pissed off. Truthfully, you are mortified. You want to scream, yell, cry, but you don't make a sound.

He sets the gun down and pulls out some restraints usually kept in the hospital supply room, and he begins to tie your wrists and ankles to the bed. Then he pulls out a knife, dragging it along your jaw and down your neck, before placing it right above your heart.

He leans down to whisper "One wrong move and I will slice you up into little pieces."

You feel your body tense as you fight off every natural reaction to cry or scream. Instead you spit in his face.

He wipes it off with nothing but a smug grin on his face. He knows no matter what you do, he still has total control in this situation.

The knife makes its way down, and you hear the ripping of fabric as he cuts through your scrubs. Your muscles tighten at the sting of the cool air. Your eyes clench shut as he drag the blade up the inside of your thigh, just deep enough to break the skin. You soon feel the dribble of blood running down your skin, but this is far from over. He continues in this manner, leaving cuts on your legs, your stomach, your chest, anywhere that felt too intimate to be touched by a stranger.

Tears have broken through and are streaming down your face but you remain silent. You are determined to not give him the satisfaction of begging. You try not to think about the scars that will remain, unsure if you will even make it out of this room alive.

A hand slips inside your underwear and you try to close your eyes even more, hoping to block out every possible sensation. In your mind you are anywhere but here. You're curled up on the couch, watching the fire, Spencer by your side. Spencer, who would protect you at all costs. Spencer who you love.

You are snapped back to reality by the sharp pain in your lower abdomen. Your eyes fly open to the blade sinking into your skin. And the blood, so much blood.  You can't hold back any more. Tears are pouring out as you call for help. You scream in pain. You scream so loud that it physically hurts. You scream until you lose every last ounce of energy within you. You call his name over and over, willing him to appear in front of you, if only to see him one last time before you slip into the darkness that is slowly taking hold of you.

"Spencer..."

A/N: So I included a pretty serious topic in this chapter. I know it seems like it kinda came out of no where. But I want anyone who has experienced sexual assault of any kind to know they are not alone. It is not your fault. And it is okay to call it what it is. Don't let anyone, including the little voice inside your head convince you that it is no big deal. It's okay to ask for help. It's better if you do. This doesn't have to be a friend or a parent if you're not comfortable with that. I have included the national sexual assault help line as well as the suicide help line and some other links. Never be ashamed to seek help. It takes a lot of strength. 

Also, any of you who need to talk to me about anything are more than welcome to message me. I am here for you always.

Thanks for your support in reading my story, I love you all!

Fairytales1896 aka Spencer’s Dria

Resources:

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE (4673

https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline

Human Trafficking Hotline:  1-888-373-7888

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255