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momonetmoproblems · 4 years ago

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On Clout Nine

The Dangers of Social Media Pranks and Social Experiments

Have you ever seen something on social media and the only thing that your mind can come up with is “Why?!”

A popular saying on social media platform, Twitter, in response to the often obscene and unabashedly done acts and statements made is

“Clout is a dangerous drug”.

Lately, it seems like a lot of attention-deprived people on social media are trying to do the most shameful, extreme, scandalous, or ostentatious things for the rewards of the potential impact on each platform.

Clout is traditionally defined as influence in politics or business, but that definition has evolved to encapsulate having influence in online communities and, more accurately, wanting attention on social media.

Over 2 million Instagram posts have been tagged #clout, videos with the same tag have gained over 3.7 billion views on TikTok and, words such as cloutchaser (Bamidele, 2019), clout check and cloutlighting (Nagesh, 2018) have been coined. The word even inspired an app of the same name — “Klout”, a service which boldly displayed one’s social media interactions and engagements in the form of an algorithm generated figure (Edwards et al., 2013.) And, had that platform survived, people would have definitely found a way to wear their scores on their foreheads if they could or add it to their résumé. (Hello, influencer marketing is the present and the future.)

From licking ice-cream straight from the tubs and putting them back in the freezer to persons falling to their deaths from seven-story buildings after failed Planking Challenge attempts (Shears, 2011) or YouTubers dying from a close range shot to the chest during a stunt with a Desert Eagle handgun (Brantley, 2018), so many people across the world are craving the fleeting sensations of clout.

Users will therefore use a sensationalized headline or caption, clickbait, to garner as many clicks or interactions with their content as possible in tandem with the already obnoxious or shocking display, and people fall for it every time. It’s like those completely obvious magazines in supermarkets from the early 2000s that you find yourself picking up even though you KNOW the headline is a trap!

(Just look at these stories. I mean, 2006 Me is SHOOK!)

The development of the internet and social media has created new opportunities for using pranks and social experiments as a veiled means of accumulating clicks and engagement by social media users. This clout manifests in the form of likes, quote tweets and retweets, subscriptions, reposts, shares, among other tools. Stacey Koosel, in The Renegotiated Self: Social Media’s Effects on Identity, states that this need for attention, to share and be a contributing part of the online community:

...motivates people to share more with each other in hopes of entertaining their audience and receiving positive reinforcement or reception of the content they posted, and in doing so, creating a sense of camaraderie or community.

Therefore, according to Koosel, some Internet users engage in “electronic exhibitionism” in an effort to lure as much attention as possible, and become celebrities by the careful construction of their online identity.

While pranks and social experiments can be a good laugh or even eye-opening, in the form of social commentary or satire, sometimes, things go a little too far. These pranksters tend to get so high off of the fame these stunts bring them and the effects can be sobering. I call this On Clout Nine.

Physical Harm

The Tripping-Jump Challenge

Earlier this year, one of the most dangerous pranks to plague social media swept across the globe, claiming a few lives in its wake. The Tripping-Jump Challenge features an unsuspecting victim and two provocateurs on either side of him or her. The aim of the antagonists was to convince their target that they were all going to see who could jump the highest on camera, sometimes with a small cash reward as an incentive. When the middle person jumps, the persons on their right and left kick out their feet mid-air causing them to take an awkward tumble.

The injuries ranged from bruises to fractures to even death.

As news of the prank spread on social media, it wasn’t long before it was picked up by Jamaica’s youth and three Meadowbrook High School boys were met with the consequences. But, this challenge is merely one on a long list of pranks and social experiments that are steadily becoming a threat on our little island.

Popular local YouTuber and Prankster, iHeart Manii (née Kymani White), met his match when he scouted the Half Way Tree area for potential victims of his latest social experiment. For this act, Manii would pretend to find money at the people’s feet, hold the money up very obviously and either walk away or ask the person if the money is theirs.

Yuh ever owe a Jamaican money yet? Lol.

Naturally, the responses were downright comical as most participants were dishonest and, at times, convincingly insistent. Thus, the video was circulated on social media rapidly. Today, the May 8, 2019 upload has since gained over 187,000 views, 10,000 likes and almost 2000 comments. While this is a huge accomplishment for Jamaican content creators, any well-thinking person must wonder if Kymani has really assessed the risks associated with these stunts.

The woman in both screenshots above was the real star of this video as she violently challenged Kymani regarding the ownership of the money, even after being told countless times that the events were staged, eventually causing him bodily harm.

Despite run-ins with law enforcement and hostile responses to his antics from some Jamaican victims, Kymani continues to develop new prank ideas as his primary means of income and rise to fame, stating to Jamaica STAR Writer, Stephanie Lyew, “The more pranks I upload, the faster my followers grow; for example, each time I upload a prank I gain an average 400 new subscribers.” The STAR previously put Kymani’s page at 15,000 subscribers in May 2019, growing from 5,000 over ten months. Today, White’s channel boasts approximately 96,400 subscribers and the ongoing pandemic has not stopped him from executing and uploading his experiments and pranks.

Yes, these videos have proven to be profitable content but at what cost? The unpredictability of Jamaicans is what makes these pranks such a risk to the entire iHeart Manii team. Today, it’s the old woman stabbing him. Tomorrow, maybe the woman is a man, maybe the knife is a gun...

Furthermore, Manii’s pinned prank upload features himself and fellow Jamaican YouTubers, Gio of Gio and Ken, and Rolley of Trouble Link, calling local taxi companies under the guise of heading to the airport with an extremely heavy suitcase. Each of the young men takes a turn being secured within the luggage, unbeknownst to the cab drivers, until the hidden participant begins to struggle and groan giving the appearance of a kidnapping in progress.

The first and third drivers were perturbed and refused to take them upon the realization that the young men had kidnapped someone. The second driver, however, began negotiating the fare and admonishing them for not speaking in hushed tones due to the nature of the act they were about to commit. This was just as, or even more disturbing than, the prank itself and, of course, my mind took OFF:

This clearly isn’t the first time this man has done this!!!

Yeah, I’m never taking another taxi again, thanks, xoxo.

So many women have been kidnapped within the public transport system. Hello, Jasmine Dean?!

Which company does he work for? Mortec?! Gadgepro?! On Time?! Mortec????!

Would he have carried the act right through for the right price?! I bet he would, the scum.

Is he going to be investigated? Paging JCF!!!!

Not ONE of them couldn’t see something wrong with this???

But, I digress (one issue at a time, Monét, one issue at a time). However, my mental tirade brings me to my second point.

Desensitization

Around October 1, 2020, a chilling video of a woman being abducted circulated on social media. In the two-minute-and-20-second-long video, the woman is shown walking down a roadway before she is restrained and pulled into a motor vehicle by four masked men. The man, Nathaniel, driving the getaway car is the woman, Tish’s, boyfriend and the video was originally uploaded to the couple’s YouTube as a prank.

Scathing reviews were aired out on every platform the video could be found as social media users condemned the men for their insensitivity and came to the woman’s defense. However, story come to bump when the video was removed for violating the platform's harmful and dangerous content policy and the girlfriend blamed it on envious people and guaranteed that the couple would come back bigger and better. So...she was in on it?!

In an interview with The Weekend STAR, Trish claimed:

The prank was actually acted out. It can teach other persons. As you can see when I was walking, I was looking. Persons, young girls, should look around and know them surroundings. That was the whole idea.

These men seemed very experienced to several Twitter users, including myself.

Very believable, 10/10 performance.

Who knew Jamaica had so many fine male actors doubling as activists, aiming to raise awareness around kidnapping incidents?

Even if that was the intention, they went about it in the wrong way. There was no trigger warning to prevent potential viewers, or victims from having to see or relive their worst nightmare for a few laughs. The Jamaica Constabulary Force said it best in their statement addressing the situation:

Evidently, Cyberculture is blurring the lines between safe fun and harmful risks, between harmless pranks and trivialized social issues. For a little bit of clout, persons have been seriously hurt, sued, investigated by the authorities or have lost their lives. Social media has transformed the general perception on the value of lives as so many seem so eager to throw them away for a few clicks.

Moreover, when we trivialize issues in the form of pranks and social experiments, desensitization is amplified exponentially. While there may have been outrage in response to the couple’s kidnapping prank, who knows how many men secretly thought this was a good idea, who may desire to attempt it, take it too far, not in an effort to cReaTe AwARenEsS, but to really catch a woman unawares with the intention to do more than shake her up a bit?

Hopefully, these trends dissipate like so many ephemeral online fads. Until then, there is no doubt that these antics will only get worse, affecting more and more lives as this digi-cultural currency, clout, increases in its value and the risks increase in their damages. After all, when it comes to Cyberculture, the road to fame is paved with shame, (Koestenbaum, 2011.)

Meanwhile, I? Feel zero remorse for these cloutchasers and the repurcussions which are sure to meet them when they come down from their high.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

References

Bamidele, M. (2019, November 4). Clout Chasing: 5 instances celebrities have stirred controversies to stay relevant. The Guardian. https://guardian.ng/life/clout-chasing-5-instances-celebrities-have-stirred-controversies-to-stay-relevant/

Brantley, K. (2018, June 24). Pictured: Book that YouTuber died holding after encouraging his pregnant girlfriend to shoot him for videotaped stunt. DailyMail. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5878953/Prosecutors-release-pictures-bullet-holed-book.html

Education ministry warns against 'Jump Trip Challenge'. (2020, February 16). The Jamaica Observer.

Edwards, C., Spence, P. R., Gentile, C. J., Edwards, A., & Edwards, A. (2013). How much Klout do you have … A test of system generated cues on source credibility. Computers in Human Behavior, volume 29 (issue 5), pages A12-A16. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0747563212003767

Hobbs, R. & Grafe, S. (2015, June 30). YouTube pranking across cultures. First Monday, volume 20 (issue 7). https://journals.uic.edu/ojs/index.php/fm/article/view/5981/4699

Koestenbaum, W. (2011). Humiliation. New York: Picador.

Koosel, S. (2015). The Renegotiated Self: Social Media’s Effects on Identity. Alfapress.

Lyew, S. (2019, May 17). Kymani the prankster - Man leaves call centre job to fool around. The Jamaica STAR. http://jamaica-star.com/article/news/20190517/kymani-prankster-man-leaves-call-centre-job-fool-around

Merrifield, R. (2020, February 24). Parents warn kids against YouTube 'killer Jump Trip Challenge' after two deaths. Mirror. https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/parents-warn-kids-against-youtube-21563313

Nagesh, A. (2018, November 29). Cloutlighting: From online 'pranks' to toxic social media trend. BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/2f85d272-c509-4d2c-86bf-d4ed4f4e6d9b

Russell, T. (2020). Attorney Going After Miami-Dade School Board After Teen Injured In ‘Jump Challenge’ Prank. CBS Miami. https://miami.cbslocal.com/2020/02/11/jump-challenge-prank-south-dade-high-school/

Shears, R. (2011, May 16). Bizarre internet craze 'planking' claims its first victim after man plunges from balcony to his death. MailOnline. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1387272/Planking-claims-victim-Acton-Beale-falls-balcony-death.html

Taylor, T. (2020, October 2). Kidnap prank’ creators surprised by backlash. The Jamaica STAR. http://jamaica-star.com/article/news/20201002/%E2%80%98kidnap-prank%E2%80%99-creators-surprised-backlash

White, K. [iHeart Manii]. (2019, May 8). “Gimmi me money” Finding money in public social experiment. [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQUetpE2V8c&t=703s

White, K. [iHeart Manii]. (2020, March 28). Kidnapping Prank On Taxi Drivers (GONE WRONG) *must see* || Gio and Ken || Trouble link tv. [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0HuRomRDzI

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walduissymavelleyq94insuran-blog · 5 years ago

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the-record-columns · 7 years ago

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Aug. 2, 2017: Columns

Another column that is not about sports, exactly…

Chief Wahoo, the mascot for the Cleveland Indians baseball team? Well, no, actually this was a souvenir bought by the late John Scorof's mother in Hawaii in 1943, given to Ken some years ago by John, and confused with the Indians mascot ever since.

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

Many years ago, circumstances caused me to be on the road at night on a fairly regular basis. During that time, to pass the time, I would often tune in late night AM radio. Sometimes I would pick up one of the large “clear channel” radio stations from up north, or sometimes I would listen to small market AM stations that would fade in and out as I drove along.

Of the small market stations, one of my favorite memories was of a preacher who was on every Friday night. As is sometimes said about gospel quartets, when he wasn't singing, he was selling. That is, asking for contributions to keep his program on the air. One evening as I rode across the flatlands of North Carolina, this preacher was making his plea for help and came out with, “Now folks, we are thankful for the checks you send in, but please make that a good check—it doesn't help much if I have to go down to the bank and pick it up because it bounced.”

Other nights I would listen to talk radio, although in those days, it was more about financial planning than politics, and then there was the occasional ball game I would pick up on.

Ball games. I have been to a million of them, with the large majority being youth games involving my children. For me basketball was the most fun to watch, soccer the least fun to watch, and baseball in between. Baseball moved too slow and the practices made the games look fast.

At any rate, with the advent of grown children it is rare for me to watch a baseball game except around the Playoffs or World Series. That may not be fair, but it is true.

How could anyone get hooked on baseball?

Well, I'll tell you.

A couple of Tuesday evenings ago, I was out working and had the radio on. I hit the scan button and up came 1100 AM with a Cleveland Indians playing the California Angels. I soon heard the score and it was 7-0 Indians in the second inning. Borrrrrr-ing. A cakewalk for Chief Wahoo and the Indian faithful. I was listening to the Cleveland network and they were patting themselves on the back and high-five-ing all around about their pitcher and the blowout they were enjoying.

So, mainly as background noise, I left the game on. However, the first thing I knew, the Angels scored 4 runs in the 4th inning. That was followed by 2 in the 5th, and 1 in the 6th. All of a sudden, boom, it was a ball game. All the back-patting and hoopla went to “...what the hell has happened?”

Well, now I was hooked. I actually changed lanes several times just to keep the signal where I could hear it all. There was no more scoring for what seemed like forever, No scoring in the 7th, 8th, or 9th innings. So, what started out as an Indians blowout was going to extra innings with the score still tied 7-7.

No scoring in the 10th. The Angels came to bat in the top of the 11th and went nowhere. As luck would have it, I had to make a stop during the Indians bottom half of the 11th. When I returned to the car and the game, I could not believe what was going on., The announcer was just saying that Indians player Edwin Encarnacion was coming to bat. Then I heard them say that the bases were loaded.

Well, you guessed it. Encarnacion proceeds to hit a walk-off Grand Slam home run in the bottom of the 11th inning to give the Indians the win after all. The announcer was yelling to so loud he almost split the speaker on the radio.

So there. What began as a slow, boring game where all but the most faithful would leave early and put the kids to bed transformed into a game for the ages that will be talked about for years to come.

I suppose this is the place to insert the best known of all the Yogi-ism's attributed to legendary New York Yankees catcher, Yogi Berra.

“It ain't over 'til it's over.”

Does the walker choose the path?

By LAURA WELBORN

I have spent the last 10 days in Washington State, trying to keep up with my very active outdoorsy adult children (and one very active 14-month-old).

At one point I was hiking up and down one very steep mountain. I slipped and fell on my rear end four times. My son, Jake, said to me, “But Mom, you get right back up each time.”

Somehow this reassured me on several different levels – one is that I could still keep up with them and a 14-month-old, and the other is that I do seem to have a certain amount of resiliency when I fall.

There are times when we all get knocked off our feet, even though we are trying to be careful, look where we are stepping and go slow. There are lots of life lessons in all of this, but I think the concept of choosing paths and being intentional in your actions is worthy of noting.

Here are some thoughts towards the getting back up idea:

1. The best time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. When you bring clarity into your life, you bring the best of yourself into everything you do – you tend to treat yourself and others better, communicate more constructively, do things for the right reasons, and ultimately improve the world you’re living in. This is why praying or just meditating on some positive mantras, on a daily basis can actually make a real-world difference in your life. Dedicate time every day to focus inward – mindfulness rituals, mantras, journaling, prayer, gratitude reflection, etc. – and bring clarity to your daily circumstances and decisions.

2. When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you. It’s all about getting organized and conscious of how you are allocating your limited time and energy, so you can put yourself in a position to build the future you want.

3. Stepping back and allowing certain things to happen means these things will take care of themselves, and your needs will also be met. This form of letting go is not giving up. It’s about surrendering any obsessive attachment to particular people, outcomes and situations. It means showing up every day in your life with the intention to be your best self, and to do the best you know how, without expecting life to go a certain way.

4. If you don’t intentionally carve out time every day to make progress, you won’t – without question, your time will get lost in the vacuum of excessive overthinking and distraction.

5. Every evening before you go to bed, write down three things that went well during the day and their causes. Simply provide a short, causal explanation for each good thing.

by focusing inward, dropping excess baggage, letting go of the uncontrollable, building sustainable daily rituals, and appreciating what’s going well, you give yourself the perspective and momentum needed to cope with the unexpected twists and turns on the path in front of you. And yes, oftentimes the immediate path chooses you, not the other way around. And that’s not a bad thing either.

Some of the greatest outcomes that transpire in your life will be the ones you never even knew you wanted. As long as you keep your mind open to new perspectives and yourself moving forward, there really are no wrong turns in life, only paths you didn’t know you were meant to walk. And you never can be certain what’s around the corner. It could be everything, or it could be nothing.” (Inserts from Marc and Angel Hack Life blog)

Arabic broadcasting network funded by

US tax dollars?

By EARL COX

Special to The Record

Ever heard of the Alhurra Network? How about Radio Sawa? Most will be shocked to learn that little known Alhurra TV and Radio Sawa cost American tax payers up to $700,000,000.00 (seven hundred million dollars) a year! What is the mission of this little known U.S. government-funded operation? On paper it is “to broadcast accurate, timely and relevant news and information about the region, the world and the United States to a broad, Arabic-speaking audience.” Sounds good until you ask questions. Broadcasting from Alhurra began in February 2004. The objective was to counter terrorist media campaigns designed to influence public opinion as well as to explain U.S. policies but Alhurra itself has become more about propaganda than accurate news reporting and while its budget is massive, its audience is not.

Alhurra is sponsored by the United States government and supported by United States tax dollars yet broadcasts are not translated into English. What? I wish this were just a fairytale but it’s true. Alhurra is real and operates out of state-of-the-art studios located in the heart of Jerusalem yet few know much about this entity. I saw the operation with my own eyes. American tax-payers gift their hard-earned dollars to Alhurra for nothing - not even the privilege of listening to their broadcasts as they are not available to the English-speaking world. As convoluted as it sounds, Alhurra is regulated by a law that prohibits a government-funded news service dedicated to providing news to a foreign audience from broadcasting to the domestic audience of the United States. Something is wrong here. Further inquiry revealed that this type of news service falls under the Broadcasting Board of Governors known as the BBG. The Smith-Mundt Act regulations were eased by the relatively recent passage of the Smith-Mundt Modernization Act. However, the BBG still insists that it is only allowed to create programs for foreign audiences and the BBG “does not seek to change that.”

What is Alhurra sending out to foreign audiences that Americans and Israelis might find unacceptable? Apparently there is very little oversight regarding Alhurra’s reporters and commentators. There is not even a requirement for management to speak or understand the Arabic language. This month Brian Conniff gave up his position as President of the Middle East Broadcasting Networks, Inc., and MBN is the governing body for Alhurra. He served from June 2006 until July 2017 yet during his lengthy tenure it is reported that Conniff could not speak Arabic and therefore could not understand any of the news and programs put out by Radio Sawa and Alhurra TV. To top it off, he had no journalistic experience.

A pro Publica investigator reported that Conniff once stood outside the door of an editorial meeting while the technical staff and reporters prepared for a broadcast halfway around the world. He could not understand what they were saying and no one offered a simultaneous translation. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. Add to this the confusing funding structure of Alhurra and the Middle East Broadcasting Networks, Inc. MBN is the non-profit corporation that operates Alhurra. The BBG (Broadcasting Board of Governors) finances the Middle East Broadcasting Networks through a grant. The BBG is an independent federal agency that serves as a firewall to protect the professional independence and integrity of the broadcasters.

The U.S. Secretary of State is one of the members of the BBG. Alhurra TV, Radio Sawa, the MBN and the BBG look like they comprise one big and very confusing circle and, indeed, they do. According to a former U.S. Ambassador in Yemen and the United Arab Emirates William Rugh, “There is no adult supervision there (at Alhurra) by people who know what is on the actual broadcast. You need bilingual managers who understand both languages and cultures and understand journalism.” Alhurra’s and Sawa’s Arabic-language broadcasts are beamed only overseas. No one translates full broadcasts into English therefore it is impossible for non-Arabic speakers to know what’s going on air. Who is responsible for content oversight? Wouldn’t it make sense that a U.S. funded, Arabic-speaking network be accountable for the “news” and information they are distributing?

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yogaadvise · 7 years ago

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Why It`s So Hard for Some of Us to Say No

In life, regardless of exactly how autonomous or independent one is, relationships are a central part of our self-concept. Newborns, for instance, generally identify their caregiver's faces at two months, yet will not identify their own reflection up until much later on. We grasp the existence of various other before we realize the idea of self. After that, almost quickly, we find out ways to jockey for the affection of others. In ways both significant and mundane, we learn the best ways to flex our authentic selves to stay in relationship with other individuals. One of the smallest ways we do this is by avoiding difficult discussions and also saying indeed when we need to possibly claim no.

One reason it could be so difficult to break from this possibility can be discussed by the idea of negativity predisposition, or the possibility for the negative inspirational system to react more intensely compared to the favorable motivational system. The creators of social neuroscience, John T. Cacioppo, Ph.D., as well as Gary Berntson, Ph.D., examine the different means our social interactions are processed naturally. In a 1998 research on negativity predisposition, Cacioppo revealed participants pictures that were perhaps unfavorable (mutilated faces), positive (a luxury sporting activities car), as well as neutral (house home appliances). He discovered that the mind reacts more strongly to unfavorable comments and also stimulations. In reality, adverse info is processed in a various part of the brain with a stronger electric fee. This natural inclination for adverse information to reverberate much more highly points to great deals of incidents in our daily lives consisting of: why bad information goes viral, why we often tend to hold our tongues as well as avoid battle, and also why a number of us have a difficult time claiming no. In short, our need to prevent stating no as well as providing unfavorable feedback can be because we understand, both psychologically and also neurologically, adverse comments hurts.

Roy Baumeister, Ph.D., a researcher of self and also identity and a professor of social psychology at Florida State College, provides an extensive expedition of just how this negativeness bias effects our interactions. In an article, 'Bad is Stronger than Excellent,' he creates, 'In daily life, bad occasions have more powerful and also a lot more long-term consequences than equivalent appropriate occasions. Close relationships are more deeply as well as effectively affected by damaging actions than by constructive ones, by adverse communications compared to positive ones, as well as by conflict than consistency ... Also beyond close connections, unfriendly or conflictual communications are seen as more powerful as well as have larger effects compared to pleasant, unified ones. Tiffs and adverse feelings have stronger effects compared to excellent ones on cognitive handling, and also the mass of affect policy initiatives is guided at running away from bad state of minds (e.g., instead of getting in or extending great moods).'

Even despite our own neurological bias, we can not let our mind's wish to perceive things negatively regulate every one of our choices. 'It remains in our best passion, if we are strolling along a path, for our brains to perceive the stick as a snake. This assists us avoid potentially hazardous situations,' says Rebecca Gladding, M.D., author of You Are Not Your Brain.

Negativity prejudice established as a defense reaction, Gladding clarifies, as well as our brains' practice of handling negative stimulations so strongly is actually a creative transformative function-a way to help us perceive and also prevent danger. We need to work to keep things in point of view. Claiming no to a loved one isn't a harmful proposition. Declining an offer, or offering comments that our enjoyed one could perceive as much less complementary will not kill them (or us). We do not often make that distinction. We typically prevent pain and also danger, with the very same fervor, whether it is real or imagined.

' We're mosting likely to have preliminary reactions,' Gladding says. 'However we could quit as well as remind ourselves [that] that's simply our brain.'

Meditation is among one of the most effective ways to disturb our brain's comments loop.

' At the medical level, reflection is implied to boost recognition,' Gladding claims. 'The objective is to construct that muscular tissue to ensure that we could use our enhanced understanding in our lives.'

In an article called, 'This is Your Mind on Reflection,' Gladding breaks down exactly how arbitration assists re-shape the mind and enhance our recognition. She writes:

' If you were to check out people's minds prior to they started a meditation technique, you would likely see solid neural links within the Me Center [median prefrontal cortex] and also between the Me Facility [Ventromedial medial prefrontal cortex and Dorsomedial Prefrontal Cortex] and the physical sensation/fear facilities of the mind. This suggests that whenever you feel nervous, scared or have an experience in your body (e.g., a prickling, discomfort, itching, whatever), you are much a lot more most likely to assume that there is a trouble (pertaining to you or your security) ... On the other hand, if you meditate on a normal basis, numerous favorable points take place. The strong, snugly held connection in between the Me Center (especially the purposeless vmPFC) and also the physical sensation/fear centers starts to damage down. As this connection withers, you will certainly no much longer presume that a physical experience or short-lived feeling of fear implies something is incorrect with you or that you are the issue!'

Through normal mindfulness meditation technique, we come to be less self-indulgent as well as our inclination to catastrophize occasions reduces. As we minimize our inner narratives concerning just what's happening, we are most likely to examine scenarios much more clearly, and also communicate our demands a lot more efficiently. We recognize that having a lot more authentic and also truthful discussions with the individuals in our lives, isn't an overwhelmingly dire situation. As we discover that the world revolves without us, we end up being free to share as well as express our requirements and also feelings.

Our success with this, nonetheless, likewise rests on individuals that we're connecting with.

' Stating no, and giving negative responses are two very different points ... but both boil down to exactly how risk-free an individual feels,' Gladding claims. 'The more you have partnerships with people who value your feelings, the much more comfy you will feel sharing.'

So, assuming that we're normal meditators, and we have psychologically mature relationships, how can we feel safe enough to pass on the invitation to our friend's birthday party? Just how can we really feel comfy enough in our partnership to inform our boss that we really don't like when he calls us 'sweetheart' throughout conferences? Just how can we establish borders for ourselves in manner ins which various other individuals can hear them?

' The method we claim traits matters,' Gladding says.

While it may appear easiest to blurt our sensations merely as well as rapidly, take into consideration when as well as exactly how the individual you're planning to connect with will regard your comments. If you're stating no, choose a time as well as space where the person will certainly be most responsive (not after they have actually simply worked a double change at the medical facility). It's likewise crucial to recognize that exactly what you regard as adverse comments, isn't inherently negative.

' If you're telling a person something that is accurate, that's not adverse comments,' Gladding says. 'If you have the expectation of modification based upon your responses, that's normally where the issue takes place.'

' This is an additional area where reflection is available in,' Gladding includes. 'We could identify when we have an expectation.'

Ultimately a relationship is a two-way street, and also part of having the ability to claim no and interact negative feedback, is likewise having the ability to listen to it.

' See any type of feedback as a present,' Gladding claims. 'And also when you feel yourself bracing or reacting to negative feedback, aim to be investigative. Commonly it's just miscommunication.' She adds, 'Thinking of every one of the excellent Buddhist trainings communicate: See every person as a teacher. Every person is my instructor.'

That claimed, Gladding also warns us to maintain responses in point of view. Though everybody is our instructor, we are well within our right to test our teachers.

' Most of other individuals's actions have absolutely nothing to do with you,' she claims. 'See to it you put all responses in context, and also think about debriefing with somebody you trust fund.'

One of the biggest mysteries of partnership is that occasionally one of the most caring point we could do is state no. Occasionally, the very best method to support somebody we respect is to tell them a potentially unpleasant truth. Commonly, when we established boundaries, attest our own intents, stay with our weapons or tell our fact, we accidentally free those we like one of the most making more enlightened as well as sincere choices. The theologian Tim Keller creates, 'To be enjoyed but not known is calming yet surface. To be known and not enjoyed is our best anxiety. Yet to be completely known as well as absolutely loved is, well, a whole lot like being enjoyed by God. It is just what we need more compared to anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and strengthens us for any kind of difficulty life can toss at us.'

When we find out to hold the individuals in our lives accountable and enable them the exact same liberties with us, we open ourselves up to true union, and also we create a refuge for our truest nature to reside.

#meditation #mindfulness meditation #yoga #yoga alliance

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