#though in s1 with luther he was sick as a dog

[allisoooon]

Klaus, Addiction, and CodeBendency Part Four | The Dependent: It’s About Isolation, Not Addiction

This is the crux of it—Klaus’ character arc is not really about his addiction.  Even his addiction isn’t really about his addiction. No one’s is.  It’s another piece of baggage, but it’s a piece of baggage the addict takes on in response to pain.  Something I previously said was that Klaus has chosen the master he can bear. The other masters, the fear, shame, and memories of his father, that’s all something he’s still running from.  His addiction is a reaction.  And even though he relapsed, he has made tremendous strides in terms of what his character arc is really about.  It’s the thing that’s been found to have the single biggest effect on addiction and sobriety: isolation.

Just look at where he is in the beginning of season one versus the end of season two.  At the beginning of season one, Klaus is terrified of his powers and of the dead, but slowly begins to realize that in terms of his fear, the only way out is through.  More importantly, though, the devil-may-care attitude toward his family changes after he meets Dave and learns that he can, in fact, be loved. The episode of his return, he begins to really bond with his siblings, starting with Diego.  At the start of season two, he has been sober for three years, suggesting he has found ways to cope if he hasn’t overcome his fear altogether. In season one, even at the end of it, he’s resistant to the attempts the others make to get him involved and volunteers for practically nothing.  At the end of season two, he is the first to choose to go with Vanya to the farm to help Harlan even though there’s no clear use for his power there.  His usual excuse that his power is “useless” doesn’t stop him—he goes because he doesn’t want Vanya to face the situation alone. That’s a massive difference of attitude. And it’s that change of attitude that makes me feel like he is still making progress against his addiction because he is finally reaching out to his support network and thinking beyond himself.  He still has a long-ass way to go, having not even touched his very pervasive post-traumatic stress from both his childhood and the Vietnam war, and I suspect he’ll be struggling with his grief for Ben for some time, but you know what?  A start’s a start.  And I wasn’t ready for Klaus’ issues to all get solved in two seasons.

All of this progress has been made, and I think it’s a mistake to overlook it strictly because we’re seeing Ben and Klaus’ relationship closer-up than before.  I don’t think Klaus is more of an asshole this season.  He was an asshole last season, too.  Two things are different this season: he endures less new trauma so we feel less sorry for him, and we’re being shown more instances of how unhealthy his relationship with Ben really is.  Klaus gets the blame for the latter because, and I will go into greater detail on this in the next post, codependents are seen as selfless and good by society’s standards while addicts are seen as losers and bad people.  Yes, Klaus is shitty to Ben sometimes, but the reverse is true as well.  People just see Ben’s actions differently because they are motivated by another person, as if that alone makes them good actions.  Klaus has made a lot of progress.  He wasn’t featured quite as prominently as he was in season one, but that doesn’t make him less complex, nor does it mean his arc this season was unimportant.  To the contrary, his relapse and the loss of Ben will change a lot going forward, as will his closer relationships with his other siblings.

Speaking as an extroverted child of a dysfunctional family, fans also need to reconsider the idea that it’s only Klaus’ siblings who are maintaining the distance between them.  Klaus is an escapist.  Talking too much to his family invites too many serious conversations.  When they do talk, he maintains distance the way extroverts tend to—by talking their ear off about anything but the serious thing, distraction, redirection, and, if necessary, making the other person uncomfortable.  If we’re good at it, we can push people away by coming toward them.  He relishes attention and company—demands it, even—but it took a nigh-on Herculean effort for Diego to even get him to admit anything was wrong after he came back from Vietnam.  It took less for him to open up to Allison in the second season, showing, perhaps, some character development.  In both cases, Klaus’ siblings rewarded him with comfort and companionship.  This is so reflective of the loved ones of many an addict.  Any number of them have this fantasy of the addict coming to them for help and them being able to be there for them and be a comfort and help them get sober.  The reality is that addicts use substances and/or behaviors so they don’t have to deal with the thing their loved one wants them to talk about.  Klaus is no different.

It’s no coincidence that the inciting factor of the relapse was a social one--the diner incident with Dave. Remember Dave is the entire reason Klaus stopped settling for a life he floated through half-aware, too numb to care about no one caring about him.  Dave taught him he is capable of being loved for who he is.  In the years since he lost him, I think Klaus has sugar-coated Dave’s memory in a lot of ways, forgotten he was a human and not some angelic ideal incapable of dealing harm for bad reasons.  Being hit by him and seeing Dave take on a shade of his own abusive father was devastating for Klaus.  He knew, logically, that that’s not the sort of man Dave really is, that the pressures of being gay in the 1960’s (in Texas of all places) got to him, but the fact is, Klaus will always remember it.  The image of the love of his life so carefully kept in his heart is now tainted by the feeling of having his lip split open by him.  In a lot of ways, Dave became lost to him in that moment in a way he hadn’t been before, only increasing the feeling of isolation.  It would have been enough to lead to him deciding to drink again, with or without the CPTSD and comorbid emotional dysregulation.

But even what came before that day at the diner had an effect on Klaus’ isolation.  He left his cult.  It was an unhealthy behavior and it hardly brought out the best in him, but it was a stopgap measure for the howling loneliness.  None of his relationships there had any meaning, but he wasn’t walled up in an apartment somewhere, bored out of his mind and alone with his own thoughts.

So Klaus was a dry drunk at the start of the season.  He couldn’t deal with his own self-loathing sober, so he first reached out for other peoples’ esteem instead of building his own self-esteem.  He opened up to Diego (a little) in the first season after it being dragged from him.  It was easier when Allison asked him why he relapsed, and then in the salon, he didn’t even need to be prompted in order to open up to his sisters.  He’s getting better at this with practice!  And it does take practice.

That’s what makes sobriety stick.

Next up: The Codependent!

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[mycultisgonnabesopissed]

Thoughts on Klaus Hargreeves

In season 1, Klaus was so lovable. He may have been a walking disaster but his bro relationships w/ Diego and Ben were very wholesome. And then he was taking care of Luther after the big galoot got his reality check and was all depressed, even though Klaus had just lost the love of his life and was dope sick and didn’t even know how to take care of himself. He put up with constantly being put down and ignored by his siblings. And when he saw pieces of the moon hurtling towards earth and thought he was about to die, he was holding Dave’s dog tags and probably just thinking, “well at least I get to be with him again soon.”

  Then. Season 2? First of all, the long beard was downright atrocious. Don’t get me started on that. But more importantly, Klaus was so sweet and caring in S1 yet he somehow morphed into an asshole in S2. He was just bickering with Ben, episode after episode, which was funny the first time, when they wrestled on the road, but it got old fast. Why’d Klaus feel the need to pretend that Ben wasn’t there when the sibs asked about him?? Ben’s already been left out of everything for 17 years and Klaus was, quite frankly, cruel for further excluding him. (If I were Ben, I would've beat up Klaus until he admitted that I was there.) Then there was that scene where, when Five arrived in Dallas just in time for doomsday, Klaus summoned up like a dozen dead people to fight which was hella cool. So I spent the whole season waiting for him to get to do that and?? he never got to??? His big contribution in the last episode was that comical but useless karate chop thing when the Handler came in ready to shoot up the place. He was funny but come on. The writers of the show didn’t have to do him dirty like that. Klaus is worth more than this. He definitely had his moments in S2 and I still love him, but in season 3 the writers had better figure out how to make Klaus behave like his old self, even while sober, and give him a chance to be powerful in season 3, that’s all I’m saying.