#though idk if this is more physics-accurate than some of the better time travel stories out there

[just-watch-and-calculate]

ooh writing that is related to time loops but not conventional time loop narrative is interesting. the idea I have now is a bit of a different direction in terms of the underlying concept though

TW/CW: death (mentioned in the 2nd person, implied ending) (also a slight warning: the following is fiction written in the second person and is about being disoriented in spacetime, and about the existential dread from that; also I don't know how much other people get out of this without some rather specific physics knowledge)

---------------------------------

The rest of your life is ahead of you.

You get ready to end the day by waking up into the comforting embrace of sleep. This is the end of the day, right? Mind already— or still?— groggy, you are not sure. Faint recollections of today make themselves known in your mind. Recollections of one of the two ends of your life. Just whether it is the celebrated or grieved one you are not sure right now. At least you are headed away from it, right?

Thinking about that, you realize that you might be moving away from the moment you will(?) end he day by waking up. You are awake enough to notice that the phrasing of that sounds… off, somehow. The sun is still a bit away from setting— or is it rising right now? By definition the night ends with the sun rising and starts with it setting, so that is no help in figuring out which way is future and which way is past.

You remember somewhat how today went goes. And you remember a bit less clearly how tomorrow yesterday the closest day one night from now goes. That is a sign that the future is that way, right? That we know little enough about that temporal direction to think we have free will there.

But you know better than to think you truly have free will, don't you? You know that when you learn about it you are shocked. And you know that at some other point in time you are not shocked about it, at that point in time you accept that the universe is deterministic.¹

But will that be in the future, or has that been in the past? You hope that that is your future, because you remember enough to know that one direction is much longer than the other. Something goes went will go goes wrong today.

You realize that you should not have such clear memories of both past and future. Maybe that is why today has been— will be?— so confusing. You do know that it does make sense for it to be possible though: the direction of time is surprisingly ambiguous unless entropy is involved, so those memories do little to help.

Entropy! You remember: you can find out what direction is generally regarded as the future quite easily. You grab an ice cube. As you hold it you remember that you have(?) let it go right as your hand hurts slightly from the cold. It slides across the floor towards/away from you. Your hand is wet and cold from it. You know enough about entropy to know that the cube melted from holding it.

Which means that today is still mostly ahead of you. And then… nothing. Not the faintest recollection.

You feel cold panic. You are clinging on to the irrational, desperate hope that somehow you can change this. But you know that you can't. Shattered, disjointed recollections of today are burnt into you memory so much deeper than anything else.

Has some attempt to go back just reinforced fate instead? But that isn't how causality works. It shouldn't be. You hope you are not doomed already. You know you are.

Maybe— maybe your colleagues can help you. They've been working on this kind of thing for some distance time (but it's a lot less in time than what that length would be in space, isn't it?). Your research group is working with small controlled systems to better understand what time is. Most that you remember coming of that research so far only has potential for some parlor tricks, but that can change, even on such a short notice, right? (Hah! 'Short' notice, as if we all already know that time and space are not that different.)

There it is again, that irrational thought that somehow the universe doesn't work as you know it does. That things you know cannot be changed, things you know you cannot change, could be changed.

You stand at the bus stop. Why would you have to wait there if you know the bus has arrived early at its destination will be late at the bus stop?

You are on the bus. You just look out of the window disinterestedly, watching the world go by, letting distance pass like time. Is the bus driving forwards or backwards? Are you headed towards your end or away from it? In any case, part of what has you so disinterested in the bus ride is that you know it is uneventful. You have already ridden here from one of the stops you got on/off the bus at and remember that part of the drive. You also remember the other part from/to the other stop you will get on/off the bus at.

You arrive at the laboratory. "Good morning!" you respond. "Morning!" is the answer you receive from the only other person currently at the lab. You can't shake the feeling you should've responded with 'bye'.

You look at the current setup: two almost identical experiments that can run simultaneously — except one of them has opposite charges and is mirrored. And most important of all, one of them starts as the other ends — one of them is backwards. And you truly do not know which one that is anymore. (Anymore? Or will you just come to learn it later?)

It looks different from the other times you see it. "Hey, could you check my calculations? Something's not adding up, I've found a configuration where I don't know where some of the energy comes from" your colleague asks. "It's just, trying to figure it out has kept me up all night. I'd really appreciate a second pair of eyes on this."

You consider what she says: 'all night', not 'all day'. That clears up how she perceives time. It does not fix how you do though.

You remember what is written on the piece of paper she hands you as you first read it. And she is right, it should all add up, it just somehow doesn't. It is as if the Formulas just 'know' that something will be there to fix things. And if not, who knows what would happen. You would rather not know. With a sigh you say "Whatever is wrong with that calculation, I can't spot it either."

"It's alright, I already modified our setup to test this. Want to give it a try?" she responds. Not waiting for your answer in her eagerness to learn she fiddles with the controls of the experiment.

You run between her and the experimental setup. You suddenly know where the extra energy is: with you, somehow. The setup is currently powering up/down. You have to do something or you really will risk finding out how the universe deals with mathematical inconsistencies.

She calls your name, voice full of worry. You are in the experiment room. The setup is powered. You know what fate lurks here. You want to leave this room so badly.

It is too late. Your path through spacetime is not exactly subject to causality — it kind of is causality. Your path through spacetime is not something you have carved out. It just is. And here it leads you. And one of its ends is here.

You want just one more day.

The last, or perhaps the first thing you know is just how wrong you still were about how time works.

_____ ¹ I'm too much of a nerd to completely gloss over quantum randomness possibly not being deterministic, but for the purposes of this story it can be ignored.

I love time loop stories. Really, I do.

But I'd love to see a story about what happens after you emerge from the time loop.

When, after months or years of repetition, you have to learn how to live with a choice you can't redo tomorrow.

When you meet someone new for the first time and have to figure out how to navigate this brand new conversation.

When you reach for the same day's clothes and realize that you can't wear them because they got dirty. Your laundry, your dishes, your body, your teeth, all the tasks that reset with the loop are suddenly stacking up and you need to set aside time to do them.

When you reach that first weekend and your schedule radically shifts and you don't know what to do with yourself, which is terrifying but also exhilarating in ways you can't explain.

When you casually drop facts learned from those books you spent a dozen loops reading, and you realize you retained something worth keeping.

How your memory gets weirdly good all of a sudden, despite not having all that repetition to fall back on, because suddenly every experience is fresh and new.

And when the seasons change, and your hair grows long enough that you want to cut it, and when you realize it's shocking because you didn't think you'd ever see something as incredible as the passage of time.

[snow-wind-and-all-we-will-find]

Hi! My names arthur and im working on improving my word and building my story, which currently has no name haha! I have a myriad of characters who ill try to list out and give brief descriptions of, aether is technically my main character and some of the characters who are up for question are dead in canon. But you can still ask them stuff, itll just be set before death.

When asking characters questions, rememeber to include the name, their age if theres diffrent ages, i dont mind repeated questions, but if you see the question try not to ask it again lol. If you cant find it with a quick scroll just ask it, although i dont know if this blog will even get that big.

Aether

He comes in three evolutions lol, technically, theres four but idk if i would count 7 year old aether.

Ages: 13 yo - colder, hasnt gotten used to emotions, there are two to this as well, pre-rev and then post-rev 13 yo aether, remember to specify lol.

16 yo- a bit more out there, still kinda disconnected and figuring things out, a bit more defensive

22 yo- lax, hes sorta figured shit out, hes not going to go grazy, hes just gonna be chill lol.

!The gaggle Ghosts!

Yurei

Her personality is very, ehhh, becuase i havnt done work with her, and i havnt completly figured out who she is fully yet, shes 18 yo when aether is 22 yo

18 yo- pretty oblivious, somehow still a bit cynical, very nice and sometimes motherly

Kakoku

Few thousand- mean, likes to bully yurei as he huants her, lowkey a simp for yurei but he wont admit that. Kinda cynical and likes to bring others down, generally a bully

Tamashi

19- emotionless, has to be a really strong emotion to make her emote, tends to stray away from other people, likes to be alone, blunt

Gunnar

A few thousand- sweet, warm and welcoming, tries to be very fatherly and a trusted figure, is very busy most of the tiime unfortunatly though.

!The greek gang!

Argus agapov

16- unstable, pretty baby, protective over friends and family

Mythos agapov

23- whore. He also loves his family, lowkey, hes a trad wife

Perceus

15/16- timid, intrested in posiosn and acids, generally quiet, likes to eat leaves, scaredy cat

Diogenes

14- germ of phobe, kind of a brat, more just a bitch, will yell at you if he sees your hands were dirty from gardening or something while you’re walking to the sink, other than that hes fine, picky eater

Herodotus

15- disorginized, trys his best, likes to write stuff down, helps plato with his writing and grammar in general, gullible, likes record data, has a nice typewriter with tha good clicky clack

Plato

8- sweet baby boi, loves his older brother (socrates), idolizes him even, not a good idea though. He writes down everything socrates does, sometimes he imitates his brother as well.

Socrates

17- dumb of ass, also just dumb, held back a grade, feral child, bites alot of people, soft aestechic but hed stab as a warning

Heracles

30- also dumb of ass, loves cars in that ‘mah babeh’ kinda way. Hates motorcycles, he thinks they’re ugly. Chaotic but he utilizes it to be the weird and cool uncle/cousin thing

Zeus

46- too tired for this shit, is a dad, went out to get milk, jk jk, dissapeared for a hot few years, probably got captured by some gang dunno, it happens. Very serious, would make the dumbest jokes with his brothers with a straight face

Hades

50- lowkey the neglected middle child, soft goth lookin ass, loves his kid, tries his best to raise his kid, sometimes gets help from esme

Poseidon

57- proud stay at home dad, buff but does the typically wifely duties, makes sure his children get enough love, nutrience and care

Lillith

54- very active, the money maker, kinda soft, both her and her husband poseidon are so just in love with their kids, dote on them constantly, very extroverted, always makes time for her kids

Esme

51- tired of zeus’ shit, does her best to make sure no one dies, still treats mythos as her ‘little baby boy, tired mom vibes.

!the Eden gang!

Eden is a fictional country that i slapped onto the globe. It is where aether is from, technically aether is apart of the eden gang as well. Everyone here, if they have an age option, the first age option is the age they are when aether is 13, and the second will be when aether is 16 unless stated otherwise

General kyelli

49- fatherly, thinks of most of the gang as his children, calls everyone ‘son’, as a general rule. If you ask for another nickname, he will do his best. Has a bad knee, and is kinda of bad at existing physically

52+- fatherly still, loves almonds, always has a bag of almonds, dont test him. Enjoys travel, might adopt people he meets along the way, still has pains but now he sees doctors, wants to stay active

Indigo

13- sweet, optimistic, always looks on the brightside and tries to see the good in others. Little heater, understands that sometimes fighting is the only option

Akrano

16- lively, very loose and relax, can get serious when needed though, always making jokes and trying to lighten up the mood

19- a bit more, mellow. Still quite lively and childish, but with two signifigant-others you have to settle down sometimes

Ekrano

16- lively, more stern than akrano and kinda worried, but ultimatly also very loose and bright

Lilliana

16- serious, seemingly colder towards everyone, gets along great with psycho-lops, makes him new eye-patches to pass time, actually just very monotone and blank most of the time, although she does care

19- she doesnt change much, she got a bit more expressive, likes babysitting howl

Psycho-lops

16 1/2- always looks determined, actually kinda scared of conflict, likes to help out with healing though, very proficient in it as well, sounds intimidating while talking about how cute puppies and kittens are

19/20- still the same, is considering studying medicine and medical practices to become a doctor.

Bark

17- bright, incredibly lively, loves to joke around and tease and sometimes bully the others, targets aether primarily, hangs out with his brother most of the time, he can fight for himself but he likes the backup, especcially since he is kinda glass-jawed, being that hes a twig

Bite

17- quiet, intense eyes, always sounds vaugly confused when he speaks, deep voice lol, likes to train, doesnt understand barks need to tease others, likes to read to the children

20- quiet, intense eyes still, more so nervous sounding, slightly paranoid, cluastrophobic and cant stand dusty places, usually in his house or at the docks, doesnt really go anywhere else

Hanelle

17- loud, headstrong, adamant about her opinions, gets along well with bark, she tries alot to be intimidating, not a twig, but not very big, pretty friendly and sociable

!the band of pirates!

Aklea

A few hundreds of years- kinda bored seeming, loves blood, technically cannibal, but not really since he isnt human, to an extent. Despite being fine on the ocean, he gets very car sick very easily. Actually quite nice, very easily triggerd into violence, especcially by something that could be used as a good murder weapon, blood makes him jittery and more lively

Nerone

21- calm, too calm, deals with akleas bullshit wonerfully, he just stands there, blank smile on his face as aklea beats the shit outta someone, unintrested in most anything, likes to draw, but hes a much better pastry chef.

!the shakespears!

Midem(pink boi)

33- lively, loves to work with kids, very creative, likes to make things, mainly art, mainly carvings. Often make little minitures of scenes from midens writing, loves his twin, does anything it takes to fund midens intrests. Very loving to those hes close to

Miden

33- calmer by alot lmao, pretty introverted but he can hold a long conversation without becoming too drained, enjoys writing and making stories, also makes plays for fun, runs off little sleep cuase he stays up so late to write, and gets up early to write.

!gods!

Gideon

9 billion- confused boomer, loves his ‘children’, hates to be hated, always tries to help in anyway he can, despite making them, always curious into what mortals are doing, loves the universe he created and does anything he can to protect it

Merik

7 million- sore loser, does get a little salty, ultimatly bounces back and becomes a very good sport, always will adopt tactics, whatever it takes to win within the rules, keeps most all of his trophies from random feats hes done

Ventus

5 billion - calm, straightforward, tends to disregard others and do things himself, likes to sit on cliffs and watch the ocean

Kyle

Hes been around since 776 bc- very loud, lively, bright, tries his best to educate people on proper form, workout regime i intesne, doesnt allow others to take it, makes custom workout regimes for free, owns a gym, dude bro but hes nice, baby

Horo-sha

Her age technicaly is not accurate, shes like, 2 billion? Since dima was made right after her death. But since her history still lives, ima count it

5 billion but older than ventus- bitter, violent, former god of justice, fucking dead haha, hates mortals, primarily humans

Dima

Also not super accurate, hed only be a few centuries of being an active god before being sealed, but since hes technically, concious and has cognitive function hes counted

3 billion- mean lol, likes blood and gets even more violent when it starts getting messy, ‘new’ god of justice, uh, pretty bad at it like the last one, but worse, will kill over slight misdeameanors, everythings a crime smh

!misc!

Ivan

24- softspoken, from imperial russia, died young, he no longer feels his face is his own, has a mask that he likes better, has the sickness, but since he was human it killed him, can control it post mortem, is strong enough to be seen, but weak enough he can go invisible and go through solid objects.

More ocs will be added when i remember them, or create new ones, characters i dont really have built at all are not included

[misscrawfords]

Rose! How do you feel about Emma and its various adaptations?

Sorry for the delay in answering - blame the school trip!

I love Emma. I wrote my dissertation partly on it (also on Northanger Abbey, Rob Roy and St Ronan’s Well) and while I loved it before I loved it even more after studying it. All of Austen’s novels are extremely well plotted, but Emma might just be the best. It’s like a detective novel in that respect (and has been described as such on multiple occasions) because you can pick up on clues to what’s really going on all the way through but on a first read, you don’t see them. Miss Bates unintentionally reveals details that can be explained by Frank and Jane’s secret relationship but they are hidden in her verbal overloading. Emma’s own thoughts betray her unknown interest in Mr. Knightley, and his actions point to his love for Emma. And so on. 

Jane Austen is also being radical in her use of literary conventions and genre in Emma (as she is in basically all her novels). She has the tightest mystery plot ever written at this point hidden directly inside a novel that sticks strictly to the conventions of romantic comedy. She even goes overboard with it - successfully navigating three couples to appropriate happy endings. However, within that solid structure, she plays with expectations and conventions in a subtle way and this is where I get really excited.

First we have Emma herself, a heroine “nobody but myself will like”. Austen clearly loved questioning and pushing conventions of who was allowed to be a heroine. Her previous novel, Mansfield Park, gave us Fanny who most people at the time found disappointing after Elizabeth Bennet and modern readers (unjustly IMO) hate, and she followed Emma with Anne Elliot who was far too old to be a romantic heroine according to contemporary standards. In the middle we have Emma Woodhouse, a meddling snob. She’s got a lot in common with Mr. Darcy actually and her character development in terms of recognising the bad behaviour she is guilty of and the prejudice she feels towards those of a lower social status is pretty similar. But while Darcy and his character development is held up as beautiful and heroic and romantic, Emma is frequently condemned as dislikable. I do wonder why that could be… Personally, I love Emma. She’s clever and shrewd and funny and, honestly, is there anyone who doesn’t think Miss Bates is annoying and doesn’t want to throw a tantrum at the prospect of being upstaged by Mrs. Elton? Are you, dear reader, such a paragon of rational enlightenment and charitable feeling? Would you instantly see through Frank Churchill and resist his flirtations? Would you be best friends with Jane Fairfax and not be just a little bit jealous of her and how much Mr. Knightley everyone seems to admire her? Have you never said something cutting and regretted it? Are you perfect, reader, ARE YOU? Come on. Emma is one of us. She messes up, she judges badly, she says cringeworthy stuff in inappropriate situations, she gives bad advice - she’s human. And she deals with it without losing her positive outlook and she does grow, enough to “deserve” her happy ending (though that’s a loaded concept) but not so much it’s unrealistic. And what makes her likeable through it all are that her intentions are good. Emma is not a bad person who has to become good and “be redeemed”. She is a fundamentally warm and caring person who needs to have some bad habits of thought and action corrected by guidance and experience. Emma’s intentions and understanding are good from the beginning.

Emma’s also interesting because, yes, she does change, but if you put her in the context of the genre she inhabits, she also gets to keep a lot. Basically, in another novel, Emma would have to pay significant penance for her bad behaviour before she would be allowed to marry Mr. Knightley and she would have to prove that she is a changed woman and is absolutely not going to continue meddling and will be a good and submissive wife. Usually this also involves giving up the dangerous reading of novels which have led her astray. Several points. Firstly, Emma is not a novel reader, she is a novel writer. Emma is described by various critics as “an avatar of Austen the author” and if you read the novel through the prism of Emma being an author, things become really fascinating. Beautiful, illegitimate Harriet Smith is the heroine of Emma’s novel and obviously Emma-as-author wants to discover that she is really the long lost daughter of Somebody and give her a socially advantageous marriage. Emma’s matchmaking attempts are the workings of a novelist plotting with characters. Emma is creating her own world. This is radical stuff, in a society where female novelists were looked down upon. Emma has the means and independence and cleverness to write a story of her own - and she is comically bad at it. This is one way in which Austen plays with genre. Secondly, it is not at all clear that Emma does give up her matchmaking at the end of the novel. Austen is coy when she floats this suggestion about Mrs. Weston’s daughter: “[Emma] would not acknowledge that it was with any view of making a match for her, hereafter, with either of Isabella’s sons”. Does this suggest that maybe Emma isn’t as cured as she should be? Thanks to Austen’s levels of irony it’s impossible to tell, which is the point. Thirdly, Emma is the only Austen heroine to have real financial and social clout. Emma really does rule Highbury and at the end of the novel, instead of being subsumed into her husband’s world, he in fact moves in with her (however temporarily). This is practically the Regency equivalent of her keeping her name after marriage. She and Mr. Knightley are social equals and she does not leave her home or her sphere of influence when she marries. The only other heroine this would be true of is, interestingly enough, Fanny Price. But Mansfield Park is notoriously inward looking and Fanny’s ending allows her to truly become a Bertram which is what she wanted all along for better or worse. And Fanny and Edmund’s social status and influence are much less significant that Knightley and Emma’s are.

Something else to bear in mind when thinking about Emma’s character is that, despite her social power and wealth, she also lives an extremely confined and limited life. She is essentially a carer for her stultifying and claustrophobic father. She has never left the environs of Highbury. She is surrounded by people who jump to her every command and shower her in praise, both deserved and undeserved. The only person who criticises her is also in love with her. The only eligible men in her world before the arrival of Frank Churchill are her brother-in-law who is 16 years older than her, and the obsequious vicar. Yes, she can remain a spinster but even a rich spinster cannot maintain the sort of power she currently holds when faced with a married woman like Mrs. Elton (who is a real threat to her), but her alternatives are bleak. A woman of her rank and fortune should be having a London season and meeting other young people of her rank and forming external connections. Because of her father’s passive control over her, Emma has none of these opportunities. Even Fanny Price travels more and meets more people than Emma does. Yes, Emma Woodhouse is handsome, rich and clever and has had very little to vex her, but I suspect that is probably Emma’s own view of her life and it is not necessarily accurate.

Okay, this post is already far too long so I’ll end my discussion of the novel here. There’s also a lot that could be said about Jane and Frank, Emma and Mr. Knightley’s relationship and more, but Emma is clearly the most important and, honestly, the most in need of defence!

Onto the adaptations, and I’ll try to be brief:

1. The Gwyneth Paltrow film. Jeremy Northan is divine though his hair could be better and he’s not my favourite Mr. Knightley, even if I do have a massive crush on JN. Harriet Smith is a not particularly attractive redhead which is… weird. Frank Churchill is Ewan McGregor but he has appalling hair so IDK what was going on there - such a missed opportunity. Gwyneth Paltrow as Emma is a casting disgrace and I honestly can’t bear to watch this film because every time she is on screen I cringe. The producers were more interested in the aesthetic than making a good adaptation. My grandma hated it. Enough said.

2. The Kate Beckinsale film. Honestly, I don’t dislike anything about this except that I wish it were a mini-series and the proposal scene is a bit… eh. But I think it manages to stay true to the book in a feature film and I love Kate Beckinsale’s Emma. She has the right mix of liveliness and arrogance for me. Mark Strong is a stern Mr. Knightley but he’s not too handsome. Frank Churchill is perfect in this adaptation. Controversially, this is my favourite period adaptation.

3. The Romola Garai miniseries. I love lots about this mainly because the length allows everything to be expanded suitably. Johnny Lee Miller is the best Knightley by far. The Eltons are fabulous. Frank and Jane’s relationship gets more time dedicated to it. The Westons and Bateses are great. Harriet Smith is dumbed down too much - she’s naive and not too bright but this adaptation makes her practically an idiot, almost as much a disservice as the 2005 P&P film’s character assassination of Bingley, though physically the actress is perfect and she’s very likeable. And I really do appreciate what they were trying to do with Emma. It was clearly an informed choice to make her bubbly and often silly and a chosen interpretation of the text and I respect that - better that than wilful misinterpretation which some adaptations go in for. I fundamentally disagree with it - whatever her faults, I don’t think Emma is silly and giggly and I struggle to believe this Emma is a 21 year old woman secure in her position as a social leader. Her mannerisms often come across very modern - her little waves, giggles and posture and this is very irritating because Romola Garai has done some fantastic period acting (Daniel Deronda, The Hour etc.) and these mannerisms aren’t consistent across the cast. I love Romola Garai and I think it’s an interesting choice of direction, but not one that rings true to how I see the character though.

4. Clueless. Clearly the best adaptation of Emma ever made. We all know it.

5. Emma Approved. Only seen a bit of it and didn’t warm to it. Should probably give it another go. Why did they change Knightley’s name to Alex? What the hell is wrong with George!?!?

Anyway, here are my thoughts on Emma. Hope they’re at least somewhat interesting. There is nothing I like better than rambling on about Jane Austen! :-) Thank you for giving me the opportunity!

[okase]

DnD Character Questions: Zephrine

B/c my friend’s gone and done these and they looked fun. Original questions is here

1) What is their full name, and does it have any special relevance? Alternatively, what nicknames do they have?

Zephrine Auclair is her full name, as far as she’s concerned. Her actual full name is unknown to her though she’s aware at least that Auclair isn’t the surname she was born with. Adopted and all that.

As for nicknames, Zeph is a shorthand she’s okay with, and her stage persona when she was a performer was very creatively named Zephyra. 2) What hobby would they like to be good at?

Cooking, or sewing. Probably sewing a little more than cooking, since she’s at least somewhat passable at cooking. Also, gardening. She loves plants and flowers but doesn’t quite have the green thumb that her mother does. 3) If they played dnd what race and class would they pick?

A gnome Beastmaster ranger or Circle of the Shepherd druid. She’d want to be something completely different from what she is or can turn into in real life. Also, she’s always wanted healing abilities and loves animals(most of them) so she would want either one really close animal companion or as many animal friends as she could possibly make. She would also inevitably get really distraught when something happened to said animal friends. 4) If they could go back in time and change one thing, what would they change?

She would have left the circus to travel with Therila sooner. Even though it’s not really her fault, Zeph still feels an incredible amount of guilt for getting her girlfriend into the situation she’s in. She feels if she’d followed her heart and been less indecisive, she could have saved Therila a lot of hardship.

That said, Zeph has grown very attached to her new friends she’s met, so that would make changing things hard. There’s several things she wants to help them with and the idea of not being able to help wouldn’t sit well with her. Zeph would feel like she was abandoning her new friends for Therila.

She’d still change things, if she could, because she would want to spare Therila what she’s been through, but it would be with a heavy heart. If she could find a way to have it both ways, she’d do it in an instant. 5) What is their favourite weapon to wield?

Her magique. She has a dagger and a quarterstaff, but neither of those has really felt “right” for her, nor have they been particularly useful. Her magic, though, is not only incredibly useful and versatile, but more importantly it’s a part of her. Not only, that, it’s a part of her that she loves. Zeph gets frustrated at her inability to tap into it, or control it, but she’s never felt negatively towards her magic itself. Because when she gets it right, she feels powerful, incredible, even celestial. It feels right, and it feels good.

6) If you could behove them one magical item, what would you give them?

Robes of Self Confidence! Ring of Decisiveness. Underwear of Stop Doubting Yourself and Be More Assertive.

Or, idk. Boosting her charisma further would be nice, I guess??? I don’t know enough about dnd magical items. Also some of the stuff she has is already pretty sweet so I can’t complain. (She has a cloak that can let her turn into a raven for an hour! It’s baller.) 7) If they didn’t have to adventure, would they stop?

No. She’s gotten a taste for blood now. Nothing can stop her.

Jk, but still no because she’s kind of found her calling in it. She gets to help people, and wants to continue doing so until she finds a better way to help people that maybe involves less murder and nearly dying all the time. 8) What do they look for in a platonic or romantic partner?

Passion, and compassion. A strong moral compass and the courage to not only adhere to it, but stand up for it as well. A sense of humor and some self-confidence doesn’t hurt, either.

Also, it’s not a thing she consciously looks for, but one thing that all of her previous partners have in common is that they are/were all very assertive people. Make of that what you will lmao 9) Do they trust easily? Yes and no. When she was younger, I would say yes without a doubt, but she’s put her trust in the wrong people more than a few times throughout the years and I think that’s made her wiser than she lets on.

I think the best way to describe it is that, if she hasn’t been given reason not to, she’s willing to give people a chance and will put herself out there even knowing it could end badly. She’s been hurt enough times to believe it’s a risk, but she believes in people as a whole enough to also believe it’s a risk worth taking. She’ll believe in you until you give her reason not to.

10) What is their favourite colour?

Blues and greens tend to be her favorite, so I’ll go halfway and say blue-green. Robin’s egg blue.

She also likes bright yellow. Just, not on her. 11) Diplomatic or aggressive?

I’m gonna say diplomatic, but I think it would be more accurate to say she was manipulative than truly compromising like diplomacy tends to imply. She’s aggressive about her morals, but I don’t think I’d call her aggressive overall, and she’s definitely not the punchy sort. She definitely prefers non-violent solutions to problems and disagreements. Unless you’re an utter monster but I’m not sure that counts. 12) They get arrested, and thrown in jail, how do they escape?

Probably most likely to talk herself out of jail. If she’d been put in there unjustly, she’d try and prove it. If she was there justly, she’d try and suggest alternate ways she could serve whatever sentence she’s been given, or if her sentence was pretty minimal and none of her friends were in danger, she’d just serve it.

If talking didn’t work, she’d try and get a guard close enough to incapacitate them, which she would do via hold person or fire + hot metal prison bars. Get the keys, go from there. Or if there was a window, she’d see if there was a way to climb out that way. 13) Would they leave their party for any reason?

Currently and for the short-term future, she would only leave if they would no longer have her. She’s rather attached on a personal level, and beyond that, they’ve done a lot for her and she feels it’s only right to do a lot for them in return.

The only way other than that would be for them to do something really morally reprehensible, but I can’t really see them doing something bad enough for her to just up and leave. 14) If they could own any creature as a pet, what would they have? 

A GRIFFIN. Or she would, if they didn’t eat horses at best and people at worst.

More realistically, she’d probably like to have some sort of fat lil’ songbird, provided she didn’t have to keep it in a cage. If not a bird, a rabbit or a guinea pig would also do.

15) How have you influenced your characters personality?

Unfortunately my stupidity and inability to tell a coherent story for the life of me has been inflicted upon Zephrine. She can be kinda ditzy lol

Also my temper, a bit.  But also my desire to do good and my love of the arts and also pretty things!

Oh, but also my anxiety. I’m SORRY Zephrine lmao 16) Do they have any tattoos? If so what? If not, do you think they would get one in the future?

Nope, and no.  She appreciates them on other people,  but they're not really for her.

The Tiamat mark on her arm doesn’t count. 17) Where would they like to be in ten years time?

Alive, surrounded by friends and making the world a better place. She’s found love and managed to keep it. Therila is safe and happy, her friends are safe and happy. Her mother isn’t alone when Zeph isn’t there, and is content. Zeph travels a lot, be it with her partner, her friends, or both, righting the wrongs of the world, changing things for the better and helping others along the way. They travel, but they always have a home they can return to when they need to catch their breath. Ideally in the more literal, physical sense- in which case there needs to be flowers, and lots of them- but the metaphorical sense works, too. She’s found her calling, her purpose in life and she’s able to guide others to theirs, as well. The world has less suffering in it than it did before and it feels like she’s able to make a difference.

Zephrine knows that’s probably not realistic, and she knows that life never really goes the way you want or plan, but she’s certainly going to try and make things reality where she can. She’s gonna at least make an effort.

18) What do they look like? Either description or picture.

She looks like if a dragon and a disney princess had a baby together.

And if I’m feeling more descriptive, I’d say she’s got shiny brass scales and the rounded brass dragon crest to match, big orangey-brown eyes with some yellow towards the pupils. She’s got a ‘3’ mouth, kinda like a python. It’s very cute.

Body-wise, she’s built like a ballerina, with legs for days and a lean musculature. She’s got slightly broad shoulders, kinda narrow hips, and a tail that she has to lift slightly at the end so it doesn’t drag on the floor. The end of it kinda looks like a giant leaf. She also has small, useless dragon wings that are either cute or creepy depending on who you ask.

Clothes-wise and just in general, she’s very meticulous about hygiene and just as meticulous about her appearance. She doesn’t have the excessive ruffles and lace and gemstones of someone upper class, but everything she wears tends to be colorful and chosen very carefully. She tends to be a fan of bishop/peasant sleeves and either A-line dresses or long, flowy tunics. She’s also big on putting in little details, like a fancy belt buckle or some really nice boots. She’s very fashion-conscientious but not completely impractical.

19) What genre of music would they be into?

Zeph appreciates all types of music and that would be no different if she had access to our stuff. From rap to metal to bluegrass, she’ll pick bits of anything, but her favorites would likely be dance mixes of upbeat pop songs, or something with synthpop. Or funk/r&b??? Something she can either dance to or something indulgently sad she can listen to while languidly lounging and being dramatic and morose. Depends on her mood. 20) What would be the worst thing someone could say to them?

“I hear dragons hoard things like gems and weapons and armor. I think your hoard might be failed relationships and promises you can’t keep!”

Basically anything along the lines of: You really should stop trying; You don’t know what you’re doing; You’re just a hindrance; You’re not actually helping people; Why are you trying to help others when you can’t even sort out your own problems, etc.

Imply or outright state that she just causes trouble for other people, especially if it’s something she can’t refute. Poke her right in the insecurity.

[keichanz]

Out of Time

First off, let me just begin by sayING I AM SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY THIS IS FINALLY DONE YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

Secondly, I have several notes I want to make you aware of, however it’s going to get sort of lengthy because I have a lot to say, so you if you’d rather skip it and go straight to the story that’s fine. They’re more my thoughts than anything and nothing is required reading to understand the story.

You all oughta know that near the end of the story I became very lazy because I just wanted to finish the damn thing so if it seems rushed, that’s because it is. There are probably tons of errors - grammatical, spelling or otherwise - loose ends, loop holes, and plot points that I should have expounded on better, but I was just so happy to be done with it that I didn’t bother to go back, find any and fix them. Maybe someday I’ll go back and fine tune everything, but for now it’s gonna stay as is because frankly I’m sick of looking at it lmaoo.

DO YOU KNOW THIS FREAKING MONSTROSITY IS 39 GODDAMN PAGES. which is why i’m splitting it into two parts.

I, uh, sorta forgot that Kirara existed so she’s not anywhere in this fic lmao oops. So pretend she’s recovering from some injury at Kaede’s village or something.

The castle/stronghold Inuyasha and Kagome travel to is the castle that makes an appearance in the Band of Seven arc, where Bankotsu gets the Banryu back and slaughters all the humans living there. I am no expert on medieval Japanese castles, so everything mentioned about them is probably not accurate but again, I don’t care so whatevs lol.

Actually there’s probably a lot of things in this monstrosity that’s not accurate so just...idk pretend that everything is true and factual lol.

Oh I guess I should mention this takes place perhaps a year or so after the Band of Seven arc so I tried to make it as realistic as possible and added rotting bodies and the like so. Meh.

Throughout writing this I kept switching between Tessaiga and Tetsusaiga and ended up sticking with the latter because honestly to me it looks better and that’s what I’ve always used anyway. I also didn’t know whether to use English terms for demons or go with youkai, and decided to stick with the Japanese terms because I also like that one better haha. 

Uh....okay so I guess it wasn’t that long, but still, I know some people don’t like to read author’s notes and just go straight to the story. I’ll probably edit this later when I think of something else I wanted to say but can’t think of right now.

Please forgive any inconsistencies regarding Inuyasha’s appearance; I’m so used to writing him as silver-haired and dog-eared that sometimes I’ll forget myself and describe his hanyou attributes instead of his human ones.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings and on with the story! Please, please, PLEASE enjoy this stupid oneshot that took over my life and caused me serious lack of sleep.

Read it on AO3 || Fanfiction.net

Part 2

“Take your shirt off. At this point it’s just a rag hanging off your body and we can’t leave that unwrapped.”

Kagome made a face, afraid that he was going to say that, but she didn’t protest because she knew he was right. So with a resigned sigh, Kagome attempted to pull off her wet-and-ruined-beyond-recognition shirt without moving her arm too much. But when it became apparent she couldn’t lift her arm much without gasping in pain and tears pricking her eyes, large hands gently brushed hers away and went about ripping the garment off of her with a few deft flicks of his wrist, the already torn fabric tearing easily under his strength despite it being damp.

She stared woefully at the bloodstained, torn, dirty and still damp shirt as he pulled it away, too exhausted mentally and physically to care that she was sitting topless in front of him with only her bra to preserve her modesty. It was just as well, she supposed; its purpose as a shirt had long ago been sacrificed to bandage the gash on her thigh and with it being as torn and filthy as it was she may as well have been running around topless anyway.

Wordlessly Kagome watched him rip off yet another section of the garment as a makeshift bandage, taking a moment to wrap what was left of it around Tetsusaiga for later use before kneeling before her and wrapping up the laceration on her arm. Kagome studied him quietly with tired but alert brown eyes. He was in just as bad a shape as she was, probably more so because of his deeply engrained instinct to protect her at all costs. Because of that he was covered in more cuts and bruises than she was, his hakama and suikan torn in several places, darkened with new and old blood, and still slightly damp from their plunge into the river hours earlier. She noted the angry downward slash of black brows over fierce violet eyes, his strong jaw clenched and his lips pinched into a tight line as he knotted the fabric over the worst of the cut to keep pressure on it.

She knew the sight of her – dirty, exhausted, and wounded – was something that he blamed himself for and she wished he wouldn’t. Their situation was neither of their faults, and she didn’t know how many times she’d told him it was just bad timing, that there wasn’t anything they could have done to prevent it. She knew he was worried, both for them and for those they sought, and the guilt in his eyes was plain to see every time he looked at her or whenever he cleaned one of her cuts.

After all, nobody could have predicted their friends would end up in mortal danger on the night of the new moon. Nobody could have guessed that the youkai that kidnapped them – masquerading as a human – would have a human army at his disposal, and they most certainly wouldn’t haven known they would be forcefully driven away from the stronghold that kept their friends by said human army, using bows, swords, and javelins. Inuyasha and Kagome had had no choice but to flee for their lives before the weapons did more the just graze their skin. Kagome had gotten stuck in the thigh on their bid for freedom and after that Inuyasha had swooped her up into his arms and ran.

It was only after the sounds of the men chasing them had disappeared perhaps an hour later that Inuyasha deemed it safe enough to finally stop and treat her wound and that had been the first time they used her shirt as a bandage. Since they hadn’t been able to grab anything before fleeing, Kagome’s bag with all her medical supplies and her bow and arrows were still at the camp and when they’d tentatively gone back to retrieve them, they’d found everything missing. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the army had ransacked their camp and taken their belongings with them.

It also hadn’t taken long to decide to go back and rescue their friends – not going back hadn’t even been an option – and of course Kagome had to argue with Inuyasha to accompany him since he’d been deadest on leaving her behind. It was only after she’d pointed out they were too far away from Kaede’s village that Inuyasha had begrudgingly given in, hating the fact that it made sense. It would only be wasting what little time they may have to rescue them to go all the way to the village then turn right back around and head toward what they thought to be the youkai’s stronghold.

A soft breeze filtered through the trees and Kagome, not for the first time, silently thanked the gods that it was a warm night. Her newest injury, the one Inuyasha had just bandaged, had been caused by another run-in of their quarry’s patrolling soldiers some twenty minutes ago and without Inuyasha’s enhanced hearing or smell, he’d been unable to detect their presence or the whizzing arrow’s path until it was too late. Kagome’s scream of pain had been Inuyasha’s only warning before a barrage of spears and arrows rained down on them and Inuyasha hadn’t even had time to think before he grabbed Kagome, dove into the trees to their left and ended up rolling down an incline into the river. Kagome barely had time to draw in a breath before Inuyasha had submerged them once again and urged her to swim along the bottom of the river away from their attackers.

Thankfully they’d managed to lose them and so now here they were, in the middle of the forest on the night of the new moon, still hours away from daybreak, both of them filthy, sore, exhausted and sporting cuts and bruises everywhere. They had no idea what condition their friends were in, if they were even still alive – although they both tried to avoid thinking about that – or if they could even survive the night with those damn soldiers on the prowl and actively looking for them with orders to no doubt eliminate. Kagome and Inuyasha were sure it was only sheer blind luck that they’d managed to escape with only minimal bruising and wounds thus far, and not for the first time cursed the fact that it was the new moon. Had Inuyasha been hanyou he’d be able to evade the warriors completely in the treetops, easily track down their friends, knock down anybody who got in his way and the five of them would be on their way back to Kaede’s village, safe, uninjured, and together again.

But it did them no good to dwell on the what if’s and could have been so Kagome focused on the here and now, studying Inuyasha’s face in the dark, barely able to make out his features but close enough to see the worry and pain he was trying to hide. He hadn’t gotten away unscathed either, Kagome recalled, and though she wanted to treat his wounds too, it would be a lost cause because she knew he wouldn’t let her, telling her they were just “scratches” and they’d be gone in a few hours, anyway. It was true, though that didn’t mean she had to like it.

Right at the moment, though, the regret in his eyes and face was prominent and before she could stop herself her hand rose and gently touched the cut that slashed through his right eyebrow, still oozing blood that trailed down his face. Her touch drew his eyes to hers and she tried to convey everything she wanted to say to him through her gaze, willing him to understand that it wasn’t his fault, that none of this was his burden to bear.

Kagome offered him a thin smile that bespoke of her exhaustion but it was genuine and she was gratified to see Inuyasha’s expression soften slightly. He sighed, closed his eyes and brought a hand up to capture hers, pressing her palm to his cheek and simply relishing in her touch.

They were silent, reveling in the knowledge that they were together, still alive, and however battered and bruised, were determined to find and rescue their companions.

Another zephyr whispered through the trees and Kagome shivered that time, her wet hair not at all helping her plight to remain relatively warm despite the nice weather. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by her companion and wordlessly Inuyasha straightened before shrugging out of his suikan. Kagome smiled but then it faded in confusion when instead of handing it to her, he dropped it to the ground and instead shed his kosode before dropping it over her shoulders and redonning his suikan. She was about to ask why his kosode instead of his firerat, but stopped when she noted the less than stellar condition of the robe. Since he was human the self-repairing properties of the garment were not in effect and with it riddled with holes and stained with blood, it wouldn’t do much to cover her.

Gratefully Kagome shoved her arms through the sleeves, still damp but uncaring and since it was large on her, she gathered the hem and knotted it at her waist. It gaped in the front and showed a slight amount of cleavage and the fabric of her bra, but she didn’t care since it more or less covered her up and she doubted Inuyasha gave it a second thought either. They were both too tired, too sore to be embarrassed and driven in their mission to rescue their friends for Kagome’s modesty to even be a footnote in their minds.

Inuyasha left the firerat hanging open and reached down to help Kagome to her feet. They both knew they had little time to stand around and regather their strength, however Inuyasha needed to take stock of his wench’s condition; she was so much more fragile than him, more prone to bruising and wounds and it fucking terrified him that she was here with him, being hunted by those damn warriors, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that, so the least he could do was make sure she was well taken care of. Or at least, as well taken care of as she could be given the circumstances.

“Doing okay?” he muttered, sweeping an unruly strand of damp hair behind her ear and not liking how pale she was.

Kagome gave him another smile and though her dark eyes had lost their usual brightness due to fatigue and pain, it was genuine. “Yes,” she answered simply and pressed a hand to his bare chest, over his heart. “You?”

The corner of his lip twitched up into a half-grin. “Keh,” he mumbled. “I’m tougher than you humans. I’ll live.”

“You are one of those humans right now,” Kagome softly reminded him, her smile fading but not disappearing. “I just…I know you’re stronger than me, and your skin probably is a little tougher than mine, but…Inuyasha, promise me you won’t be so reckless from now on. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve been shielding me from the worst of it.” She leveled him with a knowing look, daring him to lie.

Inuyasha didn’t answer because she was right; his scored and bleeding back could attest to that and he simply stared at her, completely unapologetic.

His silence unsettled her and she must have seen the resolve in his eyes because her chocolate eyes grew wide and her hands clutched the open sides of his robe, her voice holding a hint of desperation as she pleaded, “Inuyasha, promise me.”

He didn’t know if it was their situation, the look in her eyes or his unwavering resolve to always protect her, but whatever the reason Inuyasha couldn’t stop himself from lifting his hands and gently cupping her face, her soft gasp of surprise reaching his ears. “My first priority will always be your safety, Kagome, and if that means taking a few measly arrows in your stead…” His meaning was clear as he trailed off, his dark eyes intense as he willed her to understand what he didn’t say.

If it meant Kagome would live to see another day, he would gladly lay his life down for hers.

By the way Kagome’s eyes glistened with the threat of tears, Inuyasha knew she’d gotten his message loud and clear. “Inuyasha—”

Inuyasha sighed and stalled any further protests by dropping an unexpected kiss to her forehead. “We don’t have time to argue about this, Kagome. Later, after we find and rescue the others and everyone is safe we can discuss my ‘recklessness’ all you want, but for right now we need to concentrate on staying hidden and taking down the bastard that took our friends. Alright?”

It was clear by the way she pursed her lips and pouted up at him that she wanted to continue the conversation, but she knew he was right, even if she didn’t want to admit it, and gave in with a nod and a small sigh. Still, she couldn’t help but saying, “Please, just…be more careful. For me.”

That was something he could do and his reply was a quiet hum of acquiescence coupled with another press of his lips to her forehead. “Deal, wench. Now let’s get moving; the longer we stay in one spot, the more likely it is they’ll find us.”

Kagome nodded again, appeased now that her beloved hanyou-turned-human would also think of his own life instead of just hers, and didn’t protest when he took her hand and tugged her deeper into the trees. By silent agreement they both kept a lookout for their pursuers while simultaneously taking stock of where exactly they were. Inuyasha wasn’t certain, but he suspected they were pretty far north and relayed as much to Kagome.

“North,” Kagome repeated with a thoughtful frown and grabbed Inuyasha’s hands as he helped her over a fallen tree. “North…wait—isn’t that where the Ox Tiger is?”

Inuyasha snapped his gaze to her and his brows dipped as he considered her words. “No, I think that was more northeast if I remember,” he mused, hooking her waist with an arm and bringing her down next to him. He stared over her shoulder at nothing, his expression contemplative, something tugging at the back of his mind insisting that he was missing something crucial here—

“The Band of Seven,” Inuyasha suddenly blurted at the same time Kagome said, “Mount Hakurei.”

Kagome’s eyes widened and Inuyasha clasped his hand urgently onto Kagome’s arms as they both realized the same thing. “But it was destroyed,” he reminded her with a small shake of his head. “There’s nothing left but big ass spikes and boulders.”

She seemed to deflate a little at that observation and she sighed, wrinkling her nose. “Oh yeah,” she mumbled. “I forgot.”

Inuyasha cursed as he thrust a hand through his hair in frustration, scowling off into the trees. He knew there was something else he was forgetting, something they were both missing. It was right there, in the back of his mind, on the tip of his tongue, taunting him with the knowledge that they would be that much closer to finding the others if he’d only remember…

“—a human army,” Kagome was saying but he was only listening with half an ear, “wouldn’t there have to be like…a castle, or something—”

Inuyasha whipped his head round so fast Kagome gave a soft gasp of alarm.

“What’s wro—”

“What did you say?” he demanded, his words urgent, gaze fixated on hers.

Kagome blinked and repeated what she’d just said while thinking aloud, “I said, he has a human army so wouldn’t there have to be some sort of castle or something—”

“The castle,” Inuyasha cut her off for a second time, his eyes widening as he once more seized Kagome’s arms in excitement. “The fucking castle, Kagome!”

Kagome opened her mouth, closed it, and gave him a puzzled look. “I don’t…what castle?”

He made a sound of impatience. “The castle where Banryu was kept!”

He was rewarded with another blank stare and Inuyasha scowled and was about to open his mouth to yell at her to use that damn brain of hers when she suddenly gasped and went stiff under his hands. Kagome’s eyes grew large to match his own as her hands came up to wrap around his wrists. “The feudal lord’s stronghold,” she muttered, more to herself than to him. “That could—but isn’t it in ruins?” she asked, frowning again, not daring to hope. “After Bankotsu got the halberd back, he slaughtered the lord and all of the humans residing in it. No one’s been there since it happened.”

“But a youkai wouldn’t care about that,” Inuyasha insisted, growing more certain of his conclusion by the second. “Actually it’s damn near perfect for a youkai that likes his privacy; the foul stench of death and blood with the occasional dismembered body would drive away any lower level youkai sniffing around the area and I’m pretty sure no human would dare venture anywhere near it after what happened there.”

Unbidden tears filled Kagome’s eye and she gave a watery smile, squeezing his wrists. “Do you think—”

“Yeah,” he said and offered his own grin in return, feeling like they were finally getting somewhere for the first time since the entire event started. “That’s gotta be it. There’s nothing else in the region except for the temple Renkotsu took over and that’s burned to the ground. I doubt he’d care to cross the lake onto Hijiri Island, and the village where that damn Suikotsu stayed is too small to hold any interest for him. So that leaves the only structure large enough to house a human army and since he no doubt thinks himself as a high ranking youkai—”

Kagome launching herself at him with a choked laugh cut off the rest of Inuyasha’s sentence and he happily returned her embrace, the relief at finally having a lead on where their friends might be rushing through him like a temporary high and without even thinking it through Inuyasha leaned back, grasped Kagome’s chin to tilt her face upward and dipped down—

Unbidden the hairs on the back of Inuyasha’s neck stood on end and he barely had time to seize Kagome around the waist before spinning with her crushed to her chest and taking the arrow meant for her in his right shoulder. Kagome cried out in a mixture of alarm and dismay as Inuyasha grunted in pain, but there wasn’t any time to assess the damage. Amid Kagome’s fretting concerns asking if he was alright, he could hear the human soldiers closing in, making no effort to muffle their approach with their battle cries of victory and thundering charge through the trees toward them so gritting his teeth against the pain Inuyasha took off as fast as he could, half-dragging Kagome behind him as he dodged boulders, logs and ducked under low hanging branches.

Struggling to keep up with Inuyasha’s frantic pace, Kagome stumbled and grit her teeth as her ankle rolled painfully beneath her weight. Her left thigh throbbed as the gash there pulled and stretched with her movement and she felt the warmth of fresh blood as it reopened, staining the dirty bandage.

“Dammit, Kagome, keep up!” Inuyasha hollered behind him and looked over his shoulder past her into the trees behind them. Shit, their assailants were getting closer and they weren’t going fast enough!

“I’m—trying—” Kagome gasped and pushed herself to go faster, pumping her legs, her breath wheezing in and out of her lungs. “Inu—ahh!”

Abruptly Inuyasha stopped with a rough sound of frustration, but it was directed more at their situation than the young woman that collided against him with a grunt, struggling to catch her breath. He paid her no mind as he frantically looked around at their surroundings, desperately searching for something to hide behind, trees with low enough branches to climb, fuck, he didn’t care what it was but they needed to find some kind of cover, quickly, because Inuyasha knew to keep running meant a gruesome end and he’d kill himself before he ever let that happen to his Kagome.

C’mon, c’mon, where—

An arrow thudded into the thick tree right next to them and Kagome released a quiet cry of fright, crowding up against him. “Inuyasha—”

Fuck. Out of time.

With zero hesitation Inuyasha reached behind him to yank out the arrow still embedded into his shoulder, ignoring the burning pain that splintered across his back and arm. He tossed it aside carelessly and with an arm secured around her waist, Inuyasha dove behind the large tree where the arrow had landed, hoping the wide girth and cover of darkness would be enough to keep them hidden as he pressed back against the rough bark, drew Kagome between his knees and pressed her head into his chest.

“Don’t move,” he hissed in her ear just as a dozen soldiers burst from the trees behind them and the couple froze.

Kagome tried to make herself as small as possible against him, tucking her legs up, pressing into his chest and hunching her shoulders, holding her breath. He could feel her shaking against him and he tightened his hold around her, sucking in a quiet breath and pressing back tight into the tree as he closed his eyes, hoping, praying they wouldn’t think to look behind any trees. That’d be too obvious, right?

He clenched his jaw and buried his face in Kagome’s hair. Please…please let me keep her safe.

“What the fuck, Wakashi! You missed!”

“You gave away our position, you bloody idiot! Don’t shoot if you’re not absolutely certain you’ll hit!”

“At least I actually hit something! You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn even if it was ten feet in front of you!”

“You son of a—”

“Would you three shut the fuck up?! Your foolish squabbling is loud enough to wake the dead—”

“Ah, stuff it, Yoshino, you didn’t even want to come in the first place.”

“That’s because I have better things to do than chase after some worthless half-breed and his whore.”

Kagome flinched and Inuyasha bit down on his lip hard to stifle the cry of outrage that welled up. He could hear them walking around as they bickered and insulted each other, thankfully not coming close enough to their hiding spot, but still, Inuyasha was getting anxious and his heart was thudding painfully in his chest. They were staying too long, lingering; why the fuck weren’t they moving on?

“If you four are done bitching and complaining like petty children,” came a much deeper voice and the clank of armor suggested the speaker was the head of the squadron, “then I suggest we move onward. The targets are obviously not here or we would have found them already. Let’s move out.”

“I saw them, Daisuke,” the man who’d shot the arrow insisted. “I know I did—the abomination was wearing red, right? What else is red in the middle of the fucking forest?”

“A giant bird?”

“A youkai?”

“Your wife?”

The last one elicited rowdy guffaws from the rest of the soldiers along with Wakashi’s indignant protest and even Inuyasha had to withhold a snort of amusement.

“Enough!” Daisuke bellowed and the men immediately silenced at his less than pleased tone. “I want all of you to branch out, now—Sosuke, you and Wakashi head west, Yoshino, Nobu, due east, and the rest of you continue north toward the stronghold. Master Yuudai warned us that despite his status as a lowly half-breed, he is smarter than the average youkai and could have figured out where his human companions are being held. You must prevent them from breeching the walls. Now move out, all of you.”

The warriors obeyed their commander without question, though there were a few grumbles and when footsteps approached their tree, Inuyasha stiffened as his blood ran cold. Kagome tensed and he knew she heard it, too.

“Are you daft, Wakashi? That is not west,” the presumed Sosuke spoke up, his voice thankfully not any closer than it was before.

“Can it, So, I needa get my arrow. They don’t exactly make ‘em like they use to, y’know.”

“Yeah, yeah, hurry it up, you bastard.”

“Fuck off, bloody arsehole.”

Closer and closer the footsteps drew near and Inuyasha knew he had to do something. Though the tree was wide and the night was dark, he couldn’t take even the miniscule of chances of him discovering them. But what could he do? God, there had to be something, anything he could do to distract him, divert their attention so they could sneak away—

Wakashi was just on the other side of the tree and Inuyasha didn’t give himself time to think. With a colorful mental curse and clenching his jaw so hard it ached, he swiftly jerked Tetsusaiga from his hip and prayed the cover of darkness wouldn’t give him away as he stretched his arm out and flung his sword as hard as he could in the opposite direction, away for their hiding spot.

Kagome sucked in a sharp breath and without missing a beat he clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound with a hissed warning in her ear to stay quiet.

Tetsusaiga clattered against several trees as it sailed through the air and on its descent to the ground, as Inuyasha had hoped, and it successfully drew Wakashi’s, and Sosuke’s attention as it fell to the ground somewhere beyond the shadows, a satisfactory distance away from them.

“What was that?” Sosuke said sharply and was already moving to investigate. “Fuck—I think it’s them! Forget your damn arrow, Waka, we can’t let them get away!”

“Goddamn—wait for me, you bloody arsehole!” Rabid footsteps followed after Sosuke into the trees and Inuyasha didn’t waste a second.

“Run, go!” he hissed and gave Kagome a shove as he scrambled to his feet, catching Kagome’s arm and heaving her upright when she stumbled. “Go!”

Kagome did as she was told, forcing her legs to support her weight as she rushed headlong into the darkness before her with Inuyasha on her heels. Blindly she reached back and when his hand closed around hers she released a soft sob of relief and then both of them were swatting away branches and stumbling their way through the forest, trying to put as much distance between them and their pursuers while they could. Inuyasha tried not to think about just how he’d granted them the opportunity to flee and even though he knew he’d get his sword back again, it was still hard to leave it behind, and it was stupid but he felt like he was betraying his Fang.

Forcefully he shoved those thoughts away to worry over at a later time; right now he needed all of his concentration and energy saving their asses as they struggled to run in the dark to what he hoped was north, toward this Yuudai bastard’s stronghold.

It was slow going; they weren’t going nearly as fast as Inuyasha wanted them to, but then again it was difficult to go fast when you couldn’t see where you were going. They stumbled, tripped, slipped and fell, but never stopped. Whenever Kagome went down, Inuyasha was there to heave her back up and when Inuyasha faltered, Kagome urged him back to his feet. It was tedious, and exhausting, and damn right frustrating, but they knew giving up was not an option.

They didn’t know how long they ran for but it felt like hours until they came to a small incline and Inuyasha urged Kagome to climb, only sparing enough breath to tell her to use the trees as leverage to hoist herself upward before demonstrating himself. Though her breath was coming in wheezes and she must have been on her last reserve of strength, Kagome followed without complaint, forcing her tired muscles to heave herself up using the limbs of trees and when she neared the top Inuyasha grabbed her hands and dragged her the rest of the way up.

Falling back against a nearby tree as Kagome collapsed against him, Inuyasha grunted and his legs abruptly gave out on him. Down he went, sliding to the ground and Kagome went with him, clutching the sides of his firerat as she shuddered and gasped for breath against him.

Automatically his arm went around her, keeping her cradled against his chest and for several minutes they did nothing but breathe, recovering from their frantic rush through the forest and as the adrenaline faded away, every little ache and pain made itself known with deep aches and twinges, muscles throbbing from hard use. Both of them were covered with welts and scratches from braches and they stung from the thin layer of sweat covering their skin.

Leaning his head back against tree, Inuyasha closed his eyes and winced, knowing they couldn’t stay here long; they needed adequate cover before they could truly rest, but for now they could at least catch their breath.

God, when was the last time he’d run like that, desperate, frantic to get away? Inuyasha was stunned to realize, after a brief journey through memory lane, that the last time had been as a pup fleeing from those bigger and stronger than him seeking an easy meal or wanted to kill him for sport. And he was willing to bet for Kagome this had been the first time she’d been running for her life, and Inuyasha vowed that it would also be the last.

And speaking off, Kagome was going limp against him, her breathing evening out and he knew she was seconds away from nodding off in exhaustion. He couldn’t let that happen, not until they had a safe place to rest.

Grimacing, not without a stab of guilt, Inuyasha nudged the young woman resting against him and when that didn’t work, he grabbed her shoulder and shook her back awake. “Kagome,” he rumbled, voice hoarse. She whined. “C’mon, you can’t sleep yet. We need to find a safe place first.”

Kagome groaned and shook her head and then winced when her body protested even that small movement. “Nooo,” she breathed, unable to muster the strength to even lift her head. “Tired.”

Inuyasha sighed and reached between them to grasp her shoulders, gently leaning her upright. “I know, I am too, but we can’t stay here. C’mon, we just need to get down the other side of this hill. I can see some rocks and what looks like a big ass hollowed out tree trunk that might work. It’s not that far and then after we’re safe, I promise you can rest. Alright?”

No, it was not alright. Instead Kagome huffed, gave a little whine of frustration, but with great reluctant somehow managed to muster up the strength to push herself upright on her own, using his chest as leverage. “I don’t like you right now,” she pouted and willed her legs to obey her silent commands to get up. They stubbornly refused to listen.

“I know.” With every ounce of strength he had left Inuyasha heaved himself to his feet, wincing as his muscles twinged in protest but he ignored it. “C’mon, wench,” he urged when she still hadn’t moved. “Get up.”

Kagome bit her lip and tried, but pain shot through her wounded thigh and she gasped. Clasping her hands over the gash that had started bleeding again through the already soaked-through bandage, she sounded near tears as she admitted, “Inuyasha, I don’t think I can.” Gritting her teeth against the pain she shot him a helpless look.

Inuyasha grimaced. As much as he wanted to assist her, he knew he wouldn’t be able to support both his weight and hers and he tried to make his voice gentle as he said, “Then scoot down on your ass if you have to, but we have to move, wench.” With that Inuyasha carefully picked his way down the slope, using limbs and trees to keep him from sliding too much until he was safely at the bottom. He looked back to find Kagome doing as he’d suggested, and though she didn’t look too happy about it, she was slowly sliding down on her bottom while at the same time trying to keep her skirt from revealing more than she’d bargained for. He grinned in amusement despite himself then shook his head and went to poke around the rocks and trunk a few feet away.

Immense relief swept through him when he discovered there was a little nook large enough for both of them to hide out in for at least an hour or so and after making sure no animal had sought shelter within, he came back around and found Kagome pale-faced and breathing heavily leaning against the rocks. He hated to make her move even an inch more, but it was necessary.

“A little further, wench,” he told her and she loudly groaned her displeasure before obeying and crawling the small distance where he stood. Inuyasha ducked inside before her and arranged himself so he was facing the opening with his knees bent. With the wood of the truck creating a ceiling of sorts as it jutted out and the rock waling them in it suited their purposes just fine.

Though he doubted she could truly see him in the dark, Kagome was peering at him from the low opening and he beckoned her forward with a wave of his hand. “C’mere,” he muttered and instantly she was crawling the rest of the way in, settling herself between his raised knees and collapsing against his chest with a long, drawn out sigh of relief. He gathered her into his arms as she stretched her leg out and Inuyasha gently probed her thigh, frowning when his fingers touched warm wetness. Shit, she was bleeding again and there wasn’t a damn thing they could do about it, not in this darkness and when they could barely move.

She must have known where his mind wandered off to because Kagome covered his hand where it lay on her thigh and gave it a soft squeeze. “S’okay,” she whispered, seconds from slipping into slumber. “It’ll stop.”

He didn’t say anything and prayed that she wasn’t losing too much blood or infection wasn’t setting in as he dragged the sleeve of his robe over her thighs and pressed it against the wound. She winced softly but otherwise didn’t protest. The injury he’d gotten from the arrow had already clotted, he was sure, so at least he didn’t have to worry about that on top of everything else. Threading their fingers together, Inuyasha swallowed the lump in his throat and pressed his lips to her temple.

“We can only stay for a bit,” he told her. “Just until we get back a little of our strength and we’re not dead on our feet. Get some rest and I’ll wake you in an hour or so, alright?”

Kagome sighed, gave a nearly imperceptible nod, but instead of instantly nodding off like he expected her to, she uttered after a slight hesitation, “…I’m sorry, Inuyasha.”

He cast a puzzled frown at her. “What for?”

Her guilt was obvious as she replied, “If I hadn’t stumbled, if—if I was running faster you wouldn’t have had to—”

“Stop it,” Inuyasha cut her off and tightened his arm around her. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, got it? I told you before, wench, you’re my first priority. Go. To. Sleep. We’ll talk more later.”

Of course she didn’t listen. Had he really expected anything else? “But…but it didn’t have to be Tetsusaiga! You could have used…I don’t know, my shoe or something.”

“Don’t be stupid, Kagome.

“Inuyasha.”

He growled, or at least his human vocal chords made the equivalent of one. “Throwing your shoe would have slowed you down even more, idiot. The forest floor ain’t exactly a grassy meadow.”

She paused and then sounded adorably contrite as she muttered, “Oh.”

Bringing a hand up to tiredly rub his eyes, Inuyasha heaved a sigh and said softly, with more patience than he thought he had, “It’s not like I don’t know where it’s going,” he assured, secretly pleased that she was as worried about his Fang as he was. “They took your bow, didn’t they? So it stands to reason they’ll probably take Tetsusaiga to the stronghold, too. I ain’t too worried. S’not like that Yuu-bastard can use it, and if it turns out a human stole it, I’ll just sniff ‘em out when I’m hanyou again and take it back. No problem.”

Kagome wrinkled her nose and still didn’t sound appeased. “I guess so.”

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop his lips from twitching upward. “Keh. I know so, wench. Now would you quit your worryin’ and get some rest? The more time you spend yakkin’, the less time you have to rest and the more tired you’ll be when we get movin’ again.”

In answer Kagome wiggled around to get more comfortable and when she started muttering to herself about how the hard ground made it hard for her to sleep, Inuyasha shook his head and stalled her useless squirming by abruptly lifting her up and shifting around to cross his legs before settling her back down into the cradle of his folded legs. She made a soft noise of appreciation and wrapped her arms around his waist beneath his robe, tucking her head under his chin, and then finally drifting off with a small sigh.

With Kagome wrapped safely in his arms, Inuyasha stayed awake for as long as he could, determined to keep watch and protect his wench, but eventually the lull of sleep was too difficult to fight anymore and with a quiet sigh he closed his eyes and succumbed.  

When he woke up a little over an hour later, grateful for his deeply engrained survival instincts for allowing him to set an internal alarm clock of sorts, he was alert within a few seconds and the first thing Inuyasha noticed was that Kagome was awake as well. Surprising, but definitely welcome. Waking Kagome was never a pleasure since it always took two or three tries to rouse her and if she didn’t get enough sleep she was always crabby for the rest of the day.

Now he was just glad he didn’t have to spend time they didn’t have waking her up.

An ache in his neck and shoulders made itself known right then and Inuyasha winced, rolling his shoulders to reduce the stiffness and not for the first time cursing his weak human body for being prone to such aches. What a pain in the ass. And neck. And shoulders. And—

“Hey.”

Settling back against the hard stone, Inuyasha sighed and gave the woman in his lap his full attention. “Hey,” he said and belatedly realized that he could make out Kagome’s features a little better than before. It only served to remind him that time was not on their side. How many more hours until sunrise? Four? Three?

Kagome must have realized the same thing because he felt her tense as she whispered, “I can see you. I mean I could before, sort of, but now it’s…”

Inuyasha’s tone was grim. “Yeah.” He paused. “I’m surprised you’re already awake.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Well, it’s not from lack of trying,” Kagome admitted petulantly and Inuyasha could just make out the pout on her face. “I don’t know if it’s some kind of…deeply rooted survival instinct or something, but it’s like I’m trying to unconsciously distract myself from our less than pleasant situation, because even though I know I need to rest, my brain is like ‘let’s think about that really embarrassing thing you did five years ago that nobody probably even remembers and obsess over it and oh by the way, bugs. Bugs everywhere’ and how the hell am I supposed to sleep with that?”

Inuyasha coughed and turned his head to hide his grin, telling himself it really wouldn’t be a good idea to tell her how cute it was when she cursed because likely he’d received a death glare and threats of bodily harm for his troubles. Still, Inuyasha couldn’t help but liken her righteous indignation to that of a furious kitten.

And forget simple threats of bodily harm if he ever made mention of that; Kagome would inflict bodily harm on him, probably to very sensitive parts on his body, and Inuyasha promptly decided that he had a death wish because why the fuck did he suddenly feel like laughing?

Out of his peripheral he saw Kagome’s eyes narrow suspiciously at him and he fought to school his features. “Problem?” she asked and her tone of voice suggested he answer very carefully.

Clearing this throat, Inuyasha tamped viciously down on his amusement and managed to retain a neutral expression as he finally turned back to her and said, “Nope. So, five years ago, huh?”

Kagome stiffened and he wondered at the blush that stole across her cheeks. “Nothing. Drop it.”

Inuyasha did not drop it. “What was it?”

“What was what?” she asked innocently, pretending to survey the canopy of treetops above them.

“Don’t play dumb, wench.”

Kagome leveled a withering glare at him and growled, “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about, Inuyasha.”

Deciding that he’d probably provoked the furious kitten long enough, Inuyasha finally heeded her less than subtle warning to shut up or else. “I’ll get it out of you yet, wench. Just wait.”

Kagome loudly snorted her opinion of that and ignored Inuyasha’s chuckle.

Shaking his head, Inuyasha sighed and gave his wench a reprieve by asking, “How ya feeling?”

Kagome eyed him for a moment, debating, but when all he did was regard her quietly, she sighed and answered, “Like I can sleep for a week.”

He snorted. His sentiments exactly.

“I’m still sore all over but at least now I think I can stand without face-planting. You? How’s your shoulder?” Without waiting for an answer she slid her hand up his back and tenderly brushed her fingertips across his shoulder blade, her lips pursing in concern when she felt the puckered edges of the hole from the arrow, crusted with dried blood.

To her surprise he let her inspect the wound with her gentle touches for a bit before shrugging his shoulder, dislodging her hand and she obediently brought it back to her lap. “S’fine,” he rumbled. “Stopped bleeding a long time ago. How’s your leg?” He patted her thigh draped over his knee in an absentminded gesture.

Experimentally Kagome shifted her left and predictably her entire thigh protested the movement. She winced and spoke honestly, “Aside from the expected soreness from hard running, it still hurts but at least it stopped bleeding. Still, I’m worried about infection. If only I had some water…”

Inuyasha sighed and regretfully shook his head. “We can’t go actively looking for a water source but if we happen to come across a creek or something we can take advantage of it.” Though he didn’t show it he was just as worried; her wounds did need to be washed and treated before they worsened. “I’m sorry, Kagome. We don’t have—”

“The time, I know,” Kagome finished wearily. “I’m really beginning to hate that word. Dammit, if only they weren’t out looking for us—!”

“There’s no use griping about it now,” Inuyasha interrupted, slightly amused and wondering if she’d been hanging around him too much if she was swearing now. “Besides, even if we could wait around until morning and for me to change back, there’s no telling how Miroku, Sango and Shippou are faring. It’s best we get there as soon as possible.”

Too late he realized his mistake as Kagome sucked in a sharp breath and she tensed against him. “Shippou…”

Inuyasha grimaced and closed his eyes, feeling guilty and damning himself for opening his big damned mouth. “Kagome…” Helplessly he tucked her closer to his chest, wishing he knew what to do, what to say to make it all better.

“I know,” Kagome sniffed and relished the feeling of being in his arms, knowing she was the safest place on earth right now.  “I just…I hope they’re okay.”

His sigh ruffled her bangs and she felt the warmth of his lips press against her forehead.  “Me, too,” he rumbled and for the next minute the two of them simply sat there, taking advantage in this last bit of peace they weren’t likely to have again for a while.

Then Inuyasha sighed and Kagome knew what he was going to say. “We need to get going. We’ve already hung around here too long.”

“Slave driver,” Kagome said but crawled out of his lap and out of their cozy little niche.

“Keh.”

Inuyasha followed her out, ignoring the various aches and soreness of his muscles as he pushed to his feet and he took a moment to stretch, getting all of the kinks and knots out of his back and heaving a satisfied sigh as his back and neck gave several pops.

Kagome was glaring at him enviously and he couldn’t help himself. He grinned at her.

Apparently the dark had lessened enough for her to make out his features because she snorted before whirling around and stalking off, grumbling under her breath and he didn’t need to hear her to be able to guess what she was grumbling about.

Chuckling he took off after her, pleased to find that his short nap had rejuvenated his strength enough that he felt good about their oncoming mission. He still wasn’t 100% of course, and wouldn’t be until he had his demonic power back, but at least he didn’t feel like he had when Tokajin body slammed him into the ground. All six hundred fucking pounds of him.

Bastard.

They walked for perhaps twenty or so minutes when Inuyasha announced they were closer to the castle than he’d originally thought and then five minutes after that they were relieved to stumble upon a small fresh water stream. They wasted no time in washing out their injuries, using Inuyasha’s suikan to scrub off the dried blood and Kagome was gratified and relieved to find that both of her wounds weren’t infected. Not yet, anyway; there was still a chance but at least the risk had lessened.

They both took the opportunity to scrub off the dirt and grime, and although it was nothing like a real bath, Kagome still felt marginally better a few minutes later when they set off for the stronghold again.

“Do we have a plan?” Kagome asked half an hour later after they finally breeched the tree line and the stronghold where their friends were being kept loomed before them. She tilted her head as she stared at the once majestic castle, wondering how on earth they were going to get inside. She’d forgotten how big the place was and despite it being abandoned for a little over a year now, Kagome was surprised how well kept it looked.

Then again, the only place that was really destroyed was the front part where they battled the Band of Seven so it stood to reason that the rest of the stronghold would remain more or less in one piece.

“Nope,” Inuyasha answered, arms crossed as he gazed up at the sky. He wagered they had about two hours left until dawn, give or take, and Inuyasha wished it was even less time. Before they were using the cover of darkness the moonless night had provided for them in their bid to escape detection by Yuudai’s army, but now that they’d finally arrived at their destination being a hanyou again would sure as hell come in handy right about now.

Kagome nodded absently and chewed her bottom lip, contemplating, before finally giving up with a sigh and gazing at her companion with a hopeless look. “How in the world are we going to get in?”

“Servant’s quarters,” Inuyasha replied without missing a beat and Kagome blinked. Why the hell hadn’t she thought of that?

“They’ll be around the back,” he continued, grabbing her hand and leading her down the slight incline. “I don’t see any of the human warriors, so either the bastard’s arrogant enough that he thinks he doesn’t need the extra protection, or he sent the entire fucking army out looking for us. Damn fool doesn’t even realize how easy he’s making this,” he muttered to himself as he slid the last few feet to the bottom. Kagome gave a squeak as she glided after him and he caught her with an arm around the waist.

“Or,” Kagome said after she regained her bearings and swatted Inuyasha on the chest for that stunt, “his ‘army’ is significantly smaller than we thought.”

Inuyasha paused to consider that and then snorted in amusement. “Either way it makes things simpler. There might be some wandering around inside, though, so stay quiet and alert.”

Kagome rolled her eyes. “Duh.”

Ignoring her and staying low, gesturing for her to do the same, Inuyasha had no trouble finding a weakened section of the tall wooden barrier that surrounded the fortress, which wasn’t all that surprising. In its state of disrepair the entire thing was pretty much useless at this point, but Inuyasha doubted Yuudai chose the place for its sturdy foundations anyway.

After walking the perimeter and staying tight to the outer wall, he found the servant’s entrance in short order, his footsteps light as he navigated the deserted halls, his grip on Kagome’s hand firm, and as they passed through the empty kitchen Inuyasha slowed down and gestured for Kagome to watch her step. Most likely in their haste to flee the massacre Bankotsu had started, the servants had literally dropped everything before turning tail and he made sure to step over the suspicious dark stains on the floor and being careful to not accidently kick some cookware across the floor, thereby making a racket. He honestly couldn’t be sure if the erratically shaped stains on the floor were food or something else, though it didn’t make sense if it was the former. Wouldn’t any food have perished by now? Dried up, eaten by scavengers and rodents? Inuyasha didn’t want to think about it so he didn’t and instead concentrated on making it to the doors across the room.

He was glad Kagome was being extra cautious as well, stepping where he stepped and carefully avoiding the various cookware scattered all over the floor. She nearly stumbled once as she was stepping over a large stain of...something but a sharp twinge in her thigh made her fall short. Inuyasha reacted quickly, whirling around and catching her before she tumbled to the ground and gave away their location.

He glared at her; Kagome blushed guiltily and gestured to her wounded thigh. Inuyasha huffed, gave a short nod before helping her over whatever was on the floor. It was a relief when they finally made it to the double doors that led out into the large dining area, and although they hadn’t had any run-ins with any warriors yet, Inuyasha still couldn’t rule out there not being any wandering the halls as a lazy sort of backup.

Kagome must have realized the same thing because she didn’t try to pass him and push through the doors, but instead crouched next to him and awaited further instruction, however he knew she must have been eager as he to save their friends. They were so damn close, but they couldn’t afford to be reckless or thoughtless. Inuyasha hadn’t survived this long without being careful, and despite not being the most level-headed or thorough when it came to strategizing, he found that his straight-forward, uncomplicated methods usually worked pretty well, if not even better than a detail oriented, thought out plan.

And since they didn’t have the time to sit around and brainstorm out a plan, Inuyasha figured there was no time like the present to fucking wing it and hope for the best.

“Alright,” Inuyasha murmured as he cautiously peered around the edge of the fragmented doorway, missing Kagome’s contemplative look. “My guess is they’ll be in some sort of hold or dungeon, or at the least a guarded room – he’s a cocky bastard, but I don’t think even he would leave prisoners unguarded – so our best bet is to check out the rooms closest to here first.”

“Aren’t dungeons supposed to be underground, or something?” Kagome peeked over his shoulder and attempted to gaze down the hallway.

Inuyasha absentmindedly pushed her back, away from potential threats. “Typically, yeah, but this is a smaller than average sized castle so an underground keep wouldn’t be practical.”

Kagome gaped. “This is a small castle?” she asked incredulously.

Inuyasha frowned at her. “Have you seen where Sesshomaru lives?”

Kagome bilked and promptly closed her mouth. “Um, right.”

Rolling his eyes, Inuyasha looked back out into the hallway; no patrolling soldiers as of yet so it looked like luck was on their side. “Looks like we’re clear,” he said and inched forward. “Stay behind me and let’s make this quick. The sooner we’re outta here the—”

“Inuyasha, wait.”

He whipped his head around to stare at her, brows snapping low over his eyes as he scowled. “Whaddaya mean wait? We don’t have the—Kagome—”

Kagome took his hand, halting his protests. “Please, just…hear me out, okay?”

Violet eyes regarded her silently for a moment, confusion mixed with irritation, before he sighed and rolled his hand at her in the universal “get on with it” gesture.

Biting down on her lip as she deliberated on what to say, how to best approach this, Kagome took one look at the impatience clearly etched onto Inuyasha’s expression and sighed in defeat. There was no easy way to say this, so might as well get it over with and endure the inevitable blowup.

Locking gazes with him, Kagome sucked in a breath and said, “I think…we should split up.”

Telling him that she was suddenly deeply in love with Jaken would have had a lesser effect.

Kagome watched with growing trepidation as Inuyasha’s eyes grew were impossibly large, the color drained from his face, and his mouth opened and closed as he tried to absorb the complete and utter bullshit she just spouted to him.

Then finally, “You want to WHAT?!”

Kagome flinched and frantically waved her hands at him, wide eyes flicking to the doorway. “Shhh!”

“Wench, are you out of your goddamn mind?! Fuck no, we ain’t splitting up! What the fuck are you—we’re in the middle of dangerous enemy territory and you want to separate us?!”

Desperately hoping Inuyasha’s outburst hadn’t attracted unwanted attention, Kagome lunged forward and clamped a hand over his mouth, her expression urgent. “Inuyasha, please—!”

Releasing what Kagome would have described as a growl had he been in his hanyou form, Inuyasha grabbed her wrist and yanked her hand down. “Dammit, wench, how could you—I’m not gonna—we’re not—No!” He glowered at her and Kagome recognized that particular expression: End. Of. Discussion.

This time, however, she didn’t give in, determined to get her point across. “Inuyasha, please, listen to me! I wouldn’t bring it up if I didn’t think it was important!” Her eyes begged him, pleaded to let her explain before he shut her out completely.

Inuyasha clamped his mouth shut and glared at her in stony silence.

Kagome winced, knowing he wasn’t happy with her, but taking his silence as acquiesce – however reluctant it was – she took his hand in both of hers again and began, “Think about it, Inuyasha. If we split up we’d be able to cover more ground and find the others quickly. You said it yourself, right? We don’t have a lot of time and this is the most logical way to utilize what little time we do have.”

He clenched his jaw and turned his head, avoiding her earnest gaze.

Desperate, she tried again. “Inuyasha, I’m not saying this because I want to be away from you,” she said softly and was rewarded with a miniscule softening of his features. She leaned closer and tipped him a small smile, “I trusted you whole-heartedly back in the forest and you’ve gotten us this far. Can’t you trust me on this? Please?”

Inuyasha grimaced and closed his eyes. Dammit, why’d she have to go and use the trust card on him? Ducking his head, he opened his eyes and stared down at their hands, his larger one cradled within her soft palms and his heart clenched in his chest. He did trust her. With his life, but…god, what if something happened?

Feeling like she was finally getting to him, Kagome scooter closer and squeezed his hand. “Plus,” she continued softly. “This way it’ll also give you the opportunity to look for Tetsusaiga.”

Inuyasha’s eyes snapped wide and he jerked his head up to gawp at her. Clearly he hadn’t thought of that.

She smiled again. “Even if it’s not here, one of us is bound to come across Sango and the others at some point. And after you’re hanyou again, it’ll be easy to track down those samurai and get back your sword back. After all, no human is a match for the great, strong, brave hanyou Inuyasha.”

Inuyasha snorted and leveled her with a look that told her plainly that he knew what she was trying to do and he didn’t buy her innocent smile for a second.  Shaking his head, Inuyasha grimaced and shifted his hand so he could thread his fingers through hers and hold on tightly. Dammit, what she said made a hell of a lot of sense and he’d be a fool if he didn’t seriously consider it. But still…

“Kagome…” His voice sounded tortured and Kagome knew this was a hard decision for him to simply accept, even if all the signs pointed to success.

Kagome gazed at him with gentle eyes, her smile a little sad. “I know,” she breathed, “But this isn’t about what we want, Inuyasha. It’s about what we need to do. And you know I’m right.”

Inuyasha gazed at her in silence a moment longer, his dark eyes troubled, but then he heaved a heavy sigh and Kagome knew she’d won. Without warning he pulled his hand from hers and yanked her into his arms, crushing her against his chest and she automatically returned his embrace, burying her face into his shoulder.

“I hate it when you do that,” he whispered in her ear and despite herself Kagome gave a soft laugh. “Fine, wench. We’ll split up, but you have to promise me you’ll be careful, alright? I mean it, you fucking run and start calling for me if there’s even the smallest chance of danger. I won’t be there to protect you and if you find them before me, you find somewhere to hide, quickly, until I find you guys. Understood?” He pulled back and grasped her shoulders tightly, his eyes intense as they bore into own. His jaw was clenched and his lips were a tight line, his fingers digging into her shoulders. His worry was evident, the terror that something would happen to her that he couldn’t prevent eating him inside and something warm blossomed in Kagome’s chest.

Stupidly she felt like crying as she raised her hands and circled his wrists with her fingers, not unlike hours ago when they first discovered their friends were being kept here. “I promise. You be careful too, okay?” She offered him a trembling smile. “I won’t be there to stop you from carrying out your stupid impulses.”

Inuyasha barked out a brief laugh and before he even knew what he was doing he leaned forward and brushed a soft kiss over her lips, once, twice, then pulled back not without a blush. He noted with some pleasure that Kagome’s was darker.  “Keh. Just…” He trailed off, looking like he wanted to dive in again for a much deeper taste, but then much to Kagome’s disappointment he made a face and released her before abruptly standing and stepping out into the hallway.

He cast her one last glance. “Don’t die, wench,” he rasped and then stomped down the hallway, not particularly caring if he attracted some poor sod’s attention. He could use a good fight right about now.

“You, too,” she whispered, wanting to launch herself after him and beg him to go with her, but knowing she couldn’t. Sighing, she forced her gaze away from his retreating figure and stood up, clutching the doorframe as she leaned around to gaze down the opposite end of the hallway and completely missing how Inuyasha hesitated at the end of the corridor.

She had just gathered up the courage to step out into the hallway when she suddenly heard a lurid curse from the other end and then footsteps stomping back toward her.

Startled Kagome turned her head to find Inuyasha determinedly striding back toward her, jaw set, eyes locking in hers and her mouth parted in wonder.

“Inuyasha? What—”

Before she could finish Inuyasha grabbed her shoulders, shoved her back inside the dark room and spun her around to pin her against the wall before grasping her chin in his hand and crushing her mouth under his.

Kagome reacted instantly, melting against him with a whimper, digging her hands into his hair and returning his kiss with a heated fervor that could only originate from a long suppressed desire for this sort of intimacy and the thought made Inuyasha groan as he dropped his arms to circle her waist and haul her tight up against him. He plied her mouth open with his tongue, needing to taste her with a savage urgency that roared through his veins, his hunger for her desperate, endless.

Kagome moaned and he swallowed the sound. Arching her back she pressed into him, tilting her head, gasping as he plundered her mouth, sending heat spiraling through her body and then suddenly his hands were cupping her ass and he was lifting her up against him, urging her legs around his hips and Kagome complied without a second thought.

Inuyasha broke away, his breathing labored as he growled against her lips, “I swear to fucking god, wench, if something happens to you—”

Hands cupping the back of his neck Kagome tugged him back, claiming his mouth in another torrid kiss that bespoke of her own fears and concerns, nipping his bottom lip, sucking gently, and then drawing the tip of her along across the sensitive flesh. Inuyasha groaned and took over, bracing her against the wall as one hand came up to tangle in her hair and angle her head so he could assault her mouth once again.

They stood there for an unknown amount of time, clinging to each other, kissing over and over, some desperate and hard, while others were slow, lazy and maddeningly hot. Eventually a warning bell went off in Inuyasha’s mind and with great reluctance he finally pulled back, his breathing rough as he rested his forehead against hers.

“You come back to me, dammit,” he rasped, violet eyes boring into hers intensely and promising swift retribution if she did not heed his demand. God, he didn’t know what he’d do if…

Kagome huffed a breath that might have been a laugh and tipped him a small smile. “Only if you promise to come back to me,” she breathed and feathered another kiss across his lips.

Inuyasha grunted. “Deal, wench.” Allowing her to slide down his body and trying to ignore how good it felt, he stood there for a moment, savoring the feel of her against him, her taste on his lips and unable to deny himself one last taste, he dipped his head and gave her one last lingering kiss.

Fuck, it was so hard to leave her.

Greedily Kagome reveled in his kiss, pressing her hands flat against his chest, not wanting to be apart from him either, and before she could convince him to stay with a deeper kiss Inuyasha abruptly broke away and left without a single backward glance.

Kagome sighed and leaned against the wall to catch her breath and regroup her brain cells that Inuyasha had scattered with his thorough and passionate kisses. Her lips were swollen and tingling, and for a brief moment she allowed herself to remember the feeling of him pressed so heatedly against her. Good lord, but if that wasn’t incentive to come back unscathed…

Fighting against the urge to giggle, Kagome shook her head, braced herself and finally stepped out into the hallway, her footsteps light as she wandered down the corridor and not daring to look in Inuyasha’s direction for fear of screwing the plan and charging after him.

Per her word, Kagome was extra cautious as she wandered the halls, peeking around corners, keeping her footsteps light – she’d ditched her shoes once she realized it was difficult to be stealthy with them on and figured she can just go back for them later – and ghosting across rooms, keeping an eye and ear out for anything that would lead her toward their friends. Her heart always pounded whenever she rounded a corner, uncertain what she would encounter as her flight or fight response kicked in. But then every time an empty corridor would greet her and nobody would burst through the door and she’d heave a sigh of relief before the whole damn thing started all over again a few minutes later.

It was nerve-wracking, for sure, but she would take chancing the unknown any day over encountering a patrolling samurai.

Kagome climbed up a short flight of stairs and tried not to think of what Inuyasha was doing or how he was faring, wondering if he’d managed to find Tetsusaiga or not. Every time she passed a window she was reminded of him, the sky getting steadily lighter until Kagome suspected dawn was very soon, perhaps in the next half hour or so.

Be safe, Inuyasha, she thought and distracted as she was with thoughts about her hanyou, Kagome rounded the corner without checking first...and stopped dead when her eyes landed on the solitary samurai standing before a set of double doors.

Unsurprisingly he noticed her presence immediately and shifted his stance, turning to face her as he lifted his weapon. It looked like some kind of spear.

“Hey, you!” he barked and Kagome reacted without thinking.

“Please!” Kagome cried and ran toward the guard, who lost his scowl at her plea and blinked at her in confusion. “Please help me! I’m being chased by a terrible youkai and—and I’m lost, I’ve been wandering this place for hours trying to find somebody to help me!” Kagome skidded to a stop in front of him and reached up curl her fingers over the top of his chest plate, peering up at him with wide eyes. “Please, you’re the first person—man I’ve come across and I’m so scared!” She said the last part on an exaggerated sob and as she willed her eyes to tear up, Kagome mentally thanked her mother for being adamant that she signed up for the drama club in school a few years ago.

Thrown for a loop, the guard gaped down at her and it was clear he definitely hadn’t been expecting this. But, he did lower his weapon and didn’t look suspicious at her fabricated story so that was certainly a plus. But then his demeanor completely changed, going from puzzled to tough-guy within the span of a few seconds and Kagome could have sworn he just puffed his chest out a little.

“A youkai, you say? Where is it?” Drawing himself up to his astounding height of what Kagome guessed to be 5’9 – Kagome had to suppress a laugh because Inuyasha had him beat by about five inches – the samurai adapted a fierce look of determination and Kagome inwardly smiled.

Hook, line, and sinker.

Sucker, she thought. Aloud and acting every bit the damsel she said, “I—I don’t know,” she stammered and took a step closer to him, tilting her head up and peering up at him from under thick sooty lashes. “But I know I have nothing to fear when there’s such a big, strong warrior like you to protect me. Right?” She moved her hands to his shoulders and smiled demurely up at him and when she saw him flick his gaze down to her cleavage, framed by the loose collar of Inuyasha’s kosode, Kagome mentally cheered.

He made no attempt to hide the fact that he was blatantly staring at her chest and Kagome was suddenly very glad Inuyasha was not here to witness this; she had no doubt that if he had been this man’s remains would be splattered across the wall right now, despite Inuyasha only being a human.

“Uh...that’s right,” he finally said and managed to drag his eyes back to her face. Then he grinned lasciviously, seemingly forgetting there was evidently a youkai running around somewhere that he should probably take care of. “Yeah, don’t you worry, sweet thing,” he drawled arrogantly and Kagome barely refrained from rolling her eyes. “I’ll protect you. Just stay with me and you won’t hafta be afraid no more.” He looked down at her chest again, his interest glaringly obvious.

Trying not to cringe, Kagome’s smile turned sultry as she slid her hands down his armored chest to the waistband of his trousers. “Oh,” she cooed. “My hero. How can I ever...repay you?” Suggestively pressing herself against him Kagome bit down on her lip and tried to come off as shyly seductive while inwardly she was fighting back her gag reflex.

He actually licked his lips as his eyes greedily stared at her breasts and his spear hit the floor with a clatter as he released it to bring is hands up, tugging at the knot that secured the garment in place. “Well I have a few ideas,” he said and chuckled a little darkly as he plucked at the knot with one hand while the other dragged down the collar and exposed her bra.

Kagome shuddered in revulsion and hoped he thought it was from excitement. He didn’t falter from his task so he probably did. Telling herself this was necessary, that Miroku, Sango, and Shippou were probably just beyond those doors, Kagome slyly loosened the obi securing his pants, trying very, very hard to ignore how...excited he was.

Ew, ew, ew, ew! Bracing herself, flexing her fingers and trying not to hurl everywhere, Kagome bit her lip and purred, “I’m very sorry about this.”

The samurai blinked and gazed at her with a puzzled frown. “What?”

The poor man’s only warning was an innocent smile before mind-numbing, excruciating pain had him releasing a shrill screech that reached an octave Kagome would category as “window-shattering.” His face went bleach white, tears leaked from his eyes and Kagome jerked her hand from his pants just as he went to cup himself. It seemed he was choking for breath as he fell to his knees, mouth opening and closing soundlessly and his eyes were unseeing as he stared at nothing before promptly falling over onto his side and convulsing in agony.

Kagome winced, and although she sincerely hoped she hadn’t just destroyed his ability to father children someday, her sympathies went no further than that. He assisted in kidnapping her friends, after all; as far as she was concerned he had it coming.

Disregarding the softly keening man on the floor, Kagome stepped around him and wasn’t surprised to find the doors locked, but it was a locking mechanism she’d never seen before. It sort of reminded her of a modern lock in that it looked like it required a key of some sort, but it didn’t look very sturdy. Actually it looked relatively easy to break however that didn’t exactly bring any measure comfort because it meant, since they hadn’t already, her friends were somehow incapable of breaking down the door themselves and it sent a cold feeling of dread coursing through her.

Acting fast and with zero hesitation Kagome scooped up the discarded weapon, aimed the pointed end toward the locking device, and releasing a harsh battle cry Kagome promptly thrust the spear into the weak metal with as much force as she was able.

The weak metal gave, breaking apart and scattering onto the floor but Kagome didn’t take the time to relish in her victory. Clutching the spear in her hand, she tore open the doors and dashed inside, wielding the weapon before her and instinctively falling into a battle stance she’d seen Inuyasha take many times. Her expression was fierce, determined, ready and willing to fight for her friends’ lives.

Part 2 

[chimcharstar]

ANSWER 1 THROUGH 65 HO

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

WPOOOOO LETS GO 

Y E E T

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

nnnnooooooo. its called holding onto my last marble.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1. sometimes i can freak myself out going to the bathroom at night but bro. i take walks at like 11pm or whenever the hell i please. and i LIKE IT.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

i would not care to meet dick face

4. What is your favorite word?

worm

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

well darn i dont really knowwww!!!!!!! the big jungle one from minecraft. but i love weeping willows of course.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didnt think

7. What shirt are you wearing?

my pyjama shirt from new vegas. las vegas. oh my god. not that i went there. my friend did. ive been wearing it for 3 days now. because its fine.

8. What do you label yourself as?

androgynouOOUUSSSSSSS i heard it described the most accurately for me as “in between blue and pink, purple is a blend while not being either of them.” yes this SPECIFICALLY. i could never be feminine while female presenting, but now that im usually read as masculine i go around seeming gay as fuck. and even though this sounds like heresy considering how i instinctively want to throat punch people who feminize me, i have comfortably considered myself a woman lately ONLYYYYYYYY BY being as butch as a butch can possibly butch. maybe without the cars. i would NEVER go by she/her NEVER NEVER NEVER. like there literally are butch women who go on T and use he/him pronouns. that brings me euphoria too and i find people reallllyyyyyy get mind-bent at this point. i really also get irritated at the idea that identifying with both lessens one or the other... thats why i like the purple thing so much. like im 100% of the thing. i was watching on queer eye, once, there was this part where all these women met up and one of them who was really masculine was saying how “a woman can look like this too” and i was like “i am probably crying for an important reason right now” and sometimes i feel attraction to women that is nOT of the ManTM just... i can do what i want. 

but my point is it’s like im only happy if i have a blend. theres even a particular quality of it i can put my finger on, like a rugged, handsome feel... and then a flamboyant, passionate feel... mix em all up... 

9. Bright room or dark room?

BRIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 

GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

transition juice, or fucking around with cs paint with some gentle existential dread

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this one, because my life is not hell, and i know a few basics about adulting now

12. Who told you they loved you last?

the sister. i said it for damage control because she had blown a fuse the other day. i was being very fake on purpose because i’m not being vulnerable with someone who will blow up. when she says it all i feel is pain. like cold paralyzing needles in my soul. i cant say i love you to her and mean it, even if i want to. honestly i wish people would say this to me. the most i love yous i remember are from family members putting band aids on the wreckage of our relationships, so i can feel a little twang of guilt and longing for what could have been and should have been. and feel like i should be doing something more. and feeling awkward because you both know they fucked up and it’s the elephant in the room. and i can feel their confusion and sickness causing them pain, feeling that pain for them. 

13. Your worst enemy?

hmmm. anyone who made me feel like less than i am. anyone 

14. What is your current desktop picture?

cherry blossoms and a city at night that i stole off the internet

15. Do you like someone?

like like crushes right? i fucking wish. i am so god damn sick of myself. i dont feel fuck or shit for anyone. its a fucking wasteland. yes im on T so i want to fuck anything that moves. and yet? can i please have some feelings? please may i have some feelings? not aesthetic appreciation. not moral, personality appreciation. or even just a deep respect and compassion. these are all fine things of course. but cant someone just drive me crazy? cant i have that extra spice of life? cant i just have a little bit of happy crazy? i will know a perfectly lovely person and ill WANT to have feelings for them. but i FUCKEN DONT. I DONT!!!! SHIT!!!!! WHAT IS THE MEANIGN?!?!??!??!?!1 i have fucking YET to meet anyone im more obsessed with than some really gay ocs. come on universe!!!! bring it!!! poor oscar. poor fucking oscar. whatever wavelength im vibing on man you are not on it. i wish you were on it. i wish you were on it oscar. you are hot you are hot with your bike oscar. and the rose quartz i gave you. the rose quartz you wanted. but i feel no authentic electric connection to you. i feel like all i just see is how your brain works with a coolheaded certainty. all i do is analyze what you are wearing so i can be as hot as you. maybe id like to draw you. and girls from work. you are so beautiful and amazing. i see you in bikinis on instagram. and im like oh beauty standards. look at you go, adhering to them. my heart rate goes right along at the same old pace. dont tell me this is principles. does someone have to smell bad? like edward cullen?? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST SEDUCE ME?!!!?? ID LOVE SOME EXTRA WILL TO LIVE! THEN MY STORIES WILL BE BETTER!!!! see this is the whole problem

16. The last song you listened to?

what am i to you by finn the human or actually that asgore fight song that i do not know the context of and dont want to until i play the game for myself

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

i would save this button for a karen.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

jk rowling. every time i see her face in a news article about why her bland new transphobia anvil book is pretty bland without addressing the raging transphobia in it and around it, i take a minute and contemplate shoving a pie in her face, and agonizing that i cannot do it from this distance.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

a... slave? is this a kink thing? im fucking laughing this is going to be so honest. probably a toxic person from my past i have unresolved sexual tension with, especially since i was in my abused kid shell and was a huge doormat so now im all vengeful with issues. since this is totally something i am open to considering right now i would like to browse this concept’s menu

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

yknow what? yknow what? i am just going to say all of me. i am feeling very body positive right now. i often feel isolated as fuck because of trans stuff and male body standards, but thats Also What Makes Me Special :) i like me, i like my face, i think i am very cool and unique, and i can walk fast.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

GOD DAMN IT THIS FUCKING QUESTION AGAIN

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

yes. but it’s a secret.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

deep sea creatures. idk. even if its small and not even ugly. i just lose my fucking mind. i jump out of my chair. i get the heebies and the jeebies.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

okay. chicken. cheese. something spicy so it wont be boring. a fuck ton of veggies so i can be healthy. and some olives, fuck olive haters.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

IM GOING TO GIVE IT TO MY LANDLORD <3

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

mexico city to see what all my friends are talking about.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

............................................................................

w    h       y

okay. i would go around tasting a bunch of fucking. really fancy old wines. listen i dont really drink okay. but with a very fancy old wine i can go around with a like, glass and look really sophisticated and tell gay things to gay people. hello boys. so id find one that strategically i would like the most for the rest of my life and choose it. and if its expensive i can sell it.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i would stick a bell in the middle of it and all of us have to go there at six o’clock and throw bread at each other and fuck.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

cunt. i dont really use it ever, but boy it can pack a punch! 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

that means my trees because theyre living things? good. my phone. i need it to function. everything else i have on the clouds and i can just write on a napkin if i really need.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

:( 

i wanna say nothing because the good and the bad made me who i am and all that. and they’re learning experiences and healthy stuff. but some of my sisters abuse that has destroyed my psyche, literally just ruined my life, it would make things easier if that hadnt happened.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

WHAT I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS LIFE STOP TELL ME HOW I GET THERE

Okay i’m moving to... greece and i’m going to study ancient greek everything and live right on the edge of the sea where the water’s lapping the doorsteps. and im gonna learn greek by immersion

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

i am not surprised whatsoever death is a cool entity.

probably someone who died really sadly and too soon in my life (no one close to me thank god) but just as a service to society

34. What was your last dream about?

wolves with bombs were chasing me around a giant university. it was all part of the game. i was trying to protect some people... soldiers were chasing me... i was hiding under the floor... hiding from authorities and war are VERY common dreams for me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Writer? Yes. am i saying that to sound full of myself? no. i am fighting very hard to maintain some self-confidence. i have done some writing recently and i am proud as fuck of myself. i caught myself thinking, “now that was banging, i know that was banging.” and so i just admitted it to myself.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

nooooot reeeaaaalllyyyyyy. i went in an ambulance for my face swelling up! still dont know if i needed to. still think i was allergic to the person i was talking to at the time. seriously when i stopped talking to them the hives went away. they literally gave me hives sdjfnskjndsjknfkjsfnjskdnfdsjknfjknf

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

they have inuyashas on them

39. What type of music do you like?

dark, longing, aching, angry, raw, disappointed, serious, low songs that get intense as fuck.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises for the concept, sunsets for the looks

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

you know what? i dont really like milkshakes. they dont feel good in my tummy even if it’s not my stomach having a fucking meltdown.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

the fuck is football

43. Do you have any scars?

yes, most of them are from dermatillomania, two big cool-looking ones on my hands from touching a cookie sheet without an oven mitt and pouring microwaved coffee all over my thumb because literally every inch of the counter had a foot of dishes on it and i didn’t simply heat up the water normally because everything was dirty

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

i want to be a psychologist and an author

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

id like a dong please

46. Are you reliable?

yeeeeeesssssss...... but the adhd wins sometimes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

future self: even if you’re in a worse off place than where i am right now, don’t regret anything, don’t beat yourself up. sometimes it’s realistic to have hope. you don’t have to be hard on yourself all the time just because it’s familiar and natural to you. so stop thinking “if i see a note from my past self ill be filled with rueful self awareness”

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes. i feel like im saving my soul a little and taking some power back when i am able to say “that hurt, that was wrong, and you don’t get access to me anymore, i don’t have to forgive you” it’s admitting that my own pain is real so i can listen to and protect myself. i wish i was more of a forgiving person but i spent too much time trying to forgive unorganically for the sake of being moral that i just can’t, can’t can’t now. it hurts so existentially and i deserve better. time for me to be mean and hold grudges. a little mean is okay.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a DOG  CAT????????

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

“doesn’t having a human-shaped robot with smoke coming out of it in the corner of your shop scare you late at night?”

“yes, sometimes i see it and jump a little”

51. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i’m dedicated. getting my birth certificate back? oscar worthy

52. How long could you go without talking?

i live like this lmao

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

once upon a time i had bangs. and a bob cut

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

yes bitch

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

yes bitch i can do a convincing british accent but i don’t want to broadcast that fact because being british is cringe and plus my name is gordon and im already trans and interested in cooking and my greatest fear is that people think i am trying to become him when i am deeply offended when people assume i make personal decisions for anyone other than myself. no one has ever actually voiced this theory to me but it haunts me late at night. i can honestly probably do any accent if i listen to it for a little bit. i find it very easy to imitate sounds and like individual speaking styles to the point of stealing them even when i dont want to. like actually this is something that just comes to me easily i think.

56. What do you like on your toast?

fuck toast. i make a grill cheese. cheese and garlic.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

i tried digitally painting a generic girl who ended up looking really simliar to someone i went to school with only i made the eyes way too small and i would show you except it’s too much work

58. What would be you dream car?

vw bug with giant monster wheels, black with flames, big booming stereo. eyelashes in a drag way. ill run pickup trucks off the road

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i sang in the shower back when i felt free to annoy everyone in the house. oH WAIT IT DOESNT ANNOY PEOPLE WHO ARE KIND TO ME

...........

they taught me i was annoying. ANYWAY. i am too shy to sing in the shower but id love to. i dont really do anything unusual except that i take really long in there but yknow im not actually doing what people think im doing when i take long. im literally just sitting there decomposing, head empty.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yes, of course, i have been telling everyone theres water under mars since day one and now look. now look

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

yes. im a sagittarius and clearly it is needed because CLEARLY theres no other fucking sagittariuses

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

G, because my name starts with that and i’m just great. really, i like... it has a chonk to it. like a reliable chonk to it

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

YKNOW WHAT? im going with dragons because of the fantasy, fire breathing and so on but yknow for my wip i was going to have both dragons and dinosaurs at a reptile like shelter

64. What do you think about babies?

i think they should be loved and nurtured, but they are too much work for me to want for myself at this point of life, and you should definitely read some manuals before having one if you can because people can and do mess this the fuck up

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

you didn’t ask anything here so im just going to tell you something. i am going to tell you that i have always been so hell bent on writing even when i hate it because sometimes when things are going well i feel like i am just so in another world and i feel like im doing something im really really supposed to do. it is such a euphoria and it has an effect on my whole aura. i really wish i had never made myself stop but we can’t change the past so i shall just have to never stop again.

THANKS HOOOOO

[forgetspecifics]

Such Sights are Bright - Prologue: Wake Up

Yang Xiao Long; born in Canada to a mother she never knew, has left her father’s homestead in Maine to experience life with her uncle.

Other links: Ao3 FF.net

Notes: My new story warranted a prologue to cover some of the plot and I thought I'd post it to see what y'all think. I'm seriously excited to begin this. I've had it planned for about 6 months, and I haven't even really started, but I think I'm already thinking of a sequel. Oops It's really important to note that this whole story was massively inspired by music, a specific album, to be exact. It means a lot to me. Listening to each song at the end of a chapter will hopefully help you understand the spirit of what I'm trying to do here. I implore you to not be a lil sneak and ruin anything for yourself by listening to any other song from the album, if you actually want to enjoy my story in the musical form. All credit given to the band that changed my life. Another important note is that each chapter will take place in a specific month of the year, which is noted at the top (with the season, since there's three chapters per season [excluding this chapter since it's just a prologue], idk it was important to me when I planned it and now I don't remember why. I think it was because I wanted to cover a whole year). ANYWAY, just go

August (Summer)

/

Amongst the chatter and slight chaos of the patrons of the airport, a small family bid their farewells as an announcement caught their ears.

‘This is the final boarding call for flight BGR213 to Columbus, final boarding call.’

“Oh, I’m gonna miss you, sis!”

“You’ll see me in a couple of months, Rubes. But, I’ll miss you more!”

“It’s more than a couple, Yang. Still, you better hurry or you’ll miss the plane!”

Yang nodded, agreeing with her father’s concern. Giving her little sister, Ruby, one last bear hug, she took in a shaky breath.

“I better scoot, then, eh? I love you guys,” she embraced her dad, the man trying to hide his sadness – and failing.

“Be safe, my sunny little dragon. I love you,” he sniffed.

“See you at Christmas!”

Taking in the sight of Taiyang and Ruby waving goodbye, looking like they missed her already, Yang hoisted her backpack over her shoulder entered the boarding gate for her flight, bound for Ohio.

Her new adventure awaited her, after all.

Drifting into a state of quiet fear, Yang let her feet and legs carry her through the gate and onto the plane, not fully processing the situation. She knew she was leaving everything she’d known for almost her whole life, but it was like it was yet to sink in. She sat in her seat – a window view – happy to have several hours to get used to everything.

Asking herself if she was truly happy with this decision, she knew that it seemed impulsive and foolhardy to her dad and sister. Even if they had planned this move sufficiently, it seemed sudden anyway. Why would a seventeen-year-old girl want to uproot herself to a different state just before her final year of high school? It was social suicide, especially since she was one of the most popular girls around.

It’s because Yang was sick of that little town and everybody in it (not Ruby though, and to a lesser extent, not her dad either). Nothing was a secret there. Judgement was grating on her nerves as she grew older and older and saw it more and more.

They all knew their family was a mess since Summer had died.

Taiyang had not taken the loss well – in fact, he took it very badly.

It was not the best situation for six-year-old Yang and four-year-old Ruby – so to say ever since she had died, it was to say that the last eleven years of their lives had been an uphill battle.

When their father had shut down, the townspeople had done their best to help them, but it wasn’t enough. They couldn’t be the mother they’d lost. The mother Ruby lost.

Yang did the only thing she could: become the best mother she could be. In turn, she sacrificed her childhood for Ruby’s – and she’d do it all again if she needed to. It wasn’t Ruby’s fault. As Ruby grew old enough for Yang to step out of that role, it was too late for her to regain all the time she had lost.

So, Yang made the most of the time she had.

She knew that her father had tried his best, but it wasn’t enough. He gradually improved over time, and by the time she was eleven, he took most of his fatherly duties much more seriously, giving her her chance.

To say that she was a bit of a problematic kid was an understatement – not that she was a brat or treated her father terribly, no. School became the best place for her to let out her frustrations and have fun. She never even tried to reach her potential, putting more effort into being ‘cool’ and having the times of her life.

The last couple of years especially, were a riot. Not even considering the future, Yang loved to party and loved to keep up an image. An image that rebelled against the picture of the poor girl the town thought she was – she wanted them to think she’d been unaffected.

It wasn’t their business, anyway.

The truth was, Yang had made a mess out of the life that lay ahead of her. She had only done the minimum to stay at a passing grade or to be able to do whatever sports her school had offered. It was easy to be athletic and not very book-smart.

The other truth was, after Summer had died, Taiyang told her she wasn’t actually her mother at all. That her mother was another woman named Raven, whom had a twin brother, that he and Summer had met and worked with in Canada before she was born.

Ever since that day, Yang had craved more knowledge about her true mother, something she investigated many times to little success. Her uncle began to visit them periodically, now that she knew about his existence. She knew that if her dad wouldn’t tell her about Raven, Qrow was the only other person she could ask.

Which had lead her to this decision to move in with him in another state. Yang felt trapped in her life in her small town, partly by her own choices, partly that in another year, she’d have finished high school and have nowhere to go. Deep down, she recognised that she was probably too late to have a revelation such as that, and it was just a little bit ironic that she was late in growing up when she had had no choice at age six to mature rapidly.

Maybe being this screwed up was Taiyang’s fault. He’d shirked all responsibility on her, falling into a pathetic hole of alcohol dependence and ignoring his depression. A little kid shouldn’t have had to slap her father awake from a bender just to ask him to help out – which never worked anyway.

She shouldn’t have had to find him sitting at the kitchen table staring at a knife late at night. Too often she’d been shooed away, hearing him say goodnight, and wondering if when she woke, he’d be gone.

As much as he’d apologised when he had realised – with her help – that he needed to get it together, she’d still lord it over him when she felt petty. When he’d chastised her for something stupid, or tried and butt in on her life, she’d told him that he wasn’t there for her before and didn’t get to decide when he was now. ‘Wake up,’ she’d said, ‘you don’t get to play the dad card now.’

Yang would admit she felt accomplished when she’d told him what she wanted to do and he had responded, ‘Yang, I’ve never been able to hold you back, but not by choice. It’s time for me to be a man, and choose to not hold you back any longer. Be the person I know you can be.”

Because at that moment, she knew they could both move on from their past.

Landing in a new place was kind of nerve wracking, she thought. But this was what she wanted. She had made it another step closer to knowing where she’d come from.

Looking amongst the strange faces of a strange place, she looked for a sign of her pickup. It had been awhile since she’d seen him and Yang hoped he was still the old, grumpy faced man she remembered.

She spied a familiar ringed hand tip a familiar flask up to a familiar scruffy face, and smirked. He was the old grumpy faced alcoholic she remembered.

As Yang eagerly sidestepped travellers to her uncle, he screwed the lid back on the container that was likely filled with something strong enough to make her cringe.

Tucking his contraband back into his jacket, Qrow Branwen welcome his niece with open arms. “Hey, firecracker. Look at you, all big and strong.”

His gravelly tenor was a sound she had missed. “You know me,” her shoulders shrugged off the praise, despite the pride she felt that he’d noticed. Taiyang had been helping her develop the capacity to pursue her athletic hobbies – anything physical, Yang was down for.

“Come on kid, it’s a bit of a drive,” Qrow gestured for her to follow. “Hope you’re not disappointed with a normal car ride.”

Yang snorted shamelessly. “I’ll deal. Did Bumblebee make it here safe?”

Turning towards baggage claim, her uncle nodded, “Yep.  You named that death-trap after an insect?”

“Excuse me, I’ll have you know that my bike,” she paused, considering that he may have been accurate describing the motorcycle as a death-trap, “…is named after the coolest insect on the face of the Earth.”

Qrow had made an effort and drove through the most interesting route in Canton, Yang noting the well-known Pro Football Hall of Fame as the city’s pride and joy. She guessed she’s a Browns fan now – not like Maine had their own football team.

It was daunting to know this was now her home for at least the next year. Backing out part way through would be stupid – she came here gain some of the freedom back.

…and to learn more about her birth mother – her estranged birth mother.

She knew she looked a lot like her father, blonde hair, tall, with an affinity for the colour yellow. Yet Taiyang had always said she looked like her mom, which she only had one, old and lousy picture of. Her golden hair did not match her mother’s black, so she always figured that he was just saying that. He had never understood or agreed with her craving to know more about his first wife, Raven Branwen – it seemed her uncle was on her side.

He obviously saw that at age 17, Yang was sick of being given the little-kid treatment.  Otherwise, she didn’t see herself being here, in the twin-siblings’ hometown, living with him.

“Qrow?”

The car turned into a new street. “Yeah, yeah, we’re almost there,” he muttered.

“Not that. Just…thanks.”

She saw him crack a hint of a smile. “No problem,” they pulled into the drive of a small two story house. “Welcome home.”

He wasted no time in approaching the door to unlock it, as Yang pulled her bags from the trunk – since she was fully capable.

Passing through the threshold held somewhat of a weight for her. This was the Branwen’s family home. Her mother had lived here, at some point, long ago. It surprised her to see that the room towards the rear end of the house housed a lone upright piano. The walnut was weathered, clearly showing its age, dust coating the flat surfaces.

As she inspected the instrument, Qrow curiously observed from the doorframe. “I didn’t think you could play,” he stated.

“I can’t. I like sports, remember?” she laughed. “Judging by the dust, you can’t either.”

Qrow shook his head in agreement. “Not my style either. Family heirloom, or some crap.”

Yang lifted the cover and placed her fingers on the spotless keys, accidentally pressing a sour note when she heard, “Raven could,” from behind her.

She suddenly found herself disliking it.

“I’m gonna unpack,” she quickly exited the room and any further conversation about that. Funny, how this was what she wanted to know about, but she didn’t know if she’d enjoy finding it all out that much.

A low hum followed her. “Upstairs, first room on your right. Don’t worry, it’s as empty and impersonal as they get.”

Thank fuck for that.

Notes: Song: 'Man' This is about the struggle I wrote of in the first section, that long and sad one? Yeah. You can probably figure it out. -

+1 for bumblebees being straight up cool

+1 for bumbleBY being not straight at all

I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks for reading.

[greaseonmymouth]

@annawrites​ tagged me!

Rules: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. wtf who has that many friends

i’m tagging...nobody, i just spent an hour filling this out and i don’t care. do it if you’d like

i deleted the questions that i didn’t know what were about so the numbering is all off eh who cares

1. coke or pepsi: i don’t like any kind of coca cola flavoured soft drink regardless of what it’s called

2. disney or dreamworks: i don’t think i could accurately identify a dreamworks movie without looking it up first. i don’t particularly care about who made what. i do like a lot of animated movies though (i’m forever crying about the fact that rise of the guardians isn’t on finnish netflix. no i do not know who made that movie.)

3. coffee or tea: hot chocolate

4. books or movies: books

5. windows or mac: windows, i don’t like macs much. my current laptop is a chromebook though. i have mixed feelings.

6. dc or marvel: both? i have read far more marvel comics than i have dc, and i do like (most of) the movies and the netflix series, but i also really like the flash, legends of tomorrow and supergirl (esp supergirl!), so...i’m not really fussed either way. 

7. x-box or playstation: i’ve never even seen an x-box with my own eyes. playstation i like! i wish i had one.

8. dragon age or mass effect: neither. i don’t play games. see: i don’t own a playstation.

9. night owl or early riser: neither? staying up late is pretty boring and i like sleeping. my sleeping patterns change depending on what my daily routine is. i have no problems getting up early if that’s what i have to do.

10. cards or chess: i don’t really care. 

11. chocolate or vanilla: chocolate, though i like both

12. vans or converse: i don’t know what vans are. i have a pair of red converse because i like the look, but my most favourite (and comfiest) pair of shoes are my blue adidas classic sneakers. (until this winter my winter boots were adidas as well.)

14. fluff or angst: FLUFF, always, forever

15. beach or forest: forests actually terrify me. beaches...well, depends. i don’t like sunny summer beaches much (esp if crowded with people), but i love the sea and seaside.

16. dogs or cats: both <3

17. clear skies or rain: i don’t like Weather much to begin with because dressing for the weather is a pain in the ass, regardless of if it’s 30+ degrees or -18. i like the indoors best 80% of the time.

18. cooking or eating out: eating out, or alternatively somebody else cooking for me. i just cannot be arsed with cooking. i love cooking for other people, but for myself it’s just so much effort. i love eating out because delicious food made for me to my specifications by somebody else? sign me the fuck up.

19. spicy food or mild food: both! although i have a spiciness limit. if the food is so spicy that i can’t taste the actual food then it becomes pointless. (i do have a relatively high tolerance so i have to say though, at that level, spicy food gives me pretty serious appetite and digestion problems that persist for 1-3 days so i’d rather not over do it on spiciness...) i’m also picky about how the spiciness is achieved - various peppers have their own flavours and aren’t just BURNy and i do Not like jalapenos. they taste vaguely vinegar-y and acidity to me. no thanks. 

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: er, halloween isn’t a thing here (aside from the commercialised version of it, which can die in a ditch). next weekend is fastelavn though, which i love. (i probably even love it more than christmas because my family usually gets together for buns, and it’s low-key and no-stress with zero expectations or anything, which is great. also buns.) i’m trying to figure out if i can be arsed making buns in the tiny shitty kitchenette here or if i just shouldn’t bother because i’d be eating them alone anyway

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: i am always a little too cold. by choice.

22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be:  i’d love to be able to teleport because fuck transport time and money, but honestly? i’d probably turn down any and all superpowers if i got the offer

23. animation or live action: both. though i’m pickier about animated movies than live action. 

25. baths or showers: showers! though i’d love to have access to a bath tub just because i really want to try one or two of the lush bath bombs. for the ~experience. (i generally don’t like baths, the water gets cold too fast and it’s boring just lying there.)

26. team cap or team ironman: i am tired of this discussion

27. fantasy or sci-fi: fantasy! i like sci-fi too, but fantasy is generally where it’s at for me

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: yeah i probably have a few, but i don’t make a habit of memorising them. but hey, i retweeted one from goodreads yesterday that went like this: “if there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” toni morrison.

29. youtube or netflix: well, these are two wildly different things for completely different purposes???? what even

netflix, because i actually use it more or less every day. youtube i only open every now and then to listen to music.

30. harry potter or percy jackson: harry potter. despite it’s problems and all the other shit that’s coming out, harry potter has been important to me in so many ways for so many years. whereas the pj books were just this random series i read one time and didn’t like much.

i actually actively hated the first two pj books. i vaguely started liking the series at the labyrinth book (book three? four? idk) but that has more to do with my thing for labyrinths than anything else (and iirc the labyrinth wasn’t even that well executed in the book? it’s been a while, i don’t remember. or care. but just. labyrinths as devices are fucking awesome.) i liked nico when he was introduced, who was like a little angry gay baby, or something, i wanted to protect him. (when i later found out that he is actually gay and i wasn’t just projecting, it made me happy), and if iirc i liked the last book of the first series. i haven’t read anything else, because i just...can’t be arsed. sorry. i mean, i do kind of want to know how my little gay son nico is doing, but do i want to sit through another five books or so of frankly mediocre writing to find out? no i don’t.

31. when you feel accomplished: when i finish writing a story. other times too, but mostly from writing. it’s just really satisfying declaring something finished. 

32. star wars or star trek: i don’t really care either way. 

33. paperback books or hardback books: paperbacks. they’re smaller, which means i can cram more of them into my apartment, and cheaper, which also means i can afford more of them. i can appreciate a pretty hardback, but i generally think they aren’t worth it. big, heavy, unwieldy and expensive. nah. i’ll take a paperback any day.

34. to live in a world without literature or without music?: i could live without music, but if you want to take literature away from me you might as well just kill me and get it over with.

35.  what’s one thing you hope to accomplish in life?: i don’t know??? i’m more or less a day to day person, and i’d very much like to get a stable, permanent job (and income) right now. that’d be grand. like yeah sure i’d also like to become a published author some day, or get a phd, or travel to certain places and learn more languages, but those are all??? so uncertain?? like i can’t actually spare the headspace to try to make all of them of happen. i just want a job please.

36. who was the last person to make you laugh? probably my students in class last week

36. which is better: sour or sweet candy? I don’t like candy

37. do you believe in aliens? yeah sure

38. dawn or dusk? both are great

39. piercings or tattoos? i don’t have any strong opinions. i have my ears pierced and i’ve been planning to have my lip repierced ever since i had to take the piercing out (cheesegrater effect) (six years ago?) but that never happened, and now i don’t care. i’d like to get tattoos someday but until i can settle on a design or placement i don’t think it’s going to happen.

40. physical book or kindle? both, except i don’t own a kindle and never will. i have an ipad. it does have the kindle app on it, for the rare occasions all i can get is a .mobi file, but i actually prefer to buy my ebooks off Kobo because they are not amazon (their reading app is also great! i like it so much better than the kindle app) or directly from the publisher (in which case i’ll open the .epub in the ibooks app already on the ipad). the ibooks app is p great as is as well, i can’t complain. i also have a bluefire reader for DRM protected ebooks (mostly relevant while i was still at uni and would download time sensitive and DRM protected academic articles and books from databases with restricted access) and an account with Bookmate (digital library).

paperbacks are easier on my eyes, especially in the evenings, but i have about 100 books on my ipad at the moment and i really, really appreciate that given that i currently don’t have space for that many physical books.

41. fantastic beasts or cursed child: are we talking fantastic beasts the book or the movie? because i don’t think i’ve read the book. i’m pretty sure i don’t even own a copy. i also haven’t read the screenplay for the movie. the movie was ok. i had a few big problems with aspects of it, but others were p cool. as for cursed child i haven’t read it and will likely never get the chance to see it either. 

42. rock or pop music: both? sort of ? i have a wide but picky taste in music, across several genres and subgenres of pop, rock and metal. but i wouldn’t say that i like a whole genre...because there’s so much i don’t like. <.<

43. big cities or small towns: both tbh. i come from a small town (less than 4k inhabitants) and i’ve lived most of my life in small towns and in the countryside. i like it, it’s quiet and there’s a different community feel that you don’t get in larger cities. but i’ve also lived in copenhagen for the past 7 years or so, and i’ve come to depend on a lot of big city conveniences. i’ve bought a flat in copenhagen as well, because lbr with my degree my job options are in the big cities, not in the countryside, so... 

44. girls? yes

45. volcanoes or black holes? volcanos

46: Favourite language (either to listen to, or that you can speak): that’s...not... i like (and dislike) languages for different reasons v.v 

i love finnish a lot because it’s a very systematic language (everything follows a rule, with very few exceptions), and because the logic of it is very spatial, if you can put it that way. the way finnish phrases a lot of things is by placing it in some kind of spatial context. it’s very logical to me, someone who’s very spatially and visually oriented in general, so it’s something that i just instantly understood and loved about the language (meanwhile my classmates were struggling because the finnish “way of thinking” is fundamentally so very different from the way scandinavian (and, i’d say, germanic) languages think.) and also i love it because i love grammar and finnish has so much of it, and so many exciting constructions and shit, it’s great.

47: sun or moon? both

48: perfume or cologne? perfume, though i only use men’s perfumes these days so i suppose technically they’re colognes??

49: favourite season? winter

+ my question:

50: what’s your favourite kind of landscape?