#though i don't know if i can in good conscience call this art

[apathetic-doodles]

Not pictured is Kirai running off to make her own dridersona. She doesn't know what a drider is but if Lactus has a cool sona then she needs a cooler one.

Bonus: Lactus' dridersona, who is a phase drider who has huge muscles and dual wields greataxes and he's Lolth's favorite most specialest little boy and he's got an eight pack and everyone is so so so scared of him and-

[voidedaurora]

I just found out that Mel did make an attempt to steal Frostbite and Bronze. It should be common sense not to use them since they didn’t create them. I genuinely hope they won’t steal your ocs or any of their other ex friends ocs. So Many of their other friends left the server recently so it feels weird not seeing them post their art :(

I know I reposted it but please check out Ferns post about Frostbite and Bronze being stolen! https://www.tumblr.com/asshole-on-the-internet/756750468716380160/quartelz-is-stealing-my-characters?source=share Also yea I've heard a lot of people are dropping her and leaving the server I'm honestly really glad the ones who've left have decided to in the first place, Mel's not a good person to be around and maybe this'll finally ignite some semblance of a conscience or be a sort of wake up call for her repeated mistreating of her friends, fans, and downright disgusting activities behind closed doors. I hope she gets better and goes to some sort of therapy one day I also understand what you mean by it feeling weird not seeing everyone post :( a lot of those people had been there for YEARS so it makes sense to be a bit offput, honestly just try your best to keep up with all their art externally and support them! Though I will say as a general statement that any one of the people who've left her or just anyone in general is welcome in my server/community :( obviously if you are participating n stuff only because u don't like mel then probably don't join n stuff! but if you want to chill and support me/interact with more people and artists then you're always welcome! (not gonna plug a inv here but if you look on tumblr or youtube stream desc's you can find invs!)

[ballingb-a-g-s]

My 7 favorite things I read/played/watched in 2023

Honorable mention: Destiny 2

This would have been a list of 7 but I can't in good faith say that D2 was excellent this year between the subpar lightfall campaign and all the shit bungies pulled this year this is the best I can give it in good conscience

7: somethings killing the children

An excellent non superhero comic it's world building is fascinating. It's first book is basically perfect it sets up and fully explores the characters that are exclusive to that part as well as setting up and beginning to show us the wider world. All while telling a mildly horrific action story that I could not predict. Book 2 set itself up well and continued to surprise me but hasn't finished yet so il hold off on any more but somethings killing the children 30 issue (at time of writing) run is absolutely worth checking out if your tired of or just don't care for superheroes

6: invincible

Shows good too but I'm impatient so I read the comic and they were for the most part phenomenal a perfect superhero story I actually think there was to much gore at some points were it affected the quality of the art and the story loses steam towards the end you can tell Kirkman is done with it by the time you reach the time skip but it's characters are fantastic special mention to omni-man and Oliver good emotional story

5: the walking dead comic

Twd is what happens when a talented writer takes what would become an overplayed genre and just gets it. Kirkman excellently uses the end of the world to help us understand his characters while taking us on a wild adventure and unlike the tv show it stays good all the way to the ending I would never have predicted. Even though it's longer than invincible by 30 issue it holds on to its momentum all the way through and is worth a read even if you don't like the show

4:BlacKkKlansman

The review is on my letterbox go read it. But for those of you who can't be bothered to do that il summaries for you. Best live action thing I saw last year funny when it wants to be bone chilling when is has to be that final scene into the montage has to be my favorite possibly of all time phenomenal stuff now go read my actual review

3: slay the princess

Games fascinating but I can't say to much just trust me it's worth it the best new game this year if you don't need constant action to be stimulated go in blind and have fun

2:immortal hulk

When I was first getting into comics at the start of the year I was worried about iconic old characters and their extensive history but I'd heard nothing but praise for immortal hulk so I caved and tried it and it's the best thing Marvel's put out this decade. Al Ewing is a god Damned genius. I don't know why he decided to make hulk scary but I'm thankful he did because this is as close to perfect as a comic run can get. It understands the medium and how to get the most out of its basically a perfect story and Al is very cool and made a trans woman one of the major secondary characters whos identity informs character decision but is written competently and doesn't feel like corporate pandering she's the best Ewing is my number one I will read anything he writes.

1.Summit of the God's

In my review I called this a weak 5 I'd like to retract that statement I love this movie it speaks to me in a way few others have it's stunning it may very well be my favorite looking movie ever. I stand by most everything I said in that review about it's athstetic but it's story needed time to cook. I lack motivation it most things I don't have that obsession I'm not jôji I don't know what I want I more understand Fukamachi and his desire to understand how someone cane be so obsessed how they understand what they want. Once I understood the story it moved up my list to the best thing I read/played/watched this year(I didn't want to be a hipster but the French poster is so much better also I will be petty and correct anyone who calls it an anime movie it's french)

[running2redemption]

Quiz Results: King Edition

Gee, Shace, how can you tell you have a new muse?

When I do a billion quizzes as them. Under the cut because I'm sure no one actually cares, but it brings me joy to record the results.

What color is your aura?

Ivory

lace, marble, china dishes, doves, paper, bones, vanilla shakes. your essence is ivory: you are a piece of history, sturdy and eternal. others believe you to be gentle; they don't see the pressure that is threatening to crack you. you seek control and organize your life into rows. you are the overseer. you are the porcelain. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of grey, noir, pearl, and ashen, who share the pressure you put on yourself. you are also drawn to the expressive rose and lilac, who will help you grow and learn that things will be okay even if they don't go right. however, you may struggle to get along with the indulgent personalities of sky and apricot who need too much stimulation and decadence.

What animal form would your daemon take?

Black Caiman

Your daemon would take the form of a black caiman! Those who have black caiman daemons are self-assured and patient people who put down deep roots and aren't easily perturbed. They have a protective heart beneath their tough exterior only their loved ones witness. Observant and prepared to take on anything, they have strong personalities that people love or hate.  You are a private and strong-willed individual who knows how to play to your strengths. Those with black caimans are quietly ambitious but know how to not bite off more than they can chew. They're incredibly confident in their area and know how to manipulate situations to their advantage.

Who's your Pokemon partner?

Cyndaquil

Well, would you look at that! It seems a Cyndaquil wants to be your partner! Cyndaquil, also called the Fire Mouse Pokémon, always stays hunched over to protect itself and will flare the flames on its back when threatened. Like most fire Pokémon, Cyndaquil are drawn to people who are enthusiastic and adventurous, though they are also known to be exceptionally devoted and withdrawn Pokémon. They make the perfect partner for trainers who are internal and impassioned and show their inner strength when it comes to the things they love being threatened. My friend, this marks the beginning of your and Cyndaquil's journey together. Welcome to the world of Pokémon!

What Kind of DND Character Would You Be?

Chaotic Good Half-Elf Wizard (6th Level)

Ability Scores: Strength- 15 Dexterity- 16 Constitution- 16 Intelligence- 17 Wisdom- 18 Charisma- 14

Alignment: Chaotic Good- A chaotic good character acts as his conscience directs him with little regard for what others expect of him. He makes his own way, but he's kind and benevolent. He believes in goodness and right but has little use for laws and regulations. He hates it when people try to intimidate others and tell them what to do. He follows his own moral compass, which, although good, may not agree with that of society. Chaotic good is the best alignment you can be because it combines a good heart with a free spirit. However, chaotic good can be a dangerous alignment when it disrupts the order of society and punishes those who do well for themselves.

Race: Half-Elves have the curiosity and ambition for their human parent and the refined senses and love of nature of their elven parent, although they are outsiders among both cultures. To humans, half-elves are paler, fairer and smoother-skinned than their human parents, but their actual skin tones and other details vary just as human features do. Half-elves tend to have green, elven eyes. They live to about 180.

Class: Wizards- Wizards are arcane spellcasters who depend on intensive study to create their magic. To wizards, magic is not a talent but a difficult, rewarding art. When they are prepared for battle, wizards can use their spells to devastating effect. When caught by surprise, they are vulnerable. The wizard's strength is her spells, everything else is secondary. She learns new spells as she experiments and grows in experience, and she can also learn them from other wizards. In addition, over time a wizard learns to manipulate her spells so they go farther, work better, or are improved in some other way. A wizard can call a familiar- a small, magical, animal companion that serves her. With a high Intelligence, wizards are capable of casting very high levels of spells.

[lukael]

it's venting time baby

tumblr still feels like the only place where I can actually properly vent, I don't wanna do it on my other platforms cause I feel like they're the more likely to get me commissions and I imagine hearing me say how much I fucking hate drawing isn't exactly good for business

and honestly I fucking hate that I can't actually say how I really feel in fear of not getting commissions, makes me feel like a FOOL but anyways

I do not enjoy drawing :)

I don't find it fun, I don't find it fulfilling, and I'm still fighting with myself over that fact, because I've been really happy since quitting my job 2 years ago, so it's easy to feel like it's because drawing makes me happier, but I really think it's just that I hate the idea of doing any other job EVEN MORE.

I don't think I'm good at it, I don't think I'm ever really gonna be great at it, and when Audrey asks me "why do you need to be great at it", I don't really know what to say. I don't have the answer. Trying to do something without being able to is just the most frustrating feeling in the fucking world, and it's something I'm putting myself through daily by pursuing art, like I'm just not good at it lol

so fucking tired of hearing people say "no you're totally good at it omg you're so talented!" like.... I APPRECIATE THAT, I really do, like yeah I can create moderately competent looking images on occasion, to some that's an impressive skill, or that's sufficient, cool. It's not good enough for me lol I would like to either: enjoy the process of drawing (I do not) or to create really great looking art (I do not)

bad enough that I hate it, but I also hate the process of having to constantly be looking for job opportunities with book companies, trying to advertise for commissions, never really getting enough to pay the bills for the month, like.... social medias are only getting more and more shit, so that's not helping, but even before that, I've never found any success online (probably cause the art sucks lol)

some days I'm debating just going to work at Subways or some shit, cause then at least I'd be making minimum wage lol which is a hella lot more than I'm making right now, but doing a student entry level job at 34 wouldn't be great for my morale I think lol plus I would hate that work too, so idk... call me lazy I guess, I just don't wanna work lol

Praying to the fuckin heavens every day that my channel can pick up in traffic so I can monetize it, cause even though I don't think I'm funny or interesting or entertaining in those videos, at least I have fun doing those. Getting to do this stuff full time would literally be a dream come true cause then I wouldn't be forced to fucking draw. I could actually like, maybe just draw for fun and somehow try to reconnect with what it is that led me to start drawing in the first place 30 something years ago

It sucks cause my parents are probably so proud of me when I say "hey guys I'm doing it I'm a freelance illustrator going on 2 years now!" I bet they tell their friends like wow look how my son is doing so well! not really knowing I've lost thousands of dollars of savings in those two years because I'm not making jack shit because I still price my commissions like I was 17 year old just starting in the damn art world

but I can't price comms any higher because A) I wouldn't get any and B) I can't in good conscience charge any higher for this garbage I'm making, I sure as fuck wouldn't pay that amount for the shit I draw. And that's with people not even knowing how much I hate it the whole time lol oh shit that's probably bad for business to say here too huhhhhhhhhh hey guys don't mind me my commissions are open, check my carrd for more info!!! :)

if anyone is unlucky enough to be reading this, probably thinking "luk if you hate drawing so much why not just do some other job" well see thats because I've painted myself into this fucking corner, and in my entire life have been so stubborn about drawing that I haven't amassed any other skill or interest, so there's no other job I could be doing, it just has to be this now, because I need to make money somehow so I can eat and pay rent, so might as well be with this thing I'm kinda sorta okay at even though it's fucking pulling teeth at this point

anyways

[scentedchildnacho]

Philosophy with santa Cruz.....i would call that the cop drama of east coast new York but Santa Cruz and san Francisco produces that as about the seeds of things and con...chince....or conscience.......or job for corporate China...when you want to be released from the compulsion to good perfection United states you have to ask China to bitch your activity around to fruitive activity

These always instead of italianism are much better for the solar white lights around....if its renewable the colonial factors aren't abusive and de stated its something people can get into but not some infectious disease imperative battering everyone in cells really

Anyway I was explaining southern landscape destruction with clear cutting is really sad to me.....uhm they could finish de construction projects and instead grass is a constant reason to sadam charge onto properties not the mowers to be on

Some of it is hells angels like it use to be very elite to understand military mechanics but now anything can stihl stuff?

Southern landscapes are very beautiful to me as an outsider

Because they aren't constantly cultivated or Amazonian and you have to discover it's abundance as dry and alternative

Their frietals though if people are from here it won't hurt so bad and they will normally deliberate action if one is migrant it's to batter rape and kill necessary change....

The talk over breakfast was about neck tattoos tantra and orgasms......i don't know if she is Mexican English or British ...the character is so simm she did look obeisant....

So she would do a lot of the domination about him wanting to do neck tattoos and tantra....i will only baby if threatened with really overt sexuality....i like fantasy island....not permanence....if permanence the blue economy will feel obligated to that invasiveness a very long time not permanence

There was all these people who told me they all practice ink I was like how is that possible and how are you alive that sounds like heroin....

Jewishness though is migrant it does not have relationship to people around them any more or the earth I don't recommend jewishness about alphas

If it's alpha I recommend southernism....only the strong can truly be forgiving

If it's feminine arts jewishness yes....not big man though

It is that my photography with London class told me I would eventually get a little fascinated by Hindus women and their strategies about violence against Christians and Muslims....and the gita to me has become superficial ungenuine or specialized....compared to the apocrypha

[whysojiminimnida]

hey i am glad the anons are back on, and i know it might sound selfish because you deserve peace time too, so sry but i am really glad they are back on... anyways , can you tell where to find the snippet of zeha checking haru's wound? is it part of the web novel or something, also 2nd ques. what is teh web novel and where to find it? if you know pls tell.... bc i thought wattpad is dead bc. well it kinda sucked to put it lightly... so i am surpised that they would collab? with that ....

It is on Wattpad in the Pay Coins To Read Ahead On Premium section. I KNOW. And I think we all agree that WHY WATTPAD ARE THEY NOT AWARE...

They are aware, anon. They KNOW. They have straight up told us they read fanfic and they can write it better and less smutty but still sexy and plus TIGERS and God-Jimin as canon and Big Kitty Koo also as canon and next thing you know someone is popping a knot and some very weird sexual chemistry is gonna Jikook at us I feel like it's only a matter of time.

I was one time gonna write a little fic and I went looking and HOLY CATS AND BEOM TIGERS. A03 gets pretty wild, ngl, I have limits okay. But Wattpad is... wow. It's, um... I think I already called it a cesspool today but given that Hybe is probably about to own it I may have to rethink that. Or still think it but ignore my conscience because content.

There are a few fanfiction writers who I read because they are excellent and certainly not at all because of any homoerotic smut ft. DaintyKoo x Much Bigger And More Dominating Than Expected Jimin or anything like that. Because that's sexualization and it's just gross right, none of us would ever, of course. And Koo NEVER cries because he's been waiting for YEARS to do That Thing Jimin Would Never Do during their Platonic Bandmates To Lovers story arc.

But I digress. ANYHOO YES. It is on Wattpad and I guess in order to read ahead you have to use coins. It is also on the Webtoon app which is what I am using currently and again, you can spend coins to get to Episode 2 early.

I guess it makes sense from a financial standpoint, honestly, and from a creative one. If BTS is gonna star in someone's sex fantasy then they ought to get a say in the narrative, I think. And by putting out their own content, whether it's paid or not, they are creatively controlling their images at least a little bit. Up to now the fanfic element has been left as fandom's dirty little not very secret. I suspect that all seven members have read some VERY interesting stuff.

See, hard stans pay the bills in any fandom but particularly in BTS. Because, and I say this very honestly, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SOFT BTS STAN. It is a mythical creation that some of us hide behind and feel good about because we don't like the idea of finding people so sexually attractive that we picture them doing fun things with no clothes on BECAUSE WHAT DOES THAT MAKE US THEN? But BTS knows. They KNOW we're all liars. They are human adult people who even as teenagers read fanfiction (and in Yoongi's case admits to writing super gay fanfic and I bet it was not soft in any way). These guys aren't stupid. And they know that even soft, non-explicit fiction can still be highly evocative and very provocative and they are playing us like two cellos and a violin and maybe a skin flute idek anymore.

We are getting exactly what we deserve. And more than that, I think we're gonna get a great story with good art and fun action and apparently some very entertaining dialogue. I'm here for it. Might even throw y'all a piece of my own work later today. (It'll be soft though. Some of us do sorta kinda exist).

[betweenthetimeandsound]

--prompt from @flashfictionfridayofficial

No good deed goes unpunished, he cursed, lighting up a cigar while staring back at the files right in front of him. Filled with photos of mutilated bodies and feathers and dung, the smoke only letting him rest for a moment before analyzing the damage these creatures brought about. I take the place of my brother in jail, but this is a crueler sentence.

Now he's probably taking a flight to Europe, simply because he can. And not just to study.

The words tangled themselves in his mouth, despite not needing to say them to anybody. Subversion is an art form, one which could bring more people to buy his houses, but another in which it could turn the country he remained in on its head. To do so would spill out the river water and lemons which flavored it, along with the miracles which barely held the country together.

Confess to playing these strings like a krar--with the grace to know where the melody went, yet the intensity to know how far it would take--and then he could keep to himself. The only thing he paid with is for semblances of freedom His debt to his conscience would float away, and he could focus back on the money he's earned.

However, with these "witches"--as some call them--emerged from the mountains and tormenting the civilians below, opportunities to grow shrunk until it was the side of a mustard seed. The people blamed their neighbors for the chaos; the war's fallout still planted in the ground like coffee. Reports of his niece reverting back to her childhood ways made his hands tremble; she talked about wanting to become a doctor to help others.

except nobody wants to be helped--and if they did, he pondered again, they would have lied.

Lying was an escape, but if Amanuel never did, then they would live in peace amongst their palm trees and pastel flowers. The demons and witches would remain beyond their walls, haunting those who defiled the nation in nightmares manifest. The man gritted his teeth, writing notes with his blue pen, ink imbuing amongst the rabid scars and face-down corpses.

Confession is good for the soul, and the only way to reunite with the divine, the man thought, his hands going through the cigar. But this is something I shouldn't have mentioned, not with all this tumult.

As his thoughts retreated to a place where his innocence shone, Aster stood in the doorway, blowing away the smoke with her right hand.

Author's note: A krar is an Ethiopian lyre, used in traditional music. This section is supposed to function as a prologue to a story where one man who kills demons is hired to hunt down a particular one to earn a bounty, only to get betrayed and lost in the magic system. I also want to connect to modern Ethiopian politics, though I don't know how.

[angellesword]

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (11)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It’s simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if…Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

“A future without you is a world without color.”

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, ANGST, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

SERIES:  CHAPTER 10 | CHAPTER 12

"You don't have to pay me, Guk."

 Jeongguk shook his head instantly. Yoongi was being absurd. How could he not pay his older friend?

 "I know you have the money, but I can't just take ten thousand dollars from you, hyung." The younger boy pouted his lips.

Yoongi should know by now that Jeongguk hated owing people something.

 Debt of gratitude sucked. It couldn't be paid. Ever. Jeongguk didn't want that. He hated sleeping at night thinking that someone out there could manipulate his feelings—this was how he perceived debt of gratitude: a manipulation. It was because he felt like he was bound please the person who helped him. It was as though he needed to act in accordance to the likes of said person.

 "Fine." Yoongi shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't care about any of this. "Pay me whenever you want,"

 Jeongguk snorted as your voice echoed inside his head. If you were here, you would tell Yoongi that he couldn't just tell his debtor to pay him whenever he wanted. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

 Civil obligations like this one was only enforceable for ten years. If Jeongguk couldn't pay within the said period, the obligation would then become a natural one—something that would only be paid out of conscience.

 Jeongguk shook his head. Why was he thinking about the stupid law? Why couldn't he stop imagining your pretty smile as you talked about certain provisions? Why was he hesitating to accept his hyung's money?

 And most importantly, why didn't he want to leave you now?

 Your soulmate loaned thousands of dollars from Yoongi just so he could pay the down payment for the apartment that he wanted buy. He promised himself that he would terminate the lease of contract with you after four months. He just couldn't live with you anymore.

 You were supposed to be temporary in his life; however, with the way you were invading his mind even though you weren't around, Jeongguk realized that you were his constant.

 You were the only person who could tolerate his bratty attitude. You were the only person who couldn't get mad at him. You were the only person who made him feel special and needy—Jeon Jeongguk needed your attention so much that he felt like had to run.

 He didn't know when it started, especially because he believed he was not over Red yet.

 Red.

 Was Red the reason why Jeongguk wanted to leave you?

 This was what you thought while clutching the paper on your chest.

 It hurt, but as usual you had to pretend like you were okay.

 "Your parents are back in their hotel," said by Jeongguk the moment he entered your apartment.

 He was back from the thirty-minute drive.

 Your parents were scheduled to fly to Jeju Island tomorrow morning.

 "That's good." You discreetly wiped your tears away, trying so hard to make your tone sound enthusiastic. 

 Your back was facing him since you were afraid to let him see you crying.

 You didn't want to pester Jeongguk regarding his plan to leave. You felt like he wouldn't appreciate the drama you would obviously bring.

  Jeongguk didn't deserve drama—not when it was clear that he was exhausted. He took care of you these past weeks. The only thing you could do was to give him a damn break even if it meant sleepless night as questions like 'why am I not enough?' clouded your mind.

 "Thanks, Jeongguk. Goodnight!" You hastily added, refusing to look at him as you made your way to your room.

 "Wait," he stopped you like the way he did earlier today. This time, however, he stopped you by breaking your heart even more.

 "C-Can I sleep in your room tonight?" Jeongguk swallowed the lump in his throat; his heart was beating so fast.

 You flinched.

 How dare he ask something so insensitive?

 "Why?" Your lips trembled as you finally found the courage to look at him. It was a wrong move, though. You couldn't do it. You couldn't look at him without tears filling your eyes.

 Looking at Jeon Jeongguk made you realize what you could never have: him.

 You were grateful he's averting your gaze. Jeongguk couldn't meet your eyes as well. He was embarrassed and afraid. What if you rejected him? He didn't have any reason to cuddle with you tonight. Jimin was right. Your parents were the solution to help you get back on your feet. It was as though they had some kind of power. You didn't look like you needed your soulmate to make you feel better anymore. 

 You were back to your old self.

 Sadly Jeongguk had no idea that you were just pretending. He didn't know that you were forced to be okay once again. He wasn't even aware that he was one of the reasons why you're acting like everything was fine.

 "I just want to make sure you're alright," his voice was barely audible.

 Jeon Jeongguk was a liar. The truth was you weren't the only one getting used to cuddling with each other. Jeongguk was also craving to embrace you—to listen to your controlled breathing and raging heartbeat.

 "Really?" You suddenly huffed, causing Jeongguk to flick his gaze at you.

 Your soulmate was a good liar, you were not.

 There's a point where pain was too much to handle.

 Jeongguk was staring at you with puzzled expression. His mouth went agape upon seeing the tears streaming down your face.

 "You want to make sure I'm okay so you can finally leave?"

 "What?" He furrowed his brow, clearly not understanding the words you just said. How could he focus on anything when all he could see was your tears?

 Jeongguk wanted to wipe your stupid tears, but you weren't letting him.

 You took three steps backwards when he tried to reach for your face.

 Anger, frustration, and pain. All of these are visible in your eyes. Your thoughts were poisoning your mind—making you imagine what you thought Jeongguk felt.

 "You...called my parents b'cause you're t-tired of me, right?" You slurred.

 You wanted to run to your room since you knew you couldn't stop speaking your thoughts anymore. This wasn't right. You told yourself you weren't going to make this hard for your soulmate, so why couldn't he do the same thing for you?

 Why was he cornering you? Why couldn't he just go away? 

 And why couldn't you stop the venom in your words?

 "You don't want to deal with me anymore. You want to leave but you're guilty. You feel like you are responsible for my pain," this must be it. You kept thinking what triggered his sudden change of behavior. It couldn't be because he finally realized that he liked you too.

 No. That couldn't be right. The only plausible explanation for this was because of the guilt he felt. He only started to act like he cared when you told him that he hurt you too.

 "That's not true..." But Jeongguk was quick to dismiss the negative thoughts inside your head.

 You inhaled deeply. Fresh tears stained your cheeks.

 "What's the truth, then?" You picked up the paper that would prove his intention to leave.

 It was too late to stop now. You were already acting pathetic in front of him. 

 "Why didn't you tell me you bought an apartment?" You continued to ask despite knowing the reason.

 You didn't. You were imagining things. What you think was different from what Jeongguk felt. Admittedly, his eyes widened. He wasn't expecting you to confront him about this. Hell. You weren't even supposed to find out this way.

 Jeongguk was planning to simply sign the contract to terminate your lease agreement with him, leave your apartment in the middle of the night and never come back.

 Guess he couldn't do it now, huh?

 "I-I," he trailed off instantly. How could he explain this to you when he himself didn't know why he wanted to leave?

 Jeongguk wished it was easy to face his emotions. He identified them, but he still didn't know what to do—not even after spending weeks cuddling with you.

 He needed to be alone, he needed to figure out what he felt and what this all meant to him on his own.

 "Is it me, Gukkie?" You sobbed and your soulmate's heart clenched.

 Your back was against the wall, Jeongguk was standing so close to you to the point that he could literally see the tears forming in your eyes.

 It broke him more.

 "Did I cross the line? Am I being too pushy? Annoying? Hard do deal with?"

 Jeongguk could only bite his bottom lip.

 You proceeded to list the things your former maids despised about you.

 "Is Miri too much too handle? Am I picky with the food? Is it hard to wake me up in the morning?"

 Jeongguk avoided your eyes, his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.

 You noticed that he couldn't speak. Why? Was it difficult to admit the truth?

 "Or am I not buying you enough things?"

 The conflicted boy shook his head vigorously. You did not understand anything.

 "Do you need a new laptop? New clothes? Art materials?" You sounded so desperate. "Tell me, Gukkie. I'll do anything you want."

 "I don't need you to do anything." He said coldly as he moved away from you.

 Pain attacked your chest when you saw indifference dancing in his face.

 "You're still leaving me?" You quivered in fear. You were really pathetic. You said to yourself that you wanted him to go away, but the thought of him actually leaving made your stomach turn upside down.

 "Yes."

 It felt like an arrow shot you in the heart.

 How could he not stutter? Was he really decided to leave you?

 Jeongguk saw how his answer affected you, so he immediately defended himself.

 "I mean it's about right. I told you I'm gonna stay here for a few months. It's over now. I don't want to be your tenant anymore."

 "But why!" You whined. This wasn't fair! How could he decide without consulting you first? This was a reciprocal obligation. You deserved to know his reasons.

 Jeongguk scowled. He wanted to leave now. It was getting unbearable to see you cry���it was as though his chest was going to explode.

 "Do I really need a reason?" His frown deepened. "Can't I just leave because I don't want to be with you anymore?" A lie.

 "You're lying." You refused to believe him even if you knew he was telling the truth. This wasn't you. You weren't like this. It was unlike of you to keep pushing Jeongguk. You teased him all the time, but you didn't mean to make him uncomfortable. His happiness was your top priority.

 You swore you just wanted to know the truth. You deserved a reasonable explanation. He couldn't just say he didn't want to be with you. If he couldn't love you, then he should at least be able to respect you like a normal person.

 "Why would I lie—"

 "Because I'm your soulmate!" You cut him off. Your emotions were overflowing.

 Why couldn't you just let him go?

 "And I love you, Jeongguk." You cried. The table had turned. Just a few breaths ago, he was the one begging to touch you. Right now, however, it was you who was desperately trying to latch on him.

 Jeongguk pushed your hand away. He couldn't have you touching him. It would only make it harder for him to leave.

 "I love you so please don't leave me—"

 "You don't." He cut you off, flinching so hard because of how much he hated your confession. He felt like he was gonna puke.

 "I do, Guk. I love you—"

 "No!" Jeongguk insisted otherwise. He was being stubborn and it was irritating you.

 Who did he think he was to tell you what you felt?

 "You don't love me, okay!? You are wrong in all of this!" He took a step back. He was acting as if your touch was going to burn him.

 "You are delusional. Too caught up with the idea of soulmate that you failed to see the truth!"

 Jeongguk was shaking in frustration. He hated that he had to be mean just to make you understand things—similar to what Red did.

 "I can see the truth! I know the truth!" You carried on.

 He was the one being blinded here, not you.

 "You're just ignoring the signs, Jeongguk. The universe wants us to be together!"

 This wasn't a coincidence. You couldn't be wrong—not when he could see colors because of the love you felt for him.

 But he used this against you.

 "I am not your soulmate." His jaw clenched. "Your eyes can tell."

 You stopped breathing.

 "Your eyes tell." He repeated.

 Your mouth felt dry.

 It felt like you had been stabbed straight in the heart.

 If he was your soulmate, if he ever loved you—or cared, you would see colors by now.

 But no.

 You still see in black and white.

 Your eyes would not lie because Jeon Jeongguk was right....

 Your Eyes Tell.

[zero-buds]

Ask and ye shall receive @fantasy-the-final-frontier

I have to confess though, never saw Agent of Shield until like a few hours ago. I do know (most) of their names and I'm aware of the canon (someone said it's not canon but I think MCU counts it. If they can count Daredevil, then they should count AoS. Pretty sure that's how it works.) and the over arching plots were for each season. Leverage on the other hand, I have way more knowledge about, but since we're only focusing on one character, I'll try to keep it brief. No guarantees.

Quick synopsis for both though:

Agent of SHIELD follows a group of super secret spy agents take on world ending threats that don't require superhumans to assist to ensure world peace.

Leverage follows a group of thieves take on corrupt businessmen and turn them into two buck chuck.

Both have found family tropes, socially awkward dads, and chaotic children.

That aside, I'm gonna do a basic run down of both Nate Ford and Phil Coulson, compare a little between the two, and then parallel their core philosophies and backgrounds. We'll see if they're really all that similar. My money is that they aren't. You can decide for yourself if they're at all similar.

Feedback is welcome, and if you want a different kind of meta for me to do, Please request! I love meta analysis and I get bored. Very bored.

So, to start, Agent of Shield is a show that starts a few months after the first Avengers movie in 2012. Phil Coulson had originally died a few months earlier during the first Avengers movie by the hands of none other than Loki, the God of Mischief/Frost Giant/Prince of Asgard. It is revealed during the first episode that he is alive and well thanks to Project Tahiti -or as Coulson calls it, "Tahiti - its a magical place" through the introduction of Wade. During his introduction, we know that he is a hero and admired by many, but very few in the public eye actually know who he is or are aware that he is, in fact, alive. Phil Coulson leads a "rag tag team" within SHIELD, aka Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division - a secret government agency, to take on missions monitoring people who could potentially end the world as they know it, and deal with the threat in any way SHIELD sees fit. Coulson is a strong believer in doing the right thing, even if it means making hard decisions, and believes in SHIELD's mission to protect the world from any and all dangers. He is passionate, quick witted, empathetic, kind and caring, and occasionally socially awkward. He's self aware of who he is, his strengths and weaknesses, and has an awareness about others that makes him a good and efficient leader to his team. Throughout the five seasons he's there (the seventh one is... iffy. I don't want to count it because at that point, his conscience is in a robot (LMD) and it feels... off, but you can count it if you want to), we see him stay true to himself, and to who he is as a person during the development of his character.

Nathan Ford on the other hand is introduced as a drunk bastard who used to work as an insurance investigator for IYS - mostly art thefts, and is hired to go steal back airplane designs from Pierson, a private corpration whose main competitor is Victor Dubenich. Dubenich is an unassuming, panicked businessman who approaches Nate with a job offer to lead a team of thieves to steal back the designs stolen from Dubenich's company. It's revealed that Nate is familiar with each thief introduced in the episode, but he is hesitant about the job. It isn't until he's offered a chance for vengeance against his old employer for his son's death that he accepts. He and his team are then double crossed by Dubenich and Nate forms a revenge plan, running a con on him. At the end of the episode, he reluctantly becomes the leader/mastermind to the band of thieves he's worked with after successfully pulling off 32.2 million dollars on their revenge heist. The show then ensues a modern day Robin Hood episodic plot for five seasons (erm six now with a seventh coming up later in the year). Nate Ford is characterized as a self-serving man who is, in essence, an asshole. He's not sociable, he's not charming or affectionate, and he's a cynic for all to see. He's clever and cunning, has a knack for psychological manipulation on anyone who crosses him, and is always ten steps ahead of everyone else. You can literally never win against him because he has the mental fortitude to never be wrong.

Tldr: Phil Coulson, soft nerdy boy. Nathan Ford, a raccoon from a landfill that just never got cleaned out.

Now that you get a picture of who these characters are, you're gonna be asking yourself "well, wait a minute, these are two completely opposite characterizations, they can't possibly be similar to each other." Au contrare mi amigos. It is precisely this opposition that makes them similar. (They're also both Catholic which is the funniest thing I found out through my search)

Nathan Ford will do whatever it takes to make sure corporations who screwed over the "little people" (a title coined by many of the rich), get what they deserve. Often times this means bankrupting them, humiliating them, and putting them in jail. Phil Coulson will do whatever it takes to do what is right and protect SHIELD's good name. Both characters actions are done with a conviction in believing that they are doing the right thing. (I know, I know, Nate Ford isn't about doing the Right Thing, but self satisfaction, but he does do it for the right reasons.) They are willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done, and are more than willing to put their lives on the line to accomplish it.

Another similarity I've found is that Nate and Phil started from places that didn't have them in leadership positions and there were specific reasons for it. If we take in the MCU movies into account for Phil's character, then we know that Phil was introduced as a grunt for SHIELD. Nathan was an insurance investigator, but he never actually picked the jobs. People told him what to do and he followed it to the ends of the earth. Phil was a grunt because he didn't show any sign of wanting anything more than to be a representative of SHIELD. Nate was a grunt because he never cared about becoming an executive and filling out the paperwork. He was all about the thrill of the chase and the challenge that came with it.

The way they get put into leadership positions are quite different, but they do their jobs very well. As the mastermind, Nate plans for everything, and tells his team what to do and where they have to go, even if it means pushing his team to the very edge of danger. While Phil does do a lot of planning and much of the direction, he's more of a take action kind of guy. He is always in the middle of a conflict, and he doesn't endanger his teammates unless he absolutely has to. Though there are moments where Phil can be seen being ruthless and cold, he isn't forcing his teams into situations that can have a plan B or that can be done by him instead of the others.

As leaders, both clearly have different methods, but in terms of responsibility, I think they both are very good at balancing out skill levels among their teammates. Nate can read people and knows what his team can and cannot do, but pushes them to try anyways. Due to this push, his team are capable of putting forth the effort that is required for their jobs to be done and learn a new skill in the process. (Hardison is the best example of this) On the other hand, Phil is empathetic to his team and understands what his team is capable of. They are highly trained professionals, but he understands that there are limits and ensures he, or backup, is always there to make sure the job is a success. I realize that Phil actually shoulders quite a lot throughout Agent of Shield, and sometimes it's hard for him to handle the responsibilities he's given in perfect balance.

Phil and Nate have similar grievances and identity crises in the middle of their arcs. While Phil grieves and laments on having missed a chance for a family and the loss of many of his friends and coworkers to HYDRA(HIVE?), Nate grieves the loss of his son. One grieves much healthier than the other one does. At least partly. Phil's sorrow isn't really touched upon and it's kind of brushed off, but it is important, and it is there. Nate's is the barebones of the show, and why he continues to be a criminal for five seasons.

Identity crises whew boy. That's a really long one. Phil was supposed to be dead like, several times. Apparently eight or so. He literally barely felt human anymore and I think it got to him. Like it really got to him that he just dies and comes back when he shouldn't. He's Phil Coulson, but also not. He loses his footing for the second half of the first season and regains it through the third season. Then loses it again by getting his revenge on Wade and kills him. This haunts and distresses him because he has never, ever done anything for the sake of revenge before and that is just something he has never experienced and it turns his whole world upside down. Look, he was SHIELD's star hero, okay? The golden boy, the heart and soul, and the successor to Director Fury. Yea, he's killed before, but he's never done it unnecessarily, and that's what gets to him. He killed for all the wrong reasons and it ruins his psyche for a good while and it eats at him, knowing that he can never go back to undo it all.

Nathan Ford has an identity crises for all of season two due to being unable to come to terms with himself of being very good at crime while also being very good at winning. He doesn't know how to stop and it is killing him. There is an immense pressure on his own psyche when it comes to being a thief and a criminal just like his dad and it pains him to know that he is exactly like him in almost every way that matters. When Sophie leaves it makes him worse because, well, he essentially becomes a monster after that. And whose to stop him? Right? He keeps winning, and nobody can outdo him, and no matter the dangers, he always comes out on top, right? Until he doesn't. And he falls down to earth the same way Icarus did when his waxed wings couldn't support him anymore.

Both of their identities are questioned, their philosophies thrown aside, and are reborn anew (Phil literally getting resurrected), by the end of their middle arcs.

Their guilt though. That's the one I have to like really touch upon. Because I think that as much good as they both do for the world (Debatable for Nate), and doing things that help others, they suffer from this deep knowledge that nothing they do is enough to fix the world they live in. While Phil is an optimistic kind of guy, he knows that despite everything he is capable of, he can't do it all, and it really makes him feel like he's letting people down because of that. He knows he has a team that can help him with that problem, but he still feels the guilt of the choices he could've made that he didn't to help others or the choices he made that didn't help others. Like with Wade or John Garrett (I butchered something here ssshh). When he knows he's going to die really soon, he tries his best not to make it everyone else's problem because he feels guilty for not being able to move forward with everyone else. But ultimately, him pushing them away isn't enough for them to leave him alone.

Nate feels so much guilt and weight of being the asshole to everyone and getting away with it that it impacts his psyche in season three to four still. He knows that he could be a cruel monster if he stepped over the edge just a little more and it is killing him. There is so much of his soul that is being eaten away when he does a grift or plans a con on another schmuck CEO that it suffocates him and he is unable to get out of it. The team do their best to try and alleviate it and cheer him up, but there's only so much they can do for him because they don't have the same feelings he does unlike the SHIELD team. Nate's team like what they do, so they can't really understand why Nate feels what he does, but they do their best and that's enough.

I think both of them as mentors to their teams are very similar. They give good advice when necessary, aside from social relationships, and don't hover too much when it comes to being a guide to the younger ones. Phil and Nate play the roles as Team Dad, and are often the ones most of the younger teammates aspire towards. Nate's affection isn't as apparent because he doesn't seem to be that kind of guy, but we know Phil is very much a caring Dad and makes Dad jokes to make people feel a little better.

As for fan reception, I'm not sure what that means, but I think Nathan Ford is received with begrudging enthusiasm while Phil Coulson is met with awe and adoration. Like, alright Nate, you can come into the house, but you're on really thin ice man whereas Coulson is met with acceptance and mutual respect.

Coulson is our hero that we all love and adore versus Nathan Ford the anti-hero whom we treat like the grumpy cat that he is.

Whose more badass? Coulson. Whose more cruel? Nate.

Personalities wise, I think that while both are socially awkward, and can be very clever and quick witted, they wouldn't really see eye to eye with each other. Coulson believes in the good in people and keeps trying to improve and be better than he was before whereas Nate... doesn't. He believes that people need to change the world so that the world can be better, but I don't think he really sees much good in people unless they show it in their actions. People follow Coulson because he's the unsung hero in the MCU, and a friendly, mild mannered man who just wants to make the world a better place. People follow Nate because it's not just his good judgement and clever plans that make the most fun for their jobs, they follow him because of his iron strength to keep trying to do good when all the world wants to do is be cruel and unkind.

P.S

Phil Coulson is aligned as Neutral Good.

Nathan Ford is aligned with Chaotic Neutral.

Fight me.

[ladyfeldspar]

Clyde 😎!

Why I like them - How much time do you have? How can I not? He's adorable, and even though okay yeah maybe he's a little dumb, (5x2=12) and maybe he gets too caught up in things (like in The List when he turns all douchey for a while, or the Raisins girls stuff), and maybe he's kinda a crybaby (to be fair though I would have cried if I ended up in Somalia and realized it wasn't what it was supposed to be too). But he's also got a conscience and a big heart (Lice Capades) and he clearly loves and supports his friends (Tweek x Craig when he goes to the art fair) and I literally could talk about this for 400 years. Clyde is just fabulous, okay?

Why I don’t - Blasphemy.

Favorite episode (scene if movie) - ... I... Lice Capades or The List? Or Fatbeard. Or Crack Baby Athletic Association. Or just honestly literally any one he's in.

Favorite season/movie - ^^^^ Although Lice Capades and The List are both from 11 so maybe 11 for giving me some more Clyde-centric-ish stuff.

Favorite line - Oh, God, I don't know if I have just one. "If it's just looks then I think I'm safe," is one I love because like, look at that confidence in himself. But if I can take one from the games, "I'm ready to suck ass and take names! ...Wait, that didn't come out right."

Favorite outfit - The High Elf of Faragon, or SoT Clyde, or Mosquito, shut up just give me all the Clydes.

OTP - Clenny, but I'm really into Cryde too. I just can't really justify breaking up Creek. Clyde and Kenny I just think would be so cute together.

Brotp - Cryde brotp for LIFE.

Head Canon - Clyde ends up getting a career in advertising and he can put all his terrible puns to good use and be fantastic at it.

Unpopular opinion - I don't like shipping him with Token because it seems more convenient than anything else, and I don't like shipping him with Bebe because she treated him terribly and I'm not over it.

A wish - I want Clyde to have some big storylines. Give me some Clyde focus! Some Cryde broship moments! Just something. Just more Clyde. See? I have simple desires.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen - If Clyde dies I riot.

5 words to best describe them - Adorably sensitive kindhearted loyal friend.

My nickname for them - ...Let's just say there's a reason Kenny calls him Clyderiffic in some of my fics.

[goldlightsaber]

No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men doesn't really need my praise, given that it won the Academy Award for Best Picture and Best Supporting Actor and several other awards. But I'm here to give it anyway! It is truly a work of art. Over a decade old and it has stood the test of time as a gripping thriller. Warning: this review is a bit all over the place, but I covered the bits I liked best!

The Big Bad

Javier Bardem. Where do I begin with him? I could watch this man clean up gunshot wounds in a cheap motel room for hours. It was so fascinating to see him work -- even if a lot of that work was brutal, cold-blooded, psychopathic murder. Watching him was like watching a true crime documentary. He felt real and chilled me to the core.

I commend the script for all its cleverness, but especially the intentionality behind Anton Chigurh's dialogue. I have never seen more unusual, rhythmic dialogue. What stuck in my head was his relentless way of asking questions. "Where does he work?" he asks the trailer park management lady. She tells him she can't tell him. Again, he asks, "Where does he work?" She tells him again, more firmly, that she can't reveal the information. In the same monotone, he asks for a third time, "Where does he work?" He puts on no charm. He does not bribe or threaten. He asks questions straight. He disguises himself as --but does not claim to be-- something he's not. He pretends to be a cop; a man stranded on the road; a hotel guess. People believe what he only appears to be. They make something of him, something recognizable, so that they know how to interact with him. Except slowly, through dialogue, he reveals to them his true, sadistic nature. And no one wants to believe it. Often the people he speaks with are dumbfounded, stammering out "Sir?" and "I don't understand." It doesn't dawn on them until its too late that he is someone they should run from. It's ironic, really. The goodwill and trust of other people is his bread and butter -- it's what allows him to extract information without force (at least at first) and to obtain all the resources he needs. There's a Southern hospitality theme that runs throughout. Many of the Texans he runs into offer him help -- little do they know that, with Anton Chigurh, it will likely cost them their lives. Everyone is a means to an end unless they are the end -- the person he means to kill.

Don't even get me started on his weapon of choice. It looks like he's carrying around an oxygen tank. It even gives him a misleading look of frailty -- like he might be using it to survive despite it not being attached to his person. If he was carrying around a gun, people might run in the other direction. But, seeing a captive bolt stunner, people are often just confused (I had to look up what it was called) -- and that's part of his genius too.

Yet he's tone deaf. He is easily irritated by small talk, seeming not to understand its point (award for most extreme introvert like, ever?). He nearly killed a gas station worker seemingly because of the small talk. A hint at his disturbed, unusual mind. As I mentioned earlier, he always cuts to the chase -- no fluff. He will get what he needs now, or else. Unless you're lucky and the coin toss flips in your favor. Or there are too many witnesses nearby. But rest assured -- there is no escaping this man. As Woody Harrelson's character, Wills, asks Llewelyn: "You've seen him, and you're not dead?"

Subverting Expectations

With a crime movie, you hope the good guy lives and the cops catch the killers, or that at least one of the two things happen. Nope! Not that simple with a Coen brothers film. Llewelyn is a law-breaking and a "street smart" guy but has a golden heart. He's empathetic (like when the "agua" man hung over his conscience) and only shoots people when he needs to -- Anton Chigurh is his foil, in that sense. Even though his resourcefulness and quick thinking gets him out of trouble for the majority of the film, he is suddenly killed by the Mexican cartel. We don't see it happen, we only see the drug dealers fleeing the scene and the aftermath. It comes minutes after a flirty motel patron tells Llewelyn that, whatever is coming, Llewelyn will never see it coming. And he doesn't. And neither does the audience, for that matter. With Llewelyn seemingly gearing up to fight Chigurh, I expected the two of them to have a showdown over the money. Llewelyn's death was sudden and abrupt. He didn't go out with guns blazing. He didn't get to showcase his strength. For all the times he has healed from injuries, Llewelyn--likable, honorable--still dies.

The sheriff retires -- he doesn't manage to track down Chigurh or anyone else for that matter. To him, Chigurh is a "ghost." The sheriff, at the end of the movie, describes himself as "ummatched," and that is underwhelming too. You fully expect -- or I did, based on previous crime thriller movies-- for some sort of justice to be served, for someone to be caught and locked away, but Chigurh is alive and free at the end of the movie and so are all the anonymous players of the drug cartels working these deals. There was no justice. Not for Llewelyn, not for his wife, not for all the collateral damage.

A Brilliant Script

Speaking of Llewelyn's wife! I loved her last show of defiance in the face of Chigurh. She was shocked but not surprised. Surely, his appearance scared her, but she knew death was coming for her -- and she didn't give Chigurh the liberty of making her death her responsibility. He was fully accountable -- and she made that clear. Was it a foolish choice? I don't know. It did leave me thinking for a while -- what would I do in the situation? The coin toss is the greatest mercy Chigurh is capable of bestowing on anyone. He is a Harvey Dent without a grudge. She chooses not to participate in the game and he kills her. I asked myself: were I in that situation, would I have chosen not to play? There were two options: she plays and has a 50% chance of living. She doesn't play, and she will, for certain, die. She chooses the latter. Is that bravery? I think so. It's certainly strength of character. She is principled in a wholly other way than Chigurh. I feel that I would have wanted to "call it" -- give myself a chance at living. But even that phrasing is misleading. No matter the "choice," Chigurh is the real judge, jury and executioner. And he chooses to kill. Always.

When he exits Carla Jean's house, I found myself wondering what had happened. In the first few seconds of the scene, it isn't yet clear whether he killed her. What follows is one of the more brilliant, subtle moments of the film: Chigurh checks the bottoms of his shoes. We know from an earlier scene that he takes care to keep them clean from the carnage of his crimes, and so, we also know he was checking to see if Carla Jean's blood had spilt on them. He murdered her.

The Ending

I have not yet uncovered the symbolic significance of the car crash, but I can try to take a guess. The car crash brutally injures Chigurh, breaking his arm and God knows what else. It is a random accident, not someone intentionally trying to kill him. Two boys who were riding their bikes behind him approaching Chigurh, who is sitting on the sidewalk, seriously injured. The boys offer him help only out of goodwill. But then he offers them money for one of their shirts, which they initially reject until he insists they take it. Is the symbolism in that? Of yet-uncorrupted youth starkly contrasted with his total evil? In offering them a large sum of money, is he corrupting them to think of life transactionally? As he walks away, the boys argue about splitting the money and he is no longer their concern -- greed is on their mind but only because he brought up money in the first place. (I feel like I cheated on this one because I read somewhere how the movie is about the rising forces of evil in the world that are hard to defeat -- hence the sheriff is unable to defeat them). Will this start them down the path of chasing money and power? Who knows. Maybe.

Overall: a movie I couldn't look away from except to run to the bathroom. I could watch hours of Javier Bardem in this role just sitting. Or eating. But preferably treating his own wounds.

Watch if: you're a fan of Ozark (TV show); or Fargo (movie or TV show).

[tog-resources-archive]

TOG Discord Servers: Updated!

Reposting my TOG Discord Rec List with some updated information and additions!

The Old Guard Server - moderated by @theoldguardevents

Femslash Guard Server - moderated by @thirst-teenth

and information about their server can be found here: https://theoldguardfemslashdiscord.tumblr.com/

Booker Enthusiasts Server - moderated by @ebbatriestowrite

Top!Joe Server- moderated by @karanoidandroid

So, after confirming with the mod, this server is open to anyone who enjoys top!joe and is a chill individual. Switchers ARE allowed. Interview is required to join the server.  

Book of Nile 18+ Server- moderated by @malaiikka

Find their tumblr post about it here!

Immortal Family Server - This server is 16+ and you can reach out to @pinesboi​ or @tovvel for more information! Find their post here. 

There’s another server called Disaster Immortals which I’ve heard is another good generic server, but I don’t know if the mods are on tumblr, unfortunately. If you join The Old Guard Server listed above- you can probably ask someone for an invite.

Additionally... there is another generic Old Guard Server that’s much older, but I can’t, in good conscience, send people to that server since they’re behind the bullying and art theft controversy here.

There are other options, though not all of the servers are open to the public! If anyone has any information to add, please feel free to include it!

There are definitely more out there than I know about so don't be afraid to ask around the fandom either!

[deedeehazard]

Cole McCoy

(AN OC FOR @kibadoglover45 story! All the characters I'll mention besides: Cole, Jackson and Valak belong to @kibadoglover45 as well as her story! THIS IS A LONG POST WITH LOTS OF GOOGLE IMAGES AS WELL and my grammar isn't good sorry if it confuses y'all!)

Cole as a teen was a very witty person just naturally witty, and also a tactful being. She's socially awkward and clumsy somehow always ending up with something on her like a scrape or bruise. Cole is very sheepish and described by others very sweet and the kindest person you'll ever meet. She moved out at age 16 with her older cousin Jackson Bray, who's 19, to out of state with his twin brother and eldest brother tagging along, but they don't live with him but in a different household. It was also a way to get Cole out of her toxic troublesome home and away from her toxic strict family. This is when she attends to the new high school, she meets the boys named: Creeps, Kevin, Vincent, Charlie, Brian, and a girl named Bernadette. She easily becomes friends with them when they interact with her first though, somehow she got in to Charlie's group no one nor Cole herself knows how but just glad she's now one of them. Soon she was already seeing Alester(idk how to spell it-) Conscience and the other creatures. She has her own infestation of a creature herself that she calls Auntie Valak, a demonic woman whatever she is that's been stuck with Cole since 7. Valak can possess Coles body and do and say whatever she wants from within her, causing her eyes to show through Cole demonic yellow cat eyes and black goop dripping from her eyes and mouth, her teeth becoming daggered sharp and shark like, her skin a little paler. Valak is a powerful entity, able to talk to others through the mind and change their mood swings. Cole starts to get a liking towards Charlie out of all people, she somehow does though and tolerates him mostly. She mainly hangs out with Kevin and Vincent, being similar to those two the most. She basically drops out in the middle of the year and hangs with Creeps while the others are still in school, and oh boy the things they do together-(if Creeps attends class or just skips school and didn't drop out I'm sorry Kiba TwT I heard and thought he dropped out-) While Jackson later meets Max, Vincents older brother- don't ask me how I'm still working on it lanskejs- and well Jackson finds Max his first friend after the move. He likes Max (not in that way-) But yea life is new and wonderful for Cole and her cousin(s) but still getting use to it.

-Cole's Teen reference sheet-

Name: Cole McCoy

Age: 16

Sexuality: Pansexual

Gender: Gender fluid

Pronouns: She/they/he

Height: 5'11 ft

Body type: Petite Pear not pear PETITE PEAR ty.

Weight: 155 LBS

Ethnicity: Scottish and German (White)

Skin color: White

Bust: D cup

Accent: Scottish

- Next ones include google images-

Her body shape

Her eye color: Amber

Her hair type and length: long Wavy thick hair

Her hair color: Dark brown

-Outfit-

Above knee length sunflower dress

Black sandals

-Cole as an adult-

When Cole enters adult hood she begins making resin art and selling it for a living while also playing the piano, her personality also changes being more chill and laid back but also more clumsy then as a teenager. She also becomes more comfortable with people and more extroverted, being a huge weirdo with crack head energy, and making people uncomfortable like creeps does. Plus having back bone and standing up for herself and others now, and less very less socially awkward. Auntie Valak is still there but either stays home or leaves her alone most of the time letting her live her life. She mainly doesn't hang with new people and keeps close with her ole gang. She also competes in car derby competitions because she loves to be ruthless and chaotic, she loves to be behind the wheel as well. Charlie and Cole haven't gotten together yet LOL she's not good with commitment.

-Cole's Adult reference sheet-

Age: 21-22

Height: 6 ft

Weight: 162 LBS

Bust: DD cup

-nothing to put here really lol-

-Outfit-

A lime green fitted T-shirt with ripped black overalls shorts

With fishnet stockings as well

Green striped ankle high converse sneakers

AOANSKSJD I hit 10 image limit I can only describe her outfit throughout now-

She wears a baggy black beanie as well and has quite a bit of piercings as well

She has a left eyebrow piercing, nose stud piercing on her right side nostril, and 2 black hoop earrings on her earlobes.

Creeps, Bernadette, Charlie, Max, Vincent, Brian, Kevin, Conscience, and Alaster all belong to @kibadoglover45 and as well as her story too! Please go check out her YouTube channel and other social media's as well as her Tumblr blog!

[sushigirlali]

If You Don't Love Me, Lie To My Face - Part I (Reylo Fanfic)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Epilogue 

Summary: Grifter!Rey helps U.S. Senator Leia Organa's son, Ben Solo, out of a jam when a couple of muggers invade her turf. Afterward, she debates robbing the rich American herself, but can she protect her heart while stealing his?

Pairing: Rey + Ben Solo | Finn + Poe Dameron

Rating: E

Continuity: Modern AU

A/N: For the first time ever, I’ve actually written most of the story before I started posting! I think it will be way less stressful since I don’t have to “keep up” with updates. New chapters will be posted each Friday. Enjoy!

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr

——————

If You Don't Love Me, Lie To My Face - Part I

By: sushigirlali

——————

Kennington, London

——————

There are moments in life that make you question everything that came before. A look from a stranger, an incident at your job, a terrible movie... things Rey Niima was usually able to push past without pause, but tonight, she was finding it extremely difficult to ignore the feeling that her life was about to change forever.

"Hey, give us your wallet!" A pair of brawlers had cornered a man at the mouth of a nearby alley, drawing Rey's attention as soon as she stepped out the back door of her favorite pub, The Black Prince.

"Excuse me?" the would-be victim responded indignantly. His voice was deep with an American lilt, his stature intimidating.

Did these fools really think they could steal from a man like that? But then, not all criminals were as intelligent as her.

"You heard me! I want your wallet!"

Rey hung back from the potentially violent situation unfolding before her, sizing up the assailants. Their outfits were all black, including the ski masks covering their faces, but she couldn't see any identifying marks or gang affiliations. "Must be lone wolves," she thought.

There was something familiar about the tall one doing the talking, but she couldn't place them. It probably didn't matter, though, because the redwood with the nice accent looked like he could take the both of them with one hand tied behind his broad back.

Still, for some reason, she was finding it hard to walk the other way. Definitely not because the man was the most striking person she had ever seen. No, it had to be due to the fact that these bums were causing a ruckus on her turf. At least, that's what she kept telling herself, frozen to the spot as she was.

"Listen, I just got done volunteering at a shelter all day and just want to get home. Please allow me to leave unmolested."

"Volunteering at a shelter?" she muttered under her breath. "Well, fuck. But it's not your business, don't get involved." Rey was turning around to go back inside the pub when the sound of a gun cocking drew her up short.

"Don't make me repeat myself again, pretty boy."

"Whoa, hey, there's no need for that!"

"Then empty your pockets! Now!"

"No," he said crossly. "Put that thing away before somebody gets hurt."

"Dammit," Rey groaned, retrieving the silver baton clipped to her belt. Sometimes, she really hated having a conscience; in her line of work, it was a real liability.

"Hey, get your hands off me!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake," she growled, resolutely stalking toward the turbulent scene. "Oi! You lot!"

The big guy and his sidekick paused to look in her direction. "What?" the leader said in a surprisingly feminine voice.

"Not a guy," Rey mused. "Based on your absolutely abominable bullying technique, I don't think you're getting that guy's wallet any time this century, so why don't you just leave him alone and move along."

"Excuse me?" the woman said threateningly.

"I'm sorry, did I stutter?"

"You move along, little mouse, this doesn't concern you!" the shorter guy spat.

"You do know who's neighborhood this is, don't you?" Rey said tauntingly.

"Yeah?" the first one said dismissively. "So what."

"So, knock it off! We don't need the fuzz coming down here because some hooligans are roughing up a foreigner."

"Hooligans?! And who the fuck are you?"

"Me?" Rey sneered, flicking the baton out to the side so that it extended into a long poll. "I'm no one."

"Phas," the skinny guy said nervously, obviously recognizing her at last, "we should go."

Rey had never been so proud of her reputation as a grifter who was just as likely to steal an expensive piece of art from the peerage in an elaborate heist as kick a thug's ass in the street.

"But the boss—"

"He'll understand."

"But—"

"Phas!"

"Fine. But don't think this is over!" the woman yelled before running off with her companion.

"Well," the American said slowly, "that was an experience I never wish to repeat again." He smiled at her. "Thank you," he said sincerely.

"You're welcome," Rey replied gruffly, still riding high on adrenaline. "Do you always walk around by yourself at night in a city not your own?"

"Do you always save unsuspecting passersby from thieves?" he retorted.

Her phone went off, but she didn't answer it. Up close, the man was even more attractive than she had initially thought. "Suit looks expensive, too… and is that a Breitling?" Perhaps it was her lucky night after all. "Only if they're handsome," she said smoothly.

"Oh, uh…" he flushed at her compliment.

"Hmm… not the reaction I expected." It was kind of refreshing, though. "Sorry, I—ugh, one sec," she said as her cell went off again. "My brother," she explained, checking the caller ID. "I have to take this or he'll just keep phoning until I pick up."

The man shrugged, "No problem, I'll just wait over here." He stepped up onto the curb and walked a few paces away.

Rey nodded and lifted the phone to her ear. "What?" she said shortly.

"Who's the stiff?" Finn asked without preamble.

"Nobody."

"Right," he huffed. "Are you working him?"

"Undecided, stop pushing."

"Whatever you say, Rey. Just be careful."

"I will. Where are you anyway?" she said, humored by his tough older sibling act.

"Hanging outside the pub, just around the corner. Why? You need me?" Finn teased.

"No, I'll catch you later. Don't wait up." She ended the conversation before he could respond and stuffed the phone into her back pocket. "Sorry about that, uh…?"

"Ben," the stranger supplied, moving closer again. "Ben Solo."

"I'm Rey," she said, holding out a hand.

Ben's lips quirked and he gave her a firm handshake, his huge hand dwarfing hers. Rey felt a shiver run up her spine at the brief contact, but she shook it off.

"So, what's that for?" he indicated the weapon still in her hand. "Joining the circus?"

"No," she grinned, "it's a bo staff. I use it for self defense."

"And the defense of others," he said warmly.

"On occasion." She folded the bo staff back into a baton before reattaching it to her belt.

"Can I get you a drink?" he nodded toward the pub. "To say thank you?"

"I was actually on my way home before I… bumped into you."

"I could… walk you home? If you want." He didn't sound desperate, but it was a near thing.

"I'm not from around here," she said evasively. She couldn't really bring him back to her base of operations, which was only a few blocks down the street, but she didn't want to stop talking to him either. "What a dilemma."

"No? Where are you from then?"

"Nowhere."

"Okay… Well, I promise I'm not a pervert or a serial killer or anything," he said earnestly, "so you can come back to my hotel with me if you want. It's late and I'd hate for anything to happen to you."

She crossed her arms. "Because I'm a woman?"

"Hey, I'm 6'3" and double your weight and I almost got jumped like ten minutes ago," he reminded her. "It can happen to anyone."

"Fair enough," she allowed, lowering her defenses. "Still…"

"I can call my security detail if you want verification that I'm not a psycho," he offered. "I'd just like the opportunity to get to know the woman who saved my hide."

Rey's interest sharpened. "That's sweet, but uh… security detail?"

"Yeah," he said nonchalantly. "My mother is a U.S. Senator. I'm in town on her behalf. She was supposed to come herself, but her re-election campaign is heating up and she couldn't spare the time."

"You disapprove," she said perceptively.

Ben's dark brows shot up. "Yeah, actually. You a mind reader, Rey from nowhere?"

"Something like that," she smirked. "I prefer the term grifter."

"Grifter?" he said curiously. "What does that mean, exactly?"

"Oh, you know," Rey winked for effect, assuming the privileged American was about to run in the opposite direction, "I swindle rich people out of their valuables by preying on their weaknesses. Basically, I'm a professional bad guy."

Ben looked hopelessly confused by her explanation. "But you just helped me."

"Well, sometimes I like to help out the little guy." Rey looked him over. "Little big guys too."

"Like Robin Hood?" he said, disarming her with a crooked smile.

"What? I wouldn't say I'm—I'm a hero or anything," she stuttered.

"Well, you're my hero," he said smoothly, holding out a hand. "That's my driver pulling up over there, in the black Jag. Join me? Please?"

"I… okay," she agreed, placing her hand in his, "but just for a little while." This time, she couldn't ignore the shiver.

——————

Alarm bells should be going off in her head, but Rey felt perfectly comfortable with her new companion. It was odd, considering her trust issues, but Ben didn't seem to be only interested in her looks. And she knew she looked good tonight, her dark leather leggings were basically painted on and her lacy bra was visible through a mostly sheer black tank top. Add on her subtle smoky makeup and half-up hair style that emphasized her cheek bones and...

"Rey?"

She loved the way he said her name, almost like a caress. "Yes?"

"Are you hungry? I haven't had dinner yet."

"Oh, sure," she said, never one to give up a free meal. Though she did kinda wish something else was on the menu… "What is wrong with you? You just met the man! Note to self: masturbate more."

"Chinese okay?"

Her mouth watered. "Perfect."

"What do you like?"

"Besides you?" she said without thinking. "Uh, I mean—anything, really. Noodles, if they have them."

Ben let her comment pass, but he was beaming. "I like noodles too. Maybe some kind of chicken? Orange?"

"Excellent," she seconded.

"You're easy," he said, but then caught himself, looking horrified. "I mean to order food for, not—"

"It's okay," she laughed, patting his thigh. "I know what you meant."

"Sorry, I haven't done this in a long time," he said sheepishly, catching her hand before she could remove it.

"This?"

"Gone on a date."

"Oh." Was this a date? Rey couldn't remember the last time she had been on one. Pretty much anytime she'd been alone with a man not her brother in the past ten years it was because she intended to rob them.

"Not that this has to be a date," he said quickly, releasing her hand. "Sorry, I keep saying stupid things."

Dammit, but he was cute. "You don't have to keep apologizing," she replied lightly. "Let's just have dinner and talk and see where that takes us." Maybe the night would lead to some fun extracurricular activities, maybe not, but at least she'd be able to case his place. Based on what she knew so far, the guy definitely came from old money. "Just keep reminding yourself that he's potentially a mark, not a boyfriend, Rey."

"Sure," he smiled, looking relieved. "Hey, Poe?" he said to the driver. "Can you pick up some food after dropping us at the hotel? We're starving."

——————

Ben fumbled a little opening the door, but quickly recovered and ushered Rey inside with a gallant sweep of his arm. The hotel was nice, but not extravagant, something she found odd for the son of a U.S. Senator. Then again, he had apparently been helping out at a shelter all day, so maybe he really was as down to earth as he seemed.

"The bathroom is through there if you need it," he pointed toward the bedroom.

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Okay, I'm just going to grab a quick shower. Poe should be back within the hour, so make yourself at home."

"Can I join you?" she was tempted to say. "Sure, I'll just watch the telly."

Ben nodded and left the room. A few seconds later, Rey heard the water start. Flipping on the TV, she left it on the cartoon channel before having a look around.

There weren't any expensive electronics or pieces of art in plain sight, so Rey could only assume that anything valuable would be in his room. "Oh, well, nothing gained, nothing lost. Better update Finn, though."

Yanking her cell out, Rey sent a quick text to her brother with Ben's name, the hotel's address, and a couple sentences about the modest state of his living room. He answered her almost immediately, sounding concerned.

Finn: Are you sure about this bloke? If you're not there to rob him, I assume that means you're interested in something else?

Rey: Yes? Maybe? I don't know. We just met, but…

Finn: At least text me later, okay? So I don't have to worry

Rey: I will. Love you 3

Finn: Love you too, peanut

Finn: ...check the room safe if you get a chance. Those types of hotels always have them and you never know what might be inside ;)

Rolling her eyes, but knowing he was right, Rey listened for a moment. It sounded like Ben was still in the shower, so she took the opportunity to pop into the bedroom and search his closet. A standard issue hotel safe was at the back, surrounded by some very nice black suits.

It wouldn't have been hard to crack the safe if she had her gear, but her heart wouldn't have been in it even if she did. She didn't want to rob Ben Solo, which was a first. Still, she did appreciate a challenge...

"Did you need something?"

Rey whipped around to see her host in nothing but a low slung white towel. "No, I—uh…"

"Would you like something to change into?" he inquired kindly.

Unable to respond with his magnificent chest and long thighs on display, Rey just shook her head in the negative. His brow creased and she felt like a kid who had been caught snooping for Christmas presents. "Shit, shit, shit, I've totally blown it!" Backtracking to the living room, she wasn't surprised when he followed. "What should I do? Oh, god, I don't want him to think…"

"Rey, what you said earlier… about being a… what did you call it? A grifter? Are you—mmph!" he started, unable to complete his thought as Rey impulsively reached up to kiss him.

But instead of pushing her away and demanding an answer, Ben threaded his fingers through her hair and dragged her closer. Taking his response as permission, Rey wrapped her arms around his waist, gripping his bare back as the kiss went on and on.

Somehow, they ended up next to the couch. Rey pushed Ben into a sitting position and climbed onto his lap, rubbing her clothed core against the tent in his towel. "Rey," he whispered, lips trailing down to her neck, "Rey, I want you."

"Yes," she responded as he reached for her waistband. Coming up on her knees, she growled when he yanked her leggings and underwear down her hips with one forceful tug. Things were getting out of control, going too far too fast, but she didn't care; she wanted him too. "Help me," she demanded, legs trapped by the constricting garments.

"I've got you," he huffed, reaching behind her to unzip her black combat boots and pull her pants the rest of the way off.

Meanwhile, Rey tore her top and bralette over her head before going to work on the towel barely covering his lap. "Wow!" she blew out a breath, zeroing in on his ardent erection when it was uncovered. He was big, maybe bigger than anyone she'd ever been with. Would he fit?

"Fuck," Ben sighed, sitting back to stare at her body, "you're beautiful, Rey."

Feeling weirdly shy about the sincerity in his sinful voice, Rey kissed him again in lieu of a response, reaching between them to spread herself for entry.

"Wait," he said, gasping for air, "what about protection?"

"Implant," she mumbled, rubbing her slit against the tip of his penis. "I'm clean, are you?"

"Yeah, I haven't—oh, god—uh, done it in a while."

"Good." She felt strangely possessive of him, this man she had just met. It pleased her that he didn't sleep around. "Fuck me, then. Raw."

Ben slammed his mouth down on hers again, positioning his dick with one hand and gripping her left buttock with the other. But he didn't ram himself home, instead he teased her hole, sliding only a fraction of the way in before retreating. He did it over and over, mimicking the action with his tongue until she was incoherent with desire, squirming, imploring him to fill her…

And then he was, and she found that he fit very well inside her indeed. His thick cock seemed to be made for her, hitting all the right spots and ones she hadn't even known existed until now. "Ben!" she cried, furiously pumping her hips in time with his thrusts. "This is—you're—"

"I feel it too!" he returned, palming her breast and teasing her erect nipple. "From the first moment I saw you, I—"

She licked his mouth, begging for entrance, not wanting to hear his sweet words even as they made her heart soar. He opened for her, but was obviously frustrated that she had cut off his declaration. Before she knew it, the hand squeezing her ass drew back and lightly smacked against her butt-cheek.

"Oh!" Rey jolted at the slight sting, but it wasn't in pain. On the contrary, she requested, "Again! Ben, do that again, please! I'm—"

Knock, knock.

"Oh, shit, Poe's at the—"

"Don't you fucking dare, Ben Solo," she growled, bouncing up and down on him with renewed vigor. But the driver started knocking harder, likely because of the guttural sounds erupting from Ben's throat. "Come on, man, can't you tell we're busy?!"

"But—shit!" Ben hauled her against him, no longer playing, just looking for relief before his friend broke the door down.

Rey found his soft grunts and swears endearing, so she took pity on him and increased her pace even further. "Come for me, Ben," she instructed, grinding down on him with all her might. "Come now and then we can eat. Or you can eat me, whichever you prefer."

The dirty talk seemed to work, because in the next minute, Ben was biting down on her shoulder, shaking with the force of his orgasm. Not far behind, Rey led his hand to her swollen nub, needing just a hair more stimulation to tip over the edge. Almost instantly, his trembling touch sent her into climax. Still vaguely aware of what's-his-name banging on the hotel room door, she pressed her mouth to Ben's pectoral to muffle her cries and came for what felt like ages…

"That—was—amazing," Ben panted, hugging her so tightly she thought she might pop. "The—best—I've—ever—had!"

"Me—too," she couldn't help but admit.

Loosening his hold, Ben cupped her cheeks and kissed her softly. "Thank you."

"Ah—you're welcome," she said, smiling like an idiot. Before she could lean in again, Poe resumed making his presence known.

"Ben? Are you okay? Answer me! Did that woman kill you? Your mother will be so pissed if you're dead." He hit the door again. "Either answer me in the next ten seconds or I'm going to get security!"

"I'm fine, great, alive, whatever!" Ben called back loudly. "And annoyed," he said to Rey. "Go into the bedroom for a minute while I get rid of him."

"Okay," she agreed, gingerly getting up. They both groaned when he slipped out of her, which Rey found gratifying. "Can I use the shower now?"

"Sure, there are towels under the sink. My sleep shirts are in the top drawer of the dresser," he offered.

"He wants me to spend the night?" she mused, feeling giddy and terrified all at once. "Alright," she said aloud, picking up her clothes and disappearing into the bedroom she'd been casing earlier, "call out if you need backup."

"Will do," he chuckled, "will do."

——————

Ten minutes later, Rey emerged from the bathroom feeling fresh and back in control. Picking a long sleeve shirt out of Ben's dresser at random, she pulled it over her naked body before toweling off her wet hair. The black cotton was as soft as it was big, but Rey didn't mind; it smelled like Ben.

Catching her reflection in the floor length mirror by the closet, she was amused to see that the garment fell to her knees like a sack, giving her already slender body exactly zero shape. "Oh, well, it's not like I plan on wearing it lon—"

A disturbance in the living room suddenly diverted her reverie. Sneaking to the door, she carefully cracked it and peaked out.

"You can't just keep her here!" Poe nearly shouted at Ben.

"Keep your fucking voice down," he snarled back. "You're not my boss or my mother and you can't tell me what to do. I'm a grown ass man!"

"Maybe so, but you're acting like a teenager! You can't just sleep with some chick you picked up off the side of the road when Leia is counting on you to—"

"I told you," Ben said through gritted teeth, "she saved my ass and I wanted to get to know her. I didn't hire her for the fucking night!"

"Could have fooled me," Poe scoffed. "For all you know, she could have been in on the attack and—"

"Get out!" Ben ordered, clearly at his wit's end. "I'll call you when you're needed again, if you are."

"Are you firing me?!"

"Not yet," Ben said grimly, marching to the door and flinging it open. "Just go before I forget that you're my best friend and say something I regret."

"Fine," Poe said, storming out of the apartment. "Let me know when you come to your senses!"

Ben slammed the door shut, then turned around and leaned on it. Scurrying back into the bathroom before he caught her eavesdropping, she started combing her hair, attempting to look natural in case he came in after her. When he didn't, she tried not to feel disappointed.

Leaving her damp hair hanging loose around her shoulders, Rey found him sitting at the dining table in his towel with several brown paper bags in front of him. He looked lost in thought and she hoped he hadn't taken Poe's opinion about her motives to heart. "Wotcher, Ben?" she asked hesitantly.

"Hmm?" he said, looking up at her. "Sorry, I was just...uh…" The arrested look on his face made her toes curl. "Wow, you look amazing."

"This old thing?" she joked, sidling up next to him. "I borrowed it from a mate."

"He has good taste," he said, opening his arms.

"I certainly think so," she said coyly, moving to sit sideways on his lap. Rey curled one arm around his neck and placed the other one on his chest. "Are you still hungry?"

"For food?" he choked, holding her so that she wouldn't slide off.

"Food," she nodded, leaning her forehead against his, "and other things."

One of Ben's large hands inserted itself between her thighs. "These kinds of things?" he murmured. "I think we can—fuck!" he bit his lip as he discovered that she wasn't wearing anything underneath his shirt.

"We can certainly fuck," she teased, "but—oh!" Rey gasped as he stood with her in his strong arms. "Ben? What are you…?"

Before she could get the words out, he'd pushed their dinner out of the way and laid her down on the table. Placing the backs of her knees in the crook of each arm, Ben pulled her forward until her butt was on the edge of the table and her pussy was level with his mouth.

"Having dinner," he said in the most ridiculously sexy tone of voice she'd ever heard, flipping his nightshirt up so that she was bare from the waist down.

"Oh, god!" she whimpered as he lowered his head. "Ben, you don't really have to—ah!" Gripping the back of his head as he started to lick her folds, Rey shuddered every time his long nose bumped against her clit.

"Enjoying yourself?" he said a little arrogantly. "Is this why you came home with me? Cause you wanted me to make you feel good?"

Considering how very well he was treating her, and the uncertainty on his face, she decided to play along. "Yes, Ben, I wanted you the second I saw you!"

He smiled slightly, then resumed tasting her. "So, does that mean you want to come?"

"That would be lovely," she sighed, enjoying the pressure of his wide mouth.

His mouth quirked at that. "Never heard sex described that way before."

"Then you're doing it with the wrong people."

"Oh?" his gaze turned hot. "And how many people have you been doing it with?"

"Not many," she said hurriedly, "and not in a long time."

"Good girl," he said silkily. "So, if I were to put my fingers inside you, would your cunt feel… full?"

"Yes!" she panted, so wet she was dripping onto the table now.

"Let's see then."

Arching her back as he slid two fingers inside her body, Rey realized that she had never really known sexual satisfaction until tonight. She was twenty-five and still basically knew nothing about sex and relationships. "Huh."

Ben stopped moving, lifting his dark head to look at her. "Rey? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," she said dreamily. "I guess I've just never felt this way before."

He held her eyes for an extended moment, amber striking against hazel. "Yeah, me too." And then he was fingering her again, sucking and teasing her slick opening until she was crying out his name in ecstasy.

Afterward, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them. Needless to say, they skipped dinner that night.

——————

Rey grunted as she felt Ben leave the bed the next morning. He had been her heater since the sheets and pillows were strewn about the room. "Come back," she said hoarsely, throat worn from use. "I'm cold."

"Just a moment," he laughed, opening the bedroom door to fetch something from the living room. "Your cell has been going off for an hour straight."

"My cell?" she yawned. Then, "Oh, no." She sat bolt upright. "Wait! Don't—"

"Rey?" Ben called in disbelief. "Who the fuck is Finn?"

——————

A/N: I love Kingsman and always think about Rey being a punk with a heart of gold like Eggsy. I didn't include the spy angle, but I was able to visit The Black Prince, where scenes were filled for the movie, a couple years ago and have fond memories. Anyway, reviews are appreciated! <3 

[bopinion]

Book of the month / 2020 / 11 November / Movie Edition

I love books. Even though I hardly read any. Because my library is more like a collection of tomes, coffee-table books, limited editions... in short: books in which not "only" the content counts, but also the editorial performance, the presentation, the curating of the topic - the book as a total work of art itself.

Billy Wilder's "Some like it hot"

Alison Castle, Dan Auiler

Movie documentary / 2001 / Taschen publishing house

Samuel Wilder was born in Austria-Hungary in 1906. Via Krakow, Vienna, Berlin and Paris, he finally emigrated to the USA in 1934, where he became immortal as Billy Wilder. The director, screenwriter and producer succeeded in writing film history in both drama and comedy. His work includes films such as "Woman without Conscience", "Twilight Boulevard" and "Witness for the Prosecution", but also "The Apartment", "One, Two, Three" and "The Girl Irma la Douce". Wilder's movies were style-forming work, his oeuvre of timeless relevance. He was nominated for an Academy Award 21 times, 6 times he took the Oscar home with him.

In 1959 a sensation came into the cinemas. Marilyn Monroe proved that she really can act - and sing. Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon skillfully took the mickey out of themselves - and set the travesty standard for eternity. And Wilder didn't need color to create dazzling colorfulness - and created the funniest movie ever (according to the American Film Institute). "Some like it hot" was a pop cultural phenomenon. And his favorite movie because "it contains the fewest mistakes".

One could almost call Wilder the expert for the iconic in film. Marylin Monroe, for example, would certainly not be considered the sex symbol of the 20th century without the scene from "The seven Year Itch" in which a subway shaft blows up her white dress. "Some like it hot" also boasts numerous cinematographic references: "Friends of the Italian Opera" became a winking synonym for the Italian-American mafia, the surreptitious advertising for Shell with the iconic shell was not yet subject to commercial declaration, the puns with the film title are countless, and Monroe's song "I wanna be loved by you" became an evergreen. And only the abundance of quotations from this film: "Water polo? Isn't that terribly dangerous?", "Don't fight it!", "I used to sell kisses for the milk fund", "Mice?!", "If my mother could only see me now.", "It's not how long you wait, it's who you're waiting for!" and of course the unforgettable final phrase "Nobody's perfect!".

Mainly "Some like it hot" is a wonderfully amusing film. During the Prohibition and Roaring Twenties, two musicians (Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon) from Chicago escaped from the Mafia by dressing up as women and travelling to Florida with a ladies orchestra (with Marylin Monroe). There, between the different roles, various misunderstandable love affairs occur. But the film is ingenious above all because of the comedy of the acting. Thus Jack Lemmon celebrated his final breakthrough as a comedic actor with depth with his roles of Jerry and Daphne. And also the supporting roles are brilliantly cast, especially Joe E. Brown as Osgood Fielding III is great. As I write this, I can't stop grinning. It's about time I show this masterpiece to the kids. I'm sure the Digital Natives will enjoy this humor too :-)

Of course there must be book material for such an epochal film. Without doubt, the standard work on "Some like it hot" comes, as so often, from Taschen. And it was a premiere for the publisher and me: Taschen's first film monograph. My first book from Taschen. My first book that didn't fit into a plastic bag (yes, back then there were still plastic bags - we didn't know any better). And this book literally has it all.

In collaboration with Wilder himself (at the last minute, so to speak, he died shortly afterwards), a scientific catalog raisonné was created: Interviews with Billy Wilder, Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon, among others. Excerpts from the first draft of the screenplay. Photo documentation of the shooting (in color!). Original advertising material and countless accompanying objects. Annotated and illustrated Billy Wilder filmography. Above all, of course, the complete screenplay with stills of every scene. Reading is incredibly fun, head cinema at its best. My (even bigger) original edition in yellow velour still contains - the current one unfortunately no longer, but therefore with a DVD - a facsimile of the script by Marylin Monroe including her handwritten notes as well as a bookmark with "Portrait" by Billy Wilder.

"Bibliophilic eight-pounder" (Der Spiegel), "A Book as Declaration of Love" (Film Dienst), "A Wilder gift you couldn't find for film fans" (USA Today) etc. My summary is simply "A feast of humor for the eyes and the mind". So: first watch the movie and in the days after with a good cup of tea browse through this beautiful book and never stop smiling. Enjoy!

P.S.: The inscription on Billy Wilder's gravestone in Los Angeles reads "I'm a writer. But then nobody's perfect."

And here the trailer for "Some like it hot":

https://youtu.be/rI_lUHOCcbc