#though i do love the watered down diet coke at McDonald's

[girl-hobbit]

why is McDonald's not on here? that's like the most American™ restaurant option possible...

[unbalancedconfessions]

Today has been a challenging day.

A day of eating and purging and trying my hardest to hide it from my friend, who also couldn’t stop going on and on about how fat she looked or felt, the entire day. I asked her several times to please just not bring up those concerns around me, as I already have those voices raging on inside of my own head. She knows I’m prone to unhealthy ways of judging mysef and as a consequence thereof, not always eat. She doesn’t know I purged the McDonald’s meal that she payed for today and she doesn’t know how much I struggled to pretend that I was okay afterwards. She couldn’t see me behind all of my “I’m doing great and I hold the power over food, not vice versa” but truthfully, food rules my every thought, emotion and my daily structure, from the moment I wake up, ‘til the moment I fall asleep, and often chase me into my dreams as well. I am crippled by it, overpowered by it, and I have no way out. I’m a facade queen, and no one ever notices how much I die inside from this obsession, day in and day out.

I used to be overweight. These two photos above are of me at my highest weight of 71kgs and me at my current weight of 52kgs. All those kgs I shed by torturing my body and mind, by counting calories, starving myself and by throwing up everything “forbidden” I put in my mouth. It’s been a year since i began step by step to hate myself more and more, since I learned to read labels on my food and religiously drink Diet Coke, since I bought a scale and began to obsess over every ounce of fat visible. And of course it started slow, started as just a diet to get me into shape before the new school year. But I loved seeing the numbers drop, loved the praise I was getting and the clothes I could now wear confidently. It was a new me I were designing, a me who had to look put together, presentable and acceptably thin, who had to know all the answers in class and be everyone’s friend. I wanted to build up a sense of worth that could finally get me the life I had been fighting for. At times I was starving, then I’d let it fade for a few weeks and eat “normally” and then panic when I gained 2-3kgs back, sending me into restriction again. It circled like that and come October/November I had begun to sink into a depressive state. I ignored it, forced myself to soldier on and be the happy, loud and joyful me that everyone knew. I refused to accept that I was a sinking ship and no one noticed a damn thing, until January when everything fell apart. I had a big history assignment to do that month, but no matter how hard I tried, I could never manage to write a single word. And I hated myself for it. I watched my peers curse over the assignment, but still get it done, whilst I was sitting motionless and unable to do the simplest things life required of me. My brain was complete static noise and my emotions where in haywire. I cried non stop, and I never really knew why. I was gasping for breath but never finding any air, and because of that, starving became my anchor. After all, I was a useless, incompetent and stupid student, I was a distant and calorie obsessed friend, I was a failing big sister who couldn’t keep her brother above water because she herself were sinking, i forgot to pet or feed my cat, I had to sit down in the shower because standing was impossible, I hadn’t done any dishes in weeks, and i wasted away in bed. But I could starve. Oh boy could I focus on calories, food types and my decreasing weight. It gave me purpose, made me feel like I was at least capable of this one thing. I used it to cope with the immense shame, blame, guilt and deep failure in me. Come March I was consuming 250 calories a day, I had dropped out of school and been hospitalised for my depression. Suddenly it wasn’t a diet, suddenly this “innocent” idea of perfecting me, had collided with a major depressive episode and I was free falling into an eating disorder. I spent 2 months in a psychiatric unit where I first began to binge and purge, instead of starve. I learned to make myself vomit, learned that kneeling didn’t work, I had to bend over the toilet and look straight into the wall before my gag reflex worked. I was never treated for the eating issues, just the depression, the self harm and the overdose I took whilst on a home visit. I was discharged in May, on 120mg of duloxetin, maximum dosage allowed. Because no matter how much they upped it, I was still drowning in myself and my self hate, the suicidal thoughts and the sense of hopelessnes. I wasn’t depressed anymore, but the eating disorder was consuming me more and more. The high dosage ended up sending me into mania, I was in and out of the emergency psych ward, I was high on breathing but extremely irritable, I was laughing whilst restrained to the bed by a belt, I was ruining hospital property and stripped naked in there multiple times, just because I felt untouchable and unstoppable. This led to me being diagnosed as bipolar, which I’m now, in July, only just beginning to be treated for. My eating disorder goes undiagnosed even though all the doctors are aware, and I am still drowning.

[elevenhoursinfront-blog]

4th April 2017

Why is it so difficult to sleep with a sore throat? I was so tired and restless, I couldn't get off to sleep. I was on the top bunk so any movement made, the bottom shakes. I reckon Steve could've been travel sick with the amount I was tossing and turning last night. He woke me up around 1000. I felt a bit down and it was most likely because I was shattered. I'm bored of not having a routine, too. I'm not sure how the unemployed are happy staying unemployed. How are they not bored? I need to feel like I have a purpose. Time to start looking for jobs seriously... tomorrow. We went and had some toast for breakfast. There's a really old man staying in the hostel at the moment. He must be 70+ years old. I want to know why he's staying in a hostel - imagine he was on the top bunk! I keep seeing him in the kitchen making cups of tea. We got back to the room and I spent the next 20 minutes crying. I hadn't cried in a while and my tank was probably full. I'm a very emotional person - I cry at TV adverts. If I don't empty my tear tank, I cry for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I was missing home though. I was able to talk to my mum for a bit as she was on nights so that was nice. I had a to do list which wasn't important but as I don't have a purpose, it was getting done. 1) get clean bedsheets and change them round. 2) find a plastic box to put my bar of soap in. 3) find Steve a jacket as he only has tshirts with him. Number one was a full body workout. We had to take ours off and go down to level 3 to reception so we could swap them over. I'm not sure what Australians call a duvet but it definitely wasn't duvet. I was very confused. We took them upstairs and decided not to change them over yet. Far too much effort. We'll do it later. We got showered and ready to leave for the discount chemist. We walked to the shop and managed to pick up a few extra bits. I found my soap box and it came with a toothbrush box too - not bad for $3. Got some Listerine mouthwash for $1 which was an absolute bargain. Steve picked up some cream for athletes foot which we both are suffering from. I'm now clear (at the moment) but Steve's got it bad. The heat, closed shoes and sweat isn't helping. It's also because we have communal showers and shared rooms. I had told Steve to always wear flipflops in the communal showers because that's where he'll pick things up - even when using gym showers. We walked up the road and I quickly ran into Zara. To confirm, obviously no running had actually taken place. I wanted to check whether they had my jeans in my size which they didn't. Grr. We walked through the Myer centre which was stupid really. Christian Louboutin, Chanel and Cèline. I was in absolute heaven but I couldn't even afford Poundland perfume. I walked around Ted Baker for a while trying to remember what it was like to have just a little bit of money. It was a nice bubble while it lasted. We went to the massive shopping centre in hope to find Steve a jacket. He only has short sleeved tops which isn't ideal at the moment. Temperatures are dropping below 20 now it's Autumn. I went out in a scarf yesterday so I'm not sure what winters going to bed like. They have loads of Ugg boot shops here which are stupidly cheap. The temptation to buy a pair is too much, I love me an Ugg. We walked around for hours on end going into loads of shops trying on clothing. I didn't - by the way. Not one piece of clothing was bought for myself. I did, however, buy a new necklace from Lovisa. Lovisa is basically the Claire's Accessories of Australia. They had a massive sale on and I broke my necklace in Sydney. Steve managed to find himself some extremely nice jeans in Gap. His jeans were left behind in Sydney also because they were big, old and tired. They needed binning. Gap had a massive 50% sale on which was fabulous. Now he had something to wear on his legs. Just for the jacket... (The reason we came out). We walked in shops we couldn't afford because it's what we do. We absolutely love Tommy Hilfiger so we rummaged through there. They had a sale on too and some tshirts were down to $20. It got to 1600 and I was dying of thirst. I hadn't drank since the tea I had in the morning which probably wasn't helping my throat either. We went up to level 4 to the food court. I always go to McDonald's for a Diet Coke because it's cheap and large. We hadn't realised how hungry we were until we started smelling the food. I bought a chicken ceaser salad wrap and Steve bought Chinese. There were different food stalls dotted around. He had sweet and sour chicken with rice. I wanted the chicken tikka from an Indian stall but it was medium heat not mild. Who makes tikka hot? Idiots. Clearly not been to the Gulshan. Might leave them the address to pop to Hoddesdon if they ever go to the UK. I doubt it though. We took a slow walk out of the shopping centre, still popping in and out of shops with no luck of finding a jacket. We walked home and I saw that H&M had a '$20 off jackets' sign. We went inside and had a browse. They had some really nice jackets for cheap and we managed to find a black one - similar to a bomber jacket but not puffy. Time to leave. Steve's feet were hurting and I was tired. We popped into Coles to grab a drink and headed to the hostel room. We sat down and chilled for five minutes. Steve got into the shower and I decided to do the bedsheets. I must've got a right sweat on. Has anyone ever tried making a bunk bed? Don't do it - it's not worth it, it took me ages. Trying to lift the mattresses up to tuck the sheets in was an absolute nightmare. Steve will do it next time, I'll make sure of that. Mel text me to see whether Steve and I wanted to go to Joint Bar. She was there with Aimee, Lauren, Cherry and 2 of her other friends that I didn't know. Steve was too tired but I said yes. I shoved my shoes on and went downstairs. We were in Joint Bar for no more than 5 minutes before we decided to try find another bar. We were bored of Joint. We walked 15 minutes to China Town to find the Berlin Bar. We had heard it was quirky so we wanted to give it a try. We had to go up 4 flights of stairs and press the doorbell for entry. The staff member took us in and explained how it worked. We could pick East side or West side to sit. East was posh and neat. West was casual and quirky. We obviously picked west. There were benches and boxes to sit on. There was one bunk bed with loads of little pillows to make it look like two sofas. It was dark with little lights and candles, and the water bottles were old gin bottles. The waitress sat on the table explaining the menu to us. The cocktails were run like a map. It has green for yes I like it or red for no I don't. It helps you decide what sort of cocktail you like - sweet, sour, fruity etc. It would've been nice to try but they were $20 each! We also found out it was $20 minimum to use debit card which was a massive pain. 2 girls shared a cocktail which was a good idea until it came out the size of 3 sips. Lauren and Mel got beefeater gin and lemonade which was $10. Aimee and I were the only ones sticking with water. I didn't have that kind of money. We all left shortly after except from Mel and Chris. They stayed for more drinks. I was absolutely starving by this point. I had only had a chicken wrap around 1600 and it was now 2200. I text Steve saying I was starving to which he replied same. No shock there. We went to McDonald's for a cheap dinner. Not my idea of the healthiest but there wasn't much else. We got back to the room about 2300 and started to look at holidays for when we were back home. I'm very excited for our next one, I think it's going to be Kenya. It will only be one week so I should hopefully get the annual leave for it. Got a good year and a half yet though.

[stevemoffett]

Cheat nights

They say the best diet is the healthiest one you can stick to long-term. In 2015, after an end-of-relationship, stress-induced, 15-pound weight loss, I decided to stay at that weight after the first wave of relationship-ending feelings let up. (There are multiple waves).

What ended up being the right diet for me, which has allowed me to keep my weight precisely where I wanted it since then, is the following: 2200 calories a day, emphasizing proteins and fats over carbs (nowhere near a “low-carb diet,” though). 

A little over two thousand calories a day, you will find, is not a very large amount of food when you look at every nutrition panel and add things up. For instance: a bowl of cereal, in general, is around 200 calories. Not much, right? 

That’s what the cereal box says, anyway. But, consider it more carefully: are you really only having one serving size, according to their definition? One serving size is 1 cup of cereal. Try measuring out 1 cup exactly, and pour it into your cereal bowl. Does that look like how much you normally pour?

Now, the milk. Cereal companies assume everyone uses a half-cup of skim milk. 

Do you use skim milk? Do you pour a half-cup in exactly? Again, measure a half cup of milk if you’re curious and pour it into your 1-cup cereal bowl. 

Does that look familiar? Do you measure it every time? If you do, are you a maniac?

Or, do you eyeball both the amount of cereal and the amount of milk you pour in like a normal person?

I do not ask these questions to shame you. If anything, I believe that nutrition facts are unrealistically-portioned. Consider the commercial for Oreo O’s, one of the most popular cereals in America. At the end of the 15-second clip, does that look to you like one cup of cereal and one half cup of milk? I mean--maybe it is, but the bowl is cupcake-sized, the spoon is for infants, and the camera lens is some kind of wide-angle deal, but...does that look like one cup? Do you suppose the Cream Team might have deliberately made it look bigger, so when you pour yourself a bowl where the Oreo O’s levitate all the way to the rim when you put in the milk, you sort of just assume that’s around 200 calories?

Now consider Oreo cookies themselves. One serving is 3 cookies (160 calories, no milk). When you buy one of those sleeves of 6 do you eat three, then...I don’t know...tear off half of that paper tray thing and then twist the plastic wrapper closed so you can eat the rest later? Or do you eat all 6 of them, eating the cream-less sides first, then eating the other sides with the cream puck facing your tongue? Because that’s what I do. 

Small digression: the other part of this equation is the sugar. In one serving of Oreo cereal or cookies, there are 14 grams of sugar. I would invite you to find a sensitive enough scale, and pour out 14 grams of sugar. It looks like a lot. Would you consider eating that much sugar straight? Would you consider pouring it into a glass of water and drinking it? Incidentally, one can of Coca Cola has 39 grams of sugar. In that case, you are drinking that amount of sugar dissolved in carbonated water.

Reader, I love cereal. My favorite brand is Frosted Mini-Wheats. Until I stopped eating them (to cut down on sugar), I scrupulously counted one serving size’s worth (21 biscuits) whenever I ate a bowl. I eyeballed the amount of milk, but only after measuring it the first time to see how it appeared. 

My favorite way to have it was with whole milk and a big scoop (2 tablespoons) of peanut butter. One serving size of the Mini-Wheats with skim milk is 230 calories. Using whole milk puts it up to 270. Two tablespoons of peanut butter is 200 calories, so that’s 470 calories total. Again--I invite you to measure those amounts out and see what it looks like.

It will look paltry, I assure you. It looked paltry all 1000 evenings I ate it, too, but it tasted great. And, afterward, if I waited about 20 minutes, I could resist pouring myself another bowl, because at the end of the day, I was never full--I was only just full enough not to feel hunger pangs.

For me, this was unsustainable. And what I will tell you next, to some, would border on describing an eating disorder, so if you don’t want to expose yourself to that kind of thing, consider stopping reading here.

The key to happiness, I have come to find, relies in big part on having something to look forward to--assuming the lack of another source of regret or guilt or fear or sadness or dread. So two times a week, I would be able to look forward to a cheat night during which, starting at dinner time, I could eat whatever I wanted, bar nothing.

One of my absolute favorite things to eat is Vito’s Pizza near where I used to live. They make a pizza with perfect crust, and if you ask for it “light done,” you can get it so that the dough is soft with a paper-thin crisp layer. Additionally, the sauce and cheeses are unmatched.

I’d share this with my brother and sister-in-law (my sister-in-law is generous and would eat fewer slices than my brother and I). My sister-in-law would also make brownies for us with peanut butter chips mixed in, perfectly baked so the middle was still slightly goopy. Arguably, in my opinion, it is one of the most delicious dinner/dessert combos you could eat.

And yet, my gluttony would bide its time since the previous cheat night, growing more perverted in the meantime. In addition to my idiosyncratic way of eating pizza (tear off the crust and eat it first, then dip each bite of pizza into a bowl of vinegar), I would blur the line between dinner and dessert. It quickly got to the point where I would take a bite of vinegar-y pizza, and then immediately take a bite of the brownie.

I estimate that given each of the pizza slices being around 600 calories, and the amount of brownies I’d have, the cheat night would be at least 3100 or so calories in that meal alone. And then, frequently, I would eat more afterward. A few times, I drove from their house at 10 PM and got McDonald’s drive-thru on the way back to my apartment.

If you’re curious, no, I have never purged. The idea of that frightens me. I would describe my attitude about the consequences of overeating as decidedly Catholic: you get what you deserve, and that usually means feeling bad.

In my case, that usually meant a night of feeling completely disgusting, occasionally breaking out into sweats as I slept no matter how cool my bedroom was, and still feeling full the following morning, only getting relatively back to normal after an intense exercise bike ride before work, and even then, my stomach still was rumbly until lunch.

Remember, I said I gave myself two cheat nights a week. On the other cheat night, I went to my parents’ house, where my dad usually made one of about 4 or 5 staple meals: turkey meat loaf (my favorite), shish kabob, eggplant parmesan, chicken, or sandwiches.

I’d eat the main course and then plunder whatever snacks and cookies they had in the house, most often cheese curls or Oreos. Again, the calorie count would probably get over 3000, but since unlike the limitations of the amount of pizza on pizza cheat night, there was always a surplus of food at my parents’ house, so I wouldn’t eat any more once I got home.

And that’s how it went for over 3 years. The cheat nights were two days away from each other, so since I’ve moved away, I spaced the nights to split the week more evenly (Saturday and Wednesday). 

But now it’s up to me to feed myself, and things have become weirder.

Where I live now has good food, but good pizza is hard to find. The best place I’ve found is about 20 minutes away, whereas there’s a Domino’s down the street. Do you think I regularly drive 40 minutes after work to get the good pizza, or do you think I now have the Domino’s app on my phone?

And on the other cheat night, I just go to the grocery store and pick up random things. One week I ate an entire box of Cheez-Its, a large package of hummus, a whole DiGiorno’s pizza (WHY???), and an entire container of glazed donut holes. Last night, I still had some celery from Thanksgiving, so I made stuffing from scratch, ate a flatbread from the grocery store with it, a couple of pancakes with eggs, and, again, a whole package of glazed donut holes, this time with peanut butter spread on them. (By the way, the donut holes package has only 60 grams of sugar in it total--about 1.5 cans of Coke’s worth).

I sit here this morning feeling like I always do post-cheat, which is crappy. I always resolve to eat less the following cheat night, and I almost never do. 

Meanwhile, the menu has continued to get less stable. I am convinced that if things continue like this, there will be a night where I just eat a stick of butter like it’s a candy bar. Or I’ll hire someone to throw a fistful of Fruity Pebbles at my open mouth and put a cigarette out on my arm. 

My weight’s still fine. I increased my daily non-cheat day intake to around 2600 calories and increased my time in the gym to try to see what that does to my lifting regimen. I weigh 165 pounds at the moment, which is a 5-pound gain over my 2015-2018 weight (there was always a fluctuation of around +/- 8 pounds, but the average was always 160).

I also feel like I should change because I’m getting older. To document this, there is now a gray stripe in my beard, from the bottom of my chin to my neck on my left side. I’m not sure if I’m paying more attention to feeling crappy after cheats because I’m more paranoid being alone out here, or because it’s actually taking a harsher toll on my aging body. And eventually, eating a ton and then lying down to sleep shortly afterward is going to give me some kind of reflux issue, I am positive.

The real lesson here is probably in the math, and moderation is probably the answer. Let’s say each cheat night is 3600 calories. Each day before the cheat I eat around 1000 calories, making it 4600 calories in that day. That means I could dispense with the cheat nights and just spread the total excess calories (2400+2400=4800) over the other 7 days, which makes an additional 686 calories a day.

Dieting is hard, but the health benefits, hard as they are to get, will turn out to be worth it. 

Eh, maybe not. But if you’re making things difficult for yourself, it’s probably going to end up being good for you. Another decidedly Catholic attitude.

[daveywankenobie]

I’ve no idea what the scales will say this morning – but whatever it is I’m committed to going anyway.

I’ve been good all week long – but this morning (typically) I feel bloated, sluggish and heavy. It’s hot outside and I reckon I’m going to be retaining more than just water.

Unless things (ahem) get moving soon I’m gonna have a crappy morning on the scales (pun intended).

It’s not been a crappy couple of weeks however – and yesterday I managed to navigate another work event and it’s associated perils.

As generous as my company is (and they are) there wasn’t a lot laid out yesterday for the more health conscious amongst the hundreds of attendees at its conference.

In fact the single concessions to a healthy lifestyle at the event that I could find were Diet Coke and a large bowl of apples – which I took full advantage of.

I also ate the bacon and the egg from the provided breakfast rolls – but pulled the rind off before slinging it (along with the bread) into the bin.

I’ve nothing against carbs mind you – but refined ones are something I try to avoid as much as I can. White bread is a complete waste of dietary calories and bread in general just makes me feel slow and sleepy.

Needless to say when I got home, after a long day on my feet I was both tired AND hungry. On reflection I wish that I’d made a packed lunch – but hindsight is 20/20.

On the plus side there was a complete first for me in the shape of heatwave clothing.

My company had been very clear that the event was a ‘casual casual day’ and that since the current heatwave was expected to continue we could wear shorts if we wished.

I definitely wished.

Thankfully – I’m feeling confident enough with how I look nowadays (at least from the knees down) that I’m happy to be seen by anyone in my shorts – of which I now have several pairs.

So for the first time in my life I wore shorts to work yesterday.

How cool is that?!

I also got to sit in the new BMW i8 (A Hybrid Sports Car) for a brief moment to have my picture taken.

It’s been lurking in the car park at work for a couple of days (along with a couple of other bargain basement automobiles) looking sleek and sexy.

I’m definitely no petrol head (I actually walk more miles per year than I drive) but this is a seriously nice car. It’s upward opening doors look awesome – as do the exterior and interior views.

I’ve not clambered in or out of many cars in this price bracket (the i8 starts at around £106,000 I believe) but I have to say that not only would this have been impossible back when I started losing weight – but it would have been bloody tricky even a year ago when I climbed Snowdon.

It’s pretty crazy to think that that at the time I was around 19st – over 5st heavier than I am now.

Navigating oneself in and out of this beast is something of a tricky task that necessitates a driver of a certain size (it has huge sills with a very low seating position) and I found out the hard way that there was just no elegant way of accomplishing it.

I’m just glad I was wearing shorts and not a mini skirt.

It’s no wonder that Paris Hilton’s underwear (or lack of it) appeared in the news so much some years back.

When you’re silly rich then cars become equally silly to get in and out of.

Once you’re inside mind you it’s a really lovely place to sit.

Everything is close to hand and the car feels like tailor made clothing – which is I guess the aim at this kind of price point.

If you’re spending that much money on a car you want to feel like a Saudi Prince when you’re in it.

Given my choice of shirts for the day I was shooting more for ‘Saudi Princess’ however – and I think I pretty much nailed it.

Overall the day was a tiring but successful event – and I was pretty proud that I came home to eat rather than cracking and grabbing a plate of sandwiches and a donut when I was flagging.

It’s all too easy though to do this kind of thing though – and it frustrates me that society as a whole has to spend the lion’s share of its time resisting everything around them rather then being presented with overwhelmingly positive choices.

Whilst looking at the BBC News today I happened to notice an article that highlighted just how badly the most marginalised areas of society have it with regard to choice.

(Link to article)

It suggests that deprived areas in the country have as much as five times the number of fast food outlets that the more affluent ones do.

From their perspective it must seem like it’s everywhere and there’s little else in the way of choice.

It would be easy to argue I guess that it’s solely a money proposition. Many might argue that fast food is cheaper than healthy equivalents – and therefore the outlets are more relevant in the local communities that they’re found.

However I know from being unemployed that it’s possible to eat well on a budget (though maybe not as easy to get so many good calories) it just requires an understanding of what types of food you should be eating and the willpower to do it.

Unfortunately I think it’s the former that’s the major part of the problem.

Far too often I listen to conversations from a younger generation that seem to have little or no understanding of food groups – or where dietary staples come from and the nutrition that they contain.

It’s education that’s lacking – and sadly when we’re willing as a society to let television and advertising teach the adults of tomorrow what’s good food and what isn’t we’ll never have a healthy society.

The obesity and diabetes epidemics show no signs of stopping and I see no evidence that we will be anything other than an increasingly overweight and heavily medicated society in the years to come.

It makes me both sad and angry.

Supermarkets have a lot to answer for – because you can’t blame a fast food outlet for driving down its costs and selling food cheaply.

A while back it was pointed out in the evening standard that food packaging can drive up the cost of even healthy alternatives by an amazing 50%.

How is it right that a McDonald’s cheeseburger at 99p is cheaper than a six pack of Granny Smiths apples (£1.60) from Tesco?

It’s the reality in which we live though – and it’s one that people like me navigate daily.

It’s really harder than it needs to be too.

It should be a darned site easier if you ask me and government should take the lead by educating the youth of today to be the health nuts of tomorrow whilst at the same time dramatically decreasing the ability of companies that sell crap to market their products.

If they can sell cigarettes in plain packaging plastered with images of cancer then they should put a picture of a morbidly obese cadaver on a Big Mac because it’s practically the same thing in my view.

Both will kill you eventually but one will taste nicer while it does.

Anyway. I’ll climb down off my soapbox. It’s time to get ready and go to Slimming World.

(Author goes to weigh in)

Well – after being set for a maintain all week my body decided to go the other way this morning and hold onto whatever liquid/solid that it felt was necessary to not let go of.

I can live with that though. After the last two weeks of events and eating out I’m pretty pleased with this result.

Now it’s time to go for a walk internet – because my waistline doesn’t modify itself.

If I want to continue wearing shorts and feeling confident I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Again and again.

Davey

It’s everywhere! I've no idea what the scales will say this morning - but whatever it is I'm committed to going anyway.

[aloxxthefox]

Sapphire

        It had been years since my last relationship before Jen. That tends to be the consequences of being a socially awkward nerd. My only friend, Blake, would always tell me “You could have a woman if you just replaced your computer with a gym membership.” He was always incredibly blunt like that. I kept him around because he understood ‘gamer-language’ but his value really shined when he gave me the truth. It always hit like a war-hammer but he never failed to be correct when it came to sensitive topics. Little did he know I didn’t care much about getting a girl. I was perfectly content with wasting behind the dim light of my computer monitor. Each click of my mouse dragging me deeper and deeper into an irrecoverable lifestyle, doing nothing by wasting my not-so-precious time.

           At the time, I worked at the local watering hole. By that, I mean Sonic. Everybody went to Sonic for their Diet Coke and Dr. Pepper hook-up in my town. The only other places were all sit-down or McDonalds, which had rumors of roaches. That was when I met Jennifer, she preferred going by “Jen.” She thought it was quirky because gin happened to be her favorite drink, Bombay Sapphire to be particular. With which, her eyes shared color. I was always lost in the pair. They made me feel like the sky had come down in the form of a person to greet me personally. She had a sparkle to her eyes, almost like a ring of gold that surrounded her pupils like the sun during a total eclipse. Her hair was a dark, dark black, which she curled and had faded into a light auburn, as the strands got closer to the bottom. There was nothing natural about it, but she managed to pull it off with grace. I always said that she would be just as pretty and her purse would be heavier if she did not go to the barber to get that neat trick done so often, turns out it is because she had red hair. It never hurt me though.

           She spent the beginning of summer pulling into one of my stalls every day between three and four o’ clock. It wasn’t until the third or fourth time around that she asked me for my number, which I happily obliged. That was the moment I started caring about having a girlfriend, damn was she stunning. Even her voice flowed off her tongue like milk and honey. I do not know what she saw in me, but I went from serving her root beer to coming over to her house for pool parties and eventually family gatherings. We fell head over heels for each other and tumbled into a snowball. Every aspect of our relationship was moving so quickly, I could hardly keep up. It sounds unhealthy, it might’ve been but we didn’t mind it. We never bickered about anything bigger than the formal name of a color or directions, we both thought we were adorable when we were angry though so it didn’t ever actually matter. She got along with Blake and I tried my best to get along with her abundance of friends.

We spent about two years dating each other, living at our parent’s houses while I worked and she did some classes at the local community college. I finally saved up enough to rent a small apartment, and Jen decided she was done living under her father’s roof. I enrolled into the technology center; I figured that I could get my mechanic certification and have a little bit more money. Jen started working at one of the diners in town; we were getting by just fine with each other and end-of-the-month ramen. Jen even took up some computer gaming, it was cheap entertainment. Two extremely happy years passed and just as I was finishing my certification, Jen came to me with the little red plus sign. I know it is all extremely sappy, but I swear to all that is holy I cried that night. Everything was working out. That spring was the first time I saw God.

           Jen gave up gin and just about everything else; she even got mad at me because I accidentally touched her with the end of a permanent marker. She was adamant on having a perfectly healthy baby and what kind of father would I be if I didn’t encourage that. I got a job at Napa and she still worked at the diner. Fall rolled around and Jen was getting bigger. We had football parties in our little apartment for our close friends. Blake was showing up alone, but he was basically part of the little family Jen and I had started. Soon-to-be Uncle Blake never found it awkward to ask to feel the kicking. He was almost as proud as I was.

           We rented out a small house in the beginning of October. We unpacked just in time for Halloween and Jen dressed up as a witch, I put on my mechanic outfit and smeared black paint all over my face. She thought I wasn’t original enough but some of the little kids loved it, one even asked me questions. As we passed out candy, I couldn’t help but just fantasize about walking my little girl around the block. What was she going to go as? Perhaps she would be a fairy, a princess? She was the daughter of a mechanic; I think I could get her to go as a Transformer, maybe end Bumblebee. Eleven o’ clock rolled around and Jen was finishing getting ready for bed, as I laid in bed she came out of the bathroom. Shower steam rolled out from the bathroom door, in true Halloween fashion. She took off her shirt to reveal a jack o’ lantern. She used face paint to turn her belly into a Jack o’ Lantern. We giggled for hours that night before being able to drift to sleep. She thought she was bigger than she was, but it was still funny.

           Thanksgiving rolled around and she was getting too big to work so she took some time off. The owners of the diner was an extremely warm, friendly old couple so they didn’t mind. She thought she was big in October; she would moan and wallow on the couch now. She was still beautiful when she cried. We were hoping for a Christmas baby, but we got closer to a turkey baby. On November 30, 2015, Paislee was born at exactly 10:33 PM and he cries reminded me of milk and honey. She was 7 IBS and 15 ounces. I had forgotten to, so I went out and bought a crib that night. Everything else was already at home or in my trunk.

           They say that you’ll miss everything if you blink, and I did just that. I can hardly remember waking up in the middle of the nights to crying. I definitely remember changing diapers. I remember when she started school, Jen and I dropped her off together. Uncle Blake still made abundant appearances. She is old enough to walk home alone from school now. Sometimes she even goes with her friends to the shops down Main Street before coming home. Every now and again, when sitting at home for dinner she might look at me and she will smile. Her eyes are the same pure blue as her mothers. They send me back to a time when the sky would come down to greet me. My hair is starting to turn gray, but hers seems to be settling on a natural black. I think she got it from my mother. I even got her to wear the transformer costume. The second time I saw God was years before in November, now I see him every evening over dinner, living in my daughter.

-Jordan Coles

[bigsquidgelittlesquidge-blog]

My Pregnancy Diary

I started to write this pregnancy diary as my body was changing so dramatically. The first Trimester was hell! I felt so so awful and because I didn’t have much of a bump yet, other people didn’t realise how I must be feeling. You’re also keeping the pregnancy a secret just encase anything happens. Suffering in silence is not great! Certainly didn’t feel like I was blooming haha.

When I had just announced my pregnancy at 13 weeks with my beautiful friend Ross!

Many people look at you with a sneer when you wear a ‘baby on board badge’ on the tube, as you barely have a bump at this stage. Honestly that first trimester is horrendous, I felt like i was on a ferry constantly and needed a seat more than ever!  So from the word go you have judgmental eyes looking at you! When I had a huge bump sometimes it was easier to stand. If you’re a man, you can’t judge, you’re never going to experience this, so shush! Although tubes are usually hosting the ‘who can be the most miserable competition’ so I wouldn’t take it personally. 

No one told me about how bad I would feel during pregnancy. I don’t know if it’s because I was the first out of my friends to have a baby, but it was definitely a huge shock to me. I have known people who have had great pregnancy’s and I think ‘Well how nice for you!’...I hate you (joking not joking).

Here are some quotes from the first trimester of my pregnancy diary 2016.

‘It was a strange feeling.’

‘It was his birthday but I couldn’t hold the information back.’

‘My boobs hurt.’

‘It was like we weren’t facing reality.‘

‘I’m over the moon.’

‘I’m super gassy.’

‘It is so hard to eat with nausea.’

‘So hard trying to think of excuses to not drink alcohol.’

‘I had a huge lunch- I’m an absolute beast!’

‘Jayden (nephew) loved destroying my castle!’ (building blocks) 

‘Tim (Stepdad) was making sure it wasn’t awkward by saying how excited he was about having another grandchild. He is a diamond.’

‘I’m so thirsty all the time... but drinking water makes me sick....dilemma!’ 

‘Violent farts!’

‘Running in to cuddle Jayden, it was amazing, I felt so needed!‘

‘I pee three times an hour.’

‘I just found toy cars in the washing machine!’ (nephews hehe)

‘I keep waking up early.’

‘We are so so happy.’

‘Bloated.’

‘I was so hungry it hurt!’

‘We slept zzzz.’

‘another 4 hour nap...’

‘Never eating spicy pizza again!’

‘Burps are violent today!’

‘My warm chocolate pudding was cold, it made me sad, I’M PREGNANT!’

‘Finally got home after lots of misdirection and I nearly killed Tim for his “short cuts” haha.’ 

‘I was craving spring rolls.’

‘I’m going to start knitting’ (I sucked at knitting haha)

‘I watched Loose Women’ (the obsession began)

‘Cannot wait to see Ryan!’ (baby daddy)

‘I threw up the sausage rolls and we went to bed. He spooned me loads, it was nice.’ (this is my favourite haha) 

‘I was in the worst mood and wanted to kill everyone.’

‘Ryan bought me an owl teddy even though I was horrible to anyone who breathed. I called her Owlch because I felt ouchy.’

‘Toughest day so far!’

‘Evenings make me so sick, I can never eat dinner.’

‘I was sick and peed myself a little.’

‘I began to dry my hair and threw up on myself.’

‘Coke seems to help!’ (I’m pretty sure I meant the coca cola variety) 

‘Going to ring the doctor to see if I can stop being sick somehow.’ (she told me to suck it up on the phone haha) 

‘Need to feel better so I can start enjoying pregnancy and get excited.’

‘I can eat some things now...mcdonalds happy meal. SO UNHEALTHY *weeps*’

‘Ryan is working so hard atm.’

‘It will be amazing to live with my love.’

‘I can’t wait for the scan so it feels more real!’

End of diary!

So I stopped writing my pregnancy diary after the first trimester because writing was making me feel sick and writing ‘I was sick’ everyday was getting pretty boring. I don’t want to scare anyone about getting pregnant but I just think you should know the realities of it first! Although maybe ignorance is bliss! 9 months of being sick was an experience but it does end! You get a little bubba after all that, which is a feeling i can’t even put into words, it’s that incredible!  

What I ate to survive:

Happy meals

humbugs

ginger biscuits

dry crackers

rice crackers

ice lollies

tonic water

Oranges 

babybells 

Apples

Coca Cola

Cheese strings

Frubes

Not the healthiest diet but whatever you can get down you is a bonus! 

Good luck to all pregnant ladies! You can do it! It does end eventually and what a finale! 

Bump- 16 weeks pregnant.

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Sixteen-Ounce Soda Ban is a Cup Full of Irony, But Still May Be Impactful

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/sixteen-ounce-soda-ban-is-a-cup-full-of-irony-but-still-may-be-impactful/

Sixteen-Ounce Soda Ban is a Cup Full of Irony, But Still May Be Impactful

There are a lot of things I love about New York City... from the theater, to amazing restaurants, to world-renowned museums, there's pretty much nothing you can't get in the Big Apple. Except sodas larger than 16 ounces.

That is, if Mayor Michael Bloomberg gets his way.

Note that it's totally and completely legal to buy cancer-causing cigarettes and to gorge on 2,000-calorie cheesecake, but under a proposed bill before the NYC Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, it'd be illegal to grab a soda bigger than 16 ounces starting in March 2013. If you want a larger size at a restaurant, deli, movie theater, sporting event or food cart, you'd have to buy two 12 oz sodas.

I'm not officially a New Yorker anymore (since I live about 30 minutes north of the city now) and I don't drink regular soda unless I have a low blood sugar and I'm desperate, so it's not like I'm taking this ban personally. I just think regular soda is calorie-filled, nutrient-deficient, artificially-everything carbonated water.

So while the people most upset by this ban are probably the vendors, I think the basis for Bloomberg's ban isn't outrageous (even if it is misguided).

We know that type 2 diabetes isn't caused by obesity, but it's a risk factor and there's a strong correlation. Experts also argue that carbohydrates are large part of the obesity problem, not just fat. A 16-ounce regular soda is chock-full of carbohydrates (39 grams in Coke) but contains zero fat and isn't even particularly high in calories either (138 calories). However, I also don't think banning a particular size of soda container will solve the obesity or the type 2 diabetes epidemic. That's because regular soda is just one piece of the much larger obesity pie (pun most definitely intended).

Some folks do believe Bloomberg is making a good point here. "This ban brings about discussion of the larger issue that food portions are just too big," said registered dietician and CDE Megan Fendt, who works at the Friedman Diabetes Institute in Manhattan, where we contacted her. "Even if the ban doesn't go through, it's a good thing because it's raising awareness about how big our food and drinks are when they don't need to be."

Ericka Arrecis, a registered dietician at the Naomi Berrie Diabetes Center in Manhattan, also supports the proposed ban. "There are so many contributing factors to the obesity problem, but I think if we do little changes at a time, we may see larger results later on," explains Arrecis, who sees many patients with type 2 diabetes struggle with weaning themselves off sweetened soda and other beverages.

And political TV reporter Dominic Carter, who grew up in a poor NYC neighborhood and developed type 2 diabetes himself, writes in a Huffington Post piece: "Maybe if Michael Bloomberg was the mayor when I was a kid in NYC, I wouldn't have to now also go take my four blood pressure pills to go with the daily diabetes regimen."

The Iron(ies)

The irony of the situation is the fact that this anti-soda ban was announced on National Donut Day, which is supported by the Bloomberg Administration. I wish I was kidding. He even issued an official proclamation and everything. Dunkin Donuts' Boston Kreme Donut also comes with 39 grams of carbohydrate... but is loaded with 16 grams of fat and 310 calories. And apparently that's just fine with the Mayor.

On the Today Show last Friday, Matt Lauer criticized his guest, Bloomberg, saying, "Your administration has come out in support of National Donut Day. It sounds ridiculous."

Bloomberg defended himself saying, "It doesn't sound ridiculous, one doughnut is not going to hurt you. In moderation, most things are OK."

You can't see me, but I'm rolling my eyes bigger than ever before. Bloomberg is contradicting himself! If he really believes everything in moderation is OK, then he would trust the population to moderate themselves, including soda. OR... he would also protest against other portion increases, like doughnuts and pastries sold in sizes that would have made our great grandparents eyes pop.

The ban essentially says Bloomberg doesn't trust New Yorkers to moderate themselves, and he's honing in on cup sizes... even though you can still 1) refill your cup, 2) buy two 12 oz. sodas, or 3) buy another high-calorie drink that isn't soda, like juice, frappuccinos or milkshakes (it's all good as long as it's 50% milk) that come in super-sizes.

While the media has cheekily coined this the "Ban on the Big Gulp," that's actually not true. That's because 7-11, which serves the Big Gulp, arguably one of the worst things you can consume with 91 grams of sugar (the "Super Big Gulp" has 128 grams of sugar), is exempt from the Bloomberg ban because 7-11 falls under the "grocery and convenience store" loop-hole. You can't hear me, but now I'm banging my head against the wall.

Lauer asked if Bloomberg thought that folks might just walk down the street to the convenience store to pick up a 20-ounce bottle of Coke or Dr. Pepper. Bloomberg acknowledged that was a possibility. "Some will and they still have the right to do that and [the ban] doesn't hurt them at all. But those who will drink less or eat less, those people will be better off."

His rationale is that people eat what is put in front of them. Studies do show that when they eat from smaller plates, they eat less. Which is fine, but what's to stop politicians from banning large French fries? Or restaurants from serving meals with more than 700 calories? There's a slippery slope here, People.

Effects of This Ban

OK, so if Bloomberg is pulling the "making an example" trick, singling out one "bad guy" to make a point... How effective is that? Let's have a look at some response so far:

* Shannon Brownlee, author of Overtreated and acting director of the New America Foundation's Health Policy Program, suggests this ban might "reset" our expectations on what is appropriate, similar to how bans on smoking has made smoking less acceptable (can you imagine what Don Draper would think?). Note that Bloomberg's own ban on smoking in parks, on benches and other public areas has been adopted around the country, and definitely for the better.

In a TIME magazine editorial, Brownlee writes: "When I was a kid, Coca-Cola came in 6-ounce glass bottles, and that seemed like plenty. It wasn't all that long ago that a 12-ounce soda was considered perfectly sufficient — even large. But walk into any pizzeria or deli these days and you'll have a very hard time even finding 12-ounce cans of anything, as 20-ounce plastic bottles are now considered the standard single-serving size."

* President Clinton and First Lady Michelle Obama are also on board with the proposal. On a recent episode of Piers Morgan, Clinton said, ""I think he's doing the right thing. For the first time, Type 2 diabetes is showing up in 9-year-olds, and among the baby boomers, who are retiring."

* For her part, Michelle Obama has stated that while she applauds Bloomberg for taking action against obesity, "this is not something the Administration is pursuing at a federal level and not something I'm specifically endorsing or condemning." Hmm, that from the nation's most prominent advocate against obesity in children?

* Arrecis, of the Naomi Berrie center, praises the spotlight this ban has put on making small changes (reducing portion sizes) that can have a big impact on health. "A big drastic change is typically not sustainable for people who are trying to eat healthier, so a small change can make a huge difference. Even if you reduce your portion by 20%, your brain doesn't realize you're eating less but the impact on your weight is significant."

* At the Friedman Diabetes Institute, Fendt has a suggestion: "It'll come down to putting pressure on the food companies themselves. It's hard to make a healthy choice when huge food portions and drinks are in front of people and it's so cheap. If (the vendors) join the mayor and the government and say, 'We would not provide them,' it would be better than banning them, which sometimes make people want them even more."

* Over at DiabeticConnect, more than 100 messages have been posted, with comments ranging from personal responsibility, to identifying the real cause of obesity, to potential for bans on things like video games and television.

One member, Caroltoo, writes, "Almost everyone has an idea why (certain suggestions) can't work, but few, if any, make constructive suggestions of what could work. So we are in a stalemate."

The Portions vs. Exercise Discussion

We live in an incredibly unhealthy culture. In 2010, there were more than 460 Dunkin Donuts stores and more than 250 Starbucks branches in NYC, plus the lack of time and resources for exercise can be extremely prohibitive (commutes are the longest in NYC compared to the rest of the country, and gym memberships average $100 a month). I wasn't sure how successful banning soda in excess of 16 oz at McDonalds would be (have you looked at their menu lately?), but it's common for folks to only think about calories in food they eat — but not what they drink!

So although this proposal is getting a lot of push-back, and it probably won't even pass, it is bringing up another crucial point about diet and exercise: It's much easier to avoid consuming calories than to try burning it off later. — IMHO

"I know that a lot of people are countering the idea of the soda ban by encouraging people to move more, but a 20 ounce soft drink, which is a typical size, is 240 calories," Fendt says. "You'd need to do jumping jacks for an hour straight to burn off those calories. It's much simpler to not have the soda bottle in the first place, rather than having to devote a whole hour of intense exercise after the fact."

If that's the case, then it would seem that a soda ban on super-sized drinks has the potential to at least discourage folks from consuming more calories than they could possibly burn. But it's also clear that more involvement from the food corporations and more investment in encouraging personal responsibility is really what is going to make a difference. Are we on the verge of healthy portions revolution?

Only time will tell.

The New York City Department of Health has three months to make their decision about this ban... We'll keep you posted.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

Type 2 Diabetes Treatment Type 2 Diabetes Diet Diabetes Destroyer Reviews Original Article

[elevenhoursinfront-blog]

23rd December 2017

We woke up around 0800 again. A very busy day ahead of us. Plus, we love the breakfast so much – it's well worth waking up for. We chucked some random clothes on, shoved our key/lanyard around our necks and hiked down the million of stairs. Our faces had a massive smile on constantly. We are so happy here.

We had our breakfast. I managed to resist the pancakes both days which is a massive deal for me. I absolutely love pancakes. They're the best thing in the world, no?! We washed our plates in the kitchen and headed back upstairs to our room. We had to sort all of our clothes out and check out by 10. However, because Sam is so good to us, she said we could just take our time. It didn't matter so much. I also asked if we could shower later on before leaving and she said 'of course'. To be fair, most hostel staff anywhere are pretty lenient. Especially in the circumstances of leaving late after check out.

It was extremely stressful trying to pack our bags and then leaving stuff out for later, after our showers. Plus having our mini backpacks ready with the stuff we needed. Not only that, we were off out for the day too with swimwear so we needed stuff for that too.

We finished and I was stressed to the max. It's like packing before you leave for a holiday. Trying to make sure you have everything you need in the places you need them. We carried our backpacks down and then went back upstairs for our dirty sheets. We chucked them into the wash and then shoved our bags into the TV room.

We left the hostel and went to Kings Cross station. We both had about $10-$15 left on our Opal cards so we didn't want to put any more money onto them. We were literally down to the littlest bit of money left. We jumped on a tube to Bondi Junction – 2 stops. We had then got the bus to Bondi Beach. I was so excited – I love it here.

We walked up and down the high street, going in and out of shops. I came across one with a Bondi Australia hoody and I loved it! It was perfect. I'm so pleased I didn't settle for a rubbish one yesterday. We walked over to the grass area and sunbathed for a while. We spoke about tomorrow, the day after and the 365 days that flashed behind us. Strange. Weird.

We walked down to the Bondi Icebergs. That's where the famous swimming pool is – the one 'in the sea'. The waves crash and go into the water. It's great. We took some photos and decided to actually go inside to the bar area and treat ourselves to a drink. We both had a beer and watched over the horizon. We obviously went for the cheapest beer there was and dreamed of going for an expensive cocktail. One day but not any time soon... We wanted food but we already felt like we didn't fit in there. Everyone looked posh, like they had money... We weren't' either.

There was a balcony all around the bar area which was lovely. I managed to take some good photos of the pool and beach. We left shortly after. We were absolutely starving so we went back down the high street to find somewhere to eat. We put enough money aside to ensure we enjoyed our final day, as much as we could.

We came across a Hurricane and decided to eat there. It's such a lovely chain and we enjoy it every time. We went there yesterday but oh well. We were happy to go again! We sat down, ordered and enjoyed our time. Our meal came and it was slightly different in a worse way and the price was a bit more expensive. Presumably because of where we were. We still really enjoyed our meal, but last's nights meal was better.

We left the restaurant and realised that we needed to get the bus back to the train station. We waited 10 minutes for the bus outside the restaurant. I tried so hard to take everything in, like I have all year. It's so difficult when time passes by so quickly. We jumped on the bus. There was an English family on there on their holidays. It was so great to hear a homely accent.

We got off the bus and onto the train. We only had two stops to go. We jumped off and walked to our hostel for the last time. Annoyingly, the TV had people inside watching a film. We were back and forward in front of the telly getting our stuff from the luggage room. We got showered, put our travel clothes on and sat in the TV room. I was feeling really tired. We had a little while before we needed to leave. We both fell asleep on the bean bags.

Davide was in the TV with another person flicking through scary films. It was time to leave. We grabbed our bags, shoved them on our backs and said goodbye to Sam. She took a photo of us on the stairs. A year. An entire year has passed and everything has changed.

We left the hostel and started walking towards Kings Cross station for the last time. We got our train to Town Hall and then to the International Airport stop. We both had no money left on our opal cards after today so I was hoping this journey didn’t cost us much... It was about 10 stops though so I'm certain we wouldn’t get through the barriers.

We received a text on the way saying that our flight had been delayed by an hour or two. Excellent. Wish we knew that before we left. Could've stayed a bit longer napping.

We got to the stop and it cost us both $8 however the gates opened as we tapped them... How strange. I call that lucky if you ask me! Thanks Aus. We walked around the airport trying to find out check in desk. We were travelling with Etihad to Mumbai, catching a domestic flight from there to Goa. A very busy 2 days ahead of us and we were ready for bed...

We found our desk and the female said we had a delay and printed our tickets. It said we arrive 10 hours later than usual... We asked 'Does that mean we are going to miss our connecting flight from Mumbai to Goa?”. The female said “Yeah.”. We wen't MAD! What the hell?! Where does that leave us now?! What are we going to do?! I asked for the manager – this lady did not have a clue what she was talking about. The manager came over and said that we were delayed but we would get on our connecting flight – it was an error on the print outs by them. They didn't get the times right. Jesus Christ – I almost went batshit crazy.

We checked our bags in – thank goodness. We went through security and found the seating area. We walked around all the shops but we had no money. We had hardly any money for food and drink. We sat down and I realised that we had a lot of change to spend. We already got some of our Australian notes changed into Rupees.

I counted $30 in change. Steve suggested halving it and us going round on our own to buy each other a Christmas present. What a great idea! Good luck trying to buy something in Australia for $15 – let alone in an airport! Steve went off first. I played on my laptop... 30 minutes later...

Steve has a present. I wonder what it could be. Steve isn't the greatest at gifts – he gives literally everything away. Steve organising some sort of surprise would be literally like telling a 5 year old. I was excited though. My turn.

I walked around. EVERYTHING WAS SO EXPENSIVE. What the hell was I meant to buy?! I text Steve asking how the hell he found something to buy me. He said 'With great difficulty'. Yeah, tell me about it.

I eventually found two possible gifts. One bottle of Jack Daniels or an extra large Toblerone. The Jack Daniels was a bit larger than your average 'miniature' bottle. I wanted the Toblerone more than the Jack Daniels but I couldn't find plain milk chocolate. Only dark or white. I couldn't remember whether Steve enjoyed white chocolate enough to have an extra large bar of it. I was gutted. I spent an extra 15 minutes looking for milk chocolate. I even asked two members of staff. I had to go with the alcohol. They had the fireball so I went with that rather than the Jack Daniels. We love that cinnamon drink. I also had change left for a large bag of Haribo sweets. Not something I enjoy.

Done. I walked back to Steve. We grabbed a bite to eat. There was a McDonald’s next to the seating area but that was really the only thing. Everything else was very Asian. I don't like Asian food really – Sushi, Japanese, Dim Sim... I'll stick with a chicken salad and a diet coke. They had a two floor Mcdonald’s. The counter was on the ground floor – where we were. That's all that was on the floor. They sent the orders up via print out and then the meals where clipped onto a conveyor belt which ended up coming down! It was so amazing! I loved it. I just watched and watched for ages. It was fascinating. We'd never seen anything like that before.

After food, a nap, a walk, twenty toilet trips... It was time to go. We sat in our seats, comfortable and excited. It was 2300 and it was time to leave Australia. The plane took off.