#though i did also beat the broken vessel And the enraged. whatever that REALLY fucked up angry crystal guy was called. today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jorvikzelda · 6 months

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im not even GOOD at the fucking game like probably i suck Ass at it actually. i havent watched anyone play it so i cant say for sure but jesus fucking christ i am dying a lot and my coordination is like. not even NEARLY good enough for these fucking climbing & air navigation combo moves. im talking like, “i just retried probably 20 times to get across some fucking long spiky hole in greenpath and then had to just decide it was time to give up and go to bed bc i couldnt get it to work” bad. but somehow i also think that fucking. intensifies the hyperfixation, purely because I am also stubborn as a Bitch and if theres so much as a glimmer of hope for getting the thing to work I am GOING to do it if it so takes me several Hours. difficulty fuels determination through stubbornness and then that determination fuels the hyperfixation. but anyway yea i suck at the game and it scares me to death. unashamedly

#z talks #though i did also beat the broken vessel And the enraged. whatever that REALLY fucked up angry crystal guy was called. today #and yesterday beat the mantis lords and the soul keeper #so maybe i dont suck THAT bad #also uh. part of the Unashamed:#the REASON it scares me to death is i have. anxiety #a lot of it 👍#(medicated Technically but i dont think its quite kicking in yet and also im still on a lower dosage)#(lower than ill End at at least. the dosage theyre putting me on may be higher than standard im not sure)#(i wouldnt be surprised. i have a Lot of anxiety)#and im not gonna sit here and bash myself for my MENTAL ILLNESS thats gone untreated for literal Years so #(and also comparatively i am doing VERY very well with hk)#(historically video games are one of my Hugest sources of anxiety and the fact im even like. CONSIDERING playing something of this #difficulty level and also that is OBJECTIVELY CREEPY)#(feels like. something to be proud of almost)

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