#those two songs are the reason why I wanted to learn french as a middle schooler (I ended up taking Latin instead cos it sounded cooler)

[imintobones]

I still find it hilarious that Indila singlehandedly managed to have the entire black butler fandom in a chokehold with just two songs

[historic-old-guard-lover]

Historically Booker’s native language would be Occitan and not French . He would also probably deeply resent standard / Parisian French since the government did their damnest to erase regional languages and still do it today .

Agreed! There was another post about this, but since I got an ask (I love you, anon) I’ll elaborate. Buckle up for a primer on the evolution of the French language with a brief aside for troubadours, traveling musician-poets you wish were still a career option. No, being a rock star is not quite the same.

In the early medieval period (as early as ~900CE), the country we now call France had a language divide between the northern and southern regions. In the north, they spoke langues d'oïl which is what eventually became modern standard French. In the south, they spoke Occitan or lenga d'òc and a modern form of this language is known as Provençal. Looking at the regional sub-dialects, the more northern Occitan begins to sound like a langue d’oil and the more southern dialects begin to sound like Spanish.

As I touched upon in a previous post, this is because they all share similar roots as a romance language. Even though modern standard French is a langue d’oil, occitan managed to sneak a few things into the language. If you’ve learned French as a second language, you’ll know that when you respond yes (oui) to a negative question (you don’t like cheese? / tu n’aimes pas le fromage?) that you use a different yes (si). This is a skeleton of Occitan! 

The why of the invention of “standard French” is, as most “standard” things are, a detour into nationalism. In 1635, Cardinal Richelieu (under Louis XIII) founded the Académie Française (French Academy) which was tasked with standardizing the French language so that it could be exported to the rest of Europe and used to gain further prestige of the role of French philosophers during the Enlightenment. During the French Revolution, it was disregarded, but Napoleon Bonaparte restored it as part of the Institut de France (Institute of France) in 1803. To this day, the Académie is tasked with publishing the French dictionary and inventing new words for things such as “e-mails” so that the French needn’t stoop to using English loan-words.

Another part of this was the Toubon Law (August 1994) which required French (the standard French from the Académie) to be used in all official documents and advertising. It required all advertising to use French and even set a certain percentage of music on the radio that must be French. This law was literally the government going “let’s make the French french again.” If a school doesn’t instruct in French (modern, standard French of course), then they can’t receive government funds. The only exception is Breton-language schools (Breton is as north as it gets and is a langue d’oil so it still helps crush Occitan).

Since the previous paragraph probably made you mad as heck, let me give you some irony to laugh at: some French people refer to this as the loi Allgood (“law” Allgood). To explain this joke, it helps to know that Toubon is the last name of the Minister of Culture at the time the law was passed. If you break down his last name, it sounds like “tout bon” in French which translates to “all good.” People took this law saying make everything French, goddammit and replied, sure thing Minister All-Good. I love it.

Now, for the troubadours! I learned standard modern French in high school, but at university I came across Occitan because of those romantic poets. I’ll put this aside below the break so you can continue on with your day if for some reason you’re not interested in medieval French rock star-poets...

Let me begin by quoting the Wikipedia definition:

A troubadour was a composer and performer of Old Occitan lyric poetry during the High Middle Ages (1100–1350). Since the word troubadour is etymologically masculine, a female troubadour is usually called a trobairitz.

Right away you may notice a few things: 1) they wrote and sang in Occitan; 2) it was an equal-opportunity field (though it was rare for a woman to be one). The first Troubadours were mostly noblemen, but later ones could come from any social class. Yes, you read that correctly: egalitarian travelling poets! If that doesn’t sell you on these performers, I don’t know what will. The troubadours spread their tradition throughout Europe and the only thing that could stop them was the Black Plague.

As you’d expect, they mostly sang about love. A lot of their poems were about courtly love and chivalry, but they could also get bawdy. The especially good performers would be sought after by courts like famous painters. Troubadours are essentially the apex bards: romantic, witty, charming, talented, and able to make serious bank.

To finish this, I will leave you with one of the bawdiest troubadour poems I know of, Farai un vers, pos mi somelh (The Ladies with the Cat) by Guillem de Peiteus. It’s essentially the story of a dude who has sex with these women who pick up a knight on a pilgrimage (though it plays with reality and this guy’s fantasies). I’ll include it in the original Occitan, and then a translation by Robert Kehew (I believe), verse-by-verse. Forgive me for my commentary in between, but I just want you to understand how freaking clever this poem is!

Farei un vers, pos mi somelh Em vauc e m’estauc al solelh. Domnas i a de mal conselh,    E sai dir cals: Cellas c’amor de cavalier    Tornon a mals.

While sound asleep I’ll walk along In sunshine, making up my song. Some ladies get the rules all wrong;    I’ll tell you who: The ones that turn a knight’s love down    And scorn it, too.

The singer is establishing himself as a troubadour. The protagonist is dreaming, so we should be careful about what is real and imagined. He’s also invoking the trope of the philandering knight constantly falling in love and breaking his heart.

Domna fai gran pechat mortal Qe no ama cavalier leal; Mas si es monge o clergal,    Non a raizo: Per dreg la deuri’hom cremar    Ab un tezo.

Grave mortal sins such ladies make Who won’t make love for a knight’s sake; And they’re far worse, the ones who’ll take    A monk or priest-- They ought to get burned at the stake    At the very least.

The Middle Ages were not at all chaste; yes, monks and priests were having sex. This isn’t as sexist as it may come across on a first reading however. He’s not saying women shouldn’t have sex (he’s actually saying that it’s a sin not to being having sex), he’s just upset that women who are clearly willing to have sex are turning *him* down. He’s not going to get any awards for feminist of the year, but he’s not the worst. I’m sure this would rouse cheers from a tavern.

En Alvernhe, part Lemozi, M’en aniey totz sols a tapi: Trobei la moller d’en Guari    E d’en Bernart; Saluderon mi simplamentz    Per sant Launart.

Down in Auvergne, past Limousin, Out wandering on the sly I ran Into the wives of Sir Guarin    And Sir Bernard; They spoke a poper welcome then    By St. Leonard.

These are recognizable locations along a pilgrimage route. There’s a good chance that these names are replaceable (Bernard can be replaced with any last name that rhymes with a saint) and this song could be used to goad the audience. And no, he hasn’t had sex with these ladies yet. They’re just saying hello (for now).

La unam diz en son latin: “E Dieus vos salf, don pelerin; Mout mi semblatz de bel aizin,    Mon escient; Mas trop vezem anar pel mon    De folla gent.”

One said in her dialect, “Sir Pilgrim, may the Lord protect Men so sweet-manned, so correct,    With such fine ways; This whole world’s full of lunatics    And rogues, these days.”

I think most would agree that this is happening in the knight’s sex-dream because she’s just sweet talking him. The awesome part is that the “dialect” reflects the singer actually adopting a Northern French language (they’re mutually intelligible). Guillem didn’t have to go that hardcore, but he did.

Ar auzires qu’ai respondut; Anc no li diz bat ni but, Ni fer ni fust no ai mentaugut,    Mas sol aitan: “Barbariol, babariol,    Babarian.”

For my reply--I’ll swear to you I didn’t tell them Bah or Boo, I answered nothing false of true;    I just said, then, “Babario, babariew,    Babarian.”

This guy just mocks their accents as a reply. Wildin’.

So diz n’Agnes a n’Ermessen: “Trobat avem que anam queren. Sor, per amor Deu, l’alberguem,    Qe ben es mutz, E ja per lui nostre conselh    Non er saubutz.”

So Agnes said to Ermaline, “Let’s take him home, quick; don’t waste time. He’s just the thing we’d hoped to find:    Mute as a stone. No matter what we’ve got in mind,    It won’t get known.”

In this stanza we see two repeats and a new thing. First, the names are easy to replace (Agnes doesn’t even have to rhyme with anything) so that this can be done to call out a specific woman’s name. Second, the language skills are being flaunted again as this Occitan-speaker is just casually showcasing that he can sing about sex in other languages too, thankyouverymuch. Lastly, this is WOMEN voicing their desire, not men. The man is silent, they think he’s incapable of speech. This is two women in a poem/song getting to steer the story how they please. Stepping back, this is a guy’s sex-dream so you could argue he’s just got a kink for dominant women, but regardless that’s a pretty cool way to turn masculinity on its head.

La unam pres sotz son mantel Menet m’en sa cambra, al fornel. Sapchatz qu’a mi fo bon a bel,    El focs fo bos, Et eu calfei me volentiers    Als gros carbos.

Under her cloak, one let me hide; We slipped up to her room’s fireside. By now I thought one could abide    To play this role-- Right willingly I warmed myself    At their live coals.

Yes, this dude is saying he’s more than happy to let the women take charge. Don’t kink-shame him.

A manjar mi deron capos, E sapchatz agui mais de dos, E noi ac cog ni cogastros,    Mas sol nos tres, El pans fo blancs el vins fo bos    El pebr’ espes.

They served fat capons for our fare-- I didn’t stop at just one pair; We had no cook or cook’s boy there,    But just us three. The bread was white, the pepper hot,    The wine flowed free.

A capon is a castrated rooster, fattened for eating. He’s being fattened (and emasculated by letting them take control) before the women get down to their  fun with him.

“Sor, aquest hom es enginhos, E laissa lo parlar per nos: Nos aportem nostre gat ros    De mantenent, Qel fara parlar az estros,    Si de renz ment.”

N’Agnes anet per l’enujos, E fo granz et ac loncz guinhos: E eu, can lo vi entre nos,    Aig n’espavent, Q’a pauc non perdei la valor    E l’ardiment.

“Wait, sister, this could be a fake; He might play dumb just for our sake. See if our big red cat’s awake    And fetch him, quick. Right here’s one silence we should break    If it’s a trick.”

So Agnes brought that wicked beast, Mustachioed, huge, and full of yeast; To see him sitting at our feast--    Seemed less than good; I very nearly lost my nerve    And hardihood.

So yes, he’s joking about almost loosing his boner and there’s that language play again. The big part of the ending, however, is the imagery of the red cat. Cats are typically associated with women, and the color red tempts the mind into thinking of it as female passion or some kind of prowling sexuality (with undertones of evil). The subtext here is that they’re going to test him by letting this cat scratch him up to see if he’ll cry out. If he can keep his mouth shut and allow the womens’ passions, he can stay. If he can’t, he’s out. Ultimately, I’m going to say that this poem is subtly for women’s empowerment. Go scratch up your knights, ladies.

[acciocriativity]

Helpless||Harry Potter

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Summary: You are one of the students of the Beauxbatons commission and like the others you are determined to win the Triwizard Tournament but instead of the Goblet of Fire, you ended this season at Hogwarts with something better . 

Word Count: 2,0 k  

N / A: This story is based on the Helpless of the musical Hamilton and if you want, I recommend listening to the song along with the lyrics.

Part II 

Ooh, I do, I do, I do, I do (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey)

Hey! Ooh, I do, I do, I do, I do (Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey)

 I have come to be known for some characteristics over the years. For most of my colleagues, determination and patience, but for my family and especially my sister, I was always going to be a hopeless romantic. 

But then we heard about the Tournament and I would have to concentrate fully if my name came out of the Goblet of Fire, so I decided to leave this side of me in France. But that change did not last more than a few hours. 

Boy, you got me helpless

Look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit

 We were all sitting at the Ravenclaw table while the director finished announcing the Triwizard Tournament formalities and I couldn't be paying any less attention. From the moment I entered that room, a pair of bright brown eyes caught my eye. I couldn't help noticing the incredible amount of redheads on one table, but only one of them left me with a different feeling that I didn't know until now. 

Of course, I didn't spend much time looking. My goal here is very specific, I would not have time for distractions as my name could be called up tomorrow. 

- Of course, to travel to a swamp on the other side of the world, you're going to have to give up putting your name in the cup, right? - my sister asked in an irritated tone of voice and I had no idea why or what she was saying.

- Oh sure, I think it's a great idea, sis - I replied with a smile as I looked back at the director, but he was no longer standing - has he finished? Has he talked about the Yule Ball too?? - I asked, looking back at the older one. 

- Yes, why are you acting like this? Eat a little, I think the trip didn't do you much good - she replied with a worried tone, leaving the anger aside. 

I agreed to a nod and concentrated on the French food that had been kindly prepared for our arrival, but my eyes kept looking back at the table where he was one last time. 

I'm helpless

Down for the count, and I'm drownin 'in' on

 The next day, during the morning there was a circle of students around the Goblet of Fire but as soon as we arrived, they made room and then each one of us put the paper with our name in there. I chose to be the last in line, because I was in no hurry and for a single reason. He was there again. 

The same eyes, but now I could see more closely and without having to worry because it was not in my direction that they were. The boy was having a lively conversation with some other students and his own twin. 

After my turn passed, I walked over to where a friend was standing because I also wanted to see the rest of the competition, that's not exactly what happened. 

I admit it was a funny scene to see the two of them being thrown two meters out of that circle but at the same time, I was a little worried. 

I have never been the type to try and grab the spotlight

We were at a revel with some rebels on a hot night

 After a few months, we were finally at that ball that promised to be one of the best events of the year and perhaps the decade at Hogwarts. A lot of things changed in the meantime, the first was that I wouldn’t be the champion but I was vehemently rooting for Fleur, the second thing is that a minor had entered the competition and that turned this castle upside down and finally, I had managed to get close to that redhead. To be fair, me and Alexia. We both agreed that only an idiot would voluntarily sign up as a minor, this caught the attention of Harry Potter's friends and himself. 

In fact I learned his name, it's George, it's easy to tell when I can see his face. From the back, I don't have much of a guarantee and it's hard to see them standing still somewhere, so it's even more difficult for me that way. 

Laughin 'at my sister as she's dazzling the room

Then you walked in and my heart went, "Boom!"

 I had been invited by some boys before accepting to come with a student from Durmstrang, I confess that I hoped to be invited by George but I preferred not to risk waiting. 

I looked for my sister with my eyes and it was not difficult to find her, she was dancing with her own partner in the middle of the dance floor, impossible not to notice. They were even a beautiful couple, but I knew she was interested in someone else, I just didn't know who. Just as I hadn't told her about my feelings yet. 

My attention changed completely when I saw the door to the Great Hall open and the unaccompanied Weasley twins came in. My heart stopped for a second and I could feel it beat faster, some questions crossed my mind. I hadn't seen them before, did they come alone? Hope had returned. 

Tryin 'to catch your eye from the side of the ballroom

Everybody's dancin' and the band's top volume

 The slow song was over but I only noticed it when I saw the girl in front of me and then I smiled, trying not to lose sight of George but didn't go like that, since I was on the other side of the dance floor. 

- You were having fun out there, weren’t you?? - I asked with a smile, giving up looking over her shoulder, so I just focused on her face. 

- Yes, and where is your partner? You should be having fun too - she replied leaning against the wall beside me. 

- He said he was going to talk to his friends but so far he hasn't returned - I couldn't hide my indifference, because I never had to hide anything with her.  

Grind to the rhythm as we wine and dine

Grab my sister and whisper: Yo, this one's mine

- I know he wasn't your first choice, so who is it? I’m willing to know - his gaze left me and scanned the party full of people, looking for who could be right for me. 

- I wanted to make sure he was interested in me before I told you. It's George, from the first moment we arrived here for the first time - I didn't try to hide my smile or my passionate look when I finally found the redhead again. 

My sister made her way across the room to you (ooh)

And I got nervous thinking

"What's she gonna do?" (Ooh)

 In a moment, she was beside me with an expression I didn't recognize and a second later the brunette was walking towards the other side of the dancefloor. 

- Alexia, what are you going to do… - I didn't even try to speak out loud, because the music was incredibly loud for anyone but me to hear. 

To my horror, she walked towards the Weasleys and I

paralyzed. One of my sister's characteristics comes down to doing basically everything for me, I already knew that nothing bad could be in her intentions but that didn't relieve my nervousness. 

She grabs you by the arm

I'm thinkin ', "I'm through" (ooh)

Then you look back at me

And suddenly I'm helpless

 I couldn't look away even though I looked crazy to those outside, so the two stepped aside a few meters and I could hear my heartbeat increasing by the second. 

Would I like to be able to hear them? Certainly, but before I could think better about it. He looked directly at me. 

Oh, look at those eyes (look into your eyes)

And the sky's the limit

I'm helpless (I know)

Down for the count and I'm drownin '

Helpless (I am so into you)

 Few things in life have left me so nervous as that moment when George Weasley was walking towards me, with that smile on his face, the kind of smile I hadn't seen yet but perfectly matched his features. 

She accompanied him halfway and winked at me before returning to the dancefloor. I didn't know what to expect but I would thank her forever, if that was what my hopeless heart was telling me. 

Look into your eyes (I am so into you)

And the sky's the limit

I'm helpless

I know I'm down for the count

And I'm drownin 'in' in

 The night ended perfectly and I almost felt like it was fate, because his partner ended up dancing with my partner. So they didn't even care for a second about being "abandoned", not that I was going to let this opportunity just slip through my fingers. 

He was cute and kind, we danced and talked a little bit alone before going back to our friends. 

But this time it was different because we were never so close to each other, I couldn't help but notice his arm around my shoulder, making me stay even closer to him. 

That was my signal, the signal that this night meant something more to him too. 

One week later

I'm writin 'a letter nightly

Now my life gets better, every letter that you write me

 A week later, I had come to Paris with Ale to spend the Christmas holiday with our parents, but it didn't mean that we would lose contact. At that point it was past midnight when I was replying the letter I just received. 

The owl that brought it was barely able to flap its wings when it arrived here and as it was freezing outside, I left it in the cage with mine to rest. She drank some water and practically passed out, poor thing. 

- As I was saying, he really cares about you. Who wouldn't want someone like that? - she said after reading the letter I received. 

- You will find one of these soon, there is a whole group of boys waiting for the chance of their lives to show you that - I replied with a smile while thinking of the right words to answer, everything had to be extremely perfect.  

Laughin 'at my sister 'cause she wants to form a harem

I'm just sayin ', if you really loved me, you would share him

Ha!

- Yes, but still, it is not enough - she replied pouting but then smiled as if an idea had crossed her mind - we shared everything, why not that too? - She completed folding the letter and I just laughed. 

- That's the only thing we can't share in this life and you're too jealous to share someone - I replied laughing even more at the expression she made. 

- I'm going to sleep, just don't take too long to answer this letter, ok? Tomorrow we will all go out together, in case your little head has forgotten - she gave me one last hug before leaving, but I noticed that the light in her room was on for a while longer.

 Many other things happened afterwards, but my hand is hurting and my ink is running out, so I'll leave the rest for later, ok? I promise don't keep you waiting to know what's happens next. See you tomorrow, dear diary. 

Harry Potter Masterlist

[dontasktheradiodemon]

King Cake (2/12/2021)

Alastor sends a hostage letter to Sir Pentious @hiss-and-vinegar​ letting him know that his king cake is ready. Sir Pentious boldly tracks down Alastor at his secret lair (the hotel he hangs out at every single day) to retrieve the hostage cake.

They hang out in the kitchen, chat, and hatch a dastardly plot to break into another ring of Hell and steal scrap metal.

And there’s an exciting surprise at the end!! You should read it! It’s exciting!!!

Alastor

There's a pompous trumpet fanfare out of nowhere to call attention to a small portal opening up in midair, just in time for a folded paper to drop through.

Unfolded, there's a Polaroid of a chocolaty-looking Bundt cake with careful stripes of gold colored sugar, with the tip of a knife looming threateningly over the innocent cake. The polaroid is paper clipped to a letter made of words cut and pasted from a newspaper, reading: "meet me tonight or the cake gets it !"

The letter is signed with Alastor's KTRD stamp, which begs the question of why he took the time to cut up a newspaper rather than just write the letter himself.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious knows exactly why Alastor did it this way. Because he's EXTRA. Just like Pentious is. In fact, when Penny reads the letter, he's SNICKERING to himself.... until it's a FULL BLOWN CACKLE!

Receiving a letter? Excellent. RECEIVING A RANSOM NOTE??? HAHAAAAA!!! He LOVES IT. Their humor is based on PACKAGED BOMBS, after all. Sir Pentious slithers over to his planner, and begins jotting the information down. Just in case!!! You never know if you'll get distracted. Hee hee.

Alright Alastor, he's going to go take a bath and make sure he's all ready for tonight.

Alastor

Alastor, in all his vast wisdom, totally neglected the most important part of a hostage letter: a time and place for the hostage exchange to take place. He sort of thought that Sir Pentious would message him to arrange a pickup. Someday he'll learn not to assume anything.

At any rate, since he doesn't hear from Sir Pentious, he figures maybe he hasn't seen the letter yet or else doesn't have time to pick up the hostage tonight. If he doesn't hear from Sir Pentious by midnight Alastor will message him to make sure he got the note and that he didn't misinterpret it as a real threat instead of a joke, but in the meantime he distracts himself with hotel business and his other Mardi Gras plans.

Sir Pentious

Yep, it never even dawned on Sir Pentious to just... message him. Likely that meant to meet at the Hotel! Isn't that where Alastor often hung out anyway? It was just easier to meet there anyway, with its strange dimensional ways.

When the time comes, he's slithering into the lobby, still wearing his usual outfit. Should he have dressed up? WELL, there was nothing about dressing up so... Anyway here he is, tongue flicking and all. Slimther slimther.

Alastor

It's not going to be hard to find Alastor—just follow the sound of accordions and loud French singing. He's been playing almost nothing but this song for over a week. Seriously, he's got a dozen different versions of this song.

He's taken over the hotel lounge with various sewing junk: colorful fringes made of scrap fabric, scissors, half-hemmed squares of fabric. At the moment, he's attaching strings of pearls to a fancy-looking dark blue-green coat.

Sir Pentious

Oh! Look at THAT! His eyes widen, ALL of them, and he *beams*, all of his sharp yellow teeth gleaming. A party! Le Carnaval est commencé! He's going to slither in more fully, as he takes in a *deep breath*.....

"*JOYEUX CARNAVAL, MON AMI!!!*" Yes, nothing like screaming during festivities.

Alastor

Alastor starts and jumps out of his seat—oh, Sir Pentious is *here*—and hollers back, "Joyeux carnival!" Why is he hollering, they're in the same room. He tosses down his project and prances across the room to Sir Pentious, half dancing to his music before he finally stops it so they can talk properly. "Look at you, tracking me down in my secret lair—some hostage-taker I am! That'll teach me to send ransom notes."

Sir Pentious

"WELL, YOU COULD BE BETTER AT IT IF YOU INCLUDED A MEETING PLACE AND A MORE APPROXIMATE *TIME*, BUT ALL YOU SSSAID WAS MEET YOU AT MIDNIGHT! WHERE ELSE WOULD I CONCLUDE TO GO?" He lids his eyes, smirking, "ROSIE'SSSS? I THINK NOT!"

They can tease each other about that. *It's allowed.* He straightens his posture and gestures about, "YOU'VE DONE A VERY GOOD JOB DECORATING! BUT I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED AS MUCH FROM A SHOWMAN SSSUCH AS YOURSSSSELF!"

Alastor

"Well—! I thought we were going to arrange a time and place. I didn't want to say 'let's meet at so-and-so,' I didn't know what your availability was. Say, what kind of a victim of a terrifying kidnapping doesn't go and *ask* when and where to meet for an exchange?" Tisk tisk.

He surveys his mess. "Oh, yes—I'm not finished. Most of this decoration is for *me*, believe it or not!" He picks up a battered leather coat, onto one side of which he's messily sewn about half of the colorful fringes that are scattered around the room; and then tosses it back down. "I always start preparing too late, I never figure out what I'm doing for Mardi Gras until the last minute!"

There's a ding like an elevator arriving. "Ah! But you're not here for costumes, you're here for a cake!"

Sir Pentious

.... OH it's for a COSTUME? And here Sir Pentious thought Alastor was decorating.... He kind of looks sheepish a moment, then clears his throat. The reminder of cake has him smiling again.

"YES!! I ENJOYED THE PHOTOGRAPH VERY MUCH, IT LOOKSSS TASTY. I AM EAGER TO TRY IT."

Alastor

"Then by all means!" He leads Sir Pentious toward the kitchen.

"Do you want to try it here? Hard to play the whole king cake game without enough participants to eat the whole thing at once, but! There's no reason you can't eat it bit by bit, really."

Sir Pentious

.... He makes a face......................

"I DON'T WANT TO *SHARE* MY CAKE....." Squint, "I WILL EAT IT WITH *YOU*, BUT IT'SSS MY CAKE!" A real gentleman, truly.

Alastor

"All right! It might take you a few days to find the winning slice, then. But hey! That guarantees you'll be the one to get it!" It's not the traditional way to play, but they're celebrating a Catholic holiday in Hell, who gives a fuck about tradition.

Sir Pentious

Who gives a FUCK indeed. He purrs, and gives Alastor's shoulder a *squeeze.*

"I IMAGINE IT MUSSST HAVE BEEN DIFFICULT TO MATCH MY SPECIFICATIONSSS, BUT YOU WOULD BE THE MAN TO DO IT!"

Alastor

He leans into the squeeze and beams at the praise. "I worked it out! It *was* a challenge, but I'm proud of the results! Just don't eat the cake in the dark."

Sir Pentious

Blink.

"WHY? THAT SSSOUNDSSS OMINOUSS."

Alastor

"What, do you want me to ruin the surprise?" The sweetest, most innocent smile.

He manages to maintain it for a couple of seconds before he cracks and laughs at himself. "Ha! No, I'm kidding, I haven't done anything to it, there's nothing you need to worry about—but you *do* need to eat it with the lights on."

Sir Pentious

He makes a RATTLING sound, face VERY close to Alastor's before he pulls back, "YOU GOT MY HOPESSS UP FOR SSSOMETHING, ALASSSTOR! BUT A TASSSSTY TREAT WILL HAVE TO DO. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SSSOME WITH ME? I HAVEN'T BROUGHT ANYTHING MYSELF."

Alastor

"I don't tamper with friends' food." He tilts up his chin, as if turning his nose up at the very *thought* of such a thing.

Here's the kitchen and there's the cake, under a little lid to keep it fresh; he removes the lid with a flourish. It looks like the picture. Sans the knife hanging over it. "Oh, maybe a bite or two if you don't want your whole slice, but I don't really like cake." Says the guy who's been constantly baking cakes for the last week and a half. "Anyway! It's designed to be cut into eight sections, you can see from the ridges formed by the cake pan. Take whatever slice you want."

Sir Pentious

Hmmm.... Alastor doesn't like cake! Penny squints at him.

"YOU KNOW WHY YOU DON'T LIKE CAKE? BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE TEA. IF YOU LIKED TEA, YOU'D BE MORE CULTURED." He's got the shit eating GRIN. THIS MAN IS IN A GOOD MOOD.

He takes a plate, then a slice.... What does this cake taste like? Time to take a bite and find out!

Alastor

"Oh, is that the reason! Is that why it is! That's the cause and effect chain, enjoying tea causes you to enjoy cake." He elbows Sir Pentious lightly as he passes on the way to a cabinet. "You're lucky I'm not cultured, then. It's more cake for you." He grabs a bag of homemade jerky out of a cabinet—see, he's eating something too—and plops down in a chair near Sir Pentious.

The cake is, unsurprisingly, chocolate—but with a slight citrusy flavor mixed in. Although it was clearly made in a Bundt cake pan, Alastor took the trouble to slice it in half and add an extra layer of chocolate frosting in the middle, with additional colored sugar dyed black mixed into the frosting that makes it shimmer a little.

Alastor watches intensely as Sir Pentious takes his first few bites of the cake; but he loses interest after a few seconds and monches his jerky.

Sir Pentious

Alastor losing interest in watching Pentious eat? THE NERVE!

Sir Pentious is DELIGHTED by the flavor, and he's actually humming out "Mmmm"s as he eats it, eyes closed in pleasantness.

He's doing that thing where he rubs a cheek while he chews. Yumby.

Alastor

HAHA NEVER MIND it's cute and now he's interested again. "I take it you like it!"

Sir Pentious

"I DO, YOU ALWAYSSSS FIND A WAY TO OUTDO YOURSELF. HOW DID YOU COME BY THESE INGREDIENTSSSSS? HAVE HELP SSSSECURING THEM?" He gently dabs ( <:dab:618107764211712020> ) a napkin to his mouth.

Alastor

"All box mix, actually! Chocolate and lemon. I got them at one of those upscale grocery stores where the demon nobility goes, they've got a fairly well-stocked section of mortal realm imports. It just takes a couple of substitutions from the box recipe."

Sir Pentious

"HMMMM.... BOX RECIPES, HMMM...." He's going to eat more of his slice. It is rather filling.

"WE SHOULD HAVE TEA! OR, *I* SHOULD HAVE TEA."

Alastor

On his feet! "We've got *some* running around. What kind?" He opens a cabinet and pushes aside like five varieties of coffee looking for tea behind it.

Sir Pentious

"EARL GREY." He swivels his head to watch Alastor dig around.

Alastor

“Earl Grey,” Alastor muttered. He shoved aside a half dozen boxes of herbal tea. “Ah-ha! Here we are!” He retrieved the tea triumphantly, then went looking for the other supplies they’d need.

Once he had the water heating on the stove, he plopped down next to Sir Pentious again. “What teas *do* you like? Besides Earl Grey.”

Sir Pentious

His tongue wiggles as he thinks, and he begins cutting another piece of the slice with his fork.

"ENGLISH BREAKFAST!" Prr prr prr. "HAVE YOU HAD IT? NO OF COURSE NOT. IT HAS A SWEET, ALMOST FRUITY TASTE TO IT."

Alastor

“I’ve had it! At some point. As I recall, it tasted quite a bit like tea.” He smirked. “I’m not a fan of sweetness, either.”

Sir Pentious

"BOTTOM OF THE POT, *GRAINY* BLACK COFFEE FOR YOU ONLY, EH? HOW *DO* YOU SURVIVE." Snort, "OH RIGHT! DEAD, TOO! NYAAAA HA HAAAAAAA!"

Alastor

With great dignity, Alastor said, “I drink the *highest quality* of coffee. Look at this.” He leaned back in his chair to open the cabinet and point at a coffee bag with a skull and crossbones on it. “Look at that! This is almost pure caffeine!” Studio laughter. “But seriously! I have a refined palate, and it applies as much to coffee as it does to anything else.”

Sir Pentious

"ALASSSTOR, YOU EAT PEOPLE, HOW REFINED CAN IT GET? OR IS IT SSSSIMPLY SSSO BECAUSE YOU SSSAY IT ISS?"

Alastor

“I don’t eat people because I have *low standards.* If I had low standards, I’d be willing to choke down whatever hellish fauna’s ground-up offal is used to make the patties in fast food joints.” He sticks out his tongue, bleh. “I eat people because my standards are *high.* The simple fact is that quality ingredients are hard to get in Hell, and meat is no exception! Hell’s native game is *incredibly* difficult to hunt—and not particularly delectable, at that. Imported meat is expensive, rare, and often spoiled when you get it from the long trip to Hell. On the other hand, sinner meat is flavorful, *much* easier to hunt, self-replenishing, and comes in varieties that taste very similar to familiar mortal domesticated animals. I’ve *discussed* it on my *blog.*” He says this all self-importantly.

Sir Pentious

HEE HEEEEEE! He's giggling to himself while Alastor goes on his rant. It IS very informative, and he's certain he's read that before.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! THOUGH ONLY IN HELL COULD IT BE ARGUED IN THAT MANNER! CANNIBALS ARE NOT WELL REGARDED IN THE LIVING WORLD."

Alastor

“Well of course not, cannibals in the living world kill people! Cannibals in Hell only *inconvenience* people.” He started counting off on his fingers: “Now, granted, almost all the premortem cannibals I’ve talked to have been Americans—that’s what you’ve got in the area—but generally they were eating people for one of four reasons: starvation; hatred; a fetish; or Catholicism.” Studio laughter. “That’s a communion joke for you—but the first three reasons stand. Plenty of postmortem cannibals started for one of those three reasons, sure—but more than you’d think got into it for the culinary convenience of it! Especially if they’re buying from the butcher instead of doing the hunting themselves.”

Sir Pentious

Alastor you probably intended that communion joke to be a fly by or maybe a light chortle, but Sir Pentious was also a catholic, and instead of just snorting, he launches into a full fledged WAAAAAH HAHAHAAAAAAA at the joke.

"*CATHOLICISM!!!!*" Look at him clap his hands together. Glee. He loves a groaner.

Alastor

He politely pauses for the uproarious laughter. A comedian is never going to complain when his audience finds his joke *more* funny than he expected them to—especially if he’s performing in front of his favorite audience.

Sir Pentious

Don't mind him, wiping tears from his eyes at that one. Fuck catholics!

"APOLOGIESSS, YOU WERE SSSAYING?"

Alastor

“Oh... I didn’t have anything to add to the point. Just the differences between antemortem and postmortem cannibalism.” A shrug.

He takes advantage of the slight lull in the conversation to hover over a teapot and the box of Earl Grey to set in front of Sir Pentious. Here, dump your own tea in, Alastor sucks at tea prep.

Sir Pentious

He's going to do just that, humming as he does. None of that 10 second steeping!!! DISGUSTING..

Once the bags are in, be gets back to finishing off his slice. No prizes in that one!

Alastor

And Alastor returns to his jerky. Ah, a moment of peaceful, companionable silence—haha just kidding. When it’s obvious neither of them is about to say something else, Alastor starts playing a peppy march.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious is *happy* for it, though he attempts to change the channel by flicking Al's ear tuft.

Alastor

That’s not a dial, but he gets what Sir Pentious is attempting to do. The music switches from a march to the Mysterious Axman’s Jazz.

Sir Pentious

PREFERABLE.

Sir Pentious purrs, and once the tea has brewed long enough, he's going to pour himself a cup.

And then DIP some cake in it, HEE HOO we're living wildly.

Alastor

"I see why a tea-drinking man of *culture* also eats cake. So they go together, do they?”

Sir Pentious

"OH, SHUT UP, BEAN GUZZLER." Says the Leaf Drinker. He's laughing.

Alastor

“Oh, am I the one here who consumes beans! Where do you think chocolate comes from?” He’s laughing too.

Sir Pentious

"*COFFEE* BEAN GUZZLER!!! BUT, AH, TOUCHE."

He's done eating cake for now, and he's sipping the rest of the tea. He can handle the bits of crumb, he did this to himself.

"SSSO AFTER THISSSS, BACK TO YOUR COSTUME MAKING?"

Alastor

A long, *long* tired sigh. “Probably. I’ve only got—it’s still Friday, right?” He tilts his head, as if he’s *listening* for the time. “Yes, Friday—so, two days until the ball that one costume’s for. And the fancier costume, at that. Although I might need a break, my productivity is plummeting.”

Sir Pentious

Tongue flick.

"OHHH, DON'T YOU WISH YOU WERE A SNAKE LIKE ME? MY MIND CONSTANTLY IN A STATE OF *FLUX* OVER IDEAS AND INSSSSSPIRATION!" HEEHOOHEE

Alastor

“Ideas, I’ve got. It’s the inspiration I’m missing. Inspiration and patience for the repetitive bits. I’ve been sewing pearls for *days.*” He laces his fingers to stretch his poor aching hands and mutters, “I should delegate this.”

A bright smile! “Is that your way of subtly hinting that you’ve got some recent inspiration you’re dying to share, or are you going to disappoint me?”

Sir Pentious

Oh, he HAS inspiration alright. He leans in closer, his Pentious Breath right in Al's face.

"YESSS, INDEED. YOU SSEEE, I'VE COME INTO A SSSPOT OF *KNOWLEDGE.* I'VE HEARD THAT LOO LOO LAND, YOU KNOW, THE AMUSEMENT PARK IN THE GREED RING? IT'SSS BEEN BLOWN TO SSSMITHEREENSSS. LOTSSS OF METAL JUSSST FOR THE *TAKING.* WHILE I HAVE IDEASSS, I DON'T HAVE MUCH TERRITORY AND ACCESS TO METALSSS IN HELL." He sits back, "ALASSS, I'VE NO WAY TO *GET* TO THE DAMN PLACE. NOT ENOUGH POLITICAL SSSWAY, AS IT WERE. NOT SSSINCE I ARRIVED IN HELL, ANYWAY."

Alastor

Smells like tea and cake.

Alastor blinks in surprise. "Lucifer's park?" Who would fuck with Lucifer's park—? "Oh, no—Greed ring. The knock off."

That sounds like a solvable problem. Alastor leans forward, chin propped up in his hand, grinning wider. "Well, I wouldn't be much of a dancer if I didn't have sway!"

His mind is already working—what's an amusement park going to have in it? Roller coasters? Elaborate moving games? Lots of good mechanical bits and bobs, no doubt. And this Sir Pentious isn't the only one Alastor knows who'd benefit from those supplies. "If I get you in there, I get to salvage anything *you* don't want. Sound fair?"

Sir Pentious

"WELL, YESSS, NOT LYU LYU LAND. LOO LOO LAND!"

HMMMM? He leans closer. Their faces could be TOUCHING.

"AND WHAT NEED HAVE YOU FOR SSSSSCRAP, ALASSSTOR?"

Alastor

“*Lyu Lyu.*” Wheeze. Is that how it’s pronounced? “*I* don’t need it. But the other you that’s been around lately does, and I promised I’d help him get fresh materials at a discount. No better discount than free!”

Their faces ARE touching. Alastor closes the last little distance to squish their cheeks together and flings an arm around Sir Pentious’s shoulders. “Now, this is your little expedition—you’re putting in the research and the labor, so of course you get first pick, I’m not going to ask you to hand over any of the good stuff to an alternate who isn’t even coming along. But! Anything you *don’t* want, I don’t see any harm in hauling it over to him and asking whether he can make use of it!”

Sir Pentious

Ah, the CHEEK SMOOSH. Cheeks can smoosh other cheeks!!! Sir Pentious puts his own arm around Alastor, and Grins wide.

"AH, WHAT A *GOOD SSSSAMARITAN* YOU ARE, ALASSSTOR!" Hee hoo. His tongue flicks in thought..... No maybe don't tease him right now.

"VERY WELL, THEN! WHATEVER I DON'T WANT, YOU CAN HAVE! ANOTHER QUESTION IS METHOD OF *RETRIEVAL.* ARE WE RELYING ON YOUR FRIEND HENTAI FOR THAT?"

Alastor

“You know me! Utterly selfless! The most helpful man you’ll meet!” He knows he’s left himself wide open for teasing. He’s very grateful Sir Pentious didn’t take the opportunity.

“With the airship still out of commission, I suppose we’ll have to, won’t we?” He pokes Sir Pentious, “That’ll be the other way you pay me—bring snacks for me. Working with Hentai is hungry work.”

Sir Pentious

SNORT.

"WHAT TO BRING FOR THE MAN WHO HATES EVERYTHING! NO SWEETS, NO TEA! ONLY FISTFULS OF MEAT!"

Alastor

A scandalized hand over his heart. “Sweet and tea are the *only* things I hate! Have you ever seen me turn down one of your sandwiches? *Really,* now.” He pokes Sir Pentious’s arm. “Are you just having fun at my expense, or do you really think my tastes are that limited?”

Sir Pentious

"WHY *ALASSSTOR*, WHEN HAVE I *EVER* HAD FUN AT YOUR EXPENSE?" He's saying it ever so dramatically, very sarcastic as he even winks AND nudges him.

"SSSSANDWICHESSS IT ISSSS. SSSTILL NO ALCOHOL, MMM?"

Alastor

The most *dramatic* eye roll. He arches his brows and tilts his head to get more eye rolling in.

“Oh, social drinks are fine right now—but I don’t think alcohol mixes well with moving heavy metal or communing with eldritch deities. Maybe once our work is finished.”

Sir Pentious

He's beaming suddenly, and he gives Al a KISS on the forehead before backing up.

"A *DEAL!* ALTHOUGH, I MAY REFRAIN FROM ALCOHOL AS WELL. PERHAPSSSS GINGEMBRE INSSSTEAD!" GOLLY he's in a good mood. Look at him smiling!

Alastor

Hold on, give Alastor a second, fireworks are going off behind his forehead and he’s trying to enjoy the show.

“What is that, some kind of ginger ale?” His brain translates *gingembre* as plain old *ginger,* and he doubts Sir Pentious is suggesting that a chunk of root is an adequate substitute for alcohol. “Sure! We can drink while we work that way.”

Sir Pentious

Prrr prrr.

"YESSS, GINGER ALE! I HAVE A REFRIGERATOR ABOARD THE AIRSHIP, KEEPSSSS THEM PRACTICALLY *FROZEN.* YOUR LIPSSS WILL SSSTICK TO THE BOTTLES, NYA HA HAAAAAAA!"

He's finished off his tea! Pours himself another cup...

Alastor

Static static.

“Now that sounds like a trap! I guess the only way to find out for sure is to try one, isn’t it!”

He gives Sir Pentious enough space to drink his tea—but, as long as he’s already over here, decides to keep leaning their shoulders together.

Sir Pentious

He's fine with this, he's still purring in that terrifying way. Habby.

"SSSO WHO ARE YOU DANCING WITH TO GET US INTO THE GREED RING, ALASSSTOR?"

Alastor

“Oh, I’ve got a few people I can call on! I hear Paimon’s been looking for a way to spite Mammon; Stolas is usually pretty lax with sinners, he’s easy to bargain with; perhaps Tommy, he owes me one... I’ll narrow it down!”

Sir Pentious

HMM! Exciting. Sir Pentious is about to SPEAK when his phone VIBRATES against his breast. OH!

Time to grab his phone and INVESTIGATE....

Alastor

Time to lean over and EAVESDROP.

Sir Pentious

Well, he's obscured the screen enough from Alastor, but....

```Congratulations on your imminent fatherhood, Sir Pentious. Please come collect your wife at your earliest convenience. Which had better be now.```

OH. OH. GASP. JELLY EYES. All of his eyes are JELLY EYES. Look at this man, he's looking like he might COLLAPSE!

"*OHHHH* I HAVE TO *GOOOO*!"

He's STILL holding the phone but, YOU KNOW. He's going to show the screen to Alastor, listen that's his best friend he wants him to KNOW!

Alastor

*Oh!!* Alastor grabbed Sir Pentious’s arm. “*Really* this time? Not unfertilized eggs?”

Sir Pentious

"REALLY, THISSSS TIME!" *SNIRFFF.*

"WE WEREN'T SURE, BUT HILDA ISS RATHER THOROUGH...." His voice is all SQUEAKY.

"I'M GOING TO BE A DADDY!!"

Alastor

Alastor squeezed an arm around Sir Pentious’s shoulders. “Well, *congratulations!* Oh, you must be *thrilled!* How many is it?” He had to raise his voice to be audible over the cacophony of invisible party noisemakers and an old song that started singing in the background: “—*pretty baby! Won't you come and let me rock you in my cradle of love, and we'll cuddle all the time. Oh I want a lovin' baby and it might as well be you, pretty baby of mine—*”

After a good long squeeze, he let go and swatted Sir Pentious’s arm. “What are you still doing here, you’re supposed to be with your wife! Go, get! Get out of here! Take your cake!”

Sir Pentious

He BEAMS, Sir Pentious is GIGGLING. How many?

He goes red faced, raising a finger to speak, UNTIL HE'S BEING SWATTED! "OH, YESSS, AT ONCE! AT ONCE!"

He gathers up the cake! And he gives a TIP of his hat to Alastor before he's HURRIEDLY slithering out the door!

... Peeks back in. "THISSSS ISSS JUSST THE CONFIRMATION, BY THE BY! NO EGGSSS YET! OKAY, TA TA!" The door closes!!

Alastor

He waves. “Give Valera my congratulations!”

The music slowly peters out once the door closes.

... Hold on, how were there no eggs yet if Valera was already pregnant? He should have asked. Whoops.

[maisondenachtai]

I Like That (Part 3)

Title: I Like That Pairing: Erik X BlackFemale!Reader Previous Parts: Part 1, Part 2 summary: just uh....hide your purse aight? (author’s note: uh, ...so...um...it’s been a while right? very sorry about that but it’s here now and I already know how i’m ending it so that’s great. ...this part is written in erik’s pov cause that really helped me break the block i had on it. ...I hope you enjoy it. only one more part to go.) He knew he had fucked up. She wouldn’t even look at him and had scooted as close to her door as she possibly could. He mentally cursed himself and his ego. He wasn’t even sure why he had snapped at her so hard. What she said was fundamentally true and she had the right to speak on what she knew first hand, but it must have been the mixture of David, her being so mad at him, and the fact that her blow had hurt that had him acting up.

“Y/n, listen.”

“Erik, I said shut up.” She said looking down at her nails that were done in a french tip, something she had been doing since grade school. He remembered how her mom thought color was too ‘grown’ and that ‘young women should only have French tipped nails’. He remembered laughing at her nails in the car when she held them out for him to see, and then he remembered moaning as those same nails wrapped around him.

“I’m sorry, alright.” He sighed and rubbed his hand down his face.

“You’re always sorry Erik. It never helps anything. You’re a sorry ass nigga. So what?” She finally looked at him fury and sadness in her brown eyes.

He swallowed his anger at her name calling and looked out of the window to calm down, “Listen, I know you fucking hate me, and I don’t blame you. I treated you like shit in high school.”

“No, you treated me worst than shit. You dogged me, Erik. Do you know how it feels to be beaten down by the nigga you thought you were in love with? No you don’t because everybody loved you.” Her voice had raised, he could tell that she didn’t give a shit about the mixed company they were in.

“Y/n.”

“Don’t Y/n me. I’m going to say what I should have been said, Erik. You fucked me in private. Used me like a sex toy and in public I was your verbal punching bag. And you set the tone for everyone else in high school. High school was hell for me.”

“What was I supposed to do about it? I was a kid, Y/n. I really feel like you’re overestimating my influence.”

“You were supposed to stop it, not add on to it.”

“Well I’m sorry. I truly am. I wasn’t perfect back then and I’m not perfect now and all I can do now is apologize.”

She shook her head, wiping under her eyes quickly. “It was so long ago, and I haven’t thought about it in years. I stopped being your victim a long time ago Erik….it’s just this reunion has brought up so many memories.” She took a deep breath and exhaled looking at him again. “I’m sorry too. I’ve been acting like a child.”

“Yes you have.” He joked, laughing when she shot a scowl his way. “I’m kidding. I understand your anger. I really do. It’s not right how I treated you, and if any man treated my daughter like that I’d kill him with my bare hands.”

“Your daughter? You got a child?” She looked surprised.

He smirked, “What if I said I did? What would that mean?”

“That you still haven’t learned to use condoms.” She shook her head, running her hand through her hair. She looked surprised, as if that wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

He smirked to himself.“I’m kidding. No kids yet. …Ain’t found the right woman…” He looked down her seated frame, biting down on his lip as his gaze settled on her hips and the thigh that had poked out of the slit on the dress. “And the woman I want to have my babies don’t want me.”

She was pointedly ignoring his blatant staring, choosing instead to scroll through her phone. “Well maybe you’ll have luck at the reunion. Remember that girl Monica? She’s been asking the facebook group if you were coming.”

He rolled his eyes and sat back in his seat, “Don’t nobody want Monica. Her breath was stank.” She chuckled and the sound warmed his soul.

The best times he could remember in high school was of her and him chilling in his car outside of her house. She would sneak out the window because her mom didn’t allow boys in the house and honestly didn’t like him one bit but she would take the chances of being caught outside with him anyway.

They would sit and listen to the radio, singing along with their favorite songs, and roasting the bad songs. They would sling insults back and forth until they ended up not being able to speak from laughing so hard.                

In tough times, she would be a warm shoulder to lean on, saying nothing that might make him close up when he happened to cry. In reverse, he would be there times when her dad would flake on her again or forget her birthday, or when her mom was just being too restrictive.

It was those times he remembered, even more than the sex they shared, those times where she was his best friend. He missed that.

“Her breath did used to be a little tart.” She spoke back looking at him.

“A little? The girl used to exhale and burn off people’s eyebrows.”

She laughed then, fully, holding onto her stomach. “You’re mean.”

“I’m honest.” He looked out the window. They still had about twenty minutes until they made it to the reunion. “So, where did you meet David?”

She looked at him and shook her head. “Uh uh.”

“Uh uh? What do you mean uh uh?”

“You are not fixin to clown my man, okay? No. I’m not letting it happen.”

“Ain’t nobody about to clown your man. …I mean I didn’t know you liked light skinned men but-

“See you’re already clowning him.”

He shook his head, “No, I was just joking. Seriously, tell me I want to know.”

She rolled her eyes, “Well if you must know, we met at a conference in Arizona.”

“So he’s in business?”

“No, tech actually. He was at the conference networking. At the time he was trying to startup this app, Nozzle. It’s a app that-

“I know about Nozzle.” Erik actually knew Nozzle pretty well seeing as he had invested some money in the startup a while back trying to get his portfolio up.

However, he didn’t remember seeing David’s name in the business plan. “So, he’s still working with Nozzle then?”

“Nah, they ousted him. He had a completely different vision than the other two men and they decided to part ways amicably.  He’s actually working on a festival idea, kind of like a black Coachella but not like Afropunk or anything. That’s why he’s not here right now. He had a meeting to attend with some investors.”

Erik couldn’t help but smirk, “A festival?”

“Don’t even-“

“I bet its going to be lit. …Straight…Fyre.”

“I’m not talking to you anymore.” She looked out of the window folding her arms again.

“Wait, wait. I’m just kidding.” He pulled one of her arms down, so she wouldn’t close up on him again. “Seriously though, he does know a new festival right now, it’s not the move.”

She sighed, “It’s legit though and he has a good plan for it. Nothing too extravagant. I’ve been working it out with him, setting up meetings for him.”

“Setting up meetings for him? You a secretary now?”

“Nah, I’m a good girlfriend. Why shouldn’t I help him if I can?”

Erik looked at her and then shrugged, “I mean, I guess. But…just don’t put none of your money in it.” When she didn’t say anything, he sighed. “How much?”

It was her turn to rub the back of her neck, “Uh…just 50,000 dollars.”

“50,000 dollars?”

“We got a loan, so he could have the capital to start moving stuff and showing investors he wasn’t coming in empty handed.”

“Oh my god, Y/n. The whole reason you get investors is so that you don’t have to get loans like that or at least so you can pay off the damn loan. How much has he paid off.”

“10,000.”

“Oh my godddd.” Erik wanted to die. He wanted to strangle Y/n, in the most loving way, for being so stupid and then he wanted to kill David. “He’s fucking scamming you and probably everyone else he’s talked to. Why did he get ousted from Nozzle?”

“I told you because they had different visions-“

“Nah, that’s what that nigga told you.” He pulled out his phone. “Send me a picture of him.”

“Why?” Erik rolled his eyes and tried hard not to snap at her, “Don’t argue with me right now. Send me a picture.” When she pulled out her phone he sighed.

“This nigga is running your name into the ground and you probably don’t even know it.”

“He’s legit Erik.” The airdrop notification came up on his phone and he accepted it, getting a fairly clear picture of David.

“We’ll see.” He pulled up an app that allowed him to search FBI databases, search engines, wanted ads, and many more places by picture and name.

“What’s his name?”

“David Johnson.” She had moved closer trying to see what he was doing on his phone. “Are you doing a background check on him?”

“Nah, but you should have.” He hit search and the app began trying to match David’s photo and name to anything they could.

“I can’t believe this. You’re so fucking smart, Y/n. You graduated summa cum lade and you’re nearly running that firm you’re at. I can’t believe that you can’t smell a scammer from a mile away.”

“How do you know all of that?”               

                     Before he could answer his phone dinged, he smirked pressing the article that came up. David Johnson was Gregory Malcolm, the man who was caught misappropriating funds from Nozzle. Who was still wanted by authorities in California, New York, and Georgia.

“Is David’s middle name Joanne?” He started looking down at the picture of David being escorted out of a building in handcuffs.

“No…why?”

“Cause your man’s a fucking scammer.”

---------------------------------------------------------

(author’s note: just

and I hope that this part was not a total let down.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @halonahoney @scumyeol @fangirlingbookworm1 @elaindeereads @groovybbyyy  @holy-minseok  @ljstraightnochaser @chefjessypooh @sweet-epiphany85 @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @tiava143

@chaneajoyyy​ @ raysunshine78   fuckmegoodbruhh ghostfacekill-monger  mellifluousbabe  browngirldominion

(i probably didn’t tag half the people that wanted to be tagged. sorry about that!)

[kyliexc]

HOLA BITCHACHOS ! it me, mini and we out here again, FINALLY ! to everyone new, i’m excited to meet you all , love you down , scare you , and plot ! hmu on discord 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐢 🔥#0644( is better ) , but if not imma try my best to get to you ASAP ! to all my old peeps . . . . 😈 😈 😈 😈

* for stats, and the past etc , if ur curious , you can read all of kylie’s intros HERE

chicago’s very own kylie castillo  has been spotted on madison avenue , with a striking semblance to Becky G ! you may know them as @kyliebby or hitting the front page of tmz as Chicago spitfire returns with a crash . according to tmz , you just had your 22nd birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re competitive , but being confidents might help you . things that would paint a better picture of you would be acrylic nails, a lit up joint  and oversized sunglasses .

*** i haven’t rpd since we went on hiatus , soooooooooo , pray for me 😂 

* QUICK STATS !

FULL NAME: kylie valentina castillo NICKNAMES: ky, kyky, k, kybby AGE: 22 HEIGHT: 5 ft BIRTHDAY: April 15th  ZODIAC: aries HOGWARTS HOUSE: slythindor (slytherin + gryffindor) ETHNICITY: mexican NATIONALITY: american GENDER: cis female PRONOUNS: she/her ORIENTATION: bisexual RELIGION: agnostic-catholic TATTOOS: a peach on her ass, #2 tramp stamp and canon becky g tattoos

* BACKSTORY !

kylie is the first and only child of andres castillo, and third child of valentina castro. kylie’s parents had her at 20 during the time her mother lived in mexico for a year . thankfully her dad’s family were well off and could afford to take care of the child ; her parents tried making it work for about two years, her dad taking on the role even for her half brother but because of the class difference between her parents families, and the different careers, plus the stress of young kids , it didn’t work out. 

growing up, kylie lived in mexico up until she was 8, moving to LA to live with her dad’s family, but by the time she was 9 , she was bouncing between LA and CHICAGO , not really living with her parents but her family members, primarily her grandparents and uncle ( tito ) . her parents were young , and they wanted more for themselves . her dad rose to be a star soccer player in mexico , also playing for both Barcelona fc and Real Madrid fc . her mother started up a health and beauty business in Chicago called VIVA ESTHETICS  , specializing in skin care , makeup , nails , hair , etc . the company blew up with having notable clients and giving upscale service . 

needless to say , her parents gave kylie and her siblings ( mainly half , besides one ) everything they wanted materialistically , but nothing physically or emotionally . kylie didn’t even grow up with most of her siblings ( her parents bounced around a lot ) , she grew up with her cousins , whereas she’d having a couple annual meetings with her own parents and siblings .

kylie was in LA for the rest of her childhood , living in chicago just for middle school before attending 4 different high schools in a different place every year because she’d be bouncing between family ( . . . . and just getting kicked out . ) Madrid/Barcelona (gr9) , London (gr10) , Los Angeles (gr11) and Chicago (gr12)

* PERSONALITY ! 

her growing up was messy , and not consistent , but kylie has a big heart for those that have been with her since day 1 ! even when she bounced around a lot , she was always super close with her grandparents on both sides , constantly calling them , or on facetime . she even has a favourite uncle ( tito ) from her mom’s side . tito pretty much was kylie’s older brother growing up , you know , he was the teenage uncle teaching his niece to swear as a baby lol . kylie learned being bad from seeing , she’s ALWAYS been stubborn , so when someone tells her she can’t hang with the boys , or won’t steal a car - - - - you bet kylie will do what you told her she can’t , and she’ll prove it with a cake face of makeup . 

tito was a producer growing up , working with street artists and always making beats in his room . that’s where kylie got an appreciation for music . so whenever she was skipping class , she’d be in the studio , making excuses as to why she’s not in class and no one questioned her .

when she was in school , she wouldn’t listen , be that kid in the back of the class sleeping , or just not paying attention . and when she was in the halls , she’d get into SOME kind of fight , sometimes without even asking for it . 

music was the one constant for her, so while she was skipping class , kylie was producing her own music, constantly making videos and on social media promoting herself, and she was successful at 13 ! signing to a label , and being groomed by said label over the years , releasing a few eps . she gained recognition through her freestyles online and her features on songs at 18 , going on to sell arenas , win awards , and a lot of things . 

* WHAT’S GOING ON NOW . . . 

about a year ago , kylie dropped her first album , a few months after that , she kinda just disappeared from being in the public eye . this b*tch literally GHOSTED EVERYONE . she didn’t give anyone a clear reason , even her fans were confused . it’s been pretty rare to catch a photo of her , and when you do it’s weeks or months between . 

behind the scenes , she’s become a producer for her own roster of artists , creating her own minor label , a sub division of sony records , FRENCH KISS RECORDS , that no one knows she owns or is behind . she’s trying something new after being known as the spitfire . . . which she is , but she’s been chilling after dropping almost everyone . 

about a week ago, kylie dropped a teaser on her instagram for a new collaborative song , and the next day , photos of her moving back to new york were all over TMZ . . . . and that’s all folks , we’ll see what chaos this shorty createssss :) 

oh and she has a black cat named mijo , who is her child . that is all . 

[lancermylove]

My One and Only (Part 2/2)

Fandom: MLQC

Pairing: Kiro x Fem!MC (Reader)

Warning: Contains a little angst

A/N:  Part 1 can be found here. This didn’t quite turn out the way I wanted but hopefully, it’s okay. 

Word Count: 1616

———————————————

Kiro was starting to feel suffocated with so many people surrounding him, so he made his way out to the balcony. 

'What a quiet and peaceful night.' As Kiro gazed at the shimmering gems in the sky, he heard footsteps approaching him. 

"Hi, Kiro," a pair of frail arm encircled him from behind, "it has been a while since we have spoken to each other." 

He recognized the voice right away. "Hollow, what do you want? Don't touch me." The singer spoke in an annoyed voice as he pushed her arms away.

"Ouch. Kiro, why are you always so mean to me?" She said in a fake, cute voice while batting her long eyelashes. "Oh, but I know a way you will be nice."

"I will never be nice to you, no matter what." Kiro replied, trying hard to hold back his anger. He started to walk towards the tinted French doors that led into the party room, but Hollow blocked his path. 

"You should learn to listen to others when they're talking to you, especially when the most beautiful woman in the world is talking to you," cooed Hollow as she played with Kiro's shirt sleeve. "As I was saying, you should go out with me and leave MC."

"Don't take her name from your foul mouth, and I have no reason to leave her." Kiro's anger was slowly starting to get the better of him. This was not the first time Hollow had attempted to win Kiro's heart, and frankly, he was getting tired of it. 

"You need a reason? Well then, I must say your girlfriend's song is very commendable. I was very impressed when I read it." 

"How - How do you know about the song? What do you mean you read it?" Kiro snarled as he curled his fists into a tight ball. 

"Now that caught your attention, didn't it?" She snickered. 

Kiro grabbed her shoulder and shook her, "Where is that song? What did you do with it?" 

"Oh, the song is with one of my close friends, and he is so tempted to shred it to tiny pieces-" Hollow was cut off by an angered Kiro. 

"Don't you dare!" His grip on her shoulder was getting tighter and tighter. 

"Relax, Kiro. I will not do anything to the song as long as you agree to date me and leave MC," she spoke while freeing herself from Kiro's grip, "let me know your final decision by the end of tonight." 

Hollow pecked Kiro's cheek and walked away triumphantly. Kiro remained paralyzed, and all he could hear was the clicking of her heels as she vanished into the party hall. 

'This can't be.' 

'Where did Kiro disappear to?' MC had been searching for a while. She let out a deep sigh and walked out to the balcony to get some fresh air. To her surprise, Kiro was standing in the middle of the gallery, completely frozen.

"Kiro, I have been looking for you everywhere." MC marched up to him with a pout, "Why are you standing like a statue? Kiro? I am talking to you."

MC poked his cheek, but Kiro ignored her and walked to the edge of the balcony.

"Hey...what's wrong? Did something happened?" MC whispered as she approached him and hugged his arm.

"Don't touch me," Kiro said, pulling his arm from her hug. For a second, MC was shocked as she gawked at her boyfriend.

"D-Don't touch me? My dear boyfriend, are you drunk?" She furrowed her eyebrows and placed her hand on her hips, "How many times do I have to remind you to go easy on the drinks?"

"I am not your boyfriend, and I am not drunk." He replied in a sharp voice, causing MC to wince a little.

"You are not my boyfriend? You're definitely drunk." MC took hold of his arm and tugged on it, "Come on, let's get you home."

"I said, don't touch me!" Kiro yanked his arms with force, causing MC to lose her balance and fall onto the marble floor.

"Listen carefully, I am not your boyfriend, and don't dare to come close to me, ever again." Kiro's actions and words were out of character, and MC was at a complete loss of words as she could only stare at him with tears in her eyes.

"You and I are over." With those harsh words, Kiro stormed towards the party hall.

MC jumped to her feet and ran after him, grabbing hold of his shirt. "You are b-breaking up with me? Did I do something to hurt you?"

While MC was pleading for him to answer her question, Kiro was holding back the tears that were threatening to fall. He swallowed a lump in his throat and spoke in a drained voice, "You haven't done anything wrong. I am just tired of you."

Kiro freed his shirt from MC's grip and sluggishly walked into the party hall. He made his way to a quiet hallway and rested his forehead against the nearby wall.

'I am sorry, MC. I can't let Hollow destroy your prized possession. I love you very much and...I am sorry.' Kiro balled his fist and punched the wall, trying once again to hold back his tears.

"So, you abandoned her?" Hollow's taunting voice rang through Kiro's ears. "Good, now it's just you and me."

"Where is the song?" He asked in a low voice, controlling the rage pent up inside him.

"It's safely returned to her house." She said playfully, "Now let's go!"

Kiro let Hollow drag her away from the party, but little did he know that MC was watching them from the balcony.

~~~x~~~x~~~x~~~x~~~

(Narration change: MC’s POV)

Two long years had passed since my breakup with Kiro. I had tried hard to fix everything between us, but he refused to talk to me, and at one point, he even ended up blocking me. It was hard getting him out of my mind and heart, so I eventually gave in to my heart and quietly admired him from afar.

I sat in the cafe that Kiro and I often visited. 'This coffee was his favorite. Kiro...I miss you.' 

The TV was playing in the background, but for the most part, I was ignoring it until the reporter's words caught my undivided attention. 

"Now for the latest breaking news," the lady reporter blared in an excited voice, "the story about Kiro and the solo artist MC." 

'A story about me and Kiro?' I glanced at the TV screen. 'How did they even find out about that? Kiro's fans are not going to be happy.' 

"We have found out that superstar Kiro and MC had been dating two years ago. According to their close friends, they loved each other, but one day they suddenly broke up. No one knows the reason behind their breakup, but our leading investigation team has gotten their hands on valuable information. Suzuki san, please tell us what you have learned." 

I waited patiently for the reporter to finish the story while taking a sip of my hot coffee. 'They know the reason for our breakup?'

For a brief second, my mind went back to the moment on the balcony. 'You haven't done anything wrong. I am just tired of you.' 

"Our trusted source informed us that the reason behind the breakup was Hollow, the famous online celebrity." 

'Hollow? W-What is she talking about?’ My mind was rushing like crazy, making me feel dizzy. 

The field reporter continued, "Hollow was responsible for taking one of MC's composition and threatening Kiro with it. To prevent the song from getting stolen, Kiro dumped MC and began dating Hollow.”

After hearing those words, I had no idea how to react. 'Kiro wanted to save my song? How did Hollow even know about my song? What is going on?'

As I sat still, drowned in my thoughts, my eyes moved about the cafe and caught sight of a familiar figure. I arose from my seat and made my way to his table. 

His eyes were glued to the coffee cup he held tightly in his quivering hands. I quietly took a seat next to him and studied his face. Though he looked just as handsome as before, his usually bright eyes were dull, and his skin had grown pale. 

"What the reporter said - is it true?" I tried to sound serious, but my voice cracked as soon as the words left my lips. 

He didn't reply. 

"Ki-" I stopped midway, realizing that we were in a public place, "Mr. Chips, is that the real reason you left me?" 

I tenderly touched his hand, and though Kiro didn't reply, his downcast eyes told me everything I needed to know. 

"Your reason for leaving me was the song? I could have written another one. Why didn't you tell me?" I couldn't believe that he would sacrifice our relationship for my song. 

"Y-You said the song meant a lot of you. It was your first song and-" Kiro mumbled, letting his words trail off. 

My heart was in turmoil, and without thinking once, I embraced Kiro. "You meant more to me than anything." 

"Meant?" He sniffled. 

"No, Mr.Chips. Nothing is more important than you. You are my one and only love." I pecked his cheek and squeezed him tighter. 

"I am sorry, MC. Please forgive me." Kiro cooed and returned my embrace. 

"How could I not forgive you? After all, a wise man once told me that if a woman truly loves a man, then she would forgive him for the mistakes he makes."

“That man sounds smart.” Kiro chuckled before pulling me into a deep kiss. 

------------------------------------

➣ MLQC Masterlist ➣ Buy me a Ko-fi or Commission?

[xxcureangelxx]

5, 9, 10, 13, 20, 21, 24, 25, 28, 30-35, 38-42, 44-46, 50, 52, 54, 60-62, 66, 71-74, 86-91, 96, 100! 😊

okay I literally have no clue how old this is and if I'm even taking the questions from the right post but here goes I guess? 🙈

<u>5. What is your favorite Color?</u>

PURPLE

<u>9. How tall are you?</u>

about 1,70 meters or 5'7"

<u>10. What shoe size are you?</u>

size 40-41, I think that's about 8 in US sizes?

<u>13. What talents do you have?</u>

uhhh good question... not sure if it counts but I guess I'm quite good at a lot if things but can't do anything extraordinarily well?

<u>20. Are you religious?</u>

Absolutely not. Due to family history and a lot of other things I'm actually against it a lot but people can do whatever they feel like is right for them as long as they don't harm others with it.

<u>21. Have you ever been to the hospital?</u>

Yes, quite a lot actually. practically grew up in hospitals as a baby because of kidney issues, broke both my legs with 4 years old, had to revisit for tests a lot during my childhood because of the kidney issue. it calmed down afterwards until I was back in hospital last year because of my terrible mental health and I'm currently in a rehabilitation clinic for it as well.

<u>24. Baths or showers?</u>

Shower's because we don't have a bathtub

<u>25. What color socks are you wearing?</u>

currently none, I love going barefoot, but usually I wear white, gray or black. I know... I'm a bad gay.. no rainbow socks (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

<u>28. What type of music do you like?</u>

you know.... I hate this question with a passion even though I love music so I'll just throw in my yt-playlist here and everyone who's interested can look through it to get a picture xD not sorted in any way and not a conclusive list at all, I just add songs as I find them

<u>30. How many pillows do you sleep with?</u>

mostly just one at a time but I've got two different ones. one is the normal fluffy kinda pillow, the other is made of some kinda foam material and rather thin.

<u>31. What position do you usually sleep in?</u>

I'm always lying on the side! have been doing that since I was a baby too.

<u>32. How big is your house?</u>

compared to what? 🙈 I'd say decent size for 5 people to live in, would have space for 1-2 more if rooms were used differently but definitely not enough to comfortably live with 12 or even more people like my family used to. we've got like 3 proper sleeping rooms (one of which is the attic so not very nice in terms of heat and the staircase is smack in the middle of the room), a kitchen, a dining room, a big living room, a tiny bathroom that barely fits a toilet and shower, and the basement is a mix of storage, electrics and stuff, washing room/utility room and it's got another smaller room that's been turned back into a small workshop but used to be the room of my brother and later my grandmother.

<u>33. What do you typically have for breakfast?</u>

I guess this is where it shows that I'm german but we usually just eat bread (preferably whole grain) with cheese or slices of salami or ..meat sausage? is that a proper translation? 🤨 idk... it's rather simple really. on the weekend maybe buns and boiled eggs. on the occasion that I'm too tired for it or don't have enough time I eat cereals but it's not very common when I'm at work/school

<u>34. Have you ever fired a gun?</u>

No, and I don't want to

<u>35. Have you ever tried archery?</u>

Yes!! I did last year when I was in the hospital and it was super fun! was quite good at it as well, even for my first try 😤

<u>38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?</u>

I think about 3 days? if we count "barely unconscious for a few hours" as sleep that is... otherwise no clue...my memory of the bad sleepless time is quite hazy lol

<u>39. Do you have any scars?</u>

yeah, quite a few tbh. got 2 huge ones from surgeries due to my kidney issues, well they look like 2 but it's actually multiple ones since they simply cut open party of the old ones again, tiny hooman apparently have very little skin. then I got some other ones here and there from accidents, general dumbness, etc, like when I cut through my sunday morning bun and almost cut half of the tip of my finger off because my mother sharpened the knife and didn't tell me or that time as a kid I couldn't wait for my ironing pearl pictures to be done and burned myself on the hot iron, mostly stuff like that.

<u>40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?</u>

I mean.. if they're a secret... how would I know? ;) not sure if it counts that it took me months to realize I had a crush on my best friend and the feelings were reciprocated and I was too blind to see the signs?

<u>41. Are you a good liar?</u>

Nope. People actually think I'm lying more often than I lie... so.... :/

<u>42. Are you a good judge of character?</u>

I'm.. honestly not sure what this one means? like, am I able to judge what kind of character a person has after barely meeting them or smth? if so, I'm terrible at it

<u>44. Do you have a strong accent?</u>

in german? nope. in english? hmm hard to judge since I rarely hear myself speak. I think the stuff I do know how to pronounce is mostly okay but since I learned it through reading I'm simply unsure of a lot of pronunciations. 'also'.... I can not for the life of me pronouns that word no matter how many times I hear it... it's kinda become a quirk after some classmates pointed it out to me and I'm incredibly aware how terrible I say the word but.... just can't get rid of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

<u>45. What is your favorite accent?</u>

I.. actually really love the way my best friend talks? 👉👈 they're french btw. just... typical me for struggling to understand them though, already terrible at it in german too...

<u>46. What is your personality type?</u>

honestly, I don't think I can answer that. I'm big on self loathing and everything's pretty shitty so, no thanks

<u>50. Left or right handed?</u>

Right handed. but does it even count id I'm bad at doing things with that hand too? lol

<u>52. Favorite food?</u>

hmmmm tough question... not the biggest fan of food in general a lot of the time... probably Züricher Geschnetzeltes

<u>54. Are you a clean or a messy person?</u>

Definitely messy. my allergies did not like this post trying to clean and tidy up more often though. my depression does not like this post either

<u>60. Do you talk to yourself?</u>

sometimes. quite a bit when watching movies or if I mess stuff up

<u>61. Do you sing to yourself?</u>

barely. got a lot of bad experiences with that so i keep my singing to a minimum. my shower is a great listener though

<u>62. Are you a good singer?</u>

I was in a choir for a few years when I went to 'middle school' and I had like one solo part once but other than that I can't really say because I barely ever sing in front of people

<u>66. Do you like long or shor hair?</u>

this question is currently my absolute nemesis.. I've got suuuper duper long hair and have had it ever since elementary school and I used to be super happy with it and sometimes I still am happy with it but other days, depending on where I'm at genderwise, I absolutely hate it and I just want to take the closest scissors and cut it all off... currently haven't had the guts to look for new hair styles though... but in other people? or women more specifically? I love long hair 🥺

<u>71. What makes you nervous?</u>

Or the shorter question: what doesn't make me nervous... I'd say pretty much everything has got the potential to make me nervous. I'm an overthinker, anxiety is a big thing for me and ptsd makes me scared of almost everything. so.. yeah... sucks to be me sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

<u>72. Are you scared of the dark?</u>

Yes, very

<u>73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?</u>

I try not to but sadly I sometimes do, even if it's not my place to. I really don't like that part and hope I'll be able to learn not to sometime

<u>74. Are you ticklish?</u>

Yes and I hate it 😭

<u>86. What are you allergic to?</u>

again, easier question: what am I not allergic to... it's... a lot... like, really a lot. with the test on the skin of my arm I reacted to every single substance and the more thorough blood test lead to much of the same result. the absolute worst are birch trees (pitty, love those), then the usual pollen of pretty much every tree or flower, all animals with fur or feathers, dust and... yeah list goes on and on, you get the picture... :/

<u>87. Do you keep a journal?</u>

no.. have tried to multiple times in the past but never made it more than a week... too depressing to write and read... the therapist at the rehab clinic is currently forcing me to try a positivity diary for the millionths time, can't even get that done each day even though I'm doing it on my phone and get notifications to do it each evening...

<u>88. What do your parents do?</u>

making my life hell lol.. okay on a serious note, my father was a car electrician, he's retired by now, my mother is a housewife, she used to work different jobs before her first kid, later on she took care of my grandmother who was suffering from dementia, got some money and retirement points for that too.

<u>89. Do you like your age?</u>

I-... I don't know? it's weird because I both feel a lot younger and a lot older than I am rn....

<u>90. What makes you angry?</u>

another tough question... I actually have anger issues in that way that I'm barely capable of feeling anger... used to be worse but I already worked a lot on it in therapy so there's at least some there now... in the past I simply started to cry and felt overwhelmed by sadness whenever I was supposed to feel anger... so I can't tell very well what makes me angry because I first have to realize that I'm feeling anger or more like should be feeling it....

<u>91. Do you like your own name?</u>

Not really, no, but I guess I finally figured out some reasons why.. I've recently started going by a bit of a different name too but only my closest friends know so far and I'm not sure if I'll be using it irl at all..

<u>96. How did you get your name?</u>

I'm still trying to get my mother to admit that she named me after this song but she keeps denying it.. she's a fan of this band so it would have fit.. but she keeps saying she just liked the name, no long thought process behind it..

my chosen name is a bit of a different story. an ex friend I got to know through yt gave me that nickname almost 10 years ago after I complained that you can't make a shorter nickname out of my birthname and it's also the name of s character I like, especially his voice, and... idk it just feels more gender neutral and I simply feel comfortable with it. it just fit.

<u>100. Color of your room?</u>

same as question 5: Purple 🥰 or... well half the walls are purple, the other half is white

phew... can't believe I made it through all of these....

in case people haven't noticed yet, I'm currently kinda getting back into tumblr? I think I've already stayed a lot longer than any times I tried getting back before. it mostly started because we've got super bad wifi at the clinc I'm at rn and reddit takes up waaayy too much mobile data and... idk, I guess I just missed the vibe of tumblr

I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stick around but we'll see

[alarajrogers]

I’m going to rant about learning languages here

, To begin with, Rosetta Stone and my issues with it.

So when I was a young woman, if you wanted language learning software, there was no Duolingo, no cloud. There was Rosetta Stone, which was very expensive and I lusted mightily after it, and there were $20 CDs of “Instant Immersion” which I kinda suspected were probably crap.

It wasn’t until 2015 that I actually got the software. I did it for like an hour and then lost it until this year. So I decided to hunt it down and re-install it. Now, I pick what language I want to learn on the basis of very important criteria like “I think this will be important in my future career” or “it was the only other language available at my high school when I wanted to take two” or “I really want to understand these cartoons.” On the basis of “I want to understand the lyrics of songs I like”, I picked German. 

So Rosetta Stone’s thing is immersion learning, where they teach you entirely in the target language, rather than telling you things like how does the grammar work or what do these words mean in English. And for building vocabulary, I think it’s a pretty good method. But for learning the grammar rules of an absolutely psycho language, it is really not enough.

See, German does the gender thing. No prob, I’ve covered that in French and Spanish. German adds neuter gender. Hey, that’s actually cool, nonbinary people could describe themselves correctly in German. German makes the word for “female child” into a neuter word.

whaaaatttt?

The definite article (”the” in English) changes based on gender. I’m used to that. It also changes depending on whether it is the subject or the object. Uhh... And it repeats itself with words that meant the opposite gender the last time you saw them. Gaah!

For example, “the dog is under the table” is “Der Hund ist unter dem Tisch.” Both of those are masculine words. But what if the table is under the dog? “Der Tisch ist unter dem Hund.” Note that “the” changes depending on whether it’s the subject or the object.

Now let’s have it be a cat, which is a feminine word. “Die Katze ist unter dem Tisch.” Good so far. “Der Tisch ist unter der Katze.” Uhhh... wasn’t “der” the masculine “the” a moment ago? How the fuck am I supposed to keep track of this?

Also “in dem” (in the, masculine) contracts to “im”, becoming a perfectly normal contraction that leaves out consonants from the middle, you know, like contractions do.

But wait, there’s more!

“Er” is “he”. “Sie” is “she”. “Sie” is also... they? Uh... “Sie” is also polite you, like Spanish Usted or French vous. So when someone says “Sie” you have to tell from the verb whether it’s she or they, but “they” is exactly the same as the polite you so you’re gonna have to use context to figure out if “Is this their hat?” is  really “Is this your hat?”

By the way, all plural nouns take the feminine forms. So “the dogs are under the table” would be “Die Hunde sind unter dem Tisch” because apparently the dogs all changed into bitches the moment you added more than one.

German, why do you even pretend this is a “gender” if little girl is neuter and actual men change sex as soon as there are more than one of them? Why don’t you call it something else? Call it “small”, “medium” and “large”. That wouldn’t have anything to do with anything but neither does calling it gender.

Oh! And there is no rhyme or reason to the plurals! So dogs is Hunde, eggs (das Ei) are Eier, son (which is Sohn) is Söhne (meaning we stuck an e at the end but also we change the sound of the vowel!), cats are Katzen, and apple (Apfel) is Äpfel (so we didn’t do a damn thing to the end of the word but we changed the vowel) and I’m pretty sure there are some words that don’t change at all?

Also. I speak English. Rosetta Stone knows I speak English. So why did they need to tell me that the word for computer is Computer? And German, what the hell, why is your word for baby Baby? Does that look like a German word to you? 

And I am supposed to figure all this out from nothing but pictures and a mean-sounding “bzzt” sound if I guess wrong. No actual explanations of anything.

Eh. I’ll continue with the program but I need to back it up with studying the grammar rules because this shit is nuts. 

[the-girl-who-walks-with-faeries]

Answers to Dark Academia Asks

Its called I'm bored and I am procrastinating from doing my dissertation (its on medieval Norse dragons btw, I can make a post about it if anyone is interest), so I'm doing these questions. It has probably been years since I've done one of these, so let's learn a bit about me!

ink: favorite dead language?

Old Norse, mostly because its what my studies mostly focus on, though I have a soft spot for Latin, because I studied it throughout middle school and high school.

quill: how would you describe your writing style?

I don't really know. Supposedly its a weird writing style that I need to improve on, according to my professors. One of them told me it reminded them of a "1950s Robin Hood radio play" in some of the phrasings, so lets go with that.

perfume: scent of choice, whether it be a perfume/candle or just in general?

I really like bakery smells, like vanilla and cake and such, but also peach and fruity smells as well. If someone could make a perfume that smells like a peach crumble I'd be all set!

parchment: what area of philosophy interests you?

None, I've never been really interested in philosophy, sorry!

candles: favorite quote?

Oooooh that's a hard one. But on my page I have "not all those who wander are lost" from Tolkien, so let's go with that one!

raven: what makes you feel most like a “dark academic”?

Despite being online for class, it really helps that I study at an old university. Yesterday I sat in the sun at the ruins of the first monastery in my town, and that felt pretty "dark academic". Otherwise, its when I have to get out a book for my classes that looks like it hasn't been checked out in decades.

pages: do you annotate your books? how do you prefer to annotate them?

I never annotate books that I just read for entertainment. If its for research, I will highlight/underline, put sticky notes in, and occasionally write in.

corduroy: any big past regrets?

In this pandemic, there are a bunch, lol. But mostly its that I didn't do a lot of the traditional stuff that students at my uni do, and now that I'm graduating this year and everything is closed, I have to miss out on them.

violin: favorite composer? favorite piece of classical music?

I don't often listen to classical music, its just not something I gravitate towards. For composers, I really like listening to film scores, especially by Howard Shore and Harry Gregson-Williams. Anything fantasy is usually up my alley.

teapot: how do you take your tea or coffee?

I really like infusion teas, which I know someone will tell me that doesn't really count. But I just always like having a red berry tea with one or two sugars. For coffee, I prefer iced, and will get an iced caramel latte if I'm ordering it, but will just have a hot coffee with milk and sugar if I'm at home, because it's easier.

library: preferred study environment?

I love studying in cafes! I find that staying in the library too long makes me less productive, so I like sitting at a table in a dark cafe, having a coffee and being able to get work done while still having people talking and music playing around me.

wood: what does your ideal future look like?

While I would love to be part of some monster hunting/occult secret society, I don't think that's a possibility. I want to go into academia, hopefully being a professor, but would also be interested in working in museums and archives as well!

leather: favorite book(s)? what makes them special?

Anything by Tolkien will probably top my list because I have always had a special connection to Middle Earth that I can't really explain. I also love Narnia, His Dark Materials, Howl's Moving Castle, etc. etc.

canvas: is there any work of art that resonates with you? why?

Anything that's Pre-Raphaelite or Romantic, I just find that art style so beautiful and magical, especially because they tend to have very mythological/legendary themes to them that I appreciate.

capelet: quintessential piece of dark academia clothing?

A black turtleneck. I wear way too many turtlenecks in general, but growing up I watched the History Channel where every historian wore a black turtleneck. So now as a historian, I love wearing black turtlenecks haha!

feather: favorite poet? favorite piece of poetry?

I know this might be controversial, but I just don't really like poetry! I like reading epic poems like the Aeneid, Beowulf, etc., but for some reason I've just never gotten into modern poetry. If anyone has any recommendations let me know!

shadow: what makes you feel nostalgic?

Carving pumpkins, sitting outside on the porch in the summer, baking cookies with my mom.

sandalwood: what plants/flowers would you like to have in your study?

I want so many plants, but I just don't have a green thumb! I would love to have some small plants dotted around my study and propagating plants along the windowsills if I thought I could keep them alive. Maybe I should just start with a cactus.

clock: early bird or night owl?

Neither? I guess in the summer I become more of an early bird, but I like mid-morning to early afternoon time more than anything. Or late afternoon as the sun is setting!

pressed flowers: have you every fallen in love? out of love?

Yes to both.

orchestra: describe the songs on your most played playlist

Currently that playlist is a Buffy x Spike playlist because I started binge-watching BTVS but now I just listen to it because its got a lot of songs about illicit romance, unrequited feelings, etc. that is just really nice to listen to.

fire: which of the seven deadly sins do you find yourself leaning towards?

.....pride.....

tweed: any languages you want to learn/are learning?

I am currently learning Old Norse, Old English, and am re-teaching myself Latin. I would like to continue to learn Middle English and Welsh which I have taken breaks from. I need to learn German and/or French for PhD applications next fall. And I think it would be cool to know Ancient Egyptian and read hieroglyphs. Is that enough?

dust: biggest fears?

The typical answer of failure. I'll tell you though that I have an irrational phobia of the ocean and whales specifically. If anyone can explain that, I'd love to know!

silence: do you consider yourself to be a good secret keeper?

100%. Plus, I like knowing what everyone's secrets are, because I just think its interesting.

[yetremains]

“...”

“Well damn, alright.” Yang downed the rest of her tea quickly, before gasping for a breath as she shoved her cup away.

“Lightning round, lets go!”

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

“It was in my young teen years, 15 I think. I’d been dating that individual for a couple weeks before they abruptly decided to kiss me then and there. We’d been dancing around the subject for a while. It wasn’t spicy or romantic, merely spur of the moment. Was sweet though. The year after that we had broke up and remained friends for a while until we lost contact.”

french vanilla: how old are you?

“You shouldn’t ask someone their age when they been through shit. Too god damn old is the best answer if you must know. I’m older than 28, trust me. Don’t let looks fool you. But hey, I’m getting even older come December 25th!”

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

“Do places long gone count? Can I say Home? Nah probably not. So three places let’s see... Japan, China, Romania. The actual places not whatever anything makes them out to be.”

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

“I know a damn lot of languages actually. Sometimes it’s hard to think of the right words to say because of this, knowing so many. It’s one reason I’m so odd with my way of speaking. However, I would not mind learning some dead languages. If that doesn’t count, then... Persian?”

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

“Ah hell. I mean, I’m not much of a cosmetic expert here. I work with whatever I really need for a music show or for just every day. I could say L’Oreal because I’m worth it joke but that seems in bad taste. If I was using cosmetics just for the enjoyment or to look special, I just try and get whatever works for me.”

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

“Answered this one~!”

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

“Plenty. I’ve decided to learn a few different ones so I can mix together my own music needs of demands arise for it. But I really enjoy stringed instruments or wind instruments. I carry a small harmonica or Ryūteki in my packs.”

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

“Not easy to give an answer for, I’ve got a really broad taste. But I’m thinking something with a heavier beat at the moment-”

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

“Oh come on this makes it harder. As I said, broad taste. I can find enjoyment in many kinds of music and lyrics. Can’t exactly answer a favorite song for life here.”

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign?

“Which zodiac are we talking here? There are a lot out there. But the first one into my head is Capricorn. I am on the 25th of December.”

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

“As nice as the ocean can be, fuck the ocean. I’ll enjoy the coast line just fine but you won’t catch me swimming that far out in it. There is damn good reason why I don’t like the ocean much anymore. I’ll relax in a pool or a lake or river, thank you.”

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?

“Good question. I’ve made a few social media posts that exploded. But that’s probably not fair considering the music I do. I think my most popular is from years ago when I spray painted a statue of a certain someone to look like a baboon.”

bubblegum: books or movies?

“Both! Why choose? I enjoy both quite a bit. and besides, Books can always be there no matter what. And can hold so much valuable information depending what you are reading.”

pistachio: manga or anime?

“... Both again? But I prefer novels. This is more a guilty pleasure.”

salted caramel: favorite movies?

“I can’t remember the last movie I watched, if I’m honest, let alone a favorite movie.”

birthday cake: favorite books?

“Hmmm. Hard one. I enjoy the collected works of Edgar Allen Poe? There is Shōgun. The Mark of Zorro, Sherlock Holmes, Bram Stoker Dracula... There’s several.”

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

“Not exactly applicable, I don’t remember the name of any I like when I was young.”

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

“The same as above. Wow I am old... I should really get in touch with these things again.”

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

“Hah, I loved science and history. A damn lot really. I’ve used both to really help my self along and it’s come in handy. My need for knowledge had me spend a lot of time researching.”

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

“I’ve not had any pets since I was a rookie. Never had the time to truly care for one, and now with a hectic life, I’m not gonna do that to an animal.”

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

“Suppose just to exist and have something to do between pit stops.”

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

“It is torn between two for me. A nice warm day, clear, maybe with a gentle breeze. Some clouds above, and calm. That’s the ideal outing day... But, I suppose due to my birthday, I can enjoy a soft snow coming down,some snow on the ground, watching through a window with tea in hand while bundled up and warm. Much prefer clear day though.”

black cherry: four words that describe you?

“Now that’s just not fair. Let me think... Loyal, Determined, Caring, Protective.”

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

“Being reminded of my failings and those I’ve lost... the people I’ve hurt... Thinking about friends I wish I was closer too but too fearful to be that close. Hm. I can also be stressed out by far too much stimulation for my brain at once that it can spin my gears way too quickly.”

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

“Again, broad tastes. But depending on my mood or feelings, it changes what my favorite kind of music can be. But I will always enjoy something gentle and calming.”

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

“I’ve always been partial to chocolates, or cream items.”

toffee: a card game that you’re good at?

“Ever hear of a game called Egyptian Rat Race? Also known as Egyptian Rat Screw, dunno why of course. I learned this game when I was a kid. 52 card deck, deal to each player until the deck is entirely used and everyone has a pile face down. Starting to the left of the dealer players pull the top card off their pile and place it face-up in the middle. If the card played is a number card, the next player puts down a card, too. This continues around the table until somebody puts down a face card or an Ace. When a face card or an ace is played, the next person in the sequence must play another face card or an ace in order for play to continue.If the next person in the sequence does not play a face card or an ace within their allotted chance, the person who played the last face card or an ace wins the round and the whole pile goes to them. The winner begins the next round of play.“

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

“Uh... Admittedly not often. With my metabolism problem I absolutely should, considering the demanding needs. I just can’t always bring my self to do so, the will for it isn’t there. I do snack though.”

dark chocolate: turn ons?

“Ooohh boy... Now this one has me turning a bit red here. I mean there is biting and tight holds, the usual stuff. But... I’m not gonna list a lot here, a turn on can be blindfolding me if I trust my partner enough.”

fudge: turn offs?

“Being an asshole, for one.”

peach: how do you relax?

“A nice cup of tea, maybe some soft music, and let my mind unwind a little. That’s if I’m alone. Otherwise a gentle conversation with a friend about small things... Once upon a time long ago I would have said long hugs or cuddling. Not an option these days.”

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet?

“I’ve not read The Golden Compass, that has been on my to do list.”

superman: do you like sweaters?

“Weird how this one is with sweaters... but yeah I can enjoy sweaters in the right weather. They can be soft and warm, comfy. Great for cold days.”

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

“I drink both actually. But if I have the option for a good tea I’m going to take it without hesitation. Yet the spark of energy from Coffee can’t be denied.”

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

“Without a doubt, Taisho-goto. Have you seen one of those? It’s so intricate and amazing, and can sound wonderful. It can be used to play all sorts of things. Fascinates me that the item was half inspired by a typewriter.”

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

“Oh a few times actually. It’s been a good long while now since I’ve gone that far, but it’s come close. But once upon a time this has happened!”

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

“To Become A Functioning Website.”

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

“Now that’s just kissing and telling...” (( I’d also have to tag and dont wanna spam. ))

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

“Oddly specific, but... Variations of ‘One time she punched me in the face. It was awesome.’. “

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

“Uh, natural and colorless? I’ve not painted my nails in a while.”

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

“I have yes.”

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

“Again, yes. We’re not gonna go into this can of worms.”

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

“Sometimes. There comes the occasion when one does get exhausted and needs a damn nap.”

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

“Get way too flustered and accidentally admit I liked someone.”

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

“Completely! You say we’re going to get Sushi and you have my full attention.”

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

“Home unfortunately.”

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

“Nope! I’m thankful for that, but one day I have no doubt that’s going to change.”

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

“Mochi green tea, chocolate chip mint, red bean, Strawberry shortcake... Gelato raspberry or orange cream.”

[historic-old-guard-lover]

What are your thoughts on the old guards and literacy ( past and present ) ?

I've reblogged some posts here (on why anything goes for literacy in medieval Europe), here (which touches upon oral history), here (a heartwarming take on reading aloud), and here (a humorous take), but I'd love to go in depth for you! As usual, the mega-post with pictures and more detailed explanations is below the cut-off.

TL;DR Summary of Literacy for Each Member:

Lykon: never needed to read or write, probably did neither

Andy: we see her read in the film, but might have only picked up reading in the last few centuries; doesn’t necessarily know how to write but would also be a fairly recent skill*

Quynh: may read or write, but similar to Andy would have been “recent” in the terms of her lifespan*

Yusuf: likely can read and write Arabic before his death, values literacy

Nicolo: total wild-card for either reading or writing, but we see him reading silently in the film so he has learned to read at some point; unclear whether he values it

Booker: very background-dependent for reading and writing, but values literacy as a social status symbol and clearly enjoys books from the film

Nile: can read and write and views it as an essential skill, but likely knows people who are illiterate and understands the socio-economics behind US literacy

*This is based on the fact that they never needed literacy to go about their lives, but they could have learned to read and write by the time that Yusuf and Nicolo die if they enjoyed it.

First off, what is literacy? If you ask someone or google it, chances are you’ll encounter the definition along the lines of “you can read and write.” This is a definition of literacy. The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) defines it as “ability to identify, understand, interpret, create, communicate and compute, using printed and written materials associated with varying contexts.” To summarize academic arguments, “literacy” could mean anything from “is able to read a newspaper” to “understands internet meme language” to “understands the doctor’s write-up after a visit.” For this post, I’ll broadly address the ability to read and the ability to write in an character system since that is what I imagine you are asking.

You can’t have someone read something if you don’t have someone to write in a mutually-intelligible language, so let’s start with the history of writing. The invention of writing has been awarded to Sumerian Cuneiform in ~3,100 BCE in southern Mesopotamia (modern day Iraq and Iran near the Persian Gulf). It was done on clay tablets by trained scribes, primarily for boring things like business and government. Below is a picture of a tablet so you can see what cuneiform looked like. They eventually settled on writing left-to-right and didn’t have any punctuation (not even spaces between words!).

[ID: “Sumerian cuneiform tablet, probably from Erech (Uruk), Mesopotamia, c. 3100–2900 BCE; in the Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York City” from here. The Met attributes it as “administrative account of barley distribution with cylinder seal impression of a male figure, hunting dogs, and boars.”]

Another notable old language is (Old) Egyptian. The first complete sentence dates back to 2690 BCE and was done using hieroglyphs (shown below). This language was used throughout Egypt and Nubia, which translates to modern-day Egypt and Sudan. The language didn’t really pick up, from what archaeologists can tell, until around 2600 BCE where writing starts proliferating...and then is soon replaced with Middle Egyptian. Fun fact: the word “hieroglyphs” comes from the Greeks, but the Egyptians referred to their script as (transliterated) “medu-netjer” or “the god's words” because it was a gift from Thoth (yes, that guy with the falcon head who may also be accredited as Thot).

[ID: picture of a seal impression from the tomb of Seth-Peribsen. It reads “The Ombite (i.e. Set) has given the Two Lands to his son, Dual King Peribsen.”]

Skipping over a few more writing systems developed in the Middle East and surrounding regions, we finally get to the first records of Old Chinese in 1250 BCE with the inscription on oracle bones shown below. From the get-go, there were at least three different scripts of Old Chinese: oracle bone, bronze, and seal. I’ve also added a bronze script so that you can see the differences.

[ID: ox scapula oracle bone from the reign of King Wu Din. The fragments read “ ...divined: in the next ten days there will be no disasters...  (day 40) Zheng divined: in the next ten days there will be no disasters. (day 41) ... cleaved to (day 42) ... fifth month, in Dun...  (day 50) Zheng divined: in the next ten days there will be no disasters. ...   (day 50) Zheng divined: in the next ten days there will be no disasters. Third day, (day 52) ... (day 54) ... The Gui will also have sickness ...” ]

[ID: Rubbing of an engraving found on multiple objects which notes the appointment of a man named Song as supervisor of the storehouses in Chengzhou.]

As you can see, early writing would not have interested the earliest members of the Old Guard. The things that were being written down were things that were important to those governing and those in business. I really don’t think that Lykon, Andy, or Quynh would have cared much about the barely distribution or who’s in charge of the storehouse, and they wouldn’t have been important enough to keep their own oracle on retainer. If we use the timeline I developed for my history of language asks (~8,000BCE - 7,000BCE Horn of Africa Lykon, ~5,000BCE - 4,000BCE Caucauses Andy, and ~3,500BCE - 2,500BCE Southeast Asia Quynh), then they all predate the invention of writing excluding the younger range of Quynh’s possible birth which places her after the invention but still culturally separated from it. Lykon could have died without ever having to learn how to read or write, Andy was old before it was invented let alone became popular, and Quynh is from a time where writing was not common. This is a hot take, but there is a non-zero chance that if Quynh disliked reading/writing and resisted learning it, she could have been locked in the coffin without being solidly literate. Imagine the first language you really have to read after 500 years now that literacy is a requisite for society is French, which doesn’t even sound how it looks (I’m looking at you, silent -ent at the end of most present-tense verbs). Painful.

This brings us to the next question we should answer for these older members: when would reading or writing have become useful and important to them? This is obviously much more difficult to answer. Because of oral history traditions, they wouldn’t need to read for entertainment (that whole concept must be mind-boggling). Because they probably didn’t do much large-scale trade coordination, they wouldn’t need to write for business. I can’t see any of them working for the government. As much as I love the joke about Quynh recognizing wanted posters, that wasn’t a thing until right before the 19th century in Europe. Quite frankly, I don’t think Andy or Quynh has a compelling interest in learning to read until the 1700s at the earliest unless they want to and enjoy the idea of writing (perhaps introduced by the younger immortal couple?).

Yusuf and Nicolo are a different story altogether, as they were both born after the invention of writing had become fairly common (ie. books were a thing and people used them, though they were rare and expensive). A longer and far better post than I could write explains that literacy in medieval Italy was in no way uniform: Nicolo is a total toss-up. He might have only known how to write, only known how to read, done both, or done neither even if he was a monastic priest or even a scribe who copied manuscripts. As a member of a merchant family, this still holds because 1) he might not have been the child raised to take over the business; and 2) you could pay people to do that pesky writing thing for you if it was absolutely necessary.

Yusuf came from a society which valued reading, especially in religious contexts. It’s called the Islamic Golden Age for a reason! Young children were schooled in Arabic and the Quran, though it might have been memorization-based. Older students would be taught to read and possibly to write as well in order to engage in scholarship around their sacred texts. He is from the beginning of the creation and popularity of madrasa (literally just “place of study”) as institutions of learning. He probably had an entire curriculum he studied, like modern schooling. Given that we can all agree that Yusuf comes from a wealthy background, it is a safe assumption that Yusuf can read Arabic and it is probably also safe to assume that he can write in it. I’d say that, if you are writing him as particularly wealthy or scholarly, he is probably even trained in the art of calligraphy (see an example below) which is to say he can write BEAUTIFULLY. The example picture is simply words on paper like we’d expect of a modern book, but calligraphy would be integrated into architecture and pictures. Don’t tempt me to make another post on this beautiful art form.

[ID: Maghrebi script from a 13th-century northern African Quran, thanks to Wikipedia.]

Moving on to 1770s France, literacy was becoming common but still varied with social class (especially before the Revolution) and it’s not clear whether Booker would have learned to read and write. It’s ironic that many areas of the country did not have had more than 40% MEN’S literacy while at the same time the country was considered a hub of the Enlightenment with it’s institutions of higher learning. The North/South cultural divide that I’ve hinted at here and here, shows up in the literacy rates as well. As a Southern sharecropper or laborer, he would be very likely illiterate. As a Southern peasant, we approach a 50/50 chance as he becomes more wealthy. As an artisan (if anyone headcannons this), he most likely is literate though the extent varies with wealth. Whether Booker knows how to read and write before his death is closely linked to class and wealth, but he would value literacy as a major social status signifier and be motivated to learn if he didn’t already.

[ID: four maps depicting “men” and “women” literacy rates for the period of 1686-1690 versus the period of 1786-1790. Adapted from "Reading and Writing: Literacy in France from Calvin to Jules Ferry, 1982."]

This brings us to modern history for Nile. Compulsory schooling for children is present in the US and being illiterate is (unfairly) associated with being unlearned. She was definitely taught to read and write in school, and literacy has been an essential skill throughout her entire life. This doesn’t mean that she is necessarily disrespectful of any illiteracy, because thirty percent of Chicago adults would “benefit” from literacy instruction. Literacy is still tied to class (and thus race) for a lot of Americans, though less strikingly for 1770s France. Nile probably knows some adults in her life who are illiterate or struggle with literacy and would understand that this is tied to socio-economics.

[ssa-montgomery]

You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid

Word Count: 2247

Summary: Addison, Mark and Derek have all been friends long before the events of Grey's Anatomy and what we see them go through as Attendings. Their days in Medical school involved a whole lot of laughing, flirting and of course some actual studying. This is one of those average days.

Characters: Addison Montgomery x Derek Shepherd, Mark Sloan

Warnings: Fluff, Mark being a flirt, mention of cheating 

A/N:  So welcome to the first one-shot in a new series! This series is going to be a bunch of loosely connected flashback one-shots to Addison, Mark and Derek's days in Med school! I have a few ideas for future one-shots already but I am open to any requests you might have. If you want to see more of these please let me know and I can add you to the taglist!

The title is taken from the song "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" by The Offspring

Feedback is what motivates me to work so please let me know what you think! Reblogs are also greatly appreciated.

Taglist is open!

"Bonjour ma chérie." Mark had spotted Addison making her way down the steps in front of the building ahead of him and raced to catch up to her before she disappeared into the crowds of students outside. He draped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side with a grin.

Despite having mostly separate classes for the day they both finished at the same time, unlike Derek who still had one class left. It was the beginning of summer and the temperature had been increasing over the past couple of days but Mark was still wearing one of his signature leather jackets, his motorbike helmet tucked under his free arm. He had gotten his bike at the start of the school year and Addison had barely seen him outside the apartment without it since then. She was certain part of the reason behind that was that the girls on campus seemed to love the bike too.

"Hey, Mark." Addison laughed bumping her shoulder against Mark's. "I see those conversational French lessons are paying off."

"Yes, they are." Mark nodded his head and let out a laugh of his own.

A comfortable silence settled over them as they walked further down the path together, heading towards the end of campus. The heat of the sun was pouring down on them through the gaps in the trees that surrounded the path and Addison was grateful for the loose sundress she had slipped on that morning. She let out a content sigh and allowed herself to appreciate the calm moment at the end of a long day of classes.

"You coming back to the apartment to hang out?" Mark asked looking down at her as they started to draw closer to the end of the path.

"I can't right now. Tennis practice." Addison gestured to the sports bag she had hanging off one shoulder. Her mother had signed her up for tennis when she was younger and it was one of the few activities from her teens that she had actually enjoyed which lead her to continue with practice in college and now in med school too. She knew once she started her internship she wouldn't have the time for it anymore so she made the most of it now.

"Oh right, maybe I could come with? I've never seen you play." Mark suggested.

"Mark we both know you just want to go and watch pretty girls in short skirts play sports." Addison sighed, she considered Mark a close friend and had learned many things about him since first meeting him, one of them being his extensive dating history and the fact that he loved to flirt with anyone he could. Addison herself included.

"I mean, yeah but like I could also be your personal cheerleader. Wait, does tennis have its own cheerleaders? Because that's just more pretty girls in short skirts."

"Mark!" Addison shot him an exasperated look and lightly elbowed him in the ribs.

"Okay okay sorry." Mark snorted. They had reached the end of the path and came to a stop on the street outside campus. Mark's apartment was in the opposite direction to Addison's practice so he removed his arm from around her shoulders and moved to face her as they talked.

"I thought you were with that girl from our Gross Anatomy class anyway? What was her name again?"

"Oh uh yeah, that didn't work out. She dumped me, threw all my stuff out of her fourth-floor dorm window. Including my Gross Anatomy textbook that got ripped in half, I had to order a new one." Mark sighed shifting his weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably. 

"Oh, Mark," Addison said sympathetically reaching over to lightly squeeze his arm. Addison sat next to Mark in that class and she had watched him flirting with that girl from across the classroom before he finally met her in the library and actually asked her out. She had seemed sweet and Addison thought that what Mark had described seemed out of character. "I'm sorry, she seemed great."

"Well I mean I had it coming, I was also sleeping with her roommate."

"Seriously Mark." Addison scoffed rolling her eyes. "Never mind I take back my sympathy you did have that coming. You're such an ass."

"But you still love me?" Mark questioned flashing that familiar grin at her.

"Hmm, sometimes." She teased. She had never expected to become as close to Mark as she was now. He had been in a couple of her classes since she started med school but she hadn't paid much attention to him. That was until Derek Shepherd, the cute boy in her Gross Anatomy class had introduced himself to her in the library one day and asked her out on a date, even then Mark had been by his side and she quickly learned they came as a package deal. After that, she started to spend more and more time with him and they became good friends.

"So are you gonna swing by the apartment to see Derek? Maybe we could all hang out together?"

"Of course Mark, I'm coming straight over once I'm done with practice." Addison smiled at him.

"I'll see you later then, knock 'em dead at practice Red."

"Thank you, Mark. I'll see you soon."

~~~

Addison pulled her key out of her bag and easily slid it into the lock, pushing open the door to Derek and Mark's shared apartment. Derek had a key made for her a few months ago after she started to spend more time at their apartment than her own. Her apartment was left empty most of the time with her at Derek and Mark's and her roommate and best friend Naomi at her boyfriend Sam's. The apartment was a decent size with an open living room that they spent most of their time in and kitchen. Derek and Mark both had their own bedrooms but over time Derek's room had become his and Addison's with her slowly adding her own clothes to his wardrobe and her leaving her books there because "it was just easier" with her there most of the time.

When Addison stepped inside the main room was empty and at first, the whole apartment seems silent. For a moment she wondered if they had both already gone to bed but it was still early and that was unusual for them. She dropped her sports bag down on top of the counter in the kitchen and made her way towards Derek's bedroom. As she came closer to the door she could hear Mark and Derek laughing on the other side. She cracked the door open slightly and stuck her head around, peering into the room.

"Having a slumber party without me?" Addison chuckled looking at them both sitting in the middle of Derek's bed. 

"Sorry Addie, you took too long to come home and now I've taken your boyfriend. You'll need to find someone else." Mark teased resting a hand on Derek's knee.

"I can't blame you, good guys like him are hard to come by." Addison opened the door fully and walked into the room to join them. Mark cocked an eyebrow looking her up and down as he took in her outfit. She had come straight from practice just like she had promised and she was still wearing her tennis gear, her hair pulled back into a high ponytail that had now fallen out of place with strands fallen into her face.

Derek glanced over at Mark and noticed the way he was staring at Addison. Reaching behind him Derek grabbed one of his pillows and hit Mark in the face with it, pushing him onto his back so he could hold the pillow over his eyes. Mark's laughter was muffled by the pillow and he pushed at Derek's chest but he refused to move the pillow.

"Mark, stop eyeing my girlfriend."

Addison crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes at them. She had gotten used to their antics over time and was rarely surprised by them any more. Mark and Derek were so close Addison had almost mistaken them for brothers before she really knew them. She understood why now, they had grown up together and Mark truly was the brother Derek never had in a house full of sisters.

"Honey, I'm going to go take a shower and change out of these clothes," Addison said making her way across the room and planting a soft kiss to Derek's cheek.

"Okay." Derek nodded smiling up at Addison.

"So um, do you think you could move this pillow now before you suffocate me?" Mark asked once he heard the lock on the bathroom door click closed behind Addison.

"Right, sorry." Derek laughed moving the pillow back onto his lap, holding his free hand out to help Mark sit back up.

"It's just you know, there are three doctors in training in this apartment but with me down I don't know if I trust you two with the CPR. Plus I doubt you want Addison giving me mouth to mouth."

Mark swiftly rolled out of the way of the pillow that Derek hurled in his direction and narrowly avoid falling off the edge of the bed as the pillow tumbled to the floor.

~~~

Addison emerged from the bathroom half an hour later in her pyjamas, her hair twisted up into a loose bun. Her makeup had been removed and she looked relaxed. She padded across the floor and crawled up onto the bed next to Derek who was lying on his usual side of the bed, his back propped against the headboard. Mark, on the other hand, was sprawled out across the foot of the bed staring up at the ceiling. The pillow Derek had thrown at him was sitting on his chest and he had one arm draped across it.

"So what are you two doing? I was thinking about going over the content of today's class if either of you wants to join." Addison explained curling herself into Derek's side.

"Ever the vigilant student Addie." Mark chuckled. "Yeah, that would be good."

"Of course." Derek nodded in agreement, threading his fingers through the loose parts of Addison's hair. Addison leaned into the contact and let out a satisfied hum.

"Perfect, we can use my textbooks since Mark's got damaged." Addison teased throwing a sly smirk at Mark.

"Oh come on! It was only one of them." He groaned rolling over onto his stomach, moving the pillow so his head was now propped up on it.

"Well mine is right here, it will save you getting up." Derek smiled, kissing the top of Addison's head before reaching over to his bedside table to drag his bag closer trying not to disturb her too much.

He pulled out his copy of Gray's Anatomy textbook and dropped it onto the middle of the bed so they could all easily see it. Addison pulled herself away from Derek and sat up to flick the book open, crossing her legs underneath herself. She opened the page they had been working on that day and noticed the notes that Derek had scribbled in the margin, he had also labelled the detailed sketch of the brain. 

"I took some more detailed notes on the neuro section, don't mind all the writing," Derek explained fidgeting nervously with the edge of the page.

"Look at you already knowing what speciality you're interested in." Addison giggled playfully pushing at Derek's arm. They all worked hard in their classes but Derek had always been the most focused out of them and he spent a lot of his time studying. Addison wasn't surprised that he was the first out of the group to find a speciality he was seriously interested in. He had put the hours into the research.

"At least, for now, Neurosurgery seems the most interesting to me. You know you're working with the part of a person that makes up who they are, their personality, their ability to perform tasks. It's a speciality you can really help people with." Derek said. He sounded passionate when he spoke about it and they could see that this genuinely might be his speciality someday. 

"I think I might have found a speciality too," Mark said then. They both looked at him slightly surprised. Mark had never really shown interest in anyone speciality before this and they hadn't known he was even considering one already. "I've been really interested in plastics recently. I don't want to tie myself to one speciality before we even start internship but I will definitely be looking into it more. I think it has the potential to really help some people."

"I think I'll need to try a bit of every speciality before I really know what I'm interested in," Addison explained honestly. Originally she had thought she would be interested in General surgery but the more she learned about neonatal she felt herself being pulled more in that direction as a speciality. "Although OB/GYN does seem interesting, you know not only are you saving one life but you're saving two. Plus it has a few different paths you could take when you really start to define your speciality.2

"We'd make a badass surgical team." Mark grinned up at them both.

"Hell yes, we will." Derek laughed.

"Maybe we could have our own practice together someday." Addison agreed.

Taglist: @thewaywardimpala

[dearsubconscious]

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend reading my very first post on this page before continuing. This story has themes of emotionsl/psychological/narcissistic abuse. This is my true story. Readers be advised.

Sifting Through the Memories: Part One

Dear Subconscious,

6 years. It took you 6 years to tell me the truth. I don’t think you understand how impactful that actually is. Maybe you thought that you were helping me. Maybe you thought that the walls of ignorance that you had built were keeping me safe. I don’t think I will ever really know. However, those 6 years managed to do just as much damage to my life, if not more that the years prior, all because I didn’t understand.

Those 6 years were so confusing. I found the courage to leave her in fall of 2013, senior year of high school, but you waited until 2019 to explain what really happened during that 5-year-long relationship during my most vulnerable years. In the process of waiting all of that time, I had no real understanding of why I had these horrible habits or these self-destructive tendencies that ruined nearly all aspects of my life.

I knew and understood a lot about depression from middle school and high school; from class discussions on the topic; from the people I was close to at the time that suffered greatly from it; from the people that I helped through the dark via deep and open conversations late into the night over text; from the people I care about most struggling through it; perhaps most of all, from my own struggles with it.

I wasn’t really sure at the time why I was depressed, however. I tried to pin it on my apathy for school, which caused my bad grades. Deep down, I always knew that was actually a consequence of my depression, among other reasons, not a cause. I thought maybe it was because of my family situation at home that had been ever changing from around 4th grade on: parent divorces and marriages, arguments, moving houses and changing schools, new step siblings (I was an only child), destructive, alcoholic step parents. These things may have initiated some depression early on, and they may have been contributing factors over time, but I never really felt that any of these events were ultimately what led to my darkest moments in life. I always knew people my age going through worse things than I was, and they seemed to be keeping themselves together better than I was. So why was I having such a difficult time in life? Why couldn’t I keep up with everyone else? Why was my self esteem so low? My parents were always good at supporting me and giving me love and attention, so how could I feel so low? I just never actually knew until recently. Until it was beyond too late.

I was always taught to try to reach out and always be there to help those in need when they need it most and be a helping hand. It could save a life. And I know that I helped save some of my friends lives. I wasn’t looking for praise or to be a hero. I just wanted to make sure that everyone around me was okay. Maybe I was always hopeful that the favor would be returned should I ever need it. I still hold these values today, as I know that so many people just need to be heard to be saved.

Just like me.

Most of my friends knew that I didnt sleep well in high school. I didn’t know it at the time, but it turns out that was a symptom of my body and mind being in fight-or-flight mode at all times. I was too afraid to sleep for fear of making my girlfriend mad. This still affects my sleep habits to this day. More on that later. This, however, meant that all of my friends also knew that they could text me at just about any time, 24 hours a day, and I would most likely respond. For much of high school, it definitely seemed like I was talking to someone every night, helping them sort their thoughts out and generally letting them vent or open up about their emotions. These talks also, occasionally, had me talking people “back from the ledge” when things got really bad for several of my deeply depressed friends. I always remained anonymous about it for their sake, but I was always glad that I could be there to help in the middle of the night when they were at their darkest. I distinctly remember, in one week, for some reason, three of my friends from three different “walks of life,” unrelated from one another, had all gone through deeply traumatic events and I found myself texting and calling them late through the nights to keep them from making the ultimate decision. All of these years later and I am happy to say that nobody that I knew in high school has taken their own life to this day. It definitely feels a bit miraculous, since I know that my younger step siblings have each lost several friends to suicide during their high school years.

Being young an naive and constantly empathetic toward everyone around me meant that I also left myself very vulnerable and very easy to push around. I never saw it that way at the time, though. Again, naive. I left my empathetic ways open to be used. I didn’t think that anybody could use my kindness against me with malicious intent. Why would they? How could they? I was just being nice.

I suppose that should lead us back to 7th grade, where the real story began. In theater class, an elective I enjoyed in high school, I got to know people better that I hadn’t known before. I had started at a new school where I knew virtually nobody in 6th grade, and the experience of 6th grade didn’t leave much time to get to know anybody yet (though I did meet my best friend in 6th grade). The 7th grade schedule allowed us more time to meet and learn about people in our classes, and theater in particular was a class all about getting to know people so that you could perform characters well together.

This was where I really met her.

We had one other class together, French, but that class had a very strict teacher that allows no time for talking amongst ourselves, so seeing each other’s personalities in theater class meant much more. I remember she always wore the same sweater jacket everyday, just like me. She was small, shy and quiet and she tended to use the sleeves on her jacket to cover her hands. She would wrap her fingers over the ends of the sleeves, gripping tight as if it was protecting her, like some kind of shield. We had to present mini performances often in that class and I could tell that she was very nervous for one of her first ones. She was trying hard to recall her lines and was gripping hard and fidgeting with her sleeve trying to protect herself. I saw a lot of myself in her at the time and I had a lot of empathy for her in that moment. I tried to motion to her to let go of her sleeves so that she could appear more confident. She noticed my sitting in the back motioning, but I think I just looked crazy to her at the time. My use of empathy here should have been the first sign that I was approaching this relationship all wrong. I saw her as someone I could help because I could relate well to.

We started talking a bit in that class. Eventually I managed to convince her to chat with me on yahoo messenger after school so that we could talk more. Our phone plan at the time did not include texting or data, so I was stuck with using yahoo messenger at home on my desktop. We made this work though. I found out quickly that her mom had just gotten married without telling her to a man she didn’t like with two daughters that she did not get along well with. While I don’t entirely blame her for those feelings, even now, her deep apathy for this still probably should have been a red flag at the time, but I was too young and naive to see it at the time. Plus, I was going through something very similar at the time so we had a lot of connection through that. Our conversations were long and we learned a lot about each other. We would trade off asking each other simple questions, like what our favorite song was, or who our favorite family member was. I think this made us feel closer than we were, and at the time we didn’t feel so alone in a strange and lonely life.

She started venting to me about the, supposedly, traumatizing things that she had been going through with her moms marriage and the new people in her house. I should her a lot of sympathy during that time. This probably made her feel like she had someone that would listen to her deepest problems, but it was also the start of her use of my own empathy against me. She would start to use it to trap me in a conversation. Making me feel a little guilty if had to leave for dinner or homework. She didn’t really get angry, but I would always apologize a lot for leaving so she started to get annoyed with the frequency of my interruptions. At the time I thought absolutely nothing about this.

A short time later, I had decided that I definitely liked her because she would connect with and listen to me. I had gotten to know a few of her friends and I had even passed a note to one of her friends that I was thinking about asking her out. Her friend was immediately all over this and wanted me to do it soon. So, one day we were out in groups in theater class, and I remember eaves dropping in her group nearby where her friend was asking her if she likes me. She nodded yes and they discussed a bit. It was a bit of a blur from there, but one way or another I ended up asking her out by the end of that class and she agreed. I was giddy with excitement for weeks, of course. I felt like I couldn’t have asked for things to go better. Puppy love (a term I have come to loath as we called each other puppies for the entirety of the time that we dated. I realized later how she used it as a name to belittle me most of the time). That said, our actual relationship, behaviors and conversations did not change basically at all once we were dating.

Her family was a strict catholic family that taught her to be very uptight about relationships (or so she told me), so we didn’t even hold hands for months. It didn’t even seem like we were in a relationship at all. We were very young anyway, so nobody was really surprised. Summer quickly came around and I was off to see my family in Europe for a month. There was no way for me to communicate with her during that time. With the state of our relationship, that was actually okay. When I returned from that trip, I saw her within the following days and she seemed a bit distant. I asked if we were still together and she agreed, but she seemed a bit apathetic. Our conversations started again on yahoo messenger in the evenings and all seemed normal again.

School soon started again, 8th grade. We only had French class together and we just didn’t seem as connected. I could tell that she was putting some distance on me. I was developing new friends and I became caught up with them more often. Soon (around mid September), she told me that she thought that we should call it off. She felt that we were better off as friends. With the way things were and the fact that we never became very close, I agreed, but it still hurt a little. I had felt good about what we did have at the time, but I couldn’t blame her. I hadn’t helped to close the distance in the weeks before that.

I know, this seems inconsequential on my life up to this point and this clearly wasn’t 5 years, so what really happened. Well, it got a lot more complicated very quickly.

Up to this point, I don’t think that you were blocking much or trying to hide any pain. Not much of the damage had been done yet. You couldn’t have seen what was coming next, so how could I blame you. You didn’t do much to keep me from being very vulnerable around that time, though. You were probably sending up red flags that I didn’t understand because my conscious brain was blind and full of emotions that were blocking you out. I was a teenage boy after all.

To be continued.

Thank you for reading. I only write these when I am going through the low days, often after a PTSD trigger, when I have some sleepless time. It helps me collect myself. Updates to this will not be regular, but I hope that you can follow along. Most of all, I hope that sharing my story can help others that are in or have been in similar situations. This situation has had me feeling incredibly lonely for years. I don’t wish this pain on anyone and I hope that you can keep moving forward like I am. We are stronger together and most importantly: you. are. not. alone.

[dawnwave16]

Leaf Bound

Hi all this might be a little salty in places but I didn’t feel it was enough to tag salt.  As Always I hope you enjoy! Also this is a one shot so I don’t think I will write more of it...

Story:

Shikamaru had grown up knowing about the outer countries. How could he not know about them when his soulmate knew about them? He didn't let anyone know that he had that particular aspect of a soulmate mark though, it would be way too troublesome! Shikamaru was one of the rare people in the world with more than one soulmate trait. His most obvious, and thus his only known, one was a ladybug that scrambled all over his chest and arms. As far as he knew it reflected his soulmates current mood or activity, after all, how many ladybugs could sow or do other handicrafts? That's not to say that that's all it did but it was one of the most common things to see his little bug doing. He loved his little mark even though it tickled when it ran across his skin, making him want to squirm. 

His other marks were something he kept secret after all sharing knowledge and skills wasn't very common. That's not to say he knew all of her thoughts nor she all of his. The knowledge that the bond shared was more the world or general knowledge that they had as well as what they learned in school. As for skills, well, his mother had never taught him to sow or how to make clothes at all and that was one of the most useful skills to have as a shinobi. Baking and cooking was another thing his mother had never had to teach him so it was fairly understandable when his parents were shocked when he made them a cake and iced it expertly for their wedding anniversary one year. He didn't tell them how he'd done it though, that would lead to questions and questions were troublesome. 

His final mark was one that normally gave him the most comfort, a soft tune that played constantly in the back of his mind. The tune changed slightly depending on her health and her state of mind. When she was happy or creating something it was a soft, happy tune when she was upset or stressed it took on a more sombre tone. When she was angry the tune became more staccato and lately, it was the melancholy, staccato tunes that were the most prominent tunes he heard. To make matters worse, his little ladybug hadn't drawn or sown anything in quite some time and hadn't scurried over him happily in over a year. In short, Shikamaru was worried and his teammates were starting to take notice, all of the Konoha 12 had.

“Okay Shikamaru, enough is enough! The war is over, repairs are underway and you get to cloud watch or laze around whenever you aren't training or working. What's bugging you?” Ino demanded.

“And don't tell us 'Nothing' as you've looked troubled for the last few weeks,” Naruto stated bluntly. It was unusual for Naruto to get involved as he wasn't the most observant but Shikamaru knew he needed to be honest with them. They had been through a lot together after all.

“ Troublesome, not here. I don't know how much everyone knows and I have a feeling at least part of the explanation will need the Hokage's attention so lets head there and once he raises the barrier, I'll explain.” He sighed heavily. The others looked at each other, then swiftly finished their meals and walked to the Hokage's office. Kakashi was surprised to see them all but quickly agreed to raise the barrier. Shikamaru sighed and mumbled a quiet 'Troublesome' before looking at his friends and Kakashi and starting to speak.

“As most of you know I have a ladybug soulmate mark that likes running around and generally being troublesome,” he began and saw most of them nod. “What you don't know is that that isn't my only soul mark. I have two others, though all signs point to them belonging to the same person.” Everyone's eyes showed their surprise at that and he raised his hand to forestall their questions. “The reason I say this is one of those marks is the one where there is always a tune playing that allows you to keep track of how your soulmate is emotionally and the tune always matches my little ladybug's mood. The last mark is why I said we needed the privacy barrier. It's the one where the two soulmates share skills and knowledge.”  Shikamaru shifted slightly from foot to foot.

“That is how I can cook, bake, sew and draw. I have no idea what abilities of mine my soulmate got. Anyway, with the knowledge it seems we share a pool of general knowledge about the world we live in, however, they are not in the elemental nations. They live beyond its borders, probably in a country called France as that is where quite a lot of their knowledge seems to concentrate and they speak a language called French. Part of our skillshare thing is we can speak each other's languages.” He concluded with a shrug.

“So what does all of that have to do with why you have been so distracted?” Ino asked gently.

Shikamaru sighed then in a small show of trust, took his vest and shirt off, showing them the ladybug. He glanced at the clock then looked down at the little bug. At this time of the day, it normally had it's nose in a book or was busy writing however, today it was just sitting holding a leg much like they would if they hurt themselves. He went to touch it, only for it to shy away from his finger. Shikamaru closed his eyes in sad acceptance and dropped his hand.

“It's been reacting like this for two weeks. I used to be able to stroke it to try to send my soulmate comfort but two weeks ago the song changed from it's already melancholy tune to one that is almost non-existent and the ladybug started shying away from all forms of touch. I'm worried about what could have caused this change.”

Silence met Shikamaru's revelation but he didn't lift his head, choosing instead to keep looking at the cowering ladybug that was now on his arm. It seemed to understand that he was worried but knew that there was nothing that could be done to help.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Marinette didn't know what to think of the fact that she had three soulmate marks or indicators. She loved the lazy, shadowy Shika deer that wondered over her torso and upper arms dearly though. She didn't know why her soulmate was best represented by a deer or shadows but she didn't question it. Her soulmate's song was just as relaxing most of the time and she loved designing while listening to it. When she turned thirteen she noticed that the deer now had a piece of material around its neck. The material had a spiral that looked almost like a leaf, which she recognised as the symbol for Konoha. 

The only reason she recognised it was due to the shared knowledge that she received from her soulmate and due to that she had guessed that he or she was a shinobi for the village. It was also due to this shared knowledge that she knew the weird eyes she had unlocked when she was fifteen and in the middle of a battle as Ladybug, were known as the Rinnegan.

In retrospect, it was due to knowing that her eyes were from the elemental nations that when her mother had revealed that Marinette was adopted, in an argument over Marinette's trustworthiness of all things, that the news didn't truly hurt as much as it would have otherwise. When Sabine had screamed out that no daughter of hers would ever be as unreliable and as much of a liar as Marinette was, Marinette had, at first, been confused. Seeing this Sabine had decided to spit the fact that they had adopted Marinette from some random traveller when she was barely a year old in her face. It had hurt Marinette to think that a simple thing like being adopted would make her mother so susceptible to Lila's lies but at the same time, it let Marinette form her plans to go to the elemental nations with a clear conscience.

After defeating Hawkmoth and taking back the Black Cat miraculous from Chat Noir without finding out his identity nor he hers, Marinette had simply been waiting to finish her education before packing up and leaving France. She knew she would need to be the one to move as a shinobi couldn't abandon their village. Especially not a Jonin, if the jacket her mark sported was anything to go by. She wondered if the mark that represented her wore clothes too. She guessed it would be a Ladybug due to her miraculous but wouldn't know for sure until they met. 

She had been so caught up in her thoughts that the sudden shove that sent her spinning off balance and in turn sent her tumbling down the stairs came as an unwelcome shock. Marinette kept her eyes closed as she mentally checked to see if she was injured or not. She had been Ladybug for so long that this was second nature to her but that didn't mean she could contain her wince as she checked her arms and found her left one was broken. Thankfully, she had only been about halfway up the stairs when it happened or Marinette was sure she would be worse off. 

“That's for Lila,” the person who shoved her sneered before vanishing back into the crowd. Marinette sighed, even with Hawkmoth gone, Lila was still finding ways to bring out the worst in people. She didn't know who it was that had pushed her nor did she care if she was honest. Finding out would do nothing to change the opinions of all of Lila's sycophants so Marinette ignored it. She was going to be late for class if she didn't hurry.

Once school was finished for the day, Marinette made sure she had everything of value to her packed away in a suitcase along with everything else she could fit into it. Thanks to her Soulmate's knowledge of fuinjutsu she was then able to seal that bag into a seal that she had sown onto a ribbon that she had taken to wearing tied around her wrist. She even sealed away the miracle box with the consent of the kwami's that lived in it. 

To anyone looking around her room, nothing had changed. There was still a sowing machine and design paraphernalia stacked away in a corner. Her computer still sat on her desk, heck even her large stuffed cat was sitting on her bed. None of those things was what she would be taking with her. She had bought a new sowing machine along with several other things when Jagged had paid for his last commission. She had insisted on delivering it in person as she had then explained to him what was going on in her life and what her plan was moving forward. He had been disappointed that she was leaving but he had understood and helped book her a plane ticket to Japan and from there he had booked a ticket on the only ship that went to and from the elemental nations. 

The plane ticket was booked for graduation day, which would help hide the fact that she had left as no one would expect her to miss it after stubbornly completing school. What none of her classmates or her teachers or even her parents would expect is the bombshell that would be dropped on them during the ceremony. Marinette had meticulously documented everything that had been happening at the school and sent it to the Department of Education as well as the school board. What happened to those involved after everything came to light wasn't her problem.

The following six weeks blurred together as Marinette completed all her school work and let her arm heal up. A side effect of being pushed around so much was she flinched whenever anyone came near her. It wasn't noticeable to anyone who wasn't trained to notice it but it still annoyed her. She knew she would have to have at least a small amount of counselling to deal with the problem and she hoped whoever her soulmate was wouldn't be disappointed in her. 

The morning of her flight from Paris dawned with a slightly grey and anticipatory air to it. Moving quickly and quietly, Marinette did a final check of her room, making absolutely sure that she had left absolutely nothing that she would miss behind. All her lockboxes, designs and even her spare fabrics, needles and pins were packed. Once she was sure she had everything she slipped out of the house and walked as though she was headed to school, knowing that Sabine was watching her. Once she was out of sight of the bakery, Marinette slipped down into one of the entrances to the metro, boarding a train that would take her as close to the airport as possible. 

The flight took off on time and as the piolet managed to get them to fly in a jet stream, it was shorter than Marinette thought it would be. She was grateful for this as it let her take her time getting to the harbour so that she could board the ship that would take her to her final destination. She was nervous yet excited to be on her way to meet her soulmate. Excited because who wouldn't be? Nervous because, again, who wouldn't be? This was her soulmate after all and she had left everything familiar to her to be with them. She had no idea what they would be like or even how they would react to her just showing up out of the blue. It was times like this that she wished she could at least send a notice ahead so that they would know she was coming.

The boat ride was uneventful and she was able to pass through customs with no issues. It was only after she had cleared customs that she realised she might have a problem. She knew the way to Konoha but it was a military village and they wouldn't have any reason to trust her. She also knew that while the villages themselves were relatively safe, the roads between them weren't and she would have no protection as she made her way there. Just as she was about to start spiralling anxiously she spotted a person that had a Konoha headband on. She walked over to him quickly, making sure he saw her walking towards him and that he could see she wasn't armed.

“Excuse me!” She called to him making him pause and look at her. His blond hair and startling blue eyes so similar to her own were the some of the first things that she took note of now that she got passed the fact that he had the same symbol on his headband as her mark. She purposefully ignored the amount of orange that he was wearing!

“Yes, can I help you?” He said to her looking confused as to why she had called out to him.

“I hope so! Um, you see, well...” she paused to take a deep breath as he looked at her worriedly. “This is going to sound really stupid and I won't blame you if you tell me to leave you alone but my soulmate mark has the same symbol on its headband as the one you are wearing and I was hoping you would be able to take me to Konoha,” she rambled nervously barely stopping for breath. He smiled down at her.

“This might sound rude but I'd need to see the mark for myself before I can do anything to help you.” He scratched the back of his head, “I was meant to head to Paris to try to find a friends soulmate, I hope he won't mind the delay,” he muttered.

“Oh, um, sure. I just hope it hasn't decided to hide somewhere on my torso as I really don't want to take my shirt off.” She said with a blush which made him blush too. She put her bag on the floor between her feet then took her jacket off then checked her arms and smiled fondly. There on her forearm was her lazy Shika deer, smoking a cigarette. She shook her head in amusement.

“Smoking again? Really?”

The blond looked at the mark and started to laugh. “Well, it looks like you are the one I was sent to find. However, to be certain, what type of hobbies do you enjoy?” Marinette looked at him in confusion and hope before answering his question.

“Baking and sewing why?”

“Just needed a way to confirm that you are who I was being sent to find! Right, let me go get this ticket refunded and we can head out if you feel up to travelling today. If not we can book into a motel or something, whatever you are most comfortable with! Oh! Before I forget, I'm Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo!” He said with a big grin.

“I'm ok to travel today though I can't guarantee how fast I'll be able to travel.” Marinette was surprised that her soulmate was sending someone to find her, she wondered what had happened to make him do that. She knew she could be falling for a trap but something about this man told her to trust him. She was also curious about why her eyes were so similar to his she had to admit. It took an hour of waiting around for Naruto's ticket refunded and to grab something for them to eat but to Marinette, it felt like the time dragged on forever. Once that was done though, they were on the road to Konoha in next to no time at all. Marinette wished she could transform into Ladybug and use her yo-yo to travel through the trees if only to speed things up but she didn't dare. There was just no way of knowing how anyone in the elemental nations would react.

Since they were walking it took them three days to reach Konoha and in that time Marinette found Naruto to be good company. In fact, it felt like she had known him for far longer than the three days that it had been. She had a feeling Trixx would love Naruto although if Marinette was honest with herself she was reluctant to hand any of the miraculi out until she was more familiar with the country and whether or not they were needed. She was also very nervous of pairing a self-confessed Prankster King with an agent of chaos like Trixx. 

On the last night of their journey to Konoha, they had started talking about family and their views on it. It had come as a surprise to her to know that Naruto was an orphan, just like he had been very surprised to know that she had been adopted and that she had absolutely no idea who her real parents were. Unknown to her that had made Naruto remember an off-handed statement by Jiraiya when he was drunk the one night. They had been talking about regrets and Jiraiya had mentioned that he wished he had managed to find out what had happened to Naruto's twin. Apparently, she had gone missing a month after their parents had died but Jiraiya had never been able to find any leads regarding where she might have gone. With Marinette knowing anything about her past and with their eyes being so similar, Naruto had to fight not to be too hopeful and to remember that she might not be his twin at all. 

The wall that surrounds Konoha loomed above Naruto and Marinette as they approached the main gate. They paused for a moment so that Marinette could admire them before Naruto insisted that they carry on. Their first stop, once they had signed in at the gate, was the Hokage Tower as Naruto needed to check-in. He knew that Shikamaru would be in the office too as he was technically the client for this mission. The only reason that he could walk straight in was that he had sent a toad ahead after Marinette had fallen asleep on the first night as well as each night of their trip so that Shikamaru had time to prepare himself. 

Kakashi and Shikamaru looked up from their discussion as Naruto lead Marinette into the room. To say they were surprised would be an understatement, was this Shikamaru's soulmate? She was so small! To the trained shinobi it looked like she wouldn't last a minute against an academy student. Marinette blushed when she saw the two men looking at her in a frank appraisal.

“Hi,” she said her voice almost a whisper it was so soft. All three men couldn't help but remember Hinata when she was still too shy to really talk to Naruto despite knowing they were soulmates. Kakashi looked at Shikamaru and knew that he would have to be the one to speak up.

“Yo, the name's Kakashi and I'm the Hokage here, unfortunately. Naruto says you are probably the soulmate of one of my shinobi?” Kakashi kept his voice friendly and light in the hopes of getting her to relax slightly and it seemed to work as she gave a small smile even though her shoulders were still tense. She then took her jacket off much to their surprise. They soon understood though when they saw the stag that ambled lazily down her arm then lay down as if it couldn't be bothered with all the fuss. Shikamaru glanced at the other two men before muttering “troublesome” and lighting a cigarette while leaning against the wall next to an open window. He was about to take a drag of his smoke when he glanced at the stag again and froze. The stag had a cigarette in its mouth too and Marinette was scowling

at it.

“I understand that he probably smokes to relax but seriously? I hate that habit!” Marinette muttered before looking up and blushing when she saw she was being watched again.

“Well, I think we can confirm you are Shikamaru's soulmate from that demonstration,” Kakashi chuckled. Marinette looked up sharply.

“What do you mean?” 

To avoid having to explain, Shikamaru stubbed out his cigarette and took off his jacket. Almost as if it knew he wanted it to be seen, his little Ladybug came scurrying down from his shoulder to sit on his forearm. Marinette looked at it in amazement as it sat calmly letting itself be seen. Marinette smiled at the sight of it then started to giggle which had everyone in the office looking at her in confusion which only caused her to laugh even more.

“I always knew my mark would be a Ladybug,” she said while taking deep breaths to try and control her laughter. She shook her head “Sorry it's just really funny to have it confirmed.” The shinobi stared at her in utter confusion until Shikamaru shook his head.

“Troublesome,” he muttered making Marinette look at him.

“Why is knowing what my mark would be but laughing when it's confirmed troublesome?” She asked in confusion.

“It's a Nara thing, I think,” Naruto said before Shikamaru could even think to defend himself. “Every time they actually have to do anything it's always 'troublesome'. Shika has said that to almost every new situation that he encounters as well as about most people for as long as I've known him!” Marinette took a moment to marvel at just how loud Naruto was even as she processed what he had said. She was about to say something when Naruto frowned and turned to face Kakashi again.

“Sensei I would like to request a blood test be run on Marinette.” He said rather formally.

Kakashi looked surprised. “I'll grant that request on the condition I get to know what we're meant to be checking for. Do you think Marinette is sick or...?” He let his voice trail off. Marinette was about to state that she was in perfect health when Naruto blushed.

“Oh! I think I used the wrong wording there. I meant a DNA test. Before you ask why I'll explain,” he continued in a hurry. “During my three-year training trip with ero-sensei he would occasionally get really drunk and say things that he normally wouldn't. Anyway, the one evening he mentioned that I had a twin sister when I was born but that she went missing a month later and ero-sensei was unable to find her nor could he find any trace of where she might have gone. I know it might be a long shot but Marinette mentioned that she was adopted and honestly looking at her eyes is almost like looking into a mirror at my eyes.” 

Silence met that last statement as everyone thought about what Naruto had said. Marinette looked at his eyes and saw what he meant. The resemblance was uncanny and with the rest of the coincidences, it stood to reason that what he said could be true! It would be amazing to find at least one member of her birth family she had to admit that she had had dreams of that happening ever since Sabine had told her she was adopted. She had to wonder if he had the Rinnegan too though or if it was just her.

Marinette had been so lost in her musings that she jumped when someone touched her arm. She looked at the person who had touched her and saw that it was a female with pink hair.

“Hi, sorry to scare you but you weren't responding when we spoke to you. My name is Sakura and I was Naruto's team-mate as well as Shikamaru's classmate. Anyway, I need to draw some blood so that we can get those tests done. I'm also going to give you the standard health check we give everyone who is new to the village just so that we have a base to work from should you ever need to see a doctor. So any injuries that are still needing to heal or anything that we should know ahead of time?”

Marinette blinked a couple of times at the barrage of words that had just been thrown at her.

“Um, yeah sure. Sorry, I guess travelling is starting to catch up with me. Injuries, um none that should be lingering but I broke my arm about six or so weeks ago so I'm being careful with it. I don't think there should be anything else...” Marinette said nervously. She didn't want to tell them about every injury she had had as Ladybug or even thanks to Lila so she kept quiet about them. She watched as Sakura's hands glowed green and she ran them over her doing a basic scan only to bite her lip as Sakura frowned.

“Well other then your body having almost as many healed injuries as Naruto you are physically fine. As you said, your arm shows signs of recent healing as do a couple of your ribs which I suspect you didn't know about as you didn't mention them. There is also some signs of recent weight loss and I hope that that was not due to dieting as you don't need to lose weight at all. I need to draw some blood now and run it down to the hospital but other than that I'm going to give you a clean bill of health. Are you able to talk about any of your previous injuries or should that be done in a more private setting? I know that it's not always easy to talk about one's past.” 

Marinette closed her eyes and reviewed her knowledge of how the shinobi villages ran then took a deep breath and asked if there was a way to seal the office for privacy. Once the barrier was set up she told the others in the office her story. It took most of the day to tell them everything, from how she was chosen as Ladybug to how Chat Noir constantly pushed for a reveal as he was convinced she was his soulmate but she had never caved to his demands. She told them how it was only due to a liars influence on her parents that they even revealed that she was adopted. She even revealed the fact that she had the Rinnegan, something that she had never revealed to anyone before. 

Subconsciously Marinette knew she was probably oversharing and that she needed to stop talking but now that she had started she was finding it difficult to stop. It was as though all the negative emotions and experiences had been building up for so long that although she had only meant to give them the bare bones of what had happened, by opening the bottle she had sealed everything in ever so slightly they were now all pouring out. By the time she had told them everything, her voice had grown hoarse and her eyes were red from the tears that she had shed. While she felt physically drained Marinette found that she was feeling much lighter than she had in a while, which told her just how much she had been carrying with her emotionally. 

It took Marinette about five minutes of self-reflection after she had finished speaking before she realised that nobody had said anything. She slowly raised her eyes to see if anyone had left while she was talking only to be tackled by Naruto who hugged her tightly as though he was scared she would crumble into nothing if he let go. Kakashi was looking at her with pure empathy in his eyes as if what she had said had struck a chord within him. Sakura was gripping the back of a chair as if to stop herself from walking out of the door and tracking down all those that had hurt Marinette to give them a taste of their own medicine. After hesitating slightly she let her eyes land on Shikamaru. She hesitated because she didn't want to see the disgust she was sure she would see in his eyes. She didn't know him at all and he hadn't said much since she had arrived so she had no idea how he would react.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * 

Shikamaru didn't know what to think when he walked into the Hokage's office that morning. Kakashi had sent a message saying that Naruto was on his way back with a girl who he suspected was the soulmate that he had been sent out to find. He knew that Naruto must have sent the message back with one of his toads saying that they would be arriving sometime that day and if he was honest with himself, he was nervous. Who wouldn't be? Sure the girl Naruto had found might be the soulmate of someone else that lived in Konoha and not his soulmate but Shikamaru was sure if that was the case then Naruto would have sent her to Konoha with someone else.

He was glad that they hadn't arrived yet when he walked in as it gave him time to get comfortable and to try to relax. By the time Naruto walked into the office with the girl though, despite having been chatting casually to Kakashi, Shikamaru was anything but relaxed. Perhaps it was due to his training or perhaps it was simply because he was male, Shikamaru couldn't help but notice how exceptionally pretty the girl was. Petite with ravens wing black hair and eyes so blue they could rival Naruto's, a grey jacket that must have been fitted at one stage but was now slightly loose on her. She waved shyly and greeted them and Shikamaru was surprised at how timid she was. His mark had always been vivacious and the tune in his head had always been bubbly, sure it had been muted recently but the fact stood that her behaviour was a contrast to what he had been expecting. 

When she revealed the shadow Shika deer soul mark wearing what was clearly a Konoha headband and Jonin flake jacket, Shikamaru found himself desperate for a cigarette so he moved to the window to indulge himself. When the others in the room started to chuckle at something he glanced over only to see that the deer had started to smoke too, only to get a muttered complaint from the girl. Sighing he killed his cigarette and made sure that his little ladybug was visible and was surprised not only by the fact that she started laughing but also by the fact that she had suspected that it would be a ladybug in the first place.

He stayed quiet for the rest of the conversation, deciding that he would rather learn more about her by observing her before he said anything, only to be thrown yet another series of curveballs. Being given a magical piece of jewellery at thirteen? Being known as a superhero? Having the Rinnegan? Being targeted by a pathological liar and having her life pretty much destroyed? How was his soulmate still sane considering she didn't have any support after her mentor had had his memory wiped? To say nothing of the injuries that Sakura had found.

It was taking Shikamaru every inch of his self-control to hold himself back from joining Naruto with his arms around her as those questions swirled around in his brain. Something of that must have been evident in his song as Marinette lifted her head then held out a hand to him which he eagerly took. 

“I know I will need to go for counselling and that I can't say ''I'm OK'' without it being hollow and meaningless but I'm still alive and I made it here safely. That has to count for something, right?” Marinette said softly while looking at him.

It was that simple moment that made everything click for Shikamaru. This was his soulmate and he would need to be there for her come what may. Sure she had issues but so did he so who was he to judge? He knew that if he wanted to be with her as more then a friend he would need to work on his communication skills and she would need to work on her confidence as it had been systematically destroyed. It wasn't going to be smooth sailing but Shikamaru was confident that things would work out for the best. 

A Few Years Later:

“Naomi Nara you're going to be late for school!” Marinette yelled from the kitchen where she was making breakfast. Shikamaru had come back from an S rank mission the night before and as such she was making all of his favourites. 

“Honestly I think she might be worse than I ever was,” Marinette remarked to Tikki in a much quieter voice. “I know I was a nightmare to get to wake up and to school on time but Naomi takes things to the next level!”

“It's probably my influence,” a sleep roughened voice came from the doorway causing Marinette to look up and see Shikamaru looking half asleep with a giggling pair of twins in his arms. “I'm pretty sure Ino and Choji can and have told you multiple stories of what I was like at Naomi's age.” 

Marinette looked at the boys in his arms so he just nodded showing that they were why he was awake instead of resting like he should be. At least he didn't have any injuries so he could still play with them without hurting himself. At six years old they were highly active which Marinette knew was their Uzumaki heritage coming through as Naruto had apparently been the same way.

Less than an hour later and the house was quiet again with all three of the kids at the academy. Marinette smiled as she walked into the bedroom and found Shikamaru half asleep on the bed. She climbed up next to him and he automatically moved to cuddle around her. Marinette smiled as she thought about how har things had come in the last few years.

“Hey, Shika?” Marinette started making him look at her curiously. “I know we said no more but, um, I'm pregnant.”

Marinette watched as all signs of sleep vanished from his face as he registered her news. She nodded slightly when his song tuned curious wanting confirmation and smiled as it turned to pure joy. Yes, life was good now, Marinette thought as he kissed her. 

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Dancing lessons.

Barry Berkman x reader

Hi there! So I was watching Friends yesterday and I came across the one where Joey speaks french, and then I was thinking about how in season 2 Barry already has his Headshots, and I wanted to write something about a false ability he could have put on his resume.

So this will be an 8 part series, and I will try to update it at least twice a week but can't promise anything.

Summary: Barry is finally cast in a feature, the problem? He said he could dance and now he can either disappoint Sally or found a way to learn some steps.

Warnings: Swearing, cheating maybe.

Part 1 ● Part 2 ● Part 3 ● Part 4 ● Part 5 ● Part 6 ● Part 7 ● Part 8 ● Epilogue

Part 1

A sharpie written ad in the door said: "Joe's friend callbacks" that could give him an idea of how unimportant this character was, because so far he didn't even had a name, nevertheless he was happy that they had call him back for a reason other than "You look good on the poster"

Although he was suspicious the "minor" changes Natalie and Sally had convinced him to do to his resume was the reason, he could not blame them, at first the page was empty and depressing, and now he appear to be a very compelling person, maybe someone he would like to be. Someone who could speak french and Italian, and had formal training in at least three styles of dancing, tango, salsa and tap.

Worst case scenario, they had said, there is someone better than you first and is just another bad audition. And so far it hasn't been a problem, people usually overlook that because they didn't need that on their movies.

But now it was different, there was at least three men in front of him and four behind all of them more or less his height and complexion, waiting to re read the lines for the upcoming movie, a place to dare dreaming. As far as he understood it was a drama about a men seeking meaning in life, and Barry was trying to be the best friend's best friend, he would have five scenes in the whole movie and was merely an excuse to make exposition questions and be gone for the rest of the movie.

Not a bad place to start, Sally said, and he might actually make connections and even find an agent. So he was there for some reason dressed with black loose pants and a loose blue shirt, just like the rest of them. Finally after another half hour or so the casting assistant exited the door and call for him.

"Hi, I'm Barry Block, reading for Joe's friend" He said looking at the people behind the table and he notice another woman there dressed as a ballerina, he was not entirely sure why.

"Fine, in this scene you are just finishing dancing with your partner, then Joe" The director point at a man who was already cast as the lead best friend "Yeah, Joe will call you to ask you something and then the scene starts"

Barry did as he was told, and when he was in the middle of telling Joe to go help the lead build the boat of his dreams or something like that the director interrupted him.

"Just one sec, Barry was it?" He said and Barry was already feeling the whole you are not what we are looking for speech coming. "It says here that you dance?"

"Um hum" He muttered every second more disconcerted.

"Tango? Janice you do tango right?" He asked the ballerina.

"No Andre, I only have a career in dance but I don't do tango" She said rolling her eyes "Of course I do" she and when the director look at her in exasperation.

"Then is settled, unless any of the other guys can dance we will go with Mr. Block here"

"Excuse me what?" Barry said a little lightheaded.

"Oh this scene, we originally wanted to have a big ballet dancing sequence that inspire Daniel, the lead to follow his dreams, but we scratched off because of the budget but since you can dance you and Janice can do a small version of it." Talk with Sophie on the way out we start on monday.

"Sure, thanks" he said with a calm voice and walked out to find the cast assistant.

"Mr. Block?" She said now a little more nice than when he entered in the morning. "You'll have to sing some documents and we will be ready"

"Sure, yeah fine, one question tho, what exactly does he mean Andre with me dancing with Janice?" He asked trying to sound casual

"Oh well since they are just adding the sequence I will say that they will tell you exactly what they want in a couple weeks and then you will have to rehearse with Janice and film it by the end of the next month" She said like it was no big deal.

"Two weeks?" He asked again and she could see that he was nervous.

"More or less, but I figure since you are an actual dancer that would be fine right?" He nod not very sure of her statement and she start looking in her purse and finally give him a card. "Look I won't tell you how to do your job, but if by any chance you are not convinced of what to do, you should go here, she may help you"

***

He shut the door of the apartment with enough strength to make one of the frames in the wall shake, of course he was furious. But it wasn't your fault and you wouldn't put up with his temperament. After 5 years of marriage Alan was finally beginning to understand that it was better to walk away and let things cool down before any of you could say something too painful.

And what could you say? You told him before you get married that you didn't want children and he married you anyway. He was not able to change your mind, that was no reason to scream and fight like that. You shake the thoughts from your head and pick up you bag, ready to walk down to the studio.

Your friend Sophie had made you a call earlier asking for your help with another lost case, and usually those pay well so you could surprise Alan with a nice dinner and maybe you would let him convince you to open up at the idea, at least for long enough to live peacefully.

You could tell who your new student was the minute you entered the studio, your assistant was talking with the other couples for the romantic dance lessons and he was in a corner looking at the door like he was planning an escape.

You take the attending list and seek for his name, Barry Block, you hope is not a sing of how hard will it be to make him move, but his large frame was telling you it will.

"Mr. Block?" You called him apart once you were dress in more comfortable clothes, he walked towards you and you could see he was at least 1 feet taller than you. "You work with Sophie right?"

"I do, I ... she said you could help me amm..."

"To make your dancing believable, yes, don't worry you are not the first nor the last actor that lies on an audition, but for future reference put something more achievable like learn Russian" You said part serious part kidding "Learning tango is complicated and demanding, is not just sexy dresses and fancy music, but since this is the land of dreams I can teach you a couple things"

"That would be great, and again I'm so embarrassed that this happened, but I need the job"

"Well that's another sad part of the story this class ain't cheap, and there's only so little I can do for you in three weeks"

"That's not a problem" He said immediately and took a little envelope from his pocket and gave it to you "This is for the first two lessons"

"Excellent, then we can start" You look at his clothes, jeans and a hoodie and very uncomfortable sneakers "You may need to change, and also stretch a little, we don't want accidents" you pointed to the dressing room and let him borrow a more lose pant and proper dancing shoes.

You finishes your lesson with the other couples and after and hour he, you and Macy your assistant were the only ones there.

"Ok for starters, that's not stretching" you told him once you saw he couldn't reach his toes. "Come sit here" You told him and sit in the middle of the floor with your legs completely extended and asked him to do the same.

"I'm not very use to this, I'm in shape as much as I can but this is different" He said awkwardly trying to reach his toes the way you did yours.

"If you don't mind me asking Mr. Block, why do you need the job?" You said standing up and helping him bend his back. "I don't think they will pay you more than I'm taking from you"

"Is not about the money" he said simply and took the hand you offered him to stand. "I need to prove myself I can be an actor, a real one, also my girlfriend is recording a show and I..." he star touching his hair distracted.

"You don't want to be left behind? Yeah I know what is like" You said to him. "Well in that case I would do my best, but for real you have to stop being so rigid" you said taking him by the hips and he flinch with surprise to then let go a chuckle

"I'm sorry" He said and you nodded and put your hands on his hips again "First we are going to have to work on that posture, lower just a bit your hips and bend your knees" You said pushing him down a bit.

"Like this" he said flexing down so much that he was almost at your height.

"Not at all, I'll show you, Macy come here" You call the girl who was already hiding her laugh behind a magazine, she put on some music on his phone into the speakers and walked towards you.

You took her by the waist and started just making simple walks at the rhythm of the music, showing him how he had to bend his knees but not making it all that evident, then when the next song star going faster you started making more quick moves and shen it turn slow you drag your leg inside slowly, and embraced Macy pulling her closer to you.

"Ok, I can definently not do that" he said once you were done, and you felt flattered to se some amusement in his face.

"I know, but we will figure something out" you smile at him and turn off the music to again trying to make him bend his knees properly.