#those two gifs will fuel me for a lifetime

[kaleldobrev]

Please Don't Leave

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: Dean's lucky to have you in his life and honestly doesn't know what he would ever do without you

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Cursing (3x), Fluff, Vulnerable/Angry Dean

Authors Note: The gif makes me sad | This might seem a little non canon but at the same time I honestly feel like Dean would react this way (fight me if you want, but I said what I said) | I just love this man so fucking much | Dream/Flashbacks are in italics | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

Dean didn’t have a lot of consistencies in his life, but you were one of them. Out of everyone he had known in his life, you were one of the only people that had remained with him through all the heartbreak, all of the death, all of the blood, sweat, and tears that this life had. You had been through it all with him: Sam going to Stanford and leaving him behind, his fathers death, him selling his soul, the year that Sam went to Hell, the year the two of you were in Purgatory, the few months he was a demon, his bloodlust fueled by the Mark, him being possessed by Michael. He had an endless list of things that the two of you had been through together, things that would cause any normal or rational person to throw in the towel; but not you. “You can’t get rid of me Dean Winchester, not even if you kill me yourself.” You had joked. And that was something that he had almost done – and on several occasions too. And yet, you never left him. “I guess I’m just stupid.” You said. “Or maybe the sex me and you have is just that good.”

The sex he had with you, now that was something. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced; and he has had quite a lot of sex during his lifetime (not that he bragged about it of course). When the two of you initially met, it was only supposed to be a working relationship, a friends with benefits sort of deal. But eventually it turned into more. He wasn’t sure where him or you had gotten your wires crossed but they did; and it turned into you and him always finding each other at the end of the night regardless of the different men and women that had hit on both of you at the bar you two were at.

The sex used to be quick, usually done in either a drunken haze or after a tough hunt. But it eventually turned into something that either one of you would initiate through soft touches: a kiss on the forehead, a simple hand hold, or cuddling into each other. Once, in the middle of sex, he wasn’t sure why he had said it but he did. He kind of just blurted it out. “I love you.” Now that was something he never thought he’d ever say during sex before. But here you were beneath him, staring up at him with those doe eyes of yours that you frequently had during sex and said, “I love you too.” It was something he didn’t expect.

Dean didn’t know what he could or would possibly do if you weren’t in his life; and that was something he didn’t want to think about. But it was something that has been an unavoidable thought as of late. Waking up to you was one of the worst but best things after a nightmare of losing you. He would wake up in a panic, his heart racing, sweating; afraid that you were gone for good this time. But without fail, every single time you would be right there next to him. Either sound asleep or awake enough to tell him, “It’s okay, I’m right here.” He would always reply the same way. “Just…please don’t leave.” It was a simple yet complicated sentence. “I’m not going to. I’d never leave you.” Those words that you always uttered back should have been comforting to him, but it was just an empty promise – even though he knows that’s how you never intended it to sound. In your heart you loved him deeply, and he knew that. He knew that you’d never leave him; the two of you have been through everything together. But when it came to this life, it was hard to make and keep promises like that.

“Dean, I just can’t do this anymore I’m sorry.” Your words had cut into him like a knife. Like he’d been shot hundreds of times. The torture he received from Hell combined with the loss of his mother was child’s play compared to what he was currently feeling. He just started blankly at the two duffel bags at your feet as you stood in the doorway of the room the two of you shared. Well, formally shared that is. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” You asked, your question snapping him out of whatever trance he was in.

“There’s nothing to say.” Of course there were hundreds, no thousands of things that he had wanted to say to you, but he knew that he couldn’t say any of it. As much as he wanted to beg for you to stay, he wasn’t going to make you stay. Once you made up your mind that was it; there was no convincing you.

You looked at him with a confused expression. “You don’t even want to know why I’m leaving?” You asked, and Dean simply shook his head. “Why not?”

“It doesn’t really matter.” He tried to keep his voice even, to make you believe that he was okay. But he could tell that you knew he wasn’t (you knew him long enough to know when he was or wasn’t okay).

“Dean.” You said, your voice sounding more heartbroken than his.

“It’s alright. You don’t…you don’t have to explain yourself.” He said, taking a seat on the bed you two once shared.

“I feel like you deserve an explanation. We were together for almost twenty years Dean.” You sat down next to him on the bed. He had just wanted to push you away or wrap you in his arms. Two completely differently reactions, but that’s the way he felt. “Dean.” You touched his shoulder and he flinched, you quickly removed your hand. “I love you, and I know you know that but –”

“Please just…stop talking. I really don’t want to hear what you have to say.” His voice was more hurt now, and he could feel himself trying not to say or do anything that he was going to regret. He wanted to cry, but he didn’t want you to have to see that, despite seeing him do it so many times before. “Just, leave if you’re going to leave.” You didn’t move, simply just staring at him. “Go!” He snapped, and that’s when you got up.

You walked over to your bags, slinging one over your shoulder and holding the other one in your hands. “Goodbye Dean.” You said, before walking out of the room. For a while he heard the sound of your boots down the hall, but they suddenly became faint, almost inaudible. The Bunker door opened and closed again. You were gone. Gone for good this time.

“You said you’d never fucking leave.” He whispered to himself. “Said you’d never fucking leave me.” He pounded the bed with his fist. “You fucking lied!” He got up from the bed and he felt himself start to lose control; no longer in control of the emotions that had been building up when he had started watching you pack up your bags.

Dean woke up abruptly, sitting up. He was panicked, his heart racing. His breaths were heavy, his chest moving up and down. He rubbed his face, trying to fully wake himself up. There was no way he would be getting back to sleep for a while; not after that nightmare. “Y/N -” he began to say as he looked over to his right side; your side of the bed. You were gone. “Sweetheart?” He asked, his hand reached out and touched the emptiness next to him: it was cold.

He looked up at the door to the bedroom which was slightly ajar. The only light in the room came seeping in from the hallway. He didn’t remember having the door open, the door was always shut whenever the two of you slept. Despite how safe the Bunker was, sleeping with the door closed added an extra layer of safety, not just for him, but for you as well.

A shadow appeared, blocking some of the light. He reached over and opened the drawer of his nightstand, slightly gripping his gun that he always kept there. Before he could fully wrap his hand around the weapon you squeaked inside the room and shut the door again quietly. A huge amount of relief washed over him in that moment as he let go of the gun and closed the drawer. “Dean?” You questioned, upon hearing the drawer close. “Baby are you okay?” You asked, walking to sit on his side of the bed. He looked at you as you placed a hand on his cheek. Your eyes full of worry.

“You were…” his eyes flickered to your side of the bed that had been empty when he woke up before looking back at you again. “You were gone. When I woke up you…”

“It’s okay. I’m here.” You reassured him, your voice calm.

“Where did you go?” He asked tiredly.

“The bathroom. I really, really needed to pee.” You said, Dean chuckled a little at your comment. “You know I wouldn’t willingly leave you right?” You reassured him again. You felt him nod in your hand.

“I know.” His voice sounding just a hint sad. “I uh, I feel stupid for freaking out.” The sentence was a whisper.

“There’s nothing to feel stupid about Dean.” Another reassurance. Dean had every right to react the way he did; he had lost so much, even before you had met him. You had been with him through everything. Witnessed so much loss and endured just as much. “Was it a nightmare?”

He nodded. “Yeah. It was the…the one where you break up with me.” You hated that one just as much as he did.

“I’m never going to break up with you. I love you too damn much.” You said, giving him a smile. You crawled into bed next to him getting underneath the covers. “Come here.” You held out your arms for him, and without hesitation he went into them. He wrapped his arms around your torso and rested his head on your chest; your arms wrapping around the back of his neck. Your fingers started playing with his hair, gently massaging his head.

The two of you sat there in silence, both of you with your eyes closed. You weren’t sleeping, but you were unsure if he was. Even if he wasn’t, his breathing was starting to get more even, he was starting to calm down. Hearing the sound of your heartbeat always calmed him down. “Y/N?” Dean asked.

“Yes my love?” You asked, opening your eyes.

He looked up at you briefly, tiredly. “I know I don’t tell you enough but…I’m really lucky to have you in my life. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.” He kissed your neck, as that was one of the only spots he could currently reach.

“I’m lucky to have you in my life too.” You responded, giving him a kiss on the top of his head.

“And Sweetheart?” He asked again.

“Yeah?” You asked.

“Thank you…thank you for not leaving me.” His voice sounding a little pained. The sound of this sentence had broken your heart a bit. Leaving Dean was never an option for you, no matter what had happened between the two of you. Being with him wasn’t easy, but you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. He was your person, the love of your life, your soulmate. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You kissed him on the top of the head again, and you could feel his smile.

That night, Dean didn’t have another nightmare, but he did dream. He had one of his favorite dreams; one that always gave him a sense of calmness and normalcy. The two of you would be just lying in bed together watching some random horror movie on tv. It was something that the two of you have done hundreds, no, thousands of times, so there would be no reason why it would be his so called favorite dream. What made it his favorite though was purely based on one small detail, a detail that made it known to him that it was in fact a dream: wedding rings would be on both of your fingers.

Someday maybe, he thought.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 @jackles010378 If you'd like to be on a tag list, just message me!

[farfromstrange]

New Year's Day | Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: You recount your history with Matt and the highs and the lows of your relationship.

Warnings: Fluff, descriptive writing & lack of dialogue, mentions of blood, but this is mostly very tame

Word count: 2.5k

A/n: This One-Shot is dedicated to my bestie, @blackshadowswriter. I'm a bit late, and I'm sorry for that. It took me a bit to finish. I just want to tell you how much I love and appreciate you. I also know you love Taylor, so I thought "why not write a fic and use as many song references as possible? She's going to LOVE that!" You're my favorite person in the world and you deserve this. I love you. I'm all out of words because I'm anxious as hell about showing you this. It took me two days to finish. I wanted it to be as good as I could make it. I'm still not 100% sure, but I never am when it comes to giving gifts. I hope you like it <3 (This is also why I'm not tagging anyone else because this is a gift for my best friend and I intended it as such)

From the moment you bumped into him on the corner street of your favorite café, you knew that he was the kind of chance that would only come around once in a lifetime.

It wasn’t like you, at least not back then, to buy a stranger a coffee. And it was even less like you to give him your number afterward.

You had never been big on dating at that point in your life. You used to take things exactly the way they came to you, and dating never really seemed to fit into that narrative.

You preferred to lose yourself in your own world, a world where no one could touch or hurt you the way you’ve been hurt so many times in the past by people who claimed to care about you—people who claimed to love you, and in the process, you lost sight of the fact that there are still a handful of good people out there.

No one can blame you for thinking like that though. Your heart has been broken one too many times, and not just by broken relationships. 

Deep down, you craved to find someone capable of understanding all of you, not just the pretty parts. You almost felt pathetic for pretending you didn’t need it and still thinking that way.

But deep down, you craved to find someone who wouldn’t be afraid of sticking around, someone who would never leave you because life tends to get hard.

It seemed nearly impossible to find a person like that without breaking your own heart, so you decided to retreat into your shell. Better to keep your heart safe and protected than put yourself out there and be broken all over again, right?

Those stupid love songs on the radio and the endless romantic stories of your friends’ dating lives, however, fueled your need for the same kind of connection only a few songwriters know how to put into words.

You wanted to fall in love, find the right person, and heal. You wanted to figure out why love wasn’t like the burning red of sex and passion but golden, like daylight. A love living for. A love fighting for.

You felt so stupid, secretly pining for an innocent childhood dream that eventually got crushed after years of heartbreak, but that is what happens when someone becomes chronically lonely. You turned to daydreaming because at least in your head, your life could be perfect. Not just good, not just livable, but filled with love and happiness.

Truth be told, when you’re your own worst enemy and have an inner saboteur set out to destroy everything that could be remotely good for you because you truly believe you don’t deserve it, it’s hard to allow yourself to be open. So perhaps that is why you chose to lock yourself away and live in delusion instead. Not facing reality became standard procedure in your way of life.

You tried blaming it on your past, your broken relationships, and disappointments, and while that played a big part in your trauma, you also slowly started to realize that you might have been hurting yourself so you wouldn’t have to open up ever again.

In an attempt to erase all the problems, you became the problem. You became your worst enemy, someone chasing ghosts that stayed long in the past and only came back to haunt the living shit out of you. But that’s a survivable condition. 

You tried therapy, you tried turning your life around and starting anew, and while that helped you find a job you love, find a nice group of friends, and make peace with what’s been broken, nothing else seemed to change. 

You had barely started putting yourself back together again when you bumped into him. You were late for a meeting, so your focus was on your phone instead of the street before you.

It was your fault. He was just trying to make his way over the sidewalk, his cane tapping in a steady rhythm to make his way forward, and you stepped right in the middle of it. 

You remember him grabbing your arm, catching you before you could fall. He wasn’t even irritated. When you looked up in shame, seeing the red glasses and the came, you begged for the floor to open up and swallow you whole. 

“I’m so sorry,” you said. “I wasn’t looking. Are you okay?”

But before you could go on a rant about your stupidity, he cut you off, and in the silkiest voice possible, he said, “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. Are you?” 

“What?”

“Are you okay? You seem in a bit of a rush. Don’t want you to accidentally bump into a car next.” He chuckled, adjusting his glasses. Blood rushed to his cheeks. “That was a bad joke, sorry.”

You just about melted. “It’s okay,” you found yourself chuckling. “And so am I. I was too focused on my phone. That was my fault.”

“Don’t blame yourself. It happens,” he said. He was so calm about it, unlike other New Yorkers you’ve met before.

Maybe the fact that you found him extraordinarily attractive and easy to be around compelled you to ask if you could buy him a cup of coffee to make up for bumping into him, completely abandoning your plans to make it to your work meeting five minutes late.

He introduced himself as Matthew. A lawyer. Not one of those rich defense attorneys who simply do it for the money. No, he does it to help people, and you fell for him right then and there. 

Maybe it was fate, maybe it was destiny, or maybe it was just dumb luck, but that day, when you got home after work, his number in your phone and a stupidly giddy smile on your flushed face, you knew that you’d somehow been enchanted to meet him. 

You never believed in love at first sight until you bumped into Matt Murdock, but the second you did, your life flipped upside down and changed in ways you could have never predicted. 

It is possible that the song playing over the speakers in the café right before you bumped him played a part in how you perceived the interaction. You’ve never been one to believe in coincidences. Nothing is ever accidental, and neither was your meeting. It couldn’t have been. 

You found each other when you needed someone, anyone, both of you, and it stuck. Thankfully, it did. 

Summer that year was cruel with New York drowning in an excruciating heatwave. You’d been meeting up with Matt for a couple of weeks, but you didn’t have it in you to put a label on whatever delicate thing was starting to build between the two of you. You didn’t want to wrap your hand around it and accidentally shatter something you could see growing into something more in the future. 

He was unlike anyone you’d met before, and he treated you in a way that made you believe, finally, that you are worthy of love. Not just giving but receiving because Matt himself struggled to see his worth after years of being disappointed and being there for everyone but himself. 

Love is a fragile thing though, and you have never been quite good with fragile things.

After a night of drinking away your sorrows at a nearby bar, you made your way to his apartment. You took a cab, too wasted to find your way there by yourself. You remember that you were crying; you were miserable and loathing yourself for several reasons that didn’t even make sense to you then.

When you arrived there, you knocked on his door. You didn’t get an answer. Just as you started to turn around and make your way back outside, you could hear a thud from the other side of the door. Panic settled in. You didn’t even hesitate before you opened the door, which was surprisingly unlocked, and made your way into the dark interior of his apartment. 

Finding your blind, catholic not-boyfriend in a pool of his own blood, wearing a leather-clad suit with the horns of the devil had not been on your to-do list until that night. Reality hit you just as fast and knocked sobriety back into your senses as the adrenaline started to take over. 

He let out a grunt. Your name passed his lips. He sounded so weak, so fragile, and you just stood there, your heart pumping too much blood for your body to handle. 

“What the fuck?!” you said. You didn’t yell, you didn’t snap, you simply didn’t know how to process this information. 

You were well aware of the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen parading outside at night, beating up criminals and giving them a good fright—Matt did not fit the picture you had of the guy until you saw him lying there, obviously injured. 

“It’s not what it looks like,” he said hoarsely. He tried to roll over, but the pain turned out to be too severe. 

Needless to say, he passed out on you without a proper explanation, and you somehow had to use what little you could remember from first-aid to help this bleeding mess of a man. You feared that you would lose him that night, and that was when you realized that, on top of falling for him, you didn’t care who he was, you only needed him to live.

When he woke up to you hovering over him, he groaned. “I’m sorry,” was all he said. “I’d understand if–”

“Don’t talk,” you cut him off with a finger on his lips. You wouldn’t let him push you away. Not after everything you’d been through.

He tried to sit up. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“It’s not exactly something you lead with on a first date. I get it. What I don’t get…”

“I didn’t lie,” it was his turn to cut you off. You remember looking up at him, and you heard him out. You had to. In your mind, there is an explanation for everything, and you were once again proven right at that moment.

He bared his life story to you, how he survived through tragedies no human should ever have to face. How he turned blind, how his senses heightened, and how he lost the one person he could always count on. When his father died, something changed in Matt. He tried to go straight, to do his father proud, but he couldn’t ignore this desperate need for justice forever. He felt cursed. So, he became someone who could make a difference, and not just as a lawyer.

He expected you to walk out, but you didn’t. You saw him for who he was, and you accepted him.

“I think I’m falling for you, and it scares the hell out of me,” you blurted out that night.

He stared at you, his unfocused eyes bewildered, his lips moving soundlessly as he tried to find an answer.

Just when you thought he would break your heart after putting your trust in him, he let out a shaky sigh and he kissed you.

He wasn’t ready to say it back just yet, but he spoke to you through actions that made you feel confident in what you were growing again.

You somehow already knew back then that Matt Murdock would be the man you one day would marry and spend the rest of your life with. 

The truth is, you two have been through a lot throughout your relationship. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing, but you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t worth it. 

From the moment you met him to the countless dates, sharing coffees over empty takeout containers, kissing in the rain, Daredevil, fighting over the beautiful women in his life that almost broke you, and fighting over his desperate need to push those away who only want what is good for him because he is own worst saboteur.

It all led you down a journey that turned out to be harder than expected and not at all the love story you envisioned, but it still turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to you. He is the best thing that has ever happened to you. 

You used to run away from happiness out of fear of getting hurt, and Matt did the same. He feared to admit it, but then he met you and he finally realized that running was of no use because you were more than ready to stick around through everything. Through every disaster and heartache—through every broken bone, you stuck around.

You saw something in him from the moment you met that no one can ever take away. You got a taste of heaven from the devil himself, and even though he was darker than the sunshine you wished for in your life, you managed to find a way to bring some light into his life. 

You are sunshine, even on your worst days, and he’s midnight rain. But you love the rain. You love him. 

Your first kiss happened in the rain. He took your hand and asked you to dance, and you did. You danced to the sound of the raindrops pattering against the asphalt beneath your feet, and it was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen—Matt engulfed in the soft moonlight, his hand in yours, and a big smile on his irresistible lips. 

You want more of those nights. Even the nights you’ve had to patch him up or hold him as he broke down from all the weight he often enough carries on his shoulders, you want more of those. You want all of them.

You want him and all the strings attached to him, no matter how painful because ever since he can remember, people have walked out on Matt and hurt him in ways you can only fathom. You don’t want to be that person. 

He opened up to you. He decided to be vulnerable. He stood with you through everything and fought for you when you thought you two wouldn’t last.

He gave you his best smile and his tears, and he laughed with you every night that you waited up for him to come home safely. He quickly became the moonlight to your sun—it is a different kind of light, but it is a light that sustains you nonetheless. 

You want all of his laughter and never miss it again. You want his smiles. You want his tears. You want to spend every waking second with him. You want to miss him and welcome him back home after an agonizingly long night of worrying. You want to cheer him up in court and be his lucky charm. You want to wear his initial on a chain around your neck, in Braille, because he got it for you on your birthday. 

“I know I don’t own you,” he said to you, “but I love you. And I know you. I want you to carry me close to your heart the same way I’ll always carry you close to mine.”

And his, you are. You’re no one else’s but his, and even if that sounds a bit territorial, you don’t care. You want all of it and more because it’s Matt you’re talking about, no one else. Not a stranger but the man you love so desperately it hurts sometimes.

All the girls he loved before don’t matter because he’s got you now. You forgave him more times than he probably deserved. You held on when he barely had any strength left. In return, he has shown the same kind of devotion to you time and time again. How can you ever say no to any of that when you are so in love? 

All those memories replay in sudden flashing sequences right in front of your inner eye. You love him more than anyone has ever loved him. You pulled him out of a very dark hole. You saved his life. And he saved yours. 

As he’s kneeling in front of you now, your hand in his and clutching the small, velvety box in his other, your life passes by before your eyes. Your life alone and your life together. You recount every memory in a millisecond, too shocked to even comprehend what is happening. But it is happening. 

Matt Murdock is kneeling on the floor before you, the glitter, confetti, and sticky champagne someone spilled earlier most likely leaving a stain on his good dress pants, but he remains unwavering in his decision to open that little box and show you what he’s been hiding for a while. 

It’s a diamond ring, something he probably took months to save up for. It’s small yet elegant, and it’s staring right at you. He’s taken his glasses off to try and do the same. You would marry him with paper rings, that much is true. 

Matt says your name oh-so-softly. “Will you marry me?” Four words that stop your heart and restart it at the same time. 

He sees right through you. You see right through him. Even in your worst times, you were there for each other, and now he’s asking you to spend the rest of your life with him. Together. To give him all of your days and nights and he will give you all of his in return. He is asking you the question you’ve been wondering if he would ever ask it, and he did. 

The fireworks go off in the distance, in your stomach, everywhere. The new year has rounded the corner. People are cheering and celebrating around you, but you don’t pay attention to them. 

The clock strikes midnight and with the softest smile, you say, “Yes.” You don’t need to tell him that you would do it a million times over because he knows. He knows your heartbeat, and he knows that you would never lie to him. 

He doesn’t waste time to pull you into his arms and kiss you softly, passionately, as if both of your lives depend on it. 

It’s a bit cliché, to get proposed to on New Year’s Eve. To start the new year with the man you love and a ring on your finger. But that only means that you will still be together on New Year’s Day, and all the days after that. 

Matt chose you. You chose Matt. You chose a life together that is as unpredictable as they come, but at least you have each other to hold onto. 

And he will never be just the stranger that you bumped into in front of your favorite corner café ever again. You have him now. Maybe that was your plan all along. Maybe you are the mastermind he knows that you are. None of it was accidental. 

And now, Matt Murdock is yours. Forever and always. 

[astro-menace]

Zodiac signs as Taylor swift qoutes

Applies to Sun,Moon,Rising,Mercury,Mars,Venus

Scorpio ♏️:There are two ways you can go with pain.You can let it destroy you or use it as fuel to drive you.

Gemini ♊️: I think I fell in love with words before I fell in love with music.

Aries ♈️: To me, Fearless is not the absense of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.

Pisces ♓️: I’ve found time can heal most anything and you just might find who you're supposed to be.

Leo ♌️: Never believe anyone who tells you that you don't deserve what you want.

Taurus ♉️ : Beauty is sincerity.There are so many different ways someone can be beautiful.

Libra ♎️ : If you go too far down the rabbit-hole of what people think about you, it can change everything about who you are.

Cancer ♋️: Don’t worry. You may think you’ll never get over it. But you also thought it would last forever.

Virgo ♍️: Just because as human beings, what we can't have is what we reply in our head over and over again before we go to sleep.

Capricorn ♑️: My parents raised me to never feel like I was entitled to success.That you have to work for it. You have to work so hard for it. And sometimes then you don't even get where you need to go.

Sagittarius ♐️: No matter how hard you try to avoid being cringe, you will look back on your life and cringe retrospectively. Cringe is unavoidable over a lifetime. Even the term cringe might someday be deemed cringe.

Aquarius ♒️: Unique and different is the new generation of beautiful. You dont have to be like everybody else.

[tayfabe75]

"'Robbers' was originally inspired by my love of the Quentin Tarantino film True Romance, the story of an Elvis-obsessed loner who falls in love and marries a prostitute. In the movie, the couple run away to California after killing her pimp and stealing his drugs to start a new life financed by a once in a lifetime drug deal. It's the sentiment behind the film that appeals to me, the hopelessly romantic notion that two people can meet and instantly fall in love, an escape story where love is the highest law and conquers all against the odds. Characters like Bonnie and Clyde always appealed to me as a teenager – couples so intoxicated with one another that they fear nothing in the pursuit of the realization of each other, actions fueled by blind unconditional love. 'Robbers' is an ode to those relationships. The type of relationship all humans long for. All or nothing. This video is about when love makes two people feel they are the centre of the universe."

2013: Matty describes the inspiration behind the song 'Robbers'. (source)

[illadvisedselfships]

Merry Christmas in Australia!!!!

I have something to offer you on this holly holiday. F/O Christmas imagines!

Imagine celebrating Christmas with Callahan. He's pretty loaded, so you're definitely getting high end gifts. Buuuuuttt that's not all! You know those Christmasy fun things you see on YouTube or TikTok that you want to do, but you know it's out of your pay grade? Like a hot chocolate bar, or more fancy baked desserts that require specific ingredients? Well, sure Callahan is a jerk... But, for you, I'm certain he'll accommodate whatever you want to try... As long as you return the favor with whatever he wants to do with you 😏

Imagine trying to pull Cruella away from work. Before you, she probably worked through Christmas if she wasn't invited to any masquerades or parties. This year, nothing of the sort happened, so your mean wife is trying to get a head start on her spring fashion line. But you know that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to have a nice, at-home Christmas with your high class Cruella. Cruella may not be so easily swayed by your femine wiles like Callahan, though you are the only one on the planet who has a smidgen of a chance at getting Cruella out of her office and in her furs with a mug of cocoa. Do you succeed?

Imagine a cozy little Christmas with Jim!! He is a tad upset he didn't get a good poaching job before; he really wanted to treat you this year his inner sugar daddy shines through on your birthday and Christmas I bet. But you know how to take his mind off of it ^^ you tell him you don't need some fancy present or anything like that. All you need is your favorite outdoors man, some Christmas movies and snacks, and a blanket big enough for you two to share- or better yet, one of his flannels 😏

Imagine that since Otis celebrates Christmas early for you, you don't have to worry about fitting him in your Christmas Visits schedule so much. You can see him first! I.... Can't guarantee that the way the Fireflies celebrate Christmas is very family friendly. But I can say that Otis is definitely gonna try to be gross about the mistletoe tradition with you. Also, you can get away with putting a Santa hat on him this year. He'll be a grump about it, act like he doesn't want it, but note how he doesn't take it off (if it were Baby, he would have. But it came from you ^^)

I hope these put a smile on your face! Even if they are a little OOC I bet 😅 Merry Christmas!

Merry (belated) Christmas Eve In America!!!

SARAH!!

I completely wasn't expecting this- thank you so so much!! As you know I accidentally woke up way too early but it was completely completely worth it to read this and thank you before all the Christmas craziness began!!

Ahhh! These are so perfect, my heart is feeling all squirmy!! XDD They fueled me all day XD No really, whenever I got tired 💤💤💤 I started thinking about them and felt better XD

And- of course- I couldn't help it and had to write lil x reader excerpts for each of these ideas below the cut XDD I wanted to write them all, but the Christmas vibes are slipping away from me- so I just did Callahan and Otis! (Truly couldn't resist XD) XD I LOVED THEM ALL, THOUGH, I ASSURE YOU! XD

(Professor) Callahan x reader:

You weren't sure about staying over Christmas eve and spending Christmas morning with Aaron- it seemed pretty close. Intimate. Sentimental, for him. Sure, you were becoming closer but he didn't seem the type to do Christmas.

Definitely a Scrooge type, you thought.

But you're surprised to see him put in some effort this morning! Sure, he's just sitting there at the kitchen table with bedhead in his pyjamas (An oddly casual navy blue t-shirt and sweatpants combo that always makes you feel a little hot. Or a lot depending on how close he stood to you) drinking a black coffee while you open up expensive presents he shouldn't have got you and peer excitedly into a box of beautiful Christmas breakfast pastries he ordered this morning for you both, but its nice. Its... conventional, except for the fanciness of his townhouse and the gifts he got you. Its just the two of you, not flirting not fucking not arguing, just spending an almost domestic Moment together. It would almost be traditional, if it weren't for the nature of your relationship hanging over your heads- though you don't really mind that. Its cosy!

Finally after thanking him profusely for the gifts, and telling him he really didn't need to get you that much!!, you go get him his present; setting it in front of him with a childish Christmas eagerness. "This one's for you! Go ahead, open it."

"I can see you wrapped it yourself," He teases, picking it up with one hand and silently laughing at the crazy bad wrapping. Sighing and rolling your eyes with a grin, you shake your head at him and urge him to go on then- go on- stop harassing me about my sad gift wrapping skills and open it!

While he opens it, telling you he was looking for one of these when he realises what it is, you go and pick out a pastry for yourself and a Christmas tree donut for him, and sit down in the chair beside him; angling your knees towards him and resting your own feet on top of his under the table. He picks up the donut and gives it a good assessment, smirking in amusement at the silly food.

Meanwhile you wait a moment, thinking about it (About how unexpectedly good this morning has been with him so far. How warm you feel inside spending it with him. You really never expected it to be good like this, you expected him to ignore the holiday, but he did all this for you... ), before leaning over and gifting him a sweet kiss on the cheek. You couldn't help it. "Thank you, Cal, Merry Christmas."

"As much as I like my gift Y/N, you can pay me back in bed later." He tells you offhandedly, not even looking up from his curious silly breakfast. You almost laugh.

"Of course." You grin instead, shaking your head.

Otis B Driftwood x reader:

After the kiss under the mistletoe that leaves your lips bruised, your mouth tasting of all the shit that Otis puts in his (An amalgamation of bad alcohol, smokes, some cum, some blood, and bad - sometimes off, - food tasting something like rot and battery acid), and your ass in need of an ice pack from the way he squeezed it, he tries to just give you a dirty filthy smirk and leave you there- but you dig your fingers into the front of his tight shiur before he can and draw him back to you. "Not so fast."

"Wh- "

"Hold on." Giving him a mischievous look, you reach with one hand into your deep coat pockets (Your other hand still holding him there) and pull out something red and white, and fluffy. Immediately a groan rolls out of your feral boyfriend, his head actually falling back a moment. Your eyes widen at him with that cheeky smile, and you nod. "Uhuh, yes."

"Fuck. no."

"Fuck yes." You don't wait for him to agree, you know he never will; you just reach up onto your tip toes against him and pull the santa hat on over his hair. When you settle back down onto the heels of your feet and take in the full picture, his cranky unamused, bearded frown and stormy blue eyes and that innocent-looking santas hat on his head!!, you cant help but laugh. "You look so good!!"

"Aghh,"

"Really!" You laugh, covering your mouth. "I think I'm hot."

"Right." He rolls his eyes, setting his strong scarred hands on his hips- but not taking it off. That really just shows how good a mood he's in; allowing you your little joke. There's even a ghost of a smirk on his mouth. "Sure. I believe that crap."

Spurred on by his almost pleasant demeanour, you give him mommy finger and add; "You gotta keep it on the rest of the night.", a teasing grin on your lips to match his.

Giving a sigh and a shake of his head, Otis just shrugs at you, like- fucking fine! whatever~, walking off towards the drinks table. You watch him go, tucking your thumbs into your back pockets, the softest look on your face. If he was always like this... well, its not a thought even worth thinking about. But- its nice, when he is.

[cillspropertea]

Flipped

Gif: Yo-whats-up23

Chapter 8: Grass

The reader is Aberama Gold’s eldest daughter, Esmeralda Gold in this fic.

Warnings: suffocation, panic attack, emotional distress, mentions of injuries

 This fic might have dark themes which may irritate or offend some readers. But if you’ve seen Peaky Blinders and are familiar with Thomas Shelby, you’ll be okay.   The story, plot, character histories and back stories might not be relevant to the original “Peaky Blinders” . Warnings will change per chapter. This is my first fic. Hope you all like it. English is not my first language.

 Do not hesitate to comment, reblog and engage. It works as fuel for my writing. 😉💙💙

 Synopsis: Your father’s one mistake shall alter your life’s direction forever.

 Word count: 2273

Esmeralda Gold

    You sat in your room in the middle of the night, wincing and grimacing at the pain you were in. The ruptured wounds on your muscles had turned bluish yellow and were pretty sensitive to touch, the three gash like injuries, near your head, shoulder and ankles, had a different, burn like sensation, whenever you wanted to sleep it seemed.

    It had been almost two weeks since the meeting and you had hardly gotten out of your room ever since. You had not planned any of it when Polly had literally pushed you out of the room to attend this family discussion. “This is me giving you the family that you deserve love!” Polly had pleaded with a hand on yours. “I have no family, and I don’t plan on being a part of one in any near future as well!” you had replied, honestly and genuinely. ‘The pain and agony my last family has honored me with is enough for a lifetime, at least’ you’d thought tiringly. “I won’t force you. It’s your decision in the end. Just attend this one and then you can decide.” Polly was relentless. As soon as she felt you contemplating your answer rather than throwing it at her straight away, she softly tugged your arm and helped you walk to where the meeting was being held.

    Walking in, you had seen the faces but had never known the names of everybody in there. You had Known Arthur as the ‘mustached man’ when they’d taken you from… you couldn’t even think about those two days. The memories brought back too much suffering and torture. But then, later the other day, when Polly had come to your room and told you how everyone, including her older nephew Arthur, who had recently been wounded due to some bad business with some foreigners, was going to be living in the Arrow house for a few days, you’d figured it out.

    Sitting in that room, during that meeting, you felt like puking. What in the actual fuck were you doing there? Those people, those Shelby’s too had a hand in everything that had unfolded in that ground with you. And then he’d started speaking. The main man. The culprit. ‘If my name hadn’t come out of his mouth that day during that idiotic wager... If he wouldn’t have taken advantage of me that night, leaving that mark…’ You did not want to look up, did not want to give a face to the person who’s planning and actions had brought you into all of this mess, had almost gotten you killed.

     What had he done with you in that room that night? The thought alone made you gag. Your mind had started whirring too fast so you’d decided to focus on this one spot on the floor, until the whole danm meeting was over. But then he’d called your name. More than that he’d called you ‘Miss. Gold’, the audacity of this man! You’d looked at him, and had been stuck for a tiny moment. The eyes, you had not expected the eyes to be so…. Clear and blue and… intimidating. But when he’d started saying all those words, as if you were a part of his agenda for the day, like apologizing was just going to get him a clean slate that easily, like him making amends will undo everything that had destroyed the meaning of your life. Your simmering anger and pain had boiled over in that moment. You had not realized your actions until you were out of the door. It was as if someone had taken over you. Your fury perhaps? Getting to your room, as fast as your state allowed, you locked it from the inside. The rush you had gotten later on was insane. You were sweating and breathing hard as you rubbed your stinging hand.

    Two weeks had passed after that meeting and your interaction with the family, which was already limited prior to it, reduced to none at all. None of them bothered either, having their own shit to deal with, you had gathered that much from the meeting. Plus the fact that the blue eyed Shelby, was not popular amongst the family too, not positively at least. The maid brought your meals in the room, which mostly returned untouched as for some reason you just couldn’t keep anything down lately, so what was the purpose of eating then? Polly came to visit at least once through the day. And Charlie, boy did that little munchkin adored you. He always walked in with such a command, demanding your attention. He was your only highlight of your day. His father on the other hand, had been avoiding you just like you were avoiding him. Surely your actions had hurt his ego, you’d assumed. ‘Good riddance’ you’d thought.

    Silently, you’d gotten up and padded towards the window. You were feeling hot all of a sudden, so you’d decided to get near the opened window, but it was no help. Sighing, you felt your sweat stricken forehead. A panic attack was on its way and you knew it. You were feeling suffocated ‘No one… there is no one…’ you tried to take in air but it was as if your lungs were not functioning anymore. ‘I deserve this… I deserve these wounds… I deserve this pain… I deserve this loneliness...’ you were hyperventilating now as you backtracked and ran out of your room. Running down the stairs you ran outside to the vast grounds surrounding the house. You kept on running as fast as you could. Your bare feet protesting against the rocks and debris hitting them as you sprinted, to or from what you didn’t know.

    Suddenly your feet couldn’t keep up anymore and you fell, face down into the dry grass. The smell of it, the ground and the earth brought down so many memories. They flashed before your eyes like a film. You playing with Diana, how she would cook for you your favorite meals, how she would shelter you from Da and Gran when needed but most of all the way she gave you importance. You were never invisible to her. You had your own identity in her eyes, a place which no other children of hers had been able to take away over the years. Her voice in your ears rang again, ‘‘it’ll be fine. You’ll get through this. Soon the sun shall shine. Soon the birds shall sing. Soon the darkness will be gone. And you’ll be with me again’ your palms bawled in the grass as a dam of emotions broke free from inside of you. You wailed and screamed as the pain poured out of you. You had not cried at all after the courtroom. You had felt that if you let yourself cry then you will lose your strength and you did not want to look powerless in front of those betraying imbeciles, until the end at least.

     You sobbed for your unknown birthmother, who was a stranger to you but her pain and story had brought a strong sense of familiarity between you two. You felt your body getting so light with exhaustion that you felt like you were floating in the air. Getting on your knees, hiccupping, you wrapped your arms around yourself, as if trying to put together your own broken pieces as you heard a gun clicking from behind you. It was him, the blue eyed devil himself.

Thomas Shelby

    “What the fuck!” he exclaimed as he realized it was her. He immediately put the gun away. ��Stay the fuck away from me! You fucking monster stay away!” she screamed, her voice already hoarse from crying so hard. She started walking again, away from the house, away from him. “Where are you going?” he asked, following her. She hurried her pace, “Away from all of this. Away from you…” she started running again. Thomas moved fast too, getting a hold of her arm, he tried to stop her when they both fell down. She was struggling, moving herself like a bird trying to flap away from a net. He got a hold of her hands and clasped them over her head with his, holding her body down with his own. “Let me go, let me the fuck go you Devil!” she tried to move but he was stronger. “Just calm down… take a deep breath” he said, his voice soft as he tried to encourage her to inhale and exhale with him. “Are you going to do it again?” she gritted, willing her rigid body to not move. “What?” Tommy frowned. “Are you going to rape me again?” His eyes went wide, “Nothing happened that night!” Tommy exclaimed. His face mere inches from hers as their breaths mingled. “You’re lying… the mark on my neck…” Esmeralda shook her head slightly, glowering. “It was a mistake, I was drunk, but as soon as I saw it wasn’t…” he closed his eyes for a moment before he looked into hers again. “… As soon as I had realized it was you, I stopped…” This was not making sense to Esmeralda at all. ‘He had to be lying, there is no way…’ in that moment Tommy noticed the lack of space between them both. He exhaled and simply rolled off of her. With their backs on the grass, both of them were breathing heavily. Still wanting more assurance Esmeralda sat up and muttered, “So you did not…. Ahem… do it to me then?” She asked avoiding his face and hiding her own behind a curtain of her hair. “No I did not fuck you Esmeralda.” Still looking away, he got up and offered a hand to help her up too. She was stunned. ‘If this was true then he … no he still made you a part of the wager… but then Da’… your father should have backed out…” She felt more confused than ever.

    She looked at his open palm and then at his face, contemplating. But then stood up on her own anyway. Dusting her now filthy dress, her legs protested as the rush subsided and the usual pain returned along with her senses. Plus the exhaustion that came after the panic episode. She just wanted to lie down now.

     Silently Tommy turned and started walking towards the house, picking up his weapon on the way too. If she wants to leave, it was fine with him. Keeping her as a captive was never his or his aunt’s intention anyway. But he smirked and shook his head when he heard crunching dried grass behind him.

    When they reached the threshold of the house Tommy spoke softly, making sure only her ears could hear, “Let’s have a proper conversation tomorrow, eh? Clearly there are things that need to be addressed between the both of us.” She was still avoiding his gaze. His eyes were too penetrating and she felt too vulnerable while looking in them. Looking down she said, “I’ll think about it…” and walked away towards her room.

 Esmeralda Gold

    Early in the morning, the nurse had arrived from the hospital for your weekly check-up. “Everything seems to be fine Miss. It will take time but you’ll be okay. Even the scars will go away, but as I said, it’ll take time” ‘I’ll never be okay’ she further scolded you about how Mrs. Gray had informed the Doctor of your lack of appetite and irregularities while taking your medicines, you’d nodded numbly. As the nurse started packing her stuff you had an idea. Biting your lip, you knew this was the only way to know if what ‘he’ had said last night was true or not. Losing a breath, you mustered up the courage to just say it. “Nurse? I need your help in a matter. Would you help me?” the nurse, who’s young and kind face reminded you of your sisters, smiled “Sure. What is it Esmeralda?” here we go, “I want you to check if I’m a virgin or not.” You scrunched your eyes, bracing yourself for her reaction. When you opened your eyes you saw her wide eyes and gaping mouth, you knew you’d have to explain. “You see, I think something happened to me when I was asleep a little while ago…” the girls opened mouth turned into a knowing smile as she bobbed her head in some kind of understanding. “Oh it’s okay… I understand! Girls your age are bound to make some mistakes… some experimentations with your man got you worried huh?” ‘Wait what?’ “Um.. no I don’t think you understand!...” she cut you off. “Its okay, no judgment I promise… Just lie down and relax…” you decided there was no point in giving any explanations as they wouldn’t make sense to her at all. So you just laid down and exhaled not sure what you were hoping for but subconsciously you thought, if what he had said was true then what?

-----

    As soon as the nurse had left Frances, the maid, had knocked and informed you how Mr. Shelby awaited your presence in his office.

    On your way you bumped into Aunt Polly. She put her arm through yours saying she was going to his office too. Just before you both could knock and enter, the door to the office opened and out came a white as sheet Thomas Shelby. Polly sprang into action immediately getting a hold of his shoulder, “What is it Thomas? What’s happened?” He looked into Aunt Polly’s eyes with an expression you could not understand, “John… John is dead!”

[iheardarumorthings]

ooooh can you expand on those hcs of the reader enjoying the feeling of sucking the life out of people- i live for the corruption angst oops

oh god me too... i just love it when they turn evil, don't you? hope you love them!!

warnings: um... angst? corruption? loveliness? murderer reader? everything we've all been waiting a lifetime to see?

PART TWO TO LIFE-SUCKING!READER HEADCANONS

“Come on, (Y/N). We can fix this. We just have to try. Please.”

Tears were uncharacteristically streaming down his face

That wasn’t supposed to happen

Every life you took, every soul you had stolen only fueled you further

Not even Five could stop you

You were the addict and life-sucking was your high

If you died… if he killed you, you would never feel that high again

Diego, laying there dead next to you was a point of that

You cared about Diego, about all of them

That only proved to Five that his life was in danger… in danger from the one person he believed would never cause him harm

You saw him fall out of love with you the second your fingers wrapped around his wrist even as you were whispering how sorry you were

How much you loved him

How you would see him on the other side and you would never fall again

When he was there, next to Diego in very much the same situation only one thought occupied your head

It wasn’t supposed to be this way

[reidsmemory]

No Regrets

Spencer Reid

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: A dinner at Rossi’s has Spencer questioned by his teammates about his feeling towards you

Genre: Fluff

not my gif!

     Working at the BAU was hard. Constant flights around the country, seeing families that had lost so much, and of course having to deal with the sick minds of those who allowed your job to be possible. There were good sides to it as well; having a second family, friendships that would last a lifetime and more, as well as reuniting and saving innocent people. 

     Today was one of the good days. It was a local case and the team had caught the killer in less than two days due to the profile and him being just about the most unorganized killer their was. To celebrate, Rossi had offered to host a nice dinner at his and no one on the team passed up the chance to go over there. 

     You arrived a few hours after the case had wrapped up as you had gone home to take a shower and get ready. You had arrived in a flowy, black dress and some black sandals to match with your hair straightened as well as having little gold hoop earrings hanging from your ears. 

     You got out of your car and walked over to the front door of your colleagues house as you rang the door bell and waited for it to open.

     “Y/N, come on in,” Rossi swung open the door and ushered you to come through the doorway. “ Did you get home okay?” he asked as we walked to the kitchen.

     “Yeah, traffic wasn’t too bad,” you smiled as your other co-workers came into sight. 

     “Princess! You look stunning,” Derek called as he opened his arms, signalling for a hug. 

     “Not too bad yourself, D,” you hugged him tightly as he chuckled a bit. With an arm still around your shoulder you pulled back and greeted everyone else with a warm smile. JJ and Will as well as Henry were sitting at the other side of the island than you and Derek. Emily was standing next to Rossi as he as teaching her something about the food you all would be eating tonight. Hotch, Penny, and Reid had yet to arrive. 

     “Drink?” Derek asked as you nodded and he handed you a glass of water. 

     “So, no Savannah?” you asked as he shook his head.

     “She’s got a shift at the hospital tonight,” he told you, “leaving me all alone tonight.” 

     You laughed at his statement, “I think it’s payback for all the night we were out of town.” He hummed and took a swig of his beer. The chiming of the doorbell rang through the house as you looked to Rossi, “I’ve got it,” he nodded at your statement as you put down your glass and started walking towards the door.

     You opened it to find Penny in a bright pink dress with a yellow and green shall as well as some purple heels. “Am I late?” she asked before hugging you tightly. 

     “Not at all,” you said as you both turned to see Hotch’s car pull up, “looks like Spence is the last one to arrive.” Penelope nodded as you saw Hotch and Jack come towards the house. “Go ahead, I’ll wait for them,” you told the blonde as she nodded and went inside.

     Hotch spotted you by the door and pointed to Jack as his eyes lit up as he began running towards you. “Y/N!” he exclaimed as he jumped into your arms.

     “Hello, mister! You look amazing!” you said as he giggled and hid his face in your neck. “Hey, Boss,” you said as Hotch gave you a side hug.

     “I’m pretty sure Jack likes you more than he does me,” Hotch told you as you went into the house. You smiled at him as Jack had taken a fascination towards your earrings. “What’s Rossi cooking up?” 

     “As far as I can tell, something that smells really good.” Hotch chuckled as you came to the kitchen and everyone turned their attention towards the three of you. Everyone began conversing again as you walked over to Derek with Jack still attached to your hip.

     “Let’s move over to the couch, yeah?” Derek said as you nodded and went to the joint living room. You put Jack down on the couch as Derek followed and soon JJ, Will, and Henry. Smiling as Henry began to share his action figures with Jack as both boys urged you to play with them. 

     “You can be Wonder Woman,” Henry handed you action figure.

     “Can I be Spider-Man?” Jack asked as Henry nodded and handed him the action figure.

     “I’ll be Batman!” the boys began to play as you joined and supervised as well seeing as Derek, Will, and JJ had been talking about something that wasn’t as interesting to you as playing with the boys. In fact the sound of the doorbell went over your head as you played with the two boys. 

     “Oh no! Poison Ivy is spreading her vines all over the city!” Jack cried as all of you got to work on defeating the villain. 

     Spencer had come in and immediately saw you on the carpet playing with the boys as his heart swelled. Spencer had always had a crush on you, from the first day you joined the BAU. With the both of you being the youngest on the team as well as your love for reading, the two of you had become very close which only fueled Reid’s feelings for you even further. 

     Seeing you play with the boys was an image he was unable to tear his eyes away from as Morgan quickly caught on. 

     “Hey, Pretty Boy,” Derek called as Spencer whipped his head around.

     “What?”  

     “Ask her out.” Spencer’s cheeks flushed bright pink at this statement. “And don’t give me that ‘I don’t like her like that’ crap because I will profile you so much, boy.”

     Spencer sat next to Morgan, “you can’t tell her.” Derek grinned as Spencer looked at him, “i’m serious. I can’t ruin our relationship!” he whispered.

     “Come on! She likes you too!”

     “No way,” Spencer said, “I can’t risk it, Morgan. She’s too important to me.” Derek sighed as he looked at his friend. 

     “I’m just saying, Kid. If you don’t ask her, you are going to regret it.��� Derek was interrupted as both boys finally looked up and saw Spencer. 

      “Spencer!” they both said as they set down the toys and ran towards the tall man. You had also looked up and met eyes with Spencer as you smiled brightly at the man and began to make your way over to him as well.

     “Hey guys!” Spencer said as he gave both the kids a hug as they smiled at the man. You walked over and Spencer opened his arms as you hugged him tightly, “hey, Y/N.”

     “Hi, Spence,” you pulled away and as you were about to tell him about the upcoming movie marathon that would interest the both of you, Emily had called you over to taste test something her and Rossi had been working on. 

     Derek looked at Spencer with a wide grin as the brown haired man blushed. “I’m serious, man. Anyone would be lucky to have a girl like Y/N and you’ve got a pretty good shot of being that anyone.” Derek handed Reid a beer as the doctor took a long drink which surprised the man next to him. 

     “Dinner is served!” Rossi called as everyone gathered around the kitchen. This was going to be a long night.

***

     Spencer had about 4 beers between the time he arrived and now, which was 2 and half hours later and if you knew anything about Spencer Reid then you would know he is a lightweight. Rossi had cooked up something delicious as the team had conversed over dinner and Spencer had his eyes trained on you the entire time as well as making conversation about any and everything.

     Everyone had moved outside and were now on Rossi’s deck as Hotch, JJ, and Will played with the kids, Emily and Penelope conversed about scheduling another girls day in the near future, and Rossi and Morgan talking about an old case that had still rattled their brains. 

     Spencer and you leaned over the railing of the deck as you watched the stars. “Did you know that Venus will be shining it’s brightest on April 28th, which is only a couple of week from now,” he informed you as you nodded and listened wholeheartedly. 

     “We should star gaze that night, maybe Whitmore Park. Bring blankets and just lay out and watch the night sky,” you turned to him as his doe eyes watched you, “what do you think?” 

     “Definitely,” he said immediately as a smile made it’s way to your face as he mirrored it. “Y/N?” you raised your eyebrows and hummed, signaling for him to go on. “Why do you want to do all those things with me? The movie marathons, the star gazing, chess on the plane?”

     You looked at him with a small frown on your face, “because you’re my best friend. What do you mean, Spence?”

     “Best friend,” he repeated. 

     “That’s what I said. Are you feeling okay?” you asked as he just stared at you.

     “Just friends right,” he whispered to himself as you furrowed your eyebrows, “why can’t I be something more?” This time he looked at you, but was still speaking softly as to not attract any attention. 

     “Do you want to be something more?” you spoke even quieter. 

     He nodded his head at your word he set his drink down. “I’m super drunk right now, but I think it’s a good thing because I want you to know and I definitely won’t have this much courage when i’m sober. So, will you go out with me?”

     He looked at you, waiting for his answer, but to no avail, your face was emotionless as he mentally screamed at himself. His screams were cut short.

     You placed a hand on his cheek and pulled him towards you for a kiss. You lips melted together as you smiling into the kiss as he put both his hand on the sides of your face, cradling it softly.

     You pulled away as you saw a bright smile on his face and wide twinkling eyes. “I would like that very much, Doc,” you told him as you rested your head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around you. 

     The stars shining brighter than ever. 

[nanatsumu]

prologue.

5 years ago.

“what did you just say?”

you look at rintaro, a boy whose face you’ve grown to love— but now you looked at him as if he were the devil incarnate with a grimace on your face as your lips quivered with each word that spilt from your lips.

“i cheated you on with hina.” he said indifferently as if he were a news reporter who had just announced the forecast of the day.

recently, you had a feeling that your relationship with rintaro had hit a brick wall. it was evident in the way he stopped making an effort to text you every night and to facetime you whenever you two couldn’t see each other on a particular day, and the way he was suddenly “busy” all the time even though everyone (friend or foe) knew that rintaro would always be lazying around at home whenever he had the chance. but since you trusted him, you just assumed that he really was telling you the truth since it was a fact that the volleyball prelims were coming up and kita probably wanted all the team members to put in a few extra hours of practice in.

oh how wrong you were.

never would you have expected that all those times that rintaro was supposedly “held up at practice,” he was actually over at your best friend’s place doing who knows what. and you never ever doubted him for even a second because from the moment you two met back in middle school up to the day you started dating the fox-eyed boy, he never struck you as the cheating type. heck, you two were even each other’s first everything: you were his first girlfriend, his first kiss, and the first girl he had ever formally introduced to his parents as his girlfriend.

rintaro’s eyes seemed to be wandering around your living space: your family portrait hanging by the living room, the snow globe he had gifted your family sitting on the ledge above the fireplace, and some art project you made back in elementary school hanging on the fridge, but the only thing he couldn’t look at was you. and when you tried to look for the smallest amount of guilt or sadness on his face, you couldn’t.

“so you cheated on me and don’t even have the balls to at least say sorry? or you could have just broken up with me the minute you stepped foot into hina’s house without telling me so that we could have avoided this whole situation entirely,” you take a deep breath before letting out a bitter laugh. “rintaro you’re a fucking asshole you know that right? i wish i never met you at all.”

you were glad that neither your parents or your little brother were home to hear what was going on, but on the other hand, you didn’t know if you had the heart to explain to your brother why rintaro wouldn’t be coming over to hang out with him anymore or why rintaro stopped coming over on the weekends to have dinner with you guys.

you were filled with so many emotions ranging from anger to sadness, but you were so upset at this newfound information that your mind just went completely blank and the only thing you could do was shut your mouth and be left with a broken heart

you raised your hand and struck your palm against his cheek to see if you could at least smack some sense back into the boy, but to your disappointment, he still had the same aloof expression plastered on his face that only fueled the anger in your body.

“i hope i never fucking see you again in this lifetime, and if i happen to run back into you before i die then it’ll be much too soon,” you reach for the doorknob with trembling hands. “good luck in life suna rintaro, you’ll need it.”

and that was the last thing you said before slamming the door in his face as you slid down the door with tears streaming down your cheeks.

you wonder when it all went wrong—what you did wrong— but looking back at the moments you two spent together, you begin realize that you never gave him a reason and that’s when you finally decide to rip out this chapter of your life for good.

༄ directory

༄ next: kuroo, i’ll curse you and your future generations!

[apocalypseornaw]

Open My Eyes

Apocalyptic AU.

Dean gets increasingly jealous of your bond with Gadreel and things come to a head after a misunderstanding on a run

Dean had known you for years. Long before the dead started to rise and the world as it was previously known came crashing down. He knew you inside and out, you were one of his best friends. Maybe that was why it was bothering him so deeply to see you get closer with someone who was fairly new to your group. Gadreel had come in with the Banes twins. They’d gone through Bobby’s usual line of questions without missing a beat and had fit in smoothly enough with everyone else. That had been nearly six months ago which was a lifetime nowadays.

He tried to get you out of his head as he walked across the field that stretched between the outer fence and inner fence of the compound all of you now called home. It’d started life as a high school but with some hard work and a lot of blood, sweat and tears it was now a suitable place to survive the new world. Unfortunately before he could reach the sanctuary of the building where Bobby, Sam and Jody were waiting to talk about the new run that needed to happen he heard the all too familiar sound of your laugh.

He turned and found a small smile working its way onto his face when he saw you walking with Alicia and Max. You had your arm around Alicia’s shoulder and was laughing at something Max had said. He started to call your name but before he could he heard it called from a different direction and felt his mood immediately sour when you pulled your arm from Alicia to greet Gadreel as he made it to the three of you. He watched you pull the other man down to whisper something in his ear and felt anger flick at his mind. Especially when Gadreel laughed then whispered something back to you. Dean spun on his heel, he didn’t need to see any more.

------

The door to the meeting room slammed open but luckily for the three people sitting around the table it took a lot more than that to rattle their nerves. Bobby barely glanced up from the map “Nice of you to join us Dean now how about leaving the damn door on the hinges?”

Sam watched his brother drag a chair out and flop down into it. He wanted to ask what was wrong but knew that they needed to get this meeting through and that Dean was prone to shut down if asked directly what was wrong. He always did better with letting it slip through cursing whatever had soured his mood.

“From what we can figure there’s a couple veterinarian clinics along the route as well and considering the fact that people medicine isn’t actually any different than animal medicine they may have supplies there and it wouldn’t hurt to check” Jody spoke tapping a few different places on the map. Bobby nodded then cut his eyes at Dean “You and Sam up to taking a team and checking it out? We need the supplies to winterize this place once and for all, not to mention having extra medical supplies on hand wouldn’t hurt”

“Yeah we can handle it Bobby” Dean promised although it was apparent his mind was still not focused on the meeting. “All in all it’ll probably take about a week or so considering the ground you’ll have to cover so I’d pick a good team. Take Y/N with you too she hangs out with Alex and Kaia enough she can spot anything that has medicinal usage from a mile away” Jody added with a wink to Bobby before pushing away from the table to head out. She’d be gathering supplies for whatever team was picked and wanted to get it together.

Bobby watched her leave then turned back to his surrogate sons. “So I was thinking Y/N, Alicia, Max, Gadreel and Charlie would be a decent team to take. Ain’t like any of those girls can’t handle their own in a fight. Max can get through any tight spot and Gadreel is strong as a horse” Dean scoffed at that which earned him a look from Bobby “You got an issue with any of that son?”

Dean shook his head “Nope” then pushed his chair back “I’m going to gather my gear, you two can make sure everyone is up to the run” with that he walked out leaving Bobby to throw a questioning look at Sam who simply shrugged “I don’t really know what that’s about either” “Make sure he keeps a clear head. There’s a lot of dangers out there and not just the biters got it?” Sam nodded “Yes sir”

------

You were helping Jody to gather supplies for the upcoming run after she’d come out of the meeting with Bobby, Dean and Sam. “Do you know anything that could be bothering Dean?” She asked, holding out a pack of dried meat. You took it and shook your head “Not that I know of but I could always just ask him?”

She shrugged “No he’ll tell you or Sam if whatever it is gets to bothering him too much” You would hope so anyways. You always went to Dean if anything was bothering you. He’d offer advice if that’s what you were after or simply offer comfort or a place to vent. “I’m gonna grab my jacket and go bag from my room then I’ll meet everyone by the front gate” she nodded to let you know she’d heard you so you turned to head towards the living quarters.

The halls that had been transformed to be mini dorm rooms were actually quite comfortable considering. You considered yourself lucky that you’d been close with a lot of your group before that fateful day that a widespread virus was alerted in the news. You could still remember Sam’s phone call to you “Pack just what you need. Dean will be pulling up at your place any time”

You’d hastily thrown clothes and the contents of your medicine cabinet in a bag. Before you were through grabbing what you deemed necessary you heard a heavy knock on your door followed by Dean’s voice “Come on sweetheart! We gotta go!” When you opened the door your eyes widened when Dean shoved a gun into your hand. “Dean, what’s going on?” you asked and he took a deep breath “Long story short? The dead are rising. True,blue zombies. We gotta go cause shit is hitting the fan fast”

You gripped the gun noticing the one in his own hand and nodded “Lead the way Winchester. You know I trust you”

------

You shook yourself out of thoughts of the past. You needed to focus on this run completely. You grabbed your go bag from the floor checking what ammo you had and slipping a machete at your side. You glanced at your bat leaned next to the bed but decided against it. It was better the few times you’d go out solo or with just one other person. From what Jody had said there was a full team going after the winterizing supplies.

You slipped your jacket on then slid the strap of your bag across your chest. You walked back towards the doors that led outside. The electricity that the compound ran off of came from a mixture of solar panels and generators. The good part? Bobby knew enough to be able to brew enough corn liquor that the generators had fuel for years.

The only downside was that meant the few vehicles you had could only be used in moderation. Short runs horses were used for but considering this one would take about a week and would be gathering supplies for all the black panel van that was used for such runs was parked by the front gate awaiting those going.

You walked towards the gate and smiled when you spotted Dean standing with Bobby and Sam at the front of the van. They were clearly going over the mapped out areas one more time but you knew neither of them would mind you inserting yourself into the conversation. Since Dean’s back was to you and Sam noticed you first so you raised one finger to your lips. He quickly turned his attention back to the conversation so you wouldn’t be noticed.

You quietly took a few steps forward and slid your arms around Dean’s waist and leaned your head on his shoulder even if that meant you had to stand on your tip toes and still barely reach “So where are we going?” you could see the corners of his mouth tick up and knew he was fighting a smile “We’re going to a few different places sweetheart. You wanna hang off me like a spider monkey or you want to actually look at the map?” you feigned a pout “Why can’t I hang off you like a spider monkey and look at the map?” he rolled his eyes with a laugh “Get down”

You pulled your head down from his shoulder and moved your arms from around his waist to step slightly in front of him and look at the map Bobby had laid across the hood. Sam went over the stops with you, highlighting the couple where you’d be taking the lead since you knew more about what was needed for medicinal purposes. “Sounds good to me. Who’s the rest of the crew?” you could’ve sworn you saw a look be passed among the three of them before Bobby said “Alicia, Charlie, Max and Gadreel” you nodded approvingly at the choices “All good picks”

You heard a sharp whistle and turned to see Charlie walking towards the four of you trailed by the rest of the crew. “What’s up bitches? We ready to ride?” “Of course dear” You replied meeting her halfway.

------

Dean watched as you greeted the rest of the crew going on the run. Charlie was like a sister to him, Alicia and Max were cool but spending the next week in close quarters with you and Gadreel? Yeah he may look for some biters just to have an excuse to kill something.

“Alright! Everyone load up!” he barked out and you cut your eyes up at him “Depends, can I have shotgun for the first few miles at least?” He barely glanced at Gadreel before saying “Of course sweetheart” . You shot him a wink then walked around to the passenger side of the van along with everyone else who was climbing into the back.

Sam didn’t miss the look Dean threw at Gadreel or the way his brother had bristled anytime over the last few weeks when he’d see you with the other man. Was that what the attitude was about before the meeting? Was Dean jealous? He chose not to say anything for now and instead simply walked around to sit next to Gadreel on the middle seat since Charlie had taken up the backseat along with the twins.

------

Your destination was two states over. It was a contraction warehouse that had fallen early. Bobby kept an eye on the amount of biters in it versus the prospects of anyone actually getting inside.

Considering the zombies had lightened up in that area and everything needed to finish winterizing the compound and green houses could be found there it was worth the risk to go. That way you'd have running water and fresh food no matter how severe the coming winter got.

You were curled up with your feet under you watching the road whip by as Dean drove. You had a shoebox full of cassette tapes in your lap looking over them to see if any peaked your interest. You plucked one out of the box and stuck it into the player simply to see Dean's reaction when it started playing.

When the first few notes of It's My Life started playing he cut his eyes at you "Bon Jovi really?" You grinned "Hey Bon Jovi rocks...on occasion" then started singing along and couldn't help but laugh when Sam, Charlie and Max joined in.

No matter the music or the company Dean couldn't fight the smile that worked its way onto his face. You had shifted to have your legs out in front of you and were now drumming on the dash along with the music and had everyone in the van either singing or laughing along. Why had he never realized how amazing you were before? Why had it literally taken an apocalypse to open his eyes?

He watched you turn in your seat and bump Gadreel's leg as You Give Love a Bad Name started and felt that same flicker of anger. Maybe he'd waited too long to see what had been in front of him for years, maybe Gadreel had realized it a lot sooner.

The first day on the road was pretty uneventful. There were no stops to be made marked on the map so it was filled with just driving besides stopping for everyone to find a tree.

Considering the route was figured to be about three days there and three back (giving plenty of leadway for any issues that might arise) you asked Dean once the sun started going down if he was ready to pull over somewhere for the night or if he wanted you or Sam to take over driving.

He glanced in the mirror at Sam "What do you say Sammy? Wanna take the wheel for a while?" "Sure" Sam agreed so Dean stopped dead in the center of the road..not like there was a lot of traffic.

"Well I'm gonna climb in the back and get a little sleep" you announced after realizing Charlie, Max and Alicia were all knocked out. "Yeah Gadreel you wanna hop up here man? I'm pretty wiped too" Dean suggested and Gadreel replied "Sure. I already caught my few hours"

Gadreel held the side door open so you slid under his arm with a smile "Thanks '' he smiled in return. When Dean walked around he grabbed the door "I got it. Thanks" Gadreel simply nodded and climbed into the passenger seat.

You were already slid in next to the window when Dean climbed in next to you. You waited until Sam had started driving to turn so you could curl up next to Dean. He looked down at you with a raised eyebrow "What are you doing?" You grinned "Sleeping. Now hush and be a good pillow" instead of pulling away like you half expected he raised his arm slightly to pull you closer to him "I'll be a good pillow if you be a good pillow" you smiled when you felt him lean his head over on you and whispered "Deal"

"Look alive. This is the first of two vet clinics we gotta hit on this trip" Dean spoke as he pulled the van to a stop and glanced around. "Seven people so I'm thinking three teams of two and leave one person behind the wheel in case we need a fast exit?" You suggested and he winked at you "Just what I was thinking"

You slid your gun into the holster on your thigh but grabbed the machete from your floorboard as first line of defense. Guns were loud and the last thing you wanted was a herd of amped up zombies descending on the group before you could even go through the clinic. You turned and looked at everyone then nodded to yourself “Ok so Charlie you up for setting this one out?” She shrugged “Sure but I get to help clear the next one”

You shot her a smile then said “Ok Max and Alicia, Dean and Sam then Gadreel you’re with me..everyone good with that?” Everyone nodded but Dean who just walked to the back of the van to grab the canvas bags out without so much as a look in your direction. You raised an eyebrow to Sam who shrugged so you followed behind Dean keeping an eye out to make sure all of the commotion hadn’t attracted any undue attention.

You stood slightly behind him hearing him mumble to himself before he turned around and realized you were standing there “Son of a bitch Y/N. Make some noise sweetheart, the point is to not blend in with the dead” you grinned playfully “Is that your way of asking me to bite you?” he rolled his eyes but you could see just the barest hint of a smirk trying to work its way onto his face “Just be careful in there. Sure you trust him to have your back?”

You cut your eyes over to your group where they were all watching the woods line that bordered the back parking lot of the clinic “Yeah, I’ll be ok. Not gonna lie I don’t think I’ll ever trust anyone to have my back the way I trust you or well Sam but Gadreel has proved he’s good in a tight spot”

He nodded and for a second you thought he was going to say something else but he simply held out one of the bags “Remember get in, get out” you took the bag with a small smile “Aye aye” then walked back over to the group.

Dean watched you walk over to Gadreel. You said you’d never trust anyone the way you trusted him..that meant a lot didn’t it? He shook his head then walked over himself to pass Max then Sam a bag before nodding at Charlie “We’ll be out in five”

------

The clinic had three entrances. One to the side of the building, one to the back and one to the front. You and Gadreel took the back entrance, the twins took the side leaving the front to Sam and Dean.

You touched the handle of the door then looked at Gadreel “You want me to pull and you be ready or vice versa?” “Ladies choice” he replied with a laugh. You nodded then motioned to the door “In that case you pull and I’ll be ready”

He got into position but waited until you gave him a nod to open the door. You hoisted your machete but no noise came. You leaned inside and stomped your foot a few times “Hello? Anyone home?” You cut your eyes at him and he shrugged. “Maybe no one ended up here?” “We can only hope” you replied before walking further inside.

You could hear the rest of your crew checking but it appeared the clinic was well and truly empty. You picked a room and waved to Gadreel to follow you. The moment you stepped into the room you pulled your flashlight out of the pocket of your jacket and saw that from the looks of it you’d picked the operating room.

You motioned to the wall of shelves in front of you “I hate to ask but do you think you can give me a lift to the top one so I can see what’s up there?” He laughed lightly and you could feel the short jokes coming but instead he simply pointed to the machete in your hand “Lay that down so I don’t accidentally get stabbed and I’d be glad to” you laid the machete down on the silver table that was in the middle of the room then turned back to Gadreel “Better?” he nodded “Turn around so I can give you a boost then I’ll keep one hand on your back to steady you” you turned towards the shelves like he said and felt his hands around your waist a second before he lifted you into the air.

You climbed onto the highest shelf that normally would take a step ladder to reach then smiled over your shoulder at him “Thank you.Now get ready so if I find something good”

------

Dean and Sam had cleared three different cabinets. They’d found a good amount of first aid supplies ranging from suture kits to wound cleansers. “I’m gonna check on Alicia and Max” Sam said so Dean replied “I’ll check on Y/N and Gadreel”

Sam headed towards the back of the clinic where the twins were so Dean headed towards the operating room where you and Gadreel had gone into. He could hear you laughing right before he opened the door to see Gadreel putting you back down on your feet, his hands were still on your hips and you were smiling up at him with your hands against his chest.

Dean felt that same flicker of anger but this time it was mixed with more emotions than just that. He almost felt sick with just how angry he felt, not to mention the hurt. You weren’t even kissing Gadreel but he felt as if he’d walked in on a lot more intimate moment than he had. Luckily he was able to reel it in and sounded emotionless when he waved a hand towards the two of you “Didn’t know I was interrupting something. Times up, we gotta go so whatever you two are doing, stick a damn pin in it or something” then turned and walked out without saying a word.

------

Gadreel watched Dean walk out then looked back at you “What was that about? I was just helping you down..he doesn’t think we..?” you weren’t sure what to say. To anyone else Dean would’ve sounded almost bored but you knew him well enough to know when he was blocking emotions. You weren’t sure what was going on but when Dean sounded emotionless were the times that his mind was being his worst enemy “I have no clue honestly Gadreel. Don’t worry about it though, I’ll handle it” “I’d never disrespect you or any woman for that matter. I mean well don’t get me wrong you’re a beautiful woman but I thought..” he trailed off and looked again at the door when Dean had disappeared out of then shook his head “Just know if I did anything wrong I apologize” “You didn’t Gadreel. Don’t worry Dean just gets a little antsy on runs” you explained with a strained smile.

By the time you and Gadreel made it to the parking lot everyone had loaded their bags and only Sam stood outside the van. He took the bag from Gadreel then glanced at you, You followed him to the back of the van and watched as he added your bag to the bunch. After he shut the door he turned around and leaned close to you. “What happened in there?” You groaned slightly “He didn’t make a scene did he?” he shook his head “No but I know him like you know him. Now what happened?” You took a breath running your hand down your face “I think he got the wrong idea when he saw Gadreel with his hands on me. He was helping me down off a tall shelf that was it Sam I swear! You know me I wouldn’t do anything on a run and honestly? Yeah Gadreel is a good looking guy I have eyes but that doesn’t mean I’d screw him on a run for fuck’s sake we both have sleeping quarters back at the compound..I don’t know why Dean acted like that! Nice to know one of my closest friends thinks so highly of me that he thinks I’d risk anyone's life to fool around on a run”

You were starting to move past confused onto anger the more you spoke and Sam knew that so he reached out and squeezed your shoulder “Breathe, ride in the backseat with Charlie and Alicia. I’m gonna ride up front with him and Max is riding in the middle seat. I’ll try to talk to him ok?” you nodded, not trusting your voice at the moment because you were highly conflicted.

Finally you managed “Ok” then walked back around the van to climb into the backseat with Alicia and Charlie. Charlie raised an eyebrow at you not riding upfront with Dean but welcomed you into the conversation she and Alicia were having.

The third day on the road meant clearing the second vet clinic. You were going through a list of top things to look for with Alicia. All of you had stopped a few miles from the clinic to clear the road of an overturned tree. You and her were keeping an eye out for any dead that may be attracted to the noises. So far you both had killed one a piece.

“All clear ladies!” Charlie called out so you both headed back to the van. You wanted nothing more than to ask Dean why he’d acted like he had but refused to start an argument in the middle of a run. You’d push it down until all of you got safely back to the compound then you’d confront him about it.

You climbed into the backseat silently sliding between Alicia and Max. You didn’t really want to spare a word for anyone but since Bobby had been clear the clinics were more your wheelhouse everyone was looking at you as to what to grab for human use and what could be left behind.

You finally spoke as Dean was pulling into the overgrown parking lot of the clinic “I’ve went over the list with Alicia and Sam so they both know what to look for” Dean knew you were talking to him in particular and barely cut his eyes at you in the mirror before saying “I’m staying behind the wheel this time. Charlie can go in with Sam” you nodded more to yourself than in response to him. Why was he being so damn infuriating? If he’d just talk to you then...well what exactly would you say?

You climbed out and once your feet hit the dirt you turned to Gadreel “Ready?” he nodded so you looked around to everyone for their acknowledgement that they were all set.You shot one final look at Dean before falling Gadreel across the lot.

------

“Son of a bitch that damn thing came out of nowhere” you cursed kicking the now permanently dead zombie at your feet. Gadreel pulled a bandana from his pocket and held it out “You’ve got some blood smeared across your cheek” you wiped at it and gave him a small albeit appreciative smile “Thanks and again I’m sorry about how Dean acted” he shrugged “It’s ok really. It’s understandable”

You laughed harshly “Accusing us of screwing around literally on a run? That’s understandable? You’re a little too zen” he looked at you for a moment as if there was a second meaning to what he’d said but if there was you couldn’t quite grasp it. He shook his head after a moment then held a hand out “I’ll carry the bag”

------

Dean was watching the door of the clinic closely. Max and Alicia were the first duo out followed by Sam and Charlie. You and Gadreel bought up the rear.

He tried to bite his tongue but when you started to climb in considering you were the first one in the van he couldn’t stop the words before they came out “You and Gadreel didn’t get into anymore tight spots did you?” He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth but it was too late to pull them back then. He could see the shock in your eyes when you froze halfway into the back seat and slowly turned to look at him the shock quickly turning to anger “Believe me Dean if I was to fuck Gadreel I’d wait until I had longer than a few minutes to try him out” before either of you could say anything else Sam opened the front door and Charlie stepped up to climb in behind you.

Dean was still staring at you in the mirror when he heard Alicia ask if you were ok since you were balling up what looked like a bandana in your hands. “Yeah just took out a biter so Gadreel gave it to me to clean the blood off”

------

You purposely turned to stare out the window and cursed the moment you’d agreed to come on this run. You wouldn’t cry. Hell you couldn’t afford the luxury of hurt feelings these days but knowing that didn’t exactly take the sting out of Dean’s words. You looked down at your hands as you tied Gadreel’s bandana into a loose knot then untied it and repeated the process. You just had to get this run over then you could distance yourself from Dean. You’d said the first thing that had came to mind that would hopefully hurt him the same way his words had hurt you..what had exactly become of yours and Dean’s friendship over the last few months?

Day four meant the last leg of the run before the turn around to head home to the compound. You hadn’t spoken a word to Dean and hadn’t really spoken to anyone without them saying something to you first. Dean hated that his jealousy because whether he liked it not he was jealous he hated that he’d let it put a wedge between you and him,

He had no idea what he could do to even slightly make it up to you. He spotted the turn off for the construction warehouse so he cleared his throat “Charlie you wanna be a wheelman again?” she glanced up from her spot next to you and nodded “Sure!” “Then we’ll do two teams of three that good with everyone?” he was hoping you’d say something but instead of what he wanted you to say you looked up “I’ll be on the team with Alicia and Max. I have the list you said we needed. I’ll tear it in half and hand Gadreel the other half. You, him and Sam can find that stuff”

Dean didn’t attempt to argue with you and only nodded instead “Sounds like a plan” Sam cut his eyes at his brother not really being used to him being ok with someone else calling the shots but it was you after all. “You good?” he asked quietly and Dean replied “Yeah” then pulled into the parking lot of the construction warehouse.

------

You were out of the van the moment it stopped rolling. There were two zombies shambling around the lot and you took them out in tandem. You turned to look at everyone as they climbed out of the van and managed to crack a smile when Charlie teased “My oh my someone woke up on the wrong side of the apocalypse” you shrugged “Hey beats any other stress release there was pre-z”

A small chorus of laughter went through everyone and you were glad for that. You didn’t want whatever was happening between you and Dean to affect everyone else. You winked at Alicia “Grab your brother and lets go shopping” she laughed and grabbed Max by the arm then motioned to you “Lead the way”

------

Sam could practically feel the tension in the air between Dean and Gadreel. He had thought for a while Dean’s feelings for you went deeper than friendship but it hadn’t been as blaringly apparent until Gadreel came into the picture. He was a good guy, he got along well with everyone in the compound. He respected that the women helped keep everything going and always managed to pull a smile to your face over some small joke. Dean was threatened by him because up to this point there hadn’t been any other guy that garnered any of your attention away from Dean not one anyone that you would be a possible match with.

The three of them were working in silence quickly gathering what was on their half of the list. Sam was personally just hoping no fight broke out that he’d had to break up. He noticed that Dean kept cutting his eyes at Gadreel and said a prayer under his breath that just for once Dean would let it go.

He had no such luck because although Dean didn’t say anything Gadreel cleared his throat “Dean” Dean raised his eyebrows in response to the other man “Yeah?” “Just so you know nothing happened between me and Y/N. She’s a beautiful, amazing woman but...”

Dean cut Gadreel off before he could finish speaking with a shake of his head “I was in the wrong man...to snap at either of you. You’re both grown, what you do is your business and I trust the fact that neither of you would do anything on a run to risk your lives or anyone else's”

Sam watched the both of them for a moment trying to decipher if they were actually trying to get along or mutually waving the white flag for your benefit but the moment was broken by Alicia’s scream of your name. No words had to be passed amongst the three men; they all started running towards the sound.

------

You were following behind Alicia and Max trying to keep an eye out for the last couple items on your half of the list. You glanced up at a shelf that ran nearly up to the high ceiling of the warehouse and decided to check it out. Max stopped when he saw you looking and offered “Want a hand getting up there?” you shook your head with a slight smirk “Naw I think I can handle it but stay close just in case”

You made it to the halfway point and had even grabbed a few things you knew were needed when you went to step on a board and felt it crack under you. One minute you were standing the next you felt yourself falling and only barely managed to hold onto the backpack you had been storing supplies in.

You hit hard behind the shelf and heard a low growl.You pushed yourself to sit up and saw three biters shuffling towards you “Son of a bitch” you groaned trying to get to your feet. You went to push yourself up but felt a gush of blood from your left arm so you used your right to get to your feet just barely avoiding the chomping teeth of the zombie that was bearing down on you. You could hear Alicia scream your name but couldn’t spare a response. You had to show attention to the threat in front of you. You slammed your machete into the skull of the first one in front of you and cursed again when you realized that while you’d killed it your blade was stuck. You reached for the knife at your side knowing it was your only chance. You kicked the second one square in the stomach knocking it back long enough you could stab the last one in the eye.

You pulled your knife free and felt the one you’d kicked grab your jacket. You struggled to get out of it before the zombie sank it’s rotting teeth into the material. You slammed your knife into it’s skull then leaned heavily against the wall. The shelf slid away to show you an exit route. You ran towards the sunlight now streaming in and saw that Dean, Sam, Gadreel, Max and Alicia had all worked to get the shelf pulled out.

The moment Alicia saw you she looked at the guys “Turn around let me help her check herself out” the men all quickly obliged so you let her pull your shirt up and check across your back,stomach and both arms to assure you hadn’t been bit. “Didn’t you find a few suture kits at the last clinic?” She asked and you nodded then spoke loud enough the guys could hear “All clear boys. You can look now”

Dean’s eyes were glued to your left arm where the sleeve of your grey shirt was soaked with blood “Please tell me that’s a cut sweetheart” you smiled slightly “Bastard tried to bite me but only got my jacket” “Thank god” he breathed. You simply nodded and looked around “Did we get everything we need cause I’d really like to go home to the compound now. It’s been a long week” Sam laughed lightly and nodded “Yeah we got it all but first someone has to help stitch you up before we roll out”

------

Charlie had been nominated to help you stitch up your arm so you were sitting in the back of the van while she worked. Everyone else was keeping an eye out to ensure no more biters made their presence known. “So are we gonna talk about some of the weirdness?” You raised an eyebrow which made her nod in response whether at you or at herself “Ok then guess not” she tied off the last stitch and snipped it “I don’t have to tell you to keep it clean” you slid your shirt back on fully and gave her a small smile “I know aftercare instructions ma’am”

------

Dean watched you in the rearview mirror as he drove. You’d fallen asleep in the jacket Gadreel had given you to wear considering yours had been turned into a zombie chew toy. He couldn’t find it in himself to be angry that you were leaning against Gadreel asleep. He’d nearly lost you. Nothing else mattered. Why had he acted like he had towards you? Why couldn’t he just tell you he had feelings for you? Why hadn’t he realized it before Gadreel joined the compound? He let out a breath which made Sam look his way. “You good?” He nodded “Yeah be even better when we get home”

A few days had passed since all of you had made it back to the compound. You had barely spoken to Dean since getting back. You were still conflicted about the way he’d acted on the run.You were walking through one of the greenhouses checking the medicinal plants. You could hear someone walking behind you but didn’t have to look to know who it was. You’d know Dean’s footsteps anywhere.

“What’s this one?” He asked stopping at the plant furthest away from you “Echinacea, it helps for colds and flu” you replied barely looking in his direction. He walked a little closer to you and touched another plant. “What about this one?” You sighed loudly before answering “Ginger, it has anti-inflammatory, antibacterial,antiviral property and helps with nausea”

You finally turned to look fully at him “Can we not act like you actually give a damn about any of these plants? Why are you here Dean? You’ve avoided me for days, hell I’ve avoided you too so why are we talking now?” he took a few steps towards you stopping only a mere foot away “I miss you, you’re my best friend and I acted like an idiot..” “And practically accused me of being a whore that couldn’t even wait to get back to safety to fuck someone” you added and he chuckled lightly “That too”

“Why Dean? Why have you been pulling away from me for months and why did this run just cement the fact that our friendship is apparently broken beyond repair” you felt your voice break but didn’t try to hide it. You cared about Dean even if you’d resigned yourself to only being a friend to him because he’d never see you as more. Now you’d even lost that.

“Please, don’t say that Y/N. I was an asshole I’ll admit. I never should’ve acted like that towards you or Gadreel..it’s just..” he trailed off and you were too tired of beating around the bush by that point so this time you were the one to snap “Just what Dean?”

“I saw you getting close with him. I saw the way you two looked at each other then seeing his hands on you and the way you were smiling..I knew I’d lost any chance with you. It took me seeing you with him to open my eyes to just how much you mean to me” you were stunned into silence at his words. After a moment without you replying he laughed bitterly “Yeah and now I look like an idiot to add to it. Look I just wanted to say sorry and I hope you’ll forgive me”

He turned to walk out and only then did you find your voice “You are an idiot” he turned around to face you “Excuse me?” You crossed the space to stand in front of him “You’re an idiot Dean Winchester. I've had feelings for you for a long time. Yeah Gadreel is a good looking guy and a sweetheart. We’re good friends and I like spending time with him but as far as who I want? It’s been you, it’s always been you”

A smile slipped onto his face “Well does that mean we’re gonna give this a try?” you shrugged nonchalantly “I don’t know. Are you gonna be a jealous ass if I have male friends and hang out with them?” he laughed “No, I promise you my days of being a jealous asshole are over. If you’re sure you want me I know you only say what you mean” you tapped your chin in mock thought for a moment before saying “In that case why don’t we seal it with a kiss?” “Thought you’d never ask,” he replied, pulling you into his arms.

[cumberbittch]

Being a new member of the Star Sapphire Corps and meeting Doctor Stranger during Crisis on Infinite Earths

Marvel × DC crossover

Star Sapphires a.k.a. Violet Lanterns are empowered by the violet ring that is fueled with the emotion of love

The ring is sent for those who have great love in their hearts but were rejected or lost it

In your case, you lost it during the Crisis in which your best friend died to save your life

It was also during the Crisis that you met Stephen Strange

Right after receiving the ring, somehow, you were taken to another dimension, it didn't seemed real, after all the entire multiverse was vanishing

Stephen was there, as confused as you were

It was just the two of you in this calm, beautiful dimension, far away from the fear and sadness that you were in just a few minutes ago

"Who are you? Where am I?"

"I'm Doctor Stephen Strange and I could ask the same questions. I was meditating and I felt drawn to come here, wherever this is."

You introduced yourself and explained to him the hole crisis situation in the best way you could, also mentioning that the ring brought you there

He, however, didn't knew anything, nor about the wave of antimatter destroying the multiverse, nor about Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lanterns… nothing

That's when you realized that he wasn't from the same place as you, he wasn't from this multiverse

He said that he was starting to get tired and had to leave, but before that he told you that he would try to contact you again 

With the power of the ring, you helped your friend win the battle 

Things were no longer the way that they were before

You were tired and feeling all the pain that this crisis has caused on you and mourning your best friend

You fall asleep thinking about how things would be from now on

That's where you found him again, in your dreams

"Told you I would find you"

He said with a cocky smile on his face

Honestly, you were glad that he did

You had no idea why but as soon as you met that man in front of you, you felt a strong connection with him 

You two were back on that peaceful place, where you could see thousands of stars, but this time, you had more time to really get to know each other

"Who are you? I mean, the only thing I have is 'Doctor Strange', that's not very helpful. What are you?" 

He then explained everything about himself to you

"I might as well have my own questions about, lots of questions, actually. You told me that this ring on your finger brought you here earlier. What is this ring?"

Even though you two have only met a few hours ago, you felt like you could trust him, so you told him everything about the ring and the Star Sapphire Corps and why the ring chose you

"I'm sorry for your loss, I truly am"

You felt truth in his words

The two of you chat for quite some time about the recent events as if you've known each other for a lifetime, he was a good listener 

You guys had the same theory about the existence of multiples multiverses, it wasn't just one with different versions of people, it was way more than that

Eventually he proposed you to go visit his earth so that you could talk more about the many multiverses in better place, without getting drained out and with some food maybe 

He was actually offering you help, he knew that it would take quite some time for you to get used with your new reality, he'd been through that as well

You accepted

And that's how you two started to get close 

-------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I wanted to make something about a Marvel character dating someone from the DC Universe post crisis, and here it is! This is supposed to part 1 from "Being a member of the Star Sapphire Corps and dating Doctor Stranger" where they met and form a relationship, so, enjoy! Let me know if you want part 2.

[snowpeawritings]

oh hear is a fun scenario Kill la kill Ryuko's and satsuki reaction to there male S/o saving them whiles wearing senketsu / junketsu (yep in the activated forms) and their male S/o looked hot whiles wearing them

Reader is male

CW (CONTENT WARNING): Swearing, suggested sexual content, diverging from canon events, slight gore, blood tw, slut as an insult is used once

❄ Snowpea’s words: THIS REQUEST SOUNDS SO FUNNY BUT I LOVE IT SDFDSFLH

| Ryuko Matoi |

God, why did anyone allow students to have military-grade weapons? Carrying Senketsu in your arms, you hurried across the broken debris of the school as you tried to find some semblance of another human person. Goddammit, of all days that a random Satsuki-lackey could attack, why on a day where you had to submit files for the teachers? Sometimes you curse yourself for being a class president. But you had to hurry. It was your fault that your girlfriend is practically defenseless without Senketsu. God, why would you reassure her that she didn’t need Senketsu when you two are in the lair of your enemies? Why are you such a bad boyfriend? Feeling a tug on your arms, you looked down to see Senketsu’s only eye looking annoyed. You raised your eyebrow, only to wonder if you were monologuing your self-hatred on being a bad boyfriend. You stretched his fabric, glaring at the eye on the collar. “Can it! I’m very stressful right now!” Jumping on a concrete ledge, you carried yourself up and scanned the area with the leverage. This is was left of the cafeteria, you recalled, you were sure you saw Ryuko running in here as soon as the rando attacked. A tug from your arms and soon Senketsu was pointing at a certain direction. Your eyes widened, looking at where he was pointing and you felt your heart jump out of your throat. Her battered body slumped against the counter, looking so foreign when you were so used to her having less clothes on when she’s injured. ... That came out wrong but regardless, you hurried to her. Senketsu already extending his sleeves just so he could reach her but a giant force stopped you in your tracks. Skidding your feet on the ground, you nearly stopped in front of a giant syringe. It’s eerie-looking liquid made you squirm as you stepped back. Looking back, you gasped at the skimpy nurse outfit the assistant student was wearing. You recognized her as one of the student assistants that helped the nurse when she was out of commission but you never talked to her before. You tried your best not to squirm at the amount of skin she was showing as she twirled a scalpel in her fingers. “Look at you, little student assistant! How adorable that you came here for you girlfriend!” You steeled yourself, clutching Senketsu like he could comfort you. “Shut it. I’m not above hitting women, you slut.” She immediately raged, taking more scalpels from behind her (how does that tight thing hide those scalpels?) and brandished them dangerously. “No one gets to call me a slut and gets away with it!” You yelped when she threw them at you. Your legs immediately running behind any obstacle that could block them but you were fucking sure she must’ve taken strength enhancement drugs because of the scalpels stabbing right through the concrete, leaving holes after its wake. It only took one lucky swipe on your cheek to make you flinch. Soon, three more scalpels stabbed you in the calf as you screamed in pain. Crumpling down on the ground, you clutched Senketsu tightly around you. Tears of pain formed in your eyes but you refused to let them fall in fear of fueling her ego even more. “Who said you were going to hit me?” She cackled, hearing something move from the ground as something metal skid across the debris. You gasped, taking gulps of air as you crawled away from her. Away from danger and try to recuperate but all you could muster was pained gasps before ultimately slumping down on the floor. In your delirious haze, you heard Ryuko’s voice screaming out your name. It was a welcome voice but it wasn’t enough to wake you up. Black spots soon spread to the corner of your vision as you let out a shaky breath. “Sorry, Senketsu.” You coughed out, the fresh scar on your cheek now dripping blood. “Guess your gonna listen to me monologue even more...” You were afraid to see any sort of sharp object come and kill you, so you closed your eyes and awaited the final blow. Senketsu struggled in your grip, feeling his sleeve wipe against your cheek where it was bleeding. You chuckled weakly. Leave it to Senketsu for comforting you, huh? ... Why do you feel so cold? Opening your eyes, you looked down to see Senketsu stripping your clothes hurriedly. The sight alone made you wake up and scramble to get Senketsu off of you. In your panicked state, you could barely register an ‘Oh my!’ from the skimpy nurse or Ryuko’s aghast screams at Senketsu. With you only in your undergarments, you shivered at both the blood loss and the cold before Senketsu opened his giant maw. You couldn’t even let out a scream before you felt the kamui swallow you whole. Outside of the kamui transformation, Ryuko could feel her heart jumping out of her chest when she saw Senketsu swallow you just like he had with her. What would this mean? Does this mean you’ll sync with Senketsu? Will you get to hear Senketsu? Would you suffer blood loss like she has before? Those questions rang across her mind like a bell but she didn’t even question the most important part until the transformation finished. Feeling blood rush to her cheeks, she screamed out an “Oh my fucking god!” Senketsu said in passing that her father had worn Senketsu, the image not wanting to be imprinted on her mind so she pushed it back to the farthest reaches of her mind. But seeing you don Senketsu had brought all of the embarrassment back full force. Your entire upper torso was naked, letting the entire world see your chest and stomach as the sleeves covered your arms and neck. Senketsu’s eyes were still the same, sitting in front of your clavicle as he stared at you in concern. She was sure he was asking you if you were okay. That’s not even the last of it. Looking down was a horrible plan when she saw the skin-tight black and red suit hugged your legs deliciously. She saw how the skin just spilled from the clothes as the pants were hung low on your hips. She hated it even more when the lines and the suspenders pointed straight at your crotch area and oH GOD DON’T GET HER STARTED WITH THE CROTCH AREA-- “Senketsu!” You screamed at the kamui, stretching the suit on your thighs like it would help. “What the fuck?!” [Sorry, but you were going to die.] He stated simply before his eye moving towards the assistant nurse. She still looked dazed, a hot blush painting her cheeks as she stared at you in hunger. [And you’ll still die if I continue to drain you, so hurry up and get her already!] You gulped, cringing at how the suit on your neck stuck to the skin. You sighed before crouching down, arm brought back and glared at the offender. With the combined strength of Senketsu, you jumped, going at almost lightspeed before throwing your fist at the girl’s face. Feeling her bones crack under your fist brought you a sense of euphoria as she was sent flying across the room. Her now-unconscious body broke through the wall and the wall after that and soon, there were 4 holes in the shape of an assistant nurse. Steam from Senketsu poured out from you like a pipe. You breathed in and out heavily, the rush exhilarating to you. Quickly realizing about your girlfriend, you whipped your head to see her only to find her absolutely red and steaming. You hurried to her and if it was possible for her to be flustered more, it’s happening as you knelt in front of her and carried her away from the rubble. Since you have godlike strength now, it was a cinch to carry her with even one arm. “Babe! You okay?!” Oh god, she can feel your pecs oh god this is more skin she’s touching in her lifetime oh god oh shit oh god-- “Ryuko?” You questioned gently, not wanting to surprise her out of her flushed-stupor. You could see her eyes trying not to stare at your chest or your crotch but it was incredibly obvious. [... She’ll be fine.] Senketsu said after a beat. If one were to listen closely, one could hear the mirth in his voice when watching Ryuko getting turned on from you wearing him. [We should go home and get treated immediately though.] You nodded at Senketsu, securing Ryuko more firmly in your hold (and making her break down even more) as you hurried to the Mankanshoku’s place. Maybe one day, Senketsu thought, he would make you wear him again just to tease her.

| Satsuki Kiryuin |

“God fucking dammit--” You seethed, adjusting your belt to cover your crotch more. “I’m gonna murder that fucking blonde bitch I swear--”

Trying to aim at Nui, your finger hovered over the trigger before the modified sniper rifle shot the specialized needle. The needle to stop Nui in her place flew across the air before impaling an empty space.

You cursed, hearing the blonde bitch’s giggling.

Getting away from your position, you hid for cover as you reloaded your rifle. You took a glance as you do, the reloading becoming second nature to you. The battered down slums of the city made the situation even more dangerous as a dense fog crawled into the vicinity. The tall, dingy houses for squatters towered over you as you controlled your breathing.

You, Satsuki, and Nonon were supposed to be back at Nudist Beach base. It was supposed to be an in and out mission. But some fucking blonde bitch had to step in and ruin everything for the heck of it.

Sucking in a breath, you whipped around the corner of your cover, rifle aiming at the air before gasping at the sight.

“There you are!” Nui said gleefully, waving Satsuki’s lifeless body like a light stick. “I was wondering when you were gonna show up!”

Satsuki’s battered body made your blood boil but it made you furious even more when Nui waved her around like she was nothing. What made you afraid even more was that she wasn’t wearing Junketsu. The sight of her being only in her undergarments while Nui paraded her around had never made you want to stab the needle right through her other eye.

You gripped your rifle, taking aim at Nui. “Drop her or I’m fucking dropping you.”

She giggled, dragging Satsuki’s body in front of her. Blood dripped down from her numerous cuts, decorating the ground as her limbs swayed. You could see her chest still moving but it doesn’t ease your worries.

“Don’t you dare or else you might drop your partner!”

You snarled, hands shaking on your weapon. Satsuki’s bangs covered her eyes as her mouth was hung open. But you could see them moving for a small moment.

Your heart dropped.

You nearly dropped your rifle but you took hold. Seeing Nui’s stupid smile behind Satsuki’s shoulder made you fume but you can’t just tear a whole through your girlfriend. Even if she wanted you to do it.

You were sure Nui would’ve been impaled just to see it too.

You slowly lowered your rifle all the while glaring at Nui but not until the shrill shriek of “Aim your fucking rifle back, overachiever!” before feeling cloth cover your vision.

Nonon, who was trying to find you and Satsuki ever since being separated from you two, breathed heavily from constant shouting and carrying Junketsu. Yes, while she had proper vocal training and breathing exercises so that it wouldn’t tire her easily, having to carry a sentient kamui was hard enough as it is. She was careful not to nick her skin on anything sharp so that Junketsu won’t react.

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen,” She started, staring at Junketsu eating you whole, “but I sure hope something good happens!”

She then turned to her best friend, glaring at Nui as she stared in curiosity at your transformation. “Hang in there, Lady Satsuki! I’m sure your boyfriend can handle Junketsu!”

Hearing the transformation stop, she quickly turned to you, about to bark orders but could only let out a squeak of embarrassment.

The transformation ended, leaving you wearing a version of Junketsu that was reminiscent of how Satsuki wore them. Your entire upper torso was naked, save for Junketsu’s ‘eyes’ covering your shoulders and your arms which were covered with the white and blue sleeves.

What made it worse is that the suspenders pointed all down to your crotch area, the frills on the thigh-highs accentuating the spilling of your skin over the boots. Nonon, as Satsuki’s best friend, tried to avert her eyes from you but the sight of you looking so fucking sexy wearing Junketsu was forever imprinted in your mind.

“Oh?” Nui drawled out. “How interesting! The lover wearing the kamui and withstanding its hunger?”

“Hey!” Nonon screeched, glaring at her despite the redness on her face. “Don’t you dare ogle him!”

Satsuki, who was nearly unconscious for the whole time, twitched under Nui’s grip. She coughed out blood as she stared at you. You were still standing proud, your rifle aimed at Nui with newfound vigor as the strength that flowed through Junketsu now flowed with you.

She never could’ve been prouder for you.

Amidst her weakness, she smirked at you, printing the image of you standing proud wearing Junketsu in her mind. “Make her pay.”

[lilbabycee]

groceries // chris evans

↳ request: If requests are open, can I have a bratty reader who openly flirts with another man in front of Chris (with some condescension and degrading calling her a whore etc)

↳ relationship: chris evans x reader

↳ word count: 1.6k

↳ author’s note: requests are open but other than that, i am still a whore thank you and goodnight x

oh here we go i’m excited:

you and chris both enjoy the domesticity of grocery shopping a little more than you’d like to admit

your pouty lips are like sugar and voice like honey when you beg him to get that candy or those cookies you love so much

he likes to pretend that he won’t cave into your pretty eyes and longing gaze by telling you “no, sweetheart” and walking right past it

but he knows he can’t resist you for long, your glassy eyes threatening tears and he can’t bear the thought of seeing you cry

(although he knows that you’re just being a brat)

and so there’s nothing sweeter than his acquiescence: “okay, baby, go back and grab it”

and you won’t ever act like it, but any public outing provides you with the prime opportunity to mess with your boyfriend

your arms are overflowing with an assortment of fruits that chris sent you ahead to get while he was looking at the wide assortment of vegetables two aisles behind you

and although you cockily insisted that you didn’t need the cart or a basket, you’re definitely regretting your unnecessary stubbornness right about now

the strawberries and the grapes fall from the bottom and your eyes fall shut as you groan loudly, ready to have to go back and get new ones when the heat of a body crowds yours and you don’t hear the telltale sound of plastic against the linoleum

you assume that it’s chris coming to save you from yourself but instead, a mop of curly black hair almost tickles your nose and a pair of pretty lips curve into a smile

he’s got these light brown eyes that come close to knocking the breath out of you and you think that he’s gorgeous

(but still not as attractive as your man)

“i think you dropped these,” he teases, lifting a thick eyebrow as his eyes flit over your face appreciatively

“yeah”, the word comes out breathless because you can’t stop looking at his face but you still manage to smile shyly

and so he tells you his name and you tell him yours and he can’t stop talking about how pretty you are

before you know it, it’s been a full fifteen minutes and chris - who told you to come back when you were done - thinks that you’ve been gone for a suspiciously long time and comes looking for you

he’s expecting to find you with your arms crossed over your chest pensively or your face between your hands because you can’t decide what you want

(either way he thinks you’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen)

but then he rounds the corner and almost trips over the cart because you’re standing at the end of the aisle next to some guy that he’s never seen before holding an armful of what he assumes is your fruit, and he can’t help the way that his brow furrows and his mouth sets in a hard line

he can’t describe the incensed feeling that grows in his chest but he knows that it’s more that jealousy because you’re letting this man stand so close to you and touch your arm like that

a part of him knows that it’s the lingering insecurity that lives deep within the pit of his stomach but instead of letting it cripple him, he allows it to fuel his anger, virtually stomping down the row of shelves towards you

you reluctantly turn your head at the noise of feet walking in your direction, a lingering smile still on your face that immediately drops when you meet the eyes of your furious boyfriend

trepidation seeps into your bones, a poison that corrodes at the marrow and causes your limbs to go completely slack

it’s when all of your produce drops to the floor that the handsome stranger finally stops staring at you, spinning around only for that same stare to land on the very angry brunette coming your way

“chris,” you can’t help but cower slightly when his thundercloud of rage looms over you.  

he says nothing but he shoots you a murderous glare before pulling you into his side roughly, hand immediately coming to rest on your butt

you expected this but not the searing kiss that he bruises onto your lips, leaving you breathless as he squeezes the flesh of your ass in his palms

“hi, i’m chris,” he sticks his hand out with a raised brow, the warning look in his eyes a complete contrast to the warm smile on his face

he’s glowing with pride and he’s so hot but you can’t stop staring at the discarded fruit on the floor so as to not have to meet the eyes of the curly-haired man in front of you

“oh, i didn’t realize-”

“that’s okay, buddy,” chris smiles tightly. “thanks for helpin’ my girl out.”

and that’s all he says before snatching up the fruit from james? jonathan? jonah?’s arms and strolling cockily back to your abandoned cart

you walk quickly behind him, gnawing on your lower lip and refusing to acknowledge josiah? jamie? jared?’s parting remark

“i guess i’ll see you around-”

“no you won’t,” chris calls over his shoulder, grabbing you round the waist again after putting the fruit down and pushing the cart around the corner

the rest of the shopping trip goes off pretty much without a hitch

(save from a small disagreement over milk)

but you don’t prepare for what happens when you’re finished loading groceries into the car and sitting quietly in the passenger’s seat, staring out of the window contently because you’re so sure that you’ve gotten away with it

it’s when chris slides into the car and doesn’t say anything that you look over at your boyfriend, audibly gasping at how blown his pupils are

“is my little whore ready to go home?” he says nonchalantly, looking away from you to turn the key in the ignition

“what?!” you exclaim indignantly (except you’re not mad because a thrill runs through you at what you know is coming next). “i-i was a good girl-”

“don’t lie to me, baby,” he coos, engine on but he evidently has no intention of going anywhere just yet. “i saw how much you liked talking to that boy. being a little slut right in front of daddy- what, you tryna make me jealous, babygirl?”

“no- he was my friend-”

“okay, honey,” he says, still not moving and looking deep into your darting eyes

“really?” you ask, confused and a little disappointed because is he just going to drop it?

but you should know by now that your man isn’t like that

“of course not,” he sneers and the butterflies in your stomach come alive all over again. “stupid little slut - think i’m gonna let you get off with bein’ a whore in public? hmm, baby?”

“no, sir,” you reply, licking your lips and shifting in your seat, heat pooling in your core as you try to hide a smile by squeezing your lips together  

“my bad little girl,” a large hand falls on your thigh and you shiver, placing your hand over his as he rubs tenderly at the skin there. “such a dumb baby, huh?”

you nod eagerly, attempting to school your features into an expression that projects innocence and repentance because you know you’re going to get the punishment of a lifetime when you get home

“maybe i should fuck you right here,” he muses, hand absent-mindedly trailing to the inside of your thighs to press the heel of his palm to your clit

your legs automatically fall further open and you arch your back into the pressure while he runs a sole finger over the seam of your cunt

(no, you’re not wearing panties under your dress because he told you not to and you always listen to your boyfriend)

“so eager, sweetheart,” he hums, eyes focused exclusively on the task at hand. “did you wanna show that boy what an eager little slut you are?”

you plan to answer - you really do - but his finger dips into your pussy and your brain forgets how to function

almost directly after, another finger joins the first and your boyfriend is casually finger-fucking you in a semi-crowded grocery store parking lot

(the jury’s still out on whether or not this makes you even more horny)

“oh, baby,” chris laughs, eyes now locked on yours that are staring right back at him. “you’re so close already - i didn’t realize how much of a whore you were for that boy... or is this all for me? are you making a mess all over my car seats because you like getting fucked in the parking lot of a grocery store?”

(you decide that yes, this is absolutely why chris is going to need to thoroughly clean his car when you get home)

but you can’t articulate any of that so you just nod again, making chris laugh and causing a combination of pleasure and shame to wash over you

he leans over the console, attaching his lips to your neck and continuing his assault on your pussy - he’s sucking a trail of dark bruises into your skin and you love it, eyelashes fluttering rapidly as his lips move to your jaw and then your ear

“go on, baby,” chris smiles against your cheek. “cum for me, it’s okay. i won’t make you beg this time - i know that once anything gets in this tight little pussy, you don’t know how to act... that’s okay, honey. you can cum, it’s okay.”

and so you do, his voice coaxing you over the edge and the moment you do, chris gasps right into your ear and then chuckles deeply

“look, sweetheart, there’s your little friend - say hi!”

you meet those brown eyes and your entire body heats up in shame - the look on his face would be hilarious in literally any other situation but it makes you feel a little sick and slightly aroused (?)

once you’ve finally come down from your high and jules? jake? jasper? manages to tear his eyes away from the two of you (chris waves at him and you smack him on the arm because what the fuck)

your boyfriend promptly sticks his fingers into his mouth as you peel your sticky body from the leather seat beneath you - you’re panting and unsure if you’ll even be able to walk when you get out of the car

meanwhile, chris adjusts the mirror and his hands land on the wheel before he shoots you a disapproving glance

“seatbelt, baby.”

tagged: @literaturefeen​ @donutloverxo​

[midnightmoonkiss]

Evermore.

 Idol!Izuku Midoriya X Reader

Summary: Strangers brought together by music, fueling each others dream. You truly were living the life.

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 5.5k

A/N: Day 30 of the Izumonth Collab!

P.S. I have a very small grasp on what an idol truly is so ples kpop stans dont come for me ahhh,,,, i tried fdgbhhj

Just To Clarify:

Reader and Izu meet in a cafe years prior!

They built themselves from the ground up!

Lord help me i dunno what’s going on

Perm. Tag List:

@coupsieddori​ @desia2​ @strwbrry-lia​

The roaring of screaming fans, the inconsistent flashing of blinding lights, music making the ground shake and heart jump, stealing your breath away and intoxicating your being with every lyric sung from the bottom of their hearts.

To some, every concert could be classified as the same, the pattern repeating itself until it becomes nothing but a chore instead of a passion.

To some, music becomes something to pass time with, something to hug yourself with in the early hours of the morning after a night filled with tears and no sleep, eyes burning with exhaustion.

Every person has a different answer to the same question, 

“What is music to you?”

A question asked to you one calm, summer night in a run-down cafe by a handsome stranger with green hair, eyes unforgettably curious and brimming with fascination, sparkling with moon dust as their silver beams shine down on him through that freshly polished window.

He stood there, an enigma to you and all those present in the place at the time.

It was unexpected, not something you would count on being asked by someone you didnt even know.

But yet, your heart had lurched forward, captivated by the determination and child-like curiosity resting on his soft, freckled face.

The words slipped from your lips parted by astonishment before you had the chance to think as if they were being dragged from the dream buried deep within yourself.

“My life..” you had whispered so quietly you had sworn he couldn’t hear you, but a smile lit up his face, the first of many you’d unknowingly see on him in your lifetime.

“So live it.” Such a cheery response had caught you off guard back then, making confusion swirl in your gut as to just what he meant, dreams resurfacing to hopeful fingertips.

Ever since then, a day in the back of your head but never one you forgot, you gave your dream your all once more, letting lyrics fly across the page as you scribbled them down in the heat of passion, inspired by random things and editing until the words flowed smoothly enough for him to sing.

And by God could he sing.

He had told you at the time he was nothing but a mere hopeful kid, fighting his way to the top with some friends, wanting to make a difference in the world with his own words and his own voice, but it was a true miracle that your minds intertwined similarly to the way your hands often did, finishing thoughts before the words even slipped out, conversations from addictingly familiar eye contact alone.

A match made in heaven as some had described it, two peas in a pod, yin and yang, Complimenting each other and yet being polar opposites, swimming harmoniously together in the vast sea of life.

One who shined brightest in a crowd, and the other who thrived on the sidelines.

But perhaps that’s just what made your bond stronger, for together, you were grey. Not suffocatingly bright, and not depressingly blue.

Just yourselves, the truest form of love there could be.

It didn’t take long for their group to be known, emerging from the dark waves like water crashing on a rock breaching the oceans stormy surface, a breath of fresh air as lyrics and ideology comforted thousands.

Evermore was their name, bred from the desire to inspire people, remind all who listen that there was more to life than what they can see alone.

Everyday you were blessed to have met that man when you did, lucky that he was willing to embrace your flaws and help you step over your self-doubt and thrive where you thrived best, smiling happily backstage as you watched the people you adore sing songs you helped create and continue to encourage all who listened.

It was your dream come true, to create music.

A dream you often feared you would one day wake from, blinking through tear-filled eyes at that old red booth sitting across from you at that cafe.

Those were the nights you would always awake in your lover’s arms, him fast asleep with drool running down the opened corner of his mouth, but yet somehow providing reassurance in that relaxed face of his, messy green curls hugging his cheeks in the sweetest way possible.

You’d always kiss his chin in those moments, letting yourself melt like ice on a hot, sunny day all over again.

Years had passed since your first encounter with him, years you would always treasure, for how could you not?

He was a ray of light in the darkest years of your life, and you never would have succeeded if it hadnt been for his firm, helping hand.

Together, you were whole.

Even now, as he’s on stage, singing his heart out in the way he always had with that same look of enthusiasm and boyish glee.

The stage boomed with each beat drop or thump of the drums, the screaming fans a mere buzz from the soundproofed backroom where you and a few others watched the performance from a flat-screen television.

Cameras never fully captured his true beauty, despite being in HD.

No, though they captured the glow of his soft skin under the shifting lights, they never could quite catch the aura of enthusiasm he gave off or the twinkle of hope in those deep green eyes you always found yourself getting hopelessly lost in. An endless forest, no, a jungle of harmonious greens. Dewy, doe-like eyes always providing comfort to all those who are able to peer into them.

Its almost as if that’s why people are entranced with him the moment they meet them beyond the screen concealing his soul.

Some could easily say he was open to the world, large arms ready to embrace its flaws wholly, but in truth, he already has. Accepting the world as it is and seeking change little by little in ways he prays could help aid in making a difference, but one human could only ever do so much. That’s the part that wasn’t easy for him to understand about all of this, about his life and others.

He can’t always help everyone, and even he has limits. But no one wants to accept the boundaries put in place by something you cannot comprehend.

It would anger him sometimes, and inspire a new song of heartbreak he would write alone in the back of the tour bus or his office at the home you shared, mindlessly chewing his pen out of frustration until the ink would splatter on his cheek.

He always tried so hard, and most people could see that.

They admired him, wanted to be like him, singing the very essence of his being out loud every chance he could.

He and his group members made music that provided the saying ‘it’ll be okay, one day. Until then, I’ll hold your hand,’ even despite it at times being aggressive and borderline rock instead of pop.

They all worked hard, and it paid off.

You were just lucky to be able to help in any way you could, simultaneously living your dream and aiding others in their own.

It truly was a blissful life you now experienced, all thanks to him, Izuku Midoriya, the man you swore held your heart oh-so gentle in the palms of his scarred hands.

Little do most know, but you held his heart just as gently.

“Looks like they’re finishing up.” Tenya Iida, their manager, pointed out whilst adjusting his glasses in that way he always did when the hours of music streaming through speakers was coming to a close.

He was right, they had just performed their last number for the night. You smiled automatically, knowing just what was to come next.

At the end of every concert, Izuku would always give a passionate speech composed entirely on the spot after observations he made throughout the show in the back of his mind. His fans knew this, and they all immediately quieted down to the point where you couldnt even hear them.

Most of the time he would say the same things at the shows because most crowds are the same- but sometimes something strange and completely unique would catch his perceptive eye, and he would always point it out with a cheery laugh as sweat poured down his face.

It would always cause a roar of screams and laughter before he and his friends signed off for the night, leaving blissful memories in those who watched the performance.

As they all bowed on the television, you were quick to hop up, waiting in front of the couch for them to file into the place.

And soon enough, he came in, sighing happily as he wiped at his face with a towel given to him before entering.

His eyes easily found your own in the suddenly crowded room, almost as if they were pulled together by magnetism, and just like it, your feet began to move on instinct.

Arms wrapping around his torso, your lips brushed over his own parted ones before molding together in a sweet, congratulatory kiss.

A tradition, if you will.

One that you had skipped once and ended up with a pouty Izuku all night.

But you typically remembered, seeing as you usually wanted a kiss as well.

He always smiled against you during these, one hand resting on your hip as the other cupped your jaw, the pad of his thumb brushing against your cheek.

Ignoring the chorus of disgusted ‘ew’s’, you repeatedly kissed his addicting mouth with a smile of your own.

Pulling away, you slowly opened your eyes just in time to see him swipe a tongue over his reddened lips.

“Cotton candy lip gloss?” he guessed the flavor you wore breathlessly, voice hoarse from exaggerated use as his eyes met yours once more, relaxed and filled with nothing but unyielding love for you and you alone.

“Mm~ not quite.” you teased, moving your arms up so they wrapped around his neck instead, not caring that he was sweaty and warm.

You knew he loved these games, though. He enjoyed figuring out things on his own, putting puzzle pieces together in that mind that of his ran at ninety miles per hour.

Leaning in, he pecked your lips once more, smacking his lips together as he tried to figure out the taste.

“Bubblegum?” 

“Yep!” you giggled as his arms dropped to wrap around your own waist, his forehead coming down to rest on your readily awaiting shoulder.

His dampened green curls tickled at your cheeks, the delirious smell of honey from his shampoo and natural musky scent of sweat overtaking your senses for a mere moment as your fingers combed through his locks.

You were hooked on having him in your arms.

You wanted to stay like this forever, wrapped up in your own worlds as the love you held for each other sparkled around you like stardust.

It was just you and him, no one else.

You sighed contently, his own hum of approval immediately following as he pulled your body flushed against his own.

“This is highly unprofessional!”

You were slowly brought out of your world as the words reached your ears, not bothering to look behind you to see a fuming Iida.

Izuku, on the other hand, shot his head up, frantically waving his arms around as you clung to him like a sloth, “S-sorry!” He apologized, knowing full well this would happen again at the next concert, just as it always does.

Truly, you couldnt help it.

It was hard not to be wrapped up in his strong arms at all points of the day.

A loud sigh sounded behind you, the tapping of what could only be Iida’s pen on his clipboard whilst thinking.

“I’ll get everything wrapped up, you all look exhausted.”

“You could say that again.” Todoroki huffed, the thump of him scuffing his boots against the carpeted floor just barely reaching your ears.

“That crowd sure was enthusiastic, but matching it definitely drained me… ahh..” Uraraka murmured, the distinguishable sound of someone plopping onto a couch being heard with the squeak of leather.

“Oh, it wasn’t that bad, you guys!” Came Izuku’s signature enthusiastic reply, grip on you tightening as his own adrenaline began to pump in his veins again, “There were so many coordinated groups wearing the same thing! And, and those dances they kept doing! I’ve never seen an entire crowd successfully do the wave before! I mean, did you guys see that! They did it!! All for us no less.. I’m so happy~” Izukus cheek rubbed against your own as he sighed blissfully, no doubt amazed by the dedication of his fans.

“I guess that was.. kinda awesome.” Ochaco giggles tiredly.

“Well, I’ve set up four-star hotel rooms nearby for you all. Two to a room. You all may choose who you bunk with, of course, but try not to wreck the rooms.. Again.” He was more than likely glaring at Kaminari who was in the back of the room, considering he did have a little after party of sorts last time and ended up destroying a dresser.

Thank goodness for the shared rooms, though, you knew with complete certainty that the other bed in your room would go unused. It’s gotten to the point where it was impossible to sleep without Izuku’s arms wrapped around you, and you him, as he relented one night over a phone call. Hell, it was the entire reason you were even brought along on the world tour, which he tried to convince wasnt the only reason.

‘You’re apart of the team!’, ‘We can’t function without you!’, ‘You make better soba than they do.’

Supposedly there were more reasons, but for now, you just wanted to indulge in reason number one. 

A chorus of thanks followed, and suddenly you were being dragged out of the room by a hyper Midoriya.

That adrenaline typically ran through his body for a short ten minutes after a show, so you had no doubts that he would be crashing soon, but it was adorable to see him so energetic like a little puppy.

You lived for this, to see him smile at his well-earned success.

The walk to the tour bus out back was frantic, rushed, and definitely panic-driven as all the members not only tried to blend in with the shadows but also avoid fans that could easily start a rampage, especially since the bodyguards were lagging a bit behind.

But it was the fault of the lively and desperate twenty-year-olds, and not their own.

It certainly did bring a hint of rebellious glee thrumming in your soul, making you nearly choke on a laugh.

After successfully avoiding the press and fans after getting off the bus at the hotel, you were quick to retrieve the key from the front desk to your two-bed hotel room four floors up, stepping into the elevator with relieved hums.

“Good show tonight, guys!” Izuku pumped his fist in the air, other hand holding your own as he gave his exhausted team members his signature, award-winning smile.

They returned the gesture with significantly less enthusiasm, but it still made the skin around his brilliant eyes crinkle with joy.

With a final ‘goodnight’, he swiftly opened the door for you both, shutting and double locking it- a slight paranoid habit he had, before glancing over at you with tired eyes.

It was always so strange to you how he could always feign energy until completely alone with you.

It was nice to see him let his guard down in a way he didnt typically do, even if they were all his best friends.

He trudged over to you, having sat yourself down on the bed, just to collapse beside you with a thwump, his legs giving out beneath him as he slumped down onto his knees.

“Tired?” you questioned playfully, petting at his head and untangling locks here and there.

He hummed in contentment, voice muffled by the bed as he spoke, “nah..”

He clearly was, but you could only roll your eyes half-heartedly.

“I need to bathe.. I stink..”

“You stink.” you agreed with a nod, despite not truly believing it, only for him to whine loudly.

“How about a bath, stinky boy? You seem too tired for a shower.” You feared he would collapse in a shower from standing for hours already, and no doubt his feet were killing him, even if he didn’t audibly say so, which he never really did.

Perhaps it was a downfall of sorts, how he never let the attention go on him for too long, or ever really talked about problems unless brought up and forced out.

He certainly was stubborn from a childhood of being forced to keep quiet, but luckily enough, you could always see through that mask he wore.

It was a blessing he trusted you enough to do so, and you could say with complete certainty that that thought only made your heart yearn for him even more.

“A bath sounds good..” he flopped his head on its side so he could stare up at you, “Do you think they have bubble bath?”

“If not, a regular one will do you just fine. Either way, you’ll get clean.”

“Just me? Oh no. You’re joining me!” he shot back, not giving you time to protest, not that you would have, as he pounced on your being, shoving you down to the bed as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.

“S-stop it~ that tickles!” you giggled, squirming beneath him as he purposefully began to blow on your ticklish neck, fingers even coming up to tickle at your sides. You couldnt help but squeal out as he tickled you relentlessly with a mischievous smile on his handsome face.

“I-Izuku!! S-stop! Gaha! Ahhhh! N-no nonon!” you could barely breathe you were laughing so much, tears spilling from the corner of your eyes as you fought to push his larger frame away.

Snorts began to tear through your nose, much to his own bemusement and your utter horror at the atrocious sounds, and yet he smiled so sincerely at you.

Having enough, and knowing you needed to get things done, you quickly put all your strength into your back and arms, successfully catching him off guard and flipping him over so that you straddled his waist and he stared up at you in shock.

A blush burned at his cheeks upon noticing your victorious smirk, his lips pressing into a thin line as he concealed the gasp he was sure to let out.

“Now now, baby, stop messing around. The stinky boy needs a bath.” and just like that, his head popped back onto the bed with a groan, cheeks still rosey.

“Alright, alright... I’ll run the bath.” He decided, already using his arms to try and push his upper body up, to which you quickly pushed him down again, hands against his chest.

“Ah, ah, ah~ I’m doing it. Rest here for a minute. I know your feet hurt, so let me, okay?” even if you could be tough and playful sometimes, or distant and cold, you always had a very warm, caring heart. And he definitely could see that in the way you interact with others and how you were so much more with him.

He treasured it in a way that could be hard to understand to some.

Was it so wrong to be completely and utterly in love?

It was hard not to be when at times it seemed like you were the only tame thing in his life these days.

He was sure he would struggle to find one, similar to his groupmates, had he not stumbled across you that one summer night.

You were certainly one to blend in, conveniently sitting under a light that didnt work, just to hide in the shadows with your dark hoodie as you lazily ate some greasy fries.

He was tempted to pass you, grab the food that he had ordered via phone call and get out and back to his training session, but there was something about you that made it feel as though he couldn’t leave without saying something. Almost as if his very being was being pulled towards you in a way he couldn’t understand.

And so, he walked past you again, glancing down at the notebook you had wide open and noticing the lyrics you had scribbled down, along with the messages beside them.

‘Thats stupid.’ ‘Oh what a failure you are,’ ‘What type of song even is this?’ and many more harsh words you had clearly written yourself, smudged with black ink and what could only be tears as you stared off out the window.

You were a songwriter, no doubt, and it seemed as if you were close to giving up on your dreams, if you hadn’t already.

Or perhaps he was making a huge mistake by guessing, but he couldn’t help but want to intervene, it was in his nature to be nosy, and he was forever grateful he did.

Because now, you’re by his side, stuck together like glue you made yourselves.

Time had passed so quickly as he laid there on the bed, letting his sore body relax as he listened to you fumble around and the water splashing into the tub.

To some, taking a bath in a hotel was a strange thing to do, but with a hotel as nice and clearly clean as this, there wasn’t too much to worry about. Besides, your own anxiety always made you wash the tub real quick yourself.

Which is why he wanted to run the bath, knowing full well you would do this. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing.

But alas, he was too tired to truly complain.

He just wanted to relax, get clean, and then snuggle with his beloved in a bed that was far too soft for him not to think about stealing if just for a moment.

Eventually, you emerged from the bathroom, only in a tank top and undies, and he couldn’t help but eye you up, too delicious not to. My, he was sure lucky.

“Bath’s ready! Fortunately, this place had some bubble bath. I think you’ll like the scent, Zuzuku.” Walking over to in front of his damn near lifeless body, you grabbed his hands, wheezing as you struggled to pull his muscular torso up.

His arms instantly wrapped around you again, face nuzzling itself on your chest, inhaling your sweet scent.

He was tempted to just pull you onto his lap and fall asleep, but alas..

“Up.” you sternly stated, gently pushing his head back just to lean down and peck his nose.

 Pulling away, you walked back to the bathroom, stopping just at the door.

Fingers gripping the hem of your shirt, you swiftly pulled it up and over, looking back to the flushed boy with an amused grin, “Come join me.”

Seeing him promptly jump up, you giggled to yourself as you waited for him, arms crossed over your bare chest.

He jumped into the bathroom on one foot, trying to pull his pants off whilst fumbling around like a headless chicken.

“Well aren’t you desperate.”

“I just want to hold you in my arms as soon as possible,” he admitted, looking over at you with a pouty face so innocent you couldn’t help but squeal on the inside.

You watched as he shed himself of all his clothes, not feeling the least bit shy at his nude self, having seen it enough times for it to not be sexual in such a domestic setting.

He hummed approvingly as foot stepped into the tub, hands gripping the sides as he lowered himself into the relaxing, warm waters filled with iridescent bubbles.

Looking over at you, he outstretched his hand, waiting.

And so, shedding your underwear, you grabbed his hand, him helping you not slip and fall as you settled in between his legs, back to chest as your head leaned on his broad shoulder, exhaling.

Kissing your cheek, he whispered “Thank you,” appreciatively.

“Mhm~” you hummed, letting your eyes slip closed as you took in this moment.

Him, the smell of the delicious vanilla cake bubble bath, and the soft lofi-hop you had playing from your phone on the counter wrapping the room in a sweet melody.

He too took this moment to relax again, letting the warm water soothe his aching joints and muscles, hands rubbing up and down your arm, the suds in the bath making you both slippery. He always enjoyed feeling your skin whenever given the chance, it was such an intimate act he cherished, seeing how he was the only one who could do it. 

Time was so easy to slip by whenever he was with you, soaking in the moment of feeling you against him.

It brought a sense of normality back to his life, despite it now being barely normal at all.

And so is the life of an idol as they call it, though he wasnt quite sure how that word sat in his stomach.

He always thought of it as a figure to worship, and not him by any means.

Apparently, it’s what they called Asian band members these days, or at least that’s what he presumed.

Even if he spent nights researching the word, he was still met with loopholes and gaps he couldnt fill in.

Such a confusing term.

Nonetheless, he didnt say he wasn’t one since he didn’t exactly have the best grasp on what it is.

Regardless, it felt nice to not have to keep a forced smile on his face, but instead a genuine and relaxed one.

He found that most days he could only relax fully around you.

You always had something about you that calmed his nerves and cured any storm built from stress raging in his head.

Who knew being an ‘idol’ could be so vexing?

Strict schedules, a fairly controlled life, tight budgets, always having to be on his feet, but he had to admit it, it wasn’t nearly as hard as he heard what most groups went through.

He was lucky his friend from high school was willing to invest in this group, and it truly did pay off, seeing as they were quite popular these days.

Though he technically was loaded with money, he never bothered to spend the majority of it on himself, always putting it back into the band or donating it to charities he believed in. The fraction he had left allowed him to buy just what he needed, and some gifts he buys throughout the year just to surprise you with on anniversaries or birthdays or holidays, much to your own dismay.

And though he may be this figure others look up to, you never thought of him in such a way, out of reach and someone to scream at with joy whenever you saw him. You saw him as an average joe, a regular human with emotions. It could have been because you met him before he became a sensation, but you never got blinded by his success like he had seen before on television.

There were so many things to love about you, but most of all, he adored how you grounded him.

Even now, as his arms hold you against him and water softens your skin, he feels at home in a way he didn’t feel very often before. Home was just.. always with you. He couldn’t have a home without you in it anymore.

“I love you..” he breathed out, lips pressing against the damp skin of your neck.

You turned to stare deeply into his intense eyes filled with nothing but love, nose brushing against his own, “I love you, too.”

And so, you finished up the relaxing bath, knowing if you stayed too long you’d both fall asleep and never wake until the morning with pruney skin. It wouldn’t be the first time.

You offered to wash him, and he offered to wash you, giving you both the excuse to run your hands over each other’s body in a sensual way without it being lewd. Besides, you adored feeling his muscles and warm skin, something seemingly common in modern-day bands, but he had always said it was for himself and not just to appeal to fans or any contracts.

It was never about that.

Just a personal goal to help love himself, though you always assured he would look handsome to you no matter what, you understood his need to do this for himself.

After rinsing off, you carefully stood from the tub, offering him a hand before drying the both of yourselves off just to use as an excuse to hug. Seeing as how you both had forgotten to get a change of clothes from the bus, rooky mistake, you were doomed to spend the night in hotel robes, which wasn’t too bad either. Waddling out the room, Izuku nose-dived headfirst into the sheets as you grabbed a glass of water.

Upon him deciding you were taking too long, despite it not even being a minute, he made grabby hands at you, pouting and whining for “(Y/N)’s famous cuddles” which only brought another blush to your face that never seemed to stop smiling when around this absolute angel of a man.

Sipping at the glass of cold water, you slowly made your way to the bed, just to tease him.

“Can’t you move faster.” Izuku groaned, tossing an arm dramatically over his eyes as if watching you move so slowly was killing him

A knife to his frail heart.

He is dead

R.I.P. famous singer and songwriter, Izuku Midoriya.

Killed because his girlfriend was being too slow.

A tragedy in four parts-

His breath was suddenly squeezed from his lungs as you flopped down on him like a fish, his arm flying off his face just to be met with your damp hair tickling his nose, causing the poor fellow to sneeze.

“Ewww! Izukuuuu!” you whined, pulling your head back to mess with your hair with a look of dissatisfaction etched on your features as he just breathily chuckles.

“Aww~ Don’t be mad at me, princess! That was your own fault, you know my nose is ticklish!” though his argument did outweigh your own, you refused to accept it with a humph as you turned your head, puffing your cheeks up and crossing your arms over your robe covered chest.

Surprisingly, the robes were quite comfortable, almost like sleepwear themselves despite being meant for something different than sleeping in. They were white and prone to stains, but they sure were fuzzy and warm.

You had no doubts they would be gone in the morning from the downfall of two humans who are both personal body heaters sleeping together.

Oh, if only you had brought your light sleepwear. Nothing wrong with waking up naked, is there?

“I’ve waited long enough, cuddle me!” Izuku’s arms were outstretched, waiting for you to collapse in his arms instead of sitting on top of his belly, far too far away!

Amused, you nodded, reaching over to the nightstand, switching off the light. The room would’ve fallen into complete darkness had the moon not been shining through a sliver of a crack in the curtains on the far side of the quiet room.

Settling down, you rested your body on top of his own, letting his arms wrap loosely around your waist as he nuzzled his cheek against your own once more. Such a cuddle bug.

It only took a minute before you decided this was uncomfortable and shifted so you were both facing eachother on your sides, your own body close to the curtains, and his close to the door.

He always liked to be closest to the door, so in case of a break-in, he could protect you.

It was endearing in the sweetest of ways, though it made you wonder what went on inside his head sometimes.

Though you prided yourself on being able to understand him completely, you accepted the fact that some things you will never know about him, and some things he will never know about you.

But then again, everyone is entitled to their own secrets, right?

“I’m so glad I met you..” he sighed out dreamily, voice growing husky as drowsiness seeped in. His warm fingers traced over your cheek as the lights of the moon reflected in his eyes, giving you just enough brightness that you could see his content smile.

“I’m really glad you decided to stalk me.”

“I- I didnt-!”

“Hahaha!” you cut him off with laughter, his own following suit.

His breath was suddenly fanning across your lips, and you felt his own soft pair brush against your own, lip-gloss free ones before fully connecting them.

Kissing him had to be one of the best parts about dating him because boy did he know how to make you swoon by his lips alone.

“Goodnight.” you pulled away, pecking his nose as he giggled.

“Goodnight.” he repeated, arms wound around your body and head tucked under his chin.

Oh how sweet life could be if you took a chance.

[futurewriter2000]

Close Friends - pt. 10

A/N: La la la la la... 

WARNING: Before you go into it there may be some triggering for some of you who are not comfortable with violence. I advise you to just skip it or not read it at all. 

XX

Remus didn’t wait a day to tell Sirius what happened between the two of you. He was truly surprised by himself by his intention to tell his one, pretty, little secret to the person he should be keeping it from.   

He had a chance with you. He had a chance with you all along and he let himself believe that you were taken by someone who has been afraid to make a move on you for three years. By someone who has dated half of Hogwarts and was sitting right in front of him. 

Sirius, James and Peter all looked up at the hungover, grinning chap in front of them but Remus- something got into Remus because he didn’t think of the consequences his next words will bring him: “We kissed.” he said with a smile, with a giddy, biddy smile and not even realizing how happy the thought made him before he looked at Sirius flat expression. “And I think I’ll ask her out.”

Sirus felt his heart pound in his chest. He felt it pound as the first two words left Remus’ mouth and dragged for a lifetime. He surely didn’t mean-

“(y/n), I mean.” he kept smiling meanwhile James kept exchanging glances between him and Sirius. 

Sirius eyebrow twitched. 

“No.”

“Yes.” 

“What?” James cut in and both of them looked at him for only that split second. 

“You- you- no, you’re messing with me, Remus.” Sirius stood up with flat expression, not knowing how to react if this was even true. “You’re messing right?”

“You know what, Sirius? I’m not. I think she’s the one.”

“NO!” Sirius bellowed, his eyes flickering to all directions as his thoughts raced through his mind. You couldn’t have. You couldn’t have done that. You couldn’t have kissed Remus too because Remus is his best friend and he knew that he had a thing for you, all of the boys did but you were his girl. You and him are meant to end up together. The two of you are best friends- always best friends and it was just the matter of time when he confessed his love to you and make you so extremely happy-

You’d say you felt the same because you really did feel the same, didn’t you? You were always around him, there for him- whatever you and him had it was special. He was your soulmate. He was the one you’ve been waiting for your whole life. Like you’ve said you need to feel this connection with someone and you and him had that all the time. He felt it. He felt the electricity, he felt the joy and the life in him when you gave him as much as a glance. You were the one for him, not James- not Remus!

Remus! He wouldn’t act this way! He wouldn’t betray him like that. Of course, he liked you but Remus would never just walk up to you and- no, you must have kissed him like you did with James. You probably had done that becuase of the whole bracelet thing. You were angry and jealous. Yes, you were jealous because he was flirting with the Ravenclaw back in class. You were jealous and you thought the best revenge was Remus- and you did everything in your power to get Remus-

“No, no, no...” Sirius started shaking his head with a wicked smile. He left the room without any second glance at the two boys and it didn’t take him long to burst into your room, finding you making your bed. 

You turned around in surprise, finding him here so soon. You felt sadness wash over you but there was something that wasn’t right in his facial expression that made you change your mind of what you wanted to say. So... you only stared at him with empty eyes. 

He paced up and down the room, running his hand through his dense hair. He let out a laugh, forced and a bit paranoid. “Remus said the two of you kissed- did-” he looked at the half made bed and pointed at it.”The two of you fucked too?”

You rolled your eyes with a scoff, grabbing the pillow and throwing it on the head of the bed. “No.” 

“You’re such a liar.” he scoffed in disbelief, storming to you with his index finger pointing directly at your nose. “LIAR!” he exploded and you felt yourself take a few steps back, your heart in your throat.

He never yelled at you like this. He would never raise his voice by a tone and accuse you of lying. He knew you, didn’t he? He knew the real you. 

“Who’s next, huh? Peter? Regulus? My father?!” he raged, stepping closer and closer to you until you pushed him away in defence.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT, SIRIUS!?! HUH! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!” you exploded as well, being the one to back him away towards a wall.

You could see Remus, Peter and James at the doorway but they all only stood to listen. 

“WHAT IS IT SIRIUS?! HUH?! YOU LOVE ME?! YOU’RE SO IN LOVE WITH ME, HUH?! WHAT?! Because for the last few months, you’ve done nothing! NOTHING! To prove me that you were in love with me- you know what you did do?! HUH?!”

“Oh, please do tell, (y/n). The all smart little whore.” he sneered and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“A whore? A WHORE?!!” you couldn’t believe the words that came out of his petty little mouth right now. “You fuck every living being that crawls and I kiss two people and you call me a whore!”

“FINE! Than a hypocritical slut, if you prefer.” he continued to realiate meanwhile James and Remus started to intervine. 

“Oi, mate. That’s enough.” James started to pull Sirius by his shoulders but Sirius only pushed him away. 

“FUCK OFF, JAMES! This isn’t your fight!” he shouted at him before turning back to you. “You said that you waited for a soulmate. You said you waited for someone that you knew was love at first sight-”

“And it was. It was James. I thought it was James.” you started to feel tears gather in your eyes but you barely held them back. You couldn’t- not in front of him, not when he said all of those awful things to you. “It was James and you ruined it like you ruin everything! YOU RUIN MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE!” it bursted out of you and Sirius’ eyes widened. 

“What?! I ruin your life-”

“YOU’RE SELFISH! I was in love with James and I had the perfect first kiss with him and you ruined it with your selfish, sensitive feelings! And if you ever considered somebody else, you’d notice that James liked me back but he chose you! He chose you because you were selfish, not because he was!- You kept telling me you loved me for years but you had dated other girls during that time- how the fuck do you want me to react?! You want me to wait for you?! Huh, Sirius?! You think I would even want to date someone who had gone through more fannies than a man can count!”

“I was never selfish for wanting you.” he growled, still pointing his finger towards you as Peter helped James stand up, shocked by the words you spilled before. “I wanted you and I knew there was a chance of you meeting somebody else but James? Remus? My two best mates!? How could you be so cruel, knowing that you hurt me and knowing that from all the boys in this whole school, you had to chose my best mates.”

“I DIDN’T CHOSE IT, SIRIUS!” you bewailed, feeling the anger fade as the sorrow started to pour like rain. “I didn’t chose to feel things for somebody else and not you- and Remus- Remus wasn’t like James to hide from me beacuse you were being petty. Remus tried to convice me that I was in love with you but I’m not! I could never be in love with someone so SELFISH! SO SELFISH AND ARROGANT AND INSULTING! You wouldn’t speak with me because you got your itsy bitsy feelings hurt- always Sirius this, Sirius that- everything about you and your bloody fucked up life. As if we don’t have our own problems to deal with. Always be there for Sirius, make time for Sirius, appologise to Sirius because you couldn’t make it-”

“Well, if I’m such a burdon, why don’t you just dump me in the trash!”

“HOW CAN YOU PLAY THE VICTIM CARD HERE! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO BURST INTO MY ROOM! ATTACKING ME!”

“BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND KNOWING YOU KISSED JAMES AND REMUS AND NOT ME WAS LIKE YOU KEEP PULLING THE SAME ARROW BACK AND FORTH!”

“YOU’RE DOING THAT SIRIUS! I’M JUST TRYING TO MOVE ON!”

“I DON’T WANT YOU TO MOVE ON! I WANT YOU TO BE WITH ME! I NEED YOU!”

“Guys, that’s enough. McGonagall-” Remus tried to cut in, putting his hand on Sirius’ shoulder but as soon as he did Sirius turned around and grabbed Remus by the neck.

“Stay out of this!” he pushed him against the wall as James and you ran after him. “YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! I risked my life for you in those woods and you try to steal my girl-”

 James pulled him off and tried to throw him on the ground but Sirius couldn’t control his rage anymore. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t know anymore where he was or what he was doing. The fury in him was like fuel, causing his adrenalin to race through his veins, pumping his muscles and overtaking James’ grip, the skin on his knuckles tightening and with a one hard swing at James jaw threw him further away.

“SIRIUS!” you shouted, running to him and making your foremost, memorable mistake; taking him by the arm and earning a hard hand slapping your cheek and throwing you on the ground. 

Sirius couldn’t believe what he had done- eyes widening, filling with regret and guilt. “No, no, no, no, no- (y/n), I swear I didn’t mean to- you just came- I thought it was Peter-”

Your eyes let go of the tears they held in prison, your hand touching the freshly raw wound he caused. 

His eyes started tearing up as well, seeing you on the floor and crawling away as he tried to approach. 

“Why would you do that?” your voice trembled like a tear in the ocean. You couldn’t recognise the boy standing in front of you. The only close friend you could run to if the world was ending, the boy who made the sun hide in the shadows, the boy who could light up the room by just walking into it- he was your best friend and he hit you. He hit you. The boy you loved hit you. 

Sirius could see the terror in your eyes as you watched him. Your lower lip was trembling, your cheek growing redder due to his hand. He made this, he did this- he looked over the room, Remus breathing for an air and holding onto his neck, James on the floor, spitting blood from his jaw and Peter in the corner, eyes bulging out of his skull... 

He looked down at his hands. It wasn’t there but they seemed so bloody. 

“I- I’m sorry.” he mumbled, looking at all four in the room. “I- I- oh my God- oh my God! OH MY!” he started to panic, holding on to his head and wailing. “OH MY GOD- NO! NO I- NO! NO, NO, NO, no, no, no, no!” he fell on his knees and held onto the sides of his head.

He’s like his father. He’s exactly like his father- like his ancestors. He’s a monster! He’s an abuser! He hurt the people he loves! He hurt them! 

His body started to shiver, the voices surround him muffled into the bacground. He stood back up, watching his hands that felt covered with blood but were clean as a slate. “I- I can’t- I didn’t-”

He hurt you. He hit you. He hit you like his father his his mother. He hit you like his mother hit him. 

“Sirius-” he could hear only James but his eyes were focused on you at the foor of your bed, staring.... petrified, frightened, innocent... You were so unclear from his tears in his eyes but his heart was wringing its blood from how much it agonized him from hurting you by his hand- his hand- his own hand. 

He stood up, unable to focus, unable to hear or see, unable to feel anything but to feel his legs run- indeed, that was what Sirius Black was best at. 

[winnipegpatty]

You Wrote a Letter to the Wrong Guy | s.m.

Summary: You’ve been in a back and forth relationship with Shawn for years now, and you finally think it’s time to say goodbye for good. Shawn doesn’t see it that way.

Words: 5k+

a/n: this fic prompt is based off the tv show Younger.

------------

Dear Shawn, 

I can’t imagine my life without you. There’s no easy way to say it, and writing doesn’t make it any better. But I have to try to explain why this is happening. Over the past three years, you’ve changed everything for me. There are so many memories I have of our time together. Some that I know I will cherish for a lifetime. I think of our first night together, when we met at the bar. Or my first time backstage at one of your concerts. Some memories were good times. And some I wish I could forget, but through all of our moments, you saw me for me. You loved me in my most difficult time, and you accepted me when people were leaving me behind. I say I can’t imagine a life without you, a life without your guitar playing in the back of my mind, or hearing your laugh over the phone, but it’s time I let you go. It hurts to tell you these things, but I want my relationship with Nick to work. And the only way I can do that is for there to be space between us. I’m so sorry, Shawn. 

Love Always.

Shawn’s hearts sank deeper with every work he read. His stomach twisted into knots, and he really could vomit. He’d always heard people say that watching the love of their life with someone else was harder than losing them, but what did those idiots know? Did they ever actually experience both options? Because seeing her with Nick was horrible, but they’d still remained friends. They still shared moments with each other. She’d still convinced Shawn to go back to tour when he thought he couldn’t handle the pressure anymore. They still had late night phone calls where they bared a little too much of their soul for exes. He’d still been able to convince himself that one day she’d come back to her. Because truly, he always thought she would. He’d given her every single piece of his heart. She had it all. Surely, that was enough for her to come back, right? They’d had ups and downs, but far more ups. He’d take her any way, even if it was this small fragment of a friendship that was left. Why wasn’t his all enough to convince her to stay?

People told Shawn he’d get over her. But he never thought those people had truly been in love if they thought he’d ever be the same again. He could live his life, sure. But he’d never feel the way he felt about her again. The moment he saw her alone at the bar, he knew it. Shawn used to say he wanted his first ever heartbreak. Like it would fuel his career or something. But that was only when he’d thought that the heartbreak would end and eventually give birth to a new form of love. But there was no new love. There was no love outside of her. 

And what? He’s just supposed to accept that she wasn’t going to ever speak to him again? So she could give Nick a try? What about giving Shawn a try? What about all the times she’d ran from him because she was too terrified to give it a true shot? No, no this, this letter, this apology, this ending — it’s bullshit. 

——

It was about to be a crazy night. You were already preparing yourself, but you weren’t really sure there was a true way to prepare for your best friends bachelorette party. But nevertheless, you were maid of honor, and you were determined to give her the best possible night. Starting with a surprise kidnapping and s strip club visit (or two). 

“Dee, just get in the damn car,” Haylee, one of the bridesmaids, shouted at the bride as she yanked her by the arm into the hot pink limo sized Hummer. “Why can’t you be normal and just let loose for once in your life!” Haylee huffed as she finally pulled Diana into the car. 

“So you planned something,” Diana looked at you.

You smiled at her, “I know you.”

Diana smiled, as she was handed a glass of champagne. 

“Let’s get crazy, bitches!” 

You knew Haylee would take the reigns at some point over the night, it was simply in Haylee’s nature. You weren’t to upset over it, even as maid of honor. 

——

Four shots into the night, multiple lap dances, and two clubs later everyone in the bridal party was drunk, and Haylee was calling the shots as predicted. 

“Let’s go!!!” She was always shouting, “It’s a night for spontaneity.”

The group of girls shouts out, as they all threw back one last shot and stumbled out of the club. 

“Into the Hummer,” Haylee called, “We’ve got a concert to get to!”

Something in your brain registered that this might not be the original plans for the night, but you were so far gone you weren’t even sure what the plans had entailed. And you’re the one who’d made them. The next thing you know, everyone’s being shuttled into the Hummer, and Haylee’s somehow reminding everyone to stay hydrated. So with bottles of water in hand, you head in the direction of wherever Haylee has decided to take the rest of the night. The girls are in the back of the limo, laughing about something someone did at the bar, but your mind drifts as you watch the buildings fly by.

You thought about the letter you sent Shawn, it was a Dear John kind of goodbye letter. Even though you’d sent it a few days prior, you still weren’t sure it was the right choice. Shawn held the most special place in your heart, but you felt like a part of you could never truly leave him, if you continued to have him in your life. Nick deserved better than that. He deserved a girl who wanted to be with him and no one else. You so desperately wanted to fit the mold of that girl.

Eventually, the Hummer pulls to the back of...what looks to be the Madison Square Garden? The building is already booming, and it’s clear that a concert has already started. And come to think of it, it’s really late.

“Wait, why are we coming to the concert when it’s almost over?” You ask Haylee.

“Because I’ve got backstage passes, bitches!” 

What Haylee holds up is a group of Shawn Mendes The Tour passes, that ones Shawn had handed out to all of you at the beginning of the tour, so you could all go to any show you wanted too, without getting tickets or fussing with passes. 

“Wait, what?” You panicked, “We can’t go in there!”

Haylee rolled her eyes, “We sure can, just because you said bye to the rockstar, doesn’t mean we all did.”

Your stomach was tightened as you felt the urge to vomit. You ran to the nearest trash can and hurled yourself over it. 

“Hurry up, girls,” Haylee sang over the crowd. As the group passed by you, Haylee settled a hand on your shoulder. “Remember, it’s not about you tonight, it’s about Dee.”

You pushed yourself up and nodded, following the group of girls into the back door where they showed their passes to a security guard. She was right, this wasn’t about you or Shawn. It was about Dee having a good bachelorette party. You could ignore Shawn for one night. 

Walking into the back hallways, you can hear In My Blood playing through the arena,  which you knew to be Shawn’s closing number. The group of girls turned the corner, and came to be standing right off the stage, where Shawn would exit from. You had two minutes, tops, to prepare yourself. 

Shawn comes running off stage, breathing heavily. He tosses his guitar to a roadie before he sees the group. He stops, seeing you for the first time since reading your letter. And his eyes instantly look tired. Your heart lurches for a moment. 

“Wow, hey girls, what are you doing here?” His body is turned toward Haylee, but his eyes linger on you. They’re sad, doe eyes, and they make her heart hurt just a little more. 

“We are here to party!” Diana hollers, completely out of character for her stoic self, but alcohol has a way of doing that. 

Shawn looks at Haylee for a moment, “Okay, well I am sure Connor would love to party with you.”

The girls holler together, and set off in search of the boy. Shawn heeds a warning at Haylee, asking her to be safe. She responds in kind, and they’re off. You follow at the back of the group, before you hear him turn towards you. 

“Really?” He chokes, “What? You’re just going to write me a letter and just never going to speak to me again. That’s the plan here?”

 You turn to look at him, “Yes, because I care about you. And that’s the problem.”

Shawn scoffs, “Well, I’m calling bullshit. You convinced me to stay touring. You told me not to give up. You said you’d always be here. You said that! You said those things!” Shawn’s voice rose, “And now you’re just going to abandon me!? Just like that? That’s bullshit!”

“I want to give things with Nick a shot, a real shot. I can’t go around flying across the country to see a show for you or having late night phone calls when you can’t fall asleep on the bus. I can’t do those things and still give Nick what he deserves.” Your words are true, but with every word,  you feel like your delivering a fresh stab to your heart. “You know this is going to hurt me too,” your voice cracks, “it’s going to kill me not to see you.”

Shawn took an unstable step towards, you wanted to reach out and grab his hand. You knew you couldn’t do that. “Then why are you doing it?” Shawn questioned, completely broken and vulnerable. “Is Nick that much more important to you?” He waits for a moment, but you stutter, unable to answer him. “Are your feelings for him stronger?”

You gasp, turning on your heel to walk away from him. 

“Look, I get it!” Shawn calls after you. “I get it, you’re scared. You’re scared of us, what we were, what we could actually be. What we still are, so now you’re making the safe choice. Comfortable life with a business man who loves you, over the unpredictable life of a rockstar who’s all over the place.”

You turn back, stomping towards Shawn, “You know what, you don’t know anything about Nick! You don’t know about our life together.” You let out a choked cry, “Don’t tell me how I feel, Shawn! I know this is hard to accept, but what we had, while great, was just for a season. We were a moment in time, Shawn,” it kills you to see the way his eyes are getting glossy, but you forge onward, determined. “And our moment is gone,” you whisper. “It was amazing. And I will cherish it, the memories, and you. But the time has passed.” 

Shawn took another step towards you, now only feet apart. And despite all the chaos around you, of roadies tearing down the stage, you’re locked in with Shawn, you always are. “So then just say it. Say you love Nick more than you love me.”

“Is that what you need to hear? You need me to say it?” 

Shawn nodded. 

“Fine,” you choke out, your voice wavering for only a moment. “I love Nick more.” 

Despite his tears, he smiles, “Oh, honey, you forget that I know you. I know when you’re lying, especially when it’s to yourself.” He paused for a moment, searching your eyes. You stopped breathing for a moment because when Shawn looks at you like that, you feel naked, exposed. It was chilling. Eventually he blinked, chuckled lightly before delivering his closing line, “You wrote a letter to the wrong guy.” 

——

You wrote a letter to the wrong guy. 

Why was loving Shawn so hard? And yet, so terrifyingly easy? What made it impossible to move on? Even when you had the most picture perfect man, waiting for you to come home to him. One that wanted to marry you, have a life with you. A normal life...a safe life. What was so wrong with wanting a safe love? You loved Nick, so why does your heart and mind continually pull you back into Shawn’s atmosphere. 

Dear Nick,

Maybe writing a new letter could help you think.

——

Shawn knew he hadn’t seen the last of her. She could deny it, she could try to move on, move away. But Shawn knew her. And he knew their love. It was everlasting, and their conversation the other night, was enough to tell him. She wasn’t over it. Not even close. Her heart was tugging her just as much in his direction as it was in Nick’s. But what Shawn had going for him was time, honesty, and a passionate love that he knew she’d never have with anyone else. Shawn was the only one to stick by her through thick and thin over the past three years, and he knew that counted for something. Maybe even everything. 

——

“This was supposed to be good for me. This article was supposed to be everything I’d ever dreamed up, but this sucks. This just keeps happening,” Shawn threw his hands up, utterly lost. “I can’t be in your life, you can’t be in my life.”

“Not yet,” You whisper.

“Well when!” 

Shawn waits for a moment but you can’t answer him. You have no answer for him. 

“Hmmm?” He asks again, but you still don’t respond. He shrugs his shoulders, “I can’t do this anymore. 

“Shawn,” you finally speak up.

He simply shook his head, “I’m done.” 

That had been the first time. 

——

“I’m sorry, Shawn. I’m so sorry. I want to make it right. I messed up, please, Shawn. You have to forgive me.”

“I didn’t care about the distance. I didn’t care about not going to sleep every night next to you. I didn’t care about you job having you all over the place just as much as mine does, and us never seeing each other. I didn’t care about you wanting to keep everything a secret, when it fucking killed me inside. I didn’t care about any of it. I chose you. Over all of the crazy chaos. I chose you. I made that choice. Even when you told me you didn’t want to have kids, and I knew I did. I still chose you. I wore my goddamn heart on my sleeve. I loved you with everything inside of me. What more could I possibly have done?” 

You would have expected him to yell maybe, get angry, furious even after what you’d done, but Shawn wasn’t doing any of those things. No, what Shawn was doing was so much worse. He was giving up on you. 

“I love you, but you’re a liar. And whether you realize it or not, your lies are hurting everyone around you.” 

——

“Shawn, one day you’re going to meet the love of your life. And she’s going to sweep you off your feet. And there will never be anyone for you but her.”

“Haylee, what if I already met her.”

“Then nothing will keep the two of you apart.”

——

“What’s keeping me here? I could be anywhere in the world. I could be writing music in fucking Jamaica like Harry Styles. Or backpacking Asia like Niall did. Why do I keep coming back here?”

“You’ve got family here. All your friends. Haylee, Dee… you’ve got me.”

“No,” Shawn choked, “I don’t...have… you. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

——

“I can’t give you the life you want, Shawn.”

“No,” he gripped your neck just a little tighter, but his kiss was so gentle, full of incomprehensible emotions. “The life I want. It’s any life with you.” 

——

The way Shawn saw it, he had two courses of action. Do nothing, letting her leave. Or fight for her, again. One option left him without her, certainly. The other option...provided possibility. 

So he’d fight for her, again. He didn’t care if he’d done it before. He’d do it however many times he had to. If she was scared, then he was determined to make her feel safe. With him. 

Andrew wasn’t fond of the idea, because it required a massive hit to Shawn Mendes brand. In order to really win her back, he’d have to do something drastic. He’d have to give up everything for her, but he was willing. So Shawn left his tour behind, cancelling the last leg. He’d come back eventually, he promised that much. His fans were upset, understandably, but there wouldn’t be much left for Shawn to give them, if he couldn’t fix this. The music only happened because of her after all. She kept him sane. 

So he hopped on a plane back home and prepared to see her again.

——

There was a knock on your door, which was strange for so late in the evening. Weary, you padded over to the front door, opening it slowly. As Shawn came into vision, your entire body froze.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, not even having fully opened the front door. 

“I wrote you a letter, but it’s not a Dear John letter. I know that’s what yours was.” Shawn swung his backpack around and frantically fumbled around his pockets until he held out a piece of folded paper. “Mine is more of a Noah from the Notebook kind of letter.” 

You body was shaking, you realized, as you reached out to take the letter from Shawn’s hand. You took a step away from your door, leaving it open to allow him in. Your throat is tight, and you’re not really sure if you’ve been breathing. 

To the Love of my Life,

Did you know that’s what you are? Did you know that there’s no one else for me? That I’m hopelessly, irrevocably, forever in love with you. There is no one else for me. Not one day do I wake up wanting anyone beside me but you. My life changed the day I met you in the bar, and I knew it in that moment. It might sound cheesy, but shouldn’t everything in a love letter sound so? I’ve written countless songs for you, many you’ve heard over the years, most you never will. I’m well aware I write way to many songs about you, but I can’t help what comes out. My heart aches at the thought of not seeing you, not talking to you, not holding your hand, not kissing you, brushing your hair out of your face in the wind, taking you to see the wonders of the world, doing even the most mundane things with you. My heart aches thinking of a life without you. And I won’t sit back and let you take that from me. I won’t let you take my happiness, not without a fight. The fight of my fucking life, if I have to. Kicking and screaming and tantrums and all. I’ll do it all if it means you’d consider it. I know he’s safe. I know he’s kind to you. I’m sure he loves you too, why wouldn’t he? He’s a good man, if you’re willing to love him. But, darling, it can’t be anything like what we have. Your eyes tell me everything that your lips refuse to say. So if it’s safety you need, then I’ll give it to you. I’d give up everything for you, if you asked me to. I canceled the rest of my tour, just to be here for you. To show you how serious I am about this. About you. I’m not kidding around here. I’m not making jokes. This is our life. Our future. And I want it. Suburb house, picket fence, and seventeen dogs or cats or whatever you want. I just want it all with you. You wrote me a letter saying goodbye because it was easier than fighting. Remember, I know you. I know you love me, just like I love you. So I need you to tell me how I can make this right, because it’s the only thing on my mind. The only thing I care about. Nothing else matters if you’re not in my life. Fame, money, performing, it means absolutely nothing if I can’t share it with you. Let me give you everything you could ever desire. Let yourself be loved by me. Give me a chance to prove it’s not temporary, but that it’s forever. I chose you, please choose me too. Every day is a new day that I fall in love with you.

Love Always, 

Shawn

You’re left utterly speechless. You feel your heart almost physically shatter into pieces, your stomach drops, your mouth goes dry. It’s lovely and romantic and stunning...and so, so confusing. Your mind reels, thinking somehow simultaneously of the most amazing moments of your life, and yet somehow the most painful times as well. There were so many things to unpack. He left tour? There still had to be at least a month’s worth of shows left. Why would he do that? How could he do that? And he did that for you? 

“Shawn,” it’s the breath of a whisper, barely a spoken word between you. 

“Please, let me show you how much I love you,” Shawn desperately grasped your arms, your hands shaking with the letter still tight in your grip. “I need you,” he whispered. 

With tears slowly trickling down your cheeks, you look up at Shawn, the man who is undeniably also the love of your life. Your heart is broken, not because you don’t want him, but because you don’t think you can have him. 

“I’ll stay, when it’s hard, when we make mistakes, through thick and thin. I want to be beside you for every moment. Please tell me you understand what I’m saying.”

“It was never a matter of misunderstanding, Shawn…”

“What do I have to do to show you?”

“Shawn,” you stopped him before he could finish, “Nick, he...he asked me to marry him.”

The color drained from Shawn’s face right before your eyes, and your heart lurched once again. Gone were the doe eyes and rosy cheeks, eager to hear your declaration of love. His eyes were dead, and you couldn’t read his expression at all. 

“I, well, I mean,” you stuttered for a moment. Shawn’s hands dropped from your arms, and he stumbled backwards a step, “I didn’t say yes, I mean, I told him I needed time to think.”

“About what?” Shawn’s voice was ice cold, but you thought maybe you saw a glimmer of hope in his beautiful eyes. 

“You told me I wrote a letter to the wrong guy, and I think you might be right.” 

Shawn’s swallowed hard, “I’m going to tell you one thing, and I really need you to listen to me.”

You nodded, unsure of what was to come, yet somehow mesmerized. 

Shawn took a deep breath, drawing closer to you once again. His eyes remained closed for a beat, gaining composure or confidence, maybe. When he opened his eyes, he peered at you, searching for an answer of sorts. His hand slowly came to rest gently at the nape of your neck. His thumb brushed your chin slowly, once, twice. You closed your eyes for a moment, remembering what this felt like. The familiarity of it all, of Shawn’s touch and presence, aching to come back home. Your lips tremble for a moment, and you finally allow yourself to look at him.

“Honey,” His voice is slow, sweet, like honey. “You know me. And I know you. It’s both beautiful and completely terrifying.” You let out a wet laugh that sounds more like a sob. You’re not entirely sure when you started crying so much. “We may not have always been honest with each other to begin with, but we both had our moments and learned from them. In the end, I was completely honest with you. With my feelings. My intentions. What I want. From this, from you, from our life. I won’t pretend to know Nick or what you did together, but I know us. And I know you. You’re not one to make decisions on a whim, even with a grand romantic gesture.” You nodded, knowing he was right. “If you think about your life and you future, and you see yourself happiest with him, I will accept that. But if you have any doubt about me because of where we left things, you need to tell me. I’ll be honest with you. I want nothing more than to be with you, so if something is holding you back, scaring you. Just tell me so that I can make it right.”

Shawn’s hand trailed from your neck, down your shoulder and arm, until his fingers came to wrap around yours where you still held his letter. He guided your hands to fold the letter. 

“Think about it. You know where to find me, and I’m not going anywhere.” 

Shawn leans forward to press a gentle kiss to your forehead before turning and leaving you alone with your thoughts. 

——

Two days alone with your thoughts. You’d spent most of it in bed. Nick had come home from his business trip yesterday, but you were ignoring him, along with the rest of the world. You’d considered making a pro and con list at one point, but laughed at the idea because you already knew what you wanted. Known it from the start. You were just scared of it, of that life. Your fear of abandonment crept up often, reminding you that you’d never survive being left alone. 

Give me a chance to prove it’s not temporary, but that it’s forever. 

Were words enough to convince you? As if Shawn had only ever given empty promises. You mentally rolled your eyes at your own theatrics. Shawn had time and time again stayed by your side. Even through the break up, the second one that you chose by the way. And even through your relationship with Nick. Even through Shawn’s most recent relationship, though it hadn’t lasted long. None of it ever mattered because somehow you’d still managed to stay friends. And not those friends who just say they’re friends, but never see each other or speak. But real, proper, friends. Shawn was still the most reliable person in your life. And he had been since day one, three years ago. So the fact that you were even scared was stupid and unfounded. 

Why wouldn’t you just allow yourself to be happy? You just wanted to be happy, and you were so tired of holding yourself back. It was exhausting. But you knew what you had to do. You had to finish writing your last letter. And this one, would be the last one. 

Nick was a wonderful, sensible, kind man. He’d find his true love one day, but it wouldn't be with you. He’d find his passionate, knock you off your feet, kind of love with an amazing girl who felt the same way about him as well. That’s what he deserved. And that’s something you couldn’t give him. Living a life of safety was one thing, but holding someone else back because of your own fears was not something you wanted to add to your list of wrongdoings in life. 

So you met with Nick and explained yourself. Apologies would never fix it, but you could do your best to try and mend the wound. You knew he’d be alright though. He’d heal and move forward with life. He was strong enough for that. 

You last stop of the night, and it was your final letter. 

The elevator door opened as you found yourself in a high level condo, front and center, it was Shawn’s home. You knocked, not sure if you were really ready for what was about to happen. But there was simply no going back now, and you were so tired of dangling true happiness over your own head as if it was somehow unattainable, when really it had been right in front of you the whole time. 

Somehow, you felt like you were simply coming back home. 

There’s a turn of the handle, and you take your final breath before the rest of your life changes. Shawn opens the door, coming to find you waiting on the other side. He looked hesitant at first, unsure if this is a good or a bad visit. He steps to the side and gestures for you to come inside. 

As you step into his home, you breathe in the scent of him everywhere. It’s both overwhelming and instantly calming. You take a moment to look at each other before you remember what you came here for in the first place. 

Reaching into the pocket of your black leather jacket, you put out a thin piece of paper. “I have something for you.” You hand the letter to Shawn, who accepts. He doesn’t immediately open it, he just stared at you. He still hadn’t said anything to you, which was unnerving. 

Finally, he unfolds the letter to find the contents to be much different than expected. Not a long letter proclaiming love, but also not yet another long letter bidding farewell. Instead, a short couple sentences, only containing eleven words.

You were right. I wrote a letter to the wrong guy. 

Shawn looked up at you with the most sincere expression, eyes watering and bulging. His cheeks rosy pink, and his neck tense in anticipation. “You’re sure?” He whispers, scared that you may go back on your words.

But you’re not going back. This is it for you. This is the final step. This is the completion of a long story with Shawn, and the start of a whole new sequel. The rest of your life. It starts tonight. Not because you’d found your dream man. Not because you were in love. Not even because you were no longer terrified of your future. The rest of your life started now because you finally chose to stop lying to yourself, and you were ready to let yourself be happy. As far as you were concerned, that was reason enough to consider the future exciting. 

You take a step closer to Shawn, reaching out for his hand, where he readily meets you halfway. You’re are equally teary eyed because you can’t believe what you’re about to say, “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I want to be happy again, Shawn. Can we be happy together?” 

Shawn let out a quiet sob before connecting his lips to yours in earnest. His kiss is soft at first, taking his time to allow you to respond. But quickly his hand finds its way to the nape of your neck, and his lips widen just a bit with a smile. He lets out a quiet giggle into your mouth, and you smile. He’s happy. You feel it radiating off his body, and there’s not a feeling quite like it. You take a step back from him, just looking at his teary, happy eyes. The excitement and just pure joy coming out of this boy makes your heart swell. You love him so much, you’ve never loved anyone quite like this. 

“I love you so much, Shawn,” Your whisper falls out of your lips. 

“I love you too. Thanks for writing me another letter.”

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