#those thoughts dont go anywhere except doodles like this. if you were wondering.

[zrllosyn-art]

Face your past, and all that.

OC!Doctor. Honestly a bunch of arknights is learning what kind of fucked up shit the doc did in the past. I sometimes think about how the doctor of the past is an unchanging thing, but the current one is determined by our actions.

[ac-ars]

Sweet dreams are made of these

dont ask me whats that because i dont know

Sweet dreams are made of these

Luna isn’t sure how she gets to the Blake; probably with Ambar, by car while Tino is driving, but she is so lost in her thoughts since she woke up, that there’s no point in trying to remember. She just walks slowly towards entrance of the Blake with empty and yet full head until Nina catches her with a smile.

“Luna, how are you? You look super lost.” She asks her and brunette just shrugs softly.

“I had weird night, but that’s nothing serious. I will wake up in a few.” Luna mumbles, but knows perfectly that it’s not any truth. Pictures are still walking around her head, she can hear sounds and even smell some scents, and that’s the worst case she’s been in recently. Nina just nods, believing her at least partly and links their arms to pull Luna towards the class. Brunette tries to focus, tries to listen to her best friend who talks excitedly about something, but she’s not able to and it gets worse when while watching her feet taking steps, Luna crashes into someone, who catches her waist keeping her from falling down.

She looks up and her heart stops. His smirk makes her remember more, she sees it again in her head, her thoughts even sharper than before. Luna prays for him not to say anything, yet of course he has to.

“Delivery girl, falling for me once again?” The voice, that she’s been listening to in her sleep, asks in this smug tone, the one he uses always while smirking and this is the first time she’s not able to answer.

Luna is completely sure that both Nina and Gastón are staring at her, since even Matteo seems to be surprised with her sudden lack of words and slides his hands off her waist slowly, but leaves one on her hip. She shivers not sure how to survive this and he sighs frowning. “Are you okay?”

Brunette moves her eyes to his lips when he speaks, remembering how soft they were against her skin at night and wondering if they would feel like this in reality. She knows she has to answer eventually and, hoping it will be enough, nods softly.

Matteo smiles at her, pulling away, and making her ache for his hands on her. Luna knows, thought, that now all she needs is to focus on living like normal person is, trying to be casual or at least keeping it cool. Luna is the worst at being casual, and feels like in one second her cheeks get warm (and probably red) before Gastón nudges Matteo mumbling him that they have class now and it somehow wakes Balsano up. He winks slightly at Luna and passes her and Nina by, brushing his arm with hers softly.

Brunette can only take sharp breath and turn around to watch how he goes away with his confident walk. She eyes him up and down, not sure how it’s possible for her mind to create a picture of him that takes her breath away, but she loves it and hates at the same time.

Her best friend just takes her hand and makes her run towards the room they have to be in like five minutes, and brunette lets her; blessing the fact that she trusts Nina enough to lead her anywhere she wants without being afraid of crashing into the wall.

In chemistry class Luna is doodling soft patterns and flowers on margins in her notebook. She’s supporting her chin with her hand and is almost only half awake, or more like half here, half focused on what her head keeps giving her.

Matteo has been her friend for a long, long time. They were only friends despite the kiss during the competition they both denied (super, super long ago), and it was fine. It was fine; they were touchy, hugging or kissing cheeks hi, his arm was often around her shoulders and it was great. It all felt super normal until he started to appear in her dreams.

Luna can’t say why it all started, if it’s because of hormones or just because she’s seeing him more and more, wanting more and more, but those dreams were just about being closer to him. They got worse recently, when they were ending up with lips crashing together like waves and his hands started moving all around her body, letting her imagine more and be more disappointed with every morning.

Today her brain went farther than ever and she doesn’t really remember how it happened, but he was almost everywhere. His lips and his hands, more his fingers were slowly sliding in every place they managed and honestly Luna is the most frustrated about the fact she was already close, for the first time, yet she was woken up by her mom, definitely too late to stay in bed and try to bring pictures back. Then, of course, she was super awkward next to her mom. There was no time for shower, so she’s been hot and bothered ever since and this is unbelievably annoying that she has no idea how to let the tension out.

Next time it happens it’s already few days later. Maybe already, maybe just few days, because Luna still has barely shaken out of the weird fuzzy feeling anytime she sees Matteo, but she’s making a progress. Tonight it wasn’t as much as last time, but they were making out, in her bedroom and Luna curses her brain so much for making her instantly call him and invite over, seconds after waking up. This time the dream was stopped by cruel alarm in her phone and maybe it’s still better than being woken up by her mother.

She doesn’t really see him at school whole day and it’s probably better for all of them. All temperature, that has kept her blood boiling for few days, calmed down and now Luna can breathe again slowly and even take conscious decisions. That’s of course until she and Nina along with Jim and Yam enter Jam and Roller laughing about something. Suddenly Luna sees him and is lost again, everything else seems to fade a little; it’s not really because of him him, but of the fact that every single time she looks at him, she hears him whispering her name and feels his tongue on her skin.

He is standing with Gastón, nothing surprised, his arms are crossed and there’s focused frown on his face. His eyebrows are raising and falling down from time to time, why his lower lip is between his teeth. Luna gasps remembering how he was doing the same with her in her dream; how he sat on her bed and looked up at her face before pulling to his lap and kissing at first sweetly. She wanted more, of course she did; fully knowing that it was a dream she let herself more than she would ever in the reality and there’s this small thought in her brain, hoping that she will mistake the imagination with real world.

Girls pull her towards them as soon as they notice Ramiro talking to the guys as well and Luna knows she is fucked. They not only make her go and be close to Matteo; they make her sit down by the table while he’s standing next to her with his hands on the back of her chair.

Luna feels this urge to lean back to him and she isn’t really able to fight it so she does exactly what her mind tells. Brunette rests her back against cold chair and shivers softly while Matteo takes his hands to her arms. He starts drawing small circles on her skin with his thumbs without even taking his eyes of someone he’s talking to. Luna doesn’t care who it is, but she blesses herself for wearing tank top today so her arms are uncovered and his skin touches her skin without anything between except straps of her top.

He slowly slides his fingers to her shoulders and again up almost until he reaches her neck. She sighs softly, relaxing under his touch and feeling more comfortable around him again than in last days. Matteo traces her collarbones with his fingertips making her almost shiver, but she can only bite her lower lip.

Luna isn’t sure how long they are like this, because she turned her brain off, until she feels his thumbs sliding under the straps of her top and maybe it wouldn’t alarm her so loud, but they end up also under straps of her bra. Brunette takes deep breath feeling how her chest is rising with it, but she doesn’t want to look up at Matteo, worried that he could stop. It’s nothing, she keeps telling herself, yet it doesn’t feel like nothing; it just brings to her head memories of him kissing her skin while sliding down those very same straps.

This is definitely much more than she’s able to handle when people are around them.

“Do you want something to drink?” She can hear his voice just by her ear and his breath is tickling her skin making her tremble.

“What?” Luna asks looking up and Matteo chuckles softly, repeating the question. Valente wakes up quickly, being super obvious. “Ah, yes. It would be nice.”

She sends him smile and he smiles back mumbling that he will be right back.

As soon as he is gone, the warmth on her skin is too, but the tangled bundle in her stomach stays very, very long.

Today it’s bad. Super bad for Luna, because she is a mess, the biggest mess ever (especially) after the nap she had this afternoon and now Matteo is here, waking her up. This one hit her like a train and she can’t say if she’s glad that he woke her up or not; she wanted to finally feel this, but getting back to normal on his eyes later would be embarrassment of the century, he would find out or something and Luna would be screwed.

They set up the meeting to study at her place and it wouldn’t be anything wrong, Luna’s head chilled recently, it means no Balsano in her dreams what made her lowkey disappointed - all she could do was daydreaming and it wasn’t really helping.

Matteo sits down on the bed, smiling at her and turning his focus back to the notebook he took out of his backpack few seconds ago, while she is trying to gather herself, because he is here and he was in her head moments before, and she is still lost.

He asks her something, but she doesn’t answer, she’s not able to, and all of his focus is back to Luna making her lose his breath. His eyes set on her face, looking for something, searching, and brunette is sure she doesn’t want him to find anything there.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asks softly, pulling one of strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Yes, I’m great. I just need to wake up,” she says and smiles a little at him.

“You look super weird. Do you have a fever or something?” Matteo leans to her and rests his hand on her forehead with small pout. “Weird,” he murmurs to himself and Luna just shakes her head.

“Don’t worry. I’m just a little confused after the dream.” As soon as she says it she knows she’s fucked.

“What dream, delivery girl?” Italian asks her, tilting his head to left a little and she bites on her lower lip, completely unsure what to tell him now. She can’t have him knowing about this; one it would screw up their friendship ultimately and two, it sounds weird as fuck, and three, he would never let her live with this. The fact that she was the one to get hot Matteo as best friend doesn’t really allow her to want something more. Even if for now she wants to let out all build tension in her body, that would be enough, but cold shower when he’s here is a big no no.

Luna shakes her head and he softly pushes her back to the bed. She almost chokes at this, but he rests next to her, on his side, supporting his head with his hand. “Do you want to chill? We can study later after all. Dreams can be super confusing,” he says and she feels like he knows perfectly what was in her head, what keeps being in her head all the time.

“Would you mind if I wanted?” She asks with small voice and he shakes his head smiling a little. Luna smiles back moving a little closer to him, but not too close.

Matteo apparently has different plans and after few minutes of playing with her hair he settles on his back and pulls her to his chest. Luna almost chokes; she’s hugged him tightly before, of course, but definitely not in bed with the door closed (even her mother told them to do this, because Tino and Cato are being themselves again). She hides in his neck, hoping that he won’t see her blush this way as he rests one of his hands on her lower back.

“Is it okay?” he asks her and she nods, getting from him kiss to her forehead. “If you want to nap, I will wake you up later, so you can sleep,” he mumbles against her skin making her move even closer to him.

He is definitely too warm and comfy for Luna to stay away.

She’s almost half asleep when she feels his fingers sliding softly to her back under her tshirt, and she wouldn’t react at all, but this is too relaxing to melt and he is all she can focus on. He is stroking her skin as gently as possible and Luna isn’t sure how she can be all trembling with something like this. At some point she even thinks that she fell asleep once again, his soft voice can’t be just imagination though.

“Luna,” he whispers. “What do you think, maybe we can take a break?”

Brunette stares at him confused after she raised up her head slightly. “What? Aren’t we having a break already?”

Matteo shakes his head, amused, while his hand is slowly moving up her back. She can almost barely register it. “No, we can have a break for studying.”

“I don’t wanna study,” brunette whines and Italian chuckles, confusing her even more.

He slides her off himself to the bed and moves so he can hover over her. “I guess you can kick me for that, or slap, or throw out of your room, but I would like to teach you something. And it has nothing with physics.” His smirk makes Luna blush and she has no idea how to form a word. She can only nod, curious and lace her own fingers on her stomach when he leans slowly and kisses her lips.

Brunette gasps into his mouth and he pulls away, looking at her worried, but she just takes deep breath and closes the distance between their lips once again, trying to keep it slow. The kiss ends up being almost lazy and careless, though she likes it this way, the way she can turn off any thinking and just let her lips move with his.

Matteo smiles into the kiss softly, and she trembles, not being able to believe that they are kissing right now, just like she saw once or twice in her head; her hands are I'm his hair until she slides one of them to his back and pulls him down. His body ends up being pressed to hers tightly, but she doesn't mind the weight at all, probably because he is still supporting himself with his hands on both sides of her head.

Her tongue reaches for his slowly yet without hesitation, and he moves one of his hands under her neck to deepen the kiss even more. She hums softly while resting her fingers on his arms and slide them down to his chest. They hook under edge of his shirt, but she gets another idea and smiles before starting to unbutton his shirt.

His lips slide along her jaw until he reaches her neck and Luna leans her head back to give him better access, what he uses to suck on her skin. She moans softly, making sure that his shirt is off his shoulders and off him, and that she can try if his skin is as soft everywhere. Matteo catches her skin with his teeth almost too hard, but she already knows that it will stay there for longer.

“What was your dream about, delivery girl?” He asks her with breathless voice. “Was it about me?”

Luna just tangles her fingers in his hair pulling him up to her lips, to kiss him hungrily and desperately, because she needs him to shut up. Matteo breaks the kiss and brunette feels almost offended, yet then he just takes off her tshirt and pushes her back down with his body.

Just a little later his hands are everywhere, exactly like in her dreams.