#those are just the parallels i remembered while watching rogue there could be more

[hudders-and-hiddles]

this ep had such family of blood vibes. a family of aliens killing humans and wearing them as a disguise, a cloaked ship, faces of past doctors, scent as misdirection, a dance, a love interest and an offer to become a companion, eternal entrapment as punishment for invoking the doctor's wrath

idk exactly where i'm going with this really but something something it's all pretend--the chuldur and the family of blood both wearing humans as literal costumes, ten locking away his own memories and changing his dna to convince everyone including himself that he's john smith...

[teamironmanforever]

HIGHLIGHT TRANSLATION OF THE SPANISH DUB ACTOR GUILLERMO ROJAS

Guillermo Rojas - Spanish Dubbing actor for Dean since season 12 until 15x18 (he contracted Covid and was unable to record 15x19 or 15x20 - he has yet to record those) 

INTERVIEWER: “Memo (nickname for Guillermo), I am not sure if you knew, but you broke the internet” 

MEMO: “Yes, a lot of people sought me out when this happened. I am so sorry I wasn’t able to answer at length all of your questions, but I was right in the middle of dealing with Covid. I couldn’t speak without feeling like I was drowning. Right now I am going to (voice) therapy. While it is not too dreary, there are 2 continued effects, so I couldn’t answer everyone who contacted me through various ways - through FB, instagram and an old youtube channel that I haven’t used in years - with respect to the situation that occurred between Dean and his friend (Cas). 

MEMO: “We try to follow (our lines) in what we see of the acting. Remember that dubbing is something where we must make a parallel alignment in our own language. Under the guidelines given to us by the client, we try to expand on all possibilities and all the alignments and - as actors - they permit us to give 100% of ourselves. So there isn’t a limit per se, so long as you don’t go off track (from what was requested from the client)” 

INTERVIEWER: “What were the guidelines for the line that broke the internet” 

MEMO: “It’s curious because neither the director nor us the actors knew much about the tendency that existed. Because we didn’t have much previous information that suggested that something like this would happen. To be honest when we recorded it, we were asking wait what’s happening? I mean we did it, but no one knew this was coming neither in the production studio nor amongst the actors.” 

INTERVIEWER “I need to ask for a clarification here. I mean we are talking about the love declaration Cas made to Dean after 12 years of intense eye-contact. But the big question is Dean’s answer. Because EVERYONE heard in your voice that clear “And I you, Cas”

MEMO “And I you, yes.” 

INTERVIEWER “Where does that “And I you” come from? Was it you? What happened there?” 

“The adaptation came entirely from my director (Adrian Fogarty). He adapted it and gave us our acting guidelines, and I performed accordingly - I gave what he asked of me. We all loved it. We never saw it coming so overtly.... If you remember across all seasons, we rarely see Dean get involved with any women. It just didn’t happen, unlike his brother. He just never got involved. It wasn’t his thing, especially because we have his brother to compare him to. We saw (Sam) in a relationship in the past 2 seasons with Eileen which was a very intense relationship, and very painful in the end. Dean never had to suffer through that. They tied Dean’s pain to the loss of his mother since he lost her more than once.” 

FB question: “So It wasn’t a rogue translator, it was a rogue director”

MEMO: “Look, Fogarty has some really intense abilities and one of them is to adapt the dialogue. When you see him translate a script, when he has the time to do it - even when he is not the one directing - and he leaves it in Spanish. The dialogue said, if I remember correctly, “me too” or something like that and then we switched it to “and I you” due to effects of lip movement, rhythm, etc... We don’t all have the ability that Fogarty has, that speed which he has, to think and translate immediately. We are a team and we work together, and pool our collective abilities, and of course Fogarty does his part. You need a Fogarty in every company.” 

(The interviewer mentioned that her cat hates Sam Winchester and loves dubbed Dean’s voice). 

INTERVIEWER “Do you know what Dean said in the original script before Fogarty got his hands on it?”

“Yes, of course. It made allusions to that. (Fogarty) made the right translation. It said and so do I or me too or something like that. It said it in the (original) script.” 

INTERVIEWER: “When you heard the english version while you recorded yours, did you hear Dean say I love you too?” 

MEMO: “No. If I would have, I would have taken the earphone out and gone what the fuck? *laughs*” 

INTERVIEWER: “What was your favorite episode to film?” 

MEMO: “With my short-term memory, I would say this last one (15x18), because it says so much. In one scene, it says it all. It was impressive, and so beautiful. I never saw it coming.” 

Interviewer “Well you have broken tumblr again.” 

MEMO: “Okay *Laughs*. Well, that’s good. Thank you very much.” 

MEMO: “I think it’s clear to everyone that the fact that he (fogarty?) broke the internet, with this information was a surprise for everyone. Absolutely everyone. Because we all say that if someone wants to be a “real man” we have to be like Dean. In fact it’s something very beautiful for me because it has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with feelings. It was a play by the writers that was marvelous. You didn’t see it coming, but damn do you like it.” 

MEMO: “Nothing was left out of the translation... No I was not called to re-record the “and I you”. I have not been asked to remake the dubbing. My director perfectly understood the texture of the text.” 

INTERVIEWER “Do you know if Supernatural has a quality review for the dubbing through Warner Bros?” 

MEMO: “I would be lying to you if I said yes, but I have been working for WB (LatAM) for many years as both an actor and director. And there is some specific material where they do have “filters”, but with something like supernatural I doubt it. I would assume the one left in charge of all decisions was our director (Fogarty).” 

INTERVIEWER “Have you been interpreting Dean as in love with Castiel this entire time or was it a surprise for you?” 

MEMO: “No, never, it was a surprise. In fact, to be entirely honest, to my closest friends - of the same gender - I do use the phrase “te amo”. I don’t have any issues with that. So I actually thought it went that way - but then I found out it was romantic.” 

INTERVIEWER: “Guillermo, what is your opinion, of destiel now that you know the nature of their relationship.” 

“Well it was a revelation for everyone - including me. I love how they handled it because we didn’t see it coming. And I think, of our understanding of the character’s traits and psychology, we know that if someone knows how to repress their feelings, it’s Dean Winchester. *laughs*” 

INTERVIEWER: “What would you say to Cas if he came back from the empty?” 

MEMO: “He came back?! (he hasn’t seen 15x19 or x20)

INTERVIEWER: “No I am saying what would he say IF he did” 

MEMO: “Oh, okay. I was under the assumption that I said I loved him so long as he wasn’t planning on coming back! *laughs* Well if he returns I guess I would say “Hello, Cas”.  

INTERVIEWER: *Tells MEMO about the not for nothing cas but the last person who looked at me like that I got laid” 

MEMO: OKAAAAY *laughs* That was too much. *laughs* 

INTERVIEWER: Would you be this fandom’s Godfather? 

MEMO: But of course *smiles* This was a big thing, from what I see. 

INTERVIEWER: “What message would you give to the fans who are descovering the spanish dub?” 

“first, thanks a lot of being part of the mexican dubbing. We do this job with all the heart and all the passion that we have. And I think I speak for all involved in this industry. We are glad to note that there are so many people from other countries that are watching these new projects in another language. So I have no words but thanks a lot.” 

INTERVIWER: “What would be your ideal ending for Dean Winchester” 

MEMO “I think, for all of them, they have sacrificed their lives and that of their loved ones for the safety and well being of everyone else. I think if anyone deserves to be well, happy, and calm, at least it’s those three (Sam, Cas, and Dean).” 

INTERVIEWER: “What about jack?” 

MEMO “Jack did attach himself to them, but I think he could find happiness in another nest.” *laughs* 

[swanqueensalad]

Is your question thingy still on? if so, would you rate top10 episodes to watch if you want swanqueen :)

ahhh this is such a good question!! and my ask box is literally always open for anything, i love chatting with y'all <3

this is Not a comprehensive list, just ten great ones that come to mind (plus two bonus ones and a lot of rambling bc, as always, i got carried away).

i've tried to put them in chronological order for the show!

1. a land without magic (1x22)

don't get me wrong, there's a lot of incredible swan queen episodes in season one (the pilot, desperate souls, that still small voice) but the content in finale just does something to me man...

emma pinning regina against the wall, the intensity of the confrontation and regina admitting everything, the way they're instantly a TEAM despite all that fury and heartache because henry comes before anything else, the literal entire sequence paralleling charming fighting maleficent and saving snow to emma fighting maleficent and saving regina, i -

2. broken (2x01)

feel like this a bit of a rogue one since, again, s2 has lots of good stuff, but there's a LOT going on in the premiere! emma promising to protect regina for henry (which we know develops into this kind of sacred oath she fulfils at her own peril over and over throughout the years) and being so attentive to her, saving her from the mob, helping her to her feet, human-shielding her, and the look on regina's face when emma's touch restarts her magic and opens a portal to another realm - the literal requirements for 'true love'. so, so good.

3. the cricket game (2x10)

a classic. emma starting to not only see but fight for the woman regina really is. this strange developing trust and respect, the desire to not be enemies for a brief second before it goes wrong again.

4. and straight on til morning (2x22)

i will never be able to scream enough about the sq development in the s2 finale. regina being the most vulnerable and herself in front of emma, begging her to let her die as herself because she knows she's the only one who could understand and grant her that - and emma not letting her, emma jumping in and finding their shared magic together for the first time to save each other and everyone else. emma speechless, seeing everything regina feels for henry.

also "you might not be strong enough but maybe we are" is one of my favourite swan queen lines, because i think it just sums up the whole ship!

5. going home (3x11)

jumping to the 3A finale, what can i say? once again, as always when it comes to henry, they are a team above all else. the group hugs, henry calling them 'mom, mama', emma being a human shield again, regina whispering her name as she wakes up, ready to give emma everything she ever wanted for herself and their son.

the incredibly intimacy and intensity of their goodbye and all those things unsaid and unfinished between them. *chefs kiss*

6. breaking glass (4x05)

ok so despite the stupid frozen arc, season 4 is actually one of my favourites for swan queen content, bc you have emma promising to give regina a happy ending in the premiere and seeing that all the way through to sacrificing herself for her in the finale. and that's what dreams are made of.

i specifically mention breaking glass bc there's so much sq screen time. emma is gutted that regina thinks she'll never have her back, literally follows her around all episode trying to prove the opposite (in the same way hook follows her around lmao), elsa telling emma not to give up on her.

and there's that gorgeous scene where emma is so honest with her about the two of them having something special and unique and different from what they have with anyone else, and that hopeful 'it's a start' ... i ...

7. operation mongoose (4x22)

what would be a list of top tier swan queen episodes without the climax of all that 'fighting for her happiness' - the saviour sacrificing herself to the darkness to save regina. this was truly the peak of ouat i swear to go d

also lots of nice stuff in the alternate reality with emma, henry and regina!

(before i move on from season 4 i do have to mention bonus episode: lily - emma's super gay fucking backstory, regina telling her she needs her, the first (?) swan queen road trip!, regina talking emma down from shooting lily/beating up that dude because she believes so strongly in emma's goodness)

8. dreamcatcher (5x05)

i remember after this episode came out, there was a post circulating of a bunch of c$ fans saying they were literally worried sq was becoming canon/getting undeniable.

so yeah. everything in this episode is pure gold. the swan mills family dynamics, regina trusting emma with her most painful memory, emma crying over the dreamcatcher, and that deliciously tense argument on regina's porch that was so electric it made sq feel inevitable. ('don't miss swan me, we've been through too much' is another favourite line!)

9. only you (5x22)

swan queen road trip, them being married af the whole time plus regina once again being her most open and vulnerable with emma? what more do you need

10. wish you were here (6x10)

this is another episode i don't think i can ever scream about enough - there's just so much to unpack! firstly, emma becoming enfuriated and attacking the evil queen because she's upsetting regina. secondly, regina thoughtlessly wishing to be sent after emma to get her back. thirdly... emma swan waking herself up from a curse and remembering who she is, sparking her own magic back to life, because even in her most cursed unknowing state she had to save regina mills.

how do you ever get over that (also they're so soft together once emma's awake, i...)

honorable mentions go to

enter the dragon (4x15) - for regina's gay backstory with mal, emma being insanely protective of regina and literally following her around all night super unhappy about her being in danger ('if i see anything i don't like i will come in blazing' oof) all the while regina is doing it to protect emma in return, jesus christ -

birth (5x08) - purely for the scene at the well where regina begs emma to tell her why she's hanging on to the darkness (aka begging emma to admit she loves her, while emma is being super repressed but they both know that's what they're talking about)

i'll be your mirror (5x08) - for all that good married sq teamwork content in the mirrorworld, regina admitting she's scared to raise henry alone and emma promising to always be there and never let anything bad happen, and the softness and tenderness of them watching him dance with violet and realising they've done such a good job together... i'm so weak bruh

[shivroyslut]

I just listened to the whole Evermore album and I’m now on my second listen so here is Evermore songs I think are destiel related and whether they’re from Dean’s or Cas’ perspective (or both) - add more lyrics/parallels if you like

willow - both

“Wherever you stray I will follow”

champagne problems - okay tbh i dont see this as either of them but that one line...

“Your Midas touch on the Chevy door November flush and your flannel cure” - MS SWIFT ??? ARE YOU A HELLER ???? CHEVY, NOVEMBER, AND FLANNEL IN THE SAME SENTENCE ???

gold rush - Cas

“Cause I don't like a gold rush, gold rush; I don't like anticipatin' my face in a red flush; I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch; Everybody wants you; Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you; Walk past, quick brush; I don't like slow motion, double vision in rose blush; I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush” - yeah this is just Cas simping on Dean for so many seasons

“What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?” - But still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester

 ‘tis the damn season - both

“There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me; But if it's all the same to you; It's the same to me” - uhm this is just them fighting every season then making up a few epis later

“I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave” - PURGATORY

“I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay” - THIS IS JUST THE ENTIRE DESTIEL ARC IN THE FIRST HALF OF S15 LMAO

“Now I'm missing your smile, hear me out; We could just ride around; And the road not taken looks real good now” - this is Dean brooding every time Cas dies

tolerate it - Cas

“I sit and watch you; I notice everything you do or don't do”

“I wait by the door like I'm just a kid“

“If it's all in my head tell me now; Tell me I've got it wrong somehow”

“While you were out building other worlds, where was I?” - okay this is dean though

“Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?; I made you my temple, my mural, my sky; Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life” - this is Cas when they are fighting

“Always taking up too much space or time; You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I; Break free and leave us in ruins” - again when Dean is being an idiot and they fight

happiness - Cas

“But there was happiness because of you” - Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. You changed me. 

“Past the blood and bruise; Past the curses and cries; Beyond the terror in the nightfall; Haunted by the look in my eyes; That would've loved you for a lifetime; Leave it all behind” - ms swift are you a Cas girl ??

“All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness” - literally Cas just wanting Dean to forgive him for everything

coney island - Dean

“If I can't relate to you anymore; Then who am I related to?” - every time Dean feels betrayed by Cas but especially in s6 when Cas teams up with Crowley, like my man had so much trust in Cas only for him to be wrong

“Sorry for not making you my centerfold”

“The question pounds my head; What's a lifetime of achievement; If I pushed you to the edge?; But you were too polite to leave me; And do you miss the rogue; Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?; Will you forgive my soul; When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?” - no offence but this is exactly what went through Dean’s head when he was sitting there crying after Cas got yeeted into the empty

“Over and over; Lost again with no surprises; Disappointments, close your eyes; And it gets colder and colder; When the sun goes down” - Dean mourning every time Cas died after the second time

“And when I got into the accident; The sight that flashed before me was your face; But when I walked up to the podium I think that I forgot to say your name” - uhm Dean seeing Cas as his life flashed before his eyes when he got impaled by the rusty nail and wanted him by his side but the writers were cowards he got caught up in the moment with Sammy and didn’t pray for him to come

“But I think that I forgot to say your name; Over and over” - i just think Dean is hard on himself for not keeping Cas closer to him after Cas died in 15x18

ivy - Dean

“How's one to know?; I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones In a faith forgotten land; In from the snow; Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow; Tarnished but so grand” - I’M THE ONE WHO GRIPPED YOU TIGHT AND RAISED YOU FROM PERDITION

“And the old widow goes to the stone every day; But I don't, I just sit here and wait; Grieving for the living” - Dean just wanting a win (Cas back) in s13

“I wish to know; The fatal flaw that makes you long to be; Magnificently cursed” - you know just Cas being very cursed throughout the whole show, and the fatal flaw is his love for Dean humanity

“I'd live and die for moments that we stole; On begged and borrowed time” - i think this is for both cause Cas’ line “Dean you know I always appreciate our talks and our time together” but Dean definitely feels the same way I mean he made Cas watch all those movies

cowboy like me - both (very destiel)

“Never wanted love; Just a fancy car; Now I'm waiting by the phone; Like I'm sitting in an airport bar” - this is painfully obviously Dean

“Eyes full of stars; Hustling for the good life; Never thought I'd meet you here; It could be love; We could be the way forward; And I know I'll pay for it” - very obvious Cas line 

“And the skeletons in both our closets; Plotted hard to fuck this up” - just the universe not wanting them to be together

long story short - Cas

“I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me”

“And I fell from the pedestal; Right down the rabbit hole” 

“When I dropped my sword; I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door; And we live in peace; But if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready” - Cas always coming back and willing to give up everything for Dean

“And he feels like home”

“Now I'm all about you”

marjorie - both (but mainly Dean)

“Never be so kind; You forget to be clever; Never be so clever; You forget to be kind” 

“And if I didn't know better; I'd think you were talking to me now” - No I’m not talking to him, *proceeds to talk to and protect each other*

“What died didn't stay dead” - yah

“I should've asked you questions; I should've asked you how to be; Asked you to write it down for me; Should've kept every grocery store receipt; Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me” - Dean keeping the trench coat every time Cas dies

closure - Dean (but a little Cas)

“And seeing the shape of your name; Still spells out pain” - Dean after 15x18 seeing ‘Castiel’ on the table

“It cut deep to know ya, right to the bone”

“Don't treat me like; Some situation that needs to be handled” - can be Cas too

“I'm fine with my spite; And my tears, and my beers and my candles” - his anger stage when hes undergoing his 5 stages of grief after 15x18, and like every time he and Cas fight

“I don't need your closure” - ^

evermore - both ( this song is so destiel make this their fucking theme song)

“Motion capture; Put me in a bad light; I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone; Trying to find the one where I went wrong; Writing letters; Addressed to the fire” - Cas whenever Dean kicks him out and he doesn’t understand why or when Dean just let’s him go; and Dean in purgatory when he realises Cas was hiding from him, when he changed his memory to believe he let go of Cas, when he found out that Cas is the one who let him go. There is honestly so many examples for this line

“And I was catching my breath; Staring out an open window; Catching my death; And I couldn't be sure; I had a feeling so peculiar; That this pain would be for evermore” - Cas when he realises that he is in love with Dean but he can never be with him; and Dean when he thought he left Cas in purgatory and every time Cas died

“Hey December; Guess I'm feeling unmoored; Can't remember; What I used to fight for; I rewind thе tape but all it does is pause; On thе very moment, all was lost; Sending signals; To be double-crossed” - Cas when heaven pushed him away repeatedly and also when Dean pushed him away repeatedly when he was the whole reason he rebelled; and Dean when he just wanted that win in s13 and every other time he had doubt 

“Cannot think of all the cost; And the things that will be lost; Oh, can we just get a pause?; To be certain, we'll be tall again; Whether weather be the frost; Or the violence of the dog days; I'm on waves, out being tossed; Is there a line that I could just go cross?” - you know like whenever they feel hopeless; reminds me of the diner scene in s14e14 where they are talking about Michael

“And when I was shipwrecked; I thought of you; In the cracks of light; I dreamed of you; It was real enough; To get me through; I swear you were there” - Cas simping for Dean; Dean after escaping from purgatory seeing Cas everywhere

Anyways these are just my thought and links don’t attack me I’m just out here wasting time on a ship I was obsessed with in 2015 (I mean I am on break from uni and am jobless). Feel free to add more lyrics or parallels I’m pretty sure I missed quite a few. I do acknowledge that the album is definitely not about destiel and about Taylor herself but its just fascinating to find all these lyrical links to Dean and Cas’ relationship. 

[hansolmates]

jjk; angel’s trumpet [bonus]

summary; one second, your life is flashing before your eyes and the next, you’re transported into a world exactly like your own. but the jungkook you meet in this world isn’t a renowned singer or your former almost-lover, in fact he has no clue who you are and why you know him so well. as you work to find your way home lost and confused, you conclude that you’re either dead or in the middle of the most wicked drug trip of your life. pairing; idol!jk x reader (f), alternatively film producer!jk x reader genre/warnings; fluff, angst, supernatural, idol!au, non-idol!au, alternate universes, themes of fate, language, alcohol consumption, in this chapter–nudity boobies! w.c; 2.2k a/n; why did a week go by so stinkin’ fast? i’m not ready to let go of this couple! that being said, i wouldnt mind posting some drabble babbles about these two or four. im utterly thankful for the love and passion my readers had for this, i had so many kind readers that kept me afloat through all of. i can’t wait to see you in the next one, and i hope you enjoy this little glimpse💕

[final] [bonus] -> masterpost

“You’re not Jimin.” 

Jungkook’s eyes snap open, and he takes note of the change in air. Chalk it up to the open window or the fact that the rain’s evaporated, but he can’t help the pinch of pain in his heart as he realizes that you’re far, far gone from this world. 

And in your place, is you. Not quite you, but it’s almost scary how easy it is to regard your visage and simple conversation. 

“Jimin,” he repeats, as if he heard you wrong. “As in, Park Jimin? Tiny guy with a big ego?” 

“Yes,” you reply blandly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Your eyes are sparkless, flickering between your state of nakedness and his state of nakedness. “I know I wasn’t exactly sober last night, but I distinctly remember telling him he’d be in my bed tonight,” and you regard Jungkook with a sort of pointed look, unable to decipher your situation, “but here you are. Still cupping by boob.” 

Out of reflex, he squeezes his palm. Yep, that’s yours. 

A little part of him also wants to yell to the heavens because you failed to tell him you were hooking up with Park Jimin before all of this. 

Okay technically you didn’t, but the person in front of him did. 

His heart is fresh and stinging like a hot cut on the asphalt. He watches you take in your surroundings, humming when you notice the new clothes on the rack and the way your desk has been rearranged. Jungkook is trying very hard to be patient, after all you’re a stranger and suddenly he feels like he’s the one that’s known you all his life. Oh, how the tables have turned. 

You stretch, testing out your limbs as they pop and crackle at your command. You run a hand through your strawberry-smelling hair, and Jungkook has to grip the sheets to not go by instinct and take you right then and there on this mattress. With a shameless groan of satisfaction, you flop against your bed. Jungkook tries, emphasis on try, to not watch as your breasts bounce and the way your hair flows around your pillow like the angel you are, but he’s rendered smitten. 

“Uh,” boobies boobies boobies. 

You pointedly ignore his piss-poor attempt at coherent conversation, staring up at the ceiling.  “Ho—ly shit,” you curse freely, heaving an exhausted sigh, “I feel so sore.” 

“S-sore?” Great, he found his voice. 

“Yeah, like I’ve been in a coma or something,” but you think nothing of it, summing it up as a crazy dream from alcohol poisoning. You sit up straight, reaching for your phone. It’s not on your desk, but instead you find something far more interesting. 

You reach for your Midnight Blue Citrus candle, frowning at the contents. The wax is nearly burnt to the end, the tips of the wicks charcoal black and frayed. Waving your used candle in Jungkook’s face you blame, “What the fuck, did you use all of this last night? I just bought this like, literally yesterday!” 

His face falls, “What? You’ve had that candle for forever—”

“And why the heck it is so hot in the middle of February?” 

Oh. 

Something dark and sad creeps up Jungkook’s stomach, and he hates to be the one to tell you. February was when it all started, and his life changed with the presence of you. Jungkook tells himself repeatedly that the woman in this room is simultaneously the person he’s loved since winter and the stranger he feels that he’s meant to love with time. Considering everything’s happening all at once understanding it is still hard, but he’ll try for you. 

It breaks his heart to see how you look lost and confused, like a child woken up from a debilitating nightmare. Your lips are bitten red and purple, trying your hardest not to show fear in front of him, a stranger. You’re frustrated as you try your hardest to shut the windows to block the incoming humidity from last night’s rain. 

He says your name, sweet and soft. “It’s almost summer,” he says, his voice calm and collected. 

“So are you telling me, that wasn’t a dream?” 

The two of you stare at each other, unmoving. He tries not to squirm under your gaze, you watch him intently, scraping at the edge of your brain for any ideas. You’re hugging yourself, arms wrapping against your breasts as if you’re trying to hold your body together in a way that alludes to any brokenness you felt over these past two months. 

Neither of you break the silence, and there’s a bang and a crash. Jungkook flinches at the tell-tale signs of the unwanted intruder, the fling of keys across your wooden table and a shrill call of your name. 

“Who’s that?” 

“Probably Hoseok,” Jungkook answers reluctantly, his thumb rubbing between his brows. 

He ignores the extra cool air against his naked bits when he throws the blankets off his lap. Ignores the way you pointedly, shamelessly check him out as he throws on his sweats and a t-shirt. To his dismay he can’t ignore the burn in his cheeks when he knows how you’re scrutinizing him like a one-night stand, trying to recollect any type of concrete thought that would seem plausible enough to explain why you woke up in bed with him. 

Throwing open your bedroom door and leaving you there, he cards a hand through his rogue bedhead to face a frantic Hoseok. 

“It’s so early,” Hoseok warbles to himself, impressed that he’s managed to cop fresh donuts and coffee at nearly 7AM. 

Jungkook sees nothing but an orange blob and Hoseok’s head, bleary and vibrating. Rubbing his eyes he says, “You just realized how early it is? Couldn’t you have stopped by a little later?” 

“No, I couldn’t!” Hoseok’s now invading Jungkook’s personal space, as if you weren’t the bridge between their threads of a relationship, as if he and Hoseok could be friends. “I woke up a few hours ago and I couldn’t go back to sleep. I felt it, Jungkook. It was like an episode of the Twilight Zone. The air shifted and I felt like I was between two parallel universes—I swear on my bad knee that I’m not going through a drug trip—and I felt the world turning and changing and it was so fuckin’ weird I had to come here as soon as Dunkin’ opened. Didn’t you feel it too?” 

“Yeah,” Jungkook exhales, not bothering to hide the disappointment. He smiles sadly, “it’s definitely not her.” 

Hoseok’s expression and excitement over the world’s converging falters, and he pulls Jungkook into a hug. They’re not particularly close and Hoseok’s smaller in size compared to Jungkook, but for those five seconds he feels comforted as he hugs him back. 

“Why don’t you go home and chill out, I don’t mind explaining things to her,” Hoseok offers, “and I’ll call you later and let you know how it went.” 

“Okay,” Jungkook replies, voice slow, “that sounds like a good idea, actually.” 

The situation is royally messed up, and he hates that he can’t blame it on anyone. Jungkook is a practical man, and he knows that he has no use when Hoseok is here with donuts and coffee. More importantly, there is no use torturing himself by letting his heart break in the presence of  you. 

“What is this, a party?” Taehyung’s bare feet smack against the hardwood, and he plops himself in the chair next to Hoseok, “did you get me coffee this time?” 

The two of them bicker good-naturedly, with Hoseok explaining a little kindness goes a long way and Taehyung muttering that kindness doesn’t happen without caffeine. Jungkook excuses himself, feeling very much out of place as he moves to your bedroom to pack his things. 

“You’re leaving?” you’re standing in the middle of your bedroom, now dressed in a long t-shirt and your hair tied clean and away from your face. You look pretty. 

“Yeah,” he says shortly, stuffing his jeans in his bag and making sure all traces of him are gone from your bedroom. “Need to sort things out,” he excuses, and while you may not buy it, he really does. He feels heartbroken, angry at the world. Maybe he could visit Yoongi today and get a demo in, put all this pent-up emotion to good use. “But Hoseok brought you breakfast, he’s a good friend, he’ll explain everything.” 

“But I don’t know Hoseok,” you mumble, picking at the hem of your band shirt. You’re pouting, stubborn. 

“But you don’t know me either,” Jungkook retorts, not unkindly, but not exactly gentle. “I wouldn’t want to overwhelm you.” 

There’s a hard rip at his zipper, putting in a little too much force as he seals away all his things into a compact backpack. Heck, he even went as far as to take back the hoodie he lent you last month, making sure the fabric is crisp and folded so he can stow it away from your curious eyes. He shoves on his denim jacket from last night, still lingering with the scents of sand and saltwater. It makes him sombre, and the selfish part of him wishes to bottle up that scent and tuck it away forever. 

“You’re wrong,” you blurt when he moves toward the door. His hand lingers over the knob, “I do know you.” 

He narrows his dark eyes, taking in your honest expression, “At Jimin’s job, maybe? I did a couple interviews in the beginning of February. Maybe we passed each other while you had lunch with him.” 

“No. You sang to me, talked to me, as much as you could up until this moment.” 

He remembers the stories you fed to him last night under the stars, shameless and full of love as you explained to him of his other self. The life where he’s a renowned singer, a Golden Boy, one of the most revered in his industry. A life he could only dream of, yet somewhere out there he’s living it in another body making that dream come true. 

Thoughts are running through his head, memories that aren’t his own. He could only imagine what you must’ve gone through, recovering in a hospital bed for two months, unable to move but actively aware of the pain and anguish. How confused you must’ve been, aching to figure out what the hell is going on, acutely aware of the voices constantly chattering about your well-being. 

One of those voices being Jeon Jungkook, who was probably taking care of you night and day. 

His head is starting to throb, and he feels like he’s five seconds away from spiraling. 

“I’d… I’d feel more comfortable around you, Jungkook,” you confess, reaching for his hand, “but if you need to, you can go,” you bite your lip, folding in on yourself once more, “if it hurts too much to be around me right now.” 

He gladly takes your hand, rubbing his thumb between your palm. The familiar sparks he feels when he holds it return, but tamps it down for the sake of your vulnerability. It’s not your fault you’re in this situation. “No… I’m just gonna go home for a bit, clear my schedule,” he gives you a little smile, and he inflates a bit when you give him one of your own. “I’ll come back for you after breakfast.”

“You promise?” 

“Promise.” 

You pull him into an unexpected hug, suddenly fearing he may never come back. 

“I always wondered what the man looked like behind the voice,” and you’re suddenly melting, feeling a sense of familiarity as you let your heart run faster than your brain when you let him hold you in his arms. He smells just like him, too. 

His embrace is tight, and his arms fit in all the little curves and spots that make you feel warm and safe. “And am I living up to your expectations?” it’s a half-joke, after all the both of you are  going simply by feeling and there’s no way in hell would he even attempt to compare himself to well, himself. 

You pull away to look at him, really look at him. Honest, clear eyes. Jungkook thinks he sees the world in your gaze. “Only if you eat a donut before you go,” you reply with a shy smile. 

At your defiant mention of food he can’t help but grin like a maniac, letting you tug him back out to sit at the counter with him and have breakfast. Like he said before, he can’t wait to fall in love all over again. 

[cesraeborgia]

Hey! This is a cool thing you're doing and thought I'd ask something!

I feel like ur gonna get asked this a lot but, realistically, what do you think is going to happen with keenler in the upcoming eps? Like obviously we'd love them to happily get together, but this is the Blacklist, and nothing is ever that simple.

Thoughts?

Hey!!! I’m happy to say your my first ask :)) !!!  If you want to chat with me about keenler, my fics, send me prompts, or just say hello!! feel free to drop me an ask here

I had a lot to say so I did a keep reading thing haha. Also, warning, spoilers for the last two eps. 

Personally, I think there’s an extremely interesting dynamic at play here that is similar to when Liz was on the run the first time. I can’t help but draw parallels between Ressler’s interactions with Liz in season 3 and his interactions with her now, and I think that Liz’s plot line this season is going to put her at odds with Ressler both professionally and personally. The fact of the matter is (and this might be a rogue opinion) that in the long run, I don’t see this causing issues for them romantically. The thing about Ressler is that he’s already crossed that line for Liz in the past - when pitted against his job and Liz, the choices he makes always boil down to one thing: whether or not the decision he makes keeps Liz safe. Because Ressler is always acting with Liz’s safety in mind, This might prove to be a problem for Liz, who is used to those who love her (Tom, Reddington) dropping everything on a dime to help her in any situation no matter the cost to her personal safety. This is partially why Ressler was at a crossroads in the last episode: he knew that the path Liz was going down was dangerous, and he was unwilling to help her if it affected her safety in a negative way, or if it contributed to her continued progression down a darkened path, which Ressler does not view to be her destiny, like Reddington does. In keeping with this characterization of Ressler (which, Lord knows if the show will actually do that; they are pretty consistent when it comes to him but still not great) I could see them continuing to work together, even if its not to the result that Liz wants. 

I think that Ressler brings out the best of Liz’s humanity (this is why I always use day/sun imagery when writing Ressler, and night/moon imagery when writing Liz) and that eventually Liz is going to be faced with deciding between embracing Reddington’s idea of her ‘destiny’ or embracing what she wanted her life to be like in the pilot. Obviously, going to war with Reddington posits one end of that spectrum, with exploring her relationship with Ressler being on the other side. 

(Real quick sidebar: I don’t like to describe female characters in relation to male characters; I’m not trying to say that Liz has to decide between the two men, I’m just saying that they symbolically represent the decision she’s going to have to make. If I were less tired I would go on a poststructural feminist rant that would make my dear sweet Judith Butler proud, but, alas, I’m exhausted)

I think that there’s three key things that SHOULD (key word being should, seeing as the writers are who the writers are) be factors in keenler’s progression this season. 

1.) Liz is alone on the run this time. This means that she’s most likely going to turn to Ressler for support, seeing as her sister is gone for the moment being, Tom is dead, her mother is dead, Reddington is pretty much dead to her, and the only person left in her life who she really trusts is Ressler. Now, there could be an interesting plot twist here. (this has been marinating in the back of my mind for the last couple of seasons.) Remember in like season 6 (I want to say??) when Liz let that one blacklister go and was starting to collect names for her own blacklist... let’s just say I wouldn’t be shocked if that plot line was unceremoniously picked up again sometime this season. That might be the only real shot she has at having allies besides Ressler or people who want to see Reddington dead. Ask me more on this later, once I watch the next episode in January haha.

2.) The issue of the taskforce and Reddington. As we can all see, Reddington has no qualms using Ressler as a pawn in his scheme to get to Liz, and I can envision Ressler acting in the role of messenger between the two warring sides during the rest of this season, which would allow for Liz and Ressler to continue to explore their developing relationship within this paradigm. I could also see =, however, Reddington using Ressler to gain an audience with Liz, and or threatening Ressler in order to get Liz to comply. 

In this category there is also the issue of the taskforce itself. As we all know, Cooper was pissed that Ressler had been running off without his knowledge to see Liz, and I can assure you that this is going to cause some problems between the rest of the taskforce and Ressler. (Aram may be a sleeper cell, because it’s Aram, but other than that I can see this getting to be extremely painful for Ressler, Cooper, and Park). I can see Cooper either sidelining Ressler, monitoring his phone, or pairing him off with Park so that she can keep an eye on him, or a combination of all three. I think that this dynamic is where we’re going to see the biggest obstacle to their relationship. 

3.) Finally, the trust issues. I can’t say I’m shocked that the blacklist has never confronted the fact that Ressler is blatantly in love with a woman who continuously lies to him (I love both of them to death, I mean this from a good place) and who has never really shown any signs of remorse about it. Now, while its a good thing that Liz opened up to Ressler later last season, it’s still problematic that she won’t share her cards with him when she knows he won’t be happy about what she’s doing. I personally would love to see Ressler confront her about this (I hope to god he does), but again, this will probably get swept under the rug. I have a lot of problems with this, which is why when I write them, I always try to address the imbalance of power between them and try to put them on a more equal playing field. I would be curious to see how the writers do this (if they decide to). 

I’m sorry that this has turned into a novella-length response, but also I’m not because I have had a lot of this stuff simmering in my brain for the last couple of years. I must also apologize for the random rants in the middle of this - that would be due to my raging ADHD and exhaustion. In conclusion, I would say that I can see keenler happening, however, it is not going to be all sunshine and rainbows, but, rather, a game which may involve using Ressler as bait. 

I hope that answers your question :))

[callioope]

Continuing my reactions to Avatar: The Last Airbender. 

This post is about Book 2. See my overall impressions and thoughts on Book 1 here.

Quick/General Thoughts

Uhhh pretty wild there is both a solar eclipse and a super comet happening in the same summer… anyways!!!

Ba Sing Se was so messed up omg

Aang

SMH more adults trying to take advantage of Aang. I was furious with the Earth Kingdom general who tried to force Aang to fight the Fire Lord well before he was ready. Clearly he was not ready! And then the audacity for him to attack Aang and then Katara to provoke the Avatar state was whole levels of messed up. 

The Great Appa Kidnapping: Yeah, so, as soon as the sand traders took him, I was like, “Oh no. I’ve heard about this. They are going to be in trouble!” But even then I didn’t know it stretched out over so many episodes. These episodes broke my heart! Aang’s complete distress at having lost Appa. Then the episode from Appa’s POV. Poor Appa! He goes through so much. It’s devastating. And then both Appa and Aang both dream of how they originally met each other? UNFAIR. CRUEL. HOW DARE THE CREATORS DO THIS TO ME. (I’m being facetious I love it I live for this kind of drama this is how i express they were doing good storytelling)

The whole “final chakra” being about letting go of attachments… hmm that felt VERY Star Wars of them… Filoni is this your doing? (Although actually I don’t remember seeing his name on any Book 2 episodes.)

Sokka

My fave continues to be the long-suffering Sokka, just trying to get his family to Omashu, it shouldn’t be this hard!!! This was literally what I wrote at the time of watching “Chapter Two: The Cave of Two Lovers,” and OH LITTLE DID I KNOW!!! [cut to Book 3… lmao… anyways]

Sokka making a map to help keep track of the maze-like cave/tunnel is actually really clever. I can’t believe people think he’s stupid. I mean, sure, it didn’t end up working, but that’s because the cave was magic or whatever, and that is beyond his control!

Side note, but lol at Sokka’s purchases and love for shopping. His ridiculous belt! How excited he was that it matched his bag!

Second side note, I was pretty excited to see that gif where Sokka is making that “I’m watching you” gesture and then goes “Water tribe!”

Katara

Yeah, notice how I don’t have much to say about Katara? It’s not that I don’t like her or that I don’t think she’s interesting, but. I just don’t really have a lot to say about her. 

I was amused by how she handled those bullies. My impression before I started watching was that she was going to be this like, pure and GoodTM character, but she definitely has her flaws and that is better.

I really liked the scene where she is able to calm Aang down while he’s in the Avatar state. There was good build up to that, showing her worry every time he entered it and her awareness of the fact that he only ever enters it when feeling upset. The fact that she was able to do that clearly Meant Something. So again, I suppose, I really feel up to this point that the show is very much like “Aang/Katara Endgame!” it felt very obvious to me. And I knew before starting the show that Zuko and Katara are a thing — but Aang and Katara is just so heavy handed that it was impossible for me to ship them with anyone else. They were just foundational to the show. Like it always felt like a foregone conclusion to me, almost as if they were established from the beginning although they obviously weren’t.

Toph

I spent like, the second half of Book 1 thinking “WHEN TOPH WHEN TOPH!” Imagine my ire that she still isn’t around for the first five episodes of Book 2, which is titled “EARTH” my goodness.

But OH was I delighted by “Chapter 6: The Blind Bandit”!!! I loved her intro, I loved how Aang is just immediately in awe of her skills when he sees her. He knows she’s exactly the teacher he’s been waiting for. “She waited and listened!” he says. Yes. I love it. (But also, lol at Sokka booing Aang.) Despite this, Aang really does not handle that first interaction very well!

So frustrating how her parents were treating her. “She’s fragile and helpless!” what a thing to say about your daughter. [Also you literally named her “tough”?!] And he is basically going to imprison her, wtf. & how do you get off saying “the avatar is no longer welcome here”?! smh children whose parents try to “control” their kids always end up being the most rebellious.

I was amused that “my dad changed his mind” apparently was a popular lie daughters use on this show. *facepalm*

I liked the contrast between how Toph wanted to teach Aang and how Katara thought he should be taught! That was interesting. And yeah, Toph certainly lives up to her name. 

Zuko & Iroh

Spent a good portion of the early part of this season wondering how Zuko and Iroh could possibly be related to the awful Fire Lord (and Azula for that matter — jeez she is nuts!), and longing to know what happened to Zuko’s mom. (Obviously that would be answered soon!)

Knowing that Zuko eventually joins the Aang crew, but also remembering that I never saw Iroh with them, made me SEVERELY worried that something terrible would happen to Iroh. And I spent the entire rest of the series worrying about that. Uh, especially since, apparently Iroh is hopeless at Survival 101. Honestly that was surprising to me. 

Zuko deciding they needed to split up was devastating!!! No!!! I loved the adventures of Zuko & Iroh!! He said, “There's no reason for us to stick together,” and I was like, “Yes there is you idiot! Because you’re family and you love each other!!!” I was so sad. I mean, also Iroh is currently the only person who likes Zuko, so, you know, that might be a good reason to stay with him. Just a thought. 

The last thing Zuko needs is to be alone, that will NOT be good for his issues. And lo and behold, look! Immediately, he’s struggling on his own. But I did like that episode (“Chapter 7: Zuko Alone”) because we get to see Zuko’s mom! (Uh, did she have a name?) Turtle ducks are so cute.

“Everything I’ve done I’ve done to protect you.” THIS. SLAYED. ME!!!!!! I mean, y’all know Rogue One is my jam so this parallel with Zuko’s mom and Galen Erso????? I lost it. I just lost it. Plus, though it isn’t confirmed until later, we can tell she’s sacrificing herself to save Zuko and just. (A) what a completely messed up family, but (B) MY HEART. SHE BETTER BE ALIVE is all I’m saying.

Interesting side note: they never show Ozai’s face in the early seasons. 

If you assumed that I was delighted to see Iroh has been tailing Zuko this whole time, you’d be correct. I had hoped that was the case and was very glad it was. Although *facepalm* again at Zuko. I suppose he had no way of knowing Katara had healing powers but it was so frustrating knowing if he had just listened to them for one minute they could have helped Iroh after Azula blasted him. At least he made him tea and nursed him back to health. 

If the evil advisor of Ba Sing Se had files on everyone and knew everything that went on… I mean… did he know about Iroh and Zuko? 

I didn’t jot down any notes about this at the time, BUT. Man. Did I ADORE Zuko and Iroh’s adventures in Ba Sing Se. I mean it was a nice relief from all the other crazy stuff happening. (Not happy to see Jet though. Ugh.) 

Finally, though, Zuko’s betrayal at the very end of the season totally shocked me. Because of spoilers, I knew he’d join Aang’s crew, and so it was so confusing! And such a regression, I really didn’t understand it and was very worried about what it would mean for his redemption arc — but more on that in the next post, don’t want to get ahead.

Azula

Oh. Boy. Again, I knew she was going to be crazy, but I don’t think I was prepared for just how messed up she is. “Do the tides command this ship. You said they would not allow us…” Jeez that is pedantic in a very bizarre way and obviously not what was meant… Yikes.

Also, Azula is much better at finding Zuko than Zuko is at finding Aang. Just a stray observation.

“Father regrets your banishment. He wants you home.” [insert IT’s A TRAP gif here]

“If the Earth Kingdom finds us, they'll have us killed. If the Fire Nation finds us, they'll turn us over to Azula. Earth kingdom it is.” Yeah, this line was hilarious but also sad. It really said a lot about Azula, and Zuko and Iroh’s relationship with her.

Had no idea Azula had her own crew. It was incredibly clear that Ty Lee felt coerced to join her and didn’t really want to, but that was less clear to me for Mai. Mainly seemed like Mai was bored with where she was and was just like “shrugs might as well do evil stuff.” 

I did know that a character named “Mai” would eventually be Zuko’s love interest (and it is pretty heavily portrayed that she has a crush on him), so at this point, I was very much like, “Hmm. This character is too apathetic and annoying, I don’t want her to end up with Zuko!” Plus, the fact that her name was pronounced “May,” (which was not how I thought “Mai” was pronounced) and I knew Zuko would have a thing with a lady in a tea shop, I wasn’t 100% sure Zuko/Mai were end game. 

“She’s crazy and she needs to go down.” I think Iroh said this. I just don’t know what to say. Why is Azula the way she is? That’s never entirely clear to me. In some ways, it’s implied she was just Like That (in the flashback where mom is like “What is wrong with you?”) and perhaps she’s just her father’s daughter. I don’t need a reason, per se. Idk. I just don’t know what to say to her. She clearly needs help. 

[pluviophile-bookworm]

AWAE 1x7 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

The time has come at last to rewatch the season 1 finale of Anne with an E. This one, as far as I can remember, was extraordinarily eventful, so we’re in for a long, bumpy ride. Let’s take off with no further rambling. 

I like the parallel between the two simultaneous conversations in the cold open - the girls on one side, and Anne and... Moody of all people on the other. Funnily enough, both conversations are about Anne, and yet they’re so substantially different. Anne tells Moody about Christmas (or the lack thereof, to be painfully precise) at the orphanage, and at the other table Josie is gossiping about the Cuthberts being poor now. Of course, Anne is not deaf, and is certainly not immune to hearing nasty things about her family, so she calls Josie out on it. 

“It’s only true, you’re poor.” Well, yes, but it’s not nice to state the truth in such a rude way. Josie is just being nasty. I know she gets at least a bit better at the very end of season 3, but this doesn’t excuse her behaviour right here and now. And fuelling Anne’s insecurity about whether the Cuthberts will keep her or not is just the cherry on top of her nasty sundae of gossiping and taunting. 

Being a choir kid myself, I really enjoy the beginning of this performance of Angels We Have Heard On High, and I chuckle to myself at the funny reality of Moody being the token boy in the choir of girls. This is more common than one might imagine.

The beautiful song can’t be enjoyed for too long, though, as Anne almost has a panic attack and runs off in the middle of the chorus, and Diana, good friend that she is, follows her out. 

I’m missing something here. What exactly happened to make the Cuthberts need a bank loan all of a sudden? I mean, the bank did show up at the end of last episode, but... what am I missing?

It’s heartwarming how Marilla is now more concerned about Anne’s future than anyone else’s. She’s a mother already. This is beautiful, even though it comes up amid a bad situation.

It is a rare occurrence that Matthew should raise his voice, and that makes it all the more effective at attracting the attention and making himself heard. But it’s kind of scary, too - you know, when the quiet person raises his voice, you know things are getting serious.

That was some ending to the cold open - believe me, with how bad the current reality is, I do not need Matthew collapsing to the ground. I mean, I know full well he will be fine, but it still makes my heart skip a couple beats.

There, Anne has raised the sensitive subject - and Marilla reassures her, just as Diana did earlier, that she’s a Cuthbert for life now. For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health... ok, I’m turning into Anne here. This is not a marriage. But it’s a family, and they are going to get through this together.

This is one thing I like about Rachel Lynde - she can be a bit rude and insensitive at times, but she knows when it’s time to stop - for the most part, of course. But leave it to Marilla to let her pride turn away any offers of help, lest it should be perceived as charity. It’s ok to accept help, you know. 

“We can’t keep Jerry on”. See, this is the difference between Anne and Jerry, at the moment at least. She is a part of the family, someone to be provided for and looked after; he is still not. As much as I hate saying it, he is a farmhand who gets paid to do a certain job and when they can no longer pay him, they need to lay him off. But that will change, of course, I know it well. And soon enough.

Anne’s willingness to give her beautiful puff-sleeved dress says quite a lot considering how long she had dreamed of such a dress and the fact that it is the only valuable object she possesses. It almost just breaks my heart to see her and Marilla let go of so much. But that’s just me, I get attached to objects easily and it hurts me to see even people in fiction give away or break or lose their possessions in any way. That’s an issue for me to resolve, not to discuss here. 

Even though I know Marilla said they were going to lay Jerry off, the fact that he’s accompanying Anne to Charlottetown makes me think of something - this trip is exactly when their sibling-like bond was formed, and it’s extra special just for that reason. I have, of course, forgotten some (read: most) details, so it might be misinformed of me to assume, but I think after this journey Jerry would stay with the Cuthberts even if they can’t pay him anymore. 

When Jerry tells Anne that it’s ok to ask for help sometimes - just what I said about Marilla’s pride earlier - it dawns on me how similar Anne and Marilla actually are, even if it isn’t shown very explicitly. They both refuse to admit they need help, and in fact stubbornly refuse it. Like mother, like daughter, even though they’ve been a family only for a short time. 

If someone looked at Anne and Jerry right now, it wouldn’t be too far off to assume they are siblings - bickering, annoying each other partly-on-purpose... If anyone ever asks me to prove Jerry and Anne are honorary siblings, this trip to Charlottetown will be my supporting argument. This and the moment in season 3 where Jerry tells Anne about Diana.  

Jerry singing cheerfully while Anne is all like “This is an Important Journey™” makes me think this boy will teach Anne not to take herself so seriously all the time. Considering their relationship in later seasons, I can say that, at least the way I see it, he actually did teach her that by showing her an almost parallel- universe perspective of what her life could have been like. I mean, they’re perfect foils, those two - both kids with difficult childhoods who have had to grow up too fast and work from a young age, but so different in every other aspect: Anne is an only child and an orphan, Jerry comes from a large family that is still united and happy despite their poverty; Anne gets to receive an education and strive towards larger goals, Jerry is denied this opportunity because he needs to help support his family; Anne ends up with the Cuthberts by mistake, a girl instead of the boy they wanted, but gets to stay and be raised as the daughter they could never have had; Jerry could have easily been the boy the Cuthberts originally asked for (and judging by Matthew’s comments in the last episode of season 3, he goes on to become exactly that), hired to help with their farm work. I could go on and on, but this is not what we’re here for. Either way, I just wanted to say how very glad I am that Moira took this one-mention character from the book and made him into his own character, a foil for Anne and an important agent in the story. Anyone who has been following me for a while will know how important Jerry is for me - and I didn’t even remember his book counterpart existed at all. But now, let’s get on with the episode.

Anne selling her “if-these-were-ordinary” items is sure to be interesting... I remember it being so, but not the particulars, It’s been a while. Let’s hear.

Ah, sure, Anne uses her talent for storytelling to sell every single thing so well. She could be an excellent saleswoman. Also, is this the brooch that got Anne chased out of Green Gables on her first day? That’s an important one. 

I have to say all Cuthberts are lucky that Anne went on this trip alone with Jerry. Had Marilla been there, Anne would never have managed to pull all of this off.

“Everyone will be moved to generosity”, alright, but do you, Rachel, think Marilla will accept it? Charity, I mean. I don’t really think so.

What are these scoundrels doing to my precious Jerry? They almost just killed him for so little as they were able to take from him. Jerks. 

Ah, and who should appear out of nowhere but Gilbert Blythe... I remember this next part being interesting. 

I see Anne has realised she was insensitive about Gilbert’s father, and I see Gilbert is preparing to travel, just as his father wanted him to. This is nice. Meaningful. A more mature conversation than these two usually have. 

Wait, are those two... the same odious creatures who beat up my poor Jerry... they’re... Nate and- Dunlop, was it? Those two who live at Green Gables in season 2, with the gold rush and all that. I remember now. It had escaped me when I was watching season 2 for the first time that their debut was actually here, in the season 1 finale. See, this is what rewatches are for. Also, those two are dirty miscreants and I hate them. Just wanted to get that one out of my system.

T-R-U-C-E - an important word for Shirbert at this stage. But what is with the sudden mention of Moody out of nowhere? This is almost like that time in the third season when they were discussing the Take Notice board and Anne was like “Ruby...”, and I was like *facepalm*. Hey, Moody and Ruby... I see now. Or is there anything to see here?

Maybe I’m overthinking it. Let’s move on now.

You know, I’ve always wondered why exactly Jerry reacted the way he did here... but now, thinking it over once again, I know why - he has just been beaten up and robbed in a ditch, how do you reckon he’s going to react when he sees Anne, whom he was specifically sent here to accompany and take care of (not that she needs to be taken care of, but she sure could use some help sometimes), talking to a guy he doesn’t know? For all he knew, something terrible might have been about to happen to her. I’m just impressed he was ready to throw down after what those... ugh, my vocabulary is failing me - did to him just minutes ago.

Poor thing, he won’t stop apologising even though he’s badly hurt. And of course he wouldn’t like the city after what happened to him. Who would.

I usually do not condone moment-wreckers, but this here was an awkward silence at best, and all Jerry did was break it - and make me smile in the process. And that makes up for everything.

Ruffians - that’s a good word, pretty much the one I was looking for a minute ago, thanks, Miss Josephine. That’s what they are, the wretched rogues... hey, my vocabulary of elegant insults is back. I hope I won’t need it much, though.

No, Matthew, I won’t have you talking like that either. What would some money be to Anne and Marilla if you are gone? No consolation, that’s for sure. See, this is one of very few reasons I’ve kind of made my peace with the show’s cancellation - that Matthew survived the whole show’s run safe and sound. And Ruby as well. But still, #renewannewithane

Yes, very well said, thank you, Marilla. Anne would never chose something material over Matthew.

Oh, this one - another moment of Anne and Jerry looking positively like siblings. And it’s golden, too. Poor dear Jerry can’t sleep in a bed of his own because, well, he’s never had one, so he crawls into Anne’s. My own little brother has only ever done something of the kind once and I will never forget that night. It was uncomfortable at first, since we, unlike Jerry, aren’t used to sharing a bed, but it was definitely lovely overall. This is beautiful.

Ah, of course, I’d forgotten this one - of course Aunt Jo fixes everything and will not take no for an answer. She pays for Jerry to keep on working at Green Gables - even though, remembering what those two... uh, hoodlums are going to keep doing to him in season 2, I might have preferred that he be away from there for a while. But then, you know, Anne couldn’t have taught him to read, and that’s important - both for him as a person and for the plot of season 3. 

No, Matthew, what do you think you are doing? It was a bad idea - for my own sake - to watch this at night. As someone who has had suicidal thoughts for my own reasons, I know how Matthew feels, and I want him to stop feeling that way. But of course, I know things will work out. Eventually.

I see Anne has learnt a lesson about accepting help, accepting love. And she talks Marilla into it. This is good. 

Of course, once again Anne’s rough childhood has given her a means to dealing with a situation. She’s selling her services now. And she’s happy to do it. And she’s realised that although they’re poor in money right now, they’re rich in something much more valuable now. 

I’m not going to lie, Angels We Have Heard On High brought a tear or two to my eyes. Things are looking up.

Although, if they knew who the boarders really are, they wouldn’t have been so happy. Not at all. But that’s another story for another time.

Oh, they’re there already... things are about to... get interesting, to say the least. I can’t wait to get into season 2 soon.

To sum up this last episode of season 1: the Cuthberts are poor; Matthew is ill; Green Gables is at stake; Anne and Jerry take off for Charlottetown to do their part in trying to save it; the Cuthberts do not accept charity; valuable lessons about accepting help and love; Jerry takes a hit from two... boarders at Green Gables, is that what we call them now?; Anne and Gilbert spell T-R-U-C-E; Anne and Jerry become siblings; Aunt Jo saves the day; Matthew thinks about taking his own life, gets over it just in time; the Cuthberts are rich, though not in money; things are looking up, but thugs are in the house.

[the-nysh]

At what point in the story you started liking Garou as a character? What was his first impression on you and how did it changed later as the story progressed?

Oooh! What a GREAT question, I’m so glad you asked! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (Cause yes, my perceptions of him certainly did change over time! And that’s one of the fun things I love to see happen with other opm fans too.) So let’s see…*pulls up a chair and shovel to dig thru nearly 5yrs of archives* where to begin~

It was definitely a gradual process (so buckle in, this is gonna be a looong chronological trip thru memory lane. About 3500~ words!)

First impressions

Early on (and cause I’m skeptical to most new characters who I don’t ‘know’ yet), I remember feeling kinda like ‘huh? Who the heck is this guy? This wannabe Hiruma-lookalike (recognizing some of Murata’s recycled Eyeshield 21 char design elements for him) with some silly double Vegeta hair? The hell does he think he’s doing??’ Beyond being kinda incredulous about him, I honestly didn’t really give him much passing thought or attention either, and definitely not anything on a deeper level yet. He was just kinda there (I suppose?), but also out there forcefully (cockily and somewhat annoyingly?) inserting himself as the ‘villain’ into the story at times (which wasn’t really my thing), seemingly WAY in over his head with reckless antics and overambitious about what he was claiming to be and challenging himself to do (which I thought seemed both ridiculous and ironic to set up like that when characters like Saitama exist to directly check/refute his aims).

So at the time I wasn’t fully ‘on board’ or invested much in his story/concept yet cause I hadn’t really seen him…define himself (beyond those first impressions) into his own fleshed-out character. Because he still kept reminding me too much of other characters (I even heard him with Hiruma’s voice) rather than breaking out on his own. Murata’s early art also had yet to really evolve and settle him into his own distinguishable ‘face’ for that matter too (he would though later, when he’d draw ‘Garou’ recognizable as himself and not like…‘Hiruma’s shadow’ anymore). So with all that coming in, it’s hard to ‘see’ or genuinely ‘like’ a char at first when they haven’t done much yet to distinguish themselves from others and grow into their own. (Oho, how time will tell~)

This impression of Garou hadn’t really changed much and continued all thru the Metal Bat fight, by the way. (I actually caught up to the manga around the time Murata introduced MB with the centipedes and was about to start his fight with Garou. Events which weren’t on my highest priority to see either, cause I still mostly preferred seeing Saitama + Genos interact instead.) But on a surface level, I at least knew Garou was fun/impressive to watch and his excitable/feral energy was infectious and entertaining (Murata really knew how to hype him up too), but other than that, I’d yet to really ‘like’ him on his own (enough to talk/blog about) still.

I first eased into reblogging stuff with him back in Oct 2016, which included the first reblog of his back muscles (lol) appreciating how Murata drew him facing Watchdog Man so ksjggh that part of the story (when Murata was teasing their fight) was also when Garou starting having a presence on my blog. :O

First turning point

However, I distinctly remember the first ‘aha I see now’ point in understanding him better was when I did a second reread of the webcomic. (I don’t exactly remember when that was, but probably sometime during the tournament arc when the pace was kinda dragging, so I prob reread the wc around then for fun.) It was around early-April 2017 when I later admitted that (in the tags):

I’ve come to really like Garou, a second read of the webcomic made me fond of him, of his background and ideas he wished to set out and change, his heart was in it and he had his set of morals, but he was young and brashly took the wrong path, I really want to see him return someday now that he's learned better

Cause following the big webcomic reveal at the end of his arc (when Saitama calls him out), going back thru his entire story again you could totally spot all the consistent hints and signs (from both his backstory and actions) ONE sprinkled the entire time, making everything revealed about him true, and not suddenly sprung up outta nowhere. It was finally like ‘aaah, I understand what’s up with him and can sympathize where he’s coming from. Yes that makes sense. :O’ However, this clarity/acknowledgment had yet to shift from simply ‘seeing’ or understanding a thing as knowledge, to actually feeling it (connecting on a deeper/personal level) later. That’ll remain a big distinction.

May 2017, I first started writing some early meta break downs about him, starting with his end-arc parallels in Suiryu’s despair moment and from this, there was acknowledgement how all ONE’s manga additions (up til then this was still all tournament arc stuff) were only building further context towards what’s to come much later on in the webcomic.

June 2017, I started posting stream coverage about him (vs Watchdog Man stuff when he intercepts King and Saitama.) Around this time I also admit this kinda stuff in tags ‘goodness how I love that this nerd has a soft spot for that kid (truthfully he's not monstrous at all)’ for appreciating the manga’s wholesome extra Tareo moments.

Second big turning point

Around Sept-Oct 2017 was when post content/stream coverage kinda started exploding during the whole vs A/B heroes + shed fight. This whole sequence, following the tournament arc, was the first big long-awaited return back to the wc’s script (with style!), but with significant expansions (esp to his character) never seen before. In particular, the bullet shielding moment was changed/revised from him simply standing there in the wc, to Garou protecting Tareo in the shed.

Truly awesome and moving because dang, he selflessly put his life on the line for that ‘Garou the determinator fending off the impossible while protecting a kid ;o;’ Firmly standing up to (injustices) and revealing his solid moral core, like wow, what a guy. <3

Murata’s stream output picked up significantly back then too (compared to his slower pace drawing the previous arcs), so I also admitted: ‘gosh been cheering for Murata's hard work just like Garou's in-chapter determination!’

But also cause this whole fight was like the first actual, legit demonstration (shown, not told) of Garou’s prodigious fighting skills, intelligence, tenacity, resourcefulness, perseverance, etc. Like this is what he’s actually capable of when pushed to the brink; testing the actual quality of his character (showing his true colors) and allowing those merits to shine while under unfavorable, difficult, and desperate conditions. And all impressively done in a way to make the audience both believe it and root for him (presented from his side much like a protagonist? Wild! 8D) It was extremely thrilling and badass (truly that whole shed part was brilliant, narratively and spectacle-wise. As I’ve repeatedly gone back to write about many times and again. :’D) My impressions of Garou around this time:

yoooo boi see I really like Garou, the wild prodigy determinator with a misguided goal, going all out and demonstrating his talent and prowess (even tho he gets in over his head), PROTECTING CHILDREN WHEN HE PRETENDS HE DOESN'T CARE, omfg what a softie (as Saitama would say) :'D, yaaa see he was never a 'real' monster at all, Saitama can see straight through him, and what he REALLY wants to achieve

Dec 2017, first started getting some sporadic Garou anons after the whole epic manga spectacle vs Genos + Bang + EC fight with everyone.

Jan 2018, back when Garou was captured in the MA base and then left to his own devices above ground…things started getting really interesting. Including noticing ONE’s more careful (or perhaps more transparent?) approach to writing Garou’s manga portrayal this time around. Different and more nuanced from the wc for instance, so there were many fascinating contradictions and complexities to uncover (break down meta-wise) about his convictions, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and how he applied those thru his actions and behavior (revealing decisive acts of character). This was when @gofancyninjaworld also started joining in to discuss and explore Garou’s ongoing dilemma with his goals and mindset. “His heart is in the right place, but his means are not, because at his core, he’s not a monster.” I admitted ‘Garou’s one of the most well-written characters in the story, I feel.’ And I was really looking forward to all the significant changes ONE was doing to make his manga story all the more defined and cohesive than it already was in the wc. That made things extra engaging (when there’s a desire to look deeper into things for fun and excitement for more).

Third turning point

Feb 2018 Oooh man. It was around here, (when Garou saves Tareo from the bullies and confronts RR and Bug God) that I was really starting to feel that shift happening (the impression of him turning into something more), so I had to comment on his ongoing characterization presented thus far (budding into a well-rounded, 3 dimensional character) and how ONE was (re)writing him in a more personal, sympathetic light that made him so easy to root for and genuinely likeable. I was fully AWARE of this happening and what both Murata and ONE were doing to increase his appeal. Admitting the more they revealed of him the more I was falling deeper for him, and fully welcoming it by narrative design. (Like alright let’s goooo! 8’D) Cause it was obvious how much differently and expansive he was getting portrayed vs the wc (with much less moral ambiguity). I said:

“Garou’s not simply a rogue, prodigious teen going on a spiteful rampage with an overconfident, slasher smile. Consistently, he’s been shown what really makes him tic: what gets him serious, passionate, sincere, and desperate – things that force his hand to either fight or defend against, with standards and ideals that he’d put his life on the line for. All of it is great: a variety of expressive emotions and definitive acts of character that all build towards the whole. Which we’re then left to ponder exactly what that is. Is he truly a villain or a hero? Is he really a troublemaking bad guy or actually a misguided ‘nice guy’? The answer isn’t so black and white; it’s more like a mix of ALL of the above. And I LIKE that. As ONE has presented him, Garou is Garou, and not really someone to align or classify as simply one or the other. He’s in that kind of delicious gray zone where he’s getting put to the brink to show his true colors. And it’s so GOOD and refreshing to see.”

That plus the manga showing his deeper bond with Tareo, his gruffly protective qualities (ok but that’s kinda hot?) and a more sincere showing of his morals (which he refused to budge on no matter what anyone else ordered him to do), brought on all the feels. :’)

Stream coverage + ch commentary devolved to like unintelligible screaming, with some ‘man he’s so fucking cool,’ or ‘damn protective Garou’s SOO good,’ or ‘I swear the more Murata draws of him the more I fall for him like wtf,’ or even the flat out ‘GODDAMMIT MURATA ;A;’ types of suffering reactions, ahaha.

At this point I was all ‘bring on the Garou appreciation; he deserves it; I have a mighty NEED’ but was kinda annoyed/frustrated with the fandom cause there was hardly any recent fan content of him (relevant to his current plot progression, it was all suspiciously dry or old ship-related content I wasn’t interested in cause the plot had moved on, so I was like omg where is everybody, hello?!) It was already a dry spell in between seasons so overall fan content was slow anyway, but it seemed like there were so few actual fans of him (to my confusion?!) So I started making my own content (beyond just the stream coverage and ch reactions/commentary + meta) with the expression posts appreciation.

March 2018. U-uhoh, things (and posting frequency especially) were starting to escalate. His reaction to literally getting backstabbed by the monsters and losing Tareo (his quiet but seething controlled feral rage) definitely had me feeling™ things.

Final nail in the coffin

April 2018 Oshit;; Garou forcefully storming and bulldozing his way thru the MA base, his awesome BIG DAMN HEROES moment rescuing Tareo from Royal Ripper, to his hilarious absolute tsundere™ moment denying it (before running into Rover and immediately protecting the kid again) pretty much destroyed me. This was also like the first time I’d seen ONE make a character go full tsundere mode and pull it off in a genuine comedic way (with the classic ‘it’s not like I came here to save you or anything baka’ line and all) so pfft, that was so much endearing icing on the cake. :’D

At this point someone even asked me who’s my favorite opm character, to which I was all, ‘Garou’s current manga content has been on fire so he’s been quickly skyrocketing into my favs (if he wasn’t there already)!’

But then Murata soon dropped THIS ‘protect the child’ page all with perfect timing, and I was…fucking doomed.

'sugoi ojisan' was pretty much the moment of instant death for me ;A; my constant reaction to the streams has been that gaijin 4koma meme with laser heart eyes for emphasis, and I'm pretty much losing my ability to articulate much beyond screaming at this rate

Garou’s behavior could then be summarized as ‘a very stubborn and in denial asshole tsundere little shit nerd. <3’ But there was classic ONE heartwarming irony in there too, cause Garou hadn’t fully ‘lost’ his battles either…during those critical times where he actually assumed the role of the ‘hero’ for Tareo instead. (Oho~)  

basically Garou is a great character, the more you look into how ONE has built him the more meta af it gets

May 2018 (the long-awaited debut of the wc ‘scarf’ vs Rover towards Garou vs Orochi’s epic wtfshitstorm) lolwhoops~ I finally made the inevitable back muscles compilation while also writing longer, more in depth meta posts about him.

Murata delivered some of the best stream content we’ve seen of him. (Completely on FIRE, both literally and figuratively. And looking back, this was probably some of the most fun Murata’s stream sessions ever got. :’D Was awesome to be a fan tuning in during this time.)

even Murata was doodling chibis of himself freaking out in the margins XD

Delivering content from the pose of peak badassery…to dropping stream doodles of peak heartwarming/cuteness (Garou & Tareo in suits) on the fans for good measure.

bam Murata’s out to kill us with his art ...Murata can you like -maybe- chill? ABSOLUTELY NOT

Basically Murata knew exactly what he was doing, always delivering and servicing the fans (drawing the coke bottle was a fan suggestion too) yet also remaining a huge tease~

Towards S2 and beyond

June 2018, following the Orochi fight, Garou was put on a bus and absent from the manga for a while, so I went back revisiting older content again (rereading the manga for fun) and realizing/noticing/wondering stuff I hadn’t really caught about him before like…oh no why is he cute?? Was he always this way or had my eyes finally opened after everything??? (Cause aside from him being a little shit or a cool badass, he was also a complete dork and a nerd, and an oblivious dummy, and just…that was so…wtf endearing, a full package of fun to enjoy.)

But we soon got clips of Midorikawa’s voice reveal (from the opm drama cd) and all hell broke loose among the resident Garou fans. 8’D Especially cause his voice was ‘dark/smooth/mature/sexy’ as opposed to a higher-pitched, unhinged teen voice many had expected (remember that old Hiruma voice I first thought for him? So interestingly many fanboys were disappointed with this deeper voice casting). But also cause Midorikawa said “I’ll do my best to make Garou even more charming than before,” so we were excited to see Garou’s popularity spike even more cause of s2.

Aug 2018, the s2 key visual revealed with Garou prominently featured up and center and I WAS NOT PREPARED!!! I remember having like a full hyper-incoherent breakdown because of this so…yeaaaaah. 8’D I was all rationalizing,

If anything it’s all Murata and ONE’s fault that (the hype and appreciation for him) feeling’s grown even stronger. He was already a thoroughly fun walking meta source, but the manga made his softer/compassionate moments much more obvious (than in the wc). Just watch as this badass dorky nerd becomes even more hugely popular than he already is!

April 2019 was his anime debut…coincided with his post-arc WEBCOMIC DEBUT AFTER 5 FUCKING YEARS (before he even returned in the manga even) IMPECCABLE timing from ONE, holy shit people lost their minds. Including Murata, who had to draw him too! With all that and the anime airing (adding even more wholesome cute Tareo interactions not seen in the manga), fandom participation (+anons) really started to kick off.

I remember seeing the influx of new fans and how so many (who didn’t ‘know’ him yet either) would unironically label him as genuinely ‘evil’ or a ‘heinous villain’ at face value, which….uhhhhhh were the kinda takes that were hard to take seriously, but I appreciated how ONE’s writing allowed the readers to see and think for themselves as the narrative revealed more (rather than believing everything the characters said or claimed), so it’d only be a matter of time until they ‘saw’ the truth about him too. :’)

May-July 2019 the anime continued airing with fandom activity popping, until August when he finally reappeared and ‘awoke’ in the manga! ;A; After like an entire full year of him mia too. This was also the time frame when all the thirsty (and interestingly meta-hungry) Garou anons started (finding me???) regularly chiming in with fun participation. I was grateful though, cause they prompted certain takes I couldn’t have come up with on my own, and allowed me to think, examine, and explain things much more closely and thoroughly than I had ever posted before. (Yaaay~) Such as looking into just what IS it about him?!

“Garou wouldn’t be as compelling, engaging, and appealing as a character without (all) those other interesting layers and nuances to talk about too! :D It’s even better that way! Cause Murata can draw everyone looking drop-dead gorgeous and conventionally attractive, so just having a pretty face and impressive muscles isn’t enough to make him stand out in a special way from the rest of the cast. Already all those things (about him) are certainly impressive, so just what is it about him in particular? (That makes him unique.) The fact Garou has all that AND those other compassionate & interesting qualities to him just makes it the icing on the cake for a complete, well-rounded package. The fact we can know him, for all his feelings and attitude why he behaves and acts the way he does, such as when he’s contradictory, troubled and tsundere-like sometimes, to hardcore and badass other times, to softer and empathetic to fiercely righteous, protective and determined other times, and all portrayed in the way he’s capable of the range (and makes us feel) the entire spectrum of emotion too. …Like whoa (I could keep going but I’d be preaching to the choir at that point aha), all that only enhances what’s already there. In this way, I feel the Garou we’ve come to know by now is much more endearing and appealing than the one we were introduced to at the start. Because as he appeared then, he may have seemed like just another wannabe thug-of-the-week we might not have given much passing thought & attention to. But now…uhoh, you could arguably say he’s grown to the point he’s almost taken over the rest of the manga (within good reason!) by challenging our perception of who’s even the active protagonist. :O Who keeps us engaged and tuned in to see more. Buaha, just what the hell happened?! Now that’s quite the impressive feat from both ONE and Murata to create a character with a lasting impact like that!”

…So that’s what happened. :’D In my opinion, I feel Garou’s best moments where we (or really, I) got to know him better (shed scene, Elder Centipede aftermath, dine n dash, rescuing Tareo, all up towards his fights vs Rover & Orochi) mostly only happen until after s2 so… Since those were some of my absolute fav manga moments (which only enhanced my perceptions of him), those’ll be the moments I’m really looking forward to see animated in s3. But most of all, I’m hoping to witness some of that same ‘aha!’ gradual realization process happen to newer fans who come to appreciate him too. :’3

[stfreds-a]

hello everyone! this is rylan (27, she/her, gmt+2) here to introduce you to the lil nugget of fucked up-itude that is freddie dawson! + more info, wanted connections. / @redridgeimp​

name: fredericke ann dawson nicknames: freddie, fred, st. fred age: 33 ethnicity: white gender/pronouns: cis female, she/her sexual/romantic orientation: bisexual/biromantic been in red ridge for: five years occupation: bartender at st. peter’s affiliation: none positive traits: nurturing, clever, good spirited, humorous, wise, motherly, diligent, quiet, loyal, protective. negative traits: closed off, impulsive, proud, resentful, self-deprecating, bitter, frightened.

BIOGRAPHY —

(WARNINGS for depression, death, abuse / domestic abuse, violence, underage sex, prostitution, child abandonment).

“why’d you get so obsessed with that word, freddie? who told you about saints?” “grandpa did, he said he’s named after st. peter”. “and why do you care?” “‘cause he said saints do good things. i wanna be a saint, too”. “why on earth would you want that?” “‘cause, ma — i wanna save everyone”.

—

there’s a lifetime from that moment to now. she can remember it, but it comes in flashes, a hazy hue of desert gold — she remembers the girl she was, bright-eyed and restless, never shying away from the trail of a question. prying, relentless: the whole world could be simplified to reasons and whys, and she would hunt them the whole day long, out in the dust storms like the wind, not even it could dare question her spirits. whatever happened to that girl? dull, watered down: erased, and her own has been the hand rubbing her existence off her own life.

el paso, texas, 2002. she couldn’t tell how it happened, or when it began — surely that summer of eighteen years ago must have played its part. her mother losing her job (too tired, too tired all the time: too sad to see a doctor, too weak to even get out of bed anymore), bills piling up. her older sister trying hard to keep things afloat with an underpaid gig at the laundry, but it’s not enough. it’s never enough. one day grandpa comes home and he’s making math in his head, calculating how much longer they can survive if he sells the farm, the truck, the horse. that night freddie asks, how come their dad’s not around? he could provide, he could help them? grandpa grows colder then, gaze darker than the clouds gathering on the horizon: i’ll burn this place to the ground before he sets foot in here.

that side of the family, either way, is cunning and insidious, and it comes knocking at the door, offering business, a way to salvage the farm. it is victor, freddie’s uncle, who brings the offering: grandpa throws him out in spite, and freddie watches it all while she’s sitting on the fence outside, skin burning gold from the sun, dust sticking to her like glitter. you’re pretty, victor says: you might be your family’s only chance, you know? she doesn’t (can’t) understand, but she’ll walk any way that can save grandpa, his horse, her mother’s strength, her sister’s dreams of becoming a nurse.

turns out the way is a dark and winding one, one where she has to suck up the terror when a man touches her skin and she has to say yes, please, more, i’ll be anything you want, the key to unlocking all the dark and sick desires you’ve buried in there and can’t speak to anyone, not your wife, not your daughter, not your mother: give them to me, she whispers, let the darkness out. at night she takes hour-long showers to try and rub the darkness off of her, and it won’t come off, it never does — but grandpa didn’t have to sell the farm, and even if he was against her getting a job (said she’d be a waitress, don’t worry pops, i got it), the day he realized he wouldn’t have to sell the horse he smiled: it felt like the gates of heaven themselves would open.

she hates her job, but doesn’t mind the company. they make her work in a dismissed motel, along with girls about her age and her damage, and there is an unspoken bond of loyalty between them — the guys, too, when they’re guarding the doors they smile at them as fondly as they would their sisters (but they wouldn’t let their sisters in a place like this, no). there’s carl, who never speaks but smiles at fred each time he sees her. there’s billy, drives her home every night before victor can volunteer. there’s sonja, who teaches her how to punch a man’s throat when he gets too handsy. there’s a sense of family, while her own begins unraveling around the suspicion that something dark is going on.

el paso, texas, 2005. the farm is saved, but mom’s not getting any better. depression sucks her up, little by little, and she drifts away more or less peacefully, doesn’t dare oppose resistance — she dies a morning of october, and neither of her daughters can speak of it. grandpa has to put down the horse a week later. she’d thought she’d saved everyone —— how come the darkness still won’t leave?

she grows sadder, dark as the clouds that won’t seem to leave their town alone. she finds an unexpected shoulder to cry on in the person of johnny, billy’s cousin and yet another one of victor’s men: johnny’s sweet, he makes her laugh. he begins driving her home at night instead of billy (his cousin’s not happy, she can see this: but he nods his agreement anyway and doesn’t protest, he can’t, johnny’s older and wiser and he’s still just a kid). the rest of it is as old and predictable as it gets: he says he’ll make an honest woman out of her, she retorts there needs to be an honest man for that to happen to begin with. they laugh, they kiss, they promise — five years later, she’s twenty-five and married, almost happy. almost.

el paso, texas, 2006. she wants to leave her job. johnny said he can’t stand the thought of someone touching her where he should, and she tries: but victor won’t have it, no, did you think it was a temporary gig? come on girl, you’re smarter than that. he’s filthy, he humiliates her — beats her just to prove he can, he owns her. she comes home with bruises and johnny’s angry: if you couldn’t quit, he says, it’s because you didn’t really want t. his bruises are added to victor’s, perfectly symmetrical blooms to decorate her skin. she begins cracking, her very essence tearing at the seams — she was trying so hard to save everyone, how the fuck is she gonna save herself now?

billy comes over sometimes. his commitments to what he likes to call “street things” keep him out of the motel now, but he needs to check on her — she makes up excuses to keep away, hide the signs. says she’s got a bad cold one day, the other she’s just not feeling. one day he’s got enough and forces her to open the door: a busted lip, both her eyes grown purple with the blows. his anger is scalding hot but she manages to calm him down — it’s okay, she says, he just gets angry sometimes. i’ll find a way out of it somehow. he leaves in a hurry, never shows up again: the unspoken fear in her mind, that he’s gone and done something terrible he’ll regret, almost brings a relief to her sore mind. perhaps he’s killed him, she thinks. perhaps i’m free.

johnny comes back and it’s business as usual. she tells herself she’s gotta be strong, gotta leave this town, gotta make it out alive. she packs a bag and leaves it hidden under the bed, but when she looks at the door she sees the world with johnny’s face, ready to eat her up, chew her out, over and over. it’s the day police comes knocking at her door that the world drags her out — in the person of detective jake graham, investigating the disappearance of william ‘billy’ dickinson — part of a much bigger investigation, that sooner leads to the arrest of victor rosce and most of his men (johnny included). she’s on her own: and when the detective figures out she needs help, he makes the way for a new life in red ridge, nevada. beaten, broken, ashamed, she says goodbye to texas; to freddie dickinson; to the comfortable shelter of her fear.

red ridge, nevada, 2015. red ridge ain’t much of an afterlife, but it works. they take her to a women’s shelter and bit by bit she puts her pieces back together. badly held in place, like a broken teacup taped back together — but it works. azul, the director of the shelter, turns out to be the family she’s missing — she finds a sense of home in the shelter, a new purpose behind the counter of st. peter’s, serving drinks for those who are heading for a fight at rogues’. like a gatekeeper, like st. peter himself: such a stark contrast from the hell she just left.

heaven is short-lived, and hell comes knocking back at the door. it appears in the shape of two parallel lines on a pregnancy test: johnny’s seed, rooted in her womb, giving way to evil like himself. she wants to throw up, hopes somehow that’ll rid her of this curse — her vision blinded, her ears are ringing. in fear, she turns to the only place she knows can provide comfort, or advice, or any sort of guidance while she has no fucking clue how to fix this: back home, to her sister.

el paso, texas, 2016. grandpa’s dying, angie says. old age catching up to him, so all he does is lie in his bed all day and ask for movies to be played continuously on his tv. it’s an odd family they recreate now, the nurse, the dying man and the pregnant sister. there is a soft, mournful balance found, until one night victor shows up demanding to see her and when angie claims freddie isn’t there he has his men beat her grandpa, thrash the house just to get the point across: he can. he owns her.

she sits by her grandpa’s deathbed that night and weeps. i’m sorry, pops, i’m so sorry: i tried so hard to be a saint, to save everyone. perhaps he’s just exhaling, but it sounds like he’s laughing. child, he says, saints always die either virgins or martyrs. you fucked up the first — now you just gotta pray you’re good enough for the latter.

somewhere between texas and nevada, 2016. grandpa dies two weeks later, and freddie’s not there. right after victor’s visit, angie gave her money just to get her away from them, and bring her trouble with her — grandpa dies a week before her baby’s born, taken out of her and delivered into a nurse’s hands without so much as a goodbye. they ask, would you like to see your baby? freddie turns and pretends she didn’t hear. wherever the baby will end up, it’s gotta be a better fate than the child of a martyr.

red ridge, nevada, 2017. red ridge felt like a home. for a hot second, it felt like things could start over again. she ends up in it again — in the thick of a burning town, trying to make her way through people that do not belong to her, desperately looking for something to hold on to. a year has passed since she last set foot in town, but st. peter’s has been waiting for her; the same arrangement of unfinished business, too. little by little, in red ridge, she begins putting herself back together.

CURRENTLY fred is a bartender at st. peter’s, occasionally lends a hand to azul evangelista for the women’s shelter, is in a committed relationship with detective jake graham. her uncle, her husband and most of their gang are in jail after the investigation jake led back in 2015. she hasn’t heard from her sister ever since leaving el paso. her baby was given up for adoption and she never learned anything more about them — nor does she plan to.

[atamascolily]

lilyliveblogs “terminator 2″ for the first time, part 2

When we last left off, I was a pile of shipper goo, so time to get back to the movie.

(Part one here)

Someone -- the female doctor we saw before who looks kinda like Sarah? -- watching the video, smoking. I think I can see how Sarah is going to escape now. Oh, wait, it's Sarah, with Dr. Silbermann, watching herself on screen. The two asshole guards are in the background. Her hair's combed. She's subdued. Silbermann is still a jerk.

She wants to see her son. Silbermann's not going to let her, is he? Asshole. She denies crushing a Terminator, their existence, claiming Cyberdyne covered up the evidence. Cut to '90s computer nerds in their cubes, doing experiments that are probably going to trigger Judgment Day. Like you do.

They're doing experiments on "it," and new employee wants to know where "it" came from, so Dyson the manager can tell the audience. "Don't ask," is the answer. Everyone's wearing clean suits, which can't be good. There's a door with two keys that needs two people to open it. Yeah, this really can't be good.

Showdown at the Cyberdyne factory with whatever Terminator goes rogue in here??

Cyberdyne has built a safe for that one little fragment they got from the original Terminator... maybe there are more in different jars; it's a really big vault. Yup, there's the arm. The manager stares at it, and you can see the muscles in his cheek twitch as he contemplates it. He's probably going to die by strangulation at the hands of the Terminator if this movie keeps up with its dramatic ironies.

Of course Silbermann won't let Sarah see her son, so she tries to strangle him with his own tie.

Arnold on a motorcycle spies John Connor on a motorcycle, and the game is on!!

I'm like... 90% certain that's the Los Angeles River that John Connor is cycling down... because it's channeled and running through LA and barely has any water in it and everybody LOVES to film there... going to wiki that later...

Fake police officer asking girls for info about John. They're also delightfully '90s. John is an the arcade, delighting in his ill-gotten funds.

Terminator has disguised his gun as a... box of roses? Did I see that right?

John is playing a fighter simulation that is SO MUCH A CALLBACK TO THE OPENING SCENE WITH ALL THE SHIPS TRYING TO KILL THE HUMANS.

The police dude ASKS THE PUNK FRIEND shows him John's photograph, and the friend says "Nah, I don't know him," BECAUSE HE KNOWS BETTER THAN TO TRUST THE COP. Of course this gets John's attention and they run. And then the friend tries to point the cop in the other direction, but the cop just shoves him aside.

(I'll say this much for the punk friend: he tried. He was a good friend.)

LOL, the fact that John Connor knows better than to trust cops is what saves him. Otherwise, he'd've been a sitting duck. Except he runs right into Arnold...

Arnold flips over the rose box, revealing the gun, and it looks like all hope is lost as the cop comes around the corner... and Arnold tells John to get down and shoots at the cops. His first line in the movie.

When this movie first came out, I bet the audience FLIPPED THEIR SHIT at this twist, but I was a) kinda tangentially aware of it from pop cultural osmosis and also b) that fake cop guy was HELLA SUSPICIOUS, so I'm just like... yeah!!! Because the only way to top being hunted by Arnold was to either a) BE HUNTED BY MULTIPLE ARNOLDS, or b) HAVE ARNOLD ON YOUR SIDE, and of course they went with the latter, because WHY NOT?

the cop's hit but gets back up, John is freaked out, and we the audience realize SOMETHING'S UP. A poor bystander gets murdered as the Terminator uses himself as a human shield to save John, who is screaming...

Arnold busts him into the voltage room out of the way and we have a Terminator on Terminator shoot-out, which is kinda incredible, except that Arnold has a bigger gun, so he gets to keep shooting while the police dude tries to recover from the impact.

That moment where the bullet holes are all silver-y as the police guy re-heals himself, and the CGI is obviously early '90s, but still quite effective and horrifying. And then he gets back up and they start grappling and going through walls AND NOW THEY'RE IN THE '90S MALL, OH MY GOD.

John Connor, not surprisingly, gets the fuck OUT. I wonder if Sarah told him what the Terminator looks like, and if he's surprised to see it defend him?

THE LIQUID METAL TERMINATOR LOOKING AT THE SILVERY-SKINNED MANNEQUINS IN THE MALL DISPLAY OH MY GOD.

LOL random dude snapping photos with his SLR he just happens to be carrying around.

John's motorcycle won't start for reasons of DRAMA, lol.

God, this new Terminator can run freakishly fast, it's inhuman.

Of course no one is going to question a cop chasing anyone, sigh...

(I feel like this movie works eerily well for social commentary in 2019 on SO MANY LEVELS.)

The running terminator runs up to a moving truck and tosses out the driver and keeps driving... wow.

ok, this is all great, but I really want more Sarah, where is Sarah in all this, will she ever talk to another woman in this movie PROBABLY NOT. How about more Kyle Reese flashbacks/dream sequences, can we have those? I am but a simple soul.

Okay NOW there's a chase scene in the Los Angeles riverbed.... that little tiny rivulet in the midst of all that concrete is the river. SOB.

Well, I gotta hand it to the human resistance for sending a Terminator after another Terminator, but it also works because JOHN CONNOR LIVED THROUGH THE EXPERIENCE AND REMEMBERS WHAT THE HELL HIS FUTURE SELF DID... timey-wimey paradox ball...

OH MY GOD THAT LEAP AS ARNOLD'S MOTORCYCLE LEAPS INTO THE RIVERBED. No wonder this movie is so frikkin' famous.

John Connor's bike getting run over by the truck is SO a callback to that tiny little toy truck getting run over by the Terminator in T1...

I like how the police Terminator is so focused on John Connor to the exclusion of ignoring the other Terminator unless he's actively in the way. The intensity in his blue-eyed stare is FANATICAL and inhuman and I love it because it's so gosh darn creepy.

Arnold shoots out the truck's tires, and it catches on FIRE. i love how arnold is prepared to shoot anything that comes out of the flames, but they've bought themselves at least a little time. Of course the CGI silver man comes out of the flames as soon as they leave and melts back to normal. He looks like the frikkin' Oscars statue, only silver.

Even his clothes regenerate back on, which raises interesting and troubling questions as to WHY since he couldn't just re-generate his clothes back on when he came out of the sphere, he had to steal them. I have no clue why this is.

Of course, Arnold and John stop in an alleyway to have their conversation. JOHN KNOWS THIS IS A TERMINATOR, OH MY GOD. (Do you think he feels bad for bad-mouthing Sarah earlier now??)

I think Arnold's talked more in this scene than he did in the entirety of T1, lol. The irony of him being John's father-figure now is just priceless, really.

John handles this much better than Sarah in T1, precisely because this is pretty much EXACTLY WHAT HIS MOM'S BEING TELLING HIM FOR AGES, so at least he has a FRAMEWORK for weird shit like this.

John Connor fighting alongside his own father and re-programming a Terminator to BE HIS OWN ADOPTED FATHER FIGURE OH MY GOD. No wonder he's so fucked up.

Arnold: "The T-1000 would definitely try to re-acquire you there." John: "You sure?" Arnold: "I would."

BAM. That's cold. I love it.

They go to a phone booth, and John doesn't have any quarters because he used them all at the arcade. He's going to try to warn his foster parents because he's not a complete asshole, but I... don't think the T-1000 is interested in killing them? Like, they already cooperated with this dude because he was in uniform. John doesn't seem to GET that not everybody responds to police the way he does.

Arnold slamming the machine to get more quarters is AMAZING and the look on John's face is PRICELESS. Also, parallels to his robbing the ATM earlier...

John's foster parents have a German shepherd that won't stop barking, oh this isn't good... the foster dad doesn't like the dog, which is further proof he's an asshole.Oh, wait, it’s John’s dog, this is probably the same dog we saw with Sarah at the end of T1 or its successor, ahhhhhhhh.

I really feel for Janelle. I feel like she's stuck in a relationship with this asshole Todd, and she deserves better and she's probably going to die, and I'm gonna feel bad about it.

Then we hear a gun cock, and she sticks her arm out, and we realize that holy shit, it's the Terminator mimicking Janelle's face as well as her voice, just like the Terminator did with Sarah's mother in T1, and we realize THAT's why she's being so OOC to John over the phone...

Arnold takes over the call and starts mimicking John's voice. John just stares. I think he's starting to get it.

The T1000 doesn't know the name of the dog. Arnold hangs up and tells John his foster parents are dead. Well, fuck. At least Janelle is dead. Too much to hope that the T1000 didn't just tie her up in the spare bedroom and Todd will find her later after "Janelle" goes to look for John? Sigh.

Nope. No luck. Todd is dead and the T1000 has shifted its arm to be a FRIGGIN' SWORD. Fuck, I didn't know they could do that.

This is supposed to be played as black comedy, but it's just horrific, really, even if the dude was an asshole.

Okay, I get it, the T1000 didn't steal the original cop outfit, he just mimicked it? along with the appearance? That's why he only took the gun. Only the earlier models needed to actually steal clothes.

Oh, good, we cut to Arnold explaining all this to John. Thanks, Cameron!

Oh, and now the T1000's going to kill the dog, right? Because it can. Sigh. And the dog's name is on the collar, so it knows that John knows that it wasn't really Janelle on the phone OR it was talking to a Terminator instead. Clever. Poor doggie. IT WAS TRYING SO HARD. IT DESERVED BETTER.

Sarah is being shown photos of the original Terminator from T1 from the security footage at the police station. Apparently, they saw him on mall footage, too. The police are mad that Sarah has no reaction and I'm like... you spent years telling her she was crazy, and NOW you want stuff from her?? Sigh. Is this the drugs that are responsible for her apathy or is it something else? I think she's contemplating her next move...

Silbermann being an ASSHOLE about it...

Honestly, not sure I blame Sarah for not cooperating given how she's been treated thus far... she knows from experience that even the most well-meaning officers are functionally useless against a Terminator because they don't really GET IT.

But she gets a paper clip. And knowing Sarah, that's all she needs to pick a lock and GTFO.

John says he grew up in Nicaragua as Sarah studied from paramilitary officers throughout Central and South America. He uses the word "shack up," which implies Sarah traded lessons for sex, but I hope... she found some sort of comfort there? It's clear from her hallucination she still desperately loves Kyle. SOB.

John realizes he's been an asshole about Sarah all this time because she WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG. The whole theme of this series is that pretty much everyone except for Kyle TOTALLY BELIEVED SARAH WAS CRAZY, so it's nice to see John finally back on track again. He's younger, so he hasn't been indoctrinated into the patriarchy quite as hard as everyone else in this movie.

of course they're going to go try to bust her out, but she might be out on her own by the time they get there...

But of course the T1000 is going to try to get her so he can copy her and he's going to kill her after that, because that's standard operating procedure. I'm not sure how a T101 would necessarily know that, but maybe he ran into some in the future before he was sent back? Whatever, it sounds plausible.

"Fuck you! She's a priority to me!" YEAH, JOHN, YOU TELL 'EM!!

I like how all these random muscle dudes are all coming over to investigate when John starts shouting about being kidnapped... only to be so confused when he blows them off. I'm sure the T1000 will be around to question them later, of course.

Oh, T101 is programmed to obey John Connor... even the younger version. LOLOLOLOL.

John is such a little shit. YOU CALLED THOSE PUNKS OVER TO HELP YOU, WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH AN ASS NOW? All you had to do was say "Look, sorry, just a misunderstanding, we're good," and MOVE ON instead of this Macho power trip.

(I take back what I said about John and the patriarchy, btw.)

Oh my god, the random dude who tried to help his friend gets SHOT, WTF JOHN, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU STARTED THIS!!!

In which John Connor learns that Terminators are NOT toys. DAMN STRAIGHT YOU LITTLE PUNK.

Of course the police can get into the state mental hospital without question. The guard doesn't even check ID or ask questions, just waves him through. (It probably saves his life, though.)

AAAAAHHHH, the creepy guard is assaulting Sarah when she's strapped down eww gross please no. I suppose I should be grateful it wasn't anything more graphic than him licking her face. She can't react because she's got the paper clip in her mouth.

(Kyle Reese would be so proud of her right now.)

Ahh, it's night, but everything's so brightly lit. This is going to be freakin' beautiful action scene.

Sarah ties her hair back! This is a symbolic gesture, of course, and a practical one, but also a huge question for me: what is she using for a hair tie? No way they gave her one... what is she improvising with?

AHHHH THE T1000 IS IN THE FLOOR HOLY FUCK THAT'S CREEPY. And that's how he acquired the guard when the guard walked over him. WOW.

So the gun on his hip when he originally shifts is a fake? It's part of him- because the T1000 can't make weapons. So he has to take the guard's gun. I think that's what happened?

It's going to be really hard for me to mourn when that asshole orderly that's assaulted Sarah gets what's coming to him. The only question is whether Sarah's going to get him first.

GOD SARAH CONNOR KICKING ASS IS SO SATISFYING. First the dude who assaulted her, and then Silbermann. Karma's such a bitch, isn't it?

John in his naivete order the T101 not to kill anybody, so he just shoots the guard in the legs instead. John, you'd better be more careful with your wording there....

Oh, goody, another underground parking garage...

Sarah comes face to face with the T101... awkward. She runs away before she sees John, only to get tackled. But the T101 comes to her rescue.

The female guard is the only one to bother him by knocking his shades off, lol.

AAHHHHHH THE TERMINATOR TELLS HER WHAT KYLE REESE SAID TO HER BECAUSE ADULT JOHN CONNOR TOLD HIM IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO GET HER TO TRUST HIM (and also a freakin' great callback!!!)

Silbermann is watching the whole thing go down, he's probably going to spill it all to the T1000, of course...

Of course the T1000 just walks through the bars. Holy shit Silbermann is never going to get over the fact that Sarah was right all along. This is going to totally break him. Either that, or he'll double down on it.to save face. The only reason he survives is because he stays close to the wall and nobody cares enough to stop and deal with him.

AHHH, THE CGI WHEN HIS HEAD SPLITS OPEN IS BOTH TOTALLY FAKE AND ALSO HELLA CREEPY AND SILBERMANN IS WATCHING ALL OF IT, THEY'RE TOTALLY GOING TO LOCK HIM UP AFTER THIS OH MY GOD, KARMA.

Like, the uncanny valley of '90s CGI totally WORKS here, because it's just so fucking creepy. But it's also another sign that this is action and not horror, because action is less focused on blood and guts and gore--the reality and effects of violence.

Oh, good, they steal a car, because they weren't all going to fit on the motorcycle.

The T1000 has given up all subtlety now, and is just a giant silver amorphous human now. Oh, wait, now they ran out of money and he's human again.

LOLOLOLOL Sarah and T101 making John reload in the back seat because OF COURSE HE KNOWS HOW TO DO THAT, HE'S SARAH'S KID.

Sarah Connor is in her friggin' ELEMENT NOW, boys and girls.

god, it's like crossing the Terminator with Freddie Krueger or something (I almost typed "Freddie Mercury," and that's an interesting slip, given how much like mercury the silver goo reminds me of...)

Ahhh, Sarah hugs John and then lectures him for being stupid and reckless, and John just wants love and support... awwwww, he's trying so hard. I love Sarah, and she loves her son, but they don't always connect...

John doesn't want his mom or the T101 to see him crying, because patriarchy. Sigh.

The T101 sewing Sarah up is such a delicious callback to T1 on so many levels. And then she sews HIM up, oh my god.

BRAIN SURGERY ON A TERMINATOR, WOW.

The CPU of a Terminator is what's in the lab at Cyberdyne that they're experimenting on... which is going to become the core of Skynet... NO WONDER IT TRIES TO KILL EVERYONE, IT'S A FUCKING TERMINATOR AT HEART, IT'S ONLY DOING WHAT IT WAS PROGRAMMED TO DO!!!!

(this explains SO MUCH, honestly)

I wish John asserting his independence was NOT another example of a man telling Sarah Connor what to do, thank you very much. And I hate how she's literally relegated to the back seat, ugh. This is a great example of how horror tropes are more feminist-friendly than action.

John deigning to give his mother money is the most obnoxious thing ever, good for Sarah snatching it out of his hand, counting it, and handing him back a handful. We're supposed to find him endearing and relatable and I just keep wanting to smack him for his sexist bullshit.

Children playing with fake guns at the gas station, like that isn't symbolic of anything. John's seen too much now to take it lightly. Compare the children playing on the playground earlier in the movie with this.

wow, I’m still only halfway through the movie, who knew this was so deep

[princess-peregrine]

I made a short thing a while back so i'm gonna post it now, you can ignore it

please forgive me i don’t know how to make an under the cut post, just scroll really fast

Storm Hawks is a show that takes place in the fantasy world of Atmos, world of a thousand mountain top kingdoms., each protected by a sky night against the forces of darkness. These include beasts, rogues; and worst of all, Cyclonians. The Storm Hawks are an individual group of a wandering military force called sky knights. In the show a sky knight squadron is assigned or stays at an individual Terra, which are what cities on the mountain tops are called. The characters that we focus on are members of the Storm Hawks, which is the meaning of the title. The Storm Hawks are the only squadron that roams from Terra to Terra which is beneficial to the story. Storm hawks as a show is episodic and not streamlined which creates a much more free environment for the writing of the show. While there may be call backs; although rarely, they are unconnected an unnecessary for the episodes story. In modern television there is a push for a more streamlined story structure in episodic stories. And unfortunately to the detriment of other shows, an episodic structure in a streamlined show. You can see the examples of this in shows such as Steven Universe and Star VS The Forced of Evil. Steven universe is a show that has a goal and an overarching plot. But there are many throwaway forgettable episodes intermixed with story progression, and often in the times of high intensity which diminishes the value of the story. And Star Vs The Forces of Evil is a show that in the first season was focused mainly on episodic contained stories but as the second season aired there was a clear push for a more streamlined story and romance plot while trying to keep the episodic nature of the show. A benefit of Storm Hawks is that in it's fifty-two episode run only three are streamlined episodes with a clear connection to the rest of the show. Those episodes would include the first episode that establishes the show and the two part season two finale. The story follows the six person crew of the ship called the Condor. This includes the primary main character who is the leader of the crew, Aerrow. The additional main characters are: Piper, Junko, Finn, Stork, and Radarr. Their roles on the Condor, stated in the intro, are as follows: Piper, the specialist. Junko, the strongman. Finn, the marksman. Stork, the helmsman. And Radarr, the copilot. Storm Hawks, the show, benefits in writing from having a wide cast, as characters are usually introduced each episode and provide the conflict or journey for our main characters. Episodes are either taking place on or off the Condor. Which seems like an obvious distinction but there are many episodes where the conflict or main story surrounds the Condor as a ship that it is an important distinction. The ship, weapons, and all appliances are powered by an energy source of crystals. In the show crystals are naturally occurring magical items that are the main driving force of the villains. While episodes that focus on the Storm Hawks themselves have a wide variety of possibilities, the plot lines with a primary villain involved normally center around the obtaining of crystals. These primary villains are the raptors and Cyclonians. Raptors are a race within the world of Storm Hawks that are anthropomorphism lizards. This race is almost entirely depicted by a small cast of Raptors0 that are continuous. The Cyclonians are an apposing military faction from the Cyclonia, or Terra's that belong to Cyclonia. Very often the Cyclonians are represented by repeated models with identical masks and armor, infrequently distinguished by mustaches. There are however three generals of the Cyclonian army that are frequently occurring and leave impacts on the main cast. There is Snipe, an extremely strong oaf that prefers to hit first and never think that often is in the Storm Hawks way to create meaningless conflict. Secondly there is Ravess, a tall slender pink haired violin player that is much smarter and has more meaningful involvement to the story. Ravess and Snipe are siblings in the show and that is a good source of comedy between the two. Lastly there is the Cyclonian General, the Dark Ace. The Dark Ace acts as a foil to our main character Aerrow as Dark Ace is the murderer of the previous Storm Hawks. Dark Ace appears very frequently often to simply fight Aerrow one on one as the interactions between the Dark Ace and other protagonists besides Aerrow are very limited. Furthermore there is a leader of Cyclonia, Master Cyclonis. Master Cyclonis is seen as the ultimate threat, often depicted as the smartest and most dangerous person. She, similar to Piper is a crystal-mage, someone who is proficient and very skilled in using crystals. Cyclonis acts as the foil to Piper similarly how the Dark Ace is a foil for Aerrow, although in a much more subdued sense. Cyclonis' strength is much more implied than shown in the show. I'd like; unfortunately, to bring about a comparison to the Show Avatar the Last Airbender. I'd like to avoid singing the shows praises but as mention earlier, the effectiveness of streamlined and episodic storytelling. Avatar is a show that is streamlined, if you watch episodes out of order you would find yourself struggling to piece the story together unless you re-watched the episodes many times. Which is what re-runs allowed for. However With an episodic story there is no need and no frustration to understand the story because things rarely carry over if at all. And Storm Hawks and Avatar the Last Airbender are very similar with their stories, albeit lacking forwarding of plot. As the setting of Storm Hawks similarly takes place in a world where the main villain is the leader of their own military force and generals that directly jagskdfa;sldfhafhksdhfasjdf;la okay I'm done, I don't feel like writing anymore because now I'm stretching and I just wanna talk about how gay I think piper and Cyclonis are for each other and I mean seriously, I just wanna talk about the anti Nazi episode that focuses on Junko's character development. And tbh it would just be a rant and not an essay so you know what, I type faster when ranting anyway.

Okay so like, in the second season there is this episode, a wallop for all season. And I think this episode in particular is one of the best in the entire show, possibly the best. And ok, so throughout the series Junko is constantly either fixing bikes, or doing something strongman characters do like fixing and making. He makes weaponry for the storm hawks is what I'm getting at. Clearly he is a very intelligent character. All but one of the storm hawks are. That being Finn who is a total doofus but I love him and he is amazing and needs to be protected. Even if he has fought in tons of serious battles he's just dumb. But Finn and Junko in the show are depicted as each others best friend. Two sides of the same coin. They share interactions with each other more than the other crew. Alright so stork is up there with who they hang out with but stork is almost always on the ship. But the thing wallop for all season does is acknowledge that Junko is smart. Throughout the series he is just a second idiot on the ship. He is shown to always hold the dumb ass brain cell along with Finn mainly for comedy. Okay so in a wallop for all season Junko is sent to take over the family business by the wallop tribe leader. Oh by the way, all wallops are super strong and look like rhino's. And while Junko takes over the business the other Storm Hawks find out that Cyclonians are on the Terra with them. And there is a confrontation with the tribe leader to get them off the Terra and the Cyclonians want to take the Storm Hawks prisoners and kill them. And the leader is all like, we have a peace agreement with Cyclonia and the Cyclonians are welcome here and that isn't going to change. And Junko is all like Change it or else. Now earlier I said the anti Nazi episode and I understand that saying Nazi is a reaction word these days for cartoon villains and movie villains that are completely separate, but the thing is it's a base word to explain how evil the villains should be viewed as because of the real world emotions sympathy and parallels. And this episode, okay you know that phrase that's like, if there is a Nazi sitting at a table, and ten people sit at the table, there are eleven people sitting at the table? Unrelated in a way but I like the phrase. Mainly because I hate Nazi's and white supremacists and am definitely not changing that. But anyway where was I? I just got home after a long time out. Ok right. So I forgot where I was going with the phrase thing. But to be back on track. Junko is all, change it or else. And the chief is like, you challenging me to be tribe leader? And Junko is all sure if that's what it'll take. And then they go out to the woods to fight and they're arguing the whole time during the fight. And Junko is telling the chief that he could change it, they're going to be betrayed by Cyclonia anyway. And the chief is all, this is for the benefit of the wallops Junko, I'm just doing what's good for everyone else. And Junko is all, good for everyone? Wallops hate helping other Terra's and other people, why don't you fight back like normal. And like, after that it's my second favourite line of the episode. The chief screams the reason they're sided with Cyclonia, the reason that they're letting the bad guys do what they want and why the chief is afraid to do anything about it. “CYCLONIS, IS, TOO, STRONG!” it's in caps bc if I remember right he throws a tree at that point. And basically the end of the fight Junko is a swing away from winning and he gives mercy to the chief and forfeits and the chief calls him weak for that. And when Junko is leaving he gives a little speech. “i used to be ashamed because all the other wallops were bigger and stronger than me. I thought being strong was the most important thing. But strength means nothing, unless you have the courage to use it for good.” that's the first half then an exchange with the chief. And then the rest. “I am a wallop, and I'm also a Storm Hawk, the good guys.” And Junko has had other episodes. But all of his other episodes don't show his strength as a character. They normally only surround his physical strength, the first of his episodes primarily focusing on his strength. Although this is the first episode of his, and unfortunately it's near the end of the series, that has an impact on characters not in the main cast. We see an exchange that goes along these lines between wallops hiding from Cyclonians. “I think Junko was right.” “But what can we do?” “We'll meet tonight, just because Thrag supports Cyclonia, doesn't mean we have to.” And yeah this is a small exchange but the impact it leaves is from being a show where normally episodes are goofy and joke filled, same with this one, that don't keep up a serious story line.

So like She-Ra, it's a streamlined show. The episodes are very specifically meant to be played in order. Some episodes are able to stand alone without knowing the story, unfortunately that's a lie. Whenever story lines could be regarded as episodic, that's primarily the B plot of the episode. And like, the show likes to jump back to the second main character, Catra, in the horde who is always doing something to progress the story. Honestly I have a problem with binging and the style of show Netflix puts out but that's a different issue entirely and just an opinion of mine. You know what's not an opinion? Storm Hawks is a great fucking show. Like for real, it's sloppy and sometimes rushed but it is always amazing. Except for the home movie night episode, that was a clip show episode, those are always terrible.

The point is you should watch Storm Hawks. What the hell. There's this episode called number one fan, and it's a stinker of the series. But you know what? It's fine, it's not too important at all, and if anything it's a love letter to the fans. Because number one fan is just, prophetic, it knew what was gonna happen with people like me. And basically the episode is about the storm hawks finding a fan of theirs, of the sky night squad Storm Hawks, and are totally flattered. Except Finn, he doesn't like Finn. And Finn's plot of the episode is trying to get the fan to like him. And the Storm Hawks are indulging him and letting him ride on their bikes and giving him a good day. Then predictably they say something the wrong way and he gets sad and upset and they leave and the villains come in to save the kid and bada bing bada boom the episode is over. And you know what, I don't like that episode, I don't enjoy it save for the one scene in it that had Cyclonis. But you know what? It was still a funny an well written episode.

There's also the fact that I holy fucking yes love the Cyper ship, or pipcy, I just say piper x Cyclonis like i'm from 2009.

IN THE NEXT PARAGRAPH I START TALKING ABOUT PIPER BUT THEN I DIVULGE INTO A STREAM OF THOUGHT THAT CONTAINS MY THOUGHTS ON GAY REP AND ALSO SPOILERS FOR STEVEN UNIVERSE.

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR STEVEN UNIVERSE IN THIS PARAGRAPH.

let me rant about Piper for a second. First of all she is a main character. Most of the time she is in the spotlight and the driving character. Hell, a few episodes taken away and Aerrow is no longer the main character and Piper is. And you know what else, one she's a girl so there's that. And two, and this is the big thing, SHE IS BLACK WITH A REALISTIC SKIN TONE IN A CHILDRENS CARTOON IN 2007! Like holy fuck aside from that one episode of 6teen where the girl says she's gay and already has a date to the dance, this is like the best shit. Also she has blue hair which I sometimes forget about but she always, no matter what, wears the orange headband. And it's not like it's necessary because of character design. She has been in many different outfits. Plus I'd like to mention that this was 2007, and it's a 3d show. Like, the quality of the animation is still amazing. And the fight scenes are always stunning to see happen. And oh oh, her bike has helicopter wings on it. Like aside from it being a jet she has helicopter wings like that is just a personalized Piper thing. And I'd like to mention that Piper is very high key bi, although never said in the show. And if you're going. Not said in the show? Darn ):. well let me fucking remind you, it has never been stated in she ra or shown, in the show that Anyone is a Lesbian or even Bi. All we have are just things from the creators that they say OUT OF THE SHOW when very clearly they could devote literally 2 seconds in show to say “I'm gay” and keep going like holy fuck. If Catra and Adora are lesbians then so are Piper and Cyclonis. And it kinda upsets me because then we have a wedding in Steven Universe but they still go, can't assign labels to them still gotta remember they're rocks and even when in the same supposed gay wedding episode the worse than Stalin diamonds come down and fuck their shit up. And this is all happening when a straight guy, let me repeat that, A STRAIGHT WHITE GUY ON NICKOLODEON WROTE THE BEST GAY REPRESENTATION IN A CHILDRENS SHOW YET. You remember all that? The most bland, normal, everyday shit for gay people was put in the loud house and it's the best representation for children's media ever, par for the 6teen thing. I just wanted to say that I ship Piper and Cyclonis but I wrote all this. Shit. Anyway Cyclonis x Piper for life, they're married and ruling the Atmos together and have a kid, XOXO

Okay now I'd like to address the idea of a continuation or a reboot. Personally, I want a continuation, not a reboot. Most of the other fans would like a reboot that is edgier and more serious but I think they might have missed the point of the show. Even lightning-arrow, the main storm hawks fan blog second only to my might which will one day crush all in it's path, I'm so ahead of my time that my time left me behind to remind time to make this time mine. Many people like to look at the concept art and story and think, wow I would have liked this show. And they aren't wrong, they would have liked that show. But I think they would have liked it less. Storm Hawks is a comedy show first and and action show sometimes. Very often the episodes are joke filled and very tame on action. Yet some people would like an edgier and darker show, to which I ask, why? Did you not like when Finn made a fool of himself at a talent contest by doing the air guitar? Did you not like when a chicken interrupted a very serious fight between Aerrow and Dark Ace? Did you not like every single one of Storks lines? Now is a good time to mention Stork in this argument for edgier and darker Storm Hawks. Stork is the dark character, the sarcastic character, the witty and depressed one. Stork is very obviously an emo, and that is intentionally displayed in his character design. If you want to know what I mean, he has the dark hair over half his face thing going on. That's how emo we're talking. And all of his lines are paranoid, sarcastic, depressing, or condescending. And almost 100% of his lines are jokes and are always funny. Stork is the darkest character that makes jokes about death that always manage to get a laugh. The problem with making the show more serious and edgier, is that his character might as well be pointless and thrown away. In a cast of characters that aren't jovial and all grim, where's the need for another grim character? Stork is yang of the group, while everyone else is happy and smiling, he provides the contrast, that is his character. He is meant to be a foil for the rest of the entire cast, protagonists and antagonists. And I believe it's easy to forget about all the jokes that the show made you laugh at when you go a long time without watching it and only remember the serious pieces. The fact of the matter is that the jokes and humour and lightheartedness is what made the serious moments stand out to people that want it to be darker. When people ask for a darker story what they're asking for is the same feeling of contrast when the heavy moments hit. It's like eating ice cream with your best friend and in the middle of the conversation you bite the ice cream with your teeth and at the same time your friend punches you in the gut. And then going to your weaver friend and asking them to hit you in the gut, with no ice cream and you're ready for the impact. Why did I use this specific example? For zero reason and I'm not at all salty about dropping a chocolate ice cream cone with the blueberry shell at dairy haven stop asking questions.

The point is storm hawks is amazing and you should watch it. It's my favourite show after all.

Oh shoot I went through Aerrow, Junko, piper, Finn, and Stork. I forgot to mention Radarr. Radarr is a squirrel. That's it. I'm not joking. Radarr is a squirrel. Oh right maybe I should have mentioned that earlier. Um yeah guys, the reason a darker show wouldn't work is, hmmm, I don't know, one of our main characters is a squirrel that squeaks!!!!

oh yeah thought of another thing. I don't thing people realize that when the characters were chosen for the show, and their old pre-show character designs were rejected. It's because the creators themselves, decided the ones we got were better. And thank god for that because if I had to look at Aerrow in hi 5th grader learned what anime is and picked up a how to draw manga style book and skipped to the last picture design I would probably never have watched the show. Also people for some reason want Piper to keep her old arc about her being a miner, and just, no guys. Think about that for a few minutes, just no.

Also I'd like to mention how fucking glad I am that the Master Cyclonis design changed. Before her name was Master Anarchis and that is just awful and should never have been on the table. Master Cyclonis is a powerful name however. Anarchis makes me think she's gonna turn into a spider.

And also also, I don't particularly care about what isn't in the show. Oh the backstory was explained like this, and the lore of the atmos was explained on the site before it was shut down. Yeah ok, that's neat, but was it in the show? Was that the content we got as average consumers of the media? No? It requires a different platform and doesn't actually affect the show? Then it might as well be pointless to me. Sure you can have it but don't expect me to be convinced to write my fanfiction of them according to those standards. Granted no one has actually told me that, but being on tumblr is very personal to me and makes me feel like I'm talking to people. Conclusion, Storm Hawks is good and you should watch it.

[asprettyasyourown]

How do you expect the Hardhome plot to play out in the books? Especially with Arya’s and Faceless men’s investment in the same?

Hi anon. I assume you’re referring to what happened to the wildlings in Hardhome?

(For those who don’t remember, after Mance Ryder’s forces have been defeated south of the Wall by Stannis, some wildlings were led by a wood witch named Mother Mole to Hardhome. She predicted that they would “find salvation where they once found damnation” and had a vision of ships coming to sail them south. However, they didn’t fare so well there, the situation growing so dire they had to eat their own dead while they’re presumably surrounded by wights. Jon sent help to get them out (it’s not well received), but slavers came first. The wildlings, following the prophecy, believed them to be rescuers and sent their women and children to them. Of course the slavers had no intention to do any rescuing and thus roped them up to sell them in Lys. But while they were sailing a huge storm broke: they were separated, one ship ending up in Lys and the other in Braavos.)

Honestly, I think it might very well be the catalyst for Arya to leave the Faceless Men. Of course, there could be other factors as well (learning about Jon’s “death”, maybe meeting Jeyne and have her tell about the shit-show that is the North now), but it might be the breaking point for Arya.

Look, we know our girl doesn’t fare well with the FM. We know she struggles to leave her Northern roots behind when she killed Daeron, a Night’s Watch deserter - something the Starks are entrusted with. With her refusal to give up Needle because it reminds her of home, of family, Jon especially. And ultimately her warging of Nymeria, her other half, who now serves as a link to her identity and her land.

We know she is fiercely protective of the smallfolk and has a strong sense of justice, from Mycah to Weasel and Gendry and Hot Pie, or when she defended Sam against the braavosi who were looking to rob him. We know she loves them and being around them, like when she used to sit at her father’s side and listen to the travelers coming to Winterfell, how she likes learning about Braavos’ culture and people (though one can argue it is part of her training, I do think she genuinely loves doing it).

We know she struggles to adapt to the neutral stance of the Many-Faced God, since she had to convinces herself to kill her first target (the old insurance guy who was conning people) by thinking he was a bad man who deserved it, or when she exclaimed that the masters should have been the ones to die instead of the slaves when the Kindly Man told her about the story of Braavos.

So when she learns that a ship full of of wildlings women and children (Northern roots) are being held to be sold as slaves (sense of justice, love of people), she will want to help them (can’t hold a neutral stance). It’s in her core. I don’t see a situation that could draw Arya more than this one.

My guess is that she will beg the FM to intervene, or at least let her intervene. I see her trying to play into Braavos and the FM’s creation (by slaves who rebelled against their oppressors) to appeal to the Kindly Man. But he will refuse her because he’s a little bitch because the FM are neutral and rescuing them would mean taking lives that were not meant to be taken blah blah blah. This will be when Arya finally realizes that the Faceless Men are full of shit, and leaves for good.

(Btw, this would make a nice parallel to her begging Jaqen to help her escape with Gendry and Hot Pie, but in this case Arya doesn’t have any leverage against the Kindly Man - she can’t really blackmail him, it would backfire spectacularly - so she just says “fuck it” and leaves to do it herself, since apparently she has to do everything around here.)

Now how she would free the wildlings is a bit trickier. Arya is still a very young girl after all. Contrary to Dany, she doesn’t have an army or dragons - yet - so she can’t just barge in the ship, kill the slavers and take off. I mean, it would technically be possible, but the afterward logistics would be a problem (how would she feed such a big number of people? How would she get them back across the Narrow Sea? etc). So I have two theories.

One is that Arya’s wildlings join Dany’s Dothraki/Unsullied/etc and they all come back to Westeros together. But while Arya will definitively meet Dany and team up with her (there’s too many foreshadowings to be any way else), the logistics of their meeting is a bit hazardous to me, at least for now. Meereen is a long way from Braavos after all. Maybe if both crowds are travelling towards Westeros and somewhere on the journey they run into each other…? It’s a possibility, but I think the timeline would conflict. Dany still has to deal with the shit-show that is Meereen right now, and it’s not something that will be resolved in one chapter. I guess the Meereen storyline could be tied by the time Arya cut ties with the Faceless Men, but even if it did, Dany and her people still have a long way to get to Braavos/Arya. How is Arya going to feed her people by the time they get to her? So while this theory could technically happen, I doubt it will.

My second theory involves the Iron Bank. I saw a great theory (can’t remember where, if anyone has a link please give it to me!) that the killing of Raff the Sweetling in the TWOW Mercy chapter was actually orchestrated by the Iron Bank. They paid the Faceless Men to make it appear like Raff was the one who killed Mercy (believable, since Raff is a known rapist and no one would think that such a young silly girl could take down a grown soldier). When Braavos will learn that an official from Westeros killed a sweet young actress after possibly raping her, it will cause an uproar and finally give the Iron Bank an excuse to cut ties with the Iron Throne and engage in martial repercussions to pay for the huge debt the crown owns them (and probably to have a better stranglehold on Westeros). So that would mean Arya didn’t actually went rogue (except when she said “Think so?”, but the FM has very little chance to hear about that), and it creates a link between Arya and the Iron Bank through the Faceless Men.

Now I think the Kindly Man very much expects Arya to leave the House of Black and White one day. He knows she can’t bring herself to erase her identity, and thus will never be a true Faceless Woman. But he also knows how valuable Arya Stark is, as the (apparent) sole successor of the North’s throne. And since he works with (for?) the Iron Bank, I wouldn’t be surprised if he told them who she is. To the Iron Bank, this would represent an incredible opportunity: get hold of the Six Kingdoms through the crown’s debt AND the North through Arya.

So once Arya leaves the FM, I can see them stepping in to offer their help with the rescuing of the wildlings, kind of like Illyrio helped Dany for the promise of Viserys paying him back once he gets on the Iron Throne, or like the Manderlys are trying to do with Rickon. They could offer food and shelter and means to go back to Westeros, thus creating a debt Arya would have to pay once she regains her place as the North’s heir. It would also explain why the Kindly Man would let her leave the HOBAW unharmed while she knows so many of their secrets, because she would still be working for him technically - as a pawn.

(Of course, this plan would fall short since Arya is not actually the only Stark alive, and she isn’t next in succession. I mean, she does have a lot of foreshadowing of ending Queen, but that’s another topic. I also doubt Arya would let herself be manipulated like this, or that the other Northern lords (and siblings) would be fine with that.)

In terms of narrative, I think it makes sense. For someone with such a large amount of leadership qualities, foreshadowings and experiences, she has been surprisingly removed from anything political (well, not as much removed than a bystander). I mean, Robb was King in the North, Jon Commander of the Night’s Watch, Bran is the Prince of Winterfell, Sansa has Littlefinger trying to make her queen from the Vale and Rickon has the Manderlys working to put him on the North’s throne. Every Stark kid has had people working to place them in positions of power and back in Winterfell (some with good intentions, some not), except for Arya. Yet she actually proved she would be a great leader. I think the Iron Bank could very much play this role in Arya’s storyline.

Anyway, here’s my (very long) answer. I hope this is what you expected!

[enchantment1385]

🐉 Age Questions

I was tagged by the very lovely, @nerdierholler to give up some of my darkest gaming secrets... Yaaay! Thank you, darling XD 

1. Favourite game of the series? Wow... Not pulling any punches, are we? Honestly, they all have things I adore and all have things I dislike. I’ve played DAO more than the others, but that’s because it’s the oldest of them all. I love the camp mechanic and just how in depth Origins is, but the combat is... dated? Da2 has Hawke, which for me is a winner in itself.  And DAI has so many wonderful characters.  

2. How did you discover 🐉 Age? I honestly can not even remember at this point! I remember playing DAO when it was quite ‘new’. I remember dying, aaannnnd then i didn’t play it again until someone showed me how amazing DAI looked. So, I bought it and then got back into them all in a big way, and destroyed my life in doing so! 

3. How many times have you’ve played the games?  Ahahahahaha... Umm... I don’t know..?  Let’s put it this way, on my laptop alone (as in ALL my console hours, which is a whole lot, not counted.) I have clocked up over 1200 hours on DAO, 720 on DA2, and 1250 on DAI... So, yes. Now you all know how very sad I am... 

4. Favourite race to play as? Dwarfs, they hands down have the BEST and funniest dialog options.

5. Favourite class? DAO; Dual wield rogue  DAI & DA2; Mage. Oh, so many mages...

6. Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time? I kinda vary it, but not as much as I sometimes want to. I’ve never done a pure ‘asshole’ playthrough, even though sometimes I would like to see how it ends up. I blame Bioware for making the NPC’s likeable.

7. Go-to adventuring group? DAI: Alistair, Zevran, Shale. DA2: Varric, Fenris/Carver, Anders. DAI: Varric, Dorian, and random. My 3rd spot always changes so I can hear as much awesome dialog as possible. 

8. Which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

This poor sod...  Viridis - My DAO dalish elf is a close second, but she’s dead, so her struggle is over, and she went out a hero. Poor Faeron suffers every. single. day. And still finds some reason to try and smile. 

9. Favourite romance? Alistair. But that is helped hugely thanks to cute (and not so cute) mods.  This is actually hard because, Although I like to romance certain people more than others, that isn’t me saying that their romance is my favourite.  I mean, I freakin’ love Dorian, but out of all the romances I feel his was done really well, but... A little quick compared to others which had a nicer, spread over time, thing, going on. 

10. Have you read any of the comics/📚? I read one... But that was a long while ago now.  It was good! They’re just pretty pricey and very rarely on sale. 

11. If you read them, which was your favourite 📓? The one I read? 

12. Favourite DLCs? All are acceptable answers, bar trespasser. - I don’t care what you say, I know it was amazing. I know it was stunning. I know it answered a lot of questions and set up DA4 in a great way and such - BUT

This. This is too much. HE’S ALREADY LOST HIS LOVER - AND THEN THE AVERAGE, BALD, WOLF, WHO STOLE FAERON’S ARMOUR BTW, THEN RIPS HIS SODDING ARM OFF?! 

FUCK YOU, BIOWARE.

13. Things that annoy you? Invisible walls. Boundaries and made to be broken!  And doors in DAI. I am always getting stuck behind one instead of running through the doorway. Please tell me it’s not just me?! I miss the doors of DAO and DA2. I am willing to sacrifice immersion on that one small point, I just want to get through the doorway, please. 

14. Orlais or Ferelden? Who in the shit picks Orlais? For Ferelden!! 

15. Templar's or Mages? Mages. Especially as i’m playing one 95% of the time.

16. If you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one? Depends.  Jereth, Xander, Tobias, and Faeron & Nico, are all from the same timeline, and my ‘canon’ run if you like. Xander also has a sister (other than Bethany) who is from the same time, but also has her own separate parallel play-through.  I mix and match backgrounds. 

17. What did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc.) Jereth called his mabari, Captain blightballs, because he is forever 12, and thinks it’s funny. Xander’s mabari was named Wrex, as in Wrex from Mass Effect.  Faeron’s Halla is named Ghilas, which is elven for ‘to go’.  Nico’s horse (yes a horse and NOT a halla) is called stormy, which is a RP in joke.

18. Have you installed any mods? Oh hell yes! Many, many mods. Gods bless you mod makers! You guys make everything so much better! And I say this as someone who has played all the games, many times, totally un-modded.  Lots of better textures for CC, gameplay changes, cheats. You name it! It’s not like I don’t know the base game at this point. 

19. Did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden?       Yes, and no.  Did Jereth want to get out of the circle, and possibly being made tranquil? Oh yes! Yes indeed. However, did he want to drink blood cocktails, watch his bromies die, and actually have to do stuff?  Not so much. 

20. Hawke’s personality? Purple. They always all end up as purple... Or at least, varying degrees. I can’t not.  Xander is 100% purple, bar maybe 4 occasions in the whole game. 

21. Did you make matching armour for your companions in Inquisition? Heh... I have TWINS. I had to try and remember who was wearing what, and which parts were dyed, and then make two sets... Utter nightmare. 

22. If your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change? Jereth wouldn’t change anything, because he isn’t that wise. Plus, in his mind he ended up coming out ahead.  Xander would have tried to save Bethany and paid more attention to his mother. He’d just try and be more responsible, I guess, but probably end up failing and just being the same smartass as ever.  Faeron... My poor boy... Faeron would do it all differently if he could. I think, if he could change one thing, he’d have let Morrigan drink from the pool. Having yet MORE voices in his head was the last thing he needed, not to mention a constant reminder of who Mythal really is...  Nico wouldn’t let Dorian get close enough to Faeron for the relationship to start in the first place. It was was a big enough thing for her to accept it in the first place... But when he decided to leave, and said Faeron couldn’t go with him... Nico didn’t take kindly to it. 

23. Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?  Twins? Someone dating Varric? The fact that Hawke, Amell & Alistair are all alive?? Sorry Stroud. (not sorry) Yeah... I substitute that bit... You know all those pictures of Hawke or Alistair’s LI waiting on them? Well, I just can’t ever kill Alistair and leave poor Jereth holding some wilting daisies, pouting. I mean... Who would put up with him full time?? Leliana?? I think not! 

24. Are any of your character(s) based on someone? Yeah, me. All of them. Well, mostly. Tobias for example is nothing like me in any sense. But Jereth, Xander (& his sister Lola), Faeron and Nico are all some part of me. Some of my other wardens and Hawke’s too. 

25. Who did you leave in the Fade? Sorry again Stroud. (Still really not sorry...) 

26. Favourite mount? Faeron on his Halla is definitely most epic... But the Hart sound... It’s like having PTSD, I’m forever on edge and thinking ‘Don’t stop suddenly... DON’T stop suddenly...’  I did get this awesome Dracolisk mod which made them look like Maleficent’s dragon, which was so good for my qunari mage. 

Tagging: @heraldofwho @tessa1972 @keeperscompanionsdai @ielmoe @shannaraisles @dreadhobo @gugle1980 @inquisitorsmabari @sassylavellen @dickeybbqpit @dalish-ish @john-cousland @long-liv-prairies

[neuxue]

Before you get to the arc payoffs, I think it would be cool if you could illustrate your thoughts on the journeys the main characters have gone on to get to this point. Like, your thoughts on their consistency and what you think worked and didn't work, aside from Perrin's plotline temporarily dying and Mat disappearing for a book.

This is an excellent question and I could probably take several weeks to compile an answer but I’m going to answer it now because I am an adult who is entirely in control of her life and her choices especially regarding fiction, fictional characters, and the discussion thereof.

‘Main characters’ is a rather flexible definition in WoT so I’ll start with the original set from EotW and go from there, and we’ll see how far I get.

(Okay it turns out I only got through the Emond’s Field group, becasue I’m me and I can’t just write a sentence or two for each one, but I might try later to do the same for some other characters)

Rand al’Thor: Rand’s character arc, and the way it’s executed, is fantastic. He definitely benefits from the sheer length of the series (well, his arc does; he just suffers), because it allows for a nuanced, complex, thorough character journey from farmboy to broken hero, from human viewpoint protagonist to distant focal point around which everything spirals, from determined trusting optimist to desperate half-mad fatalist. Any of those transitions can be and have been done in shorter wordcounts, but the length of the series, and the way everything about what Rand does and goes through escalates a little (or sometimes a lot) with each book, gives his arc this feeling of an inexorable pull, of compounding pain, of just a series of small steps, each only a little further than the next. 

When you have 12 books (so far) to do that with, you can end up a huge distance away from where you started, without it ever feeling like too great a jump. Each ‘level’ (either of what he has to endure or what he himself does and becomes) is gradually normalised over time; he and the reader acclimate, so then it’s time to step up to the next. Put The Last That Could Be Done after, say, Falme, and it would still hurt but it would feel almost like too much (and also not enough, because it would lack the weight and momentum of everything that came before). Instead, you get to watch the slow unravelling of a character even as his power grows, tension building, until (like his ancestors the Aiel) he becomes all but unrecognisable as who he was at the start, but every step along the way feels like just another step, until a single step is all it takes to push him off the cliff his narrative has spent the better part of twelve books building for him.

I also love the way Jordan has played with POV in this particular arc, with Rand going from the main viewpoint character to barely having a POV. It suits the way he goes from being a protagonist beginning his journey to becoming the centre of a whirlpool that expands to encompass the entire world, as well as how he goes from being very young and human and real to… “I don’t know how human the Dragon Reborn can afford to be,“ to just dragging himself and the world to the Last Battle. He loses POV chapters because he no longer sees himself as a person with agency or even the right to his own mind – which, too, is invaded and eroded as time goes on, again fitting well with the decrease in POV chapters: his mind is literally no longer his own, nor – he believes – is his life.

I expect his to be one of the arcs with the greatest catharsis in its payoff, just because there’s so much that’s built up over time; the potential energy, if you will, is huge, and at some point it has to be released, and while building it took 12 books and counting, there’s…not all that much time left, so it’s going to be released in a far shorter time than it was built, and if anyone remembers anything from physics class, that means it’s going to hit with a hell of a lot of force.

Also okay in my head this was going to be maybe a paragraph or two per character so uh….

Egwene al’Vere: Another character arc I absolutely love, because she grows so much. She goes from strong-willed village girl seeking adventure and trying adulthood on for size to young woman finding her place in the world to true Amyrlin in strength and understanding and maturity. She’s allowed to make mistakes; and throw herself wholeheartedly into things the way so many of us do when we’re still figuring out who we are; and then smooth all of those pieces together into somoene who is still herself; but a more experienced, older, wiser, stronger version of herself. She grows up, in a very real sense, and we get to watch that play out in a way that isn’t always smooth and isn’t always perfect, but feels very real.

I’ve also talked a few times about how the main difference between her and Rand, beneath all the parallels drawn between them, is that in terms of their heroic arcs, she chooses while he is chosen. It’s something I love about Egwene’s arc and her character overall – she’s allowed to be ambitious and to want things and strive for things, and is rewarded for it rather than shut down.

She asks the world for a chance to be more, and it demands a great deal from her in return, but she rises to the challenge at each step, and then takes the next one, and then the next – like Rand, a gradual change that seems small at any given point but is huge overall – but for all that she leaves her home behind, she never loses who she is. And some of that means she keeps some of her flaws, and makes some mistakes along the way because of those flaws, and that’s…permitted, and taken into her overall arc.

And the way her arc is drawn parallel to Rand’s, in a way that draws similarities and yet simultaneously highlights the differences in how they approach these similar things, is excellent and, I think, enhances both of them as a result.

Mat Cauthon: Here’s an arc that I feel is a bit uneven or inconsistent. Some of that fits who he is – the rogue, the trickster, the one who is by his very nature inconsistent except for the aspects of him that are absolutely constant (his commitment to keeping his promises, for instance). So to some extent you don’t expect his arc to follow the same pattern as a more ‘standard’ heroic archetype. This archetype demands a bit of freedom and flexibility to play around with and sometimes flip on its head.

And I think that works well for him from TDR through TFoH. There, we watch the push-pull of denying his fate yet remaining loyal to promises and friends, telling himself he wants no responsibility and is no bloody hero and yet very much acting the part and gathering an army who follow him because they respect and believe in and trust him. We see him learn to use his luck, see him visit the Aelfinn and Eelfinn and manage to come out just a little bit ahead despite always feeling a few steps behind (and also almost dying, can’t forget that). And by the end of TFoH, he has grown, even if he doesn’t want to admit it to himself.

And then…he stagnates (’the right hand falters’), for approximately five goddamn books. He gets bogged down in a storyline that at times seems to exist purely to be a ‘battle of the sexes’ sandbox, serves as a narrative tool for belittling or putting down other characters when it’s not belittling or diminishing him, and vanishes for a book for no particular narrative reason beyond not having much to do. And then he wanders with the circus for a while before finally taking some bloody initiative and marrying his enemy’s empress. By accident, but still, it’s progress.

The thing is, if he had gone straight from the end of TFoH, with a newly acquired army and responsibility that he claims to want nothing to do with, to freeing the Windfinder(s) in Ebou Dar and then staring out at the devastation that escape caused, to giving Tuon a cluster of silk rosebuds while planning the use of gunpowder in war, to the events of As If The World Were Fog and Prince of the Ravens, I think I’d still enjoy reading about him. The pieces of a great arc are there, but the pacing is off, and there’s too much in the middle that seems to serve no real purpose (except to irritate and be irritated by other characters, which doesn’t make anyone look good).

I also think one of the issues with Mat’s arc is that more than others, he is put in positions where his gain is another central character’s loss (see for example the latter half of Swovan Night and Small Sacrifices) for…seemingly no reason. I much prefer the moments where he gains by his own merit (see This Place, This Day and The Lesser Sadness, where he acquires the Band and helps win the battle of Cairhien by being awesome), or, if it’s to be at the expense of other characters, in a way that doesn’t end up making other protagonists just look…less.

For the record, I also disliked when Egwene spent a few chapters making a fool of Nynaeve as part of flipping the leadership/power dynamic between them. I have no problem with conflict between characters (Egwene and Nynaeve bickering all the way to Tear felt real, and suited their development) or with power struggles, but I think it’s important to make sure it’s…fair, I suppose, if you’re using protagonists on both sides. A character can be narratively served by losing a conflict, so long as they’re treated as an actual agent in it, rather being temporarily demoted to narrative device, existing just to make another character look good at their expense. And the resulting ‘benefit’ to the other character feels sour as a result. (An example of this being done better is Mat fighting Gawyn and Galad; the stakes are relatively low, it’s done in a lighthearted way, and while Galad and Gawyn lose, they don’t really lose face).

I also feel like there’s so much more that could be done with the memories Mat acquires - they certainly contribute to his arc and to the positions he ends up in, and recently there was the issue with him realising that the Eelfinn might have some sort of link to him, but we never go very far into the…psychological impact, I suppose. I mean, he remembers dying. Multiple times. And even the memories that don’t involve death often involve battle. So he’s got sort-of-but-no-longer-really secondhand literal war flashbacks coming out his ears, he has howmany fragments of identity floating around in his head and seeming a part of him and yet also not? That’s fascinating, give me more. It just seems like such a cool thing to play with, and instead more often than not it’s a plot device.

Nynaeve al’Meara: Ah, Nynaeve. Another arc I love. I’ve actually written about hers already (albeit a three years and several books ago) but I’ll go into some of it briefly here as well. Where we see Egwene grow up, Nynaeve begins the book as an adult, if still on the younger side, but established in her position and her identity, even if she has to fight for it at times because of her youth and particular personality quirks. And then she has all of that taken from her, and is thrown into a world where she no longer knows who she is or should be, where none of that authority or experience she possessed means anything. It’s such an interesting way to start a character’s arc, and it plays out beautifully as Nynaeve tries to find her footing again and stumbles so many times along the way but, like Egwene, in a way that feels very real. 

Through it all she holds to certain core aspects of herself even as others are recognised as mutable, and thus learns who she is and grows into not a different person entirely, but someone more herself. Not self-aware, precisely, but…in control. She breaks her block by finally surrendering, by letting go of the walls she built around herself and her own power out of fear and insecurity, and in doing so accepts what lies beneath them. And as a result, she now controls that vast power within her, rather than having only an occasional grasp of it through anger. That’s something of a metaphor for her entire arc, really: she faces herself as much as she faces any external enemy, pushing past those walls and insecurities and fears, through that uncertainty of where she fits in a world so much vaster than the one she came of age in, and thus gains control of her abilities and strengths and self, and can use that to work toward what she has always held as most important: protecting and helping and defending and healing those she loves.

Perrin Aybara: I love his arc from the beginning through to the end of TSR. The Two Rivers arc? Absolutely gorgeous. But, like Mat, I think his arc falters a little (or, if we’re continuing with the prophecy, strays) in part, perhaps, because he almost completes some of it too early. I do like that it’s not treated as perfectly linear – that just because he’s learned leadership and come to more or less accept it in his home village doesn’t mean he’ll be 100% great at it and fully on board from here on out – but I also think the way we revisit some of those problems could be done better. 

I also just hate the Malden arc in general, because once again it makes Perrin look good (sort of) by putting Faile in the role of damsel-in-distress (not in mindset but absolutely in contrived situation) and forcibly holding her there until Perrin can finish his arc. Which detracts from the payoff of the arc itself, for me.

I’d rather have seen that done differently – there are other ways Perrin could have struggled with truly accepting leadership, and also come to throw away the axe – and perhaps slightly earlier, which would allow Perrin to make the decision regarding the wolf dream a little earlier as well, because I don’t see how he’s supposed to convincingly learn it well enough to do anything with it between now and the ending. And if he doesn’t have time to do that, why was it brought up?

All of that said, I do think his arc itself is a really interesting and sometimes understated but often beautiful one. The axe/hammer conflict that winds its way  through so much of his arc across ten books is not always subtle but it’s present like a drumbeat, a constant that illustrates the heart of the conflict at the core of who he is and who he wants to be and who he needs to be. It also ties so well into the overall salvation/destruction theme and duality. It’s an interesting way to handle a character of the general archetype Perrin represents, and I think that aspect of his arc is done very, very well. He’s not always my type of character, and there are some inconsistencies in his arc and places where the way aspects of it are accomplished that irritate me, but the overall shape of it is lovely.

[buzzdixonwriter]

From The Naked City To The Outer Limits Via Route 66

We’re gonna back into this one, so have some patience.

We’ll get there.

I’m watching a lot of old TV shows on Amazon Prime.  

Much to my delight, many (such as That Girl or The Prisoner,) are as fresh and as fun as when they first aired.

Others (looking at you, Andy Griffith Show) are better enjoyed as artifacts of their era.

A few (Perry Mason being the best example) actually take on a new resonance when seen with knowledge not available to audiences of that time.

I’m a huge fan of the original Outer Limits anthology series, with various episodes written by a wide variety of writers, including Harlan Ellison.

I’m also a huge fan of the Route 66 series, written primarily by Stirling Silliphant.  

And while I remember the old Naked City show, I very rarely watched it when it originally aired, and don’t think I ever saw it in re-runs.

But when I learned Route 66 started out as a backdoor pilot (i.e., a TV pilot filmed as an episode of an existing show) Silliphant wrote for Naked City, naturally I needed to track down that episode.

“Four Sweet Corners” turned out as less of a pilot than a proof of concept:  Two young men, drifters in modern America, travel from town to town in search of…something (even they don’t know what it is they’re really looking for, only that whatever they already found wasn’t it).  

Inspired =koff!= by Jack Kerouac’s novel On The Road, the show was supposed to be called The Searchers and star George Maharis and Bob Morris.

(Despite being well done and well received, “Four Sweet Corners” didn’t sell The Searchers and Morris’ tragic death from a cerebral hemorrhage a year later seemed to permanently put the kibosh on the idea…until Chevrolet told CBS they’d be interested in sponsoring a TV show so long as it prominently featured their redesigned Corvette and CBS asked Silliphant “Have you got anything like that?” and Silliphant said “Suuuure…there are these two guys traveling around America, driving from town to town in a brand new Chevy Corvette…” and the next thing you know Route 66 is on the air with Martin Milner sharing driving duties with Maharis [when health issues forced Maharis to drop out of the series, Glenn Corbett joined Milner as his new traveling companion].)

“Four Sweet Corners” and “Merdian”, Naked City’s own pilot episode, impressed me enough to want to watch more episodes of the show, and when I learned TV Guide once ranked "Sweet Prince of Delancey Street" as one of the 100 best TV episodes of all time, that one came next.

…and when I watched it, I was immediately struck with a sense of déjà vu.

The story is simple but effective:   To protect the other, a father (James Dunn) and son (Robert Morse, in a characteristically theatrical yet also very dramatic and gripping performance) independently confess to murdering a night watchman (the real perp is Dustin Hoffman [!] in a proto-Ratso Rizzo role).  

The episode opens with a nightmare sequence in which Morse suffers through a surreal re-creation of the crime, skulking about boxes and tables and machinery in a warehouse, climbing through windows, killing a watchman who -- when turned over -- is revealed as faceless, shooting cardboard cutouts of police by using his pointed finger as a literal gun that fires actual bullets…

…and I went, “Holy shamolley, this is Harlan Ellison’s ‘Demon With A Glass Hand’ from The Outer Limits!”

Now, I am most emphatically not saying Ellison lifted plot or characters or dialog for his script, but sunuvagun, the same visuals are there even if “Demon With A Glass Hand” uses them in an entirely different context.

"Sweet Prince of Delancey Street" first aired June 7, 1961.

Ellison at that time edited Rogue magazine in Chicago.  Desperate to get out of a bad marriage and a bad career choice., he called in favors from friends in Hollywood and came to California in 1963 (his then wife, also wanting out of Chicago, came along and agreed to divorce him once they arrived).  

In 1963 Ellison quickly sold a script to ///Ripcord///, the rights to one of his short stories to Route 66, landed a staff writer gig on Burke’s Law, and saw his Hollywood career off and running.

Always a great respecter of writing in any format or media, Ellison doubtlessly knew who Silliphant was and doubtlessly saw many shows he wrote.  He tried cracking Route 66 with original ideas and, when those didn’t sell, adapted at least two of them into short stories that he placed elsewhere.

Never shy about reworking older material, Ellison derived his core concept for “Demon With A Glass Hand” from an unfinished novel he stalled out on.  The novel called for a much broader canvas than the one Ellison pitched to The Outer Limits for “Demon With A Glass Hand”.  He also melded into the episode  references to his Earth vs. Kyba war cycle, four loosely related short stories he published in the 1950s (he later expanded on the series with collaborators).

“Demon With A Glass Hand” takes place almost entirely inside the legendary Bradbury Building in downtown Los Angeles.  Directed by Byron Haskin, the special effects artist turned director most famous for the original War Of The Worlds,  it’s an uncharacteristically moody and stylized piece, matching the nightmare sequence of "Sweet Prince of Delancey Street".

In fairness, Alex March, the director of "Sweet Prince of Delancey Street", isn’t a noted stylist either.  A good journeyman TV director with a huge list of credits, his Naked City episodes are otherwise entirely consistent with his career.

"Sweet Prince of Delancey Street" was written by another capable journeyman, Sy Salkowitz. Like March, Salkowitz enjoyed a long and honorable career, albeit without anything that indicates a particular taste for the fantastic.

As noted above, the parallels between "Sweet Prince of Delancey Street" and “Demon With A Glass Hand” are striking.  Much of The Outler Limits episode takes place in the upper storage area of the Bradbury Building, a space almost indistinguishable from the warehouse featured in Naked City’s episode.  One of the Kyba aliens, slain while hunting Robert Culp’s character, has no distinguishable features, same as the murdered watchman in "Sweet Prince of Delancey Street".  Robert Morse uses his hand as a weapon, literally firing it as a gun, and Culp’s eponymous glass hand is a super-computer that guides him in his battle against his Kyba pursuers.  The warehouse sequences in "Sweet Prince of Delancey Street" are both literally and figuratively nightmarish whether they reflect Morse’s dream or replay the actual crime; the entirety of “Demon With A Glass hand” is filled with stark black an white photography, ominous shadows, bizarre angles and stagings.

Ellison is no longer with us to ask, but he was never the type to borrow / lift / reference / steal the work of another unless he obtained permission first.

I’m guessing he saw "Sweet Prince of Delancey Street" in 1961 and liked it, but in chaos of the three years between seeing it and pitching to The Outer Limits the vivid details that originally attracted him slipped from his conscious mind.

When he pitched to The Outer Limits he sought to maximize his chances by crafting a dramatic story filled with “awe and mystery” that could be filmed economically on a small budget.

Once he literally locked his characters into a single location, he began pulling ideas in from all directions:  His abandoned novel, his Earth vs. Kyba stories, even a few visual prompts from The Naked City that he probably no longer recalled watching.

Just as two composers using the same notes come up with wildly different melodies, so Ellison and the creators working on Naked City came up with two wholly different reasons for the same imagery.

They’re fascinating to watch in tandem, and thanks to the modern marvels of technology, now we can.

  © Buzz Dixon