#tho some cases it was true they were bad people. i dont know your full story for those people so I'll leave my opinion there

[jadeneppy]

I did get ur ask but i will not answer it directly since people dont follow me for my personal affairs. If you wanna see my response its gonna be under the readmore

They gave their side of the story and i gave mine. I constantly asked for consent and now that its years later they are taking it away. Dunno how that works but while we were together i did ask before doing anything irl. If they felt really uncomfortable they could have asked me to stop at any time and i would have. As for being smug what else would i be? Its been years gabe!!! Talk to me like a normal person!!

Im not gonna be able to change your mind and of course i still feel bad but just because i feel bad doesn't mean im guilty of what they accuse me of doin! When they asked about top surgery or goin on T i always said I'd help support them, i dont know where they got that i wouldn't when its in our dms!

Im not sure what else you guys are upset about since they didn't feel the need to bring it up but i honest to god felt like me and sigs last goodbye was gonna be the end of this whole drama tho i dont wanna call it drama. We had our talk and you both blocked me without giving your reasoning, like when u first block evaded after i gave my piece, you were the one who didn't want to continue the conversation when i was willing to explain my reasoning or my side. I cant believe it took the ramblings of a high me to get u to finally send an ask tho, like i was sooo out of it and didn't even remember what i typed. Did u completely miss all my posts where i said i missed their company? I never saw sig in a bad light up until this whole thing started getting bad. Why? Cuz they always feared I'd hate them, they had multiple dreams about it and would cry.

I even now dont hold a lot of malice towards them just kinda in disbelief that they'd say these things to others before me. Before we could ever talk about it so i could at least have give them my own response. They didn't wanna give me closure but in the end i still found my own version of closure and that was to believe in the TWO people that stood by me, when everyone else turned their backs on me. Literally all of our mutual friends left me behind except for Charles and Curt!!! I am so thankful to them and my new friends for sticking with me even after you tried to take them away from me.

If stalking me is a way of coping for you then i think you should look for some healthier alternatives. It took me a while to get over them and that whole situation like for gods sake they gave me ptsd! Just up and dropping me after 7 years and with no explanation! I had to wonder for weeks/months before i got an answer and even that wasn't clear enough since everyone was withholding information from me!

You should just be happy to be with sig at this point and forget about me all together? Its what you both wanted right? After what happened with kuro and windy i didn't wanna be that type of person for sig. But just as they said i should have been the person to protect them not the one who hurt them. That chapter is done but im still allowed to remember those times and be glad that i met them.

I sure as hell know they didn't throw away any of the gifts i gave em like the figures, shirts, games and the sonic hat. You coming to tell me that i was terrible for not buying them a 300 dollar console for their birthday?? What the fuck was that. That isn't a part of being a boyfriend, was i a bad boyfriend for not getting them that? I bought them so many things so many games just because i loved them and thought they deserved to have some type of gifts, it was my love language after all. All i asked for was their love in return. The only thing i did expect them to throw away were the pictures we took together cuz i sure as hell threw em away.

I had a feeling things weren't working out and before i could say or bring up anything i got blocked. But anyways either unblock me and talk like a normal person or leave me and my friends alone. If you saw the stalker post you should have seen Charles reply too. We don't know what your motive is and honestly you aren't scaring me at all. You're an annoyance at this point go back to your lover and fuck off

I was actually thinking of getting them the console for their birthday when they first brought it up but as soon as they started saying it was the least i could do after them having to deal with me. Thats when i started getting mad, if they wanted to break up earlier they could have said so we could have just parted ways instead of them dumping me while i was sleeping and not give me a chance to speak.

[petorahs]

NICE i’m glad if you’re having fun then :] 

also it’s no prob i’m still getting used to tumblr too x_x this site is not meant to be a forum i think LMAO 

interesting! i’m just about to get into oct 4 in-game actually and i dont even remember what takaya said from my original playthrough, and it’s only been five months since then. definitely will get back to you on what i think about this then (if i even have a thought. sometimes my synapses refuse to connect when aigis on screen) 

and true! the chairman can be a goofy side-villain i don’t mind him! i, too, could not even take that entire bit seriously with how sudden it was and how little i cared for mitsu’s dad at the time. pretty much another case of sloppy execution, that i can agree. the crucifixion was funny tho

ahh yeah i can understand that! lmao thats a cute quirk if i may say so. even in fiction there’s this trope where the rich families are excessively formal with eachother, yet the love is plain as day. i never denied kirijo’s love towards mitsuru, but simply conflated outwardly-affectionate to loving. kirijo’s design is quite... intense and so is his demeanor lmao, his curtness towards mitsu also did not strike me as ‘loving’ and she seemed sad/scared at the prospect of visiting him. obviously they still loved eachother just expressed it in actions more than traditional methods like yukari and her dad. but i love that story you shared :D  

and now that i see your point in it’s fullness... that’s extremely true. the problem with strega as a whole really is just that they suffer from needing to be seen as the ‘bad guys’ objectively when the topic is so subjective :0 exactly the point you made in the initial ask. there really is no grand ideological clash between SEES and strega like how we see in p5′s antagonists (even p4, if what i’ve gather of it is true) yet i think the writers wrote it that way just so there could be a human-shaped obstacle before the real final battle. fodder, for lack of a better word (and i really do hate to use it), before nyx’s fight. 

the story of persona 3 seems to work best when there is no answer. when the original intent of “not being preachy” and leaving it vague is met, i feel. which is why the manga seems to do it well, yes i can see now :0 i should def give it a read!! (I saw like one panel where ryoji had his bangs down and almost CRIED he looks the same as minato.,.,)<-- is the biggest minato arisato fan on earth

hmmm i dont know about the s.link gameplay-story dissonance but! from here on i will keep it to the main cast’s story depictions for simplicity’s sake.

LMAOO actually i do think power of friendship was in fes too like very briefly but i cant remember it. however, more importantly, i do believe the intent of modern persona is its emphasis on the cumulative nature of the ‘bonds’ you forged rather than each individual? or rather, it’s the effort each MC put into getting to know people or going through it with their fellow teammates instead of doing things solo. it’s why akechi failed while ren succeeded, why adachi failed while yu succeeded. both of them rejected the world and insisted that they were better off without anyone in their lives. (not that i agree with what general modern persona is saying, but that’s the logic behind it). maruki’s just a whole other case i wont get into <3 he had enough goodwill to achieve godhood briefly but ig PT were built diff 

thinking about it more will make my head explode i never minded power of friendship plots myself (i grew up with naruto dattebayo). my heart gets fuzzy whenever the heroes triumph from some cheesy thing like true friendship whatever that means. it truly is. an anime moment. that i will excuse for now 

i didnt know junpei gets developed in the spin-off rhythm game :0 i just knew his dance moves were sick with it. but i see your point there! you’re looking for a slight personality change rather than different actions as development.. if i’m reading this right? then there's nothing i can really say aside from, yeah, junpei doesnt really change from beginning of the game and after much from any obvious aspect (like. i’d definitely have to be thinking hard about it to come up with one which is an indication that it was bunk from the start). 

and so doesn’t yukari. i agree! she does not undergo much of a personality change either, and i never claimed as such. she was a sweet-yet-troubled girl in the beginning and same in the end. which is why it does boggle me that p3 fans cite the “character development regression” argument for anything, without ever taking the time to understand what development it was in the first place. the way i interpreted it and highlighted in the post was her way of dealing with grief over the death of her father. the way she goes from truth-seeking, to jaded, to quietly determined. that’s literally the only crux-resolution of yukari’s character to me. 

i guess by that logic, i’ve found junpei’s ‘development’ to be his aimlessness, to finding something to protect in chidori, to finding someone to live for in their stead also in chidori. from just flying through life to living life decisively. 

to me, these characters aren’t particularly that deep, and i never claimed as such since it’s like persona, the game that juggles so many characters including 22 side ones -- it’s pretty much a given they’ll be tropey. but i can say that if there’s anything p3 did right it’s depicting different levels of grief in all its characters in some capacity, which at least matches its theming. 

and what i can say it does wrong, is not extending that same care and nuance in its villains (Aside from maruki i think), just so they can fill in the shoes of “bad guy”. 

I feel like the main problem with how Strega (Takaya and Jin, at least) are written is just about the game desperately wanting them to remain excessively unlikable until after they are defeated, which is…bizarre and unnecessary, to say the least. They are never actually doing anything of importance, so the narrative relies on "dehumanizing" them into stock villains, to give the players some reason to dislike or, at least, oppose them on a personal level, hence the lack of meaningful characterization. Jin's November comment about SEES "not having a clue what will happen if the Dark Hour disappears", impliedly being about the memory wipeout, since Takaya told them outright they would lose their powers earlier, is the perfect example of this, imo. He gets cut off mid-sentence, so he doesn't spoil it for later, naturally, but it's never brought up again, after eventually being reveled by Ryoji, because that is actually a pretty solid reason for them to antagonize the protagonists (imagine waking up on the streets, with no personal documents, feeling awfully sick and wondering why no one is looking for you!) but, again, they are yet to be defeated and not meant to come off as even remotely sympathetic until then. It's just very…unskillful writing. Sorry for the long message, btw, I initially just wanted to leave a regular comment, actually, but there's just so many words it apparently wouldn't fit in less than five separate responses 😵‍💫

yoooo thanks for the input. thats also a really good way of looking at it! the game needing to make them unlikeable pretty much explains things. it just ends up being really goofy. which is a shame because they really do have great backstories that remain largely unexplored.

Jin's November comment about SEES "not having a clue what will happen if the Dark Hour disappears", impliedly being about the memory wipeout, since Takaya told them outright they would lose their powers earlier

honestly? i never made this connection myself so thanks for telling me! i could see that being true and i'm about to hit that point in my replay game soon myself so i can look at it with this context. question is how could jin have possibly have known this info... my guess is ikutsuki could have fed them that info since he also supplied them with his suppressant drugs, plus they even knew about the Ruin thing that Nyx could have brought about. honestly, including ikutsuki the "antagonists" of p3 are an interesting bunch with how much potential they have that's not really explored but i guess thats just a hashino persona game thing.

also i just think between them and ikutsuki i def see strega having more sympathetic light being shone on them since they were the direct victims of old kirijo's depravity. out of all the kids, only they survived? your comment about them "not having any personal documents" just strikes me as so fcked up. damn. hope it changes a bit in reload.

[melody-of-lost-souls]

So I’m the anon that asked if Sakura had orphanages, thanks for the extra insight. Like I said in that ask, I had seen a lot of Sakura stans on TikTok saying that she had opened them up around the world and saying that she did it because she didn’t want other kids to end up like Naruto and Sasuke. Some said that this made up for the Sakura talking bad about Naruto being an orphan situation.

Hello! your welcome! Yeah it's from Sakura Hiden, at least in retsuden and shikamaru hiden this topic is not there. I read it very quickly -is bad written, very basic, as all the light novels are tho-

these are the fragments of the novel

--------------- "Ah, that's true." Sakura nodded as well.

At the Konoha hospital, Sakura had created a position where she was especially in charge of the mental care of children. Sakura proposed the idea to the senior officials of the hospital. Approximately two years ago, the Fourth Great Ninja World War had ended. When half a year passed after conflict, she then she presented her suggestion.

It was a great war ... Ninjas from all over gathered in an alliance to prevent the resurrection by Otsutsuki Katipoa. She was an exceedingly powerful enemy. Often they thought that they would have been drawn into the depths of despair. But nevertheless, with Naruto In the heart of the Allied Forces, they could neither break nor yield to the enemy. They had fought until the bitter end. Katipoa's aspirations were cut short.

Everyone rejoiced at the arrival of peace. The world was saved. Soon after, rebuilding began after such a large-scale battle. They were making progress by repairing damaged soil and infrastructure.

As a medical ninja, Sakura also treated a large number of injured ninja. There was also many people who suffered serious injuries. Many people visited her for treatment. Without However, all of her patients' expressions were calm and quiet. Since the war finished, it was probably because of her sense of security.

--------------

Sakura thought incidentally:

"I wonder what the children are doing ...

She thought about it while she was in the hospital. Sakura noticed Kurenai, who was hugging her daughter. As for the children who were not directly involved in the combat, perhaps they were physically unharmed. However, what about his mental condition? Since the children did not know when the war would end, their young and tender hearts were probably stressing about your situation. Children saw countries in a state of collapse, or they knew of the death of someone close to them. Perhaps they were full of wounded in their hearts and minds.

-----------

Due to the stress of the great war, there were children whose hearts and minds were wounded by the situation. There should be children who were suffering like those in Konoha. If that is the case, with the prepared infrastructure of the mental care clinic, and in addition to increasing its effectiveness in Konoha, then your work should be applicable to other villages. In how many for the other villas, it would be extremely useful for your children.

-------------

―If only the Children's Mental Health Clinic and the support room could become what Naruto is for Sasuke, for other people ... "Sakura thought.

.------

A place where anyone could come and go as they wanted, talk about anything and everything. Yes the person was bad with words, he was good too. Then the members of the room support would try to start and lead the conversation so that something, anything, could be talked about, or just wait patiently until the other party feels like she can say something. A place like that.

--------

This is the Mental Hospital she WITH INO want to open for the children with mental issues regarding the horrible war. Which yeah i found it wonderful, but Sakura -maybe INo- hasnt got any kind of skill about Psychology and never even dared to care or put some emphaty towards orphans such as Naruto, Gaara or Sasuke. The only time I remember her thinking "Maybe this is how Naruto feels" is in Road to Ninja.

For example, here if you want to apply for being volunteer to take care and play with children in a orphanage, you have to be interviewed and take a psychological test. Because you are dealing with CHILDREN.

Anyway, this hospital doesnt have the "option" to adopt children or something like that so it's far from being an orphanage. And it's not across the world either. The Sakura portrayed here is the one all of her fans desire to be but isnt because her personality is far from being this kind of person.

Could she evolve? Yeah maybe sure, but with a lot of work and development. Development we didnt see here in Naruto nor in Boruto.

And i will rant with this a bit but this really fucked me up.

-----------------

Lately how are you with Hinata? Better than me, she would listen to you carefully.

-How jealous?

Sakura returned with tremendous speed and slammed her fist into Naruto's head. Sakura with an appearance of a demon looked at Naruto who now rested his face on a rock.

-Of course not! You know I decided to wait for Sasuke-kun!

-Y… Yes ma'am.

Naruto replied still lying.

--------

What did you decide to wait for, homegirl? Because i dont get it. He rejected you almost 5 times (not only love confessions but also your flirting advances) and you "decided to wait for him!". This basically means for me, that she is gonna force him until he "falls in love" with her, because the only thing sasuke said in 699 was "until next time" and that's a quote with the meaning itachi used to give. There wasnt next time, Sasuke went on his journey. -and this "cherry blossom" decided to chase him, and get pregnant because of course she had to get uchihas dick and crest. What do you want to wait for? Did Sasuke give any foreshadowing about coming back for your love? No.

Anyway.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2

Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”

Main Chat

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE

Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.

Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”

Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY

HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY

WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY

WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER

BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO

Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.

Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.

Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE

MOSTLY

SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID

Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.

Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE

Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.

Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?

Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU

Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.

Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS

Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”

Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?

Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.

Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.

Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)

An hour later…

Main Chat

Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.

Wu Xie: guys???

Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING

IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF

Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.

Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE

Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??

I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.

Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW

STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND

ITS GONNA BE OKAY

DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS

DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS

Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.

Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY

THIS AINT ABOUT THEM

YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS

UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?

Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.

Wang Pangzi: WU XIE

TIANZHEN

PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE

Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.

Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.

Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE

WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN

Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.

Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.

Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK

Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.

Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR

I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF

Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION

Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.

Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.

Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE

YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY

Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.

Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT

Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.

Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT

THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS

ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??

At the same time…

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.

Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two

or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way

Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.

Hei Yangjing: r u kidding

he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me

Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.

Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation

Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context

I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?

The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.

[transsexualhamlet]

sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

[dear-systems]

TW/ CSA, COCSA, SA, abuse, possible internalized Something Bad But I Dont Know What, general panic, idiocy, and self doubt akdj

Hiiiii,,, can I ask some for advice/opinions/guidance for me possibly being a system? It’s a very scary thought, I don’t think I wanna be a system, not really. It’s all confusing, it’s all a lot, and idk what to do. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, sure, but like, I remember some things! I remember enough! What could’ve happened to me? I lived close to a predator that’s true, but I never slept over more than a couple nights, and I can’t remember anything they could’ve done to me, they never showed any signs. I grew up in a home, though, with a sibling of mine, and theyre… a complicated at best story. They were def preyed upon, and they also sexually assaulted me. I have blurry memories from when I was little of them playing “”games”” with me that make me wanna throw up, but they never really crossed the line into the assault like that one time. I repressed that one time soo much anyway, because I was so ashamed and horrified. It happened when I was 11. Could you even develop a dissociative disorder at age 11? And how would I remember ish and acknowledge that trauma without even KNOWING about others??? And that’s not considering the idea that I might not be traumagenic, which somehow is scarier?? It makes me mad at the world, cause I feel like I’d be even MORE hated and called fake and believe it myself. And also, that there wasn’t a reason. That I’d be going through this pain for no reason other than brain go brr, not brain go cope. Am I making sense?? I’m sorry if not, and I’m sorry if I have said/will say something offensive. I don’t wanna downplay their experiences, but also I don’t know a lot and I just. Aghh, yknow? I haven’t done too much research, cause I’m lazy and I’m scared akdhsjhfj, and most of the time I just ignore this. Until it just hits me for a couple weeks or days that this isnt normal, is it? I don’t think I really hear voices, my body is never out of my control. I always want whatever it’s doing. If I hear anything, its just in my head, and in MY voice, and it could be just like,,,, not alters yknow? Just me thoughts. I’m genderfluid, of that I am certain, I was only ever a solid gender when I didn’t feel like me. Even if there’s other people in here with me, I’m genderfluid, and none of them have ever shown interest in anyone in a romo/smexy way, just as I have. So idk what’s that about??? Different genders but same orientation? Idk. Phibi isn’t a human, and it doesn’t like calling itself by human terms, so though it too doesn’t feel attraction, technically it isn’t aroace like the rest of us. Or me. Idk man I’m confused. I have such terrible memory. That’s the worst part. One time I forgot how old I was lmao. Everything is a blur, but none of it is completely a blackout. If it ever feels empty, all I have to do is try real hard to get SOMETHING, and eventually I will, so. Eh. But it’s all so, so blurry. I can recall things I did, but it isn’t like… attached? It’s strange. It takes me a moment, like getting a file in a computer and it lagging, and it just seems so distant. Sometimes tho, it isn’t, and sometimes it is. It’s all inconsistent. That’s what really gets to me, I think. It’s hard to make out, and I suck at handling things that are hard to make out. Usually I thought I either repressed things or got over them quickly or something when I get triggered (I have PTSD oof) but today with the whole who-are-i thing when I got triggered, I was very panicky at first as usual. I was not having a good time akdjdjj, as per usual. Then I kinda became numb, dissociated, and then came to… feeling surprisingly ok? I didn’t feel like Me, of course. This is confusing. I felt like someone else. I STILL do! I feel like that person! I feel like the one that panicked is another, it’s weird to refer to us like this, I’m sorry. It’s so confusing. So that doesn’t bode well for my “oh I’m perfectly fine and a singlet” case. I still feel the closest to them, though. Everyone else is more separate. This doesn’t make sense ahdhskfj. I feel like I’m faking it. I feel like I can’t possibly be plural. (1/2)

I remember as a child feeling so sad and helpless, that I would relish in my own mind, if that makes sense. I liked the fact it was Mine, and no one could take that from me. No one could know what was inside it, not really, not unless they were a mind reader, which I chose to believe for my sanity didn’t exist akdjsj. I had full control over it. If I wanted there to be a palace with me as the sole ruling prince with a pink gown and infinite cake and toys in there, I could. If I wanted to go “home”, even when physically and logically I was there, I could. Im scared that being plural will take that from me. On one hand, it’s kinda nice. I remember Phibi once took themselves to school for me, planned to go through the whole day if a switch hadn’t happened, if I’m allowed to even use those words akfjakd. I was relieved at not having to go to school. But also. This is scary, this is strange, this is invasive, and it’s giving me far too much of an identity crisis. I just. Uh help?? Somehow?? In any way?? That would be nice tho obvs you don’t haVe to akdjskjd (2/2)

You're definitely not alone, anon, and it certainly sounds like you're a system. It is hard, to adjust, but you'll get there in time.

May I recommend having things that are exclusively yours? A blog, a spot in your innerworld if you have one, a playlist, etc. Something that is just yours.

[seoafin]

oo yeah, the stark differences in eng fics on ao3 and those that i’ve read in websites like pixiv/ weibo/ lofter/ typesetters is a high-context asian subtle/implicit intimacy vs low-context western loud/explicit intimacy (1)

tho ,, i think the setting (character + environment + time) and the prompt (au? canon? romance? slice of life? epic?) play into it. i think the differences that exist between portrayals of intimacy by east asian authors and by western authors largely stem from cultural philosophy, which could make some things jarring to those unfamiliar with either

tbh i'm the type of person who, when reading lit abt supposedly asian characters, would appreciate the story more if it was also true to the characters' culture, and so i'd also like to see them experience and understand love the same way asians experience and understand love. but that's just me (i know there are diaspora who like to see other things), and that's also for a concept that's more for peaceful romance/character-centric settings. it’d be a different case if the story is plot-driven, or historical, or apocalyptic

i personally prefer the nuance of intimacy in pieces by east asians bc that's what i like to see and what i'm familiar with. but either way, i don't mind the differences exist. it just means that there's a variety to all of our experiences. as long as it's written into the narrative in an organic manner, it will still feel like a love i can appreciate, whether romantic or platonic or anything in between.

the whiplash was intense when i opened a fic bc i was curious or bored (or both rly) and then boom, untagged daddy kink. SHSHS it makes me giggle sumtimes, since he’s a jpnese character, when it comes to gojou, bc personally i just can't imagine him calling anyone any kind of petname unless it means to fuck with them,,, like, for eg, in stsg fic i just can't vibe with gojou calling suguru anything but his name, but that's just me and largely the way i interpret their characters, and it's just nice to know that all the authors of jp/cn/kr fic i've read before feel the same way more or less ,, but that's it HSJJSJS if someone else decides they want gojou calling suguru this or that, then that's like, alright. that's what they want to write and see, yk, and there's nothing wrong with that, i'll just swerve respectfully lmao

also for pdas,, i think it definitely depends on the age of the couple and the setting

like, if they're a campus couple, pda is pretty common. handholding, picking each other up from class, study dates in the library/courtyard/cafe, going to drinking parties together, that sort of thing.

the most common petname i've heard cn campus couples use is "baobao/baobei" (寶寶/寶貝), which means precious/baby/darling. for jp couples, tbrh i've never heard anything ,, my friends and cousins don't use petnames either

honestly,,, if u're cn/jp and u're dating someone ur age or younger, u'd probs call them by their given name or a nickname with an affectionate prefix/suffix (小，阿，兒 etc or the norm ちゃん, くん, さん, 先輩/ 輩先 suffix) and ig u could call that a petname. if u're dating someone older than u, then u'd call them (insert name)-san or senpai/jie/ge if u and they want, and that would show how close u are. some ppl date and call each other by their full names, too, and even with honourifics. and some ppl use just their partner's given names.

for kr,, idk much but i think it’s usually 이,야,아 etc and noona/oppa/unni/hyung ????

for older couples, like married couples or people who are working, pda tends to lean towards petnames. "sweetheart", "honey", "wife/husband", that sort of thing. if they're parents, they'd probably call each other "dad", "mum" (I NEVER HEARD MY OWN PARENTS NAME LEAVING THEIR LIPS WHEN THEY ADDRESS THE OTHER)

but if its pda like,, making out in public, i don't think it's very common. i've never seen it shhsjsjs (arm holding can be rewarded with a stink eye from the conservatives elderly (mostly), from where i came from)

in fic, it's abt the same, which means it would depend on the age/setting/couple's preference with the addition of the author's preference which just,,, uh shows , ig

but then again,, pls cmiiw if anyone else knows more

altho i’m a “respect is earned” type of person ,, when it comes to (conservative) elders, it will just fly out of the window,,, the repercussions....just no 🥰 some of them are so fucking petty and are hellbent to teach u a lesson, its actually embarassing

back when the yo mama jokes were still popular and 24/7 circulating in the internet,, me and some friends were 😃😃 like yall can say this and get away with it? when daylight arrive after i crack this kind of joke in front of my relatives, my mom is done scheduling for my cremation date

even if i dont intend it to mean disrespect in some convos,, the damage is done and my parents would straight up be like : “wtf did u just say? try repeating it once more and lets see if u can still sleep under a roof today.” either that or they’ll smack me before saying it ,, whichever could come first depending on their mood 🥴

my relatives wont ever missed if i ever forgot to address them when we meet or during a phonecall by a simple “uncle/ aunt/ grandfather/ grandmother” (usually my grandfather is the one so uptight abt it 💀) and it will end up into a short lecture abt “young kids these days..../ u havent forgot to eat yet u forgot what respect is?/ ur parents are fine ppl but what happen to u”

cue my mother glaring at me or giving the stink eye like @/&/&2@22 most of the times i’m distracted by sth and just spaced out while organising it in my head b4 it could get out of hand ,,, that and the titles i’ve used for each relative is different and i’m afraid to mixed it up bc again...stink eye ,,, like my father’s younger/ older brother and younger/ older sister and cousins + its another different handful of titles when it comes to my mother’s family 😔 - 🐱 (2)

yes!!!! there’s a lot of reasons why i enjoy stsg fics and it’s because gojo and geto are always treated like people in stsg fics.....i’ve found that in a lot of reader insert fics you could replace gojo and geto with the male lead of those mafia boss stories on wattpad and it wouldn’t make a difference LMAO gojo and geto are often caricatures of themselves and it’s just something i’m personally not interested in.

also....i feel like there’s so much intimacy in how someone calls/says your name that just using pet names 24/7 gives it this superficial sense that i’m not really a fan of but then again, in fwb stories i totally understand.

another thing, I really feel like culture DOES play into it. obviously as asian people ourselves who come from a collectivist culture, our idea of love is different from the western concept of love. i feel like this especially comes into play when we see reader insert stories where the MC is super op and strong just so they can “match” gojo and gojo doesn’t need to worry about them even though it’s not even needed!! in asian cultures it’s not a burden to take care of people. it’s love. and i feel like western people don’t quite grasp that bc it’s such an individualist culture (this is a not nuanced at all / a generalization but u get the point)

yeah full on pda in fics always gets me because in japan???? lmao no honey!!! although gojo would definitely do it, not every character would LOL

gojo would pet names as a joke aka ironically, but i just don’t see him doing it seriously unless it's dear or smt

my mom is so big on respect. she always gets into fights abt with my brother and it’s a generational difference tbh but i digress, it’s not like it’s bad to be polite to your elders, but I do think koreans can take it too far to the point where it’s detrimental!!

[who-ever-said-i-was-nice]

Mtach up thing please! <3

Female, INFJ-T, Sagittarius. 155cm (tiny potato, just dont smash it on my face or I will get insecure)I would never, brown eyes, long light brown hair, pale with freckless. Average-skinny. Wear glasses for study/work which is basically 24/7 same and have some tattoos here and there.

I think Im more of an ambivert but more close to the introvert side. I’m smiley but still people tend to tell me that they thought I was rude (or directly a bitch) highly doubt it they just jealous but found out I’m not that bad, guess that’s on bitch resting face :( nope :) better. Socially awkward but after I get comfortable I fool around a lot, memes and vine references give me life. I tend to do the opposite of what I’ve been told just because I don’t like it when people order me things.pffff can relate Tho I’m shy I will not hesitate to step up if someone is being rude with someone specially if is towards a friend or someone close to me. I try to be very caring and supportive for anything you will need but also empathic, I cry if someone cries kjdfhgk but try to hold it together so I can help and not make feel worse the other person you seem very nice pls be my friend

I’m sensitive, I get stressed and anxious easily and for that I constantly have headaches and stomach ache,noooooo :( I have a whole self-care routine to help me with that or else I will, without a doubt ,get sick. I don’t like places that are too crowded or very loud noises, it makes me nervous. I’m your “will cry if gets too anxious” person. yup you are to innocent and cute to be my friend I’m either “Mama bear” scary or “will murder you in your sleep” scary.....I’m just a marshmallow tho

I like reading welcome to the bookworm club, learning random things. I love art in general, music, painting, dancing, etc. I love animals too! All of them, cats, dogs, birds, frogs, please let them all in(but my weak spot are cats, I cant deny it). I’m vegan, try to make it the most healthy possible (eating well, taking vitamin D and B12 to not die that was funnier than all of my jokes combined i died ). Sugar is my passion and my minimum 4 tsp of sugar per coffee knows it(this is where the I eAt HeAlThYy goes to hell xD damn right lmao, you still healthier then me). When it comes to music I like a bit of everything, I will be listening alternative rock or metal and then jump to kpop, tho I’ve been into chill lofi lately, specially when is mix of a series or movie cause nostalgia hits hard and I’m into that shit kjhjk I also have a playlist of Disney, anime or movie songs/soundtracks because it helps me to study or work more motivated, your girl needs motivation to not stare into space for 1 hour straight,kjkiijjioh same tho Im quite disperse, I always forget where I put things and then blame the goblins for that, but it turns out, it was on my hand all the time lollol

I study art online, I want to be a concept or background artist for animation, I used to study animation on a university but dropped because the pressure was too much and never could get along with the university itself, every week was a fight about something (Im not problematic I swear, I try to be the most chill out-care free possible but I swear the system is horrible here :( )yeah it happens sucks that you had to go through it. I’m also learning complimentary therapies! (I think that’s how it is on english) Reiki, tarot, pendulum, past lifes and such, Im into esoterical/”mystical” things.

For hobbies I do embroidery, sewing, read, stare into space for 1 hour and yoga (this is part of the self care routine to not die).

My favorite season is autumn or early spring, I dont handle too hot weather or the sun well, I like winter and rainy days but then I get so cold that I invernate on bed the whole day.

For relationships I think communication is key, I know is not easy but is the only way to make it work :( and cuddles, please cuddle me and pet my head, I will be on your palms if you scratch my head. I can be very touchy, like holding hands and hugs but I dont like it if someone who is not a very close friend or my partner does it, I just dont know how to react or do kfdhlk I prefer my personal space untouched :(  Im so sorry it was so long!! I wanted to do it very detailed but sHoRt to not make you think so hard with who match up me but maybe tmi is just the opposite for you, if so Im truly sorry! :( I think you are an angel just for trying to match up me with someone <3 ahhh, yes, the matchup (take a shot for everytime i said match up on this paragraph game) for ikevamp please! <3

4 shots huh.Ahahahahhahhhahahhahahhhah...... Don’t worry about the length. The longer the better right. Right? I’m nasty I’ll stop. Also yes I went through it and left little notes within the text. Why, because I’m cool. Hopefully. One day. Anyway!

I matched you with...............

                                        .......................ISAAC!!!!!

My sweet baby angel little boy

Isaac is very,very shy so it took him some time to warm up to you

but that does not mean that he didn’t like you

oh no no no

on the contrary

Isaac died every single time you passed him

he didn’t understand how someone could be so perfect

you took his breath away

him not being the tales man actually liked that you were shorter then him

you see, because men are supposed t be tall and strong and all that crap, plus being around Leo, who scores a 10 in all of those, made him quite insecure about his, well, actually everything

the way he talked, or rather didn’t, his height, that fact that he wasn’t jacked like some of the guys in the mansion, or, you know, at least in his mind

he isn’t exactly the fighter type either

he’s a scientist after all, not a worrier

and this made him feel like he didn’t deserve you, because he couldn’t protect you

 oh my, sweetheart no

you on the other hand, think he is amazing

I mean not all people know all the constellations name and position by heart, nor can they carve amazingly cute wooden toys and decorations, nor are the university professores and just so happen to be an absolute physics geniuses so yeah

both of you being quite reserved, it took you ages to get together

but when you did it was the most amazing thing ever

he confessed to you one night while you where stargazing

it went a little something like this:

You: Thank you for bringing me out. It’s so beautiful!

Isaac: Yes. Like you.

You: *eyes emoji*

Isaac takes your hand, blushes hard, and even though he wanted to look into your eyes he couldn’t bring himself to, in fear of loosing himself in them

“Y/n ever since I first laid eyes on you I knew that I needed you in my life. You make me feel so comfortable by the just being here with me. You are funny, lighthearted and so welcoming and accepting. I love when you sit next to me in the library, I love it when we stargaze, I love how you ask me oh so many questions. How you are so eager to learn everything. Yet you are so quiet and shy. It’s amazing really. and in those moments I fell like I love it even more. The comfortable silence we can both sit in. The look we share, were we somehow always know what the other is thinking without even asking. I love your hair falls and frames your face perfectly. Those adorable freckles are driving me mad you know? Your petite features always astound me. So small yet so pretty. How is it even possible? However I don’t expect you to reciprocate my feelings. It doesn’t matter how much I adore you, I can’t protect you. I am not what a man is supposed to be. I’m not strong and tough Y/n, I’m just a scientist. However I felt the need to tell you this. To tell you my true feeling. I love you Y/N. I really do.”

Isaac sat there with tears streaming down his face

he couldn’t look at you

he just waited for the rejection to slap him in the face

however it didn’t come

you cupped his wet cheek gently and he looked up to see your tear stained face

you slowly pull him towards you and kiss him

it was so gentle and full of love

you pulled away tears still pouring down your faces

however these weren’t tears of sadness, but of joy

you both laughed as Isaac pulled you into a hug

well.....

i may or may not be crying writing this

yes I definitely am that is totally the case

anywhoo

after this it is smooth sailing

cutest couple ever

And that is it! Sorry if this is lame and it literally took forever. Thank you for the request though.! Have an amazing day and be safe!

[theropoda]

3, 4, 6-8, 11, 13-17, 19-22, 26-30 uwu

WOO LAD THAT’S A LOT THANK U!!! this got long and i wrote an essay or two LOL so im putting it under a readmore!

3: Best game you’ve ever played? WEEEELLLL.......let me preface this with two things: one, i am a FAKE GAMER as in my laptop is not at all made for gaming, it’s piss poor, so a big chunk of games i’m interested in is because i watched a playthrough of them lol. i have a 3ds but only 3 games on it (animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, nintedogs & cats). second, i’m very bad at choosing favorites of things.....BUUUUT .....i choooooose, in no particular order, OFF, pigeonetics, elder scrolls oblivion, pathologic classic HD!! i’m more than likely forgetting a few though, so sorry about that

4: Worst game you’ve ever played? as i said above, cannot choose favorites, neither can i choose whatever the opposite of favorites is but...uhh, does lif even count as a game? like lif, the stupid little furry flash game i remember playing on some shady website. it was surprisingly very active with a BUNCH of people there but i kept dying like every 5 seconds....AWFUL

6: A game that’s changed you the most? WELL define Changed.....ummm aha first thing that comes to mind is OFF. it’s one of those things where you never knew you wanted something so fucking bad until you saw it--and it’s like that for me. i NEVER knew i loved that odd, surreal, colorful, “looks playful and simple in some parts but incredibly violent and unnerving in other parts” aesthetic til i played it. like aesthetically i love that game to BITS and something about it just stuck with me til the end of time.

later in life (meaning, past year or so) it changed me because it taught me a lesson about storytelling and creative endeavors. a very useful lesson. which is: things don’t really need to have a meaning. stories, art, music, writing, whatnot, while it CAN be deep and meaningful, while you CAN use it as a way to communicate with the world about all kinds of heartfelt things, it can also be...nothing, really.

once i, as usual, got ridiculously overwhelmingly sad about small things. specifically seeing other people around me come up with all kinds of deep and meaningful characters and stories, sometimes putting them into webcomics or writings of theirs, and they were all so well-thought out and detailed and what i envied most was people put a lot of themselves and their experiences into them, venting and coping through them, whilst also making these larger-than-life grandiose complex stories and worlds and so on and so forth.

it made me look at my own ideas and get mad/frustrated at how shallow they were. but then i remembered OFF and i felt better because Fun Fact, mortis ghost has a now-abandoned dA account and if you go through the comment section on his profile, he answers a lot of fan questions and he mentions several times that the game didn’t really have a “meaning”, it didn’t really have a “deeper story” or moral or anything, really. i’m paraphrasing this but i vividly remember him saying “i wanted to make a game, so i did”.

that made me feel a lot better because it made me realise that sometimes art--especially stories, in my case-- doesn’t NEED to be DEEP or have MEANING...sometimes it can just BE!!!! sometimes it really can just be all about AESTHETICS like who GIVES a shit if there’s a hidden meaning if you take the first letter of all of your characters’ names and put them backwards, sometimes all that matters is if they just VIBE with you y’know....

yume nikki is similar in this regard bc that game doesn’t have any story other than “collect egg” and yet it’s so impactful. that game doesn’t have a story or meaning it just IS........ :) GOD THATS SO LONG IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but yeah. funny violent ghostbusting baseball man is a game that changed me :)

7: A game you’ll never forget? OFF AGAIN LOL,,, it’s just so memorable because of how unique it is. visuals, soundtrack, story, everything is so memorable. unforgettable. oh god you can tell how much i love this damn game can’t you

8: Best soundtrack? yakuza 0, OFF, there is a picture (another game by mortis ghost, again composed by alias conrad coldwood who also composed OFF), pigeonetics (the entire soundtrack of which is here), jojo’s bizarre adventure all star battle and eyes of heaven, silent hill 2 & 3, undertale....probably forgetting more but all of these...earcandy

11: Hardest game you’ve played? i am a shitty gamer so this is Most games i’ve played lol!! but uhh..well you see. hardest game i remember playing as of recent is pathologic classic hd in which it’s...not only hard to understand what any character is saying at any given time lol but also, i don’t think it’s HARD it’s just...you need to focus. you REALLY need to fucking focus and pay attention in this game. so i wouldn’t say its HARD, but i’m only putting this here bc it’s in recent memory.

i say recent memory because the true answer is susceptible to “yeah, but now you’re older, it must not be so hard.” as in if i played it now i think i’d have a way easier time. but when i was around....10-12 years old i had several ps3 video game adaptations of animated movies and i had SUCH a fucking hard time with them. g-force, bolt and up in particular were fucking HARD. like genuinely, the hardest time i had EVER had in my live playing video games is tied to these three fucking games. g-force and bolt ESPECIALLY. one particular level in bolt took both me AND my sister around a year to fucking finish.

again, i was baby, so i bet i’d have a much easier time with them now that i’m 17. but for now, in my experience, bolt and g-force for the ps3 were harder than pathologic classic. i think icepick lodge should take a few notes for them for pathologic 2.

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? STREETS OF KAMUROCHO...i spent the entire day of its release anticipating its launch lol

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? hmm..most games i like and know about do have voice acting so i dunno....i guess it would’ve been kind of cool if morrowind had like, full proper voice acting. but i can understand why it only voice acted things like greetings and battle insults because GOD that game is SO...complicated...and as a result, the conversations are so lengthy and text-full. playing morrowind is really like a goddamn book! if it was voice acted i’m sure all that information would have to be shortened bc i know no one is going to fucking voice act two whole paragraphs

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? pigeonetics and yakuza in which instead of being about the criminal underworld it’s about shady and unethical pigeon clubs, breeding, racing, etc etc...a lot of illegal shit does happen in the world of pigeons especially when it comes to racing; prized racers have been kidnapped and held for ransom before. and then there’s Avian Cucking: The Sport, where people breed the sexiest pigeons (horseman thief pouters), release them outside to seduce other people’s sexy pigeons, and bring them back and keep ‘em, drama ensues. will kiryu ever escape his past as a professional pigeon-napper, and find solace in his new life as a pigeon hobbyist? find out now by playing YACOOZA......

JOKES ASIDES i don’t know i really don’t....umm, pigeonetics and animal crossing somehow?? :O... like, instead of managing your own town it’s managing your own loft!...orrrr, the jojo games (all star battle & eyes of heaven) with yakuza, because i think they’re somewhat similar because they’re both haha Wacky Silly AND serious over the top fighty-fighting.....or maybe a crossover with OFF and discover my body, which, despite being an incredibly short and obscure indie game i still love to bits for what it’s worth. WAIT ANIMAL CROSSING AND MINECRAFT THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD OH MY GOD

16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game? i can’t think of any character i like, HATE...with a burning passion.. there are a few i dislike or have a complicated relationship with though.. i’m not interested in the series anymore but ouma from drv3...i’ll admit that he is a bit fun sometimes, especially in the very early beginning he’s a likeable brat but as the game progresses he becomes more irritating than anything and i have an issue with him in regards to writing, despite the fact that i have never been awake in any english class ever lol. it’s too long to put in this already long post but i’ll keep it at that. if you like him, well, good for you for finding joy in something i couldn’t! but he just doesn’t do it for me.

AH I JUST REMEMBERED....MINE......FROM YAKUZA 3....maybe i’d change my mind if i watched a playthrough of y3 again, because i think you always absorb something better on your second watch (tho i honestly Dont have the energy to do that all over again, the yakuza games are too fucking long), but i really hate his writing. spoilers for y3 but, i think mine’s writing, alongside other things in the game, were super messy...and a big part of why i hate him is that not only is he one of those “could’ve had great potential but fell flat” sorta guys but also his love for daigo is seen as some fans as good gay rep and i?????/.............um....WELL let’s just say that, i think people nowadays will see any gay character ever in any circumstance and say it’s good gay rep just based off the fact that A Gay Character exists....he was Not, good gay rep imo....he was not, let alone, Good. .........

17: What game do you never tell people you play? can’t think of any games i wouldn’t tell people i play.. idk exactly what this question’s asking. does it mean what game you don’t tell ppl you play bc you’re embarrassed about it...? i’m not very embarrassed by any of them. the only thing that comes close, i guess, is uhh lioden and wolvden. i’ve only interacted with those communities a LITTLE TINY WEE BIT, yet of what i’ve seen it’s a goddamn dumpster fire and i’d never want to be associated with them lol

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival? i’m well aware it’ll never happen and that it’s more a wet dream than anything but...PT/silent hills..... on a more realistic/”could happen” note, PIGEONETICS!!!! SERIOUSLY, it’s an amazing game about amazing animals and it teaches genetics in a very simplified and efficient way!! genetics is SO hard for me to understand, i fucking hated studying it but this game really helped me understand how it works AND its super engaging and interesting!! HOWEVER, of all the pigeon genes we know of, only a handful were seen in pigeonetics and i’d LOVE a sequel that employs new game mechanics AND new genes!! i wanna learn about bronze and stencil genes! i wanna learn about phenotypes like grizzled and pied!!! genes like sooty and dirty!!! @ UNIVERSITY OF UTAH GENETICS DEPARTMENT PLEASE IM BEGIGNG YOU

20: What was the first video game you ever played? earliest memories of Gaming involves me at my aunt’s house playing two games: super mario brothers and some kind of trapeze game. i don’t remember anything else though

21: How old were you when you first played a video game? i can’t remember but i must’ve been REAL tiny.... 6-9 years, maybe??

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? immerse myself meaning go into their world...? huh....on one hand i’d like to go in the world of yakuza 0 to play in the arcades and do whore related activities but i’d also love to go into the world of animal crossing (and i’m pretty sure i’d be some sort of generic dromaeosaurid in that game!!) and shop, chat with villagers, do chores for them, go fishing, bug hunting, eat delicious fucking food like the apples mangos peaches cherries etc etc.....OH AND FOSSIL HUNTING THAT’S THE BEST PART!! though it would definetly be a little weird, to be a little dinosaur and finding a fossil of a...little dinosaur....i guess the non-sentient species went extinct and the dinosaur i am is some kind of, descendant of a sapient non-avian dinosaur that survived the k-pg extinction event...oh but who cares all i want is a cool little ambulocetus fossil or something. and some cherry pie :)

26: Handheld or console? my old ps3 just went kaput one day years ago so i haven’t used it in years so i can’t compare well... but i’d say handheld, because it lets me like DO stuff more...would love to get a console one day, a ps4 maybe but i’m kinda worried it’ll make me stay in one room all day wasting away my time when there’s other stuff i can do, y’know? but something handheld like my 3ds, on the other hand...i can do stuff with it. i can take it to my room and play it between breaks i take as i clean the room and fold my clothes, i can watch something on the tv and play the game during ad breaks, i can take it outside too if it has charge to last me a while! so....handheld i guess

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? yakuza 0 and undertale in particular have ALMOST made me fucking bawl with many of its moments....yakuza 0 especially, after that Fucking Ending i had trouble sleeping because oh my fucking god. video game people SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28: Which character’s clothes do you wish you owned the most?

29:  Which is more important, gameplay or story? HMMM....well, if i were to play a game with a shitty story but really good and fun gameplay i’d probably continue playing it for the gameplay. but if i played a game with shitty gameplay but an interesting story, there is a chance i’d play it more for the sake of the story but also i might just quite and see the rest of the story on youtube or something. i’m more likely to go through a boring story for fun gameplay than go through boring gameplay for an interesting story, so i guess gameplay is more important to me....that is, WHEN i actually own and play a game as opposed to when i just watch someone play a game because i don’t own the game but wanna know abt the story lol

30: A game that hasn’t been localized in your country that you think should be localized? i have no idea how video game localization really works....but i assume localizing a game in india would mean something like, removing content according to cultural norm and also somehow translating it into the 22 official languages..? or just two or three language if it’s tied to a particular state, which seems way more doable. i honestly have no idea? i’ve never interacted w the indian gaming community that much to be honest, all i know of it is of the video games i’ve seen sold in some game stores and a few whispers about like solid snake or whoever from my school’s cafeteria....the most popular games here, to my knowledge, are those very streamable games like fortnite and PUBG and your call of duties and whatnot. those generic shooters. and even then, that honestly isn’t the “indian” gaming community bc this country is so FUCKHUGE, it’s just tamil nadu. one state.

soooo, according to what little i know of gaming interests in where i live, i don’t think any of the games i like should be localized here bc i don’t really think there’s an audience for it as far as i can tell :( maybe animal crossing? it’s a fun little games for all ages and i think it has a chance of becoming popular here, so maybe that is worth a shot! but i can’t think of any other game that i like that really has an audience here (other than Me lol)

[ninaahelvar]

Chivalry Fell On Its Sword (11/23)

Summary: All Arya wanted so to feel normal and go outside of the damn castle. Now, through a series of unfortunate, she’s stuck with a bodyguard that she accidentally flirted with: Gendry Waters.

AO3

A/N: WEDDINGS ARE A GREAT PLACE FOR DISASTER, DIDN'T YOU HEAR?? 👀👀👀👀

TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 

7:30am - Sansa: you guys….i look amazing 

7:31am - Jon: k? 

7:31am - Sansa: bitch dont ‘k’ me, i am a delight 

7:32am - Bran: your personality tho…

7:32am - Bran: 

7:34am - Arya: what if i said i look amazing

7:34am - Rickon: rare. Suspiciously optimistic. Must be true. 

7:35am - Robb: agree with the above sentiment

7:35am - Bran:  i believe her 

7:36am - Arya: i’m also wearing what sansa is wearing, so we’re both equally beautiful, now compliment the eldest daughter before i murder everyone

7:36am - Arya:  including you robb, don’t think I’ll go easy on you just cause you’re getting married 

 *~*~*

 7:40am - Sansa: 😘

7:40am - Arya: 😘

Arya threw her phone aside as she tried to think of shoes that she could get away with. The heels were a pale blue colour, but the height of them frightened her more than any other heel she was challenged with in her life. She’d be about Rickon’s height in them, which felt like a lot when she stood in front of her mirror. She knew she wasn’t tall, but the heels made it obvious that she was like a stunted idiot. 

But their height was going to be the give away that she wasn’t wearing said torture devices. Pulling the strap onto the back of her ankle, she stood with the cascading silk running over her body, and from once she thought of herself as a woman masquerading in the beauty, it had now become her - for that how she always saw herself. Her make up had been done that morning alongside Sansa, the two sisters chatting over coffee that was fuelling their lucidity. They were excited for the coming day. 

Arya and Sansa had come up with a code around others when regarding Gendry. If they wanted to keep Arya’s happiness a secret for a little while longer, he was referred to as Joe. He was Arya’s boyfriend, and that she was seeing that day, he was going to the wedding, but he wouldn’t be able to stay long. 

From the information Arya gathered before the two were separated, was that Sansa’s boyfriend wasn’t attending at all. Arya knew that was a lie because Theon was one of the best men. Maybe it was because he was forced to attend, not just being her date. Made sense to Arya. 

Then, Arya got changed. She slipped into the dress and was left to get her things in order. There were still a few hours between then and when the wedding was meant to start. The girls had gotten up early due to the excitement. It was the first time one of their siblings was getting married and it was exhilarating. 

Overall, she just wanted to see Gendry. 

Since the dress fitting, it felt like the two months flew by without a breath in between. It took away most of her free time with the planning and helping out where she could. So, less time for Gendry, less kisses and all around job. But they found some spare moments to hide away and enjoy the seconds they could spend with one another. 

It meant everything to her that he dropped just about everything to be by her side. 

Well, given that every time she messaged him, she said it was an emergency, and he came running - it meant he was doing his job correctly. But still, she loved watching his face fall from horror to joy when she stood coyly at a cupboard door. 

Arya sent a text. SOS. 

Gendry replied, asking to meet her round side of the palace. 

She knew his spot.

Picking up the ends of her skirt, she went racing down the steps, a smile pinned into her face and there wasn’t any use trying to hide it.

 *~*~*

 Gendry had shrunk away to the side, making sure that his position wasn’t compromised in his absence. It would only be for a few minutes. He just needed a second. With the wedding and everything, it became harder and harder to fulfill his role as personal bodyguard, as he was subjected to be an everything sorta guy. He was on perimeter, for the palace and the churches venue. It wasn’t far off the palace grounds, as a Stark wedding needed to be close to the Godswood for part of the ceremonies purposes. Gendry wasn’t subjected to know what any of that would entail.

So, for the short time, he allowed himself to smoke, to set the edge off and allow himself to relax. It wouldn’t be long before Arya got there, and sneaking one in wouldn’t hurt. She kept getting mad at him for the sudden habit, but it had been something he had tried to stop since he started his job. It was an old army thing that he hadn’t quite shaken - it just helped with nerves that wouldn’t shake loose. 

“I thought we agreed that the smoking was going to stop,” he heard a voice nearby. He turned, seeing a radiant visage in front of him. He had never thought Arya could look anymore beautiful than when she was in that ball gown all those months ago, but she had just kept stunning him every day. That day, in that dress, she was like a walking goddess, someone that had stepped out from heaven to grant him some form of miracle. 

“You look beautiful,” he said, cigarette still in between his lips. Arya walked the distance between them, taking the cigarette out, letting it drop to the floor and he lifted his heel to stamp it out instead of her heels. 

She grinned before she replied. “I know.” 

“You’re gonna be amazing today,” he said, reaching over to her, taking hold of her waist as he fell back against the wall. From his positon, they were nearly the same height, though Arya was still a few inches from him. Arya’s arms went up and around the back of his neck, falling into his easily. 

“You think so? All I’m really doing is standing around looking pretty,” she 

“You’re already doing it, so you’re gonna nail this,” 

“Shut up,” she said, sneaking into his space and kissing him. Gendry sighed as her lips touched his. 

The crawling sensation that ran up his spine made him feel queasy, that he needed to grab hold of the gun on his hip. Something was wrong but he couldn’t work out what. He pulled away from Arya, holding onto her hips tightly as his forehead rested against hers. “Hey, is something bothering you? I feel like somethings off?” 

“No? I feel fine,” Arya shrugged. Gendry couldn’t shake it, like something was in the air that clung to bad energy. Arya sighed, hand running up the back of his neck and fingers lacing into his hair, “come here,” she said, and before he could ask, her lips were on his again, more fully and deepening like she meant for it to lead back to her room. He couldn’t argue with that. Hands roaming around the back of her waist, he pulled her flush against her, hand sliding down her back and finding the round softness of her ass. “You nervous now?” she asked, pulling away. A need tugged at the pit of his stomach. 

“I’m going to lie and say no, because I want you to kiss me again,” he replied with a smirk.

“Your wish is granted,” she smiled before pulling him down once more. He guessed he was right - he was definitely there to grant him some form of miracle. 

 *~*~*

 As 9:30am came around, Gendry was in personal bodyguard role. They had to make a royal entrance, the church on the property, but in order to feel more open with the public - it was the first televised wedding, with almost full access to the people, after all. So, they were to do a full, formal parade out of the palace grounds before re-entering and welcoming all the guests. 

Gendry rode in Arya and Sansa’s car, the windows wide and the ability to see inside made Gendry’s stomach ache from all the possibilities. It didn’t matter though, as they continued on, waving to the people of the nearby town. Gendry even saw his mum out, waving frantically to his car. He smiled before returning to his concern. Overall, the entire thing went off without a hitch.

For Northern weddings, everything was different to what Gendry knew in the South. Regardless of family members part in the wedding, they needed to greet the bride or groom as a formed pack. Everything was about unity, especially family - the introduction of a new member was fital to the survival. There had been times in the past where Northerners wouldn’t attend their siblings wedding, as a sign of disrespect and ill-trust of the one entering the family. 

That wouldn’t be the case on that day. 

Each guard took their respective person down the aisle of the church. Robb was waiting alongside Jon, then it was Sansa and Sandor, then Arya and Gendry, followed by Bran and Pod, then finally Rickon and Osha. 

Robb was dressed in his military uniform, a bright red coat with a bright blue sash over his chest. Over his shoulders sat a traditional wolf pelt, synthetic fur as times changed, that all Starks wore - each gifted one when they were born and would use on certain occasions - marriage, birthdays, coronations, and finally when they were laid to rest. It was morbid, sure, but the North was built on traditions.

Along the way, Robb was making a grimacing face, the two sisters looking at each other before Sansa gestured to the side. From the corner of his eye, he saw the person that, under any other circumstance would have the girls screaming in joy, but they contained themselves. 

Arya reached into the pocket of her dress and quickly typed out something. His phone went off a moment later with the notification. Gendry checked, and rolled his eyes. 

The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: IS FUCKING RICHARD MADDEN AT THE WEDDING?!?! IRGHWORIGOWR GUYS SOMEONE GET A SCREENSHOT I’M GONNA FUCKING DIE

Gendry pocketed his phone in his breast pocket once more, leaning down to Arya. “Stop tweeting about Richard Madden,” he whispered. Arya scoffed, putting her phone away and stopping as Sansa kneeled before Robb. 

“He’s right there, Gendry! How am I not meant to -” 

“We get it, he looks like your brother, but you have to admit, Maisie Williams looks a hell of a lot like you,” he reminded. 

“She wishes she looked like me,” she scowled, before moving off and Gendry moved to the wall. He had to stay there for the entire ceremony, unless he felt like Arya’s life was in danger. Any moment he was with her, his mind raced with that possibility, but he was on extra alert in case someone got ballsy for the occasion. 

His hands behind his back, he watched Arya stand next to her sister and brothers, the perfect line of Starks, authority ranging down the line. From his attention on Arya, Gendry heard a giggling close by and a cocky scoff at his side. Rolling his eyes, Gendry jabbed his elbow into Podrick’s side. 

“Please stop making eyes at the other royals here,” Gendry groaned under his breath. Pod shifted beside Gendry, turning to him as he rubbed at his side. 

“Not like they’d touch you with a ten foot pole,” Osha replied nearby and Gendry held in a laugh that desperately wanted to come out. Podrick straightened out and moved back to his original position to look at Bran in his chair. After the accident, it seemed like he became a little more reckless than before - wheeling himself back and balancing there, much to Rickon’s delight. 

“You’d be surprised how they want to touch me,” Pod said and both Gendry and Osha groaned in disgust. 

“God I wish I could use this gun on you and then myself,” Osha said, adjusting her uniform. Gendry always found that Osha didn’t like being a bodyguard - not for royalty anyway - she found the strictness of it all to be too confining, and dispised most of the people around her. She only really cared about Rickon, which got her in good graces with the King and Queen. 

“We’re not allowed to use our guns for personal use,” Podrick reminded.

“I don’t think that’s what they mean,” Gendry said, then poked his head out to see Osha,  “but he is right.” 

“Not like I’d ever get any repercussions for it,” she countered. 

Gendry raised his brow in surprise, nodding as he realised she was right too. “Stop making it seem like a fun idea.” He shook his head at it. 

She scoffed, fixing up her knotted bun when Rickon waved to her. “It is when Pod’s around.” 

It wasn’t long before music started to play, heads turned to the open doors, and the hundreds of people at the gates turned from average cheering to deafening wails of joy. Gendry took one look at Robb, who had to remain facing the opposite way, smile to himself. Jon leaned over, whispering something to him. It only made Robb laugh. 

Gendry wondered, in a very selfish way, if on his wedding day it would be like that, to be a spectacle in front of many, but joy filling him regardless of the attention. He would just be happy that Arya would be walking towards him, in whatever she would feel comfortable in, a beautiful and elegant woman that blew him away with every passing second. 

He hadn’t realised it when it was running through his mind, that marrying would entail Arya, and only Arya. It was selfish, and quite possibly cocky, but as he looked at her, her cheeks plump with rosy delight, he didn’t care. Gendry wanted to marry Arya Stark, the third in line for the throne, but her title meant nothing to him. It was just her. 

When she walked down, the voices and heads kept a good view of Talisa, but when she came into his line of sight, Gendry felt like Robb was a very lucky man. She was the perfect vision of a waiting bride and future royal all in one. 

Talisa wore a white dress with grey finishings, leaves and vines scattering the skirt, with the bodice resembling that of holding the whole garment together. It was something that a forgein bride would wear, as wolves were customary in the northern designs. What Talisa wore was exotic, regal, and the tiara that sat upon her head was wrapping vines meeting at the jewel - held together by two opposing wolves. It was the only wolf attire that she wore. 

In all, she looked like she were transitioning to a Stark, a slow and gradual way, though many of the royals considered her family already. Ygritte followed behind, flowers in hand as the bridesmaid. She forced a smile, seemingly uncomfortable with being a spectacle, but soon, she went to her place as a bridesmaid as Talisa went to next stage in her progress into becoming a Stark. 

At the foot of the alter, the Stark children greeted Talisa. A hand to the left side of the chest, a vow to love with all their hearts and welcoming her to the pack. They would kiss her cheek on either side and bow before going to their seat. Bran was unable to bow, per say, so instead, he let his head fall, to which Talisa kissed at his crown. When he looked back up to her, a bright smile, like one that he had been ashamed to show, came out in full force. 

Arya, who looked like she wanted to embrace Talisa more than just give her a sign of respect, beamed a smile and whispered something to her future sister in law. As Arya went to her spot beside Ygritte, followed soon after by Sansa. Jon was even given a moment of respect from Talisa before she was met by the King and Queen. King Ned had regained most of his mobility, but occasionally required a cane to help him around. On this day, he looked like a mighty King, proud and regal as any other healthy king. To that, Talisa knelt all the way to the floor, her dress fanning out, her head bowed to them as they rested hands on either shoulder, speaking good wishes upon her marriage. Then, as they departed for their seats, it was finally time for Robb to see his wife to be. 

When he turned, Gendry understood the joy, a smile breaking out onto Robb’s lips that captivated his entire face, making the wrinkles around his eyes even more pronounced. He chuckled as he saw her, and she did the same, their dignities lost to the joy they felt coming together in a union they had decided upon.  

The ceremony was as dragging as any other wedding Gendry had been to - they weren’t as exciting as others made them out to be. Yet, the intriguing part was a portion of the ceremony that was seen by only the bride and groom, their priest, and gods - to take place in the Godswood. From what Gendry remembered, it was very important that the Godswood was respected, as it would bless the couple with good fortune, children, and health throughout their marriage. He wasn’t sure what was said, but when they had returned, they held hands, bound together with a red ribbon, keeping their union together. 

The interesting part for Gendry was now, Talisa wore Robb’s cloak. It hung off her shoulders in a heavy garment, but she didn’t seem to mind. She still looked like she belonged amongst the family that stood before him. 

They exchanged a kiss for the public and cheers were heard roaring from beyond the church’s walls. Gendry smirked, joining in on the gathering applause for the newly wed. 

As the royals left the church, Gendry and the other guards all took stations to make sure they were secure as they made their way to the palace. It wasn’t a long journey by any means, but it was to be safe nevertheless. Once instead, they all moved to the top balcony, one in which the people waiting at the gates could see. Gendry waited inside the palace, keeping an eye on everyone as they passed through. Arya gave him a wink as she went through the doors and he smiled to himself. 

Then, as Robb and Talisa made their way onto the balcony, the people roared to life once more, celebrating the married couple. They kissed and embraced without restraint. It wasn’t common for royalty to be outwardly affectionate to the public, but they were - they couldn’t help themselves. Gendry knew, if he lived a different life, he’d always be seen with Arya, giving her every ounce of affection he had to offer her. 

Coming in from the balcony, the royal family were gathered, arranging when and where everyone was needed for coming photoshoots. Arya snuck to the pack of people alongside Gendry, hiding them from sight, and finally having a moment alone. In a split second between worry and longing, he reached down between them. Gendry held her hand, winding his fingers with hers in the depths of the crowd. In his mind, Gendry was hyper aware that people were around, but in the chaos of a loving day, he didn’t care. He wanted to hold hands with the princess that was his girlfriend. He wanted to love her as freely in public as in private. Looking up to him, fingers tightening around his own, her smile told him that she was feeling the same. 

The commotion of a coming opportunity to act like idiots the family was used to doing, Arya bound towards her siblings, and Gendry was whisked around to keep an eye on them all from the sidelines. With predictions on course, all the Stark siblings climbed over each other, posing with Talisa who joined in on the joy of being an idiot amongst idiots. When they decided they all had to climb on top of Bran’s wheelchair, Catelyn finally chimed in and got them to behave. 

After taking formal photos, they gathered downstairs in the ballroom for the guests that had arrived from nations far and wide. In the midst of the night, Gendry watched Sansa and Arya scream and pounce on a foreign Queen, who did the same when she saw the sisters. They laughed and joked before a brooding man hovered over the Queen’s shoulder. Gendry thought he was a bodyguard until he smiled to the sisters and Gendry was set at ease. He recognised the man. 

Khal Drogo.

 *~*~*

 In spite of knowing he was arriving for the wedding, Arya was knocked completely for a loop when Drogo hovered over Dany’s shoulder, then broke into a giant smile. 

“My little princesses!” he yelled, accent thick and broad, gathering Arya and Sansa into his arms and picking them effortlessly off the floor. He held them tight and hugged them with all the force his arms could muster. Setting them down, he focused on Arya first. “You’ve grown! Tiny angry one even fits in dresses,” he said, he flicked her nose when she pouted. “My fire cracker, how are you? Still ruling world?” he asked Sansa, raising his brow and making her laugh.

“Always,” she nodded, regaining composure and raising her chin. Drogo nudged the edge of her chin and she laughed again. 

“Tiny angry, still kicking ass?” he asked, leaning down to her. She punched into his shoulder, making him stand up straight again.

“Always.” She smirked. 

“Perfect. Love strong women,” he said, his english stunted, but passion was true to form as he looked at Dany with a fondness that none of her other boyfriends had ever shown her, “now! The wine!” he called. When there was little response, he began to chant. “Wine! Wine! Wine! Wine!” 

“Khal!” Everyone turned to see Arya’s father almost charging across the room. 

“Ned! You half dead bastard, come here!” he yelled, Drogo picking up Ned just as briskly as he had picked up the petite women before. 

“Sorry, he doesn’t always know when to be quiet,” Dany laughed. 

“I’m sure,” Arya smirked. 

“You’re gross,” Dany scolded, and Arya couldn’t remove the smile from her lips.  

“Tell me I’m wrong,” she shrugged, and Dany shut her mouth quickly, a bright pink hue illuminating on her cheeks, “that’s what I thought.” Dany broke into a laugh, moving the distance between them and kissing Arya’s cheek, doing the same to Sansa. 

“It was lovely seeing you. I have to go rangle a giant man from killing your father.”  Her brow quirked and the girls laughed as they watched Dany almost racing over to their father and Drogo, who quickly tucked her underneath his arm and kissing at her crown. The admiration he held for her was so clear - a love that was so deeply rooted that neither of them could explain how it sprung about, but it was sprouting before they could question its origins.

During the rest of the afternoon and night, the family and guests gathered for dinner, and celebrated a true Northern feast. Arya would occasionally catch sight of Gendry who seemed confused by the feast, the one long table that made people jump up and walk around with food in palm. To him, it must have been strange, but it was everything that Arya had grown to know as fact over the years. 

When Robb and Talisa asked everyone back to the ballroom, the true party started, as the dance was a waltz for a short time, before the drinking brought everyone to their feet and dancing like the awful dancers they all were. Drogo showed off his amazing skills, as well as scaring half the elders of the Northern council. 

Romantic moments left Arya and Sansa sighing wistfully, pining for men they couldn’t be publicly seen with. Though, Arya wasn’t sure why Sansa hadn’t taken her relationship with Theon to the streets; he was a Lord afterall, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Arya, on the other hand, had to get through Gendry’s job and well...her mother, in order to go public. 

Arya, for the most part was happy with her happiness, for now at least. 

With drunks everywhere, Arya feeling a little tipsy herself, had been socialising amongst royals, lords, and friends that had been coming to such events for years. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw large arms flagging her down, waving wildly in her direction. Part of her thought it was Gendry, only to be met with a stumbling Drogo, moving towards her. 

“Tiny angry one, come here,” he said, a half drunk daze. Arya crept over to him, his arm over her shoulder as he whispered to her, “would you like to know secret?” 

“Yes,” she smiled, beaming up to him.

“I can speak your language perfectly, I’ve been faking it for years,” he said, a grin of a man that was proud of his accomplishments. All forms of drunk behaviour faded away. Arya stared up at him in shock.

“What? Why haven’t you said anything?”

“Because no one...will ever believe you,” he said, pulling away slowly, grinning to her, and maintaining eye contact.

“You sick son of a bitch,” Arya spat. When she was about to accost him for being an absolute prick all these years, when they both saw Dany waving him over. 

“Khal! Come here!” she called, and he smirked, wandering over like he had done to Arya not a moment before.

“I come moon of my life!” he said.

“I will expose you!” Arya shouted, Drogo turned with an exaggerated shrug. 

“I know not what that means!” he said, laughing as he raced over to Dany. 

All night, she realised, she had been watching Drogo and Dany; the love that they gave without hesitation, unbridled affection that never seemed to end - it was their first public outing, and yet, there wasn’t an ounce of fear among them. It made Arya jealous.  

Glancing around, she saw Gendry whisper to Pod, who nod and let Arya’s bodyguard walk away. Sneaking off to follow him, she watched as he had rounded a corner out the back, and lit a cigarette. Before he could get anything from it, Arya stepped into his line of sight, and spoke. 

“You shouldn’t sneak away,” she said, and Gendry snapped his attention to her like he had that morning, a bright smile forming on his face. Arya, once again, walked the distance between them and dropped the cigarette to the floor. “And you know smoking makes me want to kiss you less,” she reminded. She expected Gendry to huff out of the loss of his secret habit, but instead, he slid his arms around her waist and pulled her into him.

“Sorry. I promise I’ll stop,” he said, forehead resting against her own.

“You should. Otherwise you won’t be able to get to do this,” Arya’s voice trailed off into a whisper before she shoved him hard back against the wall and forced her lips to his. Gendry gave into it easily, giving as much as he got in return, hands tightening into her waist before they slid down her back, fumbling with her dress, riding it up her leg. Every trace of his fingers on her skin was electrifying for her, sending her into a frenzy to get more of him in such a short kiss. 

Gendry pulled away, though Arya had doubts that he truly wanted to do that. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this in public,” he panted, hand still firm in her ass. She didn’t care, the way his other hand raked up her dress was enough to have her eager for more. Pulling on his collar, she urged him off. 

“Then, take us somewhere private,” she said, kissing him again, teeth nipping at her lip as she deepened it the way she wanted. Why did he have to be the way he was? It drove her nuts, that she needed to be under his clothes and have him be with her, bare and free of everything that gave them names. Naked, alone together, in a bed that would only hold the two of them for a short time; they weren’t a princess and her bodyguard, they were just two people that loved one another without hesitation. 

“Arry,” Gendry panted, and Arya whined. 

“Gendry, move your ass.” 

“Get here,” he snarled, tugging her up from the ground, holding her bridal style with ease. She squeaked as she fell into his arms, and he smiled. “Can’t have a princess walking around with those tender ankles,” he teased out their forthcoming lie if they needed it.

“You’re an idiot,” she said, kissing him before he took them to her room. 

She had doubts that when they arrived, the passion and tension between them would still be firing, until they got there and the time lapsed was like nothing. Gendry put her back on her feet and kissed her as feverishly as she had outside. They scrambled over her room, tripping over themselves before landing at her chest of drawers. Gendry dug around in her draw, getting one of the remaining condoms and took his cock from his trousers. It took little prompting to have Arya up on the drawers and Gendry adjusting her underwear to the side, as he stole a heated kiss, he drove into her, making her pull away and moan with all the air left in her chest.

They were desperate for friction, for the other to just reach their end before they eventually caved. It was always a challenge with them, one that they both thrived on. Caring was a hopeless affair, as she clawed at Gendry’s back, panting as he made her chest of drawers rattle with the force of each thrust. With their bodies coming together, they kissed one another, breaking apart the moans that would have definitely kept the room a fountain of nonstop sex noises. 

But they didn’t care, as their lust out won them both, colliding together until they were panting for more. Arya came apart first, nails clutched into the back of Gendry’s neck as she held back her moan with lip between teeth. Gendry snapped his hips to hers in one final motion before he stilled for a few moments, breathing in hard puffs before his fingers came loose, no longer binding into her with desperation, but held her in affection, love, care. All wrapped up into their silent moment of breathing together. 

“I love you,” she panted, cheek resting on his shoulder before he cupped her cheek and stared into her eyes. 

Gendry kissed her over and over again, whispering words that made her heart flutter more than the sex did. “I love you too.”  

Everything else didn’t matter. 

It was only them. 

That’s all that mattered. 

In that moment, anyway. 

 *

 Arya sat down at the table for family breakfast, head and thighs aching. Everyone, including Robb and Talisa, were slumped in their seats, nursing coffees in silence in an attempt to quiet the pounding drums in their heads. The table was loaded with eggs, toast, fruit and cereals, everything you could want first thing in the morning, but Arya's stomach called for carbs, anything that could absorb whatever alcohol was left in her system. Either she was still swimming in it or she was still riding the high from last night, regardless, her body was barely functioning and she has never been more grateful for the closed curtains around the room.

Robb and Talisa sat opposite Arya - they were set to leave for their honeymoon the day after next, as Talisa wanted to go to a medical conference, but the date of the wedding had already been set. Not one to argue with his fiance, now wife, Robb agreed and they planned their honeymoon around Talisa’s wishes. It warmed Arya’s heart, but also made her want to throw up with how cute they were acting with one another over breakfast. Maybe that was the hangover still speaking, but she couldn’t have been sure. 

Rickon had been tossing his cereal over and over again, a grim look on his face 

Arya’s phone started to go off to everyone’s annoyance. 

“Family breakfast, Arya! No phones,” Jon groaned, head down on the table, Ygritte patting his back, and eating her breakfast like it was no problem. She drank Jon under the table like it was nothing. She matched with Drogo once, but the Starks hadn’t known her then - probably one of the reasons Jon loved her so much. 

“Sorry, it’s the twitter account. I left it on after Richard Madden hugged Robb last night,” Arya said with a mouthful of bread. 

“Did you post about it?” Robb groaned and Talisa giggled, remembering it just as clearly as Arya and Sansa had.

Sansa laughed, tossing over her eggs once more before putting the bacon between her teeth. “You should see how much people are freaking out.” 

“You sure Robb doesn’t have a twin,” Rickon asked, the family turning to Ned and Catelyn. Ned grinned over his coffee, and Catelyn groaned. 

“I gave birth to him, so yes, I’m sure, now eat your breakfast. And turn off your phone, Arya.” 

Arya nodded, putting her phone on silent, seeing the first notifications roll over her screen, and her curiosity was taken.

@wetbreadoffical: is this deadass???? #gendrya

@wetbreadoffical: @TheRoyalMemeFamily are yall forreal???

@wetbreadofficial: the clouds have parted, the sun shines through and princess arya has found love on this beautiful day

@aryastanstark: @TheRoyalMemeFamily OIEBDFOIERWG THIS CANNOT BE REAL, RIGHT?! @AryaStark @GendryWaters

@gendryaisreal: @TheRoyalMemeFamily WE FUCKING WON! We stand legends only 

@brekkersgendryl: @TheRoyalMemeFamily ARE MY FUCKING FAVES REALLY? We thrivin

@brekkersgendryl: if people are really trying to start shit like he’s doing this cause she’s royal never saw him at that event, himbo was all heart eyes SKJSJSHDB

@wetbreadofficial: u know when u remember that princess arya has found love and u just :')))

Arya’s brow furrowed as she tried to click on links, hand going over her mouth as she saw the headline. It was the worst thing she could have read that day. It couldn’t have been real. Could it? Maybe she was still dreaming? Fuck, this was bad. 

Putting the Body in Bodyguard

Under the headline were scattered photos from over months, secret moments that Arya thought were for only her and Gendry. The last few that were shown were ones that her mother would gasp at - Gendry groping into her backside, his hands hiking up her dress, him carrying her off to the palace. 

The article could have said a million things, saying all they wanted about Arya, all they wanted about Gendry, but it was too late - the world knew. 

Panic set over her entire body, and she couldn’t breathe suddenly, like her vision became tunnelled and everything around her meant nothing but the article that sat in front of her. 

Something had been off for months, and they both knew, and did nothing. 

Gendry. 

“No no no no no,” she muttered to herself, the chorus of her family’s voice asking if she’s alright.

“Arya, what is it?” her mother asked, Sansa leaning over to her to see the article.

“Shit,” she swore as Sansa mumbled the same sentiment. “shit!” Arya said, combing her hands through her hair. Arya shoved herself away from the table, pocketing her phone as Sansa got hers out, sending around the article. She watched as her siblings went tight lipped, and immediately sympathise with her. There wasn’t judgement, just worry. They all felt it. The urge of panic that came with this part of their lives. 

Her mother snapped at her. “Arya, please watch your -” 

“I have to go,” Arya yelled back, running out of breakfast and trying to remember the winding halls of her home. In the end, she just ran wherever her feet would fucking take her. 

 *

 TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 

9:26am - Jon: Gendry and Arya?

9:26am - Sansa: Please keep up

9:27am - Robb: ...but the newspaper have just….

9:27am - Sansa: hence her freak out, KEEP UP!

9:28am - Jon: wait you knew?

9:29am - Bran: everyone knew, stupid 

9:29am - Rickon: even I knew, and I don’t get told anything 

9:30am - Sansa: you know what this means 

9:30am - Jon: please dont

9:31am - Sansa: You know nothing Jon Snow

9:31am - Rickon: You know nothing Jon Snow

9:32am - Robb: You know nothing Jon Snow

9:32am - Bran: You know nothing Jon Snow

9:34am - Jon: fuck you guys

9:45am - Jon: arya not replying isn’t a good sign is it?

9:41am - Sansa: no it isn’t

9:41am - Sansa: high alert, starks. High alert 

 *

 By the time all of her hiding places were searched and gone up in smoke, she pasted by the security offices, seeing the commotion of those around. In a split moment between wondering if she should ask them, she turned to see Brienne with Gendry on her heels. He looked like a mess, his uniform out of order, tie tugged almost completely out of its knot, and his hair was far from professional looking. 

Arya’s stomach twisted. 

She ran to him regardless. 

“Gendry!” she said, latching her hand onto his wrist, trying to pry him from the situation. 

“Not now,” he grumbled, pulling her hand from his arm. She tugged on him again, making everyone come to full stop. 

“Please don’t shut me out,” she whispered, her hands touching at his face, making him look at her. His eyes were dark - they lost their spark. He wasn’t the Gendry she knew anymore. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.” 

“Arya,” Brienne started, “please move away from Gendry.” 

“Brienne, this isn’t -” 

“Princess!” Brienne raised he voice, and for the first time ever, Arya jumped at the sound of it. “Move, please,” she asked once more, and Arya stepped back. Gendry looked forward 

“Arya, come here,” a voice asked behind her. Looking over her shoulder, she saw her mother, a scowl written into her features. 

“I’ll wait right here for you,” she said, looking back to Gendry, trying to reach for him. In the second where they could, he reached back towards her, fingers lingering on hers before it faded from her skin. 

“Arry, just go with your mum,” he said, and turned to go with the rest of the security officers. 

“Arya, come here right now,” her mother warned, and Arya swallowed, watching the door slam and everything had changed for them. Turning to her mother, it was clear that whatever was going to happen, Arya was in for an earful. Dread set in. 

They were taken to her mother’s office, and as she sat on the side of the desk, Arya craved her father’s presence. Did he even want to look at her after thought pictures? He had to have seen them if her mother had. He was the king, everyone told the king every small detail of people’s lives, especially his children. Gods, the look her mother was giving her in that moment made Arya truly want to be sick. 

Sansa sat next to Arya, holding onto her hand with all the force a supportive sister could muster in her palm. It didn’t lessen Arya’s nerves. 

“You’ve made a spectacle of our entire family,” Catelyn huffed, folding her arms after she turned her computer screen towards the sisters. “on the day of your brother’s wedding.” Of course the day half of the pictures were taken would rattle her mother - taking away from the future king was awful according to her mother. 

Arya shouldn’t have thought that, they were both frustrated, and her mum was just taking aim at what was already gaining the family attention. 

“I’m not going to be judged for the company I keep,” Arya said, trying to sound defiant, but all she could think of was the look on Gendry’s face. He looked so broken. 

“He is not company! He is here doing a job, and you two decided to jeopardise that for some flirtatious behaviour,” Catelyn snapped, her hand going to her forehead. 

“Mum, I don’t think you can call it that. I think it’s more than -” 

Sighing, she looked to her eldest daughter. “Sansa, you’re in an equal amount of trouble for keeping this from me.” 

Sansa stood up to her mother, something she rarely did. Walking to the desk, Sansa planted her hands on the hardwood and stared down their mum. “Why should I tell you when Arya loves someone? It’s not like she ever did that to me. It’s a personal matter, and it was hers to figure out on her own! I’m not going to make her feel like falling in love is against royal protocol.” 

“Falling in love with her bodyguard is against protocol.” 

“Whose? Did you make a law that Arya falling in love with whoever she wanted to was wrong?” Sansa snarled, anger billowing high. “Mum, I know you don’t mean to, but Arya isn’t a lady. She’s never been that way, and controlling her is like controlling the wind. You’re causing more harm to her than you are mending anything. If you made it -” 

“Sansa, it’s ok.” Arya interrupted, her voice so weak, she was afraid it wasn’t going to come out. 

Wither hands in her lap, she picked at her skin, wishing that her heart would stop hammering away in her ribcage, but it was too late for that. Swallowing down fear, looking up at her mother and wondering if she could still love her after all of this. She hoped she would. 

“Mum, all I did was fall in love. Sure, I didn't mean for it to happen, and I sure as hell wish it wasn't my bodyguard, but only because of his job. If he wasn't my bodyguard and we had met differently, I can tell you right fucking now, I’d feel exactly the same. And he’s still doing his job of protecting me. It's not like it's stopped him, to be honest he's somehow even better than before! 

He's my best friend. And my boyfriend. And the love of my life. Neither of us planned it and we sure as hell fought it, because we were scared. Not of being in love, I have never been scared of being in love. But we know the risks, Mum. I'm not an idiot and neither is. I'm scared of your reactions and the public's reactions, but mostly I'm scared of losing him and it being my family's fault.”

“Arya,” she started before she sighed, and relaxed back into her chair, annoyance running over her. “I wish you would have told me. So I could prepare myself for the mess that has come.” 

Arya scowled, watching as her mum reached over her desk, planning something out - that she was going to repair this somehow. “Was I always going to be a mess in your eyes?” 

Catelyn sighed again. “That wasn’t what I meant.” 

“I know what you meant. But you never have seen me as perfect. You’ve always seen me as something you should fix,” Arya shot back. 

“Arya, please don’t twist my words.” 

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Arya waited, to which Catelyn opened her mouth to defend herself. It closed quickly and Arya scoffed. “You can’t though, because what do you do every day? You check to see if I’m the perfect little princess, scowling when I’m not. I’m just Princess Arya, the girl that fights, the girl that runs away from home and talks with the people. I’m just me.” 

“I know you are,” Catelyn said, reaching out over her desk for Arya’s hand. 

She ignored it. “Then why does it feel like you hate me?” 

“Arya, I -” 

“I need to find Gendry,” Arya said, getting up and walking out of her mother’s office. The feeling in her chest was a hollow one, spite winning over her in a moment of pain. 

Racing back to the bodyguard offices, she waited for only a few minutes before Gendry came out, he looked worse than when he went in, but in complexion only - a different man than she had ever known. 

“There you are!” Arya said, going to his side, but Gendry walked as if she wasn’t even there. She pursed her lips and followed after him. 

“Arya, go back to your parents, I need to get out of here,” Gendry said, tugging on his tie until it came loose and he took it off, shoving it into his pocket and trying to find something in his other pockets. 

“What’s wrong? Talk to me,” Arya asked, walking beside him as he finally got his phone. 

“Take a fucking guess what the problem is,” he snapped, looking at the screen of his phone, stopping as he read something. He went pale and Arya felt her heart spasm. Gods, this wasn’t happening. She was downright scared. Arya was never scared. 

“We can figure this out. It’s going to be hard at first, but I promise it’ll be worth it,” Arya tried, but as Gendry looked to her, she knew something was so far gone, that the rage that had built within him was going to tear him apart. Or worse. 

“You don’t get it, Arya! You are constantly in the spotlight, and now so am I, and my mum too. We aren’t like you, we don’t have people protecting us from danger! We’re going to get harassed, and there’s nothing we can do.” 

“Gendry, we’ll work it out, just -” 

“No! I’m not doing this,” he shouted, and Arya held her breath, binding his fists. 

“Doing what?” 

Gendry looked over her face, scattering for the words. “I’m not...We’re not…” 

“Don’t.” She stopped him, heart pounding in her chest. “I know what you’re doing and think about this,” she warned him.

“I have. I have to think about my family.”

“I could be your family!” she shouted back, moving into his space, trying to hold his hands. He didn’t truly know what she was asking of him. 

Gendry stepped back, pulling away. “Don’t make me choose between you and my mum, Arya,” he said, voice soft. 

“I’m not!” she begged. It was the last one that would come out of her lips. 

The look in his eyes told her enough, the words that would tear them apart were close, but she knew he’d never say them. He’d break her heart more easily than that. 

“I'm sorry, Arya.” Gendry walked away, slow and hurt, no pride or dignity in the way he moved. 

“Coward!” she yelled. Gendry stopped for a moment before he continued off. Arya didn’t mean it. She was just scared. And she knew, that whenever he walked away from her, her heart was going to break. 

Above it all, Arya never thought she’d die of a broken heart, but now it seemed all the more real. 

Gendry broke her heart, and she’d never be the same again.

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[sosa-sketch]

Fright or Flight: Chapter 2

Parings: Prinxiety // Logicality // Platonic LAMP

Story Summary: Virgil and Patton investigate the New Prince Castle, when a brutal accident kills Patton. Patton wakes as a ghost and meets friendly ghoul Roman, who has been haunting the castle for 20 years. Virgil is determined to bring Patton back to life and brings Logan, the ghost expert, to help him out. Time is quickly running out, and the four must work together to undo death. If only it was as simple as Logan made it sound.

Unknown to them, a secret entity in the castle does not plan on letting them succeed.

Previous Chapter   Next Chapter 

When Patton first met Virgil, his last intention was to become friends with him. Virgil had built up a notorious reputation over the first few months of school, and his grades did nothing to disprove his status. Patton wasn’t the type to judge a person’s character based on rumors nor looks. No one was a higher believer in the benefit of doubt than Patton! However, Virgil’s first impression did not help his case.

Virgil transferred into Patton’s English class the second semester due to a schedule change. When the teacher stated a new team project was to be completed, Patton did not shy away from offering to be Virgil’s partner. He understood how difficult it could be being the new kid in a class full of friends and cliques.

The project was hefty, an collection of novel analyzing, essays, vocabulary, and journal entries. Patton was not looking forward to the Shakespearean project-Shakespeare’s language was alien to him. It occurred to Patton that pairing up with the soon-to-be-dropout may not have been his best idea. Nonetheless, Patton refused to be jaded.

The first day of the project, Virgil refused to touch the work.

“There’s no way I’m touching this project.” Virgil sneered. “Especially about Shakespeare.”

“Huh?” Patton had not fully processed Virgil’s words. “Is it because you don’t understand it?”

“Sure.”

“Neither can I! I guess Shakespeare really has our brains shaken up! Maybe we can ask the teacher to go over it for us?”

The teen huffed and shook his head. Virgil laid his head on the wooden desk and his eyes slipped closed. He napped for the rest of the period.

His behavior continued for weeks. Patton had tried everything in his power to get Virgil to help him out. Patton’s seemingly endless supply of compliments and encouraging gestures served no help.

Patton’s mind had conjured countless excuses for Virgil since Virgil himself refused to give one. At the beginning the excuses had seemed feasible. Lack of sleep? Family issues? However, by week three, Patton was already scraping the bottom of the barrel, trying to justify Virgil’s dismissive attitude with clones and possible mind control. Virgil was no closer to lifting up a pencil, there were ten days left of the project, and Patton still understood little to nothing about Shakespeare. Patton was flying solo and time was ticking.

The final week before the project was due, Patton caught the flu.

Patton would chalk up the flu to the top three sucky sicknesses of his lifetime. His fever was raging, his skin drowning in sweat while the insides of him iced over. Patton couldn’t tell when being awake ended and when sleep began. The only alarm in Patton’s body was the churning in his gut that rushed him to the toilet.

Understandably, the project was the last thing on his mind.

Patton would not remember his Shakespeare mission until the Sunday before it was due, when he was shaking off the final remnants of the flu. The realization hit him like a train, but by the time he went flying off his bed and hurriedly logging on to his computer to check the time, Patton knew it was hopeless. There was no way he could get the project done in a few hours and counting. Not when all his energy was going into fighting of sneezes and headaches.

Patton was dejectedly scrolling through his email filled with newsletters from adoption sites and animal protection agencies when a subject line caught his eye: “English Project.” Linked to the email were word documents and an audio file. Perplexedly, Patton opened the email.

To: patpetspups@gmail.com

From: killjoy_2001@icloud.com

Subject: English Project

Patton,

so apparently you’ve been sick. class is way more quiet without you their, which is wierd.

i think i did everything you hadn’t done. it’s gonna be really mispelled and confusing and shit. sorry. i’m not the best with righting. feel free to fix anything.

get well soon.

-V

p.s. sorry for acting like a jerk. i owe you a explanation monday.

Patton hugged his computer screen and laugh with relief. He had no idea why Virgil was so nervous. His ideas were brilliant. A week later, Patton would see an A in his gradebook for the Shakespeare project.

There was a reason why Patton never lost faith in people.

True to his word, the next week Virgil explained his mistreatment to Patton. Virgil struggled with dyslexia. While he was getting tutoring in overcoming his learning disability, Virgil’s writing made him incredibly insecure. His old teacher always let him work individually, but the new teacher wasn’t having it. Before class, the teacher pulled him aside and told Virgil he was no different from any other student and would have to work with a partner. Virgil, determined to spite the teacher and anxious to seem like an “idiot” in front of Patton, would pretend to sleep the whole period.

“All your writing took was a quick grammar fix. The ideas were so good! I’m not just saying that to say that, they actually were! I could never think of something like that.” Patton reassured enthusiastically.

Virgil flushed a bright red. “I didn’t do much. Shakespeare is a lot easier to understand with audio.”

Patton listened to the audiobook of Macbeth that night. Virgil clearly wasn’t giving himself enough credit.

Virgil and Patton quickly grew close once the project was done. Virgil was still quiet, snappy, moody, and detrimentally insecure, but he began to open up more as the months went on. By senior year, Patton and Virgil was joined at the hip. Two peas in a pod.

Virgil had grown a lot since freshman year.

Being joined at the hip with Virgil meant that Patton got to understand Virgil by the simplest change in body language or expression. It also meant that Patton became aquatinted with anyone close to Virgil.

Patton already had a bad feeling while Virgil’s tone had shifted on the phone the night they were chatting about yearbook quotes. Remy sending Patton a text only confirmed the ball of dread in his stomach.

Rem: pat can we talk ?

Patton: You don’t even have to ask! Everything ok?

Rem: it’s about v

Rem: have you guys talked recently ? out of school

Patton: We talked last weekend. Over the phone. Why? Is Virgil fine??

Rem: idk. he came over to my house a couple nights ago at like 5 am. talked about some ghost shit.

Patton: He woke you up to talk about ghosts??(language!)

Rem: looking for affirmation that he wasn’t some obsessed ghost freak. i told him nah

Rem: but tbh he kinda is obsessed

Patton: He is passionate about his ghosts! But that’s not a bad thing.

Rem: v strongly disagrees. the whole thing about the yearbook and ghost quotes really messed with his head

Patton: I didn’t mean anything bad by it! It was just an idea! I promise! I’ll apologize to him!!!

Rem: wait no thats not what im saying. no one blames u

Rem: is he doing any ghost stuff anytime soon

Patton: Yep. He’s going to visit a castle!

Patton: Is that bad?

Rem: don’t you remember last time v became paranoid abt something? he pulled some real stupid stuff just to prove ppl wrong

Patton: Yeah. I know.

Patton: Gosh now I’m worried :(

Rem: i just dont want him doing anything he’ll regret on the trip. can u just…idk watch out for him pls ? ik v can take care of himself. but sometimes he gets into this headspace that’s self-destructive

Rem: tbh i dont like his ghost stuff as it is. i dont need him doing something dumb either

Patton: I understand Rem. That’s really sweet of you <3 <3

Patton: I’ll look out for him! I promise!!!! :-) :-)

Rem: ty. dont tell v abt this convo tho

Despite feeling uneasy about it, Patton understood Remy’s request to keep silent. Telling Virgil about their conversation would only push Virgil away and make him defensive. It’d be impossible to look out for him.

Virgil had already given Patton a way in. Patton had to talk to Logan for Virgil and get any supplies he might need. Patton loved visiting Logan in and of itself. Maybe Logan could help him out.

Logan’s business was located near small shops clustered along the beach. It was a hotspot for tourists, where knickknacks and souvenirs were sold and expensive attractions were advertised. Patton walked along here with Virgil sometimes, stopping at the arcade or mirror maze. Patton had met some of the most interesting people in the small touristy town.

Among the attractions was a dark blue shingled building with a pointy-roofed top. Painted letters on a wooden board spelt out “Afterlife Exposed.” Patton stepped through the door and a bell gently ringed, signaling his arrival.

At the sound of the bell, a tall, dark-haired man turned around. His navy suit blended in with the darkness of the shop. The man’s lean body was captivated beautifully in the suit. Patton quickly averted his eyes, blushing furiously.

“I have been expecting you-oh. Greetings, Patton. What a surprise.”

“Hi Logan!” Patton waved enthusiastically. “Who were you expecting?”

“No one. It’s a new rule Father has implemented. I must say it to every customer to ‘set the mood,’ as he calls it.” Logan dragged his hand over his face exasperatedly. “I find it quite ridiculous. But business shall be business.”

Logan’s father technically owned Afterlife Exposed. But he was always hidden in the back, gathering supplies or experimenting. Logan was currently studying entrepreneurship in college in order to take over the family business someday.

“How may I help you today, Patton?” Logan inquired, stepping around the counter to stand in front of him. He was even taller up close.

Patton filled Logan in about the New Prince Castle family murder and Virgil’s plan to investigate the castle for one of his ghost routines. Logan nodded politely the whole way through.

“I see. What an intriguing case. What exactly does he need from me?”

Patton shrugged cluelessly. “Anything you think might help, I guess.”

“What’s his budget?”

“A coffee and cake pop from Starbucks, if he uses his gift card.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “And he sent you to purchase something from here? Why, he couldn’t even afford a keychain.”

“Come on, Logan! He’s one of your most loyal customers and between us, he’s going through a rough patch. Can’t you help him out? Please?”

Logan massaged his temples and sighed. “Patton, it’s just not something the business can afford to do right now. My Father and I have been dealing with a sort of rough patch as well. You and Virgil have my sincerest apologies-truly, you do.”

Patton nodded dejectedly, “I understand.” Spotting Logan’s hesitant expression and tense form, he rested a hand on Logan’s shoulder and grinned. “Really, I do. I don’t blame you.”

Logan gave a small, tight-lipped smile in return. Gently shaking Patton’s hand off his shoulder, he clasped his hands together tightly. “Well, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“I’m not too sure.” Patton pursed his lips in thought. “Well, actually. I was wondering if you could tell me the dos and don’ts of ghost hunting. The yays and nays. The cats and dogs-actually no scratch that, both of those would be a yay.”

“With all due respect, Patton, I think Virgil has got that covered.” Logan reassured. “He must have asked me a dozen times prior to his first investigation.”

“Oh yeah, I know. It’s for me.” Patton corrected.

Logan raised an eyebrow in perplexion. Patton had never shown an interest in ghost hunting when Virgil wasn’t to be found.

Patton thought quickly. “I just want to understand more. For when I talk to Virgil. Sometimes I really don’t get half the explanations coming from the kiddo’s mouth.” It wasn’t a lie. “Just…how do you deal with ghosts?

“I see.” Logan clicked his tongue. “I’m sure Virgil could explain it to you more in depth. But, if you’re ever in doubt, chalk it up to one thing: respect. Is what you’re doing respecting the afterlife and their home? Are you portraying common courtesy? Treat them with the same respect as the living, if not more. There are exceptions, as with anything, but for the most part, that should keep you out of trouble with spirits.”

“Respect.” Patton repeated.

“You have strong morals, Patton. If you’re concerned about involvement with the afterlife due to your closeness with Virgil, I would not worry. Lack of respect is the last of your weaknesses.”

Logan pulled out his phone from the back of his pocket. “I apologize, I must return to my work. However, if you or Virgil have any more questions, feel free to give me a call.”

Patton gushed and thanked Logan, jotting down his number. Logan flushed a gentle red and held out his hand for a handshake.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Patton.”

Patton swatted Logan’s hand away and brought him in for a hug. “Thank you, Logan.”

Logan awkwardly pat Patton on the back before ungracefully untangling himself from the embrace. “I was only doing my job. Now, I understand it’s none of my business, but I recommend getting some rest. You look exhausted.”

“High school has permanently carved bags under my eyes.” Patton shook his head defeatedly.

Logan gave an amused smirk. “You sounded like Virgil.”

Patton beamed. “Like father, like son!”

Just as Patton was about to turn around to leave the store, something in the corner of the room glistened, catching his eye. “Hey Logan? Just one more thing?”

Logan hummed at him, encouraging Patton to continue.

He pointed to the object at the corner of the room. “How much can I get that for?”

 “Walkie-talkies. I sent you to Logan Berry, one of the smartest, most knowledgeable people about the afterlife in this town, and you come back with a Ghost Buster walkie-talkie.” Virgil grunted, dangling the toy by its antennae.

“You can have the Casper the Ghost one instead.”

“What? No! Ghost Busters is better, anyway.” Virgil groaned. “That’s not the point. How about advice? Did Logan say anything?”

“Just to respect the ghosts. Have common courtesy. Which you better be doing anyway, even without Logan telling you to do so.”

Virgil threw his hands up in exasperation and fell down into his sofa as the cushions engulfed the skinny man. “Obviously I respect them! The last thing I need is coming home possessed and cursed! He knows I know that. That’s really all he said?”

“Besides giving us his number.” Patton confirmed. “Which I already gave you.”

Virgil grumbled. “Whatever. One day I’ll get enough money to- wait. The walkie-talkies. There’s no way you could have bought them with my money, I would not have had enough. Please don’t tell me…”

Virgil got a glance of Patton’s sheepish look and groaned. “Patton, we have a rule! No buying each other anything!” He buried his head in his hands. “I can’t pay you back. You know that.”

“Hey…” Patton took a seat next to Virgil and laid a comforting hand on his knee. “It’s okay. They weren’t expensive. You don’t have to pay me back.”

Virgil looked at Patton in between his fingers. His voice was muffled against his palms. “You know how I feel about that, Pat.”

“Virgil, come on.” Patton pleaded.

Virgil shook his head. “Thank you. But, you need to return them.”

Guilty silence settled among the two, but neither made a move to leave. Both were lost in their own worlds when an idea struck Patton.

He nudged Virgil. “I know a way for you to pay me back without money.” At Virgil’s unimpressed look, he protested, “Seriously! It would mean a lot more to me than whatever these walkie-talkies cost.”

“Yea?” Virgil lifted his head from his hands. “What is it?”

Patton stared at Virgil’s stormy eyes as his heart pounded. In all honesty, this was the last thing Patton wanted to do. He was terrified. But, he thought back to the conversation he had with Remy, and the last time Virgil did something senseless unsupervised due to paranoia. “I want to go ghost hunting with you. At the New Prince Castle.”

Virgil’s jaw dropped. His eyes darted around Patton’s face before he shook his head and gave a weak chuckle. “Sure, Pat. Whatever you say.”

“No, I’m serious!” Patton insisted. “I’ll respect the ghosts and do whatever you tell me to do!”

Virgil was dismissing Patton before he could finish his sentence. “No, no, no. You hate ghost stories, Pat! Especially ones that are spooky and gruesome. You’d hate ghost-hutning. It’s dark and there’s lots of weird noises and tons of spiders. No way. I’m not adding more guilt to my conscience.”

Virgil made a move to get up from the sofa, but Patton refused to let the conversation drop. He grabbed Virgil’s hand and pulled him back to the seat. Virgil landed with a clumsy thump.  

“Kiddo, I know I hate all those things. I’m sure I’ll be scared. But, you’ll be there too! I love you more than I hate all those things combined.”

“Patton, we can do something else together. Go to the movies. Or bowling. Normal teen stuff.” Virgil reasoned.

Patton retorted, “But ghost hunting is important to you.”

“It’s not that important. It’s a simple hobby. I don’t care that much about it.” Virgil cut off.

“I know, I know!” Patton quickly backtracked. “What I meant was that ghost-hunting has been a cool way for us to bond. It intrigues you-a perfectly normal amount-and I like seeing you happy! Just like you go walking with me along the shops by the beach even though it’s super crowded and you hate it.”

“Patton, what’s your point?” Virgil grilled.

“My point is I want to try this thing that you enjoy with you. Just like you try things for me. It’s senior year, Virgil. No one hates thinking about it more than me, but we don’t know what things are going to be like after high school. I want to find a husband, start a family. Maybe study veterinary science. You could have a publisher for your writing, become a famous author, and move. I want to do this with you. I want to get over my fear.”

Patton stared at Virgil hopefully and held out his hand. “What do you say? One more big adventure for the dynamic duo?”

Virgil stared at Patton, looked down and roughly shook his head, froze, then stared at Patton once more. Virgil’s foot rapidly tapped against the floor, creating a dizzy, distracting melody. Finally, Virgil pulled his hair and glared at Patton. “You’ll be careful?”

Patton nodded eagerly.

“And you’ll stick with me no matter what? At all times? I want you in my sight.”

Virgil dramatically groaned, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. “I guess you can come.”

Patton shot up from his seat, whooping with joy and hopping around the sofa. “Thank you, Virgil! Thank you! We’re going to have such a great time!”

Virgil peeked one eye open and gave a soft grin. “Yeah, I guess we are. You’re sure you wanna do this?”

“Never been more sure of anything in my life besides my love for you and cats! I pinkie swear it.”

Patton and Virgil intertwined pinkies before Patton winked and let go, embracing Virgil.

“Let your moms know you’re going to be gone for the weekend.” Virgil smirked. “We have a haunted castle to explore.”

[tumblunni]

Randomly thinking some more about that old game idea of mine that i just call Dark Pokemon for now, lol

Basically a monster catching game where they're treated as monsters? Normal people are all terrified of them and trainers get treated with a 50/50 mix of reverence and hatred. Because trainers are the only way that humans can try and exterminate the monsters, yet theyre seen as cursed people who dont even count as human anymore. Sort of a way to explain little cliches of the genre like kids being thrown out completely alone to travel the world, and you never really having any reason to revisit past towns after you beat the gym. I was thinking itd be a cool way to do it if the game started off seeming like a normal mon catching game and then before you get the big reveal of the darkness you can get subtle hints if you try and turn around and reenter the starting area. Because it goes against expectations it might be missed by a lot of players.

Also the towns are so small and the routes are so straight and narrow because thats how humanity builds society in a world of monster fear. 90% of the world is uninhabited wilderness where only monsters live. Human towns are sorta like sci fi dome cities without the scifi? Surrounded by protective salt barriers and charms and stuff. And if a monster even touches anything its considered cursed, so if one of them makes it past a salt barrier that town is abandoned and any people caught up in the chaos of the barrier's collapse are left to die just in case they've been corrupted. And the roads between the towns are manned by armed guards who are constantly vigilant to repair the salt barriers. But this means they have to live their entire life alone in these limbo spaces between society and the wild, and often most narrier breaches are caused by the guards getting paranoid from the pressure. You need to keep watch for monsters so any movement in the shadows could be one of them, right?? You get situations of roads being blocked off by some crazed guard who starts seeing people as monsters, or one of them pulling the alarm and getting a town falsely burnt down for being corrupted when the monster was really just a leaf blowing in the wind. Or the worst case scenario where nobody ever knows WHAT happened! You just find the road destroyed and the guard gone. It might have happened days ago and nobody knew until a merchant tries to travel between towns and discovers the only road of escape is gone and everyone is doomed to slow starvation. And you can still see the other end of the road just a few meters away, but the superstition is so strong that nobody will risk taking that single step into monster territory. You'll be cursed and that's worse than death, right? You don't want to turn into a trainer...

And then also nobody really knows what determines who's chosen to be a trainer. Inevitably whenever someone shows signs of powers the town will turn on them and make up any excuse that they somehow invited the curse by being promoscuous or athiest or something. And you need to be removed for everyone's safety! Thus begins the ten year old's journey walking the earth in search of a place they can belong...

Tho usually its not just kids, the protagonist and rival is a rare case. All your neighbours are torn between 'its so tragic it happened to kids' and 'they must be REALLY evil to get chosen despite their age!' And i think maybe the rival would be like a sympathetic gary type? Theyre so determined to be better than you because they think if they can prove theyre good then their parents will let them go back home. And this desperation leads them to make bad choices and reject the only friend they have left :( Also them being bad to their monster pals would feel more justified when they were raised in a society that says monster pals are evil and you cant let your guard down cos theyre just trying to tempt you. Listen to the assholes who dont care about you, because anyone being nice is a lying sinner!

Also i was thinking maybe you catch monsters with a magic song or throwing herbs at them or absorbing them into a jewel pendant or something else more magicky yknow? Maybe magical bandages enscribed with spell runes that wrap arpund them like a collar? And so trainers are divided up into weavers who make these catching tools, and then the actual kind of trainer who uses them to catch mons. Weavers are able to stay in human society and act like the pokeball shops, theyre sorta like a 'town witch' or something. Like 'we will tolerate your magic if you never actually make a contract with a monster'. But then of course catching monsters is necessary to defend against monsters, so weavers have to be allowed to make the catching threads and sell them to travellers. But only travellers are allowed to do that sinful mon hugging! But also hey sinful traveller will you please save us from our doom? Basically this is why most trainers work as mercenaries, all this bullshit means that you gotta be employed by some asshole who hates your guts just cos u need food to eat. But blablabla town limit of X days before you have to leave, etc etc...

Also i was considering an element of different towns having different mythology around monsters and trainers? So you never really know whats real or if all of it is bullshit. Every time you go to a new place theyre equally fanatically convinced that some new thing is the real sin and everything the last guy said is eeeeeevil corruption. Sigh! And a subplot i was thinking of is a town with very sexist mythology, where the roles of weavers and tamers are seen as one gender only. And the town weaver is this nice grandma thats trapped in an abusive relationship with a super misogynist gramps. And one of those cloyingly fake-softspoken "rational" sexists who's all 'im just trying to protec u, wrong gender roles are bad for your immortal soul'. And has a million "logical" explanations for why his bigotry is true. Like technically he's "valuing her as important" by not letting her leave the house or socialize with friends, because yknow "im a nice guy who's nice to you trainers, i know your job is important so shouldnt the weavers be working 24/7 to support you?" The frustrating feeling of starting to trust a guy cos he's not bigoted against your particular minority, but then finding out he's bigoted against someone else... Ugh. So ultimately in the end you can succeed at this sidequest and help the grandma make a pact with a cute fairy monster and kick his ass and leave. And possibly get into a cute and mutually healthy relationship with another grandma in another town, so you get to see that and have a bonus happy note to the sidequest, yknow? Also they give you a hug and bake u cookies. (The monster is wearing a cute chef hat!) And then you'd have a place to stay in that town that doesnt have the 'it gets more expensive every night to try and make you leave' bullshit of all the normal inns. And you get to see a cute animation of your monsters all cuddled up in bed too cos they dont force you to leave them outside in the Designated Monster Containment Cage.

Oh! Also randomly i was thinking of another way of foreshadowing! Like when you go to the first inn you dont know any of this stuff about people hating monster tamers and not trusting your tamed mons even if theyre tame. So you'd probably just think that you not seeing your monsters when you sleep is just the game's limited graphics or you keep them in some pokeball equivelant thing. But when you walk arpund the outside of the inn you can see a door to a basement cellar that's got weirdly heavy duty chains and bars even if you assume they store their valuables down there. And maybe when you heal at the inn it never restores your mons to full health, always 10hp away from maximum or something? Or other small hints that theyre afraid of going to the inn and your protagonist is wary about doing it even if you'd think theres no downside to healing. Or maybe you can see another monster tamer visit the place at one point and you can hear banging and growling from the basement...? Or see some of the chains have bite marks in the morning. And the townsfolk wpuld be all 'can you believe how much noise they made?' and expressing fear about monsters being in the town, though itd have to be written carefully to remain vague. But yeah 'lets mistreat these small animals because we fear them' -> they panic and cry for their one human friend in the world while theyre forced to sleep in a damp dark tiny room -> 'that just proves theyre inherantly violent!' Also the trainer is an ungrateful bastard for acting so sullen when they couldnt sleep from worry over their friends :(

But it wont be all depressing yo!!! All the darkness of the setting is dark but the monster pals are still just as pals! I give u grimdark world so i can give u a protagonist of kindness who fights the system and saves people in every town who eventually rise up and are swayed by their kindness into fighting The Old Ways and making a better world as the story goes on! Its like an adventure of creating the pokemon world? You try and sell everyone on the idea of trusting cute monsters instead of being so damn paranoid you inflict all these atrocities upon other humans and even yourself because 'sacrifices are necessary to keep the monsters away'. Fight the symbol of all bigotry!!! The evil team is Team Bad Dads And Politicians!!!

...sorry lol my story ideas are Weird.

[panticwritten]

Writing request! Carl and Sawyer (some version of you, I’m not sure where Carl usually fits in) have stumbled into the same dungeons and dragons forum and become closer through battling together (not 100% sure of Carl’s personality, be him not the type for this or totally the type). This can be a silly throw away or warmup up one since it is me.

Okay, so Cherry sent me this like forever ago. I wrote it, they read it because they live with me, but I forgot to actually post it! The name change to Kane is going smoothly, and I’m ready to never think about that asshole as Karl again lmaooooo

So, yeah, Kane and I play some DnD and he’s not subtle about anything ever at all. 

I’ll have to wait until after I post this to change the colors of the different people in the text chats because lord knows I look at those strings of chat-text and have a time sifting through it. Homestuck has spoiled me.

Word count: 2270

@asinwolves @avi-burton-writing @infinitelyblankpage @no-url-ideas-tho @jade-island-lives @ravenpuffwriter @spirit-wizard-nerd @steakfryday @alextriestowritestuff @cataclystr0phe  @perringwrites @davidvalencia323 @fluffpiggy @dont-trust-the-clogs @authorkimberlygrey @aclassilighthouse @cherrytying

I don’t think Kane knows I know.

If the smattering of ‘kid’ in our correspondences hadn’t tipped me off, it would definitely have been the way he made his character. I doubt anyone else would get the joke or see what he’s doing, but seriously? His character isn’t anything like him, of course.

If he were to be himself, he’d be a tiefling fighter. Either scout (ha) or cavalier archetype. He’d be a faction agent. Making a call between the chaotic alignments might be a shaky one sometimes. His attributes terribly skewed toward charisma and dexterity.

But he’s chosen a true neutral urchin. A mastermind rogue. An eladrin. The attributes are fairly balanced, save for dexterity always hovering above the others and strength a little lacking. Nothing like Kane. Not at all.

No, that’s the point.

He made a character that is exactly what I end up presenting myself as in the damn Cube. How I always play in console RPGs. Behavior just not erratic enough to be chaotic. Snarky and angry, never overtly because of the need to cover every goddamn emotion up. Inconsistent.

I’m not sure when I realized it was him. I thought it might be a member of the Collective when I first got the invitation from an unknown player. With Haz, j355, Hal, and Jax as mods of the server and tag-teaming as DMs, I slowly caught on to Kane’s game.

He’s making fun of me. He must have been playing with this character for some time, with their high level, and I wonder how long he’s been planning this.

It took me a little bit to even realize most of the similarities between myself and the character. My own character, a homebrew ice genesai, a brawler, bonded fairly quickly with them because they’re both urchins and saved each others’ asses when their time in the city overlapped.

He uses my lines, though. The whole ‘I’ll be fine’ shtick and his character has mentioned being a poet several times. After that, it took a few more days of play to start realizing it was him. That it was Kane playing such a long game.

The first time it occured to me, it was a bad call on what the endolin would do. We were looking for the deed to a seemingly abandoned manor. We hadn’t run into anything but low-level scavenging animals. In short, any good player would be a little on-edge and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Halexander (MOD): Alright. The second you both clear the door, it slams shut behind you.Match (SeeSaw): Crap.Videre (ANON): whats in the room?Halexander (MOD): It’s a pretty nondescript room. Pretty small, almost looks like a study with three desks lining one wall and a bookshelf on another. There’s a couch shoved into a corner, looks like it was slept in recently.Match (SeeSaw): Can we roll investigation real quick?Halexander (MOD): Go for it, dude.Match (SeeSaw): 5Halexander (MOD): You notice that, unlike the rest of the place, there’s no dust. The whole room is swept clean of it. That’s it. The epitome of observation.Match (SeeSaw): Okay. Videre?Videre (ANON): nah im goodHalexander (MOD): You sure? Just gonna barge in there?Videre (ANON): the doors locked right what else can we do?Match (SeeSaw): Whatever. I’ll get a closer look at the couch.Videre (ANON): imma look at the closest desk while the kid does thatMatch (SeeSaw): Fuck youHalexander (MOD): I’ll put some form of that exchange as being in character.Match (SeeSaw): GoodMatch (SeeSaw): Now, the couchHalexander (MOD): To clarify, you’re both investigating different areas of the room?Match (SeeSaw): YesVidere (ANON): yeahHalexander (MOD): Excellent.

I was so used to the DMs at least pretending to need time to formulate responses that Hal’s immediate block of text took me by surprise.

Halexander (MOD): The two of you cross the room in different directions, as if by silent agreement. Match is slower, being more hesitant, so Videre gets to the desks first. Before you can do more than peer at the desk, however, there is a cry behind you. The bedding on the couch lashed out and has taken Match captive. Match, a blanket has one wrist and a facemask has bound itself over your eyes due to your proximity when the animation first occurred. Roll Initiative.Match (SeeSaw): Whaaaaat. Not cool. Okay, 16.Halexander (MOD): Enchanted Bedding got 12.Halexander (MOD): Videre?Videre (ANON): am i far enough away that i can stay out of order and keep looking through the drawers?

Uh.

Match (SeeSaw): What the fuck. I’m being attacked here, your rapier would take care of this in like two seconds.Videre (ANON): you dont know that. i have a feeling the deeds in here just give me a minuteHalexander (MOD): You can stay out of the fight if you want, but you still need to roll so we can keep this orderly.Videre (ANON): fineVidere (ANON): 8Halexander (MOD): Thanks for cooperating.Match (SeeSaw): Okay, first off, Match is never going to trust you again.Videre (ANON): he doesnt even know im helping yet. he cant see rememberMatch (SeeSaw): WHATEVERMatch (SeeSaw): Is the blanket pulling on me or just holding me there?Halexander (MOD): It’s tugging something fierce. The rest of the pile of blankets and pillows are writhing as if alive.Match (SeeSaw): I guess I’ll attack the blanket with that dinky little knife.Match (SeeSaw): “you should empty your bag in case you find good loot” THANKS VIDERE NOW I DONT HAVE MY GOOD WEAPONSVidere (ANON): hey you should know better than to listen to me by now kidMatch (SeeSaw): When we finish this, I will find you and kill you.Halexander (MOD): Also canon, in-character dialogue.Match (SeeSaw): YEET, crit. 5 damageMatch (SeeSaw): Don’t think you’re off the hook here, HalHalexander (MOD): I resent that.Halexander (MOD): And that’s including your proficiency?Match (SeeSaw): 6 damage.Halexander (MOD): That’s what I thought.Halexander (MOD): You slash blindly at the blanket. You manage to cut the corner holding you clean off. You’re still blinded, but you’re free to move.Match (SeeSaw): OKAY YEAH I BACK THE FUCK UP AND ASK VIDERE WHAT THE FUCK THEYRE DOINGHalexander (MOD): You stumble back into the door.Match (SeeSaw): Hold up just a fucking second

I scrolled up to reread the chat.

Match (SeeSaw): Can I try opening the door?Halexander (MOD): Unfortunately, you’ve exhausted your turn. The mass of blankets shoots out another piece but cannot quite reach you in its haste. Obviously, you don’t actually see this because: The blindfold begins to tighten around your eyes. That’s it for that, what’s next on the agenda?Videre (ANON): how many of these drawers could i search in one turn?Halexander (MOD): Two.Videre (ANON): how many drawers in each desk?Halexander (MOD):Three.Videre (ANON): ill search two drawers in the first deskHalexander (MOD): Alrighty then. The first drawer is full of vials and tubes. Most of them stand empty, but there is a vial each of blue, red, and orange liquid. The second contains a weathered journal.Videre (ANON): ill snag those three vials and pocket the journalHalexander (MOD):Of course you will.Match (SeeSaw): Can I open the door now.Halexander (MOD): Since Sherlock Holmes over here can’t do much else, I’ll bite. The door, amazingly, shockingly, opens once you manage to find it with the blindfold currently limiting your sight and putting increasing pressure on your skull.Match (SeeSaw): Okay, we’re dumb.Match (SeeSaw): Videre, the door’s open, let’s get the hell out of here!Videre (ANON): im not doneMatch (SeeSaw): Are you serious right now.Halexander (MOD): Better make the rest of your turn good.Match (SeeSaw): K. I cut the string on the blindfold and join that IDIOT at the desksHalexander (MOD): I’m honestly just gonna take that as a free action.Match (SeeSaw): Sweet. Can I search a drawer?Halexander (MOD): You definitely can.Match (SeeSaw): I’ll start on the middle desk, I guess.Match (SeeSaw): I’ll deal with YOU later, VidereVidere (ANON): looking forward to itHalexander (MOD): The drawer holds a dusty lab coat. That’s it.Match (SeeSaw):Why the fuck not, I’ll take it.Halexander (MOD): You done?Halexander (MOD): Just kidding, I know you are. The blanket wraps around your ankle to pull your feet out from under you. Roll for acrobatics to see if you eat shit.Match (SeeSaw): Jesus fuck.Match (SeeSaw): 10Halexander (MOD): You slam your face into the desk on the way down. Take 1d4 damage for that, and your nose is bleeding.Match (SeeSaw): Why are you doing this to me.Halexander (MOD): You chose to let me design this campaign. What did you think would happen?Match (SeeSaw):2Halexander (MOD): While you’re down, another blanket catches you by the wrist. Again. Go, Videre.Videre (ANON): two more drawersHalexander (MOD): The first is full of pieces of metal. Mostly junk, nuts and bolts. The second is empty, so I’ll knock the action down and let you open another one.Match (SeeSaw): IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR HANDS AFTER THIS YOU WILL HELP ME RIGHT NOWVidere (ANON): yeah ill open another drawer. that leaves three left right

They searched every single drawer before helping me, by which time I was almost dead and being smothered by a pillow. They found the deed and I chewed them out on the way back to town. They said they knew I would be fine, they needed to find the deed, and there was no harm done.

Having already seen the parallels this anonymous player was making between their character and myself, I bristled at my computer.

Match (SeeSaw): Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. You won’t stay anonymous forever.Videre (ANON): oh im so scaredVidere (ANON): are you gonna come kick the shit out of me over a dumb game? give it up and find something else to obsess over if youre gonna be like that kidVidere (ANON): im just staying in character

And I had a good idea who was on the other side of the computer after that. Especially after I found out he’d done a covert investigation check with Hal instead of sharing with me. He knew there was an enemy in the room before we even entered. Was likely planning on using me as a distraction from the beginning.

The next time he surprised me, we were working for the owner of an orphanage to find ways to exploit parents interested in adoption. Match goes along with it because why not. Also because fuck adults.

But Videre surprised both me and Jax.

Jaxabandit (MOD): u want to what?Videre (ANON): buy the orphanageMatch (SeeSaw): We won’t get paid if you do that.Videre (ANON): im gonna assume that was in character and not in this whole ‘ooc’ space or whateverMatch (SeeSaw): Duh. The guy’s slimy and gross. But just because you have money doesn’t mean Match does. He needs the paycheck.Videre (ANON): think of it this wayVidere (ANON): if dicks like this werent in power match wouldnt have grown up on the streetsMatch (SeeSaw): That’s not how he thinks about shit and you know it.Videre (ANON): and hes not the one holding a huge sack of gold right now

I didn’t know what to think. By this point, I knew it was Kane. The fact that I asked Haz helps, but I know the way he talks to me. He’s the only one that would do this and keep up with it for so long.

So now, I’m not exactly sure what to do.

Match just died, like D-E-D, dead, and Videre is flipping the fuck out. The two of them had become fairly close friends. They were snarky and prickly toward each other, but they were partners in crime and would likely kill for each other.

Videre gets really scary in the final stretch of that fight.

I didn’t realize Kane thought so highly of my intimidation skills. I didn’t think he thought highly of me at all, not outside of work. I was just a tool and a weapon and something to either give orders to or take orders from.

But Videre is a force of nature toward the end. Being a mastermind rogue, they confuse the ice devil as well as fighting it. They show a lot of skill they didn’t before, turning a few unlucky rolls into happy mistakes. Even they seem surprised when they win.

Videre (ANON): wellVidere (ANON): i guess i know what its like to be you nowThe Old Hazzle Dazzle (MOD): Are you done now, Kane?Videre (ANON): wow cats out of the bagMatch (SeeSaw): You’re awful at hiding who you are, though.Match (SeeSaw): Also, you’re an assholeThe Old Hazzle Dazzle (MOD): Did you want to make a new character and keep going? Or call it quits for now?Match (SeeSaw): I think I’m done. I gotta go challenge Kane to a fist fight.Videre (ANON):gotta find me first

- Videre (ANON): has left the chat -

He’ll have to try a hell of a lot harder than that to get out of actually hanging out with me like a person.

[souljournaler]

shadow check-in

here's some notes from checking in with my shadow. they've been a bit loud lately, & it's starting to become distracting. this is our conversation. I'm blue, shadow is red

whoa hey that's a lot of space you're taking up in here

and whose fault is that?

yeah ok well there's a lot of stuff happening right now in the world thats stressful

yeah well u can't save everyone

I'm not trying to save everyone

sure jan

so what's up? you seem to need my attention a bit more right now

you can't just pop in to say hi?

I'm literally doing that right now actually

ok ok ok so listen listen

fuck you

please tell me what's up

(career doubts due to feelings of personal inadequacy) & (fear of f*sc*st p*l*ce st*te)

idk why you even bother with a career, the collapse of the empire is coming. besides, no one wants your advice, & you've got no other skills. why would people keep you around when everything is going to shit? especially when u benefited from oppressive systems for so long & even strived for a seat at their table? do you even deserve to stay around?

man you know like most of that isn't true, but do i hear you're afraid of being abandoned by people you love who you've put a lot of energy into building relationships with. why do you think they'd abandon you? we have lots of cool friends who have stayed around they all the hard times.

no YOU have friends that love YOU. and theyre only going to stay until things get TOO bad, and then theyll decide we're a lost cause. especially when they see me

we're the same person mate. & the lads have seen you. & theyre still around

most ppl leave though

and plenty will. it sux but it is what it is. you of all people know better than anyone we can't please everyone, where's that energy now?

ok ok shut up fuck you, i get it

ok i have a question for you now

ya?

why are you afraid that something is gonna take over that we can't control?

cuz it might make me do something that scares other people, & you'd never let me hear the end of it if that happened. you'd probably even tell me it was our fault.

lol thats true. you already scare people enough without being hijacked by a scary entity though, so what's the problem?

LOL thats true. i wouldn't want to accidentally hurt someone though

again, you already do that without being hijacked

fuck ok yeah ig thats tru. i just would rather have my wits about me if I'm gonna do something stupid.

i feel like not being conscious or fully in control of your actions is probably a good excuse though if something were to happen

dude

no

why not

dude. autonomy

so you'd rather actually choose to hurt someone while fully present for your mistake?

that's kind of warped. is it a choice if it's an accident?

hm. guess not. is it really an accident if you choose to do the thing that caused it?

i think you just answered your question

so you'd channel again? full shift?

I'd like to. i don't really have an occasion though

you don't really need an occasion

i feel like i need an occasion

why

...

you could just be chilling

who would i even channel?

you could channel me 😈

i could. what would you have us do?

[redacted]

ok see, that is exactly why im afraid of full shift channeling, cuz you might do some shit like that!

I'm just kidding! unless...?

no. no [redacted] yet

yet!!!

yet. see this is why i have to rely on our higher self so much

i actually think [redacted] is a good idea if you're trying to [redacted]

please don't, that's really not helping right now

right right, ok, bye

bye

bye bitch

so you're afraid that whatever spirit we channel is gonna exploit my energy to make you do stupid shit?

yes

lol, again, u dont need me to do stupid shit, you'll do that all on your own

thanks

i just mean, the fear is pointless. at the very least, you don't have to be afraid of me, specifically, making you do stupid shit. you stop me all the time, even when our state of consciousness is hella altered. i TRY to get you to do stupid shit while we're out of it. sometimes i succeed, but if we end up too fucked up, even when you're literally unconscious, you know who steps in every time?

higher self?

higher self. remember that time we were drugged?

yes. i mean no. but yes

the driver's seat was wide open then. & higher self stepped in to protect us

that's nice of them

yes. "nice." 😬 anyway i can't rly answer for other spirits outside of us, since i still always have u falling for my bullshit (lol btw. you have GOT to stop doing that, or keep doing it, idc) but i think we're stronger than you give us credit for. between me & higher self, we wouldn't let anything happen to us. you need to trust us more.

ok. that's actually really nice, shadow. thanks

yeah, you know, it's just true, ok? you don't have to thank me for stating a fact

shadow you know you can just take the compliment right?

fuck you. anyway just, if you wanna channel, just do it

but ppl might think im weird & crazy!

ppl literally already think you're weird & crazy, get over it

you know we care a lot about what ppl think.

no. we don't. we care about someone sending cops after us.

ok true. what do you say about that tho?

easy, don't talk to cops

yes bc that's SO easy in these united states of america

ok ok, i hear you. so let's think, what IF the cops came to get us for channeling? all someone would have to do is claim you're violent or a danger to urself & others, then what? death by cop?

that's the fear, yup

what, so you're afraid of being murdered by a cop?

yes

hm. well, i would just [redacted] in that case

which would probably get us killed faster, actually

maybe! ok probably. what if they took us though? what would happen then?

probably a mandatory 72 hours, maybe longer if they wanted to keep us locked up

& we've gotten thru that before, right?

right. it's worse now though than when we were a teen

what are you afraid of there? other than being held against our will longer than the mandatory 72 hours, of course

you know, same shit grandma went thru. sedation, r*pe, & shock "therapy"

why would they do that to us though?

idk, i might not be able to mask that long & have a meltdown or smth. also not much we could do if one of the employees was a r*pist.

ok yeah that would suck. how likely is that actually, though? or are you just scared because of confirmation bias?

probably confirmation bias.

ok well then maybe realize that's not a likely enough scenario for u to spend so much energy on a block of fear like that. we don't need it right now. if it ever becomes useful, it'll still be here for one of us to put it back. but for now, what do you want to do?

i want to be able to channel again, full shift

ok then. I'll hang onto this block until we need it, if ever. ok?

ok

thanks. i know you & higher self will keep me safe

yeah, whatever. you'd better.

ok im a bit tuckered out from that. good convo though, i think

toodles

Sol

[felixeslee]

92 q tag

hello this tag is highkey irrelevant now but it’s been in my drafts for ages so !! laskdgjasodigjsaldkgasodigjasdg which is why i wont b tagging anyone bc im so late but !! yeah !! ok !! !!!!!!!!!1111!!! lets !! go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

tagged by @hyuunjins @hyunjinh @straykiz and @dae-hwee from my w1 blog (lmaoo hi pindi this is sarah!! AIddgsdfk if youre aware of this blog but hope its ok if i do it here alskdg ) 

rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. 

🌙 LAST

Drink: the water that I drank this morning!! Aka around 12 hrs ago asdgasdgoij pls stay hydrated kids 

Text Message: i texted my brother if he knew where my dad was lol,,,,,,, sldkjgaosidgj 

Phone Call: CALLED MY BROTHER BC HE WASNT RESPONDING MY TEXTS,,,,, he also didn’t pick up ldskgjsoidgjsldkgsjdg

Song you listened to: Goodbye My Love by Aileeeee <3 lovv 

Time you cried: TODAY ,,,, i was getting super anxious bc i didn’t know where my dad was ??? he was supposed to pick me up but he forgot abt me until like an hr later… sldkgjaosidgj 

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: no :00 lmao i’ve never dated… ever alskdjgaoijsdf 

Kissed someone and regretted it: i havent had my first kiss yet HEH 

Lost someone special: unfortunately, yes :( 

Been depressed: sdgksjadoiglskdfosdijgalskdfaosdigjaksdgoaisdjf idk 

Been drunk and thrown up: lmao i’ve never drank ,,, at all,,,, the smell of alchohol scares me,,,,, evn my little brother has had a sip once and he’s 5 yrs younger LMAO ,,, but im a noob and don’t wanna try sldkgjosidjgs 

🌙 IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: yay yes yeslgkdgsdf

Fallen out of love: i dont think i’ve ever evn been in love…. Sdlgksjdoigj 

Met someone who changed you: yes,,,,,,,,, 

Found out who your true friends are: uhhhh idk aslkdgjaosidjf i honestly can never tell when someone’s being a fake friend so!!!!!! Idk honestly lmao

Found out someone was talking about you: i did ! but it wasn’t for anything bad or anything……… they just criticized me behind my back?? But i agreed w their criticism so alsdkjgaosidgj  

🌙 GENERAL

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: ummm,,,, like 4?? We r mutuals evn though none of them r actually kpop blogs,,,, so i always feel guilty spamminig their aesthetic feed w my screaming tags and annoying shit LMAO but i lov them <3 

Do you have any pets?: NO :”( I WANT A DOGGO THO …. REALLY BAD…..

Do you want to change your name?: uhhh ik so many sarahs its not evn funny and my last name is hella basic too????? Theres 3 ppl that share my first+last name in my school alone….. So maybe i’d change it to my chinese name (yue) ?? also bc it sounds more sophisticated,, and i lov anything that makes me sound smarter than the reality of my dumb self LOL 

What time did you wake up this morning: LOL so my alarm rings at 6:40 but i get out of bed at 7:10 SLDGKJSODIF … and i need to get out of the house by 7:20 lsdkgsdoig 

What were you doing last night: physics and apush :SLDGJOSIDFJ the 2 most dreaded classes UGH

Something you cannot wait for: DINNER .. i love me some gud dinner

Have you ever talked to a person named tom?: thomas jefferson my mAN 

What’s getting on your nerves right now: when it’s so heckin cold i can’t concentrate + i hate taking notes when it’s cold??? Bc then my hands r like half numb and it HURTS WHEN I TAKE NOTES sldkgsoidjf ALSO WHEN I DRAW ,,,,, STIFF FINGERS R THE WORST WHEN DRAWING

Blood type: i think a????????????

Nickname: my most common ones r swisso + salad (i promise these make sense in context LOL ) 

Relationship status: return NullPointerException; //im a cs person,,, dont judge

Zodiac sign: capricorn!

Pronouns: she + her

Favorite show: i dont watch many shows but i love watching a gud studio ghibli movie when im feelin down

College: this QUESTION LSDKGJSODIGJ ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wanna go to college but will any accept me ??!?!

Hair colour: its naturally black but it’s currently dyed ombre from black → brown !!!!!!

Do you have a crush on someone: i havent had a legit crush in 3 yrs lmao……. 

What do you like about yourself: the fact that im a deep sleeper. Idk how light sleepers function omg like wouldn’t u wake up to like,,,,, everything??! :((( that makes me sad bc u hav no idea how much i lov a nice long undisturbed slumber

   🌙 FIRSTS

First surgery: okAY so like i've had 2 procedures done on my eyes lmaooo like (1) when i was a smol beb of like 1 yr old i rolled off my bed aaaannnnddd the corner of my eye hit the edge of the sharp corner of the bedside table!!! and then y1ke$ things got ugly loll (((yes, i wuz dum + clumsy since the day i popped from the womb))) its all stitched up now and i hav a tinie tinie scar aslkdgs okay and (2) there was something weird abt my tearducts LOL so u know when u get sad nd stuff ur nose gets runny and u sniff a lot??? well like that wasn't the case for me bc the passage way from my eyes to my nose was completely blocked off,,,,, which resulted in me lookin like i was full blown cryin like every 2 seconds... like if i kept my eyes open for too long my eyes would get watery and tears would flow out LMAO ,,,, i looked like i just never stopped crying,,, but it was just my eyes were just ALWAYS WATERING sdlgjsdif damn u have no idea after the procedure i was like 'do ppl live like this??? not having to wipe tears every 0.2 sec??? oh my god,,, i am livin THE LIFE' 

First piercing: i hav no piercings!!! Bc stabbing holes thru myself scares me sdlkjgsoidg but i love the way earrings look tho so :///// 

First sport you joined: dance or gymnastics???? I dont rly remember

First vacation: CHINA prob???? 

First pair of sneakers: i think sketchers LMAO ,,, the big thing  

🌙 RIGHT NOW

Eating: nothing!!!!!

I’m about to: do som sketches for my AP art class 

Listening to: my dad sing som old chinese folk stuff behind me LOL 

Want kids: i already adopted all 9 members of stray kids tho ??? idk if im ready for more atm 

Get married: LOL This question just reminded me of smol story from my childhood: so like i used to b rly close w these 3 other kids,,,, one other girl and 2 guys,,, and our parents were all rly tight too,, and our four families would just go camping together and it was rly :’’D fun and so we all made a pact that I would marry one of the guys and the other girl would marry the other guy and we’d all go camping together forever but then KINDERGARTEN HIT,,,, we moved schools and yeah im still rly close w the girl but i miss the 4 of us dkgjsodigjsdlkgsdf LOL 

Career: waterbottle 🌙 

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: eyes? Eh idk i just never rly considered lips ?? LOL 

Hugs or kisses: hugs? I dont hav experience w kisses so sldkgjsoidgjsd yike syikes yikes 

Shorter or taller: TALLER

Troublemaker or hesitant: uhhhhh neither??? Like i just want someone playful + extroverted bc im quite introverted,,,,,,,,,, so if he was hesitant we’d just b super awkward and quiet,,, and i don’t like getting involved w sketchy troublemaker shit either LOL ,,, 

Older or younger: as long as they r in the same school grade level,,,, and i guess 1-2 yrs older is okaY? But lowkey freaks me out if too old 

Romantic or spontaneous: sldkgjsoidfj both? Like i lov someone who is unpredictable and spontaneous,,,, but on the other hand im lowkey a helpless romantic lasdkgjaoisdjf 

Sensitive or loud: both i guess too??? Its good to have someone understanding and sensitive but also someone who knows how to have fun  :) 

Hookup or relationship: hookups,,,,,,,, just dont make sense to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i get attached to someone p easily so even if i dont plan on being attached,,,, i’d probably get attached :(  

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: YIKES no 

Drank hard liquor: nO 

 Lost contacts/glasses: UH I HATE THIS BUT YES….. 

Sex on first date: yikes * (6.02 *10^23) adkgaosidjgaslkdf no thaNK you 

Broken someone’s heart: i dont know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i might’ve but maybe im just not aware ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but on a sidenote i think my old comupter science teacher gets a migrain everytime he sees me LOLLLLLL sdlgjsoidgjsldf 

Been arrested: no,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :0 

Turned someone down: yeah lmao i kinda feel bad tho bc they were all good ppl,,,,  lskjgosidjf but thankfully im still good friends and pretty tight w all of them ~  

🌙 DO YOU BELIEVE

In yourself: ocassionally i try to :’’D

Miracles: lol yes 

Love at first sight: i used to ? but not anymore,,,, like i believe u can be attracted to someone at first sight ?? but i feel like love cannot be attained thru visual contact only asldgjoasidjalsdg