#tho fox and his wife do watch kinnporsche with me lmao

[bunnakit]

Fox of course I fucking saw this, I live in the mainframe of this little hellsite.

I love you so much buddy, you've become the brother I never got to have and I'm always so happy when you open up to me because I know how hard it is for you (for both of us, oops.) I'm so glad we've stayed so close even while my hyperfixation takes me to other horizons and I love that you encourage all my feral screaming and energy. I haven't made a real, solid, familial friendship like this in over ten years and it's so special to me you don't even know.

Smooching you and Kenna buddy, I hope you guys have a wonderful holiday and you know I'm always down to sit in VC anytime.

Teehee.

Another late night post. I wrenched my back reaching for my phone charger, and now I think I might sleep on the couch so I dont exacerbate it.

So I'm watching the McElroy brothers play Super Mario World, have a heating pad pushing on my ouchies. And with Christmas coming up, lets do a teensy thought bubble.

This year has been absolutely crazy. A year ago I was negotiating a ridiculous raise at my last company, as everything fell apart around us because they had just demoted the obly other project manager. Meanwhile, my boss and the owner of the company was in South America because he doesn't like cold weather.

Now I'm unemployed, Kenna has a job, and I've spent most of the year playing video games and napping. No job prospects as of now, but who knows what this week holds.

We used our tax return money to fund a dream trip to Japan. We got a whole house to ourselves, finally got passports, registered for the train pass, and planned so many things.

We skipped the trip because I couldn't hold my anxiety in check after opening up the Pandora's box of emotional mess that is me. And neither of us regrets it. We haven't complained that we missed out. Other than the loss of money (almost the whole fucking trip sadly) were good with it.

Now onto my all time favorite subject. My friends.

This year, I reaffirmed my love for many old friends, and got closer with a few. I lost a couple to differences of opinions, and I just can't bring myself to be broken hearted. They have hate in their heart, I just can't. Finally, I met people who changed my whole world.

Last year, I got to attend a friends wedding and meet him for the first time, and I thought I was going to die. We had a wonderful time, and the warmth of the hugs I got changed me forever.

Earlier this year, I befriended my beloved Oat. I have a friend that I can bullshit with, who can somehow get me talling about the deepest stuff, who makes me feel heard and felt. She helped me with so much, including my mental health, relationship help, self confidence, and my streaming. Oat, I think you'll see this. I need you on my stream again soon, I miss you! Forehead kisses!

Then in August, while streaming some batshit crazy stuff (encouraged as always by Oat! < 3) I got raided. I figured cool, another Zelda streamer, maybe we can help each other out. Tch, to underestimate something so drastically. Not only did she inspire me to up my streaming game, Rachine collabs with me, has brought me tons of followers, workshops streams and tech issues with me (sometimes live on air) and most importantly, become one of my closest, dearest friends. She pushed me to play some of her favorite games, and brought me back to FFXIV. She encourages me and inspires me to try new things. (And yes, you're always right).

She also let me join her FC, and opened up a whole new world of friends. I have befriended some of the warmest, kindest people who went out of their way to make me feel welcome. They run dungeons, they answered questions, they carried my ass.

Finally, Jengo (who is not online other than streaming. Purest of us.) Who is part of Rachine's FC. She was the first one to essentially insist I run a dungeon with her, she made time for me to walk me through my combos, has mentored my climbing skills, answers more questions than anyone.

All of them also sit in VC with me when I'm having anxiety or breakdowns, support me when I doubt, encourage me. They are my family and I just...

Look, I know I dont shut up about them. This isn't a grab for brownie points, it's not attention. Its me workshopping how to express my deep love and gratitude to them without making them uncomfortable or laying it on too thick. Maybe they never read this, maybe they never have to put up with it for the fifth time this week. How do you properly express it to them? Telling someone you love them only gets me so far. Even with Kenna. After 17 years, saying I love you doesnt feel like the proper way to tell her shes my world.

As I regularly talk about, I am not a brief person. I am almost pathologically incapable of keeping any kind of explanation short. After a certain point, a 60 paragraph diatribe on how important someone is gets tired. I love my friends.

Its been an up and down year, but I have to say I wouldnt trade it for anything. I need those people in my life, because I am a gigantic baby and the alternative is I have internet access and no friends. That would be worse than what you have to read now.

To my friends: thank you. I love you. Happy holidays. Thank you.