#tho at this point maybe it shouldn't count for either of them

[elwelle]

“He was different now. He knew she could tell, and couldn’t decide if this was good or not — couldn’t decide anything, it seemed, when it came to Jane.”

(An unbelievably late fic for Janther week 2018 for the prompt ‘metanoia’, that is so late it’s come all the way around to 2023 for the prompt ‘ashes’.)

Read here.

[sonicblueartist]

I'm so impressed by how much you write, do you have any tips?

Tips For Writing A Lot?

Sure. I can try to explain it as best as I can.

The moment an idea comes to my mind, I write it down. I don't start editing right away. If I have to do research, I will do it. For me, doing research is very fun and I would love to share what I find with you. Do I need to write something about a disease? I immediately research and add whatever I find on the internet to my story (not everything of course. Don't want to fill your mind with countless/unnecessary information and scare you away/ bore you into the further reading) This also develops and moves the story forward. Both in terms of fullness and vocabulary.

I'll try to fit my ideas in your requests if it suits your wishes. Whenever it comes. I write as I feel like. I start with whichever one I feel closer to. I always give a start to all your requests. So when I look back and see the words there, I don't go back, it pushes me to write more.

I also use translator after editing (I am calling out to those whose native language is not English) It also helps a lot for me to find new words/sentences to add. Or fix mistakes that I missed while editing. You do this or don't, that's do not change what you do. You write, you pour your mind into words. That's what counts. No one can think excatly like you, even if they did no one can write/express like you. (Don't leave all the job to the translator. It sometimes translate wrong or add wrong pronoun/noun) Either you know this or not I am leaving a warning anyway.

If you don't force yourself a bit. Sit down, open the site and start writing without any disturbance/ without anything to distract you, you will not and can't write at all even if you do want to. I know that from myself. Distractions. A pain in the ass. I do that to myself, a lot. I regret immediately. I do it anyway, I know cuz it happens a bit out of my will. Probably because of habit. But I shouldn't. I'm ready to write, but suddenly I go to YouTube or another social media and waste a lot of time there. Even if I go back to writing again, I lose my desire, I don't want to write anymore, I get tired or my ideas poof away. This is when your will, yourself, your mind come into play. You need to stop and remind yourself. Ask what you want to do first. Do you want to write? Need to do homework? Or need to do housework? Or do you want to waste time? Maybe you will have fun while you waste that time, but sometimes you need to stop having fun so that you can do your responsibilities. Time will not come back. It's the dearest thing you have. Getting in trouble is really not a good thing. As the day of your work gets closer, you become more stressed. It is always better to do it right away from the first day than to delay it. (Tho songs matching with your mood or the story can help too)

But first and foremost take care of yourself. You always come first. Sleep at the right time. Eat at the right dose. Believe me when I say this, if you don't eat or sleep your mind after some point literally stops working and that's a huge no for us writers because if your mind not working? You can't write. (This is like a huge writers block moment lmao Even if you are depressed sometimes the best ideas comes from unexpected moments) I know some of best times to write/good ideas nearly all the time comes at night. (For me it also comes when I am showering. Staying in there at least for an hour 👀💦) But sometimes you have to do sacrifices to live more lmao

This is like cooking. You can't rush it, ir would taste bad. You can't cook it for too long. Everything has to be in time. If you are cooking more than one dish, the cooking time for all of them will be different. Depending on the difference in ingredients in it~

I think... I write a bit a lot here. But thanks for reading all these (if you did 👀) and for the ask!

[originalhomestuckscenarios]

For the Valentine's event, if it isn't a problem, could I request an unsent confession letter from Sollux to Karkat? Quadrant is up to you, tho redrom would be much appreciated! I hope this is ok to request ;w; Thank you!

I like moiral stuff with them more, but can't say no to red ;)

Also I thought I'll write it a little differently than my usual Unsent Letter format!

This is a part of 3x Valentines event (All slots are taken)

Sollux x Karkat unsent love letter

Feferi managed to get Sollux to talk a little bit more about his feelings. It wasn't anything unusual, it was sort of like a habit of theirs to just get rid of some tension together.

Sooner or later him slipping up about his red feelings for Karkat was almost inevitable, and his sea dweller friend almost felt like Nepeta at that moment with the amount of encouragement she gave to Sollux to confess his feelings.

In the end they ended up on a compromise which is writting a love letter so at least he won't be bottling any of it up.

He wrote it and thought about destroying it immediately, but for some reason he decided to keep it. Maybe he just wanted to look back on it to see what a stupid idea it was.

But regardless he'd soon regret that choice. Because Karkat ended up finding it.

It was definitely tossed around, it also had rushed handwriting but it was still readable. As much as anyone with any esthetic sense would rather not.

Kk

Ii know you'll never 2ee thii2 thiing 2o Ii'm even a biigger fool pretendiing you wiill and adre22iing thii2 two you. But iif Ii don't do iit riight ff wiill prob2 2ay iit diidn't count and force me two write iit agaiin. You prob2 would 2ay the 2ame thiing now that Ii thiink about iit. Ii stiill have no clue why the fuck diid Ii agree two wriite thii2 2hiit, but 2iince iit'2 a good way two get you the fuck out of my thiinkpan 2o be iit. Ii'll wriite iit only once and you'll never catch me admiittiing two iit. 2o iit'2 a one iin never agaiin chance for you two 2ee iit. No? You're not readiing iit becau2e iit'2 ju2t for me two play pretend? Two bad. But Ii'll say iit anyway2. You're cute kk. Ii don't know how or when, but Ii do have red feeliing2 for you. Maybe one day when you 2top beiing 2o lame Ii won't be a2hamed two admiit iit two you lol.

Karkat had no clue what to do from that point forward. Since he clearly wasn't meant to see it he shouldn't bring it up, but at the same time he wanted to talk to him about it.

It was a hard choice to be made. So he tried to pretend to not have seen the letter. He failed at it miserably though.

Sollux didn't know if he should laugh at himself for not tossing that thing away or at Karkat for being clueless about hiding the fact that he knows.

But either way he wasn't going to just pretend nothing happened. If anything, he sort of forced Karkat to talk to him. And the two became matesprits.

[keysimash]

Hello!!

I do not want to be bothering or rude, I am just curious if you’ve had time or energy to continue Leave, I still love the story so much and am looking forward to find out how it goes!!

But if not it’s ok, I just hope you have a nice day no matter what!! <3

Short answer , it's not discontinued but idk when I will work on it again. Sorry to be a disappointment

Long answer you probably dont want to read

I hate it. I can't even read it. I like my story, I like the plans I HAVE for the story, I just.... cant read my own writing. And this isn't some kind of compliment fishing either, it's gotten to the point I dont even like getting nice comments about it on my ao3 inbox anymore.

I sit down to work on it and I just... can't. All I can think about is how cringy it sounds ... and how bad it is, etc etc

Logically I know I'm actually a pretty good writer. But all I see when I look at this shit is mistakes.

And I come across in my writing as... way too emotional and earnest? If that makes any sense. I've mentioned I never made a plot outline, that shit is sooo obvious when i read it. And how I changed the plot three or four times. And how I changed the plot every time I got upset.

I used to not give a fuck about appealing to other people when I wrote because I didnt have anyone whose opinion I cared about reading it but now I feel like I have to write it not shittily or I'll disappoint everyone and myself. And I'm not capable of writing it not shittily right now because I would

a) have to build off the disjointed skeleton I've already made that's got plot holes and mischaracterizations

b) start over from scratch

And I can't do it right now! I cant!

I keep thinking about how my best friend told me I shouldn't put vent art on the internet at all. I feel disgusting now almost. Like people that take pics of their cuts and post em. I know shes full of shit but I cant shake the feeling. That it's my fault if I trigger somebody. That by writing anything that isnt a joke or fluff I'm doing something gross and self-masturbatory and harmful. "If you interpret the characters in a way the author didnt want you're just wrong..." that's what she said.. Its kirby and Meta knight and magolor for gods sake. What am I doing trying to make a gritty realistic darkfic... from a kids game.... cringe.... (only me tho. Nobody else counts)

Even my other works for other fandoms, it almost feels like they're on a timer as soon as I post them. I go "I like that, that's good" and post, and then a few days later I'm like "oh . That's shit now" and it has nothing to do with engagement or anything, its just like an arbitrary switch flipped in my brain

The only time I was writing well and writing consistently... was when I was being abused... I feel like I've lost my spark ... because maybe the only time I can make anything good is when I'm under so much emotional pressure I feel like I'm about to snap.... but if that were true I should be writing right now haha.

And I can sit here and know all these things, that when I'm stressed my thought process goes all stupid, that I'm actually a good writer, that I'm not hurting anybody by the fic I post, that writing something shit is better than not writing anything at all, but it doesn't do anything to change how I feel.

But. I did say it's not discontinued, didnt I?

If its stressing me out so much well why dont I delete it, well the answer to that is I HATE HATE HATE when authors delete their good shit.... deep down I know a lot of people love my stories and that they have some worth... that's why I haven't deleted them all...

I love writing, still.... writing for cotl feels less bad than kirby cos.. it feels like its expected to be edgy and dark, so I dont feel bad about what I write until later at least... but I still love to write and create....

I just need some time... I miss writing kirby stuff but I just can't face my own writing. I cant face myself. And it order to start writing again -- I think that's my problem. I would have to forgive myself for not being perfect. I would have to admit that , like my writing , its okay to love myself/my writing even with the manymanymany .flaws.

I can't. Not right now. Maybe later tho

I didnt have that last revelation before. Not until I wrote everything out. When I was trying to explain all my feelings to someone else , I ended up explaining it to myself. This post was long overdue anyway

Sorry

[greetings-humans]

and it's not done wrong! that's the greatest thing imo. percy's reactions in the show make sense.

he's 12 and the adults around him either really really care (sally) or really really don't (school officials, gabe) and percy has no illusions about that, he doesn't think they care, he doesn't believe they don't want him to earn it, they just don't care. he's trying not to make his mom's life harder and disappoint her by getting expelled but otherwise, other than maybe chiron who still fumbled big time by the end of his mr. brunner tenure, percy couldn't care less about those adults in his life.

this last category is also emphatically not related to him, they are not his parents (he does not consider gabe parent obviously), the only one who could barely count as a mentor was chiron and only vaguely and for less than a year.

enter stage right the gods, who are parents and seem to. not care? when you're 12 and reasonably well-adjusted with decent parents, the concept that your parents don't automatically love and care for you is wild. like what???

and what's this they want the kids to do stuff for them???? they want,,,, the children to,,, help the adults by putting themselves in lethal danger? and they don't care enough to point at the child and say "mine"????? they don't even CLAIM the relation??? but they want their kids to help them??? or else death??? or something?? but like also they've been absent from those kids' lives???? what????

so initial confusion will naturally turn into anger because percy had to leave the queen sally jackson to the minotaur to go live in the world of these shitty parents????

these are really natural reaction on show percy's part, imo! and tho I don't remember enough of the lightning thief to tell you if we saw hints of this there, I think that when you have the finished creation you can always spot some good places in the early stages for some breadcrumbs leading to the end. pjo and hoo are finished and rick is writing cog now. the gods are shitty concept has been getting more and more prevalent and yeah. looking back why wouldn't percy act as he does in the show?

why should he care for the gods? to paraphrase percy from the show, annabeth (who he's know for less than a month!!) has done more for him than his literal dad has for his entire life. the concept of unclaimed children exists. one of the first things that happened when he got claimed was "okay so this powerful adult who barely acknowledges that he's you father needs your help and helping him will put you in lethal danger, but anyways it's mandatory".

so why shouldn't he hate the gods?

That writers room must’ve treated the Last Olympian as some sort of bible because they truly Get the idea that Percy does not like the gods. that he does what he does in spite of his opinion. They make sure that the audience knows that Percy doesn’t find this fair and that he doesn’t like this. That he and Luke are more similar then they expect.

[kalliyen]

Having a Procrastinator s/o <3

OT7 x GN!Student!Reader

Reader's Pronouns: They/Them/Their

Genre: Fluff, idk

Word Count: wc is for wimps (its there for each member)

Warnings: Mentions of cuddling, food, light scolding and procrastination~

Disclaimer: This is in no way directed to the boys irl. This is only a work of fiction. I repeat, a work of fiction. Thank you.

*not proof read*

A/N: i have my finals coming soon but choose to write fanfiction instead of studying Algebra #gaslightgatekeepgirlboss ✨✌

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ꕤ Lee Heeseung (234)

So, you were procrastinating for a project as a (course) college student

You haven't come out of your room in 3 hours and the only time you did was either go to the bathroom or bring some more snacks to your room to scarf down on

Heeseung, being the sweet boyfie he was, was very concerned for you.

"Sweetheart? what are you doing?"

"I'm finishing a project thats due at 11:59 later"

"why didn't you do this earlier?"

he fricked up.

as a procrastinator myself, you are to never ask a procrastinator why they haven't done their other task yet.

Giving him a glare that was not playful at all, he felt that he did something very wrong.

"I didn't get to do it because I was doing my other tasks for my other classes. And mind you, this is very hard to do."

More of Hee and the rest under the cut !! <3

"Alright, I'm sorry..I was just looking out for you.." He says with a pout and just as he was abt to leave ur room, you grab his hand and engulf him in a hug and apologize yourself.

"I'm sorry Hee, I shouldn't have exploded like that. Forgive me?" You say with the cutest puppy eyes you can muster

"All is forgiven, my love."

so what if you guys did the project together and then proceded to cuddle while watching murder mystery and falling asleep together so what if that happened

ꕤ Park Jay (184)

See, I think Jongseong is also a procrastinator himself so he isn't quite suprised when you're bolting out and in the room storming left and right getting the materials you need

He's pretty laid back

Until he realizes he also has an assignement due in a day and he's barely started on it

Panick mode ™

He hurriedly open his computer and starts doing research abt the topic and you stop in your tracks

You've never seen your boyfriend type so fast in his life

You swore you could see some smoke coming from his hands

"Babe are you also procrastinating?" "Yeah, I have this big scary term paper I have due in a day and haven't even started yet" he responds not sparing you a glance with how focused he is to finish the paper asap

So, you turn it into a little procrastination date <3

You reward yourselves to a feast (read: Jay's cooking) when you're both done with your tasks

It was a good weekend Y/n would say

They'd never procrastinate for a project as big as that ever again tho

ꕤ Sim Jake (202)

Jake was a very organized student, he doesn't procrastinate.

Smart student™

So he tries everything in his power to help you finish your term paper that you need to finish so your english teacher won't bite your head off

Maybe that was a little to extreme but you get the point right?

He also gave you a light warning and some tips on how to not procrastinate for things like these.

He'd give you little kisses with every sentence you finish

Like I mean, you love it but also don't

Because he's distracting you from finishing the paper!

You tell him that and he backs away a little but still holds you hand under the table

As to not get bored, he decides to read one of your math books

He remembers what it was like to be a student and struggle with these things and such

When he heard you sigh and feel your shoulders loosen up he knew you were done

"I'm done! I'M DONE! I FINISHED IT!"

"Good job Honey! I knew you could do it :D! Let's get some (fav.food) to celebrate!"

Again, so what if you tackled Jake onto the floor and gave him kisses so what

ꕤ Park Sunghoon (241)

Look, as much as I'd love to write for non-chalant bf Sunghoon who'd approach the situation calmly,

He wouldn't.

You were both in this project together and you were both screaming your heads of at each other

Your whole apartment complex was practically shaking with ur screams

"AAAHHH SUNGHOON WHAT DO WE DO THIS IS DUE IN A WEEK AND WE'RE ONLY A THRID WAY THEREEE"

"Y/N IDK WE BETTER DO THIS NOW OR WE'RE GOING TO BE KICKED OUT OF COLLEGE!!!!"

After that fiasco (and being told on by your old lady neighbor to shut up) you calm down and think of a more rational way to solve this

"I know. We perform some black magic and ask the dark lord to finish our project for us"

*cue y/n trying not to throw Sunghoon out of the window*

"that's impossible Hoon. Let's just start now and see where it goes from there"

"yeah that sounds more reasonable"

You end up finishing the project in 4 days <3

"see that wasn't so hard!" Sunghoon says, boastfully

"Hoonie we almost died. This is not something to be giddy about"

"Hey at least we finished the project already, right????"

"yeah i guess so, i just hope we end up having a good grade for it"

" so do i"

*Y/N and Sunghoon proceeds to sleep for 18 hours due to lack of sleep for the past week of being worn out college students*

ꕤ Kim Sunoo (175)

See, he's either also very organised or also a procrastinator

There's no inbetween.

So when he comes home from school seeing papers scattered on the living room floor

He knows whats up

"baby? Are you procrastinating right now?"

"yeah, sorry about the mess..It completly slipped my head I have a mid term this friday" You say sheepishly scratshing the back of ur head

"it's no problem sweetie, we all procrastinate sometimes!" He says with a bright smile

god u love ur bf so much its unbeliveable

He tries to help you in any way he can but he was also very tired so just ended up passing out from tirednedd

You look to your left and see Sunoo sleeping soundly on the couch looking pretty as usual

Feeling a little guilty, you get a blanket from your bedroom and drape it over his frame

You may or may not have gotten a sudden urge to study hard so you can repay your bf with helping u study

You aced your exam btw <3

go bestie

ꕤ Yang Jungwon (155)

Jungwon is the most responsible person I've ever come across in my life

So he never let's his s/o be a procrastinator

unless he's out of town for a bit and comes home to his s/o running around the apartment

calms his s/o down and then analyzes the situation

the most calm one out of the bunch

but also the most dissapointed one

but shows doesn't show it in a harsh way because he doesn't wanna freak you out even more

after he helps you he'd probably go over the things he said on how to not be a procrastinator

even if u didn't like doing it u still had too

Your caring and sweet and cute bf just wanted to help you!

So you accept <3

also doesn't gove you cuddles for 2 days

he says its 'payback' for procrastinating

like ok sir whatver u say 🙄

be glad y/n loves you to bits

ꕤ Nishimura Riki (136)

Ah yes, 2 high schoolers freaking out and cram studying for their end of the year exams

wasn't an unusual sight tho you guys always procrastinate

together <3

your teachers scold u both a lot tho

but hey you're both just two teens with no sense of time

at least i think so idk abt u

ok back to the topic,

you both are cramming for your upcoming Science exam

luckily, the topics were pretty easy for you so u decided to help ur bf to study

he was bery grateful dw <3

after the exams u both celebrated by playing Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros and sleeping alot

the members just see you guys collapsed on the floor from exhaust and leave you two alone lmao

9/10 experience would do again minus the procrastination

₍₍ ε(*˙ ꒵ ˙*)з ₎₎ ₍₍ ε(*˙ ꒵ ˙*)з ₎₎ ₍₍ ε(*˙ ꒵ ˙*)з ₎₎

HAHAHA I JUST POOPED 2 ENHYPEN FICS IN A DAY THE POWER I HOLD IS UNBELIVABLEEEE

If you enjoyed please rb! Thank you~ <3 Have a nice day ahead friend!

[dumbass-mha-simp]

Hawks x Reader: Bad Idea

Another self indulgent Hawks fic that I've literally had in my notes for months. He lives in my head rent free along with my other 22 fake boyfriend's because I'm ✨mentally unstable.✨ It is a song fic tho, Bad Idea ft. Shiloh Dynasty https://youtu.be/kH9hJnT7KkE

Tw: food, depression, Hawks is honestly just feeling it bro- same dude,

Word count: almost 2k? I think

Requests are open! Honestly I'm probably terrible but the only things I can think to write are those imaginary situations I put myself in

(Y/L/N)- your last name

(Y/N)- your name

Thoughts or emphasized talk are in italics

Also idk why but I imagine he removes his feathers to shower since they probably need different cleaning conditions and also they just seem like a hassle in showers.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Here he was, the number two prohero. Everyone assumed his life was perfect, anything he wanted served on a gold platter. He felt the guilt creep up into him.

I should be thankful. The thoughts ate away at his mind in the rare seconds he got alone. You shouldn't be so selfish. So annoying. So insufferable.

Takami pushed these thoughts back. "No one needs to know how you think, Keigo." He whispers out to himself in his office.

He scrawled at paper work, trying to not let the self depreciating thoughts feast away on his mind. Unfortunately for him, different thoughts came up.

His best friend, Rumi had this friend. (Y/L/N). Smart, attractive, sometimes a little rough around the edges, but amazing. He found his mind wandering to them all too often.

They were mostly unknown, despite their insanely strong quirk. They preferred to stay out of the lime-light, through that irritable exterior sat overwhelming anxiety and shyness. But they always denied it.

He stopped himself as he realized he's spent 10 minutes only thinking of them, a friend. Yeah right.

He lazily walked out of the office waving to all his employees as he made his way outside. His eyes slowly dragged to the darkly faded blue sky, dusted in clouds. Cold, tired, aching. Just how he felt.

He took a slow brisk flight to his house, feeling the wind bash his face and the air flow through his feathers. He gently placed a foot on the metal railing of his balcony, taking a deep step to the ground and opening the door.

The emptiness rung through his apartment like a blaring siren. You have everything. How can you still want more?

The voices in his head screamed and clawed their way out. You're nobody. No one ever loved you. You're so alone. You're nothing but a tool to the commission. You're actual character is useless.

He shed his coat, boots, and pants. Looking to himself in the mirror as he removed most of his feathers. He looked exhausted as he stumbled into the shower, numbly.

The next ten minutes seemed to elude him when he wondered how much time has gone by of him staring at the shower wall blankly.

He dried off a bit then looked around his kitchen for something to eat. Have I eaten today? The buzz and light of his phone on the counter startled him.

"Hey, Hawks." A single, simple message from (Y/L/N). Okay don't panic.

"What's up?" He replied swiftly.

"I had this feeling something was wrong and wanted to check up on you."

"Why would you think that?" He tried to play it off like it wasn't true without actually lying.

"I'm not sure. Do you maybe wanna join me?" You asked.

"Where?"

"Well, every once in awhile when I need a break I go and stargaze with a night picnic. It helps me relax, and if you think it might help I'd want to. I can tell something's off." You were always so convincing. It felt like you weren't too nosy or snoopy but you understood.

"Text me where to be and when?" He let out a gentle smile at his phone.

"The dollar store on 4th in 10 minutes? So we can choose some snacks together?"

"I'll be there."

Did Takami think any problems where going to be solved with some food in the dark? No. But would he skip the opportunity to be with you, to find out how he really felt when it was just you two? Absolutely not.

He landed down on the broken pavement outside of the old dollar store, scanning around to see you.

"Boo!" A bump from behind had him flinching to see the sound as you stood behind him giggling. "Got ya."

"Very funny (Y/L/N) the most amazing trick yet." He rolled his eyes with a slight smile.

"C'mon let's go grab a bunch of terrible snacks and call it a picnic, bird brain."

You two walked into the store and walked a large circle around it, choosing chips and candy and drinks at your leisure. Once you got to the counter, he fights you to his wallet.

"It's my picnic."

"And I'm the very special guest who was so generously invited. I'm paying." He grins as you pout at him.

Grabbing the bags you placed them in the back seat as you offered passenger side to him.

"I don't like cars."

"Why not?"

"Cramps my wings."

You look at him with the biggest puppy eyes you can manage. "You already agreed to keep me company and pay for the snacks, let me do something for you?"

"Fine, but only cause you're pouting kid."

He gently sits in your passenger seat as you strap yourself in and turn the car on. The car hums and the music playing softly on the radio are the only things heard. The peace feeling too good to break.

Once you pull your car up into the parking lot of a small park and grab your bags, you begin leading him to your usual place.

"Hold these." You hand him the bags as you jump and climb up on top of a big metal container. You peer over the side with big eyes and a smile as you say to him, "now hand me the bags and do what I did!"

He looks at you with a wide smirk before simply flying up to join you. "Or you can do it the cheater's way." You pouted and bumped his shoulder.

"It's not cheating, it's using my resources." He says with a triumphant smirk.

"Your cheating resources." You pull out your gummy candies and started eating as you leaned back till you were laying down.

"Do you like the stars, Hawks?" You say like your sleep talking, staring into the night sky.

"Keigo." He shifts to lay down about a foot away from you. "You can call me, Keigo. And... I don't think I've ever taken time to look at the stars."

"No sneaking out away from parents to sit on vans and stargaze? Or watching the sunrise with a partner while eating fast food?"

"What kinda date is sitting in a car for hours staring at the sky and eating?" He laughs.

"Ah one that never really happened, he just said he would. But never mind that repressed shit." A sad laugh forces itself out as you stare between the stars.

"Was he cute?" He tried to sound funny but it came out more sympathetic.

"Sometimes," you laugh with him. "But he had really nice hands."

"Hands? That's an odd thing to find attractive." He turned his head over to look at you as your eyes seemed to burn holes in the dark milky blue sky.

He continued laughing with you about this guy but couldn't help an overwhelming feeling of jealousy. Who was he? Did he look anything like him? Was this recent?

"Keigo?" A voice snapped at his train or thought, "Yes, (Y/L/N)?" He replied rushed.

"Do you want your mini cookies?" You ask looking to him with the bag.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks." He mentions grabbing the bag from your finger tips.

He ate his cookies and thought as you seemed either lost in your head, or lost in the stars.

Loving you would be selfish. As such a high ranking hero, he's made a target for himself and anyone around him. He's broken down, can't feel. You obviously have other people on your mind. Someone like you wouldn't be single long.

"When did he leave?" He blurts out without thinking. Maybe it's a sore subject-

"Long ago." You look lost, your eyes searching and wandering but never grabbing hold of exactly where you should be. "Why?" Well I guess if I'm gonna start prying might as well go all the way.

"He thought that maybe he could love me. But now that's just ridiculous," you laugh coldly. "Who would love me?"

"Falling in love with you seems like a really bad idea. But not on your part." He whispers into the wind, hoping it'll carry his words away from you.

"What do you mean?" You look completely confused, almost scattered.

"You're quiet, and I'm someone who puts a spotlight on practically anyone around me. You'd constantly be put in danger. Plus I'm arrogant and cocky, nothing at all like you." He acted like he could see the stars as you could. He stared into them finding any way he could to avoid your eyes.

"You could get hurt or I could annoy you." He whispers.

"I had no idea you felt that way, Keigo." You whisper back, shock keeping your voice quiet.

His eyes burned holes into the night sky, he felt he shouldn't look at you. The mental image of you already wouldn't go away.

"You wanna know something, Keigo? I can read people like books, I can read stars like stories, and I can read in-between lines like they were in bold font. But, you always catch me off guard. Reading you is like a mystery novel. Sometimes intense, sometimes peaceful, but always keeping me wondering." You smile into the stars, you can tell he desperately doesn't want to see your eyes. "You're always leaving everyone on the edge of their seat, and when you leave you can't stop thinking of the next time you'll come. What you'll bring."

"I....I don't think I understand (Y/L/N)-" Keigo's soon cut off.

"(Y/N)"

"Well, (Y/N)- I don't think I understand." He tries to sit up and look at you.

"You catch me off guard, something about you speaks to me in ways I know you never actually would. I can see it, the way you stumble or hesitate. I can tell somethings scared you into silence." You've never had much chance to talk about the ways you analyze people, you wanted to tell him how you could tell the way he acted wasn't always good.

"I think you might be reading too much into this, kid." He tries to intervene.

"I get if you don't want to tell me." You stared up at the stars, waiting for him to do the same. "You see there?" You pointed to a star. "That's a constellation."

"They just look like stars." He seemed a bit disappointed that he couldn't see stars the way you did, with such knowledge and wonder in your eyes.

"That's cause they are," you giggled to him, "it's not like I can actually see the pictures either."

"You.. you can't?" He looked to you confused but slightly hopeful, how could they look at them but not see too?

"That's the whole point, Keigo. It's being able to see what's not really there. Sometimes I stare into the sky hoping to see any semblance of hope, but that's not how it is. You have to teach yourself to look at what could be there." He stared to you, a small content smile graced your face. You were beautiful.

"(Y/N)?"

"Yes?"

"Maybe, loving you isn't such a bad idea.." he looked remorseful, staring into the stars. Maybe he could see it too one day.

"What do you mean?" You glace to him.

"You see so much, you can read and see the things I want to see. I want to learn, (Y/N). I want to see how you do."

The smile on your face spread.

"I'd love to show you."

[yeongwvnhi]

You and I on top of it all

This one is quite the brutal piece of work so proceed with caution and be mindful of the warnings. Do tell me if I missed something possibly triggering.

—

Pairing - Oneus Hyung line (only one makes it) x fem reader

Genre - Angst, Suspense, Suggestive, Horror, Gore

Warnings - murder, violence, blood, weapons, language, death, injuries, guns, shooting, graphic descriptions of murder and violence, romanticizing these themes for the plot

Taglist - @twancingyunhoe @runaway-fics @bearseokie @kingleedo @malzenn

Word count - 3k

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It was 11pm and you were hurrying down the street to get back home. You weren't planning on being outside when it started. Last year still left you shaking in your boots, but this year you will turn the table and stop being afraid. 

What exactly is it? 

It is the purge. The day every crime is made legal and services like police, firefighters or paramedics aren't available. 

Originally you were planning on just hiding out somewhere safe until the 12 hours were over but not this year. This time you wanted to let loose, go absolutely crazy and see where the night will take you. Maybe you'll find a companion or more? Maybe you'll die, who knows? 

Back on topic.. Why were you even out this late? Simple. You bought some nice weapons for tonight. What were those weapons? An array of knives, a bat with spikes and even a damn katana. This time you wouldn't hold back. 

A guy came your way and immediately changed course after seeing your array of weapons. This was exactly what you wanted people to do. Fear you, be scared for their life and just run as far away as they could from you. 

Eyeing the clock above your TV in the living room while taking off your shoes, you realize that it's barely 11:20pm. The fun would have to wait. 

With a shrug you move into your bedroom to put on tonight's outfit. You were going crazy tonight and no one would hold you back, not even your damn clothes. 

You have carefully picked out your clothes a few days ago just for tonight. All black to blend into the night, your casual tight fitting jeans and shirt and your newly bought jacket. There you would store all the knives since it had a lot of pockets. 

The sound of a notification from your phone made you stop examining yourself in your mirror and with an eye roll you go to check. 

Hwanwoong: Hey Y/N, I know that you will be partaking in tonight's purge… I hope you won't die so I can see you again soon.. 

Your best friend has always been worried about you and everything that could happen. 

You: I will be just fine, Woong, don't worry. You better be safe tho or I will kill you. 

After you sent your reply, you didn't bother to check if he answered. You wouldn't be taking your phone with you tonight. Everything else besides your weapons will be staying in your apartment tonight… besides your keys, you decided to give them to your friendly neighbor since he would be waiting out the event tonight. 

Once again your eyes find the clock and a small smile slowly crawls onto your lips. 11:30pm. Soon the fun would begin and you just couldn't wait to finally get your sweet, sweet revenge. 

You secure your sword around your back with the holster and then take your baseball bat. These spikes were so sharp and you couldn't wait to see the damage they would cause. 

The weight of your jacket slowly increased the more knives you put into the pockets and you were so full of adrenalin, to find the person who took everything from you. 

11:45pm, the crazed smile slowly made its way back onto your lips. Just a little while. 

You got up and put your also black leather boots on, tired of waiting for the chaos to unfold. 

With the baseball bat in one hand and your keys in the other you exit your apartment. You lock the door and go to knock on your neighbor's door. 

The man opens the door and you give him a less crazy smile upon seeing the fear in his eyes. "Hey Keonhee, don't worry i just came here to drop off my keys!" You say and hold up said object. 

The taller guy visibly relaxes and smiles back at you. "You scared me there, Y/N" 

"Sorry~" you chuckle and put your keys into his outstretched palm. "Please be safe, yeah?" 

Keonhee chuckles nervously and nods. "You too" 

"Oh I will" you reply, "I'm going to go now. I'll see you tomorrow at 12" 

He closes the door and you hear several locks clicking shut behind it, one after another. 

You swing the bat up and rest it on your shoulder, mindful of the spikes, and walk down the street. It was awfully quiet now and your gaze meets the giant digital clock on a huge building. 

11:53pm 

"Hey!" Someone calls after you and you halt in your steps. "Where are you heading to?" 

You turn around and look at the guy. Tall, black hair and also full black attire. "Why would you wanna know? But I suppose you already know the answer judging from your choice of clothing" 

He walks closer and you now fully see his features. He looks too good to be true. The black turtleneck sweater isn't helping your thoughts either. "You're right" he replies with a sinister smirk. "I'm also going to fuck up someone's life" 

You immediately felt drawn to him, he looked just as crazed as you right now. 

But that didn't mean you'd stay here any longer to chat away, no. It was almost time and you wanted to get your hands dirty. 

So you give the guy an almost too nice looking smile and turn back around. 

"Hey, where are you going?" He asks and you hear his fast paced footsteps approach you. "Don't just leave a conversation like that" 

You chuckle and start swinging your bat around. "I don't really care about conversations right now, pretty boy" 

The Guy scoffs, but you see his smirk in your peripheral vision. "So… are you out for someone special tonight? Or do you just want to blow off some steam?" 

"Does it really matter?" You question in return and meet his eyes for a second. "Also, who even are you?" 

"I'm Youngjo" He replies and shoots you a grin, this time less sinister. "And I guess it does? I could help you out" 

He did have a point, maybe he would actually be of help. "Fine" you nod. "Someone-" 

A loud alarm shakes the silence of the city, the purge has started. 

The two of you immediately look at each other with an excited expression. "Fuck it, let's spill some blood" he says and grabs you by the wrist, dragging you right into the chaos of people running around left and right. 

You manage to escape his grip and fasten your pace to match his. 

"Out of my way!" Someone yells and you see a guy running straight at you. 

No way you're having that shit tonight. "Fuck off!" You spit back and swing your baseball bat right at the guy's head. 

Pretty much to his horror because he can't stop and runs straight into your death trap. His skull smashes against your spiky weapon and you feel his blood splattering onto your face. 

Youngjo has stopped running the moment he heard you spitting back at that guy and witnessed the gory scene. He felt his heart skip a beat and met your eyes, both of you dazed.

"That felt so fucking good" You murmur and Youngjo nods eagerly. For that moment the two of you completely blended out the chaos around you. 

Until there were gunshots, that's when you reacted and pulled him into an alleyway, hiding behind the wall to not get shot. 

Youngjo cornered you against the wall, one hand beside your head for balance. He had his gaze fixated on your side profile while you were checking where the gunshots were coming from. 

"Hey" The tall guy mumbles and your attention belongs to him this instant. "I never thought I'd think that watching a girl smashing a guy's head in would be this hot" 

You click your tongue and roll your eyes, but can't help the smirk that appears slowly. "You're crazy" 

Youngjo's head falls down and he breathes out a chuckle before looking you dead in the eye. "It would be boring if I wasn't, wouldn't it, sweetheart?" 

You can't deny the tingling feeling you felt in your stomach at that and your free hand went up to the back of his neck. "Shut up" 

"Make me" 

"What the fuck are you doing?" A new voice interrupts the two of you. "Wait- Hyung?" 

You turn to look at the guy, annoyance written all over your face for having interrupted the moment. "I fucking hate you for this" 

The guy chuckles nervously and Youngjo leans away to stand at a normal distance. "Why are you here, Seoho? And where is Geonhak?" 

"You didn't just ask me that" he retorts and holds up a bloody machete. "Obviously I'm out for blood tonight" 

A shiver runs down your spine, the vibes that guy gives off are insane. Quite literally. 

"Oh" Youngjo's mouth forms an o-shape. "I see. But now where is Geonhak?" 

"Ah! Right" Seoho piques up and nods his head in the left direction. "He started chasing some weirdo who was about to get a bit too comfy with this girl" 

"Still the nice guy even during a time like this, huh?" Youngjo laughs. "Anyway, we should continue our little fun game now, shouldn't we?" 

You grin and pick up your bat. "We should just go as a group, covering more people n shit" 

"What's your name?" Seoho asks you out of the blue, nodding at your suggestion. 

"Oh, I'm Y/N" You reply before making your way out of the alley and onto the street. "And I see a group of people right up front" 

"Let's spill some blood then, shall we?" Youngjo smirks. 

The two guys follow you and you hear one of them clinking blades together. 

"Hey you!" You shout and the group of four, three guys and a girl, look at you. "Wanna die?!" 

"What are you gonna do, little girl?" One of the guys shouts back and you halt in your steps. 

With a dark chuckle, you open your jacket and pull out a knife. "I'll fucking kill you" is your only response as you throw the knife at him. It connects with his thigh, making him scream in pain and fall to the ground. 

"You have good aim, doll" Youngjo mumbles while passing by you. "Now I'll finish him" 

"Leave some fun for me too!" Seoho whines and just runs at the group of people, slicing the girls throat with his machete with ease. 

Her blood pours out of the massive gash and you hear her gurgling on the liquid. 

One of the two unharmed guys squares up against Youngjo, but he's at a disadvantage in height. 

Youngjo makes quick work of the guy, pulling out a knife from a pocket on his pants and stabbing him in the chest. He pushes the guy away from him and he collapses on the corpse of the girl. 

The fourth guy must've ran away so it's only the injured man on the ground and your little group. 

"Finish him! Finish him c'mon!" Seoho jumps around and you look at Youngjo, but he just nods towards the guy. Your sign to kill him. 

"Too bad that you will die now, huh?" You say and lunge the bat right into his face, killing him right on the spot. "Bastard" You spit and pull out your knife from his thigh and put it back where you took it from. 

"Jesus christ" Seoho murmurs and you look at him. "That was fucking hot" 

You shake off the remains of the guy's brain from your bat. "Shut up" you hiss, slightly flustered. "We should find your friend instead" 

"Right" Youngjo agrees. "Let's go" 

He leads the way with Seoho and you following behind. 

"So… are you out for someone special tonight?" Seoho asks and looks at you through his sharp eyes. "You look tense, darling" 

"I probably won't find him anyways, I'm tense because I don't know if I will die tonight" You give him your answer and hold your bat just a little bit tighter. "So I'm going to use that as my fuel to create as much chaos as I can" 

"I see~" He chirps and focuses back on Youngjo who's still leading the way. 

After a bit more walking, the two guys spot their friend sitting next to a wall, gun in hand and blood on his hands and face. 

"Geonhak, what the fuck happened" Youngjo asks him straight away and kneels in front of him. 

"I killed that asshole, but I also accidently shot the girl. They're both dead" he mumbles, but a satisfied grin forms on his lips. "Now she won't suffer anymore" 

"Hey get up, we gotta create more chaos!" Seoho urges and you exhale a breathy laugh. 

"I think there are a lot of people in the inner city. It's getting louder the closer we get" You say and nod in the vague direction. "Let's go guys" 

"Ooohh sure~" Seoho immediately agrees and Youngjo also looks pleased with your suggestion. 

"Oh you guys brought a companion?" Geonhak asks and stands up. "What's your name pretty girl?" 

You shake the hair out of your face and scoff at the compliment. "I'm Y/N. Now let's go!" 

"I know a shortcut" Seoho exclaims. "It's just-" 

"No! Your shortcuts are dangerous as fuck!" Youngjo rejects his suggestion. 

"C'mon let's just go this way" you tell Seoho. "We can take your shortcut on our way back, alright?" 

"Fine" He grumbles in response. 

Your group quickly gets to the big commotion in the inner city and you just decide to let hell break loose. 

Geonhak starts shooting whoever comes into focus, Youngjo aimlessly stabs people in his way and Seoho attacks everything in his way. 

"Let's dance little lady" some weirdo says and faces you, pipe in his hand. "Got ya!" He yells and strikes at you. 

You dodge in the last moment, swinging your spiky bat at the dude's face, making him stumble back in surprise. "You got a mean one there, hun. Would be a shame if it went out of your hands, right?" 

"Shut up asshole" you hiss and and take another swing at him, this time grazing his arm with a spike and making it bleed. 

"That hurt you stupid bitch" he spits with venom. "I'll end you" 

"Good luck" you huff and take a step back. 

"What-" before he can finish his sentence, you hear a gunshot and blood splattering everywhere. 

"Nice shot Geonhak!" You shout and give the man a thumb up. "Saved my ass" 

After that little exchange you quickly go on and just smash in people heads left and right. 

One was a tough nut though. 

"You've got some nerves, little girl" a tall man smirks after he smacked the bat out of your hands and a good distance away from you. "Attacking others from behind. Tch" 

"Stop talking, bastard" you growl and pull out your katana, glad you took it with you. "I'll kill you" 

"Try to~" he laughs and throws a punch, but you step aside at the last second. 

"Go to hell!" You yell and swing your blade at him, slicing his cheek and leaving him in shock. 

"You'll pay for that you damn bitch" 

After that, a painful shout came from behind you and you heard Geonhak calling out Youngjo's name. 

"Shit-" you go to turn around and leave this fucker behind, but he kicks away your legs and you fall to the ground. 

"Fuck you" you huff in pain, the katana luckily still in your hand. That's when you see your three companions. 

Geonhak has Youngjo's head in his lap and repeatedly smacks his cheeks to get him to wake up. 

But he won't. 

He's dead. 

"Oh noo~ Did your friend die? What a shame" the man mocks and laughs. 

You clench your hand around the handle of the katana and roll onto your back and thrust the blade right into his torso. 

"What-" He coughs in shock before falling to the floor backwards. 

You just stand up and run towards the guys now, falling to your knees next to Youngjo's lifeless body in Geonhak's lap. 

"Who did this?" You ask, emotionless, eyes void of anything but rage. 

"I did" Geonhak mumbles, hanging his head. "I wanted to shoot the fucker you were fighting, but Hyung caught the bullet" 

You remain silent, but you see Seoho behind Geonhak going rigid. "You… killed Youngjo Hyung…?" 

"It was an accide-" 

Geonhak couldn't finish his sentence. Seoho slit his throat right there and the green haired man's blood splattered your already dirty face even more. 

But you weren't fazed. You couldn't help him anymore anyways. 

That's when you noticed just how quiet everything suddenly was, so you looked around and saw corpses upon corpses. 

"When did this happen?" You ask and look at Seoho, his blank stare not bothering you at all as you stand up. 

"I killed the last person before I saw you guys here" He answers and you step away from the two men on the ground, dead and bleeding out. 

You heard Seoho walking up next to you. "So this is it? We go home after this and try to get our lives back together?" 

"Not necessarily" he says, "we can stay together" 

"What do you mean?" 

"People who kill together, stay together" he explains and smiles. He actually looks cute and for a second you forgot that he's a serial killer. 

But so are you. 

"That sounds nice" you smile back. 

"So now it's you and I on top of it all" He whispers and pulls you in close by the waist. "You're mine" 

Your hands wander up to his shoulders and you move closer. "Only yours" you mumble against his lips and he closes the gap, greedily moving his mouth against yours. His grip on your waist tightens and pulls you impossibly closer. 

You'll never forget this day. 

[armsdealing]

~pretends to be on anon~ so, ive noticed that you have some werewolves/ animal shapshifters on your roster. Are they all part of a bigger story/do any of their stories cross paths etc? Are there any that shouldn't cross paths ( a la enemy packs, omegas, etc) any support groups for my werefolk and the like?

curious (not-so)-anons / accepting / @eye-demon

thanks for your question!!! and what a great question this is, in fact :// i do have a bulk of werefolk and animal shapeshifters and all around people with some kind of connection to animals or an animal, and it’s not a coincidence at all. i’ve been thinking about why this is a lot, lately, and it might be because it’s something i definitely enjoy exploring, not just for the straightfoward aspects of it (the cool powers, the nifty animal forms) but for the symbolism as well. i see these kinds of characters as an interesting way to explore duality and inner conflict and intense emotions. in the event that i happened to write a book featuring any of these characters, you could probably, just as easily, read this ability of theirs as an analogy (or maybe an extension) for much more “real” issues (such as anger, grief and abandonment problems) that they have going on in their lives. and it would be a perfectly valid interpretation. i’ll probably talk about this more coherently at some later point, but i just wanted to share this since it’s an interesting – and very recent – realization i’ve had. at this point, im sure it makes zero sense tbh. 

to actually answer your question, a lot of these characters know each other one way or another, while some others are connected only incidentally. the reyes family is the one i talk about most frequently on this blog. they’re werepumas, a species whose lore is unique to me and to this blog, and that i made with the desire to make something that could be like the werewolf, but (in my eyes) better, since it’s more personal to the american (particularly, the south american) experience, the way the werewolf stems from european folklore. the puma is an animal unique to the americas, and so the werepuma is a species unique to this continent. the reyes in particular have a very interesting story that im still polishing the details on, but it has a lot to do with their special position in the supernatural landscape as one of the bloodlines for this very rare species that are still prominent and very much alive. the reyes are a big family, and so it includes characters that aren’t werepumas, such as saul, the adopted child of one of marcelo’s aunts and so a cousin. saul was raised amongst people that aren’t from his species and that shows in his mannerisms and the way he carries himself, and while his upbringing was great it also pushed him into trying to become part of a pack later down the line, just because, just to try to see what it’d be like. enter the predators pack, a group ive had for a long time too. saul belongs in the new york chapter, led by domingo. there’s a conflict there, for sure, even if the reyes and the predators keep a cordial relationship. pumas are very territorial and wolves don’t stay behind (the species don’t normally like each other) and so there’s bound to be some tensions over the perceived “theft”. nevertheless, the tensions will eventually resolve once the predators’ intentions are made clear. at the end of the day, the reyes are just protective of saul. 

that’s just one of the most prominent examples that connects a lot of my characters in some level. there’s other connections, like the fact logan is dating one of jerome’s cousins, and so is in turn connected to marcelo in some level, but their relationship is vague if not non-existant. charles, being a mutant, tends to exist on a different verse than the rest of the supernatural characters, and has in fact a werewolf verse where he is part of the predators pack, as a beta (he is also related to jackson, and the beckett siblings, who lead the mother chapter of the predators, in kentucky). and then there’s the nueva religión verse, which is a gang verse involving primarily werefelines, and it includes joaquin, who is not so much a werejaguar as he is a god first conceived to have a jaguar shape, and who only later on developed a human form. he’s kind of similar to fenrir in that way, but i made joaquin before i considered writing fenrir. in the NR verse they could feasibly interact tho, since it’s kind of american gods-esque in the sense that all gods exist at once. 

i don’t know if ludo would count as a shapeshifter. he is a minotaur which is a problem on its own right, but it does have an animal somethin’ so it should be also worth mentioning that he not only connects to red but to marcelo, except it’s only through marcelo’s maternal family (who are criminals ludo does regular business with) and his paternal family too (since ludo buys chichí from them to use in various weapons for supernatural creatures). 

as for people that shouldn’t cross paths… they kind of have neutral to positive relationships when they’re connected, so it’s hard to say. i do have garrett, who is part of logan’s background and just an evil werewolf all around. needless to say if he tried to fuck with either the reyes or the predators’ business he and his mess of a pack would be Obliterated. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: And the scale is what? Like a kidney or a 🚬? Janis: don't need anything off you but a lie Janis: so standard, yeah Jimmy: go on Janis: if any of my family ask, and it'll probably be Grace Janis: can you tell 'em I'm at yours, yeah Janis: they won't come over or anything cringe Jimmy: Alright Janis: sure? Janis: cool Janis: I owe you Jimmy: Standard, you said it Jimmy: meant to be with me #always Janis: you get I mean like, until further notice, right Janis: if I'm gone too long and they get aggro, just tell 'em I've gone but yeah, long as you can Jimmy: I weren't reckoning you were nipping out to get a coffee at one of my rival's Jimmy: even Gracie ain't that on one Janis: not that loyal either, sorry to report Jimmy: 💔 Janis: tell her how devvo you are, make her life Jimmy: gonna have to if you leave the fans in a content draught Jimmy: how would I ever cope with becoming #irrelevant Janis: despite the fact that's exactly what you're after, supposedly Janis: and I'm there, remember, content as usually Janis: use your artiste imagination Jimmy: Now I've gotta do all the faking myself Jimmy: what kind of girlfriend Janis: I said I owed you Janis: now you get it Jimmy: You'll more than owe me when I have to seriously draft your sister in as your stand in Janis: don't Jimmy: Too many white redheads in this town Janis: I'm serious dickhead Janis: don't get with my sister Jimmy: It weren't a serious consideration Jimmy: literally no point to this if I were gonna Janis: yeah well I don't ask your reasons you don't ask mine Janis: might've changed Jimmy: not that fucking hard they won't have Jimmy: you got the lobotomy not me Janis: alright alright Janis: 😏 Janis: just can't stand to see her happy, yeah Jimmy: can't stand to see her, tah Janis: my sentiments exactly Jimmy: Better come back in a bit then Jimmy: so you won't have to see me with her Janis: 😑 stop it Jimmy: What? Janis: putting that mental image in my head Jimmy: I mean, dickhead, are you alright or what? Janis: ain't gonna off myself Janis: not that cunt, I wouldn't put that on you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: idk how to answer that Janis: don't see the point in lying but not asking this favour of ya as no cry for help Janis: alright, nothing I can't handle Jimmy: very comforting that Janis: you shouldn't of asked Janis: nothing you can do either, don't worry Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: 'course there is Janis: fake boyfriend chivalry is cute and all Jimmy: I know but stop flirting with me and you can be here instead of just saying you are Janis: 1. no one is flirting with you Janis: 2. can't sleep in your shed Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: [tells her where there is a front door key] Janis: what will your dad reckon Janis: don't you need to ask Jimmy: He ain't in Janis: yeah but I told you I need more than a coffee break Jimmy: Yeah, so you can have my room Janis: alright Janis: just 'til you get back tonight Jimmy: Til whenever Jimmy: I'll go in my brother's Janis: nah, I ain't gonna put you out Janis: I appreciate it though Jimmy: You ain't Jimmy: but alright Janis: come off it Jimmy: you Janis: what? Jimmy: I get that you scare easy, rich girl, but I'm the only 👻 round my house Janis: I ain't scared Janis: least of all of your gaff Jimmy: stick around then Janis: they been in today? Jimmy: what do you reckon? Janis: they clearly don't give a fuck Janis: idk what would it take for them to piss off, that's the truth Janis: if I knew well Jimmy: sure I could do it Janis: like the optimism Jimmy: full of it, me Jimmy: 🌞 Janis: don't make me laugh Janis: 🌚 me Jimmy: there's no universe we ain't starcrossed 💔🎻 Janis: actually a tragedy Janis: I'll put it in my note Janis: f u god Jimmy: I'll post it for you, babe Janis: that's real romance Janis: 😩🤤😍 Janis: makes a girl wanna stick around Jimmy: and I ain't even said how much I'd miss you yet Janis: do I get a preview or have I gotta die for the 💕 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: Do you want me or do you wanna die? Janis: that's a big question Jimmy: I've got a big 💕 Janis: baby Jimmy: 😘 Janis: give me a night Janis: yeah Janis: then I can work out what next Jimmy: Take a night Jimmy: It's alright, I said Janis: don't wanna owe you too much Jimmy: So scared, you Janis: 😠 Jimmy: well cute Janis: I may owe ya Janis: but I will punch you Jimmy: I ain't scared, only you Janis: should be Janis: I have your keys Jimmy: I don't have a car for you to fuck up with them Jimmy: and there ain't fuck all for you to steal Jimmy: just a 🐕 Janis: you reckon I'm such a 🐰boiler Janis: should be worried for that poor pup Jimmy: that's your sister Janis: see, not a good replacement Jimmy: never said she were Janis: hmm Jimmy: Less need for a filter, like Jimmy: that's what I said Janis: you see her in person ain't ya Janis: every need for the filter, thanks Jimmy: 👩🏽 🤳🏽 Jimmy: what I'm bothered about Janis: we ain't identical Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: Stop misunderstanding me, dickhead Janis: stop comparing me to her Janis: bad idea Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: such hard work, you Janis: you signed up for it Janis: and invited me over Janis: you must be cracked Jimmy: Do you wanna be uninvited or what? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: believe that when I don't hear it Janis: bollocks Janis: I never speak Janis: complained as much before Jimmy: I change my mind, you've complained before about that, mate Janis: just so unpredictable, babe Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: stop flirting with me Jimmy: you signed up for it Janis: true Janis: that's my answer Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her] Janis: pretty good, mate Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: you want me to walk this dog Jimmy: such an athlete 💕 Janis: you know it Janis: counts towards my IOU? Janis: like 25% maybe? Jimmy: Piss off Janis: worth a shot Jimmy: next time hit the 🎯 Janis: damn Janis: tough love Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: so hot Jimmy: I know Janis: that's how your shifts going then Jimmy: when don't it? Jimmy: 😎🚬☕💰💰💰 Janis: new bio Jimmy: it'll be a big hit on tinder Janis: probably just do the last 3 Jimmy: can't rip off your bio, bit rude Janis: feel free Janis: goals! Jimmy: We that type of couple, yeah? Janis: #lookingforathird Jimmy: don't tell 💀👑 though Janis: I'm not going to jail if she pegs it in the sack, fuck that Jimmy: I'd break you out, baby 💕 Janis: why are YOU not going to jail too Janis: admitting you ain't pulling your weight 😏 Jimmy: They'll deport me back to Manchester #duh Janis: ugh, can't fake ldr Jimmy: you'll have to come with when I rescue you then Janis: works for me Janis: get out of here after-all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: have to let me tag-along 'til I learn the language tho Jimmy: fuck that, I'll crack on teaching you when I get back in a bit Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: [okay but hear me out, what if she lowkey just stayed at his on and off the whole time] Jimmy: shouldn't be no challenge for a 🧠 or 👅 like yours, Judith Janis: [legit for her running away vibe that she would so I buy it tbh] Janis: I didn't wanna disrespect your culture Janis: being polite, like Jimmy: What culture and what decent manners? 😏 Janis: I'm catching on Janis: get me a flatcap wearing pipe smoking man in no time Jimmy: Ian is bound to show his face eventually, being my dad and the one on the lease an' all Jimmy: crack on Janis: assuming he don't wanna head back north though Janis: unless he's on the run Jimmy: he don't Jimmy: 💔 for you Janis: population ain't that low Jimmy: your chances ain't that high Jimmy: grim up there, ain't you heard? Janis: and I ain't Janis: queen of the north, bitch, watch me Jimmy: won't be there to 👀 you binned me off Janis: you Janis: teaching me northern now so you can ditch me then Jimmy: you Jimmy: 'cause you wanna chain a pipe with some 👴💕 Janis: your type, first of all Janis: so welcome for me being so accomodating about the type of third we want Jimmy: hot's hot, babe Jimmy: can't fight it Janis: 😂 Janis: then don't Jimmy: Alright Janis: good Janis: sorted Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: mhmm Janis: tip you later Jimmy: if anyone else said that they'd be out on their ear, you know Janis: I'm special, you know Jimmy: Me and everyone who follows me 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want a post too Janis: hold up Janis: [some post about waiting for him to come back and a selfie on his bed like hey] Jimmy: well done for finding the right bed Janis: tnat could've been awkward Janis: where does your da sleep, actually Jimmy: garage Janis: ahh Jimmy: not in a car, like Janis: 💔 shame Jimmy: for his birds, yeah Jimmy: can't drive themselves away now Janis: 😬 Janis: who am i meant to be Janis: btw Janis: if I bump into the man Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: idk, a valid one? Jimmy: Why ain't you who you always are? Jimmy: a more valid one that Janis: I meant more like, do you have your fam or your socials or no Janis: am I your fake girlfriend to them or just a mate, like Jimmy: can't keep them off Jimmy: must be my 🥇 content Janis: who could resist Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: [sends a 🔥 sext cos #mood after what she posted] Jimmy: treat your followers, mate Janis: 😏 Janis: too kind Jimmy: it's been said Janis: should run a hotline in your spare time Janis: 💰💰💰 Jimmy: How do you know I don't? Jimmy: other than the state of my room Janis: yeah aside from that Janis: literally that special, obvs mate Jimmy: Gotta keep you in 🚬 Jimmy: might bankrupt a lesser lad Janis: psh, I ain't the one with the habit Janis: and why I picked you, babe 😘 Jimmy: of all the bollocks to fake, Jasmine Janis: what Jimmy: I've 👀 yous and 👂 about the pipe you crave Jimmy: can't fool me Janis: 1. filth Janis: 2. very in to be a social smoker, just playing along with what they'd do Jimmy: 1. you better not be filthy in my bed Jimmy: 2. I'll pick you up a vape pen on my way home, yeah? Janis: 1. I'm not gonna hot box your room, better house guest than that, just Janis: 2. if you want me to peg you, just ask Jimmy: 1. Free house law, wouldn't be nowt I could do Jimmy: 2. sure that'd be very #goals but you're alright Janis: 1. see, you want me to really, perv Janis: 2. leave it at the smoke shack then, boy Jimmy: 1. you wanna really Jimmy: 2. what kind of boyfriend if I don't bring you 🎁 Janis: 1. even if I did, get what you said about this dog, won't leave me alone, what's it called? Janis: 2. bring me a ☕ Jimmy: 1. Too late to call her Mia or? Jimmy: 2. What do you actually want then? Janis: 1. 😂 no the 🐶 is too cute for that don't be mean Janis: 2. idk, what kind of smoothies do you do, something like that Jimmy: 1. You're right, she ain't half starved Jimmy: 2. 👍 Janis: 1. have to call RSPCA on you, not #goals Janis: 2. tah Jimmy: Be a quality break up story that Janis: shelf it for later Janis: no dogs actually harmed though, tah Janis: not co-signing that Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: fine Janis: you got a brother and a sister, right? Jimmy: You had a nose around my house or my 📷 IG? Janis: found the right bed on my 2nd attempt Janis: and pretty sure you've mentioned them Janis: but yeah, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't stalk all your socials Jimmy: A sane one Jimmy: yet to have one of them so crack on Janis: if I was sane they'd call me a nun Janis: gotta play to the audience Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: for you Janis: find one one day Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: cute Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: convincing denial, babe Janis: get it, you want me to tell you how cute you ain't, that's your kink Janis: busy though Jimmy: I don't want you to tell me what you're busy with in my bed though, tah Janis: walking this dog Janis: or getting it ready to Janis: idiot Jimmy: Don't bother, it's alright Janis: may as well, no Jimmy: If you want a 🥇 over my sister whose job it is Janis: oh will she be pissed off Janis: can always have 2 walks Jimmy: cute Jimmy: scared of her an' all? Janis: yeah obvs Janis: just trying not to be a dick to your fam and all Janis: they ain't done nothing to me Jimmy: Yet Jimmy: she could take you in a scrap, mate Janis: alright doubt that Janis: not gonna fight a child either you dick Jimmy: 🙀 you Janis: ain't you got hipsters and basic white girls to serve Jimmy: but my 1st priority is always you, girl 💕 Janis: thrilled about that, obvs Jimmy: I know Janis: feel the love Jimmy: 😘 Janis: you sure you wanna give up your bed Janis: I got places I can go Jimmy: I get it, it don't have a princess canopy Jimmy: you'll live Janis: but will I sleep Jimmy: alright you can borrow my 😎 Jimmy: stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: and I ain't begging, let's get that clear Janis: told you, got options Jimmy: and I told you, alright Jimmy: you can calm down now, my dear Jimmy: the better option is you 📷🐕💕 Janis: just saying, don't make me feel more like a cunt than I already do Janis: but obvs Janis: suckers for cuteness every time Jimmy: Leave it, I'll live too Jimmy: just don't lose the 🔑 that's our Cass' job an' all Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: #whenshedon'twantyouto💀💀💀 Janis: 💕 Janis: wait 'til I've worked on your old man so I've got an in, like Jimmy: he'll give you an alibi for 🔪🔪💀💀 long as it's only me Janis: that's the lowdown on them then Janis: what about your brother, he gonna come for me too? Jimmy: Depends, you got it in you to piss off a 6 year old or not? Janis: don't really do kids Janis: can't be as annoying as the ones I know though, not related to me for a start Jimmy: Related to me though 😏 Jimmy: just admit you 💕 me, babe Janis: shut up Janis: I'm related to my siblings and I'm great Janis: poor kid stands a chance Jimmy: He's related to Ian, no he don't Janis: bummer Janis: take him with when you get deported? Jimmy: quickest way to get arrested again that Jimmy: use your big head Janis: pretend he's yours Janis: who'd know Jimmy: Piss off I'm northern not a paddy Janis: alright and your ex ain't got a kid nah Jimmy: that's a 👶 not a kid Janis: true Janis: yeah 9 might be insane Janis: can you grow bum fluff, age yourself up before the 🚬 do Jimmy: I dunno Janis: tell him he's like 4 Janis: buy you as 18, sorted Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: that your way of telling me you wanna go pub in a bit then? Janis: duh Janis: i am part paddy Jimmy: How big's the % Jimmy: might be a dealbreaker Janis: 50% Janis: 25% scouse 25% brazilian Jimmy: Made you do maths in the holidays 😏 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: *👻 an all Jimmy: any chance you can say you're 💀💀💀 so I can leave? Janis: well my irish fam ain't even from this part of ireland but keep that to yourself 🤐 already got the ropes out, like Janis: only so many funerals I can have but sure Jimmy: I'll keep your real kinks to myself too Jimmy: put the ropes away though you'll wind up the 🐕 Janis: 💕 Janis: boo, no fun Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Best fake boyfriend you've ever had, sweetheart Janis: competition of one but 🏆 Janis: there you are Jimmy: tah Janis: fake win for a fake boy Janis: only right Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: about to pull a fake sickie, me Janis: that is actual smart though so Jimmy: and you owe me some fake nursing Jimmy: might as well cash in Janis: yeah? Jimmy: send me one of the nudes 💀👑 has sent you so I can 🤢 Janis: 😂 Janis: just don't leak 'em Janis: for my eyes only, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: I promise Janis: [sends her the latest god knows what Mia has been sending for the lols] Jimmy: she's Janis: in love with me? Janis: yeah Janis: don't be threatened Jimmy: but my fragile masculinity though! 😱😱😱 Janis: I'll nurse it better baby Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: put the outfit on, I'll be there in a bit Janis: 😏 Janis: alright Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: [is there when she gets back from walking Twix because it was a long walk and he's a sneaky speedy mofo] Janis: ['fancy seeing you here' 🤓] Jimmy: [hands her the smoothie he's made specially] Janis: [is doing a #skeptical face but changes it to a 'not bad' when she tries it] Jimmy: [gives her a look like go on then, tell me what's wrong with it but goes to put kettle on for his self #northern] Janis: ['ain't just resident eye candy then, good to know'] Jimmy: [does a bow cos nerd] Janis: [just giving Twix love whilst he makes tea, shouts through 'so you gonna show me where it hurts or am I guessing?' like you don't need to play nurse yet eager bitch] Jimmy: [you know he's making her one even though she's literally got a smoothie so who else is eager, comes through with said tea after a bit and puts the mugs down so he can put a hand over his heart like an even bigger nerd] Janis: [make pouty poor boy face 'might be incurable, that'] Jimmy: ['if you can't do it, you can't' shrugs] Janis: ['making it a challenge?'] Jimmy: [sips tea with an eyebrow raised like a sassy bitch] Janis: [lols, 'okay, so your face muscles are working fine, I get it' casually squishing his face 'cos cheeky too] Jimmy: [when you give her a little smooch but it's FINE cos you've got your phone out okay] Janis: [#allforthegramsureboys how many people really wanna see you making out erryday like some yeah you fine but still] Jimmy: [we know you ain't even holding that phone properly boy and then you won't post it cos you'll say it's too blurry or whatever] Janis: [one of these days you gon just drop it and the pretense but not yet] Jimmy: [soon kids, just hold on] Janis: ['how's the heart now? just challenging to go further oh lads] Jimmy: [puts her hand over said heart like that's nbd and not at all dangerous, with a shrug like I ain't dead yet so] Janis: [we all know it'd be beating pretty fast so bold Jimothy, just looking at her hand on his chest 'cos 'real question is, do you want it to be better or do you wanna..' when you trail off but we get it] Jimmy: ['more goals if I die for you, Juliet'] Janis: [when you're taking that as a yes #bothproblematic and you just kick it up to an actual make out sec again phone is out but who cares] Jimmy: [both of you just going for it like this isn't a dangerous game, impressed that you ain't dropped that phone tbh] Janis: [also your teas going cold, jussayin, when you just straddle his lap but don't sit] Jimmy: [OMG THE TEA] Janis: [my boo like nooooo stop rn and finish that brew] Jimmy: [gonna have to microwave that in a bit] Janis: [least Twix can bark 'cos jealous and they'll think someone's about to run up in so even if they ain't it then breaks the moment] Jimmy: [Good 🐕 yeah let's not have Cass descend yet cos she can always cockblock another moment should we need] Jimmy: [just drinking that tea casually now like nothing happened okay] Janis: [my thoughts exactly, at least Janis can love said cockblocking dog now 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [#true love] Janis: [doing that post about how he's poorly/playing nurse etc gotcha covered boy] Jimmy: [doing flirty replies so you can safely flirt lol] Janis: [so blatant lads] Janis: you seen that lot today? Jimmy: [nods] Janis: shoulda messaged us Janis: final fuck you to 'em before I go, like Jimmy: soz there were a rush on Janis: no worries, got a day now Janis: drop in tomorrow, undoubtedly be there Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just picked up his lighter and are playing with it Jimmy: brb Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [comes back in a bit with art hoe supplies so he can draw her] Janis: ['homework?'] Jimmy: [shows her what he's doing] Janis: [when you try to be casual and 😏 about it but are immediately like oh and self-conscious of how you look rn 'am I meant to pose or what?'] Jimmy: [just shrugs because he's helpful like that lol 'Do you want it to turn out decent or not?' because challenge always like be my muse bitch] Janis: [🙄 'if you wanna be goals you'll draw me pretty no matter what' but is her usual effortless model self 'cos 'course she can] Jimmy: [🙄 back 'By now I've had plenty of practice at faking I reckon you are, no challenge or owt'] Janis: [sighs 'must be nice having good taste, even if it's pretend, welcome' 😘] Jimmy: [sighs back dramatically without looking up from the page 'be nicer if you stopped moving your lips, dickhead'] Janis: ['mr serious artiste needs to concretrate, okay, okay' mimes zipping 'em] Jimmy: [makes a scoff news but in the next second you know he's doing a cute lil concentration face] Jimmy: [*noise] Janis: [stealth taking a picture of that 'cos is cute] Jimmy: [chewing on that pen like a cute mofo also how confident not to use pencil boy] Janis: [like you've drawn her before lol Jimmy: [giving yourself well away] Janis: [what does one even do when getting drawn, just getting so comfy on that couch, so confident bitch] Jimmy: [at least his doodle style wouldn't take an age] Janis: [trulyfe] Jimmy: [lowkey shoving it at her like well I'm done and soooo not bothered haha] Janis: [when you can't be like I LOVE IT 'cos 1. a picture of yourself 2. you're not meant to be bothered either but you do love so you're like 'you're actually good then' like fairplay] Jimmy: [when you can't deal with even such a lowkey compliment so you have to leave the room and pretend like it's cause the dog is being so annoying like fuck off to the kitchen Twix you slag but also the awks is radiating off you so she's gotta be aware] Janis: [just pocketing that drawing, like] Janis: wanna 🚬? Jimmy: [when you don't answer you just head out there] Janis: [leaves it a hot sec like well am I invited or nah but then decides to go out regardless] Jimmy: [sit on that trampoline kids] Jimmy: [when you light up for her even though you feel awks cos habit] Janis: [takes it and lies back on the trampoline looking up at the sky and smoking] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she can't see him do it as if he didn't spend however long doing that when he was drawing, okay boy] Janis: ['s'comfy' and closing her eyes 'cos in my mind she's probably had a couple nights out in town already 'cos usually how she'd do before running] Jimmy: [takes off his jacket or hoodie or whatever and spreads it over her like a blanket cos nerd] Janis: [when you just allow that] Jimmy: [Twix just jumping on her because can't get a moment gdi] Janis: [at least she can get her to settle next to her like shh] Jimmy: [just texting Cass like where are you btw because can't join in with the snuggle] Janis: [a fair point also gotta tell her dis bitch staying over like] Jimmy: [really lingering over this convo because what to say or what to do, god bless him] Janis: [she's just oblivious soz lol] Jimmy: [after a while just poking her like 'You hungry or what?'] Janis: ['oi' but getting up, leaning on her elbows 'yeah, I could eat, want me go get something?'] Jimmy: [pushes her back down but gently cos he's gonna go and does] Janis: charming Janis: wanna go twos at least Jimmy: Obviously not, 'cause yeah I am such a 👑 charming, like Jimmy: I gotta pick my brother up anyway Janis: don't be stealing my shoes Janis: know they'd probably fit you but still, not even fake like that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I've touched your feet and I wouldn't be caught 💀💀💀 Janis: nothing wrong with my feet Jimmy: If you want sell pics to pervs, crack on Jimmy: #notmykink Janis: make a lot off that Janis: I don't need it Janis: 👑💰 Jimmy: hand it over my way then Janis: called being a pimp, that Jimmy: alright so if anyone asks, this convo's fake Janis: alright, rebrand to manager and you get 20% Janis: all in the details, boy Jimmy: Am I signing in 🩸 or that only the 💀💌? Janis: what you so hesitant for Janis: my fucking feet Janis: 🗡 least you can do is suffer Jimmy: I were wondering how much of my bodily fluids you're gonna want over the course of this bollocks Janis: don't be so crude Janis: talking about making softcore fetish porn here, not your emissions, thanks very much Janis: be professional Jimmy: become a nun after you 💔 me not before Janis: you can't 💔 Janis: become a priest if you want access to that untapped source of 😻 Jimmy: You, dickhead Janis: not gay Jimmy: No shit Janis: shut up Jimmy: you Janis: you, dickhead Jimmy: You're a bigger dickhead Janis: awh, it's mm if at all, don't worry 💕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: how long you reckon you'll be Jimmy: Depends Janis: yeah but Janis: rough estimate Jimmy: Yeah but are you gonna tell me what you wanna eat or have I gotta guess? Janis: get whatever you lot want Janis: I'll eat anything Jimmy: Then I'll be a bit longer than it takes 💀👑 to slide in your DMs whenever you post but not as long as it takes her to take no for an answer Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: gonna go for a run then Jimmy: I won't let the 🐕 know 💔 Janis: can't keep friends, me Janis: soz babe Jimmy: my fault, should've warned her what you're like Janis: you'd have to know for that Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: at it again, you Janis: what, we mates now Jimmy: who's asking? Janis: who do you think Janis: 🐕 hasn't mastered the phone Jimmy: I don't reckon you have any need to ask, Jennifer Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Stop trying to friendzone me, babe Jimmy: It ain't #goals Janis: you're ridiculous Jimmy: I ain't the one asking questions I know the answers to Jimmy: such a girl, you Janis: and I'm the know-it-all Janis: ok bighead Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna share the 🏆 Janis: you who don't wanna share Jimmy: What you on about? Jimmy: I love sharing, me Janis: nah Janis: ain't that bad a roomie, like Janis: don't ask gracie though Jimmy: don't ask her round, don't ask her questions, you don't want much, you Janis: shut up Janis: how often you have to see her, welcome the break Janis: I would Jimmy: I do Janis: exactly, don't complain, boy Jimmy: Or what? Janis: plenty of ways to shut you up Jimmy: Go on then Janis: 🔇 Janis: feel that mute Jimmy: 🎻🎻still playing on Janis: sorry what was that? Jimmy: come here, grub is Janis: okay, be right there Jimmy: 😘 Janis: don't make me 🤢 into it like Jimmy: but that sounds so hot 💕 Jimmy: bit rude of you to take the spotlight though Jimmy: it were my sickie Janis: oh yeah, soz Janis: be a better patient and I'll be a better nurse Jimmy: be 🥇 and it wouldn't matter Janis: weren't me, was the dog Janis: but okay, round 2 Jimmy: ain't even fed me 🍇 or nowt Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: 😂 you aren't a roman emperor Jimmy: I'm on my fake deathbed here Janis: so I've gotta spoil you, yeah Jimmy: do something Janis: been trying Janis: saying, have your bed back, I'll take the floor Jimmy: I don't want my bed back Janis: tell me what you want Jimmy: I have done Janis: get the grapes then shall I Janis: brb, detour Jimmy: come and eat, dickhead Janis: well alright Janis: later then Jimmy: I don't even like 🍇 alright Janis: see, how can I win Janis: honestly, setting me up, shame 😏 Jimmy: I'll spit them out off 📷 Jimmy: we can make it work Janis: you baby Janis: you can swallow Jimmy: alright, I'll do it for you 💕 Janis: true love Janis: [show up for this dinner moment] Jimmy: [Bobby and Twix casually cockblocking but not cos he made the kid sit up the table #smart while they can stay on the sofa where they make all their mems but Cass not because we may need her to actually in a bit] Janis: [good thinking boy, also Janis casually breathing a sigh of relief 'cos feels weird meeting his fam whilst it's fake tbh, not Ian fuck Ian but rude on the kids, like] Jimmy: [can you remember his house layout like was it open plan or what was the situation?] Janis: [nah we did a more closed off moment 'cos a rented house, like they had a lil hall, the garage off to one side, then the lounge then the kitchen with a table Jimmy: [okay yeah I do vaguely remember the sims house now] Janis: [so tuck in lads] Jimmy: [when it should be more awks than it is #foreverthemood] Janis: [moves so fast 'cos you so extraaaa] Jimmy: [so comfortable with each other even with all your #issues lads, love it] Janis: [#fated] Jimmy: [when you go get her a drink so you can check Twix ain't stole all Bobby's food and generally be a good big brother on the low] Janis: [yes, tis important, can't be allowed to just chill like you ain't got responsibilities] Jimmy: [she can just hear them being cute in that kitchen like] Janis: [a moment, good thing Bobby likes her when the time comes because she's not so extra with kids and in his face] Jimmy: [not always a 😒 sod, are you Jimothy? lol it's my fave when they are such a cute lil fam unit bye Ian] Janis: [we know you soft boy, and yas casually kick him out of his own home #notsoz] Jimmy: [he's back and he's raided his shit dad's stash cos never too early #fuckyouIan] Janis: [raising your brow but doing a golf clap #approved] Jimmy: [doing a cheers at her] Janis: ['you slipped the kid a nightcap, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['You wish' 😏] Janis: [😳😒] Janis: ['I meant, what passes as parenting 'round here, dickhead'] Jimmy: [to answer her question he goes to clear the table cos the little bab wants to 🎨] Janis: [get your art on babby] Jimmy: [such an unspoken I do, dickhead if there ever was one] Janis: [so domestic] Jimmy: [comes back to drink that drink and put some bollocks on the TV that neither of them care about] Janis: [standard, when you've basically downed yours 'cos nervous energy] Jimmy: [gives her a look but doesn't say anything] Janis: [a 'what?' look] Jimmy: [one back but we know he means what's wrong] Janis: [shakes head like don't worry, I'm good] Jimmy: ['Do you wanna go to my room?' Oh the MANY layers of meaning in that] Janis: [when you shrug 'if you like' but you clearly do 'cos you're halfway up] Jimmy: [when you bring more drinks as a shameless excuse to follow her cos you don't know if she meant she wants to be alone or she wants to be alone with you and you can't ask] Janis: ['purely medicinal, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod] Janis: [shrugs 'better than grapes' then puts out her hand 'do I get one?'] Jimmy: ['do you want one?' but in such a flirty manner that there is no need for] Janis: ['you know I do' matching tone 'cos obvs] Jimmy: ['take it then' boy you better stop] Janis: [does, sipping maintaining that eye contact honey] Jimmy: [likewise because gotta] Janis: ['stay' when you gotta add, quickly after a pause 'or I'll feel bad'] Jimmy: [when you make yourself comfortable cos you can make a big song and dance of doing it and hide how much you're dying rn 'can't have that, meant to be me' does the fakest cough of all time and 😏] Janis: ['oh right, yeah get in then' making a thing of getting your phone out and ready to give yourselves some time 'cos ultimately you're gonna hop on that bed and straight up put his head in your lap so you can take a pic stroking his hair] Jimmy: [when you pretend like she's got something on her face and you've gotta get it before any pics are taken but we know there isn't anything there and the boy is just being extra] Janis: ['better?' is she referring to her face or how he feels, we'll never know] Jimmy: [responds by taking her hair down #for the aesthetic bitch we all 👀 you just wanting to run your fingers through it bye] Janis: [still just stroking his hair but pulls it (gently calm down) when he takes hers down 'this is about you, not me'] Jimmy: ['it's about you an' all' when you gotta pause cos calm down with sounding like you care and also how much you wanna make that true in a sexy way 'whoever's story it ends up on'] Janis: [nods like alright and also what can she trust herself to say] Jimmy: [casually taking his top off like oh we should redo all of that as if anyone cares that much about the details #shameless] Janis: [when you're like true though and pull down whatever bottoms you have on like, gotta have that skin to skin moment bye] Jimmy: [trying not to die or look at her too shamelessly and failing at both lbr] Janis: [when you do an instagram story purely so you can kiss his forehead] Jimmy: [kill me tbh and I ain't even there] Janis: [how you gonna slow this down lads hohum] Jimmy: [literally cos we all know how he wants this his head in her lap situation to end and it isn't with a picture] Jimmy: [at least we have the kids and dog to cockblock] Janis: [true facts, gotta keep it family friendly] Jimmy: [me just forever being like how far can we push this before it's too far haha] Janis: [s'the point baby] Jimmy: [I'm thinking] Jimmy: [we need something #intimate to happen and bonus points if it's the first time too but idk] Jimmy: [not the #cute moment I was trying to think of but #duh while we've got them here we should do the ultimate playfight cliche since on a bed it's BLATANT and like she could poke him as a trampoline throwback cos they're still just lying there together #casual and be all I thought you'd fallen asleep cos pisstake at how tired he always is and of course like I said playfight ensues and we've got all that good shit like him tickling her and her squirming way more than necessary 👀 you both so of course he pins her down but not really cos we all know you could escape easily if you wanted to 👀 you still and SO much good eye contact and he pulls her hair and she bites her lip and he stares at it but OBVS before they can kiss Cass storms back through with a front door slam that puts Grace's school trip one to shame and has Twix wilding] Jimmy: [which leaves him nothing to do but say fuck's sake with more feeling than anyone has ever for all the reasons and go downstairs to talk to her aka have a row cos she's always in the mood and so's he now] Janis: [A+ idea boo] Janis: [whichever door they ain't at, she goes out] Jimmy: [don't blame you remotely girl] Janis: [lets some time pass] Janis: if you want anything bringing back, lmk Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Janis: what does that mean, easy enough question, ain't it Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: that I've gone out, and if you need some milk or some shit, I'll bring some back later Janis: not offering to do a drugs run for you, soz Jimmy: and I've been out so what the fuck else would I need Janis: alright, simple no would suffice Jimmy: Would it? Janis: try it and find out Jimmy: You wish Janis: 🙄 Janis: not that arsed Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: sounds like it Janis: your lack of manners ain't my concern Janis: didn't ask you to say thanks or anything Jimmy: You can have it anyway Jimmy: tah for doing one when I'm up to my eyes here Janis: yeah, you're welcome, sarcasm ignored Janis: nothing I could do Jimmy: try it and find out Janis: like what, read your brother a bedtime story whilst you bollock your sister Jimmy: like not take the 1st chance you can to fuck off Janis: was giving you space to sort it out in private, actually Jimmy: bollocks Janis: how is that bollocks Jimmy: how ain't it? Janis: did I look ready to go out to you or what Janis: not got anything else to do in this town tonight Jimmy: Wouldn't know, didn't get a goodbye in Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: You pissed off 'cause it got too real for you, owt else is bollocks Janis: you reckon that all you want Jimmy: Deny it all you want Jimmy: you can be full of chat about 'how this will only work if...' and how we need each other but you ain't standing by it Jimmy: gotta keep me in my box and that ain't the 4 walls of this house, yeah? Jimmy: Like I said, too real Janis: Stop being dramatic and chatting shite Janis: if that were it, I wouldn't offer to come back, would I Janis: I'd go, as planned Jimmy: Then what? Janis: what I said, dickhead Janis: I know what it is when everyone knows your family's shit Janis: I was getting out the way Jimmy: That were nowt Jimmy: you're gonna need a thicker fake skin, girl Janis: shut up Jimmy: Funny how you don't get in my way when there's washing up to be done, rich girl Janis: yeah, you caught me Jimmy: dry handed Jimmy: I know, like Janis: you're so unfunny it's unreal Jimmy: unreal is right Jimmy: you reckon you're getting my best material Janis: please, save it Jimmy: please, give me your permission again Jimmy: desperate for it, me Janis: no shit Janis: total gimp, you, s'obvious Jimmy: I get it, you want the mental pictures Jimmy: gotta do something with the alone time you've given yourself by doing one Janis: Means I've got 'em Janis: you owe me another lobotomy, or an acid deep clean Jimmy: put it on my tab, babe Janis: take it off mine and we're quits Janis: better idea Jimmy: Piss off Janis: I get it, you want me forever in your debt Jimmy: 'course I do Janis: mhmm Janis: like I said, transparent 👻 boy Jimmy: buy us 🚬 and I might let you back in 🧛 girl Jimmy: how's that for clear? Janis: pretend I don't know how much you want me back, crystal 👌 Jimmy: that's the 🐕 sweetheart, it ain't me Janis: whatever, the washing up moan was more convincing, babe Jimmy: done my convincing for the night, haven't I? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: keep it to yourself Janis: you ain't the only lad Janis: sure they'll find it very #relatable Jimmy: shut up Janis: 😂 Jimmy: such a dickhead Janis: you love being the best boyfriend in town, don't you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: you know the drill Janis: sure do Jimmy: You not pulling your weight only makes me look better Jimmy: so understanding and 💕 all that bollocks Janis: fuck off Janis: I do well more than you, boys just get sucked off for doing the literal bare minimum in any scenario, especially not being a total twat to girls Janis: don't get it twisted, dickhead Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for the dance floor, that's about it Janis: bullshit Janis: you've got the easy job Janis: I've turned every bitch from saying I'm gay as a diss to being scared I'll steal their lad in no time Jimmy: You had one rumour about you 💔 I've got loads Jimmy: gotta keep up with them and prove them wrong Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: you don't listen as well as you reckon Janis: 💩 Jimmy: might be 'cause you had my 👂s off Janis: get over it Janis: how you ever cope with having a real girlfriend Jimmy: never baby 💕 Janis: idiot Jimmy: stop flirting with me for 1 sec OMG Jimmy: proper sweet talker, you Janis: about as delusional as her Janis: and as much chat Jimmy: actually 💔 now Janis: ikr Janis: imagine actually being her Janis: gutting Jimmy: you're alright, tah, I won't Janis: but you love the pain Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Better ways to get a dose of it, like inviting you down the pub Jimmy: coming or what? Janis: cute 💕 Janis: guess so Janis: have to disappoint some lads but that's just how it is when you're so in demand Jimmy: so much enthusiasm be still my 💘 Jimmy: one on the corner, I'll be the mug getting them in Janis: 👍 Janis: not been gone that long Janis: remember what you look like Jimmy: #unforgettable Jimmy: send tweet Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll sign off on that Janis: pretty odd looking, it sticks with you Jimmy: You can do better Jimmy: with insults and lads obvs Janis: 🤷 I mean Janis: I'm sure you can get lads too, mate Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: 😂 that's why you wanna go pub Janis: how rude to invite me Jimmy: you wanted a third, babe Janis: well we gotta agree Jimmy: do owt to please you, you know that Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: cute Janis: don't reckon there's any fitting another person in your bed though Janis: have to wait Jimmy: the lounge has got loads of floor space, be alright Janis: oh right, lock the dog in the kitchen and the kids in their rooms Janis: it's a party Jimmy: 🤞 Ian's in here having an after work #sesh so I can whip his 🔑 off him an' all Janis: oh, a good point Janis: no one needs that Jimmy: Our 🎉 been pissed on 'cause I don't 👀 him Jimmy: @iantaylor8 do one, mate 👍 Janis: put a DND on the door Janis: old school Jimmy: DNR on the 👴💕 Janis: standard practice when you're 😈 Jimmy: you stopped blagging you're 😇 now then? Janis: can do both, multi-talented Jimmy: Good Jimmy: dunno how I feel about the end of an era Janis: you like good girls, huh Janis: don't be spreading that about me, tah Jimmy: don't get #badder than my ex so from now on, yeah Jimmy: but alright, your secret halo is safe Janis: 🍻 drown those sorrows, I'm nearly there Jimmy: had loads of 🍺 and 👴💕 already tah Jimmy: you'll have to go some to keep up Janis: slag 😏 Jimmy: don't be spreading that about me Jimmy: fighting lasses off every day as is Janis: you poor thing Janis: did you not think about just going gay Janis: fake gay, that is Jimmy: I know 🎻🎻 things I do for you, Jules Jimmy: just ain't believable that Janis: what, you're SO straight 😂 Jimmy: I mean, this lad at work is a right stunner but getting him to be my fake boyfriend would be a bit harder than it were getting you to make 😍 at me Jimmy: he's proper busy with the ☕ Janis: piss off Jimmy: needed a rich girl with nowt to do Janis: don't need to repeat myself, thanks, see above Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't smirk at me cunt Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 then Janis: go away Janis: was a school trip, no one had anything better to do Jimmy: come here Janis: outside Janis: got your cigarettes Jimmy: [appears like oh hey just casually sticking his head out the door and looking around dramatically like ?? cos nerd] Janis: [🙄 'you really are a shit actor, you know'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'got everyone I need to fooled'] Janis: [a shrug 'if you say so' and holding out the pack, which she's already taken one from] Jimmy: ['you just heard me' takes one obvs] Janis: ['what's that count for' when you've bought your own lighter so you've lit your own #ultimateshade] Jimmy: [🙄 how weird it'd feel to just light his own at this point like] Janis: [awkward] Jimmy: [awkward silent moody smoking ftw] Janis: [always] Jimmy: [leaning against the wall to show how #overit you are, oh life] Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: thanks to me Jimmy: and what? Jimmy: 👏 Janis: begins with a t Jimmy: you are being a twat, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: very clever Jimmy: 🏆🧠 Janis: go celebrate then, dickhead Jimmy: gimme chance to finish my 🚬 damn girl Janis: [walks further away to finish hers] Jimmy: [walks up to her cos that dickhead] Janis: ['What part of this aren't you getting?'] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like what] Janis: ['I said, go away, remember'] Jimmy: ['what's that count for, you said that an' all, remember'] Janis: ['you're so fucking- annoying'] Jimmy: ['Is coming here gonna make me any less annoying?'] Janis: ['what?'] Jimmy: [gestures for her to come in the pub and have a drink with him] Janis: [when you're just looking at him exasperated af but then stomp in before him] Jimmy: [gets drinks and puts hers down in front of her like there you go without asking what she wanted, bit rude] Janis: [doesn't say thanks, obvs] Jimmy: [when you've swapped awkward silent moody 🚬 for awkward silent moody 🍺] Janis: [#goals lmao] Jimmy: [truly] Jimmy: You're Jimmy: [when you deliberately are vague af] Janis: go on Janis: say what you wanna say Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: [when you shake your head like NOPE abort mission] Janis: fine Janis: [🙄 and getting up to get more drinks] Jimmy: [forever not realising drinks aren't a good idea you two, god bless] Janis: [when you're probably chatting more to the bartender than you are to the person you're with rn oh lads] Jimmy: [when seeing that'd put you in an even better mood which is great Jimothy thanks so much] Janis: [coming back, putting the drinks down, then going straight to the bogs like brb] Jimmy: [you know he'll have probably downed that by the time she gets back #suchfun] Janis: [back like okay] Janis: how many you had? Jimmy: [shrugs because not enough clearly] Janis: cheat Jimmy: 1. didn't accept no challenge Jimmy: 2. rebel with only one cause, remember Jimmy: 3. you famously don't play by the rules, why should I? Janis: 1. you said catch up Janis: 2. how can i Janis: 3. dickhead Jimmy: I said you'd have to be going some Jimmy: and you will Janis: Oh, will I? Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: crack on Janis: wow love it when you get all demanding Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Missed you too Janis: 'course Janis: 💘 Jimmy: [just on his phone like a rude bitch, I'm like LORD let that booze kick in soon please] Janis: [lol like boy you asked her here, twice] Jimmy: [HONESTLY give it up bitch you're ridiculous] Janis: 💬 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: your turn Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [goes] Janis: third? Jimmy: Why you trying to make me do maths in the holidays? Janis: the maths is would you bang the barman or nah Jimmy: would you? Janis: [shamelessly staring like 🤔 at this poor man who's probably 30 odd and not cute enough to go there like soz] Janis: not by first choice, nah Jimmy: There's your answer then Janis: considerate as ever, darling Jimmy: owt to please you, I said Janis: I know Janis: but we know what I said and all Jimmy: weren't listening me Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [puts drink in front of her with a look like you alright then?] Janis: [look back like are you? but nods too] Jimmy: [drinking instead of answering] Janis: ['I can go, if you've got shit to sort'] Jimmy: [shaking his head so casually but the 👀 are like DON'T] Janis: ['good, break my heart if you sent me back to that lot' smiles weakly like joking but not really] Jimmy: ['What kind of dickhead would take the only job you've ever had and turn it round on you, rich girl'] Janis: [🙄 'imagine'] Jimmy: ['don't wanna, it's bloody tragic'] Janis: [kicks him under the table, but not full pelt lol] Jimmy: [throws a beer mat at her with an oi but also not that hard obvs] Janis: [just ripping it up casually] Jimmy: 🎊👰💕 Janis: [😏] Janis: lemme know when you meet her and I'll practice my overarm Jimmy: throw it over whoever you wanna bring back, gimme the warning Jimmy: 🤞👴 Janis: [lols] Janis: [takes a big look around and shakes head like nah, not feeling it] Jimmy: I get it, Ian still ain't showed 💔 Jimmy: I'll get some 🎻🎻 on the box for you, mate Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: after careful consideration, I can't hack being your step mum, thanks but no thanks Jimmy: take the 🐕 leave the rest, I know Janis: nah, your sibs seem fine too, sure Ian is the daddy I've dreamed him to be too Janis: it's all you 💔 Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Poor baby Janis: want comforting again yeah Jimmy: Depends Janis: yes, it will be me doing the comforting Janis: can't guarantee anyone else at such short notice Jimmy: but are you gonna do what you did before or have you got new tricks? Janis: Depends Jimmy: On how much time you can blag for yourself by borrowing mine? Not much, girl Jimmy: not if you're using that one any road Janis: no Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: what? Janis: on what angle you're hitting 📸 Janis: only so much the Instagram guidelines allow for Jimmy: that'll be every 💕 Janis: then what do you expect Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🥇 for the 'gram and 🥇 comforting ain't the same thing Janis: shocking, I know Jimmy: I said nowt about the 'gram that were you Janis: Why ever else would we do it? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gives one back] Jimmy: might fancy snapchat Janis: only if they pay Janis: 60/40 me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 Janis: don't mean I work for free Jimmy: send me a bill then, babe Janis: after Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What were you gonna say Jimmy: When? Janis: Earlier Janis: you never said what I was Jimmy: nowt Janis: bollocks Janis: you can say it Janis: heard it all before Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: leave it out Janis: fine Janis: drink up Janis: [goes bar] Jimmy: just Janis: don't bother, why'd you tell the truth anyway, yeah Jimmy: take whatever you said about me and replay it in a northern accent Jimmy: that'll do Janis: non-committal enough Janis: idek what I said so 👍 Jimmy: sorted, like Janis: sure Jimmy: I actually dunno though, alright Jimmy: what you are Janis: racist Janis: after you made me break down my heritage too Janis: plain rude Jimmy: bit rude to say I made you, Jill Janis: well, you to a T that Jimmy: you reckon you've got me to a T, yeah? Janis: want me to say I can't work you out and all? Jimmy: Do you want me to chat bollocks or leave it for you to do? Janis: chat something Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos why am I here otherwise Jimmy: you wanted a drink, you've got a drink Janis: when did I ask for a drink Jimmy: no need Jimmy: I dunno how to describe you in one word that don't mean I know nowt Jimmy: could've said pisshead for a start Janis: yeah you reckoned I smoked as well Janis: nice one columbo Jimmy: and as I'm so wrong you won't want one Jimmy: [struts out] Janis: I'm gonna drink yours, twat Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: well convincing it's only social, that Janis: what do you want me to say, I'll piss in it Janis: not that committed to fucking you up Jimmy: can't ever just leave it, can you? Jimmy: goes for nowt Janis: you started it Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: how did I? Janis: you wouldn't tell me what you said Janis: now you've pissed off Jimmy: I fucking Jimmy: I went for a smoke 'cause I can admit it's a habit Janis: Well I'm not gonna lie 'cos you wanna hear I got a drinking problem or some shit Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I've got other ways I deal with my shit, alright Jimmy: and I'm not trying to get an invite on a run, alright Janis: What you saying Janis: smoking isn't your thing, you don't own it Jimmy: it ain't yours either, you said Janis: I can do it as and when I want Jimmy: 👏🏆 Janis: oh, fuck off Jimmy: make up your mind Jimmy: you were trying to kick off at me for leaving your side a bit ago Janis: I'm fucking tired Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Let me finish my drink that you better not have touched and we'll go Janis: You can stay Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: okay Jimmy: [reappears to down that drink like come on then] Janis: [when you go to grab his hand instinctively 'cos ages of people watching you but then drop it like it's hot like shit] Jimmy: [when you just take her hand again anyway like you gotta drag her away from here kicking and screaming lol instead of the fact you know she wants to leave so badly that you didn't even sit down to neck that pint] Janis: ['when you get up in the night, don't stand on me, like'] Jimmy: [It ain't me with the freakishly long legs, girl. How do you reckon I'm gonna make that happen from the next room?'] Janis: [pouts] Jimmy: [gives her a look like ?? but less dickhead-ish than he's been doing it] Janis: [shakes head like nevermind] Jimmy: [cups her face because he can pretend he's being fake with it if he needs to even if the genuine soft tones of his voice could give him away if he knew how much of a #softboy he is 'what, babe?'] Janis: [acts like she's gonna bite his hand literal but just pushes it away hastily 'nothing, I thought you were staying'] Jimmy: ['I'll have the floor then'] Janis: [shakes head 'don't be stupid'] Jimmy: ['You'] Janis: ['s'your bed, dickhead'] Jimmy: [You're tired, dickhead. Just take it off me'] Janis: ['can sleep anywhere, like'] Jimmy: ['my bed'll suit you alright then'] Janis: [shakes head like no point arguing on this anymore] Jimmy: [gives her a look like too right there isn't cos you're having my bed, end of discussion] Janis: ['don't sleep on the floor' what does that mean what are you wondering what do you know] Jimmy: [nods which is about as cryptic, oh lads] Janis: ['your sister beat you in a fight then too?'] Jimmy: ['you saying you fancy your chances?' it's really hard to make everything a question omg] Janis: [😏 'only heard her so I ain't making any bets with you, tah'] Jimmy: [😏 'spoilsport'] Janis: ['cheat' tuts like honestly] Jimmy: ['don't be throwing words like that about out loud, tah'] Janis: [looks around dramatically 's'fine, don't reckon they're tailing us'] Jimmy: [takes her hand again and like swings it how you do to a kid while he also looks around dramatically] Janis: ['left your brother at home, mate' but not pulling away or stopping him ok] Jimmy: [when you'd normally have some #bants about that but you're tired too so you're just walking and handholding nbd] Janis: [a nice lil moment] Jimmy: [I feel like the pub ain't that far from his house so may as well enjoy that while it lasts kids] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [getting back and not knowing if your dad is home or not #joys (we know he isn't but Jimmy don't have that luxury) so you immediately get tense af] Janis: [awkward, get you up in the room girl] Jimmy: [when you have to go check your siblings and tell them you're back cos you all have separation anxiety but lowkey so your fake girlfriend don't think you're weird] Jimmy: need owt? Janis: nah, I'm good Janis: thanks Jimmy: [bringing her water anyway cos you don't want the night to be over yet in case she's gone in the AM #blatant] Janis: [just smiling like 'I'll give you 5 stars'] Jimmy: ['hang on, it ain't vodka, like'] Janis: ['lucky I don't throw it in your face then' 🙄😏] Jimmy: ['least I'd impress you by catching it in my mouth if it were'] Janis: ['right little optimist, you'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['what other tricks you got then, boy?'] Jimmy: [Shrugs 'Don't have a dog to perform myself'] Janis: [yawns half shade/half actual] Jimmy: [when you're just leaving like okay then] Janis: ['oi'] Jimmy: [when you've basically got a hand on the door to go but you still turn around because of course you do] Janis: ['...night then' like that weren't all bitch we all know it] Jimmy: [You gonna be cold? It's april boy I doubt it but he's taking off his hoodie or jumper or whatever soft thing he's got on and putting it on her because just he just wants touch her without making that obvious but also CARES bitch] Janis: [nods all the same 'tuck us in then'] Jimmy: [does obvs, picking her up and carrying her there first if he needs to because idk if she's stood up like him by this door or wut] Janis: [allowing it 'cos I wanna] Jimmy: [when you open your mouth to say about 40000 things but you can't so you just close it again like nothing to see] Janis: ['yeah' 'cos same boy, same] Jimmy: ['I were just wondering if I should take your breakfast order but depends if I pull another sickie or bother to go in' boy you were not such a lie but that is a good question of what to do with tomorrow I'll give you that] Janis: ['make a thing of it and they might send you a fruit basket, or a search party, risk you could take, like' shrugs] Jimmy: ['if the search party's headed up by my best customers that's a massive risk, management not as much' shrugs back and once again attempts his exit] Janis: [turning over like okay night 'smoothie was good' re. if he does go in] Jimmy: [stopping like this is a mansion instead of a box room 'we can make a thing of it either way, if you want'] Janis: ['that'll be alright, yeah' when you're saying that into your pillow like hope you can hear] Jimmy: [when you nod but she can't see you] Janis: [let him go hoe] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he does but do a little time skip to later because he can't sleep obvs and I have no chill] Jimmy: Hey Janis: what's up? Janis: beside you Jimmy: you an' all Jimmy: why ain't you asleep? Janis: sleeps for the weak, like Jimmy: gimme my bed back then Janis: I said you could have it from the off Jimmy: Go to sleep, dickhead Janis: why Jimmy: 😴💤 Janis: I know you didn't start a convo just to see if I was asleep or nah Jimmy: might've done Janis: could've popped your head 'round the door Janis: or made a shit joke about snoring keeping you up Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: 🐕 snores louder than anyone and she's in here anyway Janis: cosy Jimmy: I'll chuck her in with you if you're 💔 Jimmy: and awake Janis: if you like Janis: thought you were coming to get your bed anyway Jimmy: Got your name on it tonight, mate Janis: come on, I don't need it Janis: I'll crash on your sofa 'til it's light Janis: gone before any of 'em wake up, easy Jimmy: I don't need it either Jimmy: but if I have to tie owt round the door to keep you in, challenge accepted Janis: 😏 Janis: really Jimmy: I mean, 🤞 I tucked you in and you'll stay in, but alright Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: cute Janis: say you underestimate me but it's that optimism, yeah? Jimmy: I know how much you love it, babe Janis: hmm we'll be nice and say it's refreshing Jimmy: be nice and stay put instead of me having to rig a trip wire or some bollocks Janis: alright, alright Janis: no need to go home alone Janis: how long are you keeping me captive though Janis: things to do Jimmy: least if we were I might be able to sleep Jimmy: comes to something when you're the least annoying person I've shared a bed with Jimmy: let you out when it goes from #goals to #weird Janis: charming Janis: is he asleep or Jimmy: 👑 me Jimmy: he ain't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: that'll be me tomorrow if I go work Janis: well, if you let me go Janis: can rock up at opening time and tell them how sick you still are Jimmy: if I let you go, won't see you for dust Jimmy: such an athlete, like Janis: well yeah, I will go to the gym after Janis: just hoping it's the fit one opening obvs Jimmy: get your own fit colleagues, I 😍 him first Janis: 💔 I'm faster Jimmy: that'll be why I were 🥇 in a race against you Janis: 1. you cheat Janis: 2. sure he will if you beg hard enough, don't cry Jimmy: 1. shut up I can't hear the 🎻 over you being a massive 😭 loser Jimmy: 2. piss off Janis: oh please, your one good lung would collapse before you could even eat my dust in an actual race Jimmy: long as it holds out for me to go have a 🚬 Janis: 🙄 Janis: yay or nay to the actual plan though, idiot Jimmy: Well on board for a race to my 💀💀💀 death obvs 🎊 Janis: DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL IN SICK FOR YOU OR NO Jimmy: You can calm down, your boyfriend ain't opening up, no need to shout Jimmy: nowt in it for you either Janis: not an answer Jimmy: I don't have a smoothie maker here and I ain't cashing in an IOU on that bollocks Jimmy: there you go Janis: don't need one that bad Janis: but alright Janis: go sleep then Jimmy: not out here, it's freezing Jimmy: 🤞 when I get back in Janis: all that talk of 🚬 got you excited Jimmy: keep that 💕 between us though Janis: everyone's seen you Janis: clearly your 😎 appeal is so great, they'll deal with the bad breath Jimmy: but if they ask you're my 🥇 Janis: not forgot what we're doing here Janis: don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you move here Jimmy: Why are you asking me? Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: why not Janis: reasonable question Jimmy: reasonable that you've said you don't need or wanna know owt about me an' all Jimmy: What's changed? Janis: got time to kill, ain't we Jimmy: and that's what you wanna do with it? Janis: not my first choice Jimmy: do whatever is then Janis: just don't answer Jimmy: 🙀 is you, Judith Janis: then Janis: ? Janis: hardly a probing question, calm down Jimmy: he got a job here, I didn't fancy being homeless so I came with Jimmy: alright? Janis: why wouldn't it be Jimmy: I dunno the answer you want Janis: erm, the one that's real Janis: not asking for a bedtime story here Jimmy: force of habit Jimmy: our kid has to have 6 Janis: one for every year Janis: classic Janis: gets a bit out of hand when 10 of you try it though so Jimmy: thank fuck Ian ain't that fertile then Janis: 🤢 don't Janis: it's fucking grim Jimmy: 💔 my face fits Jimmy: can't say I ain't his Jimmy: can't knock yours that hard if most of your lot looks like you do Janis: diversitys lacking but he ain't the only black man about Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: yeah but 10 kids looking like that would get you all the 👶🏆 regardless Jimmy: well 9 'cause there's Grace Janis: shut up 🙄 Janis: beautiful baby competitions aren't that lucrative Jimmy: sure my ex is 💔💔💔 Janis: cute then? Janis: that's something Janis: most babies are ugly Jimmy: nah she'd have to rig it Jimmy: cheating comes natural though Janis: ouch Jimmy: 🤷 Jimmy: there's your bedtime story Janis: not meant to be sad Janis: no wonder he's after 6 Janis: happily ever after, dickhead Jimmy: I ain't still with her 💍👶👰 so it were Jimmy: and far as he knows we're 💕 Janis: well I won't get pregnant to end this so Janis: still coming off favourably Jimmy: Ian will be chuffed Jimmy: and what greater seal of approval is there? Janis: idk Janis: starting to question his existense tbh Janis: 😎 runs in the genes too, yeah Jimmy: 👻 does Janis: same Janis: definitely not related Jimmy: don't worry I ain't gonna come round yours with a white sheet thrown on Jimmy: bit controversial Jimmy: stick to the burning ✞ Janis: come on Janis: be a laugh Janis: call it performance art Jimmy: til I get lynched myself Jimmy: proper outnumbered Janis: nah Janis: they're all pussies Janis: nothing like me, I told you Jimmy: you don't know I ain't Jimmy: never seen me fight Janis: protect you, go on Jimmy: lend us your lighter and I'll think about it Jimmy: mine's 💀👻 Janis: trace the burning ✞ back to me and all Janis: no idiot Janis: but whatever, one sec Jimmy: chuck it out the window, Juliet Jimmy: no need to run Janis: may as well have one myself Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon I can catch it Janis: I know you can't Janis: also know you won't give it back Jimmy: I'll give it you back tomorrow Janis: fucking hell, if you don't wanna even sit with me, I'll go out front, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: can't do tricks out front Janis: [comes out in his hoodie obvs 'cos you said it was freezing but we know she ain't taken it off, like] Jimmy: [is visibly cold af cos been out here ages and gave her his clothes] Janis: ['you idiot' coming at him with said hoodie] Jimmy: [is so much no because bitch you're keeping that] Janis: [🙄 like come here then and wrapping it round them both] Jimmy: [letting that happen because we all wanna] Janis: [rubbing his arms to warmth them 'can get the duvet if you want'] Jimmy: ['be going back in in a bit, it's alright'] Janis: [nods but pulls it tighter/him closer] Jimmy: [again letting that happen shamelessly lol] Janis: [they'd be like so face to face rn it'd be ridiculous 'cos same height, the only way you're avoiding that tension is if you put your head on his shoulder and that's not intimate at all nah] Jimmy: [when you're just playing with her hair like it's in your way and you gotta stop it from harassing you but 👀 you really boy] Janis: [scary grace impression 'don't mess up my hair!'] Jimmy: [lols 'don't do that, it's proper accurate'] Janis: [😏 'spent an unfortunate amount of time with her, least she can give me is a decent impression'] Jimmy: ['I don't want her here or the PTSD tah'] Janis: ['yeah, yeah, you want the lighter I ain't forgot' but not giving it him 'cos vital he be warmthed first obvs] Jimmy: ['I do but-' not finishing that sentence because #danger] Janis: [no escaping how hard she can look at you from this distance though] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna wake him up and the fucking dog will longer I leave going back in, so don't fight me on the floor thing when we do, alright?'] Janis: ['course', I'm not as arsehole' pauses 'I just don't see why you won't take the bed and I'll go on the sofa-' when you say this last bit faster than the rest '-or just share with me it's not like we haven't before'] Jimmy: [nods and tries not to breathe too much 'Really committed to warming me back up, you. Fine then.'] Janis: ['something like that' hands him the lighter] Jimmy: [we know the drill here, ladies first lol] Janis: [when you should really separate to smoke but you just turn so he's behind you 🥄🚬 moment ] Jimmy: [take your chance to shamelessly stare at her boy] Jimmy: [and he should blatantly take a pic because imagine how beautiful she'd look rn and the lighting would be so interesting] Janis: [do it for your 🎨 and 😍 boy] Jimmy: [honestly and it'll stop you saying or doing anything else that you shouldn't] Janis: ['do you reckon I could do it properly..model, like?'] Jimmy: ['Yeah' OMG he answered a question] Janis: [when she's surprised he don't shade her like oh but does best to hide that 'my sister is. Good way out, since I'm not getting deported'] Jimmy: ['I'll look forward to seeing your face on a billboard or whatever and saying I didn't know you' because don't you just hate when peeps pretend to be your bestie when you die/are famous, yep me and Jimmy too] Janis: ['tah, glad it meant so much to ya, mate'] Jimmy: ['It obvs meant everything to me, that's why I've gotta repress all those perfect memories, babe. Tah for that.'] Janis: [turns and 😘 with some smoke coming with] Jimmy: ['see, can't do better than you'] Janis: ['I know, I feel really bad for you, actually. Tragedy.'] Jimmy: [does the violin mime 'get in line, girl, let you jump it a bit 'cause I like you'] Janis: ['yeah?'] Jimmy: [😘 back at her because getting too real there] Janis: [catches it and turns back] Jimmy: [🚬 in silence for a bit because close call] Janis: 'what's your mate called, then?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like he has no idea who she means] Janis: ['Barista boy'] Jimmy: ['He ain't my mate then, is he'] Janis: ['Your mans, I'm sorry'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [nudges back like tell me then] Jimmy: ['Do your own homework, it's the holidays'] Janis: ['such a cockblock, you'] Jimmy: [😒 but trying not to let it show and doing the 💔 with his hands so she'll look there instead] Janis: ['yeah right' and pushing his hands down] Jimmy: [usual Oi and scuffle moment as standard] Janis: [just playfighting always] Jimmy: [when you're just like come on because can't stay out here forever] Janis: ['you finally done?'] Jimmy: [CLEARLY still in his jealousy and thinking about her fucking Pete so walking away] Janis: [just like um excuse me but going too 'cos not gonna stay outside to be awkward] Jimmy: [getting ready for bed moodily lol lol lol] Janis: [when you don't even know what's changed the vibe but what you gonna say, just taking the hoodie and whatever you put on your bottom off] Jimmy: [deliberately not looking at her cos you're in a sulk and can't trust yourself not to say something] Janis: [this won't be awkward at all, lads, time to cram into this bed like there's any option but to snuggle] Jimmy: [who is big 🥄 and who's little?] Janis: [if she's little he can be 'mad' about her hair in his face] Jimmy: [true just #fuming] Janis: ['night'] Jimmy: [when you don't say it back, we know you ain't asleep yet boy] Janis: ['dick'] Jimmy: [a very unamused sound in response like it's her fault you're a jealous dickhead okay then] Janis: [turning 'round in this bed which is treacherous tbh and poking him like what is your problem] Jimmy: [shaking his head because literally what can he say and don't even start me on the position of them both in this tiny bed] Janis: [such a grumpy face] Jimmy: [when she looks so CUTE that it changes your face to 😏 to hide your genuine 😍😊] Janis: ['I'd push you if I wouldn't fall too, and your brother wasn't asleep, lucky' pokes him in the chest again for emphasis on the lucky] Jimmy: ['Nah, you're well anti me being on the floor, said it loads'] Janis: ['plans change, it happens'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'ain't like it'd be the first bruise I'd had off you, least this one'd be real'] Janis: ['can be arranged] Jimmy: ['go on'] Janis: ['later'] Jimmy: ['You ain't gotta be scared or owt, do it'] Janis: ['you're too loud'] Jimmy: [does a 🤐 gesture] Janis: [just LOOKing like are we on the same page I don't think so] Jimmy: [giving her such a look back, kill me tbh] Janis: [we all know she's gonna lovebite him, like] Jimmy: [forever letting shit happen because I want to] Janis: [going hard like the time you nearly took my nip off 'cos challenged and the levels of frustration] Jimmy: [and has anyone ever bit their own lip as hard as he'd have to in this moment jfc because likewise challenged not to be a loud bitch but we know he is and wants to be] Janis: [just keeps looking up to see that struggle like 😏 but also going back in more times than is necessary like] Jimmy: [holding onto her hair not in a soft way because damn people have died struggling less than he is rn] Janis: [the struggle is shared lbr, pulling away, SOMEHOW, 'satisfied?' 😏 you know damn well neither of you are] Jimmy: [just gesturing to his closed mouth with a shrug like I'm not allowed to talk so and we all know he'd need more than a minute if he was gonna] Janis: [just, ( and not very gently), touching all the bruises she just did like 🤔 hmm] Jimmy: [dying but not stopping her because this is all so NBD of course yep] Janis: [shaking her head 'don't worry, did 'em where no one will see, can't let work know how much fun you were having in your sick bed, like'] Jimmy: I reckon the manager's a fan Jimmy: seen him scrolling Janis: well, don't let him take advantage of you, like Janis: more dubious than 🤤 Jimmy: don't do work romances me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: sure that's how my dad reckons all his feel Jimmy: probably more celebratory in reality though Jimmy: based on what they wrote in his 'glad you're fucking off' cards Janis: I get you Janis: watch out for Ian from accounts vibes Janis: not #goals Jimmy: he ain't, soz to piss on your 💍 goals Janis: oh well Janis: think of something, like Jimmy: 🏆🧠 you, like Janis: Obviously Janis: he ain't gonna be pissed off at you that I'm here, is he Janis: probably doesn't know, like Janis: can use my ninja skills Jimmy: he'd have to come home to find out Jimmy: fuck all chance of that Janis: didn't know if he had Janis: his office wifey(s), I guess? Jimmy: Why would he? I'm here, means he don't have to be Janis: yeah, who wants to spend time with their offspring Jimmy: let you know when I meet someone who does Janis: s'shit Janis: why bother reproducing Jimmy: we were all accidents, he just put his name to us Janis: I guess Janis: once is an accident, three times getting dangerously close to a habit Jimmy: full of bad habits him Janis: and not even 😎 with it Janis: actually tragic Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: oh well Janis: won't sleep with my shoes on, then Jimmy: not if you're gonna kick me Jimmy: alright for injuries, tah Janis: shut up, you wanted them Jimmy: You planning to get into the habit of giving me what I want? Janis: depends Jimmy: don't it always Janis: you tell me Jimmy: Tell you what, that it's a bad idea to go with a worse habit? Janis: worse than what Jimmy: owt I've got Jimmy: so don't do nowt for me Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't flatter yourself Jimmy: weren't Jimmy: I were flattering you Janis: sure you were Janis: you ain't more deadly than 🚬 😎boy, calm down Jimmy: you can do better, I've already said, don't have to sound like a 🚭 campaign about it, mate but if that's what gets through your 👂 to that 🧠 Janis: oh please Jimmy: begging ain't a mind changer but crack on Janis: I ain't begging no one but don't patronize me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [turns and gets as much space between as is physically possible] Jimmy: [finally says 'night' to her] Jimmy: [breaking that silence for it lol] Janis: [makes a similar noise of disgust] Jimmy: [then he's just moving and fussing for an age, soz about it] Janis: [doing a big sigh and getting up and out] Jimmy: ['hang on' before you can stop yourself or she can go] Janis: [looks back like what] Jimmy: [just looking at her like he did at the party when he dragged her away from Harry and was like DON'T] Janis: [when you can't just get back in 'cos you'll look stupid but you do change your plan 'where's your loo?'] Jimmy: [he tells her because idk the layout as usual] Janis: [👍] Jimmy: [just having a sad soft boy moment hoping she'll brb] Janis: [does and silently gets back in] Jimmy: [swap 🥄s kids, when you actually breathe a sigh of relief though that your bae is back #same] Janis: [should probably let them go to sleep lol] Jimmy: [just gotta have him whisper that he's sorry when he reckons she is but yeah sleep and snuggle guys]

[irepookie]

Wake up Call, Infinity Ch.3

Summary: QUEEN AU WHERE ROGER (ROWAN)IS A19 YEAR OLD SINGLE DAD TRYING TO FIND A PLACE IN THE WORLD OF MUSIC

WARNINGS: iNTENSE FLUFF AND SOME SWEARING

Chapter 3: Row has to start stepping out of the bubble him and his daughter have been living in while in the safety of the hospital, and break the news to his best friends. 

John- Rick

Fred-Len

Bri- Terry

Rog- Rowan

When Row had hung up on Len mid sentence, the boys had been confused. Then again, he was at his mom's house and they had heard her infamous shout of <<ROWAN EUGENE QUEEN>> that always preceded an argument, so they let it go. But then he didn't turn up to rehearsal, or called back for the rest of the afternoon. Or the following afternoon. Or for rest of the week. And that was unlike him. He always called back. (Well, most of his former one night stands would disagree with this). Let's just say he always called his band mates back. Sometimes drunk, at 4 AM, Thus leaving  a wakeful Terry with 2 hours to spare nothing to do but to start revising for whatever exam he had ahead.

So, when they didn't know of him, they went directly to the village's police station, to see if he was locked up, and if not, to report him missing.

"What if we ask Gina?" Rick suggested

"I'd rather check the morgue first, thanks" Len said.

"Well, what else can we do? Huh?"

"Audition new drummers"

"Seriously boys. Let's go."

They knocked on Row's childhood home. Gina opened, with messy hair, a dressing gown and slippers

"Oh, hello boys. He ain't here" she took a drag of the 4th cigarette she had smoked that day despite it only being 8:30 AM.

"Where is he?"

"He isn't at home?"

"We've checked and there's no track of him. We haven't seen him in 7 days"

She sighed "in the hospital, I think. If he hasn't left already"

"Hospital?" All three said simultaneously

"What happened?!" Len added

"You don't know?"

"Know what?"

She smiled, mockingly "Wow, father of the year isn't so sure after all"

"What?"

She laughed bitterly. If he hadn't told his best friends yet, it maybe meant he was reconsidering the whole thing. Maybe common sense had hit him after the first stinky nappy.

"You know what? Come in."

"Oh we were actually in a rush..."

"You wanna find him or not? Come in, I don't bite

"Alright" all three musicians entered somewhat awkwardly in the house where so many sleep overs had taken place, back in the day.

She led them to the kitchen, where the phone was, and dialed.

Callie was the closest to the phone "Row? Yes, I'll get him"

She made her way to the room where the Prune had been moved in the previous evening, due to her favourable evolution and the need of free incubators.

She grinned at the scene: the 6 day old infant was dozing against her dad's bare chest, supported by his hands -which seemed huge in comparison to her small figure-. His eyes were closed, but Callie could tell he was awake as his left hand was stroking her head. It was adorable, and they seemed at such peace -poor Row had spent his first whole night on night watch and was exhausted-.

"Row" she called softly

He opened his big blue eyes in acknowledgement.

"You have a call"

"A call? From who?" He whispered back, before looking down at the baby to make sure she was asleep

"Didn't say. But she was kind of irritated"

"Oh, that's mom then" he smiled sarcastically, but didn't move a bit.

"You aren't gonna get on the phone?"

"I don't know. She doesn't deserve our attention does she?" He cooed

"How bad can it be?"

"You don't wanna see my bad side. And I don't ever want her to see it either"

Callie smiled "Go. I'll stay with her"

He groaned in annoyance. He was so comfortable, and he didn't want to get up.

"C'mere darling" he mumbled, detaching his daughter from his lap and carefully lying her on the cot

He exited the room and walked to the phone "What?"

"Row! Where are you?" The three voices of his best friends greeted him from the other side

"Oh, hi guys I... How did you get this number?"

"We're calling you from your mum's. She says you're in hospital" Terry's soft voice said worriedly

"You've gone fucking AWOL! Where are you man? We're worried as hell" Len scolded

"Oh yeah, hehe been..."he scratched the back of his head "been pretty busy" He glanced in the direction of his daughter's room, where he saw Callie readjusting the yellow teddy bear he had bought her the second day.

"Busy? With what?" Rick inquired

"It's... It's a long story."

"Well we've got time"

"Shouldn't you be in uni?" Row said in hopes they'd have to run into class

"It's Sunday, Row!"

"Oh is it?" He had lost track of time, honestly

"C'mon! Spit it"

He sighed "Alright, huh..." He tried to think of where to start. He couldn't really think much tho; his brain was pudge at that moment. "I met a girl in..." He counted nine months back from February "June?" No wait Piper was premature so it could be July or... Then it hit him. "No, remember that afternoon when we set up that Live Aid session in your parents backyard, Len?"

The boys nodded. July 13th. How could they forget? It had been dubbed the best Summer Party of 1985 in town. The four of them had tried to get tickets, but they couldn't even afford a ticket to London in the first place. And so, They watched the whole show with four TV screens around the yard instead, and the whole village had joined them, arguing on which performance had been the best.

Of course, all four members of Symbols agreed that it had been Queen.

"But they signed up late" someone said 

 "Yea, they came late to the party" another agreed. 

"So what? They rocked the party! You just say that because you like U2 better"

 "Like you prefer Queen!" 

 "But we've got a point! Regardless of how much we like them, they were, objectively, the best performance" /

"Objectively? Bullshit!" Anne Williams snapped "They played the same shit they always play! And Bono was a true gentleman, helping that girl who was getting crashed by the crowd."

 "Yea, I'm sure Freddie wouldn't have given a shit, so full of himself and his teeth up his~" /

Dennis Phelps couldn't finish his sentence as a  someone tossed him a Converse, which hit his head. A young woman, with Bowie-like orange dyed haircut approached, with  a bare left foot and the matching shoe on the other 

 "You know nothing about putting up a good show then. Also, you mess with Freddie Mercury again and next time the shoe will be stuck up your ass" she told Dennis, retrieving the item "I mean, it's clear who I'm rooting for but Queen really did what had to be done. Geldof told them all to play the hits, because that's precisely why they're hits: they work. Other artists, like your boyfriend Bono and his band played new material, as if this was their concert. And it's not. Even though they signed up on time and whatever. They took a risk, crowd didn't know the song, they lost interest. But Queen had common sense: they played the hits, the anthems, and people connected with them. And it's not about Freddie or him hypnotizing Wembley. It's having some common sense. And not even you two knew the lyrics of U2s new song. So shut the hell up"

Row had liked her instantly. That's a girl who knows the stuff.

They exchanged a smile, a wink and a complicit nod

"We must join our forces to help out our friends under pressure, don't we?" She said

"Oh yes, Bowie girl." Terry remembered

"Yep."

"So what's with her?" Rick said

"Well, that.. she..." He cut himself off when a cry echoed in Pip's room "Gotta go, guys. I'll call you back"

"No! Row!" Len said, but the line went dead

"Shit"

"What happened?" Gina, who had watched the scene from the door frame, -and was about to finish her 6th cigar in a row,- asked

"He rambled about that Live Aid day, and a girl he met there"

"Did he say her name?"

"No. He had to go suddenly. It's all weird"

"Yea, well... Life is weird, boys"

"I don't understand. What's going on? Can't you tell us, Mrs. Queen?"

"Oh no. No. It's not my story to tell. Nor my business. I tried my best, but that stubborn bastard didn't listen. I'm sorry" she said

"But is he okay?" Len asked, concerned

Gina grinned, at how despite it all, the four boys would stick up with each other to the end of the world "Yes. He's fine."

"Row, are you okay?" Callie said, as the drummer wordlessly took the bundle from her

"Yes, yes. Why wouldn't I be?" He said, sitting with the fussy baby

"You're a bit pale"

"Oh I... Nothing. Just... I'm nervous honestly. Because we're about get discharged and I'm gonna be alone with her and I'll have to dad around all by myself and... And everyone will know..."

"Know what?"

"About her"

"And is that a problem?" Callie crossed her arms

"No, I mean... No, of course not. But everyone will ask questions and judge me and... I'm worried I will end up believing them more and fuck it all up"

"Believing what?"

"They'll start telling me it's a mistake, that I'm gonna screw everything up and that I won't be able to be a good dad and I'm afraid it will become true"

"So you're saying that how people think of you is gonna affect the way you... How you called it? Dad around?"

He nodded "Well, answer me these, will you? Have you, in this moment or at any point during these seven days, thought you are making a mistake?"

He looked at the tiny bundle and shook his head.

"Are you willing to always do your best for the shake of Piper?"

He nodded, noticing he was unconsciously rocking her back and forth.

"Then what's the problem?"

"Look I haven't exactly been a role model in... Well anything. One thing my mom's proud of is that I'm not into drugs. Everyone who has a daughter in the block hates me. So how am I supposed to raise one?"

"Exactly how you've been doing the last six days"

"Yes but I have you guys. And the medics, and the equipment. But there I'll be all alone"

"You will never be alone. You have the friends you've told me about. And your mum...Maybe the little darling is gassy"

"Oh stop about my mum" he carefully changed the Prune to an upright position and began to rub circles on her back without even hesitation. Wow he was actually getting a hold on the burping stuff.

"Yes. Your mum will eventually come to terms with the lil'raisin. I'm sure." She said, whist handing him a muslin to place on the baby's range of accuracy

"Oh you don't know her"

"I know she's a mum. Your mum and mother's rarely ever turn their backs on their children for good"

Row looked at the baby, then raised an eyebrow at Callie

"I said it's rare. There are obviously exceptions" she said "And believe me you're better off. Also, she did call. That's gotta Mean  something"

"I didn't speak with her. Just the band. They were at her place, yeah but... I don't know. I'm not gonna beg on my fucking knees..." He was interrupted by a burp I his ear. Damn, that was a big one. He'd need 2 beers to produce such a loud one.

"Easy, tiger." He laughed "Goddamn it, where did that come from, huh? You're unbelievable" he praised, while getting the muslin out his shoulder and handing it to Callie

"And a neat one too. 10/10." She chuckled

"Atta girl. That's my lil'raisin. Yeah, good girl" he cooed, bringing her to face him, before she started fussing and he nested her again on his chest "Aw, don't cry honey. Please. You're alright. C'mon" he begged. She settled down quickly, and he sighed in relief.

"The point is, that here is like... I feel safe, you know? It's like another world. Another life. And now I have to fit her in my every day, and be in charge and stuff, and... I'm not sure I'm ready"

"Parents are never ready to take them home. Not even those who had 9 months of preparation, and parenting classes, and a nicely decorated and supplied nursery. No one feels ready. But nerves are good. Nerves mean that you care. Worrying and doubting about your ability to be the dad your child needs is precisely what's gonna make you raise your game. Just one last question: are you 100% that you love that lil one with all your heart?"

He looked at his daughter, who had gone back to sleep with the rambling of his voice, as his hand still caressed head and grinned "Hell yeah" Otherwise, how could he explain the way his chest seemed to be holding two hearts whenever she was in his arms? Or how, when he had to leave for the night it felt as though both those hearts were ripped away from him? Or how else could he have turned this goddamn sappy? Yep. That was the proof.

"Then that's all the two of you will ever need. She won't care if you two are rich or live in a cardboard box, or if she wasn't in your initial plans, or that she doesn't have a mom. As long as you love her and make her feel like it."

He nodded, and rested his lips on her soft scalp.

"Right, I Gotta get to another patient. Call'em back."

He stood up, this time taking his Prune along, and went to the corridor where the phone was. Making sure her head was safely cradled along with the rest of her small body on his left arm, he tucked the phone between the right shoulder and neck and dialed their shared place's number

Rick picked up "Yes?"

"I'm a dad" he said simply, and waited for his reaction. 

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I’ll post the picture separately in order to preserve my goddamn sanity cause Tumblr is being a pain in the arse!!!!!

How do you guys do it? Am I the only one who needs 5 bloody tries to post this things?

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: [Later AM after] Janis: so what's the scoop Janis: did it work Grace: OMG so you're talking to me now? Janis: what can I say Janis: giving you time and space to get busy 👌 Grace: EW Grace: giving it to yourself babes 👌 Grace: but now you've worn him out, yeah? Janis: Hush Janis: this is your debrief, what you wasting time talking 'bout me for Janis: usually LOVE to chat on yourself, like 😏 Grace: duh it's waaaaaaaaaaaay more interesting Grace: I know how my night went Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: that good, yeah? Janis: he was actually unbearable Grace: that predictable Grace: boys always are Grace: I TOLD YOU! ugh Janis: well he obvs had his reasons for being there Janis: bet he was so butthurt Grace: honestly! he's sent me so many texts Grace: boy stop I'm taking the longest shower of my life & you aren't invited Janis: gross Janis: just her type Grace: OMG she's 😠😠😠 Grace: I can't even be annoyed at you for leaving & leaving me muted cos you two really went off 👏 Janis: Good Janis: she deserves it Janis: also glad it weren't a wasted evening 'cos not getting that time/braincells back, thanks ryan 😒 Grace: IKR Grace: living only for the content I can get out of him 🙄🙄 Janis: never off, you Grace: I don't have a cute white boy distracting me rn so sorry Janis: 💔💔 Janis: erm, tell mum and dad i'm going away for a bit will you Janis: cba Grace: LITERALLY Grace: it's tragic Grace: UM EXCUSE YOU WHAT? Grace: where are you going?? Janis: my heart bleeds for you, babe 😂 Janis: idk yet just away for a bit before dreaded School Grace: no it does not 🙄🙄 Grace: ugh that's so unfair Janis: this town is awash with 'em Janis: not all dick is attached to bigger dickheads, like Grace: OMG your boyfriend gave me that same speech Grace: 💕 Janis: Yeah Janis: rehearsed that, like 😑 Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: are you literally going now?? Janis: oh yeah Janis: can you babysit Janis: meant to ask Grace: I repeat Grace: like now??! Or Janis: how many days we got left off? Grace: 2 if you're coming back when school starts Grace: but like why would you Janis: exactly Janis: so can ya then, only need to do it 'til they're back at School Grace: the sister too? Janis: she'll probably do her own thing, that's cool Janis: mainly the boy Grace: Phew! Grace: I can already tell she's not gonna like me Grace: 😱😱 Grace: but sure I said I would Janis: don't take it personal Janis: 👍 Janis: tell you when we're actually gone Grace: okay babes Grace: what's the deal with his dad tho Grace: I don't need that drama Janis: he's just a prick but he'll be at work Janis: I'll get Cass to agree to be back 'fore he is and you'll be sound Grace: sounds like just my type Grace: so that shouldn't be a problem Janis: 💀 Janis: I think not Grace: oh please I'm joking Grace: not THAT desperate Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: oh good, can stop moaning 'bout it then 😏 Grace: you're so rude Grace: I haven't even said anything Janis: I'm joking Janis: although Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: sure biitch Grace: Mia's been defeated you don't have to be nice to me anymore Grace: not that you were Janis: charming Janis: she's a 🐍 Janis: gotta cut her into at least 7 parts 'fore she's actually dead init Grace: duh Grace: but who has the time or the energy Janis: you 'til you find a white boy, apparently Grace: excuse you, you don't even believe I can count to 7 Grace: & I said CUTE there are white boys everywhere Grace: but that's like 🦄 Janis: know your standards aren't that high Grace: UM how dare you Janis: 😂 Janis: tell me I'm wrong Grace: I brought my ex to one party let me live Grace: & he brought me really so Grace: ugh Grace: 😱😱😱 Janis: what were you thinking Grace: I obvs wasn't Grace: he got me so drunk 🙄 Janis: he didn't just drop by of his own volition Janis: you were already pissed so Grace: CAN you NOT judge me thanks Grace: & don't even I was not Janis: yes you were Janis: don't lie Grace: OMG Grace: stop calling me a liar Grace: you always do Janis: well why bother Janis: you clearly were, I was talking to you Janis: it's more embarrassing acting like that was you sober Grace: why what did I do? Janis: at the party or in the conversation Janis: either way, don't matter now Grace: well it does if you're holding so much cringe against me or something Grace: what did I say before? obvs I was drunk at the party I said so Janis: nah, I ain't Janis: nothing you wouldn't say sober no doubt Grace: ugh fine Janis: why you wanna know so bad Janis: scroll if you wanna 💀 Grace: cos you're being a bitch to me over it Janis: 🙄 Janis: ain't I always Janis: what's new Grace: exactly Grace: so boring Grace: I'm sure there's something I've done more recently you can call me out over Janis: 💔 Janis: why would I do that Grace: you literally just said Grace: you always do Grace: what's new, babes Janis: nah Janis: I'd have to care, like you said, you're on mute Janis: you just like to feel #attacked Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: not today tho Grace: not now you need something Janis: ain't me Janis: you owe, we're cashing in Janis: simple as Grace: I don't owe you anything & you still want me to tell mum & dad for you Janis: don't then Janis: I don't care Grace: obvs Janis: what's your point Grace: my point is & was I was being nice to you Grace: & you're rude Janis: No, you weren't Janis: and you never are Janis: so likewise Grace: who's feeling #attacked now, hun Grace: cos I literally was Janis: so nice Janis: wow Janis: miss congeniality Janis: been friends with them too long, you've got no idea how to be nice, or what that even is Grace: I've got no idea how to talk to you cos I'm always on mute Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: doesn't stop you Janis: God loves a trier Grace: well excuse me Grace: I won't talk to you then fine Janis: okiedokie Janis: later Grace: just tell me when you're going Grace: or get your boyfriend to Janis: obviously Janis: I already said Grace: are you gonna tell mum & dad? Janis: no Janis: why would i Grace: cos they'll freak out if you just vanish duh Grace: send a text it's not like it's hard Janis: if you're concerned do it yourself Grace: OMG Grace: we literally have the chillest parents ever why do you want them to freak out Janis: if they're so chill then what's the issue Grace: you know what the issue is Grace: do you wanna be her now? Janis: 🙄 Janis: obvs Janis: never did fuck all to know where she was so it'll be fine Grace: that's not even close to being true Grace: they looked for her all the time Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what, like it was hard Janis: sure Grace: what like it's hard to just tell them you're going? Grace: just stop being such a bitch Janis: nah Janis: just chill out, if you wanna bum 'em so hard Grace: I'm trying to help you, bitch Grace: ugh Janis: sure Janis: i'm doing what i want so how'd you work that one out Grace: sorry your boyfriend is apparently so boring you need the drama Grace: OMG Janis: what drama Janis: they're so chill so cool wow Janis: so lucky Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: get over it, grace, no one else gives a shit Grace: get over yourself first Grace: cos yeah they do Janis: wow parents of the year Janis: why don't you make them an award Grace: shut up Janis: when you're the only one that still cares and you still aren't the favourite Janis: sad times Grace: Rio's always gonna be the fave Grace: duh Janis: gotta make it seem intentional Grace: whatever Grace: I'm not bored enough ever to talk about our family dysfunction for this amount of time so Janis: piss off then? Janis: literally never trying to talk to any of you, least of all you Grace: you popped up in my inbox babes Grace: but nice try Janis: to cash a favour Janis: but good one Grace: you could have done that in 1 line Grace: why are you still here? Janis: omg please tell mummy and daddy Grace: please go away Janis: devastating Janis: so nice, you Janis: as nice as they are chill 🤞 Grace: you've told me repeatedly how nice I'm not Grace: so enjoy being right Janis: oh babes Janis: is sarcasm really lost on you Janis: genuinely didn't think you were that thick, awkward Grace: yeah sure tell me how stupid I am again Grace: we've reached that point in the convo Grace: fabulous Janis: Gotta try and make it stick Janis: working with with you're giving me here, very little Grace: why? you don't care & you never wanna talk to me so Janis: common good Janis: counts as community service Grace: sure Janis: are you so deluded you think I talk to you for some sense of fun Grace: I don't actually spend time trying to think about why you do anything anymore, babes Janis: 👌 Janis: dead convincing that Grace: too stupid to figure you out obvs Janis: awh Janis: too much of a cunt to care, more like it Grace: I care Grace: & according to you too much Grace: so like ?? Grace: try making sense Janis: try keeping up Janis: know the synapses are signed but come on Janis: singed* Grace: I just can't keep up with you, hun Grace: you're miles ahead duh Janis: does that make you feel good about yourself, yeah? Grace: oh please Grace: I never feel good about myself & we've covered that Janis: ugh shut up Janis: whine whine whine Janis: no wonder your ex would rather be looking at himself Grace: you wanna slag me off but I can't join in? Grace: typical Janis: we've all heard it a billion times Grace: same goes for everything you're saying rn so Grace: I've heard it more than a billion times from you Janis: and what? Janis: I don't care about your feelings, or how bored you pretend to be, is what you fail to grasp Grace: obvs Grace: tell me a few more times how much you don't care, yeah? Janis: I will Janis: there's literally nothing you can say, why are you still here Grace: Then stop talking to me OMG Janis: no Janis: make me Grace: I obvs can't Janis: yet I can ignore you, craziness Janis: that's what's so funny Grace: 👏 Grace: mhmm so funny that you don't care about anything but I care about you Grace: sure Janis: now you're getting it Grace: maybe I'm not entirely stupid Grace: phew Grace: what a relief like Janis: let's not get carried away Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: cute though Grace: thanks so much Janis: do as you want anyway, tell 'em I've started on the meth if you reckon it'll kick 'em into action Grace: I'm not telling them anything Janis: good, we're on the same page for once Janis: hooray Grace: 👏 Janis: 🙌🎉 Grace: [is ignoring] Janis: [emojibombs her to blow her phone up] Grace: [somehow ignoring how annoying that is] Janis: can you tell your friend to get out my inbox Grace: no Janis: 🙄 Janis: save the backbone for her she's slagging you off Grace: I'm sure she is Janis: not Mia Janis: the other one Grace: like I said, I'm sure she is Janis: fuck's sake Janis: not much use alive are you Grace: not to you obvs Grace: mute her it's not difficult Janis: not to them if you aren't gonna play the game Janis: sort it out Grace: what do you think the game is? Grace: I annoyed Mia, as planned, of course they're all slagging me off Grace: duh Janis: yeah and you need to go grovel like you always do so you can be bffs forever Janis: this ain't my first rodeo either Grace: I don't need to do anything Grace: so if you'll excuse me Janis: I won't Janis: seriously, control your friends Grace: no thanks Janis: stop being such a useless cunt Grace: stop talking to me like that Grace: or ever preferably Grace: you agreed to help me, it's your problem if they're in your inbox too Janis: no, it ain't Janis: they're your problem Grace: no they're not Grace: they're muted on my phone rn Grace: I don't have a problem Janis: yeah singular is a bit pie in the sky Janis: for fuck sake, get it over with Grace: no thanks Janis: we get it, you're attention starved Janis: milk it all you want but keep it private, the rest of us don't need to see Mia throw you a bone Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: how funny is it when that's exactly what you do though Janis: tears of a 🤡 Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: this time'll be different, babes Janis: god bless Grace: makes no difference to you so get over it Janis: 😂 Janis: does though, as I've literally fucking stated so either sort your shit or just get it out of my fucking face, either way, I don't care Janis: I didn't sign up to deal with ou, I really didn't sign up to deal with them Grace: I'm not the one in your inbox, tell it to them if you're so affected Janis: listen, you fucking idiot Janis: they're not my business, I want nothing to do with them Grace: well me either rn so Janis: what part of, I don't fucking care about you do you not understand Janis: they're your friends, it's your mess, grow the fuck up and deal with it Grace: I'm just telling you why I'm not sorting them out for you Grace: but keep begging me to like Grace: like its so hard to handle for yourself Janis: You are Janis: end of story Grace: I'm really not Grace: I'm in this mess which you think is mine cos I was defending you Grace: why would I get into more drama with them to tell them to leave you alone? Grace: You've already told me I shouldn't have bothered in the first place Janis: I don't care about you, oh my God Janis: I don't care if you're exiled, it's your mess Janis: own it Grace: well I don't care if they're in your inbox so Janis: I don't care about your feelings or opinions Janis: this is all irrelevant Grace: then stop asking me to do you a favour Grace: shut them up yourself or don't Janis: it isn't a favour Janis: it's responsibility Grace: they aren't my responsibility Grace: so its not Janis: yes they are Janis: no one elese likes them Janis: you brought them here Grace: they aren't Grace: they're their own bitches making their own messes Janis: wow put it on a t-shirt Janis: in this case, they are Grace: no Grace: even if they were my friends I can't tell them what to do, they only listen to Mia Grace: & I'm not going to try cos they aren't Janis: 🎻 Grace: play it for yourself & your blown up inbox babes Janis: sort it out Grace: no Janis: you useless fucking bitch Grace: it didn't work the last time you said that Grace: but go off Janis: drop dead Grace: you wish Janis: you wish Janis: you pathetic wreck Grace: 😭😭😭 Janis: exactly Janis: invite your ex over again to make you feel loved Janis: then pretend you don't remember how he got there Grace: nice idea but no thanks he really didn't Janis: no shit Janis: not stopped you before Janis: like the Mia shit, you always revert to type, needy little cunt Grace: you're literally asking me to go back to her so you can have a clean inbox babes Grace: & I've said no Grace: deal with it Janis: yeah? Janis: because I don't care about you Janis: what? I want you to have nice friends 😂 Janis: I didn't help you for you, obviously, you know that Janis: at least Mia knows what the fuck she is Grace: go ask her to call them off then Grace: I'm sure she'd love to Grace: when she's done telling everyone she made you cry at the party obvs Janis: 💔 Janis: so tragic Janis: 'til 🤡 walked in right on cue Janis: no one's talking about me, not even Mia Janis: don't you just love that for you? Grace: you'd love that but she is Grace: they all are Janis: no, you've got them muted and I'm essentially in the group chat Janis: trust, all about you, graciekins Grace: you wish Grace: I've unmuted plenty of times Grace: over plenty of days Janis: wow ok harriet the spy Janis: get you Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: just tell your boyfriend I need his address when you sort out what the hell you're doing Grace: that way I can go back to ignoring you Janis: [address] Janis: there Grace: 👋 Janis: hope you die in a car crash! 👍 Grace: dream about it Grace: 💕 Janis: you wish anyone did Grace: I really don't Janis: convincing, again Grace: I'm not going to sit here & convince you that I don't actually want people to wish me dead Grace: sorry about it Janis: yeah 'cos that's what was meant Grace: yeah cos I care what you meant Janis: it's not about caring it's just basic comprehension, really Janis: but go off with that victim narrative you fit everything into Grace: but I'm so stupid tho babes, so sorry Grace: can't comprehend you & your mysterious ways Janis: nothing mysterious about it Janis: you wish though Janis: maybe all this means I really care, wouldn't that be lovely, n'awh Grace: but I love it so much how often you tell me you don't Grace: so no Janis: ew Janis: keep your dreams to yourself Grace: you first Grace: or you know, just keep telling everyone how much you'd love it if I died Grace: put it in the group chat for the girls 💕 Janis: ugh this conversation would be so much easier if you could read Janis: you're the only one that likes to be told still Janis: but that's just your wankbank material so, we get it Janis: times are tough for you rn Grace: but you don't care about my thoughts & feelings Grace: so its so considerate for you to do it anyway Grace: best sister award Janis: You're so lucky to have me Janis: get out the lollipop sticks, you're making more work for yourself Grace: mhhhhmmm Grace: I'll get the kid brother to do it, it's fine Janis: try not to scare him with all your problems Grace: thanks for the pro tip babes Grace: working on his big brother is it? Janis: you wish you knew Janis: sad times Grace: I do know, I had a front row seat for how 😍 he is Janis: you wish you knew how to do it, obviously Grace: yeah Grace: but I don't & you're not gonna tell me so Grace: I'll have to get over it Janis: such a drag when you're so #damaged and it ain't getting you all that enabling dick Janis: shame she ain't about to ask, such a pro Grace: IKR Janis: not that she ever talked to you so bit de ja vu init babes Grace: obvs Janis: 💔 truly Grace: tragic Janis: least you only have to pretend to be messed up over it now Grace: what a relief Janis: mhhhhmmm Janis: must've sucked to have actually given a shit about her Grace: did it? Grace: you're one of the only few of us who bothered Janis: nah Grace: glad you're not 💔💔💔 Janis: obviously Janis: you care SO much Janis: the nicest person to ever exist Grace: not about her tho Janis: like you said, no one did Grace: I said you did Grace: you're saying no one Janis: typical you to presume you know me Janis: unsurprised Grace: typical you pretend like I wasn't there Grace: unsurprised Janis: as if that was an option Janis: chatting shit Grace: you're so good at it now tho Grace: well done Grace: a real glow up Janis: you know Janis: still as annoying but less and less relevant the more you scream and cry Janis: lost any real power 'fore we were out of nappies but go of Janis: regression is very in now anyway, can't all be me Grace: sure Janis: 💔💔💔 Grace: are you done, my ex is here Grace: need to revert to type like now Janis: hope you polished the mirror like a good girl then Grace: not that one Grace: but thanks Grace: so many to choose from obvs Janis: they're all the same Janis: especially with how little of a shit they give about you Janis: cute, we should get jackets Grace: duh Janis: awh tell lewis jack aaron etc i said hi Grace: I would but none of them are talkers Grace: kinda the point Janis: thick gotta pick thick Janis: not exactly a stunning conversationalist, which is depressing, the amount you chat Grace: obvs Janis: well have a lovely time Grace: thanks Grace: 👋 Janis: ✌ Grace: 💋 Janis: it's obvious enough you're fucking me without that Grace: EW Grace: be weirder Janis: really out here playing dumb Janis: not much of a talker, hates you, loves themselves Janis: i know you bum ma and da but really, couldn't settle for daddy issues could you Grace: I AM dumb, babes Grace: & all of that you've said Grace: like I said, keep your dreams to yourself first please Janis: all of it's true Janis: gonna 💔 if you start pretending they love you, christ Grace: I'm not Grace: but love the warning Grace: so cute Janis: serious, you should come with a warning Janis: ready to ring up the samaritans on your behalf every time you pop up Grace: I do, it's that I'm related to you Grace: but I work around it Grace: don't waste their time when you don't care SO MUCH babes, it's really rude Janis: that's adorable Janis: if only people disliked you 'cos of me, oh bless Janis: they give less of a shit, trust Grace: It's a warning for boys, isn't it? Grace: plenty of them think I'm like you, trust Janis: 😱 Janis: omg, boys don't like me Janis: better go commit Janis: you're the one surrounded by girls, my love Grace: but you're so wifed Grace: so you'll have to go on living or what would that poor barista boy do? Janis: again, you wish Grace: I really don't but you are Grace: he's gonna be so sad when you stop caring about him Janis: yeah, too nice for you Janis: real bummer being so in love with me, you poor thing Grace: it is for him, yeah Janis: you've puked in front of him once and now you're besties Janis: this is how we ended up here, raise the bar Grace: I wish we were cos of how much you'd hate it but sadly no Janis: 💔 Janis: as I said, you wish Janis: revelation, Gracie wants what's mine Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: like you said, he's too nice for me, hun Janis: doesn't stop you thinking you deserve better Janis: so hard done by Grace: oh please Janis: my sentiments exactly Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: have fun wherever you're going Janis: obviously Grace: bye Janis: yeah yeah Grace: so I can't even say bye now? Grace: fine Janis: say what you like Janis: likewise Grace: whatever Janis: fine Janis: 😂 Grace: [is ignoring again cos really stop Grace you aren't gonna get anywhere] Janis: [later] Janis: k we're leaving Janis: can you come now for a few hours Janis: he's back at 6:30 so Cass said she'll be back 6:15 latest Grace: sure Janis: tah Janis: gotta get [bus number] that's quickest Grace: do I have to feed her or something? what kind of tween is she? Grace: some of them can do everything & some nothing Janis: she ain't Mia, she eats Janis: she was gonna get maccies so don't worry 'bout her Grace: 👌 Janis: wait 'round 'til you're here, give you key and all that shit Janis: try not to see his dad, yeah, he dunno so Grace: I'll get the boy to drop me so I won't be long Grace: like 10 Janis: gross Janis: but cool Grace: what about the dog? Grace: you didn't mention it Janis: we're taking it Grace: thank god Janis: yeah you aren't good with dogs so no Grace: literally Janis: yet you begged for one 'til like last year Grace: did you need to have a dig at me? Grace: so rude Janis: just saying, a pugs life is hard enough without you wanting to shove it in a bag Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I don't even want a pug it's cruel Janis: now maybe Janis: 13 year old you couldn't be told shit Grace: ever maybe excuse you very much Grace: god, leave me alone Janis: whatever Grace: what time does he go to work in the AM? Janis: 6 Janis: they'll be asleep 'til later though, come 'round like 9 and then Cass can go do what she wants for the day Grace: k Janis: you're not all fucking Janis: messy are you Janis: don't scare him Grace: you're such a bitch Grace: I wouldn't do that Grace: he's a kid Janis: well if he's still there you've only just finished christ Janis: don't rip my head off, you're the one doing all this shite Grace: I said I'd do this first Grace: so fuck you Janis: whatever Janis: if you're gonna be a fucking trainwreck I ain't gonna let you Grace: if I was a trainwreck I wouldn't be coming Janis: we'll see, won't we Grace: whatever Janis: not whatever, it's serious Janis: he's 6, he can't just be left with anyone Grace: I told you, I'm fine Grace: if you don't want me to show up I won't Janis: not like I have a choice Janis: don't fuck it up Grace: don't talk to me like that Janis: if you're gonna have an attitude, don't come Grace: k I won't Grace: makes no difference to me Janis: exactly Janis: don't Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: I I was you Janis: I would not be there when I get back Grace: wasn't planning on it now my night's opened up babes Janis: I mean it Janis: you've had a fair warning so stay the fuck outta my eyeline and earshot Grace: so do I Grace: better things to do now I'm not waiting on you to tell me to come over thanks Janis: what, like letting another ex degrade you or texting back your friends who hate you? Janis: you're a fucking joke that was never funny and now Grace: none of your business Grace: literally ever Grace: but actually I only kept him around this long so he could drive me cos I knew you'd tell me to come with one foot out the door Grace: so glad I bothered Janis: sure, blame me for riding your ex when you could've got the bus like any normal person, princess Janis: what the hell is wrong with you? Grace: I'm telling you why he was still here cos you're apparently convinced I'd turn up in idk what kind of state Grace: like I'm her now, okay Janis: This was a stupid idea Janis: he doesn't know you, what you're like Grace: it was your idea, I just agreed to it Janis: no, it was his Janis: but I shouldve said no from the off, you can't be trusted Grace: but I can, babes Grace: you just don't like the idea of that Janis: like fuck can you Janis: you're a mess Grace: you wish Grace: I could do this, you just don't want me to Janis: why would I? Grace: cos if you did you could go Grace: & I know you want that Janis: well I want you around less Grace: fine Grace: I'm not Janis: Good Grace: tell your boyfriend we can work something else out since I still owe him Janis: fuck off Janis: this is what I don't want Janis: go away, no one owes anyone anything Grace: not true Grace: but whatever Janis: true, do one Janis: get it out of your fucking head Grace: like I said, whatever Janis: tell me when you've gone Grace: I am gone obvs Grace: I'm in a car Janis: Good Janis: I can leave Grace: sure can Janis: I'm not forgiving you for this Grace: you hate me anyway what do I care? Grace: you're gonna be more of a bitch Grace: wow Janis: do you not understand what you've actually done Janis: I can't be around your or I'm scared I'm going to genuinely hurt you Janis: cut the bullshit for one second 'cos this is real Grace: then don't be around me Grace: it's your own fault that I'm not doing this Grace: you could be on your way to wherever Janis: Yeah, 'cos going is really an option now Janis: you're not that stupid Grace: I'll come over now if you stop being such a bitch about it Grace: but you literally never can Grace: you'd rather act like it's my fault cos I hung out with a boy who I've fucked a few times for a few hours Grace: nothing even really happened Janis: I'm not interested Janis: it's too late now it's ruined Grace: you want it to be too late Grace: it's literally not Grace: I'm saying Janis: well funnily enough this isn't about you Janis: he's not gonna wanna go Grace: did he say that? Janis: I don't know Janis: you think I can listen Grace: Janis, get a fucking grip Grace: he loves you he obvs wants to go Janis: well I just told him we couldn't Grace: so un-tell him Grace: OMG Janis: oh yeah, that's not insane Grace: you're insane if you don't go, bitch Grace: what did you say for why you couldn't go? Janis: idk, just that we couldn't, end of Grace: so tell him I got held up but I'm omw Grace: he can be mad at me what do I care Grace: he looks cute like that Janis: piss off Janis: fine Grace: you're not gonna like hit me when I get there, are you? Janis: no Janis: get a head start if you're that concerned Grace: I'm just asking Janis: just Janis: thanks Janis: alright Grace: ew stop Janis: don't start Grace: don't thank me Grace: I'm not doing it for you Janis: whatever Grace: I told mum & dad Grace: so you might wanna put dad on mute Grace: just saying Janis: knew you would Janis: fair enough Janis: noted Grace: that's not for you either so don't like thank me again Grace: so weird Janis: I know on that one Grace: sure Grace: do I get a where now or are you just going? Janis: you gonna tell them that too Grace: ew Grace: no Grace: you know mum would drive there or something cringe Grace: I'd die of second hand embarrassment Janis: Good luck to her Janis: just gonna see how far we can get Grace: really? Grace: or is that what you're telling me cos you think I'm gonna tell everyone Janis: yeah and I wanna seem dead cool Janis: of course really Grace: everyone in this family would 👏 that Grace: so free spirited of you babes Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't give a shit Janis: hopefully we get murdered so I don't have to hear the 👏 Grace: I'm not telling them so you won't have to Grace: so don't get murdered Grace: okay? Janis: not sure it's a negotiation sitch Janis: do my best Grace: yeah Grace: I'm like 10 away again so Janis: alright Janis: we're out front 🚬 so I'll see you Grace: ew Grace: of course you are Janis: what do you mean of course I've never smoked Grace: bitch please Grace: I'm stupid, not oblivious Janis: well recently but I ain't a smoker Grace: didn't ask Grace: if you wanna not be as good of a runner that's not my buisiness Janis: 🙄 Janis: bitch please Grace: 🙄 Grace: ugh why do boys HAVE TO talk so much Grace: just drive Janis: 😂 Janis: if that wasn't typed I wouldn't believe I'd just heard that right Janis: probably 'cos you don't wanna talk to him? Grace: I don't wanna hear how AMAZING it'd be if I gave him a blowjob rn Grace: boy no I don't want to die Janis: you better get off the phone to me if you're doing that Grace: that's what I'm saying tho Grace: not happening Grace: me in a car crash is your dream, babes Grace: also I'm so close to barista boy's house, is that a compliment or can he only last a minute? 🤔 Janis: idk who it even is so I can't tell you Janis: you should know surely Grace: I just remembered the answer Grace: & why he's an ex Janis: grim 😏 Grace: lowkey need out of this car before he gets more highkey Grace: ugh Janis: you really shoulda got the bus Grace: bus drivers creep me out Grace: they're always staring at me like I'm walking around with my boobs out Grace: ew Grace: at least I know this perv Janis: at least there's witnesses on the bus Janis: and a company to complain to if you're feeling it Grace: OMG don't Grace: I'm having the worse day if this is my last one Janis: it be like that Janis: not often having a banging one Janis: 'less you plan to OD or have a heartattack fucking a stripper or something Grace: I know you'd LOVE for me to be murdered but can you not please Janis: well quick gimme his name and license Grace: UM no Grace: let's keep it at you not knowing who he is, thanks Janis: you would rather be murdered Janis: also I'll see when he drops you off 'less you're gonna make him park a road over like an embarrassing mum Grace: tbh Grace: & yeah I so am Janis: you're a nutter Janis: idgaf Grace: exactly Grace: so you're just gonna be a bitch Grace: & I can't even rn so Janis: so Janis: you don't lurve him, clearly Grace: that makes it worse Grace: duh Janis: you'd rather I slag off the love of your life Janis: I mean, do, on the reg Grace: I could defend that Grace: not spending a whole afternoon with this boy just cos I don't wanna be alone Grace: there's nothing I can say about that Janis: meh same Janis: least you ain't going away for a minibreak Grace: the fact you can say that like its a bad thing is why I don't ever wanna know you Janis: 🙄 you're so dramatic Janis: we're bonding, bitch Grace: oh excuse me, you get to miss school with a cute boy & it's such a drag Grace: & he loves you can't forget that Janis: he does not Janis: behave Grace: he so does Grace: the most dramatic 😍😍😍 I've ever seen Janis: probably just wants road head init Grace: 😂 Grace: thanks for not shagging him in the middle of the restaurant tho, really appreciate that, babes Janis: ryan was putting me right off Janis: didn't do it/not do it for you, obvs Grace: you were doing the opposite of putting him off so obvs Grace: idk how many times he asked me to sit on his lap Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: 🤢 Janis: woulda had to drag you off on principle Grace: I should've to crush him Grace: v tempting Grace: but killing him was not the mission sadly Janis: really gotta call it a day 'fore she gets you in on a murder pact Janis: fuck telling ma and da, tell someone who'll actually do something about it, like Grace: oh so you want him to live a long & productive life, okay Janis: not about him Janis: you would not do well in prison Grace: you should be encouraging me to go then Grace: duh Janis: nah Janis: imagine the letters you'd write Janis: no hair straighteners, no make up Grace: at least I wouldn't have to stress about my prison wife being prettier than me Grace: so might be 😍😍😍 Janis: you've got plenty experience being someone's bitch, true Janis: if you wanna come out, just do it, btw Grace: I told you, I can't Grace: would love to Janis: 😂 Janis: every girl you know is a massive bitch, I don't see how it'd be any better Grace: I wouldn't date any of them ew Grace: I don't even like them Grace: as friends Janis: you're so weird Grace: you're so rude Grace: I'm not weird Janis: you don't like your friends, how is that normal Grace: It's normal of everyone I know Grace: none of us like each other Janis: Mental Grace: 🤷 Janis: have you considered Janis: not Grace: babes, do you wanna be more specific? Janis: not being friends with people you hate Grace: obvs Janis: annnnd Grace: and what? Grace: you know what the answers are Janis: why though Grace: like I said, you know so Janis: I don't know why you would Janis: well Janis: maybe Grace: you so do Grace: & we don't need to go into it when I'm stuck in a car with this boy, do we? Janis: whatever Janis: i'm easy Grace: I know Grace: but if you don't want me to show up a mess don't upset me Grace: 🤷 Janis: bit rude Janis: you just called me a slag Grace: you wish Janis: yeah lifelong ambition that Janis: dead wanna follow in ma's footsteps Grace: yeah obvs Grace: really get that vibe from you Janis: you get what I give ya, babe Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you know it's true Grace: I didn't say it wasn't Janis: hmm Janis: d'ya reckon if I 'turn Mia, Drew would fuck her to death? 🤔 Grace: not something I wanna think about thanks Grace: ew Janis: you were all about the murder plots five seconds ago Grace: but he's so old & she's so bad in bed Grace: I can't Janis: 1. he isn't really is he, he's not even 40 yet Janis: 2. know you're hating but going that hard sounds like you have firsthand so Grace: 👌👌👌 fine he's sooo gross whatever Grace: & you think I do anyway & I'm talking to you rn so Janis: meh probably would Janis: just an FYI so you don't get a callout post on your callout post Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: can you not I'm trying to direct an idiot who has already gone the wrong way twice Janis: that's how he passed Janis: #roadhead Grace: mhmm Grace: I'm getting out this is stupid Grace: ugh Janis: that was funny, coulda laughed, bitch Grace: you don't know I didn't LOL Grace: & I'll never tell you bitch Janis: woulda heard you from here Grace: it wasn't that funny babe Grace: I'm not gonna go that hard Janis: inside voice who? Janis: your fault diego is deaf, btw Grace: RUDE! Janis: 😂 Grace: it's so freezing Grace: how are you just outside casually Janis: 🙄 Janis: just tough like that, obvs Grace: sure Janis: 'scuse you bitch Grace: excuse me why Janis: don't deny it Grace: literally did not Janis: you've got such an attitude problem you know Janis: I blame the parents Grace: just blame me Grace: it's how this goes, hun Janis: your hard on for them is unbearable Grace: I'll add it to the things Janis hates about me list Grace: thanks so much Janis: seriously Janis: it's not natural Grace: I'm not normal or natural now, okay Janis: okay zooey Janis: calm down Grace: no Janis: ick Grace: 🤷 Janis: you're real gross, graciekins Grace: keep repeating yourself babes Grace: nobody's over it or anything Janis: know you hate yourself but refering to yourself as nobody is a bit touched Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you here yet ugh Grace: I'm walking get over it Grace: if you can't see me I'm obvs not Janis: hurry up good god Janis: places to be Janis: lorry drivers to suck off Grace: shut up & I could Janis: could you Grace: OMG Grace: leave me alone Janis: 😂 Janis: ⏲ Grace: do you want me to turn around & go home? Janis: you don't get to hold it over me, your idea Janis: chipchop Grace: I can do whatever I want Janis: ooh Janis: go on then Grace: fine Grace: bye Janis: 👋 Grace: 👋 Janis: DID YOU THINK THAT'D WORK Janis: genuine question Grace: I don't know or care what you're talking about Grace: I'm just genuinely going home so Janis: bless your heart Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you better not be Janis: he's all worked up ow and YOU said you wouldn't do that to a kid Grace: fight me later, babes Grace: I'm tired Janis: fuck off, Grace Grace: literally am Janis: get in here now Janis: this isn't a game Grace: stop treating me like a pawn then, bitch Janis: hurry up Janis: stop timewasting Grace: stop talking to me like that Janis: whatever Grace: not even Janis: fuck sake cry about it later Janis: you owe Jimmy, not me Grace: feel free to tell him I still do cos you can't stop being a bitch for 2 seconds Janis: shup up Janis: you're so pissy Grace: exactly Grace: I'm in no mood for you being so rude to me for literally no reason rn Janis: I'm not gonna lick you out for doing something you have promised to do Janis: get over it and we'll be done here Grace: you get over it Grace: cos I'm over you treating me like this all the time Janis: uhuh Grace: so I'm not coming & you can deal with that Janis: 👍 Grace: 👌 Janis: well tah for nothing, you massive cunt Janis: and I've changed my mind, I am going to hit you if I see you Janis: ✌ Grace: you're so welcome Grace: & I'm unsurprised Janis: Don't come anywhere near me I swear to God Grace: why would I? Grace: I turned around once for you already & now I have to find someone else to pick me up Janis: good thing you've disappointed half the lads in school then isn't it Janis: plenty of potential pity rides Grace: yeah Janis: disgusting Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you reckon you hate yourself but you don't enough Janis: actually vile Grace: noted Janis: seriously fuck you Janis: I can't have one thing Grace: & I can't have 5 seconds without you slagging me off Grace: so Janis: boo fucking hoo Janis: it isn't even comparable you selfish bitch Grace: so devastated for you that you can't leave Janis: it isn't just that are you so fucking Janis: forget it Janis: actually give up on you but I mean it Grace: fine by me Grace: you're horrible to me anyway Janis: at least I fucking notice you cunt Janis: who else does, no one Grace: yeah cos that's the attention I want Grace: thanks Janis: well poor fucking you with all your fake friends and boyfriends Janis: you can go back to feeling better about it when I have no one again, status quo Grace: I'll happily take all of that over a second of you being real about how you hope I die or whatever Janis: no shit Janis: I know Grace: obvs Grace: you know everything, yeah Janis: shut the fuck up Janis: this isn't about you Janis: you don't get to ruin the one thing I have and have a pity party like I should care Grace: no, it's about you freaking out that your boyfriend's gonna leave you Janis: fuck you, seriously Grace: I hope he does if this is how horrible you're gonna be Janis: well you can't have everything Janis: sorry, princess Grace: I don't have anything duh Grace: you've said it enough times Janis: bullshit Janis: I've told you, I'm not feeling sorry for you Grace: literally wasn't asking Grace: but it makes no sense to tell me I can't have everything & also tell me I have nothing Grace: so like Grace: figure out your insults Janis: you always are because you're pathetic Janis: I ain't got time Janis: some of us still have places to be Grace: sure babes Grace: me too Janis: difference between me and you is, I actually do it, Grace Janis: can tell the 'rents the danger factor is amped up if you still reckon you care Grace: I was actually trying to help you & I'm so glad I bothered so guess what no Janis: 💔 Grace: obvs Grace: save it for the former barista Janis: you really are that stupid Janis: you think I'm still there or Janis: you get to ruin my life and not even understand what the fuck you've done, yeah, why not Grace: I don't care where you are, you still love him anyway Janis: shut the fuck up Grace: why should I? you won't ever Janis: because you don't get to take it away and fucking talk on it like you have any idea Grace: I can do whatever I like Grace: you're that stupid if you think he's not gonna come after you Grace: wherever you've gone Janis: No, he won't Janis: but you wouldn't know that or why 'cos you don't know a thing about it Grace: Unless you've killed him, yeah he will Janis: really 'cos it's me that's had this conversation with him, not you Janis: thanks, truly Grace: oh so you think he's that stupid too Grace: you really know how to treat people, babes Janis: no because he's got his own fucking issues, Grace and you've forced my hand so yeah, now I've had to do something really fucked Grace: I haven't forced you into anything Grace: you did it Janis: bullshit Janis: I wanted to go with him and because of you I'm going alone, you can't deny it 'cos if you'd just fucking did what you said you would then he'd be here too Grace: Take responsibility for yourself, Janis Grace: You're going alone cos you treat people like shit and expect them to just take it Grace: I didn't make you leave him there Grace: you could've stayed with him easily, what he wants is to be with you Janis: you aren't people Grace: what's he though? you love him & you did that Janis: fuck you and fucking easily as if you've ever had a real relationship with anyone, and I don't just mean lads Janis: how dare you lecture me Grace: yeah sure make it about me cos you can't handle what you just did Grace: you could've just stopped being a bitch to me & it would have fixed this Grace: you could've stayed with him like you want instead of running away Janis: well no I couldn't or I would have Grace: then don't blame me Janis: it's your fault Janis: I can't make it any clearer Grace: it's your own fault Janis: no, it's yours Janis: you get treated like shit because that's how you treat me and expect a fucking groveling thanks Grace: I don't even Grace: & I didn't expect any thanks just not for you to make me feel like shit for a second Janis: you always feel like shit Janis: and you want it to be my fault but it ain't Grace: yeah so that makes it okay for you to add to it Grace: sure Grace: the things you say & do are your fault, babe Grace: even when you want them to be mine Janis: you're incapable of doing anything and not making it about yourself Grace: well I'm sorry Grace: all I've got is myself & I can't do this with you anymore Janis: no you're not Grace: yeah I am Janis: well save it Janis: one thing Janis: and it wasn't even me asking Grace: it was still you that ruined it Grace: for yourself Janis: if you like Grace: I don't Grace: but it's what's happened Janis: know negging is super effective on you but I'm not buying it Grace: I don't care Janis: I know Janis: so stop pretending you do Grace: I'm not pretending, I told you I can't do this with you anymore Grace: I'm not Grace: stay away, come back, I don't care Janis: lovely Grace: just actually leave me alone Janis: like I've said, this isn't about you Grace: & like I've said, I do not care Janis: sure Grace: I'm muting you now Janis: I sincerely don't care Janis: you are the last thing on my mind Grace: so glad Grace: 👋 Janis: if you were, you wouldn't feel the need to say it Janis: so go and stay gone because I have no energy for you now Grace: [is ignoring cos nothing more I can even say at this point]