#thisiselle

[ellebellerose-blog]

This is why

I want to keep writing. Writing always seemed to be such a huge comfort to me growing up; stories, poems, lyrics, anything that came out of my mind and on to paper.

Writing was a huge comfort to me because I was quite an emotional kid. I felt everything so extremely deeply- which is something I love about myself, but also sort of hate. I was full of emotion, but struggled to speak to anyone about anything at all- especially the immense, paralysing feelings inside of me. I was surrounded by a wonderfully large and beautiful family, but not a single person I felt I could open up to. I truly learnt the difference between being alone, and being lonely.

I only realised recently that I stopped writing on a regular basis when I was seventeen and had stumbled across the other half of me; my boyfriend, Wesley. And, as cliché as it sounds I believe I stopped writing at that moment because, for the first time in my life, I was wholly and selfishly happy. I could actually be me- not that I had any idea who ‘me’ was. I found myself blurting words at him without worrying about who might hear, or judge, or ignore me. It was utterly breathtaking. Thankfully, at twenty-two years of age, I can say that I am still with Wes, and am still blurting words at him. We have also just began our brand new, exciting adventure in Cheltenham. Being 2 hours away from my family - another reason to get back into writing.

Don’t get me wrong, those immense, paralysing emotions are still lurking around the depths of my brain and I know that no man is going to make them fade away, so I figure they’re better transformed into words on paper or screen, rather than floating around my conscience awaiting a crack in the surface to seep through.

So, this is why.

This is Elle.

[ellebellerose-blog]

Starting somewhere! Day One.

[peanskean]

Dope Thoughts by Element Lyri out now!!! ALL Platforms Everywhere Right Now Artist/Songwriter- Element Lyri @thisiselement Single Song - Dope Thoughts Produced by - Peanskean @peanskeanent #DopeThoughts #PeanskeanElements #FoundElements #PeanskeanBeats #PeanskeanProductions #Single #DopeMusic #TheRiddler (at Atlanta, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B36cd1MnGXh/?igshid=6b2clyzdtsdb

[ellebellerose-blog]

Mini DIY Hamper as per my post 🎄🎁

[ellebellerose-blog]

This is Christmas!

Christmas is almost here! 

I am a complete lover of Christmas; the lights, the decorations, maybe even some snow! It is by far my most favourite time of year.

Alongside the warm, magical feeling is the stomach twisting anxiousness of PRESENTS!

Having such a large family inevitably means having to buy lots of presents, so it’s helpful to have a good memory, but essential to have effective money-saving skills as there is no chance one pay packet is enough to cover five siblings, three parents, the grandparents, cousins and friends! Especially a pay packet of a 22 year old woman who has just moved home... 

Christmas, for me, is by far the best time of year but also the most stressful. Sometimes it can be hard to stay jolly.

Like today for instance; I am set at my desk in my new, fantastic, 4 week old job. I’m working away, saving the world one Wellbeing Grant at a time. Then suddenly, a little glimmer of Christmas enters my mind, and BAM! WHAM! Gurgggle... My stomach starts to churn- it feels like 300 butterflies have just been let out in my gut... What is this feeling?! Is it excitement? Is it wind? Am I having a panic attack!? Don't be dramatic, Elle. My presumption was just a hint of anxiety mixed with excitement, but whatever it was made me feel uneasy and panicky.

Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to create a perfect Christmas? My main reason is that I want my family to have the most wonderful day; I want my little brothers and sister to scream with happiness every minute of the day, (in this daydream I have noise cancelling headphones at hand). I want to see my parents’ eyes to light up as if they were still kids themselves as they open their presents and get drunk on baileys and prosecco. One day I hope I can achieve that, but in the back of my head is an evil little voice telling me that my income will never allow that. Isn't that awful?

I really am not deluded. I know that my family would never agree with that evil little voice and that I don’t have to break the bank to put a smile on their faces. Society has deluded us into thinking that money is the key to everything; this will make you ‘prettier’, that will make you ‘happier’. Price tags have taken centre stage while sentiment and thought have been left sweeping up after. 

This year I have tried to focus on my budget, (like I normally try to do and end up failing miserably). GroupOn has been inspiring for family days out at a portion of the price. However, in failing to read the small print I have spent around the same as usual. *facepalm*. Another idea was a DIY hamper full of edible goodies such as paté, jams, chutneys etc. This is something I will 100% try again next year but will do more research initially on different products for better prices - for the last minute rush, TK MAXX was amazing!

*Gurgggle..* um.. that should be enough Christmas talk for one evening. Ill get back to the drawing board for the last presents tomorrow! 

Any ideas for me? Please?!

This is Christmas! (yay!.. sob..)

Love Elle 

x

[peanskean]

They call this plug in "the kings microphone " but Queens sound best on it.. working on @thisiselement "Dope Thoughts #PeanskeanProductions #PeanskeanBeats #PeanskeanElements #ProTools #MusicSync #DopeThoughts #BabyGo2Work #QueenMic #FemaleTakeOver https://www.instagram.com/p/B06GmjzHjMC/?igshid=169uj0nal21e5

[peanskean]

This how I feel all day.... Thanks El @thisiselement for seeing the real me lol - Peanskean Riddler #TheRiddler #RainyNights #PeanskeanProductions #SmokeBreak #StayTwisted #InTheSky #SmokeTunes #CerebroTheBeats #DopeThoughts https://www.instagram.com/p/B0J6g9JnuD8/?igshid=998q3195fkdi

[peanskean]

Mixng @thisiselement "Dope Thoughts" in Studio today... Mixing still a crazi process to me... but I'm on it - Peanskean Riddler #TheRiddler #RiddleMeThis #20DaysOfFocus #PeanskeanElements #PeanskeanProductions #MixByPean #PeanskeanBeats #ProToolsMixing #CerebroTheBeats #StudioMixer #SexyVoice https://www.instagram.com/p/BzjBkAyHIa4/?igshid=mkgg1xjw0smj

[peanskean]

Hey @thisiselement I'm starting a day early... #20DaysOfFocus ... Producers Engineers what plug ins yall using on yall Master Bus? - The Riddler #Producers #Mixing #PeanskeanProductions #MusicSync #PeanskeanBeats #Plugins https://www.instagram.com/p/BzYcJbfn5lp/?igshid=105vdl3pvy5es

[peanskean]

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A post shared by Peanskean - Famous Amos (@peanskeanent)

Thanks El @thisiselement for the 📷📸... I see us getting a yacht.... Background Music - P firedance Music produce by - Peanskean @peanskeanent Background Vocals - Pharothagr8 @somaidoo #BabyGo2Work #PeanskeanProductions #PeanskeanBeats #afrobeat #hiplife #africandream #worldmusic #backgroundmusic #syncme #MusicSync https://www.instagram.com/p/B24HyGCnKR0/?igshid=12r1kobikdnqt

[peanskean]

Everybody Get up and Feel this fucking Energy.. I feel it.. even tho I'm tired as hell... shout out @thisiselement shout out @adamivy and Stay Focus - Peanskean Riddler #TheRiddler #PeanskeanProductions #20DaysOfFocus #SetLife #MusicLife #SuperVillain #Day17 (at Atlanta, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0BJNcMHATI/?igshid=1b95dji6k8jxm

[peanskean]

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A post shared by Peanskean - Famous Amos (@peanskeanent)

This sum island world wide type music..... @thisiselement what u writing... Peanskean Riddler #TheRiddler P Baby Party 80 (instrumental) Beat by Peanskean for Peanskean Productions #PeanskeanProductions #20DaysOfFocus #PeanskeanBeats #MusicMarket #MusicSync #WorldMusic #islandmusic #islandbeats #babyparty #FLStudio #musiclicensing #VideoGameMusic #TvMusic #FilmComposer #StrangerThings3Music https://www.instagram.com/p/BzrR_mHHlBi/?igshid=wk93r0fbzlb6

[peanskean]

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A post shared by Peanskean - Famous Amos (@peanskeanent)

New Fucking Beats That RnB Shit P Thoughts 59 (instrumental) Produced by Peanskean Who a sound good on this one? @thisiselement @tpain @beyonce @champagnepapi @chrisbrownofficial @ellamai @therealtank #PeanskeanProductions #FoundElements #DopeThoughts #PeanskeanBeats #MusicSync #TheRiddler #Composer #BeatMaker #MusicLicensing #MusicPublishing #RnB #PianoMan #SloBeats https://www.instagram.com/p/BzNxlaAnfAS/?igshid=1eoa1gazacvz1