#this’ll be the last one tho I don’t wanna drag these out and make it seem like I’m whining

[slimslamflimflam]

“two weeks ago i was-“ “i’m in the hospital and i-“ “my family needs dire-“ “i have terrible illness and-“ SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know whoever’s out there mass sending these doesn’t have a single damaged bone in their body for shit, but if they’d like I would gladly find their exact location and give them a reason to beg for hospital funds

[cnc-hoebayb]

New Years w/ Joel

Day 5, it’s Christmas, and ya girl is tired 😴 I loved this little marathon it was so fun and different so i hope y’all liked, i saved one of my favs for last, it’s a little long tho sry. So enjoy some first kiss Joelito action~

.

You step out of the house and into the cold with as much enthusiasm as you’d had all month. This was your season, the only time you felt at peace and ready to take on anything.

With Christmas already passed and the new year arriving within hours, you were full of so much excitement you could barely contain it.

You were never one to pass up a good party, so when your friends had managed to get you all into the hottest event in town, you swear it was a Navidad miracle.

You spent all day gettin dressed up and making yourself pretty that when the time came for you to leave, you left the house with the intention to have the best time and to make this new year your bitch.

.

You get to the venue and are a little taken back. Definitely not what you expected. Instead of a building or even a small night club, you were staring into the heart of an old parking garage.

You check your surroundings and decide if you should leave or not. Instead you send a text to the group chat of friends you’re meeting.

“Uuhhh?? Estoy aquí....?”

You wrap yourself tighter in your jacket and wait for a text. Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea to wear this short of a dress.

You gather some courage and walk into the sketchy garage. Your keys are secured in your hands tightly and you’re so thankful for the pepper spray on your keychain.

The first and second floors are cold and dark. Little flurries of snow brush against your cheeks and you sniffle. The lights are so dim and you hate every part of it.

You start halfway up the steps to the third floor and you can’t help but feel you’re being watched. The sound of very faint music is in the far distance and it gives you slight reassurance.

Until you hear footsteps behind you. You whip around and see nothing. Your heart races a little and you hope it’s nothing.

The footsteps get faster. You stop in your tracks and yell out into the empty void.

“If you’re trying to scare me, stop being a coward and do it already” Something shuffles from behind a car and you inch closer cautiously, pepper spray ready to go.

Your breathe hitches from adrenaline as you finally reach the side of the car. You lean over to get a good visual and prepare yourself for.....

Nothing.

You sigh in relief and as soon as you turn back around a figure jabs at your sides teasingly and screams “bOO”

You scream and throw your keys at the person quickly, not even realizing who it is.

“Tranquila, T/N” they say with a chuckle and you clear the hair that fell over your eyes from your scare.

“JOEL YOU ASS” you’re relieved but annoyed at the same time and hit his arm with your fist.

“Damn good thing it was just me,” he observed the keys you threw a him. “Cuz i don’t know how you’d make it with throwing your weapon AT the bad guy,”

He pulls you into the same hug he gives you every time you see each other and you feel more at ease. He’s warm and smells like the cologne you like.

His arm lingers on your waist and you hold back a tiny smile. He was always so sweet with you, even if he could be a total jerk sometimes. You’d been friends since high school, so you knew his antics, and it was always in good fun.

“This place is scary dude where the hells the party” you shiver and stand closer next to him.

“Lo sé, it’s weird, but trust me you’re reaaally gonna like it up there,” he motions up and pats your back. “3 more floors up tho sorry”

You “ugH” annoyingly and follow him up the stairs.

As you reach the last staircase of your journey, the party being held becomes more noticeable to you. The music is louder than ever and you hear a multitud of voices filling the scene.

At this point you’re running up the last few steps and get a first look at it all. It was the same old format of the parking garage. But there were tables upon tables of drinks and snacks, a setup of beer pong and numerous other games. Your favorite was the lights, the dark space of the building let the fluorescent colored bulbs bounce off the walls and dance across moving bodies.

There was even a damn dj in the far corner, a crowd of people jumping and singing in a circle in front of him.

“What the hell???? ?” It slips from your mouth and Joel laughs. “Weird, huh? Like what is this place, who thinks of this??” he jokingly agrees.

You guys wander around the area until you make your way to a drink stand where you see the rest of your friends have congregated. They’re taking shots and already seem waaayy above Joel and your party level.

They shove a few drinks in your guys faces, trying to get you both a little “loose” as they said. “You guys are always so uptight, have some fun,”

You look at Joel with a hesitated look because you knew how much he didn’t like the whole “getting trashed at a party” scene.

He always told you how much you didn’t have to hold back at parties with him. He felt bad that you liked to make him comfortable and stay somewhat sober through these kinds of nights.

It wasn’t all for him tho, he was your best friend, it felt so wrong to have him sit back and be the only one not participating. And plus, you always managed to have way more fun together anyway, alcohol or no alcohol.

He looks at you reassuringly before starting, “I’m good with just this drink, but i know T/N wants one,” you shoot him a glare because he knows you weren’t planning on drinking. “Joel, no it’s okay, i don’t-“

By then your friends are already cheering you on and pouring one more for you. “I’m not letting you be a loser with me tonight,” he says to you with a smile. “Have fun, you really deserve it, I’ll be fine”

You crack a little side smile and cross your arms disapprovingly. “Fine.” You take off your bulky coat and toss it on the table. “Just one, that’s it”

You grab the tiny plastic cup and gulp it down with ease. You shiver a little from the impact and chase it with the coke Joel had in his hand. “Not so great?” He laughs and you hand his drink back.

You agree with a little “mhmm” and separate yourself from the group before they make you do another. Joel follows as you lead him to another table that seems to be a “make your own drink” stand.

“Is this sketchy???” He says and you shrug, “i dunno, better to make our own than drink whatever the hell that shit was that they just gave me” you make a face and he laughs.

“Alright then I’ll be the bartender,” he makes his way on the other side of the table. “What can i get ya, ma’am?” His accent forms into a terrible southern drawl.

“Surprise me, cowboy” you mock and he starts scrambling at the various liquids surrounding him. You realize what he’s trying to make and observe with a grin as he catches on to his big mistake: no ice, no blender.

“Uuuuhhh...” he second glances around and puts his hands on his hips. “I fucked up, didn’t I” you glance at his mixture, the saddest piña colada you’ve ever seen, and throw a bendy straw in it. “I’ve seen better, but this’ll do,” you take a sip and hold back how fuckED his mixing ratio was with a sarcastic “mmmm....”. He throws a stack of red plastic cups at you.

“Te odio,” he says as you throw a cup back. “I know it’s your favorite so i thought I’d try,” you beam on the inside at his little meaningful acts of kindness he always did for you.

You look towards the crowd around the dj growing and spot your friends once again. “Ven,” you motion towards them. “Let’s go dance,”

As the night went on, time seemed to almost drag on in your anticipation for the New Year. There was only so much dancing and mingling you could do for hours on end.

You were thrilled when the dj stopped the music suddenly and made the announcement. “5 minutes everyone, get ready for the countdown soon”

The crowd cheered and gathered around the tables to pour themselves more champagne and random drinks. With the sudden rush of people preparing themselves, you found yourself cut off from your group.

You wandered around in hopes to find at least one of your friends to share the moment with. But with time passing quickly, you decided to toughen up and enjoy it alone.

Becoming more aware of your location, you remember that there was a scheduled firework show across the city that was probably visible from here. You find the nearest staircase and climb the last 2 floors to the roof.

You wrap your arms around yourself and blow warm air into your hands as the cold hits you first hand. You look up at the open sky and see the light snowfall, reflecting off the faint city lights in the distance.

You lean against a cold rail on the edge of the building, your teeth beginning to chatter quickly. You get lost in a sudden new year daydream.

You close your eyes as you imagine some fantasy love interest- typical. It was always this time of year that made you want it more and more. Someone to sweep you off your feet with a huge romantic gesture. When the moment is perfect and the snow is falling just like this.

Someone to find you unexpectedly, tap you on the shoulder and say-

“Que haces güey?????”

The fantasy is cut off by another lame scare attempt from Joel. “BrO” you say out of fright and when your shivering becomes more intense his smile fades a little.

Oh shit, where’s your coat,” he starts to take his off and wrap it around you, rubbing your arms to warm you up. “I th-th-think i lost it,” you chatter, the cold and sudden nerves hitting you.

“I saw you come up here, you wanna go back inside where it’s warme-“ he’s cut off by the sudden burst of fireworks in the distance. The both of you jump a little, not even aware that the new year countdown had just ended.

You both stare up at the bursting lights in the air, not realizing the distance that was closed between you both.

He had you in his arms as an attempt to keep you warm and you hadn’t noticed just how bundled up into his chest you had become.

“Happy new year lol” you joke, trying to lighten the air that you both just missed the big moment. “Good thing we’re up here so we didn’t have to watch everyone have gross New Years makeouts,” He laughs to agree and you continue to watch the fireworks finish off.

They start dying down one by one and you close your eyes to make your New Years wishes.

You open your eyes to find Joel staring down at you, “What?...” you say nervously as he smiles.

“I’ve known you for years and i still can’t get over how you do that,” you finally step out of his grip and watch as he talks to you.

“I’ve seen a lot of New Years rituals like the whole colorful underwear for luck or love, or even when people eat all those grapes as the clock strikes, but I’ve never met anyone who straight up just makes wishes,”

“Listen you can roast me all day for my weird superstition, but I’m just sayin, maybe you should try it before you talk smack,” you joke and he leans against the rail lining the building, closing his eyes.

“Alright,” he says and rubs his hands together. “I’m all in, teach me how to do this whole wish thing,”

You take the opportunity to roll your eyes at him since he’s not looking. “There’s nothing to teach, just make a wish,” you stick a tongue out at him and mock him even more.

“My eyes are closed, but i can see that” he points at you with a little frown.

“Ok shh I’m starting,” you get silent and watch the faces he makes as he’s thinking and wonder what the wish is. His furrowed brow softens and a shy smile plasters his face, he giggles and rubs the back of his neck, he was nervous.

He slowly opens his eyes and stares right at you. You’re wrapping yourself deeper into his jacket and give him a confused look. “Ta’ bien, güey?” You say as he makes his way to you.

“I just-“ he laughs nervously again. “I didn’t have a wish i guess,” you roll your eyes. “Dont do that” he continues. “I think i just realized something tho...”

You give him a look and you’re more confused then ever. “And...?” You suggest for him to go on. “You’re the risk taker in this friendship, you always have been,” he starts.

“And you always peer pressure me into taking more risks sooo,,” none of what he’s saying is making sense to you so you listen understandingly. “I want to tell you how i really feel about you.” Your eyes grow wide and heart skips a beat from anxiety.

You stumble for words but nothing comes out. He looks nervous- no- more than nervous, but he finishes. He grabs your hands in his and you know he’s not joking this time. “I’ve just- i always knew there was something between us. Ever since i met you.. you became more than my best friend. You’re somehow the angel and devil on my shoulders, you’re my positivity when I’m down, you- you’re basically my everything.”

You try not to get emotional at the sudden confession. You couldn’t deny you had felt it too, just never let it surface for the sake of your friendship. Your eyes water a little through a shy grin and that tells him everything he needs to know.

“Can I.....can i kiss you?” He almost whispers and you melt.

“I-“ you rock back and forth on your heels nervously like a child. “I think I’d like that,” you finish and he smiles the biggest you’ve ever seen, his perfect teeth peeking through and his eyes shining against the moon light.

He takes his time and grabs you by the flap of his jacket that was blanketed around you. His hand slides up your neck to cup your cheek gently and you can’t help but look to the side embarasingly from the touch.

“No te pongas tímida..” he says in that voice that he’s used on you so many times. For as long as he’s known you, he always knew how to relax you when you were spiraling.

You look up into his eyes and they’re so familiar, yet you’ve never seen this look in them before. You see his breathe in the cold air and it feels like you’ve been looking at each other for an eternity now.

He leans closer.....

His eyes never leaving yours

He smiles once again before his eyes flutter shut. You quickly do the same and feel the warmth of his lips brush to yours.

The contact is slight and not full yet. You both pause almost as to savor the moment. Feeling this tiny touch from him was making your senses go crazy.

He lets out a shaky breathe and finally presses his lips to yours.

At first they softly meet, resting against each other nervously to find the perfect position. It’s short and sweet, a bundle of anxious bodies snuggled up against each other.

The next moment is more courageous. You both know what the first feeling is like, and suddenly you become more open.

Your lips begin to move against each other’s, finding a rhythm to work with. He’s holding onto you so gently still and it’s the most safe you’ve ever felt before. With that, you reach up to touch him. Letting your fingers roam the side of his face, and he lets out a loving sigh against you.

He has both hands on either side of your face now and he’s holding you still. His lips roam from your lips to the corner of your mouth, covering as much ground as they can. You smile and he continues to kiss your cold cheeks, your chin, your nose, before finally returning to your lips.

He stops and lets them hover over you again. His eyes are closed and his breathe is heavy like yours. His arms move down around your waist, pulling your bodies together. He takes a breath, and suddenly he’s lifting you up off your feet, his lips meeting yours once again.

He spins around once and you smile against his mouth as he sets you down, feeling a smile grow on him as well. “What the hell was that,” you brush your lips against his as you speak. “I dunno, saw it in a movie, just always wanted to do that i guess.” He says innocently and you lay your head on his chest, his arms around you to keep you locked in a hug.

Now that’s one way to start the year off.

[hyercns-blog]

( the cuteST )

a bitch is Tired rn after pulling my usual shit, aka staying up until 5am for no reason only to stick out a two hour lab, cry while doing my connections page on my late lunch/packing break and napping in the car, so excuse the seeming lack of enthusiasm lkfdsjglk. hey i’m kat, i’m 20, canadian, and my current means of life rn are chocolate, drag race ( i.. am team anyone but b*b* rn, no offence but my girl needs to come back to earth and stop rubbing me the wrong way sdfgkjgfd ( i think sh*ngela deserves it most despite being more of a tr*xie stan tho js ) ) and 3am you in me listening parties with myself four months after its release rip !! i’m a uni student and in love with sowoo so you don’t wanna know the agony that comes with picking one over the other. you can hmu on d*scord if you’d like ( just find me in the gc and message me from there fkskf ) and this is so boRING, it’s like the life is sucked out of me omg. anyways hyeran, a whole.. other positive muse bc jesus, how many of these do i have rn ?? this is so out of hand man, but nonetheless here’s a bit abt the brat:

- ̗̀ wait, wait, was that JEON SOMIN i just saw? damn, it was actually just that TWENTY TWO year old MUSIC PRODUCER/BARISTA, YUN HYERAN. speaking of them, did you hear that they’re known as THE VIRTUOSO around gangnam? i guess it makes sense considering they act so EBULLIENT & LOYAL but at the same time so MAGNANIMOUS & DIFFIDENT. they’re also apparently a PANSEXUAL FEMALE OUTSIDER who uses SHE/HER pronouns. ( kat / 20 / gmt-3:30 / she/her )

yun hyeran, a daegu native with an older and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

tbh this is a copied intro from a few months back and i don’t have the time to perfectly incorporate her recently developed bg, so pls anticipate a small bio with that explained HERE

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older brother, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her brother’s still exists, it’s just that he’s a bit of a toxic influence on her and she tends to distance herself from him

went to uni in seoul to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) and found her way into the world of production !! by junior year, she’d transferred out of her original program and majored in that instead and has loved it ever since; she recently graduated

moved to gangnam bc.. idk, she just wanted to KDFJSGLGKFD

impulsive brat

would visit jeju island when she was younger bc her aunt lived there

she adores said aunt, her dad’s sister and the maternal figure she Deserves, so overall jeju holds a special place in her heart

for the time being, she works full-time as a barista at the café just a block from her cute little studio apartment while looking into internships at record labels for her to take on a little further down the line ( no rush bc it’s already quite competitive and she’d rather enjoy what she has going now )

she’s also making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music, something she’s had for abt two years now

she’s not even close to making it big yet, and she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

this is so short now that i’ve shortened it immensely iK, it’s a little infuriating if you ask me ljkgdfjls

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s a very loyal person, v e r y. while like i said ( and will elaborate on in her bio ), her relationship with her brother is Not Great, she hasn’t completely given up on him. maybe for the time being, but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line, leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind if he does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little naive and is a p gentle soul ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal

spontaneous tbh, moving to gangnam was a little last minute on her part, for one

she’s a bit reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? those first few points above mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

v strong overall, takes people’s shit and if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast. doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

positive, ugh. maybe not sickeningly sweet, but still. kinda explained parts of it above and i’m 95% gone mentally rn, gotta spare that for other little details gsjklf

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone

uhhh

has a good understanding of english, her mom’s an american national so she grew up with it being spoken in the house at times

prob speaks it better than i speak french, but still wouldn’t consider herself fluent

plays piano and bass guitar, but knows her way around a flute and tenor sax ( you don’t know how tempted i was to say clarinet bc of jiwoo gjflkgds )

prob had some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten ( i’m shit with pet names so if lucy sounds lacklustre.. you know why rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses somin’s been wearing a lot of lately ?? hyeran wears them too but.. actually needs them, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, just a bit, but god help her nonetheless

her favourite subject in school was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks at the café

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic but.. i’ve gotta get myself together for the day so this’ll do for now i hope ??

so if you’d like to plot, im me here or on d*scord ! i prefer the latter personally, but whichever’s easiest for you. i have a list of a few of the specific wcs i have in mind ( for the time being, catch my lazy ass avoid listing all the basic ones and revising a few i have on an old blog ) for hyeran up now, which you can find here, so just lmk if any of them appeal to you !!

[dxrkblaze]

Dark’s 2018 New Year Resolutions

I rarely do resolutions, but this year was a little different for me. I’m just gonna put this under a read more bc it’s been a very rough 2017. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and I want to try my best to be a better person next year. So, this’ll probably be pretty long, personal, and therapeutic.

(if I tagged u in this, u can just scroll to the bottom if u want lmao I prob just put a lil message down there)

I’m gonna stop dragging people down with me when I feel sorry for myself. I may still vent, but I’m not gonna feel sorry for myself anymore.

I’m gonna stop feeling negative about my creative work (whether it’s art or writing) without warrant. And news flash, Dark, a lack of popularity or a negative review is not a warrant.

In addition to this, if I do feel negative because of constructive criticism, I’ll do my best to fix whatever the issue was and not dwell on it. If I fix it, it’s fixed, it’s done, and the work is better for it in the end. The work was never “terrible” to begin with, no matter what I tell myself. It’s simply improved afterwards, and I can feel positive about it then.

I’m gonna stop treating fandom popularity as my endgame. If I ever actually get popular, that’s great, and I’ll be happy to share my work with a larger audience. But that will no longer be my primary goal in sharing my work.

Also, I’m gonna stop comparing myself to/being jealous of those who ARE popular in this fandom.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, I’M GONNA STOP COMPARING MY WORK TO THAT GOD-FORSAKEN MEGA-POPULAR SILVAZE HIGH SCHOOL FIC. MOVE ON, DARK, IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS.

I will take what my friends tell me about my work as the truth. If they say they liked it or thought it was good, it’s because they liked it and thought it was good, period.

Consequently, I’m gonna stop trying to find ~hidden motives~ in what my friends tell me, especially regarding what they say about my art. Again, if they say they liked it, it’s because they liked it, dummy. 

I’m gonna stop picking apart every little detail of what others say, because it only makes me feel like shit and question things.

Prime example of this in 2017: I remember Ghostie tagging me in that one “new artist memes” post (old memes: ‘my art is terrible’ vs. new: ‘my art is terrible but that’s ok bc im learning/having fun/etc). Even tho she CLEARLY said smth like “I’m not saying ur art is bad this just reminds me of u”, I couldn’t stop thinking “she thinks my art is terrible and this is the way she’s telling me”/“everyone else prob feels the same way and just doesn’t wanna hurt my feelings”, and that sent me into another negative episode. That’s fucking stupid, Dark. Don’t do that.

((ghostie if ur reading this plz don’t feel bad abt that lmfao ily and I was being a dumb))

Moreover, I’m gonna stop dwelling on stuff like that. Whether it’s something someone says, a negative review, constructive criticism, anything. I’m gonna move on.

If I get a compliment on my work, I will not deny it.

I’m not gonna drag myself after every negative thought that pops in my head. It’s okay to feel negative sometimes. But, from now on, I’ll remember the positives too.

I’m gonna stop viewing myself as inferior to everyone who creates “good” art, whether they’re a stranger or my friend.

I’m gonna stop viewing writing as an inferior talent to art. 

Thus, I’m gonna start striving to be better at art because I want to and it makes me happy to draw, instead of getting better to “better myself as a creative person”/“be a better/more likable friend”. That’s toxic, Dark.

I’m gonna stop believing that I can’t be talented at both writing and art.

I’m gonna remember that becoming a good artist is a process, just like becoming a good writer was.

I’m gonna stop telling myself that my art is unbearably bad. It goes against everything anyone has ever said about my art. My art is good. My art is good in its own way, just the way it is, and I can only improve from here. Just like your friends have told you, Dark.

I’m gonna remember the old me more. Like, 12/13/14 year old me. Because that person serves as proof that just because someone doesn’t review/favorite a fic, doesn’t mean it didn’t leave a lasting impression on them, or they felt it was a waste of time to read. I never had a fanfic/deviantart/anything account for a while, so I never reviewed/favorited my most favorite fics of all time that I still think about to this day. The world’s a big place, and my work has likely inspired more people than I think.

I’m gonna stop beating myself up over any of this shit, and live my life the way I did before 2017 happened.

And, finally…

If I start breaking any of these resolutions next year, I won’t just run crying to someone about it. I’ll reblog this post, and try my best to fix my mentality.

Thank you all to everyone who helped me through some really, really rough times this year. Especially @maliwarm, @lordoftheghostking28, @aurora-boring-alis, @chariat, and @weezernaut. I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted this year. You guys always picked me back up and made me feel better. You let me vent to you whenever I was feeling shitty, no matter what it was about, and you did your best to help me out. I was an absolute shithead at times this year, but you still listened and made me feel so much better in the end. Thank you for just… caring. You all have made me stronger for next year, each in your own way. Love you guys.

[hycrans]

( the cuteST )

a bitch is Tired rn after pulling my usual shit, aka staying up until 5am for no reason only to wake up three hours later to watch bts run, so excuse the seeming lack of enthusiasm lkfdsjglk. hey i’m jules, i’m 20, canadian, and my current means of life rn are chocolate, the x files ( iM LATE IK SFGDJLK ) and 3am you in me listening parties with myself rip !! it’s been almost a month since its release, i need to Relax dammit. i’m a uni student who just got off for christmas break and in love with sowoo so you don’t wanna know the agony that came with picking one over the other without a bit of help. you can hmu on d*scord at HAPPY S*OKJIN DAY#2030 ( don’t.. call me out for not having an updated name since his birthday’s passed, i’m not v bright pls ) if you’d like and this is so boRING, it’s like the life is sucked out of me omg. anyways hyeran, a whole.. other positive muse bc jesus, how many of these do i have rn ?? this is so out of hand man, but nonetheless here’s a bit abt the brat:

- ̗̀ JEON SOMIN, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ̖́- – have you seen YUN HYERAN? people’ve said the TWENTY TWO year old has been running around the streets of jeju lately, which is odd because aren’t they a BARISTA/MUSIC PRODUCER during the day? anyways, i know they’re known to be EBULLIENT and TRANQUIL but recently i’ve heard they’ve been MAGNANIMOUS and DIFFIDENT, but i could be wrong. ( jules / 20 / gmt-3:30 / she/her )

EDIT: i somehow forgot to mention that she’s.. not sure where she is on the lgbt spectrum but she knows she’s Not Straight JFGDSLKJGK but she’s panromantic so yeah sgjkdl. i’m a whole mess today, i’m sorry lol

yun hyeran, a daegu native with an older and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

tbh i don’t have much of her bg figured out, that’s always the last thing i get to so rip

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older brother, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her brother’s still exists, it’s just that he’s a bit of a toxic influence on her and she tends to distance herself from him

went to uni in seoul to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) and found her way into the world of production !! by junior year, she’d transferred out of her original program and majored in that instead and has loved it ever since; she recently graduated

moved to jeju island bc an aunt lived there when she was young and she LOVED to visit, made a few friends there and would always whine abt the next time they could all go see her aunt again. so it made sense for her to live, at least for a little while, in one of her favourite places

she also adores said aunt, her dad’s sister and the maternal figure she Deserves, so she came partially to see her more often

for the time being, she works full-time as a barista at the café just a block from her cute little studio apartment while looking into internships at record labels for her to take on a little further down the line ( no rush bc it’s already quite competitive and she’d rather enjoy what she has going now )

she’s also making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music, something she’s had for abt two years now

she’s not even close to making it big yet, and she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

this is so short iK, it’s a little infuriating if you ask me ljkgdfjls

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s a very loyal person, v e r y. while like i said, her relationship with her brother is Not Great, she hasn’t completely given up on him. maybe for the time being, but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line, leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind if he does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little naive and is a p gentle soul ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal, 

spontaneous tbh, moving to jeju was a little last minute on her part, for one

she’s a little reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? those first few points above mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

v strong overall, takes people’s shit and if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast. doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

positive, ugh. maybe not sickeningly sweet, but still. kinda explained parts of it above and i’m 95% gone mentally rn, gotta spare that for other little details gsjklf

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone and is also clumsy as absolute fuCK

uhhh

plays piano and bass guitar ( you don’t know how tempted i was to say clarinet bc of jiwoo gjflkgds )

prob had some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten ( i’m shit with pet names so that’s tba rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses somin’s been wearing a lot of lately ?? hyeran wears them too but.. actually needs them, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, god help her

her favourite subject in school was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks at the café

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic but.. i’ve gotta get myself together for the day so this’ll do for now i hope ??

so if you’d like to plot, im me here or on d*scord ! i prefer the latter personally, but whichever’s easiest for you. i have a list of a few of the specific wcs i have in mind ( for the time being, catch my lazy ass avoid listing all the basic ones and revising a few i have on an old blog ) for hyeran up now, which you can find here, so just lmk if any of them appeal to you !!

[lucidpantone]

Haha oh yeah GoT season 8, Walking Dead post S5...like if I can stomach disappointment at that level, this’ll be a piece of cake 😂

Yes agreed it’s playing out like these are friends of convenience/proximity before you really know who your people are. And I get all these youngens that say it’s realistic or whatever, but is that really what you wanna see in a show that’s supposed to be entertaining and uplifting? I don’t. And at its core bringing a ‘dysfunctional’ friend group together, like that’s the meat and bones of this show. To show different types of girls connecting at a deeper level. Not to show a toxic friend group of girls made so unlikeable and so similar to the antagonists, that people end up not rooting for them in the end. So yeah I don’t get the people that excuse this behaviour as realism...I don’t wanna watch that here thanks.

Also speaking of you know who...do you think there’ll be more with her than just the beach scene?

Thats the whole issue right to me its just the entire girl squad is lame asf and Zoe is just a warm body who appears in pictures. Luca was having her moments but now she is saying nothing even when people are legit making racist comments on her hair. Like even if she was the friend that straddles the fence. Your telling me you aint gonna say shit when people are strait up racist to you?!?!?Like huh?? Also Amber is about to eat a candy bar of shit and its gonna make her look so ugly. BA is hopeless its mean girls who peaked in high school.Yea like no one is entertaining and hence why the audience is so ready to cosign yasmina dragging these girls because no one is redeemable.Its also not that fun to watch tho I am amused at how Britt is shitting bricks everytime her phone buzzes. Home girl has never been this shook in her life. Also agreed if this ending dissapoints its no biggie I have survived the last season of dexter, got s8, I stopped watching walking dead it became so repetitive and lets throw lost in here because talk about needing a fucking mind map to explain that ending. So yea this will be a cake walk for me tho from what we know i think its all gonna just turn out fine-ish. Nothing incredible just fine.

[reihikari09]

DTBY Finale

Aight, finally, Destined To Be Yours is over so here I am with my opinion of it.

Lemme just say that this show is a local in PH so prolly only Filipinos will know this, and hopefully understand what I’m feeling. Also, this’ll be a long ass post so buckle up.

Ok. Before anything else, I need to proclaim my love for the LT of Alden & Maine. I’m a fan. I’m M leaning bc I’m queer af, but nevertheless, I support MaiChard. 

Me:

To be perfectly honest, when they announced the TS, I was hella worried. I was worried bc of 2 reasons; 1st, I wasn’t sure if Maine was ready. I have never once doubted her talent, but still, I couldn’t help it. 2nd, I didn’t think GMA is capable of writing a drama series that’s worthy of A&M.

For the first reason, Maine proved that there was really no need to worry. Goddamn, just thinking of how much she’s improved since KS makes me cry. There’s nothing left for her to prove when it comes to comedy. She’s nailed it a log time ago, w/c, to me, is impressive considering that it’s harder to make people laugh than cry. A sob story can bring anyone to tears, but not everyone will laugh to a joke/antic. But she wasn’t that confident in her dramatic skills before, and I didn’t want her to do the TS if she wasn’t ready yet just for the sake of the fans. Pressure does nothing good; I know this for a fact.

Maine always says she’s not good with drama bc she can’t cry. But a few workshops later, and guidance from Alden & their other co-stars, Maine can already do it in spades. And I couldn’t be any prouder of that. She effortlessly acts on par with Alden, w/c we all know is a great dramatic actor. Not to be biased, but I’d rate M’s acting as 11/10. Seriously.

Me to Maine:

Now, reason #2. This is the thing I was worried most, simply bc I have no trust w/ these TS writers. I’ll admit, I don’t watch local drama series bc seriously, it’s always the same old, cliche’ shit. And GMA, teleserye was never their strong suit. I mentioned I don’t watch local series, but my folks do; my mom & my relatives. And I know for a fact that Ch 2 is more capable of writing a good TS. For GMA, it’s either decent/tolerable or it’s bad. There was a time, I guess, when they made good dramas, but that was a long time ago.

With DTBY, it started out good. In fact, the shows started really good it actually made me believe they can’t screw it up haha. I was so wrong.

I’ll start with my opinion of the characters. Please note that I am completely detaching my Maichard self from these opinions. These are all coming from the ‘self-proclaimed critic who’s a book & movie geek and studied writing & literature for 4 years’ me. Also, the Otaku me. As I share these opinions, I’m not thinking the fact that SinJie were played by MaiChard. I don’t wanna be biased.

Sinag. Sinag was a great character during the Pelangi arc. She was honest, sweet and feisty. And had a good character development during this arc. She would’ve been my favorite character if she didn’t lose all those developments when the whole Sinag-Badong thing. I really wished she didn’t say ‘yes’ to Badong. I understand that she must’ve been pressured bc he gave back the Destiny’s Promise, and they had an audience when he confessed, still, I just hope she didn’t drag the relationship that long bc it came to the point she was lying to Badong bc of Benjie. I dunno w/ other people, but to me that was cheating, and I regarded Sinag to be better than that. Then that kiss at the bar happened. Ok, let’s say it was an ‘accident’, but she never showed any guilt over it. Then the yacht incident, when She got left behind w/ Benjie... I know she didn’t love Badong, she’s prolly going out w/ him out of pity, but c’mon, at least show a little bit of concern about his feelings. She was better than this. Waaaaaay better. And when Badong broke up with her, she tried to fixed thing w/ him and I’m like, girl, when are you going to stop lying to yourself and to that poor guy??? I was so disappointed in Sinag mainly bc I love her & she didn’t use to be this indecisive :(

Benjie. I ain’t gonna lie, I hated this guy. I hated how his character was written. He was a stupid chickenshit. He didn’t have balls to tell Sinag the truth back in Pelangi, he couldn’t admit to himself that he still loved Sinag even after those 2 years. The character development he so fuckin’ deserved didn’t come until 2 weeks before the series ended. I know he regretted what he did to the Obispo fam, and he helped Tala’s operation, but seriously, he redeemed himself in the last minute. If Alden wasn’t playing Benjie, nobody would like this character. He was so badly written.

Me to Benjie:

Badong. Now, He’s always had a soft spot for me. Guys who suffer from unrequited love but refuses to give up always have my vote. Blame my obsession w/ shoujo manga, where in the main guy is most of the time a stupid shit, but the naive main girl still digs him, while the other guy just stands there, ready to claw his heart out for the girl who wouldn’t even look his way. Anyways, like I said, I like Badong, but I know that he ain’t getting the girl. I wanted him to confess tho, just for the sake of getting that huge weight off his chest. I wanted him to confess, but I didn’t want him to be w/ Sinag bc I know they’ll just fool themselves and each other, thinking that they could make it work. And I was correct. I really felt sorry for him throughout this entire series. The poor guy did nothing wrong but there he was, suffering. Thankfully, he was the one who decided to end things w/ Sinag. At least he could still keep what’s left of his tattered dignity. He deserved better. He deserved a girl that’ll give him the same amount of love he’s been giving to the wrong people.

Trish. I think she’s just the stereotypical 3rd party villain. I really didn’t care about her. So long as she didn’t try to kill Sinag &/or Benjie, I wouldn’t feel anything more than apathy towards her. She could’ve lived for all I care, she could’ve died for all I care. 

Ninay. Good character. Best friend of the year.

Tatay Teddy. Too fuckin’ stubborn & hot-headed. 

Lolo Vicente. Too fuckin stubborn  & arrogant.

The rest of the character were ok. They didn’t really have much importance to the story. They probably did, but somewhere along the way, when the writing started to go all over the place, they were just left there. But then again, in a Filipino series, they don’t actually give the minor characters their own story. They’re merely decorations.

Aight. My opinion of the story, tho I think y’all know what I’d say, but anyway, I’ll cut it into 3 parts. The Pelangi arc, After time skip /3rd party/other love interest arc, and The Ending. Here we go.

The Pelangi arc was good. This arc made me excited for the next ep. The characters were still being written nicely, w/ the exception of Benjie. I wanted to beat the shit outta him for being a lying piece of shit. Sinag was still that strong, cheeky heroine I usually dig. Team Pelangi was still complete and everything’s still right in the world. They went through this arc pretty smoothly.

Then came the time skip, and they’ve all moved to Manila (aka 3rd party arc). Ya know, I don’t have any problem if they inserted a 3rd party. I understand that TS writers aren’t that capable of writing a story w/o the 3rd party or love rival. I’m totally cool w/ that. I don’t mind. Tho I think Benjie was stupid af for taking back a girl who double-crossed him before, but oh well. It was until everyone started acting abnormally stupid that this arc finally got on my nerves. Sinag & Benjie stopped getting character development. If anything, Benjie was getting worse, and Sinag didn’t seem like the same person like she was in the preview arc. And, really, I wish there was another way they could’ve written SinJie getting closer again. They were cheating on their respective partners. Maybe not, physically, but definitely emotionally. Shippers may have let this slip, but my logical, righteous self just can’t. I expected more from these characters. Then there’s the whole mess between their families. How novel. Wow. Anyway, this entire plotline was just the absurdity of Teddy & Vicente, and the kids, as usual, were just being dragged into it.

Me to this entire arc:

The ending. This is the last 2 weeks (or less) of the show. This is where the writers tried to redeem themselves by giving what the fans want. w/c is more A&M. The whole eloping thing was predictable, yes, but at least we got great MaiChard moments. I couldn’t help but think tho, that the entire thing was a band-aid solution for the bad writing. It was to calm the raging fans, not to amend the story well, there was no amending it at this point lol. Shoving that thought aside, at least the last few eps were great, and the wedding was beautiful. I can’t say the show was saved, but at least it was a lovely exit. 

Me to the wedding:

To perfectly honest, I didn’t believe GMA when they said they spent a long time to make this TS good. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I did believe tho, when A&M said they’ve given their all to make it good but I think even they got disappointed by the writers LOL. If there’s anything great that happened w/ this entire show, it’s that Maine has gotten hella amazing as a dramatic actress, her & Alden were able to spend so much time together, and they were able to make new friends (esp Maine & Sheena). Funny how all the good things were off-cam.

Despite how messed up this whole show got, I’d still say it was decent, mainly bc of the great performance of the cast esp. A&M. Had it not been for them, I’d say this TS was a clusterfuck (lol I said I won’t be biased but in the end I still am). 

Me to the writers/creative team:

Seriously, GMA/DTBY creative team, your only salvation was the fact that the 2 leads were giving such great performance of your messed up story. I don’t know if some people inside the network are really trying to break the LT or bring the 2 down (or maybe just M), but I tell you, you lose AlDub/MaiChard, you’ll forever be behind ABS. The only way you’ll be #1 w/o A&M and their fans, is if ABS’s franchise renewal doesn’t get approved on 2020. Bc the truth you people are prolly trying to ignore is the fact that you couldn’t make your talents popular. Aside from Alden, none of Artist Center’s young talents are popular enough to stand on par w/ Star magic’s biggest young stars. Hell, what you did to Alden’s career for years isn’t much compared to what he got overnight when the AlDub phenomenon broke out. Handle your talent better. This is why they’re leaving GMAAC, you people don’t know how to do your job. All you do is stare at who’s currently popular and try to bring that person down, but guess what dimwits, y’all ain’t bringing Maine down. Y’all prolly won’t treat her like this if she was under your wing, and boy, am I thankful she’s not. In case you haven’t realized, she’s single-handedly fighting against ALL the young female talents from ch 2. She’s too strong for you guys. Her management is too strong for you guys, her & their (A&M) fandoms are too strong for you guys. 

And to all those money grubbing scoundrels aka tabloid columnists, and online gossip sites (aka e-tabloids ex. PEP), listen up you little fuckers, you could write whatever bullcrap lies you want, but you ain’t breaking her nor bringing her down. The only people who’ll believe your shit are those who’re as brainless as you. Whatever shitstorm all you spawns of hell are planning to destroy AlDUb/MaiChard it’ll never work.

Me to all detractors/haters/bashers:

Anyway, back to DTBY, I’m glad it’s over simply bc the 2 can go back to EB, then do their movie w/c is really what I prefer. Unless GMA could get foreign writers, preferably Korean since I think they write good stories (I dunno much. I’ve only seen like, 3 or 4 kdramas in my life), I’d rather see A&M in a travel show.

I’m sure there were things I forgot to mention but I’ll stop here. This is already too fuckin long lol. And I still have reviews on Koe no Katachi and Supergirl S2 finale that I have to finish. I am so late for those, damn.

Aight. I guess that concludes my thought on DTBY. Again, this is my geek self talking. My MaiChard fan self has nothing to do w/ this (except the last part).

I’m back to my anime & gay shit.

Me to MaiChard:

Me to me:

A thought:

P.S. if someone outside of tumblr read this, pls excuse my language. Then again, this is my blog, I talk however the fuck I want. Bye sweety~