#this could've been 5k words of me talking about him

[reiderwriter]

✍️Introduction and Masterlist✍️

About me: Hi! I'm Kacie, I'm 21, and I use she/her/any pronouns. I'm from the UK but I'm currently an English Teacher in South Korea (if you want to know more I'm totally open to conversations about it!) and this is my side blog, so I follow and respond to comments from @studykac

Writing: At this point in time. I only write for Spencer Reid. I will pass on any requests that focus on other characters because I don't currently write for them. A lot of my work is also NSFW. If you are under the age of 18, do NOT interact with any of my posts that are tagged #maturereiding - please block this tag!! When my requests are open you can request through the Ask box, or through DMs, but please keep in mind I do have a full time job, so I will do my best to get things out quickly. You can find my recommendations in the tag #reiderrecommends!

Other interests: kpop, especially Seventeen, SHINee, NCT and BTS, Criminal Minds (obv), NCIS, reading any genre of books (here's a link for my GoodReads page), Percy Jackson, languages (learning Korean currently!), English Literature, Jane Austen etc.

Requests are: CLOSED - find my request guidelines here!

Writing:

Spencer Reid x Reader NSFW

Everyone Looks Better in a Sundress // 3.8k

Summary: The AC at the BAU decides to take a holiday during a summer heatwave, and when you decide the FBI’s dress code is merely a suggestion, you unwittingly catch Spencer’s eye.

Warnings: Dom!Spencer, sub!reader, semi-public sex, fingering, car sex, degradation, name-calling, edging, praise-kink, dumbification

Everyone Looks Better in a Sundress pt. 2 // 2.4K

Summary: After a hot encounter in your car, Spencer pulls you inside your apartment hoping to give you some more relief from the heat.

Warnings: Dom!Spencer, sub!Reader, soft Dom, oral (M receiving), pet names, degradation, face fucking, messy sex, creampie, breeding kink

Margaritas and Mistakes // Part 1 // Part 2

Summary: On a group night out, you get a little more drunk than you want to, and when Spencer shows up looking like the love of your life and not just your coworker, you realise that the margarita’s are having more of an effect than they should be.

Warnings: Suggestive language, dirty talk, heavy petting, hickeys, making out, mentions of arousal etc. (part one)

Show You What Devotion Is ❤️‍🔥

Summary: After a lustful encounter on the jet, you and Spencer decide to try out a friends-with-benefits relationship. What you didn't expect was for his sex drive to be so high, and your need for him to overpower your ability to function properly.

Warnings: So many, check the post for details.

More Than Words 🫶 // 8k

Summary: After telling a white lie to your family about your relationship status, you're forced to ask your coworker Spencer to pretend to be your boyfriend for a weekend wedding.

Warnings: Mostly fluff, penetrative sex, creampie, mentions of Spencer's childhood.

The Us That Could've Been 💔 // 5.7k

Summary: They say to get over a man, you have to get under another. Spencer isn't sure why the idea of you doing just that makes him feel so bad.

Warnings: angst, unprotected sex, creampie, spoilers for season 8, mentions of Maeve, Spencer is emotionally illiterate etc.

Unhappy Holidays 👻🦃🎄🎆// 5k

Summary: You're unlucky enough to run into Spencer Reid at holiday celebrations four years in a row. In the New Year, you're resolving to rid him from your mind forever, but you never were one to stick to resolutions 👻🦃🎄🎆

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, low-key work rivals, semi-public sex, car sex, hate sex, fingering, thigh riding, creampie, unprotected sex (no condoms but contraceptive mentioned), slight spoilers for s4 of Criminal Minds (but not really).

Flirting with the FBI // 7.1k

Summary: To catch a killer, you have to first out him on the FBI's radar. By hacking their systems and flirting with Spencer Reid, of course.

Warnings: Rough sex, Dom Spencer, bimbofication, dacryphilia, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, use of slut and good girl, more in the fic warnings.

Spencer Reid x Reader SFW

The Lightbulb Moment // 4.8k

Summary: You want Spencer all to yourself for the first few months of your relationship and he's only too happy to comply. Unfortunately, you're two dumbasses who can't keep their hands off one another.

Just Hanging Out // 3k

Summary: To kick off your vacation, you find yourself at Rossi's mansion with your team for a big summer barbeque. A hammock in the garden catches your eye, and you enlist Reid to help you have some fun in the sun.

(Not smut but highly suggestive, read at your own discretion).

Isn't She Pretty, Daddy? // 2k

Summary: You're a teacher, and you have to call in one of your students' parents to talk about their recent troubling behaviour. It's more embarrassing than you thought when Spencer Reid shows up.

Series

That's What You Get // complete 💕

Summary: After three weeks on a case in Vegas and a particularly draining phone call from your mother, you decide to take Reid up on his offer to show you the sights of Las Vegas. When you wake up the next morning, you realise that one of the sights was a 24hour Wedding Parlor, and that you're now Mrs Reid.

Genres: Fluff, smut in later chapters, angst in later chapters, happy ending.

Playlist: Me and You in 2024

Summary: One song fic a week throughout 2024!

Genres: Various, check individual chapters for specific warnings!♡

Answered Requests

(NSFW) Request inspired by Taylor Swift's False God 🙏// 2.2k

(NSFW) Request for a soft!Dom Spencer with cockwarming and breeding kink 💕 // 2k words

(NSFW) Request for Reader introducing vanilla!Spencer to a BDSM lifestyle ✨// 0.7k words

(SFW) Request for Reader kidnapped by unsub and saved by Spencer 💕 // 2.2k

(SFW) Request for pregnant Reader and Spencer who is an absolute fool for her 🌸 // 1.2k

(SFW) Request for shamelessly flirting with an oblivious Spencer ��// 2k

(NSFW) Request for post-Maeve Spencer who uses sex as a coping mechanism 🫡//4.6k

(NSFW) Request for alt!sub!Reader meeting the team for the first time (and they totally think she's the Dom) 🤭// 1.5k

(NSFW) Request for CNC office sex with Spencer 🚫// 1k

(SFW) Request for Spencer finding out you knew Emily was alive 😿// 0.7k

(SFW) Request for training session with Spencer 🤼‍♀️// 1.8k

(SFW) Request for I Can See You inspired angst 🥺// 1.7k

(NSFW) Request for Spencer making the reader beg for it ❤️‍🔥// 1.6k

(NSFW) Request for CNC with soft!Dom Spencer - shower sex 💦// 1.3k

(NSFW) PROMPT REQUEST - Professor Reid doesn't know he's distracting the class 👓// 3k

(NSFW) Request for Sub!Spencer begging reader to dominate him 🫣// 1.7k

(NSFW) Request for Genophobic virgin!Reader ❤️‍🩹// 5k

(NSFW) Request for Professor Spencer with a jealous gf 🐺//2k

(SFW) Request for reader helping Spencer through recovery 🤕// 1k

(NSFW) Request for possessive Spencer reacting to your little black dress 💃// 2.5k

(NSFW) PROMPT REQUEST - Undercover with an "excited" Spencer 🕵‍♂️// 3.6k

(SFW) Request for playing video games with Spencer 🎮// 1k

(NSFW) PROMPT REQUEST - munch! Spencer is obsessed with you 👅// 2k

(SFW) Request for Spencer babying an oblivious reader 👶// 2k

(NSFW) PROMPT REQUEST - sharing a cold bed with Frenemy Spencer 🛌// 3.5k

(NSFW) Request for reader being distracted while Spencer is reading 📚// 1k

(NSFW) Request for Pillow fort sex with Spencer ⛺️// 2k

(NSFW) Request for car confession and oral with Spencer 🚗// 1.7k

(NSFW) Request for dancing the night away with Spencer 💃// 2.5k

(NSFW) Request for the morning after Spencer loses his V-Card 😶// 0.7k

(NSFW) Request for reader confessing to Spencer when he's in his anthrax shower 🚿// 0.7k

(NSFW) Request for Spencer finding readers unusual sensitive area 🤝// 3.5k

(NSFW) Request for Spencer and Hotch!Reader secret relationship 🤐// 6k

(SFW) Request for reader being jealous of Spencer and Lila 🤽‍♀️// 2.1k

(NSFW) Request for gun kink 🔫//3k

(SFW) Request for Shy! Spencer and Flirty!Reader 🫣 // 2.3k

[testingthewatersss]

One day I'll get a request and keep it short, but uh, not today because this could've easily been a series. Under 4k is good for me though, so that's a win.This is my first time consciously shooting for a G/N reader in a long time so, bare with me.

Floodgates Usual Winter Solider context warnings but this is pretty tame tbh Bucky Barnes x G/N Reader Imagine 3830 words Fluff, mild angst. 18+ MDNI Requests open for a while via messages check masterpost for updated availability.

Everybody knows that Bucky is touch-starved. It's the unspoken truth that's used by everyone to excuse his irritable demeanour. It's the reason why nobody minds leaving the common rooms empty when he passes out on the couch in the middle of the day and Steve doesn't let Sam jab at him too much for how sweet he is on you. 

The hope that had flourished when you'd made your relationship a little more public was quickly dying out though. When all the inhabitants noticed that Barnes was still a grouch. If anything, he was more jumpy when people got too close. 

It was Bruce who suggested that the reason might be that the only person who didn't understand this blatant link between being kept isolated for the better part of a century and not tolerating mundane forms of contact might be Bucky.

After a lot of hushed discussion, Natasha was the one who decided to address it. Not being able to stand the undercurrent of gossip, but also not wanting to provoke any kind of intense reaction, she bided her time and cornered you. 

"Does Barnes know he needs some skin on skin, or is he still takin' the long way round figuring it out?"

Coffee catches in your throat. You're in a Starbucks, you've just run a stupid 5k route that you hadn't wanted to and she's asking you this, now?

"Of course, he knows" You reply after a beat, "I mean, we all know, but he really knows."

She looks unsurprised, offers you a brown sugar packet and sits back on her stool. 

"You know, couples-"

"Are you about to give me a sex talk?" you cut her off, humour making your lip quirk, "Please do not give me a sex talk"

"I wasn't talking about sex, we all know you're havin' plenty of that-"

You scoff at her, not bothering to ask how or why that's a topic of discussion at all. 

"-I know exactly what you're talking about..." you decide to say, tone a little more serious now, "...It's delicate, Nat"

"That's why I'm talking to you" she replies, "I want to stop hearin' about it, and the only way I can get Rodgers to stop talkin' is to stop him from worryin' and the only way to do that is give him something."

You consider her words for a moment before nodding. 

"He knows, I know- We all know, but it's difficult for him and I am not going to rush him into anything" You tell her, "but that doesn't mean I'm not keepin' an eye, and for what it's worth, he's gettin' better with the whole thing."

"His attitude didn't seem better this mornin'-" she counters from behind her paper cup, "He nearly Wilson put through a wall-"

"-for trying to get him to go to a couples therapist with Steve." You remind her smugly, "He told me all about it."

It's her turn to scoff then. 

"Any other personal things you want to ask me?" you press, half a challenge. She grins before making her expression intensely serious-

"So, about the sex-"

You don't linger in the cafe for long, and you definitely don't run back. You call a cab, much to Romanoff's dismay. The break from the serious atmosphere of the tower has done wonders for her mood though, and by the time you make it home your arms are ladened with bags. Fast food for everyone and clothes and some new kind of tablet thing that Tony had insisted he can turn into a portable holo-deck.

Bucky is waiting in your suite. 

The second you see him the conversation you'd had about his attitude seems ridiculous. 

He beams up at you so wide that he gets creases by his eyes, and all he can do is chatter about everything that's happened since you left.

Steve annoyed him by out-lapping him on their run. 

Wilson annoyed him, by well, breathing apparently. 

He's finally figured out how to fix the dishwasher, so he doesn't have to call maintenance anymore, and he's finished packing his bag for the mission he's leaving on in the morning, and, he tells you proudly- he's made dinner. 

It's some kind of soup, at least, you think it's meant to be a soup. But, whatever it is, it's good. And he's still smiling as you wash the dishes, bumping his hip against yours when you make a snarky comment about him still not using the dishwasher he's so proud of fixing.

And then he gets quiet. 

You're sitting together on the couch, the same way you have been for hours, with your legs barely touching but with his warm, flesh fingers wound tightly through yours. You think about asking why he's suddenly turned mute, but then you notice the time. 

"When do you leave?" You ask, stroking the back of his palm with your thumb.

"Four" he mumbles unhappily, giving your palm the lightest squeeze, "You're stayin' here, right doll? You're gonna wait for me?"

You laugh silently, pulling your legs up beside you to curl into his side. 

"Don't I always?" you tease, grinning as he reaches over with his metal hand, guiding your lips to his. 

"I'll be back before ten" He promises, "Steve promises"

"Oh, does he?" you murmur, lips still ghosting his, "You know he's driving Natasha crazy"

He quirks a brow, even so, close to his face you can see curiosity shining behind his eyes. 

"Aparently you're a jerk because I don't give you enough skin on skin"

He rolls his eyes, laughing as your fingers find his cheek.

The second you actually touch him, though- the laughter dies. He has to focus all of his energy on not moaning at the contact. 

You feel him tense and lessen the pressure, letting him move instead, pressing another kiss against your lips as he goes back to looking at you, this time, though, there's nothing but adoration behind the blue. 

"you do plenty" he whispers, before moving quickly, standing and pulling you up with him, carrying you effortlessly, "I'm fine."

"I know" You hear yourself agree, although you think he'll hear the doubt in your tone, "But- if you do ever want something, you know I'm here, right?"

What Bucky wants he thinks, is totally irrelevant. 

He wants to lay in your lap for hours, he wants to fall asleep and stay that way for hours because your fingers are in his hair. He wants to cry and not have to hide in a shower to do it. But you deserve better.

You deserve normal.

As normal as he can give you anyway. 

Not that that's much, but he can't control that he reminds himself sternly, what he can control, however, is this.

He can keep the floodgates closed. He can do what he does best and keep it down. 

He can make do with fleeting points of contact. With your hand in his, and your body in the same bed. The warmth of you is more than enough. You being there, smiling safe and lovely is more than enough. 

And when he places you on the soft mattress and watches you start to tangle yourself with the covers, he's once again certain that that is all he needs. 

What would I say, anyway? he thinks sadly, taking his place on the side of the bed that always seems too cold, How could I even bring that up without openin' a whole can of worms? 

His cheeks burn hot with embarrassment, and as he thinks tragically about how much he wants to just reach out and feel you, his eyes start to sting.

"You doin' alright, sweetheart?" you ask, already knowing that he's not. He nods though and forces a smile you recognise. 

"Tired" he mumbles unconvincingly. 

Before his cheeks can get any more pink, you decide to smile back. It works to settle him. So does the way you reach out to take his hand again. 

"I'll try not to wake you up" he promises quietly, "I'll see you tomorrow night"

"Tonight" You correct, looking over at the clock on his nightstand, "It's 1, you're leavin' in 3 hours, you better try and get some rest."

You don't know whether he does or not. He's gone when you wake up, reaching out for the fingers you normally fall asleep holding. He's left a note, telling you he loves you, and that he'll see you soon. And you tell FRIDAY to send him a message wishing him luck. When you don't get a reply, you decide to keep yourself busy. You order a delivery of food, which Bucky needs more than he realises, the state of his small built-in kitchen is shameful it's at best and depressing at its worst. 

In all fairness, a punnet of pulmbs, some milk, 2 carrots and half a loaf of bread is far from that- but still. A stock-up isn't going to hurt anything.

And then you still haven't heard, and the tower is creepy when it's empty. 

Like a school at night, you muse, walking through the walls, chattering to FRIDAY just to have some background noise.

Aside from assuring you that everyone's vital signs are fine, she can't actually do much to distract you, so in the end, you abandon her too and settle for sitting in your suite, on the bed, exactly where Bucky had left you. 

You fall asleep reading and only wake up when you hear the door click open. You beam, rubbing tiredness from your eyes as you wait expectantly for him to come in and greet you. 

He doesn't though. You can hear movement but it's not coming towards you, so you decide to just go to it instead.

"Hi, sweetheart-"

Your happy greeting dies as soon as you see him. Flushed with adrenaline, and tugging at his belt, which is still laden with grenades. When he finally rips it free, tossing it to the floor with such reckless abandon that you can't help but cringe, you walk towards him. 

He's pulling at his vest now. Metal fingers pulling desperately at the straps that hold it in place, growing more and more frustrated as he can't quite get them loose-

"Here" you whisper, hating the look of anguish he's wearing, "Let me help"

His arm snarls as you reach out to replace his fingers with your own. But to his great surprise, you don't even flinch. You just hush out a soft breath and guide the metal palm away. 

"You're fine" you promise, seeing the way he's relenting. 

His brow meets the window as he leans against it, both arms falling lamely to his sides as he focuses on breathing. 

On staying still and not just taking off running until his legs give way beneath him. 

"You're back late" you muse, flicking a glance at the wall, where the time is being projected by what you're assuming is Tony's version of a wall clock.

11: 33

"Not too late though, huh?" you continue, knowing he likes the background noise, "Is anyone hurt?"

Bucky gives a short shake of his head. 

It hurts. The movement sends daggers through his eyes. But still, he bites his tongue and tries to keep still.

He needs the vest off. He needs the layers of heavy, bulletproof padding, gone. He needs to not feel like he's dressed for battle, and he needs the ringing in his head to stop.

"Just you then" you murmur, more to yourself than to him.

"'m fine" he mutters, knowing you won't argue- especially since it's exactly what you've just told him.

You hum in quiet disagreement instead. Tugging the last of the straps free before letting the rough weighted vest fall to the ground with a dull thud that makes you wonder if you should've checked it for explosives first. 

"Better?" 

Your voice cuts through the pulsing in his ears, making him hyper-aware of the way he's still resting his head against the cool glass of a window of all things. 

Is it better? he thinks, rolling his shoulders unhappily. 

"Yeah" he murmurs, "Yeah, thank you, sugar"

And then he turns to you, wearing the fakest smile you've ever seen, and you can't help but reach out and stroke his cheek. 

He flinches. He physically recoils back into the glass with a look so sad that you miss the false grin. 

"They-uh" he coughs, embarrassment burning through his chest, "They shouted my words out through a speaker" he confesses, "I- I probbaly shouldn't even be here- Steve, Tony, they all, all say I'm okay, but I- I might... I, I just wanted to see you"

Your phone is already in your hand. Typing frantic questions to Natasha, to Tony and Steve and feeling your whole chest relax as replies start flooding in. 

The words are deactivated, as deactived as they can be, anyway. He's not a danger, not that a different answer to that question would've changed anything, and everyone knows where he is. When he'd bolted from the Quinn-jet in irritable silence, the entire team had let him go because they knew exactly where he was going, and considering the fact that he's physically uninjured, fighting to get him to go to Med-bay would've been a waste of everyone's energy. 

They still might've tried, in fact, Steve definitely would've tried, if they hadn't all been exhausted already. 

When you look back up at him, your heart cracks straight down the middle.

He's just, waiting. 

Eyes closed, brow on the glass,with his breath making it fog up by his face. 

His back is heaving too, shining in the dim lights of the room. His back is shaking like he's crying, but his jaw is locked tight. 

"What do you need, huh?" you wonder softly, not moving to touch him again, "Sweet, sweet boy- you got off that plane, and you ran- you ran all the way here, and then you stopped in here, why?"

His eyes flicker open, red and sore. 

"I" he swallows, "I had to get it off"

You quirk your head, not understanding, and then you see the vest by his boots and nod. 

"It hurts" he mutters to himself, "It's always hurt. I needed it off"

You know he's not talking to you, but you nod all the same, hoping that it might at the very least encourage him to keep his eyes open.

And then you realise what he's saying, and you can't keep quiet anymore.

"What hurts?" you ask softly.

His cheeks are hot again. He knows that he's embarrassed. That he should be, that it's right that he's burning with shame, but with the way his head is splintering he really doesn't care.

"The vest," he tells you quietly, "My skin, it- uh...it's always... the scars they uh... I- I needed to get it off..."

He looks at you, expecting to see a hint of something. Disgust, maybe? Or pity. What he doesn't expect, is the way you just nod again, expression understanding as you inch closer towards him. 

He bites back a whimper, using all the strength he has left to not just collapse in your arms. 

Keep the floodgates closed.

"Its off..." you remind him mildly, "Your home, it's off... so, what else do you need?"

Bucky blinks, sniffing to try and stop tears from forming as he stares at you.

And then, he hears you sigh, and his chest tightens so much that he can't catch a breath. 

A sigh is never good. He thinks. He's done it. He's finally done it. He's done something that has made you realise he's a lost cause. 

He's the lost cause. 

But, when he forces himself to look back at you, wanting to memorise your face before you leave his world forever, no matter how painful it is, he sees you smiling. Leaning against the window, only inches away from him. 

"I want to help" you promise softly.

A disbelieving scoff bubbles up through the tightness of his throat, and for a second, you think he looks like himself again. Even if he's a little rough around the edges.

"You did..." Bucky reminds you quietly, "I couldn't get it off, and you helped me"

The urge to roll your eyes at his gratitude is quickly tempered by the genuine affection in his tone. You settle for nodding instead. 

"So what else do you need?"

This time, when your hand meets his face he shivers. Feeling something deep in his chest snap as he starts to lean back into the contact. 

"C-could you..." he gulps, desperately shy now, "God, doll- could you just, touch my hair?"

"Your hair" you murmur, love drenching every word as you slowly trail your fingers up past his temple, stroking through the tangled length so gently he wants to scream. 

"Please" he shudders, "don't pull-"

His frantic request chokes off incomplete, the heat in his cheeks making his jaw lock petulently.

"You don't like havin' your hair pulled?" you muse, tone light in contrast to his, "Noted."

"Does anyone?" he wonders bravely, adjusting to the slow, trailing warmth across his head.

You laugh at that, further coaxing him out of his embarrassment.

"Sure they do, Buck," you tell him conversationally, "people like all kinds of things..."

He's melting. He's sure he's physically melting into your fingers. Into the gentle tug and pull, into the wonderful, brilliant sting of human contact.

All you hear is the softest hum. It's content though, so you take it as a win. 

"So since this definitely a winner..." you drawl, bringing your free hand down to his, letting him grasp your fingers in reflex, "What else do you like?"

The part of his brain that isn't purring like a cat, stuttering to a halt at your question. His eyes focus, as he blinks at you, face full of such total adoration that you feel like you should probably look away, but he's so beautiful that you can't quite manage it. 

"You"

That makes you laugh, small and flattered as you shake your head.

"You've got me, Barnes." You remind him lightly, "If we could be doin' anything, anythin' in the world, right now what would we be doin?"

The smile he gives you then is the most precious one he's ever worn. Your whole body flushes with affection as he chuckles silently reaching up and pressing a kiss against the back of your hand, as you scratch your free knuckles against the back of his head.

"I have no idea" he mumbles honestly.

Your brow quirks, before you move, pivoting and opening your arms to coax him in.

He freezes, staring at you with longing as he offers a sad shake of his head-

"I can't- darlin'-" he stammers nervously, "I want to- I- I really- I-"

"You" he hears you whisper, "can do whatever you like."

He shakes his head again, stubborn this time.

"Not that" he mumbles, "Not to you"

"To me" you repeat, curious.

His lips tighten and then part, breath shallow as your thumb finds his cheek.

"I won't be able to stop" he explains, voice quiet like he's sharing a secret, "If I start, I won't ever be able to stop and you- you're-you're everythin' to me and I- I can't put that on you- because I really- I mean it- I don't-"

Your head is already shaking, your arms are moving, pulling him into your chest. 

"I don't think I'll ever be able to stop" Bucky feels his words melting into your shoulder, he feels the heat of your body against his. His bare chest burning against the thin fabric of your vest. The feeling of your skin against his threatening to make his knees buckle. "I- I won't be able to stop"

You shake your head, hushing him as his resistance fades away to nothing. As he goes pliant in your arms, head falling to the crook of your neck. 

"I'm sorry" he whispers, "I'm so sorry"

"You're never listen" You mumble in reply, letting his hand go so that you can hold him tight against your front, "I just told you, sweetheart..."

Bucky pulls away just enough to look at you, and when you see tears brimming in his eyes, you can't help but hush him again, noting the way his hands are wound tight into the fabric you're wearing. 

His lower lip pouts, he tries to avert his gaze but it doesn't work. He just can't manage to tear his eyes away from you. From the way you're looking at him, full of affection. Full of patience and kindness and-

"Didn't I just tell you, huh?" you murmur, smiling a little again, "You've got me"

He blinks, still not understanding. 

So you do the only thing you can. 

You kiss him. You kiss him until he pulls back, until he dips back down into your arms, tired and aching and pressing his own kisses against the skin of your throat.

"I'm not goin' anywhere" You remind him gently, "We don't ever have to stop"

We don't ever have to stop.

Your sweet words rattle through his mind all the way to the bedroom. 

If it weren't for the aching in his knees and the awful cold of the room now that he's not hidden in your front, he might not've even noticed the journey. 

He's too tired, now. His head aches, and his adrenaline is well and truly shot. But the hope of you, of more of the wonderful warmth of you, is more than enough to keep him moving through it. 

I've done worse for less, he reminds himself with every wounded step. 

We don't ever have to stop.

And then there's the bed. The edge of the bed against his calves, and he knows his hands are free and that he should be doing something but he can't think of what, no matter how hard he tries.

You remind him, your hands on his belt, your feet nudging his boots so he remembers to kick them free before finally lowering himself onto the covers.

For a minute the familiar coolness jars him. His head spins and throbs and pulses and then, 

and then your fingers are back in his hair. Your arms are wrapped around him, and all he can feel is warmth. 

Warmth and pressure building behind his eyes. Incredible pressure that finally spills free as his eyes overflow. As he surrenders and clings onto your back with all the strength he has left, and cries.

He sobs, silently at first, tears melting into your chest as you stroke his back. Whispering soothing words that you know he can't hear. Letting him finally just be. 

And then, he's asleep. And so are you, a tangle of limbs and covers and heat. The kind of heat that makes you drowsy, that makes Bucky drowsy. 

Drowsy enough to sleep through whatever nightmares were bound to have been triggered by the missions, drowsy enough to keep him that way for hours in a row. And when he does wake up, for the first time in... well, a long time- he's smiling.

[usmsgutterson]

I think I might have fallen in love- realization fics! Fics with this prompt can be the realization of anything--a characters imminent death, the moment wherein someone realizes they've been betrayed, or they can be super fluffy and detail the moment a character realizes they're in love, the moment where they realize they can see a future with the reader--perhaps one that entails settling down or one that involves leaving the past behind--, the moment where they realize that they want to marry them! Anything goes with this prompt, and I'll write 1-5k words using it!

OKAY- what about nikolai x reader. and it's where he realizes he wants to marry her. maybe r thinks of a solution to some matter of state and he watches in awe how she handles the questions and gets the other's attention. and he's just like "yep. i'm gonna make her my bride" or something like that :)

Motion- N.L x fem! reader

okay, hi! This came out a bit later than I meant for it to--I decided a few weeks ago to plan out a duology to try to complete during NaNoWriMo and that took up a lot of my headspace, where trying to make sure my mental health was on track and I was breathing in something other than stale apartment air took up the rest of it. However, I am so sorry for how late this is coming out regardless!

On another note, my requests close next friday! They close at 11:30 pm AST (which is around 7:30 PST) and hopefully, what remains of my requests will be done by that point. Fall event requests are open until the second and my holiday event will come out sometime between the 24th of November and the 1st of December.

Fic type- fluff

Warnings- none

You and Nikolai were sitting in a meeting, debating with the Grisha triumvirate and several other relevant court members who sat in on Ravkas ever growing list of issues. You'd thrummed your way from matters of inter-palace discontent through matters of civilian discontent and you were up to matters of state.

Nikolai was getting bored watching everyone bicker, each of them trying to stop one another from getting a word in, but you looked as though you'd just gotten started. Nikolai could've sworn you were smirking slightly as you watched Zoya snap at a general, ready to throw a gust of wind at him--one so powerful that it knocked him through the meeting room wall--and barely managing to restrain herself. You looked as though, despite the fact that you weren't Grisha, you were ready to do the same thing.

Genya looked ready to tailor someone into a very ugly version of themself and David simply looked as though he wanted to go back to his work, like he was mad at the fact of his obligations as a member of the triumvirate for pulling him away from it.

"And before you start, Novikov," you started. Nikolai turned his attention to you, smile on his face. "Let me talk my way through this, yeah? You start talking and you might find yourself unable to fill your britches because you simply don't know enough. It's not a matter of the people--it's a matter of the funds we're able to allocate to the cities. If we can allocate enough to cities both big and small then we're setting ourselves up for an economic boom that starts at the big cities, moves to the small ones. It moves to the towns, and from the towns it moves back to us."

"How do you expect Ravka of all places to be able to do such a thing?" Novikov asks, bushy eyebrows furrowed at your suggestion.

"We can get tourists in," you said. "Ravka is broke--that is absolutely not a surprise to anyone in this room. However, to appeal to those who can only afford to take one vacation a year we advertise the cities. The ones with good-quality but still cheap hotels, honest working parents and saintstales as old as the country itself."

"And what of the rich folks?" David asked. "I mean--we can't advertise Ravka for tourism without aiming somewhere that will actually make a difference one trip on, can we?"

"Palace tours," you said. "The Grand Palace--we can make it a tourist spot Friday through Monday, twelve hours, with options for individual touring, group touring, or guided versions of the same. I'll be a bloody guide if I need to, but I know that there are people somewhere who are passionate about Ravkas history to be willing to volunteer their time."

'And how long is this going to take to pay off our debts?" Novikov asked. "I mean--nobody will go for it if it takes us longer than a decade."

"If it takes us longer than a decade, the youngest of us in the room have a chance at seeing it in the last year or two before we hit forty," Genya said. "Nikolai is twenty-four at the current, which means it would take sixteen years if it were to be such a strenuous plan."

"It's not," You said. "Tours of the palace will take two hours going at a slow pace if my walks of the Grand Palace are to have proved anything. If we get six volunteers, then that's one to cover every tour everyday. Ticket prices can be set at 20 coin for a general admission, 10 for children and fifteen for seniors. Max the group allowance at groups of ten and that ranges from 100-200 coin just off the gate. Take that and multiply it by six, and we have 600-1200 coin going back into the coffers of those to whom Ravka is indebted. It'll be volunteer based because the saints know we cannot afford to pay the guides but I would do a twelve hour workday just to prove that my idea is the right move."

"And what benefits could we offer in place of wages?"

"A hot meal when shifts are done, a room at the Little Palace and food by an irrefutable line of direction. We could also put them on palace staffing lists officially so they'd at least be making the minimum wage, but I think that such would constitute as fraudulent somewhere."

Nikolai was deep in thought when you brought up that last point, but with one squeeze from your hand he was back to reality.

"If they would be willing to take a room in the Little Palace for the duration of time during which tours take place, then it wouldn't violate any laws--they'd be working within the palaces, allowing their placement onto the palace staff."

"What is your estimate on how long it would take?" Novikov asked. "On how long the combination of marketing the cities and the palace tours would take to pay off our debts and refill the war treasury?"

Nikolai had been looking at you how he always did--like you were the love of his life. As he watched you answer what both of you had hoped tto be Novikovs last question, he came to a realization.

"A minimum of five years," you said. "And that is with the tours going all year round. If we could have the tours going daily it would probably still be the same such estimate--we're more than one million kruge in debt with Kerch, double that with Novyi Zem, Novikov. The process for clearing Ravka of it's debts is not something that will be instantaneous unless you're willing to sell your home and give the funds to the cause? According to reports I've seen, your home could have us reasonably jumped forward if you sell it for it's maximum monetary value?"

Nikolai could see it right in front of him--two years from then, a ceremony. Watching you walk down the isle, a coronation where you were crowned as queen. A life as your husband, a life with you as his wife.

He glanced at the ring finger on his left hand--it was looking awfully bare, but if you said yes when Nikolai proposed, which he decided he would do right then, it would not look bare for the rest of his life.

"All in favor?" Nikolai asks, giving your hand a squeeze as the thought solidifies itself fully in his mind.

I am going to make her my bride.

Everyone, including a rather embarrassed Novikov, said "I" and you grinned victoriously.

Your plan was barely in motion, but it was starting to gain traction still. As Nikolai pressed a kiss to your cheekbone and the two of you moved to leave the meeting room, the same could be said of his.

[trordiscord]

FEST MASTERLIST

Huge thank you to all of our amazing participants! We have a total of 15 submissions from 11 creators who produced a total of 2 fabulous art pieces and 46,688 written words for this fest!

Please check out all our amazing entries under the cut!

❤ Insatiate by doshu E | 1.9k | Complete | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Voldemort stole both Harry and the Philosopher’s Stone, and doomed Harry to live a half-life. That was ten years ago.

❤ In the library [Art] by chiocchi G | Art | No Archive Warnings Apply

Tom Riddle was always the last one to go to sleep and the first to wake up. Sleeping was a waste of time that left him in a vulnerable state and he didn't trust anyone. Dating Harry wasn't going to change that. Or so he thought.

❤ Friends with Knives (and Benefits) by ChemFreak E | 5k | Complete | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Tom discovers that his fuckbuddy/friend with benefits/roommate Harry has a very compatible kink. What begins as a mutual arrangement quickly develops into something more.

❤ nothing left to lose by eleven_eaves E | 7.4k | WIP | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Earlier that day, they had gotten into such a disagreement, the same one as always. But Tom held all the cards, and he knew it. “Please...” Harry begs. “Please, put it... put it back in me. I need to feel it again.” Tom smiles down at him, vicious and coldly amused. “No.”

❤ monochrome by Ilyaa_zzz M | 5.4k | Complete | No Archive Warnings Apply

Tom deals with soulmates. “I found her,” you say, and it is the tone of your voice that clues me in on what you are talking about. We have gone over this before- the name tattooed on your wrist. We have talked about what would happen if we ever found her, what you would like me to do or say if it were me who crossed paths with her. I called you paranoid, then, because it is only a small percent of people in this world that ever cross paths with their soulmate. But I should have known, if someone could have such luck, then it would be you.

❤ Anniversary by doshu E | 3.7k | Complete | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

There’s a feather-light touch to Harry’s scar, one that lingers before trailing around the side of his face, coming to rest over his lower lip and tugging it slightly. Harry steels himself, then opens his eyes. “Hello, husband,” he says, facing Voldemort’s hungry gaze. “Happy anniversary.”

❤ Identity by crowthing E | 5.1k | Complete | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

It's been a year since Harry and Tom started dating, and a few days since Tom found out about his inheritance. They decide to celebrate their anniversary by taking a trip to the middle of nowhere to check out the Gaunt estate. This should be fine and perfectly safe. If Tom's warnings about his alter ego were actually serious, it would have come up by now.

❤ Stress Relief by Lolo_69 E | 2.7k | Complete | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Tom gets back from a grueling day of work at the MoM only to find his boyfriend already in bed, asleep.

❤ it's kind of tripping me up babe, i've got it bad for you by Limonium E | 3.4k | Complete | No Archive Warnings Apply

This could've been prevented, if they were paying attention. Harry says they were. Voldemort sighs, exasperated. His little menace. “Were we?” “Yeah.” Harry answers confidently. Paying attention to each other. Voldemort pinches him on his side for his cheek. Who would’ve expected magical books to be so volatile around people having sex? * In which they get isekai'd into a cursed erotica book.

❤ We're (Not) Together by doshu E | 3k | Complete | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

From Tom's point of view, they never broke up.

❤ you alone of all creatures by pwplicity (duplicity) E | 3.3k | Complete | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

You never ask, and I do not offer. What we have—what we do—is an illicit, unspoken affair. There is no place for us in the light, where my robes bear a Prefect’s badge and you are addressed as ‘sir’, and so I have been cornering you, for weeks now, in darkened corridors and dusty, abandoned classrooms.

❤ silk of midnight and dawn by Sinning Ilya (Ilyaa_zzz) E | 2.9k | Complete | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con

Harry approaches, quietly, arms raised in front of him. But it doesn’t take long before pale skin transforms into soft fur as dark as the night sky. Red eyes, now green, look at Harry with such an intensity that he has to take a step back. Four-legged and as imposing as he is when standing in two, Tom Riddle has transformed into a panther. It’s a big thing, compared to Harry’s short build, exuding raw power as if it was a second skin clinging to it. It stalks around him, sniffing his clothes with what Harry hopes is harmless curiosity. Harry swallows thickly, with difficulty, the sound almost audible in the sudden silence that appears to have fallen over them. Deep down Harry knows he is safe. He knows Tom remains somewhere inside the beast’s head, that Tom would never let anything happen to him. But it isn’t often that one encounters such a ferocious animal, dangerous and on the loose, so who can blame him if he feels like he is going to shit his pants any second now?

❤ Because it is his by TheOnceandFutureQueenofTarts E | 2k | Complete | No Archive Warnings Apply

He glanced over his shoulder and caught Tom staring intently at Harry’s… well, Tom’s arse. “Tom.” To his credit, Tom showed not an ounce of shame as he let his eyes drift up to meet Harry’s. “Yes, darling?” “Were you just effectively checking yourself out?” Or: One time, someone told Tom to go f*** himself. He took that to heart.

❤ The Green Herring by duplicity G | 0.7k | Complete | No Archive Warnings Apply

There are more important things to know about Harry Evans.

❤ That's Your Boyfriend by solavonn (vonnibel) G | Art | No Archive Warnings Apply

In which Tom decides to try out Quidditch and Harry is in awe featuring Ron Weasley.

[yujikuna]

Bea, tell me about Kags and why you love him. Help me fall in love with him. I think I’m right at the edge because I see you post about him so much lol

KAIT. kait. my beloved kageyama. he is so dear to my heart and soul. when i think about kageyama i think of like, the most pure and simple love imaginable in all aspects of his life.

i think, as a character, one of my favorite parts about kageyama is getting to seeing him grow as a person through doing the thing he loves most which makes sense because for kageyama, volleyball is THE most important thing to him. it's his life. like it really truly is. from the time he could hold onto a volleyball it has been so ingrained into every inch of his life that he really doesn't know what to do without it. which makes his time at kitagawa daiichi so much sadder to think about for me.

kageyama just... loves so deeply and purely to me? but he's someone who definitely doesn't know how to show that love and he comes off as harsh and abrasive (which he is at first glance) and that's why he's one of the most misunderstood hq characters imo. but i think that that pure love he has for what few things he DOES love comes out in the sacrifices he makes and his willingness to shoulder every burden in order to keep them. kageyama loves volleyball SO MUCH that as a child, he would completely forgo getting the game winning service ace just because he didn't want to stop playing.

and as he gets older, we know that he struggles with expressing himself, and we know that he starts to lose the person who he felt like understood him the most. and he gets to that stage in volleyball where it’s no longer “oh i’ll mess up this serve so the game will last longer” but “if i don’t do everything i can to win this very game then i don’t get to do the one thing i love anymore.” and that mentality is both one of kageyama’s greatest assets but the thing that ends up causing him SO much pain because the poor guy just... didn’t know how to communicate his motivations effectively.

so kageyama sacrificing a few serves in elementary school ended up turning into middle school him feeling like if HE wasn’t the one to do absolutely everything, if HE wasn’t the one to push the people around him to be the best, to match HIM, because he knew his own talent, then he wouldn’t be able to play anymore. which as we know, backfired spectacularly, and ended up with him being pulled from the game at a time where volleyball was the only thing he felt like he had. he had no friends, he didn’t have a rival like he wanted because oikawa just hated his guts and didn’t even want to play with him, he didn’t have his grandpa, and he didn’t have volleyball. my poor baby. 

but this is why his time at karasuno and with hinata is so important and wonderful and amazing because they taught him that just because he has the ABILITY to do everything, he really really can’t because that’s not how you play volleyball!! but something really interesting happens because kageyama TRIES to not be the “king of the court” and he TRIES to be a goody two shoes like atsumu said he was, but that’s not who he is. because he’s a really damn good volleyball player, and he’s a setter for a reason. so kageyama’s volleyball goes from “i’ll sacrifice a few serves to play longer” to “i’ll do whatever i can to push the people around me no matter what so that i can stay on the court the longest” to “i’ll shove who i really am deep down inside because that part of me apparently is Not Okay and i just want to play volleyball” to “i am me and i am a strong player but i also have five other players with me on the court at all times so i have to do the best that i can to bring out THEIR best so that WE can stay on the court the longest” and that’s just SO SO SO good to me.

i think that that just like, pure and simple yet strong love he has for volleyball applies to every other aspect of his life. like sure, he’s a little dumb when it comes to everything besides volleyball, and he’s not very good at expressing himself, and his love life probably consists of staring from across the room and not knowing if he should approach the person or not, and he worries that animals are afraid of him. but he finds people who love him because of his intensity and dedication and not in spite of it. and he grows up and gets to do what he loves for a living. and i just think that’s amazing!!!!!

also he’s hot.

[rikilouvre]

pairing · enhypen lee heeseung! reader's bsf & implied female reader ( use of she/her, ms. )

word count · 5k

summary · pulled by your bestfriend heeseung in a generic college year-end party, your introverted self couldn't even start a conversation with anyone. and because of that, your daily mission was to meddle heeseung 'til hometime. pretty simple and easy, right?

notes · slight angst, college romance, typical bestfriend falls for bestfriend trope but with alcohol, mentions of vomit (i'm emetophobic too lol i have no idea why i added this), alcohol, profanities, r-16, heeseung is an implied misogynist in some parts, other enhypen members mentioned, heeseung's pov (continuation) will be posted as soon as i can :) + maknae line's pov, interactions especially reblogs would be very much appreciated. + important note : i have no idea how beerpong works since it's not really smth we do usually. so please correct me and my knowledge from google if ever i got the mechanics wrong. ++ the end was a bit rushed, i wanna post this 'cause i'm so excited.

playlist · [ wish you were sober · lhs ♡ ]

[ maknaes' pov | next (heeseung's pov) ]

heeseung pushes the doorbell button, "are you gonna be good?" he sticks his palm on the brick wall beside the door with the other hand in his pocket. "seung, you could've asked me that before picking me up." the lack of emotions in your tone made him think of what you were trying to imply, so he cocks his head sideways and stared at you for mere seconds before you sighed. "forget what i said. this could be an experience for me, too." you gave him a warm smile before you receive one back. heeseung puts his hand up for you to high-five, clasping your hand on his and holding it tight. the cold wind of the evening night made things feel so magical.

you felt so lucky too since the one you're holding hands with is a school heartthrob. not to mention that you feel spoiled since you have this hidden feelings for him that rush to your cheeks and whole system everytime he comes near you, gives you food from the vending machine everytime he has the chance to, he's just a good bestfriend.

thinking of all of those though, will always make your mind drift to the part where he knows nothing about your romantic love for him. leaving you to so many risky moments of getting caught lacking by him and you would have to often distance yourself since it hurts your swelling heart with jealousy, hatred, and pain whenever he talks about girls he's interested in — girls with banks full of money, girls with chanel bags and sunglasses, girls with everything that you don't possess — and he talks about a different one everyday. he has his good and bad sides, and it just drives you crazy by how he doesn't see you as a potential girlfriend since you're the only girl who knows him best — who knows his favorite ramyeon or when was the last time he cried — since you've been the one there for him afterall. it always feels like you've won, but at what cost?

wow, this party is shit. your mind wanders throughout the trims of the walls of the house, yeah it's a typical suburban homey house but stink is gonna kill you. not exactly you, but your nose. you haven't any idea where it's coming from but it's definitely barf, from the window? no, maybe from the sofa? you stood nearer the sofa to idly sniff the surrounding air, yup. it is from the sofa. you immediately stepped 10 steps away from it and now you're standing beside the tv with your hands clasped infront of your frame. you're nauseous but also felt like it's ridiculous by how someone already managed to soil the sofa with thrown-up beer and food. were they that desperate for alcohol? you continued to observe the furnishes — family photos, dried-up and neglected table plants, not-so-many people for a club but too many people for a house party, and was that an underwear on the groun–

you heard heeseung call your name in a distance, "what are you doing there, silly?" jogging towards you and chuckling at your sight that's visibly showing your nature, eyeing the furnitures like a freak. he grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the punch section. "here, try this." he offered you a red cup with liquid in it — blue in color with loads of ice cubes. you took a lil sniff on the drink and was like, it smells good? "it's just blue lemonade juice and a bit of gin." heeseung patted your shoulder to continue, "don't consume it all in one-go, though. you don't want to end up like jake right there." he gestured in the living room, jake was pogo-rocking on the floor wearing a snapback and sunglasses from the dollar tree. party-people were either hyping him up, laughing at him, staring at him, filming him with their phones, or offering him another cup of the punch. you were on the grip, a fight between life and death where you'll die if you laugh at jake. when heeseung noticed you, he bursted out in laughter for you to join in, "don't be afraid to laugh at him. he loves attention now, don't he?" sharing a moment with heeseung about this topic is the most unexpected thing to witness tonight. you thought he was just gonna drink with his friends and bring you with him for the sake of calling you his 'bestfriend'. and this is also where you realize his hand never left your shoulder. in-fact, he only gripped you tighter. "...cheers?" his red cup in his hand, raising to clink drinks with you. you gave him a sheepish smile before raising your cup as well.

just in cue before things get awkward, someone opened the door with a red cup occupying his left hand, "hyung!" heeseung's friend, jake, as you remember, invites heeseung with his open arms for a bro-hug — patting each other's back from the thought that hee was able to come to the year-end party (year-end wasted sessions with close friends). “hi, miss beautiful.” jake respectfully offers his hand for you to shake, the whole bro mode of him gone without any trace — it felt as if you were talking to sim jaeyun, not jake. his fluttering eyes and charming smile almost made you forget he's an ass most of the times — school vandalism, failing grades, and simply a jerk. you hesitantly moved your hand towards his, when heeseung swatted jake's hand and jokingly said, "c'mon man, not my bestfriend." jake just laughed it off before letting you both come in. wow, who would've thought? your cheeks are hot-to-the-touch from bare minimum.

"seung-hyung, beer pong!" jay called out to heeseung and beside him is sunghoon waving at his senior to come. when hoon glanced at you beside hee, he gave you a suppressed smile before whispering something to jay. heeseung gulped his drink twice before releasing a grunting sound from how the alcohol grazes his throat hot after the coldness brought by the ice cubes subside, he turns to you "hey, i'll be back, okay? but uh do you wanna play with u–"

"hyung! hoon suggested we should let ms. _____ join us. it's gonna be a 2v2 match." jay extended his arm and pointed at you with his his whole hand, nodding at you. heeseung stood there for a minute, thinking of the possibilities that could be :

would it be better if he lets you join? what if you both lose? who will have to drink all the cups of punch? what about letting you join but he'll deal with the consequences? he'll be the one to drink all the cups of punch? it would be stupid to think that there's a 100% chance that you and he will win this, would he want to take the risk for a drunk _____ or a drunk hee? what if he just doesn't let you join? but where would that leave you?

"i want to join." you finally spoke out, which not long did jay respond, "perfect! hyung, ms. _____, let's go." hoon and jay walked towards the tennis table to start setting up the game — pouring drinks in 20 cups, arranging them in a pyramid shape. your attention spun back to heeseung who asked you a question in a concerned tone : "are you sure about this? just play but don't drink too much, hangover might be bonkers for you tomorrow. i'll deal with the penalty if we ever lose." you gripped his wrist, laughing, "i wasn't planning on dealing with the consequences either so, yeah i agree with your plan." he chuckles, "hey lovebirds, you guys go first." hoon elbowed jay in his ribs out of disbelief, but then proceeded to snicker with him. hee waited for you to walk a little past him so he could wrap one of his arm on your shoulders, making the two opponents coo in anticipation, luring attention.

you feel all eyes inside the house stare you down along with heeseung, murmurs that make your heart thump which are making you guess if the murmurs were spoken out of filthy mouth or out of support. you feel your whole body burn — not because of the drink but because of the unnecessary pressure you were getting. you weren't used to this feeling, and you felt like you'll never get used to it too. your feet stopped walking inches away from the table, you couldn't bear the ear-piercing noises of people screeching and screaming, the background music floods your eardrums painfully. all you could do was stare at wherever your eyes find comfortable to stare at, crumpling the hem of your shirt inside your sweaty, shaky hands. it felt like the whole party was swallowing you down and the walls were getting smaller and smaller 'til you were ready to leave heeseung right there right now.

you grabbed a pingpong, "we go first, right?" and threw the most precise shot you can do. score! a ball shot in the cup right in the middle. "aju nice, but i'm better." hoon teased, threw a pingpong ball and fell in the cup nearest to you. he then raised his brows at you in a way that he's obviously flirting with you. a group of 'ooooohs' erupted in one of the watchers. the fuck is wrong with this guy? — you thought. "okay, everyone! how do you guys wanna play this? — should we drink the punches every rounds or after we're done?" jay butted in.

"hey? _____?" you snap back to your senses and inhaled sharply after unconsciously holding your breath, everything was suddenly back to normal. the people are minding their own business, the background music was set at a reasonable volume, no eyes were gawking at you anymore. heeseung was gently shaking you with his hands gripping your shoulders. "do you want to go home? are you drunk? we can just dip now." you started to notice his voice changed into a distressed tone. in reality, you haven't even drank the single cup of punch halfway through so you were sure you were still sober. i mean, you aren't exactly the newbie in drinking, too. it's just that you were too into your thoughts and you weren't really used to packed crowds in parties. "i'm okay. let's start." you finally looked at his face to see his brows knitted furiously, his eyes widened, and his lips quivering.

"every round." heeseung took a sip of his own punch, idly pointing at the drinks as he's talking. hoon and jay snickered to his response, "every round, then. ms. _____ —"

"she's not gonna drink too much so i'll drink most of hers." without hesitation, heeseung removed the ball on the cup full of punch — where hoon's landed — and drank all the way in one go. alcohol carving lines on his throat that made him grunt, "yo, this is strong as hell." he shook his head aggressively as if removing the alcohol spirit in him. this competitive but protective side of heeseung in parties you've never seen. in short, this night is just giving you more and more reasons to like this potatohead — and more and more reasons to forever embrace your choice about agreeing to go with hee to this party.

hoon and jay looked at each other, giving each other looks like they were up to something... hoon proceeded to grab his cup and drink it straight, side-eyeing you with a curve forming on the side of his lips. what is up with him? the nth time you asked yourself for this night. "sunghoon." hee noticed the way hoon looked at you, and with a stern tone he called out to his junior, "drink that shit faster." he then threw his shot onto a cup aggressively yet so perfectly, almost choking the younger boy with his punch. "my turn." jay smirking. he leaned slightly onto the table with full concentration noticeable in his stance, he scored.

"drink up, hyung." jay raised his cup as he did with his brow, gulping every single drop of the punch with a refreshing remark. "ahh, refreshing. ain't it?" who wouldn't start seeing stars in minutes when you just drank 2 full cups in such a short time? the two juniors were starting to make fun of heeseung, and that's where suspicions raised. you grabbed a cup on one of the cups laid on the game setup. the drink smelled so fucking strong, it was almost as if you were sniffing rubbing alcohol straight from the cup. you glanced at the juniors, with disgust and confusion expressions plastered across your face. what a sick prank, for you atleast. you like the guy, ofcourse you'd show concern for him + you're his chaperone for tonight if we're gonna be honest so sober heeseung is the best choice for you to take care of. hee grabbed your wrist, "darling, don't drink. don't fall for their shit." looking at you with dead siren eyes — looking like he's sleepy — you paused for a second to comprehend what he just said. "darling?—"

"nobody can forfeit 'cause that's the rules." jay waved everyone watching to let them know nobody's backing off the game, not even heeseung who's starting to get wasted from the game. "dude, what's with the drinks?" you asked jay in an unexplainable tone that will humiliate him. "oh, ms. _____. senior college students get pranked by freshmen or students younger than them in parties like this every year. hyung knows that, i don't know why he gave in, though... anyway, that's a vodka mix he's drinking. one of the strongest ones!" he clapped in dismissal to let hoon throw another ball onto the cup on your side.

with every round, heeseung became progressively more disoriented to the point that when he moved out of the place he was standing, he couldn't walk a straight line. you reckon him whispering to you, "hey, i'm seeing stars." to which you cracked up. the way he was so straightforward with it and the way he said it so subtly was sure to fart your shits tonight. but then he continued, "i'm sorry in advanced for the shit i'm gonna say and do tonight. i'll treat you to mcdonalds once my hangover goes away tomorrow." he opened his palm which you high-fived. not expecting anything when he wrapped his hand around yours and looked you directly in the eyes while slightly leaning his body on the table with his free arm sideways, smiling at you.

the crowd bursted into woos and coos and screams that will only make your heartbeat so much faster, not because of anxiety but because of hype this time. jay and hoon were laughing at heeseung, to which heeseung laughed along drunkly too when he glanced at the two. "what's funny, broskis?" heeseung pointed at jay and hoon with a sheepish smile plastered across his face. the background music got changed to a disco party song. "let's dance, hyung!" almost everybody gathered on the living room while the rest scattered across every room of the house.

he never let go of your hand and pulled you in the dance floor. his aura when he's drunk is so fucking unmatched. he always has his eyes closed, moving so slyly but is so confident about himself, bobbing his head to the song with his hands up in the air. his perfume filling your system along with atleast a hundred more perfumes worn by party people inside the house.

enough about him, what about you? it's not like heeseung drank everything in the game, you had to have your share, too. you drank around 3 drinks? 4? you honestly couldn't remember. you knew your way around alcohol, yeah. but you never said you can steer your way to alcohol, right? you admit to yourself you didn't have that high of a tolerance so heeseung asking you to dance with him and go nuts, you just had to decline. "c'mon, sugar. let's dance." heeseung still in party mode, you asked him "seung, since when did you start calling me 'sugar' and 'darling'?—"

"everyone! this is for, lovey-dovey people. specifically ms. _____ over there and our best pal, lee heeseung hyung." jay announced over the mic as he gestured at hoon to change the track to something else. "now playing, can't help falling inlove." jay bowed and placed the mic somewhere you didn't care.

your eyes were focused on lee heeseung, your so-dear bestfriend who's now easily wasted and it's been just- what? 3 hours? 3 hours onto the party and he's already groggily dancing you to 'can't help falling inlove'. as his half-closed eyes were focused on you, as well. roaming his eyes around your face, analyzing your features like it was his first time meeting you. when in reality, it was his first time looking at you like this — a subtle smile pasted on his lips that wouldn't just disappear as he tucked the stray hair behind your ear. his light chuckles which you'll never get tired of hearing, especially when you know you're the reason behind it. his hand slowly creeping on your side, gently gripping onto you as he lets you holds his other hand. meanwhile, you found your way to his shoulder, gently massaging him and actually shaking since a dance with your crush is not something you can do everyday. he teases your height every chance he can, though right now he comments, "you look so beautiful in this angle... like you know, our heights match for boyfriends and girlfriends hehehehe." he was wasted, yeah, and he was just so comfortable in saying anything to you at this point. he hesitated to continue his statement before grabbing the guts and proceed, "we should do this more often." you let out a hearty laugh so did he. "why are you laughing?" heeseung asked whilst still laughing and smiling at you. "you're drunk. i'm your..."

he raised his eyebrows still maintaining his tired eyelids in-place, "hmm?" he unconsciously stops swaying, not until you lead him again since stopping the dance would be pretty awkward, especially you both are standing in the middle of the dance floor — squeezed with people who are dancing as well. "i mean, i'm your bestfriend. we can't be together." it's like everything good that happened tonight vanished inside your head, and there you are again with your heartbroken thoughts. you were losing your color as you were dancing with him, which he actually noticed. he lets go of you and proceeded to walk towards the microphone. jay and hoon noticed him, then guided him since he was already hammered. "hyung, what are you gonna do?" hoon, who was almost hammered as well, asked. heeseung was trying his best, and when i say his best, he was trying his best to get on top of the chair without losing his balance which was pretty hard for him since, like he told you, he was already seeing stars. his knees almost collapsed not until the two juniors, and jake — who was already sobered up — supports heeseung's back and pushed him up the chair. "mic, mic." heeseung idly sways on top of the chair while open-and-closing his hand towards jake for the mic. jake frantically gives him the mic, and you just stood there watching him. lost in why he left you on the dance floor and stood on top of a chair, though you truly were lost when he inhaled on the mic — startling every senses you have.

"I LIKE _____." heeseung pointed at you with his whole hand, as the crowd immediately turned to look at who he was pointing at. without turning your head, your eyes were travelling your peripheral vision and side vision, to see who's giving you looks... a lot were. people were starting to whisper and it was honestly like deja vu, but this time it's worse since you're head is already aching so much. you were once again crumpling something under your grip, but this time it's your skin. you were scratching and fondling with the skin of your forearms, "she's a whore! didn't you see her flirt with your friend earlier?" someone shouted from the crowd. "SHUT UP, YOU'RE THE FUCKING WHORE, BITCH." heeseung, with all cruelty inside his body, clapped back at the girl who called you a 'whore', who turned out to be someone from your class. the crowd exploded in reactions of hyping heeseung and you up, leaving your hater devastated. you didn't even realize you were tearing up until you closed your eyes from chuckling lightly and tears started to roll from your eyes down to your cheeks. you didn't know which hurt more : someone you totally don't expect calls you a 'whore' because heeseung said he likes you, or heeseung said he likes you but he's wasted. you couldn't handle your emotions bottled up throughout the whole night, throughout the whole time of liking heeseung secretly. you just had to walk out and ditch, but since heeseung wouldn't let go of you in his sight, he was quick to jump off the chair when he saw you heading for jake's house door. "hey! h—" he panted, running in disoriented lines for you, as jake, jay, and hoon followed him. "easy, you might trip." hoon warned heeseung.

he gripped your wrist to stop your from walking home. you both stood outside the porch of the house, with the party lights from inside and the orange streetlights the only source of light. "hey, _____. i like you hehe did you hear me there?" heeseung, still under the influence, obviously, talks in a giddy tone which pisses you off even more. everything that cheap girl who called you a 'whore' did was enough to blow your fucking sanity off, and one bad thing about it is that you managed to release all your anger out on hee, "heeseung, what do you think this is, us? what do you think about us? me?" you spit out, your index finger pointing at his chest. before he could even grab air, you continued : "do you think this is just some kind of prank or a sad excuse to catch clout and bring home more girls and 'sluts' as you call them? do you think this is something so casual as a joke just to announce to everyone then play like nothing happened tomorrow?"

"you know exactly who you are, heeseung. you know girls would come for my ass once they find out that 'you like me', if that's even true. you could've just told me about this in private, yeah your way of confessing is loverboy-material but— you could've thought about what people are gonna comment about me first." you shoved him so hard he almost tripped himself.

"you're not just some ordinary college boy, everybody wants you. think of what they're gonna call me 'cause the fall is on me." you honestly didn't know if anything you're saying connects to what happened earlier, you thought these are probably feelings you've never opened to someone, things you wanted to say.

and at this point, everyone in the party is listening to your fight with heeseung and some even went outside the porch to hear better of what's up. the 3 juniors a meter away from the both of you.

"seung, i like you too but- we could've settled this when you're sober and when people who are always willing to call names aren't here. that way, i would actually believe you. i—" eyes red and uncontrollable body quivering from the shock that erupted from inside your body, "i'm sorry. for exploding and putting all the blame on you. i really like you, like, like-like you. it's just— it's the girls. you knew this would happen and this is a bad idea. i'm glad that you said you liked me. but we're not sure about that since... look at you." you gestured at his state — swaying with his wrinkled clothes, his lids ready to drop anytime.

you were waiting for him to say anything as you stared him down while he stood there, dumbfounded.

"do you want me to prove it to you?" he finally spoke. you were ready to answer, not until he shuts you up by stepping forward you and softly pressing his lips on yours — pulling you close by the waist with his arm while his hand cups your cheek to guide you. your spirits touch, and you could feel his warm body on your cold skin. you were tensed, so tensed your lips felt like rock hard on his. but then, you got accustomed to it that you just slumped there and gave in. pushing your torso towards him, your hands slowly found their way behind heeseung's neck and pushed him even closer to you, if that was possible, to deepen the kiss. this, is what was gonna make you see stars for tonight. well, you couldn't even see since your eyes were closed so you instead thought that : damn, i feel like i'm in space floating with him.

you felt so numb and you weren't prepared to let go of his lips yet. your tongue working wonders, entangling with his. this euphoric feeling that was once only in your mind, now is true to life. you finally pulled away to look at his face, he looked a thousand times more handsome — the most handsome he could ever be. even better, he looked like his eyes hold the whole galaxy inside them — glistening at your sight while you could see your own reflection on them. as his eyes darted onto yours, a smirk easily forming on the curves of his lips. your eyes wide open, processing everything that just happened. you got startled and jumped a little on heeseung's hold when people started screaming and cheering for you both, this time, you were both the one who had been filmed with phones, offered more punches, and cheered and hyped on. jake's standing there with jay and hoon, proud.

"we're gonna go to mcdonald's tomorrow, everyone! wooo!" heeseung screamed to which party-people laughed, "hammered as fuck, bro!" someone shouted from the crowd. jay butted in to tell everyone that heeseung still hasn't dealt with the beerpong penalty yet, you both lost. the crowd replies with an "oooooh" in a low tone to raise suspense and thrill. letting heeseung throw the balls every so often really wasn't a good idea, now that you've thought about it. "penalty is a cup of en's house mix!" jay announced. "it's a mixture of every drink imaginable, but not really. just gin, vodka, brandy, whiskey, beer, juice, coffee, just those things. all in one cup." hoon explained.

everybody was invited to go back inside the house to watch the 3 juniors prepare the drink in a cup, you and heeseung were both told to watch closely since it's gonna be the last thing you both are gonna see clearly for tonight. "y'all see this bottle? this shi costs our semester fee." jay waved up a bottle of liquor and as he said, expensive. "and this? jake's dad and my dad had to be stuck in yucatan for a few days just to buy this hell of a drink." hoon waved up another bottle, furnished full of swirls and curls, which awed the whole audience. "and this, guys?" jake held up a bottle with a black cap and matte glass body, "this was just bought at the nearest supermarket yesterday." the whole crowd bursted in laughter and genuine expressions as jake was chortling in-place, entertained at his own joke. "and this, guys?" jay held up the glass cup of ice which were put in hee and your drink, "we just pulled it out of jake's freezer." hoon was wheezing beside jake and jay, holding onto his kneecaps for his life. "and this, guys?" jake held up the two cups which you and hee were about to drink, "just kidding, guys. i'm all out of jokes. anyway, let's now watch the lovebirds face their penalty!"

the drink was stored in two cups, half-full. your stomach churning at the thought of how strong the drink is, you were ready to be put in a hospital bed for gastritis 'cause of you and your acidic stomach acid. "ready?" you asked heeseung, arm and hand holding the drink tangled with yours for a more fancy approach at the penalty. "fuck yeah." you both drank up as everyone chanted : "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!". the moment the drink entered your mouth, all you thought was that you felt sorry for yourself and heeseung, you wouldn't be able to take care of neither. it felt like you were tasting a good taste of intense hangover and a sleep at jake's house with the rest of the gang. a few minutes into the drink and you were feeling yourself starting to get wasted. a few minutes after the drink, your sight started to darken and everyone you see looked so funny. when you looked at heeseung, he was laughing to himself. literally to himself 'cause he wasn't laughing at himself, either. hoon was quick to grab his phone and film hee, "hyung, what are you laughing at?"

"the time jake pissed himself last year when— ah- AHAHAHAHAHAHAAH—"

"ya! why me?" it was simply impossible to talk to him seriously at this point. the poor junior who was being picked on demanded hee to do jump and jacks, 30 times, to further shake him up. funny thing is, hee complied and miraculously got through the whole 30 reps of jump and jacks. jake and jay helped hee up beside you. "i want- i- sleep." you murmured to yourself, hoon went near you to hear you. "what?" he gently asked you to repeat what you just said. "i said- i wan slep u idiot." wow, you really managed to cuss sunghoon out while you're literally wasted. your whole body shuts down and lets you sleep at ease, did you even remember where you laid down?

to be continued.

i wanted to mention a tumblr user for my taglist but everytime i try to save a change on this post it just won't save 😭 i've been trying for around 10 times now, what do i do?

[ edit – ]

태그리스트 :

@lalalalawon , @nikiwoo

[silverselfshippingchaos]

❝ you put your arm around me and i literally felt my knees buckle, this is so pathetic. ❞ with Felix!! :>

*evil laughs* This one excites me because it is SO Felix. I’ve been putting off writing this for a while because ✨school✨ but I’m so excited that I finally have some free time!!! I have a few ideas for this one!!! One is during the academy phase and the other during the war phase. Academy Felix really cracks me up, he’s just so awkward. Luckily, academy Ash is just as awkward as usual. They blend well. 

Most of this was written at insane hours of the night, so I apologize in advance for typos. 

This came out so much longer than I expected omg i am so sorry I swear I didn’t mean to make this almost 5k words-

~~~~~~

Ash finds herself out of breath after an intensive sparring battle with Felix, a friend she’s made at the Officer’s Academy. She and him have found themselves sparring regularly for majority of their school year so far. And every single day, just seeing him made her feel so happy. Goddess, he was so cute! The son of Duke Fraldarius... She was well aware of how unrealistic it would be for him to get together with the daughter of some random merchants, but she never stopped imagining. She takes a deep breath. “Alright!” Ash starts, her chest rising and falling heavily, “I think we should call it a day, yeah? Professor went kinda damn overboard with the homework today, and I’m tired as hell. Need to pick out a dress for the ball, too.” She wipes the sweat from her forehead, running her hands through her hair, adjusting her ponytail.

“That’s fine.” Felix says, tossing his training sword in her direction. She catches it (barely) and places it along with her own back in the corner where they were stored. “Welp, Imma head out. See ya during meal time, Lix! I’ll be in my room if you need me.” She gives him a small wave before turning around and walking towards the large, wooden door. 

“Wait.”

“What's up?” She turns around, “Need something?”

“You... You don’t have a date for the ball this moon, am I correct?” Asks Felix, taking a sip of water from the flask he always carried around. He leans back against one of the many stone pillars of the training grounds.

Ash notices how his dark hair falls into his face, his bun messy from training. He was so gorgeous... She tilts her head to the side in confusion. “Yeah, why? Is the pretty Gautier boy trying to set me up again? Tell him I'm not interested. I mean, he’s a great friend and all, but I have eyes for someone els-”

“Be my date.” He says, interrupt her. He brushes a stray strand of his hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear. Ash notes how soft it looks.

Ash just blinks. “I-I’m sorry, what?” She must have misheard, she could've sworn she just heard Felix ask her out. Her heart was pounding in her throat. 

“You heard me. Be my date.” Says Felix again. 

Ash feels her cheeks get warm. Felix. The Felix Hugo “I’ll always be more comfortable holding a sword than a woman’s hand” Fraldarius had just asked her out. “Goddess, I would love to!” She wraps her arms around him in a tight hug. He finds himself quickly inhaling, his breath stuck in his throat as he freezes. He was tense.

But he didn’t hate her touch. He hadn’t really been touched since... He didn’t like talking about it.

“I never thought you’d ask. Never even thought you’d be interested in, well, social gatherings, or asking people out, for that matter.” She’s smiling so wide, and Felix can’t help but to stare. “I-I just... Don’t want any creeps making moves on you. Comforting you would be a bother, so I’d rather keep you where I know you’ll be safe. That’s all. No other reason!” He takes a deep breath and she giggles. Giggles. How dare she giggle and how dare she be so damn cute about it?!?! She was so small and her hair smelt so good. Her breath smelled like those peppermints she always carried around with her. He wanted to hear that giggle again and again, feel her in his arms forever, he wanted her to always smile. All for him. “Thanks so much, Felix. I've actually... wanted this for a while.” She only holds him tighter. He felt so good.

Lost within his fantasies, his knees buckle under him. He awkwardly places his hands on her back. She was so warm... What was he feeling?! He feels his heart flutter in his chest. Why is the world is my face so warm?! He wasn’t a huge believer, but he found himself praying to the Goddess that Ash couldn’t feel how fast his heart was beating. She looks up at him, blinking at him with those warm, brown eyes of her. He only feels warmer. He wouldn’t mind staring into them forever. “Are you... okay? You’re shaky.” She asks. Her face was a bit red too, her tan cheeks flushed with color.

Love, romance, they were all distractions. Felix knew that. His only goal was to become stronger. But she was so... cute?! Felix felt weak. 

“Shut up. I’m fine. Ugh. You put your arms around me and I felt my knees buckle... How pathetic. This is so stupid!” He yells, bringing his arm away from her back to rub at his temples.

Fuck, did I do something wrong? I knew I shouldn't have hugged him.. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” She says, immediately backing away from him, bringing her arms back to her side. “I-I’ll get going now!” 

“No!” He says, a bit too enthusiastic, “Don’t go!” She blinks, dumbfounded. “Felix, are you blushing?! What’s gotten into you?!” He covers his face with his hands, “I don’t know, shut up! I’m not blushing, I’m just...” He was at a loss for words, and Ash couldn’t help but shyly cover her face as well. He was so cute when he got shy. It rarely happened, but the way his face gets all red and how he stumbled over his words... So fucking cute. “Just what?!” She questions.

“I’m, um, I don’t know! This is all your fault, why are you so cute?!” One of Felix’s hands slaps over his mouth, but it was too late. “You think I’m... cute?” Ash blinks, her eyes wide.

“You're so slow! You make Sylvain look smart!” He grumbles. “Just, um, meet me at the ball, okay?! That’s all!”

Ash was shocked by just how red he was. Being that red was possible?! Her face felt as hot as the sun, “Oh fucking hell, you’re cute too, damnit!” She blurts.

Never in any of Felix’s 18 years of life has he ever has a crush, but that had officially changed. She called him cute?! What?! If Felix stayed in the training grounds for one more moment, he felt as if he was going to combust. “Felix, you’re worrying me. It's a bit concerning when you see your favorite person here look like the personification of a tomato. I think you're cute too, okay? That's all. If you wanna put this behind us, we can." Says Ash, pushing her red glasses up her nose. Felix notices how small her hands are. Gentle and soft. He wanted to hold them.

"No. I don't. I want to stay with you. You make me happy. But don't you dare tell anyone I said that, got it?" Felix sighs, glad to finally have that off his chest.

She nods. "I feel the same."

Okay, Felix. Deep breaths. I can do this.

"Then date me."

~~~~~~~

The next few days leading up to the ball were strange, yet comforting. Ash and Felix still sparred everyday, and the blush on Felix's cheeks only grew. Ash would spend all day thinking about him and how sweet he is.

Balls were a fairly new event for Ash. Yeah, she had attended several somewhat fancy parties, but this was a large scale ball at Garreg Mach. It was the only time where all of the students could get out of their uniforms and truly get a chance to get themselves all dolled up.

Ash had gone dress shopping with a close friend of hers, Sylvain. Sylvain has insisted on tagging along since Ash told him about what happened at the training grounds. Well, actually, it was more like her screaming about how happy she was instead of actually speaking, but that's besides the point.

"You guys aren't gonna coordinate your outfits or anything?" Sylvain asks, walking next to Ash in the shopping district of a nearby town.

Ash shrugs, "Nah, I think we're just gonna meet up and spend the night together."

Sylvain smirks. "As my father always says, no heirs before you're marri-"

Ash rolls her eyes. "Sylvain, shut up. We just started dating."

He chuckles, "Yeah, yeah. Still kind of shocked about that. It's rare seeing him not be... bitchy. He always goes on and on about how love is a waste of time. Now look at him!" Sylvain claps his hands together in excitement, "Anyways, I've heard good things about this shop. A couple girls have been talking about it on our dates and stuff. Let's see what we can find you!"

Although shopping was somewhat difficult, mostly because of Sylvain aggressively flirting with the shopkeeper, Ash certainly wasn't complaining about the discount that they got on her dress. It was long and it reached her toes, emerald in color. Her favorite color. Part of her debated wearing a suit, but she was starstruck when she saw the dress. She gently ran her hand over the expensive fabric. Damn... The jewels sewn into the skirt were simply dazzling. all the work seemed to be hand-stitched. She fell in love at first sight. Luckily, Sylvain seemed to agree and ushered her to the changing rooms, insisting that she try it on. His jaw dropped to the floor when he saw her in the dress. She looked stunning. 

“Do I, uh, look alright?” She asks, doing a small twirl. Sylvain just blinks. “You look more than alright. If Felix doesn’t love it, then clearly his eyes don’t work.”

She smiles at the compliment, but then gasps. "Holy shit, Sylvain! This thing has pockets!" That was all she needed to know that this dress was the one. She bought the dress. It left her pockets feeling significantly lighter than they were before she arrived at the shop, but it was so worth it. She felt ecstatic.

~~~~~~

Felix groaned in anger, tugging at his hair in front of his mirror. Why isn’t it sitting right?! He couldn’t count the amount of times he’d tied his hair up in his usual bun, but it never looked right. Normally he kept his bun a bit messy. After all, why would his outwards appearance matter? Was his face going to fight battles for him? But Ash had complimented his hair so much, maybe he’d ought to make it look nice just this one time. He’d hate to disappoint her. He already knew that she was going to look stunning, she always does. He ties it up once again. That’s not even centered! 

“Ugh!” Felix yanks the hair tie out of his hair, and hears a snap. He looks down at the broken tie and sighs, tossing it into the trash can under his desk. He grabbed one of the spares he always kept there just in case (after all, training was so annoying with his hair in the way) and takes a deep breath. He bites the hair tie between his teeth, his slender fingers twisting his hair into a bun. He holds it in place with one hand and grabs the tie with the other, securing it in place. Then he needed some pins and some hair oil... 

And just to make things clear, Felix only had so many hair products for, um, training reasons. Nothing else. 

He takes a deep breath, backing away from his mirror. He looks down at his suit and gently brushes it off, looking at himself in the mirror. Hm. Not bad. Now he had to wait for Ash to arrive at their meeting spot, the courtyard just outside of the reception hall. Part of him was thankful for his dark blue suit. It was easy to move in, and far more comfortable than some of the other outfits he had worn over the years to special events, reserved for only the most esteemed nobles. He adjusts his sleeves. Why was his heart beating so fast? Why was he so nervous?! He tried his hardest to stay undetected on his journey to their meeting spot. If anyone, especially one of his classmates, were to see him this fancied up, he was well aware of how much they’d tease him. He wasn’t a big fan of loud noises, and the crowds upon crowds of students only irritated him.

Felix takes a deep breath, the air chilly against his face and hands. “She better hurry. I don’t have all the time in the world.” 

~~~~~~

Ash was stressing out. Getting the dress on was a hassle in it of itself. “Why is the hell is the skirt so damn puffy?!” She yells, trying to find out which hole was for her arms and which for her head. She lets out a sigh on relief. Okay, we got this. She looks at her own reflection. “Damn... I look decent.” A small smile made its way to her face, but it immediately slipped away. 

Did her makeup look okay? Does it need more green? Or am I overdoing it? More glitter? Eh... She reaches for her brushes again. Maybe a bit more dark green would help..? Shadows are good. “You gotta add dimension, sis... Gotta blend...” She mutters to herself under her breath. A small little touch up on her blush... A bit of pink to the lips... “Okay! I think we can put this away now...” She packs up her makeup palettes, putting them back into her drawers. Time for the most stressful part. Ash loved jewelry, and accessorizing could bring a lot of life to an outfit if done well. She sorts through unless pairs of earrings. After much debate, she settles on some silver ones, emerald in them. She’s quite proud of how much her jewelry collection has expanded over the years. Her parents weren’t filthy rich, but they were some decently well-known merchants. Her mother would always buy her jewelry items for her birthdays. I should write a letter to mom and dad soon... 

Necklace time. The stress was eating away at her. Ash always was a bit on-edge, but making decisions...? Not the best couple, to put it simply. “The silver one would match my earrings, so... But the bronze one has a little moon on it...”

She looks back into the mirror. Silver necklace it was. Ash looks down at her hands. Too bare. She picked out her favorite ring, one that she bought herself quite recently. It’s silver, so it should look alright... She tilts her head to the side. “Would two rings be overkill..?” She puts the rings aside. Okay, now we need bracelets... 

She was shocked by the sound of footsteps in front of her first-floor dorm with lots of chatter to accompany them. The other students were already heading to the ball?! “Oh fucking hell!” She grabs a random one from her box and kicks on some casual boots. Not appropriate for her dress, but the dress was long enough. And she valued comfort. She slides on the bracelet. String. Dark blue and thin, a small charm of a star on it. She rushes out of her room and begins to make her way to the courtyard. 

~~~~~~

Felix is looking up at the sky. It's somewhat chilly, but being from northern Faerghus, he didn't mind it. After all, he hadn't been standing here for long. Knowing Ash, she probably got her head stuck in some random book again. Cute.

He hears footsteps. A small smirk makes its way onto his face. "Felix! Hey!" It was her. Her voice always got so high pitched when she was excited, Felix loved the sound of it. He continued to stare up at the sky. "Hello, how are yo-" He looks down at her. From the huge gown, the bright makeup to the rings on her fingers, she looked... breathtaking. "Wow." He blinks. "You don't look bad at all." He says.

Ash smiles. That's the best you can get from a guy like Felix. She looks him and up down. His suit, dark blue, just the slightest bit tight, hugging his body. She looks at his hair, and how it looked like it took so time consuming. "You look so good, Felix."

Felix smiles softly, "Thanks." He holds out his hand, which she takes gratefully. He holds her hand tight, gently bringing it up to his lips. She feels her face go warm. "A-Anyways. Let's go inside. Don't want you catching a cold, that dress looks thin. I hope you're prepared to dance." Says Felix, walking towards the door to the reception hall.

"You see, Felix..." Starts Ash, stopping her moments completely. He looks back at her. "I, uh, don't know how to dance." She admits. "Tch, how pathetic. I guess I'll teach you then." Felix rolls his eyes, opening the door for her. "Wow, how gentlemanly~!" Teases Ash, walking through the door.

"Ballroom dancing isn't too difficult, you should be fine." Felix explains, leading her to the dancefloor. They receive a few odd looks, but one stare back from Felix made them stop. "Got it. How do you know so much about this, anyway? Never took you for the dancer type." Shrugs Ash, brushing down her skirt.

"Trust me, I'm not. Had to take classes as a kid. Had that shit buried into my brain, I don't think I'll soon forget. My brother also really enjoyed- Nevermind. I said nothing. No use talking about someone who's long dead. Maybe if they took swordplay more seriously than dancing of all things, they wouldn't be a bunch of damn fools. But oh well, basic knowledge of ballroom dancing is a bit of a requirement for nobles. It's stupid, I know." Ash nods, but she felt a pang in her heart upon seeing the pure sadness on Felix's face as he brought up his brother.. "I mean, if you can't beat 'em in a fight, maybe you can knock them out with your, uh, rocking moves?"

"Ugh, you are the worst." Groans Felix, but Ash didn't miss the smile on his face. "Anyways," He sighs, "Give me your other hand. Follow my lead."

"Okay, I can do that"

"And don't you dare step on my toes, are we clear?"

"Eh, no promises."

"Idiot."

Ash smirks. "Your idiot."

~~~~~~

"Ugh!" Ash plops down onto a chair away from the bustling dance floor, "I am fucking exhausted. Dancing has no right being that hard."

Felix sits down right next to her on a nearby chair, "Having your toes constantly stepped on is quite hard too, I'll have you know."

She reaches over and grabs his hand, rubbing small circles into it with her thumb. "Hey, I'm sorry! Maybe you shouldn't have put your feet where I was gonna put mine." She laughs. Felix stares at her. That was his favorite sound.

"Hmph. If you keep being that inattentive in the battlefield, youre going to get yourself killed." He sighs, "Don't you dare die on me."

She smiles, "I won't. I mean, how can I when I have someone so strong watching my back?"

Felix feels his face heat up. "You're not horrible, though. You're good at keeping a steady rhythm. Perhaps professor should've chose you to represent the Blue Lions at the White Heron Cup." He adds.

"Oh, thanks. It was pretty fun, dancing with you. We should dance again sometime, yeah?" She looks up at him, her dark brown eyes shining in the lights. “And I personally think that you would be so much better for the White Heron Cup. I mean, you’re not a horrible mage and your skills with a sword are unrivaled. And hey, if I were to see you in the dancer outfit, I’d be motivated for sure, if ya know what I mean.” She smirks and gives him a small wink. Felix can't help but stare. Why is she so beautiful?! And why the hell am I suddenly so flustered?! This is pathetic...

“You are such a fool.” He rolls his eyes. 

“Oh yeah? And you’re blushing.” She points out,

“It’s just... really hot here! Maybe we should get out of here? You once mentioned that you liked walking around during nightfall, so... I thought it’d be nice. And it’s also very loud here. Need some respite.” Suggests Felix. 

Ash gasps, “You remember that?! You’re the sweetest. I’d love to.” She wraps her arms around his body, pulling him close. 

“Goddess, you are so touchy....... Don’t you dare stop.”

“I won’t. I love being close to you. You make me feel so safe.” Ash holds his hand and plays with his fingers. She was surprised by how soft they were, considering how much he fights and trains. They seemed to interlock perfectly with her own. 

Felix was still getting used to being held and touched. He hasn’t been big on physical contact since he was a child, and nowadays, it usually just made him feel uncomfortable. But he didn’t mind Ash’s touch. It was soft and loving. It made him happy. 

“Follow me. I found a place I think you’ll like.” Felix says, cautiously walking towards the exit. Surely it wouldn’t be too difficult to sneak out. All of the staff were much too busy to notice the absence of two students. 

~~~~~~

“A tower? This is what you wanted to show me? It’s really pretty.” Ash questions. 

Felix nods. “This is the Goddess Tower. There’s a nice view from the top.” Felix begins to rush up the steps, and Ash tries her best to follow. But with her dress getting in the way and the sheer amount of steps to climb, she found herself tripping. “Slow down, damnit!” She yells. 

“You are so slow!” Felix sighs and climbs down a few steps to where she was. He picks her up, one hand under her knees and the other supporting her head. “Oh my-” She started screaming as he began to run about the stairs again. “Shh, shut up!” He whispers. “I don’t think you’re realizing that we’re not supposed to be caught here.”

“Okay, okay.” Ash wraps her arms around him, resting her hands on the silky fabric of his suit jacket. “Just don’t drop me, got it? You may be one of my favorite people, but that in no way, shape, or form will stop me from sticking a fucking Thoron up your ass!"

Felix snorts. And starts laughing. Actually laughing. Not one of his usual cocky chuckles, but a full on laugh. 

Ash had never heard him laugh before, but it was now her favorite sound in the world. Music to her ears. 

“Your laugh is really cute.”

Felix went red.

~~~~~~

“Here.” Says Felix, lowering Ash back onto her feet. She smiles, “Thank you so much, you didn’t have to.” He was panting softly, “It was nothing. Welcome to the Goddess Tower.”

She looks around the dark tower, moss and vines on the walls, “Woah, it’s so nice here. It’s a great view. The monastery and the town, the stars... Thanks for bringing me here.” She looks up at the stars. The softness of her eyes made Felix feel warm. 

“Have you heard the legend of the Goddess Tower?” Felix asks, “That if you make a pledge, it will be fulfilled? Childish, I know. But if it were true...” 

She smiles, “That’s actually kinda cool. Let’s make a pledge to the Goddess, then.”

“I pledge to...” Felix stops, lost in thought. “Become the strongest warrior in all of Fódlan.” 

Ash nods, “I admire that. You’re very passionate about your pursuit of strength, I’ve always loved that about you. You know what you want and you’ll do a lot to get it. And if you don’t mind me asking, why is it that you want to become so strong?”

“I...” He awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, “I’ve never really thought about that. The weak die, the strong live on. Grow strong so you may live, and live to grow stronger. I don’t want to be weak. I don’t want to... die. I don’t want to lose. I can’t lose. I’ve already lost so much. Mother....” He hesitates. “Brother. And now I just have one more thing that I can’t lose.” He whispers. 

Ash pulls him in for a small hug, “Thanks for opening up to me, I know that talking about your feeling sucks, I get it. Are you okay with sharing what that new thing is?”

“You. Obviously.�� 

Ash’s eyes go wide, “Oh. I don’t want to lose you either.”

“Anyways, what’s your pledge?” Asks Felix, “I can’t be the only one making one.”

“I pledge to...” Ash blinks, shivering from the cold of the night. “I’m not sure. I don’t really know what I want in my life. I want to... be happy, I guess. I want my name to go down in history. I don’t want to be forgotten. That’s one of my biggest fears, actually. I want people to remember me, I want to lead a life that makes me happy. Not what my parents want, not what my sister wants, what I want. I won’t be forgotten. I will be happy. I’ll live a life that makes me proud to be me. I pledge that to the Goddess.” She sighs, her breath foggy in the air. She feels a gentle warmth drape over her shoulders. Felix adjusts his suit jacket so that it covers her. “Is that better? I’d hate for my favorite sparring partner to catch a cold.”

The jacket was so warm. A bit too big for her, but it felt so nice. And it smelled just like Felix, too. She felt loved. “A lot better. But what about you? Aren’t you going to get cold?” She asks, taking off the jacket and giving it back to him. He refuses, pushing the fabric back into her arms. “You need it more than I do. I’m good with the cold, I grew up training during snow storms.” 

“Welp, thanks then.” She looks up at him, and he was looking right back down at her. It was dark, but she felt safe. 

“An interesting pledge... I won’t let you be forgotten. We’ll be happy, I know it. It’s difficult, I know, but I have you now. And you have me.” Felix cups her face in his hands, leaning in slightly. 

“Thank you.” I’m not rushing this, am I? “Felix, I... I love you.”

His amber eyes go wide, dark in the lighting of the night. O-Oh.. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have sai-” Ash starts, backing away. 

He pulls her close and kisses her. 

Ash freezes in his arms for a moment before kissing back. No way. No way in hell... The kiss was awkward and messy, but it felt so right. 

Felix pulls away after what felt like an eternity of pure bliss. Her lips tasted like peppermint, and they were so soft against his own. He was glad that she couldn’t see the blush on his face. “I love you too, moron.”

“Oh. Wow. Oh my. I can’t believe this is happening, holy shit.” Ash says, laughing. “That was my first time kissing someone...”

“Oh? You spend all your time with that flirting dimwit, so that’s quite shocking. It was... my first time kissing someone too.” Felix admits. 

“Looks like it’s a lot different than the romance novels describe it, huh?” Ash smiles, getting on the tips of her toes to reach his lips. She kisses him again. 

Felix can’t stop smiling. This was the best night ever. 

“It’s getting late and cold. Everyone else is heading back, too. I’ll walk you back to your room, alright?”

Ash nods and Felix takes her hand in his own, his heart still pounding fast in his chest. It took a while to get back to Ash’s room, considering how high up they were, but the silence was a comfortable one.

“And we’re here!” Says Ash when they arrive in front of her room. The smile on her face hasn’t faded in the slightest, and seeing her happy made Felix feel like he was flying. “Thank you so much for tonight, Lixie.” She giggles. 

“Lixie, huh? That’s a new one. You usually just stick with Lix.” 

“Nah, Lixie’s cuter. Cute nickname for a cute guy, am I right?”

“Ugh.” Felix smiles, “Just go to bed, you halfwit.”

“One more thing!” Ash pulls him down for a quick kiss. Felix smiles, he smiles bigger than he has in a long time. “Tonight was nice. Sleep well, okay?” He ruffles her hair and starts walking away.

“Wait!” She yells. Felix turns around. She slides the jacket off her shoulders and holds it out for him to grab. He shakes his head no, “Keep it. It looks better on you.” And with that, he walks back to his own dorm. 

He couldn’t sleep that night. He kept replaying the memory of her kissing him again and again in his head. “I am so pathetic... Acting like some stupid pup over some silly girl...” He smiles. “I love her.”

Little did he know, she couldn’t sleep either. The moment Felix left, Ash squealed into her pillow. His soft hair, his sharp eyes, stupid smirk, soothing voice... He was so perfect. 

~~~~~~