#this year I basically used spotify for one specific classical music playlist and the new cast recording of merrily we roll along

[goatsandgangsters]

behold, my Spotify Wrapped 1912:

[binniesoob]

A Summary of Tomorrow X Together's storyline

While waiting for the new album, The Name Chapter: Temptation, to come out, I decided to write a summary of TXT's storyline, focusing on the main themes, motifs and references of the music videos to get a general picture of it!

Feel free to share your insights and/or theories, or to point it out if you see any inaccuracies!

Edit: I'm in the process of correcting a few things and properly add The Chaos Chapter and Minisode 2 to the picture!

— DISCLAIMER

Just a warning that I'm going to leave behind some additional details and references for this, because:

there are way too many and I still don't know all of them (yet) lol;

as I said, this is made to be a summary focusing on the main motifs;

I still need to fully catch up with the webnovel on Wattpad that has lots of more info;

I don't want to overwhelm you, especially if this is your first approach to the storyline!

— PLAYLISTS

I created playlists on both Youtube and Spotify with the songs in the order I'm going to talk about today:

YouTube playlist here

contains music videos in the storyline order to watch while reading!

Spotify playlist here

includes some b-sides, but in this summary I'm only going to focus on those with a music video and the title tracks, so feel free to skip if they are not mentioned!

In this post, I'm going to add only those specifically needed to be watched to follow and understand my analysis. All the others are in the YouTube playlist anyway :)

Okay, now we are ready to start!

— WHAT'S THEIR STORY ABOUT?

TXT's story is about growth: they talk about the transition from adolescence to adulthood and all those changes that characterise it, the fear and refusal to grow up, the desire to stay young forever.

They tackle the theme both explicitly, through music videos and lyrics set in our time, and through symbolism using a fantasy plot with magical elements.

Actually, we could say that their storyline is a story inside a story : the fairytale, in which they find refuge from the real world in a magical one, Magic Island, is the story of the board game (in the Dungeon's & Dragon's style) or the videogame they are playing in the real world to "escape reality". This is why both the fairytale concept and the game concept are crucial to understand the storyline!

— IS THERE A MULTIVERSE?

My answer is yes, there is. As we're going to see, there are various ways in which their story develops and can be developed.

Additionally, last year Hybe announced the release of a Webtoon and a Wattpad webnovel to further elaborate TXT's storyline, both called "The Star Seekers". These two differ from each other and from the storyline narrated through the music videos: they talk about their alter egos called Star One, idols in a version of the real world where magic also exists. However, as I said earlier, we won't go into the details of it and we will stick to the basic storyline related to the music!

— THE STORYLINE

Now let's see how their story unfolds through the albums Chapters, their songs and related music videos. We, of course, start our journey with...

THE DREAM CHAPTER: STAR

– NAP OF A STAR

🎶 Memories of childhood dancing in the sky / Even if it's fading away now 🎶

This song and its music video tell us about the origins and also the final goal of the group. When TXT were still children they met for the first time, played together and made a promise to each other and with a Star: "even if we were to part, we will find each other".

They actually separate and consequently the light of the Star goes out. Why is that? Well, how many points does a classic star have? ⭐ Five, right? And how many members does TXT have? Five! Each one of them is a part of the Star, and without them united there is no Star: the Star symbolizes their friendship. ✨ The power of friendship ✨ is the key to their whole story. This also explains why in choreos often TXT form stars by uniting their bodies.

from: 1) TDC:MAGIC concept trailer, 2) MMA 2019 performance intro, 3) MMA 2022 performance intro.

Years go by and TXT enter adolescence, symbolically represented by the development of physical peculiarities: Yeonjun has horns, Soobin long ears, Taehyun an eye with a star, Beomgyu thorns on his shoulders and Hueningkai wings.

Yeonjun, scared by the horns, runs away into the woods, thinking he has become a monster. Here, for the first time, he meets the blue and green eyed Cat that will haunt us for the rest of our days (😔), he gets wounded in the throat and runs away terrified. The Cat here symbolises all the scary and dangerous aspects of the world we come in contact with once we leave our childhood.

Refusing his new condition (and therefore change and growth), Yeonjun snaps one of his horns. He is then rescued by HueningKai and the rest of the group, and now that they're together again the Star turns on once again! This is what should happen at the end of aaaall the journey, but the road is long and rough...

– CROWN

🎶 Are you my savior who found me alone? / Who you, you? / Are your wings created from the same pain as mine? 🎶

The lyrics tells us what we saw in Nap of a Star: entering adolescence, symbolized by the sprouting of horns, not knowing who you are and wanting to run away. But TXT are not alone in their pain and confusion: when they meet, upon discovering that each of them has something peculiar and is facing the same struggles, they are reassured and no longer feel alone. And so, the horns form a "crown": they are no longer something monstrous to be ashamed of, but a symbol, almost of pride, of what one is facing.

🎶 This moment of my name being called 🎶

This is the first time TXT mentions “names”, a main motif of the storyline we are going to further elaborate.

The symbolism of the colors, mirrors, windows and props in the music video announce events of the storyline we're going to elaborate later as well.

– CAT & DOG

🎶 Oh my God, what the heck is this feeling? / I become a puppy when I see you 🎶

Believe it or not, even this one has relevance to the storyline! 😆

TXT's are dealing with their first crush, they want to be with them always, they are clingy like a puppy looking for affection. It ties to 0x1=Lovesong, Lo$er=Lo♡er and Good Boy Gone Bad, but also to Puma! As we will see, the "dog" represents their "good side", while the "puma" their "bad side".

obligatory FEEL LIKE CINDERELLA NAEGABYONJE LET'S PLAY FOREVER I JUST WANNA BE YO' DOG WOOF WOOF WOOF

Now let's move on to...

THE DREAM CHAPTER: MAGIC

– ANGEL OR DEVIL

🎶 Tell me, what should I choose / Either angel and devil / This struggle in my head 🎶

As it can be read in Cat&Dog lyrics, that are also referenced in this song in the third verse during Yeonjun’s rap, TXT usually act naughty (devil), but with their crush they behave like angels. In this song they talk about struggling with convincing themselves to confess to them.

🎶 "It's gotta be you", "You're the one love" (...) / Again the angel says, "firstly slow down / What if you lose all, forever?" 🎶

TXT's good side (the angel) starts to doubt their friendship and to think that maybe their love for their crush actually is salvation.

🎶 Spinning round and round again, the worries of Moebius 🎶

Reference is also made to the Moebius strip. What is that? Common strips, seen as surfaces like any other, always have two faces. If we walk on one face, we cannot find ourselves on the other, right? In the Möbius strip, on the other hand, you can! This is because it is obtained by joining the two ends of a strip after having given it half a twist.

The Moebius strip has been used in relation to time travel theories, as a possible way to have a loop, specifically an infinite number of possible attempts to change the course of events.

Whether the Moebius time loop is a single universe, or that each "side" is a parallel universe, is something debatable.

So, what does this have to do with TXT? As we will see, someone in the group has the ability to have premonitions about the future and this leads him/the group to try to change the course of events, especially by rewinding time.

In terms of the game they are playing:

rewinding time = playing again;

parallel universe = different modes of action to try change the results.

This song connects to the fantasy storyline not only though lyrics, but also with the drawings in the music video:

the Cat

TXT are divided into two sides: Yeonjun and Taehyun have devilish attributes, Soobin and Beomgyu have angelic attributes. This could symbolise which side of them, good or bad, has more power over the other.

HueningKai, on the contrary, is standing in the middle of the group and has both horns and angel wings, that can be either angel wings, as we see in Nap of a Star (his good side), or demon wings, as we will see in Eternally (his bad side).

– MAGIC ISLAND

🎶 Remember our star song / We were stars in it / The melody that was shining with dreams / Don't forget, forever 🎶

When TXT met again as teenagers but they don't remember the promise (it’s a song, quick, act surprised!) they made as children, nor that they already met.

🎶 Our clumsy promises / A small island from which secrets began 🎶

In the music video we see that Soobin starts having strange dreams/nightmares about the five of them, but he can't seem to open up to the group about it. This is where they start keeping secrets from each other.

In the meantime, they have discovered a magical portal, in this case the train (that references Harry Potter), which leads to a magical world, where they can escape from reality: Magic Island (reminiscent of "Neverland" by Peter Pan), where they spend their time playing.

IMPORTANT DETAILS in the video:

(min 6:40) Soobin's cell phone shows 5:54 pm, one minute after 5:53 pm aka blue hour, the moment when the space that separates the real world from the magical one it's thinner and allows you to travel between them! So, when TXT travel between Magic Island and reality, there’s always going to be 5:53 and the sunset involved.

Soobin hears strange noises: if we connect his peculiar feature, long elf ears, with the dreams, it symbolizes his prophetic being!

Yeonjun hears it too though, and this time it can be noticed that it resembles the sound of a bell. Who often wears bells around their necks? Cats. Moreover, in the story of Peter Pan, the fairy who always accompanies him is called Tinkerbell and it is her magic dust that tempts children, because it can allow them to fly. We could then overlap the elements: Peter Pan = Cat, Tinkerbell = Temptations.

Why are only the two of them aware of this disturbance? We said that Soobin perceives it thanks to his prescient nature, Yeonjun because he is the most tempted of all and he is the one who will make a deal with the Cat.

Yeonjun injures his finger while lighting the bonfire and we need to keep that in mind for the next song!

TXT then have the great idea of making fireworks, in a forest, starting a fire: it can be seen as a metaphor for the destruction that their dark sides can bring, and for the troubles that adolescence leads us to make.

At this point the Cat finally shows up and, in the form of a train, runs over the group. The Cat is a shape-shifter 👀 and he's the one that brought TXT to Magic Island, like Peter Pan did with the Lost Boys.

Each of them is struck by excruciating pain in the parts of the body where their peculiar features are, and in the end, they lay on the ground, dead... in terms of (video)game they lost the current match.

At the end of the video we see a dragon, which symbolizes the biggest obstacle they will have to face. In the (video)game version it's basically the final boss.

Going back to the lyrics for a second…

🎶 A familiar and unfamiliar river (…) / Remember our star song (…) / Don't forget that night / You can't forget this place (…) / Remember us here? (…) / That cat with the different eyes (Mm-mm) / I'm tired of those eyes 🎶

TXT reset the game (or die at Magic Island and then come back to it again) trying to win against the Cat and everytime they do it they forget what happened last time they played: everytime they play as if it was tge first time. With the concept of R, AR, and VR of Minisode 1 this was further confirmed.

This also ties in with their ultimate goal, which is to remember their promise, the star’s song.

– RUN AWAY

🎶 The train is departing / Bibbidi bobbidi our magic island / When we go through this tunnel / When we open our eyes / Our dreams become reality 🎶

TXT want to escape from real life because it's too boring, painful and scary ...the amount of details in this video is scary... we'll only talk about the essential ones:

HueningKai draws two lines on the ground with chalks, one yellow and one blue, which intertwine and surround the school, with TXT inside of it. I won't tell you what that means yet because we'll come back to it later, but keep it in mind 👀

Soobin instead draws a door on the blackboard: a reference to the portals that lead them to Magic Island. We will soon find out why he is the one who draws it. When he puts on the 3D glasses, the door takes shape and opens, and a pentagram appears, a magical symbol consisting of a five-pointed star generally inscribed in a circle and used as a ritual tool.

Remember that Yeonjun injured his finger on Magic Island? His finger is injured at the beginning of Run Away! After TXT died at Magic Island, they went back to the real world, not remembering of having been there, as we explained earlier. If we talk in video game terms it makes more sense: their character lost the game and Yeojun’s got injuried so he has less HP (life points) than before. As for D&D, whenever a character dies or mess up or gets a low roll when rolling the dice, they can go back in time and start again, and this is exactly what they do in Run Away.

Besides, Yeonjun is the one that lights the bonfire in Magic Island, and in this video he is the one who sets things on fire. What does it symbolize? That he's the one who plays with fire, who takes risks and gets into trouble, even if his intentions are good.

Beomgyu puts a plaster on Yeonjun: he is the healer of the group in terms of powers. He’s also the one who brings the fire extinguisher to put out the burning book, but the flames do not go out: Beomgyu can't fix Yeonjun's or others troubles, no matter how hard he tries. The thorns on his shoulders therefore also represent him taking on the problems of others.

Taehyun instead reads a book titled "how to put out the fire": he is the rational one, the observer, the investigator, and we know that his characteristic is the eye.

At the end of the video, they go back to Magic Island during the sunset. This time the magical passage is a door at the bottom of the pool instead of the train.

Again, Yeonjun is the cause of another door (symbolizing coming of age) catching fire, while he leaves behind a teddy bear (symbolizing childhood) which Taehyun picks up.

The "rewinding time" motif returns in the lyrics:

🎶 When this night is nearly ending / Rewind the clock, rewind now / The forbidden games and this magic hour

As we said, TXT move to Magic Island during the sunset, but when night falls they are forced to return to the real world. And so, they roll back the clock (or restart the game) to return, something they shouldn't do ("forbidden games") since this way they are stuck in a loop of childhood, but they should grow up.

– RUN AWAY JAPANESE VER.

The video introduces us to the concept that the fantasy aspect of the story doesn't happen in real life: Magic Island is actually the location of the game they play after school to escape their reality. I still haven't deepened this one, so this is all i'm gonna say about it!

– THE DOOM'S NIGHT

This is where The Dooms Night animation comes in, summarizing their story in all its versions.

Details we are interested in:

connects to Webtoon/webnovel for the idols using magic;

there is an 18-sided dice which symbolizes the parallel universes, and it’s magical: it can open portals and show visions of the future to Soobin, the one who finds it;

Kai is approached by an evil shadow in a moment of "weakness": it's a temptation that is trying to bring out the bad side of him.

Yeonjun makes a deal with the Cat: what is it about? Relating to the Webtoon/Wattpad, having more power to protect and save his friends from enemies, but it comes at a price...

we see TXT playing as children, each of them has a role in the game:

Yeonjun = paladin/knight

Soobin = elf archer/ranger

Beomgyu = druid/mentalist

Taehyun = sorcerer/adventurer

HueningKai = mystic/bard

there's the dragon, and it turns out that the weapon to defeat him is "the song of a star" aka the promise they made as children.

Next we have...

THE DREAM CHAPTER: ETERNITY

– CAN'T YOU SEE ME

🎶 Can’t you see me? / Like on that magical day, say “Believe me” / (…) My friends don't understand me, no 🎶

Remember when with Run Away we talked about Soobin not being able to open up to the members about his dreams? Well, this makes him feel isolated, distance is created between the group as time goes by because everyone feels there are secrets between them. In the video we see exactly that.

Details we are interested in:

"who's a liar? " sings Soobin, and in the choreography he crosses his fingers behind his back: he is the liar, because he doesn't open up completely with the others and therefore omits knowledge that concerns them all.

the lyrics refer to the promise they made as children, e.g. "like on that magical day, say believe me"

Beomgyu with the red light = his dark side. Beomgyu is another member of the group who feels left out, we'll go into that later with another song. Also, him being a druid, which is related to nature, explains his duality: he can be the kindest and most caring person in the world (healing nature), but at the same time he can become violent (cruel nature): we see him smothering Taehyun with a blanket. Why him? The two often clash in the storyline, as we will again see, because they see things and act in opposite ways. It could also be because Taehyun discovered a secret of Beomgyu and the latter feels threatened.

Yeonjun whose hands are covered in tomato sauce, which stands for blood: Yeonjun tries to protect the group and, although his intentions are good, he gets into big trouble putting them all in danger. When fire appears in the video it is particular linked to Yeonjun (the oven, the house on fire), reconnecting to what we said earlier with Run Away. Yeonjun says "save me": he begs to save him from it all.

In the bridge Soobin sings "bad bad, hoping this is just a painful dream". In the concept trailer of this album there is Drama playing in the background, and the only line sung is "I dreamed this drama": Soobin's dreams are coming true, being premonitions.

In the final pose of the choreo, if you look closely, it seems that they are removing masks from their faces: each of them is wearing a mask because they are not sincere with the others, their dark side takes over.

– ETERNALLY

🎶 please stop this recurring nightmare everynight / tell me the meaning of this sad dream / my heart deep in this memory maze, save me 🎶

There is a LOT to say here. The video (which is 19 minutes, after all) is divided into sections and we're going to follow them.

1) Night of the Last day

First of all we see TXT with their monstrous features in a dark version, they are in a stadium destroyed by the dragon (as seen in The Doom's Night we talked about earlier). Soobin looks around and has a book in his hand, takes it to Yeonjun but sees him wounded and gets scared, waking up: this is one of Soobin's visions of the future, the Doom’s Day in which they will have to face their worst enemy.

This song is also connected to the Webtoon/Wattpad because we see TXT as idols in the video. Now, when the alarm goes off in the rehearsal room, not just Soobin, but everyone has visions. Important details:

the clock goes back from 10 to 9 with the second’s hand;

Soobin sees writing on the glass that says "Remember my name".

2) Song of a Star

Soobin finds himself in an amusement park and finds the magic dice on the ground. Then, a little boy arrives: it's HueningKai as a child, Soobin recognizes him by the way he wears his shoes. This upsets him, due to the fact that he doesn't remember the past and doesn't fully understand those dreams that are exhausting him.

A ghost girl comes to console him. As we said before, TXT think that their crush is salvation, that's why they identify the "girl" with the Star. But she's also a representation of MOAs who stand by TXT’s side and support them.

3) Promises

Yeonjun finds himself in the destroyed stadium and sees himself dead as well as the eyes of the Cat. He sees the consequences of his actions.

At the end of his section it reads: "I thought it was salvation, then": Yeonjun is going to think that the pact is the way to save himself and the others, when instead is going to bring them more harm.

3) Room n.17

Beomgyu is in the midst of infinite mirrors, a reference to the parallel universes, but also to the reflection of himself and therefore to its doppelganger, its dark side which we talked about earlier. The mirrors then turn into a door, number 17, and he peeks inside seeing a future version of himself trying to protect a book from an unidentified person who wants to get it. Suddenly the rage becomes such that thorns sprout on his back. The present Beomgyu takes out his phone to film, while the other Beomgyu appears to have attacked and knocked out the enemy, before turning right at the camera.

5) Moratorium* of Rest

(*a period of time during which a particular activity is stopped)

Taehyun ends in a flower meadow in the dark. In the distance he spots a familiar figure: it's Yeonjun. He calls him but he doesn't answer: realizing that there is something strange he approaches him. Yeonjun is unconscious, wounded in the throat and covered by brambles and flowers: it's a similar scene to the one we saw in The Doom's Night animation, only that here Yeonjun is dead, confirmed by the flowers that change into a skull.

At the end of his section it reads: "We will find a way" (to save Yeonjun and all of them too)

5) Girl of Eternity

HueningKai looks at the door Soobin disappeared from earlier, yelling his name. When he crosses the threshold, he finds himself in a corridor similar to the one Soobin went through: it is reminiscent of the effect that distorts surroundings into lines when traveling very fast, usually at the speed of light, through space-time. This makes me think that this is set in a more distant future.

Then stairs appear with a door at the top: once opened, he finds himself in the sky, and in front of him there's another door suspended in the air, from which the rest of the group comes out. Kai tries to walk in the void to reach them and his feet find a surface that undulates like water.

I still haven't fully understood the meaning of Kai's vision, also because it seems connected with the new chapter, The Name Chapter.

7) Beginning of the End

Finally, TXT are all back in the rehearsal room, the clock starts ticking forward again, and Soobin re-emerges through the door of the room. Everyone seems to not remember their visions (like it always happens with the memories when they leave Magic Island) and goes back to what they were doing before. Soobin, on the contrary, looks at the dice in his hand and at the mirror. Beomgyu films him. The song restarts during its dark verse: on the other side of the mirror is the dark side of TXT.

– PUMA

🎶 West side, east side / Didn't know where to, where to go / West side, east side / It doesn't matter anymore 🎶

It is about a real event: a puma was shot dead by the police after escaping from its enclosure at Daejeon Zoo in September 2018. In addition to taking part in the protest for the incident, "the perspective of the puma finally gaining freedom only to meeting its tragic ending depicts the harsh reality that the TXT members have experienced since they debuted in March 2019, where they were faced with heavy scrutiny from people online as Big Hit Entertainment's latest boy group after BTS." (c. Genius lyrics) This can be found in particular in Yeonjun's rap.

🎶 Still too young to stand alone / This world is a jungle full of warriors / The sight is aiming at your throat / A thousand eyes are accessing the internet / Be careful, your enemies spread in an instant / How long does it take to reach your dream? / Only gunshots spread with that question all the time / So that I can continue to breathe, again run up 🎶

For the storyline it is relevant because it is linked to what we said before with Angel or Devil: the crossroad at which TXT find themselves, having to decide whether to stay on the "good" path or move to the "bad" one. With Puma they seem to chose the second one: they are rebelling and escaping in search of freedom, however dangerous it may be. In fact, they end up making the deal with the Cat, that promises more power and freedom when he actually has them under its control.

– DRAMA JAPANESE VER.

Many theorize that it is set in a parallel universe, in any case it is linked to what is told and seen in CYSM. In the video Beomgyu joins the group but is usually not included in the activities and left behind. He abruptly realizes it when he falls off his bike and the others don't go to help him as he would like/dream.

I put Drama at the end and not before because it connects perfectly to the next song, where we see Beomgyu being the target of others' jokes and feeling left out...

MINISODE1: BLUE HOUR

– BLUE HOUR

🎶 In that sky / The orange-glowing magic / Before it comes to an end / Freeze this moment / I wanna stay here / In the gap between the two worlds / I wanna be trapped in magic / Clue to stop the sun 🎶

TXT are at Magic Island sitting in a tree that refers to that of the Lost Boys of Peter Pan. The song revolves around 5:53, when the sun sets in October in Korea, the blue hour in which, as we said, you can cross the border between the magical world and the real one. TXT would like to always stay at Magic Island, not by continuing rewinding the time (or replaying the game) but stopping it (stay inside the game forever), but they can't do that.

🎶 The glow of the sunset on my time machine / I know it that the end will come / The sun is down, down / Before you disappear into the night / I take you into my eyes 🎶

Once the night falls, Magic Island shuts down, and we know that means they have to go back to the real world. Beomgyu, who sings "I know that the end will come", seems to be the only one who is fully aware of it, an important detail for the future.

🎶 At the hour between dog and wolf 🎶

Is a very interesting line: this expression is taken from a French saying “L'heure entre chien et loup” and refers to the moments after sunset when the sky darkens and vision becomes unclear, making it difficult to distinguish between dogs and wolves, friends and foe (c. Genius lyrics annotations). We said that TXT are doubting their friendship after all.

But this also connects to the fight between their "good" and "bad" sides: we said that the docile and obedient "dog" is the "good side", while the wild and dangerous "puma", and in this case the "wolf", represents the "bad side".

In the beginning, Soobin sings:

🎶 I really hate the awkwardness, I just laugh / Baby, I know we were special 🎶

Refers to the tensions that now characterize the dynamics of the group. They look back with nostalgia to the days when this was not the case.

🎶 That look in your eyes, like an emptied gift box 🎶

This instead refers to the real name of one of the members 👀 we'll talk about it later.

At the end of the music video we see that autumn has come to Magic Island: the end of their youth is approaching and they can't help it.

– BLUE HOUR JAPANESE VER.

Very similar to the Korean one and I haven't delved into it yet, so let's move on for now.

– WE LOST THE SUMMER

🎶 Cause we lost the summer / When we lost each other / Return my seasons / Oh, it's all gone 🎶

It's not only a song perfectly depicting teenagers and young adults (but adults as well) feelings during the COVID19 Pandemic, it also references their storyline.

We saw that with Blue Hour autumn arrived, and We Lost The Summer brings winter... it's time to explain the seasons motif!

In literature and art, often the seasons have been used as a metaphor for the stages of life:

spring/summer = youth, adolescence

autumn/winter = growth, ageing, adulthood

So, Blue Hour announces that their time on Magic Island, and therefore as children, is coming to an end, and that they will have to face the transition to winter, to adulthood. They're losing the "summer" of their life, and that means losing their escape, Magic Island, as well, because it's not enough anymore for them to escape reality, as we will deepen with The Chaos Chapter and The Name Chapter.

The lyrics focus on the seasons motif for growing up and on the loss of Magic Island:

We also see s blue butterfly, related to Beomgyu but also Taehyun: in Native American cultures it symbolize the transition from summer to winter.

🎶 We lost the sunset, now don't know what to do / Our time has lost the weather / I'm standing still in winter / Eternal winter / I want to see you again, our bright summer / Long gone we lost the summer 🎶

The loss of Magic Island in real life context can be interpreted as TXT not being able to play the game because everywhere is closed due to lockdown, included the arcade where we saw them play in Run Away Japanese version!

Another detail: mirrors are also included, which, especially in the final scene where Yeonjun looks through it in the dark, refers to their dark sides. These are triggered by the loss of Magic Island, the place where they usually can escape together to avoid being crushed by reality, but now can't reach for two reasons: first, adulthood is approaching, second, the lockdown forces TXT to separate and only see eachother through a screen.

THE CHAOS CHAPTER: FREEZE

The title of this album references two things:

The arrival of winter and therefore their adulthood

The "fight, flight or freeze" instinctive response of our bodies and minds to danger and stressful situations. According to the title, TXT's response to their reality is going to be "freeze" aka the inability to move or act against it, but it's going to be "flight" as well, as we see in...

— 0X1=LOVESONG

TXT are now stuck in reality dealing with the problems that characterise the transition from adolescence to adulthood, but that doesn't mean they have abandoned the magical fantasies that give them comfort.

The main character of this music video is Yeonjun. We see him alone at home, playing videogames to distract himself while his parents are fighting. He then decides to escape by stealing his parents car keys and go for a ride. We see him with the members, but at the end of the music video it is actually revealed that he was alone the whole time: Yeonjun was imaging being with his friends, who turn reality into a fantasy when they escape together. This doesn't mean that the others are gone or dead, they're simply not together, missing eachother and going through the same kind of despair, depression, loneliness, as we can interpret from the clips where they're all separated but together with the others in the distance.

We also see Yeonjun alone in his room watching his fish inside the aquarium, and, later on, one ends up in his room: Yeonjun is imagining of being inside the aquarium. That's the same thing that happens with TXT seeing fish over them while in the pool, and with Kai seeing it on the sky: the aquarium represents the comforting fantasy they run away to. They can't go to Magic Island, so they imagine it.

Yeonjun gets so lost in his fantasy that, when Taehyun falls into the pool and then removes his cast, Yeonjun snaps out of it and doesn't see the fish anymore: he's now imaging his friends being there with him as he wishes. Fantasy and reality are mixing together.

He then starts dancing, and this is a reference to a movie called "Days of Being Wild", where music and dancing is used as a way of expressing the isolation, solitude, lack of direction and belonging, experienced by the characters. That's why Yeonjun walks into complete darkness: he's falling into the black hole of emptiness inside himself, the hole that is referenced in the quote in the beginning of the music video.

Unlike the video, which focuses on friendship bringing relief and happiness, the lyrics tells us about the crush we mentioned at the beginning:

🎶 In this world of zero / I know you're my one and only / In this endless darkness like / Oh my god, so holy / From the tip of my fingers / Everything runs far away / My life before you was a mess / Couldn't win one round of this chess 🎶

TXT believe that their salvation is given by the love they feel for this person. They are used to being "losers" in this life, but they feel like "winners" with them.

🎶 Now I can't stop thinking 'bout you / When I'm sinking alone / Angel who one day appeared to me / Take me away to your hometown / I know it's real, I can feel it 🎶

The pre-chorus references their friendship as well, though: in the music video we see that Yeonjun is "sinking alone" while thinking about his friends, and the "angel" is the same referenced in Crown and in Nap of A Star: it's TXT, and especially Hueningkai, that saved him when he was in his lowest point, sharing his burden. The "take me away to your hometown" could also be interpreted as asking the others to escape together at Magic Island, that feels like a home to them.

🎶 I'm full of problems, love sick / No way to go / I was fine to die / I'm a loser in this game / The only (one) rule of this world / Save me / Take my hand / Please use me like a drug (I know I love you) 🎶

The chorus is foreshadowing for The Name Chapter: Temptation, TXT are willing to be used and consumed by this love in order not to suffer anymore. "Save me" recalls Can't You see Me.

THE CHAOS CHAPTER: FIGHT OR ESCAPE

– LO$ER=LO♡ER

is a prequel-sequel of 0x1=Lovesong! Especially because in the music video we see how Taehyun got hurt and his "LOSER/LO♡ER" signature on the cast was made.

( work in progress )

Frost's music video then came out, anticipating and connecting to the new chapter of the story, The Name Chapter! It's part of The Chaos Chapter, but I think storyline-wise its music video comes after, because the events it contains depend on discoveries that are going to be made during The Name Chapter. Let's talk about Minisode 2 before talking about it then!

MINISODE2: THURSDAY'S CHILD

– GOOD BOY GONE BAD

– GOOD BOY GONE VAD JAPANESE VERSION

THE NAME CHAPTER

– CONCEPT TRAILER

First of all, it's important to specify that it doesn't only concern the album that will be released now, Temptation, but also the following ones that will be part of this chapter (two more mini-albums are expected, like for The Dream Chapter).

We've already mentioned Peter Pan a couple of times before: their story, with the fear of growing up, taking refuge in a magical world that you don't want to leave (Neverland), the temptations to stay there are all clear references to it.

This new chapter is heavily inspired by fairytales, not only Peter Pan, but others as well, such as Alice in Wonderland and Land of Oz.

Let's analyze what happens in the video, going over things we've already seen and adding more...

1) we are at sunset = blue hour = the moment in which one can pass between reality and the magical world;

2) eyes of two different colors = Cat, the creepy smile references Alice's cat. Cat by the window: who is at the window calling the Lost Boys? Peter Pan, who tempted them to go to Neverland, like the Cat tempted TXT to go to Magic Island.

3) blue/purple tunnel/portal: open passage to Magic Island, we saw it in The Dooms Night and we will see it again shortly;

4) we hear a whistle: it is the "call of the devil" (in the past, whistling was associated with the devil), the one who tempts TXT, therefore always the Cat;

5) we hear a reading of the original dark version of Peter Pan and see Yeonjun=Wendy manipulated and tempted by the Cat=Peter Pan;

6) Yeonjun/Wendy brings the rest of TXT (Wendy's siblings), and the Cat/Peter Pan "teaches" them to fly: instead of Tinkerbell's pixie dust, he uses a red potion, connected to the Webtoon/Webnovel. TXT now fly to Magic Island/Neverland;

7) while the narrator says that "Forever will never end (at Neverland/Magic Island)", Beomgyu looks at us and he's the only one who does it, like in Blue Hour: he's the only one of the group aware that sooner or later they will have to leave the magical world.

8) Remember we talked about mirrors and bad alter egos? We see TXT with their doppelgangers, which have the black feathers and masks we had symbolically seen in CYSM, on opposite sides of the mirrors (=the hangers).

Let's analyze the choreography:

The good/white TXTs move and the bad/black TXTs copy them, but then the blacks grab them by the arm and take their place. The good/white TXTs then enter the same side as the bad/black TXTs and HueningKai guides them to put the mirrors one after the other in line: what we saw with Beomgyu in Eternally. Now, if you think about it, even when you go to a place (it is frequent in elevators) where two mirrors are positioned opposite to each other, they create a potentially infinite corridor whose end you cannot see. Remember the chalk lines Kai drew around the school in Run Away? HueningKai locks himself and TXT inside a labyrinth.

Here they fight, first their own dark sides and they win: this should mean that their dark sides are now totally part of them, and therefore TXT can switch from one side of the mirror to the other freely, without being tempted or deceived by anyone: they are the ones who choose it. TXT have embraced their inner Peter Pan, rather than totally rejecting it.

But then, they fight among themselves and the order in which they do it is important:

Yeonjun and Kai, being the most tempted, unite;

Kai fights himself, his fully good side specifically;

After that, Kai collides with Soobin and prevails, (temptations prevail over knowledge);

Followed by Beomgyu, who instead manages to prevail over Kai (awareness of having to leave Neverland prevails over the desire to stay);

Kai is replaced by Taehyun, the one who saw the darkest premonition. The two fight until Beomgyu prevails (the awareness prevails over the fear of leaving), or, perhaps, Taehyun surrenders;

Finally, Beomgyu passes to the other side of the mirror to find only his reflection on the opposite side, which does not react to a possible attack: he hasn't to fight with himself because he always accepted the reality of things.

(I used colors to try making this less confusing, hope it helped 🥲)

Based on this fight, I already connected the names of the versions (Daydream, Nightmare, Farewell, Lullaby) of the album TNC: Temptation with each member, here. I recommend you to read it but only AFTER this summary, because we still need to talk about their "true names".

NOW, the fight scene it's a vision of the future that is not Soobin's, but Beomgyu's, who then opens his eyes.

TXT are now in a flying house, their refuge at Magic Island (which refers to the Lost Boys tree, but also to Dorothy's house from the Wizard of Oz). The house begins to collapse: Magic Island is no longer safe, they destroyed it too many times while rewinding time/replaying the game: they can't postpone growing up anymore.

It is also a metaphor for the tensions within the group, the things left unsaid, the secrets, the isolation, which have led to deep rifts in the friendship between the boys.

Soobin urges the group to leave and everyone follows. Last one is Kai who jumps… ready to enter the labyrinth.

– NEW LOGO VIDEO

Another important detail for what will happen in Temptation has been included in the new logo video! Translation of what Yeonjun says, both in reverse and played normally:

1) “You run after the shadow uselessly”: refers to the shadow that Peter Pan keeps losing. In the beginning of the concept trailer Yeonjun=Wendy is the only one without a shadow: he is losing it like Peter because of the temptations. Talking about it is his bad side, driven by temptations.

2) “It's sweet, but I should find my name": Yeonjun’s good side says that temptation is sweet, but he knows he has to resist and find a way to do it. Why does he talk about "finding the name"?

Having knowledge of one's true name gives you power over them, and knowing your own true name enhances your power and gives you more control over yourself, making it harder to fall into temptation.

Often, in order to get out of a labyrinth, to pass over an obstacle or solve a quest, you have to guess something, a secret word, usually by solving a riddle...

– FROST

🎶 Drawn by the name, I stand in chaos /My fate is what? What's the right answer, really / In an unfamiliar name / There's fate or something else / Meanings that I don't understand 🎶

(I can't add the full lyrics here lol, but I truly recommend you fully read them because they are very exhaustive!)

It's strongly related to the Webtoon/Wattpad storyline, and it's very important to The Name Chapter because it relates to the theme of "true names".

In the video, the spring nature of Magic Island (which we see in the photos of Temptation, Daydream version) freezes: winter arrives, and so their adulthood.

In the video we see TXT escaping from the portal while it's snowing, but then we go back to the past, when they go to Magic Island before it freezes...

Soobin finds a purple/blue glass sphere: it has the same colors as the portal, and what did we say creates/opens portals? The dice.

Taehyun's eye shines purple/blue: his special feature.

Kai finds a playground-style game (a reference to childhood) and sees blue butterflies.

Yeonjun finds a dog, and we'll come back to this shortly.

Beomgyu turns towards us spectators, again, and a gust of wind carries away the flowers. On Magic Island there are dry leaves on the ground, it's Autumn

Then, all together they find a fortune teller's tent, who gives them cards that make them have visions that symbolize their "true names". In the Webtoon/Wattpad novel they are given the riddles to interpret to find out what they are:

Soobin = "the one who is believed by no one"

Yeonjun = "the one who shall not eat dogs"

Beomgyu = "what was in the deepest part of the box"

Taehyun = "the one hanging upside down from an old tree with deep roots"

Hueningkai = "the one who builds the labyrinth"

In the visions of the video we see:

Yeonjun is in the desert surrounded by dog ​​footprints and has to fight against a huge sand snake to survive (the snake of Adam and Eve = the temptations = the Cat);

Taehyun hanging from the tree and then falling down;

Kai with mirrors. The mathematical formulas reference designing the construction of the labyrinth. He is tempted by his doppelganger, enters the mirror and chases it. In the end he, that has now both sides of himself united, breaks the mirror and exits.

Soobin is in a place on fire, sees a rideable horse for children and through the glass sphere/dice he sees a child riding it: the visions of their childhood being in danger.

Beomgyu and the looped box: after all the things that come out, what remains is only him... did you understood what it could be? 👀 (we'll explain it in a second)

TXT wake up and winter has arrived on Magic Island: they escape and with the portal they return to the real world. But Taehyun takes away one item from Magic Island: the fortune teller's BOOK. What Soobin has and Beomgyu protects in Eternally!

We find it again in the Webtoon and in the webnovel: it is a very ancient and powerful spell book that Taehyun studies and uses. It can also be seen in his hand in The Doom's Night when TXT play with each other as children.

— TXT's TRUE NAMES

Their real names, and therefore the solution of the riddles, were actually revealed in their early days, in their individual debut trailers via morse code: they have been under everyone's noses since the start...

Soobin = Tomorrow (based on a Greek myth: Cassandra had the power of foresight, so she had visions of the future, but she wasn't believed by anyone)

Hueningkai = Secret (refers to the Greek myth of the Minotaur, a "monster" that resembles TXT due to its peculiar characteristics, because it was a boy born with a bull's head. He was the son of King Minos, who had a labyrinth built to hide him, also hiding the secret of escape it)

Beomgyu = Hope (the box is that of Pandora, who after opening it unleashes all the evils in the world, and the thing that is at the bottom of it and will come out after everything else is hope. And we have seen that Beomgyu is the last one left after the fights to escape the labyrinth: he is the group last hope.)

Yeonjun = Promise (the riddle is a saying that stands for humans who behave like animals and are willing to use even cruel means to get what they want: what Yeonjun shouldn't do)

Taehyun = Clue (referring to Odin, the Nordic god who hung himself upside down on Yggdrasil, the sacred tree that held up the cosmos, to obtain the "clue", the runes, which would give him all the wisdom and ability to be able to develop writing)

– 0X1=LOVESONG Japanese ver

I think it sees TXT falling down to reality from Magic Island, after they abondoned it once and for all. While they are performing they all have blood in their uniforms: they're all rather dead or injuried at the end of the game. Beomgyu is the only one in an hospital: he's the only survivor, the only player with still some HPs left, after all, we saw that he won over the others in The Name Chapter Concept trailer. Taehyun, on the contrary, has angel wings and in the end he disappeared, leaving his uniform behind surrounded by feathers on the ground: he fully died during the game, perhaps sacrificing himself. A bit more about this, here.

Now they are back to the real world, forever.

And we have, for now, reached the end of our journey! Now we just have to wait and see what The Name Chapter will bring us in detail (and see if my headcanons and theories are right lol).

Thank you so much for reading!!

READ NEXT -> The Name Chapter: Temptation Analysis

Masterlist

[historianroo]

how to create when you don't feel human enough for it

Some days–most days–it's hard to want to create when so much of the world feels against it.

So, in opposition to that, here are my list of things that I do to feel a little more human and get into a creative mindset.

Disclaimer: Not all of these will work for you, and all of these won't work for everyone.

It's a process to feel a little more grounded each day, so try out a few and see how it goes.

The List:

Brush your teeth, or take a shower, or do some sort of self-care thing that can help to ground you. It doesn't need to be a big thing–it could be as simple as washing your hands.

Change your clothes! You don't have to put on anything fancy–but put on something new. Even if it's just a new pair of pajamas or sweatpants.

Take 10 deep breaths–in for four out for six.

Change your setting. Move from your bedroom to the sitting room or the kitchen, or if you have the energy, go to a coffee shop or sit outside.

Turn off your phone or, if you can't turn it off, put your phone on silent. Keep it face down on the desk next to you.

Change the music you are listening too. If you've been listening to rock, try Jazz or Blues (I like Hugh Laurie specifically). If you've been listening to sad music, try some classical music (Villain Classical Music Playlists on Spotify are so fun).

If you can–just play the music outloud from your device, if you can't then use headphones.

Take breaks. I recommend every 30-45 minutes, get up and walk away from your computer or your set up. If you're at a coffee shop, get up and get a glass of water, or run to the bathroom and wash your hands.

If you are having trouble with the flow of your writing, write out beats for it–as simple as "this character goes here and says this" then "this character replies with this."

If you struggle with dialogue–try scripting your entire chapter first, just write who says what and what they say, and then turn that into a chapter (this is the way I'm writing my novel and it works so well for me).

Call a friend, or your mom, or your sibling–have some sort of human interaction that is lokey and low effort.

Jiggle your knee while sitting there–bounce it up and down, side to side, just do some sort of movement, it helps with concentration and can help with grounding (I'm doing it right now as I write this).

Sing a song! Hum along to your music!

Go for a little walk outside (weather permitting)–I walk to class most days, or at least walk up the street to buy a cup of coffee if I'm just staying in my flat all day.

Buy yourself a fun drink! Or make a fun drink! I personally love making whipped coffee which was a big trend a few years ago, the recipe is super easy:

Recipe: You'll need: Instant Coffee, Sugar, some sort of way to mix it aggressively (I use a electric coffee mixer, but you can use a fork or a hand mixer), hot water, and your choice milk. The Process: 1. Put two tablepoons of instant coffee, two tablespoons of sugar, and two tablespoons of hot water (I recommend like, almost-boiling water) in the bottom of your bowl/cup (whichever is easier to mix with). 2. Mix aggressively!!! You want it to be a light creamy color, and very fluffy! Or, at minimum, you want it to not have lumps, if you can't get it fluffy. ----Basically–this is espresso by the time you finish mixing. 3. Put it into your drinking cup, and fill the rest of the glass with milk–you can do any: oat, almond, plain, whole, chocolate (i feel like this would be yummy), etc. Optional: add ice! 4. I always add a fun color straw to it, it makes it more fun to drink! 5. enjoy!

Drink a big glass of water in one go–well, don't choke on it, but like, try to drink the whole thing without putting down the cup. Some times I find that if I put the cup down I don't actually want to finish it, so it's best to do it all in one go.

Listen to a power ballad. Something that gets you fired up and excited. Here's a list of my personal favorites:

"Dear Icarus" by Anna Miriam Brown "Free Fallin" by Tom Petty "I Won't Say I'm In Love" from Hercules "The Rider" by Paris Paloma "Now We Are Free" from Gladiator "Adiemus" by Karl Jenkins (Personal fav, and this is the guy that looked like he was wearing a costume at the coronation (there are a bunch of tweets about it, if you're curious, google "Karl Jenkins coronation tweet)). "Fire" by Katerina Gimon

Eat something!! Even if it's just toast–I love a good peice of toast with butter on it, it's low effort and yummy. If you want to make it fancier, extchange the butter for cream cheese–it's like a low effort bagel.

Cry–genuinely this makes me feel very human on days when I feel less than.

Stretch! Pop your back, roll your head around, loosen up your hands. It acts as a great moment to just center yourself.

And when you're done for the day, cuddle up and watch a movie or tv show. Something low brain energy (i love watching old disney moves from the 60s-90s), and put your phone down and away. Go to bed early, or at least go to bed before midnight, sometimes a good night of sleep can really help.

Send your writing to me. This isn't a requirement haha, but I'd love to read it!

I hope that some of these are helpful! If you have any suggestions for me to add–dm me or send an ask in! If you ever need music recommendations, ask!

I hope you can get back to creating, you're doing great and everything that you make is amazing and wonderful. Writing is a proces, it's not a sprint to the finish.

I wish you the absolute best! You've got this.

[nerdyprocrastinator]

Music Playlists to Listen to While Studying

One big thing that most people who know me IRL know about me is that I constantly have a headphone in to listen to music. Because of what is basically my addiction to music, I have a few playlists that I enjoy listening to while studying, depending on my mood. In my experience, it is a lot easier to convince myself to study if I know I have the perfect playlist for my studying mood. This is because I know that I have specific playlists that I will only listen to while I am studying, doing work for school, or completing tasks that require me to actually pay attention to the task at hand. If I want to listen to the music on these playlists, I must do some type of studying or work, and vice versa. 

Here are some of the playlists that I have saved to listen to while working. Most of these playlists will be from Spotify and show their Spotify code and the creator of the playlist.

Moody Studying

This playlist is one of the playlists I created by myself. It has the entire discographies of artists like Alec Benjamin, ZZ Ward, and Alessia Cara. There are also a lot of songs from other artists, but they all have the same kind of cynical/quiet sound and tone. I mainly use this song when I want quieter music in the background and kind of just want to feel like I'm living in a dark academia aesthetic. This has been the playlist I have been listening to most often since I created it a couple months ago and also the one I update more often as I find more songs that match the general vibe of the playlist. 

Chaotic Studying

I also created this playlist, but it is about a year old and I don't really update the music on this one as much. I created this when I had a music appreciation class and decided that I wanted a playlist to listen to the more “classical” music that was being shown in the class. So there is a lot of music that you would probably listen to if you went to a school orchestra or band concert. However, it took a turn when the class started discussing soundtracks. This led to me putting some instrumental music from random shows and movies whose soundtracks I like. This caused me to then add songs that seemed like they could be in a movie soundtrack. I liked using this playlist because it gave me a variety of music that would interest me in the background while I worked. However, I understand that this may not be for everyone as most people want non-distracting music to listen to when they actually need to focus on a specific topic.

bisexual gifted kid burnout

This playlist by Emma on Spotify has a very similar vibe as the moody studying playlist. It has more mellow music, with a few faster songs (though those songs have dark undertones). I found this playlist a few years ago, and it is constantly updating with new music. There is a lot of music from people like Hozier, The Neighborhood, and Harry Styles. Currently, the playlist lasts close to 8 hours, so there’s plenty of music to listen to while studying, no matter if you just hit shuffle, play the entire playlist in order, or just pick and choose which songs you want to listen to. It is very soothing to listen to while working, especially if you want something that makes it very easy to actually focus on your work. 

Though I am not a big fan of Lofi music, that is always an option. One thing that I like about lofi is that you can always find a lofi live stream anywhere on YouTube or regular playlists on Spotify and other music streaming services. I can also appreciate the fact that you can find different lofi streams to match a specific aesthetic or mood you’re in.

There is a lot of music out there that can actually cause you to want to study and do work. It’s just important that you find the right playlist, live stream, or song to get you in the mood to be productive. 

Please comment down below and let me know what music you’re currently listening to or the music you use to get in the zone.

[littlejazzy]

Hi I am new to age regression but I have a lot of problems with actually letting myself get into the headspace. I don’t have anyone to look after me and I often just bully myself into slipping out of the headspace. Any tips/advice?

Hello there! I've been a regressor for about five years by now, and I haven't had a caregiver ever! So, here's me doing my best to help!

I don't know the exact way you're bullying yourself out of headspace, but I do know some basics.

You have to remember that there's nothing wrong with regression as a way to de-stress and relax. It's not dangerous or harmful to yourself or to others. In fact, it might make you feel safe or happy, which is always a good thing!

To quote a littlespacecadets post:

Going back to your childhood, either as it was or as a way to make up for a lack of one, is perfectly normal. People play games that they had when they were younger because it makes them happy. People watch old episodes of their favorite shows because they remember how much joy it brought them. People color in coloring sheets because it was a way to block out the rest of the world and focus on a single, simple task. People own and cherish stuffed animals and toys that they have never stopped loving. While they may not go back to the extent that you do, they are still, in a way, regressing. Everyone regresses; some people only vaguely, and others, like you and me, a lot more deeply. There’s nothing wrong with this, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

Everyone gets joy from things that they may have "grown out of" at some point or another. Try not to be so hard on yourself!

And if you're bullying yourself because you can't stay in headspace? It's important to always keep in mind that several regressors don't even fully regress all the time.

Like myself!

I don't put any pressure on myself to fully regress, so in the event that it does happen, it's just a pleasant surprise.

What I like to do is watch cartoons, both in headspace and out. So, when I want to regress, I put on a cartoon for my headspace - something like Blue's Clues, Little Bear, Sesame Street, or even Bluey! The important part of these shows is that I like them whether I'm little or big. That means even if I don't happen to regress, I still have a nice time!

Another thing I do is listen to children's music on Spotify! I have a playlist filled with nursery ryhmes, another filled with songs from tv shows and movies, and a couple that has songs that aren't technically specifically for kids but bring me good ~ Little Space Vibes ~. The first two are good for when I'm already in headspace and want to stay there, while the others are particularly good at easing myself closer to headspace.

I just like to listen to music when I color, draw, make regression outfits, and when I play with my toys :)

This littlespacecadets' post is about things that help when regressing alone, all of which I think should help.

Something not listed there, however, are reading stories about regressors and littles! There are tons on AO3, and I loooooove reading them. These are a godsend for me, because while I don't have a caregiver and am perfectly content with that, it is nice to read about getting taken care of, either with a reader-insert or just something that delves into the thoughts of the little character.

I keep tabs on the Non-Sexual Age Play tag, because if someone uses that, then chances are good that the content is non-sexual (not all the time, unfortunately, but it does help narrow things down). Just read the tags and check the rating before clicking on a fic, and you should be fine.

However, it's good to also check up on Age Regression/De-Aging. That tag was intended for fics where a character is physically regressed/de-aged, but over the years it's a mix of that and good ol' classic agere. Some of the physical de-aging stuff is pretty good at helping me feel little, but I guess it can vary person to person.

(fics tagged with both tend to be Safe For Littles, but again, check the tags to make sure!!)

To get the most out of navigating, I'd suggest going through the NSAP tag first, then going through the AR/DA tag with the NSAP tag marked as "excluded" - this will prevent all the fics you just went through from showing up and filling the pages. It'll mostly be physical de-aging stuff, but there are some agere fics hiding in there!

But yeah, fics are really good at helping me personally, so hopefully they'll help you! A bunch are about the littles coming to terms with being little, with can be cathartic in a nice way :)

That's all the tips and advice I've got! Remember to not stress about being in headspace, and just try to have a nice time regardless! That's when I tend to slip down, when I'm not making a big deal about it. Hopefully something here will work for you!

[xcziel]

get to know me

tagged by @vishcount (thank you!!) and i'll follow her format bc making two posts seems a little much - i'm not that interesting!!

(hilariously, this post shows up as blocked for me bc of the tag 'joker' which? tumblr?????)

Part I

name: i'm an internet old, so i never use my real name online, mainly because it's spelled in a very unique way (thanks mom & dad) - i mean like, if you googled it you could find my home address in a few seconds kind of unique - but also, though i do enjoy the spelling, i actually don't like it very much when it's said out loud? (is it weird that my name written down is 'me', but my name aloud has never felt like 'me'?) always wanted a nickname but never acquired one :/

at any rate, i've had the username xcziel forever and i go by that 😊 (pronounced ex-SEE-zee-el, similar to etc. or ex-SET-er-ah! thanks @xia-xueyi for pointing out that it can be confusing to guess!)

rest behind a cut because it got long!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i don't ... really *do* astrology? but technically saggitarius

height: 5'4" (162.5cm for the intl folks)

time: 5:43pm but these thing take me forever to type out so ... ???

birthday: playing the 'internet old' card again .. but it floats around american Thanksgiving depending on the year

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: lumping these together because i just .. don't really do music much anymore. if you had asked me this back in my 20s i'm sure i would have had all kinds of opinions and things to share, but these days i actually mostly prefer to listen music from when i was a kid. part of it is also that as an old, i prefer to buy my music, even digitally, and i don't really use spotify - which does so much to enable diverse music exploration i admit! but i mostly have earplugs in all the time and music does not work for me as background noise, so...

so i guess my answer would be 70s disco and classic rock and 80s new wave artists? i've never liked any artist's entire discography and prefer greatest hits-type compilations, but i guess duran duran and def leppard and depeche mode would be considered formative? i love new order but specifically late 80s new order, NOT joy division. the only concert t-shirt i've ever worn was the cult? i loved sonic temple but i can't listen to most of it anymore though i still adore love removal machine. i think maybe if you get old enough, for some of us there's TOO MUCH good music and we can't pare it down anymore

song stuck in your head: jamiroquai's canned heat

last movie you watched: re: the above, i re-watched center stage, the 2000 one with zoe saldana and the mandy moore soundtrack, bc it's a happy comfort movie and i just got a digital version

last show you binged: i can't really "binge" very often bc after a couple of hours i need a break, so i guess i'd say the tgcf donghua on netflix since it was short enough to get through all in one go

when you created your blog: in 2012 i stopped lurking so i could post about the avengers movie

the last thing you googled: 5'4" in cm? lol before that it was chinese wrapped street food

other blogs: everything is here! i discovered i compartmentalize about as well as i tag reliably (😓) but i do have several automated ao3feed-tag style sideblogs. and i did, very briefly, have a *winces* hockey sideblog too

why i chose my url: ooh i know i've done this before, sorry if it's repetitive, basically it was the username i picked back when my family first got aol: short, unique combo of letters - 14-year-old me really thought about it! and then it wouldn't let me use anything other than my name. thirty-some-odd years later, trying to come up with a livejournal username that wasn't already taken and getting fed up, i plugged it in and went: good enough!

how many people are you following: like 760-something last i checked? although many, many, many of them are deactivated

how many followers do you have: idk i don't like looking at that stuff, but way fewer than i am following

average hours of sleep: it varies too much day by day, my sleep schedule is too wonky, i have no idea what the average would be

lucky numbers: 7? cliché i know, and again not really buying into it, but somewhere in my hindbrain i like it that my first, middle, and last names all have seven letters

instruments: none. i like singing

what i'm currently wearing: giant black t-shirt and baggy black drawstring shorts, standard sitting around the house gear

dream job: don't have one. if i did it would give me something to be working towards *sigh* this is how you end up in retail for decades, kids! but also, to quote a random post i saw in true tumblr fashion "i simply do not dream of labor"

dream trip: covered this one before but: back to the uk and some railway daytrips, or a really fancy northern cruise, atlantic/pacific either one

fave food: uhhh, don't really have a favorite but i'm almost always in the mood for pizza

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: none really, if i had to still be me..maybe some kind of actually utopian future? but the pandemic has confirmed for me that i do NOT like living in interesting times, so most fictional story universes are RIGHT out. my favorites to read about like discworld or diana wynne jones' worlds would be way to chaotic for my comfort. possibly diane duane's young wizards universe would be safe enough to be okay?

Part II

last song: watching center stage made me think of my dance playlist so sunrise by simply red

last movielast stream: i don't watch streams or youtube often, so it was the same as you, vish! liu chang's birthday stream was SO enjoyable i screenrecorded the entire thing just so i could play it back (and maybe gif sometime if i ever get the drive to actually do it)

currently reading: well i just finished the translated quan qiu gao kao or global university entrance exam novel, which was sparked purely from catching a single rec post here on tumblr and basically just *falling* into this 166 chapter epic that is *amazing* and not coming up for air until i got to the end, which is typical novel-reading behavior for me (yes i was the kid who read through lunch period and got hassled by people who kept pestering me with "what're you reading" questions and yes i realize probably a lot of you on tumblr were too) plus, the new murderbot novel is out tomorrow!!!!! so that'll be where i end up next!

currently watching: the entire dmbj verse (that i can get my hands on) but ... sporadically and stopping at random different parts because the thing is ... this type of show is not really the kind i enjoy so much? so since it's more for "research" and learning character arcs (and let's be honest: shots of liu sang), etc. it's easy to get distracted by other stuff. i'm also watching the sleuth of the ming dynasty, mr queen, bromance, the expanse, re-watching farscape and stargate sg-1, just finished the falcon and the winter soldier, and then anytime something new and short gets introduced it jumps the queue. there are just. so. many. things. to. watch! (now i have to look into anti-fraud league too!? you all are cruel ...)

what is antipoetry to you: i ... don't really think much about poetry? i know what i prefer is usually the more basic rhymed kind like lewis carroll, emily dickinson, poe, coleridge, etc. so i suppose i don't have much use for classifying non-rhyming verse? i can appreciate stuff like rupi kaur which i guess would qualify? or that william carlos williams plums poem? but it doesn't really stick with me the way lyric-like verse does

currently craving: i never know what exactly this is meant to be in reference to ... hmmm, i would love a new high-concept, high production-quality movie like say, pacific rim, to be released, just for that massive, excited energy that comes with something new that hasn't already got tons of disappointing or conflicting history behind it - that would be so fun!!

other than that, right now, i mostly kinda want some fried fish? but that will have to wait until i go to get my second vaccine shot on wednesday since it's on the way there. i'd also like my internal body parts to settle down and fly right but it's been more than a month and they don't seem inclined :(((( maybe once i'm fully vaxxed i'll think about consulting somebody about it

tagging @foxofninetales @xia-xueyi @momosandlemonsoda @memorydragon @thewindsofsong @elvencantation @mylastbraincql @hesayshesgotboyfriend @aurawolfgirl2000 @smaragdine-galaxy and anyone who wants to! but never feel obligated and if you don't get around to it for like half a year that's totally fine, i am still interested!!!

[binniesthighs]

miss ro!!! ur jeongin fic was so cute that letter with all the misspellings made me cackle low-key - really can imagine 바보 빵 (fool bread(?) not sure how they render that nickname in english for him) writing it 😭 him and mc were so cute no lie

so like i swear dpr ian used to have a soundcloud that i would listen to but for some reason i can’t track down the stuff anymore ?? but equally maybe i’m getting confused bc i listen to a lot of k-artists on soundcloud (i remember the day i discovered got7 jb’s music on there and completely lost my shit lmao but that’s a diff story) i’m honestly such a sucker for soundcloud artists why am i like this 💀💀 but he literally dropped off the grid apart from his insta after his idol group disbanded and his spotify is basically empty apart from zombie pop (which is p cute it’s in the dpr archives album) and his new album. i honestly love all the tracks on it bc have been listening to the singles since they dropped but nerves and scaredy cat are my faves i think of the new ones?? i low-key suck at song recs lmao bc usually I just queue the entire album start to finish / listen to ppl’s curated spotify playlists for like kr&b/indie&chill etc while i’m doing work so i usually hear stuff i like but don’t know the titles ?? last year i was heavy obsessed with dpr live’s album tho “is anybody out there” and also ph-1’s 2019 album “halo” is still one of my faves. i can try and dig through and find specific songs i saved tho if u want!

also i’m watching the making of the album documentary now and it’s honestly spectacular (and only 13mins it needs to be longer 😭😭😭) - he goes into the back story of each song and talks about his life too and there’s clips of him filming the MVs and laying down the tracks. it’s low-key getting me v emotional especially when he was talking about dope lovers and how he had some p bad relationships bc he tends to push ppl away when he’s going thru stuff and he was recording the lyric “it was all for a kiss” and then he said “was it for a kiss or was it from a kiss because honestly, i think a lot of shit happens after the kiss” and ooft that hurttttt

british insults are honestly the best - i love them bc they’re like super snarky/get to the point but they’re not actually like properly derogatory names? like i rly get uncomfy when ppl properly swear at someone even if I like hate them with a burning passion lmaoooo

omg snow day??? we haven’t had snow for a while now :(( my friend lives in mass tho and she said it was snowing yesterday too i’m jel :(( i thrive in the night too lmao but man my insomnia’s been kicking my ass lately 🥲🥲 i deadass live my life like chan and i rly thought this would stop after uni but i guess it’s just my state of being 😭😭

i love reading ur replies they rly brighten my day 🥺🥺 i get a bit in my head sometimes lmao gotta love that anxiety/depression mix 🤪🤪 and rly worry i’m being annoying/ saying too much / blocking up ur feed for other readers also 🥲🥲 i hope other ppl aren’t getting annoyed by how long my asks are 🥺🥺 mayb one day i’ll reveal myself n we can just msg instead or sth idk 😭😭

n e ways i’m gonna dip now but i hope you have a good day/night/week too, miss ro!! my life is spiralling low-key so might be gone for a bit but in the meantime i hope things go well for u!! and do lemme know what u think of MITO !! (and honestly check out the making doc if u have time!!) -😖

😖 awe heck, my responses make your day? 🥺 that makes me so so happy!! i know how ya feel, I tend to have hot and cold weeks, and my writing is what tends to keep it at bay :) as well as talking to all you cuties! You don’t annoy me at all sweets!! however ya feel like talking is fine with me!! ;) also don’t ya worry about dipping either! life gets crazy and I totally get ya! <3 

more under the cut! 

also thank you so much about my new jeongin fic!! writing his lil letter was my favorite part actually hahahah i was trying to channel my inner awkward teen boy for that one LOLLL to suit his character being super sweet and loveable and a lil shy on the side I knew that he would make some cute lil mistakes hehe 

I’ll def listen to your recs!! I really need to listen to more kr&b tho! I have like two or three playlists that i listen to allll the time and am in dire need of new music haha the other week I discovered Kali Uchis’ new album and that’s been on repeat for me like crazyyyy recently FRICK its so good haha so that is my recommendation hehe 

That sounds like a really interesting documentary tho!! I actually really like music documentaries! hahah I watch them with my dad sometimes about classic rock artists etc. it super cool to me to hear about everything that goes into an album as well as the creative process behind it too! like when skz do their little interviews and stuff before an album releases I lovvve that haha for the same reason I love hearing about why authors write what they did too! gahhh i’m ramblin but the creative process is so cool to me! I’d love to check it out! 

whats funny abt swearing is that (oddly) even at nearly 21 years of age I am still not allowed to swear around my parents hahaha but when I’m not around them??? i will say anything and everything lolll but never at people like ya said haha i remeber a while ago I heard “bucket of fucks” and I thought that was pretty funny haha, also yay for snow days!! its funny bc I’m currently not in the state where I go to school so the weather was just fine here but there was like two feet of snow on the actual campus haha i heard that the students got together to have a snowball fight on our soccer fields (i just hope they were safe ooP) 

[dulcetminds]

some (concept) playlists

find my spotify here ✨ & my fandom character/ship playlists

this page is updated monthly!!!!

💫 monthly, yearly & get to know me playlists:

 monthly mixtape: updated daily and refreshed every month with no correlation to anything what so ever.

twentytwenty: a song for each day of the year

the soundtrack to my life

my favourites

pass the aux cord, fool: car vibes

🍾🌉 playlists based off cliché concepts:

coming of age indie romcom soundtrack: cigeratte burns on film, a first kiss that tastes like beer and chapstick, and laughter falling on train tracks

not another coming of age soundtrack: red party cups and the never-ending feeling of nostalgia

Mother Nature reclaims: a soft apocalypse mix

tragedy in the dark: set in the 90's, you're driving at night on the highway, passing under street signs and street lights that illuminate your lovers tired face as they trace circles on your thigh

rise up!: (a futuristic teenage rebellion playlist) you live in a world full of holograms and plastic food, the government is corrupt and somewhere out there is a bunch of rebels that are fighting back

an angels kiss in spring: it’s the roaring 40′s and you hit the town in bold red lipstick, curled hair, flared dresses & traditional swing

a wispy field of sunshine: there's something alluring about falling in love under the sun, sipping on raspberry lemonade & kissing someone who tastes like chapstick

the air is fresh out here: i am lost beneath the earth; dirt and moss fill my lungs and i cough up ivy and rose petals as the trees whisper my name so soft, it gets caught in the wing of a butterfly floating by

3am dancing with my lover: fairylights are hung low around the kitchen, my lover has tired eyes full of wonder and we trip over our own two feet, laughter pumping our hearts alive

the last dancers at midnight: my prom could have been better so we're gonna visualise it like a teen romance movie; tired feet, starry eyes & a tender kiss under the disco ball in your high-schools' hall

even my phone misses your call: 'hey, this is [redacted] please leave your message after the beep!' 

you’re so nice to come home to: finally moving into a small apartment with your lover; succulents adorn the windowsills and you both have a love for vintage polaroids and dream catchers — a dreamers dream

I've been in love with you forever: best friends that live next door to each other & know one another like the back of their hand, connected windows, rooftop talks, sleepovers, & everything that comes along with we're best friends & i don't want that to change but i am definitely in love with you

found you in this life: my mother once told me that some of the people we meet in this life, we knew in a past life and it’s up to us to decide where it goes from here

raspberry stains: spring flings includes squashing raspberries between finger & thumb, and dancing under the sun

rollerskating disco rink fever: we're twelve years young & there's a disco ball highlighting our hair as we dance the night away & i'm pretty sure we've happened to scuff the linoleum floor

endless summer afternoon: hopping from shadow to shadow, blisters on our feet; summer, summer, summer!

summer ate me alive: and I want nothing more than to sleep through the next three seasons

ragtag band of misfits from the year ‘87: group of four trying to solve the murder mystery of their late best friend / everyone’s hiding something / he might be in love with the boy he’s known since childhood

[our hands are brushing against each other as we walk]: i want to slow dance with you in the middle of the street

hey, new kid!: its highschool and life is full of rumours and giggling girls & boys with sharp teeth and then english class rolls around ━━ and did the principal just introduce a new student?

🧚🏻‍♀️ specific concept playlists (mostly based on moments and emotions that I've experienced & can’t get over):

head’s a buzz!: stoned out of my mind, I'm pretty sure I met the girl of my dreams last night

 I should be sleeping: but i am walking aimlessly under street lights trying to forget your face, your taste, your voice; with vodka stained cheeks and chipped nail polish

pity party for two: the sudden realisation that the future is scary and we're two lost souls stuck in love with people who helped us grow

we’re under the same stars: It’s talking under the stars till the sun breaks through the trees with him, who makes your stomach ache full of laughter and although the wind is cold against your skin and the sleeping bag is thin, he burns just as brightly as the stars in the night sky, and you want to exist between 3 and 4am forever.

I fell in love for one night: he kissed my shoulder & held me tight

moments left unsaid: I love every part of you when it’s loud, when it’s silent, when you don’t know it at all (basically falling in love with your friends in the moment over the smallest of things like the way they dip their head back to laugh or hide their smile behind their hand or when they slow down waiting for you to catch up or pull you aside to ask if you’re doing okay, etc)

angel in disguise: can angels fall in love?

skate park shenanigans: I spent a the hours 8-11pm at a skatepark with my friends and we don’t even skate but this is the specific energy those hours gave off

you’re dreaming beside me: & I’m dreaming of you

how to be soft, sad & content at 4pm

I wish we could live forever: knowing someone you love is gonna die is the one of the hardest things you’re ever gonna witness

remember when we were in love?: 2015: yellow. open roads. a boy. a girl. my house. high school musical. clouds. stars. a pillow. sunflowers. beauty and the beast. skype calls. a bear. / 2017: a girl. blue, blue, blue. / 2019: a girl. a boy. picnics. skateboards. burgers. your house. an empty promise.

the pretty reckless: my friends fall in love too easily

the ceiling is staring back at me: it’s 1am and I'm thinking about everything and anything

me against the world, vol. 1

me & my apathetic brain: basically Russian roulette with I’ll die anyway by girl in red & just a girl by no doubt

🏳️‍🌈🌈 lgbt+ playlists:

this is for the gays!: for pride month 2019, gay bops to rock your socks to

all I see is her: girls r great!

we should fall in love or something: just kidding... haha... unless?

I don’t wanna b ur friend, I wanna kiss ur neck: yeah, it’s based off I wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red & also my ex but we’re gonna take the former

please look at me the same!: my bisexual teen angst

🦋🏹 ‘old groovy, 70′s, 80′s, 90′s etc music’ playlists:

butterfly dust: old time music that goes together

groovy, groovy: 70′s, 80′s, 90′s

lovestrucklovestruck: nothing goes wrong when you live in your head

she’s gold dipped & cherry wine kisses

funky glow

🥁🍒 genre specific playlists:

metamorphic: rock n roll

devils advocate: it’s like white noise before you enter hell (mostly ghostemane)

you’re not indie till: you skate, own a pair of hot converses, have good fashion taste, drink ice coffee and and and

monsters live amongst us: hiding in plain sight, the people we call our friends / a horror pop playlist

hazy affection: anxiety reducing songs and study beats

softly, sweetly: relax your eyes & dream of simpler times

bubblegum pop: the radio is overrated but here we are

glazed eyes, cherry skies

darkness looms overhead

magic under fingernails / under veins

state of mind: kinda like rap but not, definitely an easy listen to while stoned

moon rockets: fly me to outer space where we’ll become another star in the night sky.

dream & folk pop

my dreams reach the stars: my mind is far away from here / starry-eyed and captivated

local neighbourhood party: songs I'd bang my head to at a party

heavenly hymns

fluorescent heartbeats

take me away, into the night

if you see me listening to this, look away: literally Disney musicals mainly Disney’s descendants & zombies

autumnal breeze: a mix of bedroom pop & 80′s tunes

blueberry feelings: is this soundlcoud or tiktok?

untamed glory: the songs dont vibe together as well as they should but i guess thats ironic given the name of this mixtape

all strung up: my favourite female pop songs & then there's sunflower, vol. 6 by harry styles

candyfloss kisses: baby pop

and that’s on tiktok luv: literally what it says

candle lit afternoons: candles + rain = a gentle quiet in it’s purest form

tenderness: soft, quiet, yielding; murmurs at dusk & the playing of hair

my bed is the warmest place: for rainy days & the chill in your nose

🚀🍁🍓 playlists to listen to when your doing this specific thing:

classic picnic bitch: (cute songs that give me picnic vibes) and we bond over a pack of UNO cards and strawberry-filled desserts

beach bums, baby!: a beach-y playlist

hotboxing ur friends car: get high w/ me!

🥺💫🌞🌻🤩🐝 playlists to grow & fall in love with yourself to:

falling in love w/ myself !!!!!: I'm still learning how I work

then I defy you, stars!

seventeen: I made this when I was seventeen and getting over my first heartbreak and realising that I should never wait for people who can only give half back

no negative vibes here!

💌💖 my romance / love centred playlists:

dancing in my room to the sound of you, you, you (middle school crush vibes)

love cluster: and i guess there are lot of love songs out there but there are also a lot of songs that aren't about love that got me feeling like i'm in love so which is it

lovelorn: (a unrequited love playlist) and we yearn for the hearts we cannot hold; lovelorn, lovelorn, lovelorn

our love has gone cold: I love & I loved

whimsical lovers falling out of love

baby boy blues: fell in love for a day with a boy whose smile is contagious and ever-lasting

you gave me panic attacks & I called it love: unsure if you’re in an unhealthy relationship? leave them.

regret in the simplest of forms: I could have loved you / I think a small part of me did

my favourite ‘what if’: soulmates who weren’t meant to be

seeking love among cruel hearts: perhaps we were friends first and lovers second. but then perhaps this is what lovers are.

it’s a long way down from your window: everyone’s favourite secret relationship trope

heartbreak hotel

i’m yearning for his heart while he gives me his body: I love you, don’t you love me too?

make out w/ me?: songs I'd kill to make out with someone too

miss you forever: sad pop love letter

I liked you better in my dreams: the idea of them has taken root in your mind and it’s much different to how they really are

little bit in love with u: alterous attraction? we KNOW her

drowsy cacophony of love

tracing you back to the roots of my house: I'm sifting through the memories of us, where did we go wrong?

love; a choice or a feeling?: and it is both I suppose, it is a feeling, it’s happiness and soft giggles, faint blush. and then it is a choice, a choice to stay with them or leave. it is a choice to not only love them, but yourself too.

tenderly, tragically: this used to be a collab playlist with someone who loved me fully and unconditionally, things have changed since, but this is whats left; it's our story compiled into a playlist

second chance at love: you make me hard, but she makes me weak

lonely in love: (it was supposed to be just casual sex but fuck, I think I'm in love with you)

silent lovers: skinny love (n.) a type of love where two people are in love with each other but are too shy to admit it

my first love: they say your first love never dies, and love, they’re right

my lover is a liar: victim to broken promises and false truths by a boy who died when he gave me his heart

love locket type of love: I loved you in secret !!

the charms of love: don’t fall in love with the moment & think your in love with the girl! (yes, she’s american by the 1975 lyrics)

almost lovers

💸💄💅🏻⛓ playlists that give off bad bitch energy:

rich girl$: my cash flow will never ever end

kiss the boys n make em die!: femme fatale, girl revolution, girl power

GIRLS. FOOD. GEAR: loosely inspired by people by the 1975

girl, interrupted

you’re like a rhinestone pick-up line: picture this — a girl with a hard attitude that you can’t just seem to get off your mind

back on my bullshit: just got my heartbroken; revamped!

👻👽 my halloween inspired playlists:

hallohalloween: basic halloween playlist

 the fae know my name: humans beware the manic pixies & lip curling fae for although they don't lie they are cunning creatures with kind eyes!

frothy vampire chick meets soft green witch: red fanged lover & a green house full of potions, spells & succulents

sirens lament: sharp teeth hidden under a pretty face

murder at the casino: (in breaking news: monster hunters just cant seem to catch a break!)

the howling

witchy renaissance

fuckin vampires, man!

🥀 if I were series (playlists that only feature one artist based off something specific):

if I were to dance in a faerie ring to hozier songs: maybe I want to fall in love with a faerie and be under Hozier’s rule

if I were to live my teenage years to Lorde songs

if I were to get high by the beach to skeggs songs: BIG greening out energy

 if I were to fall in love to tom rosenthal songs: tom rosenthal songs that make me feel like I'm in love!!

if I were to reminisce about heartbreak to LANY songs:

Hogwarts Houses:

🌻 Hufflepuff

🥊 Gryffindor

🐍 Slytherin

📘 Ravenclaw

[on-the-shelves]

on my shelf: soundtrack to my fourth year of uni - summer

I’m finally done with my Bachelor’s thesis! I might make a separate, more detailed post about it, since the topic is relevant for what this blog is about (of course it is haha), but for now I can say my topic was an analysis of the use of elements from the “Pop-Star-System” in building up a girlgroup career. I looked at the history of Pop-Stars and analysed the album covers of the Supremes’ first two albums, as well as the Spice Girls and Girls’ Generation’s first albums/physical releases. It was a lot of work, but I really enjoyed the topic. Oh and if anyone was wondering, I’m doing a Media Studies degree, which is why I could tackle such a cool topic.

Anyway! So working on my thesis took up my entire summer semester because I luckily didn’t have any classes left to attend, so I was thankfully spared the whole online class ordeal. The music I mentioned in my last post (”Quarantunes”) has mostly stayed on repeat in the past few months. Besides an ever steady stream of BTS, there are a couple of new things to add to the list:

Tomorrow X Together: The Dream Chapter: Eternity (2020)

Now THIS is the release I’ve been waiting for from them. Their previous album had one song that had a co-writing credit for one of the members (Hueningkai on “Rollercoaster”), but this album has more! We’re finally starting to hear their writing talents more. “Maze in the Mirror” was written/demo’ed entirely by one member (Beomgyu) and in the process of preparing it for this release the other members also wrote parts. It’s a beautiful, melancholic, and dynamic song that I can highly recommend for listening to before going to sleep. The lyrics talk about how unsure they felt before debuting. I can’t wait to hear more songs where they talk about their personal experiences, because clearly they’re good at it. In general this album is much darker than their previous two releases and they suit them well. The songs are more varied, too: You have the classic TXT style opening song, but the lead single “Can’t You See Me?” is full of angst, which is new for them. “PUMA” is like dark R&B, while “Fairy of Shampoo”, a reworked cover of a popular 1990s Korean song, is more city-pop. And then you have “Eternally” which reminded me of twenty one pilots’ “Ode to Sleep” in the way it completely changes up its style several times throughout the song. It’s all coherent and flows well from top to bottom though, and I think they’re well on their way to carving their own niche in the saturated and often same-same (k-) pop landscape.

Agust D: D-2 (2020)

He finally came back. SUGA of BTS last released a mixtape under his solo moniker Agust D in 2016. That one was very dark, brazen at times, and incredibly open and honest about his struggles, ending on a note of hoping that things will get better. This follow-up release makes it clear that Agust D has become a slightly different person in the past few years. He’s still brazen at times, but he has good reason to be, looking at how incredibly successful BTS has become since 2016. As always, he makes fun of those who decide to be haters but cleverly never gets too specific - if you feel attacked, that’s on you. There is a lot of introspection on this album too. It’s generally much less defeated or dark than on the 2016 self-titled release, but it’s still not all sunshine and rainbows. His problems have morphed -  he has now achieved his dreams, but it’s not quite what he expected it to be. There are a lot of thoughts about dreams, about what it means to grow up, about what his position in the world means and feels like. That sounds like it’s very focused on himself and might be inaccessible to us non-famous people, but that’s absolutely not the case. A lot of it are quite mundane questions that everyone asks themselves in their 20s, like “what am I doing with my life?” and “what kind of person am I really?”. He makes it clear that he doesn’t have the answers, but he somehow makes you feel comforted in that uncertainty. The musical style is more like current hip-hop, where Agust D was more like harder, older hip-hop, but retains his (especially recent) typical, very melodious style, with him even singing some choruses. There are various styles and interesting production choices that make for a varied, but cohesive listening experience. 

Hayley Williams: Petals for Armor (2020)

I mentioned this album in the “Quarantunes” post as well, but the full album was released after that went up, so it deserves another mention here. This album tells a story of an emotional journey towards healing, without ever getting preachy or feeling insincere. In several interviews Hayley mentions her therapy journey and learning to deal with her trauma and how this album helped with that. Listening to all the songs in order, a journey of self-discovery, -acceptance, and -empowerment is laid out. All these things are typically found in little things and learning to change your perspective. It’s Hayley’s most feminine work yet, in the sense that she’s embracing all of her different aspects: the delicate, the powerful, the rage, the love. Everything is wrapped in sounds inspired by Alternative music, but more, as said before, the Björks, Radioheads, and synth-y 80s artists, instead of loud guitar bands. My favourite songs are “Crystal Clear”, “Roses/Lotus/Violet/Iris”, “Over Yet”, “Cinnamon” and “Simmer”.

IU: Palette (2017)

When it was announced that IU and SUGA from BTS (two of the most popular artists in Korea) would release a collab song, I decided to check out her (IU’s) music more intensely, because I only knew one or two of her songs from the Dalkom Café playlist on Spotify. One of them is on this album, “Palette (ft. G-Dragon)”. This album, to me, best encapsulates IU’s sound: from heartbreaking ballads to satisfying light K-R&B, to slightly darker, groovy K-R&B (I think that’s the right genre term..), this one has them all. I’m not the biggest fan of ballads, but I enjoy IU’s voice so much that I don’t mind listening to them at all. I really love it, however, when she leaves that style behind for the slightly darker, or at least more pop sounds, like on “Palette”, but especially on “Jam Jam” and “Black Out”. She has a certain attitude on those songs that are slightly opposite of the pure, innocent image I previously had of her. It seems very sincere though, most likely because she writes on all of her songs. She has been utilising this style more often in recent years, on songs like “Bbibbi” and “Blueming” (both certified bops). “Eight”, the collab with SUGA, is an uplifting, yet bittersweet feeling pop anthem that almost feels like it could’ve been just a little bit longer. I’ll probably dive deeper into her lyrics soon and I’m excited for what I will find.

Sunmi: Warning (2018)

Last summer, Sunmi released the single “Lalalay” and I immediately loved it. I learned the choreography pretty much the week after I heard it the first time. Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to have much other music on her Spotify page though, just a couple of older singles (which I also immediately loved). This year she released “pporappippam” (which is basically the romanization of the Korean title which translates to Purple Night), a bittersweet, nostalgic, summer pop song, like only Sunmi can do. Seriously, no one else in K-Pop is releasing music like hers, and they probably don’t even dare to try. For those who don’t know, she used to be in one of the historically most popular girlgroups Wonder Girls. But besides that, she has been releasing her own style of pop since she started releasing solo music and Warning (which they must’ve only recently put on Spotify in full) is a pretty good encapsulation of that sound. It’s almost like a mix between K-Pop and K-R&B, but more like IU’s moodier songs for example. It’s not flashy and sparkly, but it’s not full-on groove either. It’s a bit of both and it works perfectly for her. 

--

Special mentions for new albums I haven’t listened to that much but do enjoy a lot: HAIM’s Women in Music Part III, Irene&Seulgi’s Monster, Taylor Swift’s folklore (released like a week before this post is published but it’s undeniably good and will get a longer write-up when I’ve had more time with it), Loona’s discography

[lady-rian]

2. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what do you like to listen to? 3. Are there any particular aus or plots that you’d really like to write? 15. What sort of muses do you tend to write? 16. Do you like to queue your replies or just post them when you finish? 17. Do you prefer winging it or plotting everything out? 19. Have you received anon hate? If so, how do you deal with it? 20. If you could tell your muse something, what would it be?

2. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what do you like to listen to?

I do! And it all depends on the mood of the writing. Can be anything from classical, epic mixes, country, hip hop, classic rock, folk... I listen to a little bit of everything. Each of my characters have their own playlists on Spotify and Youtube. I usually have something running if only for background, but if it makes me think of one character or another I toss it on a playlist. It’s not uncommon for me to get lost in YouTube just skimming through for ideas. 

3. Are there any particular aus or plots that you’d really like to write?

I’m not sure about AUs. I have written in them before, but it’s not my fave. I’d rather just create a new OC for the specific Universe. I’ve done a widespread variety from WoW, Vampire Masquerade, GW2, Pottermore, and a few in between that were mix of worlds and custom realities just for funsies.

As for plots, I have a hard time actually creating plots from scratch. More often than not I like to see how things come together and develop organically. It can be slice of life, adventure, hero, villains. I’m the worst kind of critic cause I genuinely generally enjoy it all. Plots that evolve and let pieces in on their own become known. When I did an arc with Rian a few years ago I kept general goals and in turn as the year went while working towards said goals a fair bit of information and connecting lines came about that I hadn’t even considered before. It was as much of a surprise in some cases as it was to those involved. 

15. What sort of muses do you tend to write?

That’s another wide variety. I’ve got my middle-class noble sorts or nobodies who are just dealing with what life has thrown at them, working toward discovering their limits. I also have the snarky sneaky sort. More villainous ones, some with spoop involved. I do love a good spoop arc. Long as there is room for character growth and I do try to keep to more realistic reactions/emotions etc. 

16. Do you like to queue your replies or just post them when you finish?

Most of my posts are queued. Though when it comes to writing, for asks and stories and prompts, those are posted in real-time. I’m impatient when I’ve finished writing something and RL comes first so I don’t always get to them quickly. I may reblog if it turns out I post something in the middle of the night or what have you. 

17. Do you prefer winging it or plotting everything out?

Wing it! The best stories I’ve had the pleasure of participating in have been in wing it scenarios. Not to say basics shouldn’t be sort of planned out. But like a long term goal for a character and keeping that in mind while filling in the middle. Sometimes that goal gets changed, sometimes it doesn’t. Nothing is set in stone until it happens and I don’t like to retcon, but I do like to use things that may have caused a bump as an opportunity to grow. 

19. Have you received anon hate? If so, how do you deal with it?

I think I got one, but it wasn’t real? I dunno there may have been one that was. I think it’s ridiculous that anyone wastes time on Anon hate. I have seen it hit my friends. I have invited those who want to spread hate to feel free to load up my box. Much like the raging in Battlegrounds I find it amusing to turn it back around. For example I had one guy raging in a BG and fired back comments to his negative ones. He rage quit and we went on to win. 

 I’m secure enough in my reality it doesn’t bother me personally. I’ve been around the block enough to know you can’t make everyone happy and you gotta do you. So I do me. The big thing is, this is a hobby. It is a game. If anything here or in-game makes me that emotional, I fully capable of getting up and walking away to spend my time on something more productive rather than stew or put people on blast. 

20. If you could tell your muse something, what would it be?

Rian, I’d tell to trust her gut, but keep patience. Cypris, That project you’ve been thinking on, you should just do it and reap the rewards. 

There are other muses but they’ve been hit and miss the last few months. 

( @jacobdcheshyre thanks for the ask!)

[blogaboutmusic]

all the playlists !

did this a while ago, but my spotify changed so much that i decided to do it again, and also because i have a lot of new followers! thank you & thank you if you follow my playlists! Be sure to check the list out bc i have a playlist for almost every genre & mood!

● ✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ* existential crisis:  everything i have that is sad ● 2019 ; letz getit: music i discovered so far in 2019 / music that is important to me in 2019 ● 20(18)GAYTEEN: every album that came out in 2018 (at least of artists i like) ● 20(19)BITEEN: every album that came out in 2019 (/artist i like :) ) ● 5sᴏs ; complete: i think the title says it all ● ａｌｉｅｎ���: a mix full of alt. songs. dope. 10/10 recommend to aliens ● all of it ; alternative ?: stuff that is alt but not quite, pop punk but not quite, rock but not quite, etc! ● all of it ; emo music: EVERYTHING YOU NEED. EVERYTHING SAD. EVERYTHING ANGRY. EVERYTHING GUITAR. pop-punk punk-rock emo/rock indie/alternative ● all of it ; k-pop: all the k-pop music that I listen to, stuffed into one mix. ● ᴀʟʟ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴡ ; ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ: all of all time low’s music ● angry k-pop bops: a playlist that was inspired by district 9 of stray kids ● autumn, baby: perfect songs for fall! ● back to the future: idk some albums that i love listening to that go really well together ● bandito tour ; twenty one pilots: a playlist for an upcoming concert ● b͓̽a͓̽n͓̽g͓̽ ͓̽c͓̽h͓̽a͓̽n͓̽: a playlist for my bias of stray kids! ● ʙᴀɴɢᴛᴀɴɢ sᴏɴʏᴇᴏɴᴅᴀɴ ; ʙᴛs: all of bts’ music in one playlist ● best intro's, no argue: okay but really 505 is one of the best songs ever don’t fight me on that one ● bi bops: actually it doesnt matter if you’re gay, straight, pan or bi, these all work. just bops. ● b-sides, : songs i tend to forget about because i mostly listen to other songs on the albums... but they deserve the world so there you go ● 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝖒𝖊: kinda angry, kinda alternative. ● bon voyage: i listened to this a lot when i went to paris and when i have to travel a lot. travel worthy. ● bop that Bussy ; emo version: FAV EMO JAMS AND BOPS AND BANGERS ● bring me the horizon ; complete : all of bmth’s music ● bts amsterdam 13.10.18: SETLIST ly tour amsterdam but also europe. i miss them a lot & wanna thank them for one of my best nights ever

● calm my anxious ass: what i need when i’m breaking down & alone again ● chanyeol (っ◔◡◔)っ: a playlist for my exo bias, mostly english sung songs though ● chilly billy doobop: so nice to have as background music or for when there’s a friend over. just ever so fckn CHILL ● classical // piano: classical music, mostly piano ● current mood: songs i’m probably listening to right now (lmao still) ● daniel james howell: a playlist for my fav youtuber!!! ● daydream: my playlist with music that makes me dream for a better version of me ● ᴅᴀʏ6 ; ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ: every day6 song ever. stan talent stan day6 ● death / school mix: songs about dying & other relatable stuff for school, ha ha ● dizzy tummy: stuff i listen to strolling through the city or being in a specific trainride ● dope on a rope: no, this isn't a playlist for the growlers' song, it's old beats. ● emo & alternative: sum emo tunes! totally random *insert that one crazy emoji with the tongue out* ● energize this tired bub: upbeat tempo music that really energizes me ● energetic appleflap: playlist for a friend (that i have crush on) ● eɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀᴘᴀʀᴋꜱ: music i  listened to before & after my waterparks concert + every waterparks song ever & the setlist ● ᴇxᴏ ; xᴏxᴏ: exo complete. please give us a ot9 comeback ● exploring: stuff i have yet to listen to ● fᴀʟʟ ᴏᴜᴛ ʙᴏʏ ; ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ: all of FOB’s music. can you believe i’m still emo trash? ● frickity freck!: fresh alt-ish music ● fuck me up: a ReAlLy gOoD aLterNaTiVe / IndiE / eMo playlist? ● funky dunky business: the bass in these is mostly really mcflipping good ● geez, morty: playlist for fake friends ● ɢᴏᴛ7 ; ᴀʜɢᴀsᴇ: all of got7 their music ● ɢʀᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴀʏ ; ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ: all of green day aka my fav band their music ! every.thing. ● grrr. : just metal and grunge. heavy shit ● guitars: really good guitars like guns ‘n roses & beatles and just guitars that i love??? ● guns  n' roses setlist: setlist g ‘n r Europe 2017 ● halsey: indie artist, all her music in a playlist ● happy vibes: music that makes me smile!! ● hoe anthems (k-pop ver.); k-pop bops that make me go wanna hoe the heck out ● homework // calm: music i listen to when i make homework ● hug me pls: acoustic songs i wanna listen to while cuddling ● i’m a mess: a good, short playlist i- lol- unironically made when i discovered Michael Clifford had a girlfriend lmao i hope theyre happy they deserve it ● i, an intellectual: a nerd: music from movies and series i really dig ● interactive introverts: music they played and i listened to before interactive introverts ● jae = bae: this one goes out to jae, guitarist and vocal legend in the band day6 ● jazzin' away: jazz, my friend. ● j-pop ; rock 'n soul: my favourite j-pop songs!! yes, that includes all one ok rock songs. ● journal writings: i attempt to keep up a journal. this gives me vibes. sometimes a bit more uptempo, but mostly a bit softer ● judith.eliza: for a friend ● jughead's tape: for jughead jones, of riverdale ● just guitars, nothing else.: just acoustic guitars of some of my fav songs, really good for while studying i think ● k-grooves: korean r&b and indie ● k-pop ; essential jams: my favourite k-pop songs, which are quite a lot! ● k-pop ; girls: all my girl groups’ music ● k-rock ; you make myday: all my favourite k-rock songs, yes that includes every day6 song because they are just that good sorry ● last young renegade tour: music i listened to before & after my all time low concert + the setlist ●  letters to you: songs that made me think of my crush. i think people can realate? ● let there be luf: some new alt, sum songs about love ● lilacskyjimin ; fav: playlist for a friend ● lone hours: in: feeling lonely? we do, too, dont worry. youre not alone. ● mama: stuff i grew up with / stuff my mother and i both like ● marina & the diamonds: apperantly she’s only called marina now? one of the best female singers i know, indie as f*ck ● ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ; 5sos:  playlist for the 5sos concert, setlist and the songs in between! ● micmicbudgee ; fav: playlist for a friend ● mom jeans, tired eyes: mostly 70s and 80s BOPS ● ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴀ x ; ᴍᴏɴʙᴇʙᴇ: all of monsta x’s music in a playlist ● muse ; complete: all of alt rock band muse their songs ● my chemical romance ; complete: emo rock band mcr all of their music ● my youngblood chronicals: alt rock songs. the reason why i’m still fighting ● nederlandse bodem: my favourite Dutch songs! ● ɴᴇᴏ ᴄᴜʟᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴛᴇᴄʜɴᴏʟᴏɢʏ ; ɴᴄᴛ: nct complete, in a playlist ● nienisneckdeep ; fav: playlist for a friend ● nights: songs i like to listen to before going to sleep ● noa.myg: fav: another playlist for a friend ● non-english bops: jewish, french, spanish, swedish, irish and celtic music like omnia (which is partly english but i think it fits here so tough luck) ● one ok rock ; complete: one ok rock is a japanese rock band that sings in english in their latest work ● ᴘᴀɴɪᴄ! ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪsᴄᴏ ; ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ: all of panic! at the disco’s music in a playlist ● paramore ; complete: paramore was a punk rock band with a female singer, and now they make alt rock ● paris: a playlist for a city that i miss, a time that i miss ● ᴘᴇɴᴛᴀɢᴏɴ ; ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ: aka all of k-pop group Pentagon their music in a playlist ● pizza punk: waterparks, neck deep, with con and music like that. perfect for skating eheh ● power vocals: beautiful voices ! voices that make me jealous ● problems with sleeping: lovely alt songs, some of them are about not being able to sleep ● queen discography: you know that movie, bohemian rhapsody..? ● rad activist shit: end gun violence. black lives matter. abortions should be legal, pedophiles and rapists should not be able to walk free. oh and love is love, get over it. angry songs, songs about revolution. ● rainbow: love songs, some sad (rain), some ever so happy (sun). together they make a rainbow ● red hot chili peppers: the red hot chili peppers are rock band and if you dont know them, look them up!! ● revolution radio 2017: music i listened to before & after my green day concert + the setlist ● rev up my spaceship, bois: modern hard rock in a playlist! ● sad boi o’clock: another sad playlist, you can never have enough of these ● sᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ; sᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴇᴇɴ: seventeens (k-pop) complete music discography ● skylinn ; khaleesiqoyi: first playlist i made for a friend: my best friend ● slytherin headgirl: this is what the people in slytherin listen to, i swear ● socrates would deffo stan: indie and alt, only for intellectuals (i’m just kidding) ● soft; rock™: soft (old) rock ● soft; k-pop: for if you wanna weep along with exo, bts,, etc ● soundtrack of my life 🌙: the basics to my music ● space jams 🚀: most songs are about wanting to run away, perfect for when you’re in space ● spoopy rave: i secretly listen to this through the year, idec ● starry skies, snazzy beats: mostly cute beats, perfect for studying or staring at the sky ● sᴛᴀʏ ; sᴛʀᴀʏ ᴋɪᴅs !: all of stray kids songs, go stan them already and please stay ● stranger things: songs that give me a stranger things vibe ● supernatural ; rock & grunge: stuff Dean Winchester would listen to, blue oyster cult, aerosmith, black sabbath, stuff like that ● tae tae: a playlist for v of bts, one of my biases ● the 1975: an alt band, latest work: an brief inquiry into online relationships ● the neighbourhood: very chill music. kinda rap, kinda alt ● these physically turn me on: really, really good songs, or nice vocals, idk how to explain ● tits out for harambe: the closest thing i have to pop music / rap i guess, with khai dreams, frank ocean, childish gambino, ari, troye, ya know ● tokyo: a playlist for dreaming about the feeling of a city ● travel back in time: 50s, 60s music, stuff i listen to with my grandpa but also alone cuz its fun ● twenty øne piløts ; complete: all of twenty one pilots their music ● underappreciated alt songs: alternative songs that i think deserve (even more) hype! ● waterparks ; complete: nice new pop punk band that deffo has a lot of talent! ● when the week ends: a mix for the weekend ● wubbalubbadubdub: old bops that make me forget about my sadness ● year in review: 2018: music i discovered in 2018 / music that was important to me in 2018 / songs that came out in 2018 ● yoongi: songs where you can sing yoongi really clearly and songs that make me think of him ● you’re making me feel miserable: songs i listened to after i confessed to my crush and he turned me down sksksksk

please reblog, it helps my blog a lot, tysm

[augujerdeer]

🍎👠🎃🌆👂😱💬!!! Feel free to not answer any of them!

IM CRYING BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY SENT INE THANK YOU jnsjshdjhsdjh

🍎what are yall’s favourite foods?

I think this is gonna be a long post now that I think about it, but i’m asking everyone what their favourite food would be if they could only pick one or two (not everyone answered or can but >:0)

Mine (Jamie) would be pancakes! or grilled salmon! OR SPICY TUNA SASHIMI!!!!

Kris, Chara and Matthew immediately just have chocolate as their answer dicenksfvjk but kris says “anything” and he lives up to it sometimes

Jaiden says gummy bears and gummy worms (all he eats is CANDY)

Kobe says flowers,,,,

Sal is picking between pizza and cheesecake smoothies

Peter says he doesn’t have one yet ;;

👠how difficult is it for y'all to agree on one cohesive outfit?

So this kind of depends on how many people are out, but I usually follow whoever wants to wear something if only one person is requesting something (Like when Kris would screech and ask for me/us to wear the pink hoodie or his sequins sneakers)

But if there’s multiple people, (usually Kris, Chara, or Matthew) it might take a while ksjskjskjs but generally everyone would go rock-paper-scissors or let the other person have us wear what they want! Usually because they deserve this turn or we take turns :0

🎃how many head mates could be considered scary?

HMM,,, I guess I would say Severous first. He’s a 8+ foot werewolf man, he is a BEAR

his fur is PITCH BLACK especially at night and his eyes and drool glow white (so he has no pupils, that’s his entire eyes), so if you’re in the forest in Providence in the middle of the night, you’ll just see a scary OwO face in the dark

HE DOESNT DO THE OWO FACE BUT ITS NOT LIKE I CAN COPY IT IN TEXT FORM

he always stands on two legs unless he’s SPRINTING , but honestly??? HES BABY and we all love him, Kobe calls him “PUPPY” and even drew him a few times while fronting ;;;;;;;; He’s actually a dad to one of our littles Penny and is gay and dates someone from one of my partners’ system

Also he doesn’t speak very well? He used to speak fluently but overtime and he was recovering from being a persecutor, his ability to speak was kind of, disintegrating? So he only speaks in SUPER SHORT and almost broken english sentences. if you visit him you can catch him reading children’s books and practicing to read and speak again,,, he’s baby,,,,

Chara (from undertale) could be considered scary inspace becaus ethey can go goopy- they’re not a scary person but if they want to scare you, (especially if you don’t know who they are i mean), they will be intimidating and stuff ;; when i first met them, they did spook me, and their eyes are very bright red

Sal (from Sally Face) I guess could be considered spooky because i was drawing him in class one time (prosthetic ON of course) and my friend said he looked scary ;;;? poor sal;;; he’s not scary at all

🌆what does your headspace look like?

*clasps hands together* goodness it’s a good thing i made this map. it’s VERY OLD but it’s still the same except imagine everything is WAAAAAY more spaced Out!

honestly i need to move the teleporters and mansion higher up (and the main tree closer to them) but this is it!!!

The most common places people go to is The Mansion, The Bunker, The Farmhouse, and The Picnic Ground! People when going for walks in the forest usually stick around the Picnic Grounds-Cave Pool-Farmhouse Triangle but usually can go anywhere- the forest is SO big though (alven took me flying once and it stretches to the horizon)

The Mansion is where most of us live! Here you can find Jaiden and the kids (Kobe, Aco, and Penny– and Carla (Carla is an NPC [who is aware of the outside?] but we don’t care she is family). Alven is also here with his lab, so is Joseph and Louise!! (and their dog, Troy). On the outside, you can’t see the mansion, only two giant doors (nobody ever uses kdndckdocsl we honestly just use the teleporters to go anywhere– Also, everything you see INSIDE the meadow excluding the bunker was what our headspace FIRST looked like!!! it was the start of everything ;; Jaiden made the mansion. The mansion has two main rooms- The Main Hall, and The Tall Corridor. There’s a looooot of history here

The Farmhouse is where I (Jamie) live! But i’m not inspace a lot so it’s honestly empty until i meditate there ;;

The bunker existed and is a place some people permanently moved to because we started having some Bad Refuses To Do Good Persecutors, or just bad people. They were VERY violent so half of us went to hide- and eventually the entire system actually moved to the bunker for almost a year and a half before moving out- and then some people stayed- mainly Matthew. People who live in the bunker are Matthew, Kris, Peter, Jade, Chara, Liam, and Sal! Icari should be here somewhere but i think she’s still hiding ;;

Most of the time if we have a new person, they move to the bunker right away. There’s a teleport system almost all over the frequent spots in the headspace so they can easily leave and enter! Matthew lives one the second ground below the 1st ground below because of some bad things that happened- he never leave the bunker because being outside scares him a lot- especially with the entire headspace being a forest :( you need special access to get down there

The Picnic grounds isn’t very special to me personally but Jaiden made it so people can have picnics!! It’s honestly SUPER pretty oh goodness, and no matter what time of day (unless it’s night) the sun is always shining nicely and it’s so pretty there, and people actually go there!!

The only people that don’t go there are Joseph and Louise because we had one bad person hurt them badly in that area,

Also the Ruined City i didn’t mention because– no one goes there- but we all know it exists. Basically it’s a purely grey/monotone/greyscale land? Like the moment you enter, the world transitions to black and white (not your body but the environment) and the only things that have colour are the miss and greenery in the background (mostly grass and parks, not a lot of trees). all the buildings are collapsed or destroyed in some way- so imagine a big area with degree and rubble and standing building but there’s so many destroyed parts like one building is missing an entire second floor and another has a giant gaping hole not eh side, etc.

we also don’t go there because it’s dangerous- there are giant SPIDER robots that patrol the area- we still don’t know why, but they shook lasers! (come back to this post later because I WILL add a picture of what i’m talking about!! i just don’t have my phone on me)

ANYWAY THERES MORE BUT ITS TOO MUCH TO PUT HERE

WE ALSO HAVE ANOTHER PLANET

👂What kind of music do y'all like?

Jamie - what do you mean people have favourite music? i’m just kidding uksdeijfdkj i like indie and broadway!!! pop is pretty cool but it’s not my first choice at all ;;; rock and metal hurts my ears

Chara - they have 4 playlists on spotify! One playlist is called Soft Knives for calm music (it’s usually happy but there could be some sad ones there- but no angst songs- imagine songs you can sleep to or calm down with). Blunt Knives is for angsty or apathetic moods- and Angry Knives is for ANGRY LOUD music. The have a 4th playlist called Chara’s Classical Collection. Chara can range from Classical music to indie music death metal and rock. They usually hate pop

Kris - he loves rap and r&b! though he loves a lot of music besides those! He loves tally hall and kid bloom :0 mostly chill or music that makes you go aW YEAH (his words) he also has Classic Songs in his playlist. So if you have it one shuffle, you’re listening to some sick bops and then all of a sudden Rockefeller Street Nightcore comes on and you get whiplash. doesn’t like metal or rock. He has a second playlist called “it’s Saturday Morning” for stuff like heo soul or “music you can dissociate to but not in a bad way” (Listen to Sugarcoat by Kid Bloom or Different State of Mind (some artist) for a general idea)

Matthew - rock and stuff similar to chemical romance and panic! at the disco. they like metal and rock but he says Sal’s and Chara’s are too aggressive for his taste- and hen you find out he sometimes listens to screamo

Sal - honestly i find his playlist super weird ? Some music sounds weird to me but otherwise his playlist is full over a lot of genres ! It’s kind of wack and funky- not the genre- but the amount of variety he has. And in his 2nd playlist is death/metal and rock- a bunch of loud music that can be fast sometimes too- is not afraid to head bang in public and do air guitar

Peter - We’re not sure yet but he likes music from his time- plus old music- specifically New Wave for now!his playlist is super new and he hasn’t been here a while so we’re not sure o>o

Jade - Soft calm or upbeat and happy music

Kobe and Aco - they are babies- Kobe still sings the ABC’s everyday so

😱do your headmates have any phobias?

i don’t think any of us has phobias- because it’s defined as “irrational fear” actually wikipedia says it can be CAUSED so nevermind dkjjkfd

Honestly these feel like triggers more than phobias butnit first thendescription of a phobia so;; i’m putting POSSIBLE because we’re not sure

Chara - Possible Nyctophobia (fear of the dark, but specifically extreme pitch blackness for Chara), Possible Ecclesiophobia (fear of the church -either building or what it represents])

Matthew - Agoraphobia most probably (fear of going outdoors/leaving the house, some say wide open spaces)

Sal - somewhat Cynophobia but wants to overcome it (fear of dogs) ((likes dogs but is afraid of them honestly))

Kris - Monophobia/Autophobia (Fear of isolation and abandonment) ((this is a big one))

That’s all i can think of for now

💬free space! one cool fact!

uuHHH,,,,,, i can’t think of any, but i know one thing: i love our system and i can see everyone’s trying really hard to take care of each other or are doing a lot to process their own memories and feelings ;;;

[wardholtermann-blog]

Basics Of Pop Music

Modern folks music refers to a wide variety of genres that emerged in the mid 20th century and afterwards which were associated with traditional folk music Beginning within the mid-twentieth century a brand new form of standard folks music evolved from conventional folks music. Large, like Salimpoor, says that this distinction in choice is because of how our neurons are wired together, which in flip is based on our personal, personal historical past of listening to or performing music. Rhythm is all about predictability, he says, and our predictions about music start forming from a reasonably early age onward. He factors to the work of Erin Hannon at the College of Nevada who discovered that babies as younger as eight months old already tune into the rhythms of the music from their very own cultural setting. Whether or not you agree with Stanley's personal opinions, his ardour is undeniable. When describing the music that has really moved him, be it a Seashore Boys tune, a Motown monitor, a punk anthem, a pioneering techno observe, www.magicaudiotools.com or a 70s bubblegum pop song, his eloquence and unabashed enthusiasm are infectious, drawing the reader in. Stanley is each professional critic and professional musician, but he's additionally at occasions merely a fan, desperate to share his discovery of pleasure with others. One may not agree with Stanley's private opinions, however any music fan is aware of the giddy rush that only comes when getting lost in a favorite tune. Regardless of your musical choice, that may be a universal feeling that this e book ultimately seeks to have fun, and in that it does a exceptional job. Musicians making the move from songs to cinema is a dodgy one which hasn't gone properly for some of her predecessors (Rihanna, I love you, but literally your entire films suck), but Gaga's funding in her debut lead efficiency is so sturdy that she's practically unrecognisable beneath it. That's not a gimmicky tackle her much-discussed ‘stripped again' look, it is a testimony to her skill as a sincere actor. She switches up all the pieces, from her conversational mannerisms to her distinct fashion of performing, to take us away from her personal pop narrative - even when Ally's story bares some glaring resemblances to her personal. Streaming companies are a beast that needs constant feeding. Youthful hip-hop artists, already accustomed to offering sites like SoundCloud with a relentless stream of mixtapes and features, have adjusted to its demands more quickly than artists from other genres, and have thrived accordingly. At the coronary heart of rap's streaming dominance is something extra ephemeral: Some songs simply stream better than others, for reasons that no one can really clarify but. Hip-hop streams higher than other forms of mainstream music, and trap music streams better than different varieties of hip-hop. However radio is certainly sputtering out. I myself only hearken to high-40 radio when I'm in a Lyft, and I am fascinated by how related every little thing sounds: same tinny manufacturing, same rap breaks, identical millennial whoop. Plus, playlists are narrower than ever, so the thought of radio as a discovery system is long gone. I assume children are discovering new issues through Spotify or Apple Music, whose algorithms and daily discovery playlists are scarily good at predicting what I am going to get pleasure from. Nonetheless, these things only collect information, and only reply with knowledge: more songs in the key of the songs you do not skip via, with the identical modulations and vocal model. We're all getting pushed deeper into our personal little corners. What you see before you is a list that I hope might be learn as an intervention. Almost 50 girls who play a task in NPR compiled and voted on this listing. It options albums by artists who determine as female — together with some by mixed-gender bands, like Fleetwood Mac and X, that, modern Pop Music in our view, relied on ladies's creativity for their spark. These albums have been released between 1964, the year The Beatles invaded America and set in motion what can be called the "classic album era," and 2016, when Beyoncé arguably ushered in a brand new period with her "visual album" Lemonade. The purpose is to offer a view of widespread music history with women's work on the center. The record does not represent an "alternate historical past." It stands for music historical past, touching upon every significant trend, social situation, set of sonic innovations, and new avenue for self-expression that in style music has intersected in the past fifty years. Though Schlager music is a part of the pop tradition, it occupies a special, considerably devisive area of interest; people are likely to either adore it or hate it. But then there's straightfoward pop music, usually viewed as more palatable and widely liked. A classic instance of this is singer Herbert Grönemeyer. Although many outside of Germany know him only from his function in the film Das Boot," he is also essentially the most successful artist in Germany, with a career that, to date, spans 44 years. It typically takes us the longest to stop punishing the merely good artists for not being geniuses, but ultimately we do — Hall & Oates just received into the Rock Hall of Fame , as an illustration, however a decade in the past folks were nonetheless snickering at their Nineteen Eighties blue-eyed soul-pop, little question in shame over having favored it for some time. I wonder if we will study to skip that center step? I've admired you for having the maturity to attend to the communal virtues of Mumford and Sons and other neo-folks bands I discover icky, for example. I think I dislike them partly as a result of I grew up with Nineteen Seventies Catholic folks-guitar lots, so such jangly uplift choral music strikes me as oppressively naïve. I am interested on this article not a lot for the specifics of the gear and the plugins, however fairly just out of sheer awe on the complexity and nuance of the monitor's soundscape. My cadre of pop-oriented music lecturers likes to say that the creativity in recordings lies not in their melodies and the chords essentially, but in their timbre and area. Call Me Perhaps" is an excellent working example. Its melody and chords are enjoyable, however not exactly groundbreaking. But the monitor leaps out of the audio system at you, demanding your consideration, managing both to pound you with sonic drive and intrigue you with quiet element. Whether you need your attention grabbed in this method is a matter of style. I occur to love the song, however even when it isn't your cup of tea, the craft behind it bears some desirous about.

The historical past of Popular Music hardly qualifies as a precise science. It is a retrospective analysis of events that focuses on the underlying forces or common signs in the overwhelming manufacturing of music data, ignoring nuances and aspect-effects to grasp a understandable construction. It is because (standard) music is much from a static phenomenon: it is a consistently evolving, reworking, large organism. Almost by no means has a music style suddenly emerged as a surprising revolution without any trace or evolution in the past. All of them have naturally developed, mutated, merged, or turn out to be (theoretically) extinct. Solely the previous could be examined of this pure, organic network.

[gundampilot]

Inspired by @dialup2002 to post some more old stuff. :) This is a desktop screenshot I posted on my DevART account January 2005. Kicking it with Windows XP, but I loved/preferred the classic style that I was accustom to (95-98-ME). I made the wallpaper used, but I’m having trouble finding a copy of it. I’ll prob try to remake it in non-1024x768 resolution lmao. Not sure if this is from 2005. It might have been from 2004, but I hadn’t posted it yet. I did that a lot. Some fun notes about some of the software icons pictured (lots of info):

Firefox - THE FIRST BROWSER TO DO TABS OMG. I was a huge advocate for Firefox, especially in its initial releases. They were doing things on the internet nobody had really seen up to that point, and made it popular! Since I had so many issues (as most people do) with Internet Explorer, I was shopping around for a new browser at the time of this shot. Google Chrome didn’t exist yet. (Can you imagine??)

IE - As stated above, I disliked IE. It was kept for various reasons, however. Such as testing website layouts, since the mass-majority of people used it and things looked different in browsers when you were coding.

Opera - While giving Firefox a try, I also managed to snag a very, very early copy of Opera. I’ve always been the type of person that loved to try out new stuff as early as possible, and this was a very special piece of software that I wanted to give a go. The reason that it was special? You had to send away for a CD for it. That’s right, kids. They snail-mail’ed me a CD because it was considered “commercial software.” I paid to get that browser lmfao. I was super super hyped later in 2005, because it became “freeware” and I was able to more-easily push my friends to try it out. The devs were (and still are) seriously awesome. This is why I still use Opera as my main browser today! Ya’ll should try it if you aren’t already! You can even use your most-beloved Chrome extensions on it. :)

Soulseek & WinMX - Holy crap, you guys! lmao Is anyone here old enough to remember these programs?? XD This was basically where most people went after Napster bit the dust. This was when we were all scrambling, trying to find a new P2P sharing program. This was right in-between the eMule/Donkey phase and before the Limewire/KaZaA fiascos where people’s computers were being overloaded with viruses from companies trying to stop pirating. Ahh, the wild, wild west... Days were so exciting when you spent hours downloading something that could potentially ruin your computer lmao

WS_FTP - Still one of my favorite FTP programs for Windows! Works like a charm! These days I use Transmit 5 for Mac, but this was my first program ever for file transfer protocol. It’s basically a tool for uploading files to my website’s server, because back when I first registered it, there was no web uploader for that kinda stuff. Now I stick with that because it’s easier and I’m used to it lol

Veo Digital Studio - Used to use this for my webcam back before webcams were built into laptops, and before they were common enough to have amazing freeware available for them.  (Also this is hilarious.) The quality was horrible, but I was hella excited to take pictures and share them with friends and on my blog at the time. From what I remember, there was something I used after this that was some type of South Korean selca software. Haduri? Something like that. It was really cute and even let you do little animations. :) 

Animation Shop - Okay. So... from what I remember, this might have been owned by the people that made Paint Shop Pro? I think it was Corel. I honestly don’t remember where I got this from, but this is what I used to use to make animated gifs (because Photoshop just....didn’t for some reason? I had to use PSP at some point, I remember that. I just don’t remember why lmao. It might have been my copy didn’t allow it, or my computer was just too shit to run it good enough, or just stopped working because....Windows). 

Adobe Photoshop 5.0 - I originally got this rip from a friend of mine, whose dad got a CD from his company that he worked at. It was an official/real license, which was really awesome! I think this was the first version of Photoshop I ever owned (!!), which is pretty amazing to think about about! I had that CD copy for a few years. I initially was gifted a copy of the CD around 2001-2002 or so. I know for a fact I had newer versions (7.0 was legend before CS suite came around), so I’m not sure why I was using this one at this point lmao. My guess is, like mentioned above, something happened with my computer and I didn’t want to format it and reinstall everything lol or because it was the fastest version I had installed to boot up and do a quick photo edit.

Adobe Photoshop 7.0 - I do remember this took a long time to start up. I can only imagine this was like a bad pirated copy or something, or was so bloated with new stuff in it, and that’s why I kept 5.0 for a quick boot. I know I used this majority of the time, though. Most of my backups for brushes and fonts are from backups that include 7.0 as a zip. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  My computer wasn’t the most powerful at the time, despite what I pushed it to do, so this is prob why.  But hell yeah! Photoshop represent! lol I still use it today, and its still one of the first things I install on a fresh OS install. Enjoying CC 2017 these days.

Nero Start Smart - I was so excited to make mix CDs and share them! Back in the day before you had stuff like playlists that were sharable on YouTube/Spotify, etc, you had this to share music. Or play in your car. Or CD walkman. Nero was a software you could burn your CD-Rs and make your own laser-etched album art! I begged for years to get a CD burner lmao. Back when casette tapes were still around enough that my parents were like “but why???” lmao. They were not common back in the day like they became over time, just, like, included on your computer. Back then you had to buy one and install it into your computer tower yourself! I got mine I believe.....in 2001? It was the year after the Playstation 2 was released. The first one I got was just a very standard burner. Did a very specific type of CD burning at a low (slow af) speed. It was $700 lmfao. Let that sink in for a minute because my parents didn’t let me forget about it for the next four years lmfao. I saved up birthday and Christmas money and went halves on it. Then I upgraded to the one that this one was! c: Which did the laser etching, and DVD burning! (And you better believe I was burning DVDs of stuff I was downloading online lmfao this was the golden age of the internet where everything was just available everywhere as long as you had the patience to download that shit, because it took forever to download)

Volume Control - My dad and I messed with the wires on all of these random computer speakers and stereo speakers that we had collected over the years and hotwired our own version of a 5.0 surround sound in the room, which was mounted to the ceiling corners and above the computer station. It was lit. I needed Volume Control easily accessible because sometimes the speakers needed redirecting, or I needed to turn the beats down because my mother was tired of my fifth time playing the Gundam Wing OSTs and Miyavi. (It was metal, okay???)

Windows Media Player - I did not use this to listen to media. Let me reiterate that. I did not use it to listen to media on. lol this was specifically used to rip tracks from CDs that friends lent me, because it was the easiest software I was able to use to change the KBPs for quality control and the ID3 tags so I could save it and organize it for use in Winamp and know wtf I was listening to lol. Nobody used WMP for listening to music.... xD 

Winamp - The best music player. Period. Still. Nothing beats it. Pls, pls, Nullsoft! Come back and make a native version for MacOS. :’((((  I would buy it! Doesn’t even have to have new features or look different. Classic look, pls pls! 

Media Player Classic - Do people still use it??? This player was amazing! Paired with k-lite codec pack, it played everything. It was like VLC before VLC. And it looked good. Clean. Small. Could be installed anywhere which was nice. And the codec packs just made everything look and run fantastic! 

Recycle Bin - .... Trash XD 

Magnifier - This was for my dad because he had bad eyes and couldn’t remember CTRL +/-/0 to increase the text on pages that he wanted to read.

My Documents - Where I saved all the stuff I downloaded. Not the real My Docs. Just a folder that I named as such, with a custom icon. I don’t know why I wanted it there lol. I think to just have a uniform square on my desktop haha

Journal - I renamed this. I forget the original name of the client, but it was the official client of LJ. It was basically a program that let you write up posts for Livejournal and you could format things, draft them, etc, and post without uploading to your journal/blog. I liked it because sometimes I couldn’t post right away, and it made making drafts a lot easier for me to go back and edit. It also let you edit past posts, which was really convenient instead of looking for it on the web version one post at a time.

AIM+ - I loved AOL Instant Messenger, but over time the ads became too much. I invested a lot of time in 3rd party clients. I was constantly switching between AIM+, Adium, DeadAIM, Pigeon, Trillion, etc. Depended on what I wanted to do that day. Want to clone a SN? Want to skin the colors of the chats? Need transparency? Want to customize your lists? Want to log into more than one msg system at once? They all had their strengths. This was my msg service of choice. Back in the day you were either on this, MSN, or Yahoo!. Some people rocked ICQ and there were a few others, but these were the most common from who I knew/hung out with. I miss those days. <3 

You can see WinMX running in the taskbar lmfao so I was prob downloading something at the time of snagging this quick shot. I also had DevART open (prob because I was gonna share this on there). I really wish I had more programs open at the time of this! XD It’s wild to look back at some of the software changes over the years!

Anyway, that’s one of my oldest screenshots that I can find that I’m able to share right now. :) I’m going to be posting a remake of that wallpaper that I did later today for those of you that want that, too.

If you read this far, thank you!! Hope you had fun reading about old stuff! 

[twilight-adamo]

As Dreams Are Made On: The Mixtape - Liner Notes

Hello everyone! I am currently in the process of gathering my thoughts on Brave New World and trying to get the next installment of These Our Actors (which will focus on Rosalie) just right, in addition to trying to find my thread on Out of the Blue and other non-Twilight projects. This has been complicated by the fact that I’ve been fighting a couple rather nasty nose and throat bugs of late, and so this weekend I’m doing my best to relax and recover.

In the meantime, I thought I’d start offering up my notes on the Spotify playlist I posted a while ago and why I chose the songs I did. For anyone who didn’t see the link, here it is:

https://open.spotify.com/user/12153099402/playlist/5IYjYDbcM6qvQ2hgGnOCGF?si=orkjWU50SjKm7xbPSF_r5w

Since many of my choices do relate directly to specific plot points, there are potential spoilers ahead, so I’m putting this behind a cut. I won’t get through every song in this post, but I’ll add additional notes in subsequent posts as time allows.

As I think I mentioned before, I find playlists to be a very useful tool in my writing. It’s possible to spend too much time tinkering with playlists, of course, so I try not to do it in place of writing or outlining - this is just something I work on when I’m occupied with non-writing tasks that allow for a certain amount of downtime. Each song tends to relate to a plot point or an emotion I’m trying to evoke in a certain part of the story, and the sequence generally follows my outline of the plot, though I’ll sometimes put the playlist on shuffle if I’m feeling stuck and want to try and shake things up, and I sometimes end up adding, removing, or resorting various songs as my understanding of the plot evolves. Since As Dreams Are Made On is done, the current version of the mixtape - all 49 songs - is now pretty much in its final form, but when I’m working on a story, the associated playlist is very much a living document and subject to change.

Music has always been a hugely important part of my life, thanks in large part to my mother, who was an influence on much of my creative output. I tend to think of myself as a visual and verbal person first and foremost, but music has the power to set my mood, to reawaken old memories, to align my thoughts, and to soothe my emotional turmoil. My personal tastes are fairly eclectic - my mother favored country, and I’m still fond of the genre, but I also listen to a lot of pop, classical pieces, musical theatre, folk music, movie scores, and so on. Spotify has been kind of a godsend when it comes to building playlists, though there are unfortunately a few pieces which should be on the mixtape but aren’t simply because they’re unavailable on Spotify. I’ll try to make a note of those missing pieces in the appropriate sections.

Right, well, without further ado, let’s get to the songs.

Pieces and Pieces - The Rough and Tumble This song’s sort of a thesis statement for the whole story, in a way. The refrain, in particular, speaks to me of where I was going: Nothing is lost when it’s been found again / Everything’s found where it was lost. Cass/Bella (or CB, as I refer to her, when I’m not simply calling her Bella) has seemingly lost a great deal, but she comes to gain a great deal as well, and to recover things she thought lost to her forever. The line “I will make you mine again, pieces by pieces” also speaks to me of the story’s dramatic climax, where the nature of CB’s relationship with Alice becomes clearer.

Where Is My Mind? - Pixies Here’s where we’re getting into the actual sequence of events. This one might be a little bit of a cliché, but it reflects CB’s confusion when she wakes in the world of Twilight. It’s also just generally one of my favorite songs.

Turning Page - Sleeping At Last This is the first of many pieces pulled directly from the soundtrack of the Twilight films, and the first song that centers a character other than CB, as it reflects Alice getting hit by the mating bond full-force. It’s a lovely piece, but I think there’s an undercurrent of anxiety and some slightly ominous elements that suit Alice’s mood well. Love at first sight sounds like a pleasant prospect, but it’s also a frightening one, and neither Alice nor CB would have chosen it, given the chance to choose.

Iowa (Traveling, Pt. 3) - Dar Williams Another of my favorite songs. I listened to a lot of Dar Williams in college, and listen to her fairly often still, but I keep coming back to this one in particular. As a lifelong New Englander, famed for what my great-grandmother called ‘the Yankee reserve’ (which means we don’t tend to wear our emotions on our sleeves and generally we keep to ourselves), these lyrics in particular speak to me:

But way back where I come from We never mean to bother We don’t like to make our passions other people’s concern And we walk in the world of safe people And at night we walk into our houses and burn

So, to me, this song speaks of CB’s struggle with her own emotions as her life in Forks begins and she grapples with the mating bond and all it implies. And it also speaks to her background as a lifelong Bostonian, who doesn’t like to be a bother but nevertheless finds herself in a whole new social context and a position where she needs to reach out to others to survive.

Heads Will Roll - Yeah Yeah Yeahs This is Rosalie’s introduction to the story. I don’t really know why, it just seems to suit her, somehow.

Bela Lugosi’s Dead - CHVRCHES It may be physically impossible for me to write about vampires WITHOUT using this song. I just felt like I had to fit it in somewhere, and the first meeting with the rest of the Cullens (sans Carlisle and Esme, of course) seemed like a good spot.

Looking for a Place to Shine - Deidre Thornell Hear the Bells - Naomi Scott I’ll be honest, I don’t have a lot of compelling reasons for these two. They just seemed to fit the sort of transitional period between the first meeting with the Cullens and Leah’s introduction a little later on.

Red Eyes and Tears - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Leah’s introduction to the story. Again, it just seemed to suit her.

New For You - Reeve Carney We’re back to Alice with this one. It sort of reflects her own emotional turmoil in dealing with the mating bond and having to accept that CB doesn’t necessarily reciprocate all her feelings just yet.

Fearless - Taylor Swift Well, this one actually comes up in the story, so you can pretty much guess where it fits in. Again, though, it’s one of my favorite songs, and speaks to the joy that I think love should carry with it, and the idea that love should drive us forward and make us better. It’s been a serious contender for the first dance at my hypothetical wedding for a long time (though “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri may be beating it out now).

The Mercy of the Fallen - Dar Williams More Dar Williams! This one...I don’t know. Somehow, it speaks to me of love and acceptance, of individuals who are all burdened and broken in their own ways reaching out and comforting one another. And that, in turn, makes me think of CB’s first visit to the Cullen house: her first real conversation with Rosalie, her introduction to Carlisle and Esme, all of that. This is where she really starts to build bridges, I think, and where she and some of the others begin to open up to one another.

Bella’s Lullaby - Carter Burwell, Dan Redfeld and Elizabeth Hedman This is of course one of my favorite pieces from the Twilight movie score, and includes a leitmotif that comes up more than once in both the films and in my playlist. I couldn’t find the original version from the score itself on Spotify, but this cover works. Of course Edward plays it on the piano at this point in the story, reading it out of CB’s thoughts, and I think she adopts it in a sense as a sort of personal theme. Every time I listen to it, it makes me think of soaring pine trees and crisp, cold air, and I find the melody very soothing.

Missing Piece: Star by Star - Cassandra Lease and Melissa Carubia Someday I’m actually going to get together with the friend who helped me with the arrangement on this one and record it. It probably won’t go up on Spotify, but I’ll likely post it somewhere. This is the song I wrote for my mother’s memorial service; the lyrics are of course reprinted in the story in their entirety. This is probably one of the most personal elements of the story, the point where I really started to spill my guts across the page. I obviously backed off a little from my own life once I introduced Callie to the story, but there’s still a lot of my soul buried in the text; sometimes, I think, too much.

Bella’s Lullaby (Extended Mix) - The Twilight Orchestra I’m not really sure why this shares the name Bella’s Lullaby when it doesn’t seem to have much to do with the shorter piece, but whatever. This is just a lovely piece that sets the mood for Alice and CB on the rooftop and the events that follow.

Possibility - Lykke Li Similarly, this is more of a ‘setting the mood’ song. I don’t think the lyrics quite fit, in their entirety, but this basically represents CB awakening to the possibility of forming a real attachment to Alice, despite her qualms.

Shake It Off - Taylor Swift Another (highly anachronistic) Taylor Swift song that shows up in the story itself. I can be an extremely basic white girl at times.

Bad Reputation - Avril Lavigne The Joan Jett version isn’t on Spotify! I don’t know what to tell you! This cover’s pretty good, though. Another Leah song, and something I imagine might be playing in the dive where CB introduces Leah to fried pickles.

Nothing to Lose - Minusworld My friend Melissa’s band! Get their EP, Giant Blazing Sword, wherever you buy digital music! Listen to them on Spotify and Bandcamp! Anyway, I think this is the track playing during Leah and CB’s encounter with the scary assholes in the alley, and when Emmett and the others get their big damn hero moment.

In Place Of Someone You Love - Carter Burwell, Dan Redfeld and Elizabeth Hedman We’re skipping ahead a bit here. This piece comes after the shopping scene and CB’s attempt to analyze Rosalie’s abilities, when she’s in the dream of the burning house, trying to save her memories.

The Forgotten - Green Day This piece represents CB’s emotions after she wakes from her brief coma, as she struggles with losing her memories and burning away parts of the world she left behind.

Black Is The Colour - Cara Dillon And this piece represents CB’s acceptance of her feelings toward Alice, her confession of love despite her reservations. It took me a while to find a cover I liked, as I very much wanted to use a version that had a woman singing about another woman, for obvious reasons.

Okay, I think that’s pretty much all I can handle for now. More to come soon!

[viktuurificwriters]

AO3 Writer: HuntressFirefall

Username: HuntressFirefall

Tumblr: HuntressFirefall • Twitter: BurnMyHeartOut

Name: MJ

AO3 Icon:

Firefall, my Elf alter ego created by a friend and drawn by me.

Preferred Genre in Writing: I’ve only been doing fanfiction for about a year, so I don’t have a “favorite” per se. I’m most comfortable writing fantasy and about things/situations I know well.

Works: The first fanfic I wrote for YOI (and really only the second overall) was Learning and Laughter, which came to me immediately after binge-watching YOI during New Year’s Week 2017. I kept it to myself for months, until reading fanfic for the show (something else I’d also never done before) made me decide to join AO3. I was nervous about posting it but once it got a favorable response, I got more confident and I started thinking about what else I could write.

Because I had only ever written my own original work, I wasn’t really sure how the fan fiction genre worked so I stuck with what I knew. The result was Of Selves and Souls, a fantasy AU set in an original universe I’d been developing for many years. At age 12, Yuri is with Mari when he falls down a cliff into a ravine and nearly dies until he is healed by a Unicorn. As he comes of age, he finds that the Unicorn’s magic has affected him in a way he never expected: it is changing him into a different species of Unicorn that inhabit a humanoid body. Later in the story we meet Victor aka Vitanya, who is a “classic” Unicorn that shape-shifts into the “Immortal”, or humanoid, type Unicorn. Eventually, Yuri finds out his destiny involves a lot more than just being gifted with sacred magic. The one-shot Taking Root is a companion story that I wrote once OSAS was finished. (The original story this universe came from is also posted in my works, however it is not a YOI fic.)

The fic I just finished, that is the longest thing I’ve ever written, is called All The World’s Indeed A Stage (And We Are Merely Players). It is a singing competition AU that is 99% American Idol-inspired and 1% Eurovision-inspired due to the international contestants element. It ended up being much, much longer than I anticipated because I discovered trying to describe singing and performance is very difficult; because of the AI format, I also basically had to write for a large ensemble cast where I utilized just about every YOI character I could in some way, from bit parts to the eventual Top 12. The story encompasses the entire AI/singing competition journey, from auditions, to Hollywood Week, a special Showcase round and finally, the top 12 finalists competing for the title of Grand Prix Superstar, with a musical theme they must work within each week. When I couldn’t portray exactly what I wanted to with words regarding their singing, I started making a playlist on Spotify that went with the fic. I’m very happy with how it turned out and I had fun paralleling canon stuff from the anime as I wrote.

About:

I’ve been writing for a really long time, in some shape or form, but it was always either RP involving established characters or my own original work. The Mythological fantasy universe that Of Selves and Souls is set in has been my baby since I was in my late teens (which was… quite a while ago, lol). I hadn’t been really inspired to write or get back to my art for about 10 years, with a few bursts of creativity here and there, until YOI somehow rebooted all that for me.

My writing style doesn’t follow any specific ‘genres’ per se; my writing is more like a fantasy-writer’s format where things build up and plot elements are revealed slowly. I only in my most recent writing have started to experiment with writing explicit scenes, but I prefer to use them sparingly. I stay away from extreme angst and death in my stories; if there is death it’s usually minor OCs that are in the background or something that happened in the past (see OSAS). Overall I’m still finding my way in fanfic and my style is different than a lot of the fanfiction work I’ve read (or at least I feel like it is). I’m hoping to do sequels to both Stage and OSAS, and will add things I’ve learned about the YOI fanfic genre from reading others’ works along the way to my own style, while hopefully still staying “me”. :)